#i mean like listen i like the full circle and i can appreciate the symbolism and shit

[teetering-dinosaur]

I CANNOT BELIEVE the writers wrote the line "i don't want to be alone" for loki and then left him in a tree for eternity

[gimmethatagustd]

falling into you (5) | kth + myg

Sometimes Taehyung thinks he loves his roommate so much it makes him sick.

↳ pairing: superhero!taehyung x superhero!yoongi

↳ rating/genre: BTS | 18+ | college au | fantasy | roommates to lovers | fluff | light angst | light smut

↳ wc/date: 3.9k | September 2023

↳ warnings: every chapter is just PINING; the hanahaki is in full force !

↳ notes: when i say "light angst" i really mean full-blown angst tbh

↳ masterlist / taglist

↳ what was jai listening to? the series playlist

Taehyung looks down at the yellow flower petals scattered across his wooden tabletop. They’re damp with phlegm and speckled with dirt that alarms Taehyung, though not as much as the petals' existence. Black-eyed Susans are annual flowers native to North America that appear during the late summer and early autumn. They’re one of Taehyung’s favorite flowers. He enjoys how simple they are. Daisy-like in appearance, Black-eyed Susans typically have upright green stems with thin, pointy yellow petals circling a black or brown center. However, Taehyung appreciates the variations they can come in. They grow well in the greenhouse’s warm environment, and Taehyung has a small pot on one of the shelving units near the back of the greenhouse.

Although Taehyung doesn’t dabble in flower symbolism like some plant lovers do (mostly because he can speak to plants and get to know their personalities rather than rely on almanacs to tell him made-up theories), he will admit that he likes the symbolism of Black-eyed Susans. Humans have attributed the flowers to feelings of motivation, resilience, and encouragement. They’re optimistic flowers by nature, so Taehyung is inclined to believe in the symbolism.

The appearance of Black-eyed Susans on this rainy Sunday afternoon isn’t a good omen, however.

Rain patters against the greenhouse, making the glass roof and walls fog from the difference in temperatures between the inside of the greenhouse and the gloomy weather outside. It may come as a surprise to some, but Taehyung loves the rain. Not only is the sound of rain hitting the roof comforting, but it’s the driving force of all nature. Without rain, life wouldn’t exist. Therefore, he is thankful for its calming and life-giving qualities.

Today, however, the rain depresses Taehyung. Perhaps because he’s dying. Maybe. Probably.

Looking down at his phone, Taehyung lets out a small sound of frustration. Jungkook is a supergenius; why is he giving Taehyung information about a made-up disease? Jungkook needs to stop reading so much BL manhwa. Taehyung is experiencing a genuine medical emergency!

The sound of the heavy wooden backdoor creaking open startles Taehyung into action. Seokjin is weaving through the aisles of floor-level flowerbeds, large pots, and shelving units. In a panic, Taehyung starts scooping the damp petals into the pockets of his mud-smeared apron. He attempts to hide whatever is left within the clumps of dirt on the workbench.

“Taehyung-ah,” Seokjin greets him with a smile. “Why is it that you’re always so stressed these days?”

“I’m not stressed,” Taehyung lies through his teeth, knowing that the pheromones he’s giving off will betray his true feelings to Seokjin and the greenhouse plants. It’s so unfair that he has no control over the aura he puts off.

With a playful roll of his eyes, Seokjin hauls a basket of strawberries onto the workbench beside the pot of orange and white lilies Taehyung has been prepping. He thought the apartment would look nice with fresh flowers, which is the humane way of having a bouquet without killing the plants. Taehyung doesn’t understand the point of a bouquet. Why wouldn’t someone want to plant the flowers and care for them long-term?

“So,” Seokjin tries again. “Are you still not feeling well?”

Taehyung watches him use the sink at the end of the workbench to wash the dirty strawberries and put them into clean jars. “I feel fine.”

Seokjin cocks his eyebrow when Taehyung quickly buries his face into the crook of his elbow and coughs rather violently. “Fine?”

“Mhm,” Taehyung mumbles weakly and silently prays that there won’t be petals left behind when he lifts his head.

Of course, the universe is out to get him.

He quickly turns his body away from Seokjin to brush off the sleeve of his sweater. When the petals fall to the ground, Taehyung kicks them under the table. Seokjin gives him a small smile once Taehyung turns back around.

“Would you like to talk about why you’re coughing so much? Or do I need to let you figure it out on your own?” he asks quietly, dark eyes roaming Taehyung’s confused expression.

“It’s just a cold. I’ll go to the infirmary on Monday,” Taehyung promises as he brushes dirt off the pot. If Seokjin is implying that he knows why Taehyung is coughing, he’s unfortunately confused. There’s no way for Seokjin to know the truth. Jungkook doesn’t even know. “I’ll see you tomorrow, hyung. I need to go before the rain gets worse.”

Taehyung doesn’t wait for Seokjin’s reply. He quickly bows his head a few times, a slight bob that flops his wavy golden bangs on his forehead, and then dashes out of the greenhouse with his plant cradled in his arms.

The rain is unforgiving as he hurries to his apartment, plastering his hair to his face and making his clothes hang heavily on his lanky limbs by the time he enters the apartment lobby. He did his best to protect the lilies by shielding them with his body, even if that meant the uncomfortable bend in his back caused him to cough up more flower petals at least three times before he finally made it home.

Taehyung doesn’t consider himself an angry person. If anything, he tries to maintain a relatively neutral emotional state. Today, though… Today, he’s ready to chuck his phone at his bedroom wall because Jungkook is being the exact opposite of helpful right now. At least Yoongi isn’t home to hear Taehyung hacking up flower petals and phlegm and screaming into his pillow because not only is he potentially dying, but now his room is a disaster from how disgusting this supposed disease is, and he has an essay due at midnight!

It’s going to take forever to vacuum up all these nasty petals. Taehyung is pretty sure the last cough had a little blood in it, but he forces himself not to think about that. He’s so bent out of shape that even Jisoo the Jade Plant and Bobby the Boatlily are silent as Taehyung paces the room.

What is he going to do? In all seriousness, this truly is an emergency. If Taehyung had thought he was broken before, he certainly is now. Perhaps he should have asked Seokjin to explain himself; he’s the only person Taehyung knows who would understand. In all of Taehyung’s extensive research of people with powers like his – or at least something similar – he has never encountered a situation like this.

The shooting sensation that comes right before Taehyung accidentally blows something up slices down his spine. Doubling over from the sharp pain, Taehyung squeezes his eyes shut and grasps at his chest, willing the energy coursing through his nervous system to subside.

Sweat beads along his hairline and dampens his bangs as he focuses on the tightness in his chest. It’s disgusting, the sensation of something twisting inside him, like vines squeezing his lungs.

But it works.

Taehyung collapses onto the floor and immediately coughs up more flower petals. The force of the coughs makes his back arch like a cat. It’s painful now, but he gets the result he wanted. None of his plants explode.

His hands are shaking too much to send another text to Jungkook, so Taehyung calls him instead. He sits on the edge of his bed, gently rocking back and forth to calm himself as the phone rings - lasting only three chimes before Jungkook picks up because Taehyung is sure he’s been waiting. Once Jungkook answers, Taehyung puts him on speaker and sets the phone next to him on part of the bed not covered in flower petals.

“Why aren’t you using your powers?” Jungkook immediately dives into the interrogation that Taehyung was anticipating. It’s still annoying, even if Taehyung knew it was coming.

With a huff, Taehyung presses his palms against his eyes and tries not to cry.

“They’re getting out of control, okay? For months, I haven’t been able to control them! So now I’m just not going to use them, and everything is fine!” Deep down, the rational part of Taehyung knows his reasoning doesn’t make sense, but that part of him is overruled by the part that’s stressed out.

Jungkook’s voice is softer when he asks, “Why can’t you control them, hyung?”

Dropping his hands into his lap, Taehyung stares at the wall across from him where his desk sits. There’s a little picture frame on the corner of his desk. The frame is shaped like a sunflower, with a circular photo in the middle, surrounded by big yellow petals. The photo is of Taehyung and Yoongi on the day that they met. It was at a Pride event that Hoseok’s LGBTQ+ student organization hosted. Taehyung and Yoongi are beaming at the camera with their fingers raised in peace signs pressed against their cheeks. Yoongi is wearing a giant, fuzzy rainbow boa across his shoulders, and Taehyung is in an embarrassing, too-small ladybug dress Jungkook had forced him to wear.

“Taehyung, right? You look cute,” Yoongi laughed as he leaned into Taehyung’s side, off-centered from being a bit drunk. “We should take a picture.”

With a sigh and fresh tears trickling down his cheeks, Taehyung looks down at the phone as if he can see Jungkook sitting there patiently waiting for him to crack finally.

“It’s Yoongi hyung,” Taehyung confesses. “Every time I’m around him, or even if I think about him, I make my plants explode. It hurts them, Jungkook.”

“And it hurts you, too,” Jungkook points out. It makes Taehyung’s heart ache.

“I don’t understand…”

The two men are momentarily silent, letting Taehyung’s situation sink in. Taehyung hears Jungkook sigh through the phone and then some rustling.

“Do you love him?”

The question makes the creepy crawlies in Taehyung’s chest wiggle. He grits his teeth when he responds, “Yeah. But… please don’t tell him. He won’t want to be my friend anymore.”

“What?!” Jungkook’s voice screeches through the phone. The loudness startles Taehyung, and he nearly knocks his phone onto the floor. “Hyung, are you kidding me? Yoongi hyung adores you, what the fuck?”

“Stop yelling at me. I don’t feel good,” Taehyung whines.

“Right. Sorry.” Jungkook pauses. “This is literally just like Hanahaki Disease.”

“Can you quit it with that!” The audacity.

“I’m so serious.” Taehyung can imagine Jungkook rolling his eyes at him. “You’re getting so emotional about liking Yoongi that you’re keeping your powers inside of you. You aren’t letting your feelings out, and your powers don’t have anywhere to go. You literally made flowers grow inside of you, hyung, because you won’t just let yourself be free to express yourself.”

The realization that by suppressing his powers, Taehyung is making his body malfunction is so blatantly obvious when Jungkook explains it that Taehyung feels stupid. He presses his hand to his chest and tries to channel his energy into feeling beyond the tightness– to what’s inside.

Flowers. Beautiful flowers sing to Taehyung, a song so full of sorrow that it makes him crack even more.

“I trapped them,” Taehyung mutters, his voice quiet and far off.

“Yes, you did.”

“Well…” Taehyung messes with the hem of his shirt, realizing a few petals are sticking to it. He really shouldn't be sitting on his bed right now; his clothes are still wet. In this current mindset, though, Taehyung isn't sure if he can care about much else aside from the situation at hand. “What am I supposed to do now?”

Jungkook gives Taehyung the answer he doesn’t want: “Tell him.”

Taehyung can’t do this. He can’t. Jungkook has too much faith in him. It’s not even pessimism making Taehyung doubt himself; he’s coming to this conclusion based on pure evidence.

Exhibit A: Yoongi is home, and Taehyung is hiding in his bedroom.

Exhibit B: Yoongi knocked on Taehyung’s door, knowing Taehyung was home because Hoseok heard Taehyung stressing out inside his head when he walked Yoongi to the apartment, and Taehyung pretended he was asleep.

Exhibit C: Yoongi texted Taehyung, asking if he was okay, and Taehyung turned off his phone.

The problem with roommates is that they live with you. The problem with life is that it doesn’t stop even when you want to hide away in your corner of the world and pray for it to slow down.

For nearly twenty minutes, Taehyung tries to hold in a cough. He knows Yoongi is sitting in the living room because he can hear the record player going. It’s one of Yoongi’s favorite albums: All Eyez on Me. Taehyung isn’t sure what that means for the mood Yoongi is in right now, but he can’t think about it too much because he focuses on keeping himself under control. When the cough finally bursts through Taehyung’s tight-lipped grimace, he hopes Yoongi can’t hear it over 2Pac’s "Shorty Wanna Be a Thug."

“Taehyung-ah?” Yoongi calls out, and Taehyung curses under his breath. The music stops, and the floor creaks as Yoongi nears Taehyung’s bedroom. “Are you okay?”

“Y-yeah, I’m fine!” Taehyung croaks.

“You don’t sound fine…” Yoongi drums his knuckles against the door. “Can I come in? I can help you.”

Of course, Yoongi can help Taehyung; he has the power of healing. Not only that, but Jungkook is convinced that if Taehyung admits his feelings, he’ll be cured. All Taehyung has to do is ask Yoongi to come in…

“Uhhh…” Heart pounding and hands shaking, Taehyung quickly brushes petals off his bed and tries to toss as many as possible into an empty flower pot sitting on the floor by his desk. It’s impossible to hide them all; there are too many.

“Tae?” The door creaks, and Taehyung imagines Yoongi is leaning his shoulder against it as he waits.

“Um, uh,” Taehyung takes a deep breath. “You can come in.”

The moment Yoongi enters Taehyung’s bedroom, his face falls. The dusting of pink on his cheeks drains, making his face look ashen and solemn. He draws his bottom lip between his teeth and nibbles on it as his eyes scan Taehyung’s bedroom, taking in the flower petals. When those troubled eyes finally land on Taehyung’s face, Yoongi’s face crumbles.

“Oh, Taehyung-ah,” Yoongi calls out softly. “What happened?”

It’s instinctual the way Taehyung falls into Yoongi’s outstretched arms. He lets Yoongi hold him close, even allowing himself to nuzzle his face into the crook of Yoongi’s neck without shame. Eucalyptus and peppermint evade his senses, automatically calming him. His tears cease to fall, and his hands no longer shake because he bunches the hem of Yoongi’s oversized t-shirt into his fists.

“I have flowers inside me,” Taehyung whispers into Yoongi’s shoulder. His body hurts from coughing, and he leans most of his weight onto Yoongi. Yoongi can handle it, though. He’s strong, as always, keeping Taehyung upright. His large hands caress Taehyung’s back, gently rubbing along his spine as Taehyung takes deep breaths.

“You’re sick?” Yoongi asks. Taehyung can’t expect him to understand, but he can’t find the energy to explain what’s happening. There’s only one thing that will make this better.

“Mhm,” Taehyung hums an affirmation. He feels warm and gooey, a chocolate chip cookie straight from the oven, broken apart by Yoongi’s strong hands. “You’re healing me.” It isn’t a question.

Yoongi’s hands on Taehyung’s back pause. “I’m sorry. I should have asked permission.”

“It feels good. I hurt all over, hyung. It hurts.”

Nodding his head, Yoongi resumes rubbing Taehyung’s back. They stay like that for a long time, content to be in each other’s arms while Yoongi patiently waits for Taehyung to explain the situation further.

“Hyung…” Taehyung slowly pulls back, far enough to look at Yoongi’s face. There’s that adoration again, a look so gentle and kind that Taehyung feels the tightness in his chest break apart. The longer Yoongi holds him, the easier it becomes to breathe. “I…”

Yoongi nods his head in encouragement.

“I think – no, no, I know I love you,” Taehyung chokes out.

It’s a shame he doesn’t know what Yoongi’s reaction is. The moment the confession leaves his lips, Taehyung squeezes his eyes shut as his whole body shudders. He bends over and coughs what he somehow knows is the remaining bout of petals deep inside his lungs. They’re frail and lackluster in color.

Falling to his knees, Taehyung gasps for air as the strange feeling in his chest slowly disappears, like vines receding into the dirt. His eyes fly open when strong arms come around his waist and hoist him up. When Yoongi settles him into his lap, Taehyung turns toward his body to rest his head on Yoongi’s shoulder.

“That was the strangest thing I’ve ever seen,” Yoongi muses. When Taehyung attempts a weak laugh, Yoongi pulls him tighter against his chest. “Why didn’t you tell me you felt this way?”

“You said dating friends is bad,” Taehyung reminds him. He stares down at his lap and wishes he wasn’t so upset that he can’t appreciate that he’s sitting in Yoongi’s lap.

“When did I say that?” Yoongi leans back slightly to look Taehyung in the eyes.

“That one time we played Hobi hyung’s questions game.”

Yoongi huffs at that, but Taehyung doesn’t know what it means. “That was ages ago, Taehyung. Besides… I, um…” Yoongi clears his throat. Taehyung realizes the color has returned to his cheeks. “It was my way of telling Hobah not to tease me.”

Taehyung furrows his eyebrows. “Tease you about what?”

Yoongi’s eyes drop to Taehyung’s lips. He suddenly feels self-conscious about having his crush look at him so closely, even though Yoongi has seen every side of Taehyung – the good, the bad, and the ugly. Especially the ugly. It comes with the territory of living with someone, Taehyung supposes. It’s hard to hide the undesirable parts of yourself from your roommate.

“I didn’t want him to tease me about how much I like you,” Yoongi whispers. “Love you, actually. I love you, too.”

“Oh…” Taehyung blinks and is very aware of how close his face is to Yoongi’s. It doesn’t help that Yoongi’s eyes keep flitting between locking with Taehyung’s and looking at his lips. “Oh.”

“Ahh, yeah,” Yoongi admits sheepishly. He ruffles the back of his hair and gives Taehyung a small smile. “I’ve been trying to tell you for a while but kept getting too nervous. I, mean, I’m still kind of nerv–”

Taehyung should ask to kiss Yoongi, but he doesn’t. He dives in before he can talk himself out of it. He’s glad he does, of course. Kissing Yoongi frees the last bit of discomfort that had seeped into Taehyung’s bones. The comfort of his pillowy lips on Taehyung’s calms the anxious knot inside his chest. His stress unfurls as Yoongi begins kissing him back, his hands sliding up Taehyung’s back to hold him close as he applies more pressure to their kiss.

Their lips move together in a slow dance like autumn leaves swirling around each other when kicked up in the wind. When they finally pull away, the tip of Taehyung’s tongue brushes against Yoongi’s bottom lip, and Taehyung thinks he tastes the way lilacs smell.

“I think I’m better now,” Taehyung blurts. The laugh that erupts from Yoongi’s chest endears Taehyung and makes him want to hide under his blankets in embarrassment for saying something stupid.

“Good,” Yoongi says with a smile that crinkles the corners of his eyes. “Though I’m very disappointed in you.” Taehyung hides in the crook of Yoongi’s neck because he knows what’s coming next. “I explicitly asked you to tell me when something’s wrong, and you lied to me.”

“I did not lie!” Taehyung groans, but he smiles against Yoongi’s skin. “Maybe I lied a little.”

“You can’t only lie a little. You either did or you didn’t. And you did,” Yoongi teases, and Taehyung decides that there’s nothing else he wants more in life than to be on the receiving end of Yoongi’s teasing.

The pair remain sitting on the floor for the rest of the night as Yoongi asks Taehyung to finally share his struggles with him. Now that they know this can happen to Taehyung, Yoongi wants to make sure Taehyung knows what to do when he feels like he might be repressing his powers again. It’s sweet how concerned Yoongi is for Taehyung’s well-being. He always has been, but it feels different now that Taehyung knows Yoongi loves him, too.

It’s also sweet to receive little kisses in between stories. Taehyung knew being kissed by Yoongi would be life-changing if it ever happened to him. And not just kisses on the lips, but kisses on his eyelids, cheeks, and forehead – god, the forehead kisses! They’re the best, Taehyung decides. They make him feel so, so soft.

What a beautiful thing it is to be loved by Yoongi.

Taehyung feels it in his chest, this flourishing feeling. It’s nothing like the tightness from before. This time, love seeps into his bones rather than stress and fear. This sensation brings him tranquility and light. So much so that Taehyung eventually drifts off to sleep, still in Yoongi’s embrace.

“Taehyung-ah,” Yoongi attempts to rouse Taehyung. “Let's get you to bed, okay?”

With his eyes still closed, Taehyung shakes his head. Physical and emotional exhaustion has caught up with him, but he can’t extricate himself from Yoongi. It sounds like the worst idea in the history of the world.

“I change my mind. I’m not better yet,” Taehyung slurs with drowsiness. Taehyung’s head bobs up and down with the force of Yoongi’s laughter.

“Want me to lie with you?” Yoongi asks. He runs his fingers through Taehyung’s bangs, gently pushing them away from his face as Taehyung lifts his head. It feels good, but everything feels good with Yoongi.

“Okay,” he concedes with eyes still closed. He lets Yoongi maneuver him off his lap and forces himself to stand up because superstrength isn’t one of Yoongi’s powers, and Taehyung is much bigger than him.

He and Yoongi have never cuddled but fall naturally into place once their backs hit the mattress. Much to Taehyung’s surprise, Yoongi rests his head on Taehyung’s chest and wraps his arm around his waist. It’s silly, but the position makes Taehyung feel special, like he’s somehow in charge of ensuring Yoongi has a good cuddling experience. He worries his chest is too bony and his body too thin to feel comfortable.

Yoongi must pick up on Taehyung’s struggle from his stiff body language because he lets out a quiet huff of a laugh and says, “Relax, Tae. I’m happy.”

“I’m happy, too,” Taehyung whispers.

Throughout the apartment, Taehyung’s plants coo.

series masterlist

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[phyrs]

To Survive is to Stay Alive in the Face of Opposition

December 8,

A significant date to celebrate someone who I adore.

Dear Onika Tanya Maraj,

Today is a full circle moment.

I’m so grateful for having you as one of the main person that i look up to in my whole life so far. Nothing can make me feel content other than your appearances. Your inducing words put me in so much constructive mindset on each day.

I've never in my whole entire life thinking that I'd found someone that is incredibly inspiring and empowering. I grew up listening to your music since I was 7 year old and the fact that you're still dominating and relevant is absolutely bizarre to me. I would never be who I am now without your impact on style, music, persona, hardwork and intelligence. Looking back from where you came from to the place that you are now is proven that it's crucial to appreciate all the little steps to reach the top of the ladder.

Life is so beautiful. You can develop multiple versions of yourself just by experiencing. I am in love of how you treat your music like a diary. I have been waiting for this album for five years. A lot can happen in five years. You’ve been a mogul, a legend, and a mother. Great art takes time. And this masterpiece is not just a masterpiece. It is a staple for Hip-Hop and the Music Industry.

Here are my Top 5 Favorite songs from the album + Review;

Pink Friday 2

Now before i start, words aren’t enough to determine how i feel. But I’d say that Are You Gone Already made me goosebumps. Life can be so tough. You can be euphoric but something else could intensely break your spirit. This song is a progressive motion of that experience. I knew this song is going to be a melancholic once I heard Papa Bear’s voice. What a genius way to start the album. I couldn’t imagine how it feels for a father never got to meet his grandson and losing a father at the same time. Sending my condolences to Nicki and her family. Sampling "when the party's over" by Billie Eilish not only strengthen the meaning of this song, but creates an immaculate texture and atmosphere of the album. So proud to know that this is the intro of the album.

5. Fallin 4 U

The first note that came out from the violin increased my heartbeat. I've always loved when she sings the background vocals that feels like a destiny to a particular song. It just fits the album like a pair of gloves. A solid proof that Nicki pays attention to every details in the production. I'm obsessed with how she spits rap in the second verse with multiple word plays and bars that you need to listen repeatedly to really decipher the meaning behind it.

4. Nicki Hendrix ft. Future

I fall in love with the texture of this song that complements the atmosphere of the album. Her vocals gave me life. The mixing of the outro is a spiritual experience with futuristic twist sonically.

3. Big Difference

A Hip-Hop classic. No words can describe the gaggery of her lyrical content, delivery, cadence and most importantly the production. Once the beat switches in the second verse, it just immediately explodes the album.

2. Everybody ft. Lil Uzi Vert

Instant hit. You can't listen to this song without bopping around and jump. It sounds like fireworks. The true exuberant of the album. Epicness.

1. Just The Memories

As a fan, it is impossible to listen to this song without crying. It is a symbolic for hope, longevity and memories.

My favourite lines are;

Greatest female rapper to ever live, and that's on my kid (Memories) I could've overdosed, could've been comatosed Wait, hold on, Juice, I feel the baby kickin', holy smokes I prayed for a son, my husband wanted one If they ask about me, tell 'em I was one of one

One word to describe the album.

Mellifluous.

This is such a monumental element in my life. I could not thank you enough for this. I hope you are blessed with tremendous amount of happiness. You deserve everything that you desire. I will always continue to admire and love you.

Happy Birthday

Nicki Minaj.

Love,

Fairus

[chaozsilhouette]

A Father’s Love

Another piece for @winterpower98's Swap Au.

I don’t really have a time frame for this scene, but with all the horror MK has had to endure in this AU I couldn’t help myself. I just needed a bit of fluff to break up my writing. Plus, I am all for Tang showing just how much he loves MK and being a protective father figure.

The poor boy needs a break, but we all know it won’t last.

_____________________________

“Well now, aren’t you a stubborn human.” Sun Wukong mused as he took in the one who dared to separate him from his creation.

The ground was split in a dozen directions. Craters dotted the landscape. The scent of volatile magic soaked the air. Yet, in the center of all this was a small circle of undisturbed land where his boy and the human stood unharmed.

The human didn’t look particularly impressive. If he had to guess, somewhere in his early to late thirties. He was obviously healthy but still suffered from the weaknesses all humans share. No, what truly caught his attention was the strangest sensation he knew this human. Almost as if the golden fillet was readying itself by his mere presence.

The human’s talent in magic was nothing to scoff at. Admittedly, it was nothing he couldn’t brush off, but seeing a human wielding so much raw power was supposed to be nearly impossible in this modern age. However, defying the odds here one stood before him trying to keep him from one of his treasures.

He was not alone in his curiosity. The Monkey King watched as MK stared at the bespeckled man in utter surprise.

“Since when could you do that?!” The newly revealed monkie demon all but screeched.

“Not too long.” The scholar cryptically stated.

His annoyance at the lack of an answer freed Mk of his fear. Just enough to swallow his need to be supported during this horrible moment and say what needed to be said. “You’ve got to run! Forget about me and get the others to safety!”

“I’d listen to my son if I were you, human.” The tyrant stated with a cocky smirk. “Since he’s started to learn his lesson about where he belongs I can be generous. You can take all your friends back home to rest up and we can continue another day.”

With a trembling hand, MK desperately gripped Tang’s pant leg. Praying that his love would be translated behind his pathetic display. “Please. I can’t see you get hurt because of me.” They were the kindest people he ever had the pleasure of knowing. He couldn’t bear knowing they got hurt trying to save him. The only reason they were in this crisis was because of him. If he hadn’t been so weak...

If he didn’t allow himself to be used, Wukong would still be trapped.

“Mk, you know I can’t leave anyone behind to suffer this tyrant’s hospitality.” The word was hissed out with more venom than a viper pit. “Especially not after learning of Macaque’s past.” Tang adjusted his stance so his side now supported the youth. His fingers twitched randomly, his eyes remained locked onto the armored demon. “Besides, we both know Mei would gut the two of us if we even think of considering it.”

It made no sense. They were in the presence of a being that filled the nightmares of all, from the lowliest human to celestial kings, yet young simian couldn’t help but smile. “Good point.” Compared to the Monkey Tyrant the young dragon was an insect, but she had earned the fear that accompanied her ire.

“Such a touching display. But do you really think you will be able to give him what he needs? That others will accept who he really is? You can say you love him until the sun blows up, but it will never change the fact he is me.” The Monkey King’s smile showed nothing but cruel amusement, but his tail betrayed his fraying patience.

“Do you take me for a fool? It doesn’t matter what he looks like, where he came from, or how he started out. He is my Son! And I refuse to let anyone abuse his kind heart ever again!”

Two hands slammed into the ground with unnatural force. Mystic runes and circles filled the air as the battlefield was bathed in a gentle yellow light. Golden ropes wrapped around the Tyrant as the earth formed a five-sided fortress around him. Symbols were burned into each side, somehow not concealing the burning rage from Sun Wukong’s enraged expression.

With that done, Tang grabbed MK’s hand and ran knowing full well both their lives depended on it. “Come on! That won’t distract him for long.”

Or at all. They hadn’t cleared five meters before they started to rocks crumble and mystic bindings viciously snap.

Somehow the two of them were able to reunite with Macaque and Mei in order to get some much-needed distance without any major obstacles. It was silently agreed that the Moneky Tyrant had let them leave. Why? They didn’t want to think about it. All they could do was patch themselves up and think of a new plan.

_____________________________

Pigsy treated them all to a delicious meal, after yelling at the four of them for tangling with the Monkey King. About how they could have gotten killed and berating them for thinking about leaving them behind. Tang was certain Pigsy’s volume was the only reason Macaque looked uncomfortable.

That night they all stayed with Sandy. It was agreed that they should stick together until the heat dies down. Mei stepped out to call her parents to warn them about ... everything. While Macaque had essentially taken over as her father figure it didn’t mean her birth parents were no longer a target. Macaque aided Sandy in setting up the spare rooms. Piggy was just cleaning up dinner and preparing a few things for breakfast.

Leaving Tang to begin creating wards to hang around the boat and MK to uncomfortably sit as he stared at the scholar.

“Why did you do that?”

Tang pushed up his glasses, looking more grave than the teen ever recalled seeing.

“I was preparing that spell the moment I opened my mouth. I figured after that outburst it was only a matter of time before he got bored playing nice and when for the kill. Despite what movies would make you believe, talking is not a free action.” His precious disciples learned that lesson the hard way.

“No. I mean...when you said all that stuff, did you really mean it? You view me as a son?” MK could barely get the last word out. It felt like all of this was just a wonderful dream and when he awoke he’d be back on Flower Fruit Mountain.

Tang set down his brush to fully face the demon. “Of course, I mean it. I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t.” He poured his entire soul into that truth, a fact he was proud to scream to the heavens.

“Even when I look like this?” Sharing the same face of the demon who caused so much pain and suffering. He could barely stand it, but the thought of continuing to live in his human form just felt even more unbearable. He was tired of lies. Tired of being used.

“So you look like a demon monkey, big deal." Tang waved off the concern, regaining his trademark confident sass. "Last I checked, we are close with several demons one of which is a rather famous monkey. At your core, you are still the same MK we grew to know and care about. You may have started out as Wukong’s clone, but you have come a long way since then.”

Seeing that the boy was still unconvinced, Tang wrapped his arms around the child’s shoulders and brought him in for a hug. “You will always have a place with me, with any of us. You are loved and appreciated, Xiǎotiān. Never forget that.” Circles were slowly traced on his back as shaky breathing gradually evened out.

Xiǎotiān nuzzled his father’s neck. Taking in the scent of aged paper, ink, and tea. “Can I sleep with you tonight?”

“Of course.” Gentle fingers slowly combed through his hair.

The world was falling into the depths of madness, but in this moment Xiǎotiān could deceive himself into believing everything would work out.

[tainted-wine]

I hope you don’t mind this being exclusive for the Pro-Heroes!

(NSFW)

Papers? Check. Writing utensils? Check. Lube? Check.

You were primed and ready to begin this cocktastic journey. Completing this project will be a great benefit to Thirstology. You can’t believe that they put their trust in you to collect such valuable information from several willing participants. There’s no way you’re going to let the people at National Thirst Studies down.

With your lower body completely bare, you and your ambitious pussy set out to begin the cockwarming interviews.

Yagi Toshinori/All Might

Pre-Notes: The Symbol of Peace. It’s still surreal to see him in such a fragile state. Strangely enough, I never once asked myself: Does All Might fuck? “Obviously he was too pure for fucking,” is what I would have said before I devoted my life to Thirst Studies. But I have learned over the years that there is no such thing as purity.

------

After he got over the initial shock of you wearing no pants or underwear, you were finally able to begin your study and ask him the main question.

You barely dodged the spray of blood spewing out of his mouth. “Am I into what?” He sputtered.

“Cockwarming, sir. The act of settling a penis in a nice cozy orifice. There’s no movement, only penetration. Surely you already at least knew the definition when you agreed to this?” You offered him a paper towel, which he accepted with a choked “thank you.”

“Midnight told me this would be about intimate relationships,” he anxiously explained while wiping the red off of his lips. “But I wasn’t expecting to hear something that graphic.”

Ah, so he was talked into this. “Well, with your permission, I can give you a personal demonstration.”

His answer was inaudible the first time; you had to ask him to speak up in order to hear his adorably high “yes.” He was a lot shyer than you imagined. Poor guy was shaking like he was on a verge of a heart attack when you took his cock out and boy, did he put the ‘long’ in ‘schlong.’ But your mission wasn’t to admire the dick’s appearance, it was to learn how their owners used them inside a hot snatch. You climbed onto him and lowered yourself and ooooh shit, both of you were moaning as his inches sank into you. You couldn’t take it all, but it was more than enough to get the job done.

“Mmnngh, yes, very long. Pushing almost painfully,” You said through clenched teeth, scribbling in your notepad as you sat semi-comfortably in his lap. “Can you give me your input, Toshinori? How is this feeling for you?”

“Blrraaaffggg.”

“Toshi?”

“…”

He laid limp in the interview chair as crimson liquid continued to flow from his mouth. Well, this is troublesome. You’ll have to wait for him to regain consciousness to hear his feedback.

------

Conclusion: This was his first time experiencing cockwarming. He described it as ‘intense, but not unpleasant’. Unfortunately, whenever I ask for more details, he would get too embarrassed to share anything. Frankly, this isn’t the most fruitful start to my series of interviews, but it was a great privilege to meet the amazing All Might.

Shouta Aizawa/Eraserhead

Pre-Notes: I honestly don’t even know who the hell this is. An underground hero, apparently. You wouldn’t believe me if I told you that he brought a cat with him. I told him that it needs to stay outside during the interview, but the difficult bastard was ready to turn around and leave unless I allowed the furball in. What a hassle. Do I even want to sit on this man?

------

You’re thankful that you did, in fact, sit on this man. His sleek ebony cat was relaxing in your lap while your pink kitty was stuffed with his cock. Despite his indifference to the situation, it was strangely intimate. Taking notes over a cute feline while his length twitched inside you was rather challenging.

“You seem like a rather exhausted fellow. Is it maybe the laid-back nature of the act that you find so alluring?” You asked.

“Mmhmm.” His arms circled around you to stroke his adorable pet.

“Being able to just wind down by giving your hard snake a wet hot crib to rest in?”

“Mmmmm.”

“I would appreciate a more elaborate answer.”

“Mmmmm...”

You shifted just enough to turn your head and see Aizawa’s head lolled back, his breaths getting heavier after each exhale. You can feel him quickly going soft inside you.

Ugh...

------

Conclusion: Given that he fell asleep in the middle of the demonstration, it’s safe to say that he finds the act very relaxing. I can only make guesses because the moment he woke up, he hurried me off his lap, picked up his cat and headed out. I did my best to chase him and ask if I could at least hear his final thoughts, but that bastard leaps on cars and buildings as skillfully as Edgeshot.

Hizashi Yamada/Present Mic

Pre-Notes: I’m not sure what to expect from the Voice Hero. His radio show has hosted some surprisingly insightful interviews. Unlike the last two, he will hopefully have some truly constructive answers to give.

------

“Not gonna lie, I always wanted to try this!”

Both of you were red in the face as you sat on his throbbing cock. Despite the blush and slight shake in his voice, he was as cheerful as ever. “Sometimes I just wonder, it would be pretty cool to just have a hottie warmin’ me up during my show, ya dig? No sex, though. I know I’m not quiet enough to get away with that on the air!” He laughed loudly right into your ear.

Well that kinda hurt, but it’s nice to finally have a fully cooperative interviewee. You were actually able to ask all of your planned questions for once, and Hizashi gave a satisfying answer to each one.

Unfortunately, it just couldn’t go perfectly, and his phone ended up ringing near the end of the interview.

“Hold on, listener. I gotta take this.”

Did he really? You wished he would wait until you were done.

You felt him lean back as you remained on his lap. “Shouta, buddy! What’s goin’ on?”

Shouta? Does he mean...?

“Sorry about that! I’m not home yet, I’m doin’ a...special interview, with a hard-working thirstologist.” You heard the voice on the other end respond, and Hizashi made a noise of confusion. “Eh? What do you mean ‘you too?’”

Oh dear, he does. They actually know each other.

The conversation quickly transformed into an argument, a loud one. The two heroes apparently have some...tension between them.

“Oh, so I throw hints at you for years and you act as innocent as your cats, but you’ll sit down and let a girl hop on your dick during an interview?!”

You had to lift yourself off of his softening member and take shelter from his booming voice. He was tucking himself back into his pants with one hand as he marched out of the room, but his hurt and anger was still loud and clear. “Don’t give me that bull. I bet if I hit you with twenty one questions about cockwarming, you’d just pretend you’re asleep! Oh, you actually did fall asleep? Huh.”

You awkwardly collected your notes as the two gentlemen were seemingly making up.

“Damn right I’ve always felt this way. Oh man, you better get ready tonight because I’ve got over ten years of pent up feelings, and you’re gonna take it all.”

------

Conclusion: It feels good to have a full interview. In summary, Hizashi is intrigued by the combination of closeness and casualness of it all. His interest in cockwarming during his jobs also indicate a possible thrill out of doing it in public. In addition, I’d like to announce with some pride that I may have assisted in taking two friends to the next level of their relationship.

Hawks

Pre-Notes: I’m eager to hear what the handsome winged hero has to say. I wouldn’t mind if we just stare at each other throughout the entire interview. My lust for him is unbearably strong and I’m not sure why. It’s probably just the horny writer’s obvious bias towards this bird. She could use another hobby.

------

Hawks laughed once you gave him the question that officially begins the interview. “Gotta admit, I’ve actually never tried it.”

That’s a surprise that you quickly jot down in your notes. “I see. Is it something you’re interested in trying? I can give you a demonstration right here.”

“Oh? I’d love one.”

You try not to look too excited as you leave your seat and move to undo his pants, but Hawks raises a hand.

“But I want you to do it on your knees.”

Your eyebrows furrowed. “My knees? How do I-”

“With your mouth.”

Oh my.

You granted his request and kneeled down to take his half-hard cock into your mouth.

“Ahhh, that’s nice.” He sighed loudly, spreading his legs more as he stared down at you.

You detached your mouth from him to speak. “Can you tell me what it is that you-mmffrrf.”

A hand pushed you back down onto his man meat. “No no no, just...stay right there. I’ll do the talking in a minute.”

You sat there with his cock growing in the heat of your mouth. Hawks’s eyes were closed, a small content smile on his face. Every time you lifted your head just an inch, the hand on your head pressed you back down. Just when this interview was starting to feel more like a hookup, he finally began to talk.

“Oh yeah, I’ve fantasized stuff like this. You got a shitty boss? I do, don’t tell them I said that, though. They’re always finding something to get on my ass about. Working me like a dog everyday, expecting me to pull off these insane missions flawlessly.”

All you could do was look up and listen to his rant. He must have loved the sight of you, going by the strong twitch of his length in your mouth.

“They just keep asking more and more from me. ‘Do this faster next time, Hawks!’ or ‘I know you’ve never done something like this before, but don’t fail us, Hawks!’ Sometimes I just wanna shove something in their mouths...like my dick. Can you relate?”

You shook your head as well as you could in your current position.

He shrugged. “Oh well. As far as I know, I’ll always be the one getting fucked by them. But something like this...” He pat your head. “Ah yeah, it would be so nice to see them like this...”

------

Conclusion: Hawks was sadly short on time and had to leave before I could even get into the questions. Going by the very personal feelings and frustrations he shared, Hawks enjoys the dominance displayed from cockwarming, and prefers it be done orally. I will respect his wishes and not reveal any of the opinions that he shared about the establishment he works for and its executives.

Taishiro Toyomitsu/Fat Gum

Pre-Notes: It’s best that I continue to be honest: I’m anxious. Fat Gum is one of the biggest heroes around, and I just know that there is a deadly pillar of pussy destruction in those pants. I know that I should be more concerned with the questions, but it just won’t leave my mind.

------

“So, what experience do you have with this, Toyomitsu?”

The large man chuckled. He was currently in his skinny form, which you’re pretty thankful for since his fat form would have been beyond awkward to straddle. That would be like trying to hump one of those giant inflatable characters at parades. “A pretty lady I knew was really into it! I tried it for her sake, but I’ll say this with no ego, my sausage ain’t something to be taken lightly! Still, she was determined, and I was really digging just how strong her will was to take me.”

‘She sounds like a very brave soul,‘ you thought as your pen glided across your paper.

“I couldn’t believe it when she managed to get all of me inside. She couldn’t either, because she passed out! At first I just wanted to laugh it off,” he cackled as if to give an example, but his face quickly drooped into a somber expression. “But then I realized she wasn’t breathing...” His eyes shut in pain and sorrow. “And I couldn’t find a pulse...”

You nearly dropped your pen in horror. “My goodness, Toyomitsu. I’m so sor-”

“I’m just messin’ with ya! She’s fine!” His face immediately brightened up again, leaving you shocked and somewhat upset over the scare. “But seriously, if you want a seat on this big boy, I hope you’ve got plenty of lube on hand.”

“Don’t worry, I do. More than enough for the biggest flesh towers.”

But your doubts instantly returned when the bulging monster was freed from his pants. It’s huge. Toshinori may have been long, but this monster was unbelievable in both length and girth.

Your fear must have been evident on your face, because Toyomitsu asked, “You sure you wanna do this? Don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

You whipped out your bottle of lube and drenched your hands. “Thirstology is my passion. My life’s work. I am more than willing to put my life on the line for science.”

The hero raised an eyebrow. “It’s...not that serious, but I really like your guts, missy.” He gave himself a few strokes. “So let me tear them up.”

Even with the coatings of lube inside your pussy and on his massive cock, this was still the most arduous task you have ever performed in your life. You didn’t know it was possible to be stretched this far. The light blonde was mesmerized by your trembles and scrunched expressions and as you tried to take more of him, his mouth slightly open when he noticed the swell in your lower abdomen.

“Oh, that is hot.”

------

Conclusion: I did it. I took the Fat Gun. Fat Gum himself takes a lot of pleasure in watching the strain of someone trying to take him in, and due to his partner often being much smaller than him, the tightness is very pleasurable to him. He was the only interviewee that actually came during the demonstration, so I suppose it’s safe to say that he is the biggest fan of cockwarming out of the five. He was very panicked when he came inside me, but I reassured him that I am on the pill. This is still a hell of a mess to clean up, however.

(I hope the information I have obtained will be useful for the institute. Thank you for giving me this opportunity)

[lovenona]

and i repeat: anthropo-ceramics geto suguru is the type of toxic where he'd take your virginity, make a sculpture about the experience, then smash it on the ground as a metaphor

this ask is my entire life. this ask is my lifeblood. everyone please saddle up for the ride of a lifetime, otherwise known as 1500ish words of toxic geto featuring sukuna being a good fucking friend – please continue at ur own risk this absolutely contains geto being a pretentious toxic fucker and mentions of virginity/first time but yes i guarantee it does have a happy ending (link to the full college! cinematic universe here) 

let’s begin with the basics – why wouldn’t you fuck geto suguru? he has the type of beauty that lingers on the back of your eyelids even after you’ve long since departed from him; it’s the kind of fragrant, lasting beauty that you think sculptors muse over when they coax life from their marble. he’s smooth, like still water, and calming, like the sound of birds rustling and leaves swaying at dawn. he is helen: a beauty that nations would go to war over. 

and sure, he is pretentious, the kind of toxic pretentiousness that festers inside of all pretty boys who call themselves “leftists” but can’t be bothered to call their mothers or to care about their partners. but it’s the way he speaks, the way he looks at you with such fervor and attention in his eyes that you’re utterly willing to let him break your heart. 

and maybe it’s not often that someone looks at you the way geto does: it’s not often that someone looks at you like they want you, body and soul. and it feels nice to be cared about, to be flirted with, even if the figure doing the flirting condescends you in a way that is different, harsher, colder, than the way ryomen sukuna does. 

so geto suguru takes you on dates. after the avant-garde poetry reading, in which you feigned excitement as he recited a poem on global imperialism that you didn’t quite vibe with, he brings you to local bookstores with overpriced yuppie memoirs, farmers’ markets with organic fruit, human rights protests and philosophy meetings where greasy boys bitterly discuss the communist manifesto. he takes you to dinner, too, to vegan restaurants that you can’t help but rave about on yelp later and to bars where they serve your cocktails in mason jars. 

geto suguru, for all his faults, is incredibly lighthearted with you; he makes you feel beautiful and desirable and warm, even when he’s explaining anthropology to you with such intense vigor that you lose track of his meaning. after everything, you’d be lying if you said you regretted your time with him.

after awhile you let geto fuck you – and yes, he was your first time, which you were naturally quite nervous about. but you appreciated him because he waited for you; he never pressured you into behaviors you didn’t want; he never asked you for services you weren’t ready to provide. and so when you slept with him, after an invigorating open-mic night at the fair-trade coffee shop near campus, you felt ready for the intimacy. geto made you feel attractive, comfortable, safe. he praised you the whole night, gave you caresses that lit you up like fireworks, provided such a level of god-tier aftercare you still reminisce about it, even now. 

but that’s the thing about anthropology-ceramics major geto suguru: he’s quietly toxic. he’s a poison that sneaks up on you, infecting your bloodstream when you least expect it. 

you weren’t sure if geto wanted to pursue a relationship, either. you’d fucked, sure, and you went on dates, but he was always the type to avoid long-term commitments. rumors float around campus of the many partners he’s ghosted, of the relationships he exploited for his own “artistic musings.” they aren’t loud rumors, to be sure, but they hang around his aura like a strange, ghostly scent. 

geto is a pretentious little fuck. you’ve known it and agreed to enter his circle anyway. maybe you hoped, perhaps naively, that the rumors would simply not apply to you.

which was a stupid idea. three weeks after the experience, since which you have only spent one-on-one time with geto only a few times, mostly to talk about school, the art department hosts an art show. it’s a regular occurrence, where the art students show off their best works, grad students display their in-progress theses, and outsiders can browse the displays, drink wine, offer to give outstanding students jobs and internships. it’s truly a big fucking deal for the art department; many of the school’s the most successful artists received their first acclaim here. 

you’ve always enjoyed attending, even if the level of talent and expertise sometimes intimidates you, even if you know you’ll never be on this level. you know sukuna’s got a few paintings lined up to be on display – paintings you’ve modeled for, drawings you’ve watched him labor over for hours on end. you reckon that for all your begrudging time together, you might as well show your face in support. 

but what you didn’t count on was geto’s contribution.

at this art show, there are, every now and then, some interactive performances, speeches, explanations on certain works. so it happens that from the back of the auditorium you watch geto take the stage, wheeling a small, white sculpture behind him. from your perspective it could have been a flower – perhaps a lily, but you can’t be certain. 

(geto always did like sculpting precious, dainty flowers.)

he doesn’t call you by name, but he doesn’t have to. he talks at great length in that smooth voice of his about the construct of virginity, the purity culture plaguing the globe, the emotional sensitivity of having your first time. geto seguru tells an avid audience what you felt about fucking for the first time. he recreates the entire night for two hundred listeners: he recalls the foreplay, the insecurity, the orgasms. he doesn’t call you by name. he doesn’t have to. 

he may have asked for your consent the first time. but he certainly did not ask your permission to do this. 

you’re not sure if you should laugh or cry when geto dramatically smashes his own sculpture, citing the “destruction of virginity” and  the need “to demolish a social desire to classify one’s morality based upon their sexual activity” and “the symbolic popping of the cherry” among other phrases that are utter bullshit. you’re watching the fragments dance across the stage and you feel exploited. you feel used in a way that feels utterly worse than anything else geto could have done.

did he ever like you? or were you simply a muse for this moment? 

you’re about to ditch the art show and go wallow in self pity at your apartment when a familiar presence slides in beside you.

“that’s kinda fucked,” sukuna says, hands in his jacket pockets. he’s looking at you out of the corner of his eye. his tone tells you he’s joking. maybe he just doesn’t know. “no one gives a shit about virginity constructs anymore, idiot.” 

“yeah,” you respond, but the energy is gone. you feel strange, like you’re hovering outside of yourself. your head hurts: you’re angry. you decide you’d like to cry when you get home. “what a piece of shit.” it comes out strangled and lost. 

sukuna notices the dejection in your voice, the sag in your shoulders, the way you’re just barely able to hold yourself together. he may be arrogant, not ryomen sukuna is not mean.

a familiar arm around your shoulders, keeping your sanity together. “shit’s lame. let’s get the fuck out of here.” it’s a phrase that captures everything that remains unsaid between you: i’m going to beat the shit out of geto the next time i see him. that’s absolutely unbelievable.

you never explicitly told sukuna about your weird relationship with geto: you didn’t have to. it was always evident to the both of you. it was written in the way you’d look a little bit longer in geto’s direction, in the way you let yourself be strung along and become someone else. you’ve hung around sukuna long enough that you know his body language and that he knows yours. you’ve hung around sukuna enough that there are a lifetime of stories that never need to be told. 

you nod. “yeah.” thank you. i know. 

you’re both uncharacteristically silent when you exit the auditorium, when you collect sukuna’s belongings that are still lounging by his artwork as you prepare to leave. ryomen sukuna is famous for never shutting the fuck up. but as you button your coat, he’s silent, and it’s strange. comfortable.

“thank you,” you say with uncharacteristic softness as he throws a sketchbook back into his backpack and zips it shut. 

“why?”

“for asking my permission,” you say, gesturing to the gallery wall behind him, to the painting of you – “eros” – that you had posed for awhile back. even now, you find that it captures an essence you did not know you possessed. “he didn’t. ask, i mean.” 

ryomen sukuna has always craved your attention. and maybe he’s glad he’s got it back – but it feels sour. he doesn’t understand why he’s so fucking upset for you. he doesn’t understand why he wants so badly for you to be happy again. what he does understand is that he plans for retribution. 

“that’s fucked,” he settles on. “what bastard doesn’t ask for consent?”

you smile – and he does too, one that’s less feral and almost kind. and so you fall back into routine, already, some kind of weight lifting from your shoulders. ryomen sukuna may be a menace, but you can rely on him, trust him: that much you know. 

“you know,” sukuna says offhandedly as you exit the building and enter the parking lot. “i know where geto’s car is, i’m just saying. and i’d be lying if i said i didn’t have an extra precision knife in my backpack right now.”  

[daring-elm]

laoft but in central germany

ok ok ok i'm very glad to see that this is a Thing now because the town i live in is basically wickhills two (with less supernatural threats of course lol)—general unreality/unsettling content warning for all this, otherwise enjoy

(my town is medium-sized, has a castle, a university, some old architecture and a general fairy tale theme, which includes murals/statues of different fairy tale characters or symbols, such as cinderella's shoe, scattered throughout the older part of town. it's entirely surrounded by forest, and a river separates the old and new town)

strange things await you in the woods. don't step into the mushroom circles, don't climb the ancient staircases that seem to go nowhere. you won't be the same when you return.

at day, you're welcome to visit the castle—its old stones have plenty of stories to tell. once the sun sets, go back into town where it is safe; don't trust the man with the strange eyes who offers to lead the way off the palace grounds. the catacombs are dark and span further than you can believe.

if you are kind, and if you are witty, you may walk along the forest paths—the smaller spirits will play tricks on you, but good nature and a sense of humor will win them over. they're curious about the human world and the things it has to offer and the ruler of the woods will keep watch over them. don't leave the path.

the seelie leave their court easily; the unseelie do not. winter may be longer than you expect, but the following spring is all the more beautiful.

deer aren't as large as you think and the larger things are not deer

the closer you live to the woods, the more likely it is you'll hear music come full moon. if you are lucky, you can ignore it. if you aren't, bring a gift. it's rude to decline an invitation.

they delight in fairy tales. they know them all, how could they not, but storytellers are their favorite. if you recite a tale in front of its symbol, they will reward you. (make sure it's the version they like best.)

the streets of the old town are narrow and winding and never quite the same. they wait in the corners, in bakeries and trinket shops that have been there for longer than anyone can remember. the salesperson hasn't aged a day in the last eighty years.

the good neighbors are just that—they live around us, in the cornerhouses and top floor apartments, behind unseen doors and in abandoned cellars. be a thoughtful neighbor and remember, if worse comes to worst, they cannot cross the river.

you offer an old lady a seat and never miss a bus again. cars never seem to splash you, no matter how big the puddle they drive through seems. the traffic lights are always green just as you reach them. until the favor is repaid, the world seems to revolve around you.

they speak in verse, in dialects long forgotten by everyone but the old men who go out for coffee at the same café every tuesday afternoon. sometimes one will join them for a chat and some sweets (it is said that they appreciate the baker's crown cake).

She watches over the forest. no one quite knows who She is (the witch living at the foot of the tower has suspicions, but he doesn't voice them and no one dares to ask the fair folk)—it's unsettling, to sense Her presence, but there is a deep comfort in hearing Her hum, breathe in and out with the sun, like being rocked to sleep.

don't sleep in the woods.

the spiders are skittish. the spiders have always been skittish. if you help them, set them back outside without harming them, they might put in a good word for you.

it's not uncommon to find them at the university (they prefer the old buildings), listening in on lectures, occasionally joining classes. do not be afraid; they are here to learn just as much as you are

you can win them over with wordplay (the concept of Teekesselchen, literally "little tea pots", has delighted many good neighbors—not so much due to the surprise of Hahn meaning both rooster and faucet, but the joy that humans pass their time with such riddles)

idioms, on the other hand, are frustrating—if you know someone well and they're in a good mood, it can be great fun to explain why understanding train station means to be confused, but their inability to replicate the phrases has turned some moods sour.

sweet woodruff, Waldmeister, pleases the lord of the forest, but be careful when drinking its syrup—we cannot take as much as they can

take my grandmother's recipe; bring them a gift (remember to leave out the cherries) and a message from me, and explore the woods with caution

as long as you return by sundown, as long as you do nothing to offend them, you will be safe

@tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors

[sun-to-my-luna]

-𝓛𝓲𝓪𝓻 -  

Her fiance at the beginning begins to explain how he can’t believe he found his missing piece. That person that has “a one of a kind beauty with a glow that makes the moon look like a sad chipped tooth”

Followed afterwards  her fiance in this scene is going to give Camila  a necklace because they’re apparently (based on context clues) celebrating their recent “engagement.” 

This is where the symbolism begins.  As he cheekily describes the type of person he found himself with Camila takes a huge gulp of wine.  A sign that shows she’s uncomfortable with what he’s saying or feeling guilty about something.

The bus boy “accidentally” spills a drink onto Camila’s fiance and gets his expensive suit dirty. The fiance begins to yell at the bus boy. Camila becomes fascinated putting all her attention onto the bus boy.

A.

She falls in love with the bus boy at first sight and  then he leaves a note on the table for Camila.

Since the “Liar” cover art  has to do with cupid. The heart that forms after the buss boy cleans the drink he spilled on the table represents “falling in love at first sight.” In other words the drink that the bus boy spilled was cupid’s arrow. 

 B.

The buss boy already knew Camila. He spilled the drink on purpose because he knew that she was  in love with  him and not Reese. He knew she was making a mistake. Therefore was trying to prevent her from marrying a guy she’s not interested in.

In this situation Camila is shocked and nervous because of her fiance’s reaction  but she was smiling at the buss boy while he was yelling. That meant that  she liked what he did for her.   

“Oh no, there you go, you're making me a liar I kinda like it though.”

After meeting with the buss boy she can’t say that she “loves”  the necklace her fiance gave her. Why? because that would be lying. She’s chocking because her  body is literally preventing her from spilling out lies, and wants to speak out the truth. 

“Oh no, there you go, you're making me a liar Got me begging you for more.”

Then she wakes up in her mansion next to her fiance to find the television turned on.

Parodying what ALL tabloids do every time celebrities are rumored to be together.  In a sense think of her fiance as a “PR” partnership.  Her character is in love with someone else and she’s not with Reese Witherspoon because she loves him.  She looks at the note that the buss boy left behind because she can’t stop thinking about them. The other thing that’s important to pay attention to is the fact that she’s “living” inside a mansion.

 So, she wakes up and she remembers that the buss boy gave her a note at the table while he spilled the drink. At this point I’m going to assume that the buss boy had already known Camila before she got with Reese because she sneaks out of the room as if she was keeping a secret away from him.

We further on can see her actually running away from Reese in circles around the house, looking at the note, but pushing it away. Proving that she is keeping a secret from him. The secret being her relationship with the buss boy that she’s having behind his back in secrecy. This next scene is extremely important, and brings me back to why I said her living in a mansion is something you should pay attention to.

Camila is caught cleaning the mansion, she lives in, herself with her normal regular comfortable sleeping gown instead of the cleaning staff. If this was a normal everyday situation there wouldn’t have been a reason for her to be shocked if he caught her cleaning.  However at this point I gathered one of two things.

A.

Wealth, Money and Fame.

Reese Witherspoon symbolizes wealth, money and fame itself. He bought her all those materialistic items. He has all these maids, cooking staff, and butlers. He has this big ass mansion and he expects her to dress the part and act accordingly so to her new rich lifestyle. That’s why he bought her what to wear and the necklace at the beginning of the music video. Going back to the reporters in the music video. At the beginning when he was describing her I felt like in itself was mimicking or mocking fake love and affection because what he said was cheesy and she wasn’t interested in it.   (Kind of like her posts about Shawn, and Matthew.)

B. 

She doesn’t care about money, wealth, or fame.

That fact that in this scene she just smiles and looks at him and feels comfortable wearing what she’s got on while she’s cleaning shows that she just wants to be herself. She doesn’t want to wear what he buys her to show off. She just wants to be herself.  Therefore in that moment at the start of the MV when he asked her what she thought.. she was making a decision between Real Love or Wealth, Money, and Fame.

Then we get a flashback to where we started except this time she comes to a realization. She tries to change the outcome but  it’s the same. The heart on the table still appears and the buss boy is still there. “I said I won’t get too close but I can’t stop it.” She starts to crack and let’s out a bit of the truth and as she does she feels relief. Things start to get better. The truth starts to spread, and people bring out their real colors.

Reese gets confused about her rejection, but  Buss Boy has hearts in his eyes meaning that he appreciates her courage to be honest.

BUT then she gets crushed by an elephant. She didn’t say the full honest truth and this is an idiom for “there’s still an elephant in the room.” 

She once again wakes up except this time it’s not just with a note. She wakes up with both men in her bed. The buss boy she’s actually in love with never leaves her mind and wakes up with her while Reese ( her wealth, money and fame) lays next to her fast asleep. The more people talk about them the more anxiety Camila seems to have every time she sees the news reports.

She gets terrified of the fact that Reese could wake up and see him being with her in the same bed and starts running away from her thoughts and problems again. With the note in her hand.  This could very well be interpreted in many ways.

Considering that Reese represents fame she’s scared that her real relationship that’s a secret will be discovered so she runs away from it but she can’t stop thinking about them. That’s why she’s continuously running around in circles in Reese’s mansion. 

“But what if he kissed and what if I like it?”

Changes the lyrics to “she” in this part and the meaning changes, but in the music video it stays the same because the Buss Boy is her secret relationship.  I know a lot of people before me already pointed out that Flamingos = Gay... so I’m going to point you in a different direction. She is among a flock of  Flamingos, and they are believed to be a powerful spirit animal.

  Reference: “Spiritually, if this spirit animal comes up– you need to listen to your heart and follow what it says in all that you do. This is because it will assist you in choosing the true path of life. In case, you consider this bird to be your spirit animal, then you should let out your emotions. It is necessary to vent out your feelings & expressions to the entire world without any modifications. You should also allow these feelings to help you lead to your life path. Listening to your heart will allow you to derive proper solutions to overcome all problems in life. If you find it tough to come up with a decision, then you should allow your heart to take over. This spirit animal teaches you to follow sincerely your heart to enable you to derive the best results.”

Again, she’s looking at the note, trying to follow her heart and making a choice between Real Love and Wealth. (Which follows the same pattern in Shameless, and another song.)

He comes out showing off his butlers and staff and again the stupid thing he bought her to wear. Then we go once again back to the start of mv where she’s thinking about things and coming into realizations.  She spews out even more truth, but doesn’t get hit by the elephant again. However she does get hit by people riding their bikes.

It seems like no matter how hard she tries or wants to say the truth she can’t. That’s why she’s getting attacked by elephants and drones, and people because when she does they stop her from continuing to live by the truth. The more she resists saying the truth though  the more the truth haunts her.

It’s interesting to me that this scene is included with the whole, “trouble in paradise.” The whole world is watching her fake relationship crumble because she doesn’t want to be in it anymore and she just wants to choose who she really loves.  I think that this song is ultimately aimed at Roger or her team who make her seem like she’s a “Liar.”

We have her here once again laying next to Reese (wealth), but she’s surrounded by thoughts of the person she really loves so she’s trying to burn the love she has for the other person she shouldn’t love. 

While in that process she actually ends up burning herself, and running away from the situation.  The “Truth Police” actually end up catching her and want to know why she did what she did.  The truth police mention in my opinion could be someone that intervenes with her life. Someone close to her.

Anyways, Wealth and Fame starts investigating  and questioning her. She starts getting really nervous that they’re going to find out the truth as to why she went insane and burned down the mansion. Even though they probably already know as she looks over at the Buss Boy who is pretending to read the note he obviously didn’t give to her himself.

She won’t tell them  the truth so she starts screaming at the Buss Boy, and blames him for giving her the feelings that she’s feeling, but the Buss Boy stands his ground and acts as if saying, “is that so?” 

Reese is surprised and presumably seems as if he’s asking what’s going on. The Buss Boy and Camila are arguing back and forth, but they start dancing and get really close.

At that point the truth was discovered and Reese was devastated and angry. The lie detector showed that she really loves the Buss Boy, “her real love” and not Reese. The person she was pretending to be in a relationship with. The person that bought her fame and wealthy things.

In the end she wakes up in her normal house, with her normal clothes, and inside her normal bed. Without pretending to be someone else or in love with somebody that she’s not in love with. She loves Disney, and the bird to me says that’s her real fairy tale ending.

In the end she chose her real love over everything and will always choose love over everything.  But also remember how I kept saying she can’t stop thinking about the person she really loves?  That’s what the note is about. She only thinks about the person she actually is in love with. Not the person she shows she’s with.

“All I do the whole day through is dream of you.”

[kingandfireheart]

The symbolism of the dresser

@nat.curupana on instagram

The dresser is mentioned in literally every ACOTAR book, so I am convinced it has to have larger symbolism beyond “Feyre was always meant for Rhys.” I have tried to read into that symbolism for each sister - and it's not my best work, so I would love to hear people's thoughts and feedback.

Feyre - Night Sky.

Feyre is cautious and in her head about their relationship. But once she’s there, once she decides, she fights for him, for them. Their love is long and enduring (like night?). And the main catchphrases for them is Night Triumphant and Stars Eternal and To all the stars that listen, and the dreams that are answered. In the darkness, you see the light and appreciate the stars, you can have the quiet you need to heal. Feyre and Rhys are dreamers - they want a better world, a better life for themselves. These are two characters who are extremely traumatized and their story is about finding the light in a time of darkness. They are both fighters who do what needs to be done - even if that means giving themselves up in the process

Nesta - Flames.

So the flames were originally meant for Lucien, but I think the flames still work for Nessian. Nesta and Cassian are fire and passion and intensity. Both characters are compared to fire throughout the book - their tempers, their scents, all of it. Nesta’s power is silver flames, and her struggles with fires show her growth in ACOSF. Nesta’s rage is Ice. Cassian’s rage is fire. They can be forged and welded, and refined into weapons, but they are also their greatest defense mechanisms. Cassian does not fear Nesta and her power as Lady Death, and Nesta does not fear Cassian - in fact she marvels at him, her warrior prince, a conquering war-god (literal quotes from the first sex scene). Nesta and Cassian’s power is their passion - the fact that they are extremely defensive of one another, and they don’t back down from fights. They can be extremely calculating, they notice things others may miss, and they are both warriors in their own rights.

Elain - Flowers.

Elain is depicted as a gentle-grower of things. She loves flowers and cooking. She loves cultivating something beautiful, even when it is the result of hard work. She watches her sisters and observes - and sees who they are and what they are going through. She plays a mediator for her sisters. She is also a seer - so she does have some untapped strength. Elain’s true power is her patience and her ability to see the good - she may never be a warrior, but she will wield her own tools to her advantage. She isn’t afraid to fight for what she wants, even if the process is ugly. Her romance story will play off of her perceptiveness, and patience will play a massive role in her story, whether that is accepting the mating bond with Lucien, or choosing Azriel.

The Azriel Argument: Azriel is a patient male, but has an icy rage that even Rhys can’t seem to access. I personally love the imagery of the frost melting for flowers to grow. He waited for 500+ years for Mor, and he says himself that waiting for the right moment suits him. He is the only one to see Elain when she first comes out of the Cauldron - He wishes to protect her, but I don't think he reduces her to the sweet and innocent Elain persona, just as I don't Elain reduces him to his shadows and scars. I think a big argument could be made here for Elain seeing the darkness in Azriel and his story, and choosing to see the good in him, choosing to cultivate something strong there. There's a lot of potential for night-blooming flower imagery here, and of course her affinity for roses (the damn necklace!) and Rosehall. If SJM decides to make Elain a spy, I think she could embrace the shadows. We already know that Elain doesn’t balk from Nesta, whose power is Death, so I don’t think it would be too much of a stretch to extend that to Azriel. Azriel and Elain are also the most beautiful characters, and Mama Archeron did say Elain would marry for love and beauty.

The Lucien Argument: This could be the slowest burn of the series - and of anything SJM has written. Lucien has so much trauma and unresolved conflict in his life. From ACOTAR, we see that Lucien is actually quite funny, charming, and clever. He is also loyal to a fault, but he is strong and perceptive. He has training, he has seen all 7 courts, and he is able to move between different roles relatively easily. Like Elain, he has experience being the calm one and the mediator when things get heated. He can be sunlight itself - you know what flowers need to grow? Sunlight! I also think Lucien and Elain could be the books coming full circle with something like, "I love you, thornes and all"

I struggle with this because the flames were originally meant to symbolize Lucien (if you have thoughts LMK!).

[the-fandom-is-now-my-life]

Hc inverse au! Fem Reader in Victorian era England and ynm characters are in our time.

You are a character in an anime and ynm are in real life

Williams

( he seems like the type to be into really dense, historical mangas)

He first read a manga featuring you when one of his students left their copy on their desk and he had to overview some students while they were using the presentation room.

He mostly just sat in the first row while the group of teens were recording hamlet for the theater class.

He didn't really took the story seriously so he started reading a lady who was trying to seduce a noble for a few pages, he was about to leave the manga given that he supposed it was a hentai but when you poisoned them with the wine cup he found it interesting

The main character had a set of very strong ideals that weren't so common in the historical context, be it strip nobles and royals from benefits, be a suffragette, or something similar .He ate the manga in five minutes

When he returns home (and leaves the item in lost objects, ofc) he checks online to buy the first volume to see if the background and sort are interesting along with every other volume and official light novel and Novella . He usually isn't home from very early to very late at night so it would be Louis most likely the one who receives the box with the books

"Brother, did you buy a box full of comics" Louis asks from the kitchen after he feels his older brother returning home

" oh? They already arrived? I thought they would be here next week" well Louis always was worries about how his brother didn't have any hobbies aside from teaching at the University so he was happy that he found something else to do with his life

He would ask for a sick day on a Monday or Friday so he could plan everything that was needed at his class that day and spend the weekend lazing around and reading the various volumes and the light novels. That day Louis and albert almost cried of happiness, that was the first time he took a sick day in all of his teaching years to take a break

The type of fan who creates theories that everything is symbolism, how they are ambidextrous to show that even if they intend good sometimes their methods are too extreme or how their hat was placed or the color of their clothes show their political affiliation. Nothing can be just a coincidence with him, everything means something

Is a big pain in the ass about historical inaccuracies, be it dress, manners or social hierarchy being off

" But listen this is the late Victorian era, where is their crinoline??/ They are supposed to be a Victorian dandy and the writer wants me to believe they would wear that? In that society?" williams turned on the lights to his younger brother room while walking in circles as if he was trying to calm down

" Williams it's 3 am. Please I want to sleep"

" Oh and don't let me get started when they crossdressed/dressed as lady northinburg, that tight lacing scene made me so angry" he was dragging his words, Louis guessed he was sleep drunk " how much I hate that, karolina or bernadette would kill those producers if they saw it" Louis simply opted to sleep while his brother was ranting about how the hairstyles were al wrong

When speaking of merchandising he appreciates his mature and elegant reputation so he would buy small things like cute stationery and notebooks and a few pens. Most of them either are about the main character, you, or have the anime title or something similar

A few students think that the professor brings some childish pens in case some student forgets one and he doesn't have to give them his mechanical pencil. He actually uses those pens when he is grading the exams. His notebook annotations look a lot cleaner and are more colorfully bc of the markers and pens

When and if your manga gets and anime he would be 100 percent bitching about how they skipped, if you are a minor character, scenes where you are introduced or you character gets development.

" Oh my goodness, they skipped to this ark? And 'the mask'? In that ark we get the development of many characters, yn, edward, Amélie, Alex. We are absolutely robed of their backgrounds and aspirations and how they are all connected"

" Brother be honest with yourself, you only wanted more animated yn, you follow their voice actor on twitter"

" That is not my point!"

Albert

he was watching it when he came late

Albert usually keeps company to his youngest brother until around 5-6 pm, then he leaves for work and returns around 12 am and eats dinner alone mostly.

When he returns from his job the house is more often than not totally dark so he makes his way to the kitchen and microwaves the leftovers and eats silently.

But one day it seems like Louis or williams forgot to turn off the TV before going to bed, he was about to turn it off but decided that watching something with the tv muted wouldn't wake his brothers up and kept watching.

He didn't pay much attention to it at the start but it became routine, he comes home, heats the food, sits down and watches that show so he grew quite fond of it

How much attention he pays to it depends on the type of plot it has, if it is light-hearted humor he would most likely not pay much attention but laugh when a joke came, one the other hand, if it's a more serious he would find it hard to take his eyes away from the screen

Second least likely to buy merchandising, if he buys it's mostly to wear home, a one size too big shirt for a pj (mostly for the comedy anime) or, if they aren't childish and look professional maybe a pocket watch like the one x character uses ( in the more serious one)

Won't buy the mangas if there are any because he is happy watching the animated version and already has to read a lot at work, but if he is gifted the volumes he will read them sparingly, maybe he will finish one volume every week and a half, unlike williams.

Louis

He spends most of his time home because of his illness and doesn't like to stress too much given that it makes the symptoms worse, he enjoys light hearted comedies or cooking in the victorian era or those typical time travelers who now have to live in different situations than those they are used to

He most likely found it after doing all the housework and being bored so he opted to browse the TV or netflix and fell on one specific serie

If it is a comedy he will listen to it while cleaning or cooking, he feels like he does everything faster and the housework is more enjoyable that way.

If it's a cooking related program he will watch as entertainment after doing everything and to get ideas what to cook, he is always surprised with the recipes that your character comes up with, be them savory ( things he will absolutely do the next day for lunch or dinner) or sweet ( things he will make more sparingly given he can't have too much sugar). I think of mangas and series like the duchess' 50 te recipes or shokugeki no soma

If it the third option he was interested on the alternatives to modern things, like how to make a more natural soap with animal fat and wood ash, or how to use certain plants to help a headache or stomach bug.

With merchandising he doesn't buy much, some kitchenware and some bowls mugs and maybe a tea set that isn't much of an eyesore. Overall he isn't all that crazy over that kind of things if there is a cooking book he will definitely buy it

He, like albert, doesn't care much about historical accuracy and if the events that happen are cohesive, he is there to have fun

Fred

He watched it because he heard his classmates talk about it and wanted to join them but was too scared to bother them if he didn't know anything. Baby has the social abilities of an anxious lobster

He comes home from college and looks the anime up in his phone and, like every broke college student, he watches it from an illegal streaming service.

He gets hooked up and stays all night watching it until his clock snaps him out of his trance and makes him drag his feet to his 7:30 am class

Fred tries and fails to talk to the group so, after the lesson, he drags himself to his room to be miserable alone. It's not until he reaches a certain chapter or episode where you say something that make him think, " if you wish to be loved you must face first your fear to be known" he keeps thinking about it, he didn't truly ever talk to the group, he cowarded before even trying.

The next week at that same lecture he approaches the group and tries to make some small talk

" Oh hey uhm i heard the past class that you liked (maga name)" he was this close to running to his desk and act as if nothing happened

" Yeah! You like it too?" The boy seemed to notice fred was nervous

" Yes! I really like it, what is you favorite character? Mine is yn" he certainly didn't have any favorite one before but after this he thinks your character is pretty good " they are really inspiring"

In terms of merch he is broke so there is none, If he had any money to spare he would buy notebooks and even those chibi statues or funko pops

[cora-vizsla]

Cabur Chapter 5

Rating: Explicit (18+)

Word Count: 7.5K

Warnings: Mentions of death (nothing explicit or described), violence, shooting, punching, sadness, angst, I'm so sorry I wrote this in a mood, talking about loss of parents, implied panic attack (character doesn’t know what it is), fluff, love

A/N: This part is pretty sad. If you have an issue with death (nothing is talked about in great detail at ALL but it does mention it, please just shoot me a message or ask for a synopsis so you can skip the chapter. Reader has some issues with panic but is helped through it. Also, I know I usually put the translations at the bottom but this chapter is heavy with Mando’a so I put the translations right after the conversation so you aren’t flipping back and forth trying to figure out what it meant. If I missed tags or you think something should be added PLEASE let me know! Much love to all of you!!

It was easy being with Paz. Once the helmet issue was out of the way there wasn’t much to fight about. Months went by in a comfortable routine of helping the village while getting to know each other better. You both were happy.

Your favorite part was being able to walk around again without the helmet. It wasn’t just you without the helmet though. Looking at Paz always put a smile on your face. You had heard of Mandalorians being smitten once they saw each other’s faces and you’d always wondered if it was due to the already established relationship. You knew without a doubt that Paz was the most handsome man you had ever laid eyes on. It should have been illegal to make him cover his face.

The village had noticed that you now wore the same symbol that Paz wore on his armor. You had explained that you were now part of his clan. They had wanted to throw a huge celebration but the elder explained to everyone else that your vows were simple as was the life you lived. They had all brought you different meals for two weeks after the announcement, but you didn’t have the heart to turn them away. They just wanted to show how much they appreciated and celebrated your happiness.

The communication with the Armorer had been much easier. She was pleased that you agreed to marrying Paz and was planning new armor for you. You let her know that anything that would be replaced would be donated back to the tribe for foundlings. She wasn’t surprised at all but thanked you all the same. It still wasn’t safe for either of you to go to her, but the time was nearing.

The idea of leaving was hard. The village had been your home. It didn’t help that you were getting increasingly close to Lahta. She had been confused at first by Paz being around all the time but eventually she loved him just as much. She loved riding on his shoulders and being taller than everyone in the village. You loved hearing him laughing fully right along with her. You hadn’t been lying when you said you wanted a family. You just knew Paz was going to be a great biur.

“What color do you want your new armor to be?”

You were sitting on the porch between Paz’s legs. He had his arms wrapped around you so you could lean back against him. He often kissed you on the top of your head and your temple whenever you were close enough. It was one of the sweetest things he did, and you were sure he did it without even thinking.

“Hmm. I was thinking pure silver like Din. That was we can match.”

You smirked back at him when he growled and tightened his arms.

“I think you would look beautiful in blue.”

“You think I look beautiful in anything.”

“Not true. I think you’re also beautiful in absolutely nothing.”

“You are insatiable.”

“Then stop being so alluring, cyare.”

You laughed and nuzzled yourself into his neck.

“I don’t think we should take Lahta.”

Paz sighed and turned you so he could actually look at you. It had been a conversation you both skated by more times than not. You both loved her.

“Why?”

“The village is safe. It’s been really quiet lately. There isn’t even a safe place for the tribe to settle. When it’s time for us to leave here, we would be taking her from safety to that. I don’t think that it’s fair to her. If she were older, I’d give her the decision but she’s still so young.”

“She’s going to be sad when we do leave.”

“I know. I will be too. I just think that as long as this is a safe place it’s the best option for her.”

“I can’t argue that. We should be hearing from the Armorer any day.”

It was your turn to sigh. He held you tighter and you nestled back into him.

“I’ll miss our cabin.”

“As will I, cyare. Gar cuyir ner yaim.” (You are my home.)

“I know, Paz. We are one.”

He nodded and kissed you deeply. You moved forward to straddle him, wrapping yourself around him. Both of you jumped when a deafening boom came from the distance.

“The village.”

You both scrambled to your feet and pulled your helmets on, running towards the village as more explosions rang out. You could hear his footsteps behind you, almost as loud as your heart pounding in your ears. You were quicker than him, but he wasn’t slow by any means. You were just quicker at navigating around trees and brush.

When you burst through the clearing you skid to a stop, pulling your blaster. You heard Paz do the same thing as he came up on you. Your chest was heaving as you looked around.

There wasn’t a village left in front of you.

You started running towards where the elders and the school used to be. The kids should have been in school, but you couldn’t see any standing buildings. Panic was rising up in your throat until you saw three men laughing and running away. You quickly shot two of them, dropping them with one shot each. The third you shot in the leg and walked over to him. You stepped on his chest and pointed the blaster at his face.

“What did you do!?”

He laughed again and winced when you ground your boot into him.

“Boss said you’d be here. Shouldn’t have stopped him from raiding it before. Now there’s nothing left. Some protector you are.”

He cackled again and you dropped, your knee slamming into his chest.

“Who the fuck is your boss?”

“Figure it out yourself, bitch.”

You climbed on top of him and punched him square across the face.

“Tell me!”

“What does it matter? They’re all dead. We took them all out first. The explosion was just to get your attention. You failed them, Mandalorian.”

You screamed out in anger and hit him again. And again. You lost count of how many times you pounded your fist into his face as tears started streaming down your face. You felt a hand grab the back of your armor as you were lifted off the now unconscious man. Or maybe he was dead. You hardly cared at that point.

“Cayre. Stop. You got him.”

“No. He needs to feel the pain. He needs to know.”

“He does.”

Paz tried to pull you into his arms, but you ripped away, running over to where the school was. Your sobs were unfiltered as you tried to search for someone; anyone. You heard Paz calling your name, but you kept ignoring him, full panic starting to set into your bones. You turned in a circle looking at the entire carnage but of all the horrible things you saw, you didn’t see the children.

“Paz, where are they? The kids? I-I don’t see the kids.”

He looked around and stiffened.

“Did they take them?”

You switched your vision over to tracking and only saw the three sets of footprints from the men you had stopped.

“No. No they didn’t go with them.”

You turned towards the woods behind the school and saw a mess of footprints. You took off in the direction with Paz on your heels. You ran for at least ten minutes until you saw a cabin. You put your blaster away and heard Paz protest, but you walked directly to the door, listening intently. You could hear the children crying and murmuring to each other and it shattered your heart.

“Ad’ika, are you in there? Lahta?”

“Cabur!”

The door burst open and you barely had enough time to catch Lahta when she flung herself at you. You clung her to your chest, keeping one hand on the back of her head. She sobbed into you as you dropped to your knees.

“Cabur, oh Cabur I was so sc-scared! I th-thought they g-got y-you too!”

“No, ad’ika. No, I’m here.”

Paz glanced at you but walked past and into the doorway, dropping to a knee to get himself closer to the kids. They all came out of their hiding with tear-stained faces.

“Verd, we saw them come. The adults told us to run. We came here s-so they wouldn’t find us.”

One of the older children had stepped forward, holding the hands of some of the smallest around him. Paz put his hand on the side of his neck and pressed his helmet to his forehead gently.

“You did good. You did very good.”

“Is the.. it’s all gone isn’t it. We.. we heard the explosions.”

“Where are the other children?”

“Their parents took them and ran.”

You looked up and saw that there were only eight kids. You sighed hoping that the rest had gotten away unscathed. Lahta tightened herself around you and you spoke to her softly letting her know that you wouldn’t let her go. She whimpered into you in response.

“Verd, what do we do now? We’re all alone.”

“You come with us.”

“You’d take us?”

You looked up, speaking partially to the children with Paz and partially to Lahta.

“Yes. You are all coming with us. We will keep you safe.”

Paz stood and turned to you.

“I’ll go get the ship and get ahold of the Armorer. It’s going to be a tight fit, but we will make it work.”

You stood as he got closer, still clinging Lahta to your chest.

“Do you think we could get them around the village and to the cabin? It would be closer, and we wouldn’t need to be split up as far. If either one of us are alone and they come back..”

He nodded and gently put his hand on Lahta’s back.

“Alright kiddos. We’re going to go for a walk. How does that sound?”

None of them sounded happy, not that you thought they should, but they all perked up at the idea of leaving with you. You tried to shift Lahta to the side, but she clung tighter. You had Paz put one of the kids on your back and he put two on his own. The five left were more than able to walk the distance even if it was slower than you were used to.

You just hoped the Armorer was set up so there was somewhere you could bring them to.

---

You settled the kids in the cabin quicker than expected. Between the beds and the couch, all the kids were comfortable and sleeping off their exhaustion. The only one still awake was the smallest one. She had allowed herself to let go of you just a little, but you had yet to put her down. Part of that had to do with how scared you had been that she was gone.

“I like your cabin, Cabur.”

“Thank you, ad’ika. Would you like to see my favorite part?”

She nodded as you walked outside, quietly shutting the door behind you. You sat down on the top step to the porch and nestled her against your side. She looked around and then up at you.

“I thought you were going to show me something?”

“I am. I sit here often and just listen to the trees. Where I come from it was very dry and dirty. There were no trees or vegetation.”

“Were there people?”

“A lot of people. Not all of them nice.”

“Like the men that came today?”

You sighed and nodded.

“Yes. They attacked my people too.”

“Woah, they did? But you’re so tough! And so is Verd. What happened?”

“A very dear friend of mine had a child, an ad’ika. There were very mean and bad people that wanted to hurt him, so the tribe fought to protect them. People like us aren’t liked very much in many places. They found where we had been hiding and hurt us. A lot of people left because they were scared but some of them died.”

“That makes me angry.”

“Why angry, sweetheart?”

“B-because you and Verd are nice! I’ll yell at anyone who is mean to you.”

You smiled at her and wrapped your arms around her tighter.

“I know, ad’ika. You’ve grown so much in the cycle and a half that I’ve known you.”

“I remembered what you said. I’m strong because I’m me. So, I’ll be strong.”

You both looked over as Paz walked into the clearing, sporting more weapons than he had left with. He came over and sat next to you, tucking Lahta’s hair behind her ear.

“Why is it that you’re the only one awake?”

“I want to stay with Cabur.”

She let out the cutest yawn you had ever seen. You wished that she could see your smile and to know that she was safe with you.

“You can stay right here. I won’t leave your side unless I have to.”

She nodded and nestled into you, falling asleep quickly. You listened to the small breaths coming from her and shut your eyes, thanking the stars that she was still alive.

“The Armorer is settled. The space is smaller than Nevarro but cleaner. Plenty of space for the nine kids.”

“Eight.”

His head snapped up and looked at you.

“She’s not going anywhere. Not unless she wants to. A-almost losing her today I-”

Your voice cracked and Paz reached over to take your hand in his.

“We will figure it all out. You already know how I feel cayre. Whatever she wants.”

You nodded and shuffled yourself and Lahta closer to Paz, who wrapped his arms around you. You knew it was going to be a long night and a long day with energized kids with no sleep. There was no way you were going to sleep though. You already felt guilty enough that you had failed the very village you swore to protect.

---

Fitting all the kids in Paz’s ship was a challenge. Luckily most of them got along with each other and most of all they were grateful that they were safe. You had explained to them what it would be like to take off and that your journey would be long. They all had questions about the planet you were going to and the kind of people they would live with.

You told them about how you had been on the street as a child. You had lost your parents and your biur had found you and taken you in. Although you left out the condition that had been given to you, they children understood that Mandalorians took in anyone that needed help. They were community above all and cherished their children. They were all excited that they would be surrounded by more people like yourself and Paz. Their elders had taught them that Mandalorians were saviors and protectors, so it didn’t take much convincing for them.

You noticed that Lahta stayed in the back not paying much attention to what you were saying. When you were done with your stories the rest of the kids spread out as much as they could and talked about their new adventure. You turned your head to the side but kept your eyes trained on the small girl. She kept looking up at you and chewing at her lip.

“Lahta?”

Her head popped back up and she stood up quickly.

“Can you help me with something?”

She walked over to you and gave you a huge smile. You helped her up into the cockpit and climbed in after her. You sat next to Paz and pulled her on your lap. She gasped as she looked out at the stars.

“Do you like the view, sarad’ika?”

“Yes. Wow. Wait, what does that mean?”

Paz turned to look at the both of you fully.

“Little flower.”

She beamed up at Paz and you couldn’t help but smile.

“I like that.”

Paz chuckled and rustled her hair playfully.

“What was bothering you earlier, Lahta?”

She looked up at you and shrugged.

“You can talk to me. I will always listen.”

“I.. I don’t want to go to your tribe.”

“Why not?”

“I want to stay with you.”

“Why is that?”

“You two always listen to me. And you’re nice. And your armor is pretty. And the others might not be nice. And what if I don’t fit in? And-“

“Shh sweetheart. You will always fit in with our tribe. I promise you that. But if you want to stay with us, you can stay with us. For as long as you want to.”

She squealed and tossed her arms around your neck.

“Really!? I can stay with you!?”

“Of course, sarad’ika.”

“Then I’ll stay! Until you two want a baby and then I’ll go back to the tribe.”

You looked at each other then back down at her.

“What?”

“At the village I got to stay places until they had a baby then I needed a new home.”

“We don’t believe in that, sarad’ika. Family is more than blood. Family is who you choose to love and cherish. You could never be replaced.”

She smiled and nestled into you, letting you wrap your arms around her.

“Cuyir ibic meg gar copad, mesh’la?” (is this what you want, beautiful?)

“Vaabir gar mirdir vi liser keep kaysh morut'yc?” (Do you think we can keep her safe?)

“Ni mirdir vi liser kar'taylir darasuum kaysh.  Vaabir gar copad at cuyir a buir?” (I think we can love her. Do you want to be a mother?)

“Ni don't kar'taylir pehea.  Kelir gar Gaa'tayl ni?�� (I don’t know how. Will you help me?)

“Elek ner kar'taylir darasuum.  Ni cuy' de gar eso.  Vi cuyir solus.” (Yes my love. I am by your side. We are one.)

“This is the way.”

“This is the way.”

Lahta stirred on your lap and giggled.

“You two talk funny. Will you teach me your language?”

“Ad’ika, I will teach you anything you ever want to know.”

“Haa'taylir? gar cuyir already a buir.  Vi Kelir raise kaysh at cuyir kovid.  Creed ra nayc creed.  Vi cuyir alit.” (See? You are already a mother. We will raise her to be strong. Creed or no creed. We are family.)

“Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum, Paz. Vor entye.” (Thank you, Paz. I love you.)

“Naas Ru'lis Gev ner kar'taylir darasuum par gar, mesh'la.” (Nothing could stop my love for you, beautiful.)

You smiled at him as he squeezed your knee.

“Ibic Kelir borarir.  Bic Kelir cuyir jate.  Vi Kelir cuyir jate.  Cuun clan cuyir kovid, mesh'la.  Gar ganar given ni or'atu than Ni Ru'lis tionir par.” (This will work. It will be good. We will be good. Our clan is strong, beautiful. You have given me more than I could ask for.)

“Ni'll cuyir giving gar or'atu tion'tuur vi rusur.” (I’ll be giving you more when we land.)

Paz growled at the insinuation you purred out and you laughed lightly, looking down at the sleeping form on your lap. He was right; everything was going to be okay. You could feel it deep in your bones.

---

The Armorer was waiting with a few other Mandalorians when you landed. Paz walked out first full of confidence and pride. You had Lahta buried into your neck with her arms wrapped tightly around your neck. The rest of the children tentatively followed Paz and you followed them.

“It looks as if you have completed your task, Paz Vizla. And some.”

He nodded at the woman standing tall in front of him.

“I am safe to assume your clan has grown?”

“Yes.”

“De Tion'solet?” (By how many?)

The other Mando’s looked at you and almost in sync moved their visors down to the signet resting brightly on your chest.

“Vi enteyor jorhaa'ir.” (We must speak.)

“About te adiik ra gar riduur?” (About the child or your wife?)

“Bintar.  Vi enteyor jorhaa'ir be bintar.” (Both. We must speak of both.)

You smiled at Paz and felt a small hand reach up to grab yours. You knelt down keeping the small girl balanced on you.

“Cabur, I am afraid.”

You looked at the sweet boy in front of you. His face was tear stained and even more were threatening to fall down his face. You wiped his tears gently after you pulled your glove off.

“Do not be afraid, ad’ika. All of those around you that wear the armor as I do will protect you.”

“They speak weird.”

You chuckled and cupped the side of his head with your hand.

“You will learn that too, if you wish.”

He nodded at you and peeked at everyone standing around them. When you stood you saw that the Armorer was watching you intently.

“The children will be safe while we speak. Follow me. We can stop to drop them off in the nursery. They can eat and play.”

The kids perked up at the idea of eating. You followed Paz and the group of kids followed you. It was a much nicer area, but they were right to say it was smaller. Though, if all the Mando had come out when you arrived there wasn’t going to be an issue with space.

It took no time at all to get into the building and where the nursery was. There were only a few children but the Mando taking care of them perked up when you walked in with the new additions. They were ushered in and led to a table with promise of food and water. It took no time at all for them to start chirping to each other and starting to connect with the younglings already there.

“Lahta, we need you to go join the other children.”

She mumbled a no and buried herself deeper into you. You figured it couldn’t be comfortable against the metal you were covered with, but she didn’t want to let go.

“Lahta, ner sarad’ika, Cabur and I will be back. The sooner we get this done the sooner you can see us again.”

“You won’t leave without me?”

She finally turned to look at Paz and you felt her grip start to loosen.

“Of course not.”

Paz bumped his forehead to hers and she giggled. She finally let you put her down and walked slowly over to the table. When she saw there was food she perked up and started talking to some of the kids she knew. Your heart swelled at just how strong she was being.

“Cyare, let’s go.”

You looked up at Paz and nodded. You almost missed the way Lahta looked at the two of you before you walked out of the room. You hoped that she wanted to stay with you as much as you wanted her to.

---

You sat next to Paz as the Armorer and a senior member of the tribe sat across from you. It had been so long since you had seen anyone but Din and Paz that you felt nervous. You were also used to being around people who had readable expressions. Even with Paz you were used to seeing him.

“Welcome back. I was afraid that Paz had failed in his mission.”

“He almost did.”

“Don’t let her downplay. She shot me when I showed up.”

The Armorer let out an amused huff.

“I would expect nothing less from you. The children called you cabur. Do they not know your name?”

“No. They had an elder that knew a bit of our culture. They never pushed for a name nor did they push to see my face.”

“So, no one has seen your face?”

“No one but my riduur.”

She nodded once, seemingly satisfied with your answer.

“The children will be safe here. Their home is gone?”

“Destroyed. They are all alone.”

“They are safe here until they decide to stay or go.”

“Armorer, they won’t be forced, right?”

“No. To take the creed or not will be their choice, not a condition for their safety.”

You felt Paz tense up next to you. Without thinking you reached over and touched his hand gently to assure him that it was okay. You noticed the two across from you look down slightly then back up. Paz gave you a nod that he was okay.

“What of the girl that seemed attached to you?”

You sighed, not sure where to start.

“Her name is Lahta. Her parents were killed long before I showed up to the village. Paz and I have grown close with her. We would like to take her in as a foundling if she wishes it.”

“Is this a new decision?”

“No.”

You looked up at Paz and nodded, letting him finish.

“We have spoken of it before. We were going to let the idea go because she was safe. She no longer was and the idea of leaving her was.. difficult.”

“Then you will give her the choice. She may choose to become part of your clan or stay here until she makes the same decision the others must make.”

“This is the way.”

“This is the way.”

All of you stood and you were ready to get back to Lahta. You wanted to talk to her and hoped she would choose to stay with you.

“You have shared quarters set up. I had backup provisions in place, but it seems like the two of you are on good enough terms.”

You felt your face heat up but gave her a quick nod.

“Paz you may go. I wish for a minute alone with your riduur.”

Paz looked down at you and you nodded. He touched the pendant lightly and walked away. You smiled at the gesture. It was harder to be intimate with him when both of you were wearing armor, but you understood what he was trying to tell you.

I’m with you.

Once the two men left you sat back down.

“Tell me, young warrior, why did you not return here when your helmet was removed?”

“I knew what my options would be.”

“We could have voted for an exemption. From what he tells me, it saved your life.”

“It did. He did.”

“Did you agree to be his riduur to come back?”

“No. I know it was his goal and at first I think he saw it as more of an obligation but now.. it’s changed. We are together because we want to be. I am glad that I can be back here, and I think part of my decision was made for the tribe.”

“But part was decided for you. For happiness.”

You nodded and hoped she wouldn’t be angry.

“Your biur were particularly hard on you. Even before you took your oath you never wore a smile. Now I can hear it in your voice when you speak to him. We are a community, but your happiness is important too. Din Djarin left behind enough beskar for new armor for you.”

“I don’t wish to take away from the tribe.”

“You aren’t. Those who left also left behind a lot. Din just made it clear that if no foundlings were in need of it that you should have it. He knows how hard it has been for you to get to this point.”

You nodded and looked down at your own armor.

“I think you becoming part of the Vizla clan is a fresh start for you. You deserve the honor of the signet you represent now. You deserve armor that you have earned.”

You nodded and stood.

“Thank you.”

“I have already started it. It will be done in a day’s time. This is the way.”

“This is the way.”

You went to walk out of the room but stopped, turning slightly.

“Din wasn’t there when Paz and I had worked things out.”

“He said he had a feeling.”

“When did you start my armor?”

“Does it matter?”

You sighed but shook your head. It was starting to feel like everyone knew you better than you knew yourself.

---

You walked in the room to Paz making the bed. You shut the door behind you and locked it before slipping your helmet off. He stood up tall and took his off as well, smiling at you. You returned the smile and walked over to kiss him.

“How did your talk go?”

“Apparently I’m getting all new armor.”

“Like a whole new set?”

“Din left the rest of the beskar for me. He talked to her after he left us, and the armor is already almost done.”

He smirked and shook his head.

“How are you feeling about it? I know I feel connected to my armor.”

You shrugged and sat on the bed, groaning when you twisted as much as possible to alleviate the kink you had been holding between your shoulders since the explosion went off.

“I earned this armor with my biur. Other than the memories it holds no sentiment to me. Even the memories aren’t always the best.”

“Did you regret taking your oath?”

“I think at first. It was more that the hardships were turning into resentment because of being forced. I knew what I needed to do and what it meant but it’s not like I grew up seeing it or even was able to see it knowing I could choose.”

He sat next to you and put his arm over you, pulling you to him. You leaned against him and sighed.

“I think you would have taken it. I vaguely remember when they brought you in. You’ve always been full of it.”

You laughed and shook your head.

“I don’t remember you.”

“Yeah, because you saw Din and immediately latched onto him.”

“Oh, shut up I did not latch onto him.”

“He calls you his shadow, cyare.”

You laughed and shrugged. He pulled you back, so you were lying next to him still wrapped up in his arms. You started to feel just how exhausted you were after not sleeping much on the trip. There always to be at least one kid needing attention or assurance. You loved them all, but you were damn tired.

“So, tell me, how long did you have a crush on Din for?”

“What?”

“Oh, come on. I saw the way you followed him around. We used to pick at him for it.”

“How did that end?”

“A lot of fights.”

You laughed and shook your head.

“Maybe a childhood girlish crush but I think it was more admiration than anything. He was strong. I mean everyone in the tribe was strong, but he didn’t look at me like I was different. He didn’t.. uhm.. he never saw me as aruetii.”

Paz stiffened beside you. The silence between the two of you was deafening. You had talked about a lot of things with him, but you had never brought up how harsh his words had been. You pulled away, moving so you were lying flat on your back.

“I was so horrible to you.”

“Yes, you were.”

“How could you possibly forgive that? Called your aruetii and pulled your helmet off. What an asshole.”

You laughed and turned your head to look at him. He was staring up at the ceiling with a small frown tugging at his lips.

“I did shoot you.”

He finally laughed which brought a smile to your face.

“You did shoot me. You know, you may be the only person who has shot me and lived to tell the tale.”

“Wow, I feel so lucky. You were so enamored by being shot at you gave me your signet and a spot in your clan. Good thing some other woman didn’t do it first.”

He growled and rolled over, propping himself up over you. You were laughing up at him, knowing there was no way you could move. Between how hard the bed was and the fact that the man above you was a giant covered in beskar, you were pinned.

“You’re the only one for me, cyare. Don’t you dare think differently.”

“Hmm, and what happens if I do?”

“Then I’ll have to remind you over and over until it gets through that pretty skull of yours.”

“That sounds like it could be.. interesting. Maybe I need you to remind me.”

He growled again and pressed his lips to yours. He kissed you passionately but broke away sooner than you wanted him to.

“We have things we need to do first.”

“I’m so tired.”

“I know, cyare. Let’s get these things finished then I will not let anyone disturb us until tomorrow afternoon.”

“You say that now but you’re their big bad warrior. There are foundlings and younglings to teach. There are security protocols that need to be looked over.”

“I also have a riduur that needs to be fucked until she can’t move.”

You gasped and looked up at him.

“Paz Vizla. Listen to you getting all dirty. I like it.”

He kissed you again, nipping at your lip before climbing off of you. You grabbed his extended hand and laughed when he pulled you to his chest. He gently grabbed your chin and made you look at him with a sly smile on his face.

“Just you wait, mesh’la.”

---

When you walked into the nursery room, all the kids from the village ran over. You noticed the younglings that were already there looked at you cautiously but lit up when Paz followed you. You both sat on the floor and listened to them all talking about their food and how everyone is nice. You could have lived forever in that moment finally seeing smiling faces and barely any tears.

“Cabur?”

You turned your head to the oldest boy from the group and took his hands in yours. Those in your tribe weren’t usually so touchy but you found the children responded better when they knew you were paying attention to them. Your face couldn’t be seen so you had to show them in other ways that they had your attention. You thought hard to remember his name until it dawned on you. Spending most of your time with Lahta had made it harder to get to know the other kids on a more personal level.

“What is it Thomas?”

“Why did those men come and hurt everyone?”

“Sometimes people are bad for no reason. They do horrible things without a cause. I don’t know why those men attacked, not really.”

Paz placed his hand on your leg and gave you a light squeeze. You did know why they were there, but it was only because you had been protecting them.

“Why didn’t you stop them?”

You weren’t sure if the room actually went quiet or if it was just the blood pounding in your ears. Your entire body was stiff and the panic you felt was only rivaled by the panic when you couldn’t find the kids. Paz’s hand clamped down on your thigh which started to bring you back, but you had no idea how to answer him. You didn’t know how to answer any of them.

“You were there to protect us, Cabur. But everyone is gone. My mom and dad are-“

The small boy lunged at you as he began sobbing. You wrapped your arms around him and held him close. The guilt and pain had been nagging at you, but you had been so busy it didn’t have time to fully hit you. Not until Thomas asked you the same questions you had been dying to ask yourself.

“I’m so sorry, Thomas. I would give anything to go back and change what happened.”

“I miss my mom.”

His voice hiccupped and you bit your bottom lip to stop yourself from crying.

“I know, sweetheart. I know ad’ika. Your m-mom would be so proud of you.”

“She would?”

He sat up and wiped at his face, resting all his weight on one of your legs.

“Yes. You saved them. You saved the rest of the children. You listened and you were so brave. You kept them all safe until I could get to you. I was so scared when I couldn’t find any of you, but you went exactly where you were supposed to. Your p-parents would be so so proud of you. I promise you that.”

“I-I didn’t know what else to do.”

“You did the right thing. You’re already so strong. You have a warrior’s heart.”

You poked gently at his chest and he beamed at you through his tears.

“You are safe now. All of you. We spoke with the Alor, our leader. This is your home for as long as you want to be here.”

“Will we get to wear a helmet like you?”

You looked back at Thomas and nodded once.

“If that is what you want. You all are welcome to learn the creed and take it as you grow older. You do not have to though. It will be your choice. You are safe and welcome until you are ready and able to make a decision.”

Thomas leaned in closer and whispered, hoping only you could hear him.

“I want to be a warrior like Paz.”

“You can be whatever you want to be, ad’ika.”

You could tell by the way Paz puffed his chest out that he had absolutely heard the childs confession.

You forced yourself through sitting with the kids for a few hours. You could see as they became more comfortable not only with their surroundings but the others in your tribe. You were glad that the rest of your tribe seemed to understand just how hard things had been for them.

“You doing okay, cyare?”

You looked over at Paz and nodded once. He continued looking at you. There was no way he didn’t know that you weren’t being truthful but for the sake of the kids, you were glad you had your helmet on.

“Cuyir gar jate?” (Are you good?)

You smiled at his change to Mando’a.

“Ni cuy' o'r aaray.” (I am in pain)

“Vaii?” (Where?)

You touched over where your heart is. After that you touched the side of your head.

“Oh. Cyare-“

“Not here.”

He sat up straighter but nodded.

“Liser gar rejorhaa'ir Lahta ni kelir haa'taylir kaysh nusujii?” (Can you tell Lahta I will see her soon?)

“Elek. Slanar.” (Yes. Go.)

You slipped out of the room and made your way towards your chambers. It was hard to breathe and you knew it was another episode. You didn’t know what to call them, but you had them often when you were living alone, and you became too overwhelmed. You made it into your room and locked the door. The only person coming in would be Paz.

You whipped around when the door opened, surprised that Paz had shown up so quickly. He locked the door and walked right to you, pulling your helmet off gently so he could set it on the floor. He yanked his own off and dropped it to the ground with a thud.

“Talk to me.”

“I just.. can’t breathe. It’s like.. It’s like my beskar is too heavy.”

He gently led you into the bedroom and started to carefully pull all the beskar off your body. You tried to control your chest from heaving, but it didn’t feel any better. Once it was done, he backed you up, so you were sitting on the edge of the bed. He knelt down between your legs and put his hands on the sides of your face.

“Have you been like this before?”

You nodded and finally felt tears start to well up in your eyes.

“How often does it happen? I’ve been with you for half a cycle and I haven’t seen it.”

“Ever since.. I left. They just.. happen.”

“Your mind is troubled. Your biur never taught you this?”

You shook your head and felt even worse. He pulled his armor off quickly and tossed it to the ground so he could pull you to his chest. You let him hold you tight and focused in on the steady heartbeat coming from his chest. He murmured to you in basic and Mando’a. After a while your breathing returned to normal and your body started to relax.

“Is your breathing okay?”

You nodded against him and finally wrapped your arms around his waist. You were absolutely exhausted. He helped you lay down and after shucking off the rest of his armor and his boots he joined you. You looked at his chest, embarrassed that he had seen you like that.

“The first time my biur felt like that around me, he destroyed his entire room. Din and I had been waiting for him to return after a hunt. He had run into some really bad trouble. He never talked about it, but he finally just snapped. He explained later that sometimes when you see things so terrible that they eat at you until you can process it.”

“Have you ever felt like that?”

“Yes. There is nothing embarrassing about this. I’m just sorry that you had to go through this alone for so long.”

“I thought I was losing my mind.”

He tilted your chin up so you had to look at him. He gave you a soft smile and shook his head.

“No, cyare. Everyone has their breaking points in different situations. You’ve had a lot of weight on your chest in the last cycle. Just please remember that you’re not alone anymore. These burdens are not yours alone to carry.”

Your chest tightened up as you felt tears sting your eyes again.

“I failed them, Paz. I failed every single one of them, even the ones left living.”

“What do you think would have happened if you hadn’t been there?”

“They came there because of me.”

“No. Stop. They came there because they are horrible creatures hellbent on hurting others. They were there before you got there. You gave them almost two cycles of peace. Who knows if the children would have survived if you hadn’t shown up. They all could be gone.”

“I should have protected them I should have-“

Paz silenced you by pressing his lips to yours. You wanted to continue speaking but when you moved your hands up to push him away at his chest, he wrapped his hands around yours. You finally huffed against him and couldn’t help but smile when he chuckled.

“If one Mandalorian could save the galaxy we wouldn’t have lost so many during the purge. Right?”

“I guess.”

“You did great things for them, cyare. Those who are lost are living on through the little ones that are now safe here. Grieve those who are lost but cherish the ones still here.”

“I just wish I could have done more.”

“I know the feeling. When the guild attacked, I felt like I didn’t do enough. I felt the same way when I found out you had left.”

“I’m sorry I-“

“No. You owed me nothing. I was the one who hurt you. Don’t apologize for reacting to being hurt.”

You nodded and sighed. Not feeling much better but you felt peace at least being with him.

“I thought of you, you know. On Nevarro.”

“When the guild attacked?”

“More often than that, but that is what I’m referencing.”

“Why?”

“Part of me wished you were there so I could apologize. I didn’t know if I was going to be standing by the end of that fight. Then I was just overwhelmingly glad you weren’t there as I watched our family fall. I know that you are tough, and I know you can hold your own. I just knew that if you were still out there then our strength would carry on.”

“Or was it because I’m beautiful when I’m dying.”

His hands stilled on your body and the pause between the two of you was deafening. You burst out laughing and he grumbled against your skin.

“Would you shut up?”

“No. No you aren’t living that one down.”

You laughed again and he pulled you further into him. He finally chuckled and buried his face into your neck.

“Remind me to never misspeak around you again.”

“It was cute, Paz.”

He huffed out a sigh.

“I do wish I had been next to you fighting.”

“It wasn’t time for us to be together yet. Now is the time and I will do what I can to make sure you are by my side for as long as possible.”

“I love you. I’m so glad you came to find me. I’m so glad I’m not alone anymore.”

“Never. Never again.”

He wrapped his arms around you, letting you nestle into his chest. You felt the blanket being pulled across you as your eyes started flutter.

“Sleep, my sweet riduur. Sleep knowing that you are a strong warrior worthy of the love and admiration of those around you. I will remind you every day just how strong you are.”

Cabur Tag List:

 @computeringturtle​ @mrsdaamneron​ @finnisrioting 

Permanent Tag List:

@mapplestrudel​ @cannedsoupsucks​

If I missed you or you want to be added/removed please let me know!

[mc-critical]

Hello! Hope you're having a good day

I have a question about mck. I haven't watched it but I've seen a lot of cuts from episodes on youtube and fan's discussions so I hoped you might explain something to me.

Everybody says that Kosem killed her sons only for power and it wasn't for the good of the country. Is that true? Was Murad a good ruler in the show? All I know is that he was harsh and in the end wanted to kill his brothers. What Ibrahim? In history he clearly made a very poor ruler. What about the show?

Hi!

Fans often have different interpretations of the subject matter and what is perceived on-screen, so some of them might say that Murat IV was a good ruler in the show and some might say that he isn't. Really depends on what you consider a good ruler - is it someone who goes on campaigns and wins wars for his country, is it someone who cares about the people, the janissary and their opinions above all else or is it someone who considers himself unquestionable authority and refuses to take any advice, even if they took the wrongest, most problematic decision ever?

To me, show!Murat is anything but a good ruler. He ascends the throne as a kid, with Kösem as a regent, and I feel that he never actually gained any experience in how to truly rule the state. And yet, when the time comes for him to actually take matters into his own hands, he is ecstatic to finally assert his will and dominance for everyone to see and learn. One of the key problems with him are that he not only wants his decisions to be completely unparalleled and undebated, he considers everything he does as right out of principle. He has the mindset that every single decision he takes is absolutely correct and is beneficial for the state, but not because it's actually correct or beneficial, but only because he's the padişah and "the shadow of God on Earth". And there are quite a lot of decisions that are problematic at best (forbidding alchohol and then you yourself drink it) and outright destructive and dangerous at worst. (leaving just like that, even it's after a traumatic event for you, caused a huge literal revolt!) And even if he realizes what he's doing isn't right, he ignores every kind of advice when people around him tell him to do the precise opposite. This guy is so drowned in his own ego and authority that he destroys everyone around him.

But then again, there's that side of things where, writing-wise, you understand where all that comes from - most of Murat's flaws as a ruler stem from the massive past trauma of Osman's death, which only caused irreparable damage to the mind of such a small kid. It created such unrelenting paranoia that Murat began to forever believe that he couldn't count to anyone but himself. This is what his "meeting" with Osman in E47 symbolizes, he hears both what he wants to hear and that part of Osman which could never accept Kösem's outside interference. That's also the episode where "one Murat went away, there comes the other" and there he began to go further into the abyss of his own beliefs. Murat has Süleiman's paranoia, but upped to eleven in a more offending form, because while with Süleiman this paranoia grew gradually and he could let it go more easily, because despite of all he knew how to rule a good state, with Murat it was always there from the very start, constantly preventing him from doing the right thing, especially due to the constant fear of being manipulated and deceived by someone else (just like Osman thought he was.) and always thinking he's in his mother's shadow.

Speaking of which, Kösem and Murat's dynamic is the central conflict of season 2 of MCK and that's not only an interpersonal character conflict, as it would seem at first glance to someone who's new to the franchise in example, it's a conflict of one newly established and another already established powers in the palace that would never back down and fight for what they think is right. Kösem and Murat have a different relationship with the state. The state for Kösem has a dynamic role - firstly, it was a role she had to accept for the greater good (her standing in front of the people in Ahmet's name in E07 of season 1.), then she saw herself engrained in it due to her strong sense of justice. (getting revenge for her father, trying to expose Fahrye, then Handan and Derviş and lastly, ''protecting the country" from Iskender.) By season 2 country and power are already synonymous to her due to her fully taking the responsibility of a regent and taking the country in her wing of protection, always keeping an eye on it and consistently representing it without a second thought. The state for Murat, however, is static - it is something given to him by God himself, it is something he takes for granted, without truly trying to improve it. The first steps he takes as a ruler is to seemingly "clear" his own path, to remove the traitors around him. And while that seems correct and valid at first glance, he never sees the bigger scheme of things, due to his paranoia. He doesn't see the people who actually conspire to remove him (which is why he never found out the true traitor in his palace and died, thinking this person was the most loyal man ever.), but sees what he wants to see, this shadow who is looming in for years. Murat thinks his mother is a problem, which is why the first step he takes, is to immediately remove her regency and then send Kemankeş to follow her around. These two forces clash with each other incessantly, with their opinion of a state at constant odds. There have been many times throughout the show where Murat does a problematic thing, Kösem tries to snap him out of it and fails, because he doesn't want to listen to her no longer. He's always felt that she overshadowed his own reign, even in her regency years (see the flashbacks in E56.) and he wants to believe that he's already a big man, a person who can do anything, even with a big lack of experience. So whoever tries to give him decent advice is immediately washed off and out of the question, because who are they, they don't know better, he's the only one who does. This mindset is reflected as totally wrong in the show with the people and the janissary despising him, with the numerous revolts (the season literally began with a revolt.), with the multiple traitors around him, with everyone (Atike and Farya aside) turning against him sooner or later. That of course isn't appreciated by Kösem, and she, being the self-and not-so- self- proclaimed representative of the state, tries to fix this all, even if it means acting behind Murat's back. She doesn't really wish her son harm only due to him eclipsing her own power, she just sees the genuine flaws of his rule and is willing to achieve everything to fix it. Later on she began to indeed consider him as unworthy due to all the mistakes he made, claiming that the country is able to defend itself and listing qualities that all padişahs should possess like virtue and justice. She saw how messy all of it became and instinctively began to search for solutions that even came to ending him. (her ordering the doctor to cease healing his illness.) The narrative doesn't actually condemn this choice, highlighted by Murat's last flashback with him reuniting with his mother.

Murat is the one that killed Kasım and Bayezid in show, because he considers them a threat to his own power, first and foremost. Bayezid's the primary one, him being the eldest heir, with people wanting him on the throne from the get-go, when Murat was alive. Murat doesn't accept threat to his own power, and his brothers aren't exceptions, even though he told them certain times that he wouldn't put them in the kafes or take their life. Even though Bayezid became so much like his toxic mother (Gülby, I love you, but sorry.), prone to revenge, harsh actions and gaining questionable one-sided morality, his death was heartbreaking. As for Kasım, Murat took drastic measures, because Kösem thought Murat was dead and tried to calm down the people by bringing to them Kasım exactly as the next sultan. This was extremely harsh, because after all Kösem used it only as a desperate measure, to calm the people down and to apply the most optimal solution. Putting Kasım in the cafes when you once said that you wouldn't is honestly chief irony, reaching Süleiman's level, but worse.

Yes, Kösem was the one who ultimately sealed the pact to kill Ibrahim, but this was due to manipulation. Turhan Sultan wanted his death to pave the way for her little son and gain absolute power, so she indeed pushed Kösem's love and dedication to the country against her. She was put in a position where she had no other choice but to accept - we had a mentally ill Sultan as a ruler, one who could be reckless, one who could cause imbalance and instability and one who also doesn't really listen. So she decided his destiny and the theme of the loss of innocence, the core theme of the whole show, came full circle. She killed Ibrahim, but she wasn't happy with it, she was devastated and her conscience spoke so loudly, she couldn't unhear it. And that deed of hers made her give it all up - by the time of her death, she only wanted piece, nothing else, and she wasn't even interested in who gets the ring of power and she wasn't all that focused on her own death, either. Life was over for her.

Anyway, yeah, it all depends on interpretations of the events and characters and where your sympathies extend. MCK has really interesting and complex themes and I wholeheartedly recommend for you to watch it to drive your own conclusions. Thanks for the question and have a nice day!

[onmykneesforhotdilfs]

Hello, I wanted to ask you for a special shipment for Valentine's Day that is about the wedding of bloom and valtor and their married life, I would appreciate it very much, I hope I will not be a bother, thank you. ps: I love your writing bye.

First of all, of course you can have special shipment for valentine's day that is about the wedding of Bloom and Valtor and their married life.

Secondly, thank you so much for your kind words. You guys can't even believe how much your encouragement means to me.

Thirdly, I have like 5 more requests sitting in my inbox but please be patient, i promise to get to them as soon as possible. School is sitting on my chest currently. They will be done, the only question is when will I find the necessary time to do them.

Ok so without further ado, here we go. I decided to do this headcanon style, but if you guys want full fledged wedding or married life ff, just send in a request and it'll be done (eventually).

Sparxshipping wedding/married life headcanons (valentine's day special)

Engagement

Weirdly enough, it took place on Earth instead of Domino. Valtor organized an incredible evening in a rather nice restaurant, invited both of her families and all of her closest friends, Winx and specialists, including Sky (Bloom remained on friendly terms with the guy after the break up). The plot twist, he never told anyone he planned to propose. His manners and etiquette threatened to kick him in the ass for not asking Oritel for his permission to marry his daughter, but he had a hunch his future father in law would say "No." and that would do more harm than good in the future. Mike was more fond of him, especially when he noticed his rival (Oritel seemed to have the habit of making people dislike him) hated the magician with passion.

Valtor picked out the ring months before and he was just waiting for the perfect moment to present his beloved with it. The perfect moment seemed to strike when Bloom said one evening she always wanted to get all her friends and both of her families together on one big dinner in some nice Earth restaurant so they can all just chill for one night (she wanted to show her birth parents the planet she grew up on and she also wanted it to have a symbolic meeting for all of her friends). So when the opportunity struck, Valtor took it and wouldn't let go. Bloom protested to him organizing and paying for dinner she wanted but he had none of it and simply told her to 'relax and leave it all in his capable hands'.

All of Bloom's friends accepted the call immediately but Oritel made Valtor sweat for a few days before even he succumbed to his daughter's invitation (also, he suspected Marion had her fingers in tipping the king over the edge because if Valtor learned anything while he worked in the palace 20+ years ago, it was that Marion, despite her innocent looking facade, was quite the blackmailer and if he deduced correctly, she wore the pants in that household).

He was not nervous for a moment while he planned the whole thing even though he expected it at least on some level. But nothing could've prepared him for that moment when the dinner was done and they all stood up to leave the restaurant. The minutes were agonizing for him and despite everything he started second guessing his decision. It took all of his self control not to chicken out.

As it turned out, he had nothing to be anxious about, because as soon as he dropped to one knee, Oritel made an inhuman sound in the background, and popped the question while presenting Bloom with the ring, she threw herself on him and screamed 'YES!" in his ear. He could vaguely hear her friends screaming from excitement and happiness, that was mostly Stella, and one not so very happy voice saying "God damnit NO!", but he paid them no attention as his shaky fingers slipped the ring on Bloom's equally shaky hands. She threw her hands around his neck and kissed him while happy tears streamed down her face.

Wedding

The newly engaged couple was in no hurry to tie to knot and that seemed to displease everyone, mainly Stella because she wanted to go shopping for wedding dresses and bridesmaids dress (not that she needed the excuse to go shopping but 'Guysssss, this is special!'), but Oritel. As far as Valtor managed to catch, he was persistent in making his daughter change his mind about marrying Valtor. Then, overnight it seemed to him, Oritel started being more friendly and willing to spend some time with Valtor to 'get to know him'. He didn't understand the sudden shift in the beginning, but when his fiance took time to explain she threatened to burn all the expensive curtains in the palace if the king doesn't start minding his own business, everything fell into place.

The wedding preparations took over a month when they actually started planning, which was well over two years after the engagement but they figured, if they waited this long, they can wait a bit longer too. It was decided that the wedding will take place on Andros where their first official meeting happened, on a Colosseum he created to save her life when Icy's ice block knocked her unconscious into the water. Flora offered the help with the decorations, Stella dragged Bloom dress shopping and Musa and the rest of the fairies took care of other essentials in consultation with the wedding planner Bloom and Valtor personally picked out.

Despite the fact they already live together, they decided to somewhat respect the tradition and spent the night before the wedding separately. This was partially done to make Oritel a bit more docile at their wedding and to honor the tradition of groom not seeing the bride in her dress before the wedding. They both had difficulty with that as was evident when neither of them could sleep that night, their bodies and fire inside too accustomed to the other being near. Bloom spent the night on Domino and Valtor went back to Alfea. The parting kiss the two shared had to be interrupted by Marion and Vanessa, so neither Oritel nor Mike came out to see what's taking their daughter so long to say goodbye, before it turned into a heavy makeout session. The two had to be almost hauled apart, Marion and Vanessa holding Bloom as Daphne took Valtor by the collar of his shirt and dragged him away to Alfea.

The morning brought no relief however because Valtor was too busy lowkey freaking out and Bloom herself couldn't stop rushing around the palace to fetch stuff she needed despite the fact maids could bring it to her. Valtor's mental breakdown was stopped by Andy, his best man weirdly enough (they got really friendly after the whole Earth mission and black circle fiasco. There was originally a bit of jealousy on Valtor's part because Bloom seemed to really like Andy and it reached the peak when he found out they dated back in the day. But Andy's quirky personality and unending questioning about magic really brought them closer together and helped Valtor realize, Andy is one of the best humans to have around).

Bloom got her fair share of support from Stella, who even threatened to slap her friend on the wrist for not sleeping, but sympathy shone in her eyes when Bloom told her she couldn't sleep because Valtor wasn't there. She also made a quite inappropriate joke in a very inappropriate time just as her parents, both pairs, entered a room. "So you couldn't sleep because Valtor isn't here or was it the exercise that is done primarily beneath the sheets that you missed?" Oritel gripped the door frame so hard Bloom though she even heard it crack. Bloom blushed like a tomato and gritted her friend's name through her teeth but luckily blonde took the hint and shut her mouth.

As the wedding approached, Valtor got even more fidgety but tried to fight it because he knew in just a few short hours, Bloom will be his forever. All that time, Andy stood on the side and quietly laughed at the man and a friend he always associated with being stoic and good with covering up his emotions. He would've never thought Valtor of all people would succumb to something as trivial as wedding jitters.

When Bloom and her family, together with Stella arrived on Andros, guests and everybody else were moved to the place of ceremony, only Oritel and Mike remaining with her. Bloom decided she wanted to have both of her dads give her away at her wedding day. The tricky part was getting them to get along because Oritel wanted to be the one to give her away ("I'm her father, damn it! Why should I share my right to give away MY daughter on her wedding day?" "Oh please, you royal ass, you don't even like that lad she's marrying! Think of me as a supervisor that makes sure overprotective father of a bride doesn't actually STEAL his daughter so she can't marry!" "I'm the KING! I don't need supervision!" "If both of you don't SHUT UP IMMEDIATELY I'm going to walk down that isle alone." That phrase spoken by Bloom shut them up and the two, although with big frowns on their faces, reluctantly agreed)

Valtor's breath got stuck in his throat when he saw Bloom first time in a wedding dress. The dress had thin straps holding and supporting the dress on her delicate shoulders as the flowy lacy dress sat on her tiny frame perfectly. He saw her stop for a second as she took him in for the first time as well in a burgundy suit with a purple tie and handkerchief of the same color. He didn't even notice as both of Bloom's fathers kept shooting each other looks over their daughter's head during the walk. He only saw Bloom. He woke up from his daydream when Bloom's small delicate hand was placed in his by two larger hands, one belonging to Mike, other to Oritel. He nodded to both of them and gripped her hand like it's his lifeline.

The wedding officiate was saying some nonsense that Valtor didn't listen until it was time to exchange the rings and swear to each other for all eternity. When the ring exchange was done, when all that needed to be said was said and the famous, long awaited words "You may kiss the bride." were spoken Valtor finally relaxed and leaned down to kiss his wife for the first time. The crowd went wild, Stella screamed and Oritel almost fainted, Mike and Vanessa were seen wiping the tears from their eyes. Overall, the wedding was a success.

Roxy, to Andy's big surprise and delight, caught the bouquet. The three story cake was cut and smeared all over newly weds faces. Congratulations were proclaimed and a lot of kisses were shared. A carriage with unicorns, similar to the one on Daphne's wedding got rolled in the moment Bloom and Valtor's feet touched the solid ground. Bloom couldn't contain her excitement and she rounded straight to the unicorns while the guests and her husband said the last goodbye for at least a month. She was shaken out of her trance when Valtor grabbed her hand and then lifted her bridal style into his arms and stepped into the carriage with her in his arms. The couple waved to the crowd beneath and shared a kiss before the carriage disappeared into the portal.

Married life

They spent their honeymoon gallivanting around different worlds but they remained mostly on Earth. They both preferred warmer locations, so tropical resorts were where they chose to spend their honeymoon in. Bloom actually had no involvement in planning of the honeymoon so she was so pleasantly surprised when the portal opened on Maldives and she was greeted by a sight of turquoise water and small but fancy apartments built on water. For someone who seems to spit on a traditional views more than he follows them, she was surprised how many superficial, at least in his opinion, customs Valtor followed for her. Aside from deciding not to see her before the wedding as mentioned before, he also insisted on carrying her over the doorstep.

They spent the whole month without phones and annoying phonecalls from Stella, one of the main reasons why they chose not to bring anything but the emergency bracelet which can be used to contact either party only in a case of an emergency. They had to explain to Stella that new dress in Vogue was not an emergency and therefore, the bracelet was given to Techna because she was the only one they trusted not to abuse the right to call.

When they finally returned from honeymoon, and after they spent good hour and a half convincing Oritel Bloom's not pregnant, a joint decision was made that the newlyweds will be given the keys to the separate wing of the castle where their privacy was guaranteed (yeah right, as if Valtor will get anything even resembling privacy with Bloom while Oritel's around).

Their married life wasn't too different from their normal life. Valtor would wake up first most of the time and would make breakfast for Bloom. Bloom would sleep in most of the time when she didn't have to go anywhere and Valtor would sometimes have to use drastic measures to get her out of bed.

They shower together because 'it saves water', oh wait that was the excuse they used before they were married. Now they shower together because they're married and what they do doesn't concern anyone.

Life in the castle had some advantages but they'll be damned if it didn't have it's fair share of disadvantages as well. The biggest one being, well, Oritel. There were a few times they were almost caught in a compromising situation but somehow they always managed to avoid the full blast. They both knew it was only the matter of time however. Valtor was even tempted to leave the doors unlocked just so Oritel would get what he came to see and hopefully gauge his eyes out so he could longer disturb them. Bloom swatted him over the head for that one.

They both made an appointment not to sacrifice their friendships just because they're married so Winx were guests quite often.

Valtor still decided to teach in Alfea when it was absolutely necessary and when Faragonda asked him nicely few days in advance if he would be willing to teach the class. Bloom would sometimes sneak into the class as well and sit in the back. She would even take notes from time to time.

They would practice magic quite often together in the backyard of the castle that was customized for such situations. But their favorite place in the whole castle was Valtor's office/library where they could both spend hours in, while just reading books and drinking tea.

[mallowstep]

In the Misty au you mentioned that Featherpaw and Storm become warriors at 9 moons old. If Featherpaw was with Tigerclan for 3 moons that means Leopard made them Warriors with out any real apprenticeship (hunting, training, etc). Does this feed in to how Feathertail reacts to being made a warrior? And does the fast tracked warriorship have any repercussions among the clan?

oh yeah, it causes problems.

first, leopardstar's reasoning for making them warriors is that the clan needs them to become warriors, because it sort of...it basically is a symbol of being one clan again.

riverclan has lost a lot lately, and a good percentage of their cats were like. directly and painfully hurt by tigerclan. not just the four: shadepelt, mosspelt, and dawnflower were all punished by tigerstar's reign.

featherpaw knows she's being made into another prop, and she doesn't care why or for what. honestly, she's barely lucid at this point, so how well she even understands what's going on is very, very questionable.

i'll circle back to her life as a warrior in a moment, but as far as training goes, it has a far bigger impact on stormheart.

he had....probably 3 moons of training. featherpaw and stormpaw had some training pre-tigerclan, although not even a moon's worth.

and while stormheart probably isn't up to par with the average warrior, he fights in the great battle, no one can deny he's earned it. but he doesn't feel like a riverclan warrior: he has forgotten how to swim (well, he thinks he has, but a lot of it is muscle memory), he didn't learn how to dive (something riverclan warriors traditionally have to learn), and he knows all thunderclan fighting techniques.

that gives him a lot of self-doubt. he doesn't really know what to do: he's not an apprentice, his (old) mentor isn't capable of mentoring him, and his sister, well, let's talk about feathertail.

feathertail thinks that leopardstar should have used the dying apprentice ceremony on her, and leopardstar...probably should have.

feathertail is having moments of clarity, interspersed with her forgetting a lot of information and being asleep and being semi-lucid. she parts with mistyfoot for the duration of the ceremony, which means she's in full "i am about to be attacked" mode. because this is how the pattern went:

mistyfoot was taken from her (or vice versa), she was placed in the centre of camp, someone says some fake reason for why she's doing this, and then she's attacked.

so when leopardstar steps down to complete the ceremony, feathertail runs. she's not entirely aware of what she's doing, she just knows that she's not safe, and safety (mistyfoot) is right there, and she takes it.

so feathertail is...not having it.

it's not until a month later that mudfur transitions her care from "better pray that she lives, because herbs alone aren't going to do it" to "okay, we can build you a long term care plan."

(this is about when the three are born, for those following along at home.)

but feathertail is...even if she was physically capable of being a warrior (which...maybe if she didn't climb a mountain and throw herself off a cliff, she could have gotten to that point), she's not mentally capable of it.

she could do border patrols, but if they get into a border fight, she's going to let herself get attacked. and border fights are still pretty common at this point in time.

and she can't extend her claws! like she can't make herself do it. so that's hunting out.

so that's not happening. she raises the three, but that's labour intensive, and causes her so much pain, so she's not going to do that again.

so feathertail has the name of a warrior, but she's not...mistyfoot can't get her to sharpen her claws. feathertail's dew claw is growing into her paw pad, and mistyfoot can't get feathertail to do anything about it.

anyway, stormheart feels extremely isolated. he connects to shadepelt, because she was stonefur's previous apprentice, and they get along really well.

anyway, yeah, it definitely causes problems for them, but leopardstar doesn't see a better option.

she can wait for feathertail to recover, but that might not happen. and if she makes stormheart a warrior, and not feathertail, mistyfoot would be pissed, stormheart and stonefur would be pissed, and feathertail is just going to lose what's left of her self-estemm.

if she waits to make stormheart a warrior, there's a divide in the clan. she calls even more attention to stonefur (since she'd have to give him a new mentor), and she also continues to put featherpaw and stormpaw below their "peers".

what's a leader to do.

(not make featherpaw go through a public ceremony, that's what.)

anyway, i've been working on stuff From This Time, so i have like. so many excerpts. mistyfoot and feathertail arguing about her claws is one of my favourites, because it's just, like, feathertail feeling safe. which is good. but i'm actually go to go with this excerpt from when the three are apprentices, because it's about feathertail coming to terms with her life.

it's also reasonably fluffy.

Now that the kits are apprentices, she's moved back into her den.

Her life is — her life is what passes for normal. She eats prey, she swims, she sits with Mistyfoot, and she listens to her kits tell her about training.

They're apprentices, now, and she thinks that means they're responsible for her. Whether or not that's formal (Leopardstar can hold another ceremony for her when she's dead), they start bringing her prey in the evenings, and they groom her more than the other way around.

She remembers when they were newborns, before they were even named, how they squirmed when she groomed their fur flat. Now, they fight over her.

Quietly.

When they think she won't hear.

But this is — as close to normal as her life will be, she thinks.

Stormheart swims with her, but only sometimes. Sometimes he sits with Shadepelt, and Feathertail teases him. Stonefur goes on patrols sometimes, but not all the time, and when he's not on patrol, he talks to her.

Mistyfoot is the deputy, and she's stepped into her role. Feathertail is happy for her, but being deputy means going on patrol, and overseeing apprentice training, and other things Feathertail doesn't (won't? can't?) do.

When she's in camp, Feathertail still sticks to her side. She doesn't mind when they tease her about it, now, but she still stays there.

"Feathertail, do you want to go for a walk?" Dawnflower is looking at her pleadingly. She's been trying to get Feathertail to go on a walk, or at least to swim somewhere that's not around camp.

"Sure," Feathertail says.

Dawnflower purrs, walking on Feathertail's good side. She doesn't know if it's intentional, but she appreciates it.

This is normal, Feathertail decides. This is — good, maybe.

[bleuspirit]

A take on some “analyses” about Zuko and Katara’s relationship

Ever since A:TLA aired, I have always been (and still am!) a Zutara shipper. I was already around deviantart back in 2008 and so for many years I’ve seen countless arguments and counter-arguments about this ship and almost all of them were in comparison with Kataang (w/c is understandable). Admittedly, I used to agree with the anti-Kataang sentiments back then, but over time (and with age and experience! Ahaha), I learned to appreciate the different ships in ATLA better — even Kataang. It’s just personally, I enjoyed the canon development of Zuko and Katara’s relationship more. I find it more fleshed out I guess — probably because they’re literally the “textbook definition” of relationship development (enemies to best friends kind of thing). But anyway, I’d like to point out that what made me do this is because a lot of the arguments surrounding Zutara and Kataang seem to disregard the canon development of each individual characters, and are specially enclosed in a spicy worded “analysis”. What actually made me see the other ships in a better light are those posts which nicely point out their strengths rather than banking on the weaknesses of the other ships. And since I ship Zutara, I’ll only be talking about their relationship here.

(Long post ahead)

One of the main arguments against Zutara is that Katara wouldn’t want to be the Fire Lady and be the mother symbol of the nation who literally killed her mom. This will be my starting point.

There are already a lot of Katara-centered metas out there which discussed her character development. One of the recurring points in them is that as much as Katara held so much anger against the Fire Nation, The Puppet Master and The Painted Lady proved that she doesn’t take it out on the innocent citizens of the country. Hence, we can safely argue that Katara was mainly angry at those who held power. Unfortunately, it seems like a lot of people still overlook this aspect of Katara’s character — even if it’s what makes her more nuanced. This is the Katara that we love. She’s fierce, compassionate, and fiercely compassionate.

Now, in The Southern Raiders, Zuko himself realized this. Katara told him back in Crossroads of Destiny that “It’s just for so long now, whenever I think of the face of the enemy, it was your face.” Katara knew Zuko was the Prince of Fire Nation. She knew that his forefathers started this war. She saw how persistent he was in (her words) “capturing the world’s last hope for peace”. To her, he was THAT “power” that she hated. That blurry image of the Fire Nation that she hated now had a face (of course, there was Yon Rha but Zuko was the prince). “But what do you know? You’re the Fire Lord’s son.” 

And Zuko realizes this. “I think she’s connected her anger about that (her mother’s death), to her anger at me.” And as we’ve seen in The Southern Raiders, Zuko genuinely tried to atone for every hurt that he has caused her. He sought out for her forgiveness, for her to see that he’s a friend that she could rely on. And he did atone himself!

Unfortunately again, most anti-Zutara sentiments seem to brush off Zuko’s entire character arc. Zuko undeniably has one of the best arcs in the history of television entertainment, and he is hands down one of the most beloved fictional characters of all time. But then in trying to deconstruct his plausible romantic relationship with Katara, I often read “but he was a bad person!” or “he’s a bad influence for Katara!”. And honestly, it pains me to read those. We were given one of the greatest scenes in A:TLA where Zuko himself denounced the “Fire Nation Legacy” against the Fire Lord himself. A lot of good commentaries about the show expressly said how glorious that confrontation with Ozai was especially when he called him out on his abuse and their propaganda. “What a great lie that was!” As known to us fans, that was already the turning point of Zuko’s character. From there, he broke free from being part of that line of power.

The conclusion of the The Southern Raiders has shown us that Katara no longer viewed Zuko as the enemy; that he was a good Fire Nation guy. And in fact, she has fully accepted that Zuko represented change in the Fire Nation; that he’s not going to be like his father or grandfather. She forgives him and trusts him completely at the end of the episode. That is why by The Old Masters, Katara readily accompanies Zuko to face Azula because she knows that by defeating his sister, Zuko will be the Fire Lord who will bring a new era of peace to the world. She has to help put Zuko to the throne, and Katara knew damn well that she’s capable to go toe-to-toe with Azula. And we could always view this without the romantic undertones.

It’s actually amazing how the Last Agni Kai parallels the Crossroads of Destiny because if Katara still had reservations about Zuko’s intentions, then she wouldn’t be so down to fight in the Fire Nation capital alone with those two surrounded by comet-powered soldiers. It’s so satisfying to see Zuko and Katara’s canon relationship journey (like as friends) come to full circle in that episode.

And with that, I don’t think Katara will hate the idea of being Fire Lady just because of her previous hatred towards the Fire Nation. Putting on my Zutara glasses now (ahaha), as the Fire Lady, Katara will most likely push for education reform debunking the previous propaganda set by Sozin’s era. As shippers, we can only explore as to what kind of Fire Lady Katara would want to be; and I can even see her and Zuko making some changes regarding traditional marriages. Who knows? Only fanfics can tell haha.

We can probably argue that there might be other reasons why Katara wouldn’t want to be Fire Lady (or like a traditional Fire Lady), but surely it’s not because she hates Fire Nation citizens or that because Zuko did them wrong before. I just wish we won’t overlook their character developments often. Yes, Zuko deserved the anger Katara held against him before, but he had already atoned himself to her. We all know that by the end of the series, they would literally and canonically die for each other — with or without romantic feelings.

Additionally, another thing that I adore about Zuko and Katara’s relationship is that they have a strong emotional bond. Of course, it is already granted that Zuko shares strong emotional bonds with the rest of the gaang as well, and I’m not here to point out that he has the best bond with Katara, because in canon, he’s great with everyone. We’ve seen him have a heart-to-heart talk with every member of the gaang. And now for a shipper, I think this is a great foundation for a healthy relationship!

Zuko grew up suppressing a lot of things and he needs to be in an environment where he can freely express himself, especially that he has a tendency to have self-destructive thoughts. And I’m really glad that he got to have that safe space with the gaang. Zuko could openly air out his frustrations and worries to them, and the gaang understands where he is coming from and helps him sort his issues out — including Katara (see: The Old Masters, conversation outside Iroh’s tent). As for Katara, we can safely infer that Zuko is a good listener and makes good responses. (”Your mother was a brave woman.”) If Zutara did become endgame, it wouldn’t have been a stretch since the series have already showed us that his relationship with each member of the gang is healthy. 

The entire show is complex and it was written extremely well that it reflects a lot of things in our world — including relationship dynamics. Meaning, nothing’s really perfect.

Finally, to end this, I’d like to remind everyone that there’s no point in trying to engage in a messy fanwar. Just enjoy your ships in peace and if you don’t agree with one, then don’t go around asks insulting people about their ships. There’s more to life than that. ✨

[sweet-croissants]

Julie and the Phantoms Character Appreciation

Part 1 - Alex

I’ve never seen a character like Alex. No I don’t mean I’ve never seen a gay character/ character with anxiety. I’ve never seen a character where it’s not their entire personality or a show handle it the way they do. They didn’t have his “combing out scene” be this huge dramatic moment, they didn’t stop the spin of the earth so they could “reveal the truth about his sexuality!” No, it’s was said in a way that you could have almost missed it if you weren’t paying attention and it was said so casually that I almost forgot how important the representation he symbolized was. It was normal. They didn’t wait till the the 7th season, or even the end of the season to say it, so there was no queer baiting and no hesitation to embrace who he was in the show. Finally, the guys don’t ever, not once, talk about it to him as if he is going to burst out into tears if they say a word wrong. They don’t treat him as if he’s fragile about it, and I get it for some people it’s a sensitive topic and should be talked about carefully, but they know how Alex doesn’t want to be treated as if he’s weak. (E9 when they are in the hug circle thing “I feel stronger....not that I was ever weak”) And because of this, they don’t treat him like it. Obviously they aren’t insensitive but they don’t act as if they are walking on a minefield. His anxiety is relatable too. It’s not over done, exaggerated, or enhanced so they can get the point across that he has it only to drop in 10 minutes later to never mention it again. And both his anxiety and him being gay I’d done in a way that little kids can understand I think that we think topics like these to hard or difficult for kids to understand, but the truth is they can. You just have to be blunt in a way. Boys can like boys, girls can be boys, you can be whoever you wanna be, and it’s okay to worry over things even if they seem like you shouldn’t because “they are simple”, it’s all okay and natural.

Part 2 - Reggie

Reggie makes me happy to see because it shows certain things about kids who’s parents are divorced and are neglected. At the very least he was emotionally neglected, but neglected non the less. And obviously, not all kids handle this the same way, and that’s why Reggie is so important to me. Reggie obviously rebelled, even a little by joining a rock band and I don’t think he took on all the responsibility to take care of himself. Reggies not dumb, he’s oblivious and half the time I think he’s not as oblivious as we think he is. And he’s only oblivious when he thinks he can get away with it, like when he asks where Luke is going on his birthday as if he doesn’t know what happened. He also does something I found I used to do when I was lonely in a room full of people, and that’s ask dumb questions. Yes, he must know the answer but it’s puts a little attention on himself, and you can guess that he didn’t get a lot of that from his parents. Even if it’s at his expense, he’s willing to dell included in what they are talking about. He still has his serious moments though, which are usually right after he realizes that he can’t just play dumb to get out of the situation. You can also see that it hurts him a lot when he gets played off as being the dumb one, but it’s probably what he thinks of as his only way to get people to listen to him (everyone treating him like he’s an idiot also probably hurts his confidence leading to this too). Another thing I’ve noticed is his attachment to Ray. He knows how amazing of a father Ray is because of how much he loves Julie and Carlos. This is why he respects Ray so much, because even though he’s going through his own thing with his wife’s death, he never forgets to be their for his kids and that’s probably something Reggie never had.

Part 3 - Luke

Like is kinda special. I’ve seen characters similar to him but something about him sets him apart from everyone else I’ve seen. I’ve seen character that are cute and don’t take advantage of it but instead are super nice, I’ve seen that before but the difference is how he does it. In the first episode, right after Julie kicks the out, he’s not even mad or angry with her. Maybe he’s upset, but not at her. He’s upset because he just found out he died and then lost what he considers his second home. So, he explains that to her, but he doesn’t argue it he just wants to tell her his side of the story. And when she explains hers, he’s sorry and apologetic for her bad day and you can tell he’s being genuine. Before it’s obvious he likes her, he helps her get back into her music program because he knows how important it is. He gives her a song that he wrote and talks her up when she doubts herself. You can also tell that he never stopped loving his mom, no matter how many times they fought. He knows that she cared about him, which is why they fought in the first place. His only fear, the reason he never truly apologized, was he was scared he finally blew it. That he had officially messed up and she would want to hear from him, that he couldn’t fix what had happened. One more thing, I’ve never seen a character as passionate about something as him. I’m sure that character exists, no doubt, but personally I’ve never seen it. He doesn’t care about the money, yeah it’s a bonus but not the main focus. The main focus is putting a smile on people, making a difference to people, to not be alone. The entire reason he’s mad at Bobby for stealing is music without credit is that no one, including his mom, got to know his dream was worth it. He died and time erased him.

Part 4 - Julie

My love for Julie is astonishing. She’s a Hispanic girl, with gorgeous hair, and beautiful skin, and an amazing tooth gap. I almost fully expected it to be used as a thing she was bullied for, teased about, and made fun of for and when she fixes it, it shows that “she was always secretly beautiful/she could be beautiful all along” and all that junk. The fact that it’s not mentioned once is so wonderful because all people have flaws! People have tooth gaps, stretch marks, and different body types. No one is perfect and neither are their bodies. It also shows that Carrie, the “mean girl” of the show isn’t going to be like all the other mean girls in teen shows and it makes me appreciate her character more. It shows how they used to be friends and even thought Carrie can be mean, it’s never to the extent of making fun of what she looks like. One more thing with Carrie, Julie has never said a mean thing about her in the show. When Flynn makes the comment on the dance routine, she says “well it payed off” and she even complemented the song and choreography for All Eyes On Me. Not once has she said anything mean back and it shows how kind of a person she is. Even though Carrie humiliates her, she never has it in her to truly insult her back. Also, having a Hispanic girl as one of the main characters is wonderful! Representation is always heartwarming to see and this is no exception. They don’t try to shove it in your face in an unrealistic way, but it’s definitely in there consistently, it’s really nice. On top of all that, how she handles her mom‘s death is just as terrific. She’s right, playing music reminds her of her mom and that’s exactly why she should play music! It encourages others to know that it may hurt but it gets better. That there will come a point when smiles and joy filled where sadness and tears used to be when you think of those memories. She’s such a powerful person and it shows.