#i might take notes as i go... my own da references

[symphorine]

ok my goal for the year. is read the dragon age books For The Lore even tho i found gaiders writing in the stolen throne really fucking boring. and then replay all the games (after modding them bc modding games is one of my greatest joys it turns out)

[martuzzio]

HERMITCRAFT CATCHPHRASES

Hi, here's a (hopefully comprehensive) reference list of hermit catchphrases! The main goal here is to help writers and artists who (like me) might struggle with getting the characterization of some hermits right. Check out more info at the end of the post!

Note: this list updates a lot whenever I get new suggestions, which means reblogs aren't always fully accurate. I've linked this post to the top of my blog so it's easy to access the most recent version :)

Bdubs Shreep / uh-oh, gotta shreep! Crastle I love ya to death It’s gorgee Beyootiful Uh oh! Hell’s blazes! Hawsies YOU'LL SPEAK WHEN SPOKEN TO! Shuddup! Judas priest! Bdubs' PERFECT REDSTONE!! What in the world! Holy cow! Nuh-uh! Hoimycraaaaaf Whimsy Trying my heart out

Beef EEskall That was my nickname in college! Nailed it! Dangit! Beefy Tunes Smelly Etho Opulent Etho? Oh, yeah, I own him Eyy, I go up and I go down. Ladders! / Eyy, ladders! Beef taught Etho about redstone Oh my goodness! Oh boy! What the heck Oh, baby! Quote unquote A ton of __

Cleo Class dismissed! I don’t need your stinky torches I will break your legs Trash is fish The answer to everything is leather pants Not because it’s the sand castle you deserve, but it’s the sand castle I need! What did you do, Joe…. It's FINE, everything's FINE Lovely Silly I mean... Not gonna lie... To be fair...

Cub DA CREAMADA CROP Alright guys Nice, nice Ladies and gentlemen / ladies and gentlemen, we got ‘em Eeeeasy money Beautiful, absolutely beautiful Mmmmmhmmmmmm Holy smokes Let's goooo! Sweet Oh, baby! Man, oh man Without further ado Peace out Cheers / cheers, man There's some heat coming off that thing

Doc Are you kidding me now? Alright guys Can’t touch this The G.O.A.T. Etho, get to the damn land man! It all started when Grian touched my redstone… Epic

Etho Uh-huh Like-a so Oh snap Get your snacks! Holy smokes! Take care, have a good day, bye bye Aww snappers! Aww yeah Von Sway I barely know ‘er! Speaking of llamas Bright blue bamboo E. to the T. to the your mum Beefaroni / Beefers Speaking of llamas… That’s what she said! Free glass Eyy, I go up and I go down. Ladders! / Eyy, ladders! Suckerrrr! Check it out

False Blimey Awh dude Frick False Supremacy Oh my goodness I don't know about you guys, but... Props to __ I'm not gonna lie...

Gem Gem is great Her [name] is [adjective]! Gem will __ ("Gem will watch Impulse") Perfect! Epic It's true, I swear! Not gonna lie... Oh gosh! Trust the process Nailed it!

Grian Hello! My name is Grian Good… byeeeee! Pesky bird My heart! My little heart! Mumbo Mumbo you are AFK Can we just agree that Mumbo loses? What in Queen Elizabeth’s shiny crown was that? It wasn't me, it was the man in the chicken costume! SaAaaaAaAnd Chobblesome SCAR NO— / NO SCAR— In theory… Electric boogalooo What does this button do? What on earth? This is in shambles Get outta here! Hear me out... We don't have __. What we DO have is __ Just straight up Without further ado Crack on Bingo bango Yes. 100%

Hypno Right, right Mmhmm You guys Dang guy

Impulse What’s goin on everyone? Shovel Shuffle BEHIND YOU GEM! Peeps Geez Let's goooo! Are you kidding me? Oh, man Now we're talkin'! Holy smokes Oh my gosh How cool is that? Jeez! Dang it! Buddy Presi (for present) You bet!

Iskall Hallo -skall ("richskall") That’s mega / that’s looking absolutely mega Omega “Excuse me? Sir?” __ of doom Okay, lol And I will see you dudes in the next episode I’ve had a realization Oh for goodness sake! It’s not fat, it’s big-boned Not gonna lie SaAaaaAaAnd Very fine Great success! Bird poop Bumbo Cactoni Do you even bust? / Do you even bust bro E Pag

Jevin Hypno smells! Oh my god Sucker What the heck Dude Man I swear

Joe Howdy y’all! That’s the Joe Hills difference! I will now say a poem of my own devising Core concept Keep adventurin’! Time skip! Who’s the guy who conquers death? That’s Joe Hills No not rage quitting I have to pick up my daughter from school or my wife will rage quit me! Grow Hills / Expand Joe Joepacity / Jhost

Keralis Look into my eyes and nothing but my eyes Wanna buy a book? Spank you very much Just sit back, relax, and enjoy Like this, like that I can see my house from here! Bubbles, Shashwammy, Sweetface, Princess Lookie lookie at my cookie / lookie lookie at my cookie… no, please don’t Like-a so I love your face I’m a real boy! I don’t k-nove (know) Not like this! Booshes Clever girl But first… lemme take a selfie I’m sinking… mayday mayday we’re sinking! Hallo yes dis is de German coast guard what are you sinking about? Scary harry larry I’m alayve! Breathtaking — no you’re breathtaking Mm-kay Oh behave I’m a simple man MeOOOow Welcome to my humble abod-ee Not too shabby My face! My palms are sweaty, mom’s spaghetti Tag 2 Booga Booga Stiffy nipples Batman! First I was afraid, I was petrified...

Mumbo I worry about myself sometimes I'm not really quite sure if I like that or not Yeah… yeah that's looking good… I guess… Dude! Chuffed to bits It’s a bit pants I’m such a spoon Oh my word It’s quite simple, really / it’s actually quite simple Bonkers I’ll catch you in the next one. See ya Off you pop Oh goodness me! Hermit challenges — initiation! All done and dusted To be frankly honest Seriously seriously cool Absolutely nuts I don’t even know what to say Iskall I feel sick Peace, love, and plants Moon’s big Mumbo for Mayor Quite simple

Pearl Lovely Bonkers At this point... Cheeky / you cheeky What's this? Mate

Ren Now we’re cooking with gas / we be cooking with gas today Ladies, get in line! / ladies, gentlemen, everybody get in line! You picking up what I’m putting down My dudes Y’know what I’m sayin’ Coming atcha frommmmmm Dude Coming from left, right, and center Greetings cyberdogs and citizens of the Interwebs, this is Ren-diggity-dog comin at ya in another episode from the Hermitcraft server (ey!) Automagically Jazztastic Janktastic Oh baby Like nobody’s business Looking absolutely magnificent Anyhoozle Twaddle Renstone The Octagon is a well-oiled machine! [word]-age [word]-ation [word]-i (to make things plural You love / hate to see it I'm just sayin' / if you know what I'm sayin' Professional __ Jazz Anyhoozle Exqueeze me? Freakin' Some serious __ What's happenin', baby? Chesticles

Scar Scarred for life Woah, what in the world! It’s gonna be am-ay-zing LOOK at the siiiiize of that Well, hello there my fellow miners and crafters, GoodTimesWithScar here. Welcome back to the wonderful world of Hermits and crafting Don’t forget to subscribe or you might just become scarrrred for life! Looking super fancy Let’s hit super fast build mode! Look at the size of that Appreciate ya Hotguy! Operation: Aquathunder! That’s what she said! Rapscallion You silly goose Oh, sweet baby Jellie! Bayum! / Bam! The bee's knees Easy peasy, orangey squeezy

Stress Are you havin’ a giggle? / are you takin the mic? Mate Oh my god / oh my gosh / oh my good gordons Gorgeous Plonker Geezer Ohhhhh nooooo! Yeeeesshhh I legged it Such a pro / I'm such a pro Proper __ Cheeky Bloke Thingamajig Ain't [word]-age [word]-ies

Tango Happy fun sauce -ificator, -inator, -ness, -tastic Skadoodle Fearsome bunny slippers Noob juice So here’s the deal Holding shift Shwoop Flim flam Poop came out Extra dumb with dumb sauce / __ of extra dumb Flee with extra flee! / fleeing with terror! Boom booms Gah! The dungeon is ready for its next victim Behold! Results may vary! I think my math is correct, but it’s been known to be wrong This is the worst timeline. I hate everything Big no! You— you freak of nature! Jerkface Jerkbutt Excellent How embarassing This is true Zombert Bits This I gotta see! Right in the face! [word] is happening Yeah baby! Stupid jerks Boop This is the best / worst thing ever! Niner niner niner [general unintelligible noises]

TFC What in tarnation! Crap-tacular Humongous Butt-ugly Ugly as sin Oh, goody Ender-twits Bugger Oh, fart For crying out loud

Wels Words are hard If you will Super __

xB Aww yeah Mmkay Son of a biscuit Pretty frickin' __ Man Get frickin' wrecked! Chestacle Dang it Staaph it Oy vey Crap on a cracker Dang it, Bobby! Dang guy

Xisuma Oh goodness me Oh dangit Geez Peeps I’m such a derp Oh my days Chooturial Issooma Allo Woa’ah Brought (instead of bought) My dude Achacha

Zed Hello hello hello A-good a-bye Muckin' about I lied TaaaAAnnGoOOooooOOOo Hu-jah! Pretty darn __ Certainly Rubbish I'm [word]-ing [word] me [word]-iness What happens is... Get kersplatted! Epic Oh my goodness!

More Info

So I'm currently writing a HC fic and realized how little I know about some of the hermits (I unfortunately don't have time to watch all of them), which made it really difficult to depict them properly in my writing. I'm assuming at least some of you might also struggle with this, so, here we are!

If you know of a catchphrase from any hermit from any season, comment, reblog, send me a an ask or dm, dm me on discord, whatever works the best :D

Note: when I say "catchphrase," I mean anything a hermit repeats over an extended period of time. It can be something said during a single season (like "You'll speak when spoken to!" or "Hermit Challenges!"), or something that spans their entire careers (like "Aww snappers!" or "Plonker"). I'm not looking for one-off quotes that are never bought up again — there's some great sources (like @hermitcraft-correct-quotes) for that already :)

Sources (which will hopefully expand with time): This reddit post from four years ago This other reddit post also from four years ago Reddit from three years ago This cute diagram A more up to date source Another Xisuma's dictionary on his website HC character tv tropes page This incredible google doc

[knightfcll]

nightcap

welt x reader, 1.6k

note: 🤪 im like not even caught up but i love this gilf tew much okay bye. My first reader fic on da blog, blease be nice 2 me <3

content notes: ❗️❗️🔞🔞🔞❗️❗️ explicit smut here, minors do NOT interact!!! Reader is gender neutral, no specific references to pronouns/body type/genitalia for reader, brief oral sex, penetrative sex, reader calls welt “mr yang” a lot 🥴

The Astral Express is quiet. You've finally returned after another long and difficult journey on another strange, new planet. Everyone else has retired to their own rooms for a well deserved rest, but you still wander the halls. Mr. Yang had stayed behind for this assignment and to say that you felt his absence was an understatement.

You had lasted all of five minutes in your own bed before throwing off the covers and deciding to seek him out. Without the exhaustion of adventure weighing him down, he's likely still awake, perhaps poring over a newspaper from your latest excursion. You make sure to bring one back for him if he's not there; he says it's so he can get a better idea of what effect the Stellaron's had on the planet, but you see how quickly he turns to the comic strips. You'll catch him doodling the characters later, sometimes changing their features, doing two and three different sketches that he thinks you won't see.

You're only half right. You find him almost exactly as you'd imagined when you slip into his room, except his brows are furrowed. He's tapping a pencil against the paper.

“Need any help, Mr. Yang?”

He looks at you briefly before returning to his crossword puzzle. "Evening. And yes."

You smile and saunter towards him, crawling onto the bed eagerly. He opens his arms without prompting, allowing you to settle into his lap with your back to his chest. He has most of it filled out already, with only the bottom left grid glaringly empty. Mr. Yang is one of the smartest people, which is why you like to tease him when he has to ask you for help with these things, but he's also the most mature, which accounts for the good natured chuckle you typically get in response.

"What's the clue?"

"Eight letters. 'Hot term for a recent admirer.'"

You make a show of scrunching up your face and delicately take the pencil from him. Your handwriting isn't quite as neat as his, but finds a certain charm in it.

Welt hums appreciatively. "'New flame.' I think you could be right."

You beam. "Bested by the newcomer, Mr. Yang. You'll have to ask me to explain strange things out in the wild next time we leave the Express."

He chuckles. He thinks it's cute when you try to tease him like this; you're all bark and no bite, really. You fold as soon as he gets his hands on you.

Like right now, as his fingers ghost over your thigh. You lean into it as much as you can, but he's so good at holding back. It's the sweet sting of having someone like Welt for a lover: a wealth of experience to keep you satisfied for hours on end, but the patience and precision needed to keep you just on edge until he thinks you're ready.

"Did you need something?" He says it so casually, like he doesn't know your skin is burning underneath him.

You turn your head to look at him. It's there again, that little bit of sharpness in his gaze that seems to go right through you. He's already thinking about all the ways he can unmake you.

"Just you," you say, waiting the precious few moments it takes for the spark to ignite.

Welt kisses you, softly at first. His hands roam over your thighs, just ghosting underneath your sleep shorts. You whine the third time he does it, unable to handle the loss of his touch. He pulls away.

“Patience.”

You pout. He notices everything. “I’m not impatient.”

He humphs in disbelief. “Don’t make a sound until I tell you to.”

Any other night, you might protest his rigidity. Be the brat he likes you to be, until you’re a sobbing mess in hands, begging him to just fuck you and stop teasing. Tonight, however, you’re inclined towards obedience. You hush up and wait the agonizing few moments that he waits, watching for any sign of defiance. Satisfied, he kisses you again, hungrier this time, sliding his tongue over yours. You hold back a moan when he digs his fingers into your thighs.

Welt pushes you down. He trails his lips down your body, over your chest, your sensitive nipples. He halts just below your belly button, kissing the skin lightly while he pulls down your shorts. You shiver once your exposed to the cool air.

Anticipation burns inside you when he pulls your leg up and over his shoulder. He slowly teases your entrance with his tongue, giving it slow, featherlight licks that he soon follows up with a finger.

“Mr. Yang,” you say, unable to resist calling out as he speeds up.

He doesn’t respond, choosing to punish you instead by letting up. He knows it’s agony, feeling his warm breath on you where you need him most.

It’s too much. You give up on obedience and let desperation take hold as you grab at welt’s shoulders and pull him in to kiss you. Your taste lingers on his tongue. “Mr. Yang, please…“

Welt palms at your ass. It’s a nice reminder that he’s far more affected by you than he typically comes off. Although his words are often measured and his tone even, the way he touches you is nothing short of ravenous.

“Tell me what you need, sweetheart.”

You’re on the brink of tears now. Your legs are locked around his hips, his fingers are rubbing and pinching your nipple. He knows, but he likes to make you say it. “Mr. Yang, please, please,”

He doesn’t budge. You reach for the drawstring on his pants yourself, but he grabs your hand and brings it to his mouth instead. “You can speak, can’t you? Use your words.”

You watch as he pulls your finger into his mouth, sucking on it lightly. He’ll keep going, ignoring your pleas while he toys with you long past the rising of the sun. He’s done it before.

You draw a shaky breath.

“Mr. Yang, I need you inside me.”

You wait for his response. He almost looks bored, that half-awake look he gets when he’s quizzing you on the values of each Aeon with hands roaming across your chest.

He kisses your palm. “Keep going.”

“Welt,” his given name falls from your lips, a strained whisper that sets Welt on edge, “please fuck me, I can’t take it anymore, please.“

Welt lets go of your hand. He disentangles himself from you fully, ignoring your desperate whines. You hear his pants fall to the floor and then he’s hovering over you again, sliding a hand under your shoulder.

“Turn around.”

You hear him, but you’re too distracted by the sight of his weeping cock to really pay attention. He sighs and gently lifts you, maneuvering you so you’re on your hands and knees with your back to him.

Tears of relief fall down your face when Welt drapes himself over your back. You feel him lining himself up with your entrance. You shudder when he finally enters you. His grip on your waist tightens. He lets his cock stay sheathed in you for an agonizing moment before he pulls out and starts to set a rhythm. The slow friction stirs something in Welt; he lets go of your waist and covers your hand with his own. He curses above you and moves in closer, his breath warm against the shell of your ear.

“I want to hear you. Please,” Welt gasps. It makes your heart skip.

You call out to him, moaning his name in a quiet voice that gets louder and louder as his thrusts quicken. Your words become more frantic, endless declarations of how much you need him interrupted by broken sobs of pleasure. Welt speaks your name, too, in between ragged breaths and the rapid stuttering of his hips, curses falling from his lips in a constant prayer.

“Mr. Yang,” you say, because you know how his breathing stops when you call him that, just like the first time it did when he had you on your knees in his bedroom, “Mr. Yang, I love you.”

Welt’s final thread of composure snaps. He hooks his arm around your throat and buried his face in your neck. His hips slap against you harder than before, but he still has the presence of mind to reach down and tease you one last time to put you over the edge. Waves of ecstasy roll through as you give one final, strangled shout.

Welt follows soon after, his thrusts becoming increasingly erratic until he buries himself to the hilt and groans deep into your skin. You both slump forward, breathing heavily. He kisses your neck sloppily before finally pulling out with a sigh. He pulls you once to get you to clean up, but you don’t budge, a telltale look of bliss on your face. He gives up and leaves you, returning with clean cloths to wipe you down. You watch him from the corner of your eye as he flips you onto your back and takes care of you.

“Thanks, Welt.”

He smiles softly, but doesn’t look at you, focused on his task. He climbs back into the bed once he’s done, flat on his back. You lean over and rest your head on his chest.

Exhaustion weighs you down suddenly. Even though you left the mission early to see Welt, the trip back to the express hadn’t been easy. It feels like you’ll drift off into sleep as soon as you close your eyes. So you do, but not before reaching up to kiss Welt just under his chin.

[arataki-neato]

Resident Vidyadhara lore nerd here, I'm typing this all out at 3 in the god damn morning so I might regret this but I wanted to give my take on something I feel like a lot of people might have misunderstood or misinterpreted:

Hatching rebirth is not a cosmetic thing, it's not simply amnesia, it's not a way for Vidyadhara to escape taking accountability for what they did in their past lives, and Dan Heng is not in denial for believing himself to be his own person, distinct from Dan Feng.

There's this document in the alchemy commission you find as part of a quest with a compendium of medicines, and one of those is a treatment that, when administered to young Vidyadhara, allows them to begin to recall their past lives. This is most likely how it's done for High Elders.

However, there's the added stipulation that administering this to someone else without their consent is a punishable offense.

The Vidyadhara have a way of negating the memory loss caused by hatching rebirth, but they don't want it. The process of hatching rebirth and the strict separation between past lives is not only culturally sacred to them, it's an important part of their life cycle. The fact that it's done to High Elders is pretty much a perversion, but it's apparently considered important for the survival of the species.

The reason why is that there's just simply an upper limit to how long someone can comfortably live a single life--Xianzhou natives become Mara struck after about 1000 years, and while there's no real knowledge of what causes it, the general consensus is that their memories accumulate and become too much for them. Hatching rebirth protects them from this, it's an opportunity to rest and renew, to heal from old scars and past traumas, and most importantly, a chance for a fresh start.

Believing themself to be a different person than they were in their past lives is not an attitude unique to Dan Heng, it's consistent with pretty much every Vidyadhara npc you can talk to.

(Chunfen, the reincarnation of a famous Vidyadhara opera singer named Ling Jie, uses Ling Jie's notes as a guide on how to live an exciting life, but still talks about her as if she were someone else who left them for her and not as if they were something she herself had written)

(Jinyu, the Vidyadhara woman whose rebirth cycle is so accelerated she basically becomes a new person every month, has had many short-lived yet passionate love affairs, but she never remembers them and never has any interest in trying to rekindle the relationship)

There's the Vidyadhara Cong, who by chance or fate has ended up falling in love with the same long-life Xianzhou woman in every one of his past reincarnations, which she found romantic at first, but she has grown old and tired and has had to try to let him down gently because she can't force herself to try to fall in love with him again.

There are Vidyadhara who are reluctant to let go of their memories and try to bring keepsakes with them, but the unfortunate fact of the matter is that most of the time, their future self does not attach the same emotional significance to it that they do, and it only ends up being a source of grief and a reminder of what they lost.

When Vidyadhara hatch out of their eggs, they are a child with no memories. Despite not being a true death, it is functionally no different than the death of the old self and the birth of a new one (and Dan Heng sees it this way, too, he even refers to it as his "birth")

And I think that Dan Heng is perfectly justified in not wanting anything to do with Dan Feng or anything related to his past life. All he knows is that ever since he was a child, he has been punished and abused and hunted and despised for something that, from his perspective, he didn't even do.

It's not like what happened with Scaramouche, which I feel like a lot of people are probably comparing it too--If Dan Heng suddenly and with perfect clarity got back all of Dan Feng's memories, it would not make him Dan Feng. They still wouldn't be his memories, and they wouldn't supersede his current life--He would still just be Dan Heng, but with someone else's memories on top. He really is his own person, and he deserves to have his own life to live.

[plznomonkeys]

I cannot add the screenshot but saw your comment about the process of making OCs. please share yours cuz I'm so curious!

I had literally 5k words written out explaining the process and thought 'nobody needs to read that' and just shortened it to point form. It was a lot of rambling......

Anywho

OC's, in my mind, fill a void that I feel a story is missing. I mean, no whole story is necessarily missing something, but it is in my perspective. Usually OC's are born from something I disliked with the original work or felt could've been handled differently.

So the tip of inspiration is a 'What If?' moment.

"What if L had someone on task force -with more than 2 brain cells- on his side?"- Death Note

"What if Naruto had a friend growing up who loved him?" - Naruto

"What if Truth was an even bigger dick and tortured someone's soul through reincarnation until they finally learned to break the cycle?"- FullMetal Alchemist

"What if a main character didn't have a damsel in distress as a love interest?" - Bleach

The what if is the first point to creation. It gives me an anchor of reference, of purpose, to this character. It's not to make them a plot device, but it helps me shape around what the reason for building them is. Everyone needs a purpose to have fulfillment in their lives, even if it's just to feed your cat and water your plants. You have a purpose, so what is my OC's? There's usually a moment in the story that inspires this specific purpose and each one is different.

Great, now that we have a purpose, let's move on.

Part 1: What's the start and ending?

It doesn't matter what the story is yet. To me, what's important is the end of this character's story. Where do they end up? Are they alive? Dead? Did they end up with love interest? Did they succeed in their goals? etc.

Despite how crucial this part might seem, I'm never dead set on it. I have a general idea most of the time.

The point of the ending is to have guidance as to where I'm going with the story line and remind myself that this character is moving in that direction. It can also change once you know your character more and once you have a fully fleshed plot, but again you'll change it likely because it works more with the OC you've created.

Now that you've got an ending, pick a starting point. It can be literally anywhere. It can be another character POV. Beginnings are really easy, just pick a place you want to begin and write a few words. Great, now figure out how this beginning meets that ending. Rough sketch it, when you write it out it'll change and grow, that's perfectly okay. No character is the same at the start and finish, so be aware that change is normal.

Part 2: What's the secret?

Every character that has any level of depth has a secret that is revealed in the story. L's successors was a big one. Naruto's parentage was theorized for years before being confirmed. Aizen's betrayal in Bleach was another. What big secret changes the reader's view on the character? What do the other characters think?

Part 3: How are they compatible with their pairings?

Legit this one comes up early in my mind. If I'm completely honest it has to, as you already have a character that is fully fleshed out and in order to keep them in character then your OC needs to adhere to the canon character's interests IMO. It's the reality of it. Which also means you have to know the canon character really well. Which is where character analysis comes in.

Let's take L for example. While I imagine he's the type to make his partner comfortable regardless of their wants/needs, I also see him as the guy who would legit rather die that admit those feelings at first? Like I subscribe to him being a little autistic and mildly self-degrading when it comes to 'why would they like me?' perspectives.

I say mildly because it's not so much he has no confidence as simply 'I literally have no internal clock, I likely have uncontrolled diabetes and broke my back on my own from sitting like this all day, I will ignore your very existence to finish a case and I literally haven't been home in god knows how long, so why would you ever have feelings for me?' It's illogical for L to entertain the idea of someone feeling that way about him because he simply doesn't fit the profile of a dating candidate. And so he disregards the idea that someone could ever be interested in him. Never mind he'd have to know everything about them down to their god damn SIN number before he'd ever see them in person.

So yeah, L's tough, but not impossible. I could see him with a character who really enamours him. I mean as in a character who thinks so radically different from him that at first he sees it as illogical, but progressively he begins to understand how they tick. I could see him being especially fascinated with someone who is very capable of lying convincingly, and yet wears their heart on their sleeve. I find this type of person to be so opposite and yet so similar at the same time.

Now that you have their OTP.... what other pairings are there? Contrary to the belief system, but there are multiple pairings in every story. Pairings don't have to be romantic, but they must be dynamic. What do other characters think of them? How would they interact with each other? I usually know intuitively who I want my OC to befriend and who they realistically could get along with.

This is, quite literally, the toughest part to flesh out, since I work pretty hard to try and stick to canon.

Part 4: Define your character in one scene?

As I said in the What If? section, each character is born from a specific scene or idea. So what is the scene in the story that defines the entirety of this character? For L I think his defining moment was his lil speech about 'do you really think I do this for justice?' in the manga. It brought into perspective that L was having fun on this case, and when he was 'wrong' about Light his temper tantrum made so much more sense honestly.

Characters need a scene in the story that really lets the reader understand the character on a deeper level and really drives home 'this is a person' even though they're not real it makes them feel raw and real.

Part 5: Motivations

Okay, great, we have so much covered, literally I could probably just go off this and wing the rest. But now we gotta ask why is OC even in the story? Why are they a moving puzzle piece? What made them get to their ending? What did they sacrifice? What's the most important thing to them? Why? Knowing why a person moves is far superior to simply wanting them to move. Why did Light swap the notebooks between shinigami? To keep Ryuk's big mouth away and Rem up close to L. Why did L confront Light at uni? Because he had enough sugar to kill a camel in his system and a gut feeling that Light was Kira and would eventually fold under pressure if he pushed him enough.

Part 6: The Plot

Okay so we've got literally everything necessary. So what's the plot? Is it AU? Partial AU? Canon compliant? Does it just follow canon to a certain point and then go off the rails? Personally I like canon divergent. It holds some points of interest with the original plot but diverges at points only to link up in some spots. I also am a huge fan of making events happen in different time frames.

And now.... where do the OC's affect the story? I mean there's no way that Death Note is a completely unchanged story despite another character being added? Something has changed, so what? Do certain events not occur? Does something better befall certain characters? Something worse?

I am also a stickler for universe rules. I do no bend rules for my characters unless I can come up with a universe compliant reason that it would work. I try to respect the original author's world...... but I will do whatever the hell I want with the characters as long as they're in character.

Part 7: The personal touch

Believe it or not, the appearance of the character is the literal last thing to even cross my mind. Like I legit started writing a Naruto fanfic and realized in 8 chapters I hadn't a clue what she looked like. I had to go to pinterest and make a board, along with a character bio in my notes app. I pic out the height, weight, hairstyle/hair colour, eye shape/eye colour, face, aesthetic, any scars/tattoos they may have and I put it on my notes/pinterest board. Now that I know their story is so I know why they'd have that scar or tattoo. I know why they have that kind of look in their eye. I know everything about them really.

The last bit is mostly spreading this personal touch through the above mentioned steps. It's fleshing it out further, making them more flowing in growth. When did they get the scar? Why that tattoo? Does it affect the story?

Attractiveness is something I debate a lot, and honestly it mostly comes down to plot. If a character needs to be pretty because of the plot I write them as attractive. If they need to be ugly that's what they are. Full disclosure, I see through my OC's eyes when I imagine scenes since I like to write in first person. Meaning I never remember their appearance and always have to review the notes to remind myself what they look like at all.

---

Ok, I think I got everything? So yeah, this is the fuck fest two brain cells can come up with. Keep in mind it is a cyclic mentality and I am perpetually editing and upgrading ideas in my brain. My newest OC to Death Note has literally changed so dramatically in 5 days just by doing this process 3 times that you'd think they were two different characters. It really helps me know my OC's honestly. Do I follow this to the T? Not always, but it is generally the process I subscribe to.

Hope this was a good read, cheers.

Also sorry if I did this wrong I've never posted on tumblr before this year god save my soul

[pikapeppa]

hi!! i've been rereading your fics in all of the veilguard hype and i just wanted to say your writing is just so good, i love your dialogue and characterization, especially how perfectly you write solas! like it really feels so true to how he speaks and carries himself!! so yeah haha just wanted to say happy veilguard summer and ty for sharing your awesome fics with the world!! 🥰 have a nice weekend!

Awww thank you so much!! I love how Dragon Age readers/friends have been poking their heads out of the woodwork and we're all getting in touch with each other again in the hype, IT'S THE CALLING 🤣🤣🤣

I'm so happy that you enjoy the characterizations, especially re: Solas -- he's such a tricky biscuit, so this is the most wonderful praise!! 🥰 Actually, I hope it's okay if I use this ask as an opportunity to plug some of my fics...

Pikapeppa's reading list for refreshing your Dragon Age memory: fic self-recs for those who don't have time to replay Inquisition

(see below the cut for more!)

Lovers In A Dangerous Time: in a nutshell, Fenris is the Inquisitor with Hawke as his wingwoman. This fic is literally a novelization of DA:I with the mindset of "what would Fenris do?" It covers all of Inquisition and touches on every sidequest, and also covers all the DLCs: JOH, Descent, and Trespasser. So if you don't have time to replay Inquisition, you can basically read it here LOL. There is also some theorizing sprinkled throughout about various Big Unanswered Questions™ in Thedas!

The Love That Grows From Violence: this is a Felassan/f!Lavellan romance fic set post-Trespasser. For those who don't know, Felassan is a character in the novel The Masked Empire who was an agent of Fen'Harel, and whom Solas killed at the end of the novel. This fic addresses the questions: 1) what if Felassan was made Tranquil instead of being killed by Solas in the Fade? 2) What if Felassan and a bitter Solasmanced Lavellan fell in love? and 3) what if Felassan actually told us everything that Solas refused to share? This fic is my attempt to pull together the existing lore and meta (with references back to all the original sources) to try to answer as many Big Unanswered Questions™ as I could.

A meta post about the qunari that I put together after reading Tevinter Nights, with my own theories about how Sten might play into things. I also wrote a Sten/f!Mahariel fic that's set immediately post-Origins; it's a romantic tragedy, but it does contain some discusssions about the Qun that may be interesting to refresh our memories about the Qun/the qunari for when Veilguard drops.

A oneshot about Varric and Solas that I wrote after the very first Dreadwolf trailer dropped back in 2020. It seems relevant again now... LOL

Solavellan fic: pure smut and romance. In case you wanted to refresh your memory of how he captivated us in DAI -- or, alternately, if you didn't romance him and want to know why the Solavellans are the way we are LMAO, you can read my take on the romance. 🤣 I have two Solavellan series on AO3: one for my own Elia Lavellan, which has a sad ending, and for Elbenherz's Nare Lavellan, which is "unfinished" in the canon universe, but includes a modern AU with a happy ending.

Beyond that, I have written romance fic for a ton of pairings in Dragon Age if you're just looking for some smut and romance! You can check out all my DA works on AO3, but I've written (M/F) pairings for the following LIs: Fenris, Solas, Abelas, Felassan, Blackwall, Cullen, Samson, Cole, and Sten, and most recently, a little oneshot of Teia and Viago from Tevinter Nights.

Again, Nonny, THANK YOU for your lovely words, and I hope it wasn't weird to hijack this ask for some self-promotion LOL!! Sending you all the love and a happy Veilguard summer!

A QUICK CAUTIONARY NOTE: if anyone does want to chat with me or send me an ask about Veilguard, please do not mention any spoilers from the Game Informer article. I want to go into the game with as few spoilers as possible when it's released, and I'm unhappy that I've already seen spoilers without meaning to. Thanks in advance! 🥰🙏

-- all the love from your friendly neighbourhood Pika! xoxo

[gubbles-owo]

y'all it is hyperfocus scream time

Alright so sporadic Arknights posting is cool and all, but tumble here is THE website for info dumping your weird fascinations unto the world. I worry enough about being annoying or overbearing all the damn time, so fuck it, it's time to scream about something I love. I've always loved music, and I'm fascinated by splitting it apart and studying it, figuring out what makes things tick. One of my favorite ways to do this is via stems-- that is, when a fully mastered track is broken down into audio files for separate instruments or parts: vocals, drums, bass, guitar, synths, all that. This way you get to hear all the lil intricacies you might've otherwise missed! Unfortunately most music out there doesn't have stems just lying around, but sometimes we're graced with the next best thing: instrumentals. There's a lot to it but TL;DR, we can pull some fancy phase shenanigans between a full and instrumental version of a track to isolate the vocals! It's not perfect, there'll be bits of the full mix poking through, but it's enough to catch some cool things you might not have otherwise heard. Buckle up bitches, cause I'm gonna take you for a ride. Today I'm gonna take you through some of the intricacies of one stellar vocal performance: Suisei's TEMPLATE.

Let's get started!

In fear of the boundless wrath of the copyright gods, I don't wanna post any bits of the og or instrumental raw, so I'll reference parts in the original with timestamps like this (0:00)! I highly recommend you first listen to the song in full, then reference the noted segments in the og as we go through the audio examples. I really want you to appreciate how cool this all is xD To give you an idea of what our instrumental phase cancelling sounds like, here's a short bit from verse one (0:15 - 0:25)

Neat, huh? Already we're hearing the slightest touch of reverb that mostly gets buried in the full mix. It's subtle, but it gives a sense of depth and space that'd be noticeable if missing. As far as performance goes, I love the tension of power in this, the swell of intensity followed by reeling it back in. It's subtle at first but it really evolves as the song progresses. Let's dive a bit further. Here's the vocals for the first chorus (0:34 - 0:59)

Alright now we've got some interesting stuff going on. I wanna stress here that Suisei is a phenomenal vocalist, and the sense of careful control over power and projection she's got starts to show here. Specific syllables are thrown out like a gut punch, and just as quickly retract in this delicate weaving of intensity, and it is so goddamn cool. We also get to hear some harmonies that accompany the lead vocals, but they're still a bit buried under that lead. What if I told you there's a way we could further isolate those? Another technical TL;DR but in addition to left and right, we can also split stereo audio into mid and sides. Most modern mixed music will have lead vocals straight up the center, while backing harmonies are either doubled or effected to trickle out to the sides, to give that lead room to breathe. So what does this same chorus sound like if we listen to just the sides?

Okay so right off the bat we hear this harmony that has a graceful snap upwards to its last note. To my extremely limited jp knowledge it's something like: Boku wa zutto kurushi kattan da That kattan da harmony is beautiful in its own right, and it's not something you get to hear on its own. (also if u know better than me plz correct me if i'm wrong on that jp for the love of god) And after that? It turns out the whole chorus has a layer underneath that's sung an octave below the lead. Like. Holy shit. To my limited knowledge I don't know if we ever get to hear Suisei sing this low in isolation, so this is wild to hear on its own. Her tone and inflection is way different here. Notice the power and projection isn't really there, how it's a bit more lowkey? It doesn't get in the way of the powerful lead, and helps round out the bottom end into a wall of sound when combined. You don't notice it much in the full track, but you'd definitely notice its absence. See, often with music I do this hyperfixation thing where I latch onto the tiniest details imaginable and listen to them over and over again, just to appreciate how enormously fucking cool they are. This low octave chorus is no exception. I heard it when first listening to the full track, but it was awesome to finally hear it in (relative) isolation. ...when excitedly showing this all to some friends, one of them said "gubs you are so fucking down bad." And you know what? She was goddamned right.

Moving onto something a lil smaller, there's an additional higher octave for a moment in verse two (1:11 - 1:15)

And the same thing with the sides isolated:

Simple things like this really help add texture and dynamics to a performance. A harmony that persists for an entire song is often more boring than having it weave in and out! It's especially effective in helping to emphasize certain lyrical bits. The 2nd chorus has different lyrics, but from an arrangement standpoint it's mostly the same as the first. Let's fast forward to the start of the bridge (1:42 - 2:01):

This part isn't particularly buried underneath the mix, but I thought it was worth isolating anyway. I really want to point out how beautiful the additional higher melody is in the second half.

Alright, it's time for one of my favorite parts of this track. Let's take a listen to the latter part of the bridge (2:10 - 2:20):

...do you hear that? Do you fucking hear that?? There is something incredible in here. Let's isolate it.

That last line, with the lead taken out of the mix, has not only a harmony sung an octave above, but also an octave below. Holy fuck. Okay. I need you to understand. Being able to sing the same line in 3!! THREE!!! Different octaves! IS FUCKING WILD. For fuck's sake the melody line itself nearly spans an octave in range!? God. My fucking god. I'm sorry for losing my shit over this (not sorry at all) but this demonstrates an incredibly flexible range, and that is not something you'll hear flexed quite as hard as it is here. I've only heard a handful of examples of this sort of thing before. I adore this shit so much. I am such a gay fucking loser oh my g od *ahem* alright let's wrap this up by listening to this fantastic outro segment (2:42 - 3:01):

Personally I tend to dislike when a slowed, half-tempo chorus is replaced by/followed with a full-speed section in an effort to ramp up intensity. Speed doesn't equate to power, and if anything, I feel that a slower feel is often more methodical and powerful. But here? The chorus to this song is sublime, and it feels like all three have been building up this boiling tension that finally explodes in this segment. It's so fucking good. And while she still demonstrates a more than competent grasp on how to project and emphasize, Suisei gets to let lose and go all out here. And for funsies, here's the backing harmony behind that whole segment:

I love shit like this. I cannot sing to save my life (god i wish i could) but over the years I've picked up a lot on how different vocalists construct their backing harmonies. It's not something most people think about, but carefully crafted layered vocals can really enhance, emphasize, and expand on a performance. They add so so much color and personality to an artist's style. Fuck y'all this shit is so cool.

_____________________________ Welp, that wraps it up for this one!! I hope you got to hear and learn something new, maybe pique or cultivate an appreciation for the intricacies that often bury themselves in the mixes you listen to. Or maybe you just thought it was neat, that's fine too xD I'd love to scream more and do similar breakdowns of other songs and vocalists, so I dunno, I may or may not already be plotting another one of these :3c

[madameoni]

My current fave bg3 take is that you can't possibly justify playing durge as a cleric. Specially a good one.

My sweet bhaalbabe, maybe what you're missing is creativity- and reading comprehension.

Bc I ran into that dumb take while looking for inspiration to build Scipio's lore, I'll rant a lil bit down here, might help if you're building your own cleric durge.

From the idea of your durge being a cleric before the crash, not as a whim after losing their memory:

• If you rest right away after the crash you can ask yourself about your race and class. Both hint to a life before the urge, almost forgotten but there. The dragonborn remembers his people (you know their customs and even speak draconic in game), but haven't lived near them in a long time. The cleric feels foolish for praying, it's something done out of habit and it feels ancient. Note that you feel foolish bc your God doesn't answer but:

•God's can't interfere with durge's story. Withers just watches you stumble around, not even the butler can tell you your past bc the higher-ups told him not to. It is very probable that your chosen deity is giving you powers, but not directly answering your calls, because they can't interfere. So you can cast spells in their name, but papa bahamut isn't answering the phone. Your deity would probably hope for your redemption (if good) or your devotion (if evil) and give you power while you find yourself. If you go back to Bhaal- then he is giving you the powers.

•Haven't played but the Paladin storyline hints that it isn't the first time you take and break your oath.

•The butler hints heavily that durge needed guidance often. The worse thing you ever did, for him, was giving a beggar money for no reason. Any hint of mercy was scolded- but they were there. It is perfectly possible that teachings of another God remained either from your past or in search of getting rid of your urges.

•Durge didn't grew up in Bhaals temple, you had a foster family and nice childhood at some point, and you murdered said foster family at a young ("adolescent") age. That leaves your "biological" family, where you learned about your race, and a nice chunk of time to learn your religion. Most clerics start at a very young age, it is perfectly possible you had your teachings at a very young age and they just stuck. Maybe you tried to reconnect during the years as the Urge, but failed spectacularly.

•What I DO wonder is after your super lovely redemption arc, and daddy Withers pulls a fuck you to Bhaal, where you lie there. Because you're referred as faithless, because your father God forsake you. I wonder if that is meant as a you're now in a clean slate. Or you're liberally condemned as a faithless regardless of who you choose to worship afterwards (after all, you don't need to be a cleric to be a worshiper of any god).

Overall- the plot hole of the "ending" applies pretty much to every character that believes in any God, so it isn't a big enough plot hole for me.

Anyway, after coming from DA where we disregard half of the canon to make it work better, having so much canon to work with is a delight.

I think BG3 does a good job of giving you a nice skeleton to build the missing pieces of your durge to your pleasure. Were you a tortured child, lead astray from your path by your evil father? Were you always a monster and your urges simply exploited what already was there? Your choice.

Btw writing your durge to have a good deity and a good past doesn't mean you're erasing the Urge nature. Bitch is a murderer. But let them have an extra layer of tragedy.

It's crazy people seem to not understand this logic when SHADOWHEART is right there. You can drive parallels from her lore easily.

[merlin-bdsm-fest]

Visual resources primer

If you're creating a visual oriented fanwork or you're a writer who needs to see all the details to craft the perfect sentence, we thought of you!

This resource post is for visuals. It is geared towards artists who have never drawn BDSM art or want to try to represent new kinks for our fest.

⚠️ Proceed with caution! ⚠️

There are no images in this post, only links. All the links contain nsfw content varying from artistic nudity to sexual photos. 🔞 I specify the content (cw) of the website linked to the best of my ability, but none of it is appropriate for the average office workplace.

Please be mindful of your own triggers and limits before clicking any link.

■ General advice

Drawing kinky and/or bdsm scenes for the first time requires some level of research, but depending on what you want to depict it can be more or less than your average piece of art.

Drawing temperature play with ice? As easy as googling "ice". Drawing specific gear like puppy play hoods or a shibari design might require more diving.

■ Genitals

Before delving in the saucier part, I thought some basics might be a good introduction. Not all BDSM involves genitals, but some of it does, so take what you need.

[cw the following are all drawn 2d tutorials of genitals]

- Tutorial on dicks - More dicks and piercings - T-dick in various states - T-dick more in detail - Vulva tutorial - Vulva tutorial on pixiv

For more drawn references the sites that have the best tagging system are imo: • Rule 34 [cw the page opens to an anime drawing of a girl in bikini, depending on what you search it contains every kind of 2d porn] • Pixiv (requires login) [cw, before login it has a sfw interface, once you log in the main page differs (it shows what's popular at the moment etc) so it can contain 2D porn or be entirely sfw, proceed with caution]

Why looking at nsfw art? Looking at art first might ease you into the subject and make it feel less awkward, and artists tend to accentuate details, so observing other artists is a great tool to see what they did and seeing if it works for us too!

■ Now, onto Real Life Resources!

• For genital photos, but also for any kink I'm sure a reddit community or thread exists! While reddit has a bad reputation from its user base, when it comes to unedited nsfw photos is a great place to look at, the downside is that often the photos are not professional and the face is cropped for privacy reasons. • Flickr has a good tagging/filtering system and while it doesn't have explicit sexual content, it allows kink and "artistic nudity", some examples: - Shibari Group on Flickr [cw: photos of people of various genders, tied up, various states of undress, genitals can be seen in some photos] - Folsom Berlin Group on Flickr [cw: people in bdsm gear, parading for the fair in the streets, leather, latex, various states of undress but no genitals showing in the first page linked]

note: Folsom is an annual BDSM and leather subculture street fair, there are many pride events with a parade part dedicated to kink or leather: looking into Pride photos could be a great way to take a look at gear being worn without having to seek porn • Check Youtube for gear reviews, sex education content and dungeon tours like this one by sexplanations [cw sfw video showing a dungeon and some activities are demonstrated by a woman as the sub and a male dom, both clothed] • Twitter has some content but it's basically impossible to filter properly, so I don't personally use it, but following some accounts as you find them or looking at tags, like Shibari Photography [cw people tied up, nudity] might get you some interesting results • Go back to the origins and check DeviantArt. DA has some amazing stock photos [cw might contain nudity] - for example I recently found this account on DA (thetiedtyper) [cw naked women in stock, pillories and chains, full nudity] that has some kinky stocks photos, perfect for the Merlin setting! • Browse BDSM Sex Shops online (or irl if you want to): sex shops have good photos of the gear and also they use the proper name for them, so you can look further into it. - Mr S Leather [cw bdsm gay sex shop, photos of examples of the objects used during sexual activity, naked bodies and genitals showing] - Etsy [cw bsdm gear search on etsy, nudity, naked people showing the accessories] While buying handmade sexual paraphernalia can be risky, there's no risk in looking at these amazing crafts to feature them in your art. You can find some really creative stuff here. • Change search engine Have you noticed how, no matter how hard you try, google will never show you decent nsfw results? I have, and it's because their filter is busted Ecosia and DuckDuckGo work best in my experience, but I'm sure other alternatives exist. You can use our resource post to see some keywords to use. • Look at porn Most porn websites have good photos or at least free video previews. I personally don't look at videos unless I need to understand a specific practice or pose (thing can get complicated ;) ) Porn is great to get the anatomy (we can bend in unexpected ways!) and also to get the way different parts interact. A rope can be tighter or more loose and that impacts the skin and fat/muscle of the person. Leather bends and reflect light a certain way. Even the simple ice from my initial example might surprise us with how the skin reacts with goosebumps or reddens and how the ice slides over it. You can also notice the set: some porn sets are simpler and some are dungeons with a very neat aesthetic, a gloryhole setting might look shady and dirty or be a "normal" bathroom stall. Just a couple examples: - DBNaked [cw: explicit porn, photos of extreme bdsm practices, the link directs to the BDSM gay category, but the website features porn of every kind, you can search the categories/tags to what suits your needs] - This shibari Japanese website which I'm including because the ropework is beautiful [cw solo photos of men from clothed to naked, tied up and with other various kinks involved, unrelated but it features a lot of clothing kink too XD]

■ Materials that will make your life easier

You've got the reference, your visual library is full, what can make your drawing experience even smoother?

Many programs have assets/materials that can help you

• Clip Studio Assets: - This rope brush set (you might recognize from our banner <3) 100 clippy Content ID: 1843256 - Free rope brushes - This free chain brush Content ID: 1844909 - Free Seam brush, useful for giving details to leather and corsets Content ID: 1848691 - Free Stitch brush for more clothes or accessories detailing Content ID: 1896762 - This "fluid" brush, 10 clippy, worth it! I swear by this one, I use it mostly for sweat and it's *chef's kiss Content ID: 1790153 Some Materials websites do not allow terms like 'blood' or 'semen/come' so artists may use "glue" or other alternative search terms. CSP has a lot of scars brushes and many more <3 you can easily look at them in the assets, depending on which kink you choose. But what about other art programs? • Gumroad is a marketplace for artists. Search 'keyword + brush' and toggle the NSFW button on to have more results. The price might vary from a couple dollars to more depending on the kind of brush and set. Gumroad also has nsfw photo packs, if you really want a specific thing or to check them out. - Free Glue Brush for Procreate - Free Mystery Liquid for procreate - Free milk brush for Procreate • DeviantArt [cw this opens the main page for DA, may contain nudity or 2d porn] has some materials you might use.

I didn't go more in depth for Photoshop because i think it has its own shop/marketplace. For Krita and other softwares I couldn't find any brush, I think their software engine is not as advanced right now.

The textures on Gumroad and DA work for all programs.

■ Follow nsfw artists and engage with the community

Many artists share what they use or where they got it, and can often give useful tips, no matter what they draw. I hope these tips, as modest as they are, will be helpful not only for the BDSM week, but also for Kinkalot and the rest of your creative path ♡

In conclusion, whether you choose to draw Arthur in a simple and cute collar (cw sfw cute collar) or to paint a well negotiated BDSM orgy of the Knights roleplaying as Merlin's slaves, remember to have fun!

[not-krys]

Fictober 2022: A New Resident

Prompt #25: You Know I'd Do Anything

Fandom: Ikemen Vampire

Rating: Mature

Characters: Comte de Saint Germain, Preg!Reader, Leonardo da Vinci, Arthur Conan Doyle

Summary: After finding that Blanc and Rogue could do nothing to help improve your condition, Comte decides the only option left to save your baby is to offer his own blood.

Notes: Blood, AFAB Reader referenced with she/her pronouns and feminine-coded terms, Pregnancy, Childbirth, Implied/References to pregnancy and birth complications, use of French and Italian when neither are languages I speak so the usage is possibly incorrect.

Word Count: 2,157

Also on ao3!

My Masterlist!

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"You know that I'd do anything for her… for them…" Comte brushed your damp bangs out of your eyes, closed in an uneasy sleep.

"Even risk turning her?" Leonardo said pointedly, glaring at his old friend.

"Blanc and Rouge aren't doing as well as we had hoped. I also don't want to risk the other residents either. It has to be a pureblood's essence. My blood."

"And what happens if you lose both of them? What then?"

Comte looked pained, looking again at his beloved's face.

"…We have to try something, Leonardo. I can't stand to see them suffering like this."

Leonardo glared, staring down the other vampire, his teeth grinding together.

"Fine… but we're using a knife. No need to get your fangs involved."

Comte smiled, tired, but relieved.

"Thank you, mon ami."

"I'll go ask Sebas for one." Leonardo turned with the speed only a pureblood could manage, his coat tails trailing behind him.

Comte turned his attention back to his cherie on the bed, pale but still breathing. He kissed your fevered forehead, brushing back more of your sweat-dampened hair. His other hand trailed down your side, to your swollen abdomen covered by the thin sheet. He pressed his hand into you, feeling a tiny heart beneath his hand against what he could only assume was his child's back.

"So strong." Comte said tenderly, his smile soft despite his fatigue. "for one so tiny."

His eyes turned back to his love, his smile turning to a frown.

"I'm sorry, ma cherie." he said, sadly, "this… all of this… none of us knew that this was even possible. For purebloods and humans to be able to reproduce together… and now you're paying the price for it…"

His hand trembled in your hair.

"If I could take away your suffering, all of it… you know that I would. But it's becoming harder and harder to find viable options. I thought that the Rouge would help as it's the closest to the real thing, but even that is starting to fail."

His breath shuddered, struggling to keep his voice even as he spoke to you.

"If nothing else works… if my blood isn't enough… what must I do?"

He received no answer aside from your steady breathing and the tiny heart beating beneath his hand.

Minutes later, Leonardo returned with Arthur in tow, carrying a bowl of hot water and towels.

"He refused to stay behind with the others," Leonardo commented, "and said we might need this."

"I'm no midwife, but I've delivered my fair share of babies before, so I'll help with what I can if it comes to that."

Comte frowned.

"It's too soon," he said, "they would be premature."

"It's always a possibility that we need to prepare for," said Arthur, "as another idea, in case yours doesn't work out, of course."

He then washed his hands in the nightstand bowl.

"What is the plan, anyway?"

"I'm going to give her some of my blood." Comte said plainly.

"But… won't that turn her?"

"Only if a pureblood's venom is administered first." Leonardo said, placing down the hot water nearby.

"Though the bite from a pureblood," Comte continued, helping you to sit up amongst the large pile of pillows. "However, to be effectively turned, the prospective vampire also has to drink their maker's blood, to complete the transformation."

"Has to be a pureblood's blood too, not one of you lesser ones. 'Scusa, cara mia." Leonardo helped fluff up your pillows.

"But, since Blanc and Rouge don't seem to be helping her anymore, we're resorting to more desperate measures."

"I see."

"That's what the knife is for." Leonardo said, putting a towel under your chin. "Comte's gonna slice himself open for our amusement. "

"Just a cut on my wrist, nothing more. Hopefully nothing more." He rolled up his sleeve, exposing the milky white of his arm, flexing his hand to release the tension. "And please don't be so crude in front of my wife and child, Leonardo."

"What better way would you have put it?"

"So, as far as I'm understanding what we're doing, " Arthur interjected, "We're going to have the bird drink your blood, and then what? Hope for the best? Pregnancy is meant to have an end where the little bundle has to come out."

"…Will she even be alright? With drinking a pureblood's blood?"

"We're not sure," Comte said, "but we have to try something…"

You winced and groaned, breaking Comte's train of thought. You gripped the sheets so tightly, your knuckles turned white.

"A-Abel," you whispered hoarsely.

"[Name]! I'm right here," Comte took hold of your hand, "What's wrong?"

"It… it hurts…"

"What hurts? Where does it hurt?"

You moved your hand over your stomach, grimacing.

"I… I don't know what's wrong…." you hissed, hot tears forming in your eyes. "It hurts…"

"[Name]," Comte said calmly as he could, smoothing back your hair again, "I want you to drink some of my blood. We're going to see if it helps."

"But… what if…"

"Please, cherie," Comte pleaded, "it's the last thing we haven't tried. Let me help you."

You swallow, breathing hard but shallow.

"…If… if it will help…"

Comte kissed your forehead.

"It will work."

He released your hand and took the kitchen knife from Leonardo, turning his back to you. You then heard a sharp hiss through his teeth and a grunt of pain. When he turned back around, a rivulet of red oozed down his arm. He sat down on the edge of the bed, holding out his wrist to you.

"It shouldn't taste too different from Rouge." Comte reassured you.

"Coppery, then…" you tried to laugh, but winced instead.

Comte held his wrist closer, giving your mouth easy access, rubbing your shoulder with his other hand. Carefully, you licked up his arm, pretending not to notice the shiver that went through him. It did taste similar to Rouge, coppery as blood had always tasted to you, but there was a difference. The warmth for one, how fresh it was, not diluted with thinners so that it was drinkable and kept for longer. It didn't taste particularly good but it wasn't completely disgusting. There was also something else there that you couldn't quite describe. Something old… powerful… Was this what made up a pureblood's blood?

When you had finished, nothing remained on Comte's wrist save for an angry red line, already on its way to turning white and faint.

Everything turned still save for your breathing. No other sound entered the room.

"How do you feel, Cherie?" Comte said.

"It might take a minute to fully take effect," Arthur said, "letting it get through her system and all tha-!"

Suddenly, you were sitting up, clutching your stomach, breathing hard and ragged.

"[Name]!" Comte called out.

"Well, it did something!" Leonardo said.

"Pardon me, sirs!" Arthur was now at your side, throwing the blanket off, blinking in surprise.

"W-wet…" you said weakly.

"Wet?" Comte said.

"I think her water just broke," Arthur frowned.

"It's too soon!" Comte said, "[Name]!"

"Can't do anything about it now!" Arthur said. "Comte, you help [Name] get control of her breathing. Last thing we need is her passing out. And I know you'll get mad if I didn't ask, but take off any underclothes she has on. And I'll only look as much as necessary. Leonardo, you get me some of those towels. Call out to Sebas that we might be needing more. And my doctor bag in my closet. And something soft we can wrap the baby in."

Leonardo nodded, helping Arthur place the towels and calling for Sebastian through a crack in the door while Comte gently pulled off your underwear.

"[Name]," Arthur said calmly to you, "what you're likely experiencing right now are contractions. What I want you to do, besides keep on taking as deep and easy breaths as you can, is to tell me when the pains become more intense. I'm timing them so I can know when to tell you to push. Only do so when I tell you to, alright?"

"O-okay."

"In the meantime," Arthur cracked a smile, "how about you two talk about names? Maybe place bets on if you're gonna have a boy or girl?"

 You looked over at Comte as he looked over at you.

"Well… our odds favor having a boy. " Comte said, "Female purebloods are rare, even rarer to find one that can bear children."

"Rare?" you say, wincing.

"Rare enough to be quite valuable, especially in the old families. Mère had to be guarded at all times, before and after I was born. Other families would do anything to say they have a child-bearer amongst them."

"My mamma hated being guarded," said Leonardo, returning with more towels and a small yellow blanket. "always complained to Papà about it. Hated how it limited her freedom."

You grimaced and breathed in.

"Stronger now…"

"Just a little longer," Arthur glanced at his watch then back at you. "you're doing fine, given the circumstances."

"T-thanks…"

"Keep your breathing calm.  You'll be needing it soon."

"How soon?"

"It varies, mostly, though not by this much. At best, this normally would be over in a few hours, a full day or so if you're not so lucky. This? This is happening so quickly, I'm a little baffled myself. Maybe the old chap's blood helped accelerate the labor?"

"It is normally supposed to help turn a normal human into a vampire," Comte thought aloud, "I'm sorry, Cherie. This is my fault."

You smiled tensely.

"No one knew something like this… how any of this was possible. We were all taken by surprise. You just wanted to help."

"Still…"

You reach a hand up towards his cheek, intending to try and comfort him, but another pain rattled you, your hand falling back to the bed sheets.

"A-Arthur!"

"Pardon the intrusion, luv!" Arthur was at your feet in an instant, grabbing a nearby towel. His eyes widened again in surprise. "Bloody hell, the head's already- Leonardo, grab my scissors and keep that blanket handy! [Name], I know this is going super fast, but when I count to three, I want you to push for me."

"Push!?"

"One!"

Your hand clenched the sheets while you gritted your teeth. Comte took hold of your hand, letting it clamp around his.

"Two!"

You looked at him, seeing him smile to encourage you, nodding.

"Three!"

With Arthur's command, you squeezed Comte's hand as hard as you could, holding your breath. You released when you felt you couldn't hold it anymore, panting hard.

"Head's almost out," Arthur said, "two more should get the shoulders out. On the count of three again, [Name]. One!"

You clenched Comte's hand again, his face thankful for his vampire strength keeping his fingers and palm from shattering.

"Two!"

On Arthur's call of another three, you pushed the second time, feeling your heart racing and your face turning red with effort. On the third push, Arthur called Leonardo over, the sound of snipping scissors barely registering in your ears.

"No wonder you were in so much pain, wrapped up in your own cord." Arthur bit his lip while cleaning off their nose and mouth. "Color still looks good, thank-."

He was interrupted by a new voice in the room, a tiny cough soon followed by a breathy cry.

"That's…"Comte started.

"Almost out," Arthur said, "almost there, little bairn. Nearly there, [Name]."

"Che cavolo…" said Leonardo.

The next few minutes blurred together through flashes of pain and tiny cries that stole your heart.

After what felt like hours, the pain stopped, gone completely. You could breathe easier.

Everyone was smiling, relieved.

"Congrats, [Name], Comte." Arthur said, wiping his brow.

"Say hello to your …bambina, cara mia," Leonardo said, handing over the tiny bundle of yellow, dwarfed by the vampire's large hands.

"Bambina?" you ask.

"Against your odds, you have a little girl." Arthur grinned.

"A little girl…" You said, taking in the wrinkly red face on your chest, Comte in just as much awe.

"She seems to be in good health overall, surprisingly," Arthur continued. "if on the small side, but that's to be expected with preemies. We'll have to keep an eye on her, since she is so tiny."

Comte gently rubbed his finger against her cheek, turning his head to kiss yours.

"She's beautiful, cherie."

You nodded, keeping your attention on your daughter. Arthur and Leonardo slipped out, presumably to go tell the others about their new 'resident', but you also heard distinct mumblings of badly needing a hundred cigarillos all at the same time and a drink strong enough to knock someone out into next Tuesday. 

Comte continued to keep you company, crawling into bed beside you, wrapping an arm around you and burying his nose in your hair, tired and relieved as you were. You both fell asleep like that, holding each other close, a family bonded together.

[keyofsentience]

to kiana, with love

da capo dropped few days ago and i can’t stop looping the song. my first impression was it carries the air of being hesitant to say farewell to kiana. i can’t blame the devs though. kiana was their mascot for the last 12 years and now she is saying farewell both in ggz and hi3 to make way for the next generation of mihoyo mcs.

anyways, onwards to my (first ever) review!

it starts out mellow. we are greeted with kiana on the train. sounds a bit familiar right?

then we see otto apocalypse with the imaginary tree in the background. he makes a comment about kiana reminiscing about her story. it’s also worth noting that her life began because of otto. seeing otto first brings out the mixed feelings of sadness, anger, and relief.  

the herrscher of domination pops out of nowhere next. she tells him off for being a narcissist and that kiana still has a story to continue. in everlasting flames, the first thing the HoDom tells her is to give up. we also see her outfit change from the herrscher of finality to herrscher of flamescion. some people argued that the HoDom had a little impact on kiana but if i’m being honest, i’m glad that they showed otto and the HoDom first. 

seeing the herrscher of corruption confused me a little though. the HoC was the big bad of the elysium everlasting arc. while mei did bring the HoC into the realm, i’m pretty sure that they dealt with HoC off screen. there is also the gratitude arc where they faced off against the pseudo herrscher. so yes, the hoc was pretty relevant even if it was an offscreen moment. 

we see sirin last among the antagonists. i really did not expect sirin to tell kiana she did a job. its also the way kiana acknowledged her as well. 

moving on to the next part of the animated short. kiana is falling in the skies of nagazora. except this time she can see mei. it really hit me right in the feels. last time, it was mei reaching out to unconscious kiana before she delivered her famous “if rescuing you is a sin, i’ll gladly become a sinner” line. the nagazora scene is really beautiful too. it was the opposite of the violent confrontation between mei and kiana in lament of the fallen.

the two have truly grown up. from the hot-blooded, idealistic teenagers who went on extremes for each other to grown women who had seen it all and still choose to believe in the good of the world. its also the way kiana asks mei if they have to part ways there again and mei answers that they will stay together until the end this time. the softest looks on their faces. talk about poetic cinema because this really hit me so hard. 

if anyone were to ask what if my favorite part of the animated short, its definitely the sequence that followed after it. kiana and mei going out together as they go around nagazora. we see the cast doing their own thing in the background. bronya also tags along. the trio doing normal things in the normal world. canon in D playing in the background as well. someone pointed out that the choice was a genius. the actual piece was lost until the 80s. until then, kiana would be gone for a while but she will return.  the music continues to build up until we reach the train where it falls silent again and the mood goes back to somber. as kiana walks to the very front of the train, she hears someone call out her name and she turns around to see himeko with the st. freya squad. if i did not cry during the nagazora scene, i’m most definitely crying now.

the animated short ends with a reference to the beginning cg of the game where kiana takes a dive. we also see the young kiana trudge through the snow in the middle of siberia. young kiana walks towards the earth while the older kiana is reaching out for the moon.

all in all, i was beyond glad they went with this for the animated short instead of showing the fight between her and kevin. while this was more subdued and somber than their previous cgs, it was a beautiful one nonetheless. it might not have a grand battle were kiana screams her battlecry nor the heartbreaking scenes honkai is famous for. 

the animation also referenced the previous ones. we are not just seeing the growth of kiana. we are witnessing the people who helped shape kiana to become the person she is today. she also made an impact in their lives as well.

the entire animated short is a love letter to mihoyo’s beloved daughter. while the recent chapter was a hot mess of honkai overexplaining, it was really sweet that they decided to end part 1 by honoring kiana kaslana. 

after watching the short, a mix of emotions came through me. i felt proud and at the same time devasted. kiana decided the fate for herself to achieve the ending she wanted. it might not be the ending i wanted but i’m glad that she at least achieved her happy ending.

[natsunenuko]

Now and again I check internet what is out there about my AU that I might not know... sadly I guess that’s why this ruleguide has to exist :(

dA link here

THESE ARE REVAMPED GUIDELINES.

Inspired from XxKashmiraxX UwU So, I think after so many stuff that happened to my AU (stealing, tracing) it's finally time to explain some stuff to ya'll. All my AUs are very personal to me so I take all the rules quite seriously to myself. Many of those rules also applies to my art in general. ____________

FIRST OF ALL, DON'T USE MY CHARACTERS TO REPRESENT YOUR OCS, AND DO NOT REPOST/TRACE/EDIT MY ARTS OF THEM.

____________

FANARTS

You're allowed to draw any kind of fanart (NSFW and gore too [moderate], but when it comes to ships, I'm only fine with canon and these non-canon I accepted in the list below. fanarts, 3D models, music, games, fanfictions [non-monetized] are acceptable, but please refer to official reference sheets (you can also post all this stuff on DA, Tumblr, Twitter, Youtube,), BUT YOU NEED TO CREDIT ME. Also I no longer want my AU stuff roll around on Undertale Aminos. Amino gave me the biggest problems with stealing, tracing, roleplaying my characters. ____________

SHIPS

Please DO NOT ship Frans/Soriel/Sanster/Papyton/SansXChara/Charisk - Frisk and Sans are friends, and both of them already have their own ships. - Toriel is with Asgore in my AU and she's just friends with Sans. - Sans is Gaster's son, so guess why I won't appreciate it. - As few examples about, my Papyrus too has his own ship. - Frisk and Chara are sisters in my AU [not real sisters, but still. they also both are girls, yet i have nothing against lesbian ship, but the fact they are sisters is more important] Note: As I said, I'm really personal about my AU and the ships in my AU. Every drawing from it that contains Frans/Soriel/Sanster/Papyton/SansXChara/Charisk is going to be ignored or be requested to be removed, I really don't appreciate any of that and please, understand me. Note 2: Don't ship my characters with yours, please. I appreciate you found my character so nice so you want to ship your own with them, but I don't like when this happens without me knowing about it. ____________

ALTERNATIVE AUS, CROSSOVER, ROLEPLAYING AND FANCHILDREN

Please DO NOT create your own fanchildren from my AU without my permission and my knowledge of it. Same with fan characters based on my AU and alternative AU's/Crossovers, REFUSESwap and REFUSEFell is a thing I created previously. DO NOT use my characters for roleplays. If you find my AU and you'll make something related to it, but you don't know the creator, at least say that AU isn't yours. (or just type REFUSETale in google, you should find me pretty quickly) besides, if you are reading this, you're basically reading creators words. - Also if you'll find someone saying REFUSETale is their AU, tell them to stop and contact me. Please DO NOT use my characters in sort of interaction like "Q&A" without my permission. They can only be side characters, ask itself can't be about them, I have my own ask box if you're interested ^w^ CAN I TRANSLATE YOUR COMIC? Sure, I have no problem with that. Just remember to credit me and send me link or something to your translation! CAN I DUB YOUR COMIC? Of course! No need to ask for permission! But make sure to show it off to me so I can see it! ^w^

Shiplist, again, here!

[janearts]

Top ten peeves with "medieval" fantasy armour, and/or top ten Actually Quite Practical things that the time period had in its armour that you feel are underappreciated by a modern audience?

I’ve been drawing Dragon Age armour for the past 5+ years and hating much of it so I’ve decided to specify my pet peeves for their armour designs. 🙈

Obligatory Disclaimer: I understand that the DA franchise and the DA devs have absolutely zero (0) obligation to stick to historical armours and understand that they deviate from historical sources however referenced intentionally to create their own unique fantasy blend. I’m taking the piss.

Jane’s Top 10 Pet Peeves with Fantasy Dragon Age Armour:

Side Note: DA armour is “mediaeval” in that from DAO to DAI, the DA franchise increasingly borrows bits and bobs from the Middle Ages. Examples of this include Blackwall’s gambeson and the splint-styled armour that Alistair wears. It’s a bit of a hodgepodge--Alistair’s “splintmail” armour would historically predate the more traditional plate armour you also see in the game. Splinted armour was a bridge between mail and plate, which was well-established by the early half of the 15th century.

ANYWAY, here are my pet peeves:

1. The overuse of the noble belt. IRL you wouldn’t need that many and as an artist they’re a pain in the ass to draw.

2. DAO is responsible for the ugliest and most unnatural looking couters I’ve ever had the displeasure to draw. They look like bowls attached to your elbows and they make no sense. Which leads me to my next point...

3. DAO is also responsible for separate bits of plate armour for your arm that do not connect where they ought to. In the Middle Ages, the armour for your arm was all interconnected: the pauldron connects to the rerebrace which connects to the couter which connects to the vambrace. In DAO, you’ve just got your elbow pads, maybe a gauntlet, a bit of plate that I suppose is supposed to be a rerebrace or spaulder for your upper arms, and then a godawful misshapen pauldron. Which leads me to my next point...

4. Pauldrons that have spikes that look like they will KO their wearer if given the chance. Also pauldrons that look like they would “catch” weapons instead of cleanly deflecting the blow away from the body.

5. Armour with rondels and winged pauldrons. Larger pauldrons do the work of a rondel: they protect your armpit. If you have a spaulder or a smaller pauldron that doesn’t protect your armpit then you might go for a rondel. In the DA franchise, they seem to enjoy stapling rondels (or maybe they’re just giant bolts?) to pauldrons.

6. The SMALLEST chestplates known to man. Or a chestplate without its buddy the backplate. This is a Warden callout. :’) It screams “Crush my collarbone, you swine, my chestplate can’t do shit!”

7. The heinous and unforgivable lack of cuisses. Go ahead and tell your thighs they don’t matter then kiss those puppies goodbye.

8. A gorget that is YAWNING so wide it doesn’t actually protect the goddamn neck! I am specifically calling out the Templars on this one.

9. The goddamn overuse of tassets--at least I think they were going for tassets--by the franchise as a whole. The segmented style is called an Almain rivet and you can see that on Templar & Warden armour... except it’s never actually attached to the cuirass? It always seems to be held up by a belt? It’s not meant to be a substitute for cuisses. I don’t know what they were thinking. They probably weren’t and probably figured no one would notice/care. BUT I DO. I DO!

10. They overuse tassets, but don’t cover the assets if you know what I mean. I originally thought that what I’m referring to as tassets could have been their attempt at faulds & culets? Not sure on that one. Anyway, faulds & culets are bits of plate that tend to cover the hips/waist/ass area. One sure sign that a designer is looking at jousting armour is when they don’t. cover. the ass. (The original wearer didn’t need to because they’d be on a horse! But your footsoldier absolutely needs to cover their ass.) I’m thinking of the DAI Wardens again with this one. :’)

[therealvinelle]

Ok I'm embarrassed to admit this, but I'm just now copying your Norwegian Bella AU into a text translator, and if you don't already have 50 people in your inbox demanding a translation then shame on ALL OF US because this is glorious! And while Google Translate does have a certain charm (it translated "piper hun ut" as "she beeps") I'm curious to see how you'd put it in English.

Troquantary is referring to this post. In which Bella doesn't speak English.

Fun fact, you're the only one who's gone into my inbox to request this. I was so sad, had the translation half-written and everything, but I was too proud to beg. So thank you, Troquantary, for popping this ask.

As for the dictionary fuckups, sounds about right. I made a few typos, too, that made Google Translate suffer even more. (Such as managing to mix up "henne" (her) and "hendene" (hands), resulting in Aro patting Bella instead of clapping his hands. Poor Google.)

Also, there are a few cultural references and language things that would be lost in the translation, in an attempt to keep them I included notes clarifying things.

Some things, like Aro and Carlisle's very old man way of speaking, are easier said than done to translate, you'll have to bear with me there.

Additional notes are that I added a few things to this version, many of them because translating is hard, but a few because while translating I thought "oh you know what would be much funnier-" and then wrote that.

Alright, without further ado:

When Renée left Charlie she did not go to Florida, she went to Oslo. And she went all in to make her daughter a true Norwegian, hiring Norwegian nannies and making sure never to speak English around the child. Since transatlantic flights are expensive, little Bella Swan rarely got to visit her father, and as such she never did learn what should have been her native language.

She quickly forgot what English she did have in favor of Norwegian, with the exception of words like “Yes”, “No”, and “I’m Bella”.

The few trips she took to visit her father were all the more awkward than in canon since she couldn’t play with the Black kids. Let not the blame fall upon Charlie: he took Norwegian classes and speaks conversational Norwegian. He can’t speak to Renée, because her Norwenglish is incomprehensible even to Norwegians, but he can communicate with Bella.

Not that he’s had a lot of chances to do so.

Bella makes it to seventeen years old, she’s in second grade at Handels* and is a major outsider among the preps there, and then Renée marries a handsome skier**. Together they shall travel the continent all winter to participate in as many skiing races as they can, and in the summer they’ll take gigs at Hurtigruta to see the coast.

*“Handels” is the nickname for an Oslo high school infamous for its pupils being rich and beautiful blonds who are going to be CEOs when they grow up.

**Skiing as a sport is huge in Norway

***Hurtigruta is a famous ferry that travels across the Norwegian West coast

Bella, who sucks at skiing and is too young to work at Hurtigruten, takes the hint.

With dread in her stomach and dictionary in hand she goes to her father in America.

Where she doesn’t speak the language.

Faen.

Charlie gives her a car, and I wish this meta was set in the present because I could have joked about electric cars and the automat only driver’s license*, but Twilight is set in 2005 so I can’t. The car part proceeds without drama.

*An increasing number of Norwegian youth take the driver’s license for automatic cars only, and we’re the country in the world with the highest percentage of electric car purchases.

School is worse than in canon, because she is now a thousand times more sensational than if she was merely the new student. She is from another country! All of Forks keels over with excitement.

To make matters even worse, our girl doesn’t understand a word of what people are saying.

She is too awkward to let them know she doesn’t know English. It’d become a thing, and they might think she’s dumb. To be fair, it’s not good that she’s been through primary, secondary, and now a year and a half of high school and still sucks at English.

So she nods, smiles, mumbles “Hi, I’m Bella” to the new faces, and blushes heavily when anybody says anything.

People assume she’s shy. That’s a bit boring, but oh well.

She has her biology class with the redhead hottie she noticed during lunch. She watched him and his family, they were fascinatingly pretty, but she doesn’t know anything more about them. Sure would have been great if she could have asked the tiny girl (was it Jess?) about them.

Biology proceeds as in canon - Edward badly wants to eat the delicious girl, but fortunately doesn’t.

She runs into him in the office when he tries to switch to another biology lesson, but she has no idea what he’s saying so she only has the suspicion that this somehow concerns her. Which is still uncomfortable, but Bella is probably the problem here. The hottie surely can’t be.

He’s missing from school for a week, Bella finds that weird.

He returns, and to her great horror he starts talking to her.

“Hello”, he says.

Bella dies inside. He’s too handsome!

"I'm Edward Cullen," he continues, and ok, she got that. The hottie is called Edward, that’s good to know. She’s not sure she caught that last name, though, Köln?

He says something else, it’s gibberish to Bella even though she’s concentrating, and at the end there he says “Bella Swan”.

She gulps.

"I'm Bella Swan," she confirms and nods. That should be correct. God, she hopes it’s correct.

He smiles a crooked, boyish smile. She’s awed. She didn’t think it was possible to be so beautiful.

He says something else.

Bella didn’t catch it.

She blushes even harder, she hasn’t been more embarrassed in her life. Here he is, the most handsome guy in all the world, and she has nothing to say to him. Literally, they don’t speak the same language.

She should tell him.

It’s one thing to chicken out of telling the town she doesn’t speak English, but there’s something different about Edward Cullen. He deserves the truth.

But...

He’s the most beautiful person she has seen in her life. He is American, too, so the odds of him knowing Norwegian are microscopical. If he finds out she doesn’t understand a word he says he’ll stop talking to her, and selfish as she is she doesn’t want that.

So with a slightly guilty conscience (but not enough to fess up) she contributes to the conversation with enough words and smiles to pull through. "Yes", "No", "Thank you", and "That's nice".

He is surprised by several of these answers, but instead of giving her odd looks and losing interest he grows more invested in the conversation.

Class ends.

The next day the near accident happens, and he saves her. She is stunned - dear god, did he just pick up a whole car? After teleporting across the parking lot..?

Soon she’s in the ER, and more than a little bit stressed about that fact since she knows the Americans have a terrible healthcare system.

She hopes Charlie has an insurance.

An insanely beautiful man walks into the ER, and Bella is shocked. He is just as handsome as Edward and Edward’s lunch friends!

He introduces himself as Carlisle Cullen, and Bella can only assume this is someone’s older brother. Possibly related to the blonde girl.

He smiles at her, says something, and she answers, "I'm Bella Swan."

He frowns.

That must have been the wrong answer, then.

His hands return to investigating her scalp, and to her great surprise he switches to perfect Norwegian, "kjenner De* noe ubehag når jeg holder her?" Do you feel any discomfort when I touch here?

*De is the Norwegian polite pronoun for “you”. Du = thou = the French tu, and De = you = the French vous. These polite pronouns went out of use in the 1980’s, save for when addressing royal persons, and would be considered antiquated in 2005.

He hurries to add, "Norsk lærte jeg i... fjor sommer. Det var et nettkurs." I learned Norwegian… last year. Online class.

"Hvilket da?" Which one? Bella asks, because Charlie needs to hear about this. The doctor has beautiful, if slightly outdated, pronunciation.

The doctor’s smile turns uncertain. She gets the feeling there’s something he doesn’t want to say. "Husker ikke," I don’t remember, sier han etter en litt vel lang pause.

That’s a shame. And weird.

"De hadde hellet med Dem i dag, som ikke ble truffet av den bilen." You were lucky today, not getting hit by that car. he then says, noticeably changing the subject.

"Det var ikke hell, det var Edward," It wasn’t luck, it was Edward, she replies sharply.

The doctor definitely looks uncomfortable.

She continues, "Han krysset skolegården på et blunk, og plukket opp hele bilen. Jeg så det," He crossed the schoolyard in a moment, and picked up the whole car. I saw it,

The doctor laughs. "Om han kunne det hadde nok gymkarakteren hans vært meget bedre. Nei, frøken Swan*, jeg beklager å si at det høres ut som at De er litt omtåket. Det er helt normalt ved hjernerystelse." If he could do that, his PE grade would be a lot better. No, Miss Swan, I’m sorry to say you seem confused. That’s normal with concussions.

*Addressing a young woman as “frøken” is even more outdated than using polite pronouns.

Why does Bella get the feeling he’s lying?

She’s discharged.

We’ll jump ahead to her trip to La Push - that trip uneventful, since Jacob knows she doesn’t speak English. They stick their hands in their pockets and stare at the sea.

The next day she’s shanghaied to Port Angeles, because apparently she said “Yes” at the wrong time when talking to Jessica (Turns out Jess’s name was Jessica!) and accidentally said yes to a day trip to Port Angeles.

Like in canon she wanders away from the others, and as in canon she is nearly gang raped. And again as in canon she is saved at the last moment by Edward.

He buys her dinner, and she can’t believe her own luck- and misfortune. A date with the most handsome guy on the planet (hence the luck) and she can’t say a word to him (hence the misfortune)!

He says things to her, lends her his jacket, and really this is it for Bella, she’s peaked, life can’t get better than this.

(That’s a lie, it would be better if she spoke English.)

He’s so amazing.

She’s gotten pretty good at navigating conversations with him, so she nods and aha’s her way through.

In his car on the way home the tone takes a more serious turn.

He asks her about something, and it’s a serious question, that much she’s gathered. She answers in the confirmative.

He is silent.

Did she say anything wrong?

(Edward, on his end, just asked if she knows what he is. She said yes, so calmly, not even a trace of fear in her.)

A few days later he takes her out on a walk in the woods.

He shows her a meadow in the woods, and when he steps into it he lights up in the sunlight.

Bella is in shock.

She knew there was something different about him, but- holy cow. This guy isn’t human.

Is she dating a god?

She stumbles into the clearing after him, and they spend a day together where he says things, and she can barely hear any of it (nevermind understand it) because she’s so distracted by how pretty he is.

The next day he takes her to a house in the middle of nowhere. She doesn’t want to guess that this can be where he lives. Surely gods don’t live in houses?

He shows her inside the house, and introduces her for Dr. Cullen and a lady with a name she doesn’t catch.

Bit weird that these two are acting like a couple of parents, they’re far too young and divine for that.

Edward shows her around in an old-fashioned office, and she doesn’t know what to make of i when she sees a painting of Carlisle. Edward launches into a long story when he sees her watching it, unfortunately she doesn’t catch any dates or artist names. At one point she heard the word “suicide”, though, and that’s not good.

She doesn’t get much out of the story.

The baseball game doesn’t happen because Bella didn’t pick up on what Edward wanted and didn’t realize she was being invited to a thing. They spend the afternoon watching a movie instead.

The relationship continues, impeded slightly by communication problems, but she’s mostly able to cover those up.

Until her birthday comes around.

She gets a papercut.

Jasper lunges at her. Edward throws her into a glass table, and then everyone is leaving.

Carlisle is kind enough to switch to Norwegian when he’s stitching up her arm, perhaps remembering the last time she was his patient. "Jasper har ikke vært på dietten vår så veldig lenge." Jasper hasn’t been on our diet for very long.

"Diett?"she asks. She’s never seen Edward eat anything. She wasn’t clear on what the Cullens ate, honestly she thought they were above such things. She was thinking maybe photosynthesis. The knowledge that they apparently eat food astounds her, but diets?

"Dyreblod istedenfor menneskeblod," Animal blood in stead of human blood, Carlisle clarifies.

Whachasay?

Carlisle gives a slight smile. “Jaspers liv som vampyr fikk en brutal start." Jasper’s life as a vampire got off to a brutal start.

...

Vampire?!

Bella’s missed something here.

Oh dear lord, oh fy faen, she has missed something.

“Åja”, uh huh, is all she can say, and suddenly she’s very aware of the fact that she’s sitting there with a bleeding arm.

And Carlisle.

Who is a vampire.

Over the course of the following conversation Bella makes a host of discoveries.

Edward has been a vampire this whole time, and he’s a telepathic vampire. Whether Bella should be a vampire too or not has been a matter of hot debate, but due to religious reasons Edward doesn’t want that.

Carlisle also brings up how Edward died of the Spanish flu.

"Jeg var under den oppfatning at Edward fortalte deg bakhistorien min?" I was under the impression Edward told you my back story? Carlisle asks at one point, and Bella just has to ask very nicely if he’d be so kind as to repeat it.

Turns out the guy is nearly four hundred years old.

Jaha.

Jahahaha jaa ha.

That’s… a lot.

She wanders out of the house in shock, and hardly notices Edward’s strange behavior over the next couple of days.

One day he picks her up at school, and takes her behind the house.

That works out.

He’s a vampire, but he never hurt her. He is endlessly beautiful, perhaps easier to love now that she knows he’s not a god. He’s her Edward, and that’s suddenly easier now that she knows.

They can still be together.

But now that she knows this about him, it’s about time he knows something about her as well.

It’s time to finally be honest with him.

So when he opens his mouth, she opens her mouth as well, but she doesn’t get any further than to “Edward-” before he launches into a monologue.

She’ll have to wait until he’s done before saying her piece. It’s a bit embarrassing, but it doesn’t seem like he intends to stop talking anyway.

And what he’s saying seems to be serious, so it’s probably best to let him finish.

Edward concludes his monologue by kissing her forehead. Then he disappears.

Where did he go?

A big unsure, Bella goes back to the house. She’ll just have to wait until he gets back.

She doesn’t know what to think when Charlie returns from work and tells her the Cullens have all left.

Oh, god.

Edward must have found out she doesn’t speak English.

She made a mockery of him.

He has every right to leave.

Knowing this doesn’t make it any easier to live with.

Bella sinks into a depression.

The hallucinations begin, as in canon, though Hallusinward speaks Norwegian. Thank god for small mercies.

The friendship with Jacob (dictionary in hand) blooms, as someone has to help her see those hallucinations.

The cliff diving happens, and Alice shows up. Bella’s not sure what this is about, but she has gotten good enough at English to know that something bad happened, and Alice wants them to do something.

She’s a bit surprised to find herself on a plane to Italy, though.

Alice tells her to “Run to Edward” and ok, she got that, actually.

So she saves Edward.

After that she’s taken into the sewer, which turns out to house dozens of vampires.

Bella, Edward, and Alice are received in some kind of hall, where an unusual vampire has quite a bit to say. She understands some of what he’s saying, at least the part about “la tua cantante”. She knows a bit about Italian, see, so she knows that he’s talking about a song now.

She wishes she knew the context.

At one point he takes her hand, and appears fascinated by it. She wonders if he’s a palmreader. Not very vampirey, but what does she know.

He asks her a question.

"Yes," she says.

Saying yes has gotten her this far, after all.

But when he lights up and claps his hands together, and Edward and Alice stare at her in shock and betrayal, she knows she must have said the wrong thing.

The two are dismissed from the room before Bella can do or say anything, she’s just listening to Edward make a racket outside in the hallway.

Not good.

The unusual vampire brings her further down in his sewer palace to a basement, and she is given comfortable clothes to wear.

This is getting terrifying.

The vampire leans towards her - and she chickens out.

"Jeg snakker ikke engelsk!" she squeaks. "Non habla ingles!" I don’t speak English.

Han stanser, og ser forvirret ut. "Que- Hva behager*?" I beg your pardon? spør han etter et øyeblikk.

*A very formal, and slightly outdated (you can use it, but people will think you’re putting on airs. And they will be right) way of saying “excuse me?”

Sobbing, Bella tells him the whole story, from how she didn’t want to be the weird kid in school to how she’s now somehow in Italy without knowing why nor what she just agreed to.

When she’s done the vampire starts laughing.

"Dette forklarer jo en hel del," This explains quite a bit, ler han. "Men, kjære Bella, jeg er redd det ikke endrer noe." But, my dear Bella, I’m afraid it changes nothing.

He tells her that she has agreed to serve him and his army of undead warriors into eternity.

Well fuck.

"Du skal få slippe det, når du ikke visste hva du samtykket til - men skjebnen din forblir den samme. Loven er loven." You’re released from that promise, as you didn’t know what you agreed to - but your fate remains the same. The law is the law.

After a moment of silence, during which she looks terrified, he hurries to add, "Vi har en lov. Du må bli en av oss." We have a law. You must become one of us.

A law that Bella Swan has to become a vampire?

People are finally speaking Norwegian, and Bella is still lost. And it’s too embarrassing to keep pestering this poor, polite man with questions.

So she nods.

He gives her a glittering smile, and bites her.

When she wakes, Aro offers her an English course. A language course that, naturally, leads to her staying in Volterra. Why not learn a few more languages while we’re at it, dearest Bella?

Some time later Edward breaks into Volterra to save his Rapunzel, only to barely recognize her now that she’s a vampire who says things. Lots of things, she talks all the time now. WHAT DID ARO DO TO HER.

Too mortified to admit that she never spoke English, Bella claims she’s been brainwashed.

Aro is having too much fun to correct her, and the whole sad affair sets off a regrettable flood of rumors.

[punemy-spotted]

The Price You Pay

Pairing: Mob!Steve Rogers x Reader

Warnings: Non-con/Dub-con, mentions of murder, unclear timeline, blackmail, unprotected sex, fingering (F!receiving), smut, esoteric references to past abuse, manipulation, Dark!Fic

Words: 5.2k (holy fuck?)

Summary: You need his help. He names his price.

Notes: This is for @stargazingfangirl18 and her incredible 5K Soft!Dark Challenge and I can't believe I wrote over 5k words for a oneshot, making this the longest piece I've ever written. I took a blend of prompts: Mob!AU; “When I woke up this morning, I certainly didn’t think my day would end like this;” and “That’s a big favor you’re asking for, I think you need to make it worth my while.”

And this was intended to be a oneshot but now I can't stop thinking about it so thanks Siri, I think this is now a part of my WIPs too! Your work is amazing and I had a blast being able to take part in this!

As usual, my work is 18+ ONLY, Minors DO NOT INTERACT

You went to him first.

You went to him, handed them your business card and I want to speak to Steve Rogers.

Honestly they almost threw you out with an extra hole in your head but then the man of the hour walked right in.

So now you’re here. Now you’re here, sitting across a gorgeous dining table with a ten-course meal laid out and honestly you’re surprised they didn’t tie your wrists to the arms of the chair while you watch him eat and take in the look of those baby blue eyes scanning you over.

He even brought you non-alcoholic rosé, when you said you didn’t drink.

So.

So.

You wanted to talk to me?

Yeah, I do. Thought you’d just sit me in your office, have a consultation.

I like breaking bread with new friends. Have a nice dinner, get the wine flowing — of course, that’s not gonna loosen your tongue, but we’ll forgive it.

Oh. Cool, I like being forgiven.

He laughs at that one and the room, strumming with tension, snaps into amusement. So do you, cracking a half smile on dark red lips, before swallowing down the lump of anxiety threatening to break through and destroy everything. You need this. You need this and you can’t let anything — not your nervousness, not your morals, not him — stop you. You need this and it needs to be done and if this is what justice is in this fucking city then so be it.

Well, sweetness, you’ve got my attention. You want to talk business or pleasure?

That one makes you laugh, a little sharp and a little cruel, and the curling smirk on his face gets a little furrowed because he hears it too — pain.

It could be both, you say finally, picking up the glass of rosé-that-wasn’t, if your reputation is as real as they say it is.

He lifts a bite of cheesecake into his mouth and lets it melt on his tongue while he watches you, somewhere between impressed and incensed. You know the look — you saw it the last time he met you in court, but you weren’t there as allies then. Never thought you’d come to me, he admits finally, sounding halfway bemused at the idea, but you’re full of surprises, aren’t you, Counsel?

You wince, or maybe smirk, eyes on the man before you.

It’s a game, a dance, a ruse, and the woman you thought you were thirteen months ago when you put four of Steve Rogers’s best men in jail for fifteen years — fifteen years longer than any District Attorney had ever managed to do before you, and you were just the rookie they handed a shit case to — is leagues different from the woman you are now, seated prim and proper in the lion’s den.

You’re not innocent. That’s not been your game for years — this life doesn’t leave room for innocence, it tears at you, leaves you tired and broken and ill.

Your colleagues learned to fear him a long time ago, the man before you. Captain America, leading the city, the country, the world into a new era of high tech crime all under his thumb. It’s a pretty shiny shield, the one that sits behind him, but mirrors are black on the other side and his soul is dark as coal.

You’re not an angel yourself, and this deal with the Devil isn’t for anyone but you.

I need someone taken care of.

So you come to me? I thought you were a lady of morals, Counsel.

Certain kinds of morals.

You can see him smile, see the way he raises his glass, the glimmer of malice and amusement in his eyes. So tell me. What’s the name?

You give it.

He’s not in the city, your target, but he will be. A Judge, an activist, real tough-on-crime-sweet-on-justice type of shit. You don’t tell him the reasons why, because those are yours, but you tell him the name. You tell him he’s a problem, you tell him he’s dangerous, you tell him you’ll pay to have him taken care of, you tell him you don’t want to practice in front of that black, black robe.

And he smiles like the Devil he is, watches you with a grin and drinks his whiskey in one last shot before slamming it down, Real woman of the law, aren’t you?

You said that when we met the first time.

He’s a hunter, you can see it in his eyes. That lion’s mane might be tamed right now but it won’t be for long and you’re playing with wild animals. The eyes on you are ice and daggers, daring you to do the one thing everyone in the office has been begging you not to do.

(Drop the charges, Rookie, the case is just to get your face in front of the judge.)

You upped the charges.

(Rookie, you don’t know what you’re dealing with, there’s other cases.)

You subpoenaed his phone records.

(Rookie, don’t make me drag you off this case!)

You won.

You had no witnesses and a jury you had to drag in from god-knows-where after you proved, over and over again, that he’d paid off the cohort in the courtroom. Finding people with nothing to lose and a desire to do their civic duty wasn’t harder than you thought — it was exactly as impossible as you expected.

But you did it.

That’s what you do, isn’t it? Push and push and fight, claw your fingers at the ledge and pull yourself up, you pay for your crimes in your blood, sweat and tears you pay for the things you could have done then and didn’tdo.

You pay.

And sometimes, that payment bounces back.

And when it was all said and done, when the closing statements were delivered, when the Jury came back out and the Judge — hands shaking, mouth agape, eyes wide — read out the verdict no one expected, you… didn’t feel any better, did you? There was no justice for you in that room, just the searing glare of ice-blue eyes and the burning of your steel spine.

Real woman of the law, aren’t you?

First words he said to you, while the courtroom emptied out and you stood there, facing the man you’d just made an enemy of with your briefcase in your hand and your eyes aflame.

I did my job.

Did you? Is that what you think your job is?

My job is justice, unflinching and blind, Mr. Rogers. I don’t care how much power you have or how afraid you leave this city, I’m going to do my job.

You could always let justice turn a blind eye.

Yeah. I could, but that wouldn’t make this any fun, would it? Thank you for the win, Mr. Rogers — I’m sure I won’t get many more.

You leave him with a smile on his face and the scent of your perfume in his memories.

He leaves you with the pride of victory in your bones and a reminder that your strife could be worth it.

One day.

How do you plan to fill that pit, the one you tossed the corpses of your old self into? The one you let them claw up out of, to haunt you? Remind you?

You’re digging your own grave and you know it, but you won’t let Steven Grant Rogers be the first one to toss a handful of dirt over your corpse.

But now here you are.

In his dining room, enjoying dessert and some sort of after-meal coffee. In need of him…

This might almost have been a date, if not for the topic of conversation.

So. You want a Judge taken out. What if he’s already on my payroll?

Why would you keep a dead man in your pocket?

You like the sound of his laugh, and you don’t even have the excuse of wine to fall back on when it warms your core. Don’t admit it though, don’t say it aloud, don’t let him get an in. Be smart, cross your legs tighter, keep your eyes on the prize.

You’re so close to the finish line.

That’s a big favor you’re asking for, Counsel, I think you need to make it worth my while.

Worth your while?

I’m not a charity. And since you put the guy I usually use to handle these things behind bars for a few years—

You know I can get him out too.

That’s not payment, that’s putting things right.

You take a drink. Steady on, girl.

I’m leaving the DA’s office.

That stops him.

Oh that stops him good, and he looks fascinated. Interested. You’ve said something he can use as leverage and it’s not just about a job. That smirk on his face is smug and his eyes are darker and he has to know the impact that look has.

Can’t falter, don’t falter, don’t give in.

Am I allowed to ask why?

No.

You’ve done your research. You just don’t know why you’re thinking about it now. Steven Grant Rogers, “Captain America,” leader of a crime family that had too many names to stamp out, bolstered by a mad scientist, a military man through-and-through who turned New York into his own private base against whatever stood against his way.

Get in his good graces and you’re set for life. Get in his good graces and you’re safe, you’re protected, you’re good.

Get on his bad side and you only make that mistake once.

There are no second chances in this game, and here you are, asking for one.

So what? You leave the DA’s office, you leave yourself open to me — you think leaving New York is going to be the thing that stops me, Counsel?

No.

Then what?

Breathe. Steady.

I know you gave me that win on purpose — you could have taken out my last jury cohort. This isn’t about the four men… and you know I’ll get them out. This is something else, but I’m not here to ask about what or why.

He falters just briefly, like he’s surprised you knew, but the crack in his mask smooths itself over as soon as it forms and he’s back to watching you, nodding along in silence while you breathe and watch him and keep talking.

But even then. I got four of your guys in prison. And I know how your organization works — I subpoenaed the documents, remember? Your lawyers are good, but they’re not used to people asking the right questions. You want someone to seal up the cracks you need someone who actually knows what to look for.

You have more than his attention, you have his interest, and now he’s leaning in a little. Imperceptibly, but enough. Scanning over you from across the table, like he’s thinking how you managed to get so impertinent in the face of the likes of him but that’s the thing — when the only thing you have left to lose is your life, you’ll risk everything.

So what are you offering?

Breathe. Don’t. Stammer.

Myself.

The chair scrapes and suddenly there’s the clicking of guns, aimed and ready until his hand rises up and he stops them and he’s stalking towards you.

This is the lion’s den, sweetness.

The stakes are higher and you ought to be braver and he’s got your chin in his hand before you have a chance to react, dragging you to your feet. Do you know what you’re offering me, Counsel? Low and hissed and hungry, like those perfect teeth might be sinking into your throat in the next moment.

Oh, you have no idea.

You get me. On your payroll — you know. The offer you sent me a year ago.

You think it’s still open?

If it wasn’t, you wouldn’t have met with me.

The chuckle in your face makes your cheeks warm and you’re looking more flushed than you would like, the open shoulders of your dress suddenly feeling a lot more like a mistake the more you realize just what kind of meal he might make out of you tonight.

We might need to have a discussion about your workplace duties, Counsel.

You don’t notice the hand near your thigh until it’s too late, sliding up the soft fabric of your skirt until it’s squeezing your ass, until it’s jerking you towards him, until you’re pressed against his chest and the hand on your chin is now hooked around the back of your neck, thumb pushing your jaw until you’re forced to look at him. Won’t lie, when I woke up this morning, I certainly didn’t think my day would end like this, having your pretty little body in my arms,and you can look as indignant as you want but he’s got the upper hand and you only thought you were two steps ahead of him.

You think I haven’t thought about what it’d be like to put you in your place, Counsel? You’ve got a smart mouth — I wanna know what else it can do.

He doesn’t give you a chance to use that mouth to lash at him, lips sliding over yours, swallowing that indignant yelp with a punishing kiss. Nipping at the plushness of your lower lip until you open your mouth and yield to him with a sigh of reluctant surrender, let his tongue slide past that barrier for him to explore. He’s got his fingers wound through your hair, just a little too tight and whether the whimper in your chest is because of the pain or because of the want, he doesn’t care.

Knew you’d be sweet, Counsel… softly, when he pulls back to look at you, take a look at those love-swollen lips and your ruined lipstick, the pretty way you pant at him already, the heat burning your cheeks. Pay no attention to the slick warmth between your thighs, pay no attention to the way he makes you burn already, pay no attention to how your fingers have curled into the lapel of his coat to hold yourself steady, pay no attention to how you suddenly miss the pressure of his lips.

All that smart-talk and now you’re quiet, Counsel? F’I knew it just took a kiss to get you to shut up, I would’ve done that at trial, he’s purring in your ear, soft and sweet and you should push at his chest, so uncurl your fingers girl and push.

I didn’t say I was selling my body, there’s your harshness, and there he is, laughing at you again, the grip on your hair jerking your head back until you’re looking into those dagger-cold eyes again.

You don’t make the rules here, Counsel, I do, and you need me more than I need you. So if you want to make sure your Judge can’t start wreaking havoc on your career… you might want to get used to readjusting it for me. I promise I’ll make you feel nice, if you let me…

And if I don’t?

Then I take what I want and I don’t feel bad for not holding up my end of the bargain. Your choice, Counsel, you cum willingly and I’ll give you everything you want. Don’t, and it’ll hurt you more than it hurts me.

That’s not a threat, that’s a promise, and suddenly you’re more scared than you ever thought you’d be, wondering if you’ll need to sell another part of your soul to take him down after. How much of yourself will you put up as collateral to get justice for the wrongs you were never able to correct?

You’re afraid.

Oh sweetness, you’re afraid.

Here? Now?

No, Counsel, we’re gonna do this right, aren’t we? You wanna be in bed with me, I’ll take you to bed with me. Come on, say it. Say the word.

Say no. Say no, rail and fight, stamp your heels into the expensive leather of his shoes, jam your knee into the sensitive between his legs, scream and yell and tell him you will never let another man take advantage of you again to help you reach your goals. Do it. Do the thing you swore you would do the next time a man like him — men who think they can take anything from anyone, men who think they own the world and the women in it, men who think you aren’t strong enough to fight back — propositioned you just like this.

You’re selling your soul to get rid of a man just like this.

But that’s coiling heat in your core that wasn’t there the last time, was it? That’s want. That’s the realization that you like the way this predatory smile feels, that you like the way this one wants you. You’re not her, not scared and alone and helpless. You could fight back and run and maybe escape if you were lucky.

You could choose.

He’s let go of your hair to stroke your cheek with the backs of his fingers, soft and sweet, You gonna give me an answer, Counsel, or am I gonna have to take it?

Say something. Say no. Scream. Say no say no say no say— Yes.

It’s a whisper. A desperate, soft whisper. A helpless, lonely whisper. It’s enough.

He sweeps you around until you’re pressed with your back against his unyielding chest, feeling him flex with every movement, broad arm wrapped around your shoulders from the front. All of you are dismissed, and that’s when you remember there were others in the room with you. Others who just watched you concede to becoming Captain America’s newest plaything and the burn on your cheeks is more shame than lust. You pull at his arm briefly, futilely, earning a tighter hold for your efforts and a whispered don’t make me choke you, before you are half-walked, half-dragged out of the dining room.

The walk to his room is slow and agonizing as you’re pulled along, barely struggling but barely helping at the same time, tears sliding down your cheeks as you come to terms with what’s going to happen next — no one is going to save you tonight, no one’s going to interrupt and drag you out, this is your job and this is your place and here you are.

No one speaks. There’s no sound but the steady tap of your heels and his shoes on fine marble. Even your sobs are silent, even your breathing is muffled, until the stairs are traversed and the faintest click of a lock turning opens the door to the rest of your life.

You made a deal.

Time to pay.

Sit on the bed.

You move as if in a trance, and he watches your face, the hint of waterproof mascara failing to do its job, the smudged ruby red of your lipstick. Don’t give me that look, you knew what you were signing up for when you walked into this house, Counsel.

His hands are gentler than you’d expect, when he wipes away the streaks your tears leave down your pretty cheeks, coaxing you to look up at him, We’ll set ground rules later. Tonight? I wanna see if I can get that mouth of yours to beg for me.

It won’t, you snap without thinking, knifeblade sharp and cruel, ready for a fight again. He promised you that once, in a hiss you thought you’d misheard but no, you heard him just fine and now if he thinks he can quench your fire and have you pleading just because you sold your body for the prospect of revenge then he’s wrong.

Thing is, he laughs like that’s a challenge, and the hand holding your chin so gently is wrapped around your throat before you know it, silencing your voice with just the right application of pressure. I can do this all night, Counsel. Do you think you can last that long?

Fear. Anger. Indignation. You are fury made flesh and he is manipulating you with just the barest press of his palm and sliding over you, until you’re laid out there on soft sheets and he’s looming over you, splaying that big hand out and sliding it down your throat, over your chest, feeling the ruching of the fabric under his palm. You wrapped yourself up like a present for me, didn’t you sweetness?

The change in nickname isn’t lost on you but here you are, glaring up at him while he smiles so beatifically it leaves your blood boiling and your skin steadily warming. The rise and fall of your chest is hypnotic, every angry breath a swear you don’t utter, every inhale your protests dying in your throat. What can you say, what would you say, right now? There’s nothing that can change the way he looks at you, or the way his eyes flicker from ice to blue fire the more he takes stock of the pretty little thing he’s about to start sharing his bed with.

Fuck, you’re beautiful, that one shocks you, but not as much as the sudden rush of cold air when he tears the emerald green fabric of your dress down and reveals the soft swells of your breasts, nipples peaked from the sudden cold.

You don’t get much time to gasp, just something soft and strangled before he turns your voice to whimpers, wrapping lips around that pebbled tip and laving his tongue over sensitive flesh. Where are your words now, Counsel, while he threatens the softness of your chest with the scrape of his teeth, when he slides his hands over the round curve of your thighs and parts your legs so he can press himself between them, so he can press himselfagainst you? Where is the knife-dagger of your wit to protest each soft, suckling kiss to your skin, each press of his fingers like he could just squeeze his ownership of you into the plushness of your hips, into the sweet swell of your ass? What do you say to the dirty little thrust of his hips as he bucks with his own burning need, reminding you just how much this is for hispleasure as he will make it for yours.

You would, could, should push him off and instead what are you doing? Curling your fingers into the silk-smooth of his comforter, desperate to writhe out of your own skin away from the burning pressure between your thighs, the foreign, unfamiliar heat you suddenly feel like you might be craving.

Anyone ever touch you like this before me, Counsel?Warm breath splays across your skin when he questions you, eyes fixed on yours and he waits. Answer him, answer him, tell him he’s nothing, tell him you’ve had better, lie and destroy that ego, lie lie lie lie—

Nnnh—no.

He looks like you’ve just told him the best news of his life, eyes wide and blown with lust, Oh is that right? You’re saying no one’s ever touched you this good? Or just no one’s ever touched you at all?

You don’t have to answer. The furious blush on your cheeks? The way your eyes slide away from his? The way you writhe, trying to press your thighs together to relieve the pressure and finding the effort futile? If the man’s grin could get any wider, it would, right now. Oh sweetness, we’re going to have so much fun exploring your body together…

He pulls back just enough to take a look at you, already flushed and writhing and overwhelmed and if he could take a picture of this right now he would. He’ll save that for later though. Tonight? Tonight is just the two of you, and his hands are back to your skirt, pushing the tight fabric up over your round hips and revealing the lace of your panties… just before he rips them off, to the sound of your indignant yelp Steve!

You’re going to call me Captain, sweetness, we’re not close enough to use my name just yet.

No. No you’re not, and he’s not sure you’ll ever be — he rather likes the idea of hearing you whimper out his title when he gets you desperate and wanting.

He touches, slow and steady, watching you try to jerk away and tutting at you when you do, fingers at your delicate nerves like an assault on your pleasure. Bite your lip, bite back the moans, whine at him like he’s wounded you, You’re so wet, sweetness, you’re so desperate for me aren’t you, as he palms his cock to relieve the pressure on himself. You’re going to beg before he does and he’s patient, he’ll last the night.

St-stop it, it’s too— he shushes you ahtahtaht and rests his free hand on your mound, holding you down so his probing, inspecting fingers can take stock of the velveteen plushness of your delicate cunt. It’s too much, too much and you want to scream the moment he presses one finger into you, already overwhelmed, already so tightly wound the barest touches are unraveling you steadily.

You’re such a pretty thing, all desperate and needy, sweetness. You wanna cum already, don’t you? So busy, never gave anyone the chance to fuck that stuck-up bitch right out of you, did they? It’s almost pitying, isn’t it, the way he talks, hums at you while you’re reduced to a whining, whimpering mess so soon, so desperate for the release he’s on the edge of denying you, feeling you flexing around his finger and then the second leaping jolt of your body when another joins the inspection. Taking careful stock of the pretty cunt he owns now, and he’s careful to curl his fingers just right as he seeks the spot to hammer just to get you to scream.

You don’t, not yet, but that’s okay too, because he sees the way you take desperate hold of the sheets, the way your eyes roll backwards just slightly, the way you strain against his heavy hand to arch your back. Gotta tell you, sweetness, I imagined you under me a thousand and one ways but this one, right now? Tops the list. You ready to beg for me?

Do it. Do it and end your pleasurable torment. Do it and be released from the pressure, the coiling want. Surrender to him. Let him have you.

The white hot rush of your orgasm is not unexpected to him, his curling, cruel fingers having found the sweetness of your g-spot, but — you, too busy climbing the ranks to think of your own pleasure, too busy demanding your due from an unjust world explore your own warmth beyond that of a memory of a college hookup you would rather forget — you left breathless and wanton in the heat of the explosion he draws out of you, mewling something desperate and pleading against your own will and the song of it fills his ears like it’s all he’s ever wanted. There it is, and I thought we’d be here all night. A thumb flickers over the nerves at your entrance and you practically jump, something between a yelp and a moan escaping your lips.

First one’s just a treat, sweetness. Now on, you cum when I say you do, understand?

You nod.

Oh you nod, and you are lost, here and now. Sensitive and broken and there is so little of that steel spine here, writhing in his sheets and ohyou don’t know the things you do to him.

Think you can go again, sweetness? He’s purring, smug, twisting fingers stretching you slowly, muttering under his breath about how fucking tight you are around his fingers, how good you’re going to feel for him, and the smugness on his face is slowly fading into a dark consternation, brows furrowed like he’s somehow angry at you for being plush and delicate and fuckable.

You’re almost begging him to stop, and yet the pressure is building again, the twisting, coiling heat that leaves you breathless and mewling and he looks like he might be trying to immortalize this moment forever. Say it, sweetness. Say you need me. Beg me for my cock.

That’s it.

That’s what you need to, you need to beg, you need to give in. No more fighting, no more arguing no more —

Please…

Please what, sweetness, come on now. You got a way with words. The snarl is so barely contained.

Please, Captain, please just…

What do you need, sweetness? The fingers are relentless, the buzz in your nerves is overwhelming, you can barely even hear yourself talk, much less him.

Please just fuck me, Captain, I need your cock! It’s hurried and it’s crude and it’s desperate and it’s exactly what he wants as just another wall crumbles and you fall off your pedestal right into his arms.

He’s barely able to resist the buck of his hips, the need to be inside you, the knowledge that you are soft and velvet and you could be all over his senses just like this.

When did he free his cock? You don’t know, you just know it’s practically salvation when he sinks into you, when he fills you like you’ve been desperate for and Oh sweetness…pours from his lips just as you hiss out something like praise right back at him.

You’re so full and he’s so gentle, at first, like you’re made of crystal in his arms, like the slow shifting of his hips might have you shattering underneath him if he’s not careful. Cradling you, even, sliding your legs around his narrow hips as he leans in and takes a hungry kiss from your wanting, whimpering mouth.

Love this look on you, all wrapped around me, whispered low and slow into your ear, sweetness you have no idea how good you look…

Melt into those compliments, melt into him, because the way he’s holding you is divine and you can feel him so deep in you it’s making your head spin. When did your arms end up around him? When did you start clinging to him like an anchor, start winding your fingers through his hair, start leaving the marks of your nails on his back to the sound of his own needy groaning?

He noses your cheek and leaves a mark of ownership on your neck with hungry lips, knowing you’ll bruise a beautiful flower right over your pulsebeat and continuing the steady assault on your nerves, cunt-first.

Harder. Faster. More.

And oh, sweetness, you do shatter.

You shatter all around him, you shatter into something divine and rapturous, full of him and filled with him and he cums so deep inside you as you do, still fucking you through your joined climax, hips rutting and breath hitching and nearly furious at you for the way his vision whites out too, the way he feels like he can Never get enough and so he hisses that at you like an accusation while his thoughts reorient back to reality, back to smugness, back to the control you took from him while he tried to strip you of yours.

In the end, as he pulls away from you and sinks to the side of you, watching your sweet expression as you return to the reality of your new situation, he is satisfied… thoroughly.

Oh yeah, I think we can make this a working relationship, Counsel.

[robininthelabyrinth]

We’ve heard Jiang Fengmian as WWX’s bio father, now it’s time for Lan Qiren as secretly his father. (Please no Wangxian for this one!)

ao3

“You want me to what,” Lan Qiren said.

“Be the father of my child,” Cangse Sanren said. Simply and straightforwardly, as if that were just a thing people said.

Casually.

To their friends.

To their – as far as he knew – platonic friends!

“You’re married,” he stressed.

“Yes, Qiren-xiong, I’m aware,” Cangse Sanren said, her eyes bright with mirth. “I was even there through some of the festivities. Though not all, of course, since the bride gets sent away far too early at these things, and of course then there was all the liquor –”

“Cangse Sanren,” Lan Qiren said through gritted teeth, wishing not for the first time that his friend had an actual name rather than merely a title – something he could use or not use to emphasize his feelings on the subject.

She laughed at him, because of course she did.

“Let me explain,” she said, probably because she sensed that he was considering stabbing her if she didn't. “Lao Wei and I –”

“Aren’t you older than he is?” Lan Qiren asked, dubious. “Possibly by several centuries?”

“Humans call their husbands that,” Cangse Sanren said, waving her hands at him. “Don’t bother me with details.”

“…you’re human, right?”

“Of course! This is the fourth time you’ve asked, and the answer hasn’t changed. Why would you ever think otherwise?”

“The way that you continuously refer to – no, I’m not letting you distract me this time. Explain yourself!”

Cangse Sanren giggled into her sleeve. “We want children,” she said. “But he can’t, you see. Wrong parts. So we need someone else to be the sire, and I want it to be you.”

“Why?”

More giggling. “Because I like you. And why not?”

“And Wei Changze agreed to this?” Lan Qiren asked, slightly appalled. He knew Cangse Sanren well enough to assume that the answer had to be yes, and yet still...

“Yes, he did, but you’re welcome to talk with him directly. In fact, I encourage it.”

“Perhaps I will,” Lan Qiren said.

Wei Changze was a pleasant person, even if he and Lan Qiren weren’t direct friends – Lan Qiren was a bit too inflexible and serious, Wei Changze a little too free-spirited and light-hearted, so they’d never entirely bonded, but they were both very fond of Cangse Sanren in all her strangeness, each in their own way, and that was enough of a basis for a decent relationship.

“I’d be honored if you would agree,” Wei Changze said when Lan Qiren asked. “You’re my wife’s favorite person besides me – why not you?”

Lan Qiren could think of many, many reasons why not.

“I don’t want to impact your relationship with her,” he said cautiously, and Wei Changze blinked at him as if to say how would it do that? “If jealousy were to arise…”

“I don’t think that will be a problem,” Wei Changze said.

“…you understand that if I agree to your proposal, I would be sleeping with your wife.”

“Oh yes,” Wei Changze said. “Several times, I hope. We've got to make sure it takes, after all. On that note, can I watch?”

Lan Qiren was a man aware of his dignity. It was beneath his dignity to flail around like a teenager.

He flailed regardless.

“You don’t have to let me if you don’t want to,” Wei Changze said, but he was pouting. “I guess. I just think it’d be hot, that’s all.”

Lan Qiren put his head in his hands.

“You’re bright red,” Wei Changze observed. “Does that mean you’ll do it?”

“I don’t even like Cangse Sanren that way,” Lan Qiren said, voice muffled by his palms. “I mean, I like her, but I don’t – like her. Romantically. At all.”

“And I’m very happy about that,” Wei Changze said soothingly. “As is she, being as she married me and not you. You don’t need to have romantic or even sexual feelings about her, you just need to platonically bang her a few times.”

“…I will do it provided you never refer to it that way ever again.”

“Deal,” Wei Changze said, and grinned, waving his wife in through the door; she bounded in like a lion on the hunt, smelling blood.

“Additionally, we should be clear about what we expect regarding the child,” Lan Qiren said, even though he was already being carted along to the bed by Cangse Sanren’s excessive momentum and Wei Changze’s entirely unnecessary assistance in removing his clothing. “Obviously any child will be yours in every respect, legally and emotionally and otherwise, both of you, but if possible I would still like to see him –”

“Of course,” Cangse Sanren said agreeably, removing his pants. “Whenever you like.”

-

“Something is wrong,” Lan Qiren said firmly.

Yu Ziyuan scowled at him, even as her husband frowned thoughtfully. “Cangse Sanren is a rogue cultivator,” she said acidly. “It is not unusual for rogue cultivators to go a few months without contacting their friends in the cultivation world.”

“We have an agreement that she would come by once every season or else send word. She has not missed a single instance, and yet now she does.”

“Why would she agree to meet so regularly with you? We barely see her once a year, if that,” Yu Ziyuan asked, and Lan Qiren knew her issues with Cangse Sanren were actually issues with Jiang Fengmian, but it still irritated him to be used as a pawn in their troubled marriage.

“If you do not intend to help me search, then just say so,” he said heavily. “I fear that something has happened to her, and I intend to find her; I would like your help, but will proceed without it if need be. If all is well and she just decided not to come, and also not to send word or any other sign, then I will apologize for the inconvenience and repay you any monies expended. But if not…”

“I will help,” Jiang Fengmian said, and Yu Ziyuan looked on the verge of exploding.

“I’ll leave you to sort that out,” Lan Qiren said, shaking out his sleeves and leaving at once. As per their agreement, Cangse Sanren brought Wei Ying to the Cloud Recesses once every season or else sent word explaining her absence – the lack of any word this time was deeply troubling. After all, in the end, despite Cangse Sanren’s relatively humble goals and low-key life, there was always that doom said to be associated with those who left the immortal mountain…

He worried.

He’d planned to tell Cangse Sanren about He Kexin’s death during her present visit, had hoped that Wei Ying’s presence might help lift Lan Zhan’s mood after the loss of his mother and give him some comfort – Wei Ying was Lan Zhan’s favorite person in all the world, bar none, and he had waited so anxiously, if wordlessly, for him to arrive during the month that they expected Cangse Sanren and her family to come. And yet the days ticked by and he didn’t arrive at all…

Lan Qiren worried.

Still, with Jiang Fengmian’s help, and of course the Nie sect’s – Lao Nie hadn’t hesitated to agree, even though unlike Jiang Fengmian he did not have a personal connection to either Cangse Sanren or Wei Changze and was acting wholly on account of his friendship with Lan Qiren – they would be able to cover a great deal of the cultivation world, especially given that Cangse Sanren disliked both Lanling Jin and Qishan Wen and was unlikely to venture into either of their territories.

They would find her.

He hoped that they would find her.

-

“Well, that was a meeting full of revelations,” Lao Nie said, eyes curved into crescents of mirth. “The only thing that would have made it better is if you’d ended your sentence with ‘so fuck off’. You know, so that it would’ve been ‘Because he’s my biological son, so fuck off’.”

“It isn’t anyone else’s business,” Lan Qiren said querulously. “I don’t consider him my son – he’s Wei Changze’s son! His surname is Wei for a reason! The exact mechanics of his conception are private-”

“Are they? Too bad, I’d have liked to hear about it.”

“Lao Nie!”

“What? It’d be hot.”

“Wei Changze said the same thing,” Lan Qiren grumbled. “What is wrong with all you people? Anyway, that was not my point; we can discuss your sexual titillation later. My point is that Wei Ying should not have a shadow cast over his parentage – I should not have had to reveal that fact at any point.”

“You had no choice,” Lao Nie said, not without sympathy. “Given that Wei Changze was a former disciple of the Lotus Pier, Jiang Fengmian had the better claim to custody absent that fact. Never mind that you were Cangse Sanren’s close friend, or that they came to visit you more often; never mind that Yu Ziyuan is to this day only barely able to restrain her jealousy and hatred of the pair of them and would be made miserable by the boy’s presence on the Lotus Pier, and possibly make his life miserable in return; never mind that Jiang Fengmian already grossly favors the boy over his own children, a surefire recipe for disaster…you had to say what you said, Qiren. Wei Ying will be better off at the Cloud Recesses.”

“He’ll be a disaster at the Cloud Recesses,” Lan Qiren said, rubbing his temples. “He’s as free-spirited as his parents were. That’s the only hesitation I have…if it weren’t for all the other things you mentioned, Yu Ziyuan’s jealousy and the favoritism and all that, I would think he’d be better off among the Jiang.”

“He will make a very unique Lan,” Lao Nie acknowledged. “But he’ll be an adopted cousin to your nephews, and they’ll grow up as brothers. A-Zhan will be delighted.”

“Yes,” Lan Qiren said, acknowledging the point. At least there was that. “Yes, he will.”

“Maybe I’ll have a talk with Jiang Fengmian,” Lao Nie said, more to himself than Lan Qiren. “That poor Jiang boy, no one deserves to grow up with a real-life person being ‘another person’s child’. Perhaps I’ll see about inviting the boy over to the Unclean Realm more often. A-Sang could use a playmate…”

-

“You’re weird for a Lan,” Jiang Cheng said.

“That’s because I’m not a Lan,” Wei Wuxian laughed. “I’m a Wei! Lan Zhan’s a Lan, Xichen-da-ge is a Lan, but I’m not. Don’t let the white robes mislead you.”

Jiang Cheng coughed. “That’s not – what I meant.”

Wei Wuxian blinked at him.

“Well,” Jiang Cheng said, abruptly looking extremely awkward. “Your father’s a Lan, isn’t he? Teacher Lan.”

“Oh, that! No, he’s not. Easy mistake to make,” Wei Wuxian assured him. “Lots of people think that, what with me knowing the Lan sect rules backwards and forwards and upside down – mostly so that I can haggle my punishments down when I break them, that's how I learn them best – but actually I’m Wei Changze’s son.”

Jiang Cheng’s face was red. “But…my dad said…”

“He helped,” Wei Wuxian conceded, tapping his nose meaningfully. “That’s why I’m so pretty! But Wei Changze was the one that wanted me, Wei Changze’s the one who gave me his surname; it’s his grave I sweep during Qingming. If you like, you can think of me as having been adopted into the Wei family; that’s common enough, isn’t it?”

“I guess so,” Jiang Cheng said, blinking. And then he said, sounding doubtful, “Do you really know all those rules?”

“All of them! You have no idea how much trouble you can make with a good set of rules.” Wei Wuxian grinned. “Want to see?”

“I – can we?”

“No,” Nie Mingjue said, stepping into the room. He looked tired, as always, but Wei Wuxian thought that there was never a time when he didn’t, certainly ever since he became sect leader too early. Lan Xichen was always worrying about him, and Lan Qiren, too, and since they were worried, Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji had figured they might as well get in on the action. “Not in the Unclean Realm you can’t. Save it for the Lotus Pier, since the Cloud Recesses are too wise to you now.”

“No one is truly wise to my wicked ways,” Wei Wuxian boasted, and Nie Huaisang poked his head out from behind Nie Mingjue’s back and waved – he’d been dragged away to saber training, leaving Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng to try to make friends without him. Without Lan Wangji, too, which was even more unfair; how was Wei Wuxian supposed to represent the gentle snow and wild wind without his other half?

Stupid seclusion. Wei Wuxian was with his uncle in disliking it even when it was necessary.

Though Jiang Cheng was kind of cool…

-

“This is,” Lan Qiren informed Cangse Sanren’s memorial tablet, “entirely your fault.”

Despite her son’s newfound demonic cultivation skills – or his taste for revenge: he had taken the burning of the Cloud Recesses very personally, and the attack on the Lotus Pier, and so on his best friend Jiang Cheng, very nearly as badly, and that, somehow, had inspired him in new and even more uncontrolled ways – there was no response from the grave.

And yet, somehow, Lan Qiren suspected that he could hear her laughing at him.