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#i mean. i sort of already knew that
mrs-luigi-vargas · 9 months
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Was thinking about all the fics I've written in the past few years and I realized that my love language is quality time
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if graham thought the used to be a man thing was just joking and like 5 minutes earlier she said she used to live in the outback for 123 years, he also definitely doesnt have ANY idea how old she is does he
#oh the fun they'll have in support group trying to figure out the doctor's age#graham sitting there just staring for the first 10 minutes like 'oh IMMORTAL immortal. like immortal? like. okay. uh huh. thats. okay.'#thats gotta rewrite like at least half your idea of a person right#im not convinced he or ryan really have an idea of what regeneration means#i think yaz a little more#but not like. really#and yaz was also so taken aback meeting ace and tegan like#other companions get that 'oh youve had lots of people like me' usually kinda early on#get their little jealousy moment#but they NEVER had that#like meeting all these old companions first already must be a bit of a........like rearrangement in your brain#like 'oh but if youre me. and you did this 40 YEARS ago. then uhhhh. the doctor is older than she looks'#and then someone drops a 'yeah when i knew them they said they were 700' and youre OH. OKAY.#like you thought you were travelling with just sort of a weird fucked up guy but then it turns out it's a weird fucked up guy#who has been doing this for longer than your country exists#12 voice: im old enough to be your messiah#fgkjghjkgh#like thats your bud! dfgkjhgjk thats just your fucked up little pal who cant drive what do you mEAN TWO THOUSAND#two THOUSAND years and you still drive THIS badly???#i hope clara comes to the support group some time#she could blow at least the fam's minds a little i think#she knew the last one!#she can provide CONTEXT#between missy and 12 she can provide some GREAT context#also bill i think bill + yaz would be FUN#like hoo boy#bill can fill them in on the master too#feel like missy definitely gets wind of it 'ive been up and down your timeline' and drops by. a couple of times#trying to pass herself off as a companion#doesnt work for super long mostly bc shes just there to Cause Problems On Purpose but it does work for a Bit
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dykeinthedark · 10 days
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venting in tags about gender n shit (long as hell) (u can comment and talk 2 me as always :3)
#okay so i got a really masc haircut about a month ago and i know it's just a haircut but holy shit has it changed EVERYTHING for me#like.... i've always leaned masc except 1) before i came out 2) when i was actively in love with someone who i knew liked femmes#and they always described me as a fem. because that's what i showed her. because i wanted to be with her.#but lowkey whenever i'm in a not-impressing-anyone raw-dogging-life-no-crush era i always resort to a very masc style#like masc being my default and i'd only lean fem to impress people whether it's for love or peer pressure in a specific setting#like ''dressing up'' has always been a form of drag to me. like something i HAD to do to fit in or impress my parents (scott favor core)#but ever since this haircut i've realized... i could just BE masc innately like i really don't have to be womanly if i don't want to#which i usually don't. again i have only ever dressed fem for other people. but it's not even being masc that attracts me on its own#it's like. being masc in a distinctly lesbian way. as in whenever i look in the mirror i don't wanna be like a Guy i wanna be a dyke.#like lesbian as a gender identity too sort of thing honestly. okay i've been waffling but basically i sort of want to call myself butch#but i don't know if i like... can?? if i'm allowed to???#everyone always says it's MORE than just wearing boy clothes and not wearing makeup and having short hair (which i already do all those)#i mean i've always id'd as genderqueer because it literally just means gender weird and i experience gender in a queer way#what's probably the most telling is that my friends (all queer) CALL me a butch lesbian#like every time they do i feel really internally validated. it's not just my clothes but my personality too ig is what people tell me#i have a higher pitched voice relatively speaking but apparently the way i talk is quote ''very clockably into women''#which?? gender euphoria asf. my best friend specifically he (gay trans guy) always uses butch to describe me very intuitively#people have also noticed that i ''transitioned'' in all aspects except hormonally. like ppl have commented and noticed my masculinzation#but at the same time i always feel rly haunted by my ex relationships because one wanted me to be more masc#(she's the one who came out as straight and would treat me like a man) which i didn't like and i didn't like playing up being fem either#bc now it feels like she (butch) won't believe me if i called myself butch too bc she remembers me being femme#idk i feel like there's her voice in my head all the time that sees everything i do through her eyes (i'm lowkey still in love)#i feel like even though this comes so naturally to me i must be putting on a performance#even though i've actually read stone butch blues and done research into the history and i truly love and id with the culture like i rly do#that im still just a sad imitation of a butch lesbian and can never really be a part of it because i used to enjoy dressing up sometimes#like it's so stupid but can i still be butch if i wore a dress to prom and i think i looked good in it??#even though i was envious of my friends who wore suits?? that i used to try goth makeup?? that i liked long dresses??#that i enjoyed stacked necklaces and rings on every finger???#and tbh ALL OF THAT CAME FROM A CONCIOUS EFFORT TO FEMINIZE MYSELF IN JUNIOR YEAR OF HIGHSCHOOL WHEN I WAS 16#because omfg it was 2 months before junior prom and i was worried that i was too masc and wanted to get comfortable with being fem
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sonknuxadow · 26 days
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i dont particularly care for sonelise and i do think that elise kissing sonic was kinda weird and unnecessary and i dont think its bad for people to express this opinion but god i cant stand the "sonic made out with a human in sonic 06" jokes because for one theyre overdone and beating a dead horse but also thats such a huge exaggeration of what actually happened have none of you actually watched that cutscene
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regallibellbright · 1 year
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Meanwhile, over in G-Witch, Prospera continues to be fucking terrifying.
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todayisafridaynight · 7 months
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thinking of the very likely possibility there are true crime channels in the rgg universe and one (1) person has probably looked into masato's ''''''death'''''. for shits and giggles of course.
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dimiclaudeblaigan · 6 months
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Honestly though, this (what Ashe is pointing out) is exactly why I don't think GW could possibly end well. There's no "talking it over" after all the bloodshed (especially bloodshed started by them, and especially bloodshed started by them that didn't have to happen).
The way the narration leaves it "open" too at the end of GW just comes across as "it failed". It feels like... a kind of pointless story?
And I know some people might think that since Dimitri personally isn't as deeply affected by losing Matthias and so might be willing, that's still no good if his people and closest allies aren't. Rodrigue and Sylvain wouldn't be so forgiving, and I do think Dimitri would follow suit because that's his father (Rodrigue)'s closest friend and one of his own closest friends' father.
Add that to the fact that they have Sreng to deal with still (and I imagine sooner or Sylvain would figure out that Leicester had a hand in provoking Sreng to attack Faerghus) on top of losing Matthias and I imagine all the stress and aggravation wouldn't bode well for Leicester as far as Claude's thinking of things working out goes.
I just really can't see where GW goes afterward that would be "good" or works in Claude's favor at all. Maybe that was the intention and it was meant to be a route with a completely tragic ending, but apparently there are players who think it would end well and whatnot and I just can't see that happening (both from Faerghus' end and from Adrestia's end, the latter of which Claude discussed within GW itself).
If their intention was for a totally tragic ending, like yeah, I can see that... but as always the writing muddies the waters to make it sound good while something bad is happening. It keeps trying to have a positive spin on bad things as if they're just afraid to commit to a fully bad ending.
#DCB Three Hopes Run#also to be specific the reason I just call Rodrigue his father outright is bc he refers to him as a “second father” in Houses#but I'm not gonna literally write “his second father” every time I mention it and honestly “adoptive father” doesn't work for me either#bc him being an adoptive sort of parent doesn't make the fact that he /is/ a parent to him any less valid#like a parent is a parent and I don't feel the need to point that out and the feeling is mutual between them#if Rodrigue is literally calling him ''my boy'' it's a pretty cut and dry parent/child relationship#obviously I'm using Houses context in this case but it's still accurate in Hopes#and I just can't see losing Matthias going over smoothly at all and things getting better with time#I mean Matthias is such a major player in Faerghus and so important that I just can't see them being like#well it was only /one/ important bigwig who died. like no it was one important bigwig saving a whole lot of lives#who is also very intelligent and has a deep say in politics. that's ofc not counting#as Ashe says here in AM in reference to Adrestia that they've killed so much on both sides bc of the war#that he can't imagine just sitting and talking now. just because we as players only saw one named character die#and just because that character wasn't a playable character nor a returning character we already knew and loved#doesn't mean hundreds if not thousands more didn't die in Leicester's invasion#like Ashe says here I just don't see how both sides could sit and talk after all that#esp since Sylvain would prob be involved and uh... Sylvain is... a very emotional and angry person#and extremely vengeful (and they rly leaned into that side of him in Hopes in all routes)#I canNOT imagine talks with him involved not getting heated and aggressive#and he'd /have/ to be there bc he's the Margrave now in GW. if they want to have important talks like that#they need all their major players which like even if Felix say wasn't there#Rodrigue has basically equal authority as Felix bc Rodrigue has the respect of experience and has proven himself#so they could be swapped out for talks and Felix being the ''official'' Duke wouldn't affect talks in the least#if Rodrigue was/had to be present instead. with Sylvain you've either got no other options#or you've got Miklan who I can't imagine would want to even get involved with all of that#both bc of his mixed feelings on Matthias but also bc he's been out of the political atmosphere for so long#so yeah I uh... can't... see talks ever going well unless Claude legitimately makes amends somehow#or Houses Claude gets in there smacks him around and fixes some shit before heading back to his own verse lol
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munamania · 4 months
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ok im a really chill and normal person and i get over things and am well adjusted but take a walk with me here. just give me my time to complain when im not in the absolute fucking trenches. and yes i believe i suffered more than those in trench warfare. it was literally a lesbian situationship with a bistraight girl come on. just. magenta choppy shag with the roots coming in. camo cargo pants black t shirt with red lettering and striped long sleeve (sign someone likes music. confirmed). lip ring big black stud earrings and nails. red docs. i think lesbians should be allowed to kill one dyke baiter in their lifetime idc
#and now we're gonna get into some quiet parts and youre just gonna let me have this#i. am so sick. first of all it was kinda funny how people ik ended up sorta surrounding her. felt good. but like we've shared a space#together since everything. i can like be in her presence it's seriously fine. that said. i do sometimes miss her#i say this after going through the really hating her guts period bc of her evil evil evil ways. and feeling like she's lame as hell bc she#s. but i mean it's me talking i have my problems too. i Hate the way we always so naturally act in sync. and i hate that we've both picked#each others' brains for hours so it's like. i knew you once and now we can't even look each other in the eye and that just really sucks#and i feel like. not that i strictly believe in these things. but we were sort of twin flames. i largely suffered for like. basically#falling in love w her. and i know i didn't leave as much of a mark. but i still hope it sucked a little for her#and i'll admit i think it'd be some sort of miracle if we could ever talk civilly. unfortunately we work in two ways#literally behaving in Ways and borderline fucking or not speaking. so. here we are#and i already humiliatingly tried to extend an olive branch this summer so im not gonna be fucking stupid. yk#but GOD how annoying. i did talk to situationship today and we were relatively normal so at least that's not deathly awkward#it's still. definitely um. stiff. but not terrible#i need to get to the club. pretend theres a cig emoji im on desktop rn#sorry for this.#film girl saga
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daz4i · 2 months
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how to stop thinking any good thing someone says to you (like compliments or being proud of you or other positive expressions such as these) is a lie just to be polite or bc they're biased and thus can't judge you work and your being objectively bc they love you. asking for a friend
#lovebombing won't work on me i will automatically assume there is an ulterior motive there#i may be off on what it is. but i won't trust it either anyway#(joking btw ik i'm not immune to abuse tactics. that's actually part of why i'm vigilant to all that i think)#(but not only)#i think my main issue is i know in my heart these things can't be right. the bigger the compliment the less i believe it#bc i'm below average and so is anything i create. propping it (and me) up as smth unique feels disingenuous#in my heart i do want this like i wanna be told nice things but they usually make me feel worse lol#bc i still think i'm shit and now i feel like i can't trust that person either.#(still. if someone is mean to me or even just harsh instead. i will cry)#also while this is already very deep and digging into my core the next tags are gonna dig into therapy level deepness lol#i think this is actually why i only want ppl to be sexually attracted to me honestly#smth abt it being like. a physical reaction. makes it easier to believe for me#also smth you can express smth you can do to prove it beyond just saying words#(i will sometimes still doubt it when i have a steady partner of any sort lol like i'll ask if they just indulge me or actually want it)#which is why it's fucking me up sm that i'm getting uglier 🥲 i'm already not great - being trans and fat limits a lot of your options - but#things are getting even worse lol 🥲 who knew that was even possible#all this isn't really a very good base to stop hating yourself. so my self loathing is only getting worse every day#thus making any good word harder to believe. and the cycle continues#. yknow when i started typing this post i did not expect to go on for this long#i am on these sleeping pills that make me lose my filter i'm sorry 😔#vent
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megullumverrr · 2 months
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me looking up the lyrics to coin locker baby
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lordiavolo · 1 year
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to be like frank here, redemption is an ever going cycle. when youve been the problem, the toxic ex, the abuser, you have to know you will have to apologize for that for the rest of your life. you will always have to live with the guilt and conscience of knowing how you hurt that person, or mutliple people. and you have to constantly CHOOSE to not repeat that behavior, and its not easy.
when you meet a new friend the topic of who you used to be will come up eventually, and if you have changed youll be honest with who you were. you cant run from it. you cant try to round the corners and make it seem like the other persons fault, or like it wasnt as bad as it was. its really really scary. because everytime you open up about it, its not just the wound of guilt but its also the fear that theyre going to look inside and not like what theyll see.
but you have to keep moving on and you have to keep being honest. and you have to remember that everyone is applicaple for redemption, you just have to work for it and admitting you were wrong with no buts is the first step.
#anyways cna u tell im kinda going thru it LOL#ive always been a toxic person thats why ive sort of secluded myself from society i avoid human contact w non household members as much as#possible bcuz i feel honestly like im a ticking time bomb that just hurts everything i touch#i dont think its fair to have to have someone deal w my shit when its such an emotional turmoil so even though i want friends im making my#peace w the fact that i like honestl dont really deserve rhem? ik this seems MOPEY but its like this is my geniune non like baiting thoughts#i was an abuser in high school and in an abusive relationship where for the first half i was the perpetrator. i hit my ex and u know i dont#even have anything to add to it other than it was fucked up. i was selfish in bed and sex addicted and sometimes did anything for my fix.#i will and cannot lie about my past as being a shitty person. its scary to say and post but i have to be honest thats who i was that IS a#part of my history as much as i wish i could i cannot erase.#i dont rly even know what to add here honestly. just watching mias vid got me thinking u know#there is more to this story ofc the same ex i was abusive to was also abusive to me it was just split into segments. like i was the problem#for the first year and a half then it switched to them but its not rly rhe best place 2 share that story when im talking about my mistakes#im not trying to detract here i just want 2 get this shit off my chest again. ive talked about it before but not since remaking a few times#anyways i dont have any excuses well i mean i can pull a bunch out but im not going to cuz at the end of the day i shouldve known better#than to be a bitch when i knew i was being a bitch u know?#being the bad guy is a constant struggle where u will have to really really fucking fight yourself tooth and nail to change and i want to be#that person. i want to be someone who can be 100% honest about how shit i was to myself and others (which i do already do to my friends)#hopefully this makes sense idk anyways if ur struggling with being abusive or toxic im here for u. u can get through this and you can be a#good person it is within ur hands i promise u#ok love u goodnight#personal
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i think the villa diodati speech probably had a big effect on how yaz approached the doctor in flux and after
#not necessarily that it /changed/ how she approached her but like. 13 revealed a Lot abt how she thought abt the dynamic#like the fam were already like......lower down the ranking right? they already let her take the lead they already followed her orders#they werent TRYING to be like on her level like clara they understood very well how the dynamic worked#it was just the doctor that was holding onto the pretense#and i think they knew that but they probably didnt know Why exactly#but villa diodati revealed like a lot of sort of ingrained beliefs#suddenly it makes a lot of sense why shes keeping this hierarchy even if they dont know the details theyre all intuitive enough to get it#and that recontextualises the pretense too. it recontextualises the pretense in that like#okay so what she Says and what she Does keep not matching up. and what she Does is now-evidently trauma informed#so what she Says must be - well not Must be but with the rest of the context they have - what she would Like to be true#it's not they all know it's not but she really wants that to be true#i think that really informed how yaz approached the doctor afterward and maybe paradoxically helped them become way more of a team in flux#the doctor is still in charge but if yaz approaches her with the understanding that she needs to be in charge#then that creates the safety needed for the doctor to let yaz in a little bit#and i think thats also why yaz didnt push in sea devils - i mean lots of reasons obvs but#'i want to but i cant' is like. yaz has Seen that. yaz has seen what that looks like she understands what that means. very lived in#she has lived in the doctor's 'i want to but i cant'#idk am i making sense#i think that speech was a revelation and actually kinda helpful. after she got over the shock and hurt of it
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starsandthorn · 5 months
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read through all of neuvillette's stories on the wiki and. what do you MEAN people were right about him giving furina her vision
#personal stuff#delete later#KIND OF. sort of.#man i love getting vision and celestia lore like AUGH. gnaws on it forever#but yea really interesting to me. neuvillette has the power and authority that the hydro throne had#so he can portion off bits of his power and hand them out in the form of visions like the heavens did#the WORDING is really interesting to me though. like specifically talking about the Heavens and the Seven Archons#like this implies that the Thrones in celestia are responsible for handing out visions instead of the individual gods#which we already knew from ei's voiceline about electro visions not getting handed out. what was up with that btw#CANNOT wait for snezhnaya where we find out what the hell a gnosis actually is and does and why the fatui's collecting them#if they seemingly have no influence on an archon's authority or seat in celestia and only act as a connection to the heavens#like the hydro throne is gone. it's super gone. but the hydro gnosis is still. around. and apparently performing whatever task gnoses do#for arlecchino to still. want it.#also all of the archons being so flippant about their gnoses. do they know they're made from some dead guy's corpse do you think#venti didn't fight back when his was being taken zhongli and nahida traded theirs and ei literally just didn't care#god. REALLY interesting. also the line near the end of his ''vision'' story abt vision holders is so fucking ominous#''and when one so gifted completed their duty...the gift the gods would receive in return would be more abundant still''#HUH. EXCUSE ME.#like. allogenes as investments for elemental power? is that what we're getting at?#still wondering what the hell happened to vennessa. can we get some information on what ascending to celestia means. please
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sinlizards · 2 years
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Hi! I wanted to ask about AI the Somnium Files. I absolutely love your art and found you through your Ace Attorney art, but I love all your art and your style too! I saw you've been doing art from some of the characters and I'm so curious! Where could I get it? Or is their gameplay of it somewhere? What's it about?
super late to this my apologies! but to answer your questions: AITSF is a mystery visual novel surrounding a serial killing case which you solve as Kaname Date, a special agent who is able to go into peoples dreams and investigate them. There's probably better pitches out there on the game than i can make, but honestly i found it really fun to go in blind! that being said, I recommend checking out this warning list if you are sensitive to certain imagery/topics
right now i believe? you can get it on most platforms including pc (apparently its on sale on steam right now till the 19th woo) but theres also plenty of playthroughs with both the english and the japanese voices on youtube
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jonathanrook · 7 months
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okay but the problem is. and the reason i don't actually id as ace. is that i have. ya'know. been sexually attracted to people before. two. to be specific.
#okay so in hs i thought i was demi which ik is on the ace spectrum#but there were some flaws in that logic. those namely being. i had never actually been attracted to someone before.#in hs okay. you need to hear me out on this. in hs i was doing like. compulsive bisexuality??#i figured out i was queer but didn't know how really so i was randomly picking all sorts of crushes. not just guys like anyone.#which is why fun fact to this day i still don't know how many people i've actually ever had a crush on lmao bc i'd even lie in my diaries#but i know some of them were real but it was just like. a little romantic attraction.#and everyone i had a crush on (real or fake for the most part) i was friends w so demi whatever.#BUT THEN. 2019. the unthinkable happens. dan howell comes out and i realize i'm a dyke.#it didn't actually happen exactly in that order but it's funnier to explain it that way.#anyway. like a week later i met the second hottest person i've ever seen in my life ever.#side note i'd already met the hottest but i have Sieve Brain and i genuinely don't remember how that went at all in the slightest#so the second hottest will have to do as my point of reference forgive me#anyway before i even knew her name. Salivating. insane.#and to this day i've still only been attracted to those two people. not even celebrities.#i don't know what “celebrity crush” means and at this point i'm too afraid to ask.#but i feel like i'm fairly old to have only wanted to. like. fuck two people. that seems like a low number. i don't know how this works.#and it's not demi if i didn't get to know them first right?#ace people explain y'all are smarter than me real#but it literally is still like i don't understand you people and your. sex. why are you like that.#rachel rants
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quibbs126 · 2 years
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Actually, speaking of Claire, another thing that kind of bothered me is how 3 separate characters were in love with her
Like, okay, she was Hershel’s girlfriend. Aight. Oh, Don Paolo had a thing for her too and that’s why he hates Layton? I mean all right, I can see that for Don Paolo. But then you tell me Dimitri also was in love with Claire, and this starts to feel a bit weird. Like I’m not saying someone can’t have three people in love with them, just look at Lucy in Dracula; it’s just that we have three characters here motivated by their love for one lady, and I feel like that’s a bit too many
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