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mariusslonelysoul · 5 months

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Hand flex this, rain proposal that WHAT ABOUT the half hug from behind lizzie gives her mother after lydia and wickham leave longbourn, i wanna talk about THAT

#i only really noticed it last night #and not to be tmi but that's the exact same thing i do with my mum in that kinda situation #i'm not gonna ramble about it in the taga bc i could go on and on #but that simple gesture and both their reactions are very underrated omg #common p&p 2005 w #pride and prejudice #pride and predjudice 2005 #lizzie bennet #mrs bennet #jane austen

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edwardwonghaupepelutivrusky4th · 9 months

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wah i looove their designs and animation...

#sketched last night looped ''hot air balloon'' track last night rewatched elemental last night you know just how it is....i love it all augh #elemental #elemental 2023 #pixar elemental #elemental fanart #ember lumen #wade ripple #it's so fun how just going w/the flow waviness drawing a wade is Correct. some flamey shiveriness / jaggedness in ember's lines is Correct #and it's all the more fun how it's like oh ofc not quite hitting the mark of how great their designs really are....so so good #and of course the expressive elasticity not only with their faces but the way their bodies ft. respective elements can be expressive #in addition to just usual [assume you have a usual literal human body] expressiveness options in posture / movement etc lol #also was thinking about how like we know everything we Need to know re: wade & his dad but also have so [zero details there]#which is interesting to wonder about. kinda assumed like oh a parent got sick & died but now considering how it could've been an accident..#the tiny layer of A Reaction he has when ember's talking abt parents giving up everything for you: could be nothing much; or Anything #also noting i Didn't note the first instances that they hear each other's names or introduce themselves thusly lol #or at least i sure can't recall it. just start knowing the other's name partway through which Isn't A Problem but it's like #ooh just more to consider & reexamine. i love to pick up More Details & that's helped by my difficulty in catching them in the first place #one thing about me i don't Catch things i don't Notice shit i don't Get stuff. and also of course: i do though lol #always a trip when it's like oh i love this movie i'm seeing it probably the two dozenth time #and then i notice something for the very first time that was clearly straightup meant to be Gotten upon the immediate viewing #even to the extent that smthing later seems to be kinda happening out of nowhere if you didn't. & i'd just rolled with it #like ok i'm autistic ofc that's something i gotta do all the time. & the adhd means i might keep getting distracted around the same pts.

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sea-buns · 1 month

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I've gotten myself into a bit of a predicament where the new d20 ep was yesterday, and tonight is cr, but listen summer just started on my Meadowlands file and I have so much work to do–

suffice to say I am teetering on the edge of falling behind on these very long shows I have committed myself to and that is sooo dangerous for my adhd brain

#i think i could watch cr WHILE playing #cuz i dont really take ss during those. and also its just a bit more chill and podcasty #but d20 i cant. if im watching it im WATCHING it #theyre too fucking wild lol #also i only have a laptop. no desktop second monitor. anything i watch is on my phone #MAYBE i could put it on my switch for a slightly bigger screen but thats it #but nah i was playing sdv last night and noticed it was 1am and knew i was fucked lol #the hyperfixation goes hard #critical role #dimension 20 #d20 #stardew valley #sdv 1.6 #sea rambles #i just got squash seeds yall im fuckin hooked

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mothmanwarble · 5 months

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So uh. Funny story! My account got terminated sometime late Saturday night so I contacted Tumblr Support about it as soon as I could. And now, after just about 2 days of waiting, my account’s been restored!

#whissu rambles #everything seems to be exactly how i left it and it’s kinda wild??#it’s like nothing ever happened and it’s funny to me idk #it didn’t really take all that long for me to get my stuff back #it’d be very easy to *not* notice that i’d been gone because the termination only lasted about 2 nights #but yeah! that was certainly a time! back to our irregularly scheduled shenanigans

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selfinflictedgunshotwound · 3 months

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imo everyone on earth should be talking about Him (don't want this showing up in the tag even though it's not a diss) but everytime i go to the tag and there's only like 3 new posts i'm like. oh yeah almost no one cares except me and like 5 other ppl on here

i ran out of tags KFHSJENNXN i don't think that's literally ever happened to me before anyways don't read them because it's just me being insane as per usual

#most of his indirects on twitter are from people in diff asian countries as well and ik he's doing an asia tour soon(?)#bruh he's never coming back to the usa is he 😭😭😭 i need him in chicago i miss him so bad #i feel very ugly emotionally rn still bc i was reading all of the rando ass dating rumors of him last night LMAO and it pissed me off #i know i have no right to get mad and i'm being irrational but at the same time like. everyone is just like 'omg he's so in love rn'#bc his music has been very angsty and like. idk... conflicted? but his new song was very happy and sweet and very In Love Sounding #and i already know all his music is about one person bc he always talks about the same shit (he's very predictable i see right thru him)#and he's putting out a new song called 'shining' and he has been talking abt a person being his light/shining on him for the last 7yrs atp #so like. that's how i know it's about one specific person and i don't think he has moved on LMAOOO so unless he was dating the same random #7yrs ago i don't think he's dating any of the people they bring up tbh... i pay attention to these things not to brag or anything but like #being attentive to the people i love and noticing inconsistincies in their behavior and when they act diff is like. the only skill i have #at least irt other people LMAO like honestly i wrote all the lyrics he ever wrote down in a google doc and it shows a clear trajectory #that starts like... innocently and just gets more fucked up and toxic as it goes. and ppl say he's one of the most sane ppl they know #meanwhile he's been writing songs about 1 person for nearly 10 years and they get progressively more desperate and insane #I'M JUST SAYING. i completely forgot what my original point was but i guess it was most likely that. no one pays attention to him like i do #the songs started being about this person at the same time i started liking him and having dreams about meeting him btw #and they got progessively more uh. spiteful and desperate and weird as the years went on. did i mention i cast a spell on him 😐#and he literally says shit like 'it's impossible for me to move on' 'i don't care about anyone else' 'it's like i'm possessed' etc #and after we met at his concert he got really into saying shit like 'that one night wasn't enough' and 'the spotlight between us'#&the ever-famous 'i like the way you look at me' 'my eyes are on you' 'focus on me just look at me' when all i did was look at him all night #if you're reading this right now and thinking 'celeste do you seriously believe a kpop guy has been writing songs about you for 7 years?'#you should remember who i am and how i reacted to ***** having a gf (that i guessed exactly right months before he revealed it)#i'm schizophrenic 🤷‍♀️ but the guy i'm into was the one who started my fascination with soulmates and destiny and fate and shit like that #you know it's funny i mention that because he also started writing about that!!!!! in his songs!!! crazy #and he talks about the person making it hard for him to sleep and wanting to meet them in his dreams again and whathaveyou #i mean even in his two newest title tracks he says 'i'm frustrated in the studio the only melody that comes out is for you' and #'i want to turn everything about you into a song' in the newest one... hm.#and btw he announced his album right when i admitted i was in love with him again to my family (they know my insanity LMAO)#and he releases a song about being happy and in love and listening for someone's voice from far away to reach him/vice versa?????#right when i get back into him???#it's my fave color & his fave color & he's releasing it in my birth month like. i know billions of coincidences are a thing but it's crazy

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zahnffxiv · 7 months

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hrothtober day 9: job!! i'm an adventuring astrologian, of course!! but if i were to pick something a little less adventurous... oh, i'd love to help out at the last dregs!!

#ffxiv #hrothgar #gpose #hrothtober #hrothtober 2023 #the denizens of ultima thule are so cute...#zahn copied the outfit they wear in the last stand but with a pastel green apron #'cause that's the color the elpis flower glowed that night they all had dinner!!#only now am i noticing that the last dregs uses yellow elpis flowers though...#it at least goes with his eyes #maybe i should've done an astrologian shot instead because i don't really have that many #despite when setting up for this i had assumed otherwise #perhaps later...

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sstarlostt · 5 months

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OBSESSED HONESTLY

#i forgot to post this yesterday but IN LOVE TBH #can you tell much like spotify i really only used it around the beginning of the year #and then only a couple of albums and songs here and there after that #but honestly i used youtube music specifically last night and it kinda slayed #like its good for what it is if that makes sense #im so upset that a wrapped wasnt sent out to my school account #(im guessing due to it being a school account and like administration restricting stuff and whatever)#but like literally the only thing i do on it is listen to music #BUT WHATEVER #they recognize that im a tribute to drama love amped up tempos and JUN and that what matters #but yeah if youtube music stays how it is now (or ya know just doesnt change what i like about it) i think ill try and use it more next yea #:3 #sstartalkss #addition: something that im noticing is that performances arent counted as that artist but as the channel it was posted on which is honestl #heartbreaking because performances are probably how i tend to listen to music the most (if im not putting it on only as background noise)#but its not that big of a deal #i mean biggest plus about youtube music is that it actually has video game osts and songs that dont get put on other streaming services #so slay ya know

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mattodore · 1 year

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fell asleep at my desk (!) while in blender working on the poses i need for the edits i want to do for matthias and imani... think i might be a little too absorbed in this edit idea lads

#river dipping #stayed up all night and fell asleep in the world's most uncomfortable position for WHAT? imaginary guys in my head. pixels on my screen.#the last thing i did before falling asleep was draft a post abt how it was six am and i'd only just finished the second set of poses lmaooo #well.......... because i feel bad i didn't manage to finish doing everything i wanted all in one day i'll make up for this #by instead posting the bloody matthias pics bc i did finish that a while ago but was so focused on cas and blender i didn't post them #...also i just noticed i have messages and stuff too i'm sawrryyyy i can't even blame the avpd this time #like the delayed response is just bc i'm being flayed alive by Creative Visions while my ocs point and laugh it's embarazzing #a two sim pose ended up turning into four sims + an alt version somehow........#it sounds crazy how long this has taken me but i had to make two children then two 15-16 year olds then two 18-19 year olds in cas #and i had to fix some cc so i could use it on the kids and the teens #and then i spent at least an hour or two downloading cc for their boarding school #and i needed to find a car imani could use for the last pose that has a decent sized window in the back #like i've been all over the place !!!!!! it's like i'm possessed i have such a clear vision of these three images in my head #like i just have to see it through. the lack of sleep is definitely getting to me tho................ i should probably lay down fr soon #my brain is a prison etc. etc. etc.#i'll play catch up before i go to sleep tho bc i really have been offline all day toiling over ideas

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thefiresofpompeii · 1 year

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i don’t want to kill myself but looking at the future sometimes i feel like i have no other option. i fucked it up too far without anticipating consequences and it’s too late to make a change or strive towards any kind of hopeful meaningful existence. there is no way out for someone like me who has nothing going for them, squandered any opportunity, any talent, everything that was handed to them on a silver platter. no interesting personality traits, no aptitudes, nothing to make up for the gaping void where motivation and will to live and thrive and put in effort towards a goal should be. even the most basic steps are a pipe dream. i don’t want to die because i fear the possibility of hell but i no longer see any tolerable way of living.

#i reread parts of mark fisher’s capitalist realism last night and i know it’s unhealthy for theory to cement your own depressive spiral but #i’m thinking of him. even an accomplished thinker and it’s all the fucking same #i’m goinh to listen to swans and cry. i skipped class again and for fucking what #notice how it’s all i i i i i. i have no community no support network no close friends no partner nothing #only my parents who are affluent enough to support me financially but that support is conditional because if #they knew about what i was really like and even parts of my identity that support would be cut off and because i #have no marketable skills i would be left penniless to beg on the street #how long can i keep pretending to be cis and depending on them for vital necessities? until i’m 22? 25?#dropping out isn’t even an option because a bachelors’ degree is prerequisite to getting ANY job that pays above minimum wage but i #feel no passion for the subject i’m studying despite it being literally one of the only things i used to be GREAT at (media analysis; so —#lit major; on foundations for liberal arts; which should be all about PASSION FOR THE SUBJECT)#i’m teetering on the precipice of a steep cliff that drops down into the abyss of abject poverty with no way out #i don’t know what i enjoy doing; what to dedicate my resources and energy to; if i have none left. i don’t even smoke or drink or do drugs #it’s just sober suffering in silence. of course the meds don’t fucking help; meds can’t alter the world around us or our circumstances #this fucking close to going out and buying a rope. i have free will :)) hell can’t be real; it can’t be. worst that could #happen is reincarnation and honestly i could go for a second chance #jamie.txt #tw suicidal ideation

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weidli · 10 months

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oh so 1x22 really is exactly calculated to make me specifically go fucking feral huh

#im sorry i. jxkdkahyeiwiwkskshdhdjsj #i keep phrasing the start of a coherent post in my head and then getting sidetracked by absolutely fjcking losinf it over something else #jesus. jesus h christ on a motorized bicycle on main street. i was SPOILED for this i KNEW what had to happen and im still gojng BONKERS #what the FUCK #i need to watch like the last 20 minutes of this again right now what the fuuuucl #no actually what i need to do is go outsidr and run some fuckin laps or something but it is the middle of the night. woooargh #ugh. dean. crying wailing #the fact that. sam doesnt notice. he doesnt see anything wrong with john reassuring dean and telling him hes important. because he believes #what demon-john is saying is true.#but DEAN. knows damn well what his father thinks of him.#and then the demon confirms it. they don't need you like you need them. (dean in the motel breathes through sam shoving him up against the #wall says some days i feel like i can barely keep it together - you me dad it's all i've got - )#DEAN ONCE AGAIN THROWING HIMSELF BETWEEN JOHN AND SAM. POSSESSED JOHN OR NORMAL JOHN DEAN KNOWS HOW THIS GOES .#okay if i were to change one (1) thing about this episode i would have the demon pin dean to the ceiling when he nearly kills him. REALLY #lean into the dean mary parallels of it all #GOD. so we agree that sam held off from shooting the second time not because dean going sam no appealed to sam's conscience or anything like #that #sam knew damn well he and john agreed on one thing and that's they'd both die to kill this thing #but sam couldn't do that to dean. because dean's only got the two of them and losing either of them would destroy him #(no. says sam. glances into the rearview mirror at dean blood on his mouth gaze unfocused. not everything.)#natural soup

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peapod20001 · 1 year

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Haha don’t pay me any mind oho

#vent #ok. so #I was! fine for the most part today! but then! idk what happened!#I’m like sad now! depressed? like. I kinda don’t feel real #I think I was giving myself anxiety over thoughts. got really clammy. literally shoveled goldfish crackers into my face #now don’t judge me but #I’ve been looking at things that make me feel bad for like. at least 4 hours now haha..#I dunno man it’s the adhd I got one thought about thing that made me upset and now I’m hours in and my emotions are fried #and. shh don’t tell anyone I feel things but I know have a fantasy of someone I can cry around #whehe how pathetic is that. scraping the bottom of the barrel here looking for another human just let me cry @ you #hmm. how did I go from thinking up poems for valentines only to. feel so cold and alone #I’m not crying. but. I definitely need to later haha maybe this all kickstarted from my two whole hours of sleep last night 😎#mhm so uh. if your reading this with the most cold unfeeling monotone voice then you are exceptionally accurate!i am currently not all here #can’t sleep now tho gotta. do other shit I guess #I’m laying in bed for a second though. my legs were very cold to the touch. unfeeling unhuman #oh and I might be balding potentially but that’s still just a theory. my dad noticed and pointed it out #haha what would I be withought my hair? another germ just populating this Earth?#oho ahh. hm. I’m just a trying to say I don’t fell right now if that makes sense. anyways

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casiavium · 1 year

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as much as it's fun to write and I'm fairly good at it I kind of hate the way when I add any comedy into fic that's the only thing readers focus on :/

#vent #still upset about a time like two years ago when i wrote a chapter that literally made me cry and the only comment i got was haha sex joke #or like. the end of the fic I almost deleted about ten times and still don't know if I really want it up or not and finishing it was such #a big accomplishment for me. 'did you change the name of the fic'#yeah I added one word anyway thanks for not really noticing ig #why isn't my zoloft working 😭 first my panic attack last night and the 'delete all internet presence' intrusive thoughts tonight???#bitch all you're doing is making me gain weight and have fucked up dreams. i want lexapro back

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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years

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...

#im in a hotel room!!! all by myself!!! thank fuck!!!#lmao i swear so much on here. irl im a literally cannot say fuck person. bc my brain wont let me say certain words lol #but THANK GOD!!!! our last site was pretty killer ngl it went on forever #now ive got all these samples to deal with when we get back ugh #and we went got back to the city we went out to eat at a place where u had to pick stuff #and that was not the vibe i was looking oh god #i sat with the glare of the sun in my eyes so at least i had an excuse to cover my eyes #we met with some collaborator and hopefully i didnt come off as rude it was a bit hard to control my face #i was trying not like start crying or leave my body #my boss very noticeably did not ask how i liked the meal so i prob looked like i was not having a good time #like a week before we left she was like: i never see u ☹️#and this is why. bc i can only maintain functionality for so long around other ppl #this is why i go into the lab late at night or early in the morning #im on the road to becoming a hermit #i am mentally not well. i mean its not thst bad really but it does inhibit my life so like i would not recommend lol #but im on the way home! or not home but back to my apartment at least #fucking finally. my lips look so fucking bad. they are so visiblly chapped lmao #unrelated

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deus-ex-mona · 2 years

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here’s to hoping for a ✨better✨ next week… _(:3 」∠)_

#really long rant about my ✨work woes✨ incoming— pls lemme have this moment before i cry at the interns on monday—#short summary of my utterly horrendous week go—#on monday: the machines kept taking turns to die (and that stupid self-restarting computer aaaaaaaaaaa—)#tuesday: the machines were horrible (again). and the final chapter of act 1 of the mona manga came out that night (which was much sad :( )#wednesday: was relocated to that acid-using station and got an acid burn on a really inconvenient part of my hand >:(#like yo. acid. why couldn’t you have landed on the back of my hand instead??#why did you *have* to splash onto the left side of the base of my left index finger?? i can’t even wrap a plaster around it and it sucks >:(#thursday: the machines were horrendous too! they refused to pass the daily quality checks!!! and there were tons of samples to load too!#as a bonus this lady kept hijacking the computer to check results or something while i was trying to enter stuff into the job queue thing #(the job queues for the stupid machines that is)#and so i could do absolutely ✨nothing✨ while she did her stuff… and then she complained that my workstation was really slow that day >:/#lady p l s. blame the machines!! and it’s only my literal second day at that station so— :( and you kept stealing control of the computer :(#and then there’s today. friday. (ʘ‿ʘ) the person who loaded the samples last night put said samples into the wrong slots of the machine…#…and so the dumb acid autofiller spewed out acid anyway. which spilled onto the machine and then evaporated (for the most part) overnight #and so! when i popped in to the workstation a good 10 min late (having overslept a little due to believing it was already saturday)…#i noticed the wrongly placed samples，smelled the really strong scent of acid，went ‘ah maybe the toluene reacted with the solvents’…#…and just carried on as per normal. it only clicked that those were acid fumes from the missed samples when my eyes started to water ಥ‿ಥ #and even then i ran off to find a coworker to ask ‘will the thing still autofill if there aren’t any beakers in the indicated slots’…#but ofc i couldn’t articulate properly bc i was ✨lightheaded✨ from the acid fumes. i felt really loopy for almost an hour after that tbh :(#and so i still have no idea how i’m still employed at this place tbh. all i do is blabber nonsensically and forget my coworkers’ names :/#but i think my terrible jokes have become a little more commonplace in the workplace. whoops.#i’d say ‘merry christmas’/‘happy new year’/‘happy birthday’ when i give printouts to others，and now they say it back to me lol #i stg my sense of humour is utterly horrible. no wonder why this higher up lady (probably) secretly dislikes me lol #like she’d say ‘i’ll train you in [test method]’ only to give like a half an hour overview before leaving me to fend for myself </3 #on the other hand，she’d train and guide literally every other person for hours on end till they’re familiar with the test method :(#or maybe she thinks i’m too capable (lol). prolly not though. i usually stare confusedly at her like 👁👄👁 through her explanations #well. i think i’m done with my venting for now. see you tomorrow.#inedible blubbering

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eri-blogs-life · 1 year

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Been a bit since i posted a selfie. Have girls & curls

Til there's a limit to how many tags you can have on a single post. I guess that makes sense but how am i to ramble in the tags now with only 30 tags???

#well only one girl but yknow #I'm about to head to bed for tonight #ended up spending my night basically just chilling on tumblr clearing out my likes lol #made a chili tonight that turned out decent enough #my mini painting projects continue to go well #i noticed a stain in my sink looks like a sandile so that amused me #uhhh what else has been happening with me #excited to do board games with friends this weekend #finally got a therapy appointment on the books after months of searching and waiting #been continuing to think a lot about stuff like relationships and sex and stuff lately #went to visit my ex and hang out last weekend but it kinda went from just being a hangout and chat thing to a sex thing #and that was super uncomfortable #like i didn't necessarily not like it for a bit but i wasn't really that into it and the whole time it felt like i was just putting on a...#... performance for their enjoyment rather than really enjoying the acts we performed any myself #i appreciate they stopped when i did finally openly express my discomfort of course but i think i was uncomfortable long before then #been watching a lot of horror focused YouTube vids lately #(i am absolutely not good with horror)#its kinda nice to see horror content where it's through a filter where someone else is summarizing and analyzing it #though that still unnerves me frequently cause i am just that bad with horror #but it's giving good inspiration for some possible stuff for a monster of the week campaign im gonna try running soon #I've been so depressed lately (and burnt out my friend claims) that i had to stop DMing (one of my oldest pasttimes) for like three months #but I'm hoping I'm on an upswing #and while part of me thinks that maybe I'm just done DMing - like i got out the stories i wanted to tell and there's no more fuel left -#i feel like i owe it to myself and to my regular group to at least TRY again #even if i fail horribly #so we're gonna finally try running motw for the first time #i dunno i think that's all the big news stories from ya girl that are fit to print #eri blogs life #i hope y'all are doing well too btw #the world is a big and scary place at times but there's so much beauty in it and i really hope y'all are finding that beauty

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uniquezombiedestiny · 2 years

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what. the FUCK is going on with my brain today 👁_👁

#im like 80-90% sure i had a manic. thing ig #and now i think im in a more depressive one #its noticeable but not like. impairing #really none of my disorders are tbh theyve always been chill somehow #i have no idea what i have yet or if i have anything but theres no fucking waaaaay this is the sleep deprivation from 1-2 days ago #<- actually 2 days ago (stayed up all night day 1 #[i forgot i cant use commas oops] and slept at night on day 2)#whats weird to me though is that the manic thing only lasted like a few hours #and i assume this part will too #idk of thats normal or of its supposed to be longer #if*#oh and a 2nd weird thing - did a tiny bit of research so far #it said some symptoms of bipolar 1 and that its usually longer and i just. suddenly felt like crying/really sad over it???????#calmed down and just left google tho lol and went here #since ive told noone about it yet #so.... yeah. oh and a semi related thing i think i may have ocd too #<- i will never get 2 brownies instead of 1 knowing i cant eat it all again #<- felt like they had to eat the 2nd one even tho it felt terrible to since i was full #so yeah our brain is. weird #oh also. 5s. like everywhere #i sorta. did actions/took steps in 5s at one point #and when i specifically put times in the microwave i end them with 5 #<- since i do that. pretty often #....and i have to have 25 tags on this now #which is easy bc i have enough to say to make it work B) -yesod

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