#i know i should be grateful i was even able to go to the concert. and i still had fun but part of me will always be heartbroken

[rosesradio]

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[inkskinned]

im having a particularly terrible night with urges and imagery that i dont know how to handle. i gave in to some things. held back on some others. but im barely holding on, dear internet stranger.

you do not owe me your time or your words.. but if you could write some hope into existence for me.. i would be unendingly grateful to you.

please. tell me how you do it. tell me how you survive. because im not so sure i can get through the fifteen days it'll take to get to my seventeenth birthday.

could you please give me something to place my faith in? i dont think the universe is watching out for me anymore.

i don't usually answer these, because i am not a professional, and you deserve professional help. when i was 17 i was terrified of the idea of professional help, because my household was extremely unsafe, and made it clear that if i ever chose to get help, i would be punished for it.

i hope this is not your case. i hope that you can call someone, and they can take you where you should go.

but i will give you the advice that i wish i got, when i couldn't get help at 17, when i was so bad that years later, i literally don't-know-how-i-survived it: what you want is peace, not death. your brain is sick. it has romanticized an ending where there are no consequences. where effort isn't necessary. where you can just... forget.

you want peace. that is a normal, human thing to want. maybe it feels more like you want quiet. or just... to take a break for a second.

here is what i will say: to end yourself means you never get to experience what it's like to actually be happy. i thought i knew what it was like, and i was bitter about it. i'd say - i've been happy, it's not worth it, because i didn't know what i was missing. i thought that happiness meant having a partner or having a job or money or a college degree. it sounded like effort. it sounded like something that had to happen to me.

for the first time in my life, just this week, i was able to go to a concert and just-enjoy-it. no liquor, no drugs. just stomping my feet and getting caught up in it. i didn't feel nervous or self-conscious or overwhelmed. i just had a good time. these days have a lot of these firsts for me - it is the first time i can eat cake without crying. it is the first time i can be around an exacto blade without supervision. it is the first time i have too many people to call when i am crying.

i can't tell you where you'll run into happiness, only that, for me, it started once i was out of that fucking house. it started once i figured out where the pain was coming from. once i figured out that i was not possessed, something medical was wrong with me. that i am not stupid or lazy, i have depression and adhd. the first few years were difficult. at 19, during my efforts to recover, i actually got worse by a considerable margin. and then, with time and patience - i got better.

happiness doesn't feel like what you think it will. in movies it's so golden and all-encompassing. but it doesn't fly into your hands when you buy your first car nor does it arrive in the arms of a partner nor does it require passing your classes. happiness came to me on a tuesday in the form of a red-winged blackbird, and i looked at her, and she looked at me, and i said - oh. the whole world suddenly filled itself in with color. like i had been forever-asleep. like every corner of every room was suddenly glistening.

it ended quickly, back then. it just stopped in to check in on me. but it was enough - this thing i had never experienced, but that i knew (logically) could happen. before that, i was only staying because it would make my mom sad if i died. that was my only reason. and then the happiness came, so strange and brilliant and lovely that for years i couldn't even look at it directly.

these days, things are so different. life is so much easier. i don't wish for death because so much of what i have is already at peace. my boss understands when i need a mental health day. people in general are less prone to high school drama. entire communities hold my hand and have my number. i have a car and a dog and a little apartment garden and candles on all available surfaces and today i bought myself a little cake just-to-celebrate-nothing. my body is my own and we are both dancing.

there are so many things i've gotten to taste in the last 10 years. i know, for you, that is an eon, because it's more than half of your life. but if it helps? in the 5 years between 17-21: i filled myself with laughter and love. i got to be a lead in a ballet and got my first tattoo and then my second and pierced my ears the way i'd wanted to (one of them professionally the other over a hot stove with a potato) and i discovered hozier is my favorite singer (i know. he was new back then) and i got my first real job and my first real paycheck and i hadn't ever been seen as smart but then i started to actually treat my adhd as a condition rather than a burden and people started saying you're like the smartest person in the room and my best friend met her husband who i will one day stand next to as maid of honor when he is her groom and i got to help people and make a stupid blog called "inkskinned" and find out that writing is actually my passion and that maybe i'm actually kind of good at it if i just practice and i got to meet my parents' dog (his name is kaiju) and i slept on couches and kissed people and tried new things and learned how to breathe without feeling my chest tighten and that peace is here, on this planet, that peace echoes everywhere, it is in my hair and my homework and my houseplants, it is quiet and divine and mine because i fought for it and i built it and yes i lost hair over it but holy shit the whole world feels like it is shifted through a sunbeam

recently someone asked me if i could go back in time to 6th grade, with all the knowledge i have now, would i? and without thinking, i barked absolutely not. i know i should say it's because i wouldn't want to risk losing any of this stuff - but really it's because i would never survive being a teenager again. it sounds incredibly lame and impossible, fake - but being a teenager was the hardest thing i ever did. i had no voice, no control, only fear and hatred.

but i did survive it. nothing about me is special. nothing about me is stronger than you or better prepared or more efficient. i didn't survive it perfectly. i made a lot of mistakes and lost a lot of friends and harmed myself in ways that i'm still recovering from. but i did survive it. and there is a part of me looking at you in the past and saying - i'm you in the future.

and holy shit. every day. every goddamn day i'm glad we survived to see the rest of it. because you hit 18 and everything changes. like, everything. and holy shit, it is infinitely worth it.

[dragonmama76]

Eddie and Corroded Coffin are back in Indy for the last stop on their first national tour.  It’s been a whirlwind and they are grateful to have a night off at home before their last concert.  Even though they are physically exhausted, no one wants to sit in the hotel.  Gareth calls down the desk and asks the concierge to suggest some up and coming places they might take in a show and a list is sent up right away.  Looking it over, they decide on Greener Pastures which has a drag cabaret.  The concierge made a note that it was a new break out hit with a wildly talented headliner.  

Fame will get you everywhere, so their manager, Chrissy, calls the club to make sure they won’t be standing in line to get in and they are assured that they will be able to slip in before the official opening of the night.  

Robin Buckley generally loves her job as the weekend floor manager at Greener Pastures.  Even though in real life she is still a bit socially awkward, here she plays her part with ease.  Dressed in a fashionable, tailored suit with her hair slicked back and some heavy eye makeup she has a confidence that she fervently wished she could carry into her personal life.  But when she gets the call from the manager of Corroded Coffin she can feel the facade slipping a bit.  Assuring her that getting them in quickly and quietly is no problem, her brain starts to go into overdrive.  But this is her job and she knows how to execute.  First stop is the doorman.  “Harry, we have some VIPs coming in soon.  You know Corroded Coffin?  Well we are hosting all four of them tonight.  Please walkie me when their car pulls up and go ahead and let them in right away.”  “Sure thing, Rob!”  Harry replies, nodding agreeably.  Second stop is her lead waitress.  Robin instructs her to sit them at a front table and make sure they get the best service.  And then finally, well, she has to tell Steve.   

Steve stares at Robin, his mouth open just a little.  “I’m sorry, what?  It sounded like you just said that Eddie was coming to see the show.  You can’t possibly mean our Eddie.”  

“I do.  I do mean our Eddie.  Eddie Munson.  Corroded Coffin front man and our old pal Eddie.”  

“How?  I mean….do you think he KNOWS??”

“How should I know??”  Robin throws up in her incredulously.  “Their manager called and said they were coming and could we make sure to have space for them and maybe let them in early and I just said great and of course and no problem and now I’m here talking to you.”  

“Okay, Rob, breathe.  I’m sorry.  Don’t get stressed.  You just go out and do your job and I’ll do mine and it will be totally fine.  We’ll see him and he’ll probably recognize us and it will be just fine.  It’s not like what we do here is a secret, we just haven't seen him since he left.”  

Robin nodded.  “I know you keep saying it will be fine and I’m sure it will be.  Fine.  Of course it will.  I mean, look at us!  He may be a rockstar but WE are fucking amazing ourselves.  You’re practically famous in this town as it is.”  

Steve smiled big, “That’s the spirit!  Hey!  Let’s do the VIP number tonight for his table.  Make sure Maria sets it up, ‘kay?  Love you Rob, but I have to get ready!”  

Eddie and the guys are having a great time enjoying the show.  The singers are all fantastic and the performance is top notch.  Plus the service is some of the best they’ve ever had.  Their waitress is attentive and friendly.  He makes a mental note to thank whoever it was that suggested they come out here tonight. 

Suddenly the lights go out and the announcer’s voice booms out,  “And now, our very own, the lovely Miss Stevie!”

The music starts with a quiet riff and suddenly the spotlight shines in front of Eddie.  Miss Stevie is sitting on a stool that’s been placed right in front of Eddie.  She gives him a big wink and sings,  

The minute you walked in the joint, I could see you were a man of distinction, a real big spender.

Eddie sucks in a breath and can feel a blush rising.  He enjoys a man in drag, but he wouldn’t say it’s normally an attraction for him.  This is a definite exception.  

Good looking, so refined. Say, wouldn’t you like to know what's going on in my mind?

Miss Stevie was something else.  Gorgeous brown eyes and a teasing smirk.  Tall sparkly heels, fishnets, babydoll slip dress.  She reminded him of someone, but his mind couldn’t hold on to a coherent thought.  She was singing right at him and he never wanted her to stop.  

So let me get right to the point, I don’t pop my cork for every guy I see.  Hey big spender!  Spend a little time with me.

As the chorus of ladies came in to pick up the song, Steve leaned down to whisper in Eddie’s ear, “Hey man, if you want to come backstage later and say hi,  just let Rob know” Indicates Robin with flourish and a wink, and hops gracefully back on stage to continue the song.  All the while flirting with Eddie for everyone to see.  

The song ends and Eddie applauds enthusiastically, wanting it to never end, but also hoping it would end quickly so he could go meet this beauty.  

A couple songs and an encore later and Miss Stevie finally struts off-stage for the last time that night, blowing a kiss to Eddie as she leaves.  

Robin heads over to Eddie.  “Mr. Munson, Miss Stevie mentioned you might want a private tour backstage?”  The guys hoot and holler while Eddie blushes, but he eagerly agrees to go. Turning to the guys he shoos them out the door,  “Okay, alright, I guess I’ll see you guys bright and early tomorrow!  Don't get into any trouble on the way back to the hotel.”

Robin is already moving at a brisk pace, so Eddie picks it up, never quite managing to catch up to her as they move around tables and down a dim hallway past open doors with performers kicking back after the show.  Finally, they get to the last door and Robin knocks once and enters.  

Steve is at his makeup vanity, wig off, carefully wiping his face when he catches a glimpse of Eddie trailing behind Robin. He turns grinning, and in his best Southern accent says, “Why, Eddie Munson, as I live and breathe!”

Eddie does a double take, “STEVE HARRINGTON??  What the HELL, man??”

Steve and Robin collapse in a fit of giggles while Eddie just stares.  

When the fit of laughter eventually subsides amid comments like, “Your face, man!  I wish Jonathan was here to capture this all on film!”  and “I thought you would have at least recognized Robin, though!” 

 “Yeah, what’s up with that one??  Have I changed that much since high school??” Robin demanded.  Eddie sputtered,  “It was dark in there!  And no offense, Buckley, but you were NOT who I was paying attention to.  Christ, Steve, how does the King of Hawkins High become the reigning Queen of Indianapolis?”

“Couldn’t take your eyes off me, huh, big boy?”  Steve purrs, and enjoys watching Eddie turn a delectable shade of red. 

[dntaewithluv]

Private Lesson | myg

Your little sister finds it odd how you've been taking private lessons from her piano teacher for over a month now, but she hasn't heard you actually play even once...

🎹 Pairing: pianoteacher/pianist!yoongi x reader

🎹 Word Count: 5.5k

🎹 Rating: 18+

🎹 Genre: Friends with benefits to lovers, piano teacher/pianist au, smut, fluff, minor drama/angst

🎹 Warnings: Y/N is lying to her younger sister, explicit language, we love secretly hooking up with our sister's hot piano teacher 🤩, making out, biting/marking, Yoongi has some dom tendencies, groping, there's an actual piano lesson and it's wholesome until it's not™️, Yoongi plays his sabotage card 😈, explicit sexual content, lots of teasing/taunting, rubbing, fingering, multiple orgasms, cum eating/feeding, oral (f receiving), hair pulling, scratching, brief handjob, unprotected sex (pls be safe), sex on top of Yoongi's first love (the piano 👀), it's fluffy and wholesome at the end, Y/N lets Yoongi keep her underwear, really the only drama/angst is because they're hooking up in secret oof

A/N: Funny how I forget this man owns me until I see him again and then it's painfully clear 🥹 This was inspired by and spiraled into this™️ after the YTC concert this weekend. It felt really good to be inspired and motivated to write something again, so I really hope you enjoy this if you decide to check it out 🥰 Thank you as always for your patience and kindness and support I purple you always 💜

Masterlist

“Okay, Faith, I’m heading out.” you called out as you made your way towards the front door, “Should be back in an hour or so.”

Your fifteen-year-old sister, seated at the kitchen table, looked up from her phone, “You know, I really just don’t understand why you don’t just sign up for one of his classes. I know he offers them specifically for adults. It’d probably be way cheaper than whatever you’re paying for all these private lessons.”

You laughed at her remark, trying your best not to let your nerves show.

“I told you, I don’t feel comfortable playing in front of other people. Too much pressure, and too many pairs of eyes on you. Having one person there makes me nervous enough.”

Your little sister stared back at you, seeming to search your face for some answer to whatever she was looking for.

“Yeah, but, Y/N, you won’t even play in front of me. And I’m your sister. You’d think after six weeks worth of lessons, you’d at least be able to do that. Wouldn’t it be cool for us to be able to play something together sometime?”

You felt a twinge of guilt pierce you at her words and the look on her face. You nervously chewed on your bottom lip as you wracked your brain for a response that would satisfy her.

“Tell you what, Faith. I’ll ask Yoo-I mean Mr. Min to teach me one of the pieces you guys are working on in class, and we’ll try to play together soon. Sound good?” you proposed, hoping it would suffice for now.

Faith’s expression shifted, and you were grateful to see that she didn’t look nearly as upset.

“Yeah, okay, sounds good. Have a good lesson.” she said with a small smile before turning back to her phone.

You waited to let out your sigh of relief until you were on the other side of the door. Well that had been fucking close.

Your anxiety only grew more heightened as you pulled up to the familiar condo. No longer feelings of guilt, but of excitement and anticipation. You felt yourself walk a little too fast up to the door, finger immediately reaching out to push the doorbell. You held your breath as you always did when the door was being swung open. And then there he was.

It was truly unfair how hot he looked today and every time you saw him. He had a plain white tee tucked into a pair of high waisted black pants, a single silver chain hanging from his neck. His long, dark, gorgeous locks cascaded down either side of his handsome face. Every single part of you was buzzing.

“And here I was starting to think that maybe you were going to stand me up for our lesson.” he greeted you, eyes giving you a very obvious once over.

Heat washed over you.

“You know I would never.” you voiced, a hint of playfulness in your tone, “I need the practice, and you and I both know it.”

An amused smirk took over his features, “You know I’m always more than happy to oblige a student in need. Please, come in, and we can get started.”

You sauntered past him and into the condo, feeling his gaze on you all the while. No sooner had he closed the door behind you, than you were being pushed up against it, Yoongi hastily crashing his lips against your own. You matched his urgency as your mouths moved together, and your hands slid up into his midnight strands.

He was always more worked up, more rough, anytime you were late. Anytime you had kept him waiting. Today was no exception as he practically swallowed you, his fingers surely making imprints across the skin of your hips from how hard he was pushing you against the door.

His teeth nipped harshly at your lips as his tongue tangled messily with yours. That wild look you had come to know all too well over the past six weeks was present in his dark eyes when he suddenly pulled back from you.

“Well, shit.” you rasped, laughing slightly, “I missed you too.”

Yoongi’s response was to begin hungrily kissing down your neck, and you sighed out as you held him against you.

“You were all I could think about all fucking day.” he murmured as his lips seared against your skin.

“Mmm, you might’ve crossed my mind a time or two.” you teased back, and Yoongi growled against your neck before sinking his teeth into you.

You cried out, your head falling back against the door. He pushed one of his legs between yours and pressed his thigh against you, making you let out a whimper as his tongue simultaneously soothed the spot on your neck. His leg pressed harder and you gasped sharply, “You really wanna be a brat today? After you were already late? Think carefully about your decision, darling.”

It probably wouldn’t be the best idea to be honest. And you knew you would struggle to come up with a reason to explain to Faith why you couldn’t walk the next day…

“No…no. I’ll be good, Yoongi.”

He kissed you just behind your ear, hot breath hitting your skin, “Smart girl. Looks like I’ve been teaching you something these last several weeks after all.”

He immediately went back to sucking color into your neck as his fingers slipped beneath your sun dress and began trailing up the inside of your thigh. His other hand roughly pulled down the strap of your dress to expose your shoulder and some of your chest. Your mind was starting to go fuzzy. The way it always did when you were with Yoongi. But the mention of his teaching reminded you of your promise to Faith.

“Yoongi.” you tried, but it came out as a moan from the way his teeth scraped against your collarbone.

His free hand groped at your breast over your clothes while his fingers started to dip between your thighs. It wouldn’t be long before you would be lost in your pleasure. Lost in him.

“Yoongi, wait.”

You’d actually managed to find your voice this time, and Yoongi was immediately pulling back to look at you as his hand retreated out from underneath your dress.

“Darling, what is it?” he queried, concern briefly flashing across his handsome features.

“It’s just…it’s my sister.”

Yoongi’s eyes went wide, “Wait, does Faith know about us?”

“No, no.” you reassured him quickly, “At least I don’t think she does. But, she is starting to wonder why after six weeks of lessons that she hasn’t heard me play. Like, at all.”

You watched as Yoongi processed this information, and marveled at how cute his thinking face was. You desperately wanted to be kissing him again, but it would have to wait for now.

“So, what you’re saying is, that you think our weekly “piano lessons” should actually be used for piano lessons?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at you.

“I mean, we can definitely still have sex. But I do think I should at least start becoming more familiar with the piano if we wanna keep this under wraps like we have been.” you explained further, looping your arms around Yoongi’s neck as you talked.

His hands came to rest on your hips once again, “You know, darling, I think I have the perfect solution.”

This time you lifted your eyebrows at him. You knew he was fucking with you, but you still decided to ask anyway.

“Oh, and what solution is that?”

Yoongi gripped you harder, making your dress bunch up slightly in his hold.

“I could fuck you on my piano. That would definitely help you become more familiar with it.” he mused, his tongue darting out to wet his lips.

You rubbed your thighs together before you could stop yourself, and Yoongi, of course, noticed immediately. You quickly tried to defuse the rapidly mounting tension.

“Yoon, I’m serious about this. It’s really important to my sister, and at least this way what I’m telling her won’t be a complete lie. Just teach me some of the basics so I have something to show from all these “lessons”. Pleeeeeeease Yoonie.” you pleaded sweetly, and the piano teacher revealed his gums when he smiled at you.

“Alright, alright. You’re right, it probably wouldn’t be a bad idea. And if anyone’s gonna teach you, it should be me.” he relented before taking both of your hands and leading you over to one of the many pianos he had in his luxurious condo.

This particular one was displayed right by his wall of glass windows. Sunlight filtered through the panes and fell on the inviting instrument. Yoongi gestured for you to take a seat on the bench, and you let out a slightly nervous giggle before sitting down. You only missed his warmth for a second before he was right next to you, hip bumping against yours.

His fingers hovered over the keys with such a natural grace, and all you could do was stare at him in awe for a moment. He belonged here. That was clear as day. He positioned his foot on the pedal below, closed his eyes, and began to play. The notes were soft and delicate, as was his touch against the keys.

He looked so beautiful like this, and you felt your breath catch in your chest. It was as if he and the instrument were one and the same, sharing the same soul. He was lost in it, and the music was lost in him. Out of everything you and Yoongi had done since the two of you had started hooking up, this, this, felt the most intimate.

You were overcome with the sudden realization that you were starting to fall in love with him, and nothing had ever scared you more in your entire life. Yoongi’s eyes suddenly fluttered open, and you weren’t prepared for the calm intensity in them when he turned to you. Without taking his hands off the keys, he leaned over and gently brought his lips to yours.

You felt yourself flush furiously because this was a different kind of kiss. Not the kind that had heat surging through you and craving more, more, more. The kind that made your heart stutter in your chest and sent every part of you fluttering. A kiss that made you think that maybe, just maybe, he was starting to fall for you too.

The two of you broke apart, but the closeness remained.

“I don’t know if I ever told you,” Yoongi began softly, warm breath hitting your lips, “but the piano was actually my first love.”

He grew shy suddenly, cheeks heating at the admission as his hands froze over the keys. He had really shown you something so precious. Something that was at the very core of who he was. All you could think about was how honored and lucky you felt that he had chosen to share it with you.

You smiled warmly at him, “Well, then, I’m honored to meet her. Thank you for sharing this with me. You really play so beautifully.”

He blushed deeper, and his gums poked out when he grinned bashfully back at you. The moment felt as delicate as the notes he’d just been pulling from the piano. You found yourself wanting to stay in it for as long as possible. But then Yoongi suddenly cleared his throat and brushed his hands nervously over his pants.

“Okay, your turn now.”

“You really expect me to follow that up?” you questioned back, the nerves beginning to settle over you once more.

Yoongi chuckled, the sound dancing in his eyes, “Of course not. I’m just gonna show you some basic scales.”

You playfully bumped his shoulder with your own.

“Show off.” you remarked teasingly.

“Don’t act like I didn’t just woo the fuck out of you with my piano skills.” he quipped back, flashing you a cocky smirk.

You rolled your eyes, but couldn’t stop the smile that spread across your face, betraying you.

“Okay, fine. Consider me wooed. I guess you can court me now or whatever. After our lesson of course.” you reminded him, and Yoongi swept his hand over the top of the keyboard as if to say “All yours”.

As promised, Yoongi taught you some of the basic scales. It was honestly so hard to concentrate though because there was something so sexy about when he went into teacher mode. Especially once he covered your hands with his own to guide them over the keys. Your brain just went completely blank anytime his hands were on you.

“You know, you could always just join one of my classes. If you wanted to.” he voiced as he helped maneuver your hands.

“Yeaaaaah, something tells me I wouldn’t be able to learn very much. I’d be too distracted by the hot teacher.” you replied cheekily.

Yoongi’s grip on your hands tightened briefly, and you smirked to yourself. But then he switched to teasingly trailing his fingers over your hands and up your arms and back down again, sending shivers through you with his phantom touch.

“I don’t think I’d be able to concentrate either.” he started, his mouth right next to your ear, “There’d only be one thing I’d want to have my hands on…and it wouldn’t be the piano.”

He pulled your ear between his teeth, and you squirmed next to him on the bench. His lips traveled along the length of your jaw, warm and hungry. You sighed out as you leaned into his touch, “Well I feel properly educated for the day. You were a great teacher.”

He hummed, and his mouth vibrated over your throat.

“Mmm, I want you to play the C major scale I showed you before we finish up our lesson for today.”

You pouted even though he couldn’t see it.

“Yoonieeee.” you whined, his teeth grazing your skin in response.

“Play the scale, and then we can start our real lesson.”

You hesitantly raised your fingers over the keys, trying to remember what he had literally just taught you. You pressed down on the first few keys, feeling a tiny victory at the familiar sound. You felt a little more confident going forward now. Until Yoongi sabotaged you by sliding one of his hands over your shoulder and down the front of your dress. He squeezed your breast, and you cried out as your finger struck the wrong key.

“Yoongi.” you scolded him, but he paid you no mind as he continued to knead your soft flesh and bruise your skin with his harsh mouth.

His thumb flicked over your nipple, and you jerked on the bench.

“Start again.” he said simply.

Fuck. This was going to be impossible.

Your hands were shaking this time as you positioned them back over the keys. You willed all your concentration and focus to be on playing the right keys in the scale, and not on Yoongi’s other hand, which was now starting to slip under your dress. You held your breath, making it about halfway through before your hands slammed down on the piano from the feeling of his fingers dipping beneath the waistband of your panties.

“How in the fuck do you expect me to do this?” you demanded in frustration, your body beginning to tremble slightly.

His long digits glided through your folds, teasing you, and your hands curled into fists against your knees.

“Focus. Start again. Play the scale.” he pressed, the words searing against the skin of your shoulder.

Maybe if you just got through the scale as fast as possible. You discovered, however, that when your speed increased, so did the speed of Yoongi’s fingers as they rubbed over your aching core. Your head had nearly slammed down into the keys. You whimpered and started again, slower this time. Yoongi immediately slowed down with you. It took all of your strength and willpower to block him out, but soon you had reached the second to last note in the scale. You prepared to play the final note, but suddenly shot up from the bench when one of Yoongi’s fingers pushed inside of you, “Yoongi, fuck!”

He used his free hand to push you back down and hold you in place before inserting a second digit, making you writhe on the bench.

“Again. You almost had it that time.” he taunted you, and you could see his wicked smirk out of the corner of your eye.

He opted for just watching you this time as you started the scale again, but his hand didn’t cease its movements between your legs. His fingers plunged inside of you, crooking and twisting in a way that was nothing short of sinful. You had reached the last few notes again, you were so close. Yoongi’s thumb brushed over your neglected clit, and you yanked your hands down to your lap to keep from playing a wrong key as you nearly let out a sob.

“Oh, darling, you’re so close. Finish it.”

Your hands were shaking so violently now, but you still somehow managed to play the last few keys without any more errors. All the built up tension and pressure had you releasing all over Yoongi’s fingers as soon as your hands left the keys, and he hissed next to you.

Your body was still trembling in his hold, and you panted heavily as you struggled to regain your senses. Yoongi reached out with his clean hand to pull the cover back over the keys before withdrawing his other one from between your thighs. His coated fingers were slipping past your lips a moment later and pressing down on your tongue. You were still feeling hazy, but you sucked them clean without needing to be asked, Yoongi humming in approval.

He stood up from the bench a moment later, and reached down to lift you up and perch you on top of the piano, your head still spinning. His hands slid up your thighs, fingers digging in slightly. He pressed a kiss to the inside of your knee before slowly moving higher, the feeling of his wicked tongue making you grip onto the sides of the piano.

His fingers twisted into your waistband before pulling your panties down your legs and setting them on the bench next to him. Yoongi pushed your dress up to your hips to expose your dripping cunt, and his eyes blew out at the sight. His gaze flicked up to meet yours, and you could see the desire, the hunger, pulsing through him. You clenched around nothing.

“Lay back for me, darling.” he instructed calmly.

Your heartbeat was deafening as your back met the wood underneath you. You let out a yelp when Yoongi wrapped his arms around your thighs and yanked you to the edge of the piano.

“Fuck. You have no idea how much I’ve been dying to taste you again.” he rasped out, and your fingers scratched against the wood.

He dove right in and started cleaning up your release, your back arching off of the piano as you gasped sharply. Yoongi ate you out messily, his grunts permeating the air while his face was buried in your cunt. The things he could do with his mouth, his tongue, had to be some kind of artform. A skill he had finely tuned much like his talent for the piano.

Your hands reached down to tangle in his long, fluffy hair as his tongue fucked into you. His nose kept bumping against your clit, making your nails scrape over his scalp.

“Oh my god, Yoongi.”

One of his hands snaked its way up your writhing body to roughly grab at your breast. Your body twisted on the wood when you felt his mouth suddenly envelop your bundle of nerves.

“Fuck. Fuck! Yoongi!” you cried out as he vigorously sucked at your clit, tongue flicking over the bud in quick strokes.

He always made you come undone with his mouth faster than anyone ever had, and today was no exception as you felt your high speeding towards you. His fingers dug into your skin harshly as he continued to eat your cunt like he was starving for you. You pulled hard against his dark strands, and Yoongi growled before grazing your clit with his teeth. Your desperate, breathy moans filled the air as you practically convulsed on top of the piano.

“Close…Yoon…” you panted out.

“Come for me, darling.” Yoongi coaxed, voice husky and dark, “Wanna feel you on my tongue.”

He nipped at your bud again, and you sobbed his name as you fell to pieces. Yoongi kept devouring your cunt until you were shivering in overstimulation and whimpering feebly. You felt him finally surface, and it took all your strength to even lift up your head to look at him.

His breathing was ragged, hair wild, chestnut irises nearly black, and his lips glistened with your release. You moaned softly as you watched his tongue swipe across his mouth to finish cleaning you off of his face. He looked absolutely wasted off of you.

“Always so fucking delicious. Could stay buried in your sweet little cunt all day.” he remarked, and you were caught off guard by how fucked out he sounded.

“I think I would die if you did.” you offered back weakly, making Yoongi laugh, his gums peeking out adorably.

“Alright, darling, watch out. I’m coming up there.” he said, and in your post orgasm haze you really thought he was joking.

But within a few swift movements, he had hoisted himself up and was hovering over your shocked figure.

“Wait, are you… You’re, you’re actually gonna fuck me on your piano?” you asked incredulously as you blinked up at him.

Yoongi shifted so you could feel just how hard he was as he brushed against you, “Wanna know a secret? It’s actually always been a fantasy of mine.”

You let out a small gasp as his admission washed over you.

“You mean, you’ve never done this? With anyone? Like ever?” you questioned further, genuinely feeling dumbfounded.

“Never.” Yoongi answered, flashing you a shy smile, “What do you say, darling? You wanna be my first?”

Your heart constricted in your chest at his choice of words. The fact that he wanted to share this first with you. That you would be the one to fulfill this fantasy for him. Warmth spread over your entire body.

“Yoongi Min, I would be honored to take your piano virginity.” you tried to say as seriously as you could manage, but as soon as Yoongi started chuckling, so did you.

“Please, taking you on my piano is my honor.” he voiced thoughtfully before leaning down to kiss you.

You immediately came to life beneath him, your hands finding their familiar home in his hair. You could taste yourself on his tongue as he devoured your mouth. Growing impatient, you made a grab for his pants. Yoongi smirked into the kiss as his hands joined yours to help free him from the confines of his clothes. He sat up momentarily to slip his white tee over his head and sweep his messy locks back from his face, top half bare except for the silver chain laying against his skin.

You shamelessly ogled his broad chest and defined muscles, your eyes trailing down his body to his achingly hard cock that bounced back up against his stomach.

“God,” you whispered as you reached for him, “you are so fucking hot.”

Yoongi flushed at the compliment, letting out a hiss when your eager hand wrapped around him a moment later.

“Like it’s seriously unfair.” you whined as you began giving him a few teasing pumps, and Yoongi groaned beautifully in response.

“What’s unfair is how unbelievably sexy you look right now. Fucked out on top of my piano, just waiting to be stuffed full of cock. Begging to be aren’t you, darling?”

God, he was so fucking hot when he was cocky. You needed him so bad, there was no point in delaying things any further. You released your hold on him and stretched your arms out above your head, inviting him with your eyes, “Do your worst, piano man.”

“Oh, I am going to wreck you.” he growled out before descending on you, and you let out a squeal as his body pressed down on you.

He intertwined his hands with your own, keeping them pinned above your head as his tip prodded at your entrance. He gave them a tight squeeze as he began pushing further past your walls, both of you moaning out at the sensation of feeling him inside you again. You arched into him at the stretch, and Yoongi placed a kiss on your shoulder.

“Always so tight, darling, fucking hell. You take my cock so well. Love fucking you open like this, feels so good.”

You preened at his praise, your head shooting up suddenly to connect your lips. Yoongi groaned into your mouth, finally bottoming out inside of you. Your legs came up to wrap around his waist as you kissed him furiously. Yoongi squeezed against your intertwined hands while he slowly drew back out before slamming all the back in with a harsh thrust that knocked all the air from your lungs. He quickly created a rhythm, driving his cock between your walls in swift, but powerful movements, your body sliding further up the piano with each stroke.

“Fuck…Yoongi.” you moaned brokenly as you lost the energy to keep kissing him.

He breathed hot air into your mouth as he continued fucking the life out of you. You held each other’s hands so tight it hurt, but it also served as an anchor to this moment and to each other. Yoongi grunted, hips snapping roughly with every thrust. Your head was starting to go fuzzy again, and you knew you wouldn’t last super long after he’d already pulled two orgasms from you today.

Yoongi released your hands suddenly, his fingers immediately snaking into your hair, tangling and pulling at the strands. Your hands latched onto his broad shoulders, and dug into his skin as he reached the deepest part of you again and again. Yoongi let out a snarl, “Fuck. You gonna scratch me up again today? Love when you leave your mark on me. A reminder of just how good I fuck you. Isn’t that right, darling?”

But you were beyond words, only able to respond with moans and whimpers as you clenched around him.

“Your perfect little cunt is squeezing me so tight, shit. You gonna come for me again, darling?”

Tears blurred your vision. Everything felt too good. Yoongi felt too good. His cock dragged inside of you at an agonizing pace, making you feel every inch of him. You bit down hard on Yoongi’s shoulder as your nails raked down his back, pulling a string of moans from him in response.

You felt one of his hands leave your hair and trail down the length of your body. His fingers strummed across your aching clit, and you let out a scream as everything inside of you snapped. Yoongi swore loudly as you came all over his cock, and he began fucking you with renewed vigor. You just held onto him for dear life, body shuddering, as he chased his own high.

He fisted your hair tightly in his free hand, groaning and panting as he continued rutting into you. His other hand gripped your hip hard enough to bruise, like he was holding onto you for dear life too. His thrusts began to stutter, and he leaned down to clumsily kiss you.

“Ah,” he moaned against your lips, “ah fuck.”

He twitched inside of you, and then he was coating your walls with his own release. Yoongi practically collapsed on top of you, his hair tickling your face as the two of you fought to catch your breath.

“Well…your fantasy…was it everything…you’d dreamed of?” you managed to ask, threading one of your hands through his fluffy locks.

You felt Yoongi smile against you, and your heart skipped in your chest.

“More…it was more. Reality topped fantasy…hands down. You topped fantasy.”

Your face warmed at his words, and it didn’t go unnoticed by Yoongi.

“I mean, technically…I actually bottomed fantasy.” you quipped back, and he nipped your neck in response, making you giggle wildly.

“Brat. I was trying to be sincere with you. I really like you, Y/N. And I hope we don’t always have to be a secret. I know you’re worried about everything with Faith, and I get it. But, at the risk of putting myself out there and sounding like an idiot, I want the day to come when I can be your boyfriend, and not just your little sister’s piano teacher that you fuck once a week. I want something real with you, and I want things to be okay between me, you, and Faith. Now would be a good time to tell me to shut up and stop wishing for a fantasy. That this is just sex, and that’s it. Just please, say something.”

You felt frozen beneath him, your tongue heavy in your mouth. One wrong word could shatter all of this. Or the right words, the true words, could be the start of something real and beautiful like Yoongi had said. He was laying so close to your heart, and the way it was rapidly pounding would probably end up giving you away anyway. He had taken the leap for you, and to you, Yoongi was more than worth the jump.

“Yoongi I, I’m falling for you. And it terrifies the hell out of me, but it also makes me feel excited, and hopeful. Being with you these last several weeks…it’s the best I’ve felt in a really long time. There definitely would have to be a conversation with Faith first, but I really want this, us, to be something real too. It’s not just sex for me anymore, and I don’t think it has been for awhile. I get butterflies when I think about seeing you. Not just fucking you. But seeing you and getting to be with you, even if it’s only for little bits at a time. Any time I can get is worth it to me, cause you’re worth it to me.”

You waited anxiously for his response, which came in the form of him covering your lips with his own, his hands coming up to cradle your face. It felt like the kiss at the piano earlier, only more sure, more confident. It was like you could feel everything that he felt for you, and you kissed him back, hoping that he could feel the same.

The two of you laid there for some time, just lazily tangled up in each other and in the fragile moment. Yoongi groaned loudly when you finally spoke up and mentioned that you should probably be heading back before Faith started to worry. He had the cutest pout on his face as he climbed down from the piano before holding out his hand to help guide you back to the floor.

“I can’t wait until you can finally just stay, and I can fall asleep next to you.” he voiced softly as he straightened his pants and retrieved his white tee from the floor.

“Me too.” you agreed, pushing up on your toes to kiss his cheek, and Yoongi immediately blushed.

“Hey, do you think I could hold onto this?” you added, gesturing at the shirt in his hands.

He gave you a gummy smile, “That’s not really keeping things a secret now is it, darling?”

“I’ll be careful with it. It’d just be nice to have a little piece of you with me.” you told him sweetly.

“Alright, it’s yours.” he said, tossing the shirt to you, “Can I keep these then? As something to remember you by.”

He bent down to pick up your panties from the floor and raised a mischievous eyebrow at you.

“Yoongi!” you exclaimed in shock, your cheeks burning.

“I’m kidding! Well, kind of.”

He flashed you a cheeky little smirk, and you shook your head at him, laughing.

“Well, if I just so happen to leave here without them, then I guess that really can’t be helped now can it?”

Yoongi hummed before stuffing the garment into his pocket.

“Yeah, guess not.” he agreed nonchalantly.

You felt your face heat once more, and you briefly turned your gaze to the piano, Yoongi’s eyes following yours.

“Shit!” he cursed suddenly, and worry immediately overtook you.

“What’s wrong?”

“It just occurred to me that I’ll never be able to play at this piano again without getting hard.”

You busted out laughing because you definitely had not been expecting that answer.

“Well, then, I guess you’ll just have to fuck me on every piano you own so that this one doesn’t feel singled out.” you quipped back as you gave him a knowing look.

Yoongi’s eyes were darkening immediately, “I think you better text your sister and let her know today’s lesson is running a little late.”

You grinned wickedly back at him, rising to the challenge.

“Whatever you say, piano man.”

[leasstories]

Dream girl

Eddie Munson x fem!reader

No trigger warning, reader is smaller than Eddie but no physical descrpition

WC: 1.1K

02.17.1988, Square Arena, Indianapolis

Today is the highlight of your month, your year even. This is finally the day of Dio, your favorite band ever, and Megadeth’s concert. You arrived early to check the merch stand. You found a beautiful Dio shirt, a Holy Diver one. Exactly the same design as the cover of the album. You are super hyped up and excited by this concert. You are also super grateful Duo had a show so close to your hometown.

Your tour of the merch stands over, you go into the venue. You stand right behind a guy with a mop of curly hair. He is wearing a jean vest with a beautiful Dio’s Last in Line patch on the back. You are a bit jealous of his jacket to be honest. You can see that the patch was homemade from a tee-shirt, and you are jealous not to be a hand-craft person. The light turns off and the concert starts. The guy with the Dio vest is a little taller than you, meaning you don’t really see the stage.

You ponder on what to do for a few minutes when you come up with the idea of asking him if ypi could pretend to know each other so you can be closer to the stage, and maybe see more of the show. It is currently Megadeth playing so you don’t mind not seeing and just listening but when it will be Dio’s turn, you want to be able to listen and see. That’s how, from its own accord your body starts moving towards the mop of curls. You tap on his shoulder.  The guy turns around and he looks breath taking. The first thing you notice about him are his big brown eyes. The guy is a perfect mix between Eddie Van Halen and Kirk Hammet. Translation? He is totally your type. You notice several pin’s from metal bands and he is wearing a Megadeth tee.

“Yeah?” he asks curious as to why you tapped on his shoulder.

“C-” you clear your throat. “Can I… um… can we pretend we are together? So I can have a better views of the stage?” you ask, unusually shy.

“Of course,” the man answers, taking your hand and pulling you right next to him.

“I’m Eddie.” He says, handing out his hand for you to shake. You shake his hand, giving him your own name in return. You have been a bit taken aback by his name as you just compared him to Eddie Van Halen in your mind, but you keep your thoughts to yourself.

“Metal fan?” you ask, wincing at your stupid question. Of course he is, you are at a metal concert and the guy wears his music taste on him.

“Yeah, you?” he asks kindly but a bit amused by the question.

“Yeah,” you breathe out, none of you is paying attention to Megadeth playing, too entranced in your new found companionship.

“It’s my first metal concert.” You confess to him.

“Then, I’ll be your guide in the metal concert world.” Eddie says in his Dungeon Master’s voice.

“You are quite the storyteller, I see.” You say flirtatiously.

“Eddie Munson, humble Dungeon Master of the Hellfire Club in Hawkins.” Eddie says, slightly bowing.

“A D&D club I presume?” you ask.

“You know D&D?” Eddie asks, baffled.

“I know it’s uncommon for girls, but I used to play before my party moved out for college.” You answer truthfully.

“You should come for one of my holiday one shot.” Eddie says excitedly.

“With pleasure.” You say, matching Eddie’s excitement.

Eddie and you both turn back to the stage, to watch the concert. Eddie admire your body swaying to the music. He can’t stop thinking about how you are his dream girl. He doesn’t believe one second that he will see you after tonight, so he is planning to enjoy your company tonight.

Then, when Dio comes to the stage, Eddie can see your face light up and finds it adorable. During the entirety of the concert, his eyes are fixated on you, screaming the words for each song.

At the end, Dio starts throwing their guitar picks at the crowd and Eddie instinctually picks you up to help you get one, which you do.

You are super excited about it and when Eddie puts you down, you turn to him and hand him the guitar pick.

“Keep it.” Eddie says, shaking his head.

“But you did all the work!” you say.

“I want you to keep it,” Eddie says with a smile. “So you’ll remember me.”

“How could I forget you.” You say sincerely.

While Eddie and you keep talking, the band leaves the stage and the crowd starts leaving. Everyone, except you and Eddie goes towards the exit. None of you want this night to be over. You want time to stop and you want to stay together for a little longer.

“Wanna go grab some food?” Eddie asks. “I saw a McDonald right next to the venue.”

“With pleasure. I’m starving.” You say, smiling.

Eddie and you leave the venue, the McDonald is full so Eddie suggest to take away and eat in the back of his van which you gladly accept. While you wait for your order, Eddie learns more about you and you learn that he is the lead guitarist and singer in a band. He tells you he plays in a dive bar in his town every Tuesday and you suggest that you should watch him play once.

“What?” Eddie asks. “You would drive all the way to Hawkins to watch little ol’ me play?” he asks, surprised.

“Of course Eddie. In case you haven’t noticed I really like you.” You say while taking the bags of food and walking towards Eddie’s van.

“I really like you too.” Eddie says while opening the back doors of his van. “Here give me the bags.” He says which you do.

You both sit in the back of the van and eat your food in comfortable silence. Once you’ve finished eating, you take a napkin and write your phone number on it.

“Call me.” You tell him with a smile.

“I will.” Eddie says nodding. “I really enjoyed spending time with you, and I want to do it again.”

“Me too.” You say smiling.

Here’s how Eddie and you met, two nerdy metalheads meeting at a Dio concert. Your dream is to meet Dio in order to thank them for giving you the opportunity to meet the love of your life. Here’s the story you will tell your children when they ask how mommy met daddy.

Taglist: @abellmunsonmovie

[chahnniesroom]

tenderness | epilogue: jet lag

[noun] /ˈtendərnəs/

1. the quality of being gentle, kind, or loving

2. the feeling of pain, aching, or soreness

pairing: bang chan x female reader

summary: in a world where soulmates are rare and precious, you don’t know why the universe has decided to give you one. you never could have imagined that they would be an idol, and one that you worked with at that, or the challenges that would arise from your bond.

chapter word count: 1.3k

chapter warnings: none :)

a/n: i really cannot believe i'm saying this, but here's the last part of tenderness! thank you so so much to everyone who has interacted with this story in any way. i apologise for the fact that sometimes i take a while to reply, but know i treasure each and every comment, reply, tag, and like that i have received. i couldn't have done it without you all!

i am working on two other fics, so if you like my writing, please stay tuned!

previous chapter | masterlist | read it on ao3

When you had initially heard that there would be a three week break between the Tokyo concerts and the North American leg of the tour, you had been surprised. You knew it was partly due to predetermined schedules, but it had seemed like such a long break between shows.

Now you're more than grateful for the extra time it gave you to rest and recover. Your health has significantly improved in that time. For the first time in weeks you’re no longer exhausted, all your concussion symptoms have disappeared, and your wounds have mostly healed. The stitches are still tender and if you move too quickly or laugh too hard then it pulls at the healing muscle and skin, but you feel comfortable walking around slowly without any pain. 

Since your doctor still advised that you avoid carrying anything remotely heavy, all of the boys have been refusing to let you do any housework and spending as much time with you as they can. You would have thought that the constant company would become suffocating, especially with the way they hover any time that you move, but surprisingly you don’t mind. Since you’d been forced to be independent for your whole childhood, it kind of feels nice to be doted on like this.

The eagerness to assist in any physical tasks means that packing for the trip consists of you directing Chan on what you want to bring and the two of you are finished in no time. It’s a relief since somehow neither of you had even started until the evening before you're scheduled to leave.

Once you’re changed for the flight and head out of Chan’s room, Hyunjin and Changbin are already there. Hyunjin is sprawled out on one of the couches with an arm draped over his eyes to block the light while Changbin is rummaging through the cupboards.

“Oh, where’s Jisung?” you ask, not waiting for an answer before you start making your way towards his room. “I’ll go check to see if he’s ready to go.”

You knock on his closed door, then ease it open when you don’t get a reply. Jisung is sitting on the side of the bed, head in his hands. The curtains are drawn which means that he’s shrouded in shadows. His bags are packed and placed near the door, but he makes no effort to move.

“Jisung,” you call. When he doesn’t respond, you soften your tone and try again. “Jisungie.”

He looks up at that, revealing bloodshot eyes and lips that have been bitten raw. It’s obvious that he hasn’t been able to sleep and you mentally kick yourself for not anticipating this. Jisung has always hated airports the most out of all the members and you know that past events have likely worsened any travel related anxiety that he already had.

You step forward and bend over slightly to pat his head, then smooth your hand over so that it rests on his shoulder. He leans into your touch at first, then his eyes widen in realisation.

“Noona, you should be sitting! It’s not good for you to bend like that,” he says, tugging on your arm so that you settle on the bed beside him. His touches are light, as they have been for the past few days, like he’s afraid of hurting you.

“It’s okay, really. The doctors have said that I’ve been healing well and I’ve been cleared for travel,” you reassure him.

“I don’t want to go,” Jisung confesses. “I couldn’t stop thinking about what might happen when we leave.”

“Yonghwan told you guys the plan, right?” You loop your arm into his and lean your head against his shoulder. “They’ve got everything prepared so that there won’t be any fans when we leave. We’re not going to be at Incheon today, we’re taking a private flight, the official schedule that was released shows we’ll be leaving in a couple of days, and there’s going to be enough security that even if there were to be any fans, they wouldn’t be able to come close.”

“I know that they’re doing all that stuff, but it’s not making me feel better. It’s so dumb,” he says in a broken voice. “I’m sorry, noona. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. You were the one that got hurt last time, so why am I freaking out?”

“Hey, no. Last time was a scary experience for all of you, even without what happened to me. It’s natural that you’re feeling anxious, I know that I’m a little bit nervous too.”

"I guess," Jisung agrees reluctantly. "I just wish I didn't feel like this."

“It’s hard,” you agree. “But you’re excited for the concerts, right? At least there’s something to look forward to in the next few weeks. I’m finally going to get a chance to see you guys from the crowd instead of backstage!”

“Really?” Jisung seems to perk up at that. “Don’t tell me where you’re going to be, I want to look out for you!”

“They didn’t tell me yet, so I can’t even share if I want to, but I think it’ll be a pretty good seat.”

“Are you going to make a sign? I can help make one with you at the hotel! I know exactly what it should say.” Han pretends to write out a poster. “‘‘Han Jisung is the Best!’ I think it’d be perfect!”

"Hm, I’m not too sure about if I want to be holding a sign, especially one with that on it," you say. You’re partially amused, mostly relieved that he seems to be in a better mood. “But first, we have to get there. Let’s go, I think the car is going to be picking us up soon.”

—

Your flight is scheduled for extremely early in the morning, a purposefully awkward time that serves as an added layer of protection against any fans trying to catch the group’s departure. The sun hasn’t even risen by the time you leave the dorms, but at least there’s not a single person around other than staff or security when you make it to the airport.

The flight is uneventful, although you really appreciate that the private plane means that you don’t have to be concerned about trying to hide your relationship with Chan. The two of you get to sit beside each other which makes it significantly easier to make up for the fact that you spent time packing instead of Charging last night.

You wake up as the plane starts to descend, the changes in pressure causing your ears to pop. You were slightly nervous at the airport this morning, but now your anxious thoughts have come back even worse. Your stomach churns and your heart rate starts to pick up. Logically, you know that everything will be fine, but your body doesn’t seem to have gotten the memo.

As if reading your mind, Chan reaches out and laces your fingers together even though your palms have gone clammy. His thumb traces steady circles that help to distract your thoughts for a while, but your breathing still hitches when the plane lands. You go stiff when the seatbelt sign blinks off and all the other members start getting ready to leave.

Chan tightens his hand around yours reassuringly. Somehow, it manages to squeeze the tension out of you. It’s not just the gesture or the Charge that makes you feel better. Just his presence is enough to comfort you.

"Hey," he says softly, "No matter what, I'll be here with you."

You know it's true. Even after all that the two of you have been through, even after all of the pain, the tears, the heartache, you trust him. 

With Chan by your side you feel safe, protected, cared for.

You feel loved.

previous chapter | masterlist | read it on ao3

[snug-gyu]

so another year is coming to an end, and i feel like a lot has happened to me this year that i should do a little post so i can remember everything i went through and the good things that came from it. under the cut cause this will probably get long

so this year i moved back in with my parents for mental health reasons. i left behind a good job, great coworkers and a place i had just recently finally got to myself. even though i had all that, i was still feeling so bad with myself i realized i needed the support to get back to my feet.

i lost my most precious baby in the process to a horrible desease that took him from me in a matter of days, and i had to watch him suffer through it all while not being able to do anything besides make him as comfortable as i could.

with all that, i also got myself into a terrible job that was so taxing on me i feel like i deleted most of those months from my mind as a defense mechanism, to the point i broke down one day after being humiliated by my asshole boss and finally quit.

all of this happened while i changed psychiatrists and treatment at least twice, so the weeks following me quitting my job were very important to finally give my mind some rest and now i'm in a job that is a lot more considerate and less taxing on my mental health.

now on for the good things.

this year i managed to see two of my faves live, nct 127 in january and ateez in august. i haven't been to concerts in so long and now i'm completely addicted. i can't wait to see what 2024 has in store (hopefully skz?)

through all of that, some friends have been soooo important to me. you guys were there for me in my darkest hours and for the happy times as well.

@secretdiaryofanawkward my bestie, i love you. thanks for being there every day with your memes, rants and cat pics. i cherish our memories together even if it's just laying down in silence while we do our own thing. thanks for helping me while i was on my lowest and i'm pretty sure i wouldn't be where i am now mentally without your help

@hongamon , @changbeens and @cryiingemoji . you guys have been with me since last year and i know i can count on you being there to cheer me up with blorbo pics or to talk shit about people. thanks for your friendship and i hope you know i'll always be there if you need me

@ggthydrangea and @winterfloral , your words (or gifs) of reassurance mean the world to me. also @juiceofmoons and @missyedits , even though we didn't talk much i'll always have you in my heart. i know y'all been busy this year with work and uni, but i'm glad we finally managed our mb babes' call

@chanrizard my beloved wife, @decembermoonskz by sweetheart, @agibbangs my spiritual neighbor and the whole of lix jail @leenope @jinniebit @lixence @thnx4thefish @wisteriya @happysmilebtr @babebatter @haenglixie thanks for the chaos and the laughs and even if we don't talk much y'all are very special to me.

all my beloved moots, i love you guys very much and it's lovely to interact with you even if it's just through tags sometimes. you have a special place in my heart and know that if we're moots you're automatically all my friends

@hanjesungs thanks for caring the burden of modding the stayblr server since it's begging and for being the voice of reason when we need it

to all of the people on the stayblr discord server, know that i consider you all my family and going there is like coming home, so thanks for always being so warming and nice to hang around. @hongjoongpresent @brightermorepls @astraykidz @noonaracha

sorry if i forgot anyone, just know that i'm very grateful for all the friends i've made along the way. my ask box and dms are always open 💜💜 thanks and i love y'all

[ladykailitha]

Star Child 16

And it’s done. Holy freaking shit, guys. I can’t believe it. It’s done. Thank you so much to everyone who commented, reblogged and liked this story. I’m so happy for the response it’s gotten and I will personally miss this little story.

Steve gets his happily ever after

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15

***

Steve and Luke were in the studio within days of their meeting and it took everything in Steve’s power not to giggle uncontrollably every time they agreed on something.

Soon they managed to hash out a really great song that Steve would feature on but it would be The Struts playing. Hell, even though it would be a non-album single Steve was still over the moon.

Suddenly Steve was in a room with all of the members of the band and he had to squeal into a pillow after they left. Because holy shit, this was his life now.

He was also grateful the distraction it supplied. He missed Eddie. Like a gaping wound, but this allowed him to concentrate on something other then the overwhelming loneliness he felt.

It took them three weeks to get the song recorded and they talked about when it should be released. Steve of course wanted to release it now, but cooler heads prevailed and it would be released in a couple of months toward the end of summer.

It would give the buzz around Steve’s coming out time to die down and give Steve more time to record his own songs and release one of the solo songs first. So that fans got a taste of Steve’s style without someone else.

It made sense. But Steve was still a little bummed that it wouldn’t come out for a while.

The final night of recording Steve went out with The Struts and had a good time. With invitations for Steve to hang out with them in London if he was ever in town.

*

Steve was practically vibrating out of his skin.

“Can you please breathe?” Robin asked as she applied eyeliner to her eyes. “What I’m doing over here is dangerous and I swear you’re going to start bouncing around the room.”

Steve ran his fingers through his hair again and sat down hard on the bed. He flopped backwards, arms out spread. “I get to see Eddie for the first time in five weeks and time is deliberately standing still.”

She tsked at him and finished her makeup. She went over to the bed and kicked his foot.

He sat up and looked her up and down. She was wearing a blue button up with the sleeves rolled up to her elbows with a plaid vest and matching tie. She wore baggy slacks over sexy heels and her hair and makeup were artfully messy.

Steve raised an eyebrow. “Looking good, Robs. Chrissy is going to faint.”

Robin giggled. “I hope not, I don’t think I would be able to catch her in these heels.”

Steve cocked his head and then nodded. “Fair enough.”

She reached over and played with a strand of his hair. “I still can’t believe Eddie gave you the go ahead to chop off it all off.”

He laughed. “I didn’t chop it all off. I just shaved the sides. It’s just as long as it’s always been on top. Add some fun blond highlights, and I think it looks great.”

Robin smiled. “And it does, honest. I just would have thought that Eddie would have put up more of a fight over it, considering how long his hair is.”

“Now that is a no go,” Steve said firmly. “He’s not allowed to have it shorter than his shoulders. He pulled his hair back once so that he could write with it wet and he looked like a completely different person, Robs. It was freaky.”

Robin laughed. “Whereas you look hot regardless of length?”

“Exactly!” he said with a big grin. “Now help me decide what to wear. I don’t want to go full metal, my fans might murder me.”

Robin winced. As referenced by the social media meltdown when he showed up in videos from the Salt Lake City concert. There was so much hate about him selling out (which, you know weird flex considering it’s usually selling out was in the opposite direction), and how he was clearly trying to get into Eddie’s pants. It was brutal.

In fact the Corroded Coffin fans seemed to be more welcoming and friendly. Telling him how awesome it was that he came out and that he could be himself. But then as Steve was slowly learning, metal fans tended to only looked mean.

So he decided to combine his former look with his boyfriend’s metal style. He wore a black t-shirt with the sleeves cut off with chunky bracelets on his wrists. But instead of tight black jeans and combat boots, Steve wore baggy white trousers and black sneakers. Combined with his new hair style and Eddie’s lucky guitar pick hanging from his neck, he felt confident in his look for the first time since he started performing.

Robin eyed him critically, circling him, like a shark scenting blood in the water.

“Good job!” she said with a thumbs up.

Steve laughed. “Did I pass the Robin test?”

“It looks good,” she said. “And if they give you hell, point them my direction.”

Steve nodded. He bounced up and down on his toes. Syking himself up. He waved his arms and wrists, trying to loosen up tense muscles. He began his breathing exercises and then his vocal warm ups.

“You ready for this?” Robin asked.

Steve nodded. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

“Go get him, tiger!”

*

Eddie loved performing in front of massive crowds. He couldn’t get enough it. He loved the energy and high he got from the screaming mases. And there was only one thing he loved more than the fans, more than his own band even.

Steve Harrington.

“It’s our last concert and you know we like to go out big,” Eddie said into the microphone. “When we started this tour, we thought it was going to be like any other. Play to sellout crowds, whether that was bars or stadiums. Have fun with my best friends doing what we love.”

The crowd roared, cheering and stomping their feet.

“But as awesome as the highs were,” Eddie continued. “I feel we have to acknowledge the lows. That club with the horrible management and our getaway to the park so we could still play.”

The crowd booed.

“They sucked!” Gareth growled into his microphone.

The crowd cheered back.

“The rain in Seattle.”

The crowd stomped their feet.

“What’s a little soaking between friends, anyway?” Jeff asked.

The crowd roared.

“The fiasco in Austin and beyond!” Eddie said.

The crowd got angry as chant was taken up, “Fuck Creel!”

“That’s right!” Brian screamed. “Fuck Creel!”

“But we made it through,” Eddie finished, “because we have the best fans in the world!”

If the crowd had roared before, it was nothing to deafening thunder that came reply.

“So as thank you, we’ve got a little treat for you all,” Eddie said over the howl of the crowd. “Steve Harrington!”

Who from what Eddie could see was waiting in the wings, liking like sex itself.

The crowd went absolutely feral. There were screams and whistles as Eddie smiled.

“We’re going to do a little song that brought me the best six weeks of my life,” Eddie explained.

Steve came out and waved. “Hello, LA!”

“Hello, Stevie!” the crowd shouted back.

“Come on,” Steve said with a giggle. “You can do better than that!”

“Hello, Stevie!” they roared back.

“You guys are the best!” Steve said.

The music started and the crowd howled.

Then Steve growled out the first line and it was absolute pandemonium.

But instead of being on the opposite ends of the stage like they were in Indy, they started in the middle and were practically all over each other. And then when it was time for the guitar solo, Eddie handed his guitar over to Steve and he let it rip. Just shredded away.

It got so quiet that the only sound was Steve playing like he was born to rock.

So when the solo ended and Steve handed the guitar back to Eddie, Eddie growled. “Steve Harrington, everyone!”

They finished out the rest of the song and then kissed.

“Hi, beautiful,” Eddie said once they had broken off the kiss.

“Hey-ya, Eds,” Steve murmured back with a smile on his face.

“Tell all the wonderful people about what’s been going on with you,” Eddie prompted.

Steve blushed. “After winning a large settlement from my record label I have set up a charity for young LGBTQ+ artists that if they find themselves in a situation like I was, they have someone to turn to. It will have lawyers, counselors, and resources for getting out of abusive homes with living arrangements and a small stipend to help them pay bills as they get back on their feet.”

The crowd cheered.

“There won’t be an exclusion of genres either,” Steve continued. “There is as much queerphobia in country and rap as there is in pop and rock. We want to be able to reach as many people as we can. And while it is mainly for youths, no one of any age will be turned away.”  

Again the crowd cheered.

“I’ve also been in the studio writing and recording my new album,” Steve went on.

More cheering.

“And I’ve got a couple of surprises coming for you all,” he said. “Not the least of which is collaboration with these boys.”

The crowd ate it up, stomping and screaming.

“I said in Indy that my greatest dream was to perform with Corroded Coffin,” he continued. “And while crossing that off my bucket list was no small feat, the thought of making music with them, not just Eddie, who I absolutely am in love with, just blows my mind. But these are some of the best in the business and making friends with them and being able to write and perform as song with them? Beyond my wildest imagination.”

“Flattery absolutely works on us, man,” Jeff said in his microphone.

Steve blushed. “Oh, you guys have no idea. That was me dialing back on my enthusiasm. I’ve been your biggest fan for years.”

“Oh no,” Brian said into Jeff’s mic, “we know. And we’re happy to have gotten to know the real you over the last couple of months.”

“Really digging the new look, Stevie,” Jeff agreed.

The crowd whistled their agreement.

Steve grinned.

It had been one hell of a journey. But he’d made it. He was in love with the first boy he ever kissed. He was making the music he loved for the first time in his life. He was out as bisexual. His label and parents were facing criminal charges. And his best friend was going on a date with the girl of her dreams.

If someone had come up to Steve two months ago and told him he would be here with Eddie in front of an adoring crowd, his life changed for the better? He would have laughed himself sick. Good things didn’t happen to Steve Harrington. Not like that.

But it had. And things were only going to get better. He was so happy, he did the only thing he could think of.

He kissed Eddie senseless.

“So did I leave up to the hype, sunshine?” he asked, away from the mic.

Eddie smiled. “You blew my expectations out of the water, sweetheart.”

***

Here’s the meta I wrote for it when I started writing the story and the extra scene that showed what happened that night at Steve’s ten years before the story started.

Tag List: @eboyawstenn @moonshadows-13 @ohlook-afrog @bookbinderbitch @goodolefashionedloverboi @linkydinky06 @livelaughlexa @spectrum-spectre @cutepumpkin4 @whatthemeepever @gleek4twd @anything-thats-rock-and-roll @novelnovella @celtrose-ish @artiststarme @plasticcrotches  @anaibis @failedstarsandgoldenclouds  @nelotegreitic @steddieassheg0es  @yes-im-your-mom  @abstractnaturaldisaster @scheodingers-muppet @tiny-enthusiast @thegingerrapunzel @milf-harrington @raisedbylibrarians @reverseteehee @lillys-weird-world @deadlydodos @runyousillydetective  @fiore-della-valle   @justrandomfandomstm @piebook67 @clumsywriter @donttouchmycarrots  @idkareallyreallygoodname @ellietheasexylibrarian @localgaydisaster @idontgetpaidenoughforthisshit @imfinereallyy  @maya-custodios-dionach @child-of-cthulhu @estrellami-1 @lillithhellfire @nerdsconquerall @space-invading-pigeon @avacrebs @ravenpainter @gregre369

[deityoftherain]

post-concert highs (Geminitay Appreciation <333)

Sweat dripped off Gem’s face, down her arms, and soaked her clothing. Working under the heat of the spotlights for an hour and a half would do that to anyone. She was sure she smelled and that her clothes would need to be run through the washing machine twice but these shows always felt so exhilarating that she couldn’t dwell on the discomfort for long.

“Woo!” Impulse enthusiastically threw his hands up in the air once they entered the room. They had recently finished performing and talking to fans at a meet and greet. “Fantastic job, everyone! That was great!”

“I’ll never get over this high.” Scott looked exhausted but the grin on his face was wide. He bent over to grab a few water bottles from the flat for himself and his bandmates. When he turned back to them, he called out, “Hey, catch!” The first bottle was tossed to Impulse, who caught it with ease. Gem was thrown the next one. She had to reach a bit to be able to catch it before it hit something other than her hands but she did manage it. Scott and Impulse both cheered for her.

“It’s so cool that they love our music.” Gem felt pride build in her chest. They had released their first album “Cherry Blossoms” and they were overwhelmed with love and support. Gem wasn’t sure how so many people discovered their little band from the middle of nowhere online but she was not going to complain. Impulse had always been the one to handle their @gemandthescotts social media accounts and then the label whom they now work under. He would be the one to know all of the behind-the-scenes work on that front. Maybe she should ask him in-depth about it one day. “I wasn’t sure if we would’ve ever gotten out of my mom’s garage.”

“I knew we would.” Scott leaned forward to grab one of the towels sitting on the coffee table. He used it to help some of the sweat drifting off of him but he made sure not to touch his eye makeup. The blue would mark the white towel easily, seeing how much sweat would combine with it. “We did win our town’s Battle of the Bands three years in a row.”

“We also sucked for a long time though.” Impulse chuckled as he thought back to when they were still learning and finding their sound. “Your mom tried to be polite but I think we are the real reason she soundproofed the garage when we were ten.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised.” Gem snorted at that. “She did always die on the inside when I said Scott was coming over.”

“Which one?” Scott asked, greatly amused at Gem’s words. Her mom had always been great to all three of them and they all loved her but they did like to joke around about being her annoying children. “Impulse Scott or me Scott?” “Both, duh. Mom would live in fear, never knowing which Scott was coming to haunt her doorstep!” Gem put on her best ghostly voice, even adding little ghost “oooo”ing noises at the end.

“She must have been so relieved when we started calling Impulse by a nickname.” Scott shifted his gaze to Impulse, a sly look in his eyes. “That way she could remember that Impulse was the one bad at the drums.” Impulse gasped, returning Scott’s sly expression with a flabbergasted one. “What do you mean? Are you saying I haven’t always been this perfect? I will let you know that my rhythm has been impeccable since I first held a pair of drumsticks.” “I could say I would pay to experience that again but I value being able to hear too much so I will have to graciously decline.” Scott continued to tease his friend, which just made Impulse gasp dramatically again.

Their lighthearted quips went back and forth for several moments. Gem just smiled lazily at them, taking sips of her water as she listened. She was grateful to have her closest friends as her bandmates. “You both are idiots.”

“How am I an idiot when I am supposed to be the smart Scott?” Impulse’s attention turned to her for a moment before shifting to side-eye Scott. “That guy though… hmm…” “Oh, shove off.” Scott tossed the now-empty water bottle at Impulse. It managed to hit his knee but it didn’t do anything more than make a few little crinkly sounds.

“I don’t know why we’re even friends.”  Impulse wiped several non-existent tears from his eyes. “You’re so mean to me.”

“You love me.” Scott blew him a kiss in response. Impulse grabbed the blown kiss from the air and placed it on his cheek. “Hey, where is my kiss?” Gem scrunched her nose at them, a false hurt written all over her face. “Last I heard, it’s ‘Gem and the Scotts’, not ‘Dumb and Dumber’! Don’t I deserve some love too?”

Impulse and Scott shared brief eye contact, mischief radiating off of them now. Oh no. What did she manage to spur both of them on about at the same time? Did all guys named Scott have a telepathic link that she didn’t know about?

Next thing she knew, Scott had plopped down to her right and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. Impulse came in on the other side soon after.

“Hey!” Gem squeaked at their sudden attack. “Gross, I can feel your sweat. I said a kiss! I did not say ‘Everyone, jump on Gem!’” “We’re all sweaty already so it’s all good!” Impulse’s yellow face paint smudged against the black side of her shirt. The yellow side would have faded in more but she knew they would get cleaned enough to get the stain out.

“It can be both,” Scott responded at the same time as Impulse. He placed a quick kiss on her cheek and Gem just laughed at both of them.

“Okay, okay! You win!” Gem spread herself out as a way to nudge them off of her. She wasn’t mad at them but she did require to have her space again. “Off now, please. I am already hot enough without you two breathing on me.”

They complied instantly, getting off of both her and the couch she was sitting on. All three of them were laughing to the point it was a struggle to breathe. Their bodies were reacting to their little exchange, the adrenaline from the show, and the exhaustion they all felt weighing on them. Impulse was even doubling over and Scott had his head thrown back as they did so.

“I need to take a shower, change into something soft, and then pass out as soon as I’m under the covers.” Scott yawned loudly, putting his hand over his mouth as if to cover it.

“I need to take a shower and such too.” Impulse agreed with Scott’s plan of action. “Probably before the post-concert energy wears off.”

Gem groaned, leaning her head back against the couch. “I think it’s already worn off for me.”

“This is just an excuse for a sleepover.” Scott slid off his transparent, blue coat before tossing it on the back of the couch. “We will just do the sleeping part a little earlier than usual.”

“Ooo, yes!” Impulse lit up at Scott’s suggestion. “Gem, would you do us, the Scotts, the honor of having a sleepover in your room?” “You two act like we don’t have sleepovers almost every night.” Gem rolled her eyes affectionately. Everything was an excuse for a sleepover with these two. The question wasn’t if they were going to, because they usually were. It was more of debating if they were going to sleep early or if they were going to do whatever various activities they wanted to before sleeping. “Honestly, you two are so clingy.”

“Maybe,” Scott shrugged a shoulder with a cheeky smile on his face, “but you love us.”

“That’s debatable.” She stretched her arms up with a yawn, joints popping as she did so. Gem breathed out a soft sigh of relief as some of the tension left her. She did feel a little bit better but her body was still sore.

“Hey, you don’t mean that!” Impulse gave her the worst fake pout she had ever seen.

“Mhm, fine. I love you both.” Gem reassured them with a content smile. A happy buzz sent sparkling sensations throughout her body. One of her childhood dreams was becoming her reality and she was doing it with two people she cared deeply for. Nothing could be better than this.

A/N: I meant to write for @dronepikachu's Gem Week but I don't think I will have time before the week is over so here is one I wrote recently that can go under Prompt 1 and Prompt 4 for the writers! I have posted this on my ao3 (@an_anxious_ghost) and my sideblog for fanfic stuff so yes, I am the original author!

[ennikity]

❤𝑵𝒊-𝒌𝒊 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏... 𝑷𝒍𝒖𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒆❤ ☽𝘎𝘦𝘯𝘳𝘦: 𝘧𝘭𝘶𝘧𝘧☾ ☽𝘞𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴: 𝘯𝘰𝘱𝘦☾

The sun was peeking outside the window, and thanks to the noise that came from the streets, you knew that the city had already waken up. And there you were, lying in bed because someone was still sleeping. 

- You should be grateful you look that good even sleeping- you whispered to your boyfriend, putting away some lost strands of hair from his face. 

Ni-ki scrunched his nose at your contact and you chukled. Slowly, he oppened an eye.

- Good morning- you said sofly- Did you sleep well?

As an answer, he pulled you closer to him, as if he hadn’t slept the whole night hugging you tightly.

- Yes- he said, still with a husky voice- Very well.

- Then, do you want some breakfast?- you asked, caresing his hair- I’m starving.

You tried to get up, thinking that the boy would agree with you, but looks like he didn’t, cuz he stoped you, putting one of his arms arround your waist, and lying you next to him again.

- I don’t want to eat, I want to sleep more- he whined.

- But Ni-ki- you tried to convince him- It’s late. What about all the things we had planned for today?

- I know, but...- he went silent for a moment, as if he was thinking whether he should say or not what he was thinking.

- But?

He sighed, finally speaking.

- You know we are going on a tour in a few days... and that means that this is probably one of the last times I’m gonna have a good sleep in a while.

You looked at him with sad eyes. You knew that he loved being an idol with all his heart, but you couldn’t deny that hearing him saying those things made you worry about him.

- I’m sorry, I’m sure that all those schedules probably don’t leave you enough time to sleep-you said.

- What?- he looked at you as if you were talking about something completely different- No, no, that’s not what I meant. I mean, yeah, we have a lot of things to do, and with the concerts and the rehearsals we don’t have much time to rest, but thats not...

He went silence, not knowing how to continue.

- Then... Why can’t you sleep properly?- you asked, confused.

Ni-ki sat on the bed, looking everywhere but you.

- I can’t tell you, I’m sure you will make fun of me the rest of your life- he said with a shy smile.

- Hey, c’mon- you punched his arm sofly- When have I made fun of you?

He looked at you raising an eyebrow and you laughed.

- It’s okey tho, you don’t need to tell me if you don’t want. Don’t feel preasured.

You were going to add something, but before you could say anything, Ni-ki spoked.

- I can’t sleep properly cuz I got so used to sleep with you that it feels strange. Remember the other day, when you came to our house? You asked what those blankets and the big pillow near my bed were. Well, there are heat blankets and a heavy pillow the members gave me on my last birthday cuz the know I have trouble to sleep when I’m not with you. And they kinda work, at least most of the time. But obviously I can’t take them with me on tour, and I can’t take you either, so...

He carefully looked at you, not knowing what your reaction would be. 

- That’s... the sweatest thing someone has ever said to me- you said, with a wide smile. 

- Don’t you think it’s... weird?- he asked.

- Not at all. In fact, sometimes it happends to me too, but I just need to hug one of your hoodies to be able to sleep again. 

The boy smiled sofly, and this time, you pulled him closer to you, both of you laying again on the bed.

- Then, what if we sleep for a bit longer?-you asked.

                                                            [...]

You looked at your phone to check the time, and started to run even faster. It was late, very late, and if you couldn’t find Ni-ki during the next minuts, you knew you would loose your last chance to see him before he leaves for the tour. You crosed another corridor and finally spotted someone familiar.

- Jake!- you called him out of breath- Have you seen Ni-ki?

The boy greeted you and kindly explained that, due to some problems on their normal practice room, they had to practice in other room, and that’s were you could find the boy. After giving you the exact directions to find the place, you thanked him and headed there.

You found the room and quietly went in. As Jake had said, Ni-ki was there, still practicing. You noticed that all the mirrors were covered, so, knowing that the boy couldn’t see you, you rushed to give him a back hug.

- What the-?- he asked confused, but when he turned arround and saw your smily face he couldn’t help but smile happily too.

- Surprise!

- Y/N! You scared me- the boy laughed- What are you doing here? It’s really late.

- I wanted to say goodbye before you leave and... bring you something.

The boy looked at you while you took something from your handbag.

- Remember this?- you said with a smile, showing him your favourite plushie, the one with a dog shape.

Ni-ki nodded.

- I want you to take it on your tour. I know it wont probably help you to sleep better, but at least it would remind you of me and how much I love you, even if we are far from each other.

The boy tooked the plushie, that looked smaller in his hands.

- You sure you want me to take it? You alwasys sleep with it, will you be okay?- he asked, worried.

- Of course I will! But be careful and take care of him- you added quickly- And don’t take it to the pool or something!

Ni-ki laughed, hugging you tighly.

- Gosh, I’m gonna mis you so much- he mumbled.

- Me too, but we’ll be okay, I’m sure- you replied with teary eyes.

Ni-ki pulled you away sofly when he felt your tears, and wiped them away carefully.

- Shh, don’t cry, Y/N- he mumbled, cupping your face- I’ll call you every day and I’ll send you photos of your plushie, so you can see I’m taking good care of him. And of course I’ll bring you something nice.

You smiled at his words.

- You don’t need to buy me anything. Just have fun, okey? This is what you’ve always dreamed of, you have fought so much to be here, so enjoy it as much as you can. That’s the only thing I ask for, Ni-ki.

You both hugged, a mixture of happines and sadness filled the air. There wasn’t anything important left to say, except one thing.

- I love you- Ni-ki and you said at the same time.

And after the tears, your laughts filled the room.

[bts-trans]

221231 Weverse Translation

Jimin’s Post ❇️

아미 여러분 지민입니다. 2022년 올해의 마무리도 잘 하고 계신가요? 앞으로 가면갈 수록 더 그럴거라는 어른들의 이야기는 들었지만 올해는 정말 빠르게 지나간 것 같아 아쉬움이 많이 남는 해인 것 같아요. 무엇보다 여러분들과 자주 못 만났던 올해라 더 그렇겠죠? 그래도 올 해는 빠른만큼 참 많은 일들이 있었던 것 같아요. 코로나가 끝나고 오랜만에 여러분들과 만나서 울고 웃고 행복해 했었고, 우리 앨범이 나와서 음악방송 활동도 하고, 고향인 부산에서 대규모로 공연도 해보고, 호석이형 남준이형 열심히 준비한 앨범 무대들 보기도 하고, 우리 석진이형 군대에도 들어갔네요. ㅎㅎ 저도 처음으로 작업 시작해보고 작곡가들도 만나보고 이런저런일들 준비하고 있으면서 바쁘게 바쁘게 보냈던 것 같은데 뭔가 아련?아른?거리는 느낌이랄까? 그냥 여러분들 다같이 있는 곳에 가서 우리 다같이 노래부르고 여러분들 아미밤 흔들어주시는거 보고 노래불러주시는 거 듣고 여러분들 웃는거 그게 계속 그립고 그렇네요 참 우리가 서로 원하는 만큼 만난게 아니라서 그런가봐요 뭔가 다른 해 보다 말정리가 잘안되네요 뭔소리 하는건지 뭐라고 하는건지 그냥 걱정시키는게 싫었고 기다리게 하는게 싫었고 그게 너무 미안하고 또 감사하고 보고싶고 더 잘하고 싶고 그런 마음으로 올해를 지나보냅니다 여러분. 새해 복 많이 받으시구요 ! 아프지말고 아프지말고 행복하고 또 행복ㅎ한 새해 되세요 사랑하고 또 사랑합니다 💜 지민올림 ㅎㅎ https://weverse.io/bts/artist/3-110384213

Hello ARMYs, it's Jimin. 

Are you having a good end to 2022? This is something that older people have told me is going to keep happening more and more in the future but I feel like this year went by so fast and I think that I have a lot of things I feel regretful about this year More than anything else, it probably feels even more so because I wasn't able to see you all this year, right? 

Still, as fast as this year was, I think there were a lot of things that happened during it. After COVID ended, we saw you guys after a long while and we cried and laughed and were happy, And our album came out and we went on music shows, And we did a large-scale concert in my hometown, Busan, And we saw the albums and performances that Namjoonie hyung and Hoseokie hyung had been working so hard to prepare, And our Seokjinie hyung even went to the military. Hehe 

I also started working on music for the first time and met some producers and I've been pretty busy working on this and that but I feel this sorrow? a lingering sentiment??Is that how I should put it? 

I just think about going to place where all of you are there together and we all sing together and I watch you wave your ARMY bombs and listen to you sing Your smiles I just miss that constantly, so much It seems like it's because we haven't seen each other as much as we wanted to 

For some reason I'm doing a worse job of organising my thoughts this time than other years, I don't know what I'm talking about, what I'm saying 

I just hated making you worry, hated making you wait. I'm so sorry and grateful and I miss you and I want to do better, and it's with those feelings that I'm ending this year. 

Have a happy new year! Stay healthy, stay healthy, be happy and have a hhappy year I love you and, I love you 💜

From Jimin hehe

Trans cr; Aditi @ bts-trans © TAKE OUT WITH FULL CREDITS

[weirdkpopgirl]

Food is Love | Dream Headcanon #10

Headcanon: Food is Love ♡

Genre: Fluff, fluff, and more fluff!

Warnings: Mentions of food?

Word Count: 2736k

Author's Note: Honestly, I feel like it's been forever since I wrote a headcanon for the Dreamies. And this specific scenario was on my works-in-progress list for weeks! My friend did help me come up with something for Chenle and Jisung, so I really have to thank her for getting me to finish this tonight. It feels nice to write something fluffy after posting a bunch of angsty stuff. An anon did send in a request about something for Haechan, and I am working on it!

Also, I don't think anyone cares. But I did see NCT Dream last week at their TDS2 concert. My bank account may be crying, but it was so worth seeing seven boys I've come to cherish so much. To me, they're more than just handsome K-pop idols. The Dreamies put a smile on my face daily, and I'm forever grateful. I really hope to see them again someday.

Anyway, I apologize for another long author's note. Thank you for reading ^ ^

~ ~ ~

MARK

This has probably been mentioned before, but Mark would be quite the attentive boyfriend. He recalled the other day the two of you were ordering food together late at night. You said something about craving a cheeseburger, but all the American food places were closed. So on your next at-home date, Mark decided he would make you the best burger ever.

Here’s the thing, Mark and cooking did not mix too well. You walked into the kitchen with a questioning look for the man. 

“Mark, dear—what are you doing?” You asked, slightly puzzled.  Ingredients were scattered across the counter, and the paper with the recipe he was using already had a stain.

His lips formed a small pout. “I know you didn’t get to have a burger the last time we hung out. So I thought I could try making one.”

You tried not to laugh at your clueless boyfriend. But you were thankful for how thoughtful he was. As he rambled on, you leaned over the counter to take a peek at the recipe.

“Oh, this doesn’t seem that hard. Let’s do it together,” You suggested, walking around to wash your hands.

Even though you meant for this to be a teamwork thing, Mark just took a step back and let you take over the kitchen. You seemed to know what you were doing, a lot more than he did. He ended up helping with the smaller things like washing the lettuce and slicing the tomatoes.

In the next hour, you and Mark were happily eating the beautiful burgers you made.

“Good job Mark!” You approved, after taking a bite. “We should do this again sometime.”

Mark shook his head and chuckled. “Yeah, but you did like 95% of the work, (Y/n).”

His words caused you to blush and mumble a sorry. Then he’d smile and reassure you with a pat on the head. Even though things didn’t go as planned, Mark was still happy to spend some quality time with you.

✎__________________________________________________________

RENJUN

He was awakened by the morning sunshine peeking through the window shades in your bedroom. A sleepy yawn left the boy’s mouth as his eyes adjusted to the natural light. When his arms reached out to stretch, Renjun noticed the left side of the bed was empty. Your absence compelled him to groggily get up to start the day.

After quickly washing up, Renjun left the room in search of his other half. Though he was at the far end of the hallway, he was still able to take in the glorious smell of something delicious.

He spotted you in the kitchen standing behind the counter with a blue plaid apron on, and your hair tied up. A smile crept on his lips, listening to you softly sing his group’s song, Sorry Heart while you poured some water into a glass.

You nearly jumped out of your spine when you heard another voice join in. Panic immediately filled your eyes.

“Huang Renjun, you’re not supposed to be up yet!”

Your boyfriend chuckled and walked over to back hug you. “Good morning to you too?”

“No no no. I was trying to make you breakfast in bed,” You sulked. This was the first time he’s stayed the night at your place, and you wanted to surprise him.

Renjun peered over your shoulder, to see the neatly arranged dishes set up on a wooden tray. 

“Is that doenjang-jjigae?” He asked, pointing to the stone bowl containing murky brown broth. Standing behind you, he realized that the soup was what he had been smelling, along with the freshly cooked purple rice.

You nodded. “And just some banchan to go with it. I also prepared some iced lemon water, since I know you like it.”

He almost wanted to cry, thinking about how much you care to put into all this. And for him? Renjun’s heart swelled with so much adoration and endearment. He turned you around so he could press his lips to your forehead.

“What did I ever do to deserve you?”

✎__________________________________________________________

JENO

Due to his work schedule, Jeno and you didn’t get to see each other often. But whenever he had that rare day off, he’d typically spend it with you. So he was at your apartment one day, playing with your kitten in the living room. While you were somewhere else doing who knows what. So Jeno was a little upset that you weren’t paying him attention.

Tired of waiting, Jeno placed your pet in her bed and got up to look for you.

“Jagiyaaa!” He began to whine. But then he stopped when he found you in the kitchen. He caught you while setting up your small wooden dining table, full of steaming food. You had made seolleongtang, beef bone soup, and served it with kimchi on the side.

You couldn’t help but smile at your sulky boyfriend. After placing down two bowls of rice, you walked over to hug him.

“Sorry for leaving you alone. I just wanted to make lunch for you,” You murmured.

Instantly, Jeno blushed in embarrassment as you ushered him to sit down. He didn’t expect you to be doing this sort of thing for him. You even prepared his favorite side dishes!

You watched the boy devour his food with a beaming smile. Jeno didn’t think he'd ever seen you look so overjoyed before.

“You’re like a mother watching her child.” Jeno pointed out.

The smile on your lips grew, as you used your chopsticks to place a piece of meat on top of his rice. 

“I can’t help it! Seeing you eat so well makes me happy.”

Your boyfriend laughed and shook his head. “You’re something else, (Y/n).”

Though he was teasing, Jeno was very appreciative of your sweet gesture. In the back of his mind, he was already planning to cook something for you next time.

✎__________________________________________________________

HAECHAN

The two of you only began to date a few months ago. But the moment Haechan saw you, he was already whipped. Not a week went by without his members hearing the singer gushing about your cute habits or the sweet texts you sent twice a week to check up on him. 

Recently he’s learned that you liked to cook, and he would not stop bugging you about it! He was practically dying to try your food. So one day you rushed back home after your morning class to make lunch for him. When you finished making Haechan’s bento, you had a lot of leftover ingredients. So you were able to make six other bento boxes for his members.

The way the boy’s eyes enlarged when he saw you enter the practice room carrying a bag. He had seen your text about coming to visit him but didn’t expect you to bring anything. The Dreamies greeted you with enthusiasm, happy to have a break after hours of dance rehearsal.

“You said you wanted to try my cooking right?” You smiled, placing the bag down on a table before turning to his friends. “I have lunch for you guys too!”

That was how the eight of you sat at the center of the floor in a circle, munching away. The meals you made were pretty simple. Just some bulgogi with rice and vegetables. The night before you had prepared a bunch of side dishes for today.

“Wow, I didn’t know you could cook (Y/n)! Thank you.” Mark’s compliment caused you to blush at the sudden attention. Of course, Haechan took their leader’s praise as an opportunity to brag about you.

“My (Y/n) is the most amazing girlfriend, right guys?” He boasted. “She’s adorable, kind, takes time out of her day to take care of me—”

You shyly nudged the male. “Hyuck, don’t exaggerate.”

“And she’s humble too!” Haechan added.

Jisung shook his head from across the room. “Ugh, you two are insufferable.”

“On a serious note, you better be careful Lee Haechan,” Jaemin warned, flashing a flirtatious smile. “If (Y/n) keeps bringing us home-cooked food, I might just steal her from you.”

Haechan sent a scowl that Jaemin was not fazed by. 

“Don’t try to fool yourself, Na Jaeman,” He sneered, wrapping an arm around you. “(Y/n) is mine, and she loves me very much.”

The amused smile on Jaemin’s face contorted into a look of annoyance. “Yah, I told you not to stop calling me Jaeman!”

You shook your head as the other members joined in on the bickering. Shame on you for presuming that eating with 7Dream would be peaceful.

✎__________________________________________________________

JAEMIN

For someone who thought of herself as a slightly below-average person, you didn’t know you’d have much luck with love. And somehow, you ended up catching the attention of Na Jaemin. He was probably the most caring man you’ve ever encountered. His love was never-ending, and he never held back on giving you affection.

About a month into dating, you were determined to do something for Jaemin. After all, relationships should be 50/50. Expressing your emotions outwardly was not your strong suit. So you spent a sleepless night, thinking of what you could do to show Jaemin your feelings.

Jaemin was coming back to his dorm after a recording session for an upcoming album. Though he didn’t like to admit it, today’s schedule had been a tiring one. All he wanted to do was shower and go to bed. But when he noticed your gray slip-on shoes neatly placed near the doorway, the previous exhaustion he was feeling moved to the back of his mind.

As he padded across the room, a pleasantly familiar aroma filled his nose. His eyes enlarged when he found you standing in the dining area. In front of you was a neatly set table, with two stone bowls full of soup, and a heaping plate of meat at the center surrounded by several side dishes.

Then there was you wearing a nervous smile. “I know you must be tired. But you shouldn’t go to bed on an empty stomach. And I made cheonggukjang and jeyuk bokkeum since they’re your favorite foods.” 

While you rambled, Jaemin thought his heart would explode from how fast it was beating. He sat down without saying anything, which you slowly followed. You held your breath when he picked up the spoon to try the stew.

“I know it’s not as good as your mom’s but…” Your voice trailed off. You remembered Jaemin raving about his mother’s cooking. Obviously, you couldn’t compete with her. But you were hopeful that Jaemin would still appreciate your efforts.

You watched as he took the first bite, but were unable to read his expression. A million worries flooded your head. Did he hate it? Had you seriously screwed up? What if--

“Marry me.” His deep voice put a pause to your thoughts.

It took a few seconds to process what he just said. But oh man, once you did… Instantly, you were blushing profusely and covering your face. 

“Jaemin, you can’t just say stuff like that!” You mumbled. 

Jaemin smiled at you being all flustered. He had to hold back the urge to jump across the table and give you a thousand kisses.

While eating, he listened to you cutely explain how he always took care of you and was determined to show you cared too. After you were done, he’d reach across the table to take your hand and press his lips to the back of it softly.

 “Jagiya, I seriously have the sweetest girlfriend. Thank you.”

Usually, Jaemin was the one cooking for people, especially his members. The fact that you went out of your way to make him a home-cooked meal was so touching to him. When he told you to marry him, he was half-joking. You might not have been dating for long, but Jaemin was already planning his future with you. And this kind gesture of yours just sealed the deal. The simplest actions were what made him fall for you all over again.

✎__________________________________________________________

CHENLE

He was just laying on the couch, watching 7illin’ in the Dream on his phone with Daegal  laying between his legs. Eventually, he got bored of watching himself bicker with his members over foot volleyball. Then he would casually walk into the kitchen while you were prepping some food.

The boy watched as you used a pair of tongs to neatly place some beef chow mein on two plates.

“This was my grandmother’s recipe. I wanted to try making it for us,” You explained, 

Chenle met your grandma before and he had her cooking too. But making Chinese food for him was something you’ve wanted to do since you started dating. So decided to just stick with something you were already familiar with.

You didn’t even need to look up to see the teasing in Chenle’s smile. “You think you can make it better than your grandma?” He challenged.

In response, you merely shrugged and handed him a pair of wooden chopsticks. “Maybe. Try it and tell me.”

Secretly you hoped your boyfriend didn’t notice how nervous you were as he used the utensil to slurp up some noodles. Chenle felt like something exploded in his brain because your food was unexpectedly delicious. Eating this dish brought back memories of when his mom cooked for him.

“What do you think?” You waited for his reaction expectantly.

Despite how much nostalgia Chenle was feeling right now, he wasn’t quite ready to admit your cooking exceeded his expectations.

“It’s alright,” He said. You raised an eyebrow at the boy as he began to dig further into the meal before him. 

“Only alright, huh?”

“It’s because I’m hungry.”

You held back from laughing, clearly not convinced by Chenle’s excuse. 

“Well if my food is just alright, I guess you don’t want to eat it. I’ll feed the rest to Daegal.” You faked a pout and began to pull the food away from him.

Chenle quickly tried to counter his prior words. “Yah, you can’t take away something you offered me first!”

You chuckled and shook your head before telling him to at least eat at the dining table. Later that night, the two of you were laying in his bed. 

“So…when are you going to cook for me again?” He asked out of the blue, sounding all innocent. 

You turned your head to face him. “You really think my cooking is good then?”

“Okay, okay I admit.” Chenle playfully rolled his eyes and pulled you into his arms. “So will you make something tomorrow? You said you know how to make kimchi fried rice too, right?”

Internally, your stomach was doing little flips because of how pleased you were that Chenle approved of your cooking. But you played it off, pretending to give in reluctantly.

“Okay, I guess so.”

“Yes, let’s go man!!!” He shouted in English.

You cursed at him with your eyes for being so loud when you were trying to fall asleep. Chenle laughed in embarrassment and hugged you tighter so you couldn’t escape his embrace. Strangely, the boy’s teasing only made you fall for him more. You guessed it was part of his charm.

✎__________________________________________________________

JISUNG

So Jisung was playing games on his PC when a sweet aroma encompassed him. Acting like a stray puppy, the young dancer followed the smell down the hallway. He waddled into the living room, where you were sitting at the dining table. In front of you was a fish-shaped cake pan, and beside it was a heaping plate of freshly made treats.

Jisung gasped and covered his mouth. “Wah, you made bunggeo-bang?”

“Yeah, it’s your favorite right?” You hummed. “I ordered the pan a while ago, and it finally came yesterday.”

Your boyfriend stared in awe as you picked up a piece for him to try. After the first bite, Jisung’s taste buds exploded.

“Oh, mashiso!” He pouted slightly, out of gratitude. 

Staring into your eyes sparkling with joy, made Jisung wonder where and how he got this beautiful thing from. You giggled at his reaction when the male squeezed you into a hug.

“I really love you.”  Usually saying those words were scary for him. But with you, it just felt so right.

You grinned and patted his back. “I really love you too, Jisung.”

And then the two of you went on to feeding each other bunggeo-bang and sharing a lovely moment.

✎__________________________________________________________

[noirvette]

WE NEVER EXISTED

[band smau]

[EIGHT]

masterlist.

prev. | next.

After the whole fiasco with Kenny a couple days ago you were nervous about if you had recently done something to annoy him. Kenny hasn’t ever really been this distant to you before, so this whole thing was somewhat surprising to you. You had been really worried over the situation and decided that giving him some space was maybe necessary. He messaged you a couple days ago that shit had hit the fan a couple days ago with Butters and that he was sorry for his recent behavior.

Knowing that it wasn’t you calmed your nerves, in fact it relieved you of your stress almost entirely. Nichole wasn’t exactly trusting of the situation, you knew that, she even mentioned it a few times that she “didn’t feel like Kenny was being exactly truthful” or that she “just has a gut feeling.” and no matter how many times she said “no, I believe you girl.” it didn’t exactly make you feel any better about forgiving Kenny, but she just wanted what was best for you and you knew that too.

Wendy and Bebe seemed hesitant to believe you when you told them that Kenny had some troubles with Butters recently too, but if they had any actual doubts they never mentioned them to you like Nichole did. You weren’t exactly sure if you should be grateful or concerned that they said nothing.

Clyde tagged along a few times with you and the girls while out and you were grateful for him too, because whenever Clyde was around his mood always managed to make the tiniest of worries in your head go away. You don't know how he does it but Clyde (and the girls of course) made the last few days the funnest experience of your life as of now.

What surprised you the most however was that Kyle was distant and almost cold like to you ever since you and the girls went out, he had spent most of his days cooped up in his hotel room working on schedules or practice times. You weren’t sure what was going on with him, but you hadn’t had a chance to ask him how he was doing besides with just one or two texts, which he responded promptly with one word answers. Your time had been spent having fun few days with the girls. You asked Stan about it in passing but all he said was that Kyle was just trying to keep the band busy. You didn’t entirely believe him but without proof and with how limited Kyle was in talking to you, you had no choice but to believe him.

Stan had honestly been a rock in your life as of late, if it wasn’t for him, you don’t know how you’d have been able to manage the reality of the stalker. It had been nice to have a distraction from the girls with going out and having fun, but that was a distraction, the weight of the situation still sat heavy in the back of your mind every time you came back to your hotel room and Stan knew what you had been feeling, having experienced at least some of the weight of what having a stalker actually meant because of the night of the last concert. Stan helped make the whole processing of what the fuck the past few days had been easier, honestly you'd think of yourself as going crazy if you had been left to your own devices.

Sighing and waiving the thought of the stalker out of your mind, you look at Nichole and Clyde who are both passed out in their seats next to you. With how bored you were you were rather jealous of them being able to sleep so soundly. If it weren’t for your nerves you probably would be asleep like them, but the prospect of being able to see Kenny again kept you up, the series of small gift bags locked up tight in your suitcase making you giddy as you thought about Kenny’s reaction to them. You bought him a few things, some random streetwear you thought he may like, a new pair of shoes, a mini picture collage of pictures you took of New York for him, and this small duck plush that you thought looked like him.

Maybe it was the nerves finally calming down, maybe it was the lull of the airplane and the fact it was silent, or maybe it was the stress of what you had gone through as of late, but you felt your eyes drop and before you knew it, you were knocked out.

As Kenny waits for you at the airport, he can't help but think about every single lie he’s recently committed and how to make sure he doesn’t get caught up in it.

First lie, being faithful…

Honestly that’s really THE lie, but because of that he’s now been spitballing lies like crazy recently. Like telling Tolkien that Karen needs his help and that he can’t go out when he’s going to meet up with Red for a date, or driving down to Denver to meet Red in some cheap motel and telling Butters he’s going out to visit his brother who thankfully lives in Denver, or like blaming Butters as the reason for his behavior to you and Kyle, who unfortunately won’t stop chewing him out for his actions.

Kyle pisses Kenny off immensely and he doesn’t understand why Kyle won’t hop off his dick when it comes to you. Not to toot his own horn in any way but Kenny thinks of himself as a pretty good boyfriend, recent behaviors aside, but besides that he’s already cut ties off with Red so he won’t have to worry about that. And Kyle just won’t let up and Kenny’s about had it with Kyle and his freaky obsession with you. Honestly he has half a mind to tell you all about Kyle’s behavior, which ranges from asking about you whenever Kenny and you are out on a date, to this, chewing him out as if Kyle’s the one dating you. Not to mention high school Kyle…. Kenny clicks his tongue in annoyance.

The thought of Kyle and you dating sours Kenny’s mood and he catches himself debating the pros and cons of shit talking about Kyle to you. It certainly would cause tension between the band.. But is that all so bad? If the band breaks up then you’d be able to spend time with him! Here in South Park! But by doing that Kenny’ll lose his best friends in the process. Deciding against it for the betterment of the group he realizes you and the others are calling out to him and heading his way.

“Kenny!!” You exclaim, running towards him and pulling him into a hug as you pepper his face in kisses.

Kenny wraps his arms around your waist pulling you up and spins you around, kissing you deeply in response.

You hear a series of groans of irritation from everyone and a “Stop the PDA bozos!” from Clyde, but you could care less, you haven’t seen your boyfriend for a near month now and Kenny flips them off, while still kissing you. When he finally pulls away to breathe, he immediately presses a few more kisses to your temple and sets you down, but still holds you against him in a hug.

“Hi baby,” Kenny whispers, his eyes are pricked with tears at the fact he gets to see you face to face again, “you’ve been away too long.”

“Yeah, I have.” you whisper back, putting your head on his shoulders, he sways with you in his arms and after a few seconds you hear Kyle cough, “Sorry to break up your guys’ reunion but I’ve got our bags..” he trails off, clearly uncomfortable at witnessing the PDA from you two. Kenny breathes out in annoyance and hesitantly lets you go.

“Thanks Kyle, is mine on the top like I asked?” You ask, walking over towards the cart of luggage, Kyle hums a low “mmhmm” in response and grabs your suitcase, setting it down gently for you. At this point most of the band and co have started walking off, ready to get going and finally get back to their apartments.

Setting it down you open it slightly, allowing for you to grab the small gift bags you got for Kenny, you close up your suitcase and place it back on the cart, before walking over to Kenny with the gift bags, “Your gifts, Ken,” you hand them over to him, his face tinged red with embarrassment, “I hope you like them.”

He kisses the crown of your head, “I’m sure I will.”

Just as you two were about to kiss once more, Clyde cuts you two off, disgust laced in his words, “Again! Seriously? I wanna go home already!”

TAGLIST: @captivq @kimiesstuff @bwljules @the-cooler-kira @1one1person1 @kenny-the-ken @neenieweenie @n0tangeliccc @revzxn @mirophobic @gonefiishiing @musiclovebot @bootsieboo @bonez4brainz @4xbei77 @1996kj @sweetadonisbutbetter @scinclaitnoir @okarigold

[sserajeanspics]

kazuha weverse update

To. FEARNOTs Quite unexpectedly, our first tour came to an end with a sad heart... I couldn't have imagined that the show would end without being able to finish until the last performance, so I was taken aback by this sudden event, and most of all, I felt very sorry to FEARNOT, who had been waiting and looking forward to our performance. I'm going on a tour to meet more FEARNOTs in various cities and to spread good energy to the FEARNOTs who came to the concert, but that wasn't working, so I felt sad and wondered what I was doing. When I heard that I might hold a solo concert a little over a year after my debut, it felt like a dream and I was full of longing and anticipation for the concert. As I was actually on tour, there were many parts that felt unfamiliar or difficult, and with each performance, I thought a lot of things like, “Should we have done it this way?” or “Let’s do it this way next time.” Also, I think I spent a lot of time reflecting on my own attitude on stage and my behavior and attitude as an idol, wondering what I can do to enjoy it more, and what I should say to make us feel closer on stage. I was very happy to meet many FEARNOTs through the tour, but when I saw everyone at the large event, I also thought about how great it would be if I could talk to each and every FEARNOTs while making eye contact. For us, each and every performance is really special, and even if it's the same stage, we feel different every time we're on stage and the memories we make are different. As for FEARNOTs, who was there, the excitement of not knowing what would happen every time made me look forward to the next performance even more. I'm really upset that I couldn't perform until the last city, but the memories with FEARNOT through the tour are a special treasure that I will never forget. Once again, thank you so much to everyone who came to this tour and to everyone who supported and wished for the success of the tour🫶 In the future, I will grow even more and return the great love you have received through great music and performances! And lastly, we are very grateful to the staff who always did their best to support us. Not only for this tour, I think there will be a lot more people working hard and supporting us than I think. I don't know if it will reach each person, but I really want to express my sincere gratitude...! I will hold in my heart the special memories I received from FEARNOT through this tour, and I will work hard no matter what happens in the future, so please stay by my side forever, FEARNOTs🤍

[themotherofallthings]

The end of the Love on Tour era

I don't even know what to say or where to begin. Love on Tour is coming to an end and a part of me can't help but feel like I'm losing something. It's an ineffable feeling that I can't quite describe but it's been weighing on me for a while now.

I have lived this tour with so many in this fandom, and right along with Harry. It has been a part of my life for nearly 3 years. And even though the universe, fate and COVID conspired against me, it's hard to be bitter about not seeing the this tour live (though I could muster a rant at the drop of hat if the mood should move me). I can safely say of the 174 shows he performed, I was there, via livestream, for most of them.

I've last track of endless cities, countries, setlists, outfit changes, band members coming& going, IG accounts that went live & the thousands of interactions Harry has had with his fans & I've had with my moots every show night here on Twitter. But I will never forget the happiness it brought me. I have little to regret for how I've spent my time these last 3 years. Given what has transpired since this tour started, I'm more than grateful and feel blessed that I got to spend so much of it with Harry and my beautiful moots.

Love on Tour really became my personal happy, rainbow tinged bubble that I would seal myself inside of every show night and enjoy watching Harry get to live out his dream & share his god given talent with us. I was lucky enough to have a front row seat, to cheer him on. Laughing at his goofy antics & endlessly meme-able facial expressions. My heart swelling with pride to see his genuine interest & concern for his fans enjoyment & safety every show. Sitting in awe of his humility as he became overwhelmed by it all.

I get it Harry, being loved by so many and having such success, can be terrifyingly overwhelming & every time you hid your face in your hands, I'd say a little prayer for you, hoping you'd never experience anything but this kind of happiness for the entirety of your life. Knowing deep down that it's not in my power to grant such a blessing.

So thank you Harry. I've loved every single minute. Thank you to the Love band for being amazing and such a supportive and close knit tour family for Harry while on the road. Thank you to the crew and bus drivers and the pilots for transporting our guy safely to and from all his tour stops. Thank you to the craft services people for feeding my son healthy, nutritious meals so he could stay strong & perform at his peak.

Thank you to the fans that came out and showed Harry nothing but love and joy by singing their hearts out, dancing, dressing up in every manner of fruit and for not throwing shit at him. Thank you to all the dedicated, selfless fans who went live for each show making it possible for so many fans, like myself who could not attend, get to experience Love on Tour in all it's amazing glitchy, technicolour. Seriously some of those lives were excruciating but we clung to them for dear life. Bless you all. Thanks to all the UAs & fans who kept us updated on all the concert shenanigans. 

And thank you to all my moots who filled my timeline (Twitter and Tumblr) with endless pictures, videos, memes, gifs, emojis, alphabet screams and laughter over the course of the last 3 years. It has been a fucking adventure and an honour to have experienced Love on Tour with all of you. Special shout out to my group chat moots for letting me rant, vent and scream about a certain stunt that shall remain nameless. Ti amo.

Whatever happens after Saturday, I know Harry will have felt our love and I know he won't stay away forever, because he loves us just as much. He is our happy place and we are his.

So until next time remember to put love out into the world. Be kind to yourself. And never take a single minute for granted.

#Peace

[jimimn]

I was really hurt throughout the whole tour because he couldn't come close to my country and I wasn't able to see him, which is not his fault of course. But even though I couldn't see him in person, his tour was still so much comfort for me. I wasn't really doing well mentally these past few months, and I could always cheer up whenever he had a concert and we had clips and photos of him. It was really special even if I could only see him through a screen. And his presence truly made me forget that they are not together right now. In my head it was just Yoongi doing a solo tour but everything else is the same and okay. And now today after the ending segment... It hit me again. Especially after his ment, I know what's coming... We all know. And it's just hurting so much again. And the tour was a good distraction but now it's over and he's going to take a happy part of me with himself. I'm so grateful to him and I'm so proud of him, and I want to thank him for allowing me to live in this happy bubble for a few months. Even if it hurts right now, I know future is going to be okay. We just have to hold on for a little more. ♡

yeah it was not his fault :( tannies always say that they would go to every country where armys are there but its not always possible right :( by that logic i should always be hurt and pissed because foreign artist concerts in my country are an extremely extremely rare sight. i obviously get being sad, i was too. thinking i'd probably never be able to see tannies in a concert ever. but we always have to remember that its not their fault :( and i know right. same. his tour was such a happy time for me too. seeing him have SO much fun onstage gave me so much happiness 😭 yeah you're right it was a good distraction :( [god i wish i had answered this earlier bc what you're talking about actually happened and i. im devastated] so thankful to yoongi for leaving us with such simple yet such strong words "future's gonna be okay". I believe him wholeheartedly. it is gonna be okay <3 not just as an army but also in my personal life. idk whats gonna happen by 2025 but its gonna be okay :(<3