gaybearwedding · 9 months ago
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hiiiiii can you guys reply/qrt this tweet and say zach and jess
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c00kiejar · 9 months ago
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This song...
I've never really made a proper post before, just shitposts and the occasional art thing. I want to make one to properly express how I feel right now and why this song represents it perfectly. I will warn you first, however, that this mentions a certain YouTuber who was recently completely destroyed on Twitter and my personal experience as a viewer, and may delve into some not-too-happy thoughts
Still here? Let's dive in
It all starts way back when I was still a kid. I was navigating the wonderful site known as YouTube, trying to find videos on videogames and, specifically, I think it was Super Paper Mario. I had no idea how to beat Chapter 2-3 (the Ruby debt one), and I needed help. That's when I stumbled across a YouTuber called Chuggaaconroy (a.k.a. Emile). The way he provided all the information I needed in one video was exactly what I needed. I couldn't subscribe to his channel because I didn't have a Google account, so I just periodically checked his channel, eventually learning he uploaded every day at 5 PM, perfect for younger me. I'd watch his videos when they came out, loving every single one. I eventually discovered his collab channel, The Runaway Guys, and loved that channel even more. He, Proton Jon (Jon) and NintendoCapriSun (Tim) entertained me for YEARS with their content. I even branched out into Jon's streaming community, becoming a semi-regular artist on the booru for a time (you can still find my stuff there under the name TehSm1tty. Not my best work, but I still like some of it). Years come and go, and I have my fair share of mental health troubles, but I'd always find Emile, Jon, and Tim there to brighten my days.
Fast forward to sometime last week. I've been pretty inactive on Twitter aside from my alts, but I decided to see what was popping on main. I log in and get recommended a post with the hashtag "WeStandWithChugga". I had no idea what was going on, so I looked into it. I won't go into detail here, but the jist of it is that Emile was a total creep to many women and even drove wedges between himself and good friends because of this weird behavior. There's a lot more to this than just that, but the point is that it shattered my view of him. I knew he was pushy and that always kinda annoyed me, but the extent of it broke me. For a few days now, I've been having a rough go of it. I mean, my childhood YouTuber just got outed as a complete creep and has some serious allegations of being at least a lolicon, at worst a pedo. I've been down and out for days, and it just wouldn't stop. That is, until I found out that Tim has a Reddit account. I never knew this (or, well, maybe I did and just forgot. Idfk), and was amazed to learn that Tim's been keeping Reddit updated on what he's able/willing to share. Turns out Emile's getting the help he needs at a legit mental hospital and that he's ok. That's what made everything stop. Hearing he's ok. After all the shit Emile has done, he's still a human being and doesn't deserve to have the whole internet turn on him in a fraction of a second. Hearing a fellow human is ok made me feel better. I'm not letting him off the hook, and I do not believe he should ever be forgiven for what he's done, but if he is willing to better himself and become a better person, I am more than willing to believe in that Emile.
Now to come to roughly 40 minutes ago. I decide to boot up Satisfactory and play a bit, but I have no idea what to listen to while I do. I put on a song but quickly get bored of it, and then I see "OMORI | Do You Remember? | Extended" in my recommendations. I put it on and instantly, as if I were splashed in the face by water, I wake up and feel better. I was still stressed about everything going on (I'm set to go to college in September, AND my folks are headed to Mexico in about a week, so I'm stressed from those too), but with the first note on the piano, everything faded. All my swirling negative emotions were replaced with a somber peace. I'm still hurt by the last week's revelations, and I'm never going to truly recover (who could?), but I'm moving on. I think my comment on the video describes how I feel best; "The sad yet peaceful feeling this song evokes in me... It's pretty much how I feel today. I feel at peace... or, well, mostly. There's still pain, and there always will be, but I can move on and I'll live. In the future, I'll look back on this last week and feel sad, but that'll be in the future when this is all over with for good, so I can also look back at before it and be happy that those good times happened. Nothing will ever be the same, but such is the way of the world. Saying goodbye is saying hello to the future, and we all need to do that eventually. Who knows what the future may hold? I, for one, can't wait to see. Hello future, and goodbye sadness".
Chuggaaconroy was an inspiration and a light in the sea of darkness for so, so many, and these revelations have snuffed the light he provided out. What I hope is that Emile takes a long, long break from the internet to become the person we all believed him to be, to truly become that bright light in the dark, rather than just another dark figure holding a flashlight. I don't hope for that as a supporter of him as I don't support who he is right now (as if I haven't said it enough), I hope for that as a fellow human who only wishes to see everyone become the best version of themself.
I think this post was exactly what I needed. I've finally gotten everything out in a cohesive (maybe?) and healthy manner, and I'm ready to become my best self. I will be beginning work on YouTube videos tomorrow, and will hopefully be posting Thursdays at 5 PM (in honor of DatPags whom has not uploaded in a long time).
To anyone who finished reading this post, thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. Please, go become your best self, but do not do so by putting others down. Better yourself and acknowledge your flaws, overcome them, and do not repeat Emile's mistakes. Learn from those around you.
Yours truly,
Cookie_Jar of Tumblr dot com
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frzngrapes · 1 year ago
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30/07
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My dear Keycie,
I spent the night unfollowing eating disorder and self harm related blogs on here, I logged out of my edtwt account and I deleted my thinspo Pinterest boards. I deleted MyFitnessPal, my weight tracker app and my fast tracker app. I came across a lot of triggering content at once and it was very long but it was necessary.
I have 500 followers on that twitter account, which isn't a lot but is more than my main Instagram's follower count. So it technically used to be my biggest social media platform. I started it two years ago and I don't think I logged out for more than two or three weeks ever since then, but now I'm gone for good. I'm not deactivating it even though I know I should, I feel there are too many important things there. It was like a diary to me, and I would share literally everything. Sometimes looking up words like "friends" "mom" or "crush" on it is fun, because I can find all kinds of different and contradictory stuff I posted during the past two years. I just feel like I should keep this archive.
Also it's a kind of "box situation" like I wrote about some time ago. I know a few months after writing about this I opened the box again. And it's still somewhere in my room even if I don't feel like using it at all. Maybe I'm just not strong enough to completely let go... But I think not having the account and the tumblr tags and the calorie counting apps on my phone is a good first step. I hadn't done anything as significant for my recovery as this in the past two years. Which, come to think of it, is a bit ridiculous. I've attempted to "recover" in the past, but never deleted the weight loss related apps from my phone before, maybe without admitting it to myself I was kinda lying about being dedicated to getting better. But maybe this time is the one right time where everything works out and I heal for real. The day I wrote about in my first ever blog post under the cherrysletters✿ tag.
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I was listening to music when unfollowing the edblr accounts and Teen Idle by Marina came on and I fucking cried. Because it hit me, the fact I was suicidal, making myself puke and phased out all the time at age 16. I should have been, idk, having fun. Why did this all happen to me ? This was all so unnecessary. I remembered the fact I didn't think I would turn 17. I went back to what I wrote on here on my 17th birthday and I cried. It's not often I feel sorry for how I treated myself, but rn I really do. I guess I finally really snapped out of it. Not saying I will never be destructive to myself ever again, or that I am completely cured of whatever problem I used to have... It's just that I somehow only now realise I'm not sixteen anymore. And that me proudly fueling my ed was a long time ago, me actually planning on taking my life was a long time ago and now I'm eighteen and this is pretty much over, so I can sit back and think "Shit, that was a lot".
My mother being abusive towards me is over as well. Two months ago she apologized, admitted it was all very unfair and that I didn't deserve it. This is such a huge change in my life, feeling comfortable at home. Because since I started high school, I think what made me cry the most was my mother's word to me, or remembering them or remembering that she used to hit me. And I cried in front of her for it, a lot, from when I was 15 when I started realising it was messed up, to not long ago. But she never apologized before that day. In conversation I brought up the fact that the first time I opened up about being suicidal, she told me to go ahead and kill myself, and she said she didn't remember saying that. It really sent me spiraling I snapped yelled and cried and told her everything I had on my chest, and later she told me she was sorry for everything.
It brings me a huge sense of relief, for her to admit that she did something wrong, just like when during the 2021 gay pride some guy from my high school I seemingly didn't know came up to me and apologized for bullying me. It's like- a proof it actually happened and actually was wrong and not just me making shit up in my head.
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I'm saying all this because now that I don't feel pain at home, don't self harm and try to eat normally, I can almost say I'm finally free ! "Almost" because I don't want to jinx it, and because I know my wellbeing works in waves of ups and downs. But like for now I feel like I can enjoy life without having to worry about a big dramatic thing. And I guess that gives me the space to reflect on what life was like not long ago, and that's why I cry. I don't have to cry about whatever's happening right now so get to cry a bit about how hard high school was, then I can move on and be happy for a bit.
xoxo, cherry 🌸
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farewhetherfriend · 2 years ago
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first of all hello, i got logged out of my old tumblr account (connected to my aol email address) 3 years ago and since twitter, the other place i like to lurk, is on fire i though i’d come back and see what’s up these days.
second, at the beginning of this whole twitter shenanigan, i had a Thought. and i looked at how many people el*n follows: it’s 130.
if you’ve spent any time on social media, you’ll know that’s too low a number to be engaging and interesting for very long. if he spends as much time on twitter as he seems to, he would reach the end of his feed many many times over (yes i know home feed is different than latest tweets but you get my point).
SO, my theory is: his main twitter workflows are 1) posting 2) checking his mentions 3) searching his own name.
!!!!
he legitimately was not having the same user experience as the rest of us plebs, but at no point did he or anyone around him stop to consider that. he legitimately thought that the blue checks were status symbols (my guess is he checks his verified mentions much more obsessively than his normal ones). and the blue checks he was seeing were often “mean” to him.
and so now he has spent 44bil on something that, by all accounts, is bleeding itself and now t*sla dry financially while also mercilessly mocking him for this hubris, plus everyone gets to see how much of an idiot he is about all this as he figures it out in real time. you thought the blue checks were mean before???? ah, poor icarus.
anyways: this week in general has really underscored to me that anyone who claims to be a genius is almost certainly lying to themselves and others. every actual genius i’ve met just thinks (/knows?) they are simply insane.
(disclaimer: i have had the unique misfortune of having worked in both hollywood and silicon valley, so while all opinions are my own, i like to think they’re coming from a pretty informed place.)
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lgcmilan · 2 years ago
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ha... ha... haaaaaaaa
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sorry everybody!!! you wouln’t be able to believe how long this week felt for me! but finally, i can say it; i’m admin l. aka el! finally back on dash after over a year! I have to apologize to everyone for not disclosing my identity before but welp, welcome checks be like... :/ i couldn’t even tell some of my fellow admins nor any of my friends unless they welcomed me first TT 
for those who don’t know me; i’m one of the 3 founders with admin c. (currently off dash or maybe hiding on hyungcheol’s account lol) and admin g. ( @lgcjaesun and @lgchanbyul ). i had to step away mostly due to severe health issues during the revamp. right now, i’m far from 100%; i have lingering symptoms, still under treatment and have yet to see some specialists, but i’m better enough.
what does this mean for lgc? i was the original creative director before admin a. had to step up when i literally became unable to do anything (lol, good times). as i mentioned already, i’m not 100% and would never be able to take back the role i had in my current state. also, cloud has been doing one hell of a job and i really love the way she works and everything she - well, the whole team, really - has planned!!! so this won’t change a single thing for you; if you have questions, it still goes to the main, and if events pop out, consider it’s all from cloud. due to severe anxiety, i’m barely reachable anyway; those who have my twitter know that i barely log on nowadays and even my ability to be on tumblr is quite recent.  ... but, i guess if anything cruel happens (punishments; that was me yes~ all the seniors comments; me too~ also, sorry fabula for getting you lost in the woods, i love you!! it’s for your own good!! ♡) you can assume i’ve been there lol. 
anyway yes, tldr, i’m back, i’m reachable on tumblr and lgc is just business as usual! pls love me?? also for those who have been plotting with me, i’d understand if you wanna drop me! i know admins can be intimidating, but really, i’m just a potato.
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thedenofravenpuff · 3 years ago
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dA Nuked from Orbit
Over a week I’ve been non-stop art dumping on my FurAffinity account. 
Been moving old art and character refs from my DeviantART account, because I was finally quitting on the site. Eclipse was bad enough change, but with every new update and betas forced upon its audience, the site just kept getting worse to me.
Further dA ranting below
My gallery’s folder system looks hideous, the message center continuously chopped up into smaller pieces to make it as inconvenient as possible, even using the search bar was getting effy because things don’t make obvious sense when looked at. 
Not to mention the new setup was a killer on bandweight and seemed to be actively trying to destroy my browser, if I was on the site for more than ten minutes at a time. No other sites gave me this much trouble. 
I’ve been a loyal user of DeviantART for years, almost two decades. I had paid subscriptions to support the site all those years, until Eclipse made me stop wanting to pay them ANYTHING. Only to learn is not an option to remove my banking info from their profile on me. AFTER they renewed my subscription without permission. I got my money back once I called the bank.
The last week while I saved old traditional art for transfer, the latest beta for the ruined message center glitched out so badly, I could no longer reply to people’s comments or notes. Nor look at other people’s posts, I couldn’t even look up my own journal posts put up to announce my plans for departure. 
To the very end, dA made it clear I was better off leaving. I only waited this long until I found someone to take over an old Group I didn’t had the heart to leave behind without supervision. 
Finally Friday, I deactivated my account. Whatever not saved to be put up on FurAffinity as my new main art archive, will now be gone. Of course, deactivating, doesn’t mean is gone, just means people can’t access your account anymore.  After SEVERAL emails and clicking buttons to affirm YES KILLSWITCH THIS SHT you can still log onto dA. Pointlessly. 
So I had to use the option of doing an PII sweep and use the law giving me the right to have them delete ALL and EVERYTHING of my data, which should finally kill my account off for good (within 30 days). At least they’ll no longer have access to my bank account at last 
dA was my archive for so many years, where I kept everything one place. It was were I made my longest lasting friendships, and first made a name for myself. Though to prove a point to myself, whenever I made an account on a different site, I never announced it on existing accounts for the first while, only to see I can still get a following. I don’t need what I had on dA to stay relevant. 
If you enjoy dA Eclipse and swear to it.. good for you. But it broke my heart and destroyed everything I loved about it, for changes I never wanted. And as I tried to stick around, tried to give it time to grow on me.. it only got worse and showed no signs of improving. 
Heck, thanks to dA being such a mess, it made me decide to stick around on tumblr for a bit longer. I had in the past played the idea to leave tumblr, as a lot of artists I loved had run or got purged, during the great Tumblr Purge. But know what? Compared to dA, tumblr is an absolute delight and I was reminded what community and friends I still have here.
Tumblr is broken, but not as badly as compared to dA. Tumblr is still decent. And I still find friends and content to enjoy here. 
If you read through all that ranting and whining, thank you. Was just to announce my dA is now deadm and my FurAffinity account is my new home base for my organized art archive. 
I can also still be stalked on twitter for daily doodles and general updates 
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greengrayeyeswrites · 4 years ago
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shit-faced in love (chapter four)
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Title: shit-faced in love
Pairing: Corpse Husband x OC (fem!youtuber!reader)
Word Count: 1,181
Warnings: Mental Health/Mental Illnesses are a big topic in this story. Mentions of depression, bpd and other mental illnesses. Angst, Fluff.
Note: This may be a Corpse x OC story but feel free to insert yourself into the main girls role. If Corpse ever announces that he doesn’t like fanfics about him, I’ll delete this.
Prologue — Chapter 1 — Chapter 2 — Chapter 3 — Chapter 4 — Chapter 5
_ _ _
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Imogen enjoyed her time in Houston to the fullest. Even if she had to wear her mask at all times. Spending time with Baylee and finally getting to know her best friend in real life, meant the world to her. 
The day after Japan Con, where a lot of visitors asked Imogen to sign her notebooks and phones, a lot of hashtags were trending. #imogenblacksus was one of them and Imogen didn’t really understand the issue, until Baylee explained her the issues her fans had with the black Among Us character she bought.
„Are you serious?“ Imogen had asked, while feeding Buddy and looking at her laptop—that was on top of the dinner table, uploading a new Buddy Vlog. „I wish I would be joking“, Baylee said, browsing through Twitter. „This one update page of yours, imogenhenupdts, posted a whole thread about us on Japan Con. Well, more about you but my name was said as well.“ Baylee chuckled and Imogen lifted her eyebrow.
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„I always wonder where they get those informations.“ Imogen shook her head. „The fact that they called the insider OP though… seems like they were a K-Pop fan account before they were yours.“ Baylee said and read through the thread once again.
„Lol, your fans can’t live with the fact that you chose Corpse’s color! You should make Corpse’s mask for him!“ Baylee laughed and Imogen pressed her lips together. „That reminds me! I wanted to tell him!“ Imogen grabbed her phone and texted the younger male.
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Imogen could hear Corpse’s confused voice in her head and started laughing. She turned the phone to Baylee who chuckled. „He seems confused“, Baylee chuckled, still scrolling through Twitter.
Imogen chuckled and texted Corpse that he should add Corpse-Astronauts into his merchandise. The boy only answered with a confused emoji and Imogen chuckled.
„What are your plans, Imogen?“ Baylee suddenly asked and Imogen put the phone away. „Plans?“ - „Yeah. You bought a one-way ticket to the states. What are your plans here?“ 
Imogen was quiet for a while. She leaned back into the green chair she was sitting in. „Well, first I wanted to spend some time with you. You’re off work for the whole week, right?“ She asked and Baylee nodded. „Mr Beast invited me to join one of his videos“ Imogen continued. „Then I wanted to meet Rae and Sykkuno and of course my“ Imogen took a deep breath, „my pole dance classes in San Diego.“
Baylee and Imogen looked at each other and Baylee started laughing. „I still can’t believe this is happening. You’re doing pole dancing.“ Baylee laughed. „This seems so weird. But we both know what your real reason visiting San Diego is.“
Imogen felt heat creep up into her cheeks. „I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m planning to visit the whole country.“ - ��Then why aren’t you visiting Dream in Florida?“ Another heat wave crept up into Imogen’s cheeks. „Baylee…“ - „We both know that you are visiting Mr No-Face, Corpse.“ 
Imogen looked away. „Maybe I am. But it’s not a big deal. He’s just another friend of mine.“ - „A friend who’s Among Us color you got when there were a ton of white ones.“ Imogen opened her mouth. „Now you sound exactly like that update page of mine!“ Baylee started laughing. 
„I like teasing you, Mo. You know that!“ - „I do. I feel it, very vividly.“ Imogen acted as if she had to gag and Baylee chuckled. „Jokes aside. Why aren’t you visiting Dream?“ Imogen lifted her arms. „Excuse me? He’s super famous!“
„And so are you?“ Baylee lifted her shoulders. „I only played Among Us with him once. We’re not really friends. He has a whole other streaming friend group than I do. We’re just acquainted.“ 
„In case you ever get to know him more, hmu. I want to know all about him!“ Baylee’s eyes glimmered and Imogen opened her mouth. „I am so disappointed! What happened with your undying love for Seán?“ Baylee ignored the Irish woman and stood up. „I need to head home. I promised my mum to take care of the dinner tonight.“ - „Way to ignore the topic“, Imogen grinned but stood up and followed her best friend to the door.
„I’m streaming Pummel Party with some of my friends tonight, in case you want to log in and watch my stream“ Imogen smiled and Baylee nodded. „I won’t ever miss any of your streams, Mo. You know that.“ Imogen nodded and waved Baylee before closing the door behind her. „Bud, we have a great friend, don’t we?“ She asked and Buddy slowly lifted his head and looked at Imogen, before laying down again. 
Imogen sat down on the couch, Buddy lifted his head once more and scooted closer, before laying his head on Imogen’s lap. The woman started patting his head, while scrolling through the pictures she and Baylee had taken these past days. 
After finding one, she quickly posted it on her Instagram, looking at the comments and likes that were slowly rolling in.
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Imogen smiled at her phone and locked it. She enjoyed being with Baylee a lot. Yet she knew, she couldn’t stay in the states forever.
Panic crept up her back and Imogen closed her eyes. She knew that she couldn’t run away from her home in Ireland—and she didn’t wanted to do that. But staying in Houston with Baylee felt like healing.
It felt like all the weight of her mental illness and her fight against BPD and depression was taken off her shoulders. She felt like a normal woman and not one with major mental issues. 
She sighed, while her eyes filled with tears. She felt an episode creeping up. „Buddy“ she called and the dog immediately lifted his head. He stared at Imogen with intense eyes, waiting to calm her down.
She felt low and sad all of a sudden. Her mouth tasted irony and her heart hurt. Tears were threatening to spill from her eyes and she grabbed Buddy’s fur. The dog scooted closer and licked her cheeks.
Imogen took a deep breath and the tears spilled. She started crying and shivering, hiding in Buddy’s fur. She hated feeling like that. Even though she was medicated, these quick mood swings ruined her.
She was feeling happy just a second ago. And now she felt empty and sad and just wanted to sleep. With a sigh she grabbed her phone and tweeted out, that she wouldn’t join tonights Pummel Party stream. Her fans were worried and quickly tweeted encouraging words, but Imogen had already shifted and was in her black and white thinking.
She texted her friends and told them, that she wouldn’t join tonight and wouldn’t stream. She told them she wasn’t feeling well. She wouldn’t tell them that she fell into a hole of self loathing and sadness. She couldn’t put this on them. 
Imogen looked at Buddy and sighed. „Let’s just hope this episode ends quick“ she whispered and held her dog close. She hated this feeling. She absolutely hated it.
to be continued...
Taglist: @wineandionysus​ @chanbaeol​
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bbyboybrock--archived · 4 years ago
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Shipped (Colby Brock Imagine)
Summary: *REQUEST* Omg your requests are open!! Can you do something about colby and reader dating in secret and she’s always hyping him up on everything and fans just think it’s cause they are best friends. But she posts a post wearing the love for hire letterman on accident and the fans connected it because Kat and Tara have it to so they figure out they are dating and go crazy (in a good way) for them 🥺❤️
Written: 2020
Word Count: 1,967
Warnings: Major fluff, Swearing
Masterlist
I harassed Colby into letting me listen to their new music. Let’s just say, when you guys hear this, you’re going to be glad One Direction is on a break. Can’t help but stan L4H!! #numeber1fan
I press "send tweet" before plugging in my phone and taking a quick shower. When I get out of the shower I grab my phone and throw myself onto Colby’s bed. It’s our bed at this point. I spend more time at the trap house than I do my apartment, I might as well move in. I go and read the comments under my tweet. Most of them are good. Some fans want me to leak the boys' music, others are freaking out over mine and Colby’s friendship. Someone makes it a point to mention how cute Colby and I would be as a couple and linked an edit that they made. Someone commented that fans like them, the one that posted the edit, are the problem and the reason why Colby doesn’t have any friends who are girls. There is a whole fight going on under that comment.
I quickly try to defuse the situation between the fans before exiting twitter altogether. I take my towel off of my damp hair and walk back into Colby’s bathroom to detangle it. When I finish doing my hair I grab the first jacket of Colby’s that I see to get warm. Lucky for me, it’s his Love for Hire lettermen jacket. For whatever reason, this jacket is more comfortable than any hoodie I’ve stolen during our entire relationship, maybe it’s because it smells strongly like him. Or maybe it’s because I get to finally live out my high school dream of wearing my boyfriend’s lettermen. Either way, Colby knows that this is my jacket now and he’s going to have to fight me to the death for it back. I don’t know if it’s because I freshly showered and my hair is fluffy, or because my skin is thanking me for not putting makeup on it yet, but something is compelling me to take a selfie in Colby’s bathroom mirror.
I get up on to the counter and try to position myself comfortably. I take a few selfies, while carefully not exposing Colby’s messy counter. I do cute poses with peace signs and my tongue sticking out. I do serious “model” poses with hair looking like I’m in a photoshoot. I take a couple and post them on my Instagram story. I triple check each one before pressing send to make sure they end up on my close friends’ list and not my public story. That would be disastrous. I saw how people were acting in the comments of my tweet supporting Colby when a fan posted an edit wishing we were dating. I can’t imagine how his fan base would react if they knew we really are dating and have been for well over a year.
Well, I can imagine how they would react, I’ve been around Colby long enough to figure out how his fanbase functions. Most of his fans would be supportive. Of the majority, there would be roughly half who constantly would show their support over our relationship. The other half would keep quiet and try not to mention it directly so they don’t “jinx” it. No matter how open Colby is with his fans, there is still so much of his life that he has to keep private from the rest of his fans who wouldn’t be supportive of our relationship. The obsessive ones who think that Colby is a toy and belongs to only them. In all honesty, Colby and I probably would have been together longer if it wasn’t for them. We probably wouldn’t have been friends. There was a period in his life when he wouldn’t make any new female friends because of what his old friends had to go through. Because of that, Colby has always been protective of me.
Even though we’ve been friends since he moved to Los Angles, he only introduced me to his fandom two years ago. Even then, it wasn’t like, boom: “here’s a girl that I’m friends with, be nice!” Colby made sure I was properly acclimated to his side of internet stardom by having me appear in all of his other friends’ videos and photos first before a strand of my hair was placed in one of his videos. And then he said, “here’s a girl that I’m friends with, be nice!” Being a Youtuber myself, I have some experience with fandoms. But nothing could prepare me for his intense fans. For the first couple of months after Colby put me on his channel, I understood why Colby kept so many of girl friends in the dark or why some chose to stop being friends with Colby in general. It’s only a select few fans, but when there are so many comments of harassment and death threats it can get overwhelming.
Those comments died down after a while though. Mostly because I either mute certain words from my comments or I don’t read them. Colby and I try really hard to hide our relationship. If we’re in videos together, we don’t sit too close. We keep our hands to ourselves; even a simple hand on the shoulder can cause a frenzy. We only post our couple pictures on our actual secret Instagram accounts and close friends list. Our friends know not to post anything where we might look too much like a couple. We make it a point to bicker like siblings whenever we do work together. Hell, the reason I still have my apartment is to avoid people finding out we’re dating. If I have my own place, people just think I’m visiting the guys whenever I’m over. And it works, everyone just assumes that we’re really close friends.
“I’m back and I bring food!” Colby yells as he opens the door to the room. I plug my dying phone back into the charger before abandoning it in the bathroom to greet Colby.
“Oh thank God, I was beginning to think you were with your hoes. But then I ran into Sam, Jake, and Corey in the kitchen so I relaxed.” I give Colby a quick kiss and help him with the shopping bags in his hand. I set them on the bed and start going through them.
“I wish, but they were too busy for me. So I went and got us stuff for this weekend.” Colby sets the food down and helps me unload the bags.
“Oh that reminds me, we need to stop by my place after dinner so I can pack my things.” Te whole friend group is renting a log cabin in woods for Thursday to Monday morning for bonding and to get a few collars done. Colby went and got a few road trip snacks without me. Probably because I would get distracted at Target and we would never leave. It’s fine, he remembered to get my favorite snacks.
“Yeah, okay, I figured. We could have gone earlier but I had to let you sleep in after you spent all night watching tiktoks.” Colby walks over to the couch and starts to set up our lunch in front of the tv.
“To be fair, I’m not responsible for the time lost when I’m on the tok. Besides, I learned more dances to teach you!” I take off Colby’s jacket and set it at the foot of the bed before joining Colby on the couch.
“Of course you did. You know how much I love learning a new TikTok dance every day.” Colby jokes before kissing my forehead. He hands me my food and turns on Netflix.
A few minutes into our show, there’s a loud, rapid knock at the door. Annoyed, Colby paused the show and puts his food down.
“What?” Colby asks as he gets up to open the door. Sam stands on the other side, relieved. The last time Sam knocked on the door like that, Colby and I were busy… rearranging furniture.
“Oh Colby, you’re home. But I’m not here for you. Y/N, did you mean to post that on your story?” Colby moves aside to let Sam in.
“Haha, Sammy, I’m not falling for that one. Colby already tried that on me last week.” I go back to eating my food and ignore Sam.
“No, I’m being serious. Katrina said she kept trying to reach you but you’re not answering. Fans are freaking out on twitter.”
“Oh shit!” I quickly put down my food and grab my phone in the bathroom. There are miss calls and texts from Kat, Tara, and Devyn. I unlock my phone and open Instagram to check my story. Sure enough, I accidentally sent one of my selfies to my main story instead of my close friends. The selfie looks harmless enough, except I’m wearing Colby’s jacket and it’s very obvious that I’m in his bathroom. Jake moved in some of the cardboard Colby’s into Colby’s room and one of them faces the mirror, you can kind of see it in the selfie. Most people might think nothing of it, but earlier this week Kat and Tara posted pictures of them wearing Sam and Jake’s jackets. With that association alone, everyone is going to find out.
“I don’t get it, there’s only a selfie on here. Did you already delete it?” Colby yells from the bedroom. I slowly walk out of the bathroom with a confused look on his face.
“Please tell me you’re joking.” I open up my story and check how many people have seen it.
“What, I’m lost… Oh… Oh! Oh, fuck!” Colby finally gets it and does something on his phone.
“‘Oh fuck’ is right. So many people took screenshots that even if I deleted it now, it would be pointless.” I walk to the bed and throw myself facedown, like a teen in a movie after having a shitty day at school.
“And you guys are trending on Twitter,” Sam says. I almost forgot he was still here.
“Dude,” Colby warns.
“Not helpful, I get it. I’ll be downstairs if you need me.” Sam leaves the room and I let out a scream as soon as I hear the door close. I feel the spot next to me sink as Colby sits down and starts rubbing my back.
“Hey, Y/N, these aren’t as bad as you think. I’m only seeing positive messaged. Look,” Colby gently pats my back to get my attention.
“Really? Let me see.” I sit up, sniffle, and peek at Colby’s phone as he reads.
“Are you crying?” Colby asks as he wipes my face.
“I immediately got overwhelmed. Let me read the tweets.” I take Colby’s phone scroll through the tweets. He’s right, they’re mostly positive. I haven’t seen a negative tweet yet. That’s the opposite of how I thought this would go. A few people are telling other fans to stop assuming, but even those are calm compared to the fight I saw earlier.
“See, I guess we were stressed all this time for no reason. We can do normal couple things like our friends and not go out of our way to hide everything.”
“That’ll be nice. It was getting exhausting. What do we do now? How do you want to approach this? Live stream? Youtube video?” I look at Colby and he has a big smile on his face.
“Right now, let’s just finish lunch. We can deal with this later. Now, I’m going to take this back. I don’t want you to start crying again.” Colby strokes my hair and kisses my forehead.
“I love you, Colbs,” I say softly.
“I love you too, Y/N.”
531 notes · View notes
rainplaysswtor · 3 years ago
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SWTOR: New player help: Contending with bugs
It's not a bug, it's a feature! It's working as intended! As you play SWTOR, you will notice that...things don't always go as expected. Here are some helpful tips for new players (and more long term players too) to try to help handle some of the most common bugs you will find in the game. 
First thing: report the bugs you encounter. If nobody knows something's going wrong, it can't be fixed. 
Everyone including free to play players can now use the in-game bug reporting system. How? 
1. Go into your chat box (usually at the upper left of your screen and type /bug)
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2. This should open a window that will allow you to type a short description of the bug you are seeing. Describe the bug. Make sure you mention 1) exactly what you were doing and 2) what was not working. For example: 
"During the introduction scene for the flashpoint "This is Way Too Long," the character "I Don't Like You" does not have a head." 
3. Press ' submit.' 
Keep in mind that you will not get a response or any direct help from a bug report. This is to let the developers know what is not working in the game, so they can hopefully fix it. 
2. Wait a little while after there's a new patch or game update
When there's a new game update or patch (you will know because you have new files that will automatically download when you launch the game), don't jump right into the new content with your favorite best character. Wait. It's hard, I know, but wait. The general trend over the past few years has been that new patches and updates always have bugs, and sometimes they're doozies. 
It helps to have a "me first" character or two - perhaps a clone of your main - to wade into new content on the first day or week if you really want to see it. That way you can see the new content without being completely angry that it's messed something up for your characters or isn't running quite right. 
3. Keep an eye on the Bug Reports section of SWTOR.com and the SWTOR Twitter account. 
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Even if you are not a subscriber you can still read the Bug Reports forum (I would not recommend the rest of the forums, though). There's usually a running list of known bugs for each patch listed at the top of the page. Also keep an eye on the SWTOR Twitter account. You can read it without being a registered Twitter user, and it will let you know when the game is going down for maintenance or an update. 
4. If you are facing a bug that is making it impossible to complete a quest you need for story progression, you can reach out to SWTOR customer service for assistance. If you are a subscriber, press the little gears icon at the top of your screen, choose "customer service" and then "request help." If you are not subscriber, you can reach support at [email protected]
SPECIFIC STRATEGIES FOR COMMON BUGS
1. Help! My abilities bar got unlocked and I cannot get it to lock again!
When this happens, all your abilities will 'float' or move from their placements, which understandably makes it hard to fight. How to get around this: 
1. When you are NOT IN COMBAT, press CTRL+U. All of your abilities bars/maps/etc. will vanish. Don't panic. This is the way. 
2. Press CTRL+U again. Everything should come back. It may take a moment. Wait. 
2. Oh no! My character's stuck in a rock!
Or on a cliff, or under a box, or up a tree. We've all been there. Go to your chat box (upper left, usually).
1. Write /stuck in the chat. This will either move your character to a place where they aren't stuck, or it will kill them and put them back at the nearest medical base. 
2. What's that? Stuck isn't working, or you just used it and it needs to cool down? You can try using Quick Travel to travel to a nearby medical base. 
3. Still nothing? Try porting to a stronghold, your ship or the Fleet. 
4. Try logging out and logging back in. 
3. What? I can't click the blue thing. 
This bug has shown up all over the place, where an objective will be lit blue, but unclickable. I've found a few places where nothing I do makes this work. 
1. Try changing instances. 
2. Try logging out and back in. 
4. This is a great cut scene...why is it freezing?!
Several years ago this bug was so severe in the Sith Warrior and Imperial Agent stories that only customer service could resolve it. It seems better now, but here are some ideas. 
1. ESC out of the scene. Now try to start the scene again by clicking on the NPC /objective/whatever is the scene starter. 
2. Can you guess? Log out and back in. 
3. Close the game and try re-launching. 
4. Try lowering your graphics settings in the game. Don't know why this works, but it did sometimes. 
5. My character is frozen in a weird pose. 
Just laugh at it, take a screenshot and share it with your friends so they can laugh. Typically this will not affect actual combat and will go away on its own eventually. 
6. I want to romance Lana Beniko, Koth Vortena or Theron Shan in KOTFE...but I've heard things about the romance vanishing. 
There are two general ways the romances in KOTFE get borked:
1. A patch happens before the romance is locked in (chapter 9) and all the player's flirts from chapters 3-8 are reset. The game thus forgets you were trying to romance Lana and you don't get the romance dialogue option in chapter 9. I've also heard of Koth and Theron romances vanishing, but not as often. The solution is to NOT play through chapters 3-9 of KOTFE when there's a patch happening. My general tactic is to play those chapters straight through, and not stop until I get to chapter 10, to make sure the romance is locked and won't be interrupted by a patch.
2. The player misunderstands the really poorly framed dialogue wheel in chapter 9. There's a moment, pictured below, where the camera faces Theron Shan, and there are choices that say "I need to see one of you" and "I need to see one of you" [flirt]. IT IS NOT JUST REFERRING TO THERON. If you are flirting with Lana or Koth and want to lock in their romance, DO NOT CLICK ON THE FIRST CHOICE (which is helpfully lit up here for your reference). YOU NEED TO CHOOSE THE [FLIRT] HERE, as well as the [flirt] in the conversation when you are alone with your companion of choice.  
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When your actions or conversation choice will start or end a romance, from KOTFE onward, you will receive a pop up warning that looks something like this. 
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Caption: This choice will begin a romance with Lana Beniko. Are you sure you wish to proceed? CONTINUE - CANCEL Once you have this scene, MAKE SURE you finish chapter 9 entirely so your choices don't get wiped out in a future patch!
7. My companion is stuck in place and won't move. 
There you go, charging into the fray...there's your companion, lingering awkwardly at the threshold and not participating. Oops. You can usually wake them up by sending them away and then bringing them back. Easy ways to do this include: 
1) Send them to sell junk (press N. Go to your companion who is with you. Press the little icon near their name to get them to sell the junk. Depending on the legacy perks you have purchased they will be gone for between 5 and 30 seconds)
2) Summon another companion, any of them, and then summon back the one you want. 
3) It didn't work? Sometimes companions do seem to go on strike and you will probably just want to summon another to continue playing. This is a good reason to remember to have more than one companion at high influence, if you can, so you can switch as needed. 
8. My companion keeps falling over. 
Sternly tell your companion it's not time for a nap. Kidding. They really don't care. Any time is nap time. The steps in #7 should work to wake them up again. 
9. I'm trying to loot something and it's telling me "out of range." 
First, are you sure it's your loot and not some other player's? If it's yours, you can sometimes pick it up by walking away and then returning. Other times, look for someone else nearby to loot. I've on occasion found things unlootable, which is frustrating. 
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nejishadow · 4 years ago
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My Carrd Commission Info Please commission me to draw cute stuff like this, I absolutely will draw Klance more if paid agdhdfk This was a piece I posted on Instagram a few days ago, but I wanted to clean it up more. Edited it digitally to smooth out some colors and up the saturation, much better! I'll probably post this version to Instagram next week to give some time between versions If you haven't been following me on Instagram or Artfol (NejiShadow) or shadowfreak and I on Twitter you're missing out! I'm posting once or twice a day on Instagram, Twitter queue is set to once per day, and I'm trying to post once a day to Artfol of full pieces (wips and such stay on Instagram). I used to post to dA once a week but I hate Eclipse, so I rarely log into my main account (I'm on NejiShadowAdopts 85% of the time). Shadowfreak have (obviously, if you've looked at her page or anywhere else for me) been mega into Voltron. We finished the show about a month ago now and were devastated, but we knew we were walking into something bad, we actually talked hard about whether we should watch S7 and S8 but I convinced her we were in for the long haul, no backing out (but god season 7 was B O R I N G). So I've been drawing lots of Voltron fanart! Obvs We were absolutely robbed of Klance and I could rant for 20 minutes on every detail of how/when/why they should have been for story and development reasons if nothing else (ask shadowfreak98, I pointed out every moment in the first two seasons between them when she was originally confused on why people shipped them haha) and so I'm helping remedy that by drawing lots of wholesome Klance. I'm a sucker for cat x rabbit pairs so of course, Lance had to be a floppy eared rabbit. Keith is a cat because Galra I will probably be doing a lot of kemonomimi Voltron because I don't like drawing shoes honestly haha. And ears can frustrate me sometimes. I'm still debating on Pidge, I'm thinking fox?? Because Hunk is a bear, Adam is a buck, Allura a horse / unicorn, and Shiro is a lion, but Pidge is just stumping me. Anyways follow me on Instagram if you want consistent art! I feel way less pressured to post sketches, and just post in general over there. Also it's easier to answer comments (DMs were turned off months ago due to those mega annoying spam chat bots) Voltron Legendary Defender(c) Dreamworks Animation Art (c) NejiShadow You're not allowed to use this art
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a-singleboat · 4 years ago
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Virtual Reality
Word Count: 2.4k
Request: hi! if your taking requests, i was wondering if you could write a damien x reader, where they meet through Twitch? add anything else you want i always love everything you write, thanks so much!! - anon
Warning(s): like, one swear
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It was a Thursday night when you first met him, or rather, heard of him. You had been streaming for five hours heading into your sixth when you decided it might be time for you to log off for the night. As per usual, you took at least thirty minutes at the end of your stream just to talk with your viewers, usually about how their lives were going in exchange for a story from your own day. 
Tonight, however, there was an influx of people asking if you’d ever heard of a streamer by the name of Damien Haas, which you hadn’t, and if you would do a collaboration with the man anytime soon. Apparently, your content was eerily similar and you were, and I quote, “Practically the female version of him, looks aside.” 
“Damien Haas…” you rolled yourself back closer to your desk, hands settled on your keyboard. You typed his name into the search bar, patiently waiting for Twitch to pull up his account. You clicked into the first one, making an impressed face at the purple checkmark next to his name. You squinted at the screen. “Is this him? In the profile picture with the LEDs in the background?” 
You glanced at your chat, chuckling as the viewers started spamming ‘yes’ and ‘oh my god it’s happening,’ and your personal favorite, ‘mom come pick me up the best crossover of 2020 is happening and im SCARED.’
“He plays a lot of Animal Crossing,” you observed, clicking on one of his videos and dragging the tab onto your main monitor so the stream could see it. You skipped through the beginning part, biting into a pretzel as you watched. 
“He’s kinda cute,” you commented, laughing as your stream freaked out once more. There were a few people commenting what looked like it could be a ship name though you ignored it. “Shame I’d never meet him, though.”
You paused his video, taking note of the time, before rolling out your shoulders. “I think it’s time for me to head out so I’m gonna end this stream with a huge thank you to you all for sticking with me through this entire stream and if you didn’t stay the entire time, I’m glad you decided to join in on the ride even halfway through. I’ll see you guys next time.”
You ended the stream, waving goodbye to your viewers before the light went out and you could relax the smile off your face. Don’t get it twisted, you loved streaming and you loved your viewers but just like any other job, it could get exhausting at times. You shut down your monitors, the screens turning blue before fading to black. You stretched, taking your phone up from its charger and launching yourself into bed, opening your phone and clicking on Twitter. 
Much like staying thirty minutes after you were done streaming to talk to viewers, you usually went on Twitter right after to answer questions and respond to DMs. This time, however, instead of opening the app to see a bunch of post-stream questions, your mentions were filled with the video clip of you saying, “He’s kinda cute,” as well as maybe a million people tagging both you and Damien in them. 
Well, shit. 
Soon enough, that was all that filled your timeline. You couldn’t move in one direction without running into another screencap of you admiring the man. God, you knew the consequences but something in the back of your mind was urging you to reach out to him.
After a few moments of contemplation, the lonely side of you won out, forcing you to message him against your better judgment. Without even thinking about it, you found his Twitter and sent this message:
Hey, I’m sorry about your mentions blowing up because of me tonight. My viewers recommended your Twitch to me and I spoke without thinking about it on Live. 
And with no expectation of his response, you fell asleep right there with your phone on your chest and the DM still open. 
You woke up the next morning with a sore neck and a dead phone, which was a terrible way to start your day. You rolled over, plugging your device into an outlet before crawling out of bed to start your day. When you weren’t streaming, you worked as a freelance editor for different YouTubers, helping their editors with their workload or even staying on as a Temp for different companies. Occasionally you edited the odd commercial here and there, but those gigs were rare. 
Most recently, you had received some material from a group of YouTubers, Smosh. This job was different, however, because if you did well on this you could be looking at a permanent place of employment through their parent company, Mythical Entertainment. 
You knew Mythical Entertainment, it was hard not to, especially since your aunt was one of the producers within the company, but tended to ignore everything the company did. The last you’d heard, they’d onboarded another YouTube group (which you did later find out to be Smosh, the same YouTubers whose video you were hired to edit). 
 After a quick shower and a half-assed attempt at a proper breakfast, you were ready to start your day. You situated yourself behind your monitors, opening the video clips that had been sent to you. The first was a sample video, something that gave you insight on what their editing style was actually like. 
But imagine your surprise when you’re staring down the same man you have called cute the night before, his approximately five-eleven stance taking up one-sixth of the space. He was standing next to a blond, who had been marked as “Shayne Topp.”
Despite there being five other people in frame, your eyes kept moving back to Damien’s figure, watching his mannerisms through the screen and laughing along to his jokes when they fell upon deaf ears. 
Your eyes slid over to your phone, now decently charged after sitting for so long. On your screen were dozens of notifications. There were maybe two from your mom, asking if you’d be coming home for dinner sometime that week but the majority came from Twitter. You picked up the device, unlocking and responding to your mom with a, “yes,” before opening Twitter. 
Nothing much had changed from the night prior. Your mentions were still being flooded with the video from last night but newer content had been ushered in, namely fan edits using footage from your streams and, you assumed, his. 
The only major difference, however, was the fact that Damien had responded to your DM from the night prior. The first message read: 
It’s really no problem! My stream had mentioned your name before, too.
Followed by the second:
P.S. I think you’re cute, too.
You couldn’t believe your eyes. Mr. Damien Haas, the man that you had made a thoughtless comment on stream about, also thought that you were cute. Suddenly, the fact that you had been staring at him for the past hour seemed less stalkerish and more like a blooming crush. You wrote back:
Aw, thanks! Have you seen the newer fan edits? They’re all so talented.
You cringed at yourself. A cute boy started talking to you and you’ve suddenly forgotten how to be suave, not that you really were in the first place. But still, you liked to think you had some tact when talking to people that you found attractive. 
Not even a moment later, there came a response. 
Yes, I have, he responded. And I agree! They are all very talented individuals. 
You looked from the monitor in front of you. You had about a quarter of the footage left to go through before you could start editing but this technically wasn’t due until the following night. Feeling emboldened by the fact that he had actually responded, you replied:
Are you going to TwitchCon on Friday? We should meet up or something. 
Anxiously you awaited his response, taking his silence as an opportunity to watch a bit more of the footage and take down notes according to the sample they’d given you. Roughly thirty minutes later is when the next response came in, reading as an affirmative to both questions. 
You didn’t respond, choosing to leave your social media for after you’d finished editing the video. Your heart still pounded, however. Just the thought that there was a possibility for the two of you to meet was, simply put, insane. You’d just heard of the guy the night before and decided that he was going to be your latest hyperfixation. 
But who could blame you? He was a nice, funny guy that showed the slightest bit of attraction towards you. It didn’t help that you were a sucker for guys that were nice to you. 
Fast forward to the Friday of TwitchCon, also known as the first day of TwitchCon. You and Damien had been talking steadily over Twitter DMs and just last night you had gained his phone number, giving you even more access to the man than you had before. But of course, who were you if you didn’t tease your fans with the prospect of you meeting. 
The night before, at the end of your stream, you’d given your fans the little tidbit of information that you and Damien were, in fact, planning on meeting up sometime during TwitchCon and would be greeting fans together for an hour at your booth. 
That sent Twitter into a frenzy, both of your combined fans getting your ship name to trend within the hour, which confused the hell out of a bunch of locals. 
It was nearing the time you and Damien had set to meet up. The plan was you’d meet around twelve for lunch, take an hour for yourselves, before going back to your booth and meeting with fans for an hour or so as promised. 
You had never been more nervous than you were in that moment. Not only were you about to meet your three-day-old crush but apparently a very popular YouTuber. You tried not to let the thought mess with your head. One of your friends, Wilbur Soot (who you played Minecraft with from time to time) was poking fun at you for being nervous about meeting a popular YouTuber. 
After three years of streaming and gaining a solid following, you’d think you’d be used to meeting other popular content creators. But because it was him, you found yourself unable to think straight. 
“What if I fuck up?” you asked Wilbur anxiously. He’d flown in from London for this event at your insistence and because you’d offered to pay half his airfare to get there and back. He didn’t have his own booth as his arrival was very last minute, but he didn’t mind. He signed the occasional poster though his main purpose was to provide you mental and emotional support. 
“You won’t fuck up,” he comforted, leafing through one of the comics a fan had given you. The entire thing was hand-drawn, which was an insane fact in itself. It looked professional, which was what blew you away when you’d received it. “Well, you won’t fuck up as badly as you did when you first met Schlatt.”
You groaned in embarrassment. “Don’t remind me.”
Long story short, you’d dumped a red in color slushy on the man accidentally after tripping over an unmarked cable. It really wasn’t your fault but the boys hadn’t let you live it down since then. 
Half a moment later, Wilbur was poking your side. “Is that him?” he asked, jabbing his pointer finger into your side while looking in the opposite direction. He was looking at a familiar figure walking down the hallway toward your booth. He stopped for a moment to take a photo with a fan, talking to them about something, before continuing on his way toward you. 
Your eyes locked and you gave him a smile while trying to beat Wilbur into no longer poking you. He stopped when you slapped his arm the first time, sticking his tongue at you before going on his phone. You rolled your eyes at his half-assed attempt of pretending he wasn’t about to start listening in on your conversation. 
“Hey, Y/n, right?” Damien asked as he approached. You nodded, reaching out for a handshake but becoming pleasantly surprised when he instead pulled you in for a hug. 
“You ready for lunch?” you asked glaring slightly at Wilbur as he made kissy faces over Damien’s shoulder. Luckily, Damien hadn’t noticed your moron of a best friend. 
“Yeah, I saw this sushi place on the way in if you wanted to try that?”
“I’d be down,” you agreed, reaching behind your table to grab your bag. Wilbur was set to meet with a few other Minecraft streamers, meaning you didn’t have to worry about him while you had lunch. You looked over your shoulder, making sure everything was set for you to leave before saying goodbye to Wilbur. 
Over the course of lunch, you and Damien had gotten to know each other pretty well. Once the conversation moved away from your fans and, well, work, and more into personal details, you found that you actually weren’t all that similar. For starters, Damien loved watching anime while your guilty pleasure was Gilmore Girls. The one show you both had a love for, however, was Avatar the Last Airbender, which made sense. 
Another thing was that he actually enjoyed being in front of the camera while you tolerated it on most days, really only putting on your face cam for the last thirty minutes on most days. Despite that, he still classified himself as an introvert. 
You returned back to your booth much later than you anticipated, thoroughly shocked at the line that had formed with Wilbur at the front of it, entertaining the fans that had shown up early to meet both you and Damien. 
“Y/n!” one fan called, pointing in your direction. Immediately, the entire line turned and gaped at the sight of you and Damien walking together. You greeted them happily, stopping for pictures and verbally promising that you’d stay until you got to meet everyone personally. 
“You really love your fans,” Damien observed as you put your things back down behind the table. Wilbur had set up shop on your right side, chatting with a few people at the front of the line. 
“I wouldn’t be anywhere without them,” you admitted, pulling a silver sharpie from your bag. You handed a gold one to Damien. “I also wouldn’t have gotten to meet you without them, which I’m still sorry about, by the way. Your feed must have been chaotic.”
“You have no idea,” he chuckled. “But everything happens for a reason.”
You nodded, grinning up at him. “Yes, they do.” 
Permanent
@beautiful-holland @toms-order @starlightfound @grandmascottlang @positiveparker @bippity-boppity-boopa @caswinchester2000 @andreasworlsboring101 @imladylunaticbitch​
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jaemtens · 3 years ago
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check in tag
okay okay i’ll do it! i haven’t done a tag game in ages... i was tagged by @soonhoonsol, @njaems, and @sanshine
1. why did you choose your URL?
because jaemin and ten are two of my favorite nct boys and they had just posted this selfie together :(
2. any side blogs?
i don’t have any active sideblogs, but i have a few URLs saved and i did run @daily-shua for a while
3. how long have you been on tumblr?
my first account is from like 2014, but i’ve had this blog since 2017.
4. do you have a queue tag?
nah, but i’m not here that much so it’s probably my queue. i usually schedule my self reblogs for 1 am / 7 am / 1 pm / 7 pm EDT so they’re not too annoying
5. why did you start your blog in the first place?
i was really into bts at the time and i wanted to have a separate kpop blog/account because i ran a few meme blogs on my “main” account. i don’t think i’ve logged into that account for two years now lol
6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?
out of all of the resonance teasers, it was the least painful as;dfkja;fdsk. plus i love blonde jaem + the outfit they had him in for departure version. i’ve thought about changing it lately, the newest candylab promo images are definitely my vibe.
7. why did you choose your header?
i suck at making headers and i was revamping my blog so i made the gif of markie as a placeholder. now it’s been there for like 8 months a;slfdkja;fdskdf; (i also should update that to the candylab shoot? or choose a black bg jaemin gif)
8. what’s your post with the most notes?
omg i thought it was this ateez gifset from their answer comeback, but renjun with the tiny kitties is actually beating it now!
9. how many mutuals do you have?
i think i’m mutuals with most blogs i follow, so probably 150+
10. how many followers do you have?
~12000
11. how many people do you follow?
225, but that’s probably inflated with a bunch of inactive blogs
12. have you ever made a shitpost?
oh i used to make a bunch of memes lol. a lot of them are embarrassing tho so i’m not going to share them here. i’ll just link this reblog from yesterday instead
13. how often do you use tumblr each day?
probably a few hours in the morning and then i’m done for the day~
14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?
lol i usually try not to get involved with shit, but i definitely did not get along with certain seventeen blogs back in like late 2019. the tumblr fandom felt really cliquey back then. i think it’s much happier and cohesive now, especially since most of those people left for twitter.
15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?
i don’t reblog them.
16. do you like tag games?
tbh i usually don’t do them unless i’m tagged by like 3+ people, and then i’ll consider it a;slfdkja;fdk
17. do you like ask games?
yeah! i try to do one every few weeks~ i should probably do one soon when i have some more time
18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?
in seventeen: @jonghan and @soonhoonsol / in ateez: @holy-yeosang @sanshine and @songmingki / idk yet in nct / in tbz: @hwqll and @leesangyeon
19. do you have a crush on a mutual?
nah, unless jaem is one of my mutuals lol
20. tags?
i have no idea who’s done this but @jonghan @holy-yeosang @songmingki @leesangyeon @hwiyoungies @ohoshi and @taeminnomuyeppeo
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entropy-game-dev · 4 years ago
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Getting organised in 2021
Huh, me? No I mean you! You!
I'm sure many people are looking ahead to 2021, and, with the new year comes renewals of goals, habits, motivation and so forth. I'm not really about that, but I thought now would be an apt time to talk about what I've learnt over the past 2 years regarding project management and keeping motivated. 
Now, I want to preface this blog with my thoughts about the whole "productivity" thing. I make a huge, HUGE distinction between being productive at work and productive on your hobbies. The idea of productivity in the workplace can be used in a manipulative fashion, where one may work themselves to mental and physical exhaustion for the benefit of someone else. Considering most people reading this will probably be on a fixed wage (rather than commission-based), does it really make sense to push oneself harder without getting any immediate, tangible benefit from it?
So that’s my rant for the blog, I promise! Anyway, on the other hand we have productivity on your hobbies, which is a completely different matter. You get out exactly 100% of what you put into your hobby, and it'll benefit you in multiple ways. I don't think I need to sell this to you, as I'm sure most people, myself included, would love to be more productive on their own personal projects. In this blog, I'm going to be talking exclusively about this sort of productivity and how to improve it in a couple of different ways. Again, this is all stuff I've personally tried and tested, so while I am confident this approach will work for me, it may not necessarily work for you. But, you won't know until you try!! So if you're convinced and want to get motivated, read on!
I first want to talk about one's mindset, and then dive into the tools I use. The latter will provide a bit more context for the former, and in the end, the most powerful tool you have is your brain, so use it!
Training your brain
So, the biggest problem I find myself, and other people have, is how to tackle a project and starting a work session. One I start, I find it easy to get into the zone (and this comes back to the choice of tools that augment my workflow), so getting started and knowing what I'm doing is the main thing I have to tackle. 
On the broadest level, I work with a general plan that has been written up previously. This contains all the key points from start to finish, without worrying too much about the detail at this stage. There is some skill involved in identifying what constitutes a "key" point, but this all comes down to practice. For reference, if I estimate something will take a week or two to finish, that's a task. If something will take longer than that, it's more than likely several tasks, and rolling it up into one task will probably cause some decision paralysis. Anything smaller and your list will get too clogged up, and again, decision paralysis. Right, so that's your high level plan done. Cool, but not really going to help you on a day-to-day basis as this will be something to refer to between tasks.
Ok, so now you have a list of chronological tasks. Take the first one and start it. Oh, you don't know where to start? Don't worry, I'm with you. It's important to recognise the mental signs related to approaching a task. If I find myself hesitating or not looking forward to a particular task, it often means I haven't defined it well enough. That means breaking the task down into individual steps, until you're comfortable saying "yep, I can do this right now" with each dot point. Again, it'll take some practice (depending on your hobby) to visualise and write down each step, but it is definitely something that you get used to, and will save you so much time umming and aahing with your program of choice open, but not actually getting any work done. If you are finding that happens more often than not, it breaks your workflow and you can't get into the zone!
A few more general tips. It helps to be consistent with your work. Try to dedicate a regular time to your hobby and you'll find it a lot easier to get into the working mindset and the zone. Allow yourself some days off, but don't use the excuse of "not being motivated enough" as a reason to take time off. What would be better is, if you can't force yourself to, say, program, work on the art, or the sound, or design. But do it consistently! 
Be accountable as well. This means involving others as much as you can - as an example, say you want to discuss a design aspect with a friend and you'll find extra motivation to work on that aspect, and get it ready for someone else to read over. Just having that knowledge of another person looking at your work will bring it to a new level, trust me! You can also be held accountable to people you don't know! Part of the reason why I started this blog and my Twitter account was because I always have in the back of my mind while working, that it'll eventually make its way to my blog. 
Finally, if your hobby has one, make use of the community where possible - get involved and see if there are ready made templates or resources you can use. I know people like to do things without help, and I absolutely respect that, but I find that people have often gone through the same struggles as you, and will provide ways to make your life easier!
Tools of the trade
Ok so I've used a lot of different software and systems in my time, and by process of natural selection the ones that I still use today are the ones that have been most helpful for me! Here's a short list with both the specific thing I use, and in brackets, what I use it for. If you already use something similar that fill a similar role, then my suggestion is to stick with what you know:
ClickUp (Project management, checklists): This is where I keep a list of all my major tasks. You can have checklists nested in checklists which is amazing for planning, and can organise things into broad categories, and tons more. Any good project management software like Trello etc. should support this.
Google Drive (Cloud storage of other assets, easy sharing, MS office replacement): I use this to store anything that isn't code related, and to work on things simultaneously with other people. While this game is a mostly solo effort, I absolutely discuss and show a ton of stuff to my more experienced friends, who in turn provide very helpful feedback. It's much nicer and more organised than sending files through a messaging app or (heaven forbid) emails!
Bitbucket (Source control, cloud storage of code): If you code, you need this. I don't care how small your project is! Actually, smaller projects are better to learn from! Github is definitely used the most for source control, so if you like that more, use it!
Google Keep (Note taking, brain dumps): Ever had a genius idea right before bed? Same, and I use Google Keep to keep track of them. I could use Clickup in this instance but I find the app to be a bit clunky compared to Keep.
Notepad++ (Rapid notes, copypasting error messages): Notepad ++ is what I use mainly for copypasting error messages to look at later, but I also use it when I need to break down a sub-task down, or make a note to do something later without interrupting my flow. The fact that Notepad++ specificaly can have multiple tabs and will save your tabs automatically without you having to manually save it is amazing.
Good 'ol pen and paper (Scratchpad): For those REALLY hard problems that can't be solved in my head, I turn to pen and paper to get my thoughts organised. While I could use something like Notepad++, I find that being able to write and draw anywhere on the paper, and link things up with lines helps immensely to get a clear idea of things.
Summing up
Right, so, that's about it from me. If you have any questions or want me to elaborate on something I've mentioned here, feel free to leave a comment or an ask. In any case, I hope you’re feeling more motivated now, and all the best for your personal projects in 2021!
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P.S. I've know I’ve been a bit quiet lately because I'm working on designing the five factions present in the demo - I can't reveal much lore about them (as those will be in logs you'll find in-game), but I will be showing off some more designs and gameplay mechanics in the near future, so look forward to it!
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lokisasylum · 3 years ago
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Check In Tag!
Tagged by : @parkandblues (thanks, hun  🦋)
1. Why did you choose your url?
“lokisasylum”... I think i’ve explained this a lot, but “Loki” is a nickname I was given since my school days because I was a hardcore trickster & would get away with anything and everything. I also recall being VERY persuasive when caught until I got off the hook. While “Asylum” comes from an album by Disturbed (one of the bests I own).
2. Any sideblogs? If you have them name them and why you have them?
Yep, @arsenicbutterfly which is like an aesthethic/anime/cyberpunk/steampunk/grunge blog, and I also have @lokirasengan-fc which I originally created with the intention of moving all my fanart/artwork (also promote my Society6 & Redbubble shops) to in order to separate my main blog for BTS news/post and that one for artwork but none of my mutuals really followed me on it so its basically a dead blog >_>
3. How long have you’ve been on tumblr?
I think since 2010 which is the same year the (Disturbed) “Asylum” album came out.
4. Do you have a queue tag?
I don’t know, never really thought about it.
5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?
Hmm... I remember 2009-2010 to be a very chaotic years.
- the Death Note fandom went up in flames due to the MILLIONS of cases of cyber bullying (some ending in s**cide). I remember being part of this RP group within the fandom that I ended up quitting when I got admitted into Graduate School and because 2 of the oldest members ended up being actual PSYCHOS. (Which is why I also quitted roleplaying)
- Deviantart was rumored to either be shutting down or heading into a worse fate since they started censoring Mature Art/Literature/Fanfics (I remember all the artists who had their 20something chaptered fics and comics OBLITERATED off the site without a reason). So many people left DA for other blogs and I remember thinking the same, that I needed to migrate elsewhere. I tried 2 new social medias that eventually disappeared with less than a year of existence and then there was tumblr with had apparently been created for that very purpose (as a refuge for artists & people in general who were disappointed or got screwed over by the system). Which is funny because tumblr ended up the same way...
I still kept both my DA accounts active and I still post ALL of my artwork/photography there.
6. Why did you choose your icon?
I usually changed my icon frequently, but this recent/current icon is special to me, because it was made as a tattoo design for my Jikook Vampire fic (Forever, You Said) of a butterfly trapped between a Full Moon/New Moon. Its a matching tattoo between jikook (Jimin’s is a yellow butterfly inside a new moon, while JK’s is a blue butterfly inside a full moon). Meant to symbolize how both existed in the same timeline separated by two worlds with Jimin being a vampire and Jungkook being human, but their lives got intertwined since their first meeting.   
7. Why did you choose your header?
[I legit had to go back and check what my header was ‘cause i forgot]
Because I mean... Its Park Motherfucking Jimin.
8. What’s your post with the most notes?
Like... this month? I think its the post about BTS as Flower Spirits from the HYBE museum.
9. How many mutuals do you have?
Few but I love them (same)
10. How many followers do you have?
635... damn, when did that happened?? WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?!
11. How many people do you follow?
Like 14ish? Most of them were fanartists I really admired, but sadly most of them aren’t active or left for Twitter cause people kept coming to tumblr to steal their art and post it on twitter/instagram. So they moved to twitter in order to have some “control” over their works, but now people steal their art from Twitter and come to post it on Tumblr 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️
And this is why I still post most of my art on Deviantart.
12. Have you ever made a shitpost?
I... I dunno, have I? Oo
13. How often do you use tumblr each day?
24hrs/7 days a week, I never really log out of tumblr. So I just wake up, eat breakfast/lunch (whatever’s available at 11am), do chores around the house, make sure my fam’s healthy, fed and comfy before I jump back into tumblr where I kill off most of the day and night. If I’m not here I’m on deviantart or Ao3.
14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? Who won?
I usually avoid going to other blogs to argue per se because most of these blogs that shitpost for the sake of creating conflict are very young and very ignorant. They never see reason/logic even when you slap ‘em across the face with receipts. So I don’t bother.
HOWEVER, ain’t afraid to calling people out through my own posts from time to time without the need to name names. If it fits, it ships and if you offended that’s a YOU problem.
15. How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?
I avoid them as much as possible. I’m like Taehyung on that note, I’m the type of person that if you try to force me to do something and I see no benefit (for me) in it? I won’t do it.
16. Do you like tag games?
Yes, they’re fun and break the monotony.
17. Do you like ask games?
I do... but no one ever interacts with me for them 🙃
18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?
Eehh.. maybe @utopiajeon , @debrenner , @aikimei
19. Do I have a crush on a mutual?
I mean I love them and think they’re awesome people, but I also think of them as the children I don’t plan on having in the future. LOL
20. Tags?
@utopiajeon @doctorcerberus  @i-like-plain-rice @corkytheguar   anyone who wants to do it!🌸
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rochey1010 · 4 years ago
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In loving memory of one of the most funnest and frustrating fandom experiences i've ever taken part in....and it's all down to that iconic pan legend Eliott Demaury. Let's recap shall we?
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This was the first wind the fandom got of Eliott's insta. And we were all yay, first Even to have social media. And then we saw it. 😳 and yeah it was disappointing to begin with. Kinda boring, and the tag was enter_polaris 'catch me if you can' And then a flashlight emoji. Guys we didn't even know what polaris was, as Eliott hadn't appeared. But like with Otteli in S6. He was teased and the fans were salivating over seeing him. 😆
So after the initial disappointment. Remember, you see the whole jumbled up puzzle now. But that's not how it was. It was like 3 puzzle pieces to start off with. And i'm telling you once us fans understood it was a jigsaw we happily began to play Eliott Demaury's game. 🤗
So this is how it worked; Each time Eliott would make an appearance, a jigsaw piece would be posted and the fans would sherlock holmes that shit. 😄 twitter was the best at keeping up to date with our puzzle. So many fans would be conversing back and forth over what it could be. So again Eliott would make an appearance, another piece of the puzzle would go up. Eventually us fans started to see a pattern. It looked like possibly something from the polaris storyboard. Then a fan sorta traced one of the pieces and noticed it looked like interlocked hands.
Eventually this repeated till the whole puzzle was up with a riddle 'To enter Polaris trust cesar' right back to square 1. The bitch just put a riddle in the puzzle. Jesus Eliott you're really making us work for it. 😑 so again to twitter where super smart fans were convinced it was astronomy based. As polaris is the brighest star in the northern sky, a guiding light. So we were thinking oh it has to be an insta with a star or galaxy name. Not joking guys, star charts were being looked at to solve this shit. 😆 and then someone said that maybe it was a nod to isak in OG and the Ceasar outfit. No, that was wrong too. Then the bitch went and changed his caption to 'this is not my main account' well the fandom went nuts. And instagram got overloaded by follow requests. To the point where anything that could resemble something of Eliott, like raccoon names were suspected of being his account. 'Kodelike' was a very popular account to be Eliott's. But yeah we were so numerous and annoying that loads of private accounts had to change their captions to 'this is not Eliott' 😂
Anyway, long story short, don't know who did it but a fan worked out that it could be a cipher. Like a code that breaks down into his insta. We all jumped on it. Yep we're gonna solve this. Eliott we're coming. It turned out to be correct. It was the Cesar code. Which is basically moving the alphabet 3 places down. And how Julius Ceasar encrypted his letters. So we broke it. And Polaris became @srodulv insta
We all rejoiced. We did it. The bitch annoyed the hell out of us for ages with his intellect, mystery and boner for puzzles. But now we caught him. But we weren't ready for what we found. When we logged into his insta our hearts melted. Eliott the extra ass bitch had been posting about Lucas. So he'd go home after an interaction and immediately doodle or draw his feelings. If the fandom hadn't fallen for Eliott by now. This did it. That romantic ass had a love journal about Lucas. And hints to his mental state too.
So i had to bring this back. Because that marketing the show pulled. A fun treasure hunt and immersing the fandom in it. Uniting us all to find Eliott. Well it just hasn't been replicated since, across the entire skam universe. They did a more low key 'Otteli hype' the week of S6 Eliott arriving. but it was nothing on the madness and the exciting adventure we all went through to find our mysterious raccoon.
This is just a hint of the frustration that raccoon put us through:
And that is only one of the reasons why Eliott Demaury will remain a legendary character in the skam fandom.
I miss you raccoon king 🦝😥💜
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laraslandlockedblues · 4 years ago
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I have something I’ve been thinking about, especially now that I’m back over on Twitter (admittedly with a new account than I’d had before) and have been trying to reconcile how I utilize different platforms and why.
Long rambles so I’ll be sure to tag this long post and put under a read more.
TL;DR - I essentially traumatized myself for a political group doing research after the 2016 election, and while I thought I could handle it I found out I could not. I walked away from politics and at the same time discovered that fandom/fanfic writing was alive and well and I lost myself into writing for DA. I literally did actively avoid politics through tumblr and fandom because it was what I needed to heal. It’s why I’ve been such a shitty ally, and while I know that doesn’t excuse my inaction and silence, it hopefully explains why I hid behind privilege and often didn’t speak up. However, moving forward, that will be different.
I can no longer stay silent.
Almost four years ago, after crying my eyes out on election night, I became part of a group that was trying to decide what the fuck we could do moving forward. We all took up roles and duties we were suited for, and at the start mine was to delve into research. I was good at it, and at the time I assured them that I was able to read things that could make your skin crawl and walk away unscathed. It was a skill we needed.
And so, I set to work. I dove into the world of pro-Trumpers, the alt-right, the radicalization of young white men through the internet, and I worked on learning. I would spend my days reading reddit, 4chan, wherever I could find them gathering and sharing their ideas and plans. I took notes. I studied their lexicon and wrote it down. I figured out how they dog whistled and what terms they used around “normies” to try to bring them into the alt-right. I studied how they were trying to “red pill” people. I studied the way they actively were trying to push the Overton Window so that their ideas could be enacted further down the road.
For weeks this was all I did.
At first I was fueled by my rage and disbelief at the election, and I was hopeful we could figure it out soon and overcome. As time went on, though, I lost that hope. I couldn’t walk away from the research unscathed. I carried it around with me, crying over what I was reading, what I was discovering. The depths of hatred in people shook me to my core, as well as the realization that I had been blind to it and even a part of it at one point. 
I was raised by conservatives who admire Ayn Rand, after all. It took me living out on my own and speaking to people from all walks of life that I finally began to shed both religion and my formerly held political views. Two of my closest friends are the children of illegal immigrants. They were the first of their families to graduate from college. Going to their graduation party (as well as others for their families) changed my whole world. Being the only white, English speaker in a room was exactly the kind of experience a lot of people in our country need to have.
And now I was having to research people who actively hated some of the best people I’ve ever met, and also actively worked to never be in the sort of situations I had found had changed me so completely as a person.
I gave up. I sank into such a deep depression I took to drinking more, drinking so that I could sleep instead of staying up until 5am, until I had to go seek a counselor. I was in a red state, in military healthcare, and my counselor only saw the symptoms and side effects of my depression, not the cause. I didn’t feel safe telling her that I was thoroughly depressed because of what I saw happening to my country. Because of the election.
So instead I was treated as an alcoholic, as if that was not a symptom and was in fact the main cause (don’t @ me, I know it makes it worse. But it was not the cause.)
Then I discovered Mass Effect for the first time. And I replayed Dragon Age. I fell in love with Garrus and once more with Alistair and Fenris and Cullen. Late at night, a little tipsy and wishing Garrus had had more of a romance, I googled him and discovered Ao3. And I began devouring fic. And then I had an idea for my own (Goose Bumps).
The rest is well-documented history, here.
I sought refuge in fandom and fanfic. I sought refuge in telling stories. I admittedly used some problematic tropes when I first started out, so enthralled by just finally *writing* again that I didn’t pay attention to how I was consuming the media. I hadn’t written in so long, having hit writer’s block with a mystery I’d been working on (inspired by the “sundown” town I had to visit in-laws in in Illinois), and the act of just writing anything was so liberating for me I gave little thought to anything else.
Never mind the fact that my first real interaction with someone in fandom led to me being manipulated, gaslit, and abused. We’ll gloss over that part.
But these things all compiled into a me who was no longer vocal when I saw things that were more than just concerning and needed to be addressed. I ignored things that made me angry. I saw mutuals sharing important political messages and my heart would start racing and I would log out for the day. I couldn’t see the content without having an adverse reaction to it. I also didn’t want to make myself a target by saying anything - after all, I had written fics and been targeted by an abuser simply for that. What sort of reaction would I get if I helped to call out problematic art and artists?
I was frozen by fear.
I let myself be silent. I let myself take refuge in my privilege as a white cis woman. I let myself only write and block anyone who was racist/sexist/ableist/terfs/you name it. I blocked and moved on.
Because I could.
I had that luxury.
I am no longer frozen by my fear. I am now emboldened by it. I understand wanting to seek refuge in fandom. I do. If moving forward me being political here on this platform causes you distress and you have to unfollow me, trust me.
I get it.
But I can no longer allow my silence to enable those who seek to cause harm. I can no longer stay silent in the face of what is happening in the world, in my country, in my backyard - in my fandom.
This is not in response to anything more than my determination to be better than I was. For three years I’ve allowed myself to seek shelter, while not allowing others the same decency or courtesy by creating a safe space free of racism or other harmful ideologies. I’m not the only one who deserves to seek shelter in fandom. White women are not the only ones who deserve to seek shelter in fandom.
If those statements seem radical or uncomfortable to you, feel free to show yourself the door.
This is not an attempt to explain away my past (in)actions. I don’t need pats on the back. I don’t need reaffirmation. These thoughts have just been circling in my head now that I’ve finally reconnected with that group and have been politically active on Twitter and my personal Facebook again. This blog is still mostly fandom and shitposts. But I also want to be better in how I participate here, instead of keeping it just to my Twitter.
Racists, TERFs, homophobes, sexists, fascists (yes, you’re a fascist if you’re “anti-antifa” get fucked), nazis, etc - none of your like are welcome here. My art is not for you.
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