Please, cuddling, and TimKon?
. . . I am sorry but also I am NOT sorry for what I have done with this reply, but hey, why don't we all enjoy this one being the only prompt fill from this meme that got a read-more cut??
“Please,” Kon tries, trying not to look–he doesn’t know, weird and needy and like an embarrassment, or whatever. It feels like such a stupid thing to ask for. He knows Tim’s not really a hugger or a touchy-feely guy or whatever and that he likes having his own space and basically always hops out of bed right after sex to go write down all the shit his post-nut clarity made him think of, and the idea of, like, just staying still and actually cuddling or whatever is probably basically literal torture to him, assuming it’s ever even occurred to him at all, just . . .
Just he’d kind of like to sometimes, maybe? Like–not regularly or whatever, he’s not trying to drive Tim nuts or cut into either his worktime or downtime here, just . . .
Just he’d like to do it sometimes, that’s all.
Tim’s not the tactile type. Tim isn’t even the eye contact type, unless he’s lying to somebody or at work or just faking it for Robin-mode or whatever. Kon gets that. He’s been, like–careful about that. Not trying to take up too much space or ask for too much attention or mind when Tim doesn’t even look up at him when he–
He’s been careful about it.
But he is . . . well. The tactile type. Like . . . kind of, anyway.
Like–it’s kinda unavoidable, honestly.
“Oh,” Tim says, blinking at him in just enough bemusement to make him feel even more self-conscious about bringing this shit up to begin with, and Kon tries to keep his expression casual and noncommittal and–and just normal about this. Because he is totally normal about this. He is so normal about this. He is.
He’s also normal about the fact that when he asked Tim if he could talk to him about something, Tim didn’t even put down his tablet. Didn’t even put it to sleep, or actually even look up from it until . . .
Kon’s normal about that. About all of this.
(and he definitely never feels kind of weird or a little bit abandoned because Tim can’t EVER just bring his stupid laptop back to bed or at least work on whatever he’s thinking about IN the bedroom at the untouched desk he's got set up in there or even just, like . . . stick around and hang out on the couch with him, or anything like that. he definitely totally ENTIRELY doesn’t ever just feel like a casual fuckbuddy or an easy hookup or a gala-night accessory or just the most immediately convenient option and not actually–not actually any kind of a–not actually something that–
he doesn’t.
definitely.)
“Uh,” Kon says, and backpedals awkwardly, because clearly this conversation is not going the way he’d wanted it to and Tim just looks so surprised by it all, like–like it never even occurred to him or something, that maybe . . . that maybe Kon would want anything like that, or like he literally just hasn’t noticed how hard Kon’s been trying to be normal about it, or . . .
It doesn’t feel very good, the idea he’s been trying so hard to respect Tim’s space and preferences and comfort levels and Tim hasn’t even noticed that he was doing anything at all.
Especially because Tim usually notices just about everything.
Maybe Tim’s just never thinking about it. Maybe he gets out of bed so quick because he’s spent the whole time in it thinking about other shit and just putting up with–just–
“Kon,” Tim says, his voice going a little tight, and Kon just tries not to wince. He didn’t mention any of the complicated stuff he’s been trying not to feel, he just asked if Tim could–if Tim would–
He didn’t even mention any of the complicated stuff, so it’s, like–not a great sign that Tim’s looking at him like that right now, like he’s said something really serious or upsetting or . . .
He really shouldn’t have said anything, yeah.
“Sorry,” he tries stiffly, glancing away and wrapping his hand around his own wrist and digging his fingers into the inside of it. It’s–tactile. Just . . . something tactile. “I know you don’t–sorry. Uh. Just forget it.”
“Fuck,” Tim mutters for some reason, and Kon feels like such an idiot for saying anything at all, and a worse one for apparently doing it in a way that’s got Tim making that face at him. That face is Robin’s “my utility belt is empty, comms are fried, and the mission just went to shit” face.
He really fucked this up. It was fine. Everything was fine, and now he’s wrecked it and Tim’s about to say it’s not even that serious, it’s not like it’s even–not like they’re even–and that Kon’s clearly gotten the wrong idea and they should just–just–
“How long have you felt this way?” Tim asks very, very carefully, like the question’s something fragile, and Kon thinks from literally the first fucking time you left me alone in bed all night so you could go recalibrate some stupid useless specialty sensor that wasn’t even part of your primary gear, like, a WEEK into us sleeping together and says, “I dunno. It’s not–I told you. Forget it. It’s not a big deal.”
He’s being weird about this. He’s being an asshole about this, actually, because being prepared for literally every single possible contingency ever is the Bats’ whole thing and he got into this knowing Tim wasn’t the touchy-feely type or all that expressive and emotive about–about his feelings, or whatever, and–and it’s not like he even–not like he–
(he just wants a fucking HUG he didn't have to FUCK him for every now and then, or for Tim to at least exist in the same space as him for longer than the time it takes for the next email from Oracle to come in or next alert from Batman to go off or next self-assigned project to finish processing or–
but that’s not something Tim does, and Kon knew that going in, so–so it’s his own stupid fault if he feels SMALL sometimes, when . . . when there’s always something else, always another problem to solve or place to be or thing to think about, always . . . always something more important than just . . . staying, just for a little bit, and just BEING with–with him. just him. not the team, or either of their families, or . . .)
He knew all this going in, Kon reminds himself. He knew it. If he were this bad at being with literally anyone else, he’d just–he’d just–
But something about it being Tim means he just . . . can’t.
Tim’s jaw tightens, and he finally sets down his stupid tablet.
Only now, though, Kon thinks bitterly, and digs his fingers a little deeper into the inside of his wrist.
“Kon,” Tim says again, says too carefully again. Like something’s fragile, again. “I–”
“I said forget it, for fuck’s sake!” Kon snaps too hotly, and maybe hates himself for both doing it and for the stricken look that doing it puts on Tim’s face, and also maybe cheats a bit by super-speeding straight out the balcony door into the night air and not taking his cell or his communicator with him. Or–definitely does, in fact. Definitely that’s cheating. He knows it is.
He just really can’t stand to hear Tim tell him how he’s fucked up this time right now, though. He just–he tried so fucking hard not to fuck up this time.
He really, really tried.
He should’ve known it wouldn’t work, but . . . but he really did try.
162 notes
·
View notes
I am liking Jujutsu Kaisen, way more than I imagined I would, but I foresee it will let me down and it's keeping me from enjoying this as much as I could haha
I think the characters and dynamics are well set, and I think many of them have an incredibly good and deep potential, but I would be willing to bet they'll not get a proper development, enough for them to really hit. A well assembled set of gears is not enough to make the movement go, you have to wind the clockwork.
I think Gojo and Megumi have a fascinating and very complex dynamic, but I doubt it will be given the time and care that imo it needs to actually work. And it is going well enough for now! One could see the intimacy between them was deeper than the one Gojo had with, say, Yuji and Nobara ever since the very first few episodes despite the fact Fushiguro too was a first year. But the pieces forming what they have are extremely complex, and it just wouldn't be realistic if it doesn't show, even if in a not showing way, or if it doesn't have consequences or implications.
It's one of those dynamics that shape one's life, the way one regards the world, the way one establishes or not relationships with other people. It's one of those dynamics that could be full of fondness, gratitude, resentment, admiration, trust, and that imply intimacy, the good kind or the bad, even if in just the knowledge of someone who's been a constant through your life. It could, and would, imply a myriad of feelings, and probably in such a mix it could imply contradictory feelings too. Even the nothingness would weight, even the nothingness would be significant and meaningful.
Gojo took Megumi and his sister under his wing, the son of a man who murdered him, because of both selfish and selfless reasons. Megumi looks like Toji. What does Gojo feel about this? How does Gojo deal with this? How does Gojo go about taking care of Megumi? Would he walk him to school? Make him breakfast? Celebrate his birthdays making him blow candles? Did he take him to the zoo? Does the relationship between them feel professional or is it something more? Gojo appreciates his students, but is Megumi to him just another student? When Gojo faces Sukuna in Megumi's body, did he see the kid he raised, or does he just see Sukuna in one of his students' body? Did he have one faint wavering instant? And how does Megumi feel about this? Is he resentful of him? Resentful of the situation? Of the selfishness behind his actions? Does he feel like a pawn? Is he grateful? Does he resent feeling grateful? Would he rather not? Does he love Gojo? Does he feel nothing about him other than what he could feel about a teacher that sort of annoys him but knows he's reliable in his strength? Does he think it unfair, cruel or unfeeling that Gojo is close, closer perhaps, with Yuuji or Yuta, considering their story? When Sukuna slices Gojo in two, does the remnants of Megumi's soul tremble?
And not just Megumi and Gojo. Yuuji and Nanami, Gojo and Nanami, Yuuji and Fushiguro, Nobara and the boys, or Nobara and Maki, Todo and Yuuji or Yuta, Gojo and Yuta, Megumi and his sister. Gojo and Geto, even! If the pieces are well set, the dynamics are intriguing, interesting, and have potential to be deep, but then the characters have like two plot relevant scenes that punch you hard, but little more, it's not nearly enough. Especially not nearly enough for the enormity that is shonen dynamics and situations. And the potential existing at all, and then not delivering, makes it all the more frustrating when you're left with something mediocre that could have been so good.
The development of dynamics through not only a few plot relevant gut wrenching moving scenes, but also the smallness of life, is important. The friend who recommended this to me said that those things were just unnecessary filler, but I disagree. I think there's a big difference between a large amount of anime-only filler episodes whose existence is based on the fact they had run out of manga chapters to animate, and moments of quietness. The low stakes character-driven moments of quietness can be so telling and so insightful, and they are so satisfactory when brought back later in higher stakes situations. My friend teased me there was no scene of Gojo making breakfast to Megumi, that it would be an idiotic idea, but it would be so telling. How he makes breakfast, what they eat, if he tries hard or if it's all mechanised, if they have personal bowls or if they use whatever, if he just buys them some pastry on the way to school, if the way they have breakfast changes through the years, or if he doesn't make them breakfast at all! All that would be very insightful on their dynamic and its evolution. All that would give a glimpse on how they regard each other and why, even in the present. All that could become meaningful in tense situations and high stakes scenes.
These moments also let the plot breath; if a lot is happening all the time, if every character is always experiencing trauma after trauma, the entire story is so emotionally draining that at some point you don't even care all that much. Besides, these nothing moments or low stakes plot arcs, besides deepening and developing dynamics, also let some in-world time pass, which would make the intimacy and bond between characters more believable imo; between Yuuji eating Sukuna's finger and their last confrontation in December how much time has passed? A few months? Am I truly to believe these characters are so everything to each other in only a few months?
Without some smallness, some repetition, some daily life, some low stakes not plot-centric development, the dynamics don't hit, they don't truly feel fleshed out, and dynamics as complex as the ones Megumi and Gojo have, or as supposedly meaningful as the one Megumi has with Yuuji or his sister, should be fleshed out if they're going to exist at all. Otherwise they'd risk making the writing feel awkward and fake. Besides, if the dynamics felt well fleshed out and realistic, they would shape the way the characters interact and act, and how they deal with situations, thus being plot relevant.
The shonen genre has so much happening all the time, the stakes are so high, the dynamics are so rooted in big events and the relationships carry enormous weight and implications. Yet they barely get developed, and it feels so stupid, so plain, the absence of something so important noticeable like a constant void, a shapeless nothingness present in every scene. It makes the characters feel like cardboard figures. Jujutsu Kaisen is already getting a better job than many, but I doubt it will do enough for what I've heard, and I fear I am bound to feel let down, and bound to feel unmoved.
After all, if not enough time and care has been given to develop a dynamic, I am not going to feel pressured by the high stakes; if not enough time and care has been given to develop the dynamic between Megumi and Yuuji, as good potential as it has I am bound to feel little for this last confrontation between Sukuna and Itadori, and his effort in getting Megumi back.
10 notes
·
View notes
Since we're on the topic what is your favourite kind of romance heroine? It doesn't have to be one specific type just what kind do you gravitate towards.
Hmmm I mean, I love a lot of romance heroines, but I've noticed that I tend to enjoy heroines who've experienced life most of all or are very determined to experience it. This doesn't have to mean a widow in historicals, or even necessarily one who isn't a virgin (though I do prefer a non-virgin heroine over a virgin--and it truly doesn't matter lol, I'll read either very happily, it's just that like... if I HAD to choose I'd pick a heroine who wasn't a virgin, and the hopeful? series I'm trying to write does not feature any virgin heroines, which wasn't planned and sort of just happened). I just like a heroine who's at least somewhat jaded, who knows how the world works. Someone who is closed off.
I do love an ice queen. The lady of the manor, as it were. I also really love an unrepentantly sexual and hedonistic heroine--like, I ADORE this type, virgin or not. Someone who's all "well what happens if I do tHIS?" and very happily teases her partner. I think both the ice queen who's seen too much of the world and is tired of this shit and the very sexual heroine (whether she's done it before or adjusts to it like a duck to water lol) are preferable to me than like... The true babe in the woods innocent who's like "whaaaaat" at every single sexual thing that happens. Like, as an example of how you can handle this with virgin heroines--Evie in Devil in Winter is a virgin, but she's very naturally sexual and doesn't have an issue with adjusting to St. Vincent's appetites and is soooo into sex that she's the one who "makes" him lose the bet. And she's so practical about it. She finds out they need to fuck to make it legit and goes "yeah that sounds about right". She's not all shocked or whatever.
I love very feminine heroines, and will usually gravitate towards heroine that give "divine feminine" vibes over tomboy vibes. BUT THAT BEING SAID. I can get behind most heroines. Very rarely will I turn down a book just because the heroine doesn't seem like my type. I tend to love heroines that people hate. The only things I really can't do with heroines is:
--constant insecurity
--constantly mentioning how plain or ugly she is like shut the fuck up Mr. 6'5" stunnah with a 9 inch cock is railing you at every minute, I don't buy it, this feels like such pandering and I frankly don't want or need it
--subset: heroines who are fat and are always like "I know that because of my ample body he probably doesn't like me" oh my god this romance hero is clearly one of those guys who likes to see it jiggle get ooooover it (I say this as someone with insecurities about my weight--I just can't get behind heroines who agonize over it every other page, she can have body image issues without it being 20% of the novel)
--heroines who fuck the hero over but it's fine because she's the heroine and he's the hero and we never confront these actions ever (ex: I just a read a book I was really loving with an NFL player hero who was a virgin, and the heroine deflowered him, they fell in love, and this Ashley Madison type site put out a $1 million reward for a woman who could prove she took his virginity; someone steals hero's phone and leaks nudes of the heroine she sent him, and it's hORRIBLE and she's understandably traumatized and depressed, but she claims her power by TELLING THE PRESS SHE TOOK HIS V CARD without TELLING HIM IN ADVANCE so she can donate the money to charity???? And when he's understandably mad it's treated as this overreaction on his part??? And dude I am sorry but how the fuck is very intimate info about his sex life being shared without his permission okay???? Anyway sorry that shit blew my mind.). I find that condescending.
Heroines I love that I think sum up a lot of this:
--Greer Galloway/Colchester/Galloway Colchester Moore or whatever the fuck from New Camelot by Sierra Simone. Greer is so self-possessed and cool and smart, but she's also like, this hedonistic wild woman who is fully willing to "why not both?" her marriage. Lol some of the best parts of the sex scenes in those books are Greer in the background like "GIVE HIM THE DICK!!!!!"
--Neomi Laress, Dark Needs at Night's Edge by Kresley Cole. A total temptress(ssss) who flirts first and asks questions later, but is also out for her own (understandable) game and accidentally falls in love with a deeply damaged Conrad Wroth and is like "he is baby". Both tough and jaded and deeply nurturing once her heart opens up.
--Ellie Peirce, Lothaire by Kresley Cole. I love Ellie so fucking much. (And she's a virgin heroine, so again, I love all!) She's tough as nails (her epigraph is literally "steel magnolia? TRY TITANIUM") but has the vulnerability to like, cry and break down when shit gets really hard. She refuses to be disrespected. She's very in touch with her own sexuality and uses it to get what she wants. I love a heroine who approaches a hero that is basically the equivalent to a massive toothy snarling monster and like, solemnly buckles a diamond collar that says "BRAT" or something around his neck, and then he's just her bitch from there on out.
--Eleanor Ramsay, The Duke's Perfect Wife by Jennifer Ashley. A new favorite! I love her your honor! Very fun and nice and perky and confident, but has been around the block and isn't super quick to trust Hart this time around. (Even if they did have sex THRICE like a decade ago, as he constantly reminds her.) She had the dignity to expect better from him and dumped his ass without crying (in front of him). She also, unfortunately, can't resist that dick. And wants to take Victorian photographs of it. The dichotomy of woman. But again, this heroine who just blinks at the hero unimpressed and goes "down boy" is really My Shit.
--Sara Fielding, Dreaming of You by Lisa Kleypas. Sara really encapsulates a specific subset of heroine that I love, and I think this is probably my favorite type of virgin heroine, which is "local woman cartwheels headlong into mortal peril at any given moment while very growly man shrieks in terror and runs after her like she's a priceless vase that just fell off his mantle". Sara is nosy, she's not afraid to learn, she is naive at points but in a very "my b" kind of way, she super doesn't care about cheating on her wet blanket fiance when Derek Craven is on the menu, and she does dumb shit like go "Should I get bangs?" (Derek: I WILL KILL MYSELF IF YOU GET BANGS.)
8 notes
·
View notes