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#even if i fail horribly
grumpyghostdoodles · 4 months
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The Almighty Sheriff!
Save a horse, ride a cowboy~
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not to make angst out of a fucking gag but also thinking about the silly au rei in the final episode makes me think about how different rei would be if she didn’t have literally the worst dad ever. like, no, she probably wouldn’t have been the upbeat adhd whirlwind in the high school au lmao. but it does just make me think. because while all the pilots lives are incredibly marked by trauma, rei's the only one to have never had access to any sort of normal life. her entire personality and worldview is shaped from being isolated, groomed, and taught to see herself as a tool and not a person. and then i just get so sad that she never had any chance of a normal life where she could discover herself and what she is. she went from being abused and manipulated by gendō (which is made even worse with the implications certain scenes leave about their relationship) to becoming god. she never had any chance of living a normal life. and just like. fuck.
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zeravmeta · 4 months
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we give garp a lot of (rightly deserved) shit but unironically like 90% of the criticisms towards him i see not only ignore the wider worldbuilding context of one piece but also don't acknowledge how sengoku is like the worst friend ever
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worstloki · 10 months
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something very horrifying about the concept of Thor but not Loki being told that Loki is Jotun when the brothers are old enough to understand the importance of the secret
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boy in silly sitting positions compilation
#cats#I especially like the last one where he just has one single paw poking out of that box for some reason lol#I still have costumes to post and like a billion other things.... grr... constantly failing at staying active on social media aughh#I think because currently my Main Focus is on trying to get my game done and stuff.. which basically just means sitting and writing all day#so there's not much to post about. Though I know the Good At Social Media thing to do would be to post about the#writing and share progress and talk about the game and characters or whatever to try to build interest or something but that is SOOO weird#to me.. I could maybe get it if it was like a tiny tiny discord groupchat of playtesters with like 5 people in#it.. But something about talking openly about things before they happen is weird to me?? Like presumptuous feeling or something#''oooo guess whats gonna happen LATER!!!'' like.. how do you know.. what if it doesnt. what if you dont finish it. what if its not the way#you think it's going to be. what if something changes. etc. Like I literally avoid movie trailers and game trailers for the same reason ghj#Even if it's not ME doing it it just feels... weird.. Maybe it has to do with my OCD and how I just don't like talking about ''future''#things in Certain Terms. Like if I was going to say ''Oh yeah sure. come over to my house in a few months''. I would have to follow it up#with like ''HOPEFULLY you can come over to my house in a few months'' or 'They'll come over in a few months MOST LIKELY''. Because just#stating that something will happen matter of factly takes for granted like.. what if somehting horrible happens and I DONT have a house#in a few months? or what if something bad happens to me. or to the person coming over? I can't ever DEFINITELY say with 100% certainty#that one could ACTUALLY come to my house in a few months. anything could change. So I have to allot for that in my phrasing. hbjjkn#There are a lot of situations where you're expected to just Assume Things but for some reason that bothers me. My brain literally does not#even Assume the most basic things.. like how do *I* know that just because it's someones birthday that they want to be wished a happy#birthday? what if they dont? everyone is different and has different preferences. I should check with them first. or wait until they public#ly announce that theyre accepting birthday wishes. I have to allot for all 5034859069 rare possibilities at any given time and never take#anything for certain. etc. ghjbjhbh.... ANYWAY.. I have been feeling a bit sick lately as usual.. but still slowly making progress on some#things. Moslty I need to edit costume photos. make sculptures. and work on the game. Going back reading some of the old writing from like#2018 and suprisingly I don't have to change that much of it? In fact I like it mostly. so that's good. I would be very interested if I were#playing the game myself. Though that doesnt mean much since my tastes are so niche lol..#Still really want to clear some of my million tumblr drafts as well... alas and aughh and ooughh and so on and so forth. Between all of my#evil appointments other such things...why cant I have one billion dollar to retire into relaxed hermit artist life of no stressors.. bleas
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Ngl I really just don't care for any criticisms of John that refuse to acknowledge that John is not in our world, and he shouldn't be judged like a parent from our world would be. John lives in a universe where basically everyone's worst nightmares are just OUT THERE, and some of them are specifically after HIS KID.
Like yeah he gave a 5th grader a hand gun but like. That 5th grader is being sought after by literal demons AND his mom was successfully killed by the exact same group/type of entity while under John's roof. Why the fuck would he do anything OTHER than arm the kid, given his level of knowledge about demons at the time??
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started watching A Murder At The End of the World and i'm only like 4 minutes in rn but oh my fucking god, they already did the impossible, they made synthesizing a literal audience not only not annoying but actually intriguing and effective. holy shit.
#james talks#james watches stuff#a murder at the end of the world#if you're new here or have never consumed any media: synthesizing a literal audience is one of the most annoying things anything can do#it is at best distracting and at worst condescending and grating bc it assumes and assigns audience reactions and interpretations#and it also REEKS of a lack of faith in the material itself to be able to speak for itself#most of the time it's done for no real purpose and the few times it has a narrative purpose it's done awfully#even a movie i ADORE like SCREAM (1996) was not immune to this.#the one single flaw in that movie to me is Kenny repeating the 'behind you' joke. not only is it not funny the second time but it's—#synthesizing the audience by making the characters an audience to the same movie as us and telling us how we should be reacting.#another movie that tries to do this and fails miserably is like Halloween: Resurrection which tries to make some commentary—#on media as exploitative entertainment and the audience as willing participants and equally culpable in the continuation of trauma but the—#execution of it is absolutely horrible and that's even beyond how bad the rest of the movie is.#every time the characters are watching the same media or there's an actual audience in the media it's literally never gone well—#at least as far as i have experienced. but this is the first time a literal audience in anything has actually worked bc it's like—#right in the opening and it's the audience actually getting invested in the story so THAT audience responding the same way actually WORKS#actually borderline genius tbh
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can we stop trying to bully people into advocacy, please?
can we stop making people feel personally responsible for issues they only just heard of and may not even understand?
can we stop yelling and berating people who aren’t putting all of their (probably limited) energy into researching something that has almost nothing to do with them and which may stress them out?
can we stop pressuring people who are already struggling to survive to limit their options on how they can live, what they can eat?
please?
please
can we stop
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ego-meliorem-esse · 10 months
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Ok but what if another turning point for the world power dynamic was the Suez Crisis of 1956. France and England were adamant that they control the canal while the US and USSR were (surprisingly) collaborative in their demand for a cease-fire in the region. I can just imagine Alfred storming into a meeting room with a storm in his eyes yelling at these two raggedy fucks to quit their dumb-ass behaviour. Giving them an eloquent lecture in front of the world. The room full of nations, still recovering from all the events of recent years, going quiet while both Arthur and Francois (for probably not the first time) start reevaluating their roles in the evolving global landscape.
Arthur would likely have felt a mix of anger, embarrassment, and surprise. He had grown accustomed to being an influential world power, and being confronted so forcefully by Alfred, especially as his son, would have challenged his sense of authority and superiority. Despite his pride, Arthur would also have acknowledged a sense of resignation, knowing deep down that the world was changing and that his empire's dominance was waning.
Arthur has a complex relationship with his children, and Alfred holds a special place in his heart as his favorite child (I'm sorry but it's true). He might recognize Alfred's achievements as a reflection of his own influence and guidance, feeling a slight mixture of satisfaction and pride in seeing his protege step into a position of power. Seeing the United States, a former colony, rise to prominence and challenge the established powers could evoke a sense of pride in Arthur as he recognizes the legacy of British influence and ideals that have shaped the nation.
Arthur does recognize the accomplishments of his "wayward son" to a degree. (what a loser)
Francois would definitely feel anger. Even stronger than Arthur, I think. The failure and backlash of the crisis would have strongly wounded his pride. He would display a certain stubbornness and reluctance to accept the changing dynamics of power, more so than Arthur. His pride and desire to assert France's influence might have led him to defend his nation's actions during the Suez Crisis, even in the face of mounting criticism and geopolitical realities. (huge loser)
The Suez Crisis, a focal point of tension, becoming a catalyst for transformation, shaping the dynamics of power and diplomacy for generations to come. In that meeting room, the world witnessed the birth of a new era, where old empires bowed to the demands of a changing world.
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cinema-wasps · 10 months
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I request dearest Randal pleale
I'll reblog it so many times
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sorry for being the weakest [strongest] link. a transfem randy truther
[PLEASE only use she/her to refer to randy on this post. thank you]
[and send me more drawing reqs go go go]
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perelka-l · 6 months
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When you both are in a shitty situation and can't even get up and are waiting for someone to arrive (whoever it is, really) and one of you has cigs and other access to fire so you just. Kinda chill for a moment. Like, it's just once, it should be fine, you can forget about it later.
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akutagawa-daily · 1 year
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Akutagawa daily 181/★
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scalproie · 2 months
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death to The Customer and all that like hell yeah rock on brother but I feel we are sleeping on another predator of the working space : The Coworker
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reaperkiller · 3 months
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christ, forgive these bones i've been hiding, and the bones i'm about to leave
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the worst part of break is the last day when you're just drowning in stress thinking about going back. i feel literally physically nauseous
#the stupidest part is that i'm so fucking stressed mostly about my fucking FILM class#more than any of my honors courses#i haven't done enough work in it at all and i'm so embarrassed about it so i don't want to start working on it and show how little i have#done so i get even more behind#i have a film i have to make and it's only half done and now i can't fucking find it in my files cuz i'd planned on working on it this brea#but i got sick and wasted 4 days of my already stupidly short break#i have TWO whole presentations on an actor and a director and i don't CARE or know about any actors or directors#i just feel sick#i wish i could drop it or just fucking fail it but i can't#it's so so stupid#i'm never gonna be able to take another class with that teacher from the fucking shame i feel actually horrible every time i go in her clas#and the worst part is that it's literally my fault i could have just done the fucking work and i didn't#kiwifae says shit#ugh okay this made me feel better i need to just figure out my actor director presentations (which are my fucking final btw 😭)#i accept the shit grade i'm getting on the film i can fix it if i make decent presentations i'm just mad i'm doing bad and getting so#stressed over a dumbass extra class like film production like what#i still don't think i can take another class with her she's really pleasant but i just feel so so sick whenever i go in there cuz i feel so#guilty#which is a shame cuz she teaches photography which i would really like to take#maybe senior year idk i might not care anymore then#also i'm aware this isn't a normal amount of shame and anxiety just for procrastinating i just feel super bad abt this for some reason#sorry for ranting but i'm just blehhhhhhh rn#ok i'm gonna get something to eat and take a shower maybe i'll feel less like i'm dying#👍
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lunarharp · 3 months
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wip thing...
of my bg3 avatar hellebore. i also did some casual nude studies of my 3 characters which i'll put under a cut... rather unlike me after all. (so WARNING for abrupt non-sexual full Artistic nudity lol...,,,,) (< won't be making a habit of this)
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they mean the world to me
#bg3 spoilers#?? idk. gith look so..Emaciated. And long. i guess we don't eat on the astral plane :) anyway..well..too much to say.....#it is very very very depressing having to live in the Real World after that final playthrough meant so very much to me.#i normally feel Hope & suchlike after finishing a highly immersive emotional game..but it's too hard this time and it hurtsssss lol yippee#i appreciate bg3 very much for being a place where i could access the concept of nudity & such like in a way that finally felt comfortable.#bodies are inherently non-sexual. they just Are a Fact of Life. this game being NORMAL about nudity from the character creation screen#makes it possible for someone like me to actually have a chance at accessing sensuality in a way that feels comfortable from there.#dont feel like putting it into words further. im ace. just very grateful to this game. even despite the horrors i will never ever forget it#augoh..gugf.. want to go back. my friends & love are in there.....i'm supposed to just move on? in the real world??? THIS place???? UHH????#my characters canonically look like that too!! i see them as intersex and not so much trans. They just look that way.#Diversity win!!! the people who enacted horrors upon you and are trying to kill you again respect your pronouns!!!! <3#I FAILED HONOUR MODE IN THE STUPIDEST WAY POSSIBLE..ACCIDENTALLY TOUCHED AN ITEM. MY LOVER TOUCHED SOME BLOOD-TOUCHED RAG ITEM @ THE CRECHE#AND MY PEOPLE MASSACRED US... YOU BELOVED PRAT. OF COURSE IT WOULD BE YOU AND IN THIS WAY#grateful for love triangle chaos...INTENSE EX DRAMA... IT HAD MAJOR REPURCUSSIONS THIS TIME...ohh so very much happened ohh my dear#truly don't know how to face the Real World now for real. I Don't Know. something has snapped. ive realised twt just makes me feel sad lol#if something in my spare time isn't at least half as fun as bg3....like.. it's not good enough. god we only have one wild and precious life#being Online makes me feel a loneliness so wretched and painful and horrible i really don't think this is the answer.#Why did you even start drawing in the first place? Why did you start this?#For real..the need to work this out and decide what on earth i'm going to do now has presented itself. Why try to get better..why be online#someone who has an imagination that can keep them so happy and fulfilled...has no business also feeling a loneliness as profound as this.#why was someone THIS introverted and withdrawn and anxious also cursed with such a restlessness?#What are you going to DO now? because hellebore and their lover are fine....... So what about you...?#hellebore..😭😭 AUUGHH!! I JUST WANT TO GO TO MY BED IN THE INN...PLAY ON MY VIOLIN THAT'S WHAT I'D DO!!!! i'd drink some ALE DAMNIT!!!!!#i was rereading My Lesbian Experience With Loneliness- the only time i've seen this level of emotional isolation depicted-and was grateful.#but then i read her latest book and now she has a debilitating substance abuse situation and it's upsetting.#I hope she finds what she was looking for. I hope we all make it. kind of wild that i dont do such major self-sabotage at this point myself#I truly think anyone who manages to find dear friends and achieve fulfillment and happiness with others outside themselves are amazing.#I see it happen from my tower. i hope we all make it. I hope we can make it through everything to come.#Why did i say all this on drawings of my characters naked. ah who even cares any more......
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