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#i just generally felt good yesterday
realbeefman · 5 months
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started wearing Actually Supportive sneakers everywhere because house wears sneakers and i’m a silly little fanboy who thinks he’s the coolest dude ever and suddenly realized that my knee and hips no longer hurt??? thank you gregory house for tricking me into taking better care of my body
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opens-up-4-nobody · 8 months
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#its crazy how much easier it is to do things when youre not completely miserable lol#this past week has been weird bc ive felt really really good and like normal in a way thats kinds unfathomable#im hoping its the medication but my mood was already on an upward tilt and i was told it would take like 6 weeks for the meds to work#property but like ive been sleeping way more than usual. and by that i literally just mean 8hrs a night lol which is weird for me#like that never ever ever happens multiple days in a row. so idk. when i feel better it makes the 0cd way easier to manage as well#and im just generally not as anxious. on the more worrisome side i kinda just give less of a fuck so like i have an exam im not ready for#Tuesday and im just kinda like hm fuck that lol. ill go thru lil fluctuations of having a lot of energy too#like: i could run around in circles rn. i dont have to but i could. like yesterday i was out with friends and i was like bouncing up and#down while standing and rocking from side to side while sitting. which i kinda do anyway while in crowds but it was more to expend energy#last night i also got like 5hrs of sleep. so like maaaaybe ive been on the bleeding edge of mood elevation but for the most part it just#feels good and not destructive. like if i felt like this all the time that would b fantastic. its like oh so this is y ppl dont long to b#put out of their misery lol. depression? who? i dont kno her. sounds fake. but as soon as i fucking say that ill b fucking slapped back#down to earth. ugh. annoying. no emotional object permanence. i hope its the meds. if this is the person i am under layers of misery then#that is fucking so insane. we shall see. im curious to hear what the psychiatrist thinks of my brain when i follow up with her#i gave her my full dys1exia assessment which gives a pretty good picture of how my head functions. oh fuck i bet i would do waaaayyy better#on thise test if i took it in this state of mind. but anyway she has that on top of like 3 assessment sheets i filled out#dispite everything i still want someone to categorize me into a discreet box. tell me doc. am i really bip0lar? really really?#ur sure??? like 1000% sure bc my brain wont let me accept that unless its beyond a reasonable doubt. i just doesn't seem that serious.#i mean. it is but like ya kno. its not that bad. ay. this glob of mush behind my eyes runs me in circles#but for now thats ok bc i feel like i could run up a mountain or punch someone in the face lol#unrelated
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can we talk about how beautiful the most recent episode of welcome to night vale was?
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storfulsten · 8 months
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hey uh sorry for disappearing yet again for a couple months. don't have much of an excuse, though things have been more stressful than usual, offline life having involved family and hospitals and stuff, but not gonna go into any details, things are better now either way so ye. my way of coping with things have been mostly to just play games (ffxiv mainly, leveling alts and other grinding can be a good distraction sometimes) and nothing else to keep my mind off things, so haven't been able to focus enough to do much of any art at all. I am hoping to get back into the swing of things, I am back on my meds that I skipped out on for like a year due to various reasons, but they seem to be helping again so yeah, fingers crossed that things will work out and such ha
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dalishthunder · 30 days
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Owl House week!! Everyone’s new designs were so CUTE and I was so excited to draw them!!! :)
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dykedragons · 1 year
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i love making things for my friends!! i love it when my friends enjoy the things i make them!!!!!
#ramblies#i just appreciate them all so much. its the little things- the pins ive made them on their bags‚ the art ive made them as icons on socials#maybe its not much to them but its everything to me to know that the little things ive spent a little time making are worn#like badges of honor. its so special to me.#like‚ generally now i just feel so valued. my relationships are natural and reciprocal.#its like... finally!! THIS is what ive been fucking missing this whole time!! this ease!!#i dont need to prove myself‚ to compensate‚ to ask for reminders that im valued. they show me all the time. i never have to ask.#i dont know what happened. i dont know what changed from high school to now. i became a better person‚ i met better people? both.#i dont care how long it lasts or if its not this good forever. im just happy to be here. i finally feel worthy of this‚ without question#ive only known them for a few months but its the most secure ive ever felt.#maybe im oversharing!! i dont know!! i cant tell them outright ill overwhelm them!! its my blog and i can overshare if i want to!!#i dont know. im just grateful.#in other news i cleaned up my room a bit too‚ did lots of housework. always feels really cleansing.#after a stressful day yesterday this is what ive needed. a self care day. i have a lot of stuff to do but... it can wait while i rest lol#idk its just. so special to feel like i finally dont have to be the ''best'' or whatever to be loved. im loved as i am.#no arbitrary comparisons. its not conditional. i dont need to compete‚ i always feel like theres room. i hope we all thrive.
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famewolf · 8 months
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fighting every urge in my body to take a nap before work and instead filling my morning with things that I enjoy watching/reading
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delta-piscium · 1 year
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Re ur tags about worrying about having the perfect snippet for wip Wednesday/weekend: 1. Totally absolutely feel that, but 2. I literally posted a snippet the other day and realized I had straight up written the scene wrong based on my outline and realized I was gonna have to rewrite that but literally a minute after hitting post. Which DID feel very shitty, except then I realized that if the fic changes between the snippets I write and what actually gets posted, that means people get a glimpse into what some of the editing/revising process entails, which I also think is really cool!
Anyway, obviously it's still hard and scary to put raw/unfinished writing up on the internet for everyone to see, but at least for me I know I'm never expecting polished sentences from wip snippets, and part of what I enjoy about then is getting to see people in the process of creation, which is always gonna be a little messy!
(about my tags on this post)
first of all thank you so much for this because I got in my head about it all, like ridiculously so and this helped a lot!
I’m sorry about the scene you had to rewrite that’s annoying but you’re so right, seeing other peoples process and what they post for wip stuff vs finished fics is so interesting, like actually love seeing that
that’s something I’ve been scared off because some of the fics are so messy and discombobulated right now I’m not sure if anything will stay the same. But like you I don’t except anything polished or like a special scene from wip wednesday/weekends I’m just excited about people writing in general and I do love seeing the small little glances whatever they are. I think I just need to remember that these aren’t like previews or supposed to reflect the entire fic but literally just motivation
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machidielontheway · 1 year
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feeling mcfucking lonely today
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morningmask27 · 2 years
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i’ve been working for a few hours on preparing a proper text to send to my religion teacher about amatonormativity. i’ve been researching it in english, i’m writing my first draft in english and i am thining about leaving it in english instead of also doing the hard work of translating it in dutch. this is just one of those concepts i cannot explain in another language than english so i’ll probs do that
#Morningtalks#yes it sounds weird to send a thing about amatonormativity to my relgion teacher#but the thing is religion in my school is mostly whatever the fuck (i saw hope and vulnerability. ethics. and love this year#we just discuss these things en general and sometimes just quickly check what the fuck christians think about the matter#and during my oral exam of religion my teacher asked me if i had any opinions about the class (i have a suspicion that i'm the only one#she asked because i was very grumpy during half the classes about love and the other half i was saying shit that was so different from what#the rest of the class was thinking#besides obviously the fact that i was considered a proffesional about all things queer#but yeah i just explained that love was a touchy subject to me for personal reasons but thatthe classes were good#i just felt like amatonormativity was something we could've discussed. we didn't mention it at all and i felt like that wasn't a good thing#i quickly explained to her what amatonormativity was but i did that in one minute#and when i had left i knew i wanted to write her a proper text explaining as well as i could what amatonormativity was#and i just procrastinated until now (for my defence i was busy with exams until yesterday and yesterday after school i went to see my psy#and then was too tired to do stuff#btu i did start writing down some of my ideas while i was waiting on a friend#and now i'm going to start writing the little fella#inbetween my daily whis doodle obviously
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laikahh · 2 months
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#obsessed w this image. i love himmm#bought volume 8 when i was in warsaw yesterday :-) yayyy#but . um. hey so like i think Ios camp should all be hunted down for creating heart swells/pacific daylight time. like Hello. Stop It.#sleep well... i feel......... uve ruined me forever.......... <- least tortured 16 year old dealing w a disastrous first relationship#17 year old in A WEEK. WHO CHEERED#but yeah oh woah i hope the shadow man fucking kills me in my sleep tonight this SUCKS. just like so bad#the first time ive listened to this song i . like. mhh#so like this is how you spell hahaha ive destroyed the hopes and dreams of a generation of faux-romantics Fucked Me Up#for a solid month i just felt like dogshit about like the Everything about me#i really saw myself in the character of the woman in this and i Hated it. this song genuinely changed me a lot#for good i think. ive been trying to start reading again (its going. badly.) and i dont think id be doing this if it werent for this song#but still. it made me hate myself on like a brand new fucking level. shit was crazy. but i kept listening to it cause i loved it#now. heart swells/pacific daylight time i had to skip on my first (& only) listen of we are beautiful we are doomed#i got like 40 seconds into it and just realized that Oh Wow. I Cant Do This.#the Everything that ive been upset about these past few months was too fresh back then. and that song really like . Got It#tho like. ermm actually ☝️🤓 hes gonna be on eastern standard not pacific daylight#it was fun . it made me start shaking so hard like for realll#i dont think i really like. feel a lot? but when i do its . huge#anyway idk where im going w this. i like this band. they write good songs.#i have some on my reo playlist. next to not one but twooo frax songs cause we all need more hyperpop on our character playlists#voidcore.txt
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roz-ani · 11 months
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I hereby declare the 1995 "Pride and Prejudice" TV series to be the superior adaptation. Thank you. You are dismissed. Have a nice day ❤️
(rambling in the tags)
#yeah I'm writing this on impulse so buckle up#it goes without saying that tv series have the advantage when it comes the amount of plot covered and character exploration in general#but I don't understand the argument that the BBC pxp is emotionless? like... what happened to subtlety?#just because the characters don't yell at each other?#I would actually say that I didn’t feel that much engagement from the movie characters lol but tbh it's been a while since I saw the movie#not that the acting was poor although I remember not liking the movie Lizzy that much#OK THAT'S A DIFFERENT TOPIC#to be fair I like the lines like 'Most ardently' or 'You have bewitched me' because COME ON I'M JUST A ROMANTIC LOSER#and watching Bingley actually say 'hey I acted dumb I love you please forgive me' felt great#but I think the 1995 version is overall better at portraying the social behaviour and rules of that time#the 2005 movie was visibly made for the modern audience and I suppose the american one as well#is that a bad thing? absolutely not#I find the last scene from the movie quite sweet but it did feel (for the lack of a better phrase at the moment) out of place#because we so suddenly jumped to this great expression of emotions and I was like 'cute I guess? good for them!'#I've watched the movie before the series (finished it yesterday) so it had a bit more emotional value since I didn’t know the story#but I still believe the 1995 holds up really well and I would have no problem rewatching it#I have a thing where I believe a filmed piece is well done when you're able to rewatch it (which I don't do often in the first place)#would I rewatch the 2005 version? I suppose but I don't think I would enjoy it as much#I still have to read the book as well#I've only read som excerpts so far#it's worse for me cuz I feel like I have to read it in both English and Polish for better understanding XD#already ordered the English one AND MAY I JUST SAY THAT FINDING ONE WITH A NICE COVER WHICH ALSO WON'T COST MY ENTIRE SAVINGS IS IMPOSSIBLE#god dammit why are aesthetics a thing#gotta look for the translation now#anyway I think that's it#if anyone ever reads it XDDD#thank you for coming to my ted talk#pride and prejudice#mine
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eggmeralda · 11 months
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I may not be that squeamish about most things but there's something about earlobes that can make me weirdly dizzy
#specifically my own. haven't thought about other people's tbh#but like that time a few weeks ago when i thought my earlobes had finally healed so i took the earrings out and put some different ones in#and then i slept without any earrings for the first time and the next morning they'd closed again (only on the very outside)#so i was trying to put my old earrings back in and while i was doing it i suddenly went really dizzy and had to like#sit on the sofa but there was a lot of gravity pulling me there#and then i had to go and lie on the bathroom floor bc i felt nauseous as well#and like i've never had that with anything before?#i managed to put the earrings in in the end and i'm not taking them out until it's been at least a year since they got pierced#but anyway yesterday morning my right earlobe (the bane of my life) decided to go all Weird again#it's happened before where it gets into a state and the slightest knock will make it bleed but usually it's not really painful#anyway yesterday morning it was painful and it was bleeding for longer#and now i've been awake for like the past 30 minutes since 1.11am bc the earlobe must've gotten hit and is being dramatic once again#oh and never forget the first time i got them pierced february 2020 when the left earlobe tried to scran the entire earring#and i had to go to a&e and get laughing gas to take it out. which was pretty fun tbf#but only the laughing gas. the rest of the general experience leading up to it was not fun bc i'm a massive hypochondriac and was#convinced i had sepsis#anyway i'm realising I've never had a good relationship with my earlobes. maybe this is them now getting revenge for#whatever happened in 2020. or maybe they just don't like me#maybe they heard me when i was younger say that i never want a tattoo or piercing and they're weren't prepared for the decision change#or maybe they know the kind of fashion crimes i plan to wear in my ears once they heal and they're trying to deter me#either way. stop#i wanna go back to sleep#ramble
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roylustang · 11 months
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I legitimately feel super acclimated to the heat now. I ran-walked 15 miles yesterday when it was 104-106F / 40-41C and I didn’t even die. No one likes global warming but at least I’m ready for it. I do this not only to get better at running but to honestly survive the oncoming apocalypse. I will survive global warming.
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maniculum · 9 months
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Medieval Scorpions Effortpost
So yesterday I reblogged this post featuring an 11th-century depiction of the Apocalypse Locusts from Revelations, noting the following incongruity as another medieval scorpion issue:
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The artist, as you can see, has interpreted "tails like scorpions" as meaning "glue cheerful-looking snakes to their butts".
Anyway, it occurred to me that the medieval scorpion thing might not be as widely known as I think it is, and that Tumblr would probably enjoy knowing about it if it isn't known already. So, finding myself unable to focus on the research I'm supposed to be doing, I decided to write about this instead. I'll just go ahead and put a cut here.
As we can see in the image above, at least one artist out there thought a "scorpion" was a type of snake. Which makes it difficult to draw "tails like scorpions", because a snake's tail is not that distinctive or menacing (maybe rattlesnakes, but they don't have those outside the Americas). So they interpreted "tails like scorpions" as "the tail looks like a whole snake complete with head".
Let me tell you. This is not a problem unique to this illustration.
See, people throughout medieval Europe were aware of scorpions. As just alluded to, they are mentioned in the Bible, and if the people producing manuscripts in medieval Europe knew one thing, it was Stuff In Bible. They're also in the Zodiac, which medieval Europe had inherited through classical sources. However, let's take a look at this map:
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That's Wikipedia's map of the native range of the Scorpiones order, i.e., all scorpion species. You may notice something -- the range just stops at a certain northern latitude. Pretty much all of northern Europe is scorpion-free. If you lived in the north half of Europe, odds were good you had never seen a scorpion in your life. But if you were literate or educated at all, or you knew they were a thing, because you'd almost certainly run across them being mentioned in texts from farther south. And those texts wouldn't bother to explain what a scorpion was, of course -- everyone knows scorpions, right? When was the last time you stopped to explain What Is Spiders?
So medieval writers and artists in northern Europe were kind of stuck. There was all this scorpion imagery and metaphor in the texts they liked to work from, but they didn't really know what a scorpion was. Writers could kind of work around it (there's a lot of "oh, it's a venomous creature, moving on"), but sometimes they felt the need to break it down better. For this, of course, they'd have to refer to a bestiary -- but due to Bestiary Telephone and the persistent need of bestiary authors to turn animals into allegories, one of the only visual details you got on scorpions was that they... had a beautiful face, which they used to distract people in order to sting them.
And look. I'm not here to yuck anyone's yum, but I would say that a scorpion's face has significant aesthetic appeal only for a fairly small segment of the population. I'm sure you could get an entomologist to rhapsodize about it a bit, but your average person on the street will not be entranced by the face of a scorpion. So this did not help the medieval Europeans in figuring out how to depict scorpions. There was also some semantic confusion -- see, in some languages (such as Old and Middle English), "worm" could be a general term for very small animals of any kind. But it also could mean "serpent".* So there were some, like our artist at the top of the post, who were pretty sure a scorpion was a snake. This was probably helped along by the fact that "venomous" was one of the only things everyone knew about them, and hey, snakes are venomous. Also, Pliny the Elder had floated the idea that there were scorpions in Africa that could fly, and at least one author (13th-century monk Bartholomaeus Anglicus) therefore suggested that they had feathers. I don't see that last one coming up much, I just share it because it's funny to me.
*English eventually resolved this by borrowing the Latin vermin for very small animals, using the specialized spelling wyrm for big impressive mythical-type serpents, and sticking with the more specific snake for normal serpents.
Some authors, like the anonymous author of the Ancrene Wisse, therefore suggested that a scorpion was a snake with a woman's face and a stinging tail. (Everyone seemed to be on the same page with regards to the fact that the sting was in the tail, which is in fact probably the most recognizable aspect of scorpions, so good job there.) However, while authors could avoid this problem, visual artists could not. And if you were illustrating a bestiary or a calendar, including a scorpion was not optional. So they had to take a shot at what this thing looked like.
And so, after this way-too-long explanation, the thing you're probably here for: inaccurate medieval drawings of scorpions. (There are of course accurate medieval drawings of scorpions, from artists who lived in the southern part of Europe and/or visited places where scorpions lived; I'm just not showing you those.) And if you find yourself wondering, "how sure are you that that's meant to be a scorpion?" -- all of these are either from bestiaries or from calendars that include zodiac illustrations.
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11th-century England, MS Arundel 60. (Be honest, without the rest of this post, if I had asked you to guess what animal this was supposed to be, would you have ever guessed “scorpion”?)
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12th-century Germany, "Psalter of Henry the Lion". (Looks a bit undercooked. Kind of fetal.)
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12th-century France, Peter Lombard's Sententiae. (Very colorful, itsy bitsy claws, what is happening with that tail?)
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12th-century England, "The Shaftesbury Psalter". (So a scorpion is some sort of wyvern with a face like a duck, correct?)
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13th-century France, Thomas de Cantimpré's Liber de natura rerum. (I’d give them credit for the silhouette not being that far off, but there’s a certain bestiary style where all the animals kind of look like that. Also note how few of these have claws.)
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13th-century England, "The Bodley Bestiary". (Mischievous flying squirrel impales local man’s hand, local man fails to notice.)
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13th-century England, Harley MS 3244. (A scorpion is definitely either a mouse or a fish. Either way it has six legs.)
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13th-century England, Harley MS 3244. (Wait, no, it’s a baby theropod, and it has two legs. (Yes, this is the same manuscript, that’s not an error, this artist did four scorpions and no two are the same.))
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13th-century England, Harley MS 3244. (Actually it’s a lizard with tiny ears and it has four legs.)
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13th-century England, Harley MS 3244. (Now that we’re at the big fancy illustration, I think I’ve got it — it’s like that last one, but two legs, longer ears, and a less goofy face. Also I’ve decided it’s not pink anymore, I think that was the main problem.)
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13th-century England, MS Kk.4.25. (A scorpion is a flat crocodile with a bear’s head.)
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13th-century England, "The Huth Psalter". (Wyvern but baby! Does not seem to be enjoying biting its own tail.)
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13th-century England, MS Royal 1 D X. (This triangular-headed gentlecreature gets the award for “closest guess at correct limb configuration”. If two of those were claws, I might actually believe this artist had seen a scorpion before, or at least a picture of one.)
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13th-century England, "The Westminster Psalter". (A scorpion is the offspring of a wyvern and a fawn.)
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13th-century England, "The Rutland Psalter". (Too many legs! Pull back! Pull back!)
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13th or 14th-century France, Bestiaire d'amour rimé. (This is very similar to the fawn-wyvern, but putting it in an actual Scene makes it even more obvious that you’re just guessing.)
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14th-century Netherlands, Jacob van Maerlant's Der Naturen Bloeme. (More top-down six-legged guys that look too furry to be arthropods.)
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14th-century Germany, MS Additional 22413. (That is clearly a turtle.)
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14th-century France, Matfres Eymengau de Beziers's Breviari d'amor. (Who came up with that head shape and what was their deal?)
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15th-century England, "Bestiary of Ann Walsh". (Screw it, a scorpion is a big lizard that glares at you for trying to make me draw things I don’t know about.)
I've spent way too much time on this now. End of post, thank you to anyone who got all the way down here.
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