#i needed to wrap up this subplot and also this is a nice ending i think thematically to this arc

[holocene-sims]

next // previous

october 3, 2021 2:00 p.m. morensong coffee house

[grant] thank you for meeting me so last minute.

[cerise] yeah, it’s no problem! actually, i'm glad we could do this sooner rather than later. this has been at the back of my mind for a while–the curiosity has–so when you texted me yesterday, i was, like, i need to know. i may be going out of town for a week, but i'll try to make room in the schedule for this before i leave.

[grant] are you traveling anywhere exciting?

[cerise] iceland. it’s a big family trip to celebrate my parents’ 20th anniversary. as in, my mom and my stepdad’s anniversary. i mean, he’s my real dad as far as i'm concerned, but technically my stepdad. i think you get what i mean, i don’t know why i'm over-explaining.

[grant] wow, that is exciting. well, i hope you guys have fun. i hear it’s just as gorgeous there as you think it is.

[cerise] anyway, thank you again for asking your–our, i guess; that’s still weird to say–dad some questions on my behalf. i'm sure that wasn’t easy.

[grant] i should warn you that it’s not necessarily a wealth of information.

[cerise] that’s okay.

[grant] there was a lot going on when i talked to him, and if there were other questions i could have asked…

[cerise] it’s okay.

[grant] i wouldn’t have been able to think of them, and now, uh, the line of communication is closed, so i can’t really go back and...

[cerise] i said it was okay, didn’t i?

[cerise] the basics are enough, and you already put yourself out for a stranger. if i want to know anything else, i'll find the right moment to get my my mom talk about what happened.

[grant] do you want me to just get right into it?

[cerise] whatever you prefer.

[grant] so, uh, essentially, my parents were attending a medical conference of some kind in detroit. they were still married then, but my dad was unhappy with the relationship. he met your mom at the conference, and then he had–as far as i'm aware–a one-night stand with her. she found out my dad already had a family, they agreed to not be in each other’s lives, and he paid her child support.

[grant] that’s what i know. i'm sure there’s more to it, but...

[grant] oh! right, “the more” is that there is a nonzero chance we have more siblings out there.

[cerise] huh.

[cerise] i'm almost surprised there isn’t more drama. that’s a pretty mundane story. a one-night stand with someone you know nothing about is the oldest story in the book.

[cerise] weird, i feel better now. my curiosity is sated. well, i am wondering how the affair even happened if your mom was right there and about the potential other children, but that’s a whole can of worms.

[grant] well, i'm glad you feel better.

[cerise] and the story does make sense. i always wondered if there was some big thing with the secrecy, but if it’s because your–our?–dad was a married man, i get it. my mom is a very good person with strong morals. i know her, and she would not want anything to do with someone if she were aware they were cheating and had a family, and she wouldn’t want me to have any business with them either.

[grant] she made the right decision to stay away. he’s unnecessary. your lives are a billion times better off without him. if you’re thinking, “how can he say that?” just trust me.

[cerise] i mean, i can’t be upset about it. i'm not sure what i potentially lost out on, but what i've had in life with my parents has been perfect or just about perfect, so i'm not going to question her choice.

[grant] you didn’t lose anything. not to say trust me again, but trust me.

[cerise] i'm sorry. this probably is far less of a flippant thing for you.

[grant] don’t worry about me. it’s all good.

[grant] i am just really glad you feel better, and i'm glad i could be of some use to you as well. it’s a lot easier to use me than your mom. i have never met her, but i'm guessing she’d prefer to just forget about all this stuff, and i hope she has.

[cerise] i was frustrated she wouldn’t tell me the truth, but i get it now. this may be a classic story, but it’s still, you know, an embarrassing one. if i found out my boyfriend were a married man tomorrow, i would melt into the floor and stay there.

[grant] anyway, i know we’ve been sitting here all of ten minutes, but i should let you go. once i finish drinking this coffee, i will get out of your hair. you have things to do–exciting things. go pack and travel and have fun and all that.

[cerise] hey, you don’t have to leave already!

[grant] no, i don’t want to take up your afternoon. at least no more than enough to tell you what you were waiting a few weeks to hear.

[cerise] i mean, i blocked out time to do that and talk to you generally for a bit.

[cerise] i don’t know how to go about all this, but i wasn’t planning on benefiting off your connection to your–our?–dad and then peacing out. i figured we could be acquainted, if nothing else.

[cerise] unless that’s too much for you, in which case, totally get it. no pressure. my existence must be weird for your mom and siblings. i'm assuming you have siblings.

[cerise] or maybe they don’t know. i also get it if you’re keeping this situation on the down-low. i can assure you that you’d not be alone in that. i'm not sure i could tell my parents right now that i know about my origins or that i've met my bio dad’s son. not yet.

[grant] definitely don’t do that before the big anniversary trip. but no, don’t worry about that either. i don’t have siblings. not anymore. and my mom...let’s not even go there. there’s nothing to worry about on those fronts.

[grant] it’s not that it’s too much, basically. i have zero problems with you, and i have no family left who would have a problem with you either, so.

[grant] i just don’t want to be in your way, not today or at any point in the future, and i will be. you don’t need my dad around; you don’t really need me either.

[cerise] i don’t care if you are, honestly. you are my brother. that feels weird to say, but you are, and you haven’t done anything wrong. i'd like to know my brother.

[cerise] this is maybe the only regretful, i don’t know if that’s the right word, part of all the secrecy and the way i came to be. i get along with my step-siblings. what’s wrong with getting along with the half-siblings? or half-sibling?

[grant] i should have also warned you i'm kind of in a dour mood entirely because of my dad. sorry. not because of you or this whole thing, though, to be clear.

[grant] i wanted to meet to get all this off my mind so i have no other reason to think about him, hopefully, for the rest of my life. i'll be in a more conversational mood soon-ish, once i'm done thinking about him.

[grant] this is going to make me wishy-washy. i don’t want to be in your way; i don’t want to be a source of awkwardness in your family if they ever know you know me, but…

[grant] okay. i wouldn’t mind getting along with my half-sibling. maybe we could meet up when you have time again.

[cerise] yeah, i'll text you. i might be busy for a while with work when i'm back from my trip, but…

[grant] text me anytime. we’ll figure it out.

[kaylopolis]

Alastor's Shadow (18+) - Afterword

Alastor x F!Reader

Synopsis: There’s a new Overlord in town and it isn’t the Radio Demon. Six years after you fell into Hell, you have finally earned your seat at the table as Pentagram City’s newest and baddest and with the Extermination coming six months earlier than planned, it is now time to implement your ultimate endgame. After all, who doesn’t love a bit of power and chaos? Your plan brings you to the doorstep of the Hazbin Hotel as Charlie’s newest Redeemer, but who you find waiting for you will not only turn your entire plan upside down but also challenge your grab for power… 

Tag List: Slow burn, rivals to lovers, eventual smut

Masterlist Link: Masterlist

Spoiler Warning: Please read this after the Epilogue

Dear Hoteliers,

Before we begin, there is one thing I’d like to address: why did I kill Alastor?

Alastor’s death, believe it or not, was not about Alastor.

While you were dying, your thoughts were not fixated on him, nor were they fixated on Mary Marie if you read that alternate ending. They were about the abuse you experienced as an Angel of God. After all, this story, the very first thing that brought you to the Hotel was revenge.

But this was not a story about revenge. That all changed in Chapter 14 “Picking a Fight,” when you and Alastor finally caved and gave in to your feelings for each other.

No longer was your Endgame plan clear cut. Things got complicated. Alastor had to accept you and the plan or it didn’t work. Why? Because, again, you thought your story was one of revenge.

Alastor’s death - the demon saving you, looking after you over the years he was “dead,” and the lengths you went to revive him - changed that narrative. Because now it was not about Alastor accepting you and the Endgame plan, but you realizing that your story could not go on without him.

Literally, hence the time jump.

I did this for your character development, closure of your character’s arc, and because it has been the theme from the beginning of this work: power born from love is a thousand times more powerful than that born from fear.

Hence, the power, chaos, and love modified mantra I ended with.

So, if love was the solution/closure you needed why were you so fixated on the abuse as you died? Why did you not find resolution in those final moments (hence the “your fault” present during this scene)? Why was there no healing from your triggering past during this fic?

I intentionally did not want that sub-plot to find an ending because that’s not how trauma works. It’s an ongoing process - a battle to fight everyday. We have our good days and our bad, and we do not let it dictate our lives, but it’s a battle nonetheless.

I’ve always taken issue with movies and books romanticizing trauma and a character becoming empowered from it, using it as willpower to take down kingdoms literally and metaphorically. Culture wraps up trauma in a nice pretty bow and sticks it on a shelf and calls it a day when, in reality, that’s not how healing works.

It is a battle. An ongoing battle many of us spend our entire lives fighting.

How fitting that Mikaela’s a soldier…

But I’m not here to rehash this subplot. I’ve said my peace for you all to synthesize on your own because I find writers have many hidden motives we don’t catch while reading, and, as a writer myself, it makes me incredibly sad when a reader misses it because the story is SO much better if you understand them.

That being said, I’m here to reflect. After all, it’s what an “Afterword” is for.

I’ve never written a fanfic before but I am a fantasy writer. I decided to use this piece to explore romance, smut, and to fantasize about Alastor because how can you not? Vivienne inadvertently dropped us a hottie who has taken the fandom by storm!

I started this piece off as an “eventual smut” piece. Trying to practice my writing in a way the great Alastor Fictive writers on here would be proud to read: @minkdelovely , @hazelfoureyes , @hurthermore , @krahk , @fraugwinska , @macabr3-barbi3 (seriously go read their stuff, it’s AMAZING). Yet, around Chapter 14 (I call it the “Golden Chapter” in my head because I consider it to be the climax of not only the fanfic but of my writing as a whole. I’m quite proud of that chapter and honestly spent a long time debating ending the story there, but so many things were still unfinished) I found that I didn’t particularly have a talent for writing smut, nor did I enjoy it in the same way I enjoy writing fantasy.

This entire project was a discovery and a challenge for myself, and I grew A LOT as a writer.

Looking back, if I had to do this again, I would change quite a bit after Chapter 14. Maybe I will in the future, but as of right now, I have school and another manuscript to complete.

That being said, I have fallen in love with Mikaela and plan on using her in the future for my own book. (I will obviously not use any of Vivienne’s stuff because copyright laws exist, but I just love the character’s personality.)

I’m not planning on writing more on Tumblr anytime soon, but the series will stay up for future readers to find and enjoy.

My only goal with this was to reach a few people and have one person - just one - say they liked my writing. :)

Thank you, Hoteliers. Without you, this project wouldn’t have happened.

To power, chaos, and love!

As always, stay smutty <3

kaylopolis

Btw looking for feedback, feel free to send me a message!

-> Link to Masterlist

Tagged Hoteliers:

@sirens-and-moonflowers @wonderlandangelsposts @saccharine-nectarine @goyablogsstuff @mommymilkers0526 @eris-norwega @missgirlsstuff @alastor-the-radio-demons-blog @sillywormtrixareforkids @its-a-dam-blue-brick @cloverresin20 @blue-bird251 @speedycoffeedelight @littlebluefishtail @sawi1987 @mopeyghost @beelz3bub @fraugwinska @minamilinaqueen @demoarah @diffidentphantom @divineknightmare @animecrazy76 @sleepykittycx @graunta @reath-solia @satansdaughter123 @mysticatto @freshonyourpages @chibistar45 @rapunzelbro @stephydearestxo

[rizzoreads88]

Hey Rizzo.

do you think it’s at all possible the next book will be elain and Lucien in the spring court? I’m really hoping for elriel but it seems like there is a lot of hints to spring so I’m worried

I think it’s pretty obvious we are going back to the spring court at some point but I don’t think it will be with Elain. I think it will be a Lucien/Vassa/Tamlin book.

I think the next book will be Elain & Azriel with Lucien getting the bonus chapter. I think that will Segway into the following book being a Lucien/Vassa/Tamlin book.

Why?

Well look at where Acosf left us. Azriels bonus chapter left things unsettled between Elain & Azriel. Just like Acofas ended w things unsettled between Cassian and Nesta. Just like Acotar left things unsettled with Feyre & Rhysand. We had azriel questioning the cauldron over elains mate bond and then in HOFAS we find out the Asteri corrupted it. We also know Nesta’s story continues on somewhat from HOFAS. Bryce gave her the star sword and told her to look into it. I think that will be a subplot in Elains book the way Feyres pregnancy was in Nesta’s. I think this will be a good way for all the sisters to work together and start really mending bridges. This will help tie in the crossover even more because we can find out why Nesta has the tattoo .Obviously I think Elain and Azriel will end up working together in some capacity and we will get their love story. I think they will be looking more into the dusk court and Elains going to have to use her powers to find Koscheis “mortality” basically the object he put his soul/life force into.

Now for the spring court. We know SJM is moving Lucien back to the spring court. We know for that last 2 books Tamlin has been depressed not really living either but the IC say multiple times they need Tamlin to get it together and that he is needed for the spring court. We also know SJM has talked about wanting to do a swan lake & vasalisa the beautiful retelling. Which fits the Lucien/Vassa/Koschei story line perfectly. The spring court also borders the human lands where Vassa lives. We also know SJM said if tamlins survived acowar (we know he did) that he has his own journey to go on and that even though he wasn’t for feyre there is more to him then what we get through feyres lense. This is pretty obvious to me she has some sort of Arc planned for him. If she was just going to kill him off saving someone and be done w him she would have done that in acowar.

I think a Lucien, Tamlin Vassa book would be a nice way to start wrapping up a lot of storylines. We would get Lucien and Tamlin working through things and going through Tamlins arc which would bring that full circle from the first book. we would get Lucien’s feelings about things not working out with Elain & moving on from Elain. We would get Lucien and vassas love story… we know we’re gonna need the spring court to go against Koschei because rhysand already said we need the spring court up and running and then we know that Koschei is gonna call Vassa back at some point so I think in this book, we would get Lucien getting over Elain falling in love with Vassa. Get Vassiens love story ,get Tamlins arc going and get him taking care of the spring court again getting the humans on board uniting all the courts.

then in the last book it would be multiple pov and we would have a big all out war going against Koschei, Lucien going feral to save Vassa and breaking vassas curse, and whatever other story lines needing to be wrapped up.

So long story short no I don’t think Elain is going to the spring Court in the next book. There is no set up for her to go there. W Lucien we have a set up bc rhysand wants to move him back there. But Elain is set up to stay w the NC in acosf. She’s curious about powers, she is starting to move on and be a part of the community. There is absolutely no reason she’s just going to randomly up and leave and go to the SC. Now in acomaf when feyre went to the NC she had actual ties to it bc of the bargain w rhysand and then later her love story. Elain has 0 ties and 0 build up to go to the spring court.

These are just my thoughts obviously I’m not SJM but we will see!

[silvertsundere]

Silver Talks AniManga (15/06/25)

I thought next week was gonna be busy but there's only two shows ending. The one after that is gonna be rough tho so good luck me

Red - Dropped Green - New series/New to me Blue - Finale/Completed

Anime

Mobile Suit Gundam: GQuuuuuuX Ep10

Well that was an absolutely insane episode huh. After the zeknova scene I figured it was gonna end there but they just kept going over the ED. I've been labouring under the impression that this would secretly get another cour, but now I can see them totally wrap it up in 2 or 3 more eps I haven't talked about this in a while so to give you the TL;DR, I hate the shitty "love" triangle subplot with Shuji and was ecstatic when he disappeared. Sadly he's still looming over the plot, much to my chagrin. On the other hand, I absolutely love the "old" UC stuff with Char and stuff and all the political manuevering and intrigue. We'll see how the next ep goes, but I hope Machu wins cause she seems to be more over Shuji than Nyaan and I'm tired about hearing about him

Manga

Marchen Crown Ch10 (Dropped)

Wow my first dropped series ever since I started doing these posts, that's craaaazy I only started this cause it was Akasaka and the artist for Shuumatsu no Valkyrie. I never read or watched Oshi cause it didn't seem like something I would enjoy, and considering all I saw and heard from people that did go through it, I made the right choice. Same for Kaguya, but at least that one I think I would enjoy if I ever get around to it one day. So, I went into this with some hope since it's a good combo. I was suspicious of the synopsis cause Akasaka loves to do twists and I was right to be. In the end it turned out to be a very gorey horror manga and I'm just not interested in that. You can make the argument of "Oh you gotta let Akasaka cook, it'll get good believe me", but considering what I know about OnK I just don't think there'll ever be a point where I would go "Yeah it was worth sticking with this one". My friend Mega will continue reading it, so I'll stay updated through him, but I doubt I'll ever regret this choice

Harukaze Mound Ch1

Well well well, that was a pretty good first chap. I don't really care about baseball at all, so I wasn't expecting much from this. I also predicted two of the three big plot points of the chap, but despite all that they did a really good job. The art was good, with some creative panels here and there, and while the story isn't anything super original, with them creating a new team full of "misfits", the set up was pretty nice. I never read their previous series, Phantom Seer, but from what my buddy Mega posted at the time it seemed p decent. I'll be wishing them better luck with this series, tho with how bad sports series have been doing in jump lately, they'll really need it

Syd Craft: Love Is a Mystery Ch28 (Finale)

It's a shame that this had to get cut short, but I guess Jump readers just weren't vibing with the silly mysteries. It sucks cause this was a fun romcom. I thought it was way better than Hima-ten, and that you could really see Taishi's experience with the genre coming through. They did We Can't Study all those years ago, and that even had an anime, so I had high hopes for this. I didn't finish that because it happened at the time were I basically stopped keeping up with anything, but even from what I read and know about it, I'd consider it better than Syd. But that doesn't mean this was bad by any means. I was between a 6 and a 7 but there was no chap I disliked and all the characters were likeable and had fun scenarios so I gave it the little bump. I also appreciated the tease of a harem ending even if it isn't actually canon lol It's a shame to get an axed series, but I'm sure Taishi will be back sooner or later, and I'll be looking forward to that day

[spaceorphan18]

Umbrella Academy Thoughts

So. I did end up finishing Season 4 last night.

I need to preface this with -- I actually really do love this show. The first season of it is still one of my favorite TV stories. I love the characters. I love the sibling dynamics. I love superhero element - where the powers feel fresh or interesting spins on old things. Five and Klaus are just everything.

I didn't love love Seasons 2 or 3, but they were solidly good.

But they could have left things be after Season 3. They could have left well enough alone. Because Season 4, man. What???

Okay, onto spoilery things.

I will say, I really love the concepts and ideas the season had. The strange alien goo stuff wiping everything out while enhancing powers? Sure, fine. The train station that went to different time lines -- inspired, loved that. Even the idea behind the ending -- I could get behind if done correctly.

They had six episodes to tell a really compelling story and just... didn't. Most of it was a waste of time, a bunch of it didn't make sense, and some of it was just plain stupid, and it really breaks my heart that a show that was so, so, so brilliant when it started descended into this mess.

One thing I did like was Nick Offerman and Megan Mullally as the two cult leaders. They were fantastically cast, and did a great job even when the scripts descended into nonsense. I wish they had a stronger ending, but great choice in the casting department.

I have to wonder - the first episode is pretty solid, and I actually like the idea of their lives kind of sucking in their happily ever after era, which thematically makes sense when they wrap around to being erased. Another great idea. But I wonder -- did they get the note that it'd be six episodes after they started writing? But there's a definite shift after the first couple episodes that started to feel like both they were trying to cram in too much to the episodes and that there wasn't enough plot to really make an interesting story. The pacing was incredibly weird.

So... let's talk about the rest of the characters, shall we?

Luther -- I honestly loved his characterization in this season. He was great! He also had really nothing to do, and the whole thing at the CIA's office was a waste of time. Why did we need that sequence, especially when it took up an entire episode?

Diego -- I feel like they made him a little too much of a loser? I also kind of missed his banter with the other siblings. He just felt like a shell, which was intentional, but never got any redemption? Which -- like, if you're going to erase the characters, and this goes for everyone, give them some kind of satisfying growth or ending before they're gone.

Allison -- I'm amused that everyone just kinda let it go (honestly, I don't even remember what she did do, I only watched Season 3 once, but I remember it was bad) but I am glad she got to not be the bad guy this season. Finally. She had some nice moments. Again, didn't really do much ultimately.

Klaus -- my god, the biggest waste of time during the whole season. I love where they started him. But why did he get the stupid subplot of him being a medium? Why did we go there? It's like they needed him out of the way, and buried in a box. You can see the -- how do we get there of it all. But none of it was needed. And it's clear they had no actual idea of how to get him into the main plot. Because he does nothing. And it just... breaks my heart because I love his character so much.

Five -- *sigh* Five is my /favorite/ character, and just... what?? The biggest BIGGEST wasted opportunity was not having more shenanigans related to the train station. Could you imagine if he brought everyone and they all had to timeline jump? It would have been so cool! The concept was brilliant and amazing and just... what?? I did love the diner of Fives. That was inspired and a taste of what i really wanted. But instead they waste all that opportunity on a love triangle. And I get that maybe they were going for Five having character growth of thinking about more than himself? Kind of? But then they missed idea of their whole character who spent three seasons trying to save EVERYONE and not himself, I just... I can't with it. I can't.

Ben -- I'm fine with the Ben stuff, mostly. He was the main plot, it worked until the end when it dissolved into stupidity and shit monsters.

Victor -- At least he got to be part of the main plot in a meaningful way. I did like he and Hargreeves teaming up. It was one aspect that did work for me. I've always felt they never gave Elliot Page enough to do, when he's one of the stronger actors, but at least he didn't get the worst things to do.

Lila -- Oh my god. back to the love triangle stuff. I don't mind her, or the fact that she and Diego had a shitty life. It's fine. But the love triangle was so uninspired. So felt like I've seen this kind of thing a hundred times before. It was so terrible that they needed to waste their time on it. Why? What did any of these characters do to deserve it? It's like, the show, every time it diverged from interesting sci-fi concepts and attempted human drama just kind of failed. And it's sad.

Jennifer -- I... still have so many questions. How did the anti-marigold stuff get into her in the first place? Why was she in a squid? Just... what??

Regi and his Wife -- They've always been so vague about them. I wish they had explained just a little bit more. Just have a little more context and I think it would have gone a long way. The characters just didn't ask enough questions of them, and the story felt thin and unrealized as a result.

Okay... The ending...

When you get to the point in your story where you're CGI'ing a giant shit monster, don't you think it's time you're probably done, done? Like if you are doing this creatively? You've run out of ideas and you're just scrapping the bottom of the barrel. It's just... kind of sad. Everything about it is sad.

As for being erased, I don't actually hate the concept, but man do I hate the execution.

There was a way that could have been incredibly narratively satisfying. You erase them, and then go back to the beginning, and the kids get to live and grow up on their own. Then for the last sequence (loved that they brought I think I'm alone now) you have seven strangers pass each other in the park not knowing each other. And that would have been fantastic, you know? A way for the characters to live on and still uphold the ending.

But what we got? It just felt... so muddled? Like -- how is Claire's kid alive when she never existed? Same with Diego and Lila's kids? I don't understand it!! And the cameos were cute -- but why not bring back everyone? I just don't think it makes a whole lot of sense the way it plays out.

The entire season needed a rewrite, better editing, stronger character focus, and it would have been brilliant. Because the ideas are there. The concepts of this season are great. But maybe they ran out of time? Maybe Netflix switched things on them last second? Or maybe the powers that be aren't that great at their jobs?

Idk, idk. I don't blame the actors (or the crew) they did what they could to salvage the messy, messy script choices.

But I think what makes me the saddest is that it's such a botched ending, this show, that really was so good in the beginning, will end up being forgotten by time because of its ending. In ten years, people will probably forget this show ever existed because we've all moved on not wanting to go back to it.

What a disappointment.

[frary-us]

Despite its initial promising start, Belgravia: The Next Chapter has become something of a muddle, crammed with what feels like a half dozen subplots that don't get the depth they deserve and a narrative that's all too content to use Frederick's abundant (and annoying) Daddy Issues to as the crutch that propels its larger story forward. Thanks to a bloated midsection that seemed content to retread many of the same narrative beats 

— we get it Frederick blames James for all his problems and doesn't trust his wife —the series' final episodes had to rush things in a way that, while fun to watch play out, did a real disservice to the more significant stories of these characters. (Beyond the fact that he is gay, a vicar, and determinedly loves the brother who loathes him, it's safe to say we know almost nothing about James Trenchard.) 

After the dramatic events of last week's episode, which felt like it had roughly four hours of plot crammed into one, the Next Chapter finale has surprisingly fallout. Sure, most of the show's outstanding plot points are wrapped up (shockingly) neatly, but two-thirds of the big, highly anticipated moments take place offscreen. We hear about them afterward, and, as a result, this finale feels more like a book report than anything else. (Which isn't what anyone would call compelling television.) 

There's a tremendous amount of telling instead of showing, as though the show itself assumes its audience already knows everything generally turned out alright in the end, and the finale needs to run down a quick list of how each of those events happened. Almost everyone gets a happy — or at least a satisfactory — ending, but none feels terribly earned. And it's because we don't see any of the emotional work or growth the show claims has been going on behind the scenes. 

......Anyway, Frederick cures his daddy issues by meeting his actual father. Enright's secret letter-writing campaign was to the primarily villainous Bellasis all along. When Enright learns Bellasis is dying, he goes straight to James, and the pair of them convince Frederick that he should meet the father he never knew to get the chance to say goodbye. Frederick does, and Bellasis (in keeping with the episode's apparent theme) says things about being sorry and loving him from a distance, none of which are borne out by behavior he has exhibited in this series or the original Belgravia. But hey, he's dying, so I guess we're meant to be forgiving. (However, he doesn't miss the chance to tell James he's pretty sure he's illegitimate, so at least that tracks.)  

On the plus side, the visit to Bellasis prompts Frederick to finally reevaluate his relationship with his brother, who is still Literally the Best Person in the World. The Next Chapter still skims briskly past their reconciliation; given how fervently Frederick has spent most of this series hating James for made-up reasons or things behind his control, it would have been nice to see something more than the younger Trenchard gracefully being the bigger person for the fifth time. But I guess we can't have everything. 

.....Lots of things happened between the penultimate episode and the finale, including James' recovery from being nearly beaten to death. I guess his blackmailer took all those threats from Fletcher to heart because the good vicar no longer seems afraid of having his sexuality outed to his parishioners. He also let Emily down easy, telling her he is "married to the church" but insisting if he wasn't, boy, he'd sure consider marrying her! (James dodged a bullet here, no matter how unintentionally hilarious his non-breakup breakup speech is.) 

Frederick inherited money from Bellasis but gave it to his brother to distribute to the poor. (Again, the idea that Belgravia decided this character growth is something the audience didn't need to see boggles the mind!) Ellerby got over Clara with a blessed quickness and married his hometown girlfriend, Nell. The pair built a sweet memorial for their lost child, naturally painted by his Bohemian friends.......

[chikaras-garden]

https://www.tumblr.com/chikaras-garden/737469327338536960/how-do-you-go-about-writing-your-wips?source=share

yeah, like your long fics. Thank you btw!

Thanks for waiting for me to get around to this one 🖤

There are a few points I want to make before I get into it:

I find that a lot of writing advice online simply does not apply to the way I write. The reason I say this is that what I’m about to get into might not apply to you, and that’s okay—don’t force yourself to write my way.

Especially on Tumblr, a lot of writers get wrapped up in posting schedules or writing fast. Don’t. It’s one thing to say “I’m going to challenge myself to write 1,000 words this weekend” but it’s something else to say “if I don’t post every Saturday I’ll lose followers.” Work on maintaining a mindset that your longfic is for you, and you’re simply sharing it with others because you love it so much—your mental health will thank you.

In a similar vein as the above, a longfic is a massive time commitment, and I encourage you to be patient and gentle with yourself. It’s a marathon, not a sprint; the fastest I’ve ever written one was 50,000 words in six months, and that was from plotting to final edits.

Now for actual writing advice.

I follow the three-act story structure model religiously. Every story has a beginning (act 1), a middle (act 2), and an end (act 3). Each act also has a beginning, a middle, and an end. I’m not much of a sports person, but I find it helpful to make a baseball analogy here: the beginning is the wind up (setup), the middle is the pitch and the act of the ball sailing through the air (tension), and the end is the hit (payoff). The hit is the direct result of the wind up, and you should be able to visualize the arc the ball traveled from the pitcher’s hand to the bat. This analogy is useful to imagine as a way to make sure your story makes sense from beginning to end.

So how do I plot that? My story ideas usually come to me by imagining my two protagonists (because, hi, I’m a romance writer). What do they want? Why are they the way that they are? Why, at the beginning of the story, are their desires and backgrounds in conflict? How do they need to change during the story to achieve what they want and end up together? Every story needs character development—and this can be subtle—to drive the plot.

Once I have characters whose personalities, desires, and backgrounds I feel confident about, I’m able to start imagining individual scenes. Usually, I come up with something tense first. It could be smut, a kiss, a confession, a realization, an argument—anything goes, really. Naturally, this initial scene ends up being toward the end of act 1 or act 2. So I have my scene, I write it down, and I start to figure out what happened to get them to that scene (“what is this the consequence of?”) and what happens after that scene (“what are the consequences of this?”). As I ask these questions, I write down one-line summaries of my answers in a Google doc. These become major story beats, and writing them down creates your outline.

Now, I feel confident enough to break my story beats into chapters. I start making more Google docs, name them chapter 1, chapter 2, etc. and copy/paste story beats into each. As you start writing your story beats into scenes, you’ll realize that you need to add additional scenes—character development, backstory, worldbuilding, a subplot, interactions with side characters, some nice relationship moments—to deepen your main plot and explore your two characters. Continue to build around your story beats until you feel like you have a complete chapter.

You can probably tell by now that I write out of order. Not all writers do this (in fact, I think a majority writes chronologically instead), but because I spend so much time outlining early on, I’m able to jump around to whatever inspires me—and even cut and paste scenes from one chapter to another. I organize my longfics in a folder with the outline, each chapter separated, a research doc with links and notes, and a doc called snips. If I cut anything, it always goes in snips because I usually end up reusing deleted scenes in a different chapter or even in a different story.

All that said, my outlines are really fluid. For this ask, I looked back at the original outline for the longfic I’ve been writing, and I found that I reorganized it multiple times and re-plotted the entire third act twice. So my advice here is to not feel chained to your outline even though I’m telling you that it’s important to think through how your story progresses; sometimes your characters and the scenes you write will point you in a different direction. Follow the natural progression of your story instead of chaining yourself to an outline that can be rewritten. Listen to your creative instinct.

Kill your darlings. Seriously. Once you’re in the editing phase, cut mercilessly if you think something slows the pace of your story or takes away from the point you’re trying to make. Put it in your snips doc and save it for later—you could even post the outtakes as bonus material if you want to.

As a last note, I really like the writing advice Abbie Emmons has on her YouTube channel. The way she presents the three-act story structure is digestible and relatable, and her advice is the basis of mine.

[flutishly]

GGF rewatch, part 3 - Season 1 wrap-up

Note: I started writing this post a few months ago. Things have happened since which affected my ability to get this post out. I haven't picked up The Great Webseries Rewatch since, but I intend to, once things... settle. In the meantime, I'll wrap up this loose thread.

I didn't even process how quickly the end was coming up. I sped through the last batch of Green Gables Fables episodes with such ease that it just... happened.

GGF has aged remarkably well.

More than so many other shows, GGF has an excellent sense of environment and world. Its side characters exist in a way that makes them feel entirely alive and not just when they're on the screen for Anne-the-blogger's sake. There is a sense that Avonlea is richly populated, even beyond what Anne specifically shows us and shares with us. Things like the writing group, Anne having her friends show up on camera (as young people are wont to do), and the creative writing class project that has everyone doing vlogs (which really is unfair when everyone knows Anne already has a vlog, it's totally favoritism!) all give space for characters to exist on their own terms.

GGF also does one thing which at the time distinguished it from other amateur (and not-amateur webseries): It included an adult. The fact that GGF shows Matthew as a living, breathing, awkward character is delightful. It's lovely because it also shows that Anne's life and choices and mistakes don't exist in a vacuum. When GGF was airing, it struck me as "okay, that's nice" rather than something which actually helps make GGF an excellent adaptation.

There's not all that much effort to modernize, truthfully. GGF never strays too far from the original text (or its intention). Because Anne of Green Gables is still fairly modern itself (or at least still resonates fairly well with the modern reader, all things considered), there aren't needs for huge leaps in order to get the story to work.

Even the romance! Where a lot of the literary webseries needed to make sure that their characters were neatly packed off to relationships by the end (some of which didn't necessarily make sense and some of which were expressly changed so that they could make sense), Anne of Green Gables has no such demand. Anne and Gilbert have the ultimate realistic relationship, in terms of its ups and downs and complications. It's slow. It's powerful. It continues to enchant young readers. GGF sticks to the original script, which I think helps keep it feeling relevant and earned.

GGF also does an excellent job with... minutiae. Ruby remains one of my favorite adapted characters, in large part because she appears on screen as someone whole, who just happened to have not yet been featured and then continues to develop with the confidence and ease of a fully-drawn character. (She's also very well-acted.) Her vlogs don't amount to a subplot (in this season, at least) and they just give space to a human being. It doesn't feel like there's a message that needs to come across or a niche that needs filling (a la Maria Lu in LBD). This is evident in Anne's vlogs as well, where the ever-engaging Mandy Harmon sometimes vlogs about things that really don't fit to any expected plot points, but still give you a rich sense of the character and her world. It's good storytelling.

Ultimately, I'm left with little to say other than... yeah, this has held up. Green Gable Fables feels richer and smarter and deeper almost a decade after the fact than when it first aired, which I think is a combination of my increased appreciation for what it does so well, my better understanding of the source text (I actually hadn't read AoGG when I first started watching GGF and indeed read it because of GGF!), and the way I've seen other shows try to do what GGF is able to do so seamlessly here. I'm exceedingly pleased that I chose this as my second show for the rewatch project; it has held up so well and was just a wonderful rewatch overall. And if you've never seen it before? You're in for a great time.

[icharchivist]

I think a sieg centered event could also go the Naoise way, since he got an awakened draconian form it's likely that sooner or later it will happen to Siegfried, Stan and probably Ferdia too.. but unlike the others siegfried being unstable can bring in a very interesting plot, i would LOVE to know more about Fafnir himself so maybe it could be centered more on Fafnir's past thanSiegfried, maybe they'll find a way to resonate without going berserk? idk i'm curious to see the path they'll take Iagree that a kishi 10th anni feels out of place, but at the same time i wonder what they'll come out with after cbslbs and and you, like this years anni was PERFECT for a 10 year so i wonder how they will outdo themselves (controverial opinion but some believe it might concern lucifer whith the whole subplot of reviving a dead primal, the playable luci tease in the previous one....still i don't know if pringing him back is the right thing...yet idk idk we'll see)

Yess agreed completely!!

I think that, in recent years the 4kishi stories have been trying to recontextualize old lore points into the new, more complex lore. Like for Sylph, which was barely mentioned again after the second kishi event, who now got more time to shine, with a deeper explanation on how her magic work, + a connection to the fairies that deepens the lore in general.

So with the fact that Fafnir hasn't been mentioned much in recent years aside from SIEGFRIED, and the fact we've learn a whole lot more about dragons ever since, especially draconians, i feel like there should be a Kishi event that properly reestablish Fafnir in the lore, with the explanation of why he's important, his connection to Sylph, his connection to the others dragons, and hopefully, an answer to how to save Siegfried (though i'd love Siegfried to keep it unstable and not have everything fixed for him bc i do like him being like that, and considering his kits are all about sacrificing his health by using the dragon blood, it would be nice to carry the tradition, just not having his life threatened by it anymore yaknow?)

So I could see an event focusing on Fafnir, having Siegfried as the second focus in a sense, like say, Siegfried trying to understand Fafnir's past to find a solution for himself (which also i think has been teased anyway? That he must connect with Fafnir and understands him if he wants to survive? So yeah i honestly believe it's a step we'll need to take in Siegfried's storyline. And his Grand being on the horizon can make it something that's addressed sooner than later, the question is, will it be Event worthy, or just FE worthy.)

(also the fact SIEGFRIED is joining the sidestory now is probably a good reason to have a story finally about Fafnir as an event, the same way we needed to wait for Divergent Knighthood to join the sidestory to have Strength to Wield. Giving fans the ability to see the event that kicked it all into motion right before a new event deepens some stuff about it)

as for the 10th anni, 🤝, yeah i think it will be hard to top the latest two events in the sense that they were really wrapping up major lore points.

I can imagine eventually bringing Lucifer back but i also kinda wish they don't make the 10Th event reliant on just Lucifer. Like, i love Lucifer, and of course i love talking headcanons about bringing him back.... but it's also mostly bc it's fan ramblings on my blog. I don't really know what i want in canon. On one hand having him back would be nice, on the other, I think it would be a shame to undercut one of the most powerful death of the story as well.

Personally i've been gunning for a few years in thinking the 10th event might be a Speaker centric event. Finally Sahar and Shalem being unveiled for what they are (especially since the Art of Mercy teased in its ending that Altair has been doing researches on the Speaker and has already been connecting Shalem to them). especially with the set up in the latest event that Lu Woh is definitely down to rebel against Bahamut, having Sahar and Shalem finally address their place regarding Bahamut could work out imo.

Perhaps a story more directly talking about Bahamut could be welcomed on top of that.

Alternatively, the 10th anni could be about the Boundary, considering how much it has been set up in the past few years and how ominous it was last year, especially with the Fake!Seofon (or Sieten't like i saw people call him)

But i'm a bit concerned because aside from wmtsb being a trilogy and all, the anni events usually take at least two years between their set up and their anni conclusion, in order to make sure people have had the time to read the previous story. And i worry that an event on the Boundary now may be a little too reliant on "... and you", and would be harder to bring up otherwise.

so yeah, personally I believe more in a Speaker OR a Boundary centric event for the 10Th anni, something that will actually give us major answers about Bahamut.

Idk about Lucifer's revival at all, and i don't even know how i would feel about it. Could be the major surprise to the fans, but mhmmmm. I mean i adore wmtsb but there's an over-reliance on it (and especially on Sandalphon/Lucifer/Lucilius/Belial) from the fanbase that I think kinda overshadows more elements that would really deserve to actually have a deep dive on.

As is, i just try to keep my expectations low because i don't really want to set myself up for disappointment. (granblue never actually did that to me because for the high expectations stuff i had they usually filled it (forever thrilled about how the Lamorak story went), or i didn't have expectations to start with, but i've seen so many fans genuinely trash events i either liked or "found fine" just because it didn't live up to the hype they hyped themselves about, and it kinda makes me want to not let my hype blind me to the actual product we're getting).

I guess we'll see when we get there!

but yeah i feel like, while the Kishi COULD have an anni story like the Society..... it's not 10th anni worthy, i know people want it to be bc it's the longest running saga, but imo a 10Th anni is too big for it not to be about the creation lore in some shape or form.

in an 11th year perhaps, and at a point, imo, where the plot would definitely mention the fairies rather than just focusing on Merlin's revenge? I feel like just Merlin's revenge could be a major event that would deserve a lot of spotlight, but even HSM was an opportunity to genuinely bring up Moon Lore. the 4kishi saga could get away with it if they used it as a way to bring up the Fairy Lore we've been teased for a while. But as it is, i think it's not the right time in the Kishi saga for that, and even if we get a Fairy lore dump in the next event, i don't think it'll prepare us for a possible 10th anni deep dive on it.

Obviously my reasoning could be completely off base, but that's the way i'm thinking about all of this at least, more than just "would it be cool if-" yaknow.

anyway 🤝

[pillarboxed]

Mencari Hajar (2023) Review

Director: Sanif Olek

Runtime: 88 minutes

Language: Malay, Mandarin, and English audio; English and Malay subtitles

Certification: PG (Singapore)

Hajar (Nora Samosir) holding her identity card.

When I’m visiting relatives in Singapore for Hari Raya Aidilfitri or Hari Raya Haji (Eid al-Fitr and Eid al-Adha), the TV is usually playing in the background. It often feels like there’s scenes awash with anguish and tears, which I’ve found strange, considering that we’re supposed to be celebrating. I expected that Mencari Hajar, last year’s Hari Raya Haji telefilm special, would have a similar sort of overly sentimental tone. I’m normally hesitant about this, my interest more quickly piqued by stories with subdued emotions—think something like Yasujiro Ozu’s Tokyo Story or Late Spring—but I hadn’t (and still haven’t) seen enough film and TV from my home country, so I decided to give Mencari Hajar a try.

The film’s title can be translated from Malay into English as “Looking for Hajar”. This describes what Kenny Goh (Michael Chua), a Chinese man, has been doing for a long time now: he’s been searching for his aunt (Nora Samosir) who was given away to a Malay-Muslim family as a baby. He doesn’t know that she goes by the name “Hajar”, though. He doesn’t know much about her at all. But Kenny is determined to realise his father’s final wish of reuniting with his little sister.

The overall tone of Mencari Hajar turned out to be well-balanced. While the start and end make extensive use of dramatic or melancholic music over slow motion or close-ups on faces, they don’t feel overdone. The middle sections are kept quite light, with gentle or playful instrumentals often being used to alleviate tension. For example, when Kenny’s adult daughter, Sarah (Joyce Harn), finally visits her parents after some time. Kenny nags at her incessantly—and her husband, over video call—but with the music, along with a hand-held camera gently moving with the characters, it’s a scene that feels light-heartedly familiar rather than frustrating. Even after Hajar’s daughter, Rina (Sharon Ismail), reveals the huge mistake she’s made, the film doesn’t shove their overwhelming emotions onto us. It makes us sit quietly with the characters. They’re mostly filmed in a two-shot, allowing us to see Hajar’s expression grow naturally from shock to despair to anger to acceptance while Rina sobs near her.

From left: Hajar's brother and Hajar's father

Since Mencari Hajar was made for Hari Raya Haji, it stands to reason that there needed to be some connection made to the holiday. So, while Kenny is trying to find Hajar, she is preparing to leave the country for Hajj*. This is one of the film’s several subplots.

Another subplot follows Sarah, who is not only Kenny’s daughter but also Hajar’s neighbour. Sarah moved into their apartment building about six months ago; the film depicts their growing bond even before discovering they’re relatives.

As well as adoption, Mencari Hajar portrays another way intercultural families can be formed: through marriage. Sarah is married to a Malay-Muslim man, and the film explores what this means for themselves and their families. Since Sarah is pregnant, the topic of postpartum care arises. Which tradition should she follow? Should she follow her Chinese mother’s advice? Or should she use the medicines that her Malay mother-in-law gave? The film doesn’t give us an answer. My mum, who’s been in a similar position to Sarah, didn’t use either traditional medicine. Maybe Sarah will do that.

The remaining subplot focuses on Rina’s struggles with supporting two young children as a single mother. Compared to the others, this story thread seems a bit out of place but by the end of the film, we’re shown its relevance.

From left: Kenny's wife/Sarah's mother, Kenny (Michael Chua), and Sarah (Joyce Harn)

At first, it felt like the story suddenly wrapped up all too nicely—despite its bittersweet ending. After further thought, however, I decided that even if my “logical mind” isn’t fully satisfied, the ending does work. I’d describe it as eucatastrophic.

Deus ex machina, a concept related to the eucatastrophe, doesn’t need to be avoided as much as common writing advice asserts that it does. That’s what I learnt from this film. In a LitHub article by Jonathan Walker, he discusses how he used a eucatastrophe in a novel written for his PhD in creative writing. He recounts his supervisor saying, “This is a story about Christian characters and beliefs. Shouldn’t it also have a Christian plot structure?” Walker explains that “[the] whole concept of the deus ex machina implies a secular worldview, in which divine intervention can never be the real subject of a drama, and so its introduction is always evidence of a failure of human imagination.”

Well, Mencari Hajar is a story written for an Islamic holiday. Shouldn’t it have an Islamic plot structure? I think it should. And it does. Which is very fitting.

Rating: 4/5

Mencari Hajar is available to stream on mewatch.

*Hajj is an Islamic pilgrimage that takes place annually but is only required to be performed by Muslims at least once in their lifetime. Hari Raya Haji takes place during the days of Hajj.

Last updated: Sep 2, 2024

[alkahero72]

My Honest Thoughts on AHS Asylum

It's shit, the whole thing is shit. First of all, too many subplots. way too many, the nazi, Kit and his girls, the aliens, Bloodyface, Judy, etc there's just so much and to be honest it gets really convoluted and jumbles up, Kit having 2 wives felt really pointless because what we were shown of his character up until that point he doesn't seem like the kind of guy to just bang another chick after his wife got sent to the fucking shadow realm. I also don't like Grace very much. I think she should have died when she was shown and shouldn't have randomly come back, i also have no fucking clue how she came back that string of scenes was sooo confusing i had no clue what was happening. When Kit came home to Alma he should have broken up with Grace, because why wouldn't he? Yeah i understand him letting her stay there as a friend but as a family with 3 parents? Nuh uh just feels pointless to me, in my honest opinion Grace didn't really need to be a character at all. Nazi guy, now i forgot his name cuz he's annoying as fuck but nothing came out of him being a nazi. It really didn't do anything to the plot??? It just confirmed that he was indeed the big bad when we kinda knew that already... Ok, Judy, I actually think this storyline is perfectly okay and it ties well with the main storyline of the story which is Lana and bloodyface so there isn't really anything to say about this one. No hate to Jessica Lange, she's a fantastic actor and this isn't necessarily in her control, but i feel that all her AHS character's, are the same character, they all sort of behave and act the same, excluding Constance. For one, they're all alcoholics/ used to be (Judy) and they all act extremely troubled, an old blonde woman with a dark and tragic past, this is most commonly reflected through Fiona. Now, the alien plot, again, it didn't turn into anything, there was no explanation of the events and it led to a dead end, i don't think aliens and an asylum were a good mix, because they never built upon it, it was shown as such an important plot at the beginning but then faded, and after everyone escaped Briarcliff it wasn't really brought up anymore. Onto bloodyface and Lana, while this is the main storyline there are many flaws. Lana having bloodyface's child was completely pointless, i think it was just an excuse to add more plot to the last few episodes, plus the SA scene of BF and Lana felt completely unwarranted, which ties into my next point, Shock Value. This season is just horror porn, it tries to show a lot of heavy topics such as the nazi's and the medical abuse of homosexuals. But it doesn't really do them well, the nazi subplot served no purpose and was just a huge nothing burger, along with the weird Anne Frank thing, all it did was reinforce doctor dude as a bad character, which we already knew. They are trying to shock the audience like "hey look at us our show is so dark and spooky and horror" when its just sensitive topics jumbled into one convoluted string of meaningless storylines. On a lighter note, i really enjoyed the Sister Mary Eunice plot, it tied in well with the Lana main plot with the further corruption of Briarcliff and i really think those two plots were the backbone of this season and worked well together. This brings me to my last point, the earlier seasons suffer from being too long. way. too. long. In Murder House, i just didn't know when it was gonna end, there were multiple scenes near the end of the season that i felt could have wrapped up into a nice conclusion, but it just kept going. The number and duration of episodes of season 1,2 and 4 are way longer than they needed to be. However Coven works perfectly well. I feel that Coven was an extreme improvement and i feel that the writers may have noticed the many flaws that came out of 1 and 2, but most prominently 2. Freak show is still kind of a dip down though, but it still is a vast improvement from 1 and 2. There is also just one last issue that i have to talk about, Lana. Her sudden switch-up at the end of the season really didn't make any sense to me.

[dancingplague]

Okay I've been rewatching bits of Ted Lasso season 2 and thinking about what needs to get wrapped up in season 3, and as much as I am uncertain about the idea, Bex's baby *has* to be Jamie's, right?

They keep reminding us that Bex and her baby exist so that plotline is definitely not getting swept under the rug

Jamie's natural narrative relevance faded for like two seconds and they immediately swapped him into his unrequited love subplot that coincidentally gave him a chance to demonstrate emotional maturity

What was the point of introducing Bex as Jamie's date in 1.04 then never mentioning it again if not to make the pregnancy timeline work out

If Rupert is going to be the main villain of season 3, which he clearly is, they can't not address that he had a baby he doesn't care about just to spite his ex wife. There is no satisfying ending to the show where he ends up taking care of that baby

Also explains the purpose of the couple of ostentatious scenes where Jamie is nice to kids

[chiizuburger]

Let's talk about the series Giri/Haji (2019) aka the most underrated series in Netflix

I literally just finished Giri/Haji and I need to talk about it. Because I don't think I've ever been this...in love with a series since ever.

First things first, I'mma share a little bit how I learned about the series:

I became obsessed with Sophia di Martino after seeing her in Loki, and like anyone with a heart, I looked through her IMDB to find where else can I see her?!

And I stumbled upon Flowers, which is an equally phenomenal series also available in Netflix, and I discovered Will Sharpe.

And lemme tell ya, he's a beautiful piece of mankind and I learned that not only did he write and direct and act in Flowers, but he is also the lucky husband of Sophia.

Then I saw that Will won a BAFTA for his role in Giri/Haji. Learned that it was also in Netflix and a week later (because I wanted to savor it), here we are.

Okay. No-spoiler thoughts first.

If you dig detective series and/or British series and/or Japanese drama, this delicious piece of bilingual media is for you.

If you love the whole "found family" premise, this is for you.

Off the bat, Will's character Rodney is the clear scene stealer of this series. Right from the first episode, you just know you're gonna love him and wanna give him all the love he sorely needs.

I adore that Kenzo isn't written as a macho detective lead. He allows himself to be vulnerable and isn't afraid to get in touch with his emotions.

Of course, as the Japanese man he is, it takes time for him to accept his emotions, but I'm happy he doesn't resort to anger or self-pity to deal with them.

I love how all the women--and I mean all of the women characters--are strong-willed and unapologetic and flawed and fierce and I-will-stab-you-in-the-legs-if-you-grope-me energy. All of em. They take no bull shit and I respect that.

It is particularly nice to see that kind of energy with Japanese women, who are often written as innocent and demure and pure.

My most favorite aspects of this series is its cinematography, its editing, and its storytelling.

The various ways it uses cinematic language and different forms of media to highlight important moments of the story really makes the series a well-crafted show.

My favorite episodes are Episode 3, 4, and 6.

Episode 4 was particularly memorable. It is one of the best flashback episodes I've ever seen and it deepens our perspective of every main character.

My favorite sequence comes in both Episode 6 and Episode 8, the finale.

Despite getting recognized by BAFTA, the show got cancelled after one season.

But you know what?

(Spoiler thoughts start under the cut)

I think it was a smart move to keep it a one-off drama.

Everything actually wrapped up nicely. There's one semi-loose end that I need reassurance about, which is whether Rodney and Sarah (our female lead detective) become friends again and Rodney can fully realize that he is loved by his newfound family.

Apart from that, this is one series where the semi-open ending finale trope works.

I think the whole Ian-might-rat-us-out subplot could have played out better? Or maybe it could not have played out at all? Like, maybe instead of Abbot being at the rooftop, maybe it could have been Ian?

I actually wasn't sure about how we should feel about Ian. I mean, he didn't deserve Sarah, but...he's...not...a bad...person? I mean, a sketchy detective and a bad boyfriend, yes, but it didn't fully read out to me as "don't trust him" or "stay away from him."

Because when Sarah said in the second episode that her ex was a man who did bad things "until he couldn't," I heard that as he physically abused her. Like, that shit of a man.

But...I don't know. Maybe I missed out on something.

Plus, WHO DID PUT THE SNAKE IN SARAH'S LETTER BOX? Was that some kind of sicko prank?! Did one of her neighbors have it as a pet and it accidentally went to her letterbox???

If Ian was worked for the mafia, maybe that would have worked better? Like, switch Vickers, for Ian, maybe?

Gosh, Vickers, am I right? I mean, who would have thought Justin Long would be a part of this?

ROY was a surprise. Did not expect that twist in the finale. I feel bad for him though because he was really just a bloke caught up in a sticky situation. Like, he's not a bad guy, too. He's just in a bad situation.

Huh.

It's like what Kenzo said, huh? "We're not bad people. We're just doing bad things."

Kenzo and Sarah, right? I felt like it wasn't necessary for them to get romantic, but after Episode 3 with that silent exchange, I appreciate that they went that direction.

I also appreciate that Kenzo was fully aware that he is married and Sarah was fully aware of it too. She knew it was the worst way to let light in.

And I'm glad that there was a moment between Kenzo and Rei where they allowed themselves (or at least Rei allowed Kenzo) to go off their separate ways.

I love the detail that Rei was actually in contact with Yuto and Natsuko is an badass old woman who likes to live on the edge.

The way she said, "Then we will fight" when Eiko and Rei worried about the yakuzas. I mean!

Okay, okay. I'mma back up a bit, because the reason why I thought the whole Ian subplot didn't work was because it felt like the writers eventually didn't know what to do with Rodney?

Like, why bring this kind of pain to Rodney?!

But then, you know, thinking about it as I am writing this, we all know Rodney would be with Taki and it might be Rodney who gets in trouble with Jiro.

Ahh, Jiro. That...dangerous specimen.

Glad he didn't kill Toshio.

But still, my biggest concern for the ending of this series is that we leave Rodney at such a low place.

Like, I just need to know that he needs up okay and he reunites with Sarah and Taki and all live together in London now. And Rodney's restarting his life with a better direction in life, but of course struggles with relapse?

Okay, I am seeing now where the second series could have went on. The creator said it would have been a "Rodney-Taki centric" season.

Gosh, so maybe they would have changed genre?! Aaaahhhhh! but who knows? I mean, I imagine the yakuzas are still after the Mori brothers.

But then again, Fukuhara and Endo are dead sooo...

Giri/Haji, right?! It's... It's a great piece of media.

Anyway, if you wanna talk about Giri/Haji, please feel free to send me a message!

PLEASE! Haha. Take care, y'all

[mccoys-killer-queen]

Cruel Summer finale R A N T

spoilers ahead, and these are just my opinions!!

no interaction between Kate and Ashley? cheap cop out.

okay so you’re the police. you get called to a house bc a kidnapping victim called for help. you find her kidnapper dead in the basement from a gunshot wound. the victim’s fingerprints are on the weapon. What do you report happened? A shootout with you, the police, of course. HOW THE FUCK WAS IT A POLICE SHOOTOUT IF THE POLICE KNOW THEY DIDN’T HAVE A SHOOTOUT WHAT EWSPGOMPOTGMTG HOW DOES THAT MAKE ANY SENSE?? HOW DID KATE LITERALLY GET AWAY WITH MURDER?? No one fucking batted an eye at the possibly she might have killed him??? HOW?? It LITERALLY couldn’t have been set up more obviously for the police to find out the second they walked into the house. Cheap cop out.

the subplot between Vince and whatshisname is cute but also uh- really pointless and a waste of time imo. Cheap.

AND FURTHERMORE- THE ROLLER RINK SCENE WAS SO HOMOEROTIC YET THEY CHOSE A SPONTANEOUS SPLIT SECOND MOMENT AT THE END FOR THE LESBIANS TO FINALLY APPEAR?? CHEAP.

those last ten minutes where they managed to A- solve the Mallory thing B- restore Jeanette’s name C- turn Jeanette into actual Satan for REAL THIS TIME- ALL WITHIN TEN MINUTES? Cheap cop out.

someone on here pointed out how the Mallory twist was so cheap and honestly yeah?

I can’t express how much I fucking hated that final final scene. It seemed so out of character for Jeanette to LEAVE KATE IN THE BASEMENT?? The story wrapped up nicely for the most part, it was SO UNNECESSARY for them to throw that bit in there just to milk out another season somehow. If it weren’t for that scene, there would literally be no reason for season 2. Cheap move to drag it out. “oH bUT jeANetTE acTuaLLy diD sEE kAte oH nOOoO”

why and HOW did Jamie and Janette get back together that’s fucking horrible?? He PUNCHED HER IN THE FACE FOR NO REASON? cheap cop out.

seriously tho why did Jamie even punch Jeanette anyway? I feel like that was super unclear, because they found out Kate was alive, Jeanette sees Jamie, her punches her out of the fucking blue?? Was there something I missed?

I get they tried their damnedest not to have closure in some areas but oh my g o d they could have so easily wrapped up this entire storyline in this season if they weren’t so fucking CHEAP and dragging everything out !! I swear to god there were at least 2-3 episodes that didn’t need to happen

They should’ve hinted that Kate x Mallory (Kallory) may have possibly been a thing but nope. Cheap spontaneous addition as always.

How did they explain Jeanette suddenly dropping the lawsuit?

How did they explain how Kate found out she was wrong?

Does everyone in the country hate Kate now?

How tf are they gonna milk another season out of this like ffs it’s just gonna be the biggest eyeroll ever

I’m getting too tired to rant anymore. I might update this later but it’s midnight and I’ve had enough

[maxwell-grant]

Thoughts on the second part of the Lupin Netflix TV Series?

As I just finished watching it I can answer this one. I'll link to my previous post on it here, and in short: I definitely still really like this show and I think overall I liked this season better, despite my criticisms being more or less the same (although somewhat alleviated).

Where as I thought the previous season started off really strongly and then tapered off towards the end, I thought this one didn't take off to a great start but really picked up the pace to a really smashing finale. And the finale on this one I think is what really pushes me to liking this part better than the previous one. Omar Sy predictably is still carrying the hell out of the role, the show fundamentally still understands the appeal of Arsene Lupin stories in the 21st century in a way a lot of other franchise adaptations don't, it's still a pretty fun time give or take a couple of dumb decisions and tonal mismatch here and there.

I still think the subplot of Assane's family continues to be uninteresting in it's execution, especially with his son. I still think Pellegrini is a dull villain, and part of that is because he's a very realistic villain and "realistic evil" is a very, very boring, very tiring thing that's not really what I want out of a overarching Lupin villain. I don't want Lupin to take three seasons to take down just one old and corrupt businessman. I'm glad they toned down the cop subplot this season. I was really, really hoping that Assane would have played his recordings of Pellegrini's confession or Dumont's tapes before that massive crowd, or done anything with what he found other than just give it to Guedira so he and his shitty cop friends could arrest Pellegrini again when we all know he's gonna be out and, fine, the show has to go on another season, I guess. I really gotta stop comparing these kinds of shows to Vincenzo. Vincenzo ruined a lot of things for me and I just gotta get over that.

But putting those aside I definitely really liked this season, especially in the last three episodes. They moved away from wrapping up the loose ends of the previous season and the family subplots, and instead moved back to the heist structure with this big new caveat that's Assene being a fugitive, and I think it really worked in it's favor.

What really made this season for me though was the increased focus on Assane and Benjamin's friendship, something I didn't particularly think was missing from the first season, but now I realize really adds a lot to a show that frankly doesn't have a very interesting pool of side characters to work with. I really liked their friendship in the flashbacks and present scenes and how well they work together, in particular I really really loved the episode with the two in the catacombs for this, and I think their scenes together helped solidify to me a bit about why I like Assane as a character.

I think the main thing about Assane that sets him apart as a "Lupin", compared to the original and Lupin the Third and whatnot, is that, as clever and smart as he is and as much as he's clearly having fun with his revenge quest and all, all Assane wants is companionship. All he wants is to do right by the people he loves.

All Lupins are thrill-seekers by default. Arsene Lupin, though started robbing to pay for his mother's treatment, did it mostly because it was the only challenge he could find at life. He steals for the thrill of it and to have nice things, and over time his collection becomes this legendary thing, as he becomes more and more of a loner. Lupin III does everything for fun and for the challenge as well, but most of the time he never particularly keeps what he steals or willingly gives it up, because all he really wants is to have fun with his friends (Pops included).

But Assane, as much as he enjoys it, fundamentally just wants to get this grimy revenge business done so he can do right by his father and go home to spend time with his son and ex and his friend and his dog, and maybe get away with the odd mischief here and there. It means he takes half-measures and commits mistakes that get him in a lot of trouble, but it also gives him a more tangible humanity and motivation that the other Lupins don't have or need.

The show hangs on the question of whether or not Assane could ever stop with the Lupin shenanigans to live a quiet life with his family, but he's not doing the Lupin stuff just because, he's doing it because he's been doing it since childhood, because Lupin fiction was there for him when nothing else was, and it's the only way he has of taking control from his environment, and use that to do nice things for others. Whether he's any good at that, is up to debate, but Lupin has never been a perfect hero to begin with.

But most of all, I continue to just be extremely happy not that this show exists and it's great, but that it's achieved such a smashing popularity. That it went on to become Netflix's most watched non-American series, that it even surpassed La Casa de Papel and pulled near-Witcher numbers. It just, never ceases to amaze me the many ways Arsene Lupin just keeps being popular, just keeps showing up again and again and just, how much people can't get enough of this character and rightly so (every day I still get notes on my "Lupin in Japan" post).

I'm so glad I get to watch this show with my mom and that she has Arsene Lupin stories on her bedstand, and then I can go to mall and find Lupin in there next to such literary giants like Tolkien and Gaiman, and now I read all these great articles about the reception to the show and Omar Sy's performance.

I'm so starved for good news when it comes to pulp heroes that I don't really expect them to begin with, but it's nice to get something, y'know. It always gives at least a slight measure of hope.

Oh, and sometimes when watching the show I thought "I wonder if they are ever going to reference Lupin III? I don't want a big thing but at least a slight nod" and then in the last episodes they went and did it by having Benjamin drive around Lupin III's yellow Fiat 500 and I laughed very hard at it. I think growing up watching Mr.Bean has instilled in me a fondness for protagonists having really shitty cars that you still get unreasonably attached to, and of course what else of Lupin III could they reference, but this?

And now all I want is for them, in true Lupin III fashion, to destroy this car in a chase sequence next season.

But yeah, definitely recommend this show. Looking it up, it seems like they structured these 10 episodes as "the first chapter of a bigger show", so I'm very much curious to see where it goes from here.

[therealvinelle]

Vinelle (and muffin since I know they'll see this too~!), I don't know if you guys have made a post ranking the Twilight books and why (including Bree and L&D if applicable) but I'd love to hear your opinions! (also if you could rank the Twi movies from least worst to most worst and why that'd be awesome too! 030 hi key love your rants on the movies and would love to hear y'alls thoughts more on them)-Sw

You’ve caught us out, anon.

And thanks to you, we spent last night watching Breaking Dawn Part 2 so we could rank it. @theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin hadn’t seen it at all, while I half-remembered it from years ago. A terrible time was had because that movie was unwatchably bad.

Since this ask was sent jointly, our answer was co-written.

So, without further ado, movies first:

1. Twilight

This is a bad movie, but it’s recognizably a movie. The scenes are connected, there are things it did well, and we could tell you what the plot is. The awkwardness, for instance, is very well done. The weaknesses are glaring, the main one being that the film never sells us on the characters of Bella and Edward, nor on their relationship, relying instead on the audience knowing they’re in love because- well, they’re in love.

Diving deeper into Edward and Bella, there’s an understandable explanation for this. Edward of the books is terrifying, and I don’t think there’s a translation to screen that could have kept the romantic atmosphere surrounding him that we see from Bella’s point of view.

Bella can listen to Edward eating Biology and how he explains that it means how much he loves her and not blink. An actual audience hearing that dialogue will have second thoughts.

Right out of the gate, Twilight has a very difficult task: Salvage Edward Cullen while still producing a somewhat recognizable character who will take the same actions (or near the same actions) that Edward Cullen did in the book.

In the effort to make Edward palatable but save some of his original character he loses his more terrifying lines (as well as his hilarious ego) but becomes weird, awkward, and vaguely creepy. Edward Cullen of the films is that weird, friendless guy in your high school who you feel kind of bad for but don’t want to eat lunch with.

Bella faces a similar transformation. Bella’s insecurity is completely removed (or else the screenwriters somehow failed to notice it). As a result, we get this strange antisocial girl who is too cool for school because she’s a stuck up bitch.

Between Edward, this creepy guy who sits next to her in Biology, and Bella, this girl who enters school too good for everyone else, we see no reason why they would ever be interested in one another.

In an attempt to make these characters likeable they made them both unlikeable and boring. The film series as a whole never recovers from this (indeed, the quest to make Edward look good keeps leading to stranger and stranger places). 

It also forgets to explain why the Cullens live among humans, they’re attending high school… because. It’s a movie that explained to us all those terrible 2010 era memes and “still a better love story than Twilight”. And frankly, those memes were great, better than the movie. Case in point.

Everything is weirdly blue, which is atmospheric but also makes everything and everyone washed out. Everyone is super pale, so you have Mike looking just as vampire-y as Edward. However, it’s recognizably a movie. It introduces the characters, recognizes that the audience needs to be informed of things that are important to the plot, and most scenes are in some way connected to the plot. This is more than can be said for the other films, which is why it lands the top slot.

2. Eclipse

Eclipse earns its second place by process of elimination. The remaining three were worse. Eclipse also features Edward being cuckolded mercilessly, which is hilarious. Oh, and Victoria playing Riley, that was another beautiful scene.

Apart from that it’s just a deeply boring, borderline unwatchable movie.

Special shoutouts go to:

The opening scene of Riley getting turned, a ridiculous and poorly executed scene that served no purpose for the movie whatsoever.

Rosalie dropping her backstory without any context, Bella walks up to her and Rosalie launches into this horrific story for no particular reason. Both her and Jasper’s backstories could have been cut, as they served no purpose to the story and felt really thrown in there.

The many, many redundant scenes. The Victoria chase that ends with the Cullens and Quileutes squabbling could have been cut entirely. So too could the Seattle subplot with the newborns and Bree.

It’s a movie that isn’t about anything in particular, so it throws subplot spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks. It dutifully regurgitates the Jacob/Bella/Edward love triangle while also trying to convey that Bella’s about to lose her mortality, while also trying to introduce suspense and excitement with the newborns. It fails to execute either of these, and it also fails to tie them together.

3. New Moon

The movie that wanted to skip itself.

This movie had two jobs, show that Bella is depressed when Edward leaves and convince the audience of Bella and Jacob’s strong friendship. And apart the rotating shots and the occasional Stewart voiceover, the former becomes one of those “just stay with us on this one, guys” failures, and the second is failed on every level. Jake and Bella are much closer at the beginning of this movie than they were in canon, and a montage of Bella hanging out with her buddy is just that, it’s a montage of Bella hanging out with her buddy. It speaks volumes that Stewart’s voiceover has to remind us she’s depressed and Jacob is helping her heal, because there’s no indicator on screen that this is happening.

This, in turn, makes Bella/Jake as weak and unconvincing as Bella/Edward was in the previous movie. We just have to take on faith that these people are important to each other because that’s what we’re told.

There’s also the wolves, who are completely butchered. In the books, there’s this great mystery with bears in the woods, there’s Bella wondering why Laurent ran off, there’s build-up, then when we find out what’s actually been happening it’s a satisfying explanation, all the pieces come together really nicely. This is not the case in the movie. Meeting the pack is just weird in this context, because we never wondered who they were. Bella is randomly invited to breakfast, we meet Emily with the scarred face who won’t ever have a line again, and that’s it, these characters don’t become important to the movie in any way. It’s a pointless scene that could have been cut, much like so many other scenes in these movies.

Apart from that, the Volturi scene from the books is butchered so I hardly recognize it, and Alice, Carlisle, and Edward’s characters are assassinated to an impressive degree considering they were barely in the movie.

It was hard to watch.

It lands third place because somehow, Breaking Dawn was worse.

4. Breaking Dawn Part Two

I’ll just list the positives: the intro was very pretty and promised a better movie. It was also long, which we appreciated because it took away from the movie’s runtime. (This is not at all an exaggeration, a lot of the time watching all five movies was spent looking at the remaining runtime and groaning.) The Tommy Wiseau sex scene in the sex cabin was uncomfortable, but the fact that it would have fit perfectly in The Room made it funny. The Romanians were genuinely, unironically, great, because of all of Carlisle’s trashy friends, these were the only ones the movie didn’t try to convince us weren’t trashy.

This movie ranks above Breaking Dawn Part One because of the things listed above.

Apart from that, something all of these movies, but especially the last four, suffer from is that they don’t have plots so much as they have a check list of things to put in the movie before they can call it a wrap. This movie is the worst offender of that, and it’s made worse by the film’s expectation that the people are fans who already know what’s happening, and therefore don’t need anything explained. I’ll explain what we mean by that.

We get Bella waking up a vampire, and absolutely nothing is explained. If you don’t know what happened in the last movie then fuck you. Bella then goes hunting, we get the hiker, we get the mountain lion, she goes back to meet Renesmée, finds out Jake imprinted on her daughter, we get the sex cabin, the handwrestling with Emmett. The Charlie problem is introduced (poorly), only to be solved a scene later with emotional payoff that had absolutely no buildup. All of these things, and the rest of the movie as well for that matter, feels like we’re just crossing items off a list.

Since the audience is expected to already know the story, the story only bothers to explain about half of what’s happening, if half. Who’s the lady living with Charlie? If you don’t know, don’t worry because it’s not important anyway. When did Kate and Garrett fall in love? If you don’t care, that's understandable, because they’ve barely interacted in the movie. Who are the Amazonian women? Do they have names? Don’t worry about it. Did Alistair actually leave, if so did that have an impact? Well, Bella stared at a window for a few seconds.

Every so often the characters will start quoting the books, and it’ll be completely out of place because these movies veered off course long ago. Carlisle references his great friendship with Aro, a friendship that was only briefly mentioned at the beginning of the second movie. Aro randomly starts talking about how scary human technology is.

All of these scenes feel like Marcus is telling the story, he’s just listing events waiting for the story to be over, and forgets a lot of pertinent details because he doesn’t care enough to remember them. There’s no effort to tie these scenes together, no effort to build up to anything.

There’s also one significant failure, and this is a failure shared by all five films, but it affects the plot (I use the term “plot” loosely) of this movie which is why it gets a special shoutout here. Vampires in these movies look human. The fact that Bella has to ask Edward is Gianna the secretary is human says it all, because in the books you know instantly, there’s not even a question. This makes the Charlie subplot ridiculous, because Bella looks and acts the same as ever. She had a trashy makeover, maybe, but she’s still Bella. Watching her get human acting classes after we watched her act perfectly human is just silly. Now, we’re all for suspension of belief, but this movie just pencil drew a moustache on her and the audience is supposed to go “My god, Bella, I didn’t recognize you!”

We then get to the atrocious fight scene, which was somehow worse than I remembered. It was also oddly long for a giant fake out. This scene took significant run time and it turns out to have 0 effect on the plot. And when we get back to the real world, the tonal shift is extreme. You can’t go from Jane being choked, dragged across the snow and face eaten by a wolf to her standing around chilling. We could have skipped it entirely, just had Alice touch Aro’s hand, and he goes “Ah, I see, cheerio.”

The end credits were pretty funny, “here are these random characters with bit parts in previous movies, isn’t this nostalgic?”. Nice try, movie. The fact this came after an extended clip show of the great romance of Edward and Bella, through blurry montage images that failed to be convincing in their original films let alone this one, just made it even more hilarious. Hope you didn’t completely ruin the director’s career, though honestly you should a bit.

5. Breaking Dawn Part One

As you can probably tell by the above entries, the fact that this is the worst one is really saying something. All the movies were hard to watch, but this one required pure strength of will to power through.

The big issue is that Breaking Dawn shouldn’t have been split in the first place. However, it was, and that meant that we got a movie that was almost entirely filler. (Followed, somehow, by a movie that was also largely filler.)

We get everybody preparing for the wedding. What do Mike and Jessica think of Bella and Edward getting married? What’s that, you don’t care? Well, now you know anyway. We get the full wedding, as in the whole fucking thing, including the afterparty. We get Bella and Edward traveling to their island, and there’s filler in the filler where they go clubbing in Rio. We then get every minute detail of the wedding night followed by every minute detail of the honeymoon.

There’s fanservice, and then there’s this. This was live action fanfiction.

NOTHING that in any way is relevant to the story happens, the closest we get is Irina looking stoned. Too bad the Denali’ refusal to help out in Eclipse was cut from the last movie, in fact I’m not sure they were mentioned at all previously in these movies (I think maybe Edward had a one-line reference in Twilight?) so this means nothing to people who haven’t read the books.

We then get to the pregnancy arc, which could have been Rosemary’s Baby but is instead as outrageously boring as the first half of the movie was. The director must have realized as much, because he gives us Jacob’s alpha plot that should have been cut from the movie (yes, I know it was in the books, but the thing about adaptations is that things have to go. For the record, I think Meyer should have cut it too). That subplot was straight out of an anime, by the way. Jacob claiming his ancestral rights as alpha while listing off his titles and the soaring music, was… every shounen anime, ever. Complete with the shitty voice acting.

It was a soul-crushingly boring movie.

-

Something that screws over the last four movies is that they were made to feed the fangirls, and generate revenue because the producers knew the fans were coming to watch the books they liked come to life, so they just had to throw scenes from the books and into the movies and let the magic happen. This is a terrible way to adapt something.

Special shoutout too to having to watch Taylor Lautner run around shirtless in four out of five movies. That was very uncomfortable and none of us needed that in our lives, Lautner included.

Super special shoutout to the fact that we disagree with nearly all the casting.

And this isn’t the post for that, but all of the characters were butchered. Some more than others, and some more insidiously than others. It’s the big things, like Carlisle’s character being turned on its head since he thinks all vampires are damned, exactly the opposite of what he thinks in the books, and the little things, like Jasper and Bella being buddies who bicker fondly in New Moon. 

Then the books:

1. Midnight Sun

HANDS DOWN. This is easily our favorite thing to come out of the entire Twilight franchise.

Edward is every kind of crazy at the same time, all the time, and it makes every single sentence packed with delirious entertainment. Reading this book is having a stroke, a psychotic episode, and watching five different true crime shows all at once. We adore every letter of it. (That’s no exaggeration, we even laughed about Edward capitalizing “Son” when Carlisle refers to him as “son” in conversation.)

The book was more than we’d dared to hope for, one of those rare books that makes you go “This was written just for me.”

2. Twilight

The one that started it all.

Vampires are wonderfully creepy. Things like Bella staring at Carlisle acting like the mundane town doctor shortly after learning just how old he is, Alice explaining how vampires kill all, and the uncanny valley perfection of the Cullens all add to the otherness of these vampires, and the general atmosphere of the book.

The love story is convincing. Edward seen through the eyes of Bella is wonderful, the red flags are there but if it weren’t for the books that followed we wouldn’t have decried the ship the way we do.

3. Eclipse

Breaking Dawn is the more interesting book, but Eclipse has less things we outright don’t like. We get to know all the characters better, Edward and Bella are their usual beautiful selves, and it’s overall peak Twilight.

4. Breaking Dawn

Would have ranked much higher, we like what it did. Without it we wouldn’t be in this fandom now, as it brought so much amazing content. The baby plot is fine by us, Carlisle’s friends are great, the Volturi confrontation is a beautiful, if bleak culmination of preventable events. There’s a lot of great stuff in this book.

Unfortunately, and there’s just no diplomatic way to put this, so I’ll just come out with it: there’s too much Jacob.

He no longer had a reason to be in the story, given the way Eclipse ended he had every reason not to be in it. In spite of that we get an entire third of the book from his point of view, and then damned if he’s not shoehorned into the last third as well. He added absolutely nothing to the story, he was just there taking up space and being possessive of a toddler. His POV section was tough to get through, and his presence in book three was just painful. He should have been cut.

5. New Moon

This was the book we had to power through. There are some very good things in it, most notably the Volturi scene, but the Muffin and I enjoy Twilight for the vampires, and that makes Laurent and Hallucination!Edward the highlights of the part of the book where Edward is gone.

There’s also the fact that Jacob isn’t a very compelling character. He has to carry the book now that the Cullens aren’t doing it, and he simply isn’t up for it.

-

Yes, we’re aware that these books are ranked according to how much Jacob is in them. We don’t even hate him, not at all, it’s just that he’s boring.

(That being said, the books at their worst are better than the movies at their best. Jacob narrating his perfect playdate with Renesmée would still be preferable to… I’m trying to think of a good scene from the movies. Hm, nevermind.)

As for The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner and Life and Death, only I have read Bree Tanner and I don’t remember it well enough to give a proper assessment. I was bored with the OCs, though, bored to tears, throughout that book I was itching for Victoria and the Cullens. We have not read Life and Death, but we’re offended by its existence so it ranks bottom.