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Guys when I first took my hedgehog to the vet for his checkup the place was asking for his birthday. And I don't know his exact date of birth and couldn't ask the people I got him from because they'd just retired, so I checked the day I got him and went back how many weeks old I knew he was and picked a random date that week. So that was a long while ago and I just got an email from the vet saying happy birthday to my boy. I did not realize I had set it for today. It is also Sonic the Hedgehog's birthday today.
Anyway I completely coincidentally declared that my hedgehog was born on Sonic's birthday
#this is hilarious to me and i am delighted#i must have also gotten the same thing last year but i didn't realize it was sonic's birthday too!!!#fucking hilarious#axel the hedgehog#<- my son#let us not ignore the fact that he could have legit been born today i am not sure#but it is possible
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Summary: Spring brings with it the need for a change. You're in a writing rut and that just can't happen right now. You decided to spend a few months with your aunt at her massive garden estate. for the first time in 10 years. Dreams of a boy you don't remember become a nightly thing. Who is this boy?
Pairing: Hongjoong x fem!reader
Genre: fluff, angst, smut, fantasy
AU/Trope: long lost friends to lovers, a twist on The Secret Garden
Word count: 12,295
Warnings: parental death, themes of curses, talks of insanity, mentions of kidnapping, a horrible old woman, threats. I think that's all but it's also 2 am so brain a little fuzzy. NSFW warnings under the cut
A/N: This is for the Language of Flowers event for @cultofdionysusnet I really did put everything I have into this fic. It has taken me a while and I will probably revisit this later since I didn't get everything I wanted in here. Thank you to @kwanisms for making the title banner and reading bits and pieces of this. @anyamaris @pyeonghongrie @justhere4kpop @stardragongalaxy also helped me with reading some of this. Thank you guys for putting up with the screenshots and eye emojis.
Smut warnings: unprotected sex (do not do, I will hunt you down), fingering, dry humping, so much kissing, Hongjoong is king of aftercare, virgin Hongjoong, there's no power dynamic here, they’re just soft
Walking into the courtyard of your aunt’s estate was like walking back into a long lost memory. You spent many summers here as a child and while it had been some of the best times of your life, as you had gotten older, the trips stopped. Once you began to transcend into your older teen years, the allure of the massive mansion and grounds lost its appeal. You stopped coming when you were 15. You remember that there was a specific reason why, you just couldn’t remember what that reason was.
You closed the large iron gate behind you, listening as it made a loud creak. The gate was covered in rust, which was unusual since your aunt was a very meticulous woman. She had to have everything in perfect condition at all times. At least, that was how she was the last time you had seen her 10 years ago. From the phone call you shared, she seemed to still be the same woman she had always been. She may be older, but she still has the same fiery spirit she’s always had. You guess that was where you got it from.
In all honesty, you have never been overly close with your aunt. You loved her, sure, but she was kind of a mean woman. She was quite a few years younger than your father, 11 to be exact, so she wasn’t elderly when you were a child. She seemed to be a little miserable your entire life, though you were too young to realize that at the time. Thinking back on it now, you realized that your aunt had any possession she could ever want, but you had never seen her have a companion of any sort. No women from the nearby town ever came to visit, and you had never seen a man, other than Steven the gardener, ever pass through the gates. You knew that no one needed anyone of the opposite sex to make their lives better, but you also knew that she must live a lonely life.
The real reason you fell in love with coming to stay the summers was the grounds. The estate was massive. Many times you had spent all day wandering around the grounds, just exploring everything your heart yearned for. You knew you had a favorite spot when you were younger, but its location was another thing slipping your mind. You’d have to make a mental note to try and find your special spot.
The old door is silent as you open in and step inside. That’s one thing that hasn’t changed. A quick glance around the foyer lets you know that not much inside the house has changed either. There are still the same two blue and white flowered vases standing on either side of the door, holding the same kind of lilies they had always held. The small table that held the rotary phone was still in the same place at the base of the stairs, rotary phone still sat atop. Even the curtains were the same. A light sage in color, small embroidered flowers running down the fabric.
Flowers were always a large part of the decor of your aunt’s home. Each guest room in the house was themed with a different flower. There were numerous gardens spread throughout the grounds, some with mixed plants and some that only grew a particular plant. You knew flowers were really important to your aunt, though every time your curious child tendencies come forward, she would only give a stiff smile and tell you that flowers were beautiful and a woman of her standing deserved to have beauty all around her. Looking back, you can see how forced her smile had been.
“Aunt Helen!” Your voice rang throughout the empty home, surprising even yourself at just how loud your voice carried. You had been told to come right in and make yourself at home, but it didn’t feel right. Not only had you not been here in ten years after abruptly deciding that you didn’t want to return for the summer of your 16th year, but you had also called her out of nowhere to ask if you could spend some time there. Her side of the line had been silent for a few moments before she told you that there shouldn’t be an issue with you coming, but it still felt like she wasn’t sure about her decision.
You hear footsteps coming from the top of the stairs and you turn to face the stairway with a smile. Helen comes around the corner, her face showing no emotion as she looks down at you. “Y/N. How nice to see you, dear.” Her voice is pleasant enough, though her face is still blank. You guess you must have hurt her by your sudden refusal to come back during your teen years, and then surprised her with an equally sudden request to return. You try to shake the thought from your head, making sure to keep your smile. “Thank you so much for letting me spend the next few months here. I know it was a sudden request, but I think it will really do me some good.”
The last year of your life had been hectic to say the least. You moved from your home on the outskirts of the city to the city proper to be closer to publishers. You had always wanted to be a writer. You could remember always having notebooks full of stories as a child. You had hid them away in any room you could find. By the time you turned 16, you had probably filled 50 notebooks. Like many children, the stories were fantastical and some were nonsense, but it was the process of writing that you enjoyed. Bringing whatever idea that had popped into your head to life was an addiction to you.
Helen’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts, making you focus your attention back on the aging lady who was now making her way down the stairs. “It’s no problem at all, dear. There’s no one here but me and Steven, so there’s plenty of room.” Her feet stop in front of you as she lifts her arms toward you for a hug. You quickly drop your bags, scrambling to return her gesture as quickly as you can. The hug is an awkward one. Arms are around middles, but there is a gap between bodies. To anyone looking from a distance, it would seem as if you two don’t even know each other. But, at this time in your life, that’s essentially true. The hug breaks apart almost as soon as it begins, both of you taking a step back to put some distance between you.
“I’m sure you’ve had a long trip. Go ahead and choose your room and get settled. Though, I’m sure you’ll choose the gardenia room. It always was your favorite.” A smile creeps to your lips at the mention of your childhood choice of room. She was right about it. That room had been your favorite. “Do you still have the gardenia garden, Aunt Helen?” The look on her face takes you aback a little. For a split second, she looks angry. She quickly changes her expression to one of confusion. “Oh dear, there’s never been a garden dedicated solely to gardenias. However, there are some planted in one of the rose gardens. Maybe that is what you’re thinking of.” It’s your turn to be confused. You distinctly remember playing in a garden full of nothing but gardenias.
You don’t want to argue, there is a chance that you created that memory as one of your stories, so you give her a nod as you tell her that you’re going to go get settled. You grab your bags, though you didn’t bring many, the three that you do have are large and filled to the brim. Making your way up the stairs is a little tricky since there are 20 of them in total, but you manage. Turning left at the top of the stairs, you pick up your pace a little, excited to get to your room. It sits at the end of the hall on the right side. You take a deep breath as you set your bags down to open the door, making sure to open it slowly so you get the wave of nostalgia that you know will come with seeing the room for the first time in years.
Seeing the room is like a breath of fresh air. It feels like coming home after a long day of work, knowing that relaxation and happiness are waiting for you. It almost makes you want to cry. You leave your bags at the door for a moment, you just need to feel the room first. There are fresh gardenias in a small, white vase on the bedside table. That has always been one of your favorite smells and it makes your heart flutter when it hits your nose. The king size bed has the same white and green bed set it’s always had. The handmade quilt, certainly not made by your aunt, is the color of grass and has gardenias sewn into the fabric. You run your hand over the top of the quilt, memories of spending nights completely enveloped in the warmth of the fabric as you write in one of the many notebooks you always brought with you.
There’s an oak writing table that stands in front of the large bay window that overlooks an area that looks different than the rest of the estate. It looks more run down, like it hadn’t been taken care of in years. You could have sworn that it was once a beautiful garden that you had spent much of your time in. It hits you that you seem to remember that patch of land being your favorite spot, but it doesn’t seem like that is true.
You turn your attention to the wallpaper. It gives a little more color to the room. The background of the paper is a soft yellow while images of gardenia bushes cover the rest. All perfectly spaced out, just like you know Helen had wanted. You finally decided to grab your bags and start to put your things away, a little more pep in your step. You’re more than excited to be back in this room, where it seems like all of your story ideas seemed to have formed. You feel as if you had the greatest idea for a story while staying here over those summers, but it’s just another thing you can’t remember. Perhaps it will come back with time. You certainly need it to come back.
After all of your things are put away, you make your way back down the stairs to familiarize yourself with the house again. You’re sure that it will all come flooding back, but you’d rather get the learning process over now to prevent any future issues. The sitting room is off to the left of the stairs, through a doorway, the dining room is off to the right. Deciding to look through the left side of the house first, you make your way into the sitting room. The same old couches and chairs adorn the room, though they still look like they’ve never been used. You guess that there’s a chance that they haven’t. The fireplace stands tall and clean, another thing you’re sure Helen has never used. There are multiple tables placed around the room, all made with dark, polished wood.
To the left there’s another doorway, this one leading into the sunroom. Wicker chairs are placed a few feet from each other, a small table in between each chair. You remember spending your time here when the rain prevented you from your outdoor adventures. You’d sit on the floor since the chairs were always uncomfortable, writing your heart out. You sure wish you could find where those notebooks had gone. The back half of the first floor is Steven’s quarters. He’s always been a nice man, but he keeps to himself and you respect that.
Making your way back through the sitting room, you take a second to look out of the small window that sits on the front of the house. Gardens fill your field of view. More gardens than you ever thought a person could have. You feel certain that Helen has a garden for every flower she could possibly grow.
The dining room houses a table long enough to sit around 14 people, though you know nowhere near that many people have even been in the house. Like everything else, it’s a dark, polished wood. Helen is nothing but consistent in her design choices. The kitchen sits behind a set of double doors, which are painted a pristine white, no doubt kept clean by the lack of traffic. Helen has to have a maid that comes and cleans at some point, there’s no way she’d ever stoop so low as to clean herself. You already know what the kitchen will look like, large stoves and ovens that could cook meals for an obscene amount of people. Your watch tells you that it will be dark soon so you put off your plan of going out to the gardens until tomorrow.
Helen is nowhere to be seen, though you aren’t surprised. She’s always been a mysterious woman, keeping to herself much like Steven. A rumbling from your stomach lets you know that you should probably eat, which means that you have to actually venture into the kitchen. Opening the doors, you’re surprised to find a portly woman rummaging through some pans. “Oh. I didn’t realize someone was in here. Usually Steven is the only staff that stays here at the mansion.” Your voice seems to startle the woman, causing her to hit her head on the cabinet she was looking in. She lets out a groan as she rubs the back of her head. “Fuck! Shit! Damn! I am so sorry!” You aren’t sure if you mean to curse, but it happens anyway. The lady turns to face you, a bright smile on her face. “It’s ok, really. I probably would have done that even if you hadn’t startled me.” The giggle she lets out after speaking is infectious, making you giggle along with her. “I’m Julia.” You take her outstretched hand and give it a firm shake. “I’m Y/N. Helen is my aunt.”
You watch as Julia’s expression sours and you’re half expecting it to bounce back, but it doesn’t. “Didn’t know that mean, old broad had family.” She immediately seems to realize what she said since her eyes go wide and she looks a little panicked. “Oh, shoot! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean that. Ms. Helen is lovely.” Her nervous giggle and her flustered state makes you smile. “Hey, you’re the one that works here and spends more time here than I do. Your opinion of her is probably more accurate than mine. I haven’t seen her since I was 15.” She heaves a sigh of relief at your blatant uncaring attitude towards her unkind words about your aunt. “Whew. Thought I really made a mess of things there. Can I get you something to eat?” You give her a shake of your head, telling her that you were just refamiliarizing yourself with the house before you head up to your room. She gives you a little nod and a smile, telling you that she’ll be heading home soon, but she’ll be back the next morning for breakfast.
The bed in the gardenia room looks like heaven as you walk through the door. Maybe the trip hit you harder than you expected or maybe it’s just being back here, but your eyes are suddenly heavy and all you want is to sleep. No alarm, no designated time to wake up, just sleep as long as your body needs. You take your time changing into your pajamas and washing your face and brushing your teeth before climbing between the sheets and stretching out. It hits you that you haven’t let your mother know that you arrived safely, so you pull out your phone to type out a quick text. Annoyance comes over you as you look at the screen. No service, of course. You should have known, you are in the middle of nowhere after all. You make the decision to call her from Helen’s phone tomorrow. You wiggle a little, making yourself comfortable and set your phone back on the bedside table, not even bothering to charge it. Flicking the lamp off, you quickly fall into a sleep filled with dreams of a boy with a dazzling smile.
You wake up feeling more rested than you have felt in years. The sun is already high in the sky when you crawl out of bed and shuffle to the bathroom. You settle for a simple sundress to wear for the day, grabbing a cardigan just in case you get a chill. Today, you explore the gardens. Breakfast is being put away when you make your way into the dining room. Luckily, Julia spots you and greets you with a smile and a wave. “Morning, sunshine. I saved you a plate. I put it in the microwave for you.” You release a breath you didn’t realize you were holding, your stomach growling at the mention of food. You follow her into the kitchen, reaching into the microwave to grab the plate of blueberry pancakes and bacon and involuntarily let out a moan. “These are my favorite. How did you know?” Julia gives you a sly smile. “A certain gardener told me.” Steven? There’s no way he remembered that. You haven’t seen him in years. The look on your face must give your thoughts away. “That man remembers everything. It’s insane, really. So, what are your plans for the day?”
The sundress was a great choice. The weather is wonderful. It’s not too hot, not too cold, the perfect balance fornthe spring. There’s a light breeze blowing, enough to keep you cool, but not make you cold. It’s the perfect day for exploring. You stand by the steps, looking around trying to figure out where to go first. After some thought, you decided to start with the daisy garden. It took some time for you to orient yourself, but you managed more quickly than you thought you would, though most of the layout seemed like muscle memory to you.
The daisies were off to the left of the grounds, tall hedges sounding the garden. That was something universal with the gardens. Every garden had hedges all the way around it, Helen’s way of making sure that to be able to fully see the garden, you had to actually enter the garden. Every hedge was neatly trimmed, Steven’s doing you’re sure. Taking your time, you slowly maneuvered your way through the garden. Daisies of every color surrounded you, some you were sure were some sort of hybrid or something. Helen seemed to have flowers in colors you had never seen before. There was a patch of what looked like a peach color, and it honestly took your breath away.
In the center of the garden, there was a stone bench that gave a good view of the hedge lion that stood in front of you. You weren’t sure you’d ever not be amazed by Steven’s gardening skills. Every garden seemed to be like it came right out of a fairy tale. The thought of why Helen never opened the grounds to onlookers crossed your mind as you stared at the beauty of the daisy garden, but you quickly dismissed it. Helen was a selfish woman, you wouldn’t dream of denying that. There was no way she would share the possession most dear to her with anyone that she wasn’t related to. You also weren’t sure anyone would come. Your aunt had a bit of a reputation for being a rude woman.
A memory of going to town on your last summer here came to the forefront of your mind. Helen had taken you to town with her for some reason or another. She rarely made trips into town so you had been excited for the journey. Everyone seemed to move out of the way as Helen walked by. At the time, you hadn’t thought much of it, assuming that they were just being polite. Thinking back on it now, it seemed like they had been afraid of her. It was like they were living in fear of even being perceived by her.
You had heard them whispering, and if Helen had heard she hadn’t let on. You hadn’t been able to make out much of what they had been saying, mostly just ‘witch’ and ‘old Mrs. Kim.’ That brought back another memory. On your rare trips into town, you had heard old Mrs. Kim mentioned numerous times. Mostly when mothers were disciplining their children for being out late. “I told you to be back here by dusk! Do you want me to end up like old Mrs. Kim?” You hadn’t been, and still weren’t, sure what that meant. Other times, it had been when two women were talking, usually one insinuating that the other was crazy. “You’re acting like old Mrs. Kim, you need to get your head on straight.” You made a mental note to ask Helen who Mrs. Kim had been.
The sun was starting to be a bit much for you, though it wasn’t unbearably hot, you were starting to get a bit uncomfortable. Heaving yourself off of the bench, you made your way back through the garden, still taking your time. The entrance to the garden gave you another flash of memory. A vision of you running as fast as you could, white dress flowing with each step you made. You couldn’t have been more than 9. There was a smile on your face, and it made you smile just seeing the memory. Past you ran towards the run down part of the grounds, but the memory faded as you reached your destination. You shook your head as the image of yourself disappeared, your feet automatically carrying you back to the house. You’d make it to investigate the dilapidated garden. Eventually.
Climbing the stairs to the front porch, the urge to sit in one of the rocking chairs hit you. You smiled to yourself before making your way inside and to the kitchen. You were sure Julia must have made some tea or lemonade, maybe both. Pushing the doors to the kitchen open, the smell of food invaded your nostrils and you gave a pleased hum. “You took longer than I thought you would. It's been about 3 hours.” That explains the sun. You gave her a toothy grin as you made your way to the fridge. “Any chance you have tea or lemonade in here?” The woman gave you a smirk before she spoke. “Both.” You knew it.
Planting yourself in one of the rocking chairs, you sipped your drink. The mix of tea and lemonade was as refreshing and you had hoped. Your thoughts wandered without control. Who had you been running to? Your mind drifted back to the dream you had the night before. The boy with the dazzling smile. Who was he? He seemed so familiar to you, but you couldn't quite place where you knew him from. Maybe he had been a playmate from town. But then again, that didn't make any sense. You were barely in town as a child and even when you were, you never spoke to anyone.
The creaking of the door brought you out of your thoughts. You turned, expecting Julia to walk through, perhaps taking a small break while the food was in the oven. Instead, Steven's form greeted you. “Steven! It's been a long time, how have you been?” Your voice seemed to startle the man since his head whipped in your direction, eyes a little wide. He relaxed once he realized that you were the one speaking. “It's good to see you again, Miss Y/N.” Your face scrunched at the title. He had always called you that and you had always hated it.
“I've told you a thousand times, just call me Y/N. Miss Y/N makes me feel old and like you're below me or something. Helen may like that, but I'm not Helen.” Steven gave you a soft smile as he made his way to sit in the chair to your left. “No can do, Miss Y/N. I'm a gentleman with manners.” The statement made you laugh and give him a playful swat on the arm. “The most gentleman to ever gentleman, Steven.”
The two of you sat in silence for a while, enjoying each other's presence. Steven had never been the most talkative, but he had always been comforting. He listened to your childish ramblings all those years ago, nodding his head and gasping when you said something dramatic. He was a friend to you and you loved him for that.
It was Steven who finally broke the silence, surprisingly. “It sure has been quite lonely without having your visits, Miss Y/N. Glad to have you back. The gardens need you.” You gave him a bright smile, though you were sure that the gardens were thriving in his perfectly capable hands. “Steven, these gardens need no one but you. They're only this beautiful because of the time and care you put into them.” The look on his face was a little somber as he spoke again. “I appreciate it, Miss Y/N, but you and your heart are more needed than you realize. But you will remember in time.” With that, he stood and walked off into the grounds, leaving you rather confused.
The sun was starting to set by the time you went back into the house. Your stomach was starting to growl, and you were sure dinner was close to being ready, if it wasn't already finished. Helen was descending the stairs as you made your way through the front door. “Dear, dinner is ready and you look a bit of a mess.” She glanced down at your hands and legs, which prompted you to look as well. You did have a bit of dirt on your skin. “Go wash up before you join me.”
Helen had always been this way, a bit rude. You flashed her a tight smile, nodding as you made your way to your room. Stepping through the door of your special sanctuary, you heaved a sigh of relief. The room just felt lighter than the rest of the house. You made quick work of undressing and showering, a bit eager to get food into your body. Once you were bathed and dressed, you stepped out into the hall, not noticing the notebook sitting on your bedside table.
Dinner passed slowly. There wasn't much conversation, though the food was amazing. Julia had made roast and potatoes with a side salad, and you were sure you had never tasted a roast so tender and full of flavor. Voices from the kitchen could barely be heard, Julia and Steven no doubt. You wished you could retreat through the doors and eat with them, their company would be much more welcome than Helen’s. She had finished her food already, but had always been adamant that everyone be finished before anyone left the table.
“Dear.” Her voice caused you to meet her gaze, which was hardened. “While I am pleased to have you back, I must ask why the sudden wish to return.” You knew this would come up eventually. You took a deep breath, thinking through your words carefully. “I needed a break from city life. I have hit a wall with my writing. Being here always gave me new and wonderful ideas. I thought it might help.” Your aunt gave you a curt nod, dabbing at her mouth with a napkin even though she hadn't eaten anything. “Well, if you're done, I'll retire to my room now.” The sliding of her chair filled the quiet room as she turned and made her way to the stairs.
The bed was comfortable as you fell onto it. You weren't particularly tired, but it felt nice to lay down. Steven’s words from earlier swirled through your head. He obviously knew something you didn't, but you also knew that trying to pry would get you nowhere. Out of habit, you turned to grab your phone, mentally cursing yourself when you remembered you had no service and you had forgotten to call your mother. Your attention was immediately diverted to the notebook sitting neatly by your phone, puzzling you.
You hadn't taken a notebook out of your bag, that you knew for certain. Your hand changed direction to reach for the notebook. Shuffling down under your blanket, you brought the book in front you, flipping through the pages. You stopped at a page that was dated just after your 9th birthday.
The gardens here are so cool. There's so many of them. It'll take me weeks to go through them all.
You chuckled at the thoughts of your past self and flipped a few more pages. This entry was set a few days later.
I found a new garden! I was exploring around the old, gross part of the grounds and I looked through some vines and found it. Aunt Helen called me back before I could get a good look, but I'm gonna go back tomorrow.
This gave you pause. You didn't remember ever exploring the old part of the grounds. Helen had always told you to stay away from that part of the estate, stating it was dangerous. Deciding to read the next entry, you quickly flipped to the next page.
The new garden is so pretty! It's already my favorite. It has some of every flower and it's huge. And there's a house in there! I didn't see anyone, but maybe tomorrow.
This had to be some of your childhood stories. There was no way that there was another house on the property. With a sigh, you set the book back on the table and clicked your light off. Giving your pillow a fluff, you laid down and drifted into a dream.
“Hongjoong that wasn't funny!” The young boy stood in front of you holding his belly and laughing. “You should have seen your face!” He flailed his arms around and made an exaggerated scared face while you pouted. “You shouldn't scare me like that. It's not nice.” One look at your face let him know that he had really messed up, you looked like you were about to cry. “I'm sorry Y/N. I didn't mean to make you sad. I never want to make you sad.” You perked up after his apology, telling him that it was ok and reaching for his hand. He took your hand in his and you both ran off into the garden.
You awoke with a startle, a little disoriented. The dream was still fresh on your mind, and it left so many questions. Was that the garden you had written about in the notebook? Why did the dream seem so real? It had been like a distant memory. And who the fuck was Hongjoong? Your immediate reaction was to grab the notebook again and try to search for the name, but a knock on the bedroom door made you put that off. “Y/N dear, I’m going into town today and I would like for you to join me. Do hurry and get ready, please. I’d rather not have to wait much longer.”
The ride to town with Helen was silent, just as it always had been. Why she wanted you to join was beyond you, but you could use the time to go over your thoughts. Despite being confused, you couldn’t help but feel a tinge of sadness at having woken up from your dream. The boy, Hongjoong it seemed, had already created a home in your mind. He seemed so familiar, like an old friend. But you were sure you had never met him. So, why was he invading your dreams? And why did you have such a vivid picture of this new garden? Was it something your mind had conjured on its own? It had to be. There had never been a garden in the dilapidated part of the grounds, and there certainly had never been another house.
The abrupt stop of the car brought you out of your deep thoughts. Swiveling your head, you noticed that Helen had parked at the town market. It was a small building for a small town, nothing fancy, but it had all the essentials. The market was set in a shopping center of sorts, again just a small little gathering of buildings. There was a clothing store, a barbershop and the library all huddled around one parking lot. An idea sprung to the forefront of your mind. “Aunt Helen, I think I’d like to visit the library, if that’s ok. I could use a good book to read.” You aren’t entirely sure why you decided to lie to your aunt, something just told you that you probably shouldn’t tell her your actual plans. Helen heaved a heavy sigh from the driver’s seat. “I was hoping you would actually help me, but do as you wish, dear.” Turning your head and rolling your eyes, you stepped out of the car and made your way to the library doors.
The library was like any other library, you weren’t really sure why you expected anything else. Like everything in the town, it was small, but it seemed to be bigger than it looked from the outside. Rows of bookshelves spanned down each side of the building and behind the librarian’s desk. Stepping forward, you stopped at the desk where an older lady with thin glasses and a tight bun looked up at you. You held in a giggle at the stereotypical librarian look. “Good afternoon, how can I help you?” She had a friendly smile, a genuine smile rather than the customer service smile many people wore when they were working. “Good afternoon, ma’am. Does this library have newspaper archives?”
Surprisingly, the library had a basement. It was a bit drafty, letting the cool, spring air run through the room. It obviously wasn’t used much, boxes stacked up in one corner. The librarian led you to a single computer that sat on a desk in the very back of the basement. “Sorry that you have to come all the way down here for the archives.” She gave you a kind, somewhat sad smile. “Pretty much everything has transferred to tablets or whatever new fangled technology the kids are using these days. But the newspaper archives haven’t been switched over yet, they’re still on this computer, aside from much older ones that are still on floppy disks.” You gave her a nod of your head with a reassurance that this was fine. “What year are you looking for, sweetie?” It took a moment for you to answer. “I don’t know.”
The blinking cursor on the screen was a bit daunting. The kind librarian had been patient with you, letting you know that it was ok to not know a year and that a name could be used as well. All you had to do was type it into the search bar. If the name couldn't be found, always check the floppies. You didn't think you'd have to go back that far. Were you crazy? You didn't even have a full name. Just Hongjoong. There had to be more than just one Hongjoong, how would you know what you were looking for? Pushing the doubts aside, you typed in Hongjoong's name and pressed enter.
Unlike what you expected, only a couple of articles popped up. The headlines were vastly different from each other, and you were sure the two couldn't be related. After looking over the words for a moment, you chose to click on the first link.
Father takes son and runs.
Kim Jae-seok and Kim Hongjoong have been missing for 3 weeks at this point. While it was first suspected that the father and son had had an unfortunate accident, the running theory now is that Jae-seok has kidnapped his son and left his wife, Kim Eunbi. Mrs. Kim has adamantly argued against this theory, blaming a local woman for the disappearances, but there is no evidence at this time to substantiate her claims.
You stared at the screen with a baffled expression. At the bottom of the article there was a picture of a young boy and an older man, both wearing giant grins. The boy sat on the man’s shoulders, arms wrapped around the man’s forehead. The caption at the bottom of the picture gave the pair’s names. Kim Jae-seok and Kim Hongjoong. The article was dated around the time you would have been 9, and the boy looked to be around your age. He was also the Hongjoong from your dream.
It took you a few minutes to gather the gumption to click on the next article. After a few deep breaths, you moved the mouse, ready for what came next.
Mother of missing boy ostracized: grief or insanity?
2 years after the disappearance of her son and husband, Kim Eunbi has been shunned by the community. She has stuck to her initial claims that a local woman is responsible for the disappearances. Her claims that the owner of the large garden estate has her family hidden away have remained consistent throughout the investigation. Searches were done, but no trace of Kim Jae-seok and Kim Hongjoong were found. The woman is quoted saying “I feel for the poor woman, losing her family, but I certainly have nothing to do with her misfortune.” At this time, the case has been cold. It is still thought that Jae-seok had kidnapped their son.
As you read the words, your mind swirled. Mrs. Kim seemed to believe that Helen had something to do with the disappearances. But to your knowledge, Helen hadn't really spoken to anyone from town. Her visits were always quick, with as little interaction as possible. Looking at you watch let you know that you didn't have much time left before your aunt was done with her errands. On a whim, you erased Hongjoong's name from the search bar, typing in his mother's name instead.
The same articles popped up, only there was one thing added. An obituary. Your heart panged as you read it. She died without knowing what became of her husband and son. You quickly closed out of the tab, rushing back upstairs, thanking the librarian again on your way out. Helen was just getting back to her car as you stepped through the library doors.
You helped her put her groceries into her car, silent the entire time. You definitely had some things to think about. There was no way your hermit of an aunt could have anything to do with the case of the missing men. Mrs. Kim had to have had some sort of mental break due to her grief. Once the bags were neatly placed in the trunk, you took your place in the passenger seat once more.
“Where's your book, dear?” Helen was quick to notice that you came back from the library empty handed and you quickly came up with a believable excuse. “Nothing really interested me. I didn't want to keep you waiting.” That seemed to satisfy her, giving you a nod and a hum. Your thoughts drifted again. Sure Helen was rude, but she wasn't dangerous. Was she?
Steven came to help bring the groceries inside, Julia following soon after. With their blessing, you decided to tour another garden. Maybe that would help you clear your head. You started walking, not really having a particular garden in mind, stopping at the first one you came to. Camillas. Though the camilla garden was one of the smaller gardens, it was still large.
Rather than hedges surrounding it, there was a tall fence, dark wood of course. Helen did have a theme after all. Despite your thoughts, you tried to pay attention to the beauty surrounding you. Once again, there were flowers of every color. How Helen managed to find so many colors baffled you, but you guessed that when you had that much money, things were more possible for you.
At the center of the garden stood another statue. Every garden had one, or some sort of hedge animal, if you remembered correctly. This particular statue was of a man with a young boy peeking from behind the man's leg. The base of the statue had no plaque, but was surrounded by yellow camillas. The man's face was rather somber looking, which was odd for such a beautiful garden.
Helen watched you from the window, a scowl on her face. You were hiding something and she could tell. She could always tell. Except when it came to her oaf of a gardener. She had never been able to get a good read on the man, despite years of experience and practice. She would have done away with Steven if she were able, but she knew the deal and she couldn't go against that. She didn't know what or how, but she knew something had to be done about your nosey tendencies.
You sat amongst the camillas until the sun began to set and a chill started biting at your skin. You still hadn't made sense of the information you had found in the library. Nothing made sense. You wanted to ask someone if they had heard of Hongjoong and his father, but Helen wasn't an option. You doubt Julia knew anything, which only left Steven. Even if he knew anything, you doubted he would say. He'd been working for your aunt for years, he had a loyalty to her.
“Hey mom. Sorry for not calling sooner. My phone has no service here and it kept slipping my mind.” Your mother’s voice was pleasant as she told you that it was ok. She was sure Helen would have called if you had never arrived. A thought passed through your mind and you considering asking your mother if she knew anything about the Kims. Your voice made the decision for you. “Mom, do you know anything about a missing boy and his father?” Silence. It felt like 5 minutes of silence before your mother spoke again.
“Jae-seok was a friend of your father's. They had gone to school together and had been close ever since. Your dad had always joked about him becoming his brother in law one day.” Your mother left out a breathy chuckle and you kept your attention steady, wanting to know more.
“When Jae-Seok met Eunbi, the jokes stopped. It was clear that the two of them were meant to be together. They had been so in love. It didn't take long for them to marry, your father was the best man. After Hongjoong was born, Helen gave Jae-Seok the job as her gardener. He made those gardens what they are.”
You knew that Jae-Seok had been the gardener, but just how close he was to your family was new information. Your mother continued, giving you everything you knew.
“When Jae-Seok left with Hongjoong, both Eunbi and your father had been insistent that there was no way Jae-Seok would do that. He loved his life and he worshiped Eunbi and treated her like a queen. Your father searched for him as much as he could, but after a while he had to give up. The disappearances were the reason we moved. He just couldn't handle staying in a town with so many memories.”
You didn't know what to say. Your head was spinning a little. You had gotten so much information in such a short period of time. Despite all of the thinking you had done today, you still had more to do. You thanked your mother and talked a bit more before you said your goodbyes. Deciding that you weren't particularly hungry, you let Helen know that you would be skipping dinner. The woman looked far from pleased, but you paid her no mind. You were also unaware of the man standing not too far off with a smile on his face.
Laying on your bed, you felt exhausted. You hadn’t really done anything extensive, but your mind hadn't stopped running in circles since your trip to the library. You went through the facts one more time.
1. You had dreams and journal entries about a boy named Hongjoong.
2. Your father knew the boy's father.
3. Your aunt had been accused of being involved.
4. Hongjoong was missing.
Turning to your bedside table, you reached to grab the journal you had found the night before. You paused. There was another journal sitting on top. Where were these coming from? A knock on your door took your attention away from the journals. Giving a deep sigh, you prepared yourself to face Helen.
Opening the door, you were a little surprised to find Steven. “Thought you should probably eat.” He extended his arm, a plate of the dinner Julia had made in his hand. You couldn't help but smile. Steven was a really nice guy. As you took the plate, you gathered enough courage to ask him a question. “Steven, do you remember me ever mentioning a boy named Hongjoong when I was a child?”
The man stiffed a little before relaxing, as if he was trying to hide his reaction. “I'm sure I can't say, Miss Y/N.” Not the answer you were expecting. Steven remembered everything. “It's getting to be a little past my bedtime. Gotta be up early. You should do some reading, Miss Y/N. Goodnight.”
His mentioning reading struck you as a little odd. He had seen you come back from town, he had to have known you hadn't brought a book back and there weren't any books in your room. Sure, he could have assumed you had brought some with you. That was the most logical explanation, but something was still bothering you.
Shrugging the odd conversation off, you took your food to your bed, planning to nibble on it as you read the journals. You chose the new one, flipping through the pages. Your browsing stop and a page that was dated when you would have been 13.
“Hongjoong and I read today, it was pretty relaxing. I like that I can have someone that doesn't feel the need to always fill the silence. Sometimes that's just what I need, to be in someone's presence but still enjoy the quiet. We did talk a little, though. He's such a great listener. He did get a little sad when I asked him to come look at the gardens with me tomorrow. He said something about not being able to leave. I'm not sure what he meant. I'll try again tomorrow.”
There was a large break in the page before a sentence placed at the very bottom.
“I'm gonna marry him one day.”
You almost closed the book immediately. Your 13 year old self was thinking of marrying her imaginary friend. It just seemed silly. You grabbed the other journal, finding a page before the last one you had read.
“I'm writing this in case I forget, the new garden can be hard to find. All you have to do is find the part of the fence with two missing boards. There's a few spots like that, but the one to the garden has vines all over it and an H carved into the board next to it.”
You finished your food, setting the plate and journal back on the table. Looks like you had some exploring to do tomorrow.
“Don't do this, Y/N. Please. You know I can't come with you, please don't just stop coming. The look on Hongjoong's face broke your heart. He was your best friend, but you were starting to think this was all in your mind. Some imaginary world you had created in your mind. “Joong, I'm getting too old to play make believe with people who aren't there.” His face changed from sadness to anger. “You know damn well that I'm not an imaginary friend. You know what, go. Leave and don't come back. I'm fine here with my dad anyway.” You couldn't help the tear that fell from your eye as you watched him walk away.”
Waking up in a sweat was becoming normal. You groaned as you climbed out of bed to brush your teeth and change your clothes. Choosing to forego a shower, you'd be getting dirty today anyway, you picked out some jeans and an old shirt that you had turned into a night shirt. You sat and ate breakfast with Helen, choosing to ignore her comments about your outfit. She asked what your plans for the day were and you kept your cool, simply telling her you would be visiting the lilies today. She said nothing as she gathered her dirty dishes and took them to the kitchen.
Steven watched as you walked out of the door and headed to the old part of the estate. He couldn't help the sigh of relief that escaped him and the smile that came to his face. He watched your form disappear before he spoke. “Finally.”
The vines were far overgrown. Steven must not worry about this section because there was nothing here. You felt a little ridiculous. Looking around for some garden that probably didn't exist. After an hour of searching, you were ready to give up. You could barely see any of the fence, there was a slim chance you'd be able to find missing boards and a carving. Moving to turn around and head back, you saw a sliver of a missing board. Stepping over to it, you pulled the vines to the side. Two missing boards. You searched around the boards around the gap. On the left board, a small H.
You took a deep breath, preparing yourself for the incoming feeling of feeling like a silly little girl. Crouching down, you stepped through the gap. It took a little bit of wiggling, but you made it to the other side. When you lifted your head, you were in awe. The most beautiful garden you had ever seen was before you. Gardenias. Gardenias everywhere.
You stood still for a moment, just taking in the beauty. The shock subsided a little and you took your first steps further into the new majestic place you had found. Your feet seemed to know where to go, weaving you through the bushes. You stopped when you came upon a house. Just like the house from your dreams. You studied the house for a few seconds. It wasn't run down at all. In fact, it looked like it had been well taken care of. You watched the door open and a man step out. He stood there looking at you for what felt like forever. A smile slowly creeped across his face. “You're back.”
Your mind went blank. Suddenly a rush of memories came back to you. Meeting Hongjoong for the first time when you were 9, daily visits to the garden, meeting his dad, kissing him when you were 14. Everything hit you like a wave. You took a small step forward, barely moving. “Hongjoong.” The two of you slowly made your way to each other, both of you a little cautious. Once you were right in front of each other, you took a moment to just take him in.
He was handsome, he had grown into one of the most handsome men you had ever seen, if not the most handsome. He tentatively brought his hand to your cheek as if he was worried you'd back away from him. His thumb made soft movements against your face, his eyes boring into yours. “I thought I'd never see you again. I've waited. Every day I come out and take care of the flowers I planted for you, hoping I'll see you walk up. I've missed you so much. I'm sorry for the last conversation we had.”
You felt tears forming and you did your best to blink them away. You leaned into his touch, relishing in his warmth. You had so many questions for him, but you couldn't bring yourself to ask yet. Your brain was screaming at you to touch him. You quickly reached for him, wrapping your arms around him in a hug. He took no time in hugging you back, squeezing a little tighter. “I'm sorry it took so long for me to come back.” Your words were spoken into his chest, coming out a bit muffled. He must have heard you because he responded immediately. “You're here now. That's all that matters.”
Hongjoong pulled you inside, asking you to tell him about the 10 years he had missed. You told him about your high school and college graduations, moving to the city, becoming a writer. His gaze never wavered from you, fully enthralled in what you had to say. Every now and then he would give your thigh a squeeze. Once you had filled him in on your life, you asked him the same. He could see you looking around the house, obviously wondering where his father was. He let his head fall forward a little.
“Dad died about 3 years ago, it's just me now.” Your heart sank. He had lost the only person he had. He had been completely alone for 3 years. Guilt ran through your body. As if he knew what you were thinking, he grabbed your hand. “Please don't feel guilty. You had a life to live and death is natural.” Your questions finally made their way back to the forefront of your mind. Taking a deep breath, you squeezed his hand. “Joong. Why can't you leave the garden?”
He was silent for a while, gathering his words. “Dad explained everything to me before he died. There was a woman who was in love with him. She had asked him to be with her multiple times, but he always turned her down. When he met my mom, things got bad. He was the gardener here and we lived on the property. In this house, actually.” He paused, taking a deep breath before he continued.
“She continued to try to change Dad's mind even after he married Mom and I was born, but he still refused. Mom had left to go to town one day and Dad and I were playing in the garden, it was pansies then.” He gave a sad chuckle and met your eyes, gaging your reaction as he continued.
“Your aunt came to the garden, looking for Dad. She started talking, but she wasn't making any sense. Next thing Dad knew, she was gone. He went looking for her, but when he got to the gate, he couldn't leave. The gate would open, but he couldn't step out. We were trapped.” You could feel the tears running down your face. You were filled with sadness, but also rage. How could Helen do this? Mrs. Kim had been right all along.
“The last thing Dad heard was your aunt telling him that he would stay here until he realized that they weren't meant to be. She said until true love was realized. She said we wouldn't be able to be found, especially by my mother. So, I'm stuck here. I don't even know anything about Mom.” The tears were falling harder now. You knew you had to tell him, but it was so hard.
“I found news articles about your disappearance. Your mother never stopped looking. She looked until she died.” Hongjoong looked broken. He had lost everyone, and he had lost you for years. Every bit of emotion you had ever had for Hongjoong had hit you full force. You had forgotten him, yes, but your heart had apparently not. You decided right then that even though you weren’t sure how, you’d figure out how to get him out of the garden.
You kept returning to see Hongjoong every day for weeks. You were sure that Helen was getting suspicious, but you did your best to keep her from figuring out where you were going. The two of you talked like old times, sometimes even playing tag and hide and seek like you had when you were kids. Hongjoong still had the books the two of you would read all those years ago, and it became a routine of reading together. You had even taken trips to the library to bring him new books to read, which he was immensely grateful for.
After a month of daily visits, you were sure that you were in love with Hongjoong. You suspected that some part of you always had been, but you were old enough to understand the things you were feeling. You wanted to tell him, but you were nervous. You knew that he would never treat you badly for telling him that you had fallen in love with him, but the fear was still there. The sight of his house made you forget about your worry immediately. He was standing outside, just like he always was. His back was turned to you while he was bent down watering the gardenias that bloomed around the house. With a smirk, you quietly walked up behind him and wrapped your arms around his waist. He jumped with a small shriek and turned to face you with a pout.
“That wasn’t funny. You scared the hell out of me.” You couldn’t help but laugh, remembering how you had said those words to him so many years ago. “Consider that payback for scaring me when we were 9.” The pout disappeared from his face and was replaced with the bright smile you loved to see him wear. Looking at him now, you were definitely in love with him. Without giving it a second thought, you pushed forward, lips meeting his.
It took him a moment to react, obviously surprised. As soon as he realized what was happening, his lips started to move against yours. Your heart was soaring, you were absolutely sure that you could kiss him every second of the day and never get tired of the feeling. One of his arms wrapped around your middle, pulling you closer, the other making it up to your cheek. Time seemed to stop as the two of you kissed until you had to separate for air. The two of you stared at each other, just taking everything in. “I love you, Joong.”
Your eyes widened as you heard your own voice. That was definitely not planned. You dropped your gaze, feeling a bit embarrassed. Hongjoong’s fingers found your chin, tilting your face up. “Do you know what gardenias mean?” The question caused you a little confusion, but you shook your head. “Gardenias mean secret love. I planted these because it was my way of telling you that I loved you. I’ve been in love with you since I was 15. I didn’t realize it until after you left. At first I thought it was just that I missed the only friend I had ever had, but that wasn’t it.” You smiled at him softly, letting him speak until he had said all he needed to say. “I knew it wasn’t that when I would go to the gate every day and just read and wait. I would hear voices on the other side every now and then and I always hoped that it was you. I stopped caring about whether or not I would ever leave the garden, as long as I had you here with me.” He ended his thoughts with a peck to your forehead.
The tears came again, damn him for being so sweet. “Hongjoong? Will you make love to me?” He took a step back from you and you were sure that you had fucked up. He lowered his head to hide the blush that decorated his cheeks. “I don’t know how.” His voice was only a whisper, and you mentally kicked yourself for not thinking about that. “It’s ok. I’m sorry. We don’t have t-” Your voice was cut short as he stepped forward to grab your hand. “But I want to. Is that ok?”
Hongjoong laid you onto his bed with shaking hands. Your lips had been pushed against each other since he had told you that he wanted to make love to you. Your heart was so full. You could tell he was nervous. “Joong. Take as long as you need. We don't have to do this now.” Your reassurance seemed to relax the man. “I want to do this now. I'm just nervous.” He gave an embarrassed chuckle and rubbed the back of his neck.
You reached down, rubbing him over his pants. His hips bucked into your hand and he let out a sigh at the contact. He buried his face in your neck, leaving small kisses along your skin. One of his hands slid up your body to your breast, giving it a cautious squeeze. You let out a small moan, letting him know he was doing the right thing.
The sound seemed to relieve him of some of his nervousness, causing him to nibble on your neck and slide his hand further down your body, stopping over your clothed core. Due to the dress you were wearing, he was able to feel your damp panties, moaning at the feeling. “So wet.” His lips were back on yours immediately. His movements weren't completely on target, but you let him experiment until he found what made you moan the loudest.
He leaned back, slipping his pants off, leaving him only in his boxers. Looking over him, you could tell that he had made them himself. You could also tell that he was very well endowed. Hongjoong moved to hover over you, resting on his arm beside your head. An idea popped in your head and you hoped it would help with his nerves.
You pulled back from his lips just long enough to speak. “Thrust your hips forward. We can start over our clothes.” His face relaxed a bit as he thrust into your core. His cock hit your clit on the first try and you moaned as your lips found his again. Hongjoong kept a slow pace and you assumed it was an attempt to not cum early. You would have been fine if he had, just having him like this at all was enough.
He was obviously a natural, hitting the right spot every time he moved his hips. Your hands found their place on his back, nails digging in slightly. He groaned into the kiss and you made a note to push a little further next time. His breathing began to quicken. He pulled back from your body, a little flush on his cheeks. “I don't want to cum yet and I was getting close.”
You let him know that it was ok if he came, but he shook his head. “You first. You just may have to help me.” You pecked his lips with a nod. Grabbing his hand, you slipped it under the hem of your panties, placing it directly on your clit. “Rub in slow circles, only a little bit of pressure.” He immediately got to work and again, he was a natural.
His lips found yours yet again, his tongue rubbing at the seam of your lips. Giving him entry to your mouth, your tongues tangled in a perfect dance. You let him lead the kiss, knowing he would do it right. His playing with your clit felt good, but you needed a little more. You pulled away again to give a few more instructions. “Keep your thumb on my clit and slide your fingers down. I need you to finger me.” The circles on your clit stopped for barely a second before he moved into action.
Sliding his index and middle fingers down your pussy to your entrance, he groaned. He suddenly stopped, eyes meeting yours. “Can I see you? All of you?” You gave him a soft smile and a nod reaching to take your dress off. He grabbed the edges of your panties and slide them down your legs. And then he stared. Just stared.
You started to get a little self conscious, squirming. “Beautiful.” His voice was barely audible, but it made your heart flutter. He admired you a little longer before he moved his hand back into position. This thumb found your clit as if he had been doing this for years. His fingers circled your entrance and he smirked at the whine you let out as your hips bucked into his hand.
He leaned down to kiss you as he slipped his index finger inside of you. You moaned against his lips, wrapping your arms back around him. Just like with his thrusts earlier, he kept his pace slow. After a few slides of his finger, his middle finger joined his index. The feeling of being slightly more full than only a second ago had your head spinning. You were about to pull away to tell him to curl his fingers when he did that on his own. Your nails dug into his back again, causing him to pick up his pace.
You were getting close and you couldn't tell if it was because he was a quick learner, or if it was just him. You didn't care. Hongjoong whined as you began to squeeze his fingers, picking up his pace again. He was the one to pull away this time, moving his face back to your neck. His lips found your ear, biting your lobe slightly. “Cum for me, my love.” And that was all it took for you to cum around his fingers.
He kept his pace until you were pushing his arm away. “Sensitive.” He pulled his hand away from you, looking at your wetness on his fingers. He looked like he was thinking about something, then slowly lifted his hand to his mouth, pushing his fingers into his mouth. The moan he let out was obscene and it made you clench around nothing. You were still a bit winded when you reached for his boxers, letting him know you wanted them off.
He was big, but not too big. His cock was perfect. He positioned himself over you again, giving you another small peck to your lips. He reached down to wrap his hand around his member, placing it at your entrance. He looked up at you. “Ready?” You gave him a nod and he pushed into you slowly, causing you both to moan in unison. Once he was fully seated inside of you, he paused, letting himself get used to the feeling.
You rubbed his back, trying to help him relax. After a few moments, he pulled his hips back, leaving only the tip of his cock inside of you before he pushed himself back in. He sped up a little, relishing in the feeling of your walls wrapped tightly around him. You could tell by the look on his face that he wouldn't last much longer, and all you wanted was to see him cum. To fill you completely. “It's ok, baby. Cum whenever you're ready. Don't hold back.”
He sped his hips again, his moans getting louder. His thrusts were getting sloppy and you dug your nails into his back. “I love you, Hongjoong.” He shivered and let out the loudest moan yet as his hips stopped and his seed began to fill you. “I love you. I love you so much.” His words were shaky, but full of emotion. Once he calmed down, he pressed a kiss to your forehead. “Thank you for coming back to me.”
It took two months for your aunt to finally say something to you about the garden. You had woken up, brushed your teeth and changed, and had breakfast before you walked out to go see Hongjoong. This had become such a routine that you could do it without thought. Just as you were approaching the missing boards, a voice came from behind you. “And just where are you going, dear niece?” Your body stiffened as you turned to face her.
Her face was full of rage. You stood your ground, she had hurt so many people already. You wouldn't let her hurt anyone else. “I'm going to the garden you trapped two innocent people in.” Her face twisted into absolute hatred. “You ungrateful brat. I let you into my home and you disrespect me. How dare you?” It was your turn to feel rage.
“How dare I? How dare YOU? You couldn't accept that you weren't wanted and you cursed an entire family. You took a son and husband away from a woman who did nothing but love a man. You're disgusting.”
You turned your back to Helen, intent on continuing your trek to see Hongjoong. Your aunt took the opportunity to grab your arm and pull you back towards her. “You will not go back there. I forbid it. If you continue to disobey you can go back to your life in the city.” You tried to pull your arm back, but Helen was stronger than she looked. “Let go of me you wretched woman!”
Hongjoong heard you yell from the garden and his feet moved faster than his brain. He ran to the garden gate, pulling on it, not even thinking twice when it opened for the first time in his life. When he stepped onto the other side, he noticed you with an older woman's hand wrapped around your arm. He saw red. He ran forward, wrapping his arms around the older woman and doing his best to pull her off of you. He managed to get her away, but she quickly broke free from his grip.
“Helen, that is enough!” Steven's voice drew everyone's attention. He was standing a few feet away, Julia by his side. He held a large book in his hand, which he handed to Julia. “This has gone on for too long, it's time to let it go. The boy has done nothing to you.” Helen made eye contact with Julia, noticing the book she held tight to her chest.
“Yes, I found your book, not that you really hid it.” Steven's voice brought her attention back to him. “You. I don't know how you did it, but this reeks of your doing.” Her words were filled with venom, but Steven looked unbothered. He straightened his back, standing tall and proud.
“You may have forced me into silence about this situation, but I'm a crafty man. You never noticed Miss Y/N's notebooks, but I did.” Everything clicked into place. The sudden appearance of the notebooks, Steven's cryptic words. Everything made sense now.
Hongjoong stepped next to you, both of you still not realizing he had left the garden. His hand reached for yours, intertwining your fingers. You both focused on Steven, waiting for his next words.
“For years I have been forced into this sham of a marriage, into silence about how awful you are. And now it's over. The boy has made it out of the garden, Helen. True love has been realized. Your curse is broken.”
Everyone seemed to realize that Hongjoong was free at the same time. Heads whipped to face him. Helen’s expression full of anger, yours of awe, and Hongjoong's of confusion. You wrapped your arms around him immediately, bringing him into a hug. It took him a moment to catch up to your enthusiasm, but it wasn't long before he held you tight against him.
“Now, if Miss Julia will help me, we have something planned for you. See, you're not the only one that read this little magic book of yours. We've waited for the day the boy could leave the garden. Now, he's made that garden into a home and I see no reason to take that from him. But a little garden of your own seems appropriate.”
With that, Julia began to read from the book. Her words were quick, not giving Helen enough time to make it to her to stop her. In a flash, Helen was gone. You looked at Julia, confused. You had thought that Helen's new home would appear in front of you. “I never said the garden would be here”
It didn't take much consideration to decide to stay with Hongjoong in the house he grew up in. The garden was covered in the flowers that he planted for you. It was where your love story began, and it would be where your love story would end.
Steven reported Helen missing and as her legal husband, that you still didn't understand, he got ownership of the estate. He had tried to give it to you, but you refused. You didn't need the big house, you just needed Hongjoong.
You received a call from your publisher, letting you know the good news. The draft of your novel had been approved. “You still haven't told me the name of this book, my love.” You smiled at your husband, giving him a sweet kiss. Leaning to place your lips next to his ear, you whispered lowly. “The Secret Garden.”
#cultofdionysusnet#ateez fanfic#ateez x reader#ateez fic#ateez fluff#ateez angst#ateez smut#ateez au#hongjoong fic#hongjoong fluff#hongjoong angst#hongjoong#hongjoong smut#hongjoong x reader#ateez#kim hongjoong#kim hongjoong fic#kim hongjoong fluff#kim hongjoong angst#kim hongjoong smut#kim hongjoong x reader#ateez hongjoong#ateez hongjoong fic#ateez hongjoong fluff#ateez hongjoong angst#ateez hongjoong smut#codn: spring24
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Open Arms: Suspension
It was a regular day it seems the following morning, breakfast, training and chilling out. Looks like it was one of those days nothing bad would happen, until the notification that Mr Ludwig the director of the entire Space Rider organization has requested to speak with Dogbite personally. Dogbite of course not one to laze about, settled in the meeting room and laid back on his chair as the hologram of Mr Ludwig himself appeared.
"Director! How can I be of service?" Dogbite asked curious with a smile "Dogbite, last night i had gotten a report of your recent behaviour." Dogbite paused at the Director's answer "Explain?" He asked. With that, Mr Ludwig started to explain: "According to this report, you for the past few months have been showing signs of aggression, recklessness, gatekeeping and egocentricity. Care to explain?"
Dogbite paused but stayed firm "Hey, Mr Ludwig it's all just healthy competition between me my brother's team, after all I just think that we're better than them in taking out the Prototype before they do." Ludwig was not impressed "Competition? Dominance? Healthy? I don't think so." Dogbite, still being brave stood up "I'm just eager to best him and take out the Prototype first at the same time."
Ludwig just shook his head "No, that's not what i formed this organisation for. The report also details other events of aggression and gatekeeping that i do not tolerate. The conclusion is: You have lost sight of the big picture." Dogbite blinked "But sir, I--"
"Do not interrupt me, Dogbite." Mr Ludwig scolded "I also have reports on you claiming that our rouge Rider, Z is not a real rider and should be detained?" "Well yeah, he didn't enter the academy nor show his face to us" Ludwig once again sighed at Dogbite's comment "Be it as it may, Z is still the sole survivor of Borealis and had been a Rider for the past 10 years with a clean record, so in other words your attitude regarding Z is nothing but intolerant."
"But sir! He..just.." Before Dogbite could utter any more, Ludwig spoke again "I have had my suspicions in the past, yes. But his actions have made him a legitimate Rider in my books, so therefore Dogbite you have no right in attempting to demonize Z. We are the only things standing between the Prototype and his dream of total universal conquest and you think it's all a game?"
"Well of course, all life's a game." Dogbite barked. "I'm sorry Dogbite, but I cannot tolerate this kind of behaviour any longer: I am putting you on suspension, for a period of 1 month." Dogbite's heart dropped into the pit of his stomach "WHAT??!! You can't do this to me, I'm the captain!" Dogbite argued, but Mr Ludwig put it straight "And I'm the Director, therefore I outrank you. I am sorry, Dogbite but as stated before this behavior i can no longer tolerate, 1 month of time to yourself should be enough for you to realize this reckless behavior and competitiveness MUST stop."
"But..Captain, this isn't fair." Mr Ludwig cut Dogbite off again "Neither is not being allowed to go on a date with another rider, not being allowed to help another rider from another team with her inventions, neither is creating divides between your team and another and neither is claiming our anonymous Rider Z, the sole survivor of Borealis i add, to be a fake rider and a so called "menace"." Dogbite was silent, he had nothing to say to Mr Ludwig, his team had told the Rider director EVERYTHING, and now he would suffer the consequences.
"Dogbite, do not take it the wrong way, you are a formidable fighter and a competent leader. But as stated you have lost sight of the big picture, we are at war with the Prototype and we are all united to stop it, putting aside rivalries and differences for the greater good. I do not see any Rider crew as 'better' than the other, they are all equal to me. The defeat of the Prototype is NOT a race nor competition, it is a shared goal between every single team in this organisation. You may think your team is a rival to your brothers, but in reality: You are both on the same side and should work together."
Dogbite remained quiet and was a blank after Mr Ludwig had finished talking, the human then looked at the dog with a gentle glare "I have seen too many Rider captains fall to their pride, ego or greed, desperation for glory each of those captains had the same fate: Death. Please, Dogbite, do not follow in that path." With those final words, Mr Ludwig cut the hologram, Dogbite then looked to his left to see his entire crew watching.
Dogbite pointed his finger at Drago, quivering and visibly upset "You...you sent that report..! Why..??" Drago sighed and looked at his captain, it was clear Dogbite felt crushed and betrayed by his own crew. "It's for your own good, Captain. As Ludwig said you've forgotten we're all on the same side, and this competition has to stop."
Lean Lemur also looked up at Dogbite "We still respect you, captain. But we can't lie that you've gone over the edge, you gotta cool off and take time to rethink things." Prettybird also glared "And Ludwig is right, alienating, preventing socializing with Dogday's crew just because of your rivalry really isn't fair." Mama put her hand on Dogbite's shoulder "A full month to yourself is enough for you to rethink things, you need it captain."
Dogbite, unable to say a word just looks down at the ground "I'll just be on my way...Drago, your stepping in as leader, I'll see you all in a month..." With that he sadly leaves his team and begins packing up, after doing so he donned his helmet and took a space cycle. He decided to head for the planet Eden. He began to think
"This can't stand..now Dogday's gonna be ahead of me! But..no, no, their all wrong, I need to show them that I can be better than him!" He thought to himself, but thinking would have to wait as he flew to Eden for his suspension.
TO BE CONTINUED
space rider au by @onyxonline
#space riders au#smiling critters oc#poppy playtime#smiling critters#smiling critters au#space riders au oc#poppys playtime oc#dogday#kickinchicken#hoppy hopscotch#ludwig
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@koseigu said:
❛ say my name . louder . ❜ & ❛ i’ve barely even started . ❜ & ❛ i want to hear you beg . ❜ ( warmups for vocalist sugu <3 )
IF YOU'D ASKED SUGURU AT TWENTY what he thought he would be doing in eight years, the answer would most likely not be 'getting his back blown out by the hot drummer for his own band before every show.'
sukuna's stamina is legendary in the wider circle of gossip around them and their band. when suguru first approached him, all he knew about the man was that he was notoriously hot, notoriously mean, and an excellent drummer. all he really cared about was the last part (though, he had to admit curiosity about the first.) as it turned out, excellent was an understatement. he sat and listened to sukuna's reel for hours and hours that first night, mind already awakening rhythms and melodies and lyrics from where they slept under almost a year of writer's block.
initially, sukuna refused. BENEVOLENCE had put out a couple of major hits, but nothing that kept them in the public eye — not like him and satoru were before their duo-band broke up, not even close. of course it made sense that a drummer worth his salt ( and more, in suguru's opinion ) wouldn't want to sign on with a band led by satoru's shadow.
even after he was rejected, suguru would readily admit he became a bit obsessed with sukuna's sound. he listened to that reel again, again, again, wrote accompaniments that wrote themselves, and before he knew it he'd put together a demo with his own vocals over the synths and sent it out.
he didn't expect a response. whatever happened on the other side of that email, he's not sure to this day — something about it must have, as he hoped it would, sparked the inspiration of a man he knew was just as stuck as him.
once they started working together, it didn't take long for suguru to be the recipient of a great deal of unsolicited gossip about his new drummer's sex life. his stamina first among the deluge: he can go for days. i think i heard someone say like, four?? that's a lot! and he's into some real kinky shit.
again: did not ask.
but pandora's box had been opened, and before long suguru found himself casting sidelong looks during recording sessions in the studio. which turned to songwriting sessions with just the two of them once he caught onto sukuna's excellent ear and a knack for bouncing off of suguru's ideas to create something better. they bickered, argued, fought, and the friction between them only amplified what they created together. but suguru was so caught up in flowstate, in the dream, to notice what was happening until it was too late and sukuna's mouth was on his and he wanted it there, had wanted it there, and only when suguru found himself on his knees with sukuna's cock down his throat did he realize that maybe, just maybe, he'd gotten into something dangerous.
attraction is a powerful motivator. it also turns everything around it brittle. he has learned the hard way that a band can't survive a breakup between its two creative centers — one hit and the whole thing shatters.
so don't get your heart involved, said the caustic thing in him that ate away reason, that in matters of attraction he always ended up listening to. easy.
yeah. sure.
to his credit, it seems to be working so far. though he isn't sure what it was about him that drew sukuna into his orbit the same way suguru had already been drawn into his, it isn't a gift horse he particularly feels like looking in the mouth. and though he thought the rumors were exaggerating, they weren't kidding about his stamina. either sukuna brings out something in him that wasn't there before, or suguru has been incredibly shortsighted about his body's limits — repeatedly the other man stretches them, breaks them, and leaves him begging for more.
the more they fuck, the more he suspects it may have been his voice that did it. sukuna likes to hear him — and suguru likes to deny him, calm and honey-smooth and intentionally infuriating, until he's made to. ( and then, sometimes, when it's least expected of him, he likes to flip the script and make sukuna beg in turn. suguru has always enjoyed being underestimated. it makes retribution that much sweeter. )
it's a good thing that his studio is private, situated in the guest house behind suguru's well-kept garden. it's a good thing it's outfitted with soundproofing. every minute of his schedule is accounted for: they'll need to arrive three hours before doors, which means hustling once two p.m. rolls around, but they've been up since six. suguru has found it easier to work around sukuna than to try to make sukuna work around him. if he doesn't block out time, sukuna will take it: more than one press event has been delayed or canceled because suguru was busy gasping against him for the third straight hour, left raspy-voiced and unable to walk.
shows are a little stricter. both of them are required to be in relatively good shape to be able to perform, but that doesn't mean they can't still warm up suguru's voice in unconventional ways. throat-fucking is off the table — really off the table, not 'off the table until sukuna does it anyway' — and besides, this is about exercising his voice, not stifling it. instead: scarlet rope bites into the skin of arms contorted behind his back, locked in place by a web of intricate knots. the patterns weave over his chest, enhancing and pressing and pulling. sukuna under him, keeping his hips in place with one hand as he fucks suguru from below, grabs his hair with the other and yanks his head back just enough to provoke a hiss. "say my name. louder." and suguru truly may have resisted, had he not been edged for the last two hours. but his thighs tremble from keeping the position and from the muscle spasms brought on by almost-orgasm after almost-orgasm, and every movement of sukuna's hips sends a new wave of not-quite-enough-but-oh-god-please bliss through his body, and he isn't sure how much more of this he can take.
so before sukuna can stop mid-thrust again just to make him squirm, just to keep him moving, he complies. ❝ ryo— ngh. ❞ another hard pull at his hair — and as he feared, sukuna stops moving, red eyes boring into his with a flash of dissatisfaction. a choked, desperate sound leaves suguru's throat as he arches his back, tries to move his hips only for the hand in his hair to move to his throat. under those harsh and practiced fingers, his pulse races, faster now. the open air is brutal on his dick, a complete lack of stimulation despite sukuna buried deep inside him causing a throbbing, indescribable sharpness that has his lips pulling back in a grimace. "louder," sukuna snarls below him, pulls his hips low and snaps them back upwards just once. "i want to hear you beg."
❝ ryomen, ❞ suguru bites out, resistant even in his desperation, even though he thinks he might do just about anything if it means sukuna will let him come. ❝ please. ❞ positive reinforcement at using his voice: sukuna moves again, rolls his hips lazily, languidly. yet more precum leaks down the length of his shaft, drips down to meet the mess already present. he imagines one of those lovely hands wrapping around his dick and it does not make his situation any better. the new motion is enough to make him moan again, and he sees — feels — a shiver roll down his partner's spine.
and that is all he needs. suguru could delude himself into thinking he's in control by raising his voice, gasping, groaning sukuna's name and please into the crook of his neck as his drummer's tongue runs up the tense line of his jugular, but knowing that he isn't is the thrill that binds them together in this moment. for what he hopes is the last time this morning, sukuna wraps a hand around him and fucks him hard and works him up until his toes are curling, the slight tremor in his thighs growing more violent, tension rippling through his arms and shoulders and abdomen, his moans growing louder and filthier still —
— and then the pressure is gone. the hips still their motion again. sukuna's face is still hovering close to his neck, to his ear; he pulls suguru back by the hair until they're just far apart enough to look each other in the eye. "nah. i've barely even started."
suguru's eyes are filmy with tears, violet consumed by pupils in desire and frustration both. his voice is low and clear, vocal cords responsive and warm like they should be on show day. ❝ i hate you. ❞
#me: hee hee smutty rp prompt from tsari yay#me several hours later: just writing a wholeass fic oneshot its f#ic.#nsft#geto threads.#geto bond » koseigu / ryomen sukuna ( i'll be your slaughterhouse; your killing floor; your morgue and final resting. )
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i think she heard he was sick and shouldn't be bothered at so she didn't go see him, the first time she saw him was when he appeared in the Throne Room and she saw how horrible it was. i don't think rhaenys hates viserys like people are pointing out, sure its his fault, doesnt mean rhaenys didnt love him as a cousin, shes clearly affectionate with him in episode 5
episode 5 was also before laena and laenor died 💔
but of course rhaenys loves her cousin. shes known viserys since he was born. they grew up under the same roof. he was her little buddy. her best friend, but its been a long time since then. hes no longer that little boy and shes no longer that little girl.
and whether viserys meant it or not, hes hurt her. he stood by silently as she was humiliated and her birthright stolen twice. first by his father and then himself. he refuses to deal with problems that her family must then suffer the consequences for. (stepstones, laenor, the silent 5, vaemond. whichever version were going with.) all while giving rhaenyra and daemon free reign to do as they like.
im sure when rhaenys got back to the red keep she was conflicted. of course she wants to see viserys. she doesnt want anything to do with viserys. when she does finally ask about seeing him people shift uncomfortably and glance at each other and tell her shell have to talk to otto or alic- fuck that. fuck him. she didnt want to see viserys anyway. rhaenys wants to get this over with and go home and see if she still has a husband or not.
rhaenys knows viserys has been sick, but probably didnt realize how bad things had gotten until she sees him for the first time in the throne room. theres that one shot where she looks upset after seeing him, but what does this change for her? shes still there for the same reason. to settle corlys succession and go home. its upsetting to see how badly her cousins deteriorated, but they havent been close in years. and after all that goes down during the succession hearing, i dont think rhaenys would be exactly itching to see viserys afterwards.
then he dies that night. their last interaction was as king and subject.
of course rhaenys loved her cousin. but she loved the boy she grew up with, not the king he became.
#rhaenys tqwnw#viserys i targaryen#asks#this is a little rambly sorry i got inspired i love them </3
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good old fashioned lover boy
★EDDIE MUNSON'S MASTERLIST★
☆AGATHA'S MAIN PAGE☆
summary : you didn't get the chance to experience prom, your boyfriend, Eddie surprises you
warnings : 18+ Eddie Munson x FEM!reader, language, use of y/n, Eddie and reader are both coming from middle class families, little sad at the first part but you'll be fine, lovesick Eddie, fluff, Eddie and reader are both 20
A short mini fic to "Need Your Loving Tonight" 🫶🏻
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It's already been 1 year since Eddie almost lost you and you've been so thankful that he finally gotten to his senses that he must fix his mistakes before
You're both going as freshman for college and you couldn't be more excited when you both have the same courses that you both truly want
Senior High Graduation was just freshly finished and all you wanted to do is to rest for a moment, you always have time to prepare for the next responsibilities
But no seriously.... you just want to have Eddie all by yourself, you want to spend alone time with him and just him
When in reality, you're always together and never since have gone to separate ways
Eddie feels the same, he doesn't want to be alone without you
Whenever you or him coming home, you always throw your whole self around him and pull him in- impossibly close
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"What are you thinking about, Y/N?"
"Huh?" his voice made you snap of your thoughts
He leans closer to you "What's going on your mind?"
"Oh" you massaged your forehead as you reach for your coffee
"You know that I don't like you getting all worked up" he says while holding your hand across the table
"Yeah, I know" you smile
"Y/N!" "Eddie!" Mike and Lucas called out for the both of you as the young boys making their way to your table
"Hey, guys" your face lights up immediately when you sensed the exciting energy from them
"What's up?" Eddie asks them as he turn his head around, he is still holding your hand
"I know both of you are now out of school but it's just-" Mike rambles
"What?" You raise your eyebrow
"It would be so much fun if you guys are also there with us for the prom tomorrow"
Your eyes soften but also filled with sadness
You didn't get the chance to attend prom before
"Oh, that's so sweet- that's so very thoughtful" you say while making not to sob in front of them
"Are you kidding?! Y/N- you're like the best of this whole gang! You made our school year even better!" Mike dramatically facepalms and you laugh
"That's so true! We all thought there's only one like Eddie but when you came along, we realized we're not alone" Lucas adds
"Got that right, Sinclair" Eddie fist bumped Lucas and make an exaggerated boom gesturing their hands and you giggle
You're so good at hiding your emotions but no matter how good you are- Eddie can always see it and feel it
The prom last year, no one has asked you to come and you've been waiting for Eddie to ask you
At that time, you we're bestfriends with him, you thought keeping your feelings to yourself was the easiest way to do but instead it only gets worse
But then, you realized, prom is expensive and takes a lot of money to attend that kind of event
So.... you let it slide even though it hurts, but you know what they say....
"Prom is like the most memorable of high school life!"
You didn't get the chance to experience that and you didn't pay attention to these kinds of things before, you thought it wouldn't hurt you
they're right, but also at the same time- you learn to accept it, you don't have the budget and neither does he....
"Can you guys visit us there?" Mike asks with pleading eyes
"We just wanted to have one more bond with you" Lucas begs
Eddie chuckles while shaking his head in disbelief "Guys, we're not dying"
You kick Eddie's foot under the table that made him flinch in pain
"Oh, come on, Y/N- they made it sound like we're gonna die"
You roll your eyes at him
"So?" Mike awaits
"I guess we could" you grin at them
"Yes!" Both of the boys said in unison
"Uh- Mike- we're gonna run- Max and El are going to have our heads if we don't arrive on time"
"Oh shit"
Eddie clears his throat
"Right, sorry, see you tomorrow guys!" Mike says as he runs outside of the café
"Thank you! Y/N and Eddie" Lucas waves at the both of you as he follows Mike
"I feel like I'm going to miss those kids"
"Don't get me started there, Y/N"
You snorted and that is totally true, he helped those young ones to have their safe space, he is obviously attached to them- you couldn't be more grateful to have Eddie that who isn't afraid to show his emotions
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You're washing your face in the sink, you jumped a little bit when you felt arms around your waist
It's Eddie, hugging behind your back so suddenly
You sigh in comfort, you lean back when he pulled himself away, you rest your head on his shoulders
You smiled but noticed the obvious low-spirited on his face
"What's wrong, Eddie?"
You asked him and he pulled you even more close and hugs you tighter, placing his head on the crook of your neck as he breathes in your scent- you reached for his face caressing it softly
"I-I'm so sorry" he says, you swore to yourself that you could hear his voice cracks a little bit
You turn to face him while using both of your hands to hold his cheeks
His eyes are filled with guilty and regret
"What is it?" Your tone is serious, you're worried for him
"I'm sorry that I didn't asked you to prom before and it's all my fault" he broke down into tears
Your eyes go wide and for a minute, you thought your heart stopped
"Y-you have feelings for me? at that time? when I thought-"
You're shocked and paused for a second
"I thought I was the only one"
"I-I know and I was so stupid, I wish I could've done more, I really wish that I do something before because I-" he sniffles and his voice is shaking
Your heart breaks for him
You pulled him back for a hug and this time it felt like his hugging you like it was the last breath of his life
You rubbed his back and said reassuring words
"I blamed myself for not asking you to the prom"
You cried with him while smiling sadly
"That's alright, Eddie- it's just a prom-"
He removed himself from you "No- no, it's not okay, Y/N"
You sigh while you wipe his tears away
He hold both of your hands to get your attention
"You always say you're okay but you're really not"
"Eddie, we didn't have enough money to attend that kind of event and we both know that"
"I know, but I could've at least try and do something if I really want it but I didn't"
He sighs in exasperation
You watched him as he put his hands on top of his head
"Eddie, I forgive you and I will never ever hate you and I will always love you, please, don't blame yourself, you chose to redo your wrongdoings before and I am forever grateful for that, you always did the right things at the end" you smile at him
Your words grows a smile on his face, a melancholic smile- he is still teary eyed
"Make up for the lost time?"
You grin at him "Yeah, Eddie- let's not dwindle in the past"
He closes the gap between the two of you as you both kissed in the most sweetest as possible
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Eddie can't sleep that night, he can see your chest rises up and down- you're so comfortable when you're sleeping beside him- it always made his heart soft
He carefully removes his arm where your head rests and he pulls himself out of the bed- he covers you with blanket
You're so unbelievably beautiful, the way the moonlight kisses your skin, it's like he never stopped falling in love you over and over
He kissed your forehead before he goes down at the kitchen to grab a glass of water
He glanced at the clock and it says "1AM"
"Fuck" he groans as he lean both of his hands against the kitchen table
Your voice echoes on his head, he can't stop thinking about what he could possibly do
At that moment he got an idea
He picks up the telephone and dials a number
"Hello?" He sounds groggy but Eddie doesn't even care to notice it
"Uh- sorry man, I didn't mean to wake you up"
He looks at his alarm clock on his bedside table "It's 1am- dude"
"I-I know- can I ask you for a favor?"
"Sure, man whatever you say, Munson"
"I-I wanted to make a prom for Y/N, I will do anything t-to make her happy and make up for the lost time"
"That's really sweet, man"
"Does that mean you're in?"
"The hell? Of course! Let's meet up tomorrow at my place and we'll talk about it"
"O-Okay, sure"
"Alright, goodnight"
"Steve?"
"Yeah?"
"I really do appreciate the help, man, this means a lot to me"
"It's nothing, dude, I know how much you adore her, I'll see you tomorrow"
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You woke up to find Eddie is missing beside you
You frowned, maybe he's having a band practice with Jeff and Gareth
It's Saturday
You get up and grabbed the red checkered flannel from him that you always liked, it brings so much warmth into your heart everytime you wear it
The phone rangs- it knocks you off in your Eddie's scent daze
"Hello?"
"Girl- get your ass right here now!" Robin voice shouts in the receiver making you move back away from the phone
"What?!" You don't know if she's serious or not but that tone it means something else
"Just get over here at school" she hangs up before you can say something
You look back at the phone as if she can see your puzzled expression
But you did what she told you to do anyways, so you showered and grabbed a pair of Eddie's black sweatpants and a gray hanging blouse
"Is she there yet?" Dustin says over with the walkie-talkie
"Nope, she's not here" Max replies as she kept on the look out
"Don't tell me you startled her in 8am in the morning" Nancy says as she watches Robin tenses up
"Well, you guys told me not to sound excited, I tried to be not suspicious as I can" Robin raises both of her hands in surrender
Nancy sighs "As long as she buys it, we're all good"
"Guys, I can see you bickering- be alert!" Max voice immediately made the two young adults focused on the area
"Robin? Nancy?" You approached your friends but you seem to not overheard the walkie-talkie
Nancy need to restrain her gasp seeing you standing in front of them
Robin raises both of eyebrows as she tries not to lose her cool "That was fast, okay come on, let's go"
Robin reaches out to your hand as she pulls you to walk over to Eddie's van, as Nancy follows suit
"Not suspicious, huh?" Robin whispers to looked back at Nancy
"Shh!" Nancy shushes Robin as she rolls her eyes
Nancy looks over to Max giving the signal
"Y/N is here! Robin and Nancy are getting her ready! The plan is going well" Max says on the walkie-talkie
"Oh my god, oh my god- Copy that" Dustin runs over at the opened gymnasium
"Your girl is here, Eddie!" Dustin shouts as Mike, Jane, Lucas, Argyle, Jonathan and Steve, quickly goes all around to check for last touches before leaving the area
"Never been so nervous in my entire fucking life" Eddie runs his fingers through his hair, he can feel his body shaking
"You'll be fine, Eddie" Will assures him as he hangs up the banner
"Can you tell me guys, what is going on?!?"
You paused when your eyes fall to the beautiful rosegold long silk gown with flattering glitters details on the chest area of the chest
It's the most prettiest piece of clothing, you've ever seen
You looked over at the side, The high heeled shoes are to die for- it even has the same colors as the dress, what's more is that it has red bottoms, your chest tightens, these things are too much expensive
Nancy smiles and Robin grins even wider
You're so confused and where the heck is Eddie?!?
You know Eddie- he would never let anyone else let inside of his beloved RV Van without his eyesight
Or.... This means really something else
That's only for you to find out sooner enough
Robin made you sit down as she starts hairstyling your hair
Nancy on the other hand starts doing your makeup
You started to lose to look for more answers as you they helped you with the dress and your shoes
You glance at the mirror and you're taken aback
You love doing makeovers and getting dressed but this.... it feels different-
"Oh my gosh" you say
Robin is very proud of what she did to your hair "I didn't know you could do these like this, Robs- I love it"
Nancy started to put accessories on you
"This makeup is perfect, Nance" you looked at her in the reflection
"You deserved it, you know" she says as she helps you get up
They accompany you until they reached the gymnasium door
"Go out there and have fun!" Nancy says as she hugs you
"You're making it difficult for me guys to understand this situation but thank you for doing all of this?" You motion to yourself from top to bottom
Robin hugs you as well "We're your very own fairy godmother's" she snickers
Nancy snorts "Robs, come on, we'll see you later, Y/N"
You watch Robin and Nancy walk away and turn to look at the gymnasium door, your furrowed brows never leaves your face as you start to open the door
You gasped as you looked around
The lights are pretty, the decorations and the garlands are placed very neat
There's only one table in the center of the gymnasium
There's a banner on the top of the stage, it says "Prom 1985" the moment of realization starts to sinks in
You put a hand over your mouth as you looked back, you see Eddie with black suit and tie with silver chains hanging from his neck
His polo is a bit open on the front to give you a glimpse of his tattooed chest
He is so freaking handsome, the light behind him just hits him so menacingly
"Eddie?" You became emotional as you run over to him with a big hug
He immediately receives it as he breathes into your scent and hugs you tighter
"Surprise?" Eddie struggles to be smug and silly at the same time, you can feel his smirk but also you can feel his heart rummaging on his chest
You looked up back at him with your eyes are now misty just like him
You glanced over to his shoulder as you found your friends cheering for the both of you
"Surprise! Y/N!" You heard a couple of laughter's and whistles from your friends
Your smiled at him and at your friends back and forth
"You're so unbelievable" you couldn't explain what you're feeling now
"Do- Do you like it?"
"What?"
"Do you like it?" He gestures to your clothes and the gymnasium
Your eyes go wide "Wait, you bought this?"
He sheepishly smiles at you, his cheeks turns into crimson red
"Yeah, I did"
"You bought it just for me?" Your eyes are glassy with warm smile on your face
He nods as he pulls you even more closer
Your eyes locked and you couldn't help to look down
"What's all of this, Eddie?" You ask him
He holds your chin up to make you look at him
"I wanted to make you happy" he says as he runs his thumb over your cheek
"You did all of this for me?" You hold his hand as you couldn't comprehend of what he has done for you
He nods again "Yeah, I did it all of you because I love you more and if that isn't enough I convinced Mr. Higgins to use this gymnasium for us"
You giggled as you hug him again "Thank you, Eddie, I love you too so much"
You couldn't wrap your head around of how lucky you are, he truly cares about you and the fact he prioritized your feelings first makes you bawl everytime
"Wait, you really like it?!?" He pulled you back to hold both of your cheeks
You smiled at him so sweetly "Yes, I do, Eddie!"
"She loves it!" He shouts over to your friends, as the screams grows louder
You laugh as you hide your face on Eddie's forearm
He presses a kiss on to your cheek as he says "Let me take a look at you"
He raises your hand as he twirls you around
He exaggeratedly clutching to his heart as if someone took out his oxygen
You chuckled "Eds, you're so unserious" while shaking your head
"Only for you, sweets" he winks at you as he pulls you back closer to his chest
His breath hitches when you reach out to move his hair out of the way from his face
"This is the face that I'm going to settle for"
You pinched his cheeks making him laugh
For a moment there, you're so sure of your words that are coming out from your mouth
You are certain that he is your person and you don't want anyone else
You rest your hands on his shoulders as he holds you by the waist
"And this is the man that I'm going to marry someday"
His silliness faded from his face of what you just said to him
His mouth is hanging open
The moment is so heartfelt as you can see it from his eyes, he is absolutely very happy
The waterworks are happening as his tears fell from his face
There's no need for words at that time just complete happiness and contentment
"Thank you so much, Eddie, for like literally for everything"
He sniffles "I ain't gonna let you down no more, sweetheart"
"You're not going to because you're already making me the happiest wife in the world"
"And I'll be the luckiest husband in the world"
He closes the gap between the two of you as you share both loving kisses with each other
*Queen - Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy starts playing in the background*
You both pulled back to see Jeff and Gareth waving at you
Eddie points out to them with a playful glare
You listen to the song as you hum along
"You probably didn't do that on purpose" you smirk at him
Eddie is highly aware how much you love the band Queen
"Of course, not" he pretends that he didn't know anything of it
You giggled as you pulled him to kiss you
"You know, you're kinda like the song"
"Yeah?" he says as you both start to sway with the music
"My good old fashioned lover boy" you say as you rest your head on his chest
"I'll take it, sweetheart" he pulled you back to start kissing you everywhere, your lips, cheek, nose, forehead, neck
You laugh and danced with your future husband and friends and the entire night was the possibly the most memorable ever of your relationship
It turns out to be the bestest prom of your life
#eddie munson#eddie munson fluff#eddie munson fic#eddie munson x fem!reader#stranger things 4#eddie munson x female reader#eddie munson x y/n#eddie x fem!reader#agirlwholovesrockstarsfics#queen#queenband#goodoldfashionedloverboy#queenfan#Spotify
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Heartbeat 3/3
Summary; you had know Aaron hotchner since university, and ever since the first day of knowing him you had the biggest, fattest, most overwhelming crush on the guy. But for some reason he never knew, or even noticed. You had eventually learned to push the feelings away trying to figure out your own problems, focusing on yourself. Then, years later when you joined the bau after getting transferred... Things seemed to go downhill after reuniting with Aaron. But there's a bit of a romance twinkling between you and one of your new coworkers.
Aaron hotchner x nb!reader (past romance)
Spencer Reid x nb!reader (SLIGHT romance)
bau x nb!reader (platonic)
WARNINGS; you do ALMOST die at the end :P it's angst. There's canon levels of violence but may or may not be a little more violent, there's mention of unrequited love, you don't kill yourself but the unsub almost kills you , this also may Incudes a few adult rated scenes and language.
(Now a psa, the reader aka you in this story is a bit fem presenting and gets along better with the gorls. There's mentions of typically "girl" related things like makeup n stuff. Just a psa, oh and also Im still getting used to writing longer stories and it might feel like it jumps from one scene to another a bit quickly and that's because is it. Also I'm very reliant on speech rather than detail.)
___________
The following day you, Spencer, and Elle all explained what your aunt Naomi had said, and you took the two journals out of your bag and placed then on the table.
"My aunt Naomi was the one who found the clow killer back in 1987, she had found him in the mideof killing her ex boyfriend. She had previously called her father, the cheif of police at the time, on a payphone and told him she found the killer adt et to her boyfriends house. These notebooks are full of her notes, evidence, and other things that can definitely help us on this. Especially since this copycat is copying the clown killer down to the crime scenes and the outfits" you explained as they all looked through the notebooks and Gideon seemed to be very invested.
"She knew who is was before her boyfriend was killed?" He asked you and you nodded.
"She realized who it was the same day and went to the police and her father. She had a suspect list it's in the back of the lighter colored journal. And she seemed to really think it was her old English teacher" you explained and he gave a slight nod. Before looking back through the notebook.
Morgan looked at you for a second before asking. "you didn't bring that jean jacket with you?" You nodded to his question, "my aunt Naomi gave it to me when we went to talk to her last night" you say while looking at the crime scenes photos.
"Well it looks vintage, it's probably older than you" he teased and you just rolled your eyes. Getting back to figuring out a profile.
___________
It had gotten late, you and Spencer went out to the crime scenes and compared them to the ones from the real clown killer.
"It just doesn't make any sense, how would the copycat get more the same costumes? The were discontinued years ago" you say looking at the clown costume on the victim in the photo.
"Maybe our unsub got a hold of them... Or they're making the costumes their selves, I think th costms from the photo are moe silk that cotton. There's a clear difference in the stitching since the new one seemed to have a few rips in the stitching" Spencer commented and you made a "ahh" sound as you acknowledge that could definitely be the answer to ha question. "That could definitely be the case, the unsub must not be good enough at sewing for it be identical to the first!" You nod while walking around the crime scene.
Spencer stood there and seemed a bit uncomfortable, you turned fully to look at him "Spencer are you okay? You look kind of uncomfortable" you inquire and his breath seemed to catch in his throat. "I just.. I dont want to sound insensitive....." He half mumbled and you cocked a brow. "don't worry I know your not the best at words sometimes. Do you have a personal question?" You waked a few steps closer putting the journal back into your medium sized satchel.
Spencer gave you a very concentrated look. "Uhm.... How do you and hotch know each other? I.. didn't want to overhear but while I was walking to the break room I heard a few seconds of your conversation... " He asked his ears turned red with embarrassment from clearly being nosey.
You snorted out a laugh and patted his shoulder shaking your head. "It's okay Spence, hotch and I went to the same university and became friends. We had an argument a few years back, about seven years. I had been going to Europe to take care of my grandma and he tracked me down to my hotel room the night of my flight. I had cut him off two weeks before that so our last conversation was a argument. It wasn't anything really" you explained to him and he nodded while you spoke.
"I see.. do you want to go to the second crime scene now?" He asked, you nodded and the two of you walked back up onto the path.
While the two of you were walking Spencer asked you more questions, you found it nice that he was trying to learn more about you as a person outside of work.
"Wait so your thirty?" Spencer asked in shock and you nodded. "Yup, only six years older than you" you smile and he laughed a small bit. "I thought you were about as old as me. You look like you'd be twenty four" he joked and you chuckled. "well I just have amazing skin care-" you stumble, tripping over a rock you didn't see, your phone flying out of your hand and off of the path. "Shit- I'll get it just stay here" you curse, jogging off the path to look for your phone. It was dark so you used your flashlight to look for it.
You heard an odd cracking sound and called out. "Spence you okay?" It took a second before he responded. "Yeah! All good" he seemed confused.
You looked around before you found your phone. You smiled when you found it and jogged back up to the path to see Spencer unconscious on the ground, his forehead bleeding. "Spencer?! Spencer!" You rushed over getting on your knees and trying to wake him up. You quickly checked for a pulse which was still there, you took your satchel off to try and prop his head up and started to dial hotches number. It rang one time before he answered and someone ripped you up, causing you to drop your phone.
"Get off of me!" You screamed as you tried to get away from the hooded figure. "Shut up" they said as the held a rag up to your face, you thrashed around before feeling weak and it went black as you passed out.
(Hours later)
Spencer woke up and saw the blood on the grundfrn his head, he looked around in panic. You were gone. "Oh no- no no no- (F/NAME)? (F/NAME)!" Spencer yelled and when he received no answer he called your cell phone only to hear it ringing just a few feet away. He rushed over to see it taped to a tree with a note. He didn't know what to do so called hotch in a panic.
"Reid? Where have you been everyone's been looking for you and (L/name), they called me and I heard them yell. We thought you guys were in trouble" hotch half scoled and Spencer panicked. "The unsub, they got (F/name), their phone is still here and there's anoe from he unsub we were waking back to the hotel and I don't remember what happened I-" Spencer started to choke on his words and "Reid were on our way, where are you? Spencer? Spencer, where. Are. You." Hotch spoke slowly to try and get through to a on the verge of a melt down Spencer. "We... Down the left path from the first crime scene." Spencer spoke as clearly ashe could and hotch responded quickly "okay stay on the line we'll be there"
___________
You woke up tied to a chair, you couldn't see right, everything blurry. You tried to speak but felt something covering your mouth. A mask? It felt moe metal. Like a muzzle or something.
"Your lucky I didn't kill your little friend" a male voice said from Infront of you. Your head fell forward with heaviness. You felt whoever was Infront of you bring your head to look up.
"Maybe I used to much Rohypnol... You look a bit to out of it. Hopefully you can still eat. Now if you scream no one will hear you this entire room is sound proofed." The voice spoke softer and you groaned trying to pull away but they took the mask off. "Okay now open up, it's chicken and rice" he spoke as you tried to pull away but his grip tightened on your jaw. You were forced to open your jaw and warm chicken and rice was put into your mouth with a soft fork that felt like one of those forks they give little kids. "Okay now chew and swallow, it shouldn't be to hard" he said and his hand covered the front of your mouth. You complied, chewing the food before swallowing it.
This went on for you don't know how long, but soon enough the man stood up and let your face go. "hopefully you know why I took you instead of kill you (F/Name)" the man spoke and you shook your head, a bit more aware of your surroundings now, your vision not as blurry. "you don't? Well it should be obvious. I cant let my own child send me to jail, but luckily your aunt Naomi sent the wrong ma to jail. That man was just killing josh to kill him. That old English teacher never liked Josh or the aunt Naomi. Are you thirsty? Chocolate or strawberry milk?" He spoke as your eyes widened, at a loss for words you brought your head up to look at your father.
You hadn't seen him since your sixteenth birthday. He still had brown eyes and (hair/color) hair. He looked at you with a clear look of empathy.
"But-.. why? Dad why would you do this?" You asked in disbelief and he sighed. "I made a promise to you when you were five, and that was I would protect you until you die. The people I've killed were either child predators or convicted felons. Except the one woman, but she had said to me that if didn't teach you to be a well behaved child she would smack you herself. I couldn't let anything happen to my doll" he said with the clear belief that he did it all to protect you. "Dad... This isn't okay..." You say with tears starting to weld up in the corners of your eyes. He sucked in a breath as he walked over. "You'll be fine, you won't ever get hurt again. Especially by that Aaron guy. You wont ever have to worry about anything. Daddy will always be here to protect you" your father said kissing your forehead and hugging you. You couldn't help but cry. You were scared, and you father was standing in front of you, whom you thought didn't want anything to do with you.
___________
The team was searching high and low for you. Until your mother mentioned your father still lived here.
"Reid you stay here with JJ and Gideon, Morgan, elle, your with me." Hotch said and then they were off and to your fathers house.
The house itself was in amazing condition. It was two stories with a wrap around porch, just down the street from your aunt's. It was a brow color, the yard had a large oak tree with an old tree house and tireswing that clearly hadn't been used in years. There were two saint Bernards on the porch sitting on the porch swing. One of them lifted it's head looking at the thee agents walking up onto the porch. The San Bernard layed it's had back down. Morgan knocked on the door and it opened quickly after they hard shuffling. A taller man with short (h/c) hair, brown eyes, and a million freckles opened the door. He looked as if he had just woken up.
"Are you mr.(L/Name), Frank (L/Name)?" Hotch asked and the man squinted, "yes? Is there something wrong?" He asked confusion riddled his being.
"we're here to ask you a few questions about your child? (F/Name) (L/Name)?" Elle asked and the mans face was confused. "Did something happen? I haven't seen my kiddo in years, not since their sixteenth birthday.. here come in" Frank offered opening the door. When they all walked in Frank whistled to the two dogs that got up and yawned loudly before walking into h house themselves and going straight to the dog beds near the fire place.
"Is it alright if we take a look around?" Elle asked and Frank nodded "that's okay, but uhm... My kids room? Ive tried to keep it clean and all that jazz, they cut contact with me after moving to Europe. But go ahead, your free to look around" he spoke with clear inferiority. The man was clearly very submissive. He clearly didn't want them to be suspicious of him or anything of the sorts.
"Mr.(L/name) can you tell me about your relationship with (F/Name)?" Hotch asked and your father gave a worried look. "Well, we had a good relationship, (N/name) was here every other month. Their mother didn't want to leave (N/Name) here and we decided to give them to oneanother every other month... We had a good relationship, they told me practically everything including crushes they had and their stresses." He explained hotch nodded and asked. "Frank did you ever feel like
(f/name)'s mother didn't treat the agreement th right way sometimes?"
Frank seems hesitant but spoke again. "well... Bernie never payed for anything for (N/Name), anytime my kid needed anything I payed for it. Their university tuition I payed for it, I even helped pay for them to move to Europe with their grandmother and Bernie... But bernie always lied to my kid, she always told (N/Name) that I didn't want anything to do with them when all I wanted was to be in their life. It was unfair that I didn't get to spend any time with them after they turned sixteen." Frank explained his eyes teary and full of deceit. Hotch could see Frank was hiding something. Then Elle showed up behind Frank and mouthed.
'we found something, basement'
"Frank we saw this house has a basement, could we see inside it?" Elle asked and they watched as Frank tensed.
"No. You can't." He sucked in. And Morgan spoke. "Why not? You haven't got anything to hide right-" they all heard a loud crashing sound. Frank stood up and ran past them into the hallway where the basement stays were and rushed down them, the door was open and a broken chair was laying in front of it. Ropes cut and on the ground as well.
Before Frank could do anything Morgan had him at gunpoint as Elle rushed to (F/Name) who was bleeding, they had hit their head on the side of the table. They flinched away from Elle their eyes widened and dilated.
"GET AWAY FROM MY KID!" Frank yelled he had a knife which must have been a concealed weapon and went to stab elle.
But the knife didn't even come close to Elle. (F/Name) had pulled elle behind them and the knife went into them instead. It took seconds before Frank let out a shaky gasp. "No- no I didn't-" it gave Morgan and hotch time to handcuff him. Morgan was silently cursing at himself for not shooting Frank. Elle helped (F/Name) lay down, they were struggling to breath since the knife went up and may have punctured there lung or how it was placed. Morgan called for backup and a ambulance while Elle and hotch talked to (F/Name).
"Is Spencer okay? Is he alive?" You asked them tiredly and Elle nodded "he's okay, he's alive. Tell.. tell me about your favorite memory with your pet!" Elle spoke shakily. Trying to make sure you stayed awake while the ambulance was coming. "Favorite.. uhm... Oh, when I was seventeen I adopted this...... Little old dog.. it only had a few years left.... But his name was... Fin, his name was fin... And when I got him the shelter workers told me.. he was aggressive but... He was actually..... Really... Sweet" you started to close your eyes but this time hotch spoke. "(F/Name) do you remember the coffee shop you slipped in? When we were studying together?" He said quickly as you let out a hoarse chuckle. "yeah, that was funny....man my head hurts" you say shakily bringing your hand to the side of your head that was cut open from the table when you broke free. It was still bleeding.
When the ambulance arrived and they got you into the stretcher you had gone unconscious but you were still alive. They all rushed to the hospital. Your mother in the ambulance with you since she had show up with the other agents. While in the ambulance you woke again looking around you went to feel your chest but the EMT's stopped you, you felt a hand on your cheeks. "it's okay sweet pea, your going to be fine" she spoke shakily and you furrowed your eyebrows ather blurry figure. "mom? Mom is Elle okay?" You half mumbled with a groan at the pain that was surfacing from your head. "she okay, can you see me?" Your mom asked. You turned your head to look at her. "yeah.. but your... all blurry like if was in a cup of.... Of water" you speak slowly.
When getting to the hospital the doctors and nurses had all rushed around you, trying to sober you up from the horrific amounts of Rohypnol found in your body. You had lost to much blood and halfway through fixing your wound they hadn't do a blood transfusion. And when they got you into a hospital room after fixing you up you were asleep. That was until you woke up again for the the second time since being stabbed. You looked around the room tiredly and see Elle, Spencer, your mom, your aunt Naomi, and Aaron.
"Look I know I almost died but I'm not dead so calm down" you joke and see Elle and spencers heads shoot to you direction Elle almost jumping out of her seat.
"You know for someone who could be dead you got some nerve joking like that" you mom scolled and you just giggle at her teary eyes. She kissed your forehead and you sat up tiredly rubbing your eyes. You looked at Spencer without any words. You just stared at him for a minute before speaking. "Are you okay? Is your head still hurt?" You asked, he gave you an *are you kidding me* look and shook his head. "No I'm okay, but are you okay? You had a whole punctured lung." He asked and you shrugged. "Meh, I'm good. You know I think nows a good time for me to tell you that you have this weird mark on your cheek. It looks like food or something" you say joking with his but he gives a confused look and wiped his cheeks. You smiled with amusement and whispered "I'm messing with you Spence" which earned you a glare from the brown haired guy.
The your aunt Naomi spoke. "so who wants Chinese? I'm ordering some for take out" you smiled at everyone in the room talking happily.
For almost dieing you definitely were happy.
___________
Now listen, this is my first time writing a planned out fanfiction. I'm a little rusty and I'm not the best at writing so Im sorry if it's a bit jumpy, not smooth, or anything of the sorts. But I hope you enjoyed :P.
#spencer reid x reader#aaron hotch x reader#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds x reader#elle greenaway#light angst#slight angst#hospital room#jason gideon#criminal minds season 1#derek morgan#jj criminal minds#slight romance#not noticable romance
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🤔 💭 for Selene and Lorenzo?
(the answers for these two vary wildly depending on the point in their story, so I'm setting this imaginary interview sometime during the timeskip between poe1 and Deadfire)
🤔 THINKING FACE — what three emotions tend to dominate your mindset? do you know why they do?
Selene:
"A lot of the time, I'm not really feeling something - just keeping track of everything that's happening around me, if that makes sense. I reach out to other minds a lot, and it's much easier to do when you're not absorbed in your own emotions.
...That's probably not a very good answer. Hold on. Let me think. Things I feel a lot -
I guess, fear? Not that I'm afraid all the time, but I'm cautious. There's a lot of dangerous things I need to keep track of. Fear is good for that. It's the core of survival.
And then there's - well, I, I still don't really know what to call it. It's the feeling I get when things are going well. Like when I see a cipher I've been training get better. Or when I'm out in the woods, and the weather is good, and it's peaceful. Or when Edér's around.
Joy? Is that joy? I don't know. I don't really feel it like he does; when he's happy about something, it's... bright, and there's a lot of it. It's like a warm wind, or a sunrise. It's different for me, but, whatever it is, it feels nice.
And the last one is anger, I think. It's just that - sometimes, I think about all those things I just talked about, and that nice feeling, and then I think about something, or someone, trying to take that away. And I feel - I know - that I'd do anything, destroy anything, to stop that. Nothing else would matter.
So, yeah. That's three."
Lorenzo:
"...Huh. I just realized that "excited" is the first answer that comes to mind. Not that long ago, I would have had a very different first thought.
I used to be afraid, mostly. Anxious. Waiting for the next terrible thing to happen. It has gotten a lot better since then, didn't it?
But, yes, excited. In many ways, I'm trying to make up for lost time - there are so many things I couldn't do before that are available to me now. There are so many things I'm still looking forward to. It's overwhelming, sometimes.
...Can I say "curious" if I already said "excited"? I feel like those are too similar.
Oh. Confused. I also feel confused - often. For the same reasons I feel excited, usually.
And I do feel anxious, still. Sometimes in the good sense; sometimes not so much."
💭 THOUGHT BALLOON — is there something or someone you find yourself thinking about more often than other things? if so, why do you think you do this?
Selene:
(She can't help but laugh.)
"...Well, you just asked me to talk about myself and I still ended up talking about him, so yeah, there is someone I think about often.
Why? Well, I like him. And I miss him a little; it's going to be a while until my next trip to Dyrford.
Also, you know, for a really long time, in my thoughts, it's been just me and memories of bad things that didn't even happen to me. Then it was that, and visions from thousands of years ago, and a lot of dead people.
I guess what I'm saying is, it's nice to have something good to think about, for a change."
Lorenzo:
"...I suppose I think about chants a lot. I've been trying to write my own, and the nature of the process requires you to keep the chant in mind near constantly; you must recite it over and over, to familiarize the local spirits with it. No one in Caed Nua is surprised to see me walk through the hallways muttering to myself, anymore; I've warned everyone I'm working on a chant, though, so they know that I'm not losing it quite yet."
(He chuckles at his own words; then, another thought crosses his mind, and his expression becomes less mirthful.)
"...I do think about my Awakening, every now and then. About Cassius.
He's gone now, I don't feel his presence, but, when I go to sleep at night... I can't help but wonder if tonight is the night he'll be waiting for me, on the other side of unconsciousness.
I can't help but wonder if I'm ready to face him again."
#thanks for the ask!! this IS fun#pillars of eternity#selene when asked to talk about herself: okay but have you heard about My Favorite Person In The World#oc: watcher selene#oc: watcher lorenzo#his voice was also fun to figure out because he's Not well spoken at the beginning of poe1#on account of not knowing a lot of aedyran#but by the time the timeskip rolls around he's pretty well spoken#and he has picked up a lot of vocabulary too#edérene tag#herearedragons writing
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I came to a realization/prediction/hope this weekend which I feel the need to share with you.
I think there’s going to be a moment in the Elucien book when Elain is going to hurt Lucien, badly. Idk if it will be telling him about Azriel or something else, but I think Lucien is going to tell her he needs time.
I think it will be obvious how hurt he is, and Elain is going to feel terribly about it. Whether or not she comes to this conclusion herself or someone else will remind her (Vassa? Jurian? Eris? An entirely new character?) I don’t know, but she’s going to remember that when she needed time, Lucien gave it to her. So, she’s going to need to swallow her wants (& maybe pride) to give him that same courtesy in return. And in doing so, she’ll gain a new appreciation for him, and his character.
I believe this will be after they’ve built a banter, hell maybe even after they’ve already kissed and been quite intimate. Something which truly makes her scared that she might loose him for good, and forces her to face that deep seated fear of rejection. A similarity between herself and her mate, but something she’s previously avoided and now can’t.
Obviously, I think they will end up together. I think Elain will let Lucien come back to her, and when he does, force him to hear her apology (because he never gets the apologies he’s deserved, and can be too forgiving, somewhat to his detriment.) And, I think this will be the foundation of her protectiveness of him. Not that she wouldn’t have been be before this situation, but that now she’d have a newfound fire in facing anyone who came for him. A loyalty and fierceness equally matched by her mate.
Anyways, I just wanted to share and ask what you think!
🧼💖
NTSSM!!!! I wouldn't be surprised if we already had that happen in SF. That scene where Cassian says, "Where's Elain?" and Lucien responds (voice dripping with discomfort), "I am not always in this city to see my mate" then he later goes on to look at her with longing on Solstice but the whole thing with Az happens. I'm not sure how much Lucien is aware of what nearly went down that night but he must have sensed something in the last year. I imagine he's gotten to the point, regardless of how much he longs for her, where he's frustrated with the situation, where he is hurt with the situation. And I think the start of their book will be with him fed up with her actions and where we maybe see a little bit of a temper from him. Where he's kind of given up on the idea of there being hope for them. Though I'm not sure I see them having progression in their book only for him to be hurt by her and him telling her he needs more time (at least not in a major way) because that halts the story overall. If Elain and Lucien's arc involves them traveling to Spring, the human lands, the continent, etc., they're going to be forced to interact for that fact alone and I don't see either Elain or Lucien being the one to hold a grudge during that time. I also don't see Lucien being so hurt that he would shut her out for any reason. Normally mated males would rather sacrifice their own happiness than cause distress to the female. Though maybe it would be something along the lines of what we saw with Feyre and Rhys, when she lashed out after their visit to the CON or Nesta and Cassian after he said he didn't have a choice in being shackled to her and she called in their bargain. Both Rhys and Cassian were hurt by some things their mate said and though both pairings need a few days to clear their minds, it didn't make the guys question wanting to be together. With her endgame pairings, she usually has the FMC apologize for her past behaviors but she doesn't have the male typically push her aware for anything. I do think though, when Elain finally lets go of her stubbornness in regards to the bond and she gives that big apology to Lucien for her behavior the last two years, that's when we'll really see the protectiveness you mentioned come into play.
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oh my god ahaha so, i was reading through my writing journal from 2023. this is because today i am embarking on the semi-daunting journey of figuring out where i left off in drafting narrative!fic, and one of the specific steps i identified that i could do (to avoid overwhelming myself with "uh. just get familiar with like. 20k of draft material hidey") was to read through last year's writing journal and see what i was thinking about the last time i actually wrote for this project. i haven't yet gotten to the point in the journal where i did (i'm reading backward and i was so immersed in my secret saito fic that all of the last entries are just that), but i did find AN ABSOLUTE GEM.
from december 26, 2023:
oh and the other thing i wanna try before i even start the revision wishlist is a readthrough where i just pay attention to what ticks me into the positive / negative feelings as i am reading!!! the way george saunders recommends! i think this wil be an interesting exercise in paying attention to what keeps my attention as a reader, since it will be important to know that as i am revising because i subscribe to the school of thought that i am revising to MY experience of the story.
this!!!!! this is now an INTEGRAL part of my writing process now! i can't believe i've had this for less than two months! like i had kind of forgotten how much i thought about the beginning of devotion (my secret saito fic) as specifically a "proof of process", but i'd also forgotten that i didn't even do this prior to that fic! like, this is how i hand-hold myself through the first readthrough of my shitty down drafts! this is also what i do to get from the first semi-decent up drafts to the rest of the up drafts! like ... wow. truly the start of an era there.
it's kind of strange to think about the timing of this realization / idea (?) to do what i now abbreviate as a "p/n readthrough". what i'm referencing here when i say "the way george saunders recommends!" is -- there's a section in his book a swim in a pond in the rain where he talks about how reading for fun and reading for critique are pretty much the same, in both cases you have this like, meter in your head (dial?) where as you're reading sometimes you run into something you like, and that ticks the needle into the [P]ositive, and sometimes you run into something you don't like or that bores you, and that ticks the needle into the [N]egative. and when you're critiquing, you just write that down, and maybe dress it up to be a little more palatable to the writer you're providing feedback for. but like, i read about this idea in [checks my goodreads] JANUARY of 2023! and then didn't even do this now extremely loadbearing thing in my writing process until december!
all that to say, it's wild how these things work out sometimes! this p/n readthrough has carried me extremely well through three fic drafts (two up drafts and one down draft) in the last month and a half (for when future!me stumbles across this post and can't be bothered to cross-reference with my writing journal, that's the up draft of mini heist!au and the up/down drafts for weilan blowjob fic). and now i can't imagine my process without it! it's made my writing process much kinder to me!
i used to be soooo daunted by going from a shitty first draft to any better draft. i used to just kind of read through the down draft and go "okay here are all the things that are Bad and make me feel Bad when i run into them in the doc, let me immediately write down the things that are Wrong and also i must immediately think of a way to Fix It". like, i would really only be looking at things that felt like they weren't working, and just be like "X isn't working" in my notes. and ... yeah. of course that kind of sucked, emotionally. this is also like, not how i would ever beta anybody else's fic.
and now, in the structure of the p/n readthrough ... i'm a lot more ... inquisitive, i guess, is the best word for it. first of all i'm approaching with more of a "what parts of this fic are close to what i'm aiming for, and what parts aren't?" which, for me at least, is a much gentler approach than "what is wrong with this fic?" haha. the goal isn't "find out what is Bad in the fic and Eliminate It", but the goal of this process is to help me to a deeper and clearer understanding of the themes, characterization / character arcs, story arcs, worldbuilding, etc, of the fic i'm writing. and a lot of the time, reading through, what is revealed is that i don't know what i'm going for, which is just as useful to me as the places where i can go "oh yeah this is exactly what i want to be doing."
and the other big difference that makes this gentler to me is the way i provide myself feedback in this structure. rather than going "X is a problem, it needs to be Different In Some Way", my notes are phrased as "oh X is happening, but i kind of wish Y was happening instead because i want to see [whatever]" or "i want to explore [whatever]" or "i vaguely remember a note i can't find anymore that i wanted to do [thing] here". for me, phrasing it as things i want, or things i wish were happening that aren't happening in the fic, lets me approach the readthrough more from a reader's perspective (someone who's looking for narrative satisfaction from the fic and just so happens to have my exact taste, hehe). the changes from before are that i'm doing a lot more reflection to identify why i want more or less of what i'm seeing in the fic, which goes back to that idea of the goal of this process being "understanding the fic" rather than "identifying the problems in the fic".
and then, understanding the fic sort of leads into identifying the places where the fic is farther from where i want it to be, and where it's closer. most of the time, a p/n readthrough gets me to a new rough outline of how i want the major elements of the fic to come together, because in this framework it's a lot easier for me to jump back and forth between the details (whatever actual in-the-moment specific decisions i've made in the down draft) and the bigger-picture understanding of the story and themes of the fic. (caveat: i've only done this for fic that's like, under 5k-ish, so who knows as i venture into longer fics lol)
okay haha. this is so long. if you are still here, i salute your ability to read my five million rambling, thank u, mwah.
#hidey speaks#hidey talks fic#lmao okay so uh. this is just me talking about my revision process “breakthrough” (????)#<- kind of a big word for something that boils down to “hidey learning how to apply Structure to be gentler to myself in fic revision”#ok back to like. what i was doing earlier. lol.#i am determined to reorient myself in this longfic that i haven't touched for uhh several months at least. by 1pm today#oh god writing this post took like 45min and now i have only an hour HAHA FUCK LOL GOODBYE
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I find it hard to believe that the gp is obsessed with Louis and his 'child'. The majority of the gp doesn't know who he is. They don't play his music on radio and there's only a handful of articles about him, so why would they? Anon must be describing fans. Fans can also post from their personal accounts. As for everyone in latam mocking Larries I suppose it depends on where you go. Others have said that their latam shows have been full of Larries. I agree that his 'father' image does nothing for his career. When his album got number 1 UK (thanks to fans) it did a free fall off the charts the next day. So who is buying his music? It seems like it's only just fans.
No yeah, exactly. Him being a father does nothing for the gp cause the gp just simply doesn't remember him. It's not like we've gotten many articles on his parenthood the last two years either, it was mostly contained to the fandom and with each push of the kid, more and more people were taking a step back. He just doesn't need to do it, that’s the thing. It is completely unnecessary. The doc didn't need to happen, the bg push didn't need to happen with that either. His curse and at the same time blessing was/is that he can only rely on his fans, so he wouldn't risk anything with ending bg 2 years ago or even now. But instead he will go around saying tour made him realize things then do the exact opposite of what the fans wanted him to realize by their actions/projects on tour.
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thinking about tobirama today and how he is described in the databook as "self aware" so he must Know about his own biases but he just refuses to acknowledge that they're there lol.
the founders generation had a really rough transition from war to peace. the senju and uchiha clans have not known peace for thousands of years; war is their life. so they had a brief period where nobody knew what to do whatsoever and then war broke out again anyway, on a larger scale than had ever been seen before. so tobi never really got to slow down and look at the good of the village in individual terms, during real lasting peacetime.
therefore his rule was characterized by a kind of wartime harshness that you can see in the way he defends his decisions to put the village > everything else (including the uchiha clan). to tobi it's only logical that inhabitants of konoha cast aside their identity as members of clans, because that strong clan identity was the reason there WAS war for thousands of years before this. he argued in favor of the collective over the individual clan i think not out of a desire to subjugate the uchiha (but so be it if he did, he outright says), but because by putting the village above clans, survival rates will be higher and ideally war will not be as constant (but when it comes, oh boy it's bad, bc now you have nation v nation rather than clan v clan).
ofc in hindsight we can appreciate that these policies led to the extermination of the uchiha, which i DON'T think tobirama set out to do at all. he is very surprised when sasuke reveals that he's the last uchiha left. it's not just that the uchiha clan was exterminated, it's that they were exterminated to maintain the balance of power in an era where clans could no longer afford to exist because nations/villages have replaced them. assimilate or die, basically.
but i don't even think this is anyone's fault in particular (i mean it was specifically hiruzen's fault for not acting soon enough, and tobirama's fault - slightly less directly - by establishing the anbu/police force/other institutions of konoha). the shinobi world had just gotten completely out of hand and was too massive of an issue for any one person to try and fix, especially because of the economics of war that kishimoto just NEVER ADDRESSES.
also it's important to remember that the naruto world does not share our morals. naruto universe shinobi kill and die for a living and this is totally normal. it's their job but it's also their lifestyle, their identity. even hashirama, the one person whose morals come closest to resembling those of our world, can't completely detach himself from this concept. he NEVER tried to get rid of shinobi as a whole, he just didn't want kids fighting in wars. and he's the most radical person in the naruto universe!! he still 100% wanted kids to grow up to become shinobi eventually because that's just what you do!!
basically everything that happened in naruto canon is just What Happens when shinobi whose collective identity is tied to killing and being killed try to define and structure society.
and ultimately it was madara who looked at the shinobi of the world and said fuck the whole thing, this cannot be fixed. but he too is a shinobi, The Ultimate Shinobi if you will (in that fighting is paramount to who he is as a human being). but he also seeks to rid the world of shinobi. the more he fights the more he loses his humanity, but also the more he fights the more he knows who he is and is able to show the world who he is. he’s the PERFECT final villain for a series about identity and violence, and what it means to be a shinobi and to be a good person, and if those two things are reconcilable at all. madara’s infinite tsukuyomi maybe wasn’t ultimately about izuna (though izuna was the initial catalyst for it), it was about humanity. madara realized that he cannot be a protector and a shinobi at the same time. he wants to be a protector but fighting is the only thing he’s good at, so his only option was to take over the world.
ANYWAY i started this meta with tobirama's biases and got completely off track but i think it's funny how tobi plays favorites with his students (and again doesn't acknowledge that he's doing this) but it just occurred to me: what if hiruzen is his favorite student bc he reminds him of kawarama. i'm going to explode and die
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Hey i love your blog specially your faking it recap. I know its been so long since faking it but i have a question do you think karma loved amy way more than amy loved karma? Because i was watching it and i felt like karma cared about amy way more! Do you think the reason karma didn't want to be with Amy was because she was afraid that somehow their relationship couldn't work out and she would lose amy and she didn't want to risk that? So although she would love to be with Amy she decided to not go to that road because at least she have amy as a friend. If some how amy assured karma that they friendship isn't at risk that if their relationship couldn't workout they could go back to being best friends im sure karma didn't hesitate to be with Amy. I just wanted to say that Amy was so important to karma that she couldn't risk losing her. And also i don't buy the idea that carter wanted Amy and karma go back to being friends after they date. I think he said oh amy and karma will date so viewers don't get sad and he said oh and then they will go back being friends so he don't spoil the series if someday faking it get a revival. So he basically said karmy will happen and will not happen. But by saying karmy will happen we all know that karma was really loved amy romantically all along.
Oh wow, a Faking It ask, I haven't gotten one of those in forever, le sigh :( Thank you for appreciating my dumb recaps! I wouldn't necessarily say that Karma loved Amy 'more', not the word I would use, but I would say Karma never really had too many friends outside of Amy, or, however many she had, they never filled that space in her heart the same way. So the moment Amy branched out and started doing things on her own (leaving for the summer, photography), she felt left out so she lashed out. I think whenever Karma felt confused about Amy, she overcompensated and projected everything onto the first dude she saw lmfao.
I've been saying it forever, the only way Karmy would work was if they both let their guard down and admitted how important they are to each other and talked about their fear of losing each other openly. I've always wanted a serious convo on that.
Also I must disagree with your optimistic view on Carter. He has been misleading the Karmy fans for years and used us to keep getting the show renewed. I don't believe he ever had any intention of having them get together AND last. Unfortunately, he would have sent the most stupid message across - that love and friendship can't coexist. He even said they would have realized they lost what made them 'them' in some interview, which is utter bullshit.
If someone gave me the writing rights for the show, let's just say I would have found a way to do it realistically. I honestly think, and I will keep saying this, they needed more WLW consultants on the show. Even if Carter himself is gay, female dynamics have a level of nuance I don't think he was ever able to convey properly. It's precisely why Karma's POV was never shown right, to the point where other people filled in the blanks just to make her out into a 'heartless bitch' or 'twodimensional character' (both far from the truth).
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Sunday April 7
hehe hi,
I recently rewatched Mtvs Awkward and remembered how much I loved having a little blog when I was 13. I got lonely tonight and had so many thoughts and I was distraught when I have no one to throw my thoughts at. So here I am typing to the void of the internet. This little blog is just gonna be a collection of thoughts classic diary style! I just wanna be able to post little entries of the different thoughts. I know it must be somewhat of a common experience for us ex Tumblr girlies that miss that random connection with people you don't know that have the same interest as you. I also just have so many fun sexy stories to tell and no one to tell them too.
lets dive in
starting with music
I am listening to The Last Dinner Party and I just am feeling the energy I felt when I watched YellowJackets. Is this a shared experience??? dying to know.I just listened to the Prelude to Ecstasy I really enjoyed it and will have more thoughts once I give it a second listen through. I yearn to have friends who watch and listen to the exact things I listen to. I want to be able to discuss these things! -- Chappell Roan is my everything and I just can not stop listening to her. I adore what she has to offer to the world of pop.-- I just now realized how much Luke Bryan I listened to in my first country phase. Like DAmn this man had a lot of bangers on the Crash My Party Album.
Lets talk tv bitches
the invincible season final had me gagged. I couldn't speak and that is rare for me. I am a chatter box but I did not have words! wow! from what I have been reading on twitter I should read the comic for all the extra context and action. I am very excited for the next season and hope it comes at least in the next year.
The Real shit
Fuck y'all. I finally got out of the two month long hookup drought. y'all I am baffled by the audacity of men. I am aware its not too surprising but god damnit!!!!!!!! This was supposed to be my redemption arc but I am very discouraged. Over the weekend I had two suitors (both from the dating apps) boy #1 had the stamina of a fucking horse on steroids. that being said there was no foreplay! but I was touch starved that I didn't give a fuck! lmao. so we go FOUR rounds. He gets off every time and I got off slightly once.The whole experience was just not uncomfortable in a non consent way but in a way it was just not my cup of tea. I am down to try everything once and this showed me I don't love or hate my toes being sucked on. wtf! I am a socks during sex type of girly and it kinda through me off guard but it wasn't the craziest part of this experience. This man fully used his jizz as a massage oil on my back and I was so taken a back! he asked me "has anyone ever done that before" my befuddled self just said No?!?! lmao! its so silly I wasn't that grossed out by it I was planning on taking a shower after he left but like what? I'm not gonna yuck someones yum but I didn't know that was a thing???? Okay boy #2 we have been talking on the snapchat for a while and went for drinks awhile back. The talks over snap have gotten spicy a couple times and we were both pretty excited to get together in person. I was excited because this man talked up his game in a very believable and respectable way. It was SO awkward and I know I am a silly person but usually I can keep a conversation going. That was not the case. So at a very random point in conversation he kisses me and It was just not good and that's a terrible start! like whaaaaaat where are your lips! You are just giving me your tongue and do not get me wrong I love a good French kiss but let me feel your lips first! so things start and I end up getting this man off two times in 15 minutes at the most. the entire experience from kissing to his double completion was 25 minutes. Which would be fine if he would of taken the time to get me off like he said he would in these past two weeks of snapchat. He is now distant and I have a feeling its because he knows he didn't provide anything exciting for me. Dating is so damn hard. The thing is I don't even want a boyfriend. I could be a perfect FWB for some very lucky attractive sex god but I can't find him!! I stupidly thought moving to the big apple would provide a better pond but damn its just not going well. That being said I'm gonna keep on trying for the plot because although its bad sex its funny stories. one day I will find a sexy person to have fun casual sex with on a regular basis. that's not too much too ask for! this is getting messy lmao its late I'm wine tipsy. haha goodnight whores xox
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Day 14
33 days since our current struggle. I am a little ashamed to admit but yes, I actually feel a bit anxious and worried. What used to be a fun-filled trip to the supermarket became a somehow stressful errand today. Waking up from a bad dream didn't help. The enemy found its new weapon. I always say that I'm fine with anything and everything as long as I have JA. But I was shown a version of him that was miserable and deeply unhappy. That's not something I can take quietly. How can I? I'm more than willing to leave if it will make his life easier, knowing how difficult and needy I am. I realized I didn't want to see him the same way I am right now. I know now how hard it must be for him.
That dream was too effective and I'm not proud of that Lord. I need your strength today. JA is still the biggest blessing you've given me and seeing him that way, even in a dream was too much to bear.
However, I don't want to get stuck here. I know that you are working behind the scenes in our favor. I know that my fears are just weapons used by the enemy to sway my faith in you. I won't be swayed.
The way I'm feeling right now is simply a testament to how much I've learned to love, bravely if I may add, considering what I've went through and what I initially thought I was incapable of. I shouldn't be ashamed of that, right? I won't consider this as a weakness.
Addressing the other problem. I'm still claiming Hearsay this week. I still believe because I know that is what you've promised. Deep in my heart, I understood it so I will hold on to that promise even when my mind seems to find reasons to doubt.
I believe in you Lord. You've gotten us through so many trials already. In retrospect, the problem at hand is not even the biggest struggle we've faced together. I have no reason to doubt. We've been through this with you last year as well, didn't we? And you powered through and made things happen when we least expected it. You showed us that anything is possible with you, especially things that doesn't seem possible for us. How can I doubt you now? You've already done it once, surely you can do it again. I am aware that my fear lies in having bigger financial responsibilities now compared to the last time. But I know that the condo, although it was a huge risk is also a part of your plan. I asked for stability before all these happened, I believe that everything that would stay and come our way has a part to play in that. I believe in you Lord. I can't see the bigger picture and I have no idea about the entirety of the plan so I will leave all my worries and anxiety about the future with you. You that is all-knowing, merciful and full of grace. I have very little control in my life, over what has been and what will be so I entrust everything to you Lord.
Please grant me the strength to remain in your light oh Lord, to not be overcome by the influence of the enemy. To trust you fully, with all my heart, recognizing the limitations of my mortality. Please be present in our daily lives oh Lord, help us continue to nurture love in this house, along with peace, respect and kindness. Help us nurture the gift you have given us. Help us in our journey to becoming the people you have planned for us to be.
Thank you so much Lord for your glory, for being a merciful and generous God. We will praise you as long as our lives will allow. We feel deeply indebted to you Lord, for all the richness you have entrusted to us. For the amazing plans you made possible. We praise you Lord. We love you deeply and truly.
Amen
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Japan Trip 2023 - Day 2 (Tashirojima) Part 2
Serenity is sitting on top of a stone looking absolutely stoned and not caring about the world at large.
Day 2 Part 1 Link
There were a mother and daughter back at Shima no Eki that weren't there before, and I had actually heard them not long after getting off the ferry. An obvious gaijin (foreigner) woman was also there with a Japanese woman, and the mother asked the woman about them both. It turned out that the woman had just made friends with the gaijin, and informed the mother the other woman was on a solo trip. So am I, I thought, but I didn't say anything. The mother then went on to say "すごい" because of course, what else would she say?
I do think the mother was so stereotypical in the way she spoke, completely like any Japanese obaasan you would expect of her age. Her daughter couldn't have been more than 15 or so too, so she must be quite a number of years older than me. It was interesting to hear her speak and say things to the cats, so to speak. Nothing out of the ordinary, it was just refreshing for me to hear her style of talking in person.
I left after a while of enjoying the kitties and the antics they were up to with the few others at the cafe in order to ensure I would make the last boat at Nitoda at 1:55 PM. Most of us who had gotten on the first boat were also there at the same port. Though we could have got on it at Odomari at 2+, it would be a little silly as Odomari's area had no cats and everyone was largely here for them. Here's another short video of the view from Nitoda Port, and here's one of See Cat arriving for its last departure from Nitoda Port for the day.
The seas were much rougher on the way back, but this time I was in the warmer lower deck where there were better seats, and the waves splashed against the windows instead. The rocking didn't bother me as much, though I did doze off and then get woken up by it at some point.
When we arrived back at our initial ferry terminal, everyone rushed off the boat for the next train back at Ishinomaki Station, which I already checked before we arrived and found out it would be leaving in some 16 minutes at the time of our arrival. I was like, "What's the rush? We'd definitely make it." Still, I did quicken my pace just in case. We all made the train with much time to spare, and the ride back was uneventful. I dozed off again on the ride back.
Upon arrival I once again had to head to the JR office to book my tickets for tomorrow back to Tokyo Station, and also past Tokyo Station to Mishima Station for my next part of the trip. The queue, as always, remained long, and this should be something tourists should keep in mind. There's a way to book them online but I never tried it, and it's unknown just how convenient that is or if it even works properly compared to queuing up and reserving tickets. I'm sure if you have oversized baggage that can't fit in the upper racks, going straight to queue up for help at the counter would be a lot more helpful.
I went looking for dinner after that, and it was still early so I could finally decide to eat at one of the few places that were in the restaurant section of Sendai Station. I realized that every major station in Japan had these a bit later on.
I stopped in at Grill Minoru, and wanted to order gyutan (beef's tongue) as a side since it was Sendai's specialty, but alas, they were sold out. The gyutan alley selling that specialty had way too many people so I was quite turned off from eating there. I went for the next best thing on Grill Minoru's menu, a hamburg steak set, as shown above, and after eating the hamburg I can now see why this is so highly regarded as a great dish. The meat was so tender and lovely. The fried stuff are oysters, and I believe everything cost me a bit under ¥2000, and this also marked the first time I paid for everything in coins exactly in Japan as the coins were piling up by this time.
As is the custom while I was there, I went to 7-11 for some pudding and got a cold milk tea from the hotel's vending machine for supper. I had a shower around 6+ but waited till 8+ before I went for the public bath. Unfortunately two others were already in there, and I had no choice but to demonstrate the pathetic lack of bath etiquette I had. I hope I didn't offend them. It was harder to soak this time round with eyes watching, but the bath definitely still felt good. I was definitely looking forward to the private bath time I would have tomorrow at a planned stay in Yugashima Tatsuta.
And that's the second day, stay tuned for the third! It will likely be split up into two posts again, thanks to Tumblr's 30-images/links limitation.
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