#i probably won't bc i'm so sleep deprived that i don't think i even have the strength to cry

[vilevampirez]

long list of funny things abt my experience doing emote commissions for mike

first of all I wasn't expecting to get commissioned at all (my commissions weren't even open, I just made an exception for mike) let alone by MIKETHELINK of all fucking people, so I had nothing prepared. I had no portfolio, commission sheet, nothing. I had never made any twitch emotes, so I had no examples to show either. meaning that when barbmine showed up in my dms asking if I took emote commissions, first I lost my fucking shit, then I panicked and rushed to find the most recent emote-like illustrations I had, including animation, and the most recent animation I had on hand happened to be a viewtiful joe one lmao. the animation in question 👇

(the usernames on the watermark aren't even accurate anymore..)

I have some experience taking commissions but they'd always been for friends of mine, this was my first time getting commissioned by a real "client" and the client was fucking mikethelink tazercraft of all fucking people . I know he "found" me through Mine, she sent me a dm first asking for commission info, saying she would show it to mike later. the thing is that when she said that she also implied that she was in touch with other artists too, so I was like "oh ok I'll send my stuff but I probably won't get chosen lol" and then a few hours later I got two twitter notifs, one saying that mr. thelink tazercraft was now following me and another was his DM. to say I almost had a heart attack would be an understatement

later I found out Mine had made a tweet asking for artists to reach out/people to rec artists for mike's twitch emotes. that post had around 40 comments. many people had been recommended more than once. I wasn't mentioned by anyone once, and in fact, I had no fucking idea that post even EXISTED until way after the fact. I have no idea how I ended up getting this job

mike happened to contact me on a day where I was severely sleep deprived. our entire business conversation took place while I was half-panicking, half-almost-passing-out. I don't know how I survived

at many points during our conversation I gave a lot of leeway for mike to give up on commissioning me, implying multiple times that he would be better off commissioning a different artist. and it's not because I lacked confidence (though a bit of that too, of course), but because of my lack of experience. I was very open about that to him, so many times I expected him to second guess his decision to commission me. unexpectedly, he was really insistent. I think partially he didn't want to go through the trouble of finding and contacting a different artist, but also I guess he just liked my art that much (??!?)

I definitely undercharged him lol. it's not that I don't value my work, it's just that I was absolutely not prepared for any of this shit to happen and didn't have enough time to think

I use adobe after effects for animating mike's emotes. I already knew how to animate (though I had never animated anything big), but I had never used after effects before. I even told mike this before accepting the commission, but he just said it was easy and I could totally do it, and I was just like "fucking hell. fine". and look, I know my limits, I knew I'd be able to learn after effects with relative ease. if I thought it'be too much for me to handle, I wouldn't have accepted the commission. it just that to this day I'm still shocked that mike commissioned an artist who HAD NEVER USED THE TOOL NECESSARY FOR THE COMMISSION HE WANTED.

due to the point above I was pretty apprehensive about animating the emotes, but now I'm glad I got this opportunity bc it reignited my passion for animation that had been dwindling for a long time and I've been learning a lot while working. also with every new emote I figure out how to use a different feature of after effects and it makes the job a little bit easier

before giving my payment information I came out to him to avoid confusion with my legal name being different from the name on my socials. he was very chill about it and always used the right name and pronouns for me whenever he mentions me on stream

fun fact: I was reached out to by another big (brazilian, not in qsmp) youtuber for a commission but I had to refuse because I had too much on my plate already (still do..)

my favorite emotes are the devil one and the nerd one

I made his twitch avatar and banner too! I'm really proud of the avatar. the banner was absolute hell

I'm a lurker (and nowadays a vod watcher since I've been busy w/ uni work) but I do watch every single one of mike's streams, so just know that I'm always seeing you guys use the emotes :3

[huckleberrykai]

hueningkai ~ video games

pairing: gamer bf!hyuka x sanrio gf!reader summary: ... idk what this is tbh i haven't slept in 26 hours and i'm obsessed w this trope soz THANKS MOON I HAVE SEVERE BRAINROT - gamer bf kai headcanons bcs idk how to write something proper rn but i must get thoughts out !!! texts too?? idk i blacked out this is probably bad i'm going to sleep now LOL warnings: NSFW ! minors dni i will block u <3 all links go to Pinterest lol. very much not proofread at all click here for my masterlist!

gamer bf!kai who just loves how cute you are, sharing his love of plushies and video games you're a match made in heaven >///<

kai who buys you soooo many of those little sanrio pajamas, thinking you look so cute and sexy :( soft tummy on show for him to kiss and cuddle while he toys with the soft fabric, pulling your shorts to the side~~ keep it on.. please?

just buys you a new one when he ruins it with cum stains <3

kai who loves his lil sanrio gf so much :( so sweet but so secretly dirty. he buys you so many cute plushies of your favourite characters bcs he just loves u so much <3 loves it even more when he gets pictures and videos of you in the middle of the day, desperately humping the plushies he bought u, endlessly complaining they didn't feel as good as him >///<

he has to take breaks from playing with his gaming buddies to text you back, always ending up with him in your bedroom or on the phone with you, important game be damned.

he's down so bad. ur both simps. it's probably impossible to pull u apart once ur together tbh. kai who gets in trouble all the time for spending time at your house, having sleepovers bcs he's obsessed with your big comfy bed and adorably decorated room ~ finally having you all to himself as long as you don't count the plushies watching you get railed from the end of the bed bcs u forgot to turn them around >.<.

kai who likes to communicate with his fav girl through silly Sanrio memes, all your texts having so many djksalsk~

kai who gets bullied by his members whenever they see your texts over his shoulder~ stupid memes and tooth-rotting sweetness that make them pucker their faces in disgust jokingly, but really they're happy he found someone so sweet and well matched, even if you can't seem to keep your hands off each other.

gamer bf!kai who insists you should live together so you can have a shared gaming room. lets be real tho you'd barely end up sitting in your own chair, having a few minutes to yourself before kai plucks you away from playing the sims and plops you in his own lap. he needs his good luck charm, you wouldn't deprive him of a win would you?~

needy bf kai who can't keep quiet when you squirm around in his lap~ his friends blissfully unaware of his cute gf wiggling in his lap for attention. he'd played too many rounds and you were starting to get needy, and kai's so soft for you he can never say no :((

OMG OMG COCKWARMING trying to be quiet while kai tries to keep his hands steady on his controller and voice steady through the mic, gently pulling your matching pjs down and watching you slide down on him trying to get some much-needed relief. His voice was cracking, and when you started moving against him, dropping kisses against the pretty mole on his neck he had to quit, saying he was feeling sick or something. they def knew what was going on. it's happened before, it'll happen again 😭

and big sweet bf kai, manhandling you into bed and fucking you so well. He won't stop until you're seeing stars~ hands clutched around a hello kitty plush he'd given you with your hair sprawled out on the pillow. his sweet sanrio loving princess <3

nsfw taglist: @subbyjvnnie @mazeinthemoon @n0-thisispatrick @banggyu0308 @majestyjun @bibibinnie @beom-pyu

[moony4pads]

If you have ADHD and take high dosage 12 hour ritalin on a daily basis, but due to the medication shortage the only brand of meds your pharmacy can suppy is one that kinda fluctuates if it works through the day, so sometimes before big exams, when you can tell your meds aren't working properly, you take a small dosage of 4 hour medication to help you focus DONT TAKE IT USING THE SAME ROUTINE THAT YOU USE TO TAKE UR LONG ACTING MEDS (I think alot of ppl probably eat some type of protien when talking there medication, for me I take a handful of nuts.) Because you might on autopilot take the 12 hour medication in the evening (and due to it also being used to treat narcolepsy and your sleep meds not working if your still on it) not be able to sleep for the next 12 hours on top of how sleep deprived you already are. And don't try to make yourself throw up the medication beacuse it won't work and your attempt to put your finger down your throat will just horrify you and give you are v sore throat, and drinking 2 cups of water with 4 teapoons of salt and eating that Toothpaste and trying to cough and throw up for an hour will give u a really bad headache and stomach ache. And leave you lying in bed writing hate mail towards ur dumb brain that messed up your life even though it's only 8 o'clock (you took the extra meds at 6) And don't bring up how bad ur feeling to ppl around you bc they will get mad if you use the term overdose bc your accidentally went 48mg over the legal max and they will say ur just being dramatic even though your brain is being wierd af. Not that I'm speaking from experience or anything.

[iturmom]

i think the fact that i'm not eating much is making me insane. and i'm so scared that i'm not going to have access to enough food when i'm at the homeless shelter bc i don't know how much food they'll give us i don't know if they offer vegetarian meals and i know there are a lot of people who understand the importance of my diet to my person (i'm thinking of several religions whose people would understand, but also other vegans/vegetarians would get it too) but i will briefly describe for those who don't. i have not eaten meat, at least not on purpose, in 10 years because looking at a piece of meat makes me grieve for the sentient life that was lost and i can't force myself to contribute to demanding a supply of millions of sentient creatures forced to exist in cruel conditions only as future food for a choice that i could just as easily not make. i have put a lot of careful thought into the desperation i would have to be in to justify eating meat and it would only be in life or death. only if my very survival depnds on it. and i just can't justify eating meat in a homeless shelter in the 7th biggest city in america i am not in a food desert there is absolutely no reason i should be unable to survive without eating meat so it's not justified i won't eat meat at that homeless shelter so if they don't give me enough food without meat i don't have any other options for food i won't get enough calories and it will contribute to the state of malnutrition i'm likely already in bc i was barely getting enough nutrition when i WAS able to eat and i know that since i've been having incredible trouble eating i have very little energy and standing is incredibly hard. so i'm scared my likely malnutrition will get worse at the homeless shelter and contribute even more to my precarious mental state.

i'm also scared bc i know that i will be sleeping on the floor at the homeless shelter. i have 5 subluxations in my back and when i sleep in imperfect conditions it fucks up my back and i just know that sleeping on the floor for more than a week will fuck up my back so badly that i will be unable to walk. i will also be unable to sleep because when my back gets fucked up laying down puts me in too much pain to be able to sleep. i will be sleep deprived at the homeless shelter. i mean this is all under the assumption that i will be able to sleep the first night there at all. i probably won't i can't fall asleep on the floor unless i'm 100% exhausted.

i don't know how the fuck i'm expected to be able to get a job when i am so malnutritioned that i will be too weak to stand even if i COULD stand through the pain AND i will be such a basket case being sleep deprived and malnutritioned which will also exacerbate my already existing mental illnesses. how could i possibly get a job to support myself like that? who knows what such a mental state could cause me to do?

and that's not to mention the other worries i have that i don't feel like i can even express bc it would be insulting to who knows how many thousands of people that have it worse?

and there's no other option for me because no one wants to work but i've put in well over 100 applications and i can't beg for a job with a degree and 5 years of work experience. WITH A DEGREE. AND FIVE YEARS OF WORK EXPERIENCE. I CANNOT GET A JOB. I'M NOT ALLOWED TO SURVIVE WITHOUT A JOB. i spent like 3 years trying to get disability but i had to stop so i could try to get a job to prevent me from being in the homeless shelter. now that i've been trying so hard to get a job i'll probably never qualify for disability even when i'm unable to stand i bet. and i have to wonder if i was set up so that i'll never be able to get disability because i was threatened that i would be kicked out of the program i'm living at that is now shutting down anyway if i did not try to get a job.

this is not even scratching the surface of all of the fuckery i have been through in my life this suffering i have described in this post is just fucking tuesday in my life and i am quite certain no one cares. my family doesn't care. none of the hundreds (?) of people i have gotten close to in my life care. none of the people who advocate for my issues care. if anyone reads this post it's not like it's going to cause outrage there are so many people who are suffering worse than me who am i to deserve compassion? it'll probably just get ignored and the powers that be get to keep getting away with it!

[nathank77]

8/17/24

9:23 a.m

I struggled to sleep. I think I fell asleep for like 10 minutes or so. I lost time per my sleep timer on my tv but not much... I woke up right after it turned off. It turned off at 11:34. I woke up at 11:35 p.m.

Then I took Benadryl, and 3 more mg of Melatonin. 20 minutes went by and I smoked 4 hits of weed before I was ready to quit and pull an all nighter and I fell asleep as I planned what I will do to keep myself awake all day bc I refused to take anymore xanax. It's not worth raising my tolerance...

I had a panic attack prior to the weed.

Idk if I'm taking Methimazole today. I'm debating it. I don't want to go Hypo. But clearly I'm going to struggle every night if I don't go back to normal...

I'm terrified of microsleeping again. I did a little research and I had to stop myself bc microsleep is a little different than what happened to me. It did happen to me. I did have rem eye movements while my eyes were opened... the vibrating was different. It's too scary to read.

If the board doesn't take her license away I have to kill myself. I'm probably going to do it soon so I can ensure they take her license away.

I'm more fucked up from sleep deprivation than I had originally thought. That's why mike asked me what microsleep means. Appearantly it is not vibrating that's it's own beast... and it's terrifying.

It happens after 48 hours not 4 days. By 48 hours you can lose rapid eye movement and I almost did.

My brain forgot how to sleep. I can't read anymore. Knowledge is not power at the moment. It makes me feel like a survivor but like I'm more damaged than I thought. Damaged beyond belief.

I started with 2mg of Melatonin bc for some reason I kept thinking less Melatonin is more... and then I went to 3 mg when I woke up from my like 10 minute useless nap that should have transitioned into full blown sleep ...

Sometimes I wonder if microsleep broke my brain so bad that even now my sleep stages are different. Maybe my brain is even more mangled. Maybe making it to 35 is a wishful thinking. 40 might be too much time.

I won't read anymore. My definition of microsleep is a little different than what I thought it was but nonetheless I microslept and I didn't sleep and I suffered severe sleep deprivation and I may never recover.

Who knows what will happen tonight. In 4 or 5 days of no sleep you can lose your mind. I can't read anymore. That was the entire month of October. My brain was being destroyed. It forgot how to sleep.

I went 120 hours at a time without sleep. 120 hours where I laid there trying to sleep and no matter what I couldn't.

[meetmeatthecoda]

Lately, I've found myself drawn to stories ( and I mean drawn to as in envisioning those stories in my head, thinking them through to the very last detail, not reading, let alone writing them down, because I've long since accepted that they will never turn out quite the same on the paper ) where Red is the one who'd been seriously hurt and, therefore, rendered unconscious for an indefinite amount of time and worried Liz is the one who doesn't leave his side, hoping and praying and pleading that he would wake up. Probably, something that has to do with how unfair it is that we've seen Red keep vigil by hurt!Lizzy's side – playing music for her, holding her hand, reading to her etc. – a number of times and yet, over the course of 8 seasons, never have ever been allowed the pleasure of seeing Liz do the same for him ( not even when he was shot – because she left to retrieve the Fulcrum and couldn't come back until the fight was over – or when he was poisoned – because she'd been waiting to be cleared to see him and he ran away the moment he wasn't actively dying, because that's Red for you all ), even though she loves and cares about him as much as he loves and cares about her.

I mean, just imagine the possibilities!

Liz pacing around the waiting area of Red's mobile hospital while he's in surgery, unable to think about anything else other than how he looked – battered and broken and barely alive – when they've found him and how his head rested in her lap ( she could almost convince herself that he was merely dozing, if he wasn't so deathly pale and still and there wasn't so much blood on his clothes and her clothes and her hands and the backseat of the car ) and his hand was limp in her death grip as they rushed him to his doctors and she whispered words of reassurance and encouragement to him even though she knew he couldn't hear her and how she had to fight the instinct to curl around her lover and snarl at anyone who would come close because she can't let him be hurt further as the medics took him away from her, exchanging observations and orders that didn't sound particularly reassuring. She's also acutely aware of the fact that Red is fighting for his life – there, just a few feet away from her – and, though he's the strongest man she's ever known, he may not win, and so she makes a promise to the empty air in front of her that she will kill him herself if he dares to give up on her and Agnes like that now, when they've just reached the good, right place in their relationship, just confesses their feelings to each other. At some point, Dembe most certainly pulls Liz in for a hug, letting her cry in his shoulder, doing his best to comfort her ( even though there's nothing that can bring her more comfort than Red's hug, when he – alive and whole – wraps his arms protectively around her and holds her close and lets her hide from the whole world in his arms, his chest, his shoulder and neck – wherever she prefers to burrow her face at the time – and the memory itself makes her cry harder, because there's a possibility that he will never hug her like that again ), even though he's just as worried and scared as she is, and Mr Kaplan helps Liz clean up, washing away Red's blood from her hands and producing seemingly out of the thin air fresh clothes for her to change into.

Red, of course, pulls through the surgery, beating all odds, and Liz's heart floods with relief at the good news before sinking when the doctor explains to her and Dembe and Mr Kaplan the extent of Red's injuries and that it's impossible to say when – or even if – he wakes up.

And so the waiting game begins. Liz doesn't leave Red's side, holding his hand, stroking his knuckles with her thumb and never letting go, constantly talking to him and reading to him and even asking Dembe to bring the record player and some records from the Bethesda apartment to play to him, hoping that it would elicit some kind of response from him. Yet, as they days go by, there's not a single, smallest sign that he's aware of anything that's going on around him, that he's still there somewhere and is trying to find his way back to her, to them – he doesn't stir, doesn't so much as flutter his eyelashes, and Liz grows more desperate with each passing day, even though the doctor assures her that Red's slowly but surely improving ( but she can't see it with her own eyes, and if she can't see it, she's less likely to believe it, the more time passes with him just lying there, undisturbed by the loud, chaotic world around him ).

And then there's Agnes... While Liz keeps vigil at Red's bedside, the babysitting duties are split equally between Aram and Samar, Charlene and Cooper, Ressler and Audrey and Dembe and Mr Kaplan. Yet more often than not whoever picks little Agnes up from school and / or her ballet classes brings her over to the safe-house where Liz and Red are. She doesn't seem to be as unnerved by Red's state as her mommy is, climbing on his bed each time she visits ( after giving her mommy the biggest hug, of course ) and leaning in close to him, examining his face thoughtfully before half-asking, half-stating "He's still tired, mommy?". And Liz usually replies with a hoarse "Yes, baby" because she doesn't trust herself not to get choked up if she tries to answer more eloquently. Agnes simply nods then, satisfied with the explanation why he hasn't woken up yet, and settles against Red's side – mindful of his injuries and the spider web of wires and tubes connecting him to all sorts of monitors and machines – and either naps ( especially, on ballet classes days ) or tells her mommy and Red ( she talks to him just like Liz does much too easily – promising him to show him the new moves she's learnt when he wakes up etc. – as if she's already done that before or seen anyone else do that... unbeknownst to Liz, she did both – when Liz herself was in a coma, Agnes both saw Red talk to her mommy and was encouraged by him to talk to her, too, because it may help her mommy sleep easier and maybe she'll get better sooner and finally wake up ) about her day or does her homework or draws ( more often than not, she draws either cards for Red to read when he wakes up or just things she wants him to see ). And when the time comes for her to leave, she always kisses Red on the cheek, wishing him "sweet dreams" and to get better soon, and then gives her mommy, who tries so very hard not to tear up but fails miserably, a hug and a kiss, too, and tells her frequently that she shouldn't cry because Red is just too tired, just like she – Liz – once was, and that he just needs to sleep a bit more.

And when the door behind Agnes closes and Liz is sure her daughter won't see / hear her, she breaks down hard, in big, ugly sobs, because her little girl shouldn't be acting so naturally in this kind of situation and because she wishes so hard that Red just woke up, because she can't do this, any of this, without him.

In the end, once his body has healed itself enough and he regained enough of his strength, Red, of course, does wake up. It's a slow process, and Liz thinks she might either faint or go mad from the overwhelming feelings that are swirling inside of her when Red moves for the first time in what seems to her like forever – squeezing her hand feather-lightly – and when he leans slightly, unconsciously into her touch when she strokes his cheek – out of habit, without even expecting any sort of reaction from him and being pleasantly surprised – and when he opens his eyes for the first time – it's a brief occurrence, with his eyes slipping shut tiredly again after just a few moments, and he's still pretty much out of it, apparently, not even noticing her presence by his side, but for Liz it's a major event – and when he finally, finally looks directly at her – alive and conscious and alert – and calls her "Lizzy". He's still weak and his voice sounds terrible and Liz knows she shouldn't let all of her pent-up feelings – the fear and despair and frustration and love and relief and exhaustion – out on him like that – he's just woken up, after all – but she can't hold back the tears nor the jumbled mess of "thank you"s and "I love you"s and " "I've missed you"s and "I'm so so happy you're back" and "I was so worried" and "Don't ever scare me like that again" that spills from her lips as she leans in to kiss him lightly and give him the gentlest of hugs...

(Since I'm not a ficwriter and, therefore, have no intentions of using this pile of ideas/images/feelings myself, I wouldn't mind at all if you or any other writer drew inspiration from this rambling of mine)

Ahhhhh 😭😭😭 Are you sure you're not a fic writer, anon?? Cause this reads like some quality hurt/comfort to me!! 🥲🥲 Honestly, this is a lovely scenario to imagine & it gives me a slightly bitter sense of satisfaction to think of Liz suffering through just a fraction of the time Red spent by her side while she was in her coma... especially if it's the catalyst for fEeLiNgS to emerge tee hee bc, you're RIGHT, we were woefully deprived of those situations in the show & I'll never not be sad about it tbh. More specifically, things I love the most about this in no particular order: Liz having to "fight the instinct to curl around her lover & snarl" *swoon*, Liz swearing she will kill him herself if he dies LMAO, Dembe hugging her for comfort & Mr. Kaplan helping her get cleaned up 🥺🥺🥺, Liz playing records for Red yasss, AGNES & everyone taking turns babysitting her while she misses her Daddy desperately but deals with the situation with a maturity & grace beyond her years in an effort to help her grieving Mommy through it cool cool mkay mkay, Liz only breaking down once Agnes leaves OWWW, anddddd Liz being a blubbering mess when Red finally wakes up & calls her "Lizzie" & they kiss *whispers* it's fine, i'm fine 🙃 IN CONCLUSION, I love this anon, thank you for sharing this lovely little AU with me!! 🥰 And much, much love to you, of course, my friend!! ❤️

[thyandrawrites]

Please consider: Shinsou and Jirou as mlm / wlw solidarity

So Shinsou finally joins class A, right, and he ends up befriending the bakusquad first because of Kaminari. Then he slowly warms up to others as well. I imagine him being friends with Jirou because:

1. Both have sound-based quirks so they'd probably start training together and then hang out even outside of training because they're both shy and withdrawn introverts;

2. I expect them to exchange cds ans playlists on spotify at some point because they definitely listen to the same genres of music

3. Similar aesthetics (a sleep deprived emo would fit right in the goth squad - and yes I'm including Tokoyami and Bakugou here bc Reasons™)

4. They would gang up on Kaminari and tease the hell out of him

5. It's just cute. Pls don't sleep on this iconic duo

So. They end up becoming best friends, right. And at some point Shinsou finally realizes that the jealousy he feels whenever Kami flirts with people is not just him being protective of his first friend bc people don't deserve him; that of course prompts a gay panic™ because Shinsou has never been attracted to anyone before, so how can be sure that he really has a thing for him?? And that he's not just developing feelings for one of the first people who weren't afraid of him? How can he be sure that he doesn't like girls that way?

Cue Jirou, who is a seasoned lesbian who had to undergo the same process a couple of months before, when she realized that her admiration for Momo wasn't exactly platonic.

Jirou is a great buddy, right, so when she realizes that Shinsou has been walking with his head in the clouds and avoiding Kami with increasingly improbable excuses ("sorry I can't be there this afternoon, I have... an hairstylist appointment"), she drags him somewhere quiet and has a Talk with him. Jirou knows from experience that, if left to his own devices, Shinsou will probably talk himself out of confessing to his very mutual crush.

Shinsou won't listen to a single word she says so in the end she just rolls her eyes and tells him. "You're a logical guy. So think logically. I'm a girl, thanks for noticing. I'm one of your first friends too, and we've been close since the very first days. Yet you've never stared at me the way you stare at him."

And that gets to Shinsou.

Jirou keeps looking at him in a very unimpressed fashion while he has this little meltdown while looking as deadpan as ever, and at some point even reluctantly suggests they kiss to dispel any remaining doubts

Shinsou finally gets back to himself and turns the offer down, much to her relief

Somewhere after that, kamishin get together and Shinsou and Jirou become even closer afterwards

[planetdream]

HELLO HELLO I FORGOT I SENT YOU AN ASK???? AND I WAS THE ONE ASKING IF IT GOT DELETED? VERY RUDE OF ME

okay no but yes I just got sick for another week 😭😭😭 life is not kind to me,,,,I JUST finished an essay and it's 6:19am rn and the sky is lighting up this is homophobic </3

I'm trying to get to terms to losing it but mannnnn I'm so pissed and upset because I had three kpop photo cards in it 😭 (along with other very important stuff ofc like my old student cards and I, obviously, alr graduated)

What can I say I'm just someone who loves the dark too much sksksksks jokes aside tho the dark is nice cos it makes me less guilty to be depressed - it's so weird to see it still light outside at 7pm rip

DREAMIE I WAS LOWKEY KIDDING BUT YOU ACTUALLY SAVED A SPOT FOR ME ALDHFJSJSHDJSKKDDK I LOVE YOU HELLO?? Okay but yes I will Sit Down and Think About It and come back to you with an MV uwu

Also Maniac omg,,,,Felix is such a queer king with that skirt and his HAIR as always a fashion icon. Hyunjin with red hair?? Chan with blue hair?? Changbin with green highlights?? Freaking LEE KNOW with purple hair?? These boys are here to slay and they aren't leaving anyone alive oh no. And Han with that slicked back hairstyle </3 I'm sorry Seungmin but Han is killing me there I can't skskkzsksksksks Also erm no hate but I didn't like the song at first? But it's so catchy?? Like does it sit at the top of my skz playlist? Not really. But is it so catchy that it makes me want to loop it so many times my brain explodes? Yes.

(also sorry if everything looks incoherent I've been writing a 2k essay for the past seven hours and I desperately need sleep)

Bestie SAME on the touch starved end 😭✋ and yes physical emotional connection desperately needed here as well pls 😭😭 I think my friend's constant complaints rubbed off on me because he's always like omg I want a boyfriend and there can only be one touch starved hoe between us so I have to be the bigger person ☠️☠️ but yes much love needed here as well

SCREAMING CRYING MOANING AT THE MENTAL IMAGE. just,,,,seungmo trying to not betray his feelings but ultimately man is a human as well and at the end he's not even scrolling through his phone,,,,the screen is black and it's just something to anchor himself onto </3 absolutely insane with that idea

Also that anon who said Lee Know <3. Massive vibes <33

How are you doing dreamie? Hope all is well hehe :)

-seong

ok first off—get some sleep (maybe u already are idk) can't have u out here sleep-deprived AND sick omg.

and the wallet 💔💔💔 three pcs and important things oh baby i really feel for u...tbh i dont think i'd be able to come to terms with losing it...

as for the collab—there's not a set deadline for posting the fic at the moment (and there probably won't be lol) so you can take your time choosing the fic, but that seungmin spot is 100% yours, babe!

maniac—the boys all look so good and im proud of what they've accomplished this era so far. i was talking about this with moon the other day but it's so fun to watch all of this happen in real time. like bb200?? so sexy of them, really. and yeah, at first listen i wasn't vibing with maniac like i did the other songs on the album (chalking it up to my general occasional dislike of singles) but after the second listen i liked it a lot more ahaha

— apologising for things seeming incoherent?? welcome to my entire blog fr

i've been going outside more and more lately since it's getting warmer and idk im just so...starved of different types of connections. i think i want a romantic connection lol, but that's a lot of work rn and i can't put someone through the stress of dealing with me atm rip

how am i doing? well it's pretty late now and i had a pretty busy day and im finally settling in at home fr and im just....so emotional for no reason?? wanna cry a little bit but other than that im doing good. upset bc i don't have any weed rn but it is what it is lol