#i just stay up missing him n bein sleepy

[bimiio]

<3

[auteurdelabre]

Something to fight for: holiday vignette

Rating: 18+ (smattering of smut)

Summary: You and Joel return from a holiday party tipsy (and horny).

Warnings: titty sucking!

A/n: wanted to give you STFF fans a little something sweet for the holiday season! I got lots of vignettes coming your way in the new year with these two! Happy holidays y'all!

Masterlist

//////////////

"Joel shhhh!" You whisper as you both stumble into the house on Rancher Street.

"I'm bein' quiet!" Joel exclaims in a loud whisper.

"You two are both being fucking loud," Maria announces with a groan as she struggles to a stand. Tommy is at her elbow helping her over to where you and Joel drunkenly lean against one another.

"You're lucky Sarah is out like a light," Tommy smiles at you and his brother. "Think she had a sugar crash."

"Thanks to this one," Maria says elbowing Tommy lovingly. She takes one look at your bleary eyes and sighs. "I assume the neighbors Christmas party was a good one?"

"Mhmm," you nod with a dopey smile. "They had festive punch."

"Yep," Joel nods, trying to appear sober. "But she mighta overindulged," he says pressing his forehead against your temple

"Me? Who had to stop you from doing Santa baby on karaoke?"

"I woulda sounded good!"

"I know baby!" You slur, cupping his face in your hands. "It's just that you wanted to do it without pants!"

Maria and Tommy giggle, breaking you and Joel from your disagreement.

"I miss those days," Maria says patting her swollen belly. "The second this baby is out I want a fucking margarita!"

"Deal," you say exuberantly.

"Thanks for babysitting Sarah tonight so we could go to the party," Joel says giving his brother a clap on the back. "We owe ya."

"I'll remember that when this little guy arrives," Tommy warns, placing a loving hand on Maria's belly. "Night night guys."

You and Joel wave goodbye to your friends (and technically family) and stay standing braced against the island in the kitchen for a moment.

"It was a nice party," you say smiling.

"T'was," Joel agrees. "I liked those little cheese things."

"Mmmm," your say nodding.

Your eyes fall to a packaged something on the counter and you let out a small squeak.

"I wanna build a gingerbread house!"

"They musta brought it for Sarah."

"I'll get her a new one tomorrow," you promise as you open the glossy packaging. "I want her to wake up to this one!"

"That's a great idea, baby," Joel says making a move towards the bedroom. He stops when your hand snakes around his wrist.

"You gotta help me!"

Joel turns his puppy dog eyes on you. "I'm tired, honey."

"Hi Tired," you say giggling as if that's the funniest thing you've ever said. "I need your help! Please!"

Joel's sleepy smile quickly turns into something more mischievous. His voice slides down an octave as he comes to stand behind you. "And what do I get in return?"

"A happy wife?" You offer with a beam, starting to set up the supplies on the island counter.

"Uh huh," Joel murmurs, his hands going to the hem of your skirt and raising slowly. "What else you got ta' offer me, Mrs Miller?"

Joel always gets more twangy when he drinks. It makes you smile. He also gets very horny and you know exactly what he's up to.

You quickly spin out of his arms, tugging him by the hip to stand next to you.

"Look at all this kit comes with!" You say redirecting his attention to the supplies on the counter. There's the gingerbread walls and roof, a litany of colorful candies, and a bag of white icing.

"Let's get building, Miller."

Twenty minutes and you both drunkenly trying to build this gingerbread house, you admit defeat.

"It looks horrible."

"Nah," Joel says sliding his arm around your waist. "It looks great."

"Joel, the walls aren't even standing up," you pout.

"It's creative."

"The candy keeps falling off," you scowl. "Stupid icing is shit."

"Honey," Joel says nuzzling your temple with his nose. "It's great. Sarah'll love it. It's got candy."

You sigh heavily, leaning against Joel.

"Maybe she can decorate more of it tomorrow. We have some stuff leftover," you say motioning to the candy and icing at your elbow.

Joel can see the disappointment in your sleepy eyes and he gives an indulgent smile. You always get sleepy when you drink.You also look really sexy to Joel when you're sleepy.

Joel reaches to the counter and pops one of the circular peppermint balls into his mouth, sucking loudly.

"Joel!" You admonish. "Those are for S-"

The words die in your throat as Joel tugs down the front of your dress, exposing your breasts to the night air.

"All night I wanted to put my mouth on these," Joel huffs against your neck, hands coming to cup your warm tits. "Looked so fucking good at the party."

His thumbs drift over your hardened nipples, making you squirm. His tongue moves the peppermint into the pouch if his cheek, causing one side to bulge.

"Couldn't wait to get you home," Joel continues, his hips pushing yours into the island. You can feel him hard between you.

You look at your husband with deep need. He looks so fucking handsome, smells so good with his neck spritzed with cologne and his mouth of peppermint.

You watch him raise his fingers to his pouty mouth, fishing the glossy candy from between his lips. You watch in quiet fascination as Joel drags the slick peppermint against your hardened nipples.

"Joel-"

You give a small gasp of delight that turns into a groan as Joel's mouth finds each one, sucking and tasting. Your hands card through his hair as you tilt back, giving into the sensation of his full mouth on your skin, his wide hands kneading your tits, the flick of his tongue against your nipples.

"You taste so good honey," he murmurs against your throat as he pulls his mouth from your breasts.

You give a strangled moan before launching your face at his. You kiss him fiercely. You're hands on his collar as his arms wrap around your middle just before you break from him, face flushed.

"Joel take me to bed," you whimper, pressing gentle kiss to the corner of his mouth. "Please."

"Anything you say, Mrs Miller," Joel smiles, pulling you up into his arms.

You wrap your legs around his waist, arms slung around his neck as you tug his mouth back to yours. He kisses so* well.

You're halfway to the stairs when you pull back from his kiss, eyes wide.

"Wait Joel."

"What is it honey?"

"Grab the icing."

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Yandere Bakugo x Black reader

He loves it. The sight of your ebony arms wrapped around his waist. The squeeze of your thighs around his. The pulsating heat of your crotch lightly smashed against his. 

He loves you. The light moans of your relaxed sleeping humming on his ear. That softy grip of your fist in his blonde hair. The absent sleepy kisses you left just below his earlobe.

His dewdrop. The yang to his Ying. His chocolate goddess. His beautiful black wife. 

It had been ten years since you've been together 3 since you were married and he couldn't be happier. So many obstacles, so many hurdles-gone, obliterated by his devotion alone. Perhaps he felt a sense of injured pride, because he can't share his triumphs with the woman he calls his wife. But how do you tell the icon of purity that her legacy was stained. Right. You don't tell her. You burn the evidence, bury the body, and clean up your trails. Being a rising hero with his results made it childsplay. Merely an 'accidental casualty' during a fight or 'a villain's plot to kill a witness.' It was just too easy. 

But if he learned anything from his rival counterpart was that his cockiness would be his downfall.

He pushed the escaped curls from her bonnet into his nose. Inhaling the sweet aroma of cocoa butter and argan oil, his crimson eyes rolling to the back of his head. He fervently sniffed more than he ever could while you were awake. Even in your union you forbade him from so much as touching your do let alone smelling it. So he took advantage only giving pause when feeling the twitching flutter of your lashes along his jaw. 

"Mmmmmm."

You cozied into him further plunging yourself into the clutches of sleep you never fought. You were still asleep, the vibrations of your musing lulling yourself to sleep and rousing your needy husband. 

You woke up to the wet and aggressive kisses against your neck-your breast- your stomach- your--

"he-Hey mister! Hands off! I have work later and I want to be able to focus."

You held your hand inbetween your angry husband's eager tongue and the spot between your legs he wanted to taste. Using that hand you pushed your husband up and out of the way rising from your posisition on the bed. Now hand on his peck you maneuvered around him to reach the suit you had ironed the night before. 

"You could...stay...for longer..." Katsuki spoke kissing against any unclothed skin he could find. You chuckled, swatting him off as you worked your way into your suit fixing your tie as the last piece. 

"So? How do I look?"

You made a turn as you shrugged with your arms.

"I think you look like you want to come back to bed with me."

Knowing the risk you leaned forward to kiss him deeply and stopping his searching hands from messing up your work. With one last peck you were on your way leaving the apartment you two cozied in.

As you revved up the engine you replayed the image of intimate time you had. The warmth of his large hands. The gentleness of his kisses. And even the obsessive smelling in the morning. How do you keep a demon happy? You satisfy him, satiate his desires and feed his idea of control. The way to satisfy your demon was by cleaning up the traces of his crimes and limiting his...exposure to more. 

Arriving to the warehouse you parked your car grabbing your badge and heading inside.

"Miss (Y/n) hello detective Shinso, serious enough you can get involved in it?"

"Yeah your hubby went and offed the spouse of some 'activist nut'. Apparently he ran a hate blog where he'd been trashing you for weeks."

"Well? How'd he do in the clean up?"

"Come and see for your self."

He guided you to the taped off crime scene where the ground was charred and the remains included were blackened with the same care.

"Finger prints unapplicable. The burns got rid of that problem for us. And look at number 4 evidence we found on 'em."

"A link to the Paranormal Front? Well isn't that convenient."

Pocketing the evidence you looked around realizing the team had begun to move out and new evidence being placed.

"So we have a motive and witness?"

"Done. And done. Witnesses are going to be some random nosy teens and death will be caused by illegal drug incident."

"Perfect, then we can use this baby as a ticket for disguise."

Walking away from the warehouse and into your car you unlocked the passenger side as the detective got in.

"Any idea who's the lucky disguisee?"

"Maybe Toga or Sato? His build seems to match the guy pretty well..."

"Ohh and not your husband? Dude's pretty good at playing the meek when he isn't screaming half the time."

"Nooo way he'd be on to us in a second it's best he stay out Heroes Association business."

[jamesbuckybarnes19174]

message to james: hiiiiiii babyyyyyy :)))) i miss u!!!!!!!!! miss u soooooo much !!!!!!!! i’m okay !!! i hope ur okay :) <3 I LOVE U !!!! <3 LOVEEEE UUUU BABY !!!! :) <3 *sends a mirror selfie of me in ur hoodie and boxers* comfy n coziiii <33333

voice message to james: hi my lovey…. i miss you dearly…. miss waking up in your arms… *sighs softly* i umm i hope you’re okay… j-just worried but… think i always worry about you *chuckles softly* am glad you’re safe though… i just really care about you james… you’re my love… the love of my life… how could i not worry about you? am sure you worry about me too… *chuckles softly* besides just missing you, ‘m okay… ummm *pauses* b-bruce has been keeping a close eye on me *chuckles* dunno if you told him to keep an eye on me but he checks on me occasionally to make sure ‘m all okay… i think it’s cause i haven’t really gone into the compound at all… i just miss you… and when i go into work i just… i just think of you so… been working from home for a couple days… i umm, i keep listening to your voice message… *chuckles softly* just… while i’m doing chores around the house or if i’m missing you a little extra… *hums softly* i wish i could be cuddling you now… you’re so good to cuddle with baby… all warm n keep me safe… *pauses* hmm… a good memory… umm… oh when umm, i think steve had a holiday dinner… a-and you held m-my hand while w-we ate… and just t-took care of m-me… i just umm… was really nice… f-felt just… really safe james… g-gave me a lot of courage and i t-think about that night a lot…. so t-thank you… it’s crazy to think how far we’ve come… i don’t think i would’ve believed it myself if you told me back then… *sighs contently* i love you james, my soulmate… it’s you… it’s always you baby… i really love you… we’ll talk soon, be careful baby, okay? i love you…

message to kitten: I miss you baby. Really missing you. I’m alright baby just tired. I’m happy you’re doing okay. Sam says hi. I love you :) love you my baby :) *sends a picture of me looking sleepy on the hotel bed* not as comfy and cozy as it would be with you

voice message to kitten: hi baby…I miss you…miss you so much…I know honey…I miss holdin’ you and…seein’ your pretty smile…I uh…liked the picture you sent though…you looked really cute…my pretty baby…*sighs softly* I know you worry about me…’m okay ‘s just uh…really busy…I do worry about you…h-hope you’re okay baby…you’re my love *chuckles* love of my life…’m glad you’re doin’ okay…uh…*chuckles* y-yeah I might’ve told Bruce to k-keep an eye on you…*snorts* i w-wanted you to f-feel okay…’m missin’ you so much baby…y-yeah…I think ‘s good you’re workin’ at home…c-can be all comfy *chuckles* although I wish I was there with you…cuddlin’ you and kissin’ you…fuck I miss kissin’ you…*chuckles* I’ve been listenin’ to your voice message too…t-think I fell asleep listenin’ over and over *laughs, then sighs* I know baby…you’re so good to cuddle too…miss bein’ all…close to you…so easy to kiss you and…t-talk and…j-just feel all w-warm together hm? yeah I really fuckin’ want that right now *chuckles* this hotel’s okay but…the bed’s aren’t as comfortable as I’d wish they’d be…*stays quiet for a moment* that’s a sweet memory, honey…I could tell how nervous you were and…needed help so…i j-just did what i can to help you f-feel okay…’m so happy it was nice for you…i w-wanna make you feel safe with me…you are safe with me…always…I know baby…I don’t think I would’ve believed it either…I didn’t even think I could…open up the way i have with you…maybe you’re magic *chuckles* I’ve just been thinkin’ about…layin’ with you…is that borin’ at all? I don’t know honey I just love layin’ in bed and talkin’ to you and…sharin’ some kisses and…it helped me f-feel relaxed…i l-liked feelin’ you…and I m-miss it a lot right now…wishin’ I was holdin’ you and wakin’ up to you…I will be…I love you scout…it’s always you…always was always will be…I r-really love you too baby…we’ll talk soon…I’ll be careful…I love you so much…I love you…

[drakenlvr]

snail picking with hanma (a drabble)

gn! reader

the clouds have been dark and it looked like it rain heavy since early, but duties were duties. it was your turn to walk the dog this morning, since your “lovely” roommate said he was “busy” (or he’s just lazy, but refuses to admit it 🙄).

so you walked out the complex and continued on the sidewalk. but as it happens when the weather is rainy, snails start blocking your path and the grass near it. and despite living with a guy who seemed far away from the description of gentle, you’d bend to the ground, tap the little swirling shell, wait for the creature to get inside (so you don’t scare it) and you slowly move them to the grassy area.

as you keep doing that, the pet you had originally taken on a walk just runs freely, chasing what seemed to be nothing near you. getting down into a squatting position once more you’ve noticed another slimy bunch making their slow way towards god knows what.

before you realize your dog starts running somewhere far in the foggy distance of the park. you look around frantically screaming its name as you get up to chase it, but after a while it stops in front of what looked like the outline of a familiar towering figure.

“oh? i expected you to be home, waitin’ on the opportunity to scold me about how “irresponsible i’m bein’, dear”

shuji is now paining almost the entirety of his attention towards the fluffy creature wagging it tail, before him, except he didn’t miss the smirk on his face as he spoke.

“well if it isn’t my favorite negligent menace of a roommate.”

you reply with the same tone of sleepiness, knowing you both just liked returning each other’s energy. knowing that your pet is now somewhat safe in the hands of shuji, you go back to helping the confused animals behind ur back.

“ew, you touch those gross things ?!”

he teasingly scoffs at you as pay him almost no mind. (jealous of the snails much 🙄)

“well, shuji, i do happen to touch your stuff and i’d argue that’s grosser”

you roll your eyes, but he couldn’t be happier to hear his name come out of your mount, since you normally wouldn’t address him.

“now, now, no need to be this snarky, i know you love me more than those little slime balls”

he squats to your level and hangs an arm around your shoulder with the same recognizable smirk (that secretly drives you crazy)

somehow he ended up staying with you, while you kept carefully picking them up. but as the clouds had been promised rain started pouring, so you were forced to hide under his leather jacket as you both and the dog ran home, only to return soaked nonetheless.

a/n: i was picking up snails on my way to school this morning so this thought popped up hihi :( special thanks to @bajifuyutorabb for reviewing it for me

m.list

[dirtyoatmeall]

Saying I love you (Various x reader)

A/N: here are some cute little drabbles of some of the boys saying I love you. It was originally gonna be I love you for the first time but I started imaging domestic softness and couldn't help myself. If there's anyone else you want to see let me know!

Pairings: Bokuto, Kuroo, Tendo, Osamu, Sakusa, Tsukishima, Ukai, Iwaizumi x reader (separate) established relationships, gn!reader

Warnings: None :)

_

Bokuto

You were walking home together after practice like every day, swinging your joined hands as you chattered about the day while Bokuto listened intently, giving feedback when needed. You were telling him a stupid joke and when you looked at him, lips lifting into a smirk, and before he could stop himself, he blurted out,

“I love you.”

He stopped as soon as the words tumbled from his lips, he had no idea what overcame him, this isn’t how he wanted to tell you, what if you thought it was too soon? What if you didn’t want to say it back?

Your eyes had widened momentarily, playful smirk melting into a loving smile. You squeezed his hand, returning his attention to you. You stepped closer, placing a quick kiss on his cheek before tugging him along again.

“I love you too Kou.”

Tendo

It was your weekly date night, electing to stay in and escape the cold. You were lying in bed, on your back while Tendo was in between your legs, head resting on your stomach, reading the new Shonen Jump as you ran your hands through his hair absentmindedly, scrolling through TikTok on your phone. The two of you were silent, occasionally you’d show him a funny video, or he’d tell you his theories on the manga he was reading.

You sat up and scooched back slightly, resting more against the headboard and Tendo slid down to rest between your thighs. He looked up at you and you smiled, groaning softly as you stretched your arms above you.

“I’m in love with you.”

Your eyes opened and you looked down mid-yawn at the red head, surprised. He wiggled his eyebrows in response, and you laughed, letting your arms drop, weaving your fingers back into his hair and tugging lightly as you leaned down to kiss him softly, pulling back slightly, goofy grin replacing your surprise.

“I’m in love with you too dork.”

Kuroo

Graduation ceremony had just finished. You were both still in your cap and gown, taking pictures with your families. He watched you fondly as you talked with his mom and sister, making him take a picture of the three of you, bright grins evident. He pulled you to the side after, kissing you gently, he was so happy you got along with his family, hopefully they’d be your family soon enough.

“I love you (Y/N).”

You smiled wide, eyes becoming a little glossy, and you hugged him tight, exhaling shakily. You pulled back just enough to look up at him, expression full of adoration, mirroring his.

“I love you too Tetsuro.”

You laughed when you heard coos from behind you, your families no doubt already taking pictures of the intimate moment.

Osamu

You finished closing the restaurant after a busy Saturday, Osamu was leaning against the counter, watching you as you took inventory, planning on placing a supply order tomorrow. He watched as you scanned the rows, chewing your bottom lip in concentration. Your brow furrowed, pencil tapping your chin as you contemplated something. When you decided on an answer you nodded once to yourself, small smile playing on your lips.

You turned to continue onto the next section, glancing at him for a movement before looking at him fully when you catch him staring. You rose an eyebrow, one hand on your hip. “What’cha thinkin’ ‘bout ‘Samu?”

He hummed before pushing away from the counter, waltzing toward you. “Oh nothin’, just thinkin’ ‘bout how much I love ya.” You hummed in response, watching bemused as he approached, snaking his arms around your waist, pulling you closer. “Yeah? Enough to finish inventory?” He seemed to think for a moment, “Hmm, I don’ know ‘bout that…” You laughed and playfully shoved him, though it did little to move him. You lightly tapped the clipboard on his head,

“Well lucky for you, I love you enough.”

He pinched your bottom, chuckling when you yelped, moving to wrap his arms around you again, this time pulling your back to his chest as he read over your shoulder.

Sakusa

You were making dinner when he came home from practice, sizzling of the pan audible from the doorway. He called out a greeting, you turned down the music before you popped your head out of the kitchen. “Hey babe! It’ll be a little bit before I’m done, why don’t you go ahead and shower? Dinner should be done by the time you’re out.” Kiyoomi smiled and nodded, heading towards your shared bedroom.

He stood in the doorway to the kitchen, hair still slightly damp, as he watched you cook. You were in your own little world, humming along to the music, hips swaying slightly as you stirred the contents of the pot in front of you. You caught sight of him when you turned to grab seasoning, jumping slightly in surprise before smiling,

“Gosh you scared me Kiyo! One sec, lemme me wash my hands.” You moved the pot off the heat, moving to the sink to wash up as Kiyoomi walked towards you. You finished drying your hands by the time he reached you, his hands finding their place on your hips. You mumbled a greeting again before reaching up to kiss him softly, fingertips resting on the side of his jaw for balance. He pulled back and kissed your forehead before smiling softly.

“I love you.”

You smiled brightly, “I love you too! C’mon lets dish up, I’m pretty sure I didn’t burn the meat this time.” Kiyoomi snorted, grabbing plates down for the two of you.

Tsukishima

The sunlight filtering in through the blinds slowly stirred you awake. You groaned, rubbing your face before stretching, yawn escaping your lips. You glanced at the clock on your nightstand, stiffening when you saw the time.

“ ‘ts Sunday, go back t’ sleep.” Kei yawned next to you, tugging you back into his chest, nuzzling into your hair. You relaxed, turning in his hold, rolling your eyes at his groan of protest. Droopy eyes and a pout greeted you when you turned to face him, you smiled and kissed his pout, snuggling into his chest. He huffed and resumed his position, arms tightening around your waist as your legs tangled together. He mumbled into your hair,

“ ‘m love you” you laughed softly, rubbing his back, Kei was always more needy in the morning. “I love you too baby.” He pinched your hip, and you laughed louder when he rolled the two of you to face to the other way, now facing away from the window. He grumbled and pulled the covers up more,

“If you really love me, you’ll stop bein' loud and g' back t’ sleep.” You muffled your giggle in his chest, kissing his shoulder in apology before shifting slightly to get more comfortable, letting his heartbeat lull you back to sleep.

Ukai

You settled into the chair behind the counter, sipping your coffee as you flipped through a magazine. You heard cursing and loud footsteps stumbling down the stairs leading to your apartment and you smiled into your mug. Your eyes flickered up to your husband, taking in his disheveled appearance and pout before turning back to your magazine. You raised your head when you heard him come up behind you.

Longs fingers pinched your cheek before grasping your chin to tilt your head back. You smirked at the grumpy frown on his face as he leaned down to kiss you in greeting. He pulled away grumbling. “Damned woman, lucky I love you, always letting me sleep late.” You hummed in agreement and held up his lighter, which he swiped before kissing your forehead, tugging a lock of your hair and stealing a swig of your coffee before he left.

“Love you!” You called after him, laughing loudly as he flipped you off as he walked out of the store.

Iwaizumi

You waved when the screen loaded, your boyfriend’s sleepy form on the other side of the screen, on the other side of the world. “Hey baby, it’s pretty late, you going to bed?” Iwaizumi nodded, rubbing his eyes. “Wanted t’ talk though.” You smiled softly. Even though there was a 16 hour time difference between the two of you, Iwaizumi never failed to skype you at least once a day, talking about your days or planning for when he’d come home next. Usually you’d talk when he woke up, which was right before you went to bed, but he had an early practice and wanted to move it later.

He was in bed already, and he listened as you talked about your day, humming every so often in response. Though after a few minutes of nothing from the other end, you looked up from your book and smiled warmly. Light from his bedside lamp illuminated his sleeping face, and you could hear the quiet snores escaping his lips. He must’ve been pretty tired. You said his name gently a few times, a little louder to try and wake him. He blinked blearily, furrowing his eyebrows. “Hey, you should go to bed.” He made a noise of protest, shaking his head slightly. “ ‘m awake, keep telling me ‘bout your day.”

You rolled your eyes playfully at his stubbornness. “Haiji, you literally were asleep a few minutes ago. As much as I’d love to watch you sleep, I bet your phone isn’t plugged in, and you should turn off your lamp.” He grumbled but complied, the phone shaking slightly as he fumbled to plug it in, before unplugging the lamp.

“Ok, ‘m gonna go t’ bed. I miss you baby. I’ll call in the mornin’. Love you.” You blinked away the tears forming in your eyes and nodded. “Alright, I’ll talk to you in a few hours, sleep well, I miss you too, love you so much Haji.” You ended the call, taking a deep breath, exhaling shakily. It was hard, living thousands of miles from your boyfriend, but it was worth it, he was worth any distance. You set an alarm for later tonight, grabbing an energy drink from the fridge to return to your studies.

[vennilavee]

stormy skies

pairing: levi x reader, and baby kaiya

summary: it’s not the first time you’re home late from work.

word count: ~2260

warnings: a shitty boss, some cursing

a/n: wrote this because i couldnt sleep last night due to the current us election... enjoy

***

Levi peeks his head into Kaiya’s bedroom, and sees her fast asleep in her bed. She’s surrounded by pillows, her lion stuffed animal, as well as her butterfly, shark, and flower pillow. It’s been about an hour since she fell asleep for her afternoon nap. 

He thought he heard a noise on the baby monitor, but it was nothing. Just her shifting in bed.

Her face is squished into the pillow and Levi can’t help the small upturn of his lips at the sight.

Kaiya’s already almost two years old, and neither you nor Levi can quite believe it. Levi claims that she’s the spitting image of you, but you claim the opposite.

You’re both right.

Levi’s career allows for him to work from home for most days. You and Levi had spent the better part of two weeks setting up his office, back when you had first moved into your new home. Before Kaiya was born. He has two monitors on his mahogany desk, a sleek keyboard and an even sleeker mouse with his laptop plugged into the dock.

A photo of you and a photo of Kaiya sits next to the monitor on the left, and a photo of the three of you next to the monitor on the right. The baby monitor is in front of him, just in case Kaiya wakes up before she is supposed to.

He’s eager for Kaiya to wake up and for you to come home, and he puts his glasses on to get to work and hopefully end his day early.

***

Levi shoves a hand in his hair, expelling a deep sigh as he logs out of work. He stretches his arms and his legs, only to be alerted by a slight vibration from his phone.

It’s a text from you:

angel: gonna be late today… levi: again? angel: yes :(

Levi sighs to himself, waiting a few seconds before replying.

levi: ok, be safe 

It’s the third time this week, and he’s lost count of how many times you’ve come home late over the last few weeks. At first, it hadn’t bothered him. But then it became a habit. And then Kaiya was asking for you during dinner.

That was the first of a few fights. They usually ended with you promising that you’d be better about it and draw the boundaries you needed to draw.

And yet… 

Levi hears Kaiya waking up on the baby monitor, her soft coos and calls of ‘daddy’ and ‘mommy’ nearly echoing in the silent room. He turns the monitor off and walks upstairs to her bedroom, where he finds her sitting up. Her smile is sleepy and she makes grabby hands for him with her stuffed lion tucked under her arm.

“Daddy,” She beams at him.

“Slept well, Kai?” Levi asks and she doesn’t reply, instead tucking her face into his neck. Levi brushes his lips over her forehead as he carries her downstairs. She’s still warm from her nap, grey eyes blinking sleepily. 

Levi gets started on dinner with Kaiya on his hip and feeds her spoonfuls of sauce and bits of meat here and there, which she accepts eagerly. She smiles widely with her nose scrunched when she likes it. You’d claim that her smile is identical to Levi’s, but he disagrees.

He’d tell you that everything good about Kaiya comes from you.

Levi gets lost in his thoughts of you, wondering if you’re on your way home. He’s having trouble remembering the last time you both had gone to bed together without the melancholy of your work schedule hanging over your head.

He sighs. Kaiya hears him and looks up curiously.

“Daddy?” Kaiya says, patting his cheek, “Mama?”

“Mama’s comin’ home late, kid,” Levi says, “Again. Do you miss her?”

Kaiya lets out a sigh suspiciously similar to his.

“Yeah. Me too, kid.”

***

By the time you come home, it’s well past dinnertime. Levi had left out a plate for you, but by now, it’s cold. You kick your heels off and place them in the closet neatly, grimacing at the covered plate on the dinner table and your empty living room.

You can almost taste Levi’s disappointment. But you just want to see Kaiya, you know she’ll be able to cheer you up.

What a shitty day. Shitty week. Shitty month. With every day that goes by, you’re getting closer and closer to telling your boss to shove his foot up his ass. 

You immediately head into Kaiya’s bedroom, where you’re certain Levi is telling her a bedtime story. You’re not even sure what time it is- is she asleep? Are you too late?

You hate bringing the smell of work home, preferring to change into comfy clothes before greeting Kaiya and Levi with a kiss. But you can’t wait, not tonight. Not when you know that Levi is upset with you and when you miss Kaiya so much that you ache.

“Kaiya?” You whisper, “Kaiya, baby?”

“Mama!” Kaiya squeals, looking up from the book that Levi’s reading to her, “Hi, mama!”

You kneel next to her bed and open your arms for a hug. She jumps into your arms happily and you kiss her cheeks and her forehead as she giggles wildly.

“I missed you, baby,” You mumble, holding her close, “So much.”

You pull away and cup her cheeks tenderly, rubbing with your thumb. Kaiya only looks at you with the same disarming silver eyes that belong to Levi. Her eyes are soft when she looks at you, her grin bright and toothy.

“Daddy, story,” Kaiya says, pointing to Levi.

“Can mama join?” You ask quietly, looking at Levi.

“Don’t be stupid. Of course mama can join,” Levi murmurs, patting the spot next to him.

You don’t even admonish him for saying ‘stupid’ in front of your daughter and he says nothing about you wearing your work clothes in his daughter’s bed.

You kiss the corner of Levi’s mouth, taking his hand in his as he continues to read to Kaiya. He squeezes your hand every so often, listening to the way Kaiya gasps and giggles at the story. Levi doesn’t tell the story with much fanfare or gusto- he tells it just the way Kaiya likes. With the always present dry intonation of his voice.

You think it’s Kaiya’s favorite sound in the world.

Kaiya points at the picture in the book and giggles, looking up at you for confirmation that you can see what she’s pointing at. You hold her hand and laugh with her too, melting at the way her smile holds your world in it.

After a few more pages and a few more laughs, Kaiya begins to grow tired. She rests her head against your arm, stifling a yawn. You rub her back to lull her into sleep but she tries to stay awake.

“Are you sleepy, Kaiya baby?” You coo, kissing her forehead.

She doesn’t reply, instead closing her eyes. It only takes a few more forehead kisses and back rubs for her to fall into deep sleep. You smile at Kaiya and look at Levi, offering him a small smile as well.

“Did you eat?” Levi asks, nudging your shoulder and gesturing for you to get up.

“No, I put it in the fridge. Not really hungry. Just want to be with you and Kaiya,” You murmur.

Levi gives you a long stare and pinches the bridge of his nose.

“Don’t be stupid. Go eat. I know you probably haven’t eaten since noon. Because of your shitty boss,” Levi says pointedly.

You sigh, heading into your bedroom to change out of your work clothes and wash up before heading downstairs.

He doesn’t join you.

You eat quickly, somewhere halfway between enjoying and savoring all of the flavors and barely chewing so that you can go upstairs to talk to Levi. You wash the dishes in the sink quickly before double checking the locks and heading to your bedroom.

Levi’s in bed, reading a book and casts a look of acknowledgement to you. It feels odd, devoid of his usual affections. You know why. Because he’s upset with you.

You curl next to him, cupping his cheek to get him to look at you. Levi sighs heavily and casts his book on the nightstand.

“Your job is fuckin’ shitty,” Levi says without missing a beat, “Kaiya misses you. A lot.”

I miss you. A lot. The words hang in the air.

“I know, I’m sorry. I hate it,” You whisper, crumbling under his scorching gaze, “I didn’t want-”

“So? What are you gonna do about it?” Levi asks flatly, voice full of ice, “It’s your dream job, right?”

It unnerves you.

“Levi,” You say hollowly, “Don’t be like that-”

“Not bein’ like anything,” Levi says easily, “Your daughter fuckin’ misses her mama. This is the first time you’ve tucked her into bed properly in who knows how long- she asks for you all the time, always asking for her mama. And where is her mama? At work-”

“Levi,” You beg quietly, “Levi, stop-”

“How many times are we going to have this conversation?” Levi says hotly. You raise your eyebrows when you hear the emotion in his voice. He’s clearly been thinking this for quite some time.

“I’m sorry,” You plead, taking his hands in yours.

He pulls them away from you and your lips part in a surprised ‘o’. You’re quickly confronted with how much you’ve been hurting him.

“Levi, I’m gonna fix it. I swear- I’m gonna fix it, I’ve already talked to my boss a-and told him I can’t do this anymore-” You blubber, tears forming in your eyes.

“Can’t do what anymore?”

“The late nights-”

“Yeah, they’ll stop for what? A week? Then start back up again,” Levi scoffs coldly, “You promised you’d fix this. So fix this.”

“Levi- stop,” You mumble, “You’re being mean-”

You can’t help it- you start to cry harder, fat tears pool in your dark eyes and roll down your cheeks, as your bottom lip trembles. You let out a loud sob and turn away from him, not able to meet his eyes. Levi blinks at you, almost nervously. 

“Shit,” Levi says under his breath, “Shit-”

He wipes your tears from your cheeks and pulls you into his chest, his chin over your head. His arms are tight around you, heartbeat lulling you into calm. Neither of you say anything for a few minutes, despite the apology on the tip of his tongue.

Levi hates seeing you cry, especially when he is the cause of your tears. But he knows, even if his words were cruel, the problem still exists.

It takes a few minutes for you to breathe and for your sobs to reduce to sniffles. 

“I’m trying, baby,” You mumble, “I told him I need to scale back. But- he’s just so, fucking-“

And then you start to cry again. Levi wonders if there’s more to it than you’ve been saying. He wonders if there’s more of a problem than just late nights. Levi rubs your cheek with his thumb, giving you a few more minutes to gather your thoughts.

“Is something else going on?” Levi asks, most of the heat gone from his voice.

You’re quiet again, looking up at him. Trying to figure out how to allow the words to bubble up and leave your throat.

“What is it, angel?” He asks, cupping your chin for you to meet his eyes.

“He’s just so,” You sigh, “He’s so… mean. He talks down to me sometimes when we have group meetings- and I don’t even realize until the meeting’s been said and done. God, I hate what a boys club it is there. 

Oh, and his favorite is that one guy who always steals credit for the work that I do- and he said he’d dock my bonus if I didn’t start picking up the slack, but I am, I’m picking up everyone’s fuckin’ slack and all I’m good at doing is hurting you and hurting Kaiya- and I n-never wanted to be like that. 

I never wanted to be the person who put their career in front of their family. I should be able to have both, but not- not like this.” Your rant ends with a fresh wave of tears threatening to spill over.

“Angel,” Levi breathes, kissing your forehead, “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I thought I could handle it,” You mutter honestly, “But I can’t. I need to get out, Levi.”

“I’m sorry I yelled at you,” Levi says, pressing his forehead to yours.

“You didn’t. It’s okay, I get it. I get it.”

“I should’ve helped you. Not yelled at you.”

“How could you know? I didn’t say anything,” You scoff, slipping your hand under his shirt to rub his chest. You missed him, and this.

“Thought we said no secrets,” Levi says lightly, “No more. We’ll figure it out.”

“‘M not working for most of next week. I need a break,” You say, pressing yourself closer to Levi.

“Good. We’ll figure it out, alright?” Levi says and squeezes your hand. He dips his head for a kiss, and you can taste the sweetness of his unsaid apology.

“You, me and Kaiya?” You ask with a small smile.

Levi nods, quelling your fears with a series of featherlight kisses that deepen quickly. His hands wander your ribcage, holding you close and warming you up from within. Silver eyes melt into your brown, and you’re reassured by his steady strength.

You’ll be okay. You, him and Kaiya. You’ll be okay.

tags: @simpingmaize

[brwnskin-bunnyteeth]

Bunny

A/N: Hey, this is like so late, but that’s better than nothing and I’m glad that I was able to finish this! Idk, I had a hard time getting this one wrapped up, procrastination is a bitch smh. This is a part of @berrynarrybanana ‘s Sex Bucket List Challenge.  Hope y’all like what I wrote! And don’t forget to read everyone’s fics too!

Warnings: smut/language

My prompt: Skype/Phone Sex

Word count: 1.1k

“ —- and Mitch was trying showing me this sick move, yeah? But he kept on messing it up, like, he couldn’t properly show me...thought he was lying at first, but he finally landed it after like ten times…” 

Y/N wasn’t paying attention to Harry. She didn’t mean to, but his voice was so soothing and enchanting that she could just dose off listening to him talk on the phone. And while it was almost 1 am, she wasn’t sleepy. No, she was wide awake. She’d been waiting to talk to him all day and damn it, she going to milk it as long as she could. He was so busy, and they hardly got to talk to each other as much as they used to. Laying in bed, listening to his raspy timbre, was just what she needed. 

“Dosing off there, lover?” He’s chuckling into his phone, the vibrations giving her goosebumps. She sighs dreamily, coming back to the present before answering him. 

“Yeah, just appreciating my boyfriend’s sexy accent” A small smile spreads on her face when he gives her a cute laugh and a small “yeah” in response. “It’s so hard staying focused when all I wanna do is jump his bones.” 

“Oh yeah? ‘M turning ya on that much you can’t even listen to meh?” Y/N openly moans at that, shivering at his words. “You touching yourself right now, lover?” 

“Don’t tease, bunny” She whined into her phone, thighs clenching together as his words went straight to her core. “Bein mean”

“Oi, I’m not the one getting off to my partner talking ‘bout their day, ya horn dog” She hears him shuffling before he speaks up again, “Now, I asked you a question. Are you touching yourself?”

Y/N shakes her head before saying “No”. She bites her lip in anticipation for whatever her boyfriend’s got planned. 

“Touch yourself for me, darling. Use my voice, let me help you.” He gets huskier, his voice dropping octaves, inciting a low moan from her. “Like that, huh?”

Her hands grasp at her chest, playing with her nipples, through her shirt—-one of Harry’s oversized band tees—- before one moves down, caressing the rolls of her tummy and her thighs. “Yes, bunny” She sighs, shivering at the moan that leaves his mouth. Her nipples harden as she lifts the shirt and pets at her breasts. 

“Fuck, love when ya call me tha’.” He groans, “Goes straight to my cock, baby. I get a stiffy every time, love it.”

She can hear him start to stroke his member, his spit wetting the stroke. Her moans increase as his words spur her on, her hands inching ever closer to her core. She can see him right now: eyes focused on his lap, lip tucked into his mouth, his hand slowly and teasingly stroking himself. She moans at the thought as his slick strokes increasing in her ear. 

She rubs her clit over her panties, leaning her head back onto her satin pillows, a small gasp leaving her, as her legs spread open. Kneading her breast in one hand, she continues her ministrations.

“God, you won’t believe how wet I am, bunny” She whines, into her phone, stuttering moans leaving her mouth. Her fingers delve past her pants and come out coated in her juice. She shuts her eyes, pulling her fingers up to her lips. “Tastes so good” 

The moan that leaves Harry is loud, his deep voice thunderous and heated. Her thighs tremble, her walls clenching in response, and she giggles knowing she hit a sore spot.

“Fuck, I’m not going to last if you keep teasing me like that” Y/N trails her other hand to her clit, flicking the pulsing nub as she began to bury her unoccupied fingers into her mound.  

“Can’t wait to sink right into your tight pussy, baby. Gonna fuck you so hard, just like last time, not gonna be able to walk for days, gonna feel me everywhere.”

His words were intoxicating, sending shocks that cascade through her body, flames boiling in her gut. The whimper that leaves her is downright pathetic; the memory of his hands gripping her thighs, her walls clenching in on him as he thrusts, roughly, her senses overwhelmed. Her fingers increase on her swelling clit and her moans loudly leave her mouth. Her fingers can’t reach her spot quite like his, but she makes do with what she has, he’ll be home soon enough. 

“Miss you so much, gonna give you everything I got...you’re gonna beg me to stop, baby...gonna be melting with my cum and spit, gonna look so pretty…”

His words go straight to her core, strengthening the flames roiling in her. His hands are pumping his shaft, and she can just about see his succulent tip as the sounds of his efforts echo through the speaker. His moans bounce around her ears, her mind fogging up. Her whole body trembles, nearing her peak, and all she can do is bask in the pleasure. Her body burns, her joints locking up as an ocean waves tumble from the top of her skull all the way to the tips of her toes. She’s crying out, her nub overstimulated and overwhelmed, and Harry’s in her ear encouraging her on. 

“You’re amazing, baby, love when you scream my name”

She’s whimpering, “Oh god, I need you bunny, I miss you too much” Her skin is flushed, her chest heaving as she comes back to earth. “Have you cummed? Bunny, can you cum for me, I need it” 

“Baby, you’re torturing me, fuck. I miss you too, baby” He’s blabbering, and the slick sounds of his cock being pumped are loud and clear. His slit must be red, his balls swollen, as he fists himself—-his groans beating from his chest. And then he’s exploding, his cries enchanting and exhilarating. He’s groaning, working to extend his orgasm as long as he can, his lover’s name leaving his tongue in a delicious roar, her pussy pulsating at the explicit noises. 

“Love you so much bunny, can’t wait to lick you up, wanna be your good girl, I love you, I love you, I love you” She’s breathless, her body still wrapped in the fog of a nearby harbor, reveling in her satisfaction. 

Harry laughs, breathily, “Good girl, eh? Gonna take you up on that, baby. Christ, I love you. Gonna race home the moment I leave” 

The two bask in the afterglow, seperated by mountains and lakes. They continue talking, til they’re both so knackered that they can hardly keep their lids open. They exchange one last “I love you” before passing out, their phones by their ears, as the moon drops from the sky. Content, drained, and yearning. 

[alkhale]

Crazy (Hausen/Reader) Ko-fi Request

Hi! Im back with a lot of commission for you. I looked at your old post to see the animes that you could know and surprised you have already seen Gangsta. So I would like to know if I can get an Doug x reader or Hausen x reader (or any character of your choice :)).

I love and miss Gangsta so much, hoping for more chapters and episode to eventual come ;-; Here you go!

(Crazy)

Fandom: Gangsta

Pairing: Hausen/Reader

His boots hit the floor in an even clack clack clack. The military issued steel resounding his foremost intent with thunderous arrival.

Several of the guild members glanced up, some half roused from an evening snooze, others just filing back in from a scouting mission or watch, all of them congregated in one of the main room areas. A few veterans watched the hard set of Hausen’s jaw, skittering off to stay out of the Twilight’s way. They quickly tugged wooden chairs back, sneaking off behind tables and ducking down to the counters. Others glanced to the rugged, muscled outline of his shoulders and back and glanced to each other, whispering guesses on who’d be on the receiving end of his obvious malintent.

“Someone really messed up today, didn’t they?”

“Aw, who fucked up?”

“‘s not me man! I ain’t even on schedule.”

One man shouldered his partner, motioning roughly with his chin. The others all looked, stopping at the sight of the crumpled, brightly colored object in Hausen’s left hand.

The dirty blonde ignored the chatter, camo jacket tied snug around the set of his waist. Hausen swept icy blue eyes once across the room, squinting as though in search of something before he scowled, continuing onwards.

The guild members winced when he kicked the door clean open, stepping into the hallway. It slammed shut behind him.

“Aw, shit.”

“Yeesh.”

“Everyone stand clear, this one’s gonna get messy.”

A few bills were tossed into the center of the table. Heads turned, glancing over.

“Sir’s gonna beat their asses.”

“Naw, Ginger’s gonna stop ‘em before anythin’ happens.”

“They break up!”

“Bet!”

Hausen dragged a hand down his face, lips pulled down into a half-irritated scowl at the words flinging from the door. I can hear you, you dumbasses. He’d have them running laps or cleaning out the temporary Twilight housing facilities later.

Hausen had more important business to see to.

He gripped the object in his hand with renewed vigor, storming his way down the hall with purpose. His military Twilight tags clanked around his neck, clinking together alongside with one that didn’t match his own set. A few rungs of doors were open on the way down to the medical wing, Arthur and Lancelot peeking their heads out from where they’d been fooling around in a slumbering Gawain’s room.

“Hey, Hausen!” Arthur greeted cheerfully. Hausen offered him a quick wave. Lancelot peeked out from right beneath his friend, fixing his goggles. 

“Who’re the flowers for?”

Hausen’s scowl deepened. In his hand was a crumpled bouquet, the pretty pink paper wrapping crinkling under the force of his grip. The stems inside threatened to snap, wheezing at the onslaught while the bright, full sunflowers bobbed unsteadily.

A vein throbbed against the side of Hausen’s head. Arthur pressed a hand down over Lancelot’s head, ponytail bobbing. “Did you hear? (Y/n)’s back—”

Both Arthur and Lancelot stopped, blinking at Hausen’s almost constipated expression.

Gawain snorted from his bunk bed, arms tucked under the soft tufts of his pinkish hair. He kept his eyes closed, legs kicked over the restboard.

“I,” Hausen grunted. “Heard.”

He nodded gruffly to them, marching down the hall, dog tags swaying. Arthur and Lancelot blinked once at his back, blinking again when they looked at each other.

“What’s got him in such a bad move?”

“I wouldn’t worry about it,” Gawain yawned. “Go take a nap or something.”

“Gawain, you’re always sleeping.”

Hausen finally drew his boots to a rough halt just before the medical wing’s doors. There was a bit of chatter on the other side, a few of the Twilights on shift working to organize or help out anyone still injured. Hausen waited a minute longer, fingers rolling over the top of the rusted brass knob. The flowers sagged at his side, no longer brimming with the usual energy sunflowers were supposed to.

Hausen rubbed the back of his head, ruffling the short cropped tufts of blonde hair with an aggravated sigh. Did you have to make things so difficult? 

He heard your soft voice, muffled through the door. Hausen heaved a rough sigh, masking it as a grunt as he pushed the door open, hefting the flowers over his shoulder.

The door opened with a little more noise than necessary to announce his arrival. A few of the guild members glanced up, blinking at first in surprise before their expressions dawned in understanding. They became pale, sweat rolling down the sides of their cheeks as they looked first to Hausen’s hulking frame in the door and then quickly to you.

Hausen only had eyes for you.

You were sitting up in the dingy medical bed, another Twilight sitting in the chair beside you with a medical chart. Your hair was pulled back, revealing the scarred, toned column of your neck to Hausen. Patches of open skin between the mottled scars he’d leave trails of kisses and lingering bites when you were a little more willing than usual.

You had a knee propped up onto the bed, the other dangling, wrapped up thickly in a cast. Fractured. He’d already heard the news. Mounds of bandages were wrapped up your arms, a hefty patch of gauze peeking from under the loose white t-shirt you’d shrugged on to hide the brunt of the beating you took from the last mission call. Another set of bandages were patched over your cheek, making you look a little ridiculous.

Dog tags dangled from the thin chain around your neck. Your own Twilight markings coupled with a tag that didn’t match the other one.

Hausen gripped the flowers. The stems snapped inside the paper wrapping.

He waited for you to make the first move, watching in growingly irritated silence as you dully glanced up, expression neutral. You took in his entire appearance, black tank top and camo attire and crumpled flowers, expression never once wavering.

You snorted, looking back down.

Hausen felt a vein pop.

“We’re just gonna,” one guild member started, gesturing vaguely to the door. Hausen stepped aside, nodding. “Go now. Yeah, we’re gonna go now.”

They scrambled out of the room, leaving the two of you to your own privacy.

Hausen flexed his fingers, curling them tightly into a fist before he cocked his head back. He set a hand down on his hip, fixing you with all the you-better-start-talking-right-now he could muster.

You said nothing, browsing through a crumpled magazine in your lap.

“What the hell is your problem?” Hausen exclaimed, throwing his hands and the flowers into the air. You rolled your eyes. “Why are you like this? You’re always like this! Ya like bein’ difficult? You drive me nuts!”

You flipped a page.

“I told you not to take that hire,” Hausen started, pacing around the room as he shook his finger. His heavy steps made the table shake and you kicked your good foot out to stop the empty vase from toppling over. “I told you. But do you listen? No. You never listen. I said don’t do it!”

You said nothing, flipping another page.

“I rank fucking higher than you but you don’t even care!” Hausen snapped. “What’s the point of bein’ your superior if I don’t even get any respect?”

“You,” you said finally. Your hoarse voice was music to his ears, tearing Hausen up over whether he should just take you up in your arms and spend the time doing something else instead of giving you the tongue lashing he’d been rehearsing this whole time. “Told me not to go as Hausen. Not as my superior.”

Hausen went rigid, setting his jaw. You flashed him a defiant look. “‘s that wrong?”

“That’s not the point.”

“‘s totally the point,” you muttered. “Paulkee said it was mine if I wanted it. I wanted it.”

“Then you should’ve asked me to come with you.”

“Ya got other stuff to do,” you said. “And I managed.”

“You look like they threw you through a fucking roof.”

“‘s a balcony, but close enough.”

Hausen growled. You rolled your eyes, turning to face him, expression neutral despite his rippling frustration. You were used to this after all. For all his bravado and cool when it came down to it, Hausen was always the kind of guy to get worked up over the things that needed it less.

Cause he’s a good guy. 

“Going anyway without telling me was one thing,” Hausen said, marching right over to you. The sunflowers bobbed and you shot them a pitiful look. “Ya spit on my boots with that one. But comin’ back and not saying a thing? Ya might as well punch me in the face! What’re you trying to say?”

Hausen stopped, flashing you a dangerous look. He narrowed his eyes, pointing a rigid finger at you. “If this is your own dumbass idea of trying to leave me hanging—”

“Ya sayin’ I can’t break up with ya if I wanted to?”

“You bet your fucking ass I am.”

“Well, I’m not. I’m tired,” you said flatly. “I didn’t want to hear you yell at me like ya are now.”

Hausen made choking motions for your throat. You leaned back, gingerly adjusting your casted foot. “Why do I even put up with you? Sir’s got a better chance of kicking your fucking ass than I do!”

“‘s somethin’ only you can answer,” you said nimbly. Hausen threw his hands back into his hair. You watched him, eyes traveling all over, checking for new wounds, for new scars. When you found none you let your shoulders rest, feeling the fatigue come crawling back.

“Took that stupid mission, never listen to me when I got something to say, dumbass always doing whatever the hell ya want and—”

“I missed ya.”

Hausen stopped. His jaw worked, entire body shifting as he swung his head back to you. Your face was soft, eyes sleepy as you looked up at him. Your taped fingers lightly thumbed your tags, pinching the one that wasn’t yours.

The one that matched with his other missing one, coupled next to your own swinging round his neck.

Hausen narrowed his eyes, watching you suspiciously. His eyes darted once to your fingers, watching you play with the tags.

You could see the moment you’d won him again. The moment he went a little soft, a little proud of his name swinging against the metal next to yours. A shitty, simple little thing that couldn’t compare to what people better off could have for each other—but for you at least, you’d want nothing else.

Hausen really was too good for you. 

“Missed you,” you said again, looking up at him. You opened your arms, the single invitation. Hausen went stiff. “Lots. ‘m sorry.”

A low, tight, aggravated sigh was exhaled through his nose. Hausen rubbed his temples once, shaking his head as though to berate himself before he tossed the poor, crumpled flowers off the side. They smashed into the empty vase, nearly knocking it over as he marched right over to you. 

Your lips already started to turn up into a grin, knowing one of the strongest Twilight’s of the Paulkee Guild was still too good of a man to stay mad when all he wanted was—

Hausen’s body fell over yours in an instant. He gingerly lifted your injured leg, long, calloused fingers moving against your thigh with ease and setting it up behind him onto one of the chairs. He came forward, one arm moving around your waist, holding you there and holding you tight as he surged forward to claim your lips, his other hand coming around and cradling the back of your neck to hold you steady so you wouldn’t try anything funny.

“I don’t even know why I put up with you,” he breathed against your lips, warm and firm and here, here, here right against you. You closed your eyes, fingers dancing over his arms before he grunted and you slid them around his neck. “You drive me nuts.”

��You’re the one who came for me,” you said. Hausen grunted again. Your lips quirked. “You’re too good for me, Hau. You outta run before I ruin you.”

“Yeah,” Hausen said, low, voice thick. He pressed you back into the creaky, cheap medical med, the familiar smells of this place you called home and this man you let hold you, over anyone or anything else in this shitty world. Hausen smoothed his fingers down your cheek, drinking in every last piece of you. “I really should.”

His dog tags clinked against yours, resting over your collarbone as they slid together. 

You simply smiled, shaking your head in pity for the poor Twilight as he slotted his lips over yours, working with all his energy and muscles to snatch your breath away and remind you why you should do nothing else but stay beside him too, remind you why there should be no one else but him for you, the way you were the only one for him.

The way it should be, for as long as you two had in this shitty world.

(Hope you enjoyed! Thank you for your support!)

[survivingthejungle]

little lies v

FINE I FINALLY DID IT.

also god he’s so pretty. i think id let him do anything to me

“Tommy. You never want to be with me anymore,” you sighed, a pout on your lips. He was leaving that morning to go to a meeting of the board of Shelby Company Limited, and refused to let you accompany him. “It’s business, little bird. You don’t need to worry yourself about my business. You just stay here and do what you do best.” He was buttoning his vest on over his shirt, followed shortly after by his jacket. Once he was by the door slipping his shoes on, you knew there was no way you’d convince him to take you with him. “What do I do best?” you wondered, genuinely interested. You were bundled up under the covers, only your face being visible since the room was too cold for you to want to leave your warm cocoon. You had clung to Tommy all night, like a sloth or a koala to a tree branch, and you dearly missed his warmth. He looked at you and winked quickly. “Look pretty and steal hearts.” You frowned at him, creasing your eyebrows before throwing the covers back over your head and turning your back to him. “What’s that attitude about, eh?” “You don’t take me seriously,” you grumbled. “I don’t wanna talk to you anymore.”

He silently sat down on the edge of the bed, causing it to dip and roll you next to his side. He put his arm on your other side, effectively trapping you, and pulled the cover down from your face. You were glaring mad at him. “Go away and do your stupid job.” “My, you’re feeling quite brave today, is that it? Givin’ me orders, bein’ a brat.” His face got closer to your own and your breath hitched. His eyes were so intense and demanding that you almost felt as if your resolve was just vanishing away. He leaned closer and kissed your cheek, but when he pulled away, he didn’t move far. “I just hate when you leave me alone.” You got a sad look in your eyes. “I’m sorry.” “Oh, my sweet girl.” He sat up and pulled you to sit up with him, cradling you to his chest. You clung to him tightly and pressed your face to his chest. “Don’t cry, eh? Too pretty to be cryin’ over this old man.” “You’re not that old,” you noted, seriously, and he chuckled. You felt his chest rumble and your heart leapt. “Aye, whatever you say.” He tilted your chin up to look at him. “I’ll be back here before you know it. I promise.” “Pinky promise?” you asked, eyes wide and genuine. You were so innocent, so delicate, he thought, that at times he was afraid to touch you; afraid you might shatter like a glass doll. But your doe-eyes made him weak, and when you looked at him like that you could convince him to do almost anything. It was a wonder than you hadn’t realized that yet. He kissed your nose. “Pinky promise.” You locked fingers and grinned, and his heart swelled. — “You know, when this business began I did some research on you,” Jessie Eden spoke. She was calm, cool, and collected, as always. “It turns out I know someone who used to know you very well. Kitty Jurossi.” When Tommy remained silent and stoic, she continued. “You were in love with Kitty’s sister, Greta Jurossi, before the war. Do you remember Greta Jurossi? Her parents were Italian. They didn’t approve of a Watery Lane Gypsy, but you won them over. With your charm. Sweetness.” Tommy scoffed lightly. “Very, very thorough research.” “Greta died at the age of 19. Of consumption. And Kitty said you were at her bedside for three months. Every day, holding her hand. And after she died, you went away to war. Kitty said that the sweet boy who left never came back.” “No one came back.” “Here’s the funniest thing— I’ve heard from people around that there’s another young girl you’re involved with. Say she’s 19 as well. Doesn’t look much like Greta, but she’s very young, very impressionable, very trusting. And I worry for that young girl, Thomas. I worry that she thinks she’s hanging around the Tommy before the war, and that she doesn’t realize all the shit that you’ve gotten yourself — and her — into. And it seems to me like that’s something you’re trying to keep from her.” Tommy stood up from his seat abruptly. “Is that true?” He strolled over to the gramophone and put the record on, faint music breaking up the tense silence. If Ms. Eden was threatening to reveal information about him to you — things you didn’t already know, things he didn’t want you to know — it was going to be a difficult night. — Tommy returned later than usual that night— in fact, he returned quite early in the morning. You were sound asleep in his bed. He noted that you had been sleeping in his room nearly every night since he had moved your family from the quaint little cottage you’d been in. You had donned one of his shirts in lieu of your nightdress, because it smelled like him and he still hadn’t come home and you were so tired and you missed him so much but you didn’t have the energy to keep your eyes open any longer… Your mouth was hanging open slightly, and Tommy’s eyes were drawn immediately to your lips. Your breathing was full and steady and he watched as your chest rose and fell, rose and fell, rose and fell. He shrugged his jacket, vest, and shirt off, leaving himself only in his undershirt and dress pants. On second thought, and after removing his shoes, he changed into a pair of sleep pants, as well. He slipped into bed behind you, trying carefully not to stir you, and laid over the covers as well, hoping that he wasn’t disturbing you so much that you’d be woken up. Unfortunately, it was in vain, because the second he was beside you, you were awake. “Tommy?” “Get back to sleep, love. I’m right here.” “What time is it?” “About three.” You flipped around to face him and his arm cradled you to him, the other one coming around behind you to hold you close. “You keep lying to me.” “Alright. You caught me. It’s quarter past.” “No, Tommy. I’m being serious. You promised me you’d be back tonight and now it’s three in the morning and you just got back. And you’re never here. I never see you anymore. I miss you and you’re always gone.” He sighed heavily and pressed his nose to yours. “You’re right, dove. I’m sorry. I’ve been busy with work and with the Italians. I’m trying my best to keep you and my family safe, and sometimes, that means I’m not gonna be around often, eh?” You tucked your head under his chin. “I know. I know. But I miss you. I’m all alone all the time and there’s nothing to do.” “I’ll try to fix that. Yeah? But you’ve gotta be patient, alright? Now, I’m sorry I didn’t come home earlier tonight. I had a lot to take care of, but I made you a promise, and I didn’t follow through.” “And it was a pinky promise,” you reminded him. You took pinky promises very seriously. “And it was a pinky promise. You’re right. And I let you down. I’m sorry.” “It’s okay, Tommy. You didn’t mean to.” You nuzzled into his chest and smiled softly. “And you’re here now. So I don’t have to worry about you for now.” “Don’t you worry about me, little bird. It’s my job to worry about you. Not the other way around, eh? Now go back to sleep, silly girl.” “Don’t call me girl,” you protested. “Old man.” Tommy smirked at your sass and pinched your backside in response, causing you to squeal and jerk in response. This rose a chuckle from him. “Stop being mean to me,” you demanded. “Or I’ll go back to my room forever.” His arms came back to sneak around you as he tugged you tighter to him, effectively trapping you. “No you won’t, brat. Now go back to sleep.” “Goodnight Tommy.” You leaned up to kiss his cheek. He kissed your forehead in return and let his mouth rest on the crown of your head. “Goodnight, my (Y/N). Goodnight,” he whispered. — The next morning, not long after the sun rose, so did Tommy. Once he was mostly dressed he took a moment to relax, standing next to his window and watching the lifeless street down below. You hadn’t woken up yet; unless you decided you wanted to watch a sunrise, you never woke up before nine in the morning. He hated to leave you and your warmth, but there was always business to attend to. Suddenly, interrupting the silence, came a single gunshot. You woke up. “What was that?” you asked, still sleepy but very exasperated. You looked intently at Tommy. Tommy, who had all the answers. Tommy, who you thought knew everything. “I dunno,” he mumbled, peeking out the window to see if he could make out where it had come from. “Stay here.” With that he rushed out of the room and into the street, where he saw his youngest brother Finn coming to search for the source of the shot as well. You pulled up a chair by the window and watched as they both entered into the neighboring house, which belonged to the oldest Shelby, Arthur. You had been over there your fair share of times, keeping his wife Linda company and babysitting their sweet little son. After what felt like hours, but was really only minutes, Tommy returned upstairs, seemingly exhausted and done with the world. He sat down on the edge of the bed and you came over to him, tucking your legs underneath you and linking your arms around his left. You rested your head on his shoulder and his right hand came up to stroke your hair. “Is everything okay?” you wondered, genuinely concerned. He let out a frustrated sigh. “My fuckin’ brother’s losin’ his mind.” Your heart broke; you really liked the Shelby family and you knew that he was very close with his siblings. For him to admit that and have to deal with it so directly couldn’t have been easy for him. “I’m sorry, Tommy. I wish I could help,” you told him. “I wish I could, too, little bird. But I’ve got bigger problems to worry about at the moment.” He paused for a split second. “Like getting rid of these fuckin’ Italians.” “I like Italians,” you admitted absentmindedly. “They have good food.” Leave it to you to brighten Tommy’s mood when he was in such a dark place just a moment before. He let out a faint chuckle. “Why don’t you go down to the shop today with Finn, eh?” he suggested. “Get yourself out of this house for a bit.” Your eyes lit up. “Yes!” You disappeared from Tommy’s side and rushed to your room to get dressed, returning to him almost no sooner than you’d left. “I like hanging out with Finn. He’s fun to mess with,” you grinned. You seemed like a fae to him in the moment, getting worked up about being able to tease and taunt someone all day. “Ah, well, don’t mess with him too much. He’s in charge of you today ‘till I get back.” “Boo,” you pouted. “Does he know?” He stood up from the edge of the bed and walked over to you, grabbing your chin while you were in the middle of slipping a shoe on. “Yes; so don’t piss ‘im off. ‘Cause then you’ll have to deal with me.” Your heart fluttered with the butterflies in your stomach. “Be good for me today, little bird. D’you understand?” “Yes Tommy,” you spoke softly, staring into his lovely eyes. There was something about them that was enchanting. When he asked or told you to do something, you had a difficult time even trying to disobey. “That’s my girl.” He leaned down and kissed your nose and you smiled big for him in response. “Now get out of here, you’re gonna make him late.” — You followed Finn into the shop, nearly jogging to keep up with his fast pace. “Slow down, Finn!” “Walk faster, (Y/N),” he retorted. You stuck your tongue out at him and he mockingly did the same. He swung the door open and led you both inside. Once he caught sight of Polly, he spoke up again. “The rule is that the door should always remain locked until nine A.M.” You rolled your eyes. “Stick in the mud,” you mumbled. Polly rolled her eyes as well and stopped him before you could go to Arthur’s office. “Right. Boy. Boy, where are you going? And why’s the girl here?” “Well Arthur’s not coming in today. He’s taking the day off. So…” “So what?” Lizzie goaded. “So, today, Tommy said that I’m in charge. And that I had to keep an eye on (Y/N) today, too.” “Sorry,” Pol said, though she definitely wasn’t, “You’re in charge?” “Yeah. That’s what he said.” She stood up, yanking the phone plug out of the socket and placing it at Linda’s temporary desk. “Alright, sweetheart. Ladies, let’s give our boss a first day that he’ll never forget.” You grinned mischievously at Polly and she gave you a knowing wink. — Three hours later and you were being dropped off at Tommy's office by a driver that Lizzie had called for. Finn was being eaten alive by his aunt and sister-in-law, and she knew that Tommy'd listen to whatever you had to say. You didn't even stop to greet him properly when you walked in. "Lizzie wanted me to tell you that sending Finn to the shop was a mistake." His concentration was broken and he looked up at you, slightly startled that you'd shown up out of nowhere. "They found out he was a virgin and are 'arranging a girl' for him this afternoon," you admitted, only blushing faintly. "She wanted me to get out and come tell you before they could start picking on me, too." "Oh, Christ," he mumbled. You came around his desk and sat on the edge, facing him. "I don't have the fuckin' time for this today." "I'm sorry. She just wanted me to deliver the message." "Don't be sorry, bird. Not too busy for you, eh?" He stood up and grabbed your hand, leading you toward the door while he slipped his coat on. "Come on." "Where we goin'?" you asked up at him. "Somewhere I've not been in a long time," he answered cryptically. — It was some sort of creek, or very backwoods river. There were a series of arched tunnels leading out to it, and you sat on a haystack under one as Tommy stood at the edge of the water. You were swinging your feet and kicking at the pebbles on the ground, shivering slightly. There was a croaky-sounding bird that kept chirping across the water as fog drifted downstream swiftly. Before you could speak up and ask where you were, he broke the silence. "We used to come here. She'd wait for hours, for me. When I couldn't make it. And I'd wait for her when her family kept her in." There was a sad, melancholic tone to his voice, and he was almost whispering. "Who?" you wondered. "Some girl," he admitted. "Some girl before France." You had almost forgotten that Tommy had fought in the Great War. That was a long time ago, you figured, when you were still little. And Tommy was there in France, thousands of miles away, nearly getting killed every time he breathed or took a single step. He turned around to you and walked towards you, taking a final drag of his cigarette and throwing it to the ground. "I've not been back here since." He rested his hand on your arm and stood in front of you, looking down. "Wanted to come back here with you." Then his hand was pushing the stray hairs back from your face, tilting your chin up, and kissing you softly. Your head went fuzzy for a moment before your senses came back to you. You pulled away. "Are you kissing her or me?" you asked sadly. His hands rubbed up the sides of your arms which felt as if they were about to freeze off. "You," he whispered. Then he grabbed your face in both of his hands again and kissed you once more. "Always you." — After you'd been returned home by Tommy, he had a list of demands for the company to take care of at the shop. "I want Shelby Company Limited to increase non-taxable charitable contributions to local charities by twenty five percent. As of now," he announced. Lizzie took note as Polly, Linda, and Finn just stared. "I'm gonna build two new institutes for destitute children. One in Saltley, one in Digbeth. I've already identified the buildings. Two former workhouses. Lizzie?" She looked up at him. "I want you to be in charge of the project." "Why?" she asked, dead-faced. "Because… I promised someone I'd change the world." — Later in the night, Polly Gray decided to go to a bar by herself with plans to meet someone; plans of which her family could never learn. When the mystery gentleman in question appeared, they kept their interaction civil and inconspicuous. "This is public enough, no?" he drawled, thick New York accent making him stand out among the crowd. "Yes." "So?" he chided. "The boy in the hospital is out of bounds." Her son. Michael. The one they'd almost lost again. "And I will ask you to spare Finn and Arthur." He looked displeased but was not averse to cooperating. "In return for what?" "Tommy Shelby. And the girl, by association." "What makes you think I want that girl?" "Oh, please, Luca," she scoffed. "Men like you and Tommy always want girls like her." This arrangement clearly struck his fancy, but he was not trusting of any of these Birmingham folk. "And, uh, why should I trust you?" "Because you know our history," she responded cryptically. "You know what happened between us." "You are an unlikely Cassius," he muttered, taking a sip of his drink. "John was a good boy," she started. "Arthur tries. Tommy's different. You take Tommy. Spare the rest. I don't care what you do with that girl, but it seems to me as if you've taken an interest in her." — The next morning, the hospital was ambushed by Luca Changretta and a few of his gang. There was a dramatic scuffle between him and Michael, but he fled the scene before Tommy finally rushed in. "Tell your mother… we have a deal," he instructed Michael before he left. "Michael? What happened, eh!? What happened?" Tommy hounded his younger cousin. Michael was sitting on his bedside, still visibly shaken up. "They heard you. Uh, they heard you coming," he panted. "Look, the gun misfired! They ran away." "Johnny!" Arthur growled. The two of them and Finn left to keep searching for the Italians while Tommy stayed behind. "You came just in time," Michael stuttered. "You alright? You alright?" "I'm fine," he whispered. "Fine." Tommy nodded haphazardly and put his fist to his mouth, contemplating whatever it was that was going through his mind. His gaze was locked on the window and he seemed to be in a trance for a moment. Then he looked up having a sudden realization and raced out again, heading down to the betting shop. — You were out on your own that morning, getting produce from the market to bring back to the Shelby home. You and your mother wanted to make them dinner as a thank you for taking care of you all in their difficult situation. She stayed home at your request, because you missed having your alone time; and also because she hated going to markets. She was the type of woman that would always prefer to grow her own at a fraction of the cost it took to buy it. The streets were busy, dark, cold and dirty, but you paid it no mind. You were certainly standing out among the crowd of people flooding the market. The people who lived in this dull, gloomy town wore dull, gloomy clothes— there was a lack of color, of spirit, of life. That sort of thing never appealed to you or matched your personality, so you had gotten dressed that morning and gone out in a long purple skirt adorned with blue, green, pink, and white embroidered designs all along the bottom and moving upwards. Your shirt was a simple white long sleeve, with lace across the chest and at the hem. You covered your back and arms with a maroon cotton shawl, with a few purposefully placed holes to create patterns. It had long fringes on the end and you found yourself swinging them often. You'd also slipped on a pair of thick socks underneath your old, battered, lace-up brown boots that you would usually wear when you helped your parents do outdoor work. You grabbed your mother's coin purse — she had insisted — and were soon in the midst of all the hustle and bustle of Small Heath life. After about an hour or so, you had a decent amount of groceries to show for it. That was when a hand tapped your shoulder. "'Scuze me, bella, couldn't help but notice your hands were a little full, there." You whipped your head around to find the source of the voice, and were met face to face with a tall man who had a prominent nose, sharp features, and a toothpick sticking out of his mouth. He had a cross tattoo on his neck that half stuck out from his shirt collar. He was very handsome, very tan, and very American. He seemed very familiar to you, but you just accredited that to the fact that his accent was similar to your own. “Mind if I give you a hand?” "Oh my God," you responded, "You're from America?" He smirked. "New York, sweetheart. What part of the states do you hail from?" Virginia. "My family and I are from Virginia." At that moment, your senses caught up to you. You were in Small Heath, Birmingham, on Tommy Shelby's turf; Tommy Shelby, who was in the middle of a vendetta against the Italian Mafia. The Italian Mafia that came over from New York. Then you realized: he was the man from Tommy’s office the other day. He was the one leading the vendetta against the Shelbys. Your throat constricted and your breath got caught, and suddenly you couldn’t breathe. "Um, thank you for the offer," you stuttered out, walking away from him quickly enough that you could get away, but not so quick that you'd be considered rude. "But I really have to get back home. My mom's waiting for me. It was nice meeting you." "What, don't you have a name, bella?" he called after you. Of course, he was already well aware of your name, but he wanted you to give it to him yourself. If you had heard his question, (which you did,) you wouldn't have let on that you did. You were out of the market in a heartbeat and nearly ran all the way back to the house on Watery Lane. Not a moment after you'd put the groceries down, a ringing came from the telephone in the kitchen. You picked it up since no one else was around to answer it. "Hello?" It was Tommy. Thank God. Apparently the Italians had paid his cousin in the hospital, Michael, a visit, and he was worried that they might have been targeting you next as well. "Are you alright?" "Yeah," you gulped. "Um, but I think I just met one of your Italian friends."

[boogiewrites]

Choking On Sapphires 75

Characters: Alfie Solomons x Genevieve (OFC)

Title & Song: Just Like Heaven

Summary: Genevieve hosts Passover Seder at her home with all her staff and their families. She goes to Alfie’s sisters to have Seder meal with his entire family. Will she find the family she’s been missing with the Solomons’? **Chapter song is Just Like Heaven by The Cure .**

Warnings/Tags: Domestic FLUFF. Meeting Alfie’s family. Passover Seder. FLUFF. Did I say fluff? Talk of marriage and babies. Sibling bickering. 

Click on my icon then go to my Mobile Masterlist in my bio for my other works and chapters. (Had to do this since Tumblr killed links, sorry.)

In the midst of a room full of people, you have an introspective moment to yourself. Not only your dining room, which had been surrounded by a solid circle of mix-matched chairs to accommodate all the Jewish Families that surrounded it on this first Seder meal of Passover. You even brought in another table for their children to sit at to make sure everyone was included. As the children were an integral part of the holiday.

You had started planning this holiday meal weeks ago and had culminated that early morning with the burning of the chametz in the large fireplace in the kitchen. Then the people started to arrive. You had your girls who worked for you invite anyone they might have in their lives, the employees of Abeille and otherwise were to bring their entire families, extended and all to celebrate with you. You wanted to share the good fortune you'd been blessed with this past year and you thought giving back to those who helped you every day was a good start. You'd been blessed with record-breaking business profits, had the good fortune to travel and see old friends and Altar, you'd come out alive and still able-bodied after the violence against you and yours you'd endured. On the day of you found yourself most thankful for the man that had been tottering along beside you all day. The past year you had Alife intimately involved in your life and as you both managed the house as if it were jointly your own already, you couldn't help but feel a spirit of true gratitude that encompassed the holiday itself.

You had all your rooms in your guest wing, both up and downstairs fitted with enough amenities to house the families for the night. You'd gone through the rituals and now had eaten and sang, read and recited and taught the children and now with full bellies, hearts, and minds everyone was in a lovely warm lull of conversation in the dining room after the final prayers of ""L'shanah haba'ah b'Yerushalayim! – Next year in Jerusalem!"

As the non-Jewish staff show the families into the drawing room and the sleepy children to the nursery you sit with Alfie at the head of the table in your tall-backed, ornate chairs. You'd pushed them arm to arm and you have stayed that way the entire evening. Currently, the women were scooping up children and fussing over them as they followed your girls up the stairs but you stayed by your love's side. With your arm wrapped around his, your legs lazily crossed towards him, feeling the warm effects as the number of glasses of wine you'd had. Alfie was chatty and red-faced from the wine, his posture comfortable, legs spread wide in his chair as he laughed and gossiped with the other men. It seemed at first that there might be some tension, the appearance of a known gangster at a Passover Seder, but it was soon apparent he was there for the same reasons they were. His charisma overtook any hesitancy as it always could and everyone was put into a friendly state of mind as the rituals concluded and it was shown that both of you were, in fact, practicing and not only potentially bloodthirsty people of business. The men's laughter, particularly Alfie's so rough and loud was as warm as the recently fed fire to your left on the wall of the dining room. The dark night outside was a lovely backdrop for the orange and red hues dancing across the dimly lit room as it prepared to be put to bed, the same as it's occupants.

"The misses and I will be retiring for the night." Alfie announced loudly to a room of chattering people.

"I've been going all day and I must admit I am not the young woman I once was." you say with a charming laugh. "So I'll be stealing Mr. Solomons away with me, I'm afraid." you smile broadly. "It was lovely meeting you all. I'll be seeing you at breakfast in the morning. Shalom. Kol Tuv. (Peace. Be well.)"

"L'hitraot!" Alfie says with a wave as his hand rests on your back, seeing you out of the room first before making an endearing exit with a little bow that you found delightful.

"Of all my days I've seen this could possibly feel like the longest." you say with a soft chuckle, moving to lift your dress and lightly kick your shoes off your feet. You begin to reach behind you to undo your dress when Alfie moves in behind you and takes your hands.

"It's not over yet, chooki.(honey/sweetie)" he grins and kisses the backs of your hands. "Slip on those little fluffy slippers ya like so much 'an follow me." he says, placing the soft satin shoes at your feet and holding up your dress for you as you keep your eyes on his face, seeing the softness there that made your eyes want to tear with contentment as your painted toes fumbled with their place in the shoes.

He takes you by the hand, fingers interlaced fully as he tugs you into your study, up the secretive spiral stairs into your music room and stops before the double doors that lead out to the balcony. "Now here," he says softly, putting his jacket around your shoulders. "Still a bit cold out, yeah? Not gonna have ya catchin' somefin' and not going to me own family's Seder, eh?" he teases. His hands are gentle to your face as he pats it affectionately before taking you out onto the balcony. "Couldn't pass up an opportunity with a moon like 'is on a clear night could I?" he says as if it's obvious as you reposition his coat on your body as it lay heavy and large.

"It is lovely. What's the occasion?" you ask with a tilted head and eyes reflecting a moon and innocence in the way you looked at him.

He sighs, taking your hands into his as you wait patiently for him. He wanted to commemorate the night in a special way and he'd found just that while he was at his oldest sisters house a few weeks back. "You being a perfect hostess," he says with a dip of his chin and a smile that still made your knees weak when it was directed at you. "You were the portrait of a matriarch tonight, love. Utterly stunnin'. Both in appearance and behavior." he says dramatically, his head moving back and forth, squeezing your hands in his large, warm ones. "I wanted to ease any lingering worry you might 'ave 'bout how you did tonight. You've been such a mess about it." he chuckles. "But I believe the wine and your exemplary performance might've taken away the last of the nerves you were holdin' onto, eh?" he grins and kisses your cheek.

"The wine did help." you laugh and smile. "But you being there helped more." you coo and wrinkle your nose affectionately at him.

"And I will always be there to ease your busy bee of a mind, yeah?" he says, stepping in closer and giving a soft nod of his forehead agaisnt yours. "You have shown me tonight that any doubts, no matter how small they may be, yeah? Any doubts that I might've had about bein' with a Jewish woman, about bein' wif you, were the most utterly ridiculous things to ever pass me mind. 'N I've had some bloody ridiculous fings moving 'round in this 'ol head as you well know." he gives you a playful smile you return in full. "But I was a man who only knew certainty in one part of me life before you. 'N 'at was how I could react to fings. I had nuffin' I knew for certain beyond meself." he pauses and nods his chin your way. "But then there's you, eh?" he let's go of your hands and takes you into his arms slowly as he speaks. His hands giving you a squeeze around your torso before one large, bejeweled hand moves to cup your cheek. "A man craves certainty dunnit he? And when it comes to you I have more certainty in how I feel 'bout you than I do anyfing else in me life. I know I love you, yeah? And I know you love me. 'N 'at's all a man needs in this world innit? Love of a good woman to keep him straight. Give him a purpose beyond the material. And Genny love, my perfect little Channah..." he sighs and the subtle but moving smile on his lips makes your heart thump in your chest. The moon casting blue shadows across your faces, feeling the warmth radiating from his body blocking out the cold of the still night air around you as you stood on your stone balcony overlooking the gardens. "I 'ave only ever truly loved two women in my life. That'd be me mum," he gives a supportive nod to his own statement, "And you." he says with pouted lips, a gentle press of his full lips to your forehead, leaving a warmness that tingled down to your toes as he circled behind you. "'N 'is." he says pulling out a simple diamond necklace. "Belonged to me mum." he says, the diamond sparkling in its newly polished setting in the moonlight as it dangled in front of your face as he brought it down around your neck. You felt his square tipped fingers latching it shut behind you. The countless nights of him undressing you slowly, taking off your jewelry piece by piece for you before bed had served him well as your mane of hair no longer was an obstacle he didn't know how to work around. "'N I fink she would love for you to have it. As much as I would. And after tonight it only makes sense that it finds it's new home around a new powerful and strong Jewish woman's neck. 'N that'd be you, love." he finishes, eyes looking down at your delicate and touched expression as tears threaten to fall from his sweet words. Your fingers are light against the stone. A simple rounded stone, not tiny and not large. Something modest and beautiful to serve as a reminder of where he came from to both of you.

"Ari, darling." you whisper, the stone glittery in your fingers as you looked at it. "It's gorgeous."

"Had her polished and reset, yeah? Cleaned her up and got a new chain for ya." he explains, his strong and masculine looking fingers with their callouses and hair and broken nails serve a stark contrast against the frail beauty of the thin gold chain. "I know it's not as grand as you're used to but-"

"Don't even think it." you say, your eyes shooting up fast to meet his as you shake your head. "It's perfect." you say quietly, moving to wrap your arms around his neck and meet him in a gentle kiss. "This night was perfect. You're perfect. You've given me everything a girl could want Ario. Love and certainty." you whisper against his lips. "Protection and support." you kiss him again. "It is humble... and as we should be together as well. For we can't take for granted or scorn the sort of gifts we've been given can we? We're too blessed to be greedy now. Our lives together are different than they were apart. Just as they should be. Together we're powerful, but let it serve as a reminder to always be humble. As we both know what it's like to have nothing." you say with your fingers lightly in his fluffy beard. The wrinkles in the corner of his eyes are settled now in his tiredness and content he feels at your words and actions. A peace he had long felt he didn't deserve but now knew he had because of you. If he didn't deserve it for all the things he'd done, he would gladly be the man to give you what you deserved. And he thought you deserved the world.

"And without you I have nothing." he whispers back, hands mingling together with timid fingers against each other's faces and bodies as you interlock your lips in a passionate wordless display of your love for each other. "And because of that... let's get us to bed, yeah? Not gonna lose ya to the bloody cold now am I?" he grins, a soft kiss full of lip and whisker against your cheek and neck as he pulls his jacket around you tighter, his arm across your small shoulders, shielding you from the very chill he was fearful of.

------ Your eyes are downturned and unblinking. Alfie was pretty sure you hadn't blinked since getting in the car. He saw your nails fidget over each other, the way you would be so lost in thought you'd forget to breathe for a moment and have to take a deep breath. He was now expert in reading all your nervous signs and he knew there would be plenty tonight.

"Love?" he says with a subtle shake of his head, reaching out and patting at your hands. "Stop that now. Ya actin' like you're goin' to be interrogated." he lets out an amused chuckle.

"Well I am in some capacity aren't I?" you say, turning your head with pursed lips of offense taken his way.

He opens his mouth to form a rebuttal but closes it instead, shrugging and looking away. You weren't wrong.

"This just-"

"Means a lot. I know, pet." he says with a sigh, reaching out and taking your hand this time. "But you look lovely, and you are lovely. I have no doubts they'll be perfectly acceptin' of ya dear. If they put up wif me, why wouldn't they want someone as hospitable as you, eh?"

"I'll be fine once I'm there. I'll put my confident face over my nervous one." you say with a nod of your head. "My word how did you stay so calm meeting Altar?" you let out a laugh that surprises him.

"Well I wunnit." he lets out an amused hum.

"Not to speak poorly of your family at all but I believe Altar would be far more intimidating than anyone you've got waiting for me at your sisters." you say with a smile.

"You haven't met my nephew." he laughs.

"Your nephew? Who is he?"

"You'll know 'em when ya see 'im." he grins. "But he's harmless really. Well to you anyway."

"What do you mean to me?" your eyes narrow.

"Well, he boxes for me. Good lad. Not undefeated but he is a  beast."

"If he has you overseeing him I have no doubt." you say with your usual sweet charm back, giving his chin an affection scratch as you forget for a moment that you're about to meet your future in-laws. -------

"What a darling house." you say standing and waiting for Alfie to finish grunting as he stretches his legs and adjusts his coat.

"Yeah me sister didn't want it until she saw it." he laughs.

"Didn't want it?" you ask with a tilt of your head.

"I bought it for her." he says with an obvious tone. "Got all the loons houses after their husbands passed in the war." he says holding out his arm for you to take as you ascend the short case of stone stairs up to the masonry home,

"You are the sweetest man." you coo, beaming up at him.

"You said it yaself, real estate's an easy way to hide money innit?" he winks and gives you a cheeky grin.

"Hide your kindess, darling." you laugh and give his strong arm a smooch through his jacket before he holds his hand in front of the large red door.

"Ready? Ya look good. Ya beautiful as always but approachable." he gives you a reassuring nod.

"Ready." you say with a smile, feeling oddly calm. You hear the voices of a large family inside and you take a deep breath. This is what you'd been wanting for years now. A family to come to, children and elders and brothers and sisters to bicker and gossip with. Alfie was giving you that, bringing you into his. This was the beginning of a new chapter in your life. One with a close family. ------

"SHALOM!" a man dressed in a similar fashion to Alfie answers the door, older with far more white in his hair that's worn as unkempt as Alfie's was when you first met him.

"SHALOM, Uncle." he says as the man comes at him with wide arms that encase him in a hug that makes Alfie let out an uncomfortable grunt.

"We never see you anymore! Only at holidays! I'm an old man and you are the last of Peninah's boys, I should be seeing you more!" he exclaims, holding his face and giving it a firm pat before even noticing you. "And who is THIS?!" he says with a face that lit up like a firework at the possibilities of who you might be.

"This is my darling Genevieve Durand." he says proudly, a strong hand to your back as he presents you to the enthusiastic man.

"WHO IS IT?" a woman's voice comes from behind the man.

"It it little Ari and he has BROUGHT A WOMAN!" he says loudly before he begins laughing.

"A WHAT?!" a chorus of voices comes from inside the warmth of the house.

"Not all of 'em knew you's comin'." he says quietly in your ear as a gaggle of women approach.

"Oh dear." you say with a nervous smile.

"Oh and a lovely one at that!" one says pushing the uncle out of the way and moving to take your hands. "And who are you? Come! Come!" she says pulling you into the home and taking your coat.

"I'm Genevieve Durand. Shalom, chag sameach (happy fesitval)." you say as they eyeball you and you politely nod time and time again with your greetings to each.

"Let me see her!" a loud booming woman's voice comes from around the corner. As soon as you saw her you knew she had to be one of Alfie's sisters. She was a broad woman, older than him with the same dark gingery hair and full lips. "Oh!" she says with a pleased smile. "I knew to capture the old hound's heart she'd have to be a vision and she is!" she says embracing you in a hug that makes your stomach flutter with the unconditional affection you were receiving. You didn't know what to expect out of the Solomons family but it was clear that love was in no short supply.

"And in mother's necklace." a woman younger than the first, with bright ginger hair and a sweet round face, a baby in her arms. "I was so excited to hear Ari finally found himself someone. And he did not sell your beauty short. You have that man under your thumb, love." she laughs and hugs you with one arm. "Where's Sarah? She's not believed that he'd bring someone." she laughs.

"Ya gonna scare her off." he laughs, bringing you in close to his side.

"Nonsense! If she can handle you she can handle us." the older one says.

"This is Matilda." Alfie motions towards the red-haired woman with the baby in her arms. "The baby." he says with a quick pinch of her chin. "And that old mare is Rachel." he laughs as she shoves him before giving his cheek a hard pinch.

"I'm older than him so he has to listen to me. This is why he's such a little boy who throws around insults." she says with an amused nod of her head.

"Oh my word she is real." the middle sister, still older than Alfie comes into view. She has beautiful but tired blue eyes like his and the same strong nose. Her dark hair is worn up and is falling along the edges, presumably from cooking as she wears an apron with stains smudged on it over her dress.

"I am." you say with a soft chuckle.

"Bless you for putting up with our Ari for us!" she laughs and embraces you. "Mind the apron love wouldn't want to dirty up that lovely dress." she gets out quickly, pushing her hips away from you. "You were Genny correct?"

"You may call me Gen if you wouldn't mind. Ari is the only one that won't stop calling me Genny." you laugh with a bashful bow of your head. "But if you'd prefer, call me Chanah. It is my given name by my mother."

"A strong and pretty name for a woman of the same qualities." she remarks. "The boy never listens does he?" she grins with a knowing smile. "And calling him Ari. How precious are you too?"

"Oh my apologies. I suppose I got comfortable fast with you." you smile. "What with how everyone's been so nice and welcoming."

"Love, our little brother has never brought a woman home. Let alone giving her our mother's necklace. To me you're married already. So welcome to the family, Chanah. Chanah Solomons. Does have a nice sound to it methinks." she laughs and bops Alfie's nose.

"Our upcoming engagement is merely a formality as far as I'm concerned. Treat her as one of us. I do." he beams proudly and kisses the side of your head. "We are only not betrothed because I must find a means grand enough to propose to this perfect woman. She deserves the stars and I am finding a way to pull them from the sky for her." he laughs and it makes you blush.

"Ugh! And to make him speak so sweet!" the youngest Matilda swoons.

"Then Chanah, welcome!" Rachel says happily. "Let us go to the kitchen, eh? Let him get interrogated by the men so they won't embarrass you too much, yeah?" she smiles and puts her hand to your back to move you down the hall.

"See you in a bit, love." he says with a wink. "Don't be too honest wif 'em 'bout me, eh?" he laughs as the large hands of the male family members move to pat him on the back and yank him into the other room. ----------- Alfie is certainly interrogated as he's sat down in the middle of the worn couch with its almost threadbare arms surrounded by his curious family. An amused look on his nephew Goliath's face as he sees his uncle being forced to undergo a downpour of questions.

"We met at a club and worked together." he'd answer. "She helped me out when me house caught fire, remember 'at?" he tried to explain. "It just sorta happened. As it does, yeah? What was I supposed to do? Say no to a rich, smart, beautiful woman who for some reason, bless her, wanted to be wif me?" he laughs.

"And you love her. I can tell." the oldest man says, giving his beaming approval to the last bachelor of his group finally finding his match.

"I do, yeah." he nods with his lips pursed.

"And will she be joining us soon? A little Misses Alfred Ari Solomons?" he chuckles.

"Wifin the month." he says with a confident nod and the smattering of celebratory applause

"Then may she say yes and all your endeavors together be fruitful! Bring us many more children and another strong woman into our family. For it takes a strong one to deal with us Solomons'." he raises a glass and those who have one follow suit. "L'chaim!" they all call out.

"You got yourself a pretty one Uncle." one of his teenage nephews says, walking in from the kitchen where you'd been sequestered. "I've read about her in the papers. She's got right large... assets dunnit she?" he lets out a snorting laugh as Alfie reaches out and smacks the side of his head.

"Abe, boy watch yourself. You may think you have to worry 'bout me hearin' that talk but that woman'll kill y if she hears it." he says with a wagging finger and a smirk. If only he knew he was being entirely serious.

In a kitchen you did not know your way around you were holding plates up high to avoid the darting children that kept running around with no forewarning. You were flattered they let you help set up the table. They didn't know you but were placing faith in you that you knew what you were doing and luckily for you, you had done this just the day before. The meal goes by without a hitch. You knew the words to the prayers and songs, and except for your amateur understanding of the older men speaking Yiddish and Hebrew amongst each other, you couldn't have been clocked for anything other than a born and raised Jewish woman.

The four cups of wine once again have you feeling floating and unconcerned as you and Alfie both answer questions as they come. He holds your hand and affectionately rests his arm across the back of your chair through the conversation after the meal. The children are put to bed, most carried and some of the extended family left as the little ones were worn out from the festivities.  Alfie offers to help carry already snoozing babies from upstairs as you stand back and let the family fall into their obviously well-practiced exit strategy as you stand back and take a moment to take in the photos on the walls.

The section of the hallway with the half table covered in flowers with candles and very old and worn photographs in nice frames holds your attention. A boy who so much resembled Alfie in a uniform sat among a scattering of faces, some who were barely legible. A couple, a broad and strong man with a beard and a stern face sits next to a woman who has a sweet round face like Matilda. You guessed these were his parents. He really did resemble his father, all the children did. The Solomons have strong genes it seemed and you give a sad smile to the photo of his brother you'd never meet, forever memorialized as young and powerful with the same brightness in his eyes that you saw in Alfie's when he would allow himself to really be amused by something. You wonder what sort of empire there could've been if his brother had lived. But then again, who knows how he would've come back from the war, you knew Alfie was certainly different than when he had left. You see his uniformed picture hanging on the wall next to group photos of him and his siblings as children. At each bar and bat mitzvah reciting they stand with their mouths open. Young Alfie looking so darling and sweet you reach out to touch the photo of him in his Captain's uniform. He looked like he belonged to have a uniform to show his importance, you hadn't thought you'd like it as it reminded you of your brother and all the trouble he had coming back home. But Alfie was too beautiful and strong to dislike in your eyes. It was clear one was taken before and one after the war. A common uniform in the first with a baby face and clean shaven. His eyes were open and his back straight, the naivety only youth can give in his soft face. The other was closer to as he was now. Posture not as strong, brow low and hard with the wear shown in his tired eyes and bearded face. You glance over the collage of photographs, your mind can't help but wonder what your children might look like. As your fingertips touch his delicate face from his youth you're startled out of your fantasies of your son looking just as handsome as his father one day.

"I'm afraid I 'on't look quite as charming clean shaven nowadays." he laughs, coming up and wrapping his arm around your waist.

"Nonsense." you say withdrawing your hand.

"But ya like ya men to look like just 'at, yeah? Like men." he says playfully, nudging his nose against your hair.

"Manly men." you giggle. "Ones that look like you." you smile and kiss his cheek. "Jewish men who say lovely things about me to their sisters." you add with a dip of your chin.

"Ah. I shouldn't 'ave given 'em the ammo to use against me. Now I'm gonna be Mrs. Durand next time they see me." he laughs.

"Maybe I'll be Mrs. Solomons next time I see them." you give a cheeky grin.

"I believe 'at you will, pet." he says with a sweet but lingering kiss.

"All this wine and talk of marriage and babies has me feeling all amorous, darling. Are we to leave soon?" you ask with a soft voice.

"I was comin' to gather ya to do just 'at." he nods and wraps his arms around your back to bring you to his side to walk down the hall.

"Everyone finks ya just lovely ya know. But of course, they do."

"I'm relieved. They were so welcoming. I've never been around such warm people."

"You've not been around YOUR people sweetheart. And ya are now. Ya one of us. We take care of our own."

"I think they would've been happy to see you with anyone what with how they spoke of your bachelorhood."

"Well ya innit wrong." he shrugs. "But they also know now of your work like ya told 'em. Ya own business, home, and money. And ya clearly smart and well-read. I couldn't have done better for meself if I'd hired one of 'em match makers what my mum always insisted upon."

"Only in that circumstance am I glad you didn't listen to her."

"Me uncles was talkin' 'bout how lovely ya looked in her necklace. Almost like she was here again they said. She had the same dark hair like you 'ave ya seen?"

"I saw a picture of her in the hallway I believe."

"Was she wif an angry man what looked like me?" he grins.

"She was."

"Then 'at's her." he chuckles.

"I can't wait to have our portrait made. We can pose just like them and since I have a vague resemblance to her it'll be a lovely sentiment. Like proof that the generations are moving forward and still holding onto their past."

"You sure you stopped at four glasses 'a wine love?" he teases. "Ya talkin' all poetic on me."

"I did. I'm a good Jewish woman. I'm not supposed to drink after."

"'At you are love. My perfect little Chanah." he whispers in your ear as you reach the door and he puts on your coat, waiting for his sisters to say goodbye as they put their own children to bed. "I 'ave been instructed by the elders to go forth and be fruitful I must warn ya. I 'on't know what you'd like to get into this evenin' love but all this pride over ya has got me knowing exactly what it is I wanna get into." he gives a cheeky growl as he reaches down to pinch your bum.

"Ari!" you giggle as he plants a noisy kiss on your cheek.

"Oh look at 'em!" Rachel coos. "You two go and get out. Make me some nieces and nephews." she laughs as she kisses both yours and Alfie's cheeks. "Next time I see you I'll be calling you sister. And I'll be proud to do it, love." she says squeezing your hands. "You keep little Ari in line for me, yeah?"

"I'll do my best." you say as he keeps his hand firm on your behind.

"Let me go 'ave me fun Rachel. I'll be by.  You'll see us at Temple now, yeah? At least 'is 'n. You'll know her face and can make sure she reads off everything proper." he teases.

"I'll pray for you to have the strength to deal with him." she laughs as she sees you out the door.

"Lovely meal and chag seamach! Thank you for having me."

"Shalom sweetie! Goodnight!" she says closing the door.

"Now my little misses. You been properly introduced. And we're sloshing wif wine and all this talk of family has this old man feelin' some sort of way." he laughs his hand snaking down to cup your breast as his arm slides across your shoulders, bringing you in close. "How's 'bout a kiss 'til we get home, eh? Like a couple 'a snoggin' young fings, yeah? Get you good 'n ready for me when we get in?" his hand moves firm on your chest with his other hand bringing up your chin to meet your lips together.

"I've seen the young pictures of you now, Ari. I'm certainly anxious to see what your sons will look like now. Let's not let the family down, yes? We need to make sure we know how best to be fruitful for when we're married. Practice makes perfect doesn't it?" you giggle as his eyes glaze over, his plush lips brushing against yours as you speak in a quiet and girlish way to him in the dark of the car.

"You don't need no practice, love. Ya already perfect innit?" he purrs, his lips gentle against your lower lip, taking his time.

"You already have me won, Ari, just take your prize." you insist with a wrinkle of your nose. A command he gladly follows, your lips finding one another's enthusiastically and for the entire duration of the ride home.

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[someflareoutwithlove]

Five years...

Trigger Warnings: Transphobia, Abuse. abandonment, homelessness, suicide

A writing about Damiens coming out experience to his family, and how it all went down. 

Damien stood in his bedroom, locks of his once long black hair laid at his feet as he chopped at it, determined to make it short. He knew it was going to look horrible, but at least he would start to look like himself. He didn’t care if it was uneven, he didn’t care if it looked like a toddler with a chainsaw went wild on it. 

Just as he put the scissors down there was a knock on his door, still covered in streamers and with balloons that bobbed half way from the ground as they slowly lost the helium that filled they four short days ago. 

“Amelia” his mothers soft voice called from the other side of the door “dear, are you alright in there? We haven’t seen you all day.” She was the kind of woman you’d see ringing the Salvation Army bell. Long dark hair, pulled into a bun at the base of her skull, and the gently eyes of a sunday school teacher. A feature that Damien always found comfort in.

“I’m okay mom” Damien called out “just- doing some reading. I’ll be out in a little bit. I- I need t-to talk to- to you all abou-about something imp-or-important.”

“Are you sure you’re okay huh” she asked “you’re stammering is getting pretty bad.”

“Y-yeah.. Like I said- I- it’s important.” 

“Did Elijah get you pregnant? You know that boy is sweet, but I don’t think he’d be fit to be a father, not this young. But I’m sure he’d be more than happy to stick by you, and be your husband.”

Damien felt his face turn a bright red. It had been nearly a year since he came out to Elijah. Two years since they broke up. “No, mom. Tha-that’s.. that’s not it. We- we uh- we decided that- that we work better as- as just friends a wh-while ago.. remember?” 

It still hurt, however. Damien still found himself having feelings for his friend. His smile, his laugh. The way his eyes lit up as he talked on and on about almost anything. The freckles that speckled across his whole body, and his soft belly that made him perfect for using as a pillow. He was Damien's best friend for many years, and someone Damien loved. 

“Okay if you’re sure hun” his mom said “I’ll see you downstairs in a bit. Annabelle is making dinner tonight, she learned a new recipe from a classmate in college. I love you baby girl.” 

Damien let out a small sigh before calling out “love you too, mom.” 

Half an hour passed, Damien still stood staring at himself in the mirror as he slowly wrapped a bandage around his chest. He knew it was bad for him- and he knew how much it could hurt him. But this was all he could do for now. It was all he had. If anyone asked him now, despite still doing it, he would tell them not to. Sure, Elijah and his sister had offered to buy him a proper one, but he refused.

He never liked people helping him like that. It made him feel guilty. Like he’d owe them something in return. Or- like he was using them, despite that being far far from the truth. 

He pulled on a light blue shirt, and the purple sweater he’d gotten for his birthday days ago. Slowly he zipped it up. There was no going back now. This is who he was. And his family had to know. 

The door opened and he stepped out into the hall, just in time to run into his mother who was coming up to check on him again. She let out a small gasp looking up at him. 

“Oh sweety, what have you done to your beautiful hair” she asked, reaching up to touch it “oh hun- I thought you were past this phase of giving yourself haircuts.”

Damien pulled back slightly “I was- was just getting t-tiered of it bein’ long mom- th- that’s all” he told her “can.. can you g- get everyone down- downst- st-airs.?”

She nodded a bit, frowning as she looked him up and down. He could tell she was scared of what he was going to say. She had every right to be. He felt his heart thumping hard in his chest as they parted ways, her going to gether the family, and him going down stairs. 

“Hey kiddo” a voice called from the kitchen “I love the new hair cut. Sort of gives off that hard-rock look.” Annabelle stood, spatula in her hand, her brown currly hair pulled back off her face. 

“Th-thanks A-Anna” Damien said softly “I- I uh-”

“I can tell you did it yourself” she interrupted “mom says you got somethin’ important to tell us. Can’t wait to hear what it is. Can I take a guess?”

He let out a small chuckle. His big sister always could make him smile, always make him feel safe. “Sure- b-bu-but you probably wo-wont be able to.” He thought he may as well humor her. Maybe, it would soften the blow of the truth.

“You’ve decided to apply to Julliard for your piano playing!” 

He shook his head “n-no-nope that’s not it.. my- my- my stage fright is- is far too- too bad for somethin’ like that.” 

Anabelle frowned a bit “oh boo” she said “you know you would own that school.” She swapped an arm around him, standing a little shorter than him, in a side hug, that he hesitantly returned. 

He walked into the kitchen with her, the smell of her dinner wafting in the air. Fish and asparagus. 

His little sister, father, and mother all came down the stairs. His father, a tall, looming figure. His eyes sunken into his face, cold and judgmental framed by thin square glasses, and bushy eyebrows. 

Damien watched as his fathers cold eyes locked onto him. “Amelia” he greeted “you cut your hair, I liked it better long. You look like a-” 

He stopped when his mother jabbed him with her elbow “I think she looks lovely” she interrupted “I liked it better longer, but I think it frames her face nicely.”  She flashes a sweet smile at him as they all took a seat on the couch. 

Damien stool still, looking at his family. He felt time slow to a stop around him. Their eyes all looking at him, patiently judging. 

“Okay-” he started “o-okay I- I- I don’t know how to- how to say this but- I- I-” Damien took in a deep breath, he could already feel his eyes growing wet. This was something he’d been going over in his head for along time. Something he’d been practicing to himself, and with Elijah. It was easy with him. He accepted Damien for who he was. He always had. 

“I- I’m not- good in this- I’m- I thi- I know- I’m transgender. I- I’ve known for years- and--” he stopped talking as his father rose from his spot on the couch. 

“No you aren’t” his father hissed “no daughter if mine is goin’ to be a tranny freak!” 

Damien closed his eyes, as tears started to stream down his face “this is who I am- wh- I- I am trans- my- I-” how could he explain it? Could he?

Before he could think, his father stormed over to him and smacked him across the face, sending him to the ground. Damien cold hear his mother gasp in shock as he looked up at his father. 

“No. No daughter of mine” he shouted “Amelia- you need to get yourself together! Either you are my daughter or you are not welcome in this house. You have five minutes to decide!” 

Slowly, Damien stood up and walked to his room. Moments later, his mother followed. “Amelia- hunny” she called after “please- don’t do this- we love you-”

Something inside Damien snapped then, and he turned to look at her, his voice rising slightly “my name is Damien mom! I’m not fuckin’ Amelia! Da-mi-en!”

“TIMES UP NOW” his father shouted, loud enough to shake Damien to his core. In seconds he storned up the his middle child and grabbed him by the wrist. “I don’t care whop the fuck you think you are. You are Amelia. And you are no longer welcome in this house, so long as you keep living as a freak.” He dragged him to the door.

“Dad- please” Damien begged.

“No- I am not your father” he hissed as he threw the door open “as far as I’m concerned, we are strangers now- understood?” With that he tossed Damien out the door. “if you come back onto my property, I will call the cops.” With that, he slammed the door, locking it. 

There Damien stood, staring at the home he’s spent 17 years in. Where he learned to walk and talk. Where his height was measured on the kitchen door frame. Now, somewhere he was never welcome again. Filled with people who he believed never wanted to see him again. 

With that, he turned around and walked away. 

--

As months past, Damien grew worse and worse. Taking to drinking, and harming himself to cope. Two habits that he now wished he never started. He spent his days wondering around the streets, doing odd jobs for people to make enough money to eat. Nothing but his sweater, and a hat a stranger gave him to keep him warm. By the end of September, he’d left Bar Harbor, and was in Portland. Running around the streets still, getting more and more things to himself. 

The first time he spoke to Elijah in months was also the last time he would for years. It was December 28th. He was drunk, and he had plans. He needed to say goodbye to someone. Someone who he knew loved him, and who he loved deeply. 

Luckly, Damien had found a payphone, and still remembered Elijah's phone number. He listened to the phone ring on the other end a few times. It was late, so he wouldn’t be surprised if his friend was still sleeping. 

Just before it went to voice mail, a sleepy voice answered “who the hell is calling at this hour” he asked.

Damiens heart skipped a beat. It was him. A voice he hadn’t heard in so long. He slowly sunk to the ground, still holding the phone to his ear. 

“Hello” Elijah asked “come on- you woke me up- say something.”

Damien sniffled a bit “it’s good to hear your voice, Eli” he said softly “fuck- I- I miss.”

“D-Damien” Elijah asked, more alert now “Damien! Where are you? I can come get you! Are you safe? Are you warm?”

“Eli-”

“Why didn’t you come here? We would have welcomed you. Please- come here Damien. You can be home with us-”

“Eli- stop. I- I can’t.. it- it hurts to- to much to be anywhere in Bar Harbor right now. I-I’m in Portland.”

“Why haven't you called?”

“I- I don’t know.. I- I wanted to.. I- I’ve been trying to- to feed myself- and- and stay war-”

“Annabelle told us everything. My- my mom- Damien my mom would have called someone for you, she could get your dad locked up for that you know that right? We could do something! It’s not fair what happened. Please come home. You can be home with me- with my family. We can be your family-”

“Elijah- shut up. Please- I just- I need- I had to” Damien let out a soft cry “I just wanted to say goodbye.”

“Goodbye...? Now? Not when-” then it clicked “oh- oh. No! NO NO! Damien- please-” Elijah was standing in his room now, getting a robe on. He had to get someone.

“Elijah- I’ve made up my mind. Pleas- don’t try to talk me out of it. You can’t- and- and it will only hurt more.” 

“Like hell I can’t! Where in Portland are you? Stay on the phone with me-” he paused to shout “VICTORIA! VICTORIA! I NEED HElP-” Damien could hear the desperation in his friends voice. He’d almost never seen, or heard Elijah cry before. This hurt. 

“Elijah I’m sorry. Please don’t worry- please don’t look. I love you, so fuckin’ much. And- I’m sorry this is the last thin you’ll hear from me. I figured after everythin’ you’ve done. Everything you helped me with. You’ve always been there, and always could make me smile. I love that about you. I love your eyes that make me feel safe, your freckles that just add to your child-like wonder. You are an amazing man. Promise me you’ll never change.” 

Elijah was silent for a while “I love you too, Damien. You’re my best friend. Please.. I can’t lose you like this.”

“I’m sorry- goodbye Elijah. I hope you have the amazing life you deserve. Even if I’m not in in.” With that, he stood up and hung up. 

Damien was found unconscious, less than an hour later by an elderly woman, who rushed the young man to the hospital. He attempted to overdose on painkillers, but luckily was taken to the ER in time to save his life. To this day, he doesn’t know the identity of the woman who saved his life. All he knows is she wanted to go by ‘Granny’ on all his reports. 

Five years down the road after that horrible night. Damien found himself getting dressed for work, in the small apartment he was renting. His hair grown out, and scars healed. He was in a much better place now. Yes, he still struggled, but he was doing better now. He had friends who he considered his family. He had a job, even if he didn’t like it much, and he had a roof over his head. 

Damien had plans for the future now too. He was going to go to college and become a social worker. He was going to help youth who were in the same position as him. He wanted to be something to help give them hope. Hope that he desperately needed all those years ago. 

He was also going to get back in touch with Elijah. Or so he planned to. One day. 

Life was better now. He knew that. And while thoughts of suicide still lingered in his mind, he was able to push them to the side, knowing how much things can change. And wanting to be around to see his own life become better. 

[salmonidparty]

All was quiet in the patient ward as night crept through the tiny window perched high on the far wall. A strange Octoling sat huddled on his bed, tentacle arms wrapped around his knees. He couldn’t help but find the normal silence disconcerting as he tried to wait patiently for a knock on the door. He watched it with extreme care, straining his short ears for some sort of cue that someone was passing by... Now and again he’d hear the heavy footsteps of a guard, getting his hopes up.

He thought back over the events of the day. It felt like a complete whirlwind, rife with startling news and plans for escape. Though he had lived his entire life in this laboratory he could hardly call it a “home,” as he was nothing more than a test subject, and a failed one at that. He had outlived his usefulness, but rather than releasing him to Octo Valley or something of the like, there was something vile stirring under the surface. 

Malintent was conspiring within the head scientist’s mind. The tests to augment DNA and advance creatures to their next stage of development wasn’t enough for her. She wanted more, she wanted to create fascinating and powerful creatures that had never been seen. And to do that, she needed all of her eggs in a basket. Security was locked down, guards now stalked the halls, and cameras were being installed everywhere, not just in testing chambers. Test subjects had gone missing, replaced with... Something new.

One scientist, a frilled jellyfish who went by the name Jellsica, knew she couldn’t stop it, but hoped she could save a few poor, unfortunate souls before they fell to the same fate. She had conspired an escape plan with a few subjects while the head scientist was out, and now the strange Octoling was waiting for his cue...

There was a gentle knock at the door, which jolted him upright. A beat later and he could hear the door unlock. Immediately to his feet he nearly flew to the door, met with a pair of weary eyes through the cracked opening. 

“Qu-quickly, now!” came the jellyfish’s voice. She spoke in a low whisper, beckoning for him to slip out the door with one arm.

He squeezed through the door, but his heart skipped a beat when he saw a few of the guards standing around a number of Salmonlings, Octarians, crustaceans and jellyfish. He started back for his room, but was quickly stopped when the door shut on his back. A gentle arm touched his.

“Don’t worry,” Jellsica whispered, “They’re patients dressed as guards. This is the easiest way to get everyone out without drawing too much attention.” she guided him to a spot between a guard and a towering Salmonling, who had a sleepy look in her eyes, “You’ll be taken into the courtyard for some enrichment.” the jellyfish winked.

The lineup started moving. As they walked the Salmonling behind him leaned over and started whispering, “Hey, y’ ready t’ get outta here?” despite her large size, she had a surprisingly calm voice.

The Octoling was too nervous to vocalize, fearing that his broken voice would be too loud. But he glanced over his shoulder and smiled with an eager nod. Now he realized that he couldn’t see the edges of this Salmonling’s mouth--it was so large, and her dusty blonde locks covered her cheeks like curtains. Even still, he could see her forming a smile.

“I admit,” she continued in a low voice, “I’m a bit nervous. Dunno who y’ can trust out there now... But it oughta beat bein’ in here. Gonna see if I can’t find my ol’ homestead ‘n make it there.”

With a furrowed brow the Octoling looked to the white halls ahead. So she wasn’t here her whole life... That must have been awful, being ripped away from friends and family. But he couldn’t fully imagine it; he didn’t have anywhere to go himself, no one to return to. He wondered... Could he tag along with her? When they stopped at the courtyard door, he quickly turned to her and pointed at his own chest, then to her’s with a hopeful look in his eye.

“Hm?” she blinked slowly, “Oh, y’all wanna come with me?” she smiled sincerely, “Sho’, I don’t see why not.”

The courtyard door was opened, and the patients spilled into the fenced enclosure. The night air was cool, and the larger ones took to stretching in the open. The disguised patients started stripping off the guard armor. They started to mill about in mild confusion, looking this way and that as they tried to figure out what exactly was going to happen next. A few started to mutter bitterly to each other, thinking that Jellsica had lead them into a trap of some kind... 

As if summoned the jellyfish quickly darted to the head of the group, her legs working overtime. Stopping at the wall where a dark brown tarp rested, she checked a small device with a glowing screen before tossing the tarp aside.

“Hurry, now!” she called. Her face screamed a level of anxiety, “Through this hole!” indeed, there was a wide hole that bore under the thick cinder block wall, “My cousin will meet you on the other side and lead you to his boat. Board it, and you’ll make it out.”

The patients complied, filing one after another to slip through the hole--the larger individuals had to squeeze through, but much to Jellsica’s relief nobody got stuck. Once everyone was through, she started filling the hole. It was safer to have to re-dig it, instead of leaving an obvious hole where the head Scientist could find it...

“Oh?” the tall Salmonling glanced back at the wall, “S’ppose Jellsica ain’t comin’. I even helped her dig that hole...”

Another frilled Jellyfish wearing a sailor’s uniform emerged from behind a rock, “She isn’t! She thought it’d be safer for her to stay behind and cover it up. She’d like to bring more patients out, you know!” he stretched an arm high into the air and waved a little pennant flag about to get everyone’s attention, “This way, now! We don’t have much time!”

He lead them some distance away, through trees and tall unkempt grass to the open water. Even as thunder rumbled in the distance the patients couldn’t help but bask in the fresh air, reaching out to touch the bark of the trees and tug on the grasses. It was difficult to hold their excitement at the prospect of freedom.

A large, sleek black boat rested at the shore--that must have been their ticket out of here. The Jellyfish used his arms to pull himself on board, lowering a rope ladder for the others to follow.

“Climb aboard! If you see someone that can’t get on, help them up!” he called down. Looking to the horizon, he sighed, “Blast... I had hoped that storm would hold of... Ink-based individuals best stay below deck if we can’t avoid that storm!” he silently wished they could wait, but there was little he could do... He had to get these patients to safety, and soon. Once the head scientist returned, a search would start, surely.

Once everyone had boarded the boat shoved off. The strange Octoling found himself sticking close to the tall Salmonling. She didn’t seem to mind very much, even when he wrapped a tentacle around her webbed hand. The boat was hardly quiet, as the others were discussing what they’d do once they got to safety. But there was little talking between the Ocotling and Salmonling. They seemed to just enjoy the company of another person.

The rumble of thunder grew in volume, and a light rain started to fall over the passengers. 

“Brace yourselves,” the Jellyfish called, “We should be able to avoid the worst of it, but please be careful and head below deck!”

Upon the call, a number of Octarians went below deck. The strange Octoling stuck beside his new friend’s side, however. He didn’t really know much better. He huddled closer to her when the winds started to pick up, and yelped when rain started hitting his face. It didn’t hurt, but it sure felt weird!

“Maybe y’ should head downstairs,” the Salmonling spoke up, “Y’all ain’t so good at dealin’ with water, y’know.” she looked down to him with a smile, giving him a gentle nudge towards the stairs. When the Octoling shook his head briskly, she gave a simple shrug, “Alrighty then, just stay next t’ me. I’ll protect y’ from th’ rain.”

He found security huddled beside her, even as the roar of thunder grew louder and louder with each flash. The wind whipped around them, and the boat started to rock at a far more violent rate. The sea was always changing, and never forgiving--even to those familiar with it. The storm had arrived quicker than anticipated. Concern growing, the Salmonling started to push the Octoling away.

“Y’ should really head below. I’ll go too, alrigh’?” she suggested. The rain became a downpour, and water was starting to puddle on the deck. The wind was now pushing the smaller passengers about, their feet slipping on the slick metal floor.

“The storm came to us!” the jellyfish’s voice came through a speaker, “Get below deck, now! I’ll try to steer us out of this safely!”

The boat lurched as a massive wave passed by and there was a cry for help. Suddenly the Octoling was all on his own, exposed completely to the elements. Ink started to drip from his tentacles, but he ignored that as he searched for his friend--she was leaning over the side of the boat, as if holding onto something or someone that had fallen over the edge. He called out to her, bit his broken voice could barely be heard over the rain and roaring sea. 

“She’s helping someone who fell!” a voice suddenly called. A claw carefully hooked one of his arms, “Come on, you’ll melt at this rate!” before he knew it he was surrounded by dozens of bodies trying to seek shelter below.

“Hold tight, I gotcha!!” he could hear his friend’s voice call.

As he was pushed below deck, he watched in horror as his friend tried to pull the other person back on board. Half her body was over the edge now, her tail sticking in the air as her webbed feet had a difficult time finding traction on the soaked deck. He pushed against the others, wanting to help her, but he was too small to make it through. The boat lurched again, and he felt the weight of a number of bodies press against him. There was a shout from above, barely heard above the drumming of the rain...

When he finally could see the deck again, his friend was gone. 

-----

The strange Octoling felt so alone. He rubbed at his face, feeling pressure behind his eyes. Even as other passengers tried to console him, nothing seemed to register--he had gotten so attached to that nice fish, and now she was gone before she could even get home! What if something were to happen to a new friend he made here? 

He kept to himself for the rest of the voyage. When the boat seemed to stop move, the Jellyfish came below deck to tell everyone that they had made it to land. He folded his arms together in a regretful way, bowing his head low as he apologized deeply for pushing them through the storm, and that two passengers had fallen overboard.

The words of the jellyfish gave him little ease on the mind. He had hoped that maybe, somehow, his friend and the person she had tried to save were okay. That the captain had found them and pulled them back on board... But no such luck. He stood in the same spot, staring blankly at the floor. Where was he to go now...? Could he go out and find her himself? He didn’t know how to sail a boat, and his time in the rain showed him that he was hardly fit to deal with the opn water.

There was a gentle push at his side. The jellyfish captain glanced up to him with a worried look in his eye, “I’m sorry, little one.” the Octoling rose an eyebrow--he was taller than the jellyfish was... “It’s going to be ok, I promise. Salmonids are strong, the two could be fine.” the Octoling didn’t respond, “Maybe the other Octarians can help you out for now. There are plenty, and I’m sure you’ll fit in fine, there!”

The strange Octoling blinked silently, but eventually made his way for the stairs. He shielded his eyes from the bright sun, blinking furiously. So bright, after such a dark storm...! If the storm could clear up, maybe there was hope that the tall Salmonling was still out there... He wondered, should he stay with the Salmonlings, or go with the Octarians? 

His question was quickly answered when an Octoling that had been put through similar tests came over. They smiled at him brightly, welcoming him along. He’d stay with them for a time, yes… But then he would go looking for his Salmonid friend when he was older and stronger.  

[eliniei]

Those Hard Days - Chapter 23

Summary: Rae’s brother always made sure she was tough as nails. But when her father flips her world upside down, will she find that there’s a limit on how strong she can be?

Warnings: Rape/Non-con (non-graphic, fade-to-black), child abuse, underage drinking, underage smoking, drug use, violence, major character death

A/N: Okay, this chapter took me SO LONG. I had no idea what to do with it until one morning at like 2am when the cat woke me up I was like. .....IDEA

AO3: here Fanfiction.net: here

Masterlist

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Chapter 23 - Relief

"You know each other?" Steven asked as her boyfriend made her way over to them.

"Sure do," Rae answered, holding back a sigh of relief at finally seeing his dumb face again. “This is Curly Shepard.”

“Oh, Shepard, huh?” Steven said, recognition filling his voice. “Ain’t been in town long but I’ve already heard the name. Gotta be pretty tough to kick my brother’s ass.”

"Haven’t seen ya in a bit," Rae said before he had a chance to respond, and started pulling at the thin hair ties around her wrist, looking down at her shoes. "Where ya been?" She stopped herself when she caught it and slid her hands into the back pockets on her jeans. 

"Oh-y’know, helpin’ Tim keep the gang in line and-,” Curly started, but paused, looking at the other two. “Could we, uh, talk outside or somethin’?” He reached back and rubbed the back of his neck. A nervous tendency she’d picked up on years before. She nodded.

“We’ll be back,” she said to Carrie, who gave her an encouraging smile and nodded. He led her outside, away from the haze and the music, and they both sat down on the porch steps.

"So...I..." Curly looked up at her face and squinted. He reached to put his hand on her cheek, rubbing his thumb over the healing bruise on the bone. “What’s this?”

“Dad,” Rae responded and looked down at her lap. “He followed me home one day- came back later with a shotgun and a bunch of heroin in his veins wantin’ my brains to decorate the Curtis’s livin’ room wall. It’s been… an eventful week.”

“Shit,” he whispered, eyes full of worry. Just like the last time she’d seen him. She clenched her fists in her lap. “I hope you ain’t stayin’ there anymore.”

“No, I’ve been movin’ around a bit- stayin’ at Carrie’s this weekend.” He nodded and she looked down at her lap. "Are-are you mad at me?" Confusion spread across his features. “That night-” Finally, he seemed to recall the fight they’d had- and her saying no to him.

“Of course not,” he interrupted, quickly. “I was bein’ real- the boys are gettin’ a little unruly. And I thought...maybe you’d want some time...” He grabbed her hands, tightening his fingers around hers. “I didn’t mean…”

“It’s fine,” she said, unable to hold her sigh of relief back any longer. She lowered her voice to a mumble, red spreading across her cheeks. “I just missed ya is all.” Curly lifted a hand from hers and dramatically placing it around his ear. 

“What was that? I’m hard of hearin’, you see and-.” She feigned anger and shoved him. It was hard enough he almost fell off the steps and into the garden.

“I missed ya, you stupid hood.” He laughed, his nervous expression replaced with that stupid cocky smile of his. In that moment, Rae wanted to slap that smug grin of his idiotic fucking face. He leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers. She smiled and huffed a laugh through her nose. As he pulled away, his eyes travelled to her ear. He tilted his head and moved her hair over her shoulder.

“Pierce your ears?”

“Chrissy did it.” He smiled. “Do ya like it?”

“I think it’s beautiful.” He kissed her again, slowly. 

"Anyway," he began again, after they’d separated. “Angel’s back in rehab.” She nodded, slowly. “I told Tim what happened. He said Dally’d bust his balls if we knew and we didn’t do anythin’ about it. Just thought you’d like to know.”

"Thank you, Curly," she said with a small smile. “I know it wasn’t easy.”

“It ain’t nothin’. You were right, anyways. Let’s just hope this time she’ll stay clean for more than two weeks.” The door behind them opened and Eric appeared holding two plastic cups.

"Looks like you guys could use these," he laughed. “Your conversation is far too serious for this party.” Rae eyed the drinks suspiciously. "It's just beer, kid." He sat down, uninvited, in a porch chair that was sitting near them. "So, this is her? The girl you were talkin’ about?" Curly went rigid and maybe a little bit red, but it was hard to tell outside in the dark. She stifled a giggle at his embarrassment. 

"Yeah, Rae Winston," he replied.

"Winston? You ain’t related to Dallas, are ya?"

.

"Well, yeah, that’s my brother." She knocked back a bit of her beer. “How d’you know him?”

"Old buddies," he responded. “Went to grade school together when ya’ll moved here.”

"But- Carrie said you were new here?”

"Oh, just Steven. Mom and Dad were separated for a while. Now they’re back together so Mom moved herself and Steven here with us. Long story." She nodded her understanding. He stood up to head back inside. He swatted her gently on the shoulder. “Hey, tell Dally ‘hey’ for me, yeah?”

“Sure.”

“Thanks, kid.” He stood back up, breathing in the chilly night air and shouldered his way back inside.

“You ready to go back in?”” she asked as she turned back to Curly. He’d gotten over his embarrassment and that crooked smile was back.

“May as well,” he responded and helped her up. He curled his arm around her waist and led her through the crowd of people, looking for her friend. Finally, Rae found Carrie’s blonde curls among the masses as she was tipping back the last dregs of a beer. 

“Rae!” she exclaimed, a bright smile on her face. Rae grinned, amused. 

“Had a few, then?”

“It’s a party, ain’t it?” She set her cup down on the edge of the dining room table, but it tumbled to the ground. Carrie burst out laughing as she squatted down to pick it up, but she lost her balance and dropped to her knees. Rae watched, lifting an eyebrow. 

“Uh, how many?”

“Only three or four, I think.”

“Take any shots?” Carrie giggled again, and he took that as a yes.

“Two-Bit dared me!”

“Oh, yeah, like that makes it any better,” she noted and reached out to lift her friend up by the arm. Curly bent down to grab the other arm. “Come on, up we go. You’ll get trampled if you stay down on the floor.”

“I told him you were here. He went off lookin’ for ya,” Carrie nearly yelled once she was on her own two feet again. The girl looked over Rae’s shoulder at the same time as she felt a tap.  

“There ya’ll are!” Two-Bit’s drunk voice exclaimed. “Finally decide to loosen up a bit?” She turned and saw her rusty-headed friend standing there, beer cup in hand, goofy smile plastered to his face. She gave him a lopsided grin and crossed her arms.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Oh, ya know, kid,” he started, but paused to chug down the rest of his drink. “It’s okay to have some fun once in a while, yeah? Curly, what the hell are ya doin’, man? Take the girl to dance or somethin’.”

“What, are ya, my dad, now?” he said with a shake of his head, but took Rae’s hand and spun her around. In the background, Carrie giggled yet again, and watched as Curly led her out into the crowd of people dancing around the living room floor as the quick beat of I Want To Hold Your Hand started playing on the record player. The Beatles would have to do.

“What about Carrie? She’ll be drunk off her ass soon,” she asked over her shoulder.

“She’s alright. I’ll keep an eye on her,” Two-Bit assured her, and laid his arm loosely across Carrie’s shoulders. 

“You’re the one who got her drunk in the first place!”

“Fine, fine. I promise I won’t dare her to take anymore shots!” He lifted two fingers to his forehead in a mock salute. “Scout’s honor.”

Finally, Rae relented after giving her friend a look and turned back to her boyfriend.

A while later, they both laid on a blanket in the front yard while the party wound down. A second blanket was wrapped around their bodies to ward off the chill. Curly had pulled them out of a hallway closet and they both came outside to avoid the noise. Their empty cups sat beside them, tipped over in the grass. Curly had Rae tucked under his arm, and her head rested on his chest as they stared up at the clear night sky, watching the stars. Every once in a while she’d raise her hand to point out a constellation.

“And you see those four stars in a line right there?” she asked him, drawing her arm down, following the pattern. 

“Yeah,” he said, softly. 

“That’s Cygnus,” she started, and lifted her other arm. “The swan. It branches out like this-” She used her index fingers to show him the lines. “-to make it look like wings. It always looked like a pterodactyl to me, though.” She could feel his chest rise in a quiet laugh.

“I think you’re a swan,” he said, his voice drowsy. Rae sat up on her elbow, looking down at him.

“No way,” she retorted, a smile forming on her face. Her hair spilled over one shoulder and dropped down around his face.

“Yes way,” Curly shot back, raising his hand to tuck a lock of her dark hair behind her ear. “Beautiful.” He lifted his head to kiss her nose. “And graceful.”

“Graceful? Are you h-” Before she could finish, he caught her lips with his, cutting off her question. He kissed her slowly, gently rubbing his thumb over her bruised cheekbone. She leaned down farther to deepen the kiss and inhaled his scent. Cologne and cigarettes mixed in with a little beer. It was more intoxicating to her than the alcohol. She ran the fingers of her free hand through his greasy hair, nails lightly scraping his scalp. A small moan escaped his mouth. 

When their lips parted, they laid on their sides, Rae’s head on his outstretched arm. She stared into his eyes and he pressed his forehead against hers. 

“Would it be so bad if I wanted to marry you one day?” Curly asked, closing his eyes, his sleepy words slightly slurred. She wrapped the blanket tightly around her shoulders. 

“I think I’d like that,” she responded, curling into him. Soon, his breathing evened out. She allowed herself to relax in the warmth of his body and floated into the easy darkness of sleep.

When Rae opened her eyes again, a foggy morning had started to rise. It seemed as though everything had taken on a blue tint, even the air. She sat up from their makeshift bed in the middle of the small front yard, Curly’s limp arm sliding down her waist, and peered around the lawn. They weren’t the only ones who’d passed out outside.

“Mm.” She turned to look back at him. “Is it morning yet?” 

“Yeah,” she said, shifting so she was facing him again. “I should probably grab Carrie and head back to her house before Dally’s sixth sense picks up that I ain’t there.” He nodded.

“Yeah, Tim’ll prob’ly be wonderin’ where I ran off to. Better be in my bed when he wakes up.” He sat up. She leaned in to kiss him, inhaling him once more for good measure, savoring his smell.

“Okay,” she said. “I’ll see you later.” Then, she stood and made her way inside to find her friend.

[jawllines]

i’m sorry but can we PLEASE elaborate on this safe word thing bc it hits me right in the heart

OKAY SO LETS SAY you were being a proper brat all day. You’d had a rough morning and had wanted to stay home really, but when you’d seen how excited Harry was to spend the day together you didn’t have it in your heart to tell him. This led to you trying to rush him in stores, getting grumbly when you go to a restaurant harry picks (because its his turn to choose) because you don’t really like anything on the menu and when, after you’d been just dreadful to spend time with, he says no to your request for frozen yogurt. You could tell he was getting mad and was a lot less Harry and entering his dom space rapidly in response to your attitude. This proven when, as soon as the door shuts behind him, he mutters, “Didn’ know I had such a brat on my hands today,” he moves to press you against the wall, “Tried to buy you pretty things and get you fed, but you were just mean, Pet. Just a mean fucking brat who deserves every lil’ bit of the punishment she gets, innit that right?”

Then, murmuring low as he takes you by the chin and makes you look into his eyes, “I said, isn’t that right?”

Your tummy tingles, burning low as you nod, letting him take you to the bedroom and bend you over his knee, after giving you the option of either his hand or his belt. When you chose his hand, thinking it’d be easier on your bum, but he decides to keep his rings on (which you had discussed before but you hadn’t known would happen). Even ties your hands behind your back so you can’t hold onto him like you like to.

“Twenty-five. Count each aloud, n’if you miss one then we’ll start over.”

And usually, you can handle it. You can handle each stingy slap, and Harry being a little mean. Can handle him calling you a brat, and being grumpy with you because most the time you’re doing it on purpose to get a rise out of him. But now you’re not doing it on purpose, you was legitimately just having a shit day and accidentally took out some of it on him, which had furthered your guilt. That hadn’t been fair. . .he was trying to be nice and she was a complete dick the whole day. Normally getting swatted is fun, exhilarating, and the burning makes you giddy for what’s to come.

But now each slap brings you to tears and you’re feeling small, soft and upset and not with it anymore. The first initial tingle had been of excitement but had faltered and you just needed Harry to be gentle with you.

So you say it, quick and easy, through a broken little sob, “Pear!”

Harry stops immediately, bringing you up from where you’d been on his lap, “Oh Doll,” his face drops when he sees your own, sniffling self, cheeks wet with tears that make his entire heart shatter as he immediately reaches back to untie your wrists.

“I’m sorry,” you whimper pitifully, hiding your face into his neck, “M’sorry, m’sorry, I couldn’t -- I was so mean I’m sorry, I had a bad day and --”

“Shh, shh, shh, s’okay baby, s’okay,” he holds you close, as guilt welts up deeply inside of him -- had he been to mean?  You two had done this before and it had always gotten you riled up and gotten you off quickly (if he allowed it) but never had you reacted like this. His heart ached as you sniffled and coughed against his throat, trying to catch your breath, “It’s okay, everything’s fine. Was too rough on you, soft lil’ thing, should’ve known you weren’t in the mood for a day out.”

Once you’ve calmed down some, you draw away to face him, and he presses little kisses at your damp cheeks, the tip of your nose, and one little one directly on your flushed, pouted mouth, “C’mon, lemme run you a bath.” You nod, letting him tighten your legs around his waist, “G’na carry you.”

Harry makes the water warm and fills it to the brim with bubbles, and settles you in before climbing in himself. Coaxes and soothes you back to the present, running a cloth over your skin, pressing kisses to your temples, making you giggle and titter with stupid little stories about his day while encouraging you to unload about your own day, especially what had made you so upset. And when you get out, he towels you off first, wraps it around you tight and goes to pick out something for you to wear from his wardrobe. Reappears in the bathroom with a worn, too big t-shirt and a pair of panties for you to slip on. Leads you to the bed where he drags you into his body, still petting at your hair, rubbing at your back, asking if you wanted anything for take out because, “Ya didn’t eat much at dinner, Baby, don’t want you hungry.” But you were too worn out too do anything, sleepiness wearing you down from the day you had endured.

“I’m still sorry,” you mumble, as he holds you close but far enough that you can look at him, carefully running the tips of his fingers up and down your arm, “For bein’ mean. Love you too much to be mean to you.”

Harry hums, peeking his eye open, “Shush,” he tells you, “Weren’t being mean on purpose, yeah? Shoddy day, n’ I dragged you out.” He leans in again, giving you a sweet little eskimo kiss, before actually pecking his lips against yours, “I love you, Petal. We’ll try for a proper day t’morrow, kay?”

You nod, letting your eyes flutter closed and shuffling nearer to him.

[sgtcalhouns]

Surprise, pt. 2

hello hello hello! remember this sad thing I posted a few weeks ago? well here’s part two! (although this is technically a prequel). this one is even sadder than the first installment, sorry guys

Felix shifted in bed, rolling onto his side and cracking his eyes open. His lips stretched into a sleepy smile as he looked at the woman sleeping on the other side of the bed and the diamond ring that newly adorned her finger. Unable to stop himself, he reached out for her hand, his thumb gently fidgeting with the ring and his chest filling warmth as he recalled the previous night when he had asked her to marry him. The moment played over and over again in his mind, each time adding a new layer of honeyglow to his cheeks. 

Gazing at this beautiful woman who had somehow appeared in his life and, even more amazingly, agreed to spend her life with him, Felix pondered how it was even possible to be this happy. No matter what happened, he was certain that nothing could erase the happiness he felt right now. Leaning in closer, Felix brought her hand to his lips, kissing her knuckles and then her ring finger. She stirred and Felix cursed himself for waking her.

“G’morning,” she mumbled sleepily. Noting the redness in his cheeks, she chuckled. “What’s got you blushing this early?”

“Oh, I was just thinkin’ about last night,” he sighed, a dreamy expression overtaking his features. He laced their fingers together. “How much I love you n’ how I get to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Tamora smiled, giving his hand a squeeze. Normally, she would roll her eyes at a comment like that, but she refused to deny herself the happiness she felt in that moment. She leaned in closer for a sweet kiss that had him blushing even more deeply than before. 

“I love you, too,” she said when they pulled away. 

“I still can’t believe it,” he said.

“Believe what?” she asked amusedly. She had a feeling he was about to give an overly sentimental response.

“That you said yes,” he said, a dopey grin on his face. “That I get to wake up with you like this every morning. It all feels like a dream.”

“Want me to pinch you?” she teased.

“No,” he answered. “If it really is a dream, then I never wanna wake up.”

“How is it possible for one person to be so cute?” she groaned, placing her hand on his cheek.

“Well, I’ve always been a bit of a hopeless romantic, but you sure know how to bring it out in me,” he said. “D’you think I should tone it down?”

“Never,” she smiled, pulling him in for another kiss, this one more slow and languid than the last. It felt as though the kiss could have stretched on forever until Tamora’s stomach growled, interrupting the moment. 

“Someone’s hungry,” Felix chuckled.

“To be fair, I never finished my dinner last night,” she smirked. “We got a little preoccupied after you proposed.”

Felix’s cheeks darkened at the memory.

“Well, since I caused the problem, I suppose I can fix it,” he teased. “How about I whip us up some breakfast?”

Tamora nodded in response. Felix gave her a quick peck on the lips before moving to get out of bed.

“Would you mind runnin’ down to the mailbox while I make breakfast?” he asked. “I usually check it on Fridays, but I was so busy trying to calm my nerves all day that I didn’t make it there yesterday.”

“Well, I suppose since I caused that problem, I can fix it,” she replied, sitting up.

They both dressed quickly and got to their tasks. By the time Tamora returned from the lobby, Felix was nearly finished cooking. Taking a seat on the couch, she opened an envelope addressed to her. Scanning the content of the letter, she froze, panic and dread flooding her system.

“Anything good in the mail?” Felix asked, oblivious to the scene unfolding behind him on the couch. “The bacon’s not quite ready yet, but the french toast is fresh for the taking.”

His words sounded far away to Tamora as she read and re-read the letter, hoping to find some small detail that changed its meaning. Glancing over his shoulder, Felix continued.

“I wasn’t sure how hungry you were so I also made an omelet,” he explained. “Thought you could use a little extra protein to start your... Tamora, are you alright?”

He quickly turned the stove off and left the kitchen, concern etched onto his features as he finally noticed his fiancee’s state of distress. Sitting beside her on the couch, he tried to get a read on her emotions. She was clearly upset, but she didn’t appear to be lost in the painful memories of her past like she usually was during an anxiety attack. He placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, bringing her out of her fog.

“Tammy, what’s going on?”

“This was in the mail,” she answered quietly, passing the letter to Felix.

His heart dropped, his world crashing down around him as he began to understand her unhappiness. He couldn’t even bring himself to read the entire thing, the bolded header being more than enough to tear his heart in two: ORDER OF DEPLOYMENT.

“When do you have to leave?” he asked, his voice barely a whisper.

“Two weeks,” she replied.

Felix choked back a sob, trying to stay composed. As hard as this was for him, he knew it was even harder for Tamora.

“For how long?” he asked, unable to stop the tears from pricking at the corners of his eyes.

“Eight months, at least,” she said, looking down at the floor instead of Felix. She couldn’t bear to see him like this, knowing she had caused this misery.

“But we’re supposed to get married,” he whimpered. “We’re supposed to spend the next eight months choosing flowers and venues and bickering over the guest list. We’re not supposed to be apart from each other, we’re...”

Tamora placed a hand on his cheek, drawing his eyes up toward hers. Her somber expression and the tears that welled up in her eyes finally broke him. He began to cry, placing his hand over hers, her engagement ring brushing against his palm.

“We’re supposed to be together,” he finished, his voice thick. 

“I know,” she said softly, trying to hold her own tears at bay. “Felix, I can’t do this to you.”

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“I can’t leave you here like this waiting for me to come back. It’s not fair to you,” she answered, removing her hand from his cheek and beginning to remove the ring from her finger. “That’s why I’m giving this back to you.”

“No,” Felix interjected, taking her hands in his and gently prying them away from one another, stopping her from finishing her task. “You can’t do this, I won’t let you.”

“Felix, I know what it feels like to miss someone, I can’t put you through that,” she explained, her voice strained. It clearly pained her to do this, but she felt certain that it had to be done. “What if something happens to me and I don’t make--”

“Don’t,” Felix interrupted somewhat harshly. “Don’t finish that sentence. I can’t hear you say it, I can’t even think about...”

He trailed off, overcome with emotion at the thought of any harm coming to her. The thought that she could get hurt on the other side of the world and he could do nothing to protect her was unbearable. Taking a moment to compose himself, Felix continued.

“I know you’re tryin’ to protect me, but what you don’t realize is that I’ll be here waiting for you no matter what you do right now,” he said. “If you give this ring back to me today, I’ll still be here waiting to give it back to you the minute you come home.”

“I don’t think you realize what you’re getting yourself into,” she tried to explain.

“Tammy, last night I told you I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. There’s no way I’m givin’ up on that so quickly,” he said solemnly. “Bein’ away from you for so long is gonna be one of the hardest things I’ll ever have to do, but I know it’ll be worth it. You are worth it.”

Tamora begrudgingly nodded, giving up the fight. As much as she wanted to protect him, his determination to be with her made her fall even more deeply in love with him. 

“It’s only eight months,” Felix said, though it sounded more like he was trying to convince himself rather than Tamora. “And then you’re coming home and we’re getting married. Promise?”

“Promise,” Tamora replied, pulling him into her embrace, knowing there was no way for her to guarantee that she could keep her promise.

Looking down at the man in her arms, she resolved to do whatever it took to survive the next eight months. She couldn’t let Felix down.

She was coming home to him, no matter what.