#i may stick w around the time they find run of the mill in the show

[microsofttothemax]

“you never know how much I love you, please don’t take my sunshine away.”

the idea of leo still going through all the movie angst in this au is gut-wrenching so i had to draw it

[nimmy22]

A Mistake: Chapter 2

summery: Set before the events of spencer's mansion. Slight AU where the Birkin's most recent babysitter gets more than she ever bargained for on one stormy night as she watched over Sherry. Cara was ready for a blackout but she almost got her life snuffed out when two forces attack the Brikin’s home, their goals unclear. All Cara wanted to do was get Sherry to safety but with the phone lines dead, she has to rely on herself. Will Albert Wesker be an ally? Or will he add Cara to the list of things needing a "clean up"?

I hope you enjoy!

Reposted from my account on AO3 under my username doomer.

https://archiveofourown.org/users/doomer

---------------------

She sighed in relief for a split second as the weak beam returned, only to feel all the breath being snatched from her lungs. A six-foot-man, heavily armed and dressed in black fatigues, came straight for her, face obscured by a ski mask. A scream bubbled its way out of her throat, only to burst prematurely as the intruder raised a gun to his lips. She forced her lips shut, feeling hot tears build up before they trickled down her cold cheeks.

She was terrified, but that terror only grew when she remembered she had left Sherry all alone. She cursed herself at her stupidly but then again, they would have both been caught by the gunman.

The intruder circled Cara, making a low whistling noise as his eyes drank in her form. He and the others were sent here on a mission, having already collected half the payment. All he had to do was collect the goods and deliver them to receive the other half of the payment. The girl was a spoil, and extra bonus, he was all too willing to snatch. She should blame the Bikinis. Anyone affiliated with Umbrella or their employees sealed their-

Cara grabbed a nearby vase while he was too distracted and smashed it against his head with a great amount of force, knocking him to his knees. But trained as he was, he was again back to his feet even before the shards hit the floor with an enraged shout.

Cara blindly sprinted away into the darkness, randomly bumping into the furnisher. She hasn't been in this house long enough to memorize its layout just yet, especially in the dark. All reason jumps out the window when such monster of a man is giving chase.

She ran as fast as she could and only paused when she didn't hear him coming after her anymore. Her ragged breathing was the only one consuming air in the room. From the smell of overly ripe bananas, she realized she was in the kitchen. A memory sparked in her mind, and she rushed to feel along the wall for the landline she had seen several times.

A tiny bit of hope sparked as her hands met the smooth plastic. Her fingers immediately began pressing buttons she knew by heart. It was someone she believed could give her more immediate help than a 911 call. She called Chris Redfield, a member of the S.T.A.R.S Alpha team. He was her best friend's brother and certainly would know what to do.

To her disappointment, a single ring was all the phone could give before the line went dead. It felt like a lifeline had just been cut.

'I could still grab Sherry and run,' Cara thought as she ran upstairs. Now with her eyes better adjusted to the dark, she was better able to avoid bumping into things. Several feet away from Sherry's bedroom, Cara's hand was already reaching out for the doorknob.

Before her hand closed around the handle, another wrapped around her throat with a crushing force. She gasped for breath as her airway fought against the pressure, narrowing by the second. she didn't recognize the man, realizing that the intruder had come with friends. Slamming her against the wall, he used his other hand to increase the pressure on her throat, and soon her vision became a blur. With the little bit of strength she had, she delivered a swift kick to his crutch.

That would have worked on the run-of-the-mill robber, but these men were trained mercenaries. He easily blocked her with his knee. A full-toothed smirk mocked her as her consciousness flickered worse than the flashlight had. Her bitterness left her with a bad taste in her mouth. The world had taken too much from her already, but it still wanted more. Always wanting more.

Air flooded into her airways, no longer constrained. She slid down the wall with the sensation of something warm and wet splatter against her face. At first, she thought they were just tears. She gasped for air, clammy hands running over the bruising over her neck. She shut her eyes as the world spun around her.

Her eyes snapped open as she heard a thud, realizing the man had fallen to his knees. Cara crawled away quickly, expecting him to attack again. She blinked several times to clear the blurriness into focus.

Time seemed to slow down as she stared wide-eyed at the man kneeling in front of her. The hands that were seconds ago determined to end her life were wrapped around his own throat, failing miserably to stop the blood from gushing out like a fountain. There was someone else here, someone who was not on their side, but that didn't mean they were on hers.

"H-help m-me." he choked on his blood, reaching a hand towards Cara. Seeing the figure behind the man slowly walk towards her, she slapped the desperate hand away and scrambled to her feet, ready to run. She didn't get far and screamed as she too met the end of the man's blade already slick with blood.

A man with slicked blond hair, not a strand out of place, and an unreadable hardened expression stared at her from behind a pair of expensive shades. He used his whole body weight to pin her to the wall, nestling the knife right below her chin, sharp end nearly slicing the skin.

"W-who are you?" Cara whimpered; voice strained like a mouse about to expire. Her breathing came out ragged as she licked her dry, cracked lips.

"You must be Sherry's new babysitter," His voice was deep, soothing, and pleasant, so unlike this very situation. A thousand questions flooded Cara's mind, but she was too afraid to ask. Too afraid to give him any inspiration.

Her eyes darted to the door, and she felt a heavy feeling settle into her stomach. She was so close to Sherry, but so was the threat. Cara couldn't even help herself, and the little girl may end up paying the price for it. She hated herself for being so useless.

Footsteps rounded the corner, revealing three armed men with their guns, and they were trained on Cara and her assailant. Within a blink of an eye, the knife was gone from her neck, finding its new home buried right between the eyes of one man. He dropped to the floor with a thud, expression frozen in a state of confusion.

"Fuck! This motherfucker got Stennely and Adam. Let's fuck him up!" One of the men shouted.

Cara was shoved backward aggressively by the blond man without another glance her way. Producing a gun of his own, he began firing with precision catching a man in the temple. The others took cover, getting ready to return fire.

Cara didn't wait to watch the rest of the fight and raced into Sherry's room, slamming the door. "Sherry? Oh god, please tell me your alright," She cried, eyes darting from one point to the next in search of the little girl's form. Then she remembered the little girl hid under the bed. Holding her breath, she quickly lifted the covers and glanced below, only to let out a sob as she realized the little girl wasn't there.

"Sherry!?" Cara cried louder, overwhelmed with panic and-

"Cara!" a quivering voice called out. Cara whirled around to see pale little hands pushing the closet door open, Sherry's head peaking out.

"Oh, thank god!" Cara said, feeling the crushing weight of guilt lifted. She shouldn't have left the little girl alone. With a gentle smile, she reached out to touch Sherry's tear-streaked face.

"I heard all the noise and got so worried about you. Oh no! Your hurt. " Sherry gasped, wiping something off Cara's face, her fingers coming off red. The high schooler shuddered with the memory.

"I-it's.... not... it's not mine. Don't worry. But we've gotta leave right now."

"But daddy said not to leave the house. We can stay hidden in the closet." Sherry said, opening the door wider. The ongoing gunfire moved further away to a more distant part of the house. The fact that the gunfire did not yet stop threw the idea of hiding right outside the window. Literally. There was definitely no hiding here.

"I know, I know, baby, but there are bad people in the house," Cara said and led the little girl to the window. "We have to get out before they find us." she held the girl in a tight embrace before she heaved the window open, kicking the screen out. Sticking her head out the window, she spotted a drainpipe within reach making its way down from the roof. The rain was falling without mercy, already drenching her hair and weighing down her eyelashes.

"This is a bad idea, but I see no other way," Cara said, throwing her leg out the window, and then the rest of her body followed suit. "Just do what I do and don't do what lands me splat on the ground,"

The little girl looked unconvinced, but she followed. The pipe groaned as Cara used to climb down. While the descent was only from the second floor, it felt like years were passing and not minutes. The rain forced them to make slower, calculated moves as it made the metal slippery. Any mistake could lead to something breaking or worse.

Soon Cara's feet touched the ground. Her mind was alert and ready to bolt, but her muscles screamed from the strain. As soon as Sherry was grounded, they raced to the neighboring home. Cara banged on the door, calling for help

No one came to the door, despite the two flashy cars parked outside. Not wasting time, she ran to the next house and the next, banging on doors and windows, only to meet the same outcome.

'The fucking posh fuckers of Raccoon too stuck up to get involved when other people's lives are in danger. Not even for a child, they were willing to help,' Cara thought bitterly, feeling even more helpless. She just wanted to make a single phone call to Chris- to anyone!

A black van sped through the residential street, contrasting with all the bright sport cars parked in front of the expensive homes. It squealed to a stop as soon as it spotted them. The doors slid open, revealing armed men dressed in black army fatigues and bulletproof vests. They ran towards the girls with purpose, guns aimed and ready.

"Don't make this harder than it has to be. Give up the little girl, and we won't hurt you. In fact, you're free to go." One of the men said, approaching the girls slowly. Cara had a strong feeling that he was lying and that he will make sure she won't see the sunrise ever again.

"Help!" Cara banged on the door again, knuckles bruised and sore, but she didn't stop.

"Save your breath. No one will help you. These stuffed fuckers of umbrella are too self-conceited to even help one of their own. They have no sense of loyalty. Now, why would they help you? Just give us the girl." The man taunted, drawing closer to them.

"Over my dead body," Cara spat before grabbing the little girl and sprinting.

"Big mistake." He smirked, a vicious gleam in his eyes. With his finger on the trigger, he trained his gun on the two fleeing forms.

Bang.

The mercenary's hand split from his body, having been a recent target of Wesker's sniper rifle from where he hid atop the roof of the Birkin’s home. The mercenary screams didn't carry far before Wesker cut it short, delivering a second shot into his skull.

"The mistake is yours, thinking you could snatch my dear little niece and kill her favorite babysitter," Wesker said, a sinister smile playing on his lips.

They were right about Umbrella lacking any sort of loyalty, but he would not hesitate to kill for what was his and his dear friend William.

A clean-up crew was already on its way, but Wesker wasn't going to make it too easy for them. He had been cooped up in the STARS office for too long this week. Having time for little else and dealing with tiresome subordinates and chief of police constantly breathing down his neck at every turn. He was just about ready to snap. And these men came at just the right time to ease his boredom, just a little bit.

[kewltie]

omfgggg pregnant!deku. imagine where no. 1 hero is not only an omega but is pregnant and it's still early in his first trimester so he's running around kicking ass but IT'S DEKU so ppl frets and worry over his safety that even villains r like uh i dont wanna mess w/ that. deku is like ridiculously popular & well like even among criminal bc he believes in 2nd chances & rehab of the criminals/villains & fight for disenfranchised youths who fell on the wrong side of the track. so yea, they fight against him but they're also kinda soft for him!!!

so when they found out their fav hero is pregnant & still patrolling there's like some super-secret nonverbal agree among them that they won't stop doing what they are doing but like,,,, nobody fucking touch deku ok or you'll deader than dead. which is ALL KIND OF HILARIOUS bc deku coming to a bank robbery & the criminals doesnt stop their crime but when they fight him, they're like super careful w/ him making sure he doesn't get knock back, fall, or hurt himself too much.

when deku finally captured them and as they're about to taken away, they happily congratulated him on his pregnancy & ask if he'd thought of names yet & one of them is like, "oh, when my husband was pregnant eating X & Y really help with the nausea." and izuku is like,,, thanks???

there's like so many ppl invested in deku's pregnancy that it bizarre bc he's not the first or the last omega to ever be pregnant but he's deku, prohero, no.1 rank, and symbol of hope. all that means is there's a hyper fixation on everything about him esp now that he's pregnant. talk shows, news channel, & celeb gossip show are all talking about it one way or another. whether he's should take an early leave of work or not bc of the danger of his job, the baby's sex, his pregnancy craving, bump watch (I KNOW), & even a countdown to his due date.

the entire country is in a baby fever just bc of deku. everybody talk obsessively about it & even if you find that one person who does not care they def know someone who does. all this happen while deku just go about his day like all of Japan isnt watching his every move lol. the strangest thing about deku's pregnancy is that there's no sign of the other parent?? deku isnt even dating anyone. he never mention any alpha AT ALL, only declaring that he plans to raise his baby all by himself as a single parent which blew their fucking mind bc wtfffff.

look, deku is the most famous omega around, sitting high atop of the world as the no. 1 hero & is adore by the mass--he's greatest omega of his generation some would say so yea there's lot of expectation & hope place on him but deku is deku & he does what he wants. ppl speculate that maybe he's pregnant bc he had a one night stand and this was accident, maybe he has been in a secret relationship all this time, maybe this baby was from a spurned lover or WORST yet a produce of rape... LIKE there's so many rumor swirling around but the answer is actually v v v simple. deku has always wanted a child and since he's nearing 30 right now, he thought it's hightime he has one and the other father? JUST A DONOR. it's nothing serious or complicated as ppl imagine to be.

deku wants a kid and now he has one!! but ppl just can't comprehend how it could be that simple when the most notoble omega in all of japan decide he wants a kid W/O having a mate and he's going to raise this baby all by himself and nope he's not even going to quit his job at ALL to have a family. deku is just--blowing their mind lol

the world doesn't so much get over it as they just kinda get dragged along bc deku does not give a single fuck wut other think and proceed to be immersed in his pregnancy and try to survive the next 6 months while everyone waited on bated breath to see what deku does next. the only thing that stick is the constant rumor mill of who is the donor of deku's baby. they assume that deku wouldn't just pick a stranger bc he's sentimental like that so speculations run amok about every alpha that is closely associate with deku.

there are public polls, betting rings w/ billions on the line, televised debates, internet flame wars, and ACTUAL ARGUMENTS B/T FAMILY/FRIENDS/COWORKERS on who the fuck is deku's donor! even more than deku's baby, they're fucking obsessed on finding out who is the actual donor. the thing is it's not THAT big of a secret. all of class A are in the loop, his mom know (ofc), and even his agency but they all managed to keep it a secret bc deku's privacy is the utmost important & beside the other father would literally MURDER them if it ever get expose.

this is how it went: bullied by his pr team, deku went on a variety show where they have to babysit kids & put through various childbearing challenge while cameras record them for entertainment purpose. It's there when deku realized "ah, I WANT THIS. I WANT THIS V BADLY." deku is climbing close to his 30 now, he's well established presence in the hero world, and his life is pretty stable so it's high time he have his own little family but the thing is babies are two ppl business. they don't just come from thin air so deku did the next best thing.

katsuki would like to say he didn't see this coming the same way you would not expect to be attack by a shark on land, but in this case deku is that fucking shark & katsuki is the idiot that get completley blindsided by him when deku cornered him one day and asked for his sperm.

ok, bakudeku aint dating. they have deep & complicated history that is not only confusing o everybody else but also confusing to them. 'friend' would be to light of a word but anything else is left undefined bc how do you explain more than 2 decades of w/e they are to each other. katsuki doesn't want to talk about the amount of time he'd used image of deku to get off while in rut just so he can survive through it, while the next few days trying to resist punching deku in the face bc he act like a sacrificial idiot who got a cross he wants to bear.

it's not 100% healthy his therapist unhelpfully pointed out but the core of all his volatile feelings have always been named deku & katsuki doesn't know how to compartmentalize it properly bc katsuki may have squashed to something small & insignificant but it's heavy & permanent. so when deku laid his fucked up request at katsuki's feet, he broke the table they were using and nearly walked out if deku didn't catch him by the arm in time.

"kacchan, pls here me out first," deku begged of him, his sweet permeating the air; he's NOT PLAYING FAIR AT ALL. whoever said alphas are the dominate sex in the world have never met an omega, a determine goal focus omega with babies on the brain like deku.

"kacchan, recently i realized that im only getting older so i want a child when i still can," deku explained. "so won't you help me? i know settling down right now is the farthest thing from your mind, but im not asking you anything like that," he continued as katsuki quietly fumed in the background. "i just want your help in making this selfish wish of mine come true. you're among my top choices, kacchan."

Katsuki jerked up. "wait, you mean to say there's a fucking list of alphas you plan to extort their sperm from?" he seethed, feeling like deku had took a goddamn knife to his pride and butcher it completely. "how many other ppl have you asked before you even came to me?!"

"im not extorting anything from anyone." Deku frowned. "and, well, you always lectured me about diving head first w/o any backup plans," he pointed out, "so i made sure to leave several options open just in case the first one fell through. see? i did thought this one thru."

katsuki nearly broke another piece of furniture at the thought of deku asking someone else to father his child as though he was just another face in a long list of ppl deku could use. "What did every alpha on ur shitty list rejected u already so now have to come to me for help?"

deku, who was no.1 for a reason, narrowed his eyes and the air crackled around them. "kacchan, this is extremely important to me so i wouldnt just chose anyone. i only know a handful of alphas i can trust and someone im happy to share the other half of my child with. you're the 1st person that came to my mind when i thought about a child growing inside of me," he said, wrapping his arm around his flat tummy. "despite our many differences you're the one i admire the most. your strength & ambition, grounded by your strong drive & work ethics. the fact that you got where you are w/ your own hands & wits to guide you, i think you're just amazing. so how could i not want those kind of qualities for my own child," deku explained. "im sure a child born from half of your genes you will shine just brightly as you do."

katsuki felt so taken back that found his tongue heavy and words were escaping him. on one hand he felt a rush of pride and a strange sensation of happiness that deku had specifically chosen him out of his potential candidates bc of the greatness he had seem in katsuki but he'd also narrowed katsuki out not bc of some sentimental bullshit or lingering feelings but he thought of providing his future child with the best gene pool as possible so his child can flourish. it's a damn ego busting for katsuki but deku was clearly a man on a mission.

katsuki hesitated and thought what it would mean to have a child out there who carry a lil part of him in them; it's unnerving and humbling at the same time. he never thought of it himself but deku had dream of this, wanted this so badly enough to beg katsuki for help.

"alright," he said finally, not knowing exactly what compelled him to agree, but the look of utter happiness spreading across deku's face as he can barely contain his joy. a single word from him had caused deku's word to shift and rearranged itself to make room for another life.

and that's how katsuki got con into helping izuku make a baby lol. but, really katsuki was the one who agreed to it out of his own will bc he's an idiot & also terribly whipped; omegas are the ones ppl should be frighten of bc once they make up their mind it's hard to move them. they're an unstoppable force, something to be reckon w/ esp when that omega is the no.1 hero who fought his way to the top of the rankings and maintain that status quo for many years despite how many times katsuki tried to topple him from that perch LOL.

katsuki already lost the war before he'd even put a foot down on battlefront the moment deku'd opened his mouth & demanded his sperm AND HE KNEW IT TOO. so that was how katsuki found himself preparing to empty his balls in front of a two-way mirror in a mating clinic bc of deku. omegas, esp males, are the most fertile when they're in heat & when an alpha go in a rut, but the both of them have this arrangment that's more of a duty than any feelings involve bc they cant risk getting mix up in the hormones. this is for deku & his future child!!! so the clinic had prepared a large room w/ two way dividing mirrors& open air vents circulating b/t the two rooms so they can breathe in each other scene where deku can have his heat on one side and katsuki can watch BUT NOT TOUCH and get his rut on so he can produce sperm.

it's uh, not supposed to be v sexy since it's all clinical & shit but bakudeku being bakudeku they nearly tear the room apart to get to each other in heat/rut madnes. deku had blushed earlier as he asked to be bind with quirk restrictions cuff just in case he go crazy which HE DID. at first the nurses there was more worry about katsuki going crazy and out of control bc he has been known to fall pretty high on the alpha aggression and they fear it would be katsuki who would be dangerous; BUT NOPE it's deku all all along who almost broke the REINFORCED MIRROR just so he can get to katsuki!!!! DEKU WHO PPL SOMETIMES FORGET IS LIKE THE NO. 1 HERO FOR A REASON. soft and sweet deku who single handedly can fuck you up with just his fingers if he want to. he's an omega on a mission and he wants that knot up his ass AND HE WANTS IT NOW.

the nurses & docs have to use everything in their toolkit to pull bakudeku apart. when it's all said and done, katsuki embarrassingly produce buckets of cum enough to last deku a looooooong long time if the first one didn't take lol while deku couldn't look at katsuki in the eyes. they are both horridly embarrass about their 'not mating' and their action toward each other there even though they never actually touch each other through out the whole heat/rut procedure. despite the fact that they DIDN'T HAVE ANY SEX, it was still the hottest exp for both.

katsuki never seen more more feral and fierce omega who nearly broke the entire room just to get to him, in that moment if katsuki wasn't in love already he would have been half way there and izuku didn't expect KATSUKI AT ALL. the way he had handle izuku was completely diff. in izuku's heat fever, katsuki was the lone anchor who'd provided him grounding. he tried to calm deku down from his ramp up hormones even though he was as clearly affected as deku. forceful but not unforgiving, commanding not unyielding, firm but gentle.

it was electric.

it was as though izuku was a wild animal unleashed and katsuki managed to tamed him and he never had even had to raise a single finger to do it. it was all in his words that cut through izuku's hazy feverish wants and desires. the kind of alpha that made deku's knees weak.

after that, they have wordless mutual agreement to never talk about it. deku got the sperms he wanted and katsuki had finally fullfiedd his obligation and isn't responsible for deku or his future child. HE'S DONE. they dont have anything to do w/ each other anymore. RIGHT??? ha.

it's funny bc izuku had his hope on a child but didn't think it would take so soon! he'd thought he would fail a few times first before he get really lucky w/ conception bc of his age now that he's older, this 'psuedo mating' can't replace real mating, & biology is fucking weird. even the fertility doc couldn't promise this procedure to insert bkg's sperm in him when he's still got in a heat fever will work 100% and if they fail, they have to wait for another HEAT to come before it could work. which mean months of waiting in b/t so izuku is desperate. BUT it took one try. THAT'S ALL IT TOOK as izuku anxiously waited for the news in next couple of weeks. he took at home pregnacy tests and when hall 3 results were positive he'd cried and called his mom but even then he didn't tell anyone bc he was so scare it just was a fluke.

he'd kept this secret until he finally got the visit to his doc and could get the firm confirmation he needed! when the doc revealed that he was indeed pregnant, izuku fell to his knees in relief bc finally, FINALLY, his dream of having a baby had came true. he's a father now!!

the doc had warned that the first trimester would be rough on him bc of his age and miscarriage is more likely for him than most male omega. maybe he should consider taking an early pregnacy leave bc of the danger his job poses to him & the unborn baby. deku had agonized over it. ultimately, he decided to continue w/ his hero work but won't take on as much stuff as before. he plans to be more careful & attentive to his safety, and defer his more dangerous work to his colleagues instead. all his friends and coworkers go out of their way to help him w/ this

izuku got an entire community of heroes WHO DO THEIR BEST TO ENSURE HIS PREGNACY GO SMOOTHLY bc look izuku may be doing this alone but HE'S NOT ACTUALLY ALONE bc he got his friends, colleagues, and mom to support him through this bc they know how much this means to him!!

katsuki was one of the last to find out but only bc deku plan to see him in person to tell him bc katsuki HAD GIVEN HIM ONE OF THE BEST GIFTS (beside OFA) and he wanted to thank katsuki in person but class A are a bunch of gossip mongers so he found out through their groupchat. it started as a joke about katsuki & his super seed bc what a fucking stud bakugou katsuki to have ONE TRY and is able to knocked izuku up so quickly lmao. w/e the fuck katsuki is doing or eating, apparently it works wonder for him bc one of his sperm luck out & hit jackpot. his so called friends cant stop ribbing into him for knocking up deku so quickly bc they know from deku's worry that it wasn't going to be an easy conception but IT'S BAKUGOU KATSKUKI, outdoing himself once more bc he never does anything by half, not even his own sperm lol.

izuku met up with katsuki right outside his agency bc he knew wassup and how to corner katsuki effectively by trapping him when he just high off his patrol when he least expect an ambush esp when he was too busy avoiding izuku's attempts to reach him bc of COMPLICATED FEELS.

it's not cowardice that kept katsuki away, but izuku was the source of all his confusing feelings already & now w/ the news that he's carrying katsuki's child now it'd gotten worst. izuku, though, was nothing if not persistent. he zeroed in katsuki right away w/ purposeful steps.

"kacchan, i'm so glad to meet you here," izuku says as though he hadn't coordinate this w/ katsuki's coworkers, who are all SOFT for izuku anyway lmao, to get katsuki alone JUST LIKE THIS. katsuki knew he was caught bc every one his friends & colleagues are FUCKING TRAITORS.

"what," he snapped, clenching the hands at his side as he tried to keep his gaze from izuku's still very flat tummy. it's weird to think a life was quickly taking shape there when it's not like izuku looked any diff but he smiling more brightly & warmth coming from his person. was this what they call the pregnancy glow? bc deku was fucking blinding that katsuki wanted to shove his hand to deku's face to block it out.

"what you want," he demanded again even tho they both know why deku was here.

unperturbed, deku smiled. "im pregnant now so thank you. you'd helped fulfilled one of my biggest dreams & im ever so grateful for it!" he continued, rocking happily back & forth on his heels but the words barely registered katsuki kept staring at the way deku's body swing out & he opened his mouth before he could think better of it.

"should you be even moving liek that ?" he asked BC SINCE FINDING OUT IZUKU IS PREGNANT HE LOST HIS MIND. as soon as the words left his mouth he knew he was a dead man walking.

izuku leveled him a glare so fierce that he actually took a step back w/ chills running up his back. "kacchan i may be pregnant but im not an invalid," izuku said with the sharp edge of a smile and thinly veiled steel in his voice. the scariest part was that he hadn't drop a single smile but the ominous threas was there. "do you want me to show you how much of not invalid i am?"

katsuki scowled, face pinching at the thought whether this was just the usual deku's bs or this was deku's bs + the pregnancy hormones that get him so rile up. either way, katsuki no matter how much of an ass he was, he wasn't going to punch a pregnant omega to prove a point.

"fine, that was dumb sorry," he said, scratching the back of his ear in annoyance. "so was that all you wanted to say?"

deku's eyes crinkle in amusement as katsuki's scowl deepens. "yea, i just wanted you to hear the news from me personally and expressed my thanks."

"i'll take good care of them," he said softly, a stray hand caressing his stomach carefully. "I promise i'll be good to them so you dont have to worry."

katsuki paused and then, "I know," he said bc he does. deku was going to be a good parent w/o a doubt. That is a truth.

deku's eyes light up at katsuki's words and there was a hint of wetness in them that katsuki had the unnerving fear that he was going to cry right here and katsuki's entire agency going to charge out & murder him for making a pregnant omega, THE PREGNANT OMEGA DEKU cry in public.

"t-thank you," he sniffs, but THANKFULLY NO ACTUAL CRYING INVOLE, "it makes me so happy to hear that you in believe me. i won't fail you, i swear!" he said it like he was making a vow for world peace or some shit bc of how serious it had sounded but this was important to him.

"yea, okay," katsuki said, looking away bc got this entire conversation was agonizing bc here he was talking to the person, but not JUST ANY RANDOM PERSON, who is carrying a baby w/ half of katsuki's dna & they're not fucking each other. like,,, that's fucking weird okay.

"that's all i wanted to say," deku told him, fully aware how uncomfortable this talk was making him, "so I won't bother you anymore." he gave one last smile and turned to go but KATSUKI WHO SHOULD HAVE LET IT END THERE found himself opening his mouth and grabbing deku by the arm.

it was careful, a firm but gentle hand placed his forearm like deku was glass that stopped him for a moment. "if--if," katsuki said, swallowing around a stone in his throat, "you find yourself needing anything, call me ok? ANYTHING i dont care just call me and i'll be there."

a slow but the brightest fucking smile he had ever seen bloom on deku's flushed face. "ok, i'll let you know," he replied, bc this was KATSUKI PUTING HIMSELF OUT THERE AND WANTING TO GET INVOLVE IN IZUKU'S PREGNACY even tho deku had given him a clean break from it. HE CHOSE THIS.

katsuki doesn't know what he was thinking then but the words slipped passed his guard before he can stop it & now he fucking doomed himself, doom himself to 3am late night calls of deku crying in hysteric at his home bc he ran out of some rare hard to find fruit bc CRAVINGS. so now katsuki had to dragged himself all the way across town to hunt for this shit. the morning news of that day was hero ground zero harrassing shopkeeper in the FUCKING ASS'S OCLOCK FOR SOME FRUIT AND DEMANDING IT NOW FOR W/E REASON, WHILE LOOKING SO FURIOUS & UNHINGED.

look, it's not like deku doesn't have an entire network of ppl to reach out to if he ever needed anything bc they would even laid down their life for him but even when he's cursing a storm trying to get deku's his midnight craving, he's so relief it's him that deku called first. besides, he firmly knew wut he had signed up for the moment he had opened his mouth. offering is help in the pregnancy process was him choosing to get involve and commit to deku & his (god fucking damn shit, he can't think of it as *theirs* bc that's too dangerous) baby. and bc this is bakugou katsuki and he never does any by halves so even though he may have been reluctant at first but now that he's firmly on board he's going in full throttle w/ no break in sight. katsuki dumps all his $$ on pregnacy & prenatal care books.

he read papers, argued on pregnancy forum, & even harassed his parents on it just so he can come at this like a fucking boss bc while he has full faith in deku to put the safety of the fetus first but also HE DOESN'T FUCKING TRUST DEKU TO PUT HIMSELF FIRST which is just as import. deku has the self-preservation  of a damn child & he can't expect a *child* to take care of himself so KATSUKI OBVIOUSLY GOT TO DO IT FOR HIM. so he make diet plans, prepare prep meals for deku ahead of them, annoyed deku's coworkers to watch out for him lest he does something stupid. he make it his firm mission that this pregnancy will go smoothly as possible so even when he's running errands for deku, getting his weird ass food craving, and taking deku to visit his ob-gyn, sitting in the waiting room anxiously for any news in case SOMETHING GO WRONG.

He even drives himself crazy learning about the things a pregnant person can't do/is at risk of doing & he doesn't know how anyone can fucking take this for 10 months bc it's like walking on a precarious tight rope. it's scary & humbling and he just want deku & the baby to be ok.

there are still crimes and villains to wrangle, and the world keeps on spinning; nothing really change all that much now that deku's pregnant but katsuki finds himself personally accolating his precious time and energy toward deku & the baby. he became one of those *PEOPLE*, ugh. he never got it even when his friends had popped out spawns of their own. he wasn't going to get dragged down by biology & all that general bullshit about settling down. he's at the top of his game & prize to take over deku's position as no.1. he got no time for playing family.

yet here he is standing in the middle of a fucking baby store, staring down a damn baby crib and having a melt down. who the fuck knew that baby cribs come in so many fucking versions and THERE ARE JUST TOO MANY OF THEM. he thought he had come prepare but no this was toughs shit. he only saw this store in passing while on a patrol & thought he should drop by but the next thing he knew he got trapped here for three fucking hours just looking at baby cribs. he already got several people walking passed him, eyeing him weirdly as he internally freak out.

there are ridiculous amount of info floating on the internet about crib buying guide like the bars could only be certain inches apart, non-toxic paints, diff kind of mattress, safe headboards, etc etc. all of that to ensure the baby doesn't fucking DIE bc babies are like FRAGILE.

he calls deku & as soon as he picks up, the first thing katsuki says is, "last year, there were 1,842 babies death due to sudden infant death syndrome."

a long pointed pause, and then, "oh geez," deku answers, "where are you? I'll be right there, okay? don't go anywhere!"

[carryonsimoncarryonbaz]

Gift Fic!!

A very happy birthday to my dear @vkelleyart !! A little something to brighten your day and hopefully make you laugh!

I’ve Been Everywhere

Shepard

I don’t think I would have given them a second look if it wasn’t for the wings.

You see a lot of unusual cosplay at Ren Faires. You see a lot of cleavage too, but I’m not going to complain about that.

Some of the cosplay is amateur, homemade, but still in the mood of the whole thing, you know? And some of it is expert level, seriously slick.

Those wings were something else. Those wings were magic.

It’s hard to spot Speakers. They blend in, glamour the obvious, layer on the mundanity, making it nearly impossible to catch even a glimmer of the magic they hold. They go out of their way to do it, to mask the magic.

Not these three. At least not in the usual way.

Granted they looked pretty run-of-the-mill at first sight—a chubby, Middle-eastern looking girl in something like anime cosplay, what with that school uniform look. The tall, dark-haired guy with the Anne Rice, modern vamp vibe. My eyes almost slid over the stocky dude with them–he was just so ordinary looking .

Until those wings popped.

Maybe that should have been my clue. The ordinary. But it didn’t feel like the way Speakers usually mask it.

Because once I took a good look at them, they were practically leaking magic everywhere. Like they failed a Subtlety of Magic class or something. Do they have classes for Speakers? Like schools where they learn to control the magic and filter it, to hide it in plain sight?

I wonder. I’ve never heard about anything like that on the message boards.

These guys would obviously be dropouts, if they actually do have schools like that. They could use a semester of Remedial Magical Skills 101 or whatever they’d call it.

Those wings got my attention. They looked so real, even from a distance. Fluid. Not like the mechanical stuff I’ve seen before. And there was that weird thrum in the air when they popped out.

I mean, I’m not saying I can sense Speakers or anything, but there’s definitely been a change since the whole demon incident. Like I crossed a threshold or something, with magical beings? Like a veil was lifted, maybe.

I can spot them a lot better. Most of the time.

These three though. They didn’t look like much at first glance but they may as well have had SPEAKERS tattooed on their foreheads, the way they were acting. As if I could stay away from that.

I don’t know what was up with all that nonsense they were doing at the Faire. Wands out in the open. Magical words flying. Poorly, at that.

They really must be dropouts or complete dumb-asses or have gone rogue or something. No magicians would ever risk being so blatantly obvious with their magic.

I mean, I’ve followed other Speakers before and I’ve never seen a hint of a wand or heard a whisper of a spell cast out loud. I’ve read up on it—on the web, on the message boards, heard from other people who were lucky enough to catch a glimpse of the magic workers doing their thing.

I’ve managed a few words with one or two myself.

But they’re evasive, secretive. They don’t talk about magic, they don’t even admit they’re magic. And they most certainly don’t go around sprouting functional dragon wings, decapitating fellow vampires with funky spells and using wands in public.

I’d be surprised if these three aren’t on some delinquent wanted list.

I trailed them when they left the Faire. For a whole mess of reasons.

They’re intriguing, for one. I’ve always wanted to know more about Speakers. These guys, they’re so out of control, so careless with it. I thought maybe this was finally my chance. My chance to get in with Speakers, find out what I can about them. Research, you know?

They’re nothing like the ones I’ve read about, the ones I’ve sweet-talked into spending a bit of time with me.

A witch-girl who decapitates first, asks questions later.

Berserker fly-boy.

And then that magical vampire. That’s a new one. A vampire with a wand. Who kills other vampires. I’d have said they were some sort of elite, covert, vampire infiltration squad, what with the decapitation and dusting they unleashed a few hours ago on the local Dracula crowd.

If they weren’t so completely inept at the covert part of that equation.

Maybe they’ve got something to do with the Next Blood.

Not that I got a chance to ask. They bugged out of there before I could get close enough to start chatting, introduce myself, get a conversation going.

They probably wouldn’t have given me the time of day, being magicians. Even though I helped that homely Edward Cullen wannabe with his spell. He’d have been dusted if I hadn’t.

I get why he chose to stick with the vampire cosplay. I mean, I can see it. Camouflage yourself in plain sight. It makes sense. Puts people off your trail.

He’s pale. And he’s got a widow’s peak.

But still. The circles under his eyes kind of detract from the look. And that crooked nose. It’s kind of the first thing you notice—it really takes over his face, like he’s all nose. Overly groomed eyebrows, far too heavy with the foundation, and then that honker. Yeah. He’s no Edward Cullen, that’s for sure.

I can’t believe they’re driving right into a Quiet Zone. You’d think they’d know what a bad idea that is. But then again, these three seem mighty clueless for magicians. Or vampires. Or harpy hybrids. Whatever they are.

It was quick thinking by Edward (I’m just going to call him Edward, it’s easier) to act like it was all a show. That might work for run-of-the-mill Normals. But anyone like me—or a demon in disguise, any Maybe really–wouldn’t be fooled.

Not with them spilling magic like that. I’ve never seen anything like it. Spells, magic fire, the dude bro guy literally flying. (I’m going to call him Kevin, it’s easier.)

It was unreal.

I flash the brights. I don’t know how to get these idiots to pull over. If they’re driving right at it, they’ve got no clue what trouble they’re getting themselves into.

I flash the brights again. The Mustang just speeds up.

Mustangs aren’t made for late night drag races on gravel. I try to stay close behind. They come back onto the main road just before the Henge.

Well, that’s it. Just crossed into the Quiet Zone.

I speed up.

The Mustang practically does a donut as it turns into the parking lot. No idea how to drive either. They need more than some friendly advice–they need a handler. Like a chaperone or something.

I pull up in front of them. Cut the engine and the lights. Get out.

“Hi.”

They don’t trust me but at least they let me get them out of that mess with Jeff Arnold. Never a good idea to cross Jeff or any of his posse.

And I was right about this crew. They are careless. The girl–Penny–she just magicked her way in here, into this hotel room, without a care in the world. Then she cast half a dozen spells on the other two. Simon and Baz. (I’ll have to stop calling them Kevin and Edward in my head.)

Spell after spell, to try to get the skunk funk off. It’s not as bad as it was, I’ll say that. Not as good as it would have been if we’d had tomato soup, but I doubt there’s a spell for bringing bathtubs of soup into existence.

She just cast them all in front of me, like I didn’t even exist. I expect they’re going to try something on me. I wouldn’t put it past them. They’re not masking their distrust, I can tell you that. Not the first time I’ve dealt with that and I’m sure not the last. I’m used to it by now.

These three don’t seem to be following any set playbook, just reacting to situations as they come up. I suppose you could call it resourceful and bold, but that doesn’t fly with the local Maybes or the resident Speakers.

Not the way it’s supposed to be done. There’ll be a reckoning if they don’t watch out.

That’s where I come in, if I can smooth talk them well enough to get past their defenses. Penny’s fierce, I’ll give her that. Put a proverbial knife to my throat while I was driving the getaway car. I don’t know if that’s sheer bravado or stupid desperation. Probably both.

I should be able to bring her around. If she ever lets me get to talking, that is.

They all look like hell. Grubby, exhausted, the faint aroma of skunk still clinging to them.

I’m right about Baz though. He’s a vampire, no question. Took a chestful of shotgun pellets and lived to tell. I don’t know if lived is necessarily the right word.

Survived might be more accurate. I know people call them the undead but I didn’t really believe it until I got up close and personal with this guy. Scrawnier than the Twilight vamps and a lot less sparkly, for one. Almost as fast though, when he was running alongside the truck.

But there’s a weird innocence to him. I don’t know if that’s the right word.

I mean, he’s fierce too. Cold as ice, grimly menacing. Certainly not afraid to play with fire, which seems a bit risky to me, considering.

No qualms about incinerating his own kind, that’s for sure.

I’ve seen vampires before, from a distance. Like the ones at the Faire. They’re pale and arrogant, powerful and vicious.

None of them ever looked quite this lost.

He and Penny collapsed on the bed by the window almost as soon as we got in the room. I hadn’t pegged them as a pair, but it works, I guess, if you squint.

Opposites attract, so they say.

And they are opposites, at least in looks. He’s tall and lanky, pale as the moon, all sharp edges. She’s short and round, warm brown skin, warm brown eyes. At least they’re warm when she’s looking at the two of them. They’re blazing and accusatory when they’re on me, that’s for sure.

Still, they’re nice eyes.

Edward’s—I mean Baz’s—nose is even more noticeable up close. It’s like they fitted him with the wrong size? Like it was made for a much larger person. Someone with a broader face. And it’s too high, like it needs to be shoved down a half inch. That’d probably make the proportions even worse, what with that wide mouth of his.

Was his mouth always that way, I wonder? Or did it get bigger because of the fangs?

I have so many questions.

Doesn’t look like I’m getting any answers tonight. Penny and Baz fall asleep in minutes, not even bothering to get under the covers.

So it’s just me and Winged Victory over here. He’s got his back to the door, like some threatening sphinx guarding the exit.

The sphinx I ran into last March was far more attractive.

I can’t tell if Simon’s got freckles in his acne scars or scars on his freckles. In any event he’s got literal craters on his face. And so many freckles. Big ones, small ones, clusters of them.

It’s like some pint-sized Jackson Pollock shook a paint-laden brush at him. Repeatedly.

I don’t know what to make of him. He was like some Biblical avenging angel, wielding cosplay swords like they were the real thing this afternoon. Staking vampires like it’s his literal job.

I don’t know. Maybe it is.

Simon’s got a scar that runs down across his left eyebrow. Splits it in two, with a little bare patch in the middle. His arms are crossed over his chest at the moment. He’s got scars all over them too--wide, silvery scars. Thin pale ones. Puckered gouges that look like they were left by claws.

He’s glaring at me, but I’m used to that from Maybes. At least until they get to know me.

I just smile back.

read it at ao3

[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

The Fight

Excuse me...You look like you’re around this area pretty often. Three nights ago, did you see a man in a white fedora head into the batting cages?

Hm. Can’t say for sure...What are you a police officer or something...

W-Well...something like that...

Hey, do you have a moment? I’m looking for info on a person. Recently, did you see a blonde man in a white fedora with a pencil mustache and goatee come by here?

Hey, trying to work here missy. Get lost...

Guess that’s not much of a lead...

Excuse me?

Hm? What’s wrong?

Do you have a moment? A few nights ago, a man in a white fedora stopped by the batting cages. Did you perhaps see anything?

Hm...Well, I can’t say I saw a man with anything like that. There’s a lot of people with weird fashion choices like that around these parts. Although...Sorry, how many nights ago exactly was he around?

About three. Why?

Well, I heard some drunkard smacked down a passing civilian that night.

A drunk man knocked someone down?

Yeah, but I don’t think he was hurt too badly. He was screaming angrily about it for half an hour or so though. I’m pretty sure this happened around midnight.

So that night, somebody was assaulted?

I came to check things out myself, but the guy was already long gone by that point.

Any idea who the man who got attacked was?

I could swear I recognized him from somewhere, but...I can’t really tell. He looked mostly like your average jou.

Thanks for your cooperation. Have a good evening sir.

Not much of a lead then...Guess I’d better contact Ms Kirigiri.

[Future Foundation Branch 1. Branch Chief Office]

So, in short, we’re fresh out of leads.

I’m sorry Ms Kirigiri...I tried...

I already told you, Kyoko is fine...

I can’t refer to you so casually after I failed you...

You didn’t fail anyone Shuichi. In the very least, you found out more information than I did.

*Kyoko opens the door to her office.

Hey...

Makoto? I thought you’d have left hours ago...

Sayaka went back home, but I figured if I did the same, I’d just collapse. I did go out for a bit of fresh air though.

So instead, you’re in here, drinking my juice?

Sorry...got thirsty...

Oh well...Are all of the files done, or is there anymore for me to help with.

All done, no worries.

Anyway, how did the investigation go? What’s the situation?

They’ve got Shuichi and I gathering evidence for a murder trial. Turns out Koichi Kizakura went and got himself arrested...

What!?

A member of the Crazy Diamond biker gang organisation was found half-decapitated behind a nightclub.

We dropped by the holding center to talk to him. He claims he’s innocent, so we went around looking for information. We didn’t find anything solid though.

That’s...one hell of a case you’ve got on your hands...Do you need any help with it?

I’m sure we can handle it.

Well, if things get dicey, then let me know. I’ll jump in and help whenever you need.

Will do, thanks.

For now though, I think we should all go home and get some rest. I’m sure you, Maki and Himiko have some catching up to do, right Shuichi?

Yeah, I wonder how they’re going to react to all this...

Goodnight you guys. See you in the morning.

Night...

*The next morning. Kyoko is sitting at her desk in her office spacing out when suddenly she gets a phone call.

Hello? Detective Kyoko Kirigiri of Future Foundation Branch 1?

Um...Hello Ms Kirigiri...It’s me. We met yesterday, do you remember?

Ms Midori Yamaguchi I presume?

Y-Yes, it’s me. Listen, sorry to do this so out of the blue, but I’m currently at a cafe in the city. I can send you the address, so can you and your sidekick meet me there? I have some important information about the case.

A bit impromptu of you Ms Yamaguchi, but very well. I’ll contact Shuichi and meet you there in an hour.

[Unnamed City, Unnamed Cafe, 10:01]

Hey! We’re over here. Pull up a chair.

Officer Shinogi!?

Yep, your good old friendly policeman's here. Sorry if I’m a bother.

It’s not that, just...is there any reason you’re here?

I’m the one with the info. Ms Yamaguchi’s already seen what I’ve shown her...

I figured it would be better if he’s here. He can explain some things that I can’t.

I see. Very well then. Thank you for your cooperation officer.

No prob...

*Shuichi pulls up two chairs, one for him and one for Kyoko.

Ok, so...You guys go first. Did you go to the batting cages?

We asked around that area. Unfortunately, we couldn’t find anyone who could back up Koichi Kizakura’s alibi.

I see. Well, thank you regardless, and good work, both of you.

So, why did you call us out here? Some new info?

Take a look at this...

*Officer Shinogi slides a phone to the two detectives.

The police released this to the public late last night. It’s security camera footage that shows outside the Mighty Anchor.

Mr Kizakura and Mr Isao are both in this video, clear as the sky.

*Midori plays the footage. It shows Kizakura running into a bunch of men in leather jackets, ranging from different sizes. All of them have the same emblem on the back. After learing at each other for a minute or two, Kizakura takes a swing at one of them, and hits him dead in the face. In response, the other gang members start beating down on him, while the one who was punched barks orders at the others and then walks down the street away from the chaos. The footage then shows one of the gang members waving the others inside. The other gang members then drag Kizakura’s brusied body inside the club. Soon after they’re out of sight, panicked people start pouring out of the building. When this is done, Midori pauses the footage.

See that guy beckoning the others into the club? That’s Isao.

I see. This is rock solid evidence of Koichi and the gangs fight.

Hm...I’m already noticing an inconsistency.

What’s that?

When we last spoke to him, Mr Kizakura told me that the fight happened, and the Crazy Diamonds started it.

But it seems that wasn’t the full truth. Kizakura very clearly takes the first swing here. Even if the gang threatened him, it’s clear he’s the one who turned it into a physical brawl.

Yes, you’re right. It’ll be hard for Koichi to talk his way out of this one...

But I have a question. That person with the spiky hair who got punched and started walking away...

Who is he?

About that...That guys name, is Eje Karma. He’s not just a run of the mill member of the gang either. He’s the entire gangs unanimously appointed leader.

He’s...the gangs leader?

Kizakura said as much. He said that their leader had been on the scene with them. Karma’s pretty much the duke of that entire area. He’s such a huge public menace, that even the area’s police are too afraid to go near him.

Be that as it may, I still had him questioned. Didn’t find out anything key though, since he kept dodging the question. Also, at the time, he had several of his goons with him. We wanted to avoid a fight, so we didn’t press for much.

What I’d like to know is how the Crazy Diamonds are able to have such an impact on a whole area. They’re a biker gang, not a yakuza group. Do you suppose they have some kind of hideout in the area?

That must be it. But that’s not all the information that we have.

There’s more?

Yup...This foootage was found at about 10 o’clock, apparently exactly the time Kizakura said this went down. But here’s the thing...I’m about to fast forward the footage to an hour later...

*He does so and the footage shows something else.

What’s going on here?

At this point in time, everyone who was in the bar, except for the barista himself, have left the facility. But an hour after Kizakura’s dragged into the bar, the Barista himself, alongside four other members of the gang, leave the building. That means the only people in the building at this point in time...

Are Koichi Kizakura and Kawaguchi Isao...

Why would Isao decide to stick around?

Who knows? I try not to understand the mentality of thugs like that...

Wait a second...

What?

You said the first footage was recorded at 10pm, and the second was an hour later. That means everyone left the bar and left the two of them alone at 11pm.

But if what the files I’ve read on the case state is true, Isao was murdered at 1am at the earliest and 3am at the latest.

Then there’s a minimum 2 hour gap!

What do you suppose Kizakura and Isao were doing during that wide time frame?

Mr Kizakura told me that as soon as the situation became one on one, he recovered and started fighting back. As soon as he saw an opening, he took it, and won their fight.

But he claims that he just beat him around and knocked him out. He didn’t kill him.

If that’s the case...then what did Kizakura do with Isao’s unconscious body?

I feel if we ask him, he’ll answer by saying he just left him there. However, he claims that that fight was the last time he ever saw Isao, and he also said that he woke up inside the bar after the barista helped him get healthy again. If that’s the case, then clearly he either got up and left, or someone else moved him.

After that, Koichi left the club and headed straight to the batting cages. He burst in and at some point, passed out. He woke up at four in the morning, an hour after the predicted time-frame of death.

Well, I can’t keep playing a case like this too close, since I’m on the local force and whatnot, but I’ve got a thing that could help you find out more about this, Detective.

What’s that Officer?

You see this guy?

*Shinogi points to a certain person in the video footage.

This guy is the barista that runs the nightclub. The police have got him down at the club itself, so you can go down and ask him a few questions.

I see. In that case, we’ll head there right away. Thank you officer.

Good luck Ms Kirigiri. If you find out anything, let me know.

Thank you for your help Ms Yamaguchi and Officer Shinogi.

[csykora]

[A tabby cat curled up in the middle of a bubble hockey board. Or you, being comfortable in an athletic community that’s good enough for you]

Hiiiiii! I’ve been looking at ice hockey and it seems a cool sport and something that I might want to do as a hobby. Only Im disabled. Do you think I could still do the thing? Do you have ideas on how to start doing the thing? Ive often found it hard to do sports because coaches or trainers don’t know shit about disability and so have no clue how to teach you things or what you may or may not be capable of and telling them is useless because they make assumptions about your body and gah. Cheers

Hey—

Yes. Do the thing. Please go do it! I am not your coach, not your trainer, only friendly local bone witch—which I am very annoyed to have to say because you are a great athlete to work with.

Can I point out a couple things you just said?

You’re offering to do a trainer’s homework for them.

The early game didn’t have coaches. People milled on and off in whatever situations they felt like. Coaches and trainers came onto the scene so that someone was keeping track of who was actually good at what, when they needed support, and how to use them to best effect. That’s their whole gig.

Talking to folks on this blog, I’ve learned lots of people have this impression that capital-A Athletes have some factory-settings-standard body, any deviation a disaster (and they themselves can’t be athletes because they don’t.)

I think it’s very useful to smash this idea. Every athlete is a grab bag of weaknesses and weirdnesses, from old injuries down to handedness. Every coach longs to have three right-shot defensemen, and has made peace with the fact they’re not going to get them. Their job is to play with all the mismatched pieces they do have until they fit into a team.

If you present a coach or trainer with information about your abilities, and they don’t want to use that information, the problem you got right there is a shit coach.

Despite what the National League believes, there are more than 32 coaches in the world. 

Throw a stick up here and you’ll hit another amateur coach. When we’re little, if we get a shit coach or PE teacher, we get stuck. That does real and lasting harm, which I am happy to go on at length about, but to flip it around:

Now, you are a big Zee, who wants to learn to play as a hobby, with the goal of having fun. That’s a powerful place to be.

I won’t say there aren’t stakes: you could get hurt, physically or emotionally. Sharing information about your body with other people to try to keep yourself from getting hurt all the time can be hard. Playing can make you feel physically accomplished and capable in your body, which is a deep need I think we all have, so having to back away if a team does turn out to be shit is hard. So I don’t say “you can always quit a team” lightly, but…there is no threat if you quit a shit team, no one (who matters) will get mad or make you go back.That means you can advocate for yourself, and if a reasonable shot at advocacy reveals that a coach isn’t just unfamiliar with how to do their job for someone with your disability but uninterested in doing their damn job for a disabled person, you can wave them farewell and find another.

Now, our goal is for you to find a good trainer, who just needs to be given information about what you (not someone with the ‘same’ condition, but you specifically) have got going on.

I’m going to tell you to look up an adult learn-to-skate program. Most rinks will have regular learn-to-skate and learn-to-hockey programs spaced throughout the year (often paired so you spend “first semester” on skating before the people who want to move up to hockey). Look up different rinks, talk to people about the rink culture and the coaches there. If you have the time, maybe spend a while hanging out there watching the open skates, local team practices or public classes, getting a sense what it’s like and telling yourself you have as much right to be in that barn as anyone else. Then sign up for a class. But first I want you to be devastatingly, Hepburn-ishly confident in talking about what your disability means for you.

From the information you’ve just given me, I don’t know almost anything I would need to work with you. You may or may not know that information about yourself already, but you can figure it out.

“Mild hemiplegia” is not a super-medical phrase. Hemiplegia is complete paralysis on one side of the body, where you are unable to move those muscles on purpose. A mild to moderate loss of muscle strength on one side is hemiparesis.

These terms are, to be honest, mostly used to organize medical literature. They describe very specific signs that might happen for a variety of reasons. Other symptoms like loss of sensation, loss of range of motion, involuntary muscle spasms, or loss/delay of involuntary motion (reflexes), which may or may not occur with plegia/paresis, have to be specified and described. If I were treating you I definitely wouldn’t describe your case as “hemiplegia”, I would call it “hemiparesis” with a lot more descriptive words around that (and I probably wouldn’t use either when talking to you).

It’s not that you used a word wrong. I’m concerned that 1. people have made you think you have to use A Medical Name for your disability for it to be taken seriously, but also 2. because the stroke happened so early, you’ve actually been denied care and opportunities to learn about it.

1. First, for the record, you don’t have to justify your disabled identity to me. And while I really (really) understand the self-protective urge a lot of us have to try to say, “my condition is really real and serious, it has a Real Medical Name, please believe me”, I think that (outside of a legal context where you’re seeking protected accommodations) that strategy often isn’t as useful as we hope it will be to communicate with other people in our daily lives. The people who demand to see your Really Medically Serious card before making accommodations will always find something else to demand, while people who aren’t trying to be assholes will be better able to help you if they know exactly, practically how.

It’s not that one way of talking about your disability is wrong, but I want you to talk about it in ways that are useful to you, that help you connect with other people and get you what you want.

2. I’ve worked with a lot of elders who have paralysis or hemiparesis from strokes later in life, after being able-bodied for most of their lives, and doctors and therapists jump right up in there teaching and training them to “recover” that “lost function”. They/their families can’t not know all the medical words just from hearing them over and over. But what often happens when a person is disabled since childhood is that…they aren’t seen as having “lost capacity” that can be “saved”, but as having a baseline “low level of function” that’ll never change, so much less attention is payed.

I’m using the air quotes because many people’s disabilities are present throughout their whole lives, and someone’s disability or disabled identity is not just a “problem” to be solved or gotten rid of. But people with disabilities grow and change, especially when we’re, you know, children. What often happens is that parents/authorities encourage able-bodied children to play, practicing motions and building up their bodies’ ability to move, while children with disabilities get benched from practice, benched from not just one activity but from being active at all, which means being benched from developing their bodies in the ways that might actually work for them, and from developing relationships with their bodies.

Proprioception, for example, is a combination of some fundamental ability/capacity/threshold/potential/whathaveyou and skill developed through experience that changes in context. Ever seen a baby? None of them know where the hell they are. A baby that can crawl is let loose to explore the world and bump into things that trigger their nerves until their body learns to fit all that sensation information together and use it. A baby that doesn’t crawl for some other reason often doesn’t get a chance to explore, to experience those sensations or train up that skill. And a kid that has a different threshold for stimulation, who naturally seeks out more or less or a different sort, is often stopped from stimming in ways which would provide their body information they could process.

As an adult, you get the chance to look at what you want to do and how your body can do it again.

So…

I want you to go throw a ball at a wall. Try to catch it. If you do any exercises already, sit-ups or pushups, do some of those. Run around the block, jump around on your bed. Stretch or just swing your arms and legs around. Find some small objects to use as weights and lift them, with either arm and then either leg (or set them on the floor and see if you can push them).

Work your way up your body one limb at a time, first thinking just about that limb on its own and then comparing the two sides after you’ve done them both. Don’t put a value judgement on anything yet, just pay attention: if your feet feel okay after running around, if you had more strength in one spot than you expected, if you had fun jumping, if there was a time you thought you might wobble but were able to correct, count that too! Think about each activity you did, the sensations around it, and whether that stim was satisfying, overstimulating, or not stimulating enough.

I want you to be able to go to a learn-to-play program, ask to talk with the coach at an appropriate time during the application or orientation, and say things like, “I have this condition. This is what it means: I have less strength with one arm, but I can move it as fast as the other, and with the same range of motion. I don’t grip items as well with one hand, or I tend to grip very hard. I don’t feel this type of sensation in this area, but I do feel that”.

Your coach is then going to recommend exercises to build strength in particular areas, or modifications to exercises so that you can do them without needing to use a particular area; they might have you try different equipment (find a tape job or adapted hand position that helps you keep hold of your stick, etc), and they may also encourage your towards and start training you for a particular position where you could do the most. When it comes to sensation, they’ll know to watch you closer for injuries in that spot that you might not notice.

This came in while I was applying to go back to university, and I bribed myself through the short essay section by pausing every hour to eat chocolate and sketch out what I would have you do for hypothetical positions and exercise plans. That’s still a long way off, but I’m very invested, so a couple things I want you to think about as you work towards the goal:

Keep sled hockey in mind. It’s not always a fit for people whose disability involves their arms, but it’s a cool community and most rinks will offer clinics where you can try out a sled and get a sense of the game.

How do you feel about getting hit with a puck? From your description, stickhandling and shooting may not be super fun for you. They may be, but if you give them a fair try and start to fee discouraged, try picturing yourself as a defender focussing on positioning or shot-blocking, or a goalie. Some people never ever want to do it, which is fair, but if you’re at all interested I’d love to see you try some time in goal! Everyone’s different but some folks the weight of the pads and the focused role can be really good stimulation. If your handling or footwork doesn’t feel great, goaltending would let you focus on moving your body more naturalistically as a whole to position in front of shots. And everyone else will love you for volunteering!

Write back and tell us how it goes!

[lovelylogans]

cocoa

part of the wyliwf verse.

the sideshire files | read my other fics | coffee?

warnings: mention of puppy mills, dogs, secret-keeping, food mentions, recreational drinking (not to drunkenness) kissing, that’s about it. this one’s mostly fluff, folks.

pairings: moxiety, logince

words: 7,766

notes: bold of you to assume i wouldn’t take the canon dog in gilmore girls WHO WAS ORIGINALLY NAMED COCOA and directly transport it into this verse. picture of the inspiration behind wyliwf!cocoa here as a puppy and here as an adult, btw. she’s a mixed breed, definitely has some chow chow (hence the Fluffy, if u are acquainted w/ mash potato, he is a chow chow) and german shepherd (hence the coloring) along with some other Mystery Breeds in there, so!

thirty-five isn’t exactly a special birthday.

thirty-three, sure, maybe, repeated numbers. thirty? yeah, new decade! but thirty-five—well, it’s just a halfway point, isn’t it? patton doesn’t think there should be much going on in preparation for that. a dinner, a little party/get-together, and patton’d be happy, which he’s told both virgil and logan (and roman, when he wanted an excuse to throw a party.)

so virgil and logan being so evasive over the past couple weeks or so means that patton’s been getting as investigative as logan about what could be going on with the pair of them.

logan, at least, has an excuse—apparently, there was some random, weird deadline for the franklin that logan had run into and had to guide the rest of the staff through—but virgil has just been a little... well, a little strange.

he’s been intent on suddenly patching up the back fence, which he’d been on about when there were rumors of foxes and raccoons getting into trash, but that had been months ago. it seemed like a weird time for this desire to resurface, considering it’s january. there wasn’t really much of a chance of all that when the ground was basically frozen over—patton doesn’t know much about winter habits of foxes and raccoons, but he’s pretty sure they’ve gone for warmer climates, or at least might be sleeping it out.

he’s been reading some kind of articles that he keeps humming at thoughtfully and bookmarking on his phone, patton thinks, except virgil hastily turns off the phone’s screen and turns to smile at patton whenever he tries to peek.

he’s also been furtively ordering things—patton would think it’s birthday presents, except he caught a glance of one of the labels of the boxes and it’s from tiny company that, patton has searched, makes some specialty peanut butter cookies and the like. food is virgil’s thing, he wouldn’t just order it, so maybe patton got the company wrong?

and now...

patton knocks gently on the top of the coffee table, so he doesn’t startle virgil into hitting his head.

“um,” he says. “hey there, honey.”

“hey,” virgil says, forcefully casual.

“can i ask what you’re doing under the coffee table and half under the couch?”

“i, uh,” virgil says, and coughs. “thought i saw something under the couch. cleaning, you know.”

“yeah,” patton says, and settles on the ground. “except you’ve kind of been deep-cleaning the house for the past week.”

“um... yep.”

“i don’t think you could’ve missed something if you’d been trying,” patton says, amused, and reaches out to scratch a little at virgil’s back. the part he can reach, anyway. 

“i’m really deep-cleaning,” virgil says. 

“i kinda figured.”

“really,” virgil says, “really deep-cleaning.”

patton grins, scratches at virgil’s back again. “did you get whatever was under the couch, then?”

virgil withdraws from the couch, an old piece of paper crumpled up in his hands.

“we should really vacuum under the couches more,” virgil says, and patton leans over to kiss his cheek.

“whatever you say, darling.”

(“how do you feel about dogs?”

virgil glances up from where he’s wiping down the counter—logan, in his chilton blue-and-navy, is sitting at his counter.

“uh, i have generally positive feelings toward dogs?” virgil says. “they’re cute. i’ve never had one. wait, aren’t you supposed to be working at the franklin right now, that random deadline, right?”

ever since logan was told he’d be editor-in-chief of the franklin at the end of his junior year, and now that he’s started his senior year and has been at the helm for over five months, he’s been spending lots long afternoons at the school, deep in the journalism lab, fussing over copy and photos and ap style and page design. virgil’d be worried about him overworking himself, but he knows that mel can, has, and will kick him out if he sticks around for too long, plus dee is there to antagonize him into getting distracted, along with some other chilton friends swinging in and out.

“i made it up,” logan says. “it’s going to be a cover story.”

“a cover story,” virgil repeats slowly. “right. okay. for what?”

logan hesitates, glances around, and says, in a lowered voice to avoid eavesdroppers, “dad’s birthday is in two weeks.”

“right,” virgil says slowly. 

“i think we should get him a dog.”

virgil pauses, before he sets aside the rag. “a dog,” he repeats.

“yes,” logan says. “a dog. a canine. canis lupus familiaris.”

“why a dog?” virgil says. “i mean, i know patton wanted one when he was a kid, but, well. your grandparents.”

logan hesitates, just for a moment, before he says, “i’m graduating in may.”

virgil knows this. virgil has had several crises about it. virgil has sat with patton through his various crises about it. virgil could not possibly be more aware that logan is, in fact, about to leave the nest.

“yeah,” he says.

“well,” logan says. “i’d have suggested a cat if he wasn’t allergic, but. he’s been used to taking care of someone or something for all this time. once i’m gone... it just. it might be a good way to cope, that’s all.”

“like the exact reversal of getting a dog to prepare for having kids,” virgil says, starting to get it. “getting a dog to deal with not having a kid around as much anymore.”

“yes. precisely.”

virgil considers this—he considers him and patton in the house, alone. and then he pictures a dog, big, small, medium, resting its head in patton’s lap, patton petting the dog, hugging it. taking the dog for walks and training it—well. it would be hard work. it would be a lot of energy. it’d be a commitment for however long the dog would be alive.

but it would be a comfort, too.

“all right, then. it’s time for me to start researching dogs, i guess.”

“oh, i’ve been researching breeds and training methods and house preparation and shelters in our area for a month now,” logan says briskly, and reaches into his backpack to take out a binder, and virgil really doesn’t know what he’d expected.)

...

(“hey,” virgil says, as logan slides into the passenger’s seat of his car. “how was school?”

“good,” logan says. “i had a pop quiz in latin, i think i did relatively well on it.”

“nice,” virgil says, and pulls out of the parking spot.

this is their second time visiting an animal shelter—they’d dropped by the sideshire one, but realized that they wouldn’t really be able to keep an adoption of an animal secret at home, especially considering that patton sometimes volunteered to walk the dogs there. this time, they were going to a place closer to the city that logan’s research assured them was humane, a nonprofit society, and took part in raids against illegal puppy mills and dog fighting rings—all in all, virgil thought it seemed like a pretty standup shelter.

“okay,” virgil says, as they’re pulling into a parking spot at the shelter. “and we do have a plan for if we find The Dog today, right?”

“they’ll hold a pet for you up to a certain point,” logan says. “i’ve asked mrs. prince and roman, and they said that if we had to bring the dog home earlier than anticipated, they’d be willing to house it.”

virgil nods, absorbing this, and gets out of the car.

“right, then,” virgil says. “let’s go see some dogs.”

they see some dogs. they see a lot of dogs.

they, eventually, see the dog. she’s tiny, and absurdly fluffy, and she eagerly attempts to institute herself in their laps the moment they sit down, demanding pets and treats and love, and she’s too cute for words. she snuffles at them eagerly and wags her tail so hard virgil kind of fears that she’ll fall over to the side, but she’s so energetic she’d probably bound up again immediately, wagging her tail even faster. she’s got big, clumsy paws, and big ears, and a too-long tail, and big, chocolate brown eyes that she’ll probably grow into. when she licks at his chin, he's basically sold immediately.

“virgil,” logan says, in the midst of petting the puppy, examining her temporary plastic collar. “look at her name.”

virgil leans enough to check the little paper sheet full of the information on the outside of the weird room-crate things this shelter’s got going on, and lets out a low whistle. 

“right, then,” virgil says. “that’s that.”

“we have a dog,” logan says, with a smile that he hasn’t quite tamped down—virgil realizes, belatedly, this is logan’s first pet outside of the occasional goldfish and smuggled-in-from-the-outdoors frog or turtle, and maybe all the face-licking and snuffling and puppy eyes had sold logan, too.

“we have a dog,” virgil agrees.)

“oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh!!!!” patton hears roman squealing from where he’s in the kitchen, and patton leans his head out in time to see roman holding logan’s phone and cooing.

“what’s up?” patton says, toting the two bowls of popcorn he’d been in charge of preparing and settling back down on the couch next to virgil, and roman and logan both look up from the phone, roman grinning.

“oh—nothing,” roman says, and passes logan’s phone back to him. “just a cute, um, dance picture thing, s’all.”

“can i see?” patton asks.

“it was a snapchat,” roman says. “faded away after ten seconds.”

“oh, darn,” patton says. “what movie were we going to watch, again?”

“maybe we should watch lassie,” roman says, voice in that faux-innocent tone he’s been using when he’s up to mischief for years, and logan elbows him hard in the side. patton looks to virgil, confused.

“did i miss something?”

“maybe best if you don’t ask,” virgil advises him, and patton nods, taking a handful of popcorn.

...

patton’s decided to take a page from his son’s book and keep notes about things he’s noticed that are Weird, partially because he’s bored and partially because he’s now very interested in whatever’s going on here.

there’s the whole fence thing, as virgil had spent a good chunk of his saturday hauling out his and patton’s shared toolbox and grumbling irritably at the fence as he patches up holes and makes sure nothing can get into the backyard, sometimes retreating back into the house to stick his hands somewhere on patton’s person in order to warm up and drinking tea before he went back out there.

(“does this seem secure enough to hold a puppy?” virgil asks logan, when he comes out to the yard. “i mean, she’s really small, but she probably couldn’t fit through any of these holes, right? plus she’s growing.”

“she’ll be on a leash most of the time, anyway,” logan points out.

“i know, but—”

“virgil. the fence is fine.”)

he’s also hidden a variety of boxes away somewhere, labels that he’ll cover with his hands and say “don’t look don’t look birthday surprise!” which only makes patton want to look even more, and really, patton doesn’t think he’s a person that virgil needs to get several boxes of gifts for, so he’s dying to figure that one out when the time comes.

(“how does a dog require so much stuff?” logan says disbelievingly, sorting through the latest incoming purchase. “is this order just entirely collars?”

“harnesses, too, but she’ll grow out of them!” virgil says. “so we’ll have ones for when she does, i’m planning.”

“you’re going to spoil this dog,” logan says. “you’ve bought her bandanas.”

“look me in the eyes and tell me that patton wouldn’t love to accessorize his dog with bandanas,” virgil says, pointedly ignoring the suspiciously familiar black bandana with purple plaid stitched on with thick white thread that logan shakes at him accusingly.)

the whole deep-cleaning-the-house thing hasn’t stopped, and sure, it’s nice and tidy, but really, there’s only so much deep cleaning you can do before you can pronounce a two-bedroom, one-and-a-half bath house with one bedroom he wouldn’t go into, considering it’s logan’s room, fully clean, right?

(“i know puppies chew on things, but virgil, this is getting ridiculous,” logan says. “you’ve puppy-proofed the entire house at least five times. if she chews on something at this point, she’s to be commended for her creativity.”

“i just want to be sure she doesn’t choke on anything,” virgil says.

“i am positive the puppy won’t chew on old paper,” logan says pointedly. “and even if she does, if it isn’t a huge thing of paper, she’ll be fine.”

“don’t come crying to me when she throws up in your room, then.”)

he keeps going to the town library? sure, virgil’s a reader—not as much as logan, but maybe no one could ever be as much of a reader as logan is—but usually he brings books home and sets them on the bedside table and reads them gradually, over the course of a few days, but a few people have mentioned to him that they’ve seen virgil in the library, he’s reading books there and not at home, though no one’s really seen exactly what he’s reading.

(“what... is that?”

“um. it—apparently, it’s—i read that if we give her a hot water bottle and a ticking clock near her sleeping area, it imitates the heat and heartbeat of her littermates and helps her get acclimated to her environment better, so—so it’s a clock. for her.”

“virgil. you went out and bought a clock. for the dog.”

“okay, look, whose idea was it to get a dog in the first place?!”

“i haven’t bought a clock for the dog!”)

and now—

“babe,” patton says, dragging his fist across his still-sleepy-bleary eyes and settling his glasses on his nose, and virgil jumps before he pivots.

“hey!” virgil says. “i—sorry, did i wake you up?”

“no, just woke up and saw the time and wondered where you were,” patton says. he’d like to be coordinated about his affection, but he is very sleepy, so he just plods over to virgil and, essentially, walks straight into him until virgil wraps his arms around him with a soft laugh.

“sorry,” virgil murmurs, and kisses his temple. “i’ll be right up, i promise.”

patton peeks around his shoulder, and says, “was filling up some kind of new cookie jar really a huge priority, this time of night?”

“i—no,” virgil admits. “i just kind of got into the swing of doing dishes and wiping down the table and i ended up—well. filling up a new cookie jar.”

“i didn’t even know we got a new cookie jar,” patton says.

“surprise,” virgil says. patton reaches forward, intending to steal one of these apparently-good-enough-to-stay-up-past-midnight-for cookies, and virgil quickly closes a hand over patton’s wrist.

“um, probably not a best idea at this time of night,” virgil says. “sugar’ll keep you up.”

“that is a blatant lie,” patton says, and virgil leans down to kiss him again—quick, almost chaste.

“then it’ll be too much of a fuss to brush your teeth again,” virgil says, and sets the lid on the top of the jar before physically turning patton around. “let’s get to bed, yeah?”

“you’re being weird,” patton says, then decides, “i’ll deal with it in the morning.”

except in the morning, like it’s some kind of strange fever dream, the new cookie jar’s gone.

(”why did you decide to fill up the jar with dog treats in the middle of the night,” logan hisses at virgil as virgil’s making breakfast, logan looking for somewhere to hide the jar before patton comes downstairs, and ends up cramming it in the cupboard under the sink.

“it just happened!” virgil says defensively.)

...

the thing about instituting house rules for birthdays is that they tend to get thrown back at you.

“but i can—“

“no,” virgil says, from where he’s double-checking that the streamers will stay up if someone leans against the wall. “house rules. it’s your house, you know them.”

“virgil,” patton grumbles. “you wouldn’t be ruining my birthday if i helped with my decorations—”

“nope,” virgil says. “if i wasn’t allowed to cook on my birthday, you’re not allowed to decorate.”

patton sinks back against the couch with a huff, crossing his arms.

it’s been a very nice birthday, generally speaking. virgil made a massive breakfast, eggs and hashbrowns and bacon and biscuits and chocolate croissants and donuts, and didn’t monitor his hot cocoa/coffee consumption, for once, and logan and roman had swung by for breakfast before swinging out again (“i’m under oath,” roman had said solemnly, when patton asked them what they were up to) and they still haven’t come back, even though the party’s due to start in ten minutes.

once virgil has triple-checked everything, and fetched patton a glass of wine, he tugs patton to his feet and wraps his arms around him, smiling down at him.

“hi,” patton says, not quite able to keep the grudging tone he’d been trying to go for.

“hey,” virgil says. “happy birthday.”

a smile breaks out on patton’s face, even when he’s very sure he’d tried not to let that happen. “you’ve told me that already.”

“and i’ll probably say it again,” virgil says, and he leans down to kiss patton, and kiss him, warm and soft and the best kind of overwhelming, and patton really regrets having to break the kiss in order to breathe, but he very much likes the small, needy, breathless sound that virgil makes when he does.

the doorbell rings, and patton groans, leaning his head against virgil’s chest.

“the timing of whoever’s at the door,” he informs virgil’s sternum, “is terrible.”

virgil snorts and drops a kiss to the top of patton’s head, and patton reluctantly disentangles himself from virgil in order to answer it.

he really should have expected who it is.

“patton,” his father says. “happy birthday.”

“thanks, dad, mom,” patton says, and steps aside so that they can file into his house.

“hi richard, emily,” virgil says. “do you want something to drink?”

“stoli on the rocks with a twist, if you can manage it,” emily says.

“richard? oh, patton, here’s your wine,” virgil adds, pushing the glass into his hands again.

richard requests scotch.

“i can—”

“absolutely not,” virgil says, and presses a kiss to his cheek. “stay out here in case anyone comes to the door, yeah?”

patton sighs, and does.

the party fills up in waves—isadora and emily are engaging in some kind of silent stare-off in the corner as richard has, once again, escaped from a party with a magazine in hand—and soon enough, patton’s busy entertaining people and making the rounds. it fills up so slowly that patton almost doesn’t notice until he ducks back into the kitchen to check on virgil, how chaotic it is, how it’s just a bit too noisy—he thinks that most of the inn’s employees have shown up, as well as his friends and neighbors from throughout sideshire. 

and when he gets into the kitchen, the quiet nearly overwhelms him. patton has to lean against a counter and let out a slow breath when it hits him.

virgil glances up from where he’s been topping off some snack bowls, and sets them aside.

“hey there,” he says, and drops a kiss on top of patton’s head—patton’s cheeks flush, feeling warmer than he already is, and he beams up at him.

“hi,” patton says.

“having fun?”

"mhm,” patton says, and winds his arms around virgil. “missing my fella, though.”

virgil smiles down at him, soft, and brushes a curl off his forehead. 

“i have had,” patton informs him, “some wine.”

virgil’s grin grows a bit more wry. “that so?”

“i haven’t caught anyone at it, but someone keeps filling up my glass and i suspect remy,” patton says. 

“yeah, he would,” virgil grumbles.

“i’ll understand what’s going on between you two someday,” patton says—the slightly-joking-but-not-really rivalry between them has bemused patton for years now.

virgil snorts, once. patton’s about to poke fun at him a bit more, but there’s the chime of a text message, and virgil digs his phone out of his pocket.

“it’s logan,” he says. “i’m just gonna make sure that he’s got your surprise all set.”

“it has to be brought into the house?” patton says, and blinks up at him. “but what about all those boxes?”

“you’ll see,” virgil says, and twines his fingers with patton’s, tugging him out into the living room. patton gets parked soundly on the couch. 

“wait here.”

“for my surprise?”

“for your surprise,” virgil confirms, and patton squeezes virgil’s hand tight before he lets him go. 

“a surprise?” dot, his neighbor, asks.

“in five or so minutes,” patton says. “or, whenever virgil and logan come back, i guess.”

“oh, the surprise,” babette says, and winks at morey—neither of them holding cinnamon, which is strange, considering their cat comes with them everywhere. “morey, the surprise is coming.”

“you know what it is?”

“know what what is?” sookie asks, looking up from the tray of canapés she’s brought and is still experimenting with. 

patton’s distantly aware that other people are disrupting their own conversations in order to turn attention to his, but he can’t really care right now.

“my birthday surprise,” patton tells sookie. “virgil’s been acting weird for the past couple weeks, and apparently all the investigative skills in the family went to logan, because i’ve been trying to figure it out and i’ve got zilch.”

“well, it is a surprise,” sookie says reasonably. 

“babs?”

“sorry, sugar,” babette says, and patton sighs. just a little.

“well, i’ll find out soon, i guess,” patton says.

...

“hey,” virgil says.

“hello,” logan says, holding tight to the leash; the puppy is teething at the leash, too, still attempting to walk forward even though logan’s come to a stop. 

“hi,” roman adds, holding the box that virgil had gotten specifically for this. 

there’s a bit of weight on virgil’s shoe—the puppy’s come forward, set her little paws on his boots, and is sniffing eagerly at his jeans.

“hi,” virgil says (he does not coo) and leans down to pet her, scratching behind her ears, before he glances up to see roman grinning at him.

virgil coughs, and says, gruff, “here, give me the leash, i can get her ready for the surprise.”

logan hands over the leash, and roman sets down the box, before he digs out—

“seriously?”

“if you’re getting a dog as a birthday present, you have to put a bow around her neck, it’s practically the law,” roman says. virgil sighs and snatches it away.

“fine, fine,” he says. “go inside, text me when everything’s all set.”

roman takes logan’s hand, and logan pulls him toward the house; there’s a swell of music as the front door opens, then closes.

“okay,” virgil tells the dog. “um. so, you’re about to meet patton.”

the puppy continues to chew at her leash, still looking at him with her chocolate brown eyes.

“patton’s the best,” he tells her. “and he’s gonna love you, and we’re—you know. we’re gonna take care of you, and—and we’ve never taken care of a dog before, but we managed to raise a kid okay, and you’ve never lived with humans before, so we’re both new at this. we’ll do the best we can. okay?”

the dog tilts her head.

“i’m talking to a puppy,” virgil mutters, and shakes his head. “right, then. let’s get you all set.”

he puts the puppy into the box—it’s got a lid and a box, both separately wrapped, it has a blanket in the bottom, and cut-out handles so that virgil can carry her, and so that she gets air—and carefully removes her leash.

“comfy?” he asks.

she sits.

“good girl,” he murmurs, because reinforcing praise is important, and pets her for a bit. he looks at the bow roman had given him—big and red, of course—before he carefully ties it to her collar. she attempts to nip at it, before virgil wiggles his fingers in front of her face, distracting her.

“okay,” virgil says. “we can just sit here and wait until logan or roman texts us, yeah? and i can just keep petting you.”

so he does—at once point, virgil’s practically in the box with her because it turns out the puppy very much likes belly rubs, but it also turns out that fingers are, potentially, the best teething tool of all time (virgil is familiar with this, but it’s been about sixteen or so years since logan’s needed to chew at his fingers) so she is very conflicted between letting virgil scratch her belly and chewing at virgil’s fingers. 

virgil’s phone buzzes, and virgil removes a hand in order to check—logan’s said He’s ready—and leans in to peek at the puppy.

“okay,” he says. “i’m gonna put the lid on, and i’m gonna carry you around for a little, but you’ll be out of the box soon, okay? and you’ll meet patton, who i’m sure will spoil you rotten and pet you until you’re sick of it.”

she wags her tail.

“cool,” virgil says, and carefully sets the lid on the box, and even more carefully picks up the box, making sure that the box stays level.

before he has to consider how he’s going to hold this (frankly kind of absurdly too big) box and open the door, roman opens the door for him, grinning. also, he’s holding his phone horizontally, which means he’s definitely recording this.

patton’s smiling, but there’s a curious glint in his eyes as virgil shuffles slowly forward, very conscious of the tiny little puppy in the box that he doesn’t want to jostle.

the people at the party have also ringed around the room—babette and morey, who have remembered not to bring cinnamon, since he doesn’t know how the puppy will react to a cat, dot and larry, sookie and michel, and emily has somehow managed to pull richard away from his magazine, among everyone else—watching as virgil carefully sets the box at patton’s feet.

"logan just told me that the deadline was a cover story,” patton tells virgil. “you’re in trouble.”

virgil grins. “all of this was logan’s idea in the first place, actually. i thought it was a real deadline too until he brought me in on it.”

patton huffs, put-upon. “well,” he says airily, and elbows logan jokingly, “this better be a good surprise, then.”

“open it and see,” virgil says.

patton leans forward, and begins to pry off the lid. virgil waits with bated breath. 

as soon as he gets the lid off and seems to catch a glimpse of what’s inside, patton squeals in shock, jerking away from the box, and for a second virgil thinks they’ve horribly miscalculated and patton’s actually afraid of dogs, but that’s before he leans right back forward again and reaches down to pet the puppy.

“hi,” patton croons, and then he starts to giggle—before he puts his hands over his face, before he peeks out again, like he was checking to be sure that the puppy wasn’t a hallucination and that she wouldn’t disappear as soon as he took his eyes off her. and then he looks at virgil, eyes bright and eager and excited, laughing the whole time.

“is this real?!” patton demands between giggles. 

“of course it’s real,” logan says, and patton puts his hands over his face for a second, before leaning back forward and reaching down to pet the dog.

“oh my god, oh my god, oh my god,” patton repeats, and, with a jolt, virgil realizes that he’s crying, and patton meets eyes with him, beaming hugely, and virgil feels some kind of unnameable emotion swell up in his chest—the closest he can get to identifying it is joy.

“hello,” patton repeats to the puppy, then, to virgil, “can i hold it?”

“do whatever you want, she’s your dog,” virgil points out, unable to stop his own smile.

“she’s a girl?”

“she’s a girl,” logan confirms, “ten weeks old,” and patton carefully reaches in, still giggling all the while, and carefully hoists the dog into his lap, therefore bringing the dog into the view of the rest of the room, which makes a variety of gasping, cooing noises that are really exactly what a surprise puppy deserves.

“oh my gosh,” patton repeats, and giggles even louder when the puppy sniffs at his face, and licks the tears off his cheeks. “oh, my gosh, hi there, sweetheart!”

the puppy squirms, and patton adjusts his grip, staring.

“she’s so fluffy,” he says in awe. “oh, my gosh, she’s like a teddy bear, look at how fluffy she is!”

the puppy is, indeed, very fluffy, and very stuffed-animal-esque in her adorable-ness, and patton sniffles, burying his face in her fur, just for a moment. the puppy wiggles a little, in order to keep licking and sniffing at patton, so patton resurfaces after a few seconds, crying harder than ever.

patton’s grinning, so virgil’s pretty sure he’s crying because he’s happy, but he wants to be sure, so—

“do you like her?” virgil asks hesitantly.

“i love her,” patton sobs, and virgil climbs onto the couch, so that he can wrap an arm around patton’s shoulders and kiss him on the cheek.

“i can’t believe you got me a puppy,” patton chokes out, and sniffles noisily, before pressing a kiss to the puppy’s forehead and settling her on his lap. 

“logan, technically, campaigned for you to get a puppy, i was just the one who was legally able to adopt her,” virgil says, and patton turns to logan, smiling.

“you should check her collar,” logan suggests, before patton can get any more emotional than he already is.

“her collar?” patton says.

“her name,” virgil elaborates. “which the shelter gave her and you can change it, if you want to, but—”

“you won’t want to,” logan says. 

patton adjusts the bow, and takes hold of the little temporary tag virgil’s gotten her, before they can register her with the vet near sideshire and make sure that they’ve got record of all her shots and the fact that she’s been spayed and microchip her so on, and takes a moment to read it. his jaw drops.

“no way,” he says.

“way,” virgil says. 

“her name is cocoa?” patton gasps. “that’s perfect!”

“told you,” logan murmurs.

“hi, cocoa!” patton croons to the puppy, holding her up in a way that’s vaguely reminiscent of lion king, except it’s at face-level and looking toward him. “hi there, my sweet girl! are you cocoa? i think you are!”

cocoa wriggles in protest, attempting to lean forward and lick patton’s face, and patton holds her tight in his arms, face just glowing, and yeah, wow, this was an amazing idea, go logan.

“so you’re definitely okay with the surprise pet,” virgil checks, and patton laughs, leaning forward to kiss him, the puppy attempting to free herself from between them, and it’s one of those amazing, perfect moments that virgil will keep with him forever, not to sound sappy or anything.

the party’s basically permanently derailed, after that.

people approach the puppy in groups, which means that virgil learns a bit more about cocoa: she likes fetch, but only for one or two throws before she gets distracted by something else. she really likes it when you scratch her neck, under her collar, because her back leg starts doing that thumping thing that dogs do when you’ve hit the sweet spot. she likes to play tug of war, which is normal, but she grabs onto pant legs with her teeth and clings even as she gets dragged around the room, so they’ll have to train her out of that. 

he also hasn’t really been able to seen her walk around a room, but since she’s got stubby little puppy legs and too-big paws that she needs to grow into, she practically waddles, which is both hilarious and adorable, and virgil witnesses her trip over her paws a couple times, which is cute, even if his heart stops and he half-lunges toward her in the time that it takes for her to re-establish her balance, tail wagging, and continue happily toddling along her intended path.

patton’s attention to most of the rest of the party is lost, too, since he keeps sitting on the floor and playing with the puppy, following her from group to group and randomly bursting into giggles at the sight of her doing something even slightly adorable, which, considering she is a very cute dog, is very often. he occasionally leans down to scoop her up into her arms and kiss her, which, well, virgil remembers him doing something similar with logan when logan was first able to walk reliably enough but still stumbling every few steps, so he probably shouldn’t be surprised.

patton is also half the reason the puppy is getting introduced to everyone. case in point:

“this is your grand-dog,” patton tells emily cheerfully, holding cocoa out in a way that emily would be able to take him. “you can hold her, she’s very light and very soft and very fluffy.”

emily looks like she’s about to decline the offer, like she doesn’t want cocoa to shed all over her fancy skirtsuit, before she sees virgil mouthing hold the goddamn dog behind patton’s head. she sighs, but she holds the dog, in a way that clearly denotes that she has never held a dog before—hands under cocoa’s armpits, letting her legs dangle in the air.

she stares at cocoa. cocoa stares at her, legs paddling in the air.

“you can hold her like a baby,” patton says helpfully, “that’s okay too” and emily adjusts her grip accordingly. 

and then she just. holds the dog. she doesn’t pet cocoa or anything. she’s just holding cocoa like a baby.

“isn’t she cute?!” patton says happily.

“...certainly,” emily says stiffly.

“i love her,” patton says.

“hmph,” she says, “well,” and passes cocoa back to patton, before she swipes her hands across her jacket, attempting to discard the fur.

“i’m gonna introduce her to dad,” patton says happily, and goes off to find richard as emily continues to sweep her hands across her shirt.

virgil digs the lint roller out of his hoodie, and holds it out.

"ah,” she says.

she brushes it along, and, once she’s satisfied, she moves to hand it back, before she pauses.

“where did you get this dog?” she asks suspiciously, as if virgil has specifically gotten a flea-infested rabid dog for the sole purpose of getting her to hold it, so it can infect her.

“a shelter,” virgil says.

“which one?” she says. “is it reputable?”

“you were on their donor wall,” virgil says, non-chalant. “so i’d sure hope so.”

she pulls a face at him—well, the emily equivalent of pulling a face. so, virgil one, emily zip.

“what breed is she?”

“german shepherd, chow mix,” virgil says mildly. “there’s some other breeds in there too, we think, but—”

“you should have gone to a breeder.”

“she was a rescue from a puppy mill,” virgil says, even more mildly, “so—“

emily sighs, long and irritated, before she says doubtfully, “it was logan’s idea to get a dog.” 

“yep, it was,” virgil says.

“why would logan suggest a dog?” emily says, and virgil glances around—richard is holding the dog slightly better, and tilting his head at it with the same curiosity that he does at a headline about “the youths.” 

“he’s worried about patton empty-nesting in the fall,” virgil says. “he wanted to be sure that patton still had something to take care of, so. dog.”

“and that was logan’s idea,” she says. “not yours.”

“...yeah,” virgil says.

“you must have had some other idea for patton’s birthday,” she says, as if doubting that virgil has not masterminded the whole dog plot and cocoa will eventually be trained into a vicious attack dog that specifically goes for white people in the upper tax bracket, or something, as if she is not currently chasing a ball tossed by richard, and then she slides and wipes out in a hilarious fashion before scrambling back onto her paws, tail wagging, panting eagerly, looking like the clumsiest and least threatening dog that had ever lived.

and virgil thinks about the jewelry stores he’s got listed in his private notes, the inspiration rings he’s got saved in about seven randomly named, nested folders on his password-protected laptop that you can’t find without searching for it specifically, the budget that he’s already schemed out, the various ideas that he’ll probably ask logan to help fine-tune, and he shrugs.

“nothing that can’t wait.”

...

patton’s still kind of in shock, but, like, the best kind of shock.

because. he has a dog. he has a dog!!! the surprise is a puppy!

she’s adorable! patton loves her already! whenever he looks at her it feels like his heart is made of melty gooey marshmallows! 

“no cocoa baby don’t eat that,” patton says, gently removing a piece of wrapping paper from her mouth. she attempts to follow it, despite the fact that he puts it out of her reach, and he puts a dog toy (virgil has been pulling out absurd amounts of dog supplies from every hidden nook and cranny in the house since the party ended) in her line of sight instead, squeaking it. cocoa takes that instead, lying down with a little thump, gnawing it at it.

“so, the way i get you to follow your own house rules is to give you a puppy,” virgil says, amused, picking up the wrapping paper and putting it in the trash bag that he’s filling with trash from the party, “got it.”

patton grins up at him sheepishly. “i could help if you—”

“nope,” virgil says, “absolutely not,” and runs his fingers through patton’s hair, scratching gently at his scalp, before he goes to sweep the coffee table of discarded paper plates and napkins.

“god, she’s so cute,” roman gushes, from where he and logan are sitting across from patton, the three of them kind of boxing cocoa in, but she doesn’t seem to mind. “i love her floppy little ears, and her big ol’ eyes, and her fluffy perfect face—”

“she is an aesthetically pleasing dog,” logan agrees. 

she is. she’s varying shades of brown, fawn and chocolate and chestnut and coffee and taupe, with a splash of white on her chest. her ears are a gradient of the varying shades of brown, and her snout is the same dark color as the edges of her ears. her fluff levels are truly off the charts, and she has pink little beans for toes, and her eyes are so soulful that patton’s genuinely going to get beaten out in the “best-puppy-dog-eyes-in-the-house” competition, though he passively wonders if she still counts considering she is a puppy dog, but—

“jeez, logan, you don’t have to be so sentimental about it,” roman teases.

cocoa squeaks her toy in agreement. it’s shaped like a mallard, with a goofy, cartoonish grin on its bill. 

gradually, naturally, the conversation dies down, and they’re all left in a companionable silence, except for the occasional murmur of “you comfy?” between his son and his son’s boyfriend, and patton softly entreating cocoa with a variety of pet-centric nicknames that he can barely make sense of—sweet girl, fuzzyface, sugarbun, marshmallow, kissyface—and eventually, cocoa flops onto her side and snoozes with a variety of tiny puppy snoring noises, and patton’s heart’s so full it feels like it might burst.

and once the house is relatively clean (a bit impossible to be fully clean, with the clutter that’s so ingrained into the house it’s practically a piece of furniture, patton barely notices it anymore) virgil settles onto the ground with patton with a soft huff, and briefly leans his head against patton’s shoulder, before pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“good birthday?”

“amazing birthday,” patton corrects. “fantastic birthday. really spectacular birthday.”

virgil smiles, just a little. “good.” a pause, and then, “late, though.”

patton stifles his smile—virgil fussing about food and caffeine intake and about his sleep schedule has really been happening for as long as they’ve known each other. “you’re right,” he agrees. “i—d’you think cocoa needs to go out?”

“probably,” virgil agrees. “i’ll go with you.”

patton nods, and reaches out to scoop cocoa into his arms—she stirs a little, before settling in his arms just like a slumbering baby, and okay, patton might cry a little, she’s so cute?!

“remember to sleep out in the living room,” patton reminds. “don’t stay up too late, kids.”

he gets “we won’ts” that he’s not sure how close they’ll stick to, and a “happy birthday” from roman and a hug from his son, as virgil trails him toward the backyard. patton descends the patio steps, before he carefully places cocoa, paw-first, onto the grass. she folds herself up and it seems like she’s content to continue sleeping in the grass.

“no,” patton scolds, in a half-laugh, putting her on her paws again. “c’mon, puppy, do your business, and then you can sleep for as long as you want.”

cocoa seems to sigh, before she toddles forward a few steps, nose firmly stuck to the grass to sniff and investigate, and arms come around patton’s waist. patton smiles, leaning back into the warmth of it—january birthdays meant sometimes white birthdays, which were cool, but the cold was just something else—tilting his chin a little, and virgil obligingly presses a kiss to his cheek.

“you’re seriously good with the surprise pet,” virgil checks, and patton huffs a laugh, leaning back against virgil’s chest and securing his grip on virgil’s wrists, to keep him there.

“i’m seriously good with the surprise pet,” patton promises, and he feels virgil’s warm breath of relief against his ear.

“okay, cool,” virgil says, and admits, “i figured you probably would be cool with a dog, generally, since you walk dogs at the shelter a lot, but—”

“i love her,” patton says, leaning a little to see virgil’s face. “thank you.”

virgil flushes, and patton doesn’t think it’s just because of the cold.

“it was logan’s idea,” he mumbles.

“i know,” patton says, and then, “did he tell you why?”

virgil hesitates, before he shrugs. “empty-nesting,” he says.

“ah,” patton says quietly.

the fact that his baby is going to college has been on his mind every single day, since logan first got back his test scores and started sketching out plans at the kitchen table. patton’s been with him to visit a few colleges, and he’s—well, kids grow up, right? that’s what they’re supposed to do.

it doesn’t mean that the idea doesn’t make patton sad and anxious and really eager for some way to slow down time, too.

patton shakes himself, and says, “his idea, huh?”

“yep.”

patton starts to smile again, and he says, “i bet it wasn’t his idea to get her specialty peanut-butter treats, though.”

“...no.”

“or a ton of bandanas for her to wear. including a custom one that looks like your hoodie.”

“...well—”

“or the tons of harnesses and collars, or the big bed that we aren’t fully sure she’ll grow into, or all the toys, or—”

“i get it, i get it,” virgil grumbles. patton leans up to peck a quick kiss to his lips, turning more fully in his arms and wrapping his arms around virgil’s neck.

“i love that about you,” he says.

“what?” virgil says. 

“you’re a carer,” patton says. “you’re all gruff and grumbly on the outside, but if you see someone who needs help or needs to be taken care of, you’re all like, oh yes, of course, here’s this friends and family discount, what do you mean it’s brand new, this has always been here, or inviting them to your family’s christmas, or helping take care of their son, or offering couches to crash on and shoulders to cry on.”

patton pauses, and allows, smiling, “or cleaning up the house to make sure that they won’t find anything they’ll accidentally choke on, or patching up the fence so she can’t get out and nothing can get in, or doing secret research at the town library.”

and virgil’s flush definitely isn’t from the cold. virgil swallows, and says, in a voice that’s just a little bit shy and quiet, “it’s your birthday.”

“i know,” patton says simply. “i’m allowed to be sappy on my birthday.”

“course you are,” virgil says, and patton leans up to kiss him, before he turns back to squint out at the lawn. or at least, he means to.

because virgil’s fingers around his wrist prevent him from doing that, and before patton can ask, virgil’s bending just a little to press their lips together, cupping his face between both of his hands, and patton feels his heart do that happy little flutter it always seems to do around virgil. patton sighs, and if his eyes weren’t closed—when had he done that?—he’d be sure that it’d be a puff of steam in the cold air. virgil takes advantage of it, pressing in, so overwhelming but so gentle and patton can only wrap his arms around virgil’s neck and hang on tight.

when they part, patton blinks up at him, dizzy and dazed in the best kind of way.

“what was that for?”

“i’m allowed to kiss you on your birthday,” virgil teases him, smirking just a bit, and patton grins right back, hoping it looks as full of promise as he wants it to be. he leans in to kiss him again, but he’s interrupted by the sound of soft snuffling at their feet, and they both glance down.

cocoa’s staring up at them with an expression she could have gotten straight from logan—like, really, dads?

“okay, okay,” patton allows with a slight laugh, bending to pick her up again. “good girl, we get it, we can go back inside.”

virgil does lean in and give him a kiss over cocoa’s head, though, and patton beams at him with his arms full of fluffy, ten-week-old dog.

they climb the stairs, and virgil moves to the closet, and patton collapses onto the bed, letting cocoa down. she paces a few circles, before she curls up into a cozy-looking ball.

virgil glances back, and says, “patton.”

“what?” patton says innocently, sitting on the bed beside cocoa.

“if we want her to sleep in her actual bed, we have to start training her early,” virgil says.

“she’ll be lonely,” patton points out.

“i specifically bought her a hot water bottle and a clock to make sure that wouldn’t happen,” virgil says.

“um—?”

“hot water bottle to simulate warmth and clock to simulate the heartbeat of her littermates, to help her adjust,” he explains, and yeah, wow, patton adores him.

“virgil, i hate to point out the obvious,” patton says, grinning, “but i happen to know two people who get pretty warm in their sleep and who both happen to have heartbeats.”

virgil hesitates.

“just for tonight?” patton says, pouting just a little. “for my birthday.”

virgil sighs. “i know what you’re doing,” he grumbles.

“you can think about it,” patton says, and gets up to tug lightly at virgil’s hand. “we can do some other stuff, first.”

virgil’s eyes start to get that dark, familiar gleam that makes a secret, almost illicit-feeling thrill shoot down patton’s spine.

but later, when they both slide under the covers that night, freshly showered and fully intent on going straight to sleep this time, virgil makes no noises of protest about the cuddly ball of fluff that’s nuzzled her way between their bellies, and even when her tiny paws dig into their stomachs in her sleep, and she wakes them up when she adjusts, and they both have to contort into awkward positions rather than wake the dog and move her, virgil doesn’t make a noise of protest.

she never really ends up trained to sleep in her own bed at night, either.

[iturbide]

A Gift that No One Else Can Give

Happy holidays, everyone!  Apologies for the late offering (getting sick threw a wrench into my plans), but I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to write a warm happy holiday piece.

Even after the better part of a year, the constantly changing beauty of Ylisse still left Robin in awe.  Arriving with the first thaw of winter’s end, he’d seen brown fields turn verdant as grass and flowers sprang forth, the bare branches beyond transformed into a lush canopy stretching as far as the eye could see.  Summer shifted the lands away from the gilt green of new leaves to something deeper, cooler, and the shadows in the gardens offered relief from the clinging heat and shelter from the frequent rains by equal measure.  The advent of autumn left the landscape awash in fresh color, golden farmlands ripe for harvest shimmering beyond forests ablaze in red and orange, and fallen leaves crackled like flame beneath travelers’ steps.  But though winter had since regained its hold and stolen the halidom’s vibrant palette, Ylisstol’s citizens seemed intent on fighting back the dreary greys and browns within their city by any means possible.

It had taken him entirely by surprise when he came downstairs and found the dining room festooned in green and red garlands.  Over breakfast, Lissa had explained that it was all part of the winter festival, a time-honored tradition where the people of Ylisse decorated their homes inside and out and exchanged gifts with loved ones to liven up the bleak midwinter.  And Robin had to admit that the results were quite effective: just walking out onto the snow-dusted streets, he could not help but smile at the renewed color in the city, banners breaking up plain grey stonework and candles burning bright in every window.  The people, too, seemed renewed by the change, and the city square rang with talk and laughter as citizens milled and shopped, smiling and greeting everyone they passed on their ways.

Guest or not, it had been impossible for Robin not to get swept up in the festive mood, and Lissa had heartily encouraged him to take part.  So with her guidance, the Plegian had set about finding small tokens for each of his friends from within and beyond the halidom, adorning each with a tiny red bow in lieu of wrapping (which he attempted once and failed quite spectacularly at, much to the princess’ obvious amusement).  Some were easy to shop for: exotic ingredients for Stahl’s apothecary pursuits, a new set of leather satchels for Henry’s hexing materials, a silver bangle studded with rose quartz for Olivia’s performances.  Others were much more difficult: he settled on a stamina concoction for Sully’s seemingly endless training endeavors, a silver blade wrought in Ylissean style for Lon’qu’s weapons mastery, and a decorative wall hanging for Maribelle’s tea parlour (on Lissa’s advice, since he’d never seen the room she swore the tapestry would look perfect in).

But there was one person who, try as he might, he could not think of a suitable gift for.  After all, what could he possibly give the man who already had everything?

It gnawed at him as he made his way through the palace halls, worrying at the ribbon tied around the plain ebony box in his palm.  Was it perhaps too little, something so small?  Inappropriate for someone in his position?  Too much for someone in Chrom’s?  Gods, why did the prince have to be so difficult—

A muffled oath caught his attention.  Looking around, Robin saw only a few closed doors along the hallway, most of which were sitting rooms if he remembered the palace tour correctly…but the sound came again, and he could swear he recognized the voice now that he paid attention.  Frowning, he moved toward the nearest door and knocked lightly.  “Is everything alright?”

The cursing came again, significantly more frantic, and now he was certain he recognized it.  “E-everything’s fine!  No trouble!”  

“Chrom, what’s going on?” Robin sighed.

“Nothing!  Like I said, everything’s fine, nothing to worry about – oh gods damn, why won’t it stay--”

“It doesn’t sound like everything’s fine.”

“W-well, it is, I promise, nothing to worry abooh no no no don’t—”

“…can I come in?”

There was a long moment of silence…followed by a long-suffering sigh.  “I guess.”

Much to his surprise, Robin heard the bar on the door shift, and hurriedly hid his hands behind his back before it opened to reveal a harried-looking prince with scraps of green cloth sticking to his tunic and silver shavings glittering in his hair.  “My, you look festive,” Robin chuckled as Chrom stepped aside.

“Ha ha,” the prince deadpanned, retreating to the table near the center of the room.

Robin closed the door and followed cheerfully after him, enjoying the warmth from the crackling hearth after his latest journey through the chilly streets.  “So what have you been up to?  Besides decorating – g-good gods, what is that?” he asked, stopping in his tracks as he finally caught a glimpse of the desk.

“I’ve been trying to wrap gifts for the winter festival,” Chrom mumbled.  If Robin had thought his own attempts were failures, they were arguable successes compared to the nightmare of ribbon scraps and torn covering scattered haphazardly across the table in the wake of the prince’s efforts.  

“Well…I certainly can’t guess what you’ve wrapped, so perhaps you can call it a success?” he volunteered.

Chrom groaned, moving a fresh sheet of red-dyed parchment to reveal the shape of something underneath.  “I haven’t managed to wrap it at all.  Thanks for trying, though.”

Well, it had been worth the effort.  “You could just tie a ribbon around it?” Robin suggested, thinking of the gift concealed behind his own back.

“That takes all the fun out of it, though.  You don’t really have to guess what it is if you can see it.  Although,” the prince mused, lifting the parcel and folding the wrapping around it, “I suppose there’s not much guesswork involved either way, is there?”

Peering over his shoulder, Robin had to admit that the outline looked very much like a book, with the rounding of one long edge seeming indicative of a spine.  Quite a thick tome, too, judging by the size; perhaps he’d found a new book for Sumia?  “It’s the thought more than the mystery that’s important for the festival, isn’t it?  You’re clearly thinking of them, so I doubt anyone will mind not puzzling over their gift.”

“You think?”  As Chrom turned a pleading look on him, Robin smiled…and after another moment, the prince relented, offering the clumsily covered present to him.  “It’s a little early, but…this is for you.”

“For me?” Robin repeated, hastily shoving the tiny box into his coat pocket before taking the bundle.  Holding it in his hands, he had no doubt that it was a book – and quite an impressive one, at that, nearly as wide as his palm and heavy enough to pose a threat if dropped.  Perhaps there was something to be said for the mystery, after all: a curious sense of excitement fluttered through his mind as he pondered just what sort of book it could be, and it took all his self-control not to discard the paper then and there.  “May I open it?”

The prince smiled, leaning against the edge of the table.  “I don’t see why not.  The festival lasts the whole week, and usually there’s a big party on the last day for feasting and exchanging gifts, but…well, lots of times friends will trade presents early, since the parties tend to be family things.  W-which isn’t to say you’re not invited to our party here, because you are!  I-I just meant that…uh… … …”

Robin grinned, running the tips of his fingers over the edge of a cover.  “Would you like it if I opened it now?” he ventured.  Chrom rubbed the back of his neck, meeting the young man’s eye almost shyly as he nodded.  “Well, if anyone asks where your festival gift to me is, I’ll be sure to bring this along.”  Humming to himself, he unwrapped the slightly crumpled parchment, casting it aside…

…and for a moment, he could find no words at all for the beautiful tome left resting in his hands.  The leather covers alone were masterworks, with painstaking texturing and gold inlay accompanying the light and dark staining; but the gilt pages, too, were cut and aligned in perfect form, with tiny indents and markers drawing his fingertips as he ran them along the outside edge.  Opening it to one of the sections, he saw a tiny script ‘Y’ written on the tab – and on the page itself, a delicate illustration of Ylisstol Castle as seen from the city square greeted him; flipping through, the next few pages included a brief treatise on the halidom itself, from its climate and religion to its major exports, followed by blank parchment covered in neat guidelines waiting to be filled.  Moving to the next marker, inscribed with a ‘P,’ he found a drawing of Plegia Castle waiting, the great six-eyed skull at the foot of the mesa looking nearly as grand in ink as it did in his memories – and as with the section before, a handful of prescient details preceded blank pages.  Curious, he flipped to the very end to find thickly bundled sheaves of parchment bound to the spine…which, as he tested them, unfolded to reveal maps of the Archanean continent and their Valmese neighbors, along with more detailed charts for the individual nations within each.

The prince’s voice broke the silence as Robin spread a map of Plegia out across the cluttered table.  “I was…having some trouble figuring out what to get you.  So…I started thinking about…how you always go into the council meetings with that armload of parchment and quills and ink, and how much of a hassle it must be to keep it all straight.  I was hoping this might be a little easier to manage.  You can take all your notes in this – about council meetings here, diplomatic negotiations with Ferox, things going on back home – and it’s even got some helpful stuff like a list of Ylisse’s noble families in the back.”  As Robin eagerly re-folded the maps and turned back to explore the aristocratic lineages, he heard Chrom draw another breath…and paused, looking up at the man standing beside him.  “Do you like it?” the prince asked, his voice almost pleading to the Plegian’s ear.

“It’s incredible,” Robin replied without hesitation.  “I’ve never seen anything like this!  I’ve certainly seen section markers in this style before, but the inclusion of the maps is ingenious…”

“I…w-well, I can’t take all the credit there,” Chrom admitted.  “I got a lot of help.  Gregor helped find the maps, and Miriel figured out how to fold them up like that so they could be bound in with the rest.  And Maribelle pulled together the part about the nobility, since she’s sort of an expert.  Oh, and I got Henry’s help hexing the quill, too.”

“Quill?” Robin repeated.

The prince cursed under his breath, tossing aside crumpled parchment and bits of ribbon until he uncovered a raven feather hidden in the colorful chaos.  “You don’t have to keep refilling it – it stores ink, I guess?  And then it turns white as you use it, but when you dip it in an ink well it’ll refill and turn black again.”

Robin took the plume as Chrom held it out to him, running his thumb along the soft edge.  “This is all wonderful!  I’ll miss less with a quill that can keep up with my thoughts, and the book is beautiful, and contains so much – not just room for writing, but details that can help in treaty discussions and diplomatic endeavors and…gods, this section on the nobility alone might ease our way through some of the reforms we’ve been struggling with in the council…”

“I guess I was…kind of worried you might get the wrong impression from it,” Chrom confessed.  “I don’t want you to think that I only want you here for your advice and your help.  Not that I don’t appreciate it!  Because I do!  This past year with me filling in for Emm, all the changes we’ve worked out – I couldn’t have done any of that without you.  But…but it’s not just your counsel I value.  It’s…it’s you.”

Robin felt a touch of warmth creep into his cheeks.  Glancing over, he could swear he saw a trace of color in the prince’s own face as he reached out to close the tome and open the front cover, revealing a handwritten inscription within:

This book belongs to Robin The man whose mind steers me safely through storms and trouble And whose heart is a beacon guiding me toward calm and peace

He feared for a moment that his heart might leap from his chest, and pressed a hand against it to keep it contained.  The script was unique among the various writing styles he’d seen elsewhere in the book, and after all the messages they had exchanged in coordinating the Plegian campaign, he recognized it as Chrom’s own.  The precise composition and painstaking lettering spoke of several practice iterations before attempting the final product within the book…and he wondered just how long the prince had spent agonizing over the message and its implications.

“It’s perfect,” Robin breathed, looking up just in time to see the smile break across Chrom’s face (and he was relieved that he’d not let his hand fall yet, since his heart pounded once more against his ribs and left them aching beneath his palm).

“I’m really glad,” the prince laughed, rubbing his neck again.  “I was worried it might be too much.  Lissa says I can be a little…sappy, sometimes.”

Robin beamed, shaking his head as he re-read the inscription.  “Not at all.”  If those words were true – if he wasn’t reading too deeply into them – then perhaps…  “A-actually…I have something for you, too.”

Chrom’s expression brightened as Robin reached into his pocket, and he did a poor job of hiding his excitement as the beribboned box came into view.  “Do I get to open it?” he asked eagerly.

“I’d have it no other way,” Robin chuckled, passing the gift into the prince’s hands.

Forcing himself to breathe, he watched as Chrom untied the bow and let it fall, lifting the lid…to reveal a brooch, the deep red stone at its center framed by gold feathers echoing the pattern of Grima’s Mark.  The prince lifted it carefully, holding it up to the light and filling the garnet with a warm glow.  “It’s beautiful…but it looks more like something for you than me,” he teased.

Steeling his nerves, Robin adopted the most confident smile he could muster.  “That was intentional.  In Plegia, the first new moon after Grima’s Night marks the start of our new year – and as luck would have it, that happens to be tonight.  The eve of the new year is a time of reflection, where we look back on the times we have fallen short and where we’ve excelled, consider the things we regret and those we take pride in, and strive to make amends with those we have wronged or strengthen our bonds with friends and family we’ve grown apart from.  It’s…also a time of change, though, where we look ahead to the coming year and how we might better ourselves.  And there’s a saying that…the best time to give your heart away is at the turn of the new year: if you face rejection, you have the year ahead to mend; and if you find acceptance, you have the year ahead to bond.”

“Give your heart away…?” the prince repeated.

Robin nodded, realizing as he did that he was rubbing his Brand and forcing his hands to be still.  “That brooch is called a heartstone.  The setting is meant to call the giver to mind, because it represents their heart, so…’wherever you go, so long as you wear this, my heart will always be with you.’”

Silence met those familiar words.  Swallowing back the fear in his throat, Robin looked up to find Chrom staring at him.  “Does that mean…?”  The prince’s voice trailed off as he looked between the brooch and the man beside him.

The first stirring of panic frayed his nerves.  “You’ve no obligation to accept, I know it’s very sudden and I’m sure you have other—”

“No – Robin.”  He stopped as Chrom lay a hand on his shoulder, his grip gentle and sure.  “I need you to tell me exactly what this means.”

Staring into the prince’s eyes, blue as the sky before dawn, Robin felt his resolve falter.  But before it could abandon him completely, he folded his hands before him and offered up a shy smile.  “It means I love you, Chrom.”

It was perhaps for the best that he’d had nothing more prepared: the prince’s embrace would have prevented him from getting any further even if he’d tried.  Before he could collect himself, Chrom lifted Robin off the floor, his laughter muffled in the soft fabric of Robin’s hood as he spun them in place...and even when the prince finally stopped, he did not let go, simply holding the young man close.  “Are…are you alright?” Robin asked.

“I never thought I’d hear you say that,” Chrom breathed.  “I figured that…maybe if I said it first, you might, but even then…”

So he hadn’t mistaken the intent of that inscription.  But even still, his heart leapt into his throat, and it took a moment before he could find the voice to speak again.  “Will you accept my heart, then?” he murmured.

“Gladly,” Chrom agreed, stepping just far enough back to pin the brooch neatly to his chest, just over his own heart.  “Would it be too much to ask if…you might accept mine, as well?”

“Haven’t you given me enough already?” Robin teased, feeling his face flush with warmth as the prince removed the signet ring from his finger.

Chrom grinned in reply.  “Never.  And besides: this is something only I can give, just like your gift to me.”  Taking gentle hold of Robin’s hand, the prince carefully slipped the silver and lapis token onto his finger…though they both fought back laughter at the poor fit.  “It might need to be resized.  But it’s the thought that counts, right?”

“Of course,” Robin beamed, brushing a kiss across Chrom’s cheek (and feeling his own burn brighter at the blush that such a small gesture left in its wake).  “Happy winter festival, Chrom.”

“And happy new year, Robin” the prince replied, pulling the young man close once more – and the kiss he touched to Robin’s lips as he laced their fingers left him certain that the year to come would be joyous, indeed.  

Creatively, this has been an amazing year, but I owe a lot to all the amazing content creators out there, whose headcanons, writing, and artwork have helped inspire me and keep me writing, drawing, planning, and creating in general.  Thank you to @2goldensnitches ​, @21stcenturyhero , @acloudylight ​, @amazingartistyellow, @anankos , @chynandri , @citadelity , @cepherine , @cloudobo , @fractalinferno ​, @grimastiddies , @gunhorse ​, @hihkoo , @kofutofuu , @la-picchio , @levin-swort , @lllaurora , @lucid-spike , @p3ach-salt , @squiddlybopbop , @tecchiiiiii , @vikonohero and so many others for everything you’ve done through this year: you inspire me every day to create, and I hope this piece can show in some small way how grateful I am to you all for what you do. <3

Happy Holidays!

[javis-beretta]

To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before (3)

and here’s part three! sorry, this part doesn’t have too much plot stuff, but that’s only bc the next one is gonna be pretty exciting. thank you to everyone who’s been giving this story love, you’re all angels. enjoy! <3 (also i’m still figuring out some of the plot of this, so message me w your theories on who sent the letters or send me memes u think race would tag you in!) 

part 1 / part 2 / part 4 / part 5 / part 6 / part 7 / part 8

The next day, you stayed at school a little late, figuring you could catch Race after track practice to discuss your… arrangement. It also had the added benefit of allowing you to avoid Jack, who you knew was spending most afternoons at the community theatre across town, helping them paint backdrops for an upcoming show.

 (You weren’t stalking him, or memorising his schedule, or anything. You were just observant. You took note of behaviour. That was it.)

 Race was on his last lap around the track when he saw you sitting on the bleachers. You gave him a little wave and his face lit up with a smile. He winked and kept on running. When he was done, and presumably back in the locker room, your phone pinged with four rapid texts from an unknown number.

 hey babe I’m just showering and then I’ll come see you ;)

this is race btw

i’m really good at texting like a boyfriend

fake or otherwise

Even though he couldn’t see you, you rolled your eyes anyway.

 Yeah, okay hotshot

Come find me on the bleachers when you’re ready

When Race showed up, with a red face and wet, curly hair he gave you a cheeky grin, looked around to see some of the track team boys were still milling around, and he placed a quick peck on your cheek. You didn’t let yourself blush, remembering that it was all for show, and you pulled up a Word document on your laptop.

“Okay, so, this is going to be our contract,” you said, preparing yourself for his teasing.

“We have a contract? This isn’t Suits, man. It’s a fake relationship. We don’t need a contract!” 

“Uh, we so do need a contract, Higgins! We need to draw boundaries and limits and we need to stick to them.”

 He rolled his eyes and moved a little nearer to you on the bench, so that he could see your laptop screen.

 “Wow, nothing like a list of comprehensive rules and guidelines to really bring the romance, huh?”

 “Fake-romance,” you corrected him.

 “Yeah, yeah, whatever. So, what’s first on the contract?”

 “Okay, first up, no kissing.”

 He spluttered comically for a bit.

 “No kissing? How are we supposed to convince anyone that we’re dating if we can’t kiss?”

 “Look, plenty of couples avoid PDA. We can still, like, link pinkies or whatever.”

 “Link pinkies? Wha-? Are you living in the 80s? This isn’t Grease, babe.”

 “Look, Race, physical stuff may not mean anything to you, but it’s important to me, okay?”

 “Whoever said physical stuff didn’t matter to me?”, he muttered under his breath. But, after a moment he sighed. “Fiine, put it on the contract.

 You typed it up and looked expectantly at him.

“Okay, you get no kissing, but, number two, you have to hang out with me and my friends at lunch and come to parties with me.”

“Technically, that’s two and three. And, I get parties, but why lunch?”

He stared at the ground.

“Spot always sat with us at lunch, so he’d definitely notice if you were with me and the guys.”

“Fair enough.”

You typed that, and then said, “Also, we cannot tell anyone that this is fake. Gossip spreads like wildfire at this school so nobody can know that this isn’t a real relationship. Not even Albert, or your track team buddies.”

“Obviously. And don’t act like I can’t keep secrets. You can’t tell Davey or Katherine. I had journalism with her last year and I’m pretty sure that she would disapprove of this plan.”

He was right, of course he was.

“Fine, deal. Anything else?”

“Oh! You have to come with me on the ski trip trip in December,” he said triumphantly.

Your high school’s annual ski trip was infamous for being the weekend when most of your school lost their virginity. Some schools had the night after prom, but your school had two days and a night spent in the mountains.

“The ski trip? As in the one just before Christmas break? We’d have to stay together for three months to go on that.”

“Listen, no one in a relationship would ever let their boyfriend go on that trip alone. And, if we’ve gotta keep up until then, then so be it. Spot will definitely be there, so he’ll notice if I’m with someone else. We can break up after the trip, no harm, no foul.”

“Okay, fine. But we will not be sharing a room.”

“Yeah, obviously.”

“Anything else you want me to add, oh wise one?” you asked.

“Uh, well, there is this one thing,” he said, sounding a little hesitant. You motioned for him to go on. “Well, Spot always thought it would be cute if I wrote him little letters and put them in his locker or gave them to him, or whatever, and I never did it. Um, if he saw me giving those to you, he’d probably get pretty jealous.”

“Badass Spot Conlon, who would beat up anyone who looked at him wrong wanted love letters? That’s so cute!”

“Yeah, there’s a lot more to him than just being angry and bitchy. I bet he’s got his college boyfriend writing him all sorts of letters now,” Race scoffed.

“He left you for a college guy? That’s rough, Race. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, its whatever,” Race quickly said. “So, that’s the contract, then?”

“Yeah,” you said, satisfied.

“Perfect,” he grinned, and his blue eyes were twinkling again.

“You do know that you missed the bus today, right?” he said, after a moment.

“Uh, yeah, I was just gonna walk home.”

“Holy shit, what is it with you and walking? Do you not have your license?”

“Uh, I do. But driving terrifies me and I’d probably end up killing someone – or myself – if I drove every day. But, yeah, I don’t mind walking.”

“Well, if you’re dating me, there will be no walking. I’ll give you a lift home and a ride to school in the morning, if you want one.”

“Are you serious? You don’t need to do that, Race.”

“Nah, I want to. What kind of fake-boyfriend would I be if I didn’t?”

He smiled at you and you realised that Race had been right the day before. You could do worse. As far as fake high school boyfriends went, Race was probably one of the best options you had.

“I’d appreciate that. Thanks, Higgins.”

“No biggie. Now, let’s go. The Bachelorette is on tonight and I need to see who Becca chooses.”

Before long, Race had dropped you off at home, with a cheeky wink and promise to text. As soon as you were inside, your phone lit up with a message from him.

see ya bright and early tomorrow morning, girlfriend ;)

You rolled your eyes and typed a quick reply. Then, you went to contacts and your hand hovered over Katherine’s name. You’d have to tell her what had happened with Jack and explain that you were now (somehow) dating Race Higgins.

The phone rang twice, and you could practically hear the smile in her voice when she greeted you, as bright and cheerful as ever. You talked for a little bit about school and she told you about college and you realised that you probably couldn’t put it off for any longer. As soon as you said that you had something to tell her, she sounded more than a little worried.

“What’s up? Is everything okay?”

“This story is going to sound pretty weird but hear me out. You know when I was little, I used to write those letters to myself?”

“Yeah, you said that your mom told you to do it if you ever needed help figuring out your feelings.”

“Yeah, well, not all of the letters were to myself. I wrote some to guys I had crushes on and I swear that I never sent any of them out, but, um, somehow, some of those guys, got their letters?”

“Oh, shit. That sounds stressful. Who’d you write to?”

“That’s the thing that I need to tell you… When you first got with Jack, I thought that I was into him and I wrote him a letter. I was never going to send and I’m pretty sure I didn’t actually have feelings for him, I was just a little torn up because it felt like I was losing my best friend to my sister. But, uh, he got the letter. And, I figured that I should tell you before you heard it from someone else. And, also, uh, Race Higgins and I are dating.” The last sentence slipped out so quickly that you hoped she had missed it.

She was silent for a long time and you were worried that the phone might have died while you were talking and then, you heard a sigh.

“That is… a lot. I’m not going to lie, I am pretty pissed off right now. I don’t care if you were into Jack or not. You wrote a love letter to my boyfriend, while I was dating him. And Race Higgins? Like Spot’s Race Higgins? What the fuck? Look, I’ve got a report due tomorrow, and I really don’t need to be stressed right now, so we can just talk about this some other time.”

She was definitely mad.

“Kath, I-I’m so sorry, I didn’t want to hurt you, I swear.”

“It’s fine. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

She hung up. It was not fine. You felt like crying and crumpling yourself into a ball, when your phone pinged with a notification from Instagram.

@racehiggins tagged you in a post.

It was some stupid meme, and you knew he’d only tagged you in it because people from school would see it, but it brought a smile to your face, anyway.

Race was getting pretty good at making you smile, and you hadn’t even been fake-dating for a week. Maybe, this would all work out well.

TAGLIST: @hungoverhellhound @seriously-ceci @the-butterfly-anon @ben-cook-can-cook @pinecovewoods @brendonuriehimself

[inthepantheon]

It's About Time

The thunk...thunk...thunk  of Thanatos’ scythe echoed across the near desolate lobby as we slowly made our way from the lounge back to Aphaid’s office. Aphaid was the last to see Hera, and we needed to find out if there was any progress in locating her. Thanatos was still leaning rather heavily on my arm for support and clutching his scythe like a walking stick. I could see that he was beginning to heal from his ordeals, but it was taking a long time - an unusually long time. It was eerily quiet in the GC’s massive lobby. Only weeks ago there were dozens upon dozens of people chatting and milling about the reception area or frequenting the many shops on the first floor. Now there were only stoic-faced security guards standing watch over the few remaining mortal employees who scurried about, eyes down, noses to the grindstone. It was all business these days. Clio slipped up next to us as Thanatos and I crossed the lobby to the elevators. “Than? Moxie?” Clio canted her head to the side, sizing up our unlikely pairing. She turned to Than and lifted a delicate hand to touch his cheek. “I’m surprised to see you here, Thanatos. Y-you look terrible. What happened to you?” Than shrugged lightly and grunted, “Hmmm.” I patted his arm, offering an encouraging smile. “He has had a rough day that isn’t quite over, Clio. He is helping me. Mamá has gone missing and we are trying to find her.” “She flew…” Than coughed and paused to clear his still-raw throat. “She flew her carpet out the window, tiny muse.” Clio blinked. “She...what? Flew a carpet?” Thanatos and I nodded in unison. “We are going to speak with Aphaid,” I told her. “They were supposed to reach out to Ares or Dinlas for help.” “So, Hera is missing? What about Father? Who is caring for him?” "Off to handle Atë, I would imagine. Serve justice," Than said flatly. “He’s awake?” Clio asked, surprised. “Father is awake? When?” "Indeed, he is, tiny muse, we saw it happen. We made it happen," Than replied and looked to me, offering a feeble smile tinged with pride. “I should go see him! Everyone will want to...wait.” Clio paused, looking at Than. “Atë? What does Atë have to do with any of this?” "Everything," Than hissed with such forceful contempt that it caused Clio to startle and take a step back. I scowled at Than, momentarily letting go of his arm to step towards Clio.  I smiled tenderly at the now frightened muse. "Don’t let him upset you. He’s cranky. Why don’t you come with us? I am sure you can help. Frankly, we can use all of the help we can get right now," I said, then returned to Than as he swayed unsteadily, threading my arm through his to give him support. Clio glanced back and forth between us, then slowly nodded her agreement, “You might be right. I may be able to help. Certainly, I-I will do all that I can,” she said as the elevator dinged to announce its arrival. We exited on the 109th floor and the three of us walked down the empty hallway towards Aphaid’s office. “This building is like a giant tomb...and I should know,” Than said in his dry, deadpan voice.  “Trying to lighten the mood with jokes, huh?” I teased and turned back to wink at Clio. “He’s such a jokester...at least, I think he was making a joke.” Than’s lips twitched in a tiny smirk. The office door was ajar and we could hear Aphaid speaking on the phone as we approached, “Yes. Kum-quat. That is what she said.” They looked up and nodded to us as we entered. “Thank you. Please advise us if you locate the Queen.” They hung up the phone, tapped out some notes on their tablet, then looked up at us, seeming to assess us. "Kumquat?” Than repeated, staring at Aphaid. He leaned down to me and whispered, “That thing gives me the creeps.” “Be nice,” I said with a gentle elbow to his stomach. “Oof.” Than winced and nearly doubled over. He nodded and clutched the handle of his scythe.  I pursed my lips and whispered, “Straighten up, God of Death. This is no time to be a drama queen.” “Hilarious,” Than whispered back, straightening up.  Clio giggled softly. “You are back? Who watches the king?” Aphaid furrowed their painted brows. “Zeus is awake,” Than offered. Clio peeked from behind Than and chimed in, “W-we are here to find out what else you might know about Hera. I-is there any news?” Aphaid picked up their tablet and tapped the screen. “The king has recovered. Now we can mark that off of our list.” They then turned to the muse. “As we told Miss earlier, the queen arrived suddenly, acting peculiarly. She became smaller before our eyes, then she flew out of the window on the carpet her grandson gave her.”  “Yes. Yes. We’ve already covered that ground, Aphaid. What else do you know?” I asked and glanced at the clock on the wall, gauging how much time had passed. It had only been an hour and a half. "You said that she arrived suddenly. Where was Mrs. Hera before she came in here, do you know?" Than asked. “We believe she was at her desk, outside of their chambers, sir. We left her there earlier to open mail and conduct business.” "Splendid, then we will start there. Come now, you two," Than said, limping towards the door. I exhaled an exasperated sigh, eyeing Aphaid evenly. “That would have been useful information to have earlier when I was up there, Aphaid.” “You did not ask us that before, miss.” Aphaid replied and referred to their notes, tapping the tablet with a well-polished nail. “You asked, Who is attending him?” And we replied…” I interrupted and waved my hand dismissively. “We are wasting time.” "I can reap it if you want, Moxie. Just say the word," Than offered from the doorway. I couldn’t help but grin at his offer. “Mamá would have my head, and yours, should anything happen to her assistant, Than.” Turning to Clio, I nodded my head towards the door. “Coming?” The three of us returned to Hera’s chambers looking for any clues that might lead us to her whereabouts. The scent of her perfume lingered in the air, but the emptiness of the space pulled at me. This day had barely begun and already so much had changed, both for the good and for the bad. I was more fearful than hopeful at this point.  Clio went to one side of her desk and began examining the mail, while I dug through the drawers on the other side. Thanatos stood back, leaning against the bookshelves, surveying the area. “I wish I knew what we were looking for,” Clio said absently as she scanned the pile of letters on the corner of the desk, replacing each one after reading it. “Anything that might give us any idea of why she would suddenly up and leave Zeus all alone. I mean, what could get her to leave his side when no one or nothing else could manage it for weeks?” I asked. “There,” Thanatos said and joined us at the desk. He squatted with a grunt and retrieved some items strewn on the floor. He handed me a card and Clio a watch. “Those seem out of place. And look at this,” he said as he pinched and rubbed an odd, white, sand-like powder between his fingertips. “Hmm. Listen to this,” I said and read the cryptic note scribbled on the card. “Even gods run out of time.” Clio turned the watch over in her hand, studying it. “There’s an etching on the front,” she said as she stroked her thumb over the engraving. She held the watch back out to Than. “Look. An eagle with talons clutching a lightning bolt. And see the face of the watch? It has some of that powder on it.”  “Be careful with that powder,” Than murmured as he continued to study the substance. “Something about this…” He stopped talking as the sandy dust lifted from his fingers and spiraled upwards towards the watch. “Whoa!” I blurted out. Clio gasped and dropped the watch onto the desk. “Magick. These items are infused with m-magick.” I followed suit and placed the card next to the watch, then dusted off my hands. “Whelp. Looks like we found our clues.” “Shit,” Than growled, “Tiny muse, Ms. Moxie, I will be right back.” Than frantically wiped his hands off and headed to the center of the room. He clenched his jaw and narrowed his gaze, seeming to steel himself. “Do you know what it is?” I asked. He stopped and turned to us, his face softening as he licked his lips and looked down as if switching gears inside his head. He looked back up and offered us a small smile, but his eyes were on me. “I do and we are going to need additional help. Just stay away from that powder and those objects until I get back.”  I held up my hands. “You’ll get no argument from me on that.” “No arguments here, either,” Clio agreed emphatically. “Who…” I started to ask but trailed off as the shadows from every part of the room lifted and gathered around him. There was a sudden gust of air and the sound of flapping wings and Than was gone. Papers had blown off Mamá’s desk and the overhead light fixtures swung back and forth. Neither one of us spoke. We just stared at the spot he had once occupied. Just as Clio opened her mouth to say something, Than reappeared right where he had been previously standing. He unfolded his wings, and I chuckled, nodding knowingly. “Of course,” I said, “Who else would know more about the subject?” Hekate stepped from within the shadows of his wings, face drawn with concern. “Show me what you found. And by all the gods not us, let’s hope we’re wrong.” Read the full article

[unclescurvy]

2020 NFL Mock Draft-FINAL

April 22, 2020

 ROUND ONE

1. Cincinnati - QB Sam Burrow, LSU

They might as well start working on the contract now. It’s been a long time since we had a slam-dunk pick like this one. The team will need to focus on acquiring an offensive line to keep him from a David Carr-style early collapse though.

 2. Washington – DE Chase Young, Ohio State

I’m still not 100% convinced the Redskins won’t trade this pick away, but if they hold on to it, they’d be ridiculous to pass on hometown guy Chase Young. He’d be an instant star in Washington, which is exactly what they need to start luring fans back into the stadium.

 3. Miami (PROJ. TRADE W/DET) – OT Andrew Thomas, Georgia

Tristan Wirfs and Mekhi Becton were the stars of the Combine, but that’s not what motivates front offices. They want someone who’s excelled on the field, over and over again. Wirfs certainly qualifies there, but Andrew Thomas has been a star at both right and left tackle practically since he first suited up for Georgia. Don’t be surprised if he’s the first tackle off the board this year. Miami gives up picks #5 and 18 to move up two spots).

 4. NY Giants – OT Tristan Wirfs, Iowa

This could be an epic run on tackles starting here. Wirfs can excel at any spot on the offensive line, but the Giants may need his help at left tackle sooner than later.

 5. Detroit (PROJ. TRADE W/MIA) – DT Derrick Brown, Auburn

Detroit could do any number of things with this pick, but I like the current rumor that they’re very intrigued by Derrick Brown. He’s one of my favorite players in this draft, and if you fall in love with a prospect, you take him and damn the criticism.

 6. LA Chargers – QB Tua Tagovailoa, Alabama +

No one expects him to start immediately in LA, where Tyrod Taylor is well liked by the coaching staff. But like his tenure with the Browns, Taylor’s time in the starting role will be short lived. Tua can be brought along slowly as he adjusts to the pro game and heals from his hip injury.

 7. Carolina – CB Jeffrey Okudah, Ohio State

Carolina parted ways with James Bradberry, so they make up for his departure with Okudah, clearly the top CB available this year. If he lasts until pick #7, this will be a steal for the team.

 8. Arizona – OT Jedrick Wills, Jr., Alabama

Kyler Murray is great at running for his life, but he shouldn’t have to. They did re-sign LT D.J. Humphries to a new deal – but only a one-year contract with RT Marcus Gilbert. They seem to have decided to part ways with free agents Jordan Mills and A.Q. Shipley. And in 2021, J.R. Sweezy’s contract expires too.  Loading up on offensive linemen would be a good idea. Wills could either serve as a reserve swing tackle his first year, or they could move Gilbert to guard and insert Wills at right tackle.

 9. Jacksonville – LB Isaiah Simmons, Clemson

Jacksonville needs help at multiple positions, so why not grab the best player available. Simmons might not fit the team’s most immediate needs, but he’s the sort of dynamic playmaker you rebuild your defense around. Whether he lines up at Will or safety, he’ll have an immediate impact with a clever defensive staff.

 10. Cleveland – OT Mekhi Becton, Louisville *

The Browns made a horrible mistake by ignoring their problems at offensive line in the 2019 off-season. They gambled and lost on left tackle bust Greg Robinson (who is currently in legal trouble for allegedly being in possession of a ridiculous amount of pot). Time to correct that mistake. Becton enters the NFL with questions about possible drug use, but that’s nothing new for the Browns.

 11. NY Jets – WR CeeDee Lamb, Oklahoma

The Jets have been targeting left tackles since early in the pre-draft process, but they don’t pull the trigger on a trade up to acquire one of the blue-chip candidates. CeeDee Lamb ain’t a bad fall-back option though.

 12. Las Vegas – WR Henry Ruggs III, Alabama

You need to be flashy if you want to stand out in Las Vegas. There is no player with better big-play potential this year than Ruggs. In a nod to former owner Al Davis, the team eschews the more polished route runner in his teammate Jerry Jeudy for the speediest player available at his position. Ruggs is more than just a fast receiver though; he’s got amazingly-reliable hands.

 13. San Francisco (THRU IND) – WR Jerry Jeudy, Alabama

Losing Emmanuel Sanders hurts a little bit, but the pain recedes when Jerry Jeudy comes to town. Perhaps the best pure receiver in the draft, and he lands with the NFC Champions.

 14. Atlanta (PROJ. TRADE W/TB) – CB C.J. Henderson, Florida

The Falcons move up two spots to snag Henderson away from Denver (they sacrifice pick #95 in the 3rd round to move up). They’ve coveted both Henderson and Jeff Okudah for a while now, and while they don’t possess the ammo to get up for Okudah, they pounce when they see Henderson drop this far.

 15. Denver – LB Kenneth Murray, Oklahoma

The Broncos very much wanted to land one of the top cornerbacks, but Atlanta snaked the last one away. Kenneth Murray is a player coaches can easily fall in love with though. He’s brilliant on the field but he’s even more valuable as a motivational team member. He’s got leadership skills like Jamal Adams and he seems destined to be a great coach someday.

 16. Tampa Bay (PROJ. TRADE W/ATL) – DT Javon Kinlaw, South Carolina

With Tampa spending their free agency dollars on offensive players, they need to focus most of their attention in the draft on that horrid defense. Kinlaw can provide a serious push from the inside to help out the edge players, and he’s got some run-stopping talents to boot.

 17. Dallas – CB A.J. Terrell, Clemson

The Cowboys got hit hard by free agency this year, and 2021 won’t be much easier. They need youth at multiple positions. Start with trying to replace Byron Jones in the defensive backfield. Terrell has great length, speed and experience at a winning program.

 18. Detroit (PROJ. TRADE W/ MIA THRU PIT) – DE/LB K’Lavon Chaisson, LSU

The Lions continue to rebuild their defensive line with an outside pass-rush threat to complement the interior push provided by Derrick Brown. Chaisson on one side and Trey Flowers on the other could be a disruptive force.

 19. Las Vegas (THRU CHI) – LB Patrick Queen, LSU

The Raiders go offense with their first pick; now, the defense. Queen can man the weak side of the linebacking corps and pair with newcomer Cory Littleton to form a speedy, lithe combination.

 20. Jacksonville (THRU LAR) – WR Justin Jefferson, LSU

The Jaguars have many needs, so they could go in any number of directions. Bolstering the receiving corps makes sense though. Jefferson paired with D.J. Chark could prove to be tough to defend.

 21. Philadelphia - S Xavier McKinney, Alabama

The Eagles have many needs along the defensive backfield as free agency is hitting them hard this year and next. McKinney and Grant Delpit are far and away this year’s best safeties; either one could go here.

 22. Minnesota (THRU BUF) – DE A.J. Epenesa, Iowa

Everson Griffen opted out of his current contract, and he’s now entering his 11th year in the league. There is no obvious starting talent on the roster to replace him. Even if the Vikings bring him back on a 1-year deal, having a developmental guy like Epenesa in a rotation behind him makes total sense.

 23. New England - QB Justin Herbert, Oregon

Herbert is a reluctant passer, so I’m not 100% sure he’ll be a fit for Belichick, but the Pats have never been shy about gambling on draft picks. The Pats stick with Jarrett Stidham (at least for now) as the starter until they can assess Herbert’s ability to read a defense and deliver a ball with confidence and anticipation.

 24. Indianapolis (PROJECTED TRADE W/NO) – QB Jordan Love, Utah State

Indy sees Herbert finally go off the board, and they can’t wait anymore to grab their favorite QB. They find a willing trade partner in New Orleans; they have the fewest picks in the draft this year, so they’re happy to trade out of the first and accumulate some extra selections (the Saints get Indy’s #34 and 75 picks). The Colts hope Love can develop behind Jacoby Brissett and Philip Rivers – both are only likely to stick around for one year.

 25. Minnesota - WR Brandon Aiyuk, Arizona State

The Vikings need to replace Stefon Diggs quickly if they want to take advantage of an AFC East without Tom Brady.  Aiyuk can slide into the starting lineup immediately.

 26. Miami (THRU HOU) - RB J.K. Dobbins, Ohio State

Jordan Howard is not a long-term option, and Kalen Ballage has fallen out of favor. The Dolphins want to bolster their backfield, and Dobbins is a darkhorse candidate to be the first RB off the board. Though he shouldn’t be. In hindsight, Dobbins will appear to be the obvious choice here.

 27. Seattle - CB Trevon Diggs, Alabama

The Seahawks need to get back to their Legion of Doom ideals and draft big DBs again. At 6’1”, Diggs will hope to satisfy their craving for a Richard Sherman-type cover corner.

 28. Baltimore - C Cesar Ruiz, Michigan

I love a good curveball. Ruiz displayed tremendous skills at the Combine and made a strong case that he’s the top pure interior lineman available this year. With the retirement of Marshal Yanda, there is a serious need along the offensive line.

 29. Tennessee - CB Jaylon Johnson, Utah

With Logan Ryan in question and Malcom Butler wearing out his welcome, the Titans need to dip into the draft to solve their cornerback problems.

 30. Green Bay - DT Ross Blacklock, TCU

The Packers have had serious problems stopping the run recently. Blacklock has an amazing motor and is highly prized among scouts.

 31. LA Chargers (PROJ. TRADE W/SF) - RB D’Andre Swift, Georgia

The Chargers want to get ahead of Kansas City for their preferred replacement for Melvin Gordon (they give up pick #112 in the fourth round as well as #37).

 32. Kansas City - RB Jonathan Taylor, Wisconsin

Kansas City needs more help along the defense obviously, but Taylor put to bed the notion that he has too much tread on his tires with an amazing Combine workout.

 ROUND TWO

33. Cincinnati – TE Cole Kmet, Notre Dame

34. New Orleans (PROJ. TRADE W/IND THRU WAS) – CB Noah Igbinoghene, Auburn

35. Detroit – QB Jalen Hurts, Oklahoma

36. NY Giants – DE/LB Bradlee Anae, Utah

37. San Francisco (PROJ. TRADE W/LAC) – OT Austin Jackson, USC

38. Carolina – DE Yetur Gross-Matos, Penn State

39. Miami – S Grant Delpit, LSU

40. Houston (VIA ARZ) – DT/DE Marlon Davidson, Auburn

41. Cleveland – LB Jordyn Brooks, Texas Tech

42. Jacksonville – OT Ezra Cleveland, Boise State

43. Chicago (THRU LV) – CB Kristian Fulton, LSU

44. Indianapolis – WR Tee Higgins, Clemson

45. Tampa Bay – RB Clyde Edwards-Helaire, LSU

46. Denver – DT Justin Madubuike, Texas A&M

47. San Francisco (PROJ. TRADE W/ATL) – DE/LB Zack Baun, Wisconsin *

48. NY Jets – WR Laviska Shenault, Colorado +

49. Pittsburgh – QB Jacob Eason, Washington

50. Chicago – G/C Lloyd Cushenberry, LSU +

51. Dallas – S Antoine Winfield, Jr., Minnesota

52. LA Rams – DE/LB Julian Okwara, Notre Dame +

53. Philadelphia – WR Denzel Mims, Baylor

54. Buffalo – WR Jalen Reagor, TCU

55. Baltimore (FROM NE THRU ATL) – NT Raekwon Davis, Alabama

56. Miami (THRU NO) – OT Josh Jones, Houston

57. LA Rams (THRU HOU) – S Jeremy Chinn, Southern Illinois

58. Minnesota – CB Jeff Gladney, TCU

59. Seattle – DT Neville Gallimore, Oklahoma

60. Baltimore – G Shane Lemieux, Oregon

61. Tennessee – DT Jordan Elliott, Missouri

62. Green Bay – QB Jake Fromm, Georgia

63. Kansas City (THRU SF) – CB Damon Arnette, Ohio State

64. Seattle (THRU KC) – DE/LB Curtis Weaver, Boise State

 ROUND THREE

65. Cincinnati – CB Cam Dantzler, Mississippi State

66. Washington – TE Hunter Bryant, Washington

67. Detroit – OT Isaiah Wilson, Georgia

68. NY Jets (THRU NYG) – OLB Darrell Taylor, Tennessee

69. Carolina – WR Chase Claypool, Notre Dame

70. Miami – S Kyle Dugger, Lenoir-Rhyne

71. LA Chargers – WR Michael Pittman, USC

72. Arizona – WR Devin Duvernay, Texas

73. Jacksonville – RB Cam Akers, Florida State

74. Cleveland – CB Troy Pride, Jr., Notre Dame

75. New Orleans (PROJ. TRADE W/ IND) – WR K.J. Hamler, Penn State

76. Tampa Bay – C Matt Hennessy, Temple

77. Denver – WR Gabriel Davis, UCF

78. Atlanta – RB Zack Moss, Utah

79. Washington (PROJ. TRADE W/NYJ for OT Trent Williams) – OT Prince Tega Wanogho, Auburn +

80. Las Vegas – LB Akeem Davis-Gaither, Appalachian State

81. Las Vegas (THRU CHI) – S Ashtyn Davis, California +

82. Dallas – DE Jon Greenard, Florida

83. Denver (THRU PIT) – G Ben Bredeson, Michigan

84. LA Rams – DE/LB Terrell Lewis, Alabama +

85. Detroit (THRU PHI) – CB Bryce Hall, Virginia +

86. Buffalo – S Terrell Burgess, Utah

87. New England – TE Adam Trautman, Dayton

88. New Orleans – DE/LB Jabari Zuniga, Florida +

89. Minnesota – LB Malik Harrison, Ohio State

90. Houston – WR Van Jefferson, Florida

91. Las Vegas (THRU SEA VIA HOU) – DE Khalid Kareem, Notre Dame

92. Baltimore – DE/LB Josh Uche, Michigan

93. Tennessee – WR/RB Antonio Gibson, Memphis

94. Green Bay – TE Harrison Bryant, Florida Atlantic

95. Atlanta (PROJ. TRADE W/DEN THRU SF) – DT James Lynch, Baylor

96. Kansas City – G John Simpson, Clemson

97. Cleveland (THRU HOU) – LB Willie Gay, Jr., Mississippi State

98. New England – LB Anfernee Jennings, Alabama

99. NY Giants – C Tyler Biadasz, Wisconsin +

100. New England – WR Bryan Edwards, South Carolina +

101. Seattle – QB James Morgan, Florida International

102. Pittsburgh – OLB Alex Highsmith, Charlotte

103. Philadelphia – LB Logan Wilson, Wyoming

104. LA Rams – CB Josiah Scott, Michigan State

105. Minnesota – CB Amik Robertson, Louisiana Tech

106. Baltimore – LB Evan Weaver, California

 ROUND FOUR

107. Cincinnati – LB Davion Taylor, Colorado

108. Washington – LB Troy Dye, Oregon

109. Detroit – RB A.J. Dillon, Boston College

110. NY Giants – OT Lucas Niang, TCU

111. Arizona (THUR MIA) – DE/DT Jason Strowbridge, North Carolina

112. San Francisco (PROJ. TRADE W/LAC) – CB Harrison Hand, Temple

113. Carolina – TE Albert Okwuegbunam, Missouri

114. Arizona – OT Matt Peart, Connecticut

115. Cleveland – C Nick Harris, Washington

116. Jacksonville – DE/OLB Bryce Huff, Memphis

117. Tampa Bay – DT Leki Fotu, Utah +

118. Denver – CB A.J. Green, Oklahoma State

119. Atlanta – QB Anthony Gordon, Washington State

120. NY Jets – LB Jacob Phillips, LSU

121. Las Vegas – DT Davon Hamilton, Ohio State

122. Indianapolis – G Solomon Kindley, Georgia

123. Dallas – TE Jared Pinkney, Vanderbilt

124. Pittsburgh – G Damien Lewis, LSU

125. New England (THRU CHI) – DE Alton Robinson, Syracuse

126. LA Rams – OT Robert Hunt, Louisiana

127. Philadelphia – CB Michael Ojemudia, Iowa

128. Buffalo – OT/G Saahdiq Charles, LSU

129. Baltimore (THRU NE) – WR John Hightower, Boise State

130. New Orleans – WR Donovan Peoples-Jones, Michigan

131. Arizona (THRU HOU) – TE Colby Parkinson, Stanford

132. Minnesota – S Julian Blackmon, Utah

133. Seattle – S Brandon Jones, Texas

134. Atlanta (THRU BAL) – DE Nick Coe, Auburn

135. Pittsburgh (THRU TEN VIA MIAMI) – LB Casey Toohill, Stanford

136. Green Bay – WR James Proche, SMU

137. Jacksonville (THRU SF VIA DEN) – TE Brycen Hopkins, Purdue

138. Kansas City – CB Darnay Holmes, UCLA

139. New England (THRU TB) – S Jordan Fuller, Ohio State

140. Jacksonville (THRU CHI) – C Simon Stepaniak, Indiana

141. Miami – WR Isaiah Coulter, Rhode Island

142. Washington – OT Trey Adams, Washington +

143. Baltimore – LB Cam Brown, Penn State

144. Seattle – G Jonah Jackson, Ohio State

145. Philadelphia – WR Antonio Gandy-Golden, Liberty

146. Philadelphia – RB Anthony McFarland, Maryland

 ROUND FIVE

 147. Cincinnati – OT Ben Bartch, St. John’s

148. Carolina (THRU WAS) – G Michael Onwenu, Michigan

149. Detroit – WR Lynn Bowden, Jr., Kentucky

150. NY Giants – S Antoine Brooks, Maryland

151. LA Chargers – OT/G Jack Driscoll, Auburn

152. Carolina – CB Kindle Vildor, Georgia Southern

153. Miami (FROM MIA VIA ARZ) – LB Mykal Walker, Fresno State

- ARZ FORFEITED PICK –

154. Miami (FROM JAX VIA PIT) – S Josh Metellus, Michigan

155. Minnesota (FROM CLE VIA BUF) – DE Derrek Tuszka, North Dakota State

156. San Francisco (FROM DEN) – LB/S Tanner Muse, Clemson

157. Jacksonville (FROM ATL VIA BAL) – CB Parnell Motley, Oklahoma

158. NY Jets – RB Darrynton Evans, Appalachian State

159. Las Vegas – RB Lamical Perine, Florida

160. Indianapolis – RB James Robinson, Illinois State

161. Tampa Bay – S J.R. Reed, Georgia

162. Washington (FROM PIT VIA SEA) – G Jon Runyan, Michigan

163. Chicago – RB Josh Kelley, UCLA

164. Dallas – WR Collin Johnson, Texas

165. Jacksonville (FROM LAR) – DE/LB Trevis Gipson, Tulsa

166. Detroit (FROM PHI) – CB Javaris Davis, Auburn

167. Buffalo – TE Jake Breeland, Oregon

168. Philadelphia (FROM NE) – S K’Von Wallace, Clemson

169. New Orleans – CB Essang Bassey, Wake Forest

170. Baltimore (FROM MIN) – DT Khalil Davis, Nebraska

171. Houston – RB Eno Benjamin, Arizona State

172. New England (FROM BAL VIA LAR) – OT Colton McKivitz, West Virginia

173. Miami – G Hakeem Adeniji, Kansas

174. Tennessee – QB Nate Stanley, Iowa

175. Green Bay – S Geno Stone, Iowa

176. San Francisco – TE Devin Asiasi, UCLA

177. Kansas City – DT McTelvin Agim, Arkansas

178. Denver – WR Jauan Johnson, Oregon

179. Dallas – P Braden Mann, Texas A&M

 ROUND SIX

 180. Cincinnati – RB Rico Dowdle, South Carolina

181. Denver (FROM WAS) – OT Charlie Heck, North Carolina

182. Detroit – LB Shaquille Quarterman, Miami

183. NY Giants – WR Quintez Cephus, Wisconsin

184. Carolina – S Brian Cole II, Mississippi State

185. Miami – DT Carlos Davis, Nebraska

186. LA Chargers – LB David Woodward, Utah State

187. Cleveland (FROM ARZ) – DE Kenny Willekes, Michigan State

188. Buffalo (FROM CLE) – RB DeeJay Dallas, Miami

189. Jacksonville – CB J.K. Guidry, Utah

190. Philadelphia (FROM ATL) – LB Dante Olson, Montana

191. NY Jets – OT/G Calvin Throckmorton, Oregon

192. Green Bay (FROM LV) – WR Quez Watkins, Southern Mississippi

193. Indianapolis – WR K.J. Hill, Ohio State

194. Tampa Bay – OT Yasir Durant, Missouri

195. New England (FROM DEN) – TE Thaddeus Moss, LSU

196. Chicago – TE Dalton Keene, Virginia Tech

197. Indianapolis (FROM DAL VIA MIA) – DT Benito Jones, Mississippi State

198. Pittsburgh – DT Raequan Williams, Michigan State

199. LA Rams – RB Ke’Shawn Vaughn, Vanderbilt

200. Chicago (FROM PHI) – WR Tyler Johnson, Minnesota

201. Minnesota (FROM BUF) – DT Rashard Lawrence, LSU

202. Arizona (FROM NE) – RB Adrian Killins, Jr., Central Florida

203. New Orleans – G Kevin Dotson, Louisiana

204. New England (FROM HOU) – DE Jonathan Garvin, Miami

205. Minnesota – LB/S Khaleke Hudson, Michigan

206. Jacksonville (FROM SEA) – LB Michael Divinity, Jr., LSU *

207. Buffalo (FROM BAL VIA NE) – CB Stanford Samuels, Florida State

208. Green Bay (FROM TEN) – G Logan Stenberg, Kentucky

209. Green Bay – CB John Reid, Penn State

210. San Francisco – WR Omar Bayless, Arkansas State

211. NY Jets (FROM KC) – CB/S Shyheim Carter, Alabama

212. New England – RB Malcolm Perry, Navy

213. New England – K Tyler Bass, Georgia Southern

214. Seattle - LB Michael Pinckney, Miami

 ROUND SEVEN

 215. Cincinnati – DT Larrell Murchison, NC State

216. Washington – CB Rashad Robinson, James Madison

217. San Francisco (FROM DET) – DT Broderick Washington, Texas Tech

218. NY Giants – FB Brady Ross, Iowa

219. Minnesota (FROM MIA) – WR Isaiah Hodgins, Oregon State

220. LA Chargers – CB Jace Whittaker, Arizona +

221. Carolina – DE D.J. Wonnum, South Carolina

222. Arizona – S L’Jarius Snead, Louisiana Tech

223. Jacksonville – QB Kevin Davidson, Princeton

224. Tennessee (FROM CLE) – G Tremayne Anchrum, Clemson

225. Baltimore (FROM NYJ) – CB Luq Barcoo, San Diego State

226. Chicago (FROM LV) – S Aholi Gilman, Notre Dame

227. Miami (FROM IND) – DE Trevon Hill, Miami

228. Atlanta (FROM TB VIA PHI) – S Kamren Curl, Arkansas

229. Washington (FROM DEN) – FB/TE Kelvin Smith, North Texas

230. New England (FROM ATL) – WR/KR Joe Reed, Virginia

231. Dallas – LB De’Jon Harris, Arkansas

232. Pittsburgh – CB Dane Jackson, Pittsburgh

233. Chicago – K Rodrigo Blankenship, Georgia

234. LA Rams – K Dominik Eberle, Utah State

235. Detroit (FROM PHI VIA NE) – P Michael Turk, Arizona State

236. Green Bay (FROM BUF VIA CLE) – DE James Smith-Williams, NC State

237. Tennessee (FROM NE VIA DEN) – DE Oluwole Betiku, Jr., Illinois

238. NY Giants (FROM NO) – LB Jordan Mack, Virginia

239. Buffalo (FROM MIN) – QB Steven Montez, Colorado

240. Houston – G Danny Pinter, Ball State

241. Tampa Bay (FROM SEA VIA NE) – DE/OLB Chauncey Rivers, Mississippi State

242. Green Bay (FROM BAL) – LB Shaun Bradley, Temple

243. Tennessee – LB Justin Strnad, Wake Forest

244. Cleveland (FROM GB) – S Kenny Robinson, West Virginia *

245. San Francisco – G Tyre Phillips, Mississippi State

246. Miami (FROM KC) – LB Cam Gill, Wagner

247. NY Giants – DE Nasir Player, East Tennessee State

248. Houston – TE Charlie Taumoepeau, Portland State

249. Minnesota – QB Tyler Huntley, Utah

250. Houston – LB Joe Bachie, Michigan State

251. Miami – QB Cole McDonald, Hawaii

252. Denver – CB Lavert Hill, Michigan

253. Minnesota – G Netane Muti, Fresno State +

254. Denver – LB Markus Bailey, Purdue

255. NY Giants – RB Raymond Calais, Louisiana

  + denotes injury concerns

* denotes character concerns

[vld-verylesbiandefenders-blog]

Yet another soulmate AU

Ok, I know these AUs are overdone, but I want to write it anyway. This is a Klance Soulmate AU where you suddenly see in color when you first touch your soulmate. So far, I just have a basic intro, and I’d really like to expand on it, but I’ve never really done this before so? I’d appreciate feedback if anyone is willing. Anyway, I gave it two perspectives, and yea, enjoy? Keith ~ Day one at a new school. It’s a situation that Keith is all too familiar with, having bounced from home to home his whole life. Keith turns in a slow circle, eyes raking frantically across the crowd. He’s used to wide open desert plains, and to the solace of isolation. The other cadets are milling about, mingling, admiring the architecture (not that there’s much to admire), and Keith is reminded of just how awkward he is socially. The courtyard is teeming with people, and Keith is beginning to feel claustrophobic. The claustrophobia isn’t being caused by the campus itself, the buildings are low and there are plenty of gaps between them - Keith can see miles into the desert. No, Keith isn’t quite sure why he’s feeling so trapped and panicked. He’s been in this spot (albeit, not literally) a hundred times before. /I suppose it’s different now because I chose this/. He chose the Garrison, chose this path. He’s not sure why, but when the time came to choose his next step, after high school, it almost felt obvious. It seemed as though there was no other option for him. Going to the Garrison was just…right. Still, he needed to find Shiro, needed to find something - anything - familiar. He’s wading through the throng, searching, getting desperate. He’s about to call Shiro’s name when he remembers - the upperclassmen won’t be here for another week. Keith stops abruptly. The realization that he’ll be alone here for an entire week nearly makes him cry. /Shit, Kogane, get it together/. Suddenly the ground is rushing up to meet him and Keith is falling - he closes his eyes to brace for the impact. There are shouts and the sounds of laughter and falling bodies, cries of “ow!” and “watch it!”, and Keith knows that he’s not the only one who’s fallen, and feels a bit guilty because he had probably caused the collision when he stopped so suddenly. Still, he doesn’t dare open his eyes yet; realizing that some of the other students may well be ready to punish him if he truly had caused the crash, and knowing full well how awkwardly splayed out he is on the ground . Even though he knows that nearly everyone around him is in the same position, he’s still /mortified/. His eyes stay screwed shut as he remembers first days of the past where he had tripped and gotten hell for it right up until the day he left for the next school. He stays still for another moment, working up the courage and resolve to just get up, dust himself off, and move on. Before he can though, someone is speaking to him. “Ha, hola! Sorry about that. Are you okay? Here, take my hand.” Keith blindly sticks out his arm, glad for the friendly gesture, and his eyes shoot open when someone else grips his arm tightly, pulling him up. Keith gasps sharply, because suddenly he is staring into the most beautiful pair of eyes he’s ever seen. Deep, bottomless, like the ocean. They were shining brightly, so light, so seemingly carefree - like the way the poets describe the shallow reefs of the caribbean. But in those precious moments in which Keith allowed himself to study this handsome stranger, he could sense (more than see) a depth to those eyes. And while the idea of depth and of ocean trenches hidden in pretty blue eyes scared the hell out of him, he felt as though nothing in the world could be better than exploring the depths of this boy’s eyes. Those blue eyes that sparkled in the light, but also from within, and those faint, smooth, tiny lines that decorated the corne- /W A I T! Blue!? Oh my god, soulmates. Is it this boy? Can he see the colors too?/ He knows he needs to say something before this gets awkward, but /oh god/ it’s already awkward, I mean could this guy really be h- “The name’s Lance. Lance McClain.” Lance ~ Lance has never been so far from the ocean in his entire life. He’s never wanted anything more than he’s wanted to be a space cadet. He may be a swimmer, but he’s always wanted to fly. And yet, something about the dryness of the desert air, the quiet of a nature void of gulls and surf, and the lack of salt on the wind makes Lance more homesick than he ever thought possible. The unfamiliarity of the entire situation makes Lance want to turn around and go home, to the beach, tail between his legs. Lance is a lot of things, but he’s no coward, and he’s never been one to run /from/ his problems - often he’ll run at them head on (sometimes literally). He’s letting himself be pushed and moved gently by the crowd, not paying attention at all, consumed by scolding himself for being such a coward, when he feels himself being pushed over. He catches himself and stands up almost immediately, holding out a hand to help the person who fell next to him get up. “Ha, hola! Sorry about that,” he rubs the back of his neck awkwardly, embarrassed at being so easily caught off guard. “Are you okay? Here, take my hand,” the stranger accepts Lance’s outstretched hand, and Lance pulls him up. The stranger opens his eyes, and then the whole world falls away and all Lance can see is violet. Deep, nearly black, and sparkling in what looks like wonder. His eyes look like galaxies, and any doubt Lance had about his destiny lying at the Garrison, and in the cockpit of some machine flying across the skies and across the universe disappear as he states into that vast expanse of /space/ lying in the eyes of this handsome being. His heart skips a beat and he can’t tear his eyes away from this boy. His throat is starting to feel dry, so he decides to speaking now, before he just can’t. /Better hit him with my signature line, then/. “The name’s McClain. Lance McClain.” And those impossibly wide eyes get wider, and the stranger says “Keith. Keith Kogane,” with a voice like honey. Lance nearly shivers at the sound (/what the hell, McClain? Pull yourself together/), and he grins broadly and says, “Well, Kogane, it looks like you might have fallen for me.” Keith’s face is suddenly very red and Lance thinks it’s a gorgeous color on hi- /Dios mío, is he seeing…color!? Could Keith be his sou-/ “I guess I must have, McClain. I’ll see you around, then.” And suddenly he was gone and Lance can breathe - he hadn’t even realized he was struggling in the first place. Lance turns and immediately sets out to find Hunk because /holy shit/ he just found his soulmate, and it might just be that handsome stranger with galaxy eyes and a honey voice…and Lance might just be fucked if it isn’t.

[vivianbates]

Round Lake Loop & Pothole Falls in Lacamas Lake Regional Park

Potholes aren’t always bad. The creatively carved-out bedrock at Pothole Falls adds to the allure of the cascades. Pothole Falls is just a stone’s throw from Round Lake, a 26-acre body in Lacamas Lake Regional Park in Camas, Washington. Round Lake Loop Trail offers a relaxing nature trail through lake-edge forest. Circle Round Lake and check out Pothole Falls on a 1.6-mile outing with 200 feet of elevation change. Alternatively, you could skip Pothole Falls for a 1.45-mile loop or visit the falls and turn around there for a 1.1-mile out and back hike with less elevation change.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

The hike begins from a parking area for Lacamas Lake Regional Park (a.k.a. Lacamas Park) along NE Everett Street. If the main lot is full, you can park in an overflow lot, that is just around the corner and also located along the loop (so starting there won’t extend the distance of the hike).

Leave the parking area and walk east through the forest along a short channel flowing between Lacamas Lake and Round Lake. Shaded picnic tables and grills are situated along the wide trail, and you’ll probably spot people fishing from the shore.

A bench along the shore of Round Lake

After a tenth of a mile on a paved trail, come to a kiosk, located near a playground and bathrooms where the hike truly begins. The kiosk provides a load of information about the history and ecology of Camas Lake. You may also find a trail guide for Round Lake Loop with sixteen entries corresponding with numbered posts along the way.

Round Lake Loop Trail

Proceed on the gravel trail through a forest of tall conifers, admiring the lake to your left. A marshy area lies to the right, making the trail feel like it is crossing a forest land bridge. The trail exits the trees to offer a view of a dam and fish screen on Round Lake. A panel along the trail describes the fish screens:

The rotary fish screen was installed at the request of the Washington State Department of Game. The purpose was to prevent fish from leaving the lake and entering the mill ditch that was the main source of process water for the paper mill in those days. The “Fish wheel” serves the same purpose today, protecting and enhancing the lake as a habitat.

The fish screen and dam on Round Lake

The trail proceeds alongside the fish screens and comes to a trail junction, 1/3 of a mile from the start. Turn left to continue Round Lake Loop, pausing to read a sign describing the area’s dams (like the one you are about to cross). The panel offers a history of the dams:

The dams were constructed in 1883 to utilize the water from the Camas Mill operations. The original design was of earthen construction reinforced with wood. In 1923, they were upgrade to the wooden structures pictured here. They were later replaced around 1935 with the concrete structure you see today.

The dam’s construction raised the level of the lake by twelve feet and created a nice spillway that you can look over from the top of the dam.

Follow the trail across the dam on Round Lake. Near the center of the dam, you’ll find hand-operated gate valves that regulate the surface level of the lake. If the valves are open, look down the spillway of the dam where water rushes toward the creek below. Along the rocky banks of the creek, you may spot a few “potholes” like those seen at the waterfall downstream.

The spillway on Round Lake Dam

The dam also offers the loop’s best tree-branch-free views across Round Lake, wrapped in a verdant display of conifers.

The trail picks back up on the far side of dam. After passing marker #8 (and a lesson about the forest canopy in the trail guide), spot a path breaking off to the right. This is the first of two chances to leave the loop to visit Pothole Falls.

Less than half a mile from the start of the hike, turn right down a path through the forest to Pothole Falls. Walk through ferns and trillium for 150 yards to a fenced-off perch at the edge of the ravine framing Pothole Falls. (Along the way, you’ll pass another path joining from the left that you can use when it is time to return to Round Lake Loop).

From Pothole Falls Viewpoint, it can be hard to get a clear look at the waterfall through the dense foliage. A gap in the fence presents a steep route down the bank to the creek. The path down uses roots for steps and is badly eroded. The park could install a safer path down to the creek that lessened the damage to the environment.

Looking down on Pothole Falls

If you venture down the steep path, you’ll come to the bank of Lacamas Creek just upstream from the waterfalls fanned-out drop that is approximately 15 feet tall and three times as wide. Pothole Falls is a broad cascade with many terraces. Potholes are carved into rock all around the waterfall. These crevices in the bedrock resemble Native American grinding holes, but were formed naturally by fast moving water that carried hard rocks capable of grinding out the softer Troutdale Formation.

Pothole Falls

Leave the Camas Potholes and climb back up to the viewpoint and trail. You might try walking a bit farther down the trail to see if you can find a head-on view of Pothole Falls. When you’re finished, backtrack to the north and bear right at the split to return to Round Lake Loop. Just after the single-track path rejoins the wider trail, you will come to a marked multi-point junction. Take the wide trail on the left to continue around lake.

Round Lake Loop is level for a stretch, providing nice lake views to your left. You will quickly come to another junction, 0.7 miles from the start of the hike. Turn left again to ascend switchbacks up a hillside bordering the lake. The next stretch of trail provides most of the loop’s elevation change. Come up to a bench at a bend, with a loftier view of Round Lake. A path proceeding straight ahead might be usable to trim the climb off the lake circuit. To stick with Round Lake Loop Trail, follow it through a curve that rises back to the right.

Reach another junction near the high point of the loop by the Camas Lily Fields. Bear left to cross rolling terrain that leads back down to the lake. Along the side of the trail you may spot Camas Lilies in summer months that add beautiful splashes of purple, white, and yellow to the forest floor.

Camas lilies along the trail

After crossing a dip, Round Lake Loop Trail crosses another rise and then descends past a trickling creak. The trail curves to the left alongside the babbler and angles back down to Round Lake.

Approach the shoreline and step out onto a dock that extends into the lake. Enjoy broad lake views with the knowledge that the elevation change will be minimal over the final 0.45 miles. An entry in the trail guide explains that you might notice different colors in the lake water depending on when you visit:

Seasonal changes in the appearance of the lake can be seen from this viewing platform. During the wet season, the lake water is cloudy with fine suspended sediment that originated from erosion in the watershed. During the dry season, the greenish color of the lake is from millions of microscopic algae feeding on the rich nutrients in the water.

A dock on the shore of Round Lake

Round Lake

Leave the dock and continue up the trail, which crosses a bridge over a boggy wetland. Things dry out again as you cross through woods on the north side of the lake. After 1.4 miles of hiking (or 1.25 miles if you skipped Pothole Falls), come to the end of Round Lake Loop Trail. When the wide gravel trail runs into a sidewalk, turn left and ease down along the left side of NE 35th Avenue, passing the overflow parking area on the opposite side of the road. When you hit the intersection with NE Everett Street, turn left one last time.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

Finish things off by crossing a channel between Lacamas Lake and Round Lake. Lacamas Lake is to your right and is over 10 times larger than Round Lake, covering 296 acres. Across the channel, you will return to the main trailhead parking area, having completed the 1.6-mile Round Lake Loop with Pothole Falls.

This hike presents lovely lake and forest surroundings. What are the drawbacks: the stretch of sidewalk required to complete the loop, the overly-obscured perspective of Pothole Falls from the viewpoint, and the bad erosion on the path down to the side of the waterfall. Bikes and dogs are welcome. No permit is needed to hike Round Lake Loop and parking at Lacamas Lake Regional Park is free, so get out and enjoy!

To get to the trailhead: Coming from Portland, take Interstate 84 to I-205 and drive north for 5 miles into the state of Washington. Leave Interstate 205, following signs for Camas, and take exit 37 onto Washington 14. Drive east on Washington 14 for 5.5 to exit 12 for Camas. The offramp feeds into NW 6th Ave, which you will take for one mile. Turn left onto Division Street. Drive up to NE 17th Ave and turn right. At the end of the street, turn left on NE Everett Street. Drive another 3/4 of a mile to the trailhead parking area, which is on the left, just before the channel between Lacamas Lake and Round Lake.

Trailhead address: 3344 NE Everett Street, Camas, WA 98607 Trailhead coordinates: 45.60395, -122.4070 (45° 36′ 14.2″N 122° 24′ 25.2″W)

from hikespeak.com https://www.hikespeak.com/trails/round-lake-loop-pothole-falls-hike-lacamas-regional-park-washington/

[rob-blog1234]

WEEKEND TV HOT FILM PICKS!

Check out my guide to the top films on TV this weekend, best of the rest and what to avoid at all costs. Enjoy!

LATE FRIDAY 24th NOVEMBER

HOT PICKS!

More4 @ 2100     Rush (2013) *****

You may see this film advertised on TV and think it’s not for you as you are not really a big fan of Formula 1…STOP. This film transcends a simple “sports film” and is a fantastic film for all. It’s a biography of F1 champion Nikki Lauda, specifically around the 1976 F1 season, focusing on the intense relationship between himself and arch rival James Hunt, we see the highs and the lows of one of the most competitive relationships in sporting history. Ron Howard has pulled out all the stops here and created something quite amazing, packed full of emotion, with characters you can really feel, combined with some of the best action facing sequences I’ve seen for a long time - Rush is a great success. Sit down, strap in and hold on tight.

Horror @ 0220     Let the Right One In (2008) *****

This is my favourite film of 2009 (UK release date). This amazing vampire drama from Sweden did suffer the indignity of a U.S remake “Let Me In” - but luckily they somehow pulled that one off - but here’s the original in all its glory. A thoroughly engrossing and touching film based on a superb book. Watch this! 5 Stars. It’s a dark love story set in Sweden. The bleak and snowy back drop compliments the pace and mood of the film. The sound, direction and acting are all perfect. I find it very difficult to find fault with any part of it. The relationship that is built between our two young lead actors is simply fascinating to watch, there’s so much realism. This is a tender and touching film but also subtly horrifying. The end of this film will stay with me for a long time. So much is said with so few words. It really leaves a mark on you. A truly great film.

Best of the rest:

TCM @ 2100     Kill Bill Vol 1 (2003) *****

C4 @ 0005        Boyhood (2014) *****

ITV3 @ 0030     The Theory of Everything (2014) ****

TCM @ 2310     Goodfellas (1990) *****

Film4 @ 2310    Aliens (1986) *****

***SO BAD IT'S GOOD!***

Film4 @ 0215 Piranha DD (2012) * SO BAD IT'S GOOD!

I expected awful and even potentially unwatchable. I saw the reviews and prepared myself that I could even be angry with how bad this film would be... but would you believe it, it's not as bad as the majority say. This is a B-Movie that knows exactly what it is, doesn't apologise and really doesn't care. It makes no attempt to cover up its shortcomings, it uses them to its advantage. Don't get me wrong, this film isn't great, it's not even good but it just about squeezes in enough gratuitous wobbling body parts, awful jokes, ridiculous death scenes and, most importantly, appearances from Gary Busey and David Hasselhoff to make this throw away comedy better than you've read about in the press. If everyone understood this films place as well as its makers did, I think it would get a little less horrendous panning.

***AVOID AT ALL COSTS!***

W @ 2100    Dark Shadows (2012) * AVOID AT ALL COSTS!

Dark Shadows marks a definitive end to my patience for the continuing dross being offered from the Burton / Depp camp. I fail to actually see who this film was supposed to be for. If it's for adults it's far too childish, if it's for kids there is far too much innuendo and sexual themes. I personally think it's was for Burton himself who seems to know he can somehow churn out whatever tickles his fancy and still get paid. Very disappointing indeed.

SATURDAY 25th NOVEMBER

HOT PICKS!

C4 @ 2100      Ex Machina (2014) *****

I can't believe this was Alex Garland's directorial debut. He was the writer on 28 days Later and Sunshine - so here's his directorial debut and it's unmissable. It's hard to even think this is his first film at the helm. The film oozes beauty in every shot - the clinical setting and awesome camera work produce some fantastic visuals in what is in essence a very tight and small set with 3 main characters in the most part. Ex Machina is one of the best Sci-Fi films to come out in recent years. It follows Domhnall Gleeson as Caleb, a 26 year old coder for the world’s largest internet company. He wins a competition to spend a week at the private mountain retreat of the company CEO - Nathan (Oscar Issac). Nathan is a recluse and the social interactions between the two are fascinating. Caleb finds out that he is to participate in an experiment interacting with the world’s first true artificial intelligence, housed in the body of a beautiful robot girl played by Alicia Vikander. This is true Sci-Fi. It could very easily be set right now. It's only a matter of time before one of the big players launch something truly stunning. Thought provoking, brilliantly story telling that keeps your eyes glued to each interaction and the wonderful script wraps its way right through you. It lingers long after the credits roll. Don't miss this. Look out for the trailer for his next step into Sci-Fi that I for one am very excited about… Annihilation.

Horror @ 2100     The Descent (2005) *****

The best British Horror film of the noughties. Neil Marshall’s superb Brit Shock Horror “The Descent” is chilling, creepy and full of suspense. It’s packed full of shocks, not just run of the mill cheap tricks, these are great shocks, perfectly timed with fantastic twists. This was just what the genre needed. It withstands multiple watches and has become a firm favourite of mine. If all else fails… Stick The Descent on.

A group of young women go on a caving expedition that goes horribly wrong and they soon become lost in an uncharted cave system. As panic escalates they come across some strange and very dangerous creatures. Here begins a fight for survival. This is a very accomplished Horror that excels in all aspects; the relatively unknown cast are all superb and help along the back story nicely. The cinematography is second to none, capturing all the awkward angles of the confined spaces as well as the vast open space of the caves; the story is wonderfully layered and is excellently told. This certainly is NOT a cheap teen horror. Neil Marshall hit our radar with his 2002 debut “Dog Soldiers” which was a lot of fun and showed a lot of talent, but in 2005, he had obviously honed his skills and produced this dark, bloody and claustrophobic Horror with a fantastic story line. It has some beautifully executed twists that will stick in your mind for a long while. From the very off this film is set at full speed and rarely lets up - every time your adrenalin begins to drop you are thrown back into heart stopping tension and fantastic frights that all add up to one of the great Horrors of modern times. If you like Horror… Love this.

Best of the rest:

Film4 @ 1300     Field of Dreams (1989) *****

ITV2 @ 1850       Inception (2010) *****

TCM @ 2100      Goodfellas (1990) *****

ITV4 @ 2300       Full Metal Jacket (1987) *****

SUNDAY 26th NOVEMBER

HOT PICKS!

Sony @ 1630     Another Earth (2011) ****

Through all the improbabilities and implausible ideas in this elaborate work of fiction, Mike Cahill brings us a subtle, affecting and intimate story that takes place as we discover another planet, another Earth, getting closer and closer to our planet. An exact replica. This huge and admittedly outrageous Sci-Fi concept is merely a sub plot to the main event - It is a story of how two people meet and how their relationship, forged through tragedy, grows.

Brit Marling, who not only co-wrote this film but it is also her fantastic debut in the lead role as Rhoda, turns this light weight, low budget story of a tragic relationship into a serious heavy weight contender. This is no doubt the start of a great career for her. I still haven't managed to catch her in the 2012 release Sound of My Voice which I'm very much looking forward to.

The film does raise a ton of unanswerable questions but sensibly chooses to stick to its guns and focus purely on Rhoda, her decisions and the reasons for the path she takes. This emotionally charged Indie Sci-Fi fascinates and mesmerises with its subtle, slow pace, mysterious soundtrack and affecting performances.

C5 @ 2100       Fury (2014) ****

There are plenty of war films with the same old formula, and this film does follow a rather formulaic approach, but here we focus solely on a U.S. Sherman tank crew. Not since the amazing Kelly’s Heroes had I seen a film focus on these tanks. A history lesson in itself for the ignorant and uneducated - the Nazi Tiger tanks they are up against completely and utterly out gun them and with armour so strong - the Sherman’s found it extremely difficult to stop them. Comparatively this film is nothing like the almost light hearted, satirically barbed Kelly’s Heroes, here we have a film attempting to capture the realism of war, the death, the squalor and the sheer inhumanity. It does this very well.

It’s dark, rich colour palette and beautifully framed cinematography certainly keep your eyes glued to the screen. The poor Sherman crews did not have much hope. We are taken deep inside the belly of “Fury” the Sherman tank with crew of 5 led by Don “Wardaddy” Collier played by Brad Pitt. Never before have I seen such oddly perfect hair styling in a war zone since Clint Eastwood’s barnet in Where Eagles Dare.

The claustrophobia of the tank is captured really well but it also somehow creates space with every odd angle when we see times where this crew felt secure in their new found home. The performances are the icing on the cake here with everyone pulling out performances to be very proud of. Not a film that will survive a re-watch mainly down to its bleakness, but never the less a film I am very pleased to have seen.

Film4 @ 2320     The Lincoln Lawyer (2011) ****

Before McConaughey did anything good at a time when mediocrity saturated his filmography with sub-standard Rom-Coms and Sahara… I hate Sahara…. Anyway - Here we see him in a fantastic role as (you guessed it) a lawyer who works out of the back of his car - a Lincoln… See what they did there! I’m a sucker for a good court room drama and this is certain one of those. Plenty of twists. Stand out McConaughey. Great supporting cast. Don’t miss it.

Sony @ 2320      Sunshine (2007) *****

It’s been a while since this has graced our TV schedule. Don’t miss Danny Boyle’s splendid venture into the space Sci-Fi genre: Sunshine. I love this film. It pulls from so many influences from Science Fiction greats such as Alien, 2001, and even Event Horizon. The film is set 50 years in the future, a team of astronauts are sent on a mission to reignite the dying sun. They are Earth’s last hope of survival.

Sunshine relies heavily on the quality of the cast to drive this through and they all do a sterling job. Particularly Cillian Murphy and Chris Evans. They all capture the essence of how 16 months cooped up in a confined space must make you feel. The mission takes a turn when they find the original lost ship from a failed mission in a decaying orbit around the sun. This is the beginning of a string of unfortunate and strange events that put not only their lives but their mission to save the world as well.

Boyle dishes out some seriously tense scenes and towards the end of the film it changes from Sci-Fi to Horror as certain things are revealed. Although not everyone welcomed these changes, I think they worked really well and it was a good twist ultimately carrying film to conclusion. Sunshine is a thrilling and very gripping Sci-Fi feast from a great British Director. A must see film.

Best of the rest:

ITV2 @ 1605       Despicable Me (2010) ***

Film4 @ 1705     The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992) *****

C4 @ 1805          Men In Black 3 (2012) ***

TCM @ 2100       The Day of the Jackal (1973) ****

Sony @ 2100      Unbreakable (2000) ****

***AVOID AT ALL COSTS!***

Film4 @ 2100     Cowboys & Aliens (2011) * AVOID AT ALL COSTS!

First off - Ignore the cast. You would wrongly assume that a film with Harrison Ford / Daniel Craig / Sam Rockwell / Olivia Wilde / Paul Dano / Walter Goggins & Clancey Brown would at least be slightly watchable. You would be wrong. It may as well have cast Hugh / Pew / Barney McGrew / Cuthbert / Dibble & Grub. Disjointed, Unentertaining, dull and horribly boring - Nothing stands out here. I haven’t felt this disappointed in a “Western” since Wild Wild West and I’m still angry about the sheer existence of that grot. Why was this film even made?? Maybe it’s a cover for something bigger, maybe Money Laundering!!? - filtering money through the stinking bowels of this “film”…Who knows… What I do know - AVOID AT ALL COSTS!  

BBC2 @ 2240     John Carter (2012) * AVOID AT ALL COSTS!

What an unfortunately boring waste of a colossal budget. Slap-dash, hurried and choppy story with some ludicrous ideas. We’ve seen enough special effects to now not be simply wow-ed by that alone. John Carter looks good but bored the hell out of me. AVOID!