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risuola · 4 months

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▶ NEEDY AND SHAMELESS — Satoru was needy and couldn't deal with it himself.

contents: needy, whiny, whimpering Satoru (that's a warning!), college+roommates!au, nsfw, oral (m! receiving), reader discretion is advised — wc. 2585

a/n: dedicated to my dear 🎶 anon for creating the movement #HeadForGojo, love ya! but also, we're diving into dangerous waters with the trio and i'd like to think that the reader is closer physically with Satoru and mentally with Suguru but fear not, spicy Suguru is coming as well!

𝙇𝙊𝙑𝙀 𝙈𝙀𝘿𝙇𝙀𝙔 | series masterlist

You’re not the type to get easily surprised.

Usually.

Living with two boys and knowing them for most of your life had prepared you to expect the unexpected and it was the spontaneity that was at the base of most of your best memories. The impromptu hitchhike travels during which you’d sprawl on top of either of their lap, the tight spaces in which you slept sandwiched between them, the unplanned sleepovers and long, nighttime rides on their motorbikes.

You’ve watched the stars with them, spread-eagled on the dew-sprinkled grass outside the city, talking the nights away while getting eaten alive by mosquitos and you loved every second of it. You’ve survived few days on nothing but instant ramen just so you three could get the best time at the beach without robbing a bank. You didn’t blink twice when Satoru once dragged you into a kissing competition just so you could win a two nights’ stay in one of the most luxurious hotels in Tokyo for all three of you around valentine’s day — you won of course, and after that you partied like royalty, getting drunk with Suguru on expensive champagne (and getting Satoru drunk), and jumping on beds in hotel-branded robes.

“I’m sorry, can you repeat that?” But this time you were flabbergasted. Blinking a little faster, you tried to force the gears in your head to turn and process what you just heard. There was no way he just asked you to—

“Can you suck my dick? Pretty please—”

—never mind. The question sounded just as unexpected as the first time, if not more. There was no reason to it, no background information, no nothing that could make it sound a little less out of place.

“Context?”

Gojo groaned. You watched his cheeks turning bright red, the tips of his ears crimson as well and his hand met his face, covering it, hiding it from your expectant gaze. He was nervous, he was embarrassed and you had no idea what the hell was going on underneath the white mop of fluffy hair, but it wasn’t hard to tell that there was smoke coming out of there. For a short moment you wondered if he’d be able to trigger the fire detectors in the building.

“God, this is so embarrassing. I can’t— fuck.” He stuttered and it was the first time in your life you herd him stumble over his own words. “I really can’t do this with my hand. I just can’t, it doesn’t feel right and I’m so fucking frustrated because I tried to get some girl from the campus to give me a head but I can’t force myself to get hard for them. I somehow go all limp and useless whenever they throw themselves at me and ironically the thought of you makes me so painfully, impossibly bricked up that I might just chop the thing off to feel some release.” He was speaking so quickly it was almost difficult to understand, looking everywhere but at you. His eyes were bouncing off the walls and furniture, windows and ceiling but not once settled on you.

“And you want me to get you off?” You questioned, making sure that you understand his rumble correctly and the moment you spoke, Satoru finally stopped fidgeting and froze. His gaze slowly made its way towards you and his breath hitched, his heart pounded in his chest, his whole body tensed up. His mouth opened and closed, and then opened again but nothing came out. It took him a good ten seconds to find his voce, and even then, it came out as barely above a whisper.

“Yeah,” he said simply, the single word hung heavy between you. His hands were in the pockets of his sweatpants, fingers curling around something — maybe a coin, maybe his own sanity; knuckles turning white from the strain as he took another deep breath. “I know we’re friends and roommates and all sorts of things that should make this a terrible idea but, I swear to all gods out there, it’s not about me wanting you to get me off, it’s about me needing you to get me off.” He swallowed hard, the knot in his throat threatening to choke him. This was so wrong, so incredibly bad and yet, here he was, practically begging you to touch him. To taste him. To swallow him whole. “I know it’s weird and fucked up and probably a huge mistake, but I don’t know what else to do here.”

You saw the vulnerability in those cerulean orbs, the raw honesty behind his confession. The desperation in his voice almost broke your heart, he looked like he’s about to pass out from sheer exhaustion — emotional, mental, physical; every kind imaginable, and you knew him. It wasn’t one of his whims, you can see through them in a blink of an eye. He was serious, he was trembling, his eyes seemed to well with tears as he begged you.

“Does it come from the day you asked me to judge your cock?”

“Yeah, I guess so. You said I make you salivate and fuck, the vision stuck with me.”

And then, he dropped onto the bed, sitting on the edge with elbows resting on his knees as he buried his face in his hands. He swallowed thickly, gulping down the lump in his throat. He hated the thought of ruining what you had as friends, it terrified him.

“Satoru—” you let out a sigh and he flinched, straightening up and looking at you again.

"I'll do anything. I can eat you out after that to pay you back. I can clean the room for a month. Fuck, I can even give you money if you need it. I'm just fucking going to combust if it goes for any longer–“ He rambled, babbled, desperate to get his point across. "I'm so impossibly hard when you're around, it hurts and every time I try to get my shit together, it's just getting worse."

“You don’t have to pay me back, Toru,” you said lightly, laughing at his nervousness. “I love you, idiot, I’m not gonna let you suffer, though I warn you that I might suck at this, no pun intended.”

“You don’t even have to use your mouth, honestly, if it’s your hand I’m sure it’s still going to be fine, as long as it’s you.”

“Oh, no, if we’re doing this, you’re getting the proper, sloppy, messy head,” you teased and he nearly moaned. The very thought of your mouth wrapping around him almost made him cum in his pants.

His cheeks heated up, all of his body felt like it’s on fire and he loved the feeling. You were straightforward; there was never any pretense or games played between you and him and he adored that about you.

“Please,” he whimpered, paralyzed by the thrill of excitement. The nerves were churning in his stomach, ecstasy coursing through him like electricity through wires. He watched as you moved, putting down the phone, there was a grace in the way you were crawling to the edge of the bed and you made a little sound when you got down onto the floor. He was quick to grab a pillow to throw below your knees, and you shot him a little grin.

It felt odd to you, to kneel in front of your best friend like this with intention so explicit but you also felt at ease with it. It wasn’t pity that drove you, you just loved him genuinely and there was no forcing involved in the way your hands moved to give his thighs a little squeeze.

You chuckled, amused by how sensitive he was, how impatient when just the slightest touch of your fingers over his clothed legs was enough to make him jolt. You could feel the heat radiating from his body and as your eyes moved down from his face, you noticed how strained his cock was against the fabric of his pants. There was a tiny dark spot where his tip was underneath, precum soaking through the grey sweats and you leaned in, flicking your tongue over the cotton, teasing him and he moaned.

“Sweets, please, have mercy. Mochi, I beg you–“ he was a whimpering mess, he was flushed, his chest was heaving and you touched him just barely, through the clothes.

“Oh, patience Toru,” you grinned, reaching up and hooking your fingers over the waistband of his pants. The elastic snapped against his stomach, making him whine and you acted innocent as if you didn’t do it on purpose.

“I’d love to be patient but keep it going and I might just bust in my pants and then die,” he dramatized; his knuckles were turning white from the sheer force he was squeezing the sheets behind him.

Finally, you pulled on the band, taking both pants and underwear at once and his manhood sprung free. The tip hit his stomach, leaving a droplet of seed on his light skin and he twitched as the cool air hit his sensitive flesh. The sight of him made you swallow, the saliva gathering at your mouth because he did look delicious and yet again you were reassured at the belief that god has his favorites.

Dragging your nails across his thighs, you reached to wrap your fingers around him, feeling his weight against your palm and the girth you struggled to embrace at once. You stroked him few times, experimentally, and it made him writhe and fidget, with the whiniest of moans. Satoru felt like he’s going to go crazy, your touch was gentle yet firm and it sent sparks shooting up his spine. He bit his lip to stifle another moan, his hips bucked into your hand involuntarily, seeking more friction. Despite his best efforts to maintain control, he couldn’t help but squirm beneath your touch.

“Be a good boy,” you warned playfully, leaning in, and savoring the moan that broke his apology when you run your tongue along the curved underside of his dick, the veins there felt prominent against the flat of your muscle. The kiss you planted on the tip of it was almost tender, gentle; the salty taste of precum mixed with your own saliva when you twirled your tongue around him.

“Fuck, that feels amazing,” he managed to gasp out between his clenched teeth, his eyes fluttering shut as the pleasure surged through him. He could feel the heat, the tension coiling within him and he swallowed thickly. The sensation of your mouth was unlike anything he had ever experienced before and he felt his eyes rolling to the back of his head when you took him in. Satoru’s whole world narrowed down to the feel of your mouth on him — so wet and warm and wonderful — enveloping his cock in a velvety embrace that had him seeing stars. Your tongue was hot and slick, gliding expertly over his throbbing length. Each lick, each suck had him writhing in pleasure and he barely managed to hold his hips down, to not thrust them deeper into the dreamy embrace between your lips.

The mixture of precum and your saliva was coating his cock, dribbling down his length and your chin. Messy. You were bobbing your head up and down his length, taking more and more of him sloppily. You were greedy, your movements like a dance to an unknown melody with the main dancers being your tongue and his member. You were twirling, tasting, teasing him mercilessly. Your cheeks were hollowing and your nose meeting the few white hairs at the base as you took him deeper and deeper and he was moaning. Shamelessly, loudly and oh so sweetly.

“Swee–mhaah–‘m gonn—” he stuttered, whined, tried to warn you but the words came out incoherent and stretched along the sounds that were ripping through him. His heart pounded in his chest, a wild rhythm that matched the rapid beat of pulse in his veins. Satoru felt his body tensing, one of his legs bouncing as tried to keep himself from shooting his load into your mouth.

Panting, heavily, shakingly, he watched you below him. You looked pretty like this, so drop dead gorgeous and straight out a fantasy that he’s been pushing to the back of his mind for the longest time now. Truth is, he wanted you, needed you much more than a friend would long for a friend, but he was too scared to act on it.

You hummed, the vibrations of your vocal cords pushing him near the edge, sending jolts of pleasure straight to his balls. His cock throbbed in your mouth, leaking precum that coated your tongue with its salty sweetness and he squealed, reaching to grab your head, your hair, to pull you away before he—

A loud, lewd mewl cut through the room and Gojo’s body went rigid as wave after wave of pure, carnal pleasure washed over him. He saw fireworks underneath his eyelids, he felt them exploding inside his veins, and he exploded too. The feel of your mouth sent him spiraling right into climax, speeding with no brakes and he was delighted. His cock twitched, pulsed with each spurt of cum and his entire body trembled with ecstasy, head tilted back, spine arched and mouth agape.

Joyful. He felt so utterly, unapologetically joyful.

Wave after wave of pleasure crashed over him, leaving him panting and spent in their wake. He looked down again, catching the sight of you lapping at his cum, licking him clean and he finally went limp, falling back onto the bed with a weak, gleeful moan.

“Fuck… that was… oh god,” he panted, his blue eyes glazed oved with delight. His chest was raising and falling rapidly, each breath coming in short gasps as he struggled to regain control of his senses but he didn’t want to. He wished to bask in the afterglow a little more, a little longer.

You finished the job with a loud pop as you took him out of your mouth and finally let go. He was softening, his body deflating, relaxing and you took it as the job well done. Once fixing his underwear and sweats, you climbed back onto the bed and dropped next to him, taking in the sight of his flushed face and disheveled hair. He looked angelic, with teary eyes and parted, swollen lips, glistening from saliva. You committed the picture to memory.

“Good?” You asked, though the answer was obvious from the way he looked.

“Heavenly,” he panted out and turned his head towards you. He watched as you reached up to the corner of your lips, thumb wiping off the lone drop of cum that lingered there and he grabbed you gently, pulling it to his own mouth. You chuckled when he sucked on your digit, his warm tongue circling it precisely as his mouth enveloped it whole.

“Nasty,” you teased and leaned in to kiss his forehead.

“Look who’s talking,” he played back, his words muffled over your finger before he finally let go of your hand. A string of saliva stretched from the tip of it and to his mouth but he licked it off like a kitten. “Thank you, mochi.”

“You’re welcome,” you offered him a smile and got off the bed, heading towards the bathroom. “You’re cleaning for a month by the way!”

He whined and you laughed.

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depravitycentral · 4 months

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General Yandere! Kotarou Bokuto Profile

Yandere! Kotarou Bokuto x reader

TW: kidnapping, possessiveness, mentions of stalking, mentions of masturbation, allusions to somnophilia, Stockholm Syndrome, emotional manipulation, Ko uses you as his emotional support system, delusional behavior, nonconsensual physical affection/touch, vague allusions to non-con, mentions of physical abuse, Kotarou is extremely emotionally needy and physically touchy and just generally quite a handful, mentions of insecurity, fem reader, MDNI

I do not condone any of the actions described in this post - this is fiction and should be treated as such. If you or a loved one is in a similar situation to anything contained in this post or my blog in general, please seek help. You're in charge of your internet consumption; please make responsible choices. With that, enjoy!

WC: 11K

DARLING PROFILE:

Introverted

Koutarou is a lot. He knows it, his team knows it, hell, the entire league knows it.

His energy is difficult to match; he’s a ray of sunshine, blinding yet impossible to look away from, someone with boundless amounts of energy, someone friendly and extraverted to an almost extreme.

Because he is so rambunctious and loud, he would actually really enjoy a partner who mellows him out a bit more, someone who isn’t constantly hyper and talkative and wanting to spend hours on end with other people.

He works well with Akaashi; who is quiet, calm and not as talkative, and his darling would likely reflect that in many ways – the serenity, the sense of peace and calmness, the idea that they aren’t constantly jumping with energy, constantly bursting at the seams to go do something.

Ideally though, he’d enjoy a partner who is still willing to talk, who’s willing to indulge him in conversation and compliment him and give him that adorable smile, just not a social butterfly like himself. It makes him feel privileged, special because his darling wants to speak to him, that they’re using their precious social battery on him him him.

He’s in awe that they start conversations with him; his darling, who so often doesn’t utter a word around crazy people such as himself, who sees someone as hyper as him and immediately run for the hills.

It makes his ego flare, and he can’t deny how adorable they are when they get embarrassed at his attention, when they roll their eyes and shove his shoulder lightly, when they freeze and cower as he loudly proclaims his love for them in the middle of the movie theater and everyone looks over.

He loves it, and it’s a nice bonus that it cuts down his competition - less dirty work for him, something Koutarou is very thankful for.

Creative

Volleyball is Kotarou’s life, and as a result he hasn’t had much time to explore anything outside of it. He’s never really tried his hand at painting, playing an instrument, baking, or really any other hobby.

And of course he loves the sport dearly, but there’s something alluring to the idea of a darling that’s invested in something so completely different from himself.

It doesn’t matter what the hobby is - cooking, drawing, writing, singing, it could be anything at all.

But once Kotarou finds out his darling enjoys it, suddenly he becomes obsessed with it, wanting to learn as much as he can and hone as many talents within it as possible. In his eyes, everything his darling does is perfect, so the thing that they love most (aside from him, of course) must be amazing, right? It must be worth his time to learn about it and become familiar with it, if only just to impress his darling, if only just to share even a scrap of the love they feel for it.

He’ll beg and pester his darling to teach him, constantly asking questions and carefully watching their answers.

Because rally, while Kotarou develops an interest in the activity because of his darling’s love, he also becomes familiar with the hobby because he lives for the way their eyes light up when they’re concentrating. They look absolutely gorgeous, even more beautiful than normal, something sparkling in their eyes.

His knees grow weak when he sees them biting their lip or sticking out their tongue in concentration, his feelings only growing ten-fold and becoming stronger because it’s just so incredibly endearing that his darling has something they love enough to be this devoted.

They get this ethereal glow about them and Kotarou genuinely can’t take his eyes off of them when they’re in that mode.

And so instead of listening to their instructions, he finds himself drifting into fantasies of them finally getting that glow and radiance when thinking about him. It’s what fuels him, what gives him energy.

He just wants his darling to adore him in the way that he adores them.

Nurturing

If his darling is anything, they have to be supportive.

Poor Kotarou is in constant need of reassurance, and his darling has to be willing to put up with that. They have to be willing to deal with the emotional labor of constantly praising him, of telling him wonderfully talented he is, how funny, how charming, how handsome, any and all compliments they can think of.

Their kind words go straight to his heart, making his body feel fuzzy and warm, an unstoppable grin stretches across his face and his words excited as he asks them really? Are you sure?

He’s overwhelmed by the idea of his darling thinking such thoughts about him - they think he’s strong? They think he’s talented? They think he’s amazing?

Needless to say, a few simple words of praise from his darling are enough to get Kotarou’s entire mood shifting, his metaphoric feathers ruffling and a pleasant, gooey feeling in his heart making him feel lighter than air because oh, they think he’s attractive and fun to be around?

He loves how easily they’re able to make him feel good about himself, and he can only hope to return the favor.

As a result, he’ll compliment his darling often, completely out of the blue and about odd, but strangely endearing things. He just wants them to feel how good they make him feel, and he’ll do anything to get them there.

Competitive

While his darling needs to be someone capable of spilling praise at a moment’s notice, Kotarou also finds himself attracted to those who has a healthy sense of competition in life.

As a professional athlete, he takes competition very seriously, and is also the type to find that a bit of competition is the perfect thing to spice up a relationship. He loves the idea of having a friendly rivalry with his darling – perhaps at something entirely stupid, like mini-golf or slugbugging or something equally childish.

Regardless, he likes the idea of his darling and him being playful together, of having someone he can establish that teasing rapport with. Besides, while he can sometimes be a bit of an emotional wreck, Kotarou finds emotional intelligence extremely attractive.

Thus, having a partner that’s capable of gracefully winning and losing is wildly attractive to him – they’re able to regulate themselves and put others’ thoughts and feelings into perspective.

He cares too much about other people to have a darling with little to no awareness of others’ feelings, and to have a darling that manages to merge in this awareness alongside a healthy appetite for competition and teasing?

Well, Kotarou finds himself falling hard and fast, loving the idea of a darling who’s so mature yet so wonderfully immature – perfect for someone like him.

(And, though he isn’t consciously thinking about it, perfect for a mother – he won’t explicitly bring up the topic of marriage and children, but he enters every relationship with the thought in mind, always hopeful that perhaps he’s finally found the right woman. And lucky him, he has – his wonderful, wonderful darling.)

GENERAL YANDERE TRAITS:

Clingy

He’s naturally quite affectionate with those around him, for better or worse. He’s always looking for someone to talk to, hang out with, goof around with, and once his feelings for you form, so lovely and horrible and overwhelming, this trait is only amplified.

It only increases monumentally with the absolute need to constantly be around you, to have your attention solely on him because god, seeing your pretty eyes focused on him makes his heart race so fast he thinks he’s dying.

He wants you to be looking at him at all times, thinking about him every minute of the day, be craving him as much as he craves you. He wants you to daydream about him smiling at you, making you bite your lip and stare at the ground while you fight back a flustered, school-girl-esque grin because god, isn’t he just so dreamy?

He wants you to be fantasizing about hugging him, feeling his strong, muscular arms wrapped around your body while he nuzzles into your neck, whispering your name in a hoarse voice that gets you shivering and nudging your thighs together because fuck, how can anyone sound that good?

Honestly, the idea of you thinking of him is enough to have him grinning with his eyes squeezed shut, a slight flush on his cheeks as he pumps his fist and lets out a victorious laugh.

(There have been quite a few instances of you patting him on the back, albeit awkwardly, to which he responded with a resounding hey, hey, hey! that sounded much too close to a moan and raised his fist to the sky – you’ve never understood why his voice gets all high and shaky like that, but somehow it seems you’d rather not know the answer.)

He thrives on your physical touch, your sweet words and glossy eyes staying fixed on him, and you’ll quickly notice how Koutarou always seems to just be around, how those golden eyes never really seem to leave, his gray and black hair standing out in your peripheral, followed shortly by a cheerful yell of your name and a bone crushing hug that makes you wheeze and shiver as you realize there’s something pressing into your thigh, oh god why is he hard and nuzzling his face into your neck and is he sighing?

It’s almost flattering at first – not expected, but sweet that he seems to feel so close to you, until it’s happening every day, every time he sees you – he’s always hugging you, holding your hand, ruffling your hair, calling you so cute, isn’t she Akaashi? Makes me wanna eat her right up!

It’s endearing and you’ll be flattered that a famous, attractive professional athlete is so obviously interested in you, but it becomes less and less endearing as time passes. It becomes less cute when he’s making some offhand comment about how you must’ve changed your shampoo – he distinctly remembers your hair smelling like strawberries, and now it has more of a lavender scent; but don’t worry, you smell great either way, cutie!

It becomes less flattering as he tells you while you’re being forced to sit in his lap as the team puts up the volleyball nets that you seemed like you were hesitant to come to practice with me today – is there something I don’t know about? Are you seeing someone else? What aren’t you telling me? It’s not nice to keep secrets from boyfriends, you know.

Quickly you’ll come to realize that Kotarou’s level of dependence on you is completely unwarranted for how close your relationship really is, but there isn’t much you can say to change this fact – he’s clingy, he needs your affection and attention, and when you ask Akaashi or Atsumu about it, about why he seems so needy and so obsessed with you, they’ll both write it off as Bokuto and his fleeting feelings, just his childish nature at work.

And when you try to confront him about it, to tell him that you’re uncomfortable with him suddenly springing up on you from behind, pinning you against a desk with his body looming over you while he inhales deeply and whispers about how pretty you look in your new skirt, he’ll just frown, pouting down at you while he whines about how he isn’t trying to be weird, that he just wants to show you how much he cares, how much he loves you.

He’ll only lean more weight on you, hug you tighter and whisper about how he knows you want this just as bad as he does, that it’s only normal for boyfriends to want to touch their girlfriends, to want to spend time with them and hear their compliments and care for each other.

It’s natural, he explains, to be always by your side, for you to never leave his field of vision – which is why you’ll find yourself coming to most MSBY practices and games decked out in the #12 spare jersey he not so subtly demanded you wear (that still very much has the fresh scent of a recent workout in it – something about pheromones and marking you, Kotarou had explained, with words too quick and slurred for you to really understand).

You’ll find yourself spending most of your meals either by his side or in his lap (trying to ignore the way a certain hardness presses against your ass if you move too much, if you’re squirmin’ so much cutiepie, you okay?).

You’ll be walked home everyday from your job and convinced to spend the evening with him, though he spends more time staring at you than watching the movie you’d thrown on.

And really, you can tell yourself every day that you’ll finally stand up to him, that you’ll finally end this bizarre, possessive behavior coming from a man you aren’t even dating, but each time you bring it up, those soft golden eyes will have you feeling like you’re kicking a puppy, his entire aura being shut down in a heartbeat at your stuttered I-I think we need to take some time apart…

Kotarou isn’t doing it on purpose, but you’ll be extremely hard pressed to ever really change the way he acts around you – it makes you feel too guilty, like you’re spinning the situation into so much more than it really is.

So, when you bite your lip and shake your head, giving him a shaky smile and telling him that you changed your mind, he’s beaming and letting out a cheer and scooping you into his arms to swing you around in circles, despite your demands that you must be too heavy to carry, that he’s making such a scene and the entire restaurant is staring and god, he just loves you so much, he knew you were meant for him and your acceptance only proves this!

It’s not so big a deal, right? Kotarou is mostly harmless, doesn’t mean anything weird by his touchiness, his desperation to be with you, right? It’s just a short term thing, soon his attention will move on, right?

Possessive

Kotarou, while incredibly empathetic and intuitive to other peoples’ emotions, does not handle his own especially well.

He’s terrible at stopping himself from having extreme highs and lows over the pettiest things, and this doesn’t stop at just volleyball, at just his normal life – no, his love for you is most definitely affected by this as well. Namely, in the form of jealousy; he’s a firm believer in faithfulness and loyalty, in the idea that you have one and only one partner, that they should be enough for you and that other men and women are essentially just background noise for the real one, the one that makes your heart race, your palms sweat and a lovely sort of nervousness to grow in the pit of your stomach.

He’s always believed in this, and once his infatuation with you forms, this philosophy most certainly doesn’t change; if anything, he clings onto the idea with frantic fingers, clutching at the concept of you looking at no one else for any reason whatsoever.

He’s plagued with the fear that someone will try and interfere with your relationship, that someone will come along and try and tear the two of you apart – he’s terrified of losing you, of losing who he genuinely believes to be his true love to some other man, to some other loser who decided you were pretty and would be a fun catch.

Kotarou is self-aware enough to know that he isn’t the ideal man, that you likely don’t love his mood swings, his habits of switching emotions quicker than you can likely keep up. He knows this, which is why it makes it so much more painful when that coworker of yours starts talking to you more, looking at you with such light and happy eyes, staring at you with what Kotarou is absolutely sure is a blush on his cheeks, when he’s leaning in way too much.

His possessiveness flares up especially in his sadder moments – when he’s already spiraling into a fit of self-doubt, it’s easy to read too far into any situation in which your gaze flickers over to another guy, easy to over examine the way you quickly apologize after bumping into a player on the opposite team in the hallway.

It’s so fucking easy to feel like his place as your rightful partner, as your lover and boyfriend and future husband is being threatened when he sees literally anyone approach you – because really, Kotarou can’t help but wonder if you’d like them more, if maybe you’re only nice to him and letting him hug you, compliment you, and everything else because you feel sorry for him, because you’re pitying him.

And it’s those thoughts that drive him to march up to you and pull you into his chest, to press your ear against his heart while he buries his face in your hair, tears streaming down his cheeks as he asks in a whisper if he’s still enough, if you’ve found someone else, if you even really love him.

And really, as disarming and disorienting as it is, there’s some part of you that will feel bad for him, that will want to comfort this man so obviously in need of praise, so obviously in need of someone to tell him that yes, he’s enough, yes you love him and you’ll always love him.

Even if it’s not true – even if it’s just something you’re saying out of a misplaced sense of guilt, even if it’s something you’ll find yourself horribly regretting the deeper into delusion Kotarou sinks. And so, as you promise that you do in fact want him, that you need him as badly as he needs you and that you’ll never, ever leave him, Kotarou slowly begins to relax, melting into your arms and trying to calm his ragged breaths, the racing of his heart, the tears flowing down his cheeks.

It’s difficult, but as he pulls back and sees your confused, beautiful fucking face, a small smile makes its way onto his lips, the knowledge that you’ll never leave him ringing in his head. Because really, how could he ever ask for anything more?

All he needs is you you you, and now that you’ve promised him, he’ll hold you to it. And when you’re trapped by his side some time later, those strong arms wrapped suffocatingly tight around your waist and his grin big and dopey and scary as he promises to never, ever let you leave his side, you’ll really only have yourself to blame. Because really, while Kotarou’s jealousy manifests mostly as self-deprication and an increased need for your reassurance and praise, ultimately you’ll be the one to push forward his dependence on you.

You’re the one telling him that he’s wonderful, that you’re not interested in any other men, that he’s every girl’s dream. It’s small things that slowly build up, feeding into Kotarou’s delusions until he’s too far gone to really even listen to you anymore; picking and choosing what he wants to hear from you, twisting your words into some grand declaration of love that gets him smiling like a fool, crushing you into his arms and leaving your lips bruised with the ferocity of his kisses.

You’re just so perfect, huh?

Delusional

But in an extremely specific way – on his own, Kotarou isn’t a particularly delusional man. He’s tied to his beliefs, yes, but he’s grounded and lucid enough to understand the importance of seeing multiple perspectives, of listening to others, of staying in touch with reality and not letting himself get too carried away.

And this is still true in the beginnings of his obsession – he knows that you’re just friends, that you have a budding friendship that he’d like to progress into something more, something deeper and more romantic in its origin. And he’s strict about this for a long time – going to Akaashi for dating advice or asking the ever-grumpy Sakusa how he thinks Kotarou should approach you.

(Akaashi gives much, much more insightful advice than his teammate, of course – telling Kotarou to take things slow and listen to what you want, to let you guide the pace and direction of the relationship. Sakusa merely scoffs and tells him to stop being loud and irritating, and you might have a shot.)

And Kotarou sticks to this advice well in the beginning – establishing a positive connection with you and letting you get comfortable, your friendship blossoming and growing into one that you can foresee being one of your most cherished.

But then elements of his infatuation begin developing, and suddenly that advice gets a bit warped, his understanding of your intentions slowly crumbling away because of one critical, crucial factor: Kotarou grows an incredibly strong sense of attachment towards you.

He’s already quite physically touchy and needy as it is, but as his obsession with you progresses, this dependency morphs into not only the more tactile side of things, but his mental state as well. He quickly grows to absolutely need you in every sense of the word; you’re something that keeps him tethered, grounded. Your love and attention is something that he needs in order to survive, in order to wake up everyday and get himself out of bed because he knows that he’ll get to see you today, to hug you and touch you and maybe even kiss you if he can catch you off guard enough.

Within the span of a few months after he recognizes that his feelings for you are more romantic than platonic, Koutarou’s entire mental health and wellbeing revolves around you and the attention you give him.

The advice of his friends still rings through his head, but he instead begins interpreting your actions as you wanting to foster this dependency of his. He thinks that you’re aware of his brewing feelings, and that you feel the same way – surely that’s what you mean when you always praise him, right? His every action comes back to you; he hits a spike in a match he got you exclusive, front-row player’s box seats for?

Well, he’s immediately peering up into the stands, golden eyes frantically searching for you, and once he spots you he’s waving like a madman, blowing obnoxious kisses at you, proudly exclaiming that was for you babe! And he’ll keep going until you acknowledge him, until you give him a thumbs up and a toothy smile, until you yell back that you’re so proud of you, Ko!

(Of course, the phrasing of ‘babe’ is a bit suspect, but you’ll blame it on mishearing him in the loud, packing stadium.)

When he tries out a new recipe for a particular dish he knows you love, he’s eager to call you, begging you to drop whatever it is you’re doing and swing by his apartment to try because he really, really needs you to say you like it.

(He’ll be watching with rapt attention as you hover the fork to your lips, practically not breathing as he watches you chew and swallow, his palms so sweaty and clammy that he nearly drops the pan in excitement when you compliment the food. Don’t pay attention to the way he gulps loud enough for you to hear, nor the way he grabs you by the waist and spins you around, laughing that booming laugh of his and seeming much too joyous for a simple well-cooked meal.)

Everything comes back to the basic principal that Koutarou just wants desperately to impress you – he thrives on your praise, seeing you proud of him and happy to call him yours, and he’s leaping at each and every possible chance to achieve that, to make you laugh and wrap your arms around him, to whisper into his ear that you’re so proud baby, I know you worked so hard, now what’dya say we go home and I reward you for all that hard work, just how you like it?

He’s committed to being your dream partner, to being someone you can proudly call your own, and he quite literally needs you praise and validation in every aspect of his life to solidify his delusions about the way you feel for him – your opinion is something he values over his own life, your presence something he genuinely believes he can’t live without, and so to have you by his side constantly, always smiling at him and making him feel so giddy and happy is something that Kotarou really honestly needs.

The bottom line is that his entire emotional and mental state rests firmly upon your shoulders, firmly upon your reactions to the things he does for you – so keep that in mind as he rushes up to you with the excitement and energy of a puppy, ranting and raving about how he managed to hit one of Atsumu’s new kinds of tosses or block one of Hinata’s best spikes.

Keep it in mind as he presses you flush against his body, his face buried into your neck, his audible inhale and whimper that vibrates against your skin making a shiver shoot up your spine in anything but pleasure. Keep in mind that now it’s your responsibility to keep Kotarou happy, that your job is essentially to make sure that he stays at least somewhat stable.

(With the pressure coming from the entire management staff of the MSBY team, who’ve realized that Kotarou has a bit of a massive crush on you – you, who isn’t doing the best financially, who could very much not survive a class-action lawsuit for ruining one of their star players.)

And once he’s stolen away, it’s your responsibility to keep him happy so that he keeps leaving the apartment, leaving you, making sure that you have enough food and water to survive, so that his depressive episodes don’t cost you your life.

So really, have fun; because eventually the emotional toll will hit you, but don’t worry because Kotarou will be right there to help pick you up again.

DEALING WITH RIVALS:

Because his jealous streak is really quite strong, Koutarou has a tendency to misinterpret nearly every single interaction you have with a member of the opposite sex.

He’s automatically assuming that everyone is interested in you, that everyone wants to date you and make you smile and kiss you and fuck you, all of which are things that only he should be allowed to do. He’s jumping to conclusions before things really even happen, sure that you’ll somehow be manipulated into leaving him, into leaving the happy, loving relationship you share with him.

It’s a fear that permeates his every moment when he’s away from you (something that is admittedly quite rare, but still), that seeps into the back of his mind no matter how hard he tries to convince himself that you love him, that you’d never cheat on him or trade him in for someone better.

Of course, he trusts you enough to not immediately act upon his jealousy when he notices another man in your vicinity. Rather, he’ll start demanding your attention even more, trying to keep you physically turned away from the stranger and keep your eyes focused only on Kotarou, because if you can’t see the man, the man can’t see you, right?

It’s poor logic, and Kotarou panics the entire time he tries to stall, only able to imagine the way you’d look by this new man’s side.

And at the end of the day, that’s really it – Kotarou knows that he’s not perfect. You, with your lovely figure, beautiful face, wonderful personality, and many talents, could really get any guy of your choice. So why would you want him?

He seems confident, like he has no doubts about himself and his abilities, and for the most part he doesn’t, but there’s just something about you that makes him constantly reanalyze himself, that makes him wonder if he’s really enough, if he could ever really be enough for someone as perfect as you.

Sure he’s athletic, friendly, handsome, kind, but he’s not the number one hitter in the league, not the brightest, not the most charming, not the best looking or most mysterious or funniest or any number of other things that you might find more attractive.

And as time passes this eats away at Kotarou’s mind, driving him insane the longer it occupies the back of his thoughts because he just can’t shake the image of you in another man’s arms, laughing and kissing them and just being so fucking happy without him.

He’s dependent on you to an unhealthy degree, absolutely fixated on the idea of needing you in his life, and so Kotarou doesn’t really hold back in terms of trying to control his jealousy – he knows he needs to step in before you even get the chance to be lulled in by some other man. He needs to interfere before he loses you forever, and while he knows you’re probably embarrassed by how he barges in anytime you talk to someone else, Kotarou doesn’t let it hold him back.

Nothing can hold him back in the face of something as terrifying as losing you.

You’d never pegged Kotarou as one for video games, but when he’d dragged you to the new arcade that opened up a few blocks from his house, he practically seemed like a child in a toystore.

With his hand wrapped tightly around yours, he’d led you through row after row of game machines, golden eyes wide as he pointed to each and every one, promising you that he’d beat this one in two tries, or that one with his eyes closed. It’d been endearing in a way, watching how excited he’d gotten, before he dragged you over to a game in the far corner with especially bright lights and all sorts of noises coming from it.

He’d challenged you, telling you with a booming laugh that he’d bet you couldn’t beat him, a challenge you eagerly accepted. And really, while he’d been mildly embarrassed to sheepishly admit he’d run out of quarters after his fifth try through the game, it didn’t stop him from practically sprinting up to the ticketing counter, digging in his wallet for the largest dollar bill he had on hand to trade in. Leaving you alone at the game, biting your lip and reading over all the cartoon-style text decorating the game’s exterior.

You were so engrossed in the game’s appearance that you didn’t hear the blond man’s calls to you, shy little excuse me’s falling on deaf ears. Soon a tapping at your shoulder tapped you out of your reverie, spinning around to come face to face with a man you’d never seen before. Sandy blond hair and thick rimmed glasses sitting atop a rather brightly colored dress shirt and dark jeans.

Do you know how to play? Even his voice seemed timid, and while you were a bit shocked at his question, you’d only smiled and said no, hoping the man would drop some hints on ways to beat Kotarou – hearing his boasting was worse than hearing his moping, after all.

The man seemed relieved, moving forward to restart the game and talking you through the level, telling you tips on when to jump, which treasure chests were worth more, tricks on how to move the toggle piece, even telling you that the game would sometimes glitch and delete off ten seconds to your total time if you moved just right.

You’d thanked him profusely, excitement brewing in your chest at the thought of how you would crush Kotarou, but the sudden feeling of being watched washed over you and left you stiffening up, no longer paying attention to the stranger’s words.

In less than a moment, you were suddenly pushed from behind, spun around so that your back was pressed against the arcade wall, the breath knocked out of your lungs and Kotarou’s face – fit with a scowl – filling up your entire view.

Your surprised yelp was cut off by him suddenly lunging forward, his lips settling onto yours hard enough to make you flinch a bit. He kissed you roughly, loudly, the sound of wet smacking filling your ears and surely the stranger’s, if his facial expression was anything to go by. With red cheeks and a shocked look spread across his features, the man was quick to stutter an apology and speed off, trying to avoid the sight of Kotarou pressing you tighter against the wall and the sound of his groans and grunts.

As soon as the man was out of sight, Kotarou pulled back, licking his lips and looking at you with something akin to hunger swirling in those golden eyes.

Who was that?

Is all he got out, hands still firmly placed at your waist.

Your shock barred you from answering right away, before a resounding smack rung through his ears, the mild pain of your slap to his chest leaving him winded, the pleasant sensation of you touching him numbing out some of the hot, angry envy in his veins.

What the hell was that, Kotarou? You practically yell at him, the sound drowned out by the ringing of a few games nearby.

Kotarou only sighs, squeezing your sides and fixing you with an unblinking stare.

That man was bothering you, couldn’t he see you were here with me?

At your bewildered look, he merely laughed, one hand coming up to teasingly ruffle your hair. Don’t worry about it, I’m sure he’ll leave us alone for the rest of the day. Now c’mon, I got more quarters – watch me win!

And just like that, he seemed to have forgotten all about the rather heated, intimate moment he’d instigated – all smiles and laughter and taunts for the rest of the day as you shakily and wearily settled by his side, trying to rationalize that perhaps it looked different to an outsider.

Perhaps Kotarou thought the man was bothering you, and was worried he’d only get the hint through extreme measures. And he’s always been a bit extreme and exaggerated, surely he meant nothing by the kiss – even if it had been rather graphic, even if he’d been practically moaning at just the taste of you.

That must be it, you decide, as Kotarou whines and pouts about losing the level once more, begging you to give him just one more try. The small, half-hearted smile you give him is enough permission for him, and just that look settles the raging jealousy in his heart.

You were looking at him again, just as you should be – him and him only.

(And later that night, that’s what’s falling past his lips in a mantra as he vividly remembers the feel of your body in his hands, your lips pressed against his own, the smell of you clouding his every breath.)

TAKING HIS DARLING AWAY:

Kotarou’s infatuation with you is, in most ways, strange.

He’s utterly obsessed, of course – his every waking moment is either revolving around volleyball or you, often times mixing and jumbling up so that he’s imagining all sorts of things that get him grinning like a fool, his cheeks bright red and his breathing too heavy to be considered normal.

(Things like seeing you wear his jersey, for example, or having you toss him a ball that he smacks so hard it hurts, seeing your impressed and flustered expression as he teases you about how strong he is. The kind of thing that makes his chest swell with pride, that makes him bite his lip and clutch at his covers late at night when he’s dreaming and wanting and needing you.)

His feelings for you carelessly breach any sort of trust or boundaries between the two of you, and for the most part Kotarou doesn’t see an issue with this.

Of course you probably don’t like when he checks the tracker he’d installed into your phone, but it’s just for safety and he’s sure you’ll eventually understand! It’s unsafe to let someone like you travel around alone at night (or in the day, or in crowded streets or public parks or even in the safety of your own home-).

He’s just taking an extra precaution to make sure someone’s got an eye on you – he’d be more than happy to install a tracker into his phone for you to keep tabs on his location too, if you’d like. (And oh, he wishes you’d like that.)

You’re probably not the biggest fan of when he wraps an arm around you in public, beaming and planting a wet, long kiss against your temple as he greets you, walking to your favorite coffee shop with his arm still wrapped around you, migrating down to your waist and making walking uncomfortable while he prattles on and on about his latest training regiment.

(And sure, maybe he’s exaggerating just a hair about how much he can bench press, or how fast his serves are, but those golden eyes of his are constantly scanning your expressions, looking for even the slightest hint of awe, analyzing any signs that you’re impressed with his physical prowess, his dedication. Impressed by him, really.)

And so really, Kotarou breaks every physical and intangible barrier and wall that you have down, slowly and bit by bit until you’re so desensitized to his antics and his behavior towards you that you stop questioning it. You’re not exactly supportive of the possessive, overly clingy way he treats you, but it’s just Kotarou, so really how harmful can it be? He’s just a silly, overgrown puppy of a man, and why should you ever be afraid of him?

And Kotarou’s feelings towards your living situation reflect this sentiment – that is, he absolutely does not want to kidnap you.

Not only does he find the term entirely unapplicable to your situation if he were to steal you away (because he’s convinced that on some core level you’d actually be pleased, like you want him to whisk you away and keep you wrapped up in his apartment as his little housewife), but it leaves an unpleasant taste in his mouth to imagine keeping you cooped up in one place all the time.

He loves to be out with you, to take you to markets and restaurants and movies and all sorts of other things – he likes having you out in public. It stresses him out a bit, yes, constantly being vigilant and aware of any man that tries to approach you, but by and large he finds that he enjoys your company most and enjoys showing you off most when you’re not all alone at home.

That isn’t to say that he dislikes cozy movie nights spent on his couch with now-cold takeout sprawled across the table, but there’s just something special about seeing you laugh so hard you cry because of him in a busy, sunny street café where everyone can see just how entertained you are by him.

(Those cozier evenings are of course favorites of him, though, because he gets to see a more intimate side of you – when you get sleepy and your eyes start drooping, he has to physically hold himself back from cooing and squishing your cheeks. And especially when you fall asleep on his shoulder or shift just right so that he worm his way into your arms, noticing how your flimsy sleeping shorts ride up just a hair to expose the lower curve of your ass, his mouth is left watering and his own shorts feel uncomfortably tight – something he'd be absolutely crazy to dislike.)

And so, Kotarou will hold off for as long as possible on stealing you away, just for the selfish reason of being able to drag you to all his games, to pretty dates (that you aren’t aware are dates, of course, but that’s just a technicality), to keep you happy and excited and free by his side.

But if things were to go south and you started to really critically analyze his behavior and decide that you don’t want to remain in his life?

Well, Kotarou has never quite felt panic like when you swing by his apartment one last time to announce that you’re moving away. He’s never quite felt a level of dismay like when you tell him you’ll be blocking his number because he’s made you uncomfortable, or when you tell him you’ll be crashing at a male friend’s place.

And really, that last portion is the kicker – it sends Kotarou’s mind spiraling, panic engulfing him and leading him to grab you, his hands shaking as he holds you, eyes flashing as he drags you to his bedroom, holding you down on the bed and using a spare t-shirt to tie up your wrists and ankles.

He’s never known fear like this before, and as he stares down at you – writhing, looking at him with tears in your eyes, looking at him –

He’s never quite known excitement like this before, either.

As a captor, Kotarou isn’t terrible – with one glaring exception: he’s needy. You’ve known this for as long as you’ve known him, but once you’re trapped in his home this is only amplified, the clinginess getting worse and worse because you have no way to dissuade his touchiness, no way to distract him away with outside people and activities.

No, now it’s strictly you and him – which is heaven for Kotarou, exactly what he’s been fantasizing about come to life.

Unfortunately for you, this means excessive time spent together and a lot of physical contact. Though his delusions aren’t quite deep enough to fully mask the fact that you’re unhappy, Kotarou is able to chalk up your lack of enthusiasm for things you did pre-kidnapping as you simply being moody, shy, womanly.

It’s infuriating how much he blames your behavior on your hormones and menstrual cycle.

He’s practically impossible to deal with once your period begins, his touches soft and gentle and nearly scared, treating you like you’re some breakable, delicate piece of treasure that can’t do anything on your own.

He’ll cook meals for you, then promptly bring the chopsticks up to your mouth and say ahh, smiling like a fool as he guides the ramen past your lips, nodding enthusiastically when you chew.

He’ll hold your hand and help you walk around the apartment, big eyes wide and worried when you near any corners, terrified that you’ll somehow hurt yourself because you’re distracted with cramp pain or simply having brain fog. And really, it would be endearing how earnestly he’s trying to make you comfortable and provide for you during your time of the month, but there’s something truly humiliating about the level of disregard he feels for your complaints, simply smiling lopsidedly at you and telling you don’t worry, I’ll make it all better! I’ve got some of that chocolate you like, you want some? I can heat up your heating pad too, and we can watch some old reruns of my games – you’d like that, right? You like watching me play, yeah?

And really, that’s the main thing with Kotarou – the level of care and attention he both gives to you and demands from you is incredibly draining.

The constant feeling of walking on eggshells around him is enough to have your mind running in circles, constantly worried that you’ll say the wrong thing about his personality or his actions and have him moping, convinced that you’re just being mean because you’re disappointed in him, that you’re just playing hard to get because he hasn’t been treating you like you deserve. And so how does he respond to this?

By giving you more attention, swamping you with questions and touches and all sorts of things for the two of you to do together. He’s always forcing you onto the couch to try out a new video game Akinori mentioned when he last ran into him, or watching a scary movie and clutching onto you for dear life at every jump scare.

(He thinks it’s romantic, but the slight bruising left on your thighs and sides from his very, very tight grip are less sweet.)

He’s just generally so very out of touch with how you’re feeling that it’s infuriating – but you have to be careful, because everything you do and say will only cause him to grasp onto you tighter, clutching onto you with more strength than you can handle because his entire mental wellbeing is still resting firmly on your shoulders. He forces you to sleep in bed beside him, waking up to you tangled in his arms every morning, starting his day off right and making it slightly easier to leave you for early morning trainings.

(He has to wake up with you every morning or else he feels like something’s off, his performance severely lacking and the only thing that can fix it being excessive affection from you – something a bit difficult to come by.)

He forces you to share meals with him because it gives him a reason to unabashedly stare at you (though he does this anyway, frequently) and watch as you eat the food he provided you. He has to be the sole one cooking or buying you take out, because it feeds the narrative he’s crafted in his head that he’s your provider, that he’s taking care of you, that he’s being a good male partner and spoiling his perfect little wife.

(Of course, you may not be married yet, but to Kotarou it’s just a matter of time – you’re already entwined in every possible way, living together and spending every waking moment together, so why bother with formal ceremonies and official titles when he can just buy a diamond and slip onto your finger with a toothy grin and a much too long and much too detailed declaration of his love? Of course, if you want the ceremony he’d be more than willing to give it to you, but he’s content with the knowledge that you’re his and his alone already.)

So really, if you can handle his hands constantly being on you, his lips always pressed against your skin, his voice always ringing in your ears, and his presence always a looming shadow over you demanding your praise and attention and time, Kotarou isn’t terrible.

There’s shades of genuine love in how he treats you – the gentleness in his touches, the tenderness of his compliments, the way he’ll moan into your ear the most adoring, utterly pathetic things as he settles himself between your legs.

There’s evidence that he truly loves you in some horrible, twisted way, but it all just feels like too much. Too forceful, too desperate, too passionate, too him.

But no amount of trying to get through to him will ever change the way he treats you, or ever persuade him into loosing the metaphorical lease he keeps you on – you’re his, and no matter how hard you try Kotarou will always firmly believe that fate has brought you together.

And isn’t that so romantic?

PUNISHMENTS:

In general, it’s rare for Kotarou to get genuinely angry at you.

Of course he has his highs and lows – he may be unwilling to seriously listen to your complaints or insults hurled at him, but he’s not inhuman. He still knows that you’re being mean – criticizing him and visibly displeased with him, and just that fact alone has his eyes drooping, guilt, self-pity and shame resting heavily on his shoulders.

His delusions about your feelings for him bar him from fully comprehending that your anger lies in the fact that he’s kidnapped you rather than not cuddling with you the night before, but he can still tell that something is amiss. He doesn’t like when you aren’t smiling and happy, when you’re bothered and troubled, when you aren’t acting like you used to, back before he relocated you to his apartment.

It’s upsetting, really, and it leaves Kotarou desperate to figure out how to get a grin back onto your lips, how to make you laugh, how to please you again. A lot of Kotarou’s anger and punishments stem from a place of insecurity and worry about your perception of him – he’s really quite sensitive, especially coming from someone he idolizes and reveres as much as you, and so his solutions to any sort of non-desirable behavior from you is to simply try harder.

It’s seemed to have worked in his career – hours upon hours upon hours spent lagging after practices to work on his spikes just a bit more, to serve just a few more balls, to get just a bit better.

And he applies this same principle with you – he’d rather pull his nails off one by one than physically hurt you or deny you of food and water or leave you all alone or any number of things he could do to force your codependency on him to become stronger.

And so, Kotarou wracks his brain for any and all possibilities on how to get you to like him more, on how to make you happy, on how to be a better boyfriend.

And frankly, it results in a much, much worse time for you.

If you thought Kotarou was clingy before you yelled at him for installing locks on his windows, then he’s downright glued to your side afterwards, his breath constantly fanning on your cheeks and his voice seemingly never ending as it rings over and over and over in your ears.

If you thought being in the same room as him was difficult before you slapped him across the face for giving your ass a playful squeeze, it’s nothing compared to how he plants more and more kisses onto your unwilling lips, leaving pretty dresses and lacy lingerie out on your (forcefully shared) bed for you, the way he starts piling on the compliments with such frequency and urgency that it nearly makes you sick.

Kotarou has always been a lot, truly, and once his feelings for you are thrown into the mix he becomes too much – and when you’re angry at him, ignoring him or hurling insults at him or denying his affection?

Well, the sadness quickly dissipates into fear, anxiety eating at every inch of his body because what if you hate him now?

You’re meant for one another, sure, but what if he’s messed it all up by not being enough for you?

It’s the stuff of nightmares, and in order to correct it he’ll instead become your nightmare.

You hear him before you see him – his keys jingle loudly in his pocket, the rhythmic noises of the padlock on the front door locking back up sounding too familiar now. You’re sitting at the dining table, staring down at the new book Kotarou had gifted you a week ago – you’ve read it twice already in that span of time, but as his footsteps approach the kitchen area, you resolve to read it once again.

His voice is loud as he calls your name, and you can hear the smile on his face as his footsteps quicken, his pace nearly turning to a run as he approaches you. His arms are around you before you can stop them, his words already pouring out as he starts telling you all about his day, rambling on about how Meian and Hinata had promised to take Kotarou out to a new bar later this week.

He’s still hugging you as he goes on to tell you that it’s supposed to be super good, I’ll have to let you know how it is! Maybe I can bring something home for you – I know your favorite’s always been –

Your mouth is moving before you can even really stop yourself, the words seeming to burst out without your control. Don’t tell me about all your plans in the outside world – not when I’m stuck here wasting away in this fucking apartment.

Your voice is low, uneven, and immediately Kotarou tenses, his eyebrows drawing together into a pout. What are you talking about? I just want to bring you a good drink and maybe we can watch that trashy rom-com you love and –

You cut him off again by harshly shaking off his arms from around you, moving your elbows out in an attempt to get him off of you.

Don’t you get it? I don’t want you to get me a drink! I don’t want you to do anything for me – you need to let me go, Kotarou. You can’t keep me stuck here forever! I should be out there getting a drink too, and going to the fucking store and seeing my friends and living my life! You’re – you’re a terrible person, and I hate you!

Your chest is heaving by the time you finish your spiel, having started off in that same low tone but eventually getting to a yell. He’d backed off of you, watching you with wide eyes and a dropped jaw, his mind racing and trying to understand what you could possibly mean.

Stuck here? What were you saying?

You were happy here – you always return his hugs and his kisses and let him pull you closer to his chest at night and laugh at his jokes and smile at him and say you love him to and and and –

He moves back towards you, going to wrap his arms around you again, but this time you stand up and scurry off to the other end of table and now Kotarou can see the way your eyes are glossy, how you’re on the verge of tears and your lip is trembling.

Leave me alone, I can’t stand you! Not after what you’ve done to me!

And with that, you turn tail and run off to the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind you. Behind the door your hands shake, the tears finally falling as you slide down the wood, landing in a sitting position and cursing Kotarou for not putting locks on the interior doors.

A fresh wave of tears falls down your cheeks as you realize you can’t even use the toilet in peace, not without the constant, lingering threat of him watching you. It’s too much, and soon your head is in your hands, sobs wracking your body.

Meanwhile, Kotarou is still standing frozen, his heart and mind racing because you’re obviously upset. He doesn’t know why you’re overreacting like this, but the image of you with tears in your eyes pulls at his heartstrings, prompting him to rush and grab his car keys once more, flying out the front door and practically speeding to the nearest store, his grocery cart full.

He’s home roughly twenty minutes later, tears already pooling in his own eyes because the more he’s thought about the state you’re in the more he comes to the conclusion that it’s his fault, that he must’ve made you angry or sad and now he has to fix it.

He has to show you that you don’t hate him – you’re just having a rough day, that’s all. You’re just sad that he’s been gone all day and hasn’t been home to give you the proper love and care that you deserve. His fingers grip the steering wheel tightly even to leave his knuckles white, his teeth grinding and gritting together as he presses down on the gas gauge just a hair harder, desperation and guilt weighing heavily in his chest because god, he hates seeing you so upset.

And as he races back up to the apartment with all the groceries in his arms, he’s quick to wrap his fist against the bathroom door, asking in a breathless voice if you’re okay or if you’re hurt.

You’re still quietly crying, sniffling heavily and trying to ignore him as he knocks again. He knows he could bust the door open, easily overpowering you and giving him direct access to you, but the hurt look in your eyes flashes through his mind again and he decides against it. No, he needs to prove that he’s good enough at reading you and figuring out what you need – he needs to prove himself to you, to make you like him again.

He calls your name through the door again, before resting his forehead against the wood and wincing. I’m sorry for whatever I did, baby, I promise I didn’t mean it!

He hears you scoff at that, and bites his lip.

You know me, sometimes I just get carried away! I never meant to make you upset, you’ve got to know that. He pauses, shifting around the bags in his arms. You mean so much to me, I love you. I love you more than I think I should, but it’s okay! I’ll be better for you, I promise. I’ll be a better boyfriend and I’ll make you happy. Just – you just have to let me try, okay? Please baby, let me try.

It’s silent for a moment, and Kotarou’s chest feels tight.

Please, he tries one last time.

And although you know you shouldn’t and that you’ll regret it, some small part of you almost feels bad as you hear him sniffle through the wood, the sound of him crying obvious. You bite your lip, a small voice in the back of your head quietly wondering if you should believe him.

After all, does he really make you that unhappy? He’s always so eager and pathetically excited when you smile at him, and is it really so bad to have someone give you all their attention and time? You’re ashamed to admit some part of you almost likes it, and soon your body is moving before you can stop it.

The door opens and Kotarou’s heart is in his throat, the sight of you with red, puffy eyes and your lip caught between your teeth making something between a sigh of relief and a whimper slip from him.

The multitude of bags precariously balanced in his arms immediately have your eyes widening, the names of your favorite snacks peeking through the sacks and making that same pang in your heart twist again, the knowledge that he went out and bought all of this for you just because you were sad forcing you to take a step forward.

You don’t say anything, and Kotarou stares at you with wide eyes, a wild sort of look overtaking his parted lips and pink cheeks, and when you mumble something small, he has to physically strain himself to hear you.

You repeat your favorite drink, swallowed harshly and struggling to make eye contact with him. He mouths it back to himself, before slowly, shyly, smiling down at you.

You won’t regret, I promise! He laughs, the sound relieved, dropping all of the shopping bags on the ground and immediately scooping you into his arms, hugging you so tightly you nearly can’t breath, all the while that familiar, chiming laughter fills your ears.

I love you, I love you, I love you he repeats into your ear, keeping you close and occasionally squeezing tighter.

And even as something crumbles up inside you, you find yourself wrapping your arms around him too, shoving your face against his chest and nodding, your words muffled as you murmur the smallest I love you, too back.

And Kotarou can only beam down at you, repeating the phrase over and over until all the words start slurring together, until all you can do is slowly relax into the warmth of his arms, into the feeling of someone completely and utterly loving you.

OVERALL DANGER:

6/10

Kotarou is less dangerous and honestly more pathetic than anything else.

He’s a fully grown man who’s desperate for someone to love, whose desperation becomes so deeply ingrained in his feelings towards you that he clutches onto you and never lets go.

Reading into your feelings festers delusions about how you feel towards him, feeding him pretty lies about how you really feel and what your actions really mean.

He builds a relationship between the two of you in his head, growing closer and more intimate with you than socially acceptable for a friendship, becoming more and more dependent on you and the praise you so willingly give him.

It’s heaven, really, and it leaves Kotarou blinded to the ugly side of his obsession.

He’s clingy and overly possessive, always touching you and calling you his and making sure that everyone sees the two of you together – that everyone knows that you’re his woman and he’s your man.

He wants to make sure that your relationship – fake or not – is idyllic, that you’re so happy with him that you could never even dream of wanting another man, never even entertain the notion of needing anyone else because Kotarou is everything you could ever want.

And while he won’t explicitly acknowledge any behavior that clashes with the pretty image of you and your love that he’s crafted in his head, he’s not immune to your negative reception of his touches and his rather aggressive affection.

You’ll have to walk on eggshells around him, careful to keep him from falling deeply into a spiral that could lead to your own slow demise being trapped under his thumb.

It’s stressful, a lifestyle that’ll leave you haggard and spent, tired to the point where slowly it will stop feeling like an act to return his hugs, to compliment his muscles, to tell him that you missed him while he was away at work.

It will feel less and less like a lie, the words slipping off your tongue so easily that it’ll leave you scared.

Because really, while Kotarou is overbearing and quite honestly scary with the way he barrels forwards and takes whatever he wants from you, eventually you’ll find yourself less and less angry, and more and more complacent. It could be worse, couldn’t it?

You have a warm bed to sleep in, a roof over your head, and food to eat.

And the man that holds you flush to his chest in said bed, pays the rent for said roof, and hand-selects only meals he knows you like can’t possibly be that bad, right?

After all, doesn’t it feel good to be needed?

#_kotarou bokuto #_lee's profiles #_haikyuu #yandere haikyuu #yandere bokuto #yandere kotaro bokuto #yandere kotarou bokuto #yandere haikyuu x reader #yandere bokuto x reader #yandere kotarou bokuto x reader

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kolyasangel · 4 months

Text

five more minutes?

synopsis: you convince sigma to spend a little more time with you in his office which leads to something unexpected...

content: fem!reader, a bit of fluff, nsfw, dom!sigma, mdni

When all in the world felt wrong, the only haven you could fall back to was in Sigma's arms. His warm embrace and intoxicating scent were unparalleled, providing you with comfort like no other. You felt like you were floating on clouds as you lay on his chest, listening to his heartbeat and breathing that were synced with yours. Sigma looked down at you with a smile, cherishing the adorable sight of you so comfortable, eyes closed while lying on his chest. He gently smoothed your hair and placed a tender kiss on your forehead. It was difficult for him to leave, feeling so cozy being with you, but he had responsibilities to attend to as the manager of his casino.

"Love.. I have to leave now.." He hesitantly said before sitting up from the loveseat, being careful not to startle or hurt you.

"Where do you think you're going?" You slowly opened your eyes, tugging on his tie before he could stand up, eliciting a squeak from Sigma.

"I was going to go back to work, dear.."

"Nooo, stay with me for five more minutes. Please?" You put on your best puppy eyes to sway him into staying longer with you, still grasping onto his tie, feeling the silky material underneath your fingertips.

"But-" He involuntarily sighed as your adorable eyes begged him to stay. It was impossible not to say yes to you.

"Just a few minutes? Then you can go back to bossing around your employees."

He laughed before wrapping his arms around you and pulling you close, burying his face in your neck.

"I'm not that mean, am I?"

You smiled and wrapped your arms around him, feeling grateful that he had decided to stay by your side despite the responsibilities calling out to him. You knew very well that he was busy, but it wasn't like you planned on keeping him for too long, just a few minutes is all. Sigma was a hardworking man and he could use a longer break anyway, you thought.

"Not at all Sigma, you're an amazing manager, so kind and understanding. You're a wonderful person in general."

His face lit up with a smile and a blush as he received your compliment and attentively listened as you continued to speak.

"But you can still be stern when you want things done, and honestly, I find it incredibly hot when you're all commanding and authoritative."

"H-Huh?" His jaw dropped in disbelief and his ears reddened more when he heard the words come out of your mouth.

"What? I think you're a sexy manager." You traced your finger across his jawline enticingly.

"There's no way you're being serious.. I-I'm not that.. that.." He refused to believe he was that attractive to you and resorted to hiding his face with his sleeves in embarrassment. His humility and timid demeanor were qualities you always admired and found endearing.

"Have some more confidence in yourself, baby, you're so handsome." You whispered in his ear, shifting his arms away from his face and kissing his flushed cheeks. Sigma had no choice but to face you again and deal with the position you had put him in. He felt so shy whenever it came to you speaking about his physical appearance, never wanting to accept any of your compliments out of modesty. You seducing him didn't make the situation any better, as he knew very well that this was going somewhere and he didn't know how to feel about it considering he was in his workplace. Usually, when he had urges, he would try to contain himself as much as possible before returning home to you at the end of the day. But he found it difficult to restrain his burning desire when his hands snaked around your waist as you crawled onto his lap. You're just too tempting.

"You should boss me around like that sometimes.." You bit on the shell of his ear teasingly to rile him up even more.

You had no idea what you had just awoken in him.

It seemed like he was starved of affection the way Sigma glanced at you with lustful eyes before his soft lips collided against yours hungrily. He was unable to form a single coherent thought before his tongue sneaked its way inside your mouth. You had given him the green light, allowing him to release all he had previously held back. He pushed you down on the couch, placing himself on top of you. You kissed back and started to palm him through his trousers, causing him to moan into your mouth. The bulge growing in his pants didn't go unnoticed as you felt it against your hand, the same hand that soon wandered with the intent to undo his pant zipper until he stopped you, grabbing your hand.

"Not yet." He drew away from your lips and sat up, pulling you up as well. You were confused as to why he halted your advances abruptly and pouted.

"On your knees." Sigma stated in a firm tone, and your eyes widened before you obliged, kneeling in front of him on the floor. The sudden shift in his behavior and his deep voice caught you off guard, as unexpected as it was, but you couldn't deny the short rush of excitement you felt in your veins as he took your request seriously.

He softly lifted your chin, guiding your gaze to meet his. His captivating gray eyes seemed to hold a different intensity than usual, perhaps a hint of desire mingled with the familiar softness.

"Tell me how badly you want it."

This side of Sigma both surprised and aroused you at the same time. A surge of nervousness washed over you as you gazed at him with pleading doe eyes, your hands resting on your knees, begging him with your cute expression to the best of your ability.

"Use your words, darling." He looked down at you with intimidating eyes and pulled you closer so both of your foreheads were touching as he looked into your eyes intensely.

"Please let me touch you, Sigma. I need you, I promise I'll be the one leaving you begging for more." You told him as your hand found itself in shorter pieces of his hair, watching your fingers run through the smooth strands like silk as he backed away from you slowly.

"Oh? Such a bold claim. Why don't you show me what you need from me then?" He spoke patronizingly, spreading his legs slightly, finally allowing your hands to roam his body as you please.

Your hands inched to unzip his pants and slowly rubbed your knuckles against his clothed bulge, earning a whimper from Sigma. Dragging your hands over his abdomen and soft abs, teasing and causing him to squirm before pulling his underwear down and releasing his hard cock, relishing the sight before you.

You ogle at the view, his erect cock already glistening with excitement, carefully trailing your fingers along his shaft and giving the tip a lick to provoke him further. He lets out a low whimper as his legs twitch, fingers running through your hair, each teasing lick driving him further to the edge than the last. You take him in your mouth and gently swallow him as his head rolls back.

"That's it.. just like that." He shivers, his eyes rolling back into his skull, and head falling back against the couch. His hands frantically tangled in your hair, desperate to grip onto something and have you even closer to him. Your hands trail over his pale thighs, gripping them while your nails dig into his pale skin.

"Use those hands." He said callously, trying hard to maintain composure, though that seemed easier said than done as he was already falling apart under your touch. To his dismay, the stone-cold demeanor he put on still couldn't hide the fact that Sigma was incredibly sensitive, which proved to be correct as you slid your tongue up and down his shaft. Your hands curled around his cock after he told you to, hard at work as you stroked and sucked him off simultaneously.

His hips bucked forward while he held onto the back of your head, forcing you to swallow more of him and triggering your gag reflex as his tip brushed the back of your throat.

"I-I'm sorry love.." He let go of your head so you could retract just enough to breathe. His eyes softened as he looked down at you, admiring your pretty face, not minding how obscene you looked in this moment.

“Feels so good..” He whined as he tightened his grip on your hair. Up to this point, the two of you tried your hardest to keep your voices down, but even Sigma had nearly forgotten where the both of you were, groaning as you lightly grazed your teeth on his cock. A small smirk tugged his lips, his gray irises boring into your glassy ones as saliva dripped from your mouth as you focused on the task at hand.

"Sweetheart.. mm- 's too much, can I cum soon?"

You nodded in agreement while feeling his whole body quivering in pure ecstasy as you sucked him off and stroked him faster, flinging his head back again and biting his lip to stifle any lewd noises from coming out. He's so pretty. You eyed him and the way his brows knit together as he gazed lecherously down at the stunning sight of you in between his legs.

Sigma's cock twitched just before you felt your throat fill with warmth, overflowing to the brim with some dribbling from your lips. Immediately, he drew you closer to his chest, kissing you again before even giving himself time to come down from his high. His panting and shivering sent chills up your spine, even more so when he kissed the crown of your head before his lips brushed against your ear, whispering sweet nothings into your ear and praises to let you know how good you've been for him.

"Are you okay?" His gentle eyes were so cute as he rubbed your head affectionately before kissing you on the forehead. Sigma couldn't help but feel a pang in his heart when he noticed your tear-stained cheeks as his slender fingers caressed your face, thinking he might've caused you any pain or discomfort.

"I'm okay.." You reassured him with a soft smile, thinking about how adorable the way he prioritized your comfort was.

"I'm sorry if I was too ro-" He couldn't finish as someone else interrupted.

"Manager?" A voice came from behind the office door, thankfully locked. Sigma instinctively pulled you close to him. He recognized the voice of one of his dear employees and cleared his throat, trying to discard any trace of hesitation and nervousness in his voice before he responded.

"Yes?"

"Is everything alright? I heard you in pain or something and I thought I should check on you."

"I'm okay! I just hit my knee against my desk. You can go back to work now, thank you."

"Yes, sir!" The footsteps gradually fading away from the door made Sigma sigh in relief, relieved that the employee decided not to question any further. You giggled at the situation as you glanced at Sigma.

"Do I get a promotion, manager?" You teased, playing with a few purple strands of his hair as you sat back on his lap.

"S-Stop it.. we're alone you know, so you don't have to call me that."

"Oh, I know.. but I also know it turns you on like crazy.." You felt him getting rock hard again against your thigh, and you couldn't stop yourself from grinding against him, your panties getting more and more soaked with every movement.

Maybe an additional five minutes, or longer, wouldn't hurt.

#fari's catalog 𝜗𝜚 #keep it a secret 𝜗𝜚 #bungou stray dogs x reader #bsd x reader #bsd x female reader #sigma imagines #bsd sigma x reader #sigma x reader #bsd smut #bungo stray dogs x reader

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gingerjolover · 11 months

Text

Ariana! What are you doing here? - Julien Baker x fem!reader

Synopsis: soft!gf is doing jb's makeup on halloween and she just can't sit still (hc, soft!gf is pete 😭)

G's notes: okay like always, a bunch of requests combined! also had to throw in some switch!julien for y'all, she's a natl treasure

wc: somewhere around 1k (probs like 980)

warnings: RPF, makeup!julien, ariana grande!julien, subby!julien, soft!gf as pete, smutty-ish talk, no fundamental physical descriptors?

"You're going to poke my fucking eye out, princess," Julien grumbles, moving her head away quickly, her lips in an annoyed frown.

"Are you this difficult for the makeup artists working on photoshoots, or just for me?" you reply sassily, two fingers under Julien's chin, lifting her head up.

"Don't be a baby JB," Lucy says through the phone. Julien stares at the phone on the bathroom counter to her left, glaring at it as if Lucy could see her expression.

"Are you guys almost ready? We'll be there in like 10," Phoebe's voice carries through the phone.

"If Jay stops wiggling and actually lets me do their wings, we'll be ready by the time you get here," you grumble, causing Julien to pout.

"You're going to poke my eye out!"

"Baby, I do this all the time; I'm not gonna poke your eye out," you say, exasperated.

"We'll be there in 10, and then we'll pin her down," Lucy teases, Julien shaking her head quickly.

"No you will do no such thing, I'll-I'll stay still, I swear," Julien promises, staring straight at you, eyes softening when she makes direct eye contact. You smile softly, index finger and thumb gripping her chin as you pull her into a kiss; it's a small kiss but one you've put all of your gratefulness and adoration into. Julien feels it as you pull away; she knows how badly you want to make this costume work. Originally, she was stoked...when she thought she was going to be Pete... but the way your eyes looked up at her, smile so big when you had a plan where she was Ariana, how could she say no?

You're staring at her, a crooked smile on your face when you see her lost in thought. "I'm being still baby, just...get it over with, quickly," she grumbles again. You giggle loudly, holding her cheeks and jaw, very carefully (and expertly), drawing cute little wings on her eyes.

"Julien's being quiet which either means baby's killed her or she's finally sitting still," Phoebe snickers along with Lucy.

"Shut up, I can't move," Julien grits out, impossibly still.

Lucy and Phoebe laugh loudly on the other line, your giggles soft but matching theirs. "Don't laugh when you have that shit near my eye," Julien exclaims as you step back, looking at her face. Seeing Julien with makeup always throws you through a loop. "You look pretty," you murmur, Julien's face flushing instantly.

"Blegh," Phoebe gags over the phone.

"Shut up," Julien nags.

You grab the comb to start fixing her baby hairs, Julien's hair already fitted with extensions and a ponytail, a massive sweatshirt on her body. It's like she forgot the previous conversation because she can't stop squirming.

"Julien, sit still!" "My hair feels like 8,000 pounds, babe, my fucking neck hurts!"

"Listening to this is tortuous, you know?" Lucy comments, tone even, you giggle imagining her and Phoebe's deadpan faces.

"How did you guys get on with your costumes? Luce did you find some heels?" you ask, giving Julien a look, asking Lucy to speak almost as a distraction while you hold your girlfriend's head.

Lucy starts to talk about her journey to finding specific parts of her costume, Phoebe interjecting a few times. Julien squirms when you gel down her baby hairs.

You grab her chin, giving her a stern look, leaning into her ear. "Stop moving or you can forget about fucking me tonight, let me finish this," you sneer, voice unusually dominant. You pull back, Julien's eyes are wide, mouth parted open. You look at her with mocking wide eyes, a quick shake of your head as if to say "are we clear?".

"Yes, ma'am," Julien murmurs, both of your voices quiet enough not to be heard on the other line.

"Well, I'm glad you found them thrifting Luce. I feel like you got really lucky," you say sweetly, your voice returning to its soft tone. Julien feels like she has whiplash, her entire body heating up. First, how did you even hear what Lucy was saying? And second, why did you threatening her make her sweat? She clenches her thighs together, keeping her body as stiff as a board until you spray her hair with hairspray and clip in some barrettes.

"Okay, we are like 5 minutes away, so we'll see you?" Lucy asks.

"I'm coming in to use the bathroom," Phoebe says quickly.

"No problem, doors unlocked, see y'all soon," you say sweetly before hanging up, leaving Julien sitting on the bathroom counter as you go to grab her heeled boots.

Julien sits there stunned, watching you in the track pants and big t-shirt, hair up, big flannel swallowing your body. You come back, kneeling down in front of her, unzipping the heel.

"What?" you ask, eyes looking up at her. She can feel her insides stir, hating that all you have to do is look up at her for her briefs to be soaked.

"Nothing, I'm being still," Julien says cautiously, pausing between each word as if she's never spoken before. The threat of not ending the night between your thighs enough to keep her still and quiet.

You scoff softly, shaking your head as you get her feet into the boots. You hold out your hands, helping her hop down, letting her get used to standing taller. You start to clean up behind her, her hands in the sleeves of the sweatshirt.

"I was really still there, at the end...I-I did really good," she says, almost like she's trying to convince the both of you.

"Oh, you were being good? Is that what being good is?" you say, throwing words she's said to you before back at her. Her eyes widen again, almost comically, jaw dropping softly.

You turn around, giggling, your usually dominant girlfriend absolutely dumbfounded. "Your makeup looks pretty," you murmur, kissing her lips softly. She eagerly presses herself against you, chasing your lips. You laugh as you pull away, wiping her lips with your thumb. "Maybe if you're good tonight, I'll ruin it later."

#anon cutie requested #julien baker x reader #julien baker mini fic #boygenius x reader #boygenius mini fic #ariana grande!julien #julien lowkey a switch tho #we got subby!jules tonight yippeeee #soft!gf can be a dom if she wants to be #wait i kinda feel back on my game #i like this one <3

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moronkombat · 11 months

Note

Hi :) I hope you're doing well. I was hoping if you could write pregnancy and dad headcanons for my hubby, Kenshi. He is ideal father material. I doubt Kenshi could truly settle down with his past coming back to haunt him. My man would stress 24/7.

tw: pregnancy

The pregnancy was unplanned and unexpected

Kenshi was not planning on have children anytime soon with all that is going on in his life

He always practiced safe sex or at least he thought he has but clearly it is not always foolproof

Your symptoms started quickly and you took a test immediately. The test, all the five after that didn't lie. You were pregnant

Telling Kenshi was difficult. Not only because of you nerves but because he is gone frequently. He isn't home when you find out nor is he home for the next couple following weeks

When he returns, Kenshi picks up on your nervousness rather quickly and he begins to pester you to tell him what's bothering you

He thinks you are so nervous because someone has threatened you or found out where you live but then you tell him you are pregnant and Kenshi loses all words

Standing there silently, he cannot move. He cannot speak. He cannot breath. Kenshi can only stand there and feel an emotion he cannot put the name to

It's only when he hears you crying does he act. He takes you into an embrace, cradling the crook of your neck as you cry

He is silent for awhile before he tells you that everything will be alright and that he will take of you and the baby

Kenshi wants to be there every moment of your pregnancy but you both know that is impossible but he still tries

While he may not be able to physically be there, he calls you frequently to check in on you. He will go through a great many burner phones in order to do so

He often worries about if you are on your feet too much, if you're getting enough to eat or if you are feeling sick. Kenshi wants nothing more than to be with you in those moments

To hold your hair back, as you suffer from the dreaded morning sickness or to rub your feet as they grow sore but it is not often he gets those opportunities

When he is home, you are not to lift a finger or be on your feet. He makes sure you are taken care of

He cooks all your meals and takes care of all the housework while he is home with you

Most of the time he cannot be there when you go to the doctor appointments but you often have him listen in over the phone

He is able to make it to one visit to the doctor and its when you find out the sex of the baby

Kenshi is happy with either sex and is mostly just wanting a healthy child and a heathy spouse

Things seem to be well but you enter labor early, about 2 weeks earlier than expected and you're rushed to the hospital

Kenshi is given word of your condition and, despite knowing he shouldn't, rushes to be with you

He doesn't care if someone sees him or if the Yakuza find out. All he cares about is being by your side when your child is born

It's a close call but he makes it and when he holds your baby in his arms, he actually sobs and drops to his knees. He's so happy and so full of love for this small and vulnerable infant

As a Father, he is largely off working and cannot be there often and he hates that

His office is full of pictures of you and your baby

He wants to know how the baby is doing and all the milestones they will go through so he calls and video chats as much as he can

You will put him on the phone with your baby and Kenshi talks to them so sweetly and loving

When Kenshi is home, he is constantly holding your baby. He just can't put them down and so he won't

He reads to them, plays with them and kisses them goodnight. At times he will fall asleep righting up against the crib where your baby is sleeping

Kenshi is a very affectionate father when he can be available but he is often not available for long periods of time

You make a scrapbook about Kenshi that you show and show to your child every day so that they may know him even if they cannot see him

#mortal kombat #mk1 2023 #mortal kombat fanworks #mortal kombat headcanons #mk1 #mortal kombat x reader #kenshi takahashi #kenshi x reader

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carionto · 11 months

Text

Humans and "Bragging rights"

Humans perform some strange activities. One of the most baffling is mountain climbing.

They see one of the most hostile and fatal planet-side environmental features and go "I can beat that." as though a natural formation was somehow an opponent they have a personal vendetta against.

It is not a healthy and productive exercise - gyms and proper nutrition and rest cycles in an artificially controlled environment are factually better in every way. Although we've heard of some lunatics pushing even those to ridiculous extremes.

It is also not some impossible to reach cave system or underwater river or whatever - their own space ships, literally all of them, can easily fly up to any mountain top. A current trend among Human teenagers is to vertically park their parent's (often secretly) borrowed vessels nose to peak and take an upside down selfie.

It is, however, according to Humans anyway, a personal achievement. Something you do because you want to because it's there to be done. Another Human, who was less enthused in their explanation, called it bragging rights. Basically handicap yourself to do a thing in a more difficult way for the sake of telling others you did it to feel good about yourself. Apparently many do find it impressive.

Admittedly, it is, sort of. It is remarkable the skills involved, determination and perseverance required, the physical and mental toll suffered, to scale a nigh impossible vertical climb, with decreasing breathable atmosphere, thus requiring additional supplies carried along for the whole endeavor, further increasing the demand on their body.

They speak of elation and a grand sense of accomplishment upon reaching the summit, their enthusiasm captures our imagination and almost makes some of us try. However, no. It still seems pretty pointless, but the Humans are happy, so uhh, we guess that's just that. Good for them. Try not to die. Some do though. We might never understand honestly.

#humans are space orcs #humans are deathworlders #humans are space oddities #humans are space australians #humanity fuck yeah #carionto

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sleepingdeath-hellaverse · 6 months

Text

dominant male s/o smut headcanons ; 18+

requested by : anonymous [14/03/24]

original request : ‘There is clearly a lack of x male reader in the Hazbin Hotel fandom, so maybe I could request Lucifer and Adam with a soft dom male reader. (Im not sure If I can request more that one character tho)’

pairing : submissive!adam x dominant!male!reader insert

content : dom/sub dynamic between characters, brat!adam, public sex acts, praise kink, body worship, oral sex (adam receiving)

warnings : sexually explicit content

masterlists : sfw nsfw

minors and ageless blogs will be blocked

adam, being the first man in existence, has developed something of a complex over the many millennia of his existence that makes it incredibly difficult (nigh on impossible, even) for him to be convinced to let a partner dominate him in any sense of the word — after all, he’s the first fucking man, the original dick, the patriarch of mankind, so to him the only ‘natural’ role to take on was the dominant in all of his sexual encounters

… and then you came around and he started to (quietly, internally, and whilst outwardly denying it with his whole chest) consider letting you dominate him for a change

it takes a lot of time, and a hell of a lot of patience on your end, for adam to become openly receptive to even discussing shifting the dynamic between the two of you — and from there it takes even longer and a whole lot of bailed attempts before he’s finally comfortable enough to completely hand over control to you in the bedroom — but once you reach that point of trust and openness with him you’ll find the end result to be more than worth it

of course he’s still not going to make it easy on you and will make you earn his submission pretty much whenever you’re intimate (unless he’s especially needy for whatever reason) — it’s not always a case of him being a brat outright, sometimes it’s just a standard fight for dominance that he’ll occasionally win, but most of the time it’s because he’s bratting out for whatever reason and really needs to be (lovingly) put in his place

despite all of his bravado, adam absolutely thrives under your attention and praise and can get extremely needy and desperate if you deny or tease him for long enough — bonus points if you call him ‘my good boy’ or ‘handsome’ or ‘good’ because, though he’ll brush it off outwardly, it’s clear as day just how much that praise effects him by the reddening of his cheeks, the wavering of his voice, and the throbbing of his cock in your hand

his most common bratty behaviours include: huffing and rolling his eyes when you scold him, insulting you when you deny him or try to get him to behave (usually combined with him flaunting/bragging about his rank in heaven as ‘the first fucking man’ to try and earn your respect), cussing you out when you slow down or deny him what he really wants in order to make him play nice or use his words, and being extremely physical and extremely flirty with you whenever you’re too busy/distracted to give him the attention he craves

(he’s not above groping/fondling you in public or straight up talking about all the things he wants to do to you when you get home — he has literally zero shame — and the only people that can get him to behave are you, as his partner and dom, and sera, as his direct superior)

typically a stern look and a low and authoratative ‘adam.’ is enough to get him to shut up and start behaving himself in front of others, but when you’re in the bedroom you’ll usually have to resort to some more elaborate methods of brat taming — like a mixture of edging and overstimulation, using very strict rules to get him back in good habits (e.g. not using bondage gear but instructing him not to touch you when you’re jerking him off — stopping and tutting at him whenever he fails to follow your rules), and using a mixture of punishment and positive reinforcement to try and keep him on the straight and narrow (so to speak)

some examples of positive reinforcement that work with adam are: body worship (especially if you show particular attention to the parts of himself that have changed since his time in eden, like his softer stomach and bushier hair), praise (let him know that his good behaviour is seen and appreciated, reaffirm how attractive you find him, assure him that you love him and you’re not going anywhere anytime soon, promise that he can trust you and that you’ll always take care of him), and oral sex (he loves seeing you knelt between his thighs, or kneeling before him, as you eagerly, messily, and expertly take his cock between your lips and as far into your throat as you can manage — bonus points if you comment on how ‘big’ and ‘thick’ his dick is, and if you insist on swallowing his cum afterwards because both are things that he finds extremely fucking hot)

he loves it when you’re gentle and slow with him (it’s a nice change to be so loved by a partner after everything his exes put him through), but he also has like zero patience and will inevitably start bratting out and alternating between goading and begging you to go faster and let him cum already — he can take some roughness and overstimulation, after all, and has on many occasions insisted that you stop treating him like he’s fragile when you’re having sex (again, he does appreciate the gentleness and soft dominance that you bring, but sometimes he just wants to have his brains fucked out so he can stop thinking about everything for a while)

#sleepingdeath #ageless blogs dni #ageless blogs will be blocked #minors will be blocked #minors dni #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel smut #hazbin hotel adam x reader #hazbin hotel adam smut #male reader #smut #smut hcs #smut headcanons #male reader smut

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yuzurujenn · 3 months

Text

[2024.07.03] Figure Skating Magazine 2023-2024 (BBMOOK 1649) - YUZURU HANYU INTERVIEW

Interview: Accepting the support of his fans. I felt like I could rely on him.

-It's been a long time! As you know, Figure Skate Magazine's editorial mission is to conduct interviews on behalf of its readers, so please be prepared to do the same when you answer, Hanyu-san. But please relax and speak as you normally would. Thank you.

Hanyu: Yes, please!

-There's still Fantasy on Ice left that starts in late May, but you're approaching two full seasons as a professional. How does it feel to have been a professional for almost two solid years now?

Hanyu: Well, this… If you ask me "Are you happy?", I would say that just being happy is definitely not enough. This has not changed since the competitive period. In the end, I couldn't just "enjoy the competition". I have always, how should I put it… I think I said in an interview that "I can't be happy if I can't win." In a sense, competition is "betting your life", and various things in life will change depending on the outcome of the competition. So, in this sense, I have always skated with the idea of "betting my life in competitions" and thinking "this is not the time to enjoy myself". And this feeling has not changed in a sense. So, even though there is no longer a visible "ranking", for me, the "results" are now directly related to the feedback or evaluations from everyone, and they can be seen. It's just that the format has changed in a more rigorous world. I feel this deeply again now almost two years after I turned professional.

-Honestly, I wonder if you have also felt difficulties and hardships as a professional skater?

Hanyu: Well… First of all, purely because the number of programs has increased a lot, which is… It's quite hard work indeed. I have to think about how to train for it, and also if it gets easier… It's true that if I make things easier, including the jumps, I could do some easier performances, but if I do that, it'll get boring. Or the "range of performance" that the audience wants to feel will be lost. So, in terms of difficulty, such as the difficulty of jumps, or the program itself, how should I put it… the skating, transitions, rotations, including all these difficulties, how to achieve the ultimate in both performance and technique, I have been trying to find such a balance, which is really difficult.

-In your solo ice show, Hanyu-san has to perform for two and a half hours, or two hours and forty minutes.

Hanyu: Yes (laughs).

-Figure skating is a particularly hard sport on the feet, and those who have had experience with competitive skating will find that even skating for just one minute can be quite taxing. But Hanyu-san has to perform multiple programs in a row in a single public show, which is generally impossible, and I just simply want to ask, why do you do something so hard?

Hanyu: Hmm… why is that… just like when I did Prologue, I wasn't really sure whether everyone had expectations for it, but I think it must be because of "everyone's expectations of me" and "my expectations of myself" that I felt that I had to do it. So, I have standards like "generally impossible" or "generally should be done this way" in my mind, but if I just follow those standards, it will become "normal". I felt that this was not what I expected, and everyone who has been watching me until now, and everyone who has been following my activities since I turned pro, will also feel that "this is not what they want to see from Hanyu", I felt this while trying to do it… That's the feeling.

-Hanyu-san is 29 years old now, right?

Hanyu: Yes, 29. I will be 30 after this year (birthday).

-Perhaps the peak of physical strength is still ahead, but it's generally possible that by the time one reaches their 30s, maintaining physical strength becomes difficult. At that time, what is Hanyu-san going to do?

Hanyu: That's right, what should I do? (laughs). To put it bluntly, I'm full of questions myself. For example, when it comes to holding various events, I think it's necessary to plan a blueprint. I have a vague idea that I should be thinking about what I will be doing in the next one, two, three, and eventually five years. Generally speaking, it is very necessary. This is not only for figure skating as a "job", but also for consideration as a person. But I always feel that because I always complete every performance with such enthusiasm that I don't have time to think about these things. It doesn't feel right to perform with the idea that "I should reach this point in five years, so I am at this stage now accordingly".

-Can you explain this in more detail?

Hanyu: Well… This is just an example. Suppose I already have an idea of when I will feel that my physical strength will decline or that I will not be able to do a solo performance in the future when I am in my mid-to-late 30s or 40s. Then, we discuss and make a plan, and decide to do it “until here", so then we can decide to do this performance this time, and that performance next time according to this plan, and backtrack in order to present something good in the end at the point where we planned it. It's kind of like this. If I were to do a "reverse calculation", I would have to present a "carefully calculated" performance which… how can I put it… I feel that I wouldn't be able to do my max at every point in time. For example, if I think of it as a competition, four years feels like an Olympic cycle. If I want to go to the Olympics in four years and win a gold medal, I'd think about something like, "I'll do this the year after Sochi," "I'll do this in the second year," "I'll challenge myself a little bit in the third year, and then stabilise in the fourth year". I'd think about it like that, but it won’t work now. Now I am not thinking about "I can do this kind of thing at this age", instead I am performing with the passion of "I will have no regrets even if it ends here this time". When I feel the limit of this approach, or in the process of continuing to train my body, when I feel that "I can't keep it up anymore" or "It's only going to go downhill from here on out", even if I have just a little bit of this premonition, I probably won't skate anymore (laughs). I don't know when that moment will come, and it won't help no matter how much I think about it. But anyway, this is how I feel right now. However, if I think about it from a completely different perspective, if I put aside things like "solo performance", "quadruple jump", "quadruple and a half" and think about "physical performance", how should I put it… I feel that there are still many things I can do. As I grow older, there are many aspects that can become more profound. So, in this sense, I am looking forward to what I can do in the future and how I will perform and express myself.

-Has the position of "fans" changed in your heart?

Hanyu: Well… I do feel that the form of "support" has changed. To be honest, during the RE_PRAY tour from 2023 to 2024, I was also worried about "what should I do". I think there must be some fans who were also struggling, but when the tour ended, I found an answer that satisfied myself and thought, "Ah… So that's how it is." As a performer, as a professional performer, of course I am determined to inherit what I have worked hard for as an athlete, including techniques in the world of performance, and at the same time further evolve and develop them and continue to move forward as a professional. But as for "receiving support,” if it were in the past, for example, when I was ranked high, I would be praised "Great!”, and there would always be so-called "results" like this which could be evaluated as "good" or "bad,” so I could accept everyone's support relatively easily. For example, when I received support and got good results, I'd feel that "I have properly repaid the favour." I have been thinking this way since around 2011. Then, after Gift ended and I started to create and perform the new RE_PRAY, creating a story which I wanted to express as a "work", so how should I put it… For example, when you read a novel and enjoy it, wouldn't it be a bit strange to support the novelist? It's like saying "Please work hard to write a novel!" It feels like there’s something not quite right. When we listen to concerts or songs, we don't say to the singer "Please work hard to sing!" It feels a bit like this. I also hope that everyone can enjoy the performance itself. And in a sense, this is my struggle as a professional, um… I’ve also thought about whether I can make everyone enjoy the performance itself if I do it perfectly. These thoughts were always wavering in my heart. But like this time in RE_PRAY, when there was a difficult program such as "The Messenger of Destruction”, there were still many people willing to support me and hoping that I could complete the program successfully. For a moment, I felt this very strongly, and reflected on it in my heart, and gradually felt that "Ah… maybe I can accept the support too". So far, when I am in the world of performance, the world of my profession, or the world of my ICE STORY, no matter what, when I perform in ICE STORY, I still hope that everyone can appreciate the story and the work itself. To enjoy it well, hmm, how should I put it? Because it isn’t a competition, the feeling of "I hope everyone can enjoy the story itself" is very strong in my heart, but at the same time I’m also wondering, "Then is this not support?" But I started to think that I didn’t have to be stuck in that kind of framework. In other words, unlike singers and people who write stories, there is another category called “Yuzuru Hanyu ICE STORY,” which is both a place for appreciation and a place for support. And I’m a skater who receives that support and a performer at the same time, and I think that’s fine. It took some time to figure out how the way of support has changed and how I should accept the support, and I think I found the answer.

-You always train alone at the ice rink in your hometown Sendai, which often worries me. Don’t you feel discouraged?

Hanyu: I feel very overwhelmed, every time (laughs). After all, the practice time has increased, and in a sense, there is a lack of motivation. Because even when the brain is extremely tired, I have to think about the story and the choreography, but even in that state, I can't stop training. I want to escape, but I can't, and this situation keeps continue. If the physical condition is really good, there is no such feeling at all. I will feel, "Training is so fun!", "I completed this thing today!" or "I successfully did this kind of training today". There are certainly moments when I feel a sense of accomplishment like this. However, I’ll be lucky to have such good physical condition three times a month. Considering that, it is actually more of a struggle. So, I do often collapse (laughs), and there are more days where I feel "I don't want to do it today".

-Do you have times when you dwell in the memories of the competition? Or, do you often reminisce things from the competition?

Hanyu: Well, rather than saying that I "dwell" in the memories, it is better to say that I often "recall" them. Competitions also appear in my dreams. For example, I am almost late for the 6-mins practice, and I haven't changed my clothes yet, but I am still warming up slowly. The loudspeaker shouted that the 6-mins practice had started, but I hadn’t even put on my shoes (laughs). When I hurried to join in the 6-mins practice, I heard "1 minute left". I had such a dream recently. I still have such dreams now, and sometimes the scenes in them are replaced by ICE STORY. Of course, I will also think about "Ah, this competition felt like this" or "I had such feelings during this competition", and I often think about the daily routine at that time, and there are also many memories about what kind of training I did back then. Instead of saying that I am "dwelling" in the memories, it is better to say that it is because of these memories and experiences that the “present things" are born, and I cherish these ‘children’ (memories and experiences) very much. How should I put it, it's not a very negative or backward-looking thought, but more like I'm making use of these ‘children’. So, let's say there is a table called "now", and I am at this table. I often let things from the past to exist on it, not of their own accord, but of my own volition. Because of these ‘children’, these past experiences and memories, the "now" can be so fulfilling. That’s all.

-On the last day of RE_PRAY’s Yokohama performance, didn't you say "(The performance is about to end) It's really lonely…?” I feel like that was the first time that Hanyu-kun “showed himself” in front of people. You've been working on your own as a professional, and that's been hard for you at times, so I think it's okay for you to be a little spoiled in front of your fans every once in a while! Although the word "acting like a spoiled child" may be a bit inappropriate, it's not bad to have such moments in life, isn't it? I know how precious the connection between Hanyu Yuzuru and his fans is, and because of it you've been able to achieve so many things that can be called "miracles", I've witnessed them with my own eyes.

Hanyu: As I said earlier, the meaning of the word "support" has changed a lot this year, and at the same time, the people who came to watch were not just fans but also people who wanted to watch because of the game theme, and of course, people involved in the ice show too. However, when these people came to this place and occasion, although it was hard to say whether it could be considered "acting spoiled,” I did feel that "maybe I could rely on them a little bit…" or "maybe I could trust them completely".

-Are you referring to the fans here?

Hanyu: Yes. I’ve been skating for these people so far, wanting to convey the best I can, wanting to give back all the energy and emotion they've put into me, and I've always felt like I had to work hard for that. It's not that I don't have such thoughts now, but I didn't know how to accept that support before. But through this tour, I gradually figured it out and felt that "Maybe I could rely on their strength". I think I drew this clear line in my heart during this period.

-I see. It's great that Hanyu-kun's mood has cleared up! I saw you today after a long time, and I really feel like you’ve become a "man"!

Hanyu: Do you mean I have become calmer? (laughs). Well, for example, in the case of ‘Danny Boy’, some things will live on in the program, like ‘Haru yo, koi’ and ‘Hope & Legacy’, which require genderless movements, and a sense of lightness that is not limited by age, etc. I think that as I grow older and experience various things, it will broaden my range of expression, and the "tenderness", "softness", and "ethereality" that I'm good at becomes broader as well. It goes back to what I said at the beginning: what kind of performance will I perform in my late 30s when I have experienced various things, accumulated age and experience, and experienced the physical time of "years", how much emotion I want to convey, how deep such emotions will become, how much training I have done, and how deeply I have thought about "physical expression". This makes me look forward to it with anticipation. Training is indeed painful. There is a clear change before and after Saga. The quality of training itself, the mindset, and the actual length of training have changed a lot, and it is indeed tough because there’s so much to do. However, I also feel that this has allowed me to perform well, and putting on good performances means being able to make all the fans happy. For me, this is really one of the most important happiness, and it is precisely because I feel that I have been rewarded for my efforts here that I can continue to work hard. Well, there’s a show coming up (this interview was done a few days before Fantasy on Ice). I have emotions that I want to convey and things that I want everyone to feel at every moment through my performances. Everyone has their own experiences and memories, and I hope that watching my performance can ignite some emotions in everyone's hearts. I want to continue to work hard with this commitment.

Source: https://weibo.com/6473801248/OmbzigSpE

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Postscript to the interview with Yuzuru Hanyu

TRUE WORDS.

It's been a while since our last interview, and it was a solo one. Yuzuru Hanyu appeared before us in mid-May. Until now, there was always an air of tension around him. But on this day, for some reason, I didn't feel that at all. I don't know why. I don't know, but I have a feeling inside me that maybe… Text / Shinichi Yamaguchi Photo/ Ryosuke Menju

Oh, why is that?

Hanyu-kun.

At first, I didn't understand why I said that, even though it was my own words.

Up until now, I have called him "Hanyu-senshu" in interviews, and "Hanyu-san" after he became a professional skater. In fact, I’m sure I called him "Hanyu-san" in the first half of this interview. When writing the article, I wondered what I should do, but in the end, I decided to just go with "Hanyu-kun" from the middle of the article. I don't know the reason myself. But I think there was an atmosphere on that day that made me want to call him "Hanyu-kun.

July 2022. Less than a week after Hanyu became a professional, I was taken to the hospital. Two years have passed since then, but it is still difficult for me to travel far for interviews, and in fact, the interview in Sendai was also conducted remotely. Photographer Menju took some photos after the interview. After that, Hanyu-kun said, "Now I just have to go home," and we had a chat for a while. It just so happened… really, this chat was just recorded by chance, and although I wasn't sure what to do with it, I decided to share it with you, the readers, because I thought it was worth sharing. Perhaps Hanyu-san and his staff would allow me to do so.

-Hanyu-kun, thank you so much for today! It's been a long time since we last met. I feel like you have really grown into a mature man!

Hanyu: No, I haven't changed. I’m still the same inside (laughs). But I do feel like I’ve started thinking a lot more because I’m in a world where I have to express myself.

-It's been a long time since I interviewed you. When I got sick, I thought, "Maybe I won't be able to do this kind of interview anymore." I never dreamed that I would get sick.

Hanyu: You really never know what's going to happen. I, too, have been living on the edge of death…

-During RE_PRAY's Yokohama performance, Hanyu-kun said, "Life goes on as long as you don't stop," right? Oh, I thought he was saying it to me. No, that's an exaggeration to say that you were speaking to me, but "Hanyu Yuzuru's words are the truth." I really thought so.

Hanyu: For me, well…you know, there are wars, natural disasters, and people who die suddenly…

I heard that Hanyu-kun also experienced the death of someone close to him. During the tour, he was sometimes at a loss for words on the microphone, perhaps because he was thinking of that person.

Hanyu: I was just realising that again…. So, I don't want to waste it. There are so many people who have come to be involved with me this way. I want them to be happy, even if only for that moment.

It was time for Hanyu-kun to leave. He turned around and said, “Please keep up the great work. Let's do our best! Thank you very much,” before leaving.

He is a person who cannot lie. This is what I thought after interviewing Yuzuru Hanyu. That’s why he must have been hurt by the world's comments about what he is and what he is not, and by the things he has been told since he was young. But even though he was hurt, or rather, it was because of those experiences that Hanyu-kun was able to treat others so gently. That is how I feel now.

And to all the fans of Yuzuru Hanyu. His words are truly what he means from the bottom of his heart, they are true words.

I want to shout this out loud.

Source: B.B.MOOK 1649 magazine, pg 25

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PHOTO STORY: Yuzuru Hanyu SKATE & JOURNEY

Yuzuru Hanyu as a "young man"

May 17, 2024, Sendai City, Miyagi Prefecture Photo & Text/Ryosuke Menju

Give it a title, okay? At the request of Editor Y, I came up with a name that would suit the occasion, but what do you think? In order to bring a "fresh breeze" that is fitting for the season of fresh greenery to our readers, I went to Sendai in the early summer of 2024.

This is the first time that Figure Skating Magazine has a solo interview. Previously we had a media day in Toronto, Canada, but that was mainly a joint interview with other companies. But this is an opportunity for Y-san, the interviewer, and me, the photographer, to meet Hanyu-senshu "one-on-one".

I have to confess that I had been feeling restless for the two months prior to the interview. I was so nervous and tense that I didn't know what to do, even though I'm 50 years old.

In March, Y-san suggested that we try to apply for an interview with Hanyu-senshu. At first, I just wanted to give it a try and thought "What would the result be?", but unexpectedly, I received a reply from Hanyu’s side very quickly, saying "OK". The two months that followed were incredibly long.

On this day, I met Hanyu-senshu for the first time in a long time, and he showed up at the venue on time.

The Q&A session with Y-san started as normal, not so much at first, but gradually, as if to match his words, he began to show his typical Hanyu-like "gaze" and "expression." I think I was able to get the shots I had in mind, both during the interview and outdoors.

On this day, I felt that I captured the appearance of Yuzuru Hanyu as "a young man". The person in front of me was not Hanyu-senshu, but “a young man”. I can't describe it well, but there was definitely such a scene in my mind.

After the shoot, I decided to fulfill a promise I made to myself. I wanted to express my gratitude to Hanyu-senshu for all he has done for me.

As a sports photographer, my career can be divided into two stages: "before I met Yuzuru Hanyu" and "after I met Yuzuru Hanyu". How can I take cool photos of Hanyu-senshu? For this reason, I competed with other photographers and prepared harder than ever before competitions, and readers started giving feedback on the photos I took. All this was because I met Hanyu-senshu.

Above all, the "voices" of the fans were especially special to me. Fans would "give their opinions," "praise," and "call out" to me, a photographer, in various places. I was able to experience things I had never experienced before as a sports photographer by getting to know "Yuzuru Hanyu". So, on this day, thanking Hanyu-senshu was more important to me than taking pictures of him. (Editor Y: Please come to the staff room later, Menju-kun)

After all the photos were taken, I had a minute or two to put down the camera and chat. It was during this time that I expressed my gratitude to Hanyu-senshu, something I had been wanting to say but had never been able to do so.

Hanyu-senshu responded with a smile.

"No, no. Everyone is working so hard to take photos of me, I’m really grateful for that."

Anyway, it was a somewhat strange day. There was me talking to him without a camera, and there was Hanyu-senshu without his skates.

And, after all, there was Yuzuru Hanyu as a "young man". That's just how I feel now.

Source: B.B.MOOK 1649 magazine, pg 26

Info: https://www.bbm-japan.com/article/detail/52774?page=1

#hanyu yuzuru #yuzuru hanyu #羽生結弦 #figure skater #figure skating #magazine #interview #machine #translation #bbmook

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