#i live my fave to suffer apparently

[signanothername]

Why do you like Killer?

*Cracks knuckles* get ready

I don’t like Killer, I fucking LOVE HIM

He’s my number 1 fave au sans and has been for a very long time

Now to be clear, I’m talking about canon Killer here, i have mixed feelings about some fanon interpretations, some are good and i genuinely love them, others not so much

That being said, let’s actually talk about why i love my beautiful amazing wonderful son <3333

(All art used in this post is by Killer’s creator: Rahafwabas)

The very first hook for me is his very concept, the mere idea of a sans basically agreeing to go on a killing spree after so many genocide runs is just *chef’s kiss*

Killer knew it was wrong, he knew he shouldn’t, yet he did

Killer doomed himself by his choice, he could’ve stayed as “sans” but he chose to accept Chara’s offer, yet his choice came to be after he saw no point in refusing anymore (important addition and a correction here)

The canon comics had Killer saying that he’s the way he is cause he gave up, he said “you won, you’re the reason I’m like this”, he’s been on so many genocide runs that he felt a little part of him die each run, only to give up and go on said killing spree

It’s interesting how the player is a big part of Killer’s story, cause whether Chara was involved or not, the player is the root cause of his suffering

But what i love the most is that regardless of his backstory or reasons, Killer’s actions led to their inevitable consequences, and it forever changed him

The biggest change? His very soul, it went from a normal monster soul to his signature target soul, infused with Determination, something that supposedly hurts monsters, it’s almost like his soul was infected with it, and you can see how it physically affects him with the black liquid that constantly comes out his eyes, nose and mouth, and even at times, that sludge is too much that he chokes on it

And the amusing yet tragic parallel? Killer aimed to “feel something new” by his genocide runs, only to end up not feeling anything at all, at least at his default stage 2

Which brings me to the concept of his soul’s stages

I love Killer’s stages so so much, it’s such a beautiful unique and wonderful concept

Killer’s individual stages are sooooo intriguing to me, it shows Killer in a different light each time depending on which stage he’s in, stage 1 is the closest he is to being “sans”, the closest to he used to be, he can feel emotions and is generally back to his more lazy bones attitude, as well as his ability to actually show sympathy, and feel the pain he’s always in, but what’s interesting is that regardless of the fact he’s the closest to his old self in this stage, it’s still so clear that Killer isn’t really “sans” anymore, that no matter what, he truly had changed in a way that can never be reversed, a point of no return, even when Color saves him, cause his new habits? His fears? His pain? His trauma? They can never be taken away, Killer has to live with the scars of what he experienced

Stage 2 is who he’d become, he can’t feel anything at this stage, emotions nonexistent, and his nonchalant behavior towards himself and others is most apparent here, a parallel I like to think of is that Killer’s inability to feel anything at all is almost like prolonged sensory deprivation, when you’re deprived of sensory input/ simulation for long periods, your brain needs compensate, and so it does its job, Killer’s soul prevents him from feeling so he resorts to other methods (usually very self destructive) to compensate for his lack of emotional capacity

I also really really love how that especially during stage 2, Killer isn’t trustworthy, cause in stage 1 you can actually trust him to an extent, in stage 2 Killer’s actions, behaviors and mindset are completely unpredictable, but not because he’s random, cause he’s actually extremely calculated, yet regardless, his carelessness when it comes to his own life and other people’s lives is dialed to an 11 here, so he could either choose to kill/attack or simply stay and listen

we even get an actual in depth look at how Killer’s mind works in one of the canon comics, in which Killer contemplates whether to attack Dream or not as he listens to his own stages in his head, one of which tells him to Kill Dream, while the other tells Killer to talk to Dream first

How Killer comes to a final decision on whether he attacks or not is something I believe his calculated mind makes depending on the situation and the pros/cons of what act he chooses, Killer is pretty smart, he knows when to let his trigger happy self out and when to settle down

Stage 3 or the “crazy stage” is the stage in which he’d attack anyone in his way whether friend or foe, we unfortunately don’t have much canon info regarding this stage, but that ain’t gonna stop me from analyzing the shit outta it (and talk about how i perceive it)

I like to think of this stage as the combination between stage 1 and 2, yet it’s almost like his soul can’t truly decide on which stage to settle on and by extension founding stage 3 as a separate stage by itself, Killer becomes extremely unstable at this stage, his soul moves rapidly and it’s obvious he’s in pain cause of it, whether that pain is just emotional or both physical and emotional isn’t really clear, yet i’d like to believe it’s both, and i feel like Killer’s capacity to attack anyone at this stage is related to that pain, and something I really love to believe is that Killer can’t calm down enough to settle back to stage 1 or 2 unless he either wears himself out by fighting someone, or he’s left alone to his own demons long enough to pull himself together, if he were to be forcefully restrained during this stage, it would only serve to make it worse and prolong the time he stays that way (cough something i may or may not have made a quick comic about but never shared as always vjvjvjj)

Not to mention, one of the canonical responses Killer gives when asked if he’s ok at stage 3 seems to make Killer alternate between answers he wants to give between saying he’s “fine” and “i don’t know” which makes sense, Killer isn’t stable at all, it’s almost like his stage 1 self and stage 2 self are fighting over who gets to talk (stage 2 seems more dominant)

Yet the fact Killer is able to answer and comprehend his surroundings enough at this stage is very intriguing to me, cause it shows how much Killer is able to handle/endure (which is A LOT cause damn) and not only that, but it also gives us a very clear difference between this stage and stage 4

As for stage 4?? Woooh boi, it’s the stage I like to call “plunging into darkness”

We also don’t have much canon info about this stage, but one of the things i find interesting is the fact Killer deliberately keeps it a secret from everyone, when he tells Color about his stages, he only tells him up to stage 3, never bringing up stage 4, only for Chara to sneer at Killer that he shouldn’t keep it from his new BFF

It’s obvious Killer himself is very uncomfortable with the subject of stage 4, it’s apparent that it’s a stage that he rarely gets to, but it still bothers him enough to not want to even mention it, which makes sense, cause the comic we had of stage 4 shows that Killer gets to that stage when he’s reminded of all the murders he committed, and unsurprisingly, when he’s reminded of his brother, as what triggered this stage is actually a memory of Papyrus telling Sans to “see a puzzle”, only to be followed by memories of screams of anger, fear, and hatred of those he killed immediately afterwards, stage 4 is heavily related to his trauma

Not to mention it’s clear that when Killer gets to stage 4 he blacks out, he’s completely unaware of anything he does during this stage, and is only left to deal with the aftermath when he gets back to his senses, the fact it’s also a stage that seems to be “getting worse” is something that Killer definitely seems to hate

It sometimes makes me think whether Killer had gotten into trouble cause he killed someone Nightmare wanted alive while at this stage, cause with how he keeps it a secret, I’d assume Nightmare would be unaware of it for a while (comic idea perhaps >:) )

But y’know what’s better than talking about the stages?? Talking about Killer’s personality, behaviors and trauma

Killer can’t distinguish between what’s real or not, and it’s obvious he sometimes sees the world in the third person, as in he’s not completely there at times, not to mention the amount of voices he hears in his head, from his stages talking to him to hallucinations of Chara, Frisk and Papyrus, and oooh boi does he hate these hallucinations, the past obviously haunts Killer and it’s something he tries running away from constantly, yet he can never truly run from it when it follows him everywhere

Killer has a smile on his face most the time, but his attitude changes especially when Chara is mentioned, or when he’s reminded of his past in any way, he literally avoids food that reminds of his past life as “sans”, he freezes up at certain phrases such as “best friend” (something i also made a comic about that i never shared chchhchc)

He just absolutely hates to be reminded of the person he used to be, of all the things he used to have, cause in truth? They were all taken away from him by his own hands, only to be then forced to work under Nightmare, who only ensures that he never finds peace of mind

And the sad part? Killer let’s all those things hurt him, he lets Nightmare have his way with him, he lets Chara torment him, cause he thinks he deserves it, and most importantly, he deluded himself into believing that this is what he wants because it’s what everyone else wants, because it’s what the player wants

Killer even sometimes tries to force himself not to feel anything, cause come on, since when does he feel anything at all?

Killer, to put it bluntly, hates himself, and he thinks that his suffering is the Karma of what he’s done, and even at one point, he was going to erase himself out of existence cause he believed that’s what he deserved, as in Killer thought of himself as unworthy when it comes to Papyrus, that his brother doesn’t need him, that his brother is better off without him, hell he even tells Color that he needs to kill him if he ever reaches stage 3, it’s an obvious “ i want someone to put me outta my misery” attitude

Killer feels hopeless, and so he lets himself suffer thinking he can’t ever find peace or hope again

Yet the interesting part? You’d never know that Killer hates himself unless you’re a being of emotions (Nightmare and Dream) or someone who’s perceptive enough to notice Killer’s self-loathing like Color, that’s how good of an actor Killer can be, you’d think he’s a cold emotionaless killer but the truth only shines to those who actually can see through his act

Killer just has that amazing character depth and his story is genuinely so unique and beautiful, cause you in his story you can find details of other details within the details vhvhvjvj

All that? Mixed with really adorable little things like his love for cats, his silly attitude, his nonchalance with Nightmare, his capacity to be social with whoever, and his friendship with color? That is why I love Killer Anon <33333

[chaosology]

lurking ii

sam kerr x reader (social media)

sorry for such a wait? hope it is ok, you know i love a slowburn :) more to come. part i is here | materlist

liked by samkerr20updates, alinajj and 13,202 more

dailymailau Matilda’s Skipper Sam Kerr and the team has touched down in Perth ahead of Friday’s game. See the rest now 👉📷

kerrmylife mums home finally, the kids missed you

y/nlovies omg

margotmyheart need all the famous aussies to get together rn

liked by myy/n, samanthakerr20 and 842,220 others

y/nofficial back in the motherland!

harinef we miss you ☹️

mybestbarbie Does this mean she’s back in Perth?

mothery/n yes!! that’s where she grew up

alannakennedy So lovely to meet you! ❤️

y/nofficial ⚽️ ⚽️

wifeykerr 👀

mothery/n let sam and y/n meet please :’)

elliecarpenter 🥰🥰

liked by mothery/n, samkerr20updates and 9,721 more

y/nkerrtruther had to make an IG for all my detective work, but i swear my faves are hanging out!! Sam deleted her story so quick but it’s definitely the same place the team was eating at 👀 👀

mothery/n i’d actually die if we had proof of them even slightly interacting

kerrkerrkerr frrr i’d actually die

y/nkerrtruther keep up the prayer circles guys it’s paying off

emilia.jodes such a reach but ok

liked by y/nlovies, mothery/n and 23,459 others

y/nupdatesig CONFIRMED ✅ Y/N was hanging out with the Australian soccer team today!

y/nlovies yay!!! this is so cute

hesflower oh so she goes on holiday while Harry suffers after the break up? never liked her anyway

y/nupdatesig it’s literally her hometown… she’s visiting family

harrykisses she moved on way to fast for my taste… like bitch u should be CRYING

tillies.2023 grow the fuck up omg

leila.russle my faves together 😭

stylesy/l/n4ever did you see that blind that they posted earlier???

y/nlovies no i don’t follow Deuxmoi :(

mothery/n i just reposted it !!!

liked by alannasgoal, kerrkerrkerr and 7,827 others

mothery/n posted by Deuxmoi. Hoping the delulu H*rry fans hop off her dick 🙏

alannasgoal HAHAH caption

mia_y/l/n i always wanna believe but DM is dodgy asf

jason.cirello From one man to the next I see 🙄

mothery/n who said it was a man. also, fuck off

y/nkerrtruther let her LIVE omg

y/nkerrtruther compiling evidence as we speak.

mothery/n god’s work

liked by maccaslefthand, y/nlovies and 23,518 others

y/nupdatesig Y/N and a friend were at the Matilda’s game today in Perth! Sent by a fan who said she apparently was in the VIP box

flowersformini damnnn they became friends fast

nadiabelova can’t u just pay to sit there??

flowersformini nope! this one is team invite only

y/nkerrtruther ain’t nobody prove me wrong yet

amymarchapologist bruh “a friend” that’s timmy chalamet

liltimmy.tim Wait, are they dating? Why is he with her in Perth

anymarchapologist he’s come over with her before!! They’re old friends, he visits her family all the time

mothery/n she’s there for the hot girls. just like me fr 💯

harrysguitar stop forcing this on her, she probably just likes football

mothery/n the fuck she doesn’t lmao, she’s said it before

liked by y/nofficial, tchalamet and 239,729 others

samanthakerr20 Thank’s for having us, Optus! See you next week 😉

mackenziearnold Sick as 🔥

kerrkerrkerr killing whoever pushed u queen

y/nofficial thanks for the tix, sammy! ⚽️ 🥅

y/nkerrtruther IT’S HAPPENING

mothery/n OMGGGGG

alannasgoal they’re probably just friends tho

optusstadium Our pleasure 💛💚

liked by kerrkerrkerr, samanthakerr20 and 102,003 others

perthnow She’s home! See the beach pics today via our link in bio 🔗

mothery/n hawtttt

mackenzzzie i heard she’s not the only one who was there 👀

y/nlovie RIP harry u fumbled a baddie

styles_2856 shut up wtf she’s a cheater

y/nlovie pls stop pulling this out of ur ass omg leave her alone

y/nkerrtruther THAT’S SAM’S DOG

y/nkerrtruther HANG ON WHY DID SHE LIKE THE POST???

mothery/n omg she's looking for y/n content i swear

[matan4il]

Mileapo, Bas and Tong are still in Hong Kong (they have a week long trip there), doing the Man Suang tour today.

Mile was gonna touch Apo here, you can't change my mind:

It's the way Tong's the lead dancer here, they're all following his lead, but you can see Apo gazing at Mile instead, who then also shifts his look away from Tong to Apo:

Apo called Mile handsome today, 'coz otherwise it wouldn't be a day of the week ending with a Y:

And Apo also said that Mile's character in Man Suang, Chat, is just like Mile in real life, shines and brings on trust. I was just thinking about all of the bullying and abuse Apo had suffered in his career, and what it must mean to him, when he says Mile's smile makes everything shine, and makes him feel he can trust the world... ;_;

And then look at Mile's reaction!

They sorta hugged on stage:

I LOVE when they don't hold back and touch each other (both of these pics are from yesterday's Dior event):

I mentioned in my daily Mileapo post yesterday how in sync they are. Here's another example:

This gif's for the sweet @lostmykiliel, who was so into how close Mileapo were during one of the lives yesterday, because this moment specifically made me scream, too:

In the dinner live, apparently Apo casually told Mile to take off his shirt when it got stained. I'm fine, this is fine...

He also mentioned that he likes tigers.

Two seconds later, Mile's IG story (that this tiger lamp is in green and yellow, Mile and Apo's fave colors respectively, just makes it better):

And then in an IG post:

Also, we got a pic of Mileapo and the gang strolling last night, I liked that you can see Mile gazing at Apo:

(for more of my daily Mileapo/Kinnporsche, click here)

[redleavesinthewind]

elliot's 2023 fic wrap up

2022 version

alright friends it is once again time for me to review the (many) fics i read in the previous year and try to write a more or less concise rec list of my absolute faves (i wish i didn't have to chose but heh i'm not gonna subject anyone to 332 fics in 1 post - also wait only 332 fics? that's like. over 100 less than last year, what the fuck. anyway)

okay now first the part that interests no one but me (yes you may skip this) and that's the numbers part! i'm not making a whole elaborate spreadsheet to then not throw around cool numbers. anyway.

i've read around 4,932k words in 332 fics across 18 fandoms. that is much less than last year, and yeah, i've been generally less productive in 2023 but we don't have to talk about it. at least i have more variety of fandoms this time (let's ignore that it's only 2 more and also that from fandom 13 on there's only 1 fic per fandom)

i started out the year strong with 847k words across 72 fic in february (followed by 753k across 42 fics in january, and 621k words across 63 fics in march). it goes downhill for the rest of the year. eh it wasn't my year so what! 2024 is gonna be more filled with fic reading again!!!

my top 3 fandoms are so entirely unsurprising to me i am almost disappointed in myself. when did i become so predictable. top fandom is young royals with 166 fics! congratulations young royals, you are a very persistent hyperfixation, you didn't peter out after 2 months like i expected. Spot number 2 is taken by avatar the last airbender with 41 fics! giant leap there, but it's also funny because i fell into an atla rabbit hole late 2023 (as i do every few years) and it still got up to 41 fics despite uni not allowing me to read last semester (uni is evil). Same as last year, spn takes third place with 38 fics. speaking of persistent hyperfixations.......... *big sigh*

and that is it the boring part is over let's go to the fun section LET'S REC SOME FIIIIIICCCCSSSSSSS (under the cut)

JANUARY

bet you you'll ... (noraverse) (series) by @gh0sthugs | young royals, wilmon | teen&up | 52k words

a kid fic!! and such a sweet one too! i'm kinda weak for kid fics ngl, and nora is so sweet and wonderful, and the relationship that slowly forms between wille and simon is beautiful and comfortable. this whole series is just such a good time

spreadsheet notes: ah to fall in love with the dilf next door who also happens to be the ex crown prince of the country

A Royal Intervention by AnxiousAnaconda | young royals, wilmon | teen&up | 18k words

erik is being such a dumbass in this one. like, he means well, but he's kinda messing up and pissing people off (understandably). it's nice to get a view on erik that's not portraying him as this perfect guy though, and the fic is actually so much fun to read. and hey, the prime minister of luxembourg gets mentioned, which i was kinda waiting for in yr fic ngl

spreadsheet notes: big sigh... erik you fucking idiot. stop listening to august. also shoutout to xavier bettel apparently (edit: this aged poorly, fuck xavier bettel)

and each slow dusk by @if-fortunate | young royals, wilmon | mature | 49k words

okay. ooookay how do i even begin with this one. ohhh boy. okay. so. world war three. wille gets stuck in bjärstad with simon, many many things happen, it's about finding hope in a horrible situation and trying to live life despite everything falling apart around you. it's incredibly well written and something about it just has me in awe

spreadsheet notes: i don't know what it says about me that this is without a shadow of a doubt the best fic i have ever read in my life

Put Me Back Together and Take My Heart by @notalotgoingonatthisinstant | young royals, wilmon | mature | 50k words

i once again don't know what to say, this one is sooo good. simon is suffering and both wille and i hate it, but... but wille is there for him and ugh, they just... they just can't be apart. a story of reconciliation and healing from both physical and invisible wounds, and of making the right decisions for yourself

spreadsheet notes: ugh. UGH. my guys. MY GUYS. yeah let's go blackmail the queen

Department Six by @thisdiscontentedwinter | teen wolf | gen | 4k words

a fun short one about stiles and danny working for the fbi and being delightfully weird and mysterious

spreadsheet notes: HILARIOUS i'm in love with outsider pov always

FEBRUARY

There Are No Wolves in California by @thisdiscontentedwinter | teen wolf, sterek | gen | 5k words

you know, sometimes you see a fic you know is going to hurt you, and you've never clicked on anything faster. this is definitely one of those fics

spreadsheet notes: let's be wolves today yeah well derek what if i just break down and cry instead

you got my body, i got your body by @prince-simon | young royals, wilmon | explicit | 9k words

this one's technically part of a bigger series (which, definitely read that one too), but i'm highlighting this one cause... damn... this made me feel things... like, gender things... which is really weird cause wille's gender in this is very much different from mine BUT STILL

spreadsheet notes: how almost 9k of pwp gave me so many gender feelings i will never understand

Changing Channels: Queer Premiere by @emeraldcas, @fellshish | spn, deancas | gen | 27k words

this might actually be one of the funniest fics i've ever read. dean and cas are so stupid (affectionately) and all the crossovers are delightful (bonus that i knew all the other shows). everyone go read this it's gonna be the best time

spreadsheet notes: mel and fells have genuinely outdone themselves this is the most hilarious shit i've ever read

Catalyst by @stretchoutfics | young royals | teen&up | 3k words

a backstory for boris! this fic is within a series of other side character ficlets, but this one has a soft spot in my heart

spreadsheet notes: AAAAHHHH HE KNEW ABOUT THE RECKLESS DRIVING BUT DIDN'T BRING IT UP but also... him being a gay man trying to help the queer crown prince navigate his sexuality that's kinda nice actually, like boris understands at least a bit

The most beautiful boy by lovelysarcastic | young royals, wilmon | teen&up | 88k words

there's something incredibly grounding about this fic. the way it develops, the way wille rationalises his thought processes, the way the relationship between wille and simon develops... this fic just kinda sucked me in and spit me out again feeling... content and calm and... it's just... this fic is so beautiful

spreadsheet notes: dude i love this so much??? they're both so stupid??? i love them???

MARCH

All's Fair in Love and Hunting by @badjoices | spn, deancas | mature | 20k words

they're playing gay chicken but also are being incredibly competitive and stupid about it, and i'm just sorry about the shit sam has to witness. so many shenanigans in this fic

spreadsheet notes: they are both so stupid omg

["mi cotufita" started sharing their screen] by @omar-rudeberg | young royals, wilmon | explicit | 60k

so... this is a follow up to one of my favourite fics and it is a delight. very horny but also very sweet? and also for some reason there's porn. fun times! oh, and this fic made me cry. it really has the range

spreadsheet notes: how are they so horny it's so funnyyyyyy, but also if i were wille i could never look linda in the eyes again

A Light To Guide You In The Dark (Warmed By The Fire's Glow) by 80shairmetal | stranger things, harringrove | teen&up | 19k words

this is just... people taking care of each other out of the kindness of their hearts. finding comfort in strangers who become family. growing and helping each other. there's such a beauty to this one

spreadsheet notes: this is just..... comfort

did you see the love in my eyes, oh were you gazing through this disguise? by @tooindecisivetopickaurl | young royals, wilmon | mature | 67k words

fake dating my beloved. they're so in love with each other but they're pretending not to be while pretending... to be? i'm obsessed with them. but they're so respectful with each other and cautious of boundaries and they really are best friends who also happen to be obliviously in love

spreadsheet notes: love a good fake dating au they're so stupid i love them

flash like a setting sun by @playedwright | 911, buddie | explicit | 22k words

because you only realise you're in love with your best friend when you're scared you're losing him. that's the fic. and it's beautiful

spreadsheet notes: oh this is sooooo beautifully written and ugh just <333

Other people's secrets by @sflow-er | young royals, walty & wilmon | mature | 239k words

yooooo hello? so first off this is an outsider pov on wilmon which i am always obsessed with anyways but the focus isn't just on them, this is henry's story. it's a beautiful story about how friendships form and warp and change, how feelings manifest in different ways, how decisions and actions have consequences. it's an incredibly mature take on post-s1, and it's probably my favourite of the year. also ace representation!!!!

spreadsheet notes: ace henry my beloved <33 also love seeing wilmon from an outside perspective! such a good, well thought out fic with lots of healthy comminication <33

APRIL

if i stare too long by @brawlite & @toast-ranger-to-a-stranger | stranger things, harringroveson | explicit | 191k words

i haven't seen st s4 (and probably won't watch it) but that definitely won't stop me from reading harringroveson fic. i mean, who wouldn't look at those three and immediately want to see them together. the way their dynamic is written in this fic is peak, i don't even know what more to say. i also very much trust these authors with billy, and again i wasn't disappointed. there's just something in his head that's intriguing.

spreadsheet notes: this whole fic is such a vibe it makes me feel of hot summer chillin

MAY

Rewrite the Stars (series) by @in-amor-veritas | young royals, wilmon | mature | 137k words

definitely one of the highlights of the year, simon's whole life in new york... those scenes, they just show such a wonderful life simon has built for himself, and his relationship with wille doesn't change it, but he manages to fit in (after, you know, fun rom-com drama shenanigans). also. this is a kid fic. kid fics are my weak spot. rasmus is my new favourite little guy. also shoutout to luis best side character ever

spreadsheet notes: YELLING i love this fic sooo much it is everything

Where The Wind Will Carry Me by @1-life-to-give | young royals, wilmon | teen&up | 49k words

AND THEY WERE ACTORS PLAYING LOVE INTERESTS. do i have to say more? the tension guys the TENSION. also erik's side-plot i'm in love

spreadsheet notes: hopping up and down like a hyperactive chihuahua EN I LOVE THIS

Your love is my turning page (the t4t wilmon as girldads au) (series) by @willesworld | young royals, wilmon | teen&up | 17k words

i know i know another kid fic BUT!!!! t4t wilmon. makes it automatically superior. i'm not even kidding, add trans characters and i will like your fic (that i probably already like a lot) aroun 300000000 times more. but also this series comes for your feelings. it hits

spreadsheet notes: i am weak for t4t wilmon AND them having a biological child there's something so beautiful about it like that could be meeee ; siiimon i need to hug him and i need to hug wille they're gonna get out of this i prommy ; recovery and one step forwards a hundred steps back, but they made it there in the end ; they were so happy :((((

JUNE

A trace of dew by nuncflore | elden ring, this is too complicated | gen | 13k words

very elden ring-esque writing style, wonderful representation of whatever the hell is going on in the lore. hehehehehhe fucked up family ehhehehehe DIVORCE. my friends are so talented :))

spreadsheet notes: CAP I AM EATING YOU

Hanging from the Ceiling by @spicymiilk | spiderverse | teen&up | 6k words

for like. a week after i saw the new spiderverse movie i made miles 42 my entire life. that also meant reading this fic. and damn did this fic hit. i am still thinking about it

spreadsheet notes: i need more miles 42 content he is my favourite guy ever

The Darkest Little Paradise by @yourdemiurge | young royals, wilmon | explicit | 79k words

*holding you at gunpoint* read this fic. read it now, in this moment. you are not gonna regret it. believe me when i say you NEED this fic, you really do. doesn't even matter if you've seen yr or not. you're gonna thank me later

spreadsheet notes: THIS IS INSANE I CAN'T BREATHE MADY WHAT THE FUUUUUCK

JULY

Protected (series) by bastuba | young royals, wilmon | explicit | 69k words

hey do you ever read a fic and you just feel. so incredibly grounded because something about the characters feels grounded? like, they aren't grounded, but they still give off that vibe? idk how to explain this properly but that's this fic. also wille and simon cook together (i haven't read all parts of the series yet btw)

spreadsheet notes: incredibly grounded very mature how is wille like this ; i'd be like wille, always complaining about the heat ; they're soooooo. idiots. getting tattoos for each other ; i too would come out on a podcast about food ; SAFE SEX

AUGUST

The Season of Rebirth by @notalotgoingonatthisinstant | young royals, wilmon | mature | 30k words

part of a series, but i'm picking out this one specifically because it's soooo sweet!!! the title fits the fic so well, like yes it is the season of rebirth, but simon and wille's relationship is also rehashed in a very cool way, this fic is like one giant easter egg, i love it so much!

spreadsheet notes: wille taking the season of rebirth to recreate their early relationship, i am obsessed with him he's such a dumbass romantic

The Upgrade by @groenendaelfic | young royals, wilmon | explicit | 13k words

it's about the moment simon realises who wille is. that's why this fic is here. i mean of course also because it is very good, but mainly because of that moment

spreadsheet notes: the moment simon realised who wille is i am wheezing

Right Where You Left Me by @armandgender | spn, deancas | explicit | 94k words

if you're wondering why this fic is on my 2023 list instead of the 2022 list.... well that's because it took me almost a year to read the last chapter, and in terms of how my spreadsheet works, that makes it a fic i read in 2023. anyway. if you haven't read this fic yet, what are you even still doing here. click on that link right now. you want complex emotional situations? intricacies of ill-advised marriages? you wanna pick through abusive behaviour and encourage infidelity? well you're at the right place! also this has one of my favourite jack characterisations ever. it also made me go on multiple rants

spreadsheet notes: I FINALLY FINISHED IT AAAAHHHH I LOVE THIS FIC THE CABIN THE CATS JACK!!!!!

Alejito y Marimar (series) by th0ughts | red, white, and royal blue | teen&up | 18k words

OBSESSED WITH THIS DYNAMIC YOOOOOO. seriously the friendship between alex and martha is an expansion of the rwrb universe that is much needed, trust me

spreadsheet notes: the friendship i didn't know i needed in my life <333 ; they're just chillin!!!

SEPTEMBER

Change of Address (series) by hearmerory | avatar: the last airbender, zukka | mature | 134k words

okay. oooookay. strap in for this one, it is a lot. emotionally. like yes zuko is autistic, yes yes yeeees, i agree, also azula is treated like an actual person with actual mental issues, she deserves to be treated with care and this author definitely does that! this is the kind of series that makes me want to disappear in it, but it's also the kind of story i need breaks from, because it is so heavy (definitely check the tags for this one). zuko's relationship with sokka is written so thoughtfully and iroh is characterised incredibly and the author even included ursa in a way that didn't undermine everything that happened in the series before she appeared again. i can only recommend this one!

spreadsheet notes (there's lots of parts to the series, so this one is long): hhhh if i were ms jamieson i would have snapped after two days probably ; be nice katara!!!!! he's nervous ; i need to murder ozai ; and i need to murder zhao as well ; iroooohhhhh he should have just. taken the kids with him that first time he noticed something off ; yeah i think there was a reason why iroh never took zuko to the movies ; ozai needs to suffer ; i need to destroy ozai. violently and painfully ; iroh is the best uncle ever, zuko deserves all his kindness ; azula...... you don't have to fight for affection, it's not a competition..... they love you ; iroh should have taken her with him the first time around, she was like. 10, he could have just picked her up or sth ; ..... hakoda you idiot ; IROH BACKSTORY IROH BACKSTORY ; sokka and the plan that changed his life <3333 ; they are so soft with each other ; they all deserve all the therapy and support and yes sokka obviously you have adhd get with the program ; URSA??????? also i am living for sokka and azula's dynamic they are everything ; i don't. i don't understand her. i don't fucking understand her how could she not want her own children. how can she talk about them like that. like she knows them she doesn't know them she LEFT

Every night my teeth are falling out by @sulkybender | avatar: the last airbender, zukka | mature | 9k words

i was in need of some good zuko angst and oooohhh boy was i lucky to find this author. PEAK zuko angst. this fic in particular is very dear to me because it explores how mental illnesses would be handled in a world where there's practically no resources to help. i think we need that more

spreadsheet notes: yes well. how DO you deal with a schizophrenic fire lord in a fantasy world? (you stay with him and support him that is how)

OCTOBER

for years or for hours by @ghostinthelibrarywrites | the witcher, geralt/eskel/jaskier | explicit | 52k words

listennn i love myself some good polyamory fics, and this is the first fic i read for this ship and now i am OBSESSED with them. but this fic in particular.... the concept alone, like. what do you do when you thought the man you love was dead for 800 years, and then when he comes back you have another man you love. the answer is simple. polyamory. the two men you love also love each other. perfect coincidence.

spreadsheet notes: YO the concepts of witchers in modern times alone is sooo cool but adding in everything else? hello yes?

this is a love story by @achillestiel | supernatural, deancas | mature | 3k words

listen, i've never seen fleabag, but that's not the point. this is intriguing and funny, that's the point

spreadsheet notes: fucked up families and you want to fuck the priest hell yeah

The road not taken looks real good now by @stretchoutfics | young royals, wilmon | explicit | 90k words

it's not even the wilmon part i love about this fic (i very much enjoy it of course don't get me wrong) but wille and his kids. like, i don't want to spoil anything but like. wille's interactions with his kids are so important in this fic, and they're written so well. like, emilia is my favourite character in this, i kinda wish there was more with the kids honestly. this fic is definitely a highlight of the year, and to get back to wilmon, i do love how they're portrayed in this fic, how their dynamic plays out, and specifically how certain decisions do not depend on simon

spreadsheet notes: no but. the care put into this story. i can't--

NOVEMBER

Averno (series) by @sulkybender | avatar: the last airbender, zukka | mature | 12k words

a fascinating take on a fire lord zuko that was never part of the gaang

spreadsheet notes: HE JUST DESERVES KINDNESS but also he's a little fucked up WELL NO WONDER GIVE HIM KINDNESS ; i mean.... what makes a monster really ; well then let's get him out of his cell shall we (also hiiiii suki hello <3333)

Half Awake in Our Fake Empire by @hmslusitania | 9-1-1, buddie | teen&up | 34k words

another kid fic!!! but in a different fandom this time!!! seriously, giving buck a child fills so many of my life's needs it's ridiculous

spreadsheet notes: THEY'RE A FAMILY (thank you for giving that man a child)

a soldier (who carries a mighty sword) by @ghostinthelibrarywrites | the witcher, geralt/eskel/jaskier | explicit | 92k words

everything about this fic is wonderful!! the world(kaer morhen!!)building, the developing dynamic between geralt, jask, and eskel, ciri and yenn, the conflict, jask as a teacher!!!! aaahhhhh!

spreadsheet notes: they're my new favourite guyssss this whole fic is so cool, what they've done with kaer morhen <3333

Will We Last the Night by CSHfic & VSfic | avatar: the last airbender, zukka | teen&up | 143k words

this fic asks what if sokka had been stuck with zuko since the end of s1 and delivers a delightful answer. this is the adventures of zuko and sokka (and sometimes iroh) travelling through the earth kingdom. shenanigans ensue

spreadsheet notes: i am obsessed with this i'm just. i know it was only shortly but their life in ba sing se. obsessed

DECEMBER

Grudge Match by @catcas22 | elden ring | gen | 17k words

i'm not entirely sure how to explain this. it sure is an elden ring fic

spreadsheet notes: i don't even know what to say. this is ridiculous and brilliant and stupid and genius all at the same time. hell yeah suburban demigods

Lonely Digging by @toast-ranger-to-a-stranger | stranger things, harringrove | teen&up | 3k words

this is hilarious. go read it to unlock intense life-threatening flirting

spreadsheet notes: best way to flirt billy's doing everything right

***

(quick note: i’ve tried to find everyone’s tumblr handle, but i’m aware that not all the authors have tumblr/have it on their ao3, however if i somehow missed someone, i can go back and rectify that!)

if you’ve made it all the way down here i am giving you a kiss <3

[luna-rainbow]

Thoughts about this quote from AM about how Sam doesn't trust Bucky and will probably never completely forgive him for being the Winter Soldier?

Here's the link to the tweet I saw (I don't know how to include screenshots sorry 😭😭):

https://twitter.com/DianneR_99/status/1785867853238833641?t=NUhkilfwG2guZQx31-b82g&s=19

It's apparently from the official Marvel Studios' collector special TFATWS book.

Why is it so hard for people at Marvel to acknowledge that Bucky is a victim not some reformed villain?

(Also please feel free to ignore this ask, I know people have been dogpiled in the past for being slightly critical of AM and the last thing I want is for you to get hate because of me.)

It’s okay I think I’ve blocked most of them, or they’ve gotten tired of dogpiling me and blocked me. If I’ve missed anyone feel free to announce yourselves to get a block 😌

Thanks for bringing this to my attention!

I’ve said in other asks about AM’s comments on Bucky, I never blame an actor for not understanding the nuances of another character. That’s not his job. Understanding Bucky is the job of Sebastian Stan and the writers.

However, I know it’s tempting to compare him to CEvans, who had always spoken so affectionately of Bucky. Remember that Bucky’s story in the movies was complementary to Steve’s, meaning that CEvans had to understand Bucky's tragedy in order to understand Steve’s pain and guilt. To CEvans/Steve, it was important that Bucky was a wronged hero, because it rationalises why Steve would go such lengths to help him. For the entire trilogy, Bucky, and particularly Bucky's suffering, was very much impetus for Steve’s personal journey and growth. I've talked about the narrative motifs in other meta and I want to emphasise I don't mean this from a shipping lens - I mean that thematically, events that happen to Bucky have always been a major driver for Steve to make important narrative choices, and it is true even if you see their relationship as platonic.

Which…I guess brings us to the crux of the disk horse that brought about this tweet. No, Bucky is in no way important personally or narratively to Sam. Sam doesn’t grow or change because he cares about Bucky, although fortunately at least Bucky’s TFATWS arc involves him growing because he cares about Sam. We know Bucky is not personally or narratively important to Sam because of what AM has just said — Sam will always see Bucky as the guy who tore off his wings and kicked him off a helicarrier. Not a WW2 war hero, not a prisoner of war tortured into blank amnesia, not a survivor who had to rebuild most of his identity ground up, not a veteran living with PTSD without any social supports. These same views are echoed by his fans, who will scoff at everything I’ve said above and say we’re trying to “woobify a white fave” without knowing what woobify means. Sam does not care about what Bucky has been through, we know because the writing of the story has told AM that it is not important to understand who Bucky is or what Bucky has been through. All AM needs to do is to banter with this guy like he’s still annoyed at him over an incident 10 years ago when he had amnesia.

Again, I don't blame AM for this, because he can only work with what the writers have told him about the intended relationship between Sam and Bucky. And to be fair, he plays it like it is. At no point does it feel like Sam values or trusts Bucky beyond "annoying guy I put up with for work". I know some fans like to point to the Louisiana scene as proof that Sam trusts Bucky and has him as part of the family -- which would be great fanon if 1) AM didn't just contradict that and b) Sam spends most of the deleted scenes calling Bucky "the Winter Soldier" like the guy had any say in the moniker. And no, Bucky confessing his deeds to Yori is not Bucky reclaiming his identity as the Winter Soldier.

This is not an indictment on the ship, by the way, because you can wrangle canon to make it work, and shipping has been built on far less. I've got nearly 50k words on AO3 proving I've tried. But TFATWS canon is full of things happening off camera and the truth is...we never saw mutual trust and affection on camera between the two men. We saw two guys perpetually annoyed at and annoying to each other, and AM just gave the reason why.

[anruraiocht]

TOA Anniversary Munday

from neffi (thank you neffi!!)

Celebrating TOA and the people who contribute to make our group what it is.

Repost, don't reblog. Only fill in what you feel comfortable sharing!

Happy anniversary, TOA! Here's to many more years spent together.

Name: limit

Pronouns: they/them

Birthday (no year): 3/8 (thats march 8th for my non-americans)

Where are you from? What is your time zone? US | EST

How long is your roleplay experience? 10+ years

How were you introduced to roleplaying as a whole? i was doing warrior cats roleplay on scratch dot mit dot edu at age 10 brother

How were you introduced to TOA? n was talking about it on call and me and the oomfs decided to play a little prank on him when he went to the bathroom. it was really funny to be fair

Do you have any pets? three dogs (australian shepherd, shiba, chihuahua mix) and a cat (stupid)

What is your favorite time of year and why? (Season, holiday, general period) fall; i have pollen allergies that give me really bad headaches and live in a pollen bowl you can imagine my suffering.

Some interests and things you like/enjoy? i like to play and draw

What non-Fire Emblem games do you play? i'm a visual novel (otome, yuri, general non-romantic) and rhythm game type of guy. jrpgs and action rpgs when i'm in the mood

Favorite Pokemon type & Pokemon: the only pokemon type that matters to me is Dog

Tell us some funfacts and trivia about yourself! i used my wisdom teeth fun fact last yeah so uhhhhh did you know i can clap one handed but only with my right hand

How did you get into Fire Emblem? i think i saw awakening in gamestop and was like yeag i'll play that. my brother and i had just finished playing virtue's last reward together so we named our robins sigma and phi

What Fire Emblem games have you played? i've at least touched every game except for 1-3 (ymmv how much that means for each game)

First & Favorite Fire Emblem games: Awakening first, FE6 or Engage for fave

List your 5 favorite Fire Emblem characters across the series! honestly just look at my muse list for this one i only write my faves

Who was the first character ever to make you go “ooh I like this one in particular” and why? Can be any context and reason! lyn was the first fe character to really get me excited about fe i was writing essays about her in n's dms while in the middle of classes haha

Any Fire Emblem crushes? 😳 i am in love with nel like /srs /gen i opened engage on my birthday so i could hear her say happy birthday to me

If you’ve played (or are familiar with) the following games, who was your first S support? Who would you S support nowadays?

Awakening: Chrom (on purpose); married Olivia in my male run. i would still choose chrom Fates: kaden and keaton for birthright and conquest respectively. i stopped playing once i had my furry daughters. LMAO. Three Houses: never got that far. dorothea and mercedes probably. Engage: i have commitment issues and this is why i dont finish games

Favorite Fire Emblem class? Dark Mage(s)

If you were a Fire Emblem character, what would be your class and stats? Would you be playable? sticking with what i said last year; a mage that just completely sucks ass. repping my special girls by also being a character that makes people say "why would you use them"

If you were a Three Houses character, what would be your affiliation? i apparently said golden deer last year. yeah sure

If you were an Officers Academy student, what would be your boons, banes and potential budding talent? Reason boon, Heavy Armor and Faith Banes, bow budding talent

If you were an Engage character, which nation would you originate from? i was gonna say elusia but then i remembered solm is partially brazil inspired and i felt my father breathing down my neck to not betray his country

How do you pronounce TOA? TOE-uh

Current TOA muses: Miranda, Marni, Reginn

Past TOA muses? Volug, Lyn, Sophia

Who was your first TOA muse? If you no longer have them, can you see yourself picking them up again? Volug; he's comfortably retired.

Do you believe you have a type of character you gravitate towards writing? the three limit muse genders are as follows:

-depersonalization and/or self-isolation (we're not the same and never will be) -my siblings are all i have (but i dont know if love is enough to save us) -oh god where does the anger go after everything is over ..............the bonus limit muse gender is "man who is funny" ftr

Do you have characters or types of characters you don’t think you can handle writing, but wish you could? i think i could do anything if i tried hard enough (hubris speaking) but i would have to become obsessed with them first which is the hard part because i feel like i'm pretty picky

What kind of scenes, situations etc do you believe you enjoy writing the most? i've really gotten back into my complicated sibling relationship era lately. i like non-traditional family relationships in general and having to work to keep that connection alive. i like relationships between women (not necessarily romantic but also yeah i'm a lesbian so romantic too) and the nuances that come with that. Honestly i like talking about gender in general HAHA

Do you have any scenario in mind for your muse(s) that gets you thinking “man I hope I get to write this one day”? just happy to be here tbh :)

Favorite TOA-related memories? my friemds :)

Present or past tense? present tense but honestly i think im really bad at tenses. LMFAO.

Normal size text, small text, no preference? normal size is my default. i'll match whatever my partner prefers

Got any potential muse delusions to share? 😉 wouldnt you like to know weatherboy

[cain-e-brookman]

Favorite Character Poll

Thank you for the tag, @topazadine! i picked Orrinir in your poll! love a trauma boy with abandonment issues tbh

Rules: list all your main ocs and give brief descriptions of them. then, create a poll with their names and allow your followers to vote on who their favourite character is.

Characters are from my current WIP, The Name Witch. This is part of a series that has many more main characters but I'm really controlling myself here and only taking from the first book.

Uthyr Kri'Asphodel

Uthyr is, in his own words, a soft fussy solitary witch from the Uslarian coast who wants nothing more than to tend his garden, cook good food, and live a life of peace. He has a strong sense of justice, but a delicate heart full of loss and shame. He loves all animals but particularly loves frogs and amphibians as well as most bugs and snakes. His connection to the gods allows him to call on many magics, but he specializes as a healer. Despite being a genuinely kind person, he's anxious and grumpy around groups of people or people he doesn't know. Although a powerful witch, he suffers under others' perception of his standing. He long ago abandoned the name of his foremothers, taking the name Asphodel as the first of his line. Despite this, he doesn't regret doing so. His name, like his garden, is his pride.

Crucius, Formerly of Alilux

Uthyr's neighbor, a Fallen Mage who never speaks on his detachment from his god, though he rarely speaks at all. Quiet, indiscernible, and haughty, he plays most of his past close to the vest, giving very little away in the eight years he's lived next to Uthyr in his square house in the woods. He's branded himself with the only fear he'll admit to: two spiders burnt into the backs of his hands: a reminder of his banishment from his homeland into badlands infested with man-eating spiders. Despite his apparent detachment from anyone, he leaves the corner of the forest he shares with Uthyr every spring and only returns in fall.

Sister Alma of Bhréchin

A young woman from the island country of Bhréchin, new in the robes of the Death God's Order. In fact so new, that as of the first chapter she's introduced, she'd only been a Priestess for a week. Her youth becomes obvious in both her naivete and her love of frivolous gossip, though both belie a dark past she faces head-on. Her devotion to the Death God wouldn't be strange but for the grip of the Lifebringer's Cult in her country, who squash any worship outside of the Church under their boot. With a cheerful disposition, an optimism that could eclipse the sun, and a temper to be reckoned with, Alma is only not speaking when she's asleep. And even sometimes, she does that too.

Bran Yot'Aster

As the heir of the line of Aster, Ninth of his Name, Bran comes from a long line of witches and has been told his whole life of a prophecy that the fate of the world depended on his answer to the call of a twisted wind. When the Coven discovers the unraveling of the realm adjacent, The Other, they call upon him to face his destiny and save them all from the destruction of the Calamities...

Only to find Uthyr has beaten him to it.

Dethroned of his destiny, Bran is surly and adrift. When he joins Uthyr and Alma on their journey, he believes Uthyr's involvement comes entirely from a mistake, that he will see the moment where the prophecy declares him champion, and he finally finds himself deserving of the pedestal his family has always placed him on. Despite the predicament, he's steady and true, believing honesty and valor will light his path to glory.

tags under the cut! feel free to do this even if not tagged, and please tag me if you do! don't feel pressured, only if you'd like to o7

@illarian-rambling @emrowene @xenascribbles aaaannnnnd uuhhhh

@spideronthesun

[quidfree]

do you have a favorite character from TSH? if so, who and why? what about between papenathy?

i can’t believe this isn’t immediately apparent from my writing but my deathly serious tsh character ranking list goes like this

francis

judy poovey

everyone else

bunny & julian

also re papenathy as a rule of thumb whatever my #1 ship is usually includes my top 2 characters from a medium. i would never pair a flop with one of my faves*

*in tartt universe all characters are on the flop-menace spectrum but that’s why the pairings work internally

i was about to hit post when i realised you also asked why. ive already made multiple posts analysing the tsh charas or their relationships which i feel gets into the meat of it anyway so please peruse those tags for longer explanations but as a quick breakdown of my takes:

judy: i just find her so funny and refreshing throughout the whole book; she serves a great meta purpose in breaking the illusion of richard’s trustworthiness as a narrator; she’s actually one of the nicer people we meet relative to all the other assholes in richard’s life; her scenes speak to both her commonalities and differences with richard and i enjoy them a lot. also i love that she’s based on a real person who then did costuming for succession.

francis: do i even need to explain this… hes an icon. i love all the layers to francis (which we only even get to see bc him & richard are so #real worsties)- how he’s so dramatic and emotive but can compose himself at will, how hes both confrontational and cowardly, his random kindnesses and mean quips, his completely fucked sense of priorities at all times…. also his insane childhood & his self-made tragedy in the epilogues. enfant terrible!

i do also love richard for all that he’s a nightmare. hes suuuuuch a mess wrapped within an I Am Normal package #tarttcore. love the way he teeters between reckless self-destruction and “umm you guys are weird” judgment. his self-censorship and revisionist tendencies as a narrator. his outsider role and his actual desperate liking of his murderous rich friends who do not particularly care about him. hes literally 19…. he should have been in the club….

henry & camilla are both interesting but henry is like The Statue and camilla is The Shadow in the sense that theyre both not fully realised ppl bc of richard’s pov/pedestal. henry is kind of the mvp of tsh of course, greattttt lines, compelling character, drives the action, but ultimately hard to crack as a complete person and full of hubris that annoys me. i respect that he gave us hot takes and drama the whole way through. camilla i enjoy the pieces of- beef with judy, french post murder fever, mysterious phone calls, entanglements- but lbr she is the least characterised individual in the book and thus hard to connect to outside of fanon. i still like her tho i esp enjoy how unbothered she is living her own side stories. and i just know she suffered incalculable martyrdom running amongst those men.

charles is more of a real person to richard than the above and he compels me also. such a jarring (if telegraphed) shift from part i to part ii. in a way his descent into darkness humanises him the most bc at least hes torn up about the whole murder business in the first place! but by god his relationships are fucked.

bunny is at best funny. but hes just like. a conservative asshole whos not even smart enough for the course he nepo-babied his way into. and then julian has fun literature class bits and is admittedly also funny (he is so not willing to get dragged into the drama it’s comical) but is just a nefarious elitist weirdo. they get nothing from me.

[navree]

Thouggts on alys? And alysmond

Oh God do I have thoughts on Alys and Alysmond, anon, you have no idea. Alys is likely going to become my second favorite character in the entire show the second she shows up (provided they don't screw her up) because I literally just love her so very much. And Alysmond is literally peak for me, they're my number one ship on this show.

I think Alys is a very interesting character. There's a lot about her that's shrouded in mystery in Fire&Blood, because she's not a Targaryen and she was only involved with the Targaryens for a very brief period of time, but even the stuff we do know lends itself towards a fascinating character. Alys as a character is a type of person we don't see a lot in stories in Westeros, particularly when it comes to points of view. She's a bastard, but unlike our other fave bastard, Mister Jon Snow, she's not treated nearly as well (not to say that Jon didn't suffer at Winterfell, he clearly did due to his bastard status and also the way Catelyn treated him). For one, she's a woman, which in general is cause for concern when living in Westeros, and for two, Lyonel treats her far worse than Ned treated Jon. Ned made Jon a part of his family, did treat him as his son, raised him as a brother to his trueborn children, and while he didn't do much when it came to Catelyn's shit of "oh he can't sit with us on Such and Such occasion because he's too bastardly" and "oh yeah no once you leave I'm gonna kick him out of the house at the ripe old age of fourteen unless he decides to join the cult border patrol that tells him to never have a family or a wife or kids and also has to fight ice zombies" he does still love Jon and care for him and look out for his emotional and physical wellbeing as best as he can. None of that seems to be present for Alys and Lyonel, by all counts he looked at his own daughter and made her a freaking servant! Sir that is your child! So Alys comes from this place of living amongst the privileged but being disprivileged in so many different ways, due to her birth status and her gender and her class, to say nothing of being an apparent old gods worshipper in a location of Westeros that was pretty firmly vested in the Seven.

I think Alys was very molded by her circumstances, that she's not just crafty and fiercely intelligent but also incredibly observant, that having been someone who would likely be in the "should be seen but not heard and even then barely seen" category of life, knows what to look for and how to use the information she can process to her advantage. I also think that Alys is a very neutral person, personality wise, very even keeled, given that we see her being the level head in several situations, like stopping Aemond from killing that messenger. Alys is gonna live her life to the best of her abilities and not feel too much about things, because having strong emotions about nonsense isn't really useful for surviving in the real world and as such doesn't serve. But she's still got her moments of softness. For one, we know that she had children prior to her son with Aemond, and also that all of them were stillborn, so that speaks to some intimacy with someone at some point, and, given that she's a "woods witch" and that people do have access to shit like moon tea in this world, a desire to at least have a family rather than just be firm on contraception. I also have a theory that she and Larys were actually close when they were younger (since I think she's around the same age as Harwin and Larys), due to their respective disadvantages drawing them close, the servant bastard daughter and the clubfooted second son. I like the idea of them hanging around in the forests around Harrenhal, Larys looking for special bugs and Alys wanting to gather fun herbs that she'd heard about to see what they do. I think that they're actually close, and that Larys probably does consider her the person he's closest to emotionally (my own pet theory is that he sent a warning to her about the fire at Harrenhal so that she'd be able to survive, and knowing she wouldn't stop it due to likely not having any sort of relationship with Harwin and her antipathy towards Lyonel and the way he treated her in childhood). I also do want to remark on just how smart Alys must be, to have survived in such a dangerous world for as long as she did, and to thrive. I picture her as someone who is oddly charismatic, charismatic enough to win over the people at Harrenhal in the absence of their actual liege, and keep herself alive. Harrenhal was taken by the Blacks first, and Daemon is not a very patient or understanding person, not to mention something of a raging misogynist, so it's entirely possible that the situation could have gone badly for her if she hadn't played it really well, which she clearly did, since Daemon let her live. She's smart and resourceful but also true to herself to the utmost degree, doesn't hide her magic or her old gods worship (which she likely took some sort of comfort in during her early years) and has made herself a survivor without losing any of her humanity in the process. She's so rich and layered, she has the potential to be the best character in the entire GOT/HOTD TV franchise.

As for Alysmond.........oh baby. It makes me fucking nuts. Even the way it starts off is so feral, given that Aemond basically wiped House Strong out in a single day and for some reason, the only person he didn't kill was Alys. We have absolutely zero clue why he did this; did she just not show him any fear? Did she appear apathetic enough about the deaths of the other Strongs that he thought it was interesting? Was there just something about her? Who knows, but from minute one there was something about Alys that jumped out to Aemond, and like vice versa. Again, Daemon took Harrenhal first, spent time there, and as Lyonel's only child in the castle, Alys would have likely engaged with him. But there's no record of them having an affair, and it's not because Daemon's a faithful family man who'd never dream of cheating on Rhaenyra; Alys is likely the one who just was not interested. But something about Alys and Aemond drew them to each other, and there's so much space to think about why. Aemond's had a much easier life than Alys, but that doesn't necessarily make it an easy life in and of itself, he's had to deal with the bullying and the being attacked and maimed and all the trials that came with his physical disability after losing an eye, to say nothing of the emotional issues he's had already that have only gotten worse by the time he's at Harrenhal (remember, his time at Harrenhal comes after Blood and Cheese happen as revenge for his "murder" of Lucerys and after Aegon names him regent after saving him at Rook's Rest, Aemond's got so much guilt and fear and self loathing and family issues wrapped up in him by the time he gets to Harrenhal it's a wonder he didn't explode). Having both had childhoods feeling disconnected from their families, albeit in a different ways, is a connection that they actually share, feeling like you're living on the margins of your society due to things outside your control is a connection that they share, even just feeling like they don't fit in and that they're wrong somehow is something they share, though Alys probably got over that a while ago while Aemond is still young and angsty. I also see Aemond as someone who's felt that he has to work for love, that it's conditional (I blame Viserys) and who feels that if he's not perfect, the people he cares about most, like his mother and his siblings, are going to stop loving him, and he's never had a relationship where he feels he can be himself with no reservations and whatever softness the other person is feeling won't go away. His relationship with Alys, even before it got physical/romantic, is likely the first time in his life where he's feeling like he doesn't need to strive for someone's love or affection. For Alys, Aemond's likely the first person who actually sees her as someone entirely herself. We know from Jon's ASOIAF chapters that part of the issue with a bastard growing up in the lord father's castle is that everyone they know sees them as "Lord X's bastard" first and foremost, even members of their family (like the way narration about Jon from other Stark kids have them refer to him as "bastard brother" even if they have a good relationship, like Arya or Bran). Everyone around Harrenhal, for her entire life, views Alys through the lens of "Lyonel's bastard daughter" and "Larys's bastard sister", and Aemond is probably the first person who doesn't, who just sees Alys Rivers as Alys Rivers, and even if she's less emotionally fragile that Aemond just through age and experience, that's still profound. I also like that there's a lot of room to play with how they went from just cohabitating Harrenhal to being out and out lovers. Aemond could tell her the truth about Luke, Alys could use some of her woods witch knowledge to help him with some chronic pain with his eye, there can be a moment where Vhagar lets Alys touch her in a sort of "Meemaw approves" thing. The possibilities to build up to them as a couple are endless and also extremely compelling. And romantic.

And once they become a couple, it's romantic as all Hell. For one, even with some of the power dynamics involved (Alys is technically a prisoner of war), it's still a pretty equal relationship. They listen to each other and their counsel, given that Aemond is willing to stay his hand when Alys stops him from killing that messenger, and that this does seem to be a relationship where they were both clearly enthusiastic and also able to trust each other, like Alys not being worried once Sabitha Frey takes her hostage after Aemond leaves. And the canon stuff is just...Aemond being so into Alys everyone can tell, being so besotted that he can't bear the thought of leaving her, having left Harrenhal and then doubling back, into enemy territory, to set an entire castle on fire just so that he can save her and get her back. The way that after that, he literally refuses to part with her, and they stay together until God's Eye, until the literal end, and the horrible doomed tragedy of the fact that they both likely knew that God's Eye was It, given that Alys has her old gods magic that helps her see the future and Ewan said that thing about Aemond having some sense of when and how and where he's gonna die, ugh the Tragical Romance. And I know there are people who are like "Aemond just dicking around Harrenhal and get a girlfriend while his family's in trouble makes no sense for his character" but like here's the thing. For one, he's not dicking around, he and Criston are in the Riverlands for a reason and they're doing shit, not to mention this happens pretty late in the game. For two, he can't go back and just retake King's Landing. Beyond the logistical nightmare, he needs to worry about his family. No one knows where Aegon even is, and most importantly, Rhaenyra does have hostages in King's Landing, Aemond's mother and Aemond's sister, that she can absolutely kill if Aemond's attempt to retake King's Landing isn't one hundred percent perfect on the first try. So him staying at Harrenhal and doing what he needs to do for the war out in the field is in fact in character, and if he happens to fall hopelessly and desperately and utterly in love with the hot goth witch in the meantime, that's just one of the perks. And it is love, I wholeheartedly believe they're in love. It's the coming back to Harrenhal that clinches it, if Aemond didn't really care, he wouldn't have done such a fast U-turn on Vhagar and gotten so vicious, but that's exactly what he did because maybe he can't save his family but he can save Alys, save their unborn child, allow himself to be well and truly happy for a little while longer. And if Alys didn't care, then she wouldn't have gone with him afterwards. She wouldn't have left Harrenhal with him, or stayed with him through their journey, or told him where to find Daemon, or even stayed to watch him die. Plus, I mean, the last thing Aemond ever does with two feet on solid Earth is kiss Alys goodbye, most romantic shit I've ever seen.

Her dragon. His lady. His Alys.

TL;DR I think Alys is going to be a top three character for me when she appears cuz she's already a top ten character for me in Fire&Blood, and Alysmond's relationship is literally so important to me it's the epitome to true love on this show no one else is even going to touch it.

[addaxus]

One of my faves right here… 💚

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

New Fortune My Ass! Pt. 1

This very small town of Nueva Fortuna was not as bustling as Clarence anticipated it would be, but considering the fact that they’d built the damn railroad off the main stretch meant that hardly any activity would pass through. He looked around at what little patrons sat around the tables and grumbled to himself.

He would be proud of the whole buying this saloon thing if it hadn’t been for that fact. He’d thought about writing to his sister, Rosemary, but… he knew she wouldn’t be impressed. Too many outlaws and raving drunkards were around too.

He glanced sideways at the parchment and feather hidden under the bar near some alcohol bottles and pinched the bridge of his nose. Maybe he’d never write it. Or maybe he hoped the letters he does write never make it to her.

Besides, Clarence was also not fond of the night sky under the roof of a saloon. This time in the evening tended to bring in more of the wanteds, bandits, outlaws, and whatever was out there to cause trouble for common folk.

Even though he’d been foolish in his younger years in identifying as one of them, he found maturity and a more peaceful way to live life. His days were numbered and his old barking mercenary bones needed a long rest. It didn’t help that he now stood behind the counter of one of his more unkind endeavors. Apparently he could not entirely escape the ways of the untamed west.

That was when he opted to close the doors and burn out the lights when a quiet creaking of the swinging door caught his attention.

“Saloon’s closed for the night.”

He was finishing up cleaning and shining glasses for the next day, when a younger male came stumbling in, tripping over his own feet as his determined legs ached to keep moving.

Clarence was agitated, tired from the long day.

‘This damn day just won’t end, will it?’

“I said, the saloon is closed for the night I’m not in the mood for any antics from lowlife—“

He’d turned around to threaten them out, when all he saw was a young boy slumped heavily over a leaning chair. He was unresponsive and looked entirely exhausted, trembling from the cold and coughing weakly as his dry lips failed to move.

“Well I’ll be the devil’s bargain, where did you come from?”

Clarence approached cautiously, but upon more interested inspection, the boy was terribly dehydrated and malnourished, entire body almost caked in dust. He was wrapped in an odd looking poncho.

‘When did they get hoods?’

Clarence had never seen that before.

He didn’t waste any time filling the last of his daily water supply into several cups, then fixed a shot of whiskey on the side.

“Drink up, now… easy does it.”

Still with his jaw tilted to rest on the back of the chair, Clarence helped get a few slow and gentle sips of the water into his parched mouth.

This seemed to perk him up a bit, eyes widening, realizing the taste of water was quenching his needs. It ran down his throat smoothly, and he leaned forwards for more.

He’d finished two glasses before Clarence waved the whiskey glass in front of his nose. The black-haired boy was awake now, gladly accepting the glass with a shaking hand, but Clarence pulled the glass away and put it on the bar. He hadn’t intended for him to drink it.

This kid’s been through hell and back.

“That do it, lad? You must have been stranded out there, no horse, no ride? What’s your name, boy?”

Although his voice was still scratchy and hoarse from the dust, the boy slowly straighten his head and met Clarence’s gaze with eyes riddled with suffering beyond those gleaming emeralds and the dull, buffed shine that glazed them.

“Bruno… Mister.”

[pyro-madder]

3, 7, 49 for Damian! Aaaand since I got some Insight, 2, 18, 25, 28, 48 for Gascoigne!

YEAAAHHH bring the old men 👏

Damian

3. What first drew you to this character ?

Proxy with Micolash who was already a fave, and how he saved my ass against Ebrietas ���😔 i tried to solo my first run as much as possible to push my own skills (+ most summons in bb aren't helpful let's be real) but once i was pit against both ludwig and ebby i lost patience lmao

for extra lore, you know how when an enemy has an attack that eats you, they'll swallow instead of spitting you back out if it kills you ? i witnessed Damian suffer that fate and the image is forever burned into my mind, I owed him after that--

7. Does the character's age matters to you ?

Yes !! The old men (+ Eileen) are one of my main reasons for enjoying bb as I do, most of my media revolve around children or teenagers (even with older support characters) so it's both a welcome change of tone and very inspiring regarding society being Weird about aging. Damian and all the others have lived and forged themselves and are still out there kicking ass 🙏 godspeed to him for having been present from the start in my narrative, my man saw it all fr

49. What's you favorite personality trait in this character ?

It's so easy to imagine him as Micolash's damage control and a very level-headed man. Very collected and pragmatic without being unkind :]

Gascoigne

2. Did you always like this character ?

Homie is the reason I picked up the game at all LMAO back in the days where it was just my brother playing I already found him to be a cool boss, then I took a good look and thought "oh he's. hot actually"

18. Do you prefer to see this character suffer or know peace ? Angst or comfort ? Both ?

Dasdfg both, as all characters I like. I may be hellbent on saving his daughter in my delusionnal little head but his and Viola's fates are really important to the writing imo, so I go with it. But also like to think of slightly better days where he hung out with the other Hunters of his generation + started building his family (which was bound to end tragically) :')

25. What kind of fan-fiction do you read about this character ? If you don’t read fan-fics about them, why not ?

... this is normally the part where I say I will only speak with my lawyer present, but I'm not exactly subtle about it so. mad sex with the Hunter ok thanks bye--

28. Do you get defensive about this character ? If yes, then why ?

I haven't had any reason to be so far. I'm more invested about his daughters and how I'm convinced the older one is sus which is not a popular opinion apparently--

48. What’s your favorite physical/design feature for this character ?

His voice acting hands down, but BOY it's all so good. The stature, the outfit, the bandaged eyes, the beard and perpetual snarl...

I also have to mention one of the last things I noticed on him : the little chain belts with blue jewels ! I'm a sucker for little trinkets and they're such a discreet but pretty touch. So much that I had the Hunter of my headcanons loot one alongside his scarf as keepsake sdfghjk

[yamcat]

ten faves in ten fandoms

I was tagged by the ever lovely @saltedpin , thank you for thinking of me, this was so much fun <333!!!!

Golden Kamuy: this is a tough one for me, because one of the things I love the most about this story is just how well written and intriguingly fleshed out each character is, especially in relation to eachother and to the story itself, but I think I will go with the OG who captured my interest right away, Tsukishima Hajime. Yes we love an unhealthy and obsessive relationship with authority and sense of duty, throw in the belief of living on borrowed time and therefore a life that can't possibly belong to you anymore, and I'm all yours.

Haikyuu!!: the thing is that I've always been IN love with Daichi, but Oikawa is the one who I have always felt the strongest for. A proud dramatic overachiever who cares too much but pretends like he doesn't, genuinely passionate about what he loves to the point it risks consuming him; a tough bitch as much as a sensible nerd. I care for him a lot.

HunterxHunter: Gon, my precious little feral kid who gets traumatized over and over again, but still decides to be kind. What I love the most about him, though, is that he is never portrayed to be inherently good; he is stubborn and occasionally selfish because of his nature as much as because he is just 12 y/o and he doesn't know any better, which is what makes him as lovable and charming as he is.

Helluva Boss: I know I'm not too loud about it, but I have been utterly in love with this show for a good couple months now, as well as with the helluva boss himself, Blitzø. He is a raunchy little imp who severely struggles with self-love and therefore does his best to push away every opportunity he has at a good and healthy relationship because who could possibly love him, right? but he genuinely TRIES, and sometimes he succeeds too, plus, he's still always there for the one he cares about. and honestly, he is just so fucking funny, he has my entire heart.

Dungeon Meshi: Laios, the supposedly knight archetype who does eventually fulfill his destiny, but in the messiest way, unwilling, and at the cost of what he loves the most. There are so many characters I genuinely like in this story, but I am too fascinated and amused by Laios' obsession with monsters and how it makes him so smart and so dumb at the same time to not love him the most. I'm sorry, apparently I have a particular liking for people who are extremely passionate about what they love.

Star Trek: I was unsure about who to choose between Spock and Kirk until the very end, but I have to say Spock. His double heritage and the way he navigates it, all the suffering and treasures he finds in feeling less and more, misunderstood and capable of understanding more than anyone else the multiplicity that deeply characterizes the universe he explores and is so curious about. Rarely I have empathized so much with a character before. Plus, he can be a dramatic bitch, Spirk divorce ark Spock is my favorite Spock.

Tiger & Bunny: honestly both of them, but for the sake of the game I shall say Bunny a.k.a. Barnaby Brooks Jr., my favorite traumatized model face babe with deeply rooted trust issues who completely falls in love with a hot loser single dad who has the tendency to help everyone else but himself. A match made in heaven. And me with them

LOTR: Frodo Baggins. No one understands him like I do....

FMA: my heart is divided between Olivier Armstrong and Riza Hawkeye, because what's not to love about strong, gorgeous, mature, cunning, intelligent, trust-worthy, powerful women? Different flavors, but equally delicious.

Saiyuki: Genjo Sanzo. In a few words, a trigger-happy, easily annoyed, short-tempered Buddhist monk who overly smokes and drinks. In a lot of words, please read Saiyuki.

I'm tagging whoever sees this and wants to do it, it is a lot of fun! And of course, please feel free to @ me if you so wish to!

[aziraphales-library]

Hello wonderful people! Your blog is amazing and so are you!

I was wondering if you had any fanfics where Crowley has an eating disorder? I wrote a fanfic about it called “Save me” (by atimefeeler) and now I can’t stop thinking about how little Crowley eats. It could be a human au or not but I was wondering if there were any fics about that.

Thank you so much!

Hi and thanks! Here are some fics in which Crowley has an eating disorder. Mind the tags on all of these, folks!...

The Only God I Pray To by Myusernameisineffable (T)

Crowley’s food issues post-Armageddon’t. A short one-shot eating disorder (not graphic) fic because I apparently love giving my faves ED’s. No real slash, but some developing relationship stuff between the best celestial couple ever, Aziraphale and Crowley.

all the days of thy life (dust shalt thou eat) by slipstream (M)

“I wish you would at least try some,” says Aziraphale.

Crowley stares at the loaf of bread cooling on the counter, fat and glazed gold and only slightly singed at the furthest edges. Folds thin arms over his bony chest.

His stomach is a hard, round lump at the center of him, weighing him down. Anchoring him to the earth.

And at Least I Understood the Hunger I Felt by Primarina (T)

Crowley's body decides that it's tired of living without food and starts giving off alarm bells. Aziraphale helps him through it. Lots of food porn, light kink, and a very content snake demon.

An Unquiet Grave by Butterbeerandbutterknives (T)

with·er verb 1. (of a plant) become dry and shriveled. 2. cease to flourish; fall into decay or decline.

Or, a look at Crowley's less than stellar eating habits throughout the millennia.

Where’s My Mind? by ebullience24 (T)

See, the thing is: Crowley is tall. His height had caused a few stares back in the days where the tallest man stood at five foot five. And, because of his height, one might be inclined to describe him as slender with spindly fingers and snake-hips. The pun is never intended on that last one but it stands true nonetheless. And Crowley would be likely to agree with these statements: he is tall and slender and spindly and snake-hipped.

But what Crowley would be less likely to agree upon is the statement that he, Anthony J Crowley, is underweight.

OR: Crowley has an eating disorder. Trigger Warnings now and at the beginning of each chapter.

Argumentum a fortiori by PeturbingPrism (E)

"From the stronger argument", the Good Omens Alternate Universe barristers fic you never knew you wanted!

Crowley could be a rising star at Brimstone Chambers, if he could control his temper and apply himself. Aziraphale is on the edge of losing not only his job, but his entire family over a disagreement over which organisations he has granted funds to through his beloved Miracle Foundation, the philanthropic arm of his his family's angel investment firm. Anathema tries to help her old friend out by introducing him to the only lawyer she knows who might be crazy enough to take on the might of Celeste & Sons.

Two people with different ways of dealing with their issues strike up an unlikely friendship, leading to love and healing. Lots of bickering, bookshop silliness, boozing, bentley rides, shared desserts and blushing.

And your fic...

Save Me by atimefeeler (T)

When Anthony wakes up in a hospital with no memory, he finds himself alone with nothing but a vaguely threatening note written in blood. In an attempt to save himself from an untimely death, Anthony goes about his life as if he wasn't currently suffering from memory loss. It really is too bad he can't figure out if his stunning partner if trying to kill him or not. Going on a date with him couldn't hurt, right?

...

“Do you think perhaps you could come over to the bookshop?” Aziraphale asked, “I would so love to see you, dear.”

“Yeah I- no!” Anthony nearly shouted and then clamped his hand over his mouth.

“No? Why ever not?”

“I can’t,” Anthony scrambled for what to say, “I’ve got-”

‘Diarrhea’ was on the tip of his tongue, but then Anthony caught a glimpse of his reflection in the black phone screen and blurted, “-an eye condition.”

...

or- Crowley has no idea why his plan to pretend he doesn't have amnesia is proving to be so difficult. It might be because the poor guy is actually a demon.

- Mod D

[worldofgoo]

ask prompt from a few days ago im answering late because ive been out. ty @divinerevelation !! and these are the prompts im using. uhh it turned out long so watch out

(im answering this for my oc cobalt, you can see pictures of him in his tag on my blog)

🍎 [RED APPLE] Who does your OC value above all else?

As he exists right now, nobody at all really? It’s basically the conceit of his character that he’s closed himself off from any social connection and just lives in his own little world focusing on his work mostly. I guess I could say “himself” but he also doesn’t really take his own agency very seriously, but I guess he does take care of himself which does indicate some level of value he places in himself.

He will undergo changes as the story progresses but I’m always very uncertain and conflicted on the story so... can’t really answer accurately for that right now.

🥭 [MANGO] What colours best represent them and why? Does this differ from their favourites? 

Bluueeeeee:3 All my ocs are color coded in my head, but I lean really hard into it for the main cast of this story, each one being one of the 6 main colors of the color wheel. Have had various thoughts about what those colors could mean symbolically, esp their placements relative to each other, but ultimately I think it’s mostly about the associations I have for them in my head.

Mostly I kind of see blue as a distant cousin to purple? Purple is My color, and I give it to a few of my faves/self inserts. But I kind of view Cobalt as kind of a “hue shift” of like, myself and my personality? If that makes any sense. He is definitely Blue. Like deep intense screen of death blue. I guess it happens to line up with the view of blue = sad but he isn’t exactly sad just kind of... closed off? His coping mechanisms leave him fairly comfortable in day to day life. And I think I also value this shade of blue for its intensity and he doesn’t lose the association when he opens up more, meaning its associations aren't always negative.

Is it also his favorite color? I kind of like the idea of it being assigned to him by chance (happening to have blue items, being assigned a blue uniform, things like that) and he just became accustomed to it and often has blue things out of habit. I don’t know what he would consider his “favorite” color if he had to choose? I assigned him pink the other day bc it matches well with blue lol.

🍈 [MELON] If they had to be put into a box, what box would it be and why? 

If you mean box trope-wise, I think he would be most apparent as like, “asshole with a heart of gold”? Like he’s distant and treats people coldly but when push comes to shove he will act on his actual morals and values, which is that people shouldn’t suffer, so if he actually believes he has a way to help somebody he will.

At one point when I made this story I wanted all the characters to be presented as one trope and then get revealed to actually be the opposite (like idk it turns out that while he acts like he hates people he is actually a bleeding heart), but I kind of realized that I was trying to reinvent the wheel when those kinds of tropes and archetypes have been done hundreds of times. Though I am still intending to add some level of irony, I guess, to his characterization along those lines I just don’t think it necessarily excludes him from still being fairly identifiable as following a specific set of archetypes.

This could of course change in practice, but those are my thoughts on it right now at least.

🥝 [KIWI FRUIT] How does their outside appearance differ from who they are? 

His outward appearance is very dispassionate and inexpressive, and people who see him generally assume that he is annoyed or pissed off with them, which is an impression he doesn’t make any efforts to dispel. I think there is a certain percent of the time where he is genuinely annoyed with people, but a lot of the time, he just kind of looks like that and is just vibing. I think the biggest thing that people don’t expect about him is that he’s actually fairly observant and listens to the conversations around him and notices things about people, which can lead to him being interested in people’s problems even if he never gives voice to it.

I think what adds to people’s assumptions about him is also the way he dresses, which tends to lean towards formal/practical. I always draw him with a white lab coat which would definitely make people assume he is doing some kind of Science Stuff but I’ll be honest I don’t know if he’s usually wearing that, lol. But even then it’s often some kind of uniform or work wear. He also ties his hair back which I think in the cultural context also makes him seem kind of formal/businesslike? Basically he comes off as very serious-looking and like he’s very busy and put together, which I guess aren’t altogether inaccurate. He takes a lot of pride in his work and spends most of his time thinking about it and he likes to keep things neat.

🍆 [EGGPLANT] How are they used by others? How easily are they tricked into this?

So.... hm. He knows very well that his life isn’t really under his control. But I think that there are subtle ways where he is still being manipulated to continue to feel that way. I know that’s vague I’m not sure how to explain it without coming off as pretentious or stuff but its like. The System and all that.

The thing is though, while he always goes on about accepting his place in the world and how ultimately all he can do is follow the path that’s expected of him, he has this kind of like, understated rebellious streak? Like he isn’t loyal to the Evil Space Government he is very stubborn about doing what HE wants when he can get away with it.

Like I realize I view him as like a hacker type guy which I think is interesting considering all his other characterization being all about his apathy about the way things are and how he can't change it, but then here he is doing super skilled and illegal #rebel shit basically just, for shits and giggle lol. Kind of tangential at this point but it's relevant to how he doesn't actually let people control him as much as he maybe tends to assume he does. In general he doesn't like being tricked or doing things he doesn't want to do and tries to be as informed as he can even if he still does ultimately get mislead and lied to just because he had no way to know otherwise.

[historicalasiandramas]

CLJ Episode Recaps

Apologies about the font inconsistencies in the headers! I kept forgetting which font I used, so I've started saving files with the font names attached.

Anyway! We start off the ep strong with my fave things: swords & rock music. It's so badass, but then Orchid tells Moon Supreme to put away his sword. She apparently has enough magic to expel the evil magic that was controlling the ying zhao and return it to its original portable size.

This act of mercy baffles DFQC and he questions why Orchid allowed something that hurt her to live. I recognized a word that sounded like 仁慈 réncí, or humane, mercy, benevolence. (I originally named Yanli's sword that in my fic!) Orchid argues that it's only human to worry about the creature when it was already injured. Moon Supreme retorts that it was this pity that made her weak and got her hurt in the first place.

You've unlocked: CHILDHOOD TRAUMA!

Hearing that emotions aren't tethers apparently goes against everything his father instilled in him. The first brief flashback shows DFQC as a child tied up in red thread and crying out in pain. Later in the episode it's implied that DFQC's emotions were removed completely because his father saw them as stumbling blocks to his son's power.

That is 100% child abuse and I absolutely hate that!!!! I have a strong desire to sink my claws into DFQC's father, so I hope I get to see him suffer on screen later :)))

The elder immortals discover the evil energy & conclude that it's forbidden magic that only the Moon Tribe would know. How did it get into the heavenly realm?

Ofc evil magic needs a giant cauldron. Like the one Orchid was almost tossed into! We already knew that it was being used for nefarious purposes but what exactly does one need with refined evil energy?

I was right about Rong Hao! He's gathered his sexy assassin and is pissed at her for failing. She still has no idea that it's DFQC who thwarted her, but Rong Hao gets suspicious when he sees what's injured her.

Hellfire does sound like a sinister spell and genre savvy watchers know that there's always a magic type that's associated with the bad guys. I'll bet this is a Moon Tribe only spell.

The scene then switches to DFQC berating Shang Que for not properly protecting Orchid. After threatening to strip his scales and removing his tendons, Moon Supreme said he sensed evil energy in Haishi City when he rescued Orchid.

And now I finally get the answer to my question about how Haishi City plays into this. There are 3 realms, and it seems like Haishi City only came into being after the battle that sealed Moon Supreme. DFQC concludes that since Chidi Nvzi's Destiny Book was there, the Lord who rules it must be the keeper of her primordial spirit.

That still doesn't answer my other question of why the heavenly immortals don't know about it. When she sacrificed herself, did they assume that Chidi Nvzi's body was sealed in her sword? Maybe her body WAS sealed like DFQC's was, but it was removed...

But enough of that! It's time for a really touching moment between Orchid & Moon Supreme. She's upset that he cheated for her during the exam, but also at the idea of him leaving. She compares it to taking medicine and then suddenly being given candy. You never thought the medicine was bitter before because you got used to taking it every day.

Orchid has grown accustomed to being with DFQC and the realization that she'll be alone again when he's gone has set in. All this time, Orchid was lonely and never knew. Unfortunately, these emotions are unfamiliar and Moon Supreme doesn't understand the metaphor.

In case you didn't get enough sad flute music in The Untamed, this show has some too!

Rong Hao seems to be both deeply in love and deeply obsessed with his former master, who apparently calls him "A-Hao." He says that she's unbeatable and he is nobody.

It's apparently his hobby to play sad flute music and have a woman pretend to be his master until she fucks up and Rong Hao kills her. He didn't even call for the guards but they still came to remove the body, suggesting that this happens frequently. He's so fucked up! I love him so much.

Rong Hao investigates the Tower and discovers that DFQC has escaped, which should be impossible since only the Goddess of Xishan can restore souls. He immediately makes the connection between a fairy falling in and Orchid being able to purify the yin zhao. Rong Hao puts his theory to the test by presenting Orchid with an infected ice jade plant.

Just as suspected, Orchid is able to purify it and bring it back to life. She's the Goddess of Xishan and has no idea. That would explain the brief glimpse we got of a frozen tree and a woman's finger touching it.

I think that's the goddess sealed inside of Orchid and trying to break free. Interestingly, the thing that seemed to give her power was Moon Supreme questioning what he'd been taught. If Orchid does indeed have the goddess' power to bring things back to life, I think she's also inadvertently healing DFQC's emotional root that was removed as a child.

Now that he knows her true power, Rong Hao will def want to use her. After all, he is willing to do anything to bring his master back:

Behind him are horrific scenes of torture, which I presume is what happened during her life. I find it interesting that Rong Hao refers to himself as "A-Hao" when talking to her and says things like, "Don't be afraid."

He ticks all the boxes for my villain loving heart:

keeps a soulless body & talks to it

willing to rip the world apart to bring her back

a playful trickster in one realm and a ruthless, unhinged lord in another

sneaky mf

I leave you with the following screenshot, which wins the award for "definitely foreshadowing":

[johannwolfgangvongoethe]

Reading Umineko for fun and profit? hopefully?

multiple of my twitter mutuals love this game and talk about it all this time. and it looks really interesting, doesnt it, despite its incredibly intimidating length.

so, there is very little going in that i know about! and i am excited to experience it. :) (assuming i can fight my way through the whole thing) apparently they are all on an island. and someone dies. or something like that. if you are around people who love the game, it is inevitable to know some of the main characters, at least on a surface level. there is obviously beatrice, the woman in the painting, who my (similarily clueless friend) once called "the joker for trans women", which accurately describes her vibes. (i mean this in the most positive way. i am on the edge of my seat) otherwise i really only know battler because of his stupid name (its like hes a shonen protagonist - he has to BATTLE. FIGHT MAN) and the two girls who frequently get drawn alongside each other (the blond and the blue one) that aside, i had the vague mind to ask my friend for specific content warnings i usually look out for and they arent actually in there! even though my friend described the game as "well, in theory, umineko needs a bucket full of content warnings but if i were to list them like an encyclopedia, it would spoiler half of the thing" (great sign)

anyway, so i will write whatever thoughts i have about it. this absolutely will involve spoilers. the version i have is english and has newer sprites. (sort of sad, i actually genuinely think the original round boxxing glove artstyle has an incredible amount of personality to it and despite being wonky, the facial expressions are great)

intro + opening

kinzo in his musty dusty study talks to danjo, his doctor. despite them being friends, their relationship as a doctor and resisting patient is likened to a game of chess. and kinzo is obviously losing. i really like the analogy. his struggle with alcohol and health and his inability to improve his habits are direct moves against his friends medical advise. yet he is also framed as a very wealthy character, a king of sorts. so either way, whether he lives (the doctor convinces him) or dies (he succumbs to alcoholism), the king is lost. is this purposeful? who knows. really paints a picture of him though; there is nothing he wishes to write in his will, he needs no advise, he is actively destroying himself, and he wont leave any inheritance. so adding to his physical health, he really isnt doing well mentally, huh... makes me wonder How Much Of his sickness is related to drinking. it seems like something else is going on, too. him dying to alcoholism would paint a different picture than him being terminally ill and choosing to end his life this way (while still suffering from alcoholism but! you know). maybe then the lost king makes sense - he is lost either way, but he could still choose to make a few last good moves. also he made some sort of contract with beatrice and she has him wrapped around her pinky. well, we shall see.

this line specifically does not seem to bode well. beatrice what are you going to do to those people.

also i didnt watch the opening. my friend told me to watch this one instead :) good music

episode 1, part 1

battler has less dignity to him than i thought. idk what i expected. his name really is that stupid. he is a bit cringe but adorable nonetheless.

Both groups are at the top of my must-kill list. george is voiced by suzumura...

.

free space for those who know about my affliction of being a lavi d.gray-man fan. sometimes i can still hear his voice. his glasses do the scary anime villain thing. for now he is very nice, though i am fully expecting some bait and switch for his personality.

anyhow. some more notes:

does battlers upside down cross zipper mean anything??????? i like to imagine hes just a bit chuuni.

everyone in the family has that silly little emblem on their clothing

jessica is an instant fave for me personally bc of how she speaks

eva and natsuhi have some incredible beef going on in the back. love the toxicity going on here. both of them already seem like there is a lot to them, just from the first expressions

there is also some obvious conflict between the servants and the ushiromiya family and also... just between the servants, which is most visible in kanon

apropos. kanon transgender? eyebrow lift

so grandpa beat his kids and grandkids with his own fists and wooden sword. AND his hobby is dark magic. damn

the family is unwell, it seems

i have to strangle battler with my own two hands

the family introduction is very cute and they seem very lively and real, like an endearing bunch. battlers internal monologue is very on point for an 18yo. so sorry about whatever is going to happen. also are their weird western sounding names and the architectures of the guesthouse related to their patriachs obsession with beatrice? (points at her.... white woman.... i think) i wonder how the flight attendants knew how to pronounce all that. its funny to imagine the staff took little notes on it when they checked in.

knowing battler is a mamas boy is a very interesting little bit of info. "father issues damage you but mother issues rewrite your dna" or however that post goes. i absolutely believe in this. its horrifying. knowing battlers mother died and then he lived with his grandparents AND THEN THOSE DIED TOO. GIVE HIM A BREAK!!!! ..... wait this game is about mysterious murders isnt it. oh god.

we are informed there used to be a torii on the coastline of the island but it got destroyed by a lightning. ominous. maria also reacts to this. kumasawa wants to elaborate further on local myths but jessica stops her. there are also no seagulls (ah.... namedrop) to be seen anywhere. lets put a pin in all that for now. children with promonitions are a common trope after all.

now this is a bit of a personal thing but the fact they have a rose garden in full bloom on october is ridiculous. and youre trying to tell me they smell too, despite obviously being modern crossbreeds? get real.

welp. glass shatters. the clock strikes 12 o'clock. thats where im pausing the notes for now.

all that said, dont you think spending that much time talking about how much battler wants to touch his cousins boobs was strange :( dont you think