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thedelusionreaderbitch · 2 years

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Kaz Brekker x gn! Reader - You're human, so be it

A/n: I got this idea while sick, and ooc Kaz, sorry not sorry. Also the reader is kinda a vibe in this fic not gonna lie

Summary: After you screw up a previous job your past comes to taunt to with memories and you can't help but overwork yourself

Warnings: mentions of past abuse, normal canon violence, injury, sickness, overworking oneself, swearing, panic attack (not extremely descriptive), I think that's it? You have been warned!

The three P's:

[Pronouns used: You/your] [Pov: 2nd person] [Pairings: (romantic) kaz x reader, (platonic) the crows x reader]

Your last job you had fucked up on, you had disappointed the crows and Kaz. You could still feel their looks burning holes through your clothes until it seethed your skin. As Kaz's words echoed in your mind;

"We're all good at our jobs here Y/n, but if you can't reach the expectations then I can't have you on this team."

His words hurt, the cold shoulder the rest of the crows gave you hurt, it all reminded you of what your mother had been like to you;

"This family is good Y/n, but if you can't reach the expectations then you'll simply have to leave."

Your mother had always been one to fantasize about a perfect family, so that's what she tried to build. To everyone else on the outside it looked like your family really was perfect, but in reality there was so much controlling, and manipulation that a toxic environment quickly turned into abuse.

Your mother may have never hit you, but she was so controlling and manipulative, it was her way or the highway. If it wasn't done exactly to her instructions she would scream and howl at you, giving you terrible punishments set personally for every different child to make it as horrible as possible. Slowly you started to always try to met her impossible expectations, it got so bad that her classic phrase was nearly ingrained into your brain;

"Reasonable expectations, always meet them."

It was your household motto, unlike the other kids in your household you were always the closest to perfection that you could get for your mother. So the looks of disappointment she used to give you would always run a shiver down your spin and make you panic drastically.

Eventually you snapped and ended up on the streets with a weird talent for having an amazing memory. Photographic to be precise, although you were pretty sure it stemmed from what your mother had taught you. You always liked to over look that fact.

That was why Kaz had picked you off the streets and taught you how to fight, most of the crows already knew how to fight or had some semblance of something they could use for a weapon but not you. So you learned the why of the barrel through the six of crows having an arsenal of different skills in your pocket, by the end of the year you were already a crow and going on jobs with them.

After you had left your mother's place you had vowed to yourself that you would never let anyone put you in the state that she did again.

And as you became friends with the crows, you grew feelings for Kaz although you would never tell him because he didn't need another ego boost, and that the love was definitely unrequited. You never saw him return the looks that you gave him, he never treated you different from the rest of the crows, and Kaz in general was just the most emotionally unavailable person you had ever met.

Yet it still brought you back from when you were still living with your mother, those words were just so similar, the cold shoulders was also a tactic your mother used to use often. The fact that the triggering words came from Kaz made them even more painful.

Her words came back to your head, you thought you had healed but you were only starting to stitch yourself back up again, and all your stitch's had just been ripped open leaving a bleeding, gaping wound.

"Reasonable expectations, always meet them."

Then it became your motto again.

You started to work even harder, so you trained yourself over, and over again till your lungs were burning and your muscles were ready to give out. You took billions of small little solo jobs that were definitely were below your pay grade but in your mind you needed to prove yourself again. You didn't eat with the crows anymore you only ate on the go as you had been so busy, you took care of some of Kaz's paperwork secretly taking some of his pile and placing a signature where you knew you could do it, and it wouldn't be dangerous. Your memory did come in handy sometimes, it was the reason you were hired after all. You also took up extra shifts at the club either posing as a bartender or watching over the people and dealing with whatever pimp had decided they were cool.

You were barely taking care of yourself anymore, it showed with the bruises that littered your skin, the dark circles under your eyes and the franticness of your actions. Yet you couldn't stop, it was like Jesper and his gambling, you just couldn't stop. It was an addiction to prove yourself worthy of praise again, to meet the expectations that were set for everyone else again. To be deserving enough to have a place on the crows.

It was all so exhausting, and your body was screaming at you to stop but your brain wouldn't let you. What if they noticed you were slacking off? Would they think you were lazy? Would they be disappointed? Would they kick you out? Would he kick you out?

You were running a marathon no one else was, thus there was no winning, but you just couldn't stop. Because life's not that easy, trauma won't let the fish off the fishing line.

One day you were finally awarded to be allowed to go on a job with the crows again. When you had first heard the news you nearly wept with joy, yet you couldn't stop obsessing over it. You had to get this right, you just had too.

The crows weren't actually acting any differently towards you technically, you hadn't seen them much but they were still friendly towards you like before. You couldn't help yourself and be paranoid though, perhaps it was the fact that they hadn't let you on any other jobs again until now. So you could not. Mess. This. Up.

"Reasonable expectations, always meet them."

The plan was pretty simple, Inej would sneak in to the mercher's house to distract the party guests by turning the lights off, Matthias and Nina would pose as basically royalty from some far off country to take the focus off the host making him angry and distracted. While Wylan and Jesper would go undercover as servants listening in on the guests conversation so they could tell Inej when to turn the lights off. You and Kaz would be sneaking into the building as guards but would slip into the mercher's office when the lights were down to get some documents while you replaced them and Nina and Matthias bought you some time.

Then you and Kaz simply had to slink out of the office either; in an emergency, through a window in another room (as the merchant's office had no window) and run. Though, ideally getting back into your guard positions on time so you could walk out of the mansion without a problem while mentally flipping off everyone there and screaming in your head; "Haha losers, you didn't even notice a thing!"

Of course the victory walk wasn't necessary, but would probably help the crows stay off the radar of the merchant.

Yet as you walked through those doors dressed up in a uniform for the guards with Kaz beside you, you couldn't shake the feeling that something was going to go wrong. Maybe it was the fact that your body was bordering on it's limit of how much you could push it over the edge, or perhaps it was the slight shake in your hands as you feared the outcome. In your mind if you fucked this up the crows would be done with you, Kaz would be done with you.

So you ignored the soreness of what just walking had descended onto your body, and you quickly and effectively did the first part of your job perfectly as the adrenaline started to kick in.

Once the two of you entered the room Kaz had locked it behind him and nodded at you once. That was your only queue to start looking for the documents and you hurriedly got to work.

Looking through what felt like thousands of papers and folders you had finally found them and for a second you felt cool relief run down your spine reminding you how tired you truly are.

"Reasonable expectations, always meet them."

You couldn't think about that, you couldn't stop - not now.

"I found them." You spoke up and at the same time you heard gun shoots from outside your door.

Oh shit.

Scramming for the fake documents you quickly switched their places as Kaz hissed at you to hurry up.

Footsteps were coming closer to the door, and you readied your gun and walked as silently as you could behind the door while Kaz stayed out of view of it with his cane in hand.

You just hoped that the other crows had gotten out safe.

Suddenly the door got broken down and instantly, in a frantic move you shoot the guy in the head and the guard dropped to the ground dead.

You had killed very little people with your time in the crows, so killing shouldn't have been that easy. Kaz knew that, you should have tried another variable, hit him across the head with the gun, or shoot him in the hand or leg. Something was up.

Your heart squeezed in your chest yet your gaze only lingered on the guard for a split second before you were down the hall gun in hand readying yourself to jump out the nearest window.

"Reasonable expectations, always meet them."

Your vision wavered as you opened the door to the nearest room and it spun a tiny bit, but it wasn't too bad, you just figured it was adrenaline.

Opening the window you hopped out as you gestured for Kaz to come through. As he did you felt like throwing up everything in your stomach, there were black spots in your vision. You couldn't hear anything, and you could feel yourself panicking as you could only hear a ringing sound. It felt like someone was banging a stick against your head as you collapsed to the ground. Knees hitting the soil hard, and promptly passing out.

_______________

When you woke up you full on panicked.

"No, no, no!" You whispered as you sat up scanning the area around you hectically as you quickly realized it was Kaz's room/office.

Did they kick you out of the crows? Did they kick you out of the dregs and took pity on you for some reason? Perhaps Kaz was going to give you another one of his soul crushing lectures again. No, no, no!

Your chest felt like it had ten wolves on top of it, and your eyesight flickered which made you even more hysterical.

Panic attack, you were experiencing a panic attack.

You couldn't breathe, you really tried but it seemed impossible. Your hands shook as you curled into a ball despite the blankets that were on you.

"Y/n!" A raspy voice filled your ears and your eyes snapped up to meet his crow like eyes. Despite knowing that Kaz was there, that you weren't alone it didn't stop it, it didn't help.

It might have made it worse, because he was one of the reasons you were having it.

Crouching down beside your bed at eye level with you, he reached out a gloved hand to cup your cheek as you crunched your eyes closed.

"You did good Y/n, you did good."

Eventually your breathing even out and without realizing it you had leaned into the hand on your cheek. Slowly opening your eyes again your met with his dark eyes the color of beautifully terrible asteroids destroying worlds.

Smiling slightly you move away from his hand so he's no longer touching you.

"Hey."

Kaz scowled at you while standing up and crossing his arms.

"I'm taking you off jobs for the next two weeks."

Your jaw dropped and you couldn't help it when your eyes filled with water albeit it wasn't much. You were just pushed to your end, you didn't want to go back there again. You didn't want to be told you weren't good enough again.

"Reasonable expectations, always meet them."

"What! No fucking way!"

Kaz sighed dragging a hand over his face as if this was the most exasperating conversation he's ever had in his life.

"You need rest Y/n. When you fainted I thought you had been shot and were being an idiot and trying to hide it from me. But I found nothing."

Pausing, his eyes flickered down to your figure before looking back up into your eyes again.

"Nina quickly figured out that you were basically working yourself to death."

You were left there gaping like a fish, so he wasn't going to kick you off the crows for making a mistake?

Suddenly your mother's words didn't come to mind as the first response, it was something that Kaz himself had told you when you first started being trained.

"You're human, so be it."

Perhaps you needed to start acting like a human being again instead of some robot. You weren't perfect, and you had let your past get to your head.

Instead of saying this though these brilliant words came out of your mouth; "How did I get back?"

Kaz looked at you in almost disbelief that that out of everything was your question to him. Nothing about your health and what you should do to get better but nooo. It was how the ever loving fuck, did Y/n get back to the Slat?

"I carried you most of the way until we ran into Matthias and Nina, then Matthias had carried you the rest of the way to the Slat."

"You carried me?"

"I just told you I did."

You were a bit disappointed that you missed that, though you were sure it wasn't very pretty. Yet, your cheeks still burned when you thought of Kaz's arms around you, and his scent surrounding you.

There's a silence for a while before Kaz sits on the side of the bed and refuses to look at you.

Sighing you rub your hands nervously over your thighs.

"It's not your fault you know? Your words just triggered some stuff from the past and it sent me into a frenzy. That's none of their faults, and it's definitely not yours."

"I should have noticed.' He growled, while balling up his hands into fists.

"You have other things to worry about, and other people to care for. Nobody can blame you, you had other investments to look after." You say the end part almost bitterly.

Kaz shakes his head, his raven, soft hair with it.

"I should have seen something. I always see you."

"What do you mean?"

Kaz grits his teeth and lets out a frustrated grunt.

"I notice you Y/n, I can not notice you. You're every where I look, your everything I hear."

You froze as he moved closer to you realizing that this was basically Kaz Brekker confessing his love to you.

His (now ungloved) hand brushed up against your lips and danced down to to your pulse on your neck. Alive, he was making sure you were alive. Then with his other hand he laced your fingers together before slowly letting go after a couple of deep, loud breaths from the both of you.

"Was that you basically saying you love me?"

Kaz glares at you as he goes to sit on a chair close to your bed with papers in hand ready to start signing off and what not.

Did he really move a chair beside his bed so he could do work and watch you at the same time?

Rolling your eyes an affectionate smile graced your face as you gazed at the man.

"I love you too, Dirtyhands. I love you too."

Words 2690

-thedelusionreaderbitch

Grishaverse taglist: @kaqua @rika90 @thefandomplace @musical-theatre-obsessed-dumbass @gallysonegoodlung @navs-bhat @sumsebien @dontjudgeabookbythecover @brekker-zenik @alohastitch0626 @brekkers-desigirl @emmsamultifan06

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waldensblog · 1 year

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Reading Ruin and Rising

So I have finished The Grisha Trilogy! Overall, I quite enjoyed the book series after watching the show, and I will continue on to the Six of Crows Duology and then the King of Scars Duology. Below the cut are my thoughts on the final book in the trilogy.

TL;DR: -I liked how Alina grew more ruthless, really was full fledged. Her ending is tragic. -The Darkling basically won, and was taken down by his weakness: love. Still a Darklina stan, what a tragic romance they had. -I like Nikolai overall, and his ending is likewise sad, as he now is possessed. Kind of Darkolai ending for him. I like Nikolina too. -Mal isn’t the literal worst the entire time, but I’m not a fan of him still. I think he was not a true amplifier but a curse to whatever Grisha killed him. His happy ending comes at the expense of literally everyone else’s and the good of Ravka. -Story is overall a tragedy. A good tragedy, but a tragedy nonetheless.

Alina: Although she once again starts in a position of weakness, underground, recovering from the Chapel fight, I found myself loving the start. Alina’s developed into a morally grey and ruthless character, and I love this. She’s stuck with the apparat, but biding her time.

Her tether scene with the Darkling shows how far she’s come. She reached out to him, which surprised him, and stroke his face, taunted him with their love story - hell yeah, it was a very strong start for me.

When escaping the apparat, she almost kills (again), but only ends up branding someone. Again, loving this gray and ruthlessness, and all the inner thoughts about how very much like the Darkling she is becoming.

Alina eventually meets back up with Nikolai and they’re at the Spinning Wheel, where she trains more with Baghra, and gets stronger and stronger. During the escape from the Spinning Wheel, she uses the cut to kill someone, for the first time. She is disgusted with herself in part because yeah splitting someone in 2 would be pretty gorey, but also because of how... easy it was, how good it felt. She knows she’s going down a dark path, and I personally love to see it - because it breaks the hero archetype, giving her more an anti-hero arc.

I’ll discuss the ending itself further below, because I have a lot of thoughts on that, but to keep it brief here: the end of Alina’s story is, to me, tragic. She’s a tragic hero to me. I overall like her character, though I definitely have gripes about her at times, mostly, the Mal addiction.

The Darkling: My favourite still. The Darkling is to me an anti-villain - he does bad things for the right reasons. In another story, he may have been the anti-hero, not the one Ravka deserves perhaps, but the one Ravka needs (*Batman theme plays*).

The Darkling has basically won by the start of the story. He’s ruling Ravka, he can expand the Fold any way he wants, the King is on the run. He can ensure Grisha safety, stop the wars... he’s won. His weakness is what he always said: wanting, or more specifically: love.

When his mother jumps off a cliff, it’s because she knows this. She knows he would go after her - try to stop her from dying. Alina feels him try to pull her into the tether afterwards, and can feel his overwhelming grief. She refuses the call, but she knows. And in the Fold, when Alina loses her power - she doesn’t need the tether to feel his grief. Her metaphorical death there was too much for him. It wasn’t only about loneliness, but love. He wanted to rule with her - he wanted to his soulmate by his side. He wanted a partner. He goes about it poorly - having learned cruelty and abuse from his mother, and never breaking the cycle.

It was clear to me that they loved each other deeply as much as they hated the fact. In the tether, when he kisses her neck as she’s against him, the attraction, the pull, is very strong. At the end, she’s crying as he dies, and he just looks at her and is happy to know at least someone will mourn him - that he was loved.

I absolutely lose my mind about the fact that his body was burned alongside Ruby’s-disguised-to-look-like-Alina’s, because that was absolutely not for Ruby - who probably would not like that - it was not for him - because he probably wouldn’t like that either (though would be happy she respected his wish to burn the body) - it was certainly not for Ravka, who complained about it - this was for Alina. Alina asked for a Grisha effigy of herself to burn next to him. Her metaphorical funeral. Side by side. The immortal rulers of Ravka that could have been. As she watches this, she whispers his name in a sob. Dear.God. what a tragic lovers-to-enemies romance this is. I do wish there were more tether scenes, but I loved the ones we did get.

Nikolai: Nikolai starts on the run, and without tether scenes, we don’t get to see him for quite a while. When he finally does show up, I cheer. Yey! Our pirate prince is back! I loved all the scenes with Alina, and found their chemistry intriguing. I do feel that they could have been happy together, King and Queen of Ravka - a Grisha Queen which may have helped bridge the gap between Grisha and otkazat'sya, even leading to a Grisha king if they had a son. Certainly, that’s what both Siege and Storm and Ruin and Rising were saying was supposed to happen. I would have accepted this end, even if it wouldn’t have been my favourite, because it would be a bit status quo-y. As good a King as Nikolai may be - a great one with Alina at his side, he is still ultimately a monarch, and a mortal man. His descendants may not been as good - we could hope, if they’re Grisha, that they would be. He would have died as Alina remained ageless, so this would still have a tragic end for her. I like Nikolina, but it’s still a second choice to me after Darklina. I did have a pretty big gripe about Nikolai at the Spinning Wheel though: when it came to Genya. Sure, it’s great that he took her side, but his punishment to his father is so... what a slap on the wrist. Oh you abused this woman, well off to a warm retirement you go, I’m the King now, dad! To me, the fact that he didn’t stand trial kind of tells me the nobility will always get away with more under his rule than peasants would. He may not be the Worst, he may be a good and great king - but at the end of the day... a monarchy is still a monarchy.

The Darkolai vibes here were great - fucked, but great. The Darkling saw Nikolai at the spinning wheel, Mal too - and could have a) killed one or both, b) infect them with nichevo’ya. He specifically targeted Nikolai for option b - instead of killing the King, instead of killing Mal or infecting him. Why? Jealousy because Alina showed interest in him? Because he never saw him during tether scenes and therefore knows Alina does have genuine feelings for him? Or because... secret option C? I mean the tendrils down the throat is bit... not-hetero. They both ultimately want the same things, and in another story, another life, they may have been allies. At the end, Nikolai is still ultimately scarred, and the shadow demon-ness is not gone. A part of the Darkling lives on inside Nikolai’s body, so we... sort of have a Darkolai ending, don’t we?

The Darknikolina-ness of no tether scenes when she’s with Nikolai, the shadow demon and emerald ring, trying to cure via her light, the tendrils down the throat. My god. I am still on about this, yes. Imagine the possibilities...

Mal: Mal was not the literal worst in this book like he was in Siege and Storm. He’s finally gotten past being a drunk, angry, asshole, and now sees himself as a tool in a war. I’m glad he’s had some development, and that he’s accepted a position as not-Alina’s-lover. I find his tracker abilities absurd at times - what the hell do you mean he can target a beetle and shoot it to make a bomb explode?! WHAT? What in the world does that have to do with his being the firebird anyway? On that note, I posted this elsewhere, but I have a theory that Morozova’s third amplifier - the firebird - Morozova’s daughter and her bloodline, so Mal - is actually not a true amplifier, but a curse. Any grisha that dared kill the firebird would lose their powers, and a bunch of nearby otkazat'sya would get them. Kind of a monkey’s paw situation (you want power? wish granted - they get the amplified power, not you). Not that Mal would know that. I also think that this curse is partially why Alina was so drawn to him. It’s a bit tragic really - they think it’s a sincere affection, but it’s really the amplifier, a trap, pulling her in, luring her. It’s unfortunately dismissed immediately by Mal when Alina brings it up - what if everything between them was just the amplifier? I personally think it was. I also maintain that he was very much a drug for her. He wanted to carve out her power, and in the end, he basically did. She goes back to being “useless” Alina, and unhappily staring out a window, longing for her powers. Once again, Alina tries to tell us she is happy - despite the evidence suggesting otherwise.

The ending: I’ve already touched on the ending above a fair bit, but to summarize, I interpret the ending as a tragedy. Alina is a tragic hero - she tries to make things better, but she didn’t fix Ravka, there are still wars, and people still hate grisha. She loses her powers in the process, dying a metaphorical death and burning herself alongside her soulmate who she killed - our anti-villain, the Darkling. Nikolai is scarred, possessed, and left to rule alone, as Alina removes herself from society, sadly looking out the windows at the sunlight and wishing she had her powers, as Mal - the only happy one at the end has succeeded in keeping her weak. I know many hate the ending - I don’t, but it’s because I view it as a tragedy.

#Grishaverse #ruin and rising #grisha trilogy #darklina #nikolina #darkolai #darknikolina #anti malina

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cristalbeesnow · 10 months

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I know it's never good to delude yourself too much but the results of the struggle seem good to me (obviously I'm going by logic, the world of entertainment is not my branch), there are parties, letters, spam, works and petitions (here it's slowed down unfortunately, however, it is constant, it does not stop. come on, let's sign some more!) and the discontent against the great n scam continues to create its discontent. obviously these are long things. if we ever have good news it will be in the spring at the earliest. in the meantime you need to understand what product to offer. then who offers it. negotiations will begin between n and potential buyers. we will not speak until we are sure. The important thing, however, is not to give up on showing ourselves interesting so that we don't get anything. there are 3 hypotheses at this point (if we don't give up. but we didn't do all this for nothing, right?). first hypothesis: we get the spin off and a last season of Alina (moreover we will never have love but at least we would have an end right? ah obviously first the crows then Alina. only for chronological reasons. not only because the script has been written but because the spin-off events happen first). this would be the best. second hypothesis: a film about crows and one about Alina (no longer six hours or 8 but 3. a sad compromise but better than a good kick in the ass, right?) third hypothesis: given that the author has said that a TV series about Alex will start and that n no longer holds the rights to shadow... well maybe someone will think of starting from scratch in a few years (and only because there will be Alex's TV show otherwise bye bye) but we have to wait years assuming this happens. we wouldn't have that cast anymore and who can assure us that the new work isn't proverbial crap? ok it's the last resort and I would be fine with it... but the first option is better, right? in any case nothing will be known before spring... in the meantime please let's move on... at least for a while since they have renewed shows with lower figures than this. that would be really bad luck!!!!

#six of crows #shadow and bones #six of crows spin off #save shadow and bone #save six of crows

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kazscrows · 2 years

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Six of Crows Reread 🪶

Chapter 29: Matthias

Kaz knows he doesn’t even have to threaten Matthias in anyway. He’ll help them just for Nina’s sake at this point

The boys in this series really do have it bad for their love interest don’t they

Simps 💕

“Water everywhere,” said Wylan. “Do the fountains symbolise Djel?”

“The wellspring,” mused Kaz, “where all sins are washed clean.”

“Or where they drown you and make you confess,” Wylan said.

Jesper snorted. “Wylan, your thoughts have taken a very dark turn. I fear the Dregs may be a bad influence.”

Or Wylan is just like this

I like that Matthias points out that the climbing is extremely easy for both Kaz and Jesper, but not Wylan

Poor kid has no upper body strength yet

They rig him up a sling to slide across

But now his thoughts were muddied with these thugs and thieves, with Inej’s courage and Jesper’s daring, and with Nina, always Nina. He couldn’t deny the relief he’d felt when she’d emerged from the incinerator shaft, dishevelled and gasping, frightened but alive. When he and Wylan had pulled her out of the flue, he’d had to force himself to let her go.

Helnik ❤️

And lol Kaz is noticeable absent from his praising thoughts

While on the way to the magic tree:

“All this to be a witchhunter?” Kaz said behind him. “The Dregs need a better initiation.”

“This is only one part of Hringkälla.”

“Yes, I know, then a tree tells you the secret handshake.”

“I feel sorry for you, Brekker. There is nothing sacred in your life.”

There was a long pause, and then Kaz said, “You’re wrong.”

He’s thinking about Inej I bet

Or maybe avenging Jordie

I do think that Kaz very much so wants to believe in something

Also.. what is the Dregs initiation? Is it usually just getting the tattoo?

“Were you always good at locks?”

“No.”

“How did you learn?”

“The way you learn about anything. Take it apart.”

“And the magic tricks?”

Kaz snorted. “So you don’t think I’m a demon any more?”

“I know you’re a demon, but your tricks are human.”

“Some people see a magic trick and say, ‘Impossible!’ They clap their hands, turn over their money, and forget about it ten minutes later. Other people ask how it worked. They go home, get into bed, toss and turn, wondering how it was done. It takes them a good night’s sleep to forget all about it. And then there are the ones who stay awake, running through the trick again and again, looking for that skip in perception, the crack in the illusion that will explain how their eyes got duped; they’re the kind who won’t rest until they’ve mastered that little bit of mystery for themselves. I’m that kind.”

“You love trickery.”

“I love puzzles. Trickery is just my native tongue.”

This paragraph is really quite a deep dive into Kaz’s mind

He’s such a complex character

He sees just about everything in life as a lie he just hasn’t figured out yet

This is also getting me excited to see Freddy and Callahan do the Kaz and Matthias dynamic. They have said they’re looking forward to it themselves

Fingers crossed for season 3 or even better: a Crows spin-off!!

The reality of the situation struck Matthias suddenly. Kaz hadn’t picked up the rifle. Matthias had a gun in his hands, and Kaz Brekker was unarmed. They were standing over the bodies of two unconscious drüskelle, men who were supposed to be Matthias’ brothers. I can shoot him, Matthias thought. Doom Nina and the rest of them with a single act. Again, Matthias had the strange sense of his life viewed the wrong way up. He was dressed in prison clothes, an intruder in the place he’d once called home. Who am I now?

And you know what? He doesn’t shoot him

I really really like this scene

Matthias lowered his weapon.

A faint smile touched Kaz’s lips. “I wasn’t sure what you’d do if it came down to this.”

“Neither was I,” Matthias admitted. Kaz lifted a brow, and the truth struck Matthias with the force of a blow. “It was a test. You chose not to pick up the rifle.”

“I needed to be sure you were really with us. All of us.”

“How did you know I wouldn’t shoot?”

“Because, Matthias, you stink of decency.”

“You’re mad.”

“Do you know the secret to gambling, Helvar?” Kaz brought his good foot down on the butt of the fallen soldier’s rifle. The gun flipped up. Kaz had it in his hands and pointed at Matthias in the space of a breath. He’d never been in any danger at all. “Cheat.”…

Kaz is just. So. Cool—

He’s such a little turd

I love him

“One day you’ll run out of tricks, demjin.”

“You’d better hope it’s not today.”

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#six of crows #matthias helvar #kaz brekker #jesper fahey #inej ghafa #nina zenik #wylan van eck #reading #books #leigh bardugo #kazscrows #kazscrowsreadssoc #shadow and bone #grishaverse #soc

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nikfigueiredo · 10 months

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I'm soooo upset and mad right now.

Those who follow me (literally no one but whatever) maybe know that i love the Grishaverse (my reblogs show it) and i first had the contact with it bc of the show.

And knowing it that's not recieving a season 3 renewal/got cancelled and we're not getting a six of crows spin-off makes me sooooo upset and mad cause Netflix gives more and more seasons to some really bad shows but the good ones (for example Lockwood & Co and Shadow and bone) are basically put it in the trash.

I'm sad that we're never going to see the Ice court heist, the breaking Matthias out of Hellgate, not hearing "No mourners no funerals" anymore, not seeing Freddy Carter, Amita Suman, Kit Young, Jack Wolfe, Danielle Galligan, Calahan Skogman and the rest of the SAB cast playing these characters so beautifully and amazing.

"Ah but Nicoly (Yes, that's my name) at least there's the books" YES, I KNOW! But it's not the same, i got the sab trilogy as a birthday gift (didn't read it yet cause i want to pass through my finals to read it) but i didn't get contact with the books yet, the only one i had was soc bc of fanfiction, so until now my only contact with the Grishaverse were the show, and i wanted to see more, i wanted to see the cast perform those scenes so loved by the fans and i know that they would rock it.

Sorry for the rant, just needed to let it out.

#thoughts #shadow and bone #six of crows

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ashesandhackles · 1 year

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8 TV Shows

Thanks for the tag @yletylyf <3 <3

Rules: list eight TV shows for your followers to get to know you better! 1. Buffy the Vampire Slayer Years, years ago, I sporadically watched earlier seasons of Buffy and enjoyed it for the campy fun they were. And then I watched, "Innocence" - Season 2, episode 14 and I was obsessed with Buffy Summers. Buffy Summers is that one character of all time for me - she is heroic, aspirational but she is also flawed and messy and so delightfully complex. I love her and I forever have a soft spot for Sarah Michelle Gellar for playing her.

2. Fruits Basket

I first read Fruits Basket as a manga, saw the first anime adaptation and the reboot came out during the pandemic. Fruits Basket is a very important piece of media to me because of the way it tackles abuse and the nature of systemic abuse. The show/ manga's ideas of rehabilitative justice were truly ahead of its time. Also the anti hero of the story is my all time fixation - Shigure Sohma.

3. Inuyasha

Another long running manga turned anime. Something about this series turns me into a nostalgic goo. It's probably Rumiko Takahashi's brand of characters, where there is something interesting going on with each of them. But my forever love from the series is Sango, the girl who crawls out of her own grave <3

4. Fushigi Yugi

I greatly dislike the main lead in this anime, I great dislike the romance in this series but my heart went out to the antagonist, the main lead's once best friend Yui Hongo. And if this series wasn't so enamored with its ridiculously cheesy and tiresome main romance (i do not have enough criticism for how truly bad it is, believe me), it had decent worldbuilding and politics. A fact that the original manga author knew and corrected with her spin off prequel - the vastly superior manga Fushigi Yugi: Genbu Kaiden (with likable main heroine! an intense romance that never takes over the plot!). She is currently writing Fushigi Yugi: Byakko Senki and I am curious to see what she does there.

5. Nana

Nana is about my early 20s life lol. Co-dependent, almost romantically charged friendship with a roommate/best friend? Check. Misogynist, controlling boyfriends? Check. Intense but fucked up relationships? Check. It's like this show reached into my heart and displayed it to the world.

6. Shadow and Bone

I'll be honest: my interest in the show is largely due to the fact that I have read the Six of Crows duology and loved those books. I only read the original Shadow and Bone series recently, just so I can keep with the main plotline in season 2 and boy, the original trilogy is very poor lol. The only thing that has bones of something interesting is Darkling and his relationship with Alina, and watching Season 2, I feel the show writers aren't comfortable tapping into that. Too much time moralising "this is bAd!!" - lol, yes we know. It is very childish finger-wagging writing, and it's very boring and not at all reflective of human experience (Shadow and Bone writers need to watch Nana to understand how to write abusive relationships without making it look like they are doing 'Toxic Ex Boyfriend for Dummies'). The reasons why Crows shine so much is because they are based on books that are good. And I agree with general consensus that the moral universe of the Crows and the Shadow and Bone stories do not match at all, and it creates horrible discrepancies in narrative framing.

7. Cowboy Bebop

This is a show that has influenced my writing the most: dream-like vigenettes for characters? People dreaming and having nightmares? Characters stuck in the past? I wish I could be as subtle and genre-bending as this show often was. So beautiful.

8. Death Note

If you have inhaled animes during your teen years, you won't go without bingeing Death Note. Fantastic premise, fantastic protagonist and just outright brutal to watch. I keep returning to it time and again.

Tagging @merlins-sequined-hotpants @hinnyfied @bluethepineapple @phantomeo @thedreamermusing @turanga4

#tag games

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thosesillylittlegayghosts · 2 years

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Episode 4 thoughts

Not Vasiliy seeing mal and Alina kiss THIS IS WHY YOU DONT PUBLICLY KISS YOUR BOYFRIEND WHEN YOUR ENGAGED

Also nikolais mum is really pushing the whole he’s legitimate thing isn’t she

INEJS VOICE BREAKING INTO KAZS FLASHBACK WHERE EARLIER IT WAS JORDIE

I FEEL LIKE WE ARE BUILDING UP TO KAZ IMAGINING INEJS BODY

“It would bring me some comfort to know that you’re with me” my kanej heart is being fed

Kaz just wanting Inej to be safe if he dies versus Inej just wanting to get revenge for Kaz if he dies

The patron Saint of brewers

A LITTLE LIGHT ROLEPLAY

I KINDA LIKE YOUR FACE

SOMETIMES BROTHERS FIGHT

YES TO ALL OF THAT SHUT UP THEYRE BROTHERS

We like to keep our expectations low!

Nina bestie don’t knock out Kaz

Also there’s no way we’re getting a soc spin off for crooked kingdom cause they’re using half the plotline

David’s little wave 😭I love him

Oh god David feels so bad about genya

Whoever I saw on here that called the sword a round of applause for you

So know nikolais gonna hire the crows right?

Mal calling Nikolai out on the third person

Nina bestie stop it. He’s probably just gonna kill you anyway

Can’t really blame Kaz for Nina not being loyal they’ve known each other a week

Yes Inej slay

This is how she’s gonna find her purpose

She’s not gonna get her ship at the end of this season is she? She might

This is when Kaz is gonna bring up his son ain’t it

See they’ve already used the plague thing so we literally cannot get a crooked kingdom spin off

Ahah that where the shiner comes from

Omg no not Jordie already having the plague when the sirens went off

Slay Kaz

OMG YES HIM AND NINA PLANNED IT

NOW I KNOW HOW JESPER AND INEJ FEEL

OMG YES GO KAZ USE HIS SON

Ngl kinda prefer when Kaz didn’t use his name cause then pekka was just being gullible

Calling pekka weak as if he’s not in love with Inej

Also shout out to whoever said Kaz was gonna use alby in every monstrous thing

OMG OMG WE GOT THE SCENE

I CANNOT

Kaz saying all of this with blood running down his face really makes it

THEY LITERALLY LIFTED HALF IT FROM THE BOOKS AND I LOVE THAT

Nina and Jesper just watching this shitshow go down

He better get on his knees

YESSSSS

‘Are you’ I FUCKING LOVE HIM

ngl I kinda forgot they were being framed for murder

Omg yeah the bitch is dead

YESSS GET INEJ FREED TOO

Ok but this means that he didn’t liquidate all his assets to free her

It also means they can’t really do six of crows either cause heleens the one who recognises them at the ice court

Thick as thieves, lol

YES THE KOOPEROM

Where was Inej in that scene with pekka though?

YES TOLYA AND POETRY MY TRUE OTP

Shit okay vasily really wanted rid of mal

Alinas dress looks gorgeous

OMG VASILY NO LEAVE RN

Slay Alina

Bitch you talking a hell of a lot for someone who gets himself killed

Also I forgot vasily proposed 😭

We love Alina wiping her hand on her dress

OMG YES WE GET PEKKA DIGGING WITH HIS HANDS

What’s actually in the grave though

OMG YES THE STADWATCH

Hahahahahaha alby

WESPER

IS JESPER ASKING HIM OUT

OMG THEY ACTUALLY HOOKED UP

NOT WYLAN LOW-KEY SLUT SHAMING JESPER 😭

We better get the just girls scene in a flashback or something

OMG JESPER YES

WYLAN TRYING TO HIDE HIS SMILE

OMFG THEY KISSED!!!!!!

THE SCREECH I JUST LET OUT

OMG THEYRE GONNA KISS

My heart is beating so fucking fast right now

AND OMG RIGHT INTO A KANEJ SCENE?!!

HE THOUGHT SHE WAS DEAD

NO KAZ WHAT OH WAIT YEAH BE FREED HER

SHIT

Wait hold up does wylan know about the stablehand?!

I LOVE IT WHEN YOU QUOTE ME

Jesus that is a big rock

NIKOLAI

‘If my mother was as put off by commoners as she claimed I wouldn’t be here now would I?”

Lol vasilys dead

Darkling honestly needs to die already

Genya smashing things as she deserves

I did not expect that to be the context of ‘I’ll destroy the only thing you have left’ and honestly im a bit disappointed she wasn’t threatening him

#shadow and bone #shadow and bone spoilers

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anthony-sharma · 1 year

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Six of Crows Reread - Ch. 5

Another chapter by our very own Dirtyhands!

Chapter 5: Kaz

“One day Rollins would come to Kaz on his knees, begging for help. If Kaz managed this job for Van Eck, that day would come much sooner than he ever could have hoped. Brick by brick, I will destroy you.”

And that day did indeed come, at the end of Crooked Kingdom and in episode 2.04 of S&B. In my opinion, one of the best scenes in the whole show. Freddy embodied Kaz SO WELL in that scene.

“The boy at the desk was dressed in a creamy velvet suit, a white rose in his buttonhole. He had white hair and eyes the colour of boiled eggs. Barring the eyes, he looked like an albino, but Kaz happened to know that he’d been tailored to match the decor of the House by a certain Grisha on the payroll.

[...]

She had a lucrative side business as a Tailor, seeing to the wrinkles and jowls of the wealthy Kerch, but her chief source of income came from altering moods.”

I think this guy will look really creepy in the show! Also, Nina must not be such a shitty Tailor, if she managed to do that and if she has a lucrative job at it on the side. We learn in the second book that it was Genya who tailored her to look like Mila Jandersdat, but she must have some good enough knowledge of Tailoring (being from the same Order as Tailors) to manage that.

“A man doesn’t need a bed to get ideas, Nina.”

Nina fluttered her lashes. “What would you know about it, Kaz? Take those gloves off, and we’ll see what ideas come to mind.”

“A man doesn’t need a bed to get ideas” yeah well, as a very wise man once said (more exactly, Archie Renaux in one of S&B’s interviews) “men are trash” so, yeah, there’s that.

Also, I really wanna see Nina flirt with Kaz in the show! We know she flirts with everyone and we saw a glimpse of it with the “Waffles” exchange, but it would be really funny to watch an exchange like this.

Lastly, I wonder if we’ll see Nina work in the White Rose as she does in the book. She’ll need to find a job as she buys time to free Matthias, so maybe she will?

“The brain is just another organ,” Kaz said, quoting Van Eck.

“Yes, but it’s an incredibly complex one. Controlling or altering another person’s thoughts … well, it’s not like lowering a pulse rate or releasing a chemical to improve someone’s mood. There are too many variables. No Grisha is capable of it.”

Another foreshadowing to what Nina will be able to do under jurda parem by the end of the book.

“Without being invited, Kaz sat down on the plush settee and stretched out his bad leg. “Jurda parem is real, Nina, and if you’re still the good little Grisha soldier I think you are, you’ll want to hear what it does to people like you.”

She turned the lump of gold over her in her hands, then wrapped her dressing gown more tightly around her and curled up at the end of the settee. Again, Kaz marvelled at the transformation. In these rooms, she played the part her clients wanted to see – the powerful Grisha, serene in her knowledge.

But sitting there with her brow furrowed and her feet tucked under her, she looked like what she truly was: a girl of seventeen, raised in the sheltered luxury of the Little Palace, far from home and barely getting by every day.”

It must be very weird watching Kaz stretching his leg in the same couch that Nina’s sitting it. We are used to seeing him be physically detached from the rest of his team, so even these small moments of “closeness” will be very interesting to watch in the spin-off.

On another note, is Nina not making big money as a tailor. Just a few paragraphs ago it said that she had a lucrative job as one, so now she’s just barely getting by?

“He isn’t hiding out. The Fjerdans have him at the Ice Court.”

Nina paused. “Then he’s as good as dead.”

“The Merchant Council doesn’t think so. They wouldn’t be going to this trouble or offering up this kind of reward if they thought he’d been neutralised. Van Eck was worried. I could see it.”

Later we find out that Van Eck was lying to Kaz because, among other things, he didn’t even have 30 million kruge to spare in case the Crows made it out of the Ice Court. So why did Kaz believe him in the first place? I think it was because all good lies are always embedded with a little bit of truth, so Van Eck showing proof of what jurda parem could do (with the Tidemaker being able to cross walls and the Heartrender’s effects being still visible in the stadwatch members) was the “truth” part, and the “lie” part was him being able to pay them 30 million kruge for the retrieval of Yul-Bayur. Of course, Kaz being the greedy person that he is, and in order for him to fulfill his future plans with Rollins, it was a huge opportunity. Besides, breaking into the Ice Court was impossible so that also presented an extra challenge for him so much so that he was almost powerless to refuse it.

“Don’t put this on the old man,” she snapped. “If you’d wanted to help me, you know you could have.”

“And why would I do that?”

She whirled on him. “Because … because …”

“When have I ever done something for nothing, Nina?”

Except he kinda does? Unless he also has a hidden agenda that we don’t know about. In episode 2.08, after Nina says that she’ll claw her way to a happy ending, Kaz answers with “Let me help you” but like...if he doesn’t do things out of charity, what is his reason?

“That may have been true once, Nina, but it’s been a very long year. Helvar is much changed.”

“You’ve seen him?” Her green eyes were wide, eager. There, thought Kaz, the Barrel hasn’t beaten the hope out of you yet.

“I have.”

I can’t wait for Kaz and Matthias’ first scene together!! And the fact that Calahan and Freddy are so eager for their first scene as well just makes me sure it’ll be great!

So that’s it for chapter 5. Next up, the very first episode of our favorite Heartrender <3

#six of crows reread #six of crows

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sleepless-crows · 2 years

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sometimes i just really wish the crows weren't in shadow and bone.

don't get me wrong, i absolutely am very grateful that we get to see the crows adapted on screen. it's just that with all our talk of the crows stealing the show, i'm kind of scared it will get overshadowed by shadow and bone, like even a little bit.

i am so bad at wording my thoughts but when/if the six of crows spin-off comes out, i want to watch all scenes of the crows together like a marathon without having to also watch shadow and bone. (i love shadow and bone though!!!)

there's also a part of me that wants the spin-off show to be really, extremely accurate to the books. i want scenes in the book to happen the exact same time and order in the show and with the crows being in shadow and bone, we will get some of those scenes in sab and not their own show.

i am kind of specifically talking about how i don't think we'll get the inej bleeding on the docks and kaz carrying her to the ferolind and inej says "Say you're sorry" and kaz doesn't know what for but it was because he called inej replaceable, "I need your skills, Inej. That's not the same thing. You may be the best spider crawling around the Barrel, but you're not the only one. You'd do well to remember it if you want to keep your share of the haul," scene because in the show, he admits to Inej "She isn't like you, no one is" and says sometime later in the season "I need you" to her. i don't know, i just feel some sort of remorse knowing we might not get that scene exactly that way anymore.

like i want kaz's backstory to be in their own show. i want the breaking matthias out of hellgate scene, which we only speculate will be in season 2, to be in their own show. all these important scenes and moments, i don't want them treated as side happenings of side characters because they are anything if that to me.

and i'm totally okay with whatever happened in season 1 but i'm really scared for season 2 how it might affect the potential crows show in the long-run.

i just want them to shine on their own.

#six of crows #soc #shadow and bone #sab s2 #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #nina zenik #matthias helvar #what do i put in the tags #essay

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jadequeen88 · 4 years

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Accidental Valentine

◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈

This is my fic for The Citrus Dome Server Lover’s Day Literature Collab! Please go check out The Masterlist and support all of the amazing artists and writers that have contributed.🖤

A/N: WHEW guys... I don’t think I’ve put this much work into a fic EVER. I’ve been feeling pretty bad about my body and wanted to write a reader who struggled with it as well. Who better to boost your confidence than DILF Kiri feeding your praise kink?! I was heavily influenced by this amazing drabble by @rat-suki and got permission to use it as my inspiration for this fic.🖤 (for reference, reader is 30 and Kirishima is 42)

Thanks to @afictionalwhore and my dear friend Orchid for the beta read!🖤

RetiredProHero!Kirishima x YoungerF!Reader

Word Count: 5.3k

TW: size difference, oral (both receiving), daddy kink, praise kink (lots and lots of praise), TBH the sex is pretty vanilla but very passionate, both are insecure about their bodies.

When you trudged into work this morning, you didn’t ever dream of meeting your childhood idol/crush, but here you are, staring up at a beautiful mountain of a man. Eijiro Kirishima, or retired pro hero Red Riot, had never come into your coffee shop before and you’d never imagined he would. He was huge. Nearly 7 ft tall and built like a brick house. His hair was back to his natural black with flecks of silver at his temples and hung long and wild around his shoulders. He had on a pair of glasses and wore a dark maroon sweater and jeans.

Even though he’s aged, he looks just as handsome as the young man you fell for as a girl.

The year he made his debut, you were only six, and like most other six-year-olds, you idolized the pro heroes. Most of your friends loved Deku or Dynamite, but you always loved Red Riot. His smile, warmth, and his fiercely protective nature made your tiny heart burst with admiration. Throughout his hero career, you kept up with all of his interviews, the battles he’d been in, the awards he’d won, and his hero rankings. You’d also gotten as much merch as possible over the years and still wore your worn-out, oversized Red Riot t-shirt to sleep in. When he retired a couple of years ago, you still scanned articles online trying to gather bits and pieces of information about the hero, but he wasn’t one to seek out the spotlight. You think that’s probably why he’d always been your favorite. He was a true hero. Serving the citizens and keeping them safe was his top priority. You didn’t want to admit it, but you kept up with him for one main reason… You wanted to know if he was seeing anyone.

You remember being eaten up with jealousy when you’d see his arm around another woman going to galas and award ceremonies. Your sixteen-year-old brain knew that of course, he’d date women. He was a grown man and a pro hero. But your heart would ache, wanting to be the one his soft eyes and pointy-toothed grin was fixed on.

Now those same eyes were fixed on you, his mouth moving and forming words, but you were too star-struck to hear what he was saying. When you snapped out of your daze and remembered you were supposed to be taking his order, you were mortified.

“I-I’m so sorry sir! Could you please repeat that?”

“Sure thing!” his bright smile was hypnotizing, “Just a venti-sized flat white. Have you had your coffee yet? Ya looked a little far away there for a second, kid.”

Your heart leaped at the little nickname. “Yeah, sorry about that! I guess I should get a couple of shots of espresso in me before I try to be productive.” You chuckle nervously as you scribble his order on the cup and turn to make his drink.

“Oh, uhh…” he peeks around the counter to get your attention, “Do you need my name? For the order?”

You freeze realizing you forgot basic, barista 101 etiquette…

“Actually,” you face him, a sheepish grin on your face, avoiding eye contact, “I know your name. You… umm, were my favorite hero,” you blush, and your eyes widen in embarrassment, “you know when I was a kid...”

You turn back to your work, kicking yourself for being so awkward.

“Really? I think you’re the first person to recognize me since ya know,” he circled his head with his pointer finger, “I stopped dying my hair..”

You turned your head to peer up at him through your dark lashes, a light dusting of blush still on your cheeks, “Well, I like it. It looks good on you.”

The retired pro’s heart was bursting at how damned cute you were. Was this pretty, young girl… embarrassed? Over him?! He watched your tiny hands move as they worked on his drink order, wondering how small they’d feel grasped in his massive ones. Your soft hair caught in the sunlight making you look like a literal angel and he sighed. You reached up to grab a canister from the top shelf and a sliver of soft skin between your t-shirt and jeans peeked through. His gaze became far away and he damn near drooled at the sight. Just how long had it been since he’d touched another woman? Kirishima wasn’t one for casual flings. He always got too invested in whoever he was seeing. So when he and his long-time girlfriend broke things off a couple of years ago, he wasn’t rushing back into the dating scene.

However, things were a little more… complicated than just not finding the right girl to commit to. He was getting older and it was starting to show. Over the past few years, he’d lost his confidence. He’s bulkier around the middle no matter what workouts or diets he tries. Overuse of his quirk has caused stretchmarks and scars all over his skin. He was starting to get crow’s feet and he was overall just TOO big and TOO hairy. He felt like some sort of gorilla walking around in human clothing. Kirishima isn’t stupid or trying to fool himself. A young, gorgeous thing like you wasn’t looking for anything from an old, washed-up man like him. But, fuck… It was nearly impossible for him to move his gaze away from your ass… Oh, the things he’d do to you if he were a few years younger...

You turned to look over your shoulder and notice his gaze… and it’s apparent that he’s checking you out. He looks like a man starved, eyes glued to your ass.

“Well, well, well… maybe he wasn’t so annoyed with my fangirling after all.”

When he realized you’d gone still, his eyes met yours and he quickly averted his gaze. His cheeks turned as red as his hair used to be. You busied yourself with the milk steamer to hide your big, goofy grin. With a new burst of confidence, you decide to take a chance and when you go to write his name on his to-go cup, you write

“Big Red <3”

You pause, bite your lip, and think to yourself, “why the hell not?” as you scribble your number underneath the nickname. You turn to give him his drink and your nerves almost make you retreat and make a whole new drink. Then he meets your gaze and your world stops spinning. His vermillion eyes crinkle at the edges as his scared lips turn upwards into a syrupy sweet smile.

When Kirishima takes his drink from you, your fingers brush his for the briefest second and he can tell they’re trembling. “Oh no, I hope I haven’t made her nervous or uncomfortable.” He wanted to go crawl in a hole… That was until he saw what you’d written on his cup.

He stammers, looking from the cup to your face like he’s checking to see if you’re pulling a prank on him or not. Before he can say anything, you bite your lip and look up at him.

“I’m off work this Sunday. Just… if you’d like to hang out or something.” your gaze shifts and you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.

After a moment or two, his face lights up in a huge grin. “Y-yeah, great!” he turns and walks a few steps, then turns around and motions at the cup, “So… I should just, ahh… text you?”

You giggle and it’s the sweetest sound he’s heard in a long time, “That would be nice, yeah.”

“Okay, great!... Talk later then!” He waves and leaves the coffee shop, feeling light as a feather and ten years younger.

*****

Sunday rolls around and you spend the morning making sure the place is cleaner than it’s been in weeks. Your place was small but cozy. For a fleeting moment, you’re a little insecure about how modest your apartment is. You don’t know exactly how wealthy pros are when they retire, but you know he’s more familiar with much nicer places than yours. You decide he probably knew just what to expect on a barista’s salary and tried to put it out of your mind. You checked on the cookies baking in the oven. When you found out through your text conversations that he loved chocolate chip cookies with the large chunks of dark chocolate baked in, you went out and bought everything to make them the same day. You kept watching over them like a hawk to avoid burning them. They still looked pretty gooey, so you decided it would be safe to get changed into something a little nicer. Just as you were about to turn the corner into your bedroom, your doorbell rang.

“Shit!” you looked at your phone and sure enough, you let time get away from you. He was here and you were still in your cropped leggings and t-shirt, sporting a messy bun and dirty apron. You groaned as you realized you couldn’t leave him on your doorstep while you changed. Defeated, you hurried to the door.

You opened the door, hoping that you at least didn’t have flour in your hair, and looked up into the much larger man’s eyes. The realization that THE Red Riot was standing this close to you made your stomach flutter and a goofy grin slide across your face. While you stood there star-struck, he broke the silence.

“Wow, it smells amazing in here!”

“Oh!” you jumped a little then promptly ran over to your oven, “Sorry! Please come on in!” you said over your shoulder as you were pulling your oven mitts on.

Kirishima walked into your cozy apartment and instantly felt at ease. He couldn’t pinpoint just what it was, but something about your place felt more like home than any place he’d ever lived before. As he finished scanning your apartment, his eyes landed on you taking the cookies out of the oven. The comfortable, domestic feel of the place coupled with your ass on full display as you bent down to remove the cookies from the oven had his jeans tightening. You stood up and he averted his gaze before you turned around, not wanting to get caught checking your ass out for a second time.

“Fair warning, I’m not a talented baker by any means,” you removed your oven mitts after placing the cookie sheets on the cooling rack and flashed a sly grin his way, “But when Red Riot tells you what his favorite cookies are… Ya kinda gotta make them, right?”

Oh… If you only knew how pent up this man was… he debated bending you over right then and there and fucking you until you couldn’t walk. He really hit the jackpot with you… a hot, younger woman with the perfect ass who bakes him cookies and for some reason thinks he hung the moon? Kirishima would have given you a ring right then and there if he didn’t think it would scare you off.

“Well,” he radiated warmth as he looked between you and the cookies cooling on the rack, “If you’re not the sweetest thing! I, ahh… might have gotten you a little something too.” he then held up a 6 pack of your favorite cider. “Because when Y/N, L/N tells you what her favorite cider is… Ya kinda gotta get her some.” he winked and you felt your knees buckle and your cheeks burn. You felt like you were in a fairytale.

Then you remembered that the princesses in fairytales definitely did not wear flour-riddled black leggings, old t-shirts, and dirty aprons.

“OH! Umm, I need to go get cleaned up. I’ll only be a minu-” his massive hand wrapped around your wrist as you walked past him. It covered half of your forearm and a shudder ran through you. You wanted those giant hands to roam every inch of your body.

“Please don’t,” his eyes were half-lidded and his voice was low, “...I think you look beautiful like this.” his calloused thumb traced little circles on your skin not meeting your gaze. His deep voice was impossibly tender.

Now that you’d felt his skin on yours, you couldn’t contain your churning desires any longer. You wanted, needed, more. Rising up on your tiptoes, you curled your fist into Kirishima’s shirt collar and pulled his face toward yours.

You felt him tense up for a moment, then relax into the kiss. His massive hands found purchase on your hips, digging into the pliant flesh there. A needy whimper caught in his throat spurring you on to deepen the kiss.

It was like your bodies were working around each other in perfect harmony… lips parting at a slow pace, like honey dripping from the edge of a spoon and tongues meeting in the middle to taste each other. You both savored the kiss for as long as you could, eyes lazily drifting open and shared breaths causing your hearts to dance out of your chests.

You saw him falter, his gaze dropping, and you feared that you overstepped.

“Kirishima I-“

“Ejiro,” he stopped you with a hand against your cheek, “Call me Eijiro…” his thumb caressed your bottom lip slowly, back and forth. His touch held so much devotion in it.

“Eijiro…” you sighed, looking up at him with pleading eyes, “I need you…”

The giant of a man before you swept you up into his arms and began walking down your hallway. You quickly wrapped your arms and legs around his hulking frame as if you were climbing a tree.

“Second door on the right,” you were panting into his neck, leaving sloppy kisses all over it.

You blew a cool stream of air along his damp skin and felt him shudder. A giggle bubbled up from your chest at being able to weaken a retired pro-hero known for being a human shield against the worst villains Japan has ever known. Your little stunt resulted in a grunt and a firm, warning squeeze to your thigh.

“So that’s what we’re doing today, huh?” he tosses you on the bed just hard enough to make you bounce up a little… then he’s on you, placing light kisses all along your neck as he prods your sides looking for a ticklish spot. You can’t remember the last time you laughed this hard and the fact that it was your idol drawing it from you made you dizzy with joy.

“Mercy! Mercy!” you were breathless and your abdomen ached from the forceful laughs Ejiro was pulling from you. He blew a raspberry on your neck as a final tease then relented, sitting up to meet your gaze.

You were absolutely smitten. You caressed the lines around his eyes and the scar that split his lips as your eyes roamed across his features. Every crease, every scar… you wanted to kiss them all. When his gaze faltered and he pulled away to sit beside you on the bed, the feeling you’d done something wrong resurfaced. You sat up beside him and placed your hand on his thigh.

“Eijiro…” your voice was barely above a whisper, “I’m sorry, I know I can come on a little strong sometimes, and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I just…” your eyes meet and his gaze is unreadable.

“No, no…” his ruby eyes drop to the floor, “It’s just that,” he chuckles nervously, “Well, it’s been a while. I’m not very good with casual flings and the like. So I don’t really date much…”

You rise to your feet and move to stand in front of him. Sitting in front of you on your bed, you’re only slightly below eye level with him. You place your tiny hands on his thick thighs and nudge them apart so you can slot your hips between them.

“When I told you that you were my favorite hero,” you reach for his wrist and remove the hair tie from it, “What that actually meant was that I’d watch the news every day just to make sure you were safe.”

Slender fingers move through his wild mane of silver-flecked hair untangling any knots, “It meant that when that villain with the sludge quirk put you in the hospital for a couple of days, my mom let me stay home from school because I was so distraught,” you pulled all of his untangled hair to the nape of his neck and began wrapping the hair tie around it.

“It meant that my silly sixteen-year-old heart would ache when I saw you hand in hand with a girl in a magazine going out on a date,” you grinned at how silly you felt admitting that. Once his hair was secured in a low ponytail, your hands trailed along his broad shoulders.

“Now that I’ve thoroughly embarrassed myself, I’ll get to the point.” your intense gaze held years of longing for the hero in front of you, “Nothing about this is casual for me.”

Tears pricked the corners of Kirishima’s eyes. Had anyone ever showed him this much tender devotion? All the years he’d taken beating after beating, a glorified human shield, content with leaving most of the game to his friends. He was all rough edges and bulk. He was the one doing the protecting every time. Even in his romantic relationships, he was the one who would give, and give, and give… never asking or expecting to be taken care of. Being handled with such care was utterly foreign to him and it stirred up a deep need he never knew was there.

“Eji…” his glassy eyes met yours, “Can I take care of you?” you sank to your knees, hands sliding up his thighs.

“Please…”

Your hands made quick work of his button and zipper. He shifted his hips upwards to help you ease his jeans down his thick thighs and you pulled his jeans and boxers down in one slow pull. Nothing would have prepared you for just how huge he was. Your eyes widened for a fraction of a second, wondering how you’d get that thing to fit inside your cunt, much less your mouth… but it was something you were eager to find out.

Looking up at him from under your dark lashes, you made a show of lewdly licking your lips. You flattened your tongue and drug the wet muscle from his base right above his neatly trimmed patch of black hair, all the way to the swollen, red tip of his head. You felt the powerful muscles in his thighs clench as his head rolled back and a delicious moan escaped his open mouth. Making your hero come undone with one lick to his cock was intoxicating.

“Fuck, baby…” Kirishima fisted the sheets praying he wouldn’t come just from your teasing. He’s not sure his pride could handle it. It became a very real threat when he dared to look down at you kissing and licking all up and down his length. Once your mouth had gotten him wet enough, your soft hands joined your warm mouth in worshiping his cock. You met his gaze as you kissed his tip and licked up the pre that was escaping in pearlescent beads. When you had teased him to your contentment, you swallowed him down as deep as your throat would allow, wrapped your hand around his base, and moaned.

Kirishima had many blowjobs in his life. In fact, he’d had some that he would say were pretty amazing… but in all his adult life, he’d never been so thoroughly and enthusiastically devoured like this. He threaded his fingers of one hand in your loose bun and fisted your bed sheets in his other to ground himself. After a minute or two, he felt his release creeping up much faster than he wanted.

He placed his hands on either side of your face causing you to stop bobbing your head and look up at him. He ran his thumb against your swollen bottom lip and you leaned into his tender touch. He bends forward and places a kiss on the top of your head.

“Lay down on the bed,” he whispers into your hair. Nerves starting to catch up to you, you shook slightly as you stood from your spot on the floor. Before you lay down, you remember to take your apron off then lay on your pillows, heart pounding awaiting further instruction.

Kirishima hovers over you reminding you yet again just how tiny you are compared to him. His warm hand covers your knee and slowly travels up your thigh, stopping right before he meets your throbbing core. He runs his hand back down your thigh to gently nudge your knees apart. Leaning on his forearms, he positions himself between your thighs and you gasp at the friction created where your bodies meet. While planting tender kisses on your neck, he whispers, “I need you to promise that you’ll tell me if I need to stop or if something doesn’t feel okay. Can you do that?”

“Y-yes…” you moan as he nibbles on your earlobe, teasing with his sharp teeth but not breaking your skin.

“Mmm,” he places sweet kisses all along your jaw, your breath catching in your throat, “Good girl.”

Receiving praise from him made your chest swell. You wanted nothing more than to please this man you were rapidly falling for. He sat up, legs folded under his body, and slowly slid his hands under the hem of your oversized t-shirt. You felt his hands still on your stomach and looked up from where you were laying on your pillows to see what had made him freeze.

He met your gaze with a devilish grin, “Baby girl…” his thumbs run small circles on your skin, “Did you wear this for me?”

When you realize what he’s talking about, you hide your face and groan into your hands. You completely forgot that you were still in your old Red Riot t-shirt that you usually slept in. “Oh my god, this is so embarrassing!” you mumbled behind your palms.

Kirishima chuckled and shushed you, “No, no, no… This is the sexiest thing you could have possibly worn.” He pulls the hem of your t-shirt up to expose your tummy, burying his face in the soft skin there. Gentle kisses were placed all along the waistline of your leggings, every squishy part and every little stretchmark that decorated your skin like tiny spiderwebs were lovingly caressed with his plush lips. Having the part of your body you were the most self-conscious of worshiped like this felt more vulnerable than sex.

As the kisses traveled higher, they became sloppier and more desperate. You lifted your arms to allow him to remove your shirt, exposing your plain white cotton bra. The feel of his stubble against your skin as he moaned into your cleavage sent shivers down your body. Instead of paying attention to your neglected nipples, his warm mouth carved a path up the column of your throat, head thrown back to give him as much access as possible.

Kirishima whispered against the tender skin under your earlobe, “This okay, baby?” two large fingers dip into the front of your leggings. You nod enthusiastically, unable to form a coherent answer, “Mmm… I need words, sweet thing. You can do that for me, can’t you?”

“Yes… it’s more than okay,” your chests are touching as he works his hand down the front of your pants.

When Kirishima’s thick fingers slid between your drenched folds, you arched your back and grasped his forearm. Slowly, he spread your slick around, dancing past your clit with each stroke. His teasing was turning you into a whimpering mess underneath him.

He had all the time in the world and having you melt underneath his touch was the best way he could hope to spend it. After what felt like an eternity of him gently brushing against you, only slightly dipping into your needy hole and barely grazing your clit, you were openly panting and whining. A steady stream of praises flowed from his lips.

“You’re such a pretty girl… such a pretty little pussy.”

“Look at how wet you are for me. Like this, huh? My pretty girl likes my fingers teasing her?”

“I can’t wait to lick my fingers clean. You’re gonna taste so sweet.”

You were so worked up that tears began to form in your eyes, “Eji… I-“

“Hmm? What is it, baby girl? Need something?” His finger drags around your clit slowly, adding a fraction more pressure.

“Please, I need more Eji,” your nails digging into his forearm were leaving little crescents in his thick skin.

“Sweet girl,” he meets your mouth with a slow, wet kiss, “you can have whatever you want.”

Without hesitation, he sits up and pulls your leggings down with your panties. A groan rattles his large chest when he sees a thread of your slick attached to the crotch. Once his face is buried in between your thighs, it’s a real possibility he might come just from eating you out.

All the teasing had brought him to the edge as well and he was out of patience. With a few hurried kisses to each thigh, he dove into your dripping cleft. His tongue plunged into your core as he nudged his nose into your puffy clit.

You cry out and convulse around his face. His arms wrap around your thighs, firmly but gently holding your legs open to give him full access to eat you as thoroughly as possible. When he moves to suck your clit, you know you won’t last much longer. As he nurses on your sensitive nub, you feel the familiar tightening in your lower body. He picks up on this and moans into your skin as he greedily sucks.

“Ahh… Ahh, I’m- I’m gonna….”

“Oh that’s it,” he encourages you by praising you and massaging your thighs in his massive hands, “let me have it, baby girl. Come on, I’ve got you, I’ve got you.”

Your toes curl and back arches as you’re thrown over the edge. “Oh FUCK!! Coming, coming…. ooooh god… ahh D-daddy!…”

“Daddy, is it? Goddamn”

Kirishima felt his dick twitch and his breath caught in his throat.

He wipes his face on the back of his hands and makes a show of licking his fingers clean as he leans over you, nose touching yours.

“What was that baby?” His voice was strained as he pressed his dick into the warm, damp skin of your thigh…

You bat your lashes and ghost your lips over his as you whisper, “Daddy… please let me ride you. I need you inside me.” The nail in Kirishima’s coffin was when you licked his bottom lip then quickly followed with a chaste kiss.

You waste no time wrapping your thighs around his waist and twisting. He follows your lead and lays flat on his back letting you straddle him. You grab the hem of his shirt and similarly tease him, leaving a trail of kisses along his broad stomach. Kirishima flinches a little, self-conscious of his skin and how soft his middle had gotten over the years. You meet his eyes as you pull his shirt over his broad shoulders and run your hands back down his body.

“Mmm, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted this,” hands and eyes roamed over the expanse of skin in front of you, “It’s even better than in my dreams.”

He wondered for the hundredth time how got this lucky. You really loved his body? Maybe… maybe he wasn’t in as bad of shape as he thought…

“No,” his hands rubbed your hips, kneading your soft skin, “You’re better than I’d ever hoped to find.” He sits upon the headboard and pulls you closer into his lap, “Now,” he pulls your hair free of the messy bun, “Can you be a good girl and come on my cock?”

You lift your hips and place his tip at your entrance. That alone caused a delicious stretch and you knew it would be a slow process getting him to fit comfortably.

“Yes, Daddy,” your hands wrapped around his neck and he growled as he pulled you into a rough kiss.

“Good fuckin girl.”

He helped lower you onto his cock with lots of kisses, praises, and gentle squeezes. When you got closer to his base, the pain was too much for a moment. Kirishima used his thumb to rub circles into your clit, shushing you sweetly against your parted mouth.

“Are you okay, baby?” He brushes your hair off your sweaty forehead with his free hand while his other is still working your clit over.

“Yes, Daddy,” you whisper, “You fill me up so well. I love your massive cock filling me up.”

“You’re gonna make me crazy, you know that? Huh?” He pulls your lower lip into his mouth and sucks. You both sit for a while, exchanging kisses and whispers while you adjust to his girth.

“Are you ready to move now, sweet girl?”

“Yes, Daddy…” he helps you move, dragging your hips up and down his shaft.

After a few deep thrusts, you both increase your pace, matching each other’s movements. It’s not long before your head is thrown back, tears escaping the corners of your eyes. Loud moans and curses escape your mouth as one nipple is pulled into Kirishima’s mouth.

“Oh, Daddy! Fuck, fuck! Right there, right there… I… I’m… AHH!” Before you can even say anything, you’ve come undone, spasming around his cock.

“Oh, good girl, good fuckin girl,” you go limp and bury your face into his neck while he slams your hips onto his, chasing his release. The feeling of him using your body to get off makes you dizzy with joy. You lean into his ear whispering, “Please come inside me. Wanna feel you come inside me, Daddy… please, need your come inside me, Daddy.”

Your slurred pleas against his ear send him over the edge into a mind-numbing orgasm. As he comes down from his high and looks into your face full of adoration, he knows he’s caught… hook, line, and sinker.

*****

The rest of the evening is spent eating cookies on your couch, drinking cider, and watching your favorite crime drama. The sweet kisses and touches sprinkled throughout the night feel so natural… Like you’ve been together for years instead of hours.

You end up with Kirishima’s head in your lap, running your fingers through his hair as he closes his eyes and relaxes into your touch. The clock on your wall reads 12:30 am and it dawns on you what day it officially is.

“Eji?”

“Hmm?” He opens one eye and reaches up to scratch your scalp.

“Will you be my valentine?” You bite your bottom lip to stifle a silly grin.

He sits up and pulls you into a bear hug.

“What kinda silly question is that? Of course. I don’t ever want another valentine besides you.”

Your heart explodes and you kiss him, grabbing his cheeks in both hands.

“Sixteen-year-old me is absolutely losing her shit right now,” you giggle, rubbing his nose with yours.

“Well,” he grabs your ass and raises an eyebrow, “Forty-two-year-old me is losing his shit right now over finding such a sweet girl with such a sweet ass on her,” he nips at your neck and you squeal.

“Ooh, you ready for another round, old man?”

He growls and throws you over his shoulder. A swift spank to your ass causes you to burst into a fit of laughter.

“Oh, so I’m dealing with a brat now? You want me to show you what this old man does to little brats?” He squeezes your thighs as he makes his way to the bedroom.

“But I’m your good girl! Remember?!”

“Yeah, yeah… We’ll see about that.”

#bnha #boku no hero academia #mha #my hero academia #bnha smut #kirishima eijirou x reader #kirishima x reader #eijirou kirishima #kirishima smut #dilf!kiri #tw praise kink #tw daddy kink #vanilla #body insecurity tw #jade writes smut

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justdaphne · 3 years

Text

So a while ago I told my cousin to watch Shadow and bone and turns out she did. BEFORE ME. Yea she didn’t wait for me whatever. BUT when I asked her abt the crows she straight up was like who? AND I WAS LIKE EXCUSE ME? so I showed her a picture of the crows and she was like “oh. So I skipped all those scenes with them” AND I WAS LIKE EXCUSE ME? WHO- WHAT HOW WHY. so as any sensible person who cares for their cousin, i forced her to rewatch the whole 8 episodes. (Tbh it makes sense if u haven’t read the books coz it’s abt shadow and bone and that’s whyyy our beloved crows need their own spin off show rn) *her favorite is still mal tho, not saying mal is a bad character show mal was mwah brilliant but favorite is a strong word lol esp when there’s mr brekker, mr fahey and ms ghafa*.

In conclusion: Six of crows need their own show rn

Thank you for reading my rant. xoxo

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raahosh · 4 years

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Type: Kaz Brekker x reader.

Fandom: Six of Crows.

Summary: I didn’t think about anything, just wanted to make something about Kaz kissing someone for the first time.

Warnings: Mostly fluff.

Authors note: This is something I came up talking to my friend and I thought “Why not?”, so I’m here.

Notes after I finished, I don't know if it's good, this one I'm really insecure so yeah good luck.

You didn’t think you would last, your vision was starting to shut, everything was a blur, and the only thing you could hear was some noises that you thought were people arguing... Or maybe discussing what they will do now, but that was something you didn’t have time to think about. Since that knife hit your stomach, the only thing passing through your mind was that you needed to stay up. You could not close your eyes, you were afraid that if you did, it was done, you were dead.

Kaz, on the other hand, was terrified. He passed his entire life through his eyes, he regretted every moment he had neglected you, every coffee he declined. He regretted every little moment he could, but he was not with you.

Your body was between Nina’s arms when Kaz shot his first bullet against the Black Tip guy. You are strong, a heartrender, to be more specific, a trained one, but it got you out of guard, you were drugged, so you could not use your powers, and then someone hit the back of your head with a stone.

After a couple of minutes you blacked out, and, the next moment, you woke up in a luxurious hotel room. You knew that place was the one you found on the other side of Ketterdam when Kaz told you to find some more places to hide, but... What were you doing here?

You heard steps coming from the bathroom. That’s when you tried to stand up in just one movement, but the pain stopped you with just one try. Your head was spinning, and your stomach was aching badly. Even though, you grabbed the first sharp thing you encountered.

But it was just Kaz leaving the bathroom. He was wet, not much but a little. When his gaze met yours and he saw that you were awake, a smile spread across his face and he came closer to you.

“I’m glad you woke up.” He said and in a blink, he was in front of you.

"For a second I thought I would die.” You stood up and grabbed Kaz’s hands.

He flinched but tried to stay still. His eyes were lying on yours, and his breathing started to get heavier. For the first time since he started with this life, he found himself without a plan, he couldn’t think of anything other than your proximity and your hands on his. It was a foreign feeling for him, Kaz encountered his head just thinking that you could have died and he wasn't able to do anything about it.

Kaz tried his best not to let the waters consume him, he wanted to have this moment with you, even more now that he got so close to really losing you. His breathing was disorganized. You noticed that and guessed it was because of your hands on his, the skin to skin touch, flesh against flesh.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to-” You were almost taking your hand off when he grabbed it tighter.

“No, s- stay.” You could feel him hesitant, but you stayed.

Kaz felt his heart beating fast, anxiety taking the good on him, but he tried to vanish with that feeling. When you put your hand on his face, he relaxed. Her fingers ran through his cheeks, feeling his warm skin and smiled. He knew that if he died at that moment, he would die happy and feeling like he did what he had to on earth already.

You took a step ahead, letting your breaths mix together, your gaze went to his mouth and his to yours. He didn’t know what to do, if he moved or just stayed still. Kaz was clueless about how moments like this went. He had answers for everything, but when it comes to Y/N, he was that little kid who still believed in love and trust in the middle of Ketterdam. He always had a backup plan but his time he didn't know what to do.

Seeing that Kaz wouldn’t do anything, neither go away nor make a move Y/N just broke the distance and kissed him.

Her lips were soft and Kaz was caught by surprise, but she didn’t move. Kaz thought about a lot of things between the kiss, but a part of him, a part he didn't know existed told him do just live the moment he's at. So, that was what he did.

He was afraid of doing it wrong, he have never kissed anyone before. For the first time, Kaz was scared of not knowing how to do it, he didn't want it to be a bad experience for you. But you were experienced and knew exactly how to do the best for him.

Y/N separated for a tiny moment. "Just follow your instincts." And then kissed him again.

She tried to command that, when her tongue slipped to his mouth slightly and slowly. Her hands went to meet his hair and his arms wrapped around her totally clueless of what to do but trying to follow what he thinks is the best. After that what he had done was total instincts, she was the head of the kiss but he wasn't far at all.

For a second he forgot how what was happening, for a second he didn't think about the water, the skin to skin contact, for a second he didn't think at all. All that went through his mind was how perfect you two were together, how your tongues intertwined in this pleasuring way and the way your hands caressed his hair.

When you two separated again Kaz was breathless, that's when he realized what he had done. The skin, flesh... But you were soft and he knew he couldn't waste any time longer when he saw you almost dying.

#kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker #kaz x reader #crooked kingdom #six of crows imagine #six of crows

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thedelusionreaderbitch · 3 years

Text

Romantic! Nina Zenik/Platonic! Kax Brekker x Brekker! fem! Reader - One's Path

A/n: Hey ya'll I did it! I answered a request! That wasn't at the bottom of my list... Well that sucks! Also this wasn't really proof-read because I'm tired so I'm sorry about that!

Warnings: Hints at suicide, reader prolly had anxiety and social anxiety, death, I think that's it? You have been warned!

Request: Can you do a nina zenik x fem! Reader who's Kaz's sister and just a lot of angst in genral plzz??? I love ur writing btw!

I do not own shadow and bone/six of crows or it's characters! I also do not own this gif!

"You know I love sunsets as much as you do- but don't you think this is a bit excessive?"

You turn around to face her with a small smile on your face, the sun framed Nina's body making her look like an angel. Even if she was anything but that. A saint maybe, but not an angel.

"Sunsets are the only thing that isn't covered up by the Ketterdam smog, I don't know if I would have survived this far without them." Your voice quietly trails off near the end of your sentence.

The weight of your words dawn on Nina and she quickly takes your hand in hers squeezing it in hope that it's reassuring you. Somehow.

"We'll get out of here, I promise."

You look over at her with tears glistening in your eyes.

"That's a pretty heavy promise to keep."

Yet Nina just nods entirely seriously pulling your hands away from hers but then she hooks your pinky finger with hers.

"I promise. And I'll show you all of Ravka and you'll get to meet the king and queen. Then we'll travel the rest of the world."

Giggling you lean forward pressing your lips onto hers for a brief kiss before pulling away.

"I'll hold you to that Zenik."

_______________

"Another bad day?" Your girlfriend walks over to you as you continue to pick at your nails not meeting her eyes.

"Yup."

"Would going out make it better?"

You quickly shake your head thinking about all the people who would be there, and there were already tones of people in the slat. Just thinking about going outside was already giving you anxiety - all the people would be looking at you then you would fuck up somehow and they would think that you're a blithering idiot.

Besides, there were no good sunsets in this part of town today.

Then, it was as if your whole view on all that changed when your brother walked by.

You felt your chest tighten up, the palms of your hands started to get clammy, and your breathing was starting to stagger a bit.

The thing was, you were nothing like your older brother. Kaz was ruthless and would do anything for getting a job done. He was fearless. You wish you could say the same thing about yourself, yet you always thought everything through, again and again. And again... Probably more times than Kaz himself does, wasting a whole lot of time.

Kaz had changed after Jordie died - you both had. Even so, you hadn't changed in the same way. You had become ridden with worries, thoughts, and voices that weren't always quite your own. Or some days when they were all just your voice those were the worst days.

While Kaz had become cold and uncaring that was the opposite of what you needed, you needed someone who could be there for you. Perhaps not all the time but even every now and then would be nice. Because that's what family is for right?

"On second thought maybe that is a good idea."

You swiftly go to stand up and the world spins for a second making you nearly topple over. You feel Nina's hands grab onto your arms right before you face plant into the wood of the shitty floor of the Slat.

"Thanks." You mutter as she quickly leads you out of the criminal-ridden building to the outside.

You could barely think about anything else now. The only thing you could think about was Kaz, yet even if he wasn't there for you he needed you. And you knew you'd probably never leave Ketterdam, not for now at least.

Looking over to Nina you smile slightly.

"Have I ever told you what an amazing girlfriend you are?" You breathe out as the both of you start walking randomly, aimlessly.

A grin spreads across Nina's face as she takes your hands in hers bringing you close.

"No, but care to show me?"

Smiling up at her you nod and bring her into a kiss.

It's full of love along with passion and every now and then you'd bite on her lips gently to tease her.

Finally, you both pulling away because air is suddenly a necessity. Laughing you look up to her as she engulfs you with her fiery yet soft embrace.

_____________

Shots ran across the city as the enemy gang was getting closer and closer. Too close for comfort.

"Nina! Now!" Kaz yells at her to use her badass death powers.

Coming out from behind a building Nina lifts her hands and corpse's previously alive people from not very long ago rise from the ground doing whatever is the corpses witch's bidding.

The enemy gang yells and screams ring across the alleyways like church bells chiming. But you know they're not all dead not yet.

Pulling out your gun for its holster you take a breath steadying yourself before jumping into action.

Shoots rang out from all directions as the Crows kill every rival gang member insight. Their bodies either dropping to the ground unconscious or dead. Most likely the latter.

The excitement was starting to get to you, you had done jobs before but they had never given this... Rush. The adrenaline was pumping through your veins and you became for the first time in a long time careless.

That was your mistake.

A bullet was fired in your direction but you didn't give yourself enough time to dodge it and you could hear your name being pulled from Nina's lips screaming as if she was in pain.

But the bullet never hit you.

Being shoved to the side you topple on the ground leg bending in a unnatural way before nearly screaming out in pain. You wince instead and you glance to the side hoping - praying to find some rival gang member shot. Only to find your brother with a bullet to the head.

Your brother who was cold and uncaring, your brother who did everything calculating with careful steps that didn't take that long, had taken his own life to save yours.

This time all you do scream, but this time it's in rage.

You start to fight everyone who's in your way because why did it even matter? All your family is officially dead now and Nina could find someone else better if she really wanted to! There was no point. Not anymore.

________________

"You look an awful lot like your brother. You even have the leg to prove it."

You still all your movements and right then is where you very nearly kill the king of Ravka yet you calm yourself listening to a voice in your head that tells you to do that later.

"I'm here for Nina Zenik, and if you don't tell me where she is then our deal is off."

Nikolai sighs before launching into a long very fake story about why she wasn't at the little palace, if even she was very much in fact at the little palace.

Oh, fuck it.

You throw a knife at his head and it leads in the middle of his right eyeball but if through far enough that it still kills him.

"Y/n! Seriously did you have to kill the king! I liked him!" A very annoyed female voice echos through out the room.

"He was annoying me." You say flatly as she walks over to you.

"You know all this revenge stuff is getting to you - I can tell. Do you really think it's necessary? Don't you think Kaz would want you to just finally be happy?"

At the mention of your older brother's name you nearly burst into tears for a brief second before building your wall up again. Your brother deserved vengeance, after everything he had gone through only to never obtain it? You owed him that much, at least.

"Kaz isn't here, though is he?"

And with those simple words you start walking out of the comprised little palace with Nina in tow and the ghosts of your family haunting your way. Your path for revenge.

Words 1347

-thedelusionreaderbitch

Shadow and bone taglist: @kaqua @rika90 @thefandomplace @musical-theatre-obsessed-dumbass @gallysonegoodlung @navs-bhat @sumsebien @dontjudgeabookbythecover @brekker-zenik @alohastitch0626

#nina zenik #six of crows #kaz brekker #shadow and bone #inej ghafa #grishaverse #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #nina zenik x reader #nina zenik imagine #nina zenik supremacy #the crows #kaz brekker x reader #grishaverse x reader #the dregs #okay I'm done now :)

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