#i loved too many spirits though because it was genuinely fun and had the core of what made unsolved stuff good

[fricc-darn]

More dating B.E.N hcs but sprinkle in some love

(some BEN angst if you squint n slight warning for toxic relationships)

When it comes to BEN and affection it's a tricky situation. It only cares about other moon children in the network. For other people, the concept of love is not on their mind. Due to that, it's not often you'll experience loving moments with them.

Their love is rare and will take time to form as this is reserved for a specific kind of person. Someone who it enjoys the presence of. A person who's a pleasure to mess with but isn't too easy. Someone who keeps things interesting. The perfect toy? In a sense yes! This type of love is genuine. It's truly a weird scenario because BEN continues to be a menace while attempting to be sweet.

Of course, these acts should be appreciated to some degree. At least attempts are being made. Despite how flawed these acts are, it's treatment others don't see. You should feel lucky that you're an exception. The last thing BEN wants is for you to end up dead. Though if you have gotten this far, you'd certainly know to appreciate these moments.

BEN's words of affirmation are just as concise and vague as their regular speech. When it compliments you at worst it's backhanded. At best they come off as someone talking to a beloved pet. Occasionally, it'll complement you in an odd amount of detail. Pointing out quirks that you don't even notice.

Now, if they really like you they have a tendency to info dump. Though they try to keep it at a minimum. They wouldn't want you getting too curious and becoming nosey.

For the most part; simple phrases like "I love you." or "Cute." work fine. It'll take time for you to figure out whether or not BEN is being genuine. Even when you get the hang of it, there's still a nagging uncertainty present. This process would be much easier if they weren't so deceitful. The first time BEN loosely said the words 'I love you' it was out of the blue during a flurry of obsessive messages and threats. They refused to elaborate until much later and took whatever response you had as a yes.

At first, it only communicates with you online or through poltergeist-like activities. They'll even appear in your dreams as individual moon children. These dreams are surprisingly pleasant in comparison to the nightmares. With a substantial amount of trust, you learn more about the spirits as individuals.

Hearing the bits and pieces of what they remember about their past really makes sense of their behavior. Just don't even think about pitying them. Even if its well meaning, the outcome won't be in your favor.

None of them can stand being vulnerable. Especially if they don't have the means to take over the situation. In those almost unthinkable scenarios, it would trigger them into emotional distress. Which isn't something you'd expect from BEN of all people. To avoid that, they lead you to the information with breadcrumbs.

When BEN decides to appear physically, things really get fun!

They aren't too fond of physical affection. You can ask, but it will often result in a no. They have to be the ones to initiate it. There are plenty of reasons but it's mainly for the comfort of each moon child. You'll quickly learn who hates being touched, who doesn't mind, or who enjoys it.

Dealing with BEN is like dealing with a cat with an awful attitude. A spiteful shithead to its core. When they're not toying with your stuff, they'll come up to you whenever they feel like to bother you. From hugging, breathing down your neck, or maybe even biting you. The ladder isn't always ideal since BEN has way too many teeth. When this happens, it doesn't have much of a care for what you're doing or if you want to be bothered. BEN has some major cuteness aggression towards you. They play rough and oddly enough they're pretty strong.

Hugs and hand holding are the most common form of affection you'll get. When you're asleep they might even decide to cuddle with you. Be warned, BEN will take up most of the bed for no good reason. You also have to be prepared for potentially getting scared half to death in the middle of the night. Besides the distorted whispers, it's uncanny generated face will stare at you while you sleep. When you sleep with them it doesn't feel like a person is sleeping next to you. It's more like a general presence. BEN's skin is cold more often than not. Its skin seems to get warm off of your body heat or if there's something going on inside of its head. At least they're soft and squishy.

Can BEN kiss? Sorta. Its kisses are chaste and usually on the cheek. They're a prude, and a super hypocritical one at that. If they happen to kiss you on the lips it's essentially like kissing a mannequin with synthetic skin. It's cold and awkward. They're artificial in almost every sense of the word. Its mouth is the texture of gooey silicone with a long tongue and plenty of teeth. Kissing it is an experience that only you get to have. BEN really tries to be a good kisser but it just doesn't work out. It may be a questionable kisser but it's not sloppy. For that has no appeal, BEN prefers kisses to be simple and clean.

[isabellehemlock]

sun, moon, 4H ☀️🍀🌙

Hi Hayls! 🥰 Thank you for the ask and brace yourself for long answers under the break lol:

Sun: five things you like about yourself

Oh, uh, well hopefully I do not come across as braggy but um some things I like about myself are:

Mentally I'm often a playful spirit but emotionally, I'm an old crone lol.  I'm basically JVN vibes but Karamo levels of "let's talk feelings and figure out how to help each other feel seen and loved."  But also, "here are catboi memes."

^^ me, at my husband lol, but also . . .

That I'm genuine.  I really do mean well.  I really do want to encourage people and see them blossom.  Now, of course I'm only human, I fail, and sure some people take advantage of this - but that's more on them then me, and I'm going to try to be a source of warmth and joy wherever I can be.

That I'm willing to put in the work to always keep in mind that this is a journey.  That I do not, nor will I ever, have all the answers - that even though I am aware that I can never please everyone and offend no one all the time, I really will try to be open to hearing feedback, process and see what is meant for me to grow with, and hopefully move forward to be an inclusive presence in shared spaces.

That I'm secure in who I am as a person, the core points of myself.  I do not require the validation of those around me about these things to maintain them.  Nor, do I think what works for me, is for someone else.  But yeah, lol if I was solely here for like popularity points I wouldn't disclose my age, marital status/parenthood, nationalities, religious affiliation, sexual orientation, shipping/reading preferences, and/or make fandom content.  I don't share those things for any other reason outside of me being comfortable sharing them, and I genuinly enjoy hearing what brings others joy.  It's just one way to connect with others, nothing more, nothing less.

I take my responsibilities seriously (I hustle a lot yo - I never do anything half assed) but I don't take *myself* seriously.  I want to have fun where I can, while I can, because I got a lot of heavy things with chronic health issues, not only with myself but with other family members as well, so yeah, outside of meetings and doctors appointments and calls and errands . . . I just want to have fun and laughs 😎  And bond with people via lovely long convos about what makes them tick ❤️

Moon: do you suppress your feelings?

Lol allow me to share a Nicky meme for this one

not sure who to credit since I saved it forever ago but if someone knows don't hesitate to share and I'll be happy to edit with credit

I.E. so yeah, basically plenty.  Even when I share a lot about what's going on in my life, I actually am very hesitant to share how I'm *feeling* about the events.  Part of it's my Scorpio vibes, part of it is trauma 🙃

I've just had too many definitive statements made at me based on false assumptions or due to someone's toxic behavior (in either direction of "this is how you feel" to "no, that's not how you feel" without sigh, ever just aksing me "how are you feeling?"). Anyways because of that, I have to be reallllly close with someone, over time, to feel safe to share anything outside of "happy."

4H: which relatives are you closest with?

I think hands down my husband.  On the surface level we appear on opposite ends of the spectrum personality wise and all that - but we have the same moral compass, and agree on just about everything (what we want out of life, parenting, etc).  But most importantly we know we are safe to say "no" to one another in all areas, that there's room for discussion, that we can encourage each other along our individual journeys, all the while knowing we are a team.  I love him your honor.

[greysfall]

My 4444-word review of NEO TWEWY (with personal illustration + heavy spoilers)

My overall critical score for the game is 7.5/10, while my personal enjoyment score is 8.5/10. This review is posted as I have 80% completed the game, got the secret ending and achieved the Angel psychic rank. I’ll first start with the main pros and cons as follows.

PROS:

-        Enjoyable as a whole, still upholding the first game’s spirit in world building and sharing the same backbone - which was mostly revealed in the Secret Reports, it’s impossible to grasp the story without reading them.

-        The new cast and new game is charming in their own way

-        The old cast’s return is one of the biggest highlights for sure, it was fun and impactful. Everyone stays true to themselves and also had their own stories wrapped up nicely.

-        Boss designs are cool, new pins are fun to use and collect

-        The connection between the old and new cast is well written and executed, including but are not limited to the tension between the old and new protagonist, the weird but fun interaction between the 2 Composers, the new friendships revealed and formed

-        Sho being in the main cast is something so uniquely TWEWY and uniquely Sho

-        Still good music

-        Still many fun side quests, some of them really uphold the same quirky spirit of the old game and some are surprisingly touching

-        Many new nice stores and yummy looking foods to explore

-        The map is really easy to memorize for me, it’s fun to travel around the “current” Shibuya to see all the differences compared to the past

-        The social network is crazy and interesting to read through

-        Has an anti-frustration system to help 100% complete the game more easily and earn money faster, so post-game is relatively managable.

-        Overall, I really feel the efforts the team poured into making this as their passion project, not just during the development process but for all the last 14 years. They showed the vision of what they wanted to make, at the same time giving something to both the old as well as new fans.

CONS:

-        The biggest problem with the game is scenario writing. The story is so heavily back-loaded. The director himself thought it would be better to balance out the tension flow by adding more at the beginning but gave in to the scenario writer in the end, probably due to time pressure. This results in an underwhelming execution of characterization and lots of wasted potentials for the first half of the game.  

-        I struggle to view it as a stand-alone game, since the backstory and the old cast both play such an important role in the core of the game. If someone plays this game without having played the OG, they can only enjoy it on surface value at best.

-        The new cast is nice but most of them aren’t quite as intriguing as the old cast, maybe it’s cuz they’re all too nice deep down that they lack a little bit of an edge, of that batshit craziness that everyone in the OG used to have? I think some characters (Fret, Nagi) ended up weaker in terms of characterization because the writer is too afraid of making them unlikeable – which kind of backlashed cuz they only became likable in the most expectable way to cater for a specific group of fans. I would have wished for the other team leaders to be more crazy too, had they not suffered 30+ loops of the Game…

-        The CAMERAWORK IS HELL.

-        Gameplay does get tedious at certain points with all the time travels.

-        Shiba is so badly written as a villain, some Shinjuku characters should be given more screentime cutting into Shiba’s– like Hishima or Kaie or even, Hazuki (though his limited presence also solidified his importance).

-        Some of the main character designs, for example Beat’s hairstyle and his food reactions are hilariously bad. What’s the point of covering up most of his unique facial features?

-        Some of the minor/side characters’ design are too cool for them to have such a small role (eg: Ayano, Eiru). Ryoji did get much screentime but is nowhere as fun as Makoto was.

-        Overall the scope of this game is made a little too big for the team to handle as perfectly as the last game that was very compact, it felt somewhat rushed in development too so the missing pieces are clearly there in the final picture

The entry fee versus paying for it all in the end

An important difference between the Neo game and the original Shibuya game was that the Shibuya rule asked for an entry fee that is the Player’s most important asset, stated as a chance the Composer gives them to reexamine themselves. Meanwhile, the Shinjuku rule neither encourages nor allows personal growth and ultimately aims to erase as many Players as possible. It’s a pity we were never introduced to the full Shinjuku rulebook, as it seems like the system there focuses more on building up power and a grand government to compare with the individuality-driven system of Shibuya.

When you have to compare the new game and the original game (OG), this is an important factor to consider. Also, the OG has a serious storyline running through and through, locked with a different partner/GM creating unique atmosphere for each week and you don’t get to see your old partners again until the end. NEO’s team system does not allow such deep insight and communication between the Players. All of your teammates are always there throughout, the dynamic does change with each new addition but it is not as prominent as a partner change.

Another important factor is how the OG was built from scratch for a new platform as “something no one has ever seen before”, while Neo recycled a lot of old unused ideas from the previous development (check out this interview for more details). The development team for NEO lacks 2 key members and had a change of writer so the final product is not as strongly bound together as the last game.

The new cast is definitely inspired by today’s teenagers (from the view of creators), compared to the old cast they’re more sociable and always seem to take whatever works for them despite feeling unstable inside. They are all innocent and genuinely nice kids, avoiding to hurt each other to a degree that they end up keeping some sort of distance. They’re also unable to communicate at deeper levels, always stagnant at this half-baked stage of equilibrium without any motivation to get to the core of things. That is the cost of entering the game without an entry fee, without even dying or having a reason to be there/to fight seriously. These kids were stolen from the RG into a Game that was decidedly the worst environment for them to change or develop, just wandering around cluelessly to find a way “out” until tragedies started to unfold one by one and they ended up being charged the total sum of the price for their actions – ultimately losing everything in the end.

That is, I believe, a story arc which can resonate more to the youth of today rather than of my generation. If the message of the old game was to “listen”, enjoy life to the fullest and accept to trust others, the message of the new game is to “speak up” from the inside, trying to understand yourself and take actions instead of just going with the flow and finally, to take responsibility for such actions.

If Neku was handpicked by the Composer for being the special one with an all-dense soul to ensure victory of the game then Rindo was just a normal kid chosen out of random by Kubo to be his back-up plan, who just happened to have a high enough imagination to awaken the incredible power from his pin. Rindo was then officially chosen by the Composer as Josh picked up and handed the pin to him again, this time not as Josh’s personal Proxy – but as the Proxy to represent the normal people of Shibuya and via whom he could gamble if humans can fight for their own fate.

The underworld heroine and the hero with little of his own

Shoka is for me a refreshing and layered heroine. She’s the kind of character that took at least 3 trials of creators to form as a complete individual – that included Nomura who gave her the base design and Reaper background, Gen who gave a more cunning touch and the writers who made her English dialogues more punchy. Dishonesty equals “tsundere” is such a cliché, so the English writers tried really hard to avoid that trope in my opinion, while still letting her good intention come through.

She serves as the character who is informed of everything the players should have known, and there was almost nothing she could do about it. Almost. Until she met Rindo.

They were drawn to each other by sharing a state of “not having anything of their own”. They both started out with not being able to truly know themselves, Shoka even hated her RG life but also managed to mature from that stage before Rindo. She must have vibed with Shiki’s love and passion in the Gatto Nero threads, initiating her connection with Shibuya and understanding herself more. With Shoka as Swallow, they were able to open up to each other and offer mental support… but was still not getting to the centre of their problems because for all this time, Shoka could not tell Rindo the most important things about herself.

How did Shoka feel when she met Rindo at the UG? She probably didn’t want to hope that he would live the day until she witnessed the Twisters’ potentials. From the very beginning, they were both incredibly conscious of each other and also constantly frustrated that the person they happened to “notice” was such a condescending bitch/a clueless loser. The Shinjuku Reapers are overall quite drunk in power and uncompassionate to Players, Shoka included. She is also a master of dissociation, which results in her constant boredom, tone swings, haughtiness and subconsciously distancing herself from the friend – the boy she cares about – from false hope, as she judged from facts that it was a hopeless situation where nothing could ever be. Maybe she is naturally a bit of a chameleon just like her name suggests (Shoka 紫陽花 = hydrangea, the color-changing flower), so putting on an act and always dissociating herself from what’s important was easy, while hiding her contradiction was impossible. It was the ex-Reaper Beat who broke it out to her, that she should decide whether she really cared and wanted to do something for a change. He knew how it felt like to cross that line, and knew she wanted to too.  

Shoka is endeared by many of the Shinjuku Reapers and has shown independent acts of kindness (the Shinjuku ghost), proving that her kind and truthful side is as real as her harsh and dishonest side – which makes her a nice mirror to the previous heroine Shiki, who also embraced a dichotomy of self-complex and self-love within her character. In the end, she was the first of the new cast to ultimately accept all that is important to her and independently made the decision to help save Shibuya despite all costs.

She was jealous at Rindo’s interaction with Tsugumi and Kanon but remained silent cuz she wasn’t at a place to have any say about it. She also didn’t reveal about Swallow because that would only add an awkward irrelevance to their current situation, as she was too ready to face erasure at the end of the Game. She only wished to “play a game” with him, be it FanGo or the Reapers’ Game. The tension that the team could only feel at the end, she’s felt it the entire time. The song “DIVIDE” is applicable to not just one bond in the game, but it always makes me think of theirs. There is always a “divide” between her and Rindo throughout the course of their journey, as the living and the dead, as a Player and Reaper, as someone who has a place to return to and someone who doesn’t, someone who knows little but wields too much power and someone who knows a lot despite not being able to do much.

“If only I had the chance to connect with you on the other side

But time goes on, and without us realizing it

The battle is getting heated

Time goes on, and without us realiazing it

Divided again”

To be honest, maybe I didn’t grow any affection for the new main cast from Rindo’s perspective but from Shoka’s. Since I started to sympathize with Shoka, I started to see the boy in a more “real” way. The real Rindo, behind his peaceful façade with others, would lash out on Shoka for her unfairly harsh attitude while none of the others cared. He could also subtly feel that mantle of unspoken secrets from her, her own contradictions, the unresolved chemistry between themselves – and not knowing what to do with it rather than to feel angry with all the unfairness he could not process. (As a Libra too, he’s triggered the most by unfairness!)

It is actually a positive development as he’s at least “reacting” to something strongly now rather than to keep evading his problems. During my replay, I clearly saw the difficult situation Shoka was in, her remaining harshness after the Motoi incident was due to her internal struggle with a mission to save her own life, versus a chance to really be with the team. Her decision was to do both at the risk of losing favour from both sides. Rindo started to accept her layer by layer, as the person who resonated the most to her contradicting nature from the start and knew that via learning her resolve, he has learnt his too.

Later into the game, she even got too much of his attention. Maybe even without knowing she’s Swallow, he’s familiar with her thinking direction and Swallow had always been closer to him than any other friend. It was only after she had to betray her important ones twice that she could start being truly honest. The scene when she died a 2nd time left a strong impression in me, the little reveal let Rindo know that he is also losing Swallow as he’s losing Shoka – and that only death could drive the last secret out of her. Her final “Later, loser” echoed through Rindo as it was the final truth, with only him remaining to hear it: they had actually, already lost everything.

Rindo was the boy who never dared to face all that matters to him until he lost it all, fighting an unfair battle in the faith that they would somehow still win. Shoka was the girl who always knew what was dear to her, but never dared to think she could be together with them ever after and still threw her all into a battle she knew was losing. I think they stir each other on naturally to fill out their gaps, similar to what the Shibuya game partner systerm would have aimed for. The end reward was a little divine intervention to help close up the divide between them once and for all.  

During the game there was not enough space to process anything personal so at the ending when they officially became “friends”, it was an important affirmation of their bond. Some people complained it was friendzoning but it’s not, they just have arrived at the perfect place to start something more. “From now on, we will truly be together” – I read it as that kind of message.  

The heroine from a lost battle, with her story taken away

After reading the secret reports and playing the game to be surprised of how small a role Tsugumi had in the main game despite being the “Hype-chan” thought to be a major character of the next TWEWY installment, many fans would feel sad at a missed opportunity to see the Shinjuku arc in full depiction.

It was shown clearly that, a Shinjuku arc was very carefully planned out and is a vital part of the whole story, yet it could not be made due to various circumstances behind the development scene. I would assume, that the team were not able to make a TWEWY game that ended on a despairing note, but it already happened in their mind, thus becoming a mental burden that forced them to break away from it and started the game anew with NEO. A significant part of NEO became the healing arc for the Shinjuku characters, especially for Tsugumi though I really wished more emphasis should have been placed on her rather than Shiba. We didn’t even get to see her brother – Shinjuku’s Conductor who had a vital role and instead was given the clueless Shiba, who had absolutely no idea what’s going on all the way until the last day in NEO. It’s as if Tsugumi has had her story stolen away from her, because her own battle ended with a saddening loss.

I think every time the game creators look at Tsugumi, they would feel that sadness too. Maybe to them, she is a bigger character than what is seen by the fans, as despite their failed effort to depict her story, she’s lived in their mind for all these years through periods of destruction, healing and rebuild.  Though it is a pity we could not get to experience the full scope of the Shinjuku story, the creators was clear about the place they wished for it to arrive at.    

Individuality, connection and the social network

The team system adapted from Shinjuku rulebook does not allow much room for personal development, as the team dynamic is closer to a work relationship forced to bear results, than a spiritual bond to max out all corners of understanding as found in the partnership system. The old Shibuya system allowed only 1 winner and 1 week limit per game, while the new rule declares for a 1 winning team and only the team at last place will be erased – the other teams will enter another loop. Furthermore, whichever team to challenge the unwinnable Ruinbringers will face the risk of ending up dead last followed by erasure. As a result, the longest-standing teams are most likely not the strongest ever recorded, but the ones who have figured out a strategy to simply survive until something changes, enjoying their newly found social constructs while they are at it. Basically, it is a system to hypnotise players into the illusion that they are still “living”.

Therefore, we as players would not get to the core of each Player individually as fast and directly as we did in the last game. The Twisters were able to stand out not because they’re powerful, they only started to have a real chance after growing enough to each form a meaningful and personal connection to another teammate. It did not come as a team, nor did it intiate from the existing friendship between Rindo and Fret. In fact, I did not find much solidity or anything truly note-worthy about the main team and new characters within themselves until they started clashing with other team members, Reapers and new recruits from week 2 onwards. Rindo found his personal development with Shoka (via a clash with Motoi and pretty much a mini dating sim between them), then via the confrontation of his role with Neku; Fret found his with Kanon then Nagi, the team learned about the real Neku via Beat, Neku entered the UG via Coco’s wish to save Tsugumi… it was not the team but their personal links that empowered them to fight and solve each of their problems.

The other team leaders may have failed because they did not form such personal links, after 30+ hopeless loops Fuya’s team all fell apart to pursue their own interest even at the cost of erasure, Motoi quit his KOL façade to work like a dog for the Reapers (probably to save just his own ass not his team), while Kanon dropped her tricks to find changes via honest cooperation in acceptance of a fair loss. The despairing note in that is huge without making much of a scene because their failure didn’t happen at their best effort to “win”, but in their last attempt to find a way “out”. Even Shiba got his way “out” in the end thanked to his personal friendship with Hishima and Tsugumi.

Something has shifted in the mindset of the game creators in the last 14 years, as both games are about “connection vs individuality” but the last game focuses more on connection between just individuals and this one on the overall network that is formed out of those individual connections.

The introduction of Beat into the main cast was truly the bridge between old and new, they helped each other out in several turns before officially recruiting him. Beat is a character whom a lot of fans including myself have felt somewhat concerned about after Neku disappeared from the RG, so when the new kids welcomed Beat with warm and organic interaction and Beat seemed happy, I started to feel like I wanted to help them out too! I think the overall team chemistry is enjoyable enough for new players, but I could warm up to the new kids more from the pov of a returning character – whom I’m glad to be Beat, as the older brother figure who is genuinely kind, fun, serious and upbeat at the same time; who is needed and needs the kids in return.

The social network is a fun and refreshing feature. You can read all of the crazy tidbits about Shibuya and the links each character have formed with the town people, it’s also fun to visualize how the characters act off screen. Characters’ profiles provide extra insight into their background too, like how it reveals Tsugumi has been friend with Coco during her time in the RG. During the game when not all characters have showed up, you can sometimes guess which empty spot will belong to whom. For example there is a 1 character linking to Neky that is not linked to anyone else, so I could guess that was Joshua, and that another character linking only to Joshua was probably Hazuki, hinting that the 2 Composers are related before either of them even showed up.

Hazuki only showed up for 5 minutes, but his presence is so vital and true to the game that I think he is the most memorable out of the new cast. The two Composers have such an intriguing bond, with their yin/yang or phoenix/dragon themes, opposite color design, the sempai/kouhai tone and the way they keep some sort of distance/work relationship as if it’s mandatory between Higher beings, yet at the same time they can talk so casually because they are truly equal – and different from one another. I have written a separate meta on them here.

Some people pointed out, that all Shinjuku characters’ names and themes are based off Hanafuda cards and the Phoenix in Hanafuda belongs to the Paulownia suit – which is Joshua’s name flower. This is so interesting because it feels like the creators somehow saw it as a sign to interweave the Shibuya and Shinjuku storylines together. Though it doesn’t come out much on the surface, it’s fascinating nonetheless considering both Josh and Haz had at some point interfered with the other town’s affairs.

“Shibuya tour with Haz” was such a special scene, as it happened between 2 characters who do not/no longer have a reason to care about Shibuya, on the subject of what is worth saving about Shibuya. Hazuki carried out the purification of Shinjuku and stepped in to restore Shibuya just as part of his job and unlike Hanekoma or Joshua who both possess profound understanding of humanity, he really didn’t know humans at all. Rindo’s irrational wish invoked in him a sense of curiosity, to try gambling on something irrationally and learning a bit of what his senior have experienced. With all the pieces put together, it provides an overview on Higher beings as a whole, and that Joshua and Hanekoma are really the odd ones out with Hazuki being somewhere in between them and the rest.        

The old friends

It’s easy to have returning characters overshadow the new cast as they have already matured out of their personal story arc and stayed in our hearts for all this time. In the end, I have managed to enjoy both the old and new cast separately and altogether, and they will both find their own place in our memory of this game for the long term.

Sho is truly as crazy as ever, the game wouldn’t be the same if Sho is any less of what he is. Sometimes it doesn’t feel like Neky or Beat is younger than Nagi at all, with moments when it seems like Neky has aged 14 years instead of 3 years. His friendship with Coco surprised me pleasantly, and their interaction together with Beat was fun to watch. Rhyme’s found a new dream and her friendship with Kaie is precious too, especially considering that she can still talk to him online after the game ended. Josh and Neku’s interaction suggested that they have resolved the past and are on equal terms now, they even parted ways in good spirit and I don’t feel any worry about them like I did before.

Neku and Shiki’s reunion scene was beautiful, theirs is such a special bond that it has grown and supported them even without being able to see each other. I am so happy to see them all again and that they stay true to who they are, albeit looking more grown up, cooler and happier than ever before.  

Overall, NEO can’t become a classic on par with the OG, but is definitely a good sequel and a good game in its own rights. I’m happy with whether or not there will be a 3rd game to complete the 3 monkeys theme, but if there will be – I hope the creators can really find the time to learn from the last 2 games and start over with a fresh mindset and strong core.  

[sunsetcurve]

so s2 of saved by the bell really was a serve from start to finish huh…like i binged the whole thing at like 4 am last night so i know there’s shit i’m forgetting but some highlights that i legitimately cannot get over (spoilers):

• i was honestly very skeptical when they first started talking about the pandemic, but they managed to build a lot of the major themes of the season around it without making it feel too contrived. like i loved how the whole thing was about like, coming back together as a community and rebuilding spirit and stuff, and the whole speech at the end about how there’s no such thing as wasted time resonated so much

• devante’s entire character arc this season was genuinely one of my favorite parts of the show. his relationship with nadia was so cute and they actually had such important conversations as a part of it particularly with the class and race issues…and then devante’s whole career thing with the fair and then turning down the music opportunity…god i loved the line about how people told him the only way he was getting out was with a microphone or a football and i just love how much of his character is knowing who he is despite everyone trying to tell him who to be and the fact that he just never lets go of that!! best character energy!!!! also his growing love for bayside…seeing him so happy this season…the continuation of his amazing friendship with lexi….chef’s kiss!!!!

• BI AISHA BI AISHA BI AISHA!!!!! i’m so so happy this was a plot point this season and also approached so well, also i was SO happy seeing ariela barer as chloe because they are amazing in everything and chloe was suchhh a fun character. i was honestly disappointed last season when aisha didn’t get with jamie but i really liked the way they concluded things there (though i would really love more aisha/jamie friendship) and honestly it was so fun seeing aisha come in to who she is. also the whole arc of her absolutely decimating the racist asshole spanish teacher…that’s my fucking baby!!!!! i love her!!!!

• speaking of jamie he and lexi were so cute this season. like, the fact that they were able to grow so much both individually and as a couple was honestly impressive and they just complemented each other so well. i really like how they made it clear that things didn’t just happen and weren’t always natural, but both of them worked to make their relationship better and also be better people and i just…i love them okay

• also. the humor this season?? literally top tier. i genuinely laughed out loud multiple times, and i love that sbtb can include pop culture references that actually seem natural and funny. also i think one of my favorite lines in the entire season was “did you hear that the bakery’s having a sale today?” “no, on what?” “on HOT CROSS BUNS” *blows terribly into the recorder* i am still laughing over this

• i also just am never able to get over how the show like…really seamlessly integrates conversations about issues that feel really forced and unnatural in other sitcoms and shows like this. like somehow it manages to tackle so many convos across the board and not pull any of its punches while still keeping the heart of it and making people redeemable and being hilarious i love it so much

• mac morris…ugh still one of the funniest characters alive, still delivering every second, and the GROWTH!! the way he’s consistently shown to be so smart and so capable when he puts his mind to things…the way a core theme of his character is how he really just needs someone to believe in him and trust him enough to give him a chance (AND IT WAS DAISY!!)…the way this season addressed the fact that he feels like he constantly has these expectations to live by but he’s genuinely trying to be a better person and work at being more empathetic and less selfish…the way he’s come so far since s1………ugh 😫. i’m so proud.

• speaking of proud my daughter my heart the light of my life daisy did so much this season i am so proud of herself. absolutely love love love how a big part of the season was how like…she didn’t want to do the spirit competition at first because there were bigger issues but then she realized how important it was to the student body and how that fits into the big theme of her character of like…getting caught up in the big picture when focusing on her friends and the people she loves is what she really needs…i love that she got that this season…god i hated seeing her hurt but the way she came back from it and the heart that she put into it was so wonderful…my girl just spent the whole damn season showing up everyone around her i love her so damn much

• and maisy stans…maisy stans we ATE!!! we ATE this season!!!!!!!!!!! i had a feeling they’d start slowburning maisy but i did not expect real life confirmation that mac is head over heels in love with her…i did not expect “only for you” and him saying she changed him and him just wanting to spend time with her and her telling him she was impressed and smiling at him like That™️ and “i only date guys who win the spirit competition” MAISY STANS HOW ARE WE FEELING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i was screaming from beginning to end let’s be real i was expecting hints but i was not expecting to be FED LIKE THIS!!!!!!! we truly won this season i am thriving my skin is clear my crops are watered maisy is soon to be canon life is so fucking good

anyway i went into this season thinking it would be decent i did not think it would blow my expectations out of the water i did not think it would serve so hard but i am so so thrilled by everything that happened i love this show so damn much anyway s3 where you at 😩🙏🏾

[b0rista]

— 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐈𝐄 𝐒𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑.

WARNINGS: light angst & swearing.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: he's one of my ultimate favorite snk characters, and i needed to cleanse my page of the heavy ass warrior content djjfjf.

"you're either a blessing, or you're a lesson. either or, you and i met for a reason."

with all of the gore and the misfortune that comes with your livelihood, it's connie that gets you through it.

as expected, you first fell in love with him for his humor. not for the humor itself, but for how it shed the smallest flicker of joy upon a heaping tower of despair— as soldiers, you needed that. fortunately, he was the one that brought it to the table. even during your days as cadets, connie lived to make you laugh. hearing a chuckle flutter from your core served as a form of therapy for him, and with time, he grew addicted.

with that being said, he does the stupidest shit in order to get your attention. even when you're together, he'll do what needs to be done. for example, one time, he tried to impress you by doing a trick while saddled up on his horse. in an attempt to twirl like a jackass ballerina, the horse decided that it deserved better, and kicked him clean off its back. at the sight of his 5'2 ass being hoisted eight feet into the air, you nearly choked.

prepare yourself, he's a cuddler. after a particularly hard day's worth of work, connie finds solace in bedding up with you, knowing that you're safe, and with him. he asks that you don't tell anybody, but he actually really enjoys cuddling as the little spoon. to have his head pressed against your chest, his ear to your heartbeat, brings him comfort. of course, he'll never detest to being your big spoon, either. he absolutely loves the feeling of you buried within his touch.

^ if you ever want to go an evening without cuddling, he'll be immediately offended. never, ever, ever will the two of you fall asleep back to back. he simply won't have it, it makes him feel as if something's wrong. and if that is the case, nobody's falling asleep until you've talked about it and successfully sorted it out.

at the beginning of your guys' relationship, everyone worried for you. did he coerce you, y/n? are you being forced? has he threatened you, has he threatened your family? nobody could grasp the fact that connie motherfuckin' springer had managed to pull you.

if there's any sort of sour talk regarding you, no matter how little it is, this man will leap to your defense. one time, jean called your bedhead ugly, and connie propelled a moldy roll of bread into his forehead. in the end, a massive food fight erupted, and you were just standing there with your bedhead like 🧍‍♀️

HOWEVER, there was an instance that actually led to a genuine, real fight between you two as a couple. you'd managed to scuff up your leg during the battle with kenny the ripper and his associates, and when it came down to who was and who wasn't going to tag along for the eren & historia rescue mission, connie belittled you to the team behind your back. not because he actually felt that way, but because he'd do anything to maintain your safety— even if it meant hurting your feelings. telling captain levi that your abilities were inadequate for that particular mission hurt him, but he did what he felt was necessary.

in the end, though, levi saw through the charade. to connie's dismay, you came with to save eren and historia. and during the entire journey, you didn't even utter a word to him. of course, though, during the battle, you put your frustrations aside. once you saw your lover's head nearly get kicked in during combat, you understood his intentions, and you forgave him. as expected, he replied to your forgiveness with humor,, his go-to coping mechanism.

"considering how sexy i looked on the battlefield, i knew you wouldn't be able to resist."

whenever his hair starts to grow out, you're the one that gets to cut it back down! he's able to do it himself, but he really likes it when you do it. you're typically propped up in his lap, sitting face to face as you file down his edges. he always loops his arms around your waist, intently staring you in the face— seeing you so concentrated on his hair, he can't help it.

you wouldn't expect this from connie whatsoever, but he likes it when you read to him. pick a literature of your choice and let him kick back and rest his head onto your lap, pleasE. he'll close his eyes, and for the first time in forever, stay still. the only time he and books ever coexist is when you're reading one to him. he'll also make fun of you whenever you stumble over a sentence,, so get ready.

the day you realize that this motherfucker is nearing six feet tall, you're ready for the holy spirit to whisk you away. literally, you measure his height on the weekly once you realize he just keeps gaining inches. that, and when he starts growing more into his face? lawd, take you now.

"connie, you're getting seXY-"

"what the hell does thaT mE A N-"

many, many proposals. none are meant to be taken seriously, which the both of you know. still, there are far too many proposals between the two of you. one time, you killed a fly midair, and he thought you were the baddest bitch on the block.

"marry me."

another time, he swooped you into the air with his maneuvering gear, and as you held onto him for dear life, you looked him dead in the face: "marry me, you baldheaded bastard."

it can be a reel, how many times the two of you say that bullshit. somehow, it's cute.

he doesn't really take basic boundaries into consideration. like, one time, you caught him using your toothbrush because he couldn't find his. it wasn't fun, you had to give him a serious talking to.

he is, without a doubt, constantly prepared to lay down his life for you on the battlefield. during his time as a soldier, he's grown significantly strong— and once he fell in love with you, he's felt even stronger. not only do you give him drive, but you lend him strength. with that being said, you're somebody he'd die for without even an ounce of hesitation. and knowing him, he's probably made that more than obvious.

when connie's village was destroyed and it was discovered that his entire family was turned into titans, you were one of the only ones to actually comfort him. you were absolutely enraged at how nonchalantly your lover's loss was set aside, and although he'd tried his hardest to conquer the grief alone, it was you who sat at his bedside at night, cradling him in your arms as he wept. never in your life had you seen him so distraught. after that period of time, your relationship with him only deepened in its seriousness. 

as expected, you and sasha spend quite a bit of time together! after all, that's your boyfriend's best friend. given her easygoing nature, it didn't take long for sasha to absolutely adore you. naturally, she wonders how the hell you manage to operate with a boyfriend like that, but she tries not to ask questions.

speaking of the wonder twins, they love getting you in trouble. whenever the two of them think up an astonishingly moronic shenanigan, there's a solid 50/50 chance that you'll be looped into it, too. one time, they purposefully dulled jean's razor, and when he went to shave, it only ended in him splitting his face open due to placing too much pressure. as a joke, those two jackasses carved your initials into the handle. when jean decided that he'd murder you, connie tried playing the hero, lEapiNg to your defense. it was stupid, and it didn't work. you still laugh about it, though.

there have been several jokes regarding starting a family and growing old together— secretly, though, connie doesn't want them to just be jokes.

he stole a stray cat for you. yup, yes he did. the two of you were walking about the city, and you saw a gray-haired sleeping beside a trash bin behind a local vendor. you compared its fur to the color of his hair, calling it cute. out of impulse, connie went back to that exact same vendor later on that day, trapped the cat in a box, and brought it to your doorstep.

his forearms and fingertips were covered in claw marks, but to see your face light up the way that it did, any amount of pain was immediately worth it.

after the nickname that shadis had given connie on the first day of cadet training, you named the kitty q-ball. 🥺

during the season four era, the two of you share a house. at first, captain levi argued against it— "put a pair of horny teenagers in a home together, what do you think is gonna happen?"

y'all said fuck it, and lived together anyways. it's you, him, and your lovely child, q-ball. occasionally jean, too. some nights, he doesn't want to be alone.

eskimo kisses. during the prepping of every single mission, you'll get eskimo kisses. it's a small, loving gesture the two of you do before heading into the battlefield. as a sign of your love, you'll press your foreheads together and rub noses, weapons holstered and ready for combat. it's a serious tradition, and it'll never be ignored.

and after a mission, connie has this habit of pinching your cheeks immediately after rushing towards you. it isn't to be cute, either. it's so that he can scan you, and check you for any harm. basically, it's him squeezing the life out of your face while bombarding you with questions.

expect supremely cheesy pet names! bae, biscuit, buttercup, baby thing, sexy bitch, and so on. if it were anyone else, he would 100% make fun of them. but it's him, therefore adorable.

[oswinsdolma]

Proving all the Knights of the Round Table have magic part 3: Elyan

I've seen quite a few people headcanon Elyan with magic before, and it's definitely one of the more popular magic!knights hcs, so I apologise if I accidentally hijack anyone else's points xx

The most obvious indicator of this is the fact that Elyan leaves Camelot a year before Merlin arrives. This is about the same age Morgana's magic shows itself, so it would be natural to assume he left because he began showing signs of being a warlock, Camelot's laws being what they are.

It is also implied that Elyan left fairly abruptly, with Gwen having no idea where he went. He may have left in a hurry because somebody might have noticed him, and not told Gwen or Tom for fear of putting them in danger.

Perhaps in a darker note, he didn't say where he was going because he was ashamed of his magic and didn't think his family would accept him.

Gwen says that "[Elyan] always seems to be in the wrong place at the wrong time". Maybe accidents happen around him because he had trouble controlling his magic and found it increasingly difficult to cover for. This could be another indicator as to why he left.

Elyan didn't return to Camelot even for his father's funeral, and while he expresses his guilt, he doesn't give sufficient reason why: the reason? He may not be able to tell Gwen because he was still scared to return with magic.

When Gwen reveals her relationship with Arthur, Elyan is skeptical, and maybe even a little panicked. After all, would your sister falling in love with someone with the power to set you ablaze not be a terrifying concept to anyone with magic? But when Arthur comes to rescue them and proves himself to be slightly less of a prat than he may think, he tentatively agrees to return home, though I suspect this is mainly for Gwen's sake.

When the immortal army invades Camelot, Elyan manages to stay hidden and fight off some soldiers. Note that he is the only one of the group within Camelot with no Knights' training, which begs the question: how did he manage to escape? The answer could very well lie with magic.

Again, in The Darkest Hour, he is one of two knights that survived the meeting with Morgana. He is one of the more inexperienced knights as well, which suggests that he may have aided himself magically in the fight.

When faced with a seemingly unbeatable threat, Elyan says to Arthur: "tomorrow, we fight in your name, sure. For freedom and justice in this land." Now there is a lot to unpack here, but if we break it down, firstly there is the fact that Elyan places is emphasis on "your" when addressing Arthur. He has previously made a statement about the Pendragon crest, but in this moment, it seems that he cares more about Arthur than this. This is clearly indicative of the fierce bond between Arthur and the core knights, but it could be more than that: the emphasis of "your" is specific to Arthur, but perhaps more importantly, it is an exclusion of Uther. In his time, Arthur has made mistakes, but he has generally been more sympathetic towards magic than his father, and this may be Elyan's subtle way of acknowledging that.

In addition, the words: "for freedom and justice in this land" could just be in reference for Arthur's abilities as king, but this is a deep speech and one would assume it has a deeper meaning. Freedom and justice are two things that have not been afforded to those with magic for a long time. Uther's twisted "justice" involved executing anyone who disagreed with him and anyone who could be vaguely affiliated with sorcery. As for freedom, Arthur has created a fairer kingdom than his father, but magic users still live in fear. Combined with the earlier stress of "your", this is indicative that Elyan too believes that Arthur may one day come to bring peace to anyone who is born with magic.

This last point also has the implications that Elyan knows of the Once and Future King and surrounding prophecies. Though he is described as a troublemaker by Gwen before he comes to Camelot, he keeps his head relatively low upon arrival. Perhaps in the time he spent travelling, he sought help from magical communities, e.g. the druids, who helped him control his powers. This would also explain his vagueness about his whereabouts and lack of contact during the years he was missing.

I could go on about this quote but we'll leave it there for now.

Before he is overtaken by the power of the Lamia, Elyan is vocal in standing up for Merlin. This could be because he knows what it is like to be shunned by society. Magic could be a reason for that. (Also I fully believe that the only reason the Lamia didn't try and take over Merlin was because she was scared of the extent of his magic, not just because he had magic.)(and the merthur reasons when I'm in the mood)

Then Elyan falls sick, before the others begin to show symptoms. Maybe the Lamia sensed some magic and decided he was more trouble than he was worth.

Elyan was not raised by druids, and does not have the same powers as Merlin so wouldn't have sensed the power of the shrine, at least not too strongly. When he first sees the spirit though, he is genuinely sympathetic, even before the murderous intent takes hold.

In the Dark Tower, Elyan is consumed by his need to find Gwen, convinced that he is to blame for her capture. This could be survivor's guilt (and to an extent, probably is), but it is equally probable that Elyan believes that he should have used his magic to protect her.

Going off on a slight tangent here, the theme of "I have magic so it must have a purpose" within warlocks/sorcerers in the show is a) not a healthy mindset and b) uncomfortably common. Elyan may have latched onto the idea that he must use his magic to protect Gwen to convince himself to stay in Camelot, and with that conprmino, he began to fall apart. His behaviour is almost identical to Merlin's fervour regarding Arthur at this point, and it's fairly disturbing that these characters adopt this mindset that is Not Good For Their Mental Heath, Please Get Some Therapy.

Elyan dies. It's heartbreaking, and he does so trying to save his sister. But what is interesting is his funeral. When most main characters die, they are given a funeral in Camelot, e.g. Uther, Lancelot (the first time). But then Freya and Shade!Lanceot (and later Arthur) are set to rest in the Lake of Avalon. The difference between the two is that the lake funerals were arranged by Merlin, and those laid to rest there can somehow be affiliated with magic.

Now I'm not saying that Merlin knew about Elyan's magic, because sometimes he can be really not very perceptive about that (though it's always fun when fics cheerily toss that out the window because it's fun goddamnit-), but I don't believe he was entirely oblivious. Think about it: there are two of Arthur's closest friends canonically hiding magic from him and it's fairly probable that they'll pick up on Elyan's magic at some point. Even if it's just little things like his sympathies with magic or gentle arguments about the way mages are treated. There are so many avenues to explore with this it's overwhelming-

I also think Elyan may have picked up on Merlin's magic later in the series: the point of realisation was probably when Merlin rescued him during his time being possessed by the drowned druid boy, upon which he says: "you know, Merlin, you're much braver than you look." This is the first time Merlin has revealed his more BAMF side to Elyan, and in this moment, something unspoken passes between them. If not mutual understanding, it is at least Elyan realising what Merlin does beneath his carefree exterior, and despite the possession, I think he acquires a lot of new respect for his friend.

(also are we going to ignore that the lake funeral implies that it was arranged by Merlin. How close were they and what stuff did we miss out on behind the scenes for him to be trusted with this?? I need to know)

Elyan and Mordred have a friendship in series 5. If the earlier headcanon about Elyan learning to control his magic with druids is true, perhaps he may have recognised Mordred from his time there. They probably didn't acknowledge it much, but it created a bond between them.

And now for the mythological context!!

Of all the Knights of the Round Table, Elyan's backstory is perhaps the most estranged from the original legend (of course all of them are fairly disconnected *flashbacks to pope-gwaine* but Elyan's is w a c k y)

As a consequence, there is little to draw on for behind-the-scenes evidence of magic.

Elyan, or Helayn, was another Knight whose origins stem from France (the Vulgate Cycle, I think, though he could have surfaced earlier). He is said to have joined Lancelot in exile after his affair of 'courtly love' with Guinevere (go and look up this concept- it gets convoluted in the myths but is really interesting in terms of both origin and content). Anyway, his exile here could represent the time he spent out of Camelot before his appearance in s3, and relates to hiding from harsh laws, particularly if we regard Lancelot and Guinevere's relationship in the same way as we do in the Vulgate Cycle (basically keep the context with the appropriate work and it sort of makes sense)

I appreciate this seems a little like grasping at straws but that's literature I suppose ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

In the legends, Elyan is nephew to another of Arthur's knights, Sir Sagramore. This knight is less famous than some, but at one point, he embarks on a quest to find the fay. The fay are closely linked with the she, and perhaps also live on Avalon, somewhere mortals are only supposed to see moments before death. Perhaps Elyan can be associated with this magic?

In reality, there is little written of Elyan and no prose or poetry dedicated to him so it's quite hard to find stuff about him.

Also legend!Elyan is heir to the throne of Constantinople, which just goes to prove how widespread and deeply convoluted the mythos is.

[elencelebrindal]

If I'm not mistaken you've now read/watched the three mxtx works and WoH. How would you rank them following personal preference? Which main couple did you like the most? Favorite plot twists in all four?

Yep, I did. I still have to read Faraway Wanderers though. Can't wait to.

This came out to be quite a long post, so I'll put it under the read more thingy.

Now, how would I rank them?

I'll have Tian Guan Ci Fu at the top, no doubts. It's my absolute favorite among all these four, and will probably remain my favorite even after I finally get to read the huge thing that's 2ha. It's the perfect balance of a story with no characters left unexplained (except for the minor ones and RIP Hua Cheng's backstory, why did mxtx rob us so much), of characters being unique all in different ways, and of a romance that, while being absolutely the main focus of the novel, is not overwhelming. For me, an aro/ace person, the romance written in TGCF is so good that it made even me stupidly happy. I don't get such big smiles on my face while reading my own romantic content.

This is the ONLY novel I've ever read that doesn't have a single character I hate in it. Only one, maybe two at most, that I dislike. That's it. Everyone's good. Everyone.

Then I'll definitely have Word of Honor. Just like TGCF, it's a really good balance between an interesting story (I was literally squirming in my seat while impatiently waiting for things to be revealed, enjoying every second of it) and a subtle romance that was still obvious enough to make me wonder what the hell happened with censorship in this drama. Not that I'm complaining though.

Almost all the characters are incredibly good. They have depth to them, all the main ones have either a satisfying backstory or a beautifully crafted development.

And this is it for the ranking. I wrote way more than I should have, but oh well.

After that, it's a tie between Mo Dao Zu Shi and Scum Villain. I don't want to favor one over the other, because I genuinely like them the same. Scum Villain is really underrated, and while I understand it somewhat, it's really unfair.

MDZS (and The Untamed) has a story that draws you to it, especially if you (like me) have an obsession with all things dark and spooky and terrifying like the demonic cultivation in this, like the whole mystery they have to solve with body parts leading them to the solution. The drama, as good as it was, really didn't do justice to the spook factor of using dismembered parts of a corpse to move around.

SVSSS is straight up weird, literally an isekai but make it Chinese. I think the best part of it is Shen Yuan panicking and cussing everyone out every time something happens around him, though... I really loved the story and the way it played out. I especially liked how the novel kept mentioning Proud Immortal Demon Way and compared the events of that book to the events that were happening in that book's world.

But why do I prefer Word of Honor to them? Well, it's simple. There's some aspects of the romance that don't resonate well with me.

WangXian is a beautiful couple, and they deserve all the happiness in the world (they have a canonic son!!!!!!!!), but Wei WuXian's initial obliviousness made me really uncomfortable at times. Not because he didn't know Lan WangJi was in love with him (the fool! thank goodness for Guanyin Temple), but because he kept teasing Lan WangJi about it while the latter was drunk. I mean, I get it. If you don't know, you don't realize what you're doing. But as a person that easily suffers from people making fun of me behind my back... it kinds struck a nerve. I still love them to pieces, though, they're so good together.

BingQiu, well... this is a rollercoaster of a couple. Again, I absolutely love them together, but some parts come off almost as scenes where consent is thrown to the wind. As a reader you know Shen QingQiu is willing and in love (gods, they married each other, I'd be a fool to say the opposite), but there should be a limit to how many times a willing person should say "No" in such a novel. This is mostly me being my aro/ace self, though. I don't really understand what goes on in the world of intimacy between people because I (literally) don't give a fuck, so I'm probably reading too much where there's too little. Don't take this as me not liking BingQiu, I'm in love with them and I desperately need more content.

Favorite plot twists, eh? Okay, big SPOILER ALERT from here onwards. And I mean it. BIG. SPOILER. ALERT.

Now, which main couple did I like the most?

Hualian. I don't even need to think about it. Bonus point because they're both out of their minds and the extras show it.

I said it before, and I'll say it again. I never have smiles so big and goofy in front of anything else, not even my own stuff. Hualian genuinely makes me happy.

Stop reading if you haven't finished all four of these, please.

...

Okay, here I go.

WoH:

Wen KeXing faking his death and telling basically everyone but Zhou ZiShu.

The villain being Zhao Jing; I was actually fooled and thought the main bastard of the series was Gao Chong.

Episode 35, and I'm not saying anything else. Although, as soon as that son of a bitch put his hands on Cao Weining's face like that, I genuinely knew what was going to happen.

The hairpin being the key for the armory. That was so stunning I had to pause the episode for a second and take a walk around the house.

MDZS:

Jin GuangYao being the villain. And being an amazing villain, on top of that.

Nie Huaisang. Fuck's sake, that man fooled the entire fandom just like that. I don't think many people realized he was the one behind everything.

The golden core transplant reveal. I'm sure that more experienced readers and viewers (aka people that had read/watched a ton more cultivation world stuff) had hints of it, but when I watched The Untamed I never read/watched anything remotely close to this genre. It hit me like a brick and I sat in front of the screen in shock.

SVSSS:

Shang QingHua being Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky. It's such a silly thing, but it made me pause for a good five minutes. I wasn't expecting it in the slightest.

The whole thing with the Old Palace Master. The man belongs to the dumpster he never got thrown into.

Tianlang-Jun not actually being the villain. Poor demon, he just wanted to continue with the questionable hobby of reading porn and daydreaming about Shen QingQiu's relationships.

I think I had another one, but it's late and I'm probably forgetting it.

TGCF:

Oh boy, where do I belong? Ah yes, the entirety of book 4. Took me out on the spot.

Jun Wu being Bai WuXiang completely blew me away. That was probably the biggest plot twist in the history of plot twists.

Also, Ling Wen knowing, and her being the creator of the Brocade Immortal.

Fu Yao and Nan Feng being Feng Xin and Mu Qing. For some reason, even if it's kinda obvious when you take a good look at them, it never clicked before being revealed.

On the same note, Ming Yi being He Xuan, and the Earth Master being actually dead. What a ride that arc has been for me.

One of the most important details, however... I got it myself. The ring Hua Cheng gives to Xie Lian. I see so many people saying that they didn't expect the ring to be his ashes, but I did something I generally can't stop myself from doing. I guessed something tremendously important by accident, something I do with many many books so I can ruin the experience for myself. I was literally sitting down, taking a break from reading (I devoured TGCF in 3 days, I needed that break lol), and all of a sudden this goddamn revelation descend upon me like the holy spirit, completely out of the blue. I just sat up, looked at the screen, and went "the ring is is fucking ashes, isn't it?", and completely ruined the surprise for myself.

And this is it.

If there's more I forgot (probably) I don't know. For now, this is my answer. Way too long, as always.

[funkymbtifiction]

moving on? hah!

The assumption seems to be that ENPs “move on” quickly from people. This is not the case for me, although my being a 6w7 makes me want to skip as much of the pain as possible and immediately find new friends… but that isn’t how it works, in reality. This year I’ve been dealing with three things in particular, lower Si nostalgia, higher Ne “romanticizing” of the past, and 2 fix “but now there’s a hole in my heart…” thinking.

I had a friend for over fifteen years. She was a 9 and prone to the “disappearing act.” Even though I did not understand it (until it was too late), I put up with it for almost the entirety of our knowing each other. This vanishing act brought out my 2ishness in that I would, after a period of not hearing from her, become more ‘seeking’ in trying to coax her out into the open. It got to feel, after awhile, like I was begging for attention and offering to host everything fun (doing all the work of staying connected), just to get a weekend of her time. And then we would connect, have fun, and she would leave… and the cycle would start all over again. Even before the pandemic started, we were having problems – our interests were no longer the same, we had grown apart, and our visits with each other had periods of long silences and awkwardness. Objectively, there was nothing tethering us together except “but we’ve always been friends.” But the pandemic finished us off. I didn’t hear from her for four months, in which I both wanted to keep her spirits up, and have her do the same for me, and when I did finally hear from her in an overly-gushy e-mail (because I had stopped commenting on her blog in a “one way” response system and she noticed and got anxious about me being “mad” so plied me with attention in her own low 2 fixed way)… things came to a head and we went our separate ways. But that was never “that.”

Ne/Si has a way, even without being 4 fixed, of forgetting about the reasons you left someone behind and fixating on the good times, or specific incidents that made you happy. It’s the myopic viewpoint tinged with romanticism and sadness that lacks a stronger Si’s sense of “everything” that went on between two people. And then there’s the high Ne desire to move on, but the inability to do so due to this… floating “but what if we could have changed it?” mult-faceted idealistic way of thinking. There so many ways it could have gone better… Yes, but we did not fix it. We tried. Endless times. We had the “let’s really stay in touch” chat. It never worked.

So for the last few months, since we parted, she has been often on my mind, just as she was for over a decade, only now it’s not my “job” to care for her. It’s my “job” to, whenever I start feeling nostalgic and thinking only about the good times, to remind myself that yes, we had fun watching Dracula and going to Comic Con, but let’s also think about all the frustrations, disappointments, misunderstandings, and “bad times,” too, and not just focus on the good ones. One needs to remember the pain and not just the happiness. Too much water under the bridge had passed and too much growth apart had come between us, and our friendship boat was held together with duct tape and me “trying too hard.” Still, the default mindset is “but what if…”

Then there is the 2ish side of things. When I adopt people, I naturally ease into a comforter role. This can mean people wind up telling me too much intimate information, because I’m a tolerant and supportive, reassuring listener, and I genuinely do care about their emotional well being. This girl is a 972 in need of constant stimulation and fun things to look forward to… and the pandemic has stripped all that away from her and taken everything she used to love about the holidays. All the events, the high teas, the special dinners, the Christmas mixers, and replaced it with social distancing. My 2 is still connected to her, in I find it easy to imagine and feel her frustration, disappointment, and depression over this. I occasionally run across her on social media and because she is a Fe, she is talking about that very thing. My instinct is still to console her. But it’s not my job to lift her spirits and encourage her anymore. The impulse is still there, held in check only by “… but we are no longer friends.” And it’s hard to fight the 2w1 tendency to self-lecture and say, “It’s not about me or my feelings, it’s about her needs.” This is the 2’s core/fix’s struggle: to let go of people, and let others, closer friends, better friends, “take care of them.”

This is why I thought I was 4 fixed for a long time. I have the “… but when they are gone, I long for them to return, and if they return, I no longer want them” trait. If we became friends again, we would fall into the exact same pattern of behavior that did not work for us last time, and I would quickly become frustrated and resentful. I’m always looking for a deeper, more romantic connection, not the hard, boring slog of a relationship. But the difference is, I’ll do it. I am thinking of what you need more than admitting that my needs are valid, too.

The 269 is the most forgiving tritype and… that is true for me. A few weeks apart and all my anger and active frustration in being “stuck” in a relationship that isn’t fulfilling to me dissipates and leaves me wondering if I could have somehow made it work. If I made the wrong choice, even if all the evidence says the opposite. If “we” deserved another chance. It’s a constant battle to remind myself of all the facts or even to remember them (ah, the bane of being a Ne-dom).

There really is no point to this other than to illustrate how hard it can be for an inferior Si to let go and move on and stop thinking about the past and only remembering the good times. That’s why so many ENFPs – with their endless optimism – “get stuck.”

[ymiwritesstuff]

Hi hi! How are you? Hope you're doing okie dokie! Could I request some angst where the reader is a vampire and will testimony DIO's death by Jotaro's hand and tries to avenge him but cannot and the crusaders are forced to do something since they cannot let anyone off the hook?

Hello there! I’m doing alright thank you! This request was really really fun and painful to work on and I really hope you enjoy it! Thank you so much for requesting!

Fruitless Vengeance

Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure Part 3: Stardust Crusaders

Dio Brando x Fem!Vampire!Reader

Summary: A certain vampire had a special effect on you but when your cherished relationship faces a horrifying threat, a thirst for revenge consumes you.

Notes: Angst, SPOILERS FOR PART 3

Having lived for literal centuries, blessed by the gift of eternal life you had come across many kinds of people as well as other ethereal beings of the dark. As the long years went by and events occurred, you witnessed the changes in how people acted, how inventions were invented, and how your kind slowly vanished from the face of the Earth, either by a misplaced step into the deadly sunlight or by those pathetic humans who feared vampires.

When you encountered him after wandering around in the streets of Egypt, the moment stuck to you and remained within you even months after it had occurred. It was clear to you from the moment you set your (E/C) eyes on Dio’s resplendent form that he was something special. He only had to look at you with those piercing amber eyes to make you realize just how much power he possessed. Yet at the same time, that fierce gaze had a strange alluring effect on you as it pulled you in and made his presence that much more captivating.

You had met many others of your kind but something about him radiated a totally foreign type of energy, something you had never experienced before. Dio was special, one of his kind, unlike any other vampire you had ever faced. And the reason for that strange power was revealed to you when the Lord told you about Stands, the powerful energy that manifested into a spirit, you finally understood what made him emit such strength. The concept fascinated you, to the point where Dio was willing to assist you in awakening your own fighting spirit. And thus, with the help of a certain arrow, your stand awakened.

The admiration you held for him was genuine, and you soon found yourself willing to do anything for him. A part of this was due to his natural charm that had completely taken over you, but in the end, it all came down to the fact that he was the only other vampire you had encountered in years, and as you spent more time with him, and he told his story, you couldn’t help but feel bad for him. Even though his exterior was as tough as a mountain, you could see cracks in it, and it made you appreciate him even more.

~

Your heavy panting and your fast heartbeat were the only things audible to you as you ran towards the direction you had seen the two fighting figures head to. For the first time in the centuries of being alive, you were afraid. It felt as though even with the superior speed of a vampire, you weren’t fast enough, and the rare fear that plagued your heart made you doubt. Doubt everything. Every time stop his stand produced, you felt them. And they were strangely growing weaker. And that made your core tremble with anxiety.

Another one. You weren’t certain how you were able to sense the times he used his stand’s overwhelming power, but it was clear as day that what you felt was indeed The World’s time stop. As you ran towards him, you focused on the sensation, counting the seconds that had become significantly longer. Dio had moved at such a fast speed as he was battling Jotaro you couldn't keep track of him. You weren’t even sure the direction you were heading was the correct one but that underlying fear poisoning you was fueling your being and demanding you to find him. Because something inside you told you that everything wasn’t alright.

Suddenly, a sound that could only be described as something massive hitting the asphalt surface of the road pierced through the air. This immediately caused you to pick up speed and head towards the sound even quicker than before, still feeling like it wasn’t enough. Whatever had just happened, you were certain it had something to do with the ongoing battle of the stand users, and it worried you.

As you ran, every possible worst-case scenario entered your mind. Despite knowing just how powerful Dio was, you couldn’t help but think of the possibility of him losing this fateful battle. No, he had to win. He was the strongest being you had ever met, surely, he would be able to best this human teenager that had caused him so much trouble. Your panting increased the more you ran but your eyes quickly notice two figures. One is standing while the other... Is on the ground. No. 

They’re too far away for you to identify them but you pray for whatever higher power there was that the one on the ground wasn’t him. Your growing exhaustion plants itself onto you and your whole body succumbs to it, feeling as if it’s on fire. However, you kept on running, desiring but also dreading to get a better view of the possibly alarming situation.

As you got closer, however, something happened. A set of quick movements by the two figures caught your attention and you could finally tell that the person on the ground was indeed the Lord and the other person, Jotaro, was standing in front of him awaiting his next move. Everything seemed to happen in an instant, and before you even knew it, Dio had gotten up and aimed a powerful kick at the now vulnerable teen. This gave you hope. Finally, after all the struggle and trials, he was about to put an end to the petty group that so foolishly tried to oppose him.

But he didn’t.

All your movements and seemingly the entire world came to a halt. The World’s leg came in contact with Star Platinum’s fist and for a moment, it looked like the battle would end in the blonde vampire’s victory. However, everything collapsed. The stand’s leg cracked, and that painful crack traveled all across the left side of the stand, but most horrifyingly, its user. Dio yelled in pain as his entire being began to disintegrate, his entire body being torn in half.

“NO!” A scream ripped out of your throat as your eyes helplessly watch the horrifying sight. His amber eyes lock onto you, a shine of desperation and fear shining in them as his body gets ripped apart in the most merciless way you could have ever imagined. Your body begins to tremble, your eyes fill with burning tears and another, gutwrenching screams escapes your mouth. It all happened so fast, and now, he was gone. And all that remained was his soulless body, brutally ripped in two.

Then, your eyes turn to Jotaro, whose own were on you, with no pity in them. Your grief quickly turns into rage, a spark of fury igniting within you. With one swift movement, you lunge at the black-haired teen, summoning your stand in the process in hopes of avenging the one you love.

In the heat of the moment, you fail to remember all the warnings you had received regarding Jotaro’s stand and receive a grim reminder as Star Platinum’s fist comes in contact with your body, knocking you on the ground. The impact most likely broke a couple of bones as a cry of pain leaves your mouth. You stay strong and lock your eyes on Jotaro again, unwilling to give up. “Y-you... You’ll pay for what you did!” The tears that form in your eyes feel like glass shards, the pain traveling to your entire being.

You attempt to get up, determined to kill this pathetic child, the sadness roaming inside mixing with undying hatred. The effort is in vain as you collapse on the ground again, your broken bones that would eventually regenerate screaming in pain. “Don’t try to get up. You’ll only end up on the ground again.” His voice was cold, unphased by what he had just done. And that only fueled your anger.

“I-I... Y-you... How could you..” A sob escapes your lips as your fury quickly gets overpowered by the sadness. How could he be so... So unaffected by this? Your entire world was crushed and he didn’t seem to care. You felt your injuries slowly healing, and Jotaro seemed to notice this.

“So you’re just like him. Fucking hell...” He sighed in frustration and for a moment the cold stare he gave you frightened you. But at the same time, he looked unsure. His turquoise eyes had a strange shine that seemed to be unsure about what to do next. Jotaro had never killed any of Dio’s minions, only injured them enough for them to retire, but with you, being a powerful vampire like Dio and trying to avenge your Lord, the teen wasn’t sure what to do.

“Good grief...” The uncertainty plastered across his face gave you the perfect opportunity to strike, but you couldn’t. In the end, no matter what you did, nothing would bring him back. Your hands clench into fists, your tears falling onto the hard ground as the sight of Dio being obliterated is still freshly planted within your mind. And that sight didn’t allow you to give up as the last of your injuries quickly healed.

You lift your head up to look at your loved one’s killer into those cursed eyes and wait for him to make his move.

“Whatever you decide do, Jotaro... Know, that I won’t give up...”

[popculturebuffet]

The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck: The Last of the Clan McDuck!  Review “It Was Worth THE Dime”

This is one of my faviorite comic book stories of all time. Given i’m a massive comics nerd, for both books and strips, that is the highest praise I can give this wonderful, epic, beautifully drawn and deeply emotoinal story. I first discovered it in the local library that had the second volume, and found the rest online at a now long dead fan site. And while it took me longer than I care to admit to really dig into Duck Comics, and even now i’ve only scratched the surface, I can say without a doubt this story is the reason I’m so deeply attached to Scrooge as a character, and that I was excited as  I was for Ducktales 2017. This comic showed me just what Scrooge McDuck should be at his core as a character, and showed me what a wonderful character that is. So with all that glowing praise as you can guess i’ve been wanting to cover this for years, and even considered though back when I was more primarily a comic book reviewer last year. Any time i’ve reviewed stuff before now, i’ve considered it, and with Scrooge’s Sisters Hortense and Matilda presumably and definitely debuting on Ducktales soon, and it’s about damn time, the timing could not be better or clearer to dig into this utter triumph.  But before we can take a look at the story itself we naturally have to take a look at the man behind it: Writer and Artist Don Rosa. Don Rosa is easily one of the best Duck Comics writer out there, seen by many as only second to his own faviorite duck comics writer and God of Ducks, Carl Barks. For those 1 of you who do not know, Barks was the man who created pretty much everything in the duck universe comics wise and a bit in animation too: He created Daisy, Scrooge, Gladstone, Magica, The Beagle Boys, The Junior Woodchucks, Gyro, Little Bulb, Glomgold, Rockerduck, and the list goes on. While he didn’t make EVERY duck, he made so many that it’d be impossible to imagine either version of Ducktales being possible without him.  So of course Rosa was a fan and while he took up the family buisness, he was also an artist and duck comics fanboy on the side. So when, even if it meant a paycut, the opportunity to actually write and draw them came up, he lept at it and thus became one of their publishers go to guys, even if said publisher published the stories overseas where the Duck Comics are far more popular and still going to this day, and ironically where most duck comics printed nowadays get their stories from. Rosa was known for his meticous historical research and gorgeous art that he took his time drawing to get just perfect and showed on the page. The man has easily some of hte best and most detailed duck art around and I still haven’t found a duck artist that can match him.. and if you have or found one close i’d genuinely love to see that. He is a genuinely talented, spirited guy who was sadly mistreated by disney and that, coupled with tragically failing eyesight, eventually ended his career. He’s still around and I genuinely hope to meet him some day as he still does conventions.  The man is not without fault: I don’t get his hatred of superhero comics, as while I get them overshadowing funnybooks and that around the time of his career they were in decline, but it’s just as unfair to write off Superhero comics as mindless.  garbage as it is for people to write off the Duck Comics as “only for kids” and I genuinely wish he’d see that and see how the medium has evolved so much since then. I also grumble a bit as his refusal to allow anything besides barks into his bubble, and having to be forced to include fethry on the family tree, but that’s more personal preference. I like using as much material as you got. IT’s why i’ve wanted to, and hopefully will eventually get around to, write a sonic fanfic using bits of all the various universes that for legal, ken penders being an absolute waste of a human being, and sega being stupid reasons can’t be used anymore. I like taking everything in a franchise and putting it in a blender and it’s why I love the reboot. But there’s nothing wrong with taking things as is, not stepping on toes canon wise, but still being awesome. We’re just diffrent people and that’s okay.  And a lot of his fanboy showing actually lead to REALLY good things: Goldie O’Gilt was a one off character, and while used ocasoinally overseas, didn’t really pick up as a character again until a combination of Ducktales 87 and Rosa’s work with her, as he always loved the character, and fleshing her out lead to her being used more, and gaining a sizeable fandom. He also gained the Cablleros an even bigger fandom by giving them two stories of their own, and fleshing them out a bit more.  And this very comic is the peak of that, taking EVERY mention of scrooge’s past from various backstories to set up adventures, every tiny scrap, and to his credit going to both Barks Himself and various other Barks Experts Rosa was friends with to check his work, especially difficult given he likey had to find these stories in issue or pullt hem from disney archives, and complied it into one long epic that not only uses all this info effortlessly, but spins a compelling story that gives us a clear vision of what Scrooge should be, how he became the man he is, and how he lost himself only to find himself again with the help of three precocious boys and a cynical 30 something duck. So taint all bad is what i’m saying.  As for how this got started, thankfully rosa himself provided the origin story for this project in the back of the volume of his works that contained the first 7 chapters of life and times, as well as detailed notes for every chapter. At the time Rosa was working for Egmont, the big european publisher who handles Disney’s much larger european comics market, hence why most of his stories appeared years earlier in Europe before debuting here. The american publisher at the time , and an old friend of his, called Rosa with an idea: A 12 issue Maxi-Series focusing on Scrooge’s history, since at the time they were all the rage.. and really even today mini series are still a viable market and many indie titles just have several minis instead of an ongoing. So it wasn’t a bad idea, Rosa just simply offered a tweak: He’d tell his publisher at Egmont about the idea, and let her get a crack team of writers and artists to do this proper, and thus Disney could publish it for free once it was done and for no extra cost. Rosa gave his publisher a fax detaling both the idea and the fact that it needed to be done right, given to the best person possible, and done with the greatest care. She agreed.. and naturally handed it to him, as he admits he hoped. She made the right call, a legend was born and here we are.  One last bit before the read more and before I get to the first story itself at last: Since barks wrote a lot of side stories that fit into the canon, I COULD slot them in between chapters, but have instead chosen to review the original 12 part story as was, and do the various side stories and two epilogues, the utterly fantastic “Dream of a Life Time”, easiliy one of my faviorite comics ever, and the also really great “Letter From Home”, which will likely on some level be the basis for the upcoming at the time of this review “Battle for Castle McDuck!”, after completing the story. In other words i’m probably going to be at this for years. so join me under the read more won’t you as I begin the journey of a thousand miles with a single step as we look at the humble start of a legend. 

We begin, after a fun short teaser with present Day scrooge saying his past is no one’s buisness only to get hit with an oh yeah?,  with a scrap book title for the issue, something I want to bring up since while I got that’s what it was what I never got, and  must’ve glanced over when I first read rosa’s notes when I got this copy, was that it isn’t SCROOGE’S scrap book, but his sister Matilda’s who dutifully and happily catologued her brother’s adventures. It’s a really sweet moment.. and something that will hit VERY hard when we reach Chapter 11. If you haven’t read this story or heard of it.. .that’s this story’s equilvent of “Last Crash of the Sunchaser” and clearly Frank and Matt drew from that story a bit for it, but we can get more into the parallels when we get there. A smaller but fun note is that Rosa had specific coin drawing templates, for different indentions and what not he used, and used them for the coins in these intro bits. Yes he admitted he has a problem and yes that’s damn impressive anyway. 

It’s Scrooge’s 10th birthday, and his father Fergus has taken him up to see the family land, Dismal Downs to tell him of the mighty Clan McDuck and show him the ancestral lands, graveyards and Castle. He admits to having taken this long because the Clan McDuck currently lives in Glasgow so it’s kind of a long trip just to show your son “Hey look at the decay and rot that’s our ancestral homeland”. The Clan is on hard times, as a bad shipping deal, the backbone of a rather good barks story and I wont’ be interjecting for every barks reference as it’d get rather tiring though for what it’s worth Rosa provided tons of detailed footnotes in the back of each Fantagraphics collection, so good on him. Speaking of which though they do include 10 pages of Mc Duck family history that was supposed to open this story.. until Rosa’s editor wisely pointed out the story isn’t about them but scrooge and having read his roug draft, yeah.. there’s a good gag here and there, as well as “Dirty” Dingus McDuck, scrooge’s Grandpa and the reason Dewey is cursed with that middle name. Why anyone thought Dingus was a good name is beyond me, nor why Donald thought that was a good middle name back in 2009 is again, beyond me. Good on Don though for getting that past the censors.  But yeah with no money they can’t buy the land back and they were scared off it years ago by a mystical ghost dog, the hound of the whiskervilles. There is treasure in the castle, Sir Quackly’s gold, but he accidently sealed himself into a wall while sealing his treasure in there. Their interrupted by the town assholes, the Whiskervilles who have been grazing sheep on the land and are naturally behind the hound, using the sound of it to scare off Fergus once they realize he’s a McDuck. Because apparently you can keep a Scooby Doo style hoax up for Centuries if you don’t have meddling kids around. Who knew.  Back in Glasgow, we meet the rest of Scrooge’s family: His Uncle Jake, his sisters Matilda and Hortense, and his mother Downy. Jake hasn’t really been mentioned at all in Ducktales and I know next to nothing about him, which given I share a name with the guy you’d THINK I would. I mean I know a decent amount about this Jake. 

But nothing about who the hell Jake McDuck is or why he lives with his brother and his family. Here, you guys watch the dancing Jake, i’m going to probably do that for hours after this review is done, i’m going to go sort this out.  Okay one google and finding the Scrooge Mcduck wiki page on him, Jake shows up here likely because he was referenced in the story “A Christmas For Shacktown” and apparently borrowed from Scrooge and never paid it back. Otherwise.. there’s not a lot about him and unlike the rest of Scrooge’s family he really dosen’t do much that I can remember. Except like 2017 Scrooge, he apparently has become extremely long lived, as Scrooge and Donald STILL think he’s alive in the 1950′s.. and likely is STILL alive in some form in the Don Rosa stories, given his take place after Barks and thus in the 40′s and 50′s where Barks stories were set. Hence why unlike the Reboot, Scrooge isn’t inexpecilbly over 210. But Jake McDuck sure as heck is. Maybe this highlander is a highlander.. you know the movie and tv show type. Maybe someone cut off his head. That’s what i’m going with.

This does bring me to another point about this story: While Barks gave all of scrooge’s family their names, it’s where Rosa got them after all, it’s Rosa who really made them into characters. Fergus as a loving father ashamed his family legacy has fallen and wanting his son to do better than him, Downy as an equally loving wife and mother, Matilda as his sweet and caring sister and later her brother’s moral center, and Hortense.. well here she’s just a babbling baby but her character will become clear and glorious as we go. She is adorable here though and we do get some great bits with her.  Getting back to the plot now i’ve made my points, Jake is riled up wanting to understandably kick the Whiskerville’s asses with Scrooge, who even as a sweet innocent ten year old still has the family temper already, agreeing.. but Downy gently shoots them out pointing that two middle aged-ish men and a 10-year old just aren’t enough to fight an army of them and while she doesn’t mention it the fight would just tire them out for work and accomplish nothing as while it is the McDuck’s land the combination of the hound and the lack of money to move back means it’s pointless. She also mentions their younger brother Pothole, who went to America. This will be important later. 

Scrooge storms off and Fergus laments, in a scene that’s more painful the more I think about it, how his clan has fallen, with he and his brother lamenting their chances at glory are long gone.. but Fergus has hope his son can do better, and for his son’s birthday makes him a shoeshine kit in the hopes of inspiring him to greatness. This scene still resonates since many of us are poor, struggling and not doing so good money wise. I’m sure many parents have doubts and regrets about not being able to do more for their kid.

 Not only that but the story carefully avoids the trap of Fergus accidently being abusive by you know, pinning his family’s future on one 10 year old. While yes he is asking a lot of Scrooge, to restore their family name.. it’s very clear he mostly just wants his son to do better than him. Even if Scrooge was just slightly more successful, Fergus would likely be happy with that. He’s not using the legacy as a “This what you must be” like say the Gems in steven universe did for Steven with Rose’s Legacy, the kind where it sort of suffocates you till youc an make it your own. He’s just saying “this is what you can be” He believes his child can be great and simply once him to reach his full potetial and is simply giving him a means to hopefully do so, a simple home made shoe shine kit. While Jake scoffs, the narration notes the idea isn’t worth a dime.. it’s worth THE dime. The dime that would set Scrooge’s destiny in motion. 

The next morning, Fergus goes to check up on his son and his new buisness but Scroogey’s having no luck and about ready to just quit, the poor child. Also Matilda is dragging her baby sister around like a doll and it’s entirely precious as it is funny. 

But as for those Dorty Boots, Matilda wonders why her dad dosen’t just tell Scrooge that Burt the Ditch Digger is coming. Fergus tells her to quite and then explains his plan: he’s sending Burt to scrooge, with an American dime Fergus and Matilda found, to teach his son a lesson: By giving him a hard days work, he’ll teach him what hard work truly means.. and by having Burt “cheat” him with the American dime, it’ll give him the motivation to keep going and to nto be as wide eyed and trusting. It’s a well meaning if harsh lesson, and the kind you’d expect from 1900′s parenting and fits the origin well: Scrooge still earned his first money square, as he still did work.. but his getting cheated being a lesson dosen’t diminish what it taught scrooge, and helps flesh out what I talked about above, Fergus knowing his son has great potential he just needs inspiration to reach it. And instead of just telling him that he does a con job but it’s the 1900′s. This orign, and Fergus’ part in it would be entirely untouched in Ducktales 2017, the first scrooge based adaptation since this comic came out, and I bless them for it. Frank even said this comic was used as a bible by the writers and while theirs clear deviations, and we’ll get to that, they were mainly done for good reason, and it’s very clear that while scrooge’s history is very VERY diffrent in the reboot, the core of his past is still there. 

So the plan is on and young scrooge spends half an hour killing himself to get Burt’s shoes clean before getting his dime.. and realizing he’s been had, makes this proud decleration that will be the bedrock of his entire life and character. 

Scrooge being naturally stubborn as you can see takes his cheats a leson: There will always be hard honest work, and he will be there to do it and he’ll be tougher and sharper than anyone trying to cheat him out of his pay. Fergus’ plan has the intended effect, and Scrooge having learned a hard lesson now has the drive and determination we know him for. As for why it gives it to him.. I had to think on it a bit but it makes sense: For some a setback like this would make them quit.. for Scrooge it’s just proof he CAN find customers, he CAN do this job, or any at his hardest and instead takes this as a lesson to be prepared ot out think and outfight anyone who dares cheat him again, and to not earn his money by being the kind of guy who cheats a kid out of an honest days pay, but as a good honest duck like his father and his father before him. =He will make his money square so he can be the kind of person this seeming stranger SHOULD have been. Granted we’ll see Scrooge doesn’t end up as the best person at times but .. we’ll get there.  So with the fire inside turned from a spark into the flame Scrooge soon got to work, and by the next panel we see he’s eventually worked his stand up from a small box given to him by his dad, to a three seater shoeshining bench, who he wipes all at once by stretching one of his mother’s girldes over a light pole, a detail I didn’t get the first time around but now love. Naturally being a good kind boy much like his Nephews, Scrooge always gave his proud father a portion of his earnings, if with a full receipt for tax purposes. Because he’s still scrooge after all. His dad wonders he did too good a job while Hortense glxbit’s in agreement. 

As the years go on, a now tween Scrooge is eventually able to save up for a horse cart, and starts selling Fire Wood up in the city. He eventually realizes Peat, an earthy subtance found in bogs I only know about because I had to look it up for this review, is more profitable and with some snappy marketing moves into selling Peat for the rich instead, also showing the young lad already has a grasp of how to sell to obnoxious rich people. 

But while his business is booming, our young hero can’t resist visiting his family’s ancestral home and longing for it, hoping one day to have it for himself and in a nice show of how despite his temper and tenacity forged over the last few years he’s still at hear the kind, sweet optimistic lad he was just a few pages ago, he decides to tidy up the Clan’s Cemetary while he’s here. 

Unfortunately as proof that Donald and Della’s terrible luck comes from both sides of the family the Whiskervilles are sub-glomgold levels of human beings.. or Dogfaces in this case, and are digging up the McDuck Clan’s graves to hunt for treasure. Scrooge tries to simply do the smart thing and flee, but the asshole brigade catch sight of him and mistkaing him for a peat burgalar chase after him.. and spend WAY too much time and energy chasing a teenage boy over some fucking bog grass you clearly aren’t selling yourselves. I mean spare a thought for how dumb this is: They could easily sell of of that peat to put up a fence or chop down some trees to get the material if their really that concerned about someone getting in the bog. Then again this isn the 1800 and 1900′s where the child death toll was simply “Yes”, so they likely thought whose gonna notice one more dead child on our property?

Scrooge heads toward the castle and is gestured in by a friendly mystery duck who gladly shows him around and can tell he’s a McDuck just by look, showing the castle is still in glorious condition as the whiskervilles are too spooked to go in, hence why they didn’t chase Scrooge inside. I’d say being afraid of ghosts but not murdering a child is weird but these are the same guys who thought murdering a child was plan A. We’re not dealing with a brain trust is what i’m saying.  So the mystery duck shows Scroogey around, showing off some colorful stories about his ancestors recycled from that scrapped prologue I mentioned. THe mystery man, who brushes off Scrooge thinking he’s a McDuck asks Scrooge what he’s doing to restore the family glory and while Scrooge points out he’s already working on it, Mystery Duck points out he’s still missing something: He has the drive and the dream, but peat and shoeshining, while getting him good money for his family, aren’t the thing you can build a fortune or a future off of. He then points out where Scrooge’s dime comes from: America.. and that gives the boy the idea to head to the states. As for what he could possibly DO there to start, the mystery guy mentions his uncle pothole. So Scrooge has the dream, the drive.. and now a plan: Go to america, work for his uncle on the riverboats, and work his way up from there till he finds his fortune and restores his family name.  But while his future is settled, the present is still an issue and Scrooge wants to teach the child murder club a lesson and thus borrows, though MM wisely points out it’s all his property a horse and some armor, and stuffs the armor with peat. As for what his plan is.. welllll

That.. is fucking awesome. And far from the last fucking awesome moment in this thing. It also shows off even as not quite a teen yet, Scrooge is still a badass already, and while he doesn’t have his trademark strength or fighting skills quite yet, his ingenuity is already there.. and that will always trump both. The Whiskervilles run away and into some quicksand and Scrooge vows to return one day as laird and reclaim his family land. But that’s a story for a few chapters down the line. As for who the mystery duck is, he’s naturally Sir Quackely himself, or rather his ghost, who was simply guiding Scrooge and didn’t give him the treasure as simply handing him the money wouldnn’t restore their family’s good name or continue their bloodline now would it? 

For now Scrooge returns to work for a bit before finding his way to America: A cattleboat to New Orleans looking for a Cabin Boy. And so Scrooge bids farewell to his family. His Dad, feeling bad he can’t even give his boy shilling, gives him the family pocketwatch with jake pitching in with the family gold dentures. While Scrooge naturally refuses to sell the watch, he does plan to sell the teeth as soon as possible for good reason. We then get some sweet goodbyes with him, his sisters (With hortense uttering her first words to everyone’s astonishment) and loving mother as he wonders just what awaits him in America. 

And there he stands on the bow of a ship, heading for a new land, in New Orleans he can be a new man. And we’ll see just what kind of man he becomes as this series continues. For now this is the end of a chapter but the beginning of a lifetime. 

Final Thoughts on Last of the Clan McDuck:

This story is excellent. While there are even better chapters to come, this one is still one of the most memorable and most joyous, showing just how Scrooge became what he is, where some of his values come from, others will be instilled along the way , and beginning to flesh out his family. We see Scrooge’s love of wealth comes from starting from the bottom, growing up with a family that barely had anything and badly needed everything, but was loving and instilled fine morals in him. We also see a Scrooge far removed from the bitter old man he is in present day, an optimistic naïve young lad who only wants best for his family. It’s a nice stark contrast to who he’ll become, good and bad, and a nice way to both compare him to Huey Dewey and Louie and break your heart as his own hardens before briefly turning black later on.  The art, as is standard for this series and Rosa, is breathtaking, and the story isn’t lacking in good jokes, their just downplayed so the story itself can take center stage. There’s nothing really more to say: it’s an excellent start to an even more excellent tale and stands proud among an already stellar story as one of it’s finest outings. 

NEXT RAINBOW: Scrooge goes down to the mighty Missipi to work on the riverboats and meets one of his signature Rogue’s for the first time in their first form, as well as Gyro’s dad.. or grandpa.. or possibly both I don’t know his family tree. Point is, tune in next time for some riverboat hyjinks.  Until then if you’d like to comission an episode of any animated show, especially ducktales and the various other duck related disney shows, or another Duck Comics story you really like from Rosa, Barks or whoever you want really, I take commissions for 5 dollars a review, with 5 dollars off your full order when you put in for more than one episode or issue. You can also follow me on patreon.com/popculturebuffet and for just two bucks a month get access to polls (which i’ll start once we have at least three patreons), and my exclusive discord server. And if you liked this review be sure to reblog it to show off. My self promotion done until next time: There’s always another rainbow. 

[skullsandwineglasses]

My Best Friend’s Story (2020) Final Review

I’ve written two first impressions of this drama here (first episode impression) and here (episodes 1-7 impression). Beyond the first 7 episodes, I continued to enjoy the drama until episode 24 or so. But when Jiang Nansun returned from Italy, that’s when the drama started to go downhill for me. One good thing that I appreciated in this drama is that the personalities of the characters stayed relatively consistent, which is an accomplishment for cdramas. However, my gripe was with how the ambitions of the characters changed. Even though the plot was quite simplistic in the first half of the drama, it felt like Nansun and Suosuo were actively moving the plot forward. They had agency over their own growth. But in the second half, they were striving for things they didn’t want. Rather, they were coping with life stressors and making compromises. It might sound like a realistic depiction of the unpredictability of life struggles, but what was frustrating about the plot progression was that both Nansun and Suosuo made things harder than they had to be. 

Jiang Nansun

I actually really liked Nansun’s character development. She didn’t just grow for the sake of growing, but we see her potential of becoming someone competent and independent early on. This means that sooner or later, she would become a mature woman over time, but her father’s suicide triggered this growth sooner than expected. 

Despite having an opposite upbringing from Suosuo, Nansun and Suosuo are actually quite similar in terms of their outlook on life and their judgments of people. That’s why they’ve managed to stay best friends for so many years. What’s different between them is that Suosuo has had to stand up and protect herself more often. This means that she’s used to being confrontation. 

Nansun is a bit more reserved. She does things more underhandedly. She’s more of a schemer. When you see how she handled things with Yuan Yuan, we see how she’s not above lying and bribery to safekeep her sense of security. Even Suosuo was shocked about how cleverly and calmly Nansun was able to figure out the truth of her boyfriend’s past with Yuan Yuan. 

But, we also see that Nansun is also capable of being just as spoken as Suosuo. She openly bickers with Wang Yongzeng. She never hesitates to stand up to her dad. When you look at the women in Nansun’s life, you can see where she gets her gumption from. Her aunt is a level-headed, well-traveled business woman. Her mom is a self-aware but oppressed housewife. Her grandmother is an overbearing traditionalist. All three women are resilient, if flawed. Nansun may have had a privileged upbringing, but she’s capable of facing adversity and adapting to changing circumstances. It’s also because of these three women that forced Nansun to have to think for herself.  

I think what a lot of people had issue with is how Nansun handled her father’s outstanding debts. She kept it a secret, refusing to tell anyone about it because she was afraid of burdening them. So, she took it all on herself. As a result, her aunt and her boyfriend misunderstood her and was disappointed that she would choose earning fast money over pursuing her passion. I’m still trying to figure out whether this decision makes sense for her character. Nansun justifies the decision by saying that she doesn’t want to worry and burden her loved ones like her father did. Nansun also said that telling Wang Yongzeng about her problems would just ruin his current passionate and carefree approach to life. 

But one of the reasons why she broke up with Zhang Anren was because he refused to help her in her time of need because he didn’t want to be associated with her dad’s gambling habits. You would think that after having such as a selfish and unreliable boyfriend, she would expect her next boyfriend to be more supportive and compassionate. They writers even set up WYZ to be more compassionate. When he heard the news that Nansun’s dad came to the university to ask Zhang Anren for money, he called all the way from Italy to ask if he could help. So I thought that WYZ would be more involved when Nansun encounters another problem. But no. Instead, Nansun doesn’t even give him a chance to help her because she wanted to protect him from her reality and her struggles. 

We then see a third love interest appear: Li yifan. He’s like a more genuine version of Zhang Anren. He plans everything to the T. He has a clear plan for the future. He’s reliable, dependable, and will guarantee a sense of security. He sees marriage as a contractual partnership, and romantic gestures are superficial. They’re just fantasies that you dreams about when you’re young, but they’re hollow and unsustainable. You know that if you marry him, you won’t have to worry about him being unfaithful and that you’ll always be provided for. He’s direct, transparent, to-the-point, and no nonsense. His ex-wife tells Nansun it’s important to find a man who’s is emotional calm and stable. He seems like a perfect marriage partner. I’ve seen lot of comments saying that he’s better suited for Nansun than WYZ is. 

The thing is, while you can’t go wrong if you chose Li yifan, he doesn’t offer anything that Nansun can’t provide for herself. Back in grad school, Nansun liked Zhang Anren because he pampered her, and love and attention was something that she lacked from her family at home. But now, Nansun has learned to love herself and provide for herself. She’s able to give herself a sense of security, and she no longer needs a man to provide it for her. Instead, she wants a partner who is able to emotionally and intellectually stimulate her, and WYZ can provide this. He’s able to show her a different side of life. She’s able to have fun with him. He helps her grow and draws her out of her comfort zone. 

Nansun likes WYZ not because of what he can give her, but because of who he is. That’s why even though he doesn’t help her overcome her obstacles (because she didn’t let him), she still loves him. She likes his personality, his values, his free spirit, his humour. She’s able to provide her own noodles, but he offers the spice. 

The conversation that Nansun has with her aunt also becomes important. Her aunt says that marriage is just a confirmational contract, but it’s not the foundation of a relationship. That’s why her aunt doesn’t feel a need to remarry and is perfectly happy with just dating. 

So in the voiceover during the final scene, Nansun says that she and Susuo continued to live together for the next 5-6 years, implying that she and WYZ didn’t get married. WYZ also mentioned a few episodes ago that marriage and starting a family wasn’t on his agenda. So we as the audience are left to assume that Nansun is following in her aunt’s footsteps and isn’t in a rush to get married or start a family. Just as long as she’s happy spending time with the one she loves, that’s all that matters. She’s finally broken out of her family’s traditionalist values after all and is career-driven. 

Another note is that the library scene during Nansun and WYZ’s reconciliation in the finale was pretty romantic. In fact, I thought their whole relationship arc was cute and really enjoyed seeing it unfold. The chemistry just wasn’t quite there, but most couples in this drama lacked chemistry. 

Zhu Suosuo

Suosuo had an anticlimactic character arc, but she was a pitiful character and arguably the emotional core of the drama. 

She starts off ambitious, headstrong, but naive. She’s the Cinderella character: she’s stuck in her uncle’s judgmental home, dreaming of one day moving out and having her own family and being independent and successful. She’s tricked by a man, but it’s a blessing in disguise because it also puts her on the path of entering the Jinyan company. She finds quick (but shortlived) success as a real estate agent, and gains a reputation at the company. We see her gain momentum as she climbs up the ladder, getting closer to realizing her dream. But it all stagnates when she’s re-assigned to be Jinyan’s assistant. 

She’s no longer running from client to client to try to recruit sales. Instead, she’s now stuck at the office, slowly falling in love with her boss who’s old enough to be her father. She doesn’t really do anything anymore but swoon over Ye Jinyan. And it gets cringey because she begins to assume that he likes her back and begins to act out of line, like questioning his decisions for the company and for his employees. When he scolds her for thinking too highly of herself and her influence in the company when she’s nothing more than just an assistant, she quits. 

This points to a larger problem of the drama. What kind of lesson is the drama peddling? So far, for both Nansun and Suosuo’s storylines, it seems as though the drama is saying that as long as you’re young, pretty, and have rich connections, you’ll be fine. Most of Nansun and Suosuo’s problems have been solved by someone rich (usually Ye Jinyan). It’s unrealistic how fortunate and privileged they are. They knows so many influential people who are ready and eager to help them. 

Another problem is how the drama villainizes people from the country and depicts people from the city as being morally superior. The prime example is Yuan Yuan. She’s portrayed as the greedy, scheming, love rival who wants to get in the way of all of Nansun’s relationships. At first, I was annoyed at how lazy it was to bring her back to try to steal WYZ. But on second thought, it was interesting to see how differently Nansun reacts to Yuan Yuan compared to a year ago, and how uninterested WYZ is in her compared to Zhang Anren. It shows that Nansun has matured. She’s no longer jealous of Yuan Yuan because she’s confident and secure in her relationship with WYZ, and she trusts him in a way that she couldn’t trust Zhang Anren. And that’s because WYZ’s behaviour makes him worthy of being trusted. 

Yuan Yuan’s appearance also gives Suosuo a chance to show her rage and protective side. It was really satisfying seeing Suosuo call out Yuan Yuan’s intentions. 

I lost interest in watching Suosuo’s relationship with Jinyan. By that point in the drama, Suosuo seemed to have lost her drive to further her career. So while she’s still as headstrong, outspoken, and flirty as ever, her ambitions have changed. I’m also trying to understand why Suosuo fell for Jinyan. Is it the idea of being liked by the most powerful man in the company? Is it because he’s aloof hard to get? She wants a home and family, things that he is unlikely to give. And yet, she’s drawn to him. Not Yang Ke who’s smart and not Xie hong zu who worships her. 

What’s more curious is Jinyan’s side of the relationship. At first it’s ambiguous. He cares for her, but doesn’t show it outright. You then learn that it’s because Suosuo has the exact same birthday as his daughter who committed suicide, and he still blames himself for being an absent father. So he’s trying to repent by doing his best to protect and love Suosuo, whom he treats as a stand-on for his deceased daughter. But then there are moments that make you question that line of reasoning. He reminisces the time he spends with Suosuo. He accidentally calls his secretary by her name. He drinks to try to numb the pain of her absence. He’s enraged when she quits. He cries when gets she married (and it’s not the kind of happy crying that a parent would have, but it looks like a kind of regretful crying where he turns his back to the camera, takes off his sunglasses, and blinks the tears away). Or maybe it is a kind of worried parental crying because he knows that she won’t have a happy marriage with Xie hong zhu. It’s all very hard to tell. Does he love her platonically is romantically? Maybe a bit of both. He’s probably unsure himself. 

Suosuo seemed to jump into marriage with Xie hong zhu too quickly. She admits that it’s partly out of spite from being rejected by Jinyan, but it’s also because she realizes that Xie hong zhu is probably her best choice now. Suosuo and Nansun’s lives seemed to have switched: at the beginning of the drama, Nansun was the one who dreamed of romance and marriage, while Suosuo dreamed of freedom of success. Now, Suosuo is the one who’s eager to find a romantic partner, while Nansun is trying to find a foothold in her profession. But when you think about it, that’s who’ve they been all along. Even though Suosuo said that romance is a lie and an unreliable fantasy, a part of her still hopes to find happiness with someone who truly loves her. Nansun starts off having a seemingly devoted boyfriend, so romance was never something she thought she lacked, which was why in the end, she was able to figure out what she really wanted out of her love live. My mom always tells me to find someone who loves me more than I love them. Suosuo seemed to have taken this route. I think that you should love someone because of who they are, even if they might not love you back. Nansun was lucky to have found someone she loves who loves her back. Suosuo wasn’t as lucky. 

After a long and bumpy road, Suosuo finally returned to basics and is working in sales again. But I was just disappointed at how they stunted her career growth just as she was rising. 

Nansun and Suosuo’s relationship

My initial criticism was that they weren’t really involved in each other’s lives. But that changed when Suosuo leaves her uncle’s place and is taken in by Nansun’s family. And then Nansun’s family falls into financial ruin and Suosuo takes them in her new place. And then Nansun’s father dies and her mother leaves, leaving only Nansun and her grandmother, whom Suosuo treats as her own grandmother. And they get even closer when Suosuo has a baby. So we see how they get closer and closer through all the problems they face together. But it’s obvious and predictable how devoted they are to each other. So whenever one makes a sacrifice for the other, it’s never a surprise. It’s very sweet and comforting to watch though, and the drama is worth watching for their friendship dynamic alone.

A lot of people criticize Liu Shishi’s acting, and while I also don’t find her to be a strong actor, I think she has good chemistry with Ni Ni. They balance each other out. They both have so much grace and composure. I also really like how evenly split their storylines were. Soulmate and Last Romance seemed to be biased towards the bubbly character more (i.e., Zhou dongyu and Cherrie Chung respectively), but in this drama, no lead had more screen time or priority than the other. 

The male leads

Nothing needs to be said about Chen Dao Ming. He’s untouchable. I’m not even qualified to talk about him. Dong Zi Yan did the best with the script he was given. He was childish, immature, lovesick, hurt, conflicted, remorseful. You felt sorry for him even though he was an unlikable character. Tony Yang had a flat character, so he wasn’t given much to work with, but his Taiwanese accent was distracting, and I’m not even a fluent mandarin speaker, I’m cantonese. So it must have been more annoying for native speaker. A lot of people complained about him, but I think he looks good in modern day clothes, and he fits the role of a casual, laid back, handsome architect well. He looked terrible and sleazy in The Rebel Princess though. 

Supporting characters

Fan Jin Gang, Yang ke, and Xia Qian (the aunt) are definitely people you want to have in your life. They are infinitely wise and compassionate, but very blunt. Yuan Quan definitely embodies the worldly aunt stereotype. You wish you could be her when you grow up. 

Overall, I would say that this is a good drama. Probably a 7.5/10. It’s really slow, but I didn’t skip any scenes. I started watching it for Liu Shishi and Ni Ni, and then I watched it for the relationships, and then I watched it for the conversations that the characters had. There are a lot of good life advice in this drama, and it makes you reflect on your own relationships with friends and family. It’s a thoughtful story. 

The OST was great, the cinematography tried too hard to be nostalgic, and the outfits were fashionable. When they went to “Italy” you could tell that they just chose a European-style neighbourhood in China and then put in clips from Europe.  The drama used the long, overhead drone shot that slowly pans out in the last scene of the finale. It’s such an overused shot. Off the top of my head, I remember that Lost Romance does this, and so does Ashes of Love, The Rebel Princess, and My Girlfriend is an Alien. While cheesy, I do find these drone shots pretty impressive, especially when you wonder where the rest of the crew is hiding. But I feel like this drama would have been better off ending with a montage of their lives 5 years later. After all, this is a drama about personal growth and the passage of time, so it only makes sense to see how much has changed in 5 years instead of being told in a voiceover. I know they wanted the last shot to be of Nansun and Suosuo standing together, but I think it might be more impactful to see them separated, but still staying strong despite the distance. 

I could probably go on and an about this drama. You could go into a deep dive analysis about every character. 

Ni Ni outfit appreciation:

Here are the brands of some of the outfits. 

[seungnoir]

My Current top 10 favorite Miraculous Ladybug Episodes and why (+analysis)

1. timetagger - the amount of possibilities this brings to the plot and insight is so fun. also, it’s one of the few things of writing and planning i appreciate in this series because it was hinted in the very beginning of s1 that alix’s watch was a miraculous, but now we get to see that connection. Seeing things that were hinted long ago end up having substance makes it more interesting. Also, I do thoroughly Alix as a character and loved to see her and see that she will have a bigger role in the future. This episode alone leads to so many theories and things that can be analyzed and makes it so fun - such as the idea that there is someone (besides master fu) that knows about their identities, and even further, about what happens in the future. The idea of a new hawk moth also comes to play. The akumatized villain from the future proves that there is a hawk moth in the future, but that it isn’t gabriel agreste. This brings into question of what happened to Gabriel and the current Hawk Moth? How did someone else of ill-intention end up the miraculous after hawk moth? Who is this new Hawk Moth? This brings so many theories and possibilities to where the show is heading. We also see chat noir and ladybug do still exist in the future as adults. We can only wonder and theorize about how theyve developed between present and future, though. Another small detail at the end that was interesting is i’m pretty sure chat broke the fourth wall?? At the end of the episode, chat is talking to ladybug and about what alix said about the future as they walk away, and started saying “maybe in the future you might even agree to see a movie with me. Hey, what if it was in the very near future? Like, the next show...”

2. sandboy - there are many reasons i enjoy this episode. first, i love the kwamis and i love learning more about them and having some focus on them. We learned more about background and history of the kwamis as well as see more than we had before. In addition, I think it brought good development to character, particularly for adrien/chat noir. Marinette’s and ladybug’s biggest nightmares weren’t too much of a surprise, and neither was adrien and chat noir’s when you think about it but foes bring more insight to him as a character and helps set up ideas for his character and things later. As adrien, his biggest nightmare was being trapped and cornered, obviously a result of how he’s treated by his father. While adrien tends to always seem chill and nice around people and like everything’s always fine, it shows there’s more we don’t see. Then, as chat noir, his biggest nightmare was that ladybug hated him. It was important to show how much chat noir really cares about his relationship with her, and not just romantically. It shows us this not only as a watcher, but so that ladybug sees too. This sets up well for the ny special, where ladybug gets upset with chat and says she can’t trust him. While not exactly like his nightmare where she despises him, it is parallel to his literal biggest nightmare and shows why he reacted the way he did and shows just how much ladybug saying that would affect him. I also very thoroughly enjoy the moment where adrien sees the sock plagg left when he sneaked out and he went “Plagg! who turned you into a sock!” i think i find it funnier than i should. 

3. heroes day p2 - not to be a ladynoir stan but that’s a big reason i enjoy this episode. When the other heroes they recruited fall, Ladybug gets worried and begins to lose hope. This isn’t very common for her, but it shows she’s not some perfect hero, she has times where she has doubts. However, chat noir was right there for her. He was able to encourage her and get her back into the spirit. I think this is important to show their relationship without thinking about it in a romantic way. It shows chat noirs full trust in ladybug, and how even if ladybug doesn’t always express it, it shows how she does appreciate and trust chat noir and that he is able to help her when she’s down, it’s a balance. Also, when chat noir is encouraging ladybug, one thing he says “let’s go back to what always worked - you and me against the world, m’lady.” In my eyes, this reinforces the “soulmate” idea and the importance of the two. Don’t get me wrong, I love the other heroes and miraculouses being used, and maybe its just me, but I think it’s important that despite the other heroes being helpful, chat noir and ladybug are the core, and that reinforces that. Also I honestly love that adrien was detransformed at the time of saying that line. In addition to ladynoir, there’s the plot and villain progression of hawk moth and nathalie, which sparks the plot to really start picking up after this event. 

4. reverser - I love marc a lot, i relate to his character a lot so i enjoyed having him and I wish we had more outside of this episode. There are also other fun characters we get to see that we don’t see as much (Alex and nathaniel). I also like the akumartizaion set up, i think it’s a very realistic situation in which misunderstanding takes over and there’s no specific person to blame, and i appreciate the demonstration of that. Not to be a chat noir stan, but him being a “scaredy cat” after getting hit by the reverser was so cute and funny and i enjoyed that. Again, back to the other characters, as i mentioned before i like alix a lot. i enjoyed her mocking chloe in the episode and then not caring when the teacher tried to say she should be nice. and then i liked the moment she scared chat noir. and then i enjoyed seeing her role in helping the duo in defeating reverser. also, there was a moment on the beginning of the episode where adrien teased marinette and any moment where adriens chat noir side comes out is my favorite. in conclusion, i love seeing the characters we see in this episode and chat noir was cute. 

5. puppeteer 2 - as much as the wax statue scene gives me the worst second hand embarrassment of my entire life, the episode gave us a clearer insight to adriens perspective on his relation with marinette, which i enjoyed, and made me like him as a character even more. while i love a good “she’s just a friend” joke, it is confirmed in this episode he’s genuinely oblivious - which he shouldn’t be perceived as dumb for. social cues are harder for some people and can cause problems but it’s not smth people can help, we also have to remember he has very limited experience with people. anyway, it gives us that insight and i believe it’s important. he even expressed acknowledgment of how he doesn’t pick these things up sometimes. so he interpreted marinettes reaction wrong, and he believed marinette even didn’t like him. it distressed him so much to think that was the case. this was the insight we needed to see how adrien perceives their relationship and how much it really developed. even if he doesn’t have a crush on her, it introduces the idea that he still genuinely cares about her and having a relationship with her - parallel to us seeing ladybug see that with chat, which i believe is very important for the development of lovesquare and the plot. not to mention the frusturation of dramatic irony at the end when adrien, seemingly for the first time we’ve seen him as adrien, mention to someone else how he DOES love someone. while painful for marinette, i do think it’s interested because i don’t even think he’s mentioned the fact he loves someone to nino, showing how he still considers marinette as someone he can be close too. 

6. ikari gozen - I love Kagami and I appreciated this kind of redemption arc. I wasn’t sure how I felt about her at first, but after this episode she’s one of the most relatable characters, personally. In turn, it also helps Marinette learn a good lesson. So yeah, the main reason i enjoy this episode is Kagami’s character development and her character. Ryuko is also so cool.

7. kwamibuster - i mentioned this before but i love the kwamis a lot and i love getting to see them in episodes. in this episode we got to see not only interactions between plagg and tikki, but get a chance to meet other kwamis and see their miraculous jewelry and some of their abilities. we also see that marinette and adrien are not incapable of connecting dots, realizing both plagg and tikki were in the same school. however, plagg and tikki try to reason them out of it and they both did things to throw the other of their track, so they didn’t keep their theories - but it does show they’re not Completely Oblivious. 

8. troublemaker - there’s a lot of small things and moments that make me appreciate this episode rather than one big thing. to start, i enjoy penny’s character a lot and this is one the few episodes we really get to see her and the only one where we get focus on her. in addition, she was a good villain and arguably the closest a villain got to taking ladybug’s miraculous, taking an earring. then theres marinettes adrien photo collection being exposed, and adriens facial expressions in reaction to it made me laugh. and then of course, the scene following the fight, adrien talks to marinette. one noticeable thing is that marinette didnt stutter as much as she had and got out full thoughts. good for her ! and it shows that she is slowly beginning to be more comfortable with him. then of course, adrien. he starts by asking if she was okay since the fight happened at her house (even though he was literally there and knows damn well marinette wasn’t even there, kinda anyway). and then, as i mentioned before, my favorite thing ever is adriens chat noir side coming out, which is exactly what happened. he teased marinette for the photos, both asking if she was lying and then the “even in the most unlikely places” line. the thing about this is that this is something we barely see happen with adrien as adrien, yet it happened with marinette, which shows he’s comfortable enough with her to do that. and then of course the sincere moment of him saying he’s glad she’s her fan, he’s just so sweet good for him i love him. 

9. origins - a classic. provides us background we needed on how things start and characters meant. there’s so much things to take from origins about their characters and the story in general. for one, marinette not even wanting to be ladybug. i feel this fit her character and was more realistic than if she accepted it right away. and then her being a bit of a mess the first time and not even capturing the akuma. i think that was important; to show ladybug and marinette are not perfect, but that’s what makes her a better and more relatable character. it wouldn’t be fun if she were perfect from the beginning. and then chat noir, who was a lot less reluctant. in contrast to marinette. he had been isolated his whole life and forced to try to fit a perfect mold. this gave him not only physical freedom he always desired but also the personal freedom to be able to be who he wanted. it of course also shows the balance of the two heroes. ladybug was nervous and had no hope at the beginning, but was able to get though with chat noirs encouragement - which is something that comes up every so often, but shows their balance and dynamic. and then of course . the umbrella scene. one of the most iconic moments, and also one thing i’ve noted is that we barely ever seeadrien laugh like he did in that scene, and it makes me treasure that moment more. and despite the whole “she’s just a friend” thing, it was important in that moment and you can see how important it is to him that he has a friend, and probably establishes the trust and appreciation for marinette we see as the show progresses as she was very important to him being kind of his first friend and that it holds a different kind of importance to him. 

10. glaciator - an iconic episode of course. while marichat is probably my least favorite in terms of love square ships, i think marichat moments are some of the best. i think it’s where the two are more showing themselves to each other than in any other way. chat gets to see truly marinette in which she isn’t a nervous mess and is actually acting like herself, and marinette gets to see chat has more to him than she saw previously as ladybug. with his constant flirting and joking with her, it seemed that she interpreted this as this is just his personality and it didn’t mean much, that maybe he acted the same with anyone. but with the interactions of this episode, she learns that’s not the case, he genuinely and truly loves and cares and about ladybug, it was more than just joking around. this realization is big for marinette and she even comments that she misjudged him. this episode allows eachother to rlly learn more about eachother. and then it helps ladybug be honest. she’s completely honest with chat after that, saying there’s someone else and she doesn’t want to lead him on, but that sets the stage for them to still grow on their platonic relationship, which is still important. ladybug for the seemingly first time directly tells chat how he’s important to her, and chat admits that his friendship with her is the most important thing to him, showing us more about adrien/chats character, as well as demonstrates despite his love for ladybug the platonic relationship still holds great importance with seems to contrast how marinette views adrien at this moment. 

honorable mentions: 

reflekdoll - this was almost in the top 10 but i changed it last minute. i appreciate learning more about juleka and hope we get more to grown on that later. and not to be an adrien stan but he looked really pretty with his outfit for marinettes shoot. one thing i feel is also important to notice is how easily he was willing to take off his miraculous for the sake of marinettes shoot. he didn’t even really hesitate? that wasn’t really surprising for marinette to do, but for adrien it again represents a small thing that shows he really appreciates and cares about her (whether it’s romantic or not). the concept of them switching miraculouses were also fun, and seeing a little bit of tikki and plagg interactions again. the reason that it didn’t end up in the top 10 was because i think the execution of their miraculous switch should’ve been done much better. i feel like the writing made chat look dumber than he is and made ladybug look more bossy than she is. while i feel part of this was meant to demonstrate they’re truly made for their own miraculous, it could’ve been demonstrated without making the character look worse. 

startrain - i don’t mean to be basic but the adrinette in this episode was super cute. however that’s not the only reason this episode stood out. hawk moth rlly sent his own son into space, u know as one does. and then the irony of him saying “how ironic i have to depend on my enemies (ladybug and chat noir) to save my son” like if you think that’s ironic then… but anyway . i also enjoyed seeing more max in the episode. his transformation is fun and i think we deserved a max based episode where he (or markov) didn’t have to get akumatized. also i feel like in the beginning of the episode, i like how adrien flat out decided to go to london without even asking his dad. i think he’s slowly stopping to care so much about his fathers rules and realizing what he needs for himself and this shows that. 

[happymetalgirl]

Rating Christmas Songs

Yep, it’s that time of year we get inundated wherever we go with mostly shitty Christmas music, usually the same stuff as the years before and the many years before. There are some songs among the barren crop of overplayed tunes that I think are pretty enjoyable, but for the most part I feel pretty confident that most of us are just putting up with the vast majority of the holiday playlist (I mean no one is dying to play any of these songs any other time of year, so they can’t be that great), so it’s time to set the record straight.

Here’s a rating of a few of the season’s musical staples and some brief reasons behind them. I’m sure I’m missing a few classics, but do feel free to bring them up and I will offer my thoughts on them. Granted these songs all have dozens, of not hundreds or thousands of versions, so I’m kind of going by an average of what I generally hear, not the dubstep remix version or even my favorite version necessarily.

-

“Jingle Bells”

The classic, easy to sing, easy to play on whatever instrument, upbeat childhood Christmas song. It’s hard to mess this one up, and I’m just glad it’s not trying to get all overly serious about Christmas as many of the songs further down this list do. But I mean, it’s fucking “Jingle Bells”, who actually gives a shit about this plinky-ass song.

5/10

“O Holy Night”

This one’s cool the first several years you hear it because it sounds pretty grand and epic, but it does wear off after awhile. Still, I’d rather hear this song than most, and I’ve yet to hear it truly butchered. So cheers to that!

7/10

“Jingle Bell Rock”

The failed swaggering “update” or cousin of the classic children’s Christmas song, it’s one of those songs that sounds like a bunch of upper class white folks sipping wine and putting on the usual façade of in-person Facebook-style humble bragging and life-highlighting about their year for the family they’ve not flexed on all year or since Thanksgiving. The song though is so drab and seemingly intentional sucked of lol the fun the kid’s song had, and in its place is just overly drolly Sinatra-imitation with no spirit at all. It’s the definition of background music, and it’s for the worst kind of background. Dancing to it sure as hell sucks. If you’re hearing this song, you’re probably not having as much fun as you’re supposed to be for a song that’s supposedly more “rock”.

2/10

"O Tanenbaum"

While his semi-jazzed-up approach that characterizes the rest of the soundtrack still seeps into this song, I’ve always loved the more stripped back piano-centric approach that Vince Guaraldi takes with this song on the classic A Charlie Brown Christmas soundtrack. The simple and sweet lullaby-esque melody at the core of the song really works well with the instrumentally minimal approach (which I do hear most often) and it evokes a sense of very sweet nostalgia (for me at least), and I can’t not like it.

9/10

“Angels We Have Heard on High”

You know I’ve heard some pretty alright versions of this song when it’s pushed toward its more energetic side. That over the top run on “glOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoria” tends to be the make-or-make moment of the song, and when a singer or choir commits to it and goes all out, it can sound pretty rad; I’m sure some power metal band somewhere out there has put a decent spin on it. The rigid, traditional delivery I hear more often, though, sadly sounds more often like it’s had the life sucked out of it.

7/10

“Silent Night”

Probably my favorite of the soft Christmas songs, just soulful melodies abound here and written in a way that hasn’t encouraged too many stupid renditions.

9/10

“Santa Baby”

This song is just fuckin’ weird, and I get the place of romance it’s coming from lyrically: finally dropping the charade of Santa Claus and being romantic with the speaker’s husband after putting on the act for the children. It’s cute and endearing, but god is it always so weirdly sung, in a hyperseductive baby voice, not subtle at all, and kind of not fitting with the kind of sweet endearing romanctic tone you would think it’d be carrying if you just read the lyrics. There are definitely worse Christmas/holiday romance songs, and I can definitely imagine this song being performed more sweetly than it usually is.

6/10

“Hark! the Herald Angels Sing!”

This. Song. Is. A. Banger. Glorious and triumphant as shit! It sounds good slow and fast, but definitely best when it’s played bold and loud, as opposed to some contrived-ass attempt at a ballad. This song feels like finishing a marathon. I’d pay to hear Khemmis do this fuckin’ song.

10/10

“Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”

Sinatra’s version of the song is probably the most famous at this point, and as a consequence, the very title I think tends to invoke his signature smooth delivery on its own. I used to hate this one, but these days I find its naturally soothing character much more welcoming, god, especially this year. I can see why some find it to droll and sloggy, but I think it’s a nice wind-down tune.

7/10

“Last Christmas”

You know, the original synth-pop version by Wham! isn’t too bad on its own; George Michael’s delivery is pretty heartfelt and I can see why it’s become such modern Christmas staple. However, in the context of Christmas background music, that repetitive chorus refrain that seems to be the only lyric anyone knows in the song, gets really grating when it’s the only thing that sticks out, the more scaled-back delivery of the verses aiding their being buried in the chatter with your eggnog-sipping relatives. Furthermore, I’ve yet to hear a cover of the song less dry than sandpaper. Positive points to the original only.

6/10

“Away in a Manger”

This song certainly gets points for its strong narrative consistency, but aside from the “the stars in the sky” line, the melody is really really lame, and infantile in a bad way, and I have yet to hear a version that doesn’t sound like it was done by or similar to an apathetic children’s choir. It’s that quintessential song that every church kindergarten choir gets forced to sing because it’s nice and slow and narrow-range that all the kids look absolutely braindead singing. Not that it’s ever the kids’ fault or anything, it’s just a boring-ass song whose weak-ass strategy hinges on a bunch of 5-year-olds getting into something they clearly don’t give a shit about.

4/10

“The Little Drummer Boy”

You know, I could envision a slow-building post-rock-esque version of this song being pretty cool, but to date, all I have heard is stiff corny solo vocal delivery a la Angela from The Office and haphazard attempts at injecting tons of energy into the song that don’t really fix the kooky melody at the core of it. I swear you can always hear whoever is singing it getting red in the face from the needless intensity.

3/10

"Christmas Time Is Here"

Another solid cut from the soundtrack to A Charlie Brown Christmas, its rather simple instrumental foundation serves as a pretty solid introductory piece for the season; it feels so much like welcoming in the winter. And then of course the jazz embellishments on the instrumental version are some of the best in the Christmas genre, though listening to the soundtrack these days makes me wonder what it would be like if a more bombastic and dynamic jazz band took these songs on a more wild ride. I would love to hear that.

8/10

“Joy to the World”

It’s a little bit cheesy, but I kinda appreciate how ridiculously celebratory this tune is. It’s another one that I think would be interesting to hear Khemmis do a quick cover of, despite the religious theme that doesn’t really fit into their style. At the very least, it always sounds fun or, indeed, joyous.

7/10

“We Three Kings”

I’m not convinced anyone cares about this song.

5/10

“The First Noel”

This is another one of those songs whose runny melody tends to lead to it being delivered so often way too seriously, never really all too fun or worthy of the seriousness either.

3/10

“O Come, O Come Emanuel”

This is another one of those songs that, on the surface, seems more genuine with its minor key and often stoic delivery, and that definitely makes it better than the vast majority of Christmas songs, but the melody and lyrics are a bit oddly mismatched, and the melody that serves as the key appeal in the song does wear thin as the years go on. Nevertheless, I always do seem to find a cool new version ever year or two.

7/10

“Do You Hear What I Hear?”

Goddamn this is such a goofy-ass song. Who the hell made this? I cannot take it seriously. One point for all the kids for the apt “do you smell what I smell?”

1/10

“Mary Did You Know?”

Again, who wrote these lyrics? Like, in the story Mary made up to explain her out-of-wedlock pregnancy, that was kind of the main thing, that this kid would do some crazy shit. I can’t take this song seriously either, especially when it gets the goofy overly operatic treatment.

3/10

“Santa Claus Is Coming to Town”

It’s another one of those songs that literally just says what Santa Claus does. Musically it’s catchy-ish, but I mean it’s about Santa Claus, and it’s so often sung in that overly serious, toned down Motown style that no kid likes. I never liked hearing it then, and I don’t now.

3/10

“12 Days of Christmas”

Structurally iconic, this song really doesn’t offer anything beyond that; have you ever tried listening to someone doing the whole thing? It gets old really fast, and the fact that the “halfway” point in the song, the six geese a-laying, isn’t actually the halfway point, because the verses get longer and longer... fuck! The only thing this song is good for is for structuring workouts around, nothing regarding listening to the song. It gets one point for its utility.

1/10

“It Came upon a Midnight Clear”

We really are in a stretch of trash Christmas songs right now. I don’t think this is anyone’s favorite Christmas song. It’s so lethargic and sleep-inducing, I’m falling asleep just thinking about it.

3/10

“We Wish You a Merry Christmas”

Eh, it’s kinda not a really important song. At least it wakes you up, but apart from throwing some energy into the Christmas playlist that many are often desperate for, it’s just a cheery addition of holiday-themed white noise.

4/10

“What Child Is This?”

Finally some good fucking food. I’ve heard some baller versions of this captivatingly grand song, whose accidentals and minor key really make it one of the more interesting listens during the holiday season. I would dig an Opeth cover or a Pallbearer cover, or... a Khemmis cover.

8/10

“Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!”

This is just one of those standard, old-timey, inoffensive season-themers. It’s alright, I’ve never heard any version of it that really blows my mind.

5/10

“Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree”

This one is almost indistinguishable from, but significantly less annoying than, “Jingle Bell Rock” and is similarly stiff in a way that it’s clearly not meant to be.

3/10

“White Christmas”

This might take the cake for the sleepiest Christmas song out there. It is SLOW, like Bell Witch should ironically do a 20-minute-long cover of it just to see how it goes.

4/10

“It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year”

The shopping mall theme song. It’s always given that Sinatra treatment and it only barely fits well enough into that style.

4/10

“Feliz Navidad”

This one always feels like it needs to be sung with a big, cheerful group to capture the liveliness that its main appeal is based in, which puts it at a distinct disadvantage this year. Still, it’s always a fun, sometimes even bouncy song to play during the holiday season.

7/10

“Grandma Got Run over by a Reindeer”

I do actually welcome the absurd narrative that has somehow made itself one of the season’s ironic staples, and its slightly dark humor makes for a nice change of pace in the playlist with its upbeat, campy humor.

6/10

“Deck the Halls”

Fa la la la la, la la la no.

Annoying as fuck: 2/10

“Frosty the Snowman”

God, this song should be way more cheery and kid-friendly than it is. I mean, I’m sure kids don’t mind it, but it’s just yet ANOTHER one of those songs that can’t escape its old-timey suit-and-tie incarnation for the liveliness it desperately needs.

4/10

“God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen”

One of the more compositionally clunky of the well-known minor-key Christmas songs, this one unfortunately tends to show why minor-key songs are generally a weird fit for theme. I have heard a good few modern renditions though that make the song worth keeping around.

6/10

“Jingle in the Jungle”

This one’s for the real ones out there. “Jingle in the Jungle” is not a real Christmas song per se, but it pushes the boundaries; it’s courageous. The song comes from the television series, Bob’s Burgers, in a stressful Christmas-themed episode where the musically adventurous son of the titular character, Gene, burns out his dad’s cell phone battery waiting on hold for a radio station to request this song. The phone dies and he does not get the chance to request the song, but a Christmas miracle occurs, and the station decides to play the obscure, bongo-laden song anyway, and it sure is a fun minute-long diddy.

8/10

“Wonderful Christmastime”

Paul McCartney’s peppy Christmas tune that only kinda accomplishes its light-hearted goal is simply one of many throwaway inoffensive modern Christmas songs that seems to have only gained cultural traction due to it being repetitive and simplistic af, and being made by a Beatle.

5/10

“Happy Xmas (War Is Over)”

Well it would only make sense to have the battle of the Beatles here with John Lennon’s standout Christmas track, a far more soulful, bombastic, and triumphant song that echoed his idealistic spirit in a way that makes this song not all too different from his standout solo works and compositions with The Beatles. It’s a warm, hopeful song that draws from a grounding in the harshness of reality rather than some escapist fantasies about Santa or religion. Despite the acknowledgement of the ills of the world, Lennon’s vision of Christmas and his wish for the world is a day of recognition of love and unity, which is purer than 99% of the dogmatic or materialistic Christmas music above, and definitely the song right below this one.

9/10

“The Christmas Shoes”

Alright, rubbing the hands together, we’re coming to the end here, with this fucking song. It’s not the most famous Christmas song, thank God, but when I heard it for the first time, I was immediately repelled by the saccharine melody, uncannily blank-faced delivery, and sappy lyrics, but it’s one of those special songs that gradually reveals several layers of shit the more you fixate on it. For the uninitiated, the song came out in the year 2000, from the Christian band NewSong; it’s an aggressively sentimental holiday ballad with a bit of pop country vocal flair that only adds to the sinister hokey-ness of the lyrics. And that really is the ugliest facet of this song; as sickeningly cheesy as the music is, the simple lyrics here are more morbid and more disgusting than the grossest brutal death metal songs. The song is a simple narrative about a poor boy buying his sick mom some nice shoes on Christmas Eve so she can look nice for Jesus when she dies, tonight, on Christmas Eve. Yeah, it’s fucking sickening. The song is narrated from the perspective of a man in the store when the boy is buying the shoes and the narrator offers to buy the shoes for him, and he muses vaguely and confusingly on his generosity and Jesus being the “true” meaning of Christmas. Yes, there are so many questions being begged by this narrative. Why would Jesus give a shit about the shoes? Why is getting shoes this divine Christmas gesture? How do these shoes even come close to offsetting the pain and suffering and loss this family is suffering. This is like the opposite of John Lennon’s “Happy Xmas” in that it’s offering a pathetic consolation for the cruelty of a world where a loving God apparently offers only a stranger’s mild and momentary generous gesture for a poor family in the thralls of a mother’s illness. It’s grounded in the same reality that John Lennon presents, but it whitewashes it and minimizes the suffering in a manipulative way to shoehorn a rather cliche reminder to adhere to religious dogma and to keep your mind pure and holy and only on Jesus. A plain-faced telling of the narrative on its own makes it seem kind of benign, but the weirdly sappy tone of it all does a pretty poor job of hiding how contrived the emotion is and how unnatural it all is. Every facet of the lyrics is crafted to maximize the superficial primal tug at the heartstrings; it’s supposed to feel extremely tender and sweet, and aside from being completely transparently manufactured, the response it delivers to the story it sets up is creepily unhuman, the opposite of a natural response to the details of what the song presents, and its misplaced sense of justice makes the song a pretty apt representation of so much wrong with evangelicals’ attitudes surrounding Christmas.

0/10

“All I Want for Christmas Is You”

by Mariah Carrey. Ending on a positive note. Probably the best and most classic modern Christmas song to come out in my lifetime, it’s a sweet, romantic, upbeat love tune that really captures the best aspects of the holiday season. Never mind the relatives and their dumb political views and drama or the religious nonsense that people get so disingenuously up in arms about, or the consumerism. Christmas at its best is a time to appreciate love, and this song gets it.

9/10

And that is it, for me, I obviously know I will never be able to rate every Christmas/holiday song ever.

I had some time, so I had a little fun and charted the 38 semi-serious ratings of Christmas songs here, which I will also be doing with the 200-something metal albums I’ve been reviewing and now rating at the end of the year. Should be interesting. Now 38 isn’t a particularly huge sample of the huge swath of Christmas songs, nor was it random (I just listed a bunch of songs I was familiar with). It didn’t produce the normal curve I somewhat expect for the larger sample of metal albums later at the end of the year; rather, it shows a two-peak pattern, which could be due to the sample size, or maybe it just illustrates a somewhat unsurprising polarized sample of opinions on Christmas songs. The songs that I remember that are (mostly) pretty common, I either really like or really don’t like, most of the songs are not in the middle. These were songs I have heard for a long time and remembered pretty vividly, so I’ve developed some relatively strong opinions on them. Anyway, look at this graaaaaaphh.

[lady-plantagenet]

Unsolicited Book Reviews (n1): Crown in the Candlelight

Rating:

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Even before I had an account, I tended to go to tumblr to see people’s opinions before buying a histfic. Certain books are either severely underrepresented, where I feel like there needs to be something on them, whereas others, though talked about enough, something more can still be said about them. So for my quarantine fun, I have decided to start a series where I review every medieval historical fiction novel I read. Hopefully, it will either start interesting discussions or at least be some help for those browsing its tag when considering purchasing it.

TL;DR: A true historical fiction novel, written in the old tradition, where the essence of the time period is properly conveyed. Not entirely accurate plot-wise, yet still overall of historical and intellectual value. Characterisation unclichéd and profound. An absolute must-read. Will be reading more from this author. One of my all-time fav histfics.

Plot: It may seem like a historical romance about Catherine of Valois and Owen Tudor, but here the two do not meet until well into the second half. The story is divided likeso: Catherine’s childhood, Owen Tudor just pre-Agincourt, Henry V in Agincourt and up to his marriage, Catherine again and up to Henry’s death, Humphrey Duke of Gloucester during the regency and then it starts becoming dispersed.

Note also that it is written in third person omniscient, so the focus shifts loads even within one vantage point. Not an easy thing to achieve, but ideal when you can masterfully pull it off like Jarman did.

Having said that, a mutual has pointed out a lot of innacuracies e.g. the way Humphrey of Gloucester and Eleanor Cobham were portrayed (something even I later noticed when I got to them), Catherine being with Henry when he died, Charles of Orleans being aged up, Henry VI being present at Joan of Arc’s burning etc. So don’t use this book as a history one.

Characterisation: Incredible. This author wrote in a time when fakefeminism was not en vogue, so she doesn’t shrink away from portraying Catherine of Valois as a woman very dependent on affection from others. Although, at no point did I find her pathetic for it. She is strong in some ways but perhaps more by way of the inadvertent influence she has on others, rather than any internal fortitude, she may have. Her intelligence is often very clear as she can see through a lot of people’s facades e.g. Jacqueline of Hainault.

Owen Tudor is also another incredibly well-written one. His mastery at dance and music (unproven historically) is well jux-ta-posed with a lot of typically masculine traits that a man of that time and class would exhibit e.g. violent urges and heroism. Speaking of, the author did a brilliant job at differentiating him from Henry V, who could easily have been a clone voice-wise, as he also had (in historical canon) a love for music, chivalry and admiration for Catherine. Yet the two men are as different as night and day, with the prose being adapted to each and the dialogue too, as such: to reflect Henry V’s greater Englishness, conventional piety and rationalism and Owen’s more mystical Welsh nature and boyish views on chivalry. Yet they both have incredible depth and I appreciate the author not pitting one against the other (a cheap technique that loads of authors use to make their favourite figure seem great by creating a massive comparison gradient).

Having said that, Humphrey of Gloucester’s villainy sat strangely, but then again he is not the only one-sided character. Catherine’s mother Isabeau is also portrayed as rotten to the core whereas Isabelle, her sister, is all good (though it is made clear that this is owed massively to Catherine’s idealisation of her). Overall it did not bother me too much because...

The Prose: Jesus, where do I even start? I am a person who grew up with the classics, yet the writing here has left me in shock. To say that the prose is lyrical and poetic would be an understatement, it is truly a work of art. It flows incredibly well and her choice of words truly brings out the medieval essence - genuinely no other author has as successfully transported me back to the 15th century like this one. Examples of the most poignant scenes include Henry V’s death, Hywelis’ (an original character) aging as she talks with the spirits, Catherine going to Blois to find Isabelle had died... You may raise your eyebrows at that magic element and think it’s handled along the lines of The White Queen. Trust me it is not, on the face of it, this novel has many problematic aspects which may make one think hmm evil Humphrey and Eleanor.. Wales being made magical... Witchcraft... a quasi-rape scene... I’ll pass. Well somehow the quality of the writing redeems this completely, there is nuance in every sentence, hundreds of faces hidden behind every choice of words, beauty in every phrase and detail. However, that is not to say this novel has some deeper meaning eg ‘war is wrong’, it focuses entirely on the characters and the situations; the emotions behind. That is probably the one thing that stops it from ever becoming a classic, but I genuinely don’t think the author cared. It is somewhat humbling that the author never had great dreams for her writing and just wrote from the heart, trying to do some of our favourite historical figures justice.

[aion-rsa]

The 25 Best SNL Holiday Sketches

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The holidays are a special time around 30 Rock. While tourists flock to see the towering Christmas tree, the Saturday Night Live writers room is busy thinking of holiday sketches you’ll reminisce about as you put up the stockings for years to come. Some of SNL’s all-time great sketches illustrate the best of the holiday spirit or lack thereof as show’s biggest stars often shined the brightest just before the New Year. 

From unlikely Santas to unorthodox gift-giving, we’re looking at 25 of our favorite Saturday Night Live holiday sketches. We’ll be going in chronological order here. There is a big dose of modern stuff in there, but what can I say? The show might be more miss than hit these days, but they really hit it out of the park year after year with the Christmas sketches.

Santi-Wrap (1976)

Very early in the show’s run, we get this classic where an adult woman (Laraine Newman) is all about sitting on Santa’s lap like when she was a little kid. The initial laugh is that before sitting down, she puts pieces of toilet paper on Santa’s leg for protection, like one would do in a public bathroom. Dan Aykroyd, her companion on this trip, seems shocked by this. Not that she’s trying to protect herself from germs, but because she’s not going far enough!

Suddenly, it turns out to be a commercial for Santi-Wrap, a festive and plasticky take on toilet seat covers. Not only do those two sell the product concept so well, but John Belushi as the mall Santa pushes it further by coming off as a complete disaster of a man who is probably riddled with disease.

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One of the show’s all-time best line deliveries is Belushi’s drunken, “Ho ho ho…” which has both defiant gusto and the sense that he’s seconds away from vomiting all over himself.

Mr. Robinson’s Christmas (1984)

Saturday Night Live has been a stepping stone to superstardom ever since Chevy Chase became a household name during its first season. In the 80s, Eddie Murphy’s recurring roles on SNL helped raise his profile as he eventually became one of, if not the biggest star of the decade. It was around Christmas time when Murphy’s spin on Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood became one of the sketches that came to define his tenure at Studio 8H.

Mr. Robinson’s neighborhood isn’t quite as nice as Mister Rogers’ but at Christmas time you have to make the best with what you have. Mr. Robinson was able to do that with a chunk of lettuce and a headless doll and Murphy was able to make the most of every opportunity he had on SNL.

It’s a Wonderful Life: The Lost Ending (1986)

If you’ve seen the 1946 American Christmas classic It’s A Wonderful Life, odds are you’ve been inspired by its heart-warming ending. Thanks to SNL and host William Shatner, we now have footage of the “fabled” lost ending to Frank Capra’s Christmas epic and it’s anything but heartwarming. Rather than end the film with everyone coming to George Bailey’s aid in his time of need and celebrating his lifetime of selflessness and kindness, it decides to give Mr. Potter a fate more explicit than being doomed to failure and loneliness. Phil Hartman pops in as Uncle Billy and not only remembers what happened to the missing money, but knows exactly who has it!

Dana Carvey makes the sketch as a George Bailey hell-bent on revenge. It just wouldn’t be Christmas without seeing him give Mr. Potter a beat down alongside his bloodthirsty loved ones.

Master Thespian Plays Santa Claus (1987)

Jon Lovitz’s characters were usually very hammy by design. Whether he was a pathological liar or the Devil himself, he always went to 11. One of his better recurring characters was Master Thespian, a scene-chewing Shakespearean actor who takes himself and his roles far too seriously.

In this installment, he would be playing the role of a mall Santa Claus.

Thespian doesn’t seem to have heard of Santa, but he’s down for the part. Finding out that there’s no actual script, he improvises and figures out the character via making mistakes and getting scolded by the Macy’s manager (played by Phil Hartman, choosing to base his performance on Frank Nelson because why not). To his surprise, Santa Claus actually LIKES children! These are notes a performer needs to know, man!

Seeing him play off the kids and Hartman is a blast. Speaking of which, one of the better gags is a fart joke that somehow proves how great an actor Master Thespian truly is. THANK YOUUUUUU!

Hanukkah Harry (1989)

Santa Claus (Phil Hartman) is violently ill with the flu, so it seems Christmas might be cancelled. Luckily, there is one man capable of fulfilling his obligations through the same kind of holiday magic. Hanukkah Harry (Jon Lovitz), Santa’s Jewish counterpart, is called in to help.

At its core, it’s a lengthy sketch about Jewish jokes and how lame Hanukkah is outside of it lasting eight days. Springing off of that, it actually makes for a really good, if a little touching, holiday story. There are definite laughs in there, but what was created to be a parody hits a little too close and becomes a genuine gem celebrating both holidays and the spirit of togetherness.

“On Moishe! On Herschel! On Schlomo!”

Motivational Santa (1993)

What started as a pep talk for troubled teens turned into Chris Farley’s iconic recurring character. Matt Foley, the thrice-divorced, sweaty, overweight man who lived in a van down by the river, crashed into our living rooms in 1993 and remained a fixture on SNL until Farley was fired from the show in 1995.

Sometimes a sketch is so successful that the writers are almost forced to bring one or more of its characters around again and Matt Foley was no exception. In one of the funnier times Matt Foley returned, he was hired to spread Christmas cheer as a motivational mall Santa, offering up this gem:

“‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the van Your ol’ buddy Matt fell asleep on the can. His children were nestled two time zones away, With his first wife and her husband, in sunny L.A. Matt woke up and realized with a chill and a quiver That he was living in a van down by the river!“

Though many of the same jokes and physical gags are recycled, Farley’s effort, from the painfully high pitch of his voice to crashing down the chimney, earns the Motivational Santa a place in SNL Christmas lore. 

Adam Sandler’s Hanukkah Song (1994)

Yes, we’ve heard Adam Sandler’s “The Hanukkah Song” a million times over, but we shouldn’t let that cloud our judgement. It’s one of the first clips that pops into your head when you think “SNL Holiday Sketches” and it will go down as a landmark moment when the history of “Weekend Update” is written 200 years from now. Sandler didn’t use his time to evoke images of being a Jew at Christmas, rather he chose to praise the Festival of Lights and name-drop all the famous people who celebrate it. Since debuting the song in 1994, Sandler’s updated it for his comedy albums and standup routine and given Jewish kids something other than “The Dreidel Song” to belt during during the holidays. Sandler’s clever, original moment is about as influential as it gets for any not-ready-for-prime time player.

It did lead to the movie Eight Crazy Nights, so it isn’t free from sin.

TV Funhouse: Fun with Real Audio (1997)

It’s rare for SNL to get poignant, but here’s a fantastic example. In this animated short, Jesus Christ returns to Earth and spends the first opening minutes being ignored and shoved into the background for disagreeing with televangelists who use his name to line their pockets with donations or to justify their hatred of homosexuals. These bits are, of course, animated over actual audio of said real life sociopaths. Jesus is able to give them their just desserts with his divine magic, but it bums him out.

Walking the city streets, unnoticed by the public at large, Jesus watches Christmas-themed TV through a store window and is disappointed with what he sees. That is, until he comes across Linus’ speech at the end of A Charlie Brown Christmas and we get a final moment that’s adorable, uplifting, and pretty hilarious.

NPR’S Delicious Dish: Schweddy Balls (1998)

The dry, NPR-host banter between Ana Gasteyer’s Margaret Jo McCullen — who cheerfully admits that she leaves tap water and rice out for Santa because “Christmas foods really wreak havoc on the ol’ digestive system” — and Molly Shannon’s Teri Rialto as they discuss delectable Yuletide “balls” with Alec Baldwin’s Pete Schweddy is a can’t-miss skit. The trio makes monotone an art form, while remaining dedicated to the naivety of the characters involved. (In response to Alec Baldwin’s, “But the thing I most like to bring out this time of year are my balls,” their faces barely twitch.) It’s double entendre at its finest, and never fails to leave me in stitches.

Pete Schweddy returned in another episode where he introduced the women to his hotdogs, but having them show so much interest in putting his wiener in their mouths was a little too easy a joke to pull off.

I Wish It Was Christmas Today (2000-the heat death of the universe)

On one December episode, there was a short segment of Horatio Sanz, Jimmy Fallon, Chris Kattan, and Tracy Morgan playing a catchy, albeit incredibly stupid song about Christmas being on the way. Sanz played a skinny guitar while singing, Fallon occasionally pressed an elephant noise button on the keyboard, Kattan held the keyboard while shaking his head, and Morgan danced with a look on his face like he got dragged on stage against his will. It was silly and would have probably been forgotten soon after.

Instead, they returned a week later and insisted on playing it again despite being explicitly told not to. Soon they would start playing it during non-December months to show Christmas’ superiority over other holidays. After Simon Cowell insulted the group, he sheepishly agreed that he wanted to join them and broke out some maracas. One year, when Sanz was the only one left in the cast, he replaced his buddies with Fozzie Bear, Gonzo, and Animal while Kermit the Frog danced in a way that you have to wonder if a Muppet is capable of snorting coke.

The song still gets brought out now and then, usually on Fallon’s show. It’s even been covered by Julian Casablancas and Cheap Trick of all people!

They did sing a completely different Christmas song one time, but nobody cared.

Glengarry Glen Elf: Christmas Motivation (2005)

Alec Baldwin seems to be the go-to host for classic Christmas sketches. Playing on his iconic Glengarry Glen Ross character Blake, Baldwin (in a way) reprises the role as 615-year-old “elf from the home office” sent to straighten out the subpar work of Santa’s elves. There couldn’t have been a more perfect break in character than when Baldwin says “Always Be Closing” instead of “Always Be Cobbling” as scripted. It’s a slip-up that makes for a perfect holiday sketch, full of deep-bellied laughs. 

TV Funhouse: Christmastime for the Jews (2005)

Not only is the witty “Christmas for the Jews” written by comedy legend Robert Smigel, but it’s sung by David Letterman’s Christmas angel Darlene Love. In “Christmas for the Jews,” the characters see “Fiddler on the Roof,” grab an early dinner, and enjoy dreamland Daily Show reruns. It’s an intriguing and catchy look at the other side of the Christmas season, complete with a very Rankin-Bass animation style.

Digital Short: Dick in a Box (2006)

Justin Timberlake is one of the most entertaining, versatile hosts that SNL has been gifted. A member of their prestigious Five-Timers Club, “Dick in a Box” is Timberlake’s most memorable sketch, filled with skeevy, disgusting come-ons from Andy Samberg and Timberlake, which has been viewed just millions and millions of times. In 2006, Timberlake had already impressed critics and viewers alike with his acting range in Alpha Dog, but his comedic turns on SNL solidified him as an actor. Timberlake has done a lot of impressive things in his time as an entertainer, but there are few more enjoyable (or laughable) than “Dick in a Box.”

These two R&B weirdos would return later on to sleep with each other’s moms as reciprocated Mother’s Day presents and later swear that being in a two-guy/one-girl three-way isn’t considered gay.

John Malkovich Reads ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas (2008)

As quipped by the man himself, no one emits Christmas spirit quite like John Malkovich. This admission yields the self-reflexive irony of Malkovich reading “The Night Before Christmas” to the children of SNL’s staff. Malkovich, pausing during his reading of the holiday classic, asks the children about the suicide rate rising during the holidays, talking about how shooting a home invader in California is “perfectly legal,” musing about how the tonnage of Santa’s sleigh and reindeer would (scientifically speaking) burst into flames, how in Portugal their version of Saint Nicholas steals children’s toes, as well as reciting the gem: “You know what they say about hopes; they’re what we cling to when reality has left us nothing else.” If you’re in a lighthearted Christmas mood, Malkovich’s monologue is certainly one to enjoy.

Stefon on Holiday Travel (2010)

Bill Hader was highly respected for his versatility and range during his time at SNL, but it was his improvisational skills that turned a Weekend Update bit into a must-see recurring segment. Stefon, likely the defining character for SNL during the 2010s thus far, informed New Yorkers and tourists alike of the city’s hottest nightclubs – with Hader almost always breaking down in laughter as his cue cards were frequently changed from the rehearsal to throw him off.

Stefon knew how to get weird and you can imagine he’d save some fun things for the a “classic New York holiday.” Make sure to check out the Lower, Lower East Side dump hosted by Tranderson Cooper or find a club with the right amount of Puerto Rican Screeches or Gay Aladdins. Just don’t run over the Human Parking Cones.

Stefon would return with more Christmastime insight three years later, where he’d discuss a club called [loud Tauntaun noises], founded by Jewish cartoon character Menorah the Explorer.

Under-Underground Crunkmas Karnival (2010)

Good God, I wish there were more Under-Underground Records sketches. As a parody of the Gathering of the Juggalos, we’d regularly see DJ Supersoak (Jason Sudeikis) and Lil Blaster (Nasim Pedrad) excitedly talk up huge concert events that are needlessly violent and inexplicable in their randomness. For instance, there’s the Crunkmas Karnival, which features such musical acts as Dump, Boys II Dicks, Scrotum Fire, and…Third Eye Blind for some reason.

It’s just a bunch of loud humor that goes back and forth between being stupidly hardcore and being meekly out of left field. Yes, you can go check out a “dong tug-of-war,” but you can also see a special 2D screening of the Owls of Ga’hoole or meet Spaceballs star Pizza the Hut. Not to mention the return of their most fondly remembered running gag, the endless undying and dying of Ass Dan.

This Christmas-based event will take place in February. Sounds about right.

Ornaments (2011)

Every now and then, SNL will do a sketch towards the end of the show where the guest will talk about whichever holiday is coming up and awkwardly go into one of the aspects of it, such as Easter eggs or Halloween candy. In this instance, it’s Steve Buscemi unloading a box of Christmas ornaments and commenting on each one. All the while, Kristen Wiig plays Sheila, his girlfriend who appears to be more than a little off and doesn’t quite grasp tree decorating.

Buscemi’s descriptions range from delightful non-humor to outlandish and disturbing. He might make an intentionally lame joke about one ornament before holding up another and matter-of-factly letting you know that, “I put this one up my butt.”

And somehow he’s still the straight man in this bit.

You’re a Rat Bastard Charlie Brown (2012)

This sketch is centered on Bill Hader playing Al Pacino, playing Charlie Brown. The rest of the cast turns out bang-up impressions as well: Jason Sudeikis playing Philip Seymour Hoffman playing Pigpen, Kate McKinnon as Edie Falco playing Lucy (as Charlie Brown’s drug peddling therapist, causing a holiday-blues Charlie to say, “Oh yeah…I want something to take me sky high!”), Martin Short playing Larry David playing Linus, Taran Killam doing Michael Keaton as Schroeder, and Cecily Strong as Fran Drescher as Charlie Brown’s mother, all performed in front of a baffled childhood audience.

For anyone who grew up watching Charlie Brown and Co., watching Bill Hader/Al Pacino/Charlie Brown unleash the expletive-laden “You’re gonna hold that f***ing football?!” towards Kate McKinnion/Edie Falco/Lucy, and saying, “Ow, you bitch!” after she pulls it away is absolutely to die for.

Jebidiah Atkinson on Holiday Movies (2013)

For a time, Taran Killam played Jebidiah Atkinson, a Weekend Update character based on how an old newspaper editorial was discovered that panned Abraham Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address. Atkinson, somehow still alive, would appear and read review snippets about other big speeches he hated.

One of his return appearances had him discuss holiday specials and movies. Every single one of them he hates. Every single one of them gets roasted. His vicious energy is so over-the-top that the good jokes land and the bad jokes still get a laugh from the misplaced confidence. Over these several minutes, he screams about how much of a depressing bore A Charlie Brown Christmas is, how the Grinch stole a half hour of his life, and how every time they play It’s a Wonderful Life, an angel blows its brains out.

This one is admittedly a bit dated with its biggest joke, where his distaste for Snoopy is so great that he wishes Family Guy killed him off instead of Brian. The horror from the audience still makes it worth it.

St. Joseph’s Christmas Mass Spectacular (2014)

Ah, Christmas Mass. The drum solo for every childhood during Christmas time. It’s uncomfortable and especially boring. Ergo, liven it up by framing it as a big, in-your-face event via what amounts to a monster truck rally commercial!

It’s a brilliant use of contrast. Take an event that is so mundane with so many familiar and shared experiences and treat it like it’s some extreme thing. The familiarity of the pastor making corny jokes that get the most minor of laughs is treated like a once-in-a-lifetime event. It shines a light on the weird tics of the prominent people you see at church and feels amazingly universal.

The SNL cast is fantastic here, but the MVP is Cecily Strong as the middle-age woman who is way into doing a reading in the loudest, most overly articulate speaking voice possible.

Sump’N Claus (2014)

Getting gifts from Santa Claus is great and all, but when you grow up, you realize how hard it truly is to be nice all year round. Luckily, there’s an alternative. Introduced via an extremely catchy song, we meet Sump’n Claus (Keenan Thompson), a pimp-like offshoot of Santa who not only used to work for St. Nick, but also appears to have some dirt on him.

Sump’n Claus sings several verses about people who have had breakdowns and would be thrown onto the naughty list. Sump’n Claus doesn’t care about that. You be you. Every December, he’ll still be there to hand you an envelope full of twenties and fifties. He’s the holiday mascot for adults, basically.

One of the highlights is how he mentions that Santa is not your friend as friends don’t watch you while you’re sleeping.

The Christmas Candle (2016)

Christmas has been saved by many different things: ghosts who see through time, an angel trying to earn his wings, a reindeer’s glowing nose, New Yorkers singing “Santa Claus is Coming to Town,” and so on. Then again, sometimes you need a savior for something with lower stakes.

In the form of a mid-1990s all ladies group that gives me kind of a Celine Dion vibe, we’re given a wonderful song that starts with the tale of a woman who had to get a coworker a gift for Secret Santa. She found an old peach candle in her closet and just gave her that. The second verse is a similar situation where not only is a peach candle given as a throwaway gift to an acquaintance, but it’s THE SAME candle. Yes, somehow this one peach candle is re-gifted across the globe through latter December by women and gay men who couldn’t be bothered to put thought into their presents.

Truly a miracle.

First Impression (2018)

Beck Bennett plays a guy about to finally meet his girlfriend’s (Melissa Villaseñor) parents and he’s nervous as hell. She assures him that he’ll be fine, but he really wants to impress them. Sure enough, he tries to impress them in the weirdest way by hiding somewhere in the house and speaking in a high-pitched voice in order to dare them to find him. Her parents (Jason Momoa and Heidi Gardner) are notably confused, as is she.

It’s already a strange and silly bit, but Jason Momoa shifts it into gear by suddenly being COMPLETELY into it. Removing his jacket with purpose, Momoa excitedly starts searching the house for this guy. The fact that Momoa is playing an overweight 60-year-old man is enough of a novelty, but he brings this oddball zest to the role as he starts to literally tear the home to pieces in order to get a look at his daughter’s elusive boyfriend.

The boyfriend’s plans here are both overly complicated and half-baked, culminating in an ending that’s as happy as it’s inexplicable and off-putting.

North Pole News Report (2019)

When Eddie Murphy returned to SNL, there was much fanfare. A completely solid episode, it admittedly spent too much of its runtime revisiting his old recurring classics like Mr. Robinson, Gumby, and Velvet Jones. The final sketch of the night goes full blast with his manic energy as he plays an elf eyewitness on the elf news, screaming bloody murder about a horrible tragedy. Mikey Day is reporter Donny Chestnut, looking at the destruction of a toy factory. As he tries to make heads or tails of what’s going on, Murphy bursts onto the scene, screaming about a polar bear attacking the elves and eating them like Skittles. And just screaming in general.

The best line comes from the elf (who keeps declaring, “IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT MY NAME IS!”) bringing over one of the survivors, and noting that, “This white, teenage elf girl ran out here, straight up to me – a black elf in sweatpants – and asked me to keep her safe. That’s how bad it is!” Despite this elf being right about the situation, Donny Chestnut keeps trying to sideline him for being increasingly erratic about Santa’s potential role in the slaughter and what it means for Christmas. Even as he trips over some of his lines, Eddie Murphy is so damn precious here.

AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!

December to Remember Car Commercial (2020)

It might be in bad form to include a sketch from this very year, but man, this joke is not only long overdue, but the acting is top notch. Heidi Gardner’s barely repressed rage is something special.

You’ve seen the commercial a million times. It’s Christmas morning and someone reveals a brand new car to a loved one. As part of Lexus’ December to Remember, Beck Bennett reveals a brand new Lexus with a giant bow to his wife (Gardner) and their son (Timothée Chalamet). What initially appears as shock turns out to be fury and confusion over what is a selfish and short-sighted decision. Buying a car is a huge deal and isn’t something you don’t tell your significant other. More than that, Bennett’s character hasn’t been employed for about a year and a half and has no way of affording such a thing. The thread is pulled away, unraveling both how much of an idiot he is and how doomed their family life happens to be.

Then neighbor Mikey Day shows up and it hits another level. Beck Bennett is the expert at playing guys with misplaced confidence who haven’t come close to thinking things through.

The post The 25 Best SNL Holiday Sketches appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[otterenergy1962]

Letting go of old beliefs - part 3

In part 1 and 2, I wrote about life situations that caused me to have limiting beliefs about myself. For this entry, I am focusing on one that has run through the core of my being and has been persistently there for my entire life. As I examine it, I am starting to locate the actual point(s) in time that caused this limiting belief.

I am plain and unattractive.

It is a simple fact that I don’t always see why others people think that I am attractive. Some people even go as far as to say that I already know that or that I take advantage of it. I’ve been accused of being an attention seeker for posting a picture of my weightlifting progress… Many people just make assumptions and seem to be quite willing to express the same to me because they feel safe behind their keyboard.  Would any of them have the courage to say so in front of my face?

One of my old desires was to look like a Tom of Finland drawing. For my straight friends, Tom of Finland was an artist who drew gay men in a hyper-masculine manner. The men were often extremely muscular and well-endowed. I always thought that I was a man who was too far from even being close to resembling a hyper-masculine caricature. I felt very different inside. I was still that overweight kid that had low self esteem and low self worth.

Sometimes guys project their ideas and feelings onto me. I’ve gotten friendship requests on FaceBook from men who seem to be a really nice guys. Once friended and without my request, a dick pic (or other parts of the body) shows up and I feel disappointed because they must only see me for what they believe I am. If I post a picture of myself without my shirt on does that mean that I am a whore and want others to automatically think think that I am seeking such? That I am willing to toss them a nude shot of me without any self-respect?

My ex husband would often say that I was the straightest gay man that he had ever known. He said this because I would often wear jeans and a t-shirt, didn’t seem to have any fashion sense or didn’t partake in the stereotypical gay man’s activities. I didn’t want to sleep around with everyone, didn’t obsess with HGTV, didn’t go to raves stoned on various drugs or believing that the grass might be greener on the other side of some stupid fence so that I could dump one man for a better one…. He even said that I didn’t have the gay designer gene!

After all, I didn’t fit the Tom of Finland stereotype. I liked reading, writing, science fiction, gardening, cooking and more. I liked walking on the beach and camping.   I didn’t ride a motorbike or wear leather and role play hyper-masculine fantasies. So, why didn’t I start acting like I was a Tom of Finland man so that I could PRETEND that I was something that I was not? My ex husband, Henry, did that all the time. I used to giggle about his desire to be a butch leather fantasy man who loved doilies, frilly antique pieces and miniature doll houses! I didn’t deem it necessary to pretend that I was something that I wasn’t.

In my journey of self discovery, I have learned that it is okay to be silly, dance to Madonna in my underwear while making dinner or singing Donna Summer tunes while cleaning the house. By the way, I clean my house in jeans and a t-shirt! How “un-gay” can that be? I love otters, not in the gay sense, but the animal. A gay otter is a man that loves bears. Bears are big and hairy guys. So, I’m not a gay otter, but am nicknamed Otter because I want to be playful like my spirit animal. A friend recently told me that one of things he loves about talking to me is how I say goodbye on a FaceTime call. I wave bye-bye like I do with my students! He says that I have this cute child-like grin on my face and wave quick little wave. He says it is really cute!  Okay, definitely not Tom of Finland! What makes it okay is that I don’t have to conform. I can be anything I want.

As I write this, I think back to when I was a child. I loved to play ball tossing games and skipping rope. Tom of Finland guys don’t skip Double Dutch… or do they? This brings up a question that my friend, Gary, recently asked me. “What would you say to that little kid that loved Double Dutch and tossing a ball against a wall whilst singing songs? Why does he like doing those things?” He would say because it was fun. There wasn’t a rule that said I couldn’t do those things. I didn’t like playing sports that much and seemed to enjoy the girls’ company more than the boys’.

It wasn’t until I was a few years later that I found out that being different would surface in a negative way. Suddenly, the word “Fag” starting being heard. The Double Dutch guy was a fag who felt dumpy and nondescript. I think that I was trying to make myself that way to avoid being noticed. If you made yourself as nondescript as possible, the bullies wouldn’t notice you as much. Duck your head and look the other way! I can even remember telling my mother that I didn’t feel good about myself. She just said that I would grow out of it…

I didn’t. I took that idea into my adult life. I continued to believe that I was nondescript and unattractive. When I came out, men liked me because of my age, or so I thought.  I figured that being young made you attractive. It never occurred to me that I was attractive in some other way.

I’ve already written about the AIDS crisis and how it affected me. When you are HIV+, you see the world through a different lens. In the early years of AIDS, people like me were considered pariahs. You were considered so because people were afraid. I remember the stories of the early years where men who had this unknown disease were isolated in rooms at hospitals, their food trays left in the hallway for fear of getting this unknown disease. For more information, read this article: https://www.out.com/positive-voices/2016/12/01/woman-who-cared-hundreds-abandoned-gay-men-dying-aids#media-gallery-media-1 . Like the men in the story, I felt abandoned. My partner at the time was so afraid of the syndrome that he refused to touch me. In my mind, he abandoned me, so I  abandoned him and tried to move on. Relationships became more and more difficult.  Even hook ups were impossible because I didn’t want to infect someone else by accident. So all those years of dealing with HIV had a major affect on my view of being unattractive and undesirable. It fortified my original concept of myself. Gradually, as I met more HIV+ men, I began to have relationships that were more comfortable, but the effect of the situation has stayed with my all of my adult life.

I’ve also written about how exercise saved my life in those times. I’ve been exercising ever since in the form of weights, aerobics and group fitness classes. I also taught them from 1990-2013 and developed a real sense of physical fitness. In those times, I developed the belief that to be attractive, one had to be muscular and fit. I was able to hide my disability though exercise and bulking up. In all that time, I never considered the possibility of looking inside and seeing the person or soul who had the muscular, fit body. All I could see was an imperfect body, never fit enough, all the flaws with my face, my body, and my soul. I could rally a major list of flaws, but seldom looked at the positives.

It has been in the last few years after major relationships ended, and dealing with cancer that I have come to see what I need to see. I began to look inside for the answers. I am still on that road to understanding and loving myself. I can honestly say that I am an attractive man, not totally because of my outside appearance, but what is also inside. My friend, Gary, again come up with a nugget of wisdom one night as we discussed the difference between being attractive, being desirable, being appealing etc. We even discussed who we thought was stunningly beautiful! The nugget was, “Keep your eyes, ears and heart open to an opportunity to try something new!” I’ve opened all of my senses to take the opportunity to see what is beautiful in me!

So, I was curious about what people thought of me. I asked a group of friends, some of them have been sexual partners and some have been platonic friends. The answers stunned me. The points that came up the most were:

“… you are a man that speaks and acts from your heart and have nothing but the best intentions for those you care about most.”

“You’re incredibly kind and caring. You’ve been kind of like a "Daddy" type to me by nurturing me and giving me tough love when needed. You're an animal lover. You’re intelligent. Strong. All of that. Confident.”

“Your eyes are intense, showing your beautiful soul and genuine warm and caring smile.  Then you’re so warm, kind, respectful, affectionate...  fun and adventurous.”

“You come across as what we call in Arabic, ‘the combination of the opposites’ - you are silent and brooding but at the same time really kind and caring, and you can be goofy and fun when the time calls for it. You are a serious man who has no problem showing emotions and vulnerability. You are strong, yet fragile.”

“You’re kind and easily let people in. And it’s just very easy to be around you, a very welcoming presence.”

Where there examples that showed that they thought I was attractive?  You bet! However, they have been tempered with the above points, telling me that it is more than just what is on the outside, and that the inside is just as important:

“Physically, for me you are definition of what I consider hot, attractive, not pretty girly but stern masculine look and a warm beautiful smile, you’re tall and muscular and very aggressive sexually chemistry that just is a drug to me.”

“Obviously you’re extremely handsome and built. You’re into a lot of fun and hot things, such as rubber and kink.”

“Superficially, you’re ruggedly handsome.”

“Ok, here’s my honest answer: physical aspects: silver, salt and pepper hair and beard are very attractive to me, combined those signs of a well seasoned man with the body of a well trained one and then you have a lethal combo that many can’t resist.”

“And top if off, you’re a very sexy and handsome man. ❤️”

So, can I honestly say that I am attractive? Am I a Tom of Finland kind of guy? The answer has been coming to me more lately. I’ve taken a few selfies and I’ve looked past the crooked smile and the grey hair. I’ve ignored the wrinkles and saw the warmth and beauty in my own eyes. There is a softness and a love that I’ve not noticed before. Is it selfish or conceited to find the self love and the things that make me attractive to myself?  I’m going to have to say no. If anyone says that I am posting pictures of me with my new glasses to just to get attention or to make me feel better by hearing everyone’s opinions… I have have something to say: These guys need to push off and find somewhere else to dump their own insecurities! They need to acknowledge their projections and their own conceptions of self onto me. I’m not a narcissistic man who posts pictures and says, “Look at me! Hello! I am here! I am beautiful and don’t I know it?”  Give me a fucking break!  All I am is a man who looked into the mirror, deep into his own eyes and found the soul and heart of a man that people find attractive and beautiful for many reasons.

I’ve since had that conversation with the little boy inside who thought he was nondescript and unattractive. We’ve consoled each other and come to love each other for all of our traits. Thank you guys (Gary, Bryan, Seann, Ray, Masoud et al), for your comments. Thank you for helping me see that being attractive starts at home in the belief of the self. I love you guys!

Carpe diem!