#i linked the referenced choreography i used i did NOT come up with that all on my own lmao

[bittersweet-mojo]

HAPPY SECRET SAMOL @mariusperkins !!!

I was so incredibly thrilled to be assigned to you these have been a labour of (many many hours) of love! For the rest of you who didn't get to read my email I give you Lye Lychen and Es, swing dancing and sneaking off from a party you're supposed to be infiltrating you guys!!!

[unpopularwiththepopulace]

Chicago at Long Beach, LA, 1992: A Story of Bebe Neuwirth, Choreography, Riots, Revivals, and Relevance

Recently and rather excitingly, more footage made its way to YouTube of the 1992 version of Chicago staged at Long Beach in LA, featuring Bebe Neuwirth as Velma and Juliet Prowse as Roxie.

Given its increased accessibility and visibility, this foregrounds the chance to talk about the show, explore some of its details, and look at the part it might have played as a contribution to the main ‘revival’ of Chicago in 1996 – which has given the show one of the most resonant and highly enduring legacies seen within the theatre ever.

This Civic Light Opera production at Long Beach was staged in 1992, four years before the ‘main’ revival made its appearance at Encores! or had its subsequent Broadway transfer, and it marked the first time a major revival of Chicago had been seen since the original 1975 show disappeared nearly 15 years previously.

This event is of particular significance given its position as the first step in the chain of events that make up part of this ‘new Chicago’ narrative and the resultant entire multiple-decade spanning impact of the show hereafter.

But for all of its pivotal status, it’s seldom discussed or remembered anywhere near as much as it should be.

This may be in part because of how little video or photographic record has remained in easily accessible form to date, and also because it only played for around two weeks in the first place. As such, it is a real treat on these occasions to get to see such incredible and unique material that would otherwise have been lost forever after such a brief existence some 30 years ago.

This earlier revival of the show still feels like what we have come to identify “Chicago” as in modern comprehension of the musical, most principally because the choreography was also done by Ann Reinking. As with the 1996 production, this meant dance was done “very much in the master’s style” – or Mr Bob Fosse.

The link below is time-stamped to Bebe and Juliet performing ‘Hot Honey Rag’. As one of the most infamous numbers in Broadway history, it’s undoubtedly a dance that has been watched many times over. But never before have I seen it done quite like this.

https://youtu.be/4HKkwtRE-II?t=2647

‘Hot Honey Rag’ was in fact formerly called ‘Keep It Hot’, and was devised by Fosse as “a compendium of all the steps he learned as a young man working in vaudeville and burlesque—the Shim Sham, the Black Bottom, the Joe Frisco, ‘snake hips,’ and cooch dancing”, making it into the “ultimate vaudeville dance act” for the ultimate finale number.

Ann would say about her choreographical style in relation to Fosse, “The parts where I really deviate is in adding this fugue quality to the numbers. For better or worse, my style is more complicated.” The ‘complexity’ and distinctness she speaks of is certainly evident in some of the sections of this particular dance. There are seemingly about double the periodicity of taps in Bebe and Juliet’s Susie Q sequence alone. One simply has to watch in marvel not just at the impressive synchronicity and in-tandem forward motion, but now also at the impossibly fast feet. Other portions that notably differ from more familiar versions of the dance and thus catch the eye are the big-to-small motion contrast after the rising ‘snake hips’ section, and all of the successive goofy but impeccably precise snapshot sequence of arm movements and poses.

More focus is required on the differences and similarities of this 1992 production compared against the original or subsequent revival, given its status and importance as a bridging link between the two.

The costumes in 1975 were designed by Patricia Zipprodt (as referenced in my previous post on costume design), notably earning her a Tony Award nomination. In this 1992 production, some costumes were “duplications” of Zipprodt’s originals, and some new designs by Garland Riddle – who added a “saucy/sassy array” in the “typical Fosse dance lingerie” style. It is here we begin to see some of the more dark, slinkiness that has become so synonymous with “Chicago” as a concept in public perception.

The sets from the original were designed by Tony Walton – again, nominated for a Tony – and were reused with completeness here. This is important as it shows some of the original dance concepts in their original contexts, given that portions of the initial choreography were “inextricably linked to the original set designs.” This sentiment is evident in the final portion of ‘Cell Block Tango’, pictured and linked at the following time-stamp below, which employs the use of mobile frame-like, ladder structures as a scaffold for surrounding movements, and also a metaphor for the presence of jail cell bars.

https://youtu.be/4HKkwtRE-II?t=741

Defining exactly how much of the initial choreography was carried across is an ephemeral line. Numbers were deemed “virtually intact” in the main review published during the show’s run from the LA Times – or even further, “clones” of the originals. It is thought that the majority of numbers here exhibit greater similarity to the 1975 production than the 1996 revival, except for ‘Hot Honey Rag’ which is regarded as reasonably re-choreographed. But even so, comparing against remaining visible footage of Gwen Verdon and Chita Rivera from the original, or indeed alternatively against Bebe and Annie later in the revival, does not present an exact match to either.

This speaks to the adaptability and amorphousness of Fosse-dance within its broader lexicon. Fosse steps are part of a language that can be spoken with subtle variations in dialect. Even the same steps can appear slightly different when being used in differing contexts, by differing performers, in differing time periods.

It also speaks to some of the main conventions of musical theatre itself. Two main principles of the genre include its capacity for fluidity and its ability for the ‘same material’ to change and evolve over time; as well as the fact comparisons and comprehensions of shows across more permanent time spans are restricted by the availability of digital recordings of matter that is primarily intended to be singular and live.

Which versions of the same song do you want to look at when seeking comparisons?

Are you considering ‘Hot Honey Rag’ at a performance on the large stage at Radio City Music Hall at the Tony Awards in 1997? Or on a small stage for TV shows, like the Howard Cosell or Mike Douglas shows in 1975? Or on press reel footage from 1996 on the ‘normal’ stage context in a format that should be as close to a replica as possible of what was performed in person every night?

Bebe often remarks on and marvels at Ann’s capacity to travel across a stage. “If you want to know how to travel, follow Annie,” she says. This exhibits how one feature of a performance can be so salient and notable on its own, and yet so precariously dependent on the external features its constrained to – like scale.

Thus context can have a significant impact on how numbers are ultimately performed for these taped recordings and their subsequent impact on memory. Choreography must adjust accordingly – while still remaining within the same framework of the intention for the primary live performances.

This links to Ann’s own choreographical aptitude, in the amount of times it is referenced how she subtly adapted each new version of Chicago to tailor to individual performers’ specific merits and strengths as dancers.

Ann’s impact in shaping the indefinable definability of how Chicago is viewed, loved and remembered now is not to be understated.

An extensive 1998 profile – entitled “Chicago: Ann Reinking’s musical” – explores in part some of Ann’s approaches to creating and interacting with the material across a long time span more comprehensively. Speaking specifically to how she choreographed this 1992 production in isolation, Ann would say, “I knew that Bob’s point of view had to permeate the show, you couldn’t do it without honoring his style.” In an age without digital history at one’s fingertips, “I couldn’t remember the whole show. So I choreographed off the cuff and did my own thing. So you could say it was my take on his thoughts.” Using the same Fosse vocabulary, then – “it’s different. But it’s not different.”

One further facet that was directly carried across from the initial production were original cast members, like Barney Martin as returning as Amos, and Michael O'Haughey reprising his performance as Mary Sunshine. Kaye Ballard as Mama Morton and Gary Sandy as Billy Flynn joined Bebe and Juliet to make up the six principals in this new iteration of the show.

Bebe, Gary and Juliet can be seen below in a staged photo for the production at the theatre.

The venue responsible for staging this Civic Light Opera production was the Terrace Theatre in Long Beach in Los Angeles. Now defunct, this theatre and group in its 47 years of operation was credited as providing some of “the area’s most high profile classics”. Indeed, in roughly its final 10 years alone, it staged shows such as Hello Dolly!, Carousel, Wonderful Town (with Donna McKechnie), Gypsy, Sunday in the Park with George, La Cage aux Folles, Follies, 1776, Funny Girl, Bye Bye Birdie, Pal Joey, and Company. The production of Pal Joey saw a return appearance from Elaine Stritch, reprising her earlier performance as Melba Snyder with the memorable song ‘Zip’. This she had done notably some 40 years earlier in the original 1952 Broadway revival, while infamously and simultaneously signed as Ethel Merman’s understudy in Call Me Madam as she documented in Elaine Stritch at Liberty.

Juliet Prowse appeared as Phyllis in Follies in 1990, and Ann Reinking acted alongside Tommy Tune in Bye Bye Birdie in 1991, in successive preceding seasons before this Chicago was staged.

But for all of its commendable history, the theatre went out of business in 1996 just 4 years after this, citing bankruptcy. Competition provided in the local area by Andrew Lloyd Webber and his influx of staging’s of his British musicals was referenced as a contributing factor to the theatre group’s demise. This feat I suspect Bebe would have lamented or expressed remorse for, given some of her comments in previous years on Sir Lloyd Webber and the infiltration of shows from across the pond: “I had lost faith in Broadway because of what I call the scourge of the British musicals. They've dehumanized the stage [and] distanced the audience from the performers. I think 'Cats' is like Patient Zero of this dehumanization.”

That I recently learned that Cats itself can be rationalised in part as simply A Chorus Line with ears and tails I fear would not improve this assessment. In the late ‘70s when Mr Webber noticed an increase of dance ability across the general standard of British theatre performers, after elevated training and competition in response to A Chorus Line transferring to the West End, he wanted to find a way he could use this to an advantage in a format that was reliable to work. Thus another similarly individual, sequential and concept-not-plot driven dance musical was born. Albeit with slightly more drastic lycra leotards and makeup.

But back in America, the Terrace theatre could not be saved by even the higher incidence of stars and bigger Broadway names it was seeing in its final years, with these aforementioned examples such as Bebe, Annie, Tommy, Juliet, Donna, or Elaine. The possibility of these appearances in the first place were in part attributable to the man newly in charge as the company’s producer and artistic director – Barry Brown, Tony award-winning Broadway producer. 

Barry is linked to Bebe’s own involvement with this production of Chicago, through his relationship – in her words – as “a friend of mine”.

At the time, Bebe was in LA filming Cheers, when she called Barry from her dressing room. Having been working in TV for a number of years, she would cite her keenness to find a return to the theatre, “[wanting] to be on a stage so badly” again. The theatre is the place she has long felt the most sense of ease in and belonging for, frequently referring to herself jokingly as a “theatre-rat” or remarking that it is by far the stage that is the “medium in which I am most comfortable, most at home, and I think I'm the best at.”

Wanting to be back in that world so intensely, she initially proposed the notion of just coming along to the production to learn the parts and be an understudy. Her desire to simply learn the choreography alone was so strong she would say, “You don’t have to pay me or anything!”

She’d had the impetus to make the call to Barry in the first place only after visiting Chita Rivera at her show in LA with a friend, David Gibson. At the time, the two did not know each other that well. Bebe had by this point not even had the direct interaction of taking over in succession for Chita in Kiss of the Spider Woman in London. This she would do the following year, with Chita guiding her generously through the intricacies of the Shaftesbury Theatre and the small, but invaluable, details known only to Chita that would be essential help in meeting stage cues and playing Aurora.

Bebe had already, however, stepped into Chita’s shoes multiple times, as Anita in West Side Story as part of a European tour in the late ‘70s, or again in a Cleveland Opera Production in 1988; and additionally as Nickie in the 1986 Broadway revival of Sweet Charity – both of which were roles Chita had originated on stage or screen. In total, Velma would bring the tally of roles that Bebe and Chita have shared through the years to four, amongst many years also of shared performance memories and friendship.

They may not have had a long history of personal rather than situational connections yet when Bebe visited her backstage at the end of 1991, but Chita still managed to play a notable part in the start of the first of Bebe’s many engagements with Chicago.

After Bebe hesitantly relayed her idea, Chita told her, “You should call! Just call!”

So call Bebe did. One should listen to Chita Rivera, after all.

Barry Brown rang her back 10 minutes later after suggesting the idea to Ann Reinking, who was otherwise intended to be playing Velma. The response was affirmative. “Oh let her play the part!”, Annie had exclaimed. And so begun Bebe’s, rather long and very important, journey with Chicago.

In 1992, this first step along the road to the ‘new Chicago’ was well received.

Ann Reinking with her choreography was making her first return to the Fosse universe since her turn in the 1986 Sweet Charity revival. Diametrically, Rob Marshall was staring his first association with Fosse material in providing the show’s direction – many years before he would go on to direct the subsequent film adaptation also. Together, they created a “lively, snappy, smarmy” show that garnered more attention than had been seen since the original closed.

“Bob Fosse would love [this production],” it was commended at the time, “Especially the song-and-dance performance of Bebe Neuwirth who knocks everyone’s socks off.” High praise.

Bebe was also singled out for her “unending energy”, but Juliet too received praise in being “sultry and funny”. Together, the pair were called “separate but equal knockouts” and an “excellent combination”.

Juliet was 56 at the time, and sadly died just four years later. Just one year after the production though, Juliet was recorded as saying, “In fact, we’re thinking of doing it next year and taking it out on the road.”

Evidently that plan never materialised. But it is interesting to note the varied and many comments that were made as to the possibility of the show having a further life.

Bebe at the time had no recollection that the show might be taken further, saying “I didn’t know anything about that.” Ann Reinking years later would remark “no one seemed to think that the time was necessarily ripe for a full-blown Broadway revival.” While the aforementioned LA Times review stated in 1992 there were “unfortunately, no current plans” for movement, it also expressed desire and a call to action for such an event. “Someone out there with taste, money and shrewdness should grab it.”

The expression that a show SHOULD move to Broadway is by no means an indication that a show WILL move. But this review clearly was of enough significance for it to be remembered and referenced by name by someone who was there when it came out at the time, Caitlin Carter, nearly 30 years later. Caitlin was one of the six Merry Murderesses, principally playing Mona (or Lipschitz), at each of this run, Encores!, and on Broadway. She recalled, “Within two days, we got this rave review from the LA Times, saying ‘You need to take the show to Broadway now!’” The press and surrounding discussions clearly created an environment in which “there was a lot of good buzz”, enough for her to reason, “I feel like it planted seeds… People started to think ‘Oh we need to revive this show!’”

The seeds might have taken a few years to germinate, but they did indeed produce some very successful and beautiful flowers when they ultimately did.

In contrast with one of the main talking points of the ‘new Chicago’ being its long performance span, one of the first things I mentioned about this 1992 iteration was the rather short length of its run. It is stated that previews started on April 30th, for an opening on May 2nd, with the show disappearing in its final performance on May 17th. Less than a fleeting 3 weeks in total.

Caitlin Carter discussed the 1992 opening on Stars in the House recently. It’s a topic of note given that their opening night was pushed back from the intended date by two days, meaning Ann Reinking and Rob Marshall had already left and never even saw the production. “The night we were supposed to open in Long Beach was the Rodney King riots.”

Local newspapers at the time when covering the show referenced this large and significant event, by noting the additional two performances added in compensation “because of recent interruptions in area social life.”

It sounds rather quaint put like that. In comparison, the horror and violence of what was actually going on can be statistically summated as ultimately leaving 63 people dead, over 2300 injured, and more than 12,000 having been arrested, in light of the aftermath of the treatment faced by Rodney King. Or more explicitly, the use of excessive violence against a black man at police hands with videotaped footage.

A slightly later published review wrote of how this staging was thus “timely” – in reference to an observed state of “the nation’s moral collapse”.

‘Timeliness’ is a matter often referenced when discussing why the 1996 revival too was of such success. The connection is frequently made as to how this time, the revival resonated with public sentiment so strongly – far more than in 1975 when the original appeared – in part because of the “exploding headlines surrounding the OJ Simpson murder case”. The resulting legal and public furore around this trial directly correlates with the backbone and heart of the musical itself.

I'm writing this piece now at the time of the ongoing trial to determine the verdict of George Floyd’s murder, another black man suffering excessive and ultimately fatal violence at police hands with videotaped footage.

I think the point is that this is never untimely. And that the nation is seldom not in some form of ‘moral collapse’, or facing events that have ramifications to do with the legal system and are emotionally incendiary on a highly public level.

Which perhaps is why Chicago worked so well not just in 1996, but also right up to the present day.

Undoubtedly, we live in a climate where the impact of events is determined not just by the events themselves, but also the manner in which they are reported in the media. Events involving some turmoil and public outrage at the state and outcome of the legal system are not getting any fewer or further between. But the emphasis on the media in an increasingly and unceasingly digital age is certainty only growing.

[klvbxlove]

omg (kanji & yu x gn! reader)

a/n: Y’ALL OH MY GOD. i’ve been wanting to write this for the longest time but never got the chance to ‘cause i was busy with other stuff. but now, i finally got to it! although i had to stop on a few occasions ‘cause writing some of the scenes had me blushing LMAO (PLEASE I JUST WANT YU AND KANJI TO BE REAL WTF). oh yeah, and just to clarify, i don’t own the song featured in this drabble! it’s actually pretty catchy (and spicy *WINK WONK*), y’all should listen to it. it’s a shame it’s not available on spotify or any other music streaming services, tho 😭

(GOD DAMN IT I WISH THERE WAS MORE YU X KANJI GIFS ON TUMBLR *CRIES*)

reader type: gender-neutral

reader specification(s): none

genre(s): lime, romance

trigger warning(s): slightly suggestive content

summary: on a hot summer day, while cleaning your living room, you decided to dance to one of your favorite songs-- and having sinful images of yu and kanji in your mind. 

song(s) featured: “omg” by itano tomomi

audio link 

lyrics (romaji & english translation)

lyrics (kanji & kana)

word count: 1.6k words

♡ ♡ ♡ (ꈍᴗꈍ)ε｀*) ♡ ♡ ♡

key:

(e/c) = eye color (n/n) = nickname (y/n) = your name

♡ ♡ ♡ (ꈍᴗꈍ)ε｀*) ♡ ♡ ♡

   君もカレも魅力的、OMG!    誰か一人なんて 選べない    試してみる? tasty    急に奪って今すぐに kiss me

   The song hadn’t gone into a minute, yet you could already feel your hips swaying to the beat. You weren’t even sure if you were cleaning your living room right now. It was more of you being distracted by the catchiness of the song and just wanting to dance. Every once in a while, you would lip-sync to the lyrics. Pretending you were performing it on stage. 

   But this was the type of song you would only perform for your boyfriends, Yu and Kanji. A private show, if you could put it that way. 

   ふと目が行く    その手つきにもう夢中    肩のラインも SO GOOD    頭の中は君と make love make love

   Due to the summer heat coming from outside, you turned on a fan to cool down. You could feel the air flowing your body and brushing up against your clothes (you were wearing a light, oversized shirt and one of Yu’s boxers. What? They were comfy!). But despite that, you could still feel some sweat rolling down. 

   You weren’t so sure if you were hallucinating, but you swore you saw Yu and Kanji in the same room as you. Shirtless. It was almost as if they were there (or it might be just the heat). 

   With their backs towards you, you watched as they were also cleaning the living room and getting more work done than you were. They were also affected by the heat, as there was sweat dripping off of them. At one point, Yu sighed and ran one of his hands through his gray hair as if he was getting tired already. You couldn’t blame him. 

   You also couldn’t blame yourself for subconsciously licking your lips. You really couldn’t get enough of your boyfriends. But the fact you got two of them instead of just one? You almost wanted to consider yourself lucky to be with such amazing men. 

   止まらない 想像が 伝わったら いいのに

   Oh, yes. Your imagination has gone crazy over Yu and Kanji at random points. 

   This song spoke to you a lot!

   こっちもそっちも捨てがたいの OMG!    早く早く私捕まえて    胸の内は nasty    シャイだから言えないの feel me

   You didn’t find any point in continuing to clean the living room. There would always be another time for you to finish up. So instead, you let your body move to the beat of the song. You had memorized the choreography of the song out of pure boredom, and needless to say, it was your go-to dance. Especially when you couldn’t get Yu and Kanji out of your mind. 

   You almost didn’t want anyone to know about how nasty your mind was when it came to your boyfriends. Your imaginations belonged to them. 

   uh yea yea    ah uh yea yea    ah uh yea yea    ah... oh, OMG! ×2

   You waited for the perfect moment for the beat drop. 

   And then...

   OMG! ×2

   It came. 

   You loved this part of the song. You felt a sense of boldness flow through your body as you dropped to the floor and continued the dance. Your imagination must’ve gotten to you, but you were seeing steam emitting from the room. 

   And it just so happened that Yu and Kanji were sitting on the couch, watching you (They must’ve decided that cleaning would save for another day, as well). From a glance, you saw Yu smirking at you. Meanwhile, Kanji’s face was turning a light pink while he bit his bottom lip. 

  Feeling their eyes on you sent a tingling sensation in you. And it flew throughout your body when you laid on your back and lifted your legs in the air as you continued the dance (**). 

   At this moment, you felt free. So free. It almost felt like you were wearing nothing but your undergarments. The air conditioner was able to hit all the spots on your body, cooling you down. But still, it wasn’t enough to stop the heat that you were feeling. And it wasn’t because of the summer weather. 

   顔がタイプ uh uh    なんだか気も合う uh uh    知性的なのも    他の誰よりも like that, like that

   Eventually, you got back up on your feet, but your body was still moving. All you could think about was how badly you wanted Yu and Kanji. Nothing else was your concern at this moment. You had no idea how long you could handle the wait for them, considering how they were still hanging out with Yosuke and Teddie.  

   2人きりだと 時が速いの    秘密のお泊まりあるかも

   And considering how it was still afternoon, you could have your boyfriends all to yourself for the next few hours. The excitement was getting to you--

   “Well, well. What a nice surprise we came home to see. Right, Kanji?” 

   ‘OH SHIT.’

   You swore your head could’ve been snapped off your neck by how fast you whipped it. Turning your head around, you saw your boyfriends standing in front of you. Yu had an amused look on his face, and Kanji was flustered. Almost similar to how they looked when you imagined them watching you dance. 

   “U-Uh, yeah. I guess,” Kanji mumbled as he swallowed a lump in his throat. He was already feeling something in the down area of his body, and there was no way he could ever try to hide it. At least only you would be able to see it. And Yu, too. Thank the heavens that Yosuke and Teddie (or God forbid, the girls!) weren’t there to see it, though!

   Meanwhile, you stood there in your spot, not moving a single inch of your body. You certainly weren’t expecting your boyfriends to be home that quick. Let alone catching you dancing to quite a spicy song. Were you embarrassed about it, though? No, it was mostly you being in shock. 

   And it wasn’t as if you wanted them to catch you.

   Yu chuckled. “Those were some interesting moves you got there, (Y/N),” he said. You felt like your eyes were about to widen from how his voice sounded (there was some lust behind it). “Never knew you were quite a good dancer until just now. Another nice surprise to discover, too.” 

   “It’s nothing, really,” you smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of your neck. “I just got obsessed with this song and wanted to learn the dance.”

   “We’re still not gonna deny that you’re good at it, though,” Kanji pointed out. At this point, he was surprised he didn’t get a nosebleed after watching all of that. His eyes were practically glued onto you as he watched your body move to every beat of the song. 

   How you didn’t notice him and Yu walking into the house in the middle of your dancing session, Kanji didn’t know. Either way, he couldn’t let out the noise when he watched you get on the floor. 

   Unbeknownst to you, Kanji’s imagination also went crazy. 

   “Aww, thanks!” you smiled, then bit the inside of your cheek. A habit you did whenever you felt flustered. 

   “But don’t you think you’d be good at dancing upstairs in our bed?” Yu’s voice suddenly deepened. It almost sounded like he growled. 

   ‘Wait, what--’

   “E-Eh?” you tilted your head. 

   “Because I certainly think so,” the gray-haired male said before he slowly walked up to you and grabbed you by the waist, pulling you close. When you looked at him, he had a sensual look on his face. A look that always sends butterflies in your stomach.

   You almost didn’t have the time to make a noise of surprise when Yu suddenly locked his lips onto yours. Your (E/C) eyes widened. But it wasn’t long before you gave back into the kiss. No matter how many times you’ve done this, you could never get enough of how Yu was a great kisser. It always had you melting. 

   In just a matter of seconds, Kanji walked up behind you and began to place kisses on the back of your neck. At the sudden touch, you let out another small gasp. Yu found the opportunity to slip his tongue in your mouth. He also slipped one of his hands under your shirt and caressed it using his thumb. You let out a small moan at his touch, and Yu smirked into the kiss. 

   But it certainly didn’t help (or you know what? Maybe it did!) when Kanji subtly sneaked his hand under your boxers and began to play with the hem of your underwear. 

   Oh God, you felt like the steam was starting to come back inside the room. For all you knew, you were probably in heaven. But this was sinful.

   Yu eventually pulled away, and a string of saliva followed. With the smirk still plastered on his lips, he whispered, “I think it’s time we take (Y/N) upstairs to our bedroom and have them perform just for us. Isn’t that right, Kanji?” 

   Said boy looked at Yu and had the same smirk. “Hell yeah.”

   And before you could say anything, Kanji lifted you into his arms and carried you bridal-style. It prompted you to let out a squeal. 

   Yu chuckled. “That’s a cute noise you made there, (N/N). Although, you’re cute all the time. And don’t go denying it.” 

   ‘Oh, God damn it!’

   “Damn right, they’re always cute!” Kanji agreed.

   Yu nodded. “But enough talk about that. How about we head up to our room now? And don’t worry, (Y/N). We’ll take real good care of you, we promise.” 

   A clenching feeling was building up in your stomach, but there was also some excitement. So with a nod and a flustered face, you allowed Kanji to carry you upstairs with Yu following behind the both of you. You had the feeling you were going to be sweating a lot in the next few hours. Again, not just because of the hot temperature. 

   Not that you minded.

-

(**) if you watch the music video for the song and go to the 1:37 timestamp, you’ll see the move i’m referencing (i’m not a dancer so i’m not good at explaining dance moves LOL). here’s the link if you wanna watch it. but as an fyi, it’s quite short.  

[finleyjayne]

Break a Leg Chapter 3: Take Two

A/N: Thank you for waiting so long for this chapter. There were so many choices that had to be made as to where I wanted to take this. I decided (with the help of my best friend who is so done with this story that it’s not even funny) that this was the most honest option. Let me know what you think! Also all songs referenced are linked via their names/first reference if unnamed.

Series Summary: After your accident, everything in your life changed. Your shared dream of being on Broadway with your best friend, Amanda, was over. But just because YOU don’t think you want the same things in life doesn’t mean that your friend won’t see through you. Taking matters into her own hands, you end up at an audition you’re sure that you’ll fail since SHIELD Theater Company is known the world over for typecasting. And you don’t fit any of your typical actress types. Little do you know that the company’s new writer - nihilistic, pessimistic, and resident drunk; Bucky Barnes- is looking for someone out of their normal choices.

Series Warnings: Guys, this is based on my own experiences within the Acting community after gaining weight and height after an accident. There will be fat-shaming, mentions of eating disorders, unhealthy expectations, unhealthy coping mechanisms, also like bias based on looks.

Chapter 1 | Previous Chapter | Masterlist

Warnings for this chapter include but are not limited to: Swearing, Angst, eating disorder (if you squint), unrealistic audition process (because I can), PTSD dreams, Anxiety attack, Hurt/Comfort, dance injury descriptions, Amanda almost getting her face punched.

Word Count: 2,336

The familiar feel of gathered tulle whispered around your legs as you float across the stage. Your feet burn with the tiny movements that pushed you across the stage. The choreography was new, but you already knew it by heart. After all, you have been dreaming of playing this role ever since you had seen the show all those years ago. The steps sped, and as you approached the leap of faith, That leap would pull on the fly lines. You knew something was wrong. There was the slightest of whirrs from the top left pulley, pulling you up short.

"Why did you stop? You have the fly lines on, It's step, turn, turn, and leap." Your director yelled from the darkened house.

"There is something wrong with the left pulley." You say back. "It's making a funny noise."

"That's just the way of pulleys, Y/N. Let's run it from the top of the number, this time with the fly."

"I really don't think so," you mutter as you take your place in the side wings. Amanda meets you there. She hands you a water bottle, which you sip from as the interlude plays.

"You can do it. Trust yourself, Y/N."

"I trust myself just fine. The person I don't trust is the rigging guy who is currently snogging his girlfriend instead of paying attention to his job."

"It's going to be fine, Y/N." She says, rolling her eyes and pushing you towards the stage for your cue.

As the dance progresses, you stop focusing on the steps and just feel the movement. You really were the fairy: light, agile, and completely ethereal. You take the two turns perfectly and leap off the stage and into the audience. You feel yourself relax as you swing above the seats, being lifted higher until you were suspended in the center of the stage. You continued to dance, then something went wrong, there was a hard yank from that left pulley. It unbalanced you, pulling taut as the secondary line went slack. As more of your weight was given to it, a loud grinding and a high-pitched ping echoed over the sounds of the music as you fell to the stage floor. Before anyone can do anything, you fall.

Your jolt out of your sleep suddenly, an invisible weight pressing on your chest. Your heartbeat is blaring in your ears as you fight to breathe. Shivers raking up and down your body. Unable to move even the tips of your fingers as tears blur your perception of your dim room. After what seems to be hours of laying there suffocating, your breathing turns into sobs. You are finally able to move, though, as you roll onto your side, trying to curl into the fetal position, a scream echos into the silence. Your busted up leg sends phantom pains through you, cramping and pulling with unnatural tension. It was a charlie horse from hell, and you rationally knew that most of it was fake.

Amanda runs in a few seconds later with a pink aluminum baseball bat, looking around for the disturbance, when she finds none she turns to you. "Y/N, what is it?"

You just stared at her, unable to move as phantom pain shot up and down your leg. Memories of blood and bone hide behind your eyelids, torturing you with every blink.

She stares at you for a few minutes before slowly setting the bat down. and coming to hold you. "It was the dream again, wasn't it." She cradles your head, maneuvering you as carefully as she can into her arms. "Hush now, it's okay. We are here, that is the past. You don't ever have to fly again. Rehearsals will all be on the ground for your new show. All you have to do is a little choralography. It will be fine. You won't get hurt."

Her reassuring calm, paired with her arms stroking up and down your back, are a balm to your terrified mind. Your sobs ebb. Taking a few deep breaths, you sit yourself up, pulling away from her, immediately feeling guilty for waking her this early. "thank you, 'Manda. It really means a lot."

"It's the least I can do when my best friend is struggling. Now, why don't you take a nice hot shower? I'll get breakfast started, and then we can head over to Rijah's before your audition today."

"Sure," you say noncommittally, you didn't really feel like eating, but you knew it would make her feel better to see you fed before she sends you to the sharks again. "Would you like to play live-action barbie today? I mean, you did say that today's audition would be special," you ask her on her way to the kitchen.

"I think you should wear that cute new swing dress—the one with the pink halter and the black skirt. Go light on the make-up. Doe eyes," she called from the kitchen.

"Okay. Are we going to be meeting with our agent today or is this another one of those, he gave you a list and expects us both to be there sort of deal?" You ask, wincing as you try to distract yourself from the pain as you rub the cramps out of your leg.

"Well, it's kinda just one audition today. I know you don't want to go back, but I was promised by Steve that if you show up, they will listen to you--"

At that, you were up and in the kitchen. Staring your friend down in your scanty sleepwear. "Please don't tell me that I'm auditioning for Stark's Theater again. I mean, he already kicked me to the curb once. What makes you think that he won't show up just to kick me out again?" You sneer, half-naked, and ready to punch her in her too pretty face.

"It's not Stark's theater troupe anymore, he has taken a back seat this year, leaving Miss Potts to handle more of it while he moves into the movie industry. You will be fine. Like I said, Steve has been nagging me all year for your contact details so he could offer you a personal invitation. I told him that you would go if you wanted. I mean, I'm still going to make you go with me to the building. Remember, you promised that after last year, you wouldn't pass up a chance to sing for anyone. Not anymore. Especially with your boss being as chill as he is."

The fight drains from your shoulders as she uses your own words against you. You are still annoyed that she is taking you to an audition for SHIELD, again, though. Stomping back to your bathroom, you slam the door. "Why do my friends always take me at my word?" you ask yourself as you hang your head over the sink basin. Taking a few more deep breaths, you push down your new-formed audition anxiety.

Fixing yourself up and packing a set of exercise clothes for your rehearsal later, as well as your repertoire binder, resume, and pair of ballet slippers. It hadn't taken long to get into something after reapplying yourself. Even though the show you were in at the moment was a two-day ballet in the park for little kids. But it was something, and it paid enough to put it on your resume.

You hurried in the shower, letting the steam take away more of the tension from your body as you scrubbed yourself. As the water starts running clear of bubbles, you close your eyes, envisioning an alternative ending to your dream. In your new version, Bucky, your unconventional knight in shining army, that handsome man who had come to your rescue all those months ago, comes and catches you before you are flown too high. He takes your hand, pulling you close, his breath whispering across your face as his blue-grey eyes stare into yours. He leans forward, your lips part… Amanda is shouting from the other side of the door that breakfast was ready before you finished the thought.

With a different kind of sigh, you pull yourself out of the cooling water, and back into real life.

Amanda and Elijah have once again outdone themselves with their song choice for you. You couldn't help but laugh as they put their top three options in front of you, Better from Little Women, If You Knew My Story from Bright Star, and I'm a Star from Smash.

"So what's the cut time Amanda?" you ask, paging through the three songs.

"They want the whole thing." Amanda and Elijah said in unison. Amanda looking at you with barely withheld excitement, and 'Rijah with his usual sophomanic way.

"They want the whole song? or they want all the different cuts prepared so they can choose?" You couldn't believe that they would want a whole three-minute song. That just seems overboard.

"The whole song. Steve asked for it personally. " She said, smiling, "This is going to be it, Y/N! This is going to be it! We are finally going to be in an acting company together! I can feel it! Now sing the songs. Let's see which one will fit best!"

Your heart beats fast in your chest. The whole song, they wanted the entire song. No one wants the complete song. Sometimes they don't even want the entire song at a callback. You couldn't help but stare openmouthed at your best friend. What exactly was going on today? You hadn't felt this many emotions in a single day since last year.

Before you can really contemplate which god had decided to smile in your direction, Elijah starts playing the introduction for the first few bars of Bright Star. Even then, Elijah has to repeat the intro twice before Amanda finally pinched you back into the moment. Immediately you jumped into it. Hazily stumbling through the first two measures before Elijah stopped playing.

He looked at you, annoyed. "Y/N, if you ain't gunna sing, don't pretend like it."

You shook yourself at the reprimand. "I'm sorry. If I get to sing a whole song, can we do something else? Better is an excellent power song, but it is very repetitive. I wanna give them a show. Something that will wow them. But I don't want to give off the vibe that I am still butt-hurt over last year. I want to show them I can take the initiative and work hard."

Elijah smirked, "Okay, what about weekly volcano press? It has some of the same stuff, and kinda rounds out what she did to improve. Also, you can play with all of your different character voices."

You give him a funny look, "What do you mean? And isn't that song like 8 minutes long?"

"You know what I mean. Don't act like I haven't been paying attention to you over the last three years! You sing with different timbres and weights for each character when you are helping Amanda with her practice. Sometimes I feel like I need to check and make sure you aren't switching out your vocal cords for every character."

"Elijah is right! Here! Sheetmusic! She places her tablet on the piano. And it can be a test on Steve's word. If they don't stop you, you know for sure that Steve will keep his words as a director."

You tilt your head back and forth, deliberating, "I don't really want to be petty Amanda."

"Y/N, when in all the years I have known you have you ever chosen not to be petty?" Amanda says, arms crossed over her chest, hip cocked.

"To you never, to everybody else, I try to be considerate more than petty," you meeting her attitude with sincerity.

"Suuure." Elijah and Amanda share an eyeroll.

"Whatever. If you really think that this song would be best, then I will take your advice. However, with my track record, it will end up blowing up in my face," you resign with a sigh looking over Elijah's shoulder as you scan through the score.

"Don't give me that Bullshit, Y/N/N. You will do fine. It's not like I haven't watched you play around with this song. You could probably do it in your sleep." Amanda gave you one of her signature I-know-you-know-you-can-do-this looks. Taking her phone out and pointing it at you. "Now, sing the damn song!"

With a sigh, you straighten back up. You knew they wouldn't let it go. "Fine, but if this becomes a repeat of last year. I will reevaluate our friendship status. Lead the way, Elijah."

Amanda hadn't been lying when she said that you had the song on lock. You breezed through the voice changes. Flipping octaves, effortlessly changing registers, and adapting tonalities. By the time the seven minutes were over, you were slightly winded. Your chest heaved lightly as you were filled with that after-performance high. You knew there were a few places that you hiccupped, but you had a good thirty minutes, and they were easy fixes.

Looking up at your small audience, you should have expected the smug smiles that spread on their faces. Amanda gave you a smirk. "Is there something you would like to tell me?"

"I don't want to tell you shit. But you were right. It is a fun song." You turn to an equally smug Elijah, "can we go over the troll verse again? I messed up the lyrics. And then I'd like to drill the last part where Clarisa comes back to face Braxton. Those quick transitions are a bit different than the Sutton Foster recording, and I don't want to be psyched out either way."

"Whatever I can do to help you," Elijah says, turning back to the piano.

"I'll go print the music for your rep binder." Amanda practically squealed, running out of the room, phone in hand.

You shake your head, refocusing on all of the things you needed to refine before this would work.

|Next Chapter|

Tag List: @cavillanche @buckys-broody-muffin @tossacoin2yourwitcher​ @star-spangled-beard-burn​

[haus-of-wu]

The Evolution of “It’s You”

To be honest, I’m pretty sure “It’s You” was the first SJ song I went absolutely feral on, because the beat is so damn catchy, and best of all, it’s a SAD BOP!

If you’ve ever wanted a sad dance track with emotional vibes about how even after a breakup, the one in their heart will always be you (we appreciate a gender neutral love song), then this is the one.

“It’s You” holds a special place for being the last MV that all thirteen members are involved in. It also is the song that SJ was promoting while Kibum was taking a step back from singing (Kibum doesn’t have lines and is missing from promo activities because he was already pivoting to acting at this point in time) and Han Geng was filing his lawsuit. Super turbulent times in 2009.

I was going through all the different live performances of “It’s You” for nostalgia’s sake during these social distancing hours, and I was kinda punched in the gut at how much this song means to me as an ELF. I literally took an eight-year break from following anything k-pop related, yet somehow I ended back here, with Super Junior, as a full-ass adult. I’ve grown to love all the other parts of SMTown and a bunch of other groups and artists, but SJ will always be the one for me, no matter what (okay if anyone pulls something like seungri did they’re dead to me).

"It’s You” really highlights not only SJ’s versatility, but also their growth. Super Junior’s gone through so many line-up changes over the years, and no matter what version of the line distribution and choreo they perform, “It’s You” just continues to develop like fine wine. (How is this song ELEVEN YEARS OLD)

Come through under the cut for the masterlist of performance videos, what stood out to me about each of them, and to experience the evolution yourself! :)

ALSO - please send me song requests for more “Evolution of ___” type posts bc it’s just so much fun to see how performances change and age

SBS Inkigayo (May 17th, 2009)

The first performance of “It’s You”. Ever.

Donghae’s opening vocals were sooo iffy (especially if Ryeowook or Kyuhyun were juxtaposed in the verse right after) back in the day, it’s wild - but also have the time you gotta ask whether he was sick at the time or not smh

ELF are already serving the fan chant sing-along when the song had barely been out for a week - iconic, given the fact that you literally had to buy or pirate in 2009 bc streaming wasn’t a thing

What is Leeteuk’s ponytail

I miss the simplicity of 2nd gen choreo - like the whole vibe of this was “we’re going to move to the beat and make it very obvious via formation who is singing a verse/chorus (giant hint, it’s the center)”

Dance line’s (read: Eunhyuk and Shindong’s) chest pops hitting everyone in the feels - oh wait WTF this camera completely cuts off Eunhyuk and Shindong’s chest pop duet

2009 Eunhyuk and Shindong, don’t worry, your suave vocals will come soon, just give it a few more years

Yesung’s ad-lib solos during the last chorus were done standing up and off to the side - just wait for the the drama to escalate in later performances folks

 Music Core (May 30, 2009)

(I’m maxing out on the number of embedded videos so click the header for the link)

Not much different from the one above, just better camera angles and resolution, and the first(?) time Yesung does his ad-lib solos while kneeling on the floor, bc you gotta add some d r a m a

Music Core (June 6, 2009)

(Once again, click above for the link)

Don’t really know whether this one or the performance right below came first

But Han Geng is MIA bc of...Reasons™, so Siwon takes over his opening ad-libs

Yesung’s face has a blankness to it during his verse, which is just so sad; usually he has an aura of confidence but it was completely not there during this at all (literally just compare directly to the performance above and it’s SO different)

Leeteuk’s awkwardly like smiling during his verse? (It comes off like he’s trying too hard to make it look like things are fine) But it’s not his usual camera expression so you just know something is wrong

Ironically this is probably the stablest Eunhyuk’s vocals have been during 2009 for his line

It’s really obvious that Yesung is struggling to keep it together emotionally for this performance like good god, he’s really been blank-slating a lot of this performance

And then Heechul has to come in looking depressed as fuck (which is hella valid) for his solo and nails it (while looking like his cat died - long live han j(ae) heebum)

Siwon and Yesung bump into each other as they get into the ending pose

God I really could say more about how each member performs as they cope with this but I’ll refrain

Music Core (Sometime later, 2009)

(Once again, click above for the link)

Hella sad times because Hangeng is notably missing right from the get-go again, with Yesung taking his opening ad-libs

Also Kangin is missing but I cannot remember why - kudos to Sungmin for covering (but idk why he was trying so hard to sound raspier like Kangin bc that did not work for him)

Imagine having to rearrange all the formations and reassign parts to promote on a regular music show because you’re missing two whole members

Correction, THREE whole members because Heechul was so emotionally fucked up from Hangeng leaving

Kudos to Leeteuk for being that Bitch and delivering on Heechul’s solo

Like, this was the peak of 2009 turmoil for SJ

At least Yesung had some (angry) spark in him for this performance bc I would not be able to handle another sad/blank performance from him (that shit hurted ok)

This whole performance has a simultaneous sense of muted solemnity and (angry/petulant) fighting spirit to it bc they’re all trying real hard to compartmentalize the shit that’s happening outside of this stage

I think the phrase is more like “y’all think this shit is going to break us, but it’s not” which once again goes along with the whole “SJ is a bunch of veterans that will keep going on even if the road is barren/till the end of the line” concept that they’ve painted for themselves

Super Show 5 - Seoul (2013, no 83line)

The Super Show DVDs give such superior sound quality (infinitely better when listened to with headphones). You can really hear the distinct timbre among all their voices.

eunhyuk what are those glasses/shindong what is that hair

congrats to dance/rap line on their vocal growth !!

Leeteuk and Heechul were off in the military during SS5, which means that Ryeowook and Kyuhyun got to take over Heechul’s mid-song solo. (I honestly don’t think I would have survived had Ryeowook done the ending of that part, because he has the type of voice that pierces through your heart)

yesung going feral during his solo on the platform is everything tbh

Super Show 5 - Osaka (2013, no Yesung)

It’s the same tour, so most aspects of the performance are the same. Yesung’s absence (due to mandatory service) led to some interesting change-ups, namely:

Sungmin taking his first verse with his fresh clear vocals

Heechul pulling a Heechul, appearing on the platform and then promptly disappearing - king of GHOSTING

Ryeowook being in charge of the SCREAM solo. KRY have completely different timbres, and Ryeowook’s take on this solo gives a very different feel.

Yesung’s known for having the more soulful voice, whereas Ryeowook executes in a clearer manner that comes off as more technical/didactic way

KRY comeback next month guys it’s COMING

Super Show 7 - Seoul (2017)

(You’re gonna have to jump to 3:30 bc this is a 2-in-1 vid)

SS7 brought this hit back in a completely new way.

The blindfolds, guys... p l e a s e.

The original choreo relied a lot on the number of members. Even though the choreography has completely changed, and there’s only half the number of members, the song still hits.

Once again, not shutting up about how much Eunhyuk’s vocals have improved. Like...he really was out here during the 8th album/SS7 and taking over main vocal lines. He’s developed so much control over his voice, and the result we hear is a honey-sweet smooth timbre.

Chest pop dance break reinvented but still referencing the dance line duet

You barely notice when Siwon covers Kangin’s lines and Leeteuk covers Sungmin’s during the second verse, bc this time around they actually picked members with similar timbres (i am still ?? at why sungmin tried to emulate kangin’s voice to the point where it messed up his own verse during that 2009 performance)

Shindong leading a chorus, did 2009 us ever see this coming

The fact that Yesung finally does his kneeling scream solo smack in center sends

[nervoussheepinfluencer]

Inspirational Artist Links: Performance Art

electric stimulus to face by Daito Manabe: I found this piece to be extremely interesting, and kind of crazy in a sense. It almost reminds me of a music video from Aphex Twin, in the way the music enhances what is already going on in the video, and makes it seem even more far out.

Alter Bahnhof by Janet Cardiff (This was a surreal interactive experience!): This was definitely video that was unlike anything I’ve seen before. I loved the reference to philosohpy and how it affects us daily on how we live our lives, and how the video as a whole referenced the notion that anything we see is only a snapshot of that specific location at that specific time, and something we may never truly witness again.

Bike Lanes by Casey Neistat (activism): As a bicyclist myself, this video was awesome, and a great commentary on both how police give out tickets, (how did he get ticketed for doing something that wasn’t actually illegal?) and how we can focus on on the wrong part of a topic. (If something is blocking the bike path, but it is illegal to go off of it, how can you go anywhere, especially in a city?)

Legend + Queen by Candice Breitz (cultural studies): I found both of these videos to be a testament to both the influence an artist has and the culture behind them. They fact that Breitz put hundreds of people who claimed to be heavy-duty fans of said artist through tests to get to the biggest fans, means that all of them probably know the song they are singing by heart, and therefore, they represent who in what area the music most attunes with, and I found it beautiful.

Meat Joy by Carolee Schneemann (iconic performance art piece): I’m not sure if its the quality of the film, the narrating over it that seems to repeat, the visuals, or all them together, but this video made me feel slightly uncomfortable and a bit wierded out. The whole video seems to be almost surreal,  

Vanessa Beecroft Interview + VB40 by Vanessa Beecroft (suffering + beauty):  This art project was definitely unique, especially in its ambiguity. There are so many meanings that one could take from both of these videos, that I could probably fill up pages just on what one exhibit could mean. 

The Astonished by Bill Viola: This was pretty cool in the way that it shows the evolution of emotion in the short time period it takes to show. Other than that though I didn’t really find much meaning behind it, but that in itself could be the point.

Staging by Maria Hassabi: I found this piece to be very peculiar. It was really interesting to see the artist combine choreography, human form, and art itself into its own vision, and to make meaning from all that combined.

Talking Tongues by Lisa Steele (1982): This was a really emotional and sincere piece, and it really illustrates not only the effects of abuse in a family, but also the double meanings of actions and words. There were many times in the video that clearly showed how what someone says might really be alluding to something else.

Perimeter of Square by Bruce Nauman  (iconic performance art piece): Hypnotic is the word I would use to describe this video. I guess you could say the metronome itself is hypnotic, but by using its pacing, and modifying it to go around a square, it turns the video into something that was surreal, but I can’t really define why.

Punk Prayer by Pussy Riot: I found this video of rebellion to be hilarious. The way that they quite literally invade a holy place, and directly protest the churches control, using dirty language and accusation, is honestly amazing. They do almost everything they can to stand out, and basically take over the church with “the devil’s music.”

Cut Piece by Yoko Ono(iconic performance art piece): This piece, which was almost a social experiment, was really interesting, especially in the way that anyone could come up and cut whatever piece they wanted. It was also a great way to show the boundaries, and make us question them as a whole.

Interior Scroll by Carolee Schneemann (iconic performance art piece): I found these sets of pictures set as an art piece to be very strange and intriguing. After reading the summary of the work, and what she actually did, I found it awesome, because it almost seemed like this work was made tell those who disliked her art, to “f” off, pardon my French. On top of this, the themes of femininity and sexuality were very interesting.

Bound Mouth + Foot by Kate Wingard: I found this piece to be very uncomfortable, mostly due to the sounds. The sliding, squishing, and gasping come together to make a very distinctive experience, one that is both interesting and almost unnerving.

Wholesome by Megan Carnrite: I found this video to be really gross, but interesting at the same time, considering the name and its multiple meanings in relation to eating in general.

Roll of a Woman by Javid Rezvani: This video as an art piece honestly might be my favorite on the list. There were so many connation's, not only with the dialogue but with the title as well, that it really highlights the statement that the artist is trying to make. It was also very funny.

How to Earn a Glass of Water by Dallas Scott: This was a really moving piece for me. This art clearly showcases the struggle many go through to simply afford basic necessities, using patience and resolve, to just do whatever the task and wait to be able to afford what they need.

Can Knot by Alexandra Gutierrez: I found this to be a strange and honestly touching piece. The way the artist used an almost impossibly tangled amount of cords around them to illustrate problems that we all have was really cool. And it pointed out to me that these things can resolve, they just need time to unravel.

[stopforamoment]

Margarita Challenge: Babysitting Betsy Beaumont

My Complete Masterlist

Book: The Royal Romance (After Book Three) Pairing: Bastien Lykel x OC Rinda Parks Word Count: 1,670ish    Rating: M for Language and Angst for Sweet Maxwell Author’s Note and Drabble Summary—This was meant to be written for @blackcatkita margarita challenge, and it should have just been a short drabble, but my muse took it in a completely different direction (um, I thought part of the challenge was for me to drink my own margaritas and see what total shit I came up with???). I’ll still write one with Rinda drunk on margaritas, I promise! Betsy Beaumont the Badass Bastard Bird needs a peacock sitter at the duchy, and Gladys and Bastien hate their jobs. Please click here if you’d like to read about Betsy and the Peacock Fiasco referenced in this drabble.    

Obligatory disclaimer that Pixelberry Studios owns the TRR characters and my pocketbook with those darn diamond scenes. Rinda and Betsy with all of their quirks is all mine. My apologies if Tumblr or I do something stupid when I try to post this. The keep reading link shows up on my laptop but not my phone. Ugh. Thank you @asherella-is-a-dork-3 and @bobasheebaby  for always being my sounding board! Thank you @silviasutton1989 ​ @riseandshinelittleblossom​ @tornbetween2loves @sirbeepsalot @innerpostmentality @kennaxval @strangerofbraidwood @sawyeroakleyscowboyhat @begging-for-kamilah @teamtomsato for still being a part of the journey!

Babysitting Betsy Beaumont Rinda was in her classroom, reading through the five-page, single spaced care list. There were known allergies, food preferences, comfort techniques, sleep schedule, favorite music, exercise routines . . .

Her co-teacher Laura walked in. “Is that an Instructional Education Plan for a new student? What kind of resources should we get lined up?” Rinda shook her head. “Nope. It’s for Betsy.” Laura pursed her lips, desperately trying not to laugh. “Maxwell wasn’t able to find a peacock sitter?” “Um, the peacocks are staying in the duchy with the other animals while everyone is on holiday, but Gladys doesn’t have time to deal with this shit. And Bastien promised to help, but you know how much Betsy hates his fucking guts. And Drake just laughed when Bastien asked for help, so . . . that leaves me.” Laura was bent over in silent laughter, tears streaming down her cheeks. Betsy Beaumont the Badass Bastard Bird was the bane of Bastien’s existence. The bird got aggressive at the duchy Halloween Festival last fall and started stealing food from the children. Maxwell tried to corral Betsy to protect the children’s hot dogs, but Betsy was a diabolical genius who refused to get caught—until Bastien had enough and threw a blanket over Betsy’s head and unceremoniously dumped Betsy into his cage. For the rest of the evening Betsy hissed at Bastien, making his displeasure known. Betsy Beaumont hated Bastien, and the feeling was mutual. If Maxwell wanted to see Betsy alive and well at the end of his trip, Rinda knew she needed to step in. Day One At first Bastien was professional. He offered Betsy his daily hot dog, but Betsy refused to eat it. Bastien sighed, pinching his nose. “Come on, Betsy. Rinda said it’s your favorite. Please eat it so I can leave.” Betsy hissed at Bastien and turned around, spreading his magnificent plumage with disdain. “I can’t believe I’m asking for help with this.” He messaged Rinda. “The bird won’t eat the hot dog.” Rinda messaged back. “Did you heat it up?” Bastien sighed. “No.” He went to the kitchen to microwave the hot dog, and when he returned he gently poked it through the bars of the cage. Betsy didn’t even bother moving. “What? Is it too hot? Do you need it cut up?” He grabbed his Swiss Army knife and quickly cut up the hot dog and blew on a piece before tossing it toward Betsy. He hissed at Bastien. How dare Bastien throw food at him! “Fuck you, Betsy.” Bastien messaged Rinda again. “Still not eating it. I swear I’m never going to get home.” Rinda rolled her eyes when she saw the message notification. “Did you grill it?” “The bird?” “Bastien!” “No, I’m not grilling one hot dog for a fucking bird. I microwaved it.” He paused. “What else did Maxwell say?” “Check page four, paragraph two of the peacock care guide. One grilled hot dog a day with ketchup, no mustard. And no bun. Betsy is gaining weight.” Bastien pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m going to kill Maxwell.” “Stand in line. Just come home, and I’ll stop by tomorrow to clean up the old hot dog and grill a new one. You know Gladys won’t tell on you.”

Day Two Rinda had the peacocks outside for their daily free-range time while she grilled the hot dog, but she kept a close eye on Betsy. Everything was going well until Bastien showed up with a picnic basket. “Hey Tria! I thought we could have a picnic when you’re done!” Just then Betsy saw the blanket Bastien had draped over his arm, and he rushed Bastien who flung the picnic basket at Betsy and ran like hell. For the next ten minutes Rinda was doubled over with laughter while Betsy and his siblings picked through the picnic basket. Bastien waited in the SUV, seething with anger.

Day Three “I swear to God, Tria. The bird was laughing at me.” Rinda was trying so hard not to laugh at Bastien. He was lying on his stomach while Rinda applied an ice pack to his backside. Bastien made the amateur mistake of bending over too close to Betsy’s cage, and the bird literally bit him in the ass. “Seriously. The toy was lying right in front of the cage, and in the dark I couldn’t see what it was. And when I bent down—I swear that little fucker did it on purpose.” Days Four – Ten Rinda took care of Betsy. Day Eleven Gladys invited Rinda and Bastien to the duchy for dinner to thank them for dealing with Betsy. Several pitchers of margaritas later, Gladys and Bastien were three sheets to the wind, plotting the demise of Betsy Beaumont. Day Twelve Maxwell arrived at the duchy, eager to see his peacocks. “Hi babies! Did you miss me? Drake, good to see you smiling! Sally—I love what you did with your feathers. Boris—finger guns at ya buddy! Enid—I know. I missed you too. Joel, did you help Betsy lose weight while I was gone?” Maxwell looked around. “Where’s Betsy?” Bastien strolled past. “Maxwell. It’s good to see you. Did you want some lunch while you’re here?” A huge grin lit up Maxwell’s face. “Of course! But first I have to find Betsy. Do you know where he is?” “Rinda has him. She’s been training Betsy to do that dance routine. I think he’s almost got it.” “Really? That’s great!” They passed Gladys in the great hall. She was on the phone and had a hat and two ornate peacock feathers in her hand. “Oh, I know the Queen will love having a new hat made with his feathers. Yes, of course. Good day.” Gladys ended the call with a smile. “Hello, Maxwell. Betsy lost a couple of his feathers, and I didn’t think you’d mind if I used them to design the Queen a new hat. I thought it would be a nice way to help her remember Betsy.” Maxwell’s eyes widened when he saw the feathers in her hand. “Um. Okay.” Gladys smiled. “Thank you, Maxwell. We’re going to miss Betsy so much.”

. . . . .   Maxwell dug into his lunch. “This is sooooooo delicious!!!!! I love a good burger.” Bastien cocked his head and gave Maxwell an odd smile. “Does it taste good? It isn’t too dry?” Maxwell nodded, talking with a mouthful of food. “Yeah. It’s not really juicy like the other burgers I’ve had, but it still tastes good.” Bastien hummed. “Good to know. It’s actually not a beef hamburger thought. It’s made with something a little more . . . unusual.” Just then Gladys came into the kitchen. “Bastien, do you have a moment?” “Of course, Gladys. If you’ll excuse me, Maxwell.” Bastien and Gladys talked in loud whispers, and Maxwell overheard parts of their conversation. “I just talked to Rinda, and she says it’s time. He doesn’t know yet . . . he thinks Rinda is teaching him choreography. Really? You didn’t tell him the burger is actually made from poultry?” The feathers. Gladys’ earlier comments about remembering Betsy. Bastien’s odd behavior. The loud whispers. Tears were welling in Maxwell’s eyes as he looked at the burger crumbs on his plate. “Betsy?” Bastien walked over to Maxwell and delicately cleared his throat. “Maxwell? Do you mind coming into the backyard? Rinda has something to show you.” Maxwell wiped the tears from his eyes and silently followed Bastien. Rinda was waiting outside, but there was no sign of Betsy. “Rinda. Please. Just tell me. Is he dead? Did you use him to make the burger?” Rinda looked at Maxwell like he had three heads. “The head chef? No, he’s not dead Maxwell. He’s the one who made the burger. But did you like it? I know it tastes a lot different than beef.” “Oh my God.” Maxwell turned pale and Rinda quickly stepped back. “Maxwell, please don’t puke. Please don’t puke. You know I don’t do well with that stuff. Fuck—Bastien!” Rinda was starting to gag—she was a sympathy puker. Bastien rolled his eyes. “Dammit, Maxwell. Ostrich burgers aren’t that bad. You liked it just fine before I told you it wasn’t beef.” “It wasn’t . . . Betsy? But where’s Betsy?” “Maxwell! Do you honestly think we’d butcher Betsy and make you eat him? Queen Riley wants the King to eat healthier, so the chef has been experimenting with leaner cuts of meat. Seriously? Who would eat a disgusting Betsy Burger?” Bastien was shaking his head as he ran to the patio door to grab the water bottle Gladys got for Rinda. Rinda was catching her breath and gratefully took the water from Bastien. “Thank you, Tiger. Sorry about that.” It took Rinda a moment to collect herself, and gasped when she saw the agony on Maxwell’s face. “Maxwell! Betsy’s fine. Yes, Bastien has detailed fantasies of how he’d love to kill Betsy, but he would never actually do it. Betsy’s out here because we have a surprise for you. Well, it’s from Queen Riley, and I helped a little.” They went around the corner and Maxwell squealed with joy. “Betsy! I’ve missed you. Oh my gosh! Did Riley get this for you? She did, didn’t she? Oh yes she did.” It was a small tent, and Rinda had been training Betsy to get comfortable staying in it. “See, Maxwell? Betsy really likes it. So you can use it when everyone goes camping and you want Betsy to come along. Or Betsy can sit in it if he needs shade during free-range time.”

Maxwell and Rinda were soon laughing as Betsy began showing off his choreography moves and how he loved to move in and out of his new tent. Bastien just shook his head as he walked away. “I knew I should have killed him when I had the chance.” Gladys laughed when she heard him. “Betsy or Maxwell?” “Both.”

[sometimesrosy]

Ok so apparently the 100 is building a castle set w/a fancy staircase. And theres a few small red and yellow flagposts outside w/some christmas like trees. Wtf is going on?!? Lol the first thing that popped into my head when I saw it was the King/Knight and Queen/Princess reference for Bellamy and Clarke. Lol. I have no idea what's going on in this new planet. Or is a ball really happening like everyone is saying? Maybe like a peace conference ball type thing between Eligius and Earthlings? Lol.

OK, I wish y’all would post a link or site or search term when you come yelling about new information so I know where to go look and I’m not just going off second hand information. But I did find the bts pic.

I don’t know if that’s a castle, but the flags are banners and they are norfolk pines, not christmas trees.There does seem to be some pageantry involved with the banners and landscaping, which doesn’t fit either the wilderness or the high tech aesthetic, so it’s something DIFFERENT from what we’ve seen. There’s also topiary on the balcony.

 What I find interesting is the organic details on those stairs and backdrop, and I do not understand why the center of the set is orange while the outside of it is brown, which makes it look fake. So the conclusion I am coming to is that they will add special effects to it to make it also look…idk, more organic? Some sort of vines or lights or alien unusualness.??? There’s a bluescreen at the top, but the top edges are NOT finished and have no detail, especially not like the detailed organic shapes of the railing, which looks sloppy to me and will probably be fixed in post production. Which means to me, again, special effects. Also, there’s no place for anyone to stand near that bluescreen, so it’s just background. Maybe just the two suns, but maybe more. 

TBH, I don’t understand how any of you get Bellarke out of that. 

it’s a BUILDING. It’s worldbuilding, not character arcs. I wouldn’t use this to figure out an emotional narrative. I feel like this fandom wants to make everything about a clue to ships and that isn’t what everything IS. Sometimes a building is about…the setting. It gives us some aesthetic. Some background. Maybe history, mood. Relationships are details that exist WITHIN the world they build, but the background doesn’t tell us about relationships.

To me, with the late timing of that, this to me says alien society, or the hidden part of the Eligius society. Otherwise we would have seen this early on in the filming. But no, this isn’t part of the peaceful society we’ve heard about?? Or it’s a new part of it. I think it will be the strange part of it.

I’m still on the aliens thing. This is what we’ve been told would be happening. Whether that is alien world or alien planet. Eligius has been there about 200 years, and this building seems to have been there a while, right? Or I’m assuming it’s an established place, but it doesn’t look like something a technologically advanced culture post earth apocalypse would build, style wise. It’s slightly organic/gothic…. oh, maybe we’re going SOLARPUNK.

IDK. People’s frame of reference seems to be “prom,” or maybe Cinderella, but I have questions and thoughts about this all.

If it’s a ball or prom that they need a choreographer for, although unless it’s highly stylized group dancing (and why hire a choreographer who does contemporary/broadway numbers instead of a folk dancer or something?) then why hire only FOUR dancers for it?

Four dancers + choreographer makes me think more along the lines of performance, meeting, presentation of characters who are utilizing the dance to tell part of the story.

The choreographer and many of the dancers seem to have a strange element to their work. The choreographer has a straight up WEIRD alien like dance number on her website, one of the dancers dances off the ground. One of them DOES have a ball number in OUAT though. Yes I googled the dancers and choreographer.

Why is dance part of the story when it never has been before? That makes it strange to this kind of storytelling, which fits, as we’re on an alien planet.

Why is it introduced so late in the season? Again it is another unusual thing that our heroes haven’t seen yet. That makes it, to me, part of a revelation of story. Not actually about Bellarke, but about the planet, the alienness, the mystery of what happened to eligius 4, and the main plot and possible big bad.

This set is also introduced late in the season at the same time as choreographer, so the dancing and set seem to be connected. 

Perhaps there is a fairy tale element, or a dream element. They HAVE brought in fairy tales before, as early as the linctavia beauty and the beast storyline. BUT JR has referenced all movies and books that have an element of unreality, altered perception/time/reality, possible hallucination, dream or vision, so I find that just as likely as a ball. More likely. Do fairy tales have to be about princesses and balls? No. They don’t. Often they are about the deep dark woods, mystery, danger and magic. Even Disney does that. Fairy tale =/= romance.

What is with that weird orange color? At first I thought it was a sheet of plastic, but upon close viewing, there is a lot of textural and tonal detail IN the orange. However, the orange makes it look fake. Therefore I think it is one layer of what eventually will be some sort of digital effect. Maybe it’s like layers in a painting. Maybe that orange color is supposed to give the impression that the castle is GLOWING. ohhh. that would make sense.

Ok. The orange part of the castle kind of centers on that pretty organic archway with the kind of half mandala in it, that looks like a stained glass window, but it is not a perfect mandala or circle and the center of it is DEFINITELY organic like a tree root or octopus. AND the stone around it kind of warps like it is wrinkled or there is something growing under it. That shape is echoed in the bannister. Top edge of the castle also shows this wrinkle/warping, which is maybe why I thought it was a sheet of plastic at first. It’s not. It was designed to look like something organic, but in stone. where we can SEE the stone building blocks.

The castle is human sized. The steps are human sized so are the doors. This is a building for humanoids. However there are super tall archways that are NOT human sized. Why build an archway that tall when the others are human height?

A thing growing through a stone castle is not humanoid. 

A thing growing through a stone castle and then echoed in the architecture of said castle is not an enemy, but something that is honored or worshipped or followed. 

You know how Avatar (the movie with blue people) had that mother tree that was, like, the center of life and spirit?

Binch. If the alien on this planet is THE ACTUAL PLANET someone needs to come over here and do an exorcism to get Jason Rothenberg out of my head because I wrote this in a novel 12 years ago, which was ALSO about cryo sleep, which was part of how they got to the new planet to colonize it, which just so y’all know, I suggested as a way to be saved from praimfaya before season 4 started. BEFORE. In january. Also, my current series based on the same universe as that space colony one is called The Mandala Series. The first one was The Mythos Series. That thing in the center looks like a mandala. 

If the alien beings on this planet are actually part of the planet, or a non human entity, AND we get choreography that is weird and dancers that can dance while hanging in space off of poles or ropes or vines or tentacles, then I suggest that there is a hybrid human/alien element, and the dancers will represent that new hybrid. Again, another idea from my novel. I might just be too deep into my novel to separate, and am reading into it, but that is how I came up with cryo theory and it turns out I was right. 

JR is in my head. 

Honestly, I don’t know how you guy come up with Bellarke and commence freaking out. I come up with living alien planets and hybrid alien/humans and commence freaking out. No offense, but my idea is more interesting than a ball. I mean. Maybe it’s a ball. That would be…. fun. 

[aimeesuzara]

Questions from Maiana Minahal’s Students in English 272, “Filipino Women Writers”...My Responses

Dear students and readers,

I’m honored that you’ve read my work and are interested in these facets of my life and craft as an artist. I love the challenge of being given questions to write about. So, here goes!

1. What is the best thing that writing, performing, creating, etc. provides you? It seems you have many talents, how do each contribute to the person that you are? What do you love about each?  

I’ve combined a couple of similar questions here.  First, thanks to whomever has said that I have many talents; I’m flattered.  I do believe I was blessed with a variety of areas of interest and natural “talent” that I got to explore and develop in different phases of my life.  I even felt split about whether to respond to the questions in writing and using my voice and image (because I love storytelling and the voice).

First, what do I love about writing?  And perhaps writing, as opposed to performing or creating other kinds of multidisciplinary art (plays, collaborations with dance, music, etc)?  

Writing is most private; it’s also a place for confession because in many ways, it’s hidden, is behind a mask.  Writing can be on one hand too analytical, but when it’s the most powerful it can also be magic-making, enabling a metaphor to be developed and breathe, an image to vibrate and have scent and color; a scene and characters to come alive with dialogue, backstory, and motivation.  It’s a place of invention, slower invention that has no immediate impact except itself on the page - as opposed to live performance which is more of an improvisation and collaboration together with an audience.

Performance, then, is that other thing; I believe performance happens on the page, in that invention, as well, but if we’re talking about performing on the stage or at a microphone, it’s a collaboration among many elements: space (architecture, weather), time, other people / audience, circumstance.  It’s also very natural, an ancient throwback to the griots and oral historians and singers and spiritual leaders making incantations...it predates writing.  The body is a vessel with so many faculties, and this is the most exciting set of possibilities.  Should this line or this word be whispered?  Yelled?  Projected on the body?  Who is my audience when I perform?  Are you my audience?  Is my audience in the past, present or the future?  Am I in the past, present or future?  What am I able to bring to life right now, and even co-create with you a new circumstance within the present moment?  In theater and in poetry, even if it’s the same exact play or the same poem, each rendering is unique.  Did someone laugh at a different part?  Did someone cry?  Am I feeling the spirit of my grandmother that day?  Or my future child? Also, the voice is vibrational.  There’s a way in which, when we perform, we are contacting others through the voice, through the heat of our bodies; we share a space and time that never occurs again.

Creating multidisciplinary work - I’ll differentiate as projects that are collaborative, that may involve production elements such as video-poems, dance theater, or collaboration with musicians and filmmakers: this takes the Performance and the Writing to another level.  Now, let’s add other people who are experts in their own fields: choreographers, dancers, composers, emcees, filmmakers.  I have had the opportunity to work with a variety of these, in making projects such as a “Tiny Fires” poem collaboration (click for excerpt) with San Francisco State University’s Dance Theater, in which my poem was translated into choreography and the dancers learned all of the lines; a recent collaboration with Alayo Dance Theater called “Manos de Mujeres” in which I researched, interviewed and wrote about the lives of Cuban Women and the dance company danced and choreographed to my words; a recent project called “Water and Walls” (click to watch) in which we all wrote verses to music about a shared theme and a filmmaker worked with us to produce a video. These are all exciting ways for the writing to live and breathe and thrive in different ways, through different mediums.  When it comes to plays, I do not even perform in the work, but get to see talented actors bring the stories to life, with directors at the helm and production crew helping execute a vision.  It’s like giving birth...and seeing someone grow up beyond you, doing things you could not do...

2. What are some influences on your poetry/work? (I reworded this one somewhat; I hope it is still fine!)

I think I’ve answered some of this in the above, in a way.  I am influenced by many art forms, and can’t see it any other way. I’ve never sat well with only poetry or only words, which can be limiting, and often, as referenced earlier, can become too cerebral.  Words are meant to be released, like songs are meant to be sung.  I am influenced by my early exposure to playing piano and dancing ballet, and later playing percussion and dancing West African and Afro-Cuban and Salsa and a slight bit of Filipino movement.  I am influenced by the work I love to watch - other theater-makers, poets, dancers.  Music influences me deeply, and often I hear poems come to me like strains of music, with melodies and rhythms.  The natural world influences me.  And history. As you have seen in my book, I can get nearly obsessed with history.  The way it was written, the way it omits, the glimpses it gives us into the minds of people.  Who is heard and who is not; who is rendered silent in the writing; who needs to be heard, if even in imagination.  History excites me and leads me to get possessed.  Lastly, change-makers and activists, because I came out of that.  I first wrote most fiercely and performed my first spoken word poems because I wanted to tell the story of a little girl, Crizel Valencia, who died at age 6 of leukemia after growing up on a toxic wasteland left by the United States military.  I lived in her community and in her home and we drew together.  When she died, after making dozens of drawings of herself envisioning her community and her own survival, I felt possessed to write, and speak. So, spirits influence me too.

3. About the book, SOUVENIR: What was the inspiration behind the layout and style of your poems? For example, the use of different fonts and inclusion of outside texts like in your poem "Manifest Destiny 1980."  I really liked how you wrote and organized your book by using exhibits (like in the museum, there's a story for each object or subject) I find it very creative. What gave you this idea or how did you think of it?

Each poem definitely has its own inspiration, but I can focus on the one you mentioned, first.  In “Manifest Destiny 1980″ I was basically writing parallel realities - one in 1980 (my own personal story of migration across the country) and the one in 1803 of the Lewis and Clark Expedition - both which moved from East to West.  In mapping out my own family’s road trip from New Jersey to the small Tri-Cities (Pasco, Kennewick, Richland) towns of the Pacific Northwest, where I remembered growing up with stories about Lewis and Clark and Sacajawea, I found that we followed similar route as Lewis and Clark. But, while our trip and our experience was about immigrants and their daughter adjusting and assimilating to White America, Lewis and Clark went to study and exploit the knowledge and resources, and the environment, of Native people.  We were subjected to being analyzed and studied and ostracized; they were, as well, but in the end were in the position of power linked to the destruction and removal of local people.  The parallel in the layout was meant to enable the two readings (top to bottom) and also one interrupting the other.

As for the exhibits: as you probably know, the 1904 St. Louis World’s Fair (Louisiana Purchase Exposition) celebrated the 100-year anniversary of the Louisiana Purchase, which followed the Lewis and Clark Expedition.  In the 1904 Fair, Filipinos were displayed in living exhibits, forced to re-enact rituals (at far too many intervals, unnaturally, for show and even competition), eat, sit, and interact in the public eye, as the living conquests of the US Imperialists.  I realized that so much of our lives was and is performance as well - my parents needing to demonstrate their ability to work and function within the American context; my striving to fit in, disappear, or perform as the rare Filipino girl in often non-diverse environments.  Without being too literal, I was interested in how we can see our lives on display, and what is lost or gained in that performance.  And objects - what are the objects that are collected as treasures of war - including our own bodies?

4. In the poem, "My Mother's Watch,” did that situation really happen to you? If you do go back to the motherland regularly, does the profiling still happen to you today?

Yes; that poem is actually pretty true to life.  I wouldn’t have called it “profiling” in that I think that term carries meanings of power within a racist context such as the United States.  In the Philippines, it was more of curiosity, more of realizing that you could never really “go back” in a way that is simply nostalgic or “authentic” -- that once the departure from the homeland, and the living within the United States context occurs, we may appear similar in skin and features, we may be 100% the same as our relatives in some ways, but we are not because we have lost our native tongues, or cultural norms, or gestures.  And also - that I felt so much bigger and taller than other Filipinos speaks to the fact that many of our own relatives or people just like us back “home” had access to fewer resources and nutrition, whereas we were able to grow up on milk and in my case, packaged and microwaved foods.  Even in our bodies, we are altered forever.  There was an article/ interview about this poem here that may be of interest: http://www.lanternreview.com/blog/2011/05/31/process-profile-aimee-suzara-discusses-my-mothers-watch/

5. What was the hardest part of the book to write?

The whole thing was hard to write, but it was actually harder to write the “colonizer”/white man/government/military and scientific voices because they were so emotionless at times, so declaratory, and in many cases, so condescending, if not overtly racist.  To dwell in the language in which Filipinos were called “niggers” and “rabbits” and that torture of Filipinos seemed to be so much fun; or that Native and Filipino and Black people’s skulls and genetics were inferior (according to the scientific racism of the time); and also that so much of it seemed to ring true to today.  It’s much easier to write personal narrative, lyrical narrative.

6.  What do you hope for readers to remember the most?

I hope that readers can see themselves reflected in the glass of the museum exhibits.  That regardless of their background, they see how Filipino-American History is American History and not some niche piece of history, but actually demonstrated some of the most egregious cases of scientific racism and exploitation, the epitome at the end of the 19th century, of colonialism and imperialism.  I hope readers check out more of the history, and also reflect on themselves and where they come from.

7.  What is the most nerve wrecking thing about becoming a mother for the first time? (Congratulations by the way!)

I put this at the end because it feels, in a way, like a bonus question, but also something very relevant to our lives as artists.  Becoming a first-time mother involves putting everything aside - my writing, my teaching, my projects - in service of my health and the health and protection of the child I am going to birth.  I have birthed many other things: projects, plays and poems, but a human being -- this requires the most sacrifice and faith I’ve ever had to summon.  At the same time, I think it’s very important for you, readers, to know that as artists, our lives are our art, just as art is our life.  We never stop being one or another (people, mothers, playwrights, performers).  If I believed I would stop being an artist, I could despair, but if I were to stop being an artist, what kind of mother would my son have?  He deserves my full self.  So, while our time becomes more limited and we have to focus on the child, we do not lose ourselves; we simply change.

Thank you for your interest and I hope you’ve enjoyed my answers!

[flakandforay]

Fake Love Analysis

this is the analysis for bangtan’s 3rd full album: Love Yourself 轉: Tear’s title track: fake love. 

i will be analysing several components - music, lyrics, aesthetics and choreography

disclaimer: this is just my personal opinion, feel free to disagree. do let me know your thoughts in my ask box

overall: it is the start of a new era with bangtan!!!! who the hell isnt happy??? and let’s talk about quality voices and quality aesthetics, im sCREAMING!!!!!!!!!

teaser 1: this literally gave us hints to how the story is supposedly going to flow etc ( read my fake love teaser 1 theory here and fake love theory here )

teaser 2: honestly that teaser showed us the bridge yet again just like how they did for BST, spring day etc and going on with these motifs, thank you for blessing my ears and showing a glimpse of jungkook’s abs

music: anyway, diving right into the music !!!!!!!!!!

so the song starts off with Taehyung yet again, just like DNA, kudos to how there are more songs with Taehyung starting off!!! ( honestly going to wait for Seokjin yo start off more songs as well ). one could hear the electric guitar chords and this synthesized flute that being played possibly with the keyboard as well. it has this distinct synth as well that could be heard. it sounds really creepy actually if you hear the synth by itself, much like an empty in an eerie room, the whole impending ominous angst.

there was this brief pause at 0:12, before jungkook comes in to continue the opening verse. the same eerie synth underlying his vocals. this is where jungkook gets his ‘solo’ dance with these lines. i love how the way he sings here, he punctuates each word as if a sword is stabbing him each time he knows it’s fake love. then at 0:23, there are some murmurings of some lyrics, specifically ‘im so sick of’ ; most likely done by namjoon that becomes a lead in to the actual chorus led by jimin at 0:25.

interesting, jimin starts one count before a new bar starts as he dives into the chorus and sings with utmost desperation; as if he is crying out. i love how all the angst is on beat together with the percussion; it’s amazing. and then it allows the ringing of the beat to harmonize with the ‘love’ sang by jimin and seokjin. before seokjin takes over from jimin at 0:31, there is this brief pause of the vocals with the underlying beat still pushing through. yet somehow throughout the chorus, one could hear how there is this sort of ‘barking noise’ out of anger, definitely not snarling or growling though.

then at 0:39, namjoon’s verse comes in, but at the same time, it is together with jungkook as though jungkook is replying to him; much like they are having a conversation. i love how the beat simmers down to provide more emphasis onto namjoon’s verse and this style of rapping. one could hear the subtle synths and percussion throughout this exchange. then at 0:46, interestingly, there’s a slight change in synths that echo out. then there is that rumbling synth that signals the next part of the song which is hoseok’s verse.

hoseok being hoseok has to have an adlib before starting off his verse. hoseok has adapted a more distinct style of rapping - in a way by punctuating each and every word to make it sound like a staccato and not to mention, having the end syllables double by namjoon is what makes me love his part all the more !!!! then at 0:57, hoseok makes it a point to switch up his flow by rapping more words in his last few lines !!! this leads us to the iconic mirror move !!!!!!!!!!!! i love the desperation he evokes when he semi-shouts ‘누구니’. it becomes a huge contrast to the pulp coming prechorus at 1:03. yet between both namjoon and hoseok’s verses, there are these ‘tremolo’ synths that last about one count each underlying in both verses - a nice added touch.

so the prechorus starts with jimin yet again and one could hear the prominent electric guitar chords mhm, what a blessing to my ears. i love how there is a slight short contrast with hoseok’s verse but it doesn’t actually drop in volume but insteads build a steady crescendo to the chorus. even when seokjin takes over at 1:16, the same volume is there but builds up slowly and one would realize that the percussion is only introduced at seokjin’s part though one could be confused as to why there is sort form of percussion during jin in’s part is due to the bass notes of the chords.

i love when seokjin takes over because his voice has this additional layer of desperation that makes the song sound even more vulnerable and befitting for the theme they were going for. then at 1:26, we have that same murmuring of namjoon before the chorus comes in at 1:27 with jungkook.

now at the chorus, the volume is at full force. one could hear that there are several layers of synths that could be heard. then at 1:33, taehyung takes over momentarily. but when jungkook takes over again, like as though it’s a conversation, jungkook’s lines are actually doubled by someone else. moving on, as taehyung completes the chorus, that distinct synth underlies the whole chorus again and at the same time, once taehyung’s part ends, it becomes a lead in to the extended chorus with jimin and seokjin - not much has changed.

then the song moves on to namjoon’s verse at 2:05 and it opens with that same tremolo synth that is descending. interesting that namjoon’s verse is also in a way conversation style and that the ‘replies’ to his lines are also doubled most likely by jungkook. namjoon even managed to squeeze in an adlib of ‘oh no’ before he wraps it up.

then at 2:18, that same tremolo synth is being used as a lead-in to yoongi’s verse as he starts his rap.  yoongi knows exactly where to emphasize and namjoon helps to add extra emphasis by doubling on those parts. he even managed to squeeze in an adlib of ‘ooh’ with his vocal tone being much lower than his rapping one. love how he ended his verse as though he was just stating facts - a clear nonchalance if you will.

then the prechorus comes in again with jimin at 2:31, but there’s a slight difference in a way that there’s an additional layer of synth to distinguish it from the previous prechorus. also that the percussion is removed from jimin’s part and that there’s a clear keyboard synth being used. only when seokjin takes over did the percussion is reintroduced at 2:44.

then the chorus comes back in with jungkook at 2:54. however the difference here is that underlying jungkook’s part is jimin’s vocals. and instead of taehyung doing the next part, it’s jimin instead and one could hear the clear harmonization as well of the higher vocals. then at 3:10, one could hear jungkook harmonizing with his part as well with the word ‘bad’.

in the end, the extended chorus comes back around with jimin and seokjin. but then it ends with jimin singing the prechorus with taehyung doubling it to get a more fuller and contrasting sound at 3:37. the guitar being very prominent here as well. then the song ends with seokjin singing and jungkook harmonizing and doubling as well. it’s as if they repeated the introduction and it’s amazingly done well.

lyrics: i love these lyrics so much???? there’s so many innuendos here, and one could feel their emotions inside

널 위해서라면 난 슬퍼도 기쁜 척 할 수가 있었어 널 위해서라면 난 아파도 강한 척 할 수가 있었어

=

If it’s for you I can act like I’m happy even when I’m sad If it’s for you I can act strong even when it hurts

honestly, i really think that these lyrics already show how much one was willing to give himself up/scarific himself for his loved one, he hides it all, putting up a mask; much like singularity; a facade, another persona possibly.

사랑이 사랑만으로 완벽하길 내 모든 약점들은 다 숨겨지길 이뤄지지 않는 꿈속에서 피울 수 없는 꽃을 키웠어

=

Hoping love will be perfected with only love Hoping that all my weaknesses will be hidden In this dream that won’t ever come true I grew a flower that couldn’t be blossomed

to think that these lyrics came out right at the beginning; already linking us to smeraldo; based on the smeraldo blog posts before, the smeraldo flower was a flower that was based off a myth; it didn't actually exist but because the greater loved someone so much, he made this flower - the same flower that is being referenced here. 

i love how they constantly link the lyrics back to how they are having some sort of facade; a mask on their real face to cover everything else. 

I wanna be a good man Just for you 세상을 줬네 Just for you 전부 바꿨어 Just for you Now I dunno me Who are you?

=

I wanna be a good man just for you I gave you the world, just for you I changed everything just for you Now I dunno me Who are you?

here comes the verse of Namjoon, and honestly this is great. i love how he shos how much he sacrificed himself to the point he doesn't recognise himself anymore. yet, this idea is brought over to hoseok’s part. 

우리만의 숲 너는 없었어 내가 왔던 Route 잊어버렸어 나도 내가 누구였는지도 잘 모르게 됐어 거울에다 지껄여봐 너는 대체 누구니

=

In our forest, you weren’t there I forgot the route that I came on Now I don’t even know who I used to be So I ask the mirror, who are you?

again, the idea of losing oneself for another; much like the lyrics in Taehyung’s intro: singularity, right here. 

but the fact that the lyrics of using the ‘mirror’ adds another layer of nuances inside; saying that one wouldn't recognise their own reflection either. 

그 호수에 내가 날 버렸잖아 내 목소릴 널 위해 묻었잖아

=

I left myself behind on that lake My voice was buried for you

나는 날 잃은 걸까 아니 널 얻은 걸까

=

Did I lose myself? Or did I gain you?

Reference: Colour Coded ©

the idea of losing oneself is brought over from Singularity to Fake love. 

Love you so bad, love you so bad 널 위해 예쁜 거짓을 빚어내 Love it’s so mad, love it’s so mad 날 지워 너의 인형이 되려 해

=

Love you so bad, love you so bad For you, I’m enacting a pretty lie Love it’s so mad, love it’s so mad I’m erasing myself to become your doll

this chorus is amazing, the lyrics are really on another level. for one’s satisfaction, lies are being said and done, and sacrificing oneself to be the puppet to show that they truly love their partners. 

I’m so sick of this Fake love, fake love, fake love I’m so sorry but it’s Fake love, fake love, fake love

what gets to me is the extended chorus, that shows how far this kind of toxic relationship has gone and that it needs to end. 

the fact that the same lines are repeated twice show the added emphasis on this idea. 

Why you sad? I don’t know 난 몰라 웃어봐 사랑해 말해봐 나를 봐 나조차도 버린 나 너조차 이해할 수 없는 나

=

Why you sad? I don’t know, I don’t know Smile, tell me you love me Look at me, I threw myself away Not even you can understand me

i love namjoon’s lyrics so much??? it shows how much he kinda become delusional for this toxic love etc. 

낯설다 하네 니가 좋아하던 나로 변한 내가 아니라 하네 예전에 니가 잘 알고 있던 내가 아니긴 뭐가 아냐 난 눈 멀었어 사랑은 뭐가 사랑 It’s all fake love

=

You say I’m strange when I changed into the person you liked You say I’m not the person you used to know What do you mean? No, I’ve grown blind What do you mean this is love, it’s all fake love

moving onto to yoongi’s lyrics, this shows how much he changed to someone else; one that he thought his partner would like. this fake love is becoming more and more chaotic. 

Woo, I dunno, I dunno, I dunno why Woo 나도 날 나도 날 모르겠어 Woo, I just know, I just know, I just know why ’cause it’s all fake love, fake love, fake love

=

Woo, I dunno, I dunno, I dunno why Woo, I don’t even know myself Woo, I just know, I just know, I just know why ’cause it’s all fake love, fake love, fake love

see, the lyrics of the bridge summarises back this whole fake love concept, not even knowing themselves anymore. 

but what i love is how bangtan ends the whole song with that same lyrics that they started it off with, it felt like they gave closure to the whole song. 

Reference: Colour Coded ©

aesthetics: this video is so full of aesthetics, i am so satisfied. 

like i mentioned before, there are some resemblances to BST, both the korean and japanese version. 

but asides from that, theres very few palette colours they are going for; little monochrome, blue to green, bright pink and most importantly, that one specific place where everything filmed there is saturated. 

several places being filmed, especially given how each member is focused individually in a room and only together when they are doing the choreography. 

also, great lighting, because wow 

also, the fact, no CG, so we have these great scenes 

truly, another aesthetic video. 

choreography: okay, so i must say that this choreography wasnt as fast-paced as i would have expected it to be much like DNA or Dope, but it definitely had some more contemporary elements in terms of their formation though very subtle; more popping as seen through the choruses as well.

one could also say that this choreography also has some semblance with BST, in terms of their intro choreography and their setting.

but moving on, love the use of the shadows right here, it’s so satisfying to watch, much like to say that within a person, there’s so many personas, all trying to come out etc; but regardless it’s only one person. 

then, jungkook comes along to get his solo dance, and that whole taekook pairing yet again. interesting to see taehyung the one to support jungkook here just like how taehyung supported hoseok in i need u. 

then the extended chorus comes in, and as hoseok mentioned before in their comeback show on vapp, they incorporated the moves based on the ‘see no evil, hear no evil, do no evil’ kind of mantra with the 3 monkeys etc. and also, that whole popping thing that they did, hell yeah. 

and the way they transitioned it to seokjin’s part is so smooth.

moving on, i must say i love how they just kinda focused on namjoon and jungkook for their parts; having another unit this time round; an unconventional one too i must say. 

and then when they moved on to hoseok’s part, the key point is the mirror dance, this was truly the highlight. ( and there seems to be no gif i could find for this help )

this part of the choreography to show that they are like dolls, it’s so befitting with the lyrics, and it’s such a quick transition, i love them. 

also, the whole part where the rapline does their parts, mainly namjoon in his 2nd verse and then yoongi, in which they use it to kinda make a chill choreography since more emphasis is placed on their raps. 

but of course, we have the iconic part of where jungkook show this abs and everyone combusts into flames. it’s part of the dance but damn.

but regardless, the moves are amazing, even more so towards the 2nd chorus. 

it’s so fluid, it’s great. 

but of course, the ending is the best. the formation, to actually just leave a hand out, kinda reminds me of a flower blooming, could it be emeralds - the flower that cant be blossomed? 

last thoughts: i really love this title track of theirs, i feel as though it really shines the most in this album and really went for the message that they want to bring across which is fake love. 

[Photo Source] Bighit Entertainment  Credits: maxine ☕️ DO NOT REPOST ©

[imagitory]

Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi Review [Spoilers]

Hey all! So I just got back from seeing The Last Jedi, so I can finally put my two-cents in on the newest installment of the trilogy. Before getting into spoilers, I will say this film is a worthy addition to the franchise, building upon concepts from previous movies while also creating new, creative imagery for this film that fits alongside the stuff that came before it. While I successfully guessed a few twists this film took, it also surprised me just as much, and I greatly appreciate that. It kept me on my toes the entire time. Overall, I would say every Star Wars fan will get something great out of this, even if they end up not liking the film as a whole.

Now then...spoilers ahead. Beware, all ye who enter here.

The Good!

+These action scenes...DAMN! I think they were easily some of the most creative and thrilling in the entire film series. Rose and Finn’s chase through intergalactic Las Vegas Canto Bight, the opening battle with the fighter jets, the confrontation at the rebel base, and the battle between Rey, Kylo Ren, and the First Order officers were all fantastic. The effects were spot-on, the music matched the movement perfectly, and the choreography of both the CGI and the actors was really well-done.

+Mark Hamill as Luke. I mean, yeah -- what can you say here except “duh?” Mark really went above and beyond here. Yes, I knew I was going to love seeing him as Luke again for nostalgic reasons, but what I love most is how much more depth Mark brought to the character, after all of the trials and tribulations he’s gone through between the films. He depicted a character who most would think would solely be a mentor figure, given his age and his beloved status, but who it turns out has his own learning curve to take on. He needs to acknowledge that while the Jedi were flawed, their philosophy shouldn’t just be completely thrown out and their old religion shouldn’t just be forgotten -- there are pieces that are still of use and should be passed on. It’s something Rey also realizes, and Kylo does not -- Kylo wants to burn everything down, including the past, regardless of the shreds of good there might be in that past along with the bad. And like Rey, as much as I was sad to see Luke go, I felt peace as it was happening. He is now one with the Force. Now he can guide Rey into the future and haunt Kylo for his mistakes -- both of which I will support him in wholeheartedly.

+Carrie Fisher as Leia. This truly was a shining performance -- I feel so beyond blessed that she was able to finish shooting her scenes before her sudden death, because hail to the motherfucking Queen, baby. When the Rebel bridge got blown up with Leia inside (good touch having it be Kylo’s men and not Kylo who did it, by the by), I literally felt myself stop breathing. But then she FLOATED HERSELF BACK TO THE SHIP TO SAVE HERSELF AND HOLY SHIT. It was actually eerie seeing Leia unconscious on the ship, as I couldn’t help but think of how Carrie had also been in a coma just before she passed...it was beyond merciful that Leia survived in this installment, and that she got to kick so much ass here. I do wonder how the filmmakers are going to handle her loss in the next movie...but wow, am I glad we got to see Carrie one last time on film, especially when she gave such a good performance.

+The focus on Poe. Honestly, Poe Dameron didn’t get that much attention in The Force Awakens, and I’m glad he got his proper share of spotlight here. I love the arc he went through and how he came to appreciate Vice Admiral Holdo’s leadership, even despite their differing approaches and distrust of each other. I think he’ll truly be able to step into Leia’s shoes as leader of the Rebellion in the future, now that he’s learned the value of human life over glory.

+The theme of rebellion being a symbol of hope to the oppressed, best exemplified by Rose and the other marginalized citizens of intergalactic Las Vegas Canto Bight. Yeah, I keep referencing Las Vegas when I talk about that planet, and yeah, they clearly modeled the look of the wealthy casinos and buildings off of it...but after having visited Vegas recently, and since I’m living in another wealthy tourist town myself (Anaheim), I must applaud the fact that they modeled the planet’s ugly underbelly to the same one that you can find in Vegas and cities like it, and actually took the time to discuss it. Where there is obscene wealth, there is also sickening, crippling poverty; where there is privilege, there will always be abuse. It ties back into the lesson Luke taught Rey about light and darkness -- how they constantly balance each other. But just like how Rey and Kylo mirror each other, being strong in the light and the darkness respectively, so too can rebellion become an equal to tyranny...and the end of the movie with the children likewise invigorated to take on the fight about to come left me feeling empowered.

+Finn’s arc from solely focusing on his friends and himself to seeing the Rebellion as something just as important to fight for. I’ve always seen Finn as a Hufflepuff or a Slytherin, morality-wise, in that he values his inner-circle over the whole world, but it was really neat to have him learn about how the world must be safe in order for the things he loves to be safe too.

+Kylo Ren killing Snoke. It felt in character and I think it will allow Kylo to go darker and become the real Big-Bad of the trilogy, since he won’t have to skirt around Snoke’s coattails anymore. Plus, admittedly, I always found Snoke sort of disappointing as Star Wars villains go, and I think it establishes how very treacherous the First Order is -- Kylo turned on Snoke, so who is to say Hux or any of his other subordinates won’t turn on Kylo? Unlike the Rebellion, whose bonds are strengthening, we’re already getting the hint of just how fragile the bonds binding the First Order together are...and that means Kylo has no one who he can truly rely on, unlike Rey, who of course has friends she can trust.

+I like that for all of the “mirroring” this film tried to do with Rey and Kylo, Rey still refused to follow him. She’s strong enough in herself and her moral compass to use her head and not trust him, even if he tries to lure her with knowledge of her parents and a promise of companionship. (I mean, seriously, Rey -- who gives a damn about your deadbeat parents, Finn and Poe and Chewie and BB-8 and Leia love you like few other things in this world! They’re your real family!)

+All of the actors gave very strong performances. I can honestly not pick out any weak links here -- they all gave it their all.

+The hacker character DJ I hope pops up again in the next movie. He seems like an interesting chaotic neutral character and since he didn’t get much of a resolution in this film, I look forward to what he’ll get in the next one.

+FINN KICKED CAPTAIN PHASMA’S ASS, HELLZ YEAH, THAT’S MY BOY. (Also, good to see Phasma having more screen time than in the last movie, even if it still wasn’t that much.)

The Not-So-Good...

+All the Reylo shipper fuel. *dodges knives* OKAY -- LISTEN. I do not support Rey/Kylo, and I probably never will, but shipping aside, here’s my problem with it -- the film did not properly convey why Rey has forgiven Kylo enough to let him into her mind. I’m sorry, it just didn’t. Kylo killed his father -- Rey’s mentor -- one of the first three protagonists that we all fell in love with in the original trilogy -- who went to bring his son back to the Light, only to get stabbed through the chest for his trouble. I just didn’t feel anything close to what Rey did when she started going, “Why? Why did you do it?” and questioning why Kylo destroyed the Jedi Temple -- I’m sorry, all I saw from Kylo in this film is that he was conflicted, not that he was sorry or had any interest in fixing his mistakes. It doesn’t matter if killing his father was painful for him -- it should be. He committed first-degree patricide. Feeling bad for your actions alone is not enough -- you then have to do something about it -- and Kylo did not do that. It felt like in some ways they were trying to parallel Padme and Anakin, where Padme likewise fruitlessly implores Anakin to come back to the Light Side even though it’s too late -- but there are a million and one differences between Anakin and Kylo, most relevant in this case being that Anakin’s reason to not turn back was out of misguided love for Padme (and later because he had no choice, since he’d alienated all of his allies and his suit basically left him tethered to Darth Sidious and the Empire), and that Kylo’s was to assert his loyalty to Snoke (and later to take vengeance against those who wronged him and assert his power). Anakin was trying to protect one of the people that meant the world to him after having known so little love in his life, while Kylo had a family who supported him, taught him, and trained him and he decided that Snoke’s approval and his own pride were more important than that. Anakin was raised to think that he was nothing -- a worthless slave -- while Kylo knew likely from the time he was very little that he was special and decided to act out because of it. Anakin’s initial fall was out of ignorance and a selfish kind of love, but Kylo’s was out of active vengeance, teenage angst, privileged frustration, and a toxic need to dominate and control. Snoke was right when he said that Kylo was no Vader, and that he instead was just a child -- he’s too immature to even acknowledge that his rationale for falling to the Dark Side and doing what he did was WRONG AND EVIL AND STUPID. That’s why I still don’t forgive Kylo Ren, that’s why I don’t think Rey should’ve been as open to him as she was, and that’s why I was satisfied by the ending where Kylo proved himself to be just as vile as I always thought he was, by blaming Snoke’s death on Rey so he can take over the First Order himself and go about terrorizing the galaxy. Someone who was truly sorry for what he’d done and had the capacity to change would’ve at the very least taken the “Zuko Alone” route and tried to recollect himself and redefine a new moral code that he can follow. As of now, the way things are now, I hope that in the final movie Kylo Ren burns, leaving nothing behind but a pile of ash, same as the Jedi Temple he burned to the ground.

+Rose/Finn. I know a few other people have said this, but...yeah. It was WAY too rushed. Honestly, the only thing I can hope for is that in the next film, Finn has to politely turn Rose’s feelings down, because honestly there was just not enough romantic chemistry built up between the two characters. I’m not a rabid Poe/Finn or Finn/Rey shipper, but I still think either of those couples had much more behind them than what this film gave Finn/Rose. Maybe this couple could’ve been written better, maybe it couldn’t have been, but regardless, it was a misstep for this film, the way it was handled.

+C3PO and R2D2 were pretty much dead weight in this movie. BB-8 remained relevant and necessary throughout the runtime, but our old veterans were basically props. They didn’t even really get that many laughs.

+Porgs may be cute, but...wow, were they oddly forgettable. I liked the crystal foxes (Vulptex?) much better.

I definitely look forward to seeing how this new trilogy ends. The messages and action of this movie definitely make me eager to see how the filmmakers will follow it up, and I hope that the few problems I did have are properly addressed. The new Star Wars trilogy is truly exciting...the possibility and potential for the next one truly are limitless, as far as I can see.

Overall Grade: B

[kotyonokvictor-blog]

ao3 link

Yuri is sure that he has never been happier in all of his life.

After the Grand Prix Final was over, he had made his decision to move with Victor over to Russia, back to Victor’s apartment where Victor had lived before he had gone out to Japan to coach Yuri. Yuri had found it wonderful to be in Russia, Victor showed him around, took him sight seeing, Yuri got to meet some of his old friends. Victor’s apartment was cozy and Makkachin also seemed very happy to have Yuri around which, in kind, made Victor quite happy too.

The skating season is currently in a lull, and nothing much is coming up, so Yuri and Victor are simply skating freely, training and practicing together at the nearest rink where Yurio sometimes pops up. Both Yuri and Victor are always happy to see him, and so is Yurio, but, of course, he never really says so.

Sometimes Victor will choreograph a routine just for fun, no reason, sometimes to critique Yuri or help him work on certain themes or patterns that will probably show up in the future. And, of course, they’re still working on jumps. And other stuff in general. So, it doesn’t really surprise Yuri when one day, at an empty rink, whilst he’s lacing up his skates, almost ready to step on the ice where Victor already is, Victor speaks up.

“I want to try something today,” he says, skating in a leisurely circle. A hint of nerves creep into Yuri since when Victor says he wants to try something in pretty much any situation, it can range from very simple and easy, to very difficult and resulting in disaster. Enter the time Victor suggested cooking something very complicated for dinner and a dish towel ended up catching fire. Don’t ask how.

“What is it?” Yuri questions, glancing upwards.

“Well, I wanted to do another pair skating routine,” Victor begins. Yuri looks over at him curiously as he stands up and stretches his arms over his head and behind him.

“Why?” he questions, stepping forwards. Victor shrugs.

“No reason in particular. ‘Stay Close To Me’ was fun to do, you’re very fun to skate with you know,” Victor tells Yuri with a grin, skating over to the gate, taking Yuri’s hands in his and letting him step onto the ice. Yuri grins back, following Victor’s lead as Victor simply glides backwards.

“So that’s what you want to work on? Pair skating?” Yuri questions as both him and Victor just skate over the ice, hand in hand.

“Well, I actually wanted to work on the lifts,” Victor tells him, letting one hand drop, the other squeezing Yuri’s hand as he skates a circle around him. Yuri raises an eyebrow.

“Lifts?”

“Yes,” Victor nods.

“You don’t even want to get basic choreography down?” Yuri inquires.

“Well, I figured we could just experiment with the lifts first, see what we can get into the routine. I want to see what you can do and what I can do with you,” Victor says, poking Yuri in the side. Yuri can’t help but smile a little.

“I assume I’m not lifting you?” Yuri says, and Victor lets out a light laugh.

“Sorry, moya lyubov, “ Victor says, pulling Yuri towards him to kiss his forehead. “Not today. You’re smaller, it’s much easier that way,” he tells Yuri softly.

“Please tell me we’re starting with the basic ones,” Yuri says.

“Of course,” Victor assures him. “We’ll warm up a bit and then we’ll start, yes?” Victor proposes. Yuri nods.

“Sounds good.”

---

It’s maybe fifteen minutes later when they’re both warm having skated around the rink a few times, stretched out a little more. Finally, Victor skates to the middle of the rink and beckons for Yuri to follow.

“You took ballet as a child, yes? With Minako?” Victor inquires. Yuri nods. “Did you ever partner?”

Yuri thinks for a minute.

“Uhm, maybe once or twice?” he tells Victor who nods.

“Have you done the swan dive?”

Yuri raises an eyebrow.

“Possibly? Again, I was never the one getting lifted, nor was I on ice,” Yuri tells Victor who smiles.

“Well, there’s a first time for everything,” Victor says happily.

“You said we were starting with the easy ones,” Yuri says.

“It is easy,” Victor argues. Yuri shakes his head.

“You haven’t lifted me in awhile, maybe you should try just lifting me off the ice,” Yuri proposes. Victor raises an eyebrow.

“Oh, who’s coaching who now?” Victor questions, and Yuri rolls his eyes fondly.

“Just, pick me up,” Yuri says, out stretching his arms. Victor huffs a breath before leaning forwards, bending down a little, wrapping his hands around Yuri’s waist and lifting him up, Yuri’s hands landing on Victor’s shoulders. “Gracefully!” Yuri yelps when Victor places him back down, earning a little snicker from Victor. Yuri lets out a breath, shaking his head. “Try it again,” he says.

“How many times are you going to make me do this?” Victor questions.

“Until I don’t feel like you’re about to fling me across the rink,” Yuri tells Victor who smiles coyly.

“Okay,” he says. “Try again.”

Yuri takes a breath and holds out his arms. Victor quirks a little smile, reaching outwards.

“I’m not going to fling you across the rink but I suppose I can fling you somewhere else,” Victor says. Yuri’s eyes widen.

“Wha-”

And then Victor picks him up, throwing him over his shoulder in one clean, practised motion. Yuri lets out a squeak, a noise that has Victor smiling.

“Victor!” Yuri says, obviously alarmed. Victor has a smug grin on as he slowly starts skating around the rink. “Victor, put me down,” Yuri demands, though he’s not flailing as much as Victor had suspected.

“I don’t know, Yuri, you’re quite fun to carry around,” Victor hums. “You’re a lightweight now, my small little Yuri,” Victor goes on, pushing off with one foot to glide smoothly across the ice.

“Victor.”

“Hmm?” Victor hums, obviously very pleased with himself.

“Down,” Yuri simply states.

“This counts as a lift though, we’re practicing a lift,” Victor argues.

“If we ever performed this we would get docked more points than you can imagine,” Yuri tells Victor. Victor frowns.

“Well, I suppose you’re right,” he sighs, stopping and slowly placing Yuri back down on the ice. When he does he kisses the top of Yuri’s head. “That was fun though, we’ll do it again,” he insists. Victor knows that Yuri is trying not to smile since Yuri is awful at hiding smiles, even as he shakes his head.

“No, stick to the swan dive,” Yuri states.

“So you’ll do it now?” Victor questions. Yuri sighs.

“As long as you promise not to drop me,” Yuri says, looking expectantly up at Victor. Victor smiles.

“I promise I won’t drop you,” Victor vows. Yuri smiles a little and nods. “You trust me, Yuri, don’t you?” Victor questions, leaning forwards to cup Yuri’s chin. Yuri smiles and leans forwards to kiss Victor softly.

“I trust you very much,” Yuri replies. Victor smiles, pulling away.

“Good. Here, start with just the lift, we’ll skate into it once you’re comfortable with it, yes?” Victor proposes. Yuri nods and Victor outstretches his arms. “You know the positioning of this one?” Victor questions. Yuri nods once more. “Good,” Victor comments, patting Yuri’s thigh. “Arabesque,” he instructs simply, and Yuri shifts his position so his side is facing Victor. “Wait, here,” Victor says, skating around Yuri to the other side. “Right side is your better side, right?” he inquires, even though he knows Yuri is more flexible on his right, therefore, higher arabesque. Yuri nods. “Alright, up,” Victor says, referencing Yuri’s leg. Yuri takes a breath and puts his arms out, gaining balance before bringing his back, left leg up behind him. Victor presses forwards so his chest is only inches from Yuri’s side. He leans down a bit, one arm encircling Yuri’s waist, the other coming up to wrap around his left thigh. “Feels about right?” Victor inquires.

“So far,” Yuri replies.

“Okay, good. Lift your right foot, lean forwards just a bit, I’ve got you,” Victor reassures him kindly. Slowly, Yuri’s right foot comes off the ice, reaching back towards his left knee. “Eye the ground,” Victor says as he bends his knees a bit, supporting Yuri’s weight, making sure everything is even. He notices Yuri is holding his breath, something he tends to do when he’s trying hard or focusing a lot, and Victor can’t help but smile a little.

“Breathe, Yuri, don’t asphyxiate yourself,” Victor tells Yuri who huffs a breath of laughter. “Okay,” Victor sighs after a moment of getting used to the position. He straightens up with just barely a bit of difficulty. “Okay, you can put your foot back down,” Victor says, and Yuri does so carefully, making sure his weight and balance are still even. “Can I let go now?” Victor questions. Yuri hums approvingly, and Victor does so whilst Yuri lets his left leg come back down, his skate touching the ice again.

“That went well,” Yuri breathes out, smiling a little. Victor smiles back.

“See? You don’t have enough faith in me, Yuri, I swear,” Victor says, shaking his head.

“I do, I promise,” Yuri says confidently, looking over at Victor. Victor smiles back.

“Try it a few more times before we skate it, yes?” Victor questions.

“Mhm.”

---

After trying it a few more times, just simply in place, both Yuri and Victor agree together that skating into it will work. They start at one end of the rink, slowly skating across it, side by side, hands brushing occasionally.

“Don’t stop skating, don’t hesitate, if you go slow you’ll stutter,” Victor says.

“I’ve got it,” Yuri reassures Victor who smiles a little.

“Okay, now turn,” Victor says slowly. Yuri turns, skating smoothly into position, side to Victor’s chest. “Leg up,” Victor goes on as they continue to glide across the ice. Yuri gains balance, lifts his back left leg as Victor slides one arm around Yuri’s waist, the other around his thigh. “I’ve got you,” Victor assures, and Yuri takes a breath before lifting his right leg off the ice so Victor is holding him in the air. “Breathe, Yuri,” Victor soothes as their momentum slows. Yuri lets out a long breath. “Bring your foot back down,” Victor tells Yuri who does so, though it’s a little shaky at first, nothing exactly smooth. “I’m letting go now,” Victor informs Yuri who nods, balance steady as he goes to bring his left leg down. “Don’t bring your leg down, keep going, keep that position, keep your balance,” Victor says, slowing his own skating as Yuri keeps going. “Good,” Victor praises, watching Yuri’s form. “Chest up.”

“Victor, I can’t hold this for forever,” Yuri tells Victor who smiles softly.

“Alright, alright, you can relax now,” Victor says, chuckling a little. Yuri lets out a loud huff of air before turning back to Victor. “That looked good, really good. If you have more momentum next time you can keep going longer. Do you think you could go into a lunge after that?” Victor questions as Yuri skates back over to him.

“Which leg?” Yuri questions.

“Left leg in front. You think that would look good, bringing that leg down into a lunge?” Victor asks, brows furrowed in thought. Yuri hums a little.

“Yeah, I think that could look cool,” he says. Victor nods.

“We’ll see if that works. But first practice it a few more times, it’s a little shaky so far. You need to let go, lean in deeper. Chest near the ice, higher arabesque. Use your upper body when I let go of you, yes? That’s where your balance is,” Victor informs him, skating back to the other side of the rink. “Now try again.”

---

They keep going over it until they’re both sweating and Yuri has heard over a hundred different corrections from Victor. Finally, once both of them feel like it looks at least alright (they know you can’t master something in one day) Victor decides to put it into a little combination. Nothing fancy, no jumps or anything, but he throws in a little choreography to ‘Clair De Lune’ (Victor had insisted on something romantic and Yuri had insisted on classical and that’s what had come up easily). It’s almost like a little performance, and it makes both of them smile. They skate with each other a lot, but never in an actual routine, and it feels amazing to do something at least akin to an actual performed routine.

It’s soft and sweet and gentle and they’re smiling the whole time, lingering touches making their way in between them the whole time. The sound of skates cutting through ice and an echoing song that’s achingly loving comes together along with the occasional light laugh from either Yuri or Victor as they skate around each other, side by side, holding hands, arms wrapped around each other.

Everything is tender and soft and Victor isn’t quite thinking coach mentality, he’s just thinking of Yuri. Just Yuri. And Yuri is just thinking of Victor.

They glide smoothly across the ice, side by side halfway through the song, and Yuri slowly brings his arms out, his leg into arabesque, an utter trust in Victor instilled in him as Victor’s arms come around him and Yuri comes off ice for a few quiet seconds. It’s not perfect but Yuri had been listening to Victor’s corrections and it’s undoubtedly the best lift they’ve gotten yet. Yuri’s form is good, Victor’s lunge is deep so Yuri is nearly to the ice. Victor smiles softly, squeezing Yuri’s thigh.

“Breathe, moya lyubov, breathe,” Victor cooes softly. Yuri lets out a breath and smiles as Victor lifts him back up and lets Yuri straighten too, his foot touching the ice, balancing evening out just second before Victor lets him go. Yuri keeps position, as told, a high arabesque, arms extended gracefully.

His left leg comes down soon enough, his arms changing position as he slides into a lunge that looks all to perfect to Victor who smiles proudly, skating over to him as Yuri straightens up. Victor glides in a smooth circle around Yuri before sliding one arm around Yuri’s waist. Yuri smiles widely at the touch and the two of them spin in a few circles before finally, the last touch Victor had put into the piece, a soft little dip that makes everything just that much more intimate.

The song is fading in the background as Victor and Yuri just stare at each other, panting softly, warm breaths into a cold rink.

“Krasivaya,” Victor says reverently, tongue in Russian, something that sometimes happens when he’s not thinking. Yuri has picked up on it though, on the basic terms of Russian so he knows exactly what Victor just said and it makes him beam.

Beautiful.

They’re kind of just staring at each other, forgetting to really say anything when a loud clapping echoes throughout the rink. Yuri blinks, both him and Victor straightening up and looking over to where Mila and Yurio are standing, Mila beaming and clapping and Yurio looking unimpressed.

“Beautiful!” Mila calls out. “That was wonderful!” she goes on. Yuri blushes a little but Victor just beams.

“Oh, you think so?” he inquires. Mila nods.

“Amazing. Sorry to intrude, Yurio and I thought that the rink was empty but then we heard the music and I just wanted to see if it was you two,” she tells Yuri and Victor.

“Oh, well, we’re just finishing up here,” Victor calls back. “We stayed a little longer than usual just to work on that swan dive,” Victor tells her.

“Oh, it looked great,” she says as Yuri and Victor slowly head to the gate at the rink.

“It was our first time doing it,” Yuri tells her almost shyly. “Victor wanted to work on lifts today,” he goes on as they step off the ice.

“First time?” Mila questions. “Well, I couldn’t tell.”

Victor looks absolutely gleeful.

“What did you think Yurio?” Victor questions, sitting down on the bench next to Yuri who’s already unlacing his skates.

“It wasn’t awful,” Yurio grumbles. Yuri smiles.

“Coming from you that sounds like a compliment,” Victor says happily. Yurio just rolls his eyes and Mila nudges him.

“Maybe Yurio and I can work on that swan dive,” she proposes. “I’m sure you would love to,” she sighs, looking over at Yurio.

“Don’t even think about it,” Yurio says, glaring at her. She smiles sweetly back.

“Don’t mind him, he’s just upset because Otabek couldn’t visit this week,” Mila tells Victor and Yuri. Yurio turns bright red, nudging Mila.

“Shut up,” he grits out.

“Oh, how is Otabek?” Yuri questions innocently, pulling off one skate. Yurio’s still bright red, avoiding eye contact.

“He’s alright,” Yurio mumbles. Victor pauses then grins.

“Oh, are you two…?” he begins. Yurio looks away.

“It’s nothing serious,” he manages. Victor immediately beams.

“Congratulations!” he exclaims and Yurio flinches.

“Victor, I swear to God,” Yurio says, shaking his head.

“Okay, okay, I won’t say a word,” Victor promises. “Tell him I say hi when you see him again,” Victor adds.

“Me too,” Yuri adds in, pulling off his other skate.

“Yeah, yeah,” Yurio grumbles. Mila sighs and claps her hands together.

“Well, I’m glad we got to see you two, especially doing that lovely routine.”

“Oh, it was nothing really,” Victor says happily.

“Well, you two should do it again sometime,” she says, smiling. Victor turns to Yuri, smiling too with a twinkle in his eye.

“I think we definitely will.”

[stopforamoment]

Part Three: TGIF! (Series Ten, Part 3 of 12)

Series Ten: In Limbo (Twelve Parts) Part Three: TGIF! (Series Ten, Part 3 of 12)

Masterlist

Book: The Royal Romance (After Book Three)

Pairing: Bastien Lykel x OFC Rinda Parks Word Count: 1,028 Rating: M for Language Author’s Note: Obligatory disclaimer that Pixelberry Studios owns the TRR characters and my pocketbook with those darn diamond scenes. OFC with all of her quirks is all mine. My apologies if Tumblr or I do something stupid when I try to post this. The keep reading link shows up on my laptop but not my phone. Ugh.

Thank you @asherella-is-a-dork-3​ for always being my sounding board! Thank you @liam-rhys​ for still being a part of the journey!

The songs referenced in the dance jam routine are

Jamie Barry “Delight” Crystal Method “Keep Hope Alive”

20syl featuring Rita J “Voices”

Series Summary: It’s the week of October 8th, the fifth week of school, and the first week without Bastien as the security officer at the school. Henry has until the end of the upcoming weekend to decide if they should stay in Cordonia or go back to America, and this will be the first week Rinda and Bastien do their long-distance . . . whatever it is that they’re doing. Or not doing. At least until Rinda knows if they’re staying in Cordonia or not.  

Chapter Summary: Laura and Rinda meet Maxwell. ‘Nuff said.

Part Three: TGIF!

Finally it was Friday afternoon. Laura needed to spend time with her father, so they left after dinner. Laura messaged Drake and Maxwell to let them know they were on their way, and Maxwell was eagerly waiting for them. “Laura? Rinda? And you must be Henry, right? I can’t wait to get started. Rinda told me that you’re all doing a hip hop and football routine, and I told her about my break dance opera. We were thinking I can do some break dance moves and balance a football. Let me show you what I’ve worked on so far. This is going to be amaaaaaaazing!” He started shimmying his hips and shaking his shoulders, and Henry started laughing when Maxwell opened the car door to grab Henry’s hand and start dancing with him. “Maxwell!” It was Drake. “Can you at least let them get out of the car and bring everything to their rooms?” “Oh, of course! Here, let me show you the way.” Laura and Rinda grinned at each other as everyone followed Maxwell to their rooms. . . . . .

One of the teachers created a mix with “Delight” by Jamie Barry, 20syl “Voices” featuring Rita J, and “Keep Hope Alive” by Crystal Method. The songs were very different, but the group thought “Delight” would be a good way to set up a brief storyline, “Voices” was perfect because there was already a football choreography video that used that song, and “Keep Hope Alive” would be a chance for Maxwell to show off his breakdance and hip hop skills. It was a compromise that Drake could live with since he refused to dance to a boy band song, no matter how much Rinda and Maxwell pleaded with him.

Henry was allowed to dance and practice with them, but he was under strict orders not to share the details with any of his friends. He danced with everyone, cheered, and gave constructive criticism—telling everyone what the kids would like and what they would think looked stupid. Everything Maxwell did was awesome. Everything Drake did besides the football tricks was kind of  . . . not as awesome. Sorry, Uncle Drake. Drake and Laura practiced their part of the routine, incorporating football drills and footwork with shuffle freestyle moves. Meanwhile Maxwell and Rinda practiced a few balancing tricks, and then Maxwell practiced his breakdance moves while Rinda cheered him on. Because Rinda didn’t have the football skills everyone else did, she was going to be more of a cheerleader throughout the routine. Rinda knew the kids would love seeing Mr. Walker dancing, and Mr. Lykel, if he could join them. But Maxwell would be the true star of the show, and Rinda and Laura were so excited that he wanted to be a part of the routine. His breakdancing and football athleticism were unbelievable, and he was going to be the show stopper at the end of the routine. It was late when they finished and Rinda needed to get Henry to bed, but Drake, Maxwell, and Laura were going to go downtown to enjoy the nightlife. Well, Drake was going to get dragged along while Maxwell and Laura enjoyed the nightlife. Then Saturday Rinda would work in the archives while Laura and Drake kept Henry entertained, and that evening they’d do one more practice. Hopefully Mr. Lykel would be able to join them, but he didn’t want to make any promises he couldn’t keep. . . . . . After Henry was in bed Rinda did some prep work and reviewed her notes for archival research. That was another reason she wanted to visit this weekend—to find a few last-minute things about Lord Neville Vancoeur and his father, the Earl of Cormery Isle. All Rinda could find was that Neville’s great-great-grandfather earned his wealth because he was part of an illegal smuggling ring that brought goods into Valtoria and from there into the rest of Cordonia. He was a commoner, and his title was granted by the King of Cordonia based on a recommendation from the corrupt Duke of Valtoria. This was generations ago, long before Liam became Cordonia’s king and Riley became Valtoria’s duchess and Cordonia’s queen. It looked like Rinda’s Spidey sense was off with Neville, although she still couldn’t understand why Neville would advocate for Kakos to be hired as security guard. It must have just been petty revenge, nothing else. From what Drake told her, Neville was a useless piece of shit and Drake got a kick out of learning Neville’s family used to be smugglers—and commoners.

Rinda also wanted to ask the archivist how many students and instructors actually used the archives. It was partly to find out how often the archives were used. But it was also out of curiosity to see who had access to the archives. Every time Rinda came to the archives something was out of place or missing. Yes, it made sense because the archivist desperately needed an assistant to help her. But when Rinda gave Bastien the list of missing items related to the construction of the palace library, and when saw Bastien’s reaction—or lack of reaction, because he assumed that professional mask—Rinda knew it was serious. She didn’t want to interfere in any investigation, but she also wanted to know what was really happening. This was her chance to casually learn more about . . . anything. Everything. The something that was still nagging at her, even though it should be a relief that she kept turning up dead ends.

When it was midnight she sighed and got ready for bed. Bastien told her the King and Queen were at a fundraising event that would run late, but he would see her sometime on Saturday. Rinda just needed to fall asleep so it would be Saturday, when she’d finally see him. She felt like a kid again, desperately trying to get to sleep on Christmas Eve so Santa would come. When she woke up it would be Saturday, and she’d see Bastien again.