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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 3 years

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raven-san, can we please have a wedding crashing where jade needs to marry this girl from another crime family to consolidate power and become the next head of the leech mob :)) but floyd's like I'M BORED and annoyed that his brother's being snatched up by a random chick, so he asks basketball bros, and azul, to help save jade?

This one is super long, so I added some extra sections and placed the rest of the wedding crashing below the cut!

***Spoilers for Jamil and Floyd’s Unique Magic!!***

"I object to this wedding...!"

Pre-Wedding Jitters

A call comes for the twins in the dead of night, without warning. It’s their parents with exciting news: they’re naming Jade as the next Don Leech. The catch? The Leech mob’s in the middle of a merger with the Worm mob, and he’ll have to marry Don Worm’s daughter to secure the deal.

Jade, ever the dutiful son, is honored by his future title and calmly agrees to the arrangement. On the other hand, Floyd’s annoyed by the idea, and can’t keep quiet about his irritation. He calls out to his twin in the darkness.

“... Ne, Jade.”

“Ee, Floyd?”

“Are you really okay with going through with this? You’re just gonna do what they said? Even though you don’t know the Worms at all? Even if you’ve never met that girl before?”

“It is a request coming directly from father and mother. How could I refuse them? And, furthermore... If I do not undertake this task, then it would fall to you, the next choice to inherit the title of Don Leech. I cannot allow that to come to pass--fufu. You do so enjoy your freedom, yes?”

“... Jade, you’re so dumb sometimes. What’ll happen to your freedom, then? Will you get so busy with being the big boss and being married... that you won’t have time to play anymore?”

“... Perhaps. But that is a sacrifice I am willing to make.”

That thought doesn’t sit well with Floyd--not at all.

“I trust that you will make your own fun of the situation,” Jade reassures him. “You always do.”

As the weeks pass, Floyd sees less and less of Jade around, since he has to prepare for the wedding. Jade reassures him that he’s doing just fine, but Floyd can see right through his lies. He can tell that Jade’s more frazzled than usual--there’s a lingering to his words, and a longing in his eyes, savoring every last bit of autonomy he has before his fate is forever sealed.

Floyd hates it. He hates being lied to by his own brother, and he hates feeling powerless to stop the wedding. Floyd’s so angry that he develops this murderous aura in the weeks leading up to the wedding, which makes everyone around him shy away.

One day, he gets sick of being in the water--it’s a reminder of the wedding to come--so Floyd plays basketball on land to vent. He ends up chomping down so hard that he deflates a ball, then dunks another basketball so hard, he breaks the net.

He sprawls out on the ground and angrily shouts at the sky. His basketball bonks him on the head... and that’s when an idea hits him: maybe he can’t stop the wedding alone, but no one said he couldn’t phone some friends.

Assembling the Dream Team

Floyd first dials up Azul, who agrees to help after some whining and signing a contract agreeing to pay Azul handsomely for his services (... although truthfully, the octopus does want to help Jade, but doesn't immediately agree to do it because of his pride as a businessman).

Floyd also calls his old basketball buddies for help! Jamil and Ace are much more adamant than Azul, but Floyd strongarms them into pitching in. ("Umihebi-kun, Kani-chan, if you don't help me rescue Jade, I'll get suuuper mad, you know? I don't think you'll like me when I get mad. Moray eels are strong hunters, so I don’t think it’ll be a problem for me to track you guys down and give you a good squeeze~" "OKAY, OKAY, WE'LL DO IT!!")

Together, the four boys meet up to scheme of a way to disrupt the wedding without jeopardizing the Leech mob's future. Floyd actively leads the discussion, allowing his hidden genius to come to the surface.

Ace doesn’t contribute much to the strategy (laid out by Azul), but he does keep the spirit up with some jokes. Meanwhile, Jamil provides snacks for them when they work late into the night (though he keeps passing semi-glares to Azul whenever the octopus compliments him or tries to be friendly).

In preparation for the crashing, Azul brews some potions to give Jamil and Ace so they can take on temporary merforms. After all, the wedding will be underwater, in the Coral Sea, and they’ll need tail fins.

The date of destiny draws ever closer... and Floyd's never been so excited to cause chaos in his whole life.

The Crashing - Team Azul & Jamil

They split into two pairs on the day of the wedding—Azul and Jamil, and Floyd and Ace. Floyd uses his position as the future son-in-law to Don Worm to arrange a meeting between himself and the don... except Azul and Jamil will show up instead.

Don Worm shows up to the meeting in his finest clothes (which is very little, given that he’s a merman), sounding a bit annoyed the sudden summoning. “Make this quick, I’ve got to go see my baby girl’s big day... Wait. You fellas aren’t the F. Leech boy.”

“No, we aren’t, sir. We are his representatives... Proxies, if you will,” Azul insists, giving his warmest and most welcoming smile. He uses a tentacle to tug on Jamil’s tail, forcing him to smile too. “You see, there is an important business matter we needed to discuss with you on behalf of Floyd.”

“Hoh? And what would that be?”

“I believe my business associate would be better off explaining the matter than myself.” Azul gestures to Jamil, who has his head down.

“Oi, what’s with you? Don’t you know who I am, boy? It’s rude to not look your elders in the eye when they are speaking to you!! Show me the respect I deserve, from one professional to another!!”

“My apologies, sir.” Jamil looks up, locking eyes with the mob boss. “... Is this better?”

“Yes, that’s...”

“Snake Whisper.”

Don Worm suddenly goes glassy-eyed and slack-jawed. Azul claps at the sight, showering his partner with compliments. “As expected of the talented Jamil-san! Even one look from you can bring a mafia lord to his downfall. Truly, your Unique Magic is most impressive!”

“Save your flattery for later.”

Azul’s lips curl into a smirk as he whips out a golden contract from his briefcase and offers it to the don. “Now then, if you wouldn’t mind, sir... sign on the dotted line.”

The Crashing - Team Floyd & Ace

Ace and Floyd rush to the wedding venue, their tails cutting through the water like knives as they swim at a breakneck pace. Ace can barely keep up with Floyd, who surges far ahead.

“H-Hey, should we really be barging in like this?! Don’t mob families have weapons and other dangerous stuff? Is there a backdoor we can take instead? Hello?! Floyd-senpai, are you listening to me?!” (He isn’t.)

The open, underwater comes into view, and Floyd barrels in without any hesitation, tearing right through some decorations and knocking over the wedding cake with his tail. A loud CRASH! echoes through the waters, drawing eyes to him.

Jade stares at his brother from the altar—wide eyed, but a mirthful smile on his lips. Floyd waves to him, and then to his mom and dad in the crowd of guests. “Hiii, Jade! I’m here to pick you up now.”

The Worm girl starts sobbing, wailing something about how her special day’s been ruined, and where is her papa to put an end to this? At her signal, security guards, and some of the rougher looking guests—Worm family associates—lunge at Floyd, claws and teeth out. A few of them have produced wands, and what seem to be guns—loaded with harpoons.

“Bind the Heart!” Objects and stray magic go flying in all directions, hitting both people and wedding decorations. Cloth tears, columns crumble—but it’s one man against many, and he can only bind so many hearts before the blot starts to stack.

Ace makes it just in time, sending their foes and their weapons hurtling through the water with a blast of wind. “This is why I said to be careful, dammit! Your Unique Magic’s such a crapshoot—don’t just use it whenever, or you’ll be sushi!!!”

“Ahahahah! Kani-chan’s being all heroic today! That’s so cute. Don’t worry, I can play my part, too...!!”

Using his tail, Floyd hooks around a drifting merman and chucks him straight into another. They collide with a CRACK!—but Floyd barely registers it. He’s already bolting off, grabbing heads and smashing them together, slicing through others like a knife through butter.

There’s a crazed, frenzied look to him, gleeful laughter cutting through the waters and mixing with the Worm bride’s screeching. I forgot how scary Floyd-senpai can be, Ace realizes. (Jade and Floyd’s parents are cheering for him from their seats.)

Jade looks quite proud of his brother, even laughing along to the brutal slaughterfest. His bride stares at him incredulously. “Stop that brute! He’s ruining MY special day!!”

“No,” Jade replies calmly. “I don’t think I will. This is far too amusing to let it end so soon.”

She lets out a frustrated scream and launches herself at her groom, hands going for his throat. The Worm girl is slammed back with a strong hit to her gut, courtesy of Jade’s tail.

She flies back, slamming into a column—and feels a tail wrapping around her and squeezing tight. Constricting her to the point where it was difficult to breathe. A livid mermaid glares down at her, teeth bared in a snarl.

“No one lays a hand on my children,” Mama Leech declares. “No one.”

From the corner of her eye, the Worm girl can see that Jade has cast off his bow tie and flitted over to Floyd, embracing happily in a battlefield adorned with red ribbons trailing through the water. Her vision is abruptly blocked off by a broad-shouldered merman wearing a grimace.

“Now then, what shall we do with this one?” Papa Leech wonders aloud—though from his tone of voice, he has nothing good in store.

The Aftermath

“You’re all fish bait when daddy hears about this...!” the Worm girl warns, her words raspy. “Th-The merger won’t go through...! There’ll be war between the Leeches and the Worms...!”

A loud throat clearing comes from behind. “Fortunately, that won’t be happening.”

Azul and Jamil make their appearance, the octopus merman smugly showcasing a contract. “Ashengrotto—Azul Ashengrotto, legal and business extraordinaire at your service, Don Leech and Lady Leech.”

Papa Leech grunts. “What’s that you’ve got there?”

“This?” Azul’s smirk widens. “Why, it’s a prenuptial stating that, in the case that an act of violence is enacted by the bride toward the groom, the marriage is considered null and void... and the bride’s family assets are to be claimed by the groom. Signed by Don Worm himself.”

“Wh-What?! Impossible!! How did you get daddy to sign such a stupid deal?!”

“Oh,” Jamil says nonchalantly, “we have our ways.”

“So... Uh, Jade-senpai’s still gonna be the next Don Leech?! And he’s gonna be in charge of an even bigger and richer family... How is that any better than the situation before?! You’re just giving him more resources for committing crimes!”

At that moment, two hands come down on Ace’s shoulders, causing him to freeze up.

“Kani-chaaaaan! Everyone!! Thanks so much for your help~”

“Yes, you have my sincerest thanks, Ace-san, Jamil-san... Azul.”

“It is my pleasure to assist such VIP clients. Ah, but there remains the matter of my promised payment—” (Jamil and Ace internally groan at Azul’s words.)

“Payment?” Don Leech scoffs. “After the ballsy operation you boys pulled off today... I’m more inclined to give you job offers instead of a one time sum. How do you lads feel about being hired as the Leech family’s personal lawyer, interrogator, and... well, whatever the heart one is good at.”

“My, my! Such a generous and lucrative offer—“

“There is no way I’m accepting that, especially if that means working with Azul.”

“Oi, I’ll have you know I’m good at lots of stuff!! I’m the one that saved Floyd’s tail fins, is no one gonna acknowledge that?!”

“You did amazing, sweetie!!” Mama Leech chirps—her tail grip tightening until the Worm girl passes out. Ace leaps back in fright. “As a reward, why don’t you let me give you a hug?”

“S-STAY BACK!!”

“Ahahahah! Everyone’s getting along so well, Jade. Isn’t this fun? You wouldn’t be able to enjoy this if you had gone to get hitched.”

“Fufufu. You are correct, Floyd. How sad it would have been if I were to miss out on touching moments such as this. From the bottom of my heart... I thank you for thinking of me, and for rushing to my aid. I could not have asked for a better brother.”

... What Floyd doesn’t know is that this was all according to keikaku Jade’s own machinations. He would never take the order to marry lying down—but he couldn’t outright defy it without immediate consequences, either.

Thank the Great Seven Jade has reliable puppets friends to help him out of a pinch. I’ll be certain to put the additional funds we have gained to good use... Perhaps to start a little mushroom farm.

#Floyd Leech #Jade Leech #Azul Ashengrotto #Ace Trappola #Jamil Viper #twst #twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #wedding crashing #spoilers

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skullhaver · 3 years

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It's 2021, and I'm watching Buffy for the first time.

The Virgil on my Buffy journey is my long-distance girlfriend, who has loved the show for years. We just finished season 4, and I wanted to write about my favorite episodes so far. I suspect some of my faves are beloved by most fans, but others are weird, personal picks. Buffy fandom, please don't come for me.

I thought this post would be short but I was wrong.

Hono(u)rable Mentions: "Band Candy" S3E6 and "Halloween" S2E6

Both these episodes have fun premises where the Scoobies run around Sunnydale after it was upended by zany, chaotic dark forces. "Band Candy" is fun for devil-may-care teen Giles. "Halloween" is fun for 18th-century-ditz Buffy. These are both very good, and are the sorts of episode I can imagine happily rewatching in the future. I just have more to pontificate upon for the other episodes on this list.

10. "Ted" S2E11

I can’t say I enjoyed this episode, but it did take me for a wild ride. Probably nobody else has strong feelings about this weird story where Buffy's mom dates a stereotypical cheesy family man, who turns out to be a controlling abuser, who turns out to be a robot. I remember shouting at the screen, "Did Buffy just kill a human man?? Is it okay in the moral logic of this show for Buffy to kill a human if he's a direct physical threat to her??" I knew Buffy would have deeper stories than the monster of the week formula we'd seen so far, but this early in season 2, I had no idea when or how that would happen. This was the episode that finally taught me that Buffy is largely not interested in moral ambiguity, or in exploring what it means to be good or bad. Except for season-defining exceptions like Faith and Angel, evil characters are simplistically, essentially evil. But it was wild to believe for a moment that Buffy murdered her mom's abusive boyfriend and would have to live with the consequences.

9. "Helpless" S3E12

When Buffy tries to be genuinely scary, it succeeds with aplomb. The premise of this episode is dumb and contrived ("Giles has to remove Buffy's powers without her knowledge for a seeeecret test by the Watcher's Council") but the chase and fight in this episode are some of the most tense and spooky scenes of the whole series so far. Buffy's vulnerability makes the stakes feel real in a way few other episodes manage. And Buffy's victory is all the more satisfying because she can't punch her way out of this problem, she has to be smart and creative. The fridge horror, of course, is that Giles would endanger her like this in the first place, but that gets sorted out over the emotional arc of the next few episodes.

8. "I Only Have Eyes For You." S2E19

Another spooky episode, this one a classic ghost story of forbidden love ending in murder - but with the twist that the ghosts possess people's bodies to have them reenact their final moments. I love stories about breaking a doomed-to-repeat cycle. I love weird shit like the snakes manifesting in the cafeteria. And I really loved the choice to have Buffy and Angel come to understand their feelings about their own relationship by embodying these ghosts - especially how they embodied different genders than their own to better fit the "roles" of the haunting story, thus subverting the expected pattern. I found this episode clever, poignant, and effective.

7. "Who Are You?" S4E16

"Faith and Buffy switch bodies" is a wild premise, but the real joy of "Who Are You?" is watching Sarah Michelle Geller being an extremely talented actress for 45 minutes, portraying a totally different character. Watching Faith confronted by kindness and love from Buffy's mom, Riley, and her friends, then getting launched into an existential crisis over it is so great. Also, I just dig a good church fight.

6. "Hush" S4E10

As stated above, love an episode that reminds me that these people are talented actors! Featuring demons that render all of Sunnydale unable to talk, we get to watch great physical comedy right next to tense, silent fight scenes. The visual creepiness of the Gentleman and their straight-jacketed weird little helpers is hard to beat. "Hush" is such a clever episode that it ascends monster of the week status to become almost Twilight Zone-esque. Also, for the first time, Buffy sees Riley doing his Initiative thing, and Riley sees Buffy being the Slayer, but they can't talk about it?? That's good shit.

5. "The Wish" S3E9

Both "Something Blue" and "The Wish" feel like the writers decided to use fanfic premises on their own show... so obviously I like them a lot. But getting to watch a dark timeline AU with interesting world-building and attention to detail, a hilarious and horrifying Cordelia POV, AND a smirking kinky vampire Willow? Hello?? And the fact that the Wishverse comes up again in "Doppelgänger" (another truly fun episode) only improves my opinion. I imagine this is the kind of episode fans simply love coming back to.

4. "Restless" S4E22

This David Lynch-ass dream sequence was a weird choice for a season finale, but an extremely ambitious and cool episode. I should say up front that I love David Lynch-ass dream shit. There were creative and well-executed scene transitions as characters moved seamlessly from one dream room into another. Several memorably neat shots - Willow running between endless curtains as she tries to get onstage, Buffy alone in a vast desert with a weirdly high camera angle. And I got myself all excited thinking that the First Slayer would maybe become a different kind of antagonist - maybe not even fully revealed in this episode, or maybe an Id-like aspect of Buffy herself. But I forgot Whedon gonna Whedon, so the First Slayer had to be someone Buffy could punch in the end. And the First Slayer is sadly yet another primitive-themed, emotionally-stunted character of color for this show. Most of her lines in this episode are literally voiced by a white woman speaking for her, and of all the dumb quips to make, Buffy had a line about her hair being unprofessional? Also, I'm a lesbian, so the fact that the most explicit act of intimacy between Willow and Tara this show has allowed us to see occurs in Xander's horny dream sequence... it’s unforgivable, Joss. This episode was one of my favorites ever, deeply marred by some bad writing choices.

3. "Lovers Walk" S3E8

Spike, perhaps the best non-Willow character in this show, is back in Sunnydale, a hilariously heartbroken mess of a man, hell-bent on getting his former girlfriend Drusilla back. (Drusilla left him for a fungus demon.) So Spike breaks into a magic shop to get ingredients for a love spell, where he runs into Willow, who is getting ingredients for a de-lusting spell, because she is worried she and Xander will be too thirsty to behave appropriately in public with their actual partners, Oz and Cordelia. This is a hilarious moment just to exist. This is all the episode needed to do to satisfy me. But the fact that Spike then kidnaps Willow, and it ends with tragic stakes of everyone's relationships coming apart, not to mention me genuinely thinking Cordelia was dead for a minute there - wow. Chef’s kiss. The episode is balanced shockingly well between Spike being an ominous villain, and being the sort of lovable semi-evil (more gremlin-like) side character he'll become in season 4. What a wild ride.

2. "Graduation Day" S3E21-22

I'm counting this two part season finale as one because it's my list and I'll do what I want. "Graduation Day" feels like a quintessential Buffy episode executed to perfection. It has Buffy reaffirming her position as a moral heroine, sacrificing her own blood to save Angel's life even when she thought she had to kill Faith to save him. It has Buffy and Faith (or Buffy/Faith, as I prefer to think of them) getting to square off in a dramatic, tough fight. It has a lot of Mayor Wilkins, a character I truly adore for some reason. Nothing like a public administrator who plays mini golf in his office, wants you to chew with your mouth closed, and will kill a graduating class of high schoolers to gain immortality. The catharsis of the whole school getting to fight back against evil, instead of just Buffy against the world - a real joy. This episode misses the top spot for two reasons. "A special vampire poison and the only cure is the blood of a Slayer" is too contrived for me to let slide, and also I had to see Cordelia and Wesley kiss.

1. "Becoming" S2E21-22

Buffy’s season finales really do have good stories and satisfying payoff. First off, Buffy starts this episode by punching a cop and fleeing from the law. Later, Spike also punches a cop. A.k.a., Buffy said blue lives don't matter. Second - I haven't gotten a chance to comment on this yet, but all throughout season 2, evil Angel is such a joy to watch. As regular Angel, David Boreanaz makes exactly one face ("I am a kicked, angsty puppy") and bless his heart, it gets so tiresome. As evil Angel, he is so expressive, dynamic and terrifyingly creative in his badness. And I love his weird threesome energy with Spike and Drusilla. But also, it's so hard to watch Buffy suffer as she deals with her evil boyfriend doing evil things. Her ultimate choice in this episode, to kill Angel even as Willow's spell restores his soul, gave me some real big feels! Also, this episode marks the first moment of Willow doing big, plot-shifting magic on her own, solidifying her transformation from computer nerd to witch!

Also, shout-out to the many good smaller moments in this episode: Spike making awkward small talk with Buffy's mom, Buffy constantly dunking on Principle Snyder, and Giles being tortured by visions of Miss Calendar (RIP Miss Calendar, I was your biggest fan.)

"Becoming" is an excellent season finale and the kind of Buffy episode I imagine I will want to re-watch in the future just for nostalgia's sake.

#buffy the vampire slayer #guess i will tag this and just engage in pvp if it happens #buffy fandom in 2021 i don't know you but please be nice #this was fun to write #i guess i do like this show!

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roswelldetails · 4 years

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RNM 2x05 - I'll Stand By You

So just a little note from me, the person behind the season 2 detailing. I am trying really really hard to keep emotion out of these posts...which is really really hard for me because I'm an inherently emotional person. I'm a glass case of emotion, ready to shatter at any given moment. (#dramatic) But I want to be true to the intent of this blog and keep my feelings, biases, and, you know, shipping out of this blog.

It was really really hard to do with this episode. Because I straight up ugly cried for like, 45 of the 60 minutes. 😂

So I guess, the point is, I'm proud of myself and sticking to the details here. My regular blog is where I'm doing the emotional flip out thing! 😂

EPISODE SUMMARY:

ACCEPTING REALITY — The discovery of some complications with Max’s (Nathan Dean) pod forces Liz (Jeanine Mason), Michael (Michael Vlamis) and Isobel (Lily Cowles) to confront the possibility that they may not be able to save him. Elsewhere, Maria (Heather Hemmens) and Alex (Tyler Blackburn) make amends. Kimberly McCullough directed the episode written by Alanna Bennett & Jason Gavin (#205). Original airdate 4/13/2020.

DETAILS:

Max/Isobel/Michael reunite at age 11 according to what Michael tells Alex in 1x10. So that would make the opening of this episode set in 2002ish.

Michael tells Max and Isobel, "I remember you. I don't know you."

"After nobody adopted me for a year they just stuck me with the name of that trucker who found us."

"I didn't ask you for anything."

This is like the thesis statement of Michael's whole history with Max in the flashbacks.

"Don't pay more than you collect, kid. Passing credit back and forth is a good way to get stuck with somebody forever."

Rosa's art.

What I can see says: "...what they all told me, but I didn't listen" and "Stand the shelter".

Rosa on her dreams

"I have not had any freaky dreams in weeks. Okay, Max is probably off haunting Isobel now that they're strong enough for their psychic twincest weirdness."

"How long has that been happening?"

"Um, I don't know. It's an old boom box."

"Rosa, have electrical appliances been malfunctioning around you?"

"I really thought it was just a side effect of the handprint."

"If being in the pod introduced a new protein into your system it could have altered your DNA too. You could be developing abilities."

"Liz, look. The handprint is changing. It's smaller."

"It's fading."

"Tell me this is a good thing."

"I don't think so."

Michael and Liz theorizing on why the pod shorted out:

"The pod's got a charge. It's like a battery powering the preservation process. This one's gone dead."

"Did the generator blow the electromagnetic threshold?"

"I think a surge came from the pod itself. But that pod has lasted almost a century. It shouldn't glitch out."

"Okay, well, then, this one did."

"All right, stop. It doesn't matter why the pod is broken. It just is. So how long does Max have?"

"My theory is that being tethered to Rosa through the mark is what kept Max from going brain-dead, and in turn the stasis process is what kept the mark from fading. So he could be gone by tonight."

"Okay, well, we have three more pods. So let's just put him into another pod."

"No. He's just gonna do it again. I haven't told you everything. I didn't want to scare you. I didn't want to be the one that took the hope away."

"Talk now, Rosa. Right now."

"I was seeing Max in my nightmares months before I told you about it, and he was begging me to stop you. He said that he was in a lot of pain in there."

"That's Noah's pod. Noah told us it was broken. It wasn't keeping him in stasis. He could feel time passing. None of us thought of that."

"We've been doing everything we can to make Max stronger. He pulled his own plug."

Note...as far as we know Isobel was the only one who knew about Noah's pod being broken. In 1x12 it was before Liz arrived at the house that he told them about the broken pod, so only Max and Isobel heard that part of the story.

Alex on his training. "NSA intelligence cryptology training".

Monitor screen in the secret lab:

Noah's heart is still too weak to transplant. Kyle says it needs at least eight more weeks

"I wrote a paper for a bioethics class on patients in vegetative states who feel pain. Sometimes it's all they feel."

As a non sciencey person, I was wondering if bioethics class was a real thing. Tonight I saw an interview on the news with a UC Berkeley bioethics professor on COVID. So yes, it's a thing.

Alex on Michael that summer post-Rosa's death:

Starting fights with jocks

Broke into the drugstore

Not going to UNM

Hasn't hung out with Max all summer

Got busted for stealing hubcaps (Kyle's hubcaps, we learn later)

Became a walking bar fight

Was in jail when Alex left to enlist

Michael on Max in 2008:

"It's more than that. And it's less than that. We were friends when we were kids, but now Max reminds me of a bunch of stuff that I'd rather forget. The only thing that we have in common anymore is Isobel."

Max's yearbook had a pencil stuck in the page with Liz and Max's photo in it. (The one we first saw in 1x03).

"Biology Club. Max hated science. He was in that club for four years just to watch your sister chew on the end of her pencil."

Max's mindscape:

First just desert, clouds, and then lightning strikes (destructive energy?)

Liz's antennae -- they disappear from Isobel's hands

Rosa describes it as broken

Crashdown special is Max's favorite "Little Green Man milkshake".

The Crashdown counter is kind of merged with biology lab equipment.

The juke box is there

The Crashdown booths

Jeep

Neon Crashdown sign

One of those claw drop game machines (from the Crashdown) but it's filled with baked good displays.

The yearbook

Later, everything else is gone except the one Crashdown booth, the Jeep, and the neon sign.

The distorted music they follow to find Max is the Cactus Groove song in the music list...just, messed around with. See @angsty-nerd's post here:

"I'm the hothead. You are the hero. It's always been that way."

"You stole the hubcaps off Kyle Valenti's graduation present. Both his parents are cops. Do you want to end up in jail tonight?".

👀 Tonight, specifically.

Michael seemed excited about the job at Foster's Ranch until he found out that Max set it up for him. Max found out about it from his dad (only like the 2nd or 3rd mention of his dad in the series so far).

"When I got back in town I asked Max why you and your brilliant mind hadn't changed the world yet. He said you didn't care about the world enough to bother changing it. He believed you could."

Max and Isobel in the mindscape:

"You're okay. I could feel something was wrong with you. Everything felt…"

"Cold. I know."

"You can't be here. It's finally ending. I can feel it. But I don't know what happens if you're in my head when I die."

"So it's true? You want this?"

"I could feel my connection to the outside world getting stronger, so I snapped. I couldn't take it anymore. I released a surge. You have to let me go, Iz."

"I can't take it anymore."

"Okay."

"I am so sorry."

"I just want to memorize this."

"Okay. Okay. I need you to tell Liz something."

"You can tell her yourself. She and Kyle are prepping for surgery. They're going to use the faulty heart. She just wants to talk to you before you die."

"No. No."

"You won't be suffering. They're just gonna bring you back and then let you go."

"No you have to stop this. You cannot bring me back under any circumstances."

"Max? What is really going on?"

"I am dangerous. Whatever Liz is bringing back is not me. It's just some broken shell."

Maria on her mom's computer

"Her nurse said that for the two weeks before she went missing, when she wasn't trying to escape, she was talking to someone online."

The 21st birthday flashback

Isobel gets Michael to help move Max after getting drunk on tequila. He passed out in front of the tattoo parlor. It's the same tattoo parlor Michael goes to at the end of the episode.

Max's weird drunken statement.

"The thing is, there has to be there. Okay? There's always three. Until the very end. I'll show you...What it means is you should be here…'cause it's all broken without three. So we'll figure it out. You'll find your way back."

👀 Until the very end. Interesting.

On Max becoming a deputy:

"You know he did the whole police academy thing because of you, right? He thinks you're gonna get into the kind of trouble you can't get out of if you don't know someone."

Back in the mindscape:

"I figured it all out. She, there's an energy to suffering, there's an energy to death, and when I heal people, I absorb that energy. So when I resurrected Rosa, I took in ten years of emptiness. So if you resurrect me, you will be bringing back an infection. Don't want… I don't want to come back as a monster. I don't want to hurt anyone that I care about."

"That's what this is about? We've been hurting, Max. We don't work without you."

"You will! You will. You are stronger now than when I died. All of you are. You, Michael, Liz, you will survive this. The three of you. No, you need to stop them, Iz. Now."

"Okay. I love you."

"You too." Isobel disappears.

Max is using pretty similar wording to his drunken rambles in the 21st birthday flashback

We don't see that Max is chained down until this next exchange with Rosa. Isobel didn't see that detail as far as we know. Didn't hear the chains clanking when they stood and hugged. Only after Isobel left.

"I'm sorry this is happening."

"Isobel is lying. She is buying time. You know she'll never let me go. But you can feel the darkness too, right? That's why you don't like being in my head. Because you know it's real."

"I didn't want that to be true, but yes."

"I know my sister and I know your sister and they'll never give up. So you have to be the one to stop this surgery, okay? Or I will destroy everything that we love. You have to stop them to save them. Now go. Please, Rosa. Go."

Isobel explaining to Liz

"When he saved Rosa he absorbed all of that dark energy. He's gonna have to expel it."

"And he's afraid he's gonna kill someone when he does."

"Yeah. So we just need someone stronger than Max to take that hit...if he thinks he needs to protect us he obviously doesn't know how capable we are. Bring him back, Liz. I'll handle the rest."

"I get it now. It's gotta be the three of us."

"He would never pull his plug to end his own suffering. Unless he thought he was saving us from something. And I'm a little sick of his heroic martyr crap."

In case you missed it, Michael did not know that. At the beginning of the hospital sequence Isobel is telling Liz what she learned in Max's mindscape and says that she hasn't been able to get ahold of Michael. Michael figured it out on his own. He finally "got it".

The pacemaker:

Isobel with Max at the end… everything is gone except the Jeep. And Bright Eyes playing (the song he and Liz danced to on their first date back in 2008). And then his eyes close and Bright Eyes fades away.

“First thing I remember is the three of us. We woke up terrified and lost. But together. And then all of the sudden I was alone. I got real good at being alone. I had given up on people entirely. And then you found me again. Hell of hero move. You showed up just in time. When you are a kid who nobody loves, kindness is a currency. Friendship doesn’t means jack. Family just lies, and hurts, and leaves. I’ve only ever known love to be temporary. So yeah, I push people away. Every time someone threatens to care about me I test their love until they have to leave. Connection is conditional. Everybody eventually gives up on the guy who refuses to be rescued. But you were the only one who I couldn’t run off. You never believed me when I tried to be something I wasn’t. So this thing in your chest, it might give your heart a pretty solid kick every once in a while. Consider it payback. It’s my hero move, Max. If you wake up, you consider us even, okay? If you wake up, we can be a family.”

Good visual parallels during Michael's speech. Alex and Kyle drinking together during the "and then you found me again". Maria walking up on "the guy who refuses to be rescued"

Max is in the coma for three weeks. Wakes up at the secret lab (instead of his house, which is where he was previously. I'm guessing it was a planned wake up because he's no longer plugged into all of the IVs and whatnot.

"I begged you to understand."

"Max, it's gonna be fine."

"No… I told you to let me go. I can feel it inside me."

"It's...it's symmetry, okay? It's just energy for energy. We can deal with that. Fight it, Max. This isn't you."

"I don't want to hurt you. I need to get out. I need to get away from you, from everyone."

"I can't let you do that."

Max shoves Isobel and runs. When he shoves her there's a slight ringing like the sound they use when the aliens use their powers. Isobel follows and stops him with her powers.

"I made a promise that if you came back and you weren't Max, and you were actually going to hurt people that I would kill you. I figure, hey, you got to play God. Make life and death decisions all on your own. Well it's my turn now."

MUSIC:

1. Letters To Cleo "Here and Now"

2. Lady Antebellum "Love Don't Live Here"

3. Cactus Groove "Fallin"

4. James Talley "Big Thunder"

8. Ross Copperman "Stars Are On Your Side"

5. Lindsey Ray "Keep You Safe"

6. Tommee Profitt feat. Sam Tinnesz "With you Til The End"

7. Bright Eyes "First Day Of My Life"

The Cactus Groove song is the first song this season that I haven’t been able to find on Spotify… let me know if any of y’all had any luck with it!

#roswell new mexico #rnm season 2 #episode details #long post #rnm 205 #i'll stand by you

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judgement-free-sideblog · 5 years

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Occupational Hazards

Barry Berkman x Reader

Three part series: It was just another job, he doesn't even had to kill anyone, but the way she looked at him was more dangerous than the bullets.

Part I Part II Part III

Angst with a happy ending

Warnings: Violence, cursing, blood, mention of abortion, stalkers.

Part III

"Someone got lucky" Natalie said when Barry entered his apartment, she was helping Nick with his lines for an audition and since the first pictures of his relationship with Y/N had emerged she always find an excuse to be near him and ask a million annoying questions "Although is kind of tacky to come to home with the same clothes from yesterday"

"No comment" That usually make her keep her distance but since he took forever to pour himself a coffee she followed him to the kitchen.

"So we were watching the nominations this morning, anything interesting to talk about it?" Somehow even when his job consisted in sell the lie he didn't felt comfortable talking about Y/N with his friends, and specially not that morning. He gave her a deadly glare and just walk inside his room.

Barry left the untouched coffee on his desk and collapsed on his bed, he wasn't tired, and the ideas revolving in his mind would keep him up for long enough.

They have watch several romantic comedies with wine and popcorn and then when they were discussing how impractical and unrealistic they were she apologized to him for the permanent damage that the article would cause in his attempts to get back to Sally, it wasn't strange since they have come to know about each other's past over the weeks, the strange part was that he was not actually concern about it. Sally had become a simple friend and he was sure even had to talk to him more often since Y/N came into his life, but he didn't had romantic feelings towards her anymore.

However the sudden realization that those feelings were gone because of the woman that was curled next to him, screaming at Cameron Diaz to run away from her idiot fiance; made him feel uneasy, he would have prefer to leave, but she was obviously anxious about the nominations the next morning so he agreed to take the couch, but she since she couldn't sleep they open another bottle of wine and start asking questions about each other.

He got to learn that the B&H menthol were her favorite cigarettes, but she was trying to quit and she actually only have one or two every couple weeks when she was to nervous, and he make himself a mental note to buy a package just in case. He told her about his favorite music, and a thing or two about her days in Afganistan, she told her how her mom was dying and her money was not to save her just to help her live her last days in least pain.

She asked about the most terrible thing he ever did and when he couldn't answer she went first.

"Do you want to know the real reason I broke up with Richard?" She said suddenly completely serious.

"You don't have to do that Y/N..."

"I want to, I feel like you have this weight on you and that you think of yourself as a monster, so do I. I may not be the trash human everyone think I am but that doesn't excuse what I have done. I have always hhave friends many friends men and women, and I even like some of them, that doesn't mean I sleep with them but for Richard every men I even talked to was someone I was fucking behind his back" She took one large drink of wine, it was clearly a painful memory "The thing I actually loved him, and I actually saw myself sharing my life with him, he was my agent back then and I could look over her rudeness most of the time... but then I got pregnant" She gave him a sad smile and he could see where the story was going so he remained silent even when he wanted to hold her. "He obviously didn't believe it could be his, and ask me to take care of it, or my life and my career and my mother treatment would be over so I did it. And don't get me wrong I know now that it was the right choice, believing I could have a family with that pig is ridiculous, but it wasn't my choice at the time and I don't know after that I just had to run away from him, I actually sleep with my costar, that's number 3 and use the scandal to break things with Richard, and now I'm here"

He hold her close to him and not thinking he started telling her about Korengal, about Moss and about Mayrbeck, she was comfortable to hold on to, she simply nodded and asked an occasional question about the time those things happened but she didn't judge him, and he eventually closed his own eyes and pretend for a moment that she was not paying him, that there was actually one human being who would love him not only despite his past, but also because of it. Someone who would feel safe enough with him, that she could sleep like that. He wanted to tell her that Sally was nice but she would never accept his truth, and she was like a getaway car, she had been the illusion to be Barry Block and leaving all behind, but her... Y/N came looking for Barry Berkman and she wasn't scared of him, but he also couldn't say it because he knew once things were over she would go back to his life and his little bubble will pop.

And that day was closer than ever, she was nominated as Outstanding supporting actress in a limited series or TV movie, and as she had said she had absolutely no chance to win because Maverick wouldn't let her, but the amount of opportunities that would come after if she get nominated would be enough to find a new agent, and walk away from that life, so she had been waiting to hear her name for months and now that it was finally there the look on her face was enough to turn down all of his precautions and he simply kiss her.

He take her by the neck in the middle of her excitement and simply put his lips onto hers and kiss her like she was the only thing he needed to survive, and he was only recovering his common sense when Y/N hold him tighter and kissed him back with the same intensity, he was happy beyond comprehension but reality find its way to his mind and eventually he let go. Y/N opened her mouth to say something but her phone start ringing with congratulations from her friends and that allowed them to have a minute to settle down.

"Don't worry about the suit, they are probably going to offer you one" She said to him finally after answering the phone the third time.

"Yeah sure, I am so happy for you. Congratulations" He was being honest, but he needed to acknowledge the kiss somehow "I'm so sorry I shouldn't..." for some reason apologizing for something he was not sorry for is what he did.

"Please don't apologize, it was nice, is being a long time since someone kissed me like that, say it was the heat of the moment, or that you simply felt like it, but don't be sorry about it because I'm not" The look she gave him, that's when he knew he was doomed, she wanted him, for how long? who could tell, but he was much of a coward to find out, so he make up an excuse and didn't even touch her when he said goodbye, and just walked away.

Fortunately the next weeks past in a blur, a couple days later their Variety interview was the subject of an angry call from Sally for not telling her, and endless banter and teasing from his classmates wich lead to shaming him into bet on her in Jermaine Emmy's pool.

He had tell the story of how they met more times than he could remember, and there was little to no time to be alone with her, other than the choreographed PDA they had agreed beforehand, and she even had to leave for two weeks to New York for another set of endless interviews, on wich she made sure to get his name out at least once, he watched them and pretend that he was the actual loving boyfriend waiting for her return even when his mind kept reminding him he was not.

He had told her everything and she didn't judge him, and his heart was holding the hope that maybe, just maybe in the end she could be a friend since he felt undeserving of something else, and by the time he was at her place waiting for her to go to the ceremony he had already promised himself he would be there for her no matter what.

The award ceremony was magic in itself, walking next to her on the red carpet and watching her like the star she was in the elegant black gown she had chosen was more than enough for him, but there were also a lot of famous people who surprisingly treated him as if he belonged, and in the middle of that crowd he could finally found a moment of intimacy with her on the way she nervously hold his hand whenever Richard looked their way and when he got upstaged to introduce the Award Y/N was nominated in, he was attractive and charismatic but the smug on the bastard face when he read her name on the nominations and then when he finally said the winner (Zoe Saldana or someone like that) were enough to make his blood boil and mentally mark a bullet with his name on it.

***

"I just lose 300 grand" He whispered in your ear and you could smell a hint of perfume, it was perfect.

"Well next time bet against me, and listen to me when I talk" you fixed his bow tie as an excuse to touch him, he looked unrealistically hot, the tux the hair, even the incipient beard that had started to grow look fantastic on him. "I hate after parties, but Adrian says we should make an appearance and then we can get out of there"

He nodded and you could feel him trembling under your hands, he had been weird since the kiss and you can understand why, but you wanted to reassure him that you didn't give a fuck about his past, that Block or Berkman or whatever you only cared for Barry, that there was something in him that make you feel happy, that he calling out your bullshit was something you needed and that that kiss was the single most happy moment you ever had.

They drove you to the after party and you allowed the crowd to separate you from him while you mapped out in your mind how to talk to him on the way home, and then you felt it, the stench of bourbon and cigars, and a big hand pulling from her arm with strength, you paralyzed for a moment and the promise you had made yourself to kick his nuts the way Barry teach you fly away when he got in the middle of your conversation with a Mexican Director famous for not giving a crap about Hollywood who had a project on Netflix.

"Oh please don't let this man drag you tho those movies actual cinema is here in Hollywood, not paying monthly to watch on your leaving room" He smiled like a hyena and you desperately try to avoid him, but pull you closer and Alfonso simply gave you his card discreetly and walked away. "Quite the spectacle you have put on with the little soldier" he said letting go of your arm, but still blocking your way with his body. "Too bad is about to be over."

"Oh I was not aware you have a saying in when or for how long I am with someone" you spat at him desperately looking for someone to come closer so you could make an escape, but your heart broke when you saw Barry talking happily with whom you assume was his Sally Reed, and you felt alone and defeated and he must have seen that in your eyes because his poisonous tongue kept talking.

"He is good looking I give you that" he said looking in his direction and then back at you holding your chin and you fight with all your strength to not cry right there "But he is just a looser from Ohio, who was caught in the middle of all this glamour" he made a round movement with his hand and then pointed at you "And you are a drinking, smoking whore, you are not going to be the respectable wife of a soldier and retire to live in the suburban house with the white fence. Wake up from your dream Y/N, you need to be with a men who knows how to treat you and how to please you" His hand was on your waist and you felt disgusted by his touch and you cursed yourself for not screaming then and there to fuck off "Tell me little one, does your soldier know how to make you scream? Or does he bore you to death in bed" He was drunk it was obvious and you could feel his breath approaching you and could anticipate his movement, he was going to kiss you.

"Well I haven't recieved complaints" Barry's voice take you out of your trance state and you move away from Richard, he had put his hand on his shoulder and was pressing him steadily in his place, he was way taller and Richard almost look funny next to him "But we hardly ever make it to the bed do we babe?" He possessively take you by the waist and pull you away from him straight to his lips and kissed you voraciously, something that people around you actually notice because you could hear a couple of whistles.

"Are you okay?" He whispered quiet enough so only you could hear and you nodded yes "Such a pleasure to meet you finally, Barry Berkman" He offered his hand and Richard took it trying to put out his charm again.

"The famous Barry, so you are the man taking away our beautiful Y/N to make her a decent woman" He teased you again. You were no longer shaking and Barry's presence gave you courage.

"I think is the other way around" You search inside his jacket for a pack of cigarettes you saw him put there earlier an took one to your mouth "I'm trying to make this beautiful man and indecent creature" Barry quickly offered you fire and then he looked to Richard who was obviously angry at him.

"And you are succeeding honey, anyway I'm going to have to take her away for good, bye Richard" He didn't give him a chance to respond and you were already walking towards Sally, she was there as the plus one of her costar in Richard's movie and she was a lovely person, who only wanted to reassure you she and Barry were done, offered you her friendship and asking for acting advice.

"You want to get out of here?" You said once you have talked to almost everyone but this time Barry make sure to not leave your side in case Maverick come close again.

You walked outside and the car was waiting for you, and different from other times he didn't let your hand go once you were inside, instead he put his arm around you and hold you closer to him.

"I'm so sorry, I paralyzed, I was freaking out and I didn't pushing away, I feel so ashamed" you started speaking against his chest with tears finally coming from your eyes.

"Hey there, it's okay" He patted your back and kissed the top of your head, his voice was calming like a balm taking away the pain "That guy is a jerk, at least he is getting the point now, you were right. What kind of asswhole needs to see a woman with another man in order to understand she doesn't want him?"

"We hardly make it to the bed?" You said smiling "I liked that one, the look on his face"

"I couldn't think anything else, was it too much?" He clearly was nervous about kissing you but this time you were not letting him go so easily.

"Maybe, would you consider this too much?" You pull his face down to kiss him but he didn't move, he kissed you back, not as theatrical as before and his lips felt soft on yours and you could feel his hand on your neck holding you close to him and the other caressing your hair, it felt like pure electricity and little by little he started pushing his tongue inside of yours, and you were surprised by the dominant way he kissed you and the tender way he was holding you.

You were interrupted once the driver announced you were home and once you were inside you could see him burying his hands in his pockets like he didn't know what to do with them.

"We shouldn't" He said finally but his eyes meant something else "I mean I'm still working for you"

"And you say you were no prostitute" you smile at him, using him as support so you could take off your heels and tossed them somewhere in the living room "Are you coming or not?" You take his hand and point to the staircase with your head.

"Yes ma'am" he answered with a grin a followed you upstairs leaving tender kisses in your bare shoulders.

***

Barry wake up with her naked body still wrapped around him, her dress that had been almost impossible to take off was in the floor in some corner and he went to put on his boxers so he could get downstairs, it was 7:00 am and he wanted to make her breakfast, even if he couldn't figure out his way in the kitchen, but he chose to take a leak first.

He was walking out of the bathroom, with the memories of the previous night burning in the back of his head and then he listened it, the familiar sound of a gun going off and he panicked, because it wasn't in his hands, and then a stinging pain in his shoulder, an actual relief because whoever was shooting didn't knew what their were doing, he collapsed on his back next to de bed and hit his head making all blurry but he was listening.

The noise wake Y/N and Barry could hear her scream when she saw him bleeding, and his mind was only thinking in fighting back, then the lights turned on and he could see her, the figure shaking at the door holding the gun.

"Why? Why did you had to choose him?" Adrian's voice had a high pitch on it "I was the one supposed to comfort you, and to hold your hand last night Y/N!!!" She shot at her but thankfully she was terrible and she missed, barry didn't move waiting for a moment to reach for one of the guns he had hide in her room months ago, begging to not bleed out before he could.

"Leave that alone for once" Maverick voice said from the door "And you get dress" He tossed a night gown to Y/N that was covering herself with a bedsheet, he hit Adrian on the face making her fall to the ground and took the gun away from her hands.

"What the fuck Richard?" Y/N scream at him, and she put on the gown "What the fuck are you doing in my house" She attempt to run towards Barry but he stopped her.

"Oh I wouldn't do that sugar" He sounded drunk or something else, but he had enough coordination to hold the gun better than Adrian that now was a crying mess in a corner. "Sit here and don't move" He forced her to sit on the bed and went to were Barry was trying o stand with a hand holding on the bed. "Come on soldier sit with your whore"

"Adrian why did you do this?" Y/N was talking to the young girl, but she couldn't even look at them she was curled in the floor sobbing and holding herself. "I cared for you, you were like my sister, I loved you"

"Oh, did you hear that?" Richard laughed and went to pick Adrian by the hair and forced her to look at Y/N "A sister, but that's not what you wanted right? You'll see Y/N this lady here found something interesting about your prince charming here, and out of her so called love for you she came to me to help her solve your problem, tell me sweetheart have this man told you why did he came home from the war? He is a fucking murderer." His words sound poisonous and Y/N look shocked, but Barry new it was more about how he got that information than the actual fact that Barry had killed someone.

"What do you want Richard?" She said and her voice was soft, she even move apart from Barry in what he hoped was pretend disgust "What are you talking about?"

"This guy you chose killed an innocent man and walked away with it, and your lovely friend here was so worry about you that last night she was too drunk to shut up, so this morning she convinced me to came here and help her get you to safety, but oh no, we are too late" he started pacing around the room making an fake distressed face, and he ignored Barry for a moment "When I got here he had already snapped, he killed your friend..." He pointed the gun to Adrian's head an ignored Y/N pleas and simply killed her "And then I have trouble imagining what could have happened" He had a sadistic grin and took Y/N by the hair and force her to kiss him. "What do you think? He killed himself when he saw what he did?" He pointed his gun at Barry's head who was looking down with his hands behind his back "Or the coward shot you before he killed himself?" He caressed her face with the smoking gun and enjoyed the terror in her face "What is it going to be dear?" He said trying to force another kiss on her.

"Maybe think better asswhole" Barry said and out of nowhere he took the gun frrom his hand an shot him in the head under the scared face of Y/N and even when he was relieved he had saved her he could assume he had lost her forever.

***

The official version was that Richard was high on many different substances, he broke into your house and tried to kill you but Barry took that bullet and then when Adrian tried to calm him down he killed her and out of fear and his agitated mental state he end up blowing up his brains.

There was no reason to disbelief you, he had make a scene at the party the previous night when you left and the gun was registered, and in his house they found footage of your apartment entrance and some pictures taken from the front building as Barry had suspected.

After some harsh couple of months and a very well elaborated lie things were settled down and you even were about to start working on a new independent film.

Everything was perfect but you still missed him, you haven't been able to manage the initial shock and he interpreted as you being too disgusted by his lifestyle and he choose to go back to his anonymous life, to his acting class and being Barry Block, even when press won't leave him alone for days.

A year passed in a blur and you felt hurt that he didn't called you, and you were too proud to look for him, and suddenly one day, Sally walked in for a table read for the movie, and after it was over, and after impressing everyone there including you she timidly approach.

"Hi, I don't want to be awful, but do you remember meeting me?" She said and it take you by surprise the humility she showed.

"Sure you were Barry's friend right?" You said hiding the pain his name produced in your heart.

"Oh my god you remember that's so sweet of you, I just wanted to say how glad I am to work with you, you are such an inspiration" She seemed sincere but you wanted to run away from everything that could remained you of him "And I'm sorry it didn't work out for you guys, I mean he is still obviously in love with you, but he is such a non violent guy that I get why he walked away, but you are a fighter and I just wanted to say I respect you so much"

You smiled and change the subject, and praise her acting buying you enough time to process her words and a glimpse of hope start shining, maybe it was not all lost.

***

"I'm lady Macbeth, again" Natalie's voice was proud of herself, this was the third time they were doing the Shakespearean night but this time he hadn't get Macbeth like the previous year but Benedick in a scene from Much ado about nothing, a comedy since Gene thought he needed to experiment more with that genre, and he had cast Saha as Beatrice, but she didn't have the slightest interest since he had actually given her a second role as Helena in Midsummer.

By the time he was ready to come out in scene and declare his love for Beatrice the woman looking against him was clearly not Sasha but he could have known her figure in any place and so he went and started talking not sure of what to expect.

BENEDICK: I do love nothing in the world so well as you; is not that strange?

BEATRICE: As strange as the thing I know not. It were as possible for me to say I loved nothing so well as you: but believe me not; and yet I lie not;

I confess nothing, nor I deny nothing. I am sorry for my cousin.

BENEDICK: By my sword, Beatrice, thou lovest me.

BEATRICE: Do not swear, and eat it.

BENEDICK: I will swear by it that you love me; and I will make him eat it that says I love not you.

BEATRICE: Will you not eat your word?

BENEDICK: With no sauce that can be devised to it. I protest I love thee.

BEATRICE: Why, then, God forgive me!

BENEDICK: What offence, sweet Beatrice?

BEATRICE: You have stayed me in a happy hour: I was about to protest I loved you.

BENEDICK: And do it with all thy heart.

BEATRICE: I love you with so much of my heart that none is left to protest.

BENEDICK: Come, bid me do any thing for thee.

BEATRICE: Kill Claudio.

The last line resonated in his mind for a moment, but she turned to the audience to make a bow and so did he happy to receive the applause, and she went to take his hand on hers and take one more bow before leaving the stage to Natalie.

"What are you doing here?" He asked her once they were apart from everyone.

"Playing Beatrice, Gene is an old friend of mine, I'm surprised he didn't told you, he loves to name drop, I asked him if I could read for this, I do miss theater you know?" She said finding a chair to sit on, the costume looked beautiful on her.

"That's not what I meant" He started keeping his distance.

"You never called, I went to pick you from the hospital and you leave before I got there, you avoid my calls..." Y/N was holding her hands together nervously. "

"I didn't think I should be around you, and Richard was no longer a threat" he said giving in and sitting next to her. "I do my job and walk away, that's how it works".

"Don't call it a work you didn't get paid" She said hurt by his words and he regretted immediately "We both know it wasn't that anymore that night... Barry I would not give you the crappy speech of how much I love you, but I do, I love you, with all the shitty parts that come along with you, if anything I love you more about those, am sorry I freaked out at the moment but I was sure he was going to kill you, I wasn't scared for me nor of you, for you plenty"

He remained silent for a moment and then he finally stood up, and for a moment she thought he would walk away, but he didn't.

"Do you want to get coffee?" He asked simply.

"Will you hold the mug like a normal person?" She joked.

"I'll ask for a paper cup with no handle if it's better" he said extending his hand to her. "And for what is worth, I love you too"

She took his hand and walked with him into the night, but he couldn't feel the darkness anymore, and the future looked bright for once.

The end

I liked this a lot, I hope you enjoy it

#barry berkman edit #barry berkman x reader #barry block #barry hbo #barry berkman #barry berkman x you #barry berkman fanfiction #bill hader #gene cousineau #monroe fuches #sally reed

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marloblogs · 4 years

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BLOG POST 1

Hi everyone my name is Marlo.

Im 16 years old and, I'm studying at Saint Paul University Tuguegarao City Grade 11 humms is my strand. Because my first choice is become a police officer someday and my second choice become nurse to help the society are people.

I was born on Saint Paul Hospital Tuguegarao City. For me i called myself a miracle person because when i was still the one of my mom he told me that i excited to go out to see the world.but it was seven months back there but the normal give up work is nine month so i called myself a miracle not a special. When i came out of my mother womb i almost died. Because after he gave up birth of me i stayed in the incubator for 1 month but i'm lucky person in that time for almost 1 month i survived my life. After i discharged from the hospital we need to go to the doctor to test and monitor everything up there something change of my condition every week. Because of the sacrifice of my mom and dad is not measurable for they what they doing to me to live the time.

In my life i had some up and downs i had experienced this when i'm in school but it's rather good now. In elementary age i will train myself to be a good at any aspects like sports and academics everything else.example of this sport is lawn tennis i got interested to it because my mothers quotes that time in a long tennis club.because of the sport he build my socialization to other people and build my confidence every time there's a contest in that sport.

Because of that sport i go to the provincial meet and travel of the places of tuguegarao city to contest in it.that's why i got a lot of socialization and experience to.when i'm in the junior high school write a level up challenge to become because there are many trials that you will through it like there's many student transfer of any school and you need to socialize with them to become friend of yours.life in the junior high school is a challenge able but there's more experience and learning of what are you doing to it.

After i finished junior high school journey there's something happen to the world that hindi inaasahan covid-19 pandemic many people affected at and the summer high had the most learning vacation ever not to me but for everyone. because of the covid-19 pandemic i spent more time to my family to friend and etc. i spent more time to learn in the farm like planting different fruits trees and how to care any kind of animal like the chicken and Ducks and mostly goat. Because of that summer i had i learned how how to be a respectful useful and meaningful life. And the last I learned is to that's our vacation is to be a healthy and clean myself any time or anywhere what i go and doing. And now at this days i studied at saint paul university tuguegarao city in online class.

GUIDE QUESTIONS.

1: what do you see yourself 10 years from now? Is my leading in SPUP vital where I’m leading to?

I can see myself 10 years from now is a successful officer or nurse. Yes, my learning in SPUP is vital to what I’m leading to because this university provide high quality education.

2. Was Humms the best choice after all?

Yes. Because I want to become a police officer someday.

3. What course will you take in college and why?

I’m planning to take criminology because I want to protect you didn't my prevent crime in our society country or nursing because i want to take care my family when they have a sick.

4 what topic would you like to learn more in this subject?

The topic that i want to learn in this subject is all about technology. Because we are in the modern world or technology world so I want to learn this topic because it’s helped me to communicate together in the modern world and advance knowledge of it.

5. What the coronavirus has taught you about life?

The coronavirus taught me about life is to always clean myself not only today but anytime. the challenge is to sustain because I learned how to plant different kind of vegetable fruits and planting flowers. I also learn how to take care animals like chicken ducks goes and goes. And closer to god anytime what I’m doing over to go I pray. It also taught me coronavirus pandemic is to be a healthy.

BLOG # 2

Cellphone or phone.

Based of my opinion and research.

Cellphone or Phone is a directly screen or a portable telephone that entry or access to the cellular radio system that can make and collect call above the a radio frequency. A basic primary mobile phone is therefore tiny more than a merge of radio transmitter and radio receiver. Cellphone or phone help us to communicate our love ones to distant place over the world anytime anywhere 😍❤️. Cellphone can affect our brain activity, reaction times, and sleep patterns, and it caused brain cancer if we over used it.

BLOG # 3-5

Movie# 3

“The princess and the frog”

Once upon a time, there lived a king who had seven beautiful daughters. But all of his daughters, the youngest was the most beautiful. This princess had one favorite among all her toys. It was a golden ball. He spent many hours throwing it into the air and catching it. On a hot day it was pleasant to rest under the cool shade of three, by the pool.

The princess of then went there to play by yourself. The youngest princess used to run about on the grass near the pool throwing up a golden ball and catching meet one day however when the princess threw her ball it did not fall into her outstretched hands. It fell onto the grass and bounced into the deep pool with a loud splash.

The princess could not bear think that she had really lost her beautiful, golden ball. She began to cry he began to cry. And marshy thought about the loss of her favorite toy ,the louder she cry. The princess wept, she heard a voice saying , young princess? What is wrong. “Do not cry ,” said the frog . “I can help you to get your ball. But what will you give me if find it for you?”

“I will give you anything you wish for,” replied the princess. “you can have my clothes or my cue wells or even my golden crown if only you will find my golden ball.”

I do not want your clothes your juice when you're golden crown” replied the frog. I should like it i love me I want you to let me be your friend and play with you I want to sit beside you at the table with chair golden plate and drink from your golden cup I want to sleep in your bed beside your.” the princess thought that frog was talking nonsense. Also she wanted her golden ball very much. So she said, “yes i will promise all that you ask if you only you will find my golden ball for me. At this words the frog dive into the pool .the frog dive deep into the pool and sun came summing up again the golden ball in his mouth he threw the ball into the grass. The princess was so happy to see your favorite play thing once again. She pick it up and laugh with delight as he threw into the air and caught it again and again.

The next day the young princess was sitting at dinner with the king, his countries in the other princesses. I see it from her little golden play the frog found his way into the great hall of the castle. He jumped from step to step up the marble staircase. when the frog got to the top he knock on the door of the dining room the “youngest princess open the door for me!” he cried. when the frog was on the table he said to the princess please push your little golden plate nearer to me. Then we can eat together from the same plate”

When he had finished eating, the frog turned to the princess and send now i am tired please take me to your room and we will lie on your little silken bed to go to sleep. She put him in a corner of the room as far as possible from the bed. Then she got into her silken bed and turned her back on him. Once more the frog spoke up. “I too am tired” he said “ I want to sleep beside you on your silken sheets. Please lift me up. the princess knew he had no choice for her father one dean says that she kept her promise so with tears running down her face she pick up the frog climb back into bed and put him on a silk and pillow beside her. No sooner had she danced so than the frog turned to handsome prince and kind face and she smiled gently and the startled princess. never installed a princess how we adopt and watch her playing with her golden ball in the forest and how he had fallen in love with her so I has the princess to marry her and the princess look into it kind face and agreed to do as asked. So the prince and the princess were married and they lived happily ever after.

Guide Questions:

1.What are the lesson can be learned from the movie?

Don’t judge the book by its cover.

2. What part of the movie was the most powerful? Why?

The most powerful part of the movie is Princess accepted with his heart the frog Prince no matter what he look like. Because Princess see how the frog appreciate the hard work of Frog Prince to go back to itself again.

3. Who was your favorite character in the movie?

The Frog or the Prince, Because he never give up to reach her dreams that go back to human. And patiently.

4. Did anything that happen in the movie remind you for something that has occurred in your own life of that you have seen occur to others?

Yes, Me when I’m in the junior high when grade 7,8,9, I got no awards so I study hard and then I reach the with honors in grade 10.

Movie # 4

“A Boy”

A boy named Prince lived a poor family together with his mother. The mother of Prince was old and she has a sick. And her father died in accident. Every day Prince was wake up early to delivered a newspaper before going to school.

He arrived to her class was late every day so he punished her by run ten rounds to a open court. After finished her punishment he will came to class and sit in her sit while he listen to her teacher one of her classmates. Prince was always bullied because of late. That day while the teacher discuss or teach their lesson Prince was sleep because of the tired in delivered a news paper and run ten times.

When he wake up the class he was shock because the class is finished so he pick her things. While walking he saw the poster of their school that running contest 500 meters and he picked the form to apply to be a contestant he went to their home. While walking in the street prince was saw of her classmates always bully her and Prince was bullied by they grab the form and they throwing each other. Prince was challenge her classmate always bully her to race.

While they running Prince was fell down to the ground and he lost. After that contest with her classmate key West decided to go home where you walking he saw a shop of shoes he asked the owner of how much of the shoes “RM30” the owner said. And Prince was said “I don't have any money” and he leave. When Prince at their home her mother saw her wound in her feet and they treatment her wound.

After given relief here wound Prince was find job to buy the shoes he want and then he saw the shop that their wanted a job. And Prince was started to her job.

While mother of prince teach her ,told to prince to study hard because education is the give to her, prince show the form of competing to the contest of their school. And her mother agreed of competition. But he deal to Prince that study well. When Prince was obtained her first salary he buy the shoes that he want.

When Prince walking in the street. Her classmates always bullied her they followed Prince and they grab the shoes that he buy and passing and passing each other until they accidentally fell onto the river. After they drop the shoes of Prince in the river they leave.

Prince was going to her home crying when he come to their home he stop at the front of her door and cry. Then her mother see Prince cry and comfort it and he asked , What happen? My new shoes was lost Prince said and cried . “Don’t cry “ Prince mom said, come let’s eat.

While eating her .other give the old shoes to Prince that he sewing. But Prince was throw in to the edge and said “ Mom you don’t understand I want a pair of sport shoes not a broken shoe’s don’t know why I born in this poor family” Prince said and run go to her bed and cry. When both cry at her bed his mother come and give the pair of shoes of his father that suitable to his foot and tell to Prince that “ When your father died in an accident he left nothing but the pair of sport shoes and sorry because you are born in the poor family. After Prince realized that the shoes that he give to him is the hard work of his mother to sewing it and he had sick after all. After heard and realized Prince was go to his mother and hug his mother. And then the competition has come when Prince walk through to the competition he was saw the classmates that always bullied her they said Prince have no match to there and they push Prince and he fell down. Before the match start her mother do to school to support her and motivate Prince before start to compete. And the competition start Prince was at the last but he keep it up running until he was the first in line but Prince push while running and he fell down and he was the last again but he never give up Prince was stand and continue to run until he finished the race and he win at the first place.

GUIDE QUESTIONS

1. What life lesson can be learned from the movie?

We need to suffer of want we want or we need to hardworking to achieve the things that we want.

2. What part of the movie was the most powerful? Why?

The most powerful this story this story is do not give up stand up of what you want to achieve. Because if we give up to our dreams you will not achieve the things that you want.

3. Who was your favorite character in the movie? Why?

My favorite character in the movie is Prince because he born on a poor family so he will work hard to achieve her dreams and things you want he was hurting and humble.

4. Did anything that happen is the movie remind you of something that has occurred in your life of that you have seen occur each other?

Yes, My classmate on Junior high he will find job on weekend so that he will go to school on his school days.

Movie # 5

“GITARA”

It is a story is a boy live in a poor her mother is a farmer and her father was stoke. One day while boy and her cousin Edgar work there’s a letter that they change of life of boy the brother of her cousin Edgar from Manila. That telling they got work to Manila.

Boy and her cousin Edgar hurry to pack their things. After leaving his family in the province he was said goodbye to go to Manila. After two years staying in the Manila boy and Edgar was seller of slippers ,shoes, sandals etc. One day while they selling of their products Boy was see a beautiful girl named Flor that throbbing her heart.

When Flor and his friend go home Boy said can I joined you? Flor said sure why not. While walking Boy directly said “ pwede bang manligaw”. Flor was not answer it so in the next day while boy playing his guitar in the under the tree. Flor asked for water and snacks . So Boy immediately buy some snacks after boy give the things that he buy Flor and his friend was said they go to the CR. But after two hours he saw Flor in the car that the owner is the boyfriend of Flor. They stop at front of Boy and said “Boy in very sorry” Boy replied “ But Flor I waiting for two hours here.” I’m very sorry boy and they leave.

One day Boy went to the “Smart Padala” to send money to her family.

After Boy sent money to his family. Boy so flor he accompanied and they walk together. While walking Flor ask boy “why you always bring your guitar” boy said this guitar is my father gift to me before she stroke I came alone to manila because I want to give more money to my family in the province so they buy the medicine of my father.

One night flor see her boyfriend got a new girl with her and they ride with his car. So flor come to the girl and he slap at the face and tell his boyfriend that they broke up. and floor was cry and cry at the wall and said to his friend everything. That night boy and his cousin edgar walking they saw floor and they approached her to tell what happened. But flor get angry too boy and said just leave me alone, if I had a problem it’s none of your business just leave me alone. You're not awkward to your self boy? Flor said to him. Your smell like market and dirty. Just leave me alone. One day flor realize that he did the boy is isn't the good thing. Because boy was a good person and responsible to him. After a week flor want to see boy to say sorry but he never see him. While flor and his friend walking day saw look alike of boy but is not. And that they saw boy was change in to handsome and how it looks rich wear.

And then flor came to boy and asked for forgiveness of what she said to boy that night he saw her boyfriend with girl. And boy forgive flor and they close to each other like a lover . After how many days they out and play. But one is day there are letter that receive from his family in the province that said his father died. Boy was shock and cry and sad so he came to flor to tell about her father died . But his heart was more crushed when he heard to flor that she was playing boy emotion. When boy heard that he was immediately leave and pack her things to came in his family. After how many when her father of boy buried. Boy was felt something in his body. And one day when the mother of boy see him shock because boy was fall to the ground. When boy presented to the doctor they boy have a mental problem because when boy and Edgar came to Manila boy was hit by a hit and run car. And add the depression of his father died and flor playing his heart.

While Flor thinking of boy that he never see a week he curious so he asked the cousin of boy. If we’re he was on the province so cousin of boy gave their address so he came there .When Flor was there he was surprise at he was saw because boy boy is became crazy so flor decided that stay so she was take care of boy . After how many days boy was survived the depression that cause of craziness or cured and that day Flor and Boy was became a lover.

GUIDE QUESTIONS

1. What life lesson can be learned from the movie?

The lesson that can be learned in this movie was be forgive each other and do not take revenge.

2. What part of the movie was the most powerful? Why?

The most powerful part in this movie is boy forgive and accept flor many times. Because he did not want flor leave him.

3. Who was your favorite character in the movie? Why?

My favorite character is boy because he has hardworking, forgiving, and loving to her family.

4. Did anything that happen is the movie remind you of something that has occurred in your life of that you have seen occur each other?

No. But my cousin is a forgiving her girlfriend has always cheat my cousin and anytime back to my cousin to get back together. So they are now strong relationship.

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d-noona · 4 years

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MAKE OVER

Chapter 7: Fairy God Mommy

Jung Hoseok x Reader

Reader as Kang Hyeonji

SUMMARY: When Kang Hyeonji transformed herself into a striking redhead, the entire male population of Seoul stood up and took notice. But her make over was for Jung Hoseok’s benefit alone. He began to show interest in the new look but not in the way she wanted. Suddenly he was over-protective, perhaps a little jealous. It seemed that the idea of having a relationship with her couldn’t be further from his mind. The girl however wants more. So it was time for an ultimatum. If Hoseok didn’t want Hyeonji to lose her virginity to another admirer, he had no option but to make love to her himself.

After that nothing could have made Hyeonji happy, not even when Mrs. Jung returned with her still apologetic mother in tow. Amazingly, Zil was thrilled by the idea of becoming Mrs Jung's cleaner, then estatic when Hoseok explained his refinancing offer.

"Isn't that wonderful news Hyeonji?" Her mother exclaimed. "Now we wont have to have a stranger in the house. And you'll have money for yourself for a change."

Hyeonji smiled and said yes, it was wonderful. She smiled all through lunch and laughed when the four of them moved Mrs Jung's living room furniture to new spots, then have to move everything back again to their original places when the end result did not please Mrs Jung's creative eye.

No one would have guessed how wretched Hyeonji felt. She was a past master at hiding her feelings, especially around Hoseok. But her heart grew heavier as the hours passed. By afternoon tea, she was exhausted with the emotional strain of pretending to be bright and breezy when inside she was shattered. Hoseok's getting back with Tinashe the following Sunday was the final straw.

His eagerness for their reconciliation had been palpable, his body language reeking of sexual frustration as he'd spoken of his time away from Tinashe. He could not wait to jump back into bed with her. Hyeonji could no longer fool herself. Any attention he'd been giving her had been the result of his boredom, not because of any suddenly selfless maturity.

"You won't forget about the refinancing," she reminded him stiffly when it came time for them to leave.

"Not at all. In fact, your mom is going to provide me the relevant papers this very afternoon. I'll collect them shortly, Zil, and have Sejin get onto it first thing this week, then I'll bring up whatever needs to be signed next Saturday." As Hoseok elaborates what he plans to have his secretary do.

"You coming home next Saturday, are you?" Hyeonji asked with a weary resignation. Normally, the thought of Hobi being around thrilled her to pieces. Now there was no pleasure in the news, only the cynical thought that of course he was coming home. Had nothing better to do till Sunday, did he?

"Yes, I've been invited to speak at a local business awards dinner on Saturday night. I'm also presenting the prizes" he says.

"How nice." Hyeonji answers blandly.

"Why don't you take Hyeonji, Hoseok?" His mother suggested. "The invitation says "and partner"."

Hoseok's instant frown was enough to turn Hyeonji off the idea, despite her stupid heart giving one last feeble leap. His eyes turned her way then travelled slowly over her. She could actually see his brain ticking away. Dear old Hyeonji doesn't look half bad now. She wouldn't be an embarrassment to take, not like she would have been a week ago.

"Would you like to go?" He asked her. "It's a black tie, so you'll need a dinner dress."

Hyeonji steeled herself to do the one thing she'd thought she would never do. Reject the man she loved. "Thank you Hobi," she said with superb indifference, "but I have other plans for next Saturday night."

His brown eyes instantly clouded a small stab of triumph lifted her spirits momentarily., quickly followed by a much stab of despair. Tears threatened and she just had to get out of there. Panic had her glancing around for her mother. "Ready to go home Mum?" She asked, determined to keep up the false gaiety to the bitter end. "I have quite a bit to do before the working week starts tomorrow."

"My working week starts tomorrow too, doesn't it Mrs Jung?" Zil returned happily.

"Indeed it does."

"Thank you so much," Zil went on, clasping her neighbor's hands with her own with rather touching gratitude. "For lunch. And...and everything."

Mrs Jung smiled and patted Zil's hands. "It's I who's grateful. I've found myself a wonderful cleaner and a new friend as well. See you in the morning Mrs Kang."

"And I'll be seeing you later Mrs Kang!" Hoseok called out as Hyeonji shepherded her mother out of the house. "To get those papers."

"What nice people they are," Zil said on the short way home. "And wasn't it kind of Hoseok to help us out with that money business?"

"Yes, it was." Hyeonji admitted, but tight-lipped.

A silence descended between the two women as they made their way inside, but Hyeonji could feel her mother watching her.

"Why didn't you say yes when Hoseok asked you to go out with him?" Zil asked once they were safely alone in the kitchen. "It...it wasn't because of what I said earlier, was it? About not being...well...pretty enough for him? Because that's not true, Hyeonji. You're plenty pretty enough. And he really likes you. I can see that now. He could hardly take his eyes off you all over lunch, and then later he..."

"Oh Mum, please," Hyeonji begged. "You don't have to lie. You were right the first time."

"No, darling. I wasn't. I was wrong. Very wrong. And I'm thoroughly ashamed of myself. I was feeling sorry for myself, and I was afraid. Yes, afraid." She repeated when Hyeonji's eyes widened. "Afraid some man would snap you up, looking as you do now, and I'd be left all alone in this world."

"But today opened my eyes there's Mrs Jung, a widow like myself, but she doesn't sit around feeling sorry for herself. Besides her writing, she plays golf and bingo and bridge. And she doesn't tie that boy of hers to her apron-strings, either. I can see its up to me to make something of my life for myself. I know becoming a cleaner isnt much but at least I'm good at it, and it's a start. I might even go to that hair dresser of yours with some of my cleaning money and become a blonde!"

"Oh Mum!" Hyeonji exclaimed, a burst of very real joy dragging her heart back out of the doldrums. "You've no idea how happy you made me, hearing you say that."

"Do you forgive me for saying those awful things to you, my dear? I didn't mean them, you know."

Hyeonji couldnt help but relent. "Of course, I forgive you," she said gently. "I love you Mom."

"Oh Hyeonji," her mother crude, and threw her arms around her daughter.

Unfortunately , it was not the best of time for Hyeonji to be hugged. Her mother's display of affection tipped her over the edge on which she'd been balancing for several hours., splintering the brittle control which she'd been holding in her misery. Her shoulders began to shake as sobs racked her whole body. "Oh my daughter," her mother groaned, and hugged her even more tightly. "Dont cry, darling. Please dont cry. Oh, you make me feel terrible. If only I hadn't said those awful things, you would have probably gone out with Hoseok when he asked you. It's my fault!"

"No, it isn't," Hyeonji sniffled when she at last pulled out of her mother's arms. "Hoseok only asked me out because Tinashe's trying to prove some point or other and she's refused to have anything to do with him for a month. But come next Sunday they'll be back together again, as thick as thieves. Who knows? If she plays her cards right he might even ask her to marry him."

"What rubbish!" Her mother pronounced firmly, startling Hyeonji. "Hoseok is not in love with that flashy bit of goods. No man in love with one girl looks at another girl as he looked at you today."

Hyeonji was dumbfounded. "But I...I didn't notice him looking at me in a special way..."

"Then you're as blind as he is, my girl. You made a big mistake refusing to go out with him next Saturday night. Now listen here; when he comes over to pick up those papers, you tell him you've changed your mind and you'd like to go after all."

"But...but..." Hyeonji stammered.

"NO buts. You said he's not getting back with that Tinashe till Sunday. Make the most of what time you have!" Zil pushed Hyeonji with both her arms on her waist.

"I was just going to say I don't have anything to wear," Hyeonji smiled weakly.

"Well, that's easily fixed."

"How? Hoseok's accountant can't get us anymore money immediately. And I'm not taking the cleaning money you earn, Mom. No way. One hundred dollars wouldnt be nearly enough anyway," she added with a sad sigh. "A dinner dress, complete with shoes and bag doesn't come cheap these days."

"Would five hundred dollars do?"

"Five hundred! But where?... I mean..." Hyeonji surprised at her mother.

Zil smiled her pleasure at her daughter's surprise. "You're not the only one who has rainy-day money stashed away, my girl. Come this way."

Hyeonji followed, fascinated, while her mother led her upstairs and into the master bedroom where she proceeded to lift up the mattress and draw out a battered brown paper envelope. She opened the flap and tipped the contents out onto the patchwork quilt. Notes of all sizes fluttered down, mostly fives, tens and twenties.

"I used to hide this is an empty washing powder box in the laundry when your father was alive. But now its safe enough out here. I know there's at least five hundred dollars, maybe more." She gathered the money up and pressed them into Hyeonji's hands. "I want you to buy yourself a dress which will knock Hoseok's eyes out!"

Hyeonji hated the wild rush of elation ehich flooded her heart, for she feared she was setting herself up for a disaster of monumental proportions. No matter what her mother said and no matter what dress she brought, how could she seriously compete with Tinashe? It was like comparing a nice little house wine with a top brand french champagne. Tinashe's extravagant self fizzed sparkled. She was special-occassion lady whereas she, was the common, everyday, value for money variety.

When Hoseok looked at her he only ever saw a familiar face. And everyone knew what familiarity bred. Contempt. Never chemistry.

Or was that how he'd seen her in the past? Dared she hoped that her new look had evoked a new appreciation? Hyeonji had told the truth when she'd said she hadn't notice Hoseok looking at her differently today. But after his news about Tinashe she'd been too upset to notice anything, and had avoided Hoseok's eyes as much as possible.

Could her mother's observations possibly be correct, or was she just trying to make her daughter feel better? She'd been guilty over her earlier less than generous remarks. Hyeonji didn't want to keep her hopes up. And yet, something was stirring within her soul. Something she'd never felt before. Something rather wicked.

Tinashe had called her a sly piece. Maybe she was right, Hyeonji thought with a steeling of her spirit. Because I am not going to go quietly, Tinashe, darling. Neither am I going to let you have Hoseok back without a fight. Come Saturday night, I'm going to use every female trick in the book.

The trouble was...she hadn't read that particular book yet. She would have to depend on her feminine instinct. The front doorbell ringing startled both of them. "That'll be Hoseok," Zil said urgently. "Now drop that money and go down and talk to him while I get those papers he wants. Tell him you've changed your mind about Saturday night, and ask him what time he wants you ready by. Be cool, though. Not overly eager."

Hyeonji shocked at her mother "Mum, you sneaky thing!"

"Well there is no point in being easy. Any girl who looks as good as you do can pkay a little hard to get. Besides, men never want what they think they can have, gratis. They like a bit of a challenge."

Hyeonji went down stairs shaking her head. Who would have believed that within her own shy reserved mother lurked the makings of a femme fatale? Heaven knew what would happen if the Kang widow became a blonde!

Hyeonji summoned up a pleasant smile to answer the door, resolving to watch this time for any sign that Hoseok looked at her differently in any way.

"Hello there again," she said. "Mum wont be a minute with those papers. Look, about next Saturday night Hobi, that was rude of me to dismiss your very nice invitation out of hand. I know what its like to go to these things alone..."

She didn't actually, because she's never been to an awards dinner. But Hyeonji had never lacked imagination. Just think of all those times Hosoek had made lover to her in her mind. Unfortunately, she began thinking of one those times right at this moment. It was her favorite scenario where Hoseok was concerned. He would bring her home to this door after a serious date and there would be much kissing and panting on the front porch. When she finally unlocked the door, he would push her inside, then scoop her up into his arms and carry her upstairs to her room where a three-foot bed was no barrier to true love.

Her mouth dried as she thought of their naked bodies blended tightly, writhing together. Her brown eyes glittered as they began unconsciously to rove over the object of her desire. Before they reach his waist, Hyeonji swallowed then cleared her throat. "Er...could I possibly change my mind and say yes?"

He stiffened. He actually stiffened. Why?

"Is there a problem with that?" She asked airily, even while her heart was thudding. He stood there frowning at her. The atmosphere on that doorstep was suddenly charged with a quite alien tension. Hyeonji didnt know what to make of it except that she found herself holding her breath.

"Hobi?" She choked out.

He seemed to have to shake himself to answer her. "No." He muttered. "No problem. I'll look forward to it."

Hyeonji had to be careful not to let all her breath out of her lungs in a rush. "Fine," she said with a small smile. "Well, where is this dinner and what time should I be ready?"

"Its being held down at the League's Club, in the Admiral's Quarters. The dinner starts at eight. Pre-drinks at seven thirty. I'll pick you up at...say...seven?"

Hyeonji nodded "I'll be ready. And thanks again for helping us with the finance business."

"My pleasure." He answered.

But it didn't look as if it was his pleasure. Not at all. He hadn't smiled once since she'd opened the door. Hyeonji could not make head or tail of his mood, except that it was obvious he had mixed feelings about taking her to that dinner.

She prayed his reluctance was because he'd begun to feel things for her which he found confusing, and not because Tinashe might get jealous if she ever found out. Her mother's arrival at that point steered the conversation to a less stressful grounds. Hoseok left a couple of minutes later and as Zil closed the front door she threw Hyeonji a questioning glance. "Well? What happened? You both seemed tense when I came down."

Hyeonji shrugged. "I don't really know. I told him I changed my mind about the dinner, and he agreed to take me, but not with great enthusiasm. To be honest, I think it worried the heck out of him."

"Well that's better than indifference, Hyeonji."

Nodding her head Hyeonji agreed "That's what I was thinking."

Zil patted her daughter's back "Only time will tell."

Chapter 08

Masterlist

#BTS #BANGTANSONYEONDAN #BTSJHOPE #JHOPE #HOBI #JUNGHOSEOK #JUNGJOSEOKXREADER #BTSFANFIC #BTSROMANTICFANFIC #MAKEOVER

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cpatriciaisabeld · 4 years

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Joining Exceptionelle was my first pageant ever and I can't help but be emotional because I never thought I could make it the way I did. I think I even exceeded my own expectations for myself. Joining pageants was never my thing. I always come up to stage to sing, to perform, but never to ramp nor to share an advocacy. I'm not even fond of wearing heels. I didn't know how to walk nicely or to pose nicely. To sum it up, I have zero knowledge and experience with regards to these things.

At some point back then, I know in the silence of my heart that I wanted to join these things too. But I never said it out loud. I was never that confident back then to step outside of my box so I never tried even if there were opportunities intended for me. I always pray and thought about it, but I always said no because I think I'm not yet ready. I don't commit myself to responsibilities when I know I can't give my all into it.

Days before the pageant, doubts never left my mind but I always fought against it. I always go back and think about who I am and what I can do, what do I believe in, why am I doing this, and for whom I am doing this.

And now, this happened. God's plan and timing was just right. I prayed to God and I even talked to my mom. Ang sabi ko, whatever happens I'll do my best and I pray na sana lahat ng prinepare ko for this event ay maexecute ko ng tama. Sana hindi ako madapa. Sana makasagot ako ng maayos. Sana maituwid ng maayos 'to. Ang pinakaunang pumasok sa isip ko nung nanalo ako ay si God. Alam kong siya yun eh. Alam kong matagal akong naghintay ng sagot sa dasal na tahimik na nandun lang sa puso ko. God really makes all things beautiful in His timing.

I never joined pageants until today because it was never my thing. But I tell you, my greatest win in this event is the experience and the journey. I see myself grow, I see myself explore and discover more about me. And self discovery won't happen if you stay inside your box forever. At some point in your life, try things you have never done before and you'll see how much you are capable of and how strong you are. You'll know more about you. Life begins when you let no fear limit you from achieving greatness and reaching your fullest potential.

You are limitless. You perfectly shine the way you are. You are stronger than everything that is holding you back from being you.

Before I end this, I want to thank the following people:

To the UST Junior Marketing Association for giving us this opportunity not only for me to get outside of my box, but also as a platform to voice out our advocacies.

To my ever supportive orgmates, I never thought you'd support me this much. From the "good luck" messages, to helping me with dancing because I can't, to sharing my photo for the liking contest, to cheering for me while on stage, and for always reminding me na kaya ko 'to. Thank you. You guys are the best. (Di na ako magnname drop kasi baka mamaya may magtampo but you guys know who you are and I am beyond grateful for you)

To Marra Angelique who did my hair and make up during the photoshoot, edited my advocacy video, taught me how to strike a pose, asked me questions in order for me to practice the Q&A, shared my photo to her friends so that I'll win the Marketista's Choice Award. Thank you bb. You were always there to attend to my needs and to listen to me when I feel lost and unmotivated about everything I do. I will always value and treasure you from the bottom of my heart.

To Paloma Marie, my bestfriend, na nagcut ng class to watch me huhu. Nagulat ako when my mom said you were there kasi sabi mo nung morning na you wouldn't come. Thank you for always being there to support me. Thank you for coming out of your way just to be there and witness my growth. Of all people, you know how this moment really mattered to me and I really wanna share this one with you. Thank you.

To Alexandra my makeup artist from ustshs, like me, it was also a first for her to do somebody else's make up. Thank you for accepting to do my make up even with just a short notice. Sana gawin mo na 'tong legit na business kasi girl your make up is amazing talaga! Thank you also for our small chats while doing my make up. I indeed enjoyed your company.

To Sir Jemil na hmua ni Tin, my co-candidate. Thank you so much for doing my hair kahit di mo na po yun obligasyon. I look lovely that day because of you.

To Tito Farley for my Filipiñana, thank you so much po for your wonderful creation.

To my mom na SUPER SUPPORTIVE. Thank you mom and I love you. Thank you for listening to me everytime, for helping me with literally EVERYTHING. For coming to UST to watch me that day. I always appreciate your efforts for me and I am beyond blessed to have you as my mom. I hope I made you proud and happy.

To my dad na humabol sa awarding dahil galing work, thank you daddy! I hope you are proud and happy for me. I love you always.

To my ever supportive sisters who helped me with the pa-like contest to taking videos and photos of me during that night, thank you. You keep me going.

To myself, thank you for saying yes to this one. Thank you for deviating your own norm and stepping outside of your comfort zone. Thank you for not letting fear win against you this time. I barely say this but I AM PROUD OF YOU AND YOU ARE AMAZING. Thank you for trying. There is, and will always be, no harm in trying.

To God, who answered my prayers for 2019. God, you are amazing. You have made me ready and prepared for things I have prayed for. You have given me oppportunities to develop and know more about myself. Thank you for always reminding me that I shouldn't fear nor worry, because You have great plans for me in Your perfect timing. Cheers to all the "yes, no, and not now" answers to my prayers. I know and I believe that You'll make things wonderful for me.

Special thanks also to my co-candidates (Kian, Pierre, Kobe, Tin, and Jas), kay kuyang angkas driver na tumulong sa pagpapalike ko, kay Kuyang tiga IT na nakilala ko lang sa kanto ng Antonio pero nagshow ng support, at sa lahat ng sumuporta sa akin from pa-like to the day itself. You guys know who you are. Thank you.

To the ones who never doubted I could make it, thank you. Your support always have kept me motivated.

Patricia Isabel Cayabyab

✨ Best in Uniform ✨

✨ Ms. Photogenic ✨

✨ Marketista's Choice Award ✨

✨ Marketing Ambassadress 2019 ✨

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niallandtommo · 3 years

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Hi, Stef! I'm you anon from Mexico, hope you remember me. I kinda always come to you whenever I'm feeling anxious because I dont have that many friends. Anyway, tonight is specially bad, because I just found out that someone I used to be really close with has Covid and she's not the only one, lately a lot more people I know have been confirmed... And idk how to deal with the anxiety. Like me and my family take all the precautions but we still have to go to work and be around people, so that's still high risk. Every day, before I open my eyes I do a check list of the possible symptoms, like I check if my head or my throat hurts, if my smell is okay.... And idk, it's all too much and I feel particularly upset today, so I'm sorry for ranting in your inbox. I just needed to let it out.

hey!! of course i remember you :) you can always come to me if you wanna talk about something!!!

i’m sorry that last night was so bad for you. i wish i could help you somehow. i’m glad you’re taking all the precautions, i really think that’s the best thing you could do.

idk if it helps but i just wanna tell you that you’re not alone. i started my new job in october and my anxiety is so so bad at the moment. i don’t wanna make this about me but maybe it helps to know that other people feel the same. that’s what helps me because sometimes it feels like i’m the only who has such an intense reaction to this.

something that really helps me is talking about it. i never really talked about my feelings before but i’ve been talking to my mom and even my friends about this. my problem is, when i have an anxiety attack, i’m not being very rational. i only focus on the negative stuff and i think about all the worst case scenarios. and when i talk about it with my mom for example, she reminds me of all the good things that are happening. she tells me that we can get through this together and she reminds me that there is a light at the end of the tunnel even if i can’t see it right now. is there anyone you could talk tou? you can even come to me (on or off anon) and we can talk about it if it helps!

also i’m trying to distract myself as much as i can. whenever it feels like my anxiety is getting worse i try to do something else. just yesterday, i knew that i was about to have an anxiety attack so i just got up, put on some music and started dancing like an idiot and my mood changed instantly. i also like to spend a lot of time with my family to distract myself. we play board games or we just go for a walk or whatever.

i also started something new yesterday. i decided to write down at least one positive thing every day. it doesn’t matter what it is but i truly believe that there’s always something positive, even on the darkest days. it can be a small and insignificant thing or something huge. yesterday i just wrote down that i’m healthy and my family is healthy and maybe i’m gonna write that down every day because i’m so grateful for every day that we get to spend together. my brain always focuses on the negative things and i wanna change that. i wanna try to think about the small things that make every day a little better, even if that thing is just being alive.

i know it’s a lot at the moment and i really wish i could help you somehow. all i can do is tell you that you’re not alone and i’m always here if you wanna talk. not to quote high school musical but we’re all in this together and we can do this. we need to remember that we’re not alone. i really hope you’ll feel better soon, at least a little bit. and you know where to find me if you wanna talk. doesn’t even matter about what. i’m sending you lots of love and a warm corona free hug!! stay strong <3

#Anonymous

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garden-of-succulents · 7 years

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Wait, so you don't have BPD but you want to write parse with bpd as your representation? How does that work? I'm really sorry, I like your Parse stories and read them and I don't mean to say that you shouldn't write them, but I don't understand where you're coming from on this. Is it really that difficult to identify with any of the characters of color on the same level?

I’ll answer your questions backwards so the long personal story can go under a readmore:

“Is it really that difficult to identify with any of the characters of color on the same level?“

That’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot over the last few weeks. Like, mental health is my wheelhouse, that’s a huge thing I write about; what about writing mentally ill characters of colour? I can do it pretty easily with my OCs (cf. Luis and Maida) but feeling my way into mental health themes with canon characters of colour is more difficult while Kent and Jack are kind of like... low-hanging fruit, for me.

It’s why I’ve started bugging @abominableobriens with thoughts about BPD Nursey, gone back to trying to work my way into Ransom’s anxiety (I can’t find the post where I talk about where I was with this a couple months ago). It’s not a smooth process, though--I’m flopping around being like “but how do I respect Ransom’s personality and preferences but get him some TREATMENT and REST” and “Okay but I haaate conflict-laden relationships and Nursey and Dex’s canon relationship is so full of sniping, how do I write Nursey without Dex?” and that’s the kind of flailing and experimentation I have to do internally or talking to a few people. Mostly the for-public-consumption stuff that’s come out of that process so far has been fluffy romantic headcanons.

So we’ll see how that goes. It’s partly that positive depictions of BPD/the kind of complex trauma I’m interested in are really rare. Before OMGCP, I spent most of my time writing straight-up OCs in fandom contexts because I couldn’t find what I wanted in the source material. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Oookay, and now for the long bit: Why I care really personally about representations of BPD even though I don’t have it myself.

So basically, I’ve been depressed/mentally ill since elementary school, but growing up I kind of internalized the idea that letting my family know I was suffering would be so awful and unbearable for them that I could NOT do it. So I hated myself and I was miserable and was convinced that I couldn’t tell any adults about it. The big lifeline for me were young adult problem novels--books about teens in treatment programs for eating disorders or self-injury or, heck, kidney disease or parapalegia--I never saw myself in the symptoms, precisely, which was confusing, but I did see myself in the emotional experience of overwhelming pain, and I was captivated by the idea that feeling so awful all the time wasn’t normal, it was a disease; and a disease that could be treated. There were people who could help me be Not-That--but I couldn’t ask my parents to see a therapist, since that would be too awful for them, so I tried to soak up what knowledge I could through those books (or the nonfiction books that were available to me). The books... were very bland, whitewashed, rendered down to be acceptable; the girls were very soft, very fragile, would never hurt a fly (except themselves). I kind of internalized that as what a Good Mentally Ill Person should look like, and didn’t realize there was any other sort of mental illness.

In junior high school I started being able to articulate this depression to other kids and started making friends, online and in real life, who were also mentally ill like me. We could talk together about feeling worthless and unlovable, and participate in a conspiracy of silence Not To Let The Adults Know.

I’m struggling to explain this and keep my narrative somehow concise, not an essay about my entire childhood--long story short, I’m not Borderline; I was a lot more emotionally stable, even if my stability was in absolute fucking misery. I could take an emotion like a punch to the gut and sit with it, when a lot of my friends would have to get it out somehow--it drove them to do crazy and self-destructive things. (As an adult I know this difference is a lot about genetics and our lives before the age of three.) And also, long story short, I learned that one way to make people like me was to pay attention to them and take care of them. I nurtured out of self-defense and because it was the only way I knew how to socialize. So I was the person all my friends told about their problems.

And I thought they were like me, that we had the same problems, the same illness? I tried to take what I learned from books and apply it, which was all about being patient and giving and empathetic and loyal and A Good Friend. I thought friendship could cure anything. No matter what anybody did to me, I was totally disconnected from my anger and self-protective instincts; I thought I had to be a sponge, soaking up all their bad emotions and loving them no matter what.

So I was totally unprepared for them to split on me. I didn’t know anything about the idealization/devaluation cycle.

Splitting is... so, Borderline Personality Disorder is basically an inability to self-regulate, to integrate, to tolerate ambiguity. Either the person with it is an amazing perfect god, or a destructive piece of shit. Either their friend is a wonderful loving angel, or an evil demon who hates them and wants them to suffer. And this is an opinion that can flip on a dime, depending on how the person feels in that moment. So like--

I was maybe 16 or 17, and made a friend through a speech and debate club I was part of. From out of nowhere she liked me, thought I was pretty and smart and special. I stayed up until 3am one weekend and talked with her; we shared our hopes, our dreams, our favourite books. She sang a Scottish ballad that she said reminded her of me (”black is the colour of my true love’s hair”). The next time we met she gave me a little teddy bear with a hand-written note about what a good friend I was.

Then in the club, it was my job to make sure everyone got to meetings on time and was properly dressed and everything, and someone pointed out to me that my friend was wearing a skirt that was way shorter than dress guidelines allowed for. I had to go tell her that she was supposed to change and said, squirmingly uncomfortable, “People have talked to me...” She stalked off.

That night was a ceremony where people who aged out of the group got to talk a little bit about what the group meant to them, and say goodbye to people, and play or sing a song. Her turn came, and she announced that our entire group was full of fake, awful, petty monsters, two-faced liars, almost as hurtful, hateful, and abusive as her foster parents. The song she played was “Just Like You” by Three Days Grace. I sobbed the entire time and tried to apologize to her, but it didn’t work.

About a month later, she emailed someone in the group to say she’d been angry and hadn’t meant it, and she was sorry for ruining the ceremony.

That kind of thing happened to me with... maybe five or six different people, to greater or lesser degrees, from the time I was 12 to the time I was 20, which is when I finally got a handle on what was going on and how to predict it and keep it from happening. Friendships where everything was fine, wonderful, great thanks, how are you, fine, wonderf--KABOOM YOU’RE A FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT LIS YOU ABUSER (oh wait sorry i didn’t mean it where are you going).

It took a lot of work to learn that I had to get my sense of self from something other than helping other people, to look after my own needs as well as other peoples’, to learn (GASP) to accept and even ask for help. A lot of things changed when my mom told us, when I was 15, that she was depressed and going into therapy, because that meant we were allowed to do these things in our family. I immediately blurted out, “Can I see a therapist too?” So I got more centred in myself, and also finally figured out what was going on with my friends, and got better at maintaining friendships with people with BPD that did not explode, at making friendships that were not based around me being a pseudo-therapist, and at getting my helping-people jonesing out with actual paid work.

So you might notice that a lot of my fics about Kent and BPD aren’t actually from Kent’s perspective or about him--they’re about people trying to live with him. Hurricane or Campsites are stories about people who know what to expect, who have some understanding of what he’s like and how to keep themselves safe. They can find ways to love him for his good parts without letting his bad parts hurt them, can love him without letting themselves be sucked in by the extreme warmth of his regard, can maintain their own boundaries and make their own decisions.

(To be honest, I was initially really amazed to find that people with BPD appreciate my fics or me talking about the subject? Because I am an outsider, because I am writing from this perspective--a medical perspective, no less! The voice of the Establishment! But a lot of people have been really receptive to my POV--which might just be, again, the paucity of positive representations at all.)

I didn’t really think about it this way until I got this ask and started trying to explain it, but... I’m trying to write the kind of story I could have used when I was a kid.

(So then you ask, Lis, you’re still writing about other people, about meeting other peoples’ needs--when are you going to write about children like you were, about experiences like yours? When are you going to tell your own story? and then I change the topic and sidle awkwardly out of the room. I’m not ready for that yet.)

#stuff i wrote #kent parson discourse #race in fandom discourse #mental health #bpd kent parson #bpd nursey #Anonymous

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captainswanmama · 7 years

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I saw your recent post about speculation and If you don't mind i just needed to get some stuff out. I'm so scared of what's going to happen with it all and i keep trying to tell myself to relax and wait for an annoucement, and i really am trying so hard. But i'm so anxious and i keep feeling sick thinking about it, and i've tried talking to family but they just tell me to get over it. I come on here and see everyone getting annoyed w/ people like me and i feel so lonely i just want it to stop :(

First I should probably say, I may be the worst person for you to have come to. I have absolutely no inside information to reassure you. And I am admittedly more removed from the show emotionally than most so it's hard for me to empathize. But I can sympathize a little because I sort of remember getting very stressed out about TV shows in my younger years. You know, before I got married and had four kids and had to deal with RL stress. What I can say is what my mom told me when my first marriage was falling apart. She asked me "what is the worst thing that could happen?" And I replied "he could leave me." And she reminded me that I still had my health, my daughter and a good job and that is all that matters. Aside from the fact that it alleviated my fears of disappointing my parents by failing at marriage, it helped me to focus on what I do have rather than what I may lose. So focus on all the good stuff you do have. If you want to keep it in the TV realm instead of real life, okay. Look at what is coming up...we know CS is getting engaged and we know THEY ARE GETTING MARRIED IN THE VERY SPECIAL NEVER-BEEN-DONE-ON-OUAT MUSICAL EPISODE. Now if by some remote chance it all goes to pot and the series ends in tragedy then just ignore it and pretend the season ended on 6x20 and go find another show to obsess over. This is sort of what I did with Downton Abbey. I watched the whole series but when I go back for a rewatch I stop it after the scene with Matthew and Mary and little George in the hospital. I don't know if I helped but if not I guess I know an anon who will not be coming to my inbox again. But I do hope I helped. I don't think the makers of this show want their audience getting physically ill over their creation.

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amerraka · 7 years

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Jerry’s last letter

Dear Mom and Dad,

and Jana and Jason,

I need to tell you about what happened here in Vietnam. In my other letters, I glossed over details because, Dad, you know war and so I don't have to tell you what it's like, and Mom, I didn't want to worry you. Jana and Jason, I hope you never have to know what war is like.

But I can't deny the truth of what happened over here, the pain and the glory of it.

You hear stories about Vietnam before you leave, that lot of people give into evil. You have to kill to survive, that's one thing. But the things people let themselves do…become no better than the enemy they're fighting. They let the war cloud their minds, muddy their morals. I was self-righteous about this at first. I would never fall.

Oh how wrong I was.

I hesitate to tell you. Especially you, Jason, who looked up to me so much. I wish you could keep this heroic image of me, but that would be selfish.

The truth is, I gave into evil. I was proud, to start with. It blinded me to the fact that deep down I'm no different than anyone else and it's only by the saving grace of Jesus Christ that I have anything salvageable inside me.

It's not like I did it myself; I just let it happen. But that doesn't justify it. Fear is no excuse either. It can't be, here. Especially when you're an officer; you're responsible for the men under you.

The other thing I'm hesitant to tell you about is top secret. And it involves someone else and her safety. But with the uncertainty over here—when the war will end, overall or just for me—it's worth the risk so you can help her in case I'm….not around anymore.

We trudged through the mud, sheets of rain pouring down, soaking us. The gray sky pierced by green knives of grass, slashing our arms as we searched for the enemy. We hadn't had any action for days and some of my men were itching for a fight, just to break up the gray sloshing mud with bright flowers of fire.

This kid, Jenkins, had glasses and that made it so he could see even less than the rest of us in the rain. Barely 18, smaller than most, the guys all teased him but he took it well and so they were good-natured about it. He was kinda like our mascot. We thought he had a charmed life; he once stepped on a mine and it didn't go off, some of the men thought he was lucky and even that we were an invincible unit.

We were checking out a weapons cache when some VC ambushed us. Shattered Benny's leg, that's my sarge. Good man. I dragged him to safety and fired back—we were surrounded on this little island in the swamp, just a raised bit of land, not much cover, so we were sitting ducks. I had to get my men out of there. I ordered some men to make a feint to the left, others to cover our rear as we retreated into the swamp. But they caught us as we came down, popped up right out of the gray water and shot some point-blank. I fought hand-to-hand with one—he stabbed me in the thigh and blood swirled into the water like red ink. Somehow we fought them off but by that time they'd killed five of us and Jenkins was lying face down, so much blood in the water around him we knew he was gone.

A chopper flew us back to base for R and R and to take care of the dead. Rally, one of my squad leaders, wanted to go right back out and find those VC—he didn't use that term—and kill them. Something in him snapped that day. I should've seen it but we were all grieving. We were a tight-knit unit, even more than most, I thought, and to lose Jenkins and four other good men…it hit us hard. But we forged on. I had to get a new platoon sergeant temporarily so I promoted Rally to the acting position.

About a month later, early August, we captured some VC. My men and I secured the village while Rally began the interrogation of the prisoners, two men and a woman, in a vacant shed. While I was occupied, the prisoners attempted to escape and Rally shot them. That was his story. I have no doubt they were trying to escape, but they were shot in the back, which wasn't really necessary as they were bound and couldn't have gotten far. When I returned, one man had died and Rally was beating the other man's face in. He was incoherent and useless as an intel source. Jackson offered to "put him out of his misery"; I held him back and had the medic take care of him.

Only the woman was left to interrogate. I let Rally be the bad cop and threaten to kill her family, but I didn't let him lay a hand on her. She taunted us, told us we were dead men like the buddies we'd lost. Rally swung a fist toward her; I shoved him out of the way and had a nice, civil talk with her. She seemed to thaw a little; I saw some of the fear in her eyes beneath the bravado, and we even shared a little about our families. She gave me a nom de guerre: Ana.

Just when I thought we were ready for a breakthrough, some of her comrades attacked and we had to fend them off. Once I got back to the shed, I found Rally had continued the interrogation by breaking one of her fingers. I tried to stop him but Jackson held me back. "She's close to cracking," he said. "You step in, she'll clam up again. He's already got some good stuff, sir. Just a little more. Otherwise this is all in vain."

"This is not who we are. We're Americans—this is what they do."

"I know. I know, sir. You've kept us on the good path. But just this once, look away. For the ones we lost. For the ones we can save."

I left the building, patrolled the perimeter. But no matter where I went, I could still hear Ana's screams.

When I got back it was like a slaughterhouse. Rally was covered in blood; Ana (I must use her name—to do otherwise would dehumanize her) was unconscious. He'd broken each of her fingers and carved the names of our fallen into her chest. I tried not to look at her directly, as if that would absolve me of guilt, as if she was just a "target" and not a human being.

"We got the intel," said Rally, beaming like he'd won a medal of honor.

I treated it like just another operation. She was just another casualty of war, an enemy at that. We'd done our job; it was a successful mission. We could be proud of ourselves.

We left her there; I'm not sure if she lived or died. I didn't feel guilty at first; I didn't feel anything but the need to keep my men safe. Until we stopped to rest, and she began to haunt me. Even if it was Rally who had gotten out of hand, I was responsible for my men's actions. I'd allowed it. It was the same as if I'd carved those names into her chest. Hadn't I wanted revenge too? How could I possibly delude myself I was any different, any better?

Still, I had to do my job, and I began to gain attention as a good leader from my CO. He told a CIA officer about me, and that officer contacted me for a special mission. Inside enemy territory.

We'd really only be glorified couriers; we were to deliver some new equipment to a northern spy. The CIA officer told me that he suspected a mole in his network; every agent he'd sent north had been killed or captured, the expensive equipment confiscated. We had a reputation of getting things done. He commended us for the intel we'd gotten from Ana; his agents had made good use of it. We'd take a different route than the others to throw the VC off track, but we should be under no illusions that this would be an easy or safe mission. He'd only take volunteers.

I took a small group of 10 men and we went north. We'd just dropped off the package when we were ambushed. Two men were shot; I covered the others so they could get away. I emptied my ammo and then fought with my knife—I'd rather be killed than captured—but they stabbed my leg and I went down. Blows rained from all directions until a rifle hit my head and I blacked out.

I came to in a cell at a VC base camp. My body ached; I could barely move. A man dragged me to the interrogation room and the fun began.

My interrogator was the man we'd thought was our agent. He'd been fooling the Americans for years, feeding them false intel, getting their agents captured. I was no different; he'd extract the info he needed then kill me.

He asked me about my mission for the CIA. I couldn't tell him any more than he already knew. So he hit me. He asked about troop movements and supply routes; I wouldn't tell him anything. So he hit me again. He wasn't especially creative even though he always bragged about his abilities. I think he confused enjoyment for expertise. Plus he had a big head from fooling the Americans. He was probably a good spy, but not a very good interrogator. I called him Hack.

Still, he began to wear me down, especially if the sessions ended with him hitting me so hard I blacked out. I probably had multiple concussions, and my wounds were left untreated and infected. One of his COs sat in on an interrogation and I was apparently so incoherent and delirious he ordered a medic to take care of me.

I don't remember much after that; it was probably days before I was fully conscious again. It was like heaven; my head was clear and I barely ached. Someone came in with food.

No, not just someone. The most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. Silky hair that fell like a sheet of black water. Intense brown eyes in a perfect oval face. For a moment I thought she was an angel, especially since I felt no pain and pain had become part of my existence. She also reminded me of Ana…guilt struck my heart.

She handed me the tray of food and then left. When she came back, she aimed her gun at me and told me to follow. I was back in the interrogation room, but this time Hack was gone, replaced by another man. He spoke no English so he needed the girl, Ai, to translate. I knew basic Vietnamese but no complex words or sentences.

His interrogation was perfunctory and he rarely used physical force. It was a welcome reprieve. Plus I got to be in the same room with Ai, who looked at me with disdain as she translated.

This guy didn't get anything out of me either, so they got some sort of specialist to have a go at me. He was good. Big, brutal, but he knew how to inflict maximum pain with minimum damage. Ai translated for him as well.

One day he had me on the floor, just screaming and sobbing with pain, like I was on fire. Ai threatened to stop translating unless he stopped hurting me so badly; he grabbed her and asked what side she was on. She said she just couldn't stomach this; he said if she was weak she didn't belong in the VC and began choking her.

First I noticed the absence of pain, then I noticed frantic, strangled cries. I looked up to see Ai kicking at him as he held her in the air by her throat.

I asked God to help me because I knew I couldn't move on my own. I couldn't redeem myself for what I'd done to Ana but I could help Ai.

I struggled to my feet and stood, shaking. Somehow I managed to say, "Stop!"

Anger crossed his face. He dropped Ai to the floor and turned on me. Gave me a good old fashioned beating till I blacked out.

When I came to, Ai was shaking me. It was dark. She told me that they would kill me since I had outlived my usefulness. She led me down the hallway and opened the door to the back, where there was a running vehicle. "Thank you. For what you did for me," she said.

"Thank you for helping me, Ai. I wish—"

"Go! I can't let them catch me." She darted back inside.

Somehow I got down the road a bit before anyone saw me. I had to ditch the vehicle and run into the jungle. Survived for days, dodging patrols, eating bugs, till I ran into an American squad and they had me choppered back to base.

Everyone had thought I was dead; they had a big party for me. I recuperated and then went back to leading my platoon. Everything went back to normal. Vietnam-normal, anyway.

Until one day I saw Ai on base, delivering supplies to the soldiers. She drove out before I could catch her.

My men and I were hanging around base for a little while, so I saw her when she returned later that week. I caught up to her this time. She took me aside and told me that she was supposed to be an agent for the VC, but she was really working for the Americans. She had been with the communists when I'd been captured but she wasn't a die-hard party member or anything. All she wanted was for the war to end and for her country to be at peace. She thought the VC would do that. But I'd changed her view of what Americans were at the same time she'd seen the brutality of the VC. She didn't want to be complicit in that so she agreed to help us, in part to bring democracy and peace to her country, in part to make up for what she did.

I then told her my own struggle—my own complicity. Hurting a young woman like her. I expected her to leave in disgust. But she forgave me. I felt a dark burden lift from my heart. It wasn't totally gone—it never will be. But what she did freed me, more so than when she'd let me out of the enemy camp.

Whenever she was on base, I found time to be with her. We began hanging out together. Eating at mess together. The boys began to make fun of me. I knew I should be careful; I didn't want to blow her cover. Spending too much time with any one American without intel from him would be suspicious to her handlers. So we did things in secret. Had picnics out on this grassy hill with beautiful red flowers. I gave her presents. I felt she deserved the world.

Then I got orders to move out. We'd be deep in the jungle for weeks, perhaps months. My heart felt like it was imploding. I couldn't be without her. I wished I could just take her and run away from the war and just live with her in peace.

But I decided to do something a little less drastic. When we were out on a picnic, I asked her—Dad, Mom, can you believe this?—to marry me.

And even more wonderful and crazy—she said yes!

Two days ago, we were married on our hill under the moonlight. She had a red flower in her hair. She was so beautiful! We sealed it with a glorious kiss and then…well, I'll leave it at that.

We had two frantic days together, stolen kisses in the hallway, nights in a little abandoned hut covered in vines. Today I have to move out, leave her to the lonely life of a spy. How I can leave her without my heart breaking I don't know. I'm sending this letter so you know the worst and the best of me, and so that you know to take care of her in case I don't come back. Only the chaplain and the witness know about our marriage.

She's leaning over my shoulder as I write this in our little 'cabin', as I call it. Kissing me. Now she's saying that she wants to say hi to you and she can't wait to meet you. That she won't let me leave and if I do she'll drag me back….Oh I do love her, I can't tell you how much, my heart's bursting and I—

I miss you. I've got a long tour left but when I come home, I'll bring a beautiful bride with me.

And, just in case,

Goodbye. (I'll see you in heaven, anyway!)

Love,

Jerry (and Ai) Whittaker

from

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11780634/13/Generation

#adventures in odyssey #fanfiction #writing #jerry whittaker #ai #to #Jason whittaker #whit #vietnam #war #oh and there's more #I have to write it #write everything #but you have no idea #...

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lumoshyperion · 3 years

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This will be a bit long but I wanted to say I agree with you about Scorpius and how his growth and bravery is integral to his character. If I'm being honest I'm not a fan of people writing Scorpius as a still nervous kid who is still so unsure of himself after the events of CC, which unfortunately a lot of people do. But the Scorpius at the end is not the same Scorpius who we first see on the train. That Scorpius is so unsure of himself and of the world but there's also this self-confidence about him and a determination. But this is a boy who has been very much sheltered from the world and hasn't really seen anybody outside of his family so he's awkward and has terrible social skills. Everything he has learned about friendships have come from books until he meets Albus. And even in school he's still kind of sheltered in the little world he and Albus has created due to being bullied. But then the whole adventure with saving Cedric happens and for the first time in his life he's been put in situations that really show the type of character Scorpius is. We see this in the MoM when he's left to solve the riddle, when he stands up to Albus, when he bravely fights to save the world from the dark au, when he fends of the dementors with happy thoughts of Albus, when he stands up to Delphi even when she uses the torture curse and when he bravely stands up to Delphi again with everyone else. Scorpius has found out that he's a lot more braver than he or even Draco thought he was and this has given him a lot more confidence but I think more than that I think when you've faced your worst nightmare head on and already won, there's hardly anything that scares you anymore. Scorpius in the end is brave but not reckless type of brave but a quiet brave who will always try and do what's right. I think this is also the same bravery Albus has. Scorpius is confident but not an arrogant type of confidence but a confidence that is more sure of himself and in his own skills and a confidence that he will be himself no matter what. Scorpius has an inner strength to him that neither Draco nor Lucius had. Scorpius very much reminds me of Neville in how much they both grow from two 11 year old who aren't sure of themselves to being two of the some of the most bravest characters in the HPU. Scorpius also reminds me of Luna and Hermione as well. Ah that was a really long ask but I really love Scorpius growth and it's sad that a lot of writers sometimes don't translate that to their own writing.

This is one of the BEST ASKS I have EVER RECEIVED, oh my god, I would like to be friends immediately. Thank you for sending this - you've gone into such incredible detail here and I value that SO MUCH sakljflksj icon behaviour.

I'd like to preface my reply by saying that of course neither of us are saying that people can't write or view Scorpius the way they have been. It's a script that billions of people have read, and it's a play that was being performed across multiple cities with numerous different actors playing the role. Naturally there's going to be different interpretations of it, and that's okay! We're all carrying our own baggage that we bring to the fiction we read and watch. We all respond differently, and that's beautiful - that's the human condition.

I saw a play recently that I've seen done before by lots of other companies over the years, and I didn't really understand how one of the characters was performed. But my friend who also saw the play singled out that actor's performance and explained in detail why it spoke to him, personally. This is the beauty of storytelling and of theatre in particular. It's so personal! A play that you see now, in this moment, won't be the same when you return to it years later. Scripts are revisited over and over, and what a director and an actor saw in it in 2019 will be wholly different to what they see in it now. People change and grow, and what matters to us now might not matter to us in three, six, ten years time?

But, going off on that, isn't Scorpius capable of change, too? Isn't Albus? They go through so much in the play - more than most of us will ever go through in our lifetimes - and wouldn't it be reductive or worrying if they went through all that and stayed exactly the same? The word I see associated so often with Scorpius is “soft”. And there’s nothing wrong with that word, but it has connotations of being childish or fragile. Of needing to be looked after. And it’s true that Scorpius is compassionate and kind. He’s a good person, he’s patient and loyal and when he loves, he loves fiercely. And it is true that he was, as you’ve said, a sheltered kid. In Edge of the Forest, as they look up at the school, Scorpius explains how he saw Hogwarts as this special, faraway place. And how he always dreamed that one day he’d go there and he’d have a friend who was just like Harry Potter. Albus closes up when he hears this, protesting that he’s nothing like his dad. And Scorpius tells him, “No, you’re better. You’re my best friend, Albus.”

And I think that’s such a perfect, underrated moment between them? Scorpius used to have such specific ideals and dreams about going to Hogwarts. And instead of letting the bullying and the rumours destroy those dreams, he changes them. He finds joy in other places. I think people forget that there’s different kinds of bravery. And even before the misadventure with Albus, Scorpius is already being brave. Not many people can still be optimistic and kind through the sort of hardships Scorpius went through. Your ask made me think of something Nyx Calder (the Australian production’s Scorpius) said last year when asked what they learned from Scorpius:

“Bravery is not a single act of heroism, and neither is it being fearless at all times; bravery is a daily dedication to being someone you can be proud of, and in the process, the ones who you love and who love you will be proud of you too.”

And you’re right, anon, it is sad when people ignore Scorpius’s bravery and growth throughout the play. Bravery isn’t just the sort of reckless bravery and heroism that we associate with Gryffindors like Harry and his friends. Bravery is standing up for your friends. Bravery is using the love and innate joy you carry with you, to fight off the dementors. Bravery is doing what is right, not what is easy. Bravery is knowing what kind of world Delphi wants, knowing that there’s little you can do to fight her, and yet still openly laying down your life if it will stop her. Bravery is going through what Scorpius did in the Dark AU, and using those experiences to learn something about himself. To realise that he is capable of bravery, after all. It’s such a beautiful arc. And it is sad to see it ignored. It is sad to see that growth and strength of character left out completely, in favour of a more anxious and childish Scorpius who never learned any of those lessons.

I think there's just a temptation to view favourite characters, particularly comfort characters, the way Scorpius is viewed. I know I've done this in the past - to the point where I was ignoring canon in order to project a lot of myself and my insecurities onto a character. So I understand where this trope has come from and I know it's not done consciously or maliciously. It's just become a very real pattern within fandom, and it only happens to characters like Scorpius, characters from mlm ships who present a certain way, and - that's where I start to find it worrying? It strips those characters of a lot of their nuance in order to present them in a way that makes the reader want to take care of this character. It takes away a lot of the bravery, strength, and confidence Scorpius gains over the course of the play and reduces him to someone who is wholly reliant on Albus and who needs to be looked after/coddled by everyone around him.

I think I’ve gone on for a bit too long, so I’ll stop here, but thank you again for this incredibly insightful ask! Much love x

ask me things about year two, year three, and other things!

#Cursed Child #ccsquad #Scorpius Malfoy #Ask

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