#i knew you existed without knowing you
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has anybody told you about the kidnappings in enstars yet. like theres a lot of kidnappings that happen in and around yumenosaki/ensemble square
#this is a lot of information and i don't know how to process any of it#like. what.#what do you mean they waterboarded yuta#what do you mean izumi has a crush on makoto shav said izuleo was canon#i cannot emphasize enough how much shav has made me think izuleo is a thing#i don't even think they're separate people they are just izuleo to me.#also i need to mention that i know you as 'mar and shav's friend' and nodded at you from across the room that is tumblr and like#i knew you existed without knowing you#so this is a HELL of a first impression + first interaction#this is also a hell of a thing to wake the fuck up to#every day i learn enstars lore against my will
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What do you think as Hermione's career would be post battle of Hogwarts? To me her being minister for magic really doesn't make sense. She does not have patience or tact to wade through murky waters of politics 😭😭
So hard to say! The Trio are so, so young when we leave them, I find it almost impossible to project their futures farther than a few years out. The job that suited me at 17 would be radically unsuited to me now. That's why of all the Trio, Ron's ending strikes me as the most realistic — he jumps straight into the save-the-world business again, burns out, realizes he's actually Done The Fuck Enough, Thanks, and pivots into a low-stress career where he gets to see his family a lot. Feels accurate! The others are weirder to me because they do seem to just... pick a lane and stay there.
With Hermione, you could spin her a couple ways. You could say that she leans into her bookish side and does research or teaching, which is not my preference for a couple reasons (namely, I don't think Hermione would like academia as a profession; she finds her classwork interesting and enjoys intellectual validation, but she'd be stifled and wasted in a DPhil program, and she'd be infuriated by the administrative politicking of your average higher-ed faculty). You could say that she gets disaffected with politics and ends up as a barrister or a lobbyist of some kind, but if anything that requires more political finesse, because you don't actually have institutional power, you're just handling the people who make decisions and trying to persuade them of your goals. This is not Hermione's preferred method of influence. She's not even particularly good at persuasion, she just happens to be smart enough (and right often enough) that people take her ideas seriously.
Or you could say her brashness fades with the years into a softened flavor of tell-you-like-it-is honesty, which some politicians actually do successfully trade on; as we see in British politics today, you don't have to be all that charming or clever to get ahead, you just need to be really driven and well-connected (which Hermione completely is; she fought shoulder-to-shoulder with the first postwar Minister and her bestie, the Literal Messiah, runs the Auror Office.) But I don't know if Hermione especially wants to be Minister, after the war. She's just watched years of horrendous bureaucratic incompetence plunge the country into a violent civil conflict. She's had not one, but two Ministers of Magic try to bully or shame her friends into complicity with fascism. Her view of government is... likely extremely dark.
But Hermione also isn't the kind of person who sees her life as a quest for happiness. Babygirl has a savior complex that makes Harry look selfish. (She basically kills her parents — yeah, obliviating is a form of murder, #changemymind — "for their own good," and justifies every batshit, vindictive, mean-spirited move she ever pulls on the grounds that it "helps" one of her friends.) She is a mean, lean, dragon-slaying machine, and she needs a dragon. After Voldemort, the Ministry is the no. 1 threat to muggle-borns and non-wizarding Beings. As a war heroine with basically infinite political capital, I'd be surprised if she didn't try to do something there. That said, Hermione is so vivacious and dynamic that she could potentially grow in a hundred different directions; it's possible that all of this, while true of her at 18, becomes completely inaccurate by 22. That's why I'm not too fussed about any particular fanon interpretation.
#greenteacup asks#sidebar: I know Minister “of” Magic is an Americanism but mea culpa#Someday I might actually bite it and pay someone to britpick Lionheart but I can't do it now#because I have a ban on editing published fic unless it's finished. Otherwise I'll never get around to writing the actual ending#I have a Process#is it the best process? likely not! but it makes the words go. so here we are.#I also think the fact that JKR is Gen X makes a difference here. careers worked differently in the 80s and 90s than they do now#i.e. we have the gig economy and a lot more mobility and EXPECTATION of mobility in your early life#that means career changes & professional pivots through your 20s and 30s are increasingly normal#and in fact have always been normal — but the image of the 'true' or 'ideal' career has changed#so we look at those careers and go hm. really? none of them changed?#none of them even went to uni? do wizards... just not?#but again. I believe the epilogue was written almost completely without consideration as to what happened between the BOH and then#I really believe that JKR did not know what happened to Harry except a wedding and 3 kids. because that was the whole point#I don't think she even knew what his career was when she wrote that scene#It existed to marry everyone off and do a quick munchkin headcount#because of the understandable temptation as an author to keep your hand on the wheel. but it didn't even matter!#the epilogue changed NOTHING! it was the most useless chapter in the series! I just — GOD#you can absolutely accuse me of being sour grapes about my ships getting nixed. I AM sour grapes. I AM a hater.#AND I have plot/theme/craft reasons for disliking it.#I'm not objective. I just want credit for being a sophisticated hater. my grapes may be sour but they're still artisinal.
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/ I've noticed that at this point I'm not even writing on any blog anymore, I just come and yell about some blorbo and leave. Rinse and repeat my lieges
#;ooc#ooc#me: -sleeps-#also me: -SUDDENLY JOLTS BACK AWAKE- I haven't expressed my love for x in some time#/usually i would feel pretty guilty about this! but lately i've been zoning out in the sense of just vibing#/im not dropping writting; im just doing something else ! when i feel the inspiration i'll drop by#would like that to come soon; i do miss writting hehe#the power a blorbo can have on a person can be a very profound and moving energy truly-#recently one of my 8376733 m.octezuma fanarts got reblobbed from some artists from aaaall across to japan and#it made me feel so giddy like!!!! no way you also like this one character that isnt even on the game!?#i haven't seen other artists being obsessed over him! he's kind of forgotten in the lb cast; it was so fun reblobbing each other's posts!#we may have a language barrier but we all love m.octe and i find that to be a lil heartwarming moment#it made me thonk;; there are so many ways to bond with people; of connecting in general#even without speaking to someone directly; there is a bond there#like i knew this existed; but experiencing it again makes u go like waow! im not alone ! not in at least one (1) way!#that there are other people out there in this big big world that would enthusiastically talk to you about the same fictional character you-#like; with a lot of love and interest#i've seen people making their own t.ezca and d.aybit plushies and putting them in cute lil clothes#or people posting about museums they got interested on visiting bc they've done a collab with f.go#its all very cute to me#its like the same energy i saw from this tktk where two girls randomly met on the street#and saw that they both had the same ita bag and they got all happy and started laughing together#or that time i was selling my stickers and someone came in and said how glad they were to find h.ypmic stuff!#if hy.pmic is quite niche nowadays; its even more from where i live!#or how excited i get if i meet someone who also plays id.v#its all a cycle of fangirling; pure joy; connections are so important!#important to know that whatever you are facing; that no matter how 'weird' you think you might be; there are a lot of people out there that#are like you and me; and its also why i like roleplaying#its like we all pull our blorbos and talk about them and get excited about it all like dolls#the sweet thing about rping is precisely the part where u connect with others
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the closest ill ever get to being a pick me girl is the joy that fills me when the chefs at work so clearly favouritise me. like im there nicely cleaned up in my smart-casual uniform just a 20 year old waitress smiling my customer service smile and behind me spawns Scary Dog Privilege 10x in the form of several burly middle-aged chefs at least three of which have criminal records and would all stick a bread knife in someone for bothering me
#like it's really funny bc i worked HARD with back of house bc i knew my job would be significantly easier if they liked me#(it speeds your orders through. you can ask for things without being told to fuck off during a rush. they'll get you food on shift etc)#and also there's a stereotype especially in fancier places where floor staff look down on kitchen staff and i think that's shitty#so i was always going to be try with them and be nice but ALSO when i first started my job it was in a peak era so while these days#we're struggling a lot and have had to employ a lot of college kids that dont know what they're doing#when i joined it was all private school girls that would swan about the place very snootily. so the divide between front and back of hosue#was INTENSE when i joined. and there i was a little state school girlie and the chefs immediately recognised that#and took me under their wing. so even though the class angle doesnt exist so much anymore and theres majority state schoolers#im still very much in with the chefs in a way not many of the other floor staff are. and there's also the fact im not scared of them#like chefs ARE rude and a lot of them DONT like or even respect floor staff but i will GLADLY tell them to fuck off if i think it necessary#and that's a language they understand like ironically there's one chef that doesnt get on with ANY of the waitresses#(i talked about him on another post he's the soup one) but he likes me bc when he tried that rude dismissive act i told him to shove it#and now the other waitresses literally SEND ME TO TALK TO HIM when they have questions/want something bc they know he'll listen to me#and me and the head chef are besties and the one kp will talk OVER THE OTHER WAITRESSES' heads and completely blank them#so she can talk to me and it's all just really funny bc the kitchen staff LOVE me and that's not even me being arrogant#it's like a known thing at work that they love me and im just. a 20 year old 5'2 waitress with my little pearl necklace and blouse#and some tattooed ginger mohawked 6ft chef is there getting angry for me when i come in complaining about a table#or the kp that is literally on probation will give me a sticky toffee pudding and tell everyone to leave me the fuck alone LMAO#hella slaves to capitalism
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chiaki is such a good and interesting character. wish she was in a better game
#personal#do you ever wish danganronpa was better gkdjfjskkfks#literally the only interesting thing that the anime ever did. To Me. was make chiaki a real person#because if you just take the game on its own its basically. she was just a computer program. you cared about a person who wasnt real.#hajime fell in love with a computer isnt that fucked up#but. with the added context of her being a Real Person who Existed. and the reason the program looks like her is that deep down#they all just Wanted Her Back. like that fuckin HURTS DUDE#her death was the last straw it was the final thing. that grief is what drove them all into despair in the end#fuck the brainwashing bullshit. losing chiaki broke them.#like so few of them had anyone in their lives that just. unconditionally cared. without any strings.#but she Did. she loved them all so much. she wanted them all to be so happy. for themselves#and then junko drove them all into their own heads. and then she took chiaki away from them.#no wonder they didnt give a shit about anyone else’s lives. if this is a world that can take something as unconditionally caring and bright#as chiaki nanami and Break Her and Tear Her Apart and Throw Her Away. it doesnt deserve kindness. fuck humanity.#its definitely something they all have to reckon with for a Long time going forward#like. junko haunts the halls of the island’s facilities. but so does chiaki.#not nearly in the same way but shes there all the same#theres definitely a time early on when they finally feel up to talking about her and the other four are discussing who she was before#the Real chiaki yknow#and hajime has to be like. No I Know She Was Different. I Knew Her Too.#and just him having to tell the others that chiaki was basically his only friend when he was in the reserve course#they really have to mourn her twice. fuck dude
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i finally caught up on story quests...
i saw so many spoilers and thought i knew what was gonna happen, but NONE OF YALL MENTIONED THE PLOT TWIST WAS THAT AL FONTAINIANS ARE OCEANIDS WTF
oh my god when i say my pre-modern day lore obsessed brain started whirring like a broken ceiling fan at the implications
also THE BIG FUCKING SHIP OH MY GOD THE BIG FUCKING SHIP WAS SO COOL I LOVE YOU HOYO I LOVE YOU HOYO I LOVE YOU HOYO
#spoilers#i have forgiven hoyo for everything because of BIG FUCKING SHIP#also it's really funny that wrio has 2 ships he's really into (the actual ship and the two inventors who worked on it)#also oh my god the story#the dialogue writing is still bad but oh my god i was so into the story i kept playing without using autoplay so i could read#i havent been this into a major quest since zhongli's quest where you go into the spooky domain of the dead salt god#also i have so many thoughts about furina posts i read before now and i know the most obsessed of yall dont get her at all smh#also i read a really good fic this morning and now i have so many neuvifuri parallel and identity thoughts now#also: people who insist the tag should be foca//llette are fake furina fans bc she spent so long pretending to be her and now shes free#and yall are out here STILL insisting she should use that name for her ships smh#focalors the oceanid was not the same person as focalors the god#focalors the oceanid turned god (aka focalors 1) split herself into a god and a human#the god decided to take on the name focalors as well (aka focalors 2) and the human became furina#furina had to pretend to be focalors 1 NOT focalors 2 bc nobody even knew focalors 2 existed#has inuyasha identity philosophy taught yall nothing
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like im just saying they should invent a family that doesn't make you want to kill yourself
#and a school system while theyre at it#or just a me that wouldn't make me want to kill myself#just like. without all the problems that make it impossible to exist in normal society as myself#i know technically its possible for me to have a future but goddammit i dont see one okay#i havent made a single goddamn real life connection since middle school and now we're so distant i barely remember whos who on discord#thats not to mention how I've just been on the edge of every friendgroup anyway. including that one#im just some fucking loser. im not going to fucking graduate my only career aspiration is a goddamn pipe dream and if i dont fucking kill#myself by then im going to be stuck living with my family forever and we're not going to be seeing eye to eye.#all ive ever done is dig myself a deep grave and then tether other people to me to drag them down too#i love you all but i dont know how you see me as anything but gross and annoying and weirdly fucking clingy okay#i just#i dont know what im fucking doing#i wish i did. i wish i knew but i dont. and it feels like everyone else has figured out how things work and im just supposed to do that too#but i cant. i fucking cant and it keeps getting worse and i keep getting worse and i keep making it worse for my family while im at it#i miss being able to imagine doing stuff tomorrow. or in an hour#i miss being able to wash the dishes and not having to think about stabbing myself with fucking cutlery#i miss being able to show my mother my report card#but its my fucking fault im in this mess in the first place#and i just cant fucking try enough. or at all#aethers rants#cw vent#cw sui ideation#personal posts and stuff idk
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hm
#not to get too real on main but it is 11pm and i am Inhebriated on account of i just found out what a french 75 was (they fuck)#ever since like. probably my sophomore or junior year of high school i've hated my natural hair color#bc i thought it made me look too much like my mother#so i would bleach it or do fun colors but always eventually come back to cali girl bleach blonde (tm)#with the understanding that like. i do not know that woman do not associate me with her#but now current events (read: last saturday) have provided me the realization that i don't think we would've like. been cool#i hadn't actually realized there was such a large part of me that operated on the assumption that i would've been friends with her#like oh me and my dad disagree on something fundamental? well that's fine because i would've had someone in my corner. she would've#been on my side. but i think the part that it has taken me so long (7 business days) to come to terms with is that like#no. no you would not have gotten along with her actually#maybe she didn't even think queer people should exist#it's not fair. it's not fucking fair that she didn't even get to hate me to my face. i just have to GUESS?#but i can't fucking ask anyone that knew her without coming out to them too. and like. idk. idk idk idk#it's very late and i'm very drunk
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thinking 'bout how the lads interact with what the bracelets represent, especially in their decks
#marwospeaking#Yuuya is by far hardest to work with on this because he Varies. but that might just be him being opposite to Yuzu so it might count?#anyway Yuuya is a bushfire made by fireworks set off without proper precaution (the improperly set off fireworks being Zarc..#.. being influenced into the position that made the lads through his desire to both destroy and entertain his crowds)#It's small sometimes. but in the right conditions is an unstoppable conflagration#Yuuto literally does not die. In a world where we never truly get the other two (Yuugo and Yuuri) interacting with their host (Yuuya)..#.. outside of duels. he very much does. He is undead in a way the others don't quite match (pre Zarc revival) and it's opposite to..#.. En Bird's life (assuming it counts death too as part of its cycle)#Yuugo uses machine monsters - things that distinctly don't breathe. and in most cases have exhaust pipes billowing fumes#and machines can be warm to the touch at times. which you could feasibly slide against Rin's Windwitches for being Very Cold Ladies#Also he's trapped no matter where he is. Neo Domino has a stronger grip on him as a person than anyone else. and when he might finally..#.. escape that. he's trapped in someone else's body with no canonical recourse. because the story ended on Yuuya's terms and no one elses#Yuuri is hardest to place but I think he's very stationary. Sere's monsters are dancers - constantly moving - and she's very able to#adapt as she goes despite how stupid she can be book-wise. Yuuri is rooted into his role. even when he discards his loyalty his role was..#.. always in Zarc's interest no matter if he knew or not. The Professor's loyalty from him is an add-on to that#... I'd argue Zarc cared more about his pieces than Ray cared about hers also? He made cards for them on the fly so they'd Win#Even in moments where that victory is not in a wholly positive light - Odd-Eyes Raging and Gatlinghoul - but we know he's capable of it..#.. a la allowing Yuuya to debut pendulum monsters on his behalf in order to win against Ishijima#something something this can then apply to the other lads. they never lose except to each other and Ray's girls (at least on screen)#Yuuto survived 3 years of war. even despite Yuugo and Yuuri showing up. so methinks Zarc must've had a role in helping him survive#Like. Zarc's distinctly present for his Lads. Ray's not present for her lasses until one of them speaks through her#Sure it's very possible that's a bracelet thing - they are floodgates at the end of the day - and not a Ray thing. but it also wouldn't..#.. surprise me given Ray is an Akaba. we know they will sacrifice others for a gain later on - Ray's was sacrificing a whole world to make.#.. a safer one for everyone to live in. irrelevant on if they remember it or if they never existed originally. Except Leo Akaba. He does#(with memory reading tech) and it tortures him the whole time. she didn't mean to hurt him but Still#Zarc's distinctly not better than Ray - he's still broken wide open when it comes to his hatred of humanity (but not his human half)#and it resulted in multiple near-deaths the second time around - but I can't say Ray's that much better if it turns out the bracelets..#.. weren't floodgating her ability to help her lasses#Completely unrelated but. I don't like what Arcray represents ngl. makes it seem like Zarc could never move on with the help of his lads#and has to rely on someone who killed him and sent him to purgatory about it in order to heal.
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The funny thing about playing BG3 right after its release is like. Usually with RPGs I obsessively look up the dialogue for every interaction to make sure I choose the Right Thing but since this game just came out those kinds of guides just... don't exist yet. Like sure I can look up general walkthroughs for different quests, but there's not any articles detailing the approval/disapproval rating for every character on each individual dialogue option like there is for, say Dragon Age, so I'm having to actually fuck around and find out for once
#rambling#my urge to research all the dialogue choices before picking anything is bc of the autism im sure#when you live a life where its very difficult for you to know the right thing to say and you often get misinterpreted#its nice to have a break in a fantasy world where you can know exactly how youll be interpreted and be confident you chose Correctly#if these resources already existed for baldurs gate i would 100% be doing the same thing rn#(even tried a few times with no luck lol)#but since they dont... im actually like. playing the rpg as an rpg for once. and im having FUN with it too#figuring out my characters voice from the perspective of what they would say instead of the outcome i want them to get#making choices with the same knowledge they have about the situation instead of acting as some sort of omnipotent puppeteer#its funny that its taken me this long to just. play a game normally ahdjsksk. and really im doing it against my will. but i like it!#this is also the first time ive actually played something right after it came out#usually i end up waiting like months or years after the hype dies down before i get into it bc i just keep putting it off#playing a new game as it comes out without like a librarys worth of wiki articles to reference is an entirely new experience for me lol#who knew it could be fun?#(AN: the answer is Everyone Who Is Normal)
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Hello "use Firefox" entities. If anyone would have fun expanding upon the suggestion, my phone came with like 20 google apps and I would prefer to have 0. I'm doubt that is 100% possible because there are very few default programs. Example: no default calender or photo app--just google calendar and google photo. But good lord there are too many of them
Is there a "use Firefox" suggestion for email/calendar/map/file viewer/anything?
<3
#i almost got a plain flip phone to avoid Advertisements but the cheapest was like....$100.... so i got a $200 smartphone and its#moderately adequate. i am still figuring out how to answer calls. you swipe to do it but if you dont swipe with a specific velocity it just#wiggles things around. im not sure how im supposed to lock my phone bc the lock button is also the “reads your fingerprint and unlocks your#phone“ button. so ill lock it and then it immediately registers my finger (which i need to use to press the button to lock it???) and then#it unlocks.#humans are not designed for this. we are crafty and clever and cunning but this is beyond my established skill#i miss my first “phone.” everything customizable. app. font. brightness. scheduled volume changes to silence my phone#during school hours. keybind any key to anything. double-press volume-down to pause audio without looking#i had a “swipe down menu” before they were default :3 i picked exactly which options i wanted in it. i remember my first#real phone had the swipe down menu. i was kinda mad because i knew the original designers and programmers hadnt been#compensated. it was open software. but its different when apple uses the programming in hundreds of billions of dollars worth of products.#gah and then they took SOME of the ideas and locked them behind subscriptions 🙄 like when youtube decided that you#had to pay for Youtube Plus or it pauses media if you turn off the screen. why does this app even know if my phone is locked or unlocked?#its annoying... i stay very far away from any work-arounds that could have consequences. so im stuck hopping#from newly-found method to the next. they vanish as soon as the wrong person discovers it and someone codes it out of existence#i love my little mp3player. no wifi. no bluetooth. no google. the few features it has require non-intuitive button pressing.#but....no ads. just music. purchased music! no subscription. it has a headphone jack. fits in my palm. the exterior isnt glass lol.#wow sorry i am raaaambling. oh well. its my post lol.#sorenhoots
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How do I say “you’re fine but i would be happier if we just didn’t talk anymore” to my mom in a way that doesnt feel cruel
#I already tried once and it felt bad so i reached out to talk again but the truth is i just feel bad about being her first born#and not wanting to talk to her#she’s like find or whatever so its hard to find a reason to cut contact#grasping at straws here#the stress comes from causing her stress if i knew she would be fine i could just do it#i wish she was more bigoted so i could just use that to leave#how do i tell this woman The Truth about How I Feel without coming across as heartless#‘im more annoyed by you saying you love and miss me’#i can’t even bring myself to lie and say that i miss her so i just play up the ‘ilu2’#this is the most annoying shit in the world i wish her love was conditional i wish she would forget i exist so i could just get on with lif#the amount of times ive had to stop myself from saying ‘i think we’d both be happier if we just stopped talking’ could buy me something#me not cutting off my mom and the rest of my family is more about how i think they would feel#rather than how i know id feel#which is ambivelant#it’s similar to like when you hang out with someone once and you just never talk again#that’s how it would feel to me if we just stopped taking forever
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I've had to make a spreadsheet to keep track of the vignettes. and I'm pretty certain over half this book isn't going to be about Conall and Arlo. This format really gives me room to play with the whole time fuckery that happens around Arlo so the connections between sections are going to be more about themes vibes and flow than linear story progression. Like I'll make a key that sorts all 7 ish timelines linearly within themselves and another that sorts them all into one timeline. Because a good portion of these happen concurrently.
Like, A scene might play from Arlo's pov and ten sections later you'll get it from Conall's. and while that's happening the two different versions of Asena are both doing their own thing at that same moment.
Also there's 2 Asena's now. one of them isn't happy about it but the other doesn't know that other version of herself exists.
#the one who isnt happy about it isnt happy because she knows she kinda doesn't exist. Shes a dream manifested by Arlo on accident.#Since he never stops thinking of her as his daughter he kinda breaks time and makes an alternate line where he just kills Conall#and raises Asena himself.#tbh the point of making it non linear is to let ther be explanations for a lot of things without someone having to say the explanation#Like why do werewolves love Arlo? well heres the scene where his mommy makes them for him and his brothers#also Haze gets to have a section in the Anger portion of the book to explain Why he told Rhiannon a prophecy he knew would cause#so much pain.#The king also gets a section but i dont think hes getting a name.#Its there more to be a show of what would have happened between Conall and Arlo if Conall was an enabler instead of a paragon#i think the whole. like Challenge with this exercise is making every single section work on its own and as part of a larger story#like i want people to be able to track the plots as the story goes on but not Need to.#like you could open up to a random section read it and grok it 100%#or read a few then put the book down for a few weeks and be able to continue from where you left off without too much confusion#thats probably the only way to keep this whole thing from being Obnoxious as hell.
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what in the goddamn
#sorry i don’t usually post dumb takes i see but this one left me speechless#if you knew that you could never die you would not appreciate the things in life the same way#‘i’ll never get tired of having only good times 🤪’ and how would you know you’re having good times if you’ve never had bad?#what frame of reference is there? how would you know the meaning of non-suffering if you don’t have suffering to compare it to?#light does not exist without dark and vice versa#infinite good times do not exist you would just be existing neutral. the addition of a ‘good’ signifier implies that you have something -#to compare it to#another scenario: let’s say you’ve suffered before and magically are only able to have ‘good times’ for the rest of ur life#you would go insane.#and is it only you in this scenario? because then you wouldn’t feel grief or sadness when your loved ones die#the hurting of others would not enrage you#you would lose everyone around you because you could sympathize with no one and then not feel anything when you lose them#i genuinely can’t wrap my head around the idea that thinking death gives life meaning is ‘cope’#coping with what exactly.#the fact that everything dies at some point?#op kept arguing in the notes about how immortals would have a different perspective and frame of morals#which is just like. why are you arguing and trying to bring yourself to an immortal person’s state of mind when you know being immortal -#will literally never be achievable? this is not putting yourself in the shoes of the first person to walk on mars someday. this is -#putting yourself in the shoes of idk. a god or something#immortality will never happen why are you trying to reach the hypothetical immortality mindset#sounds like you’re the one coping with the fact that you’ll die someday#beep beep ritchie
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...just had an oopsie au thought.
what if claire erased her own memory with the witch's heart
#cloud posts#a moment of weakness. they're hsppy withiut her; they are#and she'd stuck here; without them; and she can't do anything about it#so does she really need thos memories she clings to?#and so; simple as that; she forgets.#and then; later; sirius and noel meet here again... and yet...#hmmm...#just thinking about memories and things that happen when one person should know the other but doesn't.#or when only one day passes and suddenly your friend is acring completely different#having gone through something you were also psrt of but don't remember#...I suppose this isn't exactly it. the closer equivalent to what I'm deacribing would be if sirius & noel forgot claire#while claire remembered them#the problem is just that I can't really think of a scenario for that to happen?#who would have wished for noel & sirius to forget claire?#sirius himself? smth about being a stupid kid and 'if they all forget she exists it'll all be better!'#but that doesn't ring true to me it doesn't feel like aomething sorius would od really#and I don't think the demons would make that kind of wish.#sirius remembering claire while she doesn't rmember him...#maybe I should try and explore that canon dynamic more...#except they never knew each other well. I suppose that's the biggest problem here.#ah nofhing to be done. I shall rotate this in my head in the foreseeable future I suppose#wh spoilers#claire oopsie moment au
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i usually dont comment on these kinds of things because they shouldnt be treated with the level of weird parasocial interest they tend to be on social media generally but. claire (lil tay) was so fucking young. it doesnt take knowing her personally to feel just how jarring and genuinely tragic her sudden death is. like shit. she was only 14. she didnt even get to live her own life. sorry if this is pointless and theres no call to action or anything here but. jesus.
#kibumblabs#cw death#havent looked too deep into it because im still conflicted over it feeling voyeuristic and disrespectful to do so or not but#from what i have heard it seems sketchy re: her brother and idk i dont want to accuse anyone of anything without proper basis especially#when that someone also passed away but. considering his history of controlling behavior over her image and how it put her in some#serious danger at worst - situations a child should not be in at best... if he did have any part in this i. well i dont know.#cant exactly say he needs to see justice considering its a bit late for that but. i dont know#depending on the circumstances one of her parents may need to answer to some neglect charges. but anyway it all feels so trivial when its#already too late.#you know what. what i think i can say for sure is that i hope she's properly remembered and honored for who she actually was and not as#'lil tay the worlds youngest flexer'. a persona her brother made up that put her in dangerous situation for the sake of clout. by no means#is the public entitled to anything but if anything more is put out there in memorium i hope its something#letting the world know who she was as a real teenage girl with her own interests and personality and favorite songs and teenage obsessions#she looked like such a sweet girl. i hope her friends and family who actually knew her are haunted as little as possible by her#bastardized image on the internet. i hope they– as well as anyone else really– can separate that character from the innocent young girl#who actually existed and who's life was cut so. so fucking short.#i know i said i didnt want to comment too much about this but idk man. it really got to me. maybe because its such a novel situation thats#never exactly happened before- the way her image was on in the internet and how this case will inevitably be treated on the internet#how young she was and how little say she had in how she'd be portrayed on line– much less now how she'd be REMEMBERED.#its disturbing. and deeply deeply tragic.#2009. she was born in 2009. fuck. thats just. wrong
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