#i just have a lot of feelings after a crash nap ok

[pikahlua]

I just need everyone to understand the reason I know Izuku's self-sacrificial traits are not condemned by the MHA narrative is BECAUSE Katsuki admires them. Katsuki is NOT slowly coming to fear Izuku's self-sacrificial nature over the course of the story and growing protective of him for it; Katsuki's coming to the realization that those self-sacrificial traits are what he was always awed by and afraid of. It's the way Izuku is--and that's what Katsuki wants to be like.

That's why he felt like he lost at the sports festival, because Izuku's self-sacrificial nature achieved the most heroic outcome (Izuku sacrifices his pride and the advancement of his hero dream to make Shouto into a better hero than he ever would've been if Izuku had not saved him), and Katsuki could not match that AND HE KNOWS IT.

That's also why he saves Izuku in the Paranormal Liberation War, because he recognizes what an amazing hero Izuku can become and in the process learns to express that same self-sacrificial trait he never knew he had. He's protective of Izuku's dream, the ideal Izuku represents. The whole "One For All may be a cursed power, but--" line was probably meant to end with "but it's his power, it's allowing him to be a hero, it's allowing him to have his dream." IT'S AN EXPRESSION OF HIS ADMIRATION OF IZUKU'S HEROISM AND HIS DESIRE TO KEEP IT ALIVE.

I just need everyone to knowwww.

[bluewhitehues]

"An I love you card."

(Yes another HUG series drabble, sue me for missing them. They are my home😭)

Idol Kim Mingyu× F.reader

Genre/tags :fluff,comfort,Established relationship.

Summary: Reader just misses her lover so much. + mingyu buys an apartment so that he can finally ask you to live together with him.

(My brain isn't functioning a lot lately so idk about the summary,just read the fic you will understand, ok bye cuties🏃‍♀️‍➡️😭)

Masterlist

~

You: Lover...I'm breaking up with you if you don't come and give me my hugs till tonight.

Gyu❤️: Baby hello to you too and wtf you scared the shit out of me why'd you start your text like that😭..I'm coming okay wait for me

You: you better if you want me in your life👍🏻

Gyu❤️: stop scaring me ...don't you love me anymore? 🥺🥺

You: WHY ELSE DO YOU THINK IM DYING TO SEE YOU IF I DIDN'T LOVE YOU

Gyu❤️: OKAY OKAY MY BAD BABY I GOT IT IM COMING I MISS YOU SO MUCH TOO

You: yeah and on a serious note love I'm not trying to make you feel bad about this I understand that you have work ..it's just I want to see you and hold you ..I miss you 🥺🤐

Gyu❤️: I Know love I know ..do you need something to eat should I get you something?

You: You.. I'm gonna eat your cheeks and lips off

Gyu❤️: oh god babe you've lost it ..is this what the lack of me does to you?

You: It does..it's a serious issue you dont understand

Gyu❤️: okay sweets gotta go I'll be there till 9-10pm may be ..rest till then ok?bye love you mwahhhh

You: yes can't wait to see you love you too❤️

Currently it's 5PM of your day off and you're about to cry because you miss your lover. Honestly it hasn't been that long since you met him. You saw each other nearly 24 hours back. But those meetings has been like just some fleeting moments. And you can't help but miss him from deep within. Your week has been exhausting too and he cures literally everything for you.

It's still 4-5 hours till you can see him. You're not even sleepy anymore you already took a nap. So you just decide to do some self care. You put a sheet mask on your face. (And make a silly face with a pout for the selfie and send it to mingyu. Like Ofcourse.) You even do your nails. Then you get a silly idea to make a greeting card for him with a letter may be. You excitedly take a white paper and few colours, pencils,pens everything.

You draw a cute panda holding a heart. And write 'An I love you card' below it.

And put a cute letter inside it.

After that you eat dinner and wait for him.

You hear the keys rustling and know it's him. You've already done a lot of waiting so you go almost running to the door, your heart beating fast. He comes inside locking the door, when he turns around you're there already running to him, crashing into his arms. He let's out a surprised chuckle wrapping his arms around you.

"Hey there, looks like you missed me a little too much huh" He said closing his eyes feeling you in his arms, your warmth invading his chest and to whole body and his to yours. That's the most beautiful feeling and the very reason why you crave it so much.

You hum in the hug, clutching him tightly.

"I did and I'm not going to let you go now."

Then you look up and he sees your face and eyes, it looks like you're about to cry. Eyes teary while looking up at him and a small pout. He coos at you, instantly holding your face in his hands. "Aww my baby, what happened I'm here now aren't I hmm" He says wiping the corners of your eyes.

You lean into his touch. "I don't know..you made me cry." You pout harder and he leans down to peck your pout. Once, twice. "Don't say that.. what did I do?" He asks pouting back.

You look everywhere moving your eyes as if thinking of something to say. "You were just saying anything,weren't you?" He giggles now that he has figured you out. Squishing your face in adoration. His eyes crinkling as he smiles wide.

You nod,letting out a laugh. "Yeah you know me."

"Mhm thought so." He says then picking you up. He walks to the couch in living room,flopping down on it with you in his lap.

"You sure everything's ok baby?" He asks kissing your head.

"Yeah just...missed you so much." You whisper in his neck,where your face is buried. He rubs your back soothingly. You pull back from the hug to look at him.

"Did you eat?" You ask tracing his face with your fingers. "Mhm I did with the guys." He says sighing into your touch. Placing his forehead on your shoulder. You caress his hair, hugging him tighter and kissing his temple, then ear and then neck. He tilts his head towards your neck and places sweet pecks on your neck too. You pull back making him look up at you, you put your forehead on his saying "kiss me."

And he smiles, complying to you without wasting a single second. He kisses you and you feel home again. He squeezes you to himself hugging you tighter so you know he missed you just as much. You share a few sweet kisses and then pull back.

"You know how bored I was ...I spent the whole day alone." You tell him.

"I wish I had a day off too baby, I'd have loved to spend my whole day with you." He says pouting a little, tucking your hair strand behind your ear.

"It's okay you're here now" You say giving him a smile and a peck at his nose. He scrunches it cutely with a chuckle.

" Oh wait !! I've something for you." You say suddenly remembering something. Your eyes a little wide with excitement. You get up so fast from his lap. You pick up the card from table and hand it over to him.

He takes it, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion but a smile on his face.

"An I love you card" He reads and looks up to you with a bright smile. "Oh my god babe you're so fucking cuteeee ahh" he says laughing while pulling you closer by your waist,so you're standing in front of him.

"You've to open it " You let out a giggle urging him to open it.

'There are so many shitty people in the world but I Met you..I have you..how did I get you? You're so lovable you know? And I love you for who you are. So kind,loving,caring. You keep calling me angel but you are the real angel. Thank you for coming into my life. I love you so much. I'm writing this because you need to know this and also because I fucking miss you right now. Ok bye don't make fun of me after this.' ~only yours,y/n.

You see all of his expressions with each word,with each line he reads, he melts a little more. h

He tries to control his smile. He looks up at you with tearful eyes. Grabbing your hand he pulls you closer. "How are you so cute baby." He sighs caressing your hands, "How did you get me you say..?.. But how did I get you?" "You're so precious you know that ? It's not even my birthday or anything special, it's just a random day and you're here making me feel so loved." He's looking up at you with so much love in his eyes with a sweet grin on his face, which you love so much.

You chuckle combing your fingers through his slightly long hair. "Baby, it's just me saying I love you in a silly way,it's nothing special.it's just a card."

"Well it is special to me." He says pulling you on his lap again. "And I'm going to cherish it forever, I'll keep it safe with me...thank you." "And I love you too by the way." He says grinning wide,giving you a peck on the lips.

"And I was going to do something special to tell you this or may be I should have asked you before doing this but.." He sighs.." I don't know I just love you so much and I want you to know, I want you with me always. So.." He takes a breath to prepare himself. He fishes out keys from his pocket. "I've been carrying these around since a week." He chuckles nervously, while your heart is beating fast.

"I know I should have probably asked you before doing this, but I just ..I wanted to do it for us ...so ..I bought an apartment for us . It's registered under both of our names."

You gasp "gyuu-" your eyes wide.

"I-I know baby ..it's a big step but ...will you move in with me baby?" He asks finally. "You know that I want a future with you right? For me You're my one and only." He says clutching your hands in his.

You finally let out a sob mixed with a watery laugh. Nodding furiously you say "You're my one and only too gyu. Shit I didn't know you'd do something like this ..but I've thought about this almost daily, when I want you to hold me to sleep. When I want to see you as soon as I open my eyes in the morning. Fuck you don't know how much I miss you when we can't meet or whenever I have to sleep alone." You sniffle and he's wiping your tears, nodding along with whatever you're saying.

"It's a little scary but I trust you with my whole life, so yes I'd very much love to move in with you."

His puppy eyes slowly get bigger in size as he gets happy "Really? Oh my god...I love youuu" He says getting up with you, spinning you.

"Oh my god you're going to make us fall..slow down." You laugh as his giggles fill the room. He stops putting you down on the ground.

"Is tomorrow ok with you? I want to show you the place first then we can decide the rest." He asks. "Yes." You say becoming a blushing mess making him coo at you.

a/n: idk if this is any good but i wrote this in June, finally finished it. Also im sorry for making you wait for 'I hate you not' series.it's also halfway done but it'll take a lot of time for me to actually post it. I'm more into reading than writing these days so please feel free to suggest me some good fics. Thank you for reading this. Hope y'all are having a nice day 🥹🫶

[soft-mafia]

Take Me With You [Buggy x Reader] [Part 2]

warnings: fem reader, oc insert, age gap(reader is 19), smut, oral(fem receiving), cream pie

a/n: here’s part 2!! Hope you guys enjoy I made this one a little extra spicy🤭 I listened to Norman Fucking Rockwell while writing this is that means anything to you guys.

part 1

Once Buggy had hauled Y/n onto his ship, his crew began to gawk at her, thinking that their captain had taken something for himself while he was away.

Y/n felt the eyes on her, feeling a lot of the men eying her up.

Buggy rolled his eyes and put his hand on top of Y/n’s head, “Ok, ok everybody shut up!” Buggy shouted, “Here’s how this is gonna go, if I see any of you touching her, looking at her, or speaking to her, you’re getting thrown overboard. Does that sound good?” His crew had become even more silent, and Y/n could feel the lustful stares leaving her body, which gave her some relief.

“Ok. Great, everybody get back to work and let’s get out of this damn place.” Buggy sighed and grabbed Y/n’s forearm, dragging her in the direction of his quarters.

“Wait so I’m not allowed to talk to anybody on your crew?!” Y/n huffed at Buggy, expecting him to be protective but not overprotective. “Listen cupcake, you don’t know my crew, if those guys talk to you it’s safe to assume they’d wanna get in your pants.” He replied, shoving her into his room and closing the door behind himself, “Maybe after a while once they get used to seeing you, but not now.”

Y/n nearly toppled over due to how roughly he shoved her, but she quickly regained balance and looked around his room.

It wasn’t exactly how she pictured it would look like in her head.. it was, messy. Not a collected, organized mess, but literally messy.

She noted the empty and half empty bottles of booze on one of the tables, that probably been there for who knows how long. The bed wasn’t made, tins of grease paint scattered over a vanity along with dirty makeup brushes. She walked over to it, picking up one of the brushes, “You really need to clean these.”

Buggy walked over to her and took it out of her hand, setting it back where it was, “It’s fine, it’s just face paint.”

“Yeah, but like- bacteria build up.”

Buggy ignored her, jerking his coat off and then pulling his bandana off, letting his long blue hair fall gracefully down his back. He sighed as he raked his fingers through his scalp. Y/n couldn’t help but watch him— the way his muscles moved, his long hair that she actually never seen before until now. How did he get it all tucked in that bandana?

She set her backpack filled with all of her stuff down on his vanity chair, thankfully her bag was big enough to fit all of her clothes and other shit she got from the Going Merry.

“Ok princess, it’s been a while since I had a good nap, so I’m gonna crash for a while.. uh, don’t leave the room. Just.. I dunno keep yourself entertained.” Buggy grumbled, beginning to take his vest off; he didn’t know if he should strip completely down to his underwear like he usually did since Y/n was here.. so he decided to just keep his pants on.

“What- you’re just gonna sleep?” Y/n scoffed and crossed her arms.

Buggy looked at her as he tossed his vest to the ground, “Yeah, my head was in a— wet, sandy bag for the past few days, I think I deserve a nap.” He huffed, “You should’ve brought stuff to keep you busy, it’s not like I have any coloring books or fucking.. dolls or anything.”

“I did bring stuff, I brought all of my stuff.” Y/n said as she looked through her bag.

“Damn, you were prepared huh?” Buggy said as he walked over to her, looking down into her bag; he got interested upon seeing a sliver of what looked to be a a lacy bra.. but he didn’t bring it up.

He looked at Y/n, his eyes slowly drifting down to her cleavage, “What were you gonna do if I said no? You would’ve packed all this shit for nothing.” He began to imagine a sad looking Y/n, back on that straw hat’s ship putting all of her stuff back where it was if Buggy rejected her..

“I would’ve just begged you until you said yes.” Y/n looked up at Buggy, god he was so handsome with his hair down, the way he looked down at her with those gorgeous eyes were making her swoon all over again.

She could look at him and admire him all day if she could.

Buggy however, didn’t want her looking at him for more than 2 seconds, he slowly turned his gaze away once his eyes met hers; Buggy knew if she looked at him for longer than that, seeing all of his flaws, ragged stubble, his damn nose. He knew whatever little “fantasy” she had of him would quickly fade upon seeing how repulsive and hideous he was. He already felt a bit uneasy being shirtless, seeing her look at his hairy chest; did she not like what she saw?! I mean she was the one who decided to run off with a grown ass man she should know what a man’s body looks like, why was she staring so much?!

Why couldn’t she be happy with that blonde waiter boy? Or that fit looking swordsman? Or that kid making the bomb.. whatever that kid’s name was.

Why him of all people? A bitter, hideous clown with an equally hideous nose.

“Begged me? Am I that worth it, hot stuff?” Buggy scoffed and laughed before going over to his bed and flopping down, sighing as he rested his arms behind his head.

“I think you’re more than worth it.” Y/n giggled and walked over to sit beside his laying body, looking down at his abs, her eyes drifted towards his happy trail. Having his body here was much better than just having his head. There was so much more to look at and admire she felt like she was about to explode. She laid down beside of Buggy, snuggling into his side.

Y/n brushed some strands of his hair away so she could rest her head on his chest. Buggy’s eyes widened a little bit, “You gonna sleep with me?” He chuckled, then mentally cringed at the phrasing he used.

“I mean there’s nothing else to do.. you don’t want your crew flirting with me so I can’t really leave.” She giggled, then traced Buggy’s collar bone with the tip of her finger, she then noticed his necklace; it wasn’t anything fancy but it looked like a silver coin, “Where’d you get this from?” Y/n asked with curiosity, gently holding the silver pendent between her fingers.

“I saw it on some old geezer one day and thought it looked flashy.” Buggy looked down at Y/n, eyeing her up once more; not with lust but genuinely trying to examine her. This was.. way too suspicious for him. Why was this attractive, young woman clinging onto him? She wanted to beg to come with him, she said she felt safe with him.

This couldn’t just be due to the fact he was a bit of a sweet talker while she took care of his severed head. Y/n had to have an ulterior motive.. this had to be some kind of.. scheme!

A scheme from that damn straw hat!! They wanted to use one of the pretty girls on their crew to catch him off guard? Give him a false sense of security? Yeah right. Buggy wasn’t going to be so trusting with this girl.

Y/n let go of the necklace and rested her arm over his chest, her eyes moved up towards the window, watching the bright blue sky and the clouds. She looked like a puppy, like a small, helpless animal. There was no way this wasn’t a trap of some sort.

Buggy furrowed his brows and sat up suddenly, making Y/n sit up as well, “Ok, enough with the damn puppy dog eyes.. what the fuck are you playing at here?!” Buggy growled, grabbing Y/n’s neck, holding under her jaw.

“What the hell are you talking about?!” Y/n gasped slightly, looking up at Buggy with wide eyes.

“You can’t possibly be serious?!” Buggy huffed, “Why did you come here? I had every intention to kill you and the rest of those kids, and now you’re just.. rubbing up on me and looking at me with those damn eyes— STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT, GAH!!” Buggy growled and pulled away, standing up from the bed. He put his hands over his face.

Those puppy dog eyes, they’re really going to kill him.

“You’re planning something. You and Shanks’ kid, you guys are trying to punk me, aren’t you?” Buggy looked back at Y/n, rage in his eyes.

Y/n felt a shiver go down her spine, she shook her head, “N-No?? Who’s Shanks? I’m not planning anything, I don’t even know what you’re talking about!”

Buggy stared at Y/n for another moment, glaring angrily, examining her but he just couldn’t understand why.

“I mean, yeah you were going to kill me but.. I thought that, when we spent time together and I took care of you, we kind of..” Y/n looked down, trying to find the right words to say, “Forgot about all of that, I guess.”

“I don’t get it.” Buggy looked away, shaking his head, he put a hand over his eyes before grumbling and looking back at her, “It doesn’t make sense, why me? I’m old enough to be your father!! And I’m not that easy on the eyes-”

“What are you talking about?! You’re gorgeous!” Y/n interrupted, taking Buggy off guard, “You’re the handsomest guy I’ve ever seen!”

“And promised you’d take care of me.” Y/n whispered, looking down at her lap. Buggy’s eyes widened slightly.

Y/n had Buggy’s head sitting on her shelf while she got changed out of his view. “-I mean, what makes a pretty girl like you want to be a pirate.”

Occasionally Buggy would turn around to get a peek; quickly turning away when Y/n would check to see if he was looking, “Because trust me sweetheart, it’s not that glamorous.”

“It’s not the whole pirate thing I’m thrilled about,” Y/n said, finally changed into her sleeping clothes which was just a silk tank top and black micro shorts, “I just wanna go out and see the world.” She fixed her hair in the mirror, making sure it was ok for her to sleep on it.

Buggy couldn’t help but roll his eyes, but it was more of a playful eye roll. As generic as that sounded, and as much as he wanted to be bored.. there was a charm to this little girl. It was also cute how she pranced around, prettifying herself for sleep of all things.

“You know how many people say that but then chicken out once they get out on sea? I got kids wanting to run off and join the circus thinking it’s all sea shanties and shit, but then panic and throw themselves overboard after one rogue wave.” Buggy laughed, it was morbid but.. a guy like him found it hilarious.

“Well, I’m not a kid.” Y/n turned around to look at Buggy, her hands on her hips, “And I’m not afraid of waves, I can take care of myself just fine.”

Buggy eyed Y/n up and down, smirking a bit, “Oh yeah? I can take care of you even better, cupcake.” He grinned, telling himself he was just buttering her up, but damn if he had his body he’d probably already plowed her by now. Y/n’s eyes widened, noticeably getting flustered over his shift in tone; it was deep, gruff, the way he looked at her wasn’t helping either.

“If you want.. you can put me between your legs and we can have some fun.” Buggy snickered, “I know I’m just a head but my mouth can work wonders, baby.”

Buggy sucked in an inhale, then smacked his lips together as he looked so the side, “I did say that didn’t I..” his teeth clenched before he looked back at her, “I mean I didn’t promise it, but I did say that.”

“Well I took it as a promise.” Y/n huffed, looking off to the side with a pout.

“Just because you took something as a promise, doesn’t mean it’s a promise, sweetheart. You’re gonna get your heart broken if you keep doing that.” Buggy sighed and walked back over to her, standing at the edge of the bed in front of her.

There was a good silence before Y/n spoke up again.

“So.. everything you said back there, was a lie?” Y/n whispered. Buggy sighed and held the side of her face, then turned it so she could look up at him, “I mean, not all of it.” He said, in that same deep, rough voice that drove her wild.

“You’re really a pretty girl Y/n. You shouldn’t be with someone like me. I don’t know why you want to, but the fact that I got you so whipped over me because of one interaction is kind of weird.”

“You were literally talking about how you wanted to fuck me!! What did you expect?!” Y/n frowned at him.

“Ok look, the first couple of times I was just trying to tick you off!! It’s not like I planned to have you falling for me.” It was the truth, as soon as Sanji handed his head off to Y/n, he knew he could take advantage of the situation. Saying creepy shit to the pretty girl on the crew, making her uncomfortable.. he never expected her to imprint on him like a fucking duckling.

Maybe he did a bit too much when Y/n accepted those advances but.. she was cute and it turned him on, he couldn’t help himself.

“Then you should know better than to flirt with people!” Y/n crossed her arms.

Buggy rolled his head back as he rolled his eyes, he groaned before looking back down at her, “Alright, alright, I’m sorry.” He said, albeit in a sort of mocking tone, but he was sorry, “Anything I can do to make it up to you?”

Y/n looked down, eyeing at Buggy’s belt area for a moment before looking back up at him, “Um..” she felt heat rise to her cheeks; back on the boat she did think about putting Buggy’s head between her legs.. but she was way too nervous too. Even now that the man had his body, it made her even more nervous.

“Hm?” Buggy hummed quietly, his thumb rubbing back and forth gently across her cheek. He knew she wanted something.. he wanted her to spit it out.

“I can take you up on that offer.. putting your head between my legs.” Y/n looked down, her thighs pressing together as she spoke quietly, like she was embarrassed to say those words— which she was. Embarrassed and so nervous.

Buggy smirked widely, he rubbed Y/n’s cheek before patting it gently, “You want that? Alright. Lay down, princess.”

Y/n was laying flat on the bed now, Buggy loomed over her, he tilted his head and pressed his lips against hers, kissing her, sucking on her top lip before moving down, his hands traveling down with him until he got between her legs. He pulled off her shorts, then her panties and tossed them off the bed.

He spread her thighs wide, his large hands gripping them. Buggy admired Y/n’s pussy, how it was already dripping wet, those pretty little folds and that nice clit.. his boner pressed into his pants and made him groan under his breath.

Buggy leaned down, his nose pressed to her clit as he reached his tongue out and began to lick long stripes into her pussy. Y/n shivered, legs trembling which made Buggy’s grip on them tighten.

Y/n turned her head to the side to bury them into the pillows, muffling her moans and whimpers into them. Buggy grunted softly and moved his hand up to jerk Y/n’s face away from the pillows, “Let me hear you, baby.” Buggy grumbled into her pussy, moving his lips upward to suck and lap at her clit. Y/n trembled, whimpering and moaning loudly as Buggy held her face right up.

Buggy’s hands slowly slid to Y/n’s sides, thumbs gently placed under her breasts as he sucked on her pussy. Damn this was good. Truth be told he hadn’t gotten any action since he was.. I don’t know, 21? And it was only one time on his birthday with a drunk hooker.. he barely even remembered it, he was too busy being a captain now to even focus on sex, just jacking himself off into a rag whenever he needed that kind of relief.

He began to feel more grateful for having Y/n here now, he wouldn’t have to waste hand towels anymore when he could just shoot his load into her.

The thought of Y/n being his personal fuck doll made him harder, he was practically humping his boxers at this point, her pussy tasted amazing; the perfect combo of sweet and salty, nice and juicy like he wanted it.

He squeezed her sides lightly and made Y/n let out a loud mewl. Buggy groaned and grunted as he humped the blankets while sucking her pussy. “A-Aaahh~!! Aahh!” Y/n threw her head back, her pussy clenched and fluttered, she never realized how sensitive she was until Buggy started eating her out. She was trembling all over, already about to cum.

Buggy was groaning and huffing like a dog into her pussy, licking up all of her juices, sucking on her clit. He growled deeply, wanting to pound her into his mattress until the ship sank.

Y/n let out a loud yelp and came hard on Buggy’s tongue, squirting a bit and getting her juices on him. “A-Ahh~ s-sorry..” Y/n looked down at Buggy, seeing the lower half of his face was soaking wet, dripping off of his stubble.

He wiped it off with his hand after licking some off of his lips before chuckling, “What are you sorry for, sweetheart?” He smirked, sitting up on his knees and nestling himself between her legs, beginning to unbuckle his belt.

Y/n blinked slightly, “What are you doing? I already came..” She asked breathlessly. “Yeah? Well I haven’t even gotten my dick wet, sweetheart.” Buggy mumbled, his words made Y/n’s belly tingle with that aroused feeling again, “So just lay back and let daddy take care of you.” He winked at her before freeing his dick from his pants. Y/n eyes widened slightly as she looked down at it, it was huge; bigger than expected. Oh god.. “Is that gonna fit?”

Buggy paused for a moment, looking at Y/n before laughing loudly, gently slapping her inner thigh as he laughed, “Of course it’s gonna fit. Aww, that’s cute.” Buggy chuckled, breathing out before slapping his cock against her wet pussy, “And if it doesn’t, I’ll make it fit.” His voice went deep and husky again, the sudden change of tone made Y/n shiver in arousal.

Buggy groaned deeply when he pushed his cock deep into Y/n. Her back arched as she let out a loud yelp; it was so huge, he was filling her up so well, stretching her out, tip kissing her cervix. “Mmmm-!!” Y/n whimpered, her hips trembled. Buggy let out another groan and rocked his hips back and forth, holding Y/n’s legs up as he did so, “That’s a good girl, see? Fits like a glove.” Buggy laughed through a grunt, his voice gravelly as he began to thrust.

She was so tight, damn it felt good cramming his dick in there. Buggy’s abs clenched as he plowed into her, making the bed creak underneath them. Y/n was moaning so loudly; his crew could probably hear but that’s exactly what Buggy wanted. Just a little kink of his.

Y/n gripped the pillows beside her head and whined, twitching, whimpering and moaning. Buggy squeezed Y/n’s legs, “Yeah that’s it, let it all out, tell everyone who owns you.” Buggy growled, thrusting faster into her. Y/n looked up at Buggy; his body casted a shadow over hers from the light shining in from the window.

“B-Bugggyyy!!” Y/n moaned out, legs trembling in his grip as burning pleasure took over her body. “Don’t you dare cum yet, I just stuck my dick in you, you little shit.” Buggy growled, sending a mix of both fear and arousal through Y/n. His tone was so demanding and dominant— and he was so handsome looming over her, she was going nuts.

Y/n squirmed, trying to hold it in, but she was so sensitive and he was stretching her out so much. Buggy tilted his head back and thrusted rougher into her. “B-Buggy.. B-Buggy please..!”

“Wait.” Buggy growled, looking down at Y/n’s tits, the way they bounced as he fucked her; she was probably the hottest girl he’d ever seen. “You wanted this cock, baby.. You were gonna beg me for this cock.” Buggy grunted, “Don’t be going ‘pleaseeee’ at me. Lay there and take my fucking dick like a good girl.”

Y/n moaned at his words, she was trembling all over, so close to spilling over and cumming. “Aa-Aahhh~!” She couldn’t hold it in anymore, she gasped loudly as she came around his cock, her pussy clenching and fluttering. The sudden tightness made Buggy hunch forward and groan deeply in pleasure.

He let out a guttural, primal sound as he plunged harder into her, “We’ll work on that.” Buggy huffed out, his words almost drowned out from the wet sounds of skin slapping skin and the loud squeaks coming from the bed.

It wasn’t long before Buggy was grunting louder, teeth bared and eyes screwed shut, every muscle in his body twitching as he came into Y/n, cumming deep inside of her pussy and filling her up. Y/n was whimpering, moaning and panting heavily, she could barely keep her eyes open.

Buggy groaned and flipped his long hair to the side to keep it from falling over his face. He breathed heavily, his chest rising and falling with every breath. “Fuck..” he groaned and pulled out, watching his cum leak from her pussy, he glanced at Y/n, spreading her thighs a bit, “You ok?” He asked breathlessly.

Y/n looked up at Buggy and nodded, “Mhm..”

Buggy smirked and gently patted her thigh, “Good girl.” He flopped down on the bed beside of her, sighing heavily, “Right.. about that nap.” He sighed, then turned over with his back facing Y/n. He was exhausted to say the least.

Y/n whined and wrapped her arm around him, “You’re not gonna at least cuddle with me?! This is horrible aftercare!!”

“Jeez alright!!” Buggy chuckled and turned to face Y/n, suddenly encasing her in his strong arms, holding her close to his chest and pressing his lips against the top of her head, giving her kissing and lightly scratching her with his stubble. “Are you gonna be this needy when you’re with me?” Buggy joked.

Y/n snuggled against Buggy’s hairy chest, her arm still wrapped around him as his scent invaded her nose, “Mmm, maybe.” She giggled up at him, “If you don’t take care of me like you promised.”

[ninadove]

Nina reads Dracula 🦇

September 17th

OK HERE WE GO I AM MENTALLY PREPARED TO LEARN ABOUT LUCY’S DEA —

Lucy Westenra's Diary.

Nevermind that. Guess I’ll have to do it all over again.

Four days and nights of peace. I am getting so strong again that I hardly know myself. It is as if I had passed through some long nightmare, and had just awakened to see the beautiful sunshine and feel the fresh air of the morning around me. I have a dim half-remembrance of long, anxious times of waiting and fearing; darkness in which there was not even the pain of hope to make present distress more poignant: and then long spells of oblivion, and the rising back to life as a diver coming up through a great press of water.

The pain of hope alright…

To-night Dr. Van Helsing is going away, as he has to be for a day in Amsterdam. But I need not be watched; I am well enough to be left alone.

‘Cause here we go, go, go again 🎶

Thank God for mother's sake, and dear Arthur's, and for all our friends who have been so kind! I shall not even feel the change, for last night Dr. Van Helsing slept in his chair a lot of the time. I found him asleep twice when I awoke; but I did not fear to go to sleep again, although the boughs or bats or something napped almost angrily against the window-panes.

EVERYONE. IS TRYING. SO HARD.

Anyways BACK TO RENFIELD:

Suddenly the door was burst open, and in rushed my patient, with his face distorted with passion. I was thunderstruck, for such a thing as a patient getting of his own accord into the Superintendent's study is almost unknown.

Right. But he did escape the facility itself twice, including once with your complicity. So maybe the safety protocols need a liiittle bit of reassessing here.

Without an instant's pause he made straight at me. He had a dinner-knife in his hand, and, as I saw he was dangerous, I tried to keep the table between us. He was too quick and too strong for me, however; for before I could get my balance he had struck at me and cut my left wrist rather severely.

FIGHT!!!!! FIGHT!!!!! FIGHT!!!!! FIGHT!!!!

He was lying on his belly on the floor licking up, like a dog, the blood which had fallen from my wounded wrist. He was easily secured, and, to my surprise, went with the attendants quite placidly, simply repeating over and over again: "The blood is the life! The blood is the life!"

Renfield’s DYI Guide to Vampirism: now available in a bookstore near you!

I cannot afford to lose blood just at present;

This is a terrifying and strangely sweet thought and I will be reusing this turn of phrase.

Happily Van Helsing has not summoned me, so I need not forego my sleep; to-night I could not well do without it.

Telegram, Van Helsing, Antwerp, to Seward, Carfax. Do not fail to be at Hillingham to-night.

Now that’s what I call comedic timing.

Anyways back to… Lucy again… Oh…

I write this and leave it to be seen, so that no one may by any chance get into trouble through me. This is an exact record of what took place to-night. I feel I am dying of weakness, and have barely strength to write, but it must be done if I die in the doing.

Talk about an emotional roller-coaster.

Presently the door opened, and mother looked in; seeing by my moving that I was not asleep, came in, and sat by me. She said to me even more sweetly and softly than her wont:—

"I was uneasy about you, darling, and came in to see that you were all right."

I feared she might catch cold sitting there, and asked her to come in and sleep with me, so she came into bed, and lay down beside me;

SEE WHAT I MEANT LAST TIME. Yes Ms Westenra is dying but she still wants to watch over her little girl! Yes Lucy is a grown adult but she still needs her mum! It’s all about love

After a while there was the low howl again out in the shrubbery, and shortly after there was a crash at the window, and a lot of broken glass was hurled on the floor. The window blind blew back with the wind that rushed in, and in the aperture of the broken panes there was the head of a great, gaunt grey wolf. Mother cried out in a fright, and struggled up into a sitting posture, and clutched wildly at anything that would help her. Amongst other things, she clutched the wreath of flowers that Dr. Van Helsing insisted on my wearing round my neck, and tore it away from me. For a second or two she sat up, pointing at the wolf, and there was a strange and horrible gurgling in her throat; then she fell over—as if struck with lightning, and her head hit my forehead and made me dizzy for a moment or two. The room and all round seemed to spin round. I kept my eyes fixed on the window, but the wolf drew his head back, and a whole myriad of little specks seemed to come blowing in through the broken window, and wheeling and circling round like the pillar of dust that travellers describe when there is a simoon in the desert.

OK OK not to (surprisingly) turn into your local Mrs Westenra Defender™ but. But. If this exact ordeal happened to you and you did not have the benefit of knowing the lore, would your natural conclusion not be that the flowers attracted the wolf? Because that sure as Hell would be mine.

I tried to stir, but there was some spell upon me, and dear mother's poor body, which seemed to grow cold already—for her dear heart had ceased to beat—weighed me down; and I remembered no more for a while.

WAIT SHE’S DEAD????? WHAT ARE WE BLAMING HER FOR EXACTLY????? SHE FUCKING DIED

The maids shrieked, and then went in a body to the dining-room; and I laid what flowers I had on my dear mother's breast. When they were there I remembered what Dr. Van Helsing had told me, but I didn't like to remove them, and, besides, I would have some of the servants to sit up with me now.

I WAS TOLD LUCY’S MUM THREW THE FLOWERS AWAY AND THAT DIRECTLY CAUSED HER DEATH. THAT COULD NOT BE FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH. WHAT HAPPENED

My heart sank when I saw what had happened. They all four lay helpless on the floor, breathing heavily. The decanter of sherry was on the table half full, but there was a queer, acrid smell about. I was suspicious, and examined the decanter. It smelt of laudanum, and looking on the sideboard, I found that the bottle which mother's doctor uses for her—oh! did use—was empty. What am I to do? what am I to do? I am back in the room with mother. I cannot leave her, and I am alone, save for the sleeping servants, whom some one has drugged. Alone with the dead! I dare not go out, for I can hear the low howl of the wolf through the broken window.

WHO WHAT AND HOW

The air seems full of specks, floating and circling in the draught from the window, and the lights burn blue and dim. What am I to do? God shield me from harm this night! I shall hide this paper in my breast, where they shall find it when they come to lay me out. My dear mother gone! It is time that I go too. Good-bye, dear Arthur, if I should not survive this night. God keep you, dear, and God help me!

LUCY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO —

Letter, Mina Harker to Lucy Westenra (Unopened by her.)

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

My dearest Lucy,—It seems an age since I heard from you, or indeed since I wrote. You will pardon me, I know, for all my faults when you have read all my budget of news.

Why don’t you twist the knife even deeper Bram.

Well, I got my husband back all right;

A little bit of light in this God-forsaken world

'My dears, I want to drink your health and prosperity; and may every blessing attend you both. I know you both from children, and have, with love and pride, seen you grow up. Now I want you to make your home here with me. I have left to me neither chick nor child; all are gone, and in my will I have left you everything.' I cried, Lucy dear, as Jonathan and the old man clasped hands. Our evening was a very, very happy one.

And twist the knife deeper he did.

So here we are, installed in this beautiful old house, and from both my bedroom and the drawing-room I can see the great elms of the cathedral close, with their great black stems standing out against the old yellow stone of the cathedral and I can hear the rooks overhead cawing and cawing and chattering and gossiping all day, after the manner of rooks—and humans.

Windows! Parallels and contrasts!! Something monstrous VS something divine and most of all human!!! I’m fine this is fine we’re all fine —

How is your dear mother getting on?

ALRIGHT BRAM THAT’S ENOUGH TWISTING.

and Jonathan wants looking after still.

🥺🥹 (<- Hanging on by a thread)

And now I have told you my news, let me ask yours. When are you to be married, and where, and who is to perform the ceremony, and what are you to wear, and is it to be a public or a private wedding? Tell me all about it, dear; tell me all about everything, for there is nothing which interests you which will not be dear to me. Jonathan asks me to send his 'respectful duty,' but I do not think that is good enough from the junior partner of the important firm Hawkins & Harker; and so, as you love me, and he loves me, and I love you with all the moods and tenses of the verb, I send you simply his 'love' instead. Good-bye, my dearest Lucy, and all blessings on you.

Yours,

MINA HARKER.

(Thread snapped)

< Prev 🦇 Next >

[sakuraspages]

sasusaku snippet #10

[Mermaid!Sakura AU - #5]

“Bad night?” Naruto asks. They are at the fish market. Naruto works for one of the merchants who owns the largest fishing boat in the port. He knows Sasuke well enough that he knows when he has not slept at all. After all, they have been through war together. “Nightmares again?”

Sasuke shakes his head. He isn’t sure how much he wants to tell Naruto. He is the worst at keeping secrets. “I… met someone on the beach,” he says slowly.

“Someone?”

“A girl.”

Naruto’s face lights up. “Oooh… is she hot?”

Hot is not exactly what he’d use to describe her. Mesmerizing. Ethereal. Otherworldly, maybe. “Yeah.”

“Did you get her number?”

“No.”

Naruto winces. “How are you gonna see her again then?”

“She’s… still at my place. Sleeping.”

Naruto grins and slaps him on the shoulder. “Holy shit man, you’re fast! Well done! What’s her name?”

How did he not even think about asking for her name? She asked for his and he didn’t even ask hers. His brain doesn’t work properly when he’s around her.

Naruto stares at him in astonishment. “Dude... You have a girl in your bed right now for the first time in what, years? And you don’t even know her name? What’s happening to you?” He chuckles.

“She was hurt, she needed a place to rest," Sasuke explains.

Naruto seems disappointed. “Oh… so you didn’t… you know?”

“No.”

Naruto sighs. “Is she ok at least?”

“I think so. She wants crab. What do you have?”

Sakura. Her name is Sakura. It’s now the only word that exists in his brain.

“What’s the plan now?” he asks as he watches her gobble down the whole tray of seafood that he brought her back from the market. She seems to feel much better after her little nap. It’s surprising how such a delicate creature can eat so savagely.

“The plan?” she asks with her mouth full.

“Do you need me to bring you back to the ocean?”

She shakes her head and puts oyster juice in her hair. “Can’t go back right now. I need to wait for my fin to heal. Plus I want to find out why I’m here.”

“You’re here because you washed up on the beach during the storm. It happens a lot to dolphins and orcas–”

“There has to be another reason," she says as she keeps eating. "I never get lost in the sea. I feel like something happened and made me come here.”

She breaks a crab claw with her bare hands and he makes a mental note that she’s not as fragile as she looks.

“The storm happened,” he says.

She shakes her head again. “Something called me here,” she says confidently.

“Do you need me to phone someone?”

She rolls her eyes. “I feel like I have something to do here before I go back.”

“So… You’re staying here?”

She licks her fingers and wipes her mouth with the T-shirt she’s wearing. “Is that ok?”

She’s looking at him through her pink lashes and he is momentarily distracted by the jade of her eyes. There, sitting on his bed, wearing only his T-shirt, and having just devoured a huge box of takeout, she could ask him to give her everything he owns and he would do it without thinking twice.

“Yeah,” he says. “It’s ok. But I have to go to work tomorrow.”

“Why?”

“To get money.”

“Why?”

“Right now, to buy more food.”

She worries. “You’ll leave me alone? I can’t even walk.”

It is a problem. He hesitates. “You can’t walk because your legs don’t work or is it because you don’t know how to walk?”

She sheepishly avoids his gaze and wiggles her toes with a pout.

“You need to learn how to walk,” he says.

“Help me?”

He stands up. She sits on the side of the bed and pushes herself up. She stands for a second and slowly leans to the side. He catches her before she falls and puts her back on her feet. She again stands for a moment before she crashes against his chest. She holds onto him strongly and he feels his cheeks burn at the feeling of her body against his. He holds her hand and her fingers feel smooth like marble in his palm.

“Push on your feet,” he says as she uses his arm as support. She tries to move forward and awkwardly kicks him in the shins. He badly muffles a whine. “Not like this. Push on the floor.”

She takes a single step and falls into his arms again. The scent of her hair is divine. He tries not to think that she’s doing this on purpose.

On her next attempt she manages to take two struggling steps and he moves back to give her space to walk. She trips, instinctively grasps onto his pants to prevent her fall, crushes his private parts as she does, and slumps at his feet. He clenches his teeth very hard to repress a loud complain. He needs a few seconds to recover. Why is her grip so strong?

“Are you ok?” he asks as he picks her up and sits her back on the bed.

She squints at him suspiciously. “Why are you so squishy down there?”

He didn’t sign up for any of this. “I think that's enough learning for today," he says firmly. "You can practice again tomorrow.”

[vaya-writes]

Not Quite A Life Debt - 2

A handful of f reader insert scenes with m demonic love interests. Fluff, hurt/comfort, and smutty shenanigans that lean kind of poly.

You (kind of unnecessarily) tried to save Ludwig’s life. Out of pity, he lets you crash at his place for a few weeks after. It probably wouldn’t be so bad, but he doesn’t live alone. Reader stays with the triplets until she gets back on her feet. Smut, family shenanigans, and possibly even romance ensues.

You settle in and meet Ludwig's family. There's a bit of a mix up regarding what humans can safely eat, and the start of some bonding with Obie. 3300 words.

Content warnings for this chapter include references to the last chapter (recovery from injury, very brief use of an inhaler, and mention of alcoholism), profanity, detailed food descriptions, food not safe for human consumption, someone (not reader) calls themself ugly and believes it. Divider by firefly-graphics. Also tagging @eldritch-spouse so she knows her clowns are being featured again.

Masterlist - A03 - Previous - Next

You’re pretty dazed when you step into Perdition.  

The events leading to this moment were stressful. Losing so much in so little time, having nowhere to turn; it’d all be overwhelming on its own. As it is you’re trying very hard not to break down in front of Ludwig, your new acquaintance.  

But moving to hell? That’s a whole new level of crazy you’re not quite ready to deal with.  

You take in your surroundings with a distant sort of interest. Ludwig leads you through a rough looking neighbourhood. It’s not the nicest place, sure, but you’re taken aback at how mundane the place is. Sure, there are demons in every window, and clustered around some doors and corners. There’s the flash of magic here and there, and things you'd rather not look too closely at. But it had never occurred to you that demons would require housing too. Would have their own suburbs and addresses. 

You’d laugh if it wouldn’t trigger a coughing fit. 

“So, I know you’re probably feeling,” Ludwig glances down at you, searching for a tactful word, “delicate, about now. But there’s a chance my family will be home.” 

“Yeah?” Your voice is hoarse. 

“Yeah. We were supposed to do dinner this week. But then you were in hospital and I had to postpone. My brothers will probably be lurking around until that’s dealt with.” 

Meeting people. You could handle that. Perhaps not right now, when you’re still clad in a hospital gown, and stumbling from exhaustion. But maybe after a nap? 

“Ok.” 

You travel another block or so before Ludwig comes to a stop before a two story home. It’s fairly unremarkable, if a little worn down. You might call it well lived in. 

He mutters a curse. “They’re home.” 

You wince. “I haven’t-” you hesitate to say you haven’t met a demon before. After all, you’ve known Ludwig for about a day. But still, meeting more than one right now is intimidating as fuck. Being here makes you nervous enough that you almost forget the week you’ve had. “Uh. Is there anything I should know before I meet them?” 

Ludwig frowns. Bothered, but it doesn’t feel directed at you. “Do you need a crash course in demonology?” 

“Uh,” you just want to sit down. “Not today?” 

His face crinkles some more. It’s hard to tell what he’s thinking, with his eyes always kind of closed. He lets out a long breath. “Obie is a glutton. Literally. He’s chill, but don’t leave anything small around him. Or your food unattended, if you’re particularly attached to it. And Mervin is a pride demon. He talks a lot of shit that he only means half the time. Expect to be criticised. It’s absolutely a front, but he can’t help it.” 

You bite your lip. “Sounds... kind of stereotypical?” 

“They’re stereotypes for a reason.” 

You realise you’re missing a key piece of information. “And you are..?” 

He blinks. (You think.) Then cracks the first smile you’ve seen him give. “Not obvious then?” 

You look him over. He’s of average build, a light red in colour, hooded eyes that he barely keeps open, and a set of ribbed horns of moderate size. Perhaps his type might be obvious to another demon, but you don’t know enough about demonic physiology to hazard a guess. 

“You slept through a building fire. Are you from Sloth?” 

He leans back, surprised, you think. “I’m from the common ring. Type is genetic.” 

You wait. 

“I thought you’d guess based on,” he waves at himself, “colour, but yeah, sleeping through a fire is a bit...” he trails off. “Let’s not tell my family about that.” He stands straighter, recovering. “I’m actually a wrath demon.” 

  You should probably feel something when he tells you that. Concern. Fear. Something. But you’re experiencing something akin to post exertional malaise. And it’s definitely rounding off your thoughts with apathy.  

You shrug. “Okay.” 

He seems confused. “Okay?” 

You nod. “Yeah. Okay. How am I supposed to react?” 

You’re pretty sure he’s staring. But after a moment he slouches. His voice softens. “Did you have any questions?” 

“Is there anything you think I should know?” 

He turns away. “Uh- not really. I... I know humans can scare easily. I’ve a bit more awareness of my outbursts than some wrathful types. Just... I suppose, ask before touching my things?” 

It sounds easy enough. You look up at the house with a sigh. “Alright. Can we get this meeting over with? I’d like to shower and then sleep for another week if possible.” 

He smiles again; the slight turning up of his lips. “That could be arranged.” 

--- 

Any other day and you’d be intimidated as fuck. Strange house, strange people, strange new rules, and you don’t know the half of them.  

You take comfort in the fact that Ludwig’s brothers are just as surprised to see you. The purple one – Mervin, you learn – stares daggers at you, silently contemptuous. Obie, the yellow demon with crooked horns, at least smiles, and shakes your hand.   

Then Ludwig is whisking you away to the spare room. “This used to be ma’s room. She didn’t leave a lot behind, but there might be an outfit or two. There’s an ensuite so you can have that shower you wanted.” 

“An ensuite and nobody uses this room?” 

He snorts. “We could never agree who got the room after ma moved out. To put things lightly.” 

The room is plain but it’s the nicest you’ve stayed in in a long time. The bed and wardrobe alone are luxurious compared to the hotel you’d been staying in. The clothes are a different matter.  

After rummaging through the drawers you hold up some pants, and try not to frown. “I think your mum’s body type is very different to mine.” 

Ludwig eyes the pants and huffs. “Yeah. I’ll see if anything of mine would fit you better.” 

He brings you some supplies. A towel. Clothes. Some soap. And then you’re left alone.  

--- 

Obie manages to keep his questions to himself. Even Mervin had kept his comments to a minimum, instead leveling Ludwig and his human with looks that could be deciphered as exasperated. Appalled. They wait until Ludwig comes back downstairs before facing him. Even then, they managed to hold off a little longer, until the sound of the shower begins upstairs, before giving him a proper dressing down. 

“Dude, what the fuck?” 

“You missed ma’s birthday for a human? Do you know how devastated she was? You could have called? Texted? Sent a fucking letter-” 

Ludwig sighs. Claps Mervin over the back of the head – somewhat viciously - before sitting at the table. “I did call, Merv. I told ma what had happened and got her damn blessing to stay on the surface. You’re just mad I didn’t tell you.” 

“Of course I’m mad. I cleared my schedule for this! What could be so important that you could just blow us off?” 

Ludwig laces his fingers under his chin. Would happily tell Mervin- if he hadn’t kept ranting. Pacing around the kitchen, gesticulating with anger. He shares a look with Obie, one honed by decades of dealing with the pride demon’s antics together. 

Obie understands. Gets up. Herds Mervin into a chair (even as he keeps talking). Cages him in with hands on his shoulders. 

“Shut up, will you? Do you want his explanation or not?” 

Mervin cuts off, sneering at his brothers. “Fine. Speak.” 

Ludwig grits his teeth. Has to swiftly decide which parts of the event to share. Not the drunkenness. That would just worry them. And if he tells them what you actually did to help, they’d probably experience the same bewilderment, the same condescension as he had. Mervin would have nothing but scorn for you, forever mocking your intelligence.  

“I was doing a layover in some backward little town when the locals tried to hate crime me.” 

His brothers straighten, attention immediately caught. 

“I’m fine. Obviously.” 

“What did they-” 

“They set the hotel on fire.” Ludwig huffs at their expressions. “I know right? Anyway, the girl tried to step in and help. People weren’t happy about it. She lost her home for the trouble. I offered to let her stay here or a while.” 

Mervin almost fluffs up, objections ready to spill, but Obie beats him to it: “That doesn’t explain why you were gone for several days.” 

Ludwig winces. He supposes they will find out about your blunder after all. “She’s been in hospital. She charged into the fire to try and help me. Inhaled a lot of smoke.” 

Mervin scoffs. “So she’s stupid.” 

Obie digs his fingers into Mervin’s shoulders. “Sounds like she’s kind.” 

Ludwig shrugs. “A bit of both, from what I can tell.” 

Mervin still sneers. “And nobody else could take her?” 

“No. I did not get that impression.” 

Obie shrugs. “Then there’s only one thing for it. She stays.” 

Mervin frowns. He’s definitely going to complain. But Ludwig spears him with a look that leaves little room for argument. 

Instead he stands. Scoffs, as he shoulders Obie aside. “You’re a bunch of soft-hearted fools.”  

--- 

The family dinner is rescheduled for the next day. You don’t care for the details, as long as you’re allowed to sleep. Using a real bed, in a quiet room is a wonderful treat compared to sleeping in a hospital ward.  

You woke when Ludwig had knocked. He’d brought you a bag of chips – a surface brand you recognise. You tore into those rather than risk the kitchen and running into the other occupants of the house. 

You’re not sure how much time had passed when you finally creep downstairs, drawn by the smell of cooking food. You’d slept in. Presumably. With the strange lighting in Perdition, the lack of clocks in your room, and your phone being flat, you haven’t an idea of the time.  

The yellow one is busy in the kitchen, cooking with practiced ease. There’s meat in a frying pan, while eggs cook in another. You watch as Obie cracks an egg open– it's large, too round, and certainly not from a chicken. You almost miss the way he tosses the shell. It flies in a perfect arc before landing in his open mouth.  

You hide your wince before making your way to the dining table. Ludwig sits at it, in deep conversation with another yellow demon. This one a plump woman with her hair styled neatly. You try not to stare, but she’s honestly the first demon you’ve seen with hair. 

Her deep green eyes flick to you and she smiles. Her voice is pleasant. Sweet. “This is her?”  

Ludwig nods, and introduces you to his mother, Katia.  

She seems lovely; fussing over you while you wait for dinner and asking if you’re well. She asks about your pain, your sleep, how you’re settling in. When the conversation meanders back towards herself and her family she chats about her sons in a way that’s frankly endearing. You catch a darkness on Ludwig’s cheeks that might even be blush.  

You actually manage to relax, smiling and nodding along politely, answering questions here and there. Thankfully she doesn’t ask you anything too personal. It goes on until Mervin joins you at the table and Obie brings out the food. 

You stand and offer to help, to set the table, but Obie and Katia brush you off, the later insisting that you’re a guest, that you’re unwell – you should be resting.  

They’re not wrong. Even the small amount of conversation that you’ve made has left your throat feeling agitated. You have to use your new inhaler before settling in for food.  

Obie serves you your plate. There’s eggs, toast, sausages, and fried meat. It all looks familiar, but distinctly off. The egg yolks are too small, too green. The meats have an almost purple sheen. The toast is oddly shaped, like it had risen differently. 

Still, you don’t want to be rude. 

It’s been said that you’re a little stupid.   

You certainly do nothing to detract from that argument when you cut a small piece of meat and toast and take a bite. 

In your defence, you’re hungry. You’re being polite. You don’t want to rock the boat by asking somebody to accommodate for your very basic and important needs. 

Regardless, you can’t help but hesitate at the taste. You chew carefully and swallow while sensation spreads across your tongue. 

“So... what are we eating?” 

Four heads turn your direction. They blink. 

“Oh fuck,” Ludwig swears. 

You pale at his oath, freezing before you can cut another bite. 

The taste begins to sink in. Savory. Rich. Intense. It’s nearly overwhelming the way your mouth alights. You do your best to keep a straight face, but fail.  

Mervin mutters something. Some insult. Some comment on your intellect. While Obie jumps up. Fetches a glass from the kitchen and fills it with water. “I’m so sorry, Bon. I completely forgot- here, drink.”  

The water helps. Barely. It still takes a minute for the taste to start to fade. You end up drinking the whole glass, hoping to dilute the taste of whatever the fuck you just ate. Not that it was bad. Just... unexpected. Overwhelming. You’d never had a taste threaten to overwhelm you before. It's certainly a new sensation. 

There’s a myriad of embarrassed looks around the table. You’re glad you’re not the only one. Hoping to diffuse the tension, you joke “Nothing poisonous I hope?” 

Obie shakes his head. He looks almost downtrodden. “No. Just... food local to these parts. I forgot that humans aren’t used to it.” 

“I’ve some junk food stashed in my room,” Ludwig stands, “Earth brands, so it should be safe.” 

Obie shifts, “yeah, about that...” 

Ludwig stills. Stares hard at his brother, you think, before turning and stomping towards his room.  

There’s a silence before- 

“You insatiable fucking rat. What have I told you about touching my things?”  

“Mervin, go stop your brother from getting too worked up.” Katia intercedes, calm as still water. “Obie, you need to replace what you took. Now.”  

Obie grumbles and stands. He picks up his plate and literally tips the contents into his mouth, jaw unhinging impressively to accommodate the mouthful.  

You try not to gape.  

He turns to you. “Wanna come with? You can pick out the foods you like?” 

You glance towards the hallway, where you can hear two raised voices, now coming closer. It’s an easy choice. 

You join Obie by the door, stepping into the sneakers Ludwig had leant you. “Sure.” 

--- 

 It’s an effort not to gawk at everyone you pass. Now that you’re rested and slightly more cognisant, everything around you seems novel. You’d flitted from small town to small town for most of your life. Hadn’t seen many monsters at all, let alone demons.  

Here, they’re everywhere. And you notice, with gradually increasing discomfort, that they’re also very much aware of you. 

You make it to a market. Obie grabs a shopping trolley and leads you towards the ‘interspecies foods’ aisle. They have a basic selection of human foods there, but there’s enough that you won’t have to eat the same thing every day. Mostly. 

Obie carefully picks out some sweets and chip packets, scowling all the while. “I can’t even remember the specifics. Do you think he’ll notice if I get the wrong chocolates?” 

You spare him a glance, before going back to monitoring your surroundings. There are even more eyes on you now. “I don’t know. As long as you get him a kind he likes?” 

He hums his agreement, and starts filling the cart, comically emptying out an entire shelf. 

“I think people are staring.” 

“There’s a glutton in a grocery store, of course they’re staring. You gonna pick what you want?” 

“Will they take my money?” 

He pauses to consider. “No.” 

Your stomach picks a bad time to rumble. 

Obie gives you a pat on the head. “Not to worry. This time it’s on me.” 

You’re relived, but your anxiety only lessens marginally. This family is already housing you. You don’t want to rely on them for food too. Gratitude tends to run thin in the face of inconvenience.  

You pick out a couple of things. Sandwich fodder. Cup noodles. Milk. But Obie doesn’t seem to notice your hesitance and empties out several more shelves of your favoured foods. Soon you have enough stock to last you weeks.  

Maybe he does notice. Because he prompts you to pick something else. Firmly redirects you towards the aisle again when you make to leave. “Nobody goes hungry in our house.” 

Until the shopping trolley is full. To the point where overflow is a risk. You watch Obie balance more onto the precarious pile, impressed by how much he’s managing to carry. 

The sight fills you with amusement. Enough that your anxieties ease, if only for the moment.  

But once you leave the store, your concerns resurface.  

“They’re still staring.” 

You can’t help but glance down at yourself, self-conscious. You are wearing a pair of tights from Katia’s supply and one of the shirts Ludwig had leant you. It’s oversized, but not horrendously so. 

“Don’t worry, Bonbon, they’re staring at me.” 

There’s that nickname again. It’s sweet. Almost ridiculously so, and you’re not sure if you’ve done anything to earn it. It distracts you enough that you almost forget the stares. But you can’t help but circle back to them.  

You don’t really believe him. Maybe some of the stares are levelled at him? But it seems to you that everyone is gawking at the human. 

“Why would they be staring at you?” 

“Well, I’m kind of ugly.” 

Your head jerks in his direction, unbidden. You haven’t heard somebody describe themselves so frankly since- well you’re not sure if you ever have. 

You regard him carefully. Search for the source of his comment. He’s the same build as his siblings. Yellow, in a pallor that is obviously inhuman. Average, as far as demons go, with two horns and tail. His horns are asymmetrical; curved and bent unusually. He has the same thin spade tail as his brothers, except the length of his is visibly kinked in several places. It lacks fluid movement – twitchy almost in a way that makes you think of broken bones and nerve damage.  

Still. You wouldn’t consider him ugly. Just different. “Are you?” 

“Yeah,” he shrugs. Gestures to what you had observed. His horns. His tail. 

His casual demeanour is almost forced. You start to suspect that he was being quite serious when he called himself ugly. 

It bothers you enough that you step closer to him and speak in a murmur, “you look fine to me.” 

He huffs a smile. “Well, aren’t you sweet? Don’t worry about me, I’m used to it.” 

His lightness irks you. You almost pout. “Nobody here looks normal to me. I don’t know what demons are supposed to look like. So you can believe my unbiased opinion when I tell you that you look fine.” 

He looks away. Seems to consider. Before shrugging. “I’ll take your word for it.” 

You can tell he’s not taking you seriously. This time you do pout. You push past your discomfort and link your elbow with his.  

His head whips towards you, surprised at the contact. 

You ignore his shock. “I’ve got a lot of gaps in my knowledge about demons. Want to fill me in while we head back?” 

He turns away, quiet for a moment, before shrugging again. “What did you want to know?” 

Next

[lilsqueaks]

Agere!Bendy Headcanons!-

(wiggles my fingers . excited to be writin some more for mo. i always have fun n these make my mood soo much better! requested by @/scrvwnycherub

hcs under the cut!!

cw: none

🌻regresses to 4-7 age range, always involuntary or always in a semi/permanent regressed state! and like in canon, she regresses to cope with her past.

🌻 like Joe she has no shame in her regression what so ever! its just something that's become part of her daily routine and life style! she mainly just did alone not needing anyone to watch over her just using it as a way to unwind.. but now that she has friends shes more than happy to include them!

🌻 verrry much acts like a little kid pretending to be big while regressed, a lot of following others around the house.. mimicking their body language, using big words even if she stumbles over them, "helping" (which really means mimicking Steph cleaning and immediately taking a nap after.)

🌻i feel like she would absolutely love playing pretend. she has a big chest full of clothes to use for dress up whenever she does, playing games like house and vet are always her favorite. She loves to play pretend with Joe and Orel, especially Joe, as he always puts a unique twist on games, like making teacher into "dinosaur school" having Bendy line up all his dino toys and teach to them while he plays as the students!

🌻 she also plays by lining up her toys and reading to them! if not that, she loves to have little dance parties, turning up the radio and swinging with them in her arms! she'll also gather everyone around to watch her preform a big dance number, or to watch her play theater!

🌻of course she has her vast collection of teddy bears and dolls to play with! but i feel like shed love infant toys also! their bright and colorful and make fun noises, she can entertain herself for hours with them!

🌻 for what we can tell from her room, she seems to love animals! butterflies especially! having them up and decorating her wall, so id feel like shed fixate on them.. telling everyone she meets cool facts about them!

🌻 she doesnt seem like a very out doorsy kiddo. but i get the sense shed love bike riding? going to the park n having Joe hitched up to a carriage and peddling around, all care free and laughing! some times he encourages her to go too fast and they crash but its all in good fun! and i feel the bike would be red, to match her nails of course!

🌻 SHE DEF WOULD GIVE JOE CUTE LIL MAKEOVERS OK!! painting his nails, a bit messier when shes little, but he loves how they turn out all the same.

🌻 i also feel like she begins to bond with Agnes more.. later on (im including her they should be friends ok!!) helps her come out of her shell more.. Agnes is more drawn to porcelain dolls, so she takes Bendy out to go window shopping for some!

[safetycar-restart]

Ok ok ok

Pierre did so well in the sprint (I locked myself in the bathroom to watch the last two laps so I was not interrupted) and he did it at a track that is so emotional for him every weekend.

Everyone is celebrating with him and for him, and he’s hugged by all the team and his friends and he has a huge smile and he is so so so so so happy. He’s glowing, it almost doesn’t matter what his result is on Sunday, what he did in the sprint is going to lift him and have him walking on clouds.

But you know Pierre. He has to come down eventually, and you’re ready to catch him when he does. As soon as he’s alone with you, he just sort of sighs really heavily and then he’s crying. They’re good tears, of course they are, but he’s so overcome with emotion and you’re safe so he can let them out with you. He is so happy and he’s hugging you and somehow you end up on the couch with his head in your lap and you’re stroking his hair as he naps. And when he wakes up you two are going to have a little mini celebration and as soon as the weekend is over you’re flying to whatever tropical location Pierre has chosen for the break and you’re going to pamper each other for at least two straight weeks.

Everyone look at the amazing thoughts my sub has!! I love this, it's so sweet and also so soft.

So firstly, of course Pierre is so happy when he gets that podium. He truly didnt expect it at all, but honestly he really needed it. He had been working so hard and been through so much and to see it finally show at a weekend that was already so emotionally charged? He needed that. He really did.

And I actually think he might avoid you at first? He's so overwhelmed with emotions and even though he's so happy, he also knows that it'll come crashing down soon. And he especially knows that he'll break when he gets alone with you. He can hide his emotions very well, just refuse to feel things, but he can't do that when he's with you.

At first you're confused when Pierre doesn't hug you immediately, but then he glances at you and shakes his head a little bit, and you realise what's happened. You get it then.

He just wants to enjoy the happiness for a little bit before it all comes cashing down, so you give him that.

You stand a bit further back and watch him celebrate with his team, watch him take pictures and cheer and get hugged by every team member. He's happier than you've seen him in a long time.

He celebrates with the team and goes through interviews on a high, barely able to stop smiling. After media, it's time for a few more pictures and then he's finally finished with it all.

He takes your hand the moment it's over and takes you to his driver room. He closes the door behind you two and locks it, not wanting anyone else to see this.

He sits down on the little couch, rests his head in his hands and just takes a few breaths. You don't sit down, knowing that he'll tell you when he wants you. He just needs a moment to sit down and breath for a little bit on his own.

But he needs you to be there. He would feel too lost and vulnerable if you weren't there. He just needs you with him.

And then when he's ready, he stands up and just sighs.

You open your arms and he steps right in, resting against your shoulder and holding you tight. He breathes for a few more seconds and then the tears start.

He cries for a good while, and to be honest he's not even entirely sure what he's crying about. He's happy, he knows he is. But the entire weekend has always been very emotional and his team has been given him so much stress and now he's gotten a sprint podium and it's all just a little too much.

You don't say anything, just holding him close and letting him cry it out. Pierre feels a lot of emotions very intensely, and you've learned that sometimes what he needs from you is a safe space to feel them, not any advice or to be asked to talk. He just needs to feel.

When he stops crying, his grip on you lessens but he leans against you more, letting you take more of his weight. So you gently lead him back to the couch, sitting down and directing him to lay with his head on your lap.

That's how his trainer finds you two an hour later.

[wifegideonnav]

ok day 5/6! crazy that i only have 1 infusion left now

today was more about family/some deeply personal stuff for me, so im gonna skip describing that. however in general, ive definitely felt like im continuing to go deeper and the time im tripping feels like it’s continuing to dilate in a rly nice way. i feel like im almost fully integrated with that guide/mother figure now. it definitely feels like i needed to hear those messages from an outside perspective at first, but now im just hearing it and feeling it from within me, which i definitely count as a huge step forward.

also, regarding the dam that i was talking about yesterday, what happened with that was feeling like i became it, and then was told “you are the dam.” so tbh im not entirely sure what’s up with that lol. hopefully i can get some more clarity tomorrow.

oh yeah! and i did get this really overwhelming feeling towards the beginning of the trip that love and my soulmate are out there and coming to me, so that was. really nice haha. ive really felt grateful that i haven’t been pursuing relationships in college, because i absolutely know that they would’ve crashed and burned in a really destructive way for everyone involved but im also like tick tock id like to be gay now. i was really hoping that this treatment would be another step forward in being able to build a healthy relationship with someone, and based on what ive experienced so far i think that’s definitely true! i really do feel like romance is coming towards me, and i feel more ready than i ever have in my life to greet it and make it flourish :’)

in other news, definitely im feeling much groggier and weaker for longer after my sessions, which is really annoying. im just trying to be patient with myself and give myself all the time and rest i need, but it does suck to have to ask my dad to carry my dinner leftovers from the car to my apartment bc the box feels too heavy. i know it’s not gonna last tho, so i just gotta tough it out for now.

a little worried about what it’s gonna be like tomorrow afternoon; i have my session in the morning, then later my dad and i are gonna be embarking on the drive home, which will take 7-8 hours+ depending on how nasty the traffic is. normally it’s not a bad drive at all, but given that ive really been relying on my naps to feel like ive come back to myself and also get a lot of subconscious processing done, im not sure how it’ll be. i think im honestly just gonna try to nap in the back seat for as long as i can and go from there.

so anyway, another great day overall! im excited for my last dose tomorrow, and then im excited to spend time with my family. i’ll definitely post another update tomorrow, and then probably a wrap up post. thank you again to everyone, you’ve all been so kind, supportive, and respectful, and it really makes me feel like part of such an amazing community 🥰

[lulubelle814]

Just Dizziness - Chapter 16

Crying exhausted me, inducing a nap on the couch for a while.  When I woke up, Sarah hadn’t quite made it home yet, and it was getting dark outside.  With a pounding headache, I dragged myself into the kitchen to find some paracetamol, knocking back 2 once located.

We don’t know why she’s still unconscious sir

Flipping around, I didn’t see anyone in the kitchen.

…..active brain activity……

I ran through the apartment.  Was someone there?  Was the radio left on?

….indicators she has brief periods of consciousness…..

Checking the windows, everything was closed.  The radio was definitely off as was the TV.  Running to the front door, I flung it open.  No one was there.  All I could hear was the traffic from a few floors below.  Pacing through the apartment, I kept hearing snippets.  I didn’t recognize who it was.  Maybe it was a neighbor.

Is there anything I can do? I refuse to give up on her. 

I stopped, standing still in my tracks.  That voice.  I recognized that voice.  I KNEW that voice!  Is this a neighbor?  It has to be.  It has to be a neighbor, maybe their TV left on loudly, or some sounds carried on the wind.  That or I really am losing my ever loving mind.

‘That’s it.  It’s a neighbor.  It has to be!  People don’t hear things out of nowhere.  Or see themselves in car crashes.  It’s best just to forget this whole thing.  Maybe pretend I didn't hear anything, right?  Right. I just want to be ok for one damn moment!’

I made a decision.  I was just going to sweep this under a rug, at least for a while.  I had to.  These dreams of this fantastical man?  Just dreams.  Hearing him read to me?  Wishful thinking.  It’s time to get back to real life.  Regular life, whatever that is.  Not to mention the amount of guilt I felt for how much Sarah has been taking care of me this entire time.  She has been there for me, kept me out of the hospital, the psychiatric ward.  I could be strong for her, couldn’t I?  A person could only be a caretaker for so long, and Sarah deserved a break.  So I was going to give her a break and pretend, at least for a while, that everything is fine, just fine.

Maybe after a while it would be.

That’s when I heard the click of the lock and saw the front door swing open.  Sarah was finally home from work.  She went to place her purse and keys on the entryway table, and I ran and enveloped her in an all consuming bear hug from behind.  She didn’t mind one bit, turning around and hugging me back.

“I don’t know where that came from, but I have missed your hugs.”

“Thank you for the chocolate milk.” I responded.

She was stunned.  I’d been quiet for some time.

“Um, would you, uh…..like to eat some dinner?  Or something?” she responded.

“Yes,  please.”

Sarah hugged me again, and I could feel a combination of confusion and relief coming off of her.

“I, uh, picked up some of those cheeses you like from that one shop we love on my way home?  They also had these amazing crackers I thought we could try.  I also grabbed some more of that chocolate milk you love.  This one new shop has it, and I knew you’d flip over it.”

"Very!" It wasn't easy, but I was trying. 

Sarah’s eyebrows perked up high.  “I knew you’d throttle me if you found out I'd found it and didn’t bring any home.  Plus you’ve been through a lot, and I wanted to bring you something I knew you’d enjoy.”

She always had my best interests at heart, and I loved her to pieces.  She always had my back, and I had hers.  When that stupid guy dumped me right before the big dance?  Instead of kicking his shins like she wanted to, she “accidentally” dumped a bag of garbage on him.  When her idiot boyfriend cheated on her?  I procured cat pee and poured it all through the inside of his brand new car.  We were thick as thieves.

Just keep talking to her.  It seems to help.

I ignored it.  “Dinner and a movie?”  I suggested, and Sarah agreed.  She ordered take away and found some random movie on the telly.  When the food arrived, I forced myself to eat, not wanting her to be concerned about my appetite anymore.  After a few bites, I couldn't eat anymore, and I slid the container out of sight.  

I faked a yawn and headed off to bed.  “Time for bed.”  Sarah agreed and headed to bed shortly after.  Laying in bed for hours, I stared out my window at the starless night until sleep finally came.

Chapter 17

[movedtodykedvonte]

Spamvil - 5, 12, 15

5. Who does what chores?

Bold of you to assume either does chores. But if I had to say Spamton would be do a lot of the cleaning; vacuuming, mopping, laundry and just a lot of the stuff revolving around keeping the house clean. I feel like Spamton likes having absolute control of the environment he'd be in due to the lack of control he had in his life previously. Organizing and having things his way and by his standard would be relieving, more so that it is directly by his hands and actions. Also, after living in the trash for years I feel like he'd be a bit of a neat freak after knowing he isn't forced to accept the filth he lives around. By extension he does a lot of the decorating in his and Jevil's shared space because he likes to make himself feel established in a place. Jevil can recommend stuff and add things but he finds Spam's unique decorating style amusing.

Jevil on the other hand would be like in charge of cooking and lawn stuff. If they had a pet of some kind, maybe walking and training it. Jevil was locked away for years, isolated without many outlets other than occasional bouts of violence for overzealous visitors. He does not need to be around chemicals to mix them into mustard gas but I feel like cooking would be fun for him. He can be experimental and wild with it as there's really no rules in cooking besides having fun and enjoying what you make (and not starting a fire). Spamton wouldn't care at all cause eating whatever Jevil makes would be infinitely better than the garbage he's been eating for years. Same rules apply for lawn stuff as I feel as if Jevil would fuck up a hedge and a pet gives him a reason to play and work off all his energy.

12. Who gets up the earliest? Who has the worst sleep schedule? Who is the sleepiest?

Ok as much as I like sleepy Jevil headcanons I like the idea the guy has to be tired out and then he sleeps like a log, like I feel like he rarely slept during their years in captivity due to understimulation. Too much pent up energy and just running around the cell in hopes to quell it. As such, he has objectively the worst sleep schedule as I feel like they won't sleep for days and then crash and sleep for a week. Sometimes they nap, but in like really light sleeper way where it's likely they are just waiting for you to get close so they can bite you.

Spamton is the sleepiest but more in the sense of constantly being tired due to everything he's been through and it weighing on his mind and body. He wakes up early and tries to set good habits but he's kinda over it but still wants to feel normal. I feel like he takes a lot of naps and Jevil just hovers around him in this state, they don't want to sleep but they like how the tension seems to melt off of Spamton when the puppet allows himself these moments of rest. I also like to think Spam likes to wake up early due to businessman standards.

15. Do they go on vacations together? Where is their favorite place to visit?

Spamton likes to travel, Jevil does not. I feel like Jevil doesn't care fro the idea of having to learn the rules and manners of a new place, preferring to cause havoc in what he considers his own domain. You'd think after being locked up Jevil would like to see a lot more but I feel it's the opposite. Jevil wants to regain a familiarity because all in all, Jevil's mindset is heavily surrounded by convention despite actively trying to defy it. Spamton on the other hand loves the idea of traveling. The guy has a weird dependence of proving purpose and life outside himself and moving around and seeing how he exists and is real in new environments would provide an odd comfort. Plus, it reminds him of how he got to travel as a big shot.

Seeing this conflict, and how they probably can't visit each of their home dark worlds anymore (answering this as if its after the fungang) they are limited to castle kingdom or maybe if they could get to the light world, hometown. So everything is probably just a staycation. I feel like if they could Spamton would just like sight seeing, looking around and just taking in how things are existing. I feel like he'd like parks or busy streets where he can both be a spec and in his own world. Jevil also likes this because these places are effectively blank canvases to him to goof off in. Another good contender is

I feel as every date staycation activities goes as Spamton trying to be normal about things and failing but in a way that won't get them kicked out, like listing horribly inaccurate facts about fish as an aquairim, while Jevil decides to get him a gift from the shop but the shop he went to was just the great white's tank.

My goal is to slightly subvert every ship cause I feel like we have not seen ever angle these fuckers are making out hard at.

[protocolseben]

slipshod writing because i just want a companion random story to that edit accompanied with some drawings (and also all written in lower case)

fernando is pissed as balls that his engine broke down in abu dhabi. He can’t even have a leaving-team race in peace, and worst of all, no donuts. he can’t send seb off like he wanted. everything was going to plan even. alas renault’s high quality engine™ decided it had enough of the year and wrecked itself in the middle of the race. 

karma in a way after ocon’s car also went spectacularly, it seems

so there he is dragging his items and the whole nine yards to the aston martin motorhome with his friend and basically minder because he’s also had enough with alpine management screwing him over. aston was nice enough to have a few spare rooms so he dumps everything in there and just. sits on a chair. he’s properly rinsed anyway and tired and also sad that now he has one less super experienced driver to go toe to toe with and really get him going

Internally he’s wishing really really hard. i wish with whatever is left of my heart that i get a really fun season next year with not a lot of crashes and good good racing please i'll politick a little less even.

something in his mind makes a faint click sound, but he's gone and napped too far to care about it.

Anyway his friend just lets him ko on the floor because it’s fernando, he knows what he's doing 95% of the time so its alright.

might as well acclimatise to the aston place that feels immediately extra homey and already accepted him as compared to alpine. Its gonna be his team for a while after all. uncharacteristically he just straight up KOs on the floor and no one had the mind to actually wake him up because that’s a dirty floor sir. but it's a comfy dirty floor for starters.

- - - - -

Anyway it gets real funky when he gets up and is in a hotel, but he felt like the entire weight of last season was completely gone. Its an athlete thing to always be at the top of your game, but right now he feels the same as if it was 2012 all over again and superduper motivated. That’s absolutely not right.

It’s dawn and really cool out and his stuff is still there except none of them are alpine related. It’s practically his black sponsorless suit and normal kimoa stuff. His helmet is…not bwt? It’s his standard asturias flag, not the horrible and pink but also seemingly missing the tribute flag lines he did for seb’s last race.

wait a minute, the season just ended.

he finds out he's near silverstone and his friend’s basically at the door telling him he needs to get ready to go to aston’s hq, meet the team etc etc. well ok sure no problem, except he swore it was not that fast dude. sadly the calendar on his phone says 1 JANUARY 2023 ..

He gets driven to the hq by his friend and he loves how nice the whole place is turning out. Getting to know the engineers and also Lance’s engineers and see how the car will go. Judging from how chatty they all are they are really excited about it, saying that he was excited about it, but fernando has legitimately zero idea about how the aston car felt like. because he can’t remember if he did a post season test or anything, and for once in his life just hoping he's not too clueless while looking around in the factory

Now you see, the other driver standing there waiting around isn't 185.5cm and fernando remembers this very well because Lance is a lanky man. This person is very much 176cm and wearing a knitted aston beanie and has the stupidest but gentle looking hair curls. He also has the biggest shit eating grin on his face seeing fernando come in and welcoming him in happily 

“wait you're supposed to be retired totally wtf”  fernando is whispering in semi-panic later when the engies are all away to get things because “THAT IS WHAT HAPPENED” and he is positive the date is 1 January 2023 

“No??? We welcomed you in and stuff remember”

“No you said you were done with the whole thing and you wanted to do new things not driving”

"fernando you're getting old!!!! i signed for another year"

This makes nando the most confused he has been in years and to make sure he proper isn't on some funny drug, he asks seb if he did post season testing

“Yeah you were really loving it you said the engine was really solid despite the miles i did”

Nando runs out of questions because he knows seb is almost incapable of lying unlike him who has chronic politicking syndrome. Also because the man is looking at him like he has grown five heads and that's not a good way to greet your new teammate.

- - - - -

He leaves the factory very confused but also very satisfied in the racing part of things, because the car feels so strong. He gets a genius idea on the way to his car and knows the internet is permanent, and he checks his twitter and-

that is not right. there isn't a single post about seb’s retirement. In fact the month of July-August is celebrating that both he and seb are going to aston, hell there’s an edit.

it takes him a minute to parse that this is in fact the new reality and he has 2 months to slowly get to it. he thinks he has a plan, but it fizzles before realising the contact he wanted to speak to wasn't even in his phone. briatore has stopped existing in his list .

...

who's briatore again?

[desmondkane-of-ao3-fame]

How about some skarlow angst prompt: Willow hits her head during flyer derby training and gets a small case of amnesia, forgetting everything up to her first meeting with Luz, forgetting Luz entirely, being friends with Amity again, the entrails, even forgetting Skara being her girlfriend, so her friends and girlfriend have to help her remember what willow forgot!

Ah, this one sounds like the sort of tale that would absolutely crush Skara and everyone who reads it.

Lets do it!

This one got… a little away from me, and basically evolved into an “Understanding Willow” sequel by accident. It’s a long one, so if you’re gonna read it, I suggest you grab some popcorn and prepare your tissues as well. Lots of Skara angst in this one…

Willow would be leading another exhilerating round of Flyer Derby practice. They'd be practicing a particularly bold new strategy Skara came up with: The Drop Ride, where a player distracts their opponent by letting them get close, only to drop straight down super fast right before another player to fly up from behind and snatche the opponents flag. Willow's a bit hesitent, thinking the move could be dangerous, but Skara insists that it's as foolproof as a sports strategy can get. So, with a sigh and a smile, Willow agree's to try it. And it goes well at first: Viney's and Hunter are able to complete the move with ease, Gus makes it look effortless, and Skara's able to complete it no problem. So then it's Willow's turn.

Skara's the one who has to grab the flag this time, and just because she's dating Willow doesn't mean she's gonna go easy on her. So, when she reaches to grab the flag... she grabs it! Right before Willow drops! But Skara grabbed the flag with enough strength, and Willow dropped with such force, that Willow loses control, and before she can get Clover to rise back up, she crashes to the field at such an angle she flys off her staff, hitting her head and passing out.

The whole team rushes to Willow immediatly. Skara's the first one to reach her, craddling Willow in her arms and begging her to be ok, but Viney arrives shortly after, testing to make sure what Willow's condition is. After a few quick tests, Viney confirms, thankfully, that Willow's breathing regularly, but she needs to get to a Healer's bed. Skara carries her girlfriends into Hexside as the Entrails follow along, Gus calling Amity and Luz to let them know what happened as Skara internally begs the Titan to let her Petals be ok.

After a few hours, the Entrails, Luz and Amity, and Willow's dads are all around Willow's bedside, worried about when she'll actually come to. Viney's running tests and casts the occasional spell to help with a scrape as Hunter and Gus stand by, grabbing anything Viney says she needs to help her. Luz is comforting Amity, who feels useless in this situation, where Abomination's would just get in the way. Willow's dad's are both getting a lot of practice out of their anti-panic technique they taught Willow all those years ago. And Skara's holding Willow's hand, trying to reassure them that she'll get up soon, Petals is the toughest Witch in the world, it'll be just like a quick nap. But internally, Skara's beating herself up, angry at how she was the one who encouraged the strategy that caused this and she was the one who grabbed the flag and she-

Before she can blame herself further, though, Willow's eye's flutter open. Skara can't help but let out a delighted squeel as she watches, and everyone else turns and smiles at the sight! Willow's ok! Skara wraps her arms around Willow's neck, laughing as she kisses her cheek, so grateful that she's come to-

And Willow shoves her off, completely mortified.

"What the-Why were you just kissing me?!"

Skara's taken aback, confused and a little hurt, but Willow scans the room and her panic continues.

"Who-who are you two," she says, pointing to Luz and Hunter. "Amity, what are you doing here? And what's with your hair?" She grabs at her braids, asstonished. "A-and what's with my-"

Viney quickly takes charge, telling everyone except for Gus and her dads to get out! Skara wants to stay, but Viney insists, pushing everyone out. Skara wants to go back, but Amity stops her: if Viney, the only Healer they knew, wanted them out right now, there had to be a good reason. And Skara can't argue with that. But... Petals...

After what feels to Skara like a small eternity, Viney returns. It appears that Willow's memories have regressed to before meeting Luz. She thinks she's still taking Abomination classes, doesn’t know anything about Flyer Derby-

“And thinks I’m still bullying her.” 

It’s Amity who says it, but Skara thinks it to herself. It hurts, knowing Willow only can remember the worst things she ever did. The days she was friends with Boscha, before she stood up to her and left the triclops for her Petals. A part of her wants to cry and bemoan the unfairness of it all, but she knows this isn’t about her; it’s about Willow. So she takes a deep breath and asks Viney if there’s anything she can do to help.

Viney has one idea. And it’s one that’s a bit... unorthodox. And, they’ll need the help of a wise, powerful witch, who may be willing to bend a rule or two...

Willow’s put to sleep (which Skara can’t help but think makes her look like an angel... if a very spread out and loud angel) and Eda points them in the direction of one Raine Whispers, capable of doing what Viney wants to do: get someone inside Willow’s brain so they can help fix her memories. As soon as the plan is revealed, Luz and Amity volunteer: they both have experience going into Willow’s head, so it should be fine, right? But Luz suggests someone else: Skara. Everyone’s a bit surprised, but Luz reasons that, if Skara is the one who caused this mess, maybe she can be the one who can fix this, just like how Amity had to. Skara, wanting to make things right, agrees, standing tall and firm. As she looks down at her sleeping girlfriend, Skara promises the Titan, the Collector, whoever runs this stupid world, that she’ll do literally anything any of them ask, if it just means she can save Petals...

Raine hands Skara and Amity walkie talkies, casts the spell, and both Skara and Luz enter Willow’s mind forest. As Skara admires how even in Willow’s head, all her plants are beautiful, she takes note of a few things out of place: namely, shards of paintings, strewn across the forest floor, scattered like a thousand dulled stars. Amity explains the impact from the fall probably shattered them, which makes sense given how they were originally burnt when Amity set fire to her memories. The two set to collect all the painting pieces to set up all the memories the accident shattered. But as they do, Skara see’s herself in many of the still in-tact paintings. And many of those paintings painting her in a less then flattering light: laughing with Boscha as she made a cruel jab at Willow, pulling mean pranks on her. As she grabs more and more of the shards, she wonders more and more if she can really bring back... her Petals. If this flood of horrible memories is something she’ll think about, and if the reminder of who Skara was is going to cause Willow to break up with her. She shudders at the thought, trying to keep that idea out of her own mind for as long as she can...

But as that tries to leave her mind, a rustle in the bushes causes Skara to spin! Amity’s getting shards in the opposite direction! What...

Nothing. Nothing sits there.

Skara exhales, blaming it most likely on the wind. Willow’s... mental wind... 

Over time, both Amity and Skara collect almost all the pieces and begin to put them together (thankfully putting the pieces together in the frame just magically reconects them as opposed to needing glue which is not something I thought about until now). Some of the memories are good repaired, actually: Saving the Boiling Isles once and for all, the Entrails first championship, Willow and Skara’s first date. But some of them... Skara just tries to get those pictures over and done with. Amity attempts to keep the mood light and jovial, but with Skara barely responding to anything she says, she eventually just sighs and says:

“She’s not going to break up with you over this, Skara. I promise.”

That’s what Skara hears. And that’s what she wants to believe. What she wants to think. That Willow’s just going to shrug this all off when it’s over, accept Skara’s apology and plan their next date. It be a perfect ending.

And Skara knows that can’t happen.

She points back to the pictures on display, some of them stuff about her bullying Willow, making fun of her with Boscha and Amity. How she helped to make the biggest, kindest person in the world feel small and helpless for years. The fact Skara was able to befriend Willow, let alone date her, is a miracle from the Titan! But now, if Willow forgot about those memories and her old ones of Skara hurting her just flooded back in, then even if she remembers the good times, would Willow still accept her? If she remembers this period with amnesia and all these bad memories is it going to hurt Willow too much to date Skara? And heck, since Skara was the one who got Willow in this in the first place then-

Amity tries to talk Skara down; she’s getting hyper, overly anxious and scared. But Skara can’t stop being scared. She doesn’t want to lose her Petals. Skara doesn’t want to hear her say their through because she realized she couldn’t handle their past anymore. And the more Skara imagines it, the more scared and anxious she becomes.

She panics, and in her panic, angrily cries.

“Even when I’m dating her, all I do is hurt Willow!”

But before Amity can say anything, a hulking behemoth formed of petals and a thin, wirey, cacoon-like mesh, smashes through the forest! Glowing bright scarlet in rage, the beast takes a fist, roars, and smashes one of the tree’s with a painting the girls had finished! Shocked and confused, Skara watches as the beast raises its fist again at another tree, before Amity snaps her out of it, and Skara lunges at the creature! Not knowing if she can even do magic here, Skara just gives the beast the ol’ Skara Special, the same move she tried on that EC gaurd who tried to capture her... but to no avail. All it does is turn to her, angrier then it was even last time.

“You. Hurt. Her!”

The creature smashes its fist into Skara, sending her realing. Luz is able to send the thing back, but it still attempts to destroy another one of the paintings on their way out, one of Boscha ‘pranking’ Willow with an exploding potion in her Abomination goop. As Skara recovers her senses, she asks Amity if she has any idea what in Titan just happened!  And Amity’s quiet. She doesn’t want to say it. So Skara asks again, because she knows if Amity wont tell her-

“It’s... I think that was her Inner Willow.”

Skara feels a lump in her throat, and her fear worsens. She can’t help it: She runs, runs back through the forest of memories, trailed by Amity begging her to stop. But Skara keeps running, because at least running is better then facing the idea of Willow-

Skara realizes too late that she’s smacked into one of the tree’s, diving headfirst into the painting. At first she’s scared: She just landed in another reminder of her mistakes! Thats all she can-

But no. Instead, when she opens her eyes, it’s not that at all! It’s a memory of their first date! Of Willow playing (well, breaking) a Test of Strength and winning Skara a stuffed Slitherbeast. Skara watches on, as Willow hands her past self the oversized prize, to Skara’s delight. She remembers how she still has it in her room, and how she cuddles with it whenever Willow can’t be there...

Amtiy arrives, asking Skara to stop running before realizing she had. So they both stop, and watch the silly couple walking away, Skara kissing Willow’s cheek as the two made their way to grab some Rotten Candy. Amity sighs as she watches, patting the space next to her as she sits criss-crossed.

“I think we should talk...”

So they do. Skara sits, knees to her chest, and admits she knows she’s selfish. She knows she’s being stupid. But she’s so, so scared of losing Willow. 

“She’s the greatest thing to happen to me.”

She pauses.

“But you don’t think you’re the greatest thing to her?”

Amity sighs, placing a hand on Skara’s shoulder.

Skara takes a deep breath, let’s it out, and asks, shakily:

“If Luz… if she left you cause of how you used to be… what would you do?”

Amity’s eyes go wide. For a moment, Skara wonders if the idea of losing her girlfriend scares Amity more then it scares even her.

“I… I would be hurt. Incredibly hurt, I won’t lie.”

Amity takes her own shaky breath at the idea. “I’d probably curl into a ball on my bed and spend the next week crying. Losing Luz over the past… it would be like losing a limb.”

Skara knows it’s the same way with her.

“But… you’d get it?”

Amity nods. “I care about Luz. And I care about what she wants. What makes her happy. And if, Titan forbid, being with me didn’t make her happy… I’d break it off myself.”

It’s not exactly what Skara wants to hear, but it’s what she knows she has to.

Unfortunetly for them, their talk is interrupted tremors shaking the entire memory. As the two run to the gate, they spot the creature again, stomping about the forest and looking at other memories to smash. Remembering what Amity said earlier, about an ‘Inner Willow,’ Skara knows what she has to do. Leaping out from the painting, she runs up to it, standing in front of the newest painting to catch its eyes. 

“Willow, I’m sorry! If you hate me, I get it, and if you want to... to break up then-”

But that’s as far as Skara’s speech goes before she’s punted down the length of the forest.

The monster follows after Skara, and Amity rushes to catch up. But as she does, somthing stops her. The faint sound of crying in the distance. A very specific crying.

Willow’s crying.

Amity stops in confusion, and turns to the sound, seeing a faint purple glow in the same direction. She calls out, trying to grab Inner Willow’s attention. As they look up, she see’s their glasses fractured, cracks all across them, as she tries to stand. Amity rushes to Willow’s side, trying to help her up.

“There was a thud, and the whole place shook, and so many memory paintings shattered and now somethings here and-”

Amity’s already grabbing the walkie talkie, calling on help from Raine and the others to know just what the heck whatever’s hunting Skara as she drags Willow to catch up to them.

As they run after Skara, she’s currently being cornered by whatever it is that’s in Willow’s mind. She’s stepping back, unable to turn away from it. She pleads with it to stop, to let them finish, but all it can do is swipe at Skara, crying ‘YOU. HURT. HER!’ Skara jumps to the side, as it smashes it’s hand into the tree, causing the whole thing to shake and shatter the painting, once again. But this time, it stops, staring down at the pieces in shock, before trying to take them into its oversized hands. Skara stares on in bewilderment as the creature begins to try and reform the painting after smashing so many of them?

And then she looks down at the shattered pieces, and realizes what makes this memory different: It’s in Willow’s apartment building, right outside her door. Both girls are in their finest dress up attire after Skara brought Willow home from a movie, talking and laughing and holding hands and blushing and Skara taking a deep breath right outside Willow’s door and-

This is the memory of their first kiss.

And Skara thinks she knows whats going on.

Back with Amity and Willow, Raine tells them about called an Algos: a phenoma where a person can bring so much fear into another persons head it manifests as a seperate being! And this Algos seems to be coming from Skara!

Which Skara herself realizes, as the creature begins to shrink down, morph, into a glowing purple mirror of herself, save for dark, empty eyes. She’s trying to repair the painting, frantically putting the pieces back together like her life depnded on it, muttering about how all of this was her fault, how she can fix this, how she has to fix this, how-

Skara takes a seat next to her counterpart, helping to repair the memory. “After we fix this one,” Skara tells them, “we should try fixing all the other ones... we smashed.”

But her memory mirror shakes her head. “We hurt her. We hurt her and she’ll remember that. But, if she can’t remember, doesn’t remember, then-”

“Then we just make the whole thing a billion times worse.” Skara turns to her counterpart, taking their hand. “Believe me, I get it. I’m terrified of what she thinks of us when this is over. If she’s gonna hate us or not. But... but this isn’t about us. It’s about her. And if after all this, she breaks up with us, then...”

Tears stream down the purple Skara’s face. She looks up at the real Skara, eyes filled with pain and hurt and understanding. Then, without warning, she wraps her arms around Skara.

And Skara wraps her arms around them.

“Skara! You here! You ok?”

Skara blinks, and her mirror image is gone, now replaced with Amity, and a glowing purple Willow with broken glasses. Seeing them, she smiles.

“I’m ok, yeah.” Then, looking back on the ground, she notes “C’mon. We got some memories to re-make.”

A couple hours pass as the three girls put the memories back together again. Skara doesn’t say a whole lot, not really sure what she can say. She knows that some of the memories they put together make her too happy to say anything. And some of the memories make her want to stay silent forever. But as she, Amity, and Willow slide the last of the pieces into the final memory, of agreeing to Skara’s stupid strategy, she knows she’s ready for whatever comes of it.

As the last of the memories are repaired, Willow’s glasses lose their cracks, and she looks at Skara, wide eyed and beaming. 

Then, to Skara’s surprise, Willow hugs her.

And Skara hugs back.

With one last call to Raine, Amity and Skara return to the physical world. Viney, after making sure both of them are ok, holds smelling salts up to Willow’s nose and, much to everyones delight, she awakens. Coughing and hacking up a lung at the terrible smell, but awake none the less.

Everyone crowds Willow, hugging her and rapidly talking about how much their glad to have her back. Everyone but Skara, who stands behind them, still not sure what to say or do. But knowing she would only do it if it was best for Willow.

After a minute or two of everyones undivided attention, Willow notices Skara’s hesitation. She asks for some privacy, and after a few more hugs from Luz and some quick kisses from her dads, the room clears. It’s only the two girls, alone in the room.

Willow reaches out her hand. “You know I’m not gonna break up with you, right?”

Skara barely can believe the statement, even as she takes her girlfriends hand. “But when you pushed me away, and all the horrible memories... after getting you hurt again, how can you still wanna date me?”

“Because the girl who hung out with Boscha’s gone.” She squeezed Skara’s hand, smiling. “She’s just a memory. And now, I have this wonderful, amazing girl, this brilliant strategist and fun soul and silly bard, to be with.”

Skara can’t help but feel a few pinpricks of tears forming in her eyes. “Titan... you’re a sap when you wanna be, you know?”

Willow just smiles. “I’m glad I get to make new memories with you, Skara.” Right before pulling Skara in for a kiss.

And of course, Skara kisses back.

[pr3tty-wh3ny0ucry]

1.23.23

I didn’t sleep last night :/, I hate when I don’t sleep. It makes me feel extra crazy. Around 5:30 I went to get starbucks. I was scared I was going to crash, needed REAL coffee to stay awake. COLD BREW is always a favorite. After starbucks went to class #1 (color theory). Realized my project was shit. it’s ok because I am going to re- do it anyway.

I have perfectionist qualities but lack the motivation to make my work look the way I want it too. This always leaves me feeling like I’m a failure, wasting my money and leaves me with the feeling that i’m not good enough to be at the school i’m at. I put SO much pressure on myself, more then anyone realizes I think… it’s killing me. I need to remember to take a step back and remember that not everything has to be perfect. I need to remember to take things one step and a time. I don’t need to GO GO GO all the time, that’s not heathy for me.

After Design i went back to my dorm room, I was planning on taking a nap but i didn’t. I called my mom. She asked me how I was. I responded. “Tired and hungry”. Shockingly she sent me $15 to go out and get food. I was NOT expecting this what so ever but was thankful, I was planning on eating at a dining hall and that was the last thing I wanted to do so it was nice to go out and grab lunch ALONE. I went to a place called M cafe or something, honesty i can’t remember. But it’s on BAY and is a french cafe

Alone time is very important to me, I feel like if I can’t do at least one alone activity a day I start to feel trapped and overwhelmed by the people around me, I LOVE my friends. They are a lot sometimes.

After i got lunch I went to my second class. Drawing. This class is stressful because my teacher moves SO FAST. not much happened but I definitely did not have all the work i needed done, to be done.

After class I went to starlandia and to get vapes with a friend. I’m his driver for the week in exchange for @dderall, that’s kinda funny lol. I went back into my dorm room to shower and relax. The shower was nice. I feel clean now

My roommate and our other friend came back to the dorm so we could go and get food. The food was decent. Better then usual but not great, dining all food is mid at best. Sometimes it is hard to hang out with this friend. It hurts because I have genuine feelings. I’m not sure if he sees me the same, or as just someone he can get with when he’s drunk and bored. this makes me feel gross sometimes.

We went back to our room and just all hung out. The same friend I went to starlandia and to get vapes with came by as-well and he was with a girl on our floor. This girl made me cry once but i was also so cruel to her so I look past it. I think they like each-other. But don’t tell anyone, This is just a working theory I have because they just MAKE SENSE to me

Everyone left, Now I am here. I should be sleeping, it’s been over 24 hours, my eyes are heavy but I can’t sleep.

I am super exited for tomorrow because it’s wine night in the park. GOODNIGHT <3

[dalkyeom]

yayyy omg fandom ocs are so fun it’s funny bc each fandom oc I make just becomes like a regular oc for me after time 😭😭😭 I did want to make a genshin oc eventually bc I used to have some but I kinda scrapped them after a while bc I wasn’t really feeling them anymore 😔 also hhh the image of you holding my ocs is so wholesome 🥹🥹🥹 hmm little preview 🤔 a lot of them have abilities because they’re espers hehe so powers!! ✨✨✨ I’ll probs go in depth more once I start posting >:) 🤫🤫🤫

also yeah the story was super cool I loved the Diamond and Pearl clans a lot tbh 🥺✨ and just the overall feel of then game was cozy and almost whimsical which makes sense since many felt like it was a pkmn botw

also mood nap time is always important gl gl with your zine work!! <333 I mainly hung out and went shopping with my mom which we both agreed was exhausting 😭😭😂😂 but it was worth it to get a couple things haha I’m gonna relax and watch fullmetal alchemist so overall good day

HELPPP SAME! It’s like after some time (when you’re not active in the fandom anymore) you’re collecting regular ocs like thanos 😂

genshin ocs are so fun! I think they become more fleshed out if you have someone to make headcanons/interactions with. Mine was more of a traveler oc who became an npc/playable genshin oc pipeline after giving her some backstory. It’s ok to scrap tho sometimes you’re just not feeling them and that’s alright 😌 you can recycle/reuse initial ideas for new ocs hehe

The preview 👀 am excited bc most of my main ocs have some power involved too so bddbd 👀 interaction lore 👀🤲🏻

I really feel like the lore and world building in Arceus is so interesting, I’m really excited to play it soon 🥺 sometimes, I feel like recent entries lack this depth or inspired storylines so the whole isekai/ time traveling aspect is so intriguing. I think the last title game I felt this much enthusiasm for was either diapearl or black/white bc recently I just feel like collecting pkmn > be interested in the story 😭

Thank you!! Amg the sugar crash this month is really making me sleep more so I’m hoping to get more done 😂 HHH FULLMETAL 😭 a childhood classic! I hope you were able to rest well yesterday, Izzy 💖💖

[teddybeartoji]

hi mickey!! i’ve been on an off adhd meds for about 4 years so i’ll tell you my experiences with the two i’ve been on ☺️

the first one i was ever on was adderall and the first day i took it i genuinely got the worst stomach ache of my life. had to leave school early it was sooooo bad. but that happened ONCE and then never again so it was all good. genuinely helped me focus, for the 2ish weeks i was on it i did really well in school which was abnormal to me. i was on the lowest dosage though and i felt like i became kind of immune to it very quick so they upped me to the next dose and i unfortunately cant remember how that went at all but i figure it didn’t do much for me bc i switched meds.

the med i’ve been on longer is vyvanse which i have a love hate relationship with…bc. well. it makes me genuinely sick, like it just completely gets rid of your appetite. the idea of food, smelling food, looking at it, eating it. just can’t do it. i either eat before it or when it first kicks in bc unfortunately if you don’t eat while you’re on it the effects are worse. like you have to fight through the sickness so you don’t feel sicker? it also makes me wayyyyy social, takes away so much of my anxiety and makes me feel happy. my therapist said it’s because adhd can manifest as anxiety often times so it’s counteracting that. i don’t have an active prescription but i had one last year so literally like 2 weeks ago i had to do a shit tone of homework and i took the rest of my pills over the course of the week. and i got soooooooooooo much more work done than i did all quarter so that was great.

the crash after is INSANE though. it’s not uncommon to feel like super sad when it wears off and i vividly remember crying in school at the end of the day once bc it was wearing off and i started having an existential crisis. the nap after also crazy like just totally knocked out for hours. and the focusing and happiness will be gone but the icky stomach feeling will linger until u eat.

that’s just my experience but i hope it helped a bit :)

HII RO<333333 THANK YOU FOR SHARING THIS WITH MEEE!!!!!! it's so good to hear genuine experiences bc they can just differ so so so much. i had never heard about vyvanse so i wrote that one down for myself.

it sucks that the side effects can vary so much........ like damn can the medication just be Medication instead of taking away one thing and replacing that with like three smaller things??????? pls. when i got my antidepressants my friend told me all about her first two weeks (we had the same meds with the same dosage). she was like yeah you definitely have to eat before you take them or you'll get super sick, you have to take them almost at the exact time every day or you'll get sick + she had like stomach aches and she felt like she was gonna throw up a lot so she was just constantly chewing gum for the first two weeks and that scared the fuck out of me. bc. that's a lot of things lmao like is it even worth it all of that???? but then i had absolutely none of that NONE OF IT. the only time i feel sick is when i forget to take them...... but it's still good to know how it is for other so i can atleast BE READY FOR IT.

ok but you don't take them daily though right? just when you know you're gonna be more busy? is that just because you don't feel like you have to take them daily or you don't want to? my friend kind of does the same but the thing is... i am literally unemployed rn and i don't have school or anything but i still feel like i can't focus on anything so i'd probably be taking them on a daily basis anyway.. and i'm just wondering whether that's a bad thing or not. maybe it just depends on how well they actually work and whether or not they give me any big side effects............ sighh it's so upsetting that you just have to Try Them. pay for the session buy the meds probably suffer for some time just as an experiment lmao i love it

it's really good to hear that it helps with your anxiety too btw!!! i didn't know that it could do that and this is just making me wanna try it out even more i'd love to Not Be Anxious. whew what a crazy thought.

but i am very very very scared of the appetite loss though bc well...... i struggle with that anyway i just kind of forget about it and it's such a big task so the thought of taking something that could possibly make that even worse.............. is scary lmao this was one of the things my psychiatrist warned me about too

oh and also the crash after it......................... MMMMMMMM yeah that's a bit scary too just considering i tend to go through every single feeling and emotion on a daily basis anyway thanks to my good old friend autism. SIGHHHHH WHY IS IT HARD BEING OFF MEDS AND WHY IS IT HARD BEING ON MEDS PLSSSS

oke i kinda yapped but genuinely THANK YOUUU FOR TELLING ME ABOUT UR EXPERIENCE!!!!! now i know what to expect a bit more!!!! i hope you're having a good good day<333 love u MWAHH