#i love my awesome girlfriend and she deserves some credit alright

[werevulvi]

Splitting and merging

I've done a lot of inner work to figure myself out, in my detransition and prior to it. I randomly started reflecting over it again, and this is the (really comprehensive) result. When I look at my gender expression as a spectrum from the most masculine I presented as in my trans man days, to the most feminine I presented as in my pre-transition and early detransition days, I feel that both of those extremes are uncomfortable for me. I've lived most of my life through differently gendered personas. It's been three of them: Kazanndra - was the name I created at age 12 for a self image I wanted to become. She's a hyper-feminine version of myself. We're talking long hair, shaven body, no facial hair, big boobs, narrow waist, big butt, heavy makeup, short skirts, tight tops, high heels, painted nails, etc. Personality wise she's melancholic, submissive, self-harming, and hyper-sexual in a way she tries to take back control by never saying no to any man and being very submissive. She is, in fact, a slave to her own pain and a pawn of patriarchy. For many times in my past, I felt like she was the only kind of woman I could possibly want to be, and if I couldn't be her, I'd rather be a man. Everyone kept telling me I shouldn't be like her, which was one of the things that drove me to transition. She is the mental image and tragic manifestation of my internalised misogyny. She's a trauma queen. John - was the name I went by as a trans guy, and thus he was the persona I tried to become in my transition. He's not so different from Kazanndra in his personality, but copes with the same issues through a lens of false masculinity instead. As he's also hyper-sexual in a very similar manner, he's submissive with men in a way to try to erase his femaleness by fucking away the pain. He is more so a manifestation of my internalised lesbophobia, a combination of the misogyny and homophobia I turned towards myself. He attempts to always be the polar opposite of what I actually am, he's the brick wall to my vulnerability, the anger to my fear, and he's the "masc gay man" to the femme lesbian I really am.

These were not actual alters, but rather like roles that I acted out, or different masks that I put on, taken to an extreme. I was never diagnosed with a dissociative disorder, but I highly suspect I had OSDD, cause of my actual alter. I knew I did not meet enough criteria of DID to be diagnosed with it. Just to clarify. Both of those two personas are my most extreme states. I lived through them at different times of my life thinking they were the real me at those times, but they always pushed each other away which created a huge inner conflict. When I first figured I might be transgender at age 15, I was terrified of transitioning and flipped over into playing out and almost becoming Kazanndra, as a response to my fears about transition and my past traumas, until I was 19. During those 4 years, I lived most of my life through the Kazanndra lens, but on rare occasion John peaked through and that messed with me. I used to refer to those 4 years as my "trans denial" period. At age 19 after more abuse I flipped the switch and instead lived through John believing I was him and that Kazanndra had just been a persona and a coping mechanism, which she was, but she was also me. While seeing myself as a trans man and living through my John persona, Kazanndra would pop up on occasion just like it had been before, but in reverse. That too, messed with me. Anna - was my only actual alter, and I didn't live through her but rather side by side with her, as if we were two people sharing one body. She was very different from both Kazanndra and John, she was feminine but not to an extreme and much more natural in her expression. She was happy to be female, but also very dominant and assertive in a way I could described as "masculine" and her trauma showed through a complete lack of sexual interest, bullying and violent tendencies.

I'm no longer split into those three parts, but have become somewhat of a mix between them. But I also have aspects that neither of them had, the aspects they all existed to eliminate: my vulnerability and my lesbianism. Both John and Kazanndra drove me head first into seeking out men sexually, in very self-destructive ways, while Anna attempted to stop me with a trauma-induced asexuality, but neither expressed even the slightest hint of attraction to women or any actual attraction at all. They covered it up, and quite effectively, but my genuine self did shine through every once in a while, as a form of forbidden longing for the warmth of my actual attraction to women. And by the end of the time that I had with Anna as a separate entity alongside me, I for the first time ever noticed she was not against me dating the person I was into: my current girlfriend. She was only ever against me being with men, and now I know, she was trying to protect me.

Now I'm no longer split, but I'm only beginning to realise what kinds of effects that has had on me. Basically, John merged with Kazanndra by the end of last year when I started having a beard as a woman, my lesbianism emerged from my depths, and together they became Laura. And by spring this year Laura merged with Anna, when I started incorporating her style into my own, found more strength in my vulnerability, and I yet again became Sara. Laura was a sort of transition in itself. She was definitely on the right track, my first agonising steps to accepting my femaleness and coming to terms with my transition and my sexuality. She was not a persona, but also not the full me. She was a gateway, or a path, that I much needed to travel through. I was healing through her, but she was not my end goal. Sara is more than just my birth name; it is the name of my whole child self before I split. And I think that's why I've been starting to feel connected to that name again since around spring this year, which was when I fully merged. Perhaps the reasons I could not connect to it before was related to how split up I was as a person. But now, as a whole person again, I realise that all of my personas and alters smacked into one coherent personality, is me, Sara. So to be Sara is my ultimate goal, but that too is a work in progress.

I do not remember much of the child that I was, before the age of 9 when my traumatised mind split into two halves: me and Anna, and then continued to fragment into personas as I grew up. She's too young for me to fully reach within myself. Although I do keep trying, cause I think reaching her is an important puzzle piece in my further healing.

How Anna is connected to why I transitioned is, I think, more indirect than anything. She was never male-identified. In fact she was closer to the genuine me than ever I was myself even (which is a scary thought, but true), and she was the aspect of me that was the most connected to my femaleness and very defensive of it. However, her existence was a direct response to my traumas, and my transitioning was another direct response to my traumas. So they're indirectly connected cause they stem from the same source. They were two different escape mechanisms that clashed. Anna was against me transitioning. She felt it as a direct violation of her autonomy and as me destroying her (our/my) body. It was a huge conflict which even led to her raping me, one desperate night back in early 2011 when I had been self-medicating with testosterone for some 6 or 7 months. My transition created a huge inner conflict within myself, to say the least. I didn't take Anna's existence into account that she was still somehow... me. I wanted to erase her, not merge with her.

Since my detransition now, I can no longer think of myself as "non-binary" but I'm rather just trying to find a healthy balance between my extreme masculinity (John) and my extreme femininity (Kazanndra), to have them co-exist peacefully instead of fighting and switching back and forth, while also taking what once was Anna into account. I've discovered that for me I best express that healthy balance as a bearded, deep-voiced, hairy woman with an affinity for red lipstick, dresses and long hair (yeah I'm saving that fucker out again). It's me being assertive, strong-willed, logical, a realist and not afraid to take space; while also being emotional, dreamy, vulnerable, nurturing and creative. It's me combining dominance with submission in a healthy and playful way that feels enriching and healing, and what it actually is, is me combining familiar comfort with going outside of my comfort zone and finding healthy ways to express my sexuality with another woman as a woman myself. To listen to my boundaries but also dare to explore my desires. Instead of searching for gender labels anymore, I'm finding harmony in my androgyny and coming to peace with my biological female sex, and with my homosexuality. The only labels I do and will wear are woman, detrans, lesbian, femme and I may on occasion describe myself as androgynous or gnc. My healing began in early 2017 when I broke up with my ex and became friends with Anna. I swung to the most masculine extreme of my John-persona I had ever been. During that year I rejected my attraction to women completely and planned on getting SRS to rid myself of the last remaining visible aspects of my femaleness. It was my ultimate denial, a strong reaction to my tapping into my traumas and little by little sorting them out. Then in early 2018 I started vaguely connecting to my body as I began to listen to it. My mind had finally started to let go of its tight grip on my denial. Mid 2018 I swung back to my Kazanndra-persona as I detransitioned. A few months later I merged my Johh-persona and Kazanndra-persona together and discovered my true lesbian sexuality. A few months after that, I merged with Anna and felt a new, stable calm within myself and felt myself grounding more. I started missing my birth name, and eventually took it back. Alongside all that, I've been working hard on my relationship issues in the past and now believe I have the most solid, healthy relationship ever, with my girlfriend. It all started with one idea, two and a half years ago: I'm gonna start listening to myself, allow all and any kinds of thoughts and feelings to exist within me, and not push any of them away. They're not dangerous, and I know I know that. I followed that idea through, made it into a promise. Eventually it led me here, to my utter astonishment. I do not regret that, but it's been a very difficult journey that I was not prepared for at all. I believe it's all connected. Why I transitioned, my personas John and Kazanndra, my alter Anna, my internalised lesbophobia, my intrusive sexual thoughts about men, my traumas, my (birth) name, how I struggle to figure out what is my authentic self, even my style and gender expression, and so on. And detangling that massive heap of psychological wounds for the past couple of years has almost become a bit of a hobby for me by now. It's no longer terrifying, but exciting instead. It's always been rewarding, seeing my true self shine through the cracks and form into a more and more solid and clear image in my mind, slowly over time. I did most of that inner work myself and had very little help from any actual therapy; although my girlfriend has been an immense support and invaluable help in giving me advice, listening to my endless rambles, comforting me in my panic and helping me stay on the right track. For that, and much more, I am forever grateful for her. The rewards I’ve gotten have been a newfound ability to ground myself and finding peace, comfort and love coming from within myself to protect and care for me. It will always be worth it.

[intercoursefluids]

The Impromptu Sleepover Part 1

“Alright! The adults are asleep what do you guys want to do?”

Alya being Alya, decided to take over the sleepover to celebrate Marinette’s friends finally realizing (or in most cases finally speaking up) about Lila’s lies.

“Swordfight!”

“Movie Marathon!”

“Let’s play truth or dare!”

Different ideas all resound from the girls currently huddled in Marinette’s room, all the boys trying to pretend they didn’t exist.

Only nine people were there, Adrien had wanted to come to the sleepover, but his dad wouldn’t let him.

These 10 were the only ones from her class to come back to her and apologize once they realized who the real victim was.

Marinette almost couldn’t believe her eyes when Alix, Alya, Kagami, Chloe, Nino, Kim, Max, Nathaniel, and Marc came up to her asking for her back.

The only ones who had actually believed Lila’s lies were Alya, Max, and Nathaniel but the others still apologized for not speaking out for her.

This group apology and cry session that immediately followed ended up with them holding a sleepover to celebrate their reconnection.

One thing Marinette forgot about though. Was the fact that Chat Noir would come to hang out with her on Fridays.

Which is why, when pebbles started hitting her window. She damn near had a heart attack when everyone else noticed immediately stopping their conversations.

“Mari, Love, Darling dearest. Who, might I ask, is throwing pebbles at your window?”

Every single one of her friends look at her with shit-eating grins as Kim blinks up innocently at her like he didn't just confirm for everyone there was in fact someone outside throwing a rock at her window.

Persistently.

With a deep sigh, Marinette grabs a lightsaber and spray bottle from the back of her closet.

"Alya, I am giving you permission to film this. I am NOT, however, to post this to any social media, and no one except for those in this room are to ever see the footage unless I give explicit permission otherwise. Understand?"

Alya nods frantically pulling out her phone as she and Marinette climb up to the balcony.

"Oh, Romeo Oh Romeo. Where art tho Romeo?"

Chat Noirs sarcastic call sounds from below with a bouquet of Alstroemeria, Amaryllis, and Blue Irises.

Alya hides behind the railing, just out of Chat Noir's sight as she films the interaction.

With a deep sigh, Marinette turns to Chat with regret and sorrow written all across her face, making Chat pause.

"Princess? What's the matter-"

"I'm sorry Chat Noir. But it's over."

The stricken look on his face almost makes Marinette feel sorry for him.

Almost.

"I don't understand? Did I do something wrong?"

With another deep sigh, Marinette runs a hand over her face.

"It's over Chat."

Faking tears, Marinette ever so slowly pulls the lightsaber from behind her back turning it on making the red illuminate half her face.

"I have the high ground."

Marinette sniffles for good measure as Alya finally catches on. Turning her phone back to Chat to see him looking like he was about to cry before it finally clicks.

His face goes blank as he stares up at one of his best friends.

"I hate you so much."

Marinette cackles as he pulls out his baton, stretching up to her balcony to be face to face with her.

"I can't believe that guy calls you 'Angel'. Your halo hides your horns too well and- Ladyblogger? What are you doi- Eep!"

He cuts off abruptly as Marinette squirts him in the face with the spray bottle making him reel back with a yowl.

In his haste to get away, he knocks himself off balance starting to fall over backward until Marinette grabs his bell yanking him forward.

"Okay, that is it! I'm going home and I'm telling Ladybug you're picking on me."

Marinette wheezes, trying to get her breath back and just giving up. Climbing down her skylight to collapse in a pile of giggles.

Chat and Alya both follow her down. Alya pushing her off her bed so Kim has to catch her before she hits the floor.

"Please Alya. PLEASE, tell me you got his reaction on film."

Alya smirks showing the video currently saving to her phone.

"Of course I did. Now we have a new guest here now assuming that Chat wants to stay for the sleepover."

Chat's eyes widen, looking every part the excited kitten.

"Can I?! I've never been to a sleepover before!"

All of the girls gasp in horror, surrounding Chat as they search through drawers and Marinette's closet.

Marinette, always one step ahead, runs to chat.

"Go in the bathroom, detransform put these on, and come back out. I'm assuming your Kwami eats camembert cheese since you constantly smell like it. I swear no one here is going to find out your identity or even try if they don't want me to put them on blast with all of the dirt I have on them. Now go!"

Chat is shoved into the bathroom, the door slamming shut behind him. Doing as he is told in fear of Marinette, Chat detransforms catching Plagg as he cackles in the air.

"Oh, I like her! She'd make a great kitten, with how easy it is for her to cause chaos, just how I like it!."

Shaking his head at his cackling Kwami as he got dressed. Putting the mask Marinette made him on trying it securely around his head. Stepping out to find Marinette coming back with a LARGE tray of food and everyone else huddled around Alya's phone.

Chat can't help the startled yelp he lets out when Alix pulls him down to her, gently petting his hair as she glares at Marinette.

"You're a monster Marinette. How could you do that to him?! Look at his face! His little baby face! He looked heartbroken!"

Marinette snorts at the playful scolding.

"Let him go, Alix. Go find your own stray."

Alix snorts as Marinette pulls a blushing Chat to her hugging him close. Marinette sits down dragging him with her as he buries his face in her hair. Too embarrassed to speak.

He doesn't have a babyface. Does he?

"Awe come on Mari, you found the cutest one the least you could do is share him!"

Everyone laughs as Kim makes a grab for Chat just for Marinette to pull him closer to her.

"Noooooo, this is MY alley cat! Go find your own!"

Chat Noir would never admit how hard he had to fight down his purr when Marinette started petting his hair.

You know. Before he lost that battle and a purr sounded loudly through his chest.

"Please stop. It's not fair and you're embarrassing me. Mariiiiii! Stooooooop."

Everyone laughs when Chat complains for Marinette to stop, even as he starts to melt into a puddle on her lap.

"One of these days I'm going to tell M'lady on you and she's gonna dangle you from the Eiffel Tower."

Now, under normal circumstances, everyone would be worried, but it's hard to be serious when one of Paris's superheroes is melted in a puddle in your friend's lap with a purr so loud it's hard to understand him.

"I'm pretty sure Ladybug would dangle YOU from the Eiffel Tower for being in a girls room this late, without letting her parents know. Even more, so that you detransformed in front of us. Still want to tell Ladybug on Marinette?"

Everyone turns to Marc, Nathaniel's adorable spouse as they radiate badassery.

Chat's purr stutters before starting up just as loudly again.

"I will no longer be telling M'lady."

Marinette snorts leaning back on her chaise as Chat adjusts himself so he's laying between her legs with his head on her stomach. Facing the rest of the class as Marinette plays with his hair.

"Are you guys dating?"

"Of course they are Cesaire. Ridiculous-!"

"Utterly ridiculous!" "Ew! No!"

Are the two different responses that cut Chloe off. The group finishing Chloe's catchphrase as Marinette and Chat Noir look at the rest of the class in disgust.

"Okay, first of all. Chat what the HELL do you mean 'ew'? Marinette is a babe, and everyone in this room has had a crush on her at least once before. How dare you say 'ew' like you would never date her you would be incredibly lucky if she even considered you."

Alya states with a finger in Chat's face.

Alix, Alya, Kagami, Chloe, Max, Kim, Nathaniel, Marc, and Nino all looking incredibly offended for Marinette even as she blushes and tries to hide her face.

"Guys, stop! And what do you mean all of you? Half of you are dating each other!"

Chat snickers at her distress, pulling out his burner phone and snapping a picture of her face.

"Okay, there may or may not be a literal 'Queen Marinette Club" or 'QMC' for short. We even have several social media accounts dedicated to giving you the credit you deserve. Before you ask this started that one time we went to Gotham and you answered all of the Riddler's riddles and yelled at Nightwing and Robin for their poor fashion choices and called Batman a furry when he tried to stop you."

Surprisingly Nathaniel is the one who answers instead of Alya as she pulls out her phone.

"We didn't even start the club! It was some people in Gotham who did. Max is the one who found out about it."

Sweet Marc, sweet sweet Marc never knowing when to stop before Marinette popped a blood vessel from blushing so hard.

"Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn, Cat Woman, The Riddler, the entire Batfamily (Batman included), and even some of the Waynes follow the accounts. Not to mention the other celebrities you've befriended like Mr. Stone and Ms. Nightingale."

Max reads off of his phone, seemingly proud of Marinette's followers.

"Even my mom follows you, Mari. That says something."

Chat looks up cackling as Marinette tries to suffocate herself with a pillow, Plagg rolling around on her hair as he clutches his stomach.

"Dang! Pigtails has some, what's it called? Clout! You're famous, kitten!"

Marinette whimpers from behind the pillow, her face practically radiating heat.

Chat snorts before turning back to the group.

"Number one I am well aware that Marinette is awesome and that I would be the luckiest man in the world to have her as my girlfriend. However, she's basically my little sister, same as Ladybug. Sorry to burst your bubble, Alya. Number two, she already has a boyfriend, has for a little over a year now, and he scares me. I am not testing if I really have nine lives cause he would take all of them. Number three, can you show me the 'QMC' accounts I want to follow them."

The room is silent as Marinette glares at Chat.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that? Princess? It's not like this is new informa-! They didn't know did they?"

Marinette reaches under her, pulling out a very nice-looking dagger from under the cushions of her chaise.

"Say goodbye to eight of your lives Chat. I need a new black fur hat."

Chat yelps scampering away from Marinette on all fours as she lunges for him with Plagg chasing after them laughing.

They keep running around the room until they pass Kim and he reaches out and grabs Marinette, trapping her in his arms.

"Okay, nice knife. Not sure where you got it nor do I want to know. Second of all, what's this about a boyfriend?"

Everyone surrounds her as Alix pulls the dagger from her hands putting it back under the cushions.

"Why haven't we heard of any boyfriend? Are you out of your mind?"

Alya's calm tone is very misleading as Chat hides behind her.

"He didn't want anyone to know just in case people claim for me to be a gold digger. Scratch that, I didn't want anyone to know so he didn't get sued for assault if anyone called me a gold digger and he found out."

Chat snorts.

"Yeah, you, definitely a gold digger. You know, since you didn't even realize who he was for the first 5 or 6 months of your relationship."

Marinette's glare does nothing as a blush covers her face.

"We don't speak of it Chat. I can and will still skin you."

Everyone looks at Marinette in shock.

"Okay, so all we know is that they are a he. He is rich enough to make people assume Marinette, Marinette of all people, is a gold digger and they are in a secret relationship. Who is it?"

Max looks up from his phone, where he is no doubt taking notes.

Marinette looks at the ground mumbling something that no one but Chat can make out thanks to his super hearing. He laughs and walks over to her phone unlocking it as Marinette finally answers.

"Damian Wayne."

Everyone looks at Marinette in a mix of shock and confusion before Chloe bursts out laughing.

"Only you Marinette. Only you would get over your crush on a millionaire heir to fall for a literal billionaire heir without even realizing it."

She breaks off into hysterical laughter as everyone turns to chat who is now on Marinette's computer connected to her phone as a facetime call takes place.

It answers on the second ring to someone who is most definitely NOT Damian Wayne.

"Hey Pixie Pop! Sorry, but I had to steal the phone from demon spawn. He was trying to kill me and Dick with a spoon and lunged for his phone as soon as it started ringing. Me and Dick were closer so we grabbed it and are now trying to find somewhere to hide so he doesn't actually kill us. Dick wanna say 'Hi'?"

Everyone hears a shout of 'sure' from someone out of the frame before the phone is passed over to someone who looks much like the first, except they are older and have no white streak in their hair.

"Hey, nettie! How's school?"

Chat smirks, covering Marinette's mouth as she tries to reply. A door slams shut as the two guys hunker in the near darkness, a lock clicking into place.

"School is great thanks for asking. Could be better but we are all getting by."

Two faces appear on screen looking a mix between worried and angry.

"I swear to god if you are holding Pixie Pop for ransom you will have the rage of all of Gotham fall upon you."

Chat just looks confused before remembering that he's wearing a mask and is holding Marinette's mouth shut.

"Oh! No, I'm not holding her hostage, we're friends. Chat Noir, Parisian superhero at your service. I just wanted to prank her boyfriend, she's having a sleepover and I was invited."

Their expressions immediately relax.

"Oh good. I was worried about what would happen when everyone else found out. Especially Damian."

Both boys shudder and smile as everyone else in the room comes into the frame.

One of them opens their mouth to speak before a loud bang comes from the door. Two equal looks of fear take over their faces.

A second later a loud bang fills the air as the door basically explodes open, high-pitched screams of terror fill the air before all is silent a new face filling to screen.

"Sorry Habibti, my brothers are imbeciles with death wishes. What do you need?"

"Wow, Habibti? I didn't know you felt that way about me Damian, or should I give you a pet name too?"

Chat's grin SCREAMS mischief, as Damian looks down an ice-cold glare in place.

"Let go of my girlfriend before I fly down there and skin you alive regardless of her wishes."

Everyone shivers at the pure venom in Damian's voice as Chat lets go holding his hands up in the air as he grins.

"Sorry, sorry. Letting go."

Marinette and Damian both glare at him before turning to each other, both looks immediately softening.

"Sorry, Shaytan. I'm having a sleepover and Chat outed our relationship and decided it would be funny to call you."

His smile is so gentle it shocks the rest of Marinette's friends.

"Don't worry, it's not your fault the Cat is a moron. I miss you. When do you think you can come back?"

Both of them choose to ignore Chats highly offended 'Hey!' as well as everyone else in the room with Marinette.

"That depends on when you want me there and when I can catch a flight."

Damian sits down at a table pulling a laptop to him as he sets up his phone so she can still see him.

"Well I want you here now, and I can have you a flight soon enough if I ask Father to get the family jet ready. If I work fast I can have you here by tomorrow morning, if not sooner."

Marinette looks shocked.

"You can't just ask your Father to get a plane ready just for me Damian!"

He glances back at the phone before going back to his computer.

"Why not? Everyone here loves you and if you're worried about the cost of it I can assure you a single minute of your time is worth far more than a measly plane ride."

Kim and Alya make cooing noises at the two from the sweetness of it all as Kagami steps up wrapping her arms protectively around her.

"Before you make any more trip plans you are going to tell me what you plan to do with Marinette in the future. I will not allow her to be some temporary girlfriend if you aren't serious about her."

Damian turns back to the phone looking past Marinette to acknowledge the others for the first time since the call started.

"I can assure you I don't want Marinette to be temporary. I plan to marry her and I truly couldn't care less if any of you have a problem with it."

Marinette's face invents a new shade of red as everyone coos over how cute that is. After getting over their initial shock of course.

"Habibti, do you want them to be able to come with you next time you come over? I can have father speak to their parents if they don't agree right away."

"Are you sure that would be okay?"

Marinette's timid voice makes Damian look away from his computer.

"Why wouldn't it be? If you don't want them to come with you then they don't have to, I know that you have some trouble with a few of your classmates. Seeing how late it is there I would have thought these were the ones who didn't turn on you or came back once they realized how idiotic they were to leave in the first place."

"Rude, but true."

Damian chooses to ignore Alya.

"No I would like for them to come, it could be fun! I'm just worried about space and where everyone would sleep."

Damian snorts.

"You have nothing to worry about, if you don't want them to stay in a hotel they can stay with us in the manor, there's plenty of space. And if there isn't enough space you can just sleep with me in my room."

He finishes off with a cheeky grin as Marinette sputters.

"You can't just say stuff like that Damian! It was bad enough that you said you planned to marry me, you don't need to add sharing a bed to the pile!"

Damian has the audacity to look confused.

"What do you mean? I never hid my plans to marry you nor my feelings, I don't get what the big deal is about sharing a bed anyway. It's not like Alfred would let us do anything and we wouldn't even have the chance with the circus monkeys I call brothers."

Several offended voices with 'I heard that!' 'Excuse me?' and 'You love us and you know it!'s all sound from his end.

Alix and Kim are basically collapsed onto each other as they wheeze at his bluntness.

Marinette sighs resting her head on her hands with a 'why do I even bother?' before looking up again.

"Fine, how is next weekend for everyone. I know Adrien will want to be included and I don't think he has anything going then. It will give me enough time to convince everyone's parents if need be and pack."

Everyone agrees and they end the call. Damian and Marinette saying their respective I love yous and Goodnight/Good mornings.

"I'm going to duel him."

"Kagami NO!"

Kagami looks Marinette dead in the eyes before smiling.

"Kagami yes."

[tinyboxxtink]

“Warrior”

Awwwwww SHIT. She cannot be stopped, folks. 

So I thought about making this an Epilogue to “Helpless”, but I MIGHT turn it into a sequel, if that’s something you guys want. I have so many ideas!!! 

Anyway, here is a “Helpless” SEQUEL ONE SHOT as of now. 

TBH I love it so much. I was listening to the song and I just couldn’t get this idea out of my head. OH RIGHT, if you haven’t heard Demi Lovato’s “Warrior”, listen to it now. And/or as you read this. I listened to it the entire time I wrote it. Hell I’m still listening to it. LOL.

“Please, Liv?” 

Barba was begging his best friend, on his knees in his own office. 

“This is ridiculous, Rafa. You’re a grown man. Stop begging,” 

“Then promise you’ll do it,” 

“I..wha...WHY do you need me to take your girlfriend out?”

“Look she just went through a traumatic event--” 

“Um it was pretty traumatic for me too, if you couldn’t tell,” 

“Right. I know...Liv, you know I love you,” He put a hand on her shoulder. “But she ALSO lost the one person in the world that she’s had for most of her life. She has no one now,” 

“She has you, obviously,” 

“Well yeah sure she has me, but I--I can’t be her whole world. She needs friends. And she doesn’t meet anyone because she had to quit her job at Fazzoli’s. So she’s just been my Personal Assistant for the past month until she can find something else, and she’s just…. around, ALL the time,” He explained the past month of your lives.

“Sounds like you’re getting sick of your little hustler,”  Liv chuckled. 

“DON’T, call her that.” Rafael warned her. 

“Why? It’s what she did,” Liv scoffed.

“Olivia...look,” Rafael rubbed his temples. “You are my best friend in the entire world, and I love you. But you have GOT to let this little...grudge against Y/N go,” 

“Grudge? What-- She--” Olivia protested, but Rafael cut her off.

“Whatever happened, it’s in the past. We’re putting it behind us, and so should you,” 

“Whatever….” Olivia rolled her eyes.

“If you want to keep being my best friend,” 

“Is that a threat?”

“It’s a plea, once again,” He took her hand. “If you truly love me, you will help me help her,”  He gave her those puppy dog eyes, the ones she could never resist, even if she wanted to. 

“Oh that is DIRTY, Barba,” She pushed him away with her hand over his face. 

“Again though, I don’t know what you want me to do. She obviously doesn’t think we’re going to be friends, and all of my friends are your friends-- also, they’re all adults,”

 “She’s an adult,”

“....Sure she is,”

“OLIVIA,”

“Okay okay, I just...Oh you know what, I could ask Lucy if her and her friends want to come,” She picked up her phone and flipped through it.

“See? You’re brilliant,” Rafael smiled.

“Whoa there counselor, I’m not sure how excited she is going to be to drag her friends out with her BOSS, her friends and your pet---girlfriend,”  She quickly corrected herself, but Barba heard it anyway. 

“You’re unbelievable,” He sighed. 

“Look I said I would ask her, I didn’t say it would be happy about it,”

“Alright, alright,” He nodded. “Thank you, Liv,”  he gave her a small hug then she turned to walk out. 

“Don’t make me regret this,” She eyed him. Just then, you came up behind her in the doorway.

 “Regret what?” 

 “Uh...my lunch plans, Rafael suggested a place I haven’t tried,” Olivia pushed her hair behind her ears nervously, looking everywhere around you but your eyes. Classic lying tells, but you really didn’t want to deal with her stuff right now so you left it alone.

“Oh, well have fun detective!” You gave her a cheery smile as she walked out of the office. You handed Rafael one of the two coffees you had brought in.

“Fuel for my baby,” You smiled, kissing him on the cheek. You could see the screaming behind his eyes when he smiled back at you. 

“...What?” you raised an eyebrow.

“What, what?” he asked, acting oblivious.

“Rafael, you know I know something is off,” 

“Wha… no, not--” he started but you gave him a knowing look. “You said you weren’t going to do that anymore, Y/N,” he was suddenly stern, referring to using your ‘superpower’. 

“And I told you, I can’t turn it off!” You reminded him, you had said it in your very first conversation. 

“Okay but you can...y’know pretend you don’t see things,” he pointed out.

“Or, you could just tell me why your eyes are screaming for help right now,” you crossed your arms.

“Wha--that--Good lord,” He sighed, taking a swig of his coffee. 

“I’m around too much, aren’t I?” You finally stated the obvious, tired of ignoring it anymore.

“No! No no no…” He put a hand to your face. Overly repetitive denial, meant yes. 

“I’m sorry, I can’t help it. I don’t have anywhere else to be,” You bit your lip and looked down at the floor. You hated being this helpless, relying on him for everything. Ever since he had left the hospital, you’d moved in with him and took care of him while his shoulder healed. And then when he went back to work, you told him you had to quit working at Fazzoli’s because it was just too hard to go there every day after everything that had transpired there. You really had tried, but you just kept having flashbacks or panic attacks that Arianna would come walking through the door and take you away again. 

Rafael was totally understanding, as usual. He told you that you could be his Assistant for the time being, which really just meant you followed him around all day like a puppy. And he was paying you with his salary, so he was basically just giving you money. You hated it; you were used to being completely independent-- sort of. 

Sure Arianna ‘protected’ you, but it wasn’t like you were a baby bird. You had been through so many horrific things in your short life, all on your own. You knew how to survive in the mean streets of NYC, making your own money. You were like a bulldog, and now you were a lap dog. 

“Hey,” Rafael picked your head up back to face him. “I know. I’m not blaming you for anything,” 

“But you are sick of me,” 

“I just...I think you need more people in your life, that’s all,” he stroked your hair.

“Yeah, I know,” you shrugged.

He was right, but you weren’t used to having more than one person looking out for you, or vice versa. You didn’t really know what it was like to have a normal friend, and your serious trust issues really didn’t help the situation. Rafael had tried to get you to go to therapy to work through your “issues”, but you didn’t trust your therapist, which made the whole thing moot. 

“...Wait, so what were you actually talking about with Liv?” 

“She told you, I was--” 

“Can we not do this again,” You rolled your eyes. 

“....Alright fair enough,” He sighed, giving up. “I asked Olivia if she knew of any girls that might want to ‘hang out’ with you,” 

“Oh my god, Rafa!” You were humiliated. 

“God now I’m like that weird kid in class who eats paste, and her parents have to to talk to the teacher who makes the other kids be her friend,” 

“....That’s a weirdly specific scenario,” he raised an eyebrow.

“...Yeah, well-- not my first time,” You shrugged sadly.

“Aw honey,” He half laughed, taking your into his arms and kissing your forehead. “I would’ve been your friend, no matter what you ate,” 

“Yeah well considering you were probably in high school when I was in elementary, I doubt it,” You smirked.

“Ooof, below the belt,” He put both hands over his crotch with a pained expression.

“I’m sorry,” you stuck your tongue out with a smile. “But you kinda deserve it, trying to beg people to be my friend,” 

“I didn’t BEG…” He started, but saw that look in your eyes. “Okay but it worked,” He came clean. 

“Oh Olivia and I are gonna have a girls night? Are we gonna braid each other’s hair and talk about boys we like? OH WAIT,” You made sarcastic gestures. “We like the same boy!” You rolled your eyes. 

“I mean, I can’t blame you. He’s pretty awesome,” He smirked.

“And so not full of himself,” You pulled on his collar towards you.

“Not at all,” He kept smirking, as he placed his lips over yours. 

Just then Barba’s phone vibrated-- a text from Liv. 

 “KARAOKE NIGHT. TONIGHT. 8PM,” 

 “Uh….well, I guess you might be right?” He showed his phone. It vibrated again, another text came in as your were reading it.

 “LUCY AND FRIENDS, YOU BETTER BE THERE TOO. I’M NOT A BABYSITTER,” 

 “Well, she is just lovely,” you handed it back to him with a roll of your eyes. 

“Hey, at least she’s trying,” he texted a reply to Liv.

 “Can you try as well? Please?”  He asked you while looking at you with the same puppy dog eyes, Liv wasn’t the only one who couldn’t resist them.

“Fine…” you sighed, and he rewarded you with a kiss.

“I need something to wear,” You batted your eyes, to which he rolled his own and pulled out his credit card. 

“See? I’m leaving you alone, it’s working already!” You giggled, walking out of the office to go shopping.

------

That night, you and Rafael showed up to a place called TOP5.. It was a fun, trendy hipster  restaurant. There were several booths, some tables, even a few couches for people to chill. And in front of everything was a huge stage, with a piano next to it. But there was also a DJ, spinning records. 

Rafael noticed Olivia waving to him; he lead you to a giant half booth half table where Olivia, Rollins, Fin, Carisi, and four young girls you had never met before sat with drinks in their hands. 

“How did you get these guys out?” Rafael gestured to the squad.

“I asked them nicely,” She smiled.

“Yeah, if ‘nice’ means  it was either this or catching up on paperwork all night,” Fin rolled his eyes. 

“This is Lucy, my nanny,” Olivia pointed the young girl next to her, who gave a small wave. 

“And these are my friends Riley, Lexi and Brianne,” Lucy pointed to each of her friends, who also did a wave as they heard their name. 

“Rafael Barba,”  he nodded to the girls. “And this is my--”

“Y/N,” You interjected, introducing yourself. You were determined NOT to just be “Rafael’s Girlfriend” anymore. 

“So we were looking through some songs, I don’t think anyone’s brave enough to go up there though,” Lexi informed you, gesturing to a huge black binder in front of her and her friends.

“More like not drunk enough,” Lucy laughed.

“Hey we can fix that!” Brianne giggled, calling for shots from the bar.

“Great idea Barba, it’s like we’re chaperoning,” Amanda whispered to Rafael, who rolled his eyes and nodded to a waiter for a scotch. 

“May I?” You asked Riley, sliding the book in front of you. You flipped through a binder, until a song stood out to you. It was like it was screaming to you from the page.

You had heard so many “therapeutic” mantras over the past month, people trying help you get over your trauma. Talk it out, they said. You need to get it out. 

Well, this was one way. 

You excused yourself and walked up to the DJ, whispered something to which he nodded, and went to the mic. 

“Alright alright, looks like we have our first vict--I mean, superstar!” He joked. You seriously thought about punching him in the face for using “victim” as a joke, but you knew that was the trauma talking. And you were to fix that, not indulge it.

 The music started, and you just let the words spill out:

This is a story that I have never told

I gotta get this off my chest to let it go

I need to take back the light inside you stole

You're a criminal

And you steal like you're a pro

All the pain and the truth

I wear like a battle wound

So ashamed, so confused

I was broken and bruised

Thoughts of you and Arianna’s life together ran through your mind like a movie montage as you sang. The words were so scary accurate.

Now I'm a warrior

Now I've got thicker skin

I'm a warrior

I'm stronger than I've ever been

And my armor, is made of steel, you can't get in

I'm a warrior

And you can never hurt me again

 That first chorus felt like you were letting out a huge breath you had been holding in for God knows how long. You wanted Olivia, Rafel, the squad...EVERYONE to know, that you weren’t this helpless little lamb they had seen for the past month.

 Out of the ashes, burning like a fire

You can save your apologies

You're nothing but a liar

I've got shame, I've got scars

But I will never show

I'm a survivor

In more ways than you know

'Cause all the pain and the truth

I wear like a battle wound

So ashamed, so confused

I'm not broken and bruised

 Now the flashbacks of the real trauma you had been through came pulsing through your mind. Horrors that still kept you up at night; you’d have night terrors sometimes but had hidden them from Rafael so far. He didn’t need to know just how fucked up you truly were. None of it mattered now anyway, you were a survivor. And you had the scars to prove it.

 'Cause now I'm a warrior

Now I've got thicker skin

I'm a warrior

I'm stronger than I've ever been

And my armor, is made of steel, you can't get in

I'm a warrior

And you can never hurt me

 There's a part of me I can't get back

A little girl grew up too fast

All it took was once, I'll never be the same

Now I'm taking back my life today

Nothing left that you can say

'Cause you were never gonna take the blame anyway

 You thought of everything Arianna had taken from you. Sure your childhood was shit, but you were fairly young when she convinced you to run away with her. You could have stayed in your small town, found a decent job. Lived a normal life, with normal friends. But she sucked you into your life of crime and deceit, all while telling you it was perfectly fine, and that she loved you. But it was all bullshit, all of it. You saw that now. And now if she ever came back into your life and tried to convince you of anything, you wouldn’t fall back into her lies.

You took a breath before the last chorus, suddenly feeling your face getting wet. You realized you had started crying while you were singing, but for some reason you weren’t ashamed of it. It actually made you feel stronger, like letting your tears wash the pain and shame from yourself.

 Now I'm a warrior

I've got thicker skin

Now I'm a warrior

I'm stronger than I've ever been

And my armor, is made of steel, you can't get in

I'm a warrior

And you can never hurt me again

You finished the song in a whisper as your head dropped to looking at the floor. You were exhausted from the mental journey that song had taken you on. You had never felt so...free. Before you could even look up, the room erupted in applause. 

You lifted your head to see everyone in the room giving you a standing ovation...even Olivia, who you could swear had tears in her eyes. 

You gave a sheepish smile and a curtsy, quickly getting off the stage and returning to your booth, where not a face was dry. 

“...Aww, guys...,” You didn’t know what to say; you had never been that open and vulnerable to ANYONE before, and here you had gone and ripped your soul open in front of a group of strangers.

“That was--” 

Olivia came around and hugged you, a genuine hug. It lasted uncomfortably long, so you had to break it with a confused smile. 

“I’m sorry I judged you,” She apologized, and you saw the absolute sincerity and guilt written all over her face.

“It’s fine, if I were you I would’ve judged me too,” you gave her an understanding smile.

She nodded, giving Rafael an apologetic look as well, to which he took her hand and pulled her into a hug. 

“So, who’s next?!” You smiled, pushing the binder to the middle of the table. Protests and laughs began at the table, bickering about who was drunk enough to follow you. 

Rafael leaned over to you, whispering in your ear over the noise of the crowd.

“You’re the bravest warrior I know, Y/N” He wiped tears from his eyes, kissing your cheek.

“Yes. Yes, I am,” you smiled, wiping the rest of his tears as you kissed him. 

And for the first time maybe ever, you believed it.

[mojofun]

Caution - Keep out of children's reach. Yes Sirius, you too (Sirius x Reader)

Hello everyone. This is an entry for a writing challenge I’m taking part in, launched by the awesome @approved-by-dentists​ for reaching 400 followers; congratulations again :) The prompts I chose were <<So you’re telling me you read the instructions and still managed to get this result?>><<I did! Okay, I tried… Well, I tried to want to?>> and <<How on Earth did I ever get so lucky to be loved by you?>>

It’s a piece of fluff set in absurd situation and it came to me after a rather disastrous trip to IKEA (I’m still laughing). Anyway, enough with the chatter. I hope you enjoy it!

Gif not mine, credits to @snuffles-padfoot07​

<<Shit, Y/N’s home, Y/N’s home!>>

Alarmed whispers and jarring sounds of moving furniture were what welcomed the H/C-haired girl in the apartment she shared with her boyfriend, and occasionally -much more often than one might think- his best friend.

Suspicious, to say the least.

The young woman took a deep breath, mentally preparing herself for whatever could be waiting for her in the house. Her preparation should have been a little more physical, however, as all the years she’d spent with her other half should have taught her.

Maybe she decided to have some faith in him, even just a little…

That trust resulted in her almost face-planting against the floor after tripping over something. Luckily, two strong arms caught her before severe injures occurred

<<Y/N! Are you ok?>>

She tilted her head upward, meeting the young man’s steely grey eyes, filled with concern. 

Well, at least for that she could count on him.

The thought brought a smile to her face, but it was quickly wiped off her face when she took in the state of the room

<<What the hell, Sirius?>>

Cardboard boxes, sellotape shreds, bolts and screws littered the floor, along with some tools like hammers and… Was that a saw?

Parts of what she guessed were supposed to be chairs and a couch completed the mix. All in all, it looked like a jenga game gone wrong.

The sheepish twenty-something wizard awkwardly scratched the nape of his neck, avoiding her gaze

<<Well, you see…>>

<<Yes, I do see! The living room is a mess! Did a bomb explode in here or something?>>

In the corner James was crouching out of sight behind what should have been the back piece of the sofa

<<No, wait; a bomb would have caused less damage than you two>>

<<I’m sorry! We needed new chairs after the, uhm… Accident>>

Y/N crossed her arms, pinning him with a glare

<<Oh, you’re talking about the time you got drunk, changed into Padfoot and chewed all the legs off the furniture?>>

He gulped guiltily, still not looking at her.

Merlin knows what would have happened if Remus had not intervened to restrain him

<<Uh, yeah>>

<<And?>>

<<We went to that strange stores muggles call I… I…>>

<<I… What?>>

<<Wait, it’s on the tip of my tongue…>>

<<Su->>

<<Prongs, what the hell was it called?>>

<<I… Ig… Ice…>>

<<Are you two talking about IKEA?>>

<<YES!>> The two Marauders exclaimed in unison <<How did you know?>>

<<I’m a muggle born, remember?>>

Sirius smirked

<<Darling, how could I ever forget? My parents’ reaction when they found out I’m dating you will be forever burned in my mind>>

It was Y/N’s turn to grin at the prospect of stumping her significant other

<<Really now? Is that the only reason you are dating me, Sirius?>>

He rushed to her side, taking her hands in his and spewing reassurances so fast that she had trouble understanding him

<<No, of course not. I love you, your beauty, your sense of humor, your intelligence, your kindness…>>

Sirius was a little flustered; Y/N giggled

<<Are you done, darling?>>

<<Uhm, yeah>>

<<Good. Now, shall we take care of this mayhem together?>>

Both boys nodded fervently, making the female chuckle

<<Awesome. Will one of you hand me the instructions sheets, please?>>

That simple question was enough to make them freeze like two criminals caught red-handed

<<I’m scared of asking, but I’ll take the chance… What happened to those papers?>>

Her boyfriend looked like the statues outside the Hogwarts castle; his best friend hesitantly lifted his hand, pouting at a pile of scraps in the corner

<<What the hell?>>

Y/N suddenly had the feeling that she would be repeating that sentence a lot more during this absurd conversation

<<Well, you see…>>

<<No, this time I do not see! Why would you do that?>>

<<What makes you think it was me?>>

The young witch cocked an eyebrow, crossing her arms with a snort

<<Please: I’ve seen you in action as Padfoot>>

<<Alright… I may have chewed them out of frustration>>

<<Very mature>>

<<They were unintelligible! I was going crazy! I mean, look at this chair!>> He exploded, pointing at the piece of furniture by her side.

At first Y/N merely glanced at it, not finding anything out of the ordinary. Then, she froze; her brain refused to elaborate what she saw, so she slowly turned around again and came face to face with… An unusual sight, to put it nicely

<<What the hell?>>

Yes, the feeling was right

<<What is this? It looks like something out of a modern art museum!>>

In spite of themselves Sirius and James laughed, unable to hold back. Her glare brought them back in line though

<<Would one of you care to tell me why this damn chair has eight legs?>>

<<The drawings->>

<<Wait wait wait wait wait>> She held up a hand, trying to prepare herself again <<So you’re telling me you read the instructions->>

<<We read them!>> 

<<And still managed to get this result?>>

<<I did!>>

For the second time Y/N pinned him with a  harsh glare, making him squirm uncomfortably

<<Okay, I tried…>>

Her scowl worsened

<<Well, I tried to want to?>>

In the corner, James was still hiding behind the back piece of the couch.

The woman let out a long, frustrated sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose

<<I can’t believe you two…>>

<<Hey, did you expect us to understand Swedish?>>

<<The English version is written on the back, you idiots!>>

<<Oh>> They gaped

<<Don’t “oh” me>> The exasperated female scolded, taking in again the chaos the living room had been reduced to

<<There better be no more surprises in the house>>

<<Well, we were thinking of tackling the bed, but->>

<<No!>> She hastened to stop them <<You know what? Why don’t you two go buy groceries or something and I’ll deal with this… Octopus chair and the rest of your bedlam>>

At that, the other guy immediately ran out of the house, leaving his best mate to face his unnerved girlfriend. He just gave her an enormous smile and pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her

<<How on Earth did I ever get so lucky to be loved by you?>>

<<The real question is, what did I ever do to deserve you?>> She mumbled in his chest, making him cackle

<<You lucked out, darling>>

<<It wasn’t a compliment, you dumbass>>

The coal-haired wizard let out a belly laugh, pecking her on the forehead

<<I don’t care what you did, but I am grateful you did it; my life wouldn’t be even half as wonderful without you in it>>

The S/C-skinned witch raised her face to look him in the eyes, smiling sweetly

<<You managed to placate my fury, but it’s not gonna last long, so I suggest you apparate as far away as you can while I can still keep my killing instincts at bay>>

<<Roger that, my love. I’ll see you later!>>

With that, he was gone.

Y/N chortled, shaking her head in amusement

<<Whatever it is I did, Sirius, I am immensely grateful I did it too…>>

She pulled out her wand and got to work.

A couple of hours later the house looked fit to live in again. All pieces of furniture had the correct number of legs and there was no litter on the floor; it was spic and span.

That was the sight that greeted Sirius when he decided to go back home. It made him smile as he headed to their shared bedroom.

There, he found his girlfriend lying on the bed, taking a rest after working out the mess he’d made. To make up for it he’d bought her a bunch of F/F and a plushie

<<Y/N?>>

<<Mh…>>

<<Darling, could you wake up a moment?>>

Her eyes fluttered open and she sat up, stretching and yawning

<<What is it? What did you do now?>>

Chuckling, the young man revealed his surprise

<<Well, I wanted to give you something to thank you for being so wonderful to me and tolerating all the trouble I stir>>

The smile she gave him made him melt. She accepted the flowers but, before she could move a muscle, he put them in a vase that was somehow already on the bedside table.

The plushie made her giggle

<<Dear, it’s ok. You are a wonderful boyfriend, you just suck at putting together furniture.

You really need to learn, though>>

He furrowed in confusion

<<Why? We don’t need anything else from I… Ic… Ig…>>

<<IKEA, Sirius, and yes, we do need one more thing>> She informed him with another yawn, getting back under the covers

<<What would it be, my dear?>>

<<A crib>> She murmured.

Four letters.

That was all it took for a wizard who’d faced countless Death-eaters to freeze on the spot

<<A c- A cri- Y/N?! Are you->>

A teddy to the face was his answer

<<Yes, yes I am. Now let me sleep>>

The H/C-haired witch did not see the tears pooling in her boyfriend’s eyes, nor the humongous smile stretching his lips.

He lay down beside her and slowly, cautiously, rested his hand on her abdomen

<<How on Earth did I ever get so lucky to be loved by you?>>

That was the last thing he said before succumbing to sleep.

Sirius did not see her smile either, but he did feel her squeezing his hand.

He was looking forward to their next trip to Ic- Ih- whatever the hell that store was called.

[im-abanana]

@geekgirles The Rock!Branch AU is my drug now, and I shall never stop loving it. 

And thanks to the awesome post @tipolover22 sent us (thank you again, dear!), the one about Rock!Branch’s electric guitar, could I pass the opportunity to write some Broppy fluff?

Absolutely not.

---------------------------------------------

As he sighed dramatically for the umpteenth time that morning, Branch resolved to give his poor lungs much more credit from that day forward. “Poppy, for the last time, could you please take this blindfold off my eyes? I am not a little trolling anymore, and you know how much I hate surprises…”

The Rock Troll perceived the warmth of her exasperated huff on the back of his disheveled nape hair, and he was fairly sure the Pop Queen was rolling those beautiful magenta orbs of hers. “Are all Rock Trolls so whiny and insufferable, or is it just you?” she inquired, her voice saturated with both mirth and impatience. “Come on tough boy, bear with me a tiny bit longer. We’re almost there, I promise!”

“I’m gonna bear with you for the rest of my life,” his hopelessly romantic-self wanted to say, but Branch bit his tongue to preserve some of his already stolen dignity. If anyone saw him, the Rock Trolls’ second in command, like this— wrapped up like some sort of birthday-boy! Yup, it was definitely not the proper time for silly poems and sentimentalism. 

“You’re lucky I love you,” he grumbled at last, because he couldn’t help but remind her again, and again, and again.

Imagine being that weak for a colorful, crazy, scrapbook-loving Pop Troll.

The young Queen’s carefree chuckle filled the air like a melody, and when Branch felt her lips peppering his left cheek with light kisses, his knees got all wobbly. 

“I know I am,” Poppy chirped sweetly, as if she really meant it, as if she truly believed she was the lucky one. 

Oh, nothing could be further from the truth!

The Queen’s petite fingers suddenly squeezed his biceps, making the Rock Troll stop in his wavering tracks. “Ok, here we are! Are you ready for your surprise, Branch?” she asked, definitely more excited than he was.

Pop Trolls loved to torture their mates, that had to be it. But then again, how could he deny her anything? He let out a last, defeated sigh and then nodded. “Please, don’t let it be glitter, don’t let it get on your face Branch, you’re still recovering from a bad case of cataract from last time…”

The moment Poppy freed him from the blindfold, the sudden sunlight struck his light blue eyes, forcing him to rub them with the back of his tattooed hands to help them adjust. And when they finally did, Branch found himself staring at a rather large, black box tied with a grey ribbon.

Black? No glitter? No rainbows, cupcakes or unicorns? Very uncharacteristic of her…

“What is it, Poppy?” the Captain wondered aloud, staring back and forth between the mysterious dull box and his girlfriend’s anticipating face.

“It’s, uh… just a present, really. For you,” Poppy lowered her gaze nervously, very shy all of the sudden. Her foot drew small circles in the soft grass underneath them. “Go on, open it! I— I just hope you’ll like it. I mean, I’m a Pop Troll and I still don’t know much about Rock Trolls’ taste, but…”

Branch’s hearth clenched tightly in the middle of his chest, pouring and pumping a rush of pure adoration in his bloodstream until he thought he could overflow with it; she seemed so vulnerable, so tense, so preoccupied. It was obvious that she was hoping she’d made the right choice. 

Most importantly, she was hoping she could make him happy.

Ok, he definitely didn’t deserve her. What did he— a grumpy, short-tempered and overly-tattooed rocker —do to deserve such a selfless angel?

Cupping her freckly cheeks with his callous palms, the Rock Trolls’ Captain gently spurred the Queen to lift her head up. “Poppy, listen to me,” he cooed, surprised by the tenderness of his own voice. “whatever it is, I’m sure I’m gonna love it. But you didn’t need to buy me a gift, really. I got everything I want here, right in front of me. What more could I possibly ask for?”

And who needed the sun, when her smile could shine so bright? Just as he didn’t need stars to wish upon, when an entire galaxy seemed to be sparkling in her eyes. 

“Aww Branch, you’re such a flatterer,” the pink Queen gasped, sincerely touched by his kind words, all of her concern replaced by a renewed excitement. “But enough of the mushy stuff and flatteries now, unwrap your present already! I still have my class to teach to, you know. I bet Wani and her friends are done babysitting, and I can’t exactly ask Tresillo and his mates either. Since their three eggs hatched, the Reggaeton Trolls’ are parenting 24/7!”

“Alright Pops, don’t worry. I’m opening the gift right now,” he assured, carefully grabbing the box and starting to gently pull the ribbon.

He’d be lying if he said that he wasn’t at least a tiny bit curious. The Rock Troll didn’t exactly know what to expect; would it be a scrapbook? A lifetime supply of cupcakes? An explosion of multicolored glitter? Or maybe a— oh.

OH.

The last thing Branch expected to receive as a gift from the Queen of Pop was the sickest, awesomest electric guitar he’d ever seen in his entire life.

It was completely black, with a rough surface covered with different kinds of skulls. The biggest one was embedded in the lower left part of the guitar, just below the bridge, with fang-like bones making up for its missing mandible and going all the way to the lower right side. A small and complete skeleton— a critter he couldn’t fully recognize —was unnaturally splayed on the central part, between the pickups. And finally, skillfully attached to the strap pegs, there were two small mink’s skulls.

Whoa, just— whoa.

Branch was still gaping like a dead fish when Poppy’s voice tentatively broke through his astonishment and stupor. “So… do you like it?” she asked, not exactly able to interpret his kinda amusing expression. “I know how much you adore skulls, so I had this guitar made just for you. Well actually, truth to be told, it was Barb who recommended me this pretty talented luthier and—”

“Like it?” the Captain incredulously blurted out, struggling to avert his eyes from that absolute masterpiece. “Poppy, are you serious!? This is— oh my Rock, this is the coolest guitar I’ve ever seen! I don’t even know what to say, thank you! Thank you so much!” 

At this point, Branch could no longer restrain himself; he grabbed his beautiful girlfriend by the hips and lifted her up, playfully swinging her in the air like a crazy teenager. And the overjoyed laugh she regarded him with… damn, he could’ve spent forever listening to that beautiful laugh.

“Now that you gifted me such an amazing instrument,” the Rock Troll grinned smugly, the menacing sharpness of his fangs in cosmic disharmony with the soft kiss he placed on Poppy’s nose. “I hope you’re ready to be spoiled and serenaded all night long, my Queen.”

“You know I am. Do I get to choose one song?” the Queen of Pop excitedly asked, fluttering her long eyelids the way— she knew, that tiny torment —it made him absolutely crazy. “Or maybe two, pretty please?”

And again, how could he deny her anything? 

With a smile so warm and so big it could split his face in half, Branch started to mentally rehears the notes of those songs, their songs. 

“‘Perfect for Me’ and ‘True Colors’ it is, I suppose?”

[thearvariblues]

The Bard And The Wolf - Chapter Five

(AKA Geraskier in the Metal Band AU you didn’t know you needed)

AKA me desperately trying to catch up my Tumblr with what’s already been posted to AO3. ;) 

The masterpost for this fic can be found HERE.

5 – No Firstborns Needed

Even though the food Geralt had brought him certainly helped, it still took Jaskier a significant amount of time to recover from the hangover. He had to admit it to himself – he wasn’t getting any younger. There used to be times when he would drink all night and be completely alright in the morning…

Nah, that was a lie. His hangovers always used to be hell, but this was worse than ever.

He was mostly alright, though, when his phone rang in the afternoon.

He answered it without even looking at the screen.

“I’m listening,” he said.

“Uhm. Erm. Hi,” a girl’s voice replied. “This is… This is Ciri.”

“Ciri!” Jaskier beamed. “How are you? I was gonna call you, I swear, I wanted to thank you for sharing the video, and also for not telling on me to your dad… Oh, no, I mean, I probably shouldn’t be thanking you for lying to your father...”

“Didn’t lie to him. Just didn’t tell him,” Ciri said.

“That’s not making it any better,” Jaskier murmured. “Anyway! You were calling me for a reason, I guess?”

“Yeah, yeah. I just wanted to ask… Well, since you’re definitely staying, because the fans really love you, I… I mean… Would you like to go shopping with me?”

“Shopping?” Jaskier blinked. “Oh, you mean for some clothes to fit my new metal singer image?”

“Yes. I know all the good places. Mom takes me with her all the time. I know where they have the best T-shirts and pants and–”

“Yeah, sure, I’d love to go! Wait… Does your father know about it?”

“Does he have to?”

“Well, I’d like to stay alive, so yes, he kind of does.”

“Right. So I’ll… ask him and then call you back?”

“Perfect,” Jaskier smiled. “And what about Renfri? Is she coming too?”

“She said she’d rather cut off her right hand with a pocket knife.”

“I’ll take that as a no.”

“That’s definitely a no. Right, I’m gonna go and ask dad. Might take a few minutes, though. He’s working, and when he’s working, it takes him a while to start focusing on anything else.”

“That’ fine. Yeah. Right. See you soon. Well, hear you soon.”

“Bye, Jaskier.”

*

Geralt didn’t mind Ciri going with Jaskier. He even called Jaskier himself to tell him that. (And also to tell him that Ciri is allowed to buy something, too, within reason, and that he would give her his credit card, in case she wanted something she couldn’t afford to buy with her pocket money… Jaskier couldn’t help but think it was incredibly cute.)

So Jaskier went shopping with Ciri.

Two hours later, he had five large bags of clothes and his credit card was weeping silently in his wallet. Oh, dear, he would have to take some new students. At least two. Maybe even three. He didn’t want to, but he would have to.

Who’d have thought black clothes were so damn expensive?! (Except he absolutely didn’t buy only black clothes, quite the opposite, in fact.)

Right, right. So it might not have been absolutely necessary to buy those black leather pants and that leather jacket… But Jaskier had wanted a real leather jacket for a while, okay?

“So, am I now officially ready to take my place in the band?” he asked Ciri. He’d dropped the bags off at his flat and he and the girl were currently walking to Kaer Morhen’s rehearsal. Ciri was carrying a little bag with a black-and-purple striped dress that Jaskier wasn’t sure Geralt would approve of, but Jaskier definitely approved. It looked so good on the girl. It was stylish, but not revealing, a perfect dress for a kid her age…

“You’re more than ready,” Ciri said. “You look great.”

Oh, yes, so Jaskier had definitely found the time to change while he was at home. He was now wearing tight black pants, a dark purple T-shirt and a black brocade vest that, he had to admit, did wonders for his figure. His waist looked slimmer, his shoulders broader… Yeah, he looked great as hell.

“All thanks to you, mylady,” he grinned.

“Hush. You chose most of the clothes yourself. You just needed someone who would make you actually buy them. Like the coat.”

Oh, yes, the coat. The coat that was currently spread on his bed. The coat that had already managed to become one of Jaskier’s most prized possessions.

The beautiful, steel blue, double breasted, clearly Victorian era-inspired thing cost more than half of Jaskier’s monthly income, and it was love at first sight. He tried to be be strong, tried to resist, tried to remind himself that he was saving money so he could buy his own flat instead of renting it… But then Ciri saw him drooling at the coat and said: “Oh my God, you have to try it on!”

And so he did. And he was lost.

“It’s not exactly… what a metal singer should wear, is it? I mean, the color is so… light? Too light,” he had tried to protest, stroking the fabric lovingly.

“Don’t be silly. Female singers wear light colors all the time. Even mum did!”

“Mum?”

“Yennefer? Hello?”

“Yeah. Of course. Of course. Way to win the fans’ hearts, by pretending to be her.”

“Nobody’s gonna think you’re her, stupid. Buy it. I bet dad’s gonna love it. It’s one of his favorite colors.”

“I’ve never seen him wear anything but black.”

“I didn’t say his favorite to wear. He just… likes it.”

And it shouldn’t have been the last impulse Jaskier needed to buy the fucking thing, but it kind of was.

“I still think you should have bought the golden jacket, too.”

“Sorry, sweetie, but even the coat was a bit too much. The jacket? I could never afford that.”

That beautiful, gorgeous, amazing golden jacket with V-shaped stripes on the front. Oh, yes, he would kill for that beauty, but he wasn’t ready to eat dry rice for the next two months.

“Too bad. You looked beautiful in it.”

“I know, Ciri, I know,” Jaskier sighed.

They were nearly at the door. Nearly at the rehearsal room. But then Jaskier heard fast footsteps behind them and he (stupid, stupid, stupid!) decided to turn his head.

“Oh, hello,” said a voice Jaskier never wanted to hear again. “If it isn’t the useless wannabe singer! And who’s that? She’s a little too young to be your girlfriend, isn’t she?”

“Who the hell is he?” Ciri muttered.

“Valdo Marx,” Jaskier growled. “What do you want?”

“Oh, nothing. I just wanted to say hello!” Valdo grinned a crooked grin. “I saw your video. Man, I’ve never seen something so ridiculous. Have you been kicked out, yet? You’d deserve to be kicked out for that shit!”

“Since there was no bitch around who would be horny for my place in the band… Nope, still in, sorry.”

“And what about that terrible song?” Valdo continued, as if Jaskier didn’t say anything. “Toss a coin to your whatever. I’m not surprised Dandelions had to get rid of you! Ugh, appalling.”

“Excuse me?!” Ciri exclaimed and took a step in Valdo’s direction.

“Ciri. No. He’s not worth it,” Jaskier said, stopping her. “Valdo. May I introduce you to Cirilla, Geralt’s daughter and a former fan of Dandelions, now a devoted fan of Kaer Morhen?”

“And a fan of Jaskier,” Ciri added.

“Geralt? As in the singer of Kaer Morhen?” Valdo snorted. “Oh, dear. You really did suck his cock, didn’t you? Since he’s borrowed you his daughter. Has he fucked you yet? You’ve always said he was a moron, I’m sure you’re really desperate for him to fuck you.”

Jaskier’s eyes went wide, and this time he took a step towards the man.

“What did you say you bitch?!” he growled.

A hand grabbed his shoulder from behind.

Jaskier turned, kind of expecting to see Geralt there, but no. It was Lambert, a smirk on his lips and murder in his eyes.

“Relax, sweetie,” he said. “I’ll take care of it.”

“And you are?” Valdo asked.

“Lambert. Funny you don’t remember me, because you spent weeks trying to get in my pants when you wanted to sleep your way into Kaer Morhen. I ruined it for you by being so annoyingly and boringly heterosexual. Don’t worry, though, even if I was gay, you’d stand no chance.”

“Burn, baby, burn,” Jaskier smirked.

“Now, Valdo,” Lambert continued, his smirk growing a little wider. “My friend Jaskier here might be ready to cut your throat, but I would never let him.”

“Thank… you?” Valdo blinked.

“And if Geralt heard you were mean to his beloved daughter, well… He’s a calm man, I mean, he tries to be. But I don’t think he would remain calm if he heard. You know what they say, demons run when a good man goes to war.”

“Hey. I understood that reference!” Jaskier blinked.

“Shush. I’m in the middle of threatening here,” Lambert said. “Valdo. Valdo, Valdo, Valdo. Trust me. You wouldn’t like what would happen if Geralt heard about this.”

Valdo visibly paled.

“He… he doesn’t need to know, does he?”

“No, no, of course not,” Lambert nodded. “But then again… There’s still me.”

“You?”

“Me,” Lambert grinned. “My dear Valdo. There’s one thing you need to understand about me. I am not a calm man, I am not a good man, but I am also not someone who would just simply cut your throat. No. If you show your ugly face near our rehearsal room again, I am going to rip off your cock, fuck you with it, and then use it to gag you while I cut you open and remove your organs in alphabetical order. Are we clear?”

Valdo’s face was completely void of blood now. All the guy was able to do was a single short nod.

“Good. I’m glad for that,” Lambert said. “Why are you still here, then?”

With all the dignity he had left (which was, well… none), Valdo Marx turned and power-walked away without another word.

“Wow. That was awesome!” Ciri beamed.

“I had it,” Jaskier growled, looking at Lambert.

“I know. You were absolutely ready to cut his throat. Or… throttle him,” Lambert shrugged. “But Geralt doesn’t like that. He always tells me, use your words first, there’s still time for stabbing later. So I do it. I threaten, and then, if it doesn’t help, I stab.”

“And do you… stab a lot?” Jaskier asked, fearing the answer.

“Nah,” Lambert grinned. “But fist fights and bar brawls, well… Those do tend to happen.”

“That’s a relief.”

“I bet. Everything alright, Ciri?”

“Absolutely,” the girl nodded.

“Now, Jaskier. Saw your video. Did you seriously call me a dick?”

“Well,” Jaskier smirked. “You are kind of a dick.”

“Guilty as charged,” Lambert grinned. “Let’s go in. Eskel hates it when we’re late.”

*

They weren’t late, but someone else was. Twenty minutes late, to be more precise. And that someone was Geralt.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he said in reply to Eskel’s disapproving glance, closing the door behind him. “I was working, forgot time existed.”

“So… as usual?” Renfri smirked.

“Hush, Renfri,” Geralt glared. “It only happens once a month.”

“More like once a week,” Renfri replied.

“Thrice,” Ciri said.

“Did I ask for your opinions?” Geralt growled.

“I’m… I’m sorry,” Jaskier peeped, raising his hand. “I don’t wanna sound like an idiot, really, but… What is it that you do? I mean… your job?”

“Oh, dad’s a blacksmith, and a jeweler!” Ciri announced. “He makes those cool iron monsters and wrought iron fences and amazing rings and necklaces and earrings. Look, he made me this!”

She showed Jaskier her necklace – a beautiful swallow made of silver.

“It’s lovely,” Jaskier smiled. “Wow. Really… Wow. Geralt, what do you want for making a cool necklace for me, too? I’m kind of broke now, I have to admit, but I could offer you my firstborn, if you wanted.”

“I’m kind of glad you asked,” Geralt said. “Because that’s precisely the work I got so lost in.”

“Excuse me?”

Geralt reached into his jacket pocket and took out a pendant on a silver chain.

“I made this pendant for every member of the band. A common symbol, you might call it. A white wolf. Well, a silver wolf, really.”

“Like in the logo of Kaer Morhen? Seriously?” Jaskier blinked.

“Seriously,” Geralt smiled. “And this one is yours.”

“Mine?!”

“You are the member of the band, aren’t you?” Geralt said, raising his eyebrow. “Consider this a welcome gift. No firstborns needed.”

Jaskier raised his hand to gently touch the pendant.

“You’re kidding, right? You gotta be kidding me. How many hours did you spend making that?!”

“Not as many as you probably think,” Geralt chuckled. “I mean it. Take it. It’s yours.”

“I… Thanks, Geralt,” Jaskier beamed and took the necklace from Geralt’s hand. “It’s beautiful. But now I’m realizing… Cirilla!”

“Wow. You sounded just like dad,” the girl said. “And yeah. I knew. That’s why I wouldn’t let you buy any kind of necklace. Sorry?”

“You should be ashamed for lying to me like that,” Jaskier smirked, fastening the necklace around his neck. “How do I look?”

“Gorgeous as always,” Renfri smiled. “Welcome to the band, Jaskier. Officially.”

Eskel cleared his throat.

“Yeah, welcome. There are a few rules you need to know about before you start. Rule number one – if we say the rehearsal is starting at… let’s say seven...”

“And here we go,” Lambert smirked. “Relax, Eskel, we’ll begin in a minute. Jaskier! Have you, by chance, managed to finish that stupidly catchy song that’s been stuck in my head for… five hours now?”

“Toss A Coin?” Jaskier beamed. “Well, I have, actually! Turns out horrible hangovers are surprisingly inspirational. Would you like to hear?”

“Oh, yes!” Ciri said.

“Sure thing,” Renfri nodded. “Hey! We could even squeeze it into the setlist for the next gig! Try it out. See how people like it!”

“You think Geralt will be able to learn a song in a week?” Lambert smirked. “Ouch! That really hurt, Geralt!”

“I hope it did,” Geralt growled.

“You realize that you’re expecting me to learn several songs during the very same week?” Jaskier asked.

“Yeah, but you’re… clever,” Lambert smirked. “Ouch! Eskel, tell Geralt to stop hitting me!”

Eskel raised his drumstick.

“If you don’t stop talking so we can start, I’m gonna help him!”

“I feel very unloved right now,” Lambert muttered.

“You are very unloved right now, I think,” Renfri chuckled.

“Play us the song, Jask,” Geralt said. “Quick. I think Eskel is about to have a heart attack. Ow. Fuck you, Eskel, I’m on your side!”

“Shut up, then,” Eskel growled. “Jaskier. Take your guitar and fucking play.”

“You know, nobody ever told me playing in a metal band was so risky,” Jaskier said. “If I knew… No, no, no, don’t hit the poor bard! I’m playing, see? See? Now, how did it… Oh, yes. When a humble bard…”

“So unrealistic,” Lambert whispered, and Geralt chuckled.

“Poetic license,” he muttered.

Jaskier winked and kept on singing.

Oh, how he already loved this band of idiots.

*

Late that night, already in bed, Jaskier opened his Instagram. He knew he probably shouldn’t. Blue light and all that jazz, right? But he was used to browsing his social media before going to sleep, and hey, he never had any trouble sleeping afterwards. So he opened it, only to find out that he had been tagged in a pic… by Renfri?

He looked at the pic. And blinked. And blinked again.

He hadn’t noticed her even taking the photo, but she must have, somehow.

It was of him and Geralt, face to face, both holding their microphones and apparently singing, eyes closed, faces intense with concentration. It must have been in the second half of the rehearsal, because Geralt had already taken off his jacket. He was only in his absolutely inappropriate tight black T-shirt, and it took all of Jaskier’s willpower not to look at those muscular arms. He scrolled to the caption.

Because it seems that everybody wants to see those two morons on a pic together, I give you: the mighty White Wolf and @jaskierthebard working on Toss a Coin To Your Witcher. And let me tell you – they don’t just look good together, they also sound AMAZING. I can’t wait to play this song live!

#kaermorhen #workinghard #rehearsing #thebardandthewolf

Jaskier rolled his eyes.

The Bard and the Wolf? Seriously?

Yeah, that was never going to catch on…

Continue with Chapter Six

[holidaywishes]

It Had To Be You XXVII

Part Twenty Seven: It’s All Coming Back To Me Now

  Summary: After Casino Night, you start to look for a new place to leave so you can give Tyler some space. When he says he doesn’t think it really makes sense, you two start arguing.

  Warning: nothing really, maybe a bit of angst -- we’ll see

  Author’s Note: I’m sorry this took soooo long! I got a little distracted and went on a bit of a Freddie Bender -- honestly, I searched through so many GIFs and watched so many interviews that I think I’ve been dreaming of the Great Dane. Which meant that Segs kinda took a backseat lol. Anyway, I hope this kinda sorta holds you over until whenever the next part comes out -- which I have no idea when that will be

  P.S. I know the ending sucks, it was super rushed and my brain kind of malfunctioned. Plus, the bat signal thing was inspired by the asks I saw pop up on my dash

  P.P.S Right before I posted this, I got a notification that Ty made a story and my heart jumped. What a weird coincidence...

  Song Credit: It’s All Coming Back To Me Now -- Celine Dion

  masterlist

  You went with Tyler to the rink to say goodbye to Devin and it still hadn’t hit you until you saw him without his gear on.

  “You’re actually leaving aren’t you?” you asked as Devin wrapped you in a tight hug

  “Got no choice” he sighed

  “That’s too bad,” you said as you pulled away, “I was actually starting to like you…”

  “Ditto,” he jokingly pushed you and you pouted, “take care of Segs, (Y/N). Don’t let him get out of control.”

  “I’ll do my best” you laughed once more before he gave you a quick kiss to the top of your head and went on his way. You noticed him text someone from his phone and you realized that you may never see him again; he truly was becoming one of your good friends and he was one of the few people you could run to when you needed advice.

  “WHAT THE FUCK?!” Diana texted you

  “Hey, D. What’s up?”

  “Devin’s gone?”

  “He got traded last night”

  “Well what the hell?!”

  “I’m sorry I’m lost…”

  “Did you not know that we’ve been seeing each other?”

  “NO!?! I mean I know you guys hooked up at Ty’s New Year’s Eve party but I didn’t know anything was still happening…”

  “Well, it was. And then I get this vague text from him that just says ‘goodbye,’ I thought he was dying or something!”

  “Did you talk to him anymore about it? Ask him how he’s feeling?”

  “I mean yeah. He’s bummed. He loved playing here and he made friends on the team. But he’s excited to have a new opportunity with Anaheim”

  “Do you think he’s lying? I think he’s lying. But if he’s not then okay. He deserves to be happy. So, what are you gonna do?”

  “I’m not fucking moving to Anaheim!”

  “Okay, first of all, relax. Second, no one said anything about moving to California. You work here. You have a life that you can’t just up and leave. Devin understands that. All I was asking was whether or not you were going to try? With him?”

  “Long distance relationships are tricky. You of all people know that…”

  “My situation was different. Devin is not James. You’re not me.”

  “I know”

  “Do you like him? Do you want to give it a chance?”

  “I do like him. Like a lot. I would love for it to work out but I don’t know if I can be away from my boyfriend for as long as I would have to be away from him…”

  “Can I say something? Without you getting defensive?”

  “You can try…” you scoffed at your phone before you carefully crafted your message.

  “Your relationships have all been very… accommodating. You’ve dated guys who give up everything for you and you don’t have to make any sacrifices and you know what? The guys have all turned out to be complete idiots with no ambition. And now, you’ve got Devin. Who’s super sweet and funny and smart and mature for his age and full of ambition, who’s clearly driven. And you don’t want to give an inch?”

  “What if it ends badly?”

  “Then it ends badly.”

  “Wow…”

  “But at least you can say you tried. If you don’t try, it will both end badly and never start…”

  “UGHHHHH!”

  “Text him. I gotta go.” When she didn’t text you back, you figured she was talking to Devin so you went to watch Tyler practice a little before eventually calling it a day and heading home; calling Tyler to the bench to give him a quick kiss goodbye.

  “Ooooh, look at the love birds!!” Ben cooed and you blushed

  “Alright enough. (Y/N), time for you to go. Seguin, back to work!” Monty snapped and you did as he advised, slightly uncomfortable now at the stares the group was giving you. You waved shyly at Tyler and then gave a slightly more grandiose wave to the rest of the team before heading home, shaking your head to yourself. On your way back to Tyler’s house, you realized that you hadn’t actually started looking at places on your own; once you moved to Dallas, you just kind of moved in with Tyler.

  Yes. The two of you had talked about it and came up with boundaries and stuff but the house was never going to be yours. And it really was never going to feel like yours. And you wanted something in Dallas that belonged to you, so you could feel like you were your own person and not just something that belonged to Tyler. Two hours later, you’d looked at at least 20 Airbnb's, a few hotels and some apartments downtown and were seriously considering two of them, when Tyler popped his head over your shoulder.

  “What are you doing?” he said as he kissed your cheek

  “Looking at places. What parts of the city do you think are the best?” you replied, still searching your screen

  “I thought you were staying here?”

  “Ty, we talked about this. I was going to stay here until I found a place…”

  “We came up with boundaries. I thought that was enough? I thought that was our agreement?”

  “Well, sort of…” you closed your computer and turned to face him, “don’t you think we need some space though? Like this is your place. And that’s great. It’s awesome and I love being able to stay here..”

  “Great. End of conversation!”

  “But Ty, I need something for me. Something that’s mine”

  “Your job isn’t enough?”

  “What?”

  “I want you to stay here with me!” he started to shout and you could see the hurt on his face becoming more apparent, “You’re gonna end up leaving in two months to go back to finish your degree and then what? We go back to only seeing each other when I’m in town? Only talk when you don’t have an assignment? When you’re not working?”

  “Of course not! We’ll still see each other while I’m here and we’d Facetime or Skype or call or text when I go back…” you tried, rubbing his arm to calm him to no avail

  “I just don’t get it,” he got up from where he was sitting, storming into the kitchen with the dogs following at his heels, “why leave? Why don’t you want to be with me here?” The words stabbed you and your eyes began to brim with tears

  “I want to be with you. Here. Everywhere. All the time. I just don’t want us to get tired of each other…” you spoke quietly, getting up and walking to where he was, wrapping your arms around his waist, “I love you, Ty. Don’t doubt that for a second”

  “It’s a little late for that”

  “What?”

  “For me not to doubt it. I love you and I want you to stay and I thought that would make it clear how I feel about you. But you wanting to leave.. how am I supposed to think that you love me if you want to leave me?”

  “Because I don’t want to leave you, Tyler!” he scoffed at you, turning his body, forcing you to walk in front of him, “this is not me saying I need space or we should take a break. This is just me saying I don’t want you to think I’m --” He peeled his eyes from the floor to stare up at you when you stopped talking suddenly, curious about what you’d say next.

  “Think you’re what?”

  “Using you…?” you sighed and brought your hand to your forehead, rubbing it gently, “I’m not that girl, Ty. I don’t want you to think I expect something of you just because we’re dating. Or make you think we’re dating because of all the things you can give me. I’m not… god it sounds so dumb saying it out loud…”

  “You’re not a gold digger?” he laughed and your eyes opened wide at his words, you quickly nodded and he brought you in for a hug, “where is this coming from?”

  “I have no idea…” and you honestly didn’t. In the time you’d been dating Tyler, he’d never taken away your independence. The only thing he’d ever bought you was the dress and the shoes for the Casino Night. Everything else was yours. All the jewelry you owned, your favourite Kate Spade bag, your phone (and it’s accompanying bills) -- all yours. He wasn’t paying for anything. So you had no idea where this argument stirred from.

  “How about this? You honestly feel like you need a place of your own? Fine,” you cocked your eyebrows at him in concern, “but get somewhere close. So I can see you anytime I want.”

  “How close are we talking? Because you know I can’t afford this neighbourhood…” you laughed and you knew what was coming. A quick press of his lips to yours as his hands roamed your body, stopping where your ass met the back of your thighs

  “Then stay here…” he whispered against your neck, “we can do this any time we want. And you won’t have to waste any money. I won’t think you’re a gold digger. I’ll only buy you things if it’s a special occasion. Or if I see something and think of you.” His tongue danced across your skin as you sunk into his body and you got so distracted that you let out a raspy ‘okay’ and felt him smile against your chest where his lips were.

  A month later, you and Tyler had been living together in bliss and it felt almost surreal. You’d celebrated his birthday and yours in town; grabbing a drink at a bar and then he took you out dancing after much protest from you. You were frequenting the games as well when the team had home games and watching every game with some of the girlfriends at home when the boys were on the road. You were surprisingly at ease; living with a boyfriend after James seemed like an impossible idea and knowing Tyler’s reputation, even after you’d been with him for as long as you had, should’ve made you insecure but he always made you feel safe and loved.

  Until you noticed the ‘bat signal...’

  It wasn’t something you had even thought about before. Of course, you saw his stories when he would travel on the road, tagging the cities the team would be in, but you just thought he was counting down to when he got to see his dogs again. It wasn’t until someone forwarded you the Spittin’ Chiclets episode that you had even heard anyone call this his ‘bat signal’ and when you saw it again on his stories, you couldn’t help but think about.

  And now it was all you could think about.

[keepforward]

7SEEDS: Last chapter, translation and thoughts

TL;DR: I translated the very last 7SEEDS chapter. KEEP IN MIND IT’S THE VERY LAST ONE, AND MIGHT BE SPOILERIFIC. Also, I have a lot of feelings, thoughts about the romantic couples, Ango’s situation, and more~

Of course, Spoilers for EVERYTHING. 

Finally, about a year after its release, I finished translating the last chapter for 7SEEDS. It’s been a wild ride, and I am honestly impressed with how far I’ve come, and how much I’ve managed to learn along the way. Resources like Romaji to Kanji and Jisho have been an invaluable source of help and knowledge, which I feel deserve credit here.

Since this might not be making much sense: I’ve been translating the unreleased 7SEEDS chapters on Otakumole (if anyone has an account there—hello!! This is lisahey :D). Unfortunately, the very last one was not updated there, and I have no photoshop skillz, so.. this is as close as I can get to releasing my own version of this chapter, partly as a tribute to Tamura’s wonderful work.

Now, to talk about the ending…

Let’s talk about the pairings. I’ll admit it: I’m a huge shipper. Aramaki and Ayu were probably my favorite couple, and I would have loved to see at least an awkward little first kiss between them. Still, I know—both still have a long way to go, and I feel like Tamura made it pretty clear that they would eventually pair up. When Ran mentions something about having a lot of couples, we can see a shot with Semimaru/Natsu, Aramaki/Ayu, Gengoro/Akane, Haru/Koruri, and, naturally, Hana/Arash, so I believe we could call it canon. Even so… I still long to see more of my favorite characters T_T Perhaps I will have to resort to writing fanfiction to get over all these FEELINGS.

In that same topic, I recently saw an illustration with the 7SEEDS couples, which features Ayu holding both Aramaki and Tsunomata’s arms. Could Tamura be trying to say both could work? I believe so, but—I get the feeling that, from now on, Aramaki will be more proactive in their relationship (he did admit to Haru that he felt jealous), and eventually win over, whereas Tsunomata just… doesn’t care. I mean, he did just find out about his dead girlfriend, and his frozen baby, so— the guy might need some time to process that. Weirdly, I could see him pairing up with Botan… if only for the fact that he mentioned that he likes older women with big breasts, lol.

It is also worth mentioning that Ango is #foreveralone on that illustration, but also sort of… blends in with Ryou and Matsuri? … I’ll admit, with how close Ryou is to Ango, I could picture a threesome there. They WILL be travelling together for a long time, after all.

Natsu/Semimaru is… alright. Now that he’s decided that he likes her, Semimaru is clearly quite proactive (I believe he’s kissed her several times already?), while Natsu remains somewhat insecure. Clearly, she cares about him, but… is it really in a romantic way? I feel like Semimaru will have to learn to be more tender before he can truly win her over.

Karita/Ran was just… weird, to be honest. It sort of made sense for Karita to have a crush on Ran (she IS pretty awesome), but for Ran to return those feelings seems a little out of the blue. Karita… is a good guy, but I don’t believe he’s an equal to Ran in terms of maturity or, ahem, intelligence. I kind of get the feeling that Ran is using him for sex, and because, while not terribly bright, he’s loyal and reliable. I guess that might be enough for her? Still, Ran/Nijiko makes a lot more sense, in my eyes. There is that sexy panel with them discussing about the house—and, let’s face it, Nijiko is more on Ran’s intellectual level. Buuut I guess that, in this world, procreation is important…

Sakuya is also alone, apparently looking in Hana’s direction. Am I the only one who found him irritating? My guess is that he eventually paired up with someone… but whom? Who’d be willing to put up with his condescending, smug, unbearable ass? D:

Character bashing aside… I’ve seen some criticism for Ryou/Matsuri, but, personally, I enjoy it. Ryou can be mean as hell, but I think he’s demonstrated that he both needs and enjoys the company of cheerful, caring people, like Matsuri and Koruri. Matsuri sees the world differently than he does, and she has the courage to face him when he’s being a dick—and I think he’s come to realize that he needs that. While he might not be able to return it, he needs Matsuri’s cheerfulness, and her caring. Otherwise, he gets trapped in his own world— something I think is laid bare during the ‘ship and atom bomb’ arc, where he was constantly on edge, thinking of reality as a “test” full of traps. I have a lot of feelings for them! <3

…Though, I do wish we had seen more interactions between Ango and Matsuri, seeing as she is basically dating his best friend now, and they will be travelling together—possibly for YEARS.

Other than that, I wonder about the children. Will Hibari ever become less of an insufferable brat? After the dogs saved her, I thought Tamura might choose for her to work with the animals, but that seemingly wasn’t the case. On the other hand, she’s working with Momota, so that might lay the grounds for them to pair up in the future. I wonder about a triangle with Hotaru, further amplifying Hibari’s hatred and jealousy, but… I DO hope it wouldn’t come to that. Maybe Hotaru can find ~love~ in someone older, seeing as most of them are only about 4-6 years older than her.

Now… to talk about something a little more serious: what did you guys think about Ango’s redemption arc? It kind of broke my heart that there was clearly no going back, and that even close friends like Koruri and Gengoro were turning their backs on him. In a way, I think he’s self-exiling, trying to atone for his crimes. Will they manage to open the Ark? And if they do… will he be able to live a normal life with the others? Or will he keep travelling the world? Either way, I just hope the kid can finally find some peace.

In that vein of thought: was anyone else slightly irked that everyone was acting pretty… sanctimonious-like? Like, hey, Gengoro… remember when you okayed using Momota, a 12-year-old child, as bait for dinosaurs? Remember how you did nothing to help him as Ango forced him to climb a cliff, claiming you “understood how he felt”?

I also regard Ran’s comment about them “paying their respects to Izayoi” with a grain of salt. Akio and her, are believe, and some of the greatest offenders—and yet, no one ever brings it up, or tries to hold them accountable for any of it! They acted as villains at some point, stopping Ryuusei from getting water (which he needed for Kurumi, who was pregnant at the time), they locked in Hara and company inside that underground shelter, leaving behind their own teammate to possibly DIE down there, had they not managed to escape— they beat their team if they didn’t finish their chores, they stole and killed Izayoi’s animals, driving him to a failed mass murder attempt—BUT NO, Ango is the ONLY bad guy here, amiright!?!??! Poor Izayoi! They were such close ~*~friends~*~.

And, now, don’t get me wrong—I know Ango did something horrible, and I actually think that Hana’s fear of him is very legitimate, and well executed. I just wish the others would admit that they, too, aren’t perfect.

Despite my complaints, I still regard 7SEEDS as one of the best mangas ever written. It was a pleasure to translate it—and, I admit, I got somewhat teary eyed when I typed in the final “*END*”, as well as Tamura’s last, grateful goodbye.

Thank YOU, Tamura, for giving us so much throughout the years. You made this world come alive, to the point where I could simply never get enough of these many, beloved characters. I want to see them continue to grow, to mingle, to develop— but I understand that all good things must come to an end. And what an ending! I enjoyed that little background about Chimaki’s father, and was very touched when it turned out he did, after all, remember that single memory he had with his father. I hope you enjoy this translation, and, if you have any questions or recommendations, please let me know!

Wow this turned out long o_o

[minaminokyoko]

Deadpool 2: A Spoilertastic Review

One thing I've noticed over the years is that there's nothing like it when someone busts their ass to make a movie happen, defying all odds, and pours their sweat, blood, tears (and in Deadpool's case, probably other fluids we don't want to know about) into a film, and it turns out to reward them spectacularly. Deadpool was one of those movies. They fought for years to get that movie made after the disgraceful ruination of the character in X-Men Origins: Wolverine and they did him justice beyond words. It was magnificently done. It damn near beat Jesus, for fuck's sake. Actual Jesus.

And that's why I think that I don't like the sequel as much.

I've seen this happen many times: a sleeper hit or an unexpected smash hit blockbuster exceeds all expectations and then puts out a sequel. Well, unfortunately, sometimes success can ruin your party. Success, accolades, and the second highest grossing Rated R film of all time had an influence on how Deadpool 2 turned out, if you ask me. When you're not starving for it, then it means that sometimes punchlines don't land as hard, writing is not as tight, and scenes aren't as memorable. When you're already fat and happy, sometimes your motivation to make the best thing ever is just servicable at best.

I think Deadpool 2 is an enjoyable movie, but I think it didn't want it as badly as the first movie did because it was already fat, happy, and satisfied from the first film. Thus, I think they didn't try as hard to make it the best movie possible. It's still a good movie, but it can't compete with the first film by any stretch, and I'll explain why. Naturally, spoiler alert.

Overall Grade: B-/C+

Pros:

-Deadpool himself is still funny, even if the change in tone puts a damper on a lot of the enjoyment.

-Domino shines like a freaking diamond. I already like Zazie Beetz from what I saw of her in FX's show Atlanta, so I was jazzed when they announced her for the role. She still blew my expectations out of the water. I had never seen her do a physical role before, and she absolutely sold me. I'd love to see her in sequels and I sure as hell would watch a spin off of her with other female heroes should the Deadpool franchise get to borrow some X-Men in what I pray will someday be a collaborative effort between Fox and Marvel Studios. She's fantastic. She's the black girl magic the world needs to know about, and I'm so happy studios are coming around realizing black women are a massive untapped source of awesome in superhero films. For the longest time, Storm was all we had and she was weaksauce due to poor writing, but we've slowly been seeing more inclusion with the women of Black Panther and Valkyrie from Ragnarok and now Domino. Keep 'em coming, superhero movies. Black women deserve to conquer the genre and usher in other women of color alongside them.

-The X-Men pulling the door shut gag was top notch. Kudos. Even though it raises some seriously weird questions timeline-wise, I howled. That was brilliantly addressed, especially since it's so painfully obvious in the first movie that Colossus and Negasonic Teenage Warhead were all Fox's stingy ass wanted to spare for poor Mr. Pool.

-Dupinder is still fucking adorable and precious and I'm glad he got his moment of glory.

-The Juggernaut getting a second shot was absolutely fantastic. I was trying to guess who it would be and then I saw that helmet and I might as well have done a fucking T-Rex roar in my seat the theater. Juggernaut was done right. He was everything I dreamt he would be ever since that disappointing appearance in X-Men 3. Don't get me wrong--Vinnie Jones had the right attitude, but making him just regular size guy defeats the whole purpose of why he's so unstoppable and terrifying. He literally ripped Deadpool in half. That was awesome, as was his grudge match with Colossus. I loved them going toe to toe with each other. It was staged extremely well. Aside from Domino, Juggernaut vs. Colossus was by far my favorite part of the film.

-Minor point, but I loved Deadpool's reaction to Yukio. He seemed genuinely charmed by her and vice versa and it was fucking adorable.

-The second post credits scene is exactly as good as the hype made it out to be. Oh God. Deadpool shooting Barakapool several times was just...I mean, it was the cherry on top of the sundae. It was so satisfying, as was the joke about shooting himself before he could star in Green Lantern. I love that Ryan Reynolds was so self aware that he severely fucked up his career from pretty much 2011 until 2016 when he finally got Deadpool made. He knew this movie was the only way he'd ever get himself out of that ditch in his career and I think it was a worthy redemption for sure. I also am so relieved they undid Vanessa's death, because that's the second biggest con I have for this movie as you'll see below.

-The Logan reference had me in stitches. It was so wrong, but so damn funny.

-The "blink and you'll miss it" Brad Pitt cameo. Fuck, that was amazing and surprising, thank you.

-The other "blink and you'll miss it" Alan Tudyk cameo. Holy shit, does Disney really like this man. I am so happy to see Wash getting some really great roles over the years. He's doing great.

Cons:

-Stuffing Vanessa in the Fridge. Alright, so technically I shouldn't put this in here because Deadpool fixes it in the end credits, but it pisses me off that they even attempted this stupid fucking trope. I am tired of dead girlfriends and dead wives used for Mangst. Fucking. Stop. It. Women are just as valid as men as characters. Stop killing them just to make the hero turn Super Saiyan. It's possible to still motivate the male motherfuckers without killing the girl and putting them on a revenge spree or depression spiral. It's lazy writing and all of Hollywood needs to move on from this tired ass trope. Vanessa was extremely charming, funny, and likable in the first Deadpool movie and Morena Baccarin is and has always been so wonderful to enjoy on screen in her dramatic and comedic work. I am so pissed off they Fridged her to only be in five minutes of the fucking movie. They shouldn't have even bothered putting her in the damned credits because she was only there for such a short period. If she didn't have time to film the movie, fine, just find another excuse that she's not there. Morena deserved better, dammit.

-Changing the tone of the film franchise from a screwball comedy to an action "movie" with jokes in it. This is the biggest reason I didn't like this movie as much as the first Deadpool movie. The first Deadpool movie is arguably a parody of superhero films. It takes most of the tropes and pokes fun at them in a really great way, but it also still manages to be a legit, streamlined revenge love story. It strikes the exact tone we'd all been craving ever since we heard the Deadpool movie would be greenlit. So why the fuck is the sequel written like an X-Men movie, but with more jokes? I hate the serious tone. I hate Wade moping over Vanessa, I hate the whole "family" bullshit that is spoken with a straightface somehow despite being almost as unearned as that hideous one in Suicide Squad, I hate Cable moping over his dead family, and I hate the "you're not my friend" bullshit between Wade and the incredibly annoying fat kid whose name I refuse to learn because he irritated me so much. Why did they play it all straightfaced? Why was I expected to see a "real story" in a Deadpool movie? The entire reason I like this franchise and haven't seen an X-Men film (not counting Logan) in years is because the X-Men franchise has completely played itself out. It's substandard acting, substandard writing, it doesn't adapt the comics the way it should, and it's just repetitive. All the movies since First Class are the same. The prequel babies are finally going to just end the charade with Dark Phoenix and I think most of the world is relieved because they have nothing creative or new to offer any longer. Deadpool 2 reeks of that same kind of lame writing and execution. There was no reason to switch the format. I pray to God they go back to formula in X-Force or Deadpool 3. I hate this change with a passion.

-The fat kid is annoying as hell. There, I said it. Fight me if you must. He had no sense of self preservation and the movie didn't go into enough detail to make me care about him in spite of how teeth-grindingly stupid and obnoxious he was. He was written like a twelve year old boy writing fanfiction about himself and Deadpool becoming best buds and fighting crime together. No. No, stop that right now. I don't want any part of it. I get the "he's just a kid" thing but the kid is an asshole and even if he's somehow justified, he's a pain in the ass to watch from start to finish. I also think the kid needs some acting lessons, but that's not entirely his fault. I think he probably just wasn't directed all that well, so I can let that slide, but I did notice it during the film.

-I don't care about Cable. Cable and Deadpool are righteous as fuck in the comics. In this movie? No. This is why I was against Josh Brolin being cast. He has no chemistry with Ryan Reynolds. I get that Cable is the Straight Man to Deadpool's Kooky Man, but they don't gel together at all. I never sensed any bonding even though they are setting it up for franchise reasons. He's just not interesting and he plays the role as blandly as he does all his boring ass biopics and other bland roles. Brolin worked much better as Thanos than he did Cable. Thanos had weight and was threatening and even though his reasoning was utter bullshit, at least he was convicted. Brolin's Cable just felt like some stock stoic character thrown in there as the minor antagonist. I still would have much preferred Liam Neeson or Ron Perlman, and yes, I understand both of them are getting up there in years, but we've seen older actors still kick ass and be in shape, so I think they could have done it if they were offered the part. Brolin is still one of the most drab actors I've ever seen and he just doesn't pull the role off, imo.

-The bait and switch with the X-Force team. This is a minor note for me, as I don't have a background with these characters so it's more for people who know these characters elsewhere and were expecting an awesome team up movie but that's not what they got. Are the gruesome deaths kind of funny? Yeah, sure, but it's kind of rude to advertise them that way and they're not in the movie. I just frown on it. It's not a dealbreaker. It was just disappointing in the same way that the Mandarin in Iron Man 3 was disappointing. I expected more and I got a farce instead.

-I don't know if it's for legal reasons, but it drives me crazy that we still didn't get a Wolverine cameo from Hugh Jackman. I mean, we finally got Deadpool--the real one--and I just want him and Ryan to share the screen again because even though Origins was trash, they were magical together.

-Deadpool's last "death" went on way too long. I was checking my watch. They really should have pulled the trigger on that gag. It was exhausting and not very funny to begin with.

-Negasonic Teenage Warhead getting reduced to an extra pissed me off. She was so great in the first movie and she doesn't get to do anything here and it irks the hell out of me.

-Aside from The Juggernaut vs. Colossus, the fight scenes weren't nearly as creative, cinematic, or memorable as the first film. I've already forgotten everything except the JvC fight and the convoy rescue scene. That's a bummer for me.

-The movie just isn't as funny as the first film. It's not the same kind of tight writing with excellent punchlines and ridiculous phrases that made me remember them. It's been a few days and I don't recall any insults or lines that stuck with me. I'll likely be seeing it again for Memorial Day weekend, but I still don't expect I'll remember much from it.

-Nitpick: God, I still want to push T.J. Miller off a bridge. He is not funny and never has been.

-Nitpick: WHY HAS NO ONE MADE A FIREFLY JOKE ABOUT MORENA BACCARIN AFTER TWO FUCKING DEADPOOL MOVIES?! COME ON. DEADPOOL IS ALL ABOUT NERD REFERENCES. GODDAMMIT MENTION FIREFLY YOU FUCKS. (But to be fair, this could also be because Fox is the reason we only got one season and so maybe they were forbidden from doing it. Still. That pisses me the hell off. Especially since Ryan Reynolds and Nathan Fillion (1) have both played the Green Lantern and (2) were on a sitcom with each other for years. Inexcusable.)

I'm sorry it sounds like I'm shitting on the movie. Really, it's enjoyable. I just think that maybe the first movie set the bar so high I can't help but feel frustrated by the sequel not trying as hard. Based on the online reactions, I'm on my own so...take that as you will, friends. Kyo out.

[amnachil]

The High School Game Part 8

(no i’m not coming back several months after, absolutely not :p)

Gregory DAY 60 Saturday

The after-match was going well. The young lad played as an attacking midfielder, while Tobias took Sam position as the supporting striker. However, the game turned out to be a big joke. Raphaël, displaised by Tobias attitude, decided to play solo. He scored 3 goals alone, leaned on his defense to make the rest. And they won this way, the others strikers desperately useless. Sam, constrained to the bench, had a lot of fun seing the spectacle, and laughed hard during 90 minutes. We tried to make fun of him but he had more fun than us... Gregory leant his lesson : do not prepare a plan without the captain approval. Anyway, Tobias, sportsman-like, organized a surprise-party as always. And now, they were in his manor, having fun. I'm so happy. Thanks to Raphaël support, the discreet boy started to become popular. He spent a long time after gym class every night exercising with Thomas. Rumours spread faster : 11th grade student thought he was the new right arm, instead of Sam and Tobias. And I managed to move aside both of them... Indeed, Tobias was moving soon, and Sam... well Sam being Sam, Gregory used his pride to trap him. He will never succeed my bet, but I will feed him so much he will just explode. And rigt after, Raphaël will be the only barrier between him and the success. Everything is going well. The others shouted when he won another beerpong game. Easy. Gregory sighed and found his way towards the buffet. Sam was here, eating like there was no tomorrow.

"Care buddy, I could make you stuff yourself, you know ?"

The brown lad smiled.

"Try it. I can handle everything, knowing you're too bad to be supporting striker."

"What do you mean ?"

"Well, you saw this : Raphaël did not need your help or Tobias's one to win. So why would he designates you supporting stricker while I was better, even without my full muscle capacity ?"

Gregory smiled. This motherfucker was just provoking him. He wants me to lose face. He will be disappointed. He knew he can't feed Sam too much, or the captain would notice somethings, but his "partner" got what's coming for him.

The discreet boy took a slice of pizza, and looked for Barbara and Jessy. Thanks to rumours, he knew the latter had a crush on Liam, the goalkeeper. By the way, where is this boy ? He disappeared, like the two girls. What the fuck are they doing ? Gregory searched them for a while, but he bumbep into Shirley. The blond girl was more or less hiding under the stairs, and watched Sam with sadness. Poor thing... Maybe she needs some comfort. He decided to join her, and smiled when she noticed him.

"You were not at the match." he stated. "We won."

"Ten persons told me Raphaël won." she agressively replied. "You're the only one to say the contrary. And to be honest, I watched the whole game, and I can tell you deserve no special credit."

Gregory lost his smile. She wants to fight ? Okay, I can do this too.

"Sam and I became good friends." he whispered. "He told me you were the worst girlfriend of his life."

Shirley gave him a dirty look. Yeah, irritate yourself chick, and make a spectacle of yourself.

"I suppose it's better than having no one." she responded. "By the way, you said Sam and I were a sweet couple one week ago. How much opportunist and brown-noser are you, exactly ?"

"Well, this is the game, as Raphaël would said. Be a good loser Shirley, and admit I was better than you."

"You're so pathethic. Manipulated by your captain, you just think you're special. But let me tell you a secret, Gregory : you have nothing. You are just easier to manipulate than the others."

He clenched his fist. How she dared ? He was at the head of everything, soon better than Sam and Tobias, and after that... Anyway, she had no right to insult him while she was the hated-girl.

"Look at you." Shirley continued. "You want to tease like Sam used to, but you just failed. Exactly like on the field. It seems like you're a unlucky boy, after all."

He grabed her shirt, enraged.

"You will pay for this. I'll make you pay, do you hear me ?"

"What could you take from me I didn't already lose ? My boyfriend act like if I wasn't existing, and my only friend decided I was responsible of all his misfortune. You have nothing to steal from me now."

"I will find." he promised. "I'll find."

Gregory left the manor quickly. He knew some random guy saw him, meaning his improviastion worked. And now, I will have another rumour about me. I will become even more popular than Raphaël, thanks to this stupid Shirley. Everything was going fine.

Shirley DAY 61 Sunday

She left the party early (she understood Sam would not come to her, he just acted like she was not here). After a disturbed sleep, she went to her athletics without any motivation. The training last 3 hours. Shirley worked with a group, mainly running, but sometimes, they did the others sporting disciples (her favourite was javelin throw). Having started at 9:00, she finished at 12:00, satisfied with her performance. Suddenly, she caught sight of Liam, waiting beside the running track. She came closer and smiled :

"Hi mate. How are ya ?"

Seeing her, the black-haired guy smiled too. He had a cheerfully smile.

"Hey Shir'. I'm fine, and you ? You're quite good, as much as I see."

"Well, thanks. I'm training for years now. What are you doing here ?"

"Waiting for my sister." he replied while showing a young girl on the track. Oh, they are siblings ? I did not know that. She knew Chloe, a 7th grade student promised to be one of the best runners of the athletics club. And now, she could actually notice resemblance with Liam.

"Usually, it's my mother who get her back." he explained, guessing her question. "But she is busy with my little brother right now, and asked me to come."

"Okay."

Shirley did not want this moment to end. She needed this discussion, making her feel better. At least, the goalkeeper treated her with respect. But what she could say ? I have to try my luck.

"Last time, you said me you disliked Jessy's physic... But would you date her if she was... slightly different ?"

He blushed like a eight years old shy boy and lower his eyes.

"Probably..." he answered in a hushed tone.

"Well, I can give you some advice if you want me to. As you said, I'm like... well, a specialist. At least according to rumours."

"You will tell me you have not feed Sam in order to make him gain weight ?"

She smiled. He was smarter than he looked. And he is one of Raphaël's closest relatives. I have to be careful on this.

"You know what I did. And I can help you to do the same thing to Jessy. That will be easy, seeing as she doesn't pratice any sport except equitation on Sunday."

He frowned, suspicious.

"What did you want in exchange for you help ?"

Here we are... High school community worked by deals. Students signed several arguments, and tried to keep them secret. They all wanted popularity, success, a relationship and good grades. It was a constant fight against rumours and envy. Liam as for her were not exception to the rule. They both wanted something. Well, the boy wanted Jessy. A chubby Jessy. However, Shirley hesitated. What I really want ? She dreamed about Sam, but also revenge against Raphaël, Jessy (but she can't make a deal about that with Liam, of course) and this fucking asshole of Gregory. The goalkeeper waited her answer, but she had to be cautious. He is too close with Raphaël... He will not betray his friend for me. Nevertheless, he don't know Gregory very well... I can use this... Or I can use him to make up with Sam. Eventually, she chose.

"I teach you how to date Jessy and fatten her up a bit, and you help me against Gregory."

"How am I supposed to do that ?"

Good. He did not decline, so he was ready to give it a try. Sam would never forgive her anyway, but she still could make Gregory pay.

"Spread a rumour for me. Well, that's not really a rumour, but when Jessy will hear it, everyone will be aware of this."

She came closer, and whispered :

"Tell to them Gregory want to take the team captain position."

Shirley went back home pleased by the new development. Liam was a sweet boy, in love and quite smart to understand where his interest was. He agreed to the deal. Soon, Raphaël will find out about Gregory ambition, and they will tear each other apart. She was back in the game. The young girl went upstair, avoid her sisters and entered in her bedroom. Suddenly, Dan hailed her. He came closer and smiled. Obviously, he knew about her separation, and since last Sunday, he tried his best to lift her spirits. Today, as every weekend, despite being 13:00, he worn his pajamas, probably woken since 30 minutes or less. The clothes (a new outfit) were loose enought to hide the most of his fat. However, his belly, which packed the most of it, was still visible, as a bump under his shirt. The gut hung over his pants sized 36, apparently bloated from a big breakfast. And still, Dan was eating a slice of bread with chocolate.

"How was your lesson sis' ?" he asked.

"Fine. I'm training for the january tournament, and my instrutor think I'm better than the last year."

"That's good ! And you have one last week at school before holidays. It'll be alright, isn't it ?"

She smiled. His brother was so sweet. She could not understand how this awesome guy tolerate Raphaël coldness. Needless to say, since Sam left her, Dan was the reason she had not a nervous breakdown. But soon, her rumour will spread, thanks to Liam, and she will have her revenge.

"Everything will be fine bro'." the girl stated. "Futhermore, Wednesday we have the christmas day : feast, party and good mood are obligatory. I'm among the volunteer to make the cook on Thursday, and I think I will have fun."

"Yeah, I hope you will." he replied. "Raphaël invitated me to the party : I will manage to be here, okay ?"

She nodded. Really, the idea of her vengeance expanding gave her satisfaction. She watched her brother go downstairs while rubbing his belly, and smiled. The game had began again.

Sam DAY 63 Thuesday

Sat here, in the coach office after the gym class, Sam felt a bit nervous. Next to him, Raphaël wrote an message, totally quiet. Well he is not the one coach Litman summoned. The two boys already knew the reason of this little meeting. When the coach arrived and sat, Sam gulped. He did a workout routine, and exercised as much as possible. He did not know his weight, because he was too busy to weight and was persuaded he lost some fat. After all, his pants fittted and his shirt were not smug anymore. The young boy felt comfortable, and he hoped coach Litman will not be too strict.

"Okay boys, let's begin. You probably know why we're here." started this one. "Sam, you can't remain our supporting striker as long as you're... hum... not ready."

Out of shape. He wanted to say out of shape. The brown lad sensed he will dislike the development.

"I think we will appoint you substitute, and let an other player take your place."

"You said he had to get back in shape before the holidays." interrupted Raphaël. "He still have one week, plus the two weeks of vacations."

Coach sighed.

"Please, how could he succeed on time ? Nobody lose weight during christmas, it's even more the contrary. And the last week of school will not be enough. We have to replace him in order to win our next games. He can't stay beside you in those conditions. Sam, what training are you doing ?"

"Workout on morning, especially bodybuilding and running. And I came to gym class every day last week."

Well, that was a lie. To be honest, Sam did his workout every two day, because bodybuilding was exhausting, and he disliked run beneath everyone's eyes. But it was enough to get back in shape, he knew that. Coach mumbled :

"This is good, but I think you would not be able to make it. Seeing you know, I'm sure it will be too hard."

"Let him try." asked (ordered) Raphaël. "We will designate another supporting striker meanwhile, but Sam is still our first-team player officially."

Coach Litman nodded. I already know my bestfriend was authoritatian, but wow... I will have to thank him for this. It was quite impressive, particularly knowing their instructor was 195 cm and weighted something like 110 kg of fat and muscle mixed.

"I thought Gregory would be a good supporting striker. He became faster, this last month."

Sam frowned. This cockcroach, instead of him. No way. He is too bad. Raphaël fixed his gaze on the coach and smiled slowly. He exuded such a callouness, the brown lad shuddered.

"It's out of the question. Gregory get the physics ability, but he have the wrong mentality. He will always try to score by himself, and will ruin our teamplay."

Well, last time, you ruined the teamplay. Obviously, Sam did not say that. Coach Litman neither. They both knew Raphaël was essential to the team, unlike Gregory.

"We have plenty of players who want a place in our team, even as a substitute." continued Raphaël. "Designate one of the substitute, and take another guy in his place."

"But... substitute are substitute because they are the worst player of our team."

"Maybe, but Sam will come back soon enough, and to be honest, I can handle pool phase all by myself. Are we all right ?"

The coach and the brown lad nodded, too cautious to brave the team captain. Anyway, he was right, for sure.

Back home, Sam was hungry (Greg fed him at noon as much as possible, and then he ate somes donuts, but still he was hungry) and rushed towards the fridge. He opened the door and smelt the odor of chocolat mousse. Indeed, his mother left a big container full of it and a word. He read it, curious while his stomach gurgled :

"Honey, this is one of my special dessert I made for the high school christmas lunch as a volunteer. Please, have a taste of it and tell me how it is."

He did not need to be told twice. Sam took a generous spoon and put it on his mouth. A multitude of flavor enguled his throat, and he sighed with pleasure. It's so good. He felt the warmth taste of chocolate fill his stomach. He watched the container with envy. His mother took the bigger, and there were still a lot of mousse. One more can't hurt. The young boy took a second spoon, and polished it in no time at all. Then, he closed the door and went to his bedroom, satisfied. This christmas meal will be so nice. Greg already warned him : it will be a feast. But the bet would be ended, and Sam would have win. The lad sat on his chair and patted his tummy. I can't lose this, I want this laptop. He took a can of protein shake (A lot lied around his desk) and drank, his head full of ideas. Then, he opened his agenda, and watched his homeworks. Sam started by mathematics, while eating some chips, but he felt bothered. This assignement was annoying, and he hated mathematics. Plus, chips were quite gross after the wonderful chocolat mousse. The idea of the dessert made his belly gurgle again. Well, seems like I'm still hungry. He was used to eat a lot, since his started his workout routine again, in order to have energy. Sam devoured two larges bawls of cereal and a glass of milk every morning, plus some cookies his mother made. Then, before school, he bought donuts at Liliano's bakery, a six or twelve bag. Then, Greg gave him some snacks during the class, and they went back to the bakery during the break. They did this the whole day, plus lunch, where Sam ate at the canteen, and then at Mcdo (Greg made sure he stuffed himself). And every evening, his mother Nadia cooked a real feast for her son, glad to see he had an appetite again. In fact, the only difference with before was now, the young lad exercised. Shirley made him fat by made him lazy. Now, I'm working out, and I'm not fat anymore. I'm losing the weight really fast, definitly. His stomach gurgled again, excited by the idea of eat. Sam went downstairs, checked he was still alone and opened the fridge. One spoon will be fine. There is still plenty of it. Slowly, he ate one spoon. And another. And a third. Sam, without even notice, brought the container to his bedroom. He gorged himself with the delicious dessert. It's so good. After a while, he bleched loudly and took a break. With patience, he rubbed his bloated belly. This chocolat mousse his too tasty... But now, I will put it away. With another blech, he stood up. Woah, I'm so stuffed. His belly, round and hard, felt nice. Sam lower his eyes and stare at the remainder of the dessert. It smelt so appetizing. Well... I guess a little more could not hurt. Carefully, he sat down onto his bed. During at least 30 minutes, he pigged out. His bloated tummy was ready to explode, but the delicious dessert was too attractive. He stuffed himself the whole container, while rubbing his distended stomach. He was unable to stand up straight, currently in a food coma.

"Son ?! I'm back !" shouted his mother from downstair.

Sam, barely able to think, did not answer. Holy shit, I need to find a explanation. I will tell her I invited some friends... He belched, and closed his eyes. Before all, it was time for a nap.

"I'll call you for diner !" his mother shouted again.

He smiled, and fell asleep.

Gregory DAY 64 Wednesday

As he walked towards tle classroom, the young boy could feel his mates staring at him. His plan to get himself talked about was working well. In the near future, he would be even more popular than Raphaël. The power is mine. However, one thing was turning wrong. Sam appatite and capacity were higher than he thought. This asshole could really win the bet. Despite being overfed the whole day by perpetual snacks and a huge double lunch, the brown lad succeeded so far. Anyway, lose a latpop worhty 800$ was not so bad if Gregory became in the same time the new head of the 11th grade.

"Hey Gregory. What's up ?"

Jessy, his beautiful and big boobs sized schoolmate, smiled. With her black hair and blue eyes, she was quite cute, depiste being not Gregory's favourite. I deserve better than her. Plus, the last check-up on december revealed she gained  1 kg, being now at 62. It means she will become obese before her twenties, and I don't want such a girlfriend. To be honest, his ideal was Shirley, but with a much lenient personality.

"I'm fine." he eventually replied. "Ready for our history exam ?"

"Well, as much as I can be I guess." she smiled again. "But I wanted to have a discussion with you before."

"Yeah ? What can I do for you ?"

Already, people came to him instead of Raphaël. This is the beginning of something new. But I will be good with you captain, because you and your brother were nice to me. Maybe Raphaël would be his right arm.

"I heard you have some... different with Shirley. I have some too. To be honest, I expected her to be devastated after Sam left her, but she act like if nothing happened. Even worst, I saw her talk with my new boyfriend Liam, and I dislike the idea. We both have interest in common."

Gregory gave a faint scowl. This was even better than he thought. With the gossip girl help, he would be able to find a weakness. A way to make Shirley pay for her provocations.

"What are you offering ?"

"She lost her boyfriend, and everyone hate her, but she still think she can be happy because her brother supported her. We have to break their relation."

"How ?"

Gregory felt excited by this. Shirley loved her brother, and talked about him often. If they have an argument, she will be devastated.

"Spreading a rumor. A rumor which make her a real asshole, even for her brother. I already have an idea, but I can't spread it myself. I need you to do this."

Jessy came closer and whispered the development :

"Tell everyone she is lesbian. Okay, you think it's totally dumb, but think for a sec. She love sport, and have the body of a real little boy. And she is short-haired, always wearing jeans or sweatpants. Please, she is the only girl doing that."

"I don't give a fuck about the truth. This is awesome, she will felt devasted, and her brother will be disgusted. Really, this is a nice idea. But we can improve it a bit."

To be continued

Well, this is soon christmas holidays (in the story of course) and we’ll have fun with that ! I’m sorry for taking so long before posting a new part, I’ll try to be effective again !!

[miserelysia]

So I watched the Netflix Death Note adaptation...

And I did a liveblog because that’s how I cope with bad adaptations of things I love. It’s pretty long but so was the movie. Also swearing.

HERE WE GO~

- Setting: Seattle. I'd say you already failed, Netflix, but I was prepared for this. And alright, so we have a re-imagining of Deathnote. - Our hero creepily hangs out right behind cheerleader practice and does homework, awesome - also he a nerd who does other people's homework and judges them - cool - chick who smokes and gives him eyes is Mia - and Light doesn't know how to smile - well it really does seem like Ryuk CHOSE him in this version instead of just randomly throwing his Death Note down to earth - why are we all afraid of rain we're in SEATTLE - super awkward, tortured troubled nerdy white boy, gotcha - ...light are you not reading the other rules. that's kind of important. THERE ARE RULES FOR A REASON. - oh shit it's time for willem dafoe's big debue - HI FRIENDDDD - LMAO LIGHT'S SCREAM - I MEAN, RELATABLE BUT - RIDICULOUS - why didn't they just name him Larry ffs "Light" just sounds weird for an American kid - I'm gonna call him Larry - okay let's jump right to DECAPITATION LOL DAMN SON - DAAAMMMMNNNN SON - THAT IS NOT THE KIND OF HORROR I WAS LOOKING FOR IN THIS MOVIE - OMG LARRY U KILLED KENNY - way to trash the classroom Ryuk - what happened to my friendly bored shinigami - he got Americanized(TM) - LARRY YOU GOTTA READ THE WHOLE TERMS & CONDITIONS ON SOMETHING LIKE THIS FFS BOY - i mean granted we don't have the whole terms & conditions because they weren't all written out in the manga - or were they?  i never read them - bUT THEN I WASN'T THE ONE WITH THE POWER TO FUCKING DECAPITATE PEOPLE BY WRITING THEIR NAME DOWN - thank you Ryuk for giving the correct pronunciation of your name - so either Ryuk is lying about the rules of the Death Note, saying it HAS to belong to a human, orrrrrr this is another Adaptation Thing - okay well Larry definitely isn't any Light Yagami but his character is.... pretty realistic for a Troubled White Boy(TM) - just wondering how the heck Larry is gonna be smart enough to avoid detection - also is he going to take a chip and eat it - lol damn how'd you know Antony was at a dinner party, Larry? - AWWWWWW HIS DAD LOVES HIM YAY - okay Ryuk's design is..... okay - LARRY WHY R U BRINGIN IT TO SCHOOL - AND WHY ARE YOU SITTING IN THE BLEACHERS DURING GYM??? - or are you creeping on cheerleaders again boy wtf - "you saw a guy decapitated? damn that's hot" mia what's wrong with u - LMAO YEAH SURE SHOW HER THE DEATH NOTE????? - OKAY - ugggghhhh come on, anyone who TOUCHES the death note can see Ryuk not just the keeper. why change that rule???? you could have so many more amazing "HOLY SHIT AN 8 FOOT TALL DEMON?!?!?!??" scenes - "i have a death god" well i'm glad they're not trying to make everyone say "shinigami" the whole time - "you of all people want to see this" HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT CAN YOU TELL SHE'S A SOCIOPA--okay granted, she did talk about wanting to see Kenny's decapitation - "you snot-nosed little douchebag" that is.... such a tame insult for a guy who's holding a gun to a lady??? - um why was that rogue SWAT truck just driving through at top speed you can't control other people i thought??? - also why did he just fuckin EXPLODE when it hit him like a damn garbage bag damn Netflix - holy shit Mia what's your damage why are you so hype about this - lmaoooo nerdy virgin boyyyyy - no longer a virgin boyyyy - having weird sociopathic sexytimes with his weird sociopathic girlfriendddd - white boy saviour complex is go - AYYYY GOD COMPLEX IS GO - time to get busyyyyyyy KILLING PEOPLE - um did you really target EVERYONE IN A NIGHTCLUB WTF BOI SOME OF THEM WEREN'T EVIL - or are they just saying someone shot up the whole place BUT YOUR VICTIM'S ACTIONS CAN'T RESULT IN SOMEONE ELSE'S DEATH I THOUGHT??? - i do like that L is a black man - why is Watari kinda creepy - AWWWWW GOOD THEY KEPT THE CANDY OBSESSION - "you'd kill him? you'd kill him for me???" omg mia seriously WHAT IS UR DAMAGE - my precious boy L and his rainbow candies - this is all i wanted. quirky L dealing with the police - HE'S PRECIOUSSS - OOOOOHHHHHH BURNNNNNNN"CHILD WEILDING POWER HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND" - "now i'm rooting for this guy" THANK YOU RYUK, ME TOO - i'm in love i love L I'm rooting for him too - u gonna kill ur dad larry? - "i think you can tell when you're sitting across froma killer like kira" he says to his CLEARLY SOCIOPATHIC SON - mia U HAVE ISSUES WHYYYYYYYYY - r u serious - relationship issues now too - da fuq - how is mia EVEN WORSE OF A PERSON THAN LARRY - HOLY SHIT GIRL - THE ENTIRE DAMN TEAAAMMMMMM - omg larry it was MIA not ryuk - seriously are you serious are you saying it's ryuk are u FUCKING SHITTING ME NO - "just making sure you hadn't died" lmao thanks L for ur concern - "light turner is kira" okay then L, i mean i guess we had to make the conflict go fast but okay - "i don't do check, only checkmate" nice - "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND MEEEEE" lmao larry you aren't light - "you're the one who flew into the sun, I'm just here to make sure you actually burn" I LOVE U, L - U NEED HIS FULL FUCKING NAME NOT JUST WATARI. FUCK YOU DID THE PEOPLE WHO MAKE THIS NOT READ THE DAMN MANGA - I'M SO ANGRY THIS IS SO POINTLESS - L IS SO SAD -MY BOY - BBY - HIS FRIEND IS GONE - lmao this got overdramatic real friggin fast - r u serious MIA IS A MUCH BETTER LIGHT THAN LARRY IS - LIKE THE ORPHANAGE WOULD JUST LEAVE THEIR INFO LYING AROUND???? - AND WHY HAS L NOT REALIZED WHERE LARRY WOULD SENT WATARI IT'S SO OBVIOUS - DA FUQ IS WRONG WITH THESE CHARACTERS - why is there cell reception in that place - why did that guy kill him THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS??? - WHY DID KNOWING WATARI'S FUCKIN NOT EVEN REAL NAME WORK - AND IT WAS POINTLESS - POINTLESS LOW QUALITY BADLY RESEARCHED WRITING - Larry u fuckin idiot you don't deserve to be Light and I need the plot twist to be that the death note was actually mia's all along - "you don't get to feel superior for being a pussy" omg mia - hot damn she killed everyone - HOLY SHIT SHE GONNA KILL HIMMMMMMM - HOLY SHIT - MIA - HOLY SHIT - HOLY SHIT - "now go get my goddamn book" HOLY SHIT - I LOVE THISSSSSSS IT'S WHAT I WANTED ALL ALONG - BADASS GIRL IS A BETTER LIGHT THAN LARRY FOR REAL - L MY PRECIOUS BABY I'M SORRY - ummmmmmm larry you could just burn the page urself u know??? - car chase & foot chase nice added unnecessary drama - Y U HIT L IN THE HEAD RANDOM MAN THAT'S NOT NICE - "NOW GIVE ME MY FUCKING BOOK OKAY" HOLY SHIT MIA - LMAO HE PUT HER NAME IN - LMAO TAKIN DOWN THE WHOLE FUCKIN FERRIS WHEEL - "I TAKE IT BACK" LMAO LARRY U CAN'T - RYUK WHAT THE FUQ - LMAO AND HIS HEART IS GONNA STOP AT MIDNIGHT WHILE HE'S HOLDING HER RIGHT - SUCKS FOR YOU MIA - oh oop no she falls instead - SHE REALLY LIKED THAT BOOK I GUESS??? - BYE KIDS - oh nice image with the flowers exploding - "innocence destroyed~" or w/e guys please she was already a crazy sociopathic monster - R U SERIOUS THE ONE PAGE - THE ONE PAGE WITH HIS NAME - FALLS PERFECTLY INTO THE FLAMES - FOR REAL - WHO IS MYSTERIOUS MAN????? - great yeah just put the death note on his chest and then the nurse can find it - why'd he magically wake up from a coma - why is no one responding to his increased vitals - YEAH U KILLED UR GIRLFRIEND WAY TO GO - i mean she sorta killed herself but - oh wait nope he actually killed her - wow - so that last bit of plotting almost earned you the right to be called Light, Larry - but not quite - anD WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF ENDING IS THAT??!?!?! - I HATE OPEN ENDINGS - LARRY IS ABOUT TO DIE RIGHT - I DECIDED IT. LARRY DIES. - EXCEPT THAT MAKES L A KILLER - BUT L'S CHARACTER HAS ALREADY CHANGED DRASTICALLY SO... - YEAH, LARRY DIES - i mean the other option is that his dad's like "wtf" and locks him up forever - but then American Ryuk just gives the Death Note to someone else and now that Kira is a thing they'll think it's up to them or something??? - who knows - whatever - i'm done with this weird ass convoluted mess. - well the beginning of the credits was cute at least, with the bloopers and the fun times

Okay this wasn't a complete waste of time but they absolutely lost me as an adaptation at the point where Larry was able to control Watari wITHOUT KNOWING HIS FULL DAMN NAME I MEAN COME ON THAT'S WHY HE'S CALLED WATARI. Also constantly screaming "THERE ARE SO MANY RULES" like hey maybe you should take the time to read them Larry wtf is wrong with you. L losing it was interesting but man I miss the calm, 5-steps-ahead-of-each-other cat and mouse of the actual Death Note. I think I'm gonna go watch that now.

[theartificialdane]

Galactica, part 225

In this Violet hears news, Max takes a chance, Courtney hangs up, Jinkx is a friend, Bianca is compromised and Trixie enjoys halloween!

Thank you @veronicasanders @samrull and @toriibelledarling for being my awesome cowriters <3

“Yes. Yes. Yes of course Shannel, yes, I can do that.. No, no it’s fine. Yes I’ll confirm, yes. Okay. Yes, bye.”

Violet hung up, her head spinning. Shannel had just called her, telling her that Nina Garcia wanted to see her for a meeting about the spread she had gotten in Marie Claire. Violet was sure the entire thing had been approved by Bianca, had been told it was approved by Bianca, but after the call she wasn’t sure at all. She knew there was bad blood between Nina and Bianca, but she had no idea how much, because even though she had been Fame’s assistant, and that she was dating one of Bianca’s best friends, Violet had never been one who listened to gossip, the woman actually often turning out completely when she was out with Sutan, and the people he considered his family whenever they started talking.

Violet could have panicked, could have lost her mind and started redoing all of her work, but she wasn’t going to. What she had made was amazing, and she was going to convince Nina that she deserved the spread, because she did.

***

Courtney sat in her makeup chair, trying to calm her breathing. She’d been preparing for this concert for almost two months, and now that the day was finally here, and every one of her nails was bitten down to the quick, all she was trying to do was center herself, and nothing was working. She felt like a bundle of raw nerves. Why on earth had she convinced herself that she could do this? Who the FUCK did she think she was?

She chest felt tight and suddenly it was all too much. She jumped up from her seat, jostling the elbow of the makeup artist, stammering out a shaky, “Sorry, I’m sorry,” and fleeing through the green room, where Bianca sat with her family, Lucien, Latrice, a few of the label guys - all of them counting on her. She raced past them, out the back door of the theatre, into the dim alley, where she shivered in the dusk, tears pricking at her eyes.

Why was she such a disappointment? Why couldn’t she do anything right?

*

Bianca stood up, about to go after her distraught girlfriend, but Annette put an arm on her shoulder and said, “Let me go, love.” Bianca nodded and sat back down, handing Annette Courtney’s coat and sighing.

*

“The weather in this hemisphere is just horrifying,” Annette declared, stepping outside and wrapping Courtney’s slim shoulders in her coat. “I don’t know how you survive these winters.”

“You get used to it,” Courtney sniffled. She leaned her head against her mother’s shoulder.

“Now. You want to tell me what’s going on? I’m fairly certain you’re not pregnant.”

Courtney laughed through her tears. “No. I’m not pregnant.”

“Right, so what’s the problem, love?”

“What if I fuck everything up tonight?”

“Well…” Annette smiled, “It wouldn’t change anything, really. It wouldn’t change who you are.”

“I don’t know who I am,” Courtney admitted, fresh tears spilling down her cheeks.

Annette tucked her hair behind her ear. “Alright. Well, then, let me remind you.” She took her daughter’s hands and kissed them, then squeezed them tightly while she said, “You, my dear, are the headstrong, confident, independent girl who has never in your life backed down from an adventure. You left home when you were 17 because you found a program here in this city halfway across the world from everything you’ve ever known.”

Courtney shook her head. “You’ve got it all wrong, mum. I wasn’t...I wasn’t setting off on an adventure. I was running away.” Her voice broke. She felt so much shame, but she couldn’t bear lying to her mother any longer.

Annette took Courtney’s face in her hands. “Yes, you ran, but you ran towards something new. And look at this beautiful life you’ve built for yourself.”

Covering her face with her hands, Courtney’s voice shook as she said, “It’s not my life. It’s Bianca’s life, I don’t deserve any of this, it’s all because of her…”

Annette grasped Courtney’s shoulders, practically shaking her. “Oh really? Bianca wrote the music on your album? Did she? And sang the vocals? Bianca is getting up there to perform tonight? She’s giving your interviews?”

“No, but she…”

“Darling, listen, I’m not discounting everything that Bianca has done for you. Okay? But with or without her, this is what you were meant to do. And if you think that you don’t deserve it, or that you don’t deserve her, well then maybe she’s not the right person for you. Because you should be bursting with pride right now. Not because of all this, which is amazing, but it’s material. Because of who you /are/. Because you care about right and wrong. Because you are honest, and generous. Because I knew that when you left home, everywhere you went, you would leave things better than you found them.”

Courtney sighed. “You give me too much credit, mum.”

“Well, that’s what mothers do. It doesn’t make me wrong.”

Courtney closed her eyes. She did think that her mother was wrong, thought that she was seeing some rosy version of her that probably didn’t exist. A girl that Courtney wished she could be, but never felt that she’d ever truly been. Maybe if she just worked harder...

Gil poked his head out of the door. “What’s taking so fucking long out here? Annette, this is the longest damn pep talk in history. Courtney, there’s a whole theatre full of people waiting for you to shake your ass and sing some songs. Suck it up and come back inside before you freeze to death.”

“Well, that’s putting it bluntly,” Courtney said brightly, laughing and wiping her eyes. She squeezed Annette’s hand and followed her dad inside. “Fuck, Yara is gonna kill me, I think I cried off all my mascara.”

“I’m sure she can handle it,” Annette replied, squeezing her hand back.

***

As she waited for the lights to come up, Courtney gave herself a final, frantic pep talk. /Own the stage. Be a star. Be someone who deserves this. Be anyone but who you are inside./

And then the music began, and the stage lights hit her, burning her eyes, and adrenaline surged through her veins, and suddenly it all clicked, and everything she’d been working for made sense. And as she sang her heart out, lifted high in the air by two backup dancers, she realized that she was suddenly more herself than ever before. She was Courtney Motherfucking Act. And she was killing it.

***

Max could smell lemon, Ruby somehow always smelling like lemons, her hair in his nose, their legs intertwined. They were on the couch, Ruby snoring slightly since she had gotten home from work, a rerun of That 70s Show on the TV on low.

Max’s arm was asleep, but he couldn’t get himself to move, not when Ruby was there in his arms, soft, sweet, and perfect. He had talked to Katya, the teacher coming up in his friend as she had shown him horrifying diagrams on the internet, telling him with extreme enthusiasm of the inner workings of the female reproductive system.

Max had felt sick through the entire thing, he had considered maybe trying sex, for Ruby’s sake, not because he felt pressured, but because he could maybe consider possible trying it with Ruby. Max had been psyching himself up all day, his back slick with sweat when Ruby opened the door, Max telling himself that he could and would do it, but Ruby had just smiled at him when he had offered to ‘stick it to her good’ like Katya had suggested, and shook her head before pulling him to the couch.

Max wasn’t sure why Ruby liked him, or why he liked her so much, but he was so glad they both did.

***

Adore cheered, shoving her sister hard from behind. “Stand UP, you bitch, she was singing that song for you!”

Courtney had just finished a soulful ballad, and Adore was continuing her annoying habit of demanding standing ovations for every single number. Bianca turned, flashing her sister a dirty look. “Would you let me enjoy the fucking moment?”

“Enjoy it on your FEET!” Adore yelled over the crowd.

“Alright…” Courtney took a sip from the water bottle on her stool, using the moment to catch her breath. “So, for this next number, I need a little help. I’m gonna have to ask one of my oldest, bestest friends to come up on the stage with me for this one…” She looked out into the audience, squinting dramatically, eyes landing on Adore. “Ms. Delano, if you please…?”

“Who, me?” Adore replied, looking around. Alaska laughed.

“Can you please just get your ass onstage?”

“Yeah, okay.” Adore scrambled up the steps. She looked down. “I just...I don’t think this outfit is very…” she ripped open her baggy flannel shirt to reveal micro cutoffs and a halter top, earning a bunch of whoops and catcalls. She milked the moment, batting her eyelashes.

Courtney looked back at the audience, rolling her eyes. “You’ll have to use your imagination here, pretend Adore is wearing something slutty for this character.”

“Type casting.” Adore winked.

“Are you ready to fuckin’ sing or what?” Courtney asked, handing Adore a microphone.

“I’m ready! Let’s go!”

Courtney pointed to the band to cue them and the opening bars of Rent’s “Take Me or Leave Me” began to play.

“Every single day, I walk down the street,” Adore began. “I hear people say ‘Baaaby,’ so sweet… “Ever since puberty, everybody stared at me. “Boys, girls, I can’t help it, baby…”

Courtney tried to hide her grin, since her character was supposed to be glowering the whole time, but it was nearly impossible, watching her friend shine beside her. She managed to (mostly) keep it together, though, at least as far as the audience could tell.

As they hit the final notes, harmonizing perfectly, they managed to sing directly into each other’s faces without breaking down giggling like they’d done in every single rehearsal. “Take me baby...or leave me!”

They held a beat before shout-singing the last lines, “Guess I’m leaving! I’m gone!” and flouncing offstage in opposite directions.

In the wings, they turned around and Courtney caught Adore’s eyes. She was jumping up and down and clapping her hands, blowing kisses. Courtney reached out her hand as re-entered to bow. Adore put her arm around Courtney’s shoulders.

“You know,” Courtney said, “I never really understood why people thought Maureen was the hot one. Joanne is clearly the catch in that relationship.”

“The voluptous, Ivy-league educated woman of color with a full-time job? Yeah, I wonder what you like about her.” Adore rolled her eyes.

“Point taken. But like Maureen, she’s seriously such a twat, right? ‘Oh, I’m an artist, I refuse to pay rent...’”

Adore shook her head at Courtney sympathetically. “Awww...boo…so much self-loathing...”

“Shut up! That describes you just as much as me! More, even!” She crossed her arms.

Adore laughed and kissed Courtney on the cheek, branding her with a bright red lipstick mark. “Yes, buttercup.”

“I hate you. Go back to your seat before this turns into Freudian analysis.”

“Guess I’m leaving…” Adore said. “I’m gone!”

Courtney laughed as Adore skipped down the steps. “Good one.” She turned and walked back to her mark for the next number, turning back to the audience dramatically when the lighting changed. “Oh, baby baby…”

Adore jumped to her feet again, cheering loudly, as the giant video screens began playing Courtney’s “Baby One More Time” video. She nudged Bianca. “Look, B, it’s your favorite video! Stand up!!”

Bianca rolled her eyes. “You’re exhausting,” she replied to Adore, eyes still glued to Courtney, who she could swear just caught her eye and winked. Damn, she was hot up there. Suddenly, Bianca didn’t mind how much her feet hurt anymore.

***

After the concert, there was a small gathering at a local club and Courtney really expected to feel nothing but relief. But to her surprise, despite being exhausted, she missed the stage, and the lights, and the feeling she’d gotten when she was up there. She even managed a lengthy conversation with two LiveNation promoters to talk about adding dates to her tour. Just as she was running out of steam, and losing a patience for both of them talking directly to her chest the whole time, she was rescued by Jinkx, who put an arm around her and deftly guided her away, directing her attention to a conversation across the bar.

“So, see that dude Latrice is talking to? That’s my theatrical agent, David Greenberg. Right about now, he’s telling her that they’re doing another Cabaret revival and he thinks you killed ‘Maybe This Time’ and he wants to get you a meeting with the producers and are you interested in Broadway.”

“Are you SERIOUS?!” Courtney exclaimed, covering her mouth with her hand.

“Yup.”

Courtney turned and threw her arms around Jinkx’s shoulders, hugging her tightly. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” she cried.

Jinkx laughed. “You sang the song, honey.”

“Hey, bitch, get your hands off my woman!” Adore called, walking over with her arm draped over Alaska, clearly three sheets to the wind.

Jinkx rolled her eyes. “Which one of us are you talking to?” She pulled Adore’s hair gently.

Alaska laughed. “Good question!”

“You guys are all so mean to me, all the time…” Adore slurred, pouting.

“Oh yeah?” Jinkx asked, wrapping her in a hug and kissing her temples. “Like this?

Adore smiled sleepily at Courtney over Jinkx’s shoulder. “Yeah, so mean…”

Courtney laughed. “Yes, you really look like you’re suffering there. We should host a telethon.”

“A tragic life,” Alaska agreed, giggling.

***

“Ahem.”

Bianca turned from the bar to see Annette standing at her shoulder. She smiled. “Hi, Annette! Great show, huh? Your daughter is amazing.”

“Yes, she’s…” Annette smiled. “It was quite special for us to be here. I’m thrilled that we were part of this. She’s really something.”

Bianca nodded, sipping her wine. “She’s worked her ass off, so seeing it pay off like this...it’s incredible. I’m so proud of her.”

Annette sipped her own drink thoughtfully. “She may need to hear you say that...which isn’t to say that you don’t. She just...seems a little fragile right now.”

“Oh?” Bianca tried to keep her voice light, but her heart began to pound a little.

“I’m not sure why, or if it’s even my place to say anything. Maybe it’s all the pressure of this album, and the expectations. I’ve certainly never done anything like this, so I can’t really imagine, and she’s new to this world, so perhaps it will pass once she sees that she can sustain a career. Or maybe it’s a side effect of being an artist. I don’t really know. But it did seem that her confidence was shaken tonight, before the show.”

“Did I...do you think I’m adding to that pressure? Or--”

“Oh, heavens no, love! I didn’t mean that. I just...be patient with her. I can tell she’s trying to figure everything out, and it may take her awhile.”

“Okay…” Bianca felt slightly rattled. What was Courtney trying to figure out? Was their relationship something that she was uncertain about? She wanted to ask more questions, but didn’t want to ask Annette to betray her daughter’s confidence. So she finished by merely saying, “Thank you.”

“No, Bianca, thank you. For your kindness, and your generosity. We’ve had a lovely time.” Annette pulled her in for a big, warm hug, the kind that is distinctly maternal, and some of her anxiety dissipated, just a little.

***

HAPPY HALLOWEEN, V-LISTERS! Welcome to the holiest holiday of the year!

Obviously Li’l Courtney Act’s record label knows they are onto something with those nude pictures coming out, because they suddenly dropped her next music video, for Kaleidoscope, which is one of our favorite songs on the album. The video is about as millennial as it could get, all gender-swapping, sexuality-blurring, 90’s throwback fashion with a big rave type party situation at the end. I mean we didn’t really get it but she looks happy.

However, Li’l Miss Act explains it herself in this interview in today’s issue of The Advocate, which we’re just gonna post here verbatim because it’s just, so /very./ I mean it’s sort of equal parts insufferable and mildly endearing. WE ARE WATCHING YOU COURTNEY!

Kisses, V

THE ADVOCATE: So tell us about what inspired you when writing this song, and conceiving this video. Is all feels very personal.

COURTNEY ACT: It is! Very much! I think the lines that blur between gender and sexuality are really interesting. I always identified as straight, up until the beginning of this year, really, until I fell in love with a woman and it was like...suddenly I was seeing colors for the first time.

TA: Yeah, we heard B’s good in bed.

CA: That’s not what I meant! I mean I guess that too. (laughter) But, I also realized that any time I was really attracted to a guy, I told myself it was because of their strapping masculinity. Which is a thing we’re programmed to think is desirable, especially in places like where I grew up that have very provincial ideas about gender. But then, when I really broke it down, I realized that I liked these men, not because of their masculinity, but in spite of it. You know, like the football player with the long, beautiful eyelashes. Or this one guy I dated where i was just like, obsessed with his butt. And when I think about him now, like, that was a very womanly butt.

TA: A womanly butt?

CA: Yeah! Like round, and soft, and, you know?...Okay, and my brother--

TA: That was a /terrible/ transition!

CA: I know, I’m sorry. But my brother is a drag queen, and like, he dresses up in these beautiful clothes and becomes, not female but like this idea, this fantasy of what a female is supposed to be, and it’s so intriguing and beautiful, but in a whole new way, and I fell in love with drag watching him, because--

TA: This sounds a little...Flowers in the Attic.

CA: That’s what B says! I don't know that book. We don’t read incest porn where I come from.

TA: Maybe you should, it sounds like you’d like it.

CA: (Laughter) Maybe it would hit too close to home.

TA: This is taking an unusual turn…

CA: Sorry. But back to the video, I wanted to play with gender because I’m thinking about it a lot, because of my own views and how they’re changing. I always thought I had to be a certain way, as a female, and that men had to be a certain way, but I think all of that is kind of being turned on it’s head. And now every day I wonder, am I wearing this because I want to, or because society is telling me I should? Maybe I want to wear a really “girly” dress in one moment, and then more androgynous or traditionally masculine clothing the next day, and that’s okay. And it’s not just clothes, but that’s the most obvious expression, the first thing we see. I worked in fashion for awhile and I’m surrounded by it all the time because of Bianca and it’s just like...there’s so much EXPECTATION and I kind of have a natural need to question things, but also this desire to be easy-going, so that’s always an internal struggle.

TA: So basically you’re human.

CA: Is that what that is? What a terrible affliction. Is there a cure?

TA: None that doctors recommend.

CA: (Laughs) Right. So anyway, as you can tell, I’m in my head a lot.

TA: You don’t say!

CA: (giggles)

TA: We hear your next video is much lighter.

CA: Oh, yeah, Ecstasy. It’s pure fluff. Just a fun dance song. Dedicated to my bestie.

TA: Adore?

CA: Yeah.

TA: Wait just a second. You wrote a song called “Ecstasy” about your girlfriend’s sister?

CA: Okay, when you say it like that, it sounds bad. It’s not ABOUT Adore, exactly. It’s about us TOGETHER.

TA: THAT SOUNDS WORSE!

CA: No! Like, it’s about how we go out dancing together, and the freedom that brings.

TA: I’m gonna call you out here. The lyrics are “I kiss your lips, leave it on your tongue--”

CA: I’m not kissing Adore! We’re kissing other people! Oh god, this is a losing battle, isn’t it…? (cracking up)

TA: I think this is between you and Bianca. I mean, you did kiss Adore in your video.

CA: Yeah, well, Bianca knows that was the only time. And she was there. And besides, Bianca doesn’t get jealous. Because hello? She’s Bianca del Rio.

TA: Ha!

CA: It’s true! She’s been with like, supermodels and Oscar winners. She’s not exactly in a position to feel threatened.

TA: So the rumors are true?

CA: You heard the part about seeing colors for the first time, right? (wink)

TA: And on that note…

***

“Oh god, I’m so full.”

“Maybe we should have stopped three Kit Kats ago..”

“No way.” Trixie shook his head and reached out, his free hand rummaging through the giant bowl of candy on the table. Trixie was laying on the couch, his head in Katya’s lap, his pants unbuttoned as his stomach was beyond bloated. He and Katya had decided to spend Halloween in, Ivan not old enough to go out trick and treating, so it seemed natural for them to not go out, to watch Halloween films and to give candy to the children who came to their door.

Ivan had had a great night, the little guy loving the fact that both of his parents were home at the same time, the fruit he was allowed to gorge on and that he was dressed up as an avocado, through Katya was pretty sure her son didn’t have a concept of the soft felt costume Trixie had sewn for him. There was one minor flaw in their plan though. Katya and Trixie had both forgotten that there were no kids in the building, and so they had ended up with enough candy to feed a whole army.

“Your stomach is so tight…” Katya smiled, her hand gently kneading Trixie’s tummy, her nails scratching his skin. “My sweet little sugar bum.”

“I think you mean sugar belly.”

Katya laughed, and Trixie joined her, his entire body moving as she leaned down to kiss him.

“I love you. I love you so much.” Katya gave Trixie another kiss, quickly catching his lip between her teeth, her hand gliding down to his open pants, her fingers sneaking into his underwear and wrapping around his cock.

“Nnh, nooo.” Trixie whined, the man squirming around.

“No?” Katya smiled, another sweet kiss landing on Trixie’s lips.

“I can’t move.” Katya could feel how desperately Trixie tried to pump his hips, his belly holding him down, her hand moving torturously slow.

“Did my big strong man eat too much candy?”

“No..” Trixie shook his head, and Katya sped up her hand, Trixie's mouth falling open.

“That’s what I imagined.” Katya smiled and grabbed a piece of chocolate to force between her husband's lips.