#i know you can basically just get them to live at their shop address but it's annoying if you have multiple sims with some of them going

[dmumt]

god i wish ts4 let your sims run businesses from their home lots like in ts2 

[phthalomushroom]

The Family (2)

last next

pairings: modern!mafia!aemondxreader

summary: You had left Kings Landing and the Targaryen family four years ago. Now back and living with your old roommate you realize that the life you had thought you escaped had seemingly been waiting for you. But will the family really let you go? Will the people you left behind forgive you? Can you forget the past and look to the future?

warnings: language, mentions of trauma, mentions of shooting, alys rivers, Italians

word count: 1.7k

notes: thank you for all the love on the first part, and sorry I wasn't able to respond I've been really busy this week. I changed the name and I think this fits a bit better. I hope you enjoy this chapter the next one will be a bit more drama filled - there's plenty more to come. <333

Six Years Ago….

No one ever got a table at Federicos. No matter how early someone called to ask for a reservation they would tell you they were booked out weeks in advance. If you did get a table they would cancel the reservation on you, apologizing for the important event they had to host. Everyone in town knew this challenge, but that didn’t stop anyone from trying to get inside. 

Well, at least that was how it was for everyone besides the Targaryen family. The Targaryens owned all kinds of shops and restaurants across King’s Landing that were fronts for their other dealings. But Federicos was special because it was just a gathering spot meant for celebrations and get-togethers, the family friend who owned it always had the private room of the restaurant ready for use in case the family had a need for it. 

Aemond didn’t tell you much about the family business, you only knew bits and pieces from overhearing conversations or from the gossip of those in the city. He always said that he never liked the idea of you being caught up in the craziness of it all. 

You’ve known Aemond since grade school, basically grew up together. You’d always catch him staring in Science and English. It was only in highschool when his locker was next to yours did he finally start talking to you. Those brief conversations quickly turned into study sessions during study hall, which turned into after school plans, which turned into him asking you out. 

But tonight, the first big homecoming dance of your senior year, Aemond had booked the private room of Fredericos to celebrate with all your friends. You would say that everyone was going their own way but everyone who grows up in King’s Landing usually stays, either opting to start work right away or going to Citadel University.

Unbeknownst to everyone, not that it was their business anyway, you had applied out of the city, far away places.You had gotten into all of them but were still waiting to hear back from your top school at North College of Winterfell. 

Your phone pinged with a text from Aemond telling you he was waiting outside. 

You finished getting ready, though, Federicos was a formal place you never went over the top. You opted cute and semi-formal, since you were heading to the dance right after. You quickly stuffed your purse with the essentials before bounding down the stairs. 

You walked past your passed out father, the typical beer cans surrounding him, and headed for the door when you noticed today's mail had slipped through the door’s mail slot. You would have stepped over it all when you noticed a big thick envelope at the bottom of the pile.

Bending down you grabbed the letter, flipping it over to see it was addressed to your from Winterfell. You quickly opened it, heart hammering in your chest when you read the words you didn’t know you were hoping to see.

Congratulations.

********

There were people who you never wanted to see again from King’s Landing and there were people who you couldn’t wait to see.

Vincent Federico was someone who you could not wait to see.

The small Italian man was as heartwarming as his meatballs and was always willing to do what he needed to help. When he first heard of your moving out after your blow out with your father, he offered you a job as a waitress to help keep you off the streets. When he found out that you were leaving for Winterfell he didn’t say a word to Aemond about it, keeping it a secret until the very day of your departure. 

Of course he would say he knew nothing about it, but you knew he had overheard your conversation with Baela that night. 

Now walking into Federicos the nerves hit you all at once. Vincent smiled as he saw you come in from where he sat at the bar, getting up from the stool to envelope you in a big bear hug.

“Long time no see, kid.” The man grinned in a way that his gold tooth where his left canine should be shimmered in the light.

“I know, I tried to visit but I didn’t want to ruin business.”

He waved you off. “You're outta your mind.”

“No hug for me Vinnie?” Baela piped up from next to you.

Vinnie grinned wrapping his arms around her, lifting her up off the ground before setting her back on her feet. “I saw you last week, you miss me that much?”

“Of course.”

“Careful, Jace might get jealous.”

“Jace knows that our relationship is one of pure garlic bread, he knows better than to interfere.”

Vinnie chuckled, waving his hand as he turned toward the tables. “Follow me, I got your favorite table all prepared.” 

He seated us at the corner booth that overlooked the restaurant. Vinnie had already set out a plate of his famous garlic bread, knowing it was your favorite, as well as having already poured your favorite wine. Since Baela and you have been coming here for years, you already knew what you were getting and put your orders in. 

Baela and you started catching up on the things that you weren’t able to share over the phone. Baela caught you up on the latest gossip of the city, of the schoolmates you left behind. Unsurprising, a majority of your graduating class  still lived in King’s Landing. 

Which meant you were bound to run into someone eventually.

“So,” you started taking a sip of your wine. “What’s the plans looking like for you and Jace?”

By now your meals had arrived, in between mouthfuls of spaghetti Baela asked. “What do you mean?”

“I’m just trying to get an idea of who’s gonna get the apartment in our divorce.”

“Why? Sick of me already?”

You chuckled. “No, I just mean with how serious Jace is I’m surprised you two haven’t made bigger moves for the future.”

“We’re still young, marriage now is like being a child bride.”

You grinned, understanding the feeling. “Oh, I know. But have you two talked about moving in? I mean you’ve been together since middle school, you know everything about each other.”

“We knew everything about each other.” 

“What do you mean?”

“Ever since he officially became part of the family, he doesn’t tell me as much. He keeps secrets from me, tells me it's for the best and that he’s protecting me. I don’t know, this probably sounds cliche.”

“It does,” you admit, but you remembered a similar feeling when you dated Aemond. “But that is who he is now.”

“Can I ask you something?”

You leaned closer. “Anything.”

“If the shooting never happened, would you have ranaway?”

You played with the rim of your glass, causing a slight high pitch noise. “I think I would have left eventually.”

“Would you have left with Aemond?”

You looked up meeting Baela’s eyes. “I think if everything didn’t go down as it did I would have stayed here and I would have regretted it like my mother did.”

“Is it really so bad?” She asked. “Being here, being with us?”

I shook my head, about to respond when a hand slapped down on the table, nearly spilling the wine. Alys Rivers leaned down smiling sweetly at you.

“Look who's back in town.”

Her green eyes were like daggers as she looked you up and down. You returned the gesture noting her skintight red dress, her too tall heels. 

You smiled. “I see you haven’t changed since highschool Alys.” 

She whipped her dark hair over a shoulder, threading her fingers through the strands. “Well, I hope you’d see some change in me (Y/N), I certainly see you have changed.”

You remained composed, taking a sip of wine. Even though she was three years older than you she still found it in her to act like the child she did in highschool. Aemond always told you it was because her dad didn’t give her enough attention but you knew she hated you because you didn’t come from a well off family. You didn’t back down then and you certainly weren’t going to back down now.

“So what have you been up to?” You asked, faking nice.

“Oh, I’ve joined the family business.” She made note to move her left hand to the side of her lips, bringing attention to the ring on her finger.

Your ring. The same oval diamond ring you saw four years ago. 

Which meant…

You let your eyes widen for a second before composing yourself. “Wow, congratulations! I’m happy for you.”

“Aren’t you going to ask who the lucky man is?”

She would not win, you wouldn’t let her. You can spiral later, but not in front of her.

You shot a look at Baela to find her frowning at her plate, she knew and she didn’t tell you. Now you were in the midst of a battle of wills and she was trying to sit it out. 

Hell no.

You kicked Baela under the table, gaining her attention. If she was going to keep something like this from you, the least she could do is help.

Baela cleared her throat. “Who is the lucky guy Alys?”

 “Well, you should already know who it is,” she waved Baela off. “It’s Aemond of course. We’ve been going out for the past three and half years, now. The proposal was long overdue.”

“Of course, you aren’t getting any younger are you?”

Alys sucked her teeth. “What a joy it is to have you back in the city, (Y/N). You’ve really been missed. I just hope that the Targaryen are as welcoming as I am.”

“She doesn’t have any involvement with the Targaryens anymore, Alys.” Baela sat up straighter at the mention of the family.

Her family now.

“Of course she does. Aemond told me everything about your relationship you know,” she leaned closer. “I just hope they don’t find out the real reason you left.” 

Your heart sank but you kept your composure. You finished your wine. “I have no idea what your talking about.”

Alys grinned, clearly satisfied. “Well, it was nice running into you. Send my regards to Jace, Baela.”

She went to leave but before you were relieved of her presence she reached into her black hermes bag and pulled out an envelope, setting it on the table.

“Aemond and I would love to have you at our celebration dinner.” With that she blew you a kiss and joined her friends in the private room.

You didn’t look at the invitation as you grabbed it off the table and shoved it in your bag. “What the fuck just happened?”

Tag List: @dixie-elocin @liannafae @toodlesxcuddles @watercolorskyy

[erenjaegerwifee]

Your Excuse To See Me

Request by: @twilightlover2007

Pairing: David 'Deacon' Kay x Fem!Reader

Summary: Deacon's case takes him to your bookshop.

Warnings: none, fluff,

Word Count: 2.4k

Disclaimer: all my characters are aged-up! If this makes you uncomfortable please do not interact with my account or any of my notes.

Main M.List | Deacon M.List

“Hey deac” Luca spoke up as Deacon entered the locker rooms. “Morning guys” he replied greeting the rest of the team. “Tan was just telling us about how Bonnie is jealous” Chris spoke up while they all got ready for their shift. “Bonnie is not jealous; I’m telling you guys she isn’t like that” Tan tries to defend. “What happened that everyone things she jealous?” Deacon asked.  

“Last night we went on a date and when we were walking to our apartment in the hallway this girl was getting harassed by this idiot and I helped her out. After he left, she told us she just moved in and it happen to come up she also spoke Cantonese. I happen to mention it was so rare to find another person who speaks it by coincidence and after that Bonnie’s mood has been off. She won’t talk, she’s basically doing everything she can to avoid making eye contact with me.”  

Deacon hisses feigning pain when he hears the story, “hate to break it to you man but that’s jealousy. I can’t believe you can’t wrap your head around this, she is jealous because that woman who speaks your language probably shares your religion and values growing up in a Chinese American home is now living next door to you. She feels less than now that she has someone to compare herself to.”  

Tan took a second to process his words before he finally understands how it all went wrong, he never even thought Bonnie would think like that. “How are you still single? You should have girls falling at your feet” Tan jokes.  

“Jokes on you bro, he does” Street says making everyone laugh as they walk out of the locker room to meet Hondo. Before much words can be exchanged, Hicks walks in with a case assigned to the team. “20-David, we’ve been handed over a case, apparently the financial crimes and the narcotics division can’t solve it and they want us to wrap up this up. Also, we have intel the man doing the money laundering are armed and dangerous.” 

Hicks goes on to explain the details of the case to the team, saying a man who supposedly goes by the name Authur Lopez has been moving money around through other people’s business. He also may be using them as a stash house. The problem is no one can seem to figure out which business he is using to clean his money. “They know he’s dealing but they can’t prove it, we need to find the proof to bring this guy in” 

“We may have a lead though, detective Chase that was previous the lead on this case said he found Auther has an old high school girlfriend who recently moved to town, we aren’t sure if they have had any contact but it’s worth checking out, she might know somewhere he might hide” Hicks finishes up letting the team take the case. Street and Tan both start researching your home and workplace addresses and they found something. 

“She owned a bookshop, just opened a couple months ago, around the same time we caught wind of Authur and around the time she moved into town, her business could be the one she’s using, she sells books, it can be a good cover if her business gets traffic, and judging by the location I think she’d be doing well.” Street says as he pulls up the location of your shop on the screen for the team to see.  

“I found her home address, it’s an apartment complex about 3 blocked from the shop.” Chris says and pulls the location for them to see. “Okay Street, Tan with me we’ll check out her apartment. Luca, Chris and Deacon you can check out her shop she might be there, she what she knows if she’s willing to talk.” Honda hands out their assignments and everyone jumps in a car their destination.   

When Deacon, Chris and Luca arrive at the bookshop they walk in and don’t immediately see anyone around. They walk a little deeper into the shop and you step out from one of the isles the shop isn’t so big that someone can hide, unless they are in the back room. “Hi there, is there something I can help you with?” you say in a sweet voice.  

At the sound of your voice Deacon whips his head, he stutters a bit when he sees you for the first time. Your hair fell curly down your back, you wore jeans that fit your hips but flared down over your ankles with cute brown sandals, you wore a gorgeous floral top that complimented your skin tone so perfectly. “Hi, Ms. Y/n? I’m Sergeant Kay, this is officers Alonso and Luca, we are here to ask you a few questions.”  

You look up at the handsome sergeant standing in front of you and your brain almost lags. “Sure, happy to help” you smile at him clasping your hands together. You gesture to the chairs and small sofas scattered around the room for them to sit and you do the same. “Ms. Y/n, we believe a man you know has been involved in some illegal activity and we wanted to know if you had any information you could share” the girl who’s name you learned was Chris spoke up. 

“Who?’ you asked her, “The name Auther Lopez ring a bell?” Luca asked you. Authur Lopez, you were never able to look at men the same after him, he was your high school sweetheart. You were going to marry him. That was until you found out he was dealing in high school and left him. “A couple months ago he found my shop, said he was keeping tabs on me and asked if I would consider giving him a job. Auther and I dated in high school, I broke up with him when I found out he was dealing, not only that but he was on them. I’m not sure what I never asked. When I hired him, he promised he was clean and so I agreed. Actually, his shift is meant to start in about 10 minutes, he has to come here.” 

“What is he involved in?” You asked them directly your question to no one in particular. “We believe he dealing again, or maybe he never stopped who knows. We need to bring him in a find the location of his stash house before he can distribute his product.” Luca spoke to you.  

“You’re welcome to wait here until he shows then, I had no idea he was still dealing” Luca made a call to someone while Chris asked to look around the shop and you agreed. Deacon didn’t move though, he sat right there in front of you the whole time. “Are you back together?” his voice was quite as he spoke but you heard him, “No, I’m not interested in starting things back up with him, he has done nothing but disappoint me, I only gave him the job because he said he needed it and he was getting clean.” you matched him tone while you looked at him. 

He was so pretty you could barely take your eyes off him, if you weren’t looking at his chest printing out in the tight SWAT t-shirt you were looking at his chocolate brown eyes, if not that, the you have never seen a man look so good with a beard and that usually wasn’t something you’d go for, the hints of grey just did something to your brain.  

Deacon wasn’t any different, he was too busy staring at you to realize you were staring back, he admired the way your curls look so full but not frizzy at the same time, the way he so easily got lost in your beautiful eyes, and let’s not talk about your figure, he has never seen anyone look so beautiful before.  

“So, Sergeant Kay-” 

“Deacon, call me Deacon” 

“Deacon, you’re a SWAT sergeant what is that like?” you smile when you ask him. He was confused for a quick second how did you know he was in SWAT? Until he remembered he was working, he was dressed in uniform. “It’s good, I like it, it’s dangerous and it’s a lot of work but it pays off in the end. So, books?” he returned the question.  

“Yea, I've always been a reader” you giggle as you continue, “It’s very calming to read, takes my mind off things when I’m stressed, a way to pretend you’re someone else.” 

“How could you want to be someone else?” his tone was breathy, it had a hint of a chuckle in it, it made you blush. It was so easy to get caught up in him you forgot all about what he was here for. Luca walked back into the shop; the noise of the chimes pulled you back to reality. He was met with the sight of you and deacon staring at each other with flirtatious smiles and cleared his throat to get your attention. 

“The others arrested Authur on his way here, they have him in custody. Hondo said meet back at HQ” Chris moves out with Luca and Deacon was about to follow them, “Wait!” you stopped him resting you hand on his arm to stop him from walking. You ran into one of the isles and grabbed a book off the shelf, “Here, an excuse for you to come back that isn’t work related. Now you can go” you smiled at him sweetly and he chuckled at your sweet gesture. “I’ll take you up on that.”  

Deacon walked out the bookshop with a wide grin in his face and he sees Chris and Luca waiting for him with matching grins, seems Luca had filled Chris in and they both clocked the book he didn’t walk in there with. “Ouu someone’s got a crush” Chris said in a sing song tone.  

A few days later the case was wrapped up and Deacon was sitting on a comfortable chair in the SWAT main room with his legs propped up as he read the book you gave him. He isn’t you paid attention to the book you handed in when you grabbed it but it was an interesting book.  

He has been teased non-stop by the team since they all heard about what happened, no one can see him sitting with that book in his hand without saying something about you. They even went as far as to make a bookmark with your face on it and stick it in his book so every time he opened it, he would see you. It was entertaining the say the least but now that the book was in his hand and finished, he felt nervous to see you again, this time he had no motive to hide behind other than he just wanted to see your pretty face again. 

“Hey Deac, we’re gonna hit up Luca’s food truck, do you wanna come with?” Chris asked Deacon as she packed up her things at the end of the shift. “I’d love to but, I have to swing by the bookshop and return this book y/n gave me” He waited patiently for the teasing and right on cue, “You going ask her out?” Chris was grinning like a school girl.  

“I want to, I will, I’m gonna...maybe”  

“Sergeant Kay is nervous? There is a first for everything. But seriously all jokes aside, I saw the way you looked at each other. She will say yes, no need to doubt yourself” Chris smiled at him and punched his shoulder as they walk out of the locker room.  

Deacon rushed to his car saying a quick goodbye to the team and driving to the bookshop before you closed. He opened the door and say you writing something sitting on a high chair behind the desk. “Hey” he said with a small smile.  

You look up from your book and smiled when you saw him, “You came back” you said matching his smile as it grew larger, “I guess my excuse to come see you worked, great book by the way, never thought I’d be into enemies to lovers but apparently I am” he chuckled and put the book down on the desk. 

“I’m glad you liked it; I wasn’t sure you were the type” you giggled. There was a moment of silence between you. A moment where you just stared at each other, admiring. “I have to close up the shop now, it was really nice of you to come back Deacon, it was nice to see you” Deacon smiled at your words knowing exactly how you feel.  

“It was nice to see you too.... hey do you want to join me for some dinner? I know a great food truck not far from here, we could swing by and get something” you wanted to burst with happiness, you didn’t think he had it in him to ask you out but he did.  

“Of course I’ll go with you, let me just grab my purse and lock up” you smiled you sweet smile at him and you giddily ran to the back room to get your stuff, hearing him laugh at your antics.  

When he opened the car door for you at the food truck you smiled and took a big inhale. He watched you fall in love with the smell of the food and you walked right up to the menu, “I don’t know what to get” you said to him, “Order for me”  

Deacon was about to speak when he heard his name being called out, his team was still here. He turned his head in sync with yours and watched a bunch of people walk up to you both. You instinctively stepped closer to Deacon but you quickly recognized Chris and Luca from earlier in the week.  

“I see you asked her out” Chris said. 

“I can’t believe it took him so long” another boy said who introduced himself as Jim Street 

“Oh, give him a break, it’s been a week” their team leader spoke up, Hondo. Their comments made you blush and you hid your face with your hands giggling. Deacon put his arm around your shoulder to shield you from the teasing while they laughed at the situation wholeheartedly. You're so happy Sergeant Kay came to your bookshop.  

🔹I hope you all enjoyed reading! I’d love for anyone to Reblog my work, Like and Comment so it can be shared! I’ve been wanting to write for Deacon for a while and I’m finally starting!

🔹On another note. Deacon is hot as fuck. And I want to write him in a nsfw kind of way. Eventually not atm I’d like some feedback on how you would feel after reading my work.

Taglist:

@twilightlover2007 @fluentmoviequoter @just-a-girl-who-wrytes @spnshortcake

[subwaysurf45]

Going Out and Coming In

Summary: having you come out to the club was always a treat in Bucky’s eyes, you were never one to party like the rest of them. With all the alcohol and music bumping through your viens it’s hard to keep your hands off of Bucky, and he knows it too. 

Pairing: College!Bucky x College!Reader

Words: 5k

Warnings: SMUT: edgining, denial, oral (m4f), praise kink. Alcohol, drunk reader, the tiniest amount of peer pressure, fluff anf fun!

Masterlist

You: Hey just got out of class, want me to grab a coffee for you? 

Bucky: E-Transfer: $10

Bucky: Sure, just that coffee you got me last time, forget the name of it but it was really good!

You: are we going to pass over the E-Transfer like it didn’t happen?

Bucky: Yes

Bucky: No questions. Just coffee. 

After reading the texts you just stood in line with the feeling of a blush creeping on your face, you accepted the money and had it ready when you walked up to the cash. It was a nice coffee shop you went to all the time and had recently introduced to your no-label-but-you’re-very-exclusive-friend-who-is-also-a-boy. He wanted to meet you between classes for an hour so you sent him the address, he was there when you showed up and kept looking around the small coffee shop, a smile staying on his face. That felt like forever ago, now you went on a coffee run whenever you were heading over to his place after classes. 

“Hi, can I get two vanilla lattes?” you asked and the barista nodded. You paid and waited off to the side, sending a text to Bucky to let him know you were coming over soon. 

He sent a winky face as a response, you cleared it away and saw your lock screen. Bucky asked if you wanted to see his family after a while of hanging out, it was around eight months into the labelless relationship and his mom was asking about who he posted on his Instagram. You went with him back home and met everyone, one night the entire family went out for dinner. His mom had taken out her phone and asked you two to pose, Bucky wrapped his arm around your shoulders, you leaned into his hold and placed a hand on his chest for support. When the countdown hit one Bucky leaned over and kissed your cheek, leaving the photo to capture your surprised face. He had kept that as his lock screen forever, even now after two and half years. 

Both drinks were ready, you walked off of campus and to the apartment buildings that you both lived in. you didn’t live together but you both lived in the same building but on different floors, it was really nice to be able to walk up a few staircases to give him a goodnight kiss. Speaking of stairs, when you reached level eight- the elevator was broken -you were basically sweating. 

With your foot you kicked the door, Bucky opened it with a smile on his face. He could tell you were out of breath from walking up all those stairs but chose not to comment on it, he just giggled to himself and let you walk all the way in. 

“Hey, Baby,” he hugged you once the coffees were put down, “thanks for the coffee.” 

“It was your money,” you laughed in his chest, his arms wrapped tightly around you. 

“Whatever,” he whispered. After taking a few sips he followed you into his room, Sam and Steve were both at class but they’d be back in time to hit the club. “Do you need to study?” He asked over his shoulder as he fell back onto his bed, you nodded and assumed a spot as his desk. 

Early on in your relationship you had been open about your small issue with being too attached to your grades, Bucky thought nothing of it until exam season rolled around and you were up very late studying every day. You had lied once and said you were heading home, Bucky trusted his gut and went to the library to find you curled up in a blanket, looking like you were going to stay there for a long time. 

Even when you two would hang out between classes you’d still get your studying in somehow, Bucky had to learn to accept it or else you wouldn’t be present because you’d be thinking of everything you were missing out on. 

When everything you needed to get done was done you crawled onto his navy sheets and curled on his chest, Bucky wrapped his arms around you and held you close. He had noticed you had been down the past few days, there were assignments getting in the way of your relationship and you tried your best to balance but it was hard, all you ever knew was focus on your school and nothing else. 

“I think tonight is going to be good for you,” Bucky whispered as he planted a kiss on your head, “seeing your friends, getting a few drinks in you, being outside of your dorm and all that,” Bucky rubbed your back, “the guys miss you, Nat misses you a lot.”

“I know,” you sighed. 

“And that’s not to make you feel guilty,” he reached over and drank his coffee, “it’s to remind you that you’ve got people in your corner who love you and care about you more than your grades, alright?” 

“Alright,” you looked up at him and kissed his jaw line, his lips were too far away. 

Getting ready together was alway something you looked forward to, you would hog the bathroom while you did your makeup and Bucky would have to lean over you to add the product to his hair. The music would be playing from the speaker and the both of you would dance around one another. 

Your dress was black, one you had worn before. You had added a bit of volume to your hair and did a little more than your normal makeup routine. Bucky was sitting on the couch, scrolling on his phone while you did the final touches. You sprayed your setting spray that you were convinced was just water and tapped a little more lip gloss on your lips. 

“I’m ready!” you sang, walked out into the main room. You thought Bucky was just going to be there but Sam and Steve were there as well, pregaming. “Oh,” you laughed, “I didn’t hear you guys come in.” 

“We’re spies,” Natasha came from behind you and hugged you, making you turn around and hug her properly. With a smile you squeezed her tightly, you hadn’t seen her in a while and it was so nice to hug her.

“The uber is going to be here in five,” Sam said as he poured another shot, “want one?” he tipped the top of the bottle towards you. 

“Sure,” you nodded, looking over to see Bucky walk over. 

Alcohol was always weird for you, it’s not that you were a complete lightweight but compared to Bucky you were. Weed on the other hand sat better with your system but you couldn’t smoke in the club, you were also out of gummies. If you were at a house party that was way more casual you’d break out a joint or find someone with a bowl you could use, but clubs were much different. 

Natasha set up her camera, it was a tradition to record the first group shot. You stood beside Bucky as his hand reached around to hold your waist, immediately feeling warm. Everyone counted down and took back the shot, it burned for a second before swallowing. You never understood why people try to keep from making a face, everyone knew vodka tasted awful and you let it show. 

Everyone laughed and you hid your face in Bucky’s chest, trying not to completely embarrass yourself in front of Natasha’s story due to your pure disgust towards the taste. Bucky laughed and rubbed your back, “how’re you feeling?” he giggled in your ear and laughed as you looked up at him, “the first one is the hardest.” 

“I know,” you sighed, “I just want my drink and not shots.”

“It’s a shots night, baby!” Natasha cheered and headed to the door, the car was here. 

The drive was quick, you could walk but it was too cold for the dresses you and Natasha were wearing. You had been to this club before many times, it’s not like you had never been to a single party before but for every three times Bucky goes out, you go out once. You definitely were a homebody. 

You could hear the club before you were inside, the base making the neon lights flicker from how old they were. You were there at the perfect time, allowing you to get in free. Once you had squeezed through the door you quickly turned around and grabbed Bucky’s hand, holding it tightly as you moved through the dancefloor to try and find a spot to hunker down for the night. 

It was loud and people were already sweating alcohol, there was no care that there was a group trying to squeeze through, people were throwing their arms around and trying to make a mosh pit which was something you would never take part in - no matter how drunk you were. 

Once you found an area you all squished in the booth, Steve didn’t sit down and took everyone’s drink order. You needed to get tipsy before getting on the floor and that shot was starting to buzz, you were sitting on Bucky’s thigh as you looked around to see everyone dancing. 

Sam went out and found his date, you hadn’t seen her before but then again, most of Sam’s dates are like single use plastic to him. She was tall with extremely tanned skin, when she waved you knew right away it was fake tan, she hadn’t rubbed it in properly on her hands. 

Wanting to tell Bucky you looked over your shoulder to find him already looking at you, letting his chin rest on your shoulder blade. He smiled at you and kissed your cheek, “I’m serious if you get too overwhelmed, you have to tell me.” 

You looked around to see no one was paying attention to you two, “I know but I don’t want to be babied, I don’t want you asking every five seconds or I'll just get annoyed, okay?” Bucky nodded quickly, silently saying duh. “You know my tell-tale signs.” 

“I do,” he kissed your cheek again, “and I’ll only get overprotective if I see a guy look below your waist or if you squeeze my hand three times.” He nodded with you before turning back to Steve and taking his drink, you took yours as well and began to drink right away. 

“So, Sammy,” you cleared your throat, “how many times have you taken in the fact that you two share the same name?” you asked the girl who sat beside Sam. 

“My name is actually Samantha,” she laughed, “but I’ve definitely thought about it.” Everyone laughed, “no one really calls me that, only Sammy.” 

“I’ll make sure to call you that then,” you smiled and held out your drink, clinking the plastic with hers. 

Everyone took their turn going to get drinks before you all migrated to the dance floor, dancing around and singing to the popular songs. The great thing about going out with everyone was how they got along on the dance floor, there was no shoving or grabbing, just making eye contact with someone and doing the same stupid dance move until you both doubled over in laughter. 

You, Natasha, and Sammy created your own group and found your way to the bar, drunkenly ordering and doing shots to Nat’s request. She recorded some but kept ordering them, Sammy had no issue throwing them back. They laughed when you pucker your lips to try and fight the burn, the chaser did nothing at all. 

“Let’s head back!” Natasha yelled over the music, you had felt pretty good up until then. The moment you pushed off the bar and began to walk the shots hit you like a wave, you stumbled for a moment and grabbed Natasha’s elbow and followed her back. 

Through the sea of people you saw Bucky laughing with his friends, holding his beer and jumping around. The lights and the thin layer of sweat made him look amazing, his smile flashed as the strobe lights passed his face. You could feel his charm from across the floor, it was why you fell in love with him. The closer you got the harder you bit your lip, feeling your need to be near him grow stronger. 

Who knew what alcohol made you feel like this but from the way he was looking, you could pull him to a bathroom stall right now and get down on both knees without question, there was something about him in that particular moment that made you swoon. 

The boys were still dancing, you quickly found Bucky and took hold of both his wrists. His eyes searched your face but before he could ask if you were okay you leaned up and kissed him. When you pulled away you kept his bottom lip wedged between your teeth, he jolted back with an ‘ow’ and reached up to touch his lip, a bit of blood was on his finger. 

You giggled and wrapped yourself around his neck, tucking your face in his sweet spot and licking a stripe before starting to suck, his large hands gripped your waist before pushing you back slightly. 

“What did you drink up there?” he said with a smirk, you could tell he was loving this. 

“A fucking love potion I guess,” you said out of breath, “because I could literally mount you right now back at the booth and fuck your brains out,” you went back to his neck and left another start of a bruise 

When you pulled back Bucky was looking up at the ceiling, everyone else had no idea what was going on and just thought you were being clingy. His nostrils were flared as he tried to calm himself, you were giggling and fiddling with his shirt collar. 

“I should get drunk more often because I’m fucking loving it and I’m loving the moment right now,” you laughed and Bucky kissed your forehead.

“I’m glad you’re having a good time,” he laughed and pulled you in for a hug, “but you being this horny is going to be the death of me, you know I can’t control myself, baby,” he whispered in your ear, feeling his hot breath rush down your neck your grip his biceps harder, nails digging into his skin. 

Suddenly you were deep in the dance floor, jumping around and singing to the songs as loud as you could. Most of the time you and Bucky were in your own world, touching each other all the time as you danced. But other times a circle was formed and you all watched one another dance, holding hands and blending in with the other groups. The drinks were starting to wear off from all the physical activity so you all headed to the bar again, shooting back a few more shots even though deep down you wanted to sip a drink but that wasn’t practical for what you were doing on the floor. 

“One more!” They cheered towards the bartender. 

“One less for me!” you called out and he nodded, pouring everyone a shot except for you. 

“Come on, y/n!” Nat laughed, “it’s only one more, I wanted to take a video this time.” 

“Let me record it,” you held your hand out but quickly finding Bucky’s forearm for balance, the sudden movements after the shots made you realize just how many you actually had, again. In another world you could take another, but right now you were fully at your limit and honestly a little above it. 

“No!” Sammy chimed in now, “one last group shot.” 

“No guys,” you shook your head and immediately placed your other hand on Bucky’s forearm, your heels were not helping with your lack of balance. They attempted to cheer you until you squeezed Bucky’s hand three times. 

“She said no, alright?” it was almost like he hadn’t drank all night, but he definitely did. “So she’ll record and we all drink,” he looked down at you and kissed your forehead for what seemed like the millionth time tonight. 

You held the phone out as they all shot one back, after swallowing first Bucky reached out and took the phone, flipping it around so you could wave as well. With the amount of drinks flowing in everyone’s system they all forgot about what just happened and headed back in, Bucky waited for a moment before turning to you. 

His eyes were hooded and it was cute to see him fight towards sobriety in case you needed him, “can I ask if you’re okay?” he smiled and leaded forward and wrapped his arms around your waist. 

“I’m okay, thank you for that,” you kissed his cheek and took his hand as he helped you walk back towards the group. 

Midnight had come and gone but the party kept moving, it seemed to only get more packed as the time went on. You had drank some water a while ago and was in a perfect spot while everyone else got more and more drunk. Bucky was the second to switch to water, he was gone but had enough in him to string a sentence together. 

“I could not operate a motorized vehicle right now,” Sam said to you at one point, completely unprompted. You laughed and nodded along, looking at Bucky as he laughed too. 

The songs got progressively more sexual as well, there was nothing better than looking at the girls when a song came on and you all screamed, feeling extremely confident as you screamed the words in front of the boys who were dumbfounded. 

One came on where you immediately looked at Bucky and finger wagged him closer, feeling how you felt at the beginning of the night when the lights looked so perfect on him. The attraction was coming back and it didn’t help that this was your favourite club song. He knew what was coming as he came closer to you, roughly grabbing at your hips and feeling around. Everyone else screamed, never seeing this side of you that often. 

Bucky flipped you around so you were facing the group, letting his hands wander to your front and rest low on your stomach. Your head leaned back against his shoulder and one hand moved up to touch his neck, your ass was pressed against his hips. His face showed no signs of embarrassment for being hard. 

You sang the song to his ear, looking up at him. Natasha started recording but Bucky quickly swatted the phone away, not wanting it to be recorded for your sake but also because he wanted to be in the moment. 

When it ended you kissed him and bit his bottom lip again, hearing him groan as he squeezed your ass again because you turned around to kiss him properly. Again, due to the alcohol the group forgot it happened quickly as they moved on to the next thing that caught their attention. 

Bucky leaned down to your ear again, “baby,” he was close to a moan, “you’re so fuck sexy, like, you have no idea what you do to me- drinks or not.” the two of you made out for a while, not caring who was looking at you both. Your hands tugged at his hair and his hands went almost everywhere, if you weren’t tired when you got home you knew you were getting a great night of sex. 

Soon enough the lights flicked on and the music died down, you all managed to get out of the club but had to walk home. Bucky had two water bottles in his hand as he caught up to you all later, claiming it was all they had left. 

Everyone was in the same boat, extremely drunk and walking home. Your hand was held tightly with Bucky’s, “you know…” you giggled and looked up at him, “my apartment is closer, you don’t need to climb all those flights of stairs. 

“Sounds good to me,” he was thinking you were just inviting him over, actually thinking the only reason you wanted him over was because it was three staircases closer. 

“And…” you took a long sip of water, “my roommate is out of town so…we can be loud, y’know?” 

His pupils expanded faster than ever before, “oh?” he muttered and rubbed his nose against your ear, “you know, you’ve been a big tease all night, I don’t know if you’re all bark and no bite.” 

You shifted and walked backwards, “from what I remember I bit you a lot,” your bottom lip was wedged between your teeth, knowing you were just riling him up. 

The moment you turned into your apartment complex Bucky turned to the group, “I’m going to y/n’s apartment,” he announced and the group began to laugh, “just let me know if you can hear us from three levels up.” 

“Bucky!” you slapped his chest but before you could say anything Bucky turned out of the stairwell and onto your floor, picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder. “You need my keys,” you laughed as he fished them out of his pocket because you didn’t want to bring a purse. 

When your back hit the mattress he was quick to crawl over you, putting all his weight on you as he slotted himself between your legs, making your dress ride up. His lips were quick to move away from your lips and down to your neck, sucking a biting all around. You two had been together long enough to know where each other’s spots were and what you both liked, Bucky could always get you going right above your collarbone and used it to his advantage. 

Your back arched as he lifted the dress up and over your head, going back in between your breasts and shaking his head around, making you laugh and play with his air. Your bra was off next and Bucky was still fully dressed, the stark difference in modesty made you want to cover up but Bucky’s hand pinning your wrists back with force couldn’t let you do that. 

Bucky kissed all the way down before hooking his fingers and pulling down your underwear, kissing back up your knees and thighs to keep you waiting. When it came to Bucky eating you out it was all about teasing, he knew how to make cum in ten seconds if he hit the spots you liked, but he wanted to make a game out of it; he always did. 

He kissed, licked, sucked, bit, everything, he did everything to your pussy. Your hands would move from playing with your nipples to add extra stimulation to gripping his hair, your entire body was restless until his arms hooked around your hips and his hands clasped on your stomach to keep you from moving. 

Even after many years, “a little to your left,” you were still helping each other out, “holy fuck, yes Bucky,” you sighed, “right there, fuck, right there please don’t stop, please,” you begged and begged even when he slowed down and pulled away for a moment, causing you to groaned and looked down at him. 

When you were done whining he went back in, “you like when I tease you?” 

“I never have,” you laughed as he bumped his nose against your clit.

“I know,” he giggled and went back in, lapping his tongue against your clit and then wrapping his lips around to suck gently, your moans became louder and more frequent so he backed off again. You were so frustrated you tugged his hair hard, “ow!” he laughed as he looked up at you, “that actually hurt.” 

“Please, Bucky, please,” you gripped your breasts harshly, “I’m fucking beginning you, I feel so good right now, baby, so fucking good, just make me come,” you looked down to see a smirk on his face, “you have no- oh yes!” you dropped your head back against the pillow and closed your eyes, your mouth falling open instantly. 

Bucky got into it as well, making out with your pussy and moaning to himself. He got pleasure out of getting you there, especially when you begged for it. 

“There you go, pretty, fall apart,” he kept you so close for so long, “I know you want to let it out, you deserve it,” his voice sent vibrations up your spine and to your head which make it fuzzy, “pretty girl just needs to be worshiped, huh?” his hands broke out from the clasp and two fingers found your entrance so he could talk, “who’s my pretty girl?” 

“Me,” you said in a heartbeat.

“Yeah you are,” he pushed in and out, making you grip his finger as tight as possible, “who’s my smart girl?” 

“Me,” it was more strained, you were so close but he was holding back just enough to keep you right on the tipping point. 

“Who deserves the world, huh?” he sucked your inner thigh to leave a mark he’d definitely looked back at later. “Don’t quit on me know, pretty, who deserved everything, my smart girl, my pretty girl?” 

“B-Bucky-!” you wanted to tell him you were so unbelievably close, your pussy gripping him as tight as possible, you could barely form a sentence let alone answer his question. 

“No no no,” he laughed and gently placed one kiss on your clit, making you convulse as his finger kept working you there, “it’s not me, baby, who is it?” 

The pressure was almost unbelievable, tears formed in your eyes from how long you had been edged and denied. You could feel the pulse begin and your stomach clench, the coil was about to snap. “M-me, holy fuck, yes!” you screamed. 

“And who deserves to come?” he asked but before you could answer his lips attached to your clit for the final time and made you see white, you let out the most pornographic moan you had ever heard, it almost didn’t sound like you. You could barely hear it from how loud you were screaming Bucky’s name but you heard him groan as you came, making your orgasm that much more intense. 

Bucky kept going to bring you down from your high, he slowed down as your entire body convulsed. Your moans were short as you tried to push his head away but at the same time you wanted to stay in your euphoric state forever. His kisses slowed until he planned the final one before gently working his way up your body and back to your lips, your eyes were closed and tears from overstimulation fell back to your pillow. 

Bucky gently held you tight as you continued to let out the shocks, wrapping your arms around him as he whispered more praises into your ear. 

“Bucky,” you sighed, “I need a bit before we keep going,” you wiped your forehead with the back of your wrist, “I can’t feel my legs.” 

“All good baby,” he kissed your cheek, “we don’t need to do anymore,” he laughed, “you made me cum,” he whispered and kissed your earlobe. 

“What?” you whispered, you couldn’t tell if he was still hard because he was still fully clothed; his socks were still on. 

“I told you getting you off gets me off, baby,” he was out of breath, “that was crazy, you- wow,” he sighed and kissed you again, you could taste yourself on his lips but that didn’t stop you from slipping your tongue into his mouth. 

“I didn’t know I had that power,” you tugged on the bottom of his shirt so he could get undressed, once he was down to his boxers he quickly left to get a rag. 

“The power you have over me…” Bucky shook his head to himself as he smiled, gently wiping between your legs and your tights, “...you have no fucking idea,” he looked over at you with a wide smile. 

You were blissed out, both arms thrown over your head and your eyes were closed. The alcohol, fresh orgasm, and the love from Bucky made you feel like the only girl in the world. You were so content in the moment you didn’t want to leave it. 

Once Bucky got in bed he pulled you close, tangling every limb with you and letting you rest your head on his chest. He played with your hair for a while, twisting one strand around his finger as you listened to his heart beat. 

“Did you have a fun night?” He asked gently, checking to see if you were awake. 

All you could do was nod and let out a happy sound, “I hate shots.” 

Bucky tried to conceal his laugh to keep you on the road to sleep, holding you tighter, “you’re adorable,” he whispered, “but I’m glad you had a good night, I’ll see you in the morning, okay?” 

You hummed and curled further into him, letting the warmth swiftly put you to sleep. You could still feel him rub your back or play with your hair, sending tingles down your entire body. The hangover in the morning was going to be one hell of a headache but in this moment you were happy right where you were. 

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[ughgoaway]

don't you think of me?

plot; snapshots of your breakup, with one letter underlining it all.

word count; 6.9k-ish

content warnings; swearing, dramatic overreactions, distressing dreams, depression, blood, general sad vibes, drinking and no happy ending (oops <3)

a/n; guys... angst is SO HARD. idk how people write it sooooo well. this fic is inspired by the songs "Sad Beautiful Tragic" and "I Almost Do" and the storyline is based completely on those songs! but there are a few other Taylor song references in the fic too. anyway, this kind of jumps around a lot, perspectives and timelines. so if it's completely incomprehensible, I am so sorry!! lemme know if it's so awful I need to have a re-write lol. I really hope the flashbacks are clear, and that this timeline makes any sense whatsoever <3

(p.s this is basically dedicated to 🍪 anon and bff anon, ty for riding so hard for this fic lol)

(this is non-canon)

✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿

The cold wind hurts Matty's face as he battles against it. Each gust feels like needles prickling his cheeks. But still, he pushes through, not really feeling much of anything these days anyway. The paper in his pocket scratches his hands as he burrows them in deeper, but he just grips it harder. The scratches made him feel more human anyway. They convinced his hazy head that maybe life was still happening around him. 

The red post box in front of him is almost taunting. He stands frozen, gripping the letter he’s worked so hard on tightly. He has the passing thought of just letting it go, watching it blow away in the breeze, and never having to think about it again. 

He never has to think about you again. 

But he knows that's unrealistic. How can he never think of you again when you're all he thinks about? Every waking thought he has is about you. He still thinks about how your breathing changed when you slept next to him. The way your lips curved into the smirk he loved whenever you teased him. The flush that covered your cheeks when he did it back. 

Every morning, he still gets out 2 mugs. He still grabs your favourite wine at the shops and doesn't say yes to plans without thinking if he should check with you first. The last time he saw you was still burned into the back of his mind, and he was not sure it could ever leave. 

And to be honest, he doesn't know if he wants it to. If healing means forgetting you, forgetting everything you built, then maybe it is better to live in the pain. Each time he begins to heal, he picks up the scab over and over again. The sting reminded him of you, so he picked and picked. Blood poured from him relentlessly, but that was all he could do. Bleeding for you was all he had of you anymore.

He shoved the letter in and walked away briskly. He fought every bone in his body telling him to go back. To smash the post box and filter through every letter until he found his. He imagined a world in which he hadn't sent it, where instead he turned around and marched back to his house. 

Or maybe there's a world where he marched to your house instead. Maybe he finally got over himself and told you everything in person. He begged and pleaded for you to forgive him, to look him in the eyes and tell him you've been hurting just as much as him.

Matty isn't sure that world exists, though.

✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀

3 days later, when it arrives, you stare at it endlessly. You move it from place to place in your apartment and try to visualise opening it there. But soon enough, that just becomes you avoiding that room like the plague, and you start to treat parts of your flat like they are infested with a deadly virus. But they're not, really. They're just filled with a small envelope with your name on it and a return address you know all too well.

You decide you aren't going to read it 2 days later. You hold it over a candle and watch the amber flames lick the bottom of the envelope. But before you can set it ablaze, some instinct takes over, and suddenly, it's the most important object you've ever owned. You pull it from the flames and put it out with your fingers, not caring if the fire sizzles your skin. You cry and beg for it to be okay, tears streaming from your cheeks as you frantically pull it open, “No no no. fuck, please.” 

But the letter inside was unscathed, just the corner of the envelope was covered in a thin layer of ash. As soon as you see that handwriting, though, you feel the unspeakable urge to burn it again, to set it on fire and watch it burn. 

You don’t. 

You lay it on the table and go to bed. You decide tomorrow will be the day you do something with it, even though you promised yourself that every day since you got it. But you're sure tomorrow will really be the day. It has to be.

You return to the warm solace of the bed you've grown to know too well over the past few weeks, and the duvet welcomes you in like an old friend.

✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀

It's a few days after he sent the letter and the day after you received it when he sees you for the first time, and he can't quite believe it. There you were, standing in the coffee shop you always went to together. 

He wondered if the baristas had noticed you both started to come in without the other. Maybe they started gossiping about it, “Did those customers break up? I never see them together any more” and he could almost see someone else saying “I hope not. They were cute.”

Even though he knew no one would ever actually say that, and that the baristas hadn't noticed anything.

Some force that he couldn't explain pulled him towards you, and before he knew it, he was reaching for your arm. “Hi” he breathed out heavily, staring at you like he wasn't sure you were real. He wasn't convinced that you were anything but a figment of his imagination. Has his delusions about you already gotten to the point where he's having visions? He thought it would take a few more months for that.

“Matty?” You say gently, tracing your eyes over the man in front of you. Hearing your soft voice after months without you felt like heaven on earth for Matty, relaxation washing over him just at the soft dulcet tones of you.

Matty smiled softly at you, and you immediately returned it. He can see the cogs turning in your head on how to greet him. Was a hug too much? Is a wave too little? Is a handshake too formal? Overthinking was one thing you were so good. Matty was sure you could win an award for it. So he decided to take the decision into his own hands and wrapped out up in a hug, burrowing his face in your hair and smelling that familiar floral aura he'd fallen in love with.

Your whole body tensed when he first touched you. The once familiar feeling now was slightly cold and awkward. But Matty felt you relax and couldn't help the grin that spread across his face the the feeling of your head in his neck, the place you always used to lay. He swore he could feel you breathe him in, but soon convinced himself it was wishful thinking.

Reluctantly, you pull away, looking up at Matty with glassy eyes. The barista next to you clears his throat, bringing you both back to earth and out of whatever haze you were in. “your tea is ready” he says awkwardly, eyeing you and Matty with a sly smile on his lips.

“Right! Sorry, yes. Thank you” You grab your cup and turn back to Matty nervously. He can see the anxiety radiating off you, just like it always had. He never thought it would be directed at him, but he tries not to overthink it too much.

“Do you-” You clear your throat, shaking your head as you try to process that you're seeing him again. Seeing your Matty. “Do you want to sit with me? Catch up?” 

Matty can see your hands shaking around your cup and the nervousness swimming in your eyes. “Of course,” he says easily. He could never deny an opportunity to spend time with you. Especially not when he hadn't seen you in so long. And certainly not when you still take up his every waking thought. 

The conversation flows like you had never left, easily chatting and catching up like you always had. You tell Matty about the cat you adopted and how she loves to sit on top of the fridge to scare you. He tells you about his mum and her latest drama. Her kitchen cupboards were the wrong colour of grey, and it was the topic of conversation for much longer than he thought possible.

The first bout of silence comes when you ask about Annie, and Matty can tell it took every ounce of strength to force the words out of your mouth. You felt like someone had taken one of your vital organs when you left her, and you can still see her face in your mind whenever you close your eyes.

“she's good. Misses you, though. Especially because she doesn't see you at school anymore since you got a new job” he says with a solemn smile. Matty tries to hold eye contact, but he gives up a few seconds into it, instead staring at his coffee as if it was the most interesting thing in the room. 

Thankfully, soon enough, the once stilted silence becomes easy chatter and laughter all over again, Matty welcomed the warm conversation with open arms, missing your presence more than he ever thought possible.

But Matty's mouth soon got ahead of him, “so when was the last time I saw you?” he asked thoughtlessly. His brain was on autopilot, and the words poured out of him before he could stop it. The very topic you'd both been dancing around was now laid out in front of you, and it couldn't be ignored. 

Matty saw something in your demeanour change, your once soft smile morphing into a faux-happy grimace, “Don't you remember? You screaming at me in the kitchen? And then storming out after saying what you did? Maybe you remember smashing a plate on the floor?” Matty pauses at your words, not quite believing you're deciding to re-hash all of this in the middle of a coffee shop, especially with a massive and slightly creepy grin on your face, but he answers anyway. 

“Of course, I remember. And there's not enough words to say how sorry I am but-” he stutters as he tries to explain himself more, but you cut him off, gently placing a hand on his arm.

“Are you sure you remember? When you left me? Abandoned me? Left me sobbing and alone? What about the 30 phone calls you ignored?” You kept talking, and Matty couldn't get a word in, your voice increasing in volume with each desperate question. 

“Look I’m so sorry-” Matty desperately looked around him to see if people were staring at your raised voice, but the cafe was empty. The once bustling coffee shop is now like a ghost town, with no evidence of another human ever being in there. 

He flicks his head back to yours, only to be in his kitchen, forced back to that night. He stares at you in your pyjamas, tears streaming down your face. He flicks his eyes down to see him dressed in the same liquor-stained clothes, and he can taste the red wine on his tongue.

“Why” you whispered over and over again, gradually getting louder, eventually shouting at Matty as he stood there motionless.

Matty wakes up in a cold sweat, panting wildly as his brain fights to figure out what the fuck is happening. He scrambles to his phone and realises; it's still the same day. It was just another fucking dream. He knows nightmare would be the better word, but he can't bring himself to describe anything with you in it as a nightmare. 

With a heavy sigh, he flops back to his pillow, gripping his phone desperately and trying to fight the urge to call you. It almost doesn't work, and he clicks on your contact and lets his thumb hover over the call button. He sees the unanswered calls and the pleading messages. He can feel the desperation through the screen. 

He thinks your new boyfriend must've blocked his number because that's easier than thinking that you just hate him. Each time he reaches out, there’s no reply, and he feels a part of himself die.

He hadn't tried for a few months now, but he still had that urge to type out his every thought, to send it and call you until you answered. But he doesn't. 

It doesn't occur to Matty that the real reason that the reason you don't answer isn't because of a new boyfriend or because you hate him. Instead, it’s because you know you can't deal with another goodbye. You can't risk all this happening again. You were already practically ripped open. You can't risk tearing the very stitches you worked so hard to sew closed.

But matty doesn't know that, so with a huff, he clicks off you and onto George, and this time, he lets the phone ring.

“Huh? what-” he hears the groggy voice over the phone mutter, and it's then he realises maybe ringing George at 3 am because he had a nightmare wasn't the best decision. But it was too late now, and he could practically see George's expectant face from the other side of the phone. 

“Hi. it um- it happened again” Matty said with a huff, falling back into the pillows and staring at the moonlight dancing across his ceiling. He heard George's heavy sigh and the distinct sound of ruffling sheets, George had sat up instinctively, knowing something was up.

“What was it this time? Did everyone in the crowd turn into her again” George says softly, rubbing at his tired eyes and fighting a yawn. 

“No, it started off really nice this time. I saw her again at that cafe we always went to, you know the one near the studio? We were just chatting and catching up. But then she wouldn't stop talking about that night, telling me what happened all over again. And then I blinked, and I was back. I was in that kitchen again, just staring at her.” Matty follows the moonbeams with his eyes, lingering on the two beams crossing over, only for their paths to separate once again.

It reminded him of you and him.

“I think you need to get some lavender oil or some shit. You need to sleep. And these nightmares aren't helping” George says firmly, Matty would usually fight him tooth and nail at the suggestion.

He claimed it was because that stuff had never worked for him, but George knew it was because he saw it as still having a part of you in his life. Even if you were there in the form of his demons, at least they all looked like you.

But to his surprise, Matty immediately crumbled, “Yeah, you're right. Will you come to Boots with me after the studio tomorrow?” George agreed quickly before Matty could change his mind.

But he didn't try to, Matty simply said, “Thanks. Okay, I'll let you sleep now… Bye.” And before George could tell him it was okay, and he’d stay chatting as long as Matty needed, he was gone. 

Tears leaked from Matty’s eyes, wetting the same pillow where you used to lay your head. This loop of healing felt endless, and Matty wasn't sure if fixing this was possible when he knew you were still out there without him. Forever wouldn't have even been enough with you, but now he has nothing. What is he meant to do with no you?

✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀

As Matty lay awake in Manchester, you were in the same position in London. The same lonely bed, but different cities. Unlike him, you haven't managed to sleep yet. Instead, you can't stop your brain from imagining what is in that letter. Your mind falls back to that night, and you replay the events over and over again. Every word Matty said was etched in your mind, so it played easily, the same script ringing in your ears all these months later.

//////////////////////

Matty shut the door delicately. Getting home at 2 am. was already bad enough. He didn't want to wake you or Annie in the process. But when he saw the light pouring out of the kitchen and heard the distinct hissing of the kettle, he knew you were awake. And he knew you were waiting for him.

He walked into the kitchen silently, leaning on the counter and watching you potter around, he remember when he used to sit here for hours and dream of you in his house. Now he's not even sure the last time you said I love you to each other. You continue to ignore Matty, but you getting a second mug out of the cupboard tells him all he needs to know. This is going to be a long night. 

“At the studio late again?” You ask, passing Matty his mug and leaning across from him. Your eyes trace up his figure, and you can't help but think you don't recognise the man in front of you. His clothes hung off of him, and heavy bags sat under his empty eyes. His hair was standing on end, once perfectly manicured curls now frazzled beyond repair.

“Yeah, George wanted to fix this harmony. Sorry I'm back so late” he knew lying to you was wrong. He really did. But he couldn't bring himself to explain where he actually was, drinking alone in a bar rather than at home with his family.

“Oh. okay.” you pause and wait for Matty to correct himself, giving him a chance to be fucking honest for once. But he doesn't, so you push again.

“That's weird though, because I asked Charli where George was 2 hours ago, and she sent a photo of them together. In bed.”

Matty's eyes widened. He knew he'd just been caught, but he wasn't ready to give up the lie yet. He just needed a few more weeks away, and then he would come back. Then everything would be made right again. So his tipsy mind comes up with a new lie and pleads with whatever God there might be that would believe him, “Oh did I say George? I meant Hann, you know how I get when it's late”

“Matty. You stink of booze. Do you think im an idiot?” You sigh, placing your tea down and crossing your arms over your chest. The anger bubbling within you was threatening to spill over. You felt as if every word from Matty was a stab, yet he kept just pushing the knife deeper.

“So I had a drink at the studio! Sue me, Jesus Christ” Matty sneers at you as he talks, slamming his cup onto the counter, ignoring the burning on his hand from the tea falling over the rim.

“Liar” you click your tongue at Matty and cast your eyes to the floor. Staring into his eyes as he lied to you was agony, and you're not sure how much more pain you can take.

“I'm not lying. I swear I just-” he tries to argue, but you refuse to let him keep going.

“I know you're lying. You're always fucking lying! You weren't at the studio.” you sighed heavily flicking your eyes up to Matty briefly, but the tension was too much, it hurt to look at him.  

“Baby, cmon, calm down. It’s okay, yeah? I’m here now,” Matty moved towards you, grabbing your cheek in his hand and moving in to kiss you, prepared to make this all melt away just like he always did. You try to push him away, but Matty stands strong. He had to fix this. He needed to kiss and make up. It was all he knew how to do.

“Would you just fucking listen” you shout, pushing Matty back across from you, “I don't even know who you are anymore! These past few weeks have made you into a man I don't even fucking recognise.” You look up at him with crazed eyes and scoff at the sight of the man in front of you. 

You were done with it all. The lying, the running away, the sleuthing around. Done. You were having this conversation, and you were having it now.

“No please don't say that. You know me. I don't know who I am without you knowing me,” Matty begged, sobering up quickly at your words.

He needs to bring this back, claw what little life you had left in you to the surface. Everything that left Matty’s life has had claw marks in it, and he would be damned if he'd let you go without the same scars.

“Don't you understand that's the fucking issue, Matty? You don't know who you are anymore, I don't know who you are anymore. You need to be a person without me.” your words struck Matty in the chest like a bullet. 

Were you seriously suggesting what he thinks you are? Do you actually want to break up with him?

Matty baulks at your words. Every feeling he’d had over the past few months was catching up to him, crashing into each other in his brain as they fought to be let out. Anger won because, of course, it won. It seems to always win.

He decides that if you want to break up, then he'll do it himself. He can't let you beat him to it. He knows it's childish, but he doesn't fucking care. He needs to win this. “Please, I've been a person without you for 30 fucking years. I’m a fucking dad! I don't need you to tell me who I am.”

“Annie needs both her parents, Matty. We need you back, please.” The mention of Annie makes outrage bubble within him like it had never done before. He can't believe you'd practically threatened to break up with him one minute and then beg for him back for the sake of his daughter the next. Because that is what she is, she's his daughter.

“You don't know what it's like to be a parent y/n,” Matty mumbles under his breath, but he might as well have screamed it at you because that's how loudly it rang in your ears. He knew he'd fucked up as soon as he said it, but there was no going back now, and he could see that in your eyes.

“I don't know what it's like to be a parent. Are you fucking kidding Matty? What the hell have I been doing here for the past year? Just fucking around? I can't believe you could say that to me.” You hear your voice wavering as you force each word out. 

“Annie is just as much my daughter as she is yours” you whisper desperately. The regret of mentioning Annie was building in your chest, and it felt like a rock impeding your lungs, each breath fighting against the weight. but it was too late to take anything back now. Both you and Matty knew it.

Matty scoffs at your words, rolling his eyes as he fiddles with his fingers. He tries desperately to cool his raging mind, but he can't. He figures if he is already in this deep, why not stoop a little lower?

“Just as much your daughter? Please. You weren't here for fucking any of it. Where were you here when she was born? How about when she was sick for the first time and wouldn't let me put her down without screaming bloody murder? Or- or how about when she broke her arm and she cried when she couldn't have a pink cast? Or maybe for any fucking time apart from the last 12 months. I know you liked playing happy families y/n, but be fucking real for 5 seconds. You were her teacher, maybe a fun friend, but nothing more. And if you think you were, you're more delusional than I thought.”

His chest heaved as he finished, not taking a single breath during his rambling speech, he could see your wet eyes and he felt his heart aching but he just couldn't stop himself, words tumbling out of his mouth. "Even if you stayed, even if you never give up on us, on this. You could never be her mother.”

Both of you pause, the silence thick and heavy around you. How long could you stand like this and pretend he didn’t say that? Maybe if you just stayed there and listened to your ragged breathing, something would change.

But nothing did.

“Fuck you. You told me I was practically her mother a month ago. You said to me I was it for you, that your family was complete. I can't believe-” words poured out of you, streaming helplessly as you paced the kitchen. 

Matty tried to cut in, desperate to get a word in edgeways. The need to defend himself was all-consuming. He needed to know that you understood he said it in the heat of the moment. Words fall out of his mouth without thinking. He can’t help it.

“y/n, love-”

“I’m not her mother? Tell that to the time I took her dress shopping for your mum's wedding. Or when I took her to A&E with suspected appendicitis. and-”

“y/n. Stop, just listen to me, please.” Matty begs, he almost inches closer to you, but some ineffable force keeps him where he is, watching you pace helplessly.

“Listen to you? Oh, I've done plenty of fucking listening Matthew. All I do is listen to you! But you never fucking hear me-” 

“Can you just shut up for 5 fucking seconds” Matty shouted, grabbing a plate from beside him, throwing it against the concrete floor, watching it shatter into a thousand pieces. He just needed you to look at him, to tell him you could fix this, but you wouldn't stop talking.

A gasp from you pulls him back to earth, and he feels his heart break into as many pieces as the plate below his feet. Your wide eyes and tear-stained cheeks glare back at him, and Matty has nothing to say. He has no fucking idea what just came over him.

Matty gingerly takes a step towards you, trying to avoid the ceramic splayed over the floor. His fingers shake as he reaches his hand out to your cheek, wanting to thumb away the tears falling.

But just as he does, he sees you flinch. It wasn't even a full movement, practically a micro-expression. But you fucking flinched. And you both knew it. The veil of silence over you is thick as you both stand there motionless with no idea what you could say to fix this. To make the last 10 minutes disappear. 

Matty’s touch used to calm you. It was the only reassurance you needed. But now the mere thought of it filled you with some twisted sense of fear. The woman he had planned the rest of his life with was scared of him. And it was all his fucking fault. How had this all become his worst nightmare? How had the very thing he sacrificed so much to build crumbled and destroyed itself so deeply?

“Matty wait- I’m sorry, I was just still on edge. It's okay, im okay. See?” With a shaking hand, you grip his, bringing it to your face despite his protests. You can feel him trying to pull his arm away, but you fight him at every tug. Forcibly placing his hand on your wet cheek.

As soon as your hand drops from his, Matty wrenches away from you. The feeling of your cheek against his palm felt as if his skin was burning. The pain touched his every nerve. 

The air is charged with pure fear as you stare at the other, both of your chests heaving and your eyes glassy with unshed tears. Without thinking it through, Matty storms off, grabbing his keys as he pushes through the house. You chase after him, ignoring the blades of ceramic impaling your sock-covered feet, “No don't leave, Matty, please. Stay, stay here.” You reach to grab his arm, but Matty snatches it away before you can even feel his skin against yours.

“I’m leaving. I’m staying at George tonight. Tomorrow I’ll come pick Annie up from school. You will call in and take a sick day. Start packing your shit. I’m done. You're out of my house by tomorrow.” Matty demands, and with that, he leaves. Slamming the door behind him. 

Bloody footprints lay in a trail behind you, and your socks start slowly becoming sodden from your weeping wounds. But still, you stood there, unmoving. Shock coursing through your veins.

It was all over. Just like that.

////////////////////

The letter was taunting you from the other room, the blacked corner flashed into your mind whenever your eyes finally fluttered close. The image of you burning the letter played behind your eyelids like a movie, and you almost wish you really had done it.

But you didnt, so it still sat on your living room table, torturing you.

Eventually, you drift off to sleep, tears dampen the pillow below your head, but you ignore the thumping in your head and finally let sleep pull you under.

✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀

You know you're dreaming when you're back in that kitchen. But you can't stop it from happening. The hazy filter that covers your surroundings is the only thing assuring you this isn't real, that this isn't all happening again.

Matty stands in front of you just as he had that night, but he looks different. His once frizzy curls sat in perfectly ringlets around his face, the streaks of grey dancing through them more prominent. His unshaven face was now neatly trimmed, and you admired the salt and pepper hairs within it. You can see the tears brimming in his eyes, glittering on his waterline. 

“So you'll forgive me? We can move on?” he says desperately, smiling and moving towards you with tears falling down his cheeks.

You try to speak, but your mouth doesn't move, your lips stay pressed together against your brain's protests. Not even grunts escape you. Silently, you stare at Matty, completely motionless. 

“y/n? You forgive me. I can make this right again, can't I?” Matty begs desperately. He grabs your hand but recoils at the cold feeling on his skin, your fingers cold as ice in his grip.

You fight to speak again, to tell him yes. To tell him you forgive him, that you need to try again. But still, nothing leaves your lips.

Matty scoffs at you, ripping himself away from you, “I can't believe you're ignoring me. I thought you'd be more mature than this. Call me when you can actually have an adult fucking conversation.”

He storms off, but all you can do is watch him helplessly. Every nerve in your body is screaming to move, to chase after him. And you almost do, but some inexplicable force is keeping you there, motionless in the same place where your life ended all those months ago.

So you watch him leave again, the haze surrounding you soon becoming darkness. 

You know it's a dream, and you keep on telling yourself that. But when you wake with wet cheeks and a heaving chest, it feels pretty fucking real.

You swear you can feel him next to you, awake and staring at the same ceiling. But when you turn to see him, the piled-up duvet is all that's there, along with a cold bed beside you.

It's then you decide to finally give in to that voice in your head, the one screaming at you to just read the letter, to get it over and done with. The one begging you to throw it away and never look back is nearly silenced, and it soon becomes nothing but a whisper in the back of your mind.

The letter stays exactly where you left it, and whilst you know it couldn't have moved, part of you wishes it had. With shaking hands, you grab the pile of pages, and you can feel your heart racing the very same way it used to when you saw him.

The city lights shine onto you as you finally open the pages, looking at the handwriting you knew all too well. The same handwriting that used to give you butterflies, that used to detail how much it loved you, filling pages with adoration. 

Now you're not so sure what it entails. But you read anyway, ignoring every screaming signal telling you to stop.

///////////

Hi darling,

I know I don't have the right to call you that anymore, but I can't bring myself to call you anything else. It's been a few months since we've spoken, and I've felt every minute of it. I've filled notebooks writing about you, writing to you. I must have practised this letter a dozen times, and I know this still won't be right. 

So, instead of trying to write the perfect letter, I've ripped out some pages from my journal. My therapist told me to write like I was speaking to you, so that's what I did. I’m sure she would be pissed that im sending this at all, but I need to do this for us. To remember what we once were. 

Anyway, I hope it makes you understand what this time without you has been like for me. You can ignore this letter completely and I wouldn't blame you. I won't hold it over you if you burn it and never look back. But if you do read it, I just need you to know im sorry. For everything.

(3 weeks without you)

To say the past couple of weeks have been hell for me is beyond an understatement. There is this festering part of me that thinks I will love you forever, and the knowledge that we will never be like we once were kills me, but it has to kill me. Because if I felt anything other than agony, I would come crawling back to you, and you don't deserve that. And I know that. But fucking hell, that doesn't make it hurt any less.

You know me, I don't know what it's like to have surface-level emotions. I either feel it all, or I feel nothing. and with you? I fucking felt it all. I felt every touch, every smile, every fight, every screaming match ending in tears. I fucking felt it. and for some reason- I'm still thankful for it. because at least I felt you.

I wonder if you're at the point where you miss me when you hear my name. And I can't help but think about you hearing my songs, do you change the station? Even if they're about you? But if I’m honest, they're all about you. Every one of them. Even before I knew you, they were about you.

(a month and a half)

I wish you could forgive me. I think if I knew you didn't hate me, I could move on. Or maybe it would do the opposite. I don't know. All I do know is, I miss you. 

(2 months)

Sometimes I miss you so much I can't handle it. I go driving and find the places we used to go, I sit there, and I can still hear your laugh. I can feel that all-encompassing warmth that surrounds you. but then someone speaks, or a car horn goes off, and suddenly, it's cold again. I mourn you like you're someone I've lost forever, and in a way, I have.

You know I still feel you every day, everywhere. Because you might have left, but you never really did. I still find your socks down beside the bed, and your hair ties around the house. I accidentally used your shampoo in the shower this week. You know that ridiculous Jasmine one that you pay too much for? 

It was like having you around again, I never thought the small of some shitty shampoo would be the thing that brought it all back to me, brought you back to me. Yet it was. But still, you were gone. 

So apparently, I decided to fall into the breakup trope of crying in the shower. For 45 minutes, which made me feel slightly pathetic. And it didn't help when George knocked on the door and washed my hair again. with my shampoo. But I still find myself smelling jasmine even when it's nowhere near.

You haunt me in ways I never thought possible.

(3 months)

It's 3 a.m., and I can't stop picturing your face. Just knowing you're still out there makes it so much fucking harder. I don't know how to cope knowing you're there and not here, with me. Even months later there's some sick part of me that hopes leaving me was the hardest thing you've had to do. but I hope loving me wasn't. 

I know that's selfish, and that this is all my fault anyway. so I want you to move on, even if it kills me. it's hell thinking that the one person you could never forget is fighting to forget you. 

But I hope you find the love of your life. I hope they make your tea just how you like it, and buy you those crazy expensive candles you love. I hope they will follow you to the ends of the earth, just like I would. even now. 

(3 and a half months)

I want to say you don't know how it feels to miss you, you don't know how hard it is. but I have to keep hoping you miss me just as much. because if you didn't, if you just moved on without a second thought; I couldn't cope. the fact that we will always just be an almost will live with me until the day I die. I don't want you to be an almost. I want you to be an always. but it's over, and I know that. or at least I'm very good at pretending I know that.

(4 months)

Recently, I've been thinking about “what ifs?” Despite my therapist telling me I shouldn't. But you know what it is like after breakups. It's this all-consuming thing, and you can't help but imagine if things were different.

I think in another universe, we worked out. I got over my massive ego, and you worked through your past, and it fixed itself. We got married, had another kid, and got that cat you always wanted. We'd go to Annie's graduation together. Her wedding together. you'd cry as I walked her down the aisle, I'd smile and kiss away your tears. and I know that's not this universe. but fucking hell why can't it be?

(4 and a half months)

My mum misses you. She asked how you were doing today and if I had reached out yet. I got angry at her and stormed out. If only she knew how many times I’d dialled your number and then turned off my phone. Or how many unanswered texts I've sent. 

Annie misses you too, by the way. She's finally stopped asking when you're coming back.

I wish she still asked.

(today)

I don't expect you to read all of this, and if you've just skipped to the end, I don't blame you.

but I'm sending this letter because I think I'm finally at a place where when I think of you, I don't take it as a sign from the universe that we were meant to be together. instead, I think of it as a past life, as proof that we were an almost.

Next time I see you, I hope it doesn't hurt as much as the last time.

Goodbye, my love,

Matty x

///////////

The distinct sound of dripping tears hitting paper was the only noise in the room. You watched helplessly as the ink distorted under the little pools of wetness. A million thoughts race through your mind, and you can't help but fucking hate him for sending this.

How could he do this to you? All you've been doing for months is healing, but he keeps ripping open old wounds carelessly. He has to know you can never go back. You can't trust him.

All you left behind you was a mess. You were both better off this way.

With a scoff, you grab your lighter and cigarettes, stepping onto the balcony with the letter gripped in your shaking hands. You have to flick the lighter a few times before it works, the bitter wind fighting against it. 

But soon the flame comes, you sigh happily, moving it up to the cigarette delicately balanced between your lips. You suck in a deep breath, revelling in the feeling of the smoke filling your lungs. The slight crackle brings you more relaxation than anything else these days, but you still have to fight to ignore the familiarity of the scent.

You flick the lighter again, huffing annoyed as it goes out. Once you see the distinct glow of amber, you don't hesitate before placing it against the paper and watching the pages in front of you burn up.

Ashes sizzle your skin, but you couldn't care less. In fact, you welcome the pain. A sick smile comes across your face, grinning around the now-lit cigarette in your mouth.

Isn't it funny how little words mean, when they're a little too late?

[itspbandjellytime]

The Assistant [Hailee Steinfeld x Fem!Reader] - Chapter 1

Plot: Y/N Waldorf is fresh out of college and her first job is being Hailee Steinfeld's personal assistant, but what Y/N doesn't know is that Hailee is hiding a huge secret from the general public and from her, as her assistant.

Notes: This is a multi-chapter fic, you can also read this on wattpad under the same username "itspbandjellytime". This fanfic is also going to contain NSFW themes in the near future, so if you're under the age of 18 please don't read this. Thank you!

Word count: 1.5k words

[Y/N's POV]

My name is Y/N Waldorf, I am 21 years old and I live in Seattle, Washington, and I just graduated from college a few months ago. After four gruesome years of this course that I didn't like, I am finally free and I get to choose what job I'll have in the future since this is America and it's a free country after all. I got to say College was mentally challenging, but it was worth it after all and I got my degree, which I will probably never use in the future.

My parents, are real estate brokers and they were high school sweethearts. But they're not your typical high school sweethearts where one is a football player and the other is the girl next door, my parents were a bunch of nerds who fell in love and gave birth to two girls. I am the youngest and my sister Kelly, is the eldest. 

If I can talk about their reaction to me graduating college, all I can say is that they were happy that I finished college after ranting to them I want to drop out every five seconds. However they have been bugging me for months to get a job which is annoying at first but I manage to get used to them bothering me at 3 in the morning to get one which I have- well had. I told my parents I've been working at the coffee shop somewhere in our local town, but they told me to get a PROPER job, a job that can pay me well and can give me money to support myself. As if the job at the coffee shop didn't support me when I was in college which it did for some time, I quit my job at the coffee shop a few weeks ago and now I am scouring the internet for a job.

My eyes start to hurt from staring at the screen of my laptop way too long, scrolling through countless job hunting websites, my ears start to hurt as well from the headphones I am wearing and blasting out my playlists as I look for the said job. I start to slowly give up at this point and start to overthink about my life choices until I was on the verge of tears, when all of a sudden I saw something that says: "Urgent! In need of a Personal Assistant, please contact Laura McKinnon." along with her details. I was skeptical at first when I saw the advertisement, I am fully aware about the scams happening which leads to people being in very life threatening circumstances. But with a quick google search, I realized that she works as a talent manager and she's based in California, I feel like this is also a sign from God at the same time. I immediately typed down her e-mail address and sent my resume to Laura, hoping for the best and I don't get scammed.

A few days have passed, I've been checking my e-mail almost everyday to see if I get a word from Laura which I did. According to the E-mail I sent, I am scheduled to have an interview with her via. Zoom the next day. The next day arrived and I was interviewed by Laura through Zoom, once the interview concluded she told me she'll contact me again once I get the job or not. I waited and waited, day and night for a response from Laura. I was desperate to get this job that I started to go to church almost everyday, I was religious for an entire week basically.

One day, while I was in a middle of a run just to count my steps in and getting my blood pumping, my phone starts to ring. I stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and answered the call from an anonymous number "Hello?" I spoke, panting and catching my breath "Hello is this Y/N Waldorf?" The person asked, the sound of the person's voice sounded sweet, feminine, and had a valley girl accent. 

I furrow my brows, checking my surroundings before speaking "Yes, who is this?" I asked.

"This is Laura McKinnon, from the office of Hailee Steinfeld. I am just here to inform you that you got the job as Hailee Steinfeld's personal assistant." Laura said, hold on... Did she say Hailee Steinfeld? Like... THE Hailee Steinfeld?!? I get to work as Hailee Steinfeld's personal assistant?!? I tend not to freak out in the middle of the street knowing I am gonna be a part of Hailee's team. I've looked up to Hailee since I first saw The Edge of Seventeen for the first time and I never looked back since, she is also the reason why I am into women and met one of my closest friends, Jackie.

"Miss Waldorf? Are you still on the line?" Laura asks me, I snapped back to reality and stammered for a bit to find words "Uhm... Yes. Sorry, I was distracted." I responded, chuckling nervously.

"It's all good Miss Waldorf, anyways you will be starting next week. I know you are based in Washington, but if you have any associates around the Los Angeles area, you can stay with them." Laura told me, all did was respond with a nod and a smile on my face "Yes... I will do that, thank you so much." I said as Laura ended the call.

After my run, I headed straight to my apartment and called up my bestfriend Jackie, I know it's crazy that I am calling my internet friend before my parents who have been bugging me to get a proper job. I met Jackie through our shared interest and love for Hailee Steinfeld, thanks to the website "Twitter", I was blabbering about Hailee on the site as usual and then she asked if we can be mutuals on that site  and we have been inseparable ever since also Jackie lives in Los Angeles around West Hollywood so I can crash at her place. 

"Jackie!" I said with a proud tone, running around my apartment like I am a dog who just got the zoomies. 

"Y/N/N! Hey, what's up?" Jackie asks me, I settle down on the couch and clear my throat. 

"Girl guess what?" I ask her, I cant contain my excitement as a huge grin forms on my face.

"What?" She asks me back.

"I got a job!" I exclaimed, not telling her what my job is and who I work for just yet to build the suspense.

"No way, congrats girlie! What job?" Jackie asks.

I clear my throat again, a smirk forms on my face "Personal assistant." I confidently say.

"For?"

"Hailee Steinfeld." I responded, giggling like a teenage girl. I heard Jackie scream on the other line, causing me to laugh at her response "Yes, I am being serious Jackie. And I need to crash at your place." I told her.

"Oh my God sure, you are free to stay at my place... holy shit... You bagged a good job." Jackie compliments me and all I can do is laugh.

"It's insane, I know." I said, smiling "I start next week, and I gotta tell my parents about it as well." I added.

"Well you better tell them, girl." Jackie encouraged me, I can tell that she's leaning against a wall and smiling with her phone on her hand.

"Of course, I'll tell them and I will drive by there tomorrow." I said, ending my call with Jackie.

I told my parents about the job that I got, their reactions were positive and they supportive of me moving from Washington to California the next day. But my grandparents are huge conspiracy theorist believers, they start to talk about random things about the entertainment industry and my parents just shook their heads and told me to ignore them and enjoy my job. And in the words of my mother, she told me that this job is a once in a life time opportunity and I should savor every moment. Which I will, cause I have a feeling that working with your idol will be one of the best experiences I will have in my life time.

I spent the entire day packing my things for California, and It's a good thing that my sister, Kelly is down to look after and live in my apartment for the mean time. I love my sister, I would die for her. 

The next day, I finally left Washington and headed to California. I decided to take my car and drive, it feels like a road trip with yourself and it's very therapeutic. I suggest that you try it, I spent the entire road trip blasting out Taylor Swift, eating convenient store food, sleeping in my car in empty parking spots. 

The trip lasted for 17 hours, and 17 hours later I arrived in sunny Los Angeles. The last time I was in Los Angeles was when I was 15, when I first met Jackie and we saw Hailee live when she opened Charlie Puth. I took time to look around the surroundings as I drove to where Jackie lives, a smile forms on my face and it made me realize that this will be the start of a new chapter of my life and I hope this one will never end.

[zerobaseone-zhanghao]

the coffee shop encounter

This is Part 2. Part 1 will be linked below.

t/w: sugar mommy!reader & sugar baby!Bada, adult!reader & minor!Bada, accusations, little bit of angst

a/n: hi guys! I hope you enjoyed part 1, and if you haven’t read it yet then please read that before you read this but for the best understanding (linked above)!!

=====================================

You hadn’t heard from Bada or her parents in a few days, so you just assumed that they said no and Bada forgot about it, that was until one day you received a phone call from Bada.

“Hi unnie, can you come over to my house today? My address is ***” “sure! I can come, do you need me to bring anything?” “Umm.. I don’t think so” “okay I’ll see you later” “okay bye unnie!”. She sounds cheery, maybe her parents decided in favour of you.

You’re currently in your company building so you decide that it’s probably best to grab some documents before you go just in case Bada’s parents aren’t sure about you.

After grabbing everything that you may need, you get into your car and drive to the address that Bada told you on the phone. It’s a beautiful little house and you gather your belongings before walking up to the door, you quickly fix your clothes before ringing the doorbell, you looked professional as you always do for a day at the company.

Bada opens the door, flashing her gorgeous smile to you and welcoming you in, she points to a pair of slippers she has at the door for you so you slip your heels off and replace them with the comfy slippers before following Bada into the main room where both of her parents are sat.

“Hello Mr and Mrs..” “Lee” the man replies, “ah Mr and Mrs Lee and.. random person it’s nice to meet you, I’m Y/N L/N” “it’s nice to meet you Y/N, this is our lawyer” “so we want to know the basic arrangement first off” “I understand, I would like to support your daughter financially to help her to gain as much experience as possible to help her gain her dream job, all I want in return is to spend time with her” “and about global opportunities?” “I want her to have a look for opportunities that she’d like to do and I’ll pay for the trip and I will go with her, if she’s not comfortable I will get 2 hotel rooms but it’s completely up to Bada”.

“I’ll completely support Bada financially, I’ll pay for her trips, opportunities, dance classes and living expenses, she’ll also have disposable income from me”. “How often would you want to see her?” “At least 1 hour, once a week but it’s completely up to Bada, I am flexible so if there is a week where maybe she’s ill as long as she contacts me to let me know beforehand”.

“Do you have limitations?” “Obviously nothing sexual as she’s a minor and anything that Bada is uncomfortable with is a limit as far as I’m concerned. I would want this to be as comfortable for her as possible”.

“Hmm something seems fishy” “eomma” “you’re a 20 year old millionaire and you’re not a chaebol (nepo baby), how can we be sure you wouldn’t be dragging our daughter into some illegal activity?” “Eomma stop!!” Bada complains before running off to her room. “I understand your concern and I have documents with me which prove I am who I say I am and my profits are correct if you want to see them? I haven’t taken part in identity fraud, embezzlement or tax evasion”.

You hand the documents over to Bada’s parents as they have a look at them. They then hand the documents to their lawyer who confirms that the documents are correct. Bada’s mom holds your hands “Bada has been so excited about this opportunity, now that I’ve made sure that this is safe for her, who would I be if I took this away from her?” “That’s great, thank you!”.

“Could you go fetch Bada from her room?” Bada’s mom asks you “sure I’ll fetch her”. You walk towards Bada’s room, the door labelled with her name and a cute drawing of a wave to match. You knock on the door, “Bada, you okay?” The door is unlocked so you walk in to see Bada lying on her bed facing towards the wall so you can’t see her face.

“Bada” you lay a hand on her shoulder and she flips round to face you. She has obvious tear stains on her cheeks and red eyes. “Aw honey, it’s okay” you give her a hug, “I just can’t believe that my parents would accuse you of something like that”. “It’s okay baby, I completely understand your parents, you’re their little girl, they just want to protect you”.

She hugs you tightly, “I’m glad I’m not going to lose you”, “me? Or this opportunity?” “No you unnie, I noticed you as well in the cafe and I thought you were pretty and when you spoke to me I thought you were really nice and soft spoken”. “That’s so cute Bada, you’re so sweet” “do you think my parents would mind if I kissed you?” You chuckle, “I think so, I’m an adult and you’re a minor, I don’t think they’d be very impressed”. Bada leans closer, “well unnie, to be honest, I don’t care what they think” she turns her head and moves even closer, kissing your lips.

“Bada” “please be quiet unnie” she kisses your lips again. You can’t take it anymore and you pull her closer by her waist and kiss her passionately. Good thing her parents didn’t see.

[sunnys-aesthetic]

Hello!

I'm not sure if you're still answering asks concerning your DCA Detective AU, so if you're not, feel free to ignore.

My question is: Who is this Pops? If I got it right, he's the boys' creator who died "due to health complications".

What was his relationship like with the boys, Eclipse especially? I assume there's some good stuff, as I remember you mentioning that Eclipse learnt some engineering skills from him, and decided to find out more behind his death (is that right? And that is what got him mad, infected, and a mafia boss in the first place?)

What is Pops' backstory? Is it something dark, that led to his death, like the past coming back to get him (what if he didn't die because of health issues but of something else and that was just a cover???).

And also...

Here to say that I really appreciate your work and art, I love the AUs you've come up with! Looking forward to seeing more of our favourite detectives and faes! And... this might be a bit of a sore topic, but I read the earlier ask about Sleuth Jesters and Naffeclipse. I feel so awed with how you handled it. I understand how people feel when something of theirs is used by another person, and even with credit they are not the more popular one. I don't think its my place to say this, but I'm proud with how you managed it. I don't know what goes on out of the phone, off the screen, but I admire your strength with this issue. It's great to know you're getting more recognition for this wonderful idea you brewed! And your art, scrumptious!

Of course, if all this makes you uncomfortable, you are welcome to ignore and delete.

Sending hugs <3

Woah! I just wanna say first and foremost: thank you for liking my stories and my characters! sorry it took me so long to respond, I have lots going on always all at once but since I’m taking today off to just unwind I’ve finally got a moment to type this up,

There’s toons of questions here to let me address them all!

1. Pops is indeed an old man who created sun, moon, and eclipse! Think of him as the Geppetto who created his own Pinocchio’s.

2. Pop’s story was definitely not dark at all, but it’s not to say he didn’t have some life struggles here and there. He was a mechanic, an engineer and a brilliant man, he simply wanted to show everyone bots could be taught just as humans can grow.

3. He was a very beloved man and mechanic in the small section of the city he lived in, basically everyone in the block and knew him or recommended his shop to get your repairs done at!

4. Im still undecided on his fate, but the gist of it was that pops discovered the mega corporation that was fazbear.co was doing shady business and human experimentation on their robots (along with some cold cases on various children) , and planned to tell his local paper, which he did! And while it gained traction, almost a month after a ‘accidental fire’ took place in his shop and it is assumed he died in it because his body wasn’t recovered. He just went missing :( along with any evidence that could incriminate the corporation.

5.eclipses and pops relationship was really close! they were family and eclipse saw him as a father figure :) . Eclipse became a detective, looked after his brothers and they kept the shop (they had to rebuild it) and was promoted to head chief , and sun and moon also grew up to be detectives, the best in their courses of course! Basically it was tough but things were actually starting to look bright and hopeful again.

Lastly, from the bottom of my heart thank you for your kind words. And I’m a little embarrassed honestly , I’ve never heard someone say they admire mE but//! Thank you!! (//`ー´//)

I’m giving you the biggest hug back!

[soov]

MOOT GAME: " make up a trope for your moots and their biases. doesn’t need to be romantic. can be crackfic/funny/anything you want

OMG OMG IM ACC SO HAPPY I LOVE THIS KIND OF ASKS (only doing some of my moots that i feel that fit these tropes 🙏 plus Yeah anon sorry..... i am not the best one w crackfics as u can see)

@isoobie : heeseung & strangers to lovers (hs bball au)

based on today’s heejay vid where jay says that hee fits the “treats everyone nicely but doesn’t know to talk to women” and heebot LMFAO imagining a hs au where he’s the popular basketball player who shares most classes with her, and has a crush on her. the whole school finds out about his crush and tries to get them together. it ends up with a bunch of students making a circle around them during lunch while heeseung sttuters and blushes the crap out of himself trying to confess, and ri accepts as equally as embarrassed cs who wouldnt 😆😆 the school’s it couple!!!!!!!

@voikiraz : sunghoon & small crochet business

mari w her lil crochet shop making the cutest bags and guess who liked them.... SUNGHOON!!! she packs his order very nicely (like she does to all cs shes the best business owner!!!!!!) but... it ends up arriving all messed up and basically destroyed. he sends her a kind dm in her shop’s insta about the order. when she checks his address, she notices they live in the same city and offers to give him a brand new bag personally. and when she arrives... love at first sight 😊 he’s def buying her whole shop and asking for delivery everytime just to see her!!

@boyfhee : jay & live jazz restaurant

why am i giggling js at the thought!! cael and jay would both go to a nice jazz restaurant every week and after some time of mutual pining, he gains enough courage and asks if he could pay her a drink!! they end up having such a good time together and after exchanging numbers, the next date gets set to jay’s house. and guess what 😂😂 private chef with meals even better than the restaurant’s, slow dances with a glass of wine in the kitchen, and jay playing his guitar after eating & having dessert OOHOHO

@haknom : juyeon & invisible string / dense and worse

Very Fitting!!!!!!! 😆😆 imagining a ton of those almost meeting moments w them like almost met each other at a convenience store, almost met at a morning stroll, almost met during a hangout with mutual friends... and in the end, they bump into each other accidentally someday. when they become friends it’s HELL because juyeon would be like Heyyy kayla 😏😏😅 and she wouldnt know hes flirting and same thing goes to him. they end up connecting the dots somehow and boom! couple 😂😂😂

@jongsie : nicholas & zombie apocalypse

HEHE THIS ONE WOULD BE SUCH A COOL DRAMA rav and nicho who aren’t really that fond of each other but a sudden zombie apocalypse forces them to work together. really angsty cs that’s what rav likes... one of them prob loses an arm or leg and dies in the end... the other suffers so bad!!! pure grief in its worst form. when the apocalypse ends the other digs a little hole in the place that they first met (and that was completely destroyed) and buries an item that one gave them before dying. (whoa i kinda ate with this one)

[witchhazelevesque]

Made up fic title : to Storm or fire

Oooh, hitting hard right out the gate, I love it, thank you for sending this!

So, I'm gonna take a different route than I normally would here

You know junk mail like flyers and sales ads that never get the names right or just say 'to whoever lives here lol yeet'?

So, valgrace future fic, they are Retired (tm), established relationship, they live together, it's all good. They get stuff in the mail like this all the time though, which is so funny to them because Jason like, doesn't exist on paper and Leo only exists on about half the paper. They get a kick out of all the random stuff that ends up in their mailbox.

Lots of banter and giggles, play fighting over who gets what and who things were actually addressed to, a warm and comfortable atmosphere. Maybe a 5+1 format, they get stuff like coupons to the new restaurant opening up down the block and bicker about who gets the free drink with a purchase of an entree, limit one per table, they mark up the sales flyer for their grocery store instead of making an actual shopping list, etc.

Basically, they just make everything fun because they can and they're making up for lost time.

Bonus, Jason gets all soft and melty whenever he receives something referring to him as "Jason Valdez", because he likes the sound of that and knows how much Leo's mother's name means to Leo.

Alternatively:

Canon divergence where both Leo and Jason have died and while on a quest, Piper ends up in a situation where she gets the chance to talk to one of them, but only one.

Overall, it's okay because she knows that whoever she picks will pass on the message to the other, but it's so bittersweet. (She picks Leo, because she didn't do that enough when he was alive.)

[imaginewarehouse]

Marcus White x Fem!Reader || Oneshot

Plot: On a typical evening walk of yours around the neighbourhood (Which is generally just fine, of course. You love your walks. Its normal, and perfectly safe!) you start to notice... a man. Following you. No matter how many turns you make, he continued to be just a few metres behind you, on the same side of the road as you.

As you're starting to really panic, over the sound of you heart beating hot and loud in your ears, you realise Marcus from work lives near here (He of course had written his address on the female staff bathroom wall at some point) and you go straight there.

Warnings: Stalking. Or basically, just being followed by a strange man in the evening when its getting dark. After that though its just a butt load of unadulterated Marcus fluff! ^^ Also unedited so far

Tags: @flowercrowns-goodvibes and @one-edgy-bitch

🔆  🔆  🔆

I turn round another corner, the blood in my ears having started to pump louder and hotter then necessary the moment I noticed the man- before I realised he was following me, even. Now it aches, and my heart's beating like a steam train against my rib cage, and I feel like I might throw up. Its been 10 minutes, and no matter how many unnecessary turns I make, the figure wont disappear. I feel like I'm being hunted. I don't want to go back home and lead him to where I live, but I also feel sick to my stomach being out here.

Where he can grab me.

And I feel like I'm too scared to properly fight back, if he does. You always imagine, that you can just kick or punch an attacker if it happened to you but no one ever mentions how the fear sucks all the strength out of you and makes it impossible to even clench your fists. Makes you useless.

Helpless.

I take a deep breath, careful to not show it though. How am I going to get out of this? Exhaling, my breath stutters and I panic that he saw it. He knows I know. He knows I'm scared. Am I going to get out of this?

I don't dare think about what state I might be in if I do get out of this, attacked. That's not going to happen.

What do I do, though? What do I do? What do I do?

Chewing on my bottom lip, I think hard. I could pretend to be on a phone call, or actually call someone? But then whoever's following me might panic and speed up whatever plans they have, so I just grip my phone in my hand, hanging at my side. My earplugs are long forgotten around my neck so I can hear the footsteps, but I haven't put them away.

Where's the nearest shop? 20 minutes away.

What are the chances that any of these houses will be housing someone worse then the guy behind me? Right now, that chance seems higher then what, rationally, I know it must really be.

Another deep breath forces my chest to rise and my eyes to redden this time. God, I am not handling this well. I need to be cooler. I need to calm the fuck down.

But that thought just seems to make it worse, as tears of fear start to fill my eyes.

Help.

Suddenly, as I round another corner and catch sight of the dark, empty Daycare sitting there on the other side of the road- I all of a sudden realise where I am.

I mean, I knew where I was. Where I am. I know how to get home from here and how to get to the shops, but suddenly something else clicks in my head. A sanctuary representing unlikely hope.

Marcus lives around here. Marcus from work. I remember, because he wrote his damn address on the bathroom wall inside the womens' one time and it had registered in my head because, hey, that's in my neighbourhood!

In fact- its around this next corner. If I can only make it on these terrified jelly legs, then I can gladly brave the awkwardness of barging into a colleagues home to get some help. Taking another deep breath of the fresh, crisp, cheek-burning evening air as the world gets even darker around us - me, and him, - and then letting it go slowly, I gradually pick up my pace.

When I finally get around the corner, is when my heart really stops beating for a moment.

Because I see the house. Number 12, right there on the left. 4 houses down.

But also, because a perfectly average, run-of-the-mill, one-of-the-many kind of voice calls out, muffled through his scarf, for me.

Just a quick, "Hey!", so I ignore it even as my insides feel like they're all trying to rush out every available orifice of my body and my legs threaten to buck out from underneath me. Please, please keep going. Please, legs. I'm honestly begging you here. Keep me up, now. I need you right now. Please, please, please...

"Hey!" He calls again when I don't respond and pretend I didn't hear him, and speeds up behind me. Oh god, now my body wants to sprint but I force myself to keep my pace. "Girl!"

All heat, and probably all the colour too, has drained from my face. My fingers have lost feeling. All I know, all I can think now is I'm not going to die. I'm not going to die. I'm not going to die.

And that's not a totally... comforting, thought.

Then I reach the house I was aiming for and nearly trip over turning course down the driveway to race to the door, the porch light turning the bricks orange in the dark. I knock maybe a little too hard against the wooden door. But I wouldn't really know, my hands are numb.

I glance back at the man for the first time fully and watch him walk across the path by the house, as I hear shuffling beyond the door. He keeps glancing at me as he passes and every time he does, I think he's going to rush at me like a wild beast-

But then the door opens.

And he keeps walking.

~

"Y/N? Uhh, wow, this is a surprise." The familiar, albeit usually annoying voice causes my muscles to immediately soften and I dare to turn my back on the path, facing Marcus. Tall, broad shouldered, and most importantly yes, occasionally weird, but nevertheless harmless, Marcus. My own shoulders relax; I'm safe, I tell myself. Or try to. But my body is still in a confused state between freeze and flight. "What brings you to my pad?" He grins broadly, easily excitable. Like a Labrador.

"Um- c-can I please come in? I- there was a man, and- " I cant even force out the words. They feel fresh, and fake, even though I can still feel the fear rushing through my veins instead of blood. Am I shaking? God, I'm shaking.

"Y-yeah, come on in." Through whatever is usually going on in his head that I have yet to delve into, even after working with him for over a year, he seems to notice how truly shaken up I am and steps to the side so I can walk in. He closes the door behind me and I wipe my face, feeling safer. "Uh, do you want something? I got, uh... well, my mom's outta town so I mostly have, like... beer. But I think we have tea, too?"

"Um... that's okay... " I don't want to embarrass myself any more by dropping the tea cup because my fingers were shaking too badly. That would be exactly what I need to top off the night to make it freaken perfect. "Thank you... "

"Living room's this way." He nods, guiding me around a corner into a room that looks just like you would imagine an old ladies livingroom to look like. Floral couch, 2 armchairs with the skirts around the bottom, carpet, and some porcelain cats here and there. Marcus, in his white t-shirt and boxers, looks odd and informal in the middle of it all, but comfortable. He turns around and gestures towards the couch for me to take it, "Sit down, uh, relax. I'm just gonna put on some pants. Be right back!"

I nod, sitting down and feeling myself relax immediately as he rushes outta the room and hear him loudly bang bang bang all the way up the stairs. The sound even makes me release a nervous, lighthearted laugh. Ohhhh, lord...

Wiping my face and then brushing my hair back, I take a deep breath and look around the room some more. There's a couple beer cans around the place, as if Marcus has had a party though I know its more likely that this is just a visual guide to to where, in this room, he's been hanging out all week. At the coffee table a couple of times, at the mantle once, and on the floor.

There's also a PlayStation hooked up to the TV here, looking totally out of place in the old lady style room. The remote is attached to the charger, on the creamy carpet in front of the entertainment centre along with a bag of chips- he must have been playing before I turned up.

When Marcus comes flying back down the stairs, eager as ever for company though he is, I feel guilty as hell for interrupting his evening. He plops down heavily on the other side of the couch, giving me plenty of space but wanting to be close by, and I turn with a remorseful sort of look on my face. "I'm so sorry for barging in- "

"Hey, I don't mind." He gives a, excited shrug. "Happy for the company! You wanna play Smash Bros?"

... The fact that this man used to be in prison, baffles me. He's like a puppy dog, and honestly? The grin on his face is kinda infectious. So, when I should have said no thank you and called a cab to get home, I instead gave a gentle smile and said, "... Sure."

~

"Hm, thats another win for me... " I tease carefully, setting the remote back onto my lap, turning my head to Marcus who's got his jaw on the floor and his eyes glued to the TV screen. "What, surprised?"

"How'd you get so good??!"

Giggling, I shake my head and shrug. "I like this game."

"Yeah, I see that." He insists, but there's nothing mean or upset about it- just in awe. And it makes you feel warm inside. After digging into the bag of chips at his side and collecting himself a huge handful, he offers you the bag. "Chip?"

"Oh, I love (Chip flavour). Yes please!" I dig in and get a smaller handful, but still a handful, and put them in my other open hand while Marcus just plays that dangerous game of pulling various chips out of his grip and hopes they don't all fall out on the couch like edible Jenga.

Through a mouthful, which makes me chuckle and shake my head, he gives a nod. "No problem,"

Who knew I'd like hanging out with Marcus so much?? I'm having a great time. He doesn't put pressure on me at all, and it turns out the two of us share a lot in common, surprisingly. I should have taken him up on his offer to get drinks a long time ago. So, when he asks if I'd like him to drive me home or if I wanna stay over... cuz like, the guy might still be around or whatever... I feel butterflies (The good kind) flutter around in my chest, and nod. I mean, I certainly don't feel like going out there again tonight, whether its in a car or otherwise.

"Okay! Awesome, uh- C'mon, lets getcha a pillow." Marcus exclaims, excited again, before patting my arm and getting up. Pushing off the couch, I follow him deeper into the house , up the stairs and into what must be his room... the walls are painted blue, the bed - covered in cars bed sheets, - isn't made, its a huge mess and his work coveralls are strewn over a motorcycle style desk chair. Just, basically, exactly how you might imagine Marcus' bedroom to look like- humorously so. I find it kind of cute.

While he's rifling around the place looking for a clean pillow and a blanket, I peak around some more. Until something makes me gasp. "Is that your mug shot???"

"Uh yeah, my mom's got another copy on the fridge." Marcus replies, not turning around as I pick up the framed photo and grin at it. He looks so unimpressed, or like he's trying to look unimpressed but is really shitting himself, but still... somehow good? Handsome?

How??????????????

Also, the fact that Mrs White stuck it up on the fridge, too? Priceless.

After setting the frame back down where you found it, Marcus turns around with a pillow and a blanket, handing you the pillow - which smells very strongly of some kind of body spray, the kind that guys think will get them laid, - before I realise how close we've ended. He seems to notice too, the tips of our feet mere inches from eachother, and he grins as I feel my heart pound heavily against my chest for the second time tonight, and the pillow I'm hugging. This time, though, I don't mind the feeling.

He's still handsome, I think, peaking up at him over the pillow. Maybe even more so, in person.

And my inhibitions are low, due to him also being my knight in shining armour, tonight.

That only means-

"Uhhh... So can I sleep on the couch?" That means I have to be a strong adult and force myself to make some good decisions tonight. Starting with deescalating this situation and stepping back.

"Yeah, or you could... you know... sleep in my bed? With- with me??" Marcus suggests, in a sort of odd mixture of nervous and confident. Kinda dumb. But its cute and hard to resist.

"Uhh... "

"We don't have to do anything," He's quick to add, assuring you with a smirk, before chuckling and rubbing the back of his neck. Fuck!! When guys do that its just... game over. I can actually feel all sense leaving my body- "I mean, I want to. But I just thought... this was going kinda well, and uh... honestly I like you. A lot. So I was thinking... maybe... "

"I mean... sure."

"What?" He looks shocked, and so am I but I just give a smile. I have had a bad night, and cuddling with Marcus can only make it better.

"Yeah, why not?" Stepping back to him, I peer up at him. "I kinda like you too, so... "

That caused a big grin to slip across his face. "Fuck yeah!"

~

10 minutes later I've changed into a clean shirt of Marcus' that has Jason Voorhees' on it - partly because I'm sure neither of us will be tempted to break the mans 'premarital sex' ban with him between us, - and slip under the covers, laying down and beginning to get comfortable before Marcus goes and just scoops me right up against him.

I relax immediately, taking a deep breath and wrapping my arms back around him, and burying my face in his t-shirt. He's changed into pyjama pants, now, along with his plain white shirt, and he's so cute I'm tempted to wrap one of my legs over him.

... So I do, hooking a leg over his hip and sighing, eyes closed and feeling him give a sigh of his own at me wrapping myself around him like a damn monkey. He even hitches my leg more securely over him so we're chest-to-chest, and his chin rests on my head. I'm so warm, and snuggly, and-

-there is no doubt in my mind that I'm going to be flustered as hell when I wake up in the morning. I mean, this is impulsive, and kinda dumb, definitely but it also feels really good. So, for tonight, I'll be impulsive, and kinda dumb.

[rhysiana]

“this can’t be love”, Nursey/Dex, OMGCP, for @gayowulf

This is a snippet of a speedrun edition of a very long fic that lives in my head and is probably never going to get fully written the way I intended, in which Dex inherits a house from his great-aunt several years after graduation.

I can’t WRITE here, Nursey texted the group chat in extreme frustration. He’d been trying not to complain, because his parents were basically giving him a free sabbatical year to work on his book while they were working overseas (again) and he didn’t want to seem ungrateful, but it’d been a week since he produced real words and he was starting to go out of his mind.

Chowder: Oh no! You can do it!!!

Bitty: Do you need inspirational baked goods? What kind of theme are you going for? I can pop a box in the mail to you tomorrow!

Jack: *link to an internet-blocking timer app*

He sighed and tossed the phone on the couch before he could find out what kind of spreadsheet solution Ransom & Holster would come up with. At least they all cared.

His phone buzzed again and he picked it up, frowning at lack of obvious new message in the chat until he realized it was a text direct from Dex. An address in Maine, nothing else.

Nurse: ???

Dex: You can’t write because your place is too empty and quiet. I have a guest room. I can guarantee it won’t be too quiet here. Obvious solution.

Nurse: Weren’t you living in Boston tho???

Dex: Long story, tl;dr now I live in Maine again.

Dex: Are you coming or not?

Nurse: Do you mean it?

He regretted that last text as soon as he sent it. After all these years, he knew full well Dex didn’t make offers like this unless he meant them. But he did also remember the last time they’d tried living in the same place. Dex’s response made it clear he knew exactly where Nursey’s thoughts had gone.

Dex: It’s not like we’d be living in the same room, and I’m definitely not putting my life on hold to host you or whatever. You can just come for the weekend and see if it helps.

Nurse: Okay.

Nursey sat on the couch staring at Dex’s final thumbs up emoji for a while, wondering what just happened.

~*~*~

(Further things I know about this fic: Dex quit his soulless corporate IT job when he inherited the house. He ends up with a bunch of random odd jobs around town: handyman on call through his uncles’ repair shop, bartender at the bar now owned by a high school friend, unofficial after-school tutor for half the neighborhood kids in his kitchen/dining room. The room Nursey is using was the guest room and then more permanent bedroom of Dex’s great-aunt’s Boston marriage partner after her health declined, and is full of her garden journals, giving him a lot of feelings about really noticing the passage of time and seasons. Nursey stays a lot longer than a weekend, and the suggested title line comes into play when he looks around and realizes that Dex doing very concrete and practical things for the people in his life is how he shows he cares.)

[sixofcrowdaydreams]

There's a handful of reasons I relate to Wylan so strongly, but one of them has to be the unique experience of being an illiterate adult.

A few years ago, right before the pandemic, I moved across the world to work in a country where I didn't speak the main language. None of the languages commonly spoken in my new home uses the Latin alphabet so attempting to read and pronounce any letters/words in an unfamiliar writing system has been difficult.

Just don't be ignorant, you might think. Learn the language! For the record, I did. Well, I started to, but then the pandemic hit. My language class stopped and strict quarantines limited opportunities to practice. Two years and two babies later the world opened back up. Work and my tiny dictators, I mean, toddlers have kept me too busy to throw myself into learning the language with the gusto I once had. But over the years I've learned enough to get by with basic pleasantries: hello, goodbye, thank you, yes, no. Numbers 1-10. And how to order food at a restaurant. "How are you?" "Good." Unfortunately, that’s the limited extent of my conversational abilities.

The alphabet still trips me up and I often feel like a kindergartner slowly stringing syllables together and incorrectly sounding out words. Plus, there's the bonus of pronouncing the words but still not knowing they actually mean.

So I relate to Wylan a little bit in having to navigate the world at a disadvantage, one he cannot fully understand. Luckily for Wylan he can speak even though he can’t read, which gives him more coping strategies than are available to me. But you don’t realize just how much is written, especially in the modern world, until you are unable to read it.

Being an illiterate adult is a humbling experience. I cannot emphasize that enough. Book Wylan is a teenager, but was thrown into the “real world” and left to fend for himself as if he were an adult. Show Wylan is an illiterate adult who was also more or less thrown into the wild world. And I’d like to imagine that he shares similar illiterate adult encounters and experiences with me.

There isn’t a moment that I forget that I can’t read the language around me. However, it’s very easy to tune out the writing. To be blind to it and not see signs or labels because my brain stops looking for them, unable to to understand them.

Getting lost. Knowing the name of the place, a building, an address, the street that I'm searching for, but not being able to locate it by sight even though it is right there.

Walking past shops and stores unable to read their name and wondering what’s inside. What do they sell? What business do they hold? There’s no way of knowing unless I go inside myself.

Shopping and buying items based on the image on the packaging. Trying to figure out if there’s any difference between two items. Occasionally guessing wrong, buying the wrong thing.

Need instructions? Written directions (like for cooking)? Lol, Guess I'm going to wing it and hope for the best.

Being unable to read a written menu and ordering something generic because the restaurant probably serves it.

Putting off chores that require using the skill I don't have.

Having to act overly polite to everyone (regardless of how I feel) because I am the inconvenience when everyone else is just living their normal life.

Being treated like a child because, in my inability to read, I have the skills of a child so people will treat me the same way they would a child. And worse, all the while still having to act so polite about it because again, I am the inconvenience, even though I am being spoken down to like a child.

Accidentally, unintentionally being rude because I can't follow the sign's directions.

Pretending that I can read (or speak). Sometimes nodding along and agreeing with without any context is easier than a admitting I don't have a clue what's happening.

And in the modern day... I rely heavily on my cell phone to translate the way Wylan would use speech to text features. And there are times when there's no cell service, the phone or app stop working correctly. The translations/transcriptions are imperfect and confusing. It's scary when those safety nets stop working.

So yeah, being an illiterate adult is quite the experience. It can be exhausting. I am incredibly lucky that in my case it's due to living in a multicultural world and that given the time and patience, I could became literate and fluent in another language. The entire experience gives quite the insight on the hurdles and experiences Wylan might face.

[mycochaotix]

hi mycopal :) I'm enjoying your blog and admiring your set up, seems very hightech. I'm also reading about cultivating a local (Australian) psilocybin variety we often find in pine forests. Could you point me in the right direction for more info to get started with a simple at home set up for beginners? thanks again for your good work :)

Hello there mycopal! Thanks for reaching out! I appreciate your kind words :) I’m super proud of my lab area! It has taken two years to put together by saving 25-50 a paycheck lol!! Humorously my roommate doesn’t like that i commandeered a whole room … haha, but here we are ;) What mushy are you looking to cultivate? Pscilocybe Tampensis or P. subtropicalis maybe? :)

note: my opinions and advice are based on my own experience and studious research :) there are MANY ways to skin things with… skin… lol; as such, my way should work for most but may not and there are many other mycoeducators with varied approaches that offer great insight in their own right :) I have a few vids on youtube (still new to content creating there and working on adding more) if you wanna see more of what I do as I outline it below! At the end of this long winded MCX response I will provide supportive resources for your consideration in order they are addressed in this response.

🍄Tip: get some nasalpharyngeal swabs so you can actively swab and store mushroom genetics you find in the wild for later reararch ;)

Pretext: I live in a (technically) tropical area so what i do with my research areas may be different than you! I am not sure how much of what im about to detail has been considered by you… but if youve considered it then disregard :) i like to break things down like you’re new new new incase theres any detail to miss.

Introductory Answering your Q: Basically you have to consider a handful of generalized steps for cultivating any fungus; and find TEKs (ie: guides by other mycopal’s that have yielded them success) and make your own tek— I always say that the mycojourney is coming up with your own tek, cobbled together from current teks that speak to you and also are appropriate for your resource availability :) after you get through my response you’ll have homework of studying resources but also: finding TEKs for your specific strain you want to work with :)

My preferred supplies-

Genetics: Dont know about the laws and availability where you live, but formal vendors (like innoculatetheworld ; sporeworks) and informal mycoeducators (who sometimes vendor spores) like PGT and Boomershroomer; are the only spore sources I trust (outside of my own stock;).

Boomershroomer makes quality inflatable monotubs and if you order one of her tubs she sends genetics with it! A little ‘secret’ ;) to be aware of!

PGT has a shop online thats only open sometimes but has a cool collectible trading card system for his genetics (buy the card get the microscopy supply with the card).

ITW and SW are generally up 24/7 and are more formal vendors that also sell microscopy stuff.

I currently use and recommend using 6qt shoebox totes for grow container (the kind that you buy in 5-10 packs from Walmart that have gusseted lids that allow some air flow for ‘sneakers’ to be stored hehe). Note that you can use 12/24/48/72qt etc, but I have no experience with those and they require larger set ups with fans, humidifiers, etc. i prefer less is more :)

I always promote a company called Microppose :) they do amazing filters and just started their own monotub production I think :) my fave substrate is CocoBliss coconut coir pith, and I use lab grade nutritional additives like: gypsum, lime, malt extract, and yeast off amazon in various stages of my process. For grain bags, before I made my own, I only trust: spawnmagic.com ; for my grains I use Producers Pride: Whole Oats (like what is given to horses) from the feedstore :) a 50lb bag has lasted me two years, no lie. I dont use bags, but jars for grain: i use brand: Ball, glass mason jars for spawn containers prior to moving spawn into a tub with substrate. I use Aozita wide mouth masonjar plastic lids (off Amazon) for my jars as they can be modified with filters and then pressure cooked safely and come with rubber seals :)

Now to go into detail to answer your question:

Here we go-deep breath-: lets talk cultivation and research starting:

1. Genetics: (a) multi spore syringe (mss) (can be injected into a grow bag but isnt ideal and may not produce viable strains) (recomended to use mss on agar to isolate your own colonies), (b) spore print/swab (requires agar) or (c) liquid culture (LC) isolate syringe (best option for immediate injection-inoculation of grain containers/bags with best chance for healthy growth and fruiting without time and hassle of the steps I outline further :)

1a. If you are able to work with agar (either make your own or buy premade sterilized, one time use agar plates): then you will start your journey by MSS->Agar->Isolate separate germinating colonies off mss agar plate to new plates (those become your mother isolate plates for each specific strain isolate for whatever strain youre working with). The mother plate should become your cold storage, reference plate as you study growth and fruiting characteristics of the colonies you isolate :) at that pont: You can then use some excised pieces of the mother plate (if in a rush, or if able to wait, till gen1 plates (transfers from mother plate to new plates that become duplicate isolates of the mother plate)) to inoculate a jar or two and also inoculate other plates to continue to ‘run the mycelium out’ / ‘chase the mycelium’.

1b. If you are not able to do agar work then I strongly suggest you seek genetics that are LC syringe. Basically, LC syringes are when mycopal takes a 2nd gen+ plate and moves some of that mycelium to sterile sugar water and lets the mycelium grow out in that water till its all filled with reproduced mycelium and can be sucked up into syringes for better more assured propagation of genetics ;)

Side thought: Spore swabs and spore syringed are dice rolls :) [Spore germination discussion incl quote from TMC- https://at.tumblr.com/mycochaos/uscrybal-commented-on-a-comment-i-made-quoting/pjzr0c86nlyt]

2. Grain spawn: once you have genetics hammered out, next is grain spawn. Grain spawn can be … well, any grain. Really. Mushrooms can colonize and fruit off of wet cardbord… 💯🍄😂, so what “type” of spawn is more about whats available in your area imo. Youll need to sterilize any grain spawn, unless using a premade bag thats already sterilized or taking chances with uncle bens (or similar) rice baggies that arent sterilized but are arguably cleaner than grains scooped out of a bags of grains from a mill or feedstore.

2a. Grain bags: milo, millet, rye berries, corn kernals, rice, whole oats, really any grain or berry that has a husk can be used :) some species prefer specific grains most work on all kinds of grains with varying levels of efficiency. Some grains are more or less robust and some do better when moistened and or pressure cooked than others :) i make my own grain but exclusively use glass mason quart jars :)

2b. Grain jars: my preference. I have recent grai. Jar prep and creation reels/shorts on my instagram and some on this tumblr if you wanna see specifics :) generally I do 15psi, 10 minute venting, for 1.5 hours for my grain and I do not soak grains, only low boil them for 30 min to soften husks and extract some grain nutrients to then use that liquid ‘grain soak’ run off for agar nutrients :)

2c. Uncle Bens rice bags: i dont do this and dont have any good advice on it. I have a UB tek link or two at end for consideration and there is a whole reddit mushroom sub i think r/unclebens (?) for this

2d. All in one bags: i also do not use these and do not recommend them generally. If you have never had a flush and are literally first timing it, then all in one may work fine :) but as much of the process you can source or create yourself the cheaper and often better, imo!

3. Substrate & Spawn-to-bulk (S2B): many mycopals have their own substrate preferences, but for me I prefer shaved coconut coir pith. I generally do a coir block 650g, 500g vermiculite (from garden store), and 50g gypsum + 50g lime for my substrate. I do not sterilize it, but I do heat pasteurize my substrate for at least 12 hours. In an air tight, insulated cooler (like for sodas at a party). You can also cold pasteurize. I like how Boomershroomer and PGT do their sub and learned from them then tweaked it for my own preferences :)

When my jars are fully colonized and observably free from contam, I will S2B using a clean butter knife :) I kinda cut down into the grain in pizza slices then swirl the knife around as I let grains that spill out mix with my substrate and basically do 1qt spawn to 2qt of substrate, saving maybe 10-15% of the spawn and substrate till end to make a special psuedo casing layer once bulk of spawn and substrate are mixed and compacted. Then I do a last sprinkling of the remaining grain like a baby lasgana and cover that with substrate.

Casing layer explainer: A casing layer is a layer of material applied on top of the colonized substrate in mushroom cultivation. It can help improve yield, reduce certain types of surface contaminants, and maintain humidity around the fruiting bodies. In my experience, using an organic sphagnum peat moss mixed with lime powder and filtered water has produced successful tubs without the need for pasteurization or sterilization. Before I used that i just used left over substrate as a casing layer :) — While some species require a specific type of casing layer after substrate colonization, most do not require one. However, adding a casing layer can be beneficial for improving yield and humidity control.

There are different ways to apply a casing layer. Some people apply it as part of the spawn to bulk (S2B) process, while others apply it only after the substrate surface is fully colonized or slightly before pinning. Personally, I have used a casing layer when colonizing pasteurized wheat/rye straw to provide an even fruiting surface for mycelium. I have also experimented with an organic peat and lime dust casing layer (no pasteurization or sterilization), which has helped retain humidity and has not resulted in any contamination. Personally, I've worked some APEs in that past that had a casing layer applied in the same instance as the S2B occuring, essentially the compacted bits colonized faster than the looser casing layer. Where I always use casing layer, is if I use spawn to colonize pasteurized wheat/rye straw, if only to provide an even fruiting surface for the mycelium! But, even then... most cubensis can fruit solely on pasteurized straw, with no casing layer!

4. Colonization and Fruiting:

4a. Youll need to find a TEK based on whatever substrate container you settle on using :) what ive outlined so far is my own tek, using 6qt shoe boxes and the materials ive outlined above. The substrate chamber/container can be a flat container/tote or could be fruited out the top of a grain bag/all-in-one bag OR could fruit off the side of a bag (if its a species like Oyster mushies that prefer side fruiting). I personally use unmodified tubs and will leave lid on my tubs while colonizing and then take lid off and replace with cleaned, upside down, misted 6qt tub that rests on the edges of the right-side-up tub to create a mini climate that allows more passive air flow, allows light to filter in from high angles promoting fruits growing upwards towards the light. Light isnt needed until pinning, and is a secondary trigger to pinning but a primary factor in pigmentation of fruits and growth direction of fruits.

Colonization of most mushroom fruiting fungi is generally between 68-80F, every species and even some varieties within those species, may have specific temp needs. The way mycopals control for this is many things that I dont have to use fortunately :) ‘Martha Tents’ are something to consider. Some use heating pads and humidifiers depending on where they live and where they are compared to the sea💯. I dont have any experience with martha tents or doing more than using my home A/C, a closet, and a heppa room filter to control my temps in the closet and with lots of trial and error…. I now leave my home at 72F, my closet warms to about 74 with the door shut and a/c at that temp, so i let plates, jars and tubs colonize at 74F and then I will move the tubs to open closet with more air flow and is closer to 72F when I am moving to fruiting :) Ive tried to be clever in how I use my space… so i use wire racks and know higher up on the rack is hotter and less air flow whereas lower is cooler and often more air flow.

Something I havent really gone into yet in this response is about sterility, aseptic environments, personal and environmental hygiene. All important to condsider…

4a. Heres my explainer on that:

Strict aespetic and hygiene techniques are not 100% and even using fancy laminar flow is not 100% contamination free potentials! Common contaminant sources include airborne spores, dust, and environmental factors. Pets that roam around your cultivation area could carry spores on their fur or paws, which may be released when they move through your space. Additionally, some fungal contaminants, like Kahms yeast, can present in distinctive ways and there are dimorphic fungal molds that have one or more alternate morphologies, main dimorphism being mold with a secondary yeast form (whence the mold spores get into human lungs, for example with blastomycosis perhaps) as an alternative reproductive presentation within its life cycle (based on temperature and environmental variables). It's essential to understand that spores and other contaminant-genetic cells are incredibly tiny and (in the case of most spores) can suspend in the air, waiting for air currents, light, or vibrations to move them around. Wet spores and bacterial cells oftentimes require animal assistance or liquid splashing/spritzing/spraying to move around, but can often hitch rides of natural environmental variabes (currents of wind, water, dirt, etc). Humans also carry a range of bacteria and fungal organisms on their skin, which can contribute to localized environmental dust and potential contamination when working in hyper sterile or attempted hygienic environments while researching fungi :)

4b: Primordia, Pins and Fruiting: Pinning is a colony activity (that impacts all sides of your cake once colonized) that shifts metabolic processes of the mycelia to pinning and fruiting, this is why when you start getting heavy side pins you rarely get any flat-surface pins and fruits (all the energy goes into what pins form and fruit, first). Additionally, I believe my suggestions will be effective in controlling for environmental triggers to pinning, it is important to note that side pinning can also occur due to other factors such as genetics or substrate composition.

You can reduce the microclimate from being created that promotes side pins, during the process, by ensuring that the substrate is firmly compressed, once S2B occurs, and then sprinkled with a .25" casing layer of the same substrate material (or peat+lime casing). I press my base spawn+cvg mix firmly, and ensuring that the surface is even with least amount of inconsistently level substrate surface. This early compression, keeps the cake against the wall for as longer than doing little to no compression of your spawn+sub. You should ensure your colonizing mycelium isnt exposed to the same lighting you would for fruiting, but light is only a secondary trigger to pinning, FAE+Temp Drop+Humidity pooling/then drying are the primary triggers for pinning once colonization has completed.

5. Harvesting and Dehydrating: i twist and pull my fruits, some will cut at base, some will float their cake with water and then cut or twist and pull at that poimt :) harvesting is preferential imo. I dehydrate fruits 125F for 24 hours in Air Fryer o. Dehydrate mode :)

Resources and foundational TEKs:

Genetics: innoculatetheworld.com, sporeworks,com, boomershroomer.com, pgtmycology,com

Casing layer post w/screencaps: https://www.tumblr.com/mycochaotix/723941213220339712/mycochaos-oldacnt-plzfollownew-one-of-my

Growing gourmet (book): https://drive.google.com/file/d/1-CsyZenWzF8kHLviXM8pencZ4FAHDedh/view?usp=drivesdk

PF tek - Check this site out, gives a great layout of "PF TEK" and also BRF cakes as part of that TEK - https://www.fungifun.org/pmwiki.php/English/Pftek

HOw to make easy (cvg) bulk substrate (boomer shroomer): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7M6YHfaMyQ8&t=3s

how to make plates, slants, and LC - north spore - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4bzQQkh71Q&t=487s

pgt LC basics - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gqwjUq31KgU&t=284s

Southwest mushrooms - mycelium grain spawn and LC - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rxlJJpu3O_g

How to sterilize equipment such as petri dishes - MIcrobehunter microscopy - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MVtEBtxkhGk

mycelium inoculation in the lab - southwest mushrooms - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ng_Wq9PnEVI&t=560s

Mushroom Cultivation, how it should and shouldnt look: https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/17231150

Recognizing and dealing with contamination: https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/23130868

Sterilization vs Pasturization - http://www.differencebetween.net/science/difference-between-sterilization-and-pasteurization/

Mushrooms, Molds and Mycorrhizae: A Fungal Immersion Course Part 1 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dD1IL2dBLQ8

Mushrooms, Molds and Mycorrhizae: A Fungal Immersion Course Part 2 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_bam3tF_a7M

Mushrooms, Molds and Mycorrhizae: A Fungal Immersion Course Part 3 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AiIUGGKjuwU

Mushrooms, Molds and Mycorrhizae: A Fungal Immersion Course Part 4 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLfwruf2xVA

Guide to Oysters, Gourmet, Freshcap - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZAjz6bZjpg

Cooking Oyster mushrooms, TGS - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7qb2KF6kvhA

5 gallon bucket tek - oyster mushrooms - gourmet - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45b2t7fqhjA&t=60s

Mycophilia YT 'All About Aborts' discussion: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9C8x_32Saxg

Bacterial colony morphology - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JZAFUPckUg

Mycelium morphology : how to select healthy mycelium when breeding mushrooms -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=leUpfsonVxc&t=1s

mycotrophic - agar xfers/sectoring off healthiest growth - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMxGwkj9Wn4

DayTrippers Microscopy library of contam and healthy mycelium examples: https://www.reddit.com/r/ContamFam/comments/nnquol/microscopy_of_healthy_mycelium_and_contamination/

PH trich conversation pt 2 DT: https://www.reddit.ccom/r/ContamFam/comments/jldtuw/my_garden_of_contam_free_grow_it_is_all_about_the/

DayTrippers Trip Tips - apply PH casing layer to prevent trich: https://www.reddit.com/r/ContamFam/comments/m3unbr/daytrippers_trip_tips_video_tutorial_on_how_to/

Trich contamfam library: https://www.reddit.com/r/ContamFam/comments/115gyj2/trichoderma_the_green_monster/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

If FAE is a problem: not pinning, getting Cobweb, Stroma Overlay! “READ THIS”: https://www.reddit.com/r/ContamFam/comments/jur5ar/daytrippers_trip_tip_why_cant_i_get_this_if_fae/

DayTripper’s Trip Tips: Two cultivation tricks to solve common problems of insufficient Fresh Air Exchange and Overlay growth in monotubs: https://www.reddit.com/r/ContamFam/comments/10w1yxm/daytrippers_trip_tips_two_cultivation_tricks_to/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

[spaceofentropy]

Brain Weasels! Assemble!

aka: @creepkinginc (hi, Nosho! 💙) tagged me in this thing that @thatoneao3author (hiiii!) concocted, and today the brain is braining the right way, so here we are! With a long long long thing. I made it Gallavich. Maybe if the brain keeps on braining right, tomorrow I'll do another version for another ship, who the heck knows! Not me!

So, the rules (more or less) are:

use this au generator to assign you an au, this fan fiction trope generator to give you a trope/situation/sometimes another au, feel free to keep clicking until you get something that inspires you.

then try to come up with the title, plot, vibe, and details of a fic including whatever the generators gave you. you don’t actually have to write it, just put the concept into the world! this is basically just a thought experiment.

The randomizing gods gave me a Hacker(s) AU and (after a couple of nope tropes, because I don't know shit about Regency, sorry, gods!) on New Year's Day soulmates switch bodies for 24 hours and have to try and figure out who the other person is so they can find them when the time is up.

Title: Words within the margin [I'm terrible at titles but make do with music 😎]

Plot: it's after the cut because it's long! 🫣

Mickey as our hacker. He doesn't think the whole soulmate thing will ever happen to him, so he is well beyond plastered when the New Year starts and the switch happens. He wakes up in a cabin somewhere in the fucking woods, not a car, let alone a road or even dirt path, near it. He's in the middle of fucking nowhere. Not happy about it. Oh, and this weirdo doesn't even have a cell phone or computer or anything like that in the cabin! And clearly he doesn't believe in mirrors. All that Mickey has are food, shelter, and books on psychology and mental illness. The best idea of this weirdo's face he gets from the lid of one of the pots in the kitchen: pale, redhead, greenish eyes maybe? Hard to tell from a lid. Great dick. And tall, holy fuck it's weird to be this tall, he keeps on bumping against stuff because he miscalculates spaces and distances.

Meanwhile, Ian does not wake up early and bright in the little cabin where he's taking a well deserved pause from the world and his job as a counsellor. Nope. It's well past midday and he's in a body that's super hangover, in an apartment that looks more like a computer repair shop than anything else. All the devices are password protected, even the couple of cell phones he finds. There are two wallets with two different sets of IDs for two different names. No paper mail or useful documents anywhere that he can find. The more he tries to pinpoint who this guy is from stuff in his house, the less he knows, aside from the fact he likes cheap beer, knives, and videogames.

Mickey spends most of his time in the cabin perusing the books, there are little notes here and there, the guy has a dorky sense of humor that makes him chuckle, but he also sprinkles here and there glimpses of bad experiences with doctors, with meds and treatments and healthcare providers that were not great.

Ian leaves the apartment to look for more clues about, at the very least, where this weirdo lives, but it's even worse, one of the neighbors catches him as he tries to steal someone's mail (it would have been such an easy way to get at least an address!) and he runs, not sure why but he just runs. Wanders an unknown town like many others, no idea where he is. Finds his way back to the building, he has a road name and a number, except there must be so many Washington Streets around... He spends hours looking at the weirdo's stuff, feeling like he's intruding just by being there, every moment less sure of wanting to know this guy. They are soulmates, apparently, but... he feels like he's stepping into a cheap spy story. Perfect stuff to further unbalance the already unsteady situation inside his brain. What if this guy is even crazier than him? There are so many weird thing, in his apartment and potentially his life... 

There's a phonecall to one of the phones, he answers hoping the person at the other end will say something useful, a name, a detail, something, but the girl only calls him fuckface and dickhead. A relative, judging by how, after a while, she gets worried when Ian doesn't answer the way she expected. He's debating whether to tell her that he's a visiting soulmate or not, when midnight strikes and he's thrown back into his body, in the cabin, with one of his books open in his hands and a note in a different handwriting than his in the corner.

Nice refuge you have here, Firecrotch. Bet I still can find you in a week or less. Hope you didn't make a mess at my place. Had no idea what to do with them, so take your meds, dude. M.

It takes Mickey 8 days to come knocking on the door to Ian's cabin, and only because he has to go to an office in person, they do all stuff on paper in Bumfuck County, Wherever It Is Ian's Cabin Is, damn neanderthals!

Less than twenty minutes after meeting him in person for the first time, Ian's doubt about Mickey are relegated to background noise. The universe might be right with this soulmates thing!

Yeah. I think that's it. That's what happens when the brain weasels latch onto an idea they like (and they LOVE soulmates) 🤷‍♀️

I'm supposed to tag people, but honestly I don't know if I have the bandwidth left for it. 🥲 If you read this and want to do it, you're welcome to! ❤️

[luv-loo]

Just thinking about my zombie original story and HMMM, love you unnamed OC, I love you so much <333 SCREW IT, have the character personalities but no names because I have not figured out that far !!

Background: Zombie/End of the world. Late bus ride after school ends in the group trying to get to the top of Australia to be rescued from what ever the living hell is happening! It is very aussie, and it is still in development but that is the basic premise.

Teacher, young fella mid-to late 20s and currently trying to keep the kids from dying. Head strong leader type, but also struggles with insomnia which is not good during the zombie take over.

Bus driver, only a bit older than the teacher. Caring but realistic, made the younger kids cry at least once and Teacher got pissy at him. Has the best sense of direction. Passive aggressive and buds heads with some of the kids.

Year 11 girl that tries and get her crap together. Self became the organiser of the group once they were stuck on the bus. She wants to be a nurse when she is older, plus being a farm girl, she has some background knowledge on medical stuff. Does not get angry quickly, but all hell breaks loose when she does. Teaches the younger kids things she was taught in school while in the apocalypse school bus ride.

Year 9 boy. Barely can remember his home address but would not hesitate if you asked him who won the 1964 Footy Grand final. His background knowledge on sports helps a lot, since he knows what equipment deals the most damaged when hit. Awkwardly social though, his friend does most of the talking between them.

Other Year 9 boy. Laid back, but on high alert when his buddy is with him. Middle child of 7 and works on a farm with the family. Due to his background, he has grown to be protective of the ones who he's close to. He sees one person roll their eyes at his friend talking about the 1998 Grand Sumo Competiton he will nearly be throwing hands. Still, a caring guy (a mother's boy.)

Year 9 girl. Sticks to herself, her family are quiet book shop owners in town. Always seen with a new book in her bag. When she is with friends she becomes quite loud, but only with the people she is closets with. Though, she shines when she protects her little sister.

Year 7 Girl. Book shop girls little sister. In the same vain with being on the quieter side, but always happy to talk to others. Bit of a hypochondriac though, so she usually misses school days due to it. Besides that she stands her own, believing in herself.

Year 10 boy. Due to his upbringing, he has trouble showing empathy towards others, and is deemed as rather a loner and to some, a bully. Disregarding most peoples feelings, he lacks in able to see eye to eye with others. He goes to therapy after school for it, with his uncle and nanas help. Those are the people he loves the most, but even there he finds it difficult to show much of it. That is until he becomes in charge of something very important during the end of the world.

The other characters might come later, there are just somethings I need to think about further with their development in the story.