#i know i'm thinking about it WAY too hard but it's literally rachel wanting to roleplay as mads mikkelson LMAO

[genericpuff]

Wait wait when did RS draw herself getting whisked away by Mads or did Hannibal art of HxP? Was this the art where Persephone is holding an eyeball or is that different art?

sigh

[rach-amber]

Hi, it’s me again (:

What was your favorite character traits about Rachel Amber?

Hey! Happy to see you and boy what a great question, thank you! Loaded answer ahead; TLDR, see the good in Rachel Amber.

Rachel's many things. Pretty, hot, charming, stylish, not to mention her lovely voice, these physical traits are already a great start for many. Then you have functional traits-- ambidextrous (can I just say that's hella cool, omg I want that too), social genius/people skills, straight As student, drama queen, masked with a layer of mystery, many people would've already fallen for her, in-game and out, me being one of them when I first got to know her as a character (so pretty much those were my fav traits of her).

But if we strip her physical beauty down and shove aside her fascinating skillset, who is she really? We may never know 100%, but some character traits can still be found.

Here are some of my favourite (&underrated) Yangs to Rachel Amber's sides. aka why Rachel Amber should get more love & less hate from the fandom

Ofc there are exceptions, but those are not relevant in this post; assumptions & headcannons are added

1. A good heart

Kindness to me will always be one of the most important character traits to have for anyone. With all that powerhouse of a Rachel Amber can accomplish, she chooses to use them with kindness.

With her social skills she chooses to lift people up, saving Hayden from a quickly-escalating scolding from Mr Keaton in ep 1, asking Chloe in a nuanced way if she's "taking (getting kicked outta Blackwell) this a little too well", kinda guiding her independent thinking rather than directly telling her what's right or wrong. (There'd be constructive criticism between Chloe & Rachel, which I stan in a relationship/friendship.)

With her intelligence she tutors Justin & helped him improve his algebra from an F to a C I believe? That's pretty impressive, ngl

with her ambidexterity.. idk, she makes Chloe happy :> (yes i'm totally referring to doing graffiti with her left hand on Chloe's insistence *cough*)

This is why I'm inclined to believe that tornado was not Rachel's revenge. She'd never choose to put Chloe, her parents, her friends, at risk; if she wanted revenge she could've killed the men w her powers. Sure you can say some of these might be her trying to live up to her DA father / principal assistant's duties, but at least she chose to do them. She could very well be a kid who doesn't give a damn or fluff through some of these things that requires time & effort.

2. Sees the good in others!

One of the most underrated Rachel Amber traits imo. This girl literally has a reputation of "her friends are her friends", and does not discriminate in terms of friendship/who she hangs out with. She picked Chloe up from her lowest (saw her & praised her for backtalking the biker, defending Nathan, & "you're more of a hero than you think you realise", when Chloe didn't take Drew's money). Rachel stuck with Chloe when no one else did (puts up with her sh*t, which ofc Chloe does the same), literally chose Chloe to share her uncertain future outside Arcadia, did not take her chance to leave when she could in those 3 years, most likely cuz she wanted to leave with Chlo. She also hung out with Nathan (& Chloe when so many wouldn't), saw the good in Frank (yes. same as Nathan & Chloe his reputation is far from great and despite the unhealthiness of this relationship, she at the very least cared for the guy, & saw the humanity inside him), & very sadly fell for the portrayed "gone through some serious shit" act by Jeffers*n, all these showing her being an empathetic & sympathetic person.

I'll add non-judgemental as well, cuz it's why she's able to get along with so many people so well. Like what her VA Kylie Brown says in an interview, whoever you are, Rachel'd be like "hey you're a pretty cool person, let's talk!" It's inspiring. I love that about her. Gotta have more Rachels in the world.

3. Ambitious. Puts in the hard work. Persistent.

"One day, I'm gonna climb Mt Everst." says a 15 year old Rachel in Bts, who has posters of travelling in Asia (the green poster has Chinese words saying "go travel in China", amongst others), already speaks about her courage & ambition. And of course, leaving Arcadia with no one but Chloe for a better life. Yes you can say it's reckless, because it's a big idea for a teenager, but she didn't just give up on it. It stuck with her, and she worked hard for it. Doing photoshoots to get modelling jobs, maintaining her 4.0 GPA, finding opportunities to leave... she did those for 5 years. And in the comics universe, they made it out! Now they're over 22yos with an LA apartment, Rachel's in modelling gigs with her acting career kicking off... what could've been for game Rachel. (oh the things I'd do for Bts' ending to be Max appearing in the nick of time instead of that damn vibrating phone!) Also I wonder if in some universes, like the wheelchair Chloe one, a missing Rachel could mean she actually made it out without others knowing, instead of the darker end.

4. Caring & thoughtful & protective & passionate partner/friend/lover!

She listens to Chloe's problems (therapy session), she gives Chloe nice clothes to wear within the few days they'd met (what financially challenged Chloe needed, & in a way that wasn't awkward for Chloe), she sends post cards to Chloe while she's away (she thinks about her often), & "don't f****ing touch her". Passionate lover, I mean.. the way she kissed Chloe under that lamp (with high intimacy of course) is good enough an example. Chloe's the romantic one in my head. Rachel, the passionate.

*the way she puts her hand on C's shoulder after wiping her tears, OmO*

So far these are the character traits I can think of, and your question helped draw out Rachel's positive sides that are too under-recognised. Thanks again! :)

These links helped me understand Rachel & Amberprice better, here for people's reference:

Because I choose to see the good in Rachel, I'm her defender through and through. Join me, if you can.

Edit: damn I literally wrote an essay, maybe 1 day there'd be a video!

This pain wouldn't be for Evermore.

[nikatyler]

List 5 facts about a favorite sim of yours, and send this to simblrs whose sims you adore 💜

Thank you! I felt like answering for Caleb this time. Probably some long time followers will remember some of this but I haven't talked about him in a while sooo yeah, nothing too obscure today :D

Caleb very rarely raises his voice. He's always very quiet, it's just how his voice is. He often has to repeat what he said because people didn't understand him the first time, which he hates and he's very anxious about it, but at the same time, talking louder is just so hard.

In his brief teaching era, he was really nice to his students, maybe too nice sometimes. He found it difficult to engage them in some activities and he often let it slide. They rarely misbehaved in his classes but joked about him a lot behind his back. But then there was also a small number of people who actually really liked him and his classes and felt sorry for how people viewed him. (Shoutout to my favourite uni professor, you were the goat even if you seemed like you were scared of us, you didn't deserve half the things people said about you)

He literally didn't believe in aliens until he gave birth to one. Sure, he thought there is intelligent life out there somewhere, but not that they'd be the classic Earth depiction of an alien or that they'd even want to make contact with humans, let alone pollinate them (and in his case, also fix his infertility issues by that)

Speaking of that, in the old original legacy, he eventually had twins with Rachel, it took a while, but whatever the aliens did with him, years later it kicked in and well Caleb and Rachel found the hard way lol. I'm not sure how to go about it now. Do we keep the twins even in the new canon, what do you think? I feel like I should keep them but also, I just don't know. How about them adopting instead? Or they have one biological child and one adopted -- oh hold up yeah what if they decide to adopt and then surprise, you're actually expecting too, so they end up having two kids. Or is that cheesy. Idk. I mean it's the sims so it can be cheesy I guess. Thoughts?

He's got this aura of a smart mature soft person around him, people would actually be surprised how full of swearing his inner monologue is :D They're always shocked when it comes out and he's just like -- that's normal, stop freaking out? 🤨 And then it hits him that he normally doesn't speak like that out loud.

Thanks for the ask! ♥

[lakesbian]

Dearest Aisha, I hope this letter finds you well on this horrible sunny day. I’m leaving you this message because my heart is twisted in twain, and you must know that it’s not you, it’s me. What we had was wonderful, but alas, my future in the Bay is either woefully short or non-existent and as such I must bid you adieu. Or in plain English, I’m leaving because this whole plan Glory and Taylor cooked up isn’t my thing and would just put a target on my back. Maybe things would’ve been different if we weren’t pulling up the curtain, but oh well. Try not to be too upset about it. I left the playstation behind, and feel free to save over my old files. Say bye to the others for me, just don’t be too mushy about it. -Alec.

JESUS. WHY DO PEOPLE THINK HE TALKS LIKE THIS. alec wouldnt say bid you adieu if you paid him. or Twain. or Dearest Aisha. oh my god hed gag before saying dearest aisha. hang on we need a full count off of the sins here

the base premise that he didn't discuss his feelings about victoria and taylor's plan with aisha beforehand is absurd--they're extremely communicative with each other

the base premise that taylor would go along with anything victoria cop dallon said in the first place is insane and makes me want to see the person op thinks victoria is killed badly by bugs

the base premise that Aisha is fine with victoria cop dallon's plans instead of going "alec isnt this fucking sucks." is insane.

the base premise that alec is the only undersider not okay with victoria cop dallon's plans is also insane. I'm going to be real with you they would kill her immediately and without hesitation for alec and they dont even like him that much.

again, it's absurd to act as if aisha and alec are noncommunicative enough that he would drop this on her as opposed to telling her he was considering leaving off the bat. also i think she has enough wrong with her that she would want to go with him. but i digress, that's besides the point because

alec would not want to leave without aisha in the first place. people latch on so hard to him casually suggesting leaving the undersiders in that one early chapter but like. he's doing that bc it's in the context of a hypothetical scenario where his dad is getting after him. he always unequivocally backs them & follows their lead when they get into Shit That Is Not About Him--he's just both not wanting 2 burden the undersiders w/ having 2 deal w/ his dad + assuming that they wouldn't necessarily Want to help. once they say they would help he's like. oh ok. and this is certainly the last time he ever even considers leaving. those are the only ppl he has he's not walking his ass out of there. he Thinks he doesn't care but in any situation where he's at risk of exiting or losing one of them he leans HARD into backing them up. e.g. knocking himself unconscious to help brian sacrificing himself for aisha suggesting leaving town As A Team when the s9 is there and explicitly mentioning stopping to pick up rachel first. his actions demonstrate how he feels even if he isnt consciously aware of it. this entire situation is cartoonishly implausible but even if it did happen he would just not react this way

anyway the fic literally just ends like this.

A/N: And so the curtain rises. Or sets? Maybe it’s an interlude? Or a intermission? I didn’t really think this metaphor through. Writing Alec is hard, but I’m hoping I managed well here. No, this is not an elaborate rug pull or “oh he shows up later”. Alec is gone. He doesn’t show up for the rest of the story. And the reasoning for that should be laid out pretty clearly here. Maybe in another world, where Tori and Taylor resolved the communication issue before this point, they could’ve had that conversation. But they didn’t and he didn’t. So the only way out was out. Alec was never going to be willing to unmask. And with that knowledge, what happened last chapter should be a lot clearer. Today’s rec is an essay on Alec’s Costume by ewingstan on Tumblr, which does an excellent job breaking down his character in terms of psychology and code switching between his cape self and who he is regularly. Or rather, how there’s not much difference at all. I’ll see you all next week.

YOU DID NOT MANAGE WELL. HOW ARE YOU READING AND LINKING GOOD ALEC POSTS (albeit ones i had a bit 2 expand on but like. Its a good post it stands on its own.) but not internalizing Any Of Them. my god. this is so funny. there he goes fucking off into the sunset leaving literally his entire life behind because op understands nothing about him. resti n peace boy. ok thus concludes my Complaining. i'd apologize but its my blog and i can do what i want forever

[i-only-want-endless-happiness]

Dear pjo fandom

I just read the sun and the stars and i was so happy to come here and see all the little cute fan arts and what i find is a bunch of adults complaining about a child books series istg this fandom is one of the most toxic ones out there.

Now i could tell you that if you want to consume a product whatever it is movies,books,tv shows ecc that's explicitly for kids/preteens you have to approch it with the right mentality which is letting your inner child enjoy the product if you're 20+ something, cause of course the adult you won't feel the same wonder, and sure kids products don't have to be bad or bland and there are other things out there aimed at kids that are better than tsats BUT it's not a bad book, mark oshiro did such a good job at portraying healing and trauma, they also did an amazing job at presenting to middle schoolers the idea of romantic relationships being not all roses and flowers and unicorns, human relationships are hard no matter the kind, it's something difficult to accept and to deal with especially when every single fairy tale you read as a kid teaches you that there is a happily ever after, that after adversities everything gets solved and goes fine, when you grow up you learn that nothing is further from the truth than that, i could also tell you that of course the concept is extremely simplified but again it's a book for kids/preteens, i could tell you to not go for something you know it's not targeted to you if you want approch it in a cynical way, i could give you as example that reading tsats and wanting maturity out of it is like going to watch a disney animation movie and then complaining they sing too much. Cause now you have to tell me when rick riordan has been mature or not cringe in the whole entirity of the pjo saga? He literally wrote a dam joke after killing off a 12 years old, added a judo flip to a romantic reunion of two characters that haven't seen each others for almost a year, wrote a romantic declaration from a 20 years old something to a 16 years old girl, wrote about gods falling for the stupidiest shit said by teenagers demigods, made percy at 12 years old won a fight against the fucking god of war and i could go on so if that has been ok with you till now what is even the point? The truth is y'all are not complaining cause the book feels immature/cringe/ooc ecc y'all are complaining cause you hate will and you hate him cause you ship nico with percy,jason,leo or who knows who and that's ok you don't have to like will or solangelo you can ship whatever you want (i'm an "anomaly" in this fandom i never shipped percabeth, i started prefering percy and rachel and i ended up loving the idea of annabeth and piper, still i can be objective enough to read a whole saga where percy and annabeth are the main couple and not shit on it just cause i don't ship them together) of course you can complain about this book but at least make an effort and think of valid reasons. The real problem is why did you decide to buy and read a book that focuses as one of the main plots on a relationship you hate so much, if you can't stand them as a couple why did you read it in the first place? This book is not perfect it lacks things and there are topics that needed to be handled better sure, but it's not bad,ooc or cringe, cheesy maybe but not the kind of cringe you are trying to make it pass. The real deal here is you don't really care about any of those things you just hate the ship the book revolves around and again that's fine but just be honest it's way more respectful than taking away the work af a queer author that tried to settle more the idea of a queer couple being normal and equal to a straight one to a group of young people who are living in a society that still is against queer people.

Damnit shut up, do it for the gay kids

A former kid (still queer tho)

(if i made mistakes forgive me english is not my first language)

[funnypansexualanimorph]

Its been a while, so here's the prologue to my fanfic once more.

My name is Marco. I could tell you my last name at this point, but why stop tradition? I didn't think there would be another story to tell, if I'm honest. But here we are, another saga from the Animorphs. Surprise!

The Yeerks are defeated, the last remaining ships scattered about are being hunted down as we speak. You'd think we could relax, right? Right? Nah, that'd be too easy.

So I guess… I should explain a few things. The Andalites upgraded the morphing time limit. Or perhaps the Ellimist did… either way, we were given the gift of it.

Tobias, you remember bird-boy right? Well he spends most of his time in his human morph. I mean, I don't exactly blame the guy, considering dating in the bird world is pretty dangerous. Plus, gag me with a spoon, he's dating Rachel.

Rachel is still her Xena: Warrior Princess self, not taking shit from anyone. She's a model now… big surprise right? Jake and Cassie spend a lot of time together. they're pretty on and off again. I know they will eventually end up together permanently but they've got some shit to work out first.

Jake's too stuck in his own head, and Cassie tends a lot of animals now. Jake's the ambassador for Earth, the Andalites call him the 'Human Prince." so he can't exactly put anything behind him… and i know he's having a hard time. Cassie works with some the Chee. they're very good at veterinary duties and all of them enjoy it. She usually lets them deal with the canines when she can. She's busy, but always has time for the old team.

As for Ax, being an Andalite Prince has it's ups and downs. His people are particularly pissed that he refuses to leave Earth. well. he's sorta got a reason. At least I hope my idea for the reason is correct.

And what about me? well. I live in the woods with Ax and Tobias now. In Ax's Scoop, actually. I could probably quote to you verbatim every single episode of The Young And The Restless with how often Ax watches the re-runs. It's peaceful for the most part, and enjoyable. Ax has been in human morph a lot, so I'm teaching him how to blend in as a human. He's learning pretty damn fast.

You can imagine how hard it is to pretend to be normal after what we went through. It was literal hell. More hell than hell itself. So naturally we're all a bit fucked up now. just trying to thrive and avoid the press and finally deal with all the trauma we endured. In a way, I think that we wanted something new to happen.

Anyway… I've rambled on for long enough. Step into my lair, said the dreth to the chorkant. See you on the other side…

-----

So the Prologue tells you nothing really. The fic is called Into the Lion's Den and it is an Animorphs/Voltron Legendary Defender crossover.

AU: Rachel is alive

Pairings: AxMarco, RachelTobias, JakeCassie, Klance, Hidge,

LMK if you want to see more.

@tobergrae

[fallevs]

I found this Glee game around Tumblr but the creator's profile is disabled. If anyone recognizes it let me know and I'll mention it!

1. Favourite season 1 episode: The Power of Madonna (1x15) I literally love everything about this episode. Especially the introduction of cheerio!Kurt and the 4 Minutes performance! Pure gold.

2. Favourite season 2 episode: Original Song (2x16) Do I need to specify that? The beginning of klaine 💘💖💞

3. Favourite season 3 episode: I'm undecided between The First Time (3x05) and Nationals (3x21) The first one because, of course, klaine. The Nationals episode is too good, though. It shows their coming together as a group and the songs are beautiful. And then they win! Nothing else to say.

4. Favourite season 4 episode: I'm not a fan of season four, so it's hard to choose. I would say I Do (4x14) because of, again, klaine scenes which are BEAUTIFUL (horny!Kurt is what I love most). But I would say maybe Wonder-ful (4x21) for the positivity of the episode. Super cute.

5. Favourite season 5 episode: Here I feel I must necessarily mention two episodes. Love, love, love (5x01) and Tina in the Sky with Diamonds (5x02). The first for the most beautiful marriage proposal in history. The second for Hey Jude. What happened to Tina is atrocious and their way of consoling and support her is wonderful. This is the real Glee!

6. Favourite season 6 episode: Am I repetitive? Who cares! A wedding (6x08) because "There's no one else" makes me scream every time. I loved the idea of them getting married just like that, out of nowhere, without some couples therapy first? No. But they love each other and I'm okay with that.

7. Episode that makes me cry: The Quarterback (5x01) enough said. But also Grilled Cheesus (2x03) I see myself very much in what happens to Kurt. It makes me cry every time.

8. Episode that makes me laugh: Previously Unaired Christmas (5x08) I'm probably the only one but the silliness and surrealism of this episode makes me pee my pants.

9. Favourite tribute episode: again, The Power of Madonna (1x15) this is seriously amazing. Just iconic.

10. Favourite Christmas episode: A Very Glee Christmas (2x10) OBVIOUSLY because of Baby It’s Cold Outside. But I also really like Glee, Actually (4x10) if it weren't for the Jake and Puck part that I find very boring... please don't hate me.

11. Episode with the best songs: I would say Nationals. And Rachel sings what I think is her best solo of the series. I get goosebumps thinking about it.

12. Favourite sectionals episode: Sectionals (1x13) because of Don’t Rain on My Parade and My life would suck without you.

13. Favourite regionals episode: Original Song (2x16) nothing can beat it (we pretend that Candles does not exist)

14. Favourite nationals episode: Nationals (3x21) of course!!!

15. Episode most people like but I don’t: Blame It on the Alcohol (2x14) okay. Here I think I'm going to get a lot of criticism. It is definitely funny and hilarious, but I CANNOT accept Rachel's selfishness toward what she calls her best friend. I'm sorry but that's the way it is. I also cannot stand that Kurt is called biphobic. He's not biphobic: he's just a 16-year-old boy in love and jealous who couldn't give a good speech at the moment, that's all.

16. Episode most people dislike but I like: The Hurt Locker Part 2 (6x05) I literally love everything about this episode. It is INSANE and just so funny. That klaine kiss... *swoon*

@shame-is-a-wasted-emotion @kurtsascot @special-bc-ur-part-of-it @annepi-blog @justgleekout @klaine-in-the-impala @bitbybitwrites, if you want 🫶🏻

Even those I haven't tagged, do it!!!

[oh-hush-its-perfect]

how the hoo characters would react upon being asked about taylor swift

PERCY: She's pretty good. Yeah, I listened to the new version of Speak Now and it kinda went harder than I thought it would. I'm not, like, a "worship the ground she walks on" kinda guy, but I guess I like enough of her songs to consider myself a Swiftie. Guilty pleasure, I guess.

ANNABETH: Oh, gosh. People always ask me this. Uh, long story short— oh, right, that's one of her songs. That's kinda funny— I liked her music a lot when I was younger. Like, "Better than Revenge" was my thing when I was fifteen. And, yeah, I've listened to most of her albums. I liked Midnights and folklore and evermore. But I was never in love with her as a person. I just relate to some of her songs. Oh, gods, I couldn't count how many times I've cried to "Would've, Could've, Should've." But I heard someone call her the "greatest songwriter of our generation," and that's just... That's a bit bizarre for me. I think she's good as an artist, though. So... I guess I like her music, but I'm definitely not a Swiftie.

PIPER: Uhhh, I don't know. Like, her music is terrible or anything, but it's not really my taste. But as a person? I don't know, the whole Matty Healy thing just rubbed me the wrong way, and... I mean, she's a rich white lady doing rich white lady things. My dad asked me if I wanted her at my birthday party once. I said no, but I also said no to the Regrettes, and I'm literally in love with Lydia Knight. I'm happy for her with the tour and all, but not really my scene, no. But Jason likes her so I try to be supportive.

JASON: Oh, my gods. She's like... I don't know if she's my favorite artist, but she's up there. I mean, like, she's just so classy and her music is just so good. The way she uses synths is like... it's like magic. And her lyrics— I mean, you can't get much more relatable than that. My favorite album is probably... Lover? Or maybe Red. Then again, maybe it's 1989. It's so hard to pick. I guess I'm kind of a hopeless romantic at the end of the day.

LEO: Taylor Swift? Well, like, she's hot.

THALIA: Not really my style. But if she did a punk-pop or metal album, I'd be down for that. Like, I heard a metal cover of "Look What You Made Me Do" once, and it went so hard. She's really got a good voice for punk, too. Saw a video of her doing a vocal growl on that one song— uh, what's it called? "We are Never Getting Back Together" or something like that? Anyway, that sounded really good. But I don't really like her environmental impact. You could ask Rachel about that. I bet she'd have a lot to say.

RACHEL: Taylor— Listen. Don't get me started on Taylor Swift. Her music is mediocre at best, and her carbon footprint? Holy Hades! I saw somewhere that that one study that said 8,000 tonnes was wrong and it's actually more like 1,000 tonnes, but that was taken from half of a year during a global pandemic. She wasn't even touring or anything. The woman's a multimillionaire. With that kind of money, you would think that she'd be more environmentally conscious, but no. Not at all. And I guess it's cool or whatever that she pays her people well, but, like, that's the bare minimum. Taylor Swift. I didn't like her before all that about her environmental impact and stuff came out, and I definitely don't like how she dates racist guys, and I hate the way people worship her and follow her like lemmings, y'know?

HAZEL: Who?

FRANK: Oh, she's good, I suppose. Never got super invested in her or her music or anything. I don't really know anything about her except that people love her, and her singles are fine, I guess. I liked that one song "cardigan."

NICO: Uh, I feel like people shouldn't really ask me about music. My music taste kinda sucks. But sure, Taylor Swift makes some good music. Annabeth played me a few songs once. I really liked "Haunted," I think it's called.

REYNA: I don't follow her life and I haven't listened to any of her albums or anything. I mostly listen to Latin music, to be honest. But she's a woman and she's extremely successful, so I suppose I'm happy for her.

[Coach Hedge immediately starts singing "Shake It Off" when asked and did not provide any further comment.]

OCTAVIAN: I can't believe some people call that trash "music." It's so low-brow and vapid. Only eleven year old girls actually like that kind of thing. Me, I listen to real music— the classics, like Mozart. My favorite song by him is definitely "Canon in D."

[leejihoonownsmyheart]

WOOZI LIKES SEX SONGS??? WAIT WHEN WAS THIS AND HOW DID I MISS IT...and you're right he's so good at writing self confident songs wtf genius god of music woozi

OH... IT'S OKAY!! YOU'RE NOT A FRAUD YOU'RE JUST...AN IMAGINER.... WE DO NOT JUDGE AROUND HERE, ESPECIALLY SINCE YOU'RE AWESOME

omg okay choose the venue brie 🙄🙄🙄

UR RIGHJT 20s SLANG IS SO FUNNY...giggle juice reminds me of that meme that goes 'the bob got me crunk' IDK IF YOU'VE SEEN IT BUT THAT'S GIGGLE JUICE

OH MY GOD I DIDN'T KNOW GALLAGHER GIRLS IS A BOOK WHOOPS...it sounds so interesting tho??? i'm a sucker for spy books tbh...and who's zachary goode??? tell me more!! ALSO TELL ME ABOUT THE OC NICK. WHAT'S HE LIKE

ALSO WHERE CAN I WATCH DOCTOR WHO AND SUPERNATURAL??? IF THEY'RE GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU TO HYPERFIXATE ON THOSE SHOWS, THEN THEY'RE GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME

you like requests that are different?? whoops...sorry i just gave you something really generic...but i will keep that in mind!! i will think about asks that will lead to a relationship because that's actually the best ending hands down

I POSTED MY BEST FRIEND ON MY STORY (a guy) AND HE LEFT ME ON DELIVERED LMAOOOOOO WHY IS HE LIKE THIS?? (i might block him, thank you btw...) (treat you better plays in the background)

why is it fair for your friends to be mad at you??? not to pry but like can't you choose who you want to be friends with ?😭 don't get sick thinking about it wtf you deserve better

NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR GOING OFF ABOUT HTINGS THAT YOU LIKE??? I'LL GLADLY LISTEN <3

-🫨 anon

I keep a watchful eye of his spotify playlist…. Nasty by Arianna grande PLUS HE LIKES BRUNO MARS AND JUSTIN BIEBER and he used to really like fine by me by chris brown (he was jamming to it in a very old video) and while i digress the majority of these are kinda baby sex songs THEY ARE STILL SEX SONGS

AN IMAGINER 🥹

This is kinda lame but i’ve always kinda adored a forest venue kinda like in twilight i guess 😭 Imagine it.. a wedding, in the snow... bridesmaids in like sage and blush colors IT SEEMS MAGICAL

I LOOKED UP THE MEME AND I AM LAUGHING SO HARD THATS THE GIGGLE JUICE!!!!!!!

I DONT THINK ITS A SUPER POPULAR BOOK SERIES MOST PEOPLE I KNOW DON'T KNOW THE SERIES

Zachary Goode is one of the boys that goes to Blackthorne Academy and HE IS LITERALLY SO HOT the first time they meet HE OUT SPIES HER which is CRAZY if you read the first book because she is the best spy at Gallagher academy. i don't remember too much about him but he is a huge flirt and in the second book (when we meet him) he is just so respectful of her and obsessed with her.... He's perfect PERFECT.

YOU CAN WATCH DOCTOR WHO ON I BELIEVE HBO MAX they took it off netflix a few years ago... like what the fuck... AND YOU CAN WATCH SUPERNATURAL ON NETFLIX STILL. I miss that show, they're doing a con right now somewhere in... england I think I saw and I'm so jealous...

ALSO SHUSH. THAT WAS A PERFECT AMAZING IDEA AND YOU HAVE A PERFECT SEXY BRAIN I LOVE IT

HE LEFT YOU ON DELIVERED?! THATS SO ANNOYING you should be able to post your best friend in peace... I am very excited about this update by the way... I would live and die for every tiny detail about your love life so whenever you want to tell someone about it :))) it could be me :))) ^.^

ALRIGHT ILL GIVE YOU THE WHOLE TLDR this started when my friends moved to mornings. The two people I am closest to at work are my friends Sophia and Rachel and they are both directors at my store while I am just a manager. So ALREADY I'm jealous because they get to go to all these director's meetings together, and then they both move to mornings and not only does that suck because they get to see each other all the time and I see them maybe twice a week BUT THEY LEFT ME WITH ALL THE GUY MANAGERS So one of the guy managers I have spoken of before is Ben. And he is the one that I now work with the most. I used to be kinda close with him while he was dating one of the other managers but we kinda waned out of friendship after something happened on one of my leading shifts (it was not deep.)

We will remember Ben as the Capricorn I work with who broke up with his girlfriend because of a conversation he had with our boss about how she is not the kind of girl he wants to spend the rest of his life with (as she had been going to parties a lot???) and then he broke up with her at work right after her shift and as he started his and then he had sexual relations with a FRESHLY 18-year-old girl that he had been doing one-on-ones with for work while he was still sleeping with his now ex-girlfriend and she found out because she went through his watch text messages at work

DRAMA RIGHT AND I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING, brie he is a terrible person

mhm. So. he is a pretty good friend to have. He is very funny, and is easy to make fun of and he's actually pretty supportive. Working with him all of the time I have gotten closer to him. I used to go to the gym with him and my other coworker Blake but when all the aforementioned stuff happened I stopped. Anyways we all started seeing each other at the gym again and THEN my coworkers Nam and Blake moved to the same apartment 'neighborhood' as me. I joked with them that I would be at their apartment all the time cause we live so close

I've always been kinda friends with Nam since we both like anime and we're the same age, but we aren't actually that close. Anyways Blake was having his birthday party at Nam's apartment and I got myself invited because I am annoying :) And the people there are Daniel, Blake, Nam, and Ben. Somehow, that turned into this group of people hanging out EVERY tuesday. I left my sweatshirt and Nam's apartment on Blake's birthday and so everytime Nam saw me he would loudly be like WHEN ARE YOU COMING BACK TO GET YOUR SWEATSHIRT (as if we had fucked and I like it there... humiliating) so I start getting invited to hang out with the group which has extended to adding Minnie, Cassidy, my friend Justin, my coworker Aaron and his friend Kellen.

This is a WEIRD group of people and my friend Rachel does get jealous pretty easily. They both HEAVILY judge me for my friendship with Ben (fair) and they really judged me when I told them about the hangout so I didn't show up like two weeks in a row but for some reason they always text me and call me if I don't show up so I've started going anyways

Rachel doesn't react to my bereals if Ben is in them

So Rachel had taken over the schedule and on the very few times that I got to see her I would joke that she purposely moved herself to mornings cause she doesn't want to work with me. Anyways I am mean when I joke. I know this. I tell people this because I'm really insecure about it because I'm so "nice" all the time no one believes me and then I hurt someone's feelings and I want to cry. So anyways she started crying because of these jokes and she said she felt like I was mad at her.

I wasn't but I also was a little because also we were supposed to hang out with some other friends Emilee, and Chelsea and my friend Dawn and Emilee said she couldn't hangout that day and they planned to hang out then anyways without even trying to find a different day that would work. That's shitty. And then she said that she just really wanted to hammer down a day because she had been trying to plan this since august but like that was just bullshit it was the ONE day Emilee couldn't hang out she just didn't try hard enough and didn't even care that she was leaving Emilee out of it.

SO I was really stressed cause I didn't know how to tell them I thought that was really shitty. And also during ALL of this I am really really depressed. I don't want to talk to anyone, every single shift I worked I would cry because it was so hard and then I ran out of my anxiety meds so I was having panic attacks every single shift.

Anyways Rachel tells me I'm mean, she cries, I cry and then try to ice them out because I don't want to cry and make it all about myself. I have a cute breakdown.

It's really confusing to have this weird group of friends who really want to hang out with me and then Rachel and Sophia who want to hang out with me but also know that Rachel is mad at me. And it's really stressful to remember that if I talk about the people I am hanging out with the most and who seem to want to talk to me the most then my other friends will be mad at me. But if I don't hang out with that weird group of friends I will be so lonely because the only other person that I want to talk to all the time is busy and I am definitely smothering them cause I'm so fucking annoying

So, also I have no one to talk to about work. Rachel and Sophia don't work with the people I work with. I complain about everything if I can and also when I complain about things that Ben do they immediately get him in trouble for it by dragging our store operator into things when they aren't that serious and I am already dogging on him for it so now it's like if I complain about ben it gets back to him and one of these days he is going to be mad at me for it

I always say I can't complain about things because there are always consequences so I stopped complaining about things at work and Rachel and Sophia get mad at me for not talking about work things because we basically don't talk like at all.

However case and point, I told them ages ago that I wanted to learn interviews and they pretended to be excited about it and I mentioned it to them more than once and then a month later they are training James. Not me. So I ask Rachel oh is James learning interviews as if I didn't want to immediately start sobbing upon seeing it. And she immediately said some shit about brittni (our bosses wife) wanting to make sure I wasn't too stressed with school. I ASKED TO LEARN INTERVIEWS. WHY WOULD I ASK IF I WOULD BE TOO STRESSED ABOUT IT BECAUSE OF SCHOOL.

so I complain about it in passing to Blake and my boss over hears that I am upset about something but I don't tell him because I am being a baby right. Well my boss follows up with blake and blake tells him the truth and then my boss thinks that I am upset at him over it. Which I'm not. my boss didn't know I wanted to do interviews. So after our cute little "you should have asked me" chat I cried and then because of that I think rachel got in trouble because I immediately got scheduled to learn interviews.

I DONT WANT TO DO IT NOW. I complained and now everyone things I'm a fucking cry baby. which I am.

and i just. am so greatful for the friends I have but I'm miserable everyday and people are mad at me cause I don't talk about my feelings anymore and I don't even know what they think I just can;t do anything without upsetting anyone.

I don't know. I just really need a therapist but no one will get back to me so I'm just stuck with a dumb psychiatrist who things higher doses of sedative medicine will cure my anxiety and thus minimalize my depression. Whatever. I just hate being a cry baby and being so mad at myself for being a cry baby and then having people tell me how nice and great I am, like I'm not you know what i mean? AND YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN narcissist. Oh boohoo a bunch of people want your attention and want to hang out with you that's so hard. And then on top of that I have to reject a 32-year-old anime coworker who hasn't even asked me out yet.

AND THAT IS WHY IT IS FAIR THEY ARE MAD AT ME and why I should choose not to be friends with my weird group of friends and why I am stressed about it every day sigh

ALSO PRY AWAY again I am such a baby narcissist I love talking about myself sigh

[genericpuff]

I must’ve dropped LO before any announcement about this show happened (or if I was still around I was too busy scrolling past it to see the comments). I think I may have dropped it maybe before the trial? So hearing some of this stuff that happened in the comic is just wild. Like the Bees panel is making me think Rachel saw the “welcome to Applebee’s, would you like Apples or Bees?” “Bees?” “HE HAS ORDERED THE BEES! RELEASE THE BEES!” joke and thought it would be a hilarious thing to draw given Persephone’s blank stare as she just…released the bees.

Also, Zelda’s getting a movie??

Ah so the show was initially announced back in Season 1 if you can believe that, in 2019. But I suppose that goes to show how under-announced it was LOL (literally out of the handful of articles about it they're all just like "JHC bought the production rights, it'll happen maybe hopefully soon" and now it's like... 5 years later with no new information, fucking oof)

and yeah I need to make it clear that that bees scene was so divisive it resulted in the creation of a whole new critical community, it's literally how we got /r/UnpopularLoreOlympus over on reddit. The opinions over it clashed so hard that all the critics went "that's it, we're making our OWN space" and the fans went "k byeee!" and now ironically the space ULO made is now way more active and populated than the main space they broke off from 💀

And yes, Zelda's getting a movie:

And I'm gonna be real with you, my expectations are basically on the floor. Maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised like we were with the Mario movie, but the names attached to it aren't exactly inspiring a lot of hope LOL So I'm sure y'all will be hearing me talk about that at length once it actually releases god knows when. TBH I think they would have been much better off making an original show or something, the reality is that the lore and storytelling style of Zelda needs a lot more room for development than a single movie can really accomplish, but again, maybe they'll surprise me and it'll be good. It's just unfortunately being made in the decade of the 2020's when good and promising movies seem to be harder to come by.

[spaceorphan18]

Glee Musical Retrospective: Lean On Me (Ballad)

Sung by: Artie Abrams and Mercedes Jones feat. New Directions Original Artist(s): Bill Withers

You know how the song Ironic doesn't actually contain any irony? Or how the episode Mash Up didn't have any actual Mash Ups in it? Well - I suppose now's a good time to explain that the episode Ballad doesn't actually contain any ballads.

Ballad definition: a poem or song narrating a story in short stanzas. Traditional ballads are typically of unknown authorship, having been passed on orally from one generation to the next as part of the folk culture.

Though, you can also claim it's a slow, often romantic pop song. Which... I'd argue a majority of the songs in this episode aren't that, either. But I digress... I really just didn't have a better way to open this one up.

Story Analysis

I'm going to start by throwing out there that this was Mercedes' idea. She finds out that Puck is the father, but does she gossip that around? She does not. Instead - she probably hears that Quinn (who up to this point has been a terrible person to her) has been thrown out. And what does Mercedes to? She gets everyone together to sing a song of friendship and encouragement. I just don't think Mercedes gets enough credit sometimes - and it's a nice gesture from her to support people whom she may not even consider friends in their time of need.

The whole sentiment of the song is about friendship and about being there when someone else in need. The lyrics are pretty straightforward (Glee a lot of the times pushes in hard when it wants to make a point) but the thing I like the most about it is the fact that there isn't a romantic element to the song. It's truly about being there for someone in their time of need.

And I feel like this is another one of those songs that hits at the heart of what the show was trying to go for. Yes - this song is meant for Finn and Quinn -- a way for the Glee club to say they're there for their friends. But it's also the show saying that a club like this is a way to have a social group that you can depend on, even if you feel like an outsider in life.

Finn and Quinn seem to appreciate the gesture, too. And it's nice to see Quinn have a moment of acceptance of these people whom she's spent so long hating against.

There really isn't a whole lot else going on, but I have a few smaller things to mention.

Of course there's the smaller, and uncomfortable, moment between Kurt and Finn during the 'call me' stuff. It's supposed to be a little comedic beat, but ooff, no. Kurt's kind of caught up in a fantasy that he and Finn bonded over this.

There's the shared look between Puck and Quinn - and the subtle acknowledgement that Quinn has feelings for him.

Rachel is oddly chill about all the Finn and Quinn love. Honestly, everyone seems rather happy to be there - and I have to wonder if there is some slight actor bleed going on - as everyone seems a little too happy to be hanging around on each other.

Towards the end, a bunch of the cast literally start leaning on each other. Nice touch, lol.

Technical Thoughts

It's the second episode in a row where Mercedes and Artie, both of whom really didn't have a story line, get a duet together. For story reasons - it can't go to most of the other people in the episode. But, I want to also argue that Amber and Kevin have remarkably strong voices together. It's a combination we're going to see a lot of because of it.

This is one of the first times I can really hear the actors' voices on the recorded background (Naya's voice can really be heard.) But, as usual, the show has, like, tripled the tracks making it seem like there are a lot more than eight other people singing backup.

I feel like we should have a counter as to how many times Mercedes hits that high note at the end. I'm sure she's already done it...

Fun Fact: Jenna Ushkowitz and Kevin McHale explained that Tina's adlibs were placed in the song because Kevin had trouble performing them the way the music producers wanted. (as per their podcast Showmance. I'm hoping their new podcast will allow me to sprinkle in more facts like this.)

Glee Live

Since I didn't have a whole lot to say about this one, I'm throwing in a few extra things. First of all -- I need to clear up a myth. This is NOT Darren's audition for Glee. During the first season, I believe Glee did a thing where they wanted people to send in tapes (or something - it's all fuzzy now), which is what inspired this video. But it's not what led to Darren getting Blaine.

So - this is a fresh faced (shaggy haired) young Darren. And I'm so fascinated by this. First of all - the recording is terrible. Was he using his phone?? Anyway, the thing about Darren is that he is a gifted performer, but maybe not flawless with his vocal technique. You notice how he's doing a lot of trills on his notes? That's not just a stylistic choice. It's because he's having a hard time staying on the pitch - so if he moves it around a bunch, he can hide some of his weakness. It's clever. And Darren's charming enough in his physical performance to distract you from vocal imperfections.

Also - two key changes Darren? Lol...

(You guys know I love Darren, right? Okay just making sure...)

So - we were somewhat robbed from Blaine and Mercedes's duets during the show's run, so here's Amber and Darren singing the same song years and years later. And omg, this is just gorgeous. Both of their voices have matured and grown. The harmonies on this are beautiful. Everything about this is beautiful.

vs. The Studio Version: The studio version has a longer introduction and the inclusion of the second verse. And as usual - it's a cleaner track. That's about it. It's a great song, but not a whole lot to say about it.

vs. The Original Version: Wow - the original version is way slower. And is much more relaxed in nature. Glee did have a tendency to speed up its versions of songs -- which I gathered was often due to the time constraints of television. But it makes me wonder - was Glee's frantic pace due the necessity of fitting a lot of things into one place? Or was just that the nature of the song?

Also - we finally get a departure from the original arrangement. The backup vocals in Glee are used in place of the piano.

[teruel-a-witch]

The thing is, in Italy they're doing a H50 rerun (even if they lost one episode along the road but hey, poor buddy must've been confused after the due sospension to broadcast the swimming European competition or wtf it was), so I'm taking advantage of this to have my nightly mcdanno boost.

All night (hello insomnia my old friend) I couldn't stop thinking how Steve, after witnessing Danny's desperate message in Rachel's voicemail in 2x15, stating that he still loves her (....poor Gabby, is she aware Danny could never love her the way he still loves R. or fall for her the way he fell for Steve?), suddenly in 2x16 feels the need to bring Cath as his pkus one at the auction. Catherine. Even if Kono and Lori were there alone. While Chin definitely didn't bring Malia, nor Danny Gabby (lol I laughed so hard when he remembered about St. Valentine's only after the others pointed it out, and panicked about the present! Talk about performance and facade). But he needed Cath exactly there. As a buffer. As a True, No-Homo, I'm-Definitely-Not-Pining-Over-My-Partner shield.

Poor Steve enters in Panick Mode™ every single time he fears he's lost Danny, either physically or emotionally (see the reckless invasion of the Governor's house in 1x24 after knowing Danny is crawling back to Rachel).

Sorry for the hundreds brackets, my brain is wacked.

I've only seen 2x15 once so forgive me if I'm getting it wrong, but I'm fairly sure the message was from months ago, at least that's how I understood it, it's just that it revealed that Danny didn't care if the baby was his and would have gotten back together with Rachel back in the beginning of S2 anyway.

I don't even think it's as simple as Danny having some ~undying love~ for Rachel, but simply clinging to the past, to this ideal of a nuclear family, because he has always felt like the failed marriage makes him a failure and like he failed Grace specifically because the divorce made her 'a child of a broken home' and the chance to repair it was too tempting to let go.

(Not to mention being back together with Rachel would have meant being a full time father to his precious babygirl instead of shared custody which has probably always been the main draw for him, he hates missing out on a single moment of Grace's life more than anything)

The thing about fantasies is they are hard to let go of even after you have changed and it's not something you want anymore, Danny wasn't the same man that came to Hawai'i 2 years ago and wished he didn't have to, he has changed and grown on a fundamental level and meeting Steve and building the ohana was a major part of that, whether he knew it or not he chose Steve over Rachel at the end of s1, it just took his mind a while to catch up.

His first priority has always been Grace so he had to try, whether that involved raising another man's baby or not. What he didn't know is that it wouldn't have mattered because Rachel took the decision from him. I think she knew he would always put Grace first but that he would never again put Rachel first and she couldn't take it.

Now, of course, Steve being new to the complexities of human relationships, didn't understand all of that, so he absolutely was devastated by the discovery. To him it must have looked like Danny loved Rachel so much he was ready to raise another man's baby as a part of the package. It must have been like being thrust back in time to that hospital room where all his hopes were dashed.

Now the timing of him leaving for weeks of maneuvers/training seems a little too appropriate. Putting a literal distance between them. I never actually thought about the timely coincidence of him bringing Cath to that black tie event, I just thought they were using her for intelligence, but now you made me think it may have served two purposes. Having her as a buffer/feelings dampener helps. Not to mention the return to the familiar/safe/easy, no chance to get his heart broken again because there's no real love there.

And yes I've written before about how having his hopes dashed may have contributed Steve to accelerate his timetable on the whole revenge thing, because he felt like he had nothing to lose, and it's also potentially why he felt like he could just up and leave Danny with nothing but a letter because he simply didn't think Danny would care that much.

(He was wrong, of course, but the entire situation is a big clusterfuck that's definitely hard to untangle. And lol I forgot about the Valentine's day thing, Danny is so used to spending Valentine's day with Steve he forgets about his actual gfs *GG*)

[farklelucas]

i'm glad you were happy with the ask! i think akashi is very interesting and he surely has a lot of trauma, and that could be why i never shipped him with anyone. and really couldn't see him with furihata (but i do want to know more about why some like them together so much). i think the closest i had was midorima and that's because akashi actually seemed to respect him. i don't actually ship too many characters because their friendships are so interesting, especially the gom, but you're definitely right about kise and kasamatsu. though aomine and kise were kinda my favourite. funnily enough i really disliked aomine when i first watched the series, but now i literally lose my mind when i see him

yes absolutely!! the circle of people i talk about knb with is exactly three so you've now made it four SKNDKNKNDL it's very exciting for me genuinely

my best friend is an akashi Stan, so i've done a lot of character examination for him (he's like one of her fave characters of all time from Anything so we talk ab him a lot) and i totally agree with you!! i think he's really rooted in his arc, which is really intense and interesting (i don't think i've ever seen a sports anime do anything with mental illness like they did with akashi besides maybe like. free.), and it's almost a disservice to make that arc about anything else. i also don't think there's anyone who specifically complements him in a way that would like actually logically work romantically. for ME though like obviously anyone else can do what they want but idk i never... read him that way bc i was so busy reading into his character development on its own. so i never really naturally gravitated towards a ship for him. (but like i said i only have like. five ships total. four really if we come down to it.) i totally agree in that midorima seems like a logical jump in that they are the closest, but even then i don't see anything in that for midorima (i could do a whole essay on midorima but anyway) so idk not for me per say but yes i totally get where you're coming from!!

(i think rachel will heed the call and hopefully info dump in the replies of one of these asks about akafuri so keep coming back to see the takes of a TRUE akafuri stan)

i agree! a lot of the dynamics on the show hold up best as friendships imho, and while you're certainly able to read into them as romantic if you want to, it's just as easy (and perhaps better) to make it a story about friendship and i think that - especially for people like me, as someone single whose friends are really important to her - is a great story to tell too. the gom is the perfect example - they're friends from the start in a way, but the friendship changes and grows with them as the series goes on. they're not the same people in the beginning and their friendship, while just as strong if not stronger, isn't the same either and it's such a cool story to see told. so yes you get me exactly!!

oh don't get me started on kikasa i will literally never stop <3<3<3<3 i love them more than words can say those are my guys. i will spare you from the ramble but yes they def crack my top four. aomine and kise i was pretty anti on until i started my recent rewatch and like. still not for me but i def get it and respect it. i had no idea where it was coming from and now im like oh shit yeah i see it for sure.

i had a very similar experience with aomine and i think it's kind of hard not to bc i know my friends who watched the show did as well LKNDKNFKLNF like he showed up and i was like "this guy's all bark and no fuckin bite stan kuroko this guy sucks" and then over time we learned his backstory and eventually i was in love with that bitch. i am still in love with that bitch. he rearranged my brain cells. is he dumb? yeah. is he a bitch? yeah. is he my dumb bitch? yeah.

anyway sorry for this long as hell answer but! you've awakened the brain worms sorry to say <3

[goodgrammaritan]

Gratitude Journal

The store has all the Christmas stuff out, including Christmas dog toys.

They're all so cute! Snake in a sweater cracks me up. I don't want them for my dogs because they'd just destroy them in 30 seconds, but as I pointed out to my husband, the toys have hanger loops, so I could totally put them on our Christmas tree. So I got the skunk and the penguin, and my employee discount made them very affordable.

Also, I am still recovering from a pulled ab from over 2 weeks ago, and it's tough. I don't know if you know this, but you use your abs and core for literally every movement, so it's hard to rest the affected muscle. I keep thinking I'm better, then I'll move in a weird way or lift something slightly too heavy, and I'll hurt again.

Last night it got aggravated during a normal activity, and I got very sad and disappointed because it seems like it'll never get better, but then this morning my husband sent me a kind, thoughtful, encouraging text, saying he was sorry last night ended on a downer, but not to give up hope. I'm just so grateful to have this man in my corner. He knows me and gets me.

Also, we finished Reboot, which is a fun show, and along with everything else good about it, it's good to see Rachel Bloom on TV again.

11/4/22

[cinnamon-notes]

[cinnamon's diary, may 8th — part 1]: be more involved with life and less attached to it

[A LOT happened today, so I'm making separate posts for every highlight. This is the Rachel part]

I met my bestie's friend. She's been abroad, alone, having adventures out in the wild, ever since she was 18. She's back for a few days before moving to yet another country for yet another job. She's a few years older than me but she's exactly who I've always craved to be. However, meeting her today made me think a lot about myself. And it made me realize many things about me.

Her dream is to save enough money to afford a van, and travel the world on it. This has been my dream, too, for as long as I can remember. She's wild, she's free, she's confident, she's naturally a leader, she's bubbly and sparkly, she's naturally independent, she's constantly moving, she doesn't like settling down, she cannot stay still, she's the least dependable and the least gullible person I've ever met, she's funny, she's handy and she's physical, she's so low-maintenance, she's extremely good at handling herself, she's extremely smart. This has been who I've always dreamed to become for as long as I can remember.

Also, she's exceedingly beautiful. Her hair is curly and blonde. Her eyes are a constantly sparkling shade of green. Her eyeballs are almost out of their orbits, which I find extremely poetic and characteristic, because it represents her personality very well, almost as if her own eyes can't afford wasting time and are always hunting the next thing to see, admire, explore, know, welcome in. She's got freckles all over her face — as if her skin is a map of the world, and freckles pin where she's been.

We all met for ice cream. As soon as I saw her, I stretched my hand out to her, but she pulled me in for a hug, instead. And we kinda kissed by mistake. I mean- I'd never seen the woman in my life. She'd literally hug whomever. She's sunshine. Anyway, we kinda had a common problem with ice cream because we kinda can't eat without making a mess oops :) and we laughed about it and she kept looking at me but I swear to god it was PAINFULLY HARD to compete with her stare, I kept avoiding her eyes.

And she kept being her free, wild, easy, serene self — sitting in weird ways, staring at me; leading the crowds as we walked down the streets. Which made my heart beat way too fast. I've always had a soft spot for independence. Independence and desire for freedom are such a turn-on for me. And it gets challenging. Because I always end up growing attached to people who don't believe in attachment in the first place, since they are naturally free, and belong nowhere and everywhere at the same time. They just can't wrap their heads around the concept of attachment. And maybe that's what I loved about her— the fact that she has, is, something I've spent my whole life craving. Free. Unattached. Rootless.

And I've noticed this pattern about the crushes I've had in the last couple years— they always seem to have something I've always wanted, they always seem to be someone I've always craved a piece of.

And I like that, actually. Because I'm definitely not ready for a relationship right now, so I like that my crushes don't even last, and they vanish once I realize why I liked them in the first place. And I also like it because it allows me to understand myself better. I've been learning soooooo many things about myself just by having crushes that I never confessed because they'd soon pass.

And what did I get from today's meeting? That I'm growing to be independent, undependable, free, wild, self-reliant, free, a leader. But I'm also not willing to be that wild. I'm a hopeless romantic, after all. I love attachment. I live on feelings. I need my platonic relationships. I can't not care. I can't be that wild and free. It's against myself, it's not who I am. It's not who I'm supposed to be. And I liked meeting my bestie's friend and getting to learn all these things about me.

No, I don't wanna stay in the same place forever. But I also don't wanna temporarily live in an apartment I don't care about. I don't wanna have the same job, but I also don't want to not appreciate how my coworker looks up at me and nod at me when we're about to have a coffee break. I don't wanna live in this monastery forever, and I won't, but I also don't wanna forget how M smiled at me when I first met her and how she easily let me borrow some of her oil since I'd forgotten mine who-knows-whose-place-I'd-been-crashing-at.

Let's just say I do wanna grow more involved with life, but I also do wanna stay attached to it. And it would've probably taken me way longer to realize that, had I not met my bestie's friend today. And I would've probably seen years of self loathing because I couldn't understand what was wrong with me and why I am such a paradoxical creature.

I'm probably going to write this post in my physical journal once I find it. Because it was such an awakening!

[funnypansexualanimorph]

Here's my fic's intro. Some insight into my own after-series story to gauge interest. My name is Marco. I could tell you my last name at this point, but why stop tradition? I didn't think there would be another story to tell, if I'm honest. But here we are, another saga from the Animorphs. Surprise!

The Yeerks are defeated, the last remaining ships scattered about are being hunted down as we speak. You'd think we could relax, right? Right? Nah, that'd be too easy.

So I guess… I should explain a few things. The Andalites upgraded the morphing time limit. Or perhaps the Ellimist did… either way, we were given the gift of it.

Tobias, you remember bird-boy right? Well he spends most of his time in his human morph. I mean, I don't exactly blame the guy, considering dating in the bird world is pretty dangerous. Plus, gag me with a spoon, he's dating Rachel.

Rachel is still her Xena: Warrior Princess self, not taking shit from anyone. She's a model now… big surprise right? Jake and Cassie spend a lot of time together. they're pretty on and off again. I know they will eventually end up together permanently but they've got some shit to work out first.

Jake's too stuck in his own head, and Cassie tends a lot of animals now. Jake's the ambassador for Earth, the Andalites call him the 'Human Prince." so he can't exactly put anything behind him… and i know he's having a hard time. Cassie works with some the Chee. they're very good at veterinary duties and all of them enjoy it. She usually lets them deal with the canines when she can. She's busy, but always has time for the old team.

As for Ax, being an Andalite Prince has it's ups and downs. His people are particularly pissed that he refuses to leave Earth. well. he's sorta got a reason. At least I hope my idea for the reason is correct.

And what about me? well. I live in the woods with Ax and Tobias now. In Ax's Scoop, actually. I could probably quote to you verbatim every single episode of The Young And The Restless with how often Ax watches the re-runs. It's peaceful for the most part, and enjoyable. Ax has been in human morph a lot, so I'm teaching him how to blend in as a human. He's learning pretty damn fast.

You can imagine how hard it is to pretend to be normal after what we went through. It was literal hell. More hell than hell itself. So naturally we're all a bit fucked up now. just trying to thrive and avoid the press and finally deal with all the trauma we endured. In a way, I think that we wanted something new to happen.

Anyway… I've rambled on for long enough. Step into my lair, said the dreth to the chorkant. See you on the other side…