#i like making silly images for the silly guys that kidnap my brain

[narsh-poptarts]

One man's trash is another man's hydrogen bomb

[pakunod-a]

Open my heart, read the signs. || Yandere!Vil Schoenheit x Fem!Reader

Synopsis: Yandere kidnaps victim, finds out victim is over the moon for them. What to do in a situation wherein my love interest likes me back, without the use of my carefully thought-out plan?

Warnings: Realistically, this should be titled as Whiny!Fem!Reader (totally not a self insert of what I am like irl, no...) Yandere themes, if being dependent on others was a person, it would be the MC in this fic. Reader is 100% on board with Vil's plan. Who wouldn't want to be kidnapped by an insanely handsome guy, AND is in love with you? Honestly, he kinda mean tho. Potentially OOC Vil, this is somewhat fluffy to an extent.. I am not fluent in English, it is not my native language.

Note: am I writing this to satisfy my severe need to taken care of in a concerning way? Maybe. Is this unnerving to see, considering I am a minor? Definitely. But it's all fiction, right? Yeah, totally. Might be long af because I've been brain rotting since forever.

...Darkness.

It was horribly dark in here.

No source of light, not even a window or a lamp.

You try to move, but your movements have been restrained by chains.

You try to wiggle a bit farther, but it's no use. You're stuck here. You begin to sob softly, sniffling as you realize you are stuck in a secluded area, alone.

You hated being left alone, be it in class, projects, friend groups.. you didn't like being left somewhere to wander alone.

...That's right, you hated being alone.

..but you were never truly lonely, weren't you?

After all, Vil Schoenheit always vowed to make time for you.

He swore on the statue of The Fairest Queen, that he would not neglect your need of human affection.

..even if that meant you clinging to his side forever.

You remember walking alongside Vil on Main Street, looking up at the statues of the Seven.

You've always admired them, a lot, actually.

So when you unconsciously walk over to the Fairest Queen's statue, and blurt out your thoughts..

"...Hey Vil, do you think the Fairest Queen would be proud of you for being a spitting image of her?"

Vil paused for a moment, looking down at you to confirm. You were interlinked by the arms, as you stared up to the statue, focusing on the sculpted apple she held by the stem.

"I suppose she would. Why.. why a spitting image of her though? I look nothing like the Fairest Queen herself."

"I think.. because.. I find you very pretty. And you're like.. really reaaally smart at making potions. And you're like, perfect. Real perfect."

You beamed at him, grinning like a Cheshire cat. You felt.. dizzy. A little dizzy, as you lean onto Vil for support.

"Mmm.. feelin' a bit sleepy, Vil. Catch me."

You went limp in his arms, and the world around you fades to black. From fatigue, maybe? Or from something else..

There are a flurry of footsteps making their way towards you. The door creaks open, and you can make out a tall, beautiful shadow from the emitting light.

"You're up, dear? That was quick. I'd have expected you to sleep for a while longer."

You know that voice. You've heard that voice many times, in your dreams, in your nightmares, the voice that sets you to sleep and causes you to wake. The voice that makes your heart yearn for more, if not all of the praises it sings for you.

"...Vil?"

"That's right dear. Vil Schoenheit, if you've forgotten. Now, let's get something through that thick skull of yours, alright? I will not let you go. No matter how much you plea—"

"..'s cold Vil. Hug me please."

That caused Vil to pause for a moment. What do you mean, "hug me please", do you not understand what type of situation you're in? Or maybe, it's a trick! You're trying to deceive him!

"Enough. I'm not here to play your silly games, [Name]. If you try so much as to fool me, then I swear on the Great Seven, you are not leaving this room, nor will you see the light of day again."

Vil.. was raising his voice at you. That was weird. It always felt weird when he yelled at you, or got mad at you for whatever reason. He always dotes on you or compliments you, and on the off-chance that he DOES yell at you, he always apologizes profusely, stroking your hair in an attempt to console you.

"But.. you never yell at me.. Vil—"

"SILENCE! I will not fall for your made up stories and lies! Just for that, you will stay in this room for days on end without human interaction until I say otherwise!"

He storms out the door, slamming it shut. You begin to sob quietly, patiently awaiting the hands that once held you to hold you once more, the voice that used to comfort you until you peacefully slept in his arms..

But alas, he was gone. Gone was the kind, loving Schoenheit you knew, now just a cold and unnerving replacement. Why.. why would he do this to you? After you've trusted him to stay by your side.. to not leave you like the others do.

You thought he was special. You thought you were special to him, too. But you're starting to wonder if everything that he said was only lies for his convenience.

True to his word, you spent the next few days alone in his dark room. As those days pass by, you began sobbing yourself to sleep as the hours trickled through the hourglass of time.

You called out to Vil unconsciously, of course. In your sleep, you would yearn for the presence of another. It just so happens that you call out the name of your captor, Vil Schoenheit, whether you were aware or not.

This breaks Vil's heart, and it almost breaks his resolve too. He wants nothing more than to hold you close, coddle you like a mother, as he whispers sweet nothings into your ear. You would sleep in his bed, as the both of you wrap your arms around each other for warmth.

He hears your calls in the dead of night, echoing through the empty Pomefiore halls. His sleep would be disturbed by a call of distress, his beloved calling out his name.

Alas, he believes this is all a trick, an illusion to simply lower his guard.

And so he spends the next few nights, tossing and turning, guilt eating at him constantly, without fail.

Until one night, your calls stop. You yearn for him no more. He cannot hear the gut-wrenching melody that once rang in his ears, the call of his beloved to come find her, to save her from the predicament he had put her in.

He gives in to his thoughts, and visits his captive at the peak of dawn.

You were there, sitting as if you had been weakened to an extreme extent. He wanted nothing more to hold you, to caress you again. But he has thought of every possibility, every problem, every solution.. but his conscience gets the better of him. He unbinds your hands from the chains restraining them, and carries you back to his bed. Thankfully, you were asleep at this moment, so he had little to no struggle in moving you to an accessible spot.

He sets you down gently, and for the first time since he's held you captive, as he drapes a blanket over your sleeping figure, you unconsciously grab hold of his hand, reaching, feeling the warmth you so dearly missed.

"..—il.. Vil.."

"[Name].. my dearest [Name], did I go too far? Did I break the promise I swore to honor in your name? Tell me [Name], I'll set it right, you don't deserve to suffer like this. You deserve to be—"

He notices that you've shifted, instead of being at a reasonable distance, your first instinct was to cuddle up to whatever warm living thing you find. As a result, you wrapped your arms around his waist, pulling him closer to your sleeping form.

"Nnh.. Vil.."

"Yes dear.. Vil is right here, with you. There is no need to call out, this is where I will stay; beside you. You would appreciate that truly, wouldn't you?"

You did not respond, but something about the relaxed look on your face tells Vil that maybe you weren't planning anything meticulously drastic at all.

"I won't ever leave you again my dear, I promise. I mean it this time."

...You wake up to the feeling of an arm draped over you, your head elevated on someone's chest. You glance up to see Vil Schoenheit embracing you, burying his face into your hair. He mumbles in his sleep, holding you tight as humanly possible.

"Stay.. stay with me.."

"...mm?"

You poke his cheeks. It's adorable whenever he's vulnerable like this. You peck his forehead, and drift off to sleep.

You hear a soft melody that causes you to stir awake, the familiar comfort of two hands caressing your hair as a lullaby graces your ears. You felt all too familiar, until the melody was broken by a question—

"Good morning dear, did you sleep well?"

This time, Vil was the one looking down at you, your head in his lap, as he gazes at you with the most woeful of looks one could give.

"I am sorry. I don't know what's gotten into me. I shouldn't have done this to you. I understand if you want to leave, and I'll understand if you hate me so much to the extent that—"

He was cut off by a kiss to his nose, which both surprised him and caused a blush to his face.

"..ah. You.. um.. seem to react.. not in the way I was hoping you would."

He muses, as he hears you giggle softly.

"I'm fine with being like this with you any day. But please, promise to not lock me up in a dark room for days next time?"

He chuckles, kissing your forehead in adoration.

"Never. Not again. Say, once winter break is over, how about I spend the next spring break with you? Ah.. given that I'll have to clear my schedule, of course."

"You'd do that? Like.. seriously? I thought you had gotten an offer to star in another famous movie as the antagonist?"

He grumbles, pinching your cheeks suddenly.

"And why would I willingly accept the offer if all they would do to my poor image is to villainize me?"

"Ha ha. Funny. It's because of Neige playing the protagonist, isn't it?"

"Partially, yes. But also.. I promised I'd take you to see the first flowers bloom in spring. I can't jeopardize special moments like those for some silly movie."

That remark stuck with you. Your arms only opted to wrap around him tighter.

"..okay then. As long as you promise not to lock me up again."

"Silly little spudling, of course I wouldn't. You've taken quite well to being captured though. I can't help but wonder if maybe you love me or something."

"It's taken you this long to figure out?"

"..what?"

You look in mock horror, teasing him.

"Don't tell me you thought that all the things we do are platonic. Holding hands, interlinking arms, overly affectionate hugs and kisses—does that not seem romantic?"

"..I feel silly."

You giggle at that, kissing the tip of his nose as a response.

"For such a smart person and a great actor, you sure are a dummy."

"Very funny. I'm going to make you sing at the well on the campus in the midst of this cold weather if you don't stop teasing me."

"Like actually?"

"Actually."

Note (2): lol i wrote this at 11pm and finished at 1am cause i kept on dozing off now that ive proofread the entire thing it just seems like an original character rather than Vil himself 🏃

[ohwormwood]

random thoughts i have while playing isat pt. 7

[woe, spoilers be upon ye!]

opened the game and immediately went "im gonna make odile question my sanity!!!" but of course when i enter the house Siffrin decides to turn the scripted tutorial enemy into bean paste and ruins the run--

anyways. this panel will haunt me

i. i dont even know how but. I beat the king without him ever getting a chance to make his first attack. i just kept spamming slow and two jackpots later he was dead. i didn't even knoiw that was possible.

after a bit of fucking around i decided that i was gonna move on to act 5 and promptly burst into tears

update: i accidentally posted this too early dont look at me

sat and cried through the entirety of the party's interactions in act 5

screaming crying throwing up

even the king took one look at this dude and was like "are you good man like, you can take a rest before we do this you're literally about to topple over"

that post where odile says the oven copypasta during the mal du pays scene has permanently altered my brain and i literally laughed out loud when this line appeared

i haven't talked about it before but. a while ago i made a concept for a game based off the backrooms and omori, and odile talking about someone who is forgotten may not exist is the basis for the entire game's plot, it makes me want to go back and flesh it out a bit more!!!

i am deadset on the idea of making an edit with mirabelle's reflection craft but it's an uno reverse card

simultaneously in my brain: an edit where the sound mirabelle's reflection craft makes is the metal pipe meme

i am. such a fucking sucker for sickfics. i cannot get enough of them. act 5 has enough sickfic tropes to make a million spinoff fics on its own, it brings me life and i love it dearly

wailing

this line sends me into orbit every time i see it

odile attacking siffrin. hurts so, so so badly on an emotional level for me. Because like??? i get it. i get it and it sucks and she obviously doesn't want to, but she's scared. But siffrin is even more scared in that moment, and the immediate association of that pain with being hated by odile hurts me so much.

YEAHHHH ODILE GIRLBOSS SUPREME

they're so soft and squishy and cute in this image i c a n t

incoherent WAILING. this. this image. this image just about broke me. THEYRE SO HAPPY and RELIEVED, IT HURTS,,,

the tone shift to talking to the party afterwords is still so funny to me HJBDFBSBFH like lookit him. hes so smol. so silly.

we're kidnapping bonnie guys it's official

my honest reaction to this line: LESBIANS??????

and then she hits me with:

AND I LOST IT

more silly guy siffrin,,,,, my favorite

aaaa aAAAAAAAAAAA

ISABEAU'S SPRITE CHANGING TO BE DOING A HAPPY DANCE AFTER THE CONFESSION IS SOOOOO CUTE WAAA

bonnie and odile clapping for isabeau confessing will never not be funny but ALSO it implies the bonnie knew about Isa's crush. and i for one personally believe that they picked up on it from Odile's relentless teasing of Isabeau as the #1 Isafrin shipper

mirabelle: wait you had a crush on sif?????? and i didn't know????

my roommate, who is ace: this is the aroace experience for real,,,

literally all of the second interactions with Isabeau had me and my roommate SCREAMING

HOWLING LAUGHING

OK I NEVER KNEW???? THAT SIFFRIN TOLD ISABEAU ABOUT THE BAD TOUCH EVENT?????? IN CANON???? I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT WAS A FANON THING BUT THEY ACTUALLY ADDRESS IT IN GAME AND???? ISA'S REACTION HAD ME ON THE FLOOR

siffrin: i kissed you once,,,,

isa:

the words "im being perfectly normal about this" is something i say on a daily basis so i relate to this wholeheartedly

AYO???????? ISA WHEN DID YOU BECOME SO SMOOTH????

this. this image. made my jaw hit the GODDAMN FLOOR. I WAS NOT MENTALLY PREPARED FOR IT AT ALL AND BOTH ME AND MY ROOMMATE S C R E A M E D WHEN WE SAW IT

LIKE???? HOLY FUCK SIF JESUSSSSSSSSSSS CHRIST???? how did isabeau not implode on the spot from that look bro howwwwwwwwwww

AND THEN. AS IF THAT WASN'T ENOUGH TO MAKE MY HEART START SOBBING. ISA BLOWS YOU A KISS???? AAAA???

annnnd scene!

i will continue playing to get some of the different loop endings and i totally plan on doing two hats in the future!!! so im not quite done with this game yet i just got impatient in act 4 and i needed the Emotional Catharsis of Act 5

[legobiwan]

Mario and Luigi "no one is going to hurt you"?

This one...ballooned. I tried to get it out last night, but fell asleep during the endeavor. This is an attempt to explain/rationalize/make sense of some of the behaviors we see during TTYD, especially as it concerns Mario and Luigi. I'll say right now, neither brother is his best at this point, and I have a bit of a hypothesis as to where each of them may have been, emotionally, during this game. I think TTYD is a turning point for Mario, while Luigi's emotional lynchpin comes, to no surprise, after the events of SPM. Anyway, I'm not going to try and edit this any more than the perfunctory attempt I made. Here you go. A Mario-centric drabble that is most definitely not a drabble.

~~~~~~~~~

My dear Mario,

I have finally learned what the legendary treasure is. It is the spirit of a demon! The X-Nauts plan to revive this thousand-year-old monster and use its power to take over the world! They’re collecting the Crystal Stars so they can open the Thousand-Year-Door..they’ll find this demon’s spirit..but the only thing that can keep it locked away is the Crystal Stars themselves! You must not let them get the Crystal Stars! Please, Mario...you must put a stop to their horrible plans!

-Princess Peach-

Mario rubbed at his eyes, scraping away a week’s work of fatigue. 

Shit.

When Peach had first told him the X-Nauts (and what a stupid name that was) were planning on taking over the world, he had laughed it off. Ever since he had landed in the Mushroom Kingdom, every fifth jabroni from the castle to the Darklands had been some kind of aspiring universal tyrant, babbling on and on about taking over realms, how their new regime would be the mightiest, how they should fear me or fear my army or fear my power, all accompanied by cackling laughter suitable for Saturday morning cartoon. The threats were white noise to him now, another meaningless boast in the endless series of hopped-up, dent-headed, peas-for-brains bad guys who popped out of the brickwork like potholes on the Cross Bronx.

It wasn’t that he hadn’t been taking this whole adventure seriously before this. After all, the last time he got sent on a quest to find stars, he ended up facing off against an army of sentient weaponry bent on…well, yeah. World domination.. But those guys had actually meant business, less wanting to rule the world than reforge it, in the most literal sense, in their image. Hell, Geno wouldn’t have been sent down all the way down from Star Heaven or whatever it had been unless Smithy and his crew were the real thing.

But now Peach was kidnapped and demons were involved. And they needed the Crystal Stars to trap the demon, but those same stars would also release the demon in the first place. Mario pulled his cap close to his eyes, sagging against the public notice board in Rogueport Square, the rotten wood protesting under his added weight. Across the plaza, the gallows swayed in tandem with an oncoming breeze, the smell of spoiled fish and brine wafting over and mixing with the lingering odor of cheap booze and sweat that was the hallmark of Rogueport’s business center. 

Delightful.

Vivian had remarked, once they resurfaced from that whole mess in Twilight Town, that the port city had a certain grimy charm to it. Mario huffed, kicking away a crumpled can of Banditbar Ale. Yeah, this place had charm, all right. All the charm of a Staten Island landfill. 

“Why yes, Vivian, I spent close to twenty years as the premiere actress with the Mushroom Repertory Theater, although back when we first started, it was known only as “The Toad Troupe.” Flurrie laughed in her distinctive trill, her voice resonating from what Mario placed as the archway leading to the west side of Rogueport. “A silly name, but our founder was devoid of that creative spark that captures the imagination and whisks the audience away on a journey with you. Of course, he was a rather talented fundraiser.”

Mario grunted, sliding around to the backside of the noticeboard, which was covered in layers of colorful graffiti and three decades worth of dirt. One bright, recent message spelled out a rather graphic enthusiasm for certain body parts, ones Mario wasn’t even certain Goombas had. Not that he was about to ask. Half the population here would shank him for even thinking of the question. Goombella would drop a book on his head.

He slumped at the thought of the petite, boisterous grad student. Goombella, Flurrie, Koops - even Yoshnar. Not one of them had questioned it, had shown any suspicion that the Mario they were celebrating with, were feasting with in Twilight Town was not, in fact, their supposed friend. Sure, they commented here and there that Mario was acting a little strange, was a bit more bombastic than normal, but no one stood up and announced, that’s not our guy!

Granted, he had only known these people for a week. Not nearly enough time to get the measure of a person in the real world, but that had never hindered his traveling companions before. Geno and Mallow seemed to think the world of him.

Mario curled his fist. He should have interrogated Doopliss when he had the chance, should have pulled the truth right out from under his smug-faced bedsheets. Was it a mimicry of only the body, or did Doopliss’s magic also copy the whole of a man, as well?

And why did his friends believe that egotistical, grandstanding fraud had been him?

“Where is Mario?” Flurrie asked, her voice closer now than it had been a minute ago. She had a habit of elongating her vowels to the point of absurdity, so Mario became Mahrio, emphasis on the ah. He had given up trying to correct her after the first hour of their acquaintance. Some things weren’t worth the fight.

Mario snuck a careful look around the edge of the noticeboard, biting his lip as a mess of dirty splinters poked through his skin. His traveling companions were gathered near the entrance to the Toad Bros Bazaar, Koops worrying at his hands as he fretted about Mario being kidnapped, or worse, continuing to Keelhaul Key without them. 

“Don’t worry, Koops,” Vivian soothed. “I’m sure he’s just gathering information or reading an electronic message from Peach.”

Goombella looked up from her notebook with a small frown. “I hope it’s not important intel. I need to write that data down so I can report back to Professor Frankly.”

“I can’t go back to Petalburg without…” The voices faded out of earshot, the door to the shop closing with a brash jingle. 

Mario unclenched his teeth, letting out an unsteady breath. He’d have to come back with them at some point. Maybe Doopliss saw something in him he hadn’t wanted to acknowledge, but Mario knew he’d be in way over his head if tried to take on the X-Nauts and this demon alone. Do like you always do, Mario. Suck it up, put on a smile, and say as little as possible. It had gotten him this far, whatever that counted for. Now, as for this Flavio -

“Hey, bro!” 

A hand clapped itself on his shoulder. Enemy, his mind blared, Mario grabbing at the interloper’s wrist, spinning the man around until he slammed into the announcement board with a pained “Oof!” Not one to let an advantage go to waste, Mario lunged forward, pushing his forearm into the man’s chest, close enough to his attacker’s trachea to leave no question as to the unspoken threat.

“Mario, what the hell?” A familiar voice squeaked. 

Anxiety spiked in Mario’s gut. Luigi? What in the world was his brother doing in -

Mario closed his eyes, letting out a soft hiss between his teeth as the realization hit. Damnit. The Waffle Kingdom. Princess Cannoli or whatever her name was. Mario released his hold on his brother, pinching the bridge of his nose as he took a step back. I don’t have time for this. Luigi shouldn’t have been in Rogueport at all, somehow making his way to the crime-infested city in the days after Mario had received the letter from Peach asking him to come investigate a treasure map.  

And look where that got her. Kidnapped by aliens with crappy names. He knew Luigi could handle himself, or at least, he could in Brooklyn. Coming to the Mushroom Kingdom had done a number on his brother’s confidence, however, and whatever predilection for gangly awkwardness Luigi had had before had grown since they vanished from New York. 

He didn’t have time to protect his brother and save Peach and save the world from a demon. 

“Bro?” Luigi reached a tentative hand towards Mario’s shoulder. 

It didn’t add up, this whole Waffle Kingdom business. Not that he didn’t believe in Luigi, but nothing over the past year had convinced him his brother was ready to set out on his own, the whole incident with the Boos aside. Now he was on a quest which, on the surface, sounded far too close to Mario’s own exploits in trying to gather the seven crystal stars. He knew his brother could be insecure, but this was really…

Mario’s eyes went wide as he slapped away his brother’s hand, planting his feet into a defensive stance, fists raised. 

It was Doopliss. It had to be. Had the identity-pilfering ghost been following him from the beginning? Or were those Shadow Sirens working for him, feeding him enough tidbits about Luigi to make a convincing copy? That would account for his brother’s strange tales, the majority he didn’t have the stamina to focus through, there being too much on his mind with all the plans and kidnappings and cursed chests.

“I beat you before, you son of a bitch, and I’ll do it again,” Mario growled, pushing his sleeves up his arms. “Give him back.” He needed to get this over with now, get his brother in his own body as soon as possible so Mario could track down the last stars. Damnit, why did Luigi have to wander off like this?

“Woah!” Luigi held both his palms up at shoulder height, scrambling backwards, knocking over a trio of half-filled bottles with a bright clang as he came up against the graffiti-covered noticeboard. A pungent yellow stream seeped from one of the fallen bottles, trickling into the eroded mortar between uneven cobblestones. 

“No one’s going to hurt you, Mario. There’s - “ Luigi grabbed a tuft of hair peeking out from under his cap. “There’s no one here but me. Well, me and Torque. And the rest of Rogueport.” Luigi gave an awkward laugh. “And, you know, Torque’s not here here, he’s inside the bar. But you get what I mean.” He gave his brother an uncertain smile, holding two thumbs-up in front of his chest. 

“Where have you been? What were you doing before this?” Mario demanded, voice rising.

The miserable droop in his brother’s shoulders was unmistakable. “I…told you already? The volcano, the sacrifice? Blooey and Jerry and the bridal dress? I mean, I know it’s not as important as what you’re doing…” Luigi trailed off, finding sudden interest in the variety of grisly stains tattooed on the ground, tracing a disturbingly crimson outline with his foot.

Mario grit his teeth. That was something Luigi would say, right down to the shaky little inflections. Was his brother always this insecure? Had he been ignoring something deeper going on with Luigi for the past year? Something unpleasant curdled in Mario’s gut. He hadn’t wanted to face the fact that Doopliss mirrored his identity, warts and all. Was this the Luigi his brother saw in his reflection every day? Did Luigi even know how sad this looked?

Maybe it was Doopliss. Then again, from what little he remembered from his brother’s stories about his supposed Waffle Kingdom exploits, his own traveling companions were less than impressed with Luigi’s tactics, which seemed to be the literal definition of stumbling into good luck. 

As much as he hated to think it, Doopliss probably had better things to do than wreak havoc on a quest that may or may not have its basis in reality. It was true Luigi had made an astonishing number of enemies in a short period, but Princess Eclair seemed like something straight out of one of those adventure books they had liked so much as kids. He wasn’t thrilled at the idea of his brother hanging around Rogueport, but as long as all this Waffle Kingdom stuff was harmless - well, it would at least keep Luigi out of the underlevels and far, far away from the Thousand Year Door and whatever evil lay behind it.

The communication square in his back pocket vibrated. It was probably Goombella demanding to know where the hell he was. Mario brought his arms to his side, stretching out his fingers. He needed to focus. Whatever happened with Doopliss was in the past and he could waste away his time navel-gazing once this entire ordeal was over. 

Letting out a shuddering breath, Mario stepped forward, placing a firm hand on Luigi’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, Luigi. It’s - “ Mario pursed his lips, weighing his words. “A lot has happened in the last few days.”

Luigi let out a watery chuckle, running his sleeve under his nose. “Don’t worry about it,” he shrugged, gaze still fixed to the ground. 

Great, like your brother needed another kick to the ego. Way to go, asshole. Mario dug his fingers into Luigi’s shoulder. Maybe Doopliss’s replication of him hadn’t been that far off the mark, after all. 

“Hey, Lou,” he gave his brother a gentle shake. “Why don’t you introduce me to your new friend? Squort or Morque, was it?”

“Torque,” his brother mumbled.

“Torque! Great! Let’s go meet him!” Mario said too brightly, taking his brother by the arm, all but dragging him towards Podley’s bar. 

“Come on, Mario, you don’t have to - “ Luigi huffed, trying to pull himself out of his brother’s octopus-like grip. “I know you don’t want to - “

Mario shoved the door to the bar open, wrangling Luigi inside, depositing his brother next to a Spike Top with a wrench on his head. The little creature made a series of rapid clicks with its mouth, somehow conveying annoyance without uttering a single intelligible word or facial expression. The Spike Top glowered at his brother, if the dead, beady-eyed stare could be called that, before turning around with an exaggerated shuffle.

Six to one, that’s Torque, Mario mused, feeling a momentary pang of sympathy for his brother. Oh Luigi, we have to talk about this one of these days. But that was for later. After the crystal stars, after Peach was safe, after the world was saved. Right now, he needed a minute to collect himself, to form a plan to find Flavio and get to Keelhaul Key, and an excuse to give his companions for his sudden absence.

“Hey Lou, is that your friend?” Mario gestured at the little Spike Top. He didn’t wait for an answer before continuing, “How about you tell me that story?”

Luigi eyed Torque warily, the Spike Top making a slight turn so its face was again visible. Luigi gave a sheepish wave in his direction, Torque responding with a loud click of its jaw and a series of buzzes that reminded Mario of a horde of angry cicadas. 

“Heh, he’s excited to hear it again, too,” Mario pressed on, willing himself to be oblivious to the mounting tension between the odd pair. 

“Well,” Luigi rubbed at the back of his neck, avoiding looking anywhere near Torque. “If you’re sure…”

“Surer than sure!” Mario exclaimed with fake enthusiasm, throwing his hands up like he was tossing two baseballs into the air. 

His brother gave a small smile, slipping his thumbs behind the straps of his overalls as he uncurled his defensive hunch, voice dropping into a more comfortable storytelling baritone. “Okay, then. It all started like this. Just as our boat arrived on Circuit Island…”

Mario let his brother’s tale wash over him, making appropriate sounds of acknowledgement when necessary. He knew this lapse would come back to bite him in the ass later, but he’d rather have a world he could fight with his brother in than no world at all. He took in a long breath through his nose, holding it at the top for five seconds before releasing it in the opposite manner, careful to not make it sound as if he were sighing in annoyance at his brother’s narrative.

Finding Flavio was his first task. And messaging Goombella, although he was tempted to put the inevitable tongue-lashing off for another few minutes. Flavio first, he decided. The name was familiar, and sworn he had heard it bandied about when he first arrived in Rogueport, barreling through every shop and back-alley headquarters he could find in a blind panic. He knew he needed to find someone who worked on a ship, some sea-faring type, although in this town, that could be anybody from a pirate to a fortune teller to a criminal on the lam. 

It wasn’t like he could just walk around asking if anyone had seen a man with a peg-leg and eyepatch. For as quirky as the Mushroom Kingdom could be, it rarely conformed to his Earth-bound stereotypes. 

“The Skuuuuul Captaaaaaaaaain!” a boisterous voice warbled from a corner table. Mario made a perfunctory nod at his brother - yes, I’m listening - scanning each of the bar patrons until he landed on a short, well-dressed man teetering on the back two legs of his chair. 

“Festiiiivaaaaal!” he bellowed in discordant tones, hugging a bright red gemstone in the shape of a skull with one atm, raising a half-full mug of Chuckola with the other.

Then again, maybe he didn’t need to go around asking about pirates, seeing as one landed in his proverbial lap. The knots in Mario’s stomach unraveled, each freed line replaced by a bit of fluttering optimism he hadn’t felt since his victories in the Glitzville Pit. 

Doopliss was out of the picture. His companions were back and his brother, if not exactly happy, was at least distracted and, more importantly, safe. The man with the fluffy white cravat and maroon jacket caressed the cheekbones of the skull gemstone, singing another loud nonsense verse into its ear. 

Mario let himself smile. He was going to come out on top of this, hell and high water.

[starshipsofstarlord]

Mummy Quinn - Harley Quinn x reader

Masterlist Link

Summary; whilst coming home from shopping, Harley returns with more than just food...

Warnings; kidnapping, Harley having (severe) baby fever, mention of death and murder, mentions of insanity and mental health, mentions of parental abuse, mentions of alcoholism, swearing, homelessness mention

divider by @firefly-graphics

“It’s okay Bruce, mummy will be home soon, she just went out to get us some jerked. Now this time, you’re not eating the whole bag, okay? I need to eat too, otherwise I will die, and well, I don’t want to end up like the rest of my family, okay? Good, I’m glad we’re on the same page buddy, if we weren’t then we’d have a problem.” You spoke the the giggling hyena, ruffling his ears, as the sound of the door opening made the animal lurch his head forward in hilarity, and you turn.

You expected various bags of junk food, but instead there was one small carrier containing such things, Harley also held a container of diapers and a baby, that was clinging onto her shoulder, as she multitasked with all the cargo that she was delivering to your shared flat. A furrow enclosed on your brow, as you focused on the child that she had brought home, it was practically tethered to her, grasping onto her extravagant clothing as though it never wanted to let your girlfriend go.

“Is that a baby?” You asked her, surprised by her tentativeness to it as she placed all else down, and bounced the oblivious infant in her arms. If it were able to comprehend its situation, it would surely be screaming that it was in a nut job’s arms (though you weren’t that much more sane than her), wailing out to be rescued from the mad woman’s hands.

Half the time, you didn’t think about Harley’s mental health, being around her was normal. But right now, you were worrying for it; you wondered why she had a baby, of all things! It’d make more sense if she returned home with a giraffe than a small human, even a dead body would be more comforting than the fact that she had an actual child in her arms.

“Obviously silly.” Harley replied, shrugging the puffs of her shirt up to the sides of her head as a toothy and stretched smile found port on her face. “I’m gonna call him Bruno, he looks like one, doesn’t he? Such a cute baby, aren’t you Bruno, and since we can’t have one of our own, neither can we go through the method of adopting because our reputations proceed us, we have this little guy.”

“Where’d you find him Harl?” You cooed, walking closer as Bruno, as she had claimed to dub him, reached his hand out towards you, his nimble and small fingers hardly managing to wrap around one of your own. It was true, being a criminal sucked. You weren’t able to adopt because laws and blah blah blah. So that was a great blockade in the way of ever having children with the woman that you loved.

“At the grocery store.” She answered, making you snap your eyes up to her, shocked by the revelation behind her words. “What? Don’t look at me like that, if you’d have seen him, you’d have taken him too. The parents weren’t even paying attention to him, instead they were buying vast bottles of whiskey. I know that life, and I lived it!”

“They’re his parents baby.” You tried to reason with her as she ruggedly shook her messy hair in vain, panicking. “You turned out fine, he’ll do the same, in his own way.” She bellowed a laugh out of you, as tears swamped her icy eyes, her nostrils flaring passively as she tried to keep it and herself all together.

“I’m fine. I’m fine?! Really sweets, we sure as hell know I’m anything but fine! Look at me, really look at me y/n, would you say I’m sane? Would you say that I have my head on straight? Exactly, my childhood bore into half of this, my alcoholic father constantly putting pressure on me to be the image of perfection and intellect, but that didn’t last. I was foolish, until I met J, because every one in my life were constantly trying to protect me, except him.”

“Harley.” You sighed, raking your hand through your hair as you watched how she protectively hugged the child to her chest. “People fuck kids up, yes, they do it all the fucking time, but this one isn’t ours to fuck up. He has parents, they brought him into this world, and it’s their responsibility to raise him.”

“Well, we could kill them.” She offered, as her face crinkled in disregard of what you were trying to say. “He could be ours, our baby. We’d give him a good life, he’d have everything he could ever want.”

“And it’d all be stolen except sandwiches from Sal’s.” You stated, huffing as you hated demeaning her wishes like this, but it was necessary. “You have to give him back Harley, he is not ours to keep.”

“But I bought him diapers and one of those rattly thingies.” She pouted, the red on her lips extenuating her expression. The majority of the time you crumbled when she did that, but you couldn’t, not now. The tone was too serious, and whilst you weren’t one hundred percent alike to those who were ‘sane’, it was clear that this wrong, and you didn’t want her to end up in Arkham again.

“Doesn’t matter, you stole them anyway, same as you did with him. Now suck it up, because we will not be keeping him, and you’re making Brucey feel unloved. He is our child, if you want, we can get another pet.” Bruce grunted in satisfaction of his presence being adjourned and noticed, swiping his tongue up the palm of your hand as an act of affection.

“Really?” She squealed, going to clap her hands together, but realising that she had the child in her arms. “Fine, I suppose you’re right.” Her head dropped as she turned towards the door, grabbing the bag of diapers and going to disappear out the entrance. You spoke her name, causing her to freeze.

“I love you, and I’m proud of you honey.” You told her, causing her to nod in relevance, and once she exited out the door, you heard crying, but it was not coming out from the infant. With a sigh, the background noise of them descending down the building rattling in your brain, you grasped your phone. “Can’t believe I’m doing this.” You grumbled, pressing your hand against your hip as you dialled a number on your phone.

“Hello, who is this?” The voice of a woman spoke through the phone, the caller ID clearly not being a concern of the person who had answered.

“Selena, it’s me y/n.” She greeted you in turn, as you waited for her to finish speaking. “So you’re street smart and all, do you think you can get me a rat off the streets? No, not an actual rat, a kid, sorry for my description, don’t claw my eyes out, of a night I see some pretty interesting things... anyways, I want to adopt and being a criminal and shit, that’s rather difficult...” Harley was going to love you, that was until she heard you change your mind on the pet ordeal.

A while later the door opened again, a snicker rolled around the room, but it was not from behind you in the tub, where Bruce was seated. No, Harley walked in with a white leash, and a hyena, of course. “This is Alfred, you said I could get a pet, so I got one.” Great, a new pet and now a kid, the one bedroom apartment was sure going to be crowded.

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt 126

126

Lance knew he’d taken a turn for the worst as he shuddered on the cold stone floor. He’d thrown up so much that he knew he was definitely dehydrated and on the wrong side of hunger. His body felt lighter. Too light. And something in the darkness felt physically heavy to the point of suffocation. Groaning to himself, his eyes went wide as it came out as a squeak. His body moving as he found himself not as he should be. Tiny little legs and flapping wings were tangled in his shirt. He’d turned into a bat again... He’d let everyone down. He knew he’d been exhausted. He knew he’d had a fever. He knew Shiro was worried after their talk... and now he was showing how useless he was as he wasn’t even able to maintain his human form from how weak he felt.

Untangling himself from his shirt, a new realisation hit him as he surveyed how tiny he was compared to the space he was in. He was tiny. A quick check down showed he a chubby little belly... Right. This couldn’t be good for the twins. This shouldn’t even be possible unless... unless something had happened to them! He was starving. Their tiny masses of cells were foreign bodies... with foreign DNA in his system. Flapping his wings, he squeaked loudly. Spinning himself in a circle due to his lack of coordination. Why wasn’t anyone helping him? Was he losing Keith’s twins? He needed to switch back. Blinking at the darkness, he found himself alone in the cell. No Shiro. No Matt. No Curtis or Sam. Alone... They’d left him behind? When did they have the chance!? He didn’t want to be left behind! He wanted to go home to Keith and cuddle! He didn’t want to lose the twins! He didn’t! He’d been so careful. So careful that this wasn’t fair! He wanted his Mami and his boyfriend and cuddles... not... not Keith hating him for how weak he was!

*

Shooting up from his nightmare, Lance groaned as his body protested the sudden sitting upness. Thank fuck. Thank fuck he wasn’t a bat

“Lance?”

Taking a moment, Lance realised he was sitting with his back to Curtis now...

“Wha...”

“You fell asleep, so I moved you so your head was resting on my leg. You seemed to be having a nightmare”

Ugh. That was one way to put it. Stupid vivid dreams that had to stick in his head

“Yeah... it was... fucking awful. Don’t let me turn into a bat”

“That bad? Here, lay back. You feel slightly feverish”

“I thought I was... never mind... How long was I asleep?”

Even dreaming about losing the twins had shaken him up too much. Saying out loud would panic Shiro... Curtis was probably worrying too... He didn’t want to sink back against him, but Curtis needed the comfort

“A couple of hours. You haven’t missed anything happening other than Matt farting in his sleep”

“I’m glad I missed that. I swear there’s something dead in his intestinal tract”

“It was rather pungent. Much like being at home”

From their breathing Shiro, Matt, and Sam were sleeping. Curtis must be on guard shift. That was good. He preferred not seeming stupid in front of Sam, and not upsetting Matt

“I know this probably a silly thing to ask, but how are you doing?”

Settling himself to sit next to Curtis, Lance covered what he could of them with shiro’s jacket

“I’m not happy to be here”

“Yeah. Their hospitality sucks. I won’t be recommending this place to all my friends”

“I’m ashamed more than anything. They used a gas canister to take us out. Shiro tried to get us to the car, after Rieva was hit. He called Coran straight away, while I did nothing”

“Hey. You don’t need to be ashamed. At least you didn’t get kidnapped in front of VOLTRON”

“Yes. Well. I had hoped you’d be safe. Evidently not”

“I did try to make a recording... I opened up the app so I could record whatever Shiro said when you guys turned up... you know, as evidence or whatever. I don’t even know what happened to my phone”

“I’m sure Pidge would find it”

“Unless they’ve got it and turned it off. They could have even disposed of it on the way to throw the others off”

Being stuck here was thoroughly depressing. What a stupid notion. A vampire who didn’t want to lurk in the dark damps of an underground basement

“We can only hope the others work things out. You had some interesting ideas”

“My ideas only upset Matt. I know he’s worried about Rieva and can’t control himself right now, but like... I thought if we could combine forces we could bust out”

“The only problem with that is what’s waiting on the other side of those bars”

“Yeah, Shiro said that too. I’m worried about you guys, but I’m more worried about what this is doing to Keith... I feel like a bad friend”

“Keith is your soulmate. You have been through a lot together”

“And just when we think we’ve go a break, this goes and happens... I’m sorry. That nightmare fucked me right up”

“Want to tell me?”

“I was a bat. But like, I was panicking because I was a bat and I thought I was losing the twins... if I was a bat, I could get through the bars, then disable the power”

“We both know you’re not that coordinated”

Lance lightly jabbed Curtis in the side with his elbow

“I’ve had my moments of extreme coordination. Plus, I’m more coordinated without my glasses on”

“Barely. You’ll need blood soon”

“Don’t remind me. I never want to eat again as it is. It’s tiresome throwing up”

“The smell isn’t too pleasant”

“There’s that too. I almost miss the bag from over my head”

“I could get it...”

“Nope. I said almost. Do you really think they’ll leave us down here until I starve and vampire out?”

“I don’t think so. You’re a prime specimen. Having you out of control does them no favours”

“Unless they want to see how far they can push a breeder before having to feed them”

“Let’s not think about that. How are you feeling? Have your teeth grown back?”

“Yeah. My fangs grow back in pretty fast, not that the rest of them don’t”

“If you get hungry, let me or Shiro know... I don’t know what my blood will be like, but Shiro’s should be okay as he’s human”

He didn’t want to feed from Shiro. Nor did he want to feed from Sam. He didn’t know if feeding off Curtis was a smart idea, and Matt was out the question. Even when Keith force fed him, he didn’t want an audience to what he was... and with Keith, it was only because Keith was his boyfriend. It kind of felt like cheating if he fed off anyone else. Curtis didn’t want to hear that

“I’ll think about it. You should get some sleep. I doubt they’ll come for us anytime soon”

“I slept enough. It’s you who should be resting. We need you with as much energy as possible for whatever comes”

“If something does happen, promise you’ll get Sam and Shiro out. Matt... he’s a wolf, and I’m a vampire... but them... I can’t ask Shiro”

“We’ll all get out of this. You’ll see. We’re not leaving you behind”

*

“Keith! You’ve got to come now!”

Bursting into the briefing room, Allura startled Keith out of his self loathing flunk that not even the countless amount of coffee was helping. 24 hours with nothing. Rieva couldn’t help. They’d been gassed, all she really remembered was Shiro yelling and being shot, and had some very choice words to say about it all. It took everything had not to start screaming at her for the answers she didn’t have. Raising his aching head, Keith stared at Allura. She was too damn perky...

“What?”

“Shiro is back”

Pushing his chair back to fast it fell backwards, Keith was on his feet, a little too fast as he head throbbed. Everyone trying to talk at once

“Is dad...?”

“What about Lance?”

“Is Matt there? And Curtis?”

Allura shook her head

“Shiro, Sam, and Matt. They were left outside the bookshop unconscious”

What the hell? Where was Lance? Why was Lance not with Shiro? What the fuck did this mean? He’d felt so... he didn’t actually know the word for the relief at hearing Shiro was back, but now he felt weak at the knees seeing Lance wasn’t...

Allura turned from the room, all of them following after her, Keith the first. Shiro was back and it was finally time to find out what was going on.

Led down to VOLTRON’s infirmary, Coran had the three unconscious men laid out. Nursing staff busy around him

“Shiro!”

Going to rush to his brother’s side, Coran intercepted him

“I’m sorry, Keith. I need you to wait outside with the others”

“That’s my brother!”

“And at the moment we’re collecting their clothes and analysing what’s in their system. I know you want to be here, but we need space to work”

Shiro was right there. Right in front of him... now he was being sent away...

“Keith... It’s not like we don’t want to see Sam and Matt. Coran, thank you. We’ll wait outside”

Colleen agreeing with Coran meant Keith had no choice but to head outside with the others. She’d worked as hard as everyone else to understand what was happening, even with no leads to go on. Lotor had left, taking his generals. Allura doubting if she’d made the right call seeing he’d actually gone. With so many people in the room, Keith had found himself withdrawing more and more. He didn’t feel he had anything valuable to add. He’d watched everything at least a dozen times, only no magical leads had materialise and he’d burnt the image of Lance collapsing into his brain. Krolia had been a bigger help than he knew what to do with. She’d gone and picked up Kosmo, and now remained personally stationed with Rieva on the off chance something was to happen. If he wasn’t so hung up on Shiro finally returning, he might have thought to go tell Rieva that her boyfriend was back... Instead Pidge thought of that, her, Hunk, and Allura leaving him with Colleen to go let Rieva know.

Leaning against the wall for support, Keith kept his arms crossed and his head down as he waited for Coran to let him see Shiro. Curtis wasn’t with the others, Keith didn’t want to think the worst of his brother’s boyfriend, yet the fact he wasn’t with the others led to that little voice inside his head wondering if Curtis was the traitor. The guys who took Lance had said that Curtis confirmed the pregnant. He didn’t think Curtis had it in him to lie them, yet if they’d offered him a cure for his curse... He didn’t want to think that way, but why hadn’t he been returned with the others? Was it because he’d fused with a demon? He was the only person Keith had ever heard of to be cursed. If Curtis wasn’t the traitor then... then he and Lance could both be being tortured right now... Shiro could have been tortured. Just because he didn’t see obvious bruising didn’t mean there wasn’t any.

It’d pushed half an hour before Coran came out, the others assuming similar positions to his, only Pidge had her arms wrapped around her mother. Krolia hadn’t left her post. Kolivan had come up empty at the scene, but that didn’t mean he hadn’t spent most of the night scouring the area for clues. James and the wolf pack had nothing. Shiro had to be okay, or Keith might just lose it.

Letting himself relax, Coran smiled at the group of them

“You may go in now. They’ll be asleep for a few hours, but I know you’re desperate to see them. I’ll take the evidence we’ve collected for processing. Hopefully we’ll gain some clues as to where they’ve been held and if Lance was held with them. Before you panic, we’ve restrained Matt purely as a cautionary measure. He may... uh, as you would say, “wolf out”. Hit the red button on the wall when he wakes. I expect he won’t be under as long as Sam and Shiro”

Hunk wiped his hands on his shirt, marks left from the sweat. Almost timidly he asked Coran

“And... they’re okay? They...”

“They’ve been sedated. I would say gas was used as there is no sign of puncture marks. I’ll know more when I’ve examined their blood work. The three of them were dehydrated, I’ve set up IV fluids. I failed to find signs of bite marks, both Shiro and Sam are still human from the feeling of their quintessence and body temperature. Though, had they been changed the change would be obvious. For three men held by vampires, they’ve been exceptionally well looked after considering Matt is a werewolf and Shiro’s identity as a hunter. Right. Well, head on in. I’ll be expecting all of you to get some rest. This has been a very tiring 24 hours and until we learn more, you’re best of resting and recovering your strength”

Keith noticed the way Coran said nothing about Lance. No reassurances that because their three friends had been returned mostly safely that Lance would be found with the evidence on them or that they could expect him to be returned in the same condition. Heading into the room, he found himself stumbling the last few steps to Shiro’s side, grasping his bothers hand as he shook. Shiro was warm. He was warm and alive. He hadn’t expected him to be so warm when his brother was normally such a loud sleeper. Letting himself all but collapse against his brother, he laid his head on Shiro’s chest, listening to the strong sound of his beating heart. He’d come back to him. He’d come back to him when Keith feared he’d never see him again. But how was he back? Had even been taken by the same people who took Lance? Why would they return a hunter? What had they done to him? Was this sleep really drug induced? Or had there been some kind of incident where they’d tried escaping and Shiro had been hurt? He felt terrible for not caring for Matt and Sam as much as he did his brother. He did care about them. He did. He swore he did. He just... felt abandoned all over again. Like Shiro would never be home, or he’d come back but be like Adam. Half crazed and begging for his death.

Coming up behind Keith, Hunk wrapped an arm around his shoulder

“He’s going to be okay, man”

What did normal well adjust social people say to that?

“Thanks”

That didn’t sound quite right. Hunk sniffled

“I’m so glad they’re back”

The angry over caffeinated region of his brain wanted to slap Hunk away and yell at him because Lance wasn’t with them. The more tired part of him making impossible to get those words out

“Yeah”

It didn’t sound enthused. He should be more enthused. He was just too emotionally and physically drained

“You should get some rest. We’re going to stay until they all wake up, and no offence, man, but you look dead on your feet”

“I’m fine... I’m not leaving Shiro”

“Then at least take a nap next to him... or I can go find a chair?”

“Won’t that be weird?”

“Nah, man. He’s your brother. I’d be climbing into my brother’s bed too if he’d just come home from being kidnapped”

He wouldn’t sleep. He’d nap. Or better yet, he’d doze. That way he’d be semi awake when Matt woke up, seeing he really was the most likely to wake first.

[maddieson-san]

Secret Santa Kogkag

@megara09 I am so sorry this is late! I have been dying, in quarantine in my bed over the worst cold I’ve ever had and my son’s gastro (which are all fun things to have pregnant). ANYWHO. I am so sorry. I have tried to combine pack hanging out with them meeting in the present. I struggle with not turning into a long fic with multi chapters. So, I tried to do a nice open but wrapped up ending? AAAAH! I hope you like it T.T

Lost, really?

Then again, did she ever excel at finding her way in the forest before? Even back then, the only reason she didn’t get lost was because she had her friends with her. Therefor, it was no surprise that a little wood gathering mission had turned into this. She had told herself to not stray too far from the camp but apparently she had managed to take a few wrong turns. Ayumi, Eri and Yuka would hopefully start looking for her soon and they would not get lost like she had… Clearly they would not suggest camping again for their next annual trip. It was something they had started since high school ended and Kagome’s health ‘got better’. Once the well permanently closed, leaving her stuck in her own era, she had been forced to resume her old life, finding back her old routine. It took some time, melancholy taking hold of her from time to time but as the years went by, she learned to cherish the memories of the past while moving on with her new life.

Although, being stuck in the woods? It was bringing back some memories.

“Ayumi?” she tried.

Perhaps it was all her years in the feudal era, but part of her was scared of screaming too loud… what if it attracted undesired attention? No, she was being silly; there were no youkais here. Worst case… wolves? No, the girls wouldn’t rent a lot in a wolf infested area right? This was the modern era, and although this time had its own demons and whatnot, youkais popping out of nowhere was not one of them.

And then there was a growl.

Kagome felt her blood freeze as her breathing stilled. It was behind her - how far, she couldn’t tell… What was it she was supposed to do? Run? Not move? Play dead? One of those was in case of a bear attack, she was almost sure of it. Fuck. Okay - okay. It was okay because - because she could do this. She closed her eyes, foolishly attempting to give herself some courage. She took a deep breath, filling her lungs to the maximum capacity, and then exhaled loudly. Her teeth were clattering together as she turned around, slowly facing the beast that stood behind her. His long black fur was morphing into the darkness of the night, leaving nothing but his blue eyes shining into the night like two tiny stars. It was far enough from her, but not far enough for her to escape with enough distance. Now that she had made the first move, she expected it to launch itself at her but… But it wasn’t attacking her; it was just staring at her.  Her arms were stretched out in front of her, not that it would protect her much, and she stared into the wolves' blue eyes. It was piercing through her soul, forcing her to forget how to breathe. The last wolves she had met used to eat humans. But that was probably because they were youkais, right? He didn’t want to shred her to pieces… Hopefully.

“Any chance you wanna kidnap me and use me as a shard detector?” She joked, her bottom lip trembling.

As soon as the words left her lips, she saw the wolf stiffen, his eyes hardening, while his massive body stilled completely. Not a fan of bad jokes, noted. Damn it. Her heart was racing, her lips were dry as her brain scrambled for the next course of action. How would she prove she was no threat? It wasn’t like she could zap it and run…no one was going to come with a sword and save her from this. Maybe she did miss the good old days. She lifted her heel from the ground, undecided if she should slowly back way or make a run for it, when the wolf made a call. He stepped forward, determined. Kagome swallowed hard, the sound of her heart deafening her.

“I’m not here to hurt you,” she managed to stutter. Yes, Kagome… because wolves speak human. He probably would think she was threatening him some more.

Her fear forced her to take a step back, her heart rising into her throat while her stomach squeezed tightly. Unfortunately for her, her assessing of her surrounding was poor at best; it only required a few back steps before her back slammed into a tree trunk.  She was trapped between a tree and a wolf. What if she threw herself side ways? Lunged herself forward? Maybe such a drastic action would throw it off and it would give her the distraction she needed to run away. Although, was she willing to take such a big risk? Realistically, she knew she could not outrun a wolf; she didn’t even know where she was going, where her camp was. And then what? She would have led it to her friends. No, it was a bad idea. She could feel her powers rising in her fingertips, and she wondered if maybe just maybe it might do a little something.

Meanwhile the wolf kept closing the distance, the black fur of his large paws being swallowed by the muddy ground beneath them. He was going to get her and he was going to rip her to pieces until she was dismembered, nothing more than pile in a lost corner of the forest. She pushed her hands further in front of her, her eyes begging for her to close them to shield her own brain from the nightmare to come. Did she really want a preview of the teeth that were going to sink into her flesh? As she felt it close, its warm breath warming the air still separating them, she gave into her cowardliness and shut her eyes, waiting for the pain that was inevitably coming.

“K-Kagome?”

Wait what.

Her bottom lip was trembling by the time she dared to crack one of her eyes open. The image in front of her was initially blur, probably due to the tears that had pooled in her eyes. It -it was man? Her eyes scanned over a long dark ponytail, spilling over a naked, tan chest. Piercing blue eyes were staring at her in disbelief, a cocky smile dancing on lips that felt very familiar. The way he said her name kept echoing in her head until she tipped  slightly forward. It was but it couldn’t possibly be.

“Kouga?”

“It is you,” he almost screamed before launching himself forward.

Before she could blink, his arms were tightly wrapped around her, trapping her in an embrace tight enough to knock the air out of her lungs. It took her a moment, but eventually she returned the gesture and squeezed him back. “B-but how?”

“I should be the one asking ya that.” She could hear his smile when he talked.

It wasn’t until her hands palmed at his naked flesh while she tightened the embrace that she realized…his back wasn’t the only naked part of him. If she continued glancing down over his shoulder, she could clearly see…oh god. “Naked.  You’re naked.”

A eek slipped her lips before she put her palms to his pecs before violently pushing him away from her, closing her eyes to shield them from any more nakedness. Unfortunately for her, his stance was a lot more solid than hers and he remained where he stood like an immovable object while she was the down who went flying backwards once more. Ouch.

“Sorry, I got so excited I forgot,” he said with a smile.

Kagome. His Kagome. In the flesh. He had caught a drift of a scent that flooded his mind with memories of her. He had told himself it was absolutely impossible,  but he had followed the trail nonetheless. And then he had seen her. He had told himself it was a coincidence, a descendant maybe… but then she spoke and he knew. He could hardly believe it but he knew. And she had confirmed it. There were a million questions burning his lips but as he watched her, her cheeks dusty pink from embarrassment and her hand plastered over her eyes to hide his nakedness, he knew it would have to wait. “How about this, give me ‘bout 20 seconds?”

Next thing she knew, she could feel her hair being pushed backwards as a gust of wind overtook the area; she didn’t need to see to know what had just happened. She could not help the hint of a smile that tugged at her lips. It almost felt like old times.

-O-

It took more than 20 seconds, but Kouga eventually returned. He took her hand, much like he had done in the past, and had led her back to his little camping side where she had found out Ginta and Hakkaku had been waiting for them. They did not even try to hide their excitement as they threw their arms around her, dancing and screaming sis in her ear as though she had never left their sides. Obviously, once the joy wore off, they had a lot of questions. And she did her best to answer all of them, starting with pulling down the wall the very first time all the way to her last trip. And they listened with wide eyes and open ears.

“Wow. Time travel.”

“Yep.”

“For a second there, I thought I was going crazy,” Kouga admitted as he scratched the back of his head. “I mean it smelled like you - it had to be you… but it couldn’t be.” Despite the fact that he had given her up, it didn’t mean he didn’t care about her. He had come around looking for her, but Inuyasha had always been vague with his answers. Kouga had even tried to beat it out of him, but it hadn’t worked; the hanyou had stuck to his answer. Kagome was gone… forever. At least now he knew that didn’t mean she was dead. He had never quite forgiven himself all those years. What if she was dead and it was because he had left her in Inuyasha’s care? The fact that she was alive lifted a load off of his chest. His Kagome was alive.

“You? I thought I was gonna die eaten by a wolf.”

He chuckled. “Don’t worry, I’ve kept my words. No more humans… although… lost girls in the woods… I might make an exception,” he said with a wink.

“Funny… for an old man. You must be… really old by now. How is it that you guys even survived this long?”

Kouga palmed at the back of his neck, rubbing the cold skin. “Youkais live pretty long - but most of ‘em die. The change hasn’t been easy. Some couldn’t live like this, others died trying to prevent it… we adapted.”

“Kouga didn’t wanna break his word to you. He didn’t wanna go back to human killing and eating.”

She frowned. “No one could have blamed you for defending yourself.” It wasn’t like she prone violence and killings but, she couldn’t even imagine what all of them had to go through to make it to the modern era. Kouga was a proud man, she knew that much and she highly doubted that was something that had changed, despite the centuries that went by. He had to bury a part of himself to make it into the new world. Although, she was happy to know he had stuck to his peacefulness.

He shrugged. “It wouldn’t have done anything.”

Ginta was about to add that Kouga had lost a bit of his pep when he thought Kagome was dead but one stern look from his alpha was enough for him to know it was best to keep his mouth shut. It was hard to ignore the fire that had sparked back in Kouga’s aura. Ginta and Hakkaku could hardly put together what had happened when Kouga had come back naked in human form. He had been smiling and couldn’t string two words together. When they saw Kagome in the flesh, they understood. They didn’t know how it was possible but - they couldn’t be happier.

“I’m sorry it’s been so hard… I - if I had known I woulda come find you guys.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, of course. Why?”

He shrugged. “I know I had a tendency to annoy you a little back then. I was a pretty stubborn cub.”

She was hopeless to stop the laughter that bubbled out of her. “That’s one way to put it.” She hide her mouth with her hand as her laughter kept erupting. “But, we were friends… we are friends. I’m happy to know you’re all okay. I wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to you guys. Any of you.”

There it was. He knew it. He knew it the second they met up. She wanted to know about everyone else - she wanted to know about Inuyasha. He couldn’t blame her; she loved him and this was quite recent for her. She hadn’t had enough time to get over it. And honestly, he wanted her to know; she deserved to know after everything she had been through in the past. He thought it had been hard to have her gone with no answers. He couldn’t even imagine how she felt after being ripped away from everyone, unable to reach them again. Plus, for him - it all happened a long time ago, right? It was old news.

“I don’t know what happened to the fox. The monk and the slayer are long gone, long before any of this youkai and human shit went down. I think Inuyasha’s brother…is somewhere out there and - well, I mean,” he popped his lips. “Inuyasha was an hanyou so…” he swallowed hard. Fuck, he didn’t want to say it out loud.

His train of thoughts was interrupted when he felt her warm hand on his arm. She tilted her head sideways, her long locks leaning to the side. “He’s gone,” she finished for him. She managed to smile despite the small ping of pain traveling through her heart. It wasn’t like she expected him to be alive. If Inuyasha was still around, he would have found her, he would have come running the day she got stuck in the modern era. But he didn’t, and that told her all she needed to know. It was many years ago that she stopped watching her window, half expecting him to be waiting for her, his grumpy face on. She wasn’t heartbroken, she was a little sad. Of course. But - she had accepted the loss of her friends a long time ago. “Kouga, I didn’t think he was alive.”

“I know…”

“Was he happy?”

“He seemed happy, but ya know that mutt. Too stubborn to say anything.”

She chuckled. “That sounds like Inuyasha.”

He never left the village; he always hung around that well. Kouga didn’t used to understand but now he did; he had been waiting for Kagome to come back. Obviously, he wasn’t going to share that tidbit with her. He didn’t care how many years went by, Kagome was still the same Kagome and he was sure of it. She would blame herself and she would carry that guilt around with her when it was unnecessary. He wanted to spare her the pain. So, he would leave it at that; after all, he wasn’t lying.

“Good. I’m glad he was happy. And I’m glad you guys are safe.” She dragged out a long breath before staring back into the darkness, her hand lingering on his arm.

He felt a warmth spreading through his arm, reaching all the way to his chest. Time to change the topic. “I have to say though…”

“What?”

“I mean that outfit? A school girl outfit?”

“It was practical!”

“How was running around the feudal era in a skirt practical?”

“I had to go back and forth all the time! What was I supposed to do? Show up at school in a miko outfit? Be Kikyo’s clone?

He shook his head. “That wouldn’t have been you.” He didn’t think he would have spotted her if she had blended in. Granted at first he had only been interested in her jewel shard detecting skills.

“There you go. It was a practical, rational decision.”

“I don’t think that’s how that works.”

“I don’t see you coming up with a better argument.”

“Good point.” He laughed. “Please don’t slap me again.”

She shook her head softly, the laughter dying on her lips. She now knew how unconventional it might have looked, but - her argument still stood. It was practical. Plus, she hadn’t wanted to wear the same thing as Kikyo. It had been a sore topic back then.

“So wait, do you guys just camp now?”

“We’re waiting on escapee cubs,” Hakkaku provided. “The little ones, they don’t always understand that they can’t just shift like they want. They run around - and well, some of them went into the woods. If we just go after them, we might end up with naked children in the forest and no one wants to explain that. It’s a little easier to let people think they are wolves around here.”

“And they’re gonna be safe out there, all on their own?”

“They might be cubs, but they are youkais. They’ll be fine, they’re used to this.”

“Wait cubs…”

He stretched out his hands in front of him. “Not mine. I mean, we’re not the pack we used to be, but there are a few of us.”

“We’re not all wolves though.”

“Any dogs?” she asked with a sly smile.

“Fuck no,” he replied without skipping a beat.

“There’s the Kouga I know.”

“Hey, I’m the same guy.”

“I don’t know, you haven’t called me your woman yet. I’m not sure how to deal with this.”

“Hey now, if you want me to make ya my woman for real this time, It’ll be my pleasure.”

His words came so honestly, so rapidly that she found herself blushing. How could he still say things like this with such ease? He reminded her of the same old Kouga who had shouted his love from the top of a mountain. “I’ll pass on being whisk away through the mountains and brought to a den of man eating wolves.”

“It wasn’t all that bad,” he said with a wink. “You got to slap me.”

“You deserved it.”

“Fair enough.”

“You’d like our new pack,” Ginta pitched in. “We got a nice little house off the side of the forest. It lets you kinda change when we went.”

“Yeah, you should totally come and hang out.”

Hang out…”Oh shoot…!” Her eyes widened as she hopped to her feet, panic shining in her blue orbs. “My friends! They must be worried sick about me!” She had been so wrapped up in seeing Kouga and his pack again that she had completely forgotten about them. “I- I have to go back.” She popped her lips. “Although I don’t even know the way back…”

“I’ll escort you back. I can smell your friends all the way here.”

“Are you sure-“

“Come on, I scared ya half to death and stole you away. It’s the least I can do.”

“Wait- sis. We gotta see you again.”

“I don’t have my phone on me.”

“Neither do we…”

“Higurashi shrine!” she blurted out. “It’s my family shrine, it’s where I live. It’s not too far from here. You shouldn’t have any problem finding us. I’m going back home tomorrow afternoon.”

As much as she had made her peace with the past, getting a taste of it had brought it all rushing back and she wasn’t quite ready to let it go. Plus, they were friends right? Would it be so bad if she expanded her circle while hanging out with people who knew… everything about her?

-O-

“Alright, who took the last bagel?”

“It was sis.”

“Definitively sis.”

“I just got here!” Kagome defended as she sat down across from the boys.

“Nice try idiots,” Kouga said as he smacked them both on the back of the head. “The one who finishes them is supposed to get new ones.”

“Nuh uh, you said that was only if sis wanted some.” Ginta turned his head to look at Kagome. “Did ya want one?”

“I’m good,” she said with a laughter.

A few mornings a week, she would drop by and have breakfast with the pack. Sometimes, it was like being thrown back into the feudal era; they did most things together. Their kitchen was adapted to accommodate a much larger table. The pack was smaller than it used to be, but it did have at list a dozen members, excluding the cubs and other babies. She had yet to see most of them turn, and so didn’t know what species everyone was but they did seem to get along. She didn’t want to take up too much room, but she was enjoying being part of a group who knew about her. Sometimes, she caught herself before she overshared with her friends but there was so much she wished she could tell them. Here, they understood.

“Ya hungry?”

She shook her head. “I’m afraid I’ll lose a finger if I try to take something off the table.”

“That’s a fair assumption,” he replied as he plopped down next to her. “The cubs can get really hungry and grumpy.”

“Are you sure they’re not your cubs?” she teased.

“I’m very pleasant.”

“You hit Ginta and Hakkaku because they ate your bagel.”

“I’m their alpha. I have the bagel rights.”

“I don’t think that’s a thing,” she pointed out.

“You know sis, I really missed ya,” Ginta said as he took another bite of bagel. “No one else puts Kouga back in his place quite like you.”

“A real alpha female,” Hakkaku pitched in with a smile. 

Kouga's eyes narrowed and the warning was clear but it did not stop the two betas from giggling. They both knew the words my woman were burning at his lips. But of course, he wouldn’t dare to say it. 

-O-

“Who are you texting?”

“Sorry?” Kagome peeled her eyes away from her cellphone long enough to stare at Ayumi. 

“You're smiling like an idiot. Are you texting a boy?” They hadn’t seen Kagome show much interest in dating ever since high school ended. Her lack of interest had become so apparent that even Hojo had gotten the message and finally given up on trying to woo Kagome. To see her almost giggling at her phone… it was new.

“Oh no,” she said as she put her phone down on the table. “He’s just a friend.”

“So it’s a he…”

Kagome resisted the urge to roll her eyes. “Yes and he is a friend.” 

It had taken five hundred years but they had found a balance in their friendship. It wasn’t like she didn’t like past Kouga but he did used to come on a little strong.  He had proclaimed his love for her back when they didn’t know the first thing about each other! At least now she felt like she was actually getting to know him, this new and older version of him. Obviously he was the same impulsive hot head stubborn wolf at his core, but he had learned to reign it in.

“If you say so.”

“I do.”

Friends. They were friends.

-O-

“Beer drinking contest?” She cringed. “That’s a little…  frat housish isn’t it?”

Kouga offered her a shrug. “Sometimes the boys get bored and their competitive side gets the best of them. They can’t hunt anymore, can’t get that thrill anymore.”

She couldn’t blame them for that; she knew this world, it was her only one… but for them? They basically had to forsaken who they were. They had to hide and live in shame of their true nature. If doing a beer drinking contest made them feel better… who was she to judge? It was actually nice to see the smaller pack all gathered in the backyard, cheering on.

“I didn’t think about how hard this must be for you. For me, when I was in the feudal era, all I could about was a warm bubble bath and a comfortable bed.” The things she had to give up while in the feudal era were nothing compared to what they had lost. Especially since she had often brought a few modern era delicacies with her. 

He shrugged as he clapped his hands together, letting them hang between his legs. “It’s not so bad. I mean, we try to find a few places where we can let loose. It’s all about adapting. There was a time we were on top and humans were scrambling. Now its our turn.” He had lived long enough to see the order change, who knew… maybe he would see it happen again. 

“Well, I'm glad you didn’t die.”

“I knew ya missed me chasing you around.”

“It wasn’t that bad…” He gave her a side glance that was enough to let her know that he wasn’t buying it. “You did save me more than once. And I mean, it was sweet. Although you could have been a little nicer to Inuyasha.”

“That mutt was trying to cut me down with that sword of his any time he saw me.”

“Inuyasha wasn’t very good at expressing feelings. I think that might have been part of the issue with you two.”

“We did also want the same woman.”

“Right.” She cleared her throat. “So no one? At all?”

“I was waitin' for ya!” He watched her lips part in surprise and he couldn’t help but chuckle. “Nah, I guess I just never found the one.”

She arched an eyebrow. “You thought I was the one within like 5 minutes of meeting me. I have a hard believing you never met any other women.” 

“Well, you’re Kagome. You’re pretty special. It would take an idiot not to see that.”

Badump. It was brief but for a second, her heart raced. What the hell.

-O-

Loud yelps of fear escaped all of their throats the second Kouga yanked the blanket away from them. Kagome, Ginta and Hakkaku had been hiding under it, shielding their poor traumatized eyes from the horror movie still playing on the TV. Their first reflex was to cover their faces with their hands as they remained cuddled up on the couch, ignoring Kouga's presence.

“Why are you dummies watching a horror movie if you’re scared?”

“We didn’t know!”

“Ginta picked it.”

“I thought it was a comedy!” he defended.

“So why didn’t you stop it?”

“We wanted to try to finish it.”

Kouga rolled his eyes before allowing the blanket to fall on the ground. He sighed before gesturing to Ginta to move to the left, away from Kagome. “Scoot over dummy.”

Ginta more than happily obliged, giving Kouga enough space to squeeze between Kagome and himself. “But if we’re watching it, we’re watching. No hiding behind the blanket.” 

It didn’t require much: his presence was enough. Kagome hadn’t hone her priestess skills in a long time but even she could easily tell that his aura had grown. What he had been before could be compared to a teenager and now… he was grown up. 

“Thanks,” she whispered as she sunk deeper into the couch.

“Anything for my woman,” he teased. 

He had let a few tease slip and so far she hadn’t stopped him. He knew better than to be serious, he knew better than to push it and yet, it was raging inside of him. He wanted to go that far, he wanted to see how far he could push it before he got slapped again… but he never got that far. 

-O-

“Penny for your thought?”

Kagome jumped, startled, at the sound of his deep voice as it cut through the quietness of the night. “Sorry, I was just getting some fresh air. It gets a little warm in there when everyone is getting riled up.” Anything that involved drinking and games always got the pack's energy up. Obviously, this was a safe space for them which often caused them to act a bit more recklessly. She didn’t mind, but as a human, she was a bit more fragile than they were. Plus, sometimes, she did feel like an intruder. Not that they made her feel that way – on the contrary. She just didn’t always know where she fit in all of it. 

“That’s the guys for ya,” he said, his grasp on his glass beer bottle weak  making it swing between his legs with each step he took. “Can I sit?” he asked as he gestured to the stairs.

She moved over to the right to give him more space and offered him a smile. “Aren’t they gonna miss you in there?”

“Won’t be around forever. They gotta learn to be without me for a bit.”

“To me, you feel pretty immortal right now.”

“Me? Imagine when I saw you.”

“Maybe I should have pretended to not know you,” she joked.

“I woulda believed it. I mean you? After all this time? Not even in my wildest dreams.”

“I never thought I'd end up here. I mean, we were friends but, we weren’t that close. To think that I traveled all the way back, meet so many people… got stuck back home and then… ran into you in the middle of the woods? What are the odds?”

“Pretty fucking slim,” he replied before taking a sip of his beer. “Shit feels a little too crazy to be real. Sometimes I can’t wrap my head around the fact that you didn’t die 500 years ago.” It was what he had thought for a long time. 

“Not dead. And apparently you can’t get rid of you.” 

He put his beer down and tilted his head to stare at her. “Trust me, I'd never be trying to get rid of ya. Quite the opposite.”

Badump. Again. He was saying so much and so little at the same time. And she couldn’t find anything to say in return. She didn’t know what she thought. Maybe it was who he was. Maybe he was teasing her. She was almost always here. When she wasn’t they did talk a lot. She didn’t know where the line was or even where she wanted it to be. She did know it was nice to be herself, it was nice to be around someone who understand and… and she was comfortable. He was sitting next to her, his leg hovering so close to hers, they were almost touching but not quite. She wasn’t him, she wasn’t bold. She didn’t know what she wanted. But this… this was nice.

This sometimes made her heart skip a beat. 

“Good,” she said, staring away from him, breaking the eye contact. Her cheeks burned in the coldness of the night as she sunk her teeth in her bottom lip.

He managed to restrain himself from smiling, his lips quivering with the need to express his joy at the small statement. It was not a slap and it was not a no. Maybe there was a hope. They had hugged naked. Well… he had been naked anyways. That was progress. 

“Good.”

~The end~

[letstalksymphogear]

Symphogear, EP. 6

Last Time on Grand Theft Auto:

Tsubasa recovers from the world’s gayest coma as Hibiki trains her mind while putting aside such silly concepts as “the love of my life” and “literally being with my girlfriend.” After cooling Miku’s paranoia with her brand new washboard abs, Genjuro prepares the team for a pizza run across the city to deliver a dangerously hot pizza pie named Durandal. Chaos emerges as the delivery is intercepted by a rival pizza gang, lead by the nefarious Gremlin known as Yukine Chris. But, before the pizza could be claimed, dedicated pizza deliverywoman Hibiki not only steals it back, but eats it, harnessing the power of the pizza and unleashing cheesy pasta based chaos around the location.

Ryoko is so into it that she taps into her superpowers and protects Hibiki after she passes out. The delivery is considered a failure, and no tip is given.

And so, the journey continues...

Meanwhile, in this weird, tricked out mansion...

Chris meditates on some water metaphors of her own.

“that pacman colored freak took only touching it to activate a cheap ass french sword that gave her weird demon powers and its taken me YEARS to use this dumb stripper outfit and the funny cane that goes with it, what the FUCK man, what even is my life”

“maybe... maybe honeybaked hams ARE that powerful...”

“NO! turkey is the superior meat! it’s healthier, lower in fat, and way more tasty! fuck you! i’ll get my goddamned revenge!”

Chris begins musing about Fine’s motivations to capture Hibiki; during these, we’re treated to some brief image flashbacks of Chris’s life.

Suddenly, those jokes about food are a lot less funny.

It doesn’t take a genius to put two and two together as to why this young woman is helping a strange nudist dominatrix spread alien terror across the city of mumblednoises, Japan. She doesn’t really have many an option on the table. It’s either help the weird kinkster with her plans, or die.

Despite everything, she has a high opinion of Fine, for the same reasons someone might have a high opinion of a television show if it were the only show they were ever exposed to. She is deeply afraid of being alone again, because she has lived through such misery that the very thought of existing out in the cold again terrifies the shit out of her.

The Sun rises casually amidst Chris’s thoughts.

“ah shit. it just hit me. i literally have spent the entire night standing here instead of actually going the fuck to sleep. goddamnit.”

On such a devious metaphorical twist, Fine stands behind her as the Sun rises.

“yeah, jokes on you. i couldnt sleep for shit either. turns out, all nude, no blankets? in japan? real bad idea.”

“thats why i decided to GO GOTH, babey! whattaya think? do i give those witchy vibes, huh? real ‘black magic woman’ santana hours? feeling cute, gonna head out with the girls and summon satan in the woods kinda aesthetic looking shit? come on, be real with me. does this not look baller?”

“you look like morticia decided to go to the grocery store to buy some wonder bread, but other than that, its a step up from your usual pussy out attitude, so sure”

“you know i decided to get some brain cells on loan from Brain Cells R Us, and ive been thinking this solomon cane stuff is solomon lame. i dont need this dumb oversized harry potter cosplay prop to get shit done. also, murder is... sorta bad? im still trying to get the brain cell stuff down.”

“i can punch just as good as goody two shoes if not better.”

“lol go do it then champ, im gonna go cut down a forest of trees now”

And so, they both just kinda... stand there.

“QUACK, NEXT SCENE, QUACK”

Meanwhile, Tsubasa is rapidly trying to rehabilitate herself from her wounds like walking like a madman, her IV drip presumably filled with Taco Bell brand Doritos Locos Tacos super spicy nacho cheese. Taco Bell: Live Mas.

“im gonna clear every fucking taco bell in your goddamned memory, kanade”

“think outside the bun! wait, what? that was a taco bell slogan? ah fuck it, im dead. what nerd’s gonna try and correct me?”

“i would, kanade. i am that nerd.”

Tsubasa is hell bent to try and understand Kanade’s simple philosophy of helping others selflessly. Unfortunately, when Kanade died, she took all the brain cells between them in the process, so coming to this epiphany is a work in progress.

“listen its a fucking miracle you are 1. alive and 2. able to have your blood run on the garbage melted plastic taco bell tries to dupe people into believing is cheese so why dont you just lie down and think of better franchises to eat from”

“no! you dont understand! taco bell is a franchise of the PEOPLE! their meals are cheap and filling and- and the chicken quesadillas are of good quality for their price! i promised kanade- my vow to the death. taco bell... ergh... now and forever... i-”

“wait. my gay senses are tingling.”

It’s Hibiki, probably running track with Miku.

“oh yeah... her... i should probably apologize to her. about trying to kill her. and then letting her almost be kidnapped. and just giving her a general hard time about something that wasn’t explained to her in the slightest for months. she’s a good bean.”

Tsubasa proceeds to never canonically apologize to Hibiki throughout the entirety of all 4 seasons of Symphogear.

Look at em run. See, it’s a metaphor, because they haven’t communicated yet and they’re running from their problems! But they’re running towards Tsubasa, who is part of the representative problem these two share! Clearly literary genius.

It’s like someone went halfway into writing an NTR plotline and went “maybe this isn’t a good idea to market our songs on.”

Hibiki is still thinking about her Hellshake Yano moment with Durandal. Mainly how she nearly killed someone with it. Hibiki is very starkly in the “killing is bad, and wrong” camp of morality, a trait currently unique to her that she’ll wind up teaching literally everyone else she meets one way or another.

Some could argue the L stands for Lydian, and they’re wrong. It stands for Lesbian.

“that was one hell of a run, hibiki! im pooped! why dont we go to the locker room and call it a day, have a nice shower and just get some dinn-”

“this is the last straw.

i clean your plates. i cook your food. we eat, shit, shower, and sleep in the same FUCKING area, and this is how you repay me? huh? you think being your wife is easy shit, hibiki? half the damn time you’re running off like clark kent having food poisoning and the other half ive gotta babysit you, the emotional equivalent of a preteen clown, to make sure your life doesn’t self destruct harder than Atlantis sinking into the ocean. im done! i am DONE. im reopening my tinder, im slamming my ass BACK into okcupid, and im gonna date some CUTE ACADEMY GIRLS that treat me BETTER than this ABSOLUTE BETRAYAL OF HEART AND IM NOT CRYING I SWEAR ITS JUST THE SWEAT IN MY EYES AND HIBIKI HOW COULD YOU-”

“oh yeah, sure! hey, lemme just do a few more laps, ive just been feeling judgmental about myself and my figure, you know? gotta push myself further...”

“o-oh yeah, sure. no worries, ill wait for you. love you too, hibiki...”

The girls bathe together, as good friends typically do.

“hey you ever notice the showers here have like, weird psuedo-luxurious minipools to bathe in? like, how rich is this school?”

“whoever made this place is either rich or a pervert. or both, probably!”

Miku remarks that Hibiki has changed since she’s entered Lydian, in a manner most unheterosexual.

“oh FUCK you really DO have washboard abs now! ohhh my god.”

“damn, those abs were heavenly. let’s get pancakes later.”

I won’t screenshot it but something to note is that they actually wear each other’s corresponding underwear colors (or even, if you want to examine more closely, each other’s underwear). Here’s an equivalent scene to give you the mental image.

This is the face of someone who knows what they want and already have it. Such is the power of Kohinata Miku.

Meanwhile, Genjuro comes back from the funeral of the guy the Americans filled violently and with impunity.

“yo that all black look looks baller. i should borrow that look... id look pretty gothy in it.”

“ryoko i sympathize with your sharp, fashionista eye but this was for a funeral, i was paying my respects to the dead. thats the usual dress code.”

“didnt know they updated that. i remember back in my day, we just went in white garments and chanted in latin!”

“shit was fire. literally. lots of funeral pyres.”

“lmao ryoko buddy your larping sessions arent actual history”

“hey dont shit on larping around me. i used to be a professional larper while i was majoring in acting. helped really sell my career when i had to pretend to slay the Dark Lord Jyarloen atop the mountain of skulls in Hargobor after my family was killed by the Dark Army. asshole.”

“haha yeah, larping, thats cool yeah, i do that

i...

i larp.”

“oh yeah? you wanna join my larping session sometime then? we’re gonna do an ancient babylon plot thats inspired by some anime, itll be fun”

“.....................................im super into realism.”

“i know im dressed for a funeral but id like to not part ways with my dignity yet. besides, we’ve got serious shit to talk about. basically, we’re on the verge of getting shitcanned.”

As it turns out, the death of this politician removed the last obstacle of opposition to maintain the 2nd Division, as the average criticism against the 2nd Division is “why are we funding this mystery division when we don’t know what they do”. Of course, the sensible idea for an organization that defeats the Noise is to declassify it, given people of different jobs and positions have physically seen the Symphogear in action, but you know. “Oh no, the other governments will come after us” stick gets shaken.

“im in a union. i know my rights. you’re not taking my acting job here away from me.”

“im not going back to be a preschool teacher. its been ten year. the bites on my ankles still havent healed...”

“yeah man, shit sucks ass. i cant fund my adoption habits if im fired.”

Look at these cinematic parallels. Symphogear truly is a franchise made by someone living in 3030.

“worst part is the new minister is super into america. he’s a... westaboo.”

“a westaboo?”

“westaboo?”

“did he just unironically say westaboo”

“he said westaboo. oh my god. this is the hell timeline.”

“i mean people kept calling me that for worshipping all these fighting flicks so i guess it fit? i dont see the problem here”

Meanwhile, in Lydian Academy...

“so it hit me, right? we’re ALL girls. and we ALL sing. now, humor me a moment. what if... what if we’ve all been recruited to potentially be superheroes... through our singing? like, there’s no coincidence that all this shit happens around us, right? and a famous singer LIVES here? i saw the black cars outside! weird shit is happening here- im not even gonna eat the all you can eat bar anymore!”

“kathy there is literally no such thing as superheroes who sing. this place is more likely to be a organ harvesting op than whatever madness you’re saying”

“what? you need me, a singing superhero, to go stop a problem happening underneath the school, a location meant to recruit young women into potentially becoming fellow crime fighting singers?”

“yeah im too busy poppin’ caps in asses so go kick ass in my place”

“sure!”

“.....................................who ya talkin to, hibiki?”

“the boss! gotta go do a thing again...”

“hibiki, i dont like the fact that capitalism is tearing us apart.”

“you’ve gotta join me in the revolution, hibiki. you. me. luxury automated gay space communism. aint it the dream? share my vision, hibiki. its glorious.”

“n... no...? no gay space communism today? well, what about tomorrow? or the next day? or... maybe the next day? baby steps, you say? but, direction action, hibiki! we’ve gotta strike now!”

“it’s okay hibiki. when i take over the world and destroy all first world government leaders, and unite the globe in my encompassing reign and love... ill make sure to spare you, and be my bride to be.”

“thanks miku. im just not ready yet for the globe to burn in an unending ball of fire as the continents fuse into a new utopia composed of our combined wills. also, ive really gotta go, its genuinely an emergency.”

“for the cause!”

“yes hibiki... for the cause...”

Admittedly, you can see the stages of grief Miku goes through when she sees Hibiki say she can’t join her for pancakes. It’s sad. This side story sucks.

Meanwhile, as it turns out, the problem Hibiki needed to resolve was checking on Tsubasa to see if she hadn’t dissolved into Taco Bell brand hot n’ spicy Tabasco sauce.

“god, cant believe taco bell was closed. now i gotta deliver these lame ass flowers”

“cant wait to get threatened again. wonder what she’ll say. ‘hibiki, i should have killed you when i had the chance.’ or ‘you’re so goddamned weak. i could break your spine with my fingernail’, or some other stuff about metaphors. oh, my stops here”

“HEY BITCH WHATS GOOD-”

“HOLY SHIT”

“you are already”

“dead.”

[gascon-en-exil]

So Who’s the Queen?: A Chess of Blades Review (Part 2)

Part 1

With the general overview out of the way it’s time to jump into a critique of the real substance of this game: the four men who can fall in love with Rivian and turn him into the champion bottom he was always destined to be. As with last time I’ll be avoiding major plot spoilers but will spare no detail when I turn my discriminating eye toward the game’s scenes of sweet, tender lovemaking...or raw, kinky fucking, whatever floats your boat. Some of them could go either way.

Fun fact: my silly subtitle for the sex scenes comes from a Japanese expression jokingly proposed as an alternative source for the word yaoi. I thought it only appropriate given what I’m judging here.

Arden

It took some effort for me to ignore that this guy shares his name with the least fuckable bachelor of Fire Emblem: Genealogy of the Holy War, but eventually I managed. It helps that the two have nothing else in common, up to and including preference of sexual partners.

Arden is the best friend romance of CoB, the only one with whom Rivian has an established history. Thinking back to the similarly positioned Ian in Coming Out on Top, this is a visual novel character type that presents a unique challenge for the writer(s) in that there has to a be an explanation for why the two of them don’t shack up until the events of the game. I rather like CoB’s reasoning for this, as it’s one that plays into both Arden and Rivian’s insecurities and explains why Rivian is so prickly to a supposed close friend during the shared prologue. Arden is clingy and overly expectant, and the game allows this to feel off-putting even partway through his route (which is shared with the “secret” fourth love interest, in a scenario where Rivian decides that he and Arden have grown into such different people that reconciliation is impossible). This is an unusual but not unwelcome way to lead into what is undoubtedly the fluffiest of the romances, in which Arden has to be open about his self-conscious reservations and Rivian has to be willing to forgive. Arden’s protectiveness of Rivian also becomes less grating as the route goes on and the two start to face genuine danger, and as Rivian points out that kind of dedication is actually quite sweet when it’s wanted. The only really awkward thing about the construction of Arden’s route is that, because most of their relationship drama comes from the fallout of their youthful infatuation, it has very little to do with the main plot of a kidnapped little girl. It is at least the most morally straightforward of the routes, one that brings out both Arden’s loyalty to Rivian and to his kingdom (even though he is a bit dense about it, in the tradition of most lawful good paladin-esque type characters) and Rivian’s buried affection for his family. Like I said, it’s pretty fluffy on the whole.

The “Ow, my ass!” rating: Mild. As might be expected Arden’s sex scene is the most vanilla in the game, which is fitting because 1) it matches the more innocent passion of a childhood romance gone horizontal(ish), and because 2) Arden is also a virgin somehow, despite having spent several years in a military environment in a setting where no one cares if guys hook up with each other. There’s no lube, but I can excuse it because Arden both fingers and rims Rivian beforehand. More significantly, Rivian rides Arden’s cock which is not only the most active he ever is in a sex scene but also a great position for the inexperienced to get accustomed to the feeling of taking a dick. Don’t get the impression that this means that Rivian is taking a dominant role, however; the term “power bottom” is more about attitude than positioning, and Rivian is still very much lacking in that department. Also, they have sex on a chair and I have no idea why, since there’s a perfectly serviceable bed in the same room. I like to be able to hold onto my partner’s shoulders when I’m riding him to help keep my balance, but I don’t think that’s worth having to angle myself around the arms. Kind of a toss-up there.

Franz

According to the developer notes in the artbook Franz was the first of the love interests to be designed, and they had a specific exotic flavor in mind that in practice feels very much like how I think Anglos see Continentals collectively. German first name and French family name aside, I get a more Iberian feeling from him personally. Maybe it’s the thing about his country being known for chocolates, or maybe the (very late in coming) self-flagellation...not literal, mind you.

Even leaving aside his real world cultural inspirations, Franz is very much the aggressive rogue type of love interest, the “perverted foreigner” as Rivian describes him more than once who introduces himself by grabbing Rivian on his balcony and practically dry humping him while dropping some foreshadowing regarding the plot. The above image is a comparatively benign moment early on in Franz’s route proper, but it goes to show just how casually grabby the guy is and how Rivian is essentially forced to get used to it. That may be unsettling for some players, but I happen to like a man assertive enough to go for what he wants - although the fact that Franz is vastly hotter and wealthier than many of the men who’ve groped me certainly plays a role there too. In any case the plot of his route - that of the murder of an ambassador in which Franz is curiously interested -  plays into the idea of him as a man of mystery gradually revealed to be driven by something other than sensual indulgence, and getting his good ending requires that Rivian learn to trust and care about Franz even as he’s not at all forthcoming about his identity or motivations up until the very end. Franz’s route is unique in that his sex scene appears before the determination of whether or not you’ll get his good ending and even before certain major revelations are made regarding his character. This suits his roguish appeal just fine, even though the scene itself is kind of...well, see below. Honestly Franz is probably my favorite of the love interests by a narrow margin; he’s rich, hot, aggressive, and shown to be very open-minded about kinks while also capable of genuinely affectionate moments. That’s a rare combination and prime wish fulfillment fodder.

The “Ow, my ass!” rating: Uncomfortably high, sad to say. Props to the guy for being suave enough to lead Rivian through a masquerade ball one minute and then drag him into a storage closet to fuck his brains out the next, but it’s a massive understatement when he assures Rivian that he won’t be gentle. Franz fucks Rivian’s mouth on a cold stone floor and then only takes the time to briefly finger him with spit before impaling the boy. You really have to be into the controlling top persona to enjoy his scene, particularly as there’s little to no (onscreen) aftercare. I was also left feeling disappointed at how conventional Franz’s sex scene felt, after he’d previously teased Rivian about wanting to collar him - he calls him “kitten” throughout their interactions - and enjoying the sight of a cross-dressing Rivian. I definitely enjoy the idea that Franz is into both pet play and feminization, but it turns out to be a case of telling and not showing. At least Franz retains most of his Dom demeanor up through his epilogue, as I would have really rolled my eyes if his kinky tendencies mysteriously vanished after he and Rivian made their big romantic confessions.

Linnaeus

I’m still not sure how I feel about Linnaeus. Part of this is that I’m missing out on the reference; developer notes make it clear that his appearance and personality were modeled after those of characters in the Ace Attorney series, which I’ve never played. I can at least acknowledge the allusion found in his narrative, which reaches its (non-sexual) climax not with a violent confrontation in a mysterious setting as in the other routes but with a courtroom trial. The Steam achievement for winning the trial is even called “Rivian Wright,” at that.

More than that however Linnaeus is a man whose appeal as a love interest exists (in my opinion) on a less visceral or emotional level than the others’. Archetypically speaking he’s the defrosting tsundere who initially seems to not like Rivian very much at all and only gradually comes to enjoy his company after they’ve been thrown together by apparent coincidence in the case of a foreign duchess’s stolen diamonds. Linnaeus is a haughty intellectual and very much a sadist both in and out of bed, but later explorations of his character add depth to his talents as the king’s inquisitor and zeal for bringing criminals - especially the members of the anarchistic Disciples of Ignatius - to justice. Throw in some friction with an estranged cousin who also wants to woo Rivian and might want Linnaeus’s job as well as some earnestly romantic gestures masked by smart-assery and in one case a literal mask and there’s definitely material here for a satisfying romance. There’s some hiccups - the trial is not difficult at all to win, and there’s an optional tarot card reading scene that adds nothing to the route but unneeded foreshadowing and feels out of place besides - but it’s by no means a bad story. Maybe Linnaeus just likes to screw with Rivian too much for my taste, or maybe I’m just not into tsundere types.

The “Ow, my ass!” rating: Of a reasonable threshold, but that doesn’t mean I really care for it. Linnaeus’s sex scene involves edging, begging, and light bondage, three things that I tend to find more annoying than sexy in my own encounters. I do like that he’s a kinky guy and that the game is more willing to show that than it is with Franz, and I also like that Linnaeus comes prepared not just with rope but with lube (finally!). This is more my personal taste than anything, as objectively there’s nothing illogical or inaccurate about their encounter. No doubt their future liaisons become even more maddening, as in the epilogue Linnaeus remarks that he has “instruments” he enjoys using on Rivian. That’s just...not my preferred type of Dom, I suppose? Additionally, for whatever it’s worth Linnaeus’s naughty bits are not visible in either of his erotic CGs due to angling and his fondness for humiliation, which is kind of a letdown.

And no, Rivian never gets to yell “Objection!” during this route. Another missed opportunity, Chess of Blades.

Sabre

Sabre is the guy on the left. The one on the right is Kieran - keep him in mind for later.

This is the secret love interest. His route branches off from Arden’s and cannot be accessed until you’ve completed Arden’s route once. There’s a good narrative reason for this, and on the surface Sabre seems like a great option for a bonus romance. He’s got tons of raw sex appeal, a unique role in the story, and a social status that separates him from Rivian and the other love interests, such that while the other three are each likened to a chess piece protecting Rivian as the king Sabre’s route is more akin to upending the board entirely. Rivian falls in love with a common brawler, ultimately opting to leave the treacherous games of the court behind him. There are two very large problems with this route though:

1) Sabre has the worst voice acting of any of the characters without question. He’s got the accent problem I brought up last time, in his case doubly so because he affects a thick Scottish brogue for his fighting persona which contrasts against his uncharacteristically refined normal voice, but whether due to the VA or the audio recording equipment his volume modulation is also highly erratic. Most of his lines are either screamed so loudly I was tempted to remove my headphones or are so quiet that they’re barely audible, especially at the end of some lines where he just trails off into near-silence. There is very little middle ground, and the combined effect is extremely distracting. It doesn’t help either that Sabre is lumped in with the supporting cast in the volume settings unlike Rivian and the other love interests whose voices can be adjusted individually, so muting him will mute everyone else.

2) Then there’s Kieran, who represents a more complicated issue with Sabre’s route. The two are introduced as close friends and sparring partners who share a healthy rivalry, and even though the romantic focus of the route remains on the developing relationship between Rivian and Sabre Kieran gets in some flirty banter of his own with Rivian and makes it clear that he wouldn’t turn down the nobleman’s admiration. Somewhat shockingly, this actually does culminate in a threesome, even though it’s staged more like the way some straight guys talk about M/M/F threesomes wherein the two men (tops in this case) have their way with the woman while having minimal interaction with each other. As someone who’s engaged in my fair share of threeways with two tops I don’t necessarily object to this arrangement, and in fact I like that it continues to play up the sense of rivalry between Sabre and Kieran. What I don’t like is that after they’ve had sex and Rivian has bid farewell to both of them the epilogue drops Kieran entirely. He’s not mentioned or referenced at all, and everything comes back to Rivian and Sabre rekindling their relationship a year later under noticeably more conventional circumstances. Perhaps a true poly relationship is beyond the capabilities of a visual novel with romance routes like this, but it would have been a welcome addition to the ending if it was mentioned that the two of them get visits from Kieran from time to time and that they’re all working it out. As it stands Kieran just feels like eye candy and a tool for Sabre’s development, which is a real shame since he’s an affable character in his own right (and more competently voiced, that’s for sure - funnily enough by Franz’s VA, using what sounds more like his natural voice).

Combined these two problems really limit how well this route lives up to its potential, but I found that I could grit my teeth through Sabre’s performance and use some creative license in the ending to get around its shortcomings. It definitely feels less well constructed than the three main routes, but as an alternative to Arden’s storyline it adds a fair bit. But then....

The “Ow, my ass!” rating: Off the charts - Rivian should be dead after this sex scene. True, they use lube and Kieran eats him out first, and spit roasting is a common and reasonable practice in a two tops/one bottom arrangement, but then there’s the double penetration. Allow me to remind you that Rivian is a virgin and has apparently never stretched his hole before this encounter, and yet somehow he’s able to take two well-endowed men simultaneously. I’m not buying it, and even worse the position he’s in - sandwiched between two hulking men twice his size as they drill into him from above and below - makes me wonder that he’s more likely to die of suffocation than rectal hemorrhaging. There’s a moment during the narrative climax where Kieran bear hugs a man almost to unconsciousness, so the writers clearly must have known it was a possibility - but nope, the delicate noble boy somehow survives taking two dicks at once while being smashed between two mountains of muscle. Oh, and did I mention that said mountains of muscle have no refractory periods? They both cum from the spit roasting, and then immediately Sabre is hard again and raring to shove his way into Rivian’s poor overtaxed hole alongside Kieran. Rivian’s inner monologue lampshades this downright inhuman stamina, but that doesn’t excuse it when you take everything else that’s off about this scene. I fully understand that this is a wildly hot fantasy for anyone into beefy guys, but more than anything else in CoB this sex scene is decidedly not something to try at home. 

In conclusion...

Arden is sweet, Franz is hot and surprisingly romantic, Sabre comes with issues (and Kieran) but is undoubtedly sexy, and Linnaeus is...something. Good selection on the whole but too bad about Rivian’s hole.

[imaginetonyandbucky]

Hi!! Thanks opening prompts; I was wondering if anyone is interested in writing a Post TWS fic where the WS is on the loose and kidnaps Tony to be his new handler since he's good with mainteance for his arm and giving out orders and falls for him bringing sparks of Bucky back. While Tony alrrady knows (through Jarvis searches) that WS was responsible for his parents deaths and while he is angry he's tryibg to survive snd wants to help Bucky. Both see how damaged the other is. Xo, Katie

A/N: I tweaked it a bit so that I could turn it into a sequel for my story One More Light, which you might need to read for context.

Also on AO3!

Out of Ashes Chapter 1: Falling

“It’s probably just a coincidence,” Tony said out loud, back in his lab and spinning around in circles in his office chair.  In his pocket he was turning the dog tag over and over in his fingers, trying to resist temptation.

“What is, sir?”

“Nothing, JARVIS.”  Tony put the tag in the top drawer of his desk and closed it firmly.  He wasn’t going to look up Barnes, James Buchanan.  Because it was just a coincidence.

“I mean, lots of people probably have that name.”

“What name, sir?”

“Never mind, JARVIS.”

Tony lasted thirty minutes before he opened the drawer again.

It took him ten to determine that there has not been another James Buchanan Barnes in the US military since the James Buchanan Barnes; there was a James Brantley Barnes twenty years ago, but that’s all. There was a James Buchanan Barnes out of Little Rock (sandy-haired and twenty years old) and one out of Fort Wayne, Indiana (fifty years old if he’s a day).   The man he’d seen was the spitting image of Bucky Barnes, if ol’ JBB had gone on a week-long bender after growing his hair out.  But no way the man he’d seen was over ninety years old.

Tony rubbed his hands over his face and stared at the picture on the screen, the hat tipped at a jaunty angle, the confident smirk and the dark, guarded eyes.  He ran his thumb over the raised letters of the dog tag for a moment before he closed the windows on his computer and tucked the tag into his pocket.

“Alright JARVIS, open up the files on the palladium, we’re going back to the drawing board.”

Beware the read more

The next day, and then the day after that, and the one after that, until it became a daily habit, Bucky checked the newspaper - first the headlines, then the obituaries, just in case.  He knew it was kind of silly, because there was no reason for him to believe that if Tony did decide to go through with it, his death would even make the news, but he did it anyway.  Gradually it evolved into also doing the crossword puzzle, then the crossword and the Sudoku, until he realized that he had made himself a whole morning routine, complete with a coffee shop where they knew his order as soon as he came in.

The first time he realized he had become predictable he panicked and hid out for days, calling out of work and jumping at shadows.  He spent one whole day wedged into a corner under the Brooklyn Bridge with a pistol in one hand and a knife in the other before he finally calmed down enough to crawl out of his hiding spot in order to find food.  Eating made him sleepy, and as soon as he got to a safe place he crashed for twelve solid hours.  When he woke up his body felt shaky, fragile, but his mind was clear. And when he finally slunk into his coffee shop, still feeling vaguely embarrassed by his overreaction, the barista greeted him with a huge smile.

“I saved you the paper,” she said.  “Your coffee will be right up.”

Bucky smiled shyly and thanked her, taking his usual seat near the rear exit with his back to the wall.  He sipped his coffee and did both puzzles before he started flipping through the paper itself.

Then his brain stuttered when he saw the headline. STARK EXPO ATTACKED, it said in big letters, and underneath Iron Man and War Machine Defeat Rogue Robots. The main picture on the page was of the Stark Expo convention grounds mostly destroyed and still aflame, but above the fold there was a small picture of a man with a cocky grin and a distinctive beard, looking out at the camera over a pair of colored sunglasses.

“Tony…Stark?” Bucky read incredulously, hand drifting to the watch on his wrist. Jesus.  No wonder Tony hadn’t believed that Bucky didn’t recognize him. But in Bucky’s defense, he had pretty much been living under a rock for the past few years. He devoured the article, which took up the front page and half of one farther into the paper, not counting all of the related articles, one of which was about some guy named Justin Hammer and another about Colonel James Rhodes. “Rhodey,” Bucky said under his breath, folding the paper up neatly and draining his coffee.  Nothing in the paper talked about Tony’s mysterious not-cancer, but defeating a small army of robots almost single-handedly didn’t sound like the actions of a man on the edge of death so maybe he figured out whatever he’d been looking for.

Bucky let out a long exhale and relaxed back into his chair, feeling like a weight had come off his shoulders. Tony was ok.  He’d obviously made up with Rhodey and he was going to be fine. “Good for you,” he murmured as he grabbed his bag and tossed it over his shoulder.  He waved goodbye to the barista, feeling a real smile curl his lips for the first time in days, and when he went back outside he tilted his head up and inhaled deeply, feeling the crisp spring air filling his lungs.  He took a moment outside the coffee shop to close his eyes and feel the sun on his face, because, damn, he’d forgotten what happiness could feel like.

He didn’t realize someone had come up behind him until a voice whispered “Sputnik” in his ear. Bucky sagged to the ground, suddenly trapped in a body no longer under his control.

                                                               ***

Two Years Later    

“Who in the hell could do something like this?” Tony said, staring at the photos of the crime scene that was Steve’s apartment.  He studied the bullet holes in the brick wall, each the size of a quarter, and then pulled out the map with the shooter’s location marked on it. “I mean, that shot was just…unbelievable.” When he glanced up Rhodey was glaring at him repressively and Natasha was rolling her eyes. “What?” Tony said defensively.  “I used to sell sniper rifles, I know what it would take to make a shot like this!”

“All I know about him is that he was fast,” Steve said absently, staring down at the wooden table that dominated the SHIELD conference room. “Strong.  And he had a metal arm.”

If Tony hadn’t already been looking at Natasha he would have missed the way her eyelids flickered when Steve said metal arm, even as the rest of her face stayed impassive.  She was holding herself tightly in the way that people did when they were afraid they were going to fall apart. “Alright,” Tony said slowly, still watching her closely.  “Metal arm. That’s pretty distinctive, I’ll start digging.” Steve nodded, something else clearly on his mind as he stood.  “Natasha, a word?” Tony said, shuffling the photos and papers on Fury’s assassination back into the folder as the conference room emptied.  She raised an eyebrow but lingered, giving Interim Director Hill a brief squeeze on the arm as she walked by.

“What is it, Tony?”

“Not the first time you’d heard of a guy with a metal arm, Nat?  Because I gotta say, I stay pretty up to date with the latest technology, including prosthetics, and I’ve never heard of something like Steve’s describing.”

Natasha exhaled and looked at the conference door, making sure it was closed firmly.  “Look, most of the intelligence community doesn’t believe he exists,” she said, voice low. “And the ones that do, call him the Winter Soldier.  He’s assassinated over two dozen people in the last fifty years.”

Tony raised his eyebrows. “So he’s a ghost story. Or like the Dread Pirate Roberts.”

Natasha pressed her lips together. “Look, Tony. One time, I was extracting an engineer from Odessa.  The Winter Soldier shot out my tires, and then shot my engineer straight through me. So I know he’s real. But going after him is a dead end. Believe me, I’ve tried.”

“But I haven’t.”  Tony offered her a crooked grin, tapping the folder against the table.  “You dig on your end, I’ll dig on mine.”

“You know Steve’s not going to sit still on this,” she warned.

“Uh, you think? After his boss was killed in his own living room by a mysterious metal-armed stranger?” Tony opened the door to the conference room, gesturing for her to lead the way. “Were you planning to babysit?”

“I was going to watch his six, yes.” Her heels clicked sharply on the tile floor as she pushed the button for the elevator. “And you? Are you going back to New York?”

“No.” As the elevator dinged and the doors opened, Tony texted Happy to bring the car around. “Something strange is going on at SHIELD and I’m going to find out what.  Let me know if you need backup, ok?”

“Sure thing,” Natasha said with that small smile of hers that said either ‘I’m way ahead of you’ or ‘I’m going to agree and then do whatever I was going to do anyway,’ which more or less amounted to the same thing.

                                                                ***

“Son of a bitch,” Tony cursed as his call went to voicemail for the sixth time; neither Steve nor Natasha had been answering their phone for the past twenty minutes.  “JARVIS, where are Steve and Natasha right now?” He asked as he continued sprinting down the stairs to the garage, taking the steps two at a time.

“Sir, there has been no trace of Ms. Romanov’s since her last update in New Jersey, but the tracker installed on Captain Rogers’ shield indicates that he is in the middle of the Potomac.”

That made Tony’s steps slow in confusion.  “What?  Did he decide to go for a swim?”

“This may provide some clarity, sir.”  Tony glanced down at his phone at the footage JARVIS downloaded; it was a clip from a news channel showing three helicarriers emerging from the river next to SHIELD’s headquarters.

“Son of a bitch,” Tony said again, and continued down the stairs.  Thirty minutes ago JARVIS had finally broken through SHIELD’s encryption.  Twenty-seven minutes ago Tony’s search query started turning up decades and decades of documents relating to the Winter Soldier project and the man with a metal arm, including security camera footage of a gravel road that Tony knew very well.  Twenty-two minutes ago Tony realized the implication of finding all of this information on SHIELD servers, and fifteen minutes ago he started getting a really bad feeling about not being able to reach Steve or Natasha.

Tony was three floors away from the garage where his suit was stored in the trunk of his car when a shudder hit the building, making Tony miss the last two steps and hit the far wall of the landing heavily. “Sir, one of the helicarriers has hit the building,” JARVIS said.  “There is an emergency exit on the first floor, evacuation is highly recommended.”

“No kidding,” Tony said under his breath. “What about my suit?”  He held tightly to the railing as the building shuddered again; there were no windows in the stair well, and the concrete walls muffled any sound coming from outside.

“Sir, it is mathematically impossible for you to reach the emergency suit before the building collapses. Evacuation is highly recommended,” JARVIS repeated with emphasis.

As Tony hit the emergency exit door at the base of the stairs, he was greeted with chaos.  Two helicarriers were tilting drunkenly in the sky, cannons and rail guns still firing at each other with a noise like thunder.  The third cast a long shadow over the grounds of the Triskelion as it fell from the sky, taking the southeast corner of the building with it in a cloud of smoke and rubble. Helicopters circled at a distance, and the air smelled of smoke and fuel as debris rained from the helicarrier battle.   “Holy shit,” Tony breathed.

“Sir, you are still not at a safe distance,” JARVIS said disapprovingly.  “Please continue to-”

“Where’s Steve?” Tony said instead.  “You said he’s on one of those things, right?”

“Captain Rogers’ position has not changed.  Sir, I cannot recommend that you-”

“JARVIS, if Steve went up against that metal armed bastard he’s going to need back up.  I’m not leaving.” Tony swung a leg over the stone balustrade that lined the patio area he was currently on and dropped down to jogging across the parking lot.  It wasn’t long before he was in the woods that lined the Potomac, trying to keep an eye on the helicarriers as he approached Steve’s last known position.

“Any updates, JARVIS?” Tony asked, cursing under his breath as he tried to make his way through the underbrush.

“Captain Rogers’ signal has moved a thousand meters south of your position,” JARVIS answered, making Tony groan.

“I don’t suppose there’s a trail or something-” Tony was yanked backwards as an arm wrapped around his throat, tight and implacable, cutting off his air. Tony’s hands came up to scrabble at the arm around his throat as the edges of his vision went dim. He spent the last of the air in his lungs trying to twist out of the grip but it was fruitless; he might as well have been fighting one of his own suits. He felt his hands drop limply to his sides as the dappled leaves of the forest went black.

[fishdavidson]

Dream Journal 2017-11-19: LEMME TELL YOU ABOUT THE NEWEST ACTION MOVIE THAT NEEDS TO BE MADE

After two days of absence due to me literally forgetting every dream I had (Friday) and playing Pokemon until it was too late to write coherent sentences (Saturday), I’m now back with some quality content! But first, let’s get the bits and pieces of dreams out of the way:

Dream Fragments

Watched a documentary about PayPal’s identity verification processes and how individuals of seemingly Middle Eastern ancestry are disproportionately targeted for verification, told for the perspective of a businessman from India. It was a surprisingly engrossing story.

Rode my bicycle down an empty stretch of highway at sunset during the late summer. The wind on my face was wonderful and the sunset was especially vibrant.

A zombie apocalypse went down, but I was too busy having emotionally fulfilling marital relations with my wife in the woods to get involved with petty matters like “the end of the world” and “the fate of humanity.”

Met an imaginary celebrity who looked sort of like Bill Murray with wavy black hair that came down past his shoulders. Apparently his name was Bill Pentecost, and he really liked apples.

I was badly singing (like really badly) a version of the song “Low Ride” and my wife was like “Sweetie, please, no. Don’t do that.”

In another bicycle/celebrity dream, I rode past an apartment complex that seemingly appeared overnight. There was a big sign outside that said “YES KEANU REEVES LIVES HERE GO AWAY JFC.” Maybe Keanu Reeves lives there? Or is that just some weird misdirection?

The Feature Presentation: “The Kidnapping of the Cupcake”

And speaking of Keanu Reeves, he has an appearance in yet another of my dreams! The last dream fragment before I woke to feed the cats was the one about Keanu’s apartment, and I guess my brain was just primed to see Keanu when I went back to sleep (because cats don’t seem to care about waking their humans up at “reasonable” hours). But what I saw during this next bout of sleep was an extended trailer for a film called “The Kidnapping of the Cupcake.”

Yes, the name is kind of silly, but stick with me now. There’s a jazz soundtrack that opens up the trailer and we see Keanu Reeves walking down the street in a suit (no beard, though, for all you John Wick fans). He stops at a house and bangs on the door. It opens to reveal Christopher Lloyd who looks to be every bit of his circa-2017 age. Keanu tells his friend to get ready because they’re about to have to go on a mission together to dole out some vigilante justice. These characters probably have names that weren’t revealed to me, so in the interest of simplicity, I’ll just keep referring to them by the names of their actors.

Cut to a shot of the two guys walking down the street wearing long coats even though it’s the middle of summer in what looks to be California. Despite this, they still look dapper as hell. “We can’t get cupcakes any more at that bakery we like,” Keanu says.

“This is unacceptable!” says Christopher.

Now there’s a training montage where Keanu and Christopher practice superhuman feats of archery with their crossbows. Yes, these men are definitely crossbow-wielding assassins. And that cupcake incident was what pushed them both over the edge. These dudes can shoot incoming arrows/bolts out of the air with zero effort. It’s like that bullet-time effect in The Matrix, only less cheesy and not done with copious amounts of slow motion. Most of the training montage is actually the two of them shooting directly at each other and either catching the bolts with their bare hands or shooting them out of the sky like a boss. When the training montage is complete, the two men high-five each other.

The scene cuts to a tastefully-lit shot of the interior of a sun drenched high-rise apartment in France. It’s shot in a stylized way to look slightly hazy, and you can tell it’s probably a flashback. Orange sunlight floods through the open windows into the pink living room. A young boy and a woman are seen in silhouette in the shot, and the woman is leaning over the boy telling him that she’s got to go away for a while and that she’ll be back soon.

Now we’re back in the present. There are disjointed shots of explosions, tables being flipped in a restaurant, various threats from the bad guy, and at least one gratuitous slow-mo shot of a bullet piercing a red velvet cake.

Keanu points his crossbow directly at the camera and says something cool and action-movie-esque, like “You picked the wrong day to take away my cupcakes.” And because it’s a fast-paced movie trailer, he shoots his crossbow bolt into the camera toward the viewer right as the movie’s title card comes into view:

It’s a solid pink background with white script that reads “The Kidnapping of the Cupcake” and a chocolate cupcake tumbles from the top of the screen and lands icing-side down just beneath the words. A maraschino cherry that adorned the top of the cupcake is crushed under the weight of such deliciousness that is splatters like stylized blood (because apparently Zack Snyder of 300 and Sin City fame did the title sequence). Smooth jazz continues to play until the music is interrupted by the sound of a gunshot.

The above is the most accurate retelling I can make of the dream as it happened, but there are a few points that were kind of left in need of clarification. As hilarious as it would be for two assassins to go on a murder rampage because cupcakes got taken off the menu, I think there was more to it than that. The feel of the dream seemed to indicate that the woman in the apartment was the owner and only baker at the cupcake place. She was kidnapped by some European guy for unspecified reasons about something that happened in France, and the kidnapper wanted a ransom for his troubles.

Keanu Reeves was a loyal customer that showed up every day for a single cupcake, and he had mostly retired from the world of murder-for-hire. But when he found out that the supply of his precious daily cupcake were going to be interrupted, he took up arms again and went to work. I’m pretty sure he solved the problem and got free cupcakes for life, so the story has a happy ending for everybody who isn’t a criminal. Pretty sure that guy got shot to death, but what else would you expect?

If someone would like to turn this into an actual movie/script/story, feel free to do so. Just let me see the final result (and let me meet Keanu Reeves and Christopher Lloyd if you have pull to make things happen in Hollywood). Until next time, my dreamtime friends!

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Header image of Keanu Reeves getting guns pointed at him is a promotional shot from John Wick Chapter Two.

[kittycat-plisetsky]

Okay so, as someone who was quite against reading Killing Stalking in the beginning, I just want to state my opinion /after/ having decided to read it. (I’ll put the rest under a read-more line, since I seem to have written a small novel. Go ahead an read below for a pointless analysis)

Firstly, you guys. There's honestly SO much to analyze here. So many actions to try to apply reason to and so much to consider in terms of the characters history. Like, oh my goodness, my friend and I have honestly sat and talked about all of this for hours. I don't even know if I have a real reason for writing this, I think I mostly want to get my thoughts on the series in one place, and maybe even get your own brains to consider my thoughts? I suppose I'll just randomly list off some of the ideas/thoughts that my friend and I have bounced around. Mostly, just analyzing what the characters could be thinking, or etcetera.

Firstly, one thing we discussed was... why is Bum even alive at this point?? I mean, quite obviously there's many contributing factors to this, but firstly, notice he wasn't a chosen victim. We've seen Sangwoo's victims, they usually do or say something that sets him off, he lures them in, and then... we know the rest. They're picked out and chosen, and aren't totally randomized, I believe. Yet here we have Bum, who literally is the only "victim" to come in on his own. Sangwoo shows up to his home and finds Bum lurking around. Let's be honest, at this point, Bum has seen too much (he's seen and spoken to a living victim), and honestly, Sangwoo /can't/ let him leave now, even if he wanted to. His own safety would be at risk if Bum left and potentially tattled on him. Again, the fact that he wasn't a chosen target automatically sets Bum apart from any other victim (definitely still a victim, considering the torture he endures).

Additionally, as mentioned a few times already, Bum resembles Sangwoo's mom in one sense or another. Sangwoo loved his mom (he even said "I love you" then "I was talking to my mom"), and I think partially, at least at some point, this is why he hasn't killed Bum.

Additionally to that (and I know some people would hardcore disagree), we can consider "love interest" to be a reason he's kept alive. Bear with me here, I'm only using "love interest" as a phrase due to the lack of a better one at the moment. Before reading into it, I would've never considered love to be at play. Like, why would a murderer and his tortured victim be in love, that's silly. But we can't forgot the character's pasts here. Bum is an obsessive stalker, and that's easy to overlook or forget at some points, but he's stalked Sangwoo. He's convinced himself that he's in love with him, and he was obsessed with him. He wanted him. Thus, Bum breaks into Sangwoo's house and what's the first thing he does? He gets turned on by Sangwoo's scent and placed his pillow between his legs. Bum came into this situation already believing he was in love, and even though Sangwoo turned out to be something Bum wasn't expecting, his love for what he thought Sangwoo was does exist.

And here's a thought that I've considered, though I'm not sure if any truth lies behind it. In terms of Sangwoo "loving" Bum, I could argue that it may have started with Bum's love confession, "I love you" (which can also tie back into Bum sharing similarities with his mother, who in Sangwoo's twisted childhood was probably the only person to say that to him). I'm not saying that Bum's love proposal was enough to make Sangwoo feel something, but again, it's probably something that has set him apart from the other victims, who I doubt said they loved him (in a confession standpoint, anyways). Bum being set apart has its perks for him, I think. Once you're set apart, you're looked at as more of a person, versus just a human, if that makes sense. I think Sangwoo is seeing Bum in a different lighting, and in doing so, I think would make it harder for him to kill, or maim him than he finds with other victims.

And going back to the mom thing again real quick...I've had another thought come to mind. I think it could be possible that Sangwoo is feeling protective of Bum because of his mother (protective?? I know, hear me out). Sangwoo shows protectiveness for Bum, even if sometimes he seems twisted towards him. He bathes him daily, clothes him, washes his clothes, provides medication and bandages to the best of his abilities, and will even kiss wounds (he caused some wounds, I know, but it's possible he feels regret), he gives him a rolling chair so he can move around the house without crawling (which, I believe is because seeing Bum crawl on the floor fills him with regret, especially since Bum's legs were broken before they've formed their connection), he gets him crutches so he can walk, he cares enough to ask Bum that he understands why they can't go to the hospital, he invites him to eat with him, he brings Bum out of the basement when he complains that it is cold and damp, he carries Bum and helps him down the stairs, and he even takes Bum outside on "dates" with him. So, back to his mother. Being in a situation with an abusive father/husband, it was clear that Sangwoo and his mom stuck together. They ate at their table together, and loved each other. I'd like to believe that after an incident with his father hurting his mother, Sangwoo was there to protect her as best as he could. Because Bum reminds him of his mother, he has something to protect again (he even saved Bum from being hanged when he called out "save me").

That's the emotional side of his "love" anyways. There's a sexual side I've considered, and I could be way off here, but I think sexually Sangwoo may feel confusion with Bum, but because he mentions Bum is feminine, I think that comes into play. I think, he's interested in sexual acts with Bum on his own account (he tells Bum that he's dirty when Bum asks to give him a blowjob BUT he lets him touch it, and then later on his lead, let's Bum suck him off). He's used to sleeping with his female victims, but with Bum being his first male victim (since he killed his father), I feel like the sex aspect becomes different. He hasn't tied Bum up and had sex with him as with his females, but rather he's kissed him on the mouth (and later on, holds Bum's hand while having sex with a female. That bit gets complex, but for now I imagine that being Sangwoo's way of sharing the experience with him, or his way of expressing "yo, I still love you even though we're not the ones having sex). Maybe its because Bum has confessed love, maybe it's because Bum is a boy, or maybe it's because they have some form of emotional connection. Maybe it's a combination of those. But for some reason, sexually, Bum is different than anyone else.

I think it may be safe to say as well that he /could/ love Bum because when he had thought Bum had ran away, he gets most upset (and punches a pole) after an image of kissing Bum passionately on the lips comes to his mind... and then the blow job flash back... and then the oops-I-got-cum-on-my-hands-and-on-the-floor flashback... all their most intimate moments come back to him, because he thinks he has lost that. That's what he's concerned for over the idea of his murderous actions being found out. Besides... he even says that after Bum is dead "this irritating feeling will go away". Well, pal. That feeling may be love. (AND can we forget "let's stay together"?)

Some of you may be thinking "she's rationalizing this insanely abusive relationship for the ship", but I'll state here that firstly, I haven't mentioned shipping it, and secondly, I'm rationalizing their actions in terms of how I think their thoughts work. I don't condone this.

(Also, because of the above scene mentioned, I want to side track to the woman whom is being choked. My friend had mentioned she thought it was Sangwoo choking his mother. I had thought it was a flashback of Sangwoo seeing his father choke his mother... I don't what it was in reality, maybe not even his mother at all... but thoughts??)

Another thing we've discussed is Bum's confusion on wanting to be saved. He ran into the streets screaming and crying for a savior at one moment, but hid from a cop who was looking to save him at the next. Maybe hiding from the cop was to save his and the cop's life in case Sangwoo was strong enough to take them both, maybe he hid to protect Sangwoo, or maybe he hid because he felt like he was supposed to hide. He's quite back and forth on running away or staying put. I think this is partially due to the fact that, as mentioned earlier, he's in love with Sangwoo, or at least that's what the obsessive side of his brain thinks. This probably comes to explain the desire to protect him, or the desire to stay at Sangwoo's side. Especially with Sangwoo's recent friendly behavior (which resembles the image Bum had of Sangwoo a little more).

I suppose I'll mention again that I don't have a real purpose in this. It may not even make sense, I mostly just wanted to type my thoughts out in order to organize them. I think ultimately I was looking to further understand the story on a psychological level, rather than thinking it was simply a kidnapping and torture story. And it is more than that, for sure (plus I'll admit it's "fun" to try to find reason behind their actions...)