#i love going on long unhinged rants about my favorite Guys

[onlyplatonicirl]

@lightyearssurrogatedaddy i saw your tags lol. cue incoming characterization essay because i dont want to do my homework:

I've actually attributed the sunk-cost fallacy to Error's mindset on multiple occasions, and it's something I'm going to be referencing in my writing when it comes up.

The sunk-cost fallacy is the core principle in regards to Error's character and why he does the things he does in TCOTI. You have this character (error) who has spent his entire life dedicated to an impossible goal: complete annihilation. At first it didn't really seem to matter whether or not it was pheasable - it was just something he felt that needed to happen. He made it his life's goal, he became the villian of the entire multiverse to see his plan through for what he thought would right the mess and clutter of a chaotic world that shouldn't have even existed. Of course, it's a stupid plan, and he has that plan because he's literally insane. Error's spent an untold amount of time in a white void, both his mind and body warping to an unrecognizable degree. His view of the world is skewed, and he sees things different than others - while being stubborn and refusing to listen to anyone's thoughts but himself.

My story (but you can apply this to potentially any story involving Error because I personally feel like it's on par with his character) takes place at least a century in the future. Time does not matter to world-walking immortals. He is no closer to his goal than when he first started. Why would he? Error is essentially trying to stop an immutable force of nature - the deviance of timelines and branching pathways of the multiverse. (And if we're taking the canon route in regards to creators, then he's attempting to stop people from creating.) It's a completely impossible task. Universes are created at a much quicker rate than he can destroy them.

Even in a hypothetical situation where he achieves his goal and nothing but the original universe remains, it's going to branch off again eventually. His goal of "killing everything and then himself" would never last because once he's gone, there won't be anyone else left to "take out the trash" that will once again branch off and spread through the entire multiverse. Not that it's ever even gotten to that point though.

And like a said - He's crazy. These aren't really concerns of his, nor is he following sound logic or reason to his plan. But while he is crazy, he is not stupid.

How long do you think it would take him before he realizes he isn't getting anywhere? That everything he destroys just ends up replacing itself in one form or another? My story is a hypothetical century later. He may be able to stall the growth by killing off a main universe, or potentially backtracking the progress, but it's not the same as permanently making a dent in the net growth. And perhaps he's eased himself into that routine, into being content with just keeping things at an even level of creation and destruction. But it's not the goal he has centered his entire existence around- and eventually in the very subconscious of his mind, after an uncountable amount of time doing the same thing his whole life -running on a treadmill towards nowhere - does he begin to wonder why he's still doing this.

It wouldn't even register to him as a fully formed thought. It would be a nagging feeling in his gut, a general unease. It would take him years to even recognize that something is wrong, to try and think about things that go against his ideology and his reason to be, as stubborn and narcissistic as he is. But eventually it surfaces as a fully formed thought:

Why is he still doing this?

He had a reason back then, but it's going no where. It's been ages. decades. Almost nothing has changed.

But the simple fact is, he can never really answer that thought. Because he has been on this path for so long, there is nothing else left for him outside of it.

Sunk-cost fallacy.

If he stops, if he tries to seek out an alternate path, than what was EVERYTHING he worked for for YEARS and YEARS even for?? He went through so much pain, he's isolated from the rest of the multiverse as a villain, he has solidified his place in the world. If he ever stopped, it would be admitting to himself that every second of his long existence so far has been a waste. That he has done nothing with himself, and that he worked for nothing but the insane whims of a corrupted mind, towards an unachievable goal.

The world continues to move on. The multiverse continues to grow and change. And he remains, destroying, and convincing himself that he's fine with forever keeping balence.

Because what else does he have left?

And the question he doesn't even think to consider: What of the future?

[lucky-clover-gazette]

my favorite moments from theamandafiles’s confrontation with volo. this is an adult woman talking to a screen for 7+ minutes and im obsessed with it. the dynamic she’s made up in her head for this game is so far from what’s actually happening, but also absolutely fantastic. the sneasler rant has nothing on this.

transcript under the cut:

He is so passionate about his thing, about his special interest. He really is. I am constantly losing my grip on reality. I have no room to judge Volo for a little bit of unhinged laughter and some mildly insane musings.

Hmm? Sorry, I just. I think I just realized what's going to happen. Sorry. Am I an idiot?

That was your—that was you who did the hole in the sky. Okay, mhm, all right. I got blamed for that, Volo, I don't know if you knew that. It's fine. Honestly, it's fine. Just let's keep, let's keep learning more about Volo.

Right, yeah, we did that! We did that, Volo, right? Didn't we fuckin' do that? Why don't we donate them to a museum or something? Wouldn't that be sick? Would that be fuckin' awesome if we put them in a museum for all to see?

What's—what's this? Hey, what the fuck? Who's this? Is this a prank? Surely, with the hair. Because I did not just see that you have a fuckin' Arceus hairdo.

Oh, okay! Volo's crazy! Right, right. Look at the fucking hair. Yeah! No, Volo's fucking crazy—yeah, no, he's a deranged lunatic.

Actually, yeah. Look at his eyes, oh my god. Volo's going to kill me and then cook and eat my remains. It's. It's fine. I'm fine.

Pokemon Wielder Volo? You mean (voice cracks) Gingko Guild Merchant?

You know what, Volo? I'm crazy, too. Look, I can match this. Like you said, when you said you were going to wipe out Jubilife City, I'm all for that. I am all for that. Absolutely! Yes! Let's do it. We can make this work. I am not invested in helping these people. Yeah, we live in a society? Not for long, am I right?

Just, I looked at the costume again. And his hair. He—he did his hair, you guys. And it's... bad.

First and foremost, what the fuck are you wearing? Literally, I keep looking at it. And the more you look, it's like, the more you look, the more you see.

I'm just really unpacking this... as I kick his ass. Anyway, where was I, Volo? Let me just continue to fuck you up. Volo is really doing this. Volo is really doing this. He's doing it in green pants.

He method acted an entire love story between us. Yeah, he is that crazy. He's that crazy, that he's going to let me slip through his fingers. Are you sure, Volo? You really sure? Maybe, like, that was your plan at first. Because if I may be so bold, uh, it's actually not even fucking possible for anyone to spend as much time with me as you have without falling in love with me.

Like I said, I said it before, and I will stand by that—and I'm about to beat you, by the way—

Call me. Call me, Volo! Oh wait, you can't, because we live in the fucking past, and you don't have a phone. And I do. Mhm, yeah. You know, you can't call me on your arc phone because Arceus didn't give you an arc phone, did he? Oh, poor Volo. He did his hair like Arceus and everything. And for what? Right. It was probably the green pants, Volo, honestly. And the gladiator sandals, what the fuck are you doing?

What the fuck was I thinking? God, why do I always go for these crazy ass fucking men?

I don't want to be picked by Arceus! If anything, I wanted to be picked by you! But unfortunately, I'm amazing. And Arceus loves me. I'm sorry that your little fucking hairdo didn't work to impress Arceus, and that all I had to do was literally exist and Arceus stanned the hell out of it.

What, are you going to kill me? He's going to kill me with a knife now just to get me out of the way. Like, what the hell, why does everybody want to fucking kill me?! I get it. I'm the best. I'm amazing. I'm the best that ever was. But murder is illegal, okay?

What is this? Are you fucking kidding me? What is this act? Oh, my god. Volo... this is very camp.

Volo is fucking crazy. Did I even get to heal these motherfuckers? Am I supposed to catch this motherfucker? This Satan ass Pokemon. This is Satan, I guess. And he came to, like, pull up for fucking Volo. Why? The hair? Was it the hair?

Finally, I got, like, a word in edgewise. Finally. Acorn, take this motherfucker out. Yeah. This is embarrassing for you. You're a God Pokémon? Where? You could have fucking fooled me, Giratina.

I do find it very inspiring that my little tugboat-ass Jay Jay the Jet Plane Togekiss, like, ended your entire bloodline. Mhm, yeah.

Volo! Oh, honey, sweetie, are you okay? Are you going to be okay?

He's fucking crazy. He's so crazy, Volo, I fucking love your crazy ass... but this is toxic of me to say, so, I hate it. I hate you. What was I talking about? Yeah. No, you're such a bad guy. You're the bad guy, Volo. I didn't even read that, fuck.

I know, Volo. Believe me, I would have agreed with you when those motherfuckers kicked me out in Jubilife City. I would have agreed if you had come to me then and you would've said, "Let's take down the whole fucking world. Let's end the entire planet." I would have said, "Okay. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Hell, yeah. That's exactly what I want to do right now." But you didn't. And now I'm here, and I'm... being noble, and I'm going to say, "You better stop, because this is not okay. Cut it out."

I'm crazy too, Volo, I'm so fucking crazy. I'm so unhinged, I'm crazy, nobody understands the inner workings of my mind, Volo, you don't get it.

This is your last chance to scoop me up as your partner. Honestly, Volo. That's what it is. I would fix your hair, I would. We would go back to the salon—to the salon!—I would fix it up. It's not that bad. It just needs a little shaping.

(Deep sigh) Volo, you could have had it all. I would have been your crazy bitch. We could have been Bonnie and Clyde, Volo. And we still can, honestly, if you say the word. And let me fix your hair. And also your outfit.

So I also just want to say really quickly, I noticed that you had a Togekiss, and that means that your Togepi that you had in the beginning evolved to a Togekiss. But in order to do that, I think you need to love your Togapi. So it's like, you do—you did have the capacity to love someone.

He's fucking unhinged. He's deranged, he's crazy. Like, why did his eyes go crazy like that? What the fuck?

He actually looks so good right now, like, minus the hair. The hair is so bad. Volo, that is the one and only reason Arceus did not choose you. Honestly, that's all it comes down to. Easy as that!

But I'm putting my thumb actually, on the—I'm putting it on the screen, over the weird part of your hair? I'm begging you. Let's destroy society together. Come on.

That's so sad, he's, like, hanging up his hat. Actually, please put the hat back on. He's giving me something—he's giving me the plate. Spooky plate. Yeah, that's for sure. That's for damn sure, Volo.

Why do you suddenly look so good? You know, you look deranged and crazy like a fucking lunatic. And I could have swore you off forever, but now you look so cute and good. And I'm like, what the fuck were you thinking, Volo? You threw it all away for what, the arc phone? Bitch. It's really not even that good of a phone. Honestly, there's, like, no games on it.

I don't know. I figured like, a true Arceus fanboy would be impressed and enamored by the girl who Arceus is simping for this hard. Like, if you were to date me, I'd literally bring you with me to meet Arceus, and you'd be able to live your stupid little dream.

Although I will say, for someone who so deeply wants me to fail, you giving me that last plate, that spooky plate... I dunno. It's just kind of interesting, and I am reading into it. Yes.

Volo you are fucking out of your mind. You're crazy. I tell you, you're fucking insane. Somebody wheel him off. Seriously, what the fuck? He's going out in public looking like that.

[inklore]

— CELEBRATING TWO YEARS OF LOVE.

let's pretend that i posted this on the real anniversary date (july 18th) and not a few weeks late ok. but i'm still shell shocked i honestly stayed around on here for this long, seeing as how i've been on this hellsite for over ten years maybe even longer, have left many blogs and sideblogs behind, but have stayed put on here for longer than it feels. even through all the craziness and friends gained and lost. i have not grown sick of this place and i know it's all because of my mutuals (and followers) aka the most beautiful, hilarious, talented souls anyone could ask to have on their side.

whether we are friends or have never spoken i love you, i adore you. thank you for making my time spent on here worth it even when times get tough and this little hobby of ours seems more like a stressful nine to five.

@deathmotif, @authurials, @theauthorvt, +annie — hey remember when we all met on wp and i started that silly little michael langdon gc on kik and it was a dozen of us in there but then it soon dwindled down to us five and kik was on the verge of imploding and we all moved over to snap and now we literally all talk every day, if not every other??! my day isn't complete without seeing one of you sending an unhinged video in the gc. IT'S BEEN SIX YEARS with you guys in my life and you know me better than anyone. i can tell you my darkest secrets, traumas, thoughts, and there's no judgment. it's literally the most healthy friend group ever. i'm forcing ya'll to dress up as barbie's for my bachelorette party, like you're stuck with me. barbie is serious. just as serious as my love is for each and every one of you. when i think about my life and future you guys are always in it. idk if we should thank cody fern or the antichrist or both. but whoever brought us together in this life i hope they do it in the next because life without y'all would suck.

@psychedelic-ink — you should already know how much i love you, but let me remind you, let me go on for ever and tell you how special you are to me ok. when i was balling my eyes out on the phone/discord you were there to listen to me be a blubbering mess, you were there to talk me down, to listen, to validate my feelings. when i need someone to be motivating and get shit done with me you're there. when i need to rant about something horny you're there to encourage the unhinged. our discord sleepovers are my favorite thing in the world. i'm still shocked when i think back to our casual messages on here turning into a friendship so close and tight that my man spent over $100 to send you a magazine (without question) because he knows how much you mean to me. you have my heart always!

@pedrito-friskito — i have the most vivid memory of me and sil talking about you on discord and how great you were and i was like um?? i wanna be friends with kay! so after we got off of the phone i messaged you and then before i knew it me, you, and sil were in a gc together and the rest is history. i love that you and i like to disappear without a word sometimes but always come back like lol sorry but here's this love and support and encouragement and let me just life update you but also make you horny with this thought, and sil just puts up with us and i love it. ily. i'm forever forcing you to write and publish every story you write because you're going to put sjm to shame with the beauty your brain comes up with.

@tom-whore-dleston — i know i'm the worst at replying but you never make me feel bad for it. you're like 'oh yeah her adhd brain will get back to this text in 2 to 3 business weeks it's ok', and i love you for it. but no seriously ily so much. you're the first person i think of when all i can think about is dick because i know you're thinking the same thing. i know you'll understand. every time i see you post on social media i'm like wtf?? why am i halfway across the states and not with the loml right now?? it's truly unfair because i know if we were together we'd be the most chaotic, loud, sluttiest duo ever. your talent always amazes me, your beauty makes me jealous. both of our partners better watch out because i'ma run away with you one day i swear!

@chaseadrian — the fact that we grew close in a fandom that i despise now and is more toxic than not and a beautiful friendship came out of it?? iconic. every time i think about you all i can think is 'they just seems like they have everything all together, their ideas, their graphics, their mind, the way they speak is like talking to that really cool english teacher' like lmao i cannot explain how much i want your vibe. i adore your vibe. i ADORE YOU.

@greenorangevioletgrass — as one of my first friends on this little blog of mine i feel like i need to do more than put into words how much i adore you, how grateful i am to call you a friend, to be a part of your presence on here. hearing your ideas, your living breathing fic-like life is serotonin to me. like please share in the sexy wealth bestie!

@sapphireplums — when i see you in my inbox i literally get this overjoyed feeling inside me like charity thought about me today?? took time out of her day to send me something?? i'm blessed. i hope you and your beautiful mind are thriving bestie because you're literally one of the nicest, softest, people i've met on here and i'm in your corner if you ever need me. to show you love and support. to continue to convince you that your themes will always be more superior than mine!!

@rae-gar-targaryen — if success and talent and beautiful prose (and face) was an olympic sport you would have won by now. you HAVE won. we may not talk as much as we used to but just know that i always am thinking about how you are, waiting patiently for you to bless us with more of your fics (even if it's a crumb i'm like a little mouse savoring it because hello?? emily henry who? she got nothing on you). as my lawyer i love knowing if i needed you you'd be there with a simple text, as my bestie, as someone i look up to, as someone who radiates elegance and something else i can't even put into words because that's literally how you leave me, speechless: never change and know i'm always here for you.

@allaboardthereadingrailroad, @littledemondani, @wroteclassicaly — the three of you were those 'big' accounts that always intimated me. i stood in the background reading your stuff and being like ok they're going to put me out of business and then being absolutely shook when you followed me, i felt like i made it. like this was what being on here was all about having the accounts you find the most talented and amazing, and who have wrote some of your fav fics, follow you. and we may not talk a lot but i cherish you guys so so very much. like even before i made this account, on my old accounts, i've always been your #1 fans!!

@kittyofalltrades, @namorwife, @yoditopascal — i may have all but died out and disappeared from the discord server, and we may not talk anymore, but some of my best memories are with you guys. the unhinged, the thirst, the games, the rantings, i've never been more entertained and chaotic and rowdy than i was with ya'll and i love it. i miss it. ya'll are still my favorite people, my loves, my besties. one day i will be horny over the same characters as ya'll again and you'll be annoyed with my thirst again.

@eupheme, @tripleyeeet, @wint3r-h3art, @ohcaptains, @celestianstars, @flordeamatista — if there were ever a group of beautiful people i constantly compare myself to because the way they write, the way their themes look, the way their fic layouts / set ups look, their graphics, their vibes, their talent, their so many damn things: it would be ya'll. like i'm constantly like how do i get on their level? like i know there's not levels on here and everyone is so uniquely special and amazing at what they write and do and make, but i'm always in the trenches of devoting and heart eyes over EVERYTHING ya'll post. ya'll are the cool art kids i want to hangout with but instead i'm screaming in cheer in the silent museum where your creations should be showcased.

@mothdruid, @moonlight-prose, @moondirti, @angrythingstarlight, @amywritesthings, @oncasette, @withahappyrefrain, @navybrat817, @bakerstreethound, @villenelle, @refined-by-fire, @ladylannisterxo, @emerald-chaos, @mxgyver, @foli-vora, @jettia, @moreofem, @bits-and-babs, @woodlandmouth, @fluffyprettykitty, @cocoamoonmalfoy, @galatially, @ladylannisterxo, @saintlike78, @buckys-estrella, @ghostlyfleur, @arctvrvs — through the two years of me being on here i have had the pleasure, the joy, of talking to each of you. whether that be screaming in asks, inboxs, discords, pms, where we were hyping each other up, sharing ideas, support, check ups, screaming over each others fics, whatever it may be. there has been love and support and every time i see ya'll in my notfis, reading my stuff, your thirst posts or rant posts or your rbs, i'm always grateful to see it. for it. to be a part of it. but most importantly i'm like: hello why are we not closer?? why do i not bombard them with my love?? annoy them with it so much so that they have no choice but to be my bestie and feel all the doormat love and support that i'm constantly feeling when i see their little icons and usernames. so this is me both saying i adore you, ily, we may not talk as much as i wished but i'm here supporting and loving everything you do and beware that i will annoy you with my love when you least expect it and soon you'll be wishing for me to get out of your pms. you have a friend in me, a supporter, a hyper, seriously i got lucky with y'all being my mutuals <3.

there's so many other babes that i'm missing but tumblr has a tag limit so i couldn't get everyone on this list but just know ily ily literally every single one of my mutuals is a gift from god to me. you put up with my posts and insanity, i have no choice but to give ya'll my whole ass heart!!!!

[shadow-the-crow]

hello hello ! just wanted to know, what is your favourite episode of tma so far ! feel free to go on a rant on why you live it so much

hehehe you have unleashed the rambling

So... there's the episode i really love for a good reason, and that should probably be my favorite episode, and then there's the episode i'm unreasonably obsessed with. (I wonder if other people do this too - seperate things they think are the best and their actual favorite things...)

I think mag 39 - infestation was the best one so far imo. As much as i like the individual statements, i'm still a character person at heart, so seeing the actual characters we've gotten to know and love in action was awesome. Not to mention not only multiple funny moments, but also Jon and Martin having a heart-to-heart?!! They were so cute. "A ghost?" And Jon talking about how he has always believed in the supernatural and and only pretended not to believe the statements... made me feel things.

And then there's mag 47 - the new door. I don't think it's the best episode so far, there are definitely multiple better episodes. But it's still my favorite because MICHAEL. I absolutely love this guy. He's just the type of character i always go crazy over. Kinda unhinged. Not human. A weird sense of identity. A weird voice. An even weirder, not really human laugh. Talking in riddles. Apparently on his own side, only helping the protagonists when he gets use out of it. I love everything about him. And the end of the episode... every sentence, every word was perfect. Every moment Michael spoke made me internally sqeak and kick my feet. (And i was in public when i listened to this episode so that was fun...) So yeah, i could literally write something about every sentence he says but that would be too long.

Thanks for asking @totheidiot ^^ I'd love to hear about your favorite too, it might be a spoiler for me, but if it is i'll just read it once i get to that episode. (Should i put this into your ask box idk o.o)

[nobodysdaydreams]

Hello! You mentioned enjoying well-written science fiction and fantasy books in the 5 things that make you happy. What are some of your favorite books in those genres?

That's a great question! The sad answer is that while I love sci fi and fantasy, I haven't had the opportunity to actually sit down and read any in the past few years (due to life things), but hopefully I can get back into it soon (I say as I casually take on a million other things).

However, I can talk about some of the books that I've read in the past that have left the biggest impression on me, and as I was thinking about it-

-I realized that one of these books perfectly leads me into an unhinged rant about one of my MBS theories involving Nicholas, Nathaniel, and SQ. Which I thought you might enjoy.

The book in question is "Double Identity" by Margaret Peterson Haddix. (I'll try to talk about the plot while being as spoiler free as possible).

The premise of the book is that a 12-year-old girl named Bethany discovers that she is a clone, created by her scientist/doctor parents, Hillary and Walter (I forget if one or both of them was a scientist or doctor, it might have just been her dad). They created Bethany when their older daughter, Elizabeth, died in a car accident at the age of 13. Basically, they were sad that their daughter died, so they decided to create a clone to replace her. Bethany, however, does not find out until age 12 that she's a clone or that she ever had an older sister. There's a lot of other stuff in the background involving other family members, this other guy, and some shady financial stuff (creating human clones is expensive), but what I've told you is the basis of it, and I won't spoil anything extra in case someone wants to read it.

Now, I read this book a long time ago, and I mean like over 10 years ago, and yet it has really stuck with me. Not only because of the cloning premise, though that is interesting, but also because of how the book shows just how far the grieving parents go to "recreate" the daughter they lost. For example, when Bethany is around three years old, her parents take her to the pool and "accidently" dunk her under water. Bethany happens to instinctively take a breath of air before going under, opens her eyes underwater, and loves it, later going on to swim competitively. However, Bethany's parents seem very unhappy about this. It's later revealed that Bethany's sister, Elizabeth, the sister she was cloned from, was also taken to the swimming pool by their parents and accidently dunked under water around the same age. Since that day, Elizabeth refused to go near water and devoted her athletic talents towards gymnastics instead. There's more examples, but it becomes creepily clear that Bethany's parents were trying to copy Elizabeth not just in her DNA, but in her life experiences, trauma included, and were very unhappy when things didn't work the same way they did the "first time around" (which. Being doctors, you'd think they'd understand that's not how it works, but they are also portrayed as being really unstable and in grief, especially the mom). The book also raises interesting ethical questions around the idea of "designer babies" and how selecting what genetic "traits" we want in our children can turn from good things like preventing fatal diseases to things like eugenics, capitalism/commercialism, and at its core, just another way of projecting our own values, ideas, wishes, and goals onto our children before they are even born and deciding a future for them that their environment and life experiences might steer them away from, possibly for very good reason.

Now, what does this have to do with an unhinged MBS rant?

If I was a normal sane person, absolutely nothing, but my brain is broken, so I find unhinged MBS rants everywhere. And this book leads me to a theory about SQ that I ultimately abandoned but will share here in case anyone is interested: That SQ is a clone of Curtain (and by extension, Nicholas, since they are identical twins, and as Miss Perumal points out in Season 1 "share the same DNA").

This theory does have some evidence supporting it and there are a few cool things they could do with it.

For example, we know that Curtain misses Nicholas and has always wanted a family, so it would make sense for him to either make a clone of himself as a "mini me" to be his own family since he believes no one else could ever love him (which is actually similar to one of "Double Identity's" subplots, spoilers again sorry), OR if he wanted to make a clone of Nicholas- a clone that "wouldn't leave him this time" - he could use his own DNA since he and Nicholas are identical twins.

Some more evidence supporting this theory are the fact that the actor who plays SQ kinda looks like the actor who plays Curtain/Benedict and the fact that the show states that SQ's birth dad was a neuroscientist who used to work with Curtain, but says nothing about SQ's birth mom (this would be a clever hint at Curtain making a clone to replace Nicholas- since he and Nicholas used to be close and Rhonda and Number 2 mention Nicholas giving neuroscience lectures). Further evidence is the fact that Milligan leaves Curtain's employ because as Curtain states "his conscience" wouldn't allow him to keep working there. So it's possible Milligan found out about Curtain's plans to clone himself a kid, deemed it unethical, and that's why he was brain swept.

There's some cool stuff the show could do with this theory/AU. For example, we see SQ as a teenager and the twins as kids (through flashback), but we don't see the twins as teenagers and we don't see SQ as a child. So, after doing a reveal where we the audience discover SQ is a clone of the twin's DNA, the show could show flashbacks of the twins as teenagers using the actor who plays SQ (Ricardo Ortiz) as the actor for both Nathaniel/Curtain and Nicholas. They could also show flashbacks of child SQ using the actor who plays the twins when they are children (Luke Roessler), or an actor who resembles him (since child actors do age and they might need to recast depending on the season they wanted to do the flashbacks). This could be a really fun opportunity not only to show the versatility of some of the young actors in the cast, but also to establish more connections between Nicholas/Nathaniel/SQ and convey the message that even though SQ is like the twins in a lot of ways, he is also his own person, who isn't an exact copy of either one of them.

However, I ultimately decided to drop this theory and ended up never posting about it because it seems very unlikely.

Despite the previous evidence I presented, I don't believe there is enough to support it. First of all, SQ is older than Kate, and Kate was three when Milligan was brain swept, which means that if Milligan ethically objected to Curtain cloning himself SQ and raising him to be a copy of himself or Nicholas, Milligan wouldn't have found out about this until SQ was older. Which is technically possible, but seems less likely (and also how would Milligan have randomly found out that his boss's elementary school aged kid is a clone?) Furthermore, they mention Milligan being an chemist, Garrison being an engineer, and SQ's birth dad being a neuroscientist, but there is no mention of Curtain or anyone in his employ working in biology or genetics specifically, which casts doubt on the cloning theory. We don't see anything in Garrison's lab that would suggest that or that she or Curtain have done any research involving cloning or genetics in the past. Also, if SQ was a clone of the twins, he would likely have narcolepsy, and yet this is never suggested or even hinted at in season 1 (I suppose it's technically possible they were saving that for season 2 but just couldn't get the actor back, but we have no way of knowing).

Anyway, sorry for ranting. I hope you like the book rant as well as this crazy unhinged AU!

[insanepoll]

[ID: white slide with a picture of goro akechi with a transparent background taking up almost all of the page. behind him, there is a submission that can’t be completely seen bc of the picture of goro, but reads:

hes literally so insane and so so stupid omg, like this guy has dedicated so much of his life to getting revenge on his dad, and his whole plan was to fucking work for him and help him achieve his goal of being prime minister and then tell him "oh yeah btw im your illegitimate son that you abandoned how does it feel to know that you only got here bc of me loser" like dude????? thats a shit plan what are you on????? and like he was so focused in on this stupid ass plan that when his dad started ordering him to kill people for political reasons he was just like "welp no turning back now" like dude??????? (to be fair his dad wouldve probs killed him he disobeyed but uhhhh yeah my point still stands this teenager is not mentally stable AT ALL)

he hides behind masks like CONSTANTLY too like obvi he pretends to be a good little lackey for his dad, but like he's also a celebrity (he's a highschool detective, girls think he's hot i guess)(and i guess he is actually kinda smart cuz hes a good detective but like my point still stands that hes so fucking stupid at the same time like. my god.) he like puts on this whole goody-two-shoes shtick that the media and all his fangirls are SO in love with but like hes not like that at all hes so fucking unhinged deep down like holy shit

when you get confront him in the second to last palace he tries to fucking kill akira(the main character) and his friends but like its mostly abt akira specifically??? and like dude calm the fuck down WHY are you so bloodthirsty man, i know you wanna kill akira and rip him apart, i know you despise him because you're jealous of him, i knowwwwww dude god and when you get him as a party member in the secret third semester section of the game he is just so fucking unhinged

in the battle segments just goes on and on about how the shadows are weaklings and hes gonna have so much fun ripping them to shreds hes so bloodthirst and unhinged you dont understand

OH OH AND HES GAY AS HELL DID I MENTION THAT his whole relationship with the mc is so homoerotic my god dude and the only thing stopping them from getting together is the sheer force of goro's emotional contipation ohhhhhh my god dude your just jealous of him!!!! thats not what hatred is dude!!! you fully enjoy akira's company and cherish his companionship! you showed him your favorite place to go, somewhere youve never shown to anyone! you went to a cafe together! you shared your tragic backstory with him while you two BATHED TOGETHER ALONE! you couldve killed him or arrested him for being a phantom thief a long time ago but you kept hanging out with him!!!!!! he kept your glove! he almost surrendered to a fabricated reality just so you could live!!!!! the only reason he didnt is because he knew you wouldnt want to live under someone else's control!!!!!

sorry this became a shuake rant at the end in conclusion, he may be every good at hiding it but he is in fact incredibly unhinged anyway if you wanna see him being unhinged in action here's some videos for you viewing pleasure: (the cutscenes are the important parts, timestamps are 0:00, 8:43, 10:50, 21:30(ok this cutscene doesnt show him being unhinged but it is important to me that you see it)) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5tVAekUc-lg (most of the quotes after 7:02 are unhinged but feel free to listen to the whole thing if you wanna see the difference between the real him and the good boy facade) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IygJD2Et74E&t=4s

/End ID.]

[gnzma]

29, 30, 31

munday time ; ACCEPTING

[ okay im gonna leave 29 as the last reply bc im gonna be long one ]

30. what are your favorite RP tropes to play? (angst, hurt-comfort, etc…) ;; also asked by @murmursdraconic

[ i Love fighting threads!!!!!!!!!!

fights in which two muses are training together? hell yeah. fights where two muses are fighting it out but they're having so much fun making the other bleed? let's go!! maybe they also need to let out some frustration and that's the only way they know?? yipeee!!!! fights where both muses are really fucking angry and aggressive and go from two guys throwing hands to turn into beasts?? YESSSSS fights where one muse wants to kill the other but the other wants to make them See The Light and make them understand but the thing goes from playing defense to being as aggressive??? YAHOOOFDSANMNGMDFH!!!!

fights fun fights good ]

31. do you regularly play crack?

[ i wouldnt say i play it regularly, but rather. sometimes i wanna be silly, sometimes i wanna be fun. it's mostly quick back-and-forths and sillies and it's Fine uwu ]

29. what are your honest thought about your muse’s canon? // also asked by @rocketborn

[ are you ready for gio to rant about pokèmon writing :3 ]

for SuMo, which is also the canon i follow the most... I'm generally pretty okay with how they dealt with him. Like I always write him thinking mostly about that version, of course adding a little more of "adult content" (as in, him bleeding and dying and being Fucking Depressed in ultraspace mostly), but that's the version i fell in love with. I am and I will always be vocal about how rushed the final part of gen 7 was and how i'm DISGUSTED!!!!!!with the idea that a good ending implies team skull being disbanded (thus making it an ending where he didn't really learn to not run away from responsabilities :^)) but for the most part it's great and i love him.

USUM can choke fr fr ♥ I like the interaction he has with Hau in the Garden, but that's about it that was the beginning of Lusamine being woobified because This Woman Can't Be Evil I Fucking Guess (and while i have 0 idea of how hes handled in Masters i did see their interactions with mutual respect and i want to blow myself up), and by extention their relationship being instead written in a more healthy way that. i genuinely can't fucking see. like fuck off USUM all my homies hate USUM they did great with Necrozma they did okay with Rainbow Rocket i wish Guzma's personality wasn't Lusamine Guard Dog Except Without The Nuance Bc We're Afraid Of Evil Women Haha like cmon man!!!!!!!!!!!!

i have. so many mixed feelings about PokeSpe. i'm going to say it right away i think it's mid the battles are great everything else but mostly how female characters are written is okay at best terrible at worse. from the little i saw they really decided to keep his undying loyalty to Lusamine and i hate it here but i enjoy how they managed to write him slightly more unhinged.

the anime did him justice actually. I still think he wouldn't touch the League, ever, and he wouldn't get mad at Golisopod for an ability he should know he has (miss me with that "he's just pretending he doesn't know :)" the anime makes it very clear), but i like his competitivity and his arrogance and how they handled his finale a lot. with the years i made peace with aniGuzma and i think he's very neat despite my problems with the anime (coughlusaminecough). i'm not particularly annoyed with how they confirmed he decided to start a war on alola bc he couldnt be a trial captain either, with how the anime is written i can see that as a good reason actually idk i like how they managed to make him feel like a proper threat and a good "final antagonist". good shit

so basically the tier list is

SuMo except the ending 2. the anime idk 6. pokespe and at the 99th place usum

[zalerazz]

Hope you don't mind me asking this back to you; top 5 sekai commissions

hihihi sorry I took a hot minute to respond! I had to think on this for a while. I'm also going to do my top 10!

10. Niccori Survey Theme - Wonderlands x Showtime

Yeah. It's SUCH a catchy song. It makes me happy! It makes me bounce in my seat! I get it stuck in my head all the time which is hardly a bad thing.

9. 1 - Leo/Need

I'm usually not a huge Leo/Need fan, but 1 is probably my favorite song from the group! Everyone's vocals here are just beautiful, especially Shiho (but she always slays so are we really surprised?) And the melody is really addicting. Luka also sounds amazing with Leo/Need! My one gripe with this song is Ichika having so many solos despite it supposedly being a Shiho center song, but it's Leo/Need. What are you gonna do.

8. Kuyamu to Kaite Mirai - Nightcord at 25:00

This song has a special place in my heart. N25 was the first unit that I finished the main story for, so it this was the first time I heard a song that SEKAI manifested, and it was such a cool moment. It's a beautiful song that I can relate to a lot.

7. Moonlight - Vivid Bad Squad

I remember waiting sooo long to finally get a Meiko VBS song and it did not disappoint!! It's a bop all the way through. Meiko sounds so great in this; I especially love the use of her higher register in the chorus. Also it's an Akito center and I love the little orange guy.

6. Tenshi no Clover - More More Jump!

This song goes so hard for some reason, and I love it. I love the melody in this song so much and I'm always a slut for electric guitar. Rin also sounds really good with MMJ. Idk I don't have much to say about this, too busy headbanging to come up with coherent thoughts.

5. IDSMILE - Nightcord at 25:00

So much to love in this song, where do I even start... The instrumentals kinda give me retro game vibes somehow, even though there's very limited 8-bit instrumentals. OH it reminds me of those flash dress-up games from like 2008!! So many sparkly sounds. Everyone sounds so wonderful in this song too! Meiko doesn't get much spotlight, but she absolutely kills it regardless. Maybe they didn't give her as many lines because they had to nerf her somehow. Also another #relatable #moment with the lyrics

4. Kanadatomosusora - Nightcord at 25:00

This song is SOOO GORGEOUS oh my goddd..... Luka was the perfect choice for this song. Once again everyone's vocals are absolutely stellar. I have to give a shoutout to Ena's VA for ABSOLUTELY SLAYING bc she sounds so gooood I can't get over it. Kanade and Mafuyu also have so much emotion in their voices. I want to inject this song directly into my veins

3. Cinema - Vivid Bad Squad

Oh boy another Akito center is anybody surprised!! I love. every. aspect. of this song it's unreal. The instrumental is so much fun to listen to! The running paino notes are so bouncy and fun. Everyone's vocals are amazing in this song, especially An and Kohane for hitting those high notes!! I relate to the lyrics perhaps a concerning amount, but I did love reading the lyrics bc it was like oh! The song gets it! My only complaint is Kaito... He just doesn't sound fantastic in this song, which is fine! But if it were up to me. I would have used a different vocaloid fhdkgkg

2. Ice Drop - More More Jump!

I don't know what aqu3ra put in this song but it has to be crack. This song it so catchy and addicting! Len works surprisingly well with MMJ. Also, Haruka Kiritani. My queen. She sounds so beautiful, as always. The key change snatches my wig every time.

1. Rad Dogs - Vivid Bad Squad

This song is like drugs to me. I don't know what genre this is, but I need more of it. The classical elements mixed with hip hop?? Top tier. Every second of this song makes me feral. THE VOCALS. I want this song played at my funeral. I don't know what half the instruments used are called and that is the only thing stopping me from going on an unhinged rant about how good it is.

[yearning-and-arson]

ur opinions r so real & so is your music taste . since i dont know what else to say obligatory blorbo infodump section here -an orange (real) :D

Omg thanks!! I have a hard time articulating words about my blorbos so I will some blorbo bingos but with characters of my choosing :) I’ll do Steve Harrington (the blorbo ever) and another Nancy Wheeler because I love her so so much, and then my two favorite Riverdale characters because they’ve been on my mind 24/7 and I gotta rant about them, this post is rather long :D

Steve Harrington (THE blorbo):

He’s just simply the guy ever, silly dude with the most gender, he’s my babygirl, girlfriend material, they get all the bitches, she should be allowed to wear a skirt, need I say more? (Sadly no bingo for Steve)

Nancy Wheeler (I love her I love her I love her I love her I lo-):

Got a bingo for Nance! *pats her head* this girl can hold so much angst, she has the brain cell, she should be allowed to go insane, someone (Robin) save her from that awful love triangle, she deserves the world, i want to put her in a blender and watch her bounce around in there, I simply don’t understand how people hate her, like I respect their opinions but they’re just wrong

Now onto my Riverdale blorbos, this show is insanely unhinged but I simply can’t get enough, and for the love of god I wish they would stop traumatizing my beloveds (also I’m going to school in Jughead cosplay today because he’s simply so gender even though I do not care for him as a character)

Archie Andrews (my son):

He is but a boy, he’s a golden retriever, he’s an absolute idiot, like so incredibly stupid and unhealthily selfless (Archie son listen to me Hiram murdering all those people IS NOT YOUR FAULT), he needs sooooo much therapy, he needs to stop finding every excuse to take his shirt off (sir your father was just shot please put your tits away), i wish his relationship with Veronica was more than just them having a short conversation then fucking (it’s seriously so annoying I have to skip through so many sex scenes, they could be so cute but they don’t do anything except for that and it pisses me off), I love him <3, He simply doesn’t know how to human, he’s trying his best, I want to hug him so fucking badly, got a bingo for my boy

Betty Cooper (the love of my life):

GET THIS GIRL SOME FUCKING THERAPY!!! REAL THERAPY NOT JUST REFILLING HER ADDERAL! This bitch is so fucked up it’s not even funny, her dad’s a serial killer, she got sent to a corrupt nunnery and drugged, all of her tuition money was given to the cult her fucking mom’s in, she is held to wayyyy too high of expectations and definitely has body issues, internalized homophobia and heteronormativity has this girl in such a tight grip (she’s lesbian and asexual), like the whole first episode of the show is her forcing herself to be in love with Archie and then she has her sexual awakening via Veronica Lodge (don’t even get me started on how gay those two are for each other), I really wish her and Jughead were just besties because I simply do not like them romantically (they are mlm/wlw solidarity and in a qpr), she is on my mind always, I really just want to hug her like she is so fucked up, I am so incredibly gay for her like I would not mind if she held a stake to my throat and threatened to murder me, her in the midnights club episode of season three is like one of the hottest things I’ve ever seen she is just so pretty

Alright that’s the end of my rant, I’m sure there’s some more thoughts up in my brain, but this is it for now! I noticed that my blorbos from both these shows are a bisexual himbo and a badass traumatized asexual lesbian who date at some point in the show but I don’t like them together. Interesting.

[dinogoofy]

Erron black/F! Reader

Old friend.

This one took a little bit, sorry if it's not quite as quality as my other fics!

MAJOR TW for Guns, threats, and Kano being a dick to precious puppies.

You and Erron black had grown up together. Two kids brought closer by horrible lives. Sharing the scraps of food you had with each other. Ranting about awful parents, ranting about school. In your teenage years, you were the one to patch him up after fights. He was the one to beat the shit out of your bullies. The two of you hated that town and everyone in it. You used to think the two of you would stay as thick as thieves forever. Your paths only split when you wanted to live a normal life. Live the peaceful, country way you had seen so many others do, but never grew up with yourself. Erron, however, only wanted money, glory. He wanted to take the back roads and do all the things normal folks wouldn't dare to get his fill. 

You didn't understand his choice to be a mercenary, but it wasn't your choice to make for him. Whatever life he wanted to have was good enough for you as long as he made it out of that shitty town. He didn't contact you much. He only really showed up on your doorstep when he was dying and needed someone to patch him up. But at least he was coming to see you, right? 

With a sigh you stepped into your little country home, smiling slightly at the immediate sounds of your fur babies running to meet you. A blur of orange fur rushing to thread between your legs and trip you, while your sweet pound mutt waited patiently for you to set your keys on the key rack. 

"Hey boys." Chester meowed at you rather loudly, only to take off when you leaned down to pet him. The crazy feline darting under Archie's body as he happily waited for his own pets. It was easy to smile at the warm welcome, immediately a little more relaxed after finally getting home. You stretched at the door, setting your bag down to head into the kitchen.

The first thing you settled on was giving your boys their long-awaited scoops of food, both of them sat down neatly next to each other. Only Archie waited for your go-ahead, Chester already digging in by the time you gave him a laughing "Ok, Archie." 

You patted your mutt before taking some leftovers out, eyes catching on the printed photo of you and Erron from senior year. It's been a few months since last he came to visit. The thought made you a little sad. But the memory of the photo gave you a nostalgic, happy feeling. With an arm slung around his shoulders, and a goofy look on your face, Erron was the complete opposite of you. The goof pretended to be annoyed at your antics, but you could see the slight smile at the corner of his lips.

"Come on! Just one photo. It's not like it's going to kill you, Erron."

"It's not going to kill me, no. But I might end up killing you."

"Pfft- yeah right."

Your smile grew a bit wider. You sat down at the table alone as you finished your dinner. Erron had always been a strange one. Always tough, trying to be unfeeling. Not wanting anyone to be close. Not wanting any affection besides the one-night stands and the women he infatuated. Always the one to flirt, but never with you.

No. Not ever with you. You smirked. He always acted differently around you. More nervous, more fidgety. You'd been in love with him since before you even knew what love truly was. And you had known for years that he loved you back. You had just been waiting for him to admit it. You'd scoffed at yourself time and time again for not making the first move, but Erron wasn't ready for that. You didn't think he was, at least. You just wished he had gotten therapy like you had asked him to.

The scraping of your fork against your plate was your only indication that you had finished eating, you definitely spaced out a bit. You always did when you thought of Erron. Maybe he would visit soon. Maybe you should stop thinking that to make yourself feel better. 

The plate clicked lightly against the floor when you set it down for Archie to lick before you set it in the sink. By the time you turned off all the lights and headed to bed Chester was already asleep on your pillow, Archie curled up in his own bed next to the nightstand. You moved the orange tabby slightly to the side so you could lay down, and he yelled in protest the way that annoyed kitties do. It was easy to slip into a comfortable sleep with your boys next to you. 

The sound of your sweet Archie growling a feral warning was what woke you up that night. You shot out of bed, ripping off the covers and grabbing the shotgun from under your mattress. Archie never growls. An unhinged bark sent a jolt of panic through you, along with Chester, who woke up to sprint under your bed and hide. Archie certainly never barked. Not like that. Not in that way. Something was wrong. You clicked off the safety and cocked the shotgun.

You moved slowly at first, creeping your way over to the sound of Archie's growls, but when he let out a sharp whine, your vision went white-hot with rage. 

"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY DOG!" You shouted, finally turning the corner and into the living room where two figures lurked. The lamp was still on, and as your eyes adjusted you could make out the masked face of Erron, and the form of some asshole looming over Archie with your baby backed into a wall. 

Erron didn't respond at all at the sight of you. The unknown figure by your dog stood up slowly and whistled.

"You did say she was a feisty one." You scowled, keeping the gun pointed squarely on the man.

"Erron. I don't know why you're fucking here, but please tell me you don't know this asshole so I can just shoot him." Erron rolled his eyes at you. The figure laughed, moving away from Archie, who sprinted over to you so that he could cower behind your legs. Your eyes were trained on the figure as he proceeded to sit in your own fucking armchair.

"Name's Kano. Leader of the black dragon." The black dragon. The group of mercenaries that Erron had joined. Why the fuck did Erron bring this guy into your home. Erron called your name.

"Set the gun down, sugar." You didn't take your eyes off of Kano. 

"Respectfully, Erron, I don't think I will." Kano laughed, but you didn't think anything was funny. Erron called your name again, strutting over to you carelessly. Archie growled as he got closer. He set a hand on the gun, pushing it down.

"Calm. Down." You huffed but gave in. Sending your friend a nasty look as you lowered your defense. Erron wouldn't willingly let you be in danger. There's no way he would. You had to remember that.

"We came here for some help. 'Know that cave at the edge of your property?" The cave? You found it when you had just moved in, part of an old interlocking set of mining tunnels carved out of the land in the early 1900s. When you checked it out at first, it was Erron who actually went with you. You had a fond memory of fucking around in the tunnel, only to find an old elevator next to a dead-end tunnel with bloody handprints and markings that trailed across the wall and into the elevator. That was enough to get the two out of there. What would they want with it?

"What about it?"

"Those runes we found in it match what a client is looking for. We just want to check it out, and get outa' you're way." You laughed, glancing between Kano, who was currently putting a cigarette out on your favorite chair- and Erron, who still stood next to you in an almost defensive manner.

"Am I supposed to believe that there's no catch to this? No killer secrets? No blackmail?" Kano snickered, standing from his chair and walking over to you. You stood strong, but the beating of your heart sped up. You hated feeling afraid.

"The catch is, you show us the cave, and we leave your little buddy here alive." You scowled, and Erron sighed deeply at his boss, knowing already that he had started something.

"First of all, you don't get shit if you threaten my dog, asshole. You piece of human sh-"

"Just think of it as a favor between friends." Erron interrupted. You frowned at his words. His paycheck was definitely depending on it. Your thoughts split In two different ways. One, the fact that he's using your friendship to manipulate you into doing him a favor, two… it felt relieving that he still thought of you as friends. 

You finally gave in, sighing and relaxing almost completely. Archie nuzzles your leg before running off. You turned your head just slightly to watch him out of confusion when a sudden yank catches your attention. Kano had snatched your shotgun straight out of your hands. Erron stiffened next to you.

"I'll take that!" 

"You-!" Erron held out back just as you went to lunge at Kano. You struggled against him for just a moment before he gave you a bit of a push to set you back. What had gotten into him?!

"Ah ah ah! Sorry, Sheila, there's no way we're gonna let you keep this on you. Erron?" Kano taunted. You went to yell in protest but only yelped, Erron's hands suddenly holding onto your arm.

"Just comply. It'll be over soon." Erron whispered. You grumbled in protest but didn't fight it as they took you from your warm house. 

Kano walked proudly ahead of you and Erron while navigating to the cave. Fucker didn't even know where he was going. You had been scowling the whole time, a surprising feat while Erron was around. Speaking of which, His hand on your arm had softened its hold, but the strangest thing was that he still wouldn't look at you.

"This is your idea of a visit?" You mumbled to him. He shook his head, his heavy steps landing on a twig he forcefully snapped as you walked. He was definitely in a mood.

"This' a business trip, hun. Wouldn't be here if it weren't for that." You snickered.

"Yeah right. You'd end up here eventually." You said the words but didn't quite believe them as you walked. "Don't think you could stay away if you tried."

"-And I tried." You ignored the painful sting in your chest, going silent before shouting another set of directions to Erron's dipshit boss. You could almost feel Erron's gaze change as his eyes remained on you.

"-look, I didn't want you to get caught up in all this. It's bad enough that I'm here now." The words made you frown slightly. You elbowed Erron in the side, trying to make a little light of the situation.

"Better than Kano coming out here by himself." Erron laughed. 

" 'Betcha you'd've killed him the moment he stepped into your house."

"I almost did." You couldn't see Erron's smile through his mask, but the happy look in his eyes was infectious. You couldn't help but blush a bit, walking closer to him. His hold on your arm was loose and comfortable at this point, and you couldn't make yourself break out of it.

"You lovebirds done shit-talking or what?" God, you hated this Kano guy. The rest of the walk was silent. After about 30 minutes of almost tripping on fallen limbs, you finally made it to the cave. 

"Quite a big place for such a little property, huh?" You didn’t respond to Kano. Ignoring him as Erron guided you to walk past him.

"Oh don't be coy. Where'd all that fire go?" Kano was taunting you again, but both you and Erron ignored him this time. Erron spoke over him when he tried to speak a third time.

"Which way d'you go from here?" You laughed.

"You think I know? I try to stay away from this place as much as I can. Haven't been here since you were with me." Erron furrowed his eyebrows, taking a moment to click a flashlight on. He looked around for a moment, before setting out in a direction. Kano followed behind, a little too close to your back for your liking. 

Shivers ran rampant across your skin when you finally found the elevator. Kano pushed past you forcefully, knocking you off balance. Erron caught you with a steady hand around your waist. You relaxed in his touch, and once again pushed forward.

"Ahh! Look at that beauty!" Kano took out a camera, and you flinched at the flash. 

"I'm sure the client won't mind if we keep a few copies of the pictures to ourselves, now would he?" Kano laughed. Being around Erron was nice, but you were losing your patience. It was late, you had work in the morning, and you were just plain tired of this black dragon bullshit. You didn't notice when Erron's arm fell away from yours.

"Look, I showed you the cave. Just give me my gun, and let me go back to bed." Kano snickered at your words, Erron loomed behind you. 

"I don't think you'll be going far." Kano spat on the ground after he spoke, you scowled. 

"Excuse me?" Kano's smile was gritty and disgusting. He whistled at Erron, walking past you with your shotgun held loosely in his grip. You contemplated snatching it, but when you whipped around-

It almost felt like you couldn't breathe. You were staring down the barrel of Erron's pistol for a long moment. 

"Look kid, we can't have someone like you knowing about this cave thing, it's too risky and all that blabber, you understand. You've been such a delightful host and all, but it's time for you to go." Kano laughed.

"Can't tell any divine dipshits about our little meeting if she's dead anyway, now can she Erron?" Erron had never been so out of focus before, his stomach wringing in knots. He hardly knew what to think as he pointed the gun at you, something he'd never thought he'd ever do.

"Hey?" A little voice called out. A little face leaning down to peer at the little boy with his head buried unto his knees. He hardly glanced up. 

"Hi." He had murmured so quietly.

"Do you want to share this sandwich with me? You look lonely."

"Erron?" Your voice quivered. Panic was written all over your face. His finger lingered on the trigger as his chest squeezed.

"Sit still, dumbass." You squeezed his bloodied arm.

"That shit burns!" He hissed out. You laughed at him, dabbing at the large cut he had gotten from some idiot with broken glass on the school grounds.

"Well duh. It's isopropyl alcohol. It's gonna burn like hell." He was cute when he was confused. You laughed. 

"It disinfects the wound, Erron."

"... I knew that. I'm not fucking stupid." He had grumbled.

"Nothin' personal." He finally spoke. The words hurt him as they came out.

"That's not how you use a rifle." Throwing popcorn, at Erron, you quickly stole the remote to turn the volume up.

"Shh! Just shut up and enjoy the movie. Westerns aren't exactly supposed to be realistic."

"Well I can't really enjoy an unrealistic western, can I?- he's holding that wrong-"

Your face started to shift from panic to anger as kano patted Erron's shoulder, walking back into the rickety elevator.

"Panicked now, aren't ya Sheila? Want to beg? Or are you the proud sort?" You snarled at him.

"No." You said stiffly. "No. I want to see you do it, Erron." Kano laughed from the elevator. Erron remained stiff, his smooth voice taking a moment to come out.

"Look, you don't know-"

"I said do it, Erron!" You snapped, stepping closer to the cowboy. He didn't step back, his hand didn't waver. You stepped close enough to him that the barrel of his pistol pressed to your forehead. 

"Go ahead! Be Kano's little lapdog. Shoot me." You spat, the adrenaline working its way into your system. "Shoot me and say goodbye to all the FUCKING years I took care of your ass and bury me in that shitty town we grew up in Erron!" Erron's stone-faced seriousness finally broke, and even though he was wearing a mask you could still see the rage in his eyes as he grabbed you by the collar of your shirt and forcefully yanked you closer to him. He kept the gun pressed to the side of your head.

"Do you have any idea who you're provoking? You. don't. know me. anymore. Sugar. You don't have any idea what I'm capable of!" You let out a curt laugh.

"You and I both know I still do." You snarled. Both of you went silent, the tension crackling between the two of you. You could see the panic that hid under the steely overlaying emotion in his eyes. Only Kano's ongoing childish taunts remained.

"Well then, Erron? Get on with it!" Erron's stiff posture remained, he spoke to Kano, but his eyes remained on yours. 

"Fuck off Kano." Kano didn't take that well.

"Excuse me? I'm your boss, dipshit. You can't just-" All of a sudden, Erron pushes you back, reels around, and shoots through the spaces in the old metal elevator, the bullet hits the back of the wall, and ricochets through the old, decaying pulley rope that held it up. Kano looks up in horror and rage. His screaming and cursing faded as the elevator launched down and crashed to the very bottom of the mine.

All is silent. All that can be heard is your labored breathing from all the shouting and adrenaline.

"Still want me to shoot you?" Erron asks. Speaking smug words with a tone only you could recognize as him trying to hide his panic. You scowled again. Walking over to him with tears stinging at the corner of your eyes.

"You're such a fucking asshole!" You shouted, punching him in the shoulder. Erron didn't flinch.

"And?" You couldn't stop the tears now. All the pain, and heartbreak, and sadness rushing out at once. You weekly hit his shoulder one more time, and grappled him into a hug, burying your face into his chest without being able to stop your sobs. Erron stood stiff. After a moment, his arms slid around your waist, and he held you back tightly.

"Kano's gonna kill you for that." You laughed through the tears. Erron didn't respond. His hand left your side for only a moment, and when it held onto again he had taken off his mask, letting it drop to the floor. Erron buried his face into your hair, holding you a bit tighter than before. 

It was quiet again. Erron squirmed after a moment.

"...I wouldn't have buried you in that town." You snorted, not taking your face out of his chest, biting your nails into the fabric of his shirt just a bit.

"So you admit you would've shot me?" Erron didn't react to the words. He only sighed into your hair, lifting a hand to pinch your ear. You pulled yourself out of his chest with a laugh, and his hands settled on your waist. You wiped your tears, your nose, and tried to make yourself a little better. It didn't really work. Erron could see that. He lifted a calloused hand to your cheek anyway.

"Just because you've come to your fucking senses doesn't mean I'm not still mad." You sniffled, smiling still as the bitter words fell out of your mouth.

"Yeah, well you should be. Kano was being an asshole anyway. That's the only reason I let you go." Erron coughed, you raised an eyebrow at him, clearly not buying it. He rolled his eyes, huffing through his nose.

"... Maybe not the only reason." The smile returned to your face, and you rolled your eyes at him this time. At this point, it was almost like he didn't realize it himself.

"God, you're really not fooling anyone, dumbass." Erron scowled, about to retort when you decided, Fuck it. And clutched his face to pull him into a kiss. He didn't respond at first, stiff and uneasy.  Always so stubborn. After a second or two though, he melted into your lips, pulling you closer. It was hard to hold on to all your anger when he was just so kissable. He'd get his ass beaten for this little stunt. You would make sure of that, but right now all you wanted to focus on was the relieving kiss you had waited so long for.

[the-infamous-coat-of-baron-zemo]

Missed Opportunities - Helmut Zemo x Reader | Chapter 2

Here it is! I'm managed to whip up another part to this story. I hope you all enjoy this next bit!

If you missed out on Part 1, it's here.

Word Count: 2300 and some change

-----

Side Note: Obviously, I have taken some liberties with the plot and timeline of TFATWS. So this will be loosely based on the timings of what has happened, but will not be a chronological order of events occurred.

Much love to you, and thank you for the inspiration! And yes, there will be a Part 3 because this was more of a set-up chapter. So hopefully you won't be too disappointed with this one.

~Sandra~

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

As things turned out, your conversation with Bucky and Sam went surprisingly well. Once you were finally able to say your own piece and explain the entire story, a lightbulb seemed to have gone off within both of them.

Sam, of course, was the most understanding, realizing that the reaction Zemo had was surely due to the intense trauma of what happened. He went on to explain; he had seen those types of emotional outbursts between complete strangers who had similar experiences when The Blip happened. They would come into support groups to tell their own stories, once upon a time when the world began trying to make sense of what happened.

He said it was normal. And Sam was right, he's always right. It was a perfectly logical explanation, and those are the things you look for and stood by.

Except, this.

Nothing about Zemo's reaction felt normal. The connection upon seeing him again twisted up your insides and set your nerve endings on fire. None of your previous interactions ever gave you pause like this. No, this was different. Seeing the raw emotion on his face. The intensity of how closely he wrapped you into his body, as if he were trying to consume your entire being. You were held so closely to him, you could felt the beat of his heart, hear the raggedness of his breath, and sense the tremors beneath his fingertips.

Clearly what happened had changed you both. It would be hard not to given the enormity of the event. Again, you tried to think back to your time visiting him over the past couple of years in prison. Was there always a connection between you? Simmering beneath the surface? And The Blip was simply the catalyst to uncovering something hidden? You scoffed. Now you were just entertaining nonsense. Yes, it was emotional, but this was Zemo we're talking about. There's always a reasoning behind his actions, and they're usually executed in ways that only benefit him.

And just like that, logic and sanity had finally returned to you, like a cold bucket of ice water dowsing you over the head.

You remember looking to Bucky after Sam had finished his explanation and acceptance of everything that had transpired. You had sagged in relief noticing he had taken the information in stride and was no long on the defensive. However, in the following days after, you would always catch him now and again eyeing Zemo with some sort of suspicion. You figured with how manipulative the slightly unhinged genius could be, James was simply keeping a watchful eye on him. And why should he? We all should. Zemo was not to be trusted, and yet - deep down, you felt as if you were lying to yourself. That when push came to shove, you could trust him.

And that scared you.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

All of you were gathered around the kitchen island discussing tactics on where to locate Karli. Bucky had pitched we should be looking in isolated and abandoned areas, but Sam had different feelings on the subject. He felt they should be looking in more highly populated areas, as he believed they would want to try and blend in with the community like normal citizens.

So of course they start bickering, again.

You wanted to roll your eyes at them in utter exasperation, but held back. Instead you settle for a face palm as you continue to map out possible routes Karli and the Flag-Smasher may travel to stay accessible, but not completely visible to the public eye.

As you were zooming into a particular area that looked promising, you felt the brush of someone's hand against yours to the right of where you were sitting.

It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out who it was. Sam and Bucky were still debating who's idea would bring around to most promising results in the short amount of time we had before Karli decided to strike again.

You peered up at Zemo thinking he was hovering to catch a glimpse of what you were working on, but instead you were surprised to see he had simply poured you a cup of tea and set it next to you.

The brush of the hand was deliberate though. This you knew for a fact. Over the past few days since your little reunion, you noticed Zemo had been silently giving you brief bouts of physical contact. Nothing overtly sexual in nature. In fact, they were quite light and fleeting. Sometimes, it was a brush of his hand against yours, a soft touch at your lower back or the slide of his fingers against a hip as he walked past you.

You weren't quite sure what to make of the actions. They certainly didn't disrupt you, but your body always took immediate notice when he did it.

The chair you were sitting in had swiveled when you went to look at Zemo. You had planned on quietly thanking him, but he had already moved to the opposite side of the island to observe the land markings Sam had drawn up on a paper map.

You gently picked up the tea cup and brought it to your lips. The warmth of the tea emanating from the cup was a balm for your hands. Before taking a sip, you closed your eyes and inhaled the scent of the tea. Ah. Cherry blossom. Apparently, a favorite of his according to James.

When you opened your eyes, Zemo was now watching you. You tilted your head to the side and smiled graciously at him, mouthing a 'Thank you' in reply to his kind gesture.

The corner of his lip twitched up in response to your thanks, nodding back at you. He held his gaze as you took a sip of the tea.

Your eyebrows shot up as you swallowed the tea. It was quite delicious. You pointed to the cup and nodded your head up and down in quick succession to show your appreciation.

You could tell Zemo was holding in a chuckle, but refrained from expressing himself fully. You had narrowed your eyes, and thought about calling him out on it, but ultimately decided against it. Instead you motion your head to Sam and Bucky acknowledging their ridiculousness. Zemo just dismissed them with a, 'What did you expect?' type of look.

Finally you had enough of the two knuckle-heads on the other side of the kitchen and decided to intervene on their behalf otherwise they would never accomplish anything today.

"You guys planning on coming to a conclusion any time soon, or should I start selling tickets to this show?"

James stopped his rant and turned to you, "He started it," pointing his finger at Sam. "Sam just doesn't want to admit that my prospective places have added value that his don't."

"Now wait, that's not entirely true Bucky. I just think -," Sam started in again, but you had cut him off before he could finish.

"For the love of - how old are you two? It amazes me Steve got as much done as he did with you two around," you shook your head in feigned disbelief.

You might have felt bad about your slight outburst, but it was absolutely worth it to witness the sheepish expressions on both Sam and Bucky's faces. You wished you had snapped a picture. Definitely would have made it your new lock screen on your phone.

"If it's okay, I'd actually like to offer a third option," you said, motioning them over with a flourish wave of your hands.

As Sam and Bucky moved over to you, you shifted your eyeline to Zemo, "You too Zemo. Let's get your opinion on this as well since you are a resident to the area and more familiar with its surroundings than we are."

Zemo rose from his place and came to rest at your side, hovering, but not in a suffocating manner.

Even though Zemo had kept a reasonable amount of distance between you, Bucky seemed to show some displeasure as you saw him scoot him a bit out of the way as he tried to put some distance between the two of you.

You bit back a comment in favor of going over what you had discovered and turned to Sam, "I know we want to locate Karli as quickly as possible, but there are too many variables to account for when scouting buildings that they could be hiding out in. I propose we search in hidden pathways that could quickly get the Flag-Smashers in and out of different parts of the city without being readily detected."

"Alright, that does make sense, so what are you suggesting?" Sam tilted his head in agreement before gesturing for you to continue.

"Take a look at this map," you swipe your hand up the computer screen to show a holographic image of an underground rail system.

"Those look like the old track lines from a railway project that was never completed. If I remember correctly, the government abandoned the project when they ran out of money. Most of the tunnels were built, but never quite finished," Zemo interjected.

"Exactly," you turned to him beaming.

You moved your hands animatedly as you were excited by this prospect, "These tunnels travel throughout the entire city. Karli and the rest of the Flag-Smashers can easily maneuver where they need to with these routes. If I were to put money on it, I'd bet you could find their insignias left on the walls of the tunnels below as a potential guide that could -"

"That could lead us straight to their hideout," Zemo finished, smiling with what could be described as something akin to pride, clearly impressed with the astute observation you made.

"I see where you're going with this. You know, you might be onto something. Especially with our truncated time table," Sam chimed in. "Bucky? What do you think?"

You turned your chair around so you could face the three of them fully.

"Yeah, I agree. I think there's a legitimate chance we could find some clues at the very least," Bucky replied, leaning in over your left shoulder to get a closer look at the image.

Memorizing it most likely.

"If I may suggest, here?" Zemo said, pointing to a location not far from them.

You saw Sam and Bucky turn to each and nod in agreement of the starting point.

"That's good. It's also close to one of the last places we spotted Karli, so it makes sense to check it out first before branching off somewhere deeper," Sam assented.

You turn back around and start typing on the keyboard. A few moments later a ping erupted from everyone's phone.

"I sent the map to all of us, so we each have a copy," you stated.

You closed the laptop and hopped off the chair you had been sitting in, packing your stuff up into your backpack off to the side.

"Whoa. Whoa. What are you doing?" Bucky said, placing his vibranium arm on your shoulder to pause your movements.

"Getting ready to go?" you questioned slowly, as if your actions weren't obvious.

"You're not coming with us," James stated sternly.

You turned to look at Sam.

"Listen, Bucky's right," Sam answered. You saw him hold his hands up in the air and shrug before placing a hand on your shoulder before continuing, "I know, it's a shocker, having Buck and I agree on something - but when it comes to your safety, we both feel the same."

You chewed on your inner cheek, knowing this was going to most likely be a losing battle. You pursed your lips, closed your eyes slowly, and sighed before lolling your head to the side in defeat.

Sam grinned knowing he won and dropped his hand from your shoulder, as he left the kitchen to go get his gear.

Bucky came up from behind you and gave you a quick hug and kiss on the head.

"Thank you," James murmured before moving to the door.

"You can't fault them for caring," Zemo said, voice carrying softly through the air.

You pivoted around to where Zemo was, watching him adjust his holsters and making a move for his coat.

"I know," you begrudgingly admit.

Zemo put on his coat and walked over to stand in front of you.

"It may not be completely dangerous, but there's always a chance, and it's not one your friends are willing to take with you," Zemo stated.

You drop your head slightly to stare at the floor. He was right. Sam and Bucky just wanted to look out for you, but that doesn't mean you couldn't be helpful down there. You do know some self defense. You spent 10 years around Steve and various Avengers over time, it's not like you weren't going to pick anything up.

"Zemo let's go," Sam said briskly, as he walked past them to meet Bucky at the front door.

You lifted your head up and saw Zemo give a curt nod to Sam before focusing his attention back on you.

Zemo started to walk by you, but paused to lean into, grabbing your wrist to gently rub his thumb over your pulse point and whisper, "And neither am I."

With that, he abruptly walked off to join Sam and James.

Your wrist was tingling with sensation even after Zemo had left your side.

Before they all left, you managed lean over the island to strangle out, "Please play nice with each other and come back in one piece!"

You could hear the huffs of laughter as they left and the door clicked shut behind them.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[shatouto]

hi i was wondering if you had any opinions on how the clone wars tv show butchered anakin's characterization and made him this big macho man and completely erased our soft, sweet, shy boy who just wants to help from the movies

oh boy

i do, anon. i agree with you 100% and i am going to explode in three... two... one...

I AM MAD THEY WENT OUT OF THEIR WAY TO MAKE ANAKIN STRAIGHT UP UGLY.

cw2003 can slightly be excused because they have a very particular stylization and everybody looks nearly equally as cartoony. but even then, there is a clear focus on amplifying the most Typically Manly features on hayden/anakin's face. for example they zoomed in on the divot on his chin yet made his face all square instead of giving a shit about hayden's delicate jawline. (i personally don't think that kind of chin is a man thing! i love it on ladies, you're all beautiful)

tcw2008, on the other hand, has no excuse. their stylization is light and unequal amongst characters. they completely fucking nuked anakin's pretty golden-bronze curls and his long lush lashes both upper AND lower, they BUTCHERED his beautiful delicate face shape. ok curls i can understand, because animation, but THEY DIDN'T EVEN GIVE HIM EYE SPARKLES, and they consistently gave OBI-WAN eye sparkles and lashes so it's not like they didn't know how to do it. they just didn't want to give that to anakin.

tcw anakin also looks so fucking OLD because they insisted on putting SO MANY LINES on his face. again, this would've been acceptable if it's a consistent thing across characters (of the same species), but you don't see this happening to obi-wan or even mace! they made him needlessly animalistic, which is especially egregious because they had hayden christensen's phenomenal performance of an unhinged but still extremely pretty anakin skywalker towards the end of RoTS for reference. somehow, they still fucked up.

oh ALSO, voice. listen, i have nothing against matt lanter, i love the guy, but who the fuck casted him? hayden/anakin's voice is a lovely lilting tenor with a fine timber; matt's voice is straight up a thick baritone. i like a velvety baritone as much as the next person, but that's NOT ANAKIN! WHY THIS??

this is why i go out of my way to study hayden christensen's face and stylize anakin MYSELF, because ALL clone wars character artists (2003 and 2008) are fucking COWARDS. they seem to think just because he has a canon wife that now he has to be The Beacon of Heteronormativity, The Most Heterosexual Hetero who Has Ever Hetero'ed, The Ultimate Manliest Manly Man in the Manly Universe of Men and i am so angry.

this is particularly disheartening because anakin skywalker of the prequel movies is a rather atypical Hero Protagonist. he's sensitive, vulnerable, prone to emotional outbursts, and the things that make him "annoying" are the things that make him sweet and human too. his heartthrob soft boy appearance reflects all of that. tcw anakin is a cookie cutter Boys Favorite hero, appearance-wise (his characterization is a whole different thing, it's actually okay, i won't touch on it here). the idea that some ppl in the creative decision making department though they had to "fix" anakin skywalker to make him "more marketable" just makes me gag, really.

im not even sorry for ranting this time. thank u for coming to my ted talk.

[welllpthisishappening]

Welllp These Are Books: the March 2021 Edition

There aren’t even any pictures! Except in that one book where there were pictures! It was weird! This was a weird book month! Back at it again with thoughts and opinions about a whole mess of books that no one explicitly asked for, but I’ve got lots of thoughts and opinions and they only count if I share them on the internet. Seriously, someone let me go to a baseball game soon. Obligatory warning for spoilers and vaguely unhinged rants under the cut. As always, feel free to come tell me what else I should be reading at literally any time ever.

Best Book of the Month Honors Goes to This Book, Even Though They Called It Halftime at a Hockey Game. A Hockey Game!

The Dating Plan by Sara Desai

Daisy Patel is a software engineer who understands lists and logic better than bosses and boyfriends. With her life all planned out, and no interest in love, the one thing she can't give her family is the marriage they expect. Left with few options, she asks her childhood crush to be her decoy fiancé. Liam Murphy is a venture capitalist with something to prove. When he learns that his inheritance is contingent on being married, he realizes his best friend's little sister has the perfect solution to his problem. A marriage of convenience will get Daisy's matchmaking relatives off her back and fulfill the terms of his late grandfather's will. If only he hadn’t broken her tender teenage heart nine years ago… Sparks fly when Daisy and Liam go on a series of dates to legitimize their fake relationship. Too late, they realize that very little is convenient about their arrangement. History and chemistry aren't about to follow the rules of this engagement.

— Ok, it’s important to know that I really did love this book. It hit all my trope-wants. Childhood friends, incredibly stupid misunderstandings, pining, seriously God the pining, fake engagement, BANTER. It was all going great. I was occasionally swooning. They kept making out! And then! THEN. They went to a hockey game. On a date. A fake date. Cool, cool, cool. All tropes, all the time right? Not so fast, internet! Because these self-proclaimed Sharks SUPER FANS referred to intermission as “halftime was coming up.” Halftime! At a hockey game! That’s—that’s not how hockey works! If this hadn’t been “traditionally” published, I probably could have let it slide. But that was not the case. This was a “real” book with, I can only assume, real editors. All of whom saw the words halftime and hockey near each other and we’re like YEAH, PRINT THAT SHIT. I read that at nearly one in the morning and seriously considered waking Justin up to be like CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS IS IN A REAL BOOK? Anyway, it was still real cute. Everyone lived happily ever after. It made want to eat samosas.

This Book Had Pictures, It Was Weird

Clean Sweep by Ilona Andrews

On the outside, Dina Demille is the epitome of normal. She runs a quaint Victorian Bed and Breakfast in a small Texas town, owns a Shih Tzu named Beast, and is a perfect neighbor, whose biggest problem should be what to serve her guests for breakfast. But Dina is...different:  Her broom is a deadly weapon; her Inn is magic and thinks for itself. Meant to be a lodging for otherworldly visitors, the only permanent guest is a retired Galactic aristocrat who can’t leave the grounds because she’s responsible for the deaths of millions and someone might shoot her on sight. Under the circumstances, "normal" is a bit of a stretch for Dina.

And now, something with wicked claws and deepwater teeth has begun to hunt at night...Feeling responsible for her neighbors, Dina decides to get involved. Before long, she has to juggle dealing with the annoyingly attractive, ex-military, new neighbor, Sean Evans—an alpha-strain werewolf—and the equally arresting cosmic vampire soldier, Arland, while trying to keep her inn and its guests safe. But the enemy she’s facing is unlike anything she’s ever encountered before. It’s smart, vicious, and lethal, and putting herself between this creature and her neighbors might just cost her everything.

— So, Ilona Andrews is a name that keeps coming up because when I borrow a book from the library I have to go through Kindle and Amazon is like...here are some other absurd fantasy romances you’d enjoy. Also, one of her other series had been recc’ed to me. Only problem? The first book in that series is the only book in that series not available at my library. So, I was like, ok, I’ll start this one instead. It was...weird. Honestly, it felt like I’d been dropped in the middle of the story and the narrator was like, well why don’t you already know what’s going on? In theory the world building was cool. (I was not expecting alien werewolves, lemme tell you that!) But also it all felt very rushed and the end just sorta happened.

In Which I Continue to Love “Same Verse” Books & No One Else Had Sex in the Port Jeff High School Dugout. For Which I Was Grateful

Love Her or Lose Her by Tessa Bailey

Rosie and Dominic Vega are the perfect couple: high school sweethearts, best friends, madly in love. Well, they used to be anyway. Now Rosie’s lucky to get a caveman grunt from the ex-soldier every time she walks in the door. Dom is faithful and a great provider, but the man she fell in love with ten years ago is nowhere to be found. When her girlfriends encourage Rosie to demand more out of life and pursue her dream of opening a restaurant, she decides to demand more out of love, too. Three words: marriage boot camp.

Never in a million years did Rosie believe her stoic, too-manly-to-emote husband would actually agree to relationship rehab with a weed-smoking hippie. Dom talking about feelings? Sitting on pillows? Communing with nature? Learning love languages? Nope. But to her surprise, he’s all in, and it forces her to admit her own role in their cracked foundation. As they complete one ridiculous—yet surprisingly helpful—assignment after another, their remodeled relationship gets stronger than ever. Except just as they’re getting back on track, Rosie discovers Dom has a secret... and it could demolish everything.

— Listen, one of my absolutely favorite tropes that I do not think gets enough love in the world is COMMITTED LONG-LASTING RELATIONSHIPS. And, like, ok, sure the premise of this was that they were separating in that long-lasting relationship. But no one really believed that, did they? Rosie and Dominic were real cute and their banter was good and I wasn’t totally skeeved out when they literally fucked on the kitchen floor. So, I think that’s saying something. Also, also! I seriously appreciated the realism of this book because no one on Long Island would ever call Manhattan Manhattan. It’s the city. Every other borough gets a name, but Manhattan is just the city and I nearly cheered when they said that. But also, no one’s taking a cab from Port Jeff to the Meatpacking District. You know what that would cost? God.

Tools of Engagement by Tessa Bailey

Hair, makeup, clothing, decor... everything in Bethany Castle's world is organized, planned, and styled to perfection. Which is why the homes she designs for her family's real estate business are the most coveted in town. The only thing not perfect? Her track record with men. She's on a dating hiatus and after helping her friends achieve their dreams, Bethany finally has time to focus on her own: flip a house, from framework to furnishings, all by herself. Except her older brother runs the company and refuses to take her seriously.

When a television producer gets wind of the Castle sibling rivalry, they’re invited on Flip Off, a competition to see who can do the best renovation. Bethany wants bragging rights, but she needs a crew and the only member of her brother's construction team willing to jump ship is Wes Daniels, the new guy in town. His Texas drawl and handsome face got under Bethany's skin on day one, and the last thing she needs is some cocky young cowboy in her way.

As the race to renovate heats up, Wes and Bethany are forced into close quarters, trading barbs and biting banter as they remodel the ugliest house on the block. It's a labor of love, hate, and everything in between, and soon sparks are flying. But Bethany's perfectly structured life is one kiss away from going up in smoke and she knows falling for a guy like Wes would be a flipping disaster.

— It should first be noted that in the three books of this series, I could not and cannot understand why Bethany’s brother was such a monumental dick. He was just...he was a dick. His marriage was awful. How long was his wife pregnant without him knowing???? I digress. This continued to be cute, Bethany was a legit heroine as far as those rom-com things go, Wes was very Texas and that got a little over the top, but they had sex in a bed like normal people so that helped. Oh, except that one time on the construction site. Whatever, this book was cute. This whole series was cute, really, and I was a big fan of the happy little wrap-everything-up with a bow ending.

Romance That Happens In Point Two Seconds Is...Unbelievable

Too Hot to Handle by Tessa Bailey

The road trip was definitely a bad idea. Having already flambéed her culinary career beyond recognition, Rita Clarkson is now stranded in God-Knows-Where, New Mexico, with a busted-ass car and her three temperamental siblings, who she hasn't seen in years. When rescue shows up---six-feet-plus of hot, charming sex on a motorcycle---Rita's pretty certain she's gone from the frying pan right into the fire . . . Jasper Ellis has a bad boy reputation in this town, and he loathes it. The moment he sees Rita, though, Jasper knows he's about to be sorely tempted. There's something real between them. Something raw. And Jasper has only a few days to show Rita that he isn't just for tonight---he's forever.

— For as much as I loved the Port Jeff series by my new pal Tessa, this one was...oof. Too much, guys. Too much. Fucking in trucks. Fucking in back offices. The whole book lasted, like, three days. And keep in mind this is coming from someone who has written like two million words about Killian Jones, self-loathing champ 250 years running, but Jasper’s self-loathing was a little over the top. Like, let’s not objectify dudes, but also...I don’t know guys. Maybe the other books in the series are better? I was mostly just annoyed by Rita.

What the Hell Happened at the End of This Book?? Seriously, I Have No Idea

The Queen’s Assassin by Melissa de la Cruz

Caledon Holt is the kingdom's deadliest weapon. No one alive can best him in speed, strength, or brains, which is why he's the Hearthstone Guild's most dangerous member. Cal is also the Queen's Assassin, bound to her by magic and unable to leave her service until the task she's set for him is fulfilled. Shadow of the Honey Glade has been training all her life to join the Guild, hoping that one day she'll become an assassin as feared and revered as Cal. But Shadow's mother and aunts expect her to serve the crown as a lady of the Renovian Court. When a surprise attack brings Shadow and Cal together, they're forced to team up as assassin and apprentice. Even though Shadow's life belongs to the court and Cal's belongs to the queen, they cannot deny their attraction to each other. But now, with war on the horizon and true love at risk, Shadow and Cal will uncover a shocking web of lies that will change their paths forever.

—WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED AT THE END OF THIS BOOK??? I figured out the so-called twist like...two chapters in. Fine, ok, whatever. It’s YA, this is not rocket science and I was interested enough in Cale and Shadow to see how it all played out. Only it didn’t really play out! Because the whole end was just this like four chapter retcon of basically EVERYTHING ELSE THAT HAPPENED and I genuinely could not believe it was happening. It didn’t make sense?!? Like with the plot? Also, spoiler, good thing Shadow and the other king haven’t consummated their marriage yet since she and Cale totally fucked after her wedding? What is YA? Why is Amazon telling me this is a Teacher’s Pick? Why hasn’t my hold come through on the sequel yet so I know what happens next?

Low-Stakes Romance Was Real Boring and All The People Were Boring In It

The Ten Rules for Faking It by Sophie Sullivan

As birthdays go, this year’s for radio producer Everly Dean hit rock-bottom. Worse than the “tonsillectomy birthday.” Worse than the birthday her parents decided to split (the first time). But catching your boyfriend cheating on you with his assistant? Even clichés sting. But this is Everly’s year! She won’t let her anxiety hold her back. She’ll pitch her podcast idea to her boss. There’s just one problem. Her boss, Chris, is very cute. (Of course). Also, he's extremely distant (which means he hates her, right? Or is that the anxiety talking)? And, Stacey the DJ didn’t mute the mic during Everly’s rant about Simon the Snake (syn: Cheating Ex). That’s three problems. Suddenly, people are lining up to date her, Bachelorette-style, fans are voting (Reminder: never leave house again), and her interest in Chris might be a two-way street. It’s a lot for a woman who could gold medal in people-avoidance. She’s going to have to fake it ‘till she makes it to get through all of this. Perhaps she’ll make a list: The Ten Rules for Faking It. 

— I am a broken record. Shouting. From the highest hilltop. Just because you think someone is cute when you’re technically not supposed to be dating them does not mean you get to be anything less than nice around them! It’s not cute! And part two, which often goes with part one: rom com dudes have GOT to stop lying or hiding or otherwise avoiding telling people who they really are. It’s a convoluted, passably lazy way of writing and dropping a third-act bomb on the story. Don’t do it. Stop doing it. We’ve moved past the need for hidden identities. Unless he’s, like, a spy or something. Um...this was a weird book. I know Everly had anxiety and that became a PLOT POINT, patent pending, but she was also not super relatable? Which is crazy considering my very real, rather undiagnosed anxiety. Chris was boring. The whole plot, as this title suggests, was very low stakes and no one actually  seemed to remember that their jobs were ever on the line? Did Everly and Chris have a conversation before they decided they liked each other? Who can say, really.

Shipped by Angie Hockman

Between taking night classes for her MBA and her demanding day job at a cruise line, marketing manager Henley Evans barely has time for herself, let alone family, friends, or dating. But when she’s shortlisted for the promotion of her dreams, all her sacrifices finally seem worth it. The only problem? Graeme Crawford-Collins, the remote social media manager and the bane of her existence, is also up for the position. Although they’ve never met in person, their epic email battles are the stuff of office legend. Their boss tasks each of them with drafting a proposal on how to boost bookings in the Galápagos—best proposal wins the promotion. There’s just one catch: they have to go on a company cruise to the Galápagos Islands...together. But when the two meet on the ship, Henley is shocked to discover that the real Graeme is nothing like she imagined. As they explore the Islands together, she soon finds the line between loathing and liking thinner than a postcard. With her career dreams in her sights and a growing attraction to the competition, Henley begins questioning her life choices. Because what’s the point of working all the time if you never actually live?

— YOU NEED TO HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH SOMEONE TO DECIDE YOU LIKE THEM. AUTHORS REALLY REALLY NEED TO LEARN HOW TO BUILD ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS. IF THEY ONLY LIKE EACH OTHER BECAUSE THEY KISS WELL IT’S NOT A GOOD RELATIONSHIP. AND THIS IS COMING FROM ME. Back at it again with the annoying so-called heroine who was just...occasionally real mean to Graem for no reason at all? Also her name was Henley. Which is not a great reason to dislike her, but here we are.

Apparently I Read These Books Out Of Order. Who Knew?

Pride, Prejudice and Other Flavors by Sonali Dev

It is a truth universally acknowledged that only in an overachieving Indian American family can a genius daughter be considered a black sheep.

Dr. Trisha Raje is San Francisco’s most acclaimed neurosurgeon. But that’s not enough for the Rajes, her influential immigrant family who’s achieved power by making its own non-negotiable rules:

·       Never trust an outsider

·       Never do anything to jeopardize your brother’s political aspirations

·       And never, ever, defy your family

Trisha is guilty of breaking all three rules. But now she has a chance to redeem herself. So long as she doesn’t repeat old mistakes.

Up-and-coming chef DJ Caine has known people like Trisha before, people who judge him by his rough beginnings and place pedigree above character. He needs the lucrative job the Rajes offer, but he values his pride too much to indulge Trisha’s arrogance. And then he discovers that she’s the only surgeon who can save his sister’s life.

As the two clash, their assumptions crumble like the spun sugar on one of DJ’s stunning desserts. But before a future can be savored there’s a past to be reckoned with...

A family trying to build home in a new land.

A man who has never felt at home anywhere.

And a choice to be made between the two.

— Surprise, apparently this was the first book in the series. I did not know. It didn’t affect my enjoyment of the Persuasion version in this same ‘verse, which is also strange because I liked the Persuasion one way better. There was a lot of medical in this. And not super uplifting medical, either. This was like...oh the Jane character (I guess???) has cancer and either she’s going to go blind after having a surgery (also she was an artist, so you see how this was a problem) or she’s just going to decide to die. Wait, what? That came out of left field, really. Also DJ and Trisha were not nice to each other. Like, I know this is Pride and Prejudice so there has to be some of that at the start, but it wasn’t like Trisha ever really went through the Darcy-required time at Pemberly. She just decided she liked DJ and told him and it was as awkward as Jane Austen intended it, but then we got more medical and everything was cool. It felt very rushed and shoehorned into a modern setting and the Persuasion one was better. You can’t have Darcy’s growth without the Pemberly stuff. You just can’t.

In Which I Didn’t Like a Nickname??? Is the World Ending??

Crazy Stupid Bromance by Lyssa Kay Adams

Alexis Carlisle and her cat café, ToeBeans, have shot to fame after she came forward as a victim of a celebrity chef’s sexual harassment. When a new customer approaches to confide in her, the last thing Alexis expects is for the woman to claim they’re sisters. Unsure what to do, Alexis turns to the only man she trusts—her best friend, Noah Logan.   Computer genius Noah left his rebellious teenage hacker past behind to become a computer security expert. Now he only uses his old skills for the right cause. But Noah’s got a secret: He’s madly in love with Alexis. When she asks for his help, he wonders if the timing will ever be right to confess his crush.   Noah’s pals in The Bromance Book Club are more than willing to share their beloved “manuals” to help him go from bud to boyfriend. But he must decide if telling the truth is worth risking the best friendship he’s ever had.

— If Noah was going to call her Lexa, then her name should have been Alexa and not Alexis. That’s it and that’s all. Also, the story was n u t s. Estranged dads and kidney failure and they got together so fast in this book. Which usually is cool by me, but I really could not get over the nickname and the estranged family was mean to Alexis. Lexa. HER NAME SHOULD HAVE BEEN ALEXA, IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE. Also Noah was a former hacker? The estranged family accused him corporate espionage or something? A lot happened in this book, guys. Her name should have been Alexa.

Dumb Brother Was Dumb™ Everyone Else Was Real Cute

The Off Limits Rule by Sarah Adams

I have found rock bottom. It's here, moving in with my older brother because I'm too broke to afford to live on my own. It's okay though, because we've always been close and I think I'm going to have fun living with him again.

 That is until I meet Cooper...

 Turns out, my brother has very strong opinions on the idea of me dating his best friend and is dead set against it. According to him, Cooper is everything I should stay away from: flirtatious, adventurous, non-committal, and freaking hot. (I added that last part because I feel like you need the whole picture.) My brother is right--I should stay away from Cooper James and his pretty blue eyes. He's the opposite of what I need right now.

 Nah--who am I kidding? I'm going for it.

— This was cute, mostly mindless fluff. Hit some trope high points, including, obviously, best friends sister. Only the brother in question was a Neanderthal and I really thought people were going to make out more while said brother was on his business trip. I got it for free off Amazon. Which I think should explain a lot. Like, story-wise. Sorry, free Amazon books. Don’t be insulted.

Prose, Prose, Prose, Please Someone Have a Conversation

Trick by Natalia Jaster

In the Kingdom of Spring, Poet is renowned. He's young and pretty, a lover of men and women. He performs for the court, kisses like a scoundrel, and mocks with a silver tongue. Yet allow him this: It's only the most cunning and manipulative soul who can play the fool. For beyond the castle walls, Poet guards a secret. One the Crown would shackle him for. One that he'll risk everything to protect. Alas, it will take more than clever words to deceive Princess Briar. Convinced that he's juggling lies as well as verse, this righteous nuisance of a girl is determined to expose him. But not all falsehoods are fiendish. Poet's secret is delicate, binding the jester and princess in an unlikely alliance—and kindling a breathless attraction, as alluring as it is forbidden.

— The purplest of prose. Mauve prose. Royal purple prose. Lavender prose. There was so much writing here. So much. Too much, some might say. I say. Actually. If we want to get specific. And that was a shame, really, because when Briar and Poet actually had a conversation, they were interesting to read about. Also, the world building here? Yeeeesh. The so-called, wait for it, FOOL TRADE played a prominent role and that was...super cringe. Super Cringe. That being said, I asked Justin what I should read next and he thought it was funny that a book was just called...

Dare by Natalia Jaster

In the Kingdom of Summer, they say she's wild. Locked in a cage by the sea, Flare dreams of escape. She dreams of a lost world, known only in legends. The island is calling to her. And she won't let anyone keep her from it. Especially not him. They say he's cruel. Jeryn has crossed the ocean for the Trade, to bargain for those fierce, imprisoned creatures that make his skin crawl. By law, they're subjects meant for experimentation. And easy to despise. One girl in particular. But on the cusp of transport, the tide rages. That hidden island awaits. Stranded, the prince and prisoner must fight to survive. In a mysterious rainforest, they must band together...if they don't slay one another first. Or become something more to each other.  Something just as dangerous.

— This was Justin’s fault. He could not believe this book was just called Dare. It should have been called “We’re going to weirdly force what is basically slavery into this story and then a prince is going to fall in love with an escaped slave and we’re also going to call that ROMANCE.” y i k e s. Remember that one story that took place over three days? This was the complete opposite. Years! They were shipwrecked for years! They got saved, spoilers, the DAY they started having sex. What are the odds, right?? And then MORE YEARS passed. Multiple years! Five years! They couldn’t actually be together because of that aforementioned slave trade. What the shit, man? Natalia, ya gotta be kidding me with this. The internet claimed Trick was good and a solid follow to reading ACOTAR and that there was this whole verse and it was also good. The internet was wrong.

Nothing Happened, Everything Happened, I...Hated It

Graceling by Kristin Cashore

Kristin Cashore’s bestselling, award-winning fantasy Graceling tells the story of the vulnerable-yet-strong Katsa, a smart, beautiful teenager who lives in a world where selected people are given a Grace, a special talent that can be anything from dancing to swimming. Katsa’s is killing. As the king’s niece, she is forced to use her extreme skills as his thug. Along the way, Katsa must learn to decipher the true nature of her Grace… and how to put it to good use. A thrilling, action-packed fantasy adventure (and steamy romance!) that will resonate deeply with adolescents trying to find their way in the world.

— I can’t believe this was a book. Katsa was so annoying! Like, listen, I know her life was sad. And she was a pawn being used against her will. Blah, blah, blah. Whatever. The tone of the whole book was so strangely formal and Poe was strangely in love with Katsa? Who obviously didn’t want to get married because she was WOMAN HEAR ME ROAR. Or kill people, as the case may be. Only she wanted to make out with Poe? Only ONLY they didn’t even really get together at the end? I could not believe the end of this book. I nearly threw my Kindle across the room. Once again, no apologies for spoilers because do not read this book, but HE WAS BLIND? Katsa had to leave him behind to save his cousin and he just ENDED UP BEING BLIND? AND THEY NEVER GOT TOGETHER REALLY?? What the fuck? Seriously. Steamy romance, my ass. Nothing happened. The villain got defeated in point two seconds. There are other books in this universe? No, thanks.

[rcbirth]

[ CHELLA MAN, TRANS & GENDERQUEER, HE/HIM ] shh ! FISCHEL “FISH” ABRAMS, the ( TWENTY-TWO ) year old THIRD year SOCIOLOGY & PUBLIC POLICY major from CHICAGO, IL is known as an EMERALD around here. HE was invited to join because HIS TED TALK ON THE COMMUNITY ORGANIZATION & RESTAURANT HE COFOUNDED HIT OVER 500MILL VIEWS, and now, they’re here to stay. HE reminds me of THE SMELL OF DINNER COOKING FROM THE NEXT ROOM OVER, SWIMMING ON A SUMMER NIGHT, RUNNER’S HIGH AT THE END OF A RACE. // @opalsmedia

howdy pals! my name is del ( she/they ), and i am jazzed to be here! i’ve been peaking at this rp since it showed up in the tags, so to say i’m excited about bringin my kiddo fish in is an understatement. a lil about me before i get into some basics and links for more info about fish... i’m twenty-three from the cst timezone. i work full-time, but my hours are funky, so you may see me at random hours of the day. big music fan, lover of public health things, over-using kermit the frog memes, & thriller shows and books ( anyone else almost lose it during the season finale of the undoing ??? )! warning: i rant a lot.... and am.... so long winded.... pls forgive me.

now for the fun part.... bby fish! i’m just going to give you basics to reference here, because the link ‘extended info’ has much more extensive head canons, wanted plots, stats, and his full bio.

born into a really well off & successful family ( dad = doctor & professor at UC’s med school, mom = big wig in dem establishment & advisor to ... oop! state senator obama ), fish had just about everything that he could ever need growing up. fish was super eager to please his parents and really ??? everyone. 

his grandma was and still is his favorite person to have ever walked this earth. probably has a tattoo for that woman but like ... she’s a peach 1/2 so rightfully so. 

two things about his grandma.... first! her maiden name was fischel, and when fish was growing up, she’d always call him her little fish. it just stuck, and that was that! he would forever be known fischel for business™ and fish for the pals. second! she was his biggest advocate and always believed in him. ( food tw ): she helped encourage his love and interest in cooking, food, food soc, etc. they were big julia child fans. a lot of grandma/fish time was literally just them goofing around in the kitchen and trying to recreate things they saw her make. also.... chicago just has a phenomenal food scene in general, and those two really soaked it in, trying out the various signature dishes of the various neighborhoods, and learning about the history behind them. ( tw end )

he loves anthony bourdain & samin nosrat. big fan.

( divorce tw ) parents got divorced and didn’t really say much other than that he would stay with his father in chicago and visit his mom on alternating holidays and summers. there wasn’t like The Discussion ( tw end )

while he was doing a lil medical internship and staying out with his mom ( cancer, death of a loved one tw ) he got the news that his grandmother’s cancer had gotten to the point where she had been put on life support. his father made the decision that it was in her best interest and fish’s to end her support. fish found out after she had already passed. he tried to claim that it was in his best interest since fish had always been too emotional and the family’s so there wouldn’t be this massive fight.... ( tw end ) cue beginning of resentment of the fam & realization that he’s got no one in his corner except himself

our table <3333 ( food tw ) okay so taking inspiration from his time touring chicago neighborhoods with his grandma & idolizing bourdain and nosrat, fish created what began as an after school club with some of his pals. the idea was to learn about food accessibility, urban farming, food sociology, & cooking from peers, but fish had Big Big plans & wanted it to turn into a bit of a safe haven for kids & young adults on the southside. ( tw end ) utilizing both support from partnerships with other chicago based non profits, school, and locals in the food scene, he helped start the building process for an actual brick and mortar place for our table. 

this got some buzz, and when a journalist came to interview fish and the other co founders they even received national attention... leading to what would be a ted talk appearance in the future, but back to entering strathmore...

fish hopes to utilize both sociology and public policy degrees to help him become a policy advocate and researcher. he hates how slow moving and formal things always were with his mom’s work. his goal is to utilize research about community based efforts and organizations ( like our table ) and science, to create substantial and sustainable policy for politicians that aren’t scared of being seen as “””too radical””.

his invitation into the society came months later after his ted talk reached over 500 million views. although, he’ll tell you it's because word got around to the members who heard about how good of a chef he is .... he loves it. he literally longs ... yearns some might say .... for community and is very committed and protective over his circlet. 

grief, guilt tw: poppy’s disappearance has him borderline unhinged a bit. she was one of the people he considered himself closer too, and it’s just an unearthing of some of the feelings he had right after his grandmother’s death of anger, confusion, guilt etc. he won’t openly express that or talk about it, but it definetely manifests itself physically. tw end

inspiration-wise, he is a mix of laurel castillo from how to get away with murder, pope heyward from outer banks, grizz from the society, dani clayton from bly manor, emily prentiss from criminal minds, and a bit of payton hobart from the politican. 

music inspiration: willow tree by tash sultana & jerome farah, ain’t it fun by paramore, barefoot in the park by james blake, bad bad news by leon bridges

his personality is that he’s a sociable guy for the most part, but he’s definetely an introvert really enjoying his time for himself. he’s very methodical despite how emotional he is and can be. very creative, protective, blunt .... this can run him into issues even if he just means it as a joke.... many times its not though, he’s pretty critical of others and esp himself, but also v loyal and thoughtful when it comes down to the pals.... will be dropping off some homemade soup and crackers if he knows you’re fighting a lil cold.

BIG THINGS: a lot of his character is based around the subtle, warm intimacy of small dinners with loved ones??? this is what he longs for more than anything and always has??? it’s not super overstated or in your face, but you know its there because you can feel it. in the past you saw him being more passive, kinda allowing himself to float in the background, but now he really is his own advocate and creates community wherever he can. he’s v intentional in his relationships and conversations, not wanting to have just surface level connections or chats. he is v much a Scorpio™.

see more. pinterest. plots. template credit.

[alolanrain]

Arceus’s Mothman!AU Part. 1

The wonderful @hiddenbyfaeries helped me with this as it’s only part 1 and I’m getting to the point where my body’s shutting down for the night. So here’s me and Tori’s take on this AU I’ve created on a whim!

- Where everything’s somewhat the same but Ash is a little more unhinged and is like a college student that’s absolutely reach the max LIMIT of putting up with Arceus shit

- More like: “Arceus you damn slut! Stop dropping other Legendary Problems on me and let me have a noRMALE VACATION”

- Ash vlogging all his Legendary BD

- and at first, everyone thinks it's a damn hoax

- he’s just so more open with all the legendary shit and everyone is so amazed but he’s like: “they eat and shit like every other living being!?”

- but then, he's 16 and just posts a pic of "I lived bitch"

- and he's just, lying next to which ever Legendary who killed him then revived him

- He just starts putting a little camera in his hat

- And so he just posts what ever happens

- Pikachu ends up wearing one

- no editing just, "that looks good"

- HE WEARS A CUTE OCEAN BANDANA AROUND HIS NECK THAT MISTY GOT HIM

- the whole world: "IS THAT FUCKING ARCEUS?!"

- Ash: "Arceus, stop trying to steal my shit!"

- "no arceus, my pot pie"

- Baking with Victini

- he’s an actual capable adultTM in this

- Which means he can bake, clean, do his own laundry, etc.

- Adult thingsTM

- "today, we're gonna see if weed can affect a pokemon"

- .... S o m e what

- he just shitposts

- he just doesn’t sleep and everyone’s now sure his blood is 87% coffee

- Like, no one has E V E R seen Ash without his gigantic traveling size mug that holds more creamer and sugar that actually coffee

- He complains about everything and Drake wheezes as Lance tries to negate the PR damage until he gives up and slowly joins with Ash and Drake

- also! he totally calls the League out on their bs and such

- he totally mocks most champions

- And they pay more attention to him now since his is the fated Chosen OneTM and in their folds now

- He has a YouTube

- And it’s just him complaining about Champions dress style

- Along with certain gym leaders

- He humanizes the Champion role a lot, but everyone else still fears him because he can call Arceus a Mew-fearing slut and not get kicked into hell on the spot

- "giratina, who is just a babey y'all, would like to be let out of their punishment realm"

- "god, I wish I could be Yvetal. Century long naps? only to wake up to wreck some shit and put the fear of God back into people? then go back to napping? Living the D R E A M"

- also, then he goes to alola

- kukui wasn't prepares

- rip kukui

- guzma, on the other hand, is a fucking F A N

- the alola kids are kinda sheltered, compared to his other friends

- except for Gladion and Hau

- who both have traveled around (even if it's just around alola for Gladion)

- Hau and Gladion have seen his videos

- Ash is a M E M E

- And he’s also not afraid to give his honest opinion about people and things

- Guzma soon becomes one of his favorite people in Alola next to Kukui, Acerola, Plumeria, and Nanu

- Because their all dead inside to some extent but Acerola

- They just speak he’ll speak at each other and cause Nanu even more pain

- Nanu is suffering

- No but that also means that Ash can actually read all the social cues people would send his way

- And Kukui is fucked because when Ash saw the Mask Royal in TV he was just like:

- “Yep that’s my Guardian, who the fuck does he think he’s fooling? They have the same fucking abs!”

- "same beard!" "same beard!"

- He’s also S O fucking tired all the time

- Like he’s literally seconds away from blacking out if it weren’t for his heightened ability and the pure caffeine pills he crushed into his traveling mug

- Because he takes on more league work from Drake and Lance so the two won’t be so swamped

- And also dealing with legendaries bs 24/7 365 days a year

- God but just imagine this 19-20 y/o fucker stumbles a little behind the Professor and is introduced as Ash Ketchum; Orange Islands Champion and the greater of the most loved shitpost the internet/world has ever seen

- And Ash just starts raining answer on questions when he looks up from other paper work

- He just creams Lillie and Sophocles. And ends up getting the top spot in the class, which also equals the top spot in the school because Ash is SMART

- He’s basically an OP human god

- But the only thing holding him back from using his whole potential is his spite for Arceus and he’s just d o e s n ‘ t want to.

- Like he caught on pretty fast to all the evil guys plots

- He totally fucks their shit up early enough to where he has time to actually focus more on helping his team grow instead of worrying about another ‘end of the world’ scenario

- I also feel like he would be VERY unnatural strong in this AU, but he’s just to tired/lazy/doesn’t give enough of a single shit

- like, no one expects him be so powerful or smart

- then he just, pulls shit outta the air all lazy like

- All that’s stopping him is the will to just

- Not Do It(Tm)

- He has no fucks left to give

- I don’t think he even had any to begin with

- In this AU he was able to repay Misty with a brand new bike

- But he was a hyper little shit until Johto with the Entie and his kidnapped mom situation

- Lance ranted about him to his colleges when Ash was younger, and the man still does. But when everyone finally meets him they’re all like: “is This the kid you were talking about?” And Lance is all excited and happy and says “Yep!”

- And Ash is just dressed in comfort clothes with a bulging backpack and coffee that you could smell the creamer a couple miles away

- Ash is just like all the Champions except Leon and Wallace mashed together into one very, very tired young adult with a coffee addiction that’s 100,000x worse than Lances

[vincent-frankenstein]

Sugared Strawberries

inspired by this prompt by the amazing, talented, wonderful @aliferous-ly !!! thanks for letting me write this bro i had a BLAST

Summary: Before — before there was a divide between the light and dark sides, before the mindscape split in two, before Virgil was alone — Patton made sugared strawberries. Virgil loved them, not for the taste but for the memories they made, his family gathered in the kitchen around him, love and light and warmth.

Then he became Anxiety, and everything changed. Patton stopped making sugared strawberries.

But redemption brings a lot of things — some new and some old and some so familiar he can barely stand it. When he walks into the kitchen one morning to find Patton covered in sugar, a tray of strawberries in his hands, he finally realizes:

He has a family again.

Pairings: platonic LAMP, platonic moxiety, just fambly feels

Warnings: deceit, remus/the duke, angst and self-hatred

Gen Taglist: @joygaytrash @ruh-roh-emer-has-an-account @aliferous-ly @im-crunchie @triton-bear @emiisanidiot @jemthebookworm

Virgil didn’t remember much about his childhood.

That whole thing about childhood mental illnesses causing memory problems? He was a childhood mental illness. That held doubly true for him. He remembered parts, bits and pieces, and knew of others, a patchwork mess of information given to him by the others that he couldn’t even trust, fully, because more than half had been stitched together by Deceit himself.

He knew that there hadn’t been such a divide between the light sides and the Others, once. He knew that there had been sleepovers and movie nights and birthday parties, that they’d all been a family, each of them, light and dark and everything in between. Patton still had pictures hanging in his room; Deceit in a snake onesie, wrapped in blankets, and Remus with a tiny, drawn-on mustache, and himself, open and smiling and unafraid, surrounded by love.

He knew that, the moment Thomas hit middle school, everything changed forever. The Great Schism, Roman called it, ignoring Logan’s lectures on the historical and religious significance of the title. A divide, a split, cleaving one world into two.

He knew that everything changed the moment Caution became Anxiety.

Because that was when the world went from scary to bad wrong terrifying — and that was when he decided he had to keep Thomas from it all, keep Thomas safe, no matter what. That was when Thomas realized some parts of his personality weren’t “good,” and they woke up to find the mindscape split in two. 

He didn’t remember much from before that moment, that split — but there was one memory he refused to forget, one that you couldn’t pry from his cold, dead fingers: sugared strawberries.

They had been Patton’s favorite, way back when. He used to gather all the sides in the kitchen and present them like they were the greatest treasure on earth, crystalline berries as valuable as gold. Roman — just Imagination back then, a tiny spitfire in a Disney prince Halloween costume — even made up a song for them; he’d dance around the kitchen, twirling any sides unlucky enough to be within reach.

Virgil would stand in the doorway, shoving as many strawberries as he could into his mouth at once. Patton would laugh, handing him more and more. “They’re not going anywhere, kiddo, no need to rush!” he’d say.

Then the Schism happened.

Patton stopped making sugared strawberries.

Virgil remembered what came after with all the clarity he wished he had for the memories before. The cold, the quiet, the emptiness that came with being banished to the dark side of the mindscape. Deceit grew distant, furious, and blamed Patton with all his might. “He’s right and wrong, Anxiety!” he used to rant, every opportunity he got, and he’d lie and say the tears pooling in his eyes were from fury, not sorrow. “Sure, he’s definitely not the cause of Thomas thinking we’re wrong.”

And Virgil — Anxiety couldn’t, couldn’t believe that Patton would do such a thing. He’d always been so… so nice. Even when Anxiety’s warnings turned from cautious to borderline cruel, he’d always been patient and loving and kind. Unless he was faking it — maybe he was, maybe he’d been faking it the whole time, sunshine and sugared strawberries to hide hatred for a side that he didn’t need anymore, didn’t want anymore — and suddenly Anxiety believed, believed with all his heart that he was wrong and Patton had done it on purpose.

The worst part was that Anxiety couldn’t even blame him.

The Others tried, for a while, to maintain the same level of warmth they’d had before — but they just weren’t built for that sort of thing. After all, how could something so wrong pretend to be right? Even Deceit couldn’t manage that for long. It was too hard to stave off the cold and the dark, and the creeping feeling of wrong that never quite left them alone; eventually they just gave up.

Anxiety retreated into himself. He ignored Deceit’s futile attempts at keeping them together, and avoided Remus like the plague — without his brother there to reign him in, the Duke became unhinged, distant, terrifying in the worst kind of way — and pretended like he didn’t care. Like he didn’t miss the warmth, the happiness, that he knew he’d once had. 

But he did. It was like a part of him had been torn away, and he ached with every memory that faded, every bit of warmth he lost. He missed watching movies with Imagination and listening to Curiosity read aloud, and he missed missed missed Patton’s hugs, and his smile, and —

He missed sugared strawberries.

Years passed. Curiosity became Logic and then became Logan; Imagination became Creativity and then Roman. The world became bigger, scarier, as Thomas was thrust into adulthood, and Anxiety forwent any and all chances of being loved in favor of being feared. He had to protect the one thing that still mattered to him. And if that meant he had to be too scary to ignore, then… so be it.

Sometimes he snuck down into the common room, late at night, and tried to recreate the sugared strawberries. He never could. Patton had made them with love — and Anxiety, he didn’t have any of that left to give. They never tasted the same. He always got it wrong.

Eventually, he stopped trying.

He just didn’t see the point. Even if he got the recipe right — which he never, never would — he’d still be alone. They’d never taste exactly as he remembered if they didn’t come with a bright grin from Patton, or a one-armed hug from Roman as he danced around the kitchen, or the warmth and light and happiness he knew he’d never get again. 

That was just the way things were. He was Anxiety — a villain, a dark side, an Other, hated by every person he’d once loved, hated by the one person he was supposed to protect. There was nothing he could do to fix that. There was nothing he could do to change that.

The one thing he could do was leave.

And then — to his great, great surprise — he was proven wrong. Things changed. Anxiety became Virgil and Virgil became wanted, needed, loved in ways he hadn’t thought possible. He woke one morning to find that his room was back in the light side; that instead of the silence he’d grown so used to, he could hear Roman and Logan playfully arguing downstairs, and Patton singing to himself as he bustled around the kitchen. 

He made sure to wipe the stupid smile off his face before he went downstairs. He couldn’t let them see how happy they made him. That would ruin his Aesthetic™.

“Virgil!” Roman cried when he appeared at the bottom of the stairs. “Virgil, would you please tell nerdmione over here to turn off his nerd show so I can watch Lilo and Stitch?”

“Roman, you have a television in your room,” Logan interrupted before Virgil could speak, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I am not turning off my documentary so you can watch your nonsensical Disney movie for the hundredth time.”

“‘Nonsensical?’ How dare you! Lilo and Stitch is a cinematic masterpiece! And I’ll have you know, I’ve seen it at least three-hundred times!” Roman scoffed, offended. “Besides, you’re all down here and my room is up there! I want to watch it here.”

“Then you will have to wait.” Logan shot Virgil a look — can you believe this guy? he said with a quirk of his brow — and Virgil rolled his eyes, a fond smirk slipping into place. “Why don’t you try watching this with me? Maybe you’ll learn something. Newton knows you need it.”

“B-to-the-oring!” Roman scoffed, rolling his eyes and throwing his whole body into the action, hip jutting out to the side. Then he blinked. “Wait, what was that last bit?”

Virgil snickered into the back of his hand and moved on into the kitchen, where he leaned against the doorway, stuffing his hands in his pockets. Patton stood at the counter, bouncing in place to the happy tune he hummed as he made… something. Virgil couldn’t see past him. “Morning, Pat,” he said, and Patton whirled around, his bright smile lighting up the whole room.

“Virgil!” he said happily, beaming. “G’morning, kiddo! How’re ya doin’?” His hands were covered in something white and powdery; it fluttered to the floor around him like snow as he flapped while he talked. Virgil shrugged, the corners of his mouth twitching.

“I’m alive,” he said. “You?”

“I’m doin’ great!” he said. “Making a certain sweet surprise for someone I love berry much.” He winked, giggled, and turned back to whatever it was he was making. Virgil blinked, pushing away from the wall to go look over Patton’s shoulder, but before he could Patton turned around, holding a tray laden with small berries.

Virgil forgot how to breathe.

“I haven’t made these in forever,” Patton said, his grin warm and welcoming, “but I remembered how much you used to love ‘em, and I figured I’d whip a couple up to celebrate your growth! To let you seed how berry proud I am of you.”

“Oh,” Virgil managed, and he knew he should have said more, he knew he should do something, but he’d forgotten how to exist in the face of something he’d wanted, needed, for so so long. Sugared strawberries. Patton had made sugared strawberries — for him, Patton made sugared strawberries for him, and he knew he’d been accepted but it hadn’t hit him, really, until that moment. 

He had a family again.

“Kiddo?” Patton’s eyebrows furrowed. “Are you okay?”

“I’m — I’m good,” he said, and meant so much by it that he almost choked. “I mean — I’m —”

Shit shit shit — he swiped at his eyes with his sleeve and looked away, face burning. Tears pooled in the corners of his eyes faster than he could wipe them away. Patton made a small noise of understanding and put the tray back on the counter, rushing forward to scoop Virgil into a hug.

And that was too much. The dam broke, and suddenly he was sobbing into Patton’s shoulder, even as every instinct in him screamed at him to stop, stop showing them how much it means to you, stop giving them power. Patton rubbed soft circles across his back and whispered comfort into his ear. “I’ve gotcha,” he said, softer than Virgil had ever heard him. “It’s okay. It’s all okay.”

Virgil heard Logan and Roman come into the kitchen and he clutched the back of Patton’s shirt harder, burying his face in his shoulder. He couldn’t — couldn’t face them, couldn’t stop crying, couldn’t push away the burning hope eating through his lungs, try as he might. He had a family again. He had a family again. The thought refused to stop running through his mind, a mantra, neverending. He had a family again.

Eventually, finally, the tears slowed. He could breathe again. He pushed out of Patton’s embrace and swiped his sleeve across his face, cheeks burning bright red. “Sorry,” he managed, his voice gruff. “I’ll just — I’ll just go —”

“Oh no you don’t, Green Gay,” Roman said, blocking the doorway. “We’re having an emotional moment here!”

“Ew,” Logan and Virgil said in unison. 

“Kiddo, it’s okay,” Patton said gently, setting a sugary hand on his shoulder. “You’re safe here.”

“Right — yeah.” Virgil cleared his throat, stuffing his hands back into his pockets. He searched the room for something, anything to say to break the tension building in his chest. “You… you got sugar on my hoodie.”

Patton giggled. “Now it matches your sweet personality!”

“Lies and slander,” Virgil said. “I’m not sweet.”

“Falsehood,” Logan said, raising an eyebrow. “You’re covered in sugar.”

“That’s —” Virgil cut himself off, pressing his lips into a thin line to keep from smiling. “Yep.”

Roman slung an arm over his shoulder, squeezing him in a one-armed hug, and Patton grabbed the tray. “You want some?” he asked with a warm smile, as Roman reached over and grabbed a handful.

And Virgil took a breath and reached forward, gathering a pile of strawberries in his hand. He shoved them into his mouth and nearly burst into tears again at the taste — or, rather, at the memories it invoked, at the warmth that once again surrounded him, enveloped him, filled him. 

“No need to rush, kiddo!” Patton said with a laugh, as Virgil shoved more strawberries into his mouth. “They’re not going anywhere.”

And this time, Virgil knew they weren’t.