#i love when women kill and also suck really bad. shes really fun as a character but good god like. the morri/son stormcloud is looming over

[volfoss]

talia deserved betterrrrr

[bcolfanfic]

young vets au brain dump - croz being complicated version

(disclaimer: i love croz. me making him a complicated little shit in this au should not be interpreted as character bashing. i find his journey over the course of mota fascinating and figuring out how to translate that to a different setting/different war has been a fun thought experiment for me. pls don’t jump me. messy characters make the world go round!)

him and jean met in high school. sweet babies.

then they *had* a baby a lot sooner than they were really expecting. both of em out of high school, but barley.

they love each other and do everything right but shit is hard and the military preys on people trying to make ends meet

so, well- 1+1=s 2 off to basic he goes.

ends up in afghanistan around the same time bucky and gale and all the other guys start rolling in there.

also ends up there with his bff from basic training, tech school and everything else. bubbles <3

the two of them end up bunking with demarco and douglas which is quite the right brain/left brain dynamic lol.

croz and bubbles' side of the room is snowglobes and kid pictures and demarco and douglas' side is women from magazines taped on the wall god love em.

gets along decently well with everyone but.

then bubbles dies and that's when everything really starts to go to shit.

i wrote a little about his initial fight with bucky about the IED that killed bubbles here.

they don't really make up from that.

for a long while.

croz is in a spiral about losing his best friend, bucky is starting to not do so well with the preindictment they're all in himself and they just. really set each other off.

kinda freaks everyone out bc they remember sweet baby face croz who puked a lot but now he's just different. damn war.

it gets to a point where him and bucky can't be in the same room without popping off at each other. and everyone else is having to micromanage them on top of having to do their actual jobs in war zone. (70% of the time its brady having to keep bucky away if not gale. croz's "insurance" buddies are rosie and douglas)

does end up getting involved with a girl in another unit

douglas and demarco clock it before anyone else bc he starts coming to bed at weird hours and they see him around this girl and just knowww.

pisses demarco off esp bc he had a whole Thing with finding out his girl back home cheated on him.

one night demarco decides to wait up for him to get back from wherever the fuck it is he goes with her at night and just about fucking jumps him and douglas has to pull him off (after he gets a good whack in)

it was a *loud* commotion of a fight lmfao bucky could hear it from their room and wanted to go see what was going on but gale was like noooppeee. no y' don't.

croz ends up telling jean everything. she forgives him. ("women! eliza could leave alex now for cheating on her. or not. as she wished." - vanessa nadal on eliza hamilton)

him and bucky make up during the pull out from afghanistan bc bucky just about saves his life in the chaos.

poor croz just breaks down crying/panicking about how he wants to go home. and bucky doesn't see that little shit that he's grown resentful towards, he sees that nervous pukey kid from when they first met

buttt...post war things get a little dicey again.

bc he stays in.

bagram sucked the war sucked but. he still has a family to provide for, he's not totally on the outs with the forces so he ultimately decides leaving would be more work than it's worth.

gets deployed to raf mildenhall base in england and gets to move with his wife and kiddos to england so. not a bad deal.

but there are. feelings. amongst the others about him staying in.

especially curt- who is the most "fuck all of that and the government too". getting his leg blown off fucked him up 7 ways to sunday and just completely shaped his view on it all.

the two of them get reallllly into it once when all the guys are together and it gets. ugly.

curt says a whole lot of shit about how he doesn't know how he can look at his kids knowing what they saw happen to kids overseas, what /they/ endorsed by being there. croz says its none of his business- he had his reasons for staying in, curt says name one that isn't selfish and it just. escalates. till they're both yelling and mean. croz eventually says something dumb on impulse about how he won't apologize for not letting the war radicalize him against his country and curt has to be yanked back from decking him lmfao. just another night!

if the others weren't all friends with both of em him and curt would not fuck with each other at allllll but. they love their friends more than they dislike each other so they smile and grind their teeth and *try*.

the whole thing with bucky's drinking issues brings them together because they're on the same page about that at least.

have a longgg talk when all that is going on. and it makes curt's chest hurt bc man he really has his issues with this kid but. he knows he's doing what he genuinely believes he has to, knows he only enlisted to begin with bc he felt like it was the only way he could provide for his family.

knows that all the issues he has with the guy the fuckin military is to blame for just as much if not more than croz is himself.

a more lighthearted side bar: bucky ribs him about staying in a little too- is just more lighthearted on it bc they have become more friendly since they left bagram (and get to being even better friends once they bucks have josie).

one night they're talkin when croz complains he can't do what he wants with his facial hair because of regs and bucky is like wellllll if you gotta the fuck outta there you could grow a handlebar mustache. don't let your dreams be dreams kid!

[lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks]

I have a really weird hyperfixation on The Mummy, but not the Boris Karloff or the Brendan Fraser versions, those would be completely acceptable movies to enjoy (and I do so enjoy them)

but I cannot stop thinking about The Mummy 2017 starring Tom Cruise and it's a problem

I love bad movies, I love them so much, I own so many b-grade horror flicks, old classic films with terrible acting and awful special effects, I love absolutely shit tier cgi, I love Ed Wood disasters, I love cult classic bad movies, I love really weird niche bad movies

but this one is like, such a special kind of bad movie, I can't really put my finger on exactly why though?? but I am damn well going to try, in this essay I will-

they fucked up from the get go by casting Tom Cruise, like this movie is sometimes deliberately goofy, but a lot of the time it takes itself very seriously, SO seriously, and I cannot physically take Tom Cruise seriously, he turns every single scene he is in into a joke by virtue of his mere presence

but when they have actual jokes, they are so not funny they cycle back around to being really fucking funny

I am watching this movie fucking whiff every god damn beat it tries to hit and it does it so beautifully it's a god damn marvel

Russel Crowe as Jekyll and Hyde??? I actually somehow missed the part where he introduced himself as Jekyll on my first watch, so the Hyde reveal was a true surprise to me and I was very genuinely disappointed on my second watch when I realised it was not supposed to be a surprise, because that was a really fun reveal

and Russel Crowe seemed to be having an absolute fucking whale of a time as Hyde, I loved every moment he was on screen with his stupid cockney accent, I would watch his movie, I know it would be bad, that's why I want it, because there is nothing quite like a bad movie with an actor still giving 110%

and the mummy character herself? she was supposed to be pharaoh and then her dad had a son with someone else and now this baby is jumping all up in her place like, okay baby murder might not be the coolest thing in the world but like, she's got ambition, she's getting shit done, she's hustlin' like go get it girl I'm rooting for you babe

also when she sucked the life out of some dude and turned him into a shrivelled husk my roommate said 'she could do that to me and I'd thank her' so she's got that going for her, like girl's a half rotten corpse wrapped in decaying bandages and she still slays

and then we have the completely ridiculous female rivalry??? like this mummy could kill this woman SO MANY TIMES and just doesn't???? for reasons?????? like she could literally kill her in an instant at any moment but no they gotta girl fight for a bit because Tom Cruise is at stake and why wouldn't two hot women fight over Tom Cruise right?? right????

nevermind the fact that he has been practically nothing but ✨The WooOOOOooorst✨ to her the WHOLE first act of the movie, oh and uh let's not forget the 'duh huh guy bad at sex' jokes that they just could not put down for a good chunk there (but wait! uh he's good at sex actually she's just being mean because he hurt her feewings)

like, this movie hits every fucking branch of the bad trope tree, this movie is playing bad trope bingo, it is collecting bad tropes like pokemon, it has to have them all

also a really bizarre ongoing American Werewolf in London reference?? it was not unwelcome, it was some of the best comedy in the movie (that is an easy bar to jump btw), the actor had some great wry line delivery, I enjoyed it

I think the biggest issue, and the reason I can't stop chewing on this magnum opus of garbage, is that it reminds me of the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, in several different ways

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen also happens to be another of my favourite bad movies, but it falls into the particular genre of bad movies, a fucking cool as shit concept, and some really cool as shit visuals, and some very cool as shit characters, but an absolute swing and a miss on the delivery

The Mummy 2017 starring Tom Cruise has That Vibe to me, there is some cool shit here, we know this because the previous version utilised that cool shit very very well, but this one was the only one who made the villain a woman pursuing a man, and not just any man, the ✨worst✨ man, you did not feel very sorry for this guy, honestly watching him go through the constant torment of being stalked by a bodacious supernatural babe who put a sexy little curse kiss on him was fun, he's a sopping wet little meow meow and I wanna see him thrown at a wall, and I get to see that several times, and it is a delight every time

in the previous movie the mummy went after really likeable characters, people who were just generally nice, a roguish scamp with a heart of gold, or just really hot, seriously that cast was beyond smoking what the fu

I did not like Tom Cruise as a character, and to be fair that was the point, he was supposed to have a redemption arc, the story and his sacrifice at the end were supposed to be about him becoming a better person

but he fucking doesn't??? it's like 'oh boo hoo I have made this great sacrifice and now I am a monster and I did it to save my lady love's life even though we had zero chemistry and I was just ✨The Worst✨ to her' and then he fucks off to go and do the exact same shit he was doing at the start of the movie, fucking around in the desert looking for boy adventures

it was a great ending and I loved it because it was so dumb and also he abandoned the woman he brought back to life to go fuck around with his bro who he also brought back to life, I love that for them, go have some boy adventures you madlads you sure didn't earn it but don't let that stop you, just heterosexually ride off into the sunset together it's fine, she is literally better off without you in every way you made the Correct Decision

and then there's these moments, moments that are treated like big moments, and could be really cool moments, but just don't fucking land

there's a part where Tom Cruise starts talking to the mummy in her own language (they got a psychic bond and shit which is it's own cool little thing we'll get back to that) and everyone is watching like 😮 oooh didn't know he could do that wow there really IS magic bond between them oooh, and it's like a Big Deal and Very Cool

but Tom Cruise just sounds like he's speaking gibberish with a mouth full of novocain???? it doesn't sound cool at all??? it sounds really goofy???? I half expected him to start drooling on himself

then there is the ending, leading lady dies, he completes the ritual to invite the god of death into his body (a fucking baller move honestly), he fights it for control as the mummy attempts to sway the beast inside him to her side, but when he sees his beloved laying dead he fights her off, using his newfound powers to defeat her, and then weeps over his lady love begging for her to wake up

and then as he lets the god inside him loose, a terrible monstrous visage takes him over as he bloodcurdlingly screams in her face WAKE UP!!! and the power within him that he doesn't understand and can barely control listens

she wakes, and sees him hiding in the shadows, unable to face her now that he has become something terrifying

at least that's what I think they thought the scene would be like, it was a little more like, some crappy flashback and speed up effects as he becomes the god of death, a really pathetic and uneventful 1 minute of him fighting for control, after which he has a really pathetic and uneventful 1 minute of fighting the mummy, and then as he screams for his lady love to wake up, we get a shot of some absolutely fucking god awful cgi and the most uninspired monster face I've ever seen

I mean, half seen, it was a very dark shot, in fact most of the movie is shot in the dark, a very blatant attempt to obscure the shithouse cgi

except in one scene where it kinda fucking slapped, where the mummy sucks the life out of some guys, and then reanimates their husky corpses as thralls, the way they stand like jerky unstable puppets being dragged to their feet by unseen strings was actually pretty fuckin' dope and the dark scene obscured the details in just the right amount to make their uncannily decrepit silhouettes appear super creepy

this is the only time that trick works, every other time I just want someone to turn on a fucking torch so I can actually see what the hell's going on

okay now let's get back to that psychic bond thing

our main character was chosen not because he was a descendant, or a reincarnation, or just Looked Real Pretty (although I think she did have the hots for him a leeetle bit which is like, girl raise your standards, it's Tom Cruise, he's about as sexually appealing as a wet potato, you can do better), he had absolutely zero in common with the mummy's original choice for this ritual, in fact that guy was not significant to the story at all, I think he was just some dude who was down for some ritual shenanigans 'cause a hot lady asked him (also he was hotter than Tom Cruise so this is a significant downgrade, I feel like if she had the opportunity to shop around a little she might have picked better)

so Tom Cruise wasn't chosen for any reason other than that he's the one who released her, and she sees this as her way of saying thank you, and I love that, it's real sweet, would love if I opened a door for someone and they repaid me by summoning a god of death into my body, that really shows they care you know?

she gives him a little hallucinatory kissy kiss and then manages to follow him everywhere, while also compelling him to follow her without him really knowing it, there is a very cool part where he's trying to drive away from her, but somehow ends up driving in a circle and falling right back into her clutches, that was cool, that had the potential to even be super fucking creepy, she can manipulate him without him even realising, it doesn't matter where he goes or what he does, he will always somehow find his way back to her, that's so good, I love that

and then back to the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen comparisons

The Mummy 2017 starring Tom Cruise established a concept of an organisation who hunt down, collect, and research supernatural phenomena, with a leader (Jekyll) who also has ulterior motives and is actually not really the good guy, this movie was also supposed to be part of a monster movie cinematic universe, so this really could have become like, the Universal Monster Movie equivalent of the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, and I would have watched the hell out of that, and I am crushed that this movie bombed so bad and ruined the whole plan

like could you imagine a whole series as bad as this movie? all culminating together as the most god awful Avengers style team up? fuuuck I want to live in that universe so bad

I think my fascination comes from this ungodly mix of real pure potential, those fleeting super fucking cool moments and concepts that, if given to literally any other actor, could have really been something, and the just pure insane failure to make literally anything in this plot successfully land a hit

somehow this movie felt like the completely dead and soulless corpse of a cheap party clown, while the ghost of something incredible flickered in its eyes

[aaronymous999]

Watched a banger Spideypool animatic and the more I think about it the more they just work for each other? In a lot of ways it’s Black Cat and Spider-Man but it’s works better imo.

Deadpool does many morally wrong actions similar to Black Cat but the difference between them is that Deadpool actually cares about Peter Parker, but he also cares about Spider-Man because he comes to learn that they’re one in the same. Black Cat on the other hand, as much as I love her she does not give two shits about photographer for the Daily Bugle, sweet dude Peter Parker, and I do appreciate fics and stories where she does but I can’t ever see her caring for that.

Also I think it’s majorly beneficial for Spider-Man to date another super person. Him and Kitty Pryde worked for the most part in the Ultimate Universe ( most of it was dragged down by needless drama to just get Peter and MJ back together so it was a bit rough ) but I think out of all the super human love interests Wade just works the best? He can’t really die, his healing factor prevents Peter from having to be really worried about him during battle and a key aspect of the team up comic I enjoyed was that Wade was entirely willing to stop killing for Spider-Man.

Deadpool when the hot spider guy gets mad at him for killing people so he just stops because he genuinely likes this guy and idk it’s sweet.

It’s often written off as a joke ship in a way, and I have a lot of problems with how they write Peter in the team-up comic personally- ( I HATE PARKER INDUSTRIES. ) but when you really think about it they actually work really well and are pretty healthy even outside the fun dynamic that initially draws you in.

I think because of the amount of love interests Peter has, I tend to have a different favorite ship based on his age group ( of course it depends on how the writers write the love interests too like sometimes Mary Jane sucks although she gets shit on way too much for it. )

I am an enjoyer of married MJ and Peter being happy like in Spiderverse but my favorite ship from the 25-30+ era for Spidey is definitely Spideypool, sorry MJ I do love women but Deadpool just wins her.

On the otherhand his early college era? Mary Jane 100%. In High School it’s more difficult because it really varies adaptation to adaptation- like in the OG comics Betty is a good first love interest despite poor 60s views of women- in the Ultimate comics Kitty Pryde is great- in Spectacular Spider-Man Liz is wonderful- in Marvel Adventures Chat is wonderful so I honestly can’t pick a favorite because it varies so much in this period in Peter’s life.

( Also Gwen is not included here just because she’s written the most inconsistent actually imo. She’s at her best in the Andrew Garfield movies but she’s bad in the OG comics imo. She’s a mixed bag in Ultimate Spider-Man and I much prefer her as not a love interest there. In Spectacular Spider-Man she’s fine but I don’t like how they forcefully break Liz and Peter up just to get them together I hate that trope. And I consider Spider-Gwen as not a Peter love interest sooo… )

[thegeminisage]

star trek update time! monday we did voy's "prey" and ds9's "honor among thieves" and last night we did voy's "retrospect" and ds9's "change of heart."

prey (voy):

man, i guess we really are just dealing with the hirogen for the rest of this season and possibly more huh...

like, theyre just not that interesting or scary? it's fun that they turn guys into little empty water balloons and all but that's really all they've got going for them

idk, voyager has a such a unique opportunity to do multiple cool "villain" aliens given the nature of their journey and they just keep coming up with duds. like at least romulans and klingons are cool, you know? the borg are cool. the kazon, vidiians, and hirogen have all kind of sucked. at least the vidiians had fun creep potential. they did wear that one guy's face.

however it gets a reluctant semi-pass from me because firstly the ethical debate was not so clear-cut - at first you were like yeah this alien is going bananas on our ship let this guy hunt it and then when he hunted it and it was so pathjetic and just wanted to go home you were like eeeh maybe just let it go home. not anything particularly deep, but still

and SECONLDY seven of nine and janeway's tension...fucking crackling. i don't like that janeway was so mean to her at the end and seven has a GREAT point that janeway is sort of afraid of who she's becoming (someone "cold") and wants her to become a more acceptable kind of person...man, the autism. anyway that scene was great. the rest of the episode kind of sucked though

honor among thieves (ds9):

the premise of this one is awfully shaky...like, starfleet can just order o'brien to do undercover work against his will? sure??

also, i know this bond was supposed to be more father/son but honestly they just played it like two byofriends falling in love. which was hilarious, but cannot sustain an episode

like. most of it was pretty boring. we didn't even get a good little vorta freak. i know they can't use weyoun bc he would have recognized o'brien instantly but also can we not find some other little freaky twink...we've done it before. come on

also, it was a fucking bummer. like he had to leave behind his cat and just die.

like it had very little substance or lasting impact...it wasn't even a good o'brien suffering episode. idk. surprising dud from ds9

retrospect (voy):

ooh when i tell you this episode made me mad.

i actually saw the summary on imdb, suspected it would be hinky, and then read the background info on memory alpha to get a better idea of what was gonna go down. i figured it would makle me really really REALLY mad and i was right but if i had sat thru that whole episode thinking seven had been raped or sorry metaphorically raped or whatever and then it turned out the aesop was about the danger of FALSE MEMORIES AND FALSE ACCUSATIONS i would have been beside myself

like sure yes false memories can and do happen and that's real bad. however, this whole episode was anti believe women. like, the emh looks like a stupid jackass for believing a woman. tuvok and janeway look smart for doubting and questioning her. etc etc

and then of course seven gets traumatized when she's ALREADY having a bad time/in trouble and then has to feel bad that this guy killed himself or whatever

and then on memory alpha it says they meant to leave it deliberately vague as to whether he assaulted her or not which 1. that didn't seem very vague, it seemed like seven was a silly little liar for believing the emh and the emh was fucking stupid for believing seven. and then poor uwu guy who killed himself 2. IS NOT EVEN A GREAT STAND-UP GUY. DID WE NOT SEE HIM SHOVE HER AND YELL AT HER. maybe if he shoved her he deserved to get his nose broken! lmao at how everyone wanted to two-sides that encounter as well when we clearly saw him get physical first 3 IF IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE VAGUE WHY DID EVERYONE AT THE END CHOOSE TO BELIEVE IT WAS FALSE like it's """left open""" but also the emh begs janeway to KILL HIM at the end so he can never fuck up this bad again?? it's not left vague, it's a fucking copout

whoever wrote this should be ashamed. they probably vote third party. fucking asshats. easily the worst in s4 so far and perhaps in the ranking for worst voyager episode so far

change of heart (ds9):

WAHHHH this one was so good

i've always thought worf and dax were cute but i was never INVESTED before this. you know?? now i'm invested. and i do unfortunately know how things go for jadzia in the futuire

i really thought worf would never leave her there but he DID and then he went back..........wah

AND!!!!!!!!!!!!! sisko had to yell at him about it officially but personally told him he did the right thing WAHHHH

i hope jadzia got the honeymoon of her fucking life later. jesus christ she's got him totally wrapped around her little finger. like the heart eyes he gives her...absolutely incredible

card game: i thot bashir was acting to put quark off guard. like he was pretending to be sad. but no. he really did get got.

hilarious also that quark continues to pine.......she really did break so many hearts huh. worf got sooo lucky

TONIGHT: we haven't decided yet, it's either voy's "killing game parts 1 & 2" or ds9's "wrongs darker than death or night" and "inquisition." i definitely know which of those I'M looking forward to most.

[fiberglassandflowers]

Hey idk if there’s some master post about mbts but if there is may I please ask where and if not could I perhaps humbly request a description because it sounds cool as FUCK

omg yayy okay so there's not a masterpost as of now (though there is a google doc in the works that will probably be. very big) BUT i will try to give a brief rundown. underneath a readmore 👍

OK SO. IN SUMMARY

MARY BELL TOWNSHIP: more like mary bell CLOWNSHIT ha ha. heavy surveillance like everywhere (including in peoples homes. how fun). it's also got some like radiation stuff going on. all the residents are a lil radiation poisoned But it's mostly fine. also the town moves and i dont know why.

VANNIE OVERTURE: based on suburbia overture. the mayor who is a vampire. major control freak. sucks shit. like most of the reason mary bell is the way it is. permasmile swag. has killed before. hates when people are weird freaks and is actively passive aggressive if not outright aggressive.

TRIP LETWO: based on 2econd 2ight 2eer. world's silliestguy contrarian and infamous public nuisance. deeply tortured individual but shes dealing with it i guess. physically cant leave mary bell township. he has too much goddamn lore

LYDIE LAPLACE: based on laplace's angel. so lame. just deeply lame. killed a guy and got kicked out of office building heaven (laplace's inc. id give this its own section but it doesnt really matter all that much). i dont ever think about it unfortunately im sorry women.

MINA BYRD: based on i/me/myself. very sweet very nice. ladybugpilled socialanxietycel. doesnt have a whole lot going on but she is nice im glad shes there. im gonna have a significant relationships section of this but im saying that shes roommates with lia here bc its not really significant otherwise

WALTER LEE: based on ...well, better than the alternative. worlds first cis father to be a butch lesbian. probably a girl but she doesnt know that. weird nostalgia issues so bad his wife left him.

DOTTY LEE: ten years old. strange little girl but i dont really think about it a lot. not much else to say about her really.

LIA CRATES: based on outliars and hyppocrates. her name is pronounced like lie-uh cray-tees not lee-ah crayts. i have to clear this up because i realized most people were wrong LMAO. a little mean but not so much when you get to know her.

WARREN LEARY: based on blackboxwarrior. actually the worst therapist you will EVER meet. isnt even licensed. you book a session with her and she only talks about herself the entire time. constantly referencing a dark and contradictory past.

MARSHA TILLIS: based on marsha, thankk you for the dialectics. slightly better therapist! still not that good. has the spirit of an old man despite being in his 40s. will begin to psychoanalyze your behavior upon the first thirty seconds of knowing you.

NORMAN LEE: based on love, me normally. guy trying really really hard to be a regular guy. has a loooot of problems that stem from this. hugest people pleaser the world has ever known. a little bit offputting. has hair symbolism :-)

MORTIMER: based on memento mori. doesn't have a last name. worlds silliest grim reaper death thing. works in the death division for laplace's inc. lived a pretty normal life. then it died :-(. more here

FERN O'DYNAMIC: based on thermodynamic lawyer. hates his bitch wife (who is a praying mantis for. unknown reasons? will elaborate). just has a lot of anger inside him and doesnt know how to deal with it so he takes it out on other people. he kind of sucks but he's a neat character.

MIRANDA WRIGHT: the person being sung about in thermodynamic lawyer. bug wife (i can blame anything on radiation). she wasnt always a bug she just kinda did that idk. there's not much about her but she's an etymologist.

COTARD LETWO: based on cotard's solution. she has so many problems oh my gooood. deeply lonely person. fascinated with the macabre. its like coping mechanism that makes you worse. im insane about her writing a basic description is so difficult fkdjsfhsjd

RAMONA MCLAREN: based on red moon + hand me my shovel (though the latter was included later on bc it fit her). worlds most intelligent and stupid single celled organism. patheticswag. absolutely batshit insane. attempting to solve the end of the world.

KUIPER SUNSHINE: based on dr sunshine is dead. uh. i dont really know much about her to be honest SORRY... its really silly though + haver of prophetic dreams that she is NOT transparent about. fucks with people a lot just for funsies

COLIN THESIER: based on cover this song. girl who used to be in a band but got kicked out bc of friend drama. survivor of a toxic codependent queer friendship. trying to be a better person bc she used to suck pretty bad unfortunately. a bit more here

theres like a couple more characters but none of them are really important enough to give their own sections. debbie letwo is trip and cotards mom, laplace is the head of laplace's inc, maude is walter's ex wife who left him (heres the scoop on that).

OK NOTABLE CHARACTER DYNAMICS TIME:

VANNIE/NORMAN: norman has been pretending to be a normal dude this whole time + vannie totally fell for it. normans stuck in this friendship bc hes too much of a people pleaser to break it off even though vannie actively drains him emotionally. also he feels validated by vannie thinking hes normal. its so awful im so insane about their dynamic

VANNIE/TRIP: THEY HAAAATE EACH OTHER. their entire core beliefs are at odds (guy who thinks everyone should do their best to conform vs. guy who loves being a weird freak and doing fuck all). their dynamic is honestly pretty simple in comparison but theyre so petty and stupid its insane. if you put them alone in the same room one of them isnt coming out

TRIP/NORMAN: theyre gay together. there's a weird lore thing about the way relationships are handled in mary bell but long story short theres paperwork that has to be filled out if you want to be registered for one and trip thinks its really funny for xem and norman to constantly break up so they'll have to fill out the paperwork because it fucks with vannie. theyre also kind of awful and tragic

WALTER/DOTTY: that is a father and his daughter. walters trying his best and hes doing well but nothing would have been better than just moving out of mary bell township to raise his child.

WALTER/NORMAN: they’re brothers 👍 not much else to say there but they’re cool

WALTER/MAUDE: already linked a more in-depth explanation of their deal but ill summarize it here. maude thought living in mary bell township was really bad for a child (and it is) but since walter has issues about idealizing his childhood he was like "whaaat well i was raised here and im fine" and they fought about it and once it became clear walter wasnt changing his mind maude figured shed just spare herself from all of it. so she left 💯

WARREN/MARSHA: what if the two worst therapists ever were queerplatonic and violated hipaa together. also what if one of them [marsha] was helping the other [warren] because they're on the run from the law. would that be crazy or what

FERN/MIRANDA: actually awful. they really want to divorce but trip and norman keep clogging up the paperwork so theyre on a waiting list forever. their relationship was really good at one point but its not anymore :-( more info here

NORMAN/FERN: fern haaates norman because of the previously mentioned paperwork debacle but normans ass cant deal with the thought of anyone disliking him so hes just been really trying to get on his good side to no avail. also theyre coworkers so its more relevant

MORTIMER/TRIP: man how do i even summarize this one. due to lore reasons that you can read about in the link provided in trips session they have a super weird dynamic present day. or at least on trips end, mortimer is just super friendly to them and it wigs her out.

TRIP/COTARD: OUGUIGHJ. AOAUYFGDSFHSJ. tragic sibliiings. man i dont even know if i can go into this. go here and here if you want to learn more about them. jesus

COTARD/COLIN: frienndsss :-] classic extrovert forcing themselves into introverts life trope a little bit. they play music together and its great. mina's also in their little group but the two of them are closer

KUIPER/RAMONA: have been described by my friend as being "nonromantic freak4freak" and this is true. theyre working together on the end of the world stuff. they also rope cotard into it but thats lore i havent talked much about yet. go here and here for more info about them.

that might??????? be it?????? if there's more ill update it but thats the general basics i think. thank you for being interested and hopefully reading i greatly appreciate it :-)

[chemicalarospec]

my dad invited me and my brother to watch Firefly with him and it's actually really good??? (idk why I expected it not to be-- probably because the last time I tried one of his old Spaceship Shows (the one with the puppets) it was too sexist and too slow to get through.) First of all it should have been ILLEGAL for them to not have a single Chinese character in this show, but as a Chinese person I do like the aesthetics of the show and how they mashed up traditional Western and Chinese styles. The pronunciation is hilariously bad (IF ONLY THEY HAD A CHINESE ACTOR, HUH), but I like it because it's funny. (Me and my brother do laugh out loud every time.)

But the characters are actually so good?? First of all we got THREE FOUR (I didn't count right lmao) female main characters, no smurfette principal here! One of them doesn't even have any implied romance so far okay technically River doesn't but I was thinking of Kaylee and she has a crush on Simon lol. Kaylee, my favorite -- I LOVE how her appreciation of girly feminine stuff is portrayed as something that should NOT be mocked and does not negate her more "masculine" role as the mechanic and that she can nerd out WHILE being feminine. There's also how Mal, the main character, and Zoe, his first mate, have a longstanding and deep connection that's entirely platonic! Men and women CAN just be friends! Do note, Zoe (who is awesome btw) is married to another man, the pilot who is honestly so far the most boring character, and Mal is interested in Inara. Who, speaking of, I also love how so far Inara's profession as a (unionized it seems!) sex worker is treated with respect. River is the most ~okay~ in terms of sexist writing as a weak and mysterious and mentally unwell but sexy woman, but since she's not the only woman it doesn't feel like a big deal. (I feel like she's going to become more grounded, at least I hope so because I want to see more of her personality!) Misogynistic comments are challenged when made! Of course the writing isn't perfect but it's a LOT better than what I expected (and if a modern show didn't do the things I'm praising here I would be offended btw).

Also River's brother Simon is a complete dandy (I think it would be stereotyping for me to call him gay lmao), I love that for him. Episode one he bleeds from his mouth like a dying c-drama boy-- I just had a Vision of the resemblance and now I can't get it out of my head, all he needs to do his open his eyes super wide and then he'd be a dying c-drama boy. He cares for his sister so much, it's super sweet even though he REALLY sucks at dealing with psychosis(? would that be the term to describe her episodes?). Book is an instant icon of course, he's just there forcibly being the moral compass lol. Christianity in space smh. Despite being mr sexism I also love Jayne's character - he's funny (love a guy who's always trying to kill) and the question of his loyalty is intriguing. Mal is a kind of a Generic Protagonist Man but his backstory is solid enough that means his brooding attitude actually makes sense. The "Badger" side character is funny/interesting too, and my bro says he looks like Captian Sparklez haha. (Wash (Zoe's husband) is there. Sometimes he's funny.)

Going back to the design, I am partial to Victorian or whatever aesthetics, so I love how they threw that in along with the cowboy thing, and there's a lot of individual pieces merging Chinese aesthetics with that that I think do a great job. It speaks to my mixed heart <3. The costuming is actually so fun (mostly speaking to crowd scenes), so many characters get to wear distinctive outfits . Also kind of Killjoys vibes because they say "shiny" haha. I respect how space shots have no environment noise, only cowboy music lollll. Visual effects are interesting; you can always Tell but it does seem to me the best they could do at the time.

Wow this post turned out longer than I expected. So a recommendation for Firefly I guess! Forewarning, the parts with the "Reavers" are pretty dark/grotesque -- actually, there's significant violence throughout the show, the Reavers are just the worst.

[rontra]

who The Fuck is manhunter

god this is such a good question. who the fuck IS manhunter. well okay so let me pose a counter-question. what if women sucked and were not fun to hang out with. do we still support their wrongs?

no okay (visibly trying not to laugh) heres the girlcrush of the day. she's got what ive jokingly called "bull-in-a-china-shop lifestyle". her name is kate she's a famous federal prosecutor who specializes in prosecuting supervillains. and brother she loves pushing for the death penalty. one day when she was pushing so so hard for the death penalty, the jury did not go for it. and she got so so so mad that she decided to go find and kill the guy herself

and she liked it.

so she blackmails some guy in the witness protection program into being her gadget guy & from then on she's the vigilante "manhunter" (yay!) who kills bad guys she thinks deserve it. when she's out there she's basically operating on a completely circular logic that goes like "well if i can't kill this villain here, i'll simply get him the death penalty in court (which i'm very good at), and if that falls through, i'll just go back to Plan A (killing him with my own hands)" and it's like girl i think you just kind of Like Killing. good luck with that

it's like what if batman not only loved killing and jumped directly to it every time, but was also working With & Inside the system at the same time to ensure there is no other way for things to end. that's a weird thing to do, right? girl? this is weird?...

& like MAYBE in 2004 america this setup was written to appeal to a certain type of reader who'd go "yeah girl the System never gives the bad guys what they Deserve lets fucking go #justice" . i couldn't really tell you to be honest (and her murder mettle is proven entirely in scenarios that are like "well maybe she's morally in the clear here because the guy in question is a cartoon snake-man who eats people") (to me personally, on its face, this all reads like the origin story for a supervillain lawyer named Death Row or something. but that's just another part of her womanly charm in my eyes.) what i CAN tell you is that deciding to become a coldblooded premeditated killer in her spare time is Really cutting into both her professional and private life and now her ex-husband is suing for full custody of their son

oh yeah. she has a son and she is like a deadbeat mother she never shows up on time she forgets to pick him up and he hates going to her house when it's her weekend she is NOT doing a good job on this one. figuring out how to actually mom this kid is also kind of a thing for her and she DOES figure it out but i have to tell you. her Divorced Milf Who Totally Sucks appeal. VERY High

man. yeah she's always getting her shit pushed in during fights because She Is Just A Lawyer but she just like Walks it off (girl...). she's addicted to nicotine in a major way. she's cold and cranky and would not be fun to hang out with. she's terrible at banter. she actually sucks to the point it makes me feel Bad for her ex-husband who has to keep hounding her like "don't forget to pick up our SON" it's kind of a feat to be honest. she just sort of is charging blindly into things and wrecking her life because she has a chip on her shoulder and Maybe Enjoys Killing but at least she's also got a certain failgirl swag about it

there is a major theme of like, legacy, but crucially (and most interestingly, imo) most of the time kate is completely ignorant of said legacies existing around her while she's stomping through the porcelain with her hooves until they rear up to bite her directly in the ass, which i enjoy very much. she is very much focused on her own thing and consumed by her own motivations and does not really give a shit about these things and it's a major issue every time. even "manhunter" itself is a name that's been used by multiple dc characters (sometimes simultaneously) (including a whole cult), which suddenly becomes a problem for her when someone starts murdering all the other manhunters until she's the only one left standing. uh oh! i was just doing my own thing and thought the name sounded cool! noooo!

there's also the very pointed matter of her gear which is all "borrowed" from just like. the lockup. (girl...) so she's wearing someone else's suit and someone else's gauntlets and using someone else's weapon (actually one of the previous manhunters! there's that manhunter lineage again!) and while the audience is treated to a whole issue elaborating on the backstories of these things, kate herself is completely unaware and uninterested in the significance and legacy of these hand-me-downs because she picked them out at complete random to go do premeditated killing. it's really underscored in an interesting way how much she just is kind of bulldozing straight through everything--whether it's her own life or her proverbial predecessors--towards her own ends

the whole lineage and legacy thing is something of a Theme i guess. especially when it turns out her own biological father is an absolute sicko with a murder charge and he's on his way right now to bulldoze her life for his own ends. that's funny. maybe she's got that serial killer gene from riverdale,

jokes aside i would give her a 10/10 failwife cringemilf rating, with ample extra points awarded for being divorced, for the broken ribs, and for how much i would hate hanging out with her if she were real. this is a certified manhunter post. i hope you enjoyed it.

(reading manhunter 2004 and shaking my head sternly the whole time but also smiling. so people know i don't support the death penalty but i Do support women's wrongs)

[anyoldfandom]

wait hol' up i gotta hear those Bobo Thoughts. hes such a fascinating character and the way he was used was so all over the place (like straight up vanishing when it was Serious Episode Time lmao) but,, thats Rex's friend! weird uncle? Moral compass but pointing the wrong way?? Always had such mixed feelings about his writing

Bobo is like. The thing about Bobo is he's such a good fucking character potential. I said most of my thoughts in this reply so I don't really have much more to say besides Wow they really did just make the potential for a really interesting character and blew it for jokes about harassing women. There was so much THERE where he COULD be funny while still being a serious character - plenty of the time Rex is silly and goofy while still being a serious character.

Exposed imo is one of, if not the best Bobo episode for the simple fact that he was actually a funny comedy relief character while still being Bobo, actually. It didn't really dive into him as a character, but he did have some pretty good lines ("That cage was electromagnetically sealed" "I didn't say it was easy" got a chuckle out of me, as well as "Are you going to just stand there and talk or help me?" "Talk.")

But also in my rewrite of Bobo, he's...well, he trusts in Rex's abilities, and he knows at the end of the day he doesn't really have superpowers or healing like the kid, but he's way more concerned for him. He notices how Rex makes jokes when he's stressed and makes jokes with him, to help ease tensions and get Rex to crack a smile when things are tough. He sits with the kid and talks because he knows he's also an adult, but he knows he's easier for Rex to relate to than other soldiers at base. Even with as much as Holiday and Six love Rex and are there for them, they're still in positions of authority over him - Bobo, meanwhile, is another EVO, who knows he can talk to Rex about how much it sucks not to have people like them. I don't have the link on hand but I remember in @bambeptin's interview where the show creators mentioned how Bobo was like a weird uncle, and I think they should've played into that dynamic more. Bobo encouraging Rex to be reckless and sneak out and see what he can get away with when his parents and Providence aren't looking.

Also, the show just kind of...forgets that Bobo made Robobobo and I think that'd be fun to play with. Bobo surprising everyone with how smart he is, all the skills he picked up over his time doing crime on the streets that Rex doesn't remember/know about. He could've contributed to the team so much in S3 by being the guy who knows how to break into places without hurting or killing people (like Six and WK know), occasionally peeking at Holiday's work and pointing something out bc she's an overthinker (all the adults in the Providence Fam in S3 kind of are in their own ways) and he goes at things to try to find the easiest solution. Hell, even have jokes about him being surprisingly smart - have characters talk about something super complex and Bobo surprises everyone by understanding it. Have everyone getting ready to kick down a door and have Bobo say "And here I thought I was the animal" or some joke like that and pick the lock. Hell, have him try to open a door and see that it's unlocked while everyone's prepping to kick it in.

Have Bobo be just...a smart and logical guy and have that be the joke. He looks ridiculous, constantly makes jokes and acts dumb, but reminders that he IS smart can be funny, and him being cheeky can be funny! Hell, the show kind of hinted at potential but never went through but Bobo and Six having a rivalry bc they both think the other is bad for Rex at first (and have a history of clashing that we see in Promises Promises) could be VERY funny! Especially because it would pair Six's very blunt personality with Bobo's ridiculousness and refusal to act seriously. There's potential there but they just...went for easy jokes and it's a shame, because Bobo had so much potential to be great.

[ladyloveandjustice]

Blue Beetle was a fun movie with a great cast! You should go see it if superheroes are your thing, Jaime deserves it! It does stick close to the superhero origin formula in a lot of ways, but the chemistry between the cast, the focus on some heavier themes, and the fact Jaime's family was extremely involved throughout the entire movie kept it really entertaining.

Quick rundown of things I really liked and some not so liked things:

Liked:

-Jaime's family, but especially Nana the revolutionary. I loved that each of them got a moment to shine

-Harvey Guillen's De La Cruz-verse

-The Scarab learning Spanish was so adorable!

-Jaime's Mom getting a 'kick their asses' moment like in the comics and also talking directly to the scarab.

-When Kord cops went after Jaime's family it was really well done. You could feel the terror there.

-The heart to heart moments were also all well done

-Just Jaime in general as a character. They kept him sweet and relatable.

-It had a solid character arc and focus on characters, which is a miracle in the modern superhero landscape

-Honestly tragic villain backstory flashbacks usually don't get to me, but they handled this one really well. It hit hard.

-A movie that truly understand 'don't trust the cops' and 'there's no jobs in this economy, especially for minorities." The reference to the fact there were undocumented people in Jaime's family was also well done, and contrasted the original comic never really taking a stance on that.

-the fact that Jaime was so against killing people but his family absolutely wasn't and racked up a massive body count was lowkey very funny.

-Victoria was definitely hateable, glad she died.

Some stuff I'm like 'hm that wasn't a great change':

-I don't understand why they put cliche superhero beats that aren't even in the source material in this. Jaime's dad didn't have to die. He doesn't in the comics and that's what made his comic different. He didn't have a tragic classic superhero origin. Why give him one and make him MORE like everyone else?

-Also the fact the villain amounts to 'Blue Beetle and...Antagonist Blue Beetle' like 99% of Marvel villains. I think this was used a lot more meaningfully than most examples of the trope, but it's still overdone. They could have had a similar character but given him different powers than Blue Beetle that he was experimented on to have, something that would be difficult for him to go up against and give contrast. Or picked a villain from the comics. There were a ton of options.

-the girlfriend/Ted's daughter character was very bleh, which is a shame, because the original comic had really fun female characters outside Jaime's family as well as inside. The movie is still better than male superhero origins in the female character department overall because the women inside Jaime's family are so cool, it just sucks they couldn't have a love interest with a vibrant personality too. Her sad rich girl schtick just wasn't compelling.

-There was barely any conflict between Jaime and the scarab, compared to the comic, where it was like...the main thing. Jaime was just like "hey don't kill people' and the khaji da was like 'okay' pretty easily. I don't get why they didn't explore that a lot more, because 'trying to bond with something programmed to kill and deprogram it' is so meaningful and could lead to some really fun comedy too? The lack of struggle also made the reversal they pulled at the end less meaningful.

-Honestly I personally didn't need so much about Ted, let Jaime stand on his own for the first movie with Ted being mentioned a few times and leave the discoveries about Ted for later movies. I'm probs in the minority there!!! I like Ted, but this is about Jaime. It also kinda sucks they made Ted a bad dad with a fridged wife.

-I also think they shouldn't have made Victoria a victim of sexism, i guess they were trying to give her a sympathetic quality or something, but it didn't work. "She was passed over for the company because of sexism but that turned out to be a good thing" is kind of like...idk why is that there.

-Harvey Guillen died :(

But overall, solid movie, and I hope they get to do more.

[zanyzensblog]

Suletta Sunday omg holy crap!

My reactions More or less in order. But probably a jumbled mess. Spoilers ahead. 

Ahem...

Oh wow we’re really just getting right into it.

Damn, Suletta really loves her mom and sis and doesn’t want them to become even bigger war criminals.

Damn it Laudna, you’re emitting peak incel women hating energy right here. Stop it.

Suletta is officially the best damn pilot of the show, maybe Eri was holding back a bit but still the fact she’s flying through all of Aerial’s bits is something I don’t think even Guel in a gundam could really do.

Somebody else is in the data storm? Oooo our elusive Notrette perhaps?

Oh crap, the Assembly league has a death star. A big one. Annnnd of course those bene gesserit looking bitches are not only saving their own skins but making a play to be the top dogs. Ugh.

Elan 5 a little bit of a badass. 

*Gives gun to Belmira “I could never” (oh come you know you’ve basically killed scores) “I’m not giving a gun to a student.” (Damn it I almost like this guy even though he killed Nadim and basically started this whole mess)

“where did you get a gun?” “Who cares?” LOL

I always knew Haro’s were evil. Always knew it!

Damn Propera hitting them with the “You didn’t think I would change the password?” good villainess shit there.

Damn it Laudna, why do you suck sooo damn bad? Guel just kill his ass, the additional ptsd will be worth it.

Oh damn Guel is gonna die nooooooo not our boy!

*Sees flashback of when Guel met Laudna and Guel was immediately an accepting big brother happy to have a little bro.* Sniff, I’m not crying. Damn bro.

Felsi you goddamn miracle. MVP. Would have bet money one of the brothers was gonna die but nope, not if Felsi had any say in it. Attagirl!

Miorine calling out Prospera’s clear favoritism of Eri over Suletta.

Miorine remembering what I assume is a whole ass genome sequence she learned of yesterday that translates to an I love you from her mother to override Quiet Zero was absolutely baller and she’s got a galaxy brain if there ever was one. 

Damn Bel, way to step up a bit.

Damn Elan5, nice shot.

Miorine basically telling Prospera “I’m marrying your daughter no matter what, we’re gonna be a family. So deal.” Happy Pride month indeed! Love to see it!

Oh crap, here comes the double cross from the bigwigs, they’re a firing the laser!

Eri noo!

Prospera’s mark? What’s going on there?

ERI NOOOOOO!!

Holy crap most of Aerial actually survived that? That Gundam really is built different. But did Eri still die? Is there anything left of her? If not, Prospera’s gonna utterly freaking lose it on somebody. 

Closing thoughts Next episode is called the Final Episode? Huh, feels a little weird to title something that. I doubt this series is gonna get another season (Really wish it would, it’s done pretty damn solid storytelling for the amount going on and the small amount of episodes it has. Though still it definitely could have benefited from more episodes and a little more time to breathe and develop certain plots) 

I mean hopefully maybe it’ll at least get a movie (Gundam 00 did it) or a spinoff at worst (freaking Gundam Seed had like 3 right?) So here’s hoping we get to see more of this Gundam timeline cause damn, they made a solid and fun anime with this one. Last episode I’m almost positive we’re gonna get Delling talking about what exactly happened to Notrette and why he made Quiet Zero (I’m still positive it’s a Gendo Ikari thing, I’ll eat a hat if I’m wrong.) and also, hopefully we’ll finally get to hear wedding bells!! Get the best dresses! Chuchu should be Miorine’s maid of honor and Guel should Suletta’s best man! Don’t @ me.

[peachfuzz-nygma]

as per anon's request: my dnd character

this is my first campaign and my first character so i've grown very fond of him but in the worst way possible. the campaign we're playing rn is curse of strahd so def some spoilers ahead. and yapping warning also

elidyr (he/him) is a half-elf warlock. since curse of strahd is a gothic horror vampire campaign he is a vampire hunter. his charisma is Extremely high and it shows. alignmentwise he's lawful evil or neutral evil. he's very egotistical. flirts with anything that moves. doesn't think before speaking. no morals really. just a general asshole. the thing is i didn't mean it to go this far. i knew i wanted to start off with a little ego but after the first few sessions i was having too much fun playing the asshole. it's so fun seeing the player's/character's and dm's reaction to his chaos. especially since one of the characters is a paladin so his morals are high. i love seeing his reaction when i do something wild. (ofc good to note that you can play an asshole without them being an actual bigot). but i've grown very fond of him. not love or hate but a third secret thing. there's been so many times where he has been tooooo close to death (like the time i got stabbed so bad that now my guts are fully fucked and i can't do actions in battle without throwing a 12 or higher) and i get sad because he's such a fun character to play and i don't want to lose him

one of my favorite parts about him is his luck in battles WHICH SUCKS. but we always laugh about it afterwards. I KEEP HAVING MY HP AT NEGATIVE?? but characterwise it makes it so fucking funny. having this big ego and then keeps getting beat up. honestly he deserves it (but don't die pls)

our dm mentioned that elidyr's luck reminds her of gotham penguin (honestly her mind. i didn't even know she'd even seen gotham. my brain was so happy about this comment). and i totally agree. elidyr keeps failing but somehow keeps ending up more powerful and more egotistical. also the way pengi jumps on board with anything and everything that benefits him personally even if it went against his other connections is so elidyr

okay lastly i just want to list some of my favorite things about elidyr that has happened in this campaign so far

as a joke we all rolled a d20 for dicksize and ofc i rolled the lowest and it checks out. big ego, small dick

started off by having my eldritch blast come from a hip thrust but now i just forget to do it so i just use my hands

in one battle there was this energy orb type thingy with a baby in the middle. i/elidyr said that we should just kill it. during this we had no idea i was right and we were actually supposed to do that. but everyone was so in shock that he would even suggest that. but characterwise he was the only one in the group who had the guts to do it. so he did kill a baby (but it was like an evil energy)

lady from a tavern telling a rumor about the town having a basement somewhere where you could hear screams from. then she asks is there something she can do for us and i flirtingly answered "do you have a basement where you can scream?"

elidyr eats drugged up pie and sees dreams about kids praising him and wanting to be him and women loving him

my personal want to smash the vampires keeps coming in the way of my character who hates them and wants to kill them

rebels taking over the town and executing the mayor and his family. elidyr was so hyped about this. i wrote in my notes: "they had to pull elidyr away from watching the execution. he was just so hyped. he isn't even pro-revolution, he just likes seeing people die. imagine a fratboy watching the superbowl"

willing to drug a possessed child without letting others know

lasty a picture of this fucker. i really wish i had a pc so i could download the free dragon's dogma character maker. but picrews work really well for dnd characters

[sakebytheriver]

Just saw Barbie and it was exactly what I expected, a fun way to kill a couple hours with a good friend dressing up and getting pink food before watching a fairly enjoyable movie I'll probably never watch again

The cast was great as I expected, the big stand outs for me were definitely America Ferrera, she delivers a speech that a lesser actress could have butchered and made incredibly cringe, but she nailed it perfectly for the movie she was in and also Ryan Gosling, he was incredibly genuine in everything he did, he's a very genuine actor in general, you look into his eyes and you believe him everytime

Yes, I understand why Simu's agent staked their whole career on this role

The feminist messaging was very surface level and extremely broad and in no way encapsulates the entirety of intersectional feminism or literally anything past the idea of "women can do anything men can do" and there was also an insanely cringey part where the teenager dresses Barbie down with a whole bad stereotypical gen Z rant about consumer capitalism that really reminds you this movie is being made by a conglomerate of giant corporations and the "Mattel" company in the movie is just .... bad. Absolutely ruins the entire movie. Will Ferrell tried his best, but there was absolutely no way to salavage a single one of those "Mattel" executive parts, so sorry, not even Daniel Day Louis himself coming out of retirement could have sold those roles, they were absolutely awful, Disney channel level of villainry and writing was put into those guys

I have one last thought about a scene I would have done differently, but it's super spoilery so I'm gonna put it under a read more and say my conclusion here,

It was a fun excuse to get dressed up like a Barbie doll and spend the day with my friend, I went in with super low expectations in the hopes that they'd be beaten and they were, it was better than I thought, but also about what I expected. Your uncle buck will complain about the overhanded feminist messaging, but not the way I do! And if you get high like me you might even cry when you think the dad is dead until it's revealed he's actually just off somewhere sucking at Spanish.

All in all Barbie was a fun movie with absolutely nothing under the surface which I will never watch again 💕🫡

Okay, so for all you bitches who've seen the movie or don't care about spoilers, there is a moment where Barbie has to decide whether she wants to be human or not and a montage of a bunch of home family videos starts playing on the screen in a dreamy haze

This moment was at the very end of the movie and it was also The Best Part. Period. Habds down. End of sentence.

And they didn't even execute it right

The montage moves much too slow and it ends way too fast, it should have been the other way around, make it twice as long and twice as fast, have it start of slow and then ramp up more and more and more getting faster and flashier and the music swells and it's huge and big and there's videos of kids at playgrounds intercut with people at funerals and people watching loved ones dying then cut to a wedding and then to a kids first day of school. This montage should have been absolutely jam packed with stuff and it should have been hitting the audience way faster until the end when it hits the cresendo and we cut back to Barbie and the air feels like it gets physically ripped out of her chest violently as she says, "Yes."

In the movie the montage lasts about as long as it took me to think, "oh this is the best scene in the movie" and there's absolutely no moments of sadness in it, like no one at a hospital, no one getting sick, no one grieving, the whole movie is about learning to love the good with the bad and then this montage just shows you kids being goofy and people at bowling alleys, like where is the fucking heart? And then it ends and we cut back to Margot Robbie very delicately saying, "yes"

And that was it

We move on to seeing Barbie in the human world with her human family and this big climacitic moment that should feel the way you feel when symbols crash in a classical song just fizzles

The last scene of the entire movie however I will say was a great way to cap a live action Barbie movie, Margot Robbie's giant grin as she says, "I'm here to see my

Gynecologist!"

Was good.

Okay the end I'm done thanks for reading 💕

[alectology-archive]

Something doesn't sit right with me about how now Mal is a man of color and now it doesn't appear that he's Alina's endgame love interest

I never really thought that nikolai and alina’s relationship was afforded in any sort of real romantic subtext in the show, though - I personally thought it cleaved more heavily on the platonic side with undeclared feeling on nikolai’s part (I’m aware that this isn’t the popular fandom interpretation and I disagree with everybody - the show isn’t exactly subtle. it’s very heavy handed and biased with its romances). I also do think we should be careful about our criticisms so it doesn’t enter the territory of paranoid interpretations - it would be easy to conclude that all the brown and black characters didn’t have very good writing this season but it’s… plainly evident that the writing as a whole kind of sucked this season and it didn’t really have any bias towards the white characters (why was tante heleen killed off-screen? because the writers chose shallow feminist overtures as their hill to die on and are afraid to pick women as their antagonists. why is jesper designated as the Funny Man in the crows? it’s just a shallow interpretation of his character).

I’m also probably? the wrong person to approach with this question? because I did end up thinking that mal and alina’s romance was very overdone this season and that her powers seemed to develop a sort of codependency with mal - she needed him to anchor her and act as a system of checks and balances very often, and I didn’t really enjoy it because I always like my romances to be very understated, subtextual or lingering on the threshold of mutual longing that’s never quite acted on. It’s also just not fun to see the lead heroine being quietly robbed of her agency for the sake of a romance (and I just think. it’s bad, heavy-handed writing again).

In the books, mal also isn’t particularly well-rounded and I do recognise that the way his storyline ended this season might’ve been a weak attempt at giving him more personality and also giving alina sufficient space to start down the path of her corruption arc (again, which wouldn’t really be possible if mal was around as her system of checks and balances). I would’ve preferred for him to try to explore his heritage and the morozova legacy more - the morozovas fall into wasted potential territory, and it would’ve also helped negate the dissatisfaction I had with mal stepping into a role that nikolai engineered for himself i.e. sturmhond is so intrinsically tied to nikolai’s identity that I do feel slightly uncomfortable with the show’s belief that mal stepping into another character’s role and shouldering his legacy is an interesting way to end his arc. it’s always more narratively satisfying when characters specifically confront and explore their own identities and the events that shaped them - for example, inej hunting slavers makes plenty of sense.

But that’s just bad writing all over again.

[thegeminisage]

IT IS. star trek update time. last night we did ds9's "the muse" and voy's "the thaw."

the muse (ds9):

the a-plot of this was so fucking stupid. WHY is it always jake and older women...can we please cut him a fucking break...

also, the mysticism around writing. "i can show you exercises and techniques" "you have so many ideas it all seems too big to you right now" come on. the only exercise and technique she needed to show him was how to fucking outline. it's not MAGIC you don't get divinely graced with the ability to write a book you just sit down and do one little bit at a time. i cannot believe writers wrote this. insufferable. they sound like george rr martin i hope he is having a bad day wherever he is

jake and sisko at the end were so cute though...sisko my beloved...

the b plot.............................................

here's the thing. while i have reversed my stance on lwaxana troi, who got much better in her final few episodes (was this the last one or do we have one more...?), i don't want odo/lwaxana to be better than odo/kira and the odo/lwaxana was REALLY GOOD. and ik some people really didn't like the way odo/kira wound up happening in canon so even though idk what happens yet NOBODY TELL ME i am bracing for it to be bad and to love it unconditionally anyway. so that was a huge struggle for me

odo in his little shapeshifter playground feeding off of lwaxana's giddiness...i wish deanna had been able to do the reverse-empath thing on tng, it would have been so much fun

ALSO i cant believe he finally got his first little smooch!!!! GOOD FOR HIM

the thaw (voy)

sigh. so apparently a lot of people really like this episode but i...hated it. one of the worst voy episodes to date actually

whatever this episode THINKS it's saying about fear is lost under the set dressing. and the set dressing IS really cool - i like the wacky practical effects and bright colors. it reminds me a lot of tos. in fact, this whole episode could have been a tos episode, but it would have been one of those tos episodes that makes the top 10 worst ranking or whatever

the problem is the Randumb XD Humor...it's like q, like the squire of gothos. it just doesn't hit for me and never will. like, the actors were good at what they did, the costumes looked great, the set was funky, even the background music really fucked, but things being Randumb XD is just too dated for me. i don't mind star trek being dated most of the time but this is where i draw the line. maybe i'd like it better if i gave it another shot, but i probably will not be doing that

i think janeway called it in, with her acting. like everyone's like damn she ACTED no girl she did a lot of dramatic whispering. and who can blame her. the script was all over the place

i just think if you're trying to terrify people you could do better than the circus theme. yeah, clowns bad, but even tng had that spooky morgue thing happening

also, lost opportunity: if this clown guy can kill people by scaring them to death ie making them live the experience of getting their heads chopped off virtually which gives them a heart attack in real life then why not write tuvok, local expert at conquering fear, into this episode? you could have cut off tuvok's head and he wouldn't have died of fright. it would have been perfect for the metaphor

the ending to this episode would have fucked a lot more if the rest of it hadn't sucked so bad. janeway's murder walk was REALLY good. it's also something kirk would have done, if they'd had the holodeck in tos, and thank GOD they didn't

but yeah, the solution of fear needing conquering and wanting to be conquered just doesn't hit when most of the script...didn't really talk about fear, it was just wilding out

TONIGHT: ds9's "for the cause" and voy's "tuvix"...okay, wait, i'm just now looking at these episode titles. everyone on reddit is always so mad about janeway killing a guy named tuvix but i thought i got it mixed up with tuvOK. like i literally thought she killed tuvok and everybody was like dw about it she doesn't kill tuvok so who tf is tuvix...is this a clone thing or something? like black shirt green shirt tuvok?? please let it be a clone thing

[fagcrisis]

ok heres my objective ranking of all xmen movies except the ones that arent on this list

xmen and x2: icant separate them sorry. charming practical effects kind of bad but campy writing what happens to a toad when its struck by lighting i love you forever. mystique and magneto peak gay besties raven looks her best in these ones turn the senator most vocally targeting your minority group into horrible goo, first appearance of magneto bottom storage. really fun movies that arent that great in some parts but theyre absolutely entertaining as hell to watch and i love practical effects have i mentioned the practical effects

xmen last stand: she ranks lower for the one simple reason that MAGNETO WOULDNT BETRAY RAVEN IF SHE LOST HER POWERS THATS NOT MY GAY GRANDPA!! also scott my friend scott dies

days of future past: this movie makes sense To the evolved mind. it also has literally everything. james mcavoy looking hot. ian mckellen magneto for one last time being cunty as Hell. we r now getting into the category of movies that are objectively not a good movie experience if you dont like the xmen but this one is fun and i like it. erik literally drops a stadium on the president

first class: JUSTICE FOR DARWIN also i just really hate moira sorry women. theres just a lot of things in this movie that annoy me and they are not saved by cherik meetcute!! and also this was the movie that erik was the absolutely most correct in like hes never even crossed charles's centrist ass lines that he sets he only wants to kill a nazi really badly!! hes always right all of the time but this time hes extra super right.

dark phoenix: BAD movie. Dogshit movie. it cant rank lowest bc cherik cottagecore ending

apocalypse: this movie sucks so bad they made my boy BALD. incredibly racist. absolutely no one can act michael fassbender forgot how to just for this movie specifically and james mcavoy is doing his ALL for this Shit movie. moira is there cannot stress enough how racist it is

honorary mention: deadpool 2 (first one wasnt that good)

dishonorary mention: all 15 thousand wolverine movies