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#i know that the actual tails are a lot smaller
sluttyhenley · 18 hours
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a discussion on size and perspective of military aircraft
(for no particular reason)
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This is a picture of a B-17 (without wings, tail and landing gear because the Smithsonian are monsters) next to an F/A-18 Super Hornet (a single person fighter jet). Now the B-17 isn’t sitting as high as she would be due to aforementioned lack of landing gear but you can see the similarity in girth of the fuselage between the two aircraft. But where the crew sits in the belly of the Fort, the pilot of the F/A-18 is sitting above engine (source: I’ve seen these gutted). The Super Hornet is smaller than the Tomcat (below) but she’s still big
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Why are the wings coming out, Mav?
(that’s part of the Fort’s wing sitting by the nose of the Tomcat)
Anyway there’s not a lot of space in the belly of that Fort. And the space that is there is specifically because there’s just not a whole lot of anything in the interior.
Now compare that to the B-29
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I was close enough to the same height above this as the Tomcat for it to make a negligible difference in perspective. She’s a beast.
(P-51 cameo across the walkway from her port wing for comparison)
A side by side of her cockpit and the Fort’s nose:
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If the lighting were different you could actually see the pilots seats in the picture on the left. Compare that to where the cockpit looks out over the nose on the Fort.
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And this btw is what Bucky was standing on when he goaded Curt to punch him (should’ve been fired again fr for that behavior)
and shoutout to @redbelles (who knows way more about any of these platforms -and aviation in general- than i do) and @ladywaffles (who let us both go off about all of this and more)
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turtleblogatlast · 5 months
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One of the biggest things that makes me see Leo as trans is absolutely the size of his carapace in comparison to his brothers’.
And I’m not talking about height! I’m specifically looking at his shell here, because when you compare him to the others, particularly Donnie who is nearly the same height as Leo, it’s very clear that Leo’s carapace is much longer in proportion to the rest of his body.
Like - standing side by side, even though Donnie is shorter his carapace ends noticeably higher up than Leo’s does. And I like this not only because it really helps push the idea that Leo could very likely be trans (or intersex!), but it’s also just a fun design difference between them.
(It also lends way to future scenarios of Donnie eventually getting taller than Leo, but sitting down still has Leo being the taller one haha.)
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#trans leonardo#rottmnt headcanons#rise leo#trans leo#it’s like 4 am and I’m having trans leo feelings again sorry guys#totally get if other people disagree with me on this! but it’s always gonna be my no.1 headcanon fr#his complexion the vibrancy of his colors staying even in adulthood his general demeanor and this? this hc is LOCKED in my brain#plus the times Leo’s depicted in pink white and blue throughout the series like I KNOW it wasn’t on purpose but damn if it doesn’t help#(his nails are also the exact same as his toe nails/claws but I don’t super count this one tbh)#(even though it is TECHNICALLY another point in favor of trans leo)#(mainly because all the boys’ nails are very much more humanoid than turtle)#(just like how their tails aren’t really a factor either since we see them only in their baby forms and never again)#I really like the idea that he was a female red eared slider pre mutation#and Lou Jitsu’s dna paved how his humanoid features came out (aka a more masculine build and voice)#but his turtle features are all very much more in like with a female res#love the thought of rise bros meeting og comic turtle boys and Leo being like wait you guys are res too?? but…you’re not colorful……#one headcanon I have is that - you know the cute chirping and stuff we have the boys do?#I like to think that Leo’s chirping actually sounds more feminine to himself and his bros (so he tends to not do it)#idk I love thinking about this hc a lot and there’s no time like four am to talk about it huh?#future scenario has future Donnie going up to future Leo all smug like ah Nardo how’s the weather down there#and Leo’s all like good *sits down* why don’t you join me :)#Donnie: …*sits and stretches his neck out to be taller still*#Leo calls him a cheater but Donnie calls it ‘making use of his species’s advantages’#but yeah basically for many turtles the case is - bigger carapace? female. smaller carapace? male.#so it’s very interesting to take that knowledge and apply it here#did you know one of the turtles that this rule of thumb DOESNT apply to is alligator snapping turtles? male ones are the bigger ones there!#by a big difference too so Raph’s size makes a LOT of sense
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hellenhighwater · 7 months
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Mildly weird question for story research purposes: when your cats ride on your shoulder, what does it feel like for you?
Context: My main character has a cat who likes to ride around on her shoulder, and since it's a thing that happens frequently, I'm trying to make sure I write about it well. And, unfortunately, I do not have a cat to even attempt to test it with, so I'm going to the one person I KNOW has experience with this situation.
Specific things that would be helpful to know:
Do you have to be careful not to upset their balance, or can you more or less walk normally once they're up there?
How are they keeping themselves up there? Are there claws involved? Or just good balance?
Where's most of their weight? I looked back at some pictures/vids, and it looks like they typically ride with their front paws on the shoulder and their back paws somewhere a bit below and beside your neck, but I could be wrong.
How long can they stay on your shoulder before one of you has to take a break? Is the weight of the cat tiring, or is it pretty easy to deal with?
Anything else I should be aware of regarding shoulder cats?
Thank you SO MUCH for your help!
Oh, I can definitely answer that! One: It's waaay easier to shoulder a small cat than a big one.
For the most part, they kind of drape themselves over the shoulder; this is specifically what I've trained them to do. Cats will also "shoulder" by draping across both shoulders/back of neck, but this forces your head forward to allow room for them, and it's not comfy. Hence the trained posture. (Malice, in the early days:)
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I taught Mal to jump up when I bent forward for her, and circle to face front while I stood up. She can actually do that pretty quickly. Their weight is pretty evenly distributed across the top of the shoulder and down on the pectoral, not really on the back at all. Mal sometimes hooks her back claws into my shirt near the shoulderblade, which is more about balance than weight support. Nim, who was significantly smaller, actually kept her back feet tucked up so that her feet were on the top of my shoulder. This is a significantly more ready posture than Mal's--she would have to readjust for a better foothold to jump down; Nim could leap directly off at a moment's notice. Overall, Nim had far superior shouldering skills to Mal. Malice rides like the meatball she is; I'm hoping she'll learn with age. Here's some pictures of Nim:
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To give them a stable position, I do keep my back straight and shoulders back; if I have to pick something up, I will crouch down instead of bending over. If I have to bend forwards, I will put my palm up flat so that they can stand with their front paws on it and keep their body on my shoulder. Generally, I can move, walk, and even work normally. I've cooked, painted, done chores, even run. Both hands are free to use, though generally you can't lift the arm the cat is on above a T position. They don't need to use their claws for balance unless I am doing something really active. I do shoulder almost exclusively on my left shoulder, so that my dominant hand is more free.
The weight is not significant--Nim was only about 8 lbs, Mal is about 11, and because there's no grip to maintain them and they're naturally situated on the shoulder, it's easy to carry them for a long time. I used to walk miles with Nim on my shoulder. It's actually more the heat--cats run hot, and it's a lot of fur on your neck and shoulder if it's warm out. Great in the winter, though!
Notable things you might not realize--their head is in front of yours, so you can still see ear positions, what they're looking at, etc. Nim's night vision/hearing/sense of smell was better than mine, so I could tell if we were sneaking on wildlife based on her reactions and responses to things. You can also feel them tense or adjust posture before they jump or try to get down, and you can feel their tail moving. You can also feel if they're growling or purring, even if you can't hear it. If you're used to paying attention to those cues, you'll notice them while just carrying the cat normally too--Nobody could sneak up behind me if I was carrying Nim facing over my shoulder to the back.
They can jump from shoulder height but it's a hard landing. Usually if I want them down, I just kneel with a knee up, or lift a leg flat while standing so they can jump to the top of my leg and then to the ground.
If I was in a fictional setting and traveling with them long term, I would be investing in a really weird piece of leather armor, that goes to the edge of the neck/crest of shoulder, and down past the bottom of the shoulderblade, with little easy-to-grip leather loops or chainmail on the back of the shoulder.
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Hot take
Night furies are actually perfectly evolved for hunting and killing other dragons and the only reason they aren't a dragon-hunting species like the death song or deathgrippers are is because DreamWorks couldn't have their adorable main character dragon be a "cannibal"
(below I'm gonna try to summarize what we've figured out in a convo with friends on discord)
(also tw animal death via predator)
First of all yes I'm aware that pretty much every decision made about their design was with consideration of the effect it would make on human audiences but hear me out
Night furies are most iconically known as dive-bombers. They are built for speed, high maneuverability, night-time camouflage and for striking targets from above. If we remove human settlements out of the equation (which would not have existed long enough to actually influence night fury evolution, come on), what does that leave us with?
They aren't built for catching fish for sure, they aren't very hydrodynamic and their head is round, wide, and their teeth are dull. Honestly, the monstrous nightmare is much better suited for catching fish, with its long neck, almost pelican-like jaw and rhamphorhynchus teeth
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Compare to
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Yeah the jaws look kinda like a porpoise of some sort but for that the whole body would have to be a lot more aquatic imo. The light fury looks a lot closer to an aquatic diver, it has a sleeker body, rounded fins instead of spikes, and a long neck.
I don't really see them hunting land animals either, they just don't look like they're adapted for that minus the resemblance with large felines and even then, they're too large to effectively hunt in forests.
The one thing I can kinda imagine them hunting is large mainland megafauna, but we're working with a setting that takes place pretty much exclusively on islands. And overall, dragons are the only abundant species there with the exception of fish and human-bred sheep and chickens.
In general, night furies have duller teeth, smaller claws and are smaller than most dragons. Disregarding the movies making Toothless weirdly OP, a night fury would be disadvantaged against most dragons in a 1v1 fight and besides, it has four huge weak spots that would highly discourage it from a direct physical fight - the primary and secondary tail fins. One unlucky rip in the membrane and the night fury is fucked.
The night fury however noticeably resembles falcons, given their dive-bombing ability and high maneuverability.
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Falcons too have smaller beaks and weaker claws compared to most birds of prey, and for that they compensate by simply picking up speed, balling up their talons and Punching. Really. Hard.
And they use that ability to kill other birds, even much larger ones, by knocking them right from the sky.
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Here, the night fury's plasma blast works the same way as a falcon's punch. Dragons are fire-resistant, so what the plasma blast does is really just a densely packed bolt of energy that has the effect of either stunning or outright killing prey by damaging its spine. And what the plasma bolt doesn't do, rapid contact with the ground would finish. And if even that doesn't do it, the night fury's wide jaws and dull teeth are just fine for simply clamping around the unlucky dragon's neck and strangling it, like a lion or a pitbull.
The night-time camouflage allows the night fury to soar for extended periods of time perfectly unnoticed in the night sky, and by the time it strikes, the dragon wouldn't even know what's coming.
Unless
Say the hunting night fury is aware of other dragons sleeping under the trees, as most dragons probably would at night (village raids aside, most dragons seem to be diurnal), so how does the night fury get them in position where it can use its signature attack? Well, there's That Iconic Screech Of Death. Since in the movies it tends to appear not just during dive-bombings but also when charging up a blast, I imagine it's something the night fury is able to control to some degree. So by simply fake-diving in close proximity to sleeping dragons, it can effectively terrify them into leaving their hideout and fly out into the open where it can easily take them out.
I dunno, the possibility of night furies as predators to other dragons just makes so much sense to me, I really don't know what other reasons there would be for them to evolve these particular adaptations.
And one more little headcanon to add to this whole rant - since night furies are significantly smaller and less equipped for dragon vs dragon fights and are primarily speed-based predators, I imagine there is this very likely scenario:
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There is one dragon who resembles a hyena, a lil bit
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Ok, rant over
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colourstreakgryffin · 7 months
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Hello!! ^^ Hope you don't mind me asking, could you write some headcannons for a bunny-like fem (or gn) reader?? Like alastor is a deer or somethin, and his s/o is like that but a bunny?
They have bunny ears, a tail, and have traits of them? Thank you if you consider my request, and have a nice day!!
Hehe! Two preys together now and yes, dearest. Alastor is a deer! A deer and his little bunny! I can just see Al teasing her/them about their bunny looks! Let’s try it out!
Alastor- Rabbitfoot
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Alastor is amused to see another prey sinner, but you’re even smaller and more helpless than what animal he has traits of. You’re a little bunny, a precious fluffy bunny with drooped down long bunny ears and fluffy cotton tail
Yes, Alastor does play with the fluff of your tail on purpose. Even with his own fingers or with the top curve of his microphone-cane. He’ll play with the soft bunny fur, just to mess with you and get a reaction
Alastor bites at your bunny ears, once again… just loving the way you yelp and bounce away from him. He knows you don’t mean you’re scared of him but it’s a instinct and it makes his day, just how adorable you are
Alastor is, of course, protective over his little bunny girl. Especially since you’re in the body of a prey twice over. He’s a predator in the fur of a prey so he can trick others into thinking he’s harmless whilst yourself. You’re right up harmless, even for a Sinner demon, so he has to make sure you’re safe
Alastor likes to make you make bunny noises so he can lay his cheek on your head and listen to it. He views your precious little noises as therapeutic, he enjoys listening to them. So, he’ll rub and scratch your chin until he can just relax and his tall fluffy deer-like ears flicking at the sound of your soft happy noises
Alastor may or may not make jokes and wave carrots around, beckoning his little bunny to come eat. You’ll join in to entertain your boyfriend but you don’t like him even pretending that you’re just a bunny. He finds you a truly beautiful woman but he also can’t bring himself to not view you as a cute bunny
Alastor loves your soft fur and enjoys hugging you, just to feel your fur. It’s so comforting and he actually likes the scent of your fur. You’re so sweet, he almost wants to devour you. Like you’re a chocolate bunny, but then again. He can’t act like he doesn’t smell like a deer and have deer fur
Alastor recognises your smell and follows it spring to find you anytime you happen to be lost or run off and he remembers quite a lot of little facts about you. What your shoes look like in dirt, what directions in Pentagram City you’d go in, what type of cafés and restaurants you check at when it’s time for good
Alastor calls you all kinds of cute bunny-based nicknames; ‘bun-bun’, ‘cottontail’, ‘flopsy’, ‘fluffy’, ‘moony’, anything based around a bunny, he’ll give you those cute adorable little pet names. Both lovey-dovey for you and teasing you. It’s harmless at the end of the day but he does enjoy calling you those names over his broadcasts
Alastor absolutely loves the random affectionate gestures you give to him; choosing to sit near him, climbing on his back or nibbling at his clothing, licking his hands or face. He chuckles everytime and he remembers every habit you have, so he can guess which one you’ll do to him the next hour
“Awww~ aren’t you so precious, my little chocolate bun~? Come here, want to go out and explore Pentagram City again? We can go sit on the roofs of the buildings if you wish“
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Hiya, as you have requests open could you do some headcannons (sfw and NSFW perhaps?) for Charlie, Velvette & Verosika dating a male! reader who's on the insecure/shy side?
"Good Boy" ; Charlie Morningstar, Velvette, Verosika Mayday
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SFW:
She's the absolute sweetest, my god. Every day, praising everything she sees about you, letting you know how much she loves you, giving you soft hugs and shoulder rubs...
Since you're on the shyer side, she'd always make sure to ask if you're comfortable coming to social events with her.
If so, she'll bring you along and not force you to interact, but introduce you as her boyfriend if you're comfortable with it. But if not? No problem! She can either go by herself or you two can have a night in.
She's also constantly encouraging you to put yourself out there, because if people don't love you for who you are the way she does, good! They didn't deserve you, anyways.
"It'll be okay, S/O! You're so amazing, they're bound to love you! And hey, what's the worst that could happen?"
She totally understands if you're not comfortable doing all that, though. She'll give you her jacket and calmly comfort you.
Plus, her cuddles are really amazing. She'll hold you on her chest and kiss your forehead and all over your face, reminding you just how much she loves you.
And she loves those smaller intimate gestures. Comparing hand sizes, neck kisses and nuzzles, and the like.
NSFW:
Soft dom. Straight up.
Lots of praise, kisses, promises and declarations of love as she guides you in and out of her cunt, usually riding you so you don't have to put too much effort into it to be pleased.
Charlie is most definitely a service top, she gets off on your pleasure.
Seriously, blowjobs, handjobs, just about anything, she gets pleasure out of it when she makes you feel good.
Definitely a praiser in bed.
"You're doing so well, S/O, good boy! I'm so proud of you..."
Honestly, the easiest way to turn her on as her partner is to call her "Charlotte". She doesn't like it when people who aren't close to her do it, but when you do it? It's like flipping a switch in her head.
Her tongue is extendable and prehensile. She can make it just about as long as she wants and curl around just about anything, including your dick. And she won't have any second thoughts, either.
Sometimes, if you piss her off beforehand, she'll be a tad more rough, and the demon form may come to play. The horns, the tail, the sharper fangs, the inverted eye colors with slit pupils, the whole shebang.
But afterwards, it's right back to soft and loving, gentle Charlie.
She's a pro at aftercare, luckily, and she makes sure your every need and want is met. :)
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SFW:
She's not the nicest to just about anyone, and you're no exception. Sure, she's nicer by comparison, but she can hardly be considered polite.
Still, though, she has those rare moments where she'll actually show you that she loves and appreciates you, as selfish and rude as she is.
For example, a quick peck on the cheek after she's done something particularly obnoxious, or ranting to you before a big show she's nervous about.
"That fuckin' bitch can't even be bothered to fix that rat's nest on her head for the big event, and now I have to pull the rest of the girls together!"
Of course, she wouldn't tell you if she didn't trust you and love you. She wouldn't think it's worth it to bare the way she feels so openly.
She'd probably try to convince you to model for her to boost your confidence. If you did, she'd be considerably nicer to you than all her other models, for obvious reasons.
After all, she isn't dating any of her other models. They aren't any of her concern.
If you refuse, she'll be pouty for a bit, but eventually begrudgingly accept it, although she'll let you know that she's still not happy about it.
NSFW:
Mean dom, oh my god. Like, full on bordering on dominatrix, punishment and all.
Obviously, of course there's a safeword and consent is always implied. She's a lot of things, but she's all for consent.
That doesn't mean you don't have to be a bit of a masochist to fuck her, though. She'll make you please her first, fingering her, eating her out, or something along those lines, chasing her own pleasure before she thinks of pleasing you in return. And even then, it all depends on how she thinks you did.
"Mm~... Fuck, you love this, don't you~? Dirty little slut~."
Yeah, she has a thing for dirty talk, degradation (giving), and she probably has a mild Mommy, Mistress, or pet play kink, honestly. But the odds are she will never bottom. For you or for anyone else.
I could also weirdly see her being into choking or some other kink that gives her complete power over you.
But of course, at the end of the day, she still loves you very much, and she'll never not let you cum.
Even though she teases and edges for up to hours before she actually gives in and gives you what you so desperately need...
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SFW:
Honestly, Verosika is a really sweet girlfriend, although it does take her a little while to actually start showing you that side of herself.
She's had bad relationships in the past, namely with Blitzø, so she's still recovering from that and learning not to put all her eggs in one basket. Or more accurately, not to put all her faith in a brand new relationship.
But honestly, once she's over that? You're basically fully integrated into her life. Her posse loves you, you're basically one of them.
And thanks to dating Verosika, Vortex is also usually helping to protect you. What kind of bodyguard would he be if he couldn't protect his boss' boyfriend, too? Especially when he's never seen her so happy before.
"Heya, gang. This is S/O, my boyfriend~. Isn't he hot~?"
Of course, the group immediately accepts you, absolutely adoring the fact that you make Verosika so happy and feel so loved and cherished.
NSFW:
More of a switch, to be honest? Like, even as she maintains her usual persona, she's encouraging you to thrust into her, to fuck her hard, etc.
Like, she isn't outright domming you, but she also isn't subbing, she's kind of somewhere right in the middle of that, trying to encourage you.
She's a succubus, so her method of trying to give you confidence is to make you feel sexually desired, which is why she never holds back any noises you make her make at all. She wants you to know you're the one doing that to her.
"A-Ahn~... Oh, S/O... Right there, baby boy~... Yes, fuck, ngh... So good~..."
After all, if you can successfully please not just any succubus, but the Verosika Mayday, herself? That's got to do something for your self-esteem, right?
Besides, she's a succubus. She's really good at pleasuring people, and like Charlie, her tongue is extendable and prehensile, thanks to the whole 'succubus' thing.
She's someone who doesn't mind being heard even from outside the bedroom. After all, why should she be ashamed that her boyfriend makes her feel so wonderful, and that she does the same for him in return? Nothing shameful about it.
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The Cannibal thoughts...
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~ The Cannibal has survived and adapted to hunt other dragons, therefore he'd have an advantage when it comes to fighting/battling his own kind. As a young dragon he definitely only picked on eggs and hatchlings like a scavenger, perhaps out of desperation/convenience. The bigger and older he grew, the more ambitious he got with his prey. He'd start to hunt bigger and bigger dragons, hence why he's covered in so many scars from many hunts- some successful, others not. He'd grow smarter and adapt the way he hunts. he stalks and goes for weak areas. He definitely goes for the throat and jaw (either he tears a lower or upper jaw off so his opponent cannot bite or tear, and the throat, to damage their ability to efficiently breathe fire. He'd also try to mangle the others wings with his claws so they cannot fly well, so basically he pulls a lot of dirty, but effective moves to win.
~ His appetite towards his own kind, and the experience/adapting he's gone through to actually kill other dragons makes him ferocious- not particularly his size. Considering Caraxes was able to take down Vhagar, and cannibal is just a tad bit smaller than her, his size doesn't always grant him advantages. He's not particularly swift or quick like Moondancer, but much like Vhagar, he's steady and heavy on his wings- but he is clever and strategic. He'd probably do things like fly/hunt at night so his black scaled body can blend in with the night sky above (he'd hunt by flying above his prey, where's he's almost invisible to their eye, and strike down). He's adapted and survived by becoming a hunter, not a loud prowling monster (most of the time).
~ Also you know how cannibalism has an abnormal effect on the brain and behaviour? That definitely adds to his uncanniness. His stare is too... Human looking. There's this something that disconnects him from the other dragons. He stalks around with his head still like a panther, and he grins. His jaw is heavily scarred, and he's missing flesh and scales around parts of his mouth- exposing his teeth and gums. It kinda gives an illusion that he's open mouth grinning, like he has a Cheshire grin. (I love the idea of an uncanny, Lovecraftian horror dragon that is just unsettling to look at). His intimidation itself puts him high on the hierarchy amongst the dragons.
~ He's sadistic and likes playing with weaker prey. Like the indoraptor for example- that scene where he was pretending to be asleep, and started swiping his tail in the air to let the man know he was very aware and awake. He didn't spring to attack- he let it draw out slowly. Grinning and playing, acting slow and unpredictable- like he was torturing him by pressing his muzzle straight the man's face, just to let him feel his teeth pressed against him, before striking and chomping him into pieces.
~ He's very independent and likes his freedom. The only way he'd tolerate a rider, is if they wouldn't try to keep them confined to them. Whether it be a pit or a cage, he hates it. He wants to do his own thing.
(That's one of the main reasons bastard!reader and Cannibal bond together- over their mutual focus and longing on freedom). He may disappear for days- weeks, even. Just to travel and hunt and stretch his wings- he doesn't like staying cooped up on the beach forever. He's like a cat who enjoys roaming outside and hates being trapped indoors- but definitely comes back for biscuits and snuggles in his warm bed. (Aka, the beach).
~ He's very endurable and strategic and strong. He isn't very quick, however, so that's a weakness that can be exploited by a smaller opponent. He's dangerous- but not untouchable/overpowered. He can most likely fare well in combat with another dragon, even vermithor and Vhagar if he is feeling ambitious or driven enough to.
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a-dinosaur-a-day · 1 year
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Meig's Comprehensive Guide to Reptiles, aka: the vast majority of land vertebrates
Welcome! This is another long post by me, one of tumblr's most annoying resident paleontologists. But I promise: it'll be fun, it'll be engaging, and you'll be glad you read it.
What the Everloving Fuck is a Reptile?
Well, back in the day, you probably learned reptiles were land animals, with backbones, that were covered in scales, were cold-blooded, and laid eggs with hard shells.
But, you see, we classified organisms based on traits back when we didn't know about evolution. Or prehistoric life. And turns out, there are a lot of things in the past that do not fit in the categories we made based on living things today. A lot of things.
Soooooooo... now we classify based on evolutionary relationships! Aka, family trees.
So what is a reptile?
A reptile is any animal more closely related to living crocodilians (Crocs, Gators, etc.) than to rodents.
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Aka, back around ~330 million years ago, animals that laid land-adapted eggs split into two groups: Proto-Mammals (that would eventually become mammals), and Reptiles.
So, a reptile is, anything closer to the group of "classical reptiles" than to mammals. Simple enough. And it is the entirety of an evolutionary unit - a single clade, consisting of a common ancestor and *all* of that ancestor's descendants.
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Turns out, this includes birds, but I'll get to that.
The First Reptile Group to Branch Off: Parareptiles
So now we go through our groups of reptiles based on their evolutionary/familial relationships, and the first group to branch off from other reptiles were the Parareptiles.
(Note: Their evolutionary history is in flux and it's possible they're actually further down on the reptile tree, or not even a natural group. for now, we're going to go with them as the earliest branching group and assume they're a single thing, even though that is probably going to be very wrong in the next few years).
These were weird mfers, living from around 310 million years ago until 200 million years ago. They had robust bodies that were low to the ground, with legs *usually* sprawled out on either side. They also had very robust and broad skulls. Many of them look superficially like lizards, in that they're quadrupedal animals with limbs splayed out to the sides, but they were *nothing* like lizards. While early members of the group had long tails, over time, the bodies of parareptiles became more stout with shorter tails. They also had swollen, thick vertebrae, and stout upper limb bones. They were CHONKY.
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The earliest members to branch off were the Mesosaurs, a small group of aquatic reptiles! They were long and slender, and quite small compared to later aquatic reptile groups. The next group to branch off were Millerettids, which were small insectivores with superficially lizard-like apperances. Most Parareptiles were Procolophonomorphs, and included everything from the bipedal Eudibamus to the huge Pareiasaurs that were major megafaunal herbivores during most of the Permian period.
All Parareptiles, as far as we can tell, are extinct today. Unless their evolutionary relationships change. Yay science!
All the rest of reptiles are in Eureptilia, which have smaller bones in the lower back of the skull that no longer connect to the roof of the skull. So, skulls like living reptiles!
Captorhinids
The next group to branch off are the Captorhinids, a group of interesting little reptiles with shorter tails, sprawling limbs, and weirdly boxy heads. Living from 300 to 252 million years ago, they started out as small carnivores, and eventually evolved to be large herbivores!
Protorothyridids
Next to branch off are the Protorothyridids, which lived only in the latest Carboniferous. They were small, superficially lizard-like animals, but their limbs were a lot more slender and long than lizards, as were their bodies and heads. In fact, they seemed to have been adapted for climbing trees, making them among the earliest known animals to do so!
All remaining reptiles are Diapsids, characterized by having two holes (postorbital fenestrae) behind the eye socket. This is where all living reptiles are.
Araeoscelidans
Our first group of Diapsids are the Araeoscelidans, which - again - were SUPERFICIALLY lizard like. I cannot stress enough that nothing so far has been an actual lizard. In fact, they had more slender limbs, longer tails, and less specialized heads than lizards. That said, they probably lived similarly to them, though some members may have been adapted for climbing, and others for swimming.
Unfortunately, we're now at the part of the tree where evolutionary relationships are a mess. Parareptiles may actually go here, or only some of them. Lots of different groups diverged here very quickly. It's a messssss. I will go through each group, but just know all we know is that these groups fall outside the next big chunk - Sauria - but within Diapsids.
Younginidae
Younginids are reptiles from right around the End-Permian extinction, basically only living in the latest Permian and earliest Triassic. They were as big as living monitors, and they had less kinetic (mobile) skulls than living reptiles. They would have been superficially lizard-like - again - but very different, and they had ridiculously long tails and toes, making them powerful movers.
Tangasaurids
Tangasaurids were a weird group of end-Permian to earliest Triassic animals, with some adapted for aquatic life in freshwater and lake environments, and other living life on land like other reptiles. As such, Tangasaurids represent another experiment in secondarily-aquatic life among reptiles. The land dwellers had long toes for efficient land movement, while the aquatic ones had those amazing water adapted traits that we associate more with living species. In fact, some of their tails were flattened, like sea snakes today!
Longisquama
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For the sake of my sanity, I'm trying to group things up in as few groups as possible without ignoring anything. But this is a weirdo, and it doesn't have any family members, so I have to talk about it alone. You know that reptile you may have seen in books with the hockey-stick like things coming off of its back? That's Longisquama. The problem is, we don't know much about it. It had a small, slender head, and a typical reptile body, with limbs splayed out to the sides. Those fins on the back were *not* like feathers, but something else entirely - maybe just elongated scales. Or maybe it died on top of a plant (unlikely). Many bad scientists point to this animal and say its the ancestor of birds, but that's been thoroughly debunked at this point. It lived in the Middle Triassic, around 235 million years go.
Thalattosaurs
Thalattosaurs were Triassic reptiles - so living between 252 and 200 million y ears ago - that were semiaquatic! They had long, narrow skulls adapted for grabbing fish, and slender bodies for moving through the water. Their tails were long and paddle-like. Some of them had long necks, while others had shorter necks. Some even had a hook-like end of the snout for trapping slippery fish prey! They ate many different things, with a few species adapted for crunchy marine food, others for slippery, and so on.
Ichthyosauromorphs
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Some of the most famous extinct reptiles go in this group - the group of reptiles that essentially evolved to be dolphins before dolphins were even a thing - a classic case of convergent evolution. These marine reptiles were extremely successful, living from the beginning of the Triassic - 252 million years ago, possibly even older - until the middle of the Cretaceous, 90 million years ago. We have early forms that show only partial adaptations to marine life, but they very quickly became fully aquatic, even giving birth to live young under water. Some of the largest marine animals ever fall into this group, including Shonisaurus and Shastasaurus. The earliest members showcase the evolution from typical reptile-shape to the weird reptile-dolphins they would become. Proper Ichthyosaurs had big eyes, round bodies, long narrow heads, and four flippers - one for each limb. Their tails were also long and ended in a fin like living sharks and whales. Some even had a dorsal fin! This group is *huge*, so I recommend digging into their wikipedia pages to learn more! Note that these are their own, huge, distinct group of reptiles - completely separate from lizards *or* dinosaurs!
Claudiosaurus
Claudiosaurus is another unique, who knows where it goes reptile, and it showcases another shift into aquatic life for reptiles during the end-Permian mass extinction. It was 60 centimeters long, and had flippers on its feet. It probably couldn't move very much on land, so it would have lived most of its life in the water. Its tail, torso, and neck were all very long, while its head was on the smaller side. Its limbs were also quite long compared to its body size. So this was a weird animal - and we're not sure where it falls in the story of marine reptiles yet. More research on this critter is needed!
Choristoderes
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Choristoderes were semiaquatic, unplaceable reptiles that varied a lot in size over their time and managed to live through to the Miocene - so they existed from sometime in the Triassic to as recently as 11.6 million years ago! Some were as small as 30 centimeters, while others grew up to 5 meters. They were convergently similar to living crocodilians, with bodies built for semiquatic life and long narrow skulls for grabbing fish. In fact, their heads are kind of weird looking - like a heart at the base with a long projection coming off of it, if you look at it from the top. They had very simple teeth, and thin overlapping scales that were probably very soft in life. They also had webbed feet! They were exclusively fresh water animals, and may have had eggs that hatched immediately after being laid. It's wild we missed them being extant by like... a blink of an eye geologically.
Weigeltisaurids
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Reptiles have evolved gliding membranes from their ribs multiple times, and this is the first one we're talking about in this article. They lived at the end of the Permian, between 259 and 252 million years ago - only going extinct in the mass extinction, though a possible Triassic fossil is known. They were not close to lizards or dinos, but had a lot of convergently similar traits to lizards. The lower ribs, aka modified gastralia, are pulled out to the side in pairs of long hollow rods, which would have supported a gliding membrane that was controlled by the abdominal muscles. They were big, which made them less efficient gliders than living gliding lizards. Their heads were very triangular, and they had extremely long tails.
Sauropterygia
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Okay, so this group is going in "miscellaneous reptiles" because currently their evolutionary origin is in flux. We used to think they were close to the lizard and snake group, which we'll get to at the end of this post (long way to go). Then we thought they were close to turtles, and we didn't know where turtles went, so they were kind of in limbo. Then we figured out turtles were closer to crocodilians and birds than to lizards and snakes, so we dragged Sauropterygians there with them. And now studies are indicating that Sauropterygians and Ichthyosauromorphs are closely related, along with a bunch of other marine reptiles. And sometimes that group comes outside of crown-reptiles (Sauria, in a sec), and sometimes that group comes into the close to crocs and birds group like turtles. I don't know. I don't know where they go. They're going here.
Anyways, Sauropterygians includes a lot of weird marine reptiles. Helveticosaurs may be in this group - they had wide torsos, short limbs and tails, and a small square head, and were early marine reptiles during the middle Triassic. Saurospharigds may also go here - this group were superficially like turtles, but they were actually convergently similar, not related to living turtles closely at all (unless all Sauropterygians are?). They had elongated flat vertebrae on their backs, with matching chest ribs, to form a rib basket. Placodonts are the first definite group of Sauropterygians, which were *also* weirdly turtle-convergent. Some members of this group had huge scutes on their bodies, for part or all of their torsos, to protect them - different anatomically from turtle shells, but similar looking from a distance. They had teeth built for crushing shellfish, and had long tails to aid with swimming. Many members just looked like typical marine reptiles, however, and did not have those shells that later members had. Nothosaurs were Sauropterygians with long necks and tails and limbs that still had toes and were capable of going on land, but were more similar to the famous Plesiosaurs than the Placodonts were. Their feet were webbed, they ate primarily fish and squid. Pachypleurosaurs were similar, but had longer necks and limbs that were unable to go on land. The next group, Pistosaurs, had full flippers on their limbs, and long necks with triangular heads. This includes all Plesiosaurs, aka "Loch Ness Monsters", as well as things like Liopleurodon - many forms had very long necks, while many others had short necks, all across this group. Sauropterygians lived for the whole of the Mesozoic, showing up in the Early Triassic and lasting until the very end of the Cretaceous, and lived worldwide.
Drepanosaurs
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In the Triassic, a group of mystery reptiles - possibly in this group of not closely related to anything today weirdos, possibly closer to crocs and birds - that truly showcase the weirdness of the Triassic Period. Living between 230 and 201 million years ago, Drepanosaurs had very long bodies, with flexible limbs and hands adapted for grasping branches, including opposable toes on the foot and giant claws on the hands. Their heads were very small and triangular. They had a hump on their upper backs to allow for strong muscle attachments, giving them the ability to rapidly catch insects in midair. The tails of some species ended in a freaking extra claw. In short, they were generic reptiles - or almost-archosaurs - trying their damnedest to be monkeys. And they got terrifyingly close. Some had heads that were so convergently bird like that they confused bird researchers for years, but it was convergence - in fact, the beaks of Drepanosaurs are completely different anatomically.
SAURIA
If we defined reptiles above as everything closer to living reptiles than to living mammals - ie, the most inclusive group that has crocodiles but does not have mammals - this is the *least* inclusive group that still includes every living reptile. So like, Sauropsida - where we started - is like a huge clan, with only some surviving members, but the most recent grandparent those ancestors shared was not the start of the clan, it was later on in the clan's history. I hope that made sense. Anyways, this is the group we call Crown-Reptiles.
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And it, by that definition, has to include birds. Because birds and crocodilians are more closely related to each other than either are to lizards and snakes. Saurians first appeared at the end of the Permian, and diversified like crazy during the Triassic when all the niches opened up after the Great Dying. We can thank the End-Permian extinction for the sheer diversity of reptiles we have in the fossil record *and* today! Because while all those lovely friends from before were great - including the ones that persist to the Jurassic - most reptiles? Are in Sauria. There are so. Many. Reptiles. In fact, today, over 20,000 species of animals are reptiles! Mammals are only 5,513 species, and living amphibians are at 7,302. Among tetrapods, Reptiles are King! Saurians come in two groups: Archelosaurs, and Lepidosauromorphs.
ARCHELOSAURIA
The first division of Saurians is Archelosauria, the group that consists of Turtles, Crocodilians, and Birds, and *all* of their extinct relatives. For a while the position of turtles was uncertain - were they the only surviving Parareptiles? Were they cousins of Lizards? But genetic data has revealed that they go with what we call "Archosaurs" - Ruling Reptiles - the group of crocodilians and birds. How their fossil relatives are or are not a part of that story is where the mess remains. Archelosaurs come in two main flavors: Pantestudines, and Archosauromorphs.
Pantestudines
All living turtles, and everything closer to them than to any other living thing, go in this group. Turtles are truly bizarre animals, because their shells are unique among animals and not repeated by any other group. During development, ribs grow sidewise into a ridge along the back, entering the skin and supporting the carapace, which is made of dermal plates that form a hard shell, that is then covered in scutes made of keratin. The lower ribs, or gastralia, along with the collar bones, extend to form the Plastron, or lower shell. The lower shell flattens out and extends on the sides to connect with the carapace. Scutes also cover this side of the shell. It's just *weird*. Turtles are just *weird*. They originally evolved from aquatic ancestors, such as Odontochelys; though some forms became secondarily terrestrial again, with many lines of the group going back and forth - making this a rare example of a secondarily aquatic tetrapod returning to the land! Turtles laugh in the face of biome preferences.
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Many extinct turtles took on interesting forms, with some having large feet, others having extensive ornamentation - horns and bumps and nodules - on their heads. Some, like Meiolania, grew to extreme sizes. As the turtle group evolved, many returned to the sea, and became the largest ocean-dwelling turtles of all time - animals like the somewhat well known Archelon. Living turtles come in two main groups: side-necked turtles and hidden-necked turtles. They differ exactly how you'd expect - side neck turtles will retract their heads via the side of the body, curling it around the circumference, while hidden-necked turtles curl their neck into the body, pulling the head directly back into the shell. Most turtles - and all tortoises - fall into the hidden-necked group, including sea turtles! Turtles vary in size, limb length, head shape, and tail length, and live on every continent in the world today. In general, turtles are omnivorous, though many species show preferences for plants or meat.
ARCHOSAUROMORPHA
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We now dive into the rest of this side of the reptile family tree, everything closer to crocodilians and birds than they are to turtles - the Archosauromorphs. During the Triassic, this group took on many different and weird forms, making the entire group one of the most diverse groups of reptiles in terms of species count and differences in shape. All of these animals have a few things in common in their skeleton, though modern archosaur features took a while to evolve. Animals such as Sharovipteryx, the long-tailed reptile that used its legs for gliding membranes, the end-Permian survivor Protorosaurus, the *ridiculously* long-necked Tanystropheus, and aquatic Dinocephalosaurus were all early branching members of this group. But as we get closer to Archosaurs proper, we see more and more weirdness.
Allokotosaurs
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Allokotosaurs were weird large herbivores, with sprawling limbs and long tails, as well as short necks and boxy heads. They lived throughout the Triassic and were just bizarre. Some species even had horny beaks in the front of their jaws to help clip off plant material. One species, Teraterpeton, had a long, downward-pointing mouth. Other species had long, thin necks to reach higher vegetation. And, to just round out the craziness that is this group, Shringasaurus falls in here - a weird reptile with a sprawling body, shorter tail, long neck, small head, and horns on its head. Just for funsies. These herbivorous behemoths were some of the most unique animals of the Triassic Period.
Rhynchosaurs
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During the Triassic, there was a group of small, quadrupedal Archosauromorphs that really showcase the fun of convergent evolution. See, these little animals? Were Archosauromorphs doing their best to be rodents, long before rodents would ever appear. These little herbivores had short tails, stout bodies, short limbs, and front teeth that grew long for gnawing on plants - much like living rodents. Some got as long as two meters, and these were a fixture of much of the Triassic, before going extinct during the end-Triassic extinction.
Proterosuchids
Proterosuchids were a group of Archosauriformes - so still Archosauromorphs, but now getting closer to proper Archosaurs - that were a group of predators that really capitalized on the whole End Permian Mass Extinction thing. Found only in the latest Permian and earliest Triassic, these were medium sized reptiles with long tails and stout bodies. Their heads were long and narrow, with a hooked upper jaw interlocking with the lower jaw. They looked superficially like crocodilians, but lacked the scutes that are found in said group.
Erythrosuchids
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The next group to branch off, the Triassic Erythrosuchids were the apex predators of the Early and Middle Triassic, before Pseudosuchians really took over later on. They were extremely large, reaching between 2.5 and 5 meters long, with huge heads and robust bodies. When I say huge heads, I *mean* huge heads - they were robust and deep, and the upper jaw has a distinct dip that goes down lower than the lower jaw, giving their heads a very characteristic shape. They also are some of the first animals to have the Archosaur Hip Shape, so they only had a semi-sprawling posture - their limbs were more nimble!
Euparkeria
Many people have heard of Euparkeria. They even think it's a dinosaur ancestor. Well, it's not, not really. Euparkeria goes around here in the Archosaur tree, closer to living Archosaurs than the Erythrosuchids but not as close as the next group. In truth, Euparkeria is very similar to what we'd expect the common ancestor of both crocodilians and dinosaurs to be like, with fairly upright limbs - though recent studies indicate it was only quadrupedal, not capable of bipedalism. It had a long, rectangular skull, similar to early members of proper Archosauria, and osteoderms (scutes) on its back. This little guy from the Early Triassic gives us a hint as to how Archosaurs came about, with the specialized ankles we'd see in the Archosaur group first showing up in Euparkeria.
Proterochampsia
The closest group to living Archosaurs, Proterochampsians were weirdly crocodilian like, to the point of often being found to be in the crocodile line of Archosaurs! These were Triassic reptiles shaped very much like living crocodilians, with long wide bodies and tails, and very long triangular skulls. They had sprawling limbs, and scutes along their backs and bodies. The heavy osteoderms are well documented in a fully aquatic member, Vancleavea. In fact, on that side of the group, the animals had less of a crocodilian like head and more of small, tempered heads, possibly due to different lifestyles.
Phytosaurs
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Okay, these guys are either actually in the crocodilian line or just outside of Archosauria, it's a huge question. They were also weirdly crocodile like reptiles that lived during the Triassic, but were distinct from the Proterochampsians. Some had long snouts with conical teeth to eat fish, but others had shorter snouts with differently shaped teeth for eating land animals. They had distinctly serrated teeth, unlike living crocodilians, and didn't have erect or even semi erect gaits like living Archosaurs. Though many specialized for life in the water, this was a very diverse group that was doing a lot of the crocodilian-type jobs of later periods, but weren't crocodilians. They didn't have the secondary palate bone that allows crocodilians to breathe when their mouths are full of water! Weirdly, they were way more heavily armored than crocodilians, with heavy bony scutes and dense abdominal ribs (gastralia) for protection. Finally, they had their nostrils near their eyes, rather than at the end of the snout - allowing for them to breathe while submerged without that secondary bony palate.
ARCHOSAURIA
This is the group of the most recent common ancestor of living crocodilians and birds, and all of that ancestor's descendants. So while everything from Archosauromorpha to this have been closer to Archosaurs to anything else, these are the proper Ruling Reptiles as we currently define them. Archosaurs have teeth set in deep sockets, extra openings in the skull, and a pronounced ridge on their femur. They also only have claws on their first three fingers of the hand - the fourth and fifth, if they have them, lack claws. Archosaurs immediately branched into two groups: Crocodilians and their relatives, versus Birds and their relatives. We will start with the Crocodilians.
Pseudosuchia
A lot of early crocodilian relatives were superficially similar to living members, so they were originally given the name "fake crocodiles" or Pseudosuchia. Then, it turns out, that group was just the ancestors of crocodilians - which underwent many different shifts and turns in their evolution - so that means real crocs are... fake crocs. Remember friends, the names we give these things? Are extremely arbitrary. Do not take them for indicators of what these things are like. Early members had very broad, bulky skulls and even somewhat upright gaits, allowing for active predatory lifestyles. Everything from here until Avemetatarsalia are all Psuedosuchians.
Aetosauriformes
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In the Late Triassic, there weren't any armored dinosaurs, but there were Aetosaurs! These animals had extreme armor all over their bodies, with overlapping scutes on their back and often spikes or other armor on their limbs and back. They also had small, triangular heads, built for feasting on a variety of plants! These were extremely common animals, often having weirdly pig-like snouts if you squint, and mostly sprawling limbs. Found worldwide, their armor would have allowed them to be protected from the many varieties of large predator reptile around them, though they still ultimately went extinct during the end-Triassic extinction.
Poposauroids
A group that used to include other animals, this weird hodgepodge of a variety of Triassic Pseudosuchians including sail-backed animals, toothless creatures with beaks, and animals weirdly similar to dinosaurs to the point of being confused with them in the past. All of these crazies had upright limbs, and in the Shuvosaurids, this lead to animals evolving into essentially scaly lithe bipeds, what we used to think dinosaurs looked like! In fact, Effigia and Shuvosaurus both had long necks, beaks in the front of their small mouths, and completely upright postures, making them just straight up look like scaly versions of their dinosaur neighbors like Coelophysis. Alas, the Poposauroids, like many groups, went extinct in the end-Triassic extinction.
Rauisuchians
The top predators of the late Triassic, these were very large terrestrial pseudosuchians, with large boxy heads and upright limbs. This allowed them to move quickly and attack prey efficiently, making them extremely well adapted hypercarnivores. In a lot of ways, Postosuchus and its relatives in this group were convergent with later theropod predatory dinosaurs - even having huge boxy heads like Tyrannosaurs would. This means that what dinosaurs one day perfected, crocodile relatives tried out first! Alas, like most apex predators, they were not immune to mass extinctions, going extinct during the end-Triassic.
Crocodylomorpha
Now, at this point, the line that would lead to living crocodilians - Crocodylomorpha - actually look less like living crocs than the Rauisuchians and Phytosaurs did at the same time! These little reptiles were quadrupedal, thin, and built for running fast - they were lithe creatures built to avoid all of those big scary animals around them. But these were the only Pseudosuchians to survive the end-Triassic! And the first group to branch off here?
Thalattosuchians
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During the Jurassic and earliest Cretaceous, a common feature in the oceans were marine crocs - the Thalattosuchians! Still fairly distantly related to modern crocodilians, these reptiles convergently evolved many of the same adaptations for ocean dwelling as the Sauropterygians we met earlier. Some members, like Metriorhynchus, even evolved flippers and a tail fin! They had elongate bodies and very long, thin skulls for catching fish and other animals. They also gave live birth - possibly the only Archosaurs to ever do so!
Many more croc relatives would evolve into a variety of active terrestrial predatory niches, so we're going to jump down to the next major group:
Ziphosuchians
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Ziphosuchians were a group of croc relatives that actually lived from the Jurassic until the Miocene, as recently as 11 million years ago. These animals were ridiculously diverse in both diet and lifestyle, with a wide variety of shapes and sizes. Some, like Kaprosuchus, straddled the line between aquatic and terrestrial predation; others, like Sebecus, were completely terrestrial and huge predators during the Cenozoic; others had weirdly diverse teeth and thus potentially unique diets; and still others just straight up evolved to eat plants or to be omnivores, even shortening and squishing their skulls to be dubbed by modern researchers as "Pug Crocs". This huge diversity of form and ecology makes Ziphosuchians an intriguing extinct group, one that will benefit from increased research in the future. Some were even built for running around, and others had duck like snouts! This was a very diverse group I recommend learning more about.
Neosuchia
The rest of Pseudosuchia - Neosuchia - are all living crocs and their closest relatives, closer than those Ziphosuchians. Many were very similar to living crocodilians, even filling similar niches, though evolving to do so independently. Some had huge, long jaws, potentially to hold onto a throat pouch for catching large prey during the Cretaceous. Some were slender, marine reptiles, evolving to be aquatic again! The Dyrosaurids were a group of global marine, long-jawed crocs that survived the end-Cretaceous extinction and were some of the only predators in the post-extinction seas other than sharks. They had teeth in deep pits, distinct from other croc relatives. While they never developed flippers like Thalattosuchians, they did adapt their limbs for more efficient marine locomotion.
Crocodylians
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Living Crocodylians, a group of Neosuchians, only first appeared at the end of the Cretaceous, and were not the only surviving Pseudosuchians until relatively recently - many other forms, like the Ziphosuchians and Dyrosaurids, lasted until late in the Neogene, within the last 20 million years. Crocodylians have semi-sprawling limbs, lots of scutes all of their bodies, and even hearts like birds, pointing to their close relationship. They are semiaquatic animals, spending time both on land and in the water, and have their nostrils on the ends of their jaws. They have a sturdy second palate that allows them to hold water in their jaws and breathe at the same time! They also have some of the most powerful bite forces of any animal ever. Some extinct forms even did more terrestrial predation. Living species come in two groups - the Alligatorids, which have both caiman and alligators; and Longirostres, which have proper crocodiles and gharials. While most of them look very similar, Gharials have very long narrow snouts, while crocs caimans and alligators all have broader snouts.
That concludes the Pseudosuchia. Now we go back to the base of Archosauria, and look at the other half of their family - the bird line archosaurs!
Avemetatarsalia
All animals closer to birds than to crocodilians fall into this group. But that doesn't mean they were all shaped like living birds, just like so many Pseudosuchians looked very different from living crocodilians! They were originally characterized by having bird like ankles, though now the earliest members of the group lack them. At some point early on, members of this group evolved both warm-blooded metabolism and feathers, and we're not sure where. The earliest members of the group, Aphanosaurs, were semi sprawling long-bodied reptiles, fairly nondescript in appearance. That said, long was just their thing - their vertebrae are weirdly stretched out!
Pterosaurs
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Also commonly called "pterodactyls" even though that's... wrong; this is the classical group known as Flying Reptiles, and the next group to branch from the Avemetatarsalia tree! Evolving from thin, lithe, agile floofins - things like Scleromochlus and Lagerpetids - these animals extended their fourth finger extremely long, attaching a membrane of skin and muscle to that dramatically lengthened finger and down to the ankles. Early forms had long tails, with later forms shortening the tails to smaller nubbins. These were the FIRST vertebrates to evolve powered flight. Early forms were fairly generic, but over time they diversified extensively - having diamond tail ends, interlocking long thin teeth in their jaws for catching fish; others grew bristle like teeth for filter feeding small invertebrates; some grew huge bodies, with crests and display structures on their heads like Pteranodon. The Azhdarchids, huge forms that had long necks and giant heads, were some of the most successful members of this group, becoming apex predators in many ecosystems - and no wonder, given they were the largest flying animals ever and stood as tall as giraffes. In general, pterosaurs walked on four limbs, folding up their wings at their sides in order to do so. They first appeared in the Triassic, and, alas, went extinct during the end-Cretaceous extinction. This group is so diverse and fascinating that I could go on forever, so I will leave it here - but feel free to dive into their extensive wikipedia pages!
DINOSAURS
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We now move on to Dinosaurs and their closest relatives, the rest of the Avemetatarsalians. We define Dinosauria as the group composed of the two branches of the family - Ornithischians and Saurischians - usually phrased as the Most Recent Common Ancestor of Megalosaurus (a Saurischian) and Iguanodon (an Ornithischian) and all of that ancestor's descendants. Everything from here until the end of our trip through Archosaurs is a dinosaur - including every. single. bird. However, *nothing* outside of these paragraphs are dinosaurs! Dinosaurs are a single group of extremely successful reptiles, unique from all these other reptile groups - and all these other reptile groups are unique from dinosaurs. The main feature dinosaurs have in common? A completely open hip socket, allowing for limbs to be placed directly underneath the body, making dinosaurs very different in locomotion and posture than living nonavian reptiles, and very similar to their living members the birds. Early relatives showcase this evolution from semi-sprawling archosaurs to fully upright dinosaurs. Dinosaurs first appeared in the middle Triassic, though they weren't common until the Late. All the early forms were pretty much the same - small, bipedal animals, with long necks and tails, and fluffy bodies.
Ornithischians
The first main group of dinosaurs are the Ornithischians, which are united in having a small beak in the front of the jaws, called a predentary. It is possible that Silesaurids, once thought to be early Dinosaur relatives - quadrupedal lanky herbivores from the Triassic - fall in this group. All Ornithischians were primarily herbivores. Most of them were small, bipedal herbivores, but four main groups showed up over time: Stegosaurs, Ankylosaurs, Marginocephalians, and Ornithopods. Among the miscellaneous dinosaurs outside of those four groups, however, were interesting weirdos - the toothy and small Heterodontosaurs; the burrowing and armored Thescelosaurs; and, of course, the fluffy Kulindadromeus.
Stegosaurs
Stegosaurs were huge, quadrupedal herbivores with plates and spikes on their backs, necks, and tails. The plates were primarily for display and communication, while the spikes were for both display and self defense. They had very small heads, too, giving them a weird appearance. Alas, Stegosaurs lived mainly in the Jurassic, going extinct in the early Cretaceous... probably. Jury's still out based on some fragmentary fossils and tracks.
Ankylosaurs
Ankylosaurs, cousins of Stegosaurs, lived through to the end of the Cretaceous. They were heavily armored dinosaurs, with non-overlapping osteoderm scutes all over their backs and necks and heads. Many had spikes on the sides of their bodies, while other forms grew strengthened tails with clubs at the end for fighting each other. Still others grew weird sharp tail ends, formed from scutes creating a flat surface at the end of a stubby tail. They were not just like turtles, with the scutes evolving from scales rather than a shell evolving from the ribs. In fact, often times the scutes formed distinct rows along the body, not even really touching. There were tons of these dinosaurs throughout the Jurassic and Cretaceous, only going extinct in the end-Cretaceous extinction.
Marginocephalians
Marginocephalians included both Pachycephalosaurs - the dome-headed dinosaurs - and Ceratopsians, the horned and frilled dinosaurs. Pachycephalosaurs were bipedal animals, with huge domed heads and extremely strengthened tails - allowing them to butt heads and fight each other much like rams today. Ceratopsians had frills on the back of their heads - though in early forms it was very small, like Psittacosaurus - that evolved into large crests for display. Many grew horns on the side of these crests, while others grew huge horns on their faces in a variety of patterns. These horns were great for defense, but primarily served for communication and display, because some - like the curved downward horn of Einiosaurus - weren't really built for defense. Pachycephalosaurs were rare, but Ceratopsians were some of the most common dinosaurs around the world, with both groups only going extinct in the end-Cretaceous extinction.
Ornithopods
Finally, Ornithopods! Ornithopods were cousins of Marginocephalians, much as Ankylosaurs and Stegosaurs were more closely related to each other earlier. Some forms from the southern hemisphere (known as Elasmarians) were weirdly diverse, with lots of different forms from stocky and armored to small and lithe. Rhabdodonts had ridiculously complex teeth for efficient foraging, with some forms being more quadrupedal and others more bipedal. Some of the Ornithopods, Dryosaurids, evolved into extremely fast reptiles, adapted for running quickly away from predators with elongate, lean bodies. The second dinosaur ever described, Iguanodon, is from the Ornithopod group, with huge spike claws on their thumbs. Others, like Ouranosaurus, grew huge sails on their backs. While in the Jurassic and Early Cretaceous these animals were well adapted for feeding on dry hard plants, as the world grew more wet in the Late Cretaceous, they adapted to be able to chew on soft mushy plants. This huge group of Ornithopods - the Hadrosaurs- were extremely social animals, living in large herds with complex nesting sites. Some forms even grew huge crests on their heads, connected to their nostrils and lungs - allowing them to blow air through the crests, creating different sounds like brass instruments! What's really weird is that to chew that soft plant material, they grew thousands and thousands of teeth, which formed a single serrated surface for chewing. They also had weirdly long heads, superficially similar to horses; and hooves on their front feet! These diverse dinosaurs also only went extinct due to the end-Cretaceous extinction.
Saurischians
The other branch of the dinosaur family tree were the Saurischians - animals with hollow bones and lungs much like living birds, and it is from this group that birds would evolve. They come in two main flavors: Sauropodomorphs, and Theropods.
Sauropodomorphs
This is where all of the "long-necked" dinosaurs go, as well as their early relatives. In the Triassic, most of these animals were "prosauropods" - an artificial group of dinosaurs that were very successful, and from which proper Sauropods would evolve. Originally small bipedal omnivores, over time Sauropodomorphs grew longer necks, quadrupedal stances, and bulky bodies. The earliest Sauropods appeared in the Triassic, with four pillar like legs and huge torsos. Over time, a variety of different Sauropod groups would evolve. The Mamenchisaurs of Asia had the longest necks of any animal ever - reaching enormous sizes. The stocky Turiasaurs of Europe, North America, and Africa had short stocky necks and sturdy bodies. Diplodocoids included classic dinosaurs such as Apatosaurus/Brontosaurus and Diplodocus, but also weird squished forms like Brachytrachelopan, sailed ones like Rebbachisaurus, super grazers like Nigersaurus, and the weird spine-neck having Bajadasaurus. However, most sauropods fall into the group Macronaria. These were bulky dinosaurs, but evolved into some of the tallest animals ever in Brachiosaurus and Sauroposeidon. And, from this group evolved the Titanosaurs: The Largest Land Animals Ever. These were the dominant sauropods for the Cretaceous period, and were found on every continent around the world. Some grew to enormous sizes, while others were smaller; some grew armor on their backs, while others weirdly curled their tails into a spiral. Some had humps on their backs, others lost all their toe claws for maximum front limb pillar supportive action. While all other Sauropod groups had gone extinct by this point, Titanosaurs were extremely diverse and common right until the end-Cretaceous extinction.
Theropods
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All remaining dinosaurs fall into this group, the Theropods. These were all bipedal animals, and where feathers were regularly retained (other dinosaur groups usually lost their feathers as they grew bigger). Early members, like Coelophysis, had long thin necks and small heads, and were efficient fast predators in the Triassic - though not the dominant ones by any means (that went to the Pseudosuchians). Over time they grew bulkier and more powerful, with display crests on their heads like in Dilophosaurus (note: it did not have a neck frill, it did not spit poison).
Ceratosaurs
The first big grouping of Theropods to diverge were the Ceratosaurs, which were bulky predators with huge skulls and progressively smaller arms. Many had horns on their heads and armor on their bodies. Some forms remained small and thin, like Masiakasaurus, and even evolved herbivory, like Limusaurus. Others, the Abelisaurs, evolved very long thick bodies - sosig/sausage bodies - and teeny tiny arms for display purposes. They primarily caught and ate other animals with their huge, sturdy, square shaped jaws.
Megalosaurs & Allosauroids
On the line leading to birds, many different types of large predators evolved. Megalosaurs - of which the first named dinosaur, Megalosaurus, is a member - were lean predators with long arms and long heads, found across Europe and North America. One group, the Spinosaurids, evolved to be huge heron like predators, living at or near the water and scooping up fish and other animals - even creating pouches in their mouths to do so. Some evolved huge sails on their backs, presumably for display. Efficient, flexible jawed hypercarnivores - the Allosauroids - appeared in the Jurassic and were some of the largest predatory dinosaurs to ever live, lasting until the mid Cretaceous.
Coelurosaurs
Coelurosaurs contains all the rest of the Theropods, and these were very birdlike animals with more complex feathers and brains more similar to birds. Here we had Megaraptors, huge predators with giant hand claws. They were also very unique in another way. Outside of mammals, terapods are not able to turn their wrists inward, ie, form "bunny hands", rendering the "T. rex" pose that many people do to mimic dinosaurs extremely inaccurate, and all the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park et al have very broken wrists. However, Megaraptors? Could turn their wrists inward. So, I guess everyone was just mimicking Australovenator this whole time, or something.
Tyrannosaurs
Tyrannosaurs were a huge group of Coelurosaurs with a variety of different members - some were small fast bipeds covered in floof with display crests on their heads; while others were bulky predators evolving bigger and bigger heads. The bulkiest known land predator, Tyrannosaurus, was one of the last members of this group. Tyrannosaurs evolved shorter and shorter arms in order to grow stronger, bigger heads - and were some of the most highly adapted carnivores in history. They lived throughout the Northern Hemisphere, and only went extinct thanks to the end-Cretaceous extinction.
Maniraptoriformes
Many different types of small, bipedal floofins evolved in Coelurosaurs - things like Compsognathus, Sinosauropteryx, and Ornitholestes. These animals progressively evolved more feathers on their arms, until finally in Maniraptoriformes we see the appearance of bird-like wings. The "Ostrich Mimics" - even though they came first - Ornithomimosaurs were dinosaurs that essentially looked like modern ostriches but with long, bony tails. These fluffy dinosaurs had simple wings on their arms for display. Some members grew huge and weird - Deinocheirus, the Demon Duck, was a huge herbivore with giant arms and a hump on its back. Evolution is amazing like that. The Alvarezsaurs remained small, and their front limbs shortened until they had a single claw on each wing - allowing them to dig up bugs and other animals from hard to reach places. Therzinosaurs grew to be upright in posture, with huge hand claws and pot bellies, allowing them to digest huge quantities of plants.
Oviraptorosaurs
The Chickenparrots - Oviraptorosaurs - were herbivorous dinosaurs with near-modern wings. They had shortened tails, and long necks, and squat bodies. They lived throughout the Cretaceous and were extremely common. Some members had huge crests on their heads; most of the later members had huge, parrot-like beaks as well. Honestly, Oviraptorosaurs were very weird and charismatic dinosaurs, and mainly ate an omnivorous to herbivorous diet.
Scansoriopterygids
At this point, one of the weirdest dinosaur groups - the Scansoriopterygids - diverged. They didn't live for very long, only found in the Jurassic of China; but they evolved membraneous wings between their fingers, making them - essentially - actual (small) wyverns.
Dromaeosaurs
Dromaeosaurs - "raptor" dinosaurs - are where we see the first signs of flight in dinosaurs, with Microraptor having wings on its arms and legs allowing for a clumsy version of flight. Most members couldn't fly, but they came in a lot of weird shapes and sizes - with some even being semi aquatic and shaped like geese! They had sickle claws on their feet, which were good for stabbing strategically at certain places in their prey, leading to the prey bleeding out. They would hold their prey steady by rapidly flapping their wings, which they could also do to move quickly up steep surfaces. These predators ranged in size from very small to bear sized, though Velociraptor - the most famous one - was only the size of a coyote. All of them - ALL of them - were feathered like living birds.
Troodontids and early Avialae
Their cousins, the Troodontids - which may or may not be closer to birds, we don't know - were also very bird like, but more slender in proportion and with smaller sickle claws. Interestingly, they had some of the largest brains for their bodies among Mesozoic ("nonavian") dinosaurs. Other forms similar to them - may or may not be in a group with them - called Anchisaurids, still retained the leg wings of Microraptor and co. Many of these animals have been preserved with complex, fluffy feathers, similar to living birds. Still similar yet, Archaeopteryx didn't have four wings, but did have fluffy legs and sickle claws on its feet similar to Troodontids and Anchisaurids. One dinosaur, Jeholornis, evolved to eat seeds; while another, Sapeornis, was one of the first dinosaurs to try out a lifestyle similar to living birds of prey.
Enantiornithines
At this point, dinosaurs lost their bony tails and grew shortened, fused tails - the tails of modern birds. They tried out lots of different forms with this - dinosaurs with ribbon tail feathers like Confuciusornis, and then the Opposite Birds, or Enantiornithines. See, living birds have a concave joint location on the coracoid (shoulder bone) and a convex joint on the scapula to link to it; in Enantiornithines, the concave joint is the scapula, and the convex is the coracoid. Enantiornithines were extremely common, with countless forms across the Cretaceous period - some were waders, others were like birds of prey, some even adapted to look like toucans with teeth. Still, all of them went extinct at the end of the Cretaceous.
Euornithes
The line to true birds, with the correct wing articulation, wasn't quite as diverse, but had many members. Many of these animals were adapted for water based life, while others evolved to be large flightless animals. Others were simple tree dwelling birds, living alongside the similar looking Enantiornithines. The closer you get to living birds, the more teeth were lost - and the modern bird beak began to evolve. Still, teeth are found in the closest relatives to modern birds, Ichthyornis and the Hesperornithes. Hesperornithes were a group of Cretaceous dinosaurs that evolved for aquatic life, spending all their time in the water hunting fish - kind of looking like a toothy penguin or loon.
NEORNITHES
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All remaining dinosaurs fall into Neornithes, the least inclusive group that still has all living birds, a derived clade of the Theropods. These were the only dinosaurs to survive the end-Cretaceous extinction. You can literally divide dinosaurs based on that extinction - everyting above this, from the Mesozoic; everything below this, from the Cenozoic. Today, half of all reptiles - over 10,000 species, possibly up to 20,000 - are birds. There is no way for me to go over all birds without losing my mind, so I'm going to summarize them as simply as I can. But these dinosaurs are, as you can see, firmly nested in the dinosaur family tree - there is no way to separate them out. What follows is the world's most efficient description of bird diversity ever.
Palaeognaths
The first major division is between Palaeognaths and Neognaths. Palaeognaths include ratites like Ostriches, Cassowaries, and Emu, but also the flighted Tinamou. It seems that this group evolved flightlessness multiple times, and did not all stem from a flighted ancestor - an extinct group, the Lithornithids, were fully flighted, tree dwelling dinosaurs of the Paleocene and Eocene (right after the end-Cretaceous extinction). Neognaths contains all other birds.
Galloanserans
Neognaths contains Fowl - chickens, ducks, and relatives - and all other birds. The fowl group, Galloanserae, has some of the only Neornithines we have fossils of from the Cretaceous. These animals come in a wide variety of forms - including the extinct, large, flightless Gastornis and Mihirungs. Ducks, Geese, Swans, Screamers, and Magpie-Geese all fall into the Waterfowl side of Galloanserae; while Chickens, Pheasants, Megapodes, Partridges, Grouse, Curassow, Guineafowl, Quail, Guans, and Chachalacas are on the Landfowl side.
One group of birds, the extinct pseudotoothed Pelagornithids, resist classification - it's unclear where they go, but they might actually be closely related to the fowl. These were some of the largest flying birds ever, and had eldritch horror mouths. Birds can't reevolve teeth - they lost the genes for enamel - so instead, some make their tongues sharp, while Pelagornithids just decided to eff up their jaws.
Neoaves
Now, the rest of birds are in Neoaves, which seems to have arisen at the very end of the Cretaceous and diversified extremely rapidly at the start of the Paleocene. This means their evolutionary relationships are a MESS and we don't really know what goes where between here and Telluraves. Different groups of these miscellaneous Neoavians include Mirandornithes (flamingos, grebes, and the extinct giant swimming flamingos), Columbimorphs (pigeons, mesites, and sandgrouse), Otidimorphs (bustards, cuckoos, and maybe turacos), Strisores (hummingbirds, swifts, potoo, frogmouth, nightbirds - the flying specialist clade), Gruiformes (cranes and rails), Charadriiformes (waders, gulls, and auks), Eurypygimorphs (Sunbittern, Kagu, and Tropicbirds), and Aequornithes (water birds). Aequornithes is an extremely diverse group, including loons, penguins, albatross, petrels, storks, boobies, cormorants, herons, ibises, shoebill, hamerkop, and pelicans - as well as an extinct group, the Plotopterids, which were boobies doing their best penguin impression! There's also the Hoatzin, which is a mysterious bird among these mysteriously related birds, that doesn't really go with anything - but man, does it smell.
Telluraves
The rest of birds fall into Telluraves, known as the tree dwelling birds, which evolved from a predatory common ancestor. These include the Accipitrimorphs, which fall into Cathartiformes - Western Hemisphere Vultures, including the Teratorns that went extinct recently - and Accipitriformes, which includes all hawks, eagles, buzzards, Eastern Hemisphere vultures, the Secretarybird, kites, and other diurnal birds of prey that aren't falcons or seriemas. Owls, aka nocturnal birds of prey, form another group in this clade, with many weird extinct forms - including the stilt-owls. Coraciimorphs are a major group of Telluraves, which includes mouse birds, cuckoo roller, trogons, quetzals, hornbills, kingfishers, hoopoe, and woodpeckers - this extremely diverse group of tree dwellers is found worldwide and includes so many weird animals (have y'all seen how the tongue works in woodpeckers? Yeah).
Australaves
Australaves is the last remaining clade, still within Telluraves, and its a group of birds that arose in Australasia. The first group to diverge were the Seriemas and their relatives, which includes all the Terror Birds - one of the most successful predator bird lineages ever, with tons of species that carried on the theropod legacy excellently in South America and then North America, only going extinct due to the ice age. Next to diverge are the falcons and caracacaras, which are very different and separated from the other diurnal birds of prey we discussed above - and also, very cute. Next up? Parrots! Finally! Parrots includes everything from the Kakapo to the Macaw, and had a lot of huge varieties over their evolution.
Passeriformes
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Sister to Parrots, our last bird group, within Australaves, and including HALF of all bird species, are the Passerines - Perching Birds. Literally, there are more species of Passerines - just one group of birds - than there are of all mammals. I'm going to list them now as simply as I can, but just know, there are so many of these, and they are very diverse and very colorful and very weird and they include the second smartest animal on earth after people, the members of the genus Corvus. So, Perching Birds include New Zealand Wrens, Asities, Broadbills, Sapayoa, Pittas, Crescentchests, Gnateaters and Gnatpittas, Antbirds, Antpittas, Tapaculos, Antthrushes, Ovenbirds, Woodcreepers, Manakins, Cotingas (including the Cock of the Rock), Tityras, Tyrant Flycatchers, Scrub-Birds, Lyrebirds, Australian treecreepers, Bowerbirds, Fairywrens, Emu-wrens, Grasswrens, Bristlebirds, Pardalotes, Scrubwrens, Thornbills, Gerygones, Honeyeaters, Pseudo-babblers, Logrunners, Jewel-Babblers, Quail-Thrushes, Cuckooshrikes, Trillers, Whiteheads, Sittellas, Whipbirds, Wattled Ploughbill, Shirketits, Australo-Papuan Bellbirds, Painted Berrypeckers, Vireos, Whistlers, Oriols, Figbirds, Boatbills, Woodswallows, Butcherbirds, Currawongs, Australian Magpie, Berryhunters, Shrikes, Boubous, Tchagras, Bristleheads, Ioras, Wattle-eyes, Batises, Vangas, Fantails, Drongos, Flycatchers, Ifrits, Birds of Paradise, Choughs, Apostlebirds, Melampittas, Jayshrikes, Crows, Ravens, Jays, Satinbirds, Berrypeckers, New Zealand Wattlebirds, Longbills, Stitchbirds, Australian Robins, Rail Babblers, Rockfowl, Rock jumpers, Hyliotas, Fairy Flycatchers, Tits, chickadees, Titmice, Reedlings, Larks, Nicators, Warblers, Crombecs, Cisticolas, Reed Warblers, Grassbirds, Donacobius, Malagasy Warblers, Wren-Babblers, Swallows, Martins, Bulbuls, Babblers, Parrotbills, White-eyes, Laughinthrushes, Fulvettas, Leaf-warblers, Hylias, Bushtits, Scrub Warblers, Bush Warblers, Yellow FLycatchers, Palmchats, Waxwings, Silky Flycatchers, Hylocitrea, Hypocolius, Hawaiian Honeyeaters, Elachura, Dippers, Chats, Thrushes, Oxpeckers, Starlings, Rhabdorns, Mockingbirds, Thrashers, Goldcrests, Kinglets, Wallcreeper, Nuthatches, Treecreepers, Gnatcatchers, Wrens, Sugarbirds, Dapple-Throat, Sunbirds, Flowerpeckers, Leafbirds, Fairy-Bluebirds, Olive Warbler, Przewalski's Finch, Weavers, Indigobirds, Whydahs, Waxbills, Munias, Accentors, Sparrows, Snowfinches, Wagtails, Pipits, Finches, Euphonias, Thrush-Tanagers, Longspurs, Buntings, Cardinals, Mitrospingid Tanagers, regular Tanagers, Yellow Breasted Chat, Grackles, Blackbirds, Orioles, Wrentthrush, a bunch of weird warblers, spindalises, and Hispaniolan Tanagers.
Why the fuck are passerines so diverse, you ask? Apparently their genetic makeup leads to speciation at the drop of a hat. It's wild.
And that, my friends, is all dinosaurs. Everything from the Dinosaur header to now.
Let's go back to the base of Sauria! Take it back now y'all!
LEPIDOSAUROMORPHA
Finally, the other half of the Saurian tree! Lepidosauromorphs, unlike Archosaurs, kept a fully sprawling gait, but had a sliding joint in the shoulder blade chest area to allow for longer strides while moving, and pleurodont teeth - teeth fused to the inner surface of the jaw bone. They also retain the Parietal Eye - a small "third eye" on the top of the head found in earlier reptiles and amphibians - which is not found in Archosaurs or Turtles. Thus, these are extremely unique reptiles - though they superficially look similar to many of the reptile groups we've covered, they have adaptations for more efficient feeding and locomotion. In addition, many Lepidosaurs - including Tuatara and many forms of lizard - have tail autonomy, meaning, they can shed their tail and regrow it in order to elude predators, a feature not found in Archosaurs. This group is the group of Lizards, Snakes, and Tuatara, and all of their extinct relatives - things closer to them than to the Archosaur side of the tree.
Kuehneosaurids
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Unlike Archosaurs, Lepidosaurs don't have a lot of varied and diverse extinct relatives - while Archosauromorpha is filled to the brim with weirdos, Lepidosauromorphs only have a few isolated forms showing the evolution to Lepidosaurs, and possibly the Kuehneosaurids. Kuehneosaurids were another experiment in reptilian gliding via rib extinctions, living entirely in the Triassic and completley separate from the Weigeltisaurids from earlier. They were insectivores, with pin like teeth, and very small heads. Some members were capable of gliding, while others were only really good at leaping from branch to branch.
Crown Lepidosaurs are made up of two groups: Rhynchocephalians (Tuatara) and Squamates (lizards and snakes).
Rhynchocephalia
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Today, there is only one: the Tuatara. In the past, they were everywhere, extremely common reptiles found around the world, especially in the Triassic and Jurassic. Compeletely separate from lizards, these reptiles had fused skull bones into a bar across the top of each side of the head, and unique teeth for digesting a wide variety of food. While the only living member looks superficially like lizards, extinct species took many forms - including one that had very small legs and a very elongate body for simming through the water (Pleurosaurus). Sapheosaurids had huge broad tooth plates, allowing them to eat hard shelled organisms. Today, the living Tuatara doesn't replace its teeth during its life, leading to a changing diet from childhoood to adulthood, switching from hard prey to softer prey as they age. Today, they are only found in Aotearoa.
Squamates
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All remaining reptiles - including just as many species as birds - are the Squamates, otherwise known as lizards and snakes. Squamates aren't just generic reptiles, but highly specialized animals with very unique adaptations. They have horny scales all over their body that have to be shed via moulting, and are very differently formed than the scales found in Archelosaurs. They have movable bones in the quadrate, allowing the upper jaw to move independently. In addition, viviparity - giving birth to live young rather than eggs - evolved multiple times in Squamates, across a variety of members. And they varied extensively in size, with extremely small members less than an inch long, to huge marine members that are long extinct.
The first group to diverge are the Dibamids, or Blind Skinks, which are small insectivorous lizards that burrow into the soil. They also lack limbs, but will not be the last lizards to lose their limbs.
Gekkotans
Next up are the Gekkos - small, mainly carnivorous lizards found everywhere but Antarctica. They have a variety of clicking and chirping sounds, unique among lizards, and have loud mating calls. They are usually nocturnal, and many have specialized toe pads, allowing them to grab and climb on smooth and vertical surfaces. There are over a thousand species of Gekkos alone.
Scincomorphs
Next are the Skinks and their close relatives, the Scincomorphs. This has a lot of different forms, including many extinct ones. These lizards have cone shaped heads with very large and symmetrical scales, forming kind of a shield over their bodies. These scales are smooth and glossy. They have dermal armor, as well, and long tapering tails. There are over a thousand species, and many are found in the desertws of Australia and temperate areas of North America. Girdled Lizards, Spinytail Lizards, and Night Lizards all fall into this group along with Skinks.
Lacertoidea
Up next are the Lacertoids, a big group of diverse lizards united by having tile-like scales on their bodies, which form characteristic rings in Amphisbaenians. Members include the Amphisbaenians - aka worm lizards, yet another lizard group that lost their legs - as well as the Wall Lizards (Lacertids), Largescale Lizards (Alopoglossids), Spectacled Lizards (Gymnophthalmids), Whiptails, Racerunners, and Tegus (Teiids). This group also has over a thousand species with a variety of ecologies - and some members even are capable of parthenogenesis! Most Lacertoids are small or medium sized, though Tegus get quite big. They are slender lizards, with long tails, and a wide vareity of colors.
Toxicofera
All remaining squamates - literally all - fall into a single group, the Toxicoferans. As the name suggests, these reptiles have in common the presence of venemous members - species that produce venom and are able to deliver it to prey via biting. In fact, venom seems to have only evolved the once in reptiles: in th ancestor of this group, Toxicofera (see why a venomous Dilophosaurus, a dinosaur very far removed from this group, was ridiculous?). Containing half to sixty percent of all Squamates, Toxicoferans are to Squamates as Passerines are to Birds. There's just SO many of them. We used to not know about this group, because they don't have morphological similarities other than the venom - but thanks to genetic studies, we have been able to recover it with genomic phylogenetics. Evolution sure is fun! They first appeared in the Late Triassic, meaning all these other lizard groups diverged rapidly during that period. Toxicoferans have two main groups: Iguanians with Anguimorphs, and Snakes.
Anguimorphs
Anguimorphs include a lot of different varied lizards, such as beaded lizards, Gila Monster, Knob-Scaled Lizards, Galliwasps, American Legless Lizards, Glass Lizards, Alligator Lizards, Crocodile Lizards, and Monitor Lizards. As such, it includes the largest living lizard species, the Komodo Dragon! These reptiles can have limbs or be limbless, can have long tails or short tails, can give birth to live young, feed on insects, be hypercarnivores, be semiaquatic, or even have well developed limbs for climbing. There were also many extinct forms of this group, which were venomous and often very dangerous predators in their Mesozoic environments.
Polyglyphanodontians
A completely extinct group of lizards, these reptiles were relatives of Iguanians and were the dominant type of lizard across North America and Asia during the Cretaceous and earliest Paleogene. Many had large, blunt teeth for crushing food; others were specialized herbivores with iguana like teeth; and yet others had blade like teeth for shearing plants. Most went extinct at the end-Cretaceous, with only one form surviving into the Cenozoic and going extinct in the Eocene.
Iguanians
Iguanians, the remainder of the non-snake lizards, includes two thousand species of Iguanas, Chameleons, Anoles, Phrynosomatids, Agamids, and more - such as Collared Lizards, Leopard Lizards, Helmet Lizards, Curly-Tailed Lizards, Spiny Lizards, Swift Lizards, and Tree Lizards. Most are arboreal, but many are terrestrial. They have non-prehensile tongues, which are extremely unique and modified in Chameleons. Most are found in the Western Hemisphere, though many are found on islands around the world.
Mosasaurs
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A group of large marine lizards, closely related to snakes (which we will visit next), these huge predators were a fixture of the Late Cretaceous seas, before going extinct during the end-Cretaceous extinction. These reptiles over time turned their legs into flippers, and developed fins on their tails, completely adapting for aquatic life. They had bodies similar to living monitor lizards, but elongated and streamlined for swimming. They would swim through the water with strong tail propulsions, similar to sharks and ichthyosaurs. They probably would rapidly pounce on prey, swimming extremely fast to catch them by surprise. Many were adapted for eating on shelly hard prey, while others were more adapted for feeding on fish and other vertebrates (such as other marine reptiles). They had double hinged jaws and flexible skulls allowing them to swallow huge prey whole. They gave birth to live young, and had a lot of similar adaptations for marine life to living cetaceans - kind of making them the lizard version of whales, especially given they were warm blooded. They had diamond shaped scales over their body, similar to their living relatives, the snakes.
Ophidians
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Snakes and their relatives, Ophidians, are our last group of Squamates. Firmly nested in the group, more closely related to some lizards (Iguanians and Anguimorphs) than to others, this makes snakes - by every definition - a kind of lizard. This bothers a lot of people, but there's no way around it: Snakes are highly adapted lizards. They had many extinct relatives, where all living snakes are in the group Serpentes. Early relatives, such as Lapparentophiids and Simoliophiids, show the evolution of snakes from their lizard ancestors. Some indicators show that snakes may have originally been marine - which explains the whole "Mosasaurs are closest to snakes" thing, at least somewhat. Some early fossils even showcase the reduction of the limbs, which would be lost entirely in proper snakes. However, most researchers think snakes certainly started out as burrowers, with an early relative Najash in the Cretaceous being a terrestrial burrowing animal and the even earlier Tetrapodophis also showing adpatations for burrowing life. Snakes first arose in the Cretaceous, and exploded in diversity during the Cenozoic. The puzzle of snake and mosasaur evolution is one that many scientists are actively working to solve - did snakes start as burrowers, or swimmers?
Madtsoiids
One group of snakes, the Madtsoiids, evolved in the Late Cretaceous and persisted up until the Pleistocene - so very recently - in Australia. Including some of the longest snakes known, they were either just outside the group of living snakes or the first group of them to split out (or maybe they aren't a natural group, but this post is already too long so I'll leave that there). They didn't have the highly mobile jaws of living snakes, so they couldn't swallow large prey, but they did have strong trunks to allow them to squeeze their prey like living boids. If this is a natural group, they only went extinct probably due to the climate change of the Pleistocene, or maybe due to human activity.
Scolecophidians
The nexzt group to diverge are blind and thread snakes, which definitely bolsters the burrowing idea, as many of these snakes have extremely reduced eyes and spend their lives burrowing in the ground. These snakes only use one lung and one oviduct, presumably to make themselves more streamlined and efficient for burrowing life. They do sometimes come up after rain, which is usually the only time you can see them - they do this to escape flooding in their burrows. These are small snakes, found across the world.
Amerophidians
Amerophidians, which is a very small group of unique snakes, includes the American Pipe Snake, Dwarf Boas, and Thunder Snakes. Most members of this group aren't venemous. They have very striking color patterns and are found in South and Central America. Some species are arboreal, while others mainly spend their time burrowing underground. The American Pipe Snake especially eats a very wide variety of other animals, including Caecilians, Amphisbaenids, other snakes, fish, and frogs.
Uropeltoids
This next group of snakes includes shield tailed snakes, earth snakes, pipe and cylinder snakes, and dwarf pipe snakes. These snakes are also burrowers, ranging across South and Southeast Asia. They are nonvenemous, and have distinctive patterns on their bodies. These are some of the most enigmatic snakes, with many poorly understood by researchers. They eat a variety of food, including small invertebrates as well as other snakes and vertebrates.
Pythonoids
Pythons and snakes closer to pythons than to Boas or Caenophidians are what we find in this group, though it's unclear how they're related to those two other groups (the three of them together make up most snakes). Pythons are nonvenomous snakes, suffocating their prey to kill it, and are found across Africa Asia and Australia (with invasive forms in Florida thanks to pet release and one species just native to Mexico). They are ambush predators, hiding to strike prey by surprise. Many forms have very iridescent scales, and some species do burrow and spend most of their time underground before coming up to hunt for frogs and small mammals. They reproduce with eggs.
Booids
Boas, anacondas, tree boas, and their relatives fall into this group, which are extremely common snakes in the Americas and also found in other continents around thew orld. They also, interestingly, have vestigial hindlimbs, that are spurs near the vent region. They, like pythons, kill their prey with Constriction, but can eat prey up to the size of tapirs - even swallowing prey whole, taking weeks to fully digest. They don't crush their prey to death, but rather kill them with suffocation. Unlike pythons, most booids give birth to live young.
Caenophidians
This is our last reptile group, and it includes 80% of all living snake species - basically every snake not previously mentioned. As such, this includes file snakes, racer snakes, odd-scaled snakes, snail-eaters, vipers, water snakes, mudsnakes, cobras, coral snakes, sea snakes, mole snakes, sand snakes, shovel-snouts, burrowing asps, stiletto snakes, hognose snakes, ratsnakes, and so many more. Venemous snakes - like vipers and cobras, including rattlesnakes - are in this group, but not all members are venemous. These snakes are found all around the world, and feed on a wide variety of prey items, including other snakes and lizards.
And those are the reptiles. So many weird extinct forms, so many diverse living ones, the age of reptiles did not end with the Mesozoic - instead, it adapted into the wonderful forms we see today.
I hope you enjoyed this, as long as it was, and thanks for reading!
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thankskenpenders · 5 months
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IDW's Fang the Hunter miniseries! All four issues are out now! I don't have as much to say about it as I did with the Knuckles show, but I do have some thoughts.
So! This is a pretty fun miniseries. I liked it.
It's fun to see Ian get to write a four-issue arc starring the Hooligans, his precious boys, with a B-plot showing Sonic and Tails' perspective on this little adventure. As always, Ian captures the characters' voices well. In particular, I really liked Bean in this, who despite being a slapstick screwball is actually a pretty perceptive guy. He often acts as sort of a voice of reason for Fang, seeing right through his sweet talking and pointing out how badly all of their schemes go but sticking around nonetheless just for funsies. And the art (illustrated this time by Mauro Fonseca for the first issue and Thomas Rothlisberger for the rest) is as good as we've come to expect from IDW's Classic Sonic output. Overall, this is a fun little romp that captures the vibes of the Classic era very well.
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...But...
Well, as I've said before with the Amy and Tails anniversary specials, I feel like we're kind of seeing diminishing returns with these Classic spinoffs. They're fun, sure, and very nice to look at, but their writing always leave me wanting more.
A big part of this is just that there's just less to work with compared to the Modern universe. The Classic cast is much smaller, and within that cast there are a bunch of characters currently going unused, some of which are currently off-limits. Aside from the appearance of the Witchcarters in Tails' special, we've pretty much just stuck with the cast of Sonic Mania and the Hooligans, as established in the first special. No Chaotix, no Battle Bird Armada, barely any Honey. (Classic Vector was able to get a tiny cameo in the Amy special only because he was so obscured that it gave the IDW team plausible deniability to say it was actually a different character if Sega complained.) It's a very small box, and Ian's recent Classic comics haven't particularly expanded the boundaries of that box. They're just excuses to play the hits for old times' sake. And that was a lot of fun the first time around, but the novelty is starting to wear off for me.
I will admit, sure, the tighter focus on a specific set of characters from the games is a big part of the appeal of these Classic comics. They're simpler. They're nostalgic. They're shining the spotlight on characters that can't be used in the main series. They're the slavishly faithful old school Sonic comics that we could never get in the '90s, because the comics we did get diverged into their own continuities with tons of new characters. I get all that.
But the thing is, the Sonic comics have always added all those new characters because you can just do so much more with them. The game cast is great! But they're corporate mascots Sega keeps on a tight leash. You can do so much with a character like Sally or Surge that you could never do with any of the game characters, and by pushing into new territory with these new characters you can also bring out interesting new sides of the game cast. Maybe Sonic himself can't have some crazy complex character arc, but you can see how he'll respond to the things going on with these other characters, and how these other characters' arcs are informed by their relationships with Sonic.
So I look at the Fang miniseries, and I'm like. This was pretty fun. But by the end, what was the point of the story? What did we learn about the Hooligans as characters that we didn't already know? Is the point just to depict an adventure where things go off the rails a little and Bean and Bark end up a little miffed, explaining why they weren't with Fang in Superstars? There's potential for an arc there about the dissolution of the group, but it really does come off more as the type of spat these three probably get into all the time before coming back together for the next job. It's neither super dramatic nor super funny, feeling more like it ends on a fairly matter-of-fact note where Fang's like "welp, time to go do the events of Sonic Superstars" at the end, not particularly plussed by anything that happened in this arc. What we're left with is four issues of the Hooligans encountering recognizable characters and visiting recognizable locations from the Classic games, with little that really feels new or fresh here.
Ironically, the most interesting story element to me here (aside from Bean's characterization) is its tie to the main comics, something previous specials couldn't do since Sega had yet to reunify the Classic and Modern timelines. The plot of this comic revolves around Fang following the myth of the "eighth Chaos Emerald," riffing on both old playground rumors and Sonic the Fighters. What they actually end up finding isn't an extra Emerald, but rather the Warp Topaz that would eventually end up in Starline's possession in the Modern era, having apparently been found by the Hard-Boiled Heavies in the cave seen in the 900th Adventure special.
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That's kinda neat, and the abilities of the Warp Topaz are used in fun ways. But this isn't exactly something to write home about for people who aren't lore nerds like me. There isn't a particularly meaningful connection between Fang and Starline's arcs here due to the presence of the Warp Topaz, it's just a thing for the wiki. Again, Ian's in his connect the dots mode a little more than I'd like here.
(...So wait, if Starline didn't find the Warp Topaz himself, did he track down the cave where the Heavies found it to leave that "greatness began here" graffiti? Eh, I guess that sounds like something he'd do. He's known for nothing if not his obsessiveness.)
So, again. This was a pretty good miniseries. This all makes it sound like I hated it, but I did like it overall. I particularly liked seeing the Hooligans fight the Hard-Boiled Heavies. But it leaves me feeling less fulfilled than something like Scrapnik Island or Tangle & Whisper or Imposter Syndrome. I get that, by the very definition of the word, Classic Sonic is always going to remain trapped in amber to some extent. This isn't the version of the franchise that's supposed to grow and change. That's what Modern Sonic does. Classic Sonic will always be trapped in the early '90s. I'm not asking for them to add a dozen new characters with complex dramatic arcs to the Classic comics, since that's not what Classic Sonic is about. But I think the other Classic Sonic stories not written by Ian - i.e. the driving school story by the McElroys and the two stories about Amy by Gale Galligan - show that you can tell fresh new Classic Sonic stories that aren't just about remixing the hits from the games.
If we're going to continue getting Classic Sonic comics from Ian (and I hope we do!), then I just hope he's able to find a better balance between familiar and new ideas, like he and Evan do so consistently with their Modern Sonic output.
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donelywell · 8 months
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I love your at so much!! It’s so soft! But what do you mean by ‘Hedgefox’? You mentioned it a couple of times but there’s no explanation on the page?
Thank you! And I'm glad you asked! >:D (I'm basically waiting for people to ask for this stuff, or else I'm just gonna hold it until I eventually post it way later down the line)
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The HedgeFox is this AU's equivalent of the Werehog, but since wolves are HUGE, I changed the species to a Werefox (plus Sonic and Tails being the same species is an adorable bonus).
He wasn't cursed by Dark Gaia when the world split apart, he was just born a were-being.
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(super rough idea of what the different moons do to his appearance)
I go on a super babble-fest, so there's an entire rant below the cut.
When a Super Moon (3-4 times a year) appears, Sonic's HedgeFox form increases from 56 cm to 65 cm to reflect the roughly 14% increase the moon appears to be then and becomes 'super charged' in a sense.
He becomes super paranoid and overstimulated when it's a Super Moon, thinking goes into more primal instincts, with him calling Tails his 'cub' even.
A Super Moon to a were-being in this universe is a nightmare, but it gives you plenty of time to realize what's about to happen so you can find a spot to hide (kind of to protect others, but mostly to protect yourself from the sensory overload you're about to face).
The cycle of a Full moon takes place in normally 3 nights in a row once a month.
Night 1, Transform. Day 1, Revert to normal. Night 2, Transform. Day 2, Revert to normal. Night 3, Transform. Day 3, Revert to normal until next full moon cycle.
But for a Super Moon, it goes a little differently.
Night 1, Transform. Day 1, Stay in form. Night 2, Super Moon Further Transform. Day 2, Revert to Normal Full Moon Form. Night 3, Stay in form. Day 3, Finally Revert normal until next full moon cycle.
Yep, they remain in the Full Moon form even during the day when it's a Super Moon, it saves them energy from going straight from their base form to their Super Moon form.
Their power is basically doubled on a Super Moon, but that just leads to them being incredibly paranoid that they'll harm someone they care about by accident.
During a Super Moon, Sonic cannot release Tails. He seriously tries, knowing that he's being overprotective, but his mind is too clouded with worry that he can't even begin to fight it (not really that Tails minds, it does though worry him that his dad is going through so much in his mind and all he can do to help is just be in his arms). After Knuckles joins the party, they learn that he can finally release Tails if Knuckles is nearby, but he still has to keep a sharp eye on the kit.
A Micro Moon is a lot more simple. Due to how far the moon is, they can actually choose whether or not to transform into the were-being, but it's 14% smaller and half as strong as normal.
Ehem- uh, sorry for the rambling. I really like the Werehog and well, since this is my AU, I can make it stay. >:) It probably doesn't make any sense, sorry about that.
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chimcess · 2 months
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Waterlog || pjm (5)
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Pairing: Jimin x Reader Other tags: Olympic Swimmer!Jimin, Ex Olympic Swimmer! Reader, Swim Coach!Reader Genre: Strangers to Friends to Lovers!AU, Coach!AU, Swimming!AU, HEAVY Angst, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, fluff, eventual smut, I'm so soft for these two it's crazy. Word Count: 10.8k+ Synopsis: After a car accident ends her athletic career, Y/N has slowly started rebuilding her life again as a high school swim coach. That’s until she gets a request from an old friend and finds herself back in the spotlight as the new coach of Olympic swimmer, Park Jimin. Warnings: ANGST, crying, mental health issues, talking about mental health, I'm so soft for them it's actually wild, angst, trauma, panic attacks, talks of panic attacks, talks of sex, k*ssing, I love them so much, jimin still the best boyfriend, small argument, insecurities, strong language, one bed trope, healthy relationship conversations, boundary setting, friends being friends, character has cancer, talks of character death (brief), dry humping, moaning, things are picking up A/N: I know I'm late again, but I have a lot of personal stuff going on in my life at the moment that had made writing challenging. First a breakup, then finding a new apartment, moving, and then waiting for my internet to get turned on. It's been hectic for me! But we are back. This was very lightly edited so I apologize in advance for any issues there might be. I will go through and edit this eventually, I just wanted to get it out for you guys!
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The drive to Jimin’s house was quick, the traffic not fully registering in my mind as I lost myself in thought. I had only ever been in love once before, and that had been a very different time in my life. I was no longer that same person, and the anxiety these new feelings were bringing up made me nauseous. I was not ready to say anything was certain, but I knew for a fact that I was falling hard and fast. 
The small suburb was nice with large homes. A few new modern builds stuck out like a sore thumb, but the area had still kept much of its original blue-American-suburban charm. Coming from Colorado, I was not used to seeing large front lawns or children’s toys left out after dark. Jimin was just ahead of me and I slowed down when his tail lights came on. 
The house was definitely brand new. I had never liked modern buildings, the architecture lacking the charm and personality I sought out when buying my own place in the Springs, but it suited the swimmer. It was difficult to make out much color, but I could tell it was mostly white with black accents on the front. Large windows took up a majority of the walls and a small balcony was above the front door. It was smaller than the other homes, but the yard was bigger than the rest, and a tall fence enclosed the back of the property. 
Taking a second to prepare myself for the rest of the night, I watched Jimin get out of Fiona and open up the two door garage at the front. He seemed to be in a rush, casting a few quick glances at my car as he paced back to the truck to pull it inside. I do not think he could see me looking back.
Picking up my phone, I called Hoseok.
“Everything okay?” He picked up, out of breath.
I smiled, “I’m okay. Promise.”
He had been extra worried about tonight. Out of everyone, Hoseok knew how huge this was for me. At one of our many late night parties I had told him that I could never love again, and that I never wanted to know that feeling again. If it wasn’t Namjoon then it could not be anybody. At the time he had reassured me, but as the years went on he had truly believed that I had completely closed off that part of my heart. To be so excited about someone had him cautious- even if he did poke fun at me most of the time.
“Why are you calling me then?” He asked.
“Just needed a bit of a pep talk,” I admitted, eyes still locked on Jimin’s truck. “I’m at his house. Feeling a little nervous.”
He hummed, “He seems like a good guy. Don’t think there’s anything you need to worry about. Just enjoy yourself.”
I sighed, watching the garage door close, knowing I would have to get out of the car soon. “I think I’m going insane.”
“Talk to me about it.”
Jimin stood by the garage door, looking at my car. I rolled the window down and waved, gestured to the phone, and managed a pathetic smile. He nodded, still watching me with a strange look on his face.
“I think I love him,” I mumbled, unable to look away from him.
Hoseok laughed, “You just figured that out? Baby, anyone with eyes and ears can see how you feel about the kid.”
“It’s been two seconds, Hobi. We barely know each other.”
“You don’t have to tell him anything,” My friend reasoned, voice nothing but friendly. “You’re all over the place right now, and you need to really think about how you feel. No one wants to hear someone ‘thinks’ they love them. Breathe. Relax. Enjoy yourself.”
As I steadied my breathing, I noticed Jimin’s face becoming concerned. He always knew when something was wrong, and it did not surprise me when he started walking across the front yard towards my car. 
“I have to go,” I choked out, panic bubbling in my chest with each step he took. “I don’t want him hearing us.”
“Otter-”
I hung up the phone and smoothed down my hair. My heart was running at a million miles an hour and my hands were shaking. I hated how worked up I got over nothing. Disgusted and discouraged, I forced a smile on my face and opened the car door. My phone vibrated, the sensation tickling my hand, but I chose to ignore it. Fake it till you make it, I told myself. The curve of Jimin’s mouth told me I was not fooling anyone.
“Everything okay?” He asked, coming to stand in front of me.
“Yeah,” I breathed, nodding frantically. In my panic, I did not see the curb and tripped. Jimin reached out to help steady me before I could fall. I shuttered. “Everything is fine. Hoseok just called to check in with me. Didn’t realize we were out together.”
The lie felt heavy on my tongue and Jimin’s eyebrows came together in confusion. He knew I was lying and it made the sinking in my gut all the more unbearable. Knowing I needed to get a grip, I stepped out of his arms and gestured to the house.
“Nice place,” I sounded like I had just run a marathon. “It’s very you.”
Jimin was quiet. Still trying to avoid talking about my odd behavior, I began rambling on and on about how much I liked the landscaping. The large bushes that surrounded the small front porch were a nice pop of color for the otherwise neutral paint job.
“Is that a gnome wearing a swimming ring?” I asked, squinting trying to make out the little figure in the darkness. “That’s so cute. Did your mom buy you that? I-”
“Y/N.”
My mouth clamped shut.
“What’s wrong?” Jimin asked, reaching out to caress my shoulder. “You’re not acting like yourself.”
I sighed, finally done hiding my very apparent discomfort. “Just really nervous about how I’m feeling.”
“Tell me about it?”
I looked at him and nodded, “Can we go inside? It’s really cold.”
“Of course, angel.”
The pet name made me short circuit long enough to get inside without saying another word. Were we on that level now? Would it be okay for me to start calling him sweet little names like that? Would he want me to? What would I even call the guy? Nothing seemed good enough. No words could ever be good enough to express everything that he was becoming to me. 
“I can take your coat,” Jimin murmured in my ears, hands already helping me shrug out of the dark wool coat. “Shoes go on that little shelf over there.”
“Thank you,” I absentmindedly replied, still dazed. 
What about babe? No, too conventional. Sweetheart? No, that was Joon’s thing. Honey? We are definitely not beating the old woman allegations with that one. That also rules out darling and sweetie. He’d never let me live that down.
“Feeling a bit better now?” He asked, hand on the small of my back as he led me further into the house. “You’re not shaking anymore.”
I had not realized how off course my thoughts had gotten. I got so swept up in him that everything else just faded away. Pleased, I smiled and nodded.
He chuckled, “Where did your mind go this time, angel girl?”
I giggled, giddy that we were keeping up the terms of endearment. 
“You.”
“Me?”
“Yeah, you,” I leaned into his touch, melting in his arms as we walked. He finally wrapped me up completely, pressing me into his side with his hand on my hip. “I like it when you call me that.”
Jimin hummed, “What? Angel?”
I nodded, putting my head on his shoulder. It was a bit awkward but I dealt with the discomfort. I enjoyed being this close to him. Knowing that he seemed just as eager to be here with me was a bonus. 
“What do you think of the place?” He asked.
Blinking, I tried to disguise the fact that I had not been paying attention to a single thing since we walked inside. Letting my eyes wonder, I almost laughed at how accurate Jimin’s description of his house was. 
Standing in his living room, I marveled at how dark everything was. Black leather sofas, a dark gray fluffy rug, a flat screen, and a black iron fireplace were the stand out pieces. There were a few family photos on the mantle and a fake potted plant beside it, but other than that it was completely barren. It was just as sad and depressing as he said it would be, but instead of feeling disappointed it only made me smile. Everything in here was his and now I was included in that. 
“I love it.”
He laughed, squeezing me impossibly closer, “You don’t have to lie. I know it’s the quintessential bachelor pad.”
“I’m not lying,” I argued. “It’s perfect. Very you.”
“Even the dusty, ugly, fake Der Rose Jungkook got me as a housewarming gift?”
“Especially that,” I joked.
“Okay clown,” He laughed, pulling away from my side. “Go sit on the couch and I’ll make us some hot chocolate. Need to warm you up.”
Giving me the remote for the very large television hanging above the fireplace, Jimin promised to be back soon and left me in charge of finding something good to watch. After flicking through a few channels, I ended up settling on 21 Jump Street and ogled at Johnny Depp and Holly Robinson Peete. My dad and I used to watch the show together when I was young, and it brought me back to the few happy times that we had. I really needed to call him.
“Damn that’s a handsome man.”
I jumped, “Jesus you scared me.”
Jimin laughed, setting down two mugs on his coffee table. They were steaming hot and I decided to leave mine to cool off for a few seconds. Taking his seat next to me, Jimin was quick to throw his arm around my shoulders and pull his legs up onto the sofa. 
“Get comfortable,” He said, crossing his legs. “It’s just me.”
“Yeah,” I snorted, curling my legs up next to me and placing my head on his shoulder. “That’s the problem.”
“You’re being extra flirty tonight,” He teased. “I like it.”
I chose to stay quiet and watch the show. This was one of my favorite episodes. Hanson, Hoff, and Loki go undercover to try and solve a string of drive-by shootings between a couple of gangs, and Booker is trying to investigate a dirty cop on the force. I always loved the scenes between Johnny Depp and Holly the most. They were so cute together and the chemistry was crazy even though their characters never ended up together.
Jimin started playing with my hair, his fingers gently caressing my neck before scratching my scalp. It felt amazing and I relaxed even further into his side. After that episode was over, he leaned down and put his head on top of mine. Another episode came on, this was the second part to the previous, and I let my eyes close. This was really nice. And to think I almost let it all go to shit because I could not keep myself from spiraling.
“I’m sorry about earlier,” I mumbled.
“Don’t be,” He whispered back, placing a small kiss on the top of my head. “Never apologize for being upset.”
Taking a deep breath, I thought about what Hoseok had said. There was no reason to tell him anything right now, or at least, the “L” word did not need to come into conversation. Still, it felt wrong to keep him in the dark. Jimin was always willing to listen and I felt awful for lying to him earlier.
“I really like you and sometimes it scares me,” I admitted quietly. “I called Hoseok to see if he had any advice. Sorry I lied about that.”
He shook his head, “I’m not upset with you, angel. Sometimes they scare me, too.”
“Really?” I had never really thought about that before.
“Of course,” He chuckled, moving away to look down at me. I lifted my head in a rare act of bravery. “I don’t think you understand just how amazing you are.”
I smiled lazily, unable to look away from him. He looked so beautiful in this lighting. The tv on one side of his face, the darkness in the rest of the house casting a dark shadow on the rest of it. I noticed his head inching closer, eyes heavily lidded as he watched me, waiting for a reaction. Heart pounding, I did the only thing I could think of. I closed my eyes and tilted my head higher.
“You smell so good,” He murmured, lips brushing mine. “God, you’re so pretty.”
I opened my mouth to respond but was unable to get anything out before his lips were pressed against it. I breathed out through my nose and allowed myself to just enjoy it. His lips were so soft and plump, his upper lip just barely scratching my skin with peach fuzz, and chin ever so gently bumping against mine as we came together. 
My skin was on fire as he invaded every cell in my body until all I could think about was him. His hand gripped the back of my neck and pressed us together roughly, his tongue licking against my bottom lip asking to be let inside. There was nothing he couldn’t ask for now. I mewled embarrassingly when our tongues twisted together. Jimin groaned in response. 
“Is this okay?” He rasped when we pulled apart for air.
I replied by taking his face in my hands and pulling him back in for more. Jimin responded eagerly, gripping my neck tighter and holding me close. I hummed in satisfaction, leaning into his chest. His skin was on fire beneath me and I briefly wondered if his chest got as pink as his cheeks did.
Jimin broke away, dragging my body closer until I was practically laying on his lap, before guiding my mouth back to his. My lips were numb, swollen, and still begging for more. The show was long forgotten, the noise also like static in the background as I suckled on his bottom lip. Jimin whined, fingers twisting into my hair as he held me in place.
“Feeling okay?” He mumbled into my mouth, taking a second to catch his breath.
“Great,” I slurred, before shutting him up again.
I lost track of time as we sat there entangled in one another. Lips hardly able to feel anything anymore, I broke away and tried to calm my racing heart. Jimin took the opportunity to go for my neck, his plush lips delicate against my skin. I shuttered. 
I could feel my panties sticking to my folds, slick gently wetting my thighs as he continued his gentle assault on my neck. He never sucked hard enough to leave marks behind, but after a few moments I could safely say Jimin was a fan of teeth. They scratched my skin softly, tickling me in the process, before his tongue smoothed over any redness that might have popped up. Moaning, I tilted my head back and granted him more access.
“You’re so fucking hot,” He rasped, licking a long stripe up my neck before biting my ear. “So needy.”
I chuckled, the sound breathless. “Do you want to stop?”
“Fuck no.”
I giggled, kissing his cheek, “Such a boy.”
I nodded, kissing the underside of my chin before pecking my lips.
“I’m your boy,” He smiled lazily, kissing me again.
“Yes,” I agreed, unable to stop smiling as I cradled his face between my hands. “My good-looking boy.”
With one final peck on my chin, Jimin leaned back into the sofa and dragged my body down with his. Laying on top of his body, my eyes fixated on the tv. Buffy the Vampire Slayer was playing now, and I grinned. It was one of my favorite shows to watch when I had a bad day. It was nice to have it with me at this moment. A happy memory with my comfort show in the background only sweetened the already tender moment. 
“She should have been with Spike,” Jimin’s chest rumbled underneath me.
Getting more comfortable, I nodded.
“I kind of like that she decided to stay friends with them both. Tara and Willow were the power couple anyway.”
“Not a fan of Oz?” He started playing with my hair.
“I liked them, too, but for different reasons. The only other couple that comes close to Tara and Willow were Giles and Jenny.”
We were quiet as we watched, small kisses shared during commercial breaks, and I never felt the need to try and open my mouth. Nothing needed to be said when our feelings were so apparent. Hoseok, as usual, was right. I just needed time to breathe and think about things before running head first into a love confession. And if he said anyone with eyes and ears could see how I felt, then there was no real reason for me to say anything. Jimin already knows. He always did.
“God, I’ve always loved that DeSoto Fireflite,” I gushed, eyeing Spike's car hungrily. “The ‘59 model is sexy.”
“Why do you know so much about cars?” He asked.
“My dad’s a mechanic,” I explained. “He owns his own restoration shop back in Pennsylvania and I used to go over there all of the time. I almost ditched swimming to take over the body shop when he lost an employee.”
“You never stop amazing me,” He murmured, kissing the top of my head. “Has he found anything cool recently?”
I grew quiet. Truthfully, I had no clue. It had been almost two years since we last spoke, and I doubted he was looking forward to hearing from me. He had a new family. A new life. One that did not have the space for me in it. My silence must have worried Jimin because he asked if I was okay.
“We don’t talk anymore,” I replied. “He got remarried a few years ago and his wife doesn’t like me.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah,” I sighed, “It’s juvenile, really. He seems happy though, so I don’t push it.”
“They don’t deserve you. You’re too good to be treated like that.”
I laughed, eyes prickling with unshed tears. I did not talk about this often and it felt nice to get it off of my chest. For a long time Victor had been the person I looked to as a father figure, and we still keep in touch. He always calls for holidays and birthdays, checks in randomly, and asks me how I’m doing. He stayed with me through the worst of the damage, and only left Colorado when his daughter decided to move abroad for school. Denver was too expensive to justify the expenses and his new trainee was in Florida. I missed him a lot more than I ever realized.
“I made my own family, though. Couldn’t have picked better.”
Colorado would always be home because that was where pieces of my heart lived. Jin, Andy, and Hoseok were never planning on moving. Minho would be there as long as Tilly was, and she was around for Hoseok. I had a feeling Max would change that, and the two of them may end up starting a new adventure with Minho in tow. A trouple for the ages. That made me grin.
Michigan was starting to feel like my own adventure. New bonds and ties are formed with each passing day. Going back to Colorado helped to put that in perspective. It did not matter if I was there or not, because my family was, and I would always have a place there. Ann Arbor was different.
The person I envisioned myself spending the rest of my life with lived here, his family and friends becoming like my own, and I could never ask him to leave them. When Na-Yeon died someone would need to be around for James and the kids. When Jungkook and Darcy inevitably went their separate ways, he would need a shoulder to cry on. Taehyung and his panic attacks. Milo and his work stresses. All of it meant that someone needed to be around to bring them back to themselves, and I wanted to be a part of that in any way they would allow me.
“I’m really happy that I met you,” I told Jimin, eyes not truly focusing on the show anymore. “Being here with you- I couldn’t ask for more.”
A kiss on my head, “I feel the same way, angel.”
I fell asleep like that. Jimin had to wake me up a little after one in the morning to see if I wanted to sleep at his place. I politely declined since I promised the Andersons that I would be back for breakfast tomorrow and left shortly thereafter. I barely even focused on the ride home, tired and drunk off of the high of the evening. 
Calvin was awake when I walked through the front door. A plate of cookies in front of him, he held up a finger to his lips and pointed upstairs. Violet had been strict about his diet as of late. The last time he had gone to the doctor his cholesterol levels were slightly elevated, and we had been eating very bland, not all that great food ever since. I smiled sleepily, stealing a cookie for myself as payment. We would never speak of this night again.
Finishing up my cookie, I quickly peeled out of my clothes before heading into the bathroom to do my skincare routine. Exhausted, I was barely aware of the text I sent to Jimin before I climbed into bed. I was asleep before my head ever hit the pillow.
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“You’re still not hitting your best time,” I spoke into my headset, looking at the stop watch in my hand. “We’re only at 90%. I want 92%.”
Jimin groaned, frustrated and tired. We had been at this all morning and he was not making as much progress as I hoped he would. I had prepared an 200s anaerobic training set so we could work on his endurance. For the last few weeks we were focused on speed and mastering his butterflies and turns. Now that we were feeling more comfortable training together I was moving onto those issues I had at the beginning. So far it was not going over well.
“This is bullshit,” He huffed, pulling his goggles up. “I’ve been at this for hours and haven’t done anything.”
I shook my head and fought to keep myself neutral. Training had become a bit challenging to work around given our new relationship status, but we both agreed to keep that out of our sessions. We had another date next Friday. He was refusing to tell me where we were going, the only hint being we would be going to Jungkook’s game, but the rest was a mystery. 
“You’re getting better,” I replied, holding the microphone closer to my mouth. I had woken up with a sore throat and could not speak loud enough on my own, so we were finally using my old earpiece to communicate. “You went from 88% to 90%. I think with some more drills we can get up a bit more.”
He went to put his goggles back on, but I told him to stop.
“We’re done for the day,” I said, rubbing my raw throat. “You’re getting angry and I’m losing my voice.”
He stared at me, glowering childishly, and crossed his arms across his chest. Lifting my head a little higher, I looked at him with an eyebrow raised. It was a challenge, one we both knew meant I was losing my patience. Normally he would back down at this point, tucking his tail between his legs, and going to the back to get changed. Today, it would seem, was not a normal day.
“No we’re not,” He said through gritted teeth, eyes narrowed. “I’m not where I want to be.”
“Yes. We. Are,” I made a show of emphasizing every word, tossing my clipboard onto the duffle at my feet. “Something is bothering you. If you don’t want to talk to me about it, that’s fine, but you’ve been acting like a brat all morning.” I ripped my whistle off my neck, bent down, and shoved both it and the stopwatch into the pocket of the duffle bag. Jimin was still pouting in the center of the pool. “I’m not arguing with you. I’m sick and you’re angry. Just go get dressed.”
My throat burned. I talked too much and had not given the sore skin time to rest. Rubbing my forehead, I breathed through my nose in an attempt to cool off. His attitude was really starting to piss me off.
Angry, Jimin made his way out of the pool far louder than necessary. I sighed when the locker room door slammed behind him. I got us off on the wrong foot this morning by being snippy and curt with my answers. His foul mood only made it worse. As training went on I had gotten back into the groove, my annoyance over being ill forgotten, but my bad behavior had obviously bothered him enough to keep him frustrated with me for the rest of the morning. It did not help that I never apologized. 
I took more time packing up my things today hoping that I could “bump into” Jimin before leaving. I tried to think of the right way to word my own frustrations without undermining what happened between us. I hurt his feelings, and I needed to take ownership of that. 
“Sorry for acting like an ass.”
I shouted, shocked, and nearly slipped on the wet floor. Rebalancing on the balls of my feet, I looked over to see Jimin standing at the locker room door. He was still wearing his cap but threw on a pair of shorts. 
“I thought you were taking a shower,” I rasped, all of the fire from earlier gone. 
“Me too,” He ran a hand over his face and leaned against the closed door. “Just felt wrong letting you leave like that.”
I nodded, swallowing thickly. My saliva irritated my throat more and I winced in pain. I really needed something to help with the pain. 
“It’s not just you,” I finally said, my voice cracking. “I acted like an asshole this morning and you had every right to be upset. I’m sorry I didn’t apologize, either.”
“Doesn’t mean I should have gotten all pissy,” He sighed, looking more relaxed now than he had all day. “I’ve always had a bad temper, but that’s not an excuse to talk to you like that. It wasn’t even that big of a deal.”
He was doing that thing again, the thing where he downplayed his own hurt feelings and redirected blame onto himself. Not wanting his mind to go down that rabbit hole, I walked over to him. I rarely went to this side of the room. I usually used the employee shower in the back since I felt less exposed, but Jimin never felt ashamed of his nakedness. The only reason he started putting shorts on is because he noticed how awkward I became.
“It’s okay to be mad at me,” I soothed, reaching out to take hold of his hand. “We both acted a little childishly. Don’t beat yourself up about it.”
Nodding, he leaned forward to rest his head on my shoulder. 
“I just feel bad,” He whispered into my skin. “You’re not feeling well and here I am making it worse. I’m such a dick sometimes.”
I wrapped my arms around his neck, holding him close. Despite our second date being postponed due to training and the charity event this weekend, the physical affection we showed one another only ramped up. Kissing was Jimin’s new favorite thing, and I hoped we could take it a step further this weekend. Even if he was cool with taking things slow I had come to find out that I was not. Maybe after a nice conversation we could fool around a little more.
“So am I,” My voice was almost gone. “Now, can we stop arguing and get breakfast? A hot chocolate is the only thing that’s going to make me feel better.”
He chuckled, lifting his head to look at me. He was no longer angry, eyes dancing, and I felt a surge of energy run through me. Sick or not, I would do just about anything to keep him smiling. Even if it meant doing the hardest thing imaginable: apologizing. Stepping out of my embrace, Jimin took hold of my hand and walked us back to my duffle bag. He always insisted on carrying it.
“I think a hot tea would be much better for a sore throat,” He mused, “But if it’s cocoa you want, well, who am I to stop you?”
Rolling my eyes, I leaned into his side, “Who’s paying?”
“Me,” He scoffed. “Obviously. Denny’s is way cheaper than putting gas in my truck.”
That made me laugh loudly, the pain in my throat forgotten. We had a rule between the two of us. If you didn’t buy breakfast then you were buying gas for the day. Jimin had taken extra time coming to scoop me up this morning since I woke up sick and refused to stay in bed. After a lengthy conversation about money, we both agreed that he could pay for all of our dates if I could split up other costs with him. While not happy about it, he conceded.
“And they say chivalry is dead,” I teased, rolling my eyes.
The gym was filled, always packed just before and after lunch time. The lull of the afternoon would carry over until around 6 and we had a decent sized group until closing. When Giselle opened up at 5:30 the following morning, the same group of guys were always the first ones in the door. I had spoken to them a handful of times and helped spot one of them once or twice, but that was the most of my interactions with anyone that exercised here. None of us really wanted to be bothered, and kept mostly to ourselves.
Giselle and Sam were chatting at the host stand when we walked by. Jimin was always nice enough to greet his staff, but never stuck around for too long. They were all friendly, and he was very good friends with Yoongi and Megan, but he was too focused on keeping up with his daily schedule to hang out. Despite being late to everything, Jimin was an extremely organized person and hated it when his plans were disrupted. 
“Where are you two headed?” The young woman asked, a genuine smile on her face as she glanced down at our hands. 
“Breakfast,” I answered. Giselle was easily my favorite person here, her only competition being Megan or Yoongi, and I always tried to make time for her when she was available. “Do you need something?”
She shook her head, “Not right now, but would you be okay with bringing in a case of the blue Monsters tomorrow? We just ran out and Yoongi is feeling it hard.”
I laughed and agreed. Yoongi was the resident caffeine addict on staff and would go through pot after pot of coffee during his shift. After Drew, the general manager, told him he was using too many of the Keurig cups, he had moved onto energy drinks. The Lo-Carb Monsters were his favorite, and I was not surprised to hear he was out. He bought a four pack every other day.
“I’ll DoorDash a few packs to the building right now. I owe him anyway.”
“Are you ordering from Busch’s?” Sam asked. 
I nodded, “Probably. I know they’ll have them. What’s up?”
“Can you throw in a couple of sushi rolls?” He asked, and my phone vibrated in the side pocket of my leggings. “I sent you $20. I totally forgot to pack my lunch and I’m swamped with sessions today.”
“Sure man. Spicy crab rolls?”
“You’re an angel,” Sam sighed. “Make sure you get plenty of rest. You sound like shit.”
“Thanks,” I replied sarcastically, rolling my eyes. “See you tomorrow. I think Park will be riding solo tonight.”
Jimin chuckled, “I’m planning on skipping the gym tonight, too.”
We walked out of the building, hands swinging between us. The feeling was so familiar and yet so foreign. I had not dated since Joon’s passing and was severely out of practice, but Jimin made it feel easy. 
“You? Skipping leg day? Scandalous.”
Jimin laughed, sounding like sunshine. “And let my girl sit at home sick by herself?”
That shut me up. After learning I was a sucker for pet names, Jimin had gotten into the habit of using them to get his way. Feeling my face heating up, I forced a laugh as I let go of his hand and rounded the truck. My girl. It made me feel both terrified and comforted at the same time.
My girl…Angel…Angel Girl… I couldn’t pick a favorite.
“Do you mind if I come over?” Jimin sounded less confident now. 
I had barely noticed him starting the truck. Must have zoned out again. 
“I don’t have much to do,” I admitted. “My place is pretty boring.”
“You’re there,” He shrugged. “And you have a tv. I’m sure we can think of something.”
“Okay,” I hid my smile behind my hand and started to look out of the window.
Saline was very beautiful. At this time of year, many of the trees were barren but I knew they would look gorgeous in the summer. I frowned. I was set to be back in Colorado by then if I could not make up my mind about the move.
“Don’t get quiet on me, gran-gran,” I snorted. “You don’t blink when you zone out and it’s creepy.”
“I so do,” I laughed, turning to look at the pretty boy. “You are such a liar.”
That did nothing but make him laugh. “Might want to order those drinks, by the way.”
I thanked him for the reminder and quickly made a small shopping cart. I threw in a few extras. Coconut creamer for Skye, a new box of Hot Pockets for Drew and Dominic, and a large box of cookies and chips for the rest of the staff. Before I could check out, a page popped up of previous things I had ordered before and I quickly added one of those expensive bags of cookies. Those were Megan’s favorite and she had bought me two coffees this week. 
“Do you want anything?” I asked Jimin.
“Maybe some seaweed chips?” We were turning into the Denny’s parking lot. “Thanks, angel.”
I added in a few other items. Band-aids because I knew we were running low, more tea bags, the coffee pods Yoongi liked, and a few different packets of the candy for Giselle. She had such a sweet tooth it was a miracle she only had one cavity. It took me a bit longer to find Jimin’s favorite brand of seaweed chips, and I decided to toss in a few different flavors of the spicy ramen he loves to eat as well. Finally happy with my order, I checked out and messaged Sam that I secured his lunch. He sent me the sunglasses emoji as a reply.
“Earth to Y/N.”
I jumped, blinking rapidly, and saw a thoroughly amused Jimin staring at me. We were parked, the truck was off, and his hand was already on the handle. We both laughed but did not say anything else. If Jimin could be late all of the time then I could space out whenever I wanted.
“I’m so ready for these blueberry pancakes,” Jimin threw his arm around my shoulders as we walked. “What are you getting?”
I shrugged, “Hot cocoa and an omelet, probably.”
“An omlet does sound really good,” He mumbled to himself, holding open the door for me.
“That’s why I’m getting one,” I mumbled, pausing at the door to kiss him. “I’m thinking  ham and cheese.”
Jimin smiled, caught off guard by the gesture, “Shit, if omelets get me one of those then I’ll eat eggs for the rest of my life.”
I laughed, the sound echoing in the small entrance area. This Denny’s was always busy but I could see a few empty booths in the back. Perfect.
“You think I’m playing,” He continued, wrapping an arm around my waist as he grabbed a hold of the second door. “Breakfast, lunch, and dinner if I had to.”
I rolled my eyes, “You don’t need to live off eggs to get kisses, you big baby.”
“No,” He chuckled, swooping down and stealing a kiss of his own. “But it sounded really cool.”
The hostess smiled at our little exchange and I fixed her with a deadpan stare.
“Typical.”
She laughed, “Right this way.”
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Hobi: Are you excited about the charity event?
Me: Park’s going to kill it
Hobi: Nervous about getting seen?
Me: Not at all. I doubt anyone there will recognize me anyway.
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Closing the trunk of my car, I sighed. We were on our way to the charity meet, and Jimin was running a few minutes behind. Fiona needed to go to a shop soon and Jimin was driving her like she was going to explode any second. It was frustrating as I hated being late, but it was impossible to be angry with him. We had planned on leaving the day before the meet and getting a hotel room so we could both be as well rested as possible. 
To say I was nervous about sharing a room for the night was an understatement. Jimin had gotten a suite with two beds so I would feel more comfortable (his words, not mine), but the added security of separation did little to calm my racing thoughts. I was not planning on having sex this weekend, Jimin needed to keep his energy for the meet, but I would be lying if I said the thought had not crossed my mind more than once.
“Are you okay?”
Snapping out of my trance, I turned to find the man of the hour stood next to me. There was a large duffle bag around his shoulders, and his oversized hoodie only made him look even smaller. Smiling, he kissed my cheek in greeting. 
“Fine,” I breathed, smiling back. “Almost ready?”
Jimin nodded, “Just need to put this bag in the back. You didn’t forget any of your meds, right?”
He had been spending most of his time at my house recently and was well acquainted with my large pill collection. At first he had been concerned as to why I turned down taking medication for my illness back on Monday, but stopped questioning it so much when I told him about the other four pills I take daily. I always avoided taking extra stuff if I could.
“They’re in my suitcase.”
We were going to be in Allendale until Sunday. The meet was on Saturday, and while it was only a little over 2 hours away, I was positive Jimin was going to be exhausted after we were finished. This was an event super close to his heart and he had told me how nervous he felt about attending. Spending two nights seemed like a simple solution to deal with both of our anxieties, and even more so when I brought up my fears of being recognized and harassed. Jimin turned red with anger when I told him about my previous experiences with the news and promised he would never let that happen to me again. 
“I guess we should stop by my mom’s house on the way out,” He mused. “I know she wanted to come but she’s been really sick.”
Na-Yeon’s avoidance of treatment was finally beginning to take its toll on her physical health. I had hardly seen her at all since I came back from Colorado, and from what Jimin tells me she’s done nothing but throw up and sleep. James had told me that she was trying to stay alive long enough to see Jimin win an Olympic medal, but he wasn’t sure if that was going to be possible. I was hoping to speak with her myself and see if there was any way I could convince her to start her chemo back up again. It was killing Jimin to see his mother this way.
“I was thinking,” I handed my keys over to Jimin. “Maybe your mom and I could have a little girl’s day when we get back.”
“Why?” He chuckled, 
I shrugged. Trying to come off as nonchalant was better than honesty. I was not sure how Jimin would take my intrusion, but I still wanted to try it anyway. I loved Na-Yeon, and hoped that I could talk her out of her decision. There had been a time when I would have let myself die, too, but I was fortunate enough to have Andy fighting for me. I probably would have never walked again had it not been for her and Hoseok.
“Just want to be closer to her,” It was not a lie. I was dating her son and I wanted us to be like mother and daughter the same way I had been with Namjoon’s family. “She’s been looking a little down lately. Maybe getting out of the house a little might cheer her up.”
Jimin grinned at me, his expression soft. Leaning forward, he kissed my forehead. My chest warmed. He was always touching me as though I was made of glass.
“Have I ever told you how amazing you are?” He asked.
“Once or twice,” I replied, a giggling bubbling up my throat. “We should get going. Traffic is going to start piling up soon.”
Piling into the car, I relaxed into the passenger seat and took a hold of Jimin’s hand. He chuckled, pulled away to put the car into drive, and placed his hand on my thigh. I could feel a light layer of sweat on his palms. I put my hand on top of his.
“Are you sure you’re okay driving?” I asked him, tightening my grip.
“Yeah, angel,” He replied, smiling over at me. “I’m good. I like driving.”
“Still,” I argued, “You’re going to be swimming all day tomorrow. I feel bad making you drive, too.”
“Don’t,” He lifted my hand and kissed the back of it. His eyes never left the road. “I’m happy you’re here with me. All that other shit is just details.”
That shut me up. We drove in silence for the few minutes that it took to get to his parent’s house. I decided to stay in the car while he went to say goodbye. Jimin deserved some alone time with his folks, and I had sent a text to his mother this morning promising to send her a video of him swimming. All she cared about was making sure she could have a phone call with him when everything was over with. Na-Yeon missed watching him swim more than anything and it broke her heart that she was too ill to come with us today.
James waved at me from the front door and I returned the gesture with a huge smile. He had been so excited to see me after finding out about Jimin and I. James was extremely supportive and had already started to call me his daughter. I had yet to return the favor, but secretly loved it. Jimin would get so embarrassed, he’d turn red and scold his dad in Korean. Na-Yeon would watch them silently, but send me a smile and a wink when she thought no one was looking. Wedding bells were already sounding off in their heads.
I thought it would bother me more than it did. Instead, I felt calmed by their excitement. I had been really worried about the age gap between the two of us, but having our family and friends be so accepting had taken that weight off of my shoulders. 
Ne-Yeon’s little head poked out from behind her husband’s shoulder. She looked worn and had bags under her eyes, but her smile was just as big and beautiful as it always had been. Touched that she had thought to come and greet me, I got out of the car.
“What are you doing out of bed?” I teased, wrapping my arms around the frail woman.
She returned my hug with full force. It was concerning that her squeezes felt feather light. I hoped she was eating enough.
“Bodybuilding,” She joked, her voice lacking the usual spunk it carried. When I went to let go, she held me tighter. “Take care of him.”
I nodded, “I will.”
Jimin and I left a few minutes later. Na-Yeon was hanging off of him for as long as she could, her little arm wrapped around his waist as the four of us stood in their doorway. James and I never made physical contact, but Jimin always swore his dad preferred me to him. The older man was always smiling at me, his eyes sparkling brightly, and his mouth moving so quickly at times it was difficult to understand what he was saying. Today was one of those days and I struggled to pay attention to anything else.
“Dad,” Jimin interrupted Jame’s latest fishing story. “We have to go.”
James deflated.
“When you come back?” He asked me. 
“Sunday,” I replied. “We should be back for dinner.”
He smiled again, “I make daegusal-jorim for you. It’s spicy.”
I grinned. If I remember right, that was some sort of cod dish. James was always making some type of seafood since he was fishing constantly. Na-Yeon often complained about never eating any other meat. Jimin and I were always happy to indulge ourselves in his father’s cooking.
“I’m cooking,” Ne-Yeon said.
I looked at her, “Really?”
The last time I had eaten her food was Jimin’s birthday back in October. She made a huge pot of kimchi stew since it was her son’s favorite, and I remembered it being delicious. Sometimes Jimin would talk about all of his favorite foods he grew up eating, and 9 times out of 10 it would be something his mother had made him. Apparently, according to Jimin, his father could only cook fish. Na-Yeon, however, could make magic out of nothing. 
“Yes,” She insisted. “Need to celebrate my baby.”
Jimin flushed, his mother’s fingers pinching at his fat cheeks. “Mom.”
“I’ll try to get us back early enough to help you out,” I offered, checking my watch. “We really do need to go, though. Trying to beat the traffic.”
With a few hugs and a couple of kisses on the cheek, Jimin and I left. I had finally grown used to Jimin playing the radio while he drove, and I enjoyed watching him as he sang along. Catching my eye, Jimin grinned widely and serenaded me. He had a pretty voice, soft and sweet, and I felt my heart jump into my throat.
It was shocking just how comfortable I was in this car with him. Instead of staring out the window, watching the roads like a hawk, I was laughing and enjoying his presence. With the radio blasting, I opened my mouth and sang back. Jimin’s eyes widening, his voice growing more confident as he took my hand in his.
“With a taste of your lips I’m on a ride,” He giggled, squeezing my fingers.
“You're toxic,” I wiggled my eyebrows. “I’m slippin’ under.”
“With a taste of a poison paradise,” I leaned over and kissed his shoulder. “I’m addicted to you. Don’t you know that you’re toxic?”
Satisfied with myself, I leaned back in my seat and watched him sing. My actions only emboldened his own, and soon Jimin was singing his heart out in the driver's seat. His hand on my thigh moved closer and closer to my core only to slide back down when he realized what he was doing. Each time I laughed it off, but inside I was yearning for him to do more. Not in the car, I might have a real panic attack then, but possibly when we were in the safety of our hotel room.
The drive was quicker than normal. We had beaten the traffic by an hour and our impromptu karaoke session in the car made the time fly. The sun was just beginning to set as we pulled up at the hotel and Jimin was practically skipping inside. Making him happy was something I took great pride in, and my little performance in the car had made him radiant.
My chest puffed out when I caught the front desk receptionist eyed him hungrily. Her pretty eyes were unable to stop staring at the beautiful boy beside me. Hand in hand, we took our key card and made our way to the elevator.
When the doors shut, Jimin pulled me into his arms. I sighed in relief. He smelled so good, his chest warm and hard, and I could smell the faint hint of his after shave. It didn’t matter if we won or lost this event. Nothing was going to destroy the high I was on.
“I’m nervous,” Jimin mumbled, letting me go when the elevator dinged. “I know a few of the guys I’ll be swimming with tomorrow. They’re all really good.”
I nodded, “You’re better.”
“How do you know that?” I had never heard him sound so unsure of himself before. “I haven’t been competing like I normally do this season.”
“Because you’re Jimin Park,” I replied easily, the confidence in my tone unmistakable. “And I’m Y/N Y/L/N. We’ve both put in a lot of work and time into this, and you’re going to be great.”
“But-”
I shushed him. Taking the keycard from his hand, I swiped the card through the reader and opened the door. Behind me, Jimin breathed through his nose. It was a loud, defeated sound. Stepping into the room, I gestured for Jimin to walk inside and closed the door behind us.
It was a standard hotel room. A large queen sized bed was in the middle, a small love seat beside it, and a mini fridge beside the large flat screen hanging on the wall. The air was stale, like no one had been in here in a while, and I could faintly see fading stains on some kind in the dark carpet. I bit my lip. Maybe I should have gotten the nicer place Taehyung had suggested.
“5 Stars?” Jimin dead-panned, the little smirk on his face telling me he was joking.
I sauntered closer to him, hands resting on his chest, “Of course. Only the best for an Olympian.”
He sighed, wrapping his arms around my waist, “Thank you angel.”
Still feeling high off of his presence, I kissed his cheek.
“I was talking about me.”
“Yeah?” He mumbled, lips brushing my own. “You think you’re funny?”
I nodded, dazed, “Hilarious.”
“Ass,” He breathed, before finally kissing me properly. “Anyone ever tell you that you talk too much?” Another kiss. Then another. Then another. “It’s distracting.”
“What should we do about that?” I choked out, chasing after his retreating face. “Where are you going?”
He giggled cheekily, eyes glittering mischievously. 
“We need to eat, don’t we?”
I rolled my eyes and huffed, grabbing the back of his neck with my hand. “Fuck the food.”
He pulled away again, his face far more serious now. All of the playful lust flowing through my vein was stopped dead in its tracks leaving a chill in its wake. Fearful I had been too forward, I immediately took a step back and shied away from him like I had been burned. Jimin noticed this and shook his head, reaching out to grab my hand. I let him.
“I want to,” He told me. “I’m just not ready for that yet, and I think you deserve better than some nasty motel in Allendale.”
I nodded, my understanding of his fears doing little to dull the sting of his rejection. I knew it was not a real rejection, he had just asked for more time, but my heart ached with the memory of him moving away from me. It made me feel disgusted. Still, I forced a smile onto my face and nodded. I hoped he could tell I was okay with his request. It was only the hurt feelings that made me want to run away and hide.
“I get it,” Even I could hear the sickeningly-sweet edge my voice had taken on and hated it. I was so bad at this shit. “We can take our time. Whatever you want.”
Jimin frowned but chose not to say anything. Pulling back from him, I wandered to the tv and picked up the remote. A home renovation show was on and I knew I would not be paying enough attention to the tv to care how awful the acting was. 
“What’s for lunch?” I asked absentmindedly, trying to come across more relaxed than I felt. “I saw a pizza place on the way in if you’re feeling it.”
Silence.
“Maybe something less greasy,” I mused, already feeling myself growing panicked. “Milo said there’s a really good Italian place not too far from here-”
“Baby.”
I stopped talking and looked at the pretty boy standing across the room. He looked so sad and it broke my heart. I hated it when he didn't smile. I hated it even more when it was my fault.
“Talk to me,” He urged, coming to stand beside me. He made no moves to touch me for which I was grateful. “I know you’re upset about something.”
I shrugged, “I take rejection about as well as anybody else, and I don’t want you to feel bad about it so I’m moving on. I know we’re both hungry so I’m trying to figure out food. I’m sorry if I’m being weird again.”
He nodded, smiling sadly. “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings.”
I reached out to hug him. Jimin was happy to take me into his arms. I loved how safe and secure I felt in his presence. I was slightly taller than he was, my body made for swimming, but he never seemed to mind. Leaning down, I tucked my head underneath his chin and closed my eyes. Breathe, I told myself.
“You didn’t mean to,” I replied. “I’m sorry if I made you feel pressured or rushed into anything.”
He chuckled, “I want to have sex with you. Just not right now. Not tonight.”
I closed my eyes, “Later?”
That made him laugh. I grinned in response. My foul mood left with a kiss to the top of my head. We were fine. There was no reason to get insecure. We were fine. Jimin liked me. I liked him. That’s all that matters.
I adjusted myself and leaned my head on his. Jimin buried his face into my neck and left a few gentle kisses on the sensitive skin. I whined in response, curling into him. Jimin groaned, the sound strained. I felt it in my core.
“Definitely,” He rasped, giving my neck another kiss. “We need to stop before I change my mind.”
I giggled, pulling away from him. If he wanted space and time then I would give that to him, even if it meant making the both of us a little uncomfortable for the next two days. With the awkward moment behind us, we started planning out dinner and I was confident in our chances at winning tomorrow. Even though it was a charity event, we were both excited about the donation money going to the hospital where his mother received treatment. Jimin especially.
After our late lunch (we decided on pizza), we came back to the hotel. I was adamant that Jimin take the day off from swimming to preserve his energy for tomorrow. His old coach (asshole) had always forced him to swim at every possible moment, and would become angry and condescending when Jimin asked for time off. I swore the next time I saw Hamilton I’d give him a piece of my mind, but knew that I would ultimately leave him be. The guy was a slimeball and didn’t deserve my time and energy.
Crawling into bed that night, we talked for a few hours while a crime tv show played. Jimin enjoyed pillowtalk and I just enjoyed his company too much to tell him to stop talking. Once it was around ten, his eyes closed in the middle of a sentence and light snores followed soon after. That was another thing he was good at- falling asleep wherever and whenever.
I got out of bed a few minutes later, my mind too busy to go to sleep. As quietly as I could, I walked out of the hotel room. Jimin did not move an inch. 
Hoseok picked up after the third ring.
“Do you know what time it is?” He answered, fake anger in his voice.
“Yeah, 10,” I rolled my eyes. “Way before your bedtime. Are you free?”
Hoseok hummed, “Yeah. What’s up?”
I groaned, embarrassment creeping up my spine. I would have preferred to talk to Andy about this, but I knew she was working tonight and would not be free. Tilly was an absolute no go, and I did not feel comfortable enough with anybody in Saline to call them this late to talk about my dry sex life. They were all Jimin’s friends first anyway.
“Jimin says he’s not ready for sex and I’m trying not to overthink it. I need your advice, oh wise one.”
Hoseok laughed, “Dude, I can’t help you. My girl is the same way.”
Shocked, I tried to remember if I had ever heard about this mystery girl before. Then, it hit me. Andy had mentioned something about a blonde girl. She must be serious for Hoseok to casually bring her up in conversation. I wonder how long he’d been hiding her from the rest of us.
“Your girl, huh? And who might that be?”
Hoseok sighed, “I know it sounds crazy, but she’s a swimmer.”
Racking my brain, I tried to think of every blonde swimmer I knew of. MacKenzie Boyd was way too young, Rhonda Yara lived in Florida most of the year, and Brittney Powell was just not Hoseok’s type. That left Opal Simmons and Tove Alfson. They both lived in Colorado, both were fantastic swimmers, and both seemed like nice girls. Opal was the older of the two, so I was more inclined to believe that was who he was talking about, but this was all under the assumption that the girl was a professional swimmer.
“Do you remember Opal Simmons?”
I snorted. So I was right. Feeling good about myself, I nodded and told him that I did. She was pretty, but I remembered thinking she was unremarkable. She had been doing extremely well this season and swimming more than she ever had before. I had a good feeling about her run at this year’s Olympics. She had always swam in teams and this was her first time doing a solo season.
“How’d you meet her?” I asked, leaning against the metal railing across from the door.
“I went to go see Ozzie and she stopped by to talk to him for a few minutes. She took one look at me, smiled, and gave me her number. And you know I’m a sucker for a confident woman.”
“So you took her to the most expensive bar in Colorado Springs?” I joked.
Hoseok spluttered, “How’d you know about that?”
“Well international super spy,” I teased, “You blew your cover. Jin saw you and told Andy. Andy told me. I didn’t tell anybody.”
The swimmer groaned and I could not help but laugh at his expense. We were always like this. Teasing and joking around with one another. A few tender moments sprinkled in between. I remembered when people thought we were a couple simply because we were friends of the opposite sex, but I had never felt anything but sisterly love for the guy. We were always there for each other through thick and thin, and right now I was grateful for his crude sense of humor. Hoseok rarely took things seriously and I needed a bit of fun. It made my anxiety feel less scary.
“We had fun,” He defended. “She’s fucking awesome, man. You’re really going to like her. Next time you’re in town, bring your boy so we can go on a double date.”
“Will do.”
We had a momentary pause. That meant Hoseok was thinking. He tried to choose his words carefully when he was being serious, so I knew that meant we were going to actually start talking about the reason I called. He was far more easy going than I was, so I was sure Opal’s timidness did not bother him at all. I was the spaz of the group only being outdone by Andrea.
“Did he say why?” Hoseok finally asked.
I told him about what had happened this afternoon and the small moments before. The way he always stopped things before they could get any further. How kissing him sometimes felt like he was saying goodbye. How genuinely upset he was by my reaction to his constant pausing. Hoseok listened to everything before saying another word.
“Maybe he’s had something happen to him in the past,” Hoseok brought up. That was something I had not really considered before. “He just sounds a little scared and nervous. Not unwilling, just hesitant. You should talk to him about it. I mean really talk to him. That’s what I did with Opal and it made going at her pace seem less daunting.”
“So you don’t think I’m doing anything wrong?” I finally asked, voicing my fears from earlier. I could not tell Jimin that’s what I was afraid of, it felt too childish, but Hoseok was used to my ever present anxieties. “I really didn’t mean to invalidate him.”
Hoseok chuckled, “I think you’re doing just fine, babe. You just need to learn how to relax and let shit happen. He likes you. He told you he wants to have sex with you directly. Don’t let yourself ruin this, okay?”
I nodded, feeling a frog forming in my throat. It felt wrong to cry right now, but it was the most therapeutic way to handle how frustrated I was with myself. I was too old to act like this. Too strong and independent. This really should not hurt me the way that it does, and yet I could feel myself closing off again.
The door behind me opened and I startled, almost dropping my phone. Whipping around I saw Jimin standing there, no shirt and a pair of sweatpants hanging loosely around his hips. Dark hair a wild mess, he rubbed his eyes and tried his best to look more awake than he felt. My heart melted, some of the stress I felt moments before lessening. He was here. We were fine. I was just being overdramatic. I just needed to breathe.
“I have to get some sleep,” I told Hoseok, eyes never leaving Jimin’s body. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“Talk to you then,” I hung up.
Jimin’s eyes searched my face and I could feel a few escaped tears on my cheeks. I felt small under his watchful gaze, but the gentleness in his eyes never wavered. I stood there stupidly, unable to move.
“Come back to bed,” His voice was soft. “I miss you.”
And because he made me behave like a good little lap dog, I crawled into that bed without protest. Pulling me into his arms, Jimin held me close and tight. I relaxed and let his body heat warm me up. I had not realized how cold I had gotten and shivered. Jimin kissed my nose and got comfortable.
“Don’t leave me,” He rasped, already falling back asleep. “Please?”
I almost cried again. He sounded so lost and defeated. Maybe Hoseok was right. Maybe something happened to him that made sex feel terrifying. What it could be I had no idea, but I hoped that with time he could help me understand. As desperately I wanted him to know me- I wanted to know him.
“I promise I won’t,” I whispered, kissing his chest.
His arms squeezed me gently before there was nothing but snores and the sound of the A/C in the room.
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Taglist: @ownthesunshine @screamertannie @lovelytaes-blog @pernesianparapio @tae-with-some-suga @sumzysworld @chimmisbae
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© chimcess, 2024. Do not copy or repost without permission.
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sister-cna-reader · 3 months
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Dan the Cat
“Well that could’ve gone better.” Jazz huffed, shaking the magic powder from her over sized leather jacket. Jason covered his mouth and his shoulders shook with stifled laughter.
“Babe.”
“What?” Jazz snapped at her boyfriend, not keen on yet another “Bat Family contingency that everyone and their dog would know”
White teeth gleamed in mirth as he gestured to the pair of cats on the cafe floor. “Were your siblings cat people?”
The void cat, all fluffy black with luminous green eyes meowed indignantly, it’s tail swishing in irritation. A smaller one, black with white socks and the same ectoplasmic green eyes attempted to claw her way up Jazz’s jeans.
Danny and Danielle were all accounted for, but they were one alternate self short.
“Sonofabit-”,
Dan shook himself free of the magic powder and took stock of himself. He had paws for hands and an extremely fluffy body that seemed to be more fluid then solid. He could still float, standing on air like it was solid.
Fuck “Meow.”
Great, just fabulous.. he was a cat.
He sat, then curious with his body, and leaned forward into a loaf, tucking his paws underneath his chest.
Ooooohhhh
Comfy.
Some time later, with no family in sight he wandered around the neighborhood, calling for Danny or Ellie or his sister.
~~
“Oohh pspsps. Hello pretty kitty,” Catwoman called from a rooftop when she caught sight of the glowing white cat. It walked on air, lime green toe beans barely visible under all of the ethereal white fur.
Like a ghost or living flame, the white cat meandered it’s way up to her, proud red eyes watching her every move.
“What’s a pretty kitty like you doing in a place like this?” she asked the creature, extending a hand out for the cat to greet.
Like a feared prince, it sat just out of her reach, long flame tail wrapping around it’s body. It’s gravelly prolonged cry caught her interest just as she registered the black collar obscured by the majestic mane.
“Who do you belong to handsome boy?”
Another, shorter rumble and an adjustment of feet.
“I might be able to hear you properly if you came a little closer.” Selena offered.
The tail curled in thought, and after a beat, the cat stood and came up to her leg, watching her.
“Where’s home baby?” she purred, raking cautious nails over the flame white fur.
Orange hair, tall woman, friendly smile, works at a computer a lot….
The proud cat was not fluent in cat speak, but knew enough to get his point across.
“Very well. I think I know where you go.”
~~
Barbara Gordon did not expect to adopt a cat. Neither did she expect to be a cat’s chosen human, but that’s what Catwoman had insisted at her bedroom window, the strangely handsome cat slipping in the cracked window opening like smoke.
“I don’t have a litter box.” She told the cat, running a hand down the plush white coat. “You certainly aren’t starving.”
The large cat was purring up a storm, quickly making himself at home on her blanketed lap. Barbara ran a finger along the slim black collar, finding a small tag with her nail.
“Dan, huh?”
A red eye opened and Dan the Cat licked a paw. Of course, what other name would I have? He seemed to say.
The sun was coming up, and this cat wasn’t a threat or an emergency to solve. He was actually quite the charming floof ball, despite his weight. So Barbara laid back down in her bed, content to leave the mystery for future her to solve.
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Note
*Not posting this unanimously because idc for this one*
Probably not necessarily and/or technically a confession, but-
Since I get too negatively overwhelmed when thinking about making a post that isn’t a reblog, I hope you all don’t mind me putting this here:
Kestrel apologists and/or (over-)sympathizers be like:
“Kestrel isn’t that bad.”
“Kestrel deserved a redemption!”
KESTREL, the dragon they’re apparently talking about:
(Please take all of the time that you need to read and soak in the content within these photos, because…yeah- there’s a LOT of them.)
TW: Child Abuse, Racism, some Ableism.
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*Please note that Kestrel does NOT know that Sunny is a hybrid - no one underneath the mountain did - so Kestrel believes that Sunny is FULLY a SandWing
So Kestrel viewing Sunny as ‘defective’ due to her being much smaller than the average dragon AND Sunny NOT being born with a part of her limb (a.k.a, a barbed tail) is, indeed, ABLEISM on Kestrel’s part.
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Kestrel physically and verbally abused the DoD since they were the age of toddlers. She physically burned and beated them, verbally insulted and degraded them. She’s a racist, viewing RainWings as “wretched creatures” instead of actual dragons, and (strongly) believing in the stereotypes that ALL RainWings are “lazy” and “stupid”. She even ableist as well, viewing Sunny as “defective”, due to Sunny being smaller than the average dragon and NOT being born with a certain part of her body.
Stating that Kestrel isn’t “that bad” SERIOUSLY undermines what’s she’s done to the DoD and how AWFUL of a dragon she is, which is shown within ALL of the images above.
And stating that Kestrel deserves a redemption - despite literally EVERYTHING awful that she does and states within these images - does NOT make sense for Kestrel writing wise and character wise. ESPECIALLY since Kestrel isn’t shown to have ANY remorse, regret, and even doubt about what’s she has done to the DoD.
And NO, grieving and having trauma does NOT excuse and justify WILLINGLY physically and/or verbally ABUSING literal CHILDREN, REGARDLESS of what someone has been through AT ALL, what-so-ever.
Whether it’s intentional and even unintentional, excusing and justifying literal physical and verbal abuse towards others - even if the abuser is grieving and/or traumatized - is ABUSE APOLOGISM.
And while trauma and/or grieve may (possibly) explain someone’s abuse towards others, it does NOT excuse or justifies it in any way at ALL, what-so-ever.
Kestrel is an awful dragon within The Dragonet Prophecy through and through, and I’ll probably will stay on that hill for the entirety of my life.
.
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bonefall · 15 days
Note
Do you know what the other animals that were trapped in cages are? I think there's a zebra, gray wolf and honey badger but I'm not sure
I caught five unique animals in the passage, lemmie share all of my guesses;
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Easy; giraffe! Though I wouldn't really describe them as "yellow," WC has a habit of "cartoonifying" certain popular animals so this is definitely a giraffe (such as the tongue-slinging frogs in ShadowClan, real frogs do not have chameleon tongues)
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The next one, the zebra, is also pretty apparent;
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For those who didn't know, zebras are smaller than domestic horses! That's correct!
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The one that stumps me the most is definitely this "weaselbadger" animal, but I'm fairly certain it's a honey badger yeah.
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As opposed to a European badger like the cats are used to, a honey badger would look a lot thinner and more "weasel-like." They also have a solid white stripe that separates their black bottoms from their ticked top-fur, and I can't think of any other animal that has a separated fur color in that way.
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There's also a very large snake of some kind, "coiled" around a branch. So, something arboreal.
While it's definitely a constricting snake, there isn't enough description about its color or behavior to tell if it's a boa or a python, nor what species it is. Since the largest reptile Ivypool naturally encounters would be adders, I also can't say if the "snake bigger than she could ever imagine" is actually that big.
If I'm making a shot in the dark though, the "small eyes" would make me guess it's a particularly old reticulated python. They're also common pet snakes, so it wouldn't be out of place at a skeevy ""Animal Sanctuary"" like this book is portraying.
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(SIDE NOTE; I am satisfied with the portrayal of this particular zoo, which is clearly in someone's backyard and made from ramshackle planks and chainlink. I stand firmly against broad, untargeted "zoo slander" but I think the team did a good job in portraying this place as some crank's private collection.)
This next one, the "furry dog," is described with shaggy fur around its neck and shoulders, and then explicitly called gray when it attacks the human. Simple; that is a gray wolf.
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While it's definitely a wolf, I'd need to see them describe the howl to tell you if it's Eurasian or American. American wolves lean harder on the first syllable and the call is more "shouty", while Eurasian wolves have a longer, more "melodious" songlike howl.
As for the "mane," that's a trait wolves can have. Some have larger neck ruffs than others-- usually influenced by climate. I don't know enough about wolves to tell you if that's purely genetic, or if it's influenced by the fact this individual lives in a place where it needs to develop a particularly thick winter coat.
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(Also, funfact; the extinct British wolf was actually one of the largest gray wolf subspecies ever known. RIP British wolves)
And, lastly, of course, is the Scottish Wildcat.
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Exactly as the book goes on to describe, they have blunt, bushy tails, green eyes, and tabby coats. They look like very large domestic cats!
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spiceywawa · 15 days
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@boolger <-
I couldn't help myself and had to try doing this shite again and write my little idea inspired heavily? by their fic.
Kitty♡
Current -> Next
John price moved from the city and bought a farm with all the works. Cows, pigs, chickens, etc. He previously considered getting a hybrid kitten along his other hybrids but never did due to living deep in the city with not a lot of room. After his abrupt retirement, John decided why not to help make the farming/food industry just a little better.
He decided to start his farm, and funny enough, the farm came with its own kitty hybrid. A beautiful stone Grey short haired kitty that took care of rodents and smaller predators. Kitty would laze wherever they pleased and previously had the freedom to come and go around the property and house as they saw fit.
John never minded them, and on the listing for the farm, the hybrid was in the description as a poor kitty that was left behind. It took quite a bit of time to get the skittish kitty used to him and even let him close enough to smell him. It's not entirely surprising the cautious and skeptical looks kitty gives him because while their owner left kitty, and the seller forgot to mention the many working hybrid dogs they owned went with them Abandoning poor kitty, leaving them all alone with not one to cuddle with at night.
Sweet farm kitty hybrid only met John price at first, but little did they know John had his own three dog hybrids. All retired from military after many years of admirable service. Before John thought you were ready to meet his three boys, he set up your own room and safe spots around the giant farmhouse. Giving you your own designated space when you decided to stay in the house with him. Of course, at some point, when john gently lured you into your new room, it was somewhat of a shit show. You went as far as deciding using the window to the roof to come in, and out of the house was a better option than using the actual doors.
You eventually settled and decided the room was better than the hay loft and tried out being a couch potato. When you quietly and cautiously joined John on the new couch for the first time, he immediately froze to not deter you from approaching him. He watched you out of his peripheral lay next to him, resting your head on his thigh. Only when you relaxed and began quietly purring did he attempt to stroke your head, petting your fuzzy ears watching them flick at his gentle touch. After that encounter and many positive moments, john decided it was time to bring the boys home for good.
The boys often dog piled in John's room, so separate rooms for them were pretty much unnecessary unless they asked for it. They had freedom to roam and wouldnt be allowed in your room without permission, he doubted you would so he would make sure the boys knew if was off limits until otherwise said. But considering they had all the space they needed and john has the biggest room and bathroom amenities in the house, the boys had their own section of the room, including a corner cubby with their stuff and combined beds.
Of course, after being out of a strict military environment for so long the moment the boys arrived when they got a whiff of your scent, johnny and gaz scattered trying to find you and simon ended up chasing after johnny trying to get him to quit it. Gaz beat johnny to the punch, chasing you up above the fridge on top of the cabinets. He was leaning against the fridge, wagging his tail sniffing the air, trying to get closer to you, curiosity and excitement emanating from him. When johnny heard the commotion, he wriggled away from simons grip toward gaz. John yelled stop, and all his hybrids looked at him.
You were less amused than the three behemoths before you. Johnny and gaz both whined, saying they only wanted to meet their new friend, and simon was glaring at the two having more self-control of his instincts and curiosity. John cringed at the poor first introduction. The low growl in your throat brought everyone's attention back to you. John shooed the three away simon, grabbing the two by their harnesses being the most dominant out of the three.
You glared at John as he began trying to coax you in getting down. "It's alright, my pretty girl. You're ok. Those two aren't gonna get ya, I promise." He coos at you. In John's defense, he told the three to behave simon was indifferent, but gaz and johnny were the ones he was worried about. You watch him with your ears pinned down and tail flicking rapidly in annoyance as he is trying to get you down with treats and your favorite toy your, very first toy ever. But you don't budge for a solid 20 minutes. "Come on, sweet kitty, there are all a bunch of big ol teddy bears they aren't gonna hurt ya." He says to you, running his finger down the bridge of your nose as you won't let him pet you.
Johnny and Gaz are sitting a few feet away patiently waiting for you to come down and allow them to scent you and say hello, their tails swishing excitedly behind them. They are all definitely German Shepard or a mix of one you can see that much, and they are all ridiculously large compared to you.
Simon is standing next to John, watching you with a curious expression. You eye him, taking in his scared face and equally battered fuzzy ears nestles in blond hair. Much to everyone's surprise, simon reaches up and grabs you gently, taking you off the fridge and into his big arms. You freeze from shock as simon settles you against his chest, holding you with one arm. You latch onto him to prevent yourself from falling, watching his face suspiciously.
Simon traces the scars on your face and arms from fending of other critters around the farm. "That's simon Kitty." John says, trying not to laugh as your frozen form clutches to simon. You frown as johnny and Gaz laugh, simons low chuckle vibrating through you. "You're a stubborn little thing." Simon says as he sits down next to the other two, positioning you in his lap, keeping a protective distance from gaz and johnny.
His tail swishes behind him as you let him hold you, unsure if you're gonna bolt or stay. You settle to johns surprise, holding onto simons arm, watching the other two scoot closer. You did miss your pack mates, so you tolerated the curiosity for a bit unsure if this was even gonna be permanent. Simon watches gaz close as he scents you first, seeing as he did find you first. He sniffs for a bit, his nose gently bumping your chin as he sniffs higherup your neck, simon lets out a low growl, telling gaz that's enough. Johnny takes that as his cue that it's his turn and bounds in face first into your neck. Simon reaches for johnny, pulling him away. "Careful with the lil thing, johnny. Don't wanna break em do you?" He shakes his head rapidly tail going a mile a minute. John chimes in watching this interaction unfold. "Gentle boys." He says, watching your face for any discomfort.
The only feeling you have is confusion. Have they never seen a cat hybrid before? And why are you letting them so close so quickly?
Simon lets Johnny's scruff go, and he gently smells you for a bit. Then simon tells them you're done, and it's his turn. He breathes in your scent, enjoying the sweet, subtle scent holding you closer
You sigh, giving up, seeing as much simon claimed you technically it seems they all did, and this is your life now. It doesn't seem so bad, really, you could get used to this.
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nobodycallsmerae · 15 days
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01. and every time you breathe his air, just know i was already there
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ⓘ now playing: track 01. taste ▷▷ 0:24 ─●──────── 2:37
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pairing: student council president!yang jungwon x reader(f) cw: controlling relationship (context, (mostly) in the background), lots of swearing (y/n's love language is cursing basically lol), lmk if i missed anything !
synopsis: it has been months since you and jungwon broke up, so it shouldn't bother you if he's dating your bitchy nemesis, but you still can't help but get into catfights with her because you love to get a reaction out of little miss perfect. definitely not because you still have feelings for jungwon, right?
tags: high school au, exes to lovers(?), lowercase intended
author's note: not my best fic as a writer (since i literally wrote most of this in language class) but its become one of my favourites as i've come to love this fic so much because of all the feels and the character personalities, so i hope someway you'll find yourself here <3 ngl won's character is heavily inspired by en-drama because i'm obsessed. my first try at writing for my fav enha boy so i hope i did well !
word count: 2.8k
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“bitch, are you actually crazy,’ with bright orange soda dripping down your shirt, you let out a slow chuckle, “or are you just mad that you taste me when he’s kissing you?” 
“fucking whor—,”
“that’s enough for today, girls, leave some energy for the rest of the day,” mrs. kang, the only teacher in the cafeteria, finally stood up from her seat and walked towards the commotion. 
“you just earned an hour in detention, you lady.” you couldn’t help but smirk when the teacher shot miss. ‘perfect’ a disapproving glare. “stay back tomorrow and maybe help out the volunteers, make yourself useful for once.” 
“but, uh, mrs. kang, she provoked me! she should be the one getting detention!” it was funny how she thought crushing the soda-can in her hands would deem her as innocent. 
“ma’am,” you knew you were a trouble-maker, but the only reason teachers trusted you was because you were sincere— or at least good at pretending you were. “i was only here to have a conversation, but she was the one who assaulted me out of nowhere,” 
one of the reasons you maintained a friendly relationship with the teachers was for situations like this. 
“and you know what ma’am, i’m not even mad that she attacked me, but wastage of food? oh, to think a thirsty kid could’ve been drinking that soda, but for it to get wasted on me like that?”
“that’s enough, y/n; don’t think i don't know your antics.” mrs. kang looked at you through her glasses. “another sentence and you’ll be enjoying detention with your best friend here.”
you flashed her a guilty but thankful smile. "of course ma’am, i understand.”
“and what are you all looking at? the bell’s about to ring, get back to your classes!” the teacher cursed under her breath, the crowd around you disappearing in an instant. 
mrs. kang looked around the cafeteria, and her face instantly lit up when she saw bitch #2. “ah, yang jungwon! thank god at least someone responsible is here.” 
you didn’t give him the satisfaction of looking at him, but you sensed him stand taller and simultaneously become smaller at the acknowledgement. 
“son, please take this menace to the nurse’s room, i don’t trust her enough to send her alone— god knows what more she’ll end up causing.” you flash mrs. kang a guilty smile. “meanwhile, you, young lady, come with me to the staff room.”
as you saw miss perfect follow mrs. kang with her tail between her legs, you couldn’t help but crack a triumphant smile. 
“thank you, ma’am, i’ll remember your kindness for the rest of my life!” you leave the cafeteria, seeing mrs. kang roll her eyes and say something along the lines of ‘i don’t get paid enough for this.’ 
not waiting for what's-his-face, you make your way towards the nurse’s room to find a spare shirt. 
“y/n! wait up,” your pace quickens as naturally as possible when you hear his voice, but jungwon easily catches up to you. “are you okay?”
“what do you want, yang jungwon?” it takes all effort in you to not look at him.
“here, take this,” you turned towards him when he offered his coat to you, his fingers slightly gripping your pocket, keeping you in place. with a glare, you take a step back.  “you're drenched, y/n. you’ll catch a cold like this.” 
“i don't need your charity,” maybe you did feel a chill go through your body, but you'd rather be dead than take help from jungwon. “you don’t have to help me just because a teacher asked you to, mr. president, i’m fine.” 
“y/n,” his tone was pleading but assertive. “don’t be like this,, i’m here as your friend—” 
“don’t even,” you scoffed, an annoyed expression adorning your face. 
“i thought you were my friend, but the way you have been acting lately tells me anything but. i know things are awkward because we broke up, but is human decency too much to ask for? 
"i’m not asking you to take sides, but you could've— nevermind now. i guess years of friendship goes down the drain just because your pretty little girlfriend can’t stand me.”
there goes your shot at being cool and nonchalant.
you didn’t mean to say that all, but words came spilling out of your mouth once you made eye-contact with him. 
jungwon looked shocked, speechless at your unexpected outburst. he took a step back. “i… i’m sorry, y/n.” 
you felt betrayed at yourself when you felt a pang of disappointment when he walked away. 
maybe you had expected him to say something? finally clear out all the misunderstandings and go back to how things were before? 
nonetheless, you also knew you could never go back to being just friends with him, yet you were starting to miss his company, and your aching heart was making it clear that you weren’t even a step closer to getting over him. 
but it didn't even matter now.
you sighed, resuming your journey towards the nurse’s room, your heart growing heavier when you find a bunch of napkins in your pocket where jungwon had touched you.  
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“i mean it was kind of stupid to think mrs. kang would let you off the hook for causing a scene like that,” your best friend smirked, clearly enjoying this. 
“hey, whose side are you on?” you half-heartedly throw your eraser at her, slumping into your seat. “oh man, i was so excited to go back home and watch the new episode of the drama with you. guess that'll have to wait because apparently dusting books that people will never even read is way more important, i guess." 
"calm your dramatic ass down," your best friend chuckled, patting your head as you groaned and playfully banged your head on the table. "at least there will be no record of detention on your report." 
"i guess you're right... but i'll miss you," you blow kisses at her, making her laugh. 
"whatever weirdo, love you too," she stood up, giving you a smile. "i'll get going then. you better start your work soon if you don't wanna stay back for another hour." 
"see you soon!" after you wave at her, you stretch out in your chair, giving yourself a pep talk to survive the extra hour of work that was given to you by mrs. kang as "not a punishment, but something that will make you think twice before causing trouble again." 
although you weren't happy about this, you couldn't help but feel a sense of calm as you entered the library and walked through the many bookshelves, finally situating yourself amidst the very last shelves. 
life had gotten pretty hectic lately, so having some time in the library, when not a single soul was there, felt like pressing pause and breathing for a moment. you put on your mask, and some music as you half-heartedly start dusting the old books on the shelves. 
the quiet and solitude was something you longed for, but with nothing better to do, your mind couldn't help but go back to thinking about yang jungwon. 
maybe you were being irrational with him today, because of course, which guy would choose a friend over his girlfriend? you felt guilty, because you realised it was your selfish feelings that made you act that way. 
while you were accusing jungwon of not giving efforts to sustain your friendship, what had you been doing? 
weren't you the one picking the longer route to avoid running into him, or helping random people with their errands whenever he came into the room just to avoid a conversation? 
but you couldn’t bring yourself to face him; not because of the awkwardness, but because you couldn’t see him being with his girlfriend.
jealousy was another thing, but you couldn’t tolerate the way miss perfect treated him— it shouldn’t matter to you that she didn’t understand his niche habits, or that she didn’t let him finish his sentences, so you chose to stay quiet instead of making a scene, because you knew it was of no use anyway. 
“well, so much for not making a scene,” you groaned, glancing at the too-tight shirt you’d borrowed from the nurse’s office. 
finally pulled out of your thoughts by the alarm you’d set on your phone, you looked up at the giant clock at the library, and let out a quiet squeal when you noticed an hour was up. 
as you packed up your phone and belongings and walked towards the front of the library, you were stopped in your tracks as you heard a familiar voice in the otherwise silent room. as you slowly crept towards the front desk, the voice became clearer.
“yes sir, of course. no, i understand. i’ll make sure there’s no— yes sir, sure. right. thank you, sir, thank— oof.” yang jungwon slumped into the chair, his voice immediately losing its energy and him looking more tired than ever as he gently placed his phone on a cluttered table. 
as he closed his eyes and ran his hands through his hair and rubbed his face, it gave you the perfect opportunity to walk by, unnoticed, and— 
“won— hey, jungwon,” a small, comforting smile crept up on your face, as you slowly made your way towards him. “what are you doing here so late.” 
your heart fluttered in an act of betrayal when you saw his face instantly light up when he noticed you. 
“y/n! hey, hi. have a seat,” jungwon smiled, quickly trying to push the various open notebooks and leaflets towards himself to make space for you. “i uh, i just had to stay back for some work for next week’s event. what about you, why’re you here so late? everything okay?”
“haha, yes, mrs. kang just made me do some extra work to make up for today,” you took a seat beside him, both of you facing each other. “but wait, don’t tell me you’re doing work here so late? can’t you do it at home?”
“well, yes and no? the teachers are counting on me to look after everything because, you know…” he looked sheepish as he scratched the back of his neck, forever uncomfortable about his position as the president of the student council.
“and since most of the things require me to double check with the faculty and the campus, it’s easier to do these things at school. plus, i’ll have to take the measurements for the posters and all too, so i was planning to get it over by today itself instead of weighing down someone else with the work,” 
“goddamn, i didn’t know you had so much work to do. I could never handle such responsibility,” you let out a slow whistle, but then turned to him with concerned eyes. “it must be hard managing everything. are you okay, though? you can distribute the work between the members, you know? you don’t have to shoulder everything.” you gently put your hand on him, making sure he listens. 
jungwon was the type of person who always took on more work than it was healthy for them to carry out, but he always made sure he completed each and every task with perfection. 
you knew the boy struggled with being a people pleaser and a perfectionist, so you made sure to remind him to relax and take a breath every once in a while whenever you got the chance. 
“giving the work to other people doesn’t make you a bad leader, won, it is literally their job to help you. so, chill out a bit okay? and make sure you take breaks in between and not—”
you were interrupted by the soft hum of jungwon’s ringtone, and as you looked down on it, it was almost as if a bucket of cold water was splashed on you as you saw his girlfriend’s name flash on the screen. 
in an instant, you let go of his hand, your hands reaching up  to play with your hair and hopefully hide the red creeping up on your face. “you… you should probably pick that up.” you hoped your smile did not look lopsided. 
to your surprise, you saw jungwon silence his phone, and place it inside his pocket. “you were saying?” he gave you a small smile, acting as if nothing had happened. 
“um, dude, wasn’t that your girlfriend?” you sounded confused. “you should’ve picked up, i’m okay with it.”
“uh, ex… girlfriend.” 
“what the fuck?” you shrieked in surprise, your face red, both of you looking around to see if anybody heard you. you lowered your voice once again. “bitch what? didn’t we just argue like hours ago? because of you? wait, oh my god, don’t tell me she broke up with you because of me? oh god, i’m so sorry jungwon, i swear, i never meant to—”
your ramble was cut short when jungwon gently placed his hand over your mouth, chuckling at your wide eyes and flushed cheeks. 
“y/n, calm down, i’d broken up with her weeks ago,” this dude literally had the audacity to smile after giving you a mini heart attack. “actually… it's a pretty long story.” he cringed. 
“well i would very much like to know why the fuck i’m wearing some random girl’s shirt if you guys broke up weeks ago?” you huffed; but when you saw his quiet expression, you blushed. “wait, i mean, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. it’s okay, i was just kidding.” 
“No, y/n, its okay.” jungwon had a weird expression on his face. “it’s just that… do you have any idea how much i’ve wanted to talk about this, or just talk like this, with you? i missed us.” 
“won,” you were sure your face was permanently red now. “i’m always here, you know that.” 
“thanks,” he said. “the truth is, i wasn’t really in a happy relationship with her. i don’t know, maybe i didn’t want to admit it to myself too, but at some point it just got too suffocating; it was like being with a tyrant.” 
though jungwon was trying to play it off with a casual demeanour, you could hear the pain still eminent in his voice. the reason he was so closed off, always so busied by his books or duties, it all made sense now. 
“i know it sounds weird, but being in a relationship with her felt like i was constantly being criticised and forced to be someone i’m not. i can’t always be this perfect, responsible, ideal boy friend, and i felt guilty for trying to put on this fake act of being perfect and i…” 
you genuinely ached for him, your heart reaching out to the boy who was finally opening his jar of bottled emotions. 
you wrapped jungwon in a gentle but warm hug, hoping it helps ease him, who was on the verge of breaking down.”
“shh, its okay, won. you’re out of that relationship now, and it takes alot of courage to do that; i’m proud of you, yang jungwon.”
“you know what the funniest part is, she wasn’t willing to break up with me so she acted as if we were still together and telling me that she’ll stop and change and what not, and me being dumb enough, probably did believe her. but it was this morning, when she threw the soda at you, it was almost as if she’d done it to me. 
“it was different when it was just me, but when she’s hurting people i care about?  i know where to draw the line then.” jungwon finally cracked a small smile. “and you know what? i finally understood that i made the right decision when you came here and told me that i don’t have to take on everything on my own. it made me realise that there are people who look out for me, so i’m not worried anymore.”
“of course, you dumb fuck,” you flicked his forehead, laughing to stop yourself from actually tearing up. you felt guilty knowing that he was going through so much on his own, but you also felt beyond ecstatic that he trusted you enough to share all that with you. “too bad you have such a stick up your ass that you didn’t realise that sooner. and its not just me, but all our friends are here for you too. So don’t you ever dare feel alone or suffer through all that by yourself.” 
“I know that now…” jungwon chuckled, his flushed face mirroring yours as he rested his head on the table, looking at you with the softest eyes. “thank you, y/n. You have no idea how grateful i am to you.” 
“shut up up with your cheesy lines, jungwon you slut, or i might just fall in love with you.” you rolled your eyes, playfully covering his face to hide your blush, because you both knew the truth anyway. 
‘i already have,” he smiled. 
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author's note: if you see my personal feelings etched into this fic, no you don't :D also did y'all notice the way i didn't even name the ex because like i was so afraid of it breaking the fourth wall like, what if its the name of your best friend or cousin or literally just your name 😭
please leave comments and reblogs because i could really use some motivation, thank you ! 🤍
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short n' sweet masterlist 💋
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