#i just. can't. i hate it. i hate it so much. because now i feel bad and i have So Many Messages and it's so much work talking to people

[enhani-ki]

my biggest opp - reader x ni-ki part ii

warnings: smut, power play, cursing, etc.

read part one

you assumed that after having sex with ni-ki, your biggest opp, it would be awkward and uncomfortable…

but never this empty.

you arrive at your office monday morning to find your inbox startlingly free of his scathing one-liners. there's no "nice dress. shame about the brain." no "can you actually type without making typos?"

his favorite mockery is gone, somehow leaving you strangely bereft.

you tapped your pen against the wooden surface of your desk, scanning for any hint of his sabotages. the folder you thought you'd need for the managerial position, his file on your "possible fraudulent activities" are also nowhere to be found.

because according to him, you fucked him so good that he destroyed every single thing he had that could ruin you.

relief flares that he stopped, of course. but unlike him, you still do your best to make his life miserable, leaving yourself doused in guilt — feeling like an asshole.

an entire weekend passed. you swore you weren't dying for his banter, and yet whenever your phone buzzes, you leap out of your skin.

nishimura riki: stop messing with my report. are you fucking insane?

minutes passed.

nishimura riki: you must be missing me.

your lips twitched into a smirk. hell if you know how to respond.

i didn't do it, dumbass.

really? that's the reply? he'd know you were lying (or worse, honest). the cursor kept blinking in your reply box, taunting you. you typed, erase, typed again, erase — you racked your brain, thinking of a good comeback.

you: you're so stupid. also, my life has been so peaceful without you. please stay right where you are.

nishimura riki: i can come by your house and make your life hell again. if you want.

of course you want it. you'd kill him… or you'd kill for him to come over right now but shit, even the line between those urges were already starting to blur.

you spent your lunchtime writing a status report. your fingers snapping across the keys but your mind drifts to that shameless first night with him.

the night where you wrestled with him for that fraud file of yours. the heat of his breath when you kissed him, when it finally landed on your skin…

you remember all of it. every time you lean over to pull a document from the printer, you imagine the wide arc of ni-ki's arms behind you, the precise angle of his jaw, his thick lips devouring you while telling you how much he hated you for existing…

it's all fucking there.

and as if reading your thoughts, your phone lit up again.

nishimura riki: i want to see what i'm missing.

you: fuck you. you literally work five feet from me.

nishimura riki: and new skirt? goddamn

your stomach clenched. so he… noticed? he noticed your above the knee with the slit at the side that shows just enough thigh to be questionable but still professional according to the office dress code new skirt?

you: your point?

nishimura riki: you look good and i want to see it up close.

a shiver runs down your spine. ni-ki's words became so direct, so suggestive, you can't help but to swallow hard and bite your lip. you sighed, immediately closing the report window before anyone could see you blush.

you check your company messenger during break. you noticed nishimura riki's presence: his avatar pops into view with the status "ready to crush it."

how fucking pretentious.

you just hoped ni-ki would do something back so you could stop feeling guilty whenever you sabotage him, then it would all go back to hell. the hell you not-so-secretly love. the hell he seemed to have loved before — and now forgotten.

@you @ni-ki i expect great results from the two of you. focus on the work, not drama.

you sat on your couch, sipping a cup of lukewarm green tea when your phone buzzes.

nishimura riki: we're stuck together for the next couple days.

you smirked when you realized how he can't stop texting you. you plop your head back against the cushion, totally interested.

you: yeah. happy?

nishimura riki: ecstatic.

ni-ki signs off with a kiss emoji, making you scowl in disgust and throw your phone onto the cushion. he'll see how you haven't responded and he'll definitely laugh about it tomorrow.

you came into the office projecting confidence the next morning. ni-ki is already there, beating you in punctuality. he's leaning back in his chair, scrolling through his phone but smiled immediately when your eyes met.

"you're late," he drawls.

"shut up," you fired back, tossing your bag under the table. you saw another folder you've been dreading. ni-ki's opened it already— hands off, though.

"fuck... i couldn't sleep," he said, casually looking at your eyes.

who asked? is what you would've said but instead, it's: "why's that?" you leaned in, "last i heard, sleeping without protection was your specialty."

he nodded slowly. his urge of choking you to death using his necktie suddenly crossed his mind, like it always does whenever you talk back.

he never followed through, of course. because every time he pictures it, the ending is him fucking you instead. he saw you submitting not because of trust, but because you can't help it.

ni-ki sighed and quickly pulls your chair close to him, making your pulse quicken. "hmm, what do you mean 'heard'? we both know you know that for a fact," he teased, his hand trailing up to squeeze your thigh. "also, did i ever told you how bad you needed practice?"

heat blooms across your cheeks. didn't he say you fucked him good? this fucking guy keeps challenging you — mentally and sexually.

you scoffed and opened your mouth to retort but your boss already knocked on the door, barging in to start the meeting.

the day isn't even done, yet you and ni-ki have exchanged more messages than you have with anyone else all week:

nishimura riki: did you catch the way that idiot glanced at your legs during the meeting? that mf is gonna keel over later once you unplug your laptop.

that 'idiot' is notoriously stiff when it comes to 'office decorum.' the thought of him being flustered at your skirt is thrilling, but:

you: you know i'd rather see how you react when i ask you to take off my skirt.

nishimura riki: come to my office then, i'll show you.

you stood up as soon as everyone's too busy to notice your absence. you opened ni-ki's door without so much as a knock. the tall guy is leaning against the edge of his desk, shirt already untucked, tie loose — completely losing his patience.

you walk towards him. he traces a finger along your jaw, tilting your face up, brushing his thumb over your sexy lips.

"show me," you whispered, sliding both hands flat against his chest.

ni-ki leaned in. "hmm, watch me," he replied, turning you gently by the hips, pulling your ass against his crotch — where you can feel the rigid outline of his cock through his trousers. you pressed yourself back, grinding on him as his hand tightens on your hip.

"we have a meeting at six, right?" he murmurs in your ear. "let's get you naked under this skirt."

"i already am…"

unbelievable.

"you really are a fucking tease, huh?"

your breath hitched when you feel his tip nudging against your folds. ni-ki slowly slid inside your welcoming heat — his cock was so big and hard, making your knees buckle as you can practically feel him rearranging your guts without even moving.

ni-ki moaned, "oh, y/n—" biting his lower lip before pressing one more searing kiss to your neck. "i could stay like this all day," he said.

you let out a shaky gasp, head dropping forward with a whimper. your fingers reached back, grabbing his hands — his big, warm hands that are locked around your hips. "ni-ki…"

"let's not sin so much today," he groaned softly, hips giving one teasing rock that makes your whole body jolt before he pulls his cock out. he stepped back and adjusted your skirt like a gentleman — making you feel full and hollow in the same instant.

that same afternoon, you decided to head to the break room for water. you stop short when you saw ni-ki with the boss' niece, who came to visit the office.

she's laughing, batting her eyelashes at him while grinning so hard. you didn't mean to eavesdrop, but she mentioned something about wanting him to show her around — and that guy just casually folds his arm around her shoulders.

"look at you, you social climber," you interrupted, clapping your hands slowly, it echoed like a gunshot.

ni-ki glances at you lazily over the girl's shoulder. the niece looks startled, she gave you both a sheepish laugh before excusing herself.

"how long have you two been planning world domination?"

"are you jealous?" he asked, chuckling as he drags out a chair for himself. "'cause i'm telling you that's pathetic."

"wha—?"

"don't worry, y/n. it's just been few days, i'll make sure to find some time for my favorite brat."

you scoffed, grabbing your water a little too aggressive. "wow... you sound so proud of being passed around like a party favor."

"passed around?" he repeated, raising a brow. "jealousy already doesn't suit you and now you're possessive too?"

you shot him a sharp glare but he just leans back in his chair, spreading his legs like he's offering you a seat.

ni-ki sighed, "fine, i'll come over tonight," he declared so casually, it made your jaw drop.

"excuse me?"

"you heard me." he stretched and yawned. "you don't have to agree. i've already made up my mind."

"you're crazy."

he stands up, brushing past you as he grabs a protein bar "leave the door unlocked for me, okay?" he whispered, leaning in to give your cheek a quick kiss.

the sound of your skins slapping were obscene. ni-ki's breaths were heavy, his muscles tensed doing his best holding back from losing control. his necklace kept bouncing against his chest every time he slid in and out of your wet cunt. he hit it deep and slow, making your toes curl.

you looked down and watched at where your bodies met.

"oh, my–" he groaned when he felt your walls flutter around his cock. "this feels so fucking insane right now."

your arms tightened around his shoulders. "you haven't fucked me in days," you breathed out, looking up at him, admitting, "i was so stressed out."

"yeah, i know," he replied, "and look how mean you've gotten."

"kiss me..." you asked shyly — too quiet for ni-ki who was busy thrusting, far gone in the rhythm he was chasing to even hear it.

frustrated, you reached up and grabbed his hair — hard. your fingers got tangled so deep in the roots of his bleached strands, yanking him down without warning so you could force his mouth closer.

"ah—f-fuck—!" ni-ki hissed, jolting from the sharp tug. his hips slowed down for a second.

his palm slapped your arm away, the sound echoed a little loud in the room. it wasn't as harsh as what you did, but it was firm because he was hurt. a very clear response to pain.

your eyes slightly widened when he snatched your wrist, flipping you like you're a dead weight. one second you were just looking up at him — now, your face was pressed into the pillow, ass up. ni-ki's hand stayed flat on your lower back, keeping you in place.

his fingers dove straight into your hair, fisting it tight, pulling your head up until your back arched and your spine hit his chest. it forced a cry out of your throat, you quickly hold on to the headboard for your own control.

"it hurts, right?" he muttered, brows furrowed. his voice sounded pissed. "you dumbass."

your mouth parted to argue but you were too breathless and stunned at how fast he turned the tables on you.

ni-ki let go of your hair roughly. your cheek sank back into the pillow. his hands slid down to your hips, spreading you wider. it was careless and he moved confident as he positioned you just how he wanted.

your moans started crumbling into soft sobs — not from pain but from realizing how you weren't too used to getting caught off guard, let alone losing control.

your thighs started shaking, your breath had gone shallow, and ni-ki noticed it right away.

"shit—" he cursed under his breath, the movement of his hips started faltering before slowly pulling out from your pussy. he leaned down to kiss the back of your neck gently. "can you sit up?"

you nodded weakly. he helped you, pulling you gently onto his lap, seating you over one of his thighs while holding you carefully. "did i scare you?" he asked, worried and cautious.

"no...not at all." you replied, shaking your head in assurance.

ni-ki sighed, wrapping his arms around your shoulders. he place a long kiss your temple, "i'm sorry, y/n." he continued, "do you want to stop?"

you sniffled and pulled back to look him in the eye like you're a little offended, "hell no."

a small grin broke across his face. he's amused, relieved, but mostly turned on all over again. ni-ki buried his face into your neck, laughing softly. "good," he murmured, lips dragging across your skin.

"ride me."

each movement felt better than the last. his cock dragged against the deepest part of you, his blunt tip kept hitting your cervix, making you gasp in pleasure.

ni-ki sat back against your headboard, his thighs spread wide, letting you straddle him fully. his hands never stopped moving – gripping your waist or holding your nape, the other catching the bounce of your breast. his thumb grazes over your nipple, and sometimes, he'd lean in to suck it, groaning at the way your pussy clenched in response.

his hair was messy. he was so loud – groaning through his gritted teeth – that goddamn chrome necklace catching the low light as he tip back his head to moan.

you can't stop staring. you can't stop running your fingers through his hair, brushing the strands back, or cupping his jaw just to see his face better.

"ni-ki..." you whispered.

his eyes blinked open, resting his forehead against yours.

you were moving fast and steady, sinking down on his dick over and over again while your bodies stayed too close — noses brushing, stealing each other's air.

"you– you're so handsome," you breathed out, barely even realizing you said it.

"me?"

"yes," you whispered. "you."

he grinned and leaned forward after hearing that double down. ni-ki gave you a messy, open-mouthed kiss, your fingers threading through his hair again as your hips rocked in desperate circles.

you pulled back to suck on his jaw next, under his ear, then down to his neck — biting softly, marking him. you wanted to leave something there. something that would remind him how much you wanted to do this over and over again.

now, you're sitting in the center of your mattress, blinking stupidly slow as you try to process just how many times he made you cum. "g– god," you mumbled, "i think my spine broke."

ni-ki huffs a soft laugh, still catching his breath too, resting his head on his arm while his other hand would caress your stomach or squeeze your boobs. "you're fine... it's hurting because you are still talking too much."

"o– ow..."

ni-ki sat up and hugged you. placing soft kisses to your shoulder, your neck, and then to your temple. "fine, let's have it checked later. just lay down with me for now."

you nodded, laying down, pressing your back against his chest. you felt his smile against your skin, smug and fond. ni-ki palmed your breasts again... he can't stop touching you even if he wanted to.

"mm, you're such a baby," he murmurs against your hair, "what happened to the terrifying monster who's always mean and yells at me in meetings?"

"dead," you replied quietly, leaning against him. "she died."

ni-ki chuckled again after seeing you blush. he grinned before peppering kisses on your cheek again and he doesn't say it but he adores this messy, clingy, soft version of you.

the one only he ironically gets to see.

you sniffled, pressing your face to his neck. "ni-ki..."

"what?"

"i wanna see bisco."

"oh..."

"i– i wanna see your dog," you sniffled again, voice sleepy and soft. "even if he hates me…"

ni-ki smiled and whispered, "okay, baby." brushing your hair off your sweaty forehead, "i'll take you to see bisco as soon as he gets home."

later after a doctor's consultation, the dog-sitter also dropped off bisco. you're already in his apartment, in his shirt he basically forced you into wearing.

"wait–!" ni-ki reached out to get bisco but it ran towards to where you were. "bisco!" you gasped, eyes lighting up as you rushed toward the tiny white ball of fur that sprinted right away from you.

"bisco, come on! we brought you snacks!" you tried coaxing, crawling on your knees to look under the couch, but the little thing lunged out and bit your wrist – not hard but more of a warning chomp – "fuck– ow!"

ni-ki leaned against the wall, arms crossed and smiling like a proud dad watching the chaos unfold. "i told you he's dramatic."

you didn't care. you kept following bisco around the room, letting him bite, bark while you giggled and chased him with unearned affection... which ni-ki found strange because before, you probably would've fought with that small dog, until it fears you for rejecting you.

finally, bisco ran out of energy and jogged towards his bed, completely ignoring you like a diva.

you pouted and walked back to ni-ki, dragging your feet like you'd just been dumped. "why is it sweet to everyone but me, huh?" you mumbled, melting into his waiting arms.

ni-ki laughed and tugged you in, pressing a warm kiss to your forehead. "i don't think he hates you, y/n," he murmured, voice soft as his hand roamed slowly down your ass. "give it some time."

"or he knows you've been giving someone else all your attention." you added, rolling your eyes. "right? i knew it, he's jealous."

his lips found yours. "no," kiss. "he's not," kiss. "jealous," kiss. the kisses are so different from before. no clashing of teeth, no busting a lip open, or bruising... it feels like forgiving each other.

and usually, this groping and kissing would spiral into sex, but today, you both weren't even thinking about it. there's just the need to be close, not just to get off.

ni-ki was so distracted by you that he doesn't even know when did he stopped trying to win in everything.

he had plans too, you know? he thought about getting his lick back but whenever you come around, the noises in his head disappears, the urge to get even fades, and suddenly, there's nothing even left to fight for.

he pulls back just enough to see your face. you blinked up at him, tired and sleepy, your lips were still swollen from all the nonstop kissing.

but still, you're so goddamn kissable.

you gave ni-ki a kiss again when you saw him staring – once, twice – "i gotta go," you whispered eventually.

"this early?"

"yeah, i'm getting hungry."

"we can cook–"

"stop–"

"–y/n..." he interrupted, cutting you off. ni-ki opened his mouth then closed it before clearing his throat. "no. nothing. just…" he rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly nervous. his eyes kept darting down to the floor like he couldn't believe he was about to say it. "just take care, okay?"

you tilted your head, "t–thanks…"

what the hell?

you're still mean and you still drive him insane, ni-ki took a deep breath – he swore he hates being this kind of guy but fuck it.

now or never.

"do you wanna have dinner with me?" he asked. he said it a little too fast, it's obvious that he was shy. "outside."

"huh?" you blinked. "you mean like–"

"yeah," he said, pressing his lips together, swallowing thickly. "like a–"

"...like a date."

ni-ki braces himself for the teasing and for your usual sharp reply. he knows you'll probably laugh in a few seconds but right now, you're just staring at him, eyes wide in surprise and that alone slightly gave him a little hope.

and he thinks, if this is how he loses, then fine.

let's let it be you.

a/n: my biggest opp 3k notes special! thank you so much for all the love and good comments. the first part came out on march 1 so it's been three months... there's so much (an understatement lmao) drafts for this and lots of scenes did not make it. as you can see, it's not so much focused on the smut and i honestly don't know if anyone will see this or if this part two this is good enough.

i teared up writing this T_T burning blue - mariah the scientist

tagging: @asaheyow @n4mh0pe @sunghoonsarmpit

[taternessly]

Nah fr why are people hating Ragatha for this? This is just like the Jax situation when episode 2 came out. In the pilot everyone loved him but when they saw him basically being Jax and being an asshole everyone started hating him like??? You're just now realizing he's a bully? Not only that but when Jax starts revealing a "softer" side to him, people start excusing his behavior as "aww he's just hurt that's why he acts like this poor baby!! 🥺". Sure, that might be true, but that doesn't excuse him from the things he's said and done. 😭

Just because a character starts out good or "perfect" doesn't mean they can't have flaws too. As implied in episode 5 and pretty much the rest of the series, Ragatha uses toxic positivity as a way to cope. Toxic positivity IS a flaw as it can be damaging to both you and the people you interact with. But just because Ragatha is a toxic positive person doesn't mean she's evil or the "secret antagonist" of the series. If anything? I kinda relate with her. I don't really like showing negative emotions, especially sadness and anger. I have difficulty expressing my emotions because of this.

Does this make me or the other people who feel like this evil? No, no it doesn't. Ragatha isn't fake nor evil. She's just insecure and a little too positive for her own good. Sure, she might've come off as a jerk in episode 5 but during the softball adventure she apologized to both Pomni AND Jax. Jax didn't even apologize to anyone except Pomni that episode, which was only for putting her in a presidential position. So yeah, Jax definitely isn't better than Ragatha and Ragatha is not evil for revealing her flaws. Everyone has their flaws.

[leechqnsgirl]

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡🪐༘⋆ cause you're my iron man, and I love you 3000

notes: based off of this ask, this is kinda different from the actual ask I'm sorry 😭

-- you and niki have an argument.

or

-- the one where you both miss each other but don't know how to say it

niki x fem!reader | wc: 2.9k | angst, comfort, idol au | masterlist | warnings: language, crying, kissing, reader's a college student

****

the past two weeks have just been weird.

conversations between the two of you used to come natural.

it was almost like drinking water between the two of you. and its crazy to think of where you two are now.

it's hard to even fit your sleeping schedules today.

he's out all day and you're out for half of it.

the other half you don't get to breathe.

you're putting up with it because you knew this was the cost to be able to graduate with the degree that you want.

he hasn't even been staying many nights at your place anymore. you'd gotten the same text from him every night around seven pm for a week.

-sorry I can't come over tonight, don't wait up for me!

but the second week came and he stopped texting in all.

it stung a bit. because even though that message would bring your mood down. it was still from him. it was something from him.

sometimes you'd text him a good morning, he'd reply hours later with a good night.

it just felt like you were chasing after the shadow of him, you could see him there but he would inevitably be unreachable, and you were beginning to sense your legs giving out.

niki wasn't doing any better than you.

his face was drained of his natural color, he had bags under his eyes from the nights he lied awake in bed, fighting his thoughts.

it was never easy for him to speak on his feelings, never easy to be the first to do something.

his thoughts were eating him alive. no matter how much he tried, he just couldn't reach out first.

he hated how he felt. he hated himself. he hated that he stopped texting you, stopped calling, stopped coming by.

your apartment was a thirty minute drive from his dorm. he doesn't know what's holding him back.

the boys had noticed this change in him, but nobody asked him about it. they knew he'd just brush it off. he'd tell them it's nothing.

so they didn't push. they stayed quiet. despite the soundless whispers they'd share between each other at night about him.

niki knew.

how could he not? he noticed everything.

it wasn't until the end of the two week mark that jake walked up to him.

they finished practice and the plan was to shower then head over to the recording room.

everyone left, and jake was about to follow after but his hand slipped from the handle.

the door shut abruptly, the noise catching niki’s attention, making him turn his head towards the door.

"hyung?" niki called out, jake dropped the bag that was hanging off his shoulder.

he walked over to where niki was sitting against the mirrored walls.

he copied his position, sitting criss-crossed in front of him.

"just," he sighed, "just say it, niki." jake's eyebrows furrowed, "what's going on?"

niki bit his tongue. jake didn't even ask what's wrong. he asked what was going on. and that was enough of a difference to make his eyes sting.

"I'm an asshole." niki whispered. "I-I don't even know what to do to fix what I did." niki felt a hand on his knee. it was warm against his cold skin, even though he was still sweaty from practice.

"I can help, or i'll try to. just tell me."

niki's head finally raised, his red eyes that were heavy from fatigue finally meeting jakes.

"I don't even know how it started. we were fine like three weeks ago. I was holding her before bed, and she'd wake me up. we'd get ready for the day together," he sniffled, "a-and then I just started getting really busy with our comeback and I was canceling a lot on her. and the days I was finally free she'd cancel on me because of finals seasons. it was just back and forth from there." niki rubbed his left eye with his index finger. jake saw that it was wet when he lowered his hand from his face.

"I stopped texting her everyday because I felt embarrassed. I mean, I'm her boyfriend. the whole point of me is to be there for her. she shouldn't even have to call out my name for me to be next to her."

jake let out a quiet breath. niki breathed in a heavy one.

"I really fucked up. and I can't even bring myself to talk to her. every chance that I get to, I just pull back. I don't know whats fucking wrong with me." he let out a sob now, his hands coming up to rest on his head.

jake pulled his hands away from his head, grabbing his shoulders.

"nothing is wrong with you. okay?" niki tilted his head. "you're just going through a bump in the road. a very large bump. but one nonetheless. and you know the thing about bumps?" niki shook his head. "they end. they're there, and they're a pain in the ass but they end."

jake saw the tears in his eyes fall down, his nose red.

"go over to her apartment right now. I'll tell everyone you weren't feeling well. I want you to go over to her empty handed and talk. even if the thought of it is nauseating." niki gulps, but he nods his head.

jake pulled him into his arms, just holding him there. he could feel niki trembling. the poor boy went nearly a month with no touch, no contact.

niki pulled away, looking at jake's face for a few seconds.

"thank you."

--

the drive to your apartment was daunting.

the whole thirty-two minutes he was on the verge of either sobbing or throwing up.

so when he finally parked his car in front of the building, he rubbed a hand over his face and pulled his hoodie over his head.

he made his way up to your room number. a heavy breath made its way out of his body.

he knocked three times then stopped.

looking at his phone, it was 6:13.

he doesn't know if you're home right now. he doesn't even know if you're home.

soon enough, the door swung open.

"riki?"

his heart broke at your voice.

you couldn't believe that he was standing in front of you.

your thoughts were nonstop but your mind was empty.

you thought seeing him would make you sad, upset.

but really, it just made you angry.

you brought him inside. not wanting your nosy neighbors to get an ear of whatever was going to happen.

"what are you doing here." you asked flatly.

you could see his lips turn downwards.

"y/n-" he stopped himself when he saw your face.

you looked so....disappointed, angry, upset, annoyed, and everything in between. the look was enough to make all his emotions resurface.

no words were coming out of his mouth and that somehow worsened it all for him.

"I know you didn't drive all the way here after three weeks to guilt trip me, riki." you scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest.

"no.." he mumbled, gazing at the ground.

"god, I'm so sorry. I don't even know how to start." he licked his lips, "I was so-, god, so wrong and selfish and I shouldn't have ghosted you. I'm supposed to be there with you and I failed. I left y-you alone because I was afraid. and you know what? I still am." his voice broke towards the end.

your face softened a bit. just a bit.

"that doesn't make up for any of this, riki." your voice was firm, your hands moved to gesture between you two.

"I know." he sounded so broken, "and it's my fault, I should've talked with you, I shouldn't have kept everything inside." "but you did."

he felt powerless. like no matter what he would say, or do, wouldn't be enough.

"y/n, please. it was so hard, baby. I swear it." he felt a lump form in his throat. "I couldn't sleep well, I didn't wanna eat. I missed you. so much. and it fucking killed me knowing I could have fixed everything earlier. it was just so hard. it felt like the past three weeks, everything bad in my life was piling up. it's been so hard."

he took a step closer to you.

"I love you. I love you. I love you and everything about you. I missed all of you too." his hands balled into fists on his sides, he felt like he had to physically stop himself from touching you. he didn't know if he had your permission just yet.

"I missed how you'd hold me, how you'd wake me up, how it was you I'd come home to." he knew he probably looked and sounded pathetic. but at this point? he didn't care.

when you saw niki cry, that was it for you. you couldn't help but get watery eyes too.

he never cried, not in front of you at least.

its been two years of you two dating and he's never actually cried in front of you.

"riki-" he shook his head. "please don't call me that." his eyes looked at you, they were red, a bit puffy and held such a weight to them.

he always told you how much he hated hearing his full name from you.

"I-I know i shouldn't have done all of this. and i know i keep saying how i shouldnt have or what i should've done but, please. can i get another chance?"

you sighed, the whole facade you were hoping of keeping up came crumbling down.

you couldn't stay mad at him, maybe upset, but not mad. and you didn't want to yell at him.

"okay.." you walked up to right in front of him, not making any contact yet. "but we're still gonna talk later."

he nodded his head, biting on his lower lip.

"it isn't just your fault, its mine a bit too." he shook his head at your words. "n-no, baby. its all me. really."

you brought a hand up to his cheek. you felt your heart break when he closed his eyes, leaning into your touch.

how did you go nearly a month without this man? and how did he nearly go a month without you?

he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into his body. his warmth. the way his shoulders shook slightly against yours and the crook of your neck got wet from his face was enough to really break you.

having him in your arms like this, you couldn't deny the fact that you didn't miss him anymore.

niki kept his voice quiet, still muttering a string of "I'm sorry"s into your body.

you brought a hand up to rest on the back of his head, your fingers tangling into his hair as you pulled closer to your body.

"I missed you too, baby. I missed you so much. i'm sorry."

the feeling of your hand in his hair and the emotion he felt from your words calmed him down. shaky breaths leaving him now.

ten minutes, ten solid minutes of the two of you sitting in each other arms passed when you said the first word.

"niki, baby?" you called out softly, you heard him reply with a hum. "let's eat, yeah? I know you're probably hungry." he pulled away from you, but kept a hand on your sleeve. he nodded his head, following you as you walked into your kitchen.

you had some leftover food from yesterday, and so you began heating those up.

the whole time you could feel him watching him. like he wanted to say something but he couldn't bring himself to say it. and whenever your eyes would look at him, his would stray away. gazing at the ground as he played with the drawstrings of his hoodie.

niki doesn't think he's ever felt so welcomely unwelcome.

he knew you were okay with him being there, in your own space, but something was still eating at him, telling him he shouldn't even be allowed to have the luxury of sitting down and eating with you.

he was quiet, standing by the entrance of the kitchen and watching you.

the same kitchen you two would make your morning coffees together and bake silly recipes you found online.

it's crazy how fast things can change.

"riki?" you called out. "yeah?" he looked at you with glossy eyes. "come on, let's go sit."

the first thing he noticed when you two sat at your dinner table was the food.

you'd purposefully given him a much larger portion than your own plate.

he reached over the table for your hands, placing a kiss to both of them.

"thank you." he whispered, holding onto your hands tightly.

the whole dinner was silent, you both finished and brought your dishes to the kitchen. he washed and you dried.

that feeling settled into niki again.

"can I stay over....?" he asked when you two finished cleaning.

did he really think you were going to say no?

"of course you can, you wanna freshen up? I'll just be out here." you placed a hand on his shoulder, rubbing up and down. he nodded his head, walking away.

niki went into your room, you had a cabinet full of his clothes because of how often he'd stay over.

he picked out some for himself and went into the bathroom.

you still had his toothbrush, his face wash, his shampoo. everything was still there.

maybe he was in his head too much.

twenty minutes passed from then until he came out, he seemed calmer. his face looked like it too.

niki saw you working on the couch, laptop in your lap as you typed away to whatever assignment you were doing.

he took a seat next to you, his leg bouncing as he decided what he should say. or do.

before he even knew it, you were closing your laptop and facing him.

you laid your head on his chest, snuggling into him. niki felt his heartbeat speed up, he was pretty sure you could hear it.

"I'll always love you. no matter what." you reassured, pressing a kiss to his collarbone.

his breath hitched, and his cheeks tinted with a light pink. niki was always a bit sensitive there. the lack of physical contact and sensitivity made him catch your kiss off guard.

he cleared his throat, wrapping an arm around your waist.

your face was resting softly, there didn't seem to be any trace of your previous emotions.

your eyes were heavy with sleep, cheeks bare from any makeup, and your lips,

god your lips.

he missed them. he missed how they felt, how warm they were. he missed the feeling of them on his own.

he didn't even realize he had a hand tracing over your face. he pulled his hand back quickly.

he couldn't be the first one to touch you. not after everything. you have to set the boundaries and he'll follow.

"why'd you move your hand?" his eyes widened. "u-um, I didn't know if you'd want me to...um, touch you again." his voice was so small, not even in volume but just in its emotion.

"you really think that I don't want you to? now?" he shrugged his shoulders weakly.

you got up, moving to straddle his lap, placing both your hands on his face.

"baby," you looked into his eyes, gaze never wavering. "i'm your girlfriend, niki. I want you to hold me and touch me." your thumb rubbing circles into his face.

he nodded his head, placing his shaky hands on your waist. he breathed out from his nose, his eyes closing and his head falling onto your shoulder.

"right," he mumbled.

he relaxed himself again, focusing on the way your body felt against his.

he doesnt think he could even express in words how much pain he was in for the past weeks.

hed gotten so used to everything from you.

when he'd get a hug from his members, it didn't feel the same as yours. it didn't hold the same satisfying heaviness as yours did.

he'd never tell you, but over at his dorm you left a hoodie behind.

every night he fall asleep with it, and every morning he'd wake up early enough to hide it before one of the boys saw.

but he didn't know that he did a bad job at that. he didn't know that jungwon was always the one to wake up the earliest and peek into everyone's rooms.

and he didn't know that jungwon had texted you countless times, asking when's the next time you'd come over. just to be completely dodged by your replies.

and you'd never tell him, but he had a cologne of his that he left over at your place once. and you'd spray it on one of your pillows, holding it when you'd fall asleep.

"I'm tired, ki..." you mumbled against him, adjusting your head against his chest.

he bit back a smile, one caused purely because of the cuteness he saw from you.

"let's sleep, then." he said quietly, holding onto you as he laid down on the couch. your body on top of his.

he closed his eyes when he heard your voice again.

"ki?"

"yeah?"

"you'll be here...when I wake up. right?"

he interlocked his hand with yours. squeezing gently.

"yeah. I will." he promised, bringing your hand up as he placed a kiss on it. 

[charles-leclerizz]

driver diaries : collection #3 when you're shy

models : CL16, CS55, MV1, LN4, OP81

VIP guest's in the front row : [@vroomvroomcircuit, @disneyprincemuke, @verstappen-cult, @starkwlkr, @sailing-with-100-ships, @foreveralbon, @lorarri], [@dallaavv, @nichmeddar, @sisinever] IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED, PLEASE SEND IN AN ASK, AND MUTUALS LET ME KNOW IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE REMOVED ON PRIV !

availability : pre-dating with all drivers

designer's comments : she's backkk. missed this series I cannot lie to you all <333. this was requested ! so so sorry I took eons and eons to reply, hopefully it was worth it, if it wasn't (ok stone cold bitch) feel free to request again <33.

Charles Leclerc 16 thinks he did something wrong

You’ve always been a little shy around Charles. It’s not that you don’t like him - God, if anything, that’s the problem. He’s too much. Too pretty, too charming, too aware of how his smile lands like a punch to the chest. 

So, you tend to shrink back a bit when he talks to you. Glance down instead of meeting his eyes. Keep your hands in your lap and your words short, because you're scared that if you say too much, it'll be obvious how badly you're trying not to fall for him. 

Charles notices. Of course he notices. 

But he doesn’t read it for what it is. He sees the way you flinch slightly when he sits beside you at the team event, the way you freeze up when he compliments your earrings, the way you laugh politely but never quite look at him. And after a few days of it, the light behind his smile starts to dim. 

He starts keeping a little distance. Stops seeking you out with the same warmth. Doesn’t sit next to you anymore. When you speak now - quietly, nervously - he just nods, gives you a polite smile, and turns away. 

You don’t understand what changed.  You start thinking maybe he just never liked you in the first place. 

The breaking point comes one afternoon at the track. You catch him alone in the hospitality tent, scrolling through something on his phone. He barely looks up when you sit beside him. 

“Hey,” you say, softly. 

“Hi,” he replies, not cold, but… not the usual Charles. 

You hesitate. “Did I do something wrong?” 

That makes him pause. 

He sets his phone down and looks at you, expression unreadable. “No. Not at all.” 

You twist your fingers together in your lap. “You’ve been… distant. I thought maybe-” 

“I thought you were uncomfortable around me,” he interrupts, voice quieter than you’ve ever heard it. “You never really talk to me. You always look away. I didn’t want to make things worse by pushing.” 

Your eyes widen. “Charles, no. I’m not uncomfortable.” 

His brows pull together. “Then… what is it?” 

You swallow. “I just- I get nervous. Around you. You’re... you.” You gesture weakly, blushing. “And I’m not good at this kind of thing. I didn’t want to come off weird.” 

He blinks. “You’re nervous because of me?” 

You nod. 

And then he laughs - not unkindly, just like something’s clicked. Like relief is flooding through him. 

“Mon dieu,” he mutters under his breath, running a hand through his curls. “I thought you hated me.” 

“I don’t!” you say quickly. “I… like you. That’s the problem.” 

He grins then - the real one, the one that lights up his whole face. And it knocks the breath out of you. 

“You should’ve told me,” he says, voice warm again. “I wouldn’t have pulled away.” 

You’re still a little pink as he reaches out and takes your hand. 

“I’ll be patient,” he says, threading his fingers through yours. “But you’ll have to look me in the eye eventually.” 

You do.  And this time, you don’t look away. 

Carlos Sainz 55 he thinks he makes you uncomfortable

Carlos is observant - but not always when it matters.  And with you, he just can't figure it out. 

You’ve been around the paddock for weeks now - part of the extended PR team, quiet and composed, never in the way. Always polite. Always smiling. Always… distant. 

At first, Carlos thought you were just shy. But then came the way you step back when he gets too close. The way your voice goes faint when he greets you. The way your eyes drop the second he compliments you or calls you guapa under his breath. 

And suddenly, it stops feeling like shyness and starts feeling like discomfort. 

So he backs off.  Stops lingering near your workstation. Cuts the jokes shorter. No more smirking comments, no more casual touches. It’s like he’s folded himself in - tighter, quieter - and now you miss it more than you thought possible. 

You don’t understand why it hurts. You weren’t trying to act cold. You were just… shy. Intimidated, maybe. And yeah, he’s gorgeous - of course he is. But it’s not just that. It’s how warm he is. How bright. How hard he makes your heart thump just by looking at you. 

So the silence feels sharp now. And you're the one who's confused. 

It all comes to a head when you’re cleaning up the Ferrari media lounge after a promo shoot. Carlos walks in to grab something, sees you, and does a half-turn like he’s about to leave again. 

You panic and blurt out, “Did I do something wrong?” 

Carlos stops halfway through the door and turns. He looks at you - really looks at you. “No,” he says, slower now, more careful. “I just… thought I did.” 

Your brows furrow. 

He sighs, crossing his arms. “You seemed uncomfortable. Around me. I didn’t want to push.” 

Your heart sinks. “Carlos- I wasn’t uncomfortable. I’m just-” You pause and shrug. “Shy. Especially around people I… like.” 

He blinks. “Like?” 

You feel your cheeks go hot. “Yeah. Like.” 

There’s a beat of silence. Then he laughs, soft and a little sheepish. “You’re shy?” 

You nod. 

He crosses the space between you in two long steps. “And you like me?” 

“I said that didn’t I?” you mumble, fiddling with your fingers as you watch him approach you. 

He’s smiling now - soft and golden. “I thought you hated me.” 

“You’re too nice to hate.” You glance up. “Too nice to handle sometimes, maybe.” 

He touches your arm gently. “You should’ve told me.” 

“I thought I was being obvious.” 

Carlos smiles, eyes flicking down to your lips. “Next time, maybe say it with words.” 

And then, when you don’t flinch away, he leans in - kisses you slow, patient, sure. Like he’s waited a long time to know where he stood. 

Max Verstappen 1 he thinks you don't like him

Max isn’t good at mixed signals.  He likes directness - clean lines, no guessing, no mess. He prefers it even. So when you start shrinking around him - going quiet, keeping your arms folded, never quite meeting his eyes - he files it under one thing: you don’t want him around. 

Fine. 

He doesn’t take it personally. At least, that’s what he tells himself. You’re shy, sure. Quiet. Polite. But there’s a tightness to it around him, and he’s not dumb. He can read a room - especially when he’s the one dimming the light in it. 

So, he pulls back. Keeps things curt. Efficient. He still greets you when you pass by the garage, still nods if your eyes meet - but the warmth is gone. The teasing, the charm, the slow smiles he used to throw your way like skipping stones? All gone. 

And it breaks your heart a little. 

Because you do like him. So much it sometimes feels stupid. He’s just… a lot. Intense. Beautiful. And impossibly hard to act normal around. You don’t mean to be distant - you just don’t want to embarrass yourself by being obvious. But now? Now it’s like you’re strangers. 

It gets to you one day. You’re both stuck in a driver’s lounge before a media block, alone, quiet. He’s scrolling on his phone, leaning against the far wall, not even sparing you a glance. 

“Did I do something?” you ask, soft but sharp with worry. 

He doesn’t look up. “No.” 

“Then why are you being like this?” 

His eyes flick to you, guarded. “I thought you were uncomfortable. Around me. So I backed off.” 

Your mouth parts slightly. “I wasn’t uncomfortable.” 

Max scoffs, just a little. “You flinch every time I speak.” 

“I flinch because I like you.” You surprised yourself with that one. 

The silence goes still. His eyes lift. 

You swallow. “And you kind of… scare me. Not in a bad way. Just… you’re Max Verstappen. You don’t exactly make it easy to think straight.” 

His brows crease. “So you’re shy.” 

You nod. 

A long pause. Then, a faint huff - amused, almost. He sets his phone down and walks toward you slowly. 

“You should’ve said something.” 

“I’m saying something now.” 

He stops in front of you, hand reaching out to trace a light touch down your arm. “I won’t back off again,” he says, voice low. 

And when he leans in, the kiss is softer than you'd imagined. And everything clicks into place. 

Lando Norris 4 he makes you nervous

You’re shy - painfully so - and the worst part is, Lando notices.  Of course he does. He’s the sun in every room he walks into, and you’re just a shadow in the corner, trying not to catch fire. 

You laugh too softly at his jokes. You look away every time he leans in. You wave awkwardly, never quite speaking first. And the more he tries to get you to warm up, the more your nerves clamp down, making you feel like a walking malfunction. 

Lando thinks it’s his fault. 

The teasing stops. The goofy smirks fade. He gets quieter around you - still nice, still polite - but less… Lando. No more little nicknames. No more playfully asking if you’ve missed him. No more light bumps against your shoulder as he walks past. 

You think he’s tired of you. He thinks you’re creeped out by him.  It’s chaos. Silent, unspoken, and spiraling. 

It all unravels in the worst possible place: McLaren HQ, the sim room. You’ve been helping run logistics, and he’s just finished a long session. He brushes past you without a word. 

That’s the final straw. “Did I do something wrong?” 

He freezes. Turns slowly. “What?” 

“You’ve been... weird. Avoiding me.” 

He blinks. “You avoid me. Every time I talk to you, you look like you want to bolt.” 

Your throat tightens. “I don’t want to bolt. I’m just... not good with this stuff. I get nervous.” 

Lando stares at you. “I make you nervous?” 

You nod, miserable. “You’re Lando Norris. You make a lot of people nervous.” 

A beat of silence. Then- he laughs. Relief spreads across his face like sunshine. “I thought you thought I was creepy or annoying or something.” 

You shake your head fast. “No! You’re just, hard to talk to because I like you, okay?” 

His mouth opens. Then closes. Then opens again. “...Wait. What.” 

You groan into your hands. “I’m going to jump out the window.” 

“Don’t. I like you too.” 

You blink. 

“And I’m very into flustered,” he adds, stepping closer. “So, if you keep blushing like that, I’m going to kiss you.” 

And he does - right there, with your heart in your throat and the sim computer humming behind you like a witness. 

Oscar Piastri 81 he just ... gives you space

Oscar isn’t loud. He isn’t showy. He notices things in silence. 

Like how your eyes never quite meet his. How your voice gets quieter when he walks into the room. How you always seem to smile at everyone but him. 

He assumes he makes you uncomfortable.  So he gives you space. A lot of it.  He’s polite, respectful, kind - but distant. Detached. Careful not to make you feel boxed in. 

What he doesn’t realise is that you feel boxed out. 

You don’t mean to shrink away from him. You just… don’t know how to be normal around someone you’ve been quietly crushing on since the first time he looked up from his phone and asked if you wanted the last packet of crisps. That small. That stupid. That unforgettable. 

And now he’s cold. Or not cold exactly - but quiet in a way that hurts.  You miss the version of him who caught your eye across the garage with a flicker of a smile. The Oscar who made jokes under his breath and bumped your shoulder when he passed by. 

You think maybe you broke something.  And you don’t know how to fix it. 

It comes out when you’re stuck helping pack gear after a long shoot. Just the two of you. Silence thick enough to cut. 

You can’t stand it anymore. 

“Did I do something wrong?” you ask, your voice thin. 

Oscar glances at you, surprised. “No. Why?” 

“You’ve been… different.” 

He hesitates. “I thought you needed space.” 

You frown. “Why?” 

“You never really talk to me. You seem tense when I’m around. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.” 

Your chest tightens. “Oscar, I’m not uncomfortable. I’m just... shy.” 

His expression shifts slightly - not dramatic, but you see it. A flicker of oh. 

“I thought I’d done something,” he admits. “So I backed off.” 

“I was scared I was being obvious.” 

“Obvious about what?” 

You blush. “That I like you.” 

He exhales, almost a laugh. Then steps closer. 

“I like you too,” he says, and it’s so simple, so steady, that you almost miss it. “And for what it’s worth… I like the quiet. I just don’t like being a stranger in it.” 

You meet his eyes. “You’re not.” 

“Good.” 

And when he kisses you, it’s gentle - like everything else he does. Like he’s promising you’ve been understood now. 

[lxvvie]

One Night (I Can't) Stand.

loser!simon x loser!reader

You smelled smoke. Right after the direct sunlight bitch-slapped you awake.

You’d glare if you had the energy, but it was the sun and you were tired. Too tired. Too tired physically, and it wasn’t the type of exhaustion that came from being at work all day with your asshole boss and inept coworkers, oh no, this was… this was that ‘feel good’ tired, the one that came from a lot of—oh!

Oh.

You moved and… you were sore. In all the right places, too. Your body felt heavy and a little like Jello. You took a peek under the covers. Butt ass naked. Ohhh. So you did get some after all. Finally. Look at you, getting dicked down like normal people. After a bar crawl you were practically dragged to under the guise of “team building”. You cackled like some fuckin’ goofball, like you were in on some inside joke only you and the universe knew, and then you felt the bed shift a little next to you, heard a soft exhale, smelled some more smoke, and…

…Wait a minute. Who’d you fuck?

You were almost scared to turn over. The last time something like this happened, you shat where you ate. By proxy. It was one of your co-worker’s friends, some guy named… Jack? Joshua? Whoever the fuck. Anyway, the sex was… mediocre at best, you don’t even remember if you came or not (like who could forget an orgasm?), and afterward, you had to contend with said co-worker’s knowing smile every time you saw her. And then the poor guy asked you out (at her encouragement). Oh, you still cringe at the fallout from that.

Anyway… who’d you fuck again?

You took a deep breath, counted down from five, prepared yourself for the possibility of it being another shit-show, and then—

“The fuck was so funny?” Well, that eliminated… all of your co-workers. Deep voice. Nice, deep voice. Nice, deep, gravelly voice. Big dick energy voice. You think. The stuff fanfiction and bad boy fantasies are made of. Okay, you’ll hold that next cackle in. You turned over to face your bedmate and was immediately greeted to the sight of a pair of big brown eyes staring into your soul. Or, rather, staring through your soul. Same difference. You just know that he’s big. Huge. Physically imposing. Broad-shouldered. Muscular but not, what is it, incredibly defined? You can see the power in his body, and it was something to watch as he rubbed the back of his neck absentmindedly. Muscles under tan-lined skin. Angular, long face. A nose that was broken one time too many. Long eyelashes. Furrowed brows. Five o’clock shadow. Resting bitch face. Buzzcut that was growing out. He was cute in a grungy “fuck you and fuck them, too” kind of way. Mismatched features that matched him and made sense.

Shitty tattoos, though. Mm. A travesty.

So now you’re face-to-face with your bedmate who, from the looks of it, had been up longer than you, had also been watching you if his sitting up against the pillow was any indication, and was nursing one of cheapest cigarette brands known to man (shoutout to your chain-smoking HR rep for getting you hip to this information against your will while at job orientation), and… uh…

“…Who the fuck are you?” Smooth. Real smooth, blurting that shit out. Fuck your foot-in-mouth syndrome. It’s done you more harm than good.

Didn’t really faze the guy much, if any, though. He just quirked a brow. Took another hit from his cigarette. Flicked the ashes into the makeshift ashtray of a cracked shot glass. Exhaled and let the smoke settle over you two. Came back to staring into (or is it through?) your soul. Okay… this is awkward. Well, it was until—

“Who the fuck are you?” came the brusque response. You were taken aback. Don’t know why because you didn’t know the guy from a can of paint, but you were, and if he caught the shadow that passed over your face, he didn’t say anything. The high you had earlier from FINALLY getting some dick came crashing down stupendously upon this asshole’s broad shoulders.

You hate your co-workers and boss all over again.

And you hate that HR rep even more.

[destinysbounty]

I think I wouldn't mind Zane's NPC-ification quite as much as I do, if it didn't feel like they were also retconning the fact that he was ever a person to begin with.

Like, sure, I totally understand. Dragons Rising has a huge ensemble cast, and the RGB trio + new ninja are the clear focus. And I don't mind that! Everyone who does get proper narrative attention is written so wonderfully and I adore what we have. But...sometimes it feels like they're just kinda divvying up everything that makes Zane who he is and giving it to everyone else, and never even briefly acknowledging Zane's ties to those traits.

Remember when Zane used to have prophetic dreams foretelling future events? Me neither. Hey Lloyd, how are your visions coming along?

Or, y'know how one of Zane's most integral plot lines, character details, and motifs is his struggles with memory and identity? Remember that time he got amnesia and was then both manipulated and magically corrupted into being a villain? Nah that never happened, anyway check out what Jay is up to now

Or, does anyone recall how Zane is a canonically really good cook with pies so delicious they made Jay cry on screen? No that's Arin's thing, actually

Heck, we even have our quota of ~Silly Robot Beep Boop Bop~ jokes fulfilled by Lobbo!

Don't get me wrong, I'm not hating on any of the other characters for having these traits. Nor am I arguing that Zane should have a singular monopoly on these types of storylines. But when they take traits that have for so long been primarily associated with Zane, like cooking and visions and amnesia, and share them with someone else without even briefly acknowledging Zane's prior involvement...idk. It just feels like they're trying to repackage all the things that make Zane interesting while still writing him out of the narrative. It feels like they're going "whaat? Zane, have personality outside of being a generic robot character?? That never happened!" Like they're just trying to have their nindroid and kill him too.

And I mean, to some extent I can understand their hesitation. It's the same reason the Mr. E/Echo reveal got scrapped in s8 - theres just way too much going on right now, and the narrative load required to explain somwthing this complicated during a reboot/sequel would just bog down an already very complicated story. Zane has a very convoluted backstory that, for new fans dropping in to the sequel series for the first time, may be difficult to explain. How do you recap Zane's history with amnesia in a neat an tidy way for the next gen story, when there's already so much going on?

Like i said, i get that. But they could at least make, like, brief blink-and-youll-miss-it allusions, yknow? Like how they played the Ice Emperor theme during Zane's existential crisis during drs1, or when Zane told Zanth not to follow dancing birds in drs3. Tasteful, subtle, doesn't require much insider knowledge and newer fans could easily interpret it as a noodle incident comment without losing out on their comprehension.

Maybe after Jay gets eliminated from the Tournament, Zane offers to go after him saying, "I've lost myself once or twice before. If anyone understands what he's going through, it's me." And if you want to preserve the plot unobstructed, maybe you can have it so that either Zane fails to get through to Jay or Jay is gone without a trace before he can get to him. Maybe there's a brief scene of Zane making a pie to try and cheer Sora up, but she can't eat it because it reminds her too much of Arin. Or maybe Lloyd has a panic attack over his visions and Zane is the one to offer him the advice about not fighting the vision and letting it come naturally.

Don't you see how easy that is? You would change literally nothing about the story at large, and you're not detracting from the main plotlines or character arcs that are quite validly dominating this series. But you're also throwing a bone to the people who actually like Zane. Like???? I'm not even asking for much here, man :/

Idk. Maybe I'm just bitter and need to touch grass, who's to say

[ajoure]

My little yapp session about Harley and Leith in 4cmit pre-THOJ & after Experiment 1354 under the cut.

Can we talk about the moment in 4cmit harleith relationships when Harley was actually both furious at Leith and loved him. About the moment that still shows itself, still makes Harley cautious around Leith a bit and still makes Leith experience *flashbacks* and feel guilt

Harley really hates loving Leith. In Charm of Imperfections, he tells Leith "and I hate that you did it" talking about this whole situation with the new body and how it made Harley actually feel joy about being human again. First of all, Leith fucks with his god complex, of course. Man who dreamed about being immortal and possess power over everyone now doubts himself, experiences moments in which he has to doubt his own views that he has held all his life. Harley doesn't like being *wrong* or even feel like he is.

He hates feeling love to Leith, off all people. He hates that Leith is the one.

Right after 1354, Harley felt so much rage (and he still does, it's not like he will just forgive Leith, it's hard to) he was furious. Betrayal from the one you loved. It's like he lives through the worst moment of his life again, like he went through hell with Elliot again, but this time it was even more personal. It was the person he thought he could trust after so much time together.

And like, yes, it is true, Leith will prove to Harley that he loves him, you know the whole *4cmit*, *new body*, *going too far to make Harley happy*. But then? Then Harley probably howled to himself for hours, days, weeks, refusing to work, undergoing tortures from man he dared to trust. And in his face, Leith was a menace. Humiliation, mockery, talking Harley down and threatening him

But, you can't hide from Harley. Leith wasn't able to. Harley knew how Leith actually expressed REGRET after what he's done. He saw Leith at his worst, looked at him through cameras in his office. So it affected how he felt about him, planted the doubt, reinforced the affection.

In one of future comics Harley will tell someone "Leith didn't ask for second chance, he just took it" and it's true. Leith never asked Harley for second chance, they both just. Knew they need it. Leith with his desire to redeem himself, and Harley with his hopes that *maybe he can trust someone after all*

Yapp session is over. Sorry for all mistakes in text, I repost this from Telegram and I realised I had to change some moments/add something but I don't have time now to pay much attention to it-

Pre-THOJ, They started relationships again, not really admitting that hey, they are together. It's just a twisted work thing, nothing serious, "I will tear you apart the second I get a chance to, Leith"

But after like, a solid number of times when Leith could've shocked Harley but didn't, and Harley could've killed Leith but didn't it's began to seem like It's not really just a work thing. They still denied it, because after all what happened it's obviously very hard to admit.

Stella knew the whole time she's #1 old men yaoi shipper btw/hj

Conclusion: I love toxic old men yaoi🤸🏻‍♂️

[toonxar]

Heavy material about my feelings about this fandom, please don't read if you are sensitive.

I said what I said.

I wanted to get this off my chest for the longest while so here it is.

my blood is Saudi and Ukrainian, I live mostly in KSA thus I don't speak much Ukrainian or Russian, but I have a large Ukrainian side, I HAVE been affected by the war gravely, however this doesn't not stop me from being a good fucking person.

First off, to make it clear I'm pro Ukraine, obviously, however people get mad that I don't speak much about this matter of war or all hail my country here in tumblr, but I'm not here for that, I'm here to escape the fucking war and I want to feel comforted by the thing I love because guess what, people join fandoms to seek comfort and happiness in the things they love, except I can't in this fandom, a fandom I cannot for the life of me detach myself from despite how much it hurts me now because I LOVED stalker before all this shit and I still do, except now I don't feel joy when I check it, now I get only reminded of pain as it's just politics war and racist people.

So I keep my profile happy, as the least I could do is bring joy to others and make them forget about their reality. I'm on the brink of leaving this toxic fandom but I know there are people out there like me. So I'll stay for how long I can hold.

Second, what do you know about being blamed for something you didn't fucking do? I speak as Saudi now, you know the names I've been called by Americans and other foreigners and the abuse I got just because of my ethnicity? Like I, toonxar, personally hurt their families? No, no you fucking don't and I know when you don't when I see that you're blatantly racist. You don't hate just your oppressors, you hate them all. Kids, powerless, fucking genes, doesn't matter you hate them all.

Hate me or not, I don't care about your ethnicity so long you are a good fucking person, because what I'm not is a racist heartless person.

You are welcome to my account, I hope you, the powerless good person who have been hurt live the good life you deserve, Russian or fucking not. There I said it.

If I unfollowed or distant myself from you please don't take it personally, I still love you and you have all the right to reblog your feelings in your own profile, but I desperately want to distant myself from war for my sanity and actually feel happy when I check this fandom.

**Ethnic racism is a thing, if you hate every russian even the undeserving ones then yes, you ARE a racist.**

[equestria-cross-mod]

Very long vent/rant below the break (yes, another one). Also, go read Twin Runes, it's really good. Also also, bully me into reading the entire thing, because for some reason I can't seem to sit down and do that on my own.

And to clarify, this whole thing is directed at the anon who asked the question, not the person who answered the ask.

I was just scrolling through this blog since I enjoy the comic (though I really need to read the whole thing) and came across this post. If you know me, you know that I really don't like letting injustice stand without me saying or doing something, so here we go. Prepare for heavily restrained anger.

Akanemnon have stated that how people see them doesn't matter as much as how they make others feel. And they want them to feel positively. I can tell they're incredibly kind because of that.

I also empathize with them about this in particular, considering that, while I'm not popular, I do still struggle immensely with being social just in general. Especially publicly.

Now, here's the thing. I have a different approach to this sort of harassment they're experiencing here, which I've stated above. While I'm not as aware of the unspoken social rules that neurotypicals have, primarily because I'm autistic (among other things), some of the rules I do know are ones I don't agree with.

Now, to my point.

Anon? I didn't see the post being referenced here, but I don't think I need to. You're being ten times worse, anyhow. What you're doing is known as "guilt-tripping", and it's something I take huge issue with. You're also assuming the worst here, which tends to make you look like (excuse my language but I can't think of a better word) an asshole.

I know you'll never see this, and you know what? Fine. That's not why I'm writing this.

I'm writing this because I'm sick of people trying to make genuinely innocent people look bad. One mistake doesn't make you a bad person. Not even many. That probably just means you're stubborn or something, but not necessarily bad. Intentional and repetitive bad decisions make you a bad person.

That's what you're doing here, Anon. They made a mistake, and you decided to make them feel bad about it because you felt offended over something they said because they were stressed out.

If you were stressed out and said something dumb, I'll admit, I'd probably be a little offended too. That's not the problem. The fact that you acted on it in this way is the problem.

Everyone gets angry sometimes. Everyone can occasionally be unprofessional. But what you did was worse, because not only were you also unprofessional, but you did it intentionally. And that is unacceptable.

So many people on the internet just like you need to watch what you say, for various reasons, and to be considerate of other people. It doesn't matter if you can't be traced, those words still affect not only the people you direct them to, but also everyone else that sees them. I know that because I was affected.

And if people figured out it was you, which I don't think is entirely unheard of, they will treat you the same way. 95% guarantee.

Treat people how you want to be treated.

In this case, I'm trying to be as nice as my rage allows me to be while calling you out for being rude. As such, I also want people to tell me when I say something wrong or bad so I can correct myself, preferably in a manner that doesn't trigger bad memories to return to my mind and make me feel awful.

If your purpose was simply to ask for an apology, or to let them know that you were uncomfortable, then you need to learn to not insult them or make unreasonable assumptions in the process. You were lucky this time, but many people would've just ignored you. Telling you this from experience.

And if you do see this, just know that I do genuinely hope you learn how to address problems in your life better than this. Both minor and major. Despite how much I hate bad people (which I only think you're slightly bad since this is only one bad decision), I do want everyone to improve and become better people, no matter who they are. I often don't expect it though, considering... well, a lot of things. But I'm hoping this is a one-time thing for you.

Be better. Always strive to be better. Improve continuously, little by little. And if you don't know where or how to start or continue improving, ask someone you trust how you could do so.

Please add a trigger warning next time you threaten in your posts. I already feel you don't like neurodivergent individuals with the way you react to asks but that really unprofessional.

As a neurodivergent person myself, I apologize if that is how I came across. That was FAR from how I want to make anyone feel. Because it is simply not the case.

The threat was something I thought to be a throwaway line that I unfortunately did not think too deeply about in the moment of writing it. It was too far, and I recognize and do apologize for that. It came from a place of legit frustration as it feels like whatever I am trying to state is not paid attention to.

It is overwhelming, and I can not claim in any way that I am actually good at being a public person. I have stated before that having so many eyes on me is terrifying, as it causes me severe anxiety at times.

This position was handed to me by a weird twist of fate. And more often than not I question if I really even want it.

What I do want is to tell a story. One that gives people hope and makes them feel better. No matter who they are and what they might struggle with. I do want to be a good and supportive person. To ANYONE.

Again. I sincerely apologize for my harsh words. I do not wish to make anyone feel like I hate them or hold a grudge against them.

My frustrations got the better of me, and I should have acted accordingly.

[theonlyy1ivyy]

That'll Teach you.

summary: Satoru's had a crush on you for ages and finally get's the chance to talk to you because he's your new tutor. But he instantly regretted it the moment he realised how far behind everyone else you were. So he did something about it.

Tw: Gojo's lowkey mean 😓 and semi publix sex (you two are in the back of the library)

˚⋆. 𐙚 ˚ ˚⋆. 𐙚 ˚ ˚⋆. 𐙚 ˚ ˚⋆. 𐙚 ˚ ˚⋆. 𐙚 ˚ ˚⋆. 𐙚 ˚

You were gorgeous in all ways possible to Satoru. To him, there was not a single flaw that he could see whenever he admired you. But, you weren't the brightest, academically speaking.

You'd much rather focus on other things, like the activities you enjoy; shopping for new clothes or lingerie sets you know you'll never wear , getting your nails done with friends or following new trends you'd see on social media just 'cause you can.

All that to say that anyone who took the time to study you like Satoru, knew that College really wasn't your thing.

But the habit of not taking any relevant notes, falling asleep during Professor Yaga's lecture's and barely getting over the minimum you needed to pass your classes had to stop.

Your professor's came to a decision and you needed a tutor.

Three weeks is all it's been, but gosh did it feel way longer for Satoru. When Yaga approached him, explaining your situation, he couldn't help the huge butterflies that were doing tricks in his stomach.

He thought tutouring you would be the best time of his life. I mean, why wouldn't he think that? He finally got the chance he'd been waiting for since high school; to talk to you.

But oh he was wrong, so wrong.

Not only did it seem like you weren't trying, but Satoru felt as though you were playing dumb, because he refused to believe that his sweet could be so utterly stupid.

⋆. 𐙚 ˚⋆. 𐙚 ˚⋆. 𐙚 ˚⋆. 𐙚 ˚⋆. 𐙚 ˚⋆. 𐙚 ˚⋆. 𐙚 ˚⋆. 𐙚 ˚⋆. 𐙚 ˚⋆. 𐙚 ˚⋆. 𐙚 ˚⋆. 𐙚 ˚

"Are you even trying?" Satoru asked you, watching you struggle on the easiest question he'd given you so far. You look up at him and he could've swore he saw tears forming in your beautiful eyes.

"I am, I'm just-"

"focusing?" He scoffed and you could hear his patience running thin. "You've said that for the past 5 minues."

You went quiet and finished the equation, handing the paper to Satoru. You sighed and watched as he scowled at the paper. That usually indicated that you'd gotten everything wrong, something you picked up within the first few weeks.

He rubbed his temple, your gaze lingered on his veiny hands, watching as the muscles flexed. You were thinking...thinking about what else those big hands of his could do.

But you were caught.

As you tried to make out the expression on his beautifully sculpted face, his beaming blue eyes found yours. You looked away immediatly, the air in the library suddenly became thick. And tension arose between the two of you.

You avoided his gaze as he went back to correcting, when your phone dinged. You went in, slowling bringing it up to the table when Satoru abruptly stopped you.

"If you'd let go of your phone for once, maybe you'd actually be focusing and getting something right." He said harshly, sliding the paper your way.

"I have plans, I can't just put them off." You bit back, ignoring the paper in between you too, to text your friends.

Usually, Satoru was a calm and composed man with a great amount of patience, but with you...

he felt like every little thing set him off.

It enraged him that you, this picture perfect girl, were willing to throw your future away for nothing, when you had the most potential he'd ever seen.

"Y/N, please put your phone down." He urged. his voice calm, calmer than he'd been the whole session.

" Waitttttt- What colour suits me best 'Toru? Pink or cherry red?" You ignored him, going on to do exactly what he hated most.

Big mistake.

Because now he had his cock buried deep inside of you as you sputtered meaningless apologies with tears in your gorgeous eyes. Your slick dripped down your plush thighs and you squirmed under satoru's strong hold on your hips.

"S-satoru, p-please...It's too embarassing." You whimpered, gripping onto the wooden table in front of you for support. You were trying your best not to make a sound, but he was making that impossible.

He refused to let you move, letting you feel him...all of him inside you. He brought a pen to your fingers with a smug grin on his lips. He loved seeing you all worked up.

"Solve the question baby. Then I'll fuck you so good, so good you'll be begging for more." He whispered in your ear, watching you struggle even more. He knew you could it, he had no doubt, he just hated seeing you willingly act so dumb.

"T-that's not fair." You moaned as Satoru brought his fingers down to your puffy clit. So cute. " Ngh-you're being mean-Agh." You bit back a moan as you finished up the question.

"Focus." He reminded you.

"The value of x is -134°." You let out in a breathless tone.

He smiled, he knew you were hiding some intelligence in that head of yours.

Without a warning, he placed his free hand on your lower back. From a far it looked like you were just siting on him but little did they know, under your skirt was his cock buried in the depths of your pussy.

He thrusted into you and your eyes rolled back. You moaned and he brought his soft lips to yours. "Be quiet, Did you forget where we are?" he said lowly, against you.

You might not know a lot but one thing you knew was certain, you were about to have the best fuck of your life.

[seven-supernovas]

𝐒𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐤𝐚 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐲 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐫

sevika x girly!reader - au ofc

ᥫ᭡only sfw hc's ᥫ᭡

cw: simply girly reader x sev, no gender markers, r! has traditionally feminine traits/hobbies.

✗ sevika swears she hates shopping. She states that one there are better ways to spend her time and two there are better ways to spend money. That's probably why she wears basically the same outfit everyday.

✗ sevika who enjoys shopping now but only with you. Because when you get excited about something you see in the shop it get her happy too.

✗ sevika who can't tell you what concealer is and why there are so many colors of them but will buy you the right ones.

✗ sevika who keeps at least two backups of all your favorite beauty products so when you run low she can just replace them. She thinks you don't know but you definitely do but to keep it up you'll just say things like; "I could've sworn I was almost out last week." just loud enough for her to hear.

✗ (poc/black!r specific) sevika who was once overwhelmed by the sheer amount of products at your local beauty supply store. But now deep into your relationship has become sort of friends with the store owner and employees. I'm pretty sure they know your name now only because of her.

✗ sevika who notices you like a charm jewelry like pandora charms and with randomly surprise you with new ones. Now you have two full bracelets.

✗ sevika who feels ichy and weirded out by makeup as she says its "Like putting on a second face." but will for sure sit down when you practice looks on her.

✗ sevika who pre-schedules all your appointments months in advance. She can't seem to remember to tie her own shoes sometimes but remembering your appointments is way easier for her.

✗ sevika who made google calendar solely to keep your appointments in order.

✗ sevika who understands that you don't tend to like outside activities but still convinces you to be outside with her at the very least.

✗ reader who researched the perfect products for sevika so she would have a proper skin care routine, rather than simply wetting her face with water.

✗ (long nail lover) reader who scratching Sevika's scalp with her long nails because even if she doesn't admit it sev loves it.

✗ (short nail lover) reader who always paints their own nails and also paints sev's nails to match.

✗ reader who spends an unreasonable time doing their hair and trying new styles so much so you've trained Sevika to help you.

✗ (black!r specific) reader who after spending sometimes 12+ in the salon chair getting fresh braids comes home to sevika running you a fresh bath.

✗ reader who buys sevika a shit ton of workout clothes and gear. In a year her gym clothes turned from baggy t-shirts and random things in her closet to almost exclusively alo and gymshark.

✗ reader who is constantly looking for pink and cutesie workout gear but always ends up with something black or dark purple in her cart to match your own.

✗ reader who learned to cut hair because sevika would just do it herself and you wanted to do it for her. Of course your kit is pink filled tho.

─── ୨୧ ────── ୨୧ ────── ୨୧ ───── ୨୧ ────

original masterlist

arcane masterlist

more sevika hc's

[hard-core-super-star]

cards on the table [L.Calderu]

pairing: lilia calderu x vampire!reader

summary: the morning after, you can't bring yourself to leave lilia again. instead, you let the desire you still feel for her take over.

warnings: SMUT, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT -> morning sex; mommy kink galore [because it's lilia, duh]; SO much biting [because vampires duh]; desperate switch!lilia is SO important to me; grinding; making out; unholy uses of magic; fingering; praise kink go brrr; lilia's boobs deserve their own warning fr; plot and feelings randomly thrown in because i can't write porn without it; so much banter

wordcount: 2.6k

a/n: HELLO! this part took longer than i planned but i'm really happy with how it turned out. i couldn't write vampire!reader without throwing some smut in before more plot 😌i'm having a lot of fun writing for lilia so i hope i've delivered. as always, my inbox is open and i hope you enjoy <3

part one |

* * * * * * *

When your eyes open, the first thing you see is the way the sunlight bounces off the ceiling. Unlike what most vampire myths said, you weren't afraid of the sun. At least not any more than a mortal with secrets made far too vulnerable by the light.

The second thing you notice once your eyes focus and your mind starts clearing is the comfortable weight settled on top of you. Reality's quick to crash into you after that.

For some reason, you had expected Lilia to be up and about by the time morning came. Even though she had made fun of you for wanting to run away, she was the same way. Actually, she tended to be worse. But of course, she would never admit it, preferring instead to throw the blame on you.

Seeing her like this, though, soft and vulnerable, reminds you why you hated leaving her in the first place. While you knew it had to be done, it didn't change how awful you felt about it. How lonely the years that have passed have been.

"How are you already so tense?" Her words break the silence and draw a sigh out of you. It really isn't fair how easy she can read you, even now.

"I'm just not used to waking up under a beautiful woman," you reply, the corners of your mouth tugging up into a lazy smile.

"I find that very hard to believe, sweetheart."

You suppress the urge to laugh and instead give in to the easy atmosphere. "Ouch, are you calling me a whore, Madame Calderu?"

The eyeroll you earn yourself is more worth it. "I'm calling you charming, my dear."

"Oh, my mistake."

She laughs, the sound rich and soft and capable of turning all your thoughts to mush in a second. "I've missed this."

You know what she means, but you don't allow yourself to linger on her words too much. A part of you feels undeserving. It wasn't like you didn't have good reason for leaving and yet…the guilt threatens to swallow you whole.

"Insulting me?" You ask as your fingers draw random patterns on her back. The fabric of her robe is thin enough for you to feel the warmth of her skin beneath it.

With a soft sigh, she lifts herself enough so she can stare down at you. The wrinkles in the corners of her eyes are as soft as her smile. "Laughing with you."

It's impossible to ignore the truth in her tone. "Yeah, I guess that's nice too."

"You guess?" She responds, attempting to sound offended. It doesn't work very well, though, since she's still grinning too hard. "You're a hard woman to please, my darling."

It's impossible to stop yourself from laughing at that. "You of all people should know that's not true."

Instead of instantly replying, she allows her eyes to drift down your face, lingering on your lips. You're not sure if she knows exactly what she's doing, but you do know you can't stop yourself from craving more.

And you can't even be mad at yourself for it.

You never even tried to lie about your feelings for her. Even after the visions, the prophecy, the knowledge that she'll be your undoing, you still love her. You've always loved her. How can you fight against that part of your fate?

One of your hands comes up, fingers slowly grazing against the side of her neck. The only thing left of your bite is the memory and yet she still shivers. Still leans into your touch.

"y/n," she whispers, her eyes fluttering closed for a few seconds. "You have no idea what you're doing to me."

"I find that very hard to believe," you reply, your voice just as soft as hers.

She lets out a soft huff of air, something halfway to a chuckle, before you steal whatever teasing words were on the tip of her tongue away with a kiss.

Despite how strong your longing for her has been, you still surprise yourself. You almost assumed you'd walk out of her life again without doing exactly what you'd been thinking about since you left.

Clearly, you're a fool in more than one way.

Your fingers move back to tangle in her hair and even though you try to keep yourself in check, you can't. You want more. Need her in ways that scare you and excite you at the same time.

Lilia pulls away from the kiss, her heaving breaths fanning across your lips. "I missed this too."

"I missed you," you admit, your face warming up exponentially.

It's dangerous to say it out loud, but there's no use in hiding. Not when her eyes can see everything you don't say. Everything you feel without meaning to.

"Yeah?" Her head tilts to the side, wide pupils scanning your face. "Show me."

You grin, sharp teeth poking out from under your top lip. "Gladly."

Your hands travel down her body in an instant and your fingers grasp the fabric of her robe. A laugh escapes her as you hurry to slip the garment off of her, shifting around until your lips can meet the exposed skin of her shoulders.

"Impatient as always, little one?" She questions, using her words to distract you from the way she's moving above you. It's subtle, but you can't ignore the feeling of her heat pressing against your thigh.

"Only when it comes to you."

You let your fangs graze her skin, dragging along her shoulder blade until she's shivering above you. The urge to bite her is far stronger than it should have been considering how much you'd drank the night before. Then again, your thirst for her has always been stronger than anything else. Including your common sense.

"Such a flatter," she mutters.

Her hands move to her robe, helping you get the rest of it off, while your attention is captivated by her warm skin. You sink your teeth into her shoulder, not hard enough to actually draw blood, but enough to feel the connection that thrums beneath your veins.

"And so eager too," Lilia hums.

There's no way you can deny her claim. Especially with the way your hands start exploring the newly revealed contours of her body. Your fingers trace the lines of her muscles, mapping out the freckles you can't see but know are there.

As much as it pains you, you remove your fangs from her without drawing any blood, focusing on her hunger instead of your own. "I'm not the only one, I think you're soaking my pants."

"Oh, very funny." Her voice lacks humor but her eyes dance with a mischief she was sure she'd lost years ago. "Maybe if you weren't so preoccupied with biting me, I wouldn't have to be doing all the work by myself."

"All the work- oh-"

Your question is answered by the way she shifts her hips, slowly grinding against your leg. One hand lands on her hip to steady her as she sits up slightly to get better friction. You move with her, rising into a slightly uncomfortable position just to latch your mouth onto her chest.

"There you go," she coos. "You remember what mama likes?"

You don't think you could forget if you tried.

Your lips wrap around one of her nipples, feeling it harden under your tongue. Her back arches into your touch and you can't stop yourself from letting your teeth graze her sensitive skin.

The noise she makes in response is more than enough of a reward, but then her hand tangles in your hair and pulls you closer. "Fuck, darling. You're so good for me."

Her whimpered praise sends sparks of electricity up your spine. Not even your own pleasure can distract you from your mission, though.

One hand stays on her hip, slowly guiding her movements when her hips stutter, and the other one comes up to toy with her other breast, lavishing both of her nipples with the attention you know she needs. If your mouth wasn't so busy, you would have teased her for how frantic her movements against you are.

And she was making fun of you for being eager.

"y/n," she whispers, her voice shaking almost as much as her thighs.

All you do is hum, biting down on her nipple just enough to hear her gasp. Her movements speed up and you double your efforts, flexing your thigh and pushing up into her as much as you can.

It makes you a little dizzy due to the proximity but you force your eyes to travel upward until you can take in the curve of her neck and her parted lips. The puffs of air she lets out sound more like whines than anything and you let them wash over you like a wave.

You wait until she starts muttering curses beneath her breath to move again. Your hand leaves her breast and glides down the front of her body, easily slipping under the waistband of her ruined underwear.

You detach yourself from her nipple only to trail kisses up the valley of her breasts. "Cum for me, mama, I know you need it."

Your fingers press against her swollen clit and you watch as her whole body shudders in response. It's the most beautiful sight you've seen in years.

You work her through her orgasm, feeling as she soaks your fingers and her underwear all in one go. It's sinful and delightful all at the same time.

When she slumps forward, worn and overly sensitive, you instantly wrap your arms around her waist and lie back against the couch once more. For a moment, it's like no time has passed at all. Like you managed to cheat both time and space just to be with each other.

As silly as it might be, you allow yourself the fantasy.

Your lips press against her temple as the two of you lay there, her head on your shoulder and her nose nuzzling your jaw. As hard as it is, you don't move. You don't dare break the moment.

Because you know once you do, you won't get to have her like this again.

The runes may be strong and the wards may pulse with life every time you make her heart skip a beat, but you're being hunted. And every second you spend with her only puts her in more danger.

You know that.

But then she's shifting again and her lips find yours and it's hard to think about anything else except her.

When she pulls away, you're both breathless, gripping onto each other like you're afraid you'll disappear. The helplessness that simmers beneath the surface is hidden well under desire and desperation, but you can still feel it. Thrumming to life after every kiss.

"You were so good for me, angel," she murmurs, almost like she doesn't want to risk breaking the moment by being too loud. "Let me make you feel good."

"Yes please," you reply as your arms wrap around her neck to keep her close.

To your surprise, she makes no move to make fun of you for how clingy you are and instead her arms move down your arms, caressing your skin like she's commiting every touch to memory. You don't doubt she is.

Once she reaches your shirt, she simply smirks down at you and with a flick of her wrists, your clothes dissapear. "Cute trick."

Lilia just raises an eyebrow at you, hovering over you with a borderline dangerous glint in her eyes. "Trick? Are you insulting my magic, little one?"

"Oh, I would never dare," you tease.

Of course, she doesn't believe you, and you honestly don't blame her.

"You just can't stop yourself from being a brat, can you?" Her question is completely rhetorical, especially considering her next idea.

She hovers above you, watching your face closely as one of her hands trails down your body to the heat eminating from between your legs. Her fingers part your folds, revealing your clit to her before she murmurs something ancient under her breath. You have no idea what she's doing…until you feel a sudden shock on your clit.

"Lilia-" you gasp, your thighs attempting to close.

She clicks her tongue in dissaproval as she lands a warning smack to your inner thigh. "Don't you dare close them, I'm just getting started."

Your cunt clenches around pure air at that and the pleasure sends another shock-like sensation through your cunt. You quickly realize you don't mind, though, as the pain morphs into unbelieable pleasure.

"Oh, fuck."

"You read my mind, baby."

You don't get anther second to react before two of her fingers are teasing your already sensitive clit, pressing down until your thighs shake and then moving down to gather your wetness on the tips.

She's absolutely playing with you and you can't find it in yourself to mind. Not when the way she toys with you feels so damn good.

"Please," you all but whimper. "More."

"Always so needy, it's adorable."

You whimper again and she finally takes pity on you, sliding those same two fingers into your wet cunt. It only takes a few thrusts and another well placed shock for you to near the edge.

"Mama- please-"

"Already?" Despite her teasing tone, she can't hide her excitment. "You wanna cum for me, sweet girl?"

You desperately nod, your hips bucking up into her without meaning to as you chase your incoming orgasm. "Yes, need it, please."

"I've missed hearing you beg like that. Go ahead, baby, don't hold back."

She doesn't have to tell you twice.

Your body instantly reacts to her, clenching uncontrollably around her fingers while her thumb plays with your clit. You cry out as your orgasm crashes into you and you're left whining and shaking underneath her.

She leans down to pepper kisses across your face, her tongue darting out to lap up the few tears that escape the corners of your eyes. "Always so sweet for me."

All you can manage are a few incoherent mumbles and she chuckles as she removes her fingers from between your legs. Another incantation is mumbled and the ache on your clit subsides.

"Better?" She asks, shifting around once more so she's on her side, arms bringing you closer to her.

You nod and mirror her, tucking your head beneath her chin and wrapping yourself around her warmth. "Did you melt my brain so I wouldn't leave?"

"Not on purpose," she replies with a laugh. "Does that mean you'll stay?"

You allow the question to hang in the air for a few seconds. There's nothing you want more than to stay. Not only are you technically still injured, you'll have to drink from her again soon or risk growing weak once more.

You know the risks, the ones that go beyond simply being a vampire in love with a witch. Between the Guild, your family, and the prophecy that looms over both of your heads…staying with her will do nothing besides bring you more pain.

And yet, the answer forms before you can stop it.

"Yes. But only because I'm still hungry."

Lilia knows you're lying, but she doesn't call you out on it. Instead, she simply holds you closer, her fingers tracing the area where you'd been stabbed by the Guild's hunter. "Just give me a few minutes, then we can get up."

You know she's lying too, but all you do is smile and burrow into her chest.

* * * * * * *

taglist: @p00ki3-m0nst3r

[borathae]

Boyfriends? | JJK x MYG

“Yoongi doesn’t do labels, while Jungkook loves labels. So one night, he asks Yoongi ‘what are we?’, hoping that the last four years together weren’t just casual for him.”

Pairing: Vampire!Yoongi x Vampire!Jungkook

Genre: established relationship!AU, Fluff, Slice of Life, slight suggestive themes

Warnings: just some anxious thoughts, this is a post sex cuddles scene, Koo being a little brat, Yoongi being a fond brat tamer, he tickles him hehe, snuggles & kisses, also! mention of blood drinking as part of his training to become a good vampire <3

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction based on an alternative fictional universe and does not correlate with any real life people. I do not support the shipping of the actual members.

Wordcount: 1.7k

a/n: i love sanguis!yoonkook so much :( omfg this hurt me because i just love them so much and my heart exploded :( istfg this break was so good for me, i have so many new ideas already heheh i can't wait to bring a very lore-y multi chaptered fic very soon hoohoh <3 but for now enjoy this lil yoonkoo fluff <3 also! whenever i write something for them just know that i am channeling hyyh!yoonkook 💔

Yoongi doesn’t define his sexuality. Neither his romantic attraction. He thinks that it is a rather stupid thing to do. He never truly understood the appeal of it nor felt it necessary to do.

“Why should I put a label on myself just so other people are satisfied?”

Because that is what it is for him. Satisfaction of other people. He should put himself into a box just so they can sleep better at night. Well, fuck them. Yoongi is way too old to live for strangers. He knows what he likes and other people can get fucked. They’ll find out who he likes when he allows it.

Jungkook defines his sexuality. And his romantic attraction. For most of his life, he felt like he didn’t belong. Into society, into groups, into life. So learning control and finally being able to be part of something again, Jungkook also feels it important to define who he is.

“I can finally be part of a group. I’m so happy.”

Because that’s what he is these days. Happy. A very happy bisexual man who doesn’t care about the gender of his lovers and who falls for personality.

And so it happens that “I hate labels”-Yoongi and “I love my label”-Jungkook are dating. At least Jungkook thinks that they are. They never really defined it – put a label on it so to speak.

But it must be that they are dating. After all, they are sharing a blanket as they are relaxing in front of the fireplace. They each only wear boxers and a tanktop which in itself is such an intimate look to share. The rug under their bodies is soft and heaps of pillows surround them.

Yoongi is using a few of them to keep himself propped up as he writes anecdotes in the book he is reading. Jungkook is lying on his tummy, watching the flames dance. Music is playing. Lofi hip-hop. Sometimes, he feels Yoongi’s fingertips dance down his back. It makes him shiver every time it happens. Jungkook feels exhausted, but he can’t fall asleep.

He flips his head to the other side, looking up at Yoongi.

The latter notices and gives him a glance. He runs his fingers through Jungkook’s hair, making him shudder in a good way.

“How is your head doing?” he asks.

“Heavy.”

“But no pain?”

He shakes it, “no, just so heavy. Hyung, it’s so heavy a-and I’m so tired.”

“Relax, bub. That’s normal.”

Yoongi is Jungkook’s mentor. Before Yoongi, Jungkook was unable to exist within the human world because he would have ripped through anything that breathed. With Yoongi’s help, he learned how to be normal again and because the road to perfection wasn’t finished yet, they used tonight to train.

“You are ready for the next step in mastering your urges”, Yoongi told him and then monitored Jungkook as he drank from a blood bag filled with human blood.

Up until this point, they merely trained with animal blood. At first Jungkook was very confused, “but I thought that I shouldn’t drink human blood? At all. Never.”

To which Yoongi assured him, “completely staying away from it, will only do the opposite. You need to learn how to handle it, so that if you accidentally drink it, you don’t become violent.”

With Yoongi’s reassurance, Jungkook choked down the blood deliciously and if it wasn’t for the older vampire, he would have lost control.

But he didn’t. Yoongi took his mind off of it in the typical, amazing way Yoongi often takes Jungkook’s mind off the bloodlust. And Jungkook wanted it. It felt so good. Quite frankly, he didn’t want it to stop.

Yoongi pulls his hand back and continues to scribble in his book. Jungkook is thinking. Yoongi calls him bub and bun and Kookie, but does it mean anything? Yoongi allows him to cuddle into him, but does he want the same? Yoongi fucks him, but does the sex even mean anything to him?

It has been two years since the world became peaceful and four years since they met and not once has this relationship been defined. Yoongi doesn’t call Jungkook his boyfriend. He calls him “my boy” or “my Kookie.” But never my boyfriend. What is he is just a good friend to him? What if Yoongi doesn’t want to put a label on them?

“Yoongi?”

“Yes, bub?”

“Are we dating?”

Yoongi lowers the book, “what do you mean?”

“Am I your boyfriend?”

Yoongi widens his eyes, blinking them in confusion.

“Why are you asking that all of a sudden?”

“Just feeling anxious.”

“Jungkookie, hey”, Yoongi softens his voice, “just relax. You’re okay, everything will be okay.”

“Please don’t avoid my question”, Jungkook insists anxiously. Is this it? Four years of intimacy, of building trust and bonding and it never meant the same to Yoongi?

“Of course you’re my boyfriend.”

Jungkook’s chest instantly stops tightening. His body tingles.

“You silly boy, do you seriously think I’m like this with someone I’m not dating?”

“You’re a really kind person.”

Yoongi chuckles, eyes soft in adoration. He pinches Jungkook’s cheek.

“You little bun, that’s not the same.”

“We never made it official.”

“I didn’t think it necessary. I thought it was pretty clear that we are dating once this”, he gestures between them, “became regular.”

“I guess, but I was thinking. About labels and how you hate them and yeah. I got scared that we aren’t official for you.”

“We are.” Yoongi pushes the pillows aside and lies down to face Jungkook. He tugs a strand of hair behind his ear. “If I’m not showing it enough for you, you have to tell me. I’m not good with reading signs or getting hidden messages. You gotta tell me directly what you want.”

“I know.”

“So? Do you want me to show it more?”

“No, you’re showing me that you love me. I think I just needed to hear it tonight.”

“I understand. You can tell me if you need that. You know me, I’m not gonna recite love poems to you on my own.”

Jungkook chuckles, “I know you, hyung. I think it’s cute.”

Yoongi grimaces. “If you say so.”

“I do. You are so cute.”

Yoongi chuckles, “you’re aware that I rearranged your insides just moments prior?”

“I know.” Jungkook closes his eyes and settles into the pillow. “Only cute people can do that.”

Yoongi laughs, “okay, okay you’re being an idiot. I get it”, he says, leaning in to kiss the shell of Jungkook’s ear.

Jungkook relaxes his muscles, enjoying the soft tingles rising all over his skin as Yoongi kisses every inch of his upper back. His face next. Jungkook rolls to his back so Yoongi can reach it better. Their eyes meet. Yoongi cups his cheek and kisses him. Jungkook seriously thinks that it feels so much better now that he knows it’s official. Every second, every moment, every touch exists to strengthen their relationship as boyfriends. Seriously, if Jungkook’s heart was still beating, it would race like crazy.

He giggles. Yoongi smiles.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing. I’m happy.”

Yoongi kisses him with a smile before he begins littering his face with kisses.

“I’m happy too, bub.”

“Oh, Yoongi”, Jungkook lets out and unable to control the surge of happiness, he shoots up to take Yoongi into the tightest hug human- and vampirekind has ever seen.

“Okay. This is happening”, Yoongi chuckles, letting it happen without hugging him back. It’s not because he doesn’t want to, but simply because Jungkook is squeezing his arms against his sides.

“I love you so much”, Jungkook giggles, shaking Yoongi from left and right.

“I love you too, but please stop that”, Yoongi laughs, head thrown back and bouncing around.

“No. You’re my stim toy”, Jungkook says and squeezes him tighter, making a cute sound for it.

“Whatever that is”, Yoongi laughs, taking the squeezing until it starts hurting. Then he begins to fight back. Softly of course, finally using his strength to shove Jungkook’s arms open.

“How are you doing that?” Jungkook gasps, trying with all his might to bear hug Yoongi again, but it is useless.

“I’m the strongest, remember?”

Jungkook’s back hits the rug, his wrists get pinned by one hand. Yoongi looks at him as if he wanted to take him to euphoria and back. Just for a second because then pure mischief burns in his eyes. Jungkook feels said mischief very soon as Yoongi begins tickling his sensitive side.

“No! Stop! Hyung please stop”, Jungkook squeals, laughing so loudly it bounces off the walls. He tries to fight his wrists free, kicking his feet helplessly. But it is useless. Yoongi is stronger and he is hellbent on getting Jungkook back for always being a little brat.

“Hyung I’m sorry”, Jungkook laughs, crying tears.

“Not enough”, Yoongi coos, changing sides.

“Ah! Please I’m gonna pee myself, stop! Please”, Jungkook squeals, laughing oh so much that his mouth truly cannot open any further.

“Mhm, alright”, Yoongi rasps and stops. He lets go of his wrists, sliding his hands to the smallest part of his waist to hold him. Somehow in their tickle match, Yoongi slid between Jungkook’s legs. They are thrown over his lap, resting their weight on him.

Jungkook recovers with little gasps and gulps. The first thing he does is wipe the tears from his blushy cheeks then he pouts at Yoongi.

“This was totally not necessary and very mean.”

Yoongi chuckles, “for all the bratting you did this week? It’s a mild punishment.”

Jungkook pouts harder, “I can’t help it. Besides, you’re too sensitive. I’m not even bratting.”

“Careful”, Yoongi squeezes Jungkook’s waist. The latter squeals and writhes.

“Sorry.”

“Better.” Yoongi smiles, bending down. His hands run along Jungkook’s torso until he has to rest them on each side of his head. “You’re so fucking pliable.”

“Hyung…” Jungkook sighs, melting into a puddle.

Like this. Underneath Yoongi and with his head foggy in feel good emotions, Jungkook gets kissed. He wraps his limbs around Yoongi and deepens the kiss. This might be one of the best nights of his life. He is his boyfriend. And now he is making out with him. This is the best night ever.

[is-it-malgendering]

I'm gonna take a mental health break for a short while I think. The discussion around transandrophobia is so so important but you can't let transandrophobes ruin your mental health.

Lately, because of the lingering effects of my childhood trauma, I've been having more flashbacks to upsetting and traumatic events. Whenever I was in conflict with my abuser I was gaslit and made to feel like I couldn't trust my own opinions and thoughts because I was always told my abuser was right and I was wrong. This led to situations where I had video and audio evidence of the abuse, witnesses to the abuse and diary entries in which I talk about the abuse - but still doubting whether any of it really happened because of the influence of my abuser and the trauma response which is to defer to other people's authority on things, even if I know they're wrong.

With regards to transandrophobia - it is 100% real and something I've dealt with many times. I have direct lived experience of it. But the vitriolic hate of transgender men and mascs and the disbelief in our oppression from others can be so intense as to trigger my traumatic response. I *know* what we go through is real. I *know* my mental health is lying to me. But nevertheless, it can be so easy sometimes to feel like I should just sit down, shut up and suffer in silence.

The erasure of transmasculine issues is so cruel. It makes even the most vocal and spirited of us feel insane and gaslit for experiencing direct discrimination for our transmasculinity. It is so draining and depressing having people vehemently shut us down at every opportunity.

It's why I deleted my old blog and remade a few years back. It's why I took a several-year break from posting in this tag. The way transmasculine mental health is ignored or belittled is horrifically cruel and unacceptable. Hell - even if the worst part of transandrophobia was simply being called slurs sometimes, it would still warrant opposition and require support for transmascs. Transandrophobia though is so much bigger than that - there is no "if" about it. Transandrophobia is a horrific type of transphobia that should be taken as seriously as transmisogyny and exorsexism.

So those of us who suffer from transandrophobia should be supported, not belittled. Given space to talk about our problems, not ignored or erased.

Because even if I feel gaslit by transandrophobes - I will never give up the fight to be heard and to advocate for my community's issues and needs. Even if I have to take long mental health breaks to accomplish that, I won't be cowed. I won't be scared into submission.

But I will need rest. I'll be back before you know it, but for now - if you post about transandrophobia - good work and keep going 🫡

[alexanderlightweight]

Hi!!!! I'm absolutely obsessed with your vampire malec and arranged marriage malec, and I'd love to read more if you ever feel up for it! sfw/nsfw hope you're having a good Wednesday<3

yeah i got way into writing this scene because it's the morning after they marry and this is where the drama starts to build. so i hope you enjoy. i say drama, i mean. like besides the heavy themes it's more like... mutual misunderstandings? but not in bad ways. i have no fucking clue how to describe this fic ever. it's like... both the misunderstandings and the truth lead to the same place so it's fine? and like the angst is... 'oh no i adore him and i can't trust him. i have to keep him so close that when he betrays me i can just cauterize the wound and keep him' and 'i'm going to prove how much i love him if i have to destroy the clave and also if i make him sad i will die' kind of angst.

<3 lumine

the bitter trap of truth

Magnus wakes with a nephilim in his arms.

It shouldn’t be a shock considering he married one less than twenty-four hours ago, but it’s still not something he expected.

The sex was supposed to be ritualistic.

In fact Magnus would have been fine just fucking on the floor — after all, hate fucking didn’t need a bed — or if things were civil enough he had a… well not a guest room perhaps. But a room prepared separately from his own for his nephilim spouse.

Except they did not fuck on the floor, or at least not yet.

And the sex they had wasn’t hate sex.

It was actually some of the sweetest, eagerest and most tender sex Magnus has ever had despite how enthusiastic and at times rough it got. And that’s not even considering how —without any effort on his part—  he had Alexander’s begging him constantly simply to keep touching him and kissing him and talking to him and well… Magnus has some thoughts to put in order.

Eventually.

Because currently, he’s not leaving Alexander here in his bed, alone.

Not because Alexander shouldn’t have access to his room unsupervised — monitoring magic has already been threaded through the entirety of Magnus’ lair — but because he doesn’t want to.  He wants to see Alexander wake.  He wants to see what those hazel eyes show during those first moments of rare unguarded emotions and the truths Alexander’s sleep-vulnerable body will tell him.

It’s obvious when his shadowhunter wakes up.

Alexander stiffens, he goes cold and hard in Magnus’ arms and just as Magnus is about to give up and let go and realize that last night was probably just Alexander being relieved at not having sex with a woman, his shadowhunter relaxes. 

It’s because he sees Magnus’ hand where it rests low on Alexander’s belly. With Magnus’ ringed fingers digging into the skin with a possessive intensity.

Long, calloused fingers cover Magnus’ own as Alexander gives a little sigh of content relief and then, pets his fingers over Magnus’.  He wriggles back too, gently and stealthily but he’s trying to get more skin-to-skin contact and the moment Magnus just gives in and pulls Alexander completely flush against him, his boy sighs with pleasure.

“You slept deeply.” Is the only thing Magnus can think to say, because aren’t nephilim supposed to be alert and wary and often go days without sleeping in enemy and hostile territory?

“You wore me out.” Alexander doesn’t sound upset, if anything he sounds gleefully pleased. “And I can’t imagine having trouble sleeping when it’s in your arms.”

Magnus really needs to get a handle on this.

Soon.

Because he’s about five more sentences from Alexander and marrying them the warlock way as well. Which would be incredibly irrational and foolish and irresponsible yet Magnus doesn’t want to let this go.

Whatever Alexander is planning. 

Whatever is going through his intelligent, beautiful mind, Magnus is going to figure it out. Whatever threats are the deadly thorns hidden by Alexander’s beauty, Magnus will neutralize them and he’ll keep Alexander.

Because he doubts very much that he can give this up now that he’s had this and it can’t all be faked.

Nephilim are hardly good actors and Alexander — despite his stoicism — is fairly easy to read.  Which makes it all the more confusing and harder to truly trust him.  However what Magnus can trust in is that Alexander is attracted to him.

That was clearly not something the Clave had planned and well, Magnus will use it to his advantage.

However he needs to and can.

—

Alec really doesn’t want to wake up.

He’s never felt this rested or this content and small moments of joy almost always mean something terrible is about to occur.  It’s about at that moment he registers another person in bed with him and his mind blanks in a blind panic.

It’s bad enough that he had to get married and drug himself into sleeping with a woman but to sleep peacefully and restfully next to her as well? Alec is about to bite off his own tongue because clearly, the aphrodisiac was more powerful than he thought and he is not dealing with this, until he takes one final inhale.

The scent of sandalwood and sex and sweat confuse him, because those scents comfort him even if they’re only newly familiar.  Like the memory of a dream and then fingers flex on his belly and he looks down with a sigh of desperate relief.

Magnus.

Some part of Alec’s sleep-muddled mind had thought he’d been a dream.

— how else could someone so amazing be possible? —

Magnus is the culmination of the desperate tangle of Alec’s deepest desires and hopes and it’s with euphoria that Alec tries to soak up as much of Magnus’ skin against. Sharing in the warmth of his husband — Alec is married and to a man — and he delights in it.

Magnus’ fingers twitch under his own, digging deeper into his skin as Magnus pulls him back, flush against him and so close that he can feel every exhale and inhale Magnus makes.

Magnus may be teasing him — Alec isn’t stupid, he can tell Magnus is confused and wary.

Except Alec is serious.

He doesn’t know how to get Magnus to trust him either.

There is no reason whatsoever for Magnus to trust him and it seems like the best way for Alec to prove his sincerity  — and just who he considers to be his priority — is simplyto be the best husband he possibly can for Magnus.

Alec might need a little while to get used to the sex. However that’s not a complaint. He just has a feeling it’s going to take some repetition before just being held by Magnus is no longer so overwhelming that he can’t think during it.

Eventually, he’d like to actually be able to form coherent thoughts while Magnus touches him. Instead of the puddle of pleasure that he’d been turned into.  Alec’s pretty sure his legs are still trembling when he shifts and somehow, that just makes him grin into a pillow that smells like Magnus.

“Aren’t you hungry?” Magnus asks, fingers petting over Alec’s skin and Alec is… Alec is frankly shocked that Magnus thinks Alec can think about food when Magnus is touching him.  Despite the fact that his mind is very aware of his priorities, his body betrays him as his stomach growls and Alec lets out a sigh and turns without thinking.

Magnus is beautiful in the afternoon sun and his eyes glow gold but as awestruck as Alec is, it’s all he can do to mutter a soft ‘wow’ before burrowing his face into Magnus’ chest.

It’s warm and comforting and he can hear his husband’s heartbeat and yes, fine.  Alec is hungry but he’s hungrier for this. It doesn’t have to be sex, just the warmth of Magnus’ body against his own and the relief of being married to a man seeping into his bones.

“Alexander?” Magnus asks a few moments later and Alec means to answer, he really does but he just nods his head against Magnus’ chest and finds that he very much likes the feeling and continues to do it, nuzzling Magnus until fingers are tangling in his hair and he’s being pulled back. “Don’t give me that look.” Magnus tells him, voice firm but not angry.  If anything Magnus seems bemused and his eyes are darker, the pupils larger than a moment ago.

—

Magnus really isn’t sure what Alexander is anymore.

He’s clearly not just a nephilim.

Magnus would assume he’s some highly trained honey-pot except, he’s quite frankly terrible at the pot part.  Oh, he’s sweet as can be and Magnus is going to savor him, but he also clearly has no idea what he’s doing and is more than happy to let Magnus not just take the lead, but direct everything.  If anything, he seems delighted by just being told what to do.  Except now, when he’s pouting at Magnus as if wriggling all up against Magnus wasn’t a clear attempt to delay both a meal and conversation.

Except when Alexander pouts at him, it’s hard to imagine that Alexander has any plan.  He doesn’t need one. His face is devastating enough that Magnus is sure wars would have been fought in his honor once upon a time.

“Food, darling.”

The pet name is an accident and Magnus has a feeling he’ll be making quite a few of those with Alexander but it earns him a pleased smile and the flutter of sleepy eyelashes when Magnus tugs on Alexander’s hair in reprimand.

Alexander doesn’t seem to be particularity picky.  Magnus had planned to leave his spouse to fend for themselves except… none of this is going as he’d expected and he wants Alexander close.  Not only for surveillance but well, he is a delectable view so Magnus isn’t complaining.

It’s when Magnus has finished summoning a decent spread of food that Alexander looks around the table and offers a polite thanks but there is little gusto in his appetite. If anything, he seems a little perturbed and while Magnus had made sure to summon some of the heartiest and heavily laden with meat dishes that he could think of, Alexander still seems dismayed.

Magnus would assume this is where the complaints begin — because every shadowhunter spouse has thrown a fit about their dietary needs being met — except Alexander’s not actually saying anything.  In fact he compliments almost everything he tries and even when it looks like he hates it, he still finishes it.  To the point where Magnus is beginning to feel like he’s torturing his boy rather than just, having a meal.

“Alexander, is there something else you’d enjoy eating? These are most of the dishes requested by nephilim spouses. I did do my research, but I realize that personal preference can vary.”

Magnus isn’t sure if he’s trying to comfort Alexander or remind him of who is in control.  At his question Alexander’s expression twists and then he pinches the bridge of his nose with a sigh.

“This kind of meat and nutrient dense diet is the same kind of diet a nephilim keeps to when they’re in enemy territory or at war, Magnus. It’s to help ensure all nutrients are met but with as little comfort or excess as possible. It’s to ensure we stay properly fit and in shape and without letting our guard down.”

Magnus isn’t surprised by the explanation.  If anything, it’s makes sense in the most ridiculous of ways.

“I however, would like waffles. The ones with chocolate and fruit, please.”

Magnus blinks. 

“That doesn’t sound like fare for war.”

“I’m married, Magnus." Alexander gently taps his bare knuckles against Magnus as if Magnus needs a reminder. "I’m pretty much retired from the Clave. My position as your spouse take precedent over my rank and by my vows, I answer to you. I'm on my honeymoon at this point. As considerate as it was of you to prepare what you thought I needed. Why would I eat my weight in boar when I could eat twice my weight in strawberries and waffles?”

Well… despite the fact that it’s still confusing and definitely not an argument any other nephilim has made, it does make a strange sort of sense.  Especially because the moment Magnus snaps away the food and replaces it with food from one of his favorite Belgian cafes, Alexander’s entire face lights up.

It’s like watching a chum being set out for sharks.

Alexander devours half a bowl of berries before he seems to remember to breathe and then, despite clearly wanting to eat the rest he offers them with a pout — a pout! — to Magnus.

Magnus takes one just to see how Alexander’s mournful expression turns into a different kind of hunger as he watches Magnus eat the berry and then, Magnus takes another and this time offers it to Alexander directly.

There’s no hesitation.

There’s no moment where Magnus has to wonder ‘why am I doing this? What the fuck am I thinking?’ because before his hand finishes reaching out, Alexander mouth is meeting him. His lips are soft around Magnus’ fingers and his teeth are gentle as they tease Magnus’ skin.

Magnus is left flushed and wondering how his thoughtless action backfired so spectacularly, only to find Alexander looking hopefully at him.

Magnus isn’t about to turn Alexander down. 

He’s just confused, because Alexander is the byproduct of two Circle members. He's only here because of his parents own sins and he has no reason to play nice despite it being a relief that he is. However not long ago, Magnus was at a political dinner when every piece of tableware a downworlder touched was destroyed after their use.  The assumption that the taint of them could not simply be washed away a slap to the face during an already tender time.

Magnus realizes that he’d half expected his hand to be slapped away but Alexander is waiting there, eager and excited and he’s waiting for Magnus to continue to feed him.

So Magnus does, reveling in the fact that Alexander seems to care for nothing more than each bite of sweet berry and the brief taste of Magnus’ skin against his tongue.

“Do you plan to only eat fruit?” Magnus manages to ask, offering another berry because well, what a way to go?

“Honeymoon.” Alexander tells him firmly, lips stained from juice and he’s quite tame like this.

All sleep soft and hair tousled and he’s Magnus'.

Magnus isn’t sure how to handle it at all.

“I realize you don’t intend to restrict yourself to the same meals of the other nephilim, but surely you need to eat more than berries and chocolate?” The waffles Alexander had requested are barely touched and it’s with a gleeful suspicion that Magnus cuts a piece of his own, eats it and then offers the second bite to Alexander. Who eats it with a tired sigh of contentment, though his eyes still wander to the fruit.

But by Edom he is going to successfully keep Alexander if he has to dismantle the entire Clave to do it.

AN:

and we start to see some of the layered context here.

Alec woke up thinking Magnus was a dream and he was in his own personal nightmare and yes, he was about to bite through his tongue before he realized it was Magnus. like he was about to say 'screw the clave i can't deal with this' and then he was like 'oh.. oh. well thats fine, we're still screwing the clave. or well, messing with them. since i'm only screwing magnus'

-

magnus: this is a trap, i want to figure out the truth so i can make it real. he's mine. that's the rule. he's mine. i'll just spring and neutralize the trap but either way i'm keeping him.

alec: hi. i just met you. and this is crazy. i'm your husband, i love you maybe definitely.

magnus: ... he's been drugged. clearly. but also he's adorable and pretty and i'm both lucky and doomed.

-

alec: okay. i have to be polite... this is so awful. why is he feeding me wartime rations? like... what did i do? does he hate me? is this because i fell asleep during sex? does he think i need better stamina? because i think having more sex will lead to better stamina over this awful food

magnus: ... you don't like it?

alec: ... uh no. it's fine? it's great? i just you know, want comfort honeymoon i'm celebrating party food? since this is the happiest time i've ever spent in my life? the war rations are kinda killing the mood

magnus: i feed you a berry, haha you probably wont even let me what was i thinking-

alec: okay. so now you have to hand feed me. the rest of the meal. this is a couples thing. i distinctly remember reading about something like this.

(Alec is convinced magnus is being romantic. Magnus now thinks its a kink thing. Alec is just really intimacy starved and Magnus is his husband? what's wrong with being romantic and intimate with his husband?

also in my headcanon alec is autistic. all the verses. so you have to remember that even as a nephilim, he's a super unreliable narrator for even his own race because the way he interprets stuff might be completely different to the typical reality/knowledge. Alec thinks he's doing the best job flirting and wooing his husband. like, he's trying so hard.)

magnus mentally: is he a baby bird? how bird like are nephilim? i'm confused and concerned.

Magnus five seconds later: oh... oh it's a kink thing. oh he didn't know this about himself either. okay. this is delightful. im pleased. i'm so fucking pleased.

Alec: this is like, pure euphoria. i'm getting attention and care and he's so sweet to me even though he has no reason to be. i have to be the best husband for him. forget raziel, my mission is to be Magnus Bane's Husband.

Alec finding the 'spare guest room' at one point

magnus: this is... well it was. it's supposed to be... at one point it was. well it's your room, technically.

alec: ... oh. do you want me to start sleeping in here then?

magnus: ...

alec with a blank face: its a nice color? the bed looks comfy? ... oh it even has its own bathroom. (the implication for him is that he will no longer get to bathe and shower with magnus)

magnus: NO I DO NOT WANT YOU MOVING INTO THIS ROOM. I WANTED YOUR OPINION ON MAKING IT A WORKOUT ROOM.

alec: oh well, i'm fine just using the roof, Magnus.

Magnus: Alexander. you need a space. of your own.

Alec: *sad eyes*

Magnus: ITS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD!!! YOU DONT HAVE TO STAY IN IT JUST YOU NEED IT.

Alec: but then you might think i'm hiding things from you?

Magnus: ... alexander. darling. my very strange and still confusing husband whom i adore but also do not trust through no fault of your own... i'm giving up. *snaps fingers and dissolves the room into the magic of the lair*

-

Magnus seeing Alexander sneak over to his jewelry box only to watch him just try on rings.

but only on a specific finger.

Magnus realizing Alec is fantasizing about wearing one of Magnus' rings on his ring finger... his wedding finger.

Magnus: oh no. oh no. no, magnus. magnus be strong. be strong magnus.

3 hours later

Magnus: Alexander, this is just a little something i made in some spare time since i've last seen you... on a whim.

Alec staring at the little initials of MB on the ring with little catseye gems and just kind of, sighing. that dopey kind of grin he gets like when he first met magnus in canon? and just offering his hand, like excuse me. the finger is still empty? magnus this is mean if you're being slow on purpose.

Magnus putting the ring on and then finding himself sitting on the couch with Alexander on his lap admiring his ring as he forces Magnus to equally admire it and then very deliberately takes a picture,t transfers it to his tablet and sends a very long and detailed email about the symbolism of the ring and how much is means to him and that he hopes the clave appreciates his hard work and efforts in furthering relationship with the downworlders.

(Magnus nearly chokes on his drink twice before he just chugs it and waits to make another until alexander is done with the email).

Alec is like... half serious and half fucking with the Clave. he's not wholly honest about all of the symbolism in the ring. just the obvious ones. and he also adds in code (which magnus can also read)

tonight is going to be better than my wedding night

Magnus breaks two lamps with magic he laughs so hard, because 1) thats true and 2) the clave is going to be horrified by the entire thing.

no,. magnus still does not trust alec. because alec has to have some kind of an agenda but he's also... starting to let more of himself thaw. there is this huge push and pull because it's hard for magnus to trust (for good valid reason honestly magnus is being unreasonably generous with his trust and faith in alec) and alec gets that.

like yes, sometimes alec will sulk or be sad because it sucks that magnus doesn't trust him. but hes not going to get mad because if he were in magnus' position, he wouldn't trust himself either. and he likes that Magnus is competent and smart, as much as it sucks for him, it's also part of why he admires magnus and alec knows magnus cares for him. he can't tell how much, like he's very unsure of his place in magnus' life besides the fact that magnus likes to fuck him and talk to him and sometimes pamper him and protect him and also is pretty possessive of him and likes to take care of him.

(alec is a bit oblivious but to be fair, while he has hope for the future he is not going risk assuming magnus likes/loves him because alec knows trust is a part of that and that rn, it's still impossible for magnus to trust him)

-

Magnus to Cat: look i know you said that people need their own space for privacy and that if i want to be able to trust him or figure out what he's hiding i need to let him have the space to fail, but it's like he doesn't know the words exist

Cat: uh-huh

Magnus: he added my thumbprint to his phone and clave issues tablet

Cat: ... wait, what?

Magnus: he doesn't even try to hide doing things i shouldn't know he's capable of! he just does them and then waits for me to mention it and then what am i supposed to do? scold him?

Magnus: apparently all nephilim who marry out are supposed to send two correspondences. one in code and one normal. he TAUGHT ME THE CODE BECAUSE AND I QUOTE 'SECRETS ARENT HEALTHY IN MARRIAGES'

Cat: ... i can't even argue with that when your spouse is the literal enemy and i don't know why i'd want to. is this a new tactic?

Magnus: ... i'm not sure but i'll call you back later. alexander takes champagne and strawberry dates very seriously and he's currently handpicking them from the roof and he just finished.

Cat: how much surveillance magic do you have on him?

Magnus: what do you mean 'how much'? you think there are limits? oh no, he's going to think i'm ignoring him. he knows i'm watching him dammit. i cannot handle his sad eyes again. bye.

Cat to a silent phone: i think i need to call Ragnor

[justnamedjosie]

i'm honestly so relieved to see so many people actively defending ragatha due to the latest episode.

after watching ep 5 i immediately had the feeling people were going to hop on the ragatha hate train, she's a well written female character who has normal human flaws just like the rest of the members of the circus, she slips up and says something insensitive to jax about whatever incident that caused jax to lose his friend (which by the end of the episode she owns up too and apologizes for by the way), yet people saw this and instead of being like "wow this character made a mistake and apologized for said mistake because nobody is perfect and everyone slips up and says something mean every now then, wow she's such a real and complex character!". we got "she's the devil incarnate".

like please get me to understand why you guys HATE this girl, these fans are literally repeating the same behavior that they showed towards pomni and gangle. it's a very uncomfortable pattern i'm seeing in this fandom of female characters being ripped to shreds for simply having flaws, like any well written character would have. and then seeing the male characters (mainly jax obviously, though i have seen the same behavior with caine a bit) be excused of literally any fault of their actions because of whatever reason they can pull out their asses at any given moment.

like no, jax shouldn't be justified or in any way excused for his behavior towards the other members just because he has issues. if that's the way these fans think then i'm honestly surprised they don't give ragatha the same treatment. like i'm not saying that any of the characters shouldn't be held accountable for their mistakes just because they have problems, hell no. i'm saying after learning that ragatha grew up with an absolutely awful mother, which would definitely explain her people pleasing behavior towards everyone, that those fans would be a lot more empathetic towards her, but i guess not.

i truly don't understand. like i love jax as much as the next person, but i can acknowledge that he's not a good person and his treatment of the others is wrong, no matter what he's internally dealing with. his issues that are slowly being revealed to us EXPLAINS his behavior, but absolutely doesn't excuse it. so it truly boggles my mind that ragatha can make these mistakes (which are so much smaller than what jax has done to others) and she's immediately deemed horrible and unforgivable. make it make sense.

at best it's simple favoritism over their favorite character that can do no wrong in their eyes (which in the process they completely mischaracterize them) and at worst it's blatant misogyny. i truly don't know what else could explain the influx of hate towards ragatha. it's okay if you don't like ragatha, not everyone will like the same character. it only gets frustrating (to me at least) when these people hate a character for something that isn't true in the slightest and that they completely made up.

the silver lining to come out of this is personally i've seen more ragatha defenders than these fans. i'm glad there are people who actually understand her character and can appreciate how well written she is! ragatha has made her way into being one of my favs on the show, and i can't wait to see where her character will go from here.

(also this isn't supposed to be a jax hate post or anything, like i said i love jax. i just really dislike how the fans have been treating him and by proxy ragatha as well.)