#i never stopped watching but the fandom got a little too overwhelming at times so i had to take a step back

[moonxknightx]

♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ : BOUND BY DESIRE : :;

╰┈➤ ❝ [PAIRING] ❞ Dark!Logan Howlett x F!Reader

・❥・GENRE: Smut

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆FANDOM: X-Men

ੈ✩‧₊˚ WARNINGS: Explicit, 18+, smut, cheating, piv, unprotected sex, choking, perv!Logan, fingering, rough, reader is married

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥SUMMARY: Logan, your possessive neighbor, has been obsessed with you for a long time, believing your husband doesn’t deserve you. One afternoon, he confronts you, confessing his feelings and insisting you belong to him. Despite your initial resistance, you're drawn to his intensity. Logan kisses you, his dark desire overwhelming, claiming you as his. You’re caught between the weight of your marriage and the dangerous pull of his obsession.

Based on this request

YOU ARE STANDING IN FRONT OF YOUR YARD, completely unaware of the piercing gaze watching you from across the road. Logan’s house isn’t far, tucked just out of sight, but he never stays hidden for long. He can’t. Not when you’re so close.

He stands at his window, gaze fixed on you, fingers twitching at his sides as he fights the urge to cross the street. He knows he shouldn’t. He knows. But it’s impossible to ignore the pull you have over him. His senses are too sharp, too attuned to everything about you—the way your perfume mixes with the air, the soft sound of your laughter when you speak to your husband, the faint trace of your skin beneath it all. It drives him insane.

You’re married. His wife. That thought alone should stop him, should have ended his obsession the moment it began. And yet, here he is. Day after day, watching you, needing you more than he’s ever needed anything before.

A soft laugh escapes your lips as you turn to talk to your husband, and Logan's jaw tightens. He hates the sight of him next to you, touching you, talking to you as if he deserves you. Logan knows deep down that the man doesn’t. Not the way Logan does. He can smell the tension in your house, the arguments that come and go like the changing wind. He knows your marriage isn’t perfect. You aren’t perfect.

But you’re his.

Logan’s thoughts grow darker, swirling around the ways he could make it all disappear. How easy it would be to tear your husband from your life. He’s imagined it before. Too many times. The fantasies slip into his mind late at night when he’s alone—how he could end it in an instant, erase the man from your world, make you his, truly his.

Logan shakes the thoughts away, but the damage is done. The idea is there, burning at the back of his mind like a fire that refuses to die. His fingers flex again, and this time he doesn’t hold back. He grabs his jacket, strides to the door, and steps outside before he can think twice.

You don’t see him coming. You’re too distracted, lost in a conversation with your husband, who’s leaning against the porch railing, sipping a drink, oblivious to the danger that’s lurking just beyond the corner of his eye. But Logan is there in seconds, crossing the yard with an unhurried ease that belies the tension coiled in his body.

“Logan?” you ask, startled as he approaches. You smile, and his chest tightens. You have no idea.

“Hey.” His voice is rougher than usual, his eyes flicking between you and the man standing too close for his liking. “Thought I’d drop by. You got a minute?”

Your husband glances at Logan, clearly unimpressed by the intrusion, but you don’t seem to mind. You shrug, smile a little more, completely unaware of the way Logan’s eyes linger on you a beat too long.

“I guess so. What’s up?”

Logan’s eyes lock on yours, the weight of his stare making your breath hitch for just a moment. There’s something different about him today—something darker, something hungry. The tension between him and your husband is thick, but you ignore it, as usual. You’ve always gotten along with Logan. He’s your friendly, quiet neighbor, a little rough around the edges but kind enough. If you ever sensed something more beneath the surface, you pushed it away.

Now, though… now it’s hard to ignore.

Your husband straightens, eyes narrowing as Logan steps a little closer. “Can it wait, Logan? We’re kinda in the middle of something.”

Logan’s jaw ticks, but he keeps his voice calm, almost too calm. “Wasn’t talkin’ to you.”

The words hang in the air, thick with unspoken meaning. Your husband stiffens, but before he can respond, you step in, sensing the brewing storm. “It’s fine,” you say quickly, trying to diffuse the situation. “What do you need, Logan?”

Logan’s eyes never leave yours as he takes another step, close enough now that you can feel the heat radiating off him, smell the faint scent of leather and wood smoke clinging to his jacket. Your heart skips a beat.

“I need to talk to you. Alone.”

You glance back at your husband, who’s glaring at Logan now, suspicion written all over his face. But something in Logan’s tone, in the intensity of his gaze, makes it impossible for you to refuse. There’s a pull there, a magnetism you can’t quite explain.

“I’ll be right back,” you say, trying to keep your voice light, casual, but the tension crackles in the air as you follow Logan down the front steps, away from the porch, out of earshot and sight from your husband.

Once you’re far enough, you stop, crossing your arms over your chest as you turn to face him. “What’s this about, Logan? You’re acting—”

“Different?” he interrupts, his voice low, gravelly, but there’s an edge to it, something simmering just beneath the surface.

Your breath catches as he steps closer, invading your space, his gaze locking onto yours with a heat that sends a shiver down your spine. “Logan—”

“I see the way he treats you,” Logan growls, his voice dark, dangerous. “The way he doesn’t appreciate you. You think I haven’t noticed? You deserve better than him.”

You take a step back, your heart racing. “Logan, this isn’t—”

“He doesn’t deserve you,” Logan cuts you off, his voice dropping to a husky whisper as he reaches out, his fingers brushing your arm. The touch is electric, sending a jolt through your body. You should pull away. You should push him back, tell him to stop, but you don’t. You can’t.

“You’re mine,” Logan whispers, his voice rough, possessive. “You’ve always been mine.”

You know you should leave. You should turn around and go back to your husband, pretend this never happened. But there’s a part of you—dark, twisted, hidden deep beneath the surface—that doesn’t want to.

Because some part of you has always been his too.

The tension between you and Logan hums in the air, thick enough to suffocate. His eyes are burning into yours, his chest rising and falling as if he’s trying to contain himself. You should walk away right now.

You know that. Your husband is just a few steps away, but somehow, he feels like a distant memory compared to the weight of Logan’s presence pressing down on you.

His hand lingers on your arm, the rough texture of his calloused skin sending a ripple of heat through you.

You take in a shaky breath, willing yourself to say something, anything that might pull you out of this. But Logan is too close, too intense, and the words dissolve on your tongue before they can form.

“Logan, we can’t—” you start, but it’s a weak attempt at resistance, and you both know it.

“Why not?” he murmurs, his voice low, almost a growl as his fingers slide up to your shoulder, then your neck, his thumb brushing along your jaw. It’s a gentle touch, but there’s something possessive about it, something that sends a thrill down your spine.

You swallow hard, your throat dry as you try to focus, to remember who you are and what’s at stake. “I’m married,” you say, the words coming out more like a plea than a statement.

His eyes darken at the mention of your husband, his lips curling into a sneer. “Not for long,” he mutters under his breath, barely loud enough for you to hear. Then, without warning, he leans in closer, his breath warm against your ear as he whispers, “You know you don’t belong with him.”

You close your eyes, trying to block out the way his words sink into you, the truth of them

twisting in your gut. You’ve known for a while that things between you and your husband have been strained. But that doesn’t mean this is right. Doesn’t mean you should want this.

And yet… you do.

“I see you,” Logan says, his voice rough, like he’s holding back something dangerous. His hand moves to the small of your back, pulling you closer until your bodies are almost flush. “I’ve seen the way he treats you, the way he takes you for granted. You think I don’t know?”

Your breath quickens as his lips brush against your ear, the nearness of him intoxicating.

You can feel the heat radiating off him, feel the barely-contained tension in his muscles, and it’s like standing on the edge of a cliff. One wrong move and you’ll fall.

But falling doesn’t feel like such a bad idea anymore.

“Logan…” you whisper, though you’re not sure if it’s a warning or an invitation.

He doesn’t give you time to figure it out. His mouth crashes down on yours with a force that steals your breath, his hand gripping the back of your neck as he pulls you into the kiss. It’s not soft or slow—there’s no pretense of gentleness here. It’s all fire, all need, raw and unrestrained.

Your mind screams at you to stop, but your body betrays you, melting into him, your hands reaching up to clutch his jacket as if he’s the only solid thing keeping you grounded. His other hand slides down your waist, his fingers digging into your hip with a possessiveness that makes your head spin.

When you gasp for air, he uses it to deepen the kiss, his tongue claiming yours with a hunger that feels like it’s been building for years. And maybe it has. Maybe you’ve felt this pull between you and Logan for longer than you’ve ever let yourself admit.

The thought should scare you. It should make you stop. But all you feel is heat, overwhelming and impossible to ignore.

Logan growls low in his throat, the sound vibrating against your lips as he pushes you back, guiding you toward the wall of your house. Your back hits the rough brick, and a gasp escapes your mouth, but it’s lost as Logan’s lips find yours again, his hands everywhere—your waist, your neck, your hair—as if he can’t get enough of you. Like he’s afraid you’ll disappear if he lets go.

“I’ve wanted this,” he rasps against your lips, his breath ragged. “Wanted you. And you want it too.” It’s not a question. He knows, just like you do. You can feel the truth of it in the way your body responds to him, in the way your pulse races beneath his touch.

But there’s a dark edge to his voice now, something possessive, dangerous, and it sends a chill down your spine even as you shiver from his heat.

You pull back just enough to look up at him, your breath coming in short, uneven bursts. His eyes are wild, a storm of emotions swirling just beneath the surface—desire, anger, and something darker, something territorial. It scares you, but it thrills you too, the weight of his obsession pressing down on you like a vice.

“You belong to me,” he growls, his voice thick with conviction. “Not him. Me.”

You open your mouth to protest, but he silences you with another kiss, this one softer but no less intense.

His lips move against yours with a bruising tenderness, like he’s staking his claim, branding you with every touch.

When he finally pulls away, his forehead presses against yours, and you can feel his breath, hot and uneven, mingling with yours in the small space between you.

“You know it, don’t you?” he whispers, his voice low and rough. “You’re mine. Always have been.”

Your heart pounds in your chest, every part of you torn between the rational voice screaming in the back of your mind and the overwhelming need that’s taken hold of your body.

You’re standing on a knife’s edge, one step away from shattering everything.

But with Logan this close, his hands still on your body, his lips hovering just inches from yours, you can’t seem to find the strength to care.

“Come with me.” Logan whispers while taking your hand in his, pulling you towards his house without your husband seeing it.

“Logan…” You breathe, but Logan ignores you as he led you through his house, pulling you into his bedroom.

“I’m going to show you how you should be treated.” Logan smirks before pushing you down onto his bed, immediately climbing on top of you.

He wraps one of his hands around your throat while covering your face with kisses.

“Logan…” You whimper, arching your back. Logan just chuckles while reaching for your skirt with his free hand. He bunches up the fabric and starts stroking your clothed pussy.

“I can already feel you dripping.” Logan smirks before pushing your panties to the side, slowly sliding two of his fingers through your folds.

“Oh f-fuck…” You moan as your mouth falls open. “Yeah you like that?” Logan smiles, slowly inserting one of his fingers into your hole, filling you up.

“Fuck you’re so tight. Does your husband not fuck you enough?” Logan asks with a grin. You try to roll your eyes at him but the feeling of his finger fucking you feels to good.

“More…” You whimper. Logan listens and adds a second finger in your pussy.

“Fuck Logan!” Logan just smirks while putting some more pressure on your throat. He leans in and captures your lips in a passionate heated kiss.

You could feel Logan’s cock throbbing against the inside of your thigh. You try to move your hips but Logan keeps you down. “Hold on sweet girl.” Logan says before reaching for his belt, unbuckling it with one hand before pulling them down with his boxers.

You could feel his cock slapping against your pussy while he pulled down your tanktop, revealing your tits.

“I need more…” You say softly, trying to focus while Logan kept fucking you with his fingers.

“I know. You must be needing more after that pathetic husband of you keeps you dissatisfied.” Logan scoffs, stroking his cock as he leans down to press kisses in between your tits.

“Don’t talk about my husband like that.” You manage to say between moans, making Logan laugh. “Or what?” He replies.

When you don’t give him an answer, Logan aligns his cock at your entrance while looking down at you, his gaze unreadable.

“You’re mine, okay? Mine.” Logan tells you before pushing his cock in, filling your pussy.

“Oh God!” You moan as you throw your head back against the pillows.

Logan closes his eyes for a moment, trying to control himself as he feels your walls clench around him.

“You feel amazing.” Logan says. “So fucking tight.” He groans as he places both of his hands next to your face, slowly rocking his hips forward.

You dig your nails into Logan’s back, causing him to groan as he speeds up his thrusts.

“So pretty like this. Taking another man’s cock. What would your husband think of you when he finds out?” Logan mocks as he holds up one of your legs, making you take him deeper.

You know you should geel guilty, but somehow you just don’t. You are too lost in all the pleasure to care. And Logan knows.

Suddenly Logan grabs your hips and switches positions, making you ride him while he’s playing with your tits.

You bounce up and down his cock while Logan bites his lip, looking at how his cock keeps disappearing in your cunt.

“So fucking sexy.” He murmurs while rubbing your clit with one of his hands.

“L-Logan…Fuck,” You moan as you throw your head back in pleasure. “Go on, keep fucking yourself on my cock, darlin’.” Logan groans, forcing your hips down onto his cock, making him hit the perfect spot.

“I’m close…” You announce, placing one of your hands on Logan’s chest for leverage.

“Go on then, sweetheart. Come on my cock.” Logan smirks as he starts thrusting up into you. You let out a deep moan while digging your nails into his chest.

Soon, you are a shuddering mess as you come undone on his cock. “Logan!,” You moan, collapsing onto Logan while you’re milking his dick.

Logan immediately wraps his arms around your waist while pounding into you. You start whimpering, telling him it was too much, but Logan doesn’t care. He keeps sliding his cock in and out of your pussy until he almost comes.

“Oh baby, i’m going to fill you up with my cum. I bet your husband would love that.” He chuckles darkly, pounding into you a few more times until he comes inside of you. You moan softly at the feeling of him filling you up.

“Oh fucking hell.” Logan breathes as he slowly calms down. He doesn’t pull out, he just pulls you even closer to him while stroking your back.

“You belong with me.” He says quietly. You hum at his words, too tired to say anything else.

You and Logan stay like that for a while. Just cuddling in bed, until you realize how late it is.

“Shit i have to get back. He’ll start wondering where i am.” You say, panicking as you quickly get off of Logan.

Logan watches as you fix your clothes. Pulling your skirt back down and your top up. You walk over to Logan’s mirror and quickly fix your hair.

Suddenly, Logan is behind you. His hands are on your waist as he lays his chin on your shoulder.

“Come back here tonight.” He sighs. “I can’t Logan. We shouldn’t have done this. It isn’t fair.” You tell him.

Logan laughs while shaking his head. “Do you know what isn’t fair? You being with someone who doesn’t appreciate you enough.” You roll your eyes at his words, but deep down you know he’s right.

“I have to go Logan.” You tell him again. Logan nods and guides you to the front door of his small house.

“At least try to come back tonight. It will be worth it.” Logan says, smirking slightly. You give him a small smile while nodding. “I’ll try.”

Logan quickly leans in and presses a kiss to your forehead before watching you walk back to your own house.

When you walk into the living room, you see your husband sitting on the couch, watching TV. His eyes immediately fall upon you.

“What did he want from you? You’ve been almost gone for an hour.” He asks. You just shrug your shoulders while heading to the kitchen.

“He needed some help with his backyard. Didn’t know how to plant the flowers, so i helped him.” You lie.

“Mhm such a strange guy.” Your husband murmurs, returning his focus back to the TV.

“Yeah… tell me about it.” You mumble under your breath while looking at the back of your husband, still feeling Logan’s cum leak out of you.

🏷️: @twinky-wink @fidgetingbee @astarions-girl-dinner @layladestiny8 @birdy-bat-writes @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @wolviesgirl @slowlikehoneyyy

If you want to be added to the tag list, let me know!!

[crazylittlejester]

damn posting fics this early feels crazy, i’m rarely even awake this time of day

Summary: Warriors takes Wind out scouting him because the little sailor found himself unable to sit still and he needed an outlet for his energy. It’s a good thing Wars wasn’t alone, his blood sugar dips too low and he didn’t bring himself any snacks

-

A wave of dizziness slammed into him hard enough to leave him breathless and Warriors crouched down with a groan, lifting one hand to his aching head while the other shot out to the ground in front of him, stabilizing him so he didn’t fall over. He had incorrectly guessed his head was hurting him due to exhaustion, but the rising nausea and heat in the back of his neck just confirmed his new theory. He needed to eat something.

“Cap’n?” Wind called, turning around and walking towards him.

The two of them had headed off alone to explore the area around camp and scout for enemies, but also the walk was giving the little sailor a much needed chance to get all his extra energy out. The kid found it impossible to sit still, and his need to move around constantly had started to overwhelm some of the others who were looking for a moment to relax, so Warriors had volunteered to take the pirate with him while he searched the area. It had been going great, he loved listening to the kid talk, but he’d started feeling a bit off a while back and had stupidly decided to ignore it.

Warriors was forced to sit down properly on the ground when his arm started shaking, no longer able to prevent him from tipping over, and he hung his head with a sigh. He didn’t think it was so bad yet that he should lay down, but as he brushed his hand off on his trousers he couldn’t help but notice he was swaying a bit.

“Ye be needin’ sugar, right?” Wind asked him. The soft brown eyes staring at him were full of worry as the little sailor blindly dug through his pack with a determined look. “That’s why ye suddenly be lookin’ so pale?”

The captain nodded, grateful at least one of them had brought a bag. Warriors had stashed two red potions in his belt and brought everything else they possibly could’ve needed on a short walk, except for any kind of food. He felt like an idiot, being so irresponsible that he was relying on a thirteen year old to save his ass because he hadn’t thought to bring food or eat a little something before they left. Time would never let him hear the end of it when they got back to camp.

Warriors had to close his eyes to try to fight off the nausea, but he couldn’t stop his eyebrows from furrowing in concern as Wind’s rummaging through his bag started to sound more and more violent. Little curses met his ears and he cracked an eye open to find Wind elbow deep in his pack, glaring at the contents of it as if they’d betrayed him somehow. He couldn’t help but let out an amused snort, earning him an exasperated look from the kid.

The pirate eventually found an orange and pulled it out with a triumphant laugh, handing it to Warriors before digging around for a second one. It didn’t take him nearly as long to find his own orange as it had to find the first one, and once he’d grabbed it, Wind tossed his bag to the side and sat down next to Warriors with a tired sigh.

As he peeled his fruit, he watched Wind curiously as the boy furiously picked at his, grumbling under his breath as he tried to create a starting point in the peel.

His brother caught him staring and blinked up at him. “I know it’s hard for ye to eat sometimes and I didn’t want ye to be feelin’ like I was just watching, so I’m eating with ye!”

Warriors breath caught in his throat, he couldn’t stop the tears from welling up in his eyes and he froze. Assassination attempts had made his relationship with food and eating very complicated, and many times he found himself starving because his anxiety got too bad. Oranges were a safe food for him, their peel making it hard for them to be tampered with. He knew it wasn’t impossible to poison an orange, but that extra layer between his food and the outside world made him feel more comfortable. Though even the feeling of safety brought to him by eating the fruit wasn’t enough to quell all his anxiety if he was the only one eating. It was hard to eat when he was the only one and people were staring at him, he felt much more comfortable eating with the others even if it was hard for him to eat the same thing they were eating some days, and he felt ridiculous about it.

He didn’t know how to feel that not only had Wind noticed something the captain tried to hide, but the little sailor had gone out of his way to help him and comfort him.

Warriors gently took the orange from his brother, pressing the side of his nail firmly into the peel and creating a small hole in it before handing it back to the kid so Wind could finish peeling it on his own.

“I really like oranges,” his brother told him after a few seconds of silence had passed between them, popping a slice into his mouth. “They be good fer preventin’ scurvy. Ye don’t be wantin’ that, it sucks.”

Warriors let out a wet laugh, blinking away the spots in his vision and laying down while he ate his own fruit. He listened to Wind talk on and on about his great love for citrus, which eventually turned into a story about his adventures, until the captain felt he could maybe sit upright again without being worried he’d faint. He’d definitely have to eat more when they returned to camp, but for now he’d be okay for the walk back.

“Ye be lookin’ better,” Wind told him, pointing at the captain’s face. “Yer lips were gray an’ it made you look all wrong.”

He slowly blinked at the pirate for a few seconds, head still a bit fuzzy. “Yeah that happens sometimes.”

“Ye be alright?”

“I will be,” Warriors smiled softly at him as he pushed himself up off the ground so he was sitting upright again, relieved to discover he didn’t feel like he’d pass out. His heart ached a bit when the sailor visibly relaxed seeing the color back in his face. “Sorry for worrying you, bud.”

“Eh, don’t worry about it. You good to go back?” Wind asked with a wide grin. “I be wantin’ to bother the old man.”

“Sounds good,” Warriors rolled his eyes fondly, ruffling the kid’s hair and pulling him close in a hug.

The sailor shrieked and screamed, giggling when the captain’s thin fingers dug into his sides.

“AY! NEXT TIME I BE LEAVIN’ YER ASS IN THE DIRT!” Wind squeaked as Warriors laughed.

He let the kid go and Wind scrambled to his feet, hands on his hips as he glared down at the captain. Warriors was still laughing as he pushed himself up, stumbling only a little once he was upright.

When the pirate wrapped an arm around his waist to steady him as they walked back, Warriors pressed a kiss to his brother’s soft blond curls.

“Thanks,” he whispered.

“Any time, Cap’n,” Wind grinned up at him, squeezing him a little tighter.

[klbwriting]

Our Strange Duet

Chapter 3: Not Alone

Fandom: Red Hood

Pairing: Jason Todd x f!reader

Warnings: angst

Summary: audition time

Taglist: @deans-spinster-witch @amberpanda99

You're not alone. No one is alone - Into The Woods

The day of auditions Jason sought out YN after lit class, wanting to make sure she wasn't nervous. They hadn't been avoiding each other but it was a little awkward now, YN thinking she revealed too much and Jason wishing he could reveal more to her. He was working on it, opening himself up, but he was still terrified of putting himself out there again, especially with her. He knew that her mother getting accepted to that cancer program had been once in a lifetime, a last ditch effort to save her life, and that YN had to go with her but he still felt hurt, like she had let him down by leaving him. So many people abandoned him in his life and she was one of them now, and every time he wanted to throw himself off the ledge for her he froze at the edge, wondering if she would disappear again. He had asked Dick about it and of course Dick wanted him to take the leap, have faith in her, keep himself open, basically don't turn into Bruce. His therapist had a similar view but he also said that Jason had to make the decision himself because it wouldn't be fair to either of them for him to try and force himself into anything he wasn't ready for, it would only end in worse heartbreak. So here he was, following her out of the classroom, grabbing her arm in the hall, making her jump and yelp.

"Sorry!" he said, letting her go. She took a breath to calm down and nodded, giving him a smile. "I just wanted to see how you were? Auditions are later, are you nervous?" She nodded again.

"Ya, honestly I've never done a musical before, Gotham Academy looked down their snooty noses at them, plus I'm not exactly a very operatic singer. I think I'll probably end up being stage crew," she said. Jason frowned, not sure what he was hearing.

"I think you'll be amazing," he said. "And if you don't get a part they are idiots." She blushed a little and smiled at him, reaching out to take his hand like it was second nature, but stopped the moment her fingers brushed his, pulling back. He wasn't hers anymore, she couldn't just grab his hand whenever she wanted. She had left him, hurt him, and she couldn't expect him to just fall back in step with her because she wanted it. She dropped her hand by her side, but then he reached out and gently took her hand, squeezing it.

"Jason..." she said, not wanting him to force himself to do this.

"YN," he said in her same tone. She narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips and he felt the overwhelming urge to kiss her. He loved her slightly annoyed face, he loved all of her faces, but that love had that twinge of fear and hurt so he kept himself from moving closer to her. "I don't want you to think that you can't be honest with me, that you can't depend on me still. No matter what happened before I'm still your friend, still here for you and if you need to hold my hand for any reason you can." She nodded.

"Thank you," she said. "I have another class, see you before auditions?" He nodded and let her go, swearing that she walked away with his heart in her hands again.

As promised YN waited inside the auditorium, ten minutes early, for Jason to arrive. She was standing there singing to herself, making sure she enunciated her words, loosening her mouth up to prepare. She watched the door so much that a nearby theater member noticed.

"Got someone coming to see you?" she asked. YN looked over, blushing a little. "I'm Halle."

"I'm YN, and am I that obvious?" she asked. Halle laughed a little. Then Jason walked in and YN's eyes snapped to his and she smiled again. He looked annoyed, but when he saw her smiled back at her.

"O, I see now," Halle said. YN didn't move as Jason put his things down in the rows of chairs. She seemed frozen to the spot, doubts flowing through her head. That smile of his, the one he seemed to save for her, broke her heart now. What if she messed up? What if he ran this time? What if everything fell apart again and he was hurt? She was back in December when she had told him she was leaving, the way his face turned to hurt, she had become his father, his mother, Bruce, another on a list of people who left him. She hated being on that list. "Go get him," Halle muttered. YN snapped back to the present and nodded, willing herself to walk over to him. Nothing was holding her back from him this time, she could stay as long as he wanted her too. This time if he wanted rid of her he would have to leave her. She walked over to him, leaning on the back of the chair in front of him.

"You nervous?" she asked this time. He shook his head, but she saw his fists clenching and unclenching, and his eyes were a little green. "What happened?" she asked. That green only came around when he was feeling angry.

"Nothing," he said, trying to push down his emotions. On the way over he had read an article about Bruce Wayne's newest rescue puppy, Tim Drake. His rich parents had been killed and now he was an orphan and Bruce gallantly swept in to adopt him, the very picture of altruism. What a fucking joke. He was trying to keep himself from running, he needed theater, needed to be someone else right now, not run and hide somewhere. By the time his song was done he would be able to think clearly, just like always. He looked YN, seeing the worry on her face. "After auditions I'll talk to you ok? Right now I just...need to not be Jason." She nodded, this time reaching out and squeezing his hand. She held it for just a moment, supporting him.

Auditions started and men were first, Jason watching the upperclassmen preform before the freshmen. He focused on his song, getting into the phantom's headspace. He had watched anything he could find for this show over the last week, the movie, youtube videos of the live musical, the original black and white movie, anything to really dissect the phantom. He'd even read the book, only getting halfway through before auditions, but he would finish it. He was ready, he was getting this part and he would once again play a madman behind a mask. He did that almost every night now, should be easy.

"Jason Todd," the director said. He climbed on stage, hooking up his phone to the speakers for music. He swallowed hard before slipping on his new skin, body hunching a little, making himself look intimidating, but he looked down, hiding the half of his face with the scar on it, like he was ashamed of that part of his face. He became Erik, in love with someone who he could never have, someone who loved someone else more, he was a beast, he wasn't worthy of love.

"Nighttime sharpens, heightens each sensation, Darkness stirs and wakes imagination, Silently the senses abandon their defenses..." he began singing, and before he knew it the song was ending. This was surprising, no one else had been allowed to do the full song. He had expected them to use the little buzzer they had to stop him, but they hadn't. He had finished the song, going to his phone and disconnecting it. "Thank you." He walked off stage to two people in the crowd standing and clapping, YN and Dick, who must have snuck in one the auditions had already started. They looked so proud of him and he couldn't lie, he was proud of himself. Bruce was wrong, he wasn't replaceable to everyone. He waved to Dick who looked like he might burst, before going and sitting next to YN. Another freshmen finished and they said there would be a five minute break before the lady's auditions started. Jason stood, YN following him back to see Dick who hugged his brother.

"If you aren't the phantom I'm putting you in another school, this place doesn't deserve you," he said. Jason blushed, still not used to his brother being this way. Dick had changed also since he had moved in, he wasn't as cold as he had been when he first met Jason. He probably felt similar to how Jason felt now, seeing Tim Drake take his place, but the difference was that Bruce had eventually forced them together, making sure they became brothers, such good brothers that Dick had dug up his body to bring him back. Jason still wasn't sure why Dick did it, and he never told him, but he loved him for it. He let Dick hug him before turning to YN.

"What did you think?" he asked. Her eyes sparkled when she looked at him and he melted just a little.

"You were magic Jason, honestly," she said. "I can't wait to see you actually being Erik on stage." He broke down and hugged her after that. She clung to him and he felt the wall he build around himself chipping away, whole columns coming down at the feeling of her holding him again. She pulled back when they called for the lady's and headed up front. She stood next to Halle and they wished each other lucky.

It was the same format, upperclassmen first, and Jason could see YN started to get nervous as every other performer did a song from the show. It was the during the third rendition of Think of Me that he snuck up to the front, passing a note into YN's hand before sneaking back to sit in the exact middle of the theater. She looked at the note and opened it.

At least you stand out, you're amazing, sing to me, I know you'll kill it

She turned and found him. He smiled at her and waved. She waved back, reading the note a couple more times before her name was called. She went on stage, rolling out the portable piano that was kept backstage for band rehearsals. She sat down and introduced herself and her song.

"I'll be singing Driver's License, not the original but the Lewis Capaldi cover," she explained. The director nodded slowly, a small smile coming to her face. YN took a breath, not sure what that smile meant but she began, playing flawlessly as she slipped into character. She was heartbroken, she didn't need much to slip back into that state of mind, but she was still holding on that she might be with him again, which was also on her mind. She would pour herself into this, make them believe that even if she couldn't hit the high notes, she was still worth having in the show just for her acting abilities. She caught Jason's eye as they kept letting her sing, not buzzing her out right away either. As the song continued she found Jason in the auditorium, baring herself to him again, knowing he could bring out her best.

Red lights, stop signs I still see your face in the white cars, front yards Can't drive past the places we used to go Cause I still fucking love you

She finished the song and stood, moving the piano back. She bowed her head to them.

"Thank you," she said, going to join the others. Jason slunk back over to her, once again amazing her with how such a big guy could be so quiet when he moved. He sat next to her and smiled.

"You were amazing," he said. "They let you finish." She nodded, but she knew, she wasn't going to be the star, but maybe she could do something else, she was pretty sure that the director was listening to her piano skills more than her singing. After the others were finished they were dismissed, they would get an email with the cast list by Sunday.

Outside they stood, watching as the other theater members went back to their dorms or apartments. Dick said bye and told Jason to be home soon, they had something to do. YN knew that was code for 'taking out big bad criminals with our super secret identities' so she didn't ask follow up questions.

"You know, if you're out and about and you need help you can come to my place again," she said. Jason nodded, smiling at her. "And I look forward to seeing your name at the top of the cast list."

"Talk to you later?" he asked. She nodded, reaching out to him again, this time moving into his arms easily, hugging him close. He settled into her again, another piece of armor being dislodged. "Can we meet up this weekend? I want to talk to you again, just us this time." She nodded.

"Anytime your free I'll be free."

[areyoudreaminof]

Dreams That Answer: A Feysand Playlist

Happy @officialfeysandweek2023! Day 1!

Would any of us be here were it not for Feysand? Would we be goofing around in this fandom if we didn’t love Feyre from the moment she took down the wolf? Would we be such simps if we hadn’t ever read, “Hello Feyre, darling.”? I love them. I love their journey and their growth. I love their blunders and mistakes. The very best kind of epic love story is the one that takes the most time and struggle, but defies all odds. Feyre and Rhys forever, baby! This is especially dedicated to the queen of all Feysand's @the-lonelybarricade.

If my initial character playlists for Feyre and Rhysand represent them as individuals before they meet each other, this playlist is when they come together. I wanted to show their strong bond and love for one another. So LISTEN HERE, and come on behind the cut for lyrics!

After Hours-The Weeknd

Thought I almost died in my dream again Fightin' for my life, I couldn't breathe again I'm fallin' in too deep Without you, I can't sleep 'Cause my heart belongs to you I'll risk it all for you I want you next to me This time, I'll never leave

Arabesque-Coldplay

I could be you, you could be me Two raindrops in the same sea You could be me, I could be you Two angles of the same view And we share the same blood

Holiest-Glass Animals & Tei Shi

Climb until you're getting high Be a part of the scene like you're living your dream Walk the room like you're on fire Like your chasing the truth, gripping tight to your youth

But you're the holiest thing I know Yes, you're the holiest thing, holiest thing I know

Eavesdrop-The Civil Wars

Let’s let the stars watch, let them stare Let the wind eavesdrop, I don’t care For all that we’ve got, don’t let go Just hold me I can’t pull you closer than this It’s just you and the moon on my skin Oh, who says it ever has to end?

Fade Into You-Mazzy Star

I wanna take the breath that's true I look to you and I see nothing I look to you to see the truth You live your life, you go in shadows You'll come apart and you'll go blind Some kind of night into your darkness Colored your eyes with what's not there

Night Terror-Laura Marling

If I look back and he is screaming I'd left him dreaming; a dangerous feat And I'll run back and shake him tightly And scream, "If they want him, oh, they're gonna have to fight me Oh, fight me"

Starry Eyed-Ellie Goulding

So we burst into colors, colors and carousels Fall head first like paper planes and playground games

Next thing, we're touching You look at me, it's like you hit me with lightning Oh, everybody's starry-eyed And everybody glows

Empire-Of Monsters and Men

I find comfort in the sound and the shape of the heart How it echoes through the chest from under the ground As the hills turn into holes, I fill them with gold Heavy stones fear no weather And from the rain Comes a river running wild that will create An empire for you Illuminate There's a river running wild that will create An empire for you

But You-Alexandra Savior

Speak soft, speak slight now, honey It feels a little empty in the night now, honey Drift back, drift right down on me I know that you can feel it 'Cause nobody else can heal it but you

Hold Back The River-James Bay

Lonely water, lonely water won't you let us wander? Let us hold each other Hold back the river, let me look in your eyes Hold back the river so I Can stop for a minute and be by your side Hold back the river, hold back

Only In My Dreams-The Maria's

Baby stay here The whispers in the trees Are getting near You're everything I need To bare this fear The demons in my bed They're always here It's only just a dream

Lips-Marian Hill

Overwhelmed, hazy eyes Staring at tinted skies And I like, what we do Running wild, just us two

Can't Deny My Love-Brandon Flowers

What's going on in your head now? Maybe something I said? I know that you've been living in the past

Locked up in your room is there any room for me? In the spoils of your mercy In the reverence of your bed In the cradle of the morning What was it that you said?

telepatia-Kali Uchis (please note, much of this song is in Spanish)

You know that I can see right through you I can read your mind, I can read your mind What you wanna do? It's written all over your face, times two 'Cause I can read your mind, I can read your mind I can hear your thoughts like a melody

Wild Green-Foals

Spring is on its way now, lilac April rain Mayfly spreads its wings at the end of a day Let me fold myself in the corner of a day Never leave, never leave, let me stay Let me lay my head down, let me while away Holding back the hours, I'll keep them all at bay Let me fold myself in the corner of a day Before the rain comes and washes us away

Sea of Love-Cat Power

Come with me, my love To the sea The sea of love I want to tell you How much I love you

Ultralife-Oh Wonder

Days passed slowly, lost and low You gave me hope and now there's only Blood running in my veins I've never been here before And I got love falling like the rain I never could've asked for more I got so much soul inside my bones Take a look at me now I'm young, forever in the sun

Cosmic Love-Florence + the Machine

I took the stars from our eyes, and then I made a map And knew that somehow I could find my way back Then I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too So I stayed in the darkness with you

taglist: @wilde-knight @c-e-d-dreamer @climb-the-mountian @damedechance @eyllweambassador @gaeleria @itsthedoodle @kataravimes-of-the-shire @krem-does-stuff @kingofsummer93 @lidiacervos @labellefleur-sauvage @lucienarcheron @octobers-veryown @popjunkie42-blog @reverie-tales @rosanna-writer @spell-cleavers @separatist-apologist @thesistersarcheron @ultadverb @asnowfern @ablogofsapphicpanic @vulpes-fennec @velidewrites @melting-houses-of-gold @wittyrejoinder @bagelfyre @xtaketwox @brieq @thelovelymadone

[file-unknown24]

Simply put, thank you all for everything

I had planned to do this since this morning, though, I knew I was going to get a bit emotional about this, so, I decided to wait instead. I'm sadly now feeling sick on top of being tired which I've been all day due to staying up till past midnight for the tour I went on with Curtis, though that's my fault, no one said I had to do it last night, yet I did it anyways.

I'm getting off track though. I know you all are quite busy and can't look at everything you're tagged in, which is why I wrote the title as I did, that way you got the main idea of what this was and didn't need to read all of it.

Now, the thing is, this is going to be very lengthy.

I wanted to thank you more then just through my asks since my ask really doesn't show just how thankful I am for all of you.

This will get emotional (at least for me) a little personal too.

I had rehearsed this, though I'm really not one for planning things all the way through, otherwise it gets overwhelming for me, so, this will probably be a lot of rambling too since I'm really just writing this as I think of it.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! You can click under the cut to continue reading

(If I did that wrong, just know that this is my first time putting the continue reading thing there)

Now then! Let's get into the actual part of this. I will say this now, you all have inspired me all in different ways, though all in one same way too.

I will say, I'm a shut in. I stopped really taking the steps to talk to people, to even step out to my front porch, around when I was 12. There's a reason for this, though that's a bit to personal, so, I'll keep that to myself.

I was homeschooled, so I've never been to a school, so I don't have that, I am not that social in the regards of, I don't really like going outside and going out of my way to talk to complete strangers.

When I was 12, I also began watching games and being on youtube. I was on Wattpad for a while, eventually, the first thing I tried with sharing anything I created was with this book on Wattpad.

I had this idea of making a story about Y/N, though not YOU at Y/N. The reader was meant to slowly figure out that they weren't the main character within the story, they were only in the comments of the story and could actually interact with the main character Y/N.

because of this, it had nothing that would actually bring people to read it since it wasn't based on anything, it was it's own thing. At this time though, I was looking for a place to really just be accepted, and when no one did anything with this book, I felt I wasn't accepted, so, I stopped writing for it and eventually deleted it all together.

This was my first taste of trying to put out my ideas, to share them with others, and, to me at least, it turned out poorly. I have done many things, gone many places to share what I make, to share my ideas.

I did Wattpad, I did Pintrest, I did Deviant art, I came here, and I did youtube.

The thing was, on Wattpad, I already said what happened there, for Pintrest, I really never went on it, Deviant art and tumblr here, at the time, were the same, so, the only thing I stuck with was Youtube.

When on youtube, I was on and off all the time, I rarely made anything because I knew I would have to do so much, for really little reward. The thing that has the most likes on youtube is a story for robin and kid flash and honestly, I never fully was into making that, though that's what got the most likes, so, I made more.

I really started to just not want to share my stuff like I used to since it seemed like I was doing what others wanted more then what I wanted.

I came into the TSP fandom when Ultra deluxe came out. I watched many things for it, I ended up, honestly, finding X Narrator stories on Ao3 and that's when I found Ao3 really.

I read many stories, not all X Narrator of course. I then came back to tumblr and found you all.

You guys made me love this fandom more then I did before. You all made me love Tumblr really.

All of you, at different times in different ways, have inspired me. You have all inspired me to keep going honestly.

I eventually made my Ao3 oneshot book for TSP characters X reader. It first started out as me trying to flesh out my Narrator at the time, then it changed into a Narrator X Reader story, and eventually I really didn't want to just do the narrator, so it turned into what it is now, a book for all of the TSP characters.

But the reason I actually started writing it was because of you guys, you all showed me not to worry about what others thought, that I should just do what I wanted to make and there would be people who would enjoy it.

I then expended more and more, from not interacting with anyone unless prompted to, to joining reblog chains with my Narrators.

I really want to thank @beartitled while we're speaking of the reblog chains. You helped me to really feel excepted into this fandom when you did the gala post. When I saw that I was mentioned, not only mentioned, but by someone who I followed, by one of my favorite TSP creators, I was so happy about it. It honestly made my day to simply see that you drew my stupid little Narrator designs.

After that, I felt like I really was a part of this fandom and not just a watcher who made things here and there.

It's honestly just amazing to see that any one of you have even simply liked some of my stuff on here.

I say all this, though I really wouldn't have gotten this far with even sending this out tagging all of you if it weren't for @gamergirls427

If it weren't for you, I would have never even texted anyone, let alone gone and did something as small as reach out to Bear about the cat march thing, so, thank you.

I was alone for so long. I only had family, and even then, I have some past things that make it harder to really talk to my family and trust them. Even with friends, all of the friends I've had have been either temporary or just not that great of friends, but all of you have helped me, at least with the friends department, and I can't thank you enough for that.

You all brighten my day and @gamergirls427 and @adventurecrimez

You mean the world to me and thank you so much for simply being my friends.

If you read all the way down here, thank you and know I love you all <3

As I said, this would get emotional, but, there we go. Now time for all the tags.

@juaneloriginal @britishbiscuits @finnleywiththesillys @shoefullofpudding @melancholys-inc @test-url-please-ignore @goony-gooner @villiun @athenamineblox @accoleius @souppye @janirah @thesillyparablesystem @gothic-mothic @xandyprojects @heckinrissa @brieflykay @choirgamerfangirl @miezmiau-animations @bucketfan427 @chaos-theoryyy @cinnabuncrumbs @demonicrhythms @your4thwallbreaker @shortpirateking @jaygrahamns @sangijazz @lilydoesdrawsometimes @deviousnarrator @bbonzo @mpils @crowv3xd @owlfromthemeadow @mocksart @gamergirls427 @z-static-z @paradoxspir1tart @springbon-t-art @alumiasgo @questionablealibi @shinakazami1 @tw1nkee28 @adventurecimez @lavalamphoarder @bootleg-parable @the-friendliest-freak @cha1nsawblood @braisedhoney @bog-mob @machines-art-shenanigans @emile-tb @raccoontank @tomiechu @coralkrill @troolyart @brutusartemis @scaredii-cat @crtvirus @calwasfound @beartitled @thenamesmobu @employee052 @envyq00 @quentintin7 @indigo-art @kelpiekidd @bucketbrainrot @vellichorom @give-soup-please @steampoweredwerehog @klari2845 @peripalz @bucketfullofstrawberries @rick-ety @blackkittensketches @altyy-tm @sketchygoober @insomniphic @morrrs @rhadko

[eisa-core]

how did members react when daisy and minghao get together ?

Hi anon! thanks for you question. This is how it went!

Seungcheol: He is really protective of Daisy. Ever since she got together with Kai and after he cheated on her, Coups was always by her side, not letting anyone disrespect her. By standing by her side, he therefore understood there was something with Minghao, but he never turned against her or him, trusting both of them.

Jeonghan: Jeonghan and Daisy are always accomplices in many contexts, and this time was no different. It was Daisy herself who told Jeonghan about her crush for Minghao, and Jeonghan wasted no opportunity to get them closer than usual. Now that they are together officially, Jeonghan thinks he has become Cupid.

Joshua: He was quite normal about it. He knows they are both adults so it's okay for them to live their lives. He is probably already waiting for the invitation to their wedding.

Junhui: «Am I supposed to be surprised?» was what he said when Minghao told him about the now official relationship.He knew right away, maybe even before the two of them realized it. To him, it's as if his two best friends got together, he couldn't be anything but happy.

Hoshi: Unlike Jun, he didn't understand it at all. He thought it was another Hyejin, so he didn't understand why everyone was so serious about it. When it was explained to him again after 1 month, he understood. He doesn't care so much as long as they don't get too distracted in the rehearsal room!

Wonwoo: As many Carats will know, Daisy calls Wonwoo her "psychologist cat." He has always been the person she trusts the most, to whom she tells things she would not even tell her family. So all those sleepless nights when she tried to suppress her feelings for Minghao because she thought it was wrong were accompanied by Wonwoo's reassuring words. Even today, if there happens to be an argument between the two of them, Daisy knows that going to Wonwoo is the best choice.

Woozi: Give him pen and paper he immediately has a song in mind to write! all joking aside, he didn't have who knows what kind of overwhelming reaction. He's happy for them but he's afraid it might get the whole group in trouble so he lets them do it and hopes it all goes well.

Mingyu and DK: They were super excited! Minghao preferred to tell the 97s together. They wouldn't stop smiling or giggling. «I will be the best uncle» Dokyeom said first, «What are you saying? I will be the favorite uncle!» countered Mingyu, thus beginning a long series of back-and-forth. «Guys, thinking a little further, we have been together for 2 days.»

Seungkwan: «And I thought it was all because of meditation! Now I understand why you are happier lately» Seungkwan replied to Minghao like this, making everyone laugh. He loves knowing that Daisy finally got over her fear of never being truly loved, so Minghao be careful, because if anything happens to Daisy, you will have to deal with him!

Vernon: He finally understood why Minghao always went to the maknae line dorm. But he didn't care much. At first he was almost disgusted to see 2 group members kissing while watching a movie next to him in the sofa, but now he got used to it.

Dino: Daisy and Dino went for a drink together after practice, and Daisy thought it was the perfect time to tell him. «Minghao and I are together» she told him and Dino burst out laughing so hard that Daisy had to put her hand in front of his mouth «Wow I was really falling for that!» he thought it was a joke but the silence there brought him back to reality «Oh??? Really??? You and Minghao? Minghao? our Minghao??? Wow great...» the alcohol made him too happy as much as confused. The next day with a clear mind he went to wish them both well.

ー☆ ͏

taglist: @allthings-fandoms ; @taestrwbrry ; @illusionocnet ; @kimhyejin3108 ; @enhacolor ; @alixnsuperstxr

oc's masterlist

[ahappyphjl]

jenna!!!!! how are we feeling about the pinof reaction finale?

personally I am about to pass away this video made me so emotional especially at the end, when phil said the whiskers come from within it was OVER for me and them thanking US AHHHH 🥺🥺😭😭 the way they view their pasts selves too, it’s so 🥺 i can’t put it into words but!!!!!! them looking back fondly and still laughing (and cringing) at their old jokes And then ranking all the videos so high like yeah!!!! they get it!!!!

and i also love how they acknowledge pinofs are camp because they are! if you get it you get it

it also made more sad about having missed their tours because they never came near my country and i never had the money or time to travel 🥲🥲🥲

soz i am a mess right now i just love them very much 🖤🖤🖤

aww i feel the same way, i loved Loved it and it’s all very overwhelming… im so glad they chose to do these videos. they understand how meaningful it is to all of us, and pinofs are clearly still very important to them too 🫶🏻 i’m gonna put my thoughts under the cut, cause turns out i had a lot to say lol

i was kinda struggling to even make gifs after watching the video, cause i kept thinking about how the pinofs have been a thing in my life since i was a kid, and how it hurt when they ended, but then now getting to remember them with love and joy with dnp and all of us here. as cheesy as the whiskers quote is, that’s what eventually did it for me too though, like i just couldn’t hold back the tears. 🥲

the reflecting on past selves thing throughout was so beautiful to see, cause they really have grown a lot since all those videos were made, and yet they still do some things exactly the same. like the little songs they come up with about random things, phil saying the sound barrier thing, and dan jumpscaring phil. but in many ways they’re not the same as they used to be, which is why when dan said he finally recognized himself in pinof 10… oof it was a lot, im just so proud of and happy for him 🥹 it all goes to show how far they’ve both come personally and professionally.

even though dnp have thanked us for our support many many times, it never stops feeling like 😭😭😭😭 though. it’s so genuine, so heartfelt. i feel like that doesn’t happen in many fandoms, not ones i’ve been a part of at least. whenever they say it, i know for sure they mean it. and that means the world to me, cause i feel like i owe them a million thanks.

i’m sorry to hear you weren’t able to see them on tour, that really sucks. i couldn’t go see their tours either, and i was really upset about that for a long time. it can be really tough not having those memories, especially when a lot of phannies do. i did finally see dan on tour this year, so that was an absolute highlight. i hope we all get to see them on tour together in the future though, who knows!!

but yeah pinofs were a lifeline for me, like i would fr look forward to the next one every day since 2011 when i watched a pinof for the first time. so revisiting them like this is everything 🥲❤️‍🩹 sorry this got so long winded, i’m not great at making my thoughts concise lmao

[laf-outloud]

I'm a little late sending you this sorry. I know you got an ask a while ago about Buddie and the 911 show.

I am a Buddie fan and a 911 fan. I can tell you 100% that we do not want hellers in our orbit. They're the ones that always make up the drama and spread their toxicity throughout the Buddie fandom. They're the ones that constantly make the BNF's have to constantly reassure and soothe and try to calm the drama that they've stirred up. They're constantly crying queerbaiting and prove that they don't understand the word they're throwing around because this show has excellent queer representation already. They constantly hate on both actors that play Buck and Eddie, claiming that if the actors don't whole-heartedly embrace Buddie going canon then they're homophobic. I cannot tell you many times Ryan Guzman who plays Eddie has been labeled as homophobic by this group because he has called Buck and Eddie brothers. Which if you watch the show, they have become that. While both actors are okay with the show making Buddie go canon if that's how the cookie crumbles, it isn't enough for hellers. They're the ones that hate the slow burn route the show has taken and even forced the other actor, Oliver Stark, to remove all of his posts from social media about an episode that revolved around his character about a month ago. He was so excited for this episode and shared that excitement with fans via social media. After he got such an overwhelming negative response, he removed it. The episode got tanked on IMDB at first even though it was one of the most beautiful episodes they had done this season, especially for his character. The drama reached a boiling point. And it continues to because the show has Buck and Eddie casually dating women again.

It's just insane. Hellers are the worst. Trust me when I tell you, we don't want them in our fandom. Normal destiel fans checking out the show, sure, but not hellers. Anytime I see someone like Alyssa or Nat tweeting about Buddie, I cringe. Because they don't understand the show they're watching, how the writers work and how hard they are actually working to try to give them what we all want when it comes to these two guys, and they spread all of that misinformation and toxicity that some people actually take as gospel. And then we're left to deal with all of it as are the actors and writers. It has been an exhausting past few years, I'll tell you that.

Hellers shouldn't be allowed in any fandoms honestly. Not if they can't behave.

Hellers being assholes is always a current topic (they never stop).

I'm sorry they've infected the 911 fandom. It's one thing to be disappointed if a ship you like never happens, but to bully and harass not only other fans, but the actual creatives themselves is absolutely abhorrent behavior. I recommend (if you aren't already) using the block button liberally.

As a larger point, the desire to see two fictional characters get together to the point of bullying baffles me. Like... what benefit do fans receive if it happens? Bragging rights? Personal validation? A boost of serotonin? What benefit do they get by harassing others, especially the actors? It just makes the actors and others involved hate them and their ship, thus opening the doors for the creatives to actually go the opposite direction and avoid giving them what they want.

They certainly can't claim representation, because like you said, 911 already has it, and so do many other shows whose fandoms they infect. They did the same thing with Supergirl - it ended with a gay wedding, but because it wasn't the gay ship they wanted, suddenly the show's homophobic. Make it make sense!

Fandoms are supposed to be fun places where shipping is a hobby, not a knives-out cause. There are far too many entitled idiots who think the world must revolve around them and what they want.

[lake-archive]

Chapter 24 - A Happy Couple

AO3 Link

Fandom: Genshin Impact

Characters (main): Eula Lawrence, Ann von Lupus (OC)

Series: They Say I Shouldn't, But...

Pairing: Eulann (Eula/Ann)

Previous Chapter - Masterlist

It was a sight for the townsfolk, especially with recent events. It was already one thing that the young author had turned up back in Mondstadt overnight, much to everyone's surprise. Of course when some had seen her in the morning she was asked so many questions, if she was fine and all what you would ask when seeing someone just return home safely. Enough people had been worried at the end of the day. Was Ann overwhelmed? Of course she was, judging from her reactions. She was not used to it and would never be. That was nothing out of the ordinary however, far from it. It was the usual to be completely honest. 

However, it was also that day where everyone had been turning their heads, staring a little in disbelief. Because when having seen  one of the knights pass by the brunette squeezed herself through the crowd, only to sneak up from behind and suddenly tackle said knight from behind, as if surprising her. Well, this knight had been certainly startled, enough to let out a squeal. 

“Morning Eu~!” Ann added, sounding more upbeat than the ears had been used to, smiling wider than one had ever seen. It certainly left an impression on everyone watching. But it got more strange.

“E… Eu!? Where’s that coming from!?” Said knight would stutter, somewhat nervous. It was hard to judge her expression yet she seemed awfully calm, yet at the same time stiff all the same. A blushing mess? Maybe, it was… Very hard to say. Her voice would suggest such a thing.

“Haha, I thought of it after waking up. You don’t like it~?” Ann chuckled however, getting a little too comfortable as she squished herself against the other woman.

“I… It’s not even been a day and you already picked a nickname… I can’t believe you!”

“Oh come on. We’ve spent more than enough time together. I think it’s overdue.”

“O… Overdue!? You’re already getting carried away here!”

“So… You don’t like it? Hah, alright, so—”

“I didn’t say I disliked it, did I!? Take a hint!”

“Haha, so I can keep calling you Eu?”

“Not like I can stop you…” The knight mumbled, all embarrassed. It was certainly a sight, leaving the townsfolk let out a unified gasp. Yet that gasp had been ignored by the two women.

It was so hard to take in however. Eula Lawrence, the Eula Lawrence, the Spindrift Knight, getting cozy with this young author out of nowhere!? A little too cozy!? And yet, the knight didn’t seem to chew her out either! Eula… Accepted it, took it with little complaints. Sure, her speech was as harsh as ever, but there was no throwing off or anything of that sort. She just accepted it, fighting and resisting little. She seemed… Softer? Was this allowed? Is this allowed!?

“Hey, if you dislike it, you can just say so. I’ll stop, promise!”

“I… I just said that I don’t!”

“Alright alright. Message received Eu~”

“D… Does it really have to be out here though?”

“Mhm! I can’t resist after all, sorry~”

“You’re impossible sometimes…” 

The townsfolk was trying to excuse it, thinking this was a collective imagination. But it wasn’t. This was happening. This was real. Since when? Or had they never noticed!? Was this… This… 

Ah, there was no use fighting it or imagining it. The two women were very cozy around each other, there was no way around it. No other explanation. Yeah… They were a couple, weren’t they?

“Sorry sorry. But you’re free later, right?”

“If nothing comes in between…”

“Great! We should celebrate you know! Just the two of us! A date I think it’s called!”

“D… Date!? You’ve got no shame in public these days!?”

“Oh come on, it’s not that scandalous… You’ve never been on a date before?”

“W… Well…”

“Great, me neither! We both have to get used to it then!”

“Are you even listening to me!?”

“Yes and no~ Anyway, I’ll look forward to it then Euly~”

“Don’t think up more embarrassing nicknames now! Yeesh!”

Yeah, this is how things are going to be from now on. But maybe… This wasn’t going to be so bad.

Previous Chapter - Masterlist

[againtodreaming]

heyy, for the weirder ask game :3

how do you take your coffee?

what type of person are you?

what kind of day is it?

Thank you so much, Johnny!! <333

so this is really late and answers under the cut bc it turned out so long, sorry!!

Complicated answer bc I actually don't really drink coffee? Ashdjdksj. Like, putting aside the fact that I need to do a special diet due to a disease and the special diet prohibits coffee, I never really liked coffee, too bitter for me (^◇^；). But, I do drink it sometimes when I need to stay awake really late to do homework/study (which technically breaks my diet but I can technically break it once a month plus, emergency situation). Those times I drink it with coconut milk, either coconut/maple/agave syrup or coconut sugar (small amount bc I don't like it when drinks are too sweet), and vanilla.

Type of person...hmm...I'm a human person? Wait, let me think...((went to ask some of my siblings this for some inspiration, one said that i'm "boring (not my fault none of my siblings like to read 🙄), overthinks every little thing all the time (unfortunately true, although during the last year I've just started to being really direct and open to try to avoid spiraling too much), and passionate (she was clearly refraining from bringing up all the times i have annoyed her by talking non-stop about whatever fandom i'm obsessed at the moment or about my wips asdfghj) (she also added later "sighs a lot" which like?!? she's the one who delights on annoying me?!? on purpose!?!) " another one just agreed with boring and then said smth i'm still trying to figure out bc she refused to elaborate so now i'm really confused, and another one just said "you are a Mila" which, okay, at least that answer had more originality than the 2nd one lol))...this is why typology is useful lmao. Okay!! ...this is getting too long ay, sorry, finishing this, I would say I'm trying to go back to being a person after becoming a complete disaster and just not living at all except inside my head basically all my teenage years (which coincided with moving countries, yippee/s) (the moving countries thing was actually the main factor why i was too overwhelmed and other stuff to be able to deal with real life at all lol) (don't get me wrong, i'm really grateful for the moving countries thing, it was just really tough and still dealing with it). Always felt like I didn't fit in during my whole childhood (i did have a good group of friends tho) and that feeling just got super amplified after moving countries lol. All my old friends have remarked that I tend to be really quiet and shy at first (was literally the quietest in class, even the other shy girls opened up by the end of primary school) but after we have known each other for a while, I become super talkative (...I also tend to talk really fast asdfghj, so many amazed comments or complains or pls could u slow down's 😅) (i don't really notice when i go fast unless i've taken coffee bc then, i do go SUPER fast and i have no idea how to slow down) (if possible, i tend to speed up any video I'm watching to 1.5x or 1.75 or 2.0x) (my sister complains that i'm messing up the songs by doing that lol) (...at this point, i feel like i need to add that i'm also the type of person who doesn't know how to get to the point fast and just goes in a huge messy doodle of a labyrinth as a road to get to the point and the journey is usually necessary to my efforts to illustrate the point bc if not, smth would feel like it's missing ig?? i have no idea how to articulate myself fast and concise anyway, so envious of the people who can, so apologies for the huge paragraph asdfghj) (i either talk too little or too much, have tried somewhere to fall somewhere in between but just didn't work, felt too edited and not genuine)

What kind of day it is…I don't know if you have ever tried to surf, I never really learned learned, but my dad did try to teach me a little of it one summer in Peru (with the small waves and a small swimming board), and it was a lot of try and fail and whenever we did it wrong, the wave would yank you and you needed to hold your breath and like, protect yourself ofc, but you also needed to just surrender to the force of the wave and let yourself being spun around until you were close enough to the most shallow part with sand and only then, you were able to force yourself to a stop and stand up. So yeah, that feeling of being dragged underneath the water, where everything feels so fast but slow and blurry and blue and out of your control but the world keeps moving, spinning, pushing you forward, and really, you just need to let the wave finish its course before you are back to the surface where everything feels more real-crisp-sunlight bright and you are finally able to pause long enough to catch your breath…it's sort of like that this week. The wave will pass though.

[intrepidradish]

Media: Good Omens

Year/my age: 2007/17 and 2019/29

What drew me to the media:

So! This one is so funny because GO is my spring board to fandoms in both major arcs (or whatever) of my experience as a reader and then as a writer. When I was 17, just getting into college, I read Good Omens. As a kid with a tremendous amount of baggage from going to catholic school for most of my life, it was ground breaking for me to read.

Most of you probably know how the story goes, at least tangentially. An angel and a demon thwart the apocalypse. Their relationship is really special, and it was the first time I spent any time reading something categorized as queer. I was mostly there trying to laugh about my experiences with Catholicism, but I got this heaping spoonful of yummy ✨gay possibilities✨ too.

Still, at 17, I wasn't ready for that! I think I searched for fanfiction of them together, but then quickly backed out of the scene. This was probably before I even starting reading Vegebul fanfics, so I was very baby about it. I categorized gay fanfiction as something not for me, an asexual, repressed, repulsed, depressed, heterosexual girl. LOLS

Years later, as a 29 year old, I was really excited to watch the tv show. At this point, I'd already shed my embarrassment around reading fanfic smut (lols Reylo! We'll get to this one later) and even dabbled in smut writing/publishing myself (God, spiderpool, we'll get to this one later too), so I was more open to the possibility.

What made me a fan:

I'm not sure. Something snapped in me both times, but the second snap was much more dramatic. I was writing smut on my goddamn office computer, in my fucking cubicle. Insane. Absolutely mental.

It was like I was a child again, pushing barbie doll faces together. While writing, you really are a fucking god, highest among high. You can create anything. Often that impulse is almost crippling overwhelming, so you can't touch it. It stews in you miserably. Whereas fanfiction offers you restrictions that sharpen and focus creativity in a profound way.

But what made me a fan? British (terror called me a britophile the other day, and my eye twitched, but I don't think I can deny it)? Well written? Funny!? But it probably comes down to the characters. I guess my blorbo of the pair is probably Crowley. Me and my heretic lizard men. My crew. My family.

Crowley is so relatable. You know, and my family life was fine. I couldn't actually pinpoint why I felt caste out from society. By 22, I knew I was nonbinary and had come out to some folks, so at 29, I was on the bandwagon for queer subtext and feeling it touch me.

But most importantly, this shit got me into writing! Like actually sitting down, putting words on paper, and not being able to stop. For that, I'm eternally grateful.

Have I written fanfiction for it?

Yes! I wrote three stories for it (one has been cast into the orphaned fire) with another incomplete. My favorite of the three is definitely the weirdest, Ouroboros Forever and One. I like having fun with stuff, and I hope the trend continues. I'd rather write the weird stuff that I love than the stuff that gets hungrily devoured by the masses.

Why or why not:

I was in a frenzy. The first one came out and I was like "never again, I'm done" LOLS.

My first story was insanely popular (by my standards, not the fandom's per say) and it remains my most kudos'd work, which I'm strangely annoyed about.

Why? Well, my other work is better! Or at least, its gotten better. I have no reason to be annoyed about it perhaps. The Good Omens fandom is huge and thirsty, so it makes sense that it gets read and enjoyed to this day. But maybe writers are inherently a little peeved about success as well as failure. You can't please me. I can only please myself and I say I have better work.

I want to take one second to brag that the unfinished story featured a giant Crowley fucking a black hole. I'm disappointed I never got that story finished. Aw shucks. WIP RIP

Opinion on the fandom:

Giant! Overwhelming! If you can come up with a scenario (sexual, au, situational, historical) its been written about and probably much better than you could ever attempt. It's also a very old fandom that remains active. The book was written in 1990. The show was 2019, and Good Omens 2 is coming out this year??? Insanity!

I joined a discord for GO and was steamrolled. I did a big bang where I made some images for a Cyberpunk AU. It was all fun, but I got so mentally and physically drained trying to keep up with the talent, the popularity contest, and attempting to feel original while dealing with my insecurity as a new writer. I had to drop out.

I'm glad I did too. After I left the fandom, there was a huge backlash on the cast. God I think it was because Michael Sheen had a girlfriend in her twenties or something. Twitter was finding all kinds of reasons to hate fanfic writers or the show or Neil Gaiman of all people. I feel like GO was the start of some exceptionally bad blood that pops up in these giant fandoms around queer stuff. WWDITS has a bit of it, but OFMD takes the fucking cake.

Would I read it again:

No. I'm still really spent on it. I sometimes catch fanart for Good Omens and it's really really difficult to generate an emotion for it whatsoever. The well is dry so they say. Perhaps after GO2, my fire will return, so check back later, I guess.

Master Post

[procrastinatorimagines]

The Family We Chose

Fandom: Chicago PD

Series: One Shot

Pairing/s: Hank Voight x Atwater!Reader

Warning/s: child abduction

Word Count: 2,898

Request: Hi, are you still doing requests for Chicago PD? If so, can I pls have Hank Voight x Atwater!reader where he proposes to reader after 3 ½ years but right after she says yes they get a case with a little girl being kidnapped so they adopt her and Kevin is so happy to become uncle kevin.

Masterlist

Hank never took nights off, but he wanted everything to be special tonight. A trail of flowers leading into the garden you shared together; he had decorated the space in flowers, lights and candles. Dinner was set up in a table in the centre.

Simple, elegant, perfect.

You gasped when you saw it. not believing what you were seeing. You and Hank had been together for 3.5 years but seeing him there, kneeling in the middle of the lawn, ring in hand, was not what you expected when you got home from work.

Pausing at the door you tried to process what you saw, overwhelmed with emotions.

"Yes," you blurted out, making your way down the patio steps before he could even ask the question. He didn't, however, need to be told twice.

Scooping you up into his arms as you nearly tripped over yourself reaching him, he kissed you. "I love you Y/N."

"I love you too."

It was a dream come true, almost perfect... almost.

Hank's phone rang as he slipped the ring on your finger, pausing slightly at the sound but continuing on anyway.

"Leave it, it's officially someone else's business tonight," you told him, pulling him in for a kiss before he could consider reaching into his pocket.

And he nearly did, but then it rang a second time.

Hank pulled away, "what?" he snapped, out of breath and frustrated as you supressed a laugh and smirked, lips red and puffy.

Your smirk, however, faded as you watched Hank's face go to serious as he listened to the voice on the other end of the line, Trudy, and then he put his phone down slowly.

"What is it?" You asked, no longer annoyed by the call, this seemed serious.

"A little girl has been kidnapped," he informed you, "her whole family was brutally murdered less than an hour ago."

"Go," you told him, fiddling with the new ring on your finger.

"You sure?" He asked, taking your hands. This was supposed to be your night, and he didn't want you to think you were any less important to him.

"You wouldn't be you if you didn't," you reassured him.

"I love you," he said, kissing you quickly, "and we're not done."

"No, no we're not," you smiled, giving him another quick kiss before he headed back out to work.

When you saw the back door such you pulled out your phone, dialling ASA Anna Valdez.

"You heard?" She answered in lieu of a greeting, clearly stressed.

"Intelligence has it," you replied, looking at the ring on your finger as you spoke.

"You coming in?" She asked, knowing your answer anyway.

"Let's get to work."

Voight wasn't the only one who could help.

Voight arrived at the 21st to see everyone in motion. The first 24 hours were critical, no one would be going home to their own beds tonight.

He made his way quickly up to the bullpen to see everyone hard at work, talking on phones, going over surveillance, sticking pins and pictures up to the board...

He looked at the picture of the girl in the centre, Lily, only 6 years old.

If anyone had a chance of finding this girl, his unit did. And he didn't just think that because he was biased, they were the best.

Everyone momentarily paused when they noticed him at the top of the stairs, waiting for an order.

"Don't stop on my account," he told his team, "every second counts, let's get to work."

And so it began.

Hours of tedious searching, and plenty of footwork later, Atwater burst into Voight's office without knocking. The look on his face causing him to shoot out of his chair and grab his jacket.

"Got her?" He checked.

"Got her," Kev confirmed.

Hank headed out to where Adam was rounding the others up.

"Tell me," was all Voight needed to say as Adam brought up the image.

"Campervan a couple blocks away from where the murders took place and Lily was taken," Adam began.

"Why didn't we pick this up before?" Voight asked.

"Wasn't out of the ordinary, we ran it, came back clean, belongs to the occupant renting the property, everything checked out," Jay answered, handing his sergeant the files with the identity of their new suspect, Jim Payne.

"So what changed?" He asked.

"Traffic cams caught the same campervan heading off the highway, see here-" she pointed to the second picture, clearly the same van with the same design and markings, "-different plates."

"And that isn't all," Hailey said, "we found it entering a state park, tonnes of cabins to rent and miles of open forest."

"Spoke to the owner of the site the van pulled in to, boss the driver checked in with a little girl asleep in the back."

That was all he needed. "Then let's go."

Everyone geared up to head out as quickly as they could, Kev jumping in with Voight for the drive.

"We got anything on motive? Anything we could use against this guy? Any connections to the victim and her family?" He asked.

"As far as we can tell, he lost his daughter in a car accident a couple months back, then he quit his job, got the van and he's been renting up and down the country ever since," Kev explained, pulling up a picture of their suspect's daughter, the spitting image of the girl he'd just taken.

Voight grunted, driving faster. If he left with Lily before they got there he could go anywhere.

Voight and Kev were the first to arrive at the camp site, the owner directly him to a spot by the lake that their suspect had parked his van.

They had to go on foot through the trees to avoid being seen.

"Should we wait for back up?" Kev asked once they had arrived, eyes on the idle van.

Voight was about to agree when they both heard a scream coming from inside the van.

"We can't wait," he replied and Kev nodded, drawing his weapon and awaiting Voight's order.

"We're going in, block off the path and surround the van," Voight ordered the unit over the radio quickly, time was of the essence.

Making their way carefully, grateful for the cover of darkness, Voight took the lead, treading carefully as they approached the van.

The lights were on, and there were shadows of movement, but thankfully the curtains were drawn, enabling them to get close without being seen.

Reaching the edge of the tree line they paused. From here on out, they were open targets.

Voight looked to Kev, who was mirroring the same resolve he felt as another scream came from within.

Voight signalled that he would go a head to the door and Kev should go around to the side, both moving together as they crossed the last stretch of distance.

Movement inside gave Voight pause as he reached the door.

"Jim Payne, Chicago PD, come out with your hands up!" Voight ordered, weapon drawn and raised, ready.

"You can't have her!" A male voice yelled back, followed by a muffled cry from the girl.

"Jim, no one needs to get hurt, just come out, let her go," Voight continued, inching closer to the door as it was thrown open.

Voight froze, taking in Jim with a gun to Lily's head, arm around neck and shoulders as she struggled helplessly in her his grasp, feet not even touching the ground.

"No! No I won't let anyone take her from me!" He shouted, "no one is going to take my daughter from me again!"

"Jim, she isn't your daughter," Voight made his voice as soft as possible, "your daughter is gone, she's gone."

Jim was clearly erratic, unsure. On the one had, it meant he had less resolve to actually use the weapon in his hand, but on the other it made him more unpredictable.

"You don't understand-" he rambled.

"I do," Voight took a cautious set forward, pausing as Jim leveled the gun back at him in warning, hand visibly shaking. "I do, I lost my son a few years ago, okay, he was taken from me, and I'd do anything to get him back."

"So you do, you know why I'm doing this, why I have to do this-" He tried to rationalise his actions, but he was hanging on by a thread.

"No, no doing this won't bring your little girl back, all you've done is taken this girl's family from her," Voight could see movement from behind Jim at the window, and he knew it was Kev, he just needed a little more time.

"I'm her family now," Jim tried, voice breaking, conflicted.

"You aren't, look at her, look at how scared she is Jim," Voight was more stern now, eyes flicking to where Kev was slipping in through the window. Jim hadn't noticed, he'd been too distracted.

If he could just get a little closer... he needed to be able to grab Lily when Kev was in position.

"She won't always be, I'm her dad-"

"She will, because you aren't, you never will be!" Voight yelled, causing Jim to react in exactly the way he'd hoped.

"Yes I am!" He screamed in reply, the gun leaving Lily as he pointed it straight at Voight's head, just as Kev levelled his own behind Jim's.

"Chicago PD, drop it," Kev ordered, the shock causing Jim to whirl around, dropping Lily as Voight lunged to catch her.

Kev easily knocked the gun out of his hand and shoved him against the open door. "Jim Payne, you are under arrest for multiple counts of murder and kidnapping, anything you say or do can and will be used against you in a court of law..."

Kev continued to read him his rights as Voight checked to see if Lily was okay, which was difficult given that she had not stopped clinging to him since he'd caught her, her arms a vice grip around his neck.

"It's okay, it's okay," he reassured her, managing to grab his radio and signal the team, and an ambulance. One was on route just in case, so it wouldn't be long.

"Serge!" Voight turned his head to see Jay and Hailey approaching, weapons out but quickly holstered as they took in the scene.

The sudden noise and appearance of more people caused Lily to bury her head into Voight's chest. "She okay?" Hailey asked while Jay went to help Kev with Jim, who had not stopped struggling since the cuffs were put on.

"Physically, fine, but..." He trailed off but Hailey nodded, understanding. With everything she'd seen and been through...

The ambulance appeared at the end of the trail and Voight opted to carry Lily to them, since she didn't seem to want to let go.

"It's okay, these paramedics are going to take care of you," he told her as he put her in the ambulance, managing to pry her arms from around his neck. Her face was pale and covered and snot and tears, much of which was also on his shirt, but he didn't mind.

"Hey sweetheart, mind if we check you over?" Violet asked her, but she shuffled away and grabbed Voight's hand.

"Stay," he whispered, voice hoarse and barely audible.

"Fine by me," Sylvie nodded as Voight looked to her to check it was alright before the ambo doors were closed.

"I'm not going anywhere," Voight promised her, and as she squeezed his hand even tighter, he felt the promise he'd made had a deeper meaning that he understood yet.

-

You were Hank's first call after he and Kev brought the young girl, Lily, to the hospital. She'd lost everyone, and she needed help.

As a prosecutor, you knew exactly what he needed. It was an open and shut case, but Hank had gotten emotionally involved with this one, though he tried not to show it, so you'd happily try the case to make sure the monster responsible never saw the light of day again.

You got to the hospital first thing in the morning, after a night of legal planning and putting together the evidence Intelligence and the hospital had sent over.

Hank was still there, you weren't sure if he'd actually left. He looked up when he saw you, a slight smile at your presence, though his eyes were tired and grim,

Kev appeared around the corner as you wandered up, coffees in hand for him and Voight.

"Hey," he greeted you and gestured with the coffees, "I'd have got you one but..."

"No worries, thought I'd check in," you told him, glancing back to Voight.

"He hasn't slept," Kev said, following your gaze, "she's gotten pretty attached to him, and it's definitely mutual."

You took a breath and headed for the room, Voight's standing to greet you as you walked in, noticing the way Lily tensed at your entrance, but relaxed once she saw Hank smile at you, her guard somewhat dropping again.

"Hey Lily," you smiled, changing the tone of your voice to suit a child her age, "my name's Y/N, I'm going to be helping you find somewhere to live, and that means I'm going to be coming to see you sometimes, is that alright?"

She looked from you to Voight, "do you two know each other?"

"We do, very well," Hank told her.

"That's okay, I guess," she said, seemingly answering your question once she had confirmation that you could be trusted.

It was hard, seeing her so small and fragile. No matter how long you'd been in the job, you still didn't understand why someone would do such a thing to another person, a child.

"We'll be right outside, okay?" Hank asked her, putting a hand on your back to tell you he needed to speak to you in private.

Lily nodded and pulled her knees to her chest, and you couldn't help but give her one last pitying glance before heading out into the corridor where Kev waited.

"Anything?" He asked, voice low so Lily didn't hear.

You shook your head, a night of pouring over legal documents revealing next to nothing of use. "She has no family left that I can tell, the doctors say she's going to be in the hospital for a few weeks, but once she's discharged..."

"She'll have nowhere to go," Voight finished for you, clenching his jaw.

"Hey," you put your hand on his arm, ring catching in the light, "we'll figure something out."

He nodded, trusting you, but worrying nonetheless. This case had hit him hard, it was written all over his face, and it killed you that you couldn't do anything to help him.

Over the next few weeks, you put out feelers as a lawyer, searching for some distant relative or connection that could take her.

Weeks went by, and still nothing. She'd been staying with a temporary foster carer but they couldn't keep her long term, and there was no where else for her to go.

"What'll happen to her now?" Voight asked. He'd visited her everyday since she'd been discharged, and you knew your news would sting.

"She'll have to go into a group home," you told him, sighing. You were tired, up worrying about Voight and Lily and how it was effecting him. So you'd come to see him in work when you'd gotten the news, knowing he didn't like waiting.

There was nothing you could go to make it all better, but you hugged him all the same. He wasn't big on PDA, but it felt needed. And given how tense he was and the way he buried his head in your neck, he appreciated the gesture.

"What if-" He began but then broke off, stepping back from you and shaking his head.

"What if we took her in?" You finished for him, suspecting this had been coming from the start. You hadn't said anything to him, in case you'd found a relative who could take her, you didn't want to get his hopes up and then take them away.

"What do you think of that?" He asked. You hadn't really considered kids together, you were both so busy with work, and with everything that happened to Justin... It wasn't a subject Voight liked to dwell on, but you couldn't deny that you'd gotten your own hopes up about bringing Lily home as the weeks had gone by.

"I think she'd be lucky to have you as a dad," you told him honestly, taking his hand.

"You sure?" He checked, and although you weren't sure whether he was confirming whether you were sure about taking in Lily, or about him being a good dad, you nodded.

"Positive."

"Uncle Kev huh? I like the sound of that," a voice from the half open door pulled you both from your thoughts, jumping as you saw your brother, grinning with a file in his hand.

You laughed, "I guess it's settled then, all we have to do is ask Lily."

"And actually get all the paperwork done," Kev interjected, leaving the file on Voight's desk and leaving with a wink.

You shrugged and turned to Voight, "we can pull some strings."

He smiled, squeezing the hand that still held his and running his finger over your engagement ring, "let's do this."

[thepervymermaid]

Hello! I hope you're doing well <3 May I request yandere chifuyu, nahoya, or kazutora (or all, if you like) with reader who immediately knew they're a bit unhinged? Like after a few advances, (y/n) is already putting distance between them bc they don't want anything to do w them anymore. How would they react to that? Sorry for the long ask and THANK YOU!!

Characters: Chifuyu, Smiley, Kazutora

Warnings: Yanderes themes, obsession, stalking, agression, violence

It's been a long time but I'm back! I'm alive! And I've been through a journey. Hope you enjoy this! Also there's anew fandom on the list.

Chifuyu is very hurt. He already thinks you are way too good for him, that no one in this world, him including, deserves to even breathe the same air as you, and yet it still hurts him.

He tried to come off as friendly and relaxed, but there were little things about him that threw you off. Maybe it was the way he seemed to automatically know things about you that a stranger shouldn’t, or maybe it was the way he looked at you. There was so much adoration and obsession in his eyes, it was obvious there was something deeper than just a silly crush there.

There was also the overwhelming possessiveness. Despite claiming he was just looking out for you, the hostile behavior towards anyone that got too close to you, the clinginess whenever you would hang out with others, all of it was too much and you decided to cut him off quickly.

He tries not to throw a fit, but he can’t stop asking question after question your way. Wasn’t he good to you? Is it something he did? He can be better, so give him a second chance! He’s so desperate for you to let him stay by your side, you have to walk away before he actually starts begging.

He watches you from a distance now. He wants to get closer, but he’s not manipulative enough to worm his way back into your life, so he’ll protect you from afar. He hopes that you miss him like he misses you.

It’s almost impossible to avoid Smiley. From the moment he starts liking you he makes himself a part of your life, even if you really don’t want him to. That, or he drags you around with him and his brother while he goes off and does things.

Excessive violence gets introduced to your daily life; Any person that so much as looks at you the wrong way gets their ass beat, and more people begin to avoid you, including any friends you might have had. This may not have been his original intention but he’s not going to complain about having more one-on-one time with you.

Until you decided to cut him off. The fact that you’ve become isolated, all the violence, his aggressive behavior, all of it was frustrating, and his weird obsession with you. He probably just comes off as a very clingy and violent friend, rather than the disturbed fool in love that he really is, but it’s enough to put you on edge.

However, you can only avoid him for so long before the smile drops and he gets serious. He only gives you one warning, his voice light making it all the more disturbing. After that, you can either listen to his warning and spend time with him, even just being in his presence, or he’ll make you.

Fight with him too much and you’ll end up with more than a few bruises on your wrist.

Kazutora doesn’t even realize you’re avoiding him at first. He’s a somewhat delusional man, so he convinces himself that you’re shy. That the scared looks you give him are because of the rumors going on around him and not because of his own behavior.

He’s so friendly and gentle to you, there’s no way you could possibly dislike him, is what he thinks. However, it’s easy to notice the way his personality flips whenever others are around. He doesn’t even understand how beating a Valhalla member to a bloody pulp right in front of you just for bumping into you could possibly make you afraid of him when he was doing it out of love? If anything he deserves some praise.

You’ll never truly be able to avoid this man because he won’t even register your discomfort or the cause behind it. Even if you try to explain it to him, he’ll only be confused and find something else to blame your feelings on.

In his mind, all of his actions towards you are for love. Every person he hurts is because he loves you. All your friends he’s sent to the hospital were out of love, and you’re just having trouble realizing it. You just need some time to adjust, but you’re not allowed to leave him

[springalwayscomes]

Not even a gift

Plot: Since the moment Jungkook saw your ass he swore he never saw something that beautiful. But then you turned around, and well, that was a total different thing. The poor man couldn’t even stand beside you without embarassing himself or embarassing you, and evey time seems to get worse and worse and...worse. 

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Dancer AU, Fluff, Humor, Smut, One Shot

Wordcount: 30k

Content Warning: Jungkook can’t stop embarassing himself, swearing, sexual innuendo, sexual tension, awkard situations, masturbation, sexual fantasies, a lot - a lot - of fluff, Reader with stress issues, overwhelming parents, trust issues

A/N: I wrote this when I was just joining the fandom, last year for Kookie’s birthday. I remember wanting to pst this so badly but it stayed in my drafts because I wasn’t sure it was good enough and I was a little insecure about the ending. I told to myself that someday I’d rewrite a new ending and post this, but knowing myself and how I work with my writing, I know that that day will never come because even if did so, I’ll probably end up with not liking my style of writing anymore and editit all out, leave it like this or delate it. So I told myself that I’d rather prefer to publish it. cause at the end this story was incredibly funny to write - sometimes I would laugh all alone like an idiot while writing it - and to be honest I think it’s pretty good. It’s the very first fanfiction I wrote about BTS so it’s also very meaningful for me. For reasons as the ones I already mentioned I decided to not edit this, so you might find some grammatical errors, please understand that this was the first time I wrote something from scratch in english. If you’d like to read it in episodes I’m going to publish it on youtube as a series too, where you’ll be able to live the full experience of the story since there you can visualize it too, as for the story it’s exactly the same as here. Enjoy reading this one, I know you’ll have fun!

Watch the first episode on Youtube

Since the moment Jungkook saw your ass he swore he never saw something that beautiful. It wasn’t just fit and solid, it was the way you were moving it on the beat, making it look like something he’d die to touch, squeeze, hold.

That was the very first thing he noticed about you.

He couldn’t help but fantasize how you’re face would look, watching your back from the doorframe of the ballroom. He imagined you sweat, little drops forming on your forehead caused by the the movements. He tried to focus his attention on the other dancers, fixating his gaze on the girl beside you making the exact same moves as you, but something about your presence kept on calling him like you were a mermaid and he was a poor sailor.

His dark doe-eyes ended again on your body, being in the last row it was hard for him to find your reflection in the mirror, other bodies moving endlessly making him grimace. He was running out of time, the poor man got stuck in traffic on his way here, already twenty minutes late, and god knows why he stopped looking at you dancing.

He shook his head when even after the music stopped your back was still facing him, not that he minded, but he was really dying to know how your face would look like.

Someone must have been both incredibly hungry and in love with him, cause a second later, you were bending over, resting your elbows on your thighs and giving him an even more beautiful view of your ass while trying to catch your breath. 

Breath stuck in his lungs, Jungkook gulped hard, making his adam’s apple jump up and down.

The girl next to you said something that made you laugh, back invaded by the spasms of your laughter, something he couldn’t hear because of all the talking that was going on in the room. He wished he could. He imagined your voice, soft and sweet, and soon enough is mind was already wondering about your features.

Snorting and getting out of his trance, he remembered himself he had to practice. Ready to take the first step away from the ballroom which he didn’t belong to, he shook his head a second time and turned, ready to leave his thoughts about you in that room and never meet them again.

But a second song started. And this time, he recognized the beat. Holding his breath again, he faced the entrance with a speed that got him shocked by himself.

Your hips were moving again, slowly and sensually, hands drawing abstract shapes in the air, hair attached to your skin. Your sweat shorts were doing nothing to hide your skin from his dark eyes, all he could think about was the way it seemed to shine under the lights of the room and the way your sweat would make it look even more glowing.

He hissed through his teeth, trying to push away the though of his hands against your skin, the way he’d like to trace your thighs with his fingers, leave pecks against your body and mark your hips with his lips. He brought his gaze back on your ass, sinful eyes burning against your skin and jaw clenching, Jungkook licked his lips and watched you arch your back before bringing your left leg to your head, holding it with your hands as you tiptoed your right foot.

«How long have you been here?»

He literally jumped, locking his gaze with whoever gave him a heart attack. Standing beside him, looking at him with his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes wide were Yoongi.

«I-»

«You know this is the wrong room, right?» he looked at him with a blank expression, trying to understand what Jungkook was actually doing standing at the doorframe of a different studio, without even caring about the fact he should be practicing with him and the others.

«I know, I was just... looking around.» he managed to let out, before taking a deep breath and stepping towards Yoongi.

The moment he realized he was rocking a half-hard just by his previous sight, he clenched his jaw and gulped again. If Yoongi had already noticed his situation then he wouldn’t know cause his face was no longer on him, neck turned to peek into the room that stole the maknae’s attention before. The youngest one used that moment to bring his bag in front of him, and then headed to their dance class trying not to draw too much attention.

That was the first time he saw you.

Jungkook dropped his bag to the ground as soon as he entered his bedroom, removing his sneakers and his socks he headed to his bathroom in a matter of seconds, begging to feel the cold drops of water wash away all the sweat on his skin and the heat of his body, even though the last one wasn’t because of the workout.

His cock was aching, so damn hard and throbbing against his sweat pants.

He wished they finished their practice just a few seconds sooner. Dancing was a pain in the ass today, all he wanted to do was head back to your doorframe and peek at you, loose his gaze on your body, trying to steal a glance of your face.

But still, it didn’t happen. He couldn’t help but think about how’d you look during the three hours of rehearsals, he thought about it so much that now he had a clear image of you in his mind. And it was pretty platonic, almost inaccessible.

He removed his shirt and his pants, letting them fall on the ground, and then turned on the water, already hooking his fingers under the elastic band of his boxers. He was so hard that it ached.

Jungkook took a deep breath and palmed himself through the material, immediately hissing at the touch. Deciding it was not enough he let the cloth slowly fall to the ground, creating a wall around his ankles that he surpassed in a second getting in the shower.

He didn’t waste time on lathering, he just shut the glass door and closed his eyes while bringing his hand to his shaft. The fingertip of his thumb collected the precum leaking out of his slit, moving over his head and making him clench his jaw shut, breath already uneven.

He though about the way you moved your hips, he’d like to hold them tight and down on the bed while fucking into you. He’d take such a good care of you. He’d fuck you so good, making you whimper and moan every time he’d hit your g-spot, he’d squeeze your ass in his big hands, leaving marks as a reminder of his touch. He’d kiss your skin, he’d kiss your neck and he wouldn’t even mind tasting the sweat caused by your rehearsals today, but in his mind, that’d be caused by what you two are doing.

Jungkook groaned and stroked himself, bringing his hand now to his base and tightening his grip around his girth. Throbbing, pulsating cock begging to release all his seed.

His movements were firm and clear, his fist moving so fast that his wrist was hurting, head falling back, mouth agape and eyebrows knitted together. The sound of his movements blended with the clatter of the water, his shoulders raising from time to time because of the heavy breathing, hips bucking against his hand. He wished it was you, the only part he’d seen of you, he desperately wished he was fucking your ass, so, so hard he’d make you whine and cry in pleasure. He imagined the sounds you’d made, and even though he didn’t even know how your voice sounded or how you looked, he already knew that it’d be his new favorite sound.

«Fuck» he groaned, fucking his cock in his hand even harder, moving his hips and meeting his hand halfway. He bit his lower lip, flesh aching and almost bleeding under his teeth, bringing his free hand to his heavy balls and massaging them. His pace fastened even more if it’s possible, his hips were snapping so hard into his hand picturing your ass in its place, he was so close he could taste it. He pictured your body bent over his bed, taking him so nicely, moaning out loud and clenching around his greedy cock, so needy and so damn wet for him.

«God, fuck» he growled, shoving fast into his hand. He wished he knew your face, he’d like to picture you taking his big cock in your lips. He already know they’d look so damn beautiful around his girth, gagging and drooling for him, he’d hold your head still and fuck himself into your pretty lips so good, letting you eat all of his seed.

That, that was what brung him to his apex. Abs contracting and rough breath, muscles tightening and eyes squinting, lips open letting out low groans.

«Fucking hell»

Hot white spatters stained his hand and chest as he rode his orgasm, keep shoving himself into his hand. The water washed away his seed, it disappeared so fast he didn’t even see it, and when he opened his eyes he took some time to catch his breath leaning against the wall behind him.

His mind went blank, for just a little. He couldn’t think of anything else than the idyllic orgasm he just had, just the thought of it made his cheeks flash red.

Then, the thoughts hit him. He didn’t even know your name, and here he was, masturbating over you. He was going to change that.

The second time Jungkook saw you he did  not rush out of his house thirty minutes earlier than he was supposed to. He couldn’t help but ask to himself what was going on with him, he certainly knew he never felt the need to see someone he didn’t even know. God, you didn’t even noticed him. Standing at the doorframe of your rehearsals room, looking at you move your body in such a charming way he swore he never see someone dance like that. Why were you in the last row? You deserved to be in the first one, that wasn’t fair. But, in that way he couldn’t see you, so he stored the information at the back of his mind. When you stopped your movements and you suddenly disappeared into the crowd, he again remembered to himself that he didn’t even know what he was doing.

Come on, was he really going to stand there for about other ten minutes and watch  you dance without doing nothing? He desperately wanted to know how your face looked, by now he could say he had a perfect picture of you in his head. And if he was right, you were probably the best thing he ever seen. 

Just the thought made him lick his lips, taking a deep nervous breath. He needed to talk to you. But what would he say? “Hi, I’ve been watching you dance”? Ew, definitely no. He tried to come up with other possibilities but his mind was totally blank, panic making his way through his thoughts and taking every part of him, leaving him only with sweaty hands and an adam’s apple gulping in his throat.

«Jungkook»

A voice made him turn, his gaze suddenly traveled to his right side.

«Oh, hey» he blurted out, Taehyung was staring at him with an arched eyebrow and inquisitive eyes.

«What were you doing?» the oldest one got closer, his hands in his pockets and a slight smile forming on his lips. Jungkook shook his head.

«Mh- I- waiting» he stuttered. His friend knitted his eyebrows looking at him for just a few seconds, then his gaze met the ballroom in front of them, where Jungkook’s was again scanning bodies, trying to find yours.

«Are you looking for someone?» Teahyung asked, receiving just a shake with his head from the youngest. But he knew better than that, he knew Jungkook well, maybe too much, he couldn’t even try to hide something from him.

When his eyes finally found you again, Teahyung knew it was you, he could just tell by the way he opened his lips, forming a little “oh”, his eyes never leaving your body.

«So you were waiting, uh?» he scoffed.

«Yes?» the maknae wanted to punch himself in the face, that was not supposed to come out as a question.

«Do you know her name?» Taehyung asked. He turned away in the blink of an eye, staring at him with wide eyes. It took him a few seconds to understand he’s been caught, but eventually he decided to just sigh and shake his head again. «Well, I know it» he shrugged like he had just said nothing. Jungkook looked at him with an unreadable expression, trying to understand if what he just heard was real or if he just imagined it. He studied Taehyung’s face like he was some kind of poem, carefully and thoughtfully, wisely looking for a hint to tell him he was just playing with him, but he really seemed serious.

«I can introduce her to you?» he turned to look at him, the youngest was playing with his fingers, eyes staring at the floor, all of his confidence seemed to fade away.

«Why?» he asked.

«What do you mean why?» Taehyung almost laughed at the maknae’s words, and he almost felt guilty. Almost.

«I- I don’t know...» he sighed. Why was he even acting like this? He wanted to talk to you, desperately wanted to know how your face looked like, his imagination was sending him crazy. How did he even ended up like this? He just saw you dance and his mind wasn’t his anymore, constantly wondering about your face. There was just something about you that was making him insanely curious.

«Oh, come on!» unexpectedly, the hyung grabbed him by his arm, making him almost loose his balance while dragging him into the room, taking big steps towards you. No one seemed to notice what was happening externally or inside of Jungkook, heart beating a mad pace, slippy hands like he just dipped them in the water, mind shocked and freaking out attempting to find anything, literally anything that could’ve helped him. Anything would’ve been good, anything for saving him from who knows what his mind was thinking, neither he could understand himself. He never felt more afraid to speak to someone in his life, he swore. Why was he even freaking out? He couldn’t find an answer in those few seconds that divided you from him, and he ended up behind you sooner than he realized. His body instantly tensed.

Teahyung, like the amazing friend he was, tapped your right shoulder, making sure to keep his grip tight on Jungkook’s arm, afraid he would’ve run away at the first opportunity. And he would’ve.

«Yes?» turning, you met the hyung gaze, two deep dark eyes staring at you, breath held in his throat. Damn, you were beautiful.

Oh, God.

That was the first thought that passed Jungkook’s mind when he finally saw your face, all of his fantasies immediately falling to the ground, breaking into a million pieces. He didn’t even know someone that beautiful could exist. His eyes staring at your face like some kind of piece of art. He definitely did not expect you to look like this, he did not see it coming. He thought you were beautiful, but God, not like this.

«Bye» that was the first and last word Taehyung blurted out, finally releasing Jungkook’s arm. Then, he simply walked away, like he did not just leave you two alone, like nothing. You raised your eyebrows, stunned by what just happened looking at the man head to the door and then simply disappear in the hallway. When you realized you were left with someone you couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable, shifting your gaze from the corridor to the man in front of you.

In that moment, Jungkook’s heart started beating even faster, if that was possible. His dark doe-eyes stared into yours for a few moments, not even blinking, mouth agape and breath caught in his throat. He looked like he just saw something... something really-

«Am I that ugly?» you blurted out.

When he realized you were actually talking to him, he felt the need to hide, run away, he wanted the earth to open under his feet and engulf him in. His cheeks flashed red, eyes finally starting to blink.

«No I-» his throat was dry, so he swallowed hard and tried to get a little bit of his nerve back.

«I-I just didn’t expect you to be like t-this»

What? Now he really wanted to hide, what the hell was he thinking? Nothing, his mind was totally blank. He didn’t even remember how to create an actually real sentence.

«Sorry?» you asked. Only then, he realized how your voice sounded, definitely lower than he thought. And he loved it.

«Uh- Oh God. I’m sorry»

And that was it, the end of your first conversation. Jungkook looked at your face for just a second more, than his legs did the job for him, he wasn’t even thinking straight, mind totally blown away and panic invading every rational part of him. He simply turned and started running away, disappearing in the hallway just like his friend did a matter of seconds before.

You grimaced, left standing in the rehearsals room, eyes following his tall and muscled figure until you were left with nothing but confusion.

What had just happened?

That was the second time Jungkook saw you.

He was drawing again, eyes fixated on the sheet in front of him, colors over colors over colors, sketches and shapes that apparently didn’t have any meaning. It was just a mess, overlapped lines with circles and circles with blurred shapes that he didn’t even know could exist.

He was desperately trying to take his mind off of what he had done, but it didn’t seem to work.

Probably, he was just taking everything too much to heart, and he knew that. He knew he was making a big deal of something stupid but he couldn’t help the way he was feeling.

Why did he have to act like that? Why did he walk away in that way? You possibly thought he was just some jerk playing around, and only that thought made him clench his jaw. But that was his last problem. Not only he did made you think he was an idiot, but he made you feel uncomfortable without even trying. The words you said and the sound of your voice kept on echoing in his mind like one of those stupid songs you can’t seem to send away.

Were you joking? Probably? Did he really made you think he was looking at you in that way cause you were ugly? God, you were way too far from that for him.

And above all of that, why did he even say something like that?

“I didn’t expect you to be like this”, God, what was he thinking about? And what did you think of that stupid sentence? Jungkook let out a low groan, the thoughts invading his head were making it impossible to focus on the drawing.

What the hell did Taehyung do? He said he was going introduce you to him, why did he left like that?

When Jungkook entered their rehearsal room the hyung simply smiled at him and winked in his way, like he had just made some kind of magic happen between you too. Well, it didn’t happen. Everything was just a fucking mess, and the biggest thing heaving on Jungkook’s shoulders was that that was the first time you ever saw him, the first impression you had about him. Now it was gonna be three times harder for him to even talk to you, let alone make a move on you. Jungkook didn’t even answer Tae’s wink, only wanting to end the rehearsals already and go straight home to drown into sleep. But it was late, and he certainly wasn’t sleeping.

Jungkook huffed letting his pencil hit the wooden table.

Was he going to try to change what happened or was he going to leave everything like that? Sure as hell, he wanted to know you. But he just couldn’t help himself, he never felt more frightened in his life to talk to a girl as now, and that feeling made him feel helplessly under pressure. What was he even going to say if every time he opened his mouth, all that was coming out were awkward words? Your face added to the sound of your voice made him look like a poor moron, and he knew deep inside of him that that was your effect on him. It was going to happen again, he knew it. He needed to find a way to not ridicule himself and not make you uncomfortable every time he opened his mouth.

«What?» Yoongi’s eyes have never been wider than now looking at Jungkook. Now, the maknae was desperately looking for advices, and he knew that Jimin and Yoongi were the right persons for this kind of situation.

«You really did that?» Jimin let his mouth hang open, eyebrows raised.

«Yes» Jungkook sighed «I don’t know what’s wrong with me, God.» Yoongi and Jimin looked at each other, both of their expressions stuttered by what the youngest had just told them. «How can I fix this? I mean I-»

«First, stop dwelling.» Yoongi interrupted his endless rambling, firm tone and eyes pointing directly in his. Jimin nodded. «You’re thinking too much. I mean, do you even think she noticed all of this? Are there any chances she probably already forgot your face?» his words made the maknae feel better for just a bunch of seconds. Maybe you already forgot him. It was a good thing, right?

«You think so?» why did he sound disappointed? Yoongi raised his eyebrows and nodded.

«And if she remembers you, all you need to do is go and talk to her, you can fix this Kookie» Jimin smiled at his friend.

«And say what?» his voice came out louder than he thought, almost breaking in the middle. He was just not that positive. He messed up, and there was something inside him telling him that that was not goin to be the last time.

«Anything?» Jimin made it seem so simple «I mean, anything is better than what you said» he added. Jungkook shook his head. «Sitting here is not gonna fix this» he said again, then taking a sip from his hot coffee.

«I can’t-» his voice suddenly stopped working, his throat holding the words in. His eyes shifted from the wall he was staring to to you, walking into the cafe on your high heels, jeans sticking to your legs like they were handmade just for you, a little bit of messy hair because of the wind running through the streets of the city, hanging from your shoulders. Eyes moving into the cafe like you were desperately looking for something, maybe someone.

«What? It’s her?» Jimin whispered, slightly stretching on the table to get the maknae’s attention. Yoongi simply avoided asking, he knew he wasn’t going to get any answer. So he just turned around looking for your figure in the crowded little shop. When he finally found you, he knew it was you. He had already saw you the other day, and he saw Jungkook’s pants too, but he kept it to himself.

Smirking, he stood up, eventually bringing back Jungkook from his own world. He watched his friend take long steps and cross the room, and his hands started to sweat again, even more than the day before. Yoongi surpassed you just a step before you were in line for the bar, almost making you step on him.

Rude.

Jungkook could already feel himself going crazy, him and Jimin staring at the scene in silence dying to know what Yoongi had in mind. He saw you stretch over his shoulder trying to take a look at the pastry, in the meantime Yoongi stepped towards when another client left the line. Time seemed to slow down for how much it was taking for every single client to order, Jungkook’s agitation growing bigger every second.

When Yoongi’s turn arrived he still couldn’t understand what was going to happen, watching him through the crowd and shifting his gaze from him to you from time to time was definitely not working. He caught Yoongi talking to the employee and a second later he was paying and turning around with who the hell knows what in his big paper cup. Keeping his eyes on the floor and faking distraction, he stepped on your foot and when he raised his head all he did was giving you a shocked look.

Then he did it, making the maknae line wide their eyes like they were four lighthouses, Jungkook literally hold his breath for what it seemed to be like years. His drink was on your clothes, soaking you, your drenched black shirt dripping on the floor. Your face shattered when you realized you were actually soggy, Yoongi gave you an apologetic smile and then he walked out of the cafe as if nothing had just happened. He really hoped Jungkook would understand it was his turn. Well, again, he didn’t. He just stared at you, your face still in shock and your moth forming the shape of an “o”, people surpassing you on the line without even glancing at you. Jimin shook him awake from his trance making him grimace and pushing him from his chair.

«Go, go, go!» he silently screamed moving his hands in the air. “Oh, lord” was all he could think while looking at you standing still and a scared Jungkook walking uncertain.

You stepped to the side when you noticed people kept on surpassing you giving you upset looks since you wouldn’t move from the line, it only took you a few steps to the side to rush into someone. Your shoulder hit his chest and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes. It was just not your day.

«I- I’m sorry?» the voice came from beside you, the man standing still against your right shoulder without even moving. What was supposed to be a statement came out as a question and Jungkook wanted to punch himself again. You had to back away to create a little bit of distance before lifting your gaze to him.

When you saw him, it took you nothing to remember him.

«You? Again?» you couldn’t help but roll your eyes. You were not this rude usually, you just weren’t that type. But today definitely wasn’t your day. First, someone surpassed you, you just said nothing because you weren’t the type to argue for something so stupid, you even justified him thinking maybe he didn’t notice you. Then he spilled his tea on you, and without even helping you he just ran off as if nothing had happened. Now, him. Was this some kind of joke?

Jungkook couldn’t help but frown at your words, silently and slowly making their way through his body until they reached his intestine and tangled every part of his guts together.

«I- I’m sorry?» he said again. What? You locked eyes with him, cocking a brow at him.

«What are you even sorry for?» you sighed, bending over the table in front of you and grabbing a tissue from the plastic container. He brought his gaze to his friend, eyes still wide and throat completely dried. Jimin showed him a thumb up and suddenly shifted his gaze, in a second he turned around with his cheeks now red. When Jungkook turned again he hissed through his teeth, you did not just caught them and you weren’t staring at him with an even more confused look.

«I- I can buy you some coffee?» he blurted out, his voice cracking in the middle of the question making it almost seem like a prayer. Your lips formed an “o” again, suddenly looking down at your clothes and rushing to clean them with that little tissue. You were just thankful it wasn’t hot, whatever thing it was. Jungkook stood there still like a rock, scared of moving and making everything even worse.

«No, but thank you.» you sighed at the sight of your drenched black shirt, drops on your jeans. What were you going to do now? You had to go to work in thirty minutes, you didn’t have time to go back home and change into something else, your boss was already going crazy with all the work he had to, his reaction at your delay wasn’t something you wanted to experience.

«Please?» Jungkook’s voice seemed to light something in you, lifting your eyes and locking them again with his. That was the moment you really noticed his beauty. And he was just that beautiful. In the meantime, he was really trying not to break out and scream, his tongue was just moving by itself. His mind was totally blank and his hands were so sweaty that they would probably as wet as the shirt you were wearing.

«I don’t have time for coffee now, but thank you.» you declined again, trying to bring a smile on your lips but failing. You sighed and turned, making your way out of the cafe in a matter of seconds. Jungkook stood there with his eyes still wide, watching you walk away and trying to catch just that little bit of air enough to make him survive. It was only when Jimin’s face appeared in front of him that he seemed to realize you weren’t there anymore, and in a second his legs made the work for him again, running out of the cafe like a mad man. What was he even doing? What the hell?

Jimin followed him rolling his eyes, all his hopes that his friend had made it hitting the ground. He had never seen Jungkook like that, not even when he dated that girl he had a crush on for a year. Jungkook had always been charming, he never had that much problems with a girl, there had been times he was more shy, but he had always found a way of breaking his barriers.

This time there was just something different.

When he saw you on the sidewalk his legs fastened even more and he only stopped when he was behind you, quickly grabbing at your wrist and turning you around in an abrupt yank that got Jimin to stuck on place and grimace. He even heard you squint from where he was, and he certainly didn’t miss the smack of your hand on his face once you turned and faced him.

Jungkook’s face heated up, suddenly loosening his grip on your skin and blinking a few times, staring into your eyes, his features unreadable. Silence suddenly seemed to fill the crowded street while you two looked at each other, your face looking regretful the second you realized it was him and not someone who was trying to steal your purse or rape you during full day.

Jungkook was at a loss of words, and when he realized now he had to say something, he panicked again.

«I’m sorry?» that was not happening again, he wanted to scream.

«You’re sorry?» you erupted like a volcano, your arm still in the air even thought his grip was no longer on it. Jungkook’s head slowly shook up and down, gulping harshly.

«What are you sorry for?» your question made him knit his eyebrows. Was it really so hard for him to form a real sentence? The answer was yes. His brain just didn’t seem to work.

«About the coffe?» now, he really wanted to scream and tear his hair out.

He had just scared you and hurt you and all he managed to say was “about the coffee”? What was that even supposed to mean?

«The coffee?» you narrowed your eyes at him, he brung his hand to the back of his neck scratching it.

«The drink?» he said again. For god sake.

«Uh?» you just couldn’t understand. What was he even trying to do? He was sorry? Everything was just so confusing, and if last night you thought just a little bit about what happened yesterday with him, you were sure this was going to be in your head for the rest of the day.

«The drink Yoongi spilled on you?» why was every single one of his sentences a question?

«Who is Yoongi?» you whined without even thinking, but then you grasped it. The rude man was someone he knew. Was something wrong with his friends? First that one yesterday, now this Yoongi.

«Yoongi is-» Jungkook seemed to realize what he had just done and he stopped talking, letting out a tremulous breath. He just told you he knew the man who basically ruined your day. Great job.

«So, are your friends all like this?» you didn’t even know what you were doing, but the stress was just too much to handle at that moment. The man stared at you again, eyes shifting to every feature of your face.

«Uh? Wha- what?» he babbled. Jungkook was loosing it. And Jimin could see it from a block away. He wished he could do something to help him, anything to save the situation, but he just couldn’t. What would he even say, anyway? “Sorry, he just likes you so much that he doesn’t even remember how a normal human acts”? That wasn’t going to work.

«Are you friend with this Yoongi?» you asked. Jungkook nodded slowly, almost uncertain of what he was doing.

«And the one from yesterday was also your friend?» you asked again. This time he frowned, making you narrow your eyes.

«Taehyung?» he wondered, confusion blinking in his eyes.

«I don’t know, maybe? Was it his name? The one that poked me and ran away?» you sighed.

«But he- Oh. I can’t-» Reality hit him, and he had to take a deep breath to stop his dwelling.

«What?»

«I’m- I’m sorry?» there he was again. Was he kidding you? Just when he seemed to know other words, they were there again.

«You already said it, even though it doesn’t seem like you are.» you were really going crazy. Late for work, drenched, without your breakfast and with a charming guy talking nonsense in front of you.

«I am» his voice came out louder than expected, making you unconsciously squint and ward off a little bit.

«Well, thank you, I guess?» you glanced at the sidewalk, then again bringing your gaze to his face. The way the light of the sun hit his eyes made yours stare deep into them, the black pupils and irises almost fading with each other, the little sparkles of the light reflecting in them made them seem like one of the darkest nights, but with the brightest stars you’ve ever seen.

Your mouth ran dry when your gaze met his lips, a soft glow making them look even more captivating, you wondered if he was wearing a lip balm, a part of your mind wondering how it’d taste.

«I’m gonna be late for work» you mumbled. Jungkook shook his head.

«Okay» What? Are you serious, Jungkook? Okay? He visually grimaced at his own words, and for god knows why the corners of your lips raised up just the slightest at his awkwardness.

«I should go now» you gave him a little gentle smile and then turned, finally heading to your car. You had just taken a few steps on the sidewalk across the street when you turned away and realized he was standing still, eyes still fixated on you, but he wasn’t alone anymore. Maybe a friend of his? You hoped he wouldn’t hit you in the head, given the others. You crossed the street again, walking back towards the man and glancing at the ground feeling your cheeks reddening under his sight. 

You stopped a few steps away from him, raising your head and finally facing him. «I’m sorry too» you said, slightly smiling. «You know, for the slap» his lips formed an “o” but he quickly managed to smile, for the first time. And lord, what a smile he had. You swore you never saw something that beautiful. Your breath got stuck in your throat, heart madly beating in your chest, threatening to come out. And you didn’t even noticed, but your smile became a real one, wide and shining with its own light and reaching your eyes. Jungkook’s heart skipped a few beats just at the sight, his legs shaking under his body and a sudden feeling of warmth invading his chest, it was like his guts were back in place.

A drop of rain hit your forehead and in that moment you realized you really had to go, rain wasn’t something you could deal with now, not with your already soaked shirt and your delay. So you just turned again and walked away.

That was the first time you and Jungkook actually spoke to each other, kind of, I guess you could say.

«Didn’t you two talk?» Yoongi asked running a hand in his blonde locks. There they were again, but this time, thankfully Jungkook would say, they were in his house. He really didn’t know how to handle another one of his friends’ mishaps in your presence, not that he would’ve met you anyway, but here he felt more comfortable. It was normal for them to meet at someone’s place on a Friday night, it’s something they’ve always been doing for a long time that now it was like a tradition. Every Friday they would met and talk, even though they’ve been seeing each other almost every day. And now, it was no difference. Or maybe just one. You. Jungkook wasn’t talking about how much he was excited to perform or how much he loved the new choreography, he was talking about how embarrassing that moment was. Wait, those moments. Thanks to Taehyung, Yoongi and himself, now he had collected a few moments that really made everything seem awkward.

«We did but...» he groaned «Why did you have to spill your drink on her?»

«For you to go help her?» Yoongi made it seem so simple.

«How could I have helped her with her soaked shirt? She had to go to work and you ruined her morning. And if it wasn’t enough now she knows I know you! And you!» Jungkook’s voice cracked in the middle while pointing his accusing index finger towards Yoongi and Taehyung.

«What? How?» Yoongi couldn’t believe his ears. He gave him a chance and he let it slip through his hands like it was a cool chunk of ice.

«He told her» Jimin got in the conversation briefly glancing at his youngest friend. Jungkook was really going crazy.

«And? What’s the end? Tell me you got her number?» Jin rested his forearms on his knees, waiting for an answer that just wasn’t meant to come out.

«You don’t even know her name, do you?» the maknae brung is gaze to Taehyung, his dark eyes almost seemed to surrender in front of all the mess of the situation. The friend sighed, guilt already invading his throat. When he pushed Jungkook in that situation, he thought he was gonna handle it, to him he just needed a little bit of motivation. He didn’t think it would’ve ended like this. He shook his head.

«Great.» Jungkook stood up, unreadable features and body tense.

«But at the end it was good, she smiled at you» Jimin helplessly tried to bring back a little bit of positivity.

«Yes, after I made everything uncomfortable and awkward. How am I even supposed to make a move after what happened? First Teahyung, then Yoongi. Then me!» he bursted out. «The first time was already hideous, but this? I hurt her, let her know that basically all my friends are weird and when she said “I’m gonna be late for work” my answer was “okay”. Who am I even kidding? I-»

«Oh, come on!» Joonie decided to open his mouth, his loud tone made Jungkook shut up, everyone now looking at him. «This is all in your head, Kookie. Stop it. You need to take a deep breath and face this in a different way. Clearly, shutting your mind off and letting your body do the work it’s not what you need.» he raised his eyebrows at him. Jungkook had started pacing, he really wanted to fix things, but every time it seemed to get worse and worse and worse and... worse.

«It’s so frustrating, I swear! It never happened to me, never. I can’t control it, my brain just doesn’t work when I’m with her» he groaned locking his dark locks in his fist and pulling a little.

«Oh, cheesy» Hobi wrinkled his nose receiving in exchange a death stare from Jungkook.

«So you don’t even know her name?» Jin seemed to realize his words only now, eyes wide and moth hanging open. Jungkook clenched his jaw before letting his body falling to the couch. Not even the soft material of the cushions seemed to make him feel better, not even the slightest.

«I don’t know her name» he answered, saying those words more to himself than to his hyung. All of this seemed so stupid.

«Then start from it. Give to this beautiful woman a beautiful name, you can’t keep rambling about someone for about an hour without even knowing their name.» Namjoon’s tone was firm, making its way through the maknae’s ears, his words seemed like playing with him. He was right, he didn’t even knew your name, how the hell was that possible? He had the biggest crush and didn’t know the basics.

What Jungkook didn’t know and never could imagine was that you were thinking about him in the same moment as he was talking about you to his friends. What happened that morning was still replaying in your mind like a short film, from the moment that Yoongi spilled what you figured out was tea on your clothes to the moment you headed to your car. There was something about that awkward meeting that you just couldn’t seem to shake off. That man was so awkward and charming at the same time that the match sounded both weird and interesting.

Still, you couldn’t hide your annoyance towards him that morning. You couldn’t quite discern if he was just playing with you or if there was a meaning behind his actions and words, I mean, he apologized for his friend so much but he didn’t really act different than him, he yanked you. And apparently without any meaning. He already apologized for Yoongi before, so why follow someone you don’t even know to do it again?

Remembering your slap against his cheek you unconsciously squint your eyes, drowning in the dark. You really wouldn’t have punched him if you knew it was him, but the moment you felt someone’s touch against your skin you panicked. Not that he didn’t deserve it, well, actually he didn’t, but you don’t usually punch people like that, you really thought someone wanted to steal your purse or rape you, You puffed.

You just wished to not bump into him or his friends again, or at least to not be the main character of their misfortunes again.

Summer was finally coming to an end, and with the end of a season comes the beginning of a new wardrobe, at least for you. You already had clothes for the imminent autumn but with all the money you had saved you could squander a little bit and reward yourself, you worked hard and didn’t even leave for the holidays this year, sad but true. So now you were lowly humming in the street without even realizing it, the music invading all of your senses, the melody taking control of your body like it was made of a thin sheet of glass that could be broken anytime with the slightest pressure.

You entered the shop and removed an earphone, slowly making your way through the crowd and getting ready to buy something as a reward for all of your sacrifices. The sight of the soft fabric of a white dress made your eyes sparkle and your feet started moving towards the mannequin like they were apart from your body, bringing your hand to the cloth you touched the smooth material.

There was no way you were not buying it.

The shape seemed perfect for your body, you could already see yourself wearing it so you were quick to cross the room, ready to grab your hanger. Apparently, not quick enough, but you didn’t notice right away.

Looking through the dresses for your size made you frown, everyone of them either too big or too small. You were almost giving up when your gaze met the tag you were looking for, eyes widening and happiness already creeping up in your body.

Then, a hand came in the way. You watched it grab the crutch, dark ink marking the light golden skin, long fingers closing around the hook. Your breath got stuck in your throat and you really felt all your hopes falling to the ground now. Sure you were not gonna argue with whoever just took away your dream dress, you didn’t even have the right to do it, you should have been quicker before rather than staring at it with dreamy eyes. You were already starting to turn and look for something else with a knot in your throat but you couldn’t help your eyes and followed the arm of the stranger, the skin almost glowing under the light of the shop. You met two broad shoulders, the cleavage of the light shirt he was wearing showing his collar bones and making your fingers tingle at the sight, but if you knew who was waiting for you at the end of that neck you would have already ran away.

The previous night after his friends left Jungkook had spent at least three hours trying to find a way to make a third impression on you, if that was possible, this time preferably good, and he figured out nothing. Eventually he felt asleep all tensed and annoyed, remembering the next morning he had to buy something for Namjoon’s birthday coming in exactly two weeks.

When he woke up today and headed to the shop three blocks away from his house he did not expect to find you there. From the moment he saw you at least a hundred of different emotions had run through his body, starting from worship and ending up with panic, but this time his mind didn’t switch off, or maybe not at all. Listlessly choosing something for Namjoon, Jungkook came up with a plan, and it was apparently clear: buy you a dress and give it to you as both a present and an apology for everything that happened the day before, from Yoongi’s drink on you to the way he kept on making things awkward, and maybe finally ask you out.

So when he saw you staring at that dress with dreamy eyes he instantly walked towards its reproductions, sure as hell that now he had something to work with in his hands. But it was only when you approached the same counter as him that he realized he didn’t have any clue about your clothing size. I mean, he could have guessed it, but it wouldn’t have been the same. He was supposed to ask you and tell you something like “let me offer this to you for making up for yesterday’s mess” and “would you like to hang out sometimes?” but when he tried to speak his voice got stuck in his throat, his hands badly sweating. So he tried to understand what you were looking for, careful not to get caught, and possibly keeping it in mind for buying you something else, and it all worked until he saw your eyes full of that joyful light again. In that moment, his heart skipped a beat as he understood you had found what you wanted.

As I said, this time his brain didn’t stop working, he knew he couldn’t grab the dress practically from your hands, that would’ve been the worst third impression of all times. He just needed to remember the measures printed on that little tag and look for something else. He knew but his hands moved by themselves and Jungkook felt himself stiffening again.

When you locked eyes with him you couldn’t help but snort. What was going on with the universe? You were sure you didn’t do anything that bad to deserve this. And why was he involved in all of your misadventures? Him, him, him, him and him again, couldn’t at least the gods send someone else once in a while to punish you? The fact that it was him made the knot in your throat grow even bigger and you instantly felt a flame of anger burning in your chest. If he was someone else you would’ve probably let go, but not with him and not when he was holding the dress you wanted to buy after long days and late nights of work, stress and a little bit of panic too.

So you did the first thing that came to your mind, you grabbed at the hanger he was holding in his other hand and immediately walked away leaving him with his mouth agape and his gaze digging holes in your body.

You turned the corner and went straight to the changing room, desperately trying to keep yourself from bursting out in the middle of the shop. You closed the curtain behind you and finally took a look at what you were holding. A men’s hoodie. You were going to buy it, wether you liked it or not. Not a big deal, you already had men’s clothes in your wardrobe, right?

Taking a deep breath you sat on the little couch in the fitting room, you were really starting to think he was playing with you. That had to be it. He was just enjoying himself, having fun with making you feel like an idiot. Unintentionally, some tears streamed down you cheeks, all the accumulated stress from work and from the rehearsals you were having almost every day, all the sleepless nights you had in the last three months trying to save money, some days even working your ass off until the first lights of the morning would appear, all the times you felt like you didn’t belong; everything was coming out in the shape of little drops. You hadn’t been crying for a long time and stopping now seemed like light years away, so you got up and went out of the dressing room heading to the checkout without even glancing around.

Jungkook was still in the same place you had left him, and when he saw your cheeks sparkling just in time before you could wipe the tears away he knew it wasn’t because of the sweat this time. His heart broke, features screaming nothing but regret. If only you had turned around you would have seen it even from there.

But instead, you paid your new hoodie and went out, ready to burst out once again you’d be surrounded by the safe walls of your apartment.

«God, I can’t believe it» Jungkook groaned again for about the tenth time since the beginning of the phone call.

Jimin and Namjoon had been meticulously chosen for today’s vent, and this time he was sure he had something real to ramble on about, it wasn’t all in his head anymore. He had made you cry.

«It was the worst third impression of all times! My plan was good, damn, why do I have to be like this around her? Every single time, it happens every damn time» he hissed through his teeth. On the other line, Jimin was staring at his white ceiling with his eyebrows furrowed and his lips pursed, trying to help his friend as best as he could, but he knew there was nothing he could do. Jungkook had to fix this, again. And Namjoon felt the same way as he took a sip of his coffee, his hair still messy from the long sleep he had just awakened from.

«I know you don’t need to hear it, but you’re the worst suitor on earth» he blurted out rubbing his face with his hands. «How can you expect to be more to her than an awkward weirdo if you can’t even talk or act normally in her presence? At least did you get her name?» Namjoon knew his words were doing nothing but emphasizing the horrible situation but he just couldn’t contain himself anymore. Jungkook didn’t need to be pitied, it would have led him nowhere. The maknae grunted in frustration. That was the only answer Joonie needed.

«Stop everything you’re doing» his words made Jungkook frown.

«What?»

«I said stop everything you’re doing» he repeated again, then taking another sip from his coffee. The youngest stared at the screen in disbelief.

«I am doing nothing!» his high-pitched tone made Jimin squint his eyes.

«Okay, then come to my place for lunch and bring that freaking dress with you» he ordered, now getting up and putting his mug in the sink.

«Can I-»

«Yes, Jimin, no need to ask» the hyung interrupted his friend already expecting his question.

«I’m gonna shower, but please be careful with that dress Kook» Namjoon’s tone softened and his words almost sounded like a prayer, Jungkook couldn’t help but glance at the piece of cloth laying on his couch with a worried face. That was not the right place for it.

«Okay, I got it, I got it» he said more to himself than to his friend.

«See you later» Namjoon got off the phone in a second, already on his way to the bathroom.

«Kookie, I know you can do it, okay? We can’t do more than what we are already doing, we can’t fix this for you, you have to fix it. But we’re here to support you.» Jimin’s words gave birth to a bittersweet smile on Jungkook’s face and he internally thanked God for his friends.

«Thank you Chimin»

They talked for another ten minutes before finally getting off the phone, Kookie’s eyes shifting again to what was supposed to be your dress now and shutting down.

He needed to fix this, again.

«So?» Jimin patted his fingers on the wooden table moving his gaze between his three friends. Unexpectedly Taehyung had knocked on Namjoon’s door just before they were about to sit down and have lunch with an expression that promised nothing but bad news.

«I wanted to buy you something for making up for what happened yesterday and the day before, but apparently I screwed up again. This is for you.» Jungkook repeated for the fourth time, then reached his hand out on the table, his chopsticks holding an amount of chicken noodles not even possible to put in his mouth. Namjoon opened his all of a sudden and gobbled them in just one gulp, making Jungkook frown.

«You just ate her dress!» Jimin bursted out laughing at the scene in front of his eyes, the corners wrinkling, his melodious laugh even took over Taehyng’s brooding face, the hyung smiled like a baby.

«I’m hungry and it was the third time he was doing that! He practically saw it coming!» he claimed, already taking with his chopsticks another amount of inhumanly impossible food to eat.

«You have yours!» the maknae tried to sound as serious as he could but his smile fooled him.

«Don’t bother me, I’m feeding you and giving you advices, this is the least you could do in return.» he mocked him with a new beaming smile on his face, Kook shook his head and took a bite of his meal.

«I think it could work?» Jimin brung the conversation back to where it was supposed to be, glancing at Tae and Joonie.

«Just try to stick to that» Taehyung said nodding «and don’t forget to breathe. And please, don’t panic again.» he added. Kookie nodded, this time had to be good. «You think you can do that?»

«I have to» he sighed, already feeling under pressure. Jimin and Namjoon smiled at him, trying to reassure him.

«Alright, now Taehyung could you tell us what’s wrong?» the hyung suddenly shifted his gaze to the other maknae seated next to Kook, who raised his eyebrows and shook his head faking a smile. «Come on, we can see it. Tell your favorite therapists what’s wrong and let us help you.» Jimin nodded at his words.

«Alright, I...» Taehyung took a deep breath, his long slender fingers ran through his hair and fisted a dark strand, slightly tugging it.

«Oh my God, this is so hard to say out loud» he groaned. Now, if there was a tiny possibility that they’re friends weren’t worried about him, his words certainly did their job.

«TaeTae, come on» Jimin widened his eyes.

«Alright. Do you all remember Gillyflower?» his words only brung more confusion to their faces. «The girl with pink hair?» he tried again, and this time a bunch of “ooh” and “yes” made him nod. He took another deep breath. 

«Well, I asked her out and she was about to answer when Tannie suddenly started barking and puling at the leash. I tried to mke him stop but he kept getting worse to the point he yanked me. I- I stumbled and trying to grab onto something I...» he harshly gulped, silence invaded the room.

«What did you do? It can’t be worse than what I did, right?» Jungkook’s doe-eyes were staring at his friend’s face trying to catch a hint of his actions.

«I don’t know, it’s the first time something like this awkward happens between of us, but it’s just...» he puffed letting his shoulders fall and then again shaking his head.

«What?» Namjoon were desperate to know now.

«I groped her breasts. But I was just trying to hold onto something and- Oh my God this is the worst thing I could have ever done» he groaned and hid his face behind his hands trying to cover his cheeks flashing red. Jungkook’s eyes considerably widened, Jimin’s lips formed the perfect shape of an “o” and Joonie shut his eyes , almost forgetting how to swallow. Almost.

«What did you do after that? Tell me you apologized, tell me you did it?» Chimin’s gaze was basically begging him.

«Of course I did, but I was still shocked and... I may have left my hands on her for too much time» his voice was muffled by his hands, still covering his reddish face.

«Oh, God» Jimin let out, tilting his head back. «What the hell is happening to us?» he whined, earning a death stare from Namjoon.

«You mean what the hell is happening to you? This things don’t happen to me, luckily.» he stated.

«Oh, please Joon, your face is dirty for all the eggs you have on it. You know you have your bag stuffed with blunders» Jimin whined again and Namjoon pointed his index towards him.

«That wasn’t supposed to come out!» he argued.

«It didn’t! But I’ll blurt out all of your secrets if you don’t admit you can be a weirdo too!» the hyung puffed.

«Please, everyone knows I’m an oddball, there’s no need to argue on that. But my blunders are far beneath theirs!» he pointed at Jungkook and Teahyung the youngest was now trying not burst out laughing for his high-pitched tone. Jimin groaned.

«What was her answer?» Jungkook asked, carefully looking at TaeTae. He gulped.

«She started laughing and I apologized myself again before entering home. I thought she was making fun of me but I realized it was an uncomfortable laugh just after I shut the door. Now every time I see her in the hallway I hide behind the corners and avoid her. She must think I’m an idiot.» Teahyung’s words made Jungkook feel slightly better, maybe it was selfish but he felt less lonely.

«You need to talk to her» Namjoon mumbled with his mouth stuffed of noodles.

«We’ll make up a speech for you too after lunch, alright?» Tae shook his head.

«No need for it, I can handle it. I think» he sighed for the hundredth time.

The Sunday that followed got Jungkook incredibly frustrated. In two days it was gonna be his birthday and he and his friends had all agreed to take a day off from the devastating rehearsals to celebrate it together, so now there he was,  meticulously watching his figure dancing in the mirror. He hadn’t slept well and his eyes were praying for just a bunch of minutes of rest, body already tired only after an hour of movement. When the music stopped he thanked Jin with a grateful smile before approaching the bench on the side of the room to grab his towel and gather his sweat.

«I think this-»

«Kookie!» Jimin shouted with his eyes wide, his voice echoed in every single corner of the room and in a second Jungkook realized why. He didn’t really do it, please.He let his hand fall at his side, and yes, there it was. Your dress in his hand, now moist and clammy.

His voice burst in the loudest tone he’ve ever used: «Who the hell pulled it out of my bag?!»

The group immediately got closer to take a look at what he was talking about, Namjoon and Taehyung held their breath when the maknae opened the folded cloth revealing the white peace of dressing he had carefully putted in his bag just in case he’d met you here, even though it was quite impossible being Sunday.

«Oh my God, I thought it was a towel and-» Jin started explain himself but got interrupted again by Jungkook’s low groan.

«I am screwed, I give up.» his chest swelled like a balloon and his shoulder raised almost to his ears just to heavily fall a second later. «If this isn’t fate then I don’t know what it is» he complained letting his body go limp after he seated on the bench. And as if what had just happened wasn’t enough his eyes caught your figure in the hallway, your body managing to move graciously on your high heels even though at a speed that seemed almost impossible for you not to fall, your hair swinging with every step.

«Bad luck?» Hobi kneeled in front of him and Jungkook scoffed, shifting his gaze on his muscled legs once you disappeared behind the corner, his dark locks creating a curtain to hide him from the rest of the world while he rested his elbows on his knees.

«Bad luck? This is a tragedy. And not just because of the dress. Everything I did until now is a tragedy. This is just the cherry on top of it all. Maybe this is just not meant to happen and that’s why I keep messing things up.» he grumbled with raspy voice. And he really believed that for a moment, maybe he was right. Everything, every single thing he had done so far had just messed things up more, even though he was desperately trying to do the opposite. He still didn’t know your name but had however already managed to made you feel uncomfortable, hurt you and made you cry. What a charming suitor he was. At this point he could’ve-

«If thinking about it like this makes you feel better.» Namjoon spoke with his gaze on the maknae. He licked his lips and waited for Kookie to raise his head, but it didn’t happen. «You don’t have the dress, who cares? It’s a peace of cloth, Kook. Your apologies are more important and you still have your speech. You can do it.» he kneeled in front of him beside Hobi, finally catching his gaze. What he didn’t expect was to actually find his eyes shining because of the stressed tears he was desperate to hold.

«He’s right, Kookie. Come on, you’re the golden maknae. And if it goes wrong we’ll have finally found something you’re not good at» Jin smiled at his youngest friend, his words made him lightly giggle, Yoongi nudged him.

«Just try again, okay?» Hobi smiled at him and Jungkook had to take a few moments for himself to finally answer.

Probably, no, wait, sure as hell the easiest thing was to give up. You already had a clear picture of him by now, there was no way you were changing your mind with just an apology. He had already apologized for at least five times the other day, and he had made you cry the day right after. So the possible answers now were two: yes or no. Such a big difference between them but such a thin line for him, especially now that he had lost the only thing that maybe would’ve helped him. He didn’t want lie to himself, he knew it was easier to give up and go back to being a normal acting human, not embarrassing himself anymore and feeling like an idiot all the time. But it was too easy like that, and just the thought made him frown. He couldn’t explain what it was to himself, but there was something about you that made him fatally, hopelessly curious. Since the very first moment he saw you, something turned on inside him, and I’m not just talking about his cock.

«Okay» he whispered to himself, the air of his breath fanning the golden skin of his hands. He took a deep breath and stood up.

«What?» Yoongi asked looking at him. Jungkook nodded.

«Okay, but you promise me you won’t do anything?» he pointed his finger against Yoongi’s face and then moved it back and forth pointing at everyone of them. When they all nodded Jungkook knew it was the moment to leave the room. 

Jimin pursued his lips when he saw him walking towards the door and quickly sided him. «Wait, you’re doing it now? Is she here? It’s Sunday!» he spoke so fast and his tone changed so many times that Kook turned to face him with an amused smile, almost forgetting about what he was about to do. «Do you remember the speech?» he asked again. When Kookie nodded and finally left the room Chimin stayed still with his gaze on him, acting like a mummy leaving her little child for the first time to the kindergarten.

«He can do it» Yoongi patted his shoulder.

You weren’t supposed to be there, not on a Sunday morning when all you wanted to do was drown in your bed and never let go of your sheets without the clock pointing at least at eleven. But you didn’t have any choice when you realized what day it was. It wasn’t just an usual Sunday, your family was coming at your place for lunch in about two hours from now, and you had promised them to cook something special, or at least to try your best. You were already feeling under pressure and your parents weren’t exactly the definition of easy-going people, always ready to judge everything you would do and every step you’d take. No wonder why you’ve grown to be their total opposite, never daring to judge anyone, and you knew they hated it. But you didn’t care and kept doing your thing, without worrying too much. Luckily, distance had made everything so much easier, until this kind of moments. The stress was running through your blood like it was part of your body, you were practically on the edge. You really didn’t want to hear them complaining about your stupid passion and how you should stop chasing your dreams just to find an even more steady job than the one you already had, so you had quickly decided to bring your gym bag here. You had grabbed everything you could find in your house that could have led their thoughts to your athletic side and just stuffed all in the bag now hanging from your shoulder, from your pointe shoes to your sweat shorts.

The lockers were safe and you knew it because you had already done this at least five or six times, so you simply opened the steel door and placed your bag in it with loose motions before shutting it and locking it with you keys. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. The stress of your job, the rehearsals, all the money you wanted to save to buy your house and what happened in the last days were hovering on your mind so much that you knew you would have bursted out if you had to worry about your parents too. So this was the easiest way.

Heading to the door you fastened you pace until you got out, the sun made your skin burn and you harshly puffed, already wishing the winter to come.

At the same time, Jungkook was looking for you in the whole building, he even took the stairs and went to second floor once he figured out you weren’t in your usual rehearsal room. He thought you’d be in the changing rooms but he couldn’t afford himself to the risk of finding you half naked, even though the picture of you he had in mind was making his mouth drier every second more while taking the stairs again. It was when he distractedly looked out of the window that he saw you crossing the street. His feet never ran faster than that moment, praying for you to stay on the main street so that he’d found you more easily. He crossed the hallway and made his friend’s heads turn when he rushed in front of their door, that stupid speech replaying in his head over and over again like a prayer.

«Oh man» Namjoon covered his eyes with his right hand at the sight.

Once the maknae was out of the building he welcomed the light of the sun by squinting his eyes, his already sweating body heated up even more while desperately trying to get to you. The street was not that crowded at this time of the morning with the sun almost at his highest spot and the hot breeze threatening whoever was out, so he thought he could make it. Then, he saw you stopping on the sidewalk. Maybe you noticed him? Impossible.

A second later you were opening the door of a taxi and he didn’t know if rather laugh about his bad luck or cry. He could’ve just let go and talk to you the next day, you were definitely going to rehearsal on Monday, or maybe even on Tuesday. But it’s Jungkook we’re talking about, and by now we all know a part of his brain seemed to switch off when it comes to you. Or maybe this time, it turned on. The stress he felt those days had built up so much that he just wanted to burst out once and for all. He was tired of dwelling about his clumsiness and weirdness when he was beside you and didn’t want to feel guilty for making you feel uncomfortable anymore. So he sped up, his legs almost gave in for the big gap he wanted to close in a matter of seconds. 

But he made it. He knocked at your window with his fist, hands sweating and chest raising desperately gasping for air. When you turned and squinted your eyes because of the light of the sun he again swore he had never seen something, someone that beautiful in his life, the rays of sunshine painting little sparkling stars in your pupils and your skin gleaming.

You knitted your eyebrows at the sight, the charming but odd man staring at you as if he had just seen who knows what. What did he want now? You didn’t have time for his teasing, not with all of the things you had to do before the hurricane that your parents were would show up and take over you for the next hours.

«Please» he managed to say, or at least he mouthed it, and a part of him thanked your shut window for not giving him away, but just a little part. If hearing the lack of his voice would’ve made you listen then he would’ve talked with his hands.

With everything he did he was not really expecting you to listen to him, not when he was making things awkward once again, not in this situation. He was hoping it with all of his heart, but he knew it was not going to happen. Indeed, it didn’t happen.

The taxi started and you fixated your gaze on the street without a second thought, already brushing away the weird feeling that his gaze made you feel. You checked your phone screen: 11.34. Great. You were praying every god in heaven to save you from your parents’ likely early arrive when a thump made you both frown and hit the backrest with your head harshly enough to wince. You realized your taxi just hit the one in front of him in a second. Someone was definitely mad at you.

That was Jungkook’s moment. He widened his eyes at the sight and rushed on the sidewalk before he quickly approached your cab. His heart was beating so fast that for a moment he feared for his life. He opened your door without a second thought, you were hissing through your breath, eyes shut and pursued lips. While he took in the sight you felt a gentle hot breeze on your skin. Opening your eyes you gasped when you saw him standing there. Definitely really, really mad.

«I can’t do this» you bursted out loud, more to yourself than to the men that now were both staring at you.

«It’ll only take ten minutes» the cab driver gently smiled at you. The poor man then brung his gaze to the other standing at your door, holding it so tight with his hand that his knuckles were white. You tried to fake a smile as best as you could.

«I’m sorry but I’m running out of time, I’m gonna make it on foot.» you claimed. Before waiting for any answer you shifted your gaze back to the man who was blocking you into the car, his body stiff and not giving you hits of movement. You waited for something, anything, but he just kept staring at you making you feel like a fish out of water and you didn’t have time to deal with his awkward behavior now, you were really late. So you stood up anyway, almost stepping on his toes, and you held your breath while making your way through his body and the car. The way he kept his dark doe-eyes into yours without any sign of backing off made you shiver.

Jungkook harshly gulped when your body slightly touched his, his skin tickled at the feeling, the lightest of touches creating the strongest of the addictions. «I- I can give you a- a ride?» he stuttered, finally removing his hands from the door of the car. You started walking without even turning at his words, too much overwhelmed by the awful morning you were having. Kook was staring at you still in the same place as before, mouth agape and eyes sparkling at the way you were moving your hips, but when he realized you were already on the sidewalk he forced himself to follow you.

«I’ll give you a ride?» why did he keep doing that? That was supposed to sound more sure, more like a statement maybe? You snorted.

«Please, stop it» his presence beside made you even more nervous, what did he want? Why was he doing that again?

«I- I can drive, I can ride you-» what the hell was that? God, he kept making things worse without even trying. Your face immediately shot up, eyebrows knitted together and blood boiling in your veins.

«What I meant is-» he stopped talking again, his feet did the same and for a moment he considered letting you walk away and just give up. With how fast you were walking you were already disappearing into the crowd. But he sided you again.

«Look, I don’t have time for your teasing now, you can do it tomorrow.» you didn’t need to shift your gaze from the sidewalk to know that he was again there.

«What? I- No, I want to do it now!»

Did he really said that? Turn on your damn brain, Jungkook.

You rolled your eyes. «I can’t belie-»

«Can I just give you a ride?» he suddenly blocked your way with his body, arms outstretched and dark eyes praying yours. «Not in that way» he added, desperately trying to fix his stupid mistakes.

You couldn’t understand what the hell he was doing, standing there in front of you, in the middle of the crowd, praying to give you a ride after everything that he had done in just... three times you met? 

«No.» you shook your head and quickly got over him. «In both ways» you added, slightly smirking at yourself for your words. Jungkook sneered too, following you again like a puppy.

«You’d get there faster, please. Just- just a ride?» his continue pleads made you whine and stopping your steps you turned to face him, realizing just now how much he was taller than you.

«I don’t even know your name» you stated, ready to claim your victory. Jungkook let his mouth fall agape while looking at you standing so close to him, not that it was that close, but the rays of the sun were making everything too much to handle for him.

«Jeon Jun- Jungkook?» he managed to say, to ask, voice cracking in the middle.

«You don’t sound so sure of that» strangely, you smirked. Jungkook’s heart almost stopped right there and then.

«I’m Jungkook» he repeated trying as best as he could to smile without showing his nerves on the edge. You took in the sight squinting your eyes at him.

«Okay, Jungkook. I still don’t know you, so the answer is still no» you smiled at him and were about to start walking again but he got in the way a second time. His brain panicked again when he realized he had to say something now, eyes widened and throat dry. Mind blank, totally blank.

«I wanted to buy you something for making up for what happened yesterday and the day before- oh, shit not yesterday. I mean, yesterday and the day before but the day before that too.» he lowly groaned and shut his eyes, already feeling his face heating up. He watched your features change from annoyance to curiosity and then slightly smirking, but he couldn’t quite define if you were just having fun seeing him struggle or if you were actually smiling for his words.

You can do this, Jungkook. You can do this. Just go on.

«Apparently I screwed up again. This is for you.» the only sentence he wasn’t supposed to say came out like it had its own life and the maknae’s eyes widened even more while staring at your unreadable expression.

«So?» you asked folding your arms.

«I- i can’t- oh God» Jungkook wanted the earth to swallow him in. The embarrassment was eating him alive. «I can’t give it to you» he blurted out without even trying anymore to contain his voice.

«Jungkook, I really, really, don’t have the time to deal with this now. My parents are coming over for lunch and I still have to cook, they’re gonna start a-» you started blabbering but stopped when you figured out you were saying too much. «I don’t have time.»

«I can cook.» he claimed «I can cook, I’m- I’m good at it and I’m fast» His face has never been more red than in that moment, not even when he asked her first crush ever out. Never than when he was with you.

«What are you trying to say?» you sighed, again checking your phone, the bold characters of the time made you whine.

«I can- help you with the lunch?» he tried again.«You can trust me. I swear- my friend is a chef. He-»

«Are you serious?» you interrupted his endless speech with a hint in your voice that neither the both of you quite get. Your question didn’t sound like an annoyed one, it sounded more like... Surprised? Kinda. Desperate? Oh, hell yes.

Jungkook nodded, and in a second your wheels brain worked like crazy. It was almost 12.00 and you knew that your parents wouldn’t arrive at the established time, they were probably already in the car looking forward to the moment you were going to open the door and ready to start complaining about how late you were for everything, how your life wasn’t good for you, how you should’ve been more like them. No, you weren’t playing they’re game, not today.

Going to your apartment now would’ve meant arrive in twenty minutes, then you had to make sure everything was in place and absolutely remember to lock your bedroom, your mother had this weird habit to always pry and snoop in your drawers as if you were still a teenager, you hated it. You had to cook and set the table too.

Oh, lord. You couldn’t believe you were really thinking about this.

«I’m Y/N» you sighed, locking eyes with Jungkook. The information you had just given him seemed to make his features even more shocked. 

Y/N, he repeated to himself, finally having a name for your breathtaking face. You had really told him? After all he had done so far?

«Are you really serious? Cause please, I don’t really have time for your teasing.» now it was you the one almost begging.

Jungkook’s eyes widened so much that they almost fell out as he forced himself to nod. «Yes, I- I’m serious. I can help you?» his voice was shaking.

«If you promise your friend won’t set fire to my kitchen?»

Jungkook’s features lost all their hope in a blink hearing your words. He really thought you were letting him in your place to help you considering all the awkwardness between you two? Well, he hoped it. It would’ve been a good way to prove you he wasn’t a jerk and maybe get to know you a little better. It wasn’t fair to be that much head over heels for someone you don’t even know. But that thought vanished in an instant. It took him a few seconds to understand he had to call Jin.

Please, please. He hoped the rehearsals were over and that he had already taken a shower.

«I promise, I swear he won’t do it» Jungkook’s sweaty hands went in his pockets and grabbed the phone. «I- I’ll call him»

You let yourself sigh when he brung the phone to his ear. This was all too overwhelming, the nervousness was eating you alive and the fact that now you had to worry about his friend too made you hold another sigh. Please, tell me he’s not teasing me again. This was your prayer, the words echoing through your mind like a mantra while the man talked to his phone taking a few steps to distance himself from you.

«Jin, please. You own me this for the dress. And I promise I- I will do whatever you want me to do. Just, please do this for me» he prayed lowering his voice and staring at you.

«You’re lucky I just changed. Alright.» Jin nodded on the other side of the line, everyone was staring at him waiting to know what happened.

«Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you. I love you» 

«I know, how can’t someone love me?» he scoffed «Where are you?»

«A few block away from the studio, in front of the crossroad, but please hurry up. Really, she’s running out of time»

«Alright, alright. I’m on my way. Don’t say or do awkward things.» that was the last sentence he left him with.

Jungkook stared at you for a little bit before putting his phone back in his pockets, studying the way you were biting your lips and snorting from time to time, fingers playing with each other in nervous movements. He couldn’t help but ask himself why you were so nervous. Your parents were coming over, shouldn’t you be happy to spend some time with your family?

You were desperate, totally overwhelmed from your parents’s judgement, still thinking about their faces when they would see you hired a chief just for a stupid lunch. “Couldn’t you do this on your own?”, “This is ridiculous.”, their voices were already playing in your mind.

You turned to look at Jungkook, his gaze immediately leaving your face and his cheeks flashing red. You approached him in a second.

«He’s coming» he let out a deep breath, and so did you. You didn’t have to worry about lunch anymore, thanks God. «I- why... Can I ask you why are you so nerv- nervous?» his question made your mouth fall agape. Was it that obvious? 

«I’m not»

«Oh» he puffed «O-okay. I’m sorry» you frowned.

«Why do you keep saying that?» Jungkook gulped harshly.

«I- I shouldn’t have asked.» and now he was looking like a puppy for the first time in front of your eyes. For a moment he didn’t seem the charming awkward man that had made you feel uncomfortable anymore. The silence filled the air even though the streets were chaotic. 

Seeing him like that made you speak: «You won’t tease?»

«Wha-What? Why?» Kook thought the conversation was already over, so when you asked him he really didn’t had his brain working. «I mean, why should I t-tease you?» doe-eyes staring directly into yours.

«You always do it» you shrugged. In that moment, Jungkook really felt awful. You really thought all he had done was because he was teasing you?

«I don’t»

«Yes, you do»

«No, I don’t» his voice sounded firm for the first time. Your eyes left his.

«Then this is you? You usually act like... you acted yesterday? And the day before? And the-»

«No, I- I don’t» he sighed «but I’m not teasing you. I never wanted to?»

«Why are you asking me?»

«I’m not! It’s just-» he let the sentence disappear like a speck of dust blown off by the window. «I won’t tease» his voice made you look back into his eyes and the silence filled the space between you two again, your face lost his brightness.

«My parents are not easy-going people. It’s just that.» Jungkook raised his eyebrows.

«Yes, but a chief?» he let out without even thinking, the second he saw your features changing he wanted to slap himself.

«I know, it’s desperate» he held his breath, the guilt already sneaking in his body for letting you think he thought that.

«No!» his voice came out louder than expected «I-It’s not. I was just curious. Maybe I should hire Seokjin too when my parents come to my place. He cooks better than me» you scoffed and his heart sped up like crazy. Finally, he thought. He was dying to hear that sound escape your lips, and now that he was the cause of it he wanted to hear it more.

«Jungkook!» Jin’s voice remembered him what you were really doing and he couldn’t help but feel disappointed when he turned to watch him get closer with each step. Your mouth hanging open at the sight. Tall, broad shoulders and a charming face. Was it a thing running in his group?

«I’m Kim Seokjin, but call me Jin. I’m your chief for today.» he introduced himself once he stood in front of you.

«I’m Y/N. Thank you for doing this, I’m aware I didn’t give you time to-»

«Don’t worry, really. It’s not a problem.» he smiled. You nodded and gulped nervously before glancing at Jungkook, who was standing there shifting his gaze between you and his friend, praying everything would work out fine.

«Let’s go, you can tell me about what you’d like to eat while we get to your place»

And with that, you nodded at him and gave a smile to the maknae. Jungkook’s heart skipped a few beats.

«I swear, she has the worst parents ever.» Jin claimed, eyes wide and shocked features. «They really aren’t easy-going people.»

«Did they complain about the food?» Namjoon asked, the hyung raised his eyebrows.

«They didn’t dare, luckily for them,» he scoffed. «but from what I heard from the kitchen that woman really has the strongest self-control ever»

«What happened?» Hobi sat beside him on the couch.

«You mean what didn’t happen. First, when they came in they didn’t even greet her, they just gave her their coats and ran past her like nothing.» he raised his index finger while shaking his head. Jungkook’s eyes widened.

«Then they started complaining about her apartment. “I don’t really know how you like this place so much”, “it’s so small”, “do you even have a second bathroom in here?”, “you should move”. I mean, let her breathe!» he imitated your parents’s voices, an high-pitched tone for your mother and a weird twang for you father. His middle finger went up.

«After that, her mother tried to break into her room as if she’s a fifteen years old teenager. What the hell was that? She even locked it before they came in, I saw her.» and now his ring finger too.

«What?» Yoongi couldn’t believe what he was hearing, and neither the others. Everyone’s expression was only screaming shock, staring at their friend like he was telling them a crime novel. Jungkook had his eyebrows knitted together, mouth agape and an emotion neither he could quite get running through his blood.

«I swear I’m not making this up! They’re the worst!» Jin shook his head. «When they saw me serving the plates her mother raised her eyebrows and waited for me to go into the kitchen before she started spitting out all her venom. “Couldn’t you do this on your own? Of course not. You’re still trying to dance, right? That’s why you don’t even have time to learn how to cook”, “your mother is right, you should start to act like an adult, Y/N. I think it’s time for you to stop with that”. It was like being in hell, and I was in my heaven, you know I love standing in front of the stove. I honestly don’t know how she managed to stay calm.»

«Oh, God. She must feel so much pressure» Hobi muttered, Yoongi and Taehyung nodded.

«I know. I could see it in her eyes when I left, she was acting like nothing happened but she really seemed wrecked. She insisted to pay me but I refused her money, I told her she’s fine since is your “friend”» Jin looked at Jungkook, who weakly smiled as a thank you for his actions. He already knew that your parents were not that easy from your words and the way you acted that morning, but God, he never though they’d be like this. How did you even manage to not burst out at them?

Your pillow was doing nothing to muffle your sobs, they could be heard even with the sound of the TV on and the sheets hiding you from the light light of the screen. Useless to say, you were feeling like shit. You always tried your best but always fail with them. You were used to it, so why were you crying? Again? You wished your parents were different, more amenable, you even wished you were different, the daughter they expected you to be. But you weren’t, and all you were left with was hope, every time. Maybe the next time will be better, that was what you usually told to yourself, and that was probably why you ended up crying this time too. You needed to stop it and face the fact that it was not going to be better. You weren’t the problem, and deep inside you you knew it.

You simply needed to face it.

Finally, here comes today. It’s weird for you to think this, but you actually want to meet Jungkook, to thank him. The awful night you had made you think of how hard you try with your parents even though you keep telling yourself it’s not true. After having a chief cooking for you, the only thing you can do is cope with it. You can’t deny you were being anxious for the whole time, still skeptical about the situation, afraid that Jungkook was maybe teasing you again and his friend was no one but a someone looking for fun him too. But he wasn’t, he’s been nice for the entire time, always smiling and trying to make you feel comfortable, he sure knows how to marvel a new client. You saw him blinking a few times because of your parents’s words, but you’re grateful he didn’t tell you anything. He was professional and friendly, and you feel so sorry about not paying him and making him deal with the awkward lunch of you and your parents.

Thus, you are now walking in the studio hoping to find Jungkook or maybe one of his friends, not sure of what exactly are his schedules. You look for him until you realize you’re already five minutes late for your rehearsals so you decide to rush back in your room. What you didn’t expect is to find him at your doorframe, eyes shifting from person to person. His figure makes you hold your breath, his features taken by whoever his looking for, lips pursued, tall and muscled body wrapped in a pair of black jeans and a gray shirt.

«Jungkook?» you call. Jungkook’s heart drops when he realizes it’s your voice, then in a second the embarrassment is there again, making his ears and cheeks flashing red.

«H-hi?» he slowly moves his stare until it’s on your face.

«Were you looking for me?» his eyes wide, he weakly raises his eyebrows and now his lips are slightly parted in a pout.

«N-no? Yes, I mean no, I- fuck» he mutters, shutting his eyes at the end of the uncommon answer and hissing under his breath. You knit your eyebrows. Once he opens his eyes again you can’t help but smirk, just a little bit. With the half-gone sensation of him teasing at you it’s more easy to do it.

«I- what was the question?» he really doesn’t know how to answer you. You scoff and shake your head.

«Never mind, I was looking for you but now I really can’t talk. Do you have some time later?» your uncertain tone makes you cringe, again feeling weird in front of him. You can’t help it, it’s just something that happens every time in his presence.

His brain stops working again. «Oh, yes? Y-yeah»

«What- what time do you get off?»

«I- well, I- uhm... Yoongi!» he suddenly screams, panicking and widening his eyes when he shifts them from you to his friend, his tone radiates nothing but frustration.

Thanks God, he thinks, but a second later he’s already regretting it. You quickly turn to see his friend approaching you in heavy footsteps, and when you link his face to his name another wave of uncomfortableness sneaks in your body.

Yoongi looks at you only when he sides his friend, gulping harshly and trying to fake a smile as best as he can. «Hi, I’m Yoongi?»Why do they all speak like this? 

He shifts his eyes from you to Jungkook and viceversa, hoping someone to talk and tell him what the hell is he doing there with you two. When Jungkook finally speaks his voice his shaking. «What dime do- do we get o-off?» his eyes are basically praying Yoongi to answer.

«I think at seven?»

«Oh» he lets out, lowering his gaze on you again. You try to shrug off the mix of emotions his dark eyes give you.

«Okay, I... I’ll wait for you? I guess, if you tell me-»

«13» Yoongi interrupts your blabbering seeing that the maknae’s face is as blank as a white sheet paper, still in shock from what’s happening, he probably wouldn’t have known how to answer you.

«Thank you. See you later then» you try to smile without letting your uneasiness creep in and quickly enter the rehearsal room, letting out a deep breath.

«You know you’ll have to talk to her later, right? And what was she talking about?» Yoongi asks as soon as you can’t hear him. Jungkook shrugs.

«She- she wants to talk? I’m gonna die in the awkwardness, I know it. I’m gonna embarrass myself so much I won’t even be able to breathe, fuck.»

«Y/N?» Jungkook stares at your reflection in the mirror, his movements suddenly stop nd Hobi frowns at him.

«Jungkook, what are you doing?» he screams over the music. The maknae blinks a few times before he understands you’re looking at him and he’ll make everything more awkward if he keeps standing still like this with his eyes on you. Thus, he takes a deep - deep - breath and  counts the time again before catching up with the moves.

His body makes you hold your breath, his movements are clean and outright, his style is impactful, even the small details incredibly focused and accurate. His muscles twitch under the clothes, and you can outline the muscles of his legs even without even trying. Only the sight makes you shudder. His body is something you really didn’t dwell on, too much taken aback from the way he usually acts around you, but having a show like this in front of your eyes is something you can’t really turn away to. The way he moves his hips in a particular move has you clenching around nothing, and you suddenly blush at the thought of how he’d move them in a different situation, your heart beats faster.

Jungkook tries to not let your presence influence his rehearsals but he can’t help to steal a few glances at you while he moves on the rhythm. When he sees you blushing and glancing down his body he can’t help but smirk a little bit, even though his heart beats louder with every second. He glances away again when you eventually raise your eyes to his face, body stiffening in an second.

When the music finally stops and you seem to wake up from your trance you find yourself looking at the others, realizing only now that you probably should have asked before coming in the room like this, so you stand up and go out in a second.

Yoongi suddenly runs behind you.

«Y/N? Right?» you have no chance but to turn and nod.

«I’m sorry, I sho-»

«You can stay.» he smiles at you «And I’m sorry for the tea, the other day»

«Are you sure?»

«About the tea? I’m really sorry» he bits the inside of his cheek.

«No, I mean are you sure I-»

«Oh, yes. Jungkook would like it if you stayed» he suddenly points his thumb to Jungkook, who’s staring at the two of you with his lips parted and apparently in trance like you were just a few seconds ago. When your eyes lock with his you shrug to hide the weird shiver sneaking into your back.

«Okay, then» you smile at Yoongi and head back to the bench at the side of the room. 

You spend at least twenty five minutes staring at Jungkook, your eyes rarely meet the figures of his friends, completely taken by the way he moves and the emotions he makes you feel with every song. At the beginning the maknae feels his cheeks heating up and his body as stiff as a trunk, but with the time passing by and the seconds becoming minutes he slowly gains a little bit of confidence, and when you see him even more free and secure you can’t help but take in the sight releasing a deep breath you didn’t know you were holding. He’s like a magnet, some weird kind of energy attracts you to him, maybe it’s the way he speaks with his face or the way his eyes seem even darker and deeper when he sometimes glances at you and immediately glances back. Time seems to run and before you know it the music stops again and the group is lets out uneven breaths, heading to the bench you’re sitting on to grab their towels.

You feel your cheeks heat up when you notice almost every one of them glance at you with a look you can’t really read. Jungkook is still in front of the mirror, eyes completely focused on the way his body moves and repeating movements like a mantra. When he finally stops and turns around his gaze locks with yours, his heart pounds in his chest, palms sweaty all of a sudden.

«Kook, here!» one of his friends throws him a bottle of water and the man quickly catches it bringing it to his lips and taking a few sips. You watch the way his adam’s apple moves from your seat. He closes the bottle and finally heads to the bench, he feels so nervous he’d do something awkward and make you both feel uncomfortable that he almost thinks of running away. The others seem to quickly disappear to go to change and when he finally stands beside you you don’t really know how to act. The silence fills the room and makes you wince, your tongue comes out to wet the petals of your lips, Jungkook holds his breath.

«I like your style of dancing, the way you move» you blurt out. The maknae seems almost shocked at your words.

«I- I like it too» and here we go again. «I mean, I like yours too?»

«You watched me dancing?»

Jungkook groans. «I- oh, ye- yes?» he quickly gives up on lying «I watched you»

«Oh, I didn’t notice» you nervously smile. «Thank you, then»

Jungkook brings his white towel to his neck, wiping the sweat from his skin. That stupid action hits you like a wrecking ball.

«I’m- I’m sorry for everything that happened,» he speaks without thinking «I- I never wanted to tease you. I’m really sorry it- it came out like that. Really sorry.» his tone is shaky and he still can’t believe he managed to let out a full sentence without embarrassing himself or you. For some kind of reason his words make your gaze deepen in his, the weight of your irises almost crashing down Jungkook’s mind.

 You shake your head. «You apologize every time» a smile breaks through your mask.

«I don’t want to... make you feel uncomfortable? It’s just... I’m really so- sorry if it came out in the wrong way. I always end up embarrassing myself but I wanted to make a good impression, it’s just-» he suddenly stops talking, feeling all of a sudden even more nervous to say the words he was almost spilling out, he scraps at the back of his neck.

«You make me nervous» he really said it. 

His words hit you like a train, fast enough to make you doubt you really heard them and hard enough to stun you. «I make you nervous? Oh, I’m sorry I-»

«No, no, no, no» he quickly complaints «In a good way, I- I guess?» 

«What do you mean?»

Jungkook opens his mouth to speak a few times but always fails and closes it, before putting the towel on the bench and harshly gulping. «I- Can we talk about something else? Please?» he almost whines, making a weird smile form on your lips.

«Do you want to go to the cafe?»

He nods at your proposal, lifting his index finger. «Just give me a minute to change and-» he lowers to grab at all his stuff on the bench but unintentionally hits the bottle of water which falls to the ground. He lets out a deep shaky breath, the words I’m so bad at this echoing in his mind. You manage to bend over and grab it but at the same time he takes a step towards it to do the same, stopping when he sees your hands holding the bottle. When you raise back, the view you meet with makes you hold your breath and your cheeks red like peppers, Jungkook is not quick enough to rush back, and you can’t help but feel uncomfortable again, but this time there’s a different emotion too that you’re not quick enough to grasp.

It happens in a matter of seconds, but it seems like minutes when you glance at him, standing tall and looking at you bewitched by the sight of you like this. And he needs to remember himself you’re actually here to hold back the dirty thoughts that are already filling his head. You gulp hard, your eyes scanning his beautiful features and saving the breathtaking sight, his crotch almost touching your cheek because of the lack of distance. And you can’t deny, your thoughts take you to a different dimension that makes you fucking throb.

«Just- give me- give me a minute?» Jungkook stutters with a deep low voice, heavy breath and cheeks heating up.

«This are the kind of things that makes me think of you teasing me» you don’t even know where your words came out from, how’d you manage to make a full sentence still watching him from the same position.

«I swear, I didn’t want to-»

«It’s okay» you unintentionally lick your lips and he finds it even harder to keep a clear head, his cock already hardening. «Go?»

He slowly nods waking up from his trance, and manages to rush back into the fitting room with fast steps and heavy breathing, hoping that the others are not there. Not now that with every steps he takes he feels harder with the image of your eyes looking at him from down.

«Fuck» he hisses letting his bag fall to the bench. Luckily, no one’s here anymore and he’s only left with his boner. What is he supposed to do now? He can’t just change and go out, you’d see it, definitely.

Fuck.

Jungkook quickly heads to the door of the bathroom and takes a deep breath before locking it, lowering his sweat pants and his boxers on his thighs. The second the material doesn’t hug him anymore his cock jumps to his stomach, tip already red and dripping with precum. How do you manage to get him this hard without even trying?

His hand immediately wraps around his shaft, squeezing himself a little bit, just enough to make his head fall back and his lips part letting out a strangled whine. 

«Fuck» he hisses before he starts moving his hand, his mind going back at you and how damn good you looked before at the height of his cock. The first time he masturbated thinking about you sucking him dry he didn’t really think he would ever have a picture of you to accompany his actions to. And now that he has it, he can’t seem to get enough of it. You’d look so fucking good giving him the blowjob of his life, hollowing your cheeks and wrapping him in your mouth, he’d fuck it so good you’d be drooling and gagging for him. His thumb slowly caresses his frenulum and he twitches under his hand, stroking himself faster and harder. He doesn’t even realize it but the image of you he has in mind is making him louder than he usually is, panting and hissing, begging to explode.

«Oh my god, fuck.» he groans.

You can’t hear him from where you are, but your tights are tightening anyway. What happened just a few moments ago is replaying in your mind over and over again. The view he gave you of him staring directly into your eyes while you were basically facing his cock it’s making you go out of your mind. You can’t deny he’s charming, with features that make you feel dizzy, but this was too much to handle even for you. Your mind can’t help but fantasize how he’d fist your hair while you’d lick him, and just the thought makes you clench around nothing, the wetness between your folds already soaking your knickers. You try to push the image away, but the way you’re desperately squeezing your thighs for some kind of friction tells a total different story.

Jungkook bites his lips, his abdomen twitching and his shoulders heavily raising.

«Y/N» he whines, picturing you on your knees for him. In his mind, your hands are one on his inner thigh and the other playing with his nipple, twirling it between your index and thumb and making him even more sensible.

«Shit, so good» his voice is husky, sure as hell it would make you shudder and fall on your knees if you’d only hear it. His movements become more sloppy, the knot in his stomach almost about to burst. He groans and speeds up even more, hips practically hitting his hand with every stroke. He imagines your thighs tightened, the wetness in your folds, the way you’d taste, and he feels even closer.

«So fucking good»

Jungkook spits in his hand. His breath stutters more, and he suddenly doesn’t remember how to breathe anymore as he strokes himself harder, the lewd sound of him shoving in his fist becomes louder, the only sound feeling the bathroom and the fitting room.

The thought of you cupping his balls and massaging it makes him do the same thing, he pictures your tongue licking and swirling around the head of his cock. That is the last chunk he needs to come undone in his palm, spatters of white hitting his chest as he fucks himself through his orgasm until he’s too sensitive to even make one more stroke, letting his head resting on the door behind him. Eyes closed, heavy breath and mouth completely dry, Jungkook takes some time to recover from the heavenly climax he just reached.

God, what he’d give to know that he had the exact effect you had on him, but you’re just too shy to do something about it here. If you were home, well that would be a different thing. You’d help yourself with your vibrator, fucking it into you like it was him. But now, now you’re just trying to contain your thoughts, waiting for him to come out and go to the cafe.

When you realize it’s been a while since he disappeared you decide it’s better to go and see if everything’s okay. Standing up you unsurely walk to the door of the fitting room, the structure of the building being always the same makes finding the way easier. You knock at the door.

«Jungkook? Are you okay?»

«I- uhm, I’m coming, give me a second!» he answers back with a high-pitched tone, so you nod and go back to your bench, waiting for him. It takes him another three minutes to finally come out, his hair are a little bit messy and you think he must’ve ran his hands through them a few times.

«Are we- are we still going?» he asks. With your worries at the door of the fitting room he thought you might have heard him before, but when you nod and smile he lets his previous thoughts fade.

You head out of the studio and to the cafe, trying to ignore the way your panties practically slips against your folds. Jungkook tries to think about what to say and how to begin a safe conversation for the both of you without feeling uncomfortable or awkward but he just can’t seem to find nothing else than the question he asks.

«You wanted to talk?» lowering his gaze to his side he looks at you walking in silence. You quickly nod.

«I wanted to thank you, actually» you turn to smile at him, the butterflies in in stomach invading every part of his body.,«You know, for Jin.»

«Oh, no- no problem» he smiles back, his eyes sparkling and you can’t deny the sudden warmth you feel in your chest. «It’s the least I could do, for what happened?» his sentence sounds again like a question, but by now you’re kinda used to it. You scoff.

«Let’s say I forgive you for the dress and the awkward meeting» you tease. His eyes squint and he wrinkles his nose.

«That wasn’t my fault» he murmurs.

«Your friend?»

He nods. «Teahyung»

«Well, then I forgive Teahyung and you for the dress» you smile again, his heart is beating like crazy.

«How much do I have to embarrass my-myself for the drink Yoongi spilled on you?» he’d like to giggle but he feels so freaking nervous that all he can do is let out a puff.

«I don’t know, you’re pretty good at that. I’d end up enjoying the show eventually and it wouldn’t be fair, I’d let you go on» you tease again. Jungkook’s cheeks heat up. His brain trying to understand if you’d say something like this because you like the way he acts around you or just for the fun of teasing him. The truth is, neither you know it now.

«It’s the thing I seem to be better at» your giggle makes him feel lighter.

«I was kidding» you stop your steps and he realizes you’re already in front of the cafe.

«You’re forgiven, more than forgiven. I actually feel like I owe you something now» you explain looking directly in his dark eyes, and damn, he’s really beautiful.

«Oh- no, no! Don’t, please» he shakes his head. «I- I wanted to make it up to you, you don’t owe me anything»

«Well, let me get you a coffee or something you’d like at least?» you point at the shop behind you. Jungkook licks his lips and takes another deep breath before nodding, following you in and trying to look elsewhere but the way you swing your hips with every step. You’re gonna be the death of him, and he’s slowly falling even more with every word you say.

Thanks to the time the cafe is almost empty, only two or three clients are sit on the chairs at the counter. Nevertheless, you sit at your favorite table, the one in the corner always forgotten by practically everyone. There’s something about this table that makes you feel safe, maybe it’s because no one seems to look at it, sometimes even the waitress forgets it.

«I’ll get a tea» you announce without even glancing at the menu, Jungkook tilts his head to the side and hides his head behind it. You wait for him to choose what he wants and when he’s done you raise your hand to the waitress behind the counter. The woman quickly walks to you, giving you a gentle smile.

«What can I serve you?»

«A tea for me»

«I’ll have a Red Velvet latte» Jungkook says, leaving you amused by his choice. The waitress quickly nods and leaves you with another smile.

«Red Velvet?» you ask «I’ve always wanted to try it but I always end up with tea or coffe» you reveal, Kook raises his eyebrows.

«I like- I like it. Maybe you want a sip?»

«Don’t worry, I’ll get it the next time»

«We can switch drinks if you want» he says as the same time as you.

«Really, Jungkook, don’t worry» you smile at him.

«Anyway, I really am thankful for Jin yesterday. He helped me a lot, without him I’d probably end up having a breakdown» you scoff at the end of your sentence even though it’s true. Jungkook watches you as you speak, completely taken by your words and the way you move your lips, your voice seems to be the only thing catching his ears now, not even one of his favorite songs playing in the background gets him.

«Thank you for being so nice and help me, Jungkook. It was Sunday and-»

«Hey, no problem» he cuts off your rumbling with his hand on yours, and the second he realizes what he has just done he takes it away with wide eyes. The only trace he leaves on your skin is the dampness of his sweaty palms.

«I’m- I’m sorry»

«Stop it, please» you almost whine and his features instantly sadden, afraid he just made another mistake. He tries to hide his expression but fails, and the guilt sneaks into you making you shake your head.

«I mean, stop being so stiff. Tell me, what is it?» you ask.

«What?»

«What do I do to make you this nervous?» you ask again. «I can try and-»

«It’s not you.» he cuts you off again. «I- I mean it is you, but it’s me. I-» he stutters.

«I can try to hide my face if you want» youironically propose as you grab the menu and cover your face with it. Jungkook frowns but immediately smiles at your silliness. «Does it work?»

«It- It’s not making any difference» he holds back a laugh.

«Are you sure?» you giggle. He shakes his head.

«I am, just- please, look at me» his words play a strange trick on your mind, making you harshly gulp as your heart skips a few beats. It’s noy like he had just said something that important, but your mind goes blank for a second.

«Y/N?» he calls, eyes fixated on the menu you’re holding. He stretches his arm out and grabs at the paper, slowly lowering it from your face. Your eyes, your nose, your lips. Jungkook stares at every feature of your face taking in the sight in front of him, the power you have on him is fucking scary, and he’s realizing it for the first time now looking in your eyes.

«What happened?» he lets out in a whisper, not really certain of his voice at the moment. You gulp and shake your head. You don’t even know what happened, how are you supposed to explain him?

«There you go, your tea and your Red Velvet» the waitress comes in the way, and you thank her in your mind for saving you from the awkward situation you just putted yourself into. However, the interruption is fast and she leaves in a matter of seconds leaving you with your drinks.

You can’t help but glance at his glass, the crimson color of the drink intrigues you and the chocolate chips on top are the perfect frame. Jungkook lifts it from the table and stretches his arm again towards you, putting the drink basically under your nose.

«Try it» he manages to say holding his breath. He doesn’t even know where he gained all of this boldness, he just did it without thinking. And now that you stare at him he’s beginning to think he’s making things awkward again.

Your hands cover his, giving birth to another session of butterflies in his stomach and a shudder running down your spine. Jungkook understands he has to remove his hand from the glass to make you drink and he slips away like he just got burn by a blazing fire.

Taking a sip you let yourself taste the sweetness of the latte and the chocolate chips before giving him his drink again, deciding this will definitely be your next order at this place.

«It’s so good» you whine, Jungkook smiles.

«It’s one of my favorite drinks, Jin- he always tries new things and likes to feed us like babies. He introduced me to this»

«I really like it» you bring your cup of tea to your lips, taking a sip. «My tea is so boring now» his smile widens.

«We can really switch drinks if you-»

«No, don’t worry, really»

He nods, taking the first sip of his Red Velvet.

«So Jin is kinda like the mama of the group?» Jungkook smiles at your comment.

«He is the oldest» he nods. «He likes to take care of us and we like to eat» you giggle at his words.

«His cooking is really good, I haven’t eaten that good in months. I should have insisted more on paying him» you take another sip from your tea.

«Trust me, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it» Jungkook smiles at you, and it’s a matter of seconds before he finally noticed he’s not stuttering anymore. In fact, he feels more comfortable. «He was happy to help»

«Oh, trust me, he helped me a lot»

You try to think what would’ve happen yesterday if it wasn’t for him, the result would have been even worse than it already is. Jungkook’s heart warms up knowing he was really able to help you, he made something right. The smile you have on your face makes him want to work even more to create a brand new one.

«What about Yoongi? Does he spill his drinks on everyone?»

«No, he doesn’t» Jungkook scoffs and avoids telling you the reason why he actually spilled it. «He’s the second hyung. Actually, he’s usually very quiet. His stage name is Suga»

«I heard about him» you raise your eyebrows. «Someone told me he injured his shoulder fighting over a first prize but I didn’t think it was him they were talking about, and honestly I didn’t know if it was true» 

The maknae shakes his head. «It’s not true. He actually got injured while working, he had to find a job to pay for his dance lessons and eventually he started a delivering job. He got hit by a car.» Jungkook stares at the wooden table «People often say that or that he tried to beat one of the judges and got kicked in his ass. I don’t get why they like to make up something so stupid» an heavy sigh leaves his lips.

«Last year I broke my uncle because I was pushing myself too hard for a contest and eventually I didn’t perform. I heard people say I couldn’t ‘cause I was pregnant» you tell him, the memory still makes you wrinkle your nose. Jungkook’s eyes widens before he opens his mouth.

«I hate rumors» he mumbles. «Who- who do you want to know about now?» he stutters a little bit, deciding to bring back the conversation to a positive vibe.

«Taehyung? Was it his name?» you squint your eyes.

«Yes» he nods. «Taehyung is the second maknae and a fashion icon in the group, we always try to look as cool as him but he just has that something that makes you give up and stay in your sweat pants.» you giggle at his comment and he can’t help but smile at your sparkling eyes.

«He doesn’t usually act like the first time we met, he’s pretty confidential.» Jungkook takes the last sip of his Red Velvet and you do the same with your now almost cold tea while you take in all the informations.

«Namjoon is the dad of the group, he’s always willing to give you advices but at the same time able to give you a good shake. He and Jimin are my go to when I need to talk to someone, but the others are pretty good at listening too. Jimin is the third maknae»

«Who’s the first?»

Jungkook puckers his lips. «Me» 

«How old are you?»

«I’m twenty two» he answers, remembering this is the last day he gets to say it. For a little moment he thinks of you at his birthday, but he forces himself to push the picture away, it would be weird to invite you when you’re talking fr the first time.

«I’m older than you!» you can’t help but exclaim, Jungkook licks his lips.

«Really?»

You nod.«I’m twenty four»

«How- how should I call you then?» he bits his lips, a little bit of nervousness sneaks again into him, worried you don’t like the way he has been talking to you.

«Oh, please don’t call me noona!» you shake your head and smile at him.

«Are you sure?»

«Yes, Jungkook. Don’t change the way you were talking to me, I liked it. It was natural» you smile at him, your heart beats faster when a smile shines on his face and lights up his features. Jungkook is trying to be as natural as he can, trying to speak without blubbering still stunned by your presence in front of him, and hearing those words make him less tense.

«Hoseok is the only one left. He’s a ray of sunshine, always able to make you smile and laugh. His stage name is J-Hope. He’s a spring, his movements are as fluid as water. Oh, and he can’t hide his expressions whenever he’s angry, even though it’s difficult to annoy him. His face goes like this» Jungkook’s try to emulate his friend is quickly cut off by your bursting laugh because of his expression, and he can’t hold back his giggles at the sound of your happiness.

«Sounds like a beautiful group» you say when you finally stop laughing, your cheeks are hurting while you take a look inside your mug, realizing only now it’s empty.

«It is, they’re my family» the tone he uses makes a knot built up in your throat, smiling melancholic. And who the hell knows why, Jungkook notices it. 

«Is- is something wrong? Did I say-»

«No, no, no. It’s fine, I’m fine» you quickly say smiling again. He would like to ask you what’s wrong again until you’d probably end up answering him but he thinks he’d invade your personal space and annoying you.

«Are you sure? I- I know I ask this a lot but-»

«I’m sure, thank you for asking» you interrupt him with another gentle smile. Jungkook knows it’s not true, but he nods anyway, bringing his gaze to his empty glass. His action makes you bring yours to your phone, unlocking the screen and realizing only now it’s almost eight and a half.

«I should go now»

He raises his glance, the feeling in his chest it’s telling him to not let you go but he can’t do that.

«I’ll see you tomorrow at the studio?» you ask him while getting up from your chair, rummaging through your purse looking for the wallet. Jungkook is about to say yes when he remembers tomorrow it’s their free day.

«No, not tomorrow» he smiles at you getting up and producing a shrill sound with his chair against the floor, his cheeks heat up for the fiftieth time only in an hour.

«Oh, I guess I’ll see you on Wednesday then? Or whenever we-»

«Could you give me your number?»

If he thought his heart already risked a heart attack many times with you, then now he should be dead from the way it’s beating. Blood running through his body so fast that he can hear it his in his ears, the tip of them and his cheeks flashing red, palms sweating more than before. Maybe he shouldn’t have asked you.

You stare at him for a few seconds, completely stuttered by his question as you gulp harshly and blink a few times.

«You- you promise you won’t send me nudes?» you joke, and this time you are the one who’s left with her mouth agape, wondering where the hell that just came out from. «Oh my-»

«If you don’t ask for them I won’t» Jungkook scoffs, the fact you just said something like that is making him feel lighter. You raise your eyebrows at him.

«I won’t, I surely won’t» you quickly rebut but you’re afraid he might be offended so you keep adding words making everything worse. «I mean- not that I wouldn’t like them, it’s just-»

«Y/N» he interrupts your dwelling. «I- I won’t send or ask for nudes» he laughs at his own words at the end of the sentence, making you grimace.

«I’m- I’m sorry, I don’t know why I said that»

«It’s okay» he smiles at you and you let out a shaky breath before putting ten bucks on the table and heading to the door with him.

Jungkook dials your number on his phone and quickly sends you a message to let you save his, still freaking out in his mind for what happened in just an hour of being with you.

The afraid of being awkward he felt at the beginning is still there, but he feels more comfortable now that he knows a little bit about you. He’s still nervous, palms still sweaty and heart still beating like crazy, gaze still trying to lock with yours just to shudder and blush under it. He likes the way his nervousness shaded with the comfortableness you made him feel talking to you, his chest both threatening to explode because of the tension but still tasting the sweetness of the naturalness and ease, the combo is one of the weirdest to ever exist, but it’s true.

«Goodbye, Jungkook» you smile at him after putting your phone back in your purse. You think about your actions for a moment before quickly tiptoeing and leaving a soft peck on his cheek that makes him almost feel dizzy. The way your soft lips touched his skin will haunt him even in his dreams tonight. He’s not rapid enough to smile at you while you turn and walk away, too shocked by your actions, but he smiles anyway.

This is the first time Jungkook realizes he just had a bite of the cake, and now he wants to eat it all.

«Are you kidding?» Taehyung’s deep voice resonates through the stairwell and Jungkook can hear it even by pulling his phone away from his ear.

«I’m not, Tae» he rushes to the door and hangs up before opening it sure that his friend is already there. In fact, he is. Standing still in front of him in his Gucci palazzo trousers looking like a model.

«Happy birthday, Kookie» he smiles at him and hugs him tight making Jungkook chuckle.

«You just said it on the phone»

«I know» he pats his shoulder. «Where are the others?»

«They’re coming» Jungkook takes a look to his lounge, the table is already set and the food is almost ready, Jin will be proud of him.

«Is she coming too?» Taehyung asks, Jungkook turns like top.

«What? No»

«Why not?»

«I don’t know... we don’t have that much of intimacy. And with you?» he knits his eyebrows thinking of the possible ending of doing something like that. «She’d probably feel like a fish out of water and you’re gonna embarrass me if I’m not the one doing it» he shakes his head.

The bell rings and Kook rushes to the door to welcome his friends, Hobi and Jin are standing there with the biggest smiles on their faces and hands full of envelopes, smiles as bright as the sun.

«There will be a day when you’ll be old and people will make fun of you, and it’s coming! Happy birthday!» Jin hugs the maknae laughing for his own words and Jungkook does the same. Hobi joins the hug, making Tae grimace and run to them.

«I feel alone» he mumbles before wrapping his arms around the three of them, Jungkook in the middle is almost dying, being the burger in the middle of the bread.

«Happy birthday!» Hobi screams, his voice echoing in the hallways remembers Jungkook the door is still open.

«Okay, now set me free» he laughs. «Where are the others?» their grip on him loosen and he finally closes the door.

«They went to buy you a cake, Seokjin made you one but Joon ate it last night without knowing it was yours» Hobi burst out laughing.

«It was obvious! He should’ve known it!» Jin screams frustrated with his eyes wide.

«Look at that!» Jimin points at the cake through the glass, his eyes sparkling at the sight and his mouth begging to taste the sweetness of the sponge cake. He looks like a baby.

«Ugh, Chimin! It’s for Jungkook, not you!» Namjoon scolds him making the corners of his mouth drop.

«I know what he likes!» he says back. Yoongi shuts his eyes, they’ve been in here for almost ten minutes now, fighting over which cake they could buy and not really getting anything.

«Do you-»

«He’ll like that» Yoongi cuts off Joonie’s words and point at the cake nodding to the pastry chef behind the counter who quickly smiles at him.

«Could you write “Jungkook” on top of it?» Jimin asks with a kind smile, the baker nods and he raises his eyebrows at Namjoon.

«See? It’s gonna be perfect, you need to listen to me!»

Namjoon sighs and shakes his head, taking a glance out of the shop to see his girlfriend still in the car waiting for them, eyes fixated on her phone.

Your parents had decided to ring your doorbell without telling you they were coming over. Luckily - or unfortunately - it’s Tuesday, and on Tuesday you’re usually home for lunch, but when the doorbell squeaked you didn’t really think it was them. Maybe the postman or a neighbor, but not your parents.

«Surprise!» they both screamed. It was the worst surprise ever. You didn’t know they were coming so you didn’t make lunch for them, didn’t tidy up properly, didn’t hide your things and didn’t lock your door. Plus, you weren’t prepared for another mental breakdown, not so soon after they gave you one just two days ago. And you still aren’t now, listening to them talking while you eat your salad.

«Your mother decided to come visit Ailiseu for a few days and September is already here so we decided not to wait until next month, it’ll be too cold» your father explains, his smile going from ear to ear. You instantly pray for the mental health of your cousin knowing how your parents can be, she’s gonna go out of her mind.

«Exactly! And we’re staying at her place, since she has a big house. Sorry honey, we would’ve asked you but we thought we’d be too much in here.»

«No problem» you try to sound as kind as possible. This is the good side of having a small house, at least.

«How long will you stay?»

«Three days» your father says «but we’re going to Ailiseu for dinner, we’d like to spend today with you»

«Take a day off of work.» your mother points her index finger at you. «We’ll have fun! We could go to the mall and buy some clothes, I really don’t like the shirt you’re wearing»

You stop eating fixing your gaze on your meal and trying to stay calm. This is a nightmare. How are you supposed to not go to work when they saw you were fine this morning? And notify them in half an hour? Your boss is going to go out of his mind and kill you. You won’t even be able to rehearsal today, obviously.

«Mom, I-»

«Please?» your father cuts you off.

You give up. It’s scientifically proven that you can’t beat them at this game without bursting out, that would definitely lead to an argument and you really are not in the mood for it. So you nod and finish your lunch listening to all their stories, your mother complaining about everything: the broken electric hand dryer at the gas station they stopped in, the way your father drives, your shirt - again -, your salad, your house and again your job. All of her words only make you wish to end this day as soon as possible but against your desire, time only seems to slow down while you wait for your her to come out of the bathroom.

You’re ready to go to the mall, you already called your boss and told him you had a setback and couldn’t go back to work this afternoon, and like you predicted before he didn’t sound happy at all, groaning things you couldn’t understand and quickly hanging up. Your mother is been in the bathroom for twenty minutes now making you frown and sink in your couch. When she finally comes out you head to the door in a second.

«Let’s go shopping!»

Your feet are hurting, if they could talk their exact words would be “fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck” at every step you take. You’ve been in here for almost six hours now, dragged from a shop to another, from a salon to a shoe store and you’re pretty sure that by now you entered all the shops in the mall.

«What’s the time?» your mother finally stops walking at your father’s question, taking a glance at her golden watch.

«It’s almost eight,» she answers raising her eyes to you «we should probably go. Do you mind giving us a ride to Ailiseu’s place?»

You try to fake a small and force yourself to nod despite your tiredness, all you’d like to do now is lay down and sleep. Your brain health is being put to serious danger today, with all your parents endless rumblings and complaints, your mother even tried to buy you a shirt just for you to go change the one you have on in the public restrooms.

You head to your car with big strides and yawning, your parents’ words behind you about how beautiful your cousin’s house is  and how much their parents must be proud of her are making your chest heavy and your head pound.

You hope not to stay stuck in traffic once you get in your car and get out of the parking lot. You only make it to a few blocks before your wishes and hopes totally fade away, the cars blocking the street and the sounds of the honking filling your ears.

«We’re gonna be late, Ailiseu is waiting for us» your father sighs.

«Can’t you take a different road?»

«How am I supposed to take a different road now? There are cars behind me» you huff at your mother’s words.

«Then honk!»

«It’s not gonna change a thing, everyone is doing that!» you claim. Your dad shakes his head.

You wait at least five minutes before you move again, the silence only filled with your mother’s huffs and annoyed muttering. When you think you finally made it and you’re gonna be home soon, a loud thud makes you shudder and not even a second later you’re being pushed against the wheel because of the swing of your car, hitting your forehead against the glass of the windshield.

It takes you a few moments to realize you just got hit and before you know it you’re already putting on your hazards and heading out of your car. How is it even possible to witness to accidents in just a few days? 

You take a look to your parents while they do the same as you and when you see they’re fine you let out a sigh of relief that lasts as quickly as it came out. Your car is devastated at the back and there is no way you can walk home without shedding parts along your way, you only feel grateful that you and your parents are not hurt.

The man in the car behind you approaches you with fast steps and a worried face, tired eyes and shaky voice.

«I’m so sorry, I should’ve been more careful»

You don’t even understand how he managed to make such a mess to your car with the traffic on the streets now, he probably came out from one of the small roads where there weren’t cars and you were the lucky one to welcome him in the jam.

The man leaves you his number telling you to call him once you know how much this is going to cost you and quickly leaves, you end up calling a taxi for your parents and a tow truck for your car, trying to stay as awake as possible. After forty five minutes of waiting you’re so tired that you could lay down and sleep in the middle of the road if it wasn’t for the cars threatening your life, but apparently someone is hearing your prayers and the tow truck comes to rescue you. Your car is brought to the mechanic and you say goodbye to another one hundred bucks for the tow truck. You’re left alone in the middle of the jam, so you move to the sidewalk ready to call a cab. You had the worst day and you’re already thinking of how much you’ll have to work to get all the money you just lost back.

«Y/N?»

You’re being caught off guard when someone calls you while you’re bringing the phone to your ear. When you turn and find Jin smiling at you you quickly hang up.

«Jin, hi»

«What are you doing here?» he looks down at you as if he’s the Eiffel Tower and you’re the grass.

«Uhm, my car broke, I was going to call a taxi»

«If you want I can give you a ride? Can you wait a little bit? Just the time to sing happy birthday to Jungkook and give him the gifts, we’re looking forward to embarrass him» he laughs.

«Oh, it’s Jungkook’s birthday?» Jin nods realizing only now that Kook probably didn’t tell you. «I don’t know... I don’t want to bother, I wasn’t invited and I don’t have a gift and-»

«I think you’re thinking too much» he quickly cuts you off. «I don’t think it will be a problem for Jungkook or the others, he’ll be happy to see you»

You sigh. You could call a taxi and wait for it, spend another fifty bucks and head home. Or you could wait a little bit and spend the time you’d spend waiting on the street with them and maybe have a little bit of fun after this awful day, maybe. If things won’t get awkward again. It’d save you money you could use for the groceries, after all.

«Lead the way» you end up saying thanking him with a warm smile. He nods and soon you’re in the elevator waiting for the doors to open, hoping not to look as awful as you feel right now. You still feel sorry to break into his birthday party without an invitation, a gift or even a little bit of more intimacy between you two, so when the doors open and you hear the laughters coming from one of the apartments you think of getting back outside and call a cab. But it’s too late, one of his friends already holds the door open for Jin, glancing over his shoulder with curious eyes and widening them at you.

«Jimin, this is Y/N» Jin introduces you to his friend gesturing with his hands an impossible language for you to understand, not that it does have meaning, he’s just trying to tell him to contain his expressions.

«Y/N, hi!» his voice is soft and it makes you smile without an apparent reason. You link him to Jungkook’s words yesterday, the third maknae and apparently, the friend he often chooses to ramble on to.

«Jungkook!» he screams over the laughters coming from the other room, eyes still fixated on you.

«Teahyung won’t let me come!» At the sound of how happy is voice sounds, laughing and cracking in the middle you can’t avoid the warmth in your chest.

«Come in» Jimin steps aside and lets you and Jin in the house. «You can give your coat to me»

You thank him and give him your coat before you’re following Jin in the other room where the others are. Their laughters stop in a second when they glance at you, now filling the place just with silence. Jungkook’s heart stops beating for a moment, totally shocked and overwhelmed by your presence, mouth agape and eyes widened. He wasn’t prepared to see you, he totally wasn’t. He stares at blankly as if he just saw a ghost and not even when Taehyung finally sets him free from his hold he’s able to say something. Your cheeks are burning like fire under all their gazes.

«I’m Taehyung» the guy who was holding him smiles at you and takes a few steps before reaching out his hand. «I’m sorry about the awkward meeting»

«Oh, don’t worry» you shrug at the memory.

«Jungkook?» a deep voice seems to wake him up from his trance, Namjoon is telling him to do something with his eyes.

«I’m Namjoon»

Soon enough all of them gather around you and shake your hand welcoming you into the house with bright smiles and kind words. The only girl in the group tells you to call her Kitty and tells you she’s the Namjoon’s girlfriend, she seems pretty nice and you end up talking for at least twenty minutes, all of your tiredness seems to disappear. The only one you still didn’t talk to is Jungkook, and you’re afraid he’s annoyed by your presence. The thought makes your head throb, but you wouldn’t blame him after all. It’s his birthday and sure he’d like to spend it with the people he loves, not with you that he doesn’t know much and weren’t even invited.

«You should go talk to her» Namjoon whispers in Kookie’s ear.

As if he hasn’t thought about it already. Jungkook knows he should talk to you, but as I said before, he really isn’t prepared for this. And seeing you talking with his friends and smiling makes the feeling in his chest even more uncontainable. You’re smiling and you seem at ease with them, sipping from your glass from time to time and laughing at Jin’s jokes. He likes this picture, you in his house, all bright and happy. He could get used to it. And all of this, only makes his anxiety grow until it’s skyrocketing.

«I’m gonna say or act awkward and ruin things again, I’m not-»

«And do you think that staying here won’t? She’s in your house, it’s your birthday and you didn’t even greet her. It surely...» he trails off when you take a few steps towards them. Jungkook bits the petal of his lower lip feeling the usual but still new mixture of emotions rushing through his blood until it reaches his chest and totally takes over him. Namjoon pats at his shoulder and glance at you with a kind smile before standing up from the couch with Hobi and heading to the kitchen. Jungkook stares at you for the millionth time, wishing to say something, anything, but the words are caught in his throat.

«Happy birthday» you stop in front of him, glancing down at the pillows beside him. «Can I?»

 He raises his eyebrows and opens his mouth even more before nervously nodding.

«I’m sorry,» you say softly after sitting on the couch «I didn’t want to break in and annoy you, my car broke and Jin offered me a ride home and-»

«You didn’t annoy me, you don’t annoy me. Never- you never annoy me» he blurts out. «You- you can stay as much as you want» his cheeks are heating up, and you don’t even know why but you suddenly smile like a baby, his words make you feel more at ease.

«I don’t have a gift»

«It doesn’t matter» he smiles at you, your heart both stuttering when you lock eyes.

«If I’m being honest, I-» he stops talking, eyes shifting from yours to meet the ground.

«What?»

Jungkook stays silent for a moment, thinking about what he wants to say over and over again, trying not to make it sound as cheesy as it sounds in his head, but the truth is that there aren’t other words to express it.

«I like you here»

«What?»

«I-» he gulps «I like you here, with us?» he wants to slap himself. Why did he even think about telling you something like this?

«You seem happy?»

You squint your eyes at him, something about this conversation is making you more nervous than usual.

«I think I am?» why are you asking him?

Jungkook scoffs at your tone, it comes out so naturally that it makes your heart flutter. «You don’t sound so sure about that» he quotes your words, a bright smile creeping upon your face.

«Everyone is so nice and easy-going, and they made me feel comfortable even though I wasn’t meant to be here» you shrug. «You weren’t joking when you talked about them»

«Actually...» he clears his throat «I though of invating you yesterday but I- I didn’t cause I though it would be weird? I mean-»

«Jungkook, you don’t need to explain me why you didn’t invite me. Don’t justify yourself»

«I’m not» he replies fast enough to make you knit your eyebrows.

«But I’m happy you’re here now» the sound of those words are like sugar to your hypoglycemic heart, hearing them makes you feel something you never experienced, something that you missed since you were a little girl. The simple act of being happy to have someone near you and not expect anything from them is something you never witnessed, neither from your parents, even though they love you under those cold masks they wear. People always seemed to expect something from you, always. Jungkook is not telling those words without meaning them, he’s not expecting a thing from you. Not even a gift.

«Jungkook!» Hobi screams from the kitchen, tone breaking into a laughter and soon joined by others too. Jungkook shuts his eyes for a moment and then smiles before standing up from the couch. With boldness he didn’t think he has, he stretches his hand out for you to grab it, waiting with held breath and unsure dark doe-eyes staring directly into yours.

It’s a matter of seconds before you loose up and reach out to his hand, fingers intertwining with each other’s and a shudder running down your spine.

Jungkook stands still for a moment, his hand is limp against yours, he didn’t really think you’d grab his hand, not in this way. You’re not holding it to help you stand up, you’re intertwining your fingers with him. It’s different. The heat rising in your cheeks makes you feel like a teenager with her first crush and only now you realize that that’s why your heart is pounding and your brain is overthinking more than usual. You’re about to split away since he doesn’t tightens his grip on you, mentally slapping yourself for doing something like this. You’re fingers leave his and Jungkook’s chest feels suddenly more heavy. Reaching out again, he grabs your hand, fingers intertwine with yours and this time in a tight and sicure grip. His hands are a little bit sweaty for the nervousness, but so are yours. Your heart stutters, breath held as if you were free diving.

Both of you stand still for a moment before turning to look at each other, not even the time to say something that Hoseok is calling again from the kitchen.

«Jungkookie!»

«Happy birthday!» the screams fill the apartment, Jungkook’s features are priceless with his eyes squinted and his cheeks flashing red, trying as best as he can not to die under everyone’s affections.

«Blow out the candles!» Jimin shouts «I’m the one who choose the cake!»

The happiness and the intimacy in the room is so overwhelming that you feel out of place for a moment, but Taehyung grabs you by your arm and brings you closer to the group.

«Come here, embarrass him with us» he winks making you laugh. Jungkook shakes his head, he’s still at ease for the happy birthday song but he can’t fight the big bunny smile taking over his face. And when he sees you laughing with Teahyung, it takes him just a second to let go of the uncomfortable feeling in his chest only to be left with the desire of the sweet taste of the cake, and not the one on the wooden table.

Taking a deep breath he blows out the candles, eyes fixated over you making your heart skip a few beats. He doesn’t even think of a wish, all he wants it’s here tonight; the warmth of his friends, the love they feel for each other, maybe the new beginning of something, anything.

The candles die out, leaving the room in the dark for a few seconds before someone finally turns the lights on.

«Time for the presents!» Namjoon screams.

«Oh, please!» Jungkook whines and the laughters of his friends grow even more. Yoongi disappears to bring all the bags with the presents in and everyone except from Jungkook and Hoseok seats on the carpet in front of the couch even though it’s empty, you guess it’s one of their habits.

«I’m gonna cut the cake» Hobi announces turning around to face the table and start his task while Jungkook makes his way through the bodies of his friends, apparently towards you. He stops in front of you, still standing still a little bit out of place.

«You wanna sit on the couch?» he points at the sofa and you end up asking yourself why you didn’t do it sooner. You sit on the cushions, eyes fixated in front of you even when he follows you and sits beside you under everyone’s gaze, his friends staring at him before gazing away.

«Here comes the cake!» Hobi is a ray of sunshine with his bright smile while he distributes the dishes to everyone and soon enough you’re closing your eyes and letting out a whine at the taste of the sponge cake.

«It’s so good» you let out with your mouth full, words almost puzzling. Jungkook bursts out laughing and you need to gulp trying not to choke.

«Ah! See?» Jimin points at Namjoon «I choose it!» he turns to you with bright eyes and a big smile reaching his eyes.

«My taste buds are thanking you» 

Yoongi enters the room with his hands full of bags and places them beside Jungkook.

«Alright, let’s begin» he sits in front of the couch. Jungkook takes a deep breath and turns to grab the first bag.

«This is from?»

«Ugh, I forgot to write it again» Hobi murmurs making everyone laugh. Jungkook opens all the gifts, every single one of them makes you know him a little more, a little better, a little deeper. From the sweater of Hoseok to the set of products for his skincare by Jimin, they all tell you something about him. It’s Jin’s turn when he suddenly gets up from the carpet and shakes his head in the jumpiest of ways.

«Wait, wait, wait!» he almost screams. When he realizes what he’s doing he try to fake a smile. «I need to talk to you»

«What?»

«I need to talk to you» he repeats.

«Now?»

«Jungkook ya! Yes, now!» Jin looks at him with eyes widened almost as if he’s trying to communicate with him but Jungkook can’t really understand what is happening, so he just wakes up and follows Jin in another room, not a second later the hyung comes back just to bring his presence for Kookie with him.

«Alright, I’m gonna take another piece of cake» Namjoon says, her girlfriend gets up from the carpet with him to do the same. Taehyung smiles at you from the ground and quickly gets up, sitting next to you. You end up talking for at least ten minutes, conversation as fluid as the water and a comfortable feeling of naturalness you haven’t been feeling for a long time. You think you’d like to hang out with them more, they make you feel good with their positivity.

Jungkook finally comes back in the room after fifteen minutes, gaze and smile that now you can identify as nervous. He sits on the couch beside you grabbing Jin’s present again, digging in the bag until he finds it. Ripping the paper off, the new set of kitchen tools lights up his eyes. Now that the presents are all discarded, Jin looks at you.

«Do you want to go home now?»

Would that be wrong or weird if your answer was no? You glance at Jungkook, his eyes already on you.

«Wait, wait!» he bursts out, now standing up and heading out of the room. Your expression is blank until he comes back, wondering what just happened. Jin seems to smile when he see his friend rushing back with a bag in his left hand.

«Come ou- out, please?» Jungkook asks. You nod still uncertain and you follow him to the balcony, he makes sure to close the door behind you so that nobody can hear you.

Silence fills the air just for a little bit, the only sound that can be heard is the night, so peaceful and quiet, the light whistle of the wind. Jungkook is again repeating to himself that he can talk without embarrassing himself or making you feel awkward, he did it until now, kinda. He clears his throat and raises his gaze, hand scratching his neck. This can’t go worst than the first times you met, after all. It’s a simple action.

«I-» he stops without even starting.

«Am I making you nervous again?»

His expression changes, eyes widening and mouth hanging agape as he starts to shake his head.

«No, I- I mean...» he trails off and you don’t know why, but you feel the need to reassure him. So you smile at him, one of those warm smiles that makes his heart stutter and wonder if he’ll ever get to see another one, if this one doesn’t kill him. He gathers all his strength to talk through the smile that wants to take over his features.

«I’ve got your dress» he lifts his hand.

«What?»

«I’ve- I’ve got your dress. This is your dress, the dress you wanted» his cheeks are burning.

«It-it’s not my dress, it’s yours»

«I-» his eyes widen at the thought of the explanation he has to give you, so many words he wants to groan.

«I saw you liked the dress and-»

«You saw I liked the dress?»

«Yes, I mean- I was in the shop when you came in.» he claims. «I saw you looking at the dress and I thought you’d like it as an apology gift? So I- I was trying to understand the size you were looking for and praying that there was on- only one or that you’d let me buy it for you.» he quickly blurts out.

«There was, but you had already found it and I- I should’ve just walk away but I didn’t and-» he stops again.

«You know the end»

He had already told you what happened but you really didn’t think it was this, with the little details it sounds totally different. The silence makes his way again and Jungkook feels like he’s about to explode for the way his cheeks are heating up, so he’s quick to place the bag in your hands.

«I- I wanted to give it to you and I took it at the rehearsals. Jin- he mistook it for a towel and- this- this is a new one don’t worry. I tried to search for it online but apparently they only sell it in his store and Jin found it today and-»

«Thank you» you cut him off, your warm smile reaching your eyes and now setting on fire his. He’s sure he’s gonna burn by the end of this.

Opening the bag and raising your hands to look at the cloth you realize that you couldn’t care less now. It’s beautiful, but it’s just a piece of cloth. It’s the action behind it that you find more beautiful, even though you would’ve never think about it this way just a few days ago. Jungkook searched for it online, and he grabbed it from you because he wanted to buy it for you. Well, maybe he should learn how to contain himself, but it doesn’t matter. He never wanted to tease you or make you feel uncomfortable, it’s just a consequence of him being around you. And that’s exactly why he acted like that.

«I’m sorry»

«We need to stop to say that» you scoff. «I don’t care anymore, not now that I know what happened»

«So- you- you’re not mad at me?» 

«Why should I be?» you frown at him «Jungkook, I’m not. Honestly, I-» you stop talking to glance at him. And the only thing you can feel is your heartbeat raising until it’s skyrocketing, you can feel it in your ears. An insolite warmth, a weird sense of happiness you never got to really feel. And something inside you is telling you to fucking let go of your armor, break it apart and take a risk for once, just one and just now. Damn, how much you would like to know what’s the taste of his lips, of him. If only you were more bold.

«Trust me, I’m not mad at you» you almost whisper, so low you’re not even sure he heard it.

Jungkook shifts his gaze from you to the dress in your hands, and before he can stop himself the words are already leaving his mouth. 

«Do- do you want to wear it?» he wants to slap his face again.

«Now?»

«You’re right, do- don’t. I mean, if you want to wear it I-»

«Jungkook, stop talking»

You look into his dark doe-eyes fighting the urge to drown in them, but it’s just a matter of understanding it, you already are breathless and desperately swimming to get to the surface.

«I don’t think it’s the right dress code for tonight and Jin is probably waiting for me»

«I- I can give you a ride if you want? I mean, you can stay more, you know that?»

«I wouldn’t like to both-»

«You don’t.» he states, eyes never leaving yours.

«Please, stay? Just a little more. Or let me take you home?» he’s almost imploring for a little bit more of your presence, but he doesn’t care anymore, not now. There’s something inside him that doesn’t want to do anything else than let you know the effect you have on him, what a strong power.

«Alright» you breath out. «I’ll stay, but tomorrow I have to wake up at six, I’ll probably have to go in a little bit»

Jungkook nods and feels the guilt sneaking in at the same time.

«Oh, I didn’t know it. You- you can go»

«Jungkook, I’ll stay for a little bit more. Don’t worry.» you lightly scoff, his worrying for you causes a weird feeling in your chest. «I’d be happy to eat another piece of cake.» you smile.

«Plus, I like being with you» 

Jungkook feels his chest warming, the thought of him making you feel good almost sends him dizzy. He knows that he can’t answer you now, he’d just say or blubber something without any sense, so he just smiles. One of those smiles that you really don’t know what they do to you, but you can feel it.

You end up talking for another five minutes before he goes in to bring a piece of cake to share and to tell Jin he doesn’t have to leave now to take you home, you didn’t tell him if he can give you a ride, but Jin usually leaves pretty late, so it’s not a problem for him.

When he comes back again he’s sure he has never seen someone as beautiful as you. The way the light of the moon lights up your features and the shadows of the night make them look even more charming, the way the light breeze makes you hair swing.

Jungkook sits beside the table and you do the same, body facing the city lights that make you feel a little more small.

«Here» he gives you a spoon. You eat the cake, air filled with light laughters from time to time and light conversation. His presence really seems to make you feel good, lightweight. Like you haven’t felt in months. The end of the time you gave yourself quickly arrives and you end up standing up and ask him for the bathroom before you go home.

The tiredness is taking over you again, but you’re not regretting staying more, not even a little bit. Placing your phone and your purse on the washbasin you start to think of how fast things can change in just the slightest amount of time. Just a couple of days ago you thought he was trying to make fun of you with his friends, and now you’re enjoying their presence and wishing the night would last just a couple of house more, so that you could go to sleep later. But it’s not possible, so you quickly grab your purse and rush back where Jin is waiting for you. You told him before you would be leaving with him, even thought the thought of Jungkook giving you a ride home was screaming to come out, you don’t want to ruin the party by bringing away the birthday boy. Saying goodbye to everyone is like a promise of seeing each other again and you end up sharing your numbers with Namjoon’s girlfriend and with Teahyung, telling each other you’d like to hang out together.

When it’s Jungkook’s turn he hands you your bag with your dress in it knowing you left it on the balcony to go to the bathroom.

«I’ll see you tomorrow?» he asks with a low tone as if it’s a secret.

Thinking about what happened today with your car, you’re not quite sure if you’ll make it to the rehearsals tomorrow, you have to work until midday and if your boss lets you, you’d like to work overtime to save more money, you already spent a bunch of them for the tow truck and you still have to fix your car. You’re just glad your mechanic is a friend of yours and will probably give you a discount.

«I’m not sure I’ll make it, I’ll probably work overtime» you grimace. Jungkook‘s features fall a little bit but he’s quick not to show you and nods. You’re about to tiptoe and leave two pecks on his cheeks like you did with everyone when his hand reaches yours and your heart do cartwheels. Your fingers intertwine for the second time tonight and you can feel your cheeks heating up with his.

Jungkook keeps telling himself to not make you feel uncomfortable, this is a bad idea, but he really doesn’t understand you feel everything but uncomfortable right now. The warmth of his body is so close to yours that you’d like to crush in his arms without any hesitation. Looking up at him, he stares at your face, marveled by the way you make him feel before quickly tilting his head. The action is so fast you don’t have time to understand what’s happening, and in a second his lips are pressed against your forehead, gente and dangerously soft that you’d die to feel them on yours.

Without even realizing it your arm wraps around his back and he feels himself stiffening at the contact, he wasn’t expecting it, and neither his cock, now throbbing in his jeans and remembering him that its better if he lets you go. So he does so, trying to smile as best as he can and ignore the reddish of his cheeks. Thanks to God no one is watching you, or he’d be dead by now.

«Good night, Jungkook. And happy birthday.»

And so you smile at him and turn around to head to the door with Jin.

What a birthday.

It’s only the next day you realize you don’t have your phone. You want to yell at yourself for adding another piece to the puzzle of your stress. You did nothing but run like crazy for the whole morning at work and you thought that at least you could relax during your lunch break but apparently, it’s not possible. You have two free hours and you don’t have any idea about what you’re going to eat for lunch, but you repeat to yourself it doesn’t matter. You’re just praying you told the right address to the cab driver and hoping that he is home. You’re going to Jungkook’s, and the thought alone makes a fluttering sensation rush through your chest, and now you’re even more nervous. You usually wouldn’t break in people’s house like this but it’s the only way, you really need your phone today considering your car is at the mechanic’s and your parents are in the same city as you. You can’t wait until tomorrow and hope he’ll bring it to the studio, this is the only way.

When you find yourself opening the car door and taking a glance to the building in front of you it’s safe to say you feel relieved. At least the address is the right one. Your steps are smooth and you make it to the entrance door without any problem, but when you search for his name on the intercoms you suddenly feel stuck in place, your heart beating faster than usual. Repeating to yourself you need your phone, you press the button and wait for him to answer. A few seconds pass by and you’re already losing hope when finally a bzz signals that the entrance door is just being open. You expected him to ask you who you were but he simply quitted so you stare at the name on the button wondering if you should press it again. Your fingers move faster than your thoughts and a second later you’re waiting for him to answer to tell it’s you, but Jungkook seems to have a different idea and again, he just re opens the entrance door. Sighing gently and giving up, you enter the apartments and get in the elevator.

The thought of being here again is making your chest warm, so warm it feels like a summer day. Last night since the moment your head touched your pillow you thought about him shamelessly, trying to understand the way he made you feel and to categorize it in some kind of way. You found no answer, you don’t even understand yourself when you’re with him. Yesterday has been one of the worst days ever but it took him nothing to make it better for you, even with his stuttering and nervousness, he was able to make you feel... mattered? Since the moment you met him for the first time Jungkook screwed up almost every time you talked, but he always found a way of making it up, maybe with a little bit of unease and already on his way to screw up one more time, but he did. And just the simple fact he cares enough to try even though he knows you so little makes you smile and worry at the same time. You’re not used to all this attention, you’re usually the one who’s always trying to hard, at his place.

The doors open and and you have to go out to let the person in front of you get in the elevator, so you end up staring at his door.

«I’m going now!» a yell comes from inside, you don’t have time to understand whose voice it is or what it’s happening that Jimin is already standing in front of you with his eyebrow raised and a smile forming on his lips.

«Hi, Y/N»

«Jimin, stop teasing me!» Jungkook screams from inside. Jimin widens his eyes and then his lips in a shocked expression as you smile at him.

«Hi, Jimin»

Just the sound of your voice and the maknae is losing it all, rushing to the door to see if his mind played a trick on him. Apparently it didn’t, since you’re staring at him with your mouth open and your breath stuck in your throat, and Jimin has pretty much the same expression.

Why are you... Oh-

«Fuck, I’m sorry» his cheeks heat up and Jimin shuts his eyes as Jungkook realizes he’s not wearing his shirt, fast enough to run to his bedroom that he could challenge the wind. His friend shakes his head.

«I should go, see you» he holds the door open for you to enter and then goes out with a warm smile. The second he shuts it you’re left in a house that now seems ten times bigger than yesterday night, maybe for the lack of people, maybe for the silence. Or maybe because you feel so little in this moment you wouldn’t be surprised if someone stepped on you.

«I’m sorry to break in your apartment like this» you speak out loud, not sure if he hears you. Jungkook bites his lips.

«I forgot my phone and-»

«Here» he shows up from the corner of the short hallway, your phone in his hand.

«Thank you» you grab it and put it in your purse.

«I charged it for you yesterday night»

«Oh, really?» he nods. You smile as another thank you and Jungkook opens his mouth to speak when a low grr fills the air and this time it’s you the one with your cheeks reddening.

«Are- are you hungry?» What a stupid question, of course you are. «I made some pasta if you want it»

«I should be back to work in an hour and a half and I’m not sure I have the time to eat, I have to wait for a cab too»

«I- I can take you? If you want?» he licks his lips. «It’d save you time and the pasta is ready»

He’s right, and your stomach is dying to be filled.

«Alright» you nod and he smiles triumphant, the way his eyes seem to smile at your words makes you wonder.

«Why are you so kind to me?»

Jungkook’s smile turns into a slight pout that makes you want to peck his lips as he raises his eyebrows.

«What do you mean?»

You struggle to find the right words. «I- You... you always try to help me or worry about me, even for little things like when we went to the cafe and you kept on asking me if I wanted to switch drinks. When things become awkward it’s because you try to make a good impression and fail, but you’re always trying.» the tone you’re using makes Jungkook grimace. He can tell you’re not used to this from the way you’re shifting your weight from foot to foot as you speak.

How can he explain it to you? How can he tell you he’s so head over heels for you he can’t even think of stop trying? Jungkook bites the petal of his lips furiously as his mind tries to find the right answer, but there is not and he lets out a strangled groan as he realizes it.

« I... I- I really like you» 

Your expression is blank, totally. His words almost seem not to touch you as he studies every part of your face for a reaction.

«You’re not used to this, ri- right?» he scratches the back of his neck.

«I’m really not» you breath out. Jungkook knits his brows together.

«Do you- you want me stop it?»

«I-» you shake your head «I don’t think so? I’m really not used to it, Jungkook. It may sound incredibly stupid but I never had someone who asked me if I wanted to switch drinks just because he wanted me to taste the best one and not to actually steal it from me.»

«Well, now you have me» his words are firm, so incredibly firm it makes you clench your jaw, and his eyes are the same.

«I- I charged your phone because I was worried you would need it today and couldn’t use it. I’m offering you a ride because I like spending time with you, I don’t want something in return other than you, your time.» his voice his calm and his shoulders seem to loose with every word he says as if he’s letting go of a heavy weight.

It’s all striking you in a second, and the hit is so hard you end up holding your breath. It’s not really the fact he likes you that makes you this stunned, it’s the fact he actually cares. Your parents never showed their affection to you without expecting you to give them something back, wether it was a high grade or a good impression on your neighbors, and when you stopped trying to always give back something their affections towards you had simply stopped, replaced by fake “honey” and other nice words just to cover the fact they didn’t really believe in you enough to show it. And with your friends and coworkers is pretty much the same, always waiting for something in return.

The sudden realization makes your eyes tingle and you vision blurry.

«I’m sorry»

Jungkoook shakes his head and gets closer, the thought that no one ever cared enough to show you how much you matter or acted just for the simple intent of doing something for you and not actually for them wrecks him apart. His mind flies back to when Seokjin told him about your parents and how they acted or spoke to you, he can clearly see the weight of every single word of them in your shiny eyes now, hurting you and making you question his good actions just because you’re used to the most selfish ones. It makes him want to bury you with attention, show you that people can do something for others too and not just to feed their egoistic side.

«Come here» it’s as low as a whisper, but you don’t hesitate a second to let his arms wrap around you, hiding your face on his shirt and soaking it with the tears that are now streaming down your face. His grip is tight and you can hear the stuttering of his heart against your ear, one of his hands gets to your hair and starts to softly, sweetly stroking at them to make you calm down just a little bit, head tilted over yours. His heart is aching seeing you like this.

«I’m sorry»

«Shh, stop saying that. We apologize too much» he holds you even tighter as you fist his shirt in your hands. Jungkook leaves a soft kiss in your hair and your heart skips a beat at the intimacy of the action. It’s only then that you realize you’re really letting someone see this side of you, the one you always try to hide because it’s to fragile to break, the one you hide even from yourself.

Slightly tilting your head upwards to lock eyes with him, Jungkook tries as best as he can to smile at you, even though his chest is has heavy as yours. His hands cup your cheeks, his thumbs caress your skin and wipe your tears away.

«Jungkook»

«Yes?»

«Please, kiss me»

His lips crush onto yours, Jungkook groans at the feeling and you instantly bring one of your hand in his locks as he tastes the salty taste left by the tears. As you lightly bite the petal of his lower lips Jungkook feels like he’s dreaming, and he prays not to wake up. His tongue slides in your mouth, wet and warm against yours, tracing and exploring each other and making you slightly tug at his locks, he moans in your mouth and brings one of his hands to your waist, bringing you closer to his body. The kiss is passionate, so damn needy, but not only in a sexual way. You need love, affection. Jungkook is more than welcome to help you with that, letting you waste all of your insecurities and frustrations on him until you feel completely dried, left with nothing but the realization of his taste on your lips, his hands against your skin, his embrace around you, him. And you need to push away to take it in, letting his forehead hover over yours and his heavy breath crush down on your face. His eyes are looking into yours and they make you feel things you now are able to categorize as humanly impossible, so dark and deep but so bright at the same time, lips still brushing against yours as you both take deep breaths. The frustration in your body is gone, your tears are dried, the only thing left is the need you feel to have him again on you, the desperate desire to taste him again. His mind prepares to the thought of a possible rejection, the idea you begged for him to kiss you just to drift your thoughts away storms his mind but he repeats to himself that whatever thing will come, this was definitely worth it. He’ll just have to face the fact that he just got only one bite of the cake. How can he even believe in it? Your lips are addicting, and he’s already craving for more.

«I could get used to this» you whisper. Jungkook never felt so relieved in all his life than now, letting out a shaky breath heavier than the others.

«Please, do it» he whines making you giggle and bring your lips on his again. This kiss is different from the other, more slow, more sweet, more intimate in a different way cause it’s just about you two. There aren’t emotions to run away from and to waste on the other, the only emotions are the ones you feel for each other. His lips move cautiously on yours as if he wants to taste every single part of you and imprint in his mind, your hand leaves his hair just to reach his neck and then his cheek, resting on his jaw. When you move away he rests his forehead again on yours and tilts down just to leave a few more sweet pecks on your lips, totally addicted to your taste. As you look at him you think this man we’ll send you out of your mind, if he didn’t already.

«Could you get used to me caring about you too?» he breathes. Your smile is bittersweet.

«It might take me a little bit» you answer. Jungkook strokes your cheek with his thumb, showing his bunny smile and making your chest a warmer and happier place.

«Then we’ll practice together, uh?»

«I’d like that»

[scuttling]

I said I love you, that's forever

Fandom: Criminal Minds Pairings: Aaron Hotchner/Female Reader Word Count: 5,619 Tags: 18+, NSFW, Dad Bod Hotch, Unprotected sex, Oral sex, Fingering, Reader gets drunk, Brief mention of canon-typical violence Summary: This one is sexy, sweet, and fluffy and features Aaron getting used to his new, healthier body. Inspired by @sleepyreaderreads and this ask. Collection: Just The Way You Are Series, Part 1 Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 (Coming Soon!) Part 4 Link to A03 or read below! Being home when Aaron gets home is the best part of having a flexible work arrangement, you have to admit. You’ve been together for five years, but only living together for four months—for one reason or another, mainly his job, it took you a while to reach the cohabitation phase, but neither of you had minded much. You were always spending time together when he was free, and you enjoyed having your own space, so the arrangement worked out for the both of you.

Now, though, as he walks into your home office looking so handsome in a white shirt, black slacks, and burgundy tie, a soft smile on his face, you know without a doubt that you made the right choice by moving in with him. You wouldn’t give this up for anything.

“Hi. How was your day?” he asks, leaning over you for a kiss. He intends to make it quick, but you put your hands on his body, lengthen the kiss, hum against his lips.

“Hmm. It was good. Better now, though.” You hit the keys necessary to lock your desktop and stand, stretch to wrap your arms around his neck. “How was yours?”

“Not bad.” He says it casually, but you can see the stress in the lines around his eyes, his mouth, and you raise a brow in question. “The unit’s being audited. A percentage of our consultations need to be reviewed, updated psychological evaluations completed—on top of everything else, it’s a lot,” he admits with a sigh, and you nod your understanding, brush your fingers through his hair.

“I’ll call Elena and cancel dinner.” You’d planned weeks ago to go out with one of your friends for Indian food, to meet her new boyfriend, but Aaron is clearly having a rough week and it’s only Wednesday. A quiet night in may be just what he needs. “We’ll stay home, I’ll order takeout. We can relax.”

“No, no. I know you’ve been looking forward to this; it’s really alright.” You tilt your head, something of a frown, and he takes your face in his hands, kisses you twice on the mouth. “It’s alright. I want to go out. I want to take you out,” he says, voice low, pulling you in for a slower kiss, and you melt against him, slide your arms around his back instead, pull him closer.

“I want to keep you in,” you murmur when the kiss breaks, and he raises the corner of his mouth in a sexy smile, presses his lips to your nose.

“And miss meeting the one?” You both laugh lightly, because Elena finds the one every couple of months, but she’s a hopeless romantic, always means it at first. It’s endearing, especially when you and Aaron feel a little like an old married couple. “Let’s go out, have a good time. If we stay home, I’ll be tempted to work.” He takes a step back, lets you head out the door and down the hall to your bedroom, so you can get changed; he follows behind, sits down on the bed while you go through your closet.

“I’m sure I could find ways to tempt you not to work,” you say, pushing dresses down the rack until you find one you like: it’s an emerald green mid-length dress, with cap sleeves and a slit up the front, not too formal and not too sexy, perfect for the restaurant where you will be eating.

You pull your t-shirt over your head, bend to slide your leggings off, and Aaron makes a soft noise in the back of his throat.

“Consider me tempted.” You turn around, roll your eyes playfully, and put on the dress, sit down next to him to slip your feet into a pair of nude sandals; you lean in for a kiss, palm pressed to his chest, and it quickly becomes something deep, passionate. Aaron brings a hand to rest against your throat, and you have half a mind to take the dress back off and cancel those plans after all, but you know he wouldn’t let you do that anyway.

You pull back, bite your lip, and give him a very pointed once-over, then stand to finish getting ready. You can feel his eyes on you the entire time. “I’m just saying, he should be on the side of a tub of protein powder or something,” Aaron says later as he unlocks the front door, letting you step in before him. “His arms are bigger than his head.”

“He’s a personal trainer, baby. It’s his job to work out and look buff—he’s like a walking billboard for his business.” You slip your shoes off, hook the straps around your finger, and stroll toward the bedroom. “Elena really seemed to like him.”

“I give them three months.” He’s just a few feet behind you when you turn to shoot him a slightly admonishing look, even if he is probably right. “She seemed more focused on his twelve pack than anything else.”

You toss your phone onto the bed, remove your dress with a soft laugh. “Their relationship is still new; it’s all about the physical. You remember when we were like that, don’t you?” You aren’t exactly surprised when he comes up behind you and glides his hand across your bare stomach, when he brushes your hair away from your neck and kisses you there.

“We were never like that. It was never just physical for me,” he breathes into your ear, and you close your eyes, sink back against him, tilt your neck for more kisses. “I loved you before I loved you. I always just knew.”

“Fuck, Aaron,” you sigh, and you lay your arm along the one on your stomach, reach back with the other to press him closer to you. You lick your lips, turn your head so your face is near his, and he leans in to kiss you and slides his hand into your panties, rubs his fingers over your pussy.

You’re already a little wet from his hands on you, his mouth, but as always, he turns you on effortlessly; your face heats, your heart races, your breath quickens. Your pussy becomes almost unbearably slick, your moans against his lips gentle and pleading, and he removes his hand and slides your underwear down, guides you onto the bed.

You watch, panting, as he removes his tie, then takes off his belt, his pants; you can’t go without touching him for long, and you move to sit up so you can reach for him, pull him closer. You work at the buttons of his shirt from the bottom while he starts at the top, and you take it off together, then slip your hands into his boxers and push them down.

You immediately want to take him into your mouth, thick and hard as he is, and you slide your hands up his stomach, beneath his undershirt, in anticipation of that; you don’t get very far before he lays you back on the bed again, on your side this time. His forcefulness makes you ache to have him inside you, and he crowds in behind you, slides an arm beneath you and wraps his hand around you, over your breast, holding you tightly. You tip your head back, whimper, because he’s going to be so good to you as always and the waiting is almost too much to bear.

“You know I’ve got you,” he whispers, squeezing you, and you nod in response; he lifts your leg and hooks it back over his thigh, then pushes inside you, sinks fully into your wet heat. You exhale, a sigh of pleasure, and he mouths at your jaw, nibbles at your ear while he thrusts slowly but completely. “Hmm. This may not be new, but you’re always perfect for me. Doesn’t that feel so good?”

“So good, so good.” It’s difficult for you to really move in this position, though you rock your hips almost involuntarily into his thrusts, but he takes care of you, nips at the back of your neck, pounds inside you, brings you so close so quickly you almost forget to breathe. Your hands are on him anywhere you can reach, desperate for contact. “Aaron, mmm, god.”

“I know, baby.”

He puts his free hand behind your knee, bends your leg, folds it up by your chest so he can pump his cock faster, harder, and you feel surrounded by him—his hands on your body, his hot grunts of effort in your ear, the faint smell of cologne that lingers after a long day familiar to your nose. You're a little overwhelmed by it all, but pleasantly so, and when he comes you come, clenching tightly around him as he spills deep.

“Perfect,” he whispers tensely, nuzzling against your throat, and he slides out, brings your leg down, runs his hands tenderly over your body like you’re something delicate. “I love you.” You turn your head toward him, say it back, and he presses his palm to your cheek, treats you to a deep, wet kiss, then brushes his thumb over your lips. “Every time I kiss you, it feels like the first time.”

“For me too,” you say with a tired smile, running your fingers through his hair, and he kisses you again before patting your hip and telling you to go get cleaned up, that he’ll take care of the bedding. When you come back, he’s in his boxers and t-shirt, legs tucked under a fresh comforter, and you slide in next to him and curl up beneath his arm. It’s a couple weeks later when you decide to bring Aaron lunch at the office; things seem much calmer lately, but the team’s cases have been back to back, and he’s been out of town a lot. You have to take the opportunity when you can, and that means showing up with a bag of Mexican food and a smile and hoping he’s not too busy to eat with you.

You get checked into the building and head for the BAU bullpen, stopping to chat with the team for a few minutes. You loosely plan for dinner or drinks in the future, make a promise to pop in and see Penelope before you leave, and then head up to Aaron’s office, knock lightly on the doorframe.

“Hungry, handsome?” Aaron looks up from his stack of paperwork with a smile, then slowly runs his eyes over you—you’re wearing a sweater, jeans, boots, nothing revealing in the slightest, but he makes you feel very warm and very naked nonetheless.

“Yes. For lunch, too,” he says, and you roll your eyes, a little bashful, and enter his office, setting down the bag of food you brought after he clears space on the desk. He stands, pulls you close for a hug and kiss, and then you unpack lunch, spread containers out over the desk. “Burritos? Are you trying to beef me up?” he asks, and you look up at him, lift your brow.

“Were you expecting salads? I’m feeding a super special FBI agent here, you need your strength.”

“We’ve only been living together for five months and it’s already getting hard to button my pants,” he grumbles, but he peels back the foil on the one labeled pollo asado without further complaint, takes the hot sauce when you hand it to him.

“So we’ll go up a size. It’s a good thing you’re not living off of coffee and vending machine protein bars anymore. You’ve been needing someone to feed you up for a while—and besides, I don’t mind if your pants are unbuttoned,” you say, licking sauce off of your thumb. “Nothing hotter than a well-fed Fed.” He rolls his eyes, and you sit down to eat.

When the hour is up, you pack up the leftovers, give him a longer, slower kiss goodbye, and pat his stomach, which makes him groan. “Any harder and the button might pop,” he jokes, and you laugh, shake your head.

“Don’t be dramatic. I love this tummy. Might even grab onto it later, you know?” You slowly wet your lips, then smile, and take a step back, take the paper bag and head out the door. “See you tonight, love you.”

“Devil woman,” he calls after you, and you grin the whole way to Penelope’s office.

“Light in the darkness,” she says when she opens the door to find you on the other side. “How did god know I needed to see an angel today?”

“Oh, I don’t know about all that, but I have some extra chips and guac from lunch if you need a pick me up.” She eagerly accepts your offering, and you take a seat next to her, dip a couple of chips half-heartedly, still full from your burrito. “So how have you been? Busy supporting the cutest group of crime fighters since Scooby Doo?” She laughs, nods her head.

“Yeah, that’s pretty much the extent of it. When it rains creepy crimes, it pours, apparently. I think we’re all in desperate need of a vacation at this point—and a puppy.” She hits a few keys, pulls up a screensaver that is just a compilation of fluffy puppy photos, and you both sigh.

“Aw, a puppy would be nice. I don’t even dream about vacations anymore; I’ve come to terms with the fact that Aaron will never be the vacationing type.”

“Not even the honeymoon type?” she asks, looking at you over her glasses, and you crunch on a chip, shake your head.

“I doubt it, and we’re not there yet, anyway. I’d consider myself lucky if he took more than two days off in a row.”

“He’s always been like that—working himself too hard,” she says sadly, as if to let you know it has nothing to do with you. You know that, but can’t deny it would be nice to have more than the weekend with him. “As long as I’ve known him, at least.”

“And I get it: what you guys do is important, and I wouldn’t want him to change himself for me. I guess we all just have our things.” You smile, and she does too, reaches out to pat you on the arm.

“Could be worse, honey. Could always be worse.” She hits a few keys on the keyboard again, and up pops a man’s mugshot. “This guy’s girlfriend had to find out he’s been killing women and chopping them up in an industrial food processor.”

You’re glad you already had lunch, because the imagery is enough to make you lose your appetite for several hours.

Your stomach eventually comes around, and you and Aaron have a quiet dinner—chicken, potatoes, and “a salad, since you’re watching your figure now” you tease—and then you ask if he’d be okay with calling it a night a little early. He agrees, and you take him to bed and undress, then slowly pull off all his clothes, running your hands over his body as you go.

“So big and strong,” you murmur as you brush your palms over his shoulders, press your lips to his bare chest. “Unbearably sexy.”

“Used to be stronger,” he sighs as you trail your mouth lower, sink to your knees, smooth your hands down his thighs.

“I used to be perkier; still want me, don’t you?” You look up at him, wink, and he reaches down to cup your cheek with a big hand; you nuzzle into it, happy, content, just like always.

“I’ll always want you.”

“Good. And I’ll always want you.” Just in case the words aren’t enough, you bring your hands to his stomach, massage it a little, run your tongue slowly over the length of his cock. “Mmm. Lay down for me?”

He does, and you climb on top of him, lean in to kiss him slowly, deeply, skimming neatly trimmed nails over his chest. You kiss along his throat, down to his stomach, and then wrap a hand around the base of his dick and put your mouth on him, the other hand pressed lightly against his stomach while you suck him off.

Your pace is easy, your hand moving in time with your tight lips and hollow cheeks, and you squeeze his tummy, moan your pleasure, and flick your eyes up to his face. His lips are soft around a sigh, but his brows are tensely knit, and he brings a hand to your chin, caresses you lightly when he floods your mouth, when you swallow for him and lick him clean.

“Fuck, baby,” he breathes, and you crawl up his body, kiss his cheeks and his lips and then whimper when he presses your back against the bed.

His fingers find you soft and wet and open, and he pushes two of them inside, leans over you to mouth wetly at your throat, your breasts. You weave your fingers into his hair, grip his shoulder, moan his name, and he makes you come quickly, expertly, in that practice makes perfect kind of way. He kisses your lips as you sigh, sink against the bed, then rubs his hand over your chest and hums.

“Perky,” he says in your ear, and then you both laugh, and you pull him down on top of you for a quick cuddle before going to the bathroom to get ready for bed. A couple of Fridays later, it’s your turn to host girls night, so you’re in the kitchen putting together a charcuterie board and mixing up cocktails when Aaron walks in, looking casual and cuddly in jeans and a quarter-zip fleece sweatshirt. You know he plans to set up camp in his office, but you kind of wish he wouldn’t just so you’d get to look at him some more.

“Gorgeous man,” you say, peering up at him as you wrap your arm around his waist. “Can I interest you in a paloma?” You lift up a pink cocktail and he laughs lightly, guides your hand back toward the counter.

“You can’t, but I will take a beer for the road.” You shrug your shoulders, let him go so he can walk over to the fridge; you take a sip of the drink you offered him, wince a little—it’s a bit strong for a girls night in, but it won’t kill anyone—and Aaron caches the expression, holds back a smile. “Are you going to end up drunk tonight? Should I prepare for the worst?”

“Ha ha. I don’t plan on it, but if I do, just throw me over your shoulder and put me to bed.”

“It’s cute that you think that works,” he says, bending to kiss you on the cheek, and then the doorbell rings. “I’ll get it, baby. Keep… rearranging your cheese.” He smiles, you smile back, a little exasperated, and he goes to answer the door.

A short time later, you and your friends are gathered in the living room, sprawled across the sectional sofa with drinks and snacks. You’re maybe a little tipsy, and when the topic turns to Elena’s now ex-boyfriend, the personal trainer, you’re just uninhibited enough to weigh in.

“I don’t know what you saw in him anyway. He spent so much time in front of the mirror, I would have been insecure that he was going to leave me for himself.” Your friend Jada laughs, and you preen, take another sip of your drink.

“She just misses his dick; the new guy isn’t working with much. What’s his name? Chester? Charlie?”

“Clifford,” Elena says, pulling out her phone, “and no, he’s not working with much, but he’s really cute. Look at him.” She shows you a photo from her camera roll, and Clifford looks just like the personal trainer, but with brown hair instead of blond.

“Not my type,” you dismiss with a wave of your hand, “but clearly he’s yours, so congrats, really. You can work around the small dick thing.”

“What is your type?” your other friend Michelle asks. “I’ve never been able to pin it down.” You open your mouth to answer but frown after a moment.

“I’ve never really had one, I guess. I know what I don’t find attractive, but what I do find attractive?” You think on it for a minute, and all you can imagine is what you already have. You can’t help smiling wide. “I mean, if I had to say, I guess just Aaron.” Your friends chime in with a chorus of aww, and you shush them. “I just think he’s perfect, you know? He’s smart and sweet and secretly funny; tall, and strong, but not in a ‘spends all day at the gym’ way—no offense. He’s a little softer, I can wrap myself up in his arms. It’s nice.”

“I’m with you,” Jada says. “A hard body might be nice to look at, but I need something to grab onto in the middle of the night.”

“Yes! Something to grab onto, and Aaron is perfect for that. He’s such a good cuddler, and he’s heavy, in a sexy way, like when he’s on top of me.” Okay, so you’re definitely a little drunk, never this loose-lipped about your sex life, but it’s all true regardless. “And he’s nice to look at—so nice to look at. The most handsome man I’ve ever seen.”

You could go on talking about Aaron for the rest of the night, but topics change and you have enough sense not to ramble any further; you don’t have the sense to stop drinking, though, so by the time your friends leave, you’re puttering around trying to clean up the kitchen, and not doing a very good job of it. Aaron finds you, makes a soft sound and puts his arms around you from behind, effectively stilling your motions.

“Let’s go to bed, baby,” he murmurs into your hair, and you sink back against his body, sigh happily.

“I want to go to bed—I want to go to bed with you. I always want to go to bed with you, because I love you.”

“I know, sweetheart, I love you, and we’re going to go to bed right now. We can clean up tomorrow.” You let him lead you down the hall, but you only make it halfway to the bedroom before you turn around in his arms, try to pull him down to your level. He’s so tall it can sometimes be annoying.

“I love you. I want you, always. You’re my type.” He laughs, bends to kiss you softly and tries to walk you backward toward the bedroom.

“Thank you. You’re my type, too, and I want you always.” You nod, because that’s good. You should be his type, since he loves you. That just makes sense.

“I want a puppy—a fluffy baby puppy with you. I’ll be the puppy mom and you’ll be the puppy dad.”

“A puppy,” he repeats, and you make it to the bedroom: you can tell because he sits you gently on the bed, helps get you out of your jeans. “We could get a puppy, if that’s something you want. I can walk it in the mornings before work, you can walk it on your lunch.”

You make a happy sound, because you hadn’t expected him to say that. You figure asking for one more thing can’t hurt, while you’re on a roll.

“I want a vacation, too, please. A beach vacation—I want to see you in swim trunks, your hair all wet, and I want to feel your skin warm from the sun.” He pulls your top over your head and walks away from you; when you make a sound of protest, he assures you he’ll be right back, and he returns with one of his t-shirts, helps you put it on.

“You want a beach vacation?” He turns down the bed, maneuvers you under the covers, then starts undressing himself. “What brought that on?”

“I don’t know. Just want to go away with you,” you say, and you can feel yourself drifting now that you’re cozy in bed, wearing Aaron’s clothes, soft pillows all around you. “A vacation, or a—a honeymoon.”

Aaron says something in response to that, but you can’t make it out, too busy falling asleep and imagining the scent of sunscreen and the feel of thick fingers rubbing it into your shoulders. You wake with a bit of a headache, and a dry mouth, and a warm body at your back, an arm loosely slung around your waist. You groan and press back against Aaron, and he leans forward to brush his lips over your ear and chuckle lightly against it.

“I think you went a little overboard,” he says, and he smooths your unruly bedhead back away from your face. “There’s water and ibuprofen on the nightstand. If you’re feeling up to it, I think a shower would do you some good. I’ll make breakfast.” He presses several soft kisses to your cheek and chin, and you close your eyes, hum your contentment.

“I love you, do you know that?”

“I do know that,” he breathes, and he runs his hand over your hip in a way that makes you wish you had more energy and less aching in your temples. “You said it a lot last night—I also couldn’t help overhearing you say I’m the most handsome man you’ve ever seen.”

“Well that’s true. Incredibly handsome,” you agree tiredly, and he presses his lips to your neck in the form of soft, smacking kisses.

“You also said you wanted a honeymoon,” he murmurs, and you open your eyes comically wide, slide up to a seat, look down at his face to try to read his expression.

“I did?” He nods, clearly trying not to smile at your surprise.

“Yes, you did. I’m not clear on the details, though—would that include a wedding, or were you planning on skipping over that part?” You lean over him, hide your face against his shoulder, and he laughs softly, rubs his hand up and down your back. “We’ve never talked about it, but it seems that’s something I should have at least brought up. We just took our time moving in together, and I didn’t want to rush that if you weren’t ready. Are you ready?” he asks quietly, and you pull back to look at him—his open expression, soft features, curious eyes.

“In theory, or in practice?” You have to ask, because this is Aaron, and he’s amazing, but he’s not a grand gestures type of man—if he’s asking you to marry him, you want to be very clearly on the same page to avoid miscommunication. He smiles, runs his hand down your arm.

“In theory.” You think of what it would mean, how it would feel, being married to the best man you’ve ever met, the kindest, most open-hearted (if occasionally grumpy) person, and the answer comes easily.

“Yes, I’m ready in theory.” His smile grows, and you match it, leaning down for a kiss. Then, he moves out from under you, reaches behind himself, into his nightstand, and rummages around for a moment before returning with a blue velvet box that he just holds, so casually, in his hand.

“How about in practice?” Your heart sinks to your stomach in the best way, and you can’t find the words even though you know exactly what you want to say. You bite your lip, and your eyes water a little; Aaron presses his palm to your cheek, and you meet in the middle for a slow, sweet kiss, exhaling softly when you pull apart.

You nod your head.

“Yes, I’m ready in practice.” You kiss again, a bit less sweet, weaving your fingers into his hair, and he pulls you down, makes you laugh, covers you with his body and kisses your face until you’re both out of breath.

“That’s good, because I want to make an honest woman out of you if we’re going to have a baby.” You freeze beneath him—did you talk about children last night, too, in your drunken haze?—and he chuckles, leans back so you can better see his face. “A fluffy baby puppy, remember? I’ll be the puppy dad and you’ll be the puppy mom.” You smack his chest, which he finds hilarious, and then you put your hands on his arms and sigh.

“Let me see that ring, please.” He props himself up on his elbows, opens the box for you: it’s sparkling, beautiful, exactly what you would have chosen for yourself, and you pluck it out, hold it up, and then hand it back so he can slide it onto your finger. “How long has this been in that drawer?”

“Since you moved in,” he says, and he takes your hand, kisses it, and admires your new accessory. “It was in my sock drawer before that, and I’m honestly not sure how long it was there. Two years, at least.” You frown just so you won’t cry, and he leans in to press his lips to the downturned curve of yours. “I told you, I always just knew.”

You deepen the kiss, run your hands over his sides beneath the soft t-shirt he slept in; his fingers move to the hem of the t-shirt you slept in as if to remove it, and you pause, pull back.

“No, wait, I’m gross. How are you even kissing me right now?” Aaron rolls his eyes, presses his mouth to yours repeatedly despite your half-hearted protests.

“Because I don’t care about morning breath, I’m marrying you.” He puts his hands in your hair, continues kissing, and you know resistance is futile; he wants you regardless, just as you are, and you would feel the same if roles were reversed—you do, every day.

“Mmh, okay but. At least let me. Shower first,” you mumble against his lips, and he rolls his eyes, leans back so he’s on his knees hovering over you, hands on his thighs.

“Would that make you feel better?” You nod happily, and he climbs off the bed, pulls you to your feet. “In that case, you go shower, and I’ll make breakfast as planned. And then, if your conditions are met, princess,” you wrinkle your nose, and then you both laugh, “I think I would like to make love to my fiancée, if that’s something that would interest you.”

“I’m very interested in that,” you agree, winding your arms around his neck, and you allow him one more kiss before you shuffle toward the shower, standing under the spray long enough to feel fully human again.

You drink the water, take the ibuprofen, and throw on his quarter-zip sweatshirt from the night before, and then meet him for eggs, toast, fruit, and kisses. He’s cleaned up the mess from last night, brewed a fresh pot of coffee, and you fall a little bit in love all over again.

After breakfast, you make it as far as the couch, flat on your back with the sweatshirt hiked up around your stomach and Aaron’s head between your thighs; you moan, tug on his hair as he drags his tongue repeatedly through the wetness that clings to your pussy, and when he makes you come you close your legs around his shoulders, squeezing tightly, back arching off of the couch.

“Mmm. Should have locked you down a lot sooner,” you pant, encouraging him to climb on top of you. He licks his lips and leans in for a warm, soft kiss.

“I’ve been locked down since our first date. You wore a blue dress and I couldn’t take my eyes off of you.” You pull his shirt over his head, and he pushes his boxers off, guides his cock inside you and plants his hands, noses along your cheek. “And now you’re mine.”

You can’t remember the last time you had sex in broad daylight—or the living room, for that matter—so each roll of his body, heavy and smooth against yours, is that much hotter as the sun shines in through the window, as birds chirp from the tree just outside. Your moans feel louder, more indecent, and you hold onto his ass, run a hand up his back, while he groans in your ear, whispers things like fuck and baby and mine.

“Aaron, please,” you sigh, digging your fingertips into his hips, and he kisses you, thrusts harder, knows what you need without having to hear it. He’s getting close too, huffs hot breath against your cheek, and you squeeze him tighter, press up against him. “Yes, hmm. I’ve got you, baby.” You move a hand to his hair, carding fingers through it, and he rests one gently over your throat, kisses you deep and wet, passionate, pounds against you until he comes.

He slides his hand down your body, rubs his fingertips over your clit, and this time your orgasm is softer, and you bite at his shoulder just to feel more connected, even though he is still inside you, heavy above you. You cling to him, catch your breath, and then you kiss a little before hurrying to get cleaned up and hoping you don’t make a mess of the couch.

When you reconvene in the living room, windows open, curtains blowing softly in the breeze, Aaron is on the couch with his laptop on his thighs. You plop down next to him, peer over his shoulder, and he raises his eyebrow and smiles.

“What do you think of Golden Retrievers?” You rest your head against him, look at the screen full of fuzzy yellow puppies, and sigh, content.

Taglist 🤍: @thaddeusly @arsonhotchner @mrsh0tchner @ssahotchie @sleepyreaderreads @mintphoenix @meghannnnnn @disgruntledchowchow @azenpal @g-l-pierce @my-rosegold-soul @ssamorganhotchner @heliotropehotch @angelhotchner @qtip-blog @gspenc @wishuhadstayed @averyhotchner @hotforhotchner11 @itsmytimetoodream @unicornprancing @uchihasteph @mugi-chwan95 @madamsnape921 @hxtchncr

[murswrites]

Brush With Death ⎯ Shelby!Sister Drabble

Pairings: Shelby!Sister x Shelby!Family Fandom: Peaky Blinders (AU) MASTERLIST Warnings: Cursing, angst (lol) SUMMARY: After Tommy made a deal with the police, you and the rest of the family are sent to jail. Luckily everyone is released (mostly) unharmed. When everyone gathers for the first time, something sets you off. Request from anon: Shelby sister angst where she almost gets hung like Polly so she’s a mess and lives with Finn - none of the other realises how bad it is until they all get together for the first time (no John doesn’t die ok) and she has a breakdown?

A/N I genuinely don’t know how long this has been in my inbox but I’ve never felt inspired to write it. I’m not particularly inspired right now but everything else seems too difficult. I hope you enjoy this anon, thank you for the wait <3 Note that John did kill his school teacher aka Mrs. Changretta (Luca’s mom) so the vendetta doesn’t happen lol

You weren’t okay, not since Tommy sent your family to jail. Why you were included in the bunch was unknown to you, you didn’t kill anybody. Apparently the charges held against you were suitable for death by hanging. The gallows haunted your dreams, sure everyone escaped a near brush with death... but you weren’t stable.

Arthur and John were gone, living in the country... Polly’s mind wasn’t the same. All you had was Finn, still living on Watery Lane in the home you grew up in. You missed Ada and Michael, not Tommy though. You were full of contempt because of what he did.

Sure, your pain overshadowed the anger but seeing him again struck a cord in you.

“It’s been a year since we’ve all been together, but Christmas is better time than any...” Tommy stood at the head of the table. For once, the Shelby family wasn’t brought together due to a tragedy. Christmas used to be a joyous occasion... and once again it seemed to be one. “Frances and the staff have made a proper Christmas dinner, something I used to dream of.”

Thomas lifted his glass in the air and everyone followed suit, “A toast to our success.” Something about his words made your control break. You’d been ignoring your nightmares for weeks now. You knew you’d be seeing the rest of the family soon, so you prepared yourself for it.

Ada was the easiest to deal with, John was loud as usual, Arthur seemed more down to earth... Pol spoke of spirits and witchery, Michael was worried for his mum (and rightfully so). Finn was Finn, always fine as a fiddle. He was your little brother, always a shithead but also your main support lately.

Tears assaulted your eyes before you could stop them, your glass dropped out of your hand and onto the table; its contents spilling. Finn was there to help you with a napkin. “Are you alright?” Your older sister asked.

The help was appreciated but everyone began to ask what was wrong, it was overwhelming as you covered your face with your hands. “Please stop talking,” They didn’t seem to hear, “Stop talking,” You said again, “Shut up!” Your chest heaved as you stood at your seat.

Silence fell over everyone, the children sitting at another table watched with wide eyes.

“How are you lot pretending it’s alright? After what Tommy did it’s just fine now because of free food?!” Tommy held a hand up, clearly wanting you to calm down, “I will not!” You pushed Finn’s hands off of your shoulders, “This isn’t right, I’m not sure about you but I’ve not slept peacefully since my brush with death.”

You wiped your nose, “It’s not fair that he gets away with what he’s done. And then Tommy, you talk of success. What success was there? Any one of us could have been hung in that year we were in prison. What success would there have been then, eh?”

“You were never in any danger, Y/N. Sit down.” His tone only angered you more.

“No, if I’m going to be treated like an adult when it suits you, I’m an adult now. So you sit down and shut up for once. You can sit in silence in the face of danger but not defiance, right? It’s okay for you to throw us out when it’s convenient but once someone opens their bloody mouth it’s a fucking problem? Nah, I’m not staying here. I said I’d try, Finn. And I did. I’m leaving. Enjoy your dinner.”

When Finn stood up to follow, you shook your head. “Stay here, Finn. You’ve got no reason to leave. I just can’t sit here in the same room as him as he acts like a bloody hero.”