#i know i havent done this in years but this is itching me

[arthenaa]

Requesting angsty moment with Ominis x f!reader that takes place after what happens with Sebastian and Solomon where Ominis and reader are distraught and guilty and angry but they end up having passionate sex bc they just need to be close to each other so badly in the midst of everything they lost

my saving grace — ominis x f!reader

summary: It happened. Sebastian has completely lost himself and you and Ominis have no idea how to deal with the repercussions. You fear that it will only take just enough for the both of you to lose yourselves but then you remember that the fact that you haven't is because you both still have each other.

content tags: 18+, explicit sexual content, characters are aged up and instead of the seb thing happening during their 5th year, it happens on their 7th, the reader uses she/her pronouns, angst, comfort, reader is ravenclaw, i havent reached this part of the game yet but i kinda know what happened but idk the details so it might be different from what actually happened in the game HAHA, you guys make love in seb's house, comfort sex, crying crying, self reflection, ominis is in love w you, p in v sex, cockwarming, heavy petting, foreplay, ominis fucks u while standing up and against the wall teehee, nasty stuff, you both miss sebastian, i am so sorry i love writing them as a poly relationship but i dont rlly imply anything of both of your relationships with seb, poor you and ominis :(( , kinda short tbh

Silence. Complete and utter silence.

It gives an unpleasant itch in your brain the longer you spend time in it. It's nothing like the ones you have with Poppy while tending to the beasts in class or the ones with Samantha in the comforts of the common room. Or maybe the ones you spend with Ominis and Sebastian in the undercroft.

Ominis and Sebastian.

Sebastian.

Right. That happened.

A few hours ago, you were in the Feldcroft catacombs, helping Sebastian in his quest to find a cure for Anne then next you're standing in shock as your very own best friend had cast an unforgivable on his uncle and he had chosen the worst out of the three. The Killing Curse.

It had happened all too fast. You barely caught a glimpse of the green ray of light heading toward Solomon. You watch as Anne fought off her twin, face filled with disgust and disbelief as she hauled her uncle's unmoving body from the floor. On her way out, she sent you a face of despair and desperation and you knew what she was telling you.

'Take care of him. For me.'

You're currently seated on the steps leading to the Sallow home. The silence was deafening not because of the night but because of the lack of people. No one was home.

You expected Anne to be here but she wasn't and you were close to ripping the strands of hair from your head because now you were worried for both twins. Sebastian was nowhere to be found after the whole fiasco. You remember the scared look on his face after he had done what he did, looking for some sort of semblance of comfort from you, that what he did was right and just because he was doing it for his sister. You thought maybe he had learned from the dangers of dark magic when you were in your 5th year but it seems as time passed, his quest for finding a cure for Anne overshadowed his morals as a person.

You let out a shakey sigh as you hug your legs closer to your chest. The cold breeze of the night provided some sort of comfort in the silence. Your chin rests on the top of your knees, observing the houses around you. It was close to midnight and so you suspected that the people inside were already in their slumber.

"It's late." A familiar voice breaks your reverie. You jump at the sudden presence before turning your head to the culprit.

"Ominis." You whisper, almost so quiet that Ominis barely hears it. The young Gaunt stands in the greenery surrounding the front yard of the Sallow home. You stare as he allows his wand to guide you to where you're seating and seats down beside you.

Somehow, the silence becomes tolerably better as you feel Ominis's warmth from your side. He bites his lip as he fiddles with his wand. "Did you find him?"

"No." You whisper back, eyes staring dead into the night. Another cold wind blows past you.

"Anne?"

"Nope." You could feel the tears start to well in your eyes, you try your best to hold them back. Ominis nods in understanding before he pulls his knees up and rests his hands, outstretched on his knees. His head drops as he lets out a sigh.

It's silent once again and then you finally realized why the silence feels too hard to bear. It's because this town that had always been too silent, always had comfort in it from the way Anne sips her morning herbal tea to Mr. Sallow grumbling as he yet again flips another coin into the well and of course, Sebastian; Sebastian who had both shown you the wonders of his tightly-knit hometown and welcomed you with open arms from when you were 5th years up until your 7th. Sebastian who had shown you Feldcroft's love for tranquility and comfort in silence. You had found yourself in a town— in a home with just the two of you.

Just you and Ominis.

The dam breaks out of nowhere and you could only prevent yourself from full-out bawling as the palm of your hands cover your mouth. Ominis is startled by the sudden sounds of your crying.

"I-I should've stopped him." You sobbed as your hands shake. It was quite muffled with the hindrance of the hands against your mouth but Ominis hears it nonetheless. The blonde only falls silent as he listens to your worries. "Way back then! I should've—"

"No, Y/N." Ominis gently intercepts as he tries to swallow a sudden lump in his throat, preventing the breakdown caused by the events that occurred a few hours ago. "You were just trying to help. I-I would've done it as well, had I been in your place. There was nothing we could do."

Ominis sounds like he's trying to convince himself more than you. You look at him with swollen eyes as the urge to bawl dwindled. You let out a shaky sigh once more as you try to calm yourself.

"All of this started because of me," Ominis whispers. You turn your head towards the young Gaunt in confusion. "I was the one who exposed him to the dark arts. He was a natural learner and when concepts and magic like this are exposed to a person like him, it's innate for Sebastian to know more. He loves Anne more than anything. I-I should've known better when I brought you both to the scriptorium a few years ago. I helped set up that situation for him. I helped him hurt Anne. I made him—"

He couldn't say the words but you knew what he was talking about. You scowl at his insinuation before grabbing his cheeks in your hands and facing them toward you. You could now see the tears silently running down his face. It had sounded like he was so composed but he was just as broken as you were.

"I miss him," Ominis whispers as you hold his face close to yours. Your lip wobbles as you lick your bottom lip to collect yourself.

"You need to listen to yourself, Ominis." You mumble as your thumbs brush against his cold cheeks. "There are a lot of things we don't understand today and most of them we may try to blame ourselves for it but never try to point the blame on something that Sebastian inflicted himself. He was perfectly aware of what this might lead to and he cast it with perfect intentions."

Ominis quietly sobs in your hands as you press your forehead against his. "I'm scared to think right now."

"Then don't." You whisper as your eyes focus on the trembling boy in front of you. "Just focus on me."

Ominis gulps as he tries to compose himself, letting out short breaths as he lifts his hands to feel the sides of your arms then your shoulders then your neck then your jaw then your cheeks. You softly smile as you allow yourself to be seen by Ominis. You bask in his touch before feeling his touch on your lips. Its gentle and faint. Your eyes glance down at his lips before looking up at his cloudy blue eyes.

He leans in hesitantly before placing a soft and tender kiss on your lips. It rests on yours for a couple of seconds before he gently pulls away. There's a moment of pause before he breaks the silence.

"Stay with me." He whispers. You admire his face for a bit as you lean back slightly. You know what he means as he intertwines his hands with yours. It almost makes you cry but you know you needed to both be strong for what's about to come and right now, all you needed was each other. You press your forehead against his to let him feel your nod.

"O-Ominis." You moan softly as the blonde buries his head on your neck. His hands pull you close against him as you seat on his lap. Your cloaks and coats are forgotten on the floor of the house as your bodies entangle with one another on one of the beds inside the Sallow home.

The moment the two of you entered the house, it was just a mess of limbs wanting to be close as they physically can to one another. You can't remember the moment Ominis pulled you into his lap and sucked the living daylights out of you but you can't complain with how good it felt.

"Fuck." Ominis curses as his hands move under your skirt to grip your ass against the fabric of your undergarments. You whimper as you move against the hardening bulge on his crotch. You wrap your arms around his neck as you place your forehead against his.

"Pretty." You whisper, smiling as you trace his features with your hand. "My pretty boy."

Ominis whimpers at the praise before moving his hand in your inner thigh and boldy cupping your sex. You jolt in response, moaning as he grinds the palm of his hand against your clit.

"You've done so well. Done so much." Ominis licks his lips as he feels your wet arousal leak through your underwear. You rest your head on his shoulder as Ominis slides the piece of fabric to the side and slide his fingers in with ease. You moan at the intrusion.

You hug him close as he works your inside, shaping you to fit him. He curls his fingers in, pushing them deeper as it brushes against your sweet spot. You whine at its closeness, your hips trying to push it deeper as you grind on his fingers. Ominis peppers kisses on the side of your neck and jaw, cooing as you continue to let out soft moans and gasps at his ministrations.

"P-put it in." You whisper as your hand grips his wrist to stop him. You had almost come from his fingers alone but all you needed right now is to be closer to him. Ominis nods before the two of you remove your remaining clothes. He casts a protection charm and you watch as a thin sheen surface wrapped around his cock. Your hands find themselves cupping his cheeks once more as he angles his cock against your entrance. You gulp as you feel the head bump into your opening.

"You ready?" He softly asks, rubbing his hands against your hips. You smile as you pull him into a kiss, gently lowering yourself down onto his cock. Both of you softly moan out as you take in his length inch by inch. It takes you a while before you feel his thighs hit against yours. You let out a shaky breath as you rub your noses against one another.

Silence, but this time it's comfort. It fills in your heart with warmth and tranquility. It renders you both speechless and only relying on your bodies to communicate how you feel and so, you move.

You bounce passionately on his lap, feeling his length go in and out of your cunt. It draws out whines and moans as you try to keep yourself as close as possible with your foreheads still against one another. Ominis grips your hips as he tries to meet your bounces with his thrusts, pushing him deeper in you. The pleasure is immense and the need for each other's warmth is felt through the clashing of lips and gripping of one another's skin.

At one point, Ominis grabs your waist and pulls you to stand up with ease. Your legs wrap around his waist as he bounces you up and down his cock with vigor. You make choked noises as you certainly feel the thrust of his cock hit the back of your throat. You wrap your arms around his neck as he pushes you against the wall, growling as he rams his cock into you.

You allow yourself to be at his mercy. To be his canvas as he paints you with reds, greens, and blacks signifying the emotions brought by earlier events. Sebastian. Anne. Mr. Sallow. The triptych. The Scriptorium. His family. Slytherin. You allow him to use you as he sees fit as you do to him.

Ominis pulls his head back from your neck, thoroughly marking your neck. He presses his forehead against yourself as you feel his hips stuttering.

"Stay with me. Please—" He whispers, broken as he pleads softly. You grabs his face between your hands as he practically fucks you into the wall. "Stay. Stay by me. F-Fuck."

"I'm here." You reassure him as you place a chaste kiss on his lips before you move to press against his ear, your hand gripping his hair tightly. He moans in response. "I'm here. I'll be here, always."

He snarls at your response as he moves his hips faster. His hand dives down to rub your clit, stimulating you further to your climax. You let out high-pitched whines against his ear as you grip his hair tighter.

It's him who releases first as he bottoms out and let his fluid be caught by the protective charm, forming a barrier from being released inside you, yet despite his release being protected, you could still feel its warmth which prompts you to release as well. Your body jolts at your orgasm, your thighs shake and your toes curl at the intensity. You push against Ominis, head banging against the wall as you choked out moans.

"I love you. I fucking love you." Ominis snarls as he dips down to suck your breasts. It further enhances your lengthy orgasm as you grip his shoulders in sensitivity. Ominis gently pries you from the wall as you slump in his arms before gently placing you down on the bed.

Its all hazy as you feel being cleaned up before a body is pressed up yet again against you. Ominis wraps you in his embrace as you pull him close. You feel overwhelmed with the need to be close to him as he continues to give you soft kisses against your face. You didn't even know you were crying before Ominis gently brushed against your temples, catching the falling tears. You open your eyes as you stare at him beside you.

"Ominis." You whisper as you face him on your side. You place a soft kiss on his lips as your leg rests over his hip. The need for each other's touch never left. His hand runs the length of your thigh as he slots himself between your legs. You miss the fullness as your swollen and sensitive pussy clenched over nothing. "Inside. Please."

Ominis moves in silence as his hand pushes you close against him through the small of your back before grabbing the shaft of his semi-hard cock and pushing it back in with ease. You dreamily sigh as you place kisses against his lips. Both of stay still, feeling your inner walls pulse against his slowly hardening cock, both riddled with sensitivity.

"I love you too." Your reply to his declaration after a few moments of silence. You trace his features with your finger as he softly smiles at you returning his affection. Tears flow freely down your faces as you kiss once more. It's you who pulls back first.

"I'm here with you."

"As am I, my little dove."

A/N: smut is done best at 3 am. hope yall enjoyed this :D you and ominis fucked each other so hard bc yall needed to vent <3

[moonsidesong]

just caught up with Your Turn To Die and absolutely adored it the whole way through. it goes unbelievably hard. calling it Danganronpa But Good feels like an insult. but like... yeah what if danganronpa was good? or rather. game that makes me wish danganronpa was good.

it really keeps you on your toes the Entire time, which is why i ended up saving like......... every five to ten minutes, most times. i would say the only slower part is the minigames during chapter 2? but, i thought those were fun, and they were still broken up by plot important stuff, so i really didnt mind.

ive heard the game had a soundtrack release on CD a few years ago, but i cant seem to find much information about it? much less any resell listings. how sad... i love cd...

i wanna talk more in depth from here on out so spoilers under the cut! warning thoughts very disjointed. and i havent seen absolutely Everything the game has to offer yet (havent done any of the side stories, we'll do them soon probably) so if my takes are disproven by anything ive yet to see please do not tell me htank you

first off OHHH MY GODDDD THIS GAME IS SO MUCH LESS CREEPY ABOUT THE MINORS AND ITS SUCH A BREATH OF FRESH AIR COMPARED TO DANGANRONPA. its not perfect, of course, i do not entirely love the jokes(???) about keiji (known grown adult man) going on dates with sara (known teenage girl), but like, this game does not make me feel gross all the time? thank u nankidai for not making your teacher character with a close relationship with one of his former students a groomer! the bare minimum! im gonna hit kodaka with a stick this should not be a point in the game's favor.

anyway! ended chapter 2 with Reko and Sou (shin) alive, ended chapter 3 having lost Reko .. . :( shes my favorite... i was so sad... ranmaru we're not friends anymore/.... you suck... you killed my best girl... we um, did make a grand total of 175 save files though, so at some point me and the friend i played with are gonna go back and scrub through anything and everything that we missed. maybe after we do the side stories though, not sure yet. reko yabusame i swear to god i will crawl into the screen and kill ranmaru myself for you. i will save you. i love you so much mwah

for years ive only known midori as The Guy That Kids On Danganronpa Discourse Instagram Put Overdramatic Yet Also Somehow Extremely Haphazard Trigger Warnings on every post that included him, so i was really excited to meet him. and boy he did not disappoint this guys NUTS!!! HES CRAZAY!!!!!!!! he has such a perfectly striking look about him. i love how he almost never stops looking straight at you, and how his suit is stark black so it obscures a lot of his shape when he's in the dark, its so cool. they absolutely nailed the atmosphere whenever you're around this guy.

but the first jumpscare when he like reaches out at you from the coffin just kinda made me laugh. me when i get you

also, if you're this far in to care about my opinions on games you probably know that i am Known Danganronpa V3 Hater. i think in particular Kokichi Ouma is way too good of a character for how dogwater the game's actual plot is, and Shin Tsukimi, while not being the same, obviously, scratches that itch of a guy trapped in a death game that spends all his time lying and living under a persona because he's afraid of dying perfectly While Being In A Game That Doesnt Make Me Feel Like Eating Sheet Metal . i love this dude and his ugly several clashing colors outfit. he wants my ass like mega dead right now but thats not important surely

also, i think its sweet that joe and sara are just best friends and they rarely ever even entertain the idea that they had romantic feelings for each other. i think its extra sweet and tragic that joe was able to tell sara he loved her in the end, meaning it as his best friend. and the way the game completely ceases showing you flashbacks of him after that point and just lets the image of the hallucinations replace his actual memory overtime is so good and haunting. this doubled down by the way her memory of him is completely locked up as soon as she starts trying to actually remember the way he really was, its so good.

i think thats all i have to say for now, but umm!!! really really good im excited to go back and fill in the gaps i missed. especially regarding kanna becasue i have a lot of theories about her that i hope im on the right track about #lol. but even if i dont i want to see her i miss her. yaay!!! i love when video games are good. i love you video games.

ill probably make more posts down the line with more thoughts after i let them marinade in my brain for a while... mostly when i have thoughts ive been sending them to the friend im playing with so we can discuss theories together LOL

[onefourty445]

Hi!

9, 12 & 22 for the writer asks! 🤍

hi!!☺️

9. start to finish, how long did it take you to write the last fic you posted?

well, the last one i posted was thermo but that’s not finished yet… i just checked actually and i first created the doc on the 9th of march, so that makes it roughly 3 months since i started? But i finished the first chapter in about a month-ish…i have not yet started chapter 3 yet (🥲) bc after posting chapter 2 i want to finish the newest chapter of my drarry but i think it’ll be done in june!

(ruffle your feathers, on the other hand… took me 2 weeks😭)

12. a trope you’re really into right now?

I’m actually kind of in a reading slump rn so i dont even know what I want to read, but I think I’ve been craving hurt&comfort and angst… been reading some good delicious drarry with hurt!harry and it scratched an itch 😋 I!!! also got back into reading lestappen which i’m really glad abt since i havent read them for a few months but i found some good ones and yes, they were a bit angsty…

22. do you ever worry about public reaction to what you’re writing? how do you get past that?

i do worry a bit, I think? But over the years I’ve learnt it’s better if I just treat these stories as if I let their hands go… if I have expectations I usually end up disappointed lol which I’m sure is like an universal feeling. I try not to let it get to me and thankfully since my fics don’t get like too much attention i also don’t really get negative comments (thank god) but! The former does make me a bit… idk, sad I guess? like with winter things, I do understand that it’s a season specific story but it did not get as much attention as I expected it would…

But also I think I just learnt to manage it over the years tbh, I don’t check stats often to let myself be surprised when i do haha and i just hope there are other people out there who also enjoy my silly little ideas (the hits on somebody else are insane like in sane???)

[fratboykate]

I kind of miss the Original Beloved Y and Katie B, what are they up to? We never did find out how Kate died after all. What happened? I think we should know at this point

who says ive abandoned it? ye of little faith! y'all should know better than that. you waited like five years for me to get back on the CFAU horse and i delivered (i think?!). ill get back to it eventually. you'll find out what happened. (and baby nat will get rescued lmao)

that OG KYAU is like suuuuch a specific mindset thing for me because it's the actual canon kate and yelena which y'all know i dont really do. it's the only time ive ever done it in my life and it was...challenging. i dont like to play in other writer's sandboxes so while that one is certainly fun it's just hard for me to get back into it randomly because i have to stick to the voices other people have created. that's always tricky.

funny that you bring them up tho because i was thinking about them a lot this week since KYAU has to have one of my favorite "moms are fighting" moment with "the ring" chapter. if you havent read it in a while and are in the mood for some angst, i highly recommend because it totally scratched the itch i was having before i posted the other two "moms are fighting" chaps here. no way im going to be able to dig the original version i posted on here to reblog because that's buried miles deep in that tag, but here's the version i posted to ao3:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/36092776/chapters/90086602

[t-acenda]

quitting my high-paying job and the good-kid luck

someone got promoted today.

there were announcements and congratulations in the group chat, just like how any promotion in the digital age should be celebrated.

my laptop sounded like an alarm clock with the array of notifications ringing up, typical congratulations, yada yada. but one word from my notif panel stuck with me

“dasurv”

yes that exact word, filiipino gay lingo and all

i cant say i wasnt exactly affected, but i was

thats because there were no round of congratulations when i got promoted. and that’s because nobody knew. the time i was being interviewed for my new role i was itching to get out from where i was. i didnt feel like i did a very great job at it, and i know my team mates thought so too thats why they were quick to let me out. the time i was given a choice between staying and leaving it was always a conversation geared towards making me leave:

“jo, im leaving the decision up to you. but if i were you, id take the opportunity since this will be great for you”

“oh but im gonna miss you all. id like to come back when theres a re-org, especially since re-orgs are a natural occurrence in the company”

“oh no, i think this time that will be your permanent position”

theyd even announce that i was leaving 2 months before i was set to transfer, and i havent done any interview yet for that matter.

stuff like that.

so you’d understand why i was desperate to get out. i didnt want to be in a position where nobody wanted me in, and where i feel like im dragging everyone down. 

so when the offer came-- and it was A LOT more than i imagined it to be-- all i can think about was “do i turn down the offer and stay where im not needed, or take it and suffer the internal pressure of living up to a position people are sweating their asses off for while i get it on a silver platter”

obviously i chose the latter.

and that’s what i am dealing with today.

there’s always this pressure of me trying to live up to the role, trying to earn my place in the hectic corporate world. it felt like im bryce dallas howard acting in blockbuster movies just because her dad is a director, while other better aspiring actresses are scrambling with garbage flicks just to get to the top. 

you know what im saying??

thats the reason why i want to quit this job. 

i KNOW im doing a good job, i KNOW im doing the best i can. but it doesnt feel great knowing full well other people deserve your position more than you do. it doesnt help that i accidentally spilled the tea with my old manager, wherein he reacted in the most offending way possible with complete shock, together with a “don’t tell anyone ah. you know how people talk”. thanks for reassuring me that i am not good enough to be here, thank you very much.

i am aware of how lucky i am. i am aware of the immense truckload amount of luck that i have all my life. its like god showered me a huge gigantic massive amount of glimmering luck all my life and equal parts of imposter syndrome tendencies to compensate for my lack of skill and self-belief.

and thats when i realized i had the good-kid luck. back in grade school i was the typical shy awkward kid. i had good grades and the teachers loved me for being unproblematic. i got award after award until highschool. come college, i realized i actually wasnt smart. i was just the good kid. in college, professors dont care about who the fuck you are. thats why the charm worn off. grades suffered badly despite me giving the same amount of effort that i did in my golden younger years. i was back to being antisocial, a downward curve that peaked during my highschool years.

come my first job. it was the easiest thing since graduating after college. my good-kid luck returned and my boss loved me. always telling me i was doing a great job and all. and when she recommended me for promotion before my first yr at work i was only half surprised. i knew the charm was running again but the anxiety of knowing to myself that it felt too easy and effortless killed me.

after i quit my first job, i quickly jumped to another one. another easy breezy step for the good kid since i was referred to by a friend of mine. and a year into the job here i am being promoted even though i was always lost and felt like i was highly dependent on my boss.

but on the flip side, i am here now. and no one can do anything about it. 

finally i feel like this is the role where i can redeem myself. this scope was familiar ground, i can work with it

but i sill cant help but wonder how it would feel like to quit, and actually work from the bottom to the top without any help from the good kid luck.

i want to buy a car without guilt written in the price tag. i want to go to work knowing i can introduce myself and my role without rewording it to something a little more generic.

i want to congratulate myself with a very well-thought of “dasurv”.

[hedevimaiyya]

Wicked Fox by Kat Cho

Eighteen-year-old Gu Miyoung has a secret--she's a gumiho, a nine-tailed fox who must devour the energy of men in order to survive. Because so few believe in the old tales anymore, and with so many evil men no one will miss, the modern city of Seoul is the perfect place to hide and hunt. But after feeding one full moon, Miyoung crosses paths with Jihoon, a human boy, being attacked by a goblin deep in the forest. Against her better judgment, she violates the rules of survival to rescue the boy, losing her fox bead--her gumiho soul--in the process. Jihoon knows Miyoung is more than just a beautiful girl--he saw her nine tails the night she saved his life. His grandmother used to tell him stories of the gumiho, of their power and the danger they pose to humans. He's drawn to her anyway. With murderous forces lurking in the background, Miyoung and Jihoon develop a tenuous friendship that blossoms into something more. But when a young shaman tries to reunite Miyoung with her bead, the consequences are disastrous . . . forcing Miyoung to choose between her immortal life and Jihoon's.

Kim Hye Yoon as Gu Miyoung Rowoon as Ahn Jihoon Cho Hye Jung as Song Nara Kim Da Mi as Lee Somin Kim Hyun Mok as Oh Changwan Song Hye Kyo as Gu Yena Woo Do Hwan as Junu Yoo Ji Tae as Detective Hae Ko Du Shim as Jihoon’s halmeoni

[rivangel]

in good faith of keeping u guys updated on my tattoos...

i moved recently + my old shop closed SO i went to a new one and i was too nervous of being judged to book my levi tattoo this time + partly bc of covid i havent gotten a tattoo in a year so i decided to go with one(s) i already had planned

heres the results!!

tw// some healed scars and a little blood

i decided to get 2 pieces done on my wrists

this lamb?? a breeze. i love it very much

THE CROW!!???? idk if u see (/s) but my skin here is VERY angry and prior to these tattoos i have never bled while getting one (the lamb bled too, but just a little).

as a whole i severely underestimated the toll these would take and completely disregarded proper prep (eating before, sleeping well, bringing WATER) and even tho my artist gave me a couple smoke breaks, by the end of the crow i was more or less going into shock, aka cold sweats, dizziness, ears ringing

it wasnt my artists fault and he was super nice!! someone else bought me orange juice and water and waited till i was ready to keep going. im normally v v good abt the pain, but Man.

what was bad on my artist was he waited until the day of to finish my designs. the shop itself played this old loud grunge music - which i enjoyed a lot but became overwhelming after a couple hours with the pain.

afterwards: i went home, passed the fuck out and woke up feeling achy with a fever. i literally took an at home covid test but little did i know that i had tattoo fever (never had that before either).

ur body/mind WILL treat the tattoo process as trauma and treat it as an injury. i am still (~a week later) a little sore lol. the toll it takes will sometimes make u sick for a day or two, which i was. after more sleep and some fever reducers i was all better and i fucking loved my new art.

then i took off the bandages. in the past my artist had always used a kind of saran wrap, but these were proper breathable adhesive bandages. i didnt take them off properly also my artist didnt tell me so as a result ive been dealing with peeling off this VERY sticky residue b/n regular cleanings and lotion to deal with the itching while they heal

heres a pic i took today:

so

I LOVE THEM I LOVE THEM SM !!! theyve healed rly well, even the raven which i was most worried abt. it's still a process but im happy and im planning to schedule my aot tattoo soon. im thinking a lil birthday gift to myself will be my levi tattoo in late july :3 eee im so excited

anyway if u've read this far then THANKS ik im rambling lol

[omegawolverine]

Braid Me a Home

summary:

"Braid my fucking hair, Theseus. Braid it.”

It had sounded like a plea falling from Techno’s chapped lips, blood caked under his nails as he sat in front of Tommy on a tree stump, slowly itching at his wrists.

“Wilbur told me to stop you if you ever started doing that-”

“Wilbur isn’t fucking here. Just...braid, Toms. Braid.” 

or

A story about the Sleepy Bois being family, told through braids.

word count: 2.5k

warnings: child neglect, hurt/no comfort, canonical character death, implied/referenced mental health issues (like it’s obvious but there isn’t much detail to it), brief blood mentions (ik this fic sounds kinda angsty as hell but its not? imo its light angst)

a/n: first dream smp fic and im ALREADY projecting? christ. anyways. go easy on me pls this is far from my best work i just havent written a fic in like 5 months (more if you dont count the fucking chat fics) mm also i may have posted this like a week ago on ao3 just to test the waters and its already gotten way more comments and kudos than any fic of mine usually gets this early on so hopefully tumblr enjoys it too :]

—

When Wilbur Soot was born, he came out crying, as most babies do. Covered in vernix and blood, he weighed just barely above the seven-pound mark, gasping out sharp cries that only a parent could truly stand, or worse—love. Though he was the second baby born into the family that day, he was fussed over far more than he would ever be again.

Technoblade, on the other hand, had barely made a sound when he came out, a trail of blood smeared across his forehead, almost as if it was meant to be there. He made small noises that were more akin to confused mumbles, weakly grasping at his father’s hair when he was eventually passed on for the second child to be welcomed into the world.

Only when both boys were held in their father’s grasp did Wilbur quiet down, his soft head leaning into his father’s beard as he stared wide eyed at the boy across from him. Though they looked similar enough, Technoblade’s nose was squished further back into his face, appearing almost snout-like to Philza. Of course Wilbur noted this, wiggling until their father somehow managed to get them pressed right up against each other with minimal damage done. Though Techno never stopped squinting like an annoyed old man at Wilbur, he allowed the other to press a fist against his nose, his eyebrows unfurrowing just the slightest bit at the touch.

From that day on, Philza was the father of two twin boys—a loud boy who cried easily, but always calmed down for his older brother, and a rather monotone one, who’s face seemed to be permanently stuck in a scowl, unless said face was being smushed around by the younger. And things worked like that for a while. Not forever, but...a while.

—

Philza taught Wilbur to braid on a hot Monday afternoon.

It had been a rough day for the boy, though Phil hadn’t a clue why. Maybe he had just woken up on the wrong side of the bed? Or maybe he hadn’t slept enough between bedtime and the time Tommy had started crying again, the youngest boy’s crib being right beside his head and all. Though it might’ve seemed cruel from an outsider’s perspective, Wilbur had been the one to ask for it. Something about Tommy being his little brother and how he needed to teach the boy the ways of the world in the same way Techno had taught him—because apparently that was all Techno’s doing now, not Phil’s.

Regardless, Wilbur had been a bit too snippy for Phil’s liking that day, complaining about every little thing they did until finally, the day was over.

Well, as over as it could be with Techno leaving mid foam sword fight, an annoyed shout of ‘I quit!’ leaving his mouth before he snatched up Tommy’s carrier and brought him inside for god knows what reason.

It had only been around four P.M. by that time—too early for dinner, yet too late for Phil to really demand the boy stay outside and continue to entertain himself with a brother who was clearly not entertained himself.

Details aside, Phil isn’t really sure how they got to braiding. He just knows at some point they did and by the end of their outside time, just before the clock struck six, Wilbur had made two thick, messy braids in his hair. They stuck out awkwardly, looking all too similar to Pippi Longstocking’s iconic hairdo for his comfort, but he’d be damned if he took out the braids his son had so happily rushed inside to show his older brother before demanding to do his hair as well. After all, Wilbur didn’t have long enough hair for braids, but Technoblade sure as hell did. It was only at his shoulder blades back then, brunette curls wrapping around his narrow shoulders and thin arms like thick vines.

Wilbur had always enjoyed brushing it out with his fingers and putting cute, handmade clips or flowers in it at random, decorating the waves for his brother who was more than happy to let the boy do as he pleased. Though he would never admit it, Technoblade liked how it felt when Will played with his hair. He was always careful not to tug too hard, prioritizing the comfort of his other half more than the beauty of his work, as he so often referred to it.

So when Will had presented him with the mess that was his first two braids, he wasn’t hesitant at all to let the boy practice on him. Instead, he walked to the couch with a small smile, removing his glasses gently and getting comfortable before his brother plopped down into the space behind him. Long legs draped over long legs with no warning, thighs pressed together as if they were meant to be like that all along—and they might as well have been, for how often they did this.

Phil had watched them from the doorway in content silence, Tommy sitting behind him in a wooden high chair looking bored, but not making a fuss for once. And as he left that doorway to begin dinner, he listened to their muffled conversation and soft bursts of laughter with a small smile on his lips, for he knew things wouldn’t always be this way. They would have to grow up eventually, and when they did, things would change. Phil could only hope it was for the better.

—

When Tommy turns nine, Wilbur teaches him to braid under circumstances not too different from the ones he had learned under himself.

Well. Not too too different.

Philza and Technoblade had been...busy as of late. In the house for three days, out for a week, in for a week, out for three more, over and over and over again. Wilbur had become more like a father to Tommy in recent months than he should’ve been, his fourteenth birthday fast approaching as their father took Techno out for yet another job, one that Wilbur couldn’t come on because he was too fucking weak to do anything Techno could do, too fucking stupid to learn all the techniques Techno did, lacking all the strength and agility his older sibling possessed, like the useless prick he was-

Right. This is about Tommy.

When Tommy was nine, his hair rested gently against his collarbones in the exact same cut and color as their father wore. If Wilbur was a lesser man, he would’ve hated the kid for it, but it wasn’t his fault that he couldn’t see what a selfish git their father truly was yet. All he knew was that their dad was busy a lot and that, for some reason, Techno needed to go with him. Apparently, that was enough for him to keep holding onto the idea that one day, the man would stay longer and maybe, just maybe, show him some of the same care that his older brother did.

If Wilbur was a better man, he would tell Tommy the truth. He would tell him all about the way Philza had called him useless in a fight, forcing him to instead stay home and care for a child while still being one himself. He would mention how Philza had given him no instructions on how to care for a developing child, how he left out key details to parenting on his own as a goddamn thirteen-year-old, yet remembered to tell him things would be better this way because god forbid he does his fucking job as a father for anyone but Technoblade—

Who he missed. He missed Technoblade, his other half, so fucking bad it hurt sometimes—so bad it left him gasping for breath at two A.M., his head pounding in tandem with his uneven heartbeat, lungs burning as his snot and tears soaked into his brother’s cold, cold sheets. And it made him feel fucking pathetic because the truth of the matter was that...Techno had left him behind too. Still, he couldn’t bring himself to hate the older boy, no matter how hard he tried. Couldn’t hate Philza either, if he were to be honest with himself, but it was a lot easier to pretend he did when his father was the one putting them all in this position to begin with.

So, Tommy was nine when he learned how to braid.

Phil had promised him and Techno would be back Tuesday morning.

It was Wednesday afternoon.

Tommy didn’t fucking understand, and as frustrating as it was that the prick decided to take it out on Wilbur, he couldn’t blame him. Who else was he supposed to take this shit out on? Certainly not the man who had yet to return.

Wilbur had started the braid as a way to distract him. It was simple, really—tell him you know something he doesn’t and that he won’t get to know if he doesn’t sit the fuck down and listen.

When he had started tugging the boy’s hair back from his face, his immediate reaction was to jerk away, swatting at the hands that hovered over his shoulders. This only happened once or twice more before he let it happen naturally, his posture stiff as Wilbur ran his fingers through the boy’s hair with practiced ease.

Though it may not have seemed like it, Tommy was significantly more averse to touch than Techno had ever been. The only reason Techno even seemed averse to it was because of his hesitance to initiate, something he and Wilbur had discussed in depth. Rejection was one of the few fears Technoblade truly had and Wilbur held that fact close to his heart, ready to die with it if need be. Tommy, on the other hand? He was very particular about where and when and why someone was touching him, and it had taken Wilbur a long time to get used to that fact. But, he wasn’t about to make his little brother uncomfortable just so he could be happy and, eventually, he learned the ins and outs of how to touch TommyInnit without causing issue.

Pulling a few of the shorter strands towards the front of Tommy’s face loose, Will separated the blonde’s hair into three sections. They were rather small, what with how thin and short his hair was, it just barely being long enough to even have a proper braid in it, but Wilbur knew he could make it work.

“Now, Toms, you gotta listen to me here, because I can’t show you this bit, yeah? Phil and Tech aren’t here, and my hair is too short, so you’ll just have to feel it out for now, but...this is how you braid hair-” Wilbur had said in a soft voice, brushing the pad of his thumb over the boys neck slowly to ease the tension out of his shoulders. The effect was immediate, the boy slouching forward as if he had just noticed he was holding himself so sternly. Smiling softly, Wilbur instructed him on how to weave the strands together, answering questions and pulling lightly at Tommy’s hair so he could feel exactly where everything went. After he was done, Tommy had reached back to feel the bumps in his hair, all his earlier anger seemingly gone as he gave a small smile. And then he tried it himself.

Of course he got a bit of help at first, Wilbur’s larger hands guiding his own with gentle corrections, but after that Tommy worked on it alone, his older brother watching in silence from a patch of grass beside the porch step.

That night, Tommy and Wilbur slept in Techno’s bed, a soft, blue blanket wrapped tightly around them. And if another body woke them up at some point that night, shoving its way into the mess of limbs, their chest pressed right up against the youngest boy’s back, then that was only for them to know.

—

At eleven years old, Tommy takes a pair of scissors to his hair. With flushed cheeks and salty lips, his hands shaking and his eyes foggy, he cuts, cuts, cuts, until he can no longer braid his hair—until he can no longer look like fucking Phil.

Even though Wilbur had once said he hated Tommy’s long hair—hated how similar he and their dad looked—he felt like crying as he ran his fingers through the uneven strands. He didn’t tell his brother this though, instead grabbing his face and planting a wet kiss on his freckled forehead. In a fierce whisper, Wilbur had said, “I’m so fucking proud of you, Tommy. So fucking proud.”

Tommy never forgets the way he felt that day. He doesn’t forget Wilbur’s words either.

—

When Wilbur loses his last life, Technoblade tells Tommy to braid his hair.

It wasn’t a question either, but a demand forced out between gritted teeth, his face red, his nose stuffy and his lashes wet with unshed tears. Still, his words were clear as day.

“Braid my fucking hair, Theseus. Braid it.”

It had sounded like a plea falling from Techno’s chapped lips, blood caked under his nails as he sat in front of Tommy on a tree stump, slowly itching at his wrists.

“Wilbur told me to stop you if you ever started doing that-”

“Wilbur isn’t fucking here. Just...braid, Toms. Braid.”

Tommy sniffled, but did as he was told.

Maybe it was because he was too tired to argue with the only person he even had left. Maybe it was because he could tell Technoblade was mad at their father for the first time in his life, and he knew how bad his first time had felt. Or, maybe, it was just because he knew Techno fucking cared. Nobody else seemed to, but he knew Techno did and...that was enough for him.

As long as someone else cared—as long as it was fucking Technoblade—that was enough for him.

Just as Tommy had finished the braid, curling his finger around the light pink tail that tied the whole thing off, Techno yanked it forward. Before he could even register that the hair had left his hand, the older boy had taken an axe to the top of it, letting the rest of his hair fall around his face in uneven curls. Though it was a good ten minutes of work wasted, Tommy couldn’t say a damn thing as he watched Techno pocket the braid, muttering a thank you and heading in the direction of Wilbur’s unofficial grave.

In that moment, he felt relief for the first time in a long while.

—

Wilbur Soot was born covered in vernix and blood, weighing just barely above the seven-pound mark, and he came into the world much like he left it. Everyone had heard his cries—even if they weren’t there, even if they didn’t know him well—they had saw the way he spiraled, desperate and afraid and paranoid, searching for help, but never receiving enough.

And though he was the second child born, he left the world first, returning in a yellow sweater with a small braid tucked behind his ear. He didn’t really know why he had one, but he remembered braiding Techno’s hair and he remembered teaching Tommy how to do his own and he remembered, he remembered, he remembered the braids.

[odetolove]

Bo’s tail swings in big, heavy arcs behind him, perched on the edge of your couch. He’s uncomfortably hot, a never ending itch beneath his skin, but his tail still wags because you’re going to be home soon. You left just this morning, but to Bokuto it feels like it’s been years. Just thinking of you has his fingers twitching, his tail swinging harder. 

Just as the itch is becoming unbearable, the click of the lock resonates through the apartment, and it’s all Bo can do to keep himself from jumping you immediately. He hops up excitedly to meet you at the door, trying to keep his distance while you unload your things onto the table. He fidgets with his hands, not feeling or hearing the loud thumping of his tail against the wall while he watches you intensely. 

The second you’re empty-handed, Bokuto is on you, wrapping you in a huge bear hug and tucking his face into your neck with a drawn-out needy whine, “Remiiii…” he shifts his face so he doesn’t sound so muffled, “Missed you.” Bokuto’s barely giving you time to think, planting kisses on your face and neck, crowding into you.

🐾🐾

i hope this is alright!! i havent ever rped like this before ive only ever done character x character interactions so lmk if its a little odd or stilted hehe

any outing that required him to stay home always brought an air of anxiety, hoping that he wasn’t missing me too much; or that he was behaving himself- but groceries had to be brought and he was having a hard time as of late keeping his hands to himself. i knew that, but even with knowing, the surprise of his big body and overwhelming kisses didn’t keep me from nearly tumbling into him.

bo!

i gasp, giggling in the way he peppers me in kisses, hands immediately coming up to hold on either side of his neck, feeling the warmth there- a lot warmer than usual.

hi pretty puppy, did you miss me?

i hum, trying to keep him from curling his body onto mine even more- feeling the shift of his hips while his heavy tail wags behind him so much i hope he doesn’t knock anything down.

why are you so warm? did you behave while i was gone?

i wonder out loud- trying to please him by giving him my own kisses.

[deivorous]

@hirako5hinji​ asked: ☺ What's a character that you desperately want your muse to play with? Why? ☹ What's a character that you refuse to play with? Why? ☣ What's one thing that will make you drop a thread?

Questions for the Mun

☺ What's a character that you desperately want your muse to play with? Why?

Hmmmmmmmmmm....

 I really want an Ichigo (when will @ichxgo​ to return from the war and start writing with me again) to write with, but I’m quite particular and haven’t yet found another person who writes Ichigo in a way that I really vibe with. - Im a GrimmIchi shipper at heart and I miss writing their dynamic.

I’d say the same for Aizen. I’ve written a little with Lu and had a really great time with that, but we have different headcanons about how our muses should interact so the itch I have for Aizen isn’t quite satiated. But again. I’m rather picky and haven’t found anyone else that I vibe with as well. - I still feel like I havent uncovered Grimmjows feelings about this man, nor how Aizen recruited him, nor much of Grimmjows backstory at all. And to do this i think I need to write with an Aizen. Also. Self indulgence.

☹ What's a character that you refuse to play with? Why?

I was going to say I don’t have any but I actually do. Baby Nel, Yachiru, Kazui, and idk the name of the rukia/renji girl.

I don’t like writing with children muses. Not really any reason beyond that!

☣ What's one thing that will make you drop a thread?

Hmm, if too much time has passed, usually when I got too busy to reply and it sits in my inbox for a very long time. The threads usually dead by the time I get back to it. I feel pretty guilty when I drop threads - I have some in my drafts that are a year old that I know are done but aaaaaahhH!!!

Otherwise, Unfortunately. If the thread is boring. If there is no purpose for the threat (no specific aim to develop the relationship in a certain way, no plot being followed, no interesting conversation being had) then its really hard to find the energy or creativity to keep writing it.

I try to let people know when its not working for me so I’m not leaving them hanging.

And finally, sometimes fight threads. I find them very difficult to write and both my muses and my own insecurities flare up with fight threads. It makes it difficult and every sentence feels like a challenge. A few threads have died bc I just really struggle to write them! This is something that I’m working pretty hard to get better at tho.

[withcreamandsugar]

Chamisul Chapter 2 | Yabuki Nako

word count: ~1,200

category: fluff with a side of angst 

this is chapter 2!! read 1 if you havent: link also the wattpad!!

a/n: LIGHTNING QUICK update haha i kinda love this scenario can’t wait to see where it goes 👀

Chapter 2: Apple

Since meeting Nako at the convenience store that night, you've made an effort to see her nearly every day for nearly a month. Whether it be dropping off boba tea for her and her members, or hanging out alone (sometimes drunk) with Nako in her room, the two of you became very close friends. There was that subconscious thought in the back of Nako's mind that you might want to be more than that, but she quickly tossed those thoughts aside out of embarrassment (or maybe fear of rejection?)

"Ya, stop dropping chips on my carpet!" Nako yelled, picking up after you. "Do you want ants? That's how you get ants!"

"I'm surprised you guys don't already have ants, those boba cups I bought you last week are still here." you replied, throwing another chip into your mouth.

"Now that I think of it-" Nako snatches the chip bag out of your hand. "-why do we always hang out at my place? What secrets do you keep at yours?" Nako asks with a sly smile, throwing a chip into her mouth but missing, dropping yet another on the ground.

"Oh I sell drugs. A lot of drugs." you reply. "How 'bout... tonight? Come over? I can bake my world famous cookie brownies."

Nako slaps your shoulder. "Then how are you still broke? Cookie brownies huh... that sounds like diabetes on a plate but... I'm in. I have a schedule in an hour but I'll ring your place right after."

"Great." You jumped off Nako's bed and reached for the door out. "It's... a date." You gave Nako a warm smile, and left the room.

Nako bit her lip, feeling the flutter of a thousand butterflies in her chest. "A date, huh..." The rest of her members noted she was in a particularly good mood that day.

Ding dong.

You were busy fixing your hair for the last hour when you heard the door ring. Panicking, you hurriedly ran over to your door, opening it with your elbow.

"Hey!" You opened the door to see Nako wearing a sleek, black dress, complete with a full face of makeup and high heels. "H-hey..." you managed to sputter out, in awe at the sight of the beautiful girl.

"Can I help you pick your jaw off the floor?" Nako giggled, moving her hair behind her ear. "Sorry, I accidentally let slip I was going on a, uh, date and my members insisted I just wear what I wore for the photoshoot."

"No! I mean, you look amazing! Come in, the diabetes is almost ready." You closed the door after her, taking a moment to admire her from behind. You never really noticed it before as Nako usually wore an oversized t-shirt around you, but despite her height she had a particularly voluptuous figure, her curves beautifully accented by the tight dress. Not wanting to look creepy, you quickly averted your gaze towards the oven.

A plate of cookie brownies and many, many glasses of wine later, the two of you ended up talking about each other's love life.

"Am I your first?" Nako sheepishly asked.

"Well, we haven't done it yet but I'm glad you're already thinking ahead," you jeered.

Nako smacks your arm and clarifies, "I meant date, pervert. Anyone before me?"

"There was... this woman back in the US. I don't think about it much." you replied, taking a big swig of wine after saying that.

"Woman?" Nako thought. "At least you're oceans away now. It's a win win, you escaped her and you met me!" Nako joked, noticing your hesitance and trying to cheer you up.

You took her hand and smiled, reassured by her words. "Thanks, for helping me forget. I'm talking to the alcohol by the way, not you."

A bit later, the two of you decided to put on a cheesy romance movie to make fun of. By the end of the movie however, the two of you were nearly bawling cuddled over each other.

"I can't b-believe she sacrificed her life for her..." Nako muttered out, huffing and puffing from tears between each word.

You wiped the tears from both your faces with your sleeves and sat her up. "I thought this movie was supposed to be a comedy... I need another drink. Want some?"

"*sniff* Ahem, yes please. I'll take an apple jui- actually, just another glass of wine." You noticed a hint of hesitation in her voice.

"I've got apple juice, if you really want-" you paused your sentence to see Nako itching away at the dress's strap line and shifting in her seat, clearly uncomfortable. "You can take off that dress now - wait not in that way... er, I mean, I've got a spare hoodie for you somewhere"

"N-no, I'm fine, really." You haven't known Nako for very long but you already knew when she was lying - she always blinked twice and avoided eye contact.

"Nako, I know you're uncomfortable." You reached behind the couch for a particularly well oversized hoodie you kept for emergencies. "Here, wear this, it'll make you look ever more like a kid."

"I said I'm fine." Nako retorted, agitated at something.

"Nako, don't be such a baby-"

"I SAID I'M FINE!" Nako screamed.

The two of you sat in shocked silence, an aura on unease filling the room before Nako began to speak up.

"I-I don't know if this is the alcohol talking but... it was really my idea to wear the dress. All the other members wanted me to wear a schoolgirl outfit, or something. I just- I dunno. It feels like everyone treats me like a kid, like I don't know what's good for me. I'm 20 years old, I can make my own decisions. It's the same for you, Y/N. You've called me a kid, a baby, for so long. I'm not your little sister. I want you to see me as a woman."

You paused for a long time, thinking of what to say in response to Nako's confession. You slowly sit down next to Nako and caress her cheek.

"You don't have to convince me of all people, that you're a woman. You don't have to keep wearing this dress to convince me you're beautiful, either. I've been... holding back this whole time, actually. I love the way you walk, the way your hips inadvertently sway when you're doing something, the way your, er breasts move when you get excited over something".

"I want you. As a woman." you declared.

The two of you sat for what felt like an eternity, before your gazes returned to each other, a new sense of longing in both sets of eyes. As if your confessions didn't even happen and nothing else mattered, Nako took initiative and dived into your arms for an embrace. You took one last look into her eyes, before closing them and leaning in for a passionate kiss. A kiss that made you forget about money, school, other girls. A kiss that cemented your feelings for this girl, no, woman.  A kiss that, as you would find out later, would be the butterfly wings that cause a hurricane down the road.

Breaking away from the kiss, exhausted and breathy yet content, Nako asks, "How about that juice?"

[jungxk]

// rant

i'm jus so heartbroken rn i've been crying for the past hour i jus need to put my feelings out there, i hope it's ok w you.

my mum wakes up today and jus starts berating me bc i didnt put washed dishes into the cabinets & the kitchen looked messy for her. i'm supposed to do it bc there's nothing else i actually do but yesterday i had woken up in the evening nd they called me to pray straight away so i totally forgot about it (coupled w the fact that i dont like doing it either cuz there's always sm dishes nd it's such a hassle). she jus started scolding me senseless nd im someone who doesnt get mad easily, even if i do i tend to stay quiet bc i dont like conflict & angry emotions are ugly. but i couldnt stop it today? she kept calling me selfish nd she's been calling me that the past few days as well bc i never help out w chores or anything. she's always asking me "what do u do for this family" or "what do u do in this house" every single time nd ofc i cant say shit bc i dont. i'm doing uni online nd it's really not that easy but bc i dont talk to my family like at all, they think i'm all good. the other day i pissed them off nd my parents straight up said "why do we need to pay for ur uni ure not doing anything anyway" & i jus... i didnt even know if i even deserve to feel sad over it. they were asking me what i wanna do after uni as if im not just in my first year & when i said im not sure they got so mad and my mum purposely said "just marry her off" to push my buttons into giving them an answer. they keep saying i'm pushing them into being the worst and saying the worst to me but how is that fair? they're parents? adults? i'm jus 20 & i can control my emotions? but today really jus pushed me she got so mad at me for the littlest things nd i jus exploded. I asked her why she's mad and she's like cuz of the kitchen bla bla bla nd it got so frustrating i told her it's not my problem nd i jus wont ever eat again since all the unwashed dishes piling is my fault. nd then she got mad at me for that and scolded me. I hate being touched but mostly i hate being hit. imagine getting hit at 20 years old bc my mother is too emotionally unstable that she cant take a few seconds by herself to calm her anger down. I hate it. nd bc i said it's not my problem she came nd told me "yea it won't be ur problem when i die too! i'll make sure when i do, u never come see me." jus... what kind of parent says that? i'm so careful w what i say & i slip sometimes bc i'm human but how can a mother say that? she doesnt know anything about me. she doesn't know i dont like being hit, she doesnt know i dont like it when ppl act impulsively on emotions. sometimes i feel like i really am the problem nd that i'm really selfish. spending shit ton of money to get me to study, maybe i am selfish. i dont mind it. i know myself well enough to hate things about myself. but to have parents who barely know me as a person rather than a daughter, getting this much mad at me for smthn so simple jus makes me so sad. bc i was doing the task when she asked. she does things like this then wonders why i cant ever talk to her. entire family thinks i'm immature bc i behave exactly how they treat me. 20 years. I never ask for much. but it's starting to feel like asking to study in the uk was my greatest downfall. it feels like i dont deserve this. every day i'm itching to get away, to live alone bc they've made me feel like i can never work well in groups. it's always somehow my fault as if they havent been invalidating me nd my feelings since birth.

nd i can never tell them all these bc i'm never confident in them. i'm never confident in whether i would be accepted nd comforted without ridicule or scolding. my brother & father tell me it's like that, that jus bc i may get a scolding shouldn't stop me from being open. but what kind of stupidity is that? my mother who makes me feel like the world is ending when i accidentally break smthn, that it wasn't an accident but rather it's me nd that i jus cant do a good job— where is the comfort i can ever find coming to her w a problem?

nd bc of that we're not close. bc of that she's closer to my cousins & everyone else really. they've never concerned themselves to talking about family issues w me but when i dont know, they shame me, saying i never bother to ask— how would i know when to ask? should they be telling me when there's smthn going on?

this makes the concept of family so repelling for me. there is inherently no reason to ever have a child that isnt selfish or self fulfilling. what they do as parents is to make them feel as important nd respected as they expect from the child. but it's never like that w south asians. emotions dont exist if ure the child nd apparently getting mad is a norm nd shouldn't stop u from being emotional w someone.

at times i tell myself that i should pay back every penny my parents spent on me. bc sometimes it feels like it's being used to make me act or feel a certain way. i dont wanna feel this way. theyre my parents, i know theyre good people. but i'm so hurt by the things going on nd the things from the past. my mother invalidates me sm. she more or less kinda blamed me for feeling useless and depressed last year. my brother was telling her to go easy on me nd she got so mad & frustrated bc she didnt know what she was doing wrong. "if she feels so useless why doesnt she do anything about it?" like that was such a golden chance for her to have comforted me nd i couldve opened up? but she ruined it nd hurt me again.

last year i lived w her alone nd my dad was in our home country. I was having some troubles w him gone but i dont call or text bc... it always felt like a drag. it never felt like a conversation nd the only time it did was when i complained to him about my mum. so much shit happened between my mum and i & this person advised me to jus write some of my feelings to her. so i wrote her a long letter nd i included saying how not having my dad was hard on me too. flash forward im in my home country & w my dad. i know nobody here bc i didnt grow up here. i'm doing online uni & basically have to stay indoors cuz of covid. she brings that letter up when she was to berate me nd it jus feels so uncomfortable for me? like ok my actions dont line up but i wrote that cuz i was looking for comfort nd understanding. if i knew it was going to be held against me, i would not have done it? "u said it was so hard for u without him, so what do u even do for him here now?"— what can i do? i'm just 20 nd the situation im in is not normal? i'm grateful to be w my dad again but what can i do? &it always freaking comes down to house chores. i try my best. when our maid doesnt come i do my best w my tasks. i know it's not enough but i jus... i dont even know. ig that part of me is selfish nd lazy.

it's so suffocating here. all my feelings are bottled up nd im so scared what that would do to me in the future. but at least i know i'm too selfish to ever spend the rest of my life w someone.

sorry for the long rant. i hope this didnt ruin ur mood or anything i jus need an outlet nd ur blog jus feels so comforting nd welcoming. thank u for listening to me nd my feelings. God bless u really kssjdjsj

i’m rlly sorry this is happening to you bby. idk what race u are but this sounds so much like that asian mentality where emotions are black and white and comfort in any way is out of the question. ur still rlly young tho so ur relationship with ur parents has room to improve i promise. i think it’s rlly important for u to move out whenever u can tho bc that’s what rlly improves the relationship. having said this i do think the way your mum talks to u/treats u is emotionally and mentally abusive so whether you want to uphold that tie with her in the future is ur choice i just rlly hope u get somewhere safe and away from ur family soon x

[adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy]

THE WAY THAT I HAVENT EVEN STARTED YSIJWA BECAUSE IT'S NOT FINISHED YET BUT IM ITCHING TO JUST GO AND READ RHE WHOLE THING RIGHT NOW BUT IM STILL HOLDING BACK CAUSE I DONT REALLY LIKE BEING ON THE EDGE OF NOT KNOWING WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT!!! ALL THE YSIJWA TALK S'NOT REALLY HLHELPING TOO!!! watch me reading all of it after this and be h word and broken at the same time. it's gonna be a vicious cycle for me pea brain.

GIRLFLFKDKDKSKSJSJS IT WONT BE DONE FOR A WHILE LIKE IT DEF WONT BE DONE BY THE END OF THIS YEAR SO I SAY YOU SHOULD START READING NOW OR YOURE GONNA BE WAITING A WHILE SJXNSNSNSJSN also sometimes I forget to tag spoilers sO SNZNSNSNSNAJA

[tenshindon]

*waves* Hi, I'm Silver. I want to write Yamcha more accurately (he seems really nice?), but I haven't the time or money to buy the manga or episodes, so... any tips, I guess? Can you help me? Thank you 🌻💜

hiya !! i’m always happy to talk about yamcha and The Character Of yamcha :) gonna put my thoughts under a read more cause this Might be long:

I havent watched Z or Super in a while but I do watch and read through the original Dragon Ball often so accuracy May Vary due to my trash memory. I’m also going to try to keep the games’ depictions of him out of this since accuracy varies among those.

The first thing I wanna touch on is Yamcha’s ego- especially how it evolves over the series. The main thing to keep in mind is that while he is generally cocky about his fighting abilities (which is a major weakness of his as he underestimates his opponents often and gets in trouble because of that), he’s never overly confidant with himself as a person; he seldom tries to paint himself as a better person in comparison to others and rather keeps realistic skepticism about himself. It’s also worth noting that, depending on how old Yamcha is in your depiction, his awareness for his fighting inadequacy compared to his friends varies (the older he is obviously the more conscious he is).

Next thing I’ma talk bout is something that i see kind of treated inconsistently; Yamcha’s relationship with women and his love life. I feel like a lot of people forget that Yamcha’s defining character trait in Dragon Ball was his gynophobia- he chased Goku and his friends so long for the dragon balls so he could remedy his fear of women. Of course, he eventually does date Bulma as they realize dating each other would resolve their mutual wishes for Shenron (Bulma’s being getting a boyfriend and as mentioned before Yamcha’s fear of women). As we’re all aware though, nearly a decade later Yamcha and Bulma mysteriously separate, and the reason for doing so is never explicitly made clear in canon (I could honestly make a whole separate post on Bulma and Yamcha’s break up- there’s a lot to discuss with it so if anyone wants that let me know lmao). The majority believe that Yamcha was unfaithful which, in review of his whole character, makes literally no sense- even just subtracting his fear of women (though I’ll elaborate on that later). But back on track and in regards to his fear of women, it never fully goes away. It just so happens that he’s most comfortable around Bulma, and since Bulma’s the most prominent female character of the series we tend to forget his fear in the first place. When around other female characters, he’s subtlety more anxious- or at the very least he isn’t so much of a playboy as fanon interprets him to be. One final thing to note is- unless I remember the series wrong (and anyone’s free to correct me on this)- Yamcha’s never implied to have gotten another girlfriend or even a lover at any point. Of course it’s hard to track the intricacies of Yamcha’s life- this is a shonen anime where slice-of-life episodes are limited, and even then Yamcha is far from being a prominent character anymore (post Dragon Ball).

Up next is his loyalty/friendships, methods of handling conflict, and overall courage because in my rat brain these all go hand in hand. Nevertheless, Yamcha’s a devoted friend- he’s shown time and time again to be supportive of his pals and, even in spite of his shortcomings, always does his best to help the gang out. Like i touched on before, as Yamcha gets older, he’s more and more aware just how far behind in training he is in compared to his peers. But that doesn’t stop him from trying to fight off whatever threat’s present. So with that we can infer that even if Yamcha can’t be the absolute best, that’s not going to stop him from at least trying if it means helping his friends or making them feel better. Additionally, he’s quick to stand up for others, even if he doesn’t know them too well or even at all and he’s shown not to hold onto grudges. One thing to remember is that, presumably for 16 years, Yamcha’s only companion was Puar (that’s not even considering his life before meeting her) and most interactions he has with people involve robbing them. His social skills might not be the best (though that doesn’t mean he can’t act socially capable- he clearly has no issue trying to make Beerus feel comfortable and like a friend at Bulma’s party) but again, his social skills varies with age and the situation. But again, referring back to his readiness to defend others, he isn’t afraid of getting into conflict if it means helping someone else.

Last few topics I’m going to talk about are his relationships with property, finances, and goals- they seem like a small topics but I still want to talk about it. Now hopefully we’re all familiar with Yamcha’s beginnings of being a desert bandit- and seeing his methods of obtaining items, he didn’t try to charm his victims into giving him their stuff. He just took it if he could if he couldn’t intimidate them and retreated if he couldn’t get what he wanted (which is also noteworthy of Yamcha’s awareness of his limits- a bit contradictory to his fighting ego but it seems that if Yamcha’s certain he isn’t able to win something, then he’ll save himself if it means delaying a goal or staying alive). He doesn’t seem to mind playing the long game either, as he’s willing to tail Goku and co. for months as he waits for them to gather the dragon balls without ever letting his true intentions slip. When it comes to finances, Yamcha doesn’t seem to care to heavily about them: back in the desert, Puar mentions to Yamcha that he should wish for money to which Yamcha dismisses it quickly, stating he could just steal money if he really needed it. It’s also worth noting that despite being a successful baseball player by Super, Yamcha chooses to live in a modest apartment. Either he’s very paranoid with money and, despite having enough to buy a full house, chooses to live in a cheaper apartment building or he’s more comfortable with smaller living spaces- which makes sense since he’d lived nearly two decades in a desert cave and had to scavenge for supplies (plus he seems to still think fondly of the desert as he has a painting of such in his apartment).

For the TL;DR version of this post, here’s essentially what you should keep in mind when portraying yamcha:

He’s generally a very lax, simple, and sociable person when he wants to be- though a bit socially awkward when he isn’t prepared

He’s not egotistical, but he has a bad habit of underestimating his enemies at times. this changes over time of course.

While he’s not itching for conflict, he is loyal and quick to stand up for friends and strangers alike

He acknowledges he isn’t the best, but that doesn’t stop him from trying

He’s ambitious and seldom gives up on his goals

He cares little for huge amounts of wealth or property and generally is just trying to get by in life comfortably

While not cripplingly petrified of women post DB, he still maintains a mild anxiety around women he doesn’t know- even around women he does know pardon Bulma he’s still a bit on edge

I’m done with my character study using the anime and manga, but I like talking about Yamcha so below this little buffer I’m going to get into how the games portray him. I might’ve forgot something or got some things wrong so feel free to talk to me about that if you want to. Anyways, you can stop reading if the above is all you’re concerned with- regardless if you keep reading or not, I wish you the best of luck in writing Yamcha ! :)

If you’re still reading, join me in my continuous ramble of the Rubix cube of Yamcha’s character because Toei and Toriyama can’t be consistent.

Something that seems to be portrayed a significant amount is that Yamcha’s aware of his charm and that he uses this to advantage to smooth talk his way out of situations- not that he just so happens to be good looking and endearing and his panicked socialization just happens to work out for him. In regards to his way of talking out of situations, that’s honestly something I could see if Yamcha acknowledges he’s against a threat much greater than his fighting abilities will allow him to handle- and it’s not like he doesn’t consider himself attractive, if we’re to take his reaction to losing his tooth as anything (in case you aren’t aware, he curses Goku for ruining his “beautiful” face). An example of this is most prominent is his interaction with Frieza in FighterZ, where Frieza remarks that Yamcha is both “handsome and sensible”, to which Yamcha attempts to keep the conversation casual so as to not have to fight (which he later points out to Goku once the latter urges that the three of them should just start fighting already). Though I’m sure his first reaction isn’t to talk his way out of something- he’ll just do it if the opportunity presents itself.

I obviously take huge issue with Yamcha’s portrayal of being a womanizer- his major goal was to settle down, get married, and live out the rest of his life with someone. So for him to be portrayed as having to juggle girlfriends is a bit strange to say the least. You could maybe argue that Yamcha hypes himself up to be a lady’s man as a way to cope with his anxiety (fake it til you make it y’know) but I have little faith in the characterization in Dragon Ball games and for them to think that complexly- plus, again, it contradicts with his humble and awkward personality.

Aside from these two notes, that’s all I have to say. so I’m done- forreal this time.

[turntechcatnip]

Alright, so walking AND flying are non-negotiable. Which means you're pretty much trapped with what many people would consider the most controlling version of Dirk Strider (and that's saying something because we've got HAL) and that's worrying even if he IS trying to be better now, so umm… how you holding up, there? Need any help? *proceeds to send tons of cat toys to the apartment to satiate the boredom*

<View Mewssage History>

You check your phone, looking for the next message. And then the next. And the next. Your feet swing idly dozens of stories above the streets far below.

Okay fine. 

You’re going to actually do this.

You’ll start tackling these ones.

It was sort of inevitable anyway, especially with you droppin’ his presence into casual conversation like that

TC: im holdin up feline

TC: additional toys would be appureciated espurrecially if you can find a durable scratching post beclaws i can file down my nails but thats no fun if ya f33l me and like none of the others ive found short of just shredding boxes comes anywhere near scratchin the itch of a good ol fashioned cave wall or a tree and im starting to eye the concrete up here like damn

TC: bro never bothered to replace the TV or the xbox so like im criminally low on non internet based activikitties though i do wonder if my claws wouldnt get in the way them controllers are made fur human hands not troll and im purrty sure i have troll hands

TC: tho i gotta clear something up here

TC: i wouldnt say he was ever really controlling???

TC: not in a you better do shit this way or else im gonna micromanage everything you do way

TC: it was more a hes gonna do whatever he wants to do and you better deal way

TC: which to be fair isnt much better for a kid who doesnt really know any better or have any agency or ability to do shit his own way and younger me kinda took it as gospel and yeah i got shit to unpack that im kinda doing my best to ignore right now but

TC: pounce was kinda worse about that t33b33aych

TC: shed grab me by the flockin neck and drag me back inside the den by force if a curious kitten got too adventurous and ive b33n pinned and growled at fur bein reckless and yes threatened with t33th but it was her job 

TC: like i say he doesnt like me up here on the roof

TC: but does he stop me???

TC: no

TC: im turnin into a real life gargoyle and he does nuthin except make a passing comment about telescopes or helicopters the one time he was in the room as i headed up

TC: i could purrobably even leave if i wanted to go out walking tbh

TC: hed argue with me

TC: id likely drag the most words out of him in said argument than ive gotten in a w33k and purrobably the most f33lin out of him

TC: and if im being honest the semi-chaotic curious af kitten in me is tempted to actually pull that birdshit just to see what happawns

TC: but i sincerely believe he wouldnt stop me if i pushed back

TC: whether thats beclaws he doesnt care enough to stop me or beclaws were both avoiding the hell out of anyfang even remotely resembling confurtontation is up in the air though

TC: i dont plan on testin it beclaws i think hes right this time

TC: ...

Control huh.

TC: i dont know if bro ever wanted control of anything much less the life of another person

TC: the only thing he was remotely anal about was the training and...

TC: games done so thats a nonissue

TC: i havent s33n him draw his sword once since i got here

TC: not even when i managed to sneak up on him

In a twisted way you miss it. The training. And it isn’t something you like to think about. About how you’re pretty sure you loved him for it because that meant he’d pay attention to you you you.

Maybe some of that birdshit you spouted is the result of an internalized need to defend your brother. Maybe some of it is steeped in a cultural clash between parent and lusus. (Bro might be a shit parent but part of you wonders if he should have been a lusus instead.) Maybe some of it is just what you desperately want to believe, and you aren’t a thirteen year old anymore. You’ve died too many times. You’ve watched him die in front of you and you--

You didn’t--couldn’t think about him before. About that choice you made about the One Thing you could fix, and questions, so many questions that ate the hell out of you for three long years, kindling to your fires of self loathing.

Questions you could ask now, but don’t. And maybe that’s okay for now. You have time.

Time.

Stolen time. Locked away here in this world-that-should-be-dead.

Time.

For the longest time, you didn’t think he cared about you at all. You have some evidence to the contrary now, and that’s more than you’d ever expected to get considering in every glimpse you’d seen of that moment you always chose to leave him dead. Because it was your job.

...and yet here you both are. After.

Playing cluckbeast. Seeing how far you can push until one or both of you chicken out and dance away.

[marvelouswritee]

Birthday Boy

Tom Holland x Reader (Birthday Special- it is his birthday, after all)

gif: @tomhollandcouk (better to give them some credit)

warning: none. tease- not exactly but it was leading there. 

summary: reader throws tom a surprise party and gives him a gift of his life.

author’s note: i don’t use ‘author’s note’ so much. in fact, this is the first time i’ve used it lol. but! i havent’ posted in a month (sorry). and i wish i could have added tom saying, “this is the best birthday gift, ever” but i didn’t so yay. then, happy birthday, tom! lastly, i could have done better if i put much more effort- not that i didn’t put effort- but i was speeding into writing it and i want to post it before it turns to midnight, which, by then, his birthday was over. sorry for not posting too much. i’m trying. i just have too much books waiting to be read (who else relates?) i dont’ usually put a really long note but there’s a first time for everything and anything!  also, this is my FIRST IMAGINE of anyone other than queen so hope anyone reads it. and SORRY FOR THIS REALLY LONG NOTE. 

masterlist

not revised. 

enjoy!

---

The door creaks open, indicating your boyfriend just got home from his work. You hear him drop his heavy bag on the ground. “Babe, I’m home!” he yells out. “Are you here?” The house is pitch-black, making him believe that you’re either asleep from waiting for him or you’re not home, which you know makes him sad since he hasn’t seen you in months for re-shooting his new movie. Despite that never admits it, he misses you every time he comes home and you’re not home. 

He sighs, fatigued from the hard work of being an actor. His fingers reached for the light switch and, as his index finger flick the switch up, all of his friends and family exclaims, which surprises him, “Surprise!” His expression was shocked and a hint of confusion but when he saw you, holding a birthday cake with Happy Birthday, Tommy! boldly written on it, his face light up. Exactly twenty-three candles surround the chocolate cake, just like Tom likes.

“You did this for me?” Tom smiles, reaching for a hug, but instead kisses you firmly kisses you on your lips. A crowd awed their favorite couple.

“Yeah,” you lightly laugh, thinking of having a successful surprise for Tom. “Make a wish.” The crowd sang ‘Happy Birthday’ with beams lighting up their faces. You were proud to be Tom’s girlfriend, knowing your life did a complete turn when you met him. Knowing you can make him happy in his lowest and knowing he can do the same for you. You love him with all your heart but you’re afraid to say it.

When he was gone shooting, all you can think about was how can you say the three most powerful and terrifying words to him. You don’t want your relationship with Tom to break because you said the three words too early or he wasn’t ready or he just doesn’t love you. Multiple situations filled your head for weeks. Maybe he doesn’t love me. Maybe he doesn’t like me. Maybe he’s breaking up with me the moment I want to say it. You didn’t want to take the risk, but it’s just something you can’t get off your head.

Tom tightly closed his eyes, fishing a wish in his head. I wish… He opens his eyes and sees you with the beam in your face, the love in your eyes, and the lines appearing on the side of your eyes from your big smile. To give love the person in front of me forever. Then, he blows the twenty-three candles for him, the twenty-three-year-old birthday boy.

***

The birthday party has ended and most of the people have gone home like Tom’s actor friends that have an early shooting to do first thing in the morning. For Tom’s family, though, they have a hotel room already waiting for them since the apartment you share with Tom can’t afford a whole family due to its one bedroom. Thanks to you, you prepared a room for Nikki and Dominic and a separate room for Sam, Harry, and Paddy.

Already laying in bed, you watch Tom jump beside you with a groan. He was shirtless, only wearing shorts, with his glasses on. “That was crazy,” he now sighs, placing his arms around you to cuddle. He tilted his head to yours, “But, thank you, though.” He places soft kisses repeatedly on your temple and travels to your lips then to your neck.

“Tom?” you break the noise of kisses.

“Yeah?” he breathes to your neck and stops, facing you in the eyes, showing you he’s ready to listen to whatever you’re about to say. It’s one of the things you love about Tom. He’s not the type of guy, like the previous ones you’ve dated, where they just continue and doesn’t stop. You love that he’s passionate but he can identify the right time. It’s like he can just read your mind.

“I love you,” you said with all your breath in. You hesitated at first but just the look on Tom’s face. Trust. Love. At first, his face was blank, unreadable. You didn’t know if he was going to move away and tells you that he isn’t ready. It was the only viable option in your mind.

But, then, his face lights up like any time you see him. His lips turned into a grin. His eyes shined with love when he responds, “I love you, too.”

The sigh of relief you let out just a second later made him chuckle. You feel your cheeks burn, having to hear someone say it to you without faking it is music to your ears and to your heart. It seems like Tom does love you, just like you love him.

“That’s a relief. I don’t know what I would have done if you said you don’t love me,” you let out the truth. Tom gives you a peck and smirks. You love the side of Tom that just smiles the whole time he’s with you. When he saw you holding the cake. When his friends informed him about how you set up the whole birthday party. When you gave his family a hotel room so they have a place to stay for the night and gave them plane tickets back home. When Harrison, Jacob, and some of his other friends told him that you brought them a trip to go scuba diving. Your generous acts make his heart beat for you. It makes crazy in love.  How could I not love her?

“Well, then. Let me show you.” You knew that smirk and the nefarious line he always says. It’s his code to a night full of lust. You got on top of him, supported by his arms, and took off his glasses. You smirked and placed his glasses on his nightstand. You kissed him with hunger. The itch that hasn’t been scratch for months of him being away and only seeing him through the phone. You love him and he loves you. You didn’t want to spend the night with anyone besides Tom. You didn’t want to spend your life without him. Forever.