"Nothing happened in the way I wanted, every corner of this house is haunted, and I know you said that we're not talkin', but I miss you, I'm sorry..." -Gracie Abrams
it's my third grade's best friend's birthday today. i don't think i’d wish her, i don't think i can. silly right? how we used to bffs in third grade and now we miss out each others birthdays? we still know each other. and that's all. we just 'know' each other even though we don't. we never had a fight, she has never been unkind to me but just like how you fall out of love, you fall out of friendship too and we fell out. we're in the same class this year and we see each other everyday but neither of us knows anyone's secret, not even one, not even each others favourite subjects. i know the kind of music she likes and she knows mine. i know she likes stickers, she liked stickers. i still draw on her hands and she still likes my hair and we still make jokes about each other but stupid me can't wish her a birthday because i dont know what to write except for just a wish with two words. i don't have a paragraph for her. i never did for eight years. and i see everyone i know, wishing her, even the ones she just met six months ago. so, why is it so fucking hard for me to just wish someone? why am i so fucking sad and miserable? sometimes i wish time was reversible and we all could go back to our favourite moments. and fuck i miss her so much! so damn much but there's nothing we can do now, can we? well maybe when everyone's perfect we can start over again :(
happy birthday a. i love you and i miss you, forever.