#i love the iterator walk mod

[love-triangles-au]

Gotta know, which Triangle is needier?

(Mod Minty let me steal her art for today's edition of the gay geometry channel. Say "thanks Minty for letting us see your gorgeous art!")

Bill, by a longshot!

Y'see, when he eventually realized that he actually does kind of give a crap about Venuz, he became aware of something: oh, no, a whole lot of people want my loved one dead. Sound familiar?

With that realization comes an immediate (and in his mind extremely embarrassing) trauma response. The last time he loved someone, they were taken from him brutally and unfairly, and the very nature of Venuz being the Gun God means that he is destined to eventually be succeeded.

Now, rationally, what happened to Liam was not at all Bill's fault -- his big brother was basically doomed from the moment he was born -- but as we all know trauma loves to make no sense. Because Liam was taken away while Bill was out, a part of him feels like if he had just been there maybe he could've done something.

And so we begin what we've dubbed the "separation anxiety arc".

He tries to bottle it up, god knows he does, because if Bill's good at anything it's pretending like everything's okay, but the moment Venuz goes to walk out the door it's like being hit with a bolt of lightning made of "what-if"s.

Luckily for him, the first couple times Venuz can just stay home or take him with him. Frankly, more often than not he goes to work as more of a way to keep the day interesting than anything else, but eventually it becomes clear that this is a serious problem.

The more the behaviour is enabled, the worse it gets, and the worse it gets the less Bill's excuses for his behaviour add up. Eventually, he lets it slip.

Once Venuz is aware, it begins to stress him out because there's nothing he can really do to help and he hates seeing Bill so uncharacteristically afraid. All he can really do is distract him at best, because he doesn't know any other way.

And then, one day, he has a lightbulb moment: vacation time! Far away planet (I dunno why but I've leaned towards Io, one of Jupiter's moons), no mortals, no guns. Bill really, really likes this idea, and so they hop in one of Venuz's 50 cars and, when they arrive, Bill finally feels a little better again.

Now, Bill doesn't have very much. As far as he's concerned, he's got his Veeny with him and they're perfectly safe right here. So, he basically pitches that they just stay there forever and live happily ever after.

But, they can't, and here's where another piece of our Gun God lore pops up.

The Gun God's power is tied to Venus itself, and he can't be away from the planet for too long without his powers fading. This prevents the Gun God from just dipping and living out in the deep recesses of space for all eternity, keeps the machine running so to speak.

So, they have to eventually go back.

We haven't got much further than this, but the current thoughts are that anxiety does get better with time (I have an anxiety disorder and know this firsthand), so that will likely ease him a little eventually.

BUT, where things get muddy here is that what Bill's afraid of isn't entirely irrational. Venuz is gonna get into gunfights, people are gonna come try to kill him, it's unavoidable. Thankfully, each Gun God tends to rule for a longer period of time than the last, because his skills only get better with each iteration. So, Venuz is very likely to keep his position for a couple thousand years at the least. But, the chance of him meeting an early demise is never zero.

I think the only way he's gonna get through this is if Venuz helps him through it, and even then I don't think it ever entirely goes away; dude's got like a trillion years worth of suppressed trauma, that doesn't just heal overnight. I think if Venuz is able to consistently prove that he's the best gunman on the planet that will gradually make Bill feel a bit better, but it would need to be consistent, like maybe Bill watches him train every day.

And, okay, when I said we hadn't gotten much further than this, that was kind of a lie; Bill's post-marriage activities very much revolve around this anxiety he feels around losing the fabled Only Guy He Cares About™.

With inclusion into the Yung family, he also becomes immortal and gains Venuz's powers. So, what's the logical thing to do with this newfound power, then? Begin an underground criminal organization dedicated to snuffing out possible competition before it can get to Venuz, of course!

The return of some of his power gives him the confidence that he can protect Venuz himself and that's when he forms his whole mafia operation. And, of course, Bill always thinks he's the smartest guy in the room, so he's often able to fool himself into thinking his plans are air-tight and cannot possibly fail and that suppresses his anxiety as well.

However, he does still sometimes have the occasional moments of doubt that result in full little kid meltdowns. He still needs occasional blanket time to calm down.

~ Mod Emily 🦇

P.S.: Sorry for the slowness on asks right now! It usually means we're wanting to draw something for it, so sit tight; we see you! :D

[cactusblossom]

Thank you @charmingmushroom for tagging me in this! I'm honestly excited to get to my answers because I loved yours so much! To anyone I tag, please don't feel pressure to complete this, especially if you have already been tagged, or honestly just don't want to! 💜 I tag @ohthesefaces, @kissalopa, @theworstsimblr, @simsdada, @igglemouse, @faeriefrolic, @lunelfy, @dragonplumbobs All of my answers are under the cut!

What’s your favorite sims death? This is a hard one for me, honestly, because I usually play with aging off because I don't want to deal with my Sims dying. Much like @charmingmushroom said about cowplants being a classic, I gotta say, I love that and death by meteor. I'm so glad that finally came back into the Sims 4 with the normal-sized telescope!

Alpha CC or Maxis Match? It depends on the version of Sims I'm playing! If it's Sims 4, I love the big, round, clay-looking CC. If it's Sims 3, I want the sharper, thinner, structured style of CC. I would say that Sims 2 is kind of in the middle of both styles. So honestly, I just try to match the aesthetics of the world and game around my Sims.

Do you cheat when your sims gain weight? Not at all! I try to match their lifestyle and character choices.

Do you use move objects? Oh yeah. I honestly couldn't play without it.

Favorite mod? More columns in CAS. It took me way too long to get on this train, but the more berry palettes I collected, the more out of control my hair and eyebrow swatches got. And as a tie for second, I absolutely could not play without brntwaffles' SweetFx or softerhaze's Sunblind in my game.

First expansion/game/stuff pack you got? So… I'm one of the people that got Sims 4 a few months after its launch. At the time, I was playing on a 2011 MacBook Pro, not made for gaming, and I was desperately playing The Sims 3 in Windowed Mode and restarting every 30 minutes to avoid crashing. If you guys know anything about Sims 3 and Macs, they were not made to go together. It was a whole thing. I've gotten the packs as they come out in order, which the exception of kits and Journey to Batuu. (I have that now, but I waited for a 1/2 off sale.) So my first was Outdoor Retreat, which is still one of my faves!

Do you pronounce “live mode” like aLIVE or LIVing? I used to always pronounce it like aLIVE mode, but since Sims Youtube blew up, I now say LIVing mode out of habit of what I hear.

Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made? At this time, Mentha from my Not So Berry (But Berry) challenge. This happened in the first version of her that I wasn't documenting before I lost my saves because of some of the updates, but after she made her freeze-ray, she walked up behind a coworker who was sitting and had no idea she was there, pointed the ray and whispered, "Dag-dag". Literally the highlight of my gameplay. She is WILD. I hope she does more things like this in this iteration of her!

Have you made a simself? I have! And I update her regularly. She's always a Witch or a Spellcaster, too! I'm planning to take some pictures of her and my wife's (@ohthesefaces) simselves for Pride this month! 💜 They're some of my favorite private gameplay that I have!

What sim traits did you give yourself? I also have a Simself in Sims 3, so I've got a few different traits. Sims 3: Neurotic, Light Sleeper, Loves the Cold, Avant Garde, Green Thumb Sims 4: Art Lover, Perfectionist, Squeamish It's a lot harder in Sims 4 with only three trait slots to start with.

What is your favorite EA hair color? cheese hair. Classic, iconic, weird. I love it!

Favorite EA hair? Honestly, this is tough for me because some of my favorite hairs are not EA. Shoutout to ClumsyAlien and Miiko who make CC I can't play without! But I have to say some of the updated Afro-textured hairs. Since I had Sims 4 when it first came out, not only were the options for Afro-textured hair basically non-existent, but they were carelessly made. Over the years, since they've gone in and redone some of those earlier textures and worked with creators to make new ones, I've really appreciated having those in my game. Guys, it wasn't always like this. lmao

Favorite life stage? I hate to be that guy since Sims 4 is basically a Young Adult simulator, but like, Young Adult. I'm closing in on the Adult life stage of my own life, and it's scary.

Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay? When I first had Sims 4, and because I played on Mac and was trying to limit my CC (aka, play CC free), I was strictly a builder. I didn't play as much as I built, but now that I have a PC and the space for my 50GB of CC (yes, that's right), I play too! And honestly, I don't even have lag. A lot of it is recolors, and I have limited actual mods, so my game runs beautifully still! I have really been into renovating EA lots lately, though.

Are you a CC creator? no. I wish, though. It's something I feel like I could get into, I just haven't put in all the extra effort to learn how to do it.

Do you have any simblr friends/a sim squad? I don't think I do--no disrespect to anyone who thinks otherwise! I just feel very new, still, and on the outside. Thank you again to @charmingmushroom for tagging me in something like this! It's so much fun and gives me warm fuzzies! 💜

What’s your favorite game? This is a huge category for me because I play a lot of other things besides The Sims! I'll just list some of my current favorites in no particular order that are part of my rotation right now. The Sims (obviously, and if we're talking strictly gameplay, it's Sims 2 all day, baby), No Man's Sky, Assassin's Creed: Odyssey, Stardew Valley, Skyrim, Red Dead Redemption 2, and Sims Medieval.

Do you have any Sims merch? I do, actually. I have a print from the game that I still haven't found the right frame for that my wife, @ohthesefaces, got for me for my birthday one year!

Do you have a YouTube for sims? No! I don't think I would be entertaining enough, tbh. And my god, how horrible would it be to hear my own voice??

How has your “sim style” changed throughout your years of playing? Since my CC explosion in the Sims 4, I've really gotten into Berry Sims! I can't believe I didn't know about it before when I played the Sims 3, but I wasn't on the Simblr side of Tumblr.

What’s your Origin ID? Pass on this, as I share it with my household.

Who’s your favorite CC creator? I have WAY too many, but there are definitely some I couldn't live without. I mentioned the lighting and overall color correction mods I play with earlier, but for some of the CC, I 100% always need tainoodles Sorbet Remix, anything and everything by miiko, anything and everything by clumsyalien, anything and everything by teekalu, anything and everything by treefish, and honestly, so many more that I can't think of right now. But those come to my head right away!

How long have you had a simblr? Only since August of 2022, but I've been on Tumblr since 2010. My other Tumblr is just art aesthetic though.

How do you edit your pictures? I don't have or use reshade/gshade, so all of my editing is done manually with the strong arms done by SweetFx and Sunblind. But I'm currently obsessed with Kaleeko's Clean & Clear, and early-grape's Glowe Kit.

What expansion/game/stuff pack is your favorite so far? I'll do one from each. EP: Get To Work. I love the active careers, ESPECIALLY the Scientist Career. Plus, aliens, helloooo. GP: Though I'm an Occult simmer, I have to say StrangerVille is by far my favorite. I love the storyline and having the tasks to do! Like most things with Sims 4, I only wish there were more. SP: Paranormal, hands down. With Tiny Living as a close second. They really nailed it with both of these Stuff packs and they were only $10?! As insane as them giving away Desert Luxe for free, honestly. Kit: Pastel Pop, 100%. That pack was made for me and I use everything from it way too often.

What expansion/game/stuff pack do you want next? Give me Faeries and/or give me Futuristic. But whatever they give me, please just give me gameplay.

[scham-wcan]

Hi mod ^^

Can we have cinwin weding (including the party) prompt pls?

Heyo! I love this prompt because it is such an interesting idea. So key people obviously to it are Emerald, Weiss, Mercury, Ruby, Whitley and so on

CinWin's wedding is sprung upon every corner of the 'family' as it can be. The pair of them decided it is better that it is just something "which happened" rather than something which was planned for to no end. The idea of getting Willow involved when she was in her prime "I HAVE KIDS I CAN LOVE" phase is just something too scary to be occurring, so she is left pseudo politely out of the loop. I think CinWin's wedding though is likely something that marks the end of an era for Remnant for liked or not. Regardless of who attends or is invited, it is the forces of evil meeting those for good in a space which is undeniably good.

Cinder and Winter obviously come from walks of life which the most zealous would argue aren't similar but everyone else can look at and argue they're in the same deep end. Cinder and Winter share an idea of being servants, incapable of really communicating their own choices, ideas, or objectives to anyone. Which following the war when they both have the realization that's gone I think they look at one another and see this warrior.

This WARRIOR. A warrior which is imperial in their skill, barbaric in their conduct, precise in their conduct, yet for all of that they are damaged. Damaged to the point where it is practically a mirror of their own. Where Cinder can see her lack of an eye in Winter's constant rephrasing of doctrine. Or Winter can feel Cinder's restrain in ever movement in combat. Where both and more iteration becomes something more than just a combat partner and becomes and ideological and philosophical partner; who sit by a fire and can discuss a new world==one which eventually, and quickly, becomes Cinder making an Obsidian ring for Winter.

My idea of this situation is CinWin's marriage and relationship happens before White Rose, because they have a love which reacts like TNT and fire vs a long term reactions. So Weiss and Ruby being in the wedding as maids for the bride and bride/groom is much more the maid of honour and the maids-woman who kiss on the dance floor. Ruby and Weiss are dating in quiet for the longest time but the wedding of CinWin is their realization that the war is over and they can finally stop their constant fighting and bettering and take a moment for stock--that stock being the partners the pair have earned. While Cinder and Winter similarly look out over whatever festiviaty their partnership has somehow 'earned' in their partnership and in their conjoined love somehow earned such celebration. I figure they suppoe their wedding should be quiet, they both (in their minds) are both awful and their only contribution to the world is stopping it from ending. (Which they'd likely argue 'oh but i helped whatever cause the world to end').

While everyone around the pair of them of them forever more thereafter is fighting for the idea of hope and praise that they helped stop it all.

Anyway, I have SO Many ideas for this concept. Than you so much for the ask, I am very sorry it is this long!

[homestuck-vocals]

What’s your opinion on the Broadwaystuck revival?

*I don't follow tags and have been in an "inattentive" phase for a couple months now so I'm not keeping up and idk how much of the following is ACTUALY relevant to this iteration. I do not know annnnything about Broadwaystuck 2023 other than it seems to be another 1:1 casted group. * I've been on record for years as not being a huge fan of the "Broadwaystuck model" where there's an "official cast" where each character is voiced by only one person, other than for a specific project with a deadline such as a musical or planned album. I think that it might result in:

driving away interested parties cause their fave is taken. It's exclusive by design

conflict over casting, which has historically been big drama

lagging collaboration because e.g. everyone wanting a Vriska* number depends on The One Vriska's personal course schedule and workload, not to mention interests and range

similar issues if someone goes inactive without telling anyone, anything regarding that character just comes to a halt and you have to put mod energy into that situation

which is a concern for a project billed as producing things on an *indefinite* basis. there will be turnover, and this model always looks like it struggles with that possibly because of point 1

lots of effort on advertising recasts, auditions, and callbacks, when The One Vriska drops out, *after* you've told all the other Vriska singers that she's taken and they've lost interest

IMO, self-duet like "Past Me, We're Going Down" and the Karkat x Karkat "Loathing" are so much better because there's two voices! I LOVE hearing VAs for the same character together. You don't get that if you've already told all the other VAs for that character to keep walking.

*just picked vriska cuz she's so popular

I have clicked through a lot of dead group blogs where the last dozen posts are repeat attempts to cast and re-cast, and I remember the drama in 2012 about who got to be e.g. Official Broadway Nepeta. And I remember personally applying for Broadway Kanaya in 2012 and then going o well didn't get cast :/ and never trying again. I mean I could have struck out on my own but there's reasons people like to be in a collaborative network for this sort of thing.

I got the sense that it kept being replicated in group after group not because it was functional (original Broadwaystuck lasted like. four? five months? end of 2011 to april? 2012?) but because of how bright it shone, and glittered with (some preexisting) BNFs, while it briefly worked. One of the most common reactions I see in the chat of a listen party I'm hosting is "we should remake Broadwaystuck!". It's undeniable that the project had huge impact. I'm not sure that means that its successor in *impact* will or should operate the same way.

to be fair we apparently did Not At All solve this with whatever we tried with Universe C# after 2019 SAHcon, i think (hope?) in part because Discord is such a clumsy and dark platform for what we were doing. I think it's great that the current project is back on Tumblr, which being on the clearweb (make sure those blogs are search indexed!) is much more accessible to curious passers by than a locked Discord. It's also better than Twitter because Twitter is outright hostile to audio creators. Anyway the ideeeeeea there was that you would record samples for as many characters as you wanted, creating a bank of actors interested in each character as reference for collaboration, plus whatever the hell you wanted to do as an individual, so theoretically you could @tag all the actors for a given character at once for a highly targeted casting call for the specific song you wanted to make!

But this other way of doing things didn't get going. It may be that one of the upsides to the casted model is that there is a sense of a Job To Do that motivates actually producing things more than a casual free for all. I mean, everything I have actually made was because articulatelyComposed needed one more mezzo for a deadline. save for my Candy!Dave "Edges Of The World" that i Do Not Have The Fucking Range For. Chaotic tenors, call me I think the new project has folks with experience on some of those old casted projects so maybe they will iterate on some of the shortcomings. whether my opinion on organization structure is *relevant*? no, i'm not in the group AND folks actually in the group have more direct experience with similar groups than I do. i'm just someone who does data entry as a hobby.

this does all make me want to brush up some of my old WIPs

edit: firsthand feedback on how BS23 works

"part of my job on staff for the project is to set out the base structure of our albums and when songs are released and how in certain cases. we set like… a skeleton of the album we're going to make with a set end point and certain things at certain points (you cant fight the homestuck being track 100 of volume one and thus the album's closing number, track 50 of the current album being beautiful [the song], stuff like that.)

we haven't had any conflict over casting as of yet, least not that I'm aware of. some people dropped out but people drop in too, and people shuffle around based on interest or might volunteer to do a part thats missing from a group number. we've got handling and rules for inactivity and all that. collaborations arent always quick, especially the bigger the group involved, but its not because anybodys got a line or whatever?

this isnt like an official statement but its all technical details so i think its fine."

[themanwiththeplan05]

Once again, it is me, here to shove unfinished art I don't think I'll ever go back to down your throats. Here goes!

I'm making multiple posts with unfinished art relating to different fandoms I like to consider myself a part of. This one is for The Stanley Parable, and features some arachnid/bug parts on characters, so... ya.

Tw for mentions of spiders, bugs, and existential dread. Arachnid art and explanations under the cut.

Homestar Runner post here

Rock on! \__/,

The first pic was supposed to be the second prompt of Stannarratober (remember that?) where they both were dressed up. I still have a fic idea similar to that, but it won't be done anytime soon.

The second was a ribbon eel design I had for the Adventure Line since I wanted to make an underwater AU of TSP, but I didn’t go anywhere with it and completely forgot about it.

The third was going to be the cover for my fanfic "File Directory" but the writing itself took too long and I decided to abandon it.

The fourth was going to be a design for the HL2 Mod version of The Narrator.

The next one was going to be the background for a school project rap song (I'm not kidding) I made with another student. It would have been between The Narrator and Glados from Portal, and Stanley would have walked around this test chamber. No, I do not have the file it was written on, and yes, we both preformed it. No, it was not good.

This one would have been for a thumbnail for a PMV I would have made of my TimeKeeper/432's lore. As seen in the image, it would have been to TMBG'S "The End of the Rope" but I never even started it. It would have fit, I promise.

Now here's an explanation for the arachnid themed drawings!

These are two notebook sketches I made of Stanley and The Narrator, with a bonus Curator (based on a praying mantis) to get a feel for their designs. The bottom drawing is also (in my opinion) my best drawing of my Narrator.

This would have been a lineup of all my different Narrator designs (one for each iteration of the game) as seen by HL2 Narrator. I would have made one for each other character as well, including Curator and Stanley, but this one took too long so I gave up.

I was going to make a proper reference sheet for my Narrator design. I both regret and love that I based him on a spider.

This one was just made as a blinking test, since I'd never animated before that.

So yeah, that's about it. I'm done now byeeeeee

[aziraphales-library]

Hello, I’m looking for a really good reincarnation fic I can’t find.

The premise is that instead of having their set corporations, Aziraphale and Crowley just get reincarnated over and over again in human bodies. But they don’t have their memories since they are born, they gain them back later in life. And for some reason they keep reincarnating near each other and their human versions keep falling in love with each other and getting romantically involved before they get their memories back, so sometimes they get their memories back and the two of them are already married with children while still being mortal enemies.

I would also like recommendations for other good reincarnation fics. Thanks

Hi. Not sure on your specific lost fic, but here are some possibilities and a bunch of great reincarnation fics for you!...

You're Human (Re)incarnate by Cryptand_Bismol (M-E) (Series)

Reincarnation series, where Aziraphale and Crowley have been cursed to live and die as humans. Unbeknown to Heaven and Hell, the curse only partially works, causing the pair to be reincarnated over and over. Their memories may start wiped with each iteration, but they always remember each other, and their past, eventually.

Good Omens Soulmates AU by SlyKing (NR, G) (Series)

In this Alternative Universe, Aziraphale and Crowley are soulmates; they reincarnate at different times and always find each other.

From the Top (Say Your Lines Once More) by CoffeeStars (T)

Crowley lives and dies and wakes up to repeat the cycle. And every single time Aziraphale is there, a different face and new memories.

Doubt Thou The Stars Are Fire by Princip1914 (E)

“Oh God,” Aziraphale said to the empty bookshop, pouring himself another drink, “Oh, Lord, tell me, if we had been humans together, with short lifespans and squishy bits and all that.” Aziraphale interrupted himself by hiccupping. “Would we have fallen in love? Are you listening lord? If you hear me, give me a sign, please, I beg you.”

Unfortunately, or fortunately--one can never really say in such ineffable circumstances--the almighty was, indeed, listening.

Single-Use Lives by hanap (E)

Things go horribly wrong when it turns out Agnes Nutter's prophecy isn't what Crowley and Aziraphale thought it would be. They were expecting to be destroyed. Instead, Heaven and Hell strip them of their immortality and their memories of each other - but Heaven and Hell don't know that they've switched bodies.

Now human, Crowley and Aziraphale run into each other on Earth for the first time - again - and again - and again. It doesn't take them long to figure out that there is something very strange going on.

over and over and over again by NaroMoreau (T)

Crowley finds his soulmate and he should have been ecstatic. Except the mark is on the picture of a noble dead at least two hundred years ago.

The Book of Prometheus by lyricwritesprose (T)

As far as Ezra Fell knows, he's an ordinary bookseller who has no reason to be so strongly attracted to the strange man in dark glasses who comes in looking for an old book. And he certainly has no reason to pursue that connection after the man goes away. He's doing it anyway.

As far as Crowley is concerned, Aziraphale was completely destroyed in 1656. But then he came back again. And again . . .

They meet in late 2007. They don't know how close they are to running out of time. They're about to find out.

Pray For Us, Icarus by Atalan (G-T) (Series)

For three centuries, Crowley has been reincarnated over and over as a human with no memory of his past. Aziraphale has tried to find a way to restore him to his true self, but all he seems to do is hurt them both. This time, he only means to steal a brief moment when he walks into Crowley's flower shop. But Crowley can't let it go...

- Mod D

[links-destiny]

Top 10 favorites:

The Walk of Shame is right up my alley

General Grievious, to which my friends are freaked out by his cute little spider crawling.

To those that know, I’m glad I stopped talking about this man months ago so y'all could shut it about his grussy, istg.

He’s 7'1 and yes, I call him nakey whenever he takes of his cloak. Don’t @ me about it.

Obigrievous because Enemies to Lovers

Yes, he’s a damn coward a lot of the times but I love how amazing he is. Duel wielding and keeping trophies from the many Jedi he has killed,, and his asthmatic voice that’s one cough away from combusting, I love.

And his backstory, that’s fucked up.

Rip Gor, you shall be missed. Those Jedi should have never fucked you up.

Thel Vadam, The Arbiter, aka core childhood memories of playing Halo with my brothers.

His voice acting is amazing af, but it took me so long to realize he has the same va as the cat from Coraline. Like, you fucking go, Keith David.

Thel is also not immune to my friends’ jokes because that one time he was stripped to get branded the “Mark of Shame” and a couple comments on his grussy was made.

Also that other time where Master Chief and him were ensnared by the Gravemind,, yeah that was something.

7′9 ft, and I’m the embodiment of that one drunk dude meme where he stumbles out of his trailer, drink in hand.

Do I even need to explain myself here with Doctor Octavius? I swear to god, if I see one more edit talking about the shit relationship I have with my dad that caused me to love Doc Ock, I’m going to fuck that editor up-

Anyways, what’s there to iterate about him? He just radiates dilf energy, mad scientist vibes, and is 6'2. Alfred Molina is a godsend, enough said.

Definitely was the only villain in New York confident enough to have his tiddies out on display-

I’m sorry but the scenes where he smoked a cigar or took off his glasses with the assistance of the tentacles really did something,,

And don’t get me started on some of his cartoon variations from Spectacular Spider-Man and Spiderverse.

The amount of propaganda I’ve spread to my close circles of friends that they too, are starting to agree that he’s hot. I don’t even know how

One last note but screw that one Discord friend that asked why the fuck would I love “a fat man with glasses that would definitely kill me” because that dude is one step away from getting knocked the fuck out.

Din Djarin = Dilf

Like I love this man and his sad puppy dog eyes. Pedro Pascal, you play this lone space ranger well.

I don’t know how to explain but The Mandalorian are just,,

Also definitely the moment where “hm, strange how I also love Boba Fett and all the other 501st Clone troopers… IS IT SERIOUSLY THE FUCKING ARMOR-”

Heisenberg is just another dilf, mad scientist vibes and it blew my mind when people say him and Doc Ock are the same person, different font.

I went to my first college Halloween party in my bootleg Wrench cosplay. Dude, the host’s boyfriend was cosplaying him and I managed to get a pic of us together. It was so fucking rad, serotonin booster for sure.

This man has this big showmen announcer voice, sometimes he has a purr. It just sounds so fruity.

I love him so much and don’t get me started on the “I said sit” scene. Ethan should have helped this hefty man out.

What? I definitely did not see those YouTube videos where people added shirtless mods to Resident Evil 8. What are you talking about-

Wrench from Watch Dogs 2. This man had me thinking “wow, do I actually have a thing for characters that wear masks?”

He’s a chaotic bisexual and his bromance with Marcus just means so much to me. Like you can not tell me that this man wasn’t harboring a small crush, because you’d be capping.

I do have some cosplay pics where I took inspiration from Wrench’s design on Instagram and nearly died when Shawn Baichoo liked and commented on the post.

Also Wrench’s reasoning behind having the mask makes me want to hug him.

That one mission where Marcus was adament about getting his mask back from the feds, meeting up with him, saying how he won’t allow this shit to tear them apart,, AUGH! I LOVE!

I feel like it’s super apparent that my type can range from nonhuman, masks, dilf, or himbo. Regardless, I’m slapping FL4K on this list.

Nonbinary icon to the max, respect the they/them pronouns or you’re gonna be their Skag’s next meal.

I guess I always loved those types of characters that are kinda dramatic while spouting some nonsense about death and destruction. Their va sounds so cool.

I kinda got attached when my brothers and I were playing Borderlands 3 for the first time, and they were my pick.

Avengers Assemble Hawkeye, totally a bi-icon, I don’t make up the rules. This also goes for his EMH ’s variation, MCU can kindly back off.

He’s just such a cool, somehow competent dumbass. Plus he’s in my favorite color too!

While many of my comfort characters go through the bi-fication beam, Hawkeye doesn’t need to, especially in that episode that first introduces Hyperion.

Homie was so dang confused on why this new superhero kept winking at him, and was the first to want him on the team. At the end of the episode, he was then comforted by Black Widow who said that Hyperion tricked them all because “power can be seductive”

LIKE EXCUSE ME!?

Alright, hear me on this but: bisexual, dilf, dumpster fire of a man. It’s like a triple threat wambo combo.

I love how disorderly this man looks.

He’s just so fine, and I can’t wait to see the new Spiderverse because that damn trailer got me all hyped up.

Technically a two-in-one but we’re going to decide in ignoring that. Paul Monroe A.K.A Jesus and Javier Garcia, I love them so much.

Jesus, both from the show and video game are such fucking badasses and it’s really refreshing to see that with that pos gay representation.

You go, modern day ninja! Do that flying kick at a walker’s head in your beanie trenchcoat attire!

As for Javier, he’s my beloved man who I figured out months ago is my hispanic bi rep that I needed so much of.

I’m sure a lot of people can relate that when you’re LGBT+ in a conservative minority culture, it can be scary and you wonder if people can thrive being who they are out in the world.

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #193

Today on Fate and Phantasms we’re building the new guy everyone knows and loves, Prince Nezha! They’re an Ascendant Dragon Monk for their fire wheels and spear skills, as well as a Strength Cleric to pick up all those sacred treasures they get while still being the stabby stabby bot we all adore.

(I’ll be perfectly upfront right now; we did not have the time to read through Investiture of the Gods and Journey to the West to make one character, so they’ll be getting all the sacred treasures that we found while binging OSP’s videos on the latter. Also, lots of anti-demon stuff. You don’t need first-hand knowledge of a series to know that the “Demon-Hacking Blade” probably has some anti-demon features in it.)

Anyways, check out their build breakdown below the cut, or their character sheet over here!

Next up: The Mysterious Miss Moolah!

Race and background

Nezha’s more clay than metal, but they’re still hanging out in an artificial body, that’s a Warforged. They get +2 Constitution and +1 to any stat, so +1 Wisdom, as well as Constructed Resilience, so you don’t have to eat, drink, breathe, or sleep, don’t get sick, and have advantage and resistance to poison effects. Instead of sleeping, you take a Sentry’s Rest, spending 6 hours awake but not moving. You also get Integrated Protection for +1 AC. There’s more to it, but you’re a monk, you don’t use armor anyway. Finally, your Specialized Design gives you proficiency in one skill, I picked Animal Handling for the same reason I grabbed it for Nero. If you can “handle” the king of the monkeys, the rest should fall in line.

I meant beating him up, don’t be gross.

You respect your coworkers, which means to mortals you’d probably be an Acolyte, which gives you proficiency with Insight and Religion.

Ability Scores

Wisdom comes from making mistakes, and dear god have you made some doozies, so make that number one. Second highest should be Dexterity, you can fly, but only by balancing on wheels. That’s a high-stakes highwire act. Your Strength is next- going toe-to-toe with the monkey king requires a lot of it. Your Constitution is also above average, the zhenren sages don’t skimp on their designs. This means your Intelligence will be a bit low since we don’t need it for the build, but we’re dumping Charisma. There’s a bit of a disconnect between you and others, and also you have a lot of self-loathing issues to work through, which just makes hanging out a bit awkward.

Class Levels

Monk 1: Starting off as a monk gives you plenty of goodies, like proficiency in Strength and Dexterity saves, Acrobatics for balance, and History. I cannot emphasize enough about how all these servant builds should probably just get free history proficiency. You also get Unarmored Defense, which adds to your Integrated Protection for a total AC of 11+ your dex mod + your wisdom modifier. That brings your current AC up to 16 for a start, not bad. You also get Martial Arts so your monk attacks deal at least 1d4 (which grows as you level up), can use your dexterity instead of strength, and if you make one of those attacks as your action you can make another attack as a bonus action. Spears are simple weapons and versatile, not two-handed, so you’re in the clear.

Cleric 1: We’re gonna bounce over to cleric right away to become a worshiper of Strength. When you become an Acolyte of Strength, you learn one Druid cantrip, and gain proficiency with another skill- in this case, Athletics. For your free cantrip, grab Shillelagh. I know it says club or quarterstaff, but just hold the spear backwards. If gives you a d8 for damage, turns the weapon magical, and you can use Wisdom to attack with it instead of dexterity or strength. While we’re on the topic, you also get Spells now that use your Wisdom to cast and prepare. That means you don’t have a hard and fast spell list, but you can switch things up each long rest. For cantrips, Spare the Dying gives you beans of immortality that you can pop into a creature’s mouth as an action to stabilize them. You also get Sacred Flame for sacred flames, and Thaumaturgy to show off your celestial origins. As a strength cleric you’ll always have Divine Favor and Shield of Faith on tap, but you can also use Detect Evil and Good and Protection from Evil and Good for demon fighting.

Monk 2: We’re not going to focus on cleric too much though, we have martial arts to learn. At second level, you get Ki points equal to your monk level each short rest, letting you attack twice, dodge, disengage, or dash as a bonus action. You also get Unarmored Movement, adding to your speed as you level up.

Monk 3: At third level you can finally set down the Way of the Ascendant Dragon, making your fists a lot more fiery. You’re now a Draconic Disciple as well as a cleric, so when you hit a creature with your fists or feet you can deal bludgeoning damage as normal, or acid, cold, fire, lightning, or poison. Obviously fire is the most in character, but there’s probably a baobei that works for the other elements if you really want them. You can also spend your reaction to re-roll a failed intimidation or persuasion check, succeeding once per long rest. I guess Nezha can be kind of scary when they want to be. You can also use the Breath of the Dragon, replacing one of your normal attacks with a cone or line of acid, cold, fire, lighting, or poison damage, forcing a dexterity save against your ki save (DC 8 + proficiency + wisdom modifier), taking 2 rolls of your martial arts die on a failure, or half as much on a success. If that monkey king’s modern iteration can get beam weapons so can you. You get Proficiency free uses per long rest, but you can use it more by spending 1 ki point per use. Finally, you can react to someone shooting you with an arrow to Deflect Missiles, reducing the damage, If it’s reduced to 0, you can spend a ki point to launch it back at them.

Cleric 2: Back into cleric for a hot second. Second level clerics can Channel Divinity in one of two ways per short rest. Turn Undead makes nearby undead run if they fail a wisdom save, but you can also use a Feat of Strength to add +10 to an attack roll or strength check/save. The Zhenren really don’t mess around.

Monk 4: Fourth level monks get their first Ability Score Improvement, so improve that Wisdom for a higher AC, better shillelagh attacks, and stronger fire powers. You also learn how to Slow Fall as a reaction so falling off your wheels isn’t quite as big an issue.

Monk 5: Fifth level monks get an Extra Attack per attack action, bringing your total in a turn up to two with just an action, three with your martial arts bonus action, or four with flurry of blows. You can also turn those attacks into Stunning Strikes by spending ki. This forces a constitution save on the creature you just hit, stunning them if they fail until the end of your next turn.

Monk 6: Sixth level monks get Ki-Empowered Strikes for magical unarmed attacks. If you’re fighting a triply immortal monkey it’s best to prep as much as possible. You also get the reason we’re here in the first place, Wings Unfurled. Now when you use your ki points to dash as a bonus action you get dragon wings for a turn, giving you a flying speed equal to your walking speed until the end of your turn. If you’re in the air, you will fall, but to be fair Nezha mostly uses this to go like, 20 feet up and divebomb someone, so it’s not a huge restriction. You can fly Proficiency times per long rest, or by spending a ki point each extra time you use it.

Monk 7: Our final level of monk gets you Evasion for better dexterity saves. You probably know the drill by now- failures are now as good as most people’s successes, and successes negate all damage. You also get a Stillness of Mind, letting you end a charming or frightening effect as a bonus action. Just hit ctrl alt delete on BeScared.exe, not hard.

Cleric 3: Now that your training is complete, it’s time to quest for all those sacred treasures. Starting off strong at third level, you get second level cleric spells, including the freebies Enhance Ability and Protection from Poison. You can also make a Spiritual Weapon to summon whatever demon-slaying tool you might need, creating a floating weapon as a bonus action that’ll move around and deal force damage if you use it each bonus action for up to 1 minute. Alternatively, you can use Hold Person to summon the Diamond Snare/Wukong’s headband/The five Golden Rings (there’s a lot of sacred treasures that focus on immobilization) to force a wisdom save on one humanoid. If they fail, they’re paralyzed for a while, or until they succeed on a save. Paralysis is nasty too, it gives attacks advantage to hit plus guaranteed crits when they do.

Cleric 4: Use this ASI to bump up your Dexterity for better unarmed strikes and a better AC. You also get the Light cantrip to use your fire constructively.

Cleric 5: Fifth level clerics get a boost to Turn Undead, “turn”ing it into Destroy Undead instead. If a creature of CR 1/2 or lower gets caught in it, it’s just gone. You also get third level spells like Haste and Protection From Energy. Either get out of the way of the beam weapons, or shield yourself from them. Alternatively, grab spells like Spirit Shroud for a more heavenly aura, or Speak with Dead. You can literally just go to the afterlife to talk to them, what like it’s hard?

Cleric 6: You can now Channel Divinity twice per short rest, and you can also use that divinity to give out Rhonas’ Blessing! It’s like feat of strength, but it has a range of 30′ instead of self. You’re not the kind of person to hang out with weaklings.

Cleric 7: Seventh level clerics get fourth level spells. Dominate Beast is Wukong’s headband but for all sorts of creatures, and Stoneskin... yeah. You can also use Death Ward for an actual immortality bean that prevents one case of koing, Guardian of Faith to call in a favor from another celestial, or Banishment to make Lao Tzu take his goddamn pets back. If the target isn’t from another plane, they’re just gone for about a minute.

Cleric 8: Eighth level clerics get another ASI to max out your Wisdom for the best attacks, good defense, and stronger spells. Destroy Undead bumps up to CR 1, and you get a Divine Strike once per turn, adding 1d8 of an existing damage type to your weapon attack. They don’t call you “lancer” for nothing. Actually they do, you should be called “spear-er”, I guess.

Cleric 9: You get fifth level spells! Your freebies are Destructive Wave and Insect Plague, which aren’t super in character, but they do sound like something a sacred treasure could do. You can also call down a Flame Strike for some real fire power, turn your spear into a Holy Weapon for even more damage, Dispel Evil and Good to roll protection from E&G and a faster banishment into a single spell, or you can Summon Celestial to call down a coworker to help out. You get either an Avenger or a Defender, the former dealing more damage and the latter giving allies temporary HP.

Cleric 10: At tenth level you finally get a direct line back home, letting you call them up for some Divine Intervention. It’s a percent chance based on your cleric level, but if you succeed it’s basically up to the DM how much help you get. You can do this once per day, or after a week when it works. You also get the Resistance cantrip. You’re tough, it tracks.

Cleric 11: Destroy Undead hits CR 2, and you get sixth level spells. Planar Ally summons a celestial coworker for as long as you can pay them, but be prepared, it can be steep. You can also use Sunbeam for more fire.

Cleric 12: Use your last ASI to bump up Dexterity again. You know the drill, more AC, better unarmed attacks, the works.

Cleric 13: Your final level gets you seventh level spells, letting you Conjure Celestial for a much cheaper celestial companion that’ll stick with you for up to 1 hour. You can also Plane Shift to visit the heavens for yourself.

Pros and Cons

Pros:

Flight is always good to have, event if it’s a limited trial version like yours. Hop over to where you should be, and keep out of range of anyone you don’t feel like fighting.

Strength Clerics are basically war clerics but better, and Feat of Strength will make it really easy for you to grapple, lift, push, or just be the powerhouse of the team.

Clerics are really versatile casters, getting healing, buffs, utility, and damaging spells, so your spell list will always be handy. On top of that, your dragon fists let you pick your element when you hit people, so you won’t be completely hosed by fire resistant enemies.

Cons:

You have limited resources for your best abilities, with only 7 ki points and 2 channel divinities per short rest. Wings Unfurled might let you instant transmission, but you won’t be able to spam it like they do on Dragon Ball Z, sorry.

For a strength-focused subclass, your strength score is pretty underwhelming. Sure, you can use Feat of Strength to power yourself up, but odds are there’s someone else who could put Rhonas’ Blessing to better use. Learn to share, it’ll help.

You also have a really low charisma, so don’t be surprised if you get into fights more often than you’d think. Also, it’s a good thing you got plane shift at level 20, because you might get banished a lot.

[thestuckylibrary]

A Year in Reading: 2019 - Blue

So real life kind of kicked our asses in 2019 and we weren’t able to keep up with the monthly Mods’ Reads posts. We’ve gotten some questions about them and we still intend to keep them a thing, hopefully, in 2020. But for now, this will have to do. Below the cut is everything I’ve read in the past year:

(It’s a long list and I may have missed some things we try and warn for, so make sure to check tags and warnings on any fics that catch your eye <3)

January

Slainte mhaith by Speranza (oneshot | 1,180 | M)

Under the Bridges of Fame by alby_mangroves, notlucy (complete | 89,678 | E)

For better or for worse (usually worse), Steve Rogers has been the most famous guy in the room for a while. And though newsreels have given way to YouTube, people’s reactions haven’t changed much in seventy-some years. Steve’s become an expert at keeping his head down and getting on with his life.

A head-on collision on a busy street sends books flying and sweeps Steve off his feet. The point of impact has a name: James. A charming mess of long hair, thick glasses, and a crooked, not-quite-smile. If he recognizes Steve, he chooses not to comment, placing him firmly in Steve’s good graces.

As far as Steve can tell, they might be Bogie and Bacall all over again, save for the group of idiots with selfie sticks who surround them. But for once, the request isn’t for Steve.

Which begs the question: if James is James, then who the hell is Bucky?

So, You’ve Adopted a Fruit by Nejinee (complete | 17,769 | E)

Steve knows that Bucky’s trying his best to stay whole in this new modern world. Then Bucky finds a struggling little scraggly creature and decides immediately to wrap it up in his open heart and take it home. It’s a bit bizarre seeing a former assassin taking to something so small and helpless, but to Steve it all makes sense.

Part 1 of 2 lovestruck idiots and a dog

Sandy Cheeks by Nejinee (oneshot | 4,227 | T)

A day at the beach with Steve, Bucky and Blueberry.

Part 2 of 2 lovestruck idiots and a dog

The Job Between Here and There  by Pohadka (series, ongoing | 182,404 | M)

He might be free from HYDRA’s command and making his own life now, but James Buchanan Barnes is far more lost than he’d ever been before. Nothing matches the vague memories he’s recovered so far, and the world has progressed far beyond needing soldiers. To find out what he wants, and how to get it, he just needs a little… Leverage.

all systems snot by galwednesday, silentwalrus, skellerbvvt (oneshot | 2,962 | T)

They don’t let you suck dick in quarantine.

A Hatemance For The Ages by BetteNoire (WeAreWolves) (series, ongoing, restricted | 28,750 | E)

This is what happens when you find your soulmate… and instead of birds singing and roses blooming, you discover they’re an insufferable jerk. But an insufferable jerk that you low-key really want to bang, if nothing else because MAYBE THEN THEY WOULD SHUT UP.

Features the worst, most annoying iterations of Cap!Steve and Modern!Bucky. There is nothing these two wouldn’t do for each other… out of spite.

[A series of occasional short fics that I write when I just want snark and hate sex]

The Department of Special Collections by alby_mangroves, Speranza (oneshot | 4,867 | T)

It was a messy thing of leather and papers and rope. It looked like Phillips had carelessly thrown a bunch of documents onto an old piece of black leather and then rolled the whole thing up and tied it … The papers inside were all different sizes, everything out of order and haphazardly stacked, like someone had been in a hurry and just grabbed it all.

love is blind (steve and bucky are just dumb) by talkplaylove, wearing_tearing (oneshot | 4,409 | T)

“You shouldn’t have interrupted their date, then,” Natasha pipes up, finally showing her face as she gives Bucky a wave and a tiny smile. “I like the hair.”

“Thank you.” Bucky preens a little. He ignores the teasing about this being a date; Nat and Sam somehow got it into their heads that Steve and him were dating via Skype calls. They’re not. They’re just friends who video call sometimes. Friends do that.

Part 3 of Happy Steve Bingo

Part 1 of men with no plans

i love him and our goat children by talkplaylove, wearing_tearing (oneshot | 5,526 | T)

“Bucky, why does Sam have a photo of you surrounded by goats and the words “Always be happy with Jesus” on it?” Steve asks, looking at him on the screen.

Or the one where Steve and Bucky move in together, adopt some goat kids, and live happily ever after.

Part 2 of men with no plans

Part 4 of Happy Steve Bingo

February

Treasured by Dira Sudis (dsudis), Sealcat (complete | 24,609 | M)

When everyone in town became convinced that a dragon really had come again to the Old Lair, and that the town would have to offer it tribute, they all looked at Steve.

Honestly, he was relieved.

The Joy of Little Things by obsessivereader, Sealcat (complete | 29,744 | E)

"Do you want me to eat you?"

“No, but—” Steve broke off his instinctive response. All his life, he’d believed in doing what was right… he was not about to stop now. Wincing at the prickling pain in his feet, he straightened up to his full height. “Yes. If it means you’ll leave this place.”

"But you don’t look very filling." The tip of the dragon’s tail twitched. "I don’t suppose you’re a virgin?" he asked hopefully. "I’ve heard they taste better."

Steve gritted his teeth and refused to answer. The dragon could very well find that out for himself. He stared at the dragon. The dragon stared back. Then the dragon got up, turned around, and went back into his cave.

"Well? Come on, tribute."

or, how Steve ends up working for a dragon with a very odd sense of humor

It's A Funny Story... by perfect_plan (oneshot | 6,009 | M)

Bucky just had the most mind-blowing sex of his life with a handsome stranger and nothing can ruin his day. That is until he goes out to breakfast with his room mate to meet Sam's best friend who just moved to town.

total eclipse of the bark by Deisderium (oneshot | 2,627 | T)

Steve's first day at the flower shop, he walks into the break room to find an extremely large and muscular man having a breakdown because his dog is sick. Only an asshole wouldn't try to comfort that large and muscular man.

Karma's A Fake Orgasm by gracie137 (complete | 51,653 | E)

There’s another abandoned mug, festering with mould in the living room — Steve offically has the world's worst roommates. And complains about them. Often. Bucky, tired of his lack of action, decides it’s time to avenge Steve's sleepless nights and unsanitary conditions once and for all. They’ll pretend to be the world’s most annoying couple: excessive PDA, loud fake sex, and general repugnance. The plan sounds easy enough; it will be strictly platonic. Or will it?

Part 1 of Revenge Is Best Served Horny

A minor misunderstanding, solidarity, and reunion by owlet (oneshot | 2,456 | T)

Barnes should know better. Lidia should charge her phone.

Part 8 of Infinite Coffee and Protection Detail

Licence To Thrill by roe87 (oneshot | 4,153 | M)

James is a Russian spy, ordered to take down American agent Steve Rogers.

Steve is an American agent, ordered to take down Russian spy James.

But when they first meet, things take a different turn.

(Or, a spies meet cute)

You Can't Take the Sky from Me by LeisurelyPanda (oneshot | 6,259 | M)

Captain Bucky Barnes and his crew were flagged by an Alliance ship after innocently minding their own business during an illegal salvage operation. It's not Bucky's first scrape with the oppressive, bureaucratic Alliance military, and it won't be the last. However, most Alliance vessels don't send someone so... adorably susceptible to Bucky's charms to interrogate him.

Steve was conscripted into the Alliance at a young age. He's been around long enough to know that it's not what everyone said it was when he was conscripted. A dashing rogue in his interrogation room, however, offers what might be his only chance at escaping this life.

It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year by stevergrsno (noxlunate) (oneshot | 5,186 | E)

“You should come over for a drink.” Christmas Stealing Hot Neighbor says instead of answering Steve’s very valid question.

“I really don’t think I should. Sounds like fraternizing with the enemy.” Steve says, even as he’s abandoning his tree and moving towards the gate.

“Look at is as a know thy enemy thing instead,” Christmas Stealing Hot Neighbor says before flashing Steve a smile and oh, oh no, Steve is screwed.

Aka Steve Rogers is competitive, Bucky Barnes is into his hot new neighbor, and Christmas Feelings ensue.

The New Super by gr8escap (oneshot | 3,001 | T)

Steve Rogers is trying to get comfortable in his almost affordable apartment and the New Superintendent of the building is a cruel distraction.

Part 6 of Happy Steve Rogers - [Bingo]

10-94* by gravesecret, softcorehippos (complete | 38,817 | E) *graphic violence

Late at night, when the city sleeps, they race.

Bucky Barnes owns a garage and race for pinks, Steve Rogers is an FBI Agent with a lot of people to prove wrong.

Destiny Knows Better by Polska_1999 (oneshot | 4,251 | T)

When Steve woke up after the ice with a new soulmark, and one that offended him no less, he made it his personal promise to hate the person that the universe chose to replace Bucky. Shame that the universe didn’t quite get the memo.

Part 9 of Sprint Towards Blackout (Happy Steve Bingo 2018)

Sergeant Hot Pants by cleo4u2 (oneshot | 11,798 | E)

When Sergeant Bucky Barnes is assigned to temporarily take over for Maria Hill, Steve can't quite keep his shit together. Not around Bucky, who is the hottest Alpha Steve's ever seen.

Lessons Are So Cold by herecomesbucktofuckshitup (complete | 57,575 | E)

Steve knows that he's small. He knows that someone has to go undercover at the local high school, and he knows that he was the right person for the job. He just wishes he wasn't. And Steve really really wishes that the cute boy he'd hooked up with the night before his mission hadn't turned out to one of his teachers.

Patience by cleo4u2 (oneshot | 5,073 | M)

You should never Google yourself. Steve knows that, he's been out of the ice for over a year, but he just can't help himself. After finding a gorgeous, sexy brunette thirst tweeting about calling him Daddy, he can't help himself from responding, either.

We Are The Lucky Ones by blithelybonny (oneshot | 28,563 | E)

The Soldiers will be drift compatible -- of that, there is no question. They were bred for perfect synchronicity; two halves of one whole, one mind in two perfect bodies.

But they cannot be allowed to remember. The drift may be catastrophic.

Seashore by Speranza (oneshot | 505 | not rated)

No Kind of Life by Speranza (oneshot | 1,995 | not rated)

"You know I have to do everything the hard way, Buck. It’s the fundamental fact of my nature.”

The Gentleness That Comes* by doctormccoy (oneshot | 8,566 | M) *sex work

Steve Rogers never really views the things he had to do to get by before the War with any sort of shame or embarrassment. People ask him for his opinions on modern issues in interviews, but Steve has gotten good at talking around those types of questions. Fury insists that there's no way to answer them without casting a shadow of controversy across the reputation of the Avengers, and that's the last thing Steve wants.

But then a sex tape is released featuring Tony Stark in bed with another man, and Steve can't stay quiet any longer.

Expressive Force by Avaaricious (oneshot | 3,795 | T)

AKA the "You punched me in the face while gesticulating wildly to a friend" AU

Part 1 of Meet-Ugly

Bite Your Tongue by Avaaricious (complete | 34,193 | T)

AKA the "I work at a department store and if you take out and unfold a shirt and then leave it one more time I'm going to stuff it down your throat" AU

Part 2 of Meet-Ugly

March

Misdemeanor by Avaaricious (complete | 9,140 | G)

Based off this tumblr post by peterssquill:

Some cop, unlucky enough to pull over Captain America of all people: Sir um could I see ur... uh... license?

Steve Rogers someone who never bothered to get one: ....no

Part 6 of Meet-Ugly

P.O.W. by Avaaricious (oneshot | 20,420 | T)

AKA the "You're strapped to a table in a lab and I've come to rescue you, but you think you're hallucinating and kiss me" AU

Part 5 of Meet-Ugly

Part 1 of Fixed Points

The New Super by gr8escap (oneshot | 3,001 | T)

Steve Rogers is trying to get comfortable in his almost affordable apartment and the New Superintendent of the building is a cruel distraction.

Part 6 of Happy Steve Rogers - [Bingo]

Seashore by Speranza (oneshot | 505 | not rated)

Fan the Flame by Avaaricious (WIP | 253,880 | M)

AKA the "I thought you were a dude-bro and meant to swipe left on Tinder but I slipped. We matched and now I'm stuck talking to you" AU

Part 4 of Meet-Ugly

Heckin' Chunker for Love by canistakahari (oneshot | 2,708 | T)

On the inside of the big floor to ceiling window of the office across the street, someone has used Post-it Notes to spell out a message:

W H A T I S Y O U R C A T ’ S N A M E ?

Like Playing With Fire by GoldBlooded, LeisurelyPanda, wilfling (complete | 33,567 | E)

James is heir to his family's business, brought over from Mother Russia by his great-grandfather in 1917. In 1918, an Irish organization also moved to Brooklyn, a little too close for comfort. They've been rivals for over a hundred years, and it can get pretty stressful. Sometimes James needs to blow off some steam, and if a handsome stranger named Grant wants to do the same, James certainly isn’t going to say no.

Steve, heir to the Irish family, has never met James Barnes. But they all know that he's an arrogant, dangerous enemy without honor, as evidenced by the way the Russians are crossing lines again. On the way to a 'meeting' between the two families, Steve doesn't spare his counterpart a single thought... because his head is swimming with a man named Bucky and the earth-shattering night they've just spent together.

How will Steve and James cope when they find out they're sworn blood enemies? What happens when the 'meeting' is sabotaged by an unknown third party? Will the Irish and Russians be able to look past ancient, ingrained hurts for the sake of survival? More importantly, will Steve and James be able to ignore the ever-growing attraction between them?

I’m a Sucker for a Wild Boy by jinlinli (complete | 9,897 | T)

Steve is a vampire who’s never met a werewolf in his life before. Bucky is a werewolf who doesn’t even know vampires exist. Naturally, neck biting means two very different things to them.

In which Steve goes for a midnight snack and accidentally gets himself werewolf married.

The Very Heart of It* by merryofsoul (restricted, oneshot | 17,743 | M) *graphic violence

In which Captain America adopts a dog from Bucky and they become friends — and then more.

A Piece of Silly Affection by Reccea (restricted, oneshot | 11,687 | E)

Steve looked good, He looked hale and hearty and uninjured in his leather jacket, too-tight shirt, and jeans. He got off the motorcycle and his movements were graceful and fluid - no obvious signs of injury. He took off his helmet and --

Oh.

Steve had a beard.

Bucky’s mechanical hand spasmed oddly.

Life of the Party by AggressiveWhenStartled (complete | 21,689 | E)

“You know, kids,” Steve heard from the backyard, “one of the most common threats a superhero has to face is inside an active volcano! We’re going to have to work on your evasion skills, so for the next five minutes, the floor is lava!” This was met by a sudden spike in both volume and pitch from the small children as they scrambled onto every raised surface they could find and immediately launched themselves right back off.

“I’ve never seen actual lava in my entire life,” Steve said, vaguely offended.

“You got a superhero impersonator for The Falcon’s niece’s birthday party,” Sam said, incredulous. “The Falcon, who is an actual superhero.”

#TweetMeDaddy by StarSpangled (Senforza) (oneshot | 4,127 | T)

Coulson, for his part, stares up at Bucky with such a betrayed look of frozen horror that Natasha actually goes the extra step and presses another button, capturing the moment and airdropping the photograph to her phone for posterity. When he speaks, his voice comes out as a hoarse whisper. “Why…?” He swallows and starts again, trying for some semblance of normality. “...Why would you tweet something like that?!”

“If you must know, sir,” and somehow he manages to make ‘sir’ come out with the same inflection most people reserve for ‘motherfucking son of a bitch’, “it’s because I have a difficult time doing my job when my job involves monitoring the man with the best fucking ass in the United States of America.” He slowly lowers himself back into his seat until he’s at eye level, making extreme eye contact with Coulson until Coulson turns away to make mortified eye contact in Natasha’s general direction through the one-way glass. Natasha would take another picture, if she weren’t too busy catching Steve’s red-faced sputtering. “Sometimes, I vent to my Twitter followers. Sometimes, it’s about hot men with washboard abs. Can I go now, or do you need a graphic description of how I pleasure myself at night?”

Bad Moon Rising by spacebuck (complete | 57,533 | E)

Bucky Barnes is a lot of things:

- a nurse - the owner of a dorky dog that's too big for his own good - a lot older than he looks (by a lot more than you’d guess) - one of the last born-werewolves of his generation (namely due to point number one)

He's also one of the most powerful werewolves in New York City, not that he uses that power for more than keeping up with his work and playing with his dog.

But, when the once-in-two-hundred-years lunar event known to wolves as the Triple Moon comes along, Bucky's more than a little peeved to get to Central Park to find cloud cover blocking the majority of the power the moon is supposed to be giving him.

And then he finds an unconscious man in a clearing.

He doesn't connect the two, though in retrospect he should have - witches are sneakier than they appear.

much tattoo about nothing by Deisderium (oneshot | 14,579 | E)

Steve Rogers gets a lot of email requests, but never one like this: James Barnes wants to use his healing factor to practice tattoos.

Turns out tattoos give Steve boners.

April

My Arms Were Made To Hold You by portraitofemmy, rainbow_marbles (oneshot | 55,101 | E)

Tired of being kept awake at night by a screaming baby, Bucky decides to take matters into his own hands. Mostly he wants a good night's sleep, but what he gets is a beautiful baby boy with big blue eyes, a lonely father trying to move on from tragedy, and a chance at a family he never expected to have.

Part 1 of Never Let You Go

Coming Up Aces by greenbergsays (oneshot | 1,771 | E)

Bucky Barnes is a charismatic, flirty asexual man that lives with his awkward pansexual best friend, Steve Rogers.

Part 7 of Tumblr Ficlets

Don't Let the Tide Come and Wash Us Away by alittlewicked, hey_you_with_the_face (oneshot | 10,039 | E)

There was a man standing in the shop. A man with Steve’s leather jacket wrapped tight around him – or at least a jacket that looked like his seal skin.

Anyway.

A really beautiful, young man with a strong build and broad shoulders was standing in the doorway. His wispy brown hair framing an expressive face with beautiful pouty lips, an adorably cleft chin, and steel grey eyes that remembered Steve of the stormy seas of Ireland, of his ancestors’ home.

Steve was unabashedly staring (sue him, it was his shop).

Or: the one where Steve, the selkie with a coffee shop like they wished they had at 2 Broke Girls, gets accidentally selkie-married to Bucky, the dryad who just came back from an extended tree time, and they are both just idiots in love at first sight.

The Roommate by layersofart (layersofsilence), Niitza (complete | 28,632 | T)

In which Steven G. Rogers, a.k.a. Captain America, gets a roommate. Who rapidly turns into his "roommate"—in the euphemistic sense of the word.

It takes SHIELD and the rest of the Avengers an absurd amount of time to notice.

Make My Wish Come True (all i want for christmas is you) by chicklette (complete | 27,516 | M)

Steve's spent his whole life pining for Bucky Barnes. Why should this year be any different?

A Holiday fic that begins on New Year's Eve and wraps up on Christmas Day.

Cause & Effect by Avaaricious (complete | 25,810 | T)

When Bucky falls from the train in the Alps, Steve will do whatever it takes to mount a rescue mission, consequences be damned.

One possible outcome continued from my fic P.O.W.

Part 2 of Fixed Points

And So It Goes by Avaaricious (oneshot | 9,267 | not rated)

Life goes on for Steve and Bucky as they enter a new century, but there are fixed points in the universe; things that are destined to play out a certain way no matter what.

Part 3 of Fixed Points

come as you are by silentwalrus (WIP | 10,897 | E)

Steve comes back to the States. He pursues truth, justice and the American way. Bucky comes back too. He pursues inebriation and intercourse.

Part 3 of Bucky Barnes Gets His Groove Back & Other International Incidents

Just This Once (The Everybody Lives Remix) by Dira Sudis (dsudis) (oneshot | 6,808 | T)

A way it could have happened.

Ain’t Gotta Hide This Heart of Mine by yourekindof_weird (oneshot | 3,882 | G)

“Uh, so listen, Steve,” Rebecca says. She seems nervous now and she’s biting her lip, “I don’t want to, uh, come across as rude or anything, but I don’t think a relationship between us would work out,” Rebecca fiddles with the straw wrapper from her cranberry juice, “Mr. Stark sort of sprung this on me and I agreed because I was sort of startled,” she makes eye contact with him, “but I’m actually pretty gay, so…” Steve can’t stop the sigh of relief that makes its way out of his mouth. ... Steve has been dating Bucky Barnes, an ER nurse, for over a year. None of the Avengers (excluding Sam) know about this. It leads to the Avengers (mainly Tony) trying to set Steve up on dates.

Kiss Me Once Again by ShowMeAHero (oneshot | 1,171 | T)

Steve’s quiet for a moment, then says, “I’m sorry, Buck.”

“Why?” Bucky says. “It’s been half a minute for me.”

Blood Is Thicker Than Carpet Cleaner by Alexicon (oneshot | 5,872 | T)

Just because it had been a joke didn’t mean it was a bad idea. Steve opened the phone book to the business section and searched fruitlessly for the right entries for about six minutes until he finally came across ‘Cl’ by sheer luck when a few pages stuck together as he turned them.

For some reason, his eyes were immediately drawn to a small, bleak ad in the corner, with only a few words, a phone number, and a thin black border.

The ad’s content:

“Winter’s Cleaning Services. Fees paid half up front. Specializes in blood removal.”

Well. That was. Specific.

Steve Rogers is Captain America, a superhero. Bucky Barnes is the Winter Soldier, an assassin. Steve needs someone to clean his apartment. Bucky shows up to a meeting with a potential client. Neither of them got quite what they expected.

Part 7 of marvel works

May

before we can breathe easy by belovedmuerto (oneshot | 22,052 | T)

No one touches Steve.

Bucky sets out to do something about that

Check, Mate? by talkplaylove-art (talkplaylove), wearing_tearing (oneshot | 1,938 | T) (reread)

A notification from Check, Mate? blinks back at him. Steve’s heart speeds up when he opens the app and then his face breaks into a blinding grin when sees what’s waiting for him.

James likes him back.

Part 1 of endgame

Part 5 of Happy Steve Bingo

Check, Mate! by talkplaylove, wearing_tearing (oneshot | 13,097 | E)

Bucky gasps and stares down at his crotch, sex-addled brain making it harder for him to focus on what the fuck is going on. Steve himself takes a second to realize what the fuck just happened, but when he does, well.

“Did you just fuckin’ knot me?” Steve asks, eyes wide and voice loud with shock.

Or the one where Steve and Bucky meet on a dating app, and everything happens way faster than anyone expects.

Part 2 of endgame

You Will Meet a Stranger by spitandvinegar (restricted, oneshot | 3,061 | M) (reread)

When the mask falls off Steve recoils.

He'll never forgive himself.

Idioglossia by hotelmichelle (oneshot | 20,434 | M)

“James and Steve. If I have to tell you one more time to stop talking, you will be separated. Do you understand?”

Bucky stares up at Mrs. Wheatley with the face that gets him out of trouble when his ma is in a good mood. Steve becomes suddenly fascinated with his correction work. It would have been convincing enough, if their papers weren’t blank.

Or: Steve and Bucky make up a secret language

Part 1 of secret language 'verse

My Arms Were Made To Hold You by portraitofemmy, rainbow_marbles (oneshot | 55,101 | E)

Tired of being kept awake at night by a screaming baby, Bucky decides to take matters into his own hands. Mostly he wants a good night's sleep, but what he gets is a beautiful baby boy with big blue eyes, a lonely father trying to move on from tragedy, and a chance at a family he never expected to have.

Part 1 of Never Let You Go

Don't Let the Tide Come and Wash Us Away by alittlewicked, hey_you_with_the_face (oneshot | 10,039 | E)

There was a man standing in the shop. A man with Steve’s leather jacket wrapped tight around him – or at least a jacket that looked like his seal skin.

Anyway.

A really beautiful, young man with a strong build and broad shoulders was standing in the doorway. His wispy brown hair framing an expressive face with beautiful pouty lips, an adorably cleft chin, and steel grey eyes that remembered Steve of the stormy seas of Ireland, of his ancestors’ home.

Steve was unabashedly staring (sue him, it was his shop).

Or: the one where Steve, the selkie with a coffee shop like they wished they had at 2 Broke Girls, gets accidentally selkie-married to Bucky, the dryad who just came back from an extended tree time, and they are both just idiots in love at first sight.

Super Soak That Ho by silentwalrus (oneshot | 1,434 | T)

It all starts with them going to a movie. “Let’s see this one,” Steve says, pointing to the listing for ARRANGERS: RAGE OF MEGATRON. “It’s supposed to be based on a true story.”

“Fine,” Bucky says. They go to the movies.

This is crack, guys. Expect no redeeming features here.

liquid measure by silentwalrus (oneshot | 2,594 | M)

Just a normal domestic afternoon with two supersoldiers.

sneeze disease by silentwalrus (oneshot | 5,540 | M)

Bucky starts to believe in a vengeful god on May the twelfth, year of our Lord two thousand and fucking eighteen, because that’s the day he makes fun of Clint Barton for carrying around a dainty little packetful of tissues in his pocket and honking into them like a congested donkey every fifteen minutes. “Fucking polleb,” Clint swears, wiping at his watering eyes. “Fucking claritin. Fucking zyrtec. Fucking bastards, all of dem.”

“What’s happened to your pokeymen now?” Bucky asks distractedly, not looking away from where Natasha is very slowly setting the last Joker on her vast, exquisitely balanced house of cards.

“Dat’s not - dey’re not pokémon,” Clint says, aggrieved. “Dey’re drugs. And dey don’t work for me.”

couples therapy by silentwalrus, skellerbvvt (series, ongoing | 19,275 | E)

“You can be rougher,” Bucky says. “If you want.”

They’re about four minutes post orgasm and Steve is still trying to figure out where his legs are. “Muh?”

snackfic by galwednesday, silentwalrus, skellerbvvt (series, ongoing | 12,300 | G-T)

Convenience series for my off the cuff ficlets, largely unrelated to each other or my other works unless stated otherwise

death of an artist by silentwalrus (oneshot | 2,237 | G)

our intrepid heroes take a day trip to sunny, idyllic Giverny.

ain't really quaint by quietnight, silentwalrus (complete | 44,045 | M)

Natasha stops by on a Tuesday, early enough in the morning that it would have been late by Steve’s old standards. Now, though, it takes him nearly three minutes just to limp to the door, yawning, and when he opens it he has to lean heavily on the doorframe.

“Hi,” Natasha says, over the beginnings of birdsong. She’s not alone. “Can we come in?”

Part 1 of farm hell

You Sure Are Looking Good by Defiler_Wyrm, the_genderman (oneshot | 7,002 | E)

When your boyfriend’s a werewolf, some roleplay scenarios just fall into place so naturally. Bucky’s got some fancy lingerie, a danger kink, and a Red Riding Hood roleplay brewing up. Steve’s ready, willing, and eager to play his Big Bad Wolf.

at first chance i'd take the bed warmed by the body by spacebuck (oneshot | 8,238 | E)

This close, Steve can see exactly how beautiful his hands are. He’s never really noticed before, or at least he’s never really had a reason to notice, but the man’s hands are large, tanned like he works outside all day. There’s an endearing callus on the heel of one of his palms, and Steve can’t quite work out when calluses became endearing.

Steve pauses the video. Swallows hard. Casts his eyes around for anything that’ll keep his mind off the hands on his screen, off the words inked into those hands, the delicate shape of a bird’s wing, the curling edge of a vine.

He looks down. The name of the channel is right there, blaring the man’s name right into Steve’s brain until it feels like he’s known it all along.

Bucky Barnes.

OR: the one where Bucky's a youtuber who solves puzzles on camera, and steve's smitten and horny

Chlorophyll by Plumcot (series, ongoing | 19,095 | T)

Steve Rogers doesn't have time for your fancy relaxation. He doesn't have time for your comfy pillows, or your body wash, or your chamomile tea that tastes like plant matter with a side of "why". Steve Rogers only wants one thing in life; to work until the end of days, because at least then he can say he didn't waste his time on Earth doing nothing.

Bucky Barnes has flowers in his hair and chlorophyll in his skin, and he doesn't have time to be stressed. Why would he, when there's rain to dance in, sun to bask in, and philodendrons to talk to? So he is, understandably, very worried about his (sadly) human neighbor who wouldn't stop and smell the roses if he faceplanted in a flower bed. Obviously something must be done.

Steve isn't all that happy when a green-skinned stranger shows up at his door and tries to give him a plant.

June

get it together by silentwalrus (oneshot | 2,089 | T)

“You wanna go out?”

Boeuf Mystère by galwednesday (oneshot | 1,230 | T)

“Quick question,” Bucky said.

Steve looked up, but didn’t stop moving passports and stacks of cash into a nondescript blue duffel, his mind busily ticking through logistics. He’d grab the glock taped behind the hidden drawer in the desk on their way out, and they could buy new clothes once they got across the border into neutral territory, so they didn’t need much else, apart from whatever Bucky wanted to bring. One duffle should be enough. “Yeah, honey?”

“What the fuck.”

Part 12 of Tumblr ficlets 2018

Part 1 of Steakout au Poivre

The Sins of Our Fathers* by inflomora, noirhound (complete | 33,943 | M) *graphic violence

His family called him Bucky.

The arenas in Athens called him the Winter Soldier.

The Spartan Brotherhood calls him Iakov. He defends the light from the dark that once coursed through his veins.

When the location of the Tesseract—a powerful Piece of Eden—is made known to the Brotherhood by a pair of Assassins from Athens, it is up to Iakov and his men to secure it before the Order of Hydra does, and it will take the cooperation of both Bureaus to succeed. His job is not made easier when he finds himself falling for his commanding officer, a certain blond Athenian Assassin who hides a powerful secret.

But they are not the only ones after the Tesseract. With the fate of the world hanging in the balance, a dangerous enemy looming unseen over their shoulders, and nobody left to trust, they must find and bring the Tesseract to Athens before it falls into the wrong hands—that is, if they manage to survive the trip.

Part 1 of Death is A Debt (We All Must Pay)

might never be normal again (but who cares) by napricot (complete | 51,540 | E)

The beginnings of a plan took shape in Steve’s mind, as clear and simple as a tactical frontal assault. He’d prove to Bucky that this was it, he was staying: Steve was retired from the fighting game, Steve wasn’t going to let anything keep pulling them apart. Maybe then when Steve finally told him he loved him, Bucky would believe him.

All things considered, Steve thought he’d handled the whole Thanos killing half the universe thing and the ensuing bitter, desperate quest to defeat him pretty well. Sacrificing his super soldier serum to use one of the Infinity Stones wasn't a problem either, not when it meant getting back the half of the universe they'd lost, and especially not when it meant getting Bucky back. But retirement and finally confessing his feelings for Bucky? Those were proving to be more challenging.

can't hardly weight by stevergrsno (noxlunate) (oneshot | 3,760 | T)

When Steve Rogers woke up in the future he was given a phone and shown how to use social media.

Well, no, in all actuality he was given a two week crash course entitled The Future And You, a six hour sensitivity course, a brand new id, and a credit card.

In which Steve gets a crush on an instagram gym thot and laments over it a lot to the intern stuck with him.

The Art Of Cooking For Two by littleblackfox (complete | 92,761 | M) (reread)

“Any questions?” “Uh. What the fuck am I doing here?” Bucky offers.

I just met you (and this is crazy) by littlesystems (complete | 41,784 | E)

After Steve gets outed by a grainy cell phone picture, it takes the media less than 24 hours to discover Captain America’s secret relationship with James Barnes: classical musician, teen heartthrob, and son of a former president.

The only problem? Steve has never met James Barnes in his life.

Part 1 of I just met you (and extras)

All of Your Love is Sunlight by canistakahari, WarlockInTraining (complete | 22,657 | E)

Sometimes the path to happiness involves bad timing turned good, a butt plant, and a little everyday magic. For Steve and Bucky, it's all that and more.

Dirty Pics by lillupon (oneshot | 3,117 | M)

There’s this one guy Bucky slept with three months ago who still sends pics of his ass whenever Bucky asks. What can he say? Grant’s got an ass that just won’t quit.

Hey, Asshole! A New York City Love story by bunnymaccool (oneshot | 14,818 | T)

Bucky's running late for the bus and he's stuck in line behind some ridiculous shoulder to waist ratio bastard who's too busy flirting with the baristas to get his frickin' order in. After he tells the dude off, completely in his rights he feels, the damn oversized puppy-faced ass keeps following him around and trying to apologize. And okay, dude is hot like burnin', but Bucky just doesn't have the time or patience for soothing the wounded ego of some gymrat wannabe with an obsession for dressing like he's hiding from the mob and .... why are you laughing, Sam?

Part 1 of New York City Assholes

Snapshots by layersofart (layersofsilence), newsbypostcard (oneshot | 18,579 | M)

Steve picks up the picture to be sure of what he saw, but there's been no mistake. "It doesn't even have a Navy stamp," he says, turning the photo toward her. "What is this?"

"Are you asking me?"

"It looks like a pin-up."

"Yes," Natasha agrees. "It does."

---

Post TWS: Steve is trying to find Bucky. Instead, he finds the sexy Navy "propaganda" Bucky somehow never mentioned he modeled for before the war.

I Wished On The Moon For You by stevergrsno (noxlunate) (oneshot | 14,581 | T)

“Holy shit,” Sam says, and then delighted, “Holy shit. You look like my nana’s dog. This is incredible.”

“Yeah, funny that, when they gave him the serum it only really worked on the human bits.” Bucky, whose reaction to Sam thus far has been standoffish at best, and like a wolf whose territory has been invaded at worst, sounds amused, the asshole.

Steve growls a little.

Or rather: A story in which Steve Rogers is the littlest werewolf who could and Bucky Barnes comes in from the cold and makes him his home.

Love in a Time of War by cleo4u2, cobaltmoony (complete | 20,775 | G)

James Barnes is a world renowned opera singer who has dreamed of performing in an opera composed by Steve Rogers. When his dream finally comes true, he quickly regrets what he’s always wished for. But while Steve can’t stand James, Bucky can’t stop wishing they could have some kind of future together. Will Steve realize he’s wrong about Bucky? Or is the damage from their first meeting too much to overcome?

Brooklyn by togina (oneshot | 8,749 | T)

"Captain America, what's your stance on gay marriage?"

Everyone knows that, by now. Everyone but Bucky.

I [Heart] You by writeonclara (oneshot | 1,138 | G)

“Steve’s been hit with a curse,” Natasha said. She said it calmly, so Bucky didn’t immediately go flying out of the apartment to tear apart the Tower in search of Steve. Then again, Natasha would probably be calm if New York City spontaneously burst into flames. He lowered the coffee pot and squinted at her.

“Of course he has,” he said. He felt, abruptly, exhausted. “What is it?”

“The witch kept ranting about sexual repression and archaic moral principles,” she continued blithely.

“It’s not like you to prevaricate, Romanov.”

Natasha pressed her lips together. For a moment, Bucky thought she might start laughing. “It might be easier just to show you.”

OR: Steve’s been hit with a rather telling curse.

Ruff Day by ellebeesknees (umetnica), emptydistractions (complete | 20,570 | M)

Bucky's life is a mess: The US government's been breathing down his neck ever since his trial, the Avengers are a constant pain in his ass, and putting his brain back together hasn't exactly been a walk in the park. This wasn't exactly what he had in mind when he fled Hydra.

He's doing okay, but what he doesn't need is any extra stress. And what he definitely doesn't need is for Steve to tangle with an amateur sorcerer and end up a massive, overly friendly, eighty-pound, shedding, slobbering dog. That Bucky's now responsbile for. For the foreseeable future.

But hey, silver lining. At least now Steve can't talk him to death.

This Side by brideofquiet (restricted, complete | 35,321 | T)

Bucky Barnes restores antiques for a living. Steve Rogers saves the world. Bucky has no reason to believe their paths will ever cross, right up until they do.

Or: the Notting Hill AU.

Behold, a Man by leveragehunters (Monkeygreen) (oneshot | 9,296 | T)

At sunrise tomorrow, Bucky knew he was going to turn into a rooster. He wasn't sure if it was better or worse knowing it was coming. What he did know was that it didn't matter where he slept: his room, Steve's room, Stark's lab—it was going to happen. The curse of the were-cock had struck and there was no escaping. As the elevator carried them back down to their floor, he started chuckling.

Steve gave him a look of concern.

Bucky waved it away. "Just thinking. Curse of the Were-cock'd probably make a lousy movie."

Steve snorted, then said thoughtfully, "I don't know. Maybe it depends on what sort of movie you're making."

Rusted Gate by hafital (oneshot | 19,677 | E)

How many times has he replayed this scene? The young private, the forest path, the rusted gate. Steve and him. This last chance to tell him. He knows what’s about to happen. Why can’t he tell him? How many times has he tried to change how it ends? Maybe this time, he can get it right.

Honestly, Fuck Brooklyn by stfustucky (iwillpaintasongforlou) (oneshot | 8,243 | E)

So, aliens are attacking and have shredded Brooklyn to smithereens, which pretty much makes it a typical Tuesday afternoon in New York. Bucky Barnes, long time Brooklyn resident, has Been There and Done That. What's less typical is the redhead who breaks into his apartment to rescue him, the underground bunker he's stashed in, and the sudden appearance of masked superhero Captain America kissing Bucky breathless and calling him baby. Good thing Bucky knows how to throw a punch.

((Or, the one where it takes yet another apocalypse for the somewhat oblivious Bucky Barnes to figure out that his dorky artist boyfriend Steve is actually Captain Goddamned America. Whoops.))

I saw you there, I saw you then by cleo4u2, xantissa (oneshot | 19,320 | E)

An accidental slide of a thumb brings Steve and Bucky back together.

Art Nouveau by voluptuous_panic (oneshot | 12,246 | E)

Steve's on the worst date of his life. At least the bartender's cute.

No One Wants Your Opinion by thepinupchemist (oneshot | 5,600 | E)

Wherein Bucky loves to cuddle Steve Rogers, Steve comes out on national television for the sole purpose of spiting conservative politicians, Tony sees things he wishes he hadn't, and Pepper doesn't know why she even bothers.

July

Honey Honey*  by justanotherStonyfan (series, ongoing | 544,594 | E) */others, past but explicit

The kid is maybe, oh, twenty years younger than him? Clean-shaven, and looking out of the corner of his eye at Steve in the same way Steve feels he must be looking at the kid – i.e., like he wants to do any number of unmentionable things to him.

Because boy does Steve ever want to do unspeakable things to this kid.

AKA, the Accidental Sugardaddy!Steve AU I always wanted.

Through The Woods by alby_mangroves, VenusMonstrosa (complete | 64,082 | E)

There’s a legend in Mansewood, nearly as old as the town itself, about a pack of werewolves that once lived in the forest. They say only one survives; a monstrous and snarling beast with fur like a blizzard and fangs the size of daggers. They say it guards the lands and all creatures in it, and no hunter has faced it and lived to tell the tale.

Steve doesn’t care about any of that. He only wants to know if it prefers T-Bone or ribeye, and would it please stop tracking dirt through his house? He just mopped the floor.

Part 1 of Through The Woods

streamlined by nickel710 (series, ongoing | 56,248 | G-M)

In which Bucky Barnes, Iraq war veteran and bicycle enthusiast, streams Overwatch on the side for fun under the handle President15, and one day his friend-of-a-friend FalconKnight introduces a new player to the crew, THECapRogers. It would be totally absurd for the actual Captain America to hang out in his stream and argue about baseball, right? ...right?

BuckRogers vs. the Internet by galwednesday (series, complete | 5,642 | T-M)

“Remember what I said about internet trolls?”

“Don’t feed the trolls.”

“Exactly. Did I not say the same thing to Barnes?” Tony asked rhetorically. “Were those not my exact words? I could have sworn they were, and yet.”

“Bucky’s feeding the trolls?”

“He’s throwing a goddamn seven-course troll banquet. Every time someone on Twitter asks if your relationship announcement is real, he replies. Colorfully.”

Steve opened his mouth to ask what “colorfully” meant, then caught the gleam in Tony’s eye and put two and two together. He blushed. Colorfully. “Oh.”

(Steve and Bucky announce their relationship in a very dignified press conference. Bucky then replies to every goddamn tweet asking him to confirm it with a different dirty euphemism. Things escalate from there.)

Just About Half-Past Ten by rohkeutta (oneshot | 1,978 | T)

But as he reaches Madison Avenue, Stark Tower a mere block away, the skies open with a whoosh, and he barely manages to duck under the construction scaffolding perched over the sidewalk. Thunder rumbles overhead, and Bucky frantically checks every compartment of his bag for an umbrella he knows is there.

It’s not. He does find some loose glitter, though, and a lipstick he wore for Pride and had thought he’d lost, plus a spare MetroCard he can’t remember buying.

He also gets a crystal clear flashback of leaving the umbrella under his desk to dry yesterday morning, and never picking it up again.

Leave Those Umbrellas At Home by rohkeutta (oneshot | 2,441 | T)

Bucky watches the watery snow come down and thinks about it, his mood deflating steadily. He imagines Steve going home the next morning, sitting down at his desk and opening his Super-Secret Sexcapade Journal and writing Bucky’s name in next to a carefully-thought Preparation & Performance Grade.

B+ for the effort to look nice naked, C- for being embarrassingly vanilla and wanting to do it face-to-face so he could scritch his fingers through Steve’s beard and hair. Not worth a repetition. Kinky Grade: F.

Bucky’s being uncharitable and he knows it, but Hangry Barnes can be a sad sack of shit when he wants to.

Page One Rewrite by thedoubteriswise (oneshot | 3,008 | T)

World War II enthusiasts and film geeks rejoice! Much like the Sentinel of Liberty himself, a few reels of missing Cap footage have been brought back to life.

We're All in the Gutter, but Some of Us Are Looking at the Stars by chipofftheoldblock (complete | 45,045 | M)

I’m sorry, sir,’ he said, and Maria looked a little appeased, though now she was gesturing for him to get off stage. And then he smiled real big and wide and sincere and said, ‘Guess I’m just real fuckin’ tired of everyone treating me like an idiot. To answer your question, ain’t a lot I really miss. Polio was pretty fuckin’ awful, and so was the food, and the racism and homophobia and hatred so many folks had for one another for dumb-as-shit differences was so goddamn stupid -’

Maria was suddenly on stage beside him, pulling his microphone away and grabbing his arm with a steel grip. Steve just leaned over to Nat’s mic with a shit-eating grin on his face and said, ‘Thank you so much for your time.’

Steve's tired of the world treating him like he doesn't know a damn thing about the future. Bucky's tired of not knowing a damn thing about the past.

They meet somewhere in the middle.

when he gets older, he might be the one* by cobaltmoony, CoraRochester (complete | 32,398| E) *underage

In which a freak run-in with the Cosmic Cube ages Steve into his fifties, and Bucky— still trying to figure out who he is after decades of brainwashing— decides it’s time to come home.

Part 1 of when he gets older, he might be the one 

crowding the hitter by rooonil_waazlib (complete | 12,917 | E)

But the trash monsters are coming closer, and Bucky’s going to be pissed if he has to get his grate replaced tomorrow.

He turns off the panini press, heads into his bedroom, and pulls his college baseball bat out of the closet, pausing only to pull on the slacks he’d just taken off. He’s going to go defend his shop, and he’s not going to do it in his underpants.

Nobody Likes Unsolicited Dick Pics (Except When They Do)* by Blondie_Bluue (complete | 21,864 | E) *chose not to warn

When Bucky Barnes accidentally sends a dick pic to a wrong number while looking for a little action, he never expected to get a positive response.

Feelings are caught, drama ensues, things work out in the end

i'm a ghost, you're an angel (one and the same) by voxofthevoid (complete | 31,133 | E)

“You fucked him.”

Bucky licks his lips and nods. Fury lets out a deep breath and leans back in his chair in a movement that’s terrifyingly controlled but spills danger out the edges.

“Twenty years,” Fury says slowly, taking special care to imbue each word with his personal brand of bone-chilling judgement. It used to make Bucky quiver in his boots back when he was a baby S.H.I.E.L.D agent with two functional arms. “In that time, I have asked, threatened, coaxed, and damn near begged this man to work for us, or at least with us, and what finally gets it done is your dick?”

“Ass.”

“Excuse me?”

“Listen, I’m not saying any part of my anatomy is what persuaded Commander Rogers to agree to this, but hypothetically, if that’s what did it, let’s just say he would have found my ass far more persuasive than my dick.” Bucky pauses, secretly relishing the sour-lemon look on Fury’s face. “It still hurts, in case you’re wondering.”

- Steve tries to seduce Bucky over to the dark side. But the Avengers are more grey than dark, and it’s still a paler shade of grey than what S.H.I.E.L.D’s got going nine times out of ten. Bucky really should be more concerned about the seduction part.

Part 2 of i'm guilty of treason (i've abandoned control)

turn me up when you feel low by faerietell (oneshot | 13,891 | T) (reread)

Steve Rogers is a man out of time, in a city that used to be his home, a city he no longer recognizes. Through charming radio host, Bucky Barnes, he relearns his city, adopts a dog, and falls in love.

August

A lot of Good Omens reading happened in August.

When the Season Comes Around by theheartischill (oneshot | 34,447 | T)

The other problem is that Steve loves him, and Bucky isn't sure he remembers how to love.

Despicable by TheVagabondBoy (series, ongoing | 8,450 | T)

Bucky Barnes just wants to scavenge spaceship-wrecks and get a nice payday for it. He really wasn't planning on finding a survivor on his latest wreck.

The Joy of Little Things by obsessivereader, Sealcat (complete | 29,744 | E)

"Do you want me to eat you?"

“No, but—” Steve broke off his instinctive response. All his life, he’d believed in doing what was right… he was not about to stop now. Wincing at the prickling pain in his feet, he straightened up to his full height. “Yes. If it means you’ll leave this place.”

"But you don’t look very filling." The tip of the dragon’s tail twitched. "I don’t suppose you’re a virgin?" he asked hopefully. "I’ve heard they taste better."

Steve gritted his teeth and refused to answer. The dragon could very well find that out for himself. He stared at the dragon. The dragon stared back. Then the dragon got up, turned around, and went back into his cave.

"Well? Come on, tribute."

or, how Steve ends up working for a dragon with a very odd sense of humor

Quench by AidaRonan (complete | 9,417 | E)

This guy, he had never met. He definitely wouldn’t have forgotten it if he had. Shaggy dishwater blond hair run through with natural golden highlights, a thick brown beard, and a body like a Mack truck made out of ribeye.

“Fuck me,” Bucky gasped.

“Excuse me?” Or the one where archeology intern Bucky Barnes meets actual archeologist Steve Rogers and reaches levels of thirst scientists once believed to be theoretically impossible.

haha, jk by relenafanel (oneshot | 13,523 | T)

(A tale of Not Unrequited Love)

Steve: I love you. Bucky: oh no. (and other fallacies)

Bucky learns to never say never when it comes to the effect his best friend can have.

Like Real People Do by 2bestfriends (complete | 67,777 | E)

Seven years into an isolated retirement after the Battle of New York, Steve has carved out a place for himself in the foothills of the Catskill Mountains. He has a best friend (his dog, Lady), a frenemy (a local black bear named Rufus), and a cabin in the middle of the woods, an hour's drive from the nearest town. As November comes to a close, he heads into town to pick up supplies and ends up with a stowaway.

Bucky hasn't had much luck over the past seven years. Disaster caused his family to move from New York to Indiana, and his life has steadily fallen apart ever since. After one too many heartbreaks, he decides to hitch his way back to the last place he remembers being happy: Brooklyn. He's in the homestretch when he finds himself stranded in a half-empty tourist town in the Catskills and decides to take a chance crawling into the back of someone's truck.

--

AKA the "Lumberjack Steve/Twink Bucky" fic of our hearts. Bucky spends so much time thirsty as hell.

Part 1 of All That You Are to Me

Pod Bless America by Deisderium (complete | 6,13 | T)

Bucky can't believe his favorite podficcer recorded his newest fanfic AU of the show Commandos. He's even more surprised when the customer who busts him listening to fic while he's working in the office supply store turns out to be that podficcer.

* The guy—maybe bi_shield?—took his phone, looked down at the screen, and smiled. "Yeah, that one's mine," he said with no evidence of embarrassment. "It was a good one." He handed the phone back to Bucky.

"I wrote it," Bucky croaked.

Thunder and Ice* by Quarra, TrishArgh (complete | 18,027 | E) *tagged rape/noncon for mentions of sex pollen

Bucky is back with Steve in Avengers Tower and recovering well from his time with Hydra and the Avengers are working together better than ever too; but Steve still feels like something is missing in his life. At the urging of his loved ones, Steve takes up creative writing in his free time to help him regain a sense of happiness and purpose.

And his favorite subject to write about? Having sex with Bucky.

It turns out that other people seem to like what he's writing about too. So much so that Steve picks up a pen name and becomes a published romance novelist. But how long can Steve's secret smut writings stay secret, especially given who he's writing about and how public it becomes?

Be Careful What You Post on the Internet by itshysterekal (oneshot | 19,117 | E)

Bucky just wants to get on to the next mission, but the therapist he's forced to see insists he take up a hobby. Cue his writing of highly explicit Avengers RPF to make fun of Stark and his headlong dive into social media. He never expected a hobby to change his life.

September

THE Steve Rogers PROBLEM by relenafanel (series, ongoing | 85,015 | T-M)

Meet SSA Bucky Barnes: Hostage Rescue Team member extraordinaire. He loves his job, his body, and hooking up. He hates civilians and local enforcement officers trying to do his job and fucking everything to shit.

Meet Bucky Barnes: fan of the television show The Howling Commandos extraordinaire. He loves writing fanfic, creating fanart, and staring at Steve Rogers' ass. He hates the long journey of doing the necessary physical therapy on his arm (and also that no one told him he knows Steve Rogers).

Meet Bucky Barnes: Steve Rogers' boyfriend. He loves Steve. He hates the idea of that being his sole identity.

Green (Heart)-Eyed Monster by TheIntelligentHufflepuff (oneshot | 1,822 | T)

He shakes his head, tries to turn away. But his eyes rove back, insatiable. Steve is spinning Sam, goofily. Sam stumbles, and Steve instinctively grabs Sam to his chest to keep him up.

For a wild, petty moment, Bucky wishes he'd just fall.

[Post-Endgame, except an Endgame where nobody died. Bucky gets drunk and jealous at the after-party, but makes up with Sam and gets together with Steve the next day]

Love's Just a Feeling by fadefilter, Mystrana (complete | 26,359 | E)

Not Without You is on tour, and the lucky fans at their sold out shows are always treated to the best show: great music and excellent entertainment, courtesy of Steve and Bucky, who can't seem to keep their hands off of each other—both onstage and off.

The tour's almost over, but Steve's got a bit of a problem. Despite constantly reassuring the rest of the band that neither of them will develop feelings...

...he's pretty sure he's developed some feelings.

No Retreat, Baby, No Surrender by itsnotbleak (complete | 39,792 | T)

"You think your old army buddy is working at Subway?”

“Of course not,” said Steve, trying to sound like he thought the idea was ludicrous. “Bucky died in 1944. I just...” He didn’t know what to say, so he slapped on his best lonely soldier face and lied. “It’s just it’s nice to pretend for a bit, you know?”

“No,” said Natasha. “It sounds deeply unhealthy, but you do you.”

In which Steve finds a man that looks a lot like Bucky making sandwiches in a Brooklyn subway. Except Bucky died seventy years ago, and this guy shows no sign of remembering Steve.

The Boy With The Thorn In His Side by BetteNoire (WeAreWolves) (restricted, complete | 21,980 | E)

“Holy shit,” says Steve. “I’ve been knocked out twice by the same guy.”

Introduction to Fake Dating Your Best Friend 101 by crinklefries (oneshot | 24,627 | T)

Bucky stares at his best friend as though he’s absolutely lost what’s left of his dumbass mind.

“Excuse me?” he asks dumbly.

Steve sighs and sags back onto the couch, covering his face dramatically with one large, well-manicured hand.

“Dean Coulson thinks we’re dating. And gay. But like, for each other. And now I need you to fake date me so I can convince the Chancellor to fund my research.”

or;

Steve and Bucky are a pair of professors who have to fake date for academic purposes and are real dumb along the way. It's not so much a forest of pine as a whole landscape of it. It turns out fine, probably.

Beyond the Yellow Book Road by crinklefries (complete | 30,057 | T)

Before he was Captain America, he was Steve Rogers, knobby kneed and wild-eyed, with scrapes on his knuckles and a book in his hands.

In 1942, he leaves for war and eventually crashes the Valkyrie.

That's only the beginning of his story.

In 2011, Steve's body is dragged from ice off the coast of Greenland.

In 2015, he meets a bookstore clerk.

This is what happens when a superhero loses his way home and the only way back is through the Yellow Book Road.

October

In The Next Life We'll Be Good by Nori (series, ongoing | 83,018 | M) (reread)

Steve is resurrected 500 years into the future. Humanity is on the brink of extinction, hostile aliens are clawing at the door, and the only thing standing in the way are Guardians. Figuring out how, exactly, to be a Guardian doesn't come easily for Steve, no matter how much he wants to protect the innocent. Luckily for him, he has friends who're more than willing to show him the way.

---

Breaking your hand doesn’t actually help in any way,” a voice says from behind him. Steve twists at the waist, less surprised than he probably ought to be.

“Hey,” Steve says, feeling a smile breaking over his face. “You’re all about clandestine meetings, huh?”

“Maybe I wanted to be a spy in my last life,” the scout replies breezily, drifting like a shadow to stand adjacent to Steve.

Far Strayed* by eyres (complete | 18,344 | M) *chose not to warn

They’re not going to stop coming after me,” Bucky tells Steve, somewhere in the air above Siberia.

“Let them come,” Steve replies, furious still.

After Siberia, instead of seeking refuge in Wakanda, Bucky and Steve go on the run.

The Biggest Part of Me* by Anna_Heyward (complete | 69,992 |E) *chose not to warn

Newly divorced single dad Steve Rogers moves his kids from the suburbs to Brooklyn to start their new life together, and becomes captivated by the young man who works at the coffee shop downstairs from Steve’s apartment.

Bucky Barnes is 25 years old, working part-time in a coffee shop and still living with his mom. When a handsome single dad in a pinch offers Bucky a job as his nanny, Bucky takes him up on it.

(AU of the movie The Rebound.)

Part 1 of The Biggest Part of Me 'verse

Knit One, Purl Two, Is How I Say "I Love You"* by Ignisentis (oneshot | 4,636 | T) *chose not to warn

Bucky looks up from the book he’s reading at the sound of the familiar gentle clacking of the wooden needles Steve has always preferred to use when he’s knitting. He used to knit back in the day whenever he wasn’t drawing. He said it helped calm him down, that he liked making things, especially for Bucky, that it made him feel like he was contributing more since it was hard for him to hold down a regular job.

Bucky thought it was all of those things but also that Steve Rogers was never the kind of man who could keep his hands still.

He used to knit Bucky socks and hats and scarves whenever he could get his hands on some yarn. He’d always wanted to make a sweater but never could get the same kind of yarn in sweater quantities.

Now, though. Now Bucky has a handful of sweaters that Steve’s made for him: a cable-knit fisherman’s sweater with a shawl collar; a simple pullover; a replica of Steve’s WWII dancing monkey sweater he wore on stage that Steve gave him with a smirk; a chunky Tweed cardigan with elbow patches; the lightest, most sumptuous cashmere henley-style pullover; even a Fair Isle with the Ghostbusters symbol worked into the yoke. Fuck, but Bucky loves that movie. And the sweater.

i just called to say i love you* by brideofquiet (oneshot | 7,895 | T) */others

Both times Steve makes a fool of himself in front of the soccer coach, it’s mostly an accident.

Grass, Fire, Water? My Only Weakness Is You! by powercrow (complete | 52,725 | E)

Steve first notices Bucky at a Pokémon GO raid at the local Target.

He’s immediately intrigued, but interpersonal relationships have been a real struggle since his mother’s death. Bucky’s not without his own bullshit after the disastrous end of a prior relationship. PoGo somehow brings them together anyways, and they become friends, catch lots of Pokémon, deal with their issues, and eventually fall in love.

November

You can't hurry love by obsessivereader (oneshot | 8,547 | E)

“Jesus!” Steve hurries forward. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.” Before he’s even halfway into the room, the man’s already on his feet and turning around. He has a face as perfect as his ass. High forehead, square jaw, pink lips with a hint of a natural pout. Short, wavy, dark brown hair. His wide, deep-set eyes are a clear and luminous gray. Those eyes widen as the man takes in the sight of Steve staring at him.

Something about that wide-eyed, slightly nervous look catches at Steve’s memory. “Bucky?”

Steve remembers a shy, sweet teenager, with soft round cheeks, eyes too big for his face, and a wild head of hair. If this really is Bucky, some time in the last few years, he grew into his face and is now so gorgeous that Steve’s having a little trouble breathing. The lean, toned body beautifully displayed by a black shirt and gray pants don’t help the breathing situation either.

“You… have a beard now,” Bucky says faintly.

or, Bucky finally gets to do something about his decades-long crush on his best friend's older brother...

Part 1 of Happy Steve Bingo!

Stay with Me* by em_dibujsb, maikurosaki (complete | 79,903 | E) *graphic violence

When Bucky Barnes accompanies his family to a ceremony dedicated to George Barnes' activity, he expects free food and drinks, the occasional boring speech, and watching his dad blush furiously as he gets to finally meet his childhood hero. What he doesn't expect is saving Captain America's life and getting shot in the process. What follows is a slow road to recovery, eating hospital food (still disgusting), making new friends (Avengers!!! Seriously, the Avengers!) and pining over Captain America (he won't comment on that). It sounds simple, but it really isn’t!

Anything You Ask by thepinupchemist (oneshot | 6,187 | E)

A skinny blond kid appears in Bucky's candy store, and when her frantic father comes looking for her, Bucky doesn't realize he just met his mate. Over the course of several months, he falls in love with Steve Rogers and his daughter. Fortunately, they love him right back.

Poppies of the Field* by kaasknot (complete | 63,417 | M) *chose not to warn, temporary major character death

"Thank you for purchasing a StarkTech Companion 'Bot! Please state your name for licensing."

Wherein Bucky is a severely agoraphobic combat veteran, and Steve is the android he buys out of loneliness.

So Alive by GottaSaveBucky (Cosmic_Entity_1of4) (complete | 108,978 | E)

A man wearing a light denim jacket over a dark blue shirt came into the shop, a box tucked under his right arm. Despite it being late afternoon, he was wearing sunglasses with bright blue lenses, and his long, dark hair was pulled back in a messy little bun. A few strands had escaped, framing his strong, unshaven jawline. The man looked into the café, smiled widely, and waved in Clint’s direction as he kept walking into the bookstore, and Steve’s mouth went completely dry.

Beautiful, was the only word to describe that smile; straight, white teeth framed by full, lush, red lips, bracketed by laugh lines and an adorable dimple in his right cheek, a charming little chin cleft just visible under the light stubble—Steve was struck literally speechless. And that was before he got a glimpse of the man’s backside. Slim hips and a round, firm-looking ass led to long, lean legs that were encased in snug, dark blue jeans.

“Guh,” Steve said, watching the dark-haired man continue on to the back of the store.

__________

A bookstore AU starring our favorite OTP, set to the song “So Alive” by Love and Rockets (from their fourth album “Love and Rockets,” 1989).

** COMPLETED **

Part 1 of Brooklyn Heights Books

backs treat boys by rohkeutta (oneshot | 2,570 | M)

“What? No, you’re not boring,” Steve protests, bless his heart. “It’s just—I have this kink in my back, probably from work or the gym. It’s hard to get comfortable.”

“Where?” Bucky asks, looking back down at his tablet and swiping to the next slide. He took a beginners' massage therapy course at the community college last summer to keep himself from doing something dumb, like fucking his way through the city because he was bored while Steve was on a work thing in Europe. Missing his best buddy was perfectly okay, but even Bucky, a self-proclaimed Cheerful Thot, felt it might be a little excessive to go on a one-night-stand binge just because his pal was out of town for a few weeks.

Part 9 of a pocketful of mumbles

Metallurgy by eyres, TheFriendlyPigeon (complete | 22,129 | M)

he battle quieted for the moment, the great metal giant turns, at last, and sees Steve. Dark, almost human hair frames a sharp, steel face - but, Steve is caught by its eyes. They’re bright silver, sparking in the sunlight, shot through with gray and blue, visible even at this distance. Something about them nags at Steve, calls to him, reminds him of…

Instead of making the Winter Soldier, Hydra transfers Bucky's consciousness to a metal body, locking his mind within a prison of steel and programming. However, Bucky is stronger than they could've ever imagined.

Press Play to Start by layersofsilence, talkplaylove-art (talkplaylove) (complete | 31,502 | M)

Steve still doesn’t understand; and then he does, or he thinks he does, in a burst of clarity that he immediately wishes he hadn’t gotten.

The thing is that it’s not possible. James shifts his position ever so slightly; his shoulders shift smoothly under his tac gear, and it’s not possible that Steve could be programming another human.

CA:TWS AU - in which Steve Rogers, SHIELD agent, finds out that HYDRA is not so old and defeated a foe, and that the Winter Soldier is more than a whispered rumour.

Something that Feels Like Hope by BeaArthurPendragon (oneshot | 7,669 | E)

Captain America, feeling gloomy around the holidays and exhausted from hobnobbing with the rich and famous at yet another charity gala, escapes into an empty room for some peace and quiet.

Army veteran James Barnes is the founder of the Gulmira Project, which provides high-quality prostheses to civilians injured in the Afghanistan and Iraq Wars, and needs to find a place to practice his speech.

You'll never guess what happens next.

Eight Invitations* by alby_mangroves, RevolutionaryJo, Speranza (oneshot | 3,345 | E) *chose not to warn

Part 15 of 4 Minute Window

December

Cute Stitch Witch Discount by stevergrsno (noxlunate) (onesoht | 3,089 | T)

He’s barely finished with his drink when Bucky appears in front of him, a cup in hand. “Our famous cocoa,” He says, setting it onto the little table next to Steve, “On the house.”

Steve plucks the cup up off the table and cradles it close, inhaling the smell of chocolate and cinnamon. “Thank you,” Steve says, and then, “I can pay though, really.”

“Call it the cute stitch witch discount,” Bucky says with a wink before he’s turning away and disappearing behind the counter to take care of another customer.

In which Steve has magic, meets Bucky 70 years later, and as always, falls a little bit in love with him.

Part 24 of Happy Steve Bingo Fills

How to Woo the Winter Soldier* by writeonclara (complete | 21,566 | G) *chose not to warn

“I think I’m ready to date again,” Steve said.

“What,” Natasha said.

“What?” Clint said, lowering his binoculars. He blinked at the dumbstruck look on the Captain’s face, then followed his gaze to where he was staring dopily at—at the Winter fucking Soldier.

“Steve, no,” Clint groaned.

Or: Steve courts the Winter Soldier.

Ever Mine, Ever Ours by hitlikehammers (oneshot | 2,914 | E)

Steve goes back to return the Stones, for the sake of the universe.

The extra Pym Particles he palms when Bruce isn't looking, though? Those are for the heart he has now and the heart he took into the ice; those are for the loves he's known and held and lost and found, those—

Those are for the sake of his soul.

Avengers: Endgame Fix-It.

Gone, Baby, Gone by crinklefries (complete | 38,943 | M)

An entity known only by the name LEVIATHAN finds each of them, sending, initially a solitary text: Our name is LEVIATHAN. We have a job for you. You have three minutes to decide.

Well, what’s a group of bored, reckless thrill-seekers with very specific skills and long criminal histories to do? They needed the money and, well, it sounded fun.

[ or;

Steve is the head of a new criminal crew, Bucky is the getaway driver, Sam wears a LOT of bold outfits and gold jewelry, and the rest of the Avengers help too.

There's heists and fast cars in a neon-noir setting, but most importantly, Bucky wears a crop top that says be gay do crime and he is, in fact, gay and he does, in fact, do crime. ]

Home Is Wherever I'm With You by cydonic (complete | 88,570 | E)

This is what happens when you buy a house to flip having only seen the online images: you get more than you bargained for. Bucky Barnes brings all the tools to handle a dilapidated home, but he's hardly prepared for a smart-mouthed child (with poor aim), a crying baby, and the hottest dad he's ever seen in his life living right next door.

That House-Flipper!AU.

Part 1 of Flowers in our Eyes

Caramel Macchiato by littleblackfox (complete | 15,450 | E)

"You ate my bees," Bucky says. Because his own tongue fucking hates him.

Empires Fall, but Not Us by AidaRonan (oneshot | 21,611 | T)

When Steve was ten, he met a boy with a clockwork heart.

A cyberpunk tale of friendship, love, loss, and reunion; framed by the battle to bring hope and joy back to a City drowning under Hydra's rule.

No More Shame by thepinupchemist (oneshot | 3,287 | T)

“I think the Winter Soldier is going to our synagogue,” Billy said, apropos of absolutely nothing.

Or: Billy Kaplan helps Bucky Barnes find his way.

No, Mr. Bond, I Expect You to Pine by galwednesday (oneshot | 16,466 | T)

"Agent Rogers. We have to stop meeting like this." The Winter Soldier crouched in front of where Steve was slumped against the wall, hands and forearms glued to the stone behind him by some kind of sticky polymer. "Comfortable?"

"No," Steve lied. "My blood circulation has been cut off. I've lost all feeling in my hands."

"Oh, so I should probably cut you loose," the Soldier deadpanned.

"It's a medical emergency. You don't want to be responsible for me losing limbs, do you?"

"Tell you what, if you lose your hands, I'll make you some new ones." He held up his metal hand, smallest finger crooked. “Pinkie promise.”

Secret Agent adversaries-to-lovers AU where the Winter Soldier keeps tying Captain America to walls and sticking around to chat. Shut up, Natasha, it’s not flirting, okay? (It’s definitely flirting.)

Part 2 of The Adventures of Captain America, Not-So-Secret Agent

Proprietary Information by notlucy (complete | 85,141 | E)

Okay, so Bucky Barnes has a crush on Steve Rogers. The guy's gorgeous, talented and, oh yeah, the Chief Design Officer of the biggest tech company in the world. In other words: he's so far out of Bucky's league that he might as well be in a different stratosphere.

Part 1 of Additional Information

you, the moon by dirtybinary (oneshot | 2,339 | T)

Stimulus. The sight of one Bucky Barnes, age seventeen, best friend, roommate, favourite nuisance, coming home after work. Subject’s Response. A swoop of the stomach, like when one pointed one’s bike down that steep hill beside the church and pedalled really fast, but without the inevitable sprained ankles and bloody scrapes.

Steve likes Bucky. Bucky likes food and cats and girls and maybe, just maybe, Steve.

Steve deals with this very well indeed.

Local Raccoon Befriends Angry Chihuahua by charlesdk (oneshot | 15,314 | T)

Rogers was a tiny man. Bucky was sure he easily disappeared in a crowd and became invisible. He was tiny and short and skinny and didn't look like much. But his fists were clenched to his sides in anger, his jaw was jutted out, his boney shoulders were square, and his voice held more power than his body looked like it did.

Screaming and yelling and swearing like a damn sailor and asking for a fight, Bucky found him breathtakingly gorgeous. Like a tiny ball of energy and rage and justice that shined brighter than the fucking sun, punching his way through the evil and disgusting trash of the world.

Bucky never believed in love at first sight and the way his heart warmed and pounded at the mere sound of Rogers didn't really change his mind. But it did make him stop and stare, desperately reaching out for the feeling he felt when he looked at him because it was good and Bucky hadn't had good in his life in years.

OR – in which one armed veteran, suffering insomniac, and grump extraordinaire Bucky Barnes gets turned into a puddle of goo by the tiniest, angriest, most wonderful guy in the entire universe.

Stop Dragon My Heart Around by leveragehunters (Monkeygreen) (oneshot | 15,127 | T)

All Bucky had wanted was gold. A few jewels. Not a king's riches, not a prince's fortune, just enough he'd never have to worry about anything ever again. It was what had sent him racing to the dragon's cave when he'd overheard the news that the Prince had killed her.

But he should have known better. Nothing good ever came from eavesdropping, and nothing good ever came from listening to men in pubs, and now instead of gold, instead of jewels, he had an egg. A dragon egg, and no idea how he was going to keep it alive.

The dragon egg wasn't all he had, even if he didn't know it. He also had a full-grown dragon on his trail, one who'd sworn he'd find the egg--and the human who stole it.

I Know the Drill by castiowl (oneshot | 4,869 | T)

Bucky says some explicit things to his dentist while under the influence of anesthesia following a wisdom tooth removal. The rest is (embarrassing) history.

Our Broken Parts (Smashed on the Floor) by This Girl Is (non_sequential) (oneshot | 11,702 | E)

Steve is sent undercover to catch an elusive Russian assassin. He didn’t want to do it in the first place; he’s damn certain he won’t be asked again.

great whales of the sea by canistakahari (oneshot | 3,002 | T)

“Whales make sounds,” says Bucky, shocked.

“They sing,” Steve says absently.

show me your insides, show me your secrets (show what you wanted, so i can be it)* by voxofthevoid (oneshot | 8,731 | E) *chose not to warn

They took down a lab full of mutated animals today. It was normal enough at first, James with his metal arm and Steve with his shield, the two of them armed to the teeth with guns and knives. But then the creatures kept coming. Steve wrapped himself around a horse-sized something that might have been a wolf in another life and broke every one of its bones with a single, heaving squeeze of his limbs. James punched through the chest of a biped taller than him with his flesh arm and ripped its heart out for good measure.

There was no pretending after that.

James smiles at Steve, a small, heated thing.

“I want you to fuck me until I can’t talk."

“And if I say no?” Steve asks.

James shrugs, and the gesture is nonchalant, but Steve can see the tension underneath.

“Then I will be very disappointed, and I will leave and take my whiskey with me.” James tilts his head to the side, an animal-like motion that’s a strange cross between predatory and adorable. “But somehow, Captain, I don’t think you’ll say no.”

- Captain America and the Winter Soldier are assigned a joint mission by their respective masters. They are strangers until they're not.

Part 1 of lay your heart into my perfect machine

Yours is the Only Ocean by seapigeon (oneshot | 6,256 | T)

"Sirens aren’t monogamous. She’s free to mate with whoever she wants.” Steve turns his head, and for the first time, he looks tentative. “So am I.”

It takes Bucky almost a full minute to understand.

“Oh,” he says, going warm down to his tailfin.

A Puppy Dog's Tale by roe87 (oneshot | 1,630 | T)

Bucky finds a lost puppy running around in the park, but who does the pup belong to?

Part 24 of Steve/Bucky modern au's

a modern feast (from one-hundred-and-two feet) by Spacedog (oneshot | 3,061 | E)

steven grant rogers is a good neighbor. he vacuums at times that aren’t ten-thirty at night. all his parties end at nine on the dot. and when he brings someone home, he’s cool about it. which makes it even more a shame that 106, the guy living across the hall from him, with the big, blue eyes and the adorable chin dimple and the ass steve can bounce quarters off of, is practically a thoughtful, neighborly, ghost.

luckily, when steve needs something from the local bodega, he strikes an agreement that 106 is more than willing to oblige.

(or: alternate universe, neighbors to hookups to lovers.)

some of them want to use you (some of them want to get used by you) by voxofthevoid (oneshot | 14,136 | E)

He’s dragged forward, his thrashing not doing a thing against the hydra’s shocking strength. At its widest, his tentacle is as thick as Bucky’s wrist. It tapers off towards the end. It’s subtly textured, not slimy like expected, but no less terrifying for it. The hydra pauses once Bucky’s under the cave’s opening, halfway between Pierce and the darkness on the other side.

“Johann is dead,” says the hydra. “I killed him.”

The words mean nothing to Bucky. But when he twists around to see, Pierce’s face is bloodless.

It’s the first time he’s seeing true fear on Alexander Pierce’s face.

“The deal you made with him is null and void, Alexander Pierce,” the hydra says. “And your people shall be better off for it.”

Pierce’s face tightens further.

“But you,” the hydra says – no rumbles, his voice making the water tremble. “You, not so much. I don’t appreciate this sacrifice.”

- Bucky is chosen as his shoal's annual sacrifice to the hydra that lurks in their territory. Things take an unexpected turn when the monster that greets him in the dark turns out to be a wholly unfamiliar beast.

Discord and Rhyme by velvetjinx (oneshot | 9,148 | E)

Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes are werewolves. They have feelings for each other, but are too busy pining to notice that they both feel the same way. Their inner wolves have had enough, but will that be sufficient to bring them together as humans?

Rose-tinted Glasses by Niitza (oneshot | 11,215 | T)

It all started because of Becca.

All I Want for Christmas by Pineau_noir (oneshot | 8,377 | M)

We're gonna live like it's 2012! Everybody lives at the Tower and they're all happy! All the domestic fluff!

Steve is retired from action, living his best life, helping with the Avengers and gently flirting with his favorite art store employee, Bucky Barnes, at Christmastime.

Written for the incredibly kind and talented TrishArgh who won my 2019 FTH auction.

The Last Contract* by xantissa (oneshot | 29,681 | E) *graphic violence

The world was dying, at war for years with alien invaders who were slowly and methodically wiping out humanity. Steve’s hope for the future was nearly gone having fought a losing battle for so long. In what little free time he had, he looked for the dragon sleeping under an old castle that his mother had told him stories about. He knew it was just a fairytale, but at least it was something to do. He never expected to actually find a man locked in a cave filled with magic. Nor did he expect to agree to some strange bargain with him. Steve had expected him even less to actually be a dragon. In a world all but destroyed, can Steve survive the consequences of his own actions?

Once More With Foresight* by galwednesday (complete | 7,317 | T) *polyamory

Bucky left the towel draped over Steve’s head and pulled his phone out of his pocket when it chimed with a new text from Natasha. She’d sent him a picture of Sam asleep, his legs sprawled over the shield on one end of the couch and his head in her lap on the other. Bucky snorted and tilted the screen so Steve could see.

Steve shook his head, mock scandalized. “Captain America for five minutes, and he’s already using the shield as a footrest.”

“I know for a fact you scrambled eggs in that thing.”

“That was to feed my team, Buck. It was my sworn duty as field commander.”

“It was a dare from Jones.”

“So it was two things,” Steve said, and ducked out of Bucky’s half-hearted noogie attempt, pulling the towel back to use as a defensive barrier. Bucky sat on the couch beside him and leaned into Steve’s shoulder. It was sharper than Bucky remembered; Steve had lost weight since last week. Since five years ago.

If Only In My Dreams by odetteandodile (complete | 28,317 | T)

Bucky is a highly successful cooking and lifestyle blogger, the gay New England Pioneer Woman if you will. He writes all about life in his Connecticut home with his D.H. (darling husband). Only problem? It’s all complete fiction. He actually lives in a shitty Brooklyn apartment, is single as hell, and has visited Connecticut exactly one time at the age of eight.

When his agent Sam informs him that he's been offered an exclusive sponsorship deal with Stark Media and a three book contract to go with it, Bucky's forced to fess up to Sam, who's predictably...displeased. But Sam's also convinced the deal is too good to miss—even if they have to put on a little bit of a show in order to get it.

So Tony and Pepper descend on Bucky and Sam's fake home for Christmas with a devastatingly handsome War Hero in tow, and their already complicated plan quickly gets even more complicated as Bucky finds himself falling head over heels for Steve. Can he keep it together just for the holidays? Did he ever have it together in the first place?

Not Without You* by SevereStorms, wreckingthefinite (complete | 94,402 | E) *graphic violence

Six months earlier, Bucky would have said the prospect of dying back home in Brooklyn sounded like a dream. Now, faced with his own imminent demise in a Brooklyn that is almost unrecognizable, it’s decidedly less appealing.

Honestly, it’s just sort of bizarre. Survive Afghanistan and come home to die in the pseudo-zombie apocalypse. Can’t make this stuff up.

Servitum by justanotherStonyfan (complete | 42,745 | E)

Steve appears in the hallway, and James turns his head to look at him, doesn't move otherwise. Steve’s in pale blue jeans and a white button down with the four buttons open and his tag chain visible beneath, which is sexy as fuck, but it’s even sexier when he towers over James like this.

"James?" Steve says, and he's not worried, James can tell. He's on the edge of it, sure - he's bemused, and prepared for something to be amiss - but he's not worried yet, so James closes his eyes for a moment.

"Help," he says, and then looks up at Steve. "I've fallen and I can't get up."

Part 28 of Honey Honey

Wenceslas by dragongirlG, mcl4r3n (complete | 17,915 | M)

Steve is a short, skinny Brooklynite with a very stable, predictable life, which he built after losing his memories in a traumatic accident six months ago. He works from home on a steady stream of art commissions, goes to weekly trivia nights with his superhero friends the Avengers, and tries not to get bothered by the constant feeling that something is not quite right.

When Steve invites a homeless man with one arm to take shelter in his apartment during a December snowstorm, both of them enter a dreamscape that unravels the fabric of their memories and reveals the truth about their identities—and their relationship to each other.

A wintertime fic featuring dream-sharing, identity porn, and Steve in the 21st century, inspired by the movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and the musical composition Wenceslas Suite by Bob Chilcott. Now complete!

Scenes From A Marriage: Captain America At Home by alby_mangroves, lim, Lunate8, RevolutionaryJo, Speranza (complete | 19,239 | E)

Welcome to the 4 Minute Window Advent calendar for 2019! As always, my goal is to tell a little bit of story in this universe each day (knock wood) between the Immaculate Conception and Christmas. Explicit eventually, the rest as it comes. This year there's loads of multimedia, as you might glean from the list of contributors. 

Part 16 of 4 Minute Window

[alaskagrown1996]

So I know that probably quite a few people asked for more eco-living type gameplay but, I can assure you 95% of the sims community didn’t ask for this. Like, generally I’m defending the sims team and the developers because they do work very hard and it takes a long time to develop packs, build and code and all of that stuff but I’ve had enough. I still support them and are thankful for what they do, but honestly, I don’t feel like they’re even listening to us anymore. Don’t get me wrong, they have added in a few things that weren’t in base game in the beginning like toddlers, ghosts, and pools but they should’ve never been taken out in the first place! Like, there features that we’ve been begging for since launch day and we’re still waiting six years later. Like where’s story progression? Where are teens that actually look and act like teens instead of mini adults that go to school instead of work? Where are babies that aren’t tied to a bassinet and aren’t essentially objects? I would love to be able to take my baby out of the bassinet and be able to walk around the house with them, take them on walks in a stroller or put them in a swing or maybe even babywear. Where’s actual family gameplay?? There’s other features that weren’t originally base game but we ended up getting in previous iterations like in Sims 3, like prom, more vacation worlds, graduations for teens, imaginary friends, seasonal festivals, and teen parties? I didn’t include open worlds because we all know we’re not getting that this far in. Like, I feel like the sims team took a huge step back while making the sims 4, it’s cool our sims have emotions but they still lack personality! Only three trait slots and the traits barely affect gameplay. I’ve kept quiet for a long time, but not this time. The sims 4 needs a lot of work and I feel like the team isn’t really paying attention to the problems that already exist in game. Like, simulation lag! I can’t tell you how long it takes for my sim to just eat and go to work/school unless I wake them 4 hours before they have to go. I love that they can multitask, but sometimes it gets irritating. The modding community has done so much amazing stuff and I couldn’t end this rant without thanking them because they make this game playable! Like adding in objects/hairstyles/skin details/clothing, etc. that we don’t have, adding features that we don’t have, editing the features we do have, tweaking the game to where it’s actually playable, like I know personally, mods are the reason I still play and I could also say that for a lot of other simmers too. l could go on, but then this would end up being a book! Rant over.

[skaiatemple]

July 23rd is the Festival of Heart!

If you follow as a practitioner of Pop Culture Paganism, a user of Homestuck inspired Chaos Magic, or just want to use your favorite series to inspire you throughout the year, Skaia Temple is your resource center!

Whether you want to just celebrate it on the day, use it as a date for empowered energy, integrate it into your more mundane celebrations, or just appreciate your favorite characters and concepts this month, we have suggestions for whatever path you want to take with us!

Read below the cut for a condensed idea & resource list for this month of Heart!

Aspect Centered

Celebrate the Aspect in all its glory if you’re all about on celebrating the Festivals for exactly what they represent: The Aspect and all the traits associated with it.

“Forging an identity is extremely important to the Heart-bound, and every decision and action goes toward building a coherent narrative of their own story.”

Heart is about the Self, the Soul. If Life is about self care, Heart is about caring for the self. It’s often discouraged to be selfish about our own needs, but sometimes its just what we might need or deserve. If Blood is about community, Heart is about finding out who you are in it.

Sometimes the strongest weapon we can have is being ourselves completely unabashedly. Whether this means holding your own in conflict, or keeping yourself steady when nothing else is so. We need to be able to have a grasp on ourselves to truly understand how and why we need to grow.

Maybe there’s some facets of your personality you suppress for some reason that you need to learn to let loose, maybe you can find a new or more genuine way to express yourself, or maybe all you need to do is let those around you know that its you who knows yourself best.

This month is for being yourself.

Magical Inspiration

If you want to use Homestuck concepts more abstractly and need some ideas for what brands of magic would work best for the season, if you have an Aspect or character-themed spell, feel free to send it in so it can be added to this section!

Shadow work during Doom was more about making peace with yourself, but doing it during Heart season would be more about wielding it like a sword. Or shitty katana- Another side of it could be glamour magic, both for confidence or just when you need someone to see a specific facet of yourself for any reason. The main idea for now is to make sure your inside feelings match your outside actions.

Love and Romance also arent out of place for something about self-nourishment. Here is a Nepeta themed Romantic Luck spell for the occasion as well!

Integration Route

For people in the broom closet who are too timid or anxious to celebrate the Festivals openly- you can always integrate the Aspects traits to fit in with the more common trends and holidays of the month. Not even Hussie is is Homestuck God, no one will mind!

Appropriately, there are no major traditional holidays in this season, at least not in America. Maybe you could look up some minor holidays and find some that resonate with you and set forth celebrating them unabashedly and with full force- or maybe you could just make it a month where you celebrate You. Make the whole Heart season your Unbirthday Month. (In the event that your birthday is within this season, Happy Birthday! And I hope you have a even happier Unbirthday pt2)

The start of August marks Lammas, celebrating summer harvests, specifically grains- doesn't baking heartshaped bread sound pawsitively adorapurr?

Fandom Driven

For if you’re not all about spirituality or routine and just want to enjoy going all-out with a beloved story & characters, you can honor the ones of this month by driving full-throttle on the fandom bandwagon.

Heart is the Aspect for the Leijons. Some very underappreciated girls who never seem to catch a break. They’re strong beautiful ladies whose voices often go unheard through fear, manipulation, or ill timing to be able to speak out in all of their unique, creative, colorful glory. They show all the best parts of the Heart Aspect, pure timid selves who need only the chance and support to be able to shine brightly light everyone deserves to get to. Look at them and keep in mind that you deserve to express yourself in every way you want to.

It’s also the Aspect for the infamous Dirk Strider, and however you feel about whatever iteration of this walking identity crisis, he too embodies his Aspect strongly. He’s on a constant search to find his self and purpose, and so shows us the darker side of when we might try to change everyone else around us to better fit the picture we’ve painstakingly made to justify who we’re trying to be. Be it admiration, pity, or mouth frothing rage, look at Dirk and remember that whatever path we walk, we should be able to find one that allows us to walk in pace with everyone else that we so care about, and that has to be done with empathy, not anxiety and micromanaging. Stan Dirk.

Draw art, write fic, post analysis’ and/or callout posts for these big bright (inwardly and/or outwardly) characters this season!

We hope you got some ideas for activities you can do with your friends or otherwise use to inspire and better yourself this month. Everyone plays the game of life differently, and everyones beliefs are their own. Celebrate yourself as you see fit, and Thanks for Playing with Us.

~Mod Bee

[somnilogical]

case study: elle benjamin

the rationality community's least skilled exploiter of transmisogynistic coordination points known to me

when thinking about strategy, i often use the least sophisticated version of a given strategy that i know of to reason about the minimal elements of the strategy in general. i have an index of unsophisticated versions of things that i ping and ask "is this strategy basically this vector but with more optimization power behind it?" it helps compress a lot of information. to check, i can make a prediction given a set of examples of the pattern and test it.

(like i did with the transmisogynistic rationalist orgs "i bet this org has 0 transfems in positions of power" and yep they did, they all did.)

and thats how i factor strategies generated by agents with large amounts of optimization power. who might have more ability to optimize in a domain than i do.

both of these claims are false. elle benjamin never let emma into the group. shes culpable for her continued choice to "believe" bigoted propaganda. just as davis tower kingsley is culpable for "believing" that anna salamon, the president of cfar, isnt involved in cfar's hiring.

elle benjamin is deeply concerned about the treatment of trans people in the rationalist community. elle isnt that good at social optimization so this is an obvious false face. like a cop during segregation who runs an algorithm of "smile at people" if no black people are using the WHITE water fountain and "beat up a human" if a black human uses the WHITE water fountain. as long as trans women know their place as violent abusers like ▘▕▜▋, elle is happy.

if we start claiming we are women just the same as them and how people are treating us is wrong, if we protest against omnicide, if other people are coordinating against trans women along lines of transmisogyny; then elle decides its time to show us our place in the social order as male. violent, child abuse loving, misogynistic, strong-arming, men.

this decision-circuit is not peaceful. people who start trying to exploit transmisogyny in an attempt to coordinate with others against you only when you look vulnerable or they think they can get away with it and otherwise smile at transfems are with their whole soul given over to transmisogyny.

erica's post is so passive-aggressive!

<<One issue is that i think this group is just too large to remain a high trust environment.>>

<<Thanks everyone for keeping this a civil place that deals with sensitive issues all these years!>>

in reference to my blog posts about how they didnt have any transfem mods and immediately took down hot allostatic load because it was a [[bad culture fit]] and [[incoherent]]. as if i were expected to keep some confidentiality about transmisogyny. i have no loyalty to keeping secret that kind of oppression, i signed no contract to that effect.

as if telling other trans people exactly what they did was "uncivil"! as if it were ruinous to society instead of ruinous to a cis women coordinating on transmisogyny.

as if posting hot allostatic load and talking about transmisogyny on my blog were less "sensitive" than the other things the group was doing which included posts like "How many romantic novels/movies/etc do we have left, once we take away all the ones focused on a man relentlessly trying to convince a woman through trickery and persistence and stalking that she should really have sex with him" and "the White Knight/Damsel in Distress dynamic" at the time HAL was taken down.

https://somnilogical.tumblr.com/post/175420481784/i-tried-to-post-to-rationalist-feminists-closed

its an equilibrium where anyone opposing the "peace" of transmisogyny is labeled "antisocial" and "disrupting things".

would you say this woman is being misogynistic and "strong-arming" a female DA?

<<Last year, I was arrested twice in Sonoma County at Sunrise Farms and then Petaluma Poultry, two massive industrial farms that torture and kill hundreds of thousands of birds- while lying to the public about how these animals are treated. My crime? Asking the county to help the starving animals inside. Not just asking by email or phone call or office visit (though all these efforts were made and ignored), but asking by going right to the frontlines myself, exercising my statutory right to help neglected animals, and calling the attention of the authorities to this pervasive cruelty. The fact that the sheriffs chose to arrest us and ignore the animal cruelty broke my heart. It's hard to believe we live in a world where helping someone who is dying is the "crime" and not putting that life in danger in the first place. But have hope that this will change, and my hope growing.>>

<<Now, in response to the action at Reichardt, Sonoma County District Attorney Jill Ravitch has decided to file additional charges against me, Priya Sawhney, and Wayne Hsiung. We are already facing 7 felonies and 5 misdemeanors and we're still fighting for animals every day. Do you think new charges will stop us? No. And it wont stop the movement, either. They think they can stop DxE by targeting leadership, but they don't understand that we are a network of leaders. That every single one of us is leading the world to one of the biggest changes it will ever see. #RightToRescue>>

probably not because shes cis and looks like:

laying down and making it clear that you offer no impediment to mass murder is not a female thing, its not a feminist thing. its a *you* thing, elle benjamin.

someone commented on the screenshots:

<<(It feels relevant that when I met this person a few months ago they went on a rant about the evils of TERF’s before telling me I couldn’t experience misogyny bc I was “male-socialised.” They apologised quickly after having it explained but the idea of their being the Font of Wisdom about transness to rats is insane.)>>

https://loving-not-heyting.tumblr.com/post/614660027724283904/ht-somni-for-screengrabs-this-sums-up-absolutely

ozy brennan, i know what the fuck im talking about when i say "transmisogyny". ive been lied to then kicked out of a homeless shelter for being a trans woman. several men forced me to the ground and held me down and cut off my clothes while i shouted "I DONT CONSENT" locked me in a bare room then crowded around a window embedded in a door and said "i told you it was a guy" and a bunch of people came to gawk at my naked body. and so much more.

some of my interactions on the street in the bay:

<<at bart ppl would call me an ugly bitch and ask me to sleep with them in exchange for meth

someone tried to sell me something and i was like "im not interested in being scammed today" and they were like "bitch!!!"

i walked around in sf talking with a homeless women for ~8 hours and someone asked if we had boyfriends and offered to sell us meth if we went with him and i was like "no thanks" and she was like "how much?" but it was too expensive or something. she showed me lots of places to get food and shelter.

and like if i sit down in places for long enough people will come up to me and ask me if i have a boyfriend or if i want to go get coffee with them on a date.

sometimes ppl ask where im *really* from and if i was born a girl. sometimes ppl touch me on my back or thigh.>>

ive compared notes with cisfems, i get more solicitations to have sex with men in exchange for meth.

this isnt oppression olympics, this is "maybe 7-8 years ago when i started transitioning i didnt have a detailed model of transmisogyny, but now i cant not have one". alyssa vance could have one too (and know things like elle is the kind of person who exploits transmisogyny whenever she gets a chance) if she werent busy using her adult intelligence to defeat itself for miri/cfar.

what elle benjamin did was transmisogynistic and i can arbitrage actually being aligned with justice by taking a stack of screenshots of all the things she said and showing them to transfems uninvolved with the ambient miri/cfar gaslighting. and theyll be like "yup, thats transmisogyny". and other transfems can be like "yup, elle was also transmisogynist to me."

rationalists like alyssa vance and ozy brennan currently have an incentive to imply people who accurately identify transmisogyny are crazy. to go along with the status quo. (if i had to guess: ozy to protect an environment where they can provide for their baby, alyssa because she routed her hopes for personal immortality through miri/cfar.) though its not like i expect /alyssa vance/ to start calling transfems “gross uncle style abusers" like patrick lavictiore did or start listing off their "manly" physical characteristics contra anna salamon being a small feeble cisfem like peter did. not because alyssa vance is a particularly good person, shes not. but because thats paying in to a coordination technique that could be used against /her/. she doesnt expect social reality to label her "psychotic" anytime soon so she pays into that instead. ozy does and didnt call me "psychotic". this optimization is dumb, myopic, and doesnt serve their own values. but all evil is like that.

i dont hold by "use words for their expected value over a community" like scott alexander does. this is nice because i can align what i say with my internal cluster structure of anticipations of reality and escalate arbitrarily far without things breaking. elle benjamin cant escalate very far until her claim of ziz being a "misogynist" shatters, because its not exploiting the cluster structure of thing-space.

anyway GG on this front. the territory of "elle benjamin isnt transmisogynistic, somni is hallucinating transmisogyny" isnt worth enough for the miri/cfar campaign to expend energy on; elle benjamin isnt an important piece to miri/cfar like anna salamon is; and alyssa vance isnt in an environment with a bunch of warm bodies she can coordinate on a falsehood with. so afaict this region is ceded.

one technique of fem v fem cyberontological combat when you are right is arbitrage. when people gather a bunch of warm bodies together to gaslight you that elle benjamin isnt doing transmisogyny or whatever. instead of submitting to a series of increasingly arcane requirements until your writing looks like the inside of /principia mathematica/ and then have people complain about you writing long technical paragraphs saying they dont understand them dont care to understand them and you must be crazy;

just take a comprehensive recording of them all choosing to be dumb in a given direction and show it to people who dont have a political commitment to be dumb in that direction (which, when you are right, is often most people outside of the gaslighting bubble) and explain why its wrong. there are a lot of overlapping social spheres and you can iteratively arbitrage between them exploiting the fact that the methods of rationality and justice are more universal than specific false coordination points. in go terms, the spirit of this strategy is tenuki.

--

alyssa vance also says anna salamon isnt transmisogynistic, tried claiming ziz whistleblowing on miri/cfar paying out to blackmail was blackmail, and defends paying out to oneshot blackmail with subjunctive dependence for cdt reasons.

[trilliath]

Hahahaha I can't even imagine playing vanilla... mods feel like such an essential part of the entire history of sims games. I didn’t even buy sims 4 until it’d been out long enough for the modders to really sink their teeth into it. I run 6.5 GB worth of modded and custom content for my sims 4 game right now (thought most of that is custom hair - those meshes and textures are the most complex and detailed!).

By now there are a lot of features in the base game that are more inclusive that didn’t used to come with the earlier games like more complex gender identity options and treating same sex marriage as marriage instead of the earlier iterations’ “joined couples” or whatever it was - though it’s always been groundbreaking in its representation that it wasn’t default hetero-only. I just like things a little further beyond that, and more to my adult tastes rather than sanitized for children as the base game needs to be, like mods allowing polyamory or risky-woohoo or teens to have sex, or more sophisticated background management of the NPCs and the ability to do things like change NPC outfits if I hate them lmao (https://deaderpoolmc.tumblr.com/main is the big kahuna of core mods that is the most essential mod I use), or get rid of the huge mosaic blur for nudity, or mpreg because why the hell not it’s all simulations. There’s wicked whims if you want to get real kinky and add custom sex animations to the game. Or add custom recipes and crops or activities like candle-making (icemunmun creates a lot of that content that I love), or mods allowing children to do activities that the base game prohibits like taking dogs for walks, or adding additional careers, or enabling work-from-home for existing careers. Adding further nuances to CAS sliders or custom replacement skins and genital addons to get rid of barbie-blank nude defaults, so on and so forth. http://modthesims.info is a great resource, as is thesimsresource. There’s lots of stuff available that’s like - just to disallow little quirks of the game that might annoy you like autonomously picking up books.

And of course there’s always the really straightforward stuff like custom design content for hair, clothes, and objects, etc. That’s probably the largest bulk of my mods folder, since I’ve never really liked a lot of the maxis standard clothing designs, or wanted more variety, and there’s some really talented hair designers out there (http://wildlyminiaturesandwich.blogspot.com/ springs to mind as one of my favorites for game-design-consistent content)

[tanadrin]

Map Editors I Have Known And Loved

Much as my favorite part of any RPG is the character creation screen, my favorite part of any RTS (and many other genres of video game) is the map editor, where it’s included. This is a brief review of different map editing experiences for different games based on the time I’ve spent with them.

Warcraft 2

One of the first, wayyy back in the dark days of the mid-90s. Good for little besides making melee maps, really, due to the absence of a trigger system (as I recall).I was too young to really be able to experiment with its mechanics, and mostly used it as a glorified version of a Paint program, because I liked Wc2′s distinctive art style.

Age of Empires 2

AoE2 is/was a freaking terrific game, but (and probably because the campaigns the game shipped with didn’t need more than it provided) the trigger system of its in-game editor is not super sophisticated. Third-party editors and utilities supplement the default modding tools, and modding AoE2 is easier than ever with the HD edition, but if you want to do something super elaborate you’re going to need to do a lot of quirky tricks and editing of database values. I still love the AoE2 map editor, because I love building huge elaborate isometric recreations of medieval European cities, and then wrecking them with a giant army of Elite Mangudai and trebuchets.

Deus Ex: GOTY Edition

An FPS, but it came with a variation on the Unreal engine level editor that was, despite requiring a fair bit of knowledge about the engine to make it really useful, was still great for a kind of conceptual Lego, building beautiful austere environments with careful lighting you could walk around in (and shoot up with a GEP gun). Again, I was a little too young and a little too impatient to master the subtler aspects of DX level design, like triggers and scripting and whatnot, and the tools provided, though powerful, didn’t hold your hand at all. Still, full marks for making the inner workings of the game robustly exposed to modders.

Starcraft

The original Starcraft and the BW expansion have a lot to recommend them: a great kind of redneck-punk scifi aesthetic, some seriously fun campaigns, and some seriously fun multiplayer (the panic instilled by “nuclear launch detected,” etc.); the map editor was great because it had pretty decent unit editing capabilities, and an extremely good trigger system--plus you could make your own voiced mission briefings, string missions together as campaigns, etc., etc. A lot of what you couldn’t do was supplemented by third-party editors, and playing around with SC’s trigger system trying to get all kinds of weird things to work laid a lot of the cognitive groundwork for learning how to think and clarify ideas when I started learning actual programming languages like Python. Rates very highly on both the “purity of form” and “purity of spirit” scales, but it’s nothing compared to

Warcraft 3

Hoooooooo boy

I have a sentimental attachment to wc3 map editing like nothing else. There were whole summers I spent playing custom games on battle.net, and probably thousands of ideas I played around with in the editor itself, but never quite finished, because let me tell you, this bad boy is as far as I’m concerned the gold standard for map editors. It was released in a somewhat limited form with RoC, but around the time TFT came out, they updated the editor to a much more full-featured version, and they eventually also released all the plugins necessary to make Wc3 models with third-party programs. Combined with the idiosyncratic-but-actually-kinda-useful form of custom game searching, the result was, as anyone with a passing familiarity with the wc3 modding scene probably knows, one of the greatest flowerings of modding creativity in video game history. Out of this crucible of innovation came among other things a deep vein of tower defense maps, elaborations on the Aeon of Strife custom games from SC, and out of those, eventually, the DotA maps--leading to DotA Allstars and thence DotA 2.

The Wc3 editor lets you fuck with literally every conceivable value in the game, comes with an exceedingly powerful trigger system, lets you make custom units and abilities and buildings, and where it can’t do what you want it to, also just lets you script shit directly. I love it so much. It is my happy place; the little “doot doo do do doot DOO” that sounds when you start it up gives me a jolt of delight every time, years later.

Homeworld 2/Homeworld Remastered

Honorable mention to the most fun I have ever had in a melee RTS with my pants on. The maps here are exceedingly simple: you edit them with a text editor. But true 3d space battles--true 3d gorgeous space battles with a 70s sci fi aesthetic--are impossible to underrate in my book, and it helps that the Homeworld series has genuinely delightful gameplay mechanics. It also has a pretty good modding scene, with the inevitable Star Trek and Star Wars and BSG mods, because while the game isn’t super easy to mod, and has nothing in the way of built-in modding tools, it isn’t actively hostile to modding the guts of it like some games I could mention (cough cough Paradox cough). Confession: I’ve never tried to mod HW2. I have played a shit ton of it, though, and I live in the vain hope that one day someone will be like, “You know what? Not only is it time to bring RTSes back, 3d space battles are actually the fuckin’ best,” and make another game like it.

Starcraft 2

I haven’t played around as much with the Sc2 editor, because while I played a lot of Sc2 melee during WoL and HotS days, the actual experience of finding custom games with SC2 blows. Rather than Wc3′s “here’s all the custom games currently going, knock yourself out bub” thing, with Sc2 they tried to start a curated game list thing and added rating games and all this other wacky stuff that means it’s actually kinda impossible to find things 1) that you like and 2) that people are actually playing. I haven’t touched Sc2 in years, though; maybe it’s gotten better? I doubt it. The editor itself is, based on my limited experience, just the natural iteration of the Wc3 editor: a little more robust, possibly a little more confusing at first as a result, but it’s got that same classic Blizzard polish that makes their modding tools such a joy to use. But between the fact that the scifi aesthetic doesn’t appeal to me as much when it comes to making custom games, and the sucky game finding interface, I think I’m mostly holding out for WC3: Reforged to scratch that RTS modding itch.

DotA 2

Valve did the community a huge solid and released its developer tools to let people mod its hat collecting/racial and homophobic slurs archiving engine, DotA 2, but the custom game search features suffer from the same problem that plagues SC2, only even worse. Just give me a fucking server browser!!!! FPSes had this solved in like 1994!!!

It doesn’t help that DotA is built in what is fundamentally, like, an FPS engine (ok, probably that’s not an accurate characterization, but it is the engine they devised for like Half-Life 2 and TF2), which means that the developer tools feel clunky and counterintuitive and wayyy too complicated if you’re thinking of them as RTS modding tools. Plus, since not everybody has the time and the professional pride Blizzard used to have to create powerful, polished, standalone modding tools, they’re not gonna hold your hand at all. And the fact that MOBAs/ARTSes have mostly colonized the space classic RTSes used to fill means that what you really have is, like, 5% of the assets you’d need to actually make an RTS mod for the DotA engine. It would probably be easier to make an FPS in the DotA engine than a true, Warcraft-style RTS. (Someone did once make an FPS in the Warcraft 3 engine. It was... actually kind of fun? But seriously goofy.)

If I were a smarter and more hardworking person, I could probably build an RTS-like thing in DotA’s modding tools, but I am not. Plus, there are elements of DotA level design that suffer from the same problems as

Later iterations of the Unreal engine

One thing I loved about the classic UT engine, which the original Deus Ex used, is that (though it was prone to frustrating geometry bugs) it let you tinker around with architecture directly in the space it provided. I played with the level editors of some later UT games (principally UT3, I think?), and with the push toward fancier graphics of later generations, there was also a push toward use of a lot more doodads and 3d assets in levels to provide what I would think of as basic architectural details. I’m sure there are solid graphical and programmatic reasons for this. I’m a dilettante at best at this sort of thing, and I can’t speak to those. But the downside of that was that unless you have some 3d modeling chops, and a measure of planning and patience, the sandboxy/creative appeal of dicking around in the level editor was much reduced. That’s not a criticism of the tools provided so much as it is a neutral observation and, perhaps, me mourning a little bit the fact that older, simpler games, by virtue of their simplicity, are often more amenable to modding. One thing we lose in an era of ever-more-elaborate triple-A titles is a fundamental transparency in how games are constructed; they become super complex, teetering programmatical edifices, and while that often allows for interesting new developments in gameplay (and shiny graphics!), for the person who wants to learn How Games Work by taking them apart and poking around, well, it’s harder. That’s one reason why I’ve never gotten into Skyrim modding, even though it looks awesome and super powerful.

(the U4 engine “map editor” equivalent is a suite of game dev tools, and sold as such, but I’m not really talking about standalone game dev tools that are meant to allow you to build a game from the ground up in this post, so that’s beyond the scope of what I’m interested in. Obviously the more general and powerful a modding tool is, the more it shades directly into that; and there’s something of an artificial distinction between a “total conversion mod” and “a new videogame,” like that between a musical and an opera, that mostly has to do with spirit and intent and marketing.)

EU4, CK2

I am including these because I love modding these games, even though the “modding tools” for them are Notepad++ and GIMP. It’s nothing but images and weirdly formatted text files (and little documentation), and it’s terrible and frustrating! But I love it! My big complaint is actually the lack of ability to alter fundamental game mechanics: everything you can change about the game easily is the accidence of it: its appearance, the map, what countries and characters you can control. The underlying mechanics--the spirit of the game--is frustratingly immutable, except via very clunky workarounds, and while I understand why you might not go out of your way to make these things easily manipulable (it’s a lot of extra work to uncertain benefit), and why Paradox games rely on an event-driven system that is both like and much unlike RTS trigger systems, it is a little disappointing. But EU4 and CK2 drive very different parts of my imagination (geography and politics and economics) than, say, Wc3 (strategy and fighting and tactical finesse), in the same way that Deus Ex drove yet another part (the architectural, the spatial, the atmospheric). One day, maybe, someone will invent a game that somehow captures everything I love about each, a kind of  transcendental game of everything, with modding tools to match, but I doubt it, and I’m OK with it even if that never happens.

Honorable mention: the Civ series

4x games are moooostly outside my scope of interest here, but I do remember Civ2 having a terrific editor with lots of opportunities for modding buildings and techs, and the great thing was that units and cities and terrain were all just very simple images that you could edit with an in-game tool. SMAC/AX was also pretty moddable, had a built in scenario editor/cheat menu, and Civ 3/4/5 have fun map editing and scenario building tools. Turn based games appeal to me a little less inherently, because they lack the thing I love about RTSes, the “oh shit PANIC” moments where you reflexes and quick thinking become super important, but the Civ series does have great strategic and econ management elements.

Other games

There are whole genres of games--Sim City, Dwarf Fortress, Minecraft, the building aspect of 4X games--that capture in small or large part what I love about map editors, with the same build-create-tweak-adjust cycle, though obviously on a distinct footing since they’re making them an actual game rather than a tool with which to create games. It scratches a similar itch, though: it’s all about combining aesthetic design with design of systems. I have a radical thesis which is that every game is improved with the inclusion of a map editor. The existence of a representational, navigable space is intrinsic to almost every genre of game (every game I can think of, though I don’t exclude the possibility that there are ones I haven’t thought of that don’t have that), and being able to use the same underlying rules--or to iterate on those rules--and apply them to a new space, especially a new space you can design for optimum fun rather than just relying on procedurally generated (inevitably samey) space, extends the life of games considerably.

My earliest and biggest interest is in RTSes with map editors, though, because I have a fervent, unquenchable love for the genre. Alas, as noted, it’s a genre that has never been super popular and is currently pretty marginal. THe challenges of making a good RTS engine--nevermind a fun-to-play RTS--are considerable, especially if you care about things like multiplayer (which is my favorite part of RTSes). A lot of entries in that genre now are in some sense hybrid. MOBAs, of course; but games like EU4 have RTSlike elements (and, being pausable, are in some ways the best of both worlds with regard to RTSes and turn-based games). I live in hope that the RTS genre will experience a minor renaissance one of these days, and we’ll get something worthy of being the successor to WC3 or AoE2. If you’re working on that--please, please, I’m begging you, release it with a map editor.

[f-nodragonart]

@blackeyedkids-official: Shin Godzilla is supposed to invoke radiation burns with his design and his whole thing is that he's an unnatural metamorphosis of whatever a Godzilla is supposed to look like in this continuity so I think it's intentional

@leafex: 2016 Godzilla is ugly as sin and I love him. The movie really sells that he's a walking ball of unnatural pain

ooooo I like that, actually. I’m a lot more willing to excuse his broken/warped look, if that’s the case

@party-werewolf: I don’t see what’s so hard to take seriously about shin Godzilla’s design. It’s supposed to look unnatural and imposing, whether or not it’s using a suit. 98 Godzilla just doesn’t have that presence or sense of awe. And yeah it’s not anatomically possible but that’s why it’s called science fiction, you gotta stretch your imagination.

come come, sit with me, right here-- yes, right here next to me. comfortable? good, now let me repeat to you, in no uncertain terms, the EXACT question that was posited to me about Godzilla in that ask:

“which iteration do you think has the more plausible/reasonable anatomy?”

I wasn’t asked to give an in-depth analysis on how each Godzilla’s design fits in their narrative, nor on the meta-commentary each design achieves. hell, I even SAID OUTRIGHT I hadn’t seen any of the movies besides 2014, so I couldn’t comment on the narratives. while I do appreciate context, as it helps me better understand the design (and possibly even gives me enough reason to give the designs a pass, as seen in my response to the replies above), at the end of the day, that wasn’t the purpose of that post. that post was PURELY an anatomical critique, and given context or not, Shin Godzilla has godawful anatomy. context may explain or even outright excuse bad anatomy in certain cases, but it’s important to still be able to recognize what actually even IS bad anatomy in the first place. not a lot of ppl are able to recognize bad anatomy, even if that bad anatomy is intentional, so I’ll ALWAYS point it out, no matter the context. especially considering, y’know, someone ASKED me to do exactly that

and as a quick side-note, I prolly didn’t elaborate as much as I should have on why I couldn’t take Shin Godzilla seriously. while the anatomy takes me out of the experience to some degree, it’s more the body’s movement and weight/presence on-screen that feels off (at least what I could see from various trailers like one, but maybe it isn’t as bad in the actual movie). from what I can see, the only part of the body that moves w/ any sort of life and fluidity is the tail, while the rest of the body is weirdly stiff. this is esp tru for the upper half off the body, w/ arms that I don’t see move at all, and a head that only moves for the close-up head-shot roaring scene. this may have also been intentional, to imply that Godzilla has been injured by the radiation, but it looks WAYY off when paired w/ such a mobile tail (like why isn’t the tail equally stiff from injury?). it just gives the impression of a dude in a suit that doesn’t have a lot of ability to move around and emote w/ the body, which is why I can’t take Shin Godzilla seriously

-Mod Spiral