#i like listening to video essays and shit while i draw and work and i ended up listening to a lot of her videos back then

[cozylittleartblog]

being depressed sucks, but at the same time it did stop me from drawing illuminaughti fanart like four days before the shit(tm) popped off with her back in may

silver linings i guess

[candycane969]

✨🎧🌆ROTTMNT DONATELLO HEADCANONS🌆🎧✨

made by me! candy! :3 no major spoilers

A quick guide!✨

💜 - Supported by canon (things that are pretty sure out there, maybe not confirmed 100% but yeah)

❤ - Kind of supported by canon (things that happened in the series that miiiight lead to some other stuff)

🧡 - My source is that I made it the fuck up (still trying to fit it into the character tho)

⭐ - Not sure if I'm taking this headcanon or not, but I do think It's pretty neat

💋 - Kinky! DISCLAIMER: Ive always seen the rottmnt boys (and April) in the age group from 17 to 19 and thats what I headcanon them as (as it is my own age group!). Ive seen the show and was fucking sure theyre my age and then a month or two later I was slapped in the face with thier actual age lol. I dont support any pedo shit, I also dont think minors can consent. Just putting it out there

Lets go!🌆💜🎧⭐✨

The 'Tism

• 💜 I think Its pretty fucking obvious that this boy is autistic, pretty much everything in the show supports this.

• ❤ Donny's headgear also works as noise cancelling headphones! He's often overwhelmed by background sounds and his gear makes it easier for him to live his life (either on missions or just spending time with his brothers and/or April). He still loves blasting his music on the highest volume tho. It's different when you consent to hearing your jams then when several people are talking at once and youre going crazy.

Tagging as kind of canon because he might have audio sensory issues because of his autism and you can reraly see him without the damn googles.

Different stims

❤ Foot stomping

❤ Hand flapping

🧡 Repeating a song/part of song over and over (yes, even if it has no words)

❤ Spinning on chairs

🧡 Pacing around the lab/the lair

• 💜 He knows ASL! Though It's never said in the show why he learned it, I believe that because he goes nonverbal often. Everyone in the lair can sign a bit because of that, but not everybody is too good at it. Donatello can communicate in ASL fluently.

Gender

• 🧡 Donatello never really felt connected to being "a men" and categorising things as "for boys" and "for girls" always seemed dumb to him. Shortly after Leo's coming out as a trans men (SURPRISE LEO HEADCANON) he went to talk to him about his gender experience. After some thinking and digging, Don came to the conclusion that he is in fact nonbinary. He still uses mostly male pronounces but always appreciates gender neutral pronounces coming his way.

Sexuality

• 🧡 While realising his own gender he also figured out that he doesn't really sees gender that seriously in others either. Men or women, its pretty much whatever to him. He doesn't like to label himself much when it comes to his sexuality, he accepts reffering to him as a pansexual or bisexual.

• 🧡 When it comes to dating Donatello doesn't imagine himself with anyone, really. He finds himself attractive, but doesn't think anyone would fancy him in a romantic way. He's not interessted much in dating either way. But he doesn't exclude dating someone in the future. It's just he won't go out of his way to look for love.

• ❤/🧡 Its obvious Don is a men of science, he's a genius when it comes to coding, math, engineering, I would say chemistry as well. Thats the field he feels the most comfortable in, but he loves learning new things in general. As long as there is interesting knowledge he can obtain, he will be there, soaking it like a sponge. He likes listening to info dumps, and probably listens to long ass video essays and/or podcasts.

• 🧡 Don likes to learn about others people hobbys and takes interest in learning about it. He likes showing others that he cares about something, even though Its something totally indifferent to him. For example, he knows lot about art making process from Mikey (Angelo even made him paint with him a couple of times!) even tho he doesn't really likes drawing and/or famous artists. No many people appreciate his work so he wants to show his appreciation to others.

• 💜 He is pretty low empathy most of the time. It's hard for him to relate to others, and can often feel like someone is overreacting. It's also challenging for him to put his feelings "out there". Which often makes him look unloving or unfriendly. And it couldn't be farther from the truth. He loves his brothers even though they bother him most of the time. And he loves April as well (though she never really troubled him much). He never really thinks that his low empathy is a flaw (more often he thinks about it as a blessing) but there rare are moment when he feels helpless because of it. He is glad that his family knows that he truly cares about them (and accepts any effort he puts in to express his feelings, even if it seems small).

• 🧡⭐ I've seen people headcanoning Donny as a baker and honestly I like it a lot. Cooking is Mikeys domain, and it suits him well, as it allows a lot of freestyling and just overall feeling. Baking and pastry making is very calculated and one miatake can ruin the whole thing. It reminds Don of engineering in a sense. Also baking is an easy way to get love and appreciation from his family because, cmon, he just made the most angelic fruit tarts in the whole universe, of course they're going to praise him. It also works as a stress relief. When feeling stumped and/or overwhelmed over a project or a situation he'll make something easy like brownies to get his mind of it.

• 🧡 He's very sentimental. He loves receiving gifts and will cherish and use them (even if he doesn't like it). He still has every "gamers dont die they respawn" Tshirt and every "dont fuck with my brother he was born in october and has autism" mug. Sometimes he REALLY wants to throw something away but god damn it this is painting Mikey did when he was ten and is just five splats of paint and thinking about him somehow finding out and crying about it might destroy him forever.

• 🧡⭐ This bitch reads fanfics, thats it. It started when he was around 13 or smth with Atomic Lass x Reader and now he knows all the fanfic lingo. He still might read something from time to time and writes very long and well written comments (with constructive criticism).

• 🧡 Speaking of which, Don writes perfect sentences while texting. All the correct spelling and punctuation. He also communicates with emojis and gifs like a millenial.

Food, TW: drinking!

• 🧡 He has a rather strong head, you cant make him drunk that easily. But when it finally happens, youre in for a ride. Shutting him up is near impossible, he will talk non-stop but with much less eloquence then while sober. Its extremely easy to make him laugh, so Leo absolutely loves it. He often looses track of what hes saying and starts completely different rant. Overall a chaotic mess. Really fun to witness it at least once. His beverage of choice is either fun cocktails or beer (tho rarely and/or only with some kind of juice because he doesn't like the fizziness on his tongue).

• 🧡 And that takes us to Donatello that hates fizzy drinks. He hates carbonated beverages, no matter if its cola or champagne. The feeling on his tongue and in his mouth makes him really uncomfortable. When there is no other choice but to drink up some bubbless, he leaves it open for as long as he can to get rid of them. His brothers despise him for that.

• 🧡 He doesn't like weird food combos either and is rather picky. When ordering food Don sticks to what he knows not to risk an uncomfortable texture touching his mouth. Texture is the most often reason for him not liking a specific food. Donnys pretty strict to preparing food as well (the way he does a thing is The Correct Way and no other exception is acceptable). Also he puts milk first so his cereal doesn't get soggy.

• 🧡 I feel like he likes fruit juices in boxes and fruit mousses but this is pretty random 🤷

• ❤/🧡 He wears contacts! We've seen little Donny with glassess, so I assumed he wears contacts now. When he knows he will be spending all day in the lair (for example because of an injury) he still has a pair of glassess he uses. And yes, he tapes them to the head. Because he rarely ever wears them, he never came up with a solution for not having ears and needing glassess.

• 🧡 ABSOLUTELY hates smoking. Will go on a rant if he sees someone he knows smoking. He absolutely despises the smell and WILL take it out of someones mouth/hand and throw it away. Appreciates the fun smells of vapes but still hates them. Will call vapers losers (maybe not exacly in these words but he will for sure).

• 🧡 Really good at makeup, but not as good as Leo is (ANOTHER SURPRISE LEO HEADCANON). He spend years perfecting his eyebrows of course. He also wears eyeliner because serving cunt is important even on the battlefield. From time to time you can see his nails painted as well.

• 🧡⭐ While being flustered or simply distracted he stutters a lot, mostly in a way of repeating whole words or parts of a sentence ("Its good because- Its good- Its good because I um- Its good-")

• 🧡 Enjoys taking very long baths, and actually prefers them much more then showers. Can stay underwater for a rather long time as well!! Being fully submerged calms him down a lot and its overall very relaxing for him.

• 🧡⭐ Ive seen a lot of takes that without his battle shell, he is really flexible (due to having a soft shell). And I like the idea. I think, that before sitting infront of a screen (or a desk in general) to do his work for several hours he stretches deeply so his back won't be so sore later. Also a reason to draw Donny in yoga poses and thats always cool.

• ❤ Makes up shit to fuck with his brothers. Like just spreading misinformation and gaslighting them for shit and giggles. Or to get them to leave him alone for a while. Also will gaslight them if they somehow find out that he was lying ("what? you must have heard me wrong then 🙄💅")

• 💜/❤ Loves singing and dancing!!! Aint the best singer (tho I love his songs in the show Im kissing him as we speak) but is a gorgeous dancer! He finds it incredibly fun and feels fabulous while doing it. Also Im pretty sure dancing counts as stimming so add it to the list. Dances solo like 90% of the time but really enjoys dancing in pairs (dances with April a whole lot when they get the chance!).

• ❤ He rarely laughs out loud, but when he does it is loud and messy. A good joke can make him think about it all day and continue laughing for a long time. Not my og take, Ive seen this headcanon before and I love it so so much :3

• 🧡 From all his brothers, he kind of wishes to be human the most of them all. Its not a big big wish, he does think of himself as very unique individual and takes pride of being a mutant. But sometimes while hanging out with April he can get lost in his thoughts of "what ifs". Maybe in the process of making a cloaking accessory.

• 🧡 His handwriting is god-awful. All scribly and fucked up like Doctors writing. Unfamiliar eye would not decipher a word out of it, but Don knows exactly what everything means. But he mostly writes digitally.

• ❤ Dons dislike of hugging is canon, but I do believe he likes being touched on his head and face (head pats, cheek rubs, scratches). He enjoys hand holding when it's appropriate as well.

• 💋 Im headcanoning the boys to go through mating season once a year (except mikey cuz he small) everyone at a different time. It would be similiar to an ovulation but much more horny (with also fever symptoms). Don would be the second after Raph to get it. While in heat he doesn't go feral or anything, but after a few days stops working because he cant focus on his craft. Waves of sudden temperature changes (mostly high heat) with really horny thoughts and hypersensitivity to pretty much everything...yeah not the best work environment. He spends his  most intensive days closed off in his lab or room because he really doesn't want his family to see him like this (the rest of the turtles are in thier rooms during thier mating time as well for the same reason). Also add being possessive while having a SO, and also veeery easy to irritate.

• 💋 Donny takes on a more submissive role while being intimate, even though he loves to be in charge all the time. But he isn't a bottom either, I would put him perfectly in the middle as a switch (more leaning on that sub part tho).

• 💋 His biggest turn on is smell. Like someones natural smell, no perfumes and all. He likes to snuggle in the crook of the neck and take it all in. This becomes cranked up to eleven during mating season, as he absolutely cannot stop sniffing. Would love his significant other to leave him clothes with thier smell on it and sleep and/or snuggle with it.

Might add more later but thats all for now :3💜

Hope you enjoyed it⭐✨

[because-she-goes]

sentimental shit

I was 15 when self titled came out. A girl in my high school was a massive ‘75 fan and would talk about them at our lunch table. I don’t really remember hearing this album for the first time, but just knew I loved it. Kinda like it was programmed into my brain from some other being.

I was 18 when ILIWYS came out and that album I do have clear memories of. Waking up at 6am, driving to school and listening to A Change of Heart for the first time and having my whole world change around me. Then, Love Me, UGH!, Somebody Else and The Sound being all on the radio here in America. I remember NYC pride that year and Loving Someone being played seemingly 24/7. I remember She Lays Down and Nana making me cry on the first listen. Then listening to the instrumentals to help me feel a bit better. I remember being in awe of Matty’s writing ability, George’s production, Ross and Adam just as humans and how their work stood out so clearly among the bright, 80s synths.

For ABIIOR, I was now 20. A college student fully invested in this band, their wellbeing as individuals, their friendship, their romantic relationships the whole 9. I remember reading the preview articles from NME and Pitchfork saying how Matty was clean and sober. I remember watching their first shows back on youtube and seeing Matty cry during Robbers because it was the first time in 5 years he heard the crowd yelling the words back to him properly and while sober. I remember hearing How To Draw / Petrichor and losing my mind over them taking an iliwys song that wasn’t really released and now revamping it. I remember the treadmill dance, the music videos, the easter eggs, the day Give Yourself a Try dropped and the youtube comments saying how in-love everyone was w/ the new sound. I remember listening to TOOTIME as I wrote my final essays.

For Notes, I was 22. It came out the year I graduated college and I can recall preordering the neon green vinyl for myself as a birthday present/graduation gift. I studied environmental politics at school so to see this band I’ve loved now take steps at their live shows to educate the masses about the climate (before everything went to shit) and also use all cardboard packaging for the shipping of the vinyl so it could be recycled later was incredible I remember being on vacation and then coming home to see it in the mail, unwrapping it like I was unearthing an ancient jewel. I remember solely listening to Notes that whole summer snd thinking about George and how he should’ve been nominated for a Grammy or Brit for Producer of the Year for that album. I remember being so happy that it was an album of mostly instrumentals as they are almost always my favorites. Even now, I will put it on during chores or studying or writing. It is by a mile, my favorite of theirs so far.

As for BFIAFL, my clearest memory from the roll-out was hearing that it was going to be released within a week of a Taylor Swift and an Arctic Monkeys album. I remember listening to the Taylor album fir the first few days until BFIAFL and then it was like no other music existed. I listened to the new opening track in a half-shock, half amazement. I loved the old one, but could see how it was out of date a bit and how fucking beautiful the new one was (it still makes me cry whenever I listen to it). I loved how honest Matty was about everything, how direct he was and how he respected us enough as fans to address things head-on. I remember those VEVO videos and watching the Oh Caroline one on a loop. I remember crying when I heard the last line of Part of the Band about Matty’s sobriety. I remember watching the video for Happiness like it was a presidential address, eyes glued to my laptop in a trance. I listened to Wintering on Christmas morning and the whole 2 weeks surrounding it daily.

All in all, this band has been with me for a fucking decade of my life and I am so thankful to have these albums as bookends and markers to each period of my life. As Matty said in an interview once, “theres nothing else like this for me in my life” and for that special connection to their music, I will never be able to thank them enough. I love them.

[n0ahsferatu]

omg i’ve been a fan of yours for year now and as an artist i need to know.

what do you listen to while you draw???

for me it’s super varied but i’m always fascinated by other’s processes!!! 

also just. i love your art so much. followed you bc of ds9 art and i’ve loved everything since. even shit idk anything abt. i just love your art man

hi anon :) aaa well! i have a hard time working in complete silence so when I draw I usually have a movie/show playing in the background or I'm listening to music! my go-to genres are darkwave, coldwave and post-punk, but I also have a soft spot for both classic and modern rock and i occasionally listen to movie soundtracks as well. when I'm sketching an illustration I like putting on something that fits the vibes of what I'm drawing to help me get inspired!

OH and i almost forgor but long form video essays are absolute life-savers as well

also thank you so much skdvjkfbnk this is very kind of you to say 🥺 I haven't starred my trek in a bit but the ds9 fandom on here was an absolute godsend for my depressed burnt out ass back in 2022 and there's stuff that I drew back then that I'd love to rework a bit someday! and tbh I'm due for a ds9 rewatch soon i think

anyway thank you again anon I hope you have a lovely day :)

[peppermint-moss]

First time participatin in hourly comic day!! I’ve done one before that I never actually posted; but Feb.1 I believee is like The Day for hourly comics c: (transcription of the writing under the cut cause i feel like my writing is real real messy here sorry bout that)

commission info || tip jar

10:00 AM panel 1: Woke up.... ish.. panel 2: .. Watched YT videos in bed trying to get more awake panel 3: Brush teef / Breakie

11:00 AM panel 1: scrollin tumblr panel 2: Draw hourlies during work meeting... panel 3: Oops I wasn’t listening I should take notes LOL

12:00 PM 1: Still in meeting... mmm 2: mmm Almond Hazelnut Chocolate :) 3: Walking to bus... I didn’t realize the elementary school I cut across to get to bus was having their recess so I tried to walk through as unthreateningly as possible o god there was so many children 4: On bus, listening to the “Wonderful!” podcast

1:00 PM 1: Visiting art gallery + hanging out with a friend

2:00 PM 1: Walkin around park with friend going heart eyes over all the crows n squirrels n stuff :) 2: Ate a few bites of lunch @ restaurant with friend very fast cause I had to go to class!! 3: Mrrgh... Hour long transit to school :(

3:00 PM 1: Oops 5 min late to class 2: Tis an Art History class; talk abt readings+essay assignment aargh beans nooo

4:00 PM 1: Class over! It’s only an hour which is so SHORT my dang transit takes longer than the time spent in class 2: Drop off pen pal letter for letter-writing club I’m in @ school 3: UGHH TRANSIT Side doodle: (Walking to train, saw a dog with the tiniest lil stick legs and bright pink jacket omg)

5:00 PM 1: Drawing hourlies on transit 2: Oh shit my stop is here already?? Drawing makes time go so fast wowie 3: Get on another bus... More drawing hourlies on transit 4: Walk through the elementary school grounds... nice n quiet now

6:00 PM 1: Back in house! Into comfier pjs and watchin YT to settle 2: Got lotta work to do but... :( 3: ...back to watching YT videos

7:00 PM 1: Dinner + some very brief research for art history essay

8:00 PM 1: “oh boy my plant is dying” / Shower time 2: Scrollin on phone all nice n warm from shower :) 9:00 PM 1: “ugghh outta bed” / Should really be working on stuff :( 2: Working on essay...

10:00 PM 1: “grr detailed pen+ink drawing is Not my jam” / Some working on illustration project

11:00 PM 1: Late night snack of leftover pecan crumbs (while Apple looks at me) 2: “Noo more transit tmr :(” / Brush teeth... Thinking abt how I don’t wanna get up for tomorrow’s early class

12:00 AM 1: Sleepy time

[jicklet]

Finished the Persona 5 Anime, and I ended up liking it a lot more than I thought I would!

I definitely wouldn't recommend it to someone as their primary P5 experience, but if you've played the game and are hungry for more, it’s worth checking out!

Most of the fun is in how they connect all these various plots together into a coherent narrative, linking the confidant progressions into what’s happening with the overall plot or character development.

My favorite example of this is in the episode with Yusuke's confidant where he makes his speech at the end about his friends keeping him on track. Ren clearly learns from that, and so later when he gets into a discussion with Akechi about the Phantom Thieves being dangerous, Ren is able to echo Yusuke when he says that as long as the Thieves stay true to their justice, they'll stay on track. It’s a nice way to keep everything moving forward.

Another nice thing is that two infamously problem scenes got (imho) massively improved: the Mona-Ryuji fight, and the Ryuji scene at the end of Shido’s palace. I’ll go into more detail on how after some other stuff under the cut.

Cons 😅

They also threw in some weird extra fanservice moments in the first half, along the lines of generic anime “Ah yes Ann’s ass is talking” moments. Thankfully they seem to drop that in the second... season? half? whatever it is. Basically midway through there’s a new intro and they stop pulling that shit.

Yeah so the animation quality is notttt good, they seem to have been working off Yusuke’s food budget and everything went into making the fight scenes look almost decent. If you watch video essays, this can almost be treated like that; if you have a project to work on it’s nice to have this on to mostly listen to and occasionally look up at. BUT they do some nice stuff with stills, that's how we get things like baby Yusuke and Makoto and Haru, and some extra time of them all actually having fun at Destinyland. ♥

Ren 🙋‍♂️

So our protagonist is both helped and hindered by the medium shift. He does get things to say and I enjoyed that! Overall though he definitely feels less main-character-y with so much else to focus on. He shines in one-on-one scenes, over time you can see him become more comfortable and confident over time, especially once Futaba joins and we get some more time with Sojiro. But in group scenes I honestly tend to forget he's there.

Shippy stuff 💗

You could easily headcanon Ren as ace or gay or just shy. They keep all his relationships platonic and he never really reacts to being flirted with any way except being uncomfortable.

Oh, though if you’re an Akechi or Joker/Akechi fan... yeah just go watch this, trust me.

Most of my Yutaba moments got skipped or cut short, alas but it’s understandable. The real win here was for Ryuann! They're always rushing over to check on each other, and oh man Erica seriously brought it for Ryuji-possibly-died scene. And, speaking of...

Improvements!! 🌟

Mona-Ryuji “fight”: I was dreading getting to this part as I always do, and then... I actually ended up kind of enjoying it?

Part of it was just due to the medium switch, you don't have all that excruciating in-game time as Joker where you're forced to do nothing while something is CLEARLY bugging Morgana. The tighter timeline and focus of the anime does a better job drawing a line directly from the dream/Morgana’s growing insecurities to Morgana lashing out at Ryuji, making it more obvious how much he's projecting.

The game also splits the focus between “The problem is Mona being insecure but also Ryuji’s ego” which muddies things. In the anime, you didn't get everyone crawling up Ryuji's ass about apologizing; Ann could tell Ryuji was worried because they've been friends and she knows him. Ryuji apologizing was his own choice, which put the focus less on “it’s Ryuji’s fault this isn’t getting solved” and more towards dealing with the actual problem of Mona feeling unappreciated. The lesson was more clearly “You weren’t wrong to feel that way, what was wrong was how you handled it,” which made it all hit stronger when everyone came together to be like “hey man we’re sorry we made you feel like that, you absolutely belong here.”

Shido’s palace: They cut the end off!! 🎉🎊🎉 It only showed Ann, Haru, and Futaba crying and yelling at Ryuji, which is fine and believable as them being emotional and worried, cut to Ren, Makoto, and Yusuke watching them, then it ends! Bam, fixed, we’re good.

Conclusion 🎉

So yeah, think of it as supplemental material. If you’re already a Persona 5 fan, I recommend checking it out! If you have a friend who hasn’t played the game... either have them play the game or show them a let’s play or something, don’t use this as an intro, we all know it could be better 😅

[teethflavoured]

5 11 and 25!

oh great choices!

5. Estimate of how much of your art you post online vs. the art you keep for yourself

ough good question. i never really *finish* personal pieces (i.e render & shit; the whole nine yards) unless it's for a friend. but id say 50% of my work gets posted, the other 50% is solely sketches and concepts for personal things or stuff with characters i dont want the public to see either because i feel people would be weird about it or if it 'breached containment' so to speak, from my little audience here, id be really uncomfortable.

11. Do you listen to anything while drawing? If so, what

i listen to music almost ALWAYS! and video essays ofc. but it usually has to be very fast-paced and loud for me to concentrate. (i listen to an ungodly amount of edm music) i typically tend to listen to video essays abt like...cryptids, lost media, true crime, and medical history. all that weird shit!!!

25. Something your art has been compared to that you were NOT inspired by

i've had people say my stuff reminds them of like...those fake 'lost' flash games that have been popping up as of late or walten files. I'm not offended by that ofc! just not something i ever watched or am very interested in! though i see what people would say that.

[ramvur]

4, 8, 11, 26!

4. Fav character/subject that's a bitch to draw

I fucking love drawing wacky perspectives, but holy fucking shit they are DIFFICULT man. Also applies to intersting lightning, i fucking hate/love painting that.

Currently w the COD obsession it's been a lot abt tacgear and weapons, they have a LOT of details and while i love tacgear i tend to simplify it a lot for the sake of my mental health and time lmao

8. What's an old project idea that you've lost interest in

I used to have this comic w my oc's called "Dark Centuries" and in highschool I used to be super invested in it and it would be my magnum opus and everything. Eventually I just let go of it tbh I just wasn't interested in it anymore.

It was definitely fun to practice worldbuilding and character design and everything, and definitely had like the whole story mapped out in my head, then it stopped making sense.

11. Do you listen to anything while drawing? If so, what

Depends on my mood.

My default lately has been the MW 2019-22 campaigns (i've watched both several times). Most times I rly enjoy documentaries, video essays, stuff like that. Sometimes I play music if I'm feeling like listening to something in specific.

But half the time I'm drawing in complete silence cuz I managed to focus on work without putting something first and I just forget to put something cuz im focused lol

26. What's a piece that got a wildly different interpretation from what you intended

None that I recall? ppl don't often tell me their interpretations from my drawings, they're usually pretty straightforward or there's nothing to interpret from it

I saw some interesting interpretations from that angsty pricegaz I posted not too long ago, but none of them were so far off from the original point, since that one was more up to interpretation of what happened n shit.

also annoying teachers in art college dont count.

[feeshies]

art asks: 4, 7, 11, 21!

Fav character/subject that’s a bitch to draw

For subjects, I love drawing scenes. Backgrounds, characters, lighting, depth of field, all that shit. But it's haaaard :(

And for characters, I can't count the number of times that I had to redo a drawing of Magnus (Metalocalypse) because I didn't consider his stupid goatee when I was planning out the pose/perspective.

A medium of art you don't work in but appreciate

Digital is my only medium, so I guess my answer to this question is "all"

Do you listen to anything while drawing? If so, what

If I'm not really moved to draw, I'll throw on a really long video essay or something. Those tend to distract the "you suck, just give up" voices in my head. But if I am inspired to work on a specific project, I'll listen to music.

Art styles nothing like your own but you like anyways

I don't really know how to answer this because I don't know how to judge my own style really.

I like Philip C Curtis a lot. He's been one of my favorites for years.

Keith Thompson is one of those artists I used to try and emulate, but stopped when I realized I should have more realistic sources of reference/inspiration

[pathos-p]

"Weirdly Specific Artist Ask Game" but i got tagged in it so i am gonna answer all of them 'cause theyre fun

questions by @/i-like-eyes

thanks for the tag @king-chook!! ^^

1. Art programs you have but don't use

i thiiink i have a license for clip studio paint that came with my old wacom tablet but i never rly used it. also used to have krita installed for the longest time but just always felt off to me idk why. don't currently have it installed anymore tho

2. Is it easier to draw someone facing left or right (or forward even)

to their right is a bit easier i think. not smth i consciously notice, mostly i'm just thinking abt when im doodling on the margins of stuff they usually are looking to the left of the page

3. What ideas come from when you were little

uhhh idk tbh, i dont think much of my art draws from that

4. Fav character/subject that's a bitch to draw

cityscapes !!! i love cities they r so pretty and cool looking but goddamn theyre so hard to draw

5. Estimate of how much of your art you post online vs. the art you keep for yourself

80-20? i post everything that i finish. basically the only stuff that doesnt get posted is sketches i give up on

6. Anything that might inspire you subconsciously (i.e. this horse wasn't supposed to look like the Last Unicorn but I see it)

hmmmm not that i can think of rn...

7. A medium of art you don't work in but appreciate

watercolour !! i've tried it a few times and Struggled but i love seeing ppl's work in it

8. What's an old project idea that you've lost interest in

so many animatics ..................... also many comic ideas ..................... i get so many ideas that i just never start on or start and only do a little before losing the hyperfocus/fixation and just Cannot continue them. it sucks

9. What are your file name conventions

usually the character name, maybe a bit of description of what theyre doing... idk not much of a convention to it

10. Favorite piece of clothing to draw

hmm i like jackets :)

11. Do you listen to anything while drawing? If so, what

yes, usually music. sometimes random youtube videos like stream highlights or video essays.

12. Easiest part of body to draw

uhhh hair? maybe idk. hard question bc it varied a lot depending on what kinda style and just. sometimes smth is hard in a particular drawing then easy later idk

13. A creator who you admire but whose work isn't your thing

i cant think of anything i will edit it in if i think of anyone

14. Any favorite motifs

in my drawings i dont feel like i use any much. mostly i pull motifs from whatever im doing fanart of lol. in music, i like religious motifs (but not like. ones abt christ or bible stories, rather heaven, hell, god/divinity, angels)

15. *Where* do you draw (don't drop your ip address this just means do you doodle at a park or smth)

at home pretty much exclusively. in bed lol

16. Something you are good at but don't really have fun doing

idk i feel like the stuff im better at is the stuff i like bc i practice it more for fun lol

17. Do you eat/drink when drawing? if so, what

not usually

18. An estimate of how much art supplies you've broken

surprisingly little. mostly bc i do more digital art lol

19. Favorite inanimate objects to draw (food, nature, etc.)

weapons and nature. especially ice for nature

20. Something everyone else finds hard to draw but you enjoy

i cant think of anything ill add it if i do

21. Art styles nothing like your own but you like anyways

i love rougher styles, like ones with a lot of visible brushstrokes and bold lines and shit. so cool. idk how to make it look good lol i dont have the confidence in my lines for it

22. What physical exercises do you do before drawing, if any

none... probably i should change that

23. Do you use different layer modes

yeah, often i use a multiple layer for shading then a variety to colour adjust at the end

24. Do your references include stock images

sometimes

25. Something your art has been compared to that you were NOT inspired by

cant think of any

26. What's a piece that got a wildly different interpretation from what you intended

there was this poem i wrote about capitalism and how shit it is and someone thought it was abt interpersonal relationships/smth along the lines of a breakup. i rly didnt mind it tho i thought it was cool bc the emotion was not far off, the sense of betrayal and abandonment. just a very very different subject

27. Do you warm up before getting to the good stuff? If so, what is it you draw to warm up with

no lol

28. Any art events you have participated in the past (like zines)

i ran a zine (digital only) for the dimension 20 zine jam! and also made art+writing for others in that :D also was part of a polygon yt fanzine a while back

29. Media you love, but doesn't inspire you artistically

spider-man (not the MCU, mostly tasm and a few of the comics)

30. What piece of yours do you think is underrated

IS IT BAD TO SAY A PIECE THAT GOT QUITE A BIT OF POSITIVE ATTENTION ?? maybe

i rly like the cj comic i did i am genuinely so goddamn happy with the result so . even tho it did very well by the standards for the fandom its for and my current follower base it is underrated

alternatively this one https://www.tumblr.com/pathos-p/704380503765221377/tridential-sovereignty?source=share bc it didnt get all that much attention on any social media site but i think its cool !!

(mostly only using recent ones bc i dont wanna dig back further esp onto my old twt acct, too much work lol)

[calowlmitygoddess]

wop wop i wanna fill more ask games

1. Art programs you have but don't use

I dont have them anymore but i used to have Medibang paint downloaded.

2. Is it easier to draw someone facing left or right (or forward even)

Left!

3. What ideas come from when you were little

Many of them tbh, many of my characters are like 10+ years old and come from when i was a tween

4. Fav character/subject that's a bitch to draw

I actually really like to draw enviroments (in theory)

5. Estimate of how much of your art you post online vs. the art you keep for yourself

All, all of it, i have no self control.

6. Anything that might inspire you subconsciously (i.e. this horse wasn't supposed to look like the Last Unicorn but I see it)

Hmmm i dont think so? i at least cant see any influence that wasnt there purposefully

7. A medium of art you don't work in but appreciate

sculpting! i tried to do it but gave up, still i love to see timelapses videos of people sculpiting

8. What's an old project idea that you've lost interest in

Ugh sooooo many, so many. My first characters have sort of faded away, and other projetcts i gave up halfway.

9. What are your file name conventions

Jokey, very non-serious titles. Like 'siblings road trip' or ' shit hit da fan'

10. Favorite piece of clothing to draw

DRESSES!!!

11. Do you listen to anything while drawing? If so, what

Youtube videos, like gaming comentary or video essays

12. Easiest part of body to draw

Face and torso.

13. A creator who you admire but whose work isn't your thing

Hmmm idk to be honest, i dont have one i think

14. Any favorite motifs Duality!!

15. *Where* do you draw (don't drop your ip address this just means do you doodle at a park or smth)

My room.

16. Something you are good at but don't really have fun doing

Hmm nothing i think, i just draw things i like drawing lmao

17. Do you eat/drink when drawing? if so, what

nope!

18. An estimate of how much art supplies you've broken

None!

19. Favorite inanimate objects to draw (food, nature, etc.)

Nature!! i love drawing nature! <- never draws nature

20. Something everyone else finds hard to draw but you enjoy

Clothes. I like doing the folds and then the rendering

21. Art styles nothing like your own but you like anyways

Semi-realistic anime styles, or very overly detailed styles.

22. What physical exercises do you do before drawing, if any

Nonee lmao, thought i do stretch my arm/hand while drawing.

23. Do you use different layer modes

Multiply+ Overlay+ Add (glow) are my best friends

24. Do your references include stock images

Yeah sometimes.

25. Something your art has been compared to that you were NOT inspired by

My art never gets compared LMAO. Characters ive drawn have been compared to characters that have nothing to do with them though

26. What's a piece that got a wildly different interpretation from what you intended

None i think?

27. Do you warm up before getting to the good stuff? If so, what is it you draw to warm up with

No warm ups, we raw dogging this

28. Any art events you have participated in the past (like zines)

Currently participating in one!

29. Media you love, but doesn't inspire you artistically

Music i suppose.

30. What piece of yours do you think is underrated

SO MANYYYY

[lmaowh-at]

7, 11, 19 :~)

7. A medium of art you don’t work in but appreciate- I have the upmost respect to doll makers, sculptors, people who make miniatures, people who just use the wildest of materials, especially in 3D… like my art teacher who makes shit with sand and mud casting, or takes out the filling out of tables and closets and makes tools and workspaces out of it. You can google him actually, he’s one of the most impressive artists I’ve ever seen and I appreciate his work immensely (Haimi Fenichel). Linocut printing is also very cool, and I tried it once but it didn’t work for me bc the tools were shit. I’d love to try most of these someday actually :,)

11. Do you listen to anything while drawing? If so, what- OH BOY. Well I have a 60 hours long playlist I usually listen to, but I have playlists for different things with different vibes. Like when I was drawing my Stavrogin and Verkhovensky drawing I put ULTRASUNN on because it matched the vibe. I don’t really listen to music for the lyrics, they’re important and a cool bonus ofc, but it’s mainly just there in the background, so it varies. I especially like music with funky beats though (like depeche mode or kraftwerk). I also listen to video essays on youtube

19. Favourite inanimate object to draw- chairs maybe? And skis. I was in italy this year and whenever I had a break I’d draw passers by and their skis. Their shape and movement is very cool to me idk lol… I mainly only draw people. I should change it up sometimes TT

[mynarco]

For the Specific Art Ask Game: 5, 7, 8, 11,19, and 21

5. Estimate of how much of your art you post online vs. the art you keep for yourself

Uh... almost everything I make is posted online in some form (Tumblr, public or private Twitter, Discord, rarely Instagram). The only art I tend to keep to myself is schoolwork (this semester I have both a drawing and photography class and YES PHOTOGRAPHY IS ART DON'T @ ME,), and even then I come up with a few gems to share out there. Not for it to get attention, of course! I just like them.

7. A medium of art you don't work in but appreciate

Oils. I've tried to work with it before. It fucking sucks for me. Anyone who can handle that mess has my respect.

8. What's an old project idea that you've lost interest in

I actually feel like I lost interest in the Young Guardians AU really early on, which is why its posting schedule was... sporadic, let's say that. I dunno, compared to the Club of Demons I really didn't feel I had that much to work with. Though I haven't fully lost interest in it! I had an idea for Glade/Sucre that I wanna get out there, even if it ends up not being Cookie Run related (and you KNOW it won't be).

11. Do you listen to anything while drawing? If so, what

Either video game OSTs (lately a lot of Pop'n stuff, though I'll dive into my other interests for specific vibes) or longform video essays about Youtube drama or niche subjects that I normally wouldn't give a shit about. Nice white noise.

19. Favorite inanimate objects to draw (food, nature, etc.)

SPAAAAAAAAAACE I love drawing space BGs they're so relaxing

21. Art styles nothing like your own but you like anyways

I think this Twitter artist's style counts for it. They draw MZD a LOT, but they always give him a unique spin of some sort and I think that's really cool! Also any realistic style that tends to have some surreal body horror (plants, crystals, anything that wouldn't actually happen to a human or animal). Like Chainsaw Man when the man becomes a chainsaw. I think body horror in that vein is cool. Fuck you /lh.

[interact-if]

Umm hi 👉👈 I realized that most of the asks you guys get are about games and rec lists. You guys deserve so much recognition for the work you put in this blog, so I wanted to ask if I can do a little get-to-know-the-mods thing? If that's okay!

1. Besides writing, what are your hobbies?

2. Do you have a niche interest right now?

3. Any fave songs/artists/bands?

4. Any fave movies/tv shows?

5. On a scale of 1-10, how likely would you survive in your wip's world?

You can totally ignore this if you guys want, no pressure. Anyway, much love to all the interact-if mods! You guys are incredible! ❤

We saw this ask and we went 👀 👀 👀 so we’re happy to answer! Thank you so much for the fun ask!

 We also rated our survivability in all of our collective games, since Mars isn't an author! Fun stuff! Spoilers, though: it’s really not looking so great for me (Dani) but that’s fine!!!  😌

1. I’m a photographer as well as a graphic artist (but not like. A painter/drawer kind of artist!) and, on a general level, a maker and a tinkerer!

2. Fountain pens! I only write with ink, and only with fountain pens, and I use bottled inks/converters!

3. I’m pretty eclectic with music, but my top genres are alt rock, indie, indie pop, etc, as well as top 40s and some rap.

4. I feel like this is the hardest one for me to answer? Favorite movies/shows? Avatar: the Last Airbender has been a favorite show of mine since I was a little kid, but I have a harder time thinking of shows I would call a favorite in recent years. There are shows I’ve liked, and a lot of shows I’ve watched. But I’m picky! And demanding! It takes a lot to earn a place in Dani’s Trophy Case of Favorites. 😌 I would say I quite liked A Quite Place (movie), and I liked Us (movie). When it comes to TV shows, I have a hard time being pleased with them if they don’t end well. As a result, I have a penchant for a good limited series/miniseries (because they’re stories that have an end in mind and the plot reflects that, dagnabbit).

5. Heh. Okay.

In The Goodfellows? I think I stand I chance. I can exercise my sparkling wit and lovable personality to the best effect. I’m gonna give myself an 8/10 survivability rating. Even if I don’t have the right skills, I can go crying to the person who does and they’ll save me. Maybe.

In Creatures’ Cradle? I’m super $**!%d. 😌 1/10 survivability rating. And that 1 is me being nice to myself. The day the apocalypse breaks out I would probably be patient 0. I am self-aware. I would not do well in an apocalypse. Zombies care not for aforementioned sparkling wit and lovable personality, and I have all the muscle of a boiled spaghetti noodle. So it’s a no go.

Greater Than Gods (Cruz): Well. I’m going to be optimistic. And say that I have the wisdom not to do things I shouldn’t do and not to rock boats I shouldn’t rock. I’m going to give myself a 7/10 based on insider information, but also based on reckless optimism!

Vardir (Cruz): Cruz says this is a lighthearted game, so 10/10 LOL.

When it Hungers (Roast): I’m giving myself a nice, mediocre 5/10. I think I could put my mind to work here; I joke that I’m the village idiot, but I’m actually pretty smart! Unfortunately, I’m also curious, and maybe a little bad with authorities who won’t answer my questions. So I knocked off a lot of points due to the fact that I’d probably poke the metaphorical bear. So it’s a real coin flip as to whether I’d really make it or not.

Orthall Bay (Nines): Considering the genre is “horror” and the game intro includes the words “monster” and “maim,” I’m giving myself a whooping, enthusiastic 3/10. Yes, folks, I am that confident in myself! Once again, I can’t charm the socks off a monster (or can I?), so one of my greatest weapons is snatched from beneath my feet. Alas!

1. Beloved I’m a college student in the middle of a pandemic... i can hardly even write LOL i do draw at times which u can see in my personal blog (nothing too good really) and i used to do karate before things went to shit <3

2. Nothing niche I believe? All I do is leave Netflix as bg noise every day n play popular videgames (genshin)

3. Porter Robinson <3 I love Bea Miller a lot as well but lately I’ve been feeling Porter a lot

4. The Good Place <3

5. My WIPs:

Greater than Gods: Highly situational, the world GtG is set in is as broad as the real world LOL so I don’t have an universal answer. But keeping it vague, and knowing my own personality, I feel like 5/10. depends on my luck.

Vardir: 10/10 no one dies in Vikgade, unless you’re a hunter but I wouldn’t be a hunter <3

Others’ WIPs

I'm gonna give myself a solid 5/10 in all other WIPs because y'all aren't writing lighthearted stories either. I feel like as long as I avoid the role of the MC I will be mostly fine. I hope. But as Dani said I'm also prone to fight the wrong person and dig my own grave so 😌

1. Well, writing is a very, very, very, distant hobby since Words Hard, but I like to crochet and sculpt a little! Anything to do with fiddling with my hands and I’m good to go. And like, debatable but graphic design is my passion [insert clown emoji here since Tumblr said No]

2. Oh yeah a bunch! DnD yelling at people, thinking of arson, crocheting, rock climbing and simply vibing. I got into podcasts a few years ago and I’m always looking for more recs, so if you have some, hmu 😤

3. Pls,,,,my music taste is,,,so weird do not let me expose myself with lack of consistency but uhh. Current songs that are stuck in my head include; Cult of Dionysus , Achilles Come Down and The Last Shanty  

4. If you’ve ever spoken to me before, I probably yelled about Pacific Rim to you or at you. Plus I love all The Mummy films and really enjoyed Castlevania (s3 excluded, we do not perceive that) as well! 

5. Ah, mod survival simulator pt. 3

Alright, let’s go!  I don’t have a WIP because again, words hard, but like, considering how feral I am when not tryna seem professional hm... 

The Goodfellows: I wanna say a solid 7/10 because I’d hardcore vibe with the Traveler and probably instigate so much nonsense. I can also bribe with blueberry cake so maybe. 

Creature’s Cradle: maybe a 4/10 and only because of pure spite keeping me alive long enough to smack someone. I’ve prepared for hypothetical  zombie apolcapyses and I won’t hesitate to bap, but will be bapped back because I’m weak as hell. 

Greater Than Gods: a toss up between 2/10 and 7/10! I can vibe and be chill but I also have terrible impulse control so... 

Vardir: hm....I think pretty good survival rates all around? If you ask me to fight then like, okay sure, your knees are mine. So maybe a 8/10? 

When it Hungers: .......8/10 just because I’d refuse to die if I can be a cool creature. Living for the aesthetic can and will drag me outta hell. But I’m also clumsy as hell so I’d probably crash as a porcelain or hold a rooster and perish (aka, real rating is a good 3/10) 

Orthall Bay: 2/10, nope. Nope I’d be taken out in a heartbeat. Monsters can go pspsps and I’d head straight into the dark creepy forest like a fool if someone comes @ me. Half the time I’ll just assume it’s sfx makeup and vibe until it’s too late. 

god, never put me in a universe where I cannot squawk like a bird and throw pebbles from a window. Oof

Anon, you're so sweet! I give you a forehead smoomch <333 As for your questions...

1. If I'm not writing, I'm usually watching video essays on Youtube. My go-to channels as of right now is Disrupt and Aperture! I just really like their videos. Aside from that, I recently got into podcasts. Currently going through Hello From The Hallowoods and Shelter and Warning, which are made by queer creators!

2. Oh oof, there's quite a bit so I'm just gonna put down one thing. For some reason, I really got into collecting tiny astronaut things? I recently bought this astronaut desk light, and I've got a package coming in for the miniatures I ordered. No purpose for them other than I think they're neat <3

3. I'm a bit private with my music taste (even tho I have Spotify connected on Discord lmao), but there's 5 songs that I'm currently obsessed with. I keep replaying them over and over again. Just squeezing all the serotonin I could get outta them.

4. I can't really say I have a fave TV show or movie because I can't really just pick one, but my current fave is 9-1-1 and Resident Alien. 9-1-1 because I just really love the found-family dynamics and how the show tackles sensitive topics, and Resident Alien because it's lighthearted comedy. My all-time fave movie is Flipped! I have the book too and I like rereading from time to time <3

5. You're in for a doozy, anon, because we're rating each other's games <333

The Goodfellows: 7/10

Listen. Shenanigans with the Traveler. I would get up to so many of them and that is what'll get me possibly bodied, not the actual environment itself <3

Greater than Gods: 7/10

I like to think I have enough common sense to uhhh not recklessly flip stones that should not be flipped <3 I'm a cautious and skeptic person irl so I think I'll hold up well? Then again, it's a vast environment change and while I can adapt pretty quick, I wouldn't like the lack of control in the unknown.

Vardir: 10/10

Going off what Cruz said, Vardir is lighthearted and focused on personal growth so I think I'll be okay! Self-growth here I come, babey!

Creatures' Cradle: 8/10

Maybe I'm overestimating myself, but I think I'll be able to survive in a supernatural post-apocalyptic world! Ah, but it depends on the motivation though. I like the idea of rebuilding communities and eventually societies, but the survival turmoil would be a constant battle I'd have to overcome. If we're talking survival itself though, I think I'll do well.

When it Hungers: 8/10

That's probably my wishful thinking but I think I'll be fine. Maybe. Possibly. Don't like the idea of being regulated by an organization so if I was a non-human creature that could pose a problem but I can roll with it <3

Orthall Bay: 6/10

Assuming I'm not playing as MC, my chances of survival uhhh changes quite drastically. Not enough to guarantee an untimely demise, but certainly enough that it would constantly keep me on my toes. I think that's the safest answer I can get without spoiling anything lmao

Thank you so much for asking! It's super sweet of you <3

1. Too many :'D I knit, I sew, I do carpentry (well, learning), I bake, I'm hammering away at HTML and CSS, my job kind of encourages learning new things and I take that to picking up new hobbies!

2. My time is kind of consumed with school work and work work and WIP work so not a lot of time to pursue niche interests right now. I've been watching a lot of horror game playthroughs, true crime youtubers, and an adorable show on Netflix called the Repair Shop <3

3. My taste in music is "what am I vibing with atm?" I've been listening to a lot of 80's music atm (don't @ me), but also Lo Fang and Kaleo, and whatever spotify recommends me on my discover weekly which is usually complete chaos.

4. I love the Mummy even though it hasn't aged 100% well (I'm a librarian, of course it's one of my gotos LOL), Legally Blonde, Leverage, Jumanji (the original), I'm....very bad at having recent tastes... and very bad at remembering my favorites when asked.

5.

The Goodfellows: I'm a creature of comfort, 5/10 if I can just luxuriate in town and not actually interact with the story sfjkdbsdkf

Creature’s Cradle: I'd like to think I have a 50/50 shot XD 5/10, I want to think I'd be decent at a zombie apocalypse but ultimately would suffer an early fate.

Greater Than Gods: 10/10 if I'm just vibing, less so if I'm involved in the actual story XD

Vardir: I'd still suffer without technology but I can also knit for a living in this world so I'm down 8/10

When it Hungers: I feel like I could vibe here, there's tech if dated, hot showers, telephones are around by now... might still get bored. 7/10 though it'd be cool to be another creature....I should make a 'what creature of snv are you' quiz!

Orthall Bay: 7/10 idk I feel like after the first monster of the week I'd just skip town XDDDD I'm the worst protagonist, I see danger I just leave.

[seerofmike]

The Writing In Apex Kinda Sucks And Also They Use Ship Bait As A Plot Device I Hate It Here

a stupid essay/rant encouraged by @zombiegloss that originally started as a youtube video script so if its like. weird at points. this was intended to be a verbal rant SNZISKSIA

basically i'm gonna talk abt the caustic-wattson-crypto relationship drama and how i think it was mishandled and how much the writers kind of Suck because i Can

you are free to disagree with me on any of my points and think that this aspect of the story was handled well, this is just my opinion, and i'd love to hear your thoughts and counterpoints !

first, addressing some things:

i know this is a battle royale and not necessarily a story-based game, so i can’t expect it to have masterful witcher-style writing.

but with the direction the game seems to be going; putting quests, evolving interactions, and comics in the game, plus coming out with a lore book and hinting at something bigger in the future, i think it’s fair to criticize it for lackluster writing, especially since what i’m criticizing has been something present since Apex’s story technically began.

secondly, i am not a professional writer. i’m a high schooler who writes as a hobby. i don’t have the decades of experience that some of the apex writers do, and i can’t claim to be a better writer than they are--but i also don’t have to be a five-star chef to realize that something tastes bad. when i critique something and give suggestions, i am not saying i could’ve done it better. i’m just bringing up what i think could have worked.

third, before i upset anyone , when i say a relationship is badly written, i’m not telling you that you can’t ship it or that your ship sucks. i’ll briefly touch on the shipping aspect of this and how it’s a detriment to the story but Ye

okay, so with that out of the way, let us Begin

relationships are often the emotional core of a story, and how strong your reaction is to conflict in these relationships depends on how the story sets them up. if you want the audience to care about these characters and what they go through, you need to develop them and establish the type of relationship they have well. it’s why so many people cried in the last episode of telltale’s the walking dead. you’ve spent roughly 12 hours bonding with clementine and protecting her, and your relationship with her is part of several story beats as well as character beats for lee. 

when these two characters’ relationship reaches its peak at the end of the game, it’s powerful, and it’s emotional. you care. you feel something, and the fact that you have to choose what to do to lee only makes it more gut-wrenching. 

now, the walking dead is entirely story-based and especially character-driven, so it may be unfair to compare it to apex, but i just wanted to lay the groundwork down for what i think is a strong relationship that makes you feel something when conflict arrives, in this case the conflict being lee getting bit and clementine having to decide his fate.

the broken ghost in general is kind of not-good sometimes, tom casiello previously wrote for soap operas and you can really, REALLY tell sometimes.

this story feels like it should’ve taken place a little later, and that we should’ve had a season to actually set up the characters and their relationships, but that’s a story for another day.

to put it bluntly, the set-up for the crypto, wattson, and caustic conflict is done poorly. for caustic and wattson's relationship it’s a little better, but not by much. 

wattson and caustic having a relationship was hinted at in season 2, when her lore indicated that caustic was among one of the Legends who comforted her after her father died. In season four lore materials posted on Twitter, an email from Jacob Young states that Caustic is acting paternal towards Wattson. In season five, interactions get added to the Game, and this is the first time we actually see their relationship in action, as they have unique revive voice lines for each other. in the quests, when wattson is injured, caustic lashes out at loba and attacks her out of what seems to be anger at wattson’s current state.

Side Note this plot point was really stupid and done for cheap drama because she literally wakes up like two chapters later and they don’t even give her anything to say it’s just suddenly oh yeah crypto and wattson are working together. the same exact injury thing happens to octane later but nobody gIVES A SHIT because again, it’s just cheap soap opera drama.

their relationship might seem a little bit sudden for anyone who wasn’t on top of twitter lore drops, but like, it’s okay, i guess. i’ll give it the slightest credit for at least establishing something between the two in terms of voice lines and stuff, even if for some it might seem like it came out of nowhere.

what did come out of nowhere, though, was crypto and wattson’s friendship. in the quests, crypto and wattson are tasked with rebuilding the broken ghost because of their respective skills, and they’re seen talking in chapter six while they work on it. we’re not really given a clear timeline on how long the story in the broken ghost is, but i think it takes about a week, maybe.

unlike wattson and caustic, their relationship has been given absolutely zero material to work with before now, not even a passing glance in the trailers--which is a little weird considering crypto took down the repulsor tower and destroyed wattson’s home, but. Whatever.

tl dr of the chapter: crypto and wattson talk to each other while doing nerd shit, crypto laughs at wattson’s bad pun, and then suddenly they’re BESTIEEEES, until a couple dozen lines later in the same chapter. then they’re Not.

crypto’s drone gets hacked by revenant while everyone was kind of on edge after the reveal of a spy in their midst, he gets framed as the spy by caustic, anddddd wattson gets upset.

before i get into how dumb this storyline is, i’m gonna talk about the set-up to this conflict.

we have been given no reason to believe that these characters have ever talked to each other, and quite frankly, their friendship doesn’t really make sense.

ignoring the fact that crypto destroyed wattson’s home--which she probably doesn’t know about, so that’s forgiven for now--crypto is a paranoid guy. in the lore book he makes people stand on fucking footprints in his house so he can scan them for weapons and listening devices, and he apparently doesn’t stick around much after the games and nobody knows anything about him because he doesn’t talk to them.

a key part of crypto’s story is the fact that he is undercover and afraid of anyone finding out anything about him ever. him becoming friends with wattson kind of comes out of the blue, and we’re not even given a reason as to why they supposedly became close in the first place. i would kind of understand if like, maybe he draws parallels with her and mila in his mind and it makes him open up a little more, but that doesn’t happen. he just laughs at her joke and suddenly they’re friends.

maybe they’re trying to go for this ‘wattson can become friends with anybody’ angle, kind of hinted at with caustic but not really we’ll get into that, but that also? kind of doesn’t make sense since so many of her voice lines straight-up say she doesn’t understand people and electricity is more her thing, but honestly, she also does have those really friendly elements in her voice lines too, so its not as egregious as what they did with crypto.

their sudden out-of-the-blue friendship would’ve been fine if they spent a little more time fleshing it out, and giving us something to work with, but instead, the story immediately tries to rip it apart and frame it as this grand conflict where crypto is framed as the mole, crypto then accuses caustic, and wattson feels betrayed.

except it doesn’t really work, because we don’t give a shit. for several reasons. 

one: crypto and wattson became friends and then ended their friendship in the same exact chapter. they did not speak to each other onscreen until this chapter began, you can read the entire quest on the wiki and see for yourself that their interactions up until that point were nonexistent aside from mentions in the narration that they were building something together.

the reason wattson feels betrayed is kind of stupid too. why does she really care that much if one of them betrayed loba? nobody else really cared about the fact that one of them was a spy, in fact, nobody even seems to like loba that much, and they just found out that loba’s been lying to them this whole time, and wattson was conscious for that conversation and had a speaking line, so she’s fully aware of the situation. 

maybe it’s just like, the idea that one of them lied, but that’s still kind of a weak reason. 

this entire betrayal thing is just dumb, and it gets even worse when you realize that there could have been an actual legitimate reason for wattson to feel betrayed by crypto--even if it still would’ve come across as weak conflict because of their newly established friendship, it would’ve made more sense than this. 

Crypto destroyed Wattson’s home. He took down the tower and then all the flyers and stuff invaded Kings Canyon and made it their bitch. Not only that, but Wattson considers the Syndicate her family. The Syndicate are the very people who framed Crypto for murder and he’s trying to take them down. 

They could’ve set up actual conflict with these things, and it almost seemed like they would, because Caustic briefly brings up that Crypto could be working with Revenant because he has something against the Syndicate but then that doesn’t really go anywhere and we’re just back to Wattson feeling betrayed because either Crypto or Caustic was a spy and she doesn’t know who.

Weak conflict could’ve been made better by a strong relationship and a weak relationship could’ve still been interesting with strong conflict, but both the relationship between Crypto and Wattson and the conflict that drives them splitting up as friends were really weak and didn’t make much sense. 

It would’ve been ten times more interesting if Wattson found out Crypto ruined her home, the arena she grew up in, and was now participating in the Games to take out the people she regards as her family. That’s where her distrust could’ve manifested and conflict could’ve began, but instead it was the stupid betraying loba thing. why do you care. you just started talking to this guy like 2 hours ago.

also caustic’s whole reason for framing crypto feels stupid as fuck. he didn’t just frame crypto randomly, he framed him specifically because he doesn't want him to influence wattsob because he likes her Big Brain, but this is the FIRST time we have seen those two interact. 

what influence is he talking about? wraith and wattson have been shown to be friendly with each other in the trailers, according to tom’s tweets, and in the story too so why doesn’t he frame her? at this point the audience had slightly more build-up for those two’s relationship than crypto and wattson and a betrayal storyline would’ve felt a little more deserved if still weak.

this is the point where i briefly want to touch upon shipping, and the fact that part of this conflict feels driven by shipbait. 

aside from their relationship coming out of nowhere and the writers trying to make the stakes seem high and deeply emotional to the characters involved (despite this essentially being the first time they’ve ever interacted) tom casiello literally addresses shippers in a tweet regarding chapter seven, and as the story between these characters progresses, it becomes clear to me, at least that the crypto-wattson thing is just bait for shippers, and it’s lazy. 

it’s easy to get away with giving your characters little to no relationship development if you’re just counting on shippers to do the heavy mental lifting for you

why should i put any effort into making this relationship seem believable? people are going to see a young guy and a young girl having bare minimum interaction and assume there’s romantic interest! then i don’t have to do any work, see look, it’s a ready-made relationship wrapped in a bow for me! all that’s left for me to do is give them conflict so i can keep teasing shippers with lines like ‘you never deserved her’!

i think it’s reasonable for me to suspect shipbait, since tom casiello likes doing darksparks shipbait on twitter, and i’m like, eighty percent sure mirage and bloodhound suddenly being childhood friends in the book is shipbait too, because these characters were the number one ship in apex for a long time despite little to no interaction, and then all of a sudden in the lore book they’re childhood friends despite this literally never being mentioned before?

like bloodhound is set up to be mysterious and nobody knows what they look like, or where they’re from, or who their family is--except for mirage Apparently, who played with them when he was a kid on their home planet, and has seen them with their mask off, because bloodhound did not wear a mask when their parents were still alive.

its weird.

i’m pretty sure they’ve said somewhere they were working on this book before apex even came out, so i could just be completely wrong and they always planned for mirage and bloodhound to know each other, but if that’s the case, why did they never mention it like they did octane and lifeline?

i refuse to believe MIRAGE never brought it up either like ‘heeeeyy bloodhound remember when we used to throw eggs at our parents lab haha wanna go do to that to bangalore’s room’ 

[silence]

‘good talk buddy’

ANYWAYS I GOT OFF TOPIC. POINT IS, shipping is a detriment to the story because the writers don’t feel like they actually have to put any work into establishing or developing the relationship between characters when they know the community’s just going to do it for them anyways, and that they can put in shipbait and it’s fine and it makes sense when it really doesn’t.

imagine watching captain america civil war after not seeing a single other marvel movie.

why would you care about the avengers splitting up or tony and steve butting heads or steve’s commitment to bucky? you wouldn’t care, at least not as much as someone who’s seen all the movies and knows the relationship between the characters and why the sokovia accords exist in the first place. you don’t have context and you don’t have any reason to be emotionally invested in these characters’ relationship.

 this feels like that. the writers tried to squeeze this relationship and stuff into a single chapter and we don’t fucking care unless we were already invested in the idea of their relationship (shippers) because we barely spent any time with it.

so to summarize this little section, the set-up of this storyline Kinda Sucks! crypto and wattson barely seem to know each other, because we the audience barely saw them together and the writers are relying on shipbait in place of a relationship.

wattson and caustic are a little better but not great, but the conflict is stupid and it only gets stupider.

moving onto summarizing the rest of the broken ghost, gibraltar and caustic talk, caustic LITERALLY confesses to being the mole and says he framed crypto so he couldn’t corrupt wattson and to appear innocent because his identity was suspected, then that wraps up the season storyline.

season six begins with new voice lines, where wattson has had enough of crypto and caustic’s shit and is all passive-aggressive and going ‘this doesn’t change anything’. she has to decide who to trust, and how to figure out The Truth for herself because she’s not a little girl anymore. crypto and caustic are both trying to convince her they’re innocent and it creates some interesting conflict.

just kidding. it’s terrible conflict. you want to know why?

BECAUSE GIBRALTAR TRIED TO TELL HER THE TRUTH, RIGHT AFTER THE SEASON 5 QUEST HAPPENED, AND SHE LITERALLY REFUSED TO HEAR IT.

LIKE THERE’S A SEASON 6 LOADING SCREEN WHERE HE’S TELLING EVERYONE THE TRUTH ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED, AND WHEN HE GETS TO WATTSON AND IS LIKE HEY I KNOW WHO THE MOLE WAS AND WHY THEY DID IT, SHE JUST GOES i dont wanna hear it. i need to think

IF YOU WANT THE TRUTH WHY ARE YOU REFUSING TO HEAR IT

SHE SPENDS ALMOST TWO ENTIRE SEASONS MAD AT CRYPTO FOR SOMETHING HE DIDN’T DO BECAUSE SHE TOLD GIBRALTAR TO FUCK OFF WHEN HE TRIED TO TELL HER WHAT HAPPENED

ITS SO DUMB

i think it was towards the end of season 6 or the beginning of season 7 where apex posted this picture of wattson asleep at her desk where she has a letter from gibraltar on it that looks like it tells her the truth, so she knows now, she knows what happened, but NOW her issue is the fact that she doesn’t know anything about crypto.

WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT IS YOUR GODDAMN DAMAGE. YOU DON’T KNOW SHIT ABOUT BLOODHOUND EITHER ARE YOU THIS UPSET WITH BLOODHOUND TOO?? HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO PATHFINDER. DO YOU HATE PATHFINDER TOO

oh but she was friends with crypto and now she’s mad that he lied to her EXCEPT THEIR RELATIONSHIP WASN’T BUILT UP WELL SO IT JUST FEELS STUPID. THEY SPENT LONGER BEING NOT-FRIENDS THAN THEY SPENT BEING FRIENDS. THEY BECAME FRIENDS IN ONE CHAPTER AND THEN IMMEDIATELY AT THE END OF THAT CHAPTER THEIR FRIENDSHIP ENDED AND THEN WATTSON SPENT LIKE 2 SEASONS MAD AT HIM FOR SOMETHING HE DIDN’T DO . 

AND THE WRITERS TRIED TO RECTIFY THIS BY SAYING OH SHE’S NOT MAD ABOUT THE TRAITOR THING SHE’S MAD BECAUSE SHE DOESN’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HIM AND IT’S LIKE WHY THE FUCK DID YOU NOT MAKE THAT CLEAR WHY DOES SHE SAY ‘IT DOESN’T CHANGE WHAT YOU DID’ IN HER VOICE LINES WHY DOES SHE CALL HIM A TRAITOR IF HER CONFLICT WAS HER NOT KNOWING MUCH ABOUT HIM . WHAT DID HE DO. 

HE JUST STOOD THERE AND LAUGHED AT HER JOKE AND THEN HE GOT FRAMED AND THEN THAT WAS THE END OF THE CHAPTER AND NOW SHES SUDDENLY LIKE IM ACTUALLY MAD BECAUSE YOURE A LIAR AND I CANT TRUST YOU EVEN THOUGH I NOW KNOW YOU WERE FRAMED I STILL DO NOT LIKE YOU AND HES LIKE YEAH THATS MY FAULT

The Caustic voicelines are stupid too, again his reason for framing Crypto was stupid and a lot of his voicelines just seem to be that shipbait thing again but like from the angle of overprotective dad who doesn’t like the new boyfriend. it’s stupid but not as egeregious as this next part which is

crypto telling wattson his identity.

CRYPTO was framed for MURDER and is paranoid and can’t trust anyone and doesn’t talk to anyone and the last time he did talk to someone he got framed for Another thing and the person he was talking to turned her back on him and actively refused to know the truth for like 2 seasons and then he went This Is Fine I Can Tell Her My Identity

the stupidest update to this storyline was crypto telling wattson the truth

why did they do it on the dropship where there are presumably syndicate members and other legends around.

why didn’t he scan wattson for listening devices like he did for pathfinder in the book.

why is he telling her his identity when he knows she has very close ties to the people that FRAMED HIM for MURDER. Does he trust her that much? WHY? They spoke to each other in a chapter and then spent two seasons not talking to each other beyond passive-aggressive BS. why are you so fucking stupid taejoon

their relationship was so poorly set-up that even if the writers maybe intended for them to come across as close friends who had spent weeks bonding, it really feels like they became friends in a single conversation, had a falling out, and now crypto suddenly trusts her with his identity after an undetermined amount of time because he wants to be friends again. 

that does not make SENSE this conflict feels contrived AS FUCK and the resolution feels even worse and unearned UGGGHHHH

it honestly comes across as crypto feeling desperate for friendship, and maybe this would’ve worked better if that’s the angle they played it as.

he’s been alone for roughly two years, and just wants a friend, and he’s honestly so lonely he just breaks down to the first person who’s really talked to him. it could’ve been an interesting little part of his character, and they could've gone into depth about how much this situation has affected him, but that’s not what they’re doing. he’s still paranoid and anxious and doesn’t trust anyone, except for wattson, because the plot needs him to or else there won’t be any stupid soap opera drama.

and to rub salt in the wound, wattson’s new voice lines with caustic have him telling her that she forgave crypto.

WHAT ARE YOU FORGIVING HIM FOR. ARE YOU FORGIVING HIM FOR BEING FRAMED? WHY DID HE HAVE TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU WHEN YOU WERE THE ONE WHO REFUSED TO HEAR THE TRUTH?

 did the conversation just go hey my real name is taejoon park and something bad happened to me and she went aight i forgive you WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

Caustic’s new voice lines to Crypto where he’s like ‘what did you tell her’--YOU TOLD GIBRALTAR STRAIGHT-UP YOUR EVIL MASTER PLAN LIKE A SUPERVILLAIN AND NOW YOU’RE SURPRISED WATTSON AND CRYPTO ARE ON GOOD TERMS NOW?!

THAT’S LIKE TELLING SOMEONE YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER AND THEN BEING SURPRISED WHEN YOU BECOME THE VICTIM OF IDENTITY FRAUD. YOU SET YOURSELF UP FOR THIS WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE CRYPTO DID SOMETHING SINISTER OR LIED OR WHATEVER. WHAT THE FUCK. WHY DO YOU HAVE LIKE 3 BRAINCELLS

this is at like ten pages already so i’m going to just try and wrap this up quickly. 

it’s frustrating seeing this storyline play out when there are actually good relationships and storylines written into apex. i’m kind of getting tired of the loba and revenant conflict, but we at least had set-up to it in the form of a few animated shorts and it doesn’t play out as stupidly as this story does. bangalore and loba’s friendship is actually developed well, even if the point between the end of season 5 and season 6 where they suddenly talk like each other feels like it could’ve used a little more. 

where crypto and wattson having an established friendship in the broken ghost failed, lifeline and octane’s established friendship works because we’ve been told since octane’s release they were childhood friends and given lore materials that indicate they’ve known each other for a very long time.

apex wants this storyline between crypto and wattson and caustic to feel dramatic and tense and ultimately rewarding when crypto and wattson did become friends for real and stuff, but instead it just comes across as hollow and empty. 

there’s nothing there. it’s a case of tell, don’t show, and it looks like this stupid conflict is gonna keep going for another couple of seasons at this rate. 

side note: this entire script was written before the new twitter comics

please tell me ur thoughts and feel free to respond with ur own lil essay

also believe it or not this is not the "shipping is a detriment to apex's story" essay i was gonna write this is a completely different essay that has some overlap SKXISOSOW

[winecupwars]

progress report: i missed a month, oops!

august was quite a month, and it looks like september is going to be just as eventful :) 

OK - TO RECAP. since we last spoke, i:

got a nintendo switch lite!!!

got fully vaccinated!!! hooray! it’s just with sinovac but fuck, i’ll take what i can get. i also just got the flu shot, so i really hope i don’t get sick any time soon

tried (and failed) to do outfit august :( i only managed to draw the bases for five of my ocs, plus one outfit each for only two of them. it was a worthy endeavour; just one that i wasn’t up to last month

almost got tricked by a fucking phishing scam

got my qc permit at work, which means that i graduated from training and can now edit live documents

spent wayyy too much money on mugs and makeup and earrings and loose leaf tea and stickers and wall decorations on shopee

began christmas shopping hehe

shaved all my hair off again, waited a few weeks, and then bleached it all to hell

reread my thesis, cringed, then reread it again with an open mind, and found something that could be further developed :) i will elaborate in a bit

that’s all, basically! that’s the tl;dr. if you don’t mind, i am going to ramble on.

listened: my uncle bought me and my cousin a couple of mcr vinyls and i found a vinyl of bullets on shopee (which i bought, yes) so yeah it’s just been mcr nonstop for a bit, and then it was mitski, again, and then hozier, and right now, frank ocean.

i realized that listening to music on analog devices like turntables, cd players, casette players, etc, is much more... involved? listening to music like that feels like a Happening, an Event, an Action that requires your full attention, as opposed to listening on spotify or wherever, which makes the music feel more ephemeral, more like a fleeting thing that you can have in the background while you’re doing something else.

i think it’s because, with streaming, you have a vast library of music that you can access at the tap of a finger, and you can switch songs so easily. with analog, you’re on a journey with the album you’re listening to. you’re there from the first track to the last. plus, you’re limited to the albums that you’re listening to, to the albums that you have on hand. the process is more solid, somehow? more tangible. i don't know.

watched: honestly, i mostly watched hour-long video essays on youtube about the randomest shit. the one that stuck the most was the sadism of class by james somerton, which began as an analysis of painter of the night (a very very nsfw manhwa which i read just to understand what this vid was talking about) and ended as a criticism of capitalism and class struggle. it’s a good video. the manhwa’s alright, but whoo trigger warnings for sexual abuse, emotional manipulation, emotional abuse, gaslighting, etc etc.

other than that, i watched how to be a tyrant, the suicide squad (2021), and the green knight - all of which i enjoyed, to an extent. the second suicide squad was miles miles miles better than the first one and i hope it’s the start of a streak of good dc movies bc honestly i’m tired of the mcu. the green knight was... hoo boy... dev patel 😍😍😍😍😍😍! like a lot of a24 movies, it was lush, gorgeous, and fucking incomprehensible. i loved it. i might watch it again.

played: i played a bunch of games!

animal crossing - i absolutely understand why people are so obsessed with it! it’s so adorable and relaxing; it’s truly an escape from the shitstorm that is life in the philippines

hades - at first i didn’t think i would like it because it’s a rogue-like, but surprisingly, i enjoy it! the character designs are top-notch, chef’s kiss, stunning. the writing is impeccable too. and while i still haven’t escaped the underworld after about 39 tries, i’m fully having fun playing it!

i also bought vampire the masquerade: shadows of new york, which i haven’t started yet, little nightmares, which freaks me out so haven’t progressed much, and the outer worlds, which i am excited to play once i have the gaming bug

made:  i made a cream cheese tomato galette and a millionaire’s shortbread! both were pretty good. here’s some pics.

misc: ok ok ok this is what im excited about!

so since i was a creative writing major, my thesis was supposed to be a creative work, so i made a graphic novel! this was in 2015/2016. lots of shit happened while i was making it, including a pretty intense depressive episode and my advisor dropping me, but i got a flat uno (the highest grade you can get hehe) so it was all good, in the end!

my thesis was about kapitan kwek kwek, a superhero with kwek kwek powers. this guy:

he is my orange son and i love him so much. i first made a comic with him in 2014 for a class and sold it at komikon, where it sold out :) so there were people asking me about the graphic novel when i graduated. unfortunately i fell into the worst depressive episode i've ever had and all i wanted to do was die, so the kapitan kwek kwek graphic novel got shelved for years and years.

...until now!

yes yes even though there are parts of my thesis that's cringey (god, the panelling was horrendous), there's parts that are still entertaining and could be developed into something better than it was. so i'm remaking the comics and while it's still in its planning stages, i'm super super excited! i even made a twitter and an instagram and a tumblr for this project!! this is the most excited that i've been since.... well, since a long long time ago :) so i'm hype! and i hope my hype for this doesn't die down lol