#i need them to be gone immediately i am tired of green beans already

[flippedorbit]

if I have to have green beans one more time I’m gonna fucking kill someone

[forever-rogue]

Gotta another idea for you (I think? Don't know if I already submitted this)

Anyway.

"Take it off . . . Or I will."

Maybe the oc/reader is wearing something sarcastically or mocking - a hat, t-shirt, or what have you. And oc/reader would respond with "Make me" and it ended up a wrestling match of a sort then make out session?

Ohhh, I enjoyed this and I hope you all do too ;)

The Mandalorian Masterlist

»»————-　♡　————-««

He was supposed to be back within 3 days. 3 days.

It was going on 5. 5 kriffing days without your Mandalorian Tin Can.

Not you were worried. Sort of. Maybe. A little bit.

More so than anything else you were bored. Bored and stuck on the ship in the middle of nowhere. You couldn't even leave and go and anywhere. Luckily you had the small green bean with you but still.

You missed the grumpy, disgruntled Mandalorian. The kid was great and all but he even he was missing Din.

Part of you was wondering if he was doing on it on purpose, just to get a rise out of you. He'd done it before...just not, you know, for days.

Maker.

As much as you trusted him and knew be could handle himself, there was a tiny part of you that was worried. You hated the effect he had on you sometimes.

Normally you accompanied him on business, as his right hand...person. Friend? Partner? Lover? You'd never really put a label on your relationship, and sometimes it left you wondering. The line between just being work partners had become thinner and thinner over time and what had started off as a one time deal ended becoming a...very often type of deal.

You'd promised you wouldn't catch feelings. But that had happened a long time before your first night spent tangled up together. Not just for you, but for your Mandalorian too. The Mandalorian. Not yours. Just the.

But...kriff. Here you were. Missing him and worried about him. You'd get him back for that later. Now all you could do was wait for him to get back. You could go out and look for him, you supposed, but then you'd have to take the baby and you weren't about to subject him to anything dangerous if you didn't need to. And you had no clue what awaited you in the lawless land.

Instead you waited around. And waited. And waited. And cleaned the ship from top to bottom. Made some of the small repairs you spied. Made sure the weapons were pristine and properly stored away. You were tired - listless. But sleep wasn't going to come to you. It hadn't come in more than a few hours here and there since Din had left.

Instead you focused on your green bean, making sure he was bathed and had a full belly before trying to singing him softly to sleep. It took a while, but not long enough. Not long enough for Din to make a grand reappearance.

Once he was tucked safely into his pram for the night you found yourself wandering aimlessly. You sneaked into Din's quarters. Sneaked was a strong word; it wasn't like you weren't in there on a semi regular basis. But without him...it felt odd. Wrong even.

But you missed him, ached for him both mentally and physically. His presence was often the only thing that kept you feeling safe and sane.

Opening the door to the small space he called a wardrobe, small sigh escaped your lips at the familiar smell. No matter how often his clothes were washed, his scent always clung to them. It was comforting, reassuring in the times he was gone. Touching over some of the worn fabrics, you wondered what would happen if you happened to take a shirt and wear. It would only be for a little while...and you'd put it back before he came home. He wouldn't even notice.

So you pulled one of long sleeves out and quickly discarded your own shirt, opting to wear the Mandalorian's. Immediately you felt a sense of warmth and comfort wash over you. Maybe he wasn't there physically, but this was pretty close. It would do for now.

Eventually, despite the late hour, you were still wired. Maybe you shouldn't have had all that caf earlier, but it was too late to regret those decisions.

Instead you turned the holo-radio, playing some music softly as you danced around the hull of the Crest. It was a vain attempt to wear yourself out, and you were in nothing but Din's shirt and your underwear, totally engrossed in the music.

So engrossed that you didn't hear the ramp open or the purposely heavy footsteps of one Din Djarin.

Din chucked his gear onto one of the nearby crates, before deciding to wait and see how long it took for you to notice his presence.

While you didn't hear him, you could practically feel the gaze of his helmet burning holes into your back. When you finally turned to face him, his arms were crossed over his broad chest, his head tilted to the side. Kriff.

"D-Din! You're back," you almost stumbled over your own feet at you stared back at him. Your heart was fluttering as you tried to determine whether he was happy, angry, or...something. Your smile was flattering as you followed his gaze and realized he was staring at your chest, "oh! I didn't...think you were...coming back tonight."

"I said 3 days," his voice was rough and gritty, as tantalizing as it was when he was growling in your ear under the cover of dark while he was inside you. That alone was enough to send a shiver down your spine.

"Its been 5," your resolve was already weakening as he took a step closer.

"Exactly," his intense gaze was already starting to make you weak in the knees, "you should have been expecting me anytime."

"I-I-I..." you backed up but soon hit the wall and found yourself trapped, "didn't..."

"Is that my shirt?" he tugged at the collar with his gloved hand as you swallowed thickly. The room was filled with nothing but pure tension, sexual tension, as you stared at him wordlessly. When you remained silent, he roughly, although not hard enough to do any lasting damage, grabbed your chin and turned your face up to meet his, "I asked you a question, sweet one. Is. That. My. Shirt?"

"Mhmm," you mumbled as you looked at with the widest and most innocent eyes possible.

"Take it off," he said sternly. If you didn't know him, didn't know about your relationship with him, you might have been scared. But you weren't. You knew right where this was going. You gave him a defiant little look before catching him off guard and ducking out from under his arm.

"No," you insisted, sticking out your tongue at him, just to rile him up a little bit, "what are you doing to, Big Bad Mandalorian?"

"Take it off," his voice was low and dangerous as he came back to you, "or I will."

"That doesn't sound much like a threat," you raised your arms up, letting the fabric ride up and expose some of your soft bare skin, "come and take it off then."

"You are such a brat sometimes," he sighed before slowly stripping off some of his armor.

"And what about it?" you teased as he came over and you started to dart out of his grasp. But it didn't take much for his long legs to catch up as he wrapped an arm around your waist, and quickly flipped off the lights, leaving the Crest in darkness.

"Such an easy catch," he snorted as you tried to squirm out of his grasp laughing as you wrestled him to floor. Of course, if he'd been trying at all, he'd never let you get the one up on him. But he easily acquiesced and let you pin him to the ground as you straddled his waist. His large hands made quick work of pulling off your, his, shirt and throwing it onto the floor.

"Maybe I wanted to be caught," you grinned at him, despite the darkness as his hands found purchase on your waist, "I was worried."

"About me?"

"Who else, Tin Can?" you as you leaned down, hands going to the sides of his helmet. When he didn't stop you, you slowly pulled it off and set it to the side, "you were gone for too long."

"Getting all soft on me?" his rich, warm voice was like music to your ears as you leaned down and kissed him, finding his lips warm and soft, "I was fine."

"I am not soft," you instead as you kissed every part of his face before going back to his lips. A hand went to the back of your neck as he held you tightly against him, his own kisses becoming more and more heated. You paused for a moment, running a hand through his mussed curls, "just don't be gone that long next time. Or tell me if you'll be longer, or send a message or something."

"Fine," he promised as he pulled off his gloves and stroked your cheek. You keened into his touch before going back to kissing him again, "softie."

"Shut up," you insisted weakly as you held onto him as tightly as possible, already feeling relieved that he was back and safe in your arms, "I know you missed me too."

"How so?"

"You always do," you insisted, "I can tell- the way you kiss me. Its different and I can feel it."

"And what about it?" he repeated lightly as you groaned your hips against his, "tell me what you need, sweet one."

"You, Din. I need you."

"And then you shall have it."

[leaveharmony]

The Rate My Villagers post absolutely no one asked for: post-Rocket edition (...there is no Rocket edition)

Leopold: 

10/10 The best boy.  Leopold was my first camper, which I have now learned means he could not have been rejected even if I had intended to, but I did actually not mean to say COME LIVE HERE right away!  I was just excited to have a visitor, and also it was a Cool Lion, and he immediately reminded me of Tana.  Also he was eating a doughnut, which made him even more endearing.  I love his entire design, from the green Tana hair that sometimes from behind makes me think he’s just part of a tree and sometimes has resulted in me running up to say hello to an unrelated tree that is not in fact him, to his sleepy eyes, to his big broad nose, to his little wee Lennon glasses, to the fuzzy lil ears that MATCH his toe beans in a dazzling display of coordination that is the envy of people who merely match their bags to their shoes.  No other lions, nor smugs, will ever be required on Kentanna because the positions are 100% filled.  He has never asked to leave but if he slid the dodos seven million bells in the dead of night to fly him away they would know I’d double the fee to keep him, circle the island a few times and land back at the dock, where I’d be waiting to give him a new hat.

(Everyone else under the cut)

Big Top:

10/10 Oh my god.  The first villager I chose, if I remember correctly; when the first three plots opened up after Cobb and Rocket were assigned.  I don’t remember if he was the first one I found, but I do distinctly recall saying “Oh my god, it’s an elephant,” and being instantly delighted.  It’s funny because almost everything that irritated me about Rocket’s design is wonderful on Big Top; wearing hats over his helmets, the little green suit never coming off...I think it’s just because elephants are inherently funny.  Like the other ones on the superhero team...the cat, the squirrel, Rocket, they just look silly, but it works on Big Top because elephants can get away with anything.  Love his laid back eyes and his mouth being off to one side, excellent tail, points for traditional elephant colouring.  He is never leaving.

Cobb: 

10/10 ok listen.  Listen.  I was dealt two starters by the gods, and Rocket was a disaster, but Cobb amused me as soon as I saw him.  He’s a green pig.  That’s fantastic!  I lost my entire mind the first time I saw him sitting under a tree reading and realized that it isn’t his glasses/goggles making him look like he has blank yellow eyes...his eyes are just blank and yellow.  His snout is so enormous that when he looks down I can’t see his mouth and I cannot tell you how cute it is, but I also love how wide his mouth actually is under normal circumstances.  When he does his exercises, his left ear flops...but only the left one.  The first thing Cobb did was give me a hat; my first hat, and he has had my sword ever since.

Miranda:

10/10.  Do you even know how badly I wanted a duck, though?  It was my number one wishlist item, and one day I just crawled through that tent flap and there was a fucking pink duck in there, casual as anything about being representative of all my hopes and dreams.  She has apple cheeks!!  She’s wearing eyeshadow!  LOOK AT HER LITTLE DUCK PATOOT!  It sticks out just like that no matter what she wears 😭 When she walks on stone there are little pap pap pap noises and she prefers elegant little dresses.  I’d die for her.

T-Bone:

10/10. I forget in which order T-Bone came to us, but I do recall I’d just set up the plot and intended to go looking for someone to fill it when I realized it was Sold already.  ‘Sold already!??’  I said.  ‘How can this be, I did not authorize this!  Who the hell is T-Bone!  I shall have a stern word with that loose cannon tanuki!’  And then it was just like.  Oh he’s a bull!  And the first thing he did was compliment my dress.  His place was classy, he sounds like Tenzan which is twice as funny because he’s a bull, I like the blue/grey, his minimalist eyes are very good...I just...loved him instantly?  And I know there are several other valid crankies but tbh I look at T-Bone and it’s...my friend T-Bone, not some strange wolf or anteater or bear.  His head is peanut-shaped and I love him more than I love my own father.

Flurry:

10/10.  My first Normal villager was, and it’s kind of telling that I can never remember how to spell her name, Rhoda or Rhonda, the rhino.  I picked her!  She seemed cool I guess, kinda neat.  She was also the first to ask to leave, and since I hadn’t yet formed an emotional attachment I decided I’d let her, so it was time to go hunting.

It was raining.  Little ears appeared on the horizon, flanking a small rain hat.  She had her back to me.  “Yes, good,” I said.  “Continue.”

Flurry emerged in the gloomy light like Athena springing from the head of Zeus. I had no idea what the fuck she was.  A cub?  A really short bear?  Back then I wasn’t sure I could talk to them without inviting them and I wanted a Normal type, but I did not know her name.  A little googling later, realization dawned.

“Hamster!  HAAAAMMMMSSSTTTEEERRRRRRRR” I desperately pm’d to @breadclubrising​, who justly laughed at me.

Look at her.  She is so fucking smol.  She has no nose!  Her mouth is an inverted child’s drawing of a distant seagull.  In certain moods her eyes turn white, and one time she got mad at Big Top for spoiling her book and she was just...stomping around with steam shooting out her ears in the world’s tiniest tantrum.  Do you know how much effort it must take to stomp with legs that short??  That is my Flurry, full of determination.

Cheri:

10/10.  Cheri preceded Flurry, which was why I thought she might be a weird cub at first.  One of the initial 3 after the starters, so her house is, like Big Top and Cobb’s, all wrong on the inside.  Again, I chose her on the hunt ‘cos she met the criteria of smol and adorable and a type I did not yet have.  I am tremendously fond of her but I think I can let her move on to delight someone else who will also be totally unprepared for a small pink bear with anime eyes to stroll out from behind a tree and declare that they are a Friend.

Clay:

10/10.  I was tired, my arm was sore, I was so, so tired of taking mystery tours.  The types were all accounted for, so whoever I found would end up a secondary.  Oddly, it was raining again.   “Oh NO!” I said, when Clay turned around.

Another hamster.  Oh my god, another hamster.

Listen I want to give Roald a shot to penguin the place up, I really do.  But...the thing is...look at Clay.  Look at him!  That is his default poncho, actually, I think the only default outfit I have apart from Bree’s.  This...hippie lookin’ golem hamster, I love him.  The design is so good??  He’s a little piece of caveman pottery, only a hamster.  I love his dots, and I love that the ears are such a vivid aqua to contrast with all the neutrals.  The slit eyes are very good.  There’s no reaction that makes him do it so I cannot demonstrate but when he sings sometimes his mouth makes a perfect round ‘o’

I have lost him 84 times because he’s short and blends in with trees and cliffsides.

Pinky:

10/10 damnit lol.  Pinky was another “Ok, close enough” hunt gone terribly right.  I love that she is ENORMOUS, like I think she’s even taller than T-Bone.  She’s such a great vivid pink, her toe beans contrast so well with it...she’s a panda, what more do I even need to say?  If I was going to keep an additional Peppy after ordering Ketchup I think it’d be Pinky rather than Cheri, which is wild considering you’d think it’d be the other way around.  But I really dig how tall she is vs how tiny all the other girls are...

Bree:

9/10.  I’m not gonna lie, Bree is a stopgap measure.  It could have as easily been Norma or Judy or any of the other randoms I happened across before I got sick of looking for Muffy.

But as stopgaps go, she is a fucking stellar one, eh?  Look at that tiny little body, I could leapfrog her if I wanted to!  The size!  Of the fucking ears!  Just amazing.  She cannot face the direction of the wind lest it blow her into the sea.  Love the hair, love the big green eyes, the blush, the tail.  She is just...very pleasing overall.  The score is 9/10 only because her head is so candy corn shaped that hats just kinda sit on the top and it looks ridiculous; Rocket had the same problem but had none of the cute that makes up for it.  If I could have like,15 villagers, I may even consider keeping her, but alas she is here only until I get my mitts on some amiibos.  I will enjoy her company until then. 🥰 

[mxrcayong]

let it unfold - chapter seven

chapter seven

day twenty-eight (still):

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you dart so fast.” Katie hoped to lighten the mood as she came in to the flat, seeing Mark coddled surrounded by blankets on the couch; watching random, stupid television.

Mark sighed, “I’m sorry. I just thought about what you said you wanted to do the fir-.”

“Hey, don’t be sorry.” Katie said sympathetically as she dropped the groceries she bought on the counter of the kitchen, “Never be sorry with me. Especially for that. You don’t control that.”

He groaned, “But I do! I should’ve been more careful! I didn’t want you to get hurt.” Katie looked into his eyes from across the room; Mark looked broken, and it didn’t help he was presumably fresh out the shower and looked so small on the couch, drenched in large blankets. “I shouldn’t have forgotten who I was.”

“Mark, no.” She quickly interjected, her voice becoming serious. He only ever hear her use this voice once before and that was when her boss called her about something to do with a kids behavior. “You are Mark Lee. You are a human like every one of us. Paparazzi here, yeah – they’re shittier than the ones in Korea, but you do not control them. None of this was your fault.” As she was saying this, she approached him so that she was now sitting in front of him. “You are Mark Lee. The Canadian-Korean boy who knows just how to make his friends burst out laughing,” make my heart race, she thought, “and who just so happens to be fucking talented at dancing and singing and rapping” and incredibly good looking, she thought to herself once more.

Mark didn’t know how to respond; he knew if he didn’t say anything and if the two remained in this position, he might do something he’ll regret and kiss her. “What did you buy?” He asked, his voice small and fragile.

“I bought dough, Soju, beer, cheese, tomato sauce, noodles, chicken broth, ramen, and so much more so we can get your mind off of this and we can cook your favorite foods and some pizza for a movie night.” She smiled, “And then we should probably go to the gym tomorrow but we can make even more food tomorrow.”

day twenty-nine

Mark wanted to get used to waking up with Katie in his arms. He practically begged her to stay the night prior but seeing her in the morning; with her hair in literal knots and her face showing all of her perfect imperfections – made his heart swell and reminded him this was a good decision.

He woke up earlier than he has been this trip; and spent most of that time thinking about the girl in his arms. He has felt how he’s been feeling around her before; but never this intense. He guesses its because romantic relationships has never been a priority with him – just performing was. But now, as it’s the forefront; all he wants to do is kiss her. He has the urge to be able to call her his. He sees her and sees something that he thinks is too good, too pure to be on this world – and she’s in his arms. He wants her to be there forever.

“Stop staring, you creep.” She mumbled, adjusting in her sleep. “Go back to sleep.” He chuckled at her sleep-heavy voice.

“I will,” He sighed, “in a bit.” He reached out and felt for his phone and immediately was greeted by an influx of messages from the NCT boys – the only people from SM he didn’t currently block.

Jaehyun: I think you’d want to know…dispatch and the news outlets here found the photos of you two

It was when he logged onto the NCT twitter he saw that #MarkLeeGirlfriend was trending. Fuck.

day thirty

Mark couldn’t feel luckier that the person he was with right now was Katie; who already knew he wanted to lay low and just stay in the AirBnB until it all blows over, even if it means spending their last days – originally planned to visit the valley and the bridge again – holed up inside.

“So, Netflix and food or food and Netflix?” Katie asked, holding up the delivery they just ordered.

“How about comida y Netflix?” Mark said, trying to come up with another combination.

“You dork.” She busted out in laughter, a smile painting her face. Mark felt accomplished seeing the smile on her face.

“But I’m your dork.” Mark didn’t fail to see her hesitation in her next response.

“I guess so.”

day thirty-one

Mark woke up surprisingly early for once; the first thing he planned on doing was getting ready and taking extra precautions with hiding his identity. Today was their last full day in his home and he feels like he needs more time here. Particularly, he feels like he needs more time with Katie to deal with his complicated feelings before having to be devoured by work.

He smiled at the sight of Katie at the kitchen; her hair was wet and cascading down her back in clusters of hair, wearing one oversized hoodie she’s stolen over their two years of friendship. He thinks it’s Johnny’s or Jaehyun’s hoodie. He wishes it was his.

An overpowering smell of bacon filled his nose. “Oh my God,” Mark exclaimed, “That smells amazing.”

Katie jumped at the sound of his voice, making him chuckle as he approached her. “You absolute dickhead! You scared me.” He chuckled, now standing beside her. “I’m making sure our last day here starts out right with…” As Katie put the spatula down, she reached down the cupboards. “Pizza bagels and bacon!”

“Oh my God,” Usually he’d respond with a simple phrase consisting of three words; those were the three words at the tip of his tongue, but saying it would only make his feelings known – especially now that they have a different meaning. “You’re amazing, you know that?” He substituted, making Katie chuckle and playfully flip her hair over her shoulder.

“I know.”

It felt like all the tension from the previous days have disappeared; the two were only consumed with the reminder that today was the last day they have with only each other for a while. “So, the plan of the day is…” Mark sat down at the marble counter that acted as a dining table, using it as a drum sets as he pulled out the plans the two had set prior. “We go on a bike ride around the city, meet up with friends at the market for a meal, walk down the beach, come home, and then binge movies with food that we make to use up all the ingredients you bought prior because my God girl, you bought a lot!” He exaggerated, making Katie roll her eyes as she put the bacon on the two plates.

“Now tell me those aren’t the work of a master-chef.”

“They aren’t.” Mark gave her a straight look, before bursting out laughing at her jokingly-shocked reaction. “No, they are, they are.”

Katie still faked offence, “Say that to your world-famous eggs.”

~~~~~~~

Mark knew he had to tell her tonight or not at all. It didn’t help that, knowing tonight is the night, she looked even more intimidatingly gorgeous. She just took a shower so any make up from the day was gone; she looked tired, but she looked freshly tired. Her hair was blow-dryed and looking soft and shiny in her messy bun. She was wearing an oversized shirt and a pair of spandex and Mark was enamored. He was speechless by her; she’s so effortlessly beautiful and he knew she had his heart.

He wasn’t confused about his feelings anymore; he wasn’t confused as they cuddled into their spare blankets on the floor of the sofa beds in the living room the two had set up to spend the last night together. He wasn’t confused as they shared a bowl of ramen and whatever food they could come up with the leftover ingredients. He wasn’t confused when they shared a bowl of ice cream.

“Okay, I’m saying we go for a horror movie next.” Katie proposed, peeling the blankets off of her and standing up. Mark readjusted, so he’s sitting with his legs crossed. His glasses made his eyes particularly doe-like. Katie found him magnetic to look at; from his hair being all fluffy, to his green hoodie making him look like a ‘small bean’ and just enough for her to embrace. All she wanted to do was kiss him.

Mark just nodded; speechless, as he has increasingly become more silent over the night. “Okay, you’re not the Mark I know –.” She retook her place, now sitting crisscrossed in front of him. She put their knees together and leaned forward, forcing Mark into eye contact. “Penny for your thoughts?”

He sighed, licking his lip before biting it. He held his finger out. “You know how you say people who break pinky promises are the biggest villains of them all?” Katie nodded suspiciously. “Well, can you pinky-promise when after I say this and it doesn’t work out as I hope, we’ll still be good?”

She linked her pinky in his, “What’s up bubs?”

“Katie, I think I’m falling for you.” He said quickly, but Katie was able to understand him. He was hesitant to use the L word.

“Haha, Mark, cut it.” Katie laughed instinctively. “You’re just being dumb.”

“No, Katie, I love you. I do; I love the way you smile and the way you care about me. I love how you stand on your tip toes when you order anything, or how you always hum when theres silence. I love how you make me feel. Most importantly, I love who you help me be. I love who I am with you.”

Katie felt speechless. “Mark, you swear you’re not saying this because you’re here? Because I’m here?” She’s hesitant, she’s worried. She dreamt of this, but she’s always scared of commitment. She didn’t want to lose him because he didn’t think this through. “Mark, you may say this now but I don’t want you to go back to Korea and realize you could have anyone better than me – maybe an idol – and then regret everything.”

Mark smiled softly, biting his lip. “There’s no one better than you for me, Katie.” He sighed, “I never noticed how being around you made me feel different than it was supposed to. I thought it was what its like to have a female best friend – but no, I felt butterflies. I felt the happiest around you. Katie, please say you feel the same.”

She didn’t respond with words; she just leaned in and pressed her lips against his. Within minutes, Mark had pushed her down on the sofa bed – hovering over her as they make out.

“Oh my god,” Katie said breathless, “This is so cliché” She said through heavy breaths between their kisses. They’re both breathless; lips practically bruised from the amount of times their lips met passionately. But their lips barely met the beginning of it; they have a whole month worth of making up to do.

day thirty-two

It felt like her lips lingered on his; the taste of her vanilla lip balm a reminder of what happened last night. That, and the way they slept more closely than they have before; their legs tangled together, both of them in their undergarments, and her arms thrown tightly around his chest. The smell of lavender from her shampoo wafted into his nose; and he immediately smiled waking up. Their clothes from their rather intense make out session were thrown onto the floor. Mark was glad Katie ended it there; he wanted to take things slow with her. He didn’t want to mess anything up, so once Katie had fallen asleep; he went to take a cold shower and immediately went back in her arms.

Now, as he rested with the girl of his dreams asleep in his arms, he was hit with a sudden realization; we’re going home. And he doesn’t know if they can stay like this.

[mushroommouth]

The Good Mourning

A/N: Took me long enough! Here’s the next work in the Ghost!Jake AU. I hope it’s enough in character, but this one…got a bit out of hand. Over 6000 words, twelve pages, and the plot, well– you’ll see. Happy birthday, Em! I hope 23 is a great year for you. Thank you for all those sweet birthday wishes a couple weeks ago, too. 

Without further ado, here is The Good Mourning!

                        👻

Jake has been dead for ten years.

For Milo, Jake has been dead for about 147 minutes.

–

Of all things that did him in, Jake’s ultimate reveal was innocuous and accidental.

It could have been on another ghost hunt with Jake swooping in to save the day at the last moment. It wasn’t Cody accidentally spilling the beans in the hospital when Jake couldn’t show up to check on his son. It could have been Jake finally sitting down with Milo, Dan sitting nearby for support, confessing the truth after all these years.

No, no.  

It was cedar oil.  

It was a cold and damp autumn morning. Milo just happened to there, sick again. Nothing too serious, sure, but his fever was high enough to make him stay home from school. Milo was sitting on the couch, bundled in blankets and watching old taped Shark Week specials that he had probably already seen a dozen times. The sound carried to the office where Jake was rubbing his temples, trying to remain composed.

Jake forced himself away from the computer. A difficult client was pushing back against the edits Jake made, demanding he fix the piece in another way. Jake had spent two hours that morning already explaining why he made the edits he did and why, but it wasn’t enough. He stood up and stretched, feeling some tension release. He had to get away.

Of the many things that helped him calm down, cleaning was one of the most rewarding. It let him focus on the task at hand and shut out the world, focusing instead on the grime that seemed to just come with living with a teenager—especially with one as curious about the world as Milo. The floors needed a good cleaning anyway.

Jake raided through the cleaning cabinet, jumping slightly as he knocked over a container he didn’t immediately recognize or remember. He flipped the bottle over to look closer at the label and groaned.

Cedar oil. When Jake was… out of commission while Milo was in the hospital, Dan attended one of the PTA meetings in his stead. He hit it off well with all the other parents, but how could he not? It was Dan. When Jake returned, he felt eyes bore right into him. He sat quietly almost the entire time, but a middle-aged woman pulled him aside after the meeting.

“Is Dan not coming back?” She asked, peeking over his shoulder like saying Dan’s name would suddenly summon him. “Or, will he be with you next time?”

“No.” Jake swallowed down a mild pang of jealousy. “He, uh, is always pretty tired after work. He only was here last time because I was sick.”

            “Oh.” The lady didn’t even try to hide her disappointment. “Well, um, tell him I remembered the kind of oil to use! It was cedar. Oh! And-“

            “I’ll pass on the message.” Jake cut her off, heading for the door. “I’ll see you next time.”

            The next time while at the supermarket, Jake stumbled across the container and remembered the conversation. It mentioned that it was good for hardwood floors in the product description, so he put it in the cart in a rare moment of impulse. He didn’t put a lot of thought in the purchase; it picked at an old wound that Jake liked to believe was recovering nicely through the years.

And here it was. The bottle (can? Container?) was unopened. Jake rolled it over to reread the description before setting it on the table. He took another deep, unnecessary breath before beginning to scrub the floors, allowing his mind to go blank and instead focus on getting into all the grooves.

 By the time he was finished, he had no idea how much time passed. Milo was watching another documentary; Jake recognized the soundbites as the megalodon special. He wiped his brow out of habit before frowning at the floor. He wasn’t ready to get back to work just yet, so polishing the floors wasn’t out of the question. Jake poured some of the oil onto a rag and began to rub it into the floor, letting his mind wander again.

—

            Milo was getting restless. While the documentaries were perfect, watching sharks hunt—or, in the megalodon’s case, how it probably hunted—reminded him of the stocked kitchen. He picked up the blanket, wrapping it over his shoulders, and paused the film. He went into the kitchen and cracked open a ginger ale.

“Hey Dad?” Milo called as he started heading toward the sound of Jake’s furious-yet-careful scrubbing. “I know you said popcorn is bad for a sore throat and all but hear me out: it sounds really awesome just about nowaaaAAAAH-!”

Jake snapped back to the present at the sound of Milo yelling, shuddering slightly. He turned up to see Milo paling.

“Milo! You scared me. What’s-“Jake followed Milo’s gaze to his hands. “-Wrong. Oh.”

The skin had faded away, leaving two skeletal hands blatantly obvious. Jake lifted them both and forced a laugh.

“Milo! I’m fine. I’m fine! This is just-“ The hand holding the rag vanished entirely, leaving the rag to fall to the floor. Milo screamed louder, taking a step back toward the door.  “Shit.”

Milo swallowed harshly, his face turning from white as a sheet to green.

“I’m gonna be sick.”

–

Jake leaned against the sink, occasionally leaning over to rub Milo’s back with his still-existing skeletal hand as Milo hunched over the toilet. Milo was done, but the room was filled with a silence so dense it could be cut with a knife.

“So…” Jake started, unsure how to continue. Parenting books didn’t describe this. “Are you okay?”

“Am I okay?” Milo laughed hoarsely which turned to a choked sob. “Your hand’s gone!”

“It’ll come back.” Jake responded quickly. “It always does.”

Milo didn’t immediately respond. His brow furrowed as he seemed deep in thought.

“If it always does…how long have you been-how long has…?”

Jake shrugged, trying desperately to retain his composure.

“I’ve been- I’ve been like this for ten years.”

He turned on the faucet with his good (?) hand, sticking both the skeletal and non-existent hand under the stream of water. Gradually, skin began to reappear on one hand as the missing one turned skeletal. Jake splashed his face with water before taking a deep and unnecessary breath. Milo watched quietly before the silence was too much to bear.

“Where did you learn how to do that?”

There was a moment of silence as Jake ran through the options in his head. He could lie again, sure. But at this point, wouldn’t that make it worse? He already dug himself in a hole. There was no need to make it a crater.

“I- Cody showed me.” Jake admitted.

“Wait.” Milo fell entirely from his kneeling position over the toilet and onto his butt in surprise. “Cody knows?”

Jake nodded once before looking to the floor.

“Does- does everybody know but me?”

“Oh! No, no. This has been—no one really else knows. Just Cody and-and Dan, and the Fullers.”

“Oh.”

“…Yeah.” Jake sunk onto the floor as well so he and Milo were at the same level. “I’m- I’m sorry, Milo. I didn’t want you to find out. Especially like this.”

The bathroom was silent again except the still-running faucet. It was like that for a few minutes before Jake forced a smile in Milo’s direction.

“Well, do you have any questions? After all, you and Cody are pretty much ghost-hunting extraordinaires, right?”

“Paranormal investigators,” Milo corrected without thought.  He fidgeted slightly, as if trying to figure out the right way to say something.

“…You said ten years, right?”

“Yes?” Jake asked, already feeling uneasy about where this was going.

“Did my dad know?”

With that, Jake lost control just for a moment. His whole form shuddered and glitched just once, flashes of cyan and red light briefly overtaking his eyes. Jake inhaled sharply and pressed the palms of his hands into his eyes. By the time he pulled his hands back, he gave Milo a stern glance, seeming as…normal and alive as ever.

“Milo, you know we don’t talk about Milo, Sr. in this house.”  

Milo gasped, unsure to be startled by Jake’s bright display or the sudden sinking feeling in his chest that seemed to appear whenever he got this response. Milo swallowed harshly, feeling tears build up with frustration. It wasn’t fair.

“Are you serious?” Milo asked barely above a whisper.

Jake blinked in confusion.

“What did you say, Milo?”

“I said, are you serious?!”  Milo stood up. A traitorous tear cascaded down his cheek which Milo sloppily wiped off. “I just asked if—I —what else are you not telling me?”

Jake stared up at Milo in shock, mouth agape.

“Why don’t you trust me? Is-is there any other secrets? If you’re dead, can you like- do you know what happened to my dad? Can you sense him? How did you die?  Wh-why don’t you… why don’t you—”

“Milo—”

“Why don’t you take me seriously?” Milo cried. “I’m fourteen now! That’s-that’s practically sixteen, which is practically an adult. A-and you told my best friend before you told me!”

Jake stood up, seeming to almost be on the verge of tears himself. He hesitantly but gently put a hand on Milo’s shoulder before squeezing reassuringly. His form shuddered for a second, but ultimately stayed tangible

“Milo…I wanted to tell you. I just…didn’t—I…” He looked at Milo, gently cupping his cheek with his other hand. “I didn’t want you to have to lose another parent.”

Milo sniffed, wiping snot with the cuff of his hoodie. He leaned into Jake’s hand for a second, unable to make Jake’s gaze.

“Milo.” Jake repeated. Milo glanced up briefly, seeing the exhaustion, despair and warmth in Jake’s eyes. Jake removed his hand from Milo’s face and set it on his other shoulder.

“No more secrets,” he lied.

Milo recoiled as if he was burned.

“You’re doing it again!” He cried, digging his fingers into his hair and tugging sharply on the roots in frustration. “You don’t even get that you’re doing it, do you?”

“No, you don’t understand.”  Jake flushed a little in embarrassment and frustration himself. A long-suppressed fire began rekindling. “I literally can’t talk about Milo, Sr. I can- I meant—”

 “No, you don’t want to talk about my dad!”

“Milo…” Jake warned.

“What? Let me guess, he’s- he never left, right?”

Jake removed his hands from Milo’s shoulders and instead clasped them over his own mouth, beginning to shake.

 “Oh, there is another deep dark family secret? How long were you going to let me look for ghosts, when there was one in front of me, like-like a big dummy!”  Tears were streaming like a faucet now down Milo’s cheeks. He felt his ears burn, but words were just coming out as loosely as water fell from his eyes.

“Milo!” Jake’s hands shot from covering his mouth. “Don’t talk about yourself like that. And- and you can’t talk to me like that.”

Parenting guidebooks don’t fail him now.

“Milo, y-you’re grounded.” Jake stood up straighter. “—Until you talk to me more nicely.”

Milo began shaking himself, unsure to cry harder or just…get angry. Against every fiber in his being to choose the former, Milo took another step back. He tripped over the lip of the tub, falling in. Before Jake could reach out to help, words began tumbling out of Milo’s mouth without his permission.

“You can’t do that!” He cried. “You’re not my dad!”

The room went absolutely silent as time seemed to freeze. Jake stopped mid-step from trying to help Milo up and instead looked at Milo with a blank shock. Milo swallowed again harshly, humiliated and furious at that slip that he didn’t even mean. But before he could apologize, Jake glitched twice before vanishing entirely.

—

Milo wasn’t sure how long he sat in the bathtub in shock. He was cold from the fever and dehydrated from the crying. By the time he forced himself to move and grab his phone from his pocket, he saw that two hours had passed. How had it only been a little over two and half hours since he…found out?

He scrolled through the contacts in his phone. Cody? He would still be in school. Mr. Dom? No. While he’d get to the house fastest, Milo wasn’t as …close to him. Instead, he chose one of the most-contacted contacts on his phone. Milo sniffled again, wiping snot on his sleeve as he heard the ringing on the other end. As expected, it was only a handful of rings until the person on the other end picked up.

“Milo?”

Milo let out another muffled wail at the sound of the voice on the other end.

“Milo? What’s wrong?”

“Dad… I got in a- when can you get home?” Milo asked, curling up in the tub feeling much smaller than he felt in a long time.

“One second.”

There was muffled talking in the background, which turned more frantic after a second.

“Milo, I’ll be able to get off in about an hour.” Dan said. “I’ll be home immediately after.”

—

Dan stayed true to his word. Milo heard him fumbling with the keys for a moment before rushing in the door. He had since gotten out of the bathtub and instead curled up on the couch, hugging his knees tight. Jake…hadn’t shown up since the argument.

 As soon as Dan entered, Milo leapt up and ran to hug him tight. Dan seemed surprised for a second but bent down to hug Milo back. Milo began to tear up again, nuzzling into Dan’s shoulder. Dan held him for a moment before pushing him back slightly to make eye contact.

“Kiddo…what’s wrong? What happened?”

Milo looked at him for a moment before breaking his gaze and looking at the floor.

“Jake and I got in a fight.” He admitted. “An-and I said some…bad things.”

Dan seemed surprised for a moment but didn’t interrupt. He waited quietly for Milo to continue. There was a beat of silence before Milo found his voice again. Instead of further elaborating about what was said, Milo provided the context of the situation.

“Jake told me.”

Dan seemed surprised but immediately broke into a grin.

“He did?” Dan looked over Milo’s shoulder as if looking for Jake. “I didn’t think he would—how did you take it? Are you alright?  How did you find out? Where is he?”

Milo didn’t respond, not looking up from the floor.

“Oh.”

“…I think I heard him in his room.”  Milo supplied. “He hasn’t come out yet, though.”

Dan nodded and stood up before offering Milo his hand. Milo took it, looking back up at him.

“Well, let’s go talk to him, okay?”

“Okay.” Milo agreed.             Dan gently led them both to outside Jake’s bedroom door before knocking.

“Hey? Jake? Are you in there?”

—

Jake had phased through the walls and into his bedroom after his argument with Milo. He was desperately trying to maintain his human appearance, trying to suppress the shudders to his form urging him to change back. Back to the form he took in the haunted house. The form that he felt deep in his bones was now the default.

But that wasn’t okay. He had to calm down to talk to Milo. He had to get back to Milo. Jake clutched his dresser, not breaking eye contact with his reflection in the mirror. His eyes were no longer brown but the bright cyan. It’s okay. That happened sometimes. He could do this. He could do this. He just had to keep it together. He had to get back to Milo and finish their conversation. He had to…

Something in Jake’s stomach churned at the thought. Why was he here again? What was the point? Milo made his stance clear. Jake’s hands flew from the dresser to try and cover his mouth as his eyes rolled in the back of his head. A glowing cyan substance shot out of his mouth, nose and eyes, splattering on the floor. The trajectory sent Jake tumbling backward. It pooled on the carpet and coated the furniture, filling the room with the smell of ozone.

The violent eruption lasted only for a few moments, but it seemed to drag on. Jake stood up and sloppily wiped his face with his hands, just smearing it across his face. Jake straightened his back, his reflection catching the corner of his eye. Jake turned back to see…himself, he guessed. Well, mostly.  His eyes had changed to a deep red from the episode and his skin was beginning to turn translucent. Jake leaned over the dresser, laying his head down on the cool wood. It felt good, but his stomach and core were still throbbing.

Okay. Getting back to Milo could wait just a moment. Dan would be home relatively soon, and Milo was right. He was fourteen. He was old enough to stay home alone for a few hours. Jake just had to wait for…

Dan always was the one to fix it, huh?

How long are you going to make Dan keep it together for you?

Jake’s face scrunched up in frustration and hurt. No. Dan mourned when Jake died. It was Dan’s crying that made him summon energy to come back home. Dan was nothing but supportive and loving to his friends, just as he had always been. Dan waited for him to come back every time. Dan-             Dan was talking to someone about the cedar oil. The whole thing that started this mess. Jake stood up and took a few shaky steps back to sit on his bed. Jake got out his phone, groaning in frustration as his hands—both now fully skeletal—simply clicked on the glass with no effect. Whose brilliant idea was it to make phone screens heat sensitive, anyway? Jake set the phone in his lap, digging into his nightstand drawer until he produced a stylus.

It took one cursory Google search that confirmed Jake’s suspicions about the oil. He held his phone with shaking hands for a second before gently setting it down beside him.

“Well, um, tell him I remembered the kind of oil to use!”

Jake curled up, focusing on breathing patterns to try and calm down. Dan was trying to get rid of him. Milo was mad at him and would never forgive him. There…. what was the point of staying? Jake’s skin faded away entirely, revealing the skeletal form for the second time in his afterlife.

 Jake clenched his bony fists before swallowing sharply. There was left for him here. But that doesn’t mean there was nothing left for him at all. His bones sharpened as the deep red of his eyes began glinting at the surge of emotion. For the second time in ten years, Jake felt…angry.

He grabbed his guitar and vanished.

—

Dan hadn’t let go of Milo’s hand.

“Jake?” He called, knocking on the door with his free hand. There was no response.

Milo looked down, sniffling. Dan squeezed his hand and smiled down at him reassuringly.

“Jake, if you don’t answer we’re just going to come in.”

No response.

“Jake, you’ve got…” Dan checked his phone before setting a timer. “Two minutes until I unlock the door. We can’t be doing this.”

Again, nothing. Dan paled ever-so-slightly and held Milo’s hand tighter. A sinking feeling told Milo that Dan was just feeling just as anxious as he was. The two waited, unmoving. Dan didn’t look away from the door at all. Even though they were only a couple minutes, they seemed to last an eternity. Milo resorted to leaning into Dan’s arm. Regardless, they both jumped when the happy tune of the timer went off. Milo dropped Dan’s hand in surprise as Dan went to shut it off.

He reached to the top of the doorframe before trying one last time.

“Jake, please.”

Nothing.

Dan sighed before sticking the key in the lock and turning it. He rammed into it with his shoulder, trying to nudge it open despite the sticky latch.  Instead, he bounced a little off the hard wood and blinked in surprise.

“I…just locked it?”

Dan unlocked the door again and it swung open. The room was empty.  

“Jake?” Dan called. “Are you in here?”

Just as before, there was no response. Dan slowly and carefully stepped in the room. Parts of the floor and dresser were glowing faintly which was… new. His phone was left on his bed. Jake certainly (at least) had been in there.

“Jake? Are you-are you invisible right now? Because we just want to talk. If you burned up your energy or something, can you give us a sign?”

Silence. The air felt heavy and still.

Milo was waiting outside before something caught his eye. He walked quickly into the room and looked at the blank wall.

“Hey Dad?”

“Yeah, Milo?” Dan asked, looking around the dark room absentmindedly.

“Jake’s guitar is gone.”

Dan whipped his head around and saw the empty mantle on the wall. His stomach sank.

“Huh.” Dan forced out. “We… should call an expert.”

—

The doorbell rang.

Dan got up to answer it, but Milo beat him to the door, curious (and hopeful) to see who it was.

“Cody?”

“Hey Milo! Are you still sick? Oh, hi, Mr. Fuller!”

“Hi, Cody.” Dan responded, smiling tiredly. “Yes, Milo’s still sick, so you’ll probably want to wash your hands.”

Cody nodded as Dan and Milo stepped out of the way to let him in. Cody set his backpack on the floor as he began unpacking slightly.

“I didn’t know what we’d need, but- “

“Wait. Cody’s the expert?” Milo asked, turning to face Dan who shrugged sheepishly.

“Heh…he was the first one that accidentally found out that knows about ghost stuff.”

Milo seemed crestfallen for a moment before Dan quickly raised his hands in a defensive position.  

“No, no. Milo, you’re both the experts we need. After all, you two are a team, right, Baby Shark?”  

Milo immediately blushed and pulled his hood up as Cody snorted out a stifled laugh.

“Dad…don’t call me that.”

“Okay, kiddo. I won’t.” Dan winked at Milo as if to say ‘I-won’t-embarrass-you-in-front-of-your-friends.’

Milo groaned but bent to help Cody rummage through his backpack.

“Okay, so I brought a spirit box…a Ouija board…flashlights…what exactly is the emergency?”

Milo and Dan looked at each other before Dan forced a soft smile at Cody. Milo looked away, withdrawing his hands to instead tuck in his lap.

“Jake’s missing.”

Cody stopped his rummaging.

“Oh,” he said. “Does… uh…Milo? Do you…?”

“He told me.” Milo said.

“Okay. Well, everything I brought is pretty much useless then, but I’ll see how I can help!” Cody began sticking everything back in his backpack, zipping it back up.

Dan nodded, offering his hands to help them both back up. The two accepted and Cody slung his backpack over his shoulder.

“Why don’t we talk in the kitchen?” Dan suggested. He let Milo take the lead. Cody followed quickly in after him but stopped so quickly that Dan almost ran into him.

“What’s that?” Cody asked, gesturing to the still-open container on the kitchen table.

“Oh…uh, Jake picked that up from the store. It’s cedar oil.”

Cody picked it up, looking it over. He frowned deeply. “Why?”

“I don’t know.” Dan shrugged. “A mom at the PTA recommended it, and Jake picked it up after.”

“Cedar oil is…not good.” Cody supplied. “It’s not as strong as sage or salt or anything, but cedar oil can be used to finalize, well, banishing.”

Dan blinked in surprise.

“You weren’t… you didn’t…” Cody gestured quickly. “I’m not saying you would, but-“

“Oh god. Of course not!” Dan began wringing his hands together. “The mom I was talking to just got divorced. Her girlfriend is a carpenter and that’s just what she happened to recommend.”

“Everyone just kinda tells you everything about themselves, huh?” Cody rubbed his chin, trying to seem intelligent.

“Did Jake know that?” Milo asked quietly. A beat of silence followed.

“…I don’t know.”

The room was immediately silent. Milo tightened the strings on his hoodie/ Cody tried to think of a way to ask the following question lightly. However, as time ticked on, he just blurted it out.

“Are you sure he didn’t move on?”

Dan and Milo looked at Cody in horror. Dan’s jaw dropped slightly.

“I…”

“It wouldn’t make sense,” Cody added. “He wouldn’t just go, not after everything. But when a ghost suddenly disappears, it isn’t usually…good.”

Dan didn’t know what to say. Luckily, Milo took that moment to speak up.

“He didn’t.” Milo said. “They usually disappear in a sudden flash of light, right? He didn’t do that. He just…turned invisible, I think? He took something from his room before he left, too.”

Cody blinked.

“What did he take?”

“His guitar.” Dan said hoarsely. “His anchor.”

 Cody sighed in relief.

“Oh, good.” Cody smiled at the two of them. “He’s still around then! That just means he’s somewhere else, otherwise you guys would have seen the anchor since then.”

Dan pulled out a chair and slumped in it in relief.

            “He must be somewhere else important to him- somewhere else he’d default to. We just have to find him!”

            Dan rubbed his face before letting out a brief hysterical laugh.

            “Do you know anywhere Jake might be?” Milo asked quietly.

            Dan glanced up, tears in his eyes.

            “Of course, I know a few.” He wiped his face. “Cody, if you want to come, text your dad and ask. We’re going on a friendship tour.”

—

The first stop was, in every sense of the word, the worst.

            Dan pulled in the parking lot as Milo stared at the sign with a blank expression.  

            “You guys don’t have to get out of the car for this one if it’d make you more comfortable.” Dan said quietly.

            “I think I’m going to stay behind for this one, if that’s okay, Mr. Fuller.” Cody replied. “It doesn’t feel right for me to go with you.”

            “Milo?”

            Milo jerked up and whipped his head around to look at Dan.

            “I…think I’d like to go.”

            Dan smiled again, looking much older than he had as long as Milo could remember. The two got out of the car. Dan held out his hand to Milo and Milo took it. Milo took a deep breath as the two headed into the cemetery.

            “I haven’t been here in years,” Dan said. Milo didn’t respond, looking around wildly.

            After a few turns, Dan took him to a gravestone not as grand as some of the others, but still clearly important.

HERE LIES JAKE PIERLY

HIS HEART WAS TOO BIG

FOR THIS WORLD

REST IN PEACE

            Dan bent over and began plucking some weeds from the gravestone as Milo stared at the gravestone.

            “We should have picked up some flowers, huh, kiddo?” Dan asked. He looked up to see Milo swaying slightly. “Milo?”

            “Is he…is he down there?”

            “He was buried here.” Dan said, standing up to get to Milo. “Do you want to go back to the car? He’s pretty clearly…not here.”

            Milo shook his head, tears beading up.

            “Don’t worry. We’ll find him and tell him this was just one big misunderstanding, right?” Dan asked. Milo shook his head and instantly grabbed Dan and pulled him into a tight hug.

            “It’s my fault!” Milo wailed. “I told him- Dad, I called him a liar, and told him he wasn’t my real dad! I hurt him, an-and it’s all my fault and he’s gone.”

             Dan bent over and hugged Milo tight, letting him cry it out.

            “It’s my fault. If I hadn’t been so mean- if I… He would still be here, and everything would be normal, but—it’s my fault, he might be gone forever, and-“

            Dan began quietly hushing Milo, pushing him back slightly so Dan could peck his forehead with a kiss.

            “Milo…We’ll find him. Once we do, we can talk to him. You and I both owe him an apology, and we can move on. It’ll be okay. I promise.”

            Milo nodded quietly, looking away and back at the gravestone. Dan hugged him again.    “I don’t feel good.” Milo said quietly. “Can…can we go now?”

            “Of course.”

—

“Welcome, welcome to the Savory Grain!” Dan beamed, gesturing to the seedy bar in front of the three. Various banners lined the windows advertising cheap beer. “It’s not open during week days usually, but this is our second stop!”

            Cody lifted up a foot as a mouse ran underneath.

            “Are…we allowed to be here?” He asked.

            “There’s no liquor sales going on right now,” Dan shrugged. “Besides, I know the owner! He usually spends the week in there to do paperwork and stuff.”

            Dan knocked twice on the door, which slowly opened on its own.

            “Mr. Huffin is the nicest old guy you’ll ever meet.” Dan explained. “I’m sure as soon as we explain the situation, he’ll help us as much as he can.”

            “…I don’t know about this.” Cody said.

            “It’ll be okay.” Milo laughed. “Come on, how bad can it be?”

            The answer?

            Pretty bad.

            Milo and Cody looked around the bar. A stage was the main attraction with a microphone and drum set. The ceiling was covered in hundreds of playing cards, some of which stained by…some sort of fluid. Cobwebs marked all the corners and the men’s bathroom was boarded up. Initials and drawings were carved all over. Milo started walking toward one of the tables to get a closer look, swearing that he saw MILO SUMNER carved in one of the booths.

Before he could get much closer, though, Dan scooped him up by the shoulders.

“Oh! Nope. Don’t step on that carpet. It’s so sticky, your shoes will be there forever.”

Milo made a face, which Dan just laughed at.

“Yeah, this place isn’t the nicest, but it sure was fun back in the day.” He looked toward the stage. “This is where Jake had his first performance with the Problem Sons!”

“I thought Jake was an English major.” Milo said.

“He was.” Dan supplied. Milo blinked in confusion as Dan set him back down.

Dan looked like he was going to say something else, but a glass flew from the bar and crashed on the wall. Dan and Milo turned around slowly to see an angry, green translucent ghost with a large handlebar mustache.

“Hey!” He yelled. “No minors at my bar!”

“Mr. Huffin?” Dan asked.

“A poltergeist!” Cody shouted.

“Watch your profanity.”

Dan walked over, beaming.

“Mr. Huffin! It’s me, Dan Fuller!”

The ghost looked blankly at Dan.

“Never heard of you. Now get these children OUT!”

Dan’s smile fell.

“No, no! I was a friend of Jake Pierly. Remember, the Problem Sons? They performed here a long time ago?”

“Hmmm.” Mr. Huffin stroked his chin. “Oh yes, that’s right! I remember.”

“You do?”

“Yeah! They STUNK!”

Dan looked offended for a moment before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath.

“We’re looking for Jake.” Dan said. “Have you seen him?”

“In my bar? No. You’ve been the only people all night. And we’re closed! Get out!” Mr. Huffin threw another glass, missing by far. “If you bring any more minors to my bar, I’ll drag you to the depths of hell myself!”

Dan rolled his eyes.

“Okay, that’s about enough of that. C’mon, Milo. C’mon, Cody. We have a few more spots to check out.”  

“Aw, what? I was getting a camera ready, Mr. Fuller! Can we just stay for another moment or two?” Cody begged. “Ghosts really only show up when I’m with your family for whatever reason.”

“No. I’ll take you back in seven years, though, assuming this place isn’t closed down for health reasons or because the owner is a huge jerk!”

“I heard that!”

“I know you did! That’s why I yelled it!” Dan began shoving Cody and Milo through the door. Milo snorted at Dan’s outburst as Cody pouted.

“He’s a lot meaner than I remember.” Dan grumbled. “And deader.”

—

            The third spot and fourth spots were both duds.

For the third spot, Dan drove by the first apartment that Jake, Milo, Sr., and Dan first rented.  It, much to Dan’s disappointment, had apparently long-since been torn down and replaced with commercial apartments. New college students were walking in and out as Dan sunk into his seat in the car.

“Gosh, I’m getting old.” He grumbled before driving to the fourth spot.

The English Department was empty. Classes had long-since ended for the day, though a few stragglers were studying. None of them heard anything. There was no sign of him, and by the end, the three were simply exhausted.

“I’ve got one more place.” Dan said as the three piled in the car. He drove for a few minutes to an all-night diner. The waiter gestured to the sign that said, “free seating,” so the three piled in a small booth. Conversation was at a lull.

            “Do either of you see something odd?” Cody yawned.

            Milo yawned in response and shook his head. Dan seemed distracted by the menu. By the time the waiter returned for drink orders, Dan smiled excitedly.

            “One black coffee and a plater of chili cheese fries, please!” He said. Milo made a disgusted face, causing Cody to giggle. They both ordered off the kid menu, things would go down easy.

            “Some chicken nuggets, please.”

            “I’ll have the grilled cheese.”

            The two ordered sodas and the waiter left. After they were gone, Milo turned to Dan.

            “Why did you get that gross order?”

            Dan laughed dryly.

            “It’s what Jake would always get,” he said. “Your dad, Jake and I would come here after Jake…partied too hard. It would be the only thing we could get him to eat. I’m sure it wasn’t good for his heart in the long run, but we were just happy to watch him stuff his face once in a while.”

            Dan smiled a little at the memory. Silence followed for a bit before Milo spoke up.

            “Dad? Are you okay?” He asked.

            “I don’t know,” Dan laughed dryly. “I’ll feel better once we know Jake is okay. He’s…he’s all that’s left from the original trio other than me, you know?”

            “It’s like you said.” Milo said. “We’ll find him, right? It’ll be okay.”

            Dan smiled in return.

            The waiter returned with drinks in a few minutes. Dan took a long sip of the coffee and snorted.

            “It still tastes like dirt,” he said. “At least there’s free refills.”

            Dan pulled out his phone and shot a quick text message.

            “Okay,” he said. “I just texted my mom to let me know if Jake shows up at their house. I don’t think he’d go there if he didn’t want to talk, but it’s worth a shot. Do either of you have any thoughts? Suggestions? Questions?”

            Cody raised his hand.

            “I have one, actually.”

            “Yeah, Cody?” Dan asked, taking a sip of his coffee. “Also, please don’t raise your hand. We’re not in school.”

            “Why did you want me to come with?” Cody asked.

            “Oh! That’s easy.” Dan set down his coffee. “You’re a part of this family, too. You’ve been with us for the best and the worst.”

            Cody blinked in surprise before smiling. He wasn’t sure what to say, so instead he kicked Milo from under the table.

            “Looks like I have three dads too, Milo.”

            Milo rolled his eyes before slurping his soda.

            “Yeah, yeah.” Milo said. “I actually have a question too.”

            “Yes?”

            “Where do we look for Jake next?” Milo asked.

            Dan frowned and looked into his coffee cup. He seemed deep in thought before reaching his final consensus. At that, he looked horrified.

            “Oh god.” Dan mumbled.

            “What’s wrong?” Milo asked. “I mean, there’s got to be more places to look.”

            “You’re right. I’m sure there are, but I can’t think of them. There’s only one person that might know where else to look.” Dan slunk in his seat like an angsty teenager.

“…We need Aaron.”

End of Part I

[katie-dub]

When You Wish Upon A Star

Summary: Emma Swan is sick and tired of her meddling friends plotting to make her and her best friend Killian a Thing. It’s obnoxious, and unwanted, and maybe it reminds her that she and Killian aren’t already a Thing. And besides, mistletoe is such a cliche. 

But maybe Killian’s doing some plotting of his own to bring a little magic into her world.

Hey there @welllpthisishappening​ as it’s become tradition now to say this, I’m not your secret anything, which is probably just as well as I’m pretty sure we’re not even in the twelve days of Christmas anymore. But hey, January can be bleak and a little vaguely festive Christmas-adjacent cheer never goes amiss.

Unbeta’d, because you deserve nice things, even if they have spelling mistakes in.

AO3

Can't come today, too sick. Emma hits send, flings her phone aside and buries her head under the covers. She has no intention of leaving her bed today. A thought strikes her and she reluctantly creeps out of the warmth. It takes her a few minutes to find her phone again, hidden as it is in the folds of her thick, fluffy duvet. Sorry, she adds, wincing at how lame the afterthought is.

“Bah Humbug, now that's too strong! 'Cause it is my favourite holiday.” Emma’s so startled by the music blasting out of her phone that she drops it. Despite knowing that no one is around to see her fumble, she blushes at her own clumsiness, and stares at the photo of Killian grinning up at her on the screen.

She's tempted to ignore it, but she literally just texted him, and she can't think of a good reason not to answer. She picks up her phone and answers it, taking a deep breath to steel herself for his questions.

“Glad you decided not to ignore me, Swan.”

“I wasn't ignoring you!” she protests, and can hear the disbelief in his pointed silence. “Well, I didn't ignore you at least, that's got to count for something, right?”

She's not sure it's really possible to hear someone arch their brow, but she swears she does. “Hmmm,” is all he says, and waits just a little too long to continue for it to be truly comfortable. “Are you going to tell me why you're really cancelling on today?”

“I told you, I'm sick.” She definitely hears those eyebrows creep up his forehead this time. “I am!”

“You never cancel on Potterfest, no matter how sick you are. You once sat in an inflatable kiddie pool, hugging a bowl, vomiting intermittently, rather than admit that you were too hungover for Potterfest. You said that ‘it's the most wonderful day of the year and only hospitalisation would keep you away.’”

She meant it at the time too - the tradition of marathoning Harry Potter at the start of December was one that her and her friends had been doing for nine years. Ever since Neal had dumped her and tried unsuccessfully to frame her for his crime and Killian had declared that Harry Potter was the only one who could fix the pain. Several movies, innumerable alcoholic beverages and a nap or two later, she was no longer stressing about the break up.

Probably because she had fallen in love with Killian Jones while they watched Harry, Ron and Hermione age on screen. It was sometime around Harry’s first wet kiss under the mistletoe that she realised she was wondering more what Christmas kisses with Killian would feel like than worrying about her ex. He had wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her in close, wordlessly offering support in case the festive romantic moment should upset her, and she just knew he was it for her. She still wonders about mistletoe kisses from him. Not that she’ll ever tell him that.

They don’t always watch all of the movies, some years they only have time for one, but this year Potterfest is a weekend-long affair and they’re going to watch every last one. Or her friends are at least, because she’s a massive coward.

Killian’s voice turns a little strained, the only indication that he's maybe starting to worry about her. “You're not in hospital are you? I know it's my turn to host, but if you are, I'll be there.”

It's official: she's an asshole. Not only is she trying to weasel out of her friends’ annual tradition, but also she's got Killian to panic about her.

“Woah, chill out there Fear, I'm not in hospital. It's just..” she trails off, too embarrassed to continue.

“Come on, Emma, you can tell me anything,” he pleads.

She never can resist when he calls her Emma, he's so sincere and it just does things to her. Things she doesn't like to think about, because they're just friends and that's what they should stay.

“I overheard Ruby and Mary Margaret… plotting…”

“I knew it! No one's that nice outside of a Disney movie! So what are they plotting? Kidnap? World domination? To steal Christmas?”

“Thank you for taking this really seriously,” Emma deadpans.

“I'm sorry, I'm listening, I promise. Now what was our dear sweet Mary M plotting with the big bad Ruby?”

“Mistletoe traps.”

“Is that meant to mean something to me?”

Emma sighs deeply. “They were talking about catching us out with mistletoe. So that we would make out at last or something.”

“Ah.”

“Yeah.” There's an awkward silence. She hates it. The silence between them is never awkward, she'd rather sit in silence with Killian than talk to basically anyone else in the world. And now Mary Margaret and Ruby have gone and ruined it with their meddling and their mistletoe and it wouldn't hurt so much if she didn't want it so bad.

“Don't worry, I promise not to kiss you Emma.” Killian says. She's not sure if bitterness actually colours his words, or if she's just projecting, because this is the opposite of what she really wants. “Not without permission at least.”

That shouldn't make her heart skip a beat and her stomach do some kind of jump for joy, but dammit, it really really does.

“You wish,” she blusters, hoping that she's not giving too much away.

He ignores the slight, he's good like that. “Now that you know you don't have to worry about festive greenery, will you come over?”

She bites her lip, she wants to say yes, but, “what if they have something else up their sleeves?”

“Like what exactly?”

“I don't know… Something Hallmark-worthy with blind dates and Secret Santa and sharing a bed.”

“Hey! There’s no sleeping at Potterfest! You’re going to be awake for every minute of those glorious movies.”

“You snored on my shoulder last year.”

“Blasphemy! I would never!”

“You did and there’s the photos to prove it, give it up, Pinocchio.”

“Napping in between films, may be allowed,” Killian grumbles, conceding defeat. “But there will be absolutely no need for you to come anywhere near my bed, however devious Mary M may be beneath her innocent demeanour and pseudo Snow White face. You can sleep on the couch or in a sleeping bag on the floor just like every other year. We’re not that old yet, Swan. Honestly I don't know whether to laugh or be offended at the suggestion that we are.”

She laughs herself at that. “I don't know about that, aren't you like 300?”

“And yet I've retained my youthful glow and ability to sleep anywhere.”

“Oh really?”

“I thought you weren't interested in sleeping together?”

“See you had to go and be all logical and now I feel like even more of an asshole than I did before.”

“Just get your arse over here now and we'll forget all about this.”

Dammit, she can't argue with that. It's more than she deserves. Besides, she's already wearing her Griffyndor jumper, she knew that he'd talk her round.

***

She doesn't bother knocking when she gets to Killian's, just lets herself in like she owns the place. That's another thing she doesn't think much about. Or, more accurately, tries not to - for someone who didn't have a home for so long, it's more than a little overwhelming to find herself with two.

She’s halfway down the corridor that leads to his living room before she notices the decorations and her eyes widen in delight and awe. There’s fairy light-studded garland, fake candles and, the door in front of her has been decorated with cardboard so that it resembles a grand, ancient door. Most impressive and intriguing of all, four large hourglasses filled with what she assumes are chocolates wrapped in bright colours, green, blue, red and gold respectively.

She’s in the Hogwarts entrance hall.

She’s ecstatic.

She races down the corridor and flings open the door to see what Killian’s done to the living room. And is faced with a wall of sheets that stops her short.

The sheets part and Ruby’s face peeks out between them. “Come on in, Em!” Ruby calls out, grinning her wolfish grin, “you’ve got to see what Killian’s done!”

Ruby disappears again and Emma ducks down to follow her. It’s a little awkward for her to wriggle her way in, so she waits until she’s fully through to see what’s going on.

She gasps.

It’s a blanket fort and the Hogwarts great hall all rolled into one. Emma never would’ve thought that those two things could go together, until this moment right now.

The floor is squishy, covered by duvets, pillows and sleeping bags in four lines of colour - green, red, blue and yellow. There are bowls of popcorn, Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans and chocolate frogs all along the lines, and plastic goblets studded around. She knows immediately that they’re set up like this to mimic the house tables. It’s a little touch, but it really sells the look Killian’s going for.

They are surrounded by a mishmash of sheets and blankets. Fabric Christmas trees have been pinned along both walls - apparently at strategic points to hide the joins.

Best of all, the blankets above them are navy blue with swirling stars across them, to mimic the night’s sky, just like the “real” Hogwarts. The only light in the room comes from the fairy lights that have been strung up to the makeshift ceiling and the electric candles that dangle down from fish wire, giving the illusion that they are actually floating.

Emma’s forgotten how to speak. This is the best thing that anyone has ever made, she’s sure of it.

“I knew she’d like it, but I didn’t think she’d forget how to speak,” Ruby’s voice breaks into her reverie.

“Shhhhh, leave her be!” Mary Margaret scolds.

Emma starts and looks around again - this time looking at her friends instead of the decorations. She’s the last one there, undoubtedly thanks to her freak out earlier (that she absolutely has not forgotten, despite Killian declaring that they should). Ruby is lounging beside the entrance to the great hall fort with her head in Elsa’s lap. Mary Margaret and David are curled up together inside a sleeping bag. Emma’s nose wrinkles as it occurs to her what they could get up to in there without the rest of them noticing, it’s practically like thinking about her parents having sex. Will and Belle are snuggling into a pile of pillows. And Killian is … nowhere to be seen. Huh.

“He’s just bringing the drinks in,” says Elsa, answering a question that Emma’s sure she didn’t actually ask out loud.

“We’re all right here though, nice of you to finally join us, and hello to you too!” calls out Will, earning himself a none too subtle dig in the ribs from Belle.

Emma waves awkwardly, feeling the combined force of all her friends’ gazes on her. “Hi, this is … uh … wow.”

“I was aiming for magical, but wow will do,” Killian says, as he crawls into the fort clutching bottles of water and coke. He appeared from an entrance opposite Emma that seems to have entirely vanished now that he’s inside the fort. It really is like Hogwarts in here, Emma thinks grinning at Killian as he shuffles over to her.

“This is amazing,” Emma says, beaming at him when he finally makes it to her side. He scratches behind his ear, a small smile on his face at her words. “But where’s the TV? We can’t really watch the movies without it.”

Killian’s eyebrows wiggle at her. “Oh ye of little faith,” he tuts, “anything’s possible if you believe in magic.” He pulls a remote out of his pocket and presses a button. A projector starts up, turning one wall of their fort into a giant cinema screen.

“Nice work Inspector Gadget,” Emma says with a grin.

“Shouldn’t you switch up your references for something more seasonally appropriate?”

“Does Inspector Gadget have a festive equivalent?”

“Ummm…” Killian pauses, deep in thought, “well Eleven kind of was in the Christmas special with the Scrooge guy.”

“Christmas Eve on a rooftop, saw a chimney, my whole brain just went... what the hell.” Emma attempts an English accent as she quotes Matt Smith, just to see Killian laugh. He looks good when he laughs.

He clears his throat and nods seriously. “Exactly.”

“That’s a garbled reference,” Emma says, “they’re meant to be short and snappy like Buffy.”

“And you’re meant to be turning on the bloody movie Killian you wanker!” cuts in Will.

“Fuck off,” is all he says in reply, but he turns the film on all the same, and Emma snuggles into his side. Purely for comfort of course.

***

The first attempt to get them to kiss under the mistletoe came in the form of Ruby throwing some of it towards them. Emma leans her head against Killian's shoulder, effectively ducking out of its path, without appearing to have noticed it at all. It flies uselessly into the blankets behind them.

“Dammit,” Ruby mutters under breath, apparently believing that they were oblivious to her seasonal matchmaking attempt.

“See, Swan? Nothing to worry about,” Killian murmurs into her ear, giving her goosebumps. “Are you cold?” He wraps his arm around her shoulder and pulls her closer to his side before she can reply. It's nice.

***

They stay that way for the whole of The Sorcerer's Stone, Killian's just so warm and comfy that it's just makes sense. She only begrudgingly moves when he has to leave to get lunch from the kitchen. She follows him to help instead of staying to hear her friends’ thoughts on their seating arrangements.

That's when the next trap strikes.

Mary Margaret isn't even subtle about it, just leaps at them, mistletoe in hand, and thrusts it over their heads. Emma groans at her.

“Well what do you say, Swan?”

She looks up, startled by Killian's words, but sees the twinkle in his eye, cheeky grin on his face and the ever so slight incline of his head towards Mary Margaret and she just knows what he's thinking.

They lean in, Mary Margaret does a squeal of victory and glee, and they both quickly move to plant sloppy wet kisses on her cheeks.

Emma tries not to laugh at her friend's crestfallen and slightly slobbery face as Killian pats her on the shoulder. “Nevermind, Mary M,” he says, “it was a noble attempt.”

He busies himself with collecting up the lunch he'd already prepared, roast beef sandwiches, what looks like pumpkin pasties and more.

“You been slaving away like a house elf?” Emma asks, deeply impressed by the effort he's gone to.

“Nothing but the finest British cuisine should accompany Harry Potter,” he explains pompously, then ruins it all with his trademark awkward wink that Emma loves. To tease him for that is. Although right now it would be rude to, what with all the effort he's gone to, so she just scoops up some plates and follows him back to Fort Hogwarts, leaving Mary Margaret still wondering where her crafty plan went wrong.

***

It's not until the chamber of secrets has been opened, the prisoner of Azkaban freed and they're tucking into shepherd's pie that the next stage in Operation Meddle in Emma and Killian's Platonic Relationship strikes.

“Hey Killian, are you doing anything next Sunday?” Mary Margaret asks.

He turns to Emma at once. “Am I?” he asks. She shrugs as if she doesn't know that he's totally free, except she had been thinking of asking him to do something disgustingly festive with her, so she kind of wants to say no. She also wants Elsa to stop eyeing her meaningfully though, so she keeps her mouth shut.

“Nope, I'm free, what you thinking?”

“My friend Ashley is coming to town and we're all having a dinner, I'd love for you to meet her,” Mary Margaret gushes. She throws Emma an apologetic look. “Sorry, it's kind of a couples thing, I wouldn't want you to feel awkward.”

I manage just fine the rest of the time, she thinks more than a little bitterly. She knows exactly what her friend is doing, and maybe she doesn't like the thought of this dinner, but that's because she'll be the only one left out. But Ruby is giving her a challenging smirk, practically daring her to protest, and she bites her lip and shrugs instead.

“Surely you have a handsome friend [squirreled] away that you can introduce our Swan to? It hardly seems fair for her to be the only one without a partner at this time of year,” Killian protests.

“What about Sean?” David suggests.

“Sean's very sweet,” Belle pipes up.

“Excellent!” beams Killian, a hint of a challenge in his eye. “We'll have this lovely dinner together and we'll all have found ourselves with someone to warm our bed at night come Christmas.”

The thought of Killian pulling her into his side pops into Emma's head. She stabs her shepherd's pie ferociously and tries to forget about the set up they're obviously walking right into.

***

“I thought you were meant to protect me from awkward blind dates, not force one on me,” Emma hisses at Killian when she joins him at the sink to rinse the dirty dishes.

“The obvious intention behind it is to make each other jealous, what better way to show their dirty tricks don't work than by embracing the dates wholeheartedly?”

“But I don't want to embrace Sean!” Emma says, stomping her foot and throwing her hands up in disgust. She know she's acting like a teenager, but dammit, she doesn't want to play these games. She doesn't want anything but -

“Don't worry, I'll still be available for cuddles after.” His voice is matter of fact and he doesn't look at her, just calmly rinses the plates and loads the dishwasher. Like he hasn't said something monumental.

“Well, I mean - that's just - just beside the point” Emma sputters out. Like she's not the one missing the point. But now she feels awkward and Killian's pretty much dealt with the dishes so instead of think about that too hard she escapes back to Fort Hogwarts.

She's already lying in her spot before she notices that there's fucking mistletoe hanging right above her. Ruby is smirking at her triumphantly, Elsa has a look somewhere between apologetic and “it's for your own good you know” and Mary Margaret looks eager and excited. (Belle and Will are too busy making out to give her any kind of look and David looks embarrassed, but she considers them all guilty by association.)

That's when the rage strikes.

Of course she likes Killian, loves him even. There's no denying that he's her person or whatever you want to call it. (True Love, Mary Margaret would say like the Disney Princess Killian always accuses her of being.) But they're good, they're comfortable, no one has to break up with anyone and while kisses would be nice she doesn't need them. She's a strong, independent woman and if she wants to be single her friends should just stay the fuck out of it, however much they mean well, it's not their call.

Her heart's drumming as loud as all twelve drummers in that Christmas song, and there's a lump of coal forming in her throat. It's Seasonal Anger Disorder at its finest. Tis the season after all. She's practically shaking with fury by the time she notices that Killian's only gone and sat right next to her and that means they've been caught in that mistletoe trap.

“What are you doing?” she grits out through clenched teeth.

He jumps at her words, looking almost comically alarmed. “Ummm… I'm sitting down. This is my spot, my whole living room in fact…” He breaks off and scratches behind his ear.

He's uncomfortable, she's made him uncomfortable in his own home and she's so mad at herself for being so, so, Emma, about this all that she bites out her next words. “Well now we're stuck beneath the mistletoe!”

He looks up, and scrubs his hand over his face in frustration. He sighs.

“Why don't we just get it over with?” he says sounding tired and resigned to his fate.

Tears prick at her eyes. No. This isn't how she wants to kiss him. She glares down at the blankets and pillows. All that anger is turning to tears and she hates it and she hates this.

“Traitor,” she mutters trying to sound cool and detached.

“Hey,” Killian says and hooks a finger under her chin, tilting her face up to his. “It's ok, Emma, nothing you don't want, remember?” And he smiles and leans in, kisses her softly on the forehead and wraps his arms around her.

It's crazy but that sweet, chaste kiss does more for her than all the last five hookups she's had combined.

Her anger melts away and she just sinks into his warmth. He's got her. He always knows just what to do. That's why she loves him so much.

“Booooooo!” Ruby's loud cry breaks through their happy haze.

“Fuck off, Ruby” they say in unison.

“Kiss your girlfriend like a good girl and stop interfering,” Killian says. “I'm putting the next film on.”

And really what more is there to say?

***

The girls have the common sense to not try and spring anymore traps that night. Not involving parasitic plants at least. But while they're drying their eyes after Cederic dies Mary Margaret goes and brings up the dreaded words - Secret Santa. They're so predictable Emma could cry.

She doesn't even try to hide her eye roll when, in a move that would shock no one, her paper says Killian.

“It's all right, Swan, I got the perfect gift for you already picked,” Killian whispers in her ear.

“No cheating at Secret Santa!” Mary Margaret tuts with a twinkle in her eye.

“Hello pot, meet lump of coal,” Emma retorts.

“The name suits you,” Ruby deadpans.

“Are you saying I've got a heart of stone?”

“Don't be offended,” Killian butts in, “she's calling you a naughty girl.” The way he says that really shouldn't do things to her. And yet…

“No, she's calling you dirty,” Will pipes up, leaning forward and taken a sudden and very keen interest in the conversation. “Tell us, Emma, why would Ruby know how dirty you are?”

“One time she sees me post-run and pre-shower and suddenly I'm pegged as dirty. That's just rude.”

“Don't spoil my fun here! Did she help you shower, she did right?” Will's face is gleeful, while Belle is digging her elbow into his side and David looks ready to throttle him if he says another word.

“See what you started here?” Emma says to Ruby with an exaggerated sigh.

“Merry Christmas ya filthy animal,” Ruby replies with a wink.

“Bah humbug.”

“So Order of the Phoenix?” Killian interrupts.

“Hey wait, I don't think we're done taking the piss out of Emma,” Will whines.

“Her Scrooge is showing,” Killian says seriously, “let's appease her with Harry Potter before she starts getting grinchy.”

“But -”

“Don't test me Will, I'll go full Grinch. Don't forget I've heard your singing and have the scarred ear drums to prove it. It'll never make my heart grow several sizes and you'll be stuck without decorations, presents, roast beast.” Emma glares at Will meaningfully.

“Bloody hell, you really are a bad Santa, fine Jones, bring on the boy wizard.”

***

She honestly thought that the mistletoe nonsense was over long before they decided they needed sleep before the Harry Potter marathon could continue. But Mary Margaret surprises her with both a gift and her dogged pursuit of seasonal lip locking.

Mary Margaret passes over a perfectly wrapped present complete with tasteful bow. She tears into it gleefully and scowls when she sees what's inside: red pyjamas printed with white and sparkly silver mistletoe everywhere. “Oh you shouldn't have,” she says flatly.

“Tis the season!” Mary Margaret chirps.

“For oral apparently,” Emma says eyeing the mistletoe festooned crotch warily.

“Let's hope Mary M isn't the only person in a giving mood. Christmas is a loving, honest and charitable time, after all!” Ruby calls out.

“Are you seriously quoting Muppets Christmas Carol to call me a charity case?”

“Just your sex life.”

“I hate you all.”

***

She doesn't wear the pyjamas, she does, however, end up sharing a bed with Killian. Along with the rest of the gang. And by bed, she means floor in Fort Hogwarts. It's surprisingly comfy and with everyone else there it's undeniably completely platonic. Except that when she wakes up in the morning he has his arms around her and she's snuggling into his chest and it feels safe and right and intimate. It feels like love. And that's not scary, it's just good.

It's how she always feels with Killian, but waking up with him like this, just makes that feeling bigger somehow, overwhelming in the best kind of way. She could have that always. Couldn't she?

She shuffles a little, stretching out the beginnings of a cramp in her foot. His grip tightens, “go back to sleep, Swan” he mumbles into her hair.

That one little gesture is so small, but somehow it's everything. He's everything.

She's aware of her heart in a way she's never been before. Perhaps Killian just made it grow three sizes, or filled it with fairy lights, Christmas spirit and maybe an extra helping of love. She just knows he's it, he's her favourite and it's time to tell him that.

“I will always find you,” David says clearly still dreaming, his voice muffled by sleep or pillows, and she jumps in surprise. It's an unpleasant reminder that everyone's there, and they'll undoubtedly rub Emma's face in how right they were about her and Killian. Perhaps she'll just wait until they've gone to kiss him.

At that thought she reluctantly wriggles out of his arms, unwilling to let everyone else see them wrapped up in each other. He groans unhappily, the noise tugging at her heart such that she almost twists back into him, but he stays asleep and that's probably just as well. She feels cold without his embrace to warm her, and she needs coffee. She awkwardly crawls and stumbles her way out of Fort Hogwarts and into the kitchen, miraculously not waking anyone, even though she's sure she stepped on Will at one point.

She's slurping on her first coffee when Killian appears at her side. “Guess who made cinnamon rolls for breakfast?”

She turns to him, incredulous. “I thought we were only eating the finest British cuisine this weekend? I didn't know you Brits were into cinnamon rolls.. Isn't it all… I don't know, deep fried tea and bacon for breakfast?”

He wraps his hand around hers and pulls her coffee to his lips, it says something to how tired and befuddled she is by the whole exchange that she lets him. He takes a large gulp and licks his lips while she carefully watches him, far too fascinated by the movement of his tongue to have ever claimed that they were just friends.

She half expects a cheeky quip or his trademark clumsy wink, but he shrugs and scratches behind his ear instead and she doesn't know when they took a detour into awkward but she wonders if it's somehow her fault, if she killed the moment or something. “Aye, well, obviously deep fried grease was my first choice, but cinnamon rolls are your favourite.”

“You're my favourite,” she blurts out without thinking. He grins at her, and she knows that they're definitely back on track. His eyes are twinkling brighter than the shiniest Christmas tree and she realises she's actually fine with saying more than she meant to. She wonders how much brighter he'll glow when she tells him about all these feelings she's got. Properly. Something tells her that Santa won't need Rudolph to guide his sleigh to Killian's house after that, no matter how foggy it is.

“Do I smell coffee?” Belle interrupts and both of them startle at her words.

“Yeah, there's a pot, should be enough for all of us.” Emma says, still smiling, because Killian's still smiling and she doesn't mind the intrusion when she knows the moment’s going to be continued.

“God bless us, every one!” Belle says, diving for the coffee.

Emma doesn't stop smiling, but she does stop gazing at Killian, even if it's an effort. Later, she tells herself because now it's time for cinnamon and caffeine and for good to conquer evil in Fort Hogwarts.

***

She's confused when she spots the final mistletoe trap of Potterfest. It's just her and Killian left so who would've put it there? Unless… She looks at Killian thoughtfully then back to the mistletoe.

“Huh,” she says.

He follows her eyes. “There's no one around, we don't have to,” he says.

“Yeah, but, perhaps a little festivity is in order?”

He arches a brow at her. “Are you sure, Swan?”

“What, think you can't handle it?”

“Perhaps you're the one who couldn't handle it,” he retorts with a smirk and he's definitely goading her into it, but she's so ready to take the leap that she doesn't even care.

She yanks him to her, desperate to kiss him at last, she’s been waiting forever at least.

It’s so much better than she ever hoped.

That first moment is pure passion, lips pressed together hot and hard. As the fires burns brighter they melt into each other, totally consumed by the feeling.

If she’d known that he could kiss like this she’s sure she would’ve jumped on him sooner.

He’s the perfect combination of passionate and sweet. His lips are hard against hers. He’s tangling his fingers into her hair to hold her close. He’s crushing her against him like he’s aching to feel every part of her at once.

She knows that she needs to breathe, but why waste time on that when they can do this? How will she ever be able to stop kissing him?

When the need for oxygen becomes too strong she pulls her lips back from his, but lingers close, still feeling his breath on her face. Their foreheads touch and she opens her eyes, shaken to the core by the kiss.

She’s sure he feels the same. Eyes still closed and cheeks flushed, he’s panting, struggling to catch his breath enough to say “that was -”

“I love you.”

His eyes fly open at once, looking straight into hers with sheer delight. “Yeah?”

“Interesting answer,” she laughs. She’s as light as a feather. She's as happy as an angel. She’s as merry as a caroller with a belly full of sherry.

“I mean, obviously I love you too, I just never thought you’d be the one to say it first.”

“That’s fair, but can we do that kissing thing again? We need to make up for several year’s worth of lost time.”

He answers with a kiss.

[sserpente]

Pumpkin Spice Latte

Imagine taking Loki to Starbucks on a cold autumn day, introducing him to your favourite season-themed drink. Maybe he agreed to cuddle with you because of the caffeine...

A/N: Request from @nerd-domland, anon and @secretgaysonagirl. Autumn fluff coming your way. I guess I’m somewhat advertising Starbucks here but all I’m gonna say is that you should definitely try their pumpkin spice latte. It’s so good! Enjoy, everyone!

Words: 1485 Warnings: fluff

You should have put on your winter coat or your warm leather jacket—anything, really, to protect you from the cold. It had looked warm outside! The sun was shining, the brown, yellow and red leaves outside did not shiver from an icy wind and the sky was cloudless, vast blue stretching out above you peacefully.

Loki wasn’t bothered by the cold, naturally. As a Frost Giant, he wore no more than a dark blue jumper and black jeans. His hands and neck, covered partially by his raven hair, were exposed to the autumn air all the while you did not know how to possibly cover every inch of your skin to stop freezing. You were seriously tempted to walk into the next clothing store and buy a scarf, gloves and a hat…

“Can we go inside somewhere and warm up? Drink a coffee, maybe? I am so cold.” You admitted, teeth clattering as you spoke.

You had taken Loki to the National Library today. Thor and the others had gone out together, enjoying the sunny day at some kind of amusement park, something neither the God of Mischief nor you had been particularly fond of. So instead, you had decided to show him around the city yourself, resulting in a long stay in the National Library surrounded by millions of books you could tell he was desperate to read.

He had been smiling like a cat that got the cream when you handed him your library pass so he could borrow some of the books. Right now, with your green tote bag that said “I’d rather be at Hogwarts” filled with at least ten books, he almost looked like a completely normal man—only he wasn’t.

“So I have noticed. Underestimated the temperature, have we?” He teased, blue eyes glistening with mischief and a hint of mockery. You knew he didn’t mean it. You were one of the very few people the God of Mischief actually got along with, civilised conversations and shared meals included.

“Oh, shush! It looked warm outside, alright? Oh, there should be a Starbucks right around the corner. Let’s go have some coffee there and then head back home quickly before I turn to frost… no pun intended.” You added with an apologetic shrug. Loki only rolled his eyes in response. Although he finally seemed to have come to terms with the fact he was a Jötun, he still wasn’t particularly fond of it. It had taken you some time to convince him it was an admirable thing, especially when he used his powers to create icicles and even snowflakes with his bare hands.

“Very well. You lead the way.” He replied finally, following you inside the heated coffee shop. You took a deep breath when the warm air wrapped around you soothingly, the smell of fresh coffee beans filling your nostrils and the sounds of clattering cutlery and the rumbling of coffee machines in the background reaching your ears.

Not many people sat inside the café on a sunny day. Hardly anyone seemed to notice you had just brought a war criminal to Starbucks.

“What would you like to drink?” The God of Mischief did not have any money on him—you had paid for his sweater the other day as well but if you had known it was so easy to make him happy, you would have started doing things for him earlier. It both warmed and broke your heart, knowing that hardly anyone had ever done things for him.

“I’ll have what you are having.” He gave back, frowning at the menu before him. Surely, the many different hot and cold beverages confused him. Last week he had asked you what exactly coffee was. For the most part, he did not enjoy the black drink but you figured that even he would like a season-themed pumpkin spice latte, so this was what you ordered. Loki raised an eyebrow when you handed the cashier the banknote and told them your names so he could write them on the cup.

“Loki? Loki as in… brother of Thor, the Avenger?”

“The very same,” he snapped, rolling his eyes once more.

“Aren’t you supposed to be in… prison? You almost killed us all.”

“I almost ruled you all, there is a difference.” You could tell he was fuming. He hated it when people pointed out he was precious Thor’s brother, like he himself did not matter at all. He had never told you but the way his blue eyes flashed told you everything you needed to know. Inconspicuously, you reached for his hand and pressed it gently to calm him.

“Can you please just make our coffee? We are customers. I’d rather not ask to speak to the manager.” You said sweetly, the hint of threat lingering in your voice. When the cashier nodded with a startled expression and then shot Loki one last disgusted look, he turned and got to work.

“I’m sorry about that… we can just… take the coffee and warm up at home, how does that sound?”

Smirking, he reciprocated your grip on his hand, not letting you go when you moved. “It sounds much more appealing.” He responded, looking deep into your eyes and for just a moment, the world around you ceased to exist. Energy rippled through you like one of Thor’s lightning bolts but before either of you could make a move or say something, the cashier called your name.

“Two pumpkin spice latte for (Y/N) and… Loki.”

“Thank you very much.” And just like that, you grabbed your coffees, handed one to Loki and bolted Starbucks, heading home quickly so you wouldn’t start to freeze again but, after being exposed to the warm air inside the coffee shop, returning outside made it even worse.

You were trembling by the time you finally reached the elevator to Stark Tower and scanned your ID so the doors would open for you. You were desperate for a hot shower or even better, a hot bath with an orange-scented bathtub from Lush… and yet, watching Loki try his coffee was absolutely worth the wait.

His sound of approval when he took the first sip was among the cutest things you had ever heard.

“You like it?”

“I do. Thank you.” There it was again. That soft look… swallowing thickly, you took a sip of your own coffee and cleared your throat.

“You’re very welcome. Feel free the switch on the TV in my room. I’m going to get changed into some warmer clothes.” Though he was probably going to start reading his books right away—it’s how you found him mere minutes after, comfortable on your bed with his legs crossed and one of the books he had borrowed on his lap, reading with a focused expression on his face. His coffee, within his reach on your nightstand, seemed half empty already.

Loki loved spending time in your room, even if he would never admit that. You had chosen it because of the massive window right in front of the bed, granting you a breath-taking view of New York’s Central park. The vast spot of green was blooming with warm colours such as red, brown, gold, yellow and orange, announcing that autumn had finally arrived.

“Warmer yet?” The Trickster spoke without looking up from his book. Of course he would have heard you entering.

“Not really…” Stepping inside, you closed the door shut behind you and approached the bed, ready to bury yourself beneath your sheets, switch on the TV and enjoy the rest of your coffee before it got cold.

But when you lay down next to the God of Mischief, feeling his body heat radiating off of him as if he the cold outside had not affected him at all (which it hadn’t), another idea struck you.

Biting your lower lip, you looked up at him, admiring his concentrated expression for a while longer before speaking up again.

“Loki? Can we cuddle?”

Loki looked up in surprise. His gaze—tender and almost innocent—met yours. It took him a moment to reply, you could tell he was hesitating, making it clear to you he wasn’t used to this kind of affection. When was the last time someone had hugged him? When Frigga was still alive?

“Of course…” He finally replied, causing a content grin to form on your lips as you inched closer to him, wrapping an arm around his middle and resting your head on his chest. You could hear his heartbeat. Neither rapid nor calm, it immediately calmed you, ready to lull you to sleep. Only now did you notice how tired you actually were, eyelids threatening to fall shut.

The pumpkin spice latte had not helped to keep you awake and warm then. But it had drawn you even closer to a god you realised now you were falling in love with.

A/N: Guys, you can help me publish my first novel! It’s easy, it’s anonymous, you can do it from all over the world and it’s just 3€! Your help counts too, I’d appreciate it so much if you helped me fulfil my dream! ♥ ko-fi.com/sserpente  

[willowdrabbles]

1 day with daddy- MPD

Just little drabbles since my last post was for head canons. I’ll have to get to Kirisawa and Asano later, I’m drawing a complete blank for him at the moment since I have no clue how Hiroshi would be, but Asano would be absolutely perfect. But here’s the other guy’s I’ve done to far! I hope you enjoy anon!

Hanai- “Who do you even get this from?” “You left notes right?” Hanai confirmed, son in arms currently trying to climb to the top of his head. The little guy was a climber of all things, a trait he wasn’t quite sure where he got it from. “Notes on his nap time and reading time on the table, snack times and what to eat on the fridge-” “And bath time at eight right?” Hanai interrupted her, prying a small hand from his hair. She smiled wistfully and nodded, stepping up to them to give them each a kiss on the cheek before heading out. “Wish me luck!” She called just before shutting the door. “That should have been my line.” Hanai pouted, walking his overly energetic son to his play pen and setting him down. He was just about to walk to the kitchen to get himself something to drink when a loud wail shot through the house. “What the-” Turning around, Hanai found his son plopped on the ground, outside of the play pen. “How did you… oh no hush hush..” He rushed over to pick him up, double checking for any scratches or marks. Besides a small red mark on his head where he most likely landed, he was fine, and stopped sniffling the second he was in Hanai’s arms. “There, There, let’s not do that again hmm? How did you even…. Never mind, you probably learned from that right?” He mumbled half to himself, half to the little boy as he put him back into the playpen, set once more to get to the kitchen and get a drink. He made it halfway there before he heard a bonk and another loud wail. “Oh no-” Hanai rushed back into the living room to find him once again on the floor, wailing loudly even as he pushed himself up, a small bump forming on his head. “Come here you.” Hanai murmured, Picking him up once more and letting the small boy lean into his neck, playing with the edges of his shirt absentmindedly. All signs of tears were gone immediately. Being a profiler, Hanai suddenly understood what was going on. This would keep repeating because his son didn’t want to be apart from him. With a sigh he resigned himself to the fate of carrying him around for the rest of the day. Later on, he awoke to his wife gently prying his son off of him, a small smile on her face and delight shining in her eyes. “I’ll put him to bed, I brought home dinner, it’s in the fridge.”

Tennoji- “Babies need instruction manuals ya know!” “Can kids her age even eat green beans? What if I feed her something she can’t eat? What if she wont eat? What if-” She pressed a finger to his lips and smiled gently at him. His frantic eyes darting across her face looking for answers and reassurance. “I left snacks in the fridge, I’ll be home in time to make dinner. She pretty much entertains herself with her toys.” She let go of him and he sighed over dramatically. “What if she doesn’t like being with me?” He muttered sadly, his shoulders slumping. Never had he felt more at a loss, they were a team, they did everything together, how was he supposed to take care of a little girl by himself? Let alone a toddler? “Shut up you dummy.” She pulled him in for a quick kiss. “You’re half of her whole world. You’ll be fine, I trust you.” She left then, his eyes following his wife out. With another sigh he returned to the living room, looking at his daughter play with her stuffed animals on the ground. She spotted him immediately and staggered to her feet, fluffy pink bunny in her hands she wobbled over to him and offered him her favorite toy. “Papa!” The adorable reaction sent him into a blush and he sucked in a sharp breath of air before sweeping his daughter up into a hug and a spin, her laughter filling her ears. “Dangit you’re just too adorable!” he laughed with her “Maybe we’ll be okay.” Without any doubt they would be fine, his wife came home late, but to the shock of her life, to find her husband dancing around in his old bunny suit- when he saved it she wasn’t sure- and her daughter having the time of her life. 

Eiki- “All work and no play makes life boring. That’s how it goes right?” “Go on we’ll be fiiiiiine.” Eiki smiled at her reassuringly, their little girl clinging to his leg and smiling up at his wife adoringly. Since class had been cancelled because of snow, one of them had to stay behind to watch their kindergartener. She glanced between them with a frown. “Vegetables, no manga or anime until school work is done, okay?” She pinned the both of them with a hard look. Eiki waved her off. “Yeah yeah, kindergarten sheets, super difficult, we’ll be fiiiiine.” He grinned and leaned forward to press a kiss to her forehead. “Now get out of here, catch bad guys and all that.” Eiki smiled cheekily at her, making her smile back, completely unable to resist his boyish charm when he unleashed it on her. Their daughter was just as sly. “Alright…” She said finally, laving with a small wave and a smile. Eiki looked down at his daughter as soon as his wife was gone. “Well she didn’t say we couldn’t go play in the snow!” “Yay!” His little girl cheered, bouncing up and down. He patted her ashen blonde hair “Go get your jacket and gloves and boots and we’ll go to the park yeah?” Opening the door, his wife strode through with bags of food, her face tired from the long day of work. When she spotted her husband and his miniature on the couch, red noses and eyes, wrapped up in a bunch of fuzzy blankets on the couch, and anime on the tv, she scowled. “Hiiiiiiiiiiii darling.” Eiki called, echoed by a soft “Hiiiiiiiiiii mommy.” “What did you guys do?” She asked suspiciously, placing the food on the counter then her hands on her hips. “Well… The snow just looked like so much fun….” Eiki began, but stopped with a smile when his wife rolled her eyes. “Alright, I’ll make soup instead.” She said, unable to fight her laughter when she heard two hoarse cheers from the couch.

Nomura- “But why me?” “Your turn.” “But I-” “Your turn.” “How can-” “Your turn.” Nomura sighed in defeat as she turned away and walked back down the hallway, watching her with lingering eyes upon the sway of her hips and the bounce in her step. As much as he hated to say it, she was right. She had field work to do and he had to do his part in taking care of their son. Doing it with a pale green baby front side backpack was not his preference though. With baby strapped to his chest, he looked down at his son who joyously guaffed and reached for his dad’s beard. Having work to do, he turned and headed the other direction towards his office, knowing full well she probably already stashed his sons supplies, food and other care there.  “Wish me luck my little man.” He groaned, tightening the straps around his back as some pretty little thing in uniform walked by, giggling at the sight of him. As soon as she was out of earshot he groaned “It’s gonna be a long day.” Sure enough, at the end of the day when she came back to check on him, he was slumped back in his chair, passed out cold with baby food all over him, son still strapped to his chest, who was tapping at his keyboard with his little toes, as much as he could reach at least. “What am I gonna do with you?” She said with a laugh, making her poor husband jerk awake.

[yumenosakiacademy]

Cookie Run Ovenbreak Affection Lines Masterpost!

I decided to compile the cookies’ affection lines! Or, well, as many as i could. This list is missing all lines from Pomegranate, Cheesecake, Mint Choco, and Space Doughnut due to me not having them; almost all gift lines; and the chat lines from multiple cookies due to not having  the proper friends statuses yet, but I’ll update this w the lines as i gain more affection points!

(if you have any of lines I’m missing, feel free to let me kno what they r so I can add em to this masterpost! thank you! ^^)

[Google docs version of this here!! Easier to read this on there, imo!!]

Rockstar

Hi!

He-ey! Wanna rock?

You want an autograph? Or a selfie?

[thumbs up]

Grateful from the bottom of my big heart!

Aw yeah!

[chat]

I wanna try writing my music with silver ink!

This song’s for all the cookies who got cavities from too much Black Sugar!

I’m the icon of rock music!

I will rock forever!

Blackberry

Hi!

May I assist you with anything?

Greetings. I suggest we get started immediately.

[thumbs up]

I see. Thank you.

I do not deserve such praise.

[chat]

Vanished again? Not surprised.

A melted black sugar crystal can become quite a nuisance.

I can handle it myself. Do not worry.

I’ve heard of crystals as pure as stars in the night sky.

White Choco

Hi!

Right on time!

Every second counts! Shall we begin training?

[thumbs up]

Ha, thanks to my regimen.

Thank you, mon ami!

[chat]

Victory is decided in a single moment! En garde!

My handkerchief is gone! How many is that now?

Glass breaks so easily.

A perfectly wrapped gift is always welcome.

Dark Choco Cookie

Hi!

Darkness... approaches...

Don’t come... any closer...

[thumbs up]

What is the meaning of this...

You... are quite special...

[chat]

I have no need... for grass...

You too... are afraid of me...

I used to have... a dream...

I’ve... always regretted... my past...

Lemon

Hi!

Yeah, hello.

You’re the type who likes to say hello, huh.

[thumbs up]

Sure, I guess.

Really? Wouldn’t know.

[chat]

Playing with a lemon cube is calming.

I’ve been listening to EDM lately.

Breaking out is nothing with electricity on your side.

I don’t know what’ll happen without a lemon cube.

Angel

Hi!

I’ve been waiting for you...

Pleased to meet you...

[thumbs up]

Such a kind person...

These are the kindest words I’ve heard...

[chat]

I like to give blessings... Bless you!

Will I ever learn to fly...?

I wish everyone was always happy...

I don’t like things that can be used as weapons...

Ninja

Hi!

Yes..?

Tss..!

[thumbs up]

Thank you. But my skills are far from perfect.

I deserve no compliments yet!

[chat]

The wind of change is coming...

Remember: every great deed begins with discipline!

I do like things that remind me of the ocean...

I must resist the temptations of treasures...

Pirate

Hi!

Huh? Got a treasure?

What? found a treasure?

[thumbs up]

Give treasures, not words! Kha-ha!

Okay, okay. Now where do ye hide the treasures?

[chat]

Pirates never die!

I wish I could just turn things into treasures! Kha-ha!

Pirates need no certificates! Kha-ha!

I am the terror of the sea!

Chili Pepper

Hi!

Guess how high my bounty is?!

Watch your pockets!

[thumbs up]

Doesn’t mean I’m not going to steal from you!

Are you trying to get on my good side?

[chat]

I’m here! Beg for mercy!

If you want something, then take it!

I want a hot and flashy pouch!

Hand over your treasures! Not that shiny sugar stuff!

Adventurer

Hi!

A new day, a new adventure!

Onwards to new lands!

[thumbs up]

No one can stop my treasure hunt!

Hm, seems like my adventures weren’t dangerous enough...!

[chat]

I’m looking for a legendary key to a legendary door!

Glass bottles are too fragile to take on adventures!

Let’s go treasure hunting!

Shh! This meeting is just between us!

Whipped Cream

Hi!

Ballet is truly the most elegant of dances.

The world must become happy!

[thumbs up]

Graceful bow of thanks!

Humble bow of thanks!

[chat]

I want to dance in a serene forest!

I hope everyone becomes happy after watching me dance...

I desire a crystal as green as the forest...

I’ve never been to the sea... It’s rather frightening.

Cherry Blossom

Hi!

Come on! It’s perfect weather for a picnic!

Hi there! Do you like cherry blossoms?

[thumbs up]

Thank you! Another sandwich?

Thanks! Another cup of tea?

[chat]

I’d like to fly with the wind!

Such a lovely, soft breeze.

What do I need for a picnic? Crumpled paper just won’t do!

I like sugar crystals that go well with the spring breeze!

Vampire

Hi!

Do I know you?

Ah... You! Hello?

[thumbs up]

Thanks, but I’m not sharing my juice!

Yes, yes, just drink already!

[chat]

Treasures? Meh! I’ve got too many of them...

Everyone’s always running, but no one knows why!

I’d like to color my juice crimson... Can you help?

Let’s have a glass of grape juice!

Hero

Hi!

Hello there! Wanna join our Breakout campaign?

Hi! Oh, please don’t mind the machine oil!

[thumbs up]

You’re a really good friend!

Really? Thanks!

[chat]

What do you mean you know who I am?

I’m looking for a nice hammer these days...

There’s a hero that helps cookies! Neat, huh?

The present is more important than old legends!

Dr. Wasabi

Hi!

Would you like to volunteer for a special experiment? He-he-he!

I’m busy experimenting! Ha-ha!

[thumbs up]

I was always great! Ha-ha!

You didn’t know that? He-he-he!

[chat]

Want some special Wasabi Syrup? He-he-he!

I’ve memorized everything, so no need! Ha-ha!

This experiment needs a winding key..!

I’m tellin’ ya! My research will turn the world upside down!

Princess 

Hi!

Ready for an adventure?

A nice day for a little walk!

[thumbs up]

Ah, it’s impossible to get tired of compliments!

You are pretty cute yourself!

[chat]

Will you ever take me to the land’s end?

I’ve got so many Violet Sugar Crystals recently!

Legends say there’s a gold key that opens a secret door...

Having fun everyday, that’s the princess’s way!

Devil

Hi!

Lookie-lookie... Who’s so polite here?

What do you need?

[thumbs up]

Blergh! I hate compliments...

What... You talking to me?

[chat]

I hate blessings!

He-he! Seen a cookie more terrifying than me?

Is that a ghost behind you? IT WAS A JOKE! Mua-ha-ha-ha!

Bring me something NOT FROM THIS GALAXY! Ha-ha!

Alchemist

Hi!

Don’t you see I’m busy? Sit there and don’t touch anything!

Yes, yes, could you pass me that ampoule?

[thumbs up]

Fair enough!

Yes, I know, thank you very much!

[chat]

I’ve learned all my textbooks by heart!

My laboratory is filled with useless crumpled paper...

What if I mix this... and that?

Oh, I’d love to examine an ancient relic!

Mustard

Hi!

Do you think all cookies have to be sweet?

Got something to say?

[thumbs up]

Ugh...Thanks, I guess.

Don’t judge me!

[chat]

Society’s expectations of treasures is pointless!

Copper ink might go well with mustard spray...

No one can keep me down!

All cookies deserve to be happy!

Knight

Hi!

Great day for a tournament!

Knight Cookie, at your service!

[thumbs up]

You are too kind!

Oh... Really?!

[chat]

The Princess would love something pink...

There is a Cookie I’d protect with my life!

I take no interest in old Cookie Chests...

Know any villains I must defeat?

Muscle

Hi!

I feel mighty today!

My muscles are glad to see you!

[thumbs up]

Guess I won’t smash you after all.

One... Two... Wha?

[chat]

Wanna see my muscles?

Plants won’t make your muscles grow!

Need something heavy to work on my legs!

Strength and muscles is all a Cookie needs!

Cheerleader

Hi!

Today is your day!

Go-o-o-o.... COOKIES!

[thumbs up]

You’re the best teamplayer!

That’s what I call a positive charge!

[chat]

The lighter the cheerleading equipment, the better!

Need some energy? Cheerleader Cookie is to the rescue!

You can do it! Go, go, go!

I could really use some Blessing Powder...

Red Bean

Hi!

Want a ride on my sled?

I never get cold!

[thumbs up]

Penguins love compliments, too!

Fish Treat Jellies are great, and so are compliments!

[chat]

I like surprises!

Swoosh, swoosh! Sledding is great!

Snowy days need to have snowball fights!

Pink isn’t really my color.

Zombie

Hi!

Urghhh...

Huh?

[thumbs up]

Give... Jelly...?

Huh...

[chat]

Ancient... Old...

Fresh Jellies... Want...

Ink... Hate... Blergh!

Hungry... Always...

Soda

Hi!

Hey! Wanna go surfing?

The waves are calling!

[thumbs up]

Awesome! Let’s hit the waves!

Thanks! Surf’s up!

[chat]

I’m kinda afraid of open flames...

Ever felt the thrill of surfing?

I like Sugar Crystals that remind me of the sea!

Yeah! Perfect weather for surfing!

Gingerbrave

Hi!

Hi, friend! Up for some fun?

Hello there!

[thumbs up]

Oh, you shouldn’t have... But thanks, friend!

You’re the best! Thank you!

[chat]

I can escape without any certificates, uh-huh!

Why does everyone keep giving me these weird looks...?

I can escape from here! You’ll help me, won’t you?

My favorite sugar crystals contain the power of earth!

Gingerbright

Hi!

Good luck today!

I think you’re gonna have a great day today!

[thumbs up]

Ah, I’m so happy I’m gonna dance!

Oh! you made my day!

[chat]

What’s my favorite food? Sweet and cute Jellies!

I don’t really like old things....

All cookie friends are so nice! Running together is the best thing ever!

Shiny yellow crystals are my favorite!

Skater

Hi!

H! That’s “Hi” if you say it fast!

Hey! Let’s ride!

[thumbs up]

Yo, that’s cool!

Hey, I’m like really touched!

[chat]

Life is speed, speed is life!

I wanna get a real, official certificate for something...

Wanna learn how to ride the board?

Ancient things? No thank you!

Strawberry

Hi!

Um... Hi?

ARGH! You scared me.

[thumbs up]

You want become friends...? With me? [the typo is in-game]

Um... I mean... Ahem.

[chat]

My hobby? I like playing video games. Alone...

Am i blushing again?

I hate heavy things...

My favorite sugar crystals? Well, I like spring breeze, so...

Gumball

Hi!

Want me to make a masterpiece?

Gumball cannon coming through!

[thumbs up]

You understand my art?! You’re a genius!

Ho! You’ve got quite an eye!

[chat]

I prefer colorful and flashy over black.

I’ll color everything!

I hate boredom!

Bubblegum and silver paper go hand-in-hand!

Carol

Hi!

Let’s sing for peace together!

Hello! What kind of music do you enjoy?

[thumbs up]

Your compliments give me the strength to continue my work!

I’m glad that you like my singing..!

[chat]

Shall I sing a song for you?

I’m not really fond of crimson-colored things...

A good song can help you find inner peace!

I’m looking for a sugar crystal full of positive energy…

Grapefruit

Hi!

Amazed by my speed?

Skates are the best!

[thumbs up]

Ha-ha! You like skating, too?

Hm... I guess I can hang out for a bit.

[chat]

Fastest skater around!

I don’t like old stuff!

Why does everyone like ball games? Hmph!

Grapefruit: If only everyone knew how fast I skate!

[gift]

I like gifts! 

Cherry

Hi!

Let’s play together! We’ll have so much fun!

Hello! Like cherries? Oh you better do..!

[thumbs up]

Aww! My heart’s gonna explode!

Thanks! Want a bomb?

[chat]

Hold this for a sec! It should be fine..!

Wanna blow up a bomb together?

Using Blessing Powder in bombs is a no no!

I wanna make a time bomb… but I need a winding key!

Pilot

Hi!

Want to hop on my plane?

Ah, a friendly face!

[thumbs up]

Hoho! Thanks!

Cheers! To You!

[chat]

Nothing like a butterscotch on a plane!

What am I supposed to do with a bent key?

I will always chase my dream!

I used to write letters on bronzed paper.

Pistachio

Hi!

No one can stop me!

Did you come to help me save the world?

[thumbs up]

Even your sweet words can’t shake my will!

I take it you’re being sincere...

[chat]

What is the thing most dearest to you?

I don’t have time for mysteries..!

I’d appreciate a trusty silver weapon..!

May the light guide my path!

Skating Queen

Hi!

I’m pretty busy today, but hello!

Come to watch me practice?

[thumbs up]

Frankly, I get a lot of compliments. But yours are special..!

Thank you for cheering me up!

[chat]

Well... I’m a bit afraid of old Cookie Chests...

My next performance will surprise you!

Keep your body in good condition!

I like things that remind me of cold winter nights...

[FROM HERE ONWARDS IS THE COOKIES THAT R MISSIN SOME LINES]

Matcha

Hi!

Hehehe...

Hoohoo...

[thumbs up]

??... Pff...

???... Teehee...

[chat]

Hoo... Hate toys...

Hoohoo... No one will know...

Hehe... Curious...

[missing line 4]

[gift]

Hehe...

Yoga

Hi!

Healthy Cookie, healthy mind!

Namaste.

[thumbs up]

Ah... such peace.

Many thanks!

[chat]

Best to put aside all heavy equipment before meditating!

Let us meditate together. Om shanti shanti. Om...

Empty your mind.

[missing line 4]

Avocado

Hi!

Why aren’t grapes ever lonely? ‘Cuz they grow in bunches! Haha!

What’s the loudest pet you can get? A trumPET!

[thumbs up]

Haha! thanks! Need a weapon?

Hahaha! I’ll tell you my secret for making jokes!

[chat]

It’s too hot to grow anything here! Haha!

How does a cow laugh? Moo-ha-ha-ha! LOL!

What tree grows chickens? A poulTREE! Haha!

[missing line 4]

Fire Spirit

Hi!

My flames are eternal!

Wanna see what real flames look like?

[thumbs up]

Ahaha! Let’s burn it up!

Are my flames that hot? Haha!

[chat]

Sugar crystals of the forest just burn up in my presence.

My flames cannot be stopped!

They say true love is like an eternal flame...

[missing line 4]

Peppermint

Hi!

I hear the waves.

Will you walk along the beach with me?

[thumbs up]

Thank you. You’re a good friend.

Peppermint Whale wants to be friends with you, too.

[chat]

Close your eyes and listen to the sea.

The oceans are sad to have sad legends...

A hammer? What do I do with it...

[missing line 4]

Moonlight

Hi!

I’ve seen you in my dreams.

So you are the one who has awakened me.

[thumbs up]

I will remember this day.

I feel like I am dreaming.

[chat]

Let go of your worries with the flow of dreams.

Paint a lovely picture from the stars in your dreams.

A treasure is always worth something. What is your treasure?

[missing line 4]

Sparkling

Hi!

Here again I see.

What can I get for you today?

[thumbs up]

This special order’s just for you!

Haha, there’s still more!

[chat]

Savor it, taste the aroma!

Can’t make juice with a hammer...

A new drink... just for you!

[missing line 4]

Moon Rabbit

Hi!

Hallo!

Do you wike wice cakes? Wanna twy some?

[thumbs up]

Thanks! Wanna wice cake?

I wanna gib you some full moon wice cakes!

[chat]

Ew... wice cakes fwom an old box!

I wanna full moon wice cake af big af the moon!

Gimme moa yummy wice cakes!

[missing line 4]

Orange

Hi!

Hi! What a fresh day!

Clear skies! Perfect for some tennis!

[thumbs up]

That was refreshing!

I’m all charged up!

[chat]

Zesty... SMASH!

Nothing is as invigorating as tennis!

Crumpled paper? For what?

[missing line 4]

Fairy

Hi!

May the sun shine upon you!

May the winds blow your way!

[thumbs up]

Your heart is as pure as spring water..!

You’re so kind..!

[chat]

I like peace and calm...

Paper is made from trees! How horrible!

Green fields, whispers of leaves... That’s what I like..!

[missing line 4]

Kiwi Biker

Hi!

I’m a lone wolf...

I have the need to RIDE!

[thumbs up]

Hm... Guess I am a bit sentimental.

Haha, you need a ride?

[chat]

If I can ride there, I’m going!

Crumpled paper? What gives?

Wind in the face and endless roads made me who I am.

[missing line 4]

Lime

Hi!

Wanna play ball?

Perfect weather for the beach!

[thumbs up]

I’ve heard that before!

I’m used to such compliments!

[chat]

Hey, I’m talking to you!

I don’t like annoyances!

[missing lines 3-4]

Pink Choco

Hi!

Do you wish to fall in love?

Love conquers all!

[thumbs up]

Your words give me the power to continue on my mission!

It’s nice to know someone appreciates your work!

[chat]

Solving cubes is not really my strong side...

It’s important to love yourself too!

[missing lines 3-4]

DJ

Hi!

Ready to party?

Hey, let’s party!

[thumbs up]

Let’s crank up the tempo!!

All right!! Time for an encore!

[chat]

Hope no one’s burned out yet!

Watch out for my rig!

[missing lines 3-4]

Salt

Hi!

Don’t underestimate the ocean.

Need to head out to open sea once more.

[thumbs up]

I’m no ordinary old Cookie!

Patience is key...

[chat]

Another storm has passed...

My boat can’t handle this weight...

[missing lines 3-4]

Ice Candy

Hi!

With you, losing is next to impossible!

Hey! You’re here to train!

[thumbs up]

Hahaha! I’m going to train harder!

If you get checked, I’ll check them back!

[chat]

An ancient chest? Hm... Let’s get to training!

With teamwork, victory is assured!

[missing lines 3+4]

Cocoa

Hi!

Perfect day for a cup of cocoa.

How about a cup of cocoa?

[thumbs up]

Words as sweet as cocoa!

I feel as warm as cocoa!

[chat]

I’d like to wind down by taking a dip in hot cocoa!

I like cocoa better than ink.

[missing lines 3 and 4]

Kumiho

Hi!

Hi, sweetie!

Would you like me to guess your name?

[thumbs up]

Ah, have you already fallen for my charm..?

Ah, you try so hard to learn my secrets..!

[chat]

Who do we have here..?

[missing lines 2, 3, and 4]

Wind Archer

Hi!

The forest’s strength will purify all life...

I must never forget my mission...

[thumbs up]

It is my duty to protect this place...

My mission is still incomplete...

[chat]

The forces of Darkness cannot withstand the arrows of life...

[missing lines 2, 3, and 4]

Herb

Hi!

You’re as dazzling as the sun!

Hello there. I grew these herbs.

[thumbs up]

You’re an amazing friend!

Compliments always warm the heart!

[chat]

I like to listen to the rain.

[missing lines 2, 3, and 4]

Muay Thai / Red Pepper

Hi!

I’m ready for a new challenge!

All right! Let’s begin!

[thumbs up]

If I fall down, I jump right back up!

Thanks! Don’t give up!

[chat]

Never miss a day of training!

Treasures are a distraction!

[missing lines 3 and 4]

Pancake

Hi!

Is that Acorn Jelly for me?

Give me an Acorn Jelly!

[thumbs up]

Am i cute? Am i cute?!

Wink wink! Hehehe!

[chat]

Let’s play! Yeah! XD

But… but… I don’t like studying.

[missing lines 3 and 4]

Snow Sugar

Hi!

Is it winter yet..?

Let’s have a snow fight!

[thumbs up]

You seem like such a good friend!

No one’s ever told me this before!

[chat]

I like it when the white snow is falling!

Snow King said that old chests might be dangerous...

[missing lines 3 and 4] 

Millennial Tree

Hi!

Welcome. I’ve prepared a spot for you.

Fate has brought another new meeting.

[thumbs up]

The Forest welcomes you.

Thank you. such kindness.

[chat]

The Darkness will soon be purified.

[missing lines 2, 3, and 4]

[gift]

I humbly accept this gift!

Dark Enchantress

Hi!

The eternal night beckons.

You are able to see the Darkness...

[thumbs up]

Praise!

All will kneel before me!

[chat]

[missing ALL lines] 

Sea Fairy

Hi!

I shall not freeze anymore.

This must be fate.

[thumbs up]

You have such a warm heart.

Thank you...

[chat]

[missing ALL lines] 

Cream Puff

Hi!

I’m practicing magic every day!

I will become a great wizard someday!

[thumbs up]

Thanks! I am giving it my best!

I will make it this time!

[chat]

Oh no… What went wrong?

[missing lines 2, 3, 4]

Popcorn

Hi!

Quick! The movie’s about to start!

This should be enough popcorn, right?

[thumbs up]

A true five-star compliment!

A compliment as sweet as caramel popcorn!

[chat]

[missing ALL lines] 

Wizard

Hi!

Can’t you see I’m busy?

Can it wait? I’m working on a new spell!

[thumbs up]

Finally, someone recognized my achievements!

Hm! I like what you’re saying!

[chat]

[missing ALL lines] 

Werewolf

Hi!

Please, don’t come any closer...

Get away...

[thumbs up]

My scar aches...

Don’t expect much from me...

[chat]

[missing ALL lines] 

Squid Ink

Hi!

Who... you?

Always... lonely...

[thumbs up]

Don’t... know...

I know... nothing...

[chat]

[missing ALL lines] 

Macaron

Hi!

Repeat after me! One, two! One, two!

Ready to march? One, two! One, two!

[thumbs up]

Thanks for cheering!

Let’s start our parade!

[chat]

Light steps! Bright smiles!

[missing lines 2, 3, and 4]

Tiger Lily

Hi!

Gyaa!

Rarr..!

[thumbs up]

Grr... grr...

[missing 2nd line]

[chat]

[missing ALL lines]

[getoutofthisplace]

Dear Gus,

Today is my 37th birthday. What follows is the detailed account I posted to Facebook of how I spent the day, but I left out the part where after my meeting and before we started filming, I ducked into the conference room to see the Fayetteville engineers being introduced to the tinker kit the North Little Rock engineers opened up yesterday.

I wake up at the Courtyard Marriott in Fayetteville. It is dark. I reach for the bedside table and feel around for my phone, which lights up. My background image pictures Gus sitting in Liz’s lap. He looks older in the photo than he is in real life. Liz looks as beautiful as she is in real life. It’s 4:45am on the dot because that’s when Gus has been waking me up lately. It takes me a while to go back to sleep, but I think I finally crash at 5:30, and wake up to my alarm at 6:45. While I shower, I listen to The Cure Radio on my phone, which stops suddenly. I peek through the clear shower curtain to see that Liz is calling me. The music comes back when she hangs up. I dry off and call her back.

“Happy birthday!” she says. And then we talk about the sleep we got and didn’t get the night before. We talk about what Gus ate in the previous 24 hours. And while we talk I stare at myself in the mirror, trying to identify the differences in my body at 37 years old versus when I was in my 20s. I don’t remember my body from my 20s anymore. I try to convince myself I look exactly the same.

“Have a good day,” Liz says, “I love you.”

I get dressed and make my way downstairs to cash in my breakfast voucher for toast, bacon, fruit, and two eggs.

“How would you like your eggs cooked?” the woman behind the counter asks.

“Over-medium.” I used to ask for my eggs to be cooked over-easy, but it occurred to me last year that I have probably been ordering them that way out of habit for decades. I actually like my eggs cooked over-medium. The fascinating thing about this change in my egg order is that it hasn’t affected any change in the way my eggs are actually cooked. It turns out, most people in the kitchen don’t know how to make eggs over-medium. All of those egg orders never actually mattered, it seems. I was always going to get the same eggs, no matter the order.

I sit with Bryan Stafford and eat my breakfast while he drinks his coffee and we discuss an email we earlier that will likely mean we will soon head to Dallas to do what it is that we do. We work for a 100-year-old engineering firm that—among other things—pays us to make short videos. I write them, Bryan films them, and we direct them together. We’re a good team.

We drive over to the office and I make my rounds to say hello to the people I know and like in our Fayetteville office while Bryan unloads gear. I find an empty office and respond to emails. I run a quarterly conference call between the company’s 26 offices. Sometimes I worry that people are saying “Guy’s call is terrible. I dread it every quarter.” But I feel like if people are saying that, there is someone else close that will say, “At least he keeps it short.” On the call yesterday, though, I got worried the call would unravel when a lot of people wanted to spend time ribbing the guy in our Huntsville, Alabama office about the Clemson game. I am kind of proud of myself for steering the ship beyond that quickly.

I have another call at 10:45 about Bryan and I having to go to Dallas. We solidify our plans. After the call, Bryan and I don’t say anything to each other, and it occurs to me that we are both texting our respective wives about our impending absence.

“Liz isn’t going to like this,” I say.

“Yeah, my wife and I are sending our youngest to college and it looks like she’s going to get a little me-time in her first week with an empty nest.”

But in the end, our wives are very tolerant of our work's demands. They know who they married and how we operate.

“This is a really nice chair,” I say to Bryan. “I wish my chair in North Little Rock was this comfortable.” And then we stand up. We have a busy day.

While Bryan starts setting up for our afternoon video shoot, I take the elevator down to my truck. I need to dress our CEO up like a 15-year-old for the video. The night before, I picked him up a flat-billed Fayettechill hat, but I need to find him some kind of bright-colored jacket to complete his ensemble.

“Do you have any more of these in the back?” I ask a purple-haired girl at Hot Topic at the mall. “I need a medium, if you have it.” The jacket in question is covered in loud colors and Japanese logographs and appears to reference Dragonball Z. But when the girl comes back, she tells me they don’t have any more.

I find a store called The Geek Realms that looks like it will be gone in three weeks. Nothing is organized. “Hello,” a voice says from an unidentified place. I look around but don’t see anyone, so I simply respond loudly to a neverending rack of stickers in the middle of the store—“Hello.” I gravitate toward a clothing rack of hoodies. I find one that is an outer space print that says “I’m a dreamer” across the chest. I can’t decide if that one is better than the one that has a giant white lion’s face across the front. I buy them both.

I have 45 minutes to grab lunch before I’m due back to the office for another meeting. I want sushi. I go to Kobe, a Japanese place across the street from my hotel and bypass the line at the host stand to sit at the bar. I order the chirashi bowl and a water, and I try to order food to-go for Bryan and Laura, but the server says I can order it when I’m halfway finished with my meal. I am in a hurry and want to order it immediately so I don’t have to wait later, but I don’t insist. I don't want to be an asshole. I trust the server knows what she’s doing.

The chirashi is really good. I order Bryan the teriyaki chicken and Laura a chicken avocado salad. I pay my tab and finish my meal. The to-go orders aren’t ready yet. I have to wait. I am going to be late to my meeting with the three most powerful leaders at my place of employment. The server tells me the kitchen got slammed and so things are taking longer than normal. I make a mental note to insist that I order when I want to the next time I’m in this situation. If this were a major restaurant chain, I would start preparing my email to them.

I beat two of the three executives to my meeting, even though I'm a few minutes late. The meeting goes well, but it runs long and I worry our video shoot is going to run long. I worry we won’t be able to finish tonight and I’ll have to spend another night in Fayetteville. But we eventually start filming and it is fun to see the script I wrote come to life.

Everyone has to fight the urge to laugh on camera because we are doing something fun and funny. Our CEO is wearing the white lion hoodie. These are the days when I love my job.

We wrap up around 4:30pm. I sit down to my laptop and respond to emails while Bryan starts packing up gear. Our CEO usually leaves the costume items I buy for him, but after he changes clothes this time, he doubles back to grab the hat, the outer space shirt, and the white lion hoodie. It makes me laugh to think that he liked those clothes, that he might one day wear them in the future. Also, I’m a little disappointed that I didn’t get to keep that hoodie.

I say goodbye to Bryan, who will stay in Fayetteville another night to accompany his son to orientation at the university in the morning. I take the elevator down to my truck and head toward the interstate back to North Little Rock.

Liz calls. She has just picked up Gus from school. I can hear him in the background. She was worried I’d be late, but for the past month we’ve been sharing our locations with each other via our phones. She checked it and was relieved to see my little dot is on the road home. She asks if she should plan on me being home for dinner, but I tell her I’ll grab something on the way.

I end up at a place called Crosswoods just off the interstate in Clarksville. The restaurant’s website showcased bright photos and referenced the chef by name, but when I got there, it looked like a strip club from the outside. Inside, there are pool tables and two men at the bar, one of whom is wearing orange camouflage. I sit down at the bar beside the video crack machine and the puffy-faced 22-year-old dude behind the bar says, “Can I help you?” in a way that suggests he gained his hospitality industry training while pouring concrete for the new local motel.

Before I arrived, I planned to order a salad, but upon seeing the place, I feel like the "chef" is probably best suited to prepare meat and potatoes, so I order a steak with twice baked potatoes. For my second side, I ask the puffy-faced kid what he likes, to which he replies, “The green beans are pretty good,” so I go with that.

Duke and Wake Forest are on the television. The man in the camouflage hat asks me who my team is, and I tell him the Little Rock Trojans. The man said his dad had graduated from UALR, but he likes the Razorbacks. “Everybody does,” I say. The man lived in North Little Rock a long time ago, but then he moved to Pope County, and now he’s been in Johnson County for 22 or 23 years. He looks at the puffy-faced kid who is handing him another Busch can--unopened, strangely--and the man in camouflage says, “Long enough to want to leave, but too long to actually do it, you know. Nothing to do here.” I nod in some kind of false solidarity.

I pay my bill and walk out. No one says anything to me. I finish disc 10 of 13 of my audiobook of Watership Down just as I roll into the Shell station in Park Hill, a couple of miles from my house. It is just after 8pm and I can barely keep my eyes open. I go to bed before 9pm these days.

When I pull into the driveway, I turn the truck off and sit in silence for a few seconds. I am tired. I walk in the front door, my dog Suki meets me immediately and gyrates with excitement. The house is quiet, Liz has already put Gus to bed. She’s on the couch studying. I let Suki out the back door and kiss Liz. “Happy birthday,” she tells me again. I unpack my bag and brush my teeth.

“Are you going to bed?” Liz asks.

“I think so,” I say. And I walk to our bedroom, lie down in bed, make a couple of moves in the Open Face Chinese Poker game I play for a quarter a point against my cousin John and my friend Barrett, and I fall asleep quickly. This is who I am at 37 years old.

Dad

Fayetteville, Arkansas. 1.8.2019 - 1.46pm.

[kriskebob-blog]

Day 1, Part 1: Me vs. the grocery store

Hi again. It was really nice to hear from some of my friends and family in response to my post last night! I’m really excited to know that some people are down to read my long-ass posts about plants. I’ve also had several people offer me cookbook suggestions or even offer to have me plunder their own stash. Thanks for being my enablers, guys! (No seriously, thank you, I love you all sm.) Also, I can now reveal that my grandma texted me this morning to confirm she did indeed read my first post to its end. She’s the best!!!! This blog is rapidly evolving into a dual-purpose food/my grandma fan page and I can’t be sorry for it. 

So it’s Friday afternoon as I write this but the day I’ll be writing about is actually Wednesday. Can you tell it took me a little while to get going with the actual blogging part of this project? Anywho, I woke up Wednesday and after taking some time to wake up with a coffee, I flipped open my shiny new How Not to Die cookbook to the pages with the 2-week meal plan. I scanned the lists of recipes, already nervous. There were so many listed for every single day. I’m used to preparing dinner each night and eating leftovers for my lunches. For years my tried-and-true breakfast almost every single day has been two hard-boiled eggs and a piece of toast. So I’m really only used to having to prepare a fully involved meal once a day. You wanted to do this, I reminded myself. You have the summer off. You have the time! Trying to calm my nerves, I opened up the notes app on my laptop and began typing the names of the suggested recipes. There are no page numbers referenced on the meal plan pages, which would have made things a lot easier, just sayin’, Dr. Greger! I found the recipes and opened the grocery list Google Doc I’ve shared with my husband since we moved in together. I started typing up a shopping list. 

This was more than 48 hours ago at this point, but luckily I did stop to write down some initial thoughts. I shall share them with you now, verbatim: 

How the f@#! am I going to buy everything we need for all this? How will it fit in my fridge? Will I spend literally all day prepping all of this? Am I even going to be able to find everything I need for these recipes? 

...

16 recipes compared to my normal 4, MAYBE 5. Eating this way is obviously the vanity project of the wealthy wtf

...

It’s only two weeks. I can spend 2374623645 dollars on food for just half a month right? right?? It’s normal to spend money on hobbies? Gah

...

What the hell is date sugar?

...

I am definitely using vanilla extract instead of buying a giant vanilla bean Fresh turmeric? Where would even sell that? Ground sounds just fine to me

I noted that I began this process at 8:55. At 9:21 I wrote:

I give up… because I can already tell I’m going to be buying WAY too much produce to fit into my crisper drawer. The original plan had been to stock up enough stuff to carry me through until Monday but I can see now that’s just not going to be realistic at all. I’ll stock up on enough stuff to get me through to Friday night. I don’t want to grocery shop on the weekend if I can help it. I’ll just go again on Friday. Then I’ll probably have to go again on Monday, maybe Tuesday if I’m lucky. That’ll be three grocery store stock-ups in one week. I wanted a hobby, didn’t I?? Time to go back and redo my list to only reflect recipes for the next three days then.

I put a break in my recipes list. Alright. That brings me from 16 recipes to 8. Feels much more manageable. I look at the huge list of ingredients I amassed on my Google doc and decide it’d be easier to just delete it and restart from scratch than go through and try to remember what I now do and don’t need. 9:30.

9:45 - done. Still a LONG list. This is only for 2 days plus a dinner. But to be fair I did include stuff for a couple of desserts.

I’m a tad concerned by how none of these recipes call for ANY salt.

I was more than a tad concerned, actually. But I had my mission lined out. It was time to head to Big Y. 

Of the common local grocery store chains in Connecticut, Big Y is probably the nicest one. My husband and I used to frequent Stop & Shop but we stopped because the produce kind of sucked and anyhow the set-up of Big Y is a lot more appealing. I drove on over to the Ellington Big Y, hopeful that I’d be able to find the majority of the items I needed, but also aware that I’d probably end up at Whole Foods later that day. 

I’d been so focused on getting together my massive shopping list and hustling out to the store that I hadn’t attended to my basic personal needs with as much care as usual. I realized two things almost immediately as I crossed the parking lot: I kinda had to pee, and I was also sort of thirsty/hungry. Should I get a lemonade or something from the cafe? I wondered briefly then decided against it. I’d be fine til I got home, surely. 

Needless to say, I spent a lot of time in the produce section. I bagged up two heads of lettuce and an even bigger head of red kale. I bought the biggest container of baby spinach they had and then also the biggest bag of regular spinach. Cilantro and parsley. Scallions. And that was just from the greens section! I was already tired by the time I got to the natural foods section, and I had only shopped for stuff whose location I already knew. 

I spent some time figuring out which seeds/nuts I needed that Big Y sold by the weight. It’s a really convenient and cool system, except the stupid sticker-printing machine is sort of finicky. I must have spent a solid ten minutes before I had the correct amount of almonds, cashews, pumpkin seeds, etc. Okay. Now I needed to look for some stuff that I genuinely had no idea where exactly it might be. I knew they likely were somewhere in this natural foods section, I just didn’t know where. Stuff like hemp hearts and nutritional yeast (sounded gross but it was called for in quite a few recipes). I found them eventually. Cool. Now I needed canned tomatoes and beans, but Dr. Gregor really wanted me to be sure I bought cans without a BPA liner. Seriously? Was that really going to be the thing that would make or break if I lived to see 100? But I didn’t want to half-ass the Dr. Gregor lifestyle. It was only for two weeks, after all. After way too much time studying the shelves of tomatoes and beans, I ended up with two cans of diced tomato that cost twice as much as the brand I normally purchased... and the same exact generic brand of beans I normally went for, because none of the beans at Big Y seemed to be BPA free. Whatever. I was hungrier and grumpier by the minute. I wanted to stuff something into my mouth full of sugar and gluten and whatever other chemicals were out to kill me, stat. Almost done. Just had to find frozen okra (vegan gumbo, y’all! Stay tuned), and also miso. I wasn’t too worried about the miso. Big Y has a decent Asian foods aisle... one that I paced up and down at least four times before accepting that they didn’t seem to have miso. They also didn’t have date sugar, a key ingredient to a no-bake brownies recipe I wanted to try. I have a major sweet tooth (can you tell?) and the idea of two weeks without chocolate bars or ice cream was something I refused to entertain without some sort of chocolate dessert option. Okay. No miso, no date sugar. I also hadn’t been able to find “whole wheat tortillas - no salt added” anywhere in the store. So, I’d be going to Whole Foods. I had figured as much. 

I checked out with a whopper of a bill and tried not to die too much inside at the fact that this was only two and a half day’s worth of groceries. After all, I had needed to stock up on several crunchy hippie type pantry items I hadn’t already owned. Thank god I already had a pretty sizable spice collection or my bill would have been even higher. I tried not to think of how this wasn’t even everything on my list. Not only did I still need to go to Whole Foods, but I needed to go to the farm stand. 

Shout-out to Johnny Appleseed’s Farm in Ellington. Sam and I love them, and they love us back! Okay, they love Sam back because he told them once that he had gone onto Google and fixed an incorrect listing stating they were permanently closed. They really love Sam for that. They have no idea who I am unless I walk in with him. But that’s okay. Every late July through October, Sam and I buy as much of our produce as possible from Johnny Appleseed’s. I stopped over there to load up on tomatoes, onions, peppers, carrots, and an ungodly amount of zucchini. The woman ringing me out seemed amused. “Lots of squash,” she commented. “What’re you cooking?” I stared at her, trying to remember. The recipe planning I’d done only a couple hours ago already seemed such a blur. “Zoodles,” I managed finally. “You know, like when you try to pretend you’re eating pasta but it’s actually vegetables?” She chuckled and nodded. “You make your own sauce from scratch too?” “Usually,” I told her, feeling a sudden pang of longing for a nice meaty bolognese. Wow, I really wasn’t going to be cut out for this meatless life for long. I told her goodbye and got into my car. It was sweltering outside and 10x worse inside my black interior car. I now definitely needed to pee and I was starving. Home couldn’t come fast enough. 

Of course, before I could eat my lunch I had to go through the battle of trying to fit all of this produce into my refrigerator. Even with the clearing out of the usual cartons of eggs and older produce that I’d tossed earlier that morning, it was definitely a game of Tetris trying to fit all of the extremely perishable items I’d just purchased into my fridge. I didn’t even entertain the thought of trying to fit all the vegetables in the crisper. Just to fit them in the fridge itself was an accomplishment. Thank god I hadn’t been quite stupid enough to try to buy enough groceries to last us through Monday. Dear lord, I was really going to have to go back in two days and do this again? You chose this, you chose this I sang to myself repeatedly in my head as I grabbed the container of my last non-vegan meal for two weeks: zucchini turkey meatballs, romano cheese, and marinara sauce over spaghetti. It was damned good. This is still healthy, isn’t it? Do I definitely have to give up cheese, Dr. Gregor? 

Now came the time for my final real dessert of the next two weeks. Something I end up binging on far too often when Sam leaves me at home unsupervised for too long: Aurora honey nut granola with chocolate chips mixed in. It’s so good!!! And I definitely went especially overboard that day knowing it was my last sugar binge for awhile. 

Alright. It was time to head to Whole Foods. The closest one to me is in Glastonbury and a solid 25 minute drive away. The air felt heavy and oppressive as I headed out into the heat. Ominous dark clouds hung low in the sky. I could feel the nasty air pressure in the depths of my sinuses. Blah. Almost done, I told myself. The parking lot at Whole Foods was mobbed. Why are so many people out on a random Wednesday afternoon, I grumped to myself as I narrowly avoided running over a perfectly nice young family (sorry, strangers!!) and found myself a spot. I walked inside and immediately started rubbing my arms up and down. It was freezing. One thing I love about Big Y is that they keep a lot of their refrigerated items behind doors. I forget how cold other grocery stores are. 

I don’t go to Whole Foods very often. I knew where the ethnic condiments were but had no clue where I might find “whole wheat tortillas, no salt added.” I wandered the entire length of the store twice over and finally found a small selection. They really didn’t have much to offer in the way of wraps. Too many carbs for the Whole Foods shopping crowd, I guess? I settled for normal whole wheat tortillas that did indeed have salt as an ingredient. What do you want me to do, Dr. Gregor? I’m only one person. I at least then found the date sugar no problem. Okay. Cool. Only the miso left. 

I wandered into the Asian condiments aisle... and essentially repeated the same pacing act I’d done at Big Y, except I went back and forth even more times because I had a hard time processing that Whole Foods wouldn’t have what I needed. I mean, they’ve got some weird stuff there! They have like 5 different brands of ghee! Miso sounded like such a basic Asian condiment to me. We’ve all heard of miso soup, no? But it was nowhere to be found. Ugh. Fine. I’ll go to the Asian market in East Hartford. It’s not that far from here anyways, I tried to reassure myself. I could feel a sugar crash hitting my bloodstream. I wanted a juicebox and a nap. 

I checked out and made my way to Je Mart. I wandered up and down their aisles and couldn’t seem to find miso there either. It finally occurred to me that I was obviously missing something here. Like I really should have done at Big Y in the first place, I pulled out my phone and Googled “Where do I buy miso in the store?” Within 5 seconds I realized I’d been looking in the wrong spots of the stores the entire time. Miso isn’t a bottled or jarred condiment like Sriracha or curry paste. It’s actually sold in plastic tubs in the refrigerated section. Look near the tofu, the infinite wisdom of the Internet advised. I turned around and what do you know, literally right behind me was the refrigerated section with the tofu. And within five seconds I spotted it: a tub of miso!!! I grabbed at it ecstatically and scanned the label. Was this the white miso that Dr. Gregor had specifically demanded? It didn’t specify, but it looked pale enough for me. And it was only $5 for a pretty decent sized tub. I handed my money gleefully to the cashier and went on my way. Finally. 

I got home and put away my new purchases. It was about 2:20pm and I was beyond exhausted. I really shouldn’t have eaten that much granola, I thought morosely as I flopped onto the couch. I wanted to rewatch Forks Over Knives (it’s on Netflix!). If I started now it would end right around 4, a good time to start trying to actually prepare some of the meals I’d worked so hard all the day just to shop for. 

I’m not saying that I napped for the entire documentary because I definitely didn’t. I remember some parts of it. But can I guarantee I didn’t nap at all? No, no I cannot. 

This was another long post, so obviously I’m going to need to give us all a break and stop here before going on to Part 2, in which I’ll finally talk about cooking and eating these recipes. These first couple of posts have really just been a lot of exposition, I promise I’m going to get to the meat of the plot soon! (pun intended) 

For now, here’s a picture of the miso I drove all over the state searching for before finally acquiring for the very reasonable price of $5 (fyi - Big Y does have miso but it’s red miso and it’s $7 so I guess all’s well that ends well): 

[paisley-print]

CHAPTER TEN: The Bastard

Synopsis: Adella and Din grow closer while Ino has second thoughts about the whole plan. Adella may or may not be inspired by a certain sand snake that did not make it into the TV series. 

CHAPTER ONE: THE HUNTER / CHAPTER TWO: THE HUNTED / CHAPTER THREE: THE STARVED / CHAPTER FOUR: THE JAILBIRD / CHAPTER FIVE: THE POISONED / CHAPTER SIX: THE DESCENDANT / CHAPTER SEVEN: THE INFECTED / CHAPTER EIGHT: THE SICK / CHAPTER NINE: THE PRINCESS

“Was it the attack of Aq Vetina?”

Din nodded slowly. “.... You know a lot about the galaxy.”

“Is that a bad thing?” Adella asked.

Din shook his head “no. It’s just, on this planet-”

“-Nobody really cares?” The Mandalorian’s silence was confirmation enough. “It is a good thing, I guess. We keep to our little corner of the outer rim, only ever destroying our own people.” She bit her lip and looked on ahead, her body bobbing up and down with each lazy step of the Orbak. “I don’t know. Sometimes it frustrates me that nobody seems to care what goes on out there. I can’t tell you how many dark cycles I spent, laying out in the yard and looking up at the stars. I can map this sky by memory... the universe is just so big and I can’t help but feel as though I am missing out.”

“It is mostly empty space,” Din said dully. 

Adella chuckled “and would you ever give it up?”

Din flicked his eyes to where Ino was riding a little way ahead of them. They had not spoken at all in the last few hours; he wondered what she was thinking about and if she was warm enough. “No,” he breathed. 

“See?” the copper haired girl laughed. “My father wouldn’t either….. I guess that is proof that things must be pretty great up there.”

“He wasn’t born here?” 

“No. Apparently - ok, so I know this sounds impossible, but I am only repeating what was told to me. Apparently my father was a Jedi. He was supposed to come back so he could teach me how to be a warrior like him... but, well, you can see that he never did.” 

Din pulled on the reins of his mount to avoid a small boulder in the path. “Did you ever find out why?”

She shrugged “no, maybe he forgot….or maybe he was just some con man who wanted a quick fuck. Some men will say anything to get laid.”

Din smirked, but did not address her last statement. “What about your mother? Did you ask her?”

“You know, I never thought about that- I’ll send an owl for her as soon as we get to camp.”

“....you’re being sarcastic.” 

She laughed and let her inky black eyes explore the length of his body for a moment. “Brains and beauty, that is a dangerous combo Mandalorian…. but no- I never got the chance to ask her. She died when I was ten, but she had been sick for a long time before that.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” he said. 

Adella turned her head to gaze out over the edge of the cliff face. From this height, not much was visible through the thick of grey clouds. “Do you ever wonder what life would be like if they lived?”

“Sometimes,” he confessed, “mostly I just hope I have been able to make them proud.”

“That’s a good way to think of it …..and hey, when you get back up there, maybe ask around for me? Who knows, maybe someone will remember an Athena Paramount.” 

Din tilted his helmet a little “I thought you said your name was Hart?”

“It’s a bastard’s name. Out of seven sisters I am the youngest and the only Hart.” Adella raked a hand through her hair, they were getting to the point in the mountains where they could see a light dusting of snow. “All of them are married now anyway, scattered throughout Atlas and holding titles like duchess, lady, dame, countesses... or something to that effect. I think they got scared when mother fell ill since their father had already passed….. I have lost touch with most.”

“And you didn’t want that?” Din asked.

Adella glanced at him, “to lose touch with them?” 

“To marry” Din clarified. 

“Oh maker no” she said without hesitation. “I could never willingly bind myself to any one person. There is so much life to be had and things to see. So many beds to warm and people to love…...no, never just one.”

“If you would like, once I deliver the princess to the capital - maybe you could come with me. I can teach you to fight and…., I actually know of a few Jedi, maybe they will know something about your father.”

Adella flashed him a grin “was it the bed comment that swayed you?”

His face flushed beneath the helmet. “N-no I- I can see now how that must have come off-”

She laughed “-relax Mando, I’m only joking. And I would love to.”

He glanced up at Ino again. Her gold curls were bouncing up and down like little metal springs. He could see by the way her shoulders sagged forward that she was exhausted.

Adella moved her animal closer to him, “so tell me about these Jedi you know.”

Din’s voice trailed off as he launched into the tale of the little green bean who sent him on an odyssey throughout the galaxy. Ino listened from her orbak, she was feeling very unwell. Each step of the animal felt like someone was driving spikes into her back with a hammer. She just wished to get off this damn thing so she could go to sleep. A shiver ran down the back of her neck. She shut her eyes and pulled her cloak tighter around herself. 

-

“Are you okay?” Din asked. He held the reins of Ino’s mount to steady it. The princess sat perched atop, still trying to find the strength to get down.

“Yes” she responded. It was clear from her appearance that she was lying.

Din glanced in front of her to where Rowan and Adella were setting up the tents. “Here,” he placed his hands on her waist while she moved hers to his shoulders. He lifted her off the animal and kept her steady once her feet touched the icy ground. 

She murmured words of gratitude but did not lift her head to look up at him. When she turned to unclasp the hooks securing the sleeping bag to the mount Din held up a hand to stop her. “I can do this, go sit by the fire” his voice was not gentle like it normally was.

“I want to help,” she responded. 

“You can help by not dying. Now go Leucothea.”

“Ino” she corrected, sounding a bit hurt. 

Din was not in the mood for this back and forth “go.”

Ino did not respond, she just turned and reached for the straps again.

He lowered his voice, “I am too tired for this. Please, just go lay down.”

Ino stomped her foot on the ground “I am capable.”

“You’re acting like a child.” 

In the back of her mind she knew he was right, however she allowed her stubbornness to take hold of her. “Let me then.” Alarm bells were going off in her mind. What was going on? Why was he acting like this suddenly? “What I do shouldn’t be of any concern to you Din Djarin-”

He placed a hand on her shoulder and turned her to face him. The orbak huffed, Din removed his hands immediately and leaned in close. His voice was a deadly calm, “I did not give you permission to call me that-”

The guilt cut through her immediately; it was a cheap blow. “I-”

“-And what you do is my concern -”

Why were they fighting right now? “I’m sorry I promise I won’t do that again. I just don’t know if I want this anymore. The crown, the- everything I don’t ... The more I think about going back there, the more unhappy I become.”

Mando gave away absolutely nothing. Ino wished she could see what was happening behind that stone cold exterior. “You have to.” 

“But what if I don’t? What if I just left with you-” She shook her head and reached for his hand, but he recoiled.

Din knew that he had messed up. Thea was right, he should have never gotten her hopes up. It was cruel of him. He knew full well how their stories were going to end, and yet he still pursued her. “You have thousands of people counting on you.”

“The same people who stood by and watched for years- while Balthar subjected me to that torture? Everybody knew, nobody cared.”

This all felt so wrong. He couldn’t let these people suffer because he was selfish and desperate for connection. “They would have been killed and you know that. You said it yourself, he will not rest until he gets you….. and think about your sister.”

Her face changed, he had hit the weak spot in her armor. “My sister is dead” she said slowly “a petty revenge quest does not change that fact.”

“Princess-”

She was begging at this point “my name is Ino dammit!” 

“If you give up, then I will have no choice but to keep with the original plan.”

Her breath hitched in her throat, “you wouldn’t dare.”

His voice was unapologetic. “It has nothing to do with you. There is something I need that the capital holds-”

Ino looked at him as if he had gone mad. “What could you possibly need that would justify-”

“A ship.”

She was stunned silent. All of this….. for a ship? Him condemning her to a life of suffering for a hunk of metal. Nothing made sense to her anymore. A few hours ago she had thought they were fine, and now he was acting the same way he did the first few days of the trip. Why was this happening? What had she done?

He continued, “I made a promise to the people of my creed and I will not break it. That ship that Balthar has is the key to successfully liberating Mandalore from the empire. You may be fine with abandoning your people….. but I am not. This goes much deeper than you, then any of us.”

“.... and helping me is only to have a clear conscience. Because if you surrender me to Balthar then that would make you no better than the empire.”

“Yes”

She felt as though he had stabbed her in the chest. It was all a game. Every single moment of genuine connection was nothing but a perverted political tactic. How could she have been so naïve to believe that he actually cared for her? She knew things were moving too fast, but she just couldn’t help herself. She wanted to be loved so badly that she let this desire cloud her judgement. He should have let her die. It would have been more bearable than this. 

Tears stung her eyes. She swallowed hard,  determined not to let him see her cry. Her voice was as sharp as a blade. “Fine. We will reach the capital, kill the king, then you will take your ship and go…. but if you so much as enter the atmosphere of this planet after that day, then I will have you shot down on sight. Now step aside so I can get my sleeping bag and retire to my tent you doshin tin can.”

The Mandalorian allowed her to pull the roll of fabric down. He was completely still, save for the rise and fall of his chest while he watched her go.

Ino held her head high while she walked to her tent. Ignoring the stabbing pains and the feeling of lightheadedness that threatened to overtake her. As soon as she was safely inside of the tent, she put a hand over her mouth and cried. When she realized it wasn’t enough, she grabbed at the fabric of her cloak and bit down on it hard. Stumbling through the darkness of the tent, she found the little cot on the floor and pulled herself onto it. Once in a sitting position, she clutched the sleeping bag to her chest while she rocked back and forth, trying to soothe the ache pulling at her body. 

[jos-corner-of-the-world]

Unexpected (8)

Part 7

Yoongi had sent you a quick “we’ll be there” text before you had even reached home.

You smiled to yourself as you put your phone down as the light turned green.

Tonight was nice, just talking to Yoongi, but you weren’t sure what happened towards the end.  He seemed as thought he was holding the weight of the world on his shoulders, but also looked like he could murder someone.  Neither were things you liked seeing etched on his face.

By the time you got home and settled in, Clara was walking in with Lily, fast asleep in her arms.

“I see someone can’t take being a princess for too long” you said, laughing at your daughters zonked out form in Clara’s arms.

“Royalty is hard work.” Clara said, playing along.

You followed Clara to Lily’s room and tucked your sleeping daughter into bed.

Clara followed you out into the living room and sat with you for a bit.

“How ya holding up sweetheart?” she asked, noticing the worn look on your face.

“I’m tired.” you admitted.

“I think it’s more than that.  You’re worried aren’t you?” she asked kindly.

“I am.  What if it fails, and I have to close down my studio?” you asked her.

“This isn’t what you want to hear, but that’s a possibility.  But honey, you need to remember, you’re so talented and you’re so young. You have your whole life ahead of you.  If this fails, then you find something else that you love doing just as much as you love your studio.”

You knew Clara was right, but it didn’t make you feel any better.  Your studio was one of the things you had left here in Chicago, and you weren’t sure what to do after that.  You kept your options kind of limited because you didn’t want to take any more time away from Lily than was absolutely necessary.

“So...I hear you guys have had some visitors?” Clara asked, effectively changing the subject.

“Lily finally told you huh?” you asked, laughing that it took her this long to spill the beans.

“Told me? The girl accidently let it slip this morning, and then once the dam broke, she didn’t shut up about it for the rest of the day. She’s very excited about this.” Clara said.

“She’s not the only one.” you admitted.

“You too huh?” she asked knowingly.

“Well yeah, but them too.  You should see the interactions they all have together.  It’s actually really sweet.” you admitted.

“Oh...have you taken a fancy to one of those sweet boys?” Clara asked.

You found yourself laughing a little.

“Taken a fancy to?” you repeated.

“Oh I’m sorry, is that old fashioned?  Is there a boy you think is cute? Is that better?” she asked, tone light.

“Um..” you started, but didn’t finish.

Your mind immediately went back to earlier tonight with Yoongi.

“I see.  Well, when you know, you know.” Clara said, not needing you to say more.

“But I don’t know, that’s the thing.” you admitted.

“It’s all so weird and surreal. They won’t be here much longer, a couple months at max.  They live in a whole different country.  I feel so bad that Lily has gotten attached and they will be leaving.” you admitted.

“Oh honey, I’m going to tell you something right now, okay?” Clara asked, and waited for you to nod your head before she continued.

“Bonds like that take a lot more than a few thousand miles to diminish.  There are wonderful things these days that let you talk to people all the way on the other side of the world.  And there’s planes that can take you to and from.” she said.

“I know that Clara!” you laughed loudly with her.

“Don’t worry about it then sweetie.  Just, let it play out as it should.  Don’t force yourself to hold back on account of what could or could not happen.”

You smiled at Clara’s words, because they were right.

“So...can I see a picture?” Clara asked dramatically.

You smiled as you took out your phone, opening saved images you’d had from throughout the last couple of weeks.

“Well it’s easy to see which one you have taken a liking to.” Clara said, noting Yoongi was in almost all of the pictures.

“Well, you’re not wrong.  But it wasn’t intentional, he’s kind of just...always there.” you said.

Clara smiled at you knowingly, but didn’t say anything else on the topic.

The next morning, you had been woken up bright and early by Lily.

“Five more minutes” you begged your hyperactive almost five year old.

“No. Get up momma.”

“Lily, five more minutes please.” you begged her again.

“No, I don’t fink so. Get up now” Lily said, climbing up on your bed.

“It’s time for mommas to get uuuuup” Lily sang, jumping on your bed.

“Lillian Harper, no jumping on the bed.” you said, but your voice held no authority.

“I’m sorry momma, but you gots to get up” she said, throwing her little body on top of yours.

“Would you lay down with momma for a few minutes if I told you a secret?” you asked her.

“Oh, I like secrets.” she said, coming to lay next to you snuggling into your side.

“The guys are coming over for lunch today.” you said lowly in her ear.

“What?! Really?! But momma then you have to get up.” she emphasised.

“Why? I told you a secret, you’re supposed to lay with me. Thems the rules Lily!” you whined at her.

“But momma, our house is so dirty! We have to clean if before they come over? Do you want them to think we live in a barn?!” she asked, using the same words on you that you had used on her countless times.

“It’s not that bad.” you said, burrowing into your covers more.

Lily snickered from beside you.

“Mkay momma, let’s let the boys see all your undies you have hanging up in the bathroom then.”

That woke you right up.

“Alright Lily! You tackle the living room and momma will do the rest!” you said getting up out of bed, Lily’s laugh trailing behind you.

After you’d given the directions to your apartment, Yoongi told you that the guys were on their way.

“I hope the guys like lunch Momma, we worked hard.” Lily said, coming to stand by the door.

“Lily, it’s tacos.  If they don’t like tacos, I don’t think we should be friends with them anymore.  Momma doesn’t trust anyone who doesn’t like tacos.”

“That’s true.  That’s like not liking baby kittens, it’s horrible” Lily agreed.

Lily sat dutifully at the front door, waiting for the guys to come as you laid out the rest of the food on the counter.  You had a little bit of everything anyone could want to put on a taco or nachos.  You may have gone overboard, but what doesn’t get eaten means more for you and Lily later on.

A few minutes, and ten sighs from Lily later, there was a knock at the door.

“It's them Momma, it's them!” she said excitedly, running for the door.

“Okay, but Lily even if that's so, you can't just open the door without checking first.” you reminded her.  She huffed a little, but stepped back.

You came over and held Lily up so she could look through the peephole.

“It's them momma, and Suga is wearing a headband he looks so cool.” Lily sais loudly.

You could hear laughter from the other side of your door. You unlocked the deadbolt and let Lily open the door herself.

“Welcome to my home” Lily said as she threw the door open.

“It smells great in here” Jin said as soon as he entered.

“We made tacos. If you don't like them momma says we can't be friends. So even if you don't like them pretend you do okay?” Lily stage whispered to them. They all gave you withering looks, but agreed with Lily.

“This is a nice place you have” Namjoon said

“I mean it's not much but it's perfect for the little miss and I”  You said, patting Lily on the head.

“So tell us more about your showcase” Jimin said during lunch. All of you were spread between the living room and the kitchen table that was adjacent to the living room.

“What do you want to know?” you asked him

“Anything” Jimin laughed.  “We don't know much.”

“Well, it's being held in five days at one of the small event centers on this side of town. There will be a total of five dances. There was six, but there wouldn't be enough time so I cut out my solo.”

“That's a shame” Yoongi said, speaking for the first time today.

“I mean, not really. If I have to cut one that is the one that makes the most sense. I want to be able to have all the students showcase their ability. I'm already doing the duo one so it made sense. And I'll participate in all of them but the kids one.” you said.

“What are the dances?” Taehyung asked.

“There's the Paper Hearts contemporary dance, a hip hop dance, the duo, a dance for the young kids and then the whole studio will finish up together.” you said.

“Are you nervous?” Namjoon asked

“Terrified.”

“Of dancing in front of people?” This time it was Hoseok that asked the quesiton.

“Oh, no. I'm used to that. I've been dancing my whole life. I'm nervous for the outcome is all.” you admitted.

“Well I for one am really excited.” Jungkook said.

“Oh, we officially got the okay from PD Bang.  It took a little convincing that you weren’t using us, but once we explained how genuine you were, and how you absolutely hated the idea of broadcasting Jungkook’s involvement, he agreed easily.  So, that’s a non issue now.” Namjoon said.

“Will if it doesn't work out there's two options I know of” Jin said before you could respond to Namjoon.

“What's that?” you asked, amused.

“You could be a chef.”

You laughed loudly.

“Jin I literally cooked meat and seasoned it.” you said, laughing at the idea of you being a chef.

“Which is literally what cooking is” Hoseok laughed.

“Okay okay...what's the other option?” you asked Jin.

“Competitive eating.”

“I told you my momma was a pig.” Lily said loudly.

“Alright that's it! You two go to time out!” You pointed to Lily and Jin who were laughing together at the table.

“But I'm older than you!” Jin argued.

“Don't argue with momma” Lily said taking Jin by the hand.

“Trust me, you won't win. And you don't wanna see my momma angry. She turns into the Hulk.”

“Lillian!”

“Sorry! We're going we're going!” Lily said, pulling Jin from his chair

“No Jin. Food isn't allowed in time out, leave your plate at the table” you heard Lily instruct.

You watched as Lily went and sat in her time out chair, Jin sitting on the floor next to her pouting.

“I can't believe that actually worked” you laughed at the sight.

Part 9

[elvendara]

I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT TO THAT KILL THE PRIME MINISTER

OKAY! Here is the next section, this, was also 3k words! And I’m still not done, but don’t worry, another ask is in the wings ready and waiting for the THIRD section!

Enjoy!

Werewolf AU

“What are we going to do now Saeyoung?” Yoosung asked.

“We make a plan.”

“A plan for what?” Saeran narrowed his eyes.

Saeyoung looked up at him, “A plan to kill our father.”

…………………………………………………………….

“I won’t do it!” MC turned away from Saeyoung.

He pulled her back around, “MC, it won’t work without you.”

“Good.”

Saeyoung was exasperated, “Why are you so opposed to this?”

“Why am I so opposed to killing a man? Hmm, let me think.” She saidsarcastically, looking pointedly at Saeyoung, hands on hips.

“He wants to capture us and use us as lab rats!”

“And he is your FATHER!” she shot back.

“He has never been our father. He has never wanted us. He has neverloved us. He has always wanted us to disappear. I’m tired of running away fromhim. He started this MC. I just want to finish it.”

“But you won’t finish it. The government already knows. Even if yousucceeded in killing him, that wouldn’t stop them from coming after us still.”

“It might slow them down at least.” He backed away from the argument,knowing that she had a point.

“We are a potential weapon for them, do you really think they willever stop trying to capture and use us? When has any government shown any senselike that?” she was no longer shouting. She was just exhausted with theirplanning and their scheming.

“Fine, if you won’t do it we’ll just have to come up with somethingelse, and fast. The party is less than a week away.” he turned away from herand walked back to where the others gathered around the small kitchen table.

“What do you think Vanderwood? What other options do we have to getinto the secured room?”

Vanderwood shook his head but before he could speak.

“I’ll do it.” MC stood right behind Saeyoung, he could feel the heatof her body pressing in on him. He turned and stared into her resigned eyes,hating himself for forcing her into this, but not enough to stop her helping.

“You don’t have to.” He said anyway, “You’ve made yourself clearabout how you feel.”

“Yes, and you’ve made yourself clearthat you will attempt it anyway, at least, with my help, you might succeed.”Saeyoung put his arm around her and pulled her close, turning back to theblueprints on the table.

“Ok, then, we’re all on the same page. Let’s go over this again.”

The plan was simple, if it worked. The Prime Minister was attending afundraiser at a prominent businessman’s mansion. Both Jumin and Zen hadinvitations. Jumin was taking Jaehee as his guest and Zen was going to take MC.Worried that the Prime Minister himself or his security would recognize MC, Zenwas bringing in a makeup artist to work some magic on her face to make her looksignificantly different. Once inside, she would excuse herself and head to oneof the many closets to undress and become a cat. She would then make her way tothe secure section of the wing where she would set off the alarms on purpose.This would create a lockdown of the mansion and, per Jumin’s contacts, thiswould facilitate a specific course of action to secure the Prime Minister. Hewould be taken to a secure room and guarded inside and out. They had identifiedthat room and would insure that one of them would be there. They had argued asto who it would be.

“I still say it should be me.” Vanderwood interjected.

“You are still recovering. It would be easier for me, I can…”Saeyoung began.

“No, I should be the one.” Saeran looked them all in the eyes,resolute and determined.

“Neither of you has killed anyone, don’t think that it will be soeasy just because you are so eager to eliminate your father.” Vanderwoodstated.

Saeyoung hung his head. In all his years as an agent, and all thedirty things he had done, he had never had to kill anyone. He knew whatVanderwood said was true, eye to eye with his father, would he be able to doit?

“I know what it’s like.” Saeran stated.

“Saeran…” Yoosung clung to his arm, his heart racing at the thoughtof his mate killing someone on purpose.

Saeran glanced sideways at the blonde and placed his hand overYoosung’s, but he continued, “It has to be me, you know that. I want these eyesto be the last thing he sees.” His unnatural green eyes flashed with anger.Yoosung closed his eyes and squeezed tighter on Saeran’s arm but kept silent.

Vanderwood and Saeyoung exchanged glances and nodded.

“Alright, we already have our catering outfits, it will be easy toblend in. We’ll have to use wigs, our hair is too easy to spot. I’ll ask Zen ifhe can find some colored contacts as well, we should make it as difficult aspossible to be spotted. Babe,” he turned to MC, “Zen already has a blonde wigfor you too.” He smiled at her and grabbed a piece of her hair dragging itthrough his fingers. “Maybe he’ll let you keep it, we haven’t done blondebefore.” He smirked.

Saeran rolled his eyes, “Let’s stay on track here Saeyoung.”

“Oh, right. We’ll talk about that later.” He gave MC a peck on thelips and turned back towards the table.

“Alright then, once we see Zen and MC walk in, you make your way tothe safe room and hide. I will keep an eye on the Prime Minister. Jumin willhave his own security waiting in case we need it, but I’ve already told him notto expose himself unless he absolutely must. There is a chance this will gosideways and I don’t want the rest of the RFA involved. Are we agreed?”

They all nodded, this was their problem, they could not endangerJumin, Zen, or Jaehee in any way.

“Yoosung, make sure to keep the van running, if you see anything unusualhappening on the outside, let me know immediately, even if it seems inconsequential.It could be important.”

“Of course.” Yoosung nodded.

“I’m going to at least be in that van. I can keep an eye on thesecurity system and hack into their cameras to check the perimeter as well.”Vanderwood said. Saeyoung clapped him on the back in support.

“If all goes according to plan, no one will know what happened untilit is too late.” He looked pointedly at Saeran. “Are you sure you can do this?”

“Positive.”

 MC’s hands were sweating, she couldn’t keep them dry.

“Here.” Zen grabbed her left hand and held it in his own. He looked almostas terrified as she was but he was holding it together. He would go full onactor mode as soon as they stepped out of the car, but for now, his heart waspounding.

“Everything will be ok.” He told her.

“I don’t believe you.” She whispered.

“Try, otherwise, we’ll fail for sure.”

She was grateful for his encouragement and hope, she squeezed hishand and tried to steady herself. She had not recognized herself in the mirrorwhen the makeup artist had been done with her. Her hair was blonde, plaited inan intricate braid then wrapped around her head elegantly to expose her neckand the fabulous and expensive earrings Jumin had given her to wear. They matchedthe necklace hanging around her neck as well. The amethyst jewels sparkledagainst her olive skin. She had tried to decline but he said that this was afundraiser and they had to look as if they had money. She had to admit, theywere beautiful. Her eyes popped out and looked bigger than they really were,her lashes lengthened to an unnatural state. Her lips looked fuller and hercheekbones higher. She could not believe the illusion was all thanks toperfectly applied makeup.

Her dress had also come from Jumin. It was a subtle navy blue with a plungingneckline. It had to be sexy but not too noticeable as too much attention wouldnot be good for their plan.

The car came to a stop and an attendant opened the door for her,holding out his hand to help her out of the backseat. She let go of Zen andstepped out, Zen right behind her. He put his arm around her waist, his hand atthe small of her back and led her inside. He pulled out his invitation andshowed it to a woman holding a clip board. She nodded and let them through. MCbreathed a sigh of relief. First hurdle done. She scanned the room and spottedSaeyoung, she couldn’t contain a chuckle. He had chosen to dress as a womanwith a long brown wig, he was wearing the contacts Zen had given him, but theywere not prescription so he was having some difficulty seeing. She could tellthat he was squinting a lot and bumping into people. So much for not callingattention to himself.

“Idiot.” Zen shook his head. He pointed with his chin in the otherdirection and she saw Saeran in a short black wig gracefully navigating theguests with a tray of champagne flutes. She stared at him until he met her eyesand nodded. He then made his way to Saeyoung to let him know. Zen led MC downthe steps onto the main floor, Saeyoung was at her shoulder in seconds.

“Champagne beautiful lady?” he asked. She shook her head but Zengrabbed one and downed the whole thing, replacing the flute and grabbinganother one.

Saeyoung grazed her elbow with his hand and whispered, “You look stunningbabe, keep the jewelry too.” Then he was gone.

“Idiot.” Zen reiterated. She couldn’t help but agree, but she lovedher idiot.

She watched as Saeran made his way out of the room. No one seemed tohave noticed. She gave him ten minutes to make sure he was where he wassupposed to be then, giving one last look at Zen, she headed nonchalantly intothe hallway, making sure no one was around and slipping into the hall closet. Shequickly undressed, taking her shoes off. She transformed into her tabby selfthen nosed open the door she had left ajar. Hopefully no one would close it.Zen should be there when she needed him though.

She made her way to the secure wing of the mansion, running into afew people, but no one payed any mind to a cat roaming a house. They just assumedshe belonged there. There were guards at the entrance but she just slipped bythem. They looked at each other confused.

“Does Mr. Bean have a cat?” one asked. The other shrugged.

MC hurried to the area with the valuables on display. There werepaintings, artifacts, jewels, anything and everything that could be valued wasin this section. There was even a Faberge egg. She spotted something that wasperfect. It was a stunning tiara that glittered with all the diamonds on it. inits center was a rare pink diamond that outshone the rest. She jumped on it andlay down on the cushion it rested on. the alarms immediately began to ring anda gate fell from the ceiling and enclosed the room. She lay her head down andwaited. She could easily slip through the bars, but she hoped to give Saeranenough time to do what he needed to do.

Saeran crouched behind the curtains in the secure room, there were actuallyno windows here, he wondered how he would escape, but didn’t worry about itnow. He was sweating, and nervous. He hoped the others would at least get away,even if he didn’t. Suddenly the alarms went off and he stood, ready. Within minutesthere was a rush through the door and he peeked through the curtains. There hestood. His father. The Prime Minister. The man who was trying to ruin theirlives. He thought about Yoosung, sweet, kind, giving, smart Yoosung who hadasked for none of this. Saeyoung would take care of him if things went wrong. Hethought of Saeyoung, strong and capable but so fragile, because of this man, hethought of MC, loving and patient, wanting only to have a family and be happy.All of these things were being ripped away because of this man! Saeran began toget angry. He had already taken his contacts off and his mint green eyes shonebright. He shifted and began to transform, letting the rage infuse his blood,letting the anger drive his instincts, letting it drive his hatred. He steppedout of the curtains that could no longer contain him and up to his father.

The man, feeling the new presence turned and looked into the mintygreen eyes of his death, and smiled.

Saeran growled and pounced towards the man, only to be sucker punchedby something on his side. He fell over and whined, whatever it was, it hadtaken most of his strength away. the Prime Minister knelt by his head andscanned his body.

“You must be Saeran. You’re quite a lot bigger than I thought youwould be. Excellent! Now, tell me, where is your brother?” Saeran reverted tohis human form against his will. He felt feverish and sick, his body weakand sweaty. He felt at his side and came away with blood.

The Prime Minister glanced at it and back at Saeran, “It’s aconcoction of mine. Unfortunately, the werewolf we derived it from didn’tsurvive. The only reason you are still awake is because the dose was for a wolfthree quarters your size. But, it was enough to incapacitate you. Did youreally think that I would not know you would be coming for me? Why else to doyou think I’m here? I know who your friends are. Don’t worry, if you cooperatelike a good doggie, I will let them live.” He laughed and stood, walking away. “Gethim out of here.”

MC ran through the bars and barely escaped being caught. Something waswrong. These were not regular guards, they were wary of her, too wary for justa regular cat. They knew, they knew who she was! They must be the PrimeMinister’s men. She ran faster than she had ever run before, she was thankfulfor the many hunting trips she had taken with the twins because it made her fasterand more agile than she already was. It had also taught her to not think, butact purely on instinct. She made it back to the hallway and Zen stood at thedoor. He opened it as soon as he saw her come tearing around the corner. He motionedfor her to go faster. As soon as she zoomed in he closed it behind her andknelt in front of it, pretending to tie his shoe. The guards came flying aroundthe corner as well and stopped when they did not see her anywhere.

“Hey, did you see a cat come through here?” One of the men asked Zen.

“That menace? It nearly jumped on me! It kept going down the hall!”Zen pointed in the direction opposite the gathering. He stayed kneeling, incase anyone else came around, then he heard a soft knocking on the door. He glancedaround him to make sure it was clear then opened the door. MC stepped out,still looking as glorious as ever but her eyes were terrified.

“They know I’m here, and if they know I’m here…” she let it sink in.

“They know about the twins.” Zen finished. She nodded and they headed back tothe party to hopefully snatch up Saeyoung and get out. Hoping that Saeran couldextricate himself as well, but MC had a sinking feeling in her belly.

The people were in a huddle in the center of the room, including thestaff. They saw Saeyoung and began to head towards him. That was when a groupof security ran in and separated Saeyoung from the rest, he began to fight backbut one of them shot him with something that had so much force it took himdown. There was blood that began to spread across his white shirt, his wig was thrownoff and he lay there, blinking, trying to catch his breath again.

MC gasped, like many others in the room, and tried to run to him. Zencaught her around the waist and pulled her back.

“NO.” he hissed. “MC, stop.”

“Saeyoung!” she cried.

“Shh,” he held her tight, pinning her against him, she struggled buthe did not let go. “You can’t help him now. All you will do is expose yourself.”She stopped struggling but she couldn’t stop the tears from falling as shewatched her husband struggle and be in pain. He locked eyes with her and withZen. He motioned imperceptibly at Zen to get her out. Zen nodded. The room wasin pandemonium, people running around in all directions.

Jumin found them and whispered into Zen’s ear. “Out the back, takeher. Vanderwood has dropped the alarms from the kitchen doors, but you onlyhave seconds! Go!” he had to push MC while Zen pulled her, she wasinconsolable.

He did what Jumin asked and escaped the house with MC, running to thevan.

“Go, go, go…” he yelled as they jumped into the back.

“What about Saeran and Saeyoung?” Yoosung was beside himself, eyeswide and terrified.

“Go Yoosung!” Vanderwood pushed his shoulder to turn him around. “Thereis nothing we can do for them now!”

Yoosung put the van into gear and drove away as fast as he could,tears obscuring his view, his heart breaking, his chest felt crushed and hecould barely breath. Somehow, he made it to the rendezvous point and he finallybroke down. He jumped into the back and threw himself at MC and they clung toeach other, both immersed in pain and grief. Vanderwood and Zen exchangingglances, feeling impotent. They could do nothing now, but wait.

Werewolf AU

[lethe-distillery-blog]

The Most Dangerous Game

"Oh yes," her voice was the faintest of moans in my ear, "just like that."

I honestly didn't know how I got here. Sure, I could tell you all the points that started my evening off and how they eventually lead here. But as for how it all happened, I had no idea. I had come to the bar to forget. Not really that it ever worked but persistence has to count for something, right? It all started after a long, long day.

"Hey Rob," I called out to Robert Pakam, owner and proprietor of Hunter's Den, the small bar that I frequented more than I liked or should. Still, it was a nice atmosphere. Rob was a fair man, beer was cold, food was good, and it was a pleasantly crowded place. Nothing crazy loud, even on weekends when Richard Jackson, I had gone to school with him, what? Christ, must be pushing fifteen years now, and his motley band played on the small stage. It wasn't my favorite of listening, blues or country tones, but still it was enough to give Rob some extra money and kept the old coin-operated jukebox in the corner from dying, not from a lack of effort on its end though. Rob was always bitching about it not working but I had yet to make the mistake of suggesting an upgraded sound system, I had seen the results of that particular line of stupidity.

I went over to my usual haunt. A back corner that I could watch the entire building, bathrooms were on the far wall, bar on my left and main entrance on my right. T.V. was a bit too close for comfort, but, there wasn't much I could do about it and the small hit to my hearing was worth the hold I could maintain on my sanity. I sat heavily, tired, I hadn't even bothered to change. All well. Fuck what everyone else thought, Only thing that may make anyone twitchy was the bulletproof vest, and that wasn't coming off. Likely not for a month. I shivered in memory but forced a smile for Rochelle, Rob's daughter, she helped her Mom and Dad run the small place. I didn't think it was struggling, it was full most of the time and most people talked about the brew that Rob used from local places. I was sure it was a good bet that if Rob decided he liked your beer suddenly the locals would like it too.

"Galactic Space Dragon IPA," Rochelle's baby blues twinkled at me and I raised one in return as she set the tall frosted glass in front of me on a small napkin already saturated with condensation. The liquid inside was a light hue of gold. Dandelions on a hot afternoon. Yeah, that color. It looked filled with carbonation and the head was a brilliant white foam. I had always tried the newest thing on the menu. Why the hell stick to the same thing if you aren't sure you're going to die tomorrow?

I took a long sip, savoring the fluid on my tongue, rolling it around before swallowing. "Very carbonated." I murmured, it felt like a soft drink going down more than beer. I took another sip, "it tastes nearly like grapefruit on the first taste before it mellows out." She was nodding, she enjoyed sampling the local things with me, though only recently had she started asking what I thought of them. Beer had been beer, cold, refreshing, good on a hot day. But, as I forced myself to focus on it more, each did, in fact, have its own variety and I could start to pinpoint what I didn't like in certain ones instead of simply discarding the whole company. "It's smooth though."

"Yeah, and it almost has a chocolaty taste to it." she paused for a moment, "mind if I catch a lift after work?" I was usually around until closing anyway, "don't exactly want to bug mom and dad, it's supposed to be their anniversary tonight." I nodded at her before I took another sip, focusing. It had a rich taste, a little sweet. I wasn't quite sure if it was chocolate-like but it was a complex variety of flavors, not quite unlike chocolate, though I was leaning more towards coffee. Someone called and Rochelle rolled her eyes and I tracked the man as she placed on that fake smile of customer service. He was a regular, farm hand, Warren if my memory was good. Which it was, but Warren had never been one to stand out in any way other than being a stuck up jerk so I had promptly put him out of my thoughts. Becca waved as she noticed me on her way out of the kitchen. I lifted a hand in response, not quite a wave but I didn't do well with the idea of drawing attention to myself.

I had just comfortably finished my beer and was people watching, the sleepy townsfolk a comfortable distraction I allowed myself. I recognized a few familiar faces. Joe, Tom, and Brady. Three old men that came every dinner; bangers and mash with mushy peas, with a pint to wash it all down. Monday through Saturday. They were so predictable I was sure I could set a nuclear clock to their consistency. Arrived at six thirty exactly and left an hour and a half later on the dot, and got incredibly grumpy if they were held up for any reason. They had caused so much of a fuss that Rochelle actually stepped in to run the till for the three of them if Rob or Becca were busy.

"There you are," I smiled at Becca as she came over with a massive plate. I already knew the contents though she spread it before me with a grand flourish. "We were getting worried when we hadn't seen you around. Worried you had finally met a bear that was bigger and meaner than you."

I grinned at the comment, though I was exhausted and the smile took a lot out of me. "Impossible," I picked up my silverware, "we all know how grumpy I am, I send them whimpering back to their mothers." Becca laughed, and thankfully, left. I wasn't feeling sociable. It was too tiring to pretend all the time that I was normal, that I was just one of the guys. That I was a big game hunter that traveled all over the globe for the next big thrill. Rochelle had been all sorts of bothered until I showed her picture of me on my last holiday a few years back with an elephant, a small dart sticking out of its body. I did enjoy a good hunt, and the more vicious the animal the more cunning, the better.

That's why I didn't hunt strictly the four-legged variety.

I took a large bite of the roast beef almost moaning at it. Fuck, Becca made an incredible plate of food. It took everything in me to not devour the entire spread, instead, I ate like a civilized, if not educated, man. Roast beef, yorkshire pudding, gravy, green beans and a few of Becca's to die for cookies. She had swatted me the once I had accidentally said that colonial blasphemy inside her domain, within these four walls they had erected a wonderful, and proper, English Pub, complete with flags and a picture of Queen Elizabeth the Second. It was, different, that was for sure, especially for being in the middle of nowhere, but I had found I enjoyed the small haven. They were good people, and that was rare to find.

Rochelle supplied me a glass of water, I knew better than to drink to excess, even now, the beer was affecting me more than I wanted it to. Blasted schedule and not eating regularly. Hell, I didn't even remember the last time I ate. Thirty hours ago? I took a long draught of water, draining half the glass in a long swallow, doing my best to dilute the alcohol. I knew better than to even lose a single facet of control. I wanted to drink, I wanted to promise oblivion, and I knew myself well enough that if I got lost just enough to convince myself to buy a second, there was no stopping me after that. I did not need a repeat experience.

I looked up at the bell at the door and looked at my watch, 7:37 flicked back at me. I looked up and frowned at the unfamiliar figure entering, a tiny, vivacious blonde that I immediately pegged for someone passing through. She had a quick and easy smile her eyes flashing, though they did wander about the room with the slow deliberation of one that knows more than that quick smile intended to put forward. Rob greeted her and spread his arms as if showing her his entire establishment. My guess, she asked where she should sit. It was pretty relaxed around here, find yourself a spot and sit there. Rochelle will be with you, or if you wanted a drink, ask Rob.

Much to my surprise, and distaste, she made a beeline for me. What the shit? She smiled, forcing me to smile back or seem rude and that wasn't what I needed right now. "I'm Brianna ." She offered me her hand and I shook it. Her skin was soft, warm, despite the cool spring air. It felt slightly oily, freshly lotioned. It smelled of peaches.

I forced my smile, not outwardly reacting at all to the twitch that had just gone through my entire body. "Judd." I didn't bother with the last name as she hadn't either. She sat, not asking for my permission. Rochelle came over, her blues not quite as friendly, her smile a bit forced. Brianna asked for fish and chips and a coke. Rochelle sent me a look and I was pretty sure that she was jealous of my uninvited guest and wanted an excuse to move her. I gave her a smile, just the twitching of the corner of my lips but she backed off leaving me to look at my guest. "So," I fucking hated small talk, it was useless and served no purpose in all the damn universe, "what brought you here?"

"You looked lonely," she shrugged as if this were a statement of fact and not a very different answer than what I had been expecting. "I thought that I could sit with you. You did have an empty chair." I did, and I couldn't exactly fault her logic. We passed it in amiable small talk, though I let her do most of the talking while I just listened. Brianna was an intriguing young woman. She had recently started her own business and I had every confidence that she could make it and I made sure she knew it watching as she delicately sipped at her drink.

I let her eat in peace, talking around a wedge of pie I had asked Rochelle for. It felt like I should, otherwise I would just stick out more. Brianna too got upset with me for killing animals needlessly until I showed her the picture and explained the hobby I had, that I played off as a job. What was with women and killing animals? Christ, I was glad I was single. The time went by quickly. The sunset lighting the entire inside with brilliant hues of orange, red, and pink before fading into darkness. Rochelle kept us topped up with drinks. We had switched to ice water and I listened to her tell me about her line of products. I asked the odd question here or there but I was more of a listener so I let her talk as much as she preferred.

Finally, I made the move to get up. "Please," Brianna smiled courteously, "let me." I wasn't going to argue. The only thing better than food I didn't have to cook was food I didn't have to pay for. I allowed her to cover it, waiting on her before we exited the building. We talked for a while more, well, she talked and I listened to her as I puffed at a cigar. I wasn't really the smoking type but after a large meal there was nothing I enjoyed more than a large cigar to aid in digestion. I indicated her car, a sleek little Mazda sports car, it looked like a clown car because of the size of it. It didn't take much to figure out it was hers. "You taking off tonight?"

She nodded, "I need to get to Minot in the morning, still a few hours to go."

I looked to the sky and back to her, "Be careful, deer like wandering the roads at this time of night and they'll likely walk away laughing when you total your car." She laughed good-naturedly and bid me goodnight as she stepped into her car and watched her pull out of the parking lot.

I leaned against the wall, watching the smoke on my exhale curl on itself before vanishing as it worked its way towards the heavens. I listened to the family inside work at final cleanup, Rob calling out and asking if there were any more fives in the other till. It all faded to general background noise, familiar and comfortable, as I watched the stars starting to peek through a haze of clouds and glow defiantly. I heard her approach. "I would have thought you would go off with your pretty blonde there." I raised an eyebrow at the hostile tone and looked over to see Rochelle approaching me, she looked, pissed, but as she approached, I saw the glistening in her eyes, I could hear her breathing a bit harder than normal, she wasn't angry. She wanted to be angry, she was hurt.

"She didn't appeal," I spoke honestly, bluntly.

"No one talks to someone for three and a half hours without being interested." She snapped. She had been paying attention.

"I wasn't talking all that much, I'm pretty sure that Brianna there could have a conversation with your hat rack and enjoy it just as much."

Despite her best efforts, Rochelle laughed. It was a small laugh, but I knew I had taken the edge off her fury. "I hate you." I shrugged and followed her to my rental car. I opened the door for her, the very picture of a perfect gentleman. I walked around the car and got into the driver's side and pulled out of the lot and followed her quiet directions. "So, why didn't you go with the blonde?" I looked over to where Rochelle say, a petite, beautifully curvy brunette with kind chocolate brown eyes. She was the very definition of girl next door kind of beauty, that sedate sort that most of the world would overlook but a select few would see, and worship the ground she walked on. She had wide hips, a pristine, soft body that begged to be lavished with tongue and mouth. "She seemed like your type." Her words were a quiet statement, so full of hurt that I looked over at her.

"And what," I kept my voice calm, "pray tell. Indicated to you at all that she was my type?"

"She had nice legs, her hair was a nice style," Rochelle's was a mass of curls that almost seemed to bounce with her every step, "she talked to you constantly." I waited but it seemed like that was going to be it but I barely caught one final comment, a whisper, a pained flicker of emotion that came from her soul. "She's not fat like me."

I didn't react to the comment, I wanted to, but I figured that this poor girl got too many people that brushed her off. "You're not fat," were so easy to say, or some other excuse. And I had my thoughts that Rochelle had been told every single one of them. No, she wouldn't take simple placating. Besides, I wasn't good with talking. I wasn't a poet that had the right words for any situation. I was me, and fucked if even I knew what that was. "Take a left here." she sounded subdued and upset. Maybe I was supposed to say something?

I pulled up in front of a small home, it looked to be an RTM, small, but with a neatly painted fence and small flower pots along a railing. It was clean, well kept, and sedately beautiful. Much like her owner. I opened the door for Rochelle and breathed in, letting the calm of night wash over me. I followed her to the door, not entirely sure why. It wasn't like we had had a date or anything, she had asked me for a ride home. Simple as that. Still, this felt, right. And as a man that survived by his instincts, I followed them. "Thank you," she looked up at me, her eyes swallowed by the moonlight, looking almost black, but I could still see tears in her eyes. It nearly killed me. "I'm sorry I was an inconvenience."

Seizing the moment I leaned in, grabbing her hair and locking her in place, I was either going to get slapped or she was going to return this. I kissed her, I wasn't exactly a great kisser, I can be honest enough to admit that, but I kissed her, doing my best to show her, without the hated words, that she wasn't the fat one. She gasped into my mouth and I slid my tongue inside, pressing her against the door, locking her between me and it. I savored the taste of her, I devoured her, and to my relief, she kissed me back. Her entire body was soft, warm, welcoming. I pulled back, my breathing was hard and it sounded harsh to my own ears. "I don't think that you ever asked me my sexual interests."

She blinked up at me, her eyes hazy. "W-what?"

"You." The answer was simple and deadly. I wasn't attracted to anyone but her, and her naivete to my very deadly world was a hell of a handicap, hell, it may get her or I killed. It's why I had convinced myself I couldn't like her, why I couldn't even imagine the fantasy of her over me, all that deep brown hair thrashing my chest as she rode me, her eyes flashing with her lusts, and the way her soft skin would feel against mine. I couldn't give myself that fantasy, and I knew it was stupid that I had just kissed her, that I had just bridged a gap that I had kept her blissfully unaware of. And now, now it was too late. I kissed her again, not knowing what else to do, nothing else felt anywhere near as perfect as the way she wrapped her arms around me with infinite care and hesitation.

"If I'm dreaming," her words were soft, just like her, "I'm going to smash my alarm clock when it wakes me up."

I smiled, I couldn't help it and breathed in her ear. "You, Rochelle Pakam," I nibbled her ear, "are my dream." She was, and this was all kinds of stupid and I was never stupid. Ever.

She opened the door, it was a small town, no one locked their doors. We would have to remedy that. She was shaking, she looked about ready to pass out. I kicked the door behind me and locked it before coming to her. "Gorgeous," the word slipped out before I could stop it, "you need to breathe."

She nodded and took long deep breaths if I wasn't so concerned she would pass out I would have found it amusing. "Sorry, I just, I can't," she was floundering and it was adorable, "I can't believe you are here, and you want me."

"Want has nothing to do with it," if I had my way I would never want this perky, beautiful, voluptuous brunette, I wouldn't come back half hoping, and half dreading if she found someone else to be with, "I need you." Her mouth parted, and again, because I couldn't seem to stop myself, I kissed her. I pulled her to me this time, making sure she wasn't pressed against something hard and unforgiving, she would be pressed against me, and that was where she would stay.

Whoa. That's a thought.

She dragged me through the house, our lips only parting to breathe, to pull our shirts over our heads, and, once, when I tripped over the coffee table making her giggle wildly. Finally, when I felt like I wasn't going to take much more of her fondling me we made it to the bedroom. I gave her a firm push, watching her fall onto the bed with a short gasp, looking up at me with lust in her eyes. "What about the lights?" She sounded hesitant, "Aren't you going to turn them off?"

Uh, no. Was she out of her mind? Seeing her lying there with every inch of herself exposed for me was enough where I could feel my sanity starting to slip. "No." It came out as a feral growl as I walked towards her. "I want to see every bit of you."

"You really are too perfect."

Yeah, precious. I was all kinds of perfect, perfectly stupid. I came over her, kissing up her calves, her thighs, over the soft wonderful body with kisses and touches I hoped that I could memorize and hold close because there was no way I could let this happen again. Ever. I swallowed a nipple into my mouth smiling to myself at her moan of satisfaction and pleasure as I started toying with her body. Hell, it had been so long since I had been this domestic with anyone that I was surprised I remembered how to. I flicked her nipple with my tongue, smiling as her whole body tightened beneath me, she tasted exquisite.

"Oh, gosh." Her refusal to use profanity was amusing and yet strangely erotic, I wondered if I could ever get her to say something naughty during sex. Now, was definitely not the time to try. I needed her, this too much. I positively devoured her, driven on by her hands helping move my head where she wanted me, and by following the moans. She was extremely responsive, it was wonderful really, and it drove me crazy. I kissed over her skin, feeling how hot and slick she was on my fingers, more than ready, more than eager. It was all too much. "Please," she sounded like she was terrified, "don't wait, I don't want to wake up too soon again." Holy shit, the fact she dreamed about this, us, was. Holy shit.

I groaned, I couldn't stop myself, as much as I wanted to make this perfect, because I couldn't come back. I slid into her, not even knowing what was going on, what had happened or why I had let this all happened, why the fuck wasn't I using a condom? Everything slipped away as she pulled me down to kiss her, her legs wrapping around my hips and her tight wet pussy clenching down on my cock. I almost came right there like a desperate teen. That, would most assuredly not do.

I pinned her hands above her head, watching with a feral smile as her eyes flashed, widening, and feeling her clench down on me. "Stay." I could barely get it out past a snarl as I thrust into her. My eyes couldn't stay locked to hers anymore, I watched, hungrily, as her breasts heaved up and down. It was erotic beyond any fantasy I had hoped of. Watching her pale and succulent skin beneath my tanned one, watching her curves press into the muscles of mine. It was so erotic.

"Oh, yes," her voice was the faintest of moans in my ear, "just like that." I thrust into her harder, desperate for her softness. I could feel my hips crashing into hers with the wet smack of flesh on flesh, the primal stacatto of lovers, and unfortunately, this wasn't going to be a long performance. "Oh, I am going to cum!" Music to my ears, "I'm going to cum!" She wrapped her legs tighter around me, pinning me in place as I came with her, hard, my entire body shuddering and shaking. Our cries entangling in the room as sensual as we were bound. I collapsed onto my forearms but she pulled me down even more, lying my head to her breast. Her fingers running their way through my hair in soft delectable motions. "That," I breathed, "was incredible." It seemed like such a trivial word, but again, not a poet.

"Stand up, very slowly." The voice was coy, flirty even and I looked over to see one Brianna in the doorway. I felt Rochelle stiffen but her fear kept her from crying out.

"Shh," I kissed her lightly on the lips and winked, "it'll be okay precious."

"Big talk for someone who is a dead man." I stood, slowly, fully naked, and turned to face Brianna, her eyes were cool, her smirk not reaching her eyes as she pointed a small Glock at me.

"I knew I should have stayed in my bulletproof vest." I sighed. "Shows how little I know." I smiled at Brianna and watched as it unnerved her. "So, who sent you?"

"You killed my brother you bastard!"

I raised an eyebrow. "Stephan was your brother? My deepest apologies, if I had known that that level of crazy ran in the family I would have taken you all out." Her eyes flared, her smile tightened as she clenched her teeth and she moved the gun to point at Rochelle who whimpered.

"Any more smart talk and I'll blast the fat bitch's brains out." She was shaking so badly she really might do so damage by accidentally pulling the trigger.

"You just made two fatal mistakes." She looked at me, her eyes cold, fearing nothing, well, chalk that up to a third, always be afraid that someone bigger and meaner exists in the world. "One, you ruined an amazing night. And two," my muscles tightened just slightly, "you took the gun off of me, that was your only chance." I launched myself forward and knocked her back with me, ignoring the sting of pain that came as thunder exploded in the room, dark spots danced in my vision as I connected with the small body and sent her to the ground. I heard Rochelle scream, I saw the blood and I smiled even more down at the terrified face of Brianna as tightened my hands around her neck. "And you do not call her fat."