i said in another post i was rping loop in a multifandom rp group and i'm having a lot of fun! so much fun that i made a giant doodle sheet of loop's glitch....that i haven't even gotten to rp yet but am so excited to im getting carried away. whoops
(in the context of the group, think of glitching like in spiderverse, they don't belong in this new world/dimension so their existence rejects it. we can do whatever we want for glitches so i just made loop's that they get their humanity back. yknow. for misery whenever they unglitch and go back to being a star [thumbs up])
i think my favorite here might just be the Go there Go Into the Dark catcrumb edit lmao
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Its tragic that Regulus died but it's more tragic that he didn't have to. Kreacher could Apparate him from the cave. And if Regulus wanted to protect his family, his secret death achieves this how? He just disappears and Vold isn't looking for him or punishing deserter' family? Isn't worried that the boy whose house-elf he borrowed to test horcrux protection vanished? But the again, Vold wasn't shook when Kreacher showed up at Bella's in 5th book though elf supposedly died in that damn cave. XD
everything about regulus feels like an exercise in didn’t have to tbh
like yeah i know heroic teenager sacrificing himself blah blah but,,,,after reading a lot of fics that actually focus on worldbuilding/plot/side characters--im not entirely convinced that'sd what it was. like. if harry & co hadn't found the locket by sheer luck, then there's a v good chance things wouldnt have ended the way they had. reg ended up making things harder in his quest to vanquish the dark lord or wtv.
and like, im not even trying to bash here, but when i look at regulus the top character traits i see are arrogance, ambition, inflated sense of self worth, recklessness, and single mindedness (if thats valid). i mean,,,our boy could've easily asked sirius for help, he knew for a fact that his brother was on the other side, but he didnt. why? i cant see anything but ego there. he didnt even try. he was nowhere close to putting the cause above his own self.
but also,,,the fact that he actually went in the cave, presumably knowing he would die,,,that kinda indicates something much sadder for me. like, why else would he be so ok w the fact if he wasnt, say, unbearably suffocated and hopelessly over his head? if there wasnt latent suicidal ideation or, at the very least, a desire to get out, get away, not be here.
like, idk. i cant think of why he wouldnt ask kreacher to apparate him back/help him escape when he knew house elves could bypass the magic until he'd just fully accepted (perhaps even wished for) his death ykno?
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okay so like as im typing this out i feel lowkey pathetic as fuck but i just easily had the worst day of my entire life and i lowkey need somebody anybody who wasn't with me to tell me "im glad you're okay and u didn't deserve all of that"
i frew up....... for 16 hours nonstop 🤪 literally nonstop!!!! i am not exaggerating even a little bit!!!! it was constant and i have never been so scared that i was gonna die. can you even fucking die from throwing up? probably not but once you hit a certain point it really really really feels like it.
it was so bad that we had to call my mom. and still with both her and mars tending to me like i was a baby, literally doing everything for me from getting me water to changing the tempature or fixing my blankets, it didn't help even a little bit.
it started at 6pm. at 6am i was about to start slamming my head against the wall until i passed out so mama took me to urgent care. we got there as soon as they opened.
walked in there and broke down like i haven't broken down ever before in my life just begging for the pain to stop
this story actually has one of the happiest endings as far as my medical fiascos typically go. the doctor who came into see me was an actual literal angel on earth. i wanna buy him a card or flowers or some shit. a lot of the time i don't get a lot of sympathy with this condition (on account of me being "too young" for my IBS to be as severe as it is) but this fuckin man not only prescribed me some really good medicine but he actually stayed in the exam room with me for probably 45 minutes, specifically just calming me down and comforting me. and it worked. the meds were a big part of course but it was honestly the best therapy i've gotten in years. i have been in an out of hospitals/urgent cares/emergency clinics more than i can count. the medical bills i rack up are horrifying. and i swear to god that ive never ever encountered a medical professional anywhere near this level of compassionate. especially while sick and throwing up like that. probably 2/3rds of the time i get written off as "just having a panic attack"
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as happy as i am for lissie and marcus (even though I knew they were already together because I literally watched them make out with my own two eyes) it was honestly my last straw. I’m so tired of seeing everybody on my social feeds happy and in relationships when I’ve just had the worst week of my life and have basically given up on falling in love because if I can’t even drive how am I going to go to places where I’ll meet people?!?!? i have spent every Valentine’s Day alone while my friends go on elaborate dates and I’m just so so tired
not the make out sesh 😩 oh to see them with my own two eyes irl... what a pretty sight it would be
this got quite personal and hit a little too close to home so im putting a lil keep reading thing
love :(( i’m truly sorry you feel this way... but god i felt this ask so much... first of all, i'm really sorry about you having a bad week. it's completely fine to feel the way you're feeling, it must really suck, but i'm sure you'll get the license and you'll be driving shortly!! i am keeping my fingers crossed for you ❤️
i’ve always been very calm about relationships and love, very much “i’m not in a rush” and “it’ll come when it’s time”. i’ve always been a hopeless romantic but i haven’t been stressed about it – i’ve always been so busy that i haven’t really had time for love, and i've been okay with hearing about friends and their great love lives while i've spent pretty much every weekend and holiday alone at home. but… eventually, it becomes exhausting, you know? when falling in love for real just seems so far away and like something so hard to achieve in some way....
i also kind of feel you on the driving part... i decided not to get my license for a bunch of reasons, and idk how i'll get around without driving... but also as i am still living with my parents, it just seems impossible to meet someone, because where would i bring them? home to meet my snooping parents?? no way
i think we just gotta hold on to the hope that when it is the right time, it will happen. i don't believe in the whole "don't rush it" thing, i think that we're all allowed to seek and chase love if we want to, but i also think it's okay to take a step back and just breathe and be okay with the situation. unfortunately, our current day society is so formed around relationships, soft launches and hard launches and dinner date pics on insta and public proposal videos, that i feel like the pressure easily gets overwhelming. there's also something in the way that people think other people's love lives is any of their business, like friends and relatives asking me why i don't have a boyfriend, as if a partner is something i need to live my life? surely it would make it better, but i don't need to be reminded and hurt yet again over the fact that i'm alone, when i'm just trying to move on in life...
i'm trying to stay patient, open to any opportunity, and remembering that social media is merely a highlight reel and not reality. i hope you too can find peace in remembering that things will get better, we just have to work through this first. we will get through it and come out stronger on the other side. darling, if you ever need something from me, want to rant, or anything else, know that my messages and inbox are always open 💗
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