#i need more teachers like the english 12 teacher and accounting teacher from my high school. those guys were peak

[indecisive-v]

i've heard many a crazy college story that made me think college would be at least a little fun, enough to ensure i still care and my brain isn't drifting off into outer space, but i'm nearing the end of my first semester and rereading a list of quotes from my senior year of high school and it's making me realize that year may have raised the bar a little too high

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

okay so. last night i scrolled past some random podcast video ad on my fb feed, where two women were talking about “i want to teach my kids to have a healthy relationship with money”; which of course is a great thing. but then one of them went on with the classic, tired tangent you see online about “oh so we learnt pythagoras’s theorem, but NOTHING about high interest bearing accounts and home loans etc at ALL in school!!! how dare they teach us about Pythagoras but absolutely NOTHING about life skills like saving for a home!!!???”

like effie or whatever your name is. we did learn about basic interest in school, specifically in year 9 & 10 maths and probs in senior general maths too- even though i dropped maths for years 11 & 12. we did learn about how to calculate double time & half pay in maths. we did learn about saving money and budgeting in maths. but lo and behold, you were 15. and so, like many 15 year olds (very esp myself back in 2010 for example) you ignored this stuff and didnt think that it was important. like what teenager goes to apply for a car loan with a low interest variable rate of 7.5%??? not one. what 15yo actually cares about interest and how to calculate it???? not many. but maths teachers, to the best of their ability, do try to teach these things to the stubborn kids who don’t want to listen or even do the work. but it’s because they’re abstract concepts, in many ways, to kids. they defs were to me. i didn’t want to know anything about them (or mind you i didn’t want to know anything maths based bc to quote 15yo me i “loathe, despise and detest maths. so therefore i don’t have to try at it!”). and i think many teenagers who struggle with maths think like that.

but then we latch onto the obvs memorable names like pythagoras or fibonacci or just the all-encompassing term of algebra, and totally dismiss it, when we’re older, as pointless. like yes. don’t get me wrong. algebra, even without my distinct lack of trying at it, did send me into deep confusion and to *sleep acting* sleep. but for fucks sake, you can’t expect teachers and the school curriculum to cram EVERYTHING into a school day like life management skills.

i think this is one reason why teachers are so burnt out. because people like this (and generally the internet at large now) keep spitting out these stupid as fuck lines about “WE DONT NEED ALGEBRA AND PYTHAGORAS!! we need life skills classes!!! why don’t schools and teachers totally disrupt core maths skills learning and teach life skills like how high interest accounts work?!” like no. that’s a parent’s job. or even an extension project for more engaged kids thing. or even, if a kid is interested in this stuff, they’ll research it themselves. high schools don’t need to jam “life skills” into their curriculum. especially when globally, it seems, teachers are burnt the fuck out bc of low pay, bad behaviour from both kids & parents and already overloaded class planning and admin etc etc etc that goes with being a teacher.

because although i still see maths as a complete mystery tbh, i can now appreciate that it’s there in school curriculums to try to teach logic and order and systems… in a way much different to english and other artsy subjects like drama and history, that i was good at, do. but this is always ignored, bc the underlying logic of maths is also devalued as being “unnecessary and impractical” all bc no one particularly enjoys or likes algebra…. and just also conveniently forgets that you are taught money skills in maths; albeit if it is annoying…. because why the hell would you buy 70 pineapples and then split the dividends of selling those 70 pineapples amongst you and 3 of your friends??? did you buy them with a 10% discount??? what is the profit and loss of those 70 pineapples??? how do you budget and save up to buy 70 pineapples???? who knows. no one knows. except if you show your working and reasoning- which no one (and not definitely not me both now at 27 and back then) wants to do at 15 years old- let alone at 30 or 40 or whatever other age.

just yeah. i am so sick and tired of people whinging and bitching about the “we should replace pythagoras with life skills in maths!! teach me about high interest bearing accounts and how to apply for a home loan when im 15!!” when teachers are already over-burdened enough already… and if you’d just bother to find your old year 9 maths textbook from whatever year, you’d find that you did learn basic money management skills, then and there. but it went over your head, like it should have when you were 15. and like. applying for a home loan is almost null and void at this point, with how real estate and interest rates are globally (or domestically here in aus) rn. shut the fuck up and let kids be kids, vicki. and let teachers be teachers, when they’ve already got enough on their plates as is, vicki.

and also. the above doesn’t really factor in how kids would feel about so-called “life skills” classes being forced into their already jam-packed class schedules. maybe some kids would thrive in a class that gives them assessments on how to set up a bank loan for anything- a house, a car, a boat idek. or do a report how insurance premiums are set up. or what the process is for working out your superannuation (here in australia) accounts and paying your taxes.

but on the other hand, i think many kids (like 15yo me for example) would resent and hate to have another class that’s scheduled between maths and geography- or maybe gives them an extra period at school some days (eg like the catholic school i was at from years 7 to 10 did on fridays until i was halfway through year 7, i think, in 2008). no kid wants a 7 period friday. no kid wants to have a mandatory life skills class on a friday afternoon about how to file taxes and how to apply for a bank loan. when they’re already up to their eyeballs in english, history, geography, PE, religion (since i was at a religious school) and whatever other subjects they’ve got in junior years assessments and/or exams. 

and if it’s in senior years: how would it be assessed??? would they try to stuff it into a year 12 end of year exam and cause kids to have mental breakdowns all because they can’t remember the difference between CTP car insurance and regular car insurance in a HSC exam in new south wales?? or remember the correct definition of variable rate home loan??? like if i had to sit through that as a COMPULSORY exam at the end of year 12 back in 2013 i would’ve had even more of a mental breakdown than i already had back then. and it would’ve sent me into a further panic attack mode around my ATAR (uni entrance mark).

just. i think all these comments people always throw around about “they need life skills classes in schools so you learn about home loans and taxes and wages and everything Adulting™️ at school… which is FAR MORE important than pythagoras in maths or shakespeare in english and/or drama class” is really not factoring in both the capacity of teacher workloads and also kids workloads at school when EVERYTHING has to be assessed, examined AND reported on these days. it would be a nightmare.

[my-efl-blog]

What Does a TESOL Professional Do, Anyway?

So, like, what do I even do? What is the field of TESOL, anyway? Why are there 7000 acronyms and fields of study that are all basically the same thing? What are my plans for the future?

TESOL is Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages. We teach English to Speakers of Other Languages. If we’re EFL teachers, we do that in a country where English is a “foreign language”.

That’s it that’s the post.

No but really, we do all sorts of things!

WHERE ARE YOU TEACHING?

There are many contexts around the world where people teach English. The first big category division is the EFL/ESL divide.

EFL is English as a foreign language. Think back to high school. You probably had two language classes – one in the local language, focusing on communication arts, literature, poetry, and other important parts of writing in your country, and the other in a language that people in your country don’t usually speak. That second class was your foreign language class. (I know that some countries that are multilingual have second language classes that are in official languages, like South Africans who learn Afrikaans or Zulu as a second language, or Canadians who study French. But in most other countries, students learn literature in their local language and communication in a foreign language.) EFL is when your foreign language class is for learning English. For many students, their only access to English is in that class, and then they leave and live their lives in their local language. They have less exposure to comprehensible input (cf Krashen), but they also do not risk their safety if they don’t learn English as fast as possible.

ESL is English as a Second Language. This is English for people who are in an English-speaking country but do not speak the language. They get a ton of exposure to English outside of the classroom, but they need to learn survival skills as quickly as possible in order to do basic things like secure housing, open a bank account, or study content areas in school. ESL has much more immediate impact on students’ lives, but it’s also much more high stakes. The EAP that I currently teach in, in a public university in the US, is an ESL setting.

The other part of the “Where” question refers to the kind of classes you’re teaching. Are you teaching in a school (in the US, we refer to school-age children as attending K-12 schools)? A university? A language center? A community center? Online? All of these are common places to teach TESOL classes.

Which leads us to the next question:

WHO ARE YOU TEACHING?

There are two main ways we refer to our students – by their age, and by their proficiency level.

Age: Some teachers teach very young learners, which is usually defined as ages 2-7. They are often not yet full proficient in their home language, and some people consider learners like this to be simultaneous bilinguals with two L1s, depending on the amount of input they get during those years. Young learners are ages 7 to 11 – they are proficient in their L1s but often lack the cognitive reasoning skills of older learners. Both of these groups are really fun to teach, but they can be exhausting for long stretches of time. The next age level is teens – around 12-18, or whatever age students usually finish high school. This is my absolute favorite level to teach. They are increasingly gaining critical thinking skills, they are often defiant and boundary-testing, and they need to be convinced that what’s happening in the classroom is useful or interesting. I love the willfulness that teens often display, and I enjoy guiding them to hone those critical thinking skills by giving them productive ways to question the world around them and allowing them a voice in classroom management. Next is adults – these can be anywhere from new university students to adult professionals. They are usually focused and driven, because they are exercising their autonomy by choosing to be in the class. They have specific goals, and they usually recognize the value of learning English for their future. Finally, there are older adults. Older adults may have a harder time with language recall or productive language skills, but they have a lot of life experiences that they can use to scaffold their language learning.

Proficiency level: this refers to how “fluent” a student is in a language.  Beginners may know only a few words in English, while advanced students may have already obtained a degree in their target language. New teachers are often given high beginner or intermediate students to work with – they still have a lot of skills, grammar, and vocabulary to learn; they can communicate their needs and ideas with the teacher; and they usually haven’t started learning grammar points beyond the new teacher’s understanding of English. If you’re lucky, this will be the first kind of student you’re given – although, with the number of teachers in TESOL compared to the demand at the moment, it’s just as likely you’ll be thrown into the deep end. You will survive! I believe in you! Good luck!

WHAT JOB DO YOU (EVENTUALLY) WANT?

Some people want to be classroom teachers forever. They thrive in the teaching environment, they get joy from every personal interaction with their students, and they want to see the fruits of their labor immediately in front of them. For these teachers, advancement looks like becoming a trusted mentor to new teachers or leading a Community of Practice in their local area. These TESOL professionals still need to keep up with new advancements in SLA and Applied Linguistics research, and they can always take time to present at conferences or publish Action Research papers, but their heart is in their classroom with their students.

Some TESOL professionals go into curriculum or academic development. These professionals design the materials that other teachers use in their lessons, either offering them online or writing and designing for textbook publishing companies like National Geographic Learning, Oxford University Press, Macmillan Education, etc. etc. etc.

Some TESOL professionals work in community outreach, leading adult education programs in their communities and being a resource for newcomers and their families.

Some go into administration, as immigration specialists or ELL advocates for schools or school systems, or as program administrators for IEPs, EAPs, etc.

In the US, some TESOL professionals go on to work for the government, either coordinating state MLL programs or teaching abroad with the State Department.

Some TESOL professionals pursue careers in academia, researching and publishing in the fields of SLA, Applied Linguistics, or TESOL.

Many TESOL professionals become teacher trainers, either in certificate or university programs. They may run courses, teach in an MA or PhD program, or run workshops for content teachers about how to support ELLs in contexts with fewer ESL resources.

As you can see, there are many jobs available to TESOL professionals. Although many (many, MANY) people in my life have suggested I go into academia or curriculum development, for now my plan is to continue being a classroom teacher.

WHAT CAN I DO TO GET THERE?

Continue your education. If you have a TESOL Certificate, look for MA-TESOL programs that fit your context and schedule. If you have an MA-TESOL, look into PhD or EdD programs, or specialized certificates like a CELTA, DELTA, or Teacher Training course.

Share your knowledge. Join CoPs or SIGs in your local community, school system, or professional organizations. Conduct classroom research and share your findings at conferences or in academic journals. Publish your classroom materials online so that other TESOL teachers can benefit from your time and effort. Find like-minded teachers in your program in order to pursue reflective practices together.

Look for the requirements for your specific job path. If you want to be a teacher trainer in Central Asia, look at the job postings for that job in that field and make sure you either already have or have a plan to obtain the requirements. Do they require more than five years of experience and a master’s degree, when you only have three years of experience and a certificate? Now you have two years to continue teaching, and a plan to get a master’s degree.

Be open to new opportunities and adventures. This is a special field where a large amount of the work happens in exciting, interesting locations that most of the world will never visit, let alone live in for extended periods of time. Keep an ear open for colleagues mentioning a teaching opportunity in a new country. Make yourself available to move to a new city to help set up a new branch of your company. Take advantage of recruitment drives across the world. Look at job postings for countries you’ve never considered visiting. These won’t derail your life plans, they’ll make you a more well-rounded teacher with more diverse experiences to share with your future colleagues.

Keep track of where you’ve been. This is my biggest weakness, I’m not going to lie. I’ve done a lot of interesting things in my time as an EFL-ESL teacher. I’ve taught in an orphanage in Cambodia. I’ve taught for the US State department in Vietnam. I’ve taught summer school. I’ve taught IELTS test-prep courses. I’ve taught study-abroad courses in the US. I’ve taught in a few different community programs. I’ve attended many conferences and workshops. Is this reflected in my resume? Usually not until I need to update it every few years. So write down all of the opportunities you’ve taken advantage of, all of the professional development you’ve worked on, all of the goals you've accomplished. At the very least, it’s a good way to remember all of the fun things you’ve done in your years as a TESOL professional.

My 5-Year Plan (as of right now)

(I am writing this because it was a requirement for my course. I am not a person who deals in long-term plans or goals. I think they put blinders on a person and cause them to miss out on opportunities because of their inherent specificity in attempting to predict the future. As such, my plan is malleable and designed to allow for future opportunities. I also don’t personally believe in “achievement” as an end-goal or imposing narrative structure on the inherent chaos that is lived experience.)

Year 1: 2024

Finish my MA in SLA-TESOL

Present at at least one conference (probably my local TESOL affiliate conference in the fall)

Attempt to publish (on Academic Written English; Enregisterment; Critical Reflection; Investment; Corpus Linguistics; or another topic I’m interested in and knowledgeable about)

Expand my teaching experience (teach at least one writing course after taking Composition Theory in the spring; teach in one of the many small programs my university is hosting this spring and summer)

Year 2: 2025

Learn a new teaching context

I will be moving to China to teach after I finish my MA-TESOL

I want to join a Community of Practice in my new EFL context to understand the students, the teaching ideology, and the common problems and solutions

I will continue to read journals such as Second Language Writing, TESOL Quarterly, and World Englishes, paying special attention to publications about my new teaching context

I will seek out PD opportunities to help me acclimate to the new teaching context

Year 3: 2026

Work on Lesson Planning and Reflective Practice

These are my two biggest weaknesses in teaching, and after a year of adjusting to a new context I believe this is the perfect time to really focus on improving them (though hopefully two years from now the gap between where I am and where I want to be will have narrowed?)

Find PD opportunities that focus specifically on lesson planning, syllabus design, and matching course objectives to appropriate communicative tasks (possibly publish on this topic?)

Develop a reflective practice habit that is appropriate for my teaching style and context. Gather data on my teaching outcomes before and after in order to evaluate if the practice is worthwhile (possibly publish on this topic?)

Year 4: 2027

Write a Personal Needs Assessment, Reevaluate, Reflect

After 10 years in TESOL in a variety of different contexts, I can imagine many possible futures (Norton, 2015; Dornyei, 2009) for myself in the field of TESOL. Hopefully at this point, the future I want will be clearer

Decide if I want to stay in Asia or move to a new part of the world to diversify my experiences and learn a new language

Decide if I still want to be a classroom teacher or if I want to return to academia, become a teacher trainer, or pivot into curriculum design

Reflect on my teaching practices and pinpoint any new or lingering weaknesses to target in the future

Continue to stay abreast of topics in TESOL by reading academic journals and attending conferences.

Year 5: 2028

Begin My Next Adventure

After imagining a new ideal future self (Dornyei, 2009) and deciding on the appropriate path to implement that goal, I will take the necessary steps to achieve that goal

If this involves moving to a new place, I will make concrete plans, including setting up interviews and booking plane tickets, instead of just talking about it and assuming it will magically happen, Jay

If this involves moving into a new position in my current place of employment, I will catalogue my accomplishments thus far and present a plan of action to my superiors. I will make this intent known to my superiors instead of silently waiting for it to happen without action on my part, Jay

I will continue to stay abreast of topics in TESOL by reading academic journals and attending conferences.

I will consider publishing a book about my now-over-ten years of experience in TESOL

Any questions? My Askbox is always open! <3

[steve-rogers-ruined-men-for-me]

Teach Me

Summary: Bucky’s worried about you overworking yourself at your teaching job. 

Warnings: some swearing, cute couple shit

Words: 2014k

A/N: this is my first full fic! I’ve really missed writing just for fun and I have a few more fic ideas and hc ideas in the works! please please please comment and let me know what you think! 

No matter what, you always came to bed when Bucky did. Sometimes you stayed up on your phone or reading but you always at least sat on the bed with him. He knew that you had a big week coming up, with your principal coming to observe you, midterms drawing closer, and your students struggling with the new curriculum the district was imposing. 

You were a high school English teacher and Bucky had met you when your school had put on an assembly about the history of the Avengers. He had noticed you in the back of the auditorium, wearing a soft blue dress and encouraging your students to ask him questions about his prosthetic. He shyly asked Tony to see if he could contact the school later and get your number. He had rolled his eyes at him and had walked up to you and asked in plain English, “The Manchurian Candidate over there wants to take you to dinner. If I set up the reservation and promise to make him show up, will you go?” Your jaw had dropped and you had numbly agreed. James Buchanan Barnes wanted to go on a date with you? Despite your doubts regarding the reality of the situation, you showed up outside the quiet Italian restaurant and the rest was history.

Bucky smiled at the memory of you dressed in a red silk jumpsuit with your hair braided back. You looked like a modern version of the girls he flirted with during the forties. Only, back then, he had been wondering how to get up their skirts but now he was more concerned with taking his time getting the jumpsuit off your gorgeous body. He felt a twitch between his legs and, smirking, shook the feeling off. He padded down to the kitchen, thinking you had gotten hungry. When that search yielded no you, he wandered through the rest of the downstairs. He noted that your car hadn’t left the driveway and checked the calendar on the fridge to see if he had the opening shift at the mechanic’s tomorrow (he mercifully did not). But he took note of how small your writing was on your to-do list for Monday. 

Feeling a pang in his chest, he remembered how he had begged you to let him have your full attention on Friday and Saturday.  While you’d reveled in your domestic bliss, by noon on Sunday, you had been buried in your office with your laptop, surrounded by books, papers, and highlighters. Smiling to himself, he realized where you were. He headed up to the attic loft, converted into your office. The walls were a soft gray and the couch the two of you had bought for your tiny first apartment was squeezed against one wall. 

Bucky’s heart tightened as he saw you sprawled on the couch, wrapped in one of his massive flannels. Your desk light was on and the desk was messier than he’d ever seen it. Your blinking phone alerted him to the fact that you’d set an alarm for midnight, but had been so tired you’d slept through it, a given considering you were working yourself to the bone and it was two a.m. Afraid to ruin your organizational system on your desk, he returned the pens and highlighters to the little decorative cups you kept them in, saved every file you had open on your laptop before closing it, and pushed the papers in imminent danger of falling onto the floor farther back on the desk. 

Content that he had lessened the burden of cleaning you’d have to do tomorrow, he crouched next to the couch. Gently smoothing a stray hair out of your face, he whispered, “baby...come on, get up, let’s go to bed.” You opened your eyes slowly and then jerked upright, sending your phone flying and Bucky scrambling backwards. 

“What time is it!” you cried, frantic. You ran towards your desk, frantically pinging your phone from your Apple Watch. Your clock on your desk blinked back 2:05 a.m. at you. Bucky picked up your incessantly beeping phone and handed it to you as you slumped in your desk chair, head in your hands. 

“I just wanted to get this stupid assessment plan done,” you whispered. You hugged his flannel tight around you as tears started to fall. Bucky turned your swivel chair so you were facing him as he knelt in between your legs. You dropped your upper body and rested your forehead on his shoulder as you sobbed. The weight of turning in grades, making assignments, checking in with your students to make sure they were doing okay, it was weighing on you. Bucky had noticed you sleeping less and drinking more coffee but hadn’t truly realized the toll it was taking on you. Kicking himself for making you spend time with him instead of alleviating your burdens at work, he pulled you out of the chair to sit between his legs, curling you into him and rocking gently. After a few minutes, you tilted your chin up and scooched back. Sitting criss cross between his legs, you cupped your chin and closed your eyes.

“I don’t know what to do, Buck,” you said sadly. You tugged on a loose button on your sleeve, looking like a lost puppy. Bucky knew how much you adored teaching and how much you loved your students. You were always baking treats for them when they did well on exams, buying bagels so that they could eat breakfast, and extending deadlines for the kids who worked. He knew that the American school system had changed since the 1940s and when you had shown him what you had to teach in a week and just how much time and energy went into lesson planning, he almost formed his own teachers union to advocate for you. 

When he found out your dismal salary, he had to take a walk. He spent an hour with Tony railing against your pay and the administrators who punished you for the test scores of students that you had no control over. Tony sat him down after an hour of not being able to get a word in edgewise and finally pledged to harass the local school boards (and the Board of Education if they would call him back) about raising teacher salaries. Bucky had walked home to you pouring over birthday cards your sixth period juniors had given you because they’d gotten a tip that it was your birthday. (Peter helped Bucky hack your Google Classroom). He felt a wave of pride come over him as he looked at you, his selfless girl, thrilled that she was having an impact on the kids she loved the most. You getting so down on yourself broke his heart. 

“What’s wrong with your assessment plan?” he asked, intertwining your hands with his. You looked up angrily. “What ISN’T wrong with it is a better question!” you cried. “The district made the test up and it’s on a fucking scantron because what fucking isn’t these days and it’s not taking into account the fact that school is not the main focus for so many of these kids that have to fucking work and help support their siblings and all they are is numbers on a fucking piece of paper that tells you nothing about the effectiveness of my teaching or the district’s ability to educate them as a whole!” Bucky blinked rapidly as you huffed. You didn’t get angry very often, but when you did and you started to monologue, he understood why you received a distinction with your English degree. 

“Baby,” he started gently, “can I ask you something you may not like?” He knew that you were a planner and that the odds were you were beating yourself up about a task that had taken your coworkers thirty minutes to do. You always wanted to do right by your kids but if you didn’t start sleeping and taking care of yourself, you were useless to everyone, including yourself. You looked up at Bucky through teary eyes.

“Are you going to ask me if the plan’s done and I’m just being picky?” you asked in a small voice. Bucky stood up, taking you with him. He pressed your frame against him, putting your arms over his shoulders and resting his hands on your waist. He stayed to sway slightly, trying to lull you back to sleep and to try to help quiet your mind. “I wouldn’t say picky I just...look. I’m being selfish. I want you to come to bed with me. I want you to play with my hair and whisper that you love me when you think I’m out cold asleep,” he gushed, noting the slight blush that crept up your cheeks. “You are incredible. Your admin are literally fucking stupid, doll. Nothing you do will change that. You are trying your best and if you think that your kids won’t benefit from the 12 different plans you’ve cooked up, then you’re crazy. Your kids don’t need a version 13, baby. They need you whole, in one piece, and ready to fight for them if they need.” He kissed your forehead, trying to ease your creased brow. Giving in to his ministrations, you sighed. You thought about how this plan should’ve probably only taken an hour. But then you rewrote the plan for the week based off of if your kids took a lot of time on the test, a little time, got anxious during it, caught on fire during it, committed larceny during the test and you had to contact the police. You knew it was overkill but you also knew that budget cuts were coming, contracts were up at the end of this year, and you and Bucky were saving to buy a house instead of living in a condo forever. 

“Buck?” you whispered. He lifted his chin off your head and looked down.

“Yeah, doll?” 

You felt the exhaustion settle into you all at once. “Can we go to bed?” 

Picking you up and putting you in a fireman’s carry, Bucky held you the whole way down to your bedroom. He pulled out a shirt of his for you to sleep in while you brushed your teeth and rinsed off in the shower. He walked in right as you were towelling off and he slipped it over your head with ease. He offered to blow dry your hair but you declined, favoring slipping into a warm sleep with him. He cuddled you close, forgoing asking you to play with his hair in favor of trying to hug all the pride he felt about you into your body via osmosis. Your head was resting soft on his chest, one arm curled protectively around his torso. His metal arm was tucked up and around your shoulders, keeping you comfortable. His flesh hand caressed your arm around him to remind you that he would always be there for you. He loved you more than anything. As your breathing evened and his hand on your side rose in gentle time with your breath, he decided that he was going to call Tony tomorrow. He knew a few people who owed him from his time as the Winter Soldier and if they didn’t want their dirty laundry exposed, dammit he was going to make someone in the district fix the stupid test until it worked how you wanted it to work. He hugged you closer to him, giving you one final squeeze before he started drifting off to sleep. He slipped into a dream where he was a professor and you a naughty schoolgirl and he had just convinced you to bend over to pick something up behind his desk when...a loud snore from you jolted him back to the reality of his exhausted teacher girlfriend wearing his baggy shirt, with hair going every which way. There was no plaid skirt here. Only love and admiration. Bucky kissed your temple and willed sleep to come again. 

[snowdice]

Masterpost (Old)

This is an old, slightly broken Masterpost, but I might not remember to change all the links. The new one is here.

If you would just like to see all of my writing, I tag everything with #adriana writes on my blog. Click here for everything in chronological order of my posting. Click here for my AO3 account.

Completed fics are marked complete in their summary. You can click on the universe tags to read fics for that universe in chronological order of my posting.

The Prison You Deserve: (Complete) Virgil should have known better. Trying to help only ever ended badly for him. After a misunderstanding, Virgil gets thrown into the most infamous prison across all of the kingdoms, where the most evil criminals are thrown to get what they deserve at the hands of nightmarish creatures from the void. Luckily (for once) Virgil really didn’t deserve it. Trusting that this isn’t just a cruel trick and he isn’t actually going to be tortured though is going to take a while. (In which Patton is a eldritch horror, telepathic nightmare, and still is the sweetest thing on the planet and off it.)

AO3 Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Bonus Features

Road Trips and Missing Persons:  Patton was just getting groceries. The next thing he knew, there was a knife at his throat and he was an unwilling uber driver. Virgil’s on the run after the murder of his dad, and it’s not just his paranoia that’s telling him he’s being chased down. He has to get somewhere safe, somewhere he can trust, and all he has is a couple of stories from his dad and a name: “Green Bellow Foods and Dispensary.”

AO3 Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11

Mismatched High Heel Shoes: (One-shot: Complete) The boys are having fun. (This was for the #magpie500 event.)

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Cops and Not Robbers AU

You I’ll Come Back For: (Complete) They’d met in a jail cell, you see, but unlike now Patton had not been anywhere near trapped, not that Virgil had been aware of that fact. He’d just seen his sweet little cell mate who’d clearly not done anything to deserve being on that side of the bars. Virgil had said “What did you do to get stuck in this joint?” and Patton had started crying. It had taken zero lies and five hours for Patton to coax out the information he’d needed. He’d thought when he’d pranced up to the bars and told Roman he was ready to leave that the absolutely astonished expression which was quickly slipping into fury would be the last thing he’d ever see of the man whose crimes numbered enough to keep him in prison for the rest of his life. He’d escaped during his transfer to federal prison. (This was a dice fic. It also appears below!)

AO3 Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Mistaken Identities: (One-Shot: Complete) Roman was just walking out of an ice-cream shop when an unfamiliar man’s irate voice made him pause mid lick and look up. “Dammit Remus, I told you to meet me two blocks that way and you’re getting ice cream?” | Now as an identical twin, especially one with a brother who had a… certain personality, he wasn’t exactly unused to this sort of thing happening. So, he promptly opened his mouth to say, “Oh no I’m not…” | “Remus, I don’t care right now,” he interrupted. “Get in the car.” | “But-” | The man snapped his fingers and a hand descended on his shoulder. “Get him in the car.” | Roman meets Deceit and later Logan when he is mistaken for his brother who is apparently doing SOMETHING with his life.

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A Bloody Handkerchief:   (One-Shot: Complete) Dee and Roman help Logan move and Dee finds something from their past.

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Cuffed Universe

Tea, Cookies, and Handcuffs: (Complete) Logan finds a strange man on his property and of course invites him in for tea.

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What Remains Universe

What Remains of Us: (Complete) Virgil was young, but smart. “How are we going to do this?” he asked. “You’re 12. You can’t get a job or a house.” | “Remember when dad used to read us The Boxcar Children?” he asked. “It’ll be like that. Well, not exactly; there aren’t many old train tracks around, but we’ll find something. I even found an old copy of the book in the $.10 bin at the bookstore. The ending’s ripped out, but we’ve got the part where they figure out how to live in the woods. It’ll be like a guide.” | Patton and his little brother Virgil go on a “hiking trip” after the aunt they’d been living with hit Virgil.

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Remains of Memories: (Complete) Patton is about to graduate high school. As his life changes, he figures it’s time to confront some memories with the people he loves.

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Touch Me Gently Universe:

Touch Me Gently: (Complete) He had a total of four soulmarks: not an unheard-of thing, but rather rare. There were purple fingerprints on his wrist, looking like a day-old bruise from where someone had grabbed him too hard. What his mother had seen when he’d entered the kitchen was actually two soulmarks that overlapped slightly: a light blue one that darkened his lips and a yellow handprint that covered the lower parts of his cheek and jaw. The ring finger and the tip of the pinkie hit his lip, mixing with the blue to look like a sickly greenish-yellow bruise. What his dad had seen peaking out of the top of his t-shirt was a dark blue mark in the shape of fingers around his neck. Roman had been overjoyed when he realized what the marks were after the initial confusion. His parents had been a little less enthusiastic. (Roman meets his soulmates one-by-one and it’s not at all what everyone assumed when they first saw his soulmarks.)

AO3 Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Bonus Features

Never a Chance to Hate You: (Complete) Logan picks Dee up for a date early in their relationship. Dee reflects on how his perceptions of his soulmates changed once he met them.

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Is There Anything Left of Patton? (Zombie AU; One-Shot Series)  (Complete)

Logan has a secret in his basement. Three months into living with him, Virgil finds that secret. He almost wishes the secret was a simple as he first thought it was. Almost. AO3 Link

Something Left

Someone You’ll Never Meet

Food You’ll Never Eat

Things You’ll Never Do

There are Things You Have Lost

There Are Things That Are Missing

And There is a Question

Is There Anything Left of Patton?

And There is an Answer

But What Does It Mean?

One More Dance  

One More Chance

When There Is Something Left 

Bonus Features   End Credit Scenes

Dilemmas (One-Shots Series)

“But that doesn’t make any sense!” he yelled.| “Patton,” Remus said evenly.|“It doesn’t!” he screamed turning on him viciously. “There’s a big difference between not being sad someone’s dead and… and… and no! No! I wouldn’t be okay with seeing someone I hated die. I wouldn’t!”| “Yes, you would,” Remus said, standing up himself. He pointed an accusatory finger at him. “You would! And you know you would! Do you think you are the only one who can get a read on another side when functions cross? Those thoughts in your head are my domain and I knew exactly what you were feeling when I asked that question!” Virgil was forcibly summoned immediately, eyes wide. Patton and Remus have a philosophical discussion and then will have to deal with the fall out. (AO3 Link)

Moral Dilemmas

Ethical Reasoning

The Dangers of Stereotypes 

When I Can Say I Love You: (Complete) In a world where their very existences are illegal, let alone their relationship, Patton and Logan share a moment discussing what they wish their world could be.

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The Horror of Stereotypes: (Complete) There had always been a certain stereotype about people like him for as long as anyone could remember. After the Heart War of 1963, those stereotypes had been legalized and places like this had been created to enforce the universal truth: everyone had a soulmate. One soulmate. No more and no less. At least they were supposed to. When Remus’s brother gets arrested because of his two soulmarks, Remus risks everything by infiltrating the facility he legally should be in as well due to his own two soulmates to save him. There he meets Logan and it turns out they have a lot in common: they both got hired this week, they both have two soulmates, and they’re both here for the same reason. Oh. And as it turns out, they’re each other’s soulmates too.

AO3 Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Bonus Features

Labeled Universe (A Superhero AU)

Sometimes Labels Fail: (Complete) Logan was good at labels, at categories. Logan sorted the citizens of his city into 6 different categories in his mind: heroes, villains, vigilantes, criminals, government authorities, and civilians, and knew how to deal with each. But… but what was he supposed to do with him. Virgil was just trying to survive, though he didn’t think the part of him that compelled him to throw himself into fights whenever he saw the superhero Bluebird struggling had gotten the memo. His English teacher was right; he really was stupid. When the villain criminal… when Shadow Caster gets injured while throwing himself into the line of fire for Logan, Logan can’t find it in himself to turn him over to be arrested. Luckily, he knows a doctor very, very well. Virgil is going to get kidnapped adopted by the end of it.

AO3 Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Bonus Features

Sometimes Labels Shift (Post Sometimes Labels Fail Stories)

Here’s a timeline for these fics with some commentary.

Mini Fic Series: One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine Ten Eleven Twelve Thirteen Fourteen Fifteen Sixteen Seventeen Eighteen Nineteen Twenty Twenty-One Twenty-Two Twenty-Three

Two Dinner Plates: (Complete) A muscle ticked in Logan’s jaw and Virgil tried not to flinch. “We seem to be coming from fundamentally different philosophies on how food should be distributed in a family structure.” In which we finally actually talk about Virgil’s thing™ with food. It goes about how one would expect it to.

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Back to School: (Complete) It’s Virgil’s first day back to school after everything and he has some adjustments to make.Aka a blatant excuse to enact the hug Virgil initiative.

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Sticky Note Pandemonium: (Complete) There were also sticky notes on the kitchen counter, the refrigerator, Virgil’s backpack, and even the oven, not to mention every wall. There was even one sticky note stuck on Logan’s butt.His husband had gone on a rampage.

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Arguments and other ‘A’ Words: (Complete) Logan and Virgil have a row. Virgil’s new family has a weird way of fighting.

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The Things We Haven’t Talked About: (Complete) Patton and Logan have noticed some concerning behavior from Virgil in their month with him. Beyond the flinching and haunted look in his eyes courtesy of his last foster father, there’s something else of concern for Patton and Logan and they really aren’t equipped to deal with it. They enlist some help from a couple of friends.

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Wind Symphony: (Complete) Patton and Logan are still trying to figure out how to be parents and are worried about strange behavior coming from their new son as of late. Logan takes measures to figure out what is wrong.

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Coffee and Cinnamon Rolls: (Complete)  Remy meets his best friend/bosses new child and immediately has the must protect at all cost urges.

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Virgil’s Birthday:  (Complete) Virgil has his first birthday with Logan and Patton and he’s going to get everything he ever wanted.

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Punishments: (Complete) Virgil gets into a fight at school. At home, everyone has to deal with their individual hang ups when it comes to punishments.

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Family Game Night: (Complete) The boys have a nice family game night. Patton gets to deal with figuring out how to not let them cheat with their superpowers.

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Family Science Night: (Complete) Dumb science nerd father and his curiosity-killed-the-cat idiot child play with electricity and superpowers.

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We Need to Put a Bell on Virgil: (Complete) Patton and Logan lose Virgil.

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Pumpkins, Corn, and Caffeine: (Complete) Remy steals Virgil to take him to a pumpkin patch. (A Labeled Universe Fic)

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Vengeance is Soft: (Complete) Logan sighed. Patton was a wonderful man: kind, gentle, and empathetic. He listened and took into account other’s perspectives and feelings on every issue and always did his best to make people feel at east. Patton while sick was an absolute monster. | Patton’s friends and family deal with him while he’s sick and here’s the thing about Patton. Patton is a hypocrite.

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First Week Fics: A collection of fics about Virgil's first week with Logan and Patton in the Labeled Universe.

AO3 Part 1 Part 2

The Importance of Practice: (Complete) Virgil attempts to perform a simple light manipulation trick during training. He fails. (?)

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Lessons From a Book: (Complete) Virgil cannot get anywhere in his training. He guesses he finally manged to piss Logan off.

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Divestment of Childhood: (Complete) Now, the thing about Virgil was, he knew how to sneak out of a house in the middle of the night. He was very, very good at it. If sneaking out of places was something one could go to college for, Virgil could easily get a PhD. He knew all of the tricks. He did none of these things.Virgil runs away from home.

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Virgil’s Culinary Abilities: (Complete)  Patton’s running late so Virgil cooks dinner.

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Relabeled; Refiled (Prequels to Sometimes Labels Fail)

Coffee Shop Meet Cute: (Complete) Is this what falling in love felt like or was Patton just about to pass out from exhaustion? Patton and Logan’s first meeting in the Sometimes Labels Fail Universe.

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Coffee Shop Incident Report: (Complete) Patton and Logan’s first meeting in the Sometimes Labels Fail Universe, but what Logan put in his files about it afterwards.

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The Things We Never Mentioned: (Complete)  “Believe it or not, academia and relationships are not mutually exclusive.” That was likely true, Logan knew. It was also not the problem. The problem was his ability to move things with his mind, a blue suit he kept in his bag, and the mountains of red files he kept hidden in his apartment. No one knew that Logan was Bluebird, the cities resident superhero. He hadn’t even told his parents and he wasn’t planning on doing so. Sharing such a secret with anyone was a danger to everyone involved. He refused to do so. At the same time, he knew that starting a romantic relationship with anyone who didn’t know the truth, was unfair to that person. Inevitably they would find out and there would be a disastrous fallout, but beyond that, starting a relationship on a foundation of lies was a horribly cruel thing to do to another person. These two conflicting rules Logan followed had never posed an issue for him before recently, but…But he did like Patton.

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Logan’s 25 Step Plan to Ask a Boy Out: (Complete) “No! Logan look,” she said. “He likes you and you like him. You don’t need a list or a plan or schematics for this. Just walk up to him and ask him out before you hesitate so much that he thinks you don’t like him anymore.” | Logan’s eyes widened. “Is that something that can happen.” | “Oh god, this is hopeless.” | How is Logan so good at, but simultaneously so bad at this?

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Facts on White Chrysanthemums: (Complete) Logicality first kiss in the Labeled Universe.

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Gaps in His Files: (Complete) Logan Berry has learned many things the last 10 years: a lot of math and physics, a bit of humility, and how to be a hero being just a few. Through his education, his experience teaching, and his exploits as the superhero Bluebird, he’s changed in a lot of small and large ways. He has recorded these changes in well-organized documents and files. He’s even had to create two new file designations: a red one for files about his moonlighting at Bluebird, and a light blue one dedicated to his boyfriend, Patton.When Bluebird is targeted by a memory device and all of those 10 years of progress suddenly disappear, Patton Sanders and Logan’s extensive files are left as his only resource to get those memories back. But what is Patton supposed to do when there are clear gaps in his files? And what does he do when he is one of them?

AO3 Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Epilogue

Remy’s Follow Up Questions: (Complete)  Remy sees Patton for the first time after the closet freak out.

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First Anniversary: Logan and Patton go on a trip for their first anniversary.

AO3 Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Board Games: (Complete) “You’re really going to seduce me to win a monopoly game?” he asked.  | “Is it working?” Logan likes to cheat at board games. Especially at Monopoly.

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The Origin Story of a Yapping Mop: (Complete) Virgil was not the first living creature Logan carried in his arms to Patton. This is how they ended up with a dog.

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Illusory Records (Janus’ story (with a lot of Remus))

A Life That is Yours: (Complete) Decades before he was known the well-known and semi-respected vigilante Deceit, Janus makes a choice. He hopes it is good for the both of them.

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Deceit’s Follow Up Questions: (Complete) So what, if his actions could possibly be construed to look like they were in some way related to helping Bluebird. Maybe an outside might think he was in some way angry about what had happened to the superhero, but that wasn’t what was happening. It just… hit a nerve; it wasn’t a big deal. It did not mean he liked the man. It barely meant he respected him. Ugh. When had he started respecting a superhero?

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Illusions of Grandeur… Or Perhaps Just Illusions: Remus is training to be an undercover super-agent, but training is boring. So, being Remus he… finds some “fun” (read trouble) with the city’s resident vigilante.

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Other

Party Time Boredom: (Complete) Emile is bored at a party, but Bluebird suggests he go talk to a boy.

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Roll the Dice Event

1. Buckets of Roses: (Complete) As far as anyone knew, Logan was supposed to be in class right now. Which begs the question of why and how Roman is now in his room with him. (“And now that I have explained why I am currently in my own dorm room, would you care to explain why you are here?” “Not, um, not particularly.”)

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2. Touch Me Gently: (Complete) He had a total of four soulmarks: not an unheard-of thing, but rather rare. There were purple fingerprints on his wrist, looking like a day-old bruise from where someone had grabbed him too hard. What his mother had seen when he’d entered the kitchen was actually two soulmarks that overlapped slightly: a light blue one that darkened his lips and a yellow handprint that covered the lower parts of his cheek and jaw. The ring finger and the tip of the pinkie hit his lip, mixing with the blue to look like a sickly greenish-yellow bruise. What his dad had seen peaking out of the top of his t-shirt was a dark blue mark in the shape of fingers around his neck. Roman had been overjoyed when he realized what the marks were after the initial confusion. His parents had been a little less enthusiastic. (Roman meets his soulmates one-by-one and it’s not at all what everyone assumed when they first saw his soulmarks.)

AO3 Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Bonus Features

3. Markups: (Complete) Roman leered down at him, clearly incredibly pleased with himself. “You,” he said as Logan did his best to swallow down the rest of his laughter, “have been criticizing my work all day. Which is basically like you’ve been criticizing me. So…why don’t I return the favor?” He wiggled the uncapped pen in front of Logan’s nose. “You wouldn’t dare,” Logan said lowly. (Logan and Roman do some editing.)

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4. Moral Dilemmas: (Complete) “But that doesn’t make any sense!” he yelled.| “Patton,” Remus said evenly.|“It doesn’t!” he screamed turning on him viciously. “There’s a big difference between not being sad someone’s dead and… and… and no! No! I wouldn’t be okay with seeing someone I hated die. I wouldn’t!”| “Yes, you would,” Remus said, standing up himself. He pointed an accusatory finger at him. “You would! And you know you would! Do you think you are the only one who can get a read on another side when functions cross? Those thoughts in your head are my domain and I knew exactly what you were feeling when I asked that question!” Virgil was forcibly summoned immediately, eyes wide. Patton and Remus have a philosophical discussion and then will have to deal with the fall out.

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5. You I’ll Come Back For: (Complete) They’d met in a jail cell, you see, but unlike now Patton had not been anywhere near trapped, not that Virgil had been aware of that fact. He’d just seen his sweet little cell mate who’d clearly not done anything to deserve being on that side of the bars. Virgil had said “What did you do to get stuck in this joint?” and Patton had started crying. It had taken zero lies and five hours for Patton to coax out the information he’d needed. He’d thought when he’d pranced up to the bars and told Roman he was ready to leave that the absolutely astonished expression which was quickly slipping into fury would be the last thing he’d ever see of the man whose crimes numbered enough to keep him in prison for the rest of his life. He’d escaped during his transfer to federal prison.

AO3 Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

6. The Horror of Stereotypes: (Complete) There had always been a certain stereotype about people like him for as long as anyone could remember. After the Heart War of 1963, those stereotypes had been legalized and places like this had been created to enforce the universal truth: everyone had a soulmate. One soulmate. No more and no less. At least they were supposed to. When Remus’s brother gets arrested because of his two soulmarks, Remus risks everything by infiltrating the facility he legally should be in as well due to his own two soulmates to save him. There he meets Logan and it turns out they have a lot in common: they both got hired this week, they both have two soulmates, and they’re both here for the same reason. Oh. And as it turns out, they’re each other’s soulmates too.

AO3 Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Bonus Features

7. Remains of Memories: (Complete) Patton is about to graduate high school. As his life changes, he figures it’s time to confront some memories with the people he loves.

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8. Tea, Cookies, and Handcuffs: (Complete) Logan finds a strange man on his property and of course invites him in for tea.

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9. A Mystery in a Mask (but Not Out of It): (Complete) Roman accidentally sleeps with a co-worker, but since his job is being a superhero and they all wear mask, he’s not sure which co-worker. Also Patton got kidnapped.

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10. Pumpkins, Corn, and Caffeine: (Complete) Remy steals Virgil to take him to a pumpkin patch. (A Labeled Universe Fic)

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11. Where Ghosts Live: (Complete) Logan meets three ghosts on the way to his destination. All of them have different things to say.

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12. The Death of Benji (Complete) A crime has been committed in the mindscape. Patton and Janus investigate. Virgil semi-reluctantly helps.

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[little-bit-of-cinnamon]

The Difference Between Talking and Doing - Sprace

Race was at a student government conference when his hotel room phone rang. He wasn’t expecting Spot on the other line. 

Sprace modern high school AU

Fluff, getting together

4.1k words

Race has always prided himself on being a leader, being the one that a lost underclassman could ask for directions to class, the one that teachers trust to watch their classroom as they leave the room. He went to all the school events, joined all the committees, and was an active member of student government. And a passionate one at that.

Student government made him feel like he had an impact on the school, like he could listen to his peers and bring new ideas to the table. He felt like he meant something, made a difference. So, he attended all the meetings, volunteered at all the fundraisers. He was at every school event, and everyone knew him because of it.

Race liked being known, it made him feel like he had a real high school experience. He wasn’t just sitting in class, taking notes, and going home.

So, when the annual statewide student government conference rolled around in March, he was the first to apply.

And, unsurprisingly, the first to be accepted.

And, two weeks later, the first on the bus.

Race was an outgoing person, always eager to meet new people and make new friends, yet his favorite part of these events always remained the same. Bonding with his own council. He loved dinners with his friends and underclassmen who he doesn’t know and his advisors. Making jokes and making memories. He loved the SnapChat group Romeo made, sending videos they sneak of their unsuspecting peers as they eat. He loves the teasing, the strengthening of relationships, the level of comfort and acceptance that isn't regularly found in school.

But the very best part wasn’t even a part of the conference itself, it was at night in the hotel. They all piled into Medda’s room, ignoring the teasing they get from other schools’ councils when they find out that they all hang out with their advisor. They play games, truth or dare or never have I ever and other lame party games, they tell embarrassing stories and eat way too many M&Ms. Race loves for it.

Nobody gets enough, or any, sleep and coffee is hard to come by in the morning, with the hundreds of overtired teenagers all with the same need, but nobody gets grumpy, nobody cares that they have to be up at 7. They’re all just happy to be with each other and, honestly, it’s magical.

Race was looking forward to their first night of council bonding all day. He ate dinner, watched the annual conference lip sync battle and then went straight upstairs. He stopped in his room to brush his teeth (he hates the feeling of unbrushed teeth) and went to secure a spot on the extra bed in Medda’s room. Soon, everyone began piling in, squeezing on the bed or sitting on the floor. Talking about who was auditioning for the upcoming play (Race was) and who was surprised that Jack and Davey started dating (Race wasn’t), he felt the familiar comfort and contentedness fill him up and he sunk back into the pillows, grateful to be experiencing this once more.

It was hardly past midnight when there was a knock at the door.

“Who could that be?” Medda asked as she stood from the desk chair, walking to the door.

“I dunno,” said Finch, “I think everyone’s here.”

The man at the door was tall and intimidating, stern eyes and a gray beard.

“I assume you didn’t hear about the curfew.” He looked unamused.

“Oh, I’m sorry. These are all my kids, we’re just doing some bonding and debriefing. I know where everyone is.” Medda explained.

“I’m glad you’ve done the bare minimum but I’m afraid that there is a 12:15 curfew that your students are breaking.” The man smiled but it was obviously fake, condescending.

“Oh, I’m sure it’s alright, everybody is accounted for. We do this every year.”

“Not this year you don’t. Everyone must be back in their assigned rooms immediately. I will be back in five minutes. I am not afraid to bring security.” The man turned on his heel and continued down the hall.

“Well,” Medda shut the door and entered the room, looking shocked, “you heard the man, I guess. Everyone off to bed.”

Everyone began gathering their things and filing out of the room. “I can’t believe that guy would talk to Medda like that, she’s an adult show some respect,” Race said.

“I know, it’s such a bummer. Hanging in here is always my favorite part,” agreed Spot.

Spot Conlon. Senior class president. Intimidating guy. Race has known him for as long as he can remember but he still finds it difficult to talk to him. Spot oozes a sense of too cool for you that Race couldn’t overcome. And it didn’t help that he was literally gorgeous. Race thinks that everyone probably has a crush on Spot but everyone’s too intimidated to say anything.

“Yeah, the whole point of this conference is to strengthen the council. That dude’s bullshit.” Race pulled his key card out of his lanyard and opened the door to his room. “Good night, I guess.” Race stepped into his room and flopped straight to his bed, Crutchie and Jack following.

Race and his roommates were talking and mindlessly scrolling through Instagram, nobody tired because they weren’t expecting to be in bed so soon when the room’s phone rang. Race, his bed being next to the phone on the nightstand, answered.

“Hello?” Race asked, confused.

“Hey, this Racer?” the voice on the other end asked.

“Yeah, Spot?”

“Yeah, it’s me.”

“Why are you calling my room? Nobody uses these phones.” Race sat up against the headboard, answering Jack and Crutchie’s confused faces with a shrug.  

“That dude can’t stop me from talking to people,” Spot said. “So you’re using the shitty hotel phones as your way of sticking it to the man?” Race asked, smiling.

“Honestly, it was the first thing I thought of. What are you guys up to? You with Crutch and Cowboy?”

“Yeah, we were just hanging around. Weren’t expecting to be in bed this early.” Race got comfortable, falling into the conversation.

“Yeah, this totally blows. No offense to my roommates but I wasn’t exactly looking forward to spending the entire night with them.” Race heard a muffled “Dude we’re right here,” from the other line.

And so, they kept talking. About the day, the plans they had for tomorrow, the crazy English teacher they shared. It was hard to believe that they’d hardly talked before tonight.

Race hadn’t noticed the time passing until Jack and Crutchie were both ready to sleep.

“Racer, I don’t wanna put an end to your endless flirting but Crutch and I are gonna go to bed. Wanna do us a favor and shut the fuck up? Ain't this what texting was invented for?” Jack plugged his phone in and set it on the nightstand before taking his socks off and getting into bed. Race checked the clock on the dresser. 3:42.

“Shit, Spot. We should probably get some sleep.” Race said, giving an apologetic smile to Jack. Jack rolled his eyes in response.

“Yeah, I guess. Talk to ya soon Racer.”

Race set down the phone and got up to take his contacts out.

“You two talked for a while,” Crutchie called from his bed to Race in the bathroom.

“He’s just easy to talk to I guess. I don’t know, it’s weird. I’ve never really talked to him much before.” Race washed his hands and stared at his tired eyes in the mirror.

“Yeah and so are we,” Jack called. “You just ignored us for like four hours. I didn’t realize you were trying to get a man this weekend.”

“Shut up, I’m not,” Race walked out of the bathroom wearing his glasses. “He called here, I just had a conversation. Besides, he could have been calling for any of us.”

“Whatever you say but neither of us would have talked to Spot Conlon for more than a minute before hanging up. Right, Crutch?” Jack turned the light off as Race got into bed.

“Honestly I’m surprised you answered the phone,” answered Crutchie.

“So what? I’m personable and you’re jealous. Good night fellas.” Race set his glasses on the nightstand and resisted the urge to text Spot. His number sat unused in Race’s phone. It would be weird if Race texted him, he’s sure Spot only talked to Race to have something to do. No big deal.

The next morning was business as usual. Jack, Race, and Crutchie woke up and groaned about being tired for only a minute before getting ready for the day. The days at the conference were long and busy with little downtime outside of meals so they packed their bags with snacks and their notebooks and phone chargers before meeting up with some of the others to go to breakfast. The three boys along with Davey, Katherine and Finch all met in the hallway and we’re about to leave when another door opened and out stepped Spot.

“Hey, guys. You heading to breakfast?” Spot asked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“Yeah, you wanna join us?” Asked Davey.

“Thanks. I didn’t get a ton of sleep and my roommates were out early.” The group started walking toward the elevators.

“I wonder why.” Jack elbowed Race in the side as soon as Spot was out of earshot.

Race wasn’t sure how to act. It’s not like he and Spot are best friends. They’ve hardly spent any time together. Sure, now Race knows that Spot wants to be a lawyer and he loves meatball subs and his guilty pleasure is The Bachelorette but still, he hardly actually knows him.

“Shut up, Jack. I don’t wanna hear it.” Race replied quietly yet seriously.

Spot, Katherine, and Finch walked ahead, having some conversation the others couldn’t hear. “What’s going on with Spot and Race?” Davey asked.

“Nothing,” Race insisted but at the same time Crutchie replied, “They spent all night flirting on the hotel phone.”

“Really? Race and Spot Conlon? Not exactly a pair I would put together.”

“Dave, I’m literally standing right here.” Race rolled his eyes.

“Sorry, buddy. Maybe next time if you wanna flirt discreetly do it over text.”

“That’s what I said!” Jack said excitedly, bouncing as he walked.

Race took his phone from his pocket and checked his notifications, ignoring the conversation between the others.

The days at the conference are long and busy. After breakfast they broke into leadership workshops with students from other schools and Race didn’t see his friends for any longer than a passing by in the hallway. He didn’t mind, though. He loves reconnecting with old friends who he hasn’t seen in months or even since the last conference the year before. He plays games and light-hearted get-to-know-you’s while having serious discussions about inclusion and fundraising and school politics. It’s all of Race’s favorite things wrapped into one.

He didn’t think about Spot or Jack or Crutchie, he just had fun, took notes and made friends. After the workshops, they met in the main hall for a keynote speaker. There’s no losing with these. Either they’re very motivational and moving or they're terrible and the council can make jokes about them in the group chat. Race ignored the sadness he felt when Spot sat at a different table. They’re not even really friends, why should he care that he didn’t sit with Race and his friends? He shook off his emotions and took a SnapChat video of Jack under Davey’s arm to caption with a disgusted emoji. There’s no reason he should be bothered by Spot so he’ll just carry on.

That night was the fancy night. There was a banquet where everyone had to dress up and they gave out awards and recognized the best advisors and people gave speeches. But most importantly, it’s boring. The speeches were long and Race never knew who any of the people are anyway. The only benefits are the good food and being able to mess around with his friends with the added thrill of needing to be quiet. Everything’s funnier when you’re not supposed to laugh.

Because the banquet was formal, there was extra time for everyone to get ready than there would usually be for an evening program. Race isn’t finicky about his look. He doesn’t usually try to manage his curls more than wetting and brushing them and that’s the extent of his cosmetic routine. Jack, on the other hand, is surprisingly precise about getting his hair just right and looking his best. Maybe it’s an artist thing, like his hair is a canvas and his too-strong smelling pomade is the paint. Race is sure it also doesn’t help his time management that Davey is sitting on the counter in the bathroom while Jack gets ready in the mirror, but that’s none of his business.

So, Race was lying in bed, already in his dress shirt and bowtie waiting for the rest of his peers to be ready to leave. Eventually, as he waited, people joined him and his room became the hangout for the boys who were already ready to go.

There were probably about eight guys in the room already when Spot walked in. He was wearing a dark navy shirt with a grey tie and he looked incredible. Race fell from second place to seventh on the game of Mario Kart they were playing on Elmer’s Switch when Spot walked in.

“Hey, fellas. I heard some fun in here so I thought I’d stop by.” Spot took a seat on Race’s bed and began watching the game.

“Yeah, man, no problem. We got time to kill and snacks and Mario Kart, I dunno why you’d be anywhere else.” Jack said without taking his eyes off the screen. He was in tenth place but still determined to win. From his spot on the bed, Jack elbowed Race, looking over at him with a small grin. Race glared back.

Spot took a seat on the office chair in the room. “Who’s who?” Spot said, leaning over to see the screen.

“I’m top right,” said Race.

“Damn, Higgins. Seventh place? You gotta step up.” Spot began spinning in the chair.

“Yeah, I was almost in the lead but I got distracted.” Race concentrated on the screen.

“Oh yeah? By what?” Spot stopped the chair’s movement to look at Race.

Race froze. “Uh, nothing. Never mind.”

“Real smooth, Racer.” Jack grinned.

“Shut up, Jack. I don’t wanna hear it.”

Race looked up from the screen to steal a glance at Spot. Race swears he could see Spot look away before they could make eye contact; as if Spot was looking at Race and didn’t want to get caught.  Race grinned and focused his attention back to the game, shooting into third place.

Race ended in third and gave up his spot for the next game, allowing someone else to play. He moved onto Jack’s bed, closer to the desk Spot was sitting in.

“You’re not gonna play?” Race asked Spot.

“Nah, you guys seem to be having fun.” Spot shook his head.

“Doesn’t mean you can’t have fun with us.”

“I don’t wanna intrude.”

“It’s not intruding.” Race said, “we’re all here for the same reason. We’re all hanging out.”

“Thanks, Race. Maybe later.” Spot took his phone out of his pocket and looked away from Race. It might be his imagination but Race thinks he can see Spot smile. It feels good to know that he is the one who caused it.

“Is anyone naked in here?” A voice came from outside the door.

“Yeah, Kat. We all are, come on in.” Jack called back.

The door opened. “Shut up, I wanted to make sure it was safe to enter. You guys ready?”

Katherine looked beautiful with her makeup done and her dress complimenting her body.

“We good fellas?” asked Jack. The guys began gathering their things and heading toward the door.

“You look beautiful, Katherine.” Race said, “That dress is bangin’”

“Aw, thanks, Racetrack. You’re not too bad yourself.”

Everyone met in the hallway and Medda led them down to the banquet hall. They took some group pictures and Race became a designated photographer for some of the girls having photoshoots for Instagram before he got dragged into some photos himself.

He loved this environment, where everyone was friends even if they don’t talk much at school. Maybe that’s why Spot’s been talking to him. Not because he wants to talk to Race, in particular, he just has been in the mood to be social, to meet people, to bond. That was probably it. There was no reason for Spot to call Race’s room, he probably didn’t even know who was in each room. And he could have wanted to talk to Jack or Crutchie. There was nothing there.

Race was determined to not let this realization ruin his mood. The dinner on banquet night is always the best and the way the council sneaks videos of each other failing to stay awake during the speeches is one of his favorite parts of the night. He still has that and he has his friends with him and that’s all he needs.

In the banquet hall Race sat next to Davey and Katherine, which means Jack, Crutchie, and Sarah were coming in tow.  The rest of the council filled into the tables nearby, and the chatter and excitement for dinner and the dance later that night filled the room.

Race’s mood didn’t fall for the rest of the night. The dinner ended and people were clearing the hall to prepare for the dance. They were serving ice cream in the hotel lobby to keep the students busy while they put the tables away. The excitement of the dance that night echoed through the lobby as people lined up to get back into the hall.

The dance was crowded and hot and sweaty and shouldn’t be enjoyable but Race was in his element. His throat hurt from screaming the lyrics to random pop songs as well as student government favorites but he wouldn’t have it any other way. A slow song came on and Race left the dance floor. He could see his coupled friends move toward each other and some of his other friends dance together as a half-joke half-platonic loving gesture. Race headed to the refreshments to get some water.

He was filling his cup when someone came up behind him.

“Hey, Racer.”

Race turned around to see Spot Conlon behind him holding an empty cup.

“Spot, hey. Slow songs not your thing?” Race took a sip.

“Not when I have nobody to dance with.” Spot filled his own cup.

“Yeah, I feel that.”

“Is there something weird between us?” Spot asked suddenly. “We talked so much last night but today it’s like we don’t even know each other.”

“Oh, thank God.” Race let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in. The lights changed and Race’s favorite song started playing. “I gotta go, but let’s just say if you called again tonight, I’d answer.” Race threw away his cup and ran toward the dancefloor. He couldn’t wipe the smile off his face.

The dance ended and Race and his friends were walking back to their rooms. When they turned the corner down the hall they saw the same man from the night before waiting by their rooms.

“There someone you’re looking for?” Asked Jack.

“No, I’m just here to make sure this council stays in their assigned rooms tonight, it seems you can’t be trusted.” The man stood with his arms crossed, looking down the hallway.

“Alright then, good night I guess.” Jack took his keycard out and opened their room and Race and Crutchie followed him in.

“That seems unnecessary,” said Crutchie.

“Yeah, totally,” Race said but he was too focused on the phone. He hadn’t talked to Spot since he saw him at the dance.

Race took a shower, hoping the whole time that the phone wouldn’t ring while he was bathing. Because it seemed that this year there would be no council bonding this year Race brushed his teeth and took his contacts out before changing into pajamas. He was sitting on his bed texting his mom when the phone rang.

“Hey.” Race tried to not sound too excited.

“What’s up, Racer?”

“Not much, apparently. I can’t believe that guy won’t let us hang out in Medda’s room”

“Don’t worry. I figured out a way. Come through the sliding door.”

Race looked across the room to the door leading to a courtyard. The hotel was shaped like a rectangle with a garden in the center. Race can’t believe he hadn’t thought of this. If the people on this side of the hall go through the courtyard they could get into each other’s rooms.

“Spot, you’re a genius.” Race hung up the phone and headed toward the door, ignoring Crutchie asking where he’s going.

When Race got outside he saw Spot waiting with a smug grin on his face.

“Nice glasses, Racetrack.”

Spot was still wearing his formalwear from the dance and Spot was suddenly very aware of his flannel pajama pants and glasses.

“Yeah, I guess I wasn’t expecting to see anyone but Jack and Crutch tonight.”

Spot’s grin grew. “So if you knew you were gonna see me you would’ve gotten all dolled up?”

Race could feel his cheeks grow red. “I can neither confirm nor deny that.”

“Race?” Spot asked quietly.

“Yeah?”

“Do you wanna kiss me as badly as I wanna kiss you?”

“Yeah,” Race repeated with a smile.

“Get over here, then.”

Race stepped forward, closing the space between them. Spot’s arms wrapped around Race’s waist and he pulled him closer. Race didn’t know how badly he wanted this until it started happening but now he can’t imagine a world without Spot. Two days ago Race and Spot hardly spoke. They had different friends, different classes, different lives and Race had no clue what he was missing out on.

They separated when they heard the door to Race’s room open.

“Racetrack Higgins, you mean to tell me that you found a way to hang out with other rooms and you didn’t tell us so that you could stand out in the cold and make out with Spot?” Jack looked offended as he walked outside, Crutchie following.

“It was Spot’s idea.” Race said, defensively.

“Hey, don’t bring me into this.” Spot whacked Race on the chest.

“It doesn’t matter.” Crutchie shut the door behind him. “We’re gonna be in Finch and Dave’s room. We’ll text when we’re heading back.” Crutchie’s smile implied that he knew exactly what they were doing as they left the room empty.

It was well past midnight when Jack and Crutchie were crossing back through the courtyard back to their room. Race hadn’t answered their texts and they feared they were going to see more than they ever wanted to see when they opened the door.

Crutchie walked inside and was surprised to see Spot and Race cuddled under the blankets on Race’s bed, Race’s glasses smashed against his face.

“Aw, they’re sweet.” Crutchie looked to Jack, smiling. Jack still had a hand over his eyes. “Jack, you’re ridiculous you can open your eyes.”

“You can never be too safe, Crutch. I didn’t need any new mental scars tonight.”

They decided to let the boys sleep, nobody got enough sleep at these conferences anyway. They were leaving the next morning and it’s always difficult to get up and pack when they haven’t slept all weekend. So, they were quiet as they got themselves ready for bed before they shut the light off and went to sleep.

The next morning Spot woke up confused as to where he was. It wasn’t until he saw Race standing across the room that his confusion melted away into a smile.

“Mornin’, sleepyhead,” Race said, his words muffled into his toothbrush. “You should probably head back to your room to pack and get ready for breakfast.”

Spot pried himself from the bed, groaning at the discomfort as he stood. “I can’t believe you guys let me sleep in my dress clothes.”

“Sorry, man, but I think there would have been bloodshed if we woke you up,” Crutchie responded as he packed his suitcase.

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” Spot walked to Race and pressed a kiss to his temple before leaving the room. Race was giddy as he went back into the bathroom to spit his toothpaste.

“So, things seem pretty good with you guys, what happened last night?” Jack asked.

“We did what we’re best at. We talked.”

[writeroftheprompts]

Back to School Tips

A lot of you might be going back to school soon (like me) or have just started. Since I’m starting my fifth year of uni (it’s a six year program 🙃) I figured I would share some of my findings. These things have gotten me through four years of university so far while working part-time with a great GPA, decent sleep, and time for myself. School is damn hard and I’ve made plenty of mistakes and had plenty of break downs but it doesn't have to be as bad as it seems.

Plan. Your. Shit. Listen, listen, I know this is what everybody and your mother tells you to do but there’s a reason. The thing is you need to plan ahead as much as you can in the best way that works for you. The next four points are about planning and getting organized and it’s what works best for me so maybe it can help you or you can incorporate some of those points in your own technique. But whatever you do. Plan your shit.

Use a calendar. If you are in college/uni you probably have a syllabus from your classes that breaks down what your readings will be and at least roughly when assignments and tests will be. In September an essay that is due in mid October seems like a far away problem, and realistically it is, but that doesn't mean it can't help you plan. Go through the syllabi and mark down when each things will be due. I like using the calendar app on my phone/laptop and make a different “calendar” for each subject with a different colour so that I can see everything easily. This can help you see things better at a glance and help you plan other things that pop up in the future.

Break down your time. If you can break down your time into specific chunks of time it will help you focus on that task and also allow you to rest. For me, I plan what I’m going to work on during my commute to campus (I take transit) and depending on my schedule I’ll also plan out chunks between classes or specific chunks when I’m at home. The key is SPECIFIC chunks, not just “On Tuesday I'm going to do X”. These chunks keep you accountable to yourself so you don't keep procrastinating it later in the day, help get your mind set on the task, keep you organized, make the task seem more manageable by creating a limit, and also help you allow yourself to relax. If you tell yourself “I’m going to work on my paper between 11am-1pm” and you buckle down and do it for those hours, then you can rest easier and not feel as guilty during your down time that you aren't working on something else now. You planned what needed to be done, assigned the chunk, and now it’s time to relax. Breaks. And. Rest. Are. Necessary. 

Build a routine. I like to plan out 1-2 weeks ahead of time. On Sunday I will plan out my studying for the next two weeks, as best as I can because there are always unknowns and things that pop up, and then the next Sunday I’ll plan out the following week. This means that things won't sneak up on me. It takes a little trial and error at the beginning of the semester but eventually I find a routine where, for example, I will do the weekly readings for one class on the Monday commute and another after lunch on my day off etc. Extra chunks are left over for assignments and things that aren't regular weekly tasks. Sometimes those chunks are left free (or for getting ahead if I want), sometimes on really busy periods I have to create more study chunks, but at least I have a routine to know what needs to be done when. 

Be realistic. So how do you actually assign these chunks? Underestimate yourself. Seriously. You think you can create that whole presentation in two hours? Give yourself more time. Maybe it actually takes less time in which case, congratulation, but if not you may be putting yourself in unnecessary stress. I actually like to make my own due dates for assignments a day or two before it is actually due. For example, if I have a research report I will plan out chunks for outlining, a few for writing and researching, editing and then actually write in the plan, highlighted, FINISH REPORT on the chunk I intend to finish so I can make sure I’m on track. Then I’ll add an extra chunk just in case but I don't actually expect to need it. It’s a fail safe for when something goes wrong or there’s something unexpected. Again, breaking down your time like this will keep you organized and on task when you need to be, but also help you see that all work you have to do isn't as all-consuming as it seems. You’ll be okay.

Here is a post I made a while back about research tips.

Use the library. Duh, right? But this is more of a money saving tip. This might not be too helpful to everyone but since I’m in English and History a lot of my readings are from novels and books that are readily available at the library. Rather than buy all the books, I try to find them at my university library or even my local library. I still have to buy a lot, especially textbooks that I’ll actually be using all year or in the future, but for that $20 novel I’ll only need one week I get it from the library. Those little books really add up and I save a few hundred every year. You can even use OverDrive which will connect to you free ebooks and audiobooks you can access through your local library. Best part is it is completely legal and you can download them on your phone with the app so you can read whenever you have time and the book will automatically be returned when the loan is over. 

Find the study environment that is right for you. This will be different for everyone. For me, I work best when I’m alone and with background sound. This is why working on a bus, in a noisy student centre or with instrumental music works well for me (music with lyrics is distracting). Some people need silence. Some people like study partners to bounce ideas or even just sitting at the table with them, but for me I know that sitting with friends will inevitably lead to chatting. Sometimes it’s nice just to talk over ideas but when I really need to focus I know being alone and with an instrumental playlist is the best way to go. Be honest with yourself and others about the environment you need to be successful.

Don’t be afraid to speak up when you need help. Your professors, teachers, and TAs are not evil (usually) and they usually do want to help. I won’t lie, going to office hours can be a little nerve-racking and it isn't always super helpful but when it is it has made a huge difference. These people have been learning, working, and teaching in this field way longer than you have and they can help make sense of your jumbled paper thesis or unravel a lecture you didn't really understand. Also, if you go to them with work done and they can genuinely see you are trying to take the course seriously, they can help you with due date extensions if you really need them. Be honest when you aren't understanding something because, trust me, the confusion and stress will just keep building. If the person you go to is worth anything as an educator they will help you and will understand that this stuff is hard and appreciate that you are trying your best. (Sometimes they’ll even give you the inside scoop on future assignments or test 😉)

Also, speak up to work managers or other people you are accountable to. It’s best to book off time ahead of time when you know you’ll be busy but it doesn't hurt to respectfully ask when you need help. Sometimes you’ll get a no, which sucks, but sometimes you’ll get a yes. Talk to friends or family too fi you have commitments that you know won't be good for you. Be respectful and honest about what is happening and they’ll understand. They may even be able to help out.

You can’t write a real paper in one day. Yeah, I’ve seen the memes and videos of people being like “Lol, teachers always say I can’t write an essay the night before. Challenge accepted!” You can’t do it. You just can’t. Maybe in high school but I don’t recommend it. Or maybe you are a superhero and can properly come up with an interesting thesis for a 12 page paper and organize all your points and find the minimum required seven outside peer-reviewed sources and write the damn paper, cite, and edit in one day but...I sure as hell can't. Just don't do this to yourself. See above planning tips and research tips to do this properly and with minimal stress. 

Colour code. Having organized notes can go a long way. When I’m actually writing them in lecture it can hard to make them look as clear as I want but I try to at least make subheadings and bold if I can. When I have time I might go back and clean them up a bit. When I’m studying I colour code. Most profs and teachers will give you an idea of main course themes and topics maybe in the syllabus or in outlines at the beginning of lecture. Some even give Key Terms! Take note of those and keep them mind while studying so you can colour code pieces of information by topic or theme. This will help you later on when you are trying to find a piece of information and also make links between the information that will give you a deeper understanding of the material. 

Learn to forgive yourself. Like I said in the intro, I’ve made mistakes. I’ve gotten grades I’ve been disappointed with or been late to something important or overworked myself or a bunch of other things. You are trying your best. School is HARD. If you are starting post secondary now it is very common to have your grades drop and it’s not because you are terrible at what you’re doing or not trying hard enough it’s because this shit is fucking hard. You’ll get there, you’ll get the feel for all this newness and you’ll realize that you’re doing okay. When you make a mistake, do what you can to correct it and learn from it, but then accept that what has already happened can't be changed and you can only forgive yourself and move forward. 

Just because you can, doesn't mean you should. I can probably physically eat five full bags of salt and vinegar chips in one day but it will probably burn a hole through my stomach. I can work myself to the bone and pull all-nighters and keep studying through the tears but I shouldn’t. You might think you can work yourself to the brink repeatedly but you can't. You will burn out. If you wouldn't do something physically unhealthy like downing an obscene amount of salt and vinegar chips just because you can, you shouldn't do something that is going to break you down emotionally and mentally. Ask for help and do the best you can while still maintaining some healthy boundaries. 

[zelvyth]

 From a very young age it was reinforced that my ADHD was a disability I was meant to overcome rather than a tool I could use to better myself. I didn’t even know that I had been diagnosed, and that my mother had chosen not to medicate me, until I was partway through highschool. By that point I had already begun to give up on ever truly “making it” in life. The hurdles I needed to overcome had demoralized me to the point of near total apathy. Between my sexuality and early coming out in a small town highschool, and my various mental health problems, I felt like no one in the world saw things from my point of view. The last blow to my self esteem came when my grade 12 english teacher, the true decider of fate to any young person, told me my final thesis on Lady Macbeth being one of the greatest example of the flaws in Machiavelli’s “The Prince” was brilliant, but due to formatting and scattered grammar issues, she could give me no higher than a 60%. After years of getting consistent high 90’s in my english classes as well as other subjects, I had failed this extremely crucial essay due to the idiosyncrasies of the most frustrating language known to humankind. I passed that class with a 68, and felt like my fate was sealed. No chance at getting into any University in the country without redoing 5 months of work because one person believed that following the rules was a more important indication of intelligence than original ideas and the ability to make an argument. It crushed me. I admit that I didn’t put in the effort, but I had spent my entire life being told I was incredibly intelligent. It was the one thing I held onto. I felt betrayed by the education system. Though it was also due to many other factors at the time, this contributed to the second of my four suicide attempts. Today, I reject that philosophy. 

    When a person with ADHD is thinking, they connect ideas in their heads much faster than the average person. It can be confusing and disorienting to the people around them. I constantly have to explain how I got from point A to point B because the points connect automatically in my head. It’s exhausting, so I frequently do not bother to try. It’s extremely helpful when crafting an argument, however it can be debilitating in many aspects of modern life. Things the average person doesn’t think about, can be crippling for me. Without a true passion towards something, my ability to focus becomes hazy and my thoughts become scattered. I spend the majority of the day stuck in my head having conversations with myself instead of doing “normal” things with my time. I have spent my life being told that ADHD is my weakness, today I can tell you with the utmost certainty that it is my greatest strength.

    When the international pandemic of the respiratory disease “Covid-19” truly began and the world went into full nationwide lockdown, the bistro that I had, for the most part, happily been employed at shut down. After 8 years of honing my culinary craft certain that my skills, though undervalued, would always be needed somewhere, I was out of a job. Indefinitely. So was most of the country that worked with their hands or, in some capacity, physically with other people. Unless you were able to conduct business through zoom conferences or were a suddenly “essential” employee like a fast food worker, you were left with little to do but sit and think or try desperately to distract yourself from the increasingly troubling world around you. Luckily, to my surprise, the conservative government had pledged to keep us all fed and watered as best they could. What deeply worried me was the knowledge that my friends south of the border, through no fault of their own, and already mostly furious with their government, were not being treated with the same bare minimum of respect. I knew it was a recipe for true disaster and widespread civil unrest as early as march.

    I watched while the culture of social media, at least from my own lgbt bias, slowly started to shift and I picked up a lot of the big picture through memes and personally shared anecdotes. Celebrities were being ripped apart as they tried to get our attention again from their huge mansions while people sat at home worried about how to feed their children. Using insensitive phrasing like “we’re all in this together” when they undeniably weren’t. It quickly became a social caste system. The desperately poor trying to creatively make money any way they could. The often needlessly endangered. And the upper class for whom, little had changed besides the inability to do whatever they want at any given time. The lines were very clearly drawn. While the rich bemoaned their accessibility to haircuts, the poor argued with landlords about rent. All the while another group was frequently paid minimum wage to work on the proverbial front lines; flipping hamburgers, being yelled at by the rich because you were out of everything with the supply chain so damaged, or literally saving peoples lives. The anger and frustration quickly took over nearly every form of social media. Subtly, but day by day it grew. There was only so much one could do from inside their apartments, and globally, the havenots found solace and comfort with one another. The narratives of meme culture, which had matured and specialized far beyond the early days of “lolcats” and “trollface” comics, became almost exclusively about mocking the rich and their inability to deal with slight inconveniences.

Nearly every month of 2020 was a new major nationwide crisis and people had little else to do but talk about it or ignore it. The year kicked off with serious threat of a third world war because Donald Trump was tweeting intentionally inflammatory remarks towards the fascist leader of North Korea. All while nearly the entire country of Australia was ravaged by forest/bush fire. January saw a clearly corrupt president unbelievably not be impeached. Sparking outrage among, in my humble opinion, any sane individual. This also exposed, to anyone who knew all the facts, that the systems to hold those in power accountable was clearly broken and corruptible. Towards the end of January, beloved basketball player Kobe Bryant died in a horrible helicopter accident involving his daughter. Late February leading into early March was when global fears over Coronavirus began to be taken extremely seriously by every government in the world, the exception being the United States and the Trump administration. By late April, the country had over a hundred thousand dead, and nearly a quarter of its population out of a job. The irony of this, is that the calls to reopen the country didn’t come from those that had lost their jobs, but the upper class that had grown restless deprived from their usual comforts. Meanwhile we openly mocked them on instagram, tumblr, and twitter. Trying desperately to make light of a horrible situation and bring at least a little levity to their lives. News that a new breed of dangerously fatal hornets had migrated to North America was derided as a filler episode. One of my personal favourite takes on the year as a whole so far was a comparison to the four horseman of the apocalypse. January representing War, February representing Pestilence, March representing Famine, and April representing Death. In fact a lot of meme culture started to take on an extremely apocalyptic vibe. The message for many was clear, and depressing.

Then things started to happen really fast, so fast that for many it would make your head spin looking at it from the outside. It began with a video featuring a white Canadian woman from Waterloo named Amy Cooper that went viral across the globe. In the Ramble area of Central Park in NYC, this woman was filmed by a clearly peaceful, yet insistent, black man named Christian Cooper, no relation, asking her to leash her dog. This is a bylaw of the area. The woman refused and began to become very distressed, roughly handling her dog by the collar. She started dailing 911 and accused the man of assaulting her to the dispatcher. What many understood about this act, and rightfully called her out in outrage over, is that she was using her knowledge of how police handle black people in America to threaten this mans life over leashing her dog. She has been fired, and the shelter has taken her dog back.

Two days later, as I was travelling to my family’s cottage to “get away from it all and unplug”, a friend sent me a snapchat video from Minneapolis. It was on fire. I immediately did everything I could to try to find out what had happened. That, is when I saw the video of 8 minutes and 46 seconds of a police officer with his knee on the neck of another human being. This did not shock, nor suprise me. I had followed the many accounts of police killing people on video since 2014 when I was 16. When the Ferguson protests over Michael Brown’s killing by police officers were broadcast over most of the developed world. I had seen little change, despite Barrack Obama being President. This continued to happen for the next 6 years, though there were no more protests. Some of the people of those original protests that started the Black Lives Matter Movement, went missing over the next several years. Mainly those that had been photographed.

George Floyd’s death, I feel, was the straw that broke the camels’ back. Which is how anyone who has personally experienced police mistreatment and injustice would understand watching that video. A societal contract had been broken. And Minneapolis started to burn down the city that would let this happen to their friend, their neighbour, their father, their brother, and most importantly, their son. The words that chilled me to my very core… And continue to make me cry when I think about. Continue to make me want to punch every cop I run into.The words that have caused me to continue having this argument every day with everyone I know. The words that make me want to scream and rage and burn that country to the ground….  “Mama”

In his dying breaths this man called out to his mother. Who had died 2 years earlier. Who could not come save him. The police officer casually, with his hands in his pockets, knowing he could get away with it, murdered that man while he called out for his dead mother. Suffocated him to death in the middle of a global pandemic driven by respiratory disease. If I had been in Minneapolis that night, I would have helped burn it to the ground.

Something I didn’t expect happened then. Something I didn’t expect when I saw the fires and the rage from mostly black citizens of the city. As I watched Fox News try to turn the story into a conversation about rioting and looting rather than Police accountability. Other peaceful protests started up in other cities. My entire social media feed from multiple sources was filled with people discussing their anger and vowing to protest it. I don’t like to admit that I didn’t see this coming. But on May 26th, as I ravenously tried to keep up from the comfort of a cottage on Crystal Lake Ontario, a spark of hope for humanity that I had lost a long time ago started to ignite.

Something interesting happens when you get most of your information from social media. It either makes you hyper critical of everything you’re told and willing to research anything important, or it makes you willing to believe anything your friends tell you. As the protests kicked off in major cities across America, after months of inactivity, my ADHD kicked into high gear. I used every neuron of my brain power to follow the protests from as many different angles as I could. Most importantly, I followed the story from the people who were at them. That’s what growing up in modern society makes you do. After months if not years if not decades of being lied to for personal gain constantly. It makes you pay attention to the people who have nothing to gain.

I got back to my appartment from my cottage a day later, still glued to my phone. Barely talking, barely eating, barely sleeping. I watched police officers in riot gear throw tear gas into peaceful protests in every city in America. Tear gas, by the way, is an international war crime in combat situations. I watched media with an implicitly right wing bias condemn the protests. Convincing people that looting was worth a war crime. I watched it work. It worked with my own father. It did not work for me. I watched the news from political biases of both sides but took most of it with a grain of salt. That’s what I had been taught to do from as young as 14 by the world I grew up in. The news could give me general information. However, the story was on the ground and I knew from experience that people would try to bury it so I had to watch it as quickly as possible. I watched friends of mine in the states get tear gassed and beaten while exercising their first amendment rights. I watched the news condemn the protests. I was horrified. I watched the peaceful protesters of police brutality in New York get beaten and gassed from a minimum of 30 different perspectives of the people I knew and trusted, and those I didn’t. I watched the peaceful protestors in LA get beaten and gassed from the same amount of perspectives. I watched them throw flash bombs and shoot rubber coated bullets into the faces of my friends in every city in America. I watched the President of the United States order the peaceful protestors in front of the White House to be beaten and gassed so he could have an awkward photo-op with a fucking bible. I watched this for a week straight from every angle available. Day in and day out. Every hour I was conscious, I watched fascism try to grab power in in every city in America. I watched people in powerful positions deny it.

It wasn’t just paying attention to the protests and the news of them explicitly. I wasn’t just filled with horror. I was also watching something wonderfully unexpected happen. I watched my black friends, my gay friends, my asain friends, and my intelligent friends, begin to weaponize social media. I watched them beg all of their friends to do the same. So did I, even though I felt like there wasn’t anything I could really do from cozy liberal Waterloo. I watched us all turn the algorithms against the people who made them. I did everything I could to make sure you couldn’t turn away. I told my gay white friends condemning the actions of protestors that his rights came from a riot. I watched them shrink in fear of my voice. My father told me I was getting caught up in left wing rhetoric. I tore his arguments to shreds. He told me broad angry statements don’t do anything. I told him broad angry statements create the conversation we’re having. Resistance is a highway with many lanes, and I knew my lane.

You grow up, especially in my age, especially when you’re gay, especially when you are exposed to a lifetime of stories of rebellion against tyranny, hearing about the power of resistance. As I marched in Waterloo with over thirty thousand people I didn’t know, I realized that I have never truly understood that power. How it surges through your body like electricity as you scream until your voice is hoarse. It’s a high better than any drug known to man, than any pride parade where I was pandered to by corporations for hours. It took my fear, and my anger, and my helplessness and turned it into raw power exploding from my body. I continued to watch people I knew deny reality. 

The protests grew. They spread across the world like wildfire. I went to facebook, a place I avoid because I don’t agree with the majority of people on it, and told anyone who would listen to me that this is what Pride means. What it truly means to be proud of your community. Not a rainbow flag in a store window, not a corporation asking you to buy it’s rainbow backpack. But turning apathy in face of evil into raw unbridled electricity. I watched the protests spread to Montreal and Toronto, I watched the police mishandle things there too. I watched violence perpetuated by the state against my friends, people I’ve known for years. The power I felt merely grew. It grew with every flash grenade and bullet and tear gas canister shot at my friends. It will not subside till this is over or until I die. I’m going to spend the next decade giving up the comfortable life of good food, great drinks, and fantastic company that I found in the restaurant industry. I’m going to spend a decade getting my Law degree to fight for every last one of us in the courtroom because that is a place I can make it count. 

Today is June 8th of the year 2020 and I began writing this piece at Noon, it is now 4:11 P.M. I have done zero editing and I refuse to. I submit this as my revised final essay. I want to know when you got behind the protests. Because if it was as you were reading this, I deem you unworthy to judge my critical thinking skills. If it was yesterday I think you should be ashamed of yourself. I was with them from hour one. You should have been too. How dare you spend years teaching children about racism and oppression. How dare you tell me that I’m not worthy of higher education in any form. Telling children that wikipedia is unreliable as a source is idiotic, it’s one of the most peer reviewed encyclopedia’s to ever exist. How dare you tell me and the young adults you teach that you don’t give out scores higher than ninety percent. What is the point of forcing teenagers to write in cursive. Why must I live the experiences you write about in your precious properly formatted essays. In this country a 68 is two percent shy of getting into any University.  It’s sentencing an intelligent person with an array of disabilities a life of believing they have no power. Despite my own mistakes at the time and the amount I have grown as a person since, I will hold you personally accountable for that. 

As a closing statement, to every English teacher in this province, no, to every English teacher in the great country of Canada. Think very hard about when exactly you put your full support behind this movement. Because your curriculum is outdated, and absolutely useless in the real world. And your racism is showing.

Post Script.

There is no bibliography of unbiased sources because all sources are biased. You have a supercomputer in your pocket and this should all be public information. Look it up.

[tiramisiyu]

Tears of Themis: Main Story 4-12 Translation

Chapter 4 – Heart’s Fire: 4-1 / 4-3 / 4-5 / 4-6 / 4-8 / 4-9 / 4-11 / 4-12 / 4-13 / 4-15 / 4-17 / 4-18

Translation Masterlist: here

Video:  【未定事件簿】第四章《心火》剧情_哔哩哔哩 (゜-゜)つロ 干杯~-bilibili

Huang Haochu’s book room

In Huang Haochu’s book room, Lu Jinghe and I found lots of information about Zhang Zhuo’s case.

According to our speculations, Yuan Ting is most likely Zhang Zhuo’s son, as well as twins with Zhang Hao.

Lu Jinghe had his assistant think up a way to obtain Yuan Ting’s paternity test report from the private doctor to support our speculations.

As we waited, the two of us continued to look for clues in Huang Haochu’s book room, trying to unlock the password-protected folder on the notebook laptop.

Lu Jinghe: “Every person has a bundle of fire in their heart”... does this point to Van Gogh’s artworks?

MC: The sunflowers were Van Gogh’s masterpieces. I see that there are more than one sunflower pieces in the room. We should examine them.

BEGIN INVESTIGATION

On the left of the top of the bookshelf was placed a piece of art with grey-and-white sunflowers. 

[15-Sunflower Painting] Front, Flowers

MC: This piece of art has 15 sunflowers.

Lu Jinghe: Among the pieces handed down from Van Gogh, there are three with 15 sunflowers.

Lu Jinghe: The original of this piece is kept in England. How about I bring you there to see when we get the chance?

MC: Sure. Going with you to check out an art exhibition sounds pretty interesting.

[15-Sunflower Painting] Back, Writing on the Bottom-Right Corner

MC: 7.9. It was finished on July 9th.

Lu Jinghe: Mhmm, if it was done in the same year, this piece of art was finished later than the piece we saw earlier.

On the right of the top of the bookshelf was placed a piece of art with grey-and-white sunflowers. 

[12-Sunflower Painting] Front, Flowers

MC: This piece of art has 12 sunflowers. Though it’s grey and white, looking at the flower’s shape, they really do look like bundles of fire. 

Lu Jinghe: Van Gogh liked rural scenes the best. He poured his enthusiasm for life into his works.

Lu Jinghe: He treated colour with unique persistence. If you have a chance to see the original for this piece, you’ll have a deeper understanding of this point. 

MC: 12 flowers...does the password include 12?

[12-Sunflower Painting] Back, Date on the Bottom-Right Corner

MC: 6.23 - this piece should have been finished after the three-sunflower piece we saw earlier. 

Lu Jinghe: The year isn’t written - we can only guess with this theory. 

I lifted up the toppled-over art easel.

[Unfinished 5-Sunflower Painting]  Front, Flowers

MC: This piece with sunflowers actually has colour, but it looks like it wasn’t finished. The background wasn’t painted.

Lu Jinghe: This piece… wasn’t painted by Teacher Huang. Or you could say, it wasn’t entirely drawn by Teacher Huang.

MC: How can you see that?

Lu Jinghe: On this piece, there are two kinds of completely different brush movement styles. Among them, one kind’s expertise was clearly not sufficient.

MC: This kind of thing can even be seen?

Lu Jinghe: Compared to other art mediums, strokes from oil painting are easier to discern.

Lu Jinghe: The draft of this painting should be done by Teacher Huang, but the part of the work with colour should have been done by someone else.

Lu Jinghe: It seems like this person’s time spent getting used to oil painting wasn’t long. They were hesitant when putting down strokes.

Lu Jinghe: Maybe they felt pressured from copying a large master’s work, or it could be…

I was listening to Lu Jinghe’s review, but he suddenly stopped speaking.

MC: What else could it be?

Lu Jinghe: Nothing. Either way, this piece wasn’t done by Teacher Huang.

Lu Jinghe: It’s a pity that the original of this piece was destroyed in the fires of war. I won’t have the chance to take you to see the original’s elegance.

[Unfinished 5-Sunflower Painting] Back, Writing on the Bottom-Right Corner

MC: There’s no time written on this piece. Instead, two English words are written.

Lu Jinghe: Maybe because it wasn’t finished…

Lu Jinghe: “To Theo”...

Lu Jinghe: Theo should mean Vincent Van Gogh’s little brother, Theo Van Gogh.

Lu Jinghe: He was the closest person to Van Gogh from birth, and was also his most loyal supporter.

Account Book for Black Market Transactions

In the bookshelf, when we were investigating the artworks, I noticed that the lattice of one of the shelf doors was a little strange.

When I accidentally bumped into the backplane of the lattice, it made a noise like I was knocking on the door of an empty cabinet.

MC: Could it be that there is something behind this cabinet…?

I felt along the edge of the backplane, and though I didn’t know what I’d hit, the back panel actually opened. Inside, there was a notebook.

MC: Is this… Leinster’s account book for the black market transactions?

Lu Jinghe: “Picture of Rafting in the East Lake”... so the original of this piece went into the black market.

MC: What, was this piece very famous?

Lu Jinghe: It is pretty famous, though not to the point where it’s known to all.

Lu Jinghe: In the past two years, there was a loan shark whose boss really liked this piece. He set a high asking price, wanting to buy it.

Lu Jinghe: That person offered a very high price for that piece on the artwork markets, but no one brought it out. 

MC: Leinster sold a forgery of this piece to… Zhang Zhuo! It was actually Zhang Zhuo!

Lu Jinghe: Are you sure?

MC: It’s written very clearly in the account book, though it doesn’t record the buyer of the original piece.

Lu Jinghe: Now I finally understand why Yuan Ting made a trip down to Teacher Huang’s house.

MC: So you mean, Yuan Ting came here to find this piece? But what does he need it for - to burn it for Zhang Zhuo and his wife who’ve already died?

Lu Jinghe: That’s right. Because that loan shark’s boss was Zhang Zhuo’s creditor.

MC: So you mean, in spite of how the market value of “Picture of Rafting in the East Lake” isn’t that high…

MC: This piece, in the eyes of Zhang Zhuo’s creditor, is a piece that’s nearly impossible to find!

MC: If Zhang Zhuo gave this piece to the creditor from the beginning, could they possibly have prevented the tragedy where he committed self-immolation and lit the whole family on fire?

Lu Jinghe: Yep. It’s just a pity that the “Picture of Rafting in the East Lake” that Zhang Zhuo bought from Leinster was a fake.

Lu Jinghe: This also explains why Zhang Zhuo’s family was pushed for payment to the point of death, and why Yuan Ting was particularly resentful about Leinster’s counterfeit auction goods.

Lu Jinghe: Now, he wants to get the piece’s original, since he probably wants to resolve the knots in his heart before he leaves Stellis City.

Lu Jinghe: There are 10 digits for the folder password…

Lu Jinghe: The other paintings in the room don’t have anything to do with Van Gogh. Could the password be hidden in the sunflowers?

MC: If the password is 10 digits long, then it definitely points to the sunflowers.

ANALYSIS START

The password is hidden in the sunflowers, because…

Number of flowers: On the copied pieces of Van Gogh’s art, one piece of info that is clearly related to numbers is the number of flowers.

Dates on art pieces: On the copied pieces of Van Gogh’s art, one piece of info that is clearly related to numbers is the dates.

MC: Each sunflower piece has a date that the piece was made, and the number of sunflowers can also be clearly seen.

MC: I bet, if we arrange the number of sunflowers by the dates, we can get the file’s password.

Lu Jinghe: If we arrange by date, 3, 12, 15… the piece with 5 sunflowers wasn’t finished, so it’s obviously the last.

Lu Jinghe: 312155… there are only six digits.

MC: The fifth sunflower piece has that English bit, right - Theo.

MC: Plus, the password hint is a phrase from a letter Van Gogh sent to Theo. Of course, it’s “To Theo”.

Lu Jinghe: As expected, my lawyer is the greatest.

ANALYSIS END

Lu Jinghe entered “312155Theo” on the laptop. As expected, the folder opened.

Surprisingly, inside was just a simple file, nothing else.

[led123123]

I know you guys are gonna call me a sellout now

but I don’t care

https://images.app.goo.gl/c9KUTyiDkH3b7L8m8

https://youtu.be/H2okI6ZszQY?t=53

bullshit

https://youtu.be/H2okI6ZszQY?t=116

https://youtu.be/H2okI6ZszQY?t=134

https://youtu.be/z88_26M2xQk

fucking hate these fucking “cleaners” who clean vacuum clean dust

fucking cleaners..

cleaners.

trash

https://youtu.be/E4TygUpWUTQ

https://youtu.be/E4TygUpWUTQ?t=93

https://youtu.be/E4TygUpWUTQ?t=222

https://youtu.be/E4TygUpWUTQ?t=233

I wonder who is singing this part.. because there is like.. 4 girls... not 2

https://youtu.be/zdoB2TPqWxs?t=170

so this is the only song I heard

https://youtu.be/xKMT44GBaUI

because this one is fiestar

https://youtu.be/xKMT44GBaUI?t=36

she has very cute voice. and.. her voice is.. you know.. she doesn’t sound like an adult and she sounds cute but I don’t think that she’s naive

I think that she’s the type of person that.. has parents that make sure that she has everything

is this their only song I know?

they put her on thumbnails always

https://youtu.be/ShGVCembq70?t=50

I saw this on thumbnail for some reason

https://youtu.be/ShGVCembq70?t=37

these fruits were in last video..

https://youtu.be/hBNHEPI5TT0?t=435

I wonder what “iroke” means

https://images.app.goo.gl/1Sw38h3KbG94uS338

https://youtu.be/NPqtL1dtrlA

https://youtu.be/E9LkIHl-DeM

https://youtu.be/BmzrLQKocjk?t=57

https://youtu.be/beTK6vWAq8U

https://youtu.be/okqF28Rz92g

https://youtu.be/cNLToOigQoM

coaching

coaching was so funny in my games.. I was like.. I didn’t know what that was.. so I was like.. who the fuck is talking all the time.. on microphone. lol.. and we won and I rated coach “bad” xD because I didn’t know even who was talking all game. and he was mad in chat that I gave him bad review.

and then I saw that he was mad in chat on giving him bad rating. it was me who gave him bad rating because I didn’t know that he was in the game.. I was just wondering who is talking on microphone all the time because it was a new thing and it never was in before

so he was so mad that he got one bad review

he was talking all game and I was wondering who is talking.. because I didn’t know who is talking

because it’s the first time I saw it

I just clicked.. whatever to get to the end screen and there was a coach rating screen.. but I didn’t know about this new thing so I didn’t even read that and clicked “no” to get to get out of it

https://youtu.be/5OckREah0ug

because he was telling people to donate instead of subscribing.. that’s why they banned him

they don’t ban people who have contracts like ninja, “shroud” because they have a lot of subscribers

because they have a lot of subscribers..

he was trying to be a smart mouth.. and you know what they do with smart mouths

https://youtu.be/IWtnY8cHlTo?t=62

https://youtu.be/TGDILAcjBTg

mechanical vampyre made a dance video with this song too

but it’s removed

https://youtu.be/IWtnY8cHlTo?t=134

https://youtu.be/zdoB2TPqWxs?t=77

https://youtu.be/zdoB2TPqWxs?t=90

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zdoB2TPqWxs&lc=UgzngOLNMa5tiW73aJp4AaABAg

one more day

https://youtu.be/zdoB2TPqWxs?t=165

https://youtu.be/ShGVCembq70?t=39

https://youtu.be/65p80XAMxhw?t=49

https://youtu.be/IWtnY8cHlTo?t=22

https://youtu.be/IWtnY8cHlTo?t=60

https://youtu.be/IWtnY8cHlTo?t=112

this is albralelie

https://images.app.goo.gl/nVAGWvpbkkSiX5Vg9

I told you that twitch bans people who don’t have subscriptions

twitch bans people who don’t have subscriptions and only use donations, because they want money

so they will ban people who don’t make them any money

https://youtu.be/IWtnY8cHlTo?t=69

that’s how that works

maybe aceu also gave away subs so he doesn’t get banned

I’m tired of watching racist commercials on twitch

https://youtu.be/5qArvBdHkJA

https://youtu.be/5qArvBdHkJA?t=26

trash.

https://youtu.be/cNLToOigQoM?t=15

I fell asleep watching

https://youtu.be/cNLToOigQoM?t=182

тренеп. xD

это баг, мне вкинуло в игру меня нелза героя выбирать

#1. everyone says that #2. nobody reads what I’m saying anyway

lol I did the thing with nade

when you throw nade high and it explodes when it falls..

I’m not feeling that good..

I play bad today. I don’t feel that good because I don’t feel that amazing

I need to stretch my back again

I’m already starting to feel good

I was sleeping a lot

every single game requires million hours of playing..

this one isn’t any better

I shouldn’t have eaten so many of these scrambled eggs..

is my pasta from yesterday still okay? smells ok

pasta saved my life

https://youtu.be/w-Wc4lPCW9s

this pasta actually tastes really fresh

I rinsed it in cold water after cooking. that’s why it tastes so fresh. because.. bacteria develops the fastest in the water that is made out of cooking the pasta.. so if I rinse all this water.. away. then bacteria doesn’t grow in the water that I used for cooking pasta

https://youtu.be/CA_EGwZY69E?t=50

make sure that you rinse pasta after cooking in cold water.. if you want it to stay fresh for more time

and also if you rinse it. then pasta becomes cold so bacteria doesn’t grow as fast in cold temperature

I already feel better after eating this pasta

I get a lot of ads on youtube.. about.. people who are asking for money for medical help

and the last one I saw.. is.. hebrew.. and.. it’s not the only hebrew ad like that that I saw.. but this time this person reminded me of yaara.. the hebrew teacher

she said that she was “diagnosed with cancer”. to me what doctors say is just lies

and she’s saying that she’s gonna die.. and.. you know.. I think that donations for stuff like that is a scam

I don’t believe it

I already feel better after eating this pasta

https://youtu.be/Fb0x8R0vb4g?t=50

xD soundboard. xD he didn’t say what he wanted. xD

https://youtu.be/Fb0x8R0vb4g?t=67

xD

https://youtu.be/Fb0x8R0vb4g?t=115

who the f*ck is xqc??

https://youtu.be/Fb0x8R0vb4g?t=169

xD

https://youtu.be/Fb0x8R0vb4g?t=290

nope. xD

ok you’re capping

https://youtu.be/lEiLKnK9RXU?t=334

wow. I said that before too

https://youtu.be/lEiLKnK9RXU?t=367

I said exact same thing

I was saying that I also hate blinds like.. not that long ago

I mean I was talking about like.. 3 times

https://youtu.be/lEiLKnK9RXU?t=442

“blinds are stupid”

https://youtu.be/58omwDIzqkw?t=85

N.

https://youtu.be/58omwDIzqkw?t=429

https://youtu.be/58omwDIzqkw?t=530

https://youtu.be/58omwDIzqkw?t=828

xD

sky was clear today

it wasn’t clear in previous days.. but day is still really short.. so.. even though it’s.. like.. even though it wasn’t cloudy today.. there wasn’t much sun you know. so usually on not cloudy days days were warmer.. but today it’s kinda like usual. it’s not much warmer than on non cloudy day

because days are short and there’s not a lot of sun anyway.. so it doesn’t get much warmer when it’s not cloudy

usually on non cloudy days it was warmer

but not any more I guess

it’s still not that cold for me

in israel.. (the place where they speak hebrew, and where yaara and this woman who asks for donations live)

it must be warmer there.. on the ad this woman has.. red cheeks and.. she looks like there’s a lot of sun there and it’s hot there

and dry.. her hair look like yaara’s hair

https://youtu.be/dKPKtvrXEfM?t=288

her skin is also.. it’s really dry place. in israel

it’s easy to get dehydrated. it’s really dry. that’s why people wear clothes on entire body. so they don’t evaporate

days are very hot and nights are cold. because it’s really dry climate so the temperature gets cold very fast because it’s really dry. and water has high heat energy capacity, which means that it loses temperature very slowly

air with high humidity wouldn’t lose temperature as fast as dry air

if there’s no water then temperature would change fast

I think that it’s the easiest to learn from all the teachers she is the teacher that’s the easiest and fastest to learn language from all the teachers I’ve seen.. because she knows english very well

and sharon also hair look similar and face too

and I read that sharon is hebrew name

https://youtu.be/eNSVKtopR34?t=49

https://youtu.be/eNSVKtopR34?t=127

I wouldn’t even need a beer to cause accident.. it’s dangerous. driving is dangerous.

https://youtu.be/DbkeeZZnTgk

https://youtu.be/DbkeeZZnTgk?t=12

who doesn’t like..

the easiest teacher to learn/understand that I’ve seen so far

https://youtu.be/DXOZDZ5-mQM?t=20

https://youtu.be/Gq5h46sIEzM?t=14

they all look similar

https://youtu.be/g_wXxS6A9T4?t=10

egypt.. there’s like.. only like.. one language in a lot of countries around this desert climate. like.. I think that 90% of people speak arabic in these desert areas

but in bangladesh it’s a different language

although rumena looks a lot like the girl from jordan

who speaks arabic

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bangladesh

“bengali” is more like.. indian language

like hindi

but “religion” is 90% “islam” and only 8.5% “hinduism”

https://youtu.be/zdoB2TPqWxs

https://youtu.be/zdoB2TPqWxs?t=76

https://youtu.be/zdoB2TPqWxs?t=166

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zdoB2TPqWxs&lc=UgzngOLNMa5tiW73aJp4AaABAg

https://youtu.be/zdoB2TPqWxs?t=166

https://youtu.be/zdoB2TPqWxs?t=205

I’m gonna comment “I like the part when she’s saying “one more gay”“

https://youtu.be/9hlrgjIJMpo?t=31

now totally new level starts.. in platinum..

it’s gonna be a lot more difficult this time..

if I have million hours of free time and use it to play then I can maybe get higher

because some people have 2.5k kills on one legend..

I have like.. on all legends.. I have like.. 1.6k kills.. on main account

the hoe is like.. 4k kills.. also on just ONE legend..

and I have 1.6k in total on all the legends. and a little bit on 2nd account

so I though that this game is gonna be less time consuming.. but people just don’t have lives and play this game million hours a day

they don’t do anything else than playing this game.. they get even.. food pumped directly into their veins. (some of them)

so they don’t have to waste their time eating

https://youtu.be/9hlrgjIJMpo?t=5

I hit this bitch for 83 and he’s still chasing me..

I could have full killed him

https://youtu.be/9hlrgjIJMpo?t=2

doesn’t the gold sight have smaller dot??

I though that it’s not gonna use as much of my time..

but it’s just like the other game.

I mean.. people are just.. playing 24/7

and sacrifice their lives

https://youtu.be/u85NpwLXgJA?t=80

https://youtu.be/sEbsgZyLf94

and they still didn’t say anything about the ring damage..

https://apexlegends.gamepedia.com/The_Ring

wow.. it finally says..

under “patch notes history”

“ November 12, 2020 Ring 3 damage increased from 5% to 10%. Ring 4 and 5 damage increased from 10% to 20%.“

so it’s not as new change..

omg... so ring 3 is also impossible

so they changed ring damage back.. f*cking assholes

ring 3 is 10 damage so you can pop a medkit with full hp damn they messed this up

so my syringe strategy is no longer a working strategy

but ring 2 used to be 5%.. but I wish ring 3 at least wouldn’t be as deadly

I will have to be rotating fast with team to the ring

and maybe.. use.. like.. maybe sniper rifle or something..

https://youtu.be/shtceZ5wCdw

https://youtu.be/qNdGEtJDky8?t=38

wingman vs hemlok with 3x scope.. hemlok always wins

you gotta be really lucky to win against hemlock with wingman

but you move a lot faster but if you have cover then it’s very unlikely that you hit someone with hemlok

without cover it’s easier but with cover hemlok would win

https://youtu.be/qNdGEtJDky8?t=510

wtf

https://youtu.be/qNdGEtJDky8?t=536

lol this slide.

https://youtu.be/qNdGEtJDky8?t=562

https://youtu.be/WSMKeflrcAw?t=232

https://youtu.be/WSMKeflrcAw?t=264

https://www.twitch.tv/videos/806382680?t=0h12m19s

how low is she gonna drop after not playing as much

https://youtu.be/hBNHEPI5TT0

the title says “getting ready for winter”

https://youtu.be/nEv4EuGZ21Y

I wonder if she lied.

https://www.twitch.tv/videos/806382680?t=0h12m30s

she doesn’t look as bald as before

lets see how much these cards go for.. I added some ads to watch list.. and now they’re over.. well.. they didn’t go for as much as I wanted.. 

I mean.. no.. none of them got sold yet.. one had low price but didn’t get sold.. but my card is OC model with good cooling

and other 2 auctions are still not finished yet.. so we’ll see how much they go for. but nobody bought one card that was at quite low price

of course.. it was “broken” of course..

someone wanted to sell broken card for high price. that’s why it didn’t get sold.. I shouldn’t have added this to watch list at all

one card has no delivery option.. so also nobody wants to buy it..

one dude is selling similar card to mine.. but with 3 fans. mine has 2 fans.. but I think that the heatsink is the same as my card.. it’s just 1 more fan.. so it’s almost the same card.. and my card doesn’t get any hot at all.. it’s kinda.. same as my card.. and price. is.. not super high.. but it’s not much difference so my card should be just as good as this one

but my goal wasn’t super high too

this was kinda my goal but he’s gonna pay 10%.. so.. I don’t wanna pay that much.. so I wouldn’t sell it for this much at 10% cost

if he pays 10% then he gets.. more warranty from a site.. that a buyer won’t get cheated.. so buyer feels safer about buying stuff.. I mean.. like.. I don’t think it’s like.. doing anything if you pay 10% more.. it’s not doing anything.. so like.. but he’s selling with 10% so I would want to sell it for as much but without paying 10%

and this one is “a little bit” better.. it’s kinda the same card as mine.. 3 fans can also be a disadvantage.. because it may not fit in all cases

other people who sell this card ask a lot more so this card may sell fast.

I ask myself.. how much I would pay for this card..

I bought it cheaper.. and.. not prices are higher. but.. I take inflation into account.. 5% a year.. and.. like.. but like.. demand is high right now I guess... because it’s near christmass.. and new graphics card got released.. so other ones should get cheaper in theory

but demand is high before christmass I guess

lol this dude put.. 9.99 on the end.. xD

how much I would pay for this card.. I would buy it not on christmass.. because I couldn’t find cheap card before christmass..

https://www.tiktok.com/@emiru1/video/6803427746828602630

https://www.tiktok.com/foryou?lang=en#/@bonbibonkers/video/6685384804709436678

damn 700k followlers and 2 million folwers

this fridge has nicer sound. a lot nicer

and it’s like.. I think it just.. makes sound just.. for a lot shorter period of time and then it stops

https://www.tiktok.com/@bonbibonkers/video/6685384804709436678?lang=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@dragon.cosplays/video/6698959246563740933?lang=en

she looks like a characters in one game. broderlands??

https://youtu.be/9KufWWMUXMw?t=8

even better than in a game

trashlands.

netherlands

I wanna eat something before sleep..

bread and butter.. there’s something called a bread diet

https://youtu.be/XS4zojyuzvI

my plan is to buy a lot of tomatoes in cans

https://youtu.be/EnFM5dxFIm8?t=371

https://images.app.goo.gl/wa22R2rvpEMhQrep6

“NOBODY touches my teammates”

“my baby” - kraber

https://youtu.be/EnFM5dxFIm8?t=762

damn living fancy

https://youtu.be/EnFM5dxFIm8?t=934

it’s called cola in america

https://youtu.be/1mITYYdTsU0?t=468

https://youtu.be/1mITYYdTsU0?t=569

https://youtu.be/1mITYYdTsU0?t=577

wingman

https://youtu.be/1mITYYdTsU0?t=1048

her computer is a xenomorph

https://youtu.be/G-WNAMpnATw?t=137

https://youtu.be/hzj8pBpW1Us

“you gotta do what you gotta do”

https://youtu.be/hzj8pBpW1Us?t=27

https://youtu.be/hzj8pBpW1Us?t=46

I need to hit every shot this time

I will remember this 20 damage. 3rd ring is 10 damage..

why somebody from my squad always pushes first 1v3

why enemy squad never pushes 1v3 but my squad teammates always do that always

and then me and my other teammate go to save him and we get f*cked

omfg my teammates.. what a fucking joke

starting fight with one squad and then starting to fight 2nd squad.

and getting staying in between these 2 squads

fighting 2 squads again on the start. xD

oh. gold 4 in team this time. nice

I knew.. there’s no point of even playing with gold 4.. he died in in 1 second to some dude with g7 scout with double tap trigger. he literally died in 1 second

this gold 4 noob

4 g7 scout shots with double tap trigger

no. it was pathfinder..

it wasn’t crypto. crypto actually.. I mean.. not crypto but mirage.. mirage use this.. invisible ressing to get pathfinder up

but mirage landed on a place with 0 loot and I didn’t even have shield but thank god I had loba so I used ulti to get it but they already had purple shield on one dude..

they had like. 2 purple shields

we all had lvl 1

but mirage did almost no damage

what is g7 scout bullet speed

what the fuck are the people doing

what are they fucking doing what the fuck.. first this dude stands behind all the time and doesn’t wanna push with us then he starts to go solo 1v3

I have someone with 3k kills on one legend this time in team

ok this time we got third partied. welcome to platinum

maybe I should use a sniper rifle I don’t know

everyone with triple take

lol. I don’t understand these plays for real. what the fuck.. why are we leave ring and go in a tunnel to get gatekept.. what the fuck.. I don’t understand

their plan was literally to leave ring and get gate kept in a tunnel

I don’t understand these plays..

and I hate hemlok

hemlok versus triple take is still shit

and I have no idea where these people are.. like.. they are shooting from everywhere..

from every fucking side..

hemlok makes me so easy to hit with triple take.. because of the ads slow..

https://youtu.be/pM9heNqzYeM

lol another coaching

https://youtu.be/pM9heNqzYeM?t=92

xD bad coaching rating for that

https://www.twitch.tv/videos/806382680?t=0h12m35s

oh right. who looks indian

[english-y]

Final Draft

Probably...

Sofhia J. Jaime

J. Doyle

ENGL 1302-70L

2020/09/27

Fan Fiction Writing

     ‘FanFiction’ is defined to be, “Fiction written by a fan of, and featuring characters from, particular TV series, movie, etc.” according to the Oxford languages website while true, fanfiction is much more than that. Fanfiction is the creation of alternate universes, plots, characters, characterizations, and many other aspects of popular books, shows, movies, etc.  these authors rewrite stories or continue them after their final conclusion. With that comes a lot of work, considering the high demand for this type of media. Websites such as AOS, Tumblr, WattPad, FanFiction.net, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and a plethora of other pages that thrive from this form of entertainment. Authors of these works often gain a massive following on their social media as the popularity for this medium grows. Sometimes the final writings are more complex than its original, currently the longest fanfiction in existence have 4,102,217 words and 220 chapter which are still being regularly updated. Yet, most often fan fiction is disregarded and frowned upon by the majority of readers(!). Fanfiction carries a prejudice that unfortunately discredits the author and the work as a whole. Commonly, it is believed to be the work of desperate teens from the ages 13+ who over romanticize book characters, movie characters or people in the public eye. Though this essay I want to explore the reality of this type of writing and how its misrepresentation causes it to be devalued at surface level even though this writing has shown bountiful benefits to aspiring authors.

     In Not All Those Who Wonder are Lost by Cecilia Aragon she found that most authors who write fanfiction felt similarly “Many of the authors we interviewed admitted they started off as poor writers but said they’d improved enough to consider writing professionally.” Three of the authors that I had interviewed planned on authoring their own novels and all three of them have their stories already in the making. In fact, Admin Kim of RightSockJin has her story already written but as a fanfiction she plans on editing it to form it into a cohesive novel of which she would like to publish. Also, Shannon of Kpopfanfictiontrash she is working on her young adult novel with hopes to publish soon.

     “The most recent report from the National Assessment of Educational Progress indicated that 73% of US students in grades 8 and 12 lack proficiency in writing.” Maybe instead of overlooking medium we could use it to help students work on their writing, show them how to develop plot by dissecting a prewritten story and writing it in their own likeness. We could even help students develop a writing style by having them mimic the style of an established author. There is so much we can do to help interest students and interest them in writing but the masses refuse to look passed the surface of fanfiction reading and writing.

      Recently, my friends and I have started a blog where we upload our personal writing. From what I have noticed, my writing has matured substantially. My characterization, vocabulary, problem solving skills, and many other aspects of this creative medium have grown to something I am prouder to show. Even though I do not plan to pursue a career in writing this has given me to confidence I need for general writing, for schoolwork and for jobs I hope to obtain in the future. Growing up I never enjoyed reading or writing, I was insecure about my abilities because I grew up bilingual, which caused some teachers to treat me unfairly  The friends who are writing alongside me do plan on publishing novels, and through this type of writing I have noticed that they were able to polish their skills and develop a writing style. Though, I have noticed that they have not been able to feely talk about their writing because people do not take their writing seriously because it is fanfiction.

     I was able to conduct a survey asking people about their opinions concerning fanfiction. From what I have gathered most people are turned off by what they perceive fanfiction to be.

      Out of all of the people who have taken the survey the majority did enjoy reading. Though I know reading does not necessarily mean reading books, there is a wide variety of writings that are accessible to consumers The most popular types of readings were Book and novels and comics. Which I found interesting considering the fact that those works are typically taken and used as inspiration of fanfiction. Still, most of the people who took the survey have not read and do not want to read fanfiction.

     Seventy percent of the group had not read any fanfiction and had given the media a negative connotation without actually having read though any of the works. When asked about what they had hears about the writings a lot of the times they expressed hearing “not a lot of appropriate things” someone even called it “cringe” and just decided they did not want to give fanfiction a chance.

     My goal is to show the reality of fanfiction to readers and authors who overlook these works of fiction because they bring more benefit to those who consume and create these. I was able to ask a few more established authors on Tumblr, for their background and their opinion of the stigma surrounding this media, their personal opinion, and a little information regarding their positionality. On my Tumblr I direct messages a few of my favorite writers out of the twenty I ask only five answered. Even though the turnout was not the best I was still able to get some really good insight from authors of different backgrounds. I was able to talk to was Shanna of Kpopfanfictiontrash, Sol of jamaisjoons, Traci of cupofteaguk, Admin Kim,  Admin Calico Admin AdMin from rightsockjin and lasty Athena from GoddessAthean on Wattpad.

      First I was able to talk to Shanna from Kpopfanfictiontrash (late 20’s) and comes a Caucasian background. She has been writing for around six years and at the moment she works as a businesswoman. Soon after I talked to Sol admin of the Tumblr jamaisjoons (22yrs) writer that comes from an Indian background, she has been writing for around seven years, but she is currently working as an accountant. I was also able to get in contact with Traci (23yrs) Asian-American fanfiction author with around ten years of experience who writes on the cupofteaguk tumblr blog, she is currently studying Communications in college. Lastly, I got to talk to all of the three writers in the Rightsockjin blog. Admin Kim who is a twenty-one and working as a teacher with a Hispanic/Mexican background, she has been writing for 12 years and lastly Admin Calico (19), who is a full time student working on an English Major who also is from a Hispanic/Mexican background who has had over ten years and Admin AdMin(19) who is a Computer Science major who had been writing for seven years. Lastly, I was able to talk to Athena (19) a Hispanic who writes under the AthenaGodess pseudonym who is also a Computer Science major and has been writing for around four years.

     I was able to have talk to all of the authors and get their individual opinions of their work, the writings they’ve read, and the perspective about this creative medium. I wanted to know that their work actually meant to them. Traci expressed that she “really [enjoys] writing fan fiction because it’s a form of expression...”. More than fifty percent of the authors mentioned self-expression, this medium is an easy to show the inner turmoil that in the mind of the author. Often, these writers show more vulnerable and intimate part of themselves. Personally, I love to write about my ideal relationship because I have had some really terrible experiences with relationships. Aside from using this as a way to vent her creativity it has helped her with her academic writing. “Allowing myself to write on a daily basis also helps hone in on my writing skills, which can be applied to professional situations or school assignments.”

     I also asked about their opinion on the stereotypes and stigma surrounding fanfiction and how it affects them. Shana gave me an interesting perspective, “I think most stereotypes are rooted in a general lack of understanding. I do write fanfiction based off a musical artist, so my male lead character may contain some of their features and personality traits. I don’t necessarily have to create these aspects myself. Everything else I do. The plot of the story. The side characters and romantic interests. The setting, the world-building. The dialogue and description and everything in between – that exists nowhere but in my own mind. I would also say there’s an equal, but different challenge to writing based off something which already exists. It requires greater research, perception and understanding than simply creating something out of thin air.” Which correlated from my previous research, most people who have not even read fanfiction just refuse to even look into the medium. When I asked specifically about the stigma Sol stated “There [is] an assumption that most fanfic writers are young 12-16-year-olds and while that’s true sometimes, there’s actually a higher percentage of authors who are 18+, especially ranging from 22-30.” Which while there may be young authors the majority according to my studies range higher than eighteen years of age.

     In my own experience and research, I found that authors find solace in their writing. Sometimes these writers come from some unfortunate situations which cause them to look for succor, so they write out their ideal life in these fictions. I went through a trauma with my first boyfriend which caused me to fall into a depression. I began to journal, which lead me to write out scenarios that made me feel better. Even though my writing was not explicitly fanfiction this bit of writing led me to create a fanfiction blog. This, in a way, allowed me to rehabilitate myself out of my slump and get myself to get back to a more positive form of thinking, my writing gave me hope where I before I saw none. Alongside me psyche my writing improved significantly. I started to get better grades in my AP English classes during high school, then my writing for my college classes became something I enjoyed. A subject that I once dreaded became something I looked forward to doing.

     This form of media seems to get less credit than it is worth but in reality, these works can be equally, and sometimes more intricate than their original works. Unfortunately, because it was not written by a credible source the writing is disregarded. Instead of sending negativity to these aspiring authors we should encourage their development with positive engagement and constructive criticism, so they feel encouraged to supplying their audience with their work and so they can continue to develop their skill and style.

Works Cited

Aragon, Cecilia. “Not All Those Who Wonder Are Lost.” MIT Technology Review, vol. 123, no. 1, Jan. 2020, pp. 44–47. EBSCOhost, search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&AuthType=ip,shib&db=a9h&AN=140364555&site=ehost-live.

 @rightsockjin​ @kpopfanfictrash​ @cupofteaguk​ @jamaisjoons​

[fortheloveofluxuryxo]

How to Navigate the World of Online ESL

Written by Gina Gainous

The purpose of this article is to share detailed information about the most popular online ESL companies, along with some of my personal experiences and anecdotes from other teachers I’ve come across in Facebooks groups and teaching blogs. Before we get started, I’ll give a small self introduction. I’m a biracial woman from the United States with a Bachelor’s Degree in English as a Second Language Education (K-12) and my TESOL certificate. I worked in various schools in my hometown and abroad for the first two years of my career. Nowadays, I work 100% remotely for a company called Liulishuo based in Beijing, China. To begin, I’ll cover some of the basics.

Peak Hours If the company is based in China, they will expect you to work peak hours:

6-9 PM Monday through Friday, Beijing Standard Time

9AM-10PM Saturday and Sunday, Beijing Standard Time

Depending on where you reside, this might mean working early mornings. Currently, I reside on the west coast, and I typically teach from 5AM-8AM on weekdays. Make sure to calculate the time difference before applying. These hours aren’t for everyone, especially if you’re not a morning person. Companies based outside of China will offer afternoon and evening classes, but since they’re smaller you may not get that many bookings. The pay is usually lower as well.

Students Children: Most companies you’ll come across only offer classes with children, who are usually between the ages of 5-14. You may have the option of only teaching older children in middle and high school, but if you’re open to younger students you’ll have many more options. Adults: Some companies offer adult classes, if you’re not interested in teaching children. However, the pay is usually lower.

Salary Scale Base pay: This is the rate of pay you’re guaranteed. Most Chinese companies start their base pay between $15-$18. Companies located in other countries, like Russia or Spain, will have a much lower base pay (between $9-13 per hour) and usually won’t offer any bonus pay. Bonus pay: This is what you’ll see in most advertisements - “Up to $22.00 per hour!” - and depends on a number of factors. Some companies will give you a booking bonus or an attendance bonus. For example, if you teach 100 or so more classes a month, they’ll pay you an additional $2.00 per hour. They may also pay a $2.00 bonus if you open slots during peak hours. So if your base pay is $18, adding the extra $4 will bring your total pay to $22.00/hour. Buyout pay: Very few companies offer this pay structure, but if you’re lucky you might be able to score a contract. Basically, the company will pay you just for keeping your slots open, even if they aren’t booked. Sometimes it’s just a portion, sometimes it’s the whole salary. However, this usually means base pay is fairly low and they may not offer additional bonus pay. In the past, Gogo Kid and DaDaABC used to offer this as a perk, but to my knowledge they changed their contracts last year. Current teachers have confirmed this in 2020.

Payment Methods Bank transfer: This is the method I recommend the most, if the company provides it as an option. There are less fees with bank transfer and they are deposited directly into your account on payday. Paypal: The most popular method of payment. Usually involves both a conversion fee and an instant transfer fee, which add up after a while.

Class Types: Private classes (1 to 1): Teachers instruct one student. These are usually 25 minutes long. Some companies, such as SayABC, have 40 or 50 minute long classes. Small group classes (between 3-4 students): Teachers instruct a small group of students. Again, these classes are usually 25 minutes long. Larger group classes (6 or more students): Some companies offer larger group classes. In this case, they’ll expect you to stand up and will project your webcam in a classroom. These classes usually require a teacher’s assistant who is actually present in the room to help with classroom management.

Important things to note: 1. A lot of companies will provide the lessons for you, but they’ll expect you to have your own class materials. Things like whiteboards, markers, letter cut outs, puppets, dolls, toys, models, and more. Keep in mind, teachers can only write off $100 from their taxes if they pay for materials out of pocket, so be careful of your budget. 2. A revolving door is oftentimes a red flag. If you notice that a specific company is always hiring or posting ads, that’s not a good sign. It either means they have too many teachers and not enough students so booking slots stay empty, or that their teachers are constantly quitting. Which leads me to my next point... 3. Many online teachers have turned to recruiting. As recruiters, their companies will pay them a bonus based on how many people were hired after using their affiliate link to apply, and if those applicants teach enough classes. They are responsible for helping their recruits through the interview process, giving them advice for how to pass the assessments, and getting them familiar with the software. However, be wary of this because some people who have signed up via recruiter link have reported their mentors disappearing soon afterwards. This is not meant to be accusatory, but it is a common occurrence as observed on many Facebook Online ESL Teaching groups. 4. Remember, if the offer sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Get all the details, in words you can understand, before signing the contract and making the commitment. 5. Most companies only hire what they consider to be “Native English Speakers”. These are people who hold a passport from the following countries: The United States, The UK, Ireland, Canada, Australia, New Zealand [and sometimes South Africa]. This means that even if you speak English perfectly and have the right credentials, if your passport is from a country not listed above then you are considered a Non-Native English Speaker. There are some companies that hire NNES, but they will offer a significantly lower base pay. (Note: many of the bigger companies only hire people from the United States or Canada. A list of companies that hire Non-Native English Speakers can be found at the end of this article.) 6. Most companies only hire those with Bachelor Degrees. It’s preferred that your degree relates to Education or Child Development, but most of the time they’ll accept anything. You may also need a TEFL or TESOL certificate as well, along with some teaching experience. You can sign up for a short course on Groupon. A few of them cost less than $10. (There are some companies that hire without a degree, which are listed at the end of this article.) 7. You are considered an Independent Contractor, NOT an employee. You do not have the same protections you might be used to at a brick and mortar job. This means that these companies can fire you for any reason, or without a reason, at any time. On the other hand, this also means you can also quit for any reason at any time. However, keep in mind that many companies have been known to withhold the final paycheck if this occurs, and there’s not much you can do about it since they’re based in another country and don’t adhere to your country’s laws. It’s best not to burn bridges. 8. A lot of the bigger and popular online ESL companies are geared towards young students between the ages of 5-14 years old. They’ll want to see high energy, the use of props, and general silliness, hence why online educators have coined the term “edutainer”. You must ask yourself if your personality fits this kind of job, because they will expect you to perform in this way during your interview and also in your classes.

Companies to avoid (and why): VIPKid - suspected of data mining, new teachers wait months before getting regular bookings, mixed success with POC teachers, “edutainers” Likeshuo - racist policies, has been seen advertising for white teachers only Acadsoc - low base pay, non-communicative staff, low quality lesson plans iTutorGroup/51Talk - teachers are rated by students and if they get one low rating for a class they can be fired, unresponsive IT staff, inflexible time off policy, harsh cancellation policy Magic Ears - long training process, slow bookings for new teachers, you MUST teach in their style or else you won’t get bookings

Companies I’ve worked for and liked: Liulishuo - communicative staff, offer professional development, offer buyout schedule, hiring freezes, good quality lesson plans, quick and reliable payment each month, responsive IT team Golden Voice English - high quality lesson plans, good students, communicative staff, quick and reliable payment each month, responsive IT team

Companies I’ve worked for and didn’t like: Micro Language - late pay, wouldn’t put black people/POC in their new program despite being top tutors, poor quality lessons with grammar and spelling errors, non-communicative staff, made multiple changes to teaching contracts without input from teachers DaDaABC - offered low base pay, unfair time off policy, removed many of the perks from their new contracts Cambly - difficult students, women often experience sexual harassment from male students, POC teachers have reported racial microaggressions from students, no structured format, pay is low, lots of student no shows or last minute cancellations with no penalty for students

Companies that only hire from The United States/Canada/UK: QKids (and you MUST be based in The US or Canada) Golden Voice English VIPKids English First (US/UK) OpenEnglish

Companies that hire WITHOUT a degree: Magic Ears Cambly Palfish OpenEnglish LatinHire Preply Verbling Learnship Acadsoc SkimaTalk Italki Learnlight 31ABC (but they require teaching experience)

Companies that hire Non-Native English Speakers: Preply Voxy (must have some college credits) Learnship Yiyi English LatinHire

Companies that offer adult-only classes: Huajing Liulishuo English First Learnlight Italki Cambly OpenEnglish

To wrap things up, I’ll share a few more points to look out for in your job search. GREEN FLAGS - They implement hiring freezes so they don’t overhire teachers. Offers professional development opportunities. Quick responses from IT. Quick responses from HR. RED FLAGS - Spam-like advertisements. Lots of recruiter links on Facebook posts or other websites. I hope this guide helps you find the perfect position! ~~~~~

Gina Gainous is a state licensed ESL teacher that hails from the midwestern United States. She can be reached for further questions or inquiries at ginagainous@gmail.com.

[jkarma]

First = Last

Once there was a boy named Jeff, he was a smart kid who was really into learning and is fascinated by both the genres of math and science. In his elementary life, he was not a bad student, usually in the top 10 of the class if not in the top 5.  But there was a slight problem. He wasn’t having the best time since he was always being bullied verbally. This never got into him much and he thought that elementary was going to be the hardest thing ever, but this all changed when high school came along.

6-8-2016 

On the first day of class, Jeff felt excited because he knew that elementary was over and this is going to be a new step in life. And so it is. It’s like he was in a new school or something, and everything seemed new. Half of his classmates were either from the other sections or were from other schools, his teachers were all new and even the lessons are new! So the day went on, the English class was over and the Chinese class was coming. He wasn’t really a big fan of Chinese since he isn’t as good at it compared to English, but nonetheless he usually still gets to the top 10 of the class which is decent for him. But the one thing that really changed his life forever was the moment when he met a girl in Chinese class. He thought it was cool at first but eventually learned how “infatuation” works. Her name was Melanie. He found out that two to three other boys liked her too but this wasn’t a big issue for him at that point since he thought that education was still more important than “infatuation”.  A few months passed by, and he’s starting to like this girl even more! But they don’t talk much because they have totally different lives and he couldn’t tell anyone about it since he was scared and because his best friend likes her too. So he kept it for himself.  But not until it came to a point where he told Melanie exactly what he felt about her and nothing much really changed after that. He tried to talk to her a little more and even wrote letters to her, but then again, “We’re still too young, and education must be focused first.” He said. So he started to forget about her and focused on his studies like before.

3-10-2017

The 4th grading periodical examination is just around the corner and one evening, Jeff was studying Filipino. One of his hatest subjects. “Why don’t I check my Facebook for a moment, I’m sure it's not gonna take long,” he said. While scrolling on Facebook, Jeff saw a girl named Sarah who has more than 100 mutual friends. He then asked one of his friends about who this girl was, and his friend said that Sarah is one of their batchmates and had just transferred to their school this year. I sent her a friend request in the hopes of meeting a new friend, and with no surprise, she accepted it. They started talking in messenger and slowly became friends. Summer went on and they talked all day every day and they started to know way more about each other and started to become close friends. 

4-15-2017

It’s the middle of summer and things started to become boring. Fortunately for Jeff, Sarah was there to keep him company. Day and night they would chat and on this exact day, Jeff fell for her. But again, he was too shy to tell anybody so he initially kept it for himself. They kept talking and even became best friends at one point even though they have not met each other in person yet. Could this be it?

6-10-2017 

School is just 3 days away and Jeff is excited to meet his new teachers and maybe even new classmates and friends, but one thing he really was up about was to finally talk and meet Sarah for the first time. He even asked Sarah if they could like to talk sometime or hangout or something. I mean, he does like Sarah so why not become close to her personally? So he kept on encouraging himself to not miss out on this opportunity but...

6-13-2017

It’s the first day of class. Oh man was he excited for this day. “Time to be who I really am!” said Jeff. The first few subjects were great for Jeff, lunch was coming and he wanted to somehow talk and meet Sarah in person but it came to a point where he was too shy to even approach her. So this rendezvous of theirs didn’t push through and remained like that until around the third grading. But this didn’t affect him as much because school was still pretty busy. So when he started to gain some confidence, he asked Sarah if they could meet up somewhere and he thought that the library was the best place since they both liked books, and so they did meet the following day. It was kind of awkward as expected but it wasn’t the end of the world for Jeff, in fact, it was just the beginning.

12-10-2017

At this point, Jeff and Sarah were best friends but still don't really talk much in person. And a great opportunity was up ahead! It’s gonna be Christmas soon and of course, there was an upcoming Christmas party in school. Jeff wanted to give something to Sarah as an appreciation gift for always being there for him. He asked her what gift she would want, and she obviously denied that she wanted something and said that anything would be fine. At first, Jeff had no idea what to give to Sarah. He asked for help from friends and all, but he had no luck. After a few days, he thought of something that she might like and use, a watch.

12-15-2017 

The Christmas party went on, and Jeff had so much fun. Afterward, Sarah and her friends went out to hang out with one another. Jeff thought of this as another opportunity to get closer to Sarah in person, and so he went with them. Jeff’s best friend was also there so it wasn’t really a problem for Jeff to fit in. They went to a mall and did all these crazy things such as karaoke singing in Timezone. Before the day ended, Jeff noticed that Sarah wasn’t going with the others and instead will be going home with her family, Jeff then took that opportunity to at least try to get a picture with Sarah whilst it’s still possible. So they did take a picture and Jeff was as happy as he can be, but he almost forgot one thing.

1-4-2018

Christmas break was done and a lot of things happened the past 2 weeks. Well, in messenger, Jeff and Sarah still talked pretty much every day and all that stuff but they were starting to lose touch. “But why tho?”, asked Jeff and he did some investigation. After a while, he found out about this dude named Charles who likes Sarah too! Charles and Jeff were decent friends because they went to the same tutor the year before. “What a coincidence?” said Jeff. So he decided to give this Charles a chance to prove himself to Sarah because she promised Jeff that she would never like Charles back and that they would not end up being together. Days passed by and both of them became closer and closer, which scared Jeff a little bit. He had very supportive friends who stood by his side when he needed it, and this helped him a lot especially when he feels like a loser because of what is happening around him.

1-15-18

It’s Sarah’s birthday, and Jeff wouldn’t want to miss the chance of proving to her that he cares about her. He not only planned to make her a video, and give her a gift, but he also planned on giving her letters from the entire batch. As he was about to give the gift to Sarah, something tragic happened. He lost the P1,000 gift card from H&M that he was supposed to give Sarah, and it was nowhere to be found. He explained everything to Sarah and she said that it was okay.

1-31-18

At this point, Jeff and Sarah were still friends. But one day, Charles had authority over Sarah’s Facebook account and used it to keep her away from Jeff. How? By blocking Jeff in her account. Pretty smart, but it definitely was not good news for Jeff. Even though he knew that Sarah would never want him to be her boyfriend, he still wanted her to be his friend, his best friend.  Because of this, he was devastated. But after a while, he thought that maybe she might still unblock him sooner or later. Day after day, week after week, month after month, and still nothing. He started to forget about her because of this, and so blocking Jeff from her life might not actually be that bad after all.

5-14-18

Remember Melanie? Well, she was one of the main people who helped Jeff forget about Sarah and move on. Even though she knew that he once liked him, he still treated him as one of her best friends. At this point, Jeff has fully moved on from Sarah and just went on with life, but there was something missing. Jeff and Melanie continued to talk in messenger and got closer and closer. Eventually, he thought “This was the girl whom I liked before, why don’t I pursue this and maybe, just maybe, even get her heart?” He then thought “But Melanie isn’t allowed to have a boyfriend yet. Oh gosh, what am I thinking?! This will just hurt me, and I’ll be the one who’s going to be disappointed again.” He then stopped thinking about this and focused on his studies once again.

3-8-22

It’s their Senior High School graduation and all the effort that he had done all paid off. Jeff was the valedictorian of their batch and received numerous medals and awards all throughout. “If there was one award that I had missed, it would definitely be the award for love. But I guess it’s one of the reasons why I’m here right now so I might as well miss it and try again next time. This is just the first few steps in life, and there’s a lot more to go.” He said. After graduation, he approached Melanie and said something to her. This is how their conversation went.

Jeff: “Hey, Melanie. I can’t believe it’s graduation already ahhhhh!”

Melanie: “Yep, haha. Time really passes by so quickly.”

Jeff: “What are your plans after this graduation?”

Melanie: “Hmm, I dunno... Probably go to college? Hahaha.”

Jeff: “True. Haha. Remember the time when you said that because of a promise, you weren’t allowed to have a boyfriend until you graduate Senior High School?”

Melanie: “Yeah why?”

Jeff: “Well uhm, since we have already graduated, would you like to go out with me?”

Melanie: “Wait, what?”

Jeff: “Yeah ‘cause why not? Haha. You’re a very special girl and I just want you to be the girl whom I spend the rest of my life with.”

Melanie: “Thanks, but I don’t know.”

Jeff: “Come on Mel, we have known each other for probably 6 plus years now, haha, and I wouldn’t want to miss this chance because I don’t know if I’ll have the chance to ever meet you again. I like you.”

Melanie: “Uhm... I’m sorry Jeff, but I don’t think this is going to work out because I don’t really want to mess with your already “great” life. I’m just an ordinary girl, and I believe you deserve someone better than me. I’m not saying no but I’m doing this for you.”

Jeff: “Mel, don’t say that. You’re a wonderful and amazing girl. I don’t care what others think about you. All I know is that I like you because you’re you and nothing can change that.”

Jeff hugged Melanie for the first time and Melanie quietly said: “You’re the coolest person I’ve ever met and I would be more than willing to be with you.”

- Conrad

[angeltriestoblog]

I figured out what I want to do with my life! And made a vision board!

It came to me in a flash, really. One minute, I was watching a handpainted narration of the life and death of one of the greatest painters of all time, and next thing you know, I've abandoned it completely and started furiously typing away at my laptop about what I envisioned myself to be in five years' time. And I know I've had my fair share of false alarms in life: I thought I had what it takes to be a lawyer after seeing Legally Blonde for the first time while on my way to a school field trip, and seriously considered pursuing a career as a fashion blogger or MTV VJ because I was kind of fed up with school.

But this one just makes sense. Advising and assisting clients in producing content, collaterals, and campaigns according to their business objectives and based on collected data! It marries my love for writing, my knack for snooping around (the academic term is research!), and the specialty in technology and management my university ensures I'll have at the end of my four-year degree. i have yet to see how it’ll allow me to give back to society since that’s also a factor I want to consider in looking for a dream job but I’ll make it work. I found it hard to sleep that night, thanks to this nerdy, giddy kind of adrenaline rush I had. I broke down this big idea into smaller and smaller action steps until all I had left was a refined list of ideas and intentions, and a splitting headache.

I needed to make sure I was constantly reminded of their existence so all my choices and decisions would serve as a step closer to reaching all of them. So I caved in to the wishes of the "law of attraction" side of the Internet, and created my very own vision board! Simply put, this act of visualization is a powerful technique that can be used to manifest desires and reach goals. Our subconscious minds mainly recognize symbols and images: by merely looking at our vision boards everyday, subliminal messages are being sent to our brains, which will encourage them to work tirelessly to achieve the statements we are feeding to them. I can't find any explanation for this that's less abstract but since many people seem to swear on it and I have a lot of free time and printer ink, I figured why not, right?

It was convenient that I had this small corkboard from Daiso already stuck to one corner of my bedroom wall with several layers of double-sided tape. It used to be a year-long calendar of birthdays but I realized that I've never referred to it and often have to rely on either Facebook reminders or stock knowledge--there is no in between. All I had to do was to look at my list of goals, and compile photos that correspond to each of them, cut them up and arrange them in an aesthetically pleasing manner. You'll see below that I lacked the stereotypical luxury car and beachfront mansion with a walk-in closet and that's because I decided to focus on my goals for the next five years so it looks even a little bit more achievable.  

Here's the finished product, along with explanations for each picture, to make this how-to more personal and to also hold myself accountable.

 Make my girl Jenna Rink and everybody at Poise proud by writing for a magazine | I had listed a specific one at the time, and if you follow me on Twitter and Instagram, you already know what it is and how this endeavor turned out - but on this blog, I'll shroud it in a little cloud of mystery for now and talk about it more in a future post. I'm very happy producing content for this space of mine and have no intention of stopping any time soon. But at the same time I know that I'd be missing out if I didn't take the chance to be part of a community that leads me to like-minded individuals, allows me to grow even more in my craft, and "gives creators a space to speak their minds and push the limits of their artistry, without imposing any restrictions or expectations", as I stated in my application form.

 Be active in three organizations next school year | (I had to blur one of them out because I'm not a member yet and I don't want to jinx it.) I know it's bold of me to assume that we'll be returning to school any time soon, but if we are ever lucky enough, I want to outdo myself when it comes to the orgs I'm a part of. I have been a good follower throughout my first two years of college but now I believe it's my time to try my hand at leading a group of people and being more involved in the conceptualization and execution of projects.

 Go on a trip to Europe | Not even just a specific group of countries anymore (I used to be a France, Italy, Spain supremacist)--I mean the entire continent! (But then again, with its rich history and culture, picturesque tourist spots, diverse cuisines... even the sheer adrenaline rush that comes with being in a land completely different from the one you come from, how could anyone not want to go?

 and 12. Get the job of my dreams | I actually nicked these photos from the website of a cooperative I want to work for once I graduate from college. I know that I can't plan out the rest of my career trajectory as early as now: things are bound to change at some point, but I hope that I stay in a field that combines creativity and business strategy to craft campaigns, create meaningful content, and market solutions to brands.

 Expand my network | I acknowledge how knowing people who know people who know people can open windows of opportunities that I wouldn't have been able to have anywhere else. But I also look forward to building genuine connections with people from all sorts of industries. Talking to the same circle of friends can sometimes feel like you're trapped in an echo chamber: there is certainly much to learn from others' viewpoints.

 Volunteer to teach kids | I don't think the written word could have changed my life as much as it did, had it not been for the presence of English teachers who believed in the power of the language to shape the minds of the youth. I guess this is just me trying to give back and help the next generation express their ideas and bring them to life by channeling my inner John Keating.

 Maintain a clean workspace that is conducive to productivity | Especially during these days, I spend a solid 18 out of 24 hours sat at my desk, trying my best to make magic happen. It's very important that I keep it a constant and active source of inspiration, free from any distractions, and at the right level of comfort. Although it's not as minimalist as I hoped it would be and my table is about an inch too high for my liking, I'm still pretty satisfied!

 Document memories consistently, be it through a physical or online journal | Speaking of clearing out my room, I recently found around 20 notebooks I had filled up over the years. Though maintaining them must have been such a hassle especially as I got older and reading through them was a distraction from completing the task at hand, I am thankful I painstakingly chronicled everything going on in my life and kept them in good condition. Seeing the goals I had set for myself all those years ago and how I achieved most of them without making a conscious effort has inspired me to do my older self a favor by putting in the work now so she can reap the rewards. (While I'm on this note, can anyone recommend a good app for journaling? I keep all my current entries in my Mac's Notes app because even though I am more of an analog person, I seemed to have lost the patience and persistence required to keep a physical journal. But at the same time, I'm scared of my laptop suddenly cr*shing and wiping out everything I had stored)

 Stay focused on my work always | I didn't know how to show this without having to spell it out in words so I Photoshopped my face onto the head of a woman working in a cafe because those who study in coffee shops along Katip always look like they're getting stuff done.

 Keep learning about the world even when I'm outside of the classroom | And this is not limited to frequenting the nearby museum, although that does sound like a great idea right now. This could also mean attending seminars, workshops, and talks, buying books and binge-watching documentaries or YouTube videos about a topic that I find interesting, engaging in discourse with someone (plus points if they have a different viewpoint!)

 Write my own book | Before I even found out that humans were destined to pick a career and work until they died, I already knew that I wanted to spend my days as a writer. Specifically, I wanted to see my name on the cover of a book: By Angel Martinez. (Please refer to the 4:32 of this video and look at how far this dream actually goes back.) But once I realized that I wanted to enter the world of business, I thought I would have to give this up altogether. Thankfully, I now know that one's ability to get published is not reliant on their career--I mean, even beauty gurus get book deals these days. I'm not really sure what it's going to be about but I'd honestly be down for anything: even if it's just a compilation of my best entries on this blog.

13. Go all out when I take myself on self-care dates | I'm talking about picnics at the beach, with a basket full of fruits, a posh looking hat, and a good piece of classic literature! Or fancy dinners for one complete with as many glasses of red wine as I can down! People watching at Downtown Disneyland like my paternal grandmother in hand, with a plastic bag of souvenirs on one hand and a cream cheese pretzel on the other! (The possibilities are endless and I'm already mapping most of them out.)

14. Be financially stable enough to re-enact that one scene in Pretty Woman where Vivian Ward struts down the streets of Beverly Hills in a chic white dress and black hat, an endless number of shopping bags in tow | The part where I humiliate a sales lady who snubbed me the day before because she didn't think I could afford what she was selling by saying, "You work on commission, right? That's right. Big mistake, big, huge." is entirely optional.

I also included some two inspirational sayings that were originally laptop wallpapers from The Everygirl. I feel like they perfectly sum up the attitude I want to have as I forge my own path and accomplish everything I have set out for myself. If I was somehow able to convince you that this activity serves as the perfect springboard for all your dreams and aspirations, here are a couple of tips that could hopefully help you make yours!

Be ready for some intense introspection | Though it may look like a simple arts and crafts activity at the surface, making an effective vision board simply cannot be achieved if you're not willing to do some much needed reflection and watch it balloon into a full-on existential crisis. Identify which areas of your life are most important to you and how you would like to see them evolve over a period of time.

Specificity is key | The trick is to make your goals as concrete as possible, then translate them into visual elements. I know some people who wanted to get into particular universities, who have Photoshopped their names onto acceptance letters and pinned those to their corkboards. As stupid as that may sound in retrospect, I reckon it's an elaborate way of claiming something that's right within your reach.

Design it any way you want | Don't feel pressured to make it look like it's worthy to be on someone else's Pinterest because that's exactly how you lose sight of why you're doing it in the first place. The only person your final output has to resonate with is you.

Don't get discouraged | Although a vision board can attract positive energy and manifest your intentions to the universe, one thing it isn't capable of doing is granting your wishes in an instant. Don't be upset if what you have cut out and stuck on has yet to happen: I truly believe in the saying that the more you look for something, the more it seems to avoid you. Instead, continue to work hard and focus on the progress that you have already made.

Have you made a vision board of your own already? How has it turned out, and how many of the things you had put up have come true? I know you may be a complete stranger from the other side of the world but I'd be happy to hear from you anyway! Wishing you love and light always, especially during trying times such as this. Wash your hands, pray for our frontliners, and check your privilege!

[rigelmejo]

i really do mean this, if you’re a native english speaker and you’re the type to try being a polyglot, or you just would like to learn multiple languages, and ESPECIALLY if French is a language you want to learn:

it really IS one of the easier ‘commonly studied’ languages for a native english speaker to learn. (Theoretically, Spanish is too, so you may consider that instead if it’s the language you really want to learn).

A couple years ago, I took a french class in college. I took it because in high school I’d tried to take classes and/or study the following languages independently: Spanish (1 class, learned nothing), German (2 years of classes, learned some verbs and standard conjugations, basically learned A1 kind of stuff), Chinese (1 year learning the basics and the teacher was great but I promptly forgot almost all of it), Japanese (independent study, I learned the kana and some simple words). I basically learned nothing significant - not enough to USE any of the languages in the ways I wanted to even minimally use them. I figured I was bad at learning languages. 

So in college, I picked a french class to explore 2 things: 1. To see if I could even learn a language at all, by trying again with a new language I had absolutely zero experience with. 2. Because I liked the idea of studying languages, and wanted to see if I got to choose to study it on purpose if I’d do better (compared to many college classes I was required to take and hated, compared to language classes being required therefore ‘disliked’ by me in high school).

So mainly, I picked French because I had no experience studying it and thought it would be a good test of if I could learn anything substantial. I had some reasons for learning French, but none really motivated me: I figured since I live by Canada French might be useful, I figured if I ever work for the UN I could use French as one of my languages for it. So basically, the usual ‘not passionate’ reasons. 

Now I do actually think passion helped me to actually learn French. So I encourage you, whatever language you are studying, to find something in that language or to do with that language that drives you and makes you passionately CARE. For me, I found a couple books. I was in a thrift store, and found 2 French graded readers from the 1930s. One was a French history book, and I found it fascinating that it was how French people from the 1930s viewed their culture and history. The other book contained letters from a 19 year old french schoolteacher as her life was more and more effected by world war 2 ramping up and then eventually occurring and changing her life. I am very interested in history, and I am even MORE personally interested in how specific people view their positions within their own perspectives. Because every person’s perspective is different - how a French person from the 1930s views their country is different than how a French person in 2020 probably would, and how we see WW2 is very different than that 19 year old woman in France in the 1930s saw it starting in her own world. 

She wrote that she was shocked and impressed America had elected its first congresswoman, when in France women had no voting rights yet - and those small lines changed my whole view of what her life must’ve been like! Along with just... the idea this girl younger than me, a 19 year old, was a teacher of a classroom writing to another girl teacher at University of Michigan! For some people these details might be boring, but to me they reveal so much about what life might have been seen as back then, in those places in those perspectives. Those books are what made me WANT to learn french, CARE about learning French, get MOTIVATED to learn. For me, wanting to read French perspectives in their own language, directly from the source, is what made me care about French. I definitely think if you are studying a language (or probably anything), you will have an easier time if you can find something to care about and motivate you to study and improve. As a bonus, this interest driving your passion can help you come up with tangible actual goals you wish to accomplish. 

For example, the goal of ‘I want to be fluent in French/German/whatever’ is fine. But how do you test that? With a CEFR test? I hope so, or something like that, or else you might struggle to come up with a real goal to aim toward. If you’re learning for a test, like a certificate that will allow you to work in a certain country - well that’s a real goal to envision and that you can plan for, and that goal can motivate you. But if it’s just ‘learn to C1 level fluency’ but you don’t ever plan anything measurable or tangible, how will you know you’re making progress? Get specific. If your goal is ‘fluency’ and it’s not for a test/certificate, then what do you want to DO with fluency? Talk to native speakers? Read books? Write articles in the language for a company? Translate? Travel to a location and speak with the locals about their city and culture? Decide. Decide what you want to do with that language. That’s where you’ll find your passion. That’s also where you’ll be able to figure out what real goals you’re aiming for. 

For me, the real goal was “I want to read these books.” That allowed me to realize I needed plans to improve my reading ability - plans to learn words, study grammar, learn the most common words, etc. And allowed me to study according to my needs for my goals. I really suggest finding your passion, then making goals and study plans from there.

---

Okay, back to: why French is a good language to try learning, if you planned to study it anyway, and aren’t sure how to learn a language (at least in my experience). 

French REALLY IS a ton like english. I can’t stress that enough. It has a huge number of cognates and that’s really the biggest reason French is approachable. So many words, at least written, look so similar to english you can guess them. The grammar is a bit different, but it is generally pretty regular so if you study it then it will be manageable. The grammar is also, while a bit different, very understandable from an english native perspective. Even when it’s different, it usually makes sense to a native english speaker. And - in reverse - if you speak French and mess up and use English grammar patterns instead of the correct french ones, often you’ll still at least be understood. The pronunciation is also quite regular and once you get used to it, sounding out new words is pretty easy (I had to learn some Russian at one point in my life and... French pronunciation/listening is such a cakewalk compared to Russian...)

When studying a language, you need a study plan. If its your first time making one, you’ll likely run into a lot of suggestions on the ‘best approach’ and a lot of different methods you can use. Look into them, try them out, and when you find what works for you, be CONSISTENT and stick with it. French is a nice language to do this experimenting on study approaches, because improvement is generally quite rapid when you find an approach that works for you. (Compared to a language very different from English - for example, it took me 2-3 months to start reading French articles online and French books and at least comprehending short sentences and skimming for some main points in simple texts like news articles/informational books. Japanese, it took me 6 months to be able to look at titles and short tweets and do the same thing, and 1 year to be able to look at simple comics aimed for preteens-teens and be able to skim those comics for main ideas - I still can’t approach an actual news article in japanese!). So a language like French, or anything more similar to English, is going to allow you to see if your study plan is working FASTER. Especially if it’s your first time trying to learn a language.

I have found, that a lot of the techniques I use to study Japanese and Chinese, I actually used successfully with French first. So now, even though my progress is much slower when I use them for Japanese and Chinese, I already know that I DO know how to do those study approaches and I DO know they give me progress over time. 

One technique is to ‘switch to monolingual engagement with a language as soon as possible.’ With Japanese or Chinese, as you can imagine, it takes longer to attempt to do this because learning to read in these languages is difficult. With French? What I had to do to make this leap was: learn basic past/present/future tense (just look up “French Grammar Guide” on google and read a free one), look up a 500 most common word list (also easy to find on google), study those for a few months. Once I did that, I could start reading French materials and just occasionally looking up new words that kept appearing and confusing me. At that point, I still occasionally relied on bilingual dictionaries and grammar books. So at about month 6, I looked up French grammar guides IN FRENCH. Then I just started reading them, and that’s how I learned a lot of my more advanced grammar in French. At that point, I just continued reading french/watching french, studying French grammar in French. I still occassionally use bilingual word lookups for frustrating new unfamiliar words, but mostly I’m so lazy I prefer to guess the meaning from the context of the sentences. And if I wanted to, I know enough words to just switch to a monolingual dictionary. After about 1 year, I got comfortable enough that I can navigate french sites, french wikipedia, french books, relatively fine. I’ve had my Google account set to French since probably month 3, and so all my computers and devices always give french sites/results first, french wikipedia, french definitions, so I just got more comfortable with french over time. If I had to compare it to my english, my French now at about 2 years (only the first year actively ‘studying’ in the sense of reading vocab lists and grammar guides), is a reading level around where I was at age 12-13. Enough that I can pick up whatever and read it, its just that more complicated reading material may be a bit of a slog (like adult level fictional novels). I started practicing from month 2-3 with instructive non-fiction books, so my reading level for history books and linguistic/science books in French is a bit higher. Basically, it took me 2 years to get to where I wanted to be in French (which is incredible to me!). And when I did it, part of my study plan ended up resembling the method of ‘switching to monolingual engagement of the language’ quite a lot. My experience studying french showed me that, yes, it does work. And its very helpful for me as a study method, since I learn most happily when learning from monolingual context in the media I’m consuming. 

I am well aware of where I fall short in French - listening (and pronunciation as a result of that), and writing. I can write, but the active vocabulary I can recall is very low since I haven’t spoken/written in a while and it takes a few hours of me ‘warming up’ to remember how to say the words I can read. I can write, but the grammar I can write is much WORSE than what I can read, since I didn’t do grammar drills and NEED TO eventually when improving my writing becomes a goal. Reading was always the goal, so reading is the main thing I studied for. I can text/write with french speakers, but I’m not grammatically smooth. My listening is weak, because again - I rarely practiced, it was not a goal of mine. I didn’t care about French videos or audio content, or speaking to french speakers. If that’s a goal I desire, I’ll study for it and work on those areas.

If using any kinds of study methods, I do think French is similar enough to English, that you will notice in a reasonable amount of time if your method is working for you and giving you progress. If it is, be consistent. There’s good weeks, and bad weeks where you’ll feel lost and incompetent. 

---

When studying Japanese I noticed, on a much longer timeline, similar progress being made from similar methods I used. Japanese had some unique challenges for me - the biggest simply being that I have to work harder to memorize new words since they’re not cognates to english like much of French’s vocabulary is. But my methods do work for me. So if you plan to study multiple languages, from my experience... French is definitely a good ‘testing waters.’

I had to crash learn some Russian to talk to some Russian people in my life for a while, and read Russian texts etc. And the study methods and goal setting skills I picked up when studying French helped me with that too.

My basic plan was:

1. Figure out your specific goals, plan accordingly. If you don’t care about learning certain areas within speaking, listening, reading, writing - then don’t make them the priority. If you do consider some or all of these areas priorities, then make specific plans for studying each area.  2. My goals have generally always included being able to read. So the following has always helped greatly: 

look up the 300-1000 most common words in the language. These are the most important vocabulary to focus on learning first. The tumblr 300 word list, and the 625 word list floating around online, are my favorite starting places. Some nice lists on Memrise of common words are also good starting places. I can learn other additional words I look up, but these common words will help me improve fastest so they’re my priority. 

look up “Language X Grammar Guide.” There are free ones for pretty much any language. Find one for the language I’m studying, and focus on the basic grammar points first - specifically verb and adjective conjugations, particles if the language has any (or that thing Russian has going on etc), genders, and simple ways the language does past/present/future tense. Basically, try to read the basic grammar points first, then also skim or read over more complicated grammar points as desired just to get an overview of things I’ll eventually want to notice later. My goal here is to get used to the patterns of the language, so when I look at sentences FULL of unknown words, I can at least try to identify which words are verbs/adjectives/nouns and other kinds of words that help explain what’s going on (like/the/and/or/for/to/with/’s). The quicker I can recognize at least the basics of what’s going on in sentences, the quicker I can figure out where words end in languages with no spaces between words. The quicker I can figure out which words are vital to the understanding of some sentences (if you know which words are nouns, and are reading News, then locating verbs helps next - to figure out whats Happening to the nouns). Knowing all this helps me prioritize which words I’ll NEED to look up when I’m trying to understand native content without me looking up every single word. Also, if writing/speaking is one of my goals, it helps me quickly learn some BASIC ways to express myself (simple past/present/future tense so I can communicate any idea basically with the help of a dictionary if i need to use a new word).

After that, make engaging with native content regularly a priority. If I want to learn to read, then make myself try to read native content as practice, and use graded readers as stepping stones etc. If listening is a priority, engage with listening materials regularly (and shadow what I hear, if I want to practice pronunciation). Basically - whatever your eventual usage goal is, regularly attempt to do it NOW (even though you aren’t fully capable yet). You will learn a little more each time, and improve specifically in that area you’re aiming to be able to eventually do. And you will have a nice gauge on your progress and what areas you’re falling short and need to adjust your study plan for. With French - from months 2-3 I started reading native content. It was a SLOG to read news articles and wikipedia. Eventually that was okay, but it was still a SLOG to read my own graded readers! Eventually I got decent, but it was still a SLOG to read french fanfictions! Eventually, that got decent, but it was still a SLOG to read french fiction novels for adults. Etc. I improved, but I didn’t start out perfectly able to do it - and I didn’t WAIT until I could do it, to start TRYING to do it. A lot of my improvement in reading... came from me practicing reading, looking up words over time until I learned them, until I got good enough to learn words from context, and still SLOGGING. But I wanted to read, so I kept trying to do it. I improved. It works that way with listening too, etc.

Finally, figure out what areas are not progressing toward my goal, and come up with additional study plans for those specific areas. If I need more grammar help or to do writing drills to improve my writing, maybe I need a textbook. If I want to speak to native speakers, maybe I need to find a group/people to speak to. If my listening comprehension is atrocious but its a GOAL, maybe I need to add listening study materials like podcasts/audio lessons/LISTEN to all new words when I look them up and add audio to my study flashcards. If I need to learn more words, maybe its time for me to update the vocabulary lists I’m using, maybe use SRS flashcards, Memrise, etc.

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A lot of that study plan I came up with for French, I ended up using when I started learning Chinese. And overall, it’s been a huge help. It’s still mostly what I stuck to. Hanzi and lack of cognates, mean that I do a lot more vocabulary flashcard grinding in the ‘knowing absolutely zero words’ stage. But the overall study plan is the same.

One thing I DID start doing for chinese, that I didn’t do before for other languages, was LISTENING from day one. I listened to Chinese shows, chinese youtube videos, chinese songs, and when I looked up most new words I looked up audio too. It wasn’t a goal for French so I don’t care too much that I never did it. But I can definitely say it helped me learn Chinese a lot EASIER than if I wasn’t doing it. I have a much better sense of listening to chinese and guessing the spelling, than I do for French. I have a much better ability to hear a word, and recognize it later when reading. Vice versa, in Chinese I’m much better at only reading a word and guessing its pronunciation based on pinyin, and it being close enough that when i HEAR a new word later I recognize it as one I’ve already read. These are simple skills but they’re super underdeveloped in my French - I struggle to do all these things in French. Now, my Chinese tone production is kind of shit - mostly because I need to do more tone drills, need to practice FULL SENTENCES more. But at least I can listen/read and link those two things in my head, and recognize them. I am certain it’s because I actively listened to Chinese from day 1 of learning, and kept doing so. 

I also think, at least with chinese, the chinese subtitles that chinese content tends to have is immensely helpful. Seeing chinese subtitles especially in the early stages of study, helped me link the new sounds and words to the characters. And since I studied a grammar guide early on, seeing the chinese subtitles helps me make out the separation of words I hear, and helps me figure out which words I’m hearing are adjectives/nouns/verbs/grammar constructions etc. And, because I’m lazy, I’ll say that the DUAL english/chinese subtitles also helped me a fair bit. Again, because they helped me link the chinese sounds to the characters to the english words. When I knew no words, to even now that I know 1000+ solidly, they help me to learn new words constantly. In the very beginning, they helped a lot with me learning words/phrases that mean a few different things/have different nuance than in english. Like ‘ba le’ ‘suan le’ ‘xiang’ ‘kankan’ ‘meishi’ ‘meiguanshi’ ‘danxin’ ‘ni fangxin’ ‘bubi’ ‘xiaoxin’ ‘xing le’ ‘mingbai’ ‘dong’... just, so many super common words that have a few different english translations depending on the context of a situation and the translator’s choices. 

If I go back to French and try to improve my listening comprehension, I’ll definitely be doing all these methods with French.