#i read books with characters who are in their late teens and catch myself going oh yeah they're around my age

[thebirdandhersong]

genuinely shocked that I'm not actually 17 anymore

[thewriteflame]

Find the Word

I'm sorry it's been a while but thank you @winglesswriter for the tag!

Tagging: @megarywrites @blue-kyber @emelkae @pinespittinink @violets-in-her-arms-writes and open tag

You're words: Joke, Jump, Brown, Bug, Book

Words: Believe, Blissful, Bored, Birth and Blind

Believe from an old short story, Pietiful

“I can’t believe we got caught!” Jayme was one octave from screeching as he leaned against Nim in the backseat of the car. Nim felt annoyed- but mostly flustered- at his closeness. Since Cris had plans with her cousin, Jayme and Nim we alone. Well, as alone as two teens can get when being driven from one end of town to the other in a large Lincoln. “Mr. Matthews, please sit properly.” Nim’s driver intoned from behind the wheel. “You don’t want me to get ticketed do you?” “Who’s going to stop a Bayrd’s ride?” Jayme asked but he sat up, righting himself so that he was sitting in the middle instead of lying across the seats Nim wasn’t using. “What do you mean you can’t believe we got caught?” Nim asked. She tried her best to keep her composure as Jayme began playing with her hair. “I would question Mrs. Bell if she didn’t catch us after you stood up and yelled.” She stiffened when Jayme’s hand lightly brushed the edge of her jaw.

Blissful

error 404

Bored from another short story, To Bribe a Mome

Takashti dropped his pencil on his desk and whirled his chair around. “Jayme, shut up! I can’t focus on this paper with all your moaning!” He ordered his roommate. “But studying is so boring!” Jayme whined from his side of the room. He was sprawled on his desk, most likely crinkling the pages of the book that was under him. “Reading is so boring, especially since you’re re-reading.” He moaned again. “I don’t care if you’re bored; I just care if you’re quiet.” Takashti snapped. “And you can always not study,” He added as he turned back to his report. “I have this test tomorrow.” Jayme let out another moan and his chair squeaked as he moved. “College is killing me. Why can’t I just become a model? I am hot.” Takashti rolled his eyes. “And when you become unattractive with age, then what?” Jayme gasped as if Takashti had blasphemed. “Me? Unattractive? Never! Even my bones will be beautiful!” This proclamation earned another eye roll.

Birth from Home

“I’m a healer,” Ka’il said, cutting into Saavin’s muttering. “I’ll only use a sword to defend myself and others.” Saavin stared at him, an eyebrow raised. “How old are you?” He asked. “Twenty, I think.” Ka’il replied. Did the day marking his birth pass? It couldn’t have been more than a year could it? Saavin looked him up and down, skeptical. “My parents taught me from a young age so, despite my age, I have well over twelve years of experience.” Saavin’s eyes widened as his eyebrows went up. He slowly smiled like a coveted prize had landed in his lap. “Yes, we should be thankful to parents who bestow the best training on their children. I have this,” He gestured around at the painted walls of the ship, “Thanks to my dear late father.”

Blind This one is from an old story from back when I wrote in first person more, Ella the Rat. Takashti is the POV character.

I looked away and my eyes fell on a rat. I watched as it stuffed food in its cheeks then climbed over another rat to get on the wheel. It ran on the wheel for three seconds and ran back to the food as if rewarding itself for exercising. Its sleek coat shone in the lights, the gray interrupted by an odd shaped patch of white. For some reason it reminded me of Jayme. “This rat,” I pointed to it. Cris and Nim joined me, the latter wiping her eyes. We watched in silence as it finished stuffing more food in its already filled cheeks then proceeded to climb everywhere before settling down by another rat. “It’s Jayme,” Cris said in awe. “What do you mean?” Nim asked. “Nim, I know you aren’t a girl blinded by love. That rat acts like Jayme.” Cris explained. Nim opened her mouth then closed it. “You’re right,” She said in defeat.

[nctinfo]

[TRANS] Renjun, Jeno & Jaemin’s interview with Arena HOMME+ July 2020 issue!

RENJUN

Do you like the summer weather? I like the feeling of a refreshing drive under the bright sky while looking at the sea. I like summer evenings too. The feeling of the sun fading away and hiding.

Are you sensitive to heat? I am, but when I’m relaxed the heat feels more bearable.

Your face is lovely. Do you like your face? I wish people would love not only their assets but also their flaws. In that aspect I do like myself.

What’s your asset? My pupils are big. When talking to people you look them in the eyes, right? This is when I think I can relay my message better.

People say that Renjun is pure. Haha. I think everyone’s got something innocent about them, it’s just that we view it differently. I often have weird thoughts. I don’t know if it sounds ridiculous, but I think about things like why are people born, why people have children and raise them, why life exists. I think about the universe too, I also like documentaries about the animal world. I am curious and it’s not like anyone can just tell me the answers, right? It’s just fun to ask questions and let your imagination run free.

What have you been imagining lately? Before bed I imagine a place and come up with stories and characters. For example if I was a character in a movie like <Avatar> I imagine what kind of creatures would be there, if I would be able to fly and where I would fly to...

Are you a person who needs alone time? That’s right. I used to want company when I was lonely. But these days I think that alone time is good too. I don’t know what kind of person I was before, but now I think I have to focus on myself. I think I need to be firm with myself to take care of other people.

Why do you want to be firm with yourself? I came to such a big company like SM, there’s so many charming people. At first I always cared about other people’s eyes on me. How do others view me, what do they think of me, what should I do to look good in their eyes. But at one point I couldn’t keep up with others. I wanted to walk my own path only.

Do you have a soft side? Honestly yes. I cry easily and I get emotional a lot. Back in the day I wanted to showcase a strong image of me to hide the tenderness, but right now I’m just focusing on making my heart strong.

What is a strong heart? It’s something of my own. So that people can’t shake me up easily.

Are you soft looking but strong inside? It doesn’t matter whether it’s soft on the outside but tough on the inside, or tough both outside and inside. I don’t have to look strong or weak, I just have to be ‘me’. I like drawing, but whenever I drew something off I would stress over it. I use my brain a lot without even realising, unconsciously. So even when a drawing came out well I would still be stressing over it. Now I’m not restricting myself with only drawing well, I don’t erase anything, I just want to draw happily.

Do you know Renjun as a person now? I think I do a little, since I don’t care what others think and express what I want to express. But I also still don’t. Time and experience will solve it.

You said you didn’t do the MBTI test on purpose? To be honest I tried once. But I only want myself to know. I want to be seen as I am. 

What did you dream of as a child? Becoming a star. Ever since I was little I wanted to become an idol. I enjoyed dancing and singing, it’s like I was shining.

Do you believe in destiny? I do. 

Do you think Renjun coming to Korea was destiny? That’s right. It’s unbelievable to me. I applied for an audition but gave up because I didn’t hear anything back. So I was just eating and received a call and yelled on the spot. I was this happy haha. The next day straight away I bought the tickets to the audition place and participated in the global audition. 

Why did you think you couldn’t make it? I’m the type to be prepared for the worst case scenario. So I’m very happy and thankful I made it this far.

How was adjusting to Korea? It wasn’t as hard as I thought. It was something I wanted.

What are fans to Renjun? I too like kpop and idols, so I know this feeling very well. I know how it feels to think of someone as a person who gives you strength, so I change my position. What would I be feeling if I were a fan? We’re giving strength to each other.

What kind of songs would you like to sing? Pretty fantasy songs like those from Disney movies. I want to sing a cover of the <Frozen> OST ‘For the First Time in Forever’.

That would suit Renjun well. What kind of person do you see as cool? Someone who knows who they are. Someone who is impressive even without talking, someone who doesn’t use perfume but still draws people in as if they smelled good. I want to become a person like this.

In that case is Renjun impressive? Hahaha. Although I like how I am now I need to become even better. 

What is something Renjun dreams of now? Self approval. One day I would also like to spend my life travelling around the world and looking at the beauty of it.

JENO 

What do you usually do in summer? Since debut we usually have a comeback in summer and promote. When I was little, my parents and I would always go to a valley. I like swimming. I even learned the butterfly stroke. I’m fairly good at it.

Your body is more solid than expected. I didn’t mean for it to become like this, but I really like sports. I like to make use of my body. I like going to the gym and because I love cycling I’ll occasionally ride to Han River or Yangpyeong. When I was little, I played table tennis and badminton pretty diligently. I usually remain motionless and use up all my energy at once. I’d rather put all my strength into it and then stay exhausted.

Are you competitive? Very. I think a lot about how to win anything. I feel uncomfortable when losing.

Are you goal-oriented? Having no goal makes you sluggish. I have to have a clear goal in order to systematically work hard towards achieving it. My current goal is showing how much I’ve matured for our next comeback. I monitor my seniors a lot. It’s great motivation. I want to become a person who is really good at one thing at least.

Who do you want to be most alike in fierceness? U-Know Yunho sunbaenim’s passion. It’d be hard to catch up, but I really want to be like him.

It’s surprising your name isn’t a stage name. Imperial “Je”(帝), hard work “No”(努). Do you like it? My maternal grandfather picked it. He named me that so I may receive strength from a higher position. I really like it. It’s not common. Haha. I feel the responsibility of living like my name.

Is your dream big? It’s more than high. It should be high. Since I was little, I liked to be praised and wanted to do things perfectly. Instead of praising myself, I always say, ‘No, you’re not there yet.’ I already receive enough compliments and support from our fans. I don’t even need to praise myself. You have to gain strength and train yourself with that support. 

You have a tall nose and defined jaw. Do you like your face? I’m not dissatisfied. Hahaha. I’ve been liking my tear mole these days. I wasn’t really conscious of it before, but lately I’m glad that I have it. If I didn’t have that tear mole, I think I’d give off too strong of an impression. Doesn’t it look good? Haha.

I remember Jeno from the Angpang Milk ad. He was a child model that everyone would remember when mentioned at the time. Back then, I was scared and cried all the time. When I came on set there were so many strangers, and when I was in front of the camera, I cried because I couldn’t see my mom. Hahaha. It got better once I found out the staff people weren’t scary people.

What were you like off-camera? Rather than going out and playing with friends, I liked studying and reading books. I studied very hard in elementary school. Come to think of it, I seem to really like doing things by myself. I enjoyed reading a series of youth novels, conducting scientific experiments, putting puzzles together, or assembling Lego. A homebody to this day. Haha.

What’s the fun part of creating something? A sense of accomplishment. There’s pride and satisfaction in saying ‘I did it!’ I’m a person for whom a sense of accomplishment is of great importance. I also like this sense of accomplishment when I get to prepare and show a performance.

Did having an early social life help you with promotions? Not being opposed to making eye contact with the camera, also smiling/laughing well. I often hear that I look cold when I’m expressionless, but when we are together, I always laugh and everyone knows the real me. Hahaha.

On the contrary, what was regretful about acting since a very young age? Nothing. I got a good opportunity and experienced a lot. Nothing to regret.

You have a strange sense of stability for your age. I’m not very emotional by nature. I don’t cry much and I rarely have mood swings. With other members being so animated and having so much character it may seem like that. But I’m not as calm as I look. I’m just the type to not show when I get irritated or hurt, I talk quietly after a while. I just unwind on my own and don’t want to make things uncomfortable.

They say you’re an ‘FM’ person who goes by the rules. It’s good to be certain about anything. I try my best to perform my duties properly.

What do the other members think what kind of person Jeno is? A reliable one. When I address important matters within the team, I talk about them naturally. Rather than relying on them, it’s like I’m passing on difficult questions… hahaha.

What kind of person do you think is impressive? Someone who does what they want, someone with room for development. First of all if a person does what they want they are less likely to give up, more than anything a person like this is happy.

Is Jeno impressive? I’m trying my best. But I am doing what I want and because I’m receiving support from so many people I am happy for sure. If 10 means the best (in terms of happiness) then it’s a 10.

You debuted as a teen and now you are 20. Do you think you’ve grown a little? My appearance and skills have grown but my mindset is still that of a kid. Thoughts and personality are the same. 

It’s like you’ve grown with the Dream members together without changing classes. Right. I can’t even imagine not having these friends. I’ve been seeing Jaemin for 7~8 years now though so I’m a little tired of him, hahaha. Kinda like even if we buy one thing, we buy it together. We have our own world.

What is Jeno dreaming of now? To become a cool person while being happy. 

JAEMIN

What do you usually do in the summer? I like sports you can do in the water. Jet skiing or riding a yacht. I can already ride a yacht by myself. Even though the summer is better than a cold winter, my favorite season is autumn.

Pretty with round eyes and a bright smile. What's your favorite thing about your face? I like my eyes the most. The fans caught on some details I didn't even know about, so I became more fond of my eyes.

How did you get the nickname ‘Nana’? It's 'Nana' because my name is Na Jaemin. It's pretty and I like it. It's a nickname that's been used since I was a trainee.

When you look at Jaemin, he seems to be someone who likes people and is full of love for humanity. It's been like that since I was born. There's no need to dislike someone when you meet them for the first time. Hahaha. I think relationships between people and friends are the most important part of life.

How is your relationship with the members? It's very solid. Since we lived together for 7~8 years, it is safe to say that we are family. We know each other so well, and can speak our minds right away without fighting. I can talk about things with my members, I can't tell my mother because I don't want her to worry, and lean on them.

You seem to have a lot of natural aegyo, were you born with it? I'm an only child so I received lots of love. It's not something I do on command, but my body expresses the affection my mom has given me since I was young. I want to be someone who gives back the love I received from the fans. When you have received love, you can now give love.

Are you athletic? My mother made me exercise a lot when I was young. I learned sports like speed skating, inline skating, snowboarding, and it suited me well. Once I started, I did it all day without knowing the passing of time. These days, I usually ride a bicycle with Jeno. If you go to the Hangang you can ride about 30km at a time. 

You seem to have endurance. It's in my personality to see it until the end. If what you want to do doesn't work out, keep going with the best of your abilities.

You seem very bright. The words keep pouring out. When I work I try my best to speak as much as possible, flaunt aegyo and show a bright image, but I don't speak much back at the dorm. I'm the type to pour out everything when I'm outside but will need to recharge when I'm home. My bed is my side battery. Hahaha. At home, I like to listen to songs alone, write or edit pictures.

You drink your coffee overly bitter and eat sweets overly sweet. That's right. It's a bit extreme. Hahaha. I do what I want to do! I dislike what I dislike. I'm that kind of type.

I heard you make Tangfuru for the members? Jisung and Chenle eat it especially well. These days I'm into T-bone steak and think about getting a sous vide machine. The kids like meat.

You look like someone who can take care of different things well I take care [of things/others/dreamies] really well. Hahaha. When they are hungry I will make something they want. When they say things like "Hyung, how to run the washing machine,' 'the boiler is not turned on,' 'the internet is not working,' I try to help as much as I can.

When you shot for <Arena> two years ago you were still a teenager, but now you're an adult. Do you think you've grown? I still have pictures of that time on my phone. Looking at the pictures that were taken today, it seems like I've grown up well. When I read the interview from 2 years ago again, I must've thought I was all grown up back then, hahaha. At 20 years old now, I think I'm still far from being grown up. I'm still young. There's still a lot to learn.

What was your dream when you were young? I never thought of becoming an idol. I was really shy back then. Originally my dream was to become a surgeon. When I was young I saw <Mysteries of the Human Body> and had such dreams. Haha. I wanted to save people!

You were cast while you were volunteering. Even after debuting, you continued to show support. I think I should give back to society as much as I have received. Since I was young my mom has told me "If you receive, you must know how to give back." It's normal for me, I used to donate in my name since I was really young.

What kind of person do you think is impressive? Someone who has more to offer on the inside than outside. Rather than being a flashy person I want to become someone solid with substance. 

What are your interests these days? To be honest I’m slow with trends. I find out about things like half a year later than others. These days we talk with the members about what content to show our fans when we’re inactive [not promoting]. I want to post my own pictures and self-edited videos so I’m teaching myself how to do it. Lately, I’ve been wanting to learn how to use photo editing software properly, but it’s difficult to deal with. 

Jaemin is known for taking good pictures. Hahaha. I uploaded pictures I took of the members yesterday and the fans liked it and told me my skills had improved. Since I'm getting praised I want to keep taking pictures and upload them.

It looks like you like to capture portraits more than landscapes. I love taking portraits. For example, trees always stand in a similar shape in the same place. But as for people, I can make them do whatever I want them to do and see various expressions continuously. I think that's much more attractive. It's fun to capture facial expressions, eyes, nose, and other features.

What kind of dreams do you have now? Dreams should be grand and certain. Always set high goals. My dream is to get many more of our fans who love us. And in order to do that I must work even harder. The pictorial we shot today has a distinct sexy feeling. So I hope you’ll enjoy it. Hahaha. 

Translation: Alex, Myeon, Esmee @ FY! NCT (NCTINFO) | Source: Arena HOMME+ — Do not repost or take out without our permission!

[captain--sif]

Lift me up

Words: 5.5k Fandom: 9-1-1 (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV) Characters: Evan "Buck" Buckley, Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Maddie Buckley Additional Tags: minor Evan "Buck" Buckley & Maddie Buckley, minor Eddie Diaz & Christopher Diaz, Trapped In Elevator, Elevatorstuck, Elevators, Flirting, Pining, Alternate Universe - Apartment Building, 5+1 Things, beta read by grammarly, Fluff, no angsty elevator drama, No Angst, just waiting Summary:

 They are both intently staring at the lights changing from one number to the next. Then the elevator comes to a halt and Buck assumes he’ll soon be alone. But instead of pushing away from the wall, the other man is just furrowing his brows. Then Buck realizes the door isn’t opening. His eyes flit back to the current story: Four. That’s not where any of them wanted to get off. Buck groans. “I think we’re stuck.” Buck laughs a humorless laugh. “Shit.”

Buck gets stuck in his apartment building's broken elevator with his good-looking neighbor from the sixth floor.

for @lydiabennetts whose fault it is that I wrote this fic. All the descriptions of being stuck in an elevator are based off of my own experiences. I obviously can't talk for all elevators 🤣

Read the full fic on AO3, wattpad or under the cut.

It’s late , is all Buck is thinking when he’s opening the door to his apartment building. I promised Maddie I’d be on time.

He’s cursing his boss internally.

For a second, he’s contemplating taking the stairs as he knows he’d be faster running up the stairs than waiting for the elevator. But then he’d probably have to shower and he really doesn’t have the time to do that right now.

So he trots to the elevator instead, pushing the button more than just a few times for good measure.

“I don’t think it makes the elevator come down here faster,” a male voice says and when Buck looks up there’s an amused smile curling around the lips of the man who’s coming towards him.

Buck recognizes him: About as tall as him, short brown hair, probably a few years older, decently attractive (not that Buck has been looking). He thinks he’s living a story or two below him. Buck instantly resents him for the comment.

“It doesn’t hurt either,” Buck replies and sees the other man recoil at his sour tone. It’s probably immature but Buck doesn’t care. Why should he care about what some neighbor thinks of him? All he cares about at the moment is not to get late to Maddie’s.

The elevator doors slide open and Buck pushes the button with the number eight in passing, paying his neighbor no mind. He enters just behind Buck, pressing the six. Buck’s gloating a little internally over being right. Childish, yes.

He leans back against the wall of the elevator, his neighbor doing the same on his right. There’s not much space in these city apartment elevators.

They are both intently staring at the lights changing from one number to the next. Then the elevator comes to a halt and Buck assumes he’ll soon be alone. But instead of pushing away from the wall, the other man is just furrowing his brows. Then Buck realizes the door isn’t opening. His eyes flit back to the current story: Four. That’s not where any of them wanted to get off. Buck groans.

“I think we’re stuck.”

Buck laughs a humorless laugh. “Shit.”

His neighbor steps towards the panel, presses and holds the emergency button. The tone it makes when it connects is obnoxious, but it doesn’t keep Buck’s thoughts from drifting away. He’ll be late to Maddie’s , is all he can think. Again.

“Please try putting your flat hands on the door and pushing it closed,” the person on the other side instructs them, and his neighbor steps towards the door to do as told. Buck watches but nothing happens. He sighs in frustration. Maddie will kill him.

“I’ve sent a technician your way. They’ll be at your place in around an hour to an hour and a half, depending on traffic. Is everything okay healthwise?”

His neighbor looks at Buck, who nods dumbly. He’s okay. He’s just gonna be at Maddie’s an hour late. He thumps his head against the wall behind him.

The worker disconnects and Buck’s neighbor looks at him. “Better tell that person you were rushing to that you’re late. Let me guess: Girlfriend? Parents? ”

Buck shakes his head.

“Boss?” he guesses again.

“Sister,” Buck replies and slides down to sit on the floor. The other man’s eyes follow him.

He takes out his phone, searches for Maddie’s contact and calls her.

 “You’re late because you’re stuck in the elevator?” Maddie asks him incredulously and Buck starts to relax. She’s not mad she’s… laughing at him.

“Please laugh at my misery,” he quips, which only makes her laugh more.

Shifting to a more serious tone she asks: “But you’re okay?”

Buck answers in the affirmative and then proceeds to roll his eyes when she proceeds to fuss around his well-being. His neighbor huffs a laugh at that.

“I’m hanging up now,” Buck warns her. More softly: “But I’ll come around later.”

He lowers the phone.

“How much time remains?” he asks.

His neighbor looks at his watch. “At least forty minutes.”

Buck sighs.

“You got something with you to do during that time? A book?”

Buck lifts his phone with a smirk. “The internet is right here.”

His neighbor laughs and maybe Buck doesn’t resent him anymore. He has a nice smile. Buck wouldn’t mind looking at it for a while longer.

Then he takes out his own phone. “I guess I could play some games on my phone too.”

Buck raises his eyebrows. “You don’t look like someone who plays mobile games.”

The furrowed brows from earlier are back and Buck misses his smile. “I don’t know which way to take that.”

Then he adds: “Everyone plays mobile games.”

Now it’s Buck’s turn to furrow his brows. “They do?”

His neighbor laughs again.

It’s silent for a while and Buck starts scrolling through social media. They sit in companionable silence until the voice from earlier breaks it.

“Are you still feeling well?”

They do, they assure them and they disconnect again. Another twenty to fifty minutes. Buck sighs.

The other man lowers himself to sit down on the floor next to him, putting his phone down on the ground.

“So,” he starts, “you’re gonna go to your sister after we’re out of here?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s nice that you live so close to each other.”

“Yeah, it is,” Buck agrees, “It’s nice to have her around.”

“I have two sisters myself,” his neighbor shares, “they still live in El Paso, where my parents live. I don’t see them very often.”

Buck nods. “Maddie’s only recently moved here but it’s been nice. Having family near.”

He gets a nod in reply.

Then it’s silent again.

The voice checks in with them a few more times before the elevator finally starts moving again.

“Have a nice evening with your sister,” his neighbor wishes him when he gets off on the sixth floor.

“You too,” Buck replies when the doors close.

He calls Maddie again. “The elevator’s moving. I’ll be there soon.”

   Buck’s on his way to work. He’s not running late but he also doesn’t have a whole lot of time to catch his bus. The usual.

The elevator is stopping on the sixth floor and Buck’s heart stops, thinking the elevator broke again. But then the doors open and one of his neighbors from the sixth floor is walking into the elevator. The neighbor he was actually stuck with. Buck laughs to himself.

“What’s so funny?” his neighbor asks, amusement playing around his lips. It’s the same expression that made Buck resent him initially. Buck’s come to appreciate it now.

“Ah, nothing,” Buck replies sheepishly.

“On your way to work?”

Buck nods.

“Me too.”

The doors close, and they’re moving. But not for long.

Buck looks at the lights in disbelief, then at his neighbor, who’s matching his expression. Only the scowl is new.

Buck waves at him. “You know the drill,” he says, and his neighbor gets to work on the door.

Again, nothing happens, so he presses and holds the emergency button.

The call connects and they go through all the steps again, the person on the other side reminding them that the crazy scenes they see in movies won’t happen and that they are totally safe. That the elevator can’t fall. 

A technician will be there in an hour.

“I felt safer before the reminder,” Buck comments once they disconnect.

His neighbor laughs and again, Buck is quite pleased with himself.

Then he slides off his jacket, laying it on the floor, and pushes up the sleeves of his shirt over his forearms, before sitting down on the jacket.

Buck shrugs and sits down on his side of the elevator.

His neighbor turns to him. “If this becomes a pattern it might be nice to know each other’s names. I’m Eddie.”

“Buck,” Buck replies, and “it’s not a pattern yet.”

Eddie lifts his brows.

“One’s chance,” Buck recounts, “two’s coincidence, three’s a pattern. We’re at two now.”

Eddie laughs at him, and Buck is reminded why he started liking it.

“We’re on our best way to make it a pattern though,” he points out and Buck replies with a shrug.

Eddie leans his head against the elevator wall behind him. “I’ll have to call in late to work.”

At this reminder, Buck mimics him. “Oh shit,” slips out of his mouth, “me too.”

They both get out their phones to do the calls and Buck thinks that, no matter how much it sucks to call your boss, their calls will at least pass some time. It’s better than to just sit around and do nothing.

After they finish their calls, they sit around in silence for a few minutes, fiddling with their phones and staring at the walls.

“Ah!” Buck exclaims excitedly, “I downloaded a mobile game.”

Eddie raises an eyebrow at him, questioningly. “You did?”

Sheepishly Buck ducks his head, both at his not very subtle attempt at doing conversation, as well as the confession he was about to make. “The last time we were stuck in this elevator…”

Eddie huffs a laugh at that.

“... you said everyone played them. And well, I hadn’t so far. So I did some research.”

Eddie widens his eyes incredulously. “You did research? On mobile games?”

“Shut up,” Buck laughs, ”it’s not my area of expertise.”

Eddie shakes his head.

“So I downloaded Hay Day.”

“You downloaded Hay Day.” Eddie seems to ponder over it. Then he tilts his head. “Do you like it?”

“It’s surprisingly fun,” Buck admits, “but I don’t like the long waiting times.”

“Yeah,” Eddie huffs, “that’s how they try to get your money.”

“ Right? ” Buck latches onto it. “Why make the game free if you’re gonna charge for everything anyway? Just make people pay for it up front!”

“I can’t believe people spend thousands of dollars on that.” Eddie shakes his head. “But I assume that is exactly the reason. How much does a game cost on a console? Maybe sixty dollars, possibly eighty. They can [probably] get a lot more this way.”

“Yeah. I still prefer consoles. You can keep your mobile games.”

Eddie opens his mouth as if to say something but closes it again before a word can leave it. Instead, he chuckles.

“I hope your meeting with your sister was nice the other night.”

Buck furrows his brows at that obvious change of subject but it’s not more sudden than his exclamation about mobile games earlier, so he goes along.

“It was,” he reassures Eddie, “Maddie is a big fan of wine and I’ve been getting cooking lessons, so we’ve made it a thing of proving our knowledge to each other. I’m choosing the recipe to prove I can indeed cook, and she chooses a fitting wine to prove she knows her wine.”

“Does it work?” Eddie asks and Buck shrugs.

“Most of the time.” He laughs. 

They jolt when the voice comes back through the speakers to check in with them and inform them of the technician's progress.

Buck starts laughing once they disconnect, Eddie joining in soon.

Once they calmed down, Eddie worries his lip with his teeth.

“I’m not a good cook,” he admits, “it’s one of the things my parents have always been criticizing.”

Buck shoots him a sympathetic glance, extending his legs for as far as possible in the small elevator.

“I haven’t been until recently either.” A shrug. “And if I was still talking to mine, they’d have probably bugged me about it too. But it’s been fun to learn.”

Contemplating, he tilts his head. “You say that like they criticize you a lot.” 

Eddie huffs. “Yeah. I don’t think I can do anything right in their eyes.” He shrugs. “But I don’t wanna bore you with that.”

“Oh, you aren’t,” Buck rushes. For a second, none of them speaks. “Is that why you moved so far away from them?”

“One of the reasons,” Eddie nods and Buck can’t help but nod along.

“Yeah.”

It feels shorter this time, surprising them both when the emergency worker connects to tell them the technician is there and will soon get the elevator to work again.

They get up, slowly, collecting their things, stretching their limbs. It moves, and they both exhale in relief, sharing a smile.

“Let’s not make this a pattern,” Buck says when they leave, though he has the suspicion that he doesn’t quite mean it.

Eddie laughs at that and shoots him an “I’ll see you around.” when they part ways in front of their apartment building.

    Bread, Buck thinks. Mayonnaise. Cucumber. Eggs. The elevator doors slide open and Buck goes over his grocery list another time while stepping inside and pressing the zero button. Bread. Mayonnaise. Cucumber. Eggs.

The doors close after him, then opening up again as soon as they touch the other side of the door frame.

Buck groans, stepping towards the panel again and pressing down on the “Close door” one.

It closes and Buck leans against the wall at the other end of the elevator, closing his eyes and waiting for all eight floors to pass by.

But then the door opens again and Buck really wishes he had taken the stairs today. He’s about to get out of the elevator to do so after all when he hears someone with crutches coming into the elevator and opens his eyes to see his neighbor, Eddie , coming in.

Eddie looks tense, subtly, but Buck is good at reading people and associated with the crutches he heard, he’s about to ask if Eddie’s okay.

But then he looks down and his eyes land on a small boy. His hair is longer and a lot lighter than Eddie’s but the resemblance is nevertheless unmistakable.

Before he can think better of it, he blurts out: “I didn’t know you had a son.”

Of course he didn’t. Despite being stuck together in this same elevator twice, they are still nothing more than strangers who live in the same apartment building. Neighbors who know each other’s names. Buck doesn’t know where this is coming from.

He doesn’t miss how Eddie’s jaw tenses and Buck fears he may have just ruined the tentative friendship? Acquaintanceship? That they formed during their conversations in the elevator.

“That’s Christopher,” Eddie says nevertheless, and then to the boy: “Chris, this is Buck. He lives on the eighth floor.”

“Ah, is he the one you were stuck with in here?”

“Yes,” Eddie agrees, “that’s the one.”

Buck chuckles at that. “I hope I don’t become known as the one people get stuck in elevators with.”

“You got stuck in the elevator with someone else too?” Eddie asks, his tone subdued. Buck thinks something is up with him but he doesn’t know Eddie well enough to feel confident asking about it.

“No,” Buck laughs self-consciously, “but I think I may have just jinxed it.”

As if on demand, the elevator stops moving.

Eddie’s eyes flit to the ceiling and then back to Buck. “I think you just did.”

“Are we stuck?” Christopher asks. 

“Seems like it, buddy.” Eddie is ruffling his hair and Buck’s melting because of the softness in Eddie’s voice.

Buck pushes away from the wall. “So, the usual steps.”

Eddie nods, but before he can reply, Christopher asks: “What are the usual steps?”

“May I?” Buck asks, waiting for Eddie's assent to pass the two of them and put his hands on the door. Christopher’s eyes follow him, so once he’s got his hands in place, he half-turns to look at the boy. “Now I just have to push the door closed.”

Christopher watches as Buck follows up on his words.

Buck doesn’t expect it to change anything, and in fact, it doesn’t, but Christopher’s face lights up when he asks if he can try too. So Buck makes room for him by the door and helps him push after Christopher has given his crutches to his dad to hold.

“Nothing happens,” Christopher states afterwards, disappointment evident in his voice.

“It hasn’t the last two times either. But it’s worth trying.” Buck shrugs and then looks back to Eddie, checking that he’s not overstepping. He’s happy to find a small smile playing on the other man’s lips, the tension from earlier missing in his shoulders.

Christopher motions for his crutches again and Eddie’s quickly handing them over.

When Buck’s leaning back against one of the walls again, his eyes fall on the emergency button.

“I think we should…” he starts, making Eddie follow his line of sight.

Eddie huffs a breath. “Yeah…”

Now it’s Buck who’s standing closer to the elevator panel, so it’s him who steps towards it and presses down, waiting for the call to connect.

He’s answering the usual questions: how many people are inside, if they tried closing the door, how they’re feeling. Buck thinks about how it’s starting to become a routine.

That’s when Eddie says: “I think I’m allowed to call it a pattern now.”

Buck nearly chokes on his laugh.

“No no,” he argues, “the variables have clearly changed. It’s two times I’ve been stuck in an elevator with you, and one time I’ve been stuck in an elevator with you and your son. That doesn’t make three.”

“I assume you don’t have a college degree because you clearly failed math,” Eddie quips and Buck laughs, again.

“I can’t even object to that because I did fail math in college.”

“I’m good at math,” Christopher pipes up, “I got an A on all tests this year.”

“Impressive,” Buck nods in recognition. “You like math?”

“Yes. It’s my favorite subject.”

Christopher talks about it with glee in his eyes and Eddie’s features are equally soft while listening until they contort in a way that is best described by “Oh shit” .

He fumbles for his phone while addressing Buck: “Do you have anyone you have to inform that you’ll be late?”

“Oh no,” Buck shrugs, “I’m just on my way to buy groceries.”

Eddie nods. “I’m gonna have to…” He motions to his phone.

“Yeah, sure.”

Buck and Christopher patiently wait for Eddie to talk to whoever’s on the other side of the line, describing their situation and how long it’ll probably take them.

“I’ll text you if anything changes,” he ends with. There seems to be assent from the other person because soon after they’re disconnecting.

“So,” Buck asks, “who were you supposed to meet?” He thinks of Eddie’s questions the first time they found themselves in this situation. “ Wife? ” he corrects the voice in his head with a thought to Chris.

“Ex-wife,” Eddie answers abashedly.

“Dad is bringing me to mom, so I can spend the weekend with her and grandma,” Christopher shares excitedly.

“Shannon and I divorced two years ago,” Eddie feels the need to explain, “she’s caring for her sick mother, so we decided Chris would stay with me most of the time. Makes it easier for all of us.”

Buck nods. “You seem to have a good relationship with her.”

“We’re trying,” Eddie says with a half-smile, “for Chris.”

“It’s nice,” Buck reiterates, “my sister and her ex-husband split on really bad terms. And let me tell you, that sucks. For everyone involved.”

He swallows, then adds: “So it’s really great that you’re doing the effort for him.”

It’s then that the emergency worker reconnects for the usual check-in.

Afterwards, Eddie offers his phone to Christopher to play some games.

“What are you playing?” Buck asks the boy.

“Hay Day,” Christopher replies, concentrating on the game in front of him.

Buck shoots an amused look towards Eddie who seems to have reverted to his earlier state of discomfort and avoids meeting his eye.

Weird , Buck thinks and hopes he didn’t cause it by asking Christopher about his game.

He makes another try, “Cool! I recently started playing it too.”

“Really?” Christopher looks up at him, beaming, “what’s your farm’s level?”

“Oh, I barely just started, It’s only level thirteen.”

“Mine’s level 47. Look.” Christopher turns the phone over, so Buck can look at his little digital farm.

Buck chances another glance at Eddie, now leaning back and more or less relaxed. Confusing . Buck would love to figure him out.

Conversation comes easy for the rest of their stay. A little tenseness remains in his features but other than that he’s either sharing things with Buck himself or observing Chris talking to Buck. Soon enough, they get out of the elevator, into the corridor on the ground floor. Buck gets the door and holds it open for the two of them. He sees them walking towards a car on one of the parking lots in front of the building, Chris climbing in first. Eddie turns around and looks at Buck, so Buck seizes the moment to walk up to him.

“He’s a great kid,” he says, then follows it up with, “I love kids.”

Eddie smiles. He dips his head towards his car. “I love this one.”

Buck laughs and skips away to finally get his grocery shopping done.

   “Keep the door open for me!” somebody calls out from the corridor and Buck would be lying if he said he didn’t recognize the voice. Instantly, he puts his hand in front of the sensor and, sure enough, Eddie hurries around the corner. He’s alone again and greets Buck with a smile as soon as he sees him.

“Thank you,” he pants.

“In a hurry?” Buck asks him, as the doors close behind him.

Eddie huffs. “No. I just don’t trust the elevator to come back down for me.”

Buck laughs. “Fair point.” After a contemplative dip of his head: “Probably wise, too.”

“We really need a new elevator,” Eddie sighs, “I don’t know what I’m doing with Chris if it breaks down with someone else inside and we have to take the stairs.”

It comes as a surprise to no one when the elevator comes to a halt. Buck and Eddie look at each other.

“Speak of the devil,” Buck breathes.

“I’m starting to think hell might as well actually be a broken elevator.” Eddie sighs.

Buck laughs. “Am I really that bad?”

Eddie’s eyes shoot up to his, red color flooding his cheeks. “I’d rather have met you in a different way but I do like the company.”

Then let’s meet somewhere else , Buck thinks but discards the thought as fast as it came up. He’s not even sure what he meant to offer.

Instead, he changes the topic: “Shall I try the door or do you want to?”

Eddie takes a dazed look at the door behind him before nodding in assent. “I can do it.”

Buck nods and proceeds to watch Eddie while he rolls up his shirt sleeves, puts his hands on the door and pushes it towards the opening. He leans back, expecting the elevator to stay as still as ever.

But for the first time, it actually starts moving again.

Buck nearly jumps in surprise and Eddie continues to stare blankly at the door that his hands are still touching.

Disappointment overcomes Buck and he can’t help but question where that feeling is coming from.

“We didn’t even have to call for the technician.” Eddie’s voice betrays the same feelings that Buck is feeling: confusion and a strange tint of disappointment, and Buck is relieved that he’s not the only one feeling that way.

Still, he got no time to mull that over before the elevator stops on the sixth floor. Eddie’s floor. The other man goes through the door as soon as it opens, but turns around to say goodbye.

Buck could swear Eddie is still standing in front of the elevator and looking at him when the doors are already closing. He tries not to think about it.

   “Are you sure we shouldn’t just take the stairs?” Maddie asks, eyeing the elevator warily.

Buck rolls his eyes while setting down the bags he was carrying. “Sure, if you want to carry all of this, for eight full stories , then please do.”

She sighs as Buck presses the needed button, waiting for the doors to close.

Buck hears the doors open up again after having slid halfway closed; informing him that one of his neighbors is about to step into the elevator with them.

“I don’t trust your elevator not to break down on us.”

Buck huffs. Turning around and seeing that it’s Eddie who joined them, his brows furrowed, Buck decides to reply to his sister’s statement after all. “You might be onto something.”

Buck feels her perking up at that and stepping towards the unfamiliar man.

“So you’re Eddie,” it’s not really a question, and Buck winces. Maddie, unbothered, puts down her own grocery bag and reaches out her right hand to shake his. “I’m Maddie.”

A smile breaks onto Eddie’s face as he takes it “Ah, the infamous sister.”

Maddie nods, pleased. Buck isn’t quite sure what is happening.

“Is it one of your Wine and Dine sibling evenings?” Eddie follows up.

“Yes,” Maddie points at the bag they just set down, “we just came back from the supermarket. Now it’s time to cook.”

“What are you making?”

Buck started to feel like a fifth wheel but now Eddie is unmistakably looking at him.

“Coq au vin.”

Eddie lifts his eyebrows, looking impressed. “Sounds fancy.”

Buck laughs. “We’ll see. I haven’t really tried this recipe yet.”

He means to add another joke about his amateur skills, capitalizing upon Eddie’s demeanor having shifted back to the light-hearted and relaxed state he was in the first few times they met.

He doesn’t expect Maddie to ask: “You want to join us?”

Buck’s choking on his own saliva, trying to send a death glare towards his sister without making Eddie think he dislikes the idea of spending more time with him. He doesn’t. He just doesn’t like Maddie springing this on him without any warning.

Whatever the outcome he’ll have a bone to pick with her.

Even though the color rises into Eddie’s cheek, he keeps his composure. “I’m sorry, I can’t,” he apologizes, “my son is waiting for me at home. And I wouldn’t want to impose on your family time anyway.”

Maddie nods empathetically and shrugs, “maybe next time.”

Buck is so going to kill her for this.

Of course, that’s when the elevator stops moving.

Buck just rolls his eyes while Eddie sighs in exasperation. “You spoke too soon.”

“I didn’t speak this into existence,” Buck teases, “our elevator just sucks.”

The corners of Eddie’s mouth tick up but frustration [leeches] into his smile, “Truer words were never spoken.”

Buck takes note of his sister observing them with something that can only be described as apt fascination while they go through the usual steps to alert the emergency center and get out of this elevator as soon as possible.

“You make quite the team,” she remarks when the emergency worker disconnects.

Eddie shrugs and Buck is surprised that he can recognize that the nonchalance is only pretended, “I guess that’s just a given when this has now happened the fifth time in a row.”

“And it’s always you two?”

Eddie nods and Buck knows it’s a mistake as soon as he sees Maddie’s face.

She shrugs, so faux-casual that Buck doesn’t think even a stranger could miss it, and says: “If I were you, I’d start asking myself if the universe was trying to tell me something.”

“Well, your brother ,” Eddie starts and Buck realizes in alarm that he likes this turn of events even less, “thinks it’s not really a pattern because we haven’t quite been fully stuck in here for at least three times just the two of us.”

Maddie laughs and Eddie smirks at Buck, pleased.

“Now it’s your math that’s skewed,” Buck quips back, “I’m pretty sure we reached the three times just last week.”

“Oh?” Eddie lifts his eyebrows in question, the smile still on his lips, “We didn’t even get to call the emergency call center. You don’t consider that a variable change?”

“That depends on what we define that the action is. If it’s us having to wait for a technician to free us, then yes. If it’s just the elevator breaking down while we’re inside, it’s a no.”

“You never fail to surprise me,” Eddie says and Buck doesn’t think he imagines the fondness reflected on his face and in his voice.

Before he can help himself, he’s winked at him.

Once he realizes what he’s done, he refuses to look at his sister. He can feel her smugness anyway.

“I hear you have a kid,” Maddie asks then, and Buck is happy for the change of conversation before she adds: “Buck loves kids. He’s really good with them.”

“Yeah, he met Christopher already. They have a lot in common.”

Buck gapes at him in mock-offense. “It’s Hay Day! You told me that everyone played Hay Day!”

Now it’s Eddie who winks at him and Buck doesn’t think he’ll get out of the elevator alive this time.

By the time the technician arrives, Buck’s flustered and embarrassed and more than glad to get a breathing pause from the quick succession of bantering with Eddie and teasing from his sister that he’s been subjected to for the last hour. He hopes the last part has been subtle enough for Eddie not to pick up on the full extent of it but Eddie’s attentive, so he can’t say he’s positive.

“He’s cute,” Maddie remarks as they leave the elevator, “and he definitely likes you.”

Buck tries very hard to ignore her, but she’s his sister… She knows all his weak spots.

   There’s a moving van parked in front of his apartment building when he comes home and at first, he doesn’t think anything of it. He has a lot of neighbors and he doesn’t even know most of them. It’s not uncommon for someone to move out or someone new to move in. They do it all the time.

The elevator isn’t working - to no one’s surprise - so Buck takes the stairs. He comes across quite a few people carrying boxes, some smaller, some bigger and he winces in sympathy for whoever’s moving.

When he finally arrives on the sixth floor - only two more to go- he sees that it’s Eddie directing them and his heart stops. 

As quickly as the feeling overcame him, he’s waving it away. Being stranded in their elevator together for a few times does not mean they’re friends or - anything else, really. He’s got no rights to feeling like this.

But he can’t help walking towards Eddie anyway. He figures he can at least say goodbye to him and maybe - maybe even offer his help.

His heart constricts when he sees relief washing over Eddie’s face once he sees him. 

“Buck!” he waves him over. “I hoped to catch you once more before I left.”

“You’re moving?” Buck asks and winces at how sad he sounds. You got no right to feel like this.

“Yeah,” Eddie breathes, “they refuse to repair the elevator and with Chris, it’s just - it’s not working anymore. We needed a new place with a working elevator.”

“I uh, I get that.” And Buck really does.

He pushes a smile on his face and motions to the object of their talk. “So as our good friend the elevator failed you another time, do you possibly need help carrying those boxes?”

Eddie returns his smile but shakes his head. “I wanted to talk to you about something else, actually.”

Buck thinks there’s nervousness laced into Eddie’s features but he’s so high strung himself that he doesn’t trust himself to interpret the signs correctly.

He nods, unable to speak and Eddie takes a deep breath.

“I really hope I didn’t misread things. I really liked spending time with you, even if it was just in a broken elevator.”

Buck huffs a laugh. “Yeah, we really could’ve met under better circumstances.”

“We really could’ve.”

“Point is,” Eddie continues, “I really like you. And you’re okay with Chris. And… as much as I’m looking forward to leaving this shitty elevator behind, I’m going to miss spending time with you.”

Buck nods, unable to speak, as emotions run towards his eyes. He swallows.

“Me too,” he finally manages to croak out.

“So,” and now Buck is sure he doesn’t imagine the awkwardness in Eddie’s composure, “if that is something you were interested in, I think we could go on a date. Somewhere that is not an elevator.”

“Oh God, yes,” Buck rushes out, the nerves falling off of him. Then he thinks better of it and replies a little calmer. “I’d love that.”

He starts tapping his pockets, looking for a pen but Eddie just reaches over and grabs a sharpie. Buck feels a little bad for writing his number on the side of a cardboard box but Eddie smiles at him and wipes away all his thoughts.

He does end up asking if he can help again and Eddie gives him the box with his own number on it with the words: “Make sure it’s stashed away properly.”

Buck winks at him and bounds down six flights of stairs.

Also find this fic on AO3 and wattpad.

[bywordofaphrodite]

Book Reviews 3&4: Nancy Drew and the Lilac Inn by Carolyn Keene & Trixie Belden and the Secret of the Mansion by Julie Campbell Tatham

This review’s theme is girl detective books ! Audience age range: roughly 12 and up !

Just as Enid Blyton’s books made me fall in love with magical creatures and faraway lands, detective novels became an obsession during late primary school, with classic lead female characters Nancy Drew and Trixie Belden being my absolute favourites. My school had an extremely small and limited library, and the Nancy Drew books were one of the only decent series there- even with a great chunk of the collection missing. My mother introduced me to Trixie Belden, which she insisted was better than Nancy Drew, though I refused to listen to such a declaration at the time.

Now, though? My opinions have definitely changed.

Nostalgic review

Rating: ★★★★★

From memory, Nancy Drew is a clever, beautiful and well-off girl in her late teens, living with her lawyer father Carson Drew and her housekeeper Hannah Gruen, who has looked after Nancy since her mother’s passing when she was only three. I always enjoyed the dynamic between Nancy and her father, as it was similar to mine with my father, also a lawyer- Carson doesn’t step in unless Nancy needs his help, but he does assist in legal advice when necessary. I also loved Nancy’s friendship with the cousins Bess and George, and liked that her relationship with her ‘special friend’ Ned never got in the way of solving mysteries or hanging out with her friends (‘hanging out’ was practically code for sleuthing in these novels anyway). Overall, my memories of this series amount mostly to exciting searches for missing heiresses, finding beautiful jewels and battling crocodiles in Florida.

On the opposite side of the spectrum is Trixie Belden- rough-around-the-edges thirteen year-old from a poor family living with both her parents and three brothers. Where Nancy has a housekeeper, lives in an affluent suburban neighbourhood and never wants for money, Trixie lives on the outskirts of a small town, both her parents work, and she is constantly reminded of how important it is to work for money as they do not have much of it to spare on mindless things. Nancy is a fairly solitary character, often working alone unless her friends show up, and even then she does most of the legwork; Trixie is also the main sleuth in her series, but her best friend Honey is almost always at her side. While the mysteries were great, the warm friendships in Trixie Belden novels are what I remember best.

Regardless of whatever my thoughts may be after rereading books from these two series, I’ve never ceased referencing either of them and my love of the mystery genre still holds fast even now.

Nancy Drew and the Lilac Inn Review

Post-read: ★★

Synopsis: girl detective Nancy Drew is called to solve a series of odd goings on at her newly engaged friend Emily’s inn, in what seems to be an attempt to prevent Emily and her fiancé from opening. Disaster strikes when her aunt retrieves Emily’s inheritance of diamonds- Emily’s last hope to cover the costs of fixing up the inn- and they are swiftly stolen within the hour. Nancy vows to catch the thief and the intruder and save Emily’s inn from failure.

I struggled in choosing which Nancy Drew book to reread for this review, and after reading through multiple rankings lists I decided on the Lilac Inn because it ranked highly on every list. I now wish I had just gone with Crocodile Island anyway… at least there was something snappy about it. In between the bomb, the theft, the doppelganger, the underwater fake-shark, the kidnapping, the spear-gun attack- I think I’ve made my point. There’s far too much going on, and if it was well-written I would be okay with it, really I would, but it’s all so blandly articulated that half the time I had to reread just to make sure I’d read correctly what nonsense was occurring at any given time.

Straight out the gate, I just want to say how shocking the writing was- that’s shockingly bad, by the way. If I thought Enid Blyton’s work was stunted, well, this was far, far worse. Especially since it lacks the excuse of being written for young children. It was incredibly difficult to push through in the slower parts, and I must admit I basically skim-read the lead up parts to the action sequences (which were incredibly minimal compared to the gnashing crocodile teeth I longed for, but alas). Sadly for me, Bess (my old fave), George and Ned were not present at all, and I cannot remember if they had actually been introduced that early in the series because they are not mentioned once.

I did really like the concept of the story, and the element of Nancy having a creepy doppelganger posing as Nancy to cause mischief (she has several over the series) was fun, even more so that said doppelganger was an actual actress and quite ruthless in her attempts to steal Emily’s diamonds- I love a morally-corrupt pretty female villain as much as the next person, after all. There is a romance teased between Nancy and a young man staying at the inn, a young man who continuously seems to be in the same room as the diamond thief messing with Emily’s inn, but ultimately both never amount to anything. This hardly surprised me given the book is written in the thirties, and Ned and Nancy never do anything but attend dances together the entire series, but still, come on. He could’ve at least stolen the diamonds to add some spice to his useless appearances.

It’s possible that were a very talented scriptwriter to take this book and make it into a movie it could work out a lot better than it does on paper- provided the casting was done well. The sets would be interesting, and I think the creepiness of the ‘ghost’ in the orchard and the diving scenes would translate a lot better on camera. Normally I’m not one to nominate live actions of novels for no reason, but this thought kept recurring as I struggled to get through the writing.

Characters who aged well: Nancy is smart and weirdly good at everything (they don’t explain why she knows how to do all the things she does, but diving and freeing herself from bonds seems to be easy enough for her. Given male characters are always allowed to be perfect without training, I’ll allow it). For a female character written in the 30s she has plenty of agency and does not once rely on a man’s help to do anything, which is why I always enjoyed her books. Carson Drew also aged well- not present that often, but useful without being interfering, and his trust in his daughter is refreshing. As for the other main characters in the series… they didn’t even show up in this book so I can’t really comment on this.

Characters who aged badly: plot twist- I’m adding Nancy here too. She is a little too perfect, too polished, a common criticism by modern readers, though at the time of publication was her main selling point. Additionally, earlier editions of the series featured racist comments made by Nancy, although those have since been taken out. However, the publisher and creator of the first books was not a very pleasant person, so I find myself able to separate that from Nancy’s character.

Favourite scene/quote: ‘The article went on to tell that Nancy had just completed a course in advanced skin diving in the Muskoka River, and that she had finished first in total points in the twenty student group’.

I find this quote amusing because there is really no need for Nancy to be good at every single thing, and this is a good example of the many times throughout the series that Nancy is the ‘best’ at a very random activity that is often never mentioned again.

As for my favourite scene, though nothing interesting actually ends up happening in the orchard, I did like the eerie setting of Nancy dressing up as a ghost and chilling behind a tree for a while (okay it was partially eerie, mostly just oddly comedic). The actress/impostor posing as Nancy provided a few good scenes, too, but for the main villain of the story she was hardly in as many scenes as she should’ve been in.

After doing some research, I discovered something most interesting: Nancy was written with significantly more character by the original ghost-writer of the series, a woman named Mildred Wirt Benson, who wrote Nancy ‘embodying qualities that she wished she had’- but the publisher Edward Stratemeyer did not want a bold female character, and she was rewritten with similar dialogue but now accompanied with ‘dainty’ verbs to sweeten her words. Stratemeyer was also known for his beliefs that women belonged in the kitchen, and the only reason he created Nancy in the first place was to capitalise on young female readers who wanted their own equivalent of the Hardy Boys.

With all of this in mind, it’s very possible that the Nancy from my memories is a mix of the older and new editions, which allowed Nancy more personality as the series went on, no longer needing to confirm to the sexist expectations of the 1930s. And despite these origins, Nancy Drew aged quite well as an unintended feminist icon: she solves her mysteries alone and rarely needs Ned’s help at all; in fact, most of the time, Nancy is the one doing the saving. It’s nice to think that, almost one hundred years later, Mildred Wirt Benson’s version of Nancy is the one being kept alive, both on paper and onscreen.

Trixie Belden and the Secret of the Mansion Review

Post-read: ★★★★★

Synopsis: energetic teen Trixie Belden’s boring town of Sleepyside is turned upside down when a rich new family moves onto the property opposite her own, an old miser winds up in hospital and his empty mansion is suddenly inhabited by a runaway boy, and a missing fortune is waiting to be uncovered.

Whewww.

This was a massive breath of fresh air after the Lilac Inn! After being so unimpressed by both Blyton and Keene’s writing, Tatham’s writing restored my faith in my childhood judgement. Her words flowed well and the conversation between the characters was very natural. The blank slate characters in the Lilac Inn were showed up by the animated and multiple-dimensional characters in the Secret of the Mansion, and I never once felt the need to rush myself through the chapters.

Unlike my method of choosing a Nancy Drew book, I simply decided on reading the first Trixie book for this review. While I almost went for a later book where all the main characters had been introduced, I couldn’t remember how Trixie first met Honey and Jim, which I felt was pretty important to her character. I’m very glad I did. Even in the first book, Trixie endures so much character development (contrasting very strongly with Nancy’s flawless existence). Longing for a friend, Trixie takes herself up the hill to the newly habited mansion to introduce herself and her little brother Bobby, who she is babysitting to earn money to buy herself a horse. There she meets rich girl Honey Wheeler, a sickly and sheltered but sweet girl of the same age, whose parents pay little attention to her. Things fall into place with all the expected luck of a teen heroine- Honey’s governess is a lovely woman who wants Honey to befriend Trixie and offers to look after Bobby, and of course Honey’s stables are now filled with horses and a stable hand who can teach her to ride.

But for every easy thing comes an opportunity for Trixie to grow: she comes to admire Honey’s bravery after previously being irritated by her fear of trying outdoor activities; she ignores the stable hand’s orders not to ride the stallion and falls as a result, leading to her having to work to regain his trust and also being taught the valuable lesson to recognise her own limits; finally, as much as Trixie hates looking after little Bobby, when he is bitten by a snake Trixie is resourceful and quick on her feet in helping him, keeping him well enough until a doctor and other adults arrive.

Rather like the Lilac Inn, the mystery of the story centres on the hidden will to a supposed fortune of the elderly man who lived in the old mansion not far from Honey’s new home. On a whim, Trixie nags Honey into accompanying her to snoop around the building, leading to their discovery of the old man’s nephew Jim hiding there. By the end of the book, the girls have helped Jim to find the will and safely escape his abusive step-father. Later in the series, Jim is adopted by the Wheeler family, and also becomes Trixie’s primary love interest (I love that this relationship is not at all rushed either).

The reading level for the Trixie Belden series is listed as grade 3 and above, but I had no problems being completely involved and intrigued by the storyline and characters as a twenty-three year old. I think I’ll continue to read the series on my own time, as I always enjoyed the full character line-up developed after a few books in.

Characters who aged well: Trixie! If my praise during this review didn’t make clear enough, she’s a wonderful character with great development. Honey and Jim are also solid characters, and Bobby and Trixie’s parents are well-written too- supportive and kind, but realistic concerning raising Trixie to be a responsible kid. Also going to add that Trixie’s group of best friends- self-named the Bob-Whites of the Glen and consisting of her two older brothers Brian and Mart, Honey, Jim and the later additions of Dan and Di- have a strong presence and very distinct personalities when they show up in the later novels.

Characters who aged badly: nobody! All the side characters were well done, including the villain. He wasn’t over-the-top by any means, his abuse of Jim was both emotion and physical in a realistic manner that concerned the adults around him enough to comment on it without actually taking proper action to help him, as it often goes. I appreciated the author’s ability to write a male character the vulnerable one, to recognise what was wrong about the situation, and to gladly accept help from two girls younger than him.

Favourite scene/quote: “‘serves him right,’ Trixie said, wiping her grimy hands on her rolled-up blue jeans. ‘The mean old miser. You should have left him lying in the driveway, Dad.’”

An earlier quote in the book, this sets the tone for Trixie’s character: she’s messy, no-nonsense and cheeky. For a female character written in 1948 I found this quite amusing. There’s none of the internalised misogyny that often popped up in ‘tomboy’ characters of the time: Trixie just is what she is, and she’s great.

A standout scene would be Trixie sucking the venom from her brother’s snakebite to save him, and the chapters focused on the developing friendship with Honey and Jim while the two teach Trixie how to handle horses is also enjoyable.

Overall verdict:

My mother was right, Trixie Belden is far better than Nancy Drew in every category I can think of. I wish that the series had gained the popularity that Nancy Drew did, because it would make for a fun movie or television show. There is an eighteen year gap between the publication of the first novel from both series, and both heroines saw many more books written after that. Nancy Drew is so persistent, however, that multiple movies and even a recent CW show have been made, though it is not very accurate to the books at all. Even now, modern-day setting Nancy Drew mysteries are still being released under the Carolyn Keene pseudonym, showing her unending mythical status.

I still love Nancy, bad writing and all, but in all fairness, Miss Trixie deserves a cut of the nostalgic hype surrounding the girl-detective genre. I’d also like to bask in the poetic justice of Nancy not only remaining a more iconic character than the Hardy Boys, but also becoming more feminist as time goes on. I’m sure the publisher is rolling in his grave!

[epicspheal]

Hey! I remember a while back I read a fanfic of yours regarding twilight wings- the unofficial Raihan episode. In it their was an oc of yours, and I was wondering if you have any more? I like making oc's myself and it's fun to see other people's ideas and stories.

Hi there!  You have...opened the floodgates (in a good way). I have quite a few champion OCs. I’ll focus on the various champion OCs I have since I’ve mentioned this on my blog before the champions of Pokemon remain my favorite class of characters as they have so much potential as we’ve seen with Leon in SwSh. This is going to be a somewhat long post as I have 5 champions to talk about (plus there are pics here, most of them commissions from some very talented artists that I’ve tagged as I can’t draw)

(There’s Marsha and her starter/ace Rosemary the Audino with @hayleyb100 ‘s character Richard. Thank you HayleyB for drawing this! And if you guys haven’t please check out her amazing art and stories)

I’ll start off with the OC you mentioned in your ask...Marsha (full name Marsha Miller). She’s the Alolan champion that we see in my Conviction, the Raihan twilight wings episode (also shameless plug for my fic). Like many champions she’s a mixed type trainer, but she does have a slight preference for fairy types on her team. Unlike the SM/USUM protagonist, she actually hails from Unova but her family is military (her father used to serve under Lt. Surge before becoming a lieutenant himself) and so she’s lived in Unova, Kanto, and Alola. Before she ended up becoming Alola’s champion, she was content with being head of the cheer squad at her high school while in Kanto (before her family announced moving again and she was needless to say, quite upset at the prospect of throwing away her cheer captain title). Back when she lived in Unova, she would often stop by her grandparents herbalist shop to learn about various medicinal herbs.

I hint to this a bit in my Convictions fic when Marsha asks Raihan a question about him becoming champion elsewhere, but Marsha has a huge bout of imposter syndrome from being the first ever champion of Alola as she doesn’t feel like she measures up to the legends like Red or Blue or known superstar champions like Leon and Cynthia. A lot of her character growth comes after she wins the title as she learns to work with Kukui to help build up the Alola League and make it famous. Luckily she happens to be a pretty friendly, if somewhat reserved character making it easy for her to befriend the likes of Leon and Raihan (and she also gets them to be a couple). Both Leon and Raihan give her tips they’ve learned from being in Galar to help boost the reputation of the Alola League. Back in Alola she is good friends with Mallow, Plumeria and Mina as they often visit Mallow’s restaurant to eat and catch up. She ends up being a big sister friend to Gladion, Lillie and Hau (being in her late teens when she first met the kids) as well as Iris when she meets her at the champion’s conference. 

(Credit to @roseltheteacup for this amazing sugimori style artpiece of Calla. Please check out rosel’s artwork as well) 

The next one is my probably my most well-developed champion OC and my version of Victor/Gloria...Calla Okoro. She’s the Sword Hero of Galar to go with Hop’s Shield Hero. Calla is a baby genius with an IQ of 162 (so she’d qualify for MENSA in the real world) and graduated college at the age of 12 with a degree in chemistry, a year before she ends up taking on the gym challenge. Her favorite type is poison and she decided that she would take on the gym challenge by using only Poison types, refusing a starter from Leon to train up her Budew and other poison types she found along the way. 

Her knowledge of poison types would become very useful towards the end of the challenge and Eternatus awakening and possessing Leon , however this girl struggled so much at the beginning as the poison types she caught don’t really get good until they evolve. It was also a testament to having book knowledge of Pokemon and type advantages doesn’t equate to automatically winning a battle. She struggled especially at Kabu’s gym, resulting in her first official loss (outside of losing her second battle to Hop at Magnolia’s house due to his Rookidee being super effective against her Budew nicknamed Sabi). Calla is persistent though and patient so she worked with her team developing a killer toxic stall strategy (that helped her be the first person to take Leon down). As champion Calla uses her position to promote science and eventually goes back to school to get PhD, becoming the first Galar champion to also be a professor. When Calla is not doing Pokemon battles or giving science demos, she tends to enjoy doing backflip competitions with Gordie or rocking out at Piers’ concerts with Marnie and Hop and Bede (Bede will deny hanging out with them) 

(thank you RPG Picrew, I have yet to get official commissioned work of him done) 

This is Jabari Revere, my Kalos champion OC and part of the Kalos 5. I’m still working on his backstory and personality as I replay Pokemon Y (I tend to replay the games for my champion OCs to build up their teams and get a sense for the personality). Jabari is a water type champion who enjoys his days swimming in the ocean and surfing on his Mantine, nicknamed Monterey. Like Serena from the anime he is a bit at odds with his mother Grace for wanting him to take up the family tradiiton of Rhyhorn racing. However unlike anipoke!Serena, he did have a goal of training water type Pokemon with the aim of becoming a water type champion just like Wallace from Hoenn. Jabari is definitely an easy going fellow, which helps him befriend Serena, Tierno, Trevor and Shauna as well as Grant and Clemont. Unlike my Galar champion Calla, he is more willing to use Pokemon other than water types, such as when he fought Korrina at the Mega Evolution tower using the Lucario who was attracted to his aura, or when he rescued Yveltal from Team flare and let it get revenge on Lysandre 

(this piece was done by @snowythesoft aka ChibiGirl! Thank you again for this and also please check out her art as well)

Yes, you’re looking at a robot. His name is Valen and is actually my first non-self insert Pokemon OC. After watching the first Pokemon movie and seeing Mewtwo be a Pokemon trainer, and also after watching the Watson computer on Jeopardy, I came up with the idea of “what if someone made a robot as a Pokemon trainer”. Hence Valen, the world champion of my version of the Pokemon World

Created by Molayne and Sophocles at the request of Red and Blue as a new fixture for the battle tree, Valen quickly began to learn from the some of the strongest trainers how to battle (with a frequent opponent being Marsha as she needed someone who could challenge her in battle). Once he figured out how to consistently beat the likes of Red, Blue and Marsha in battle...it was a wrap. Valen travelled to every known region and soon became the undisputed most powerful trainer in the world defeating every last living champion. He even took on Leon, Cynthia and Red in a triple battle and won. Despite his absolutely monstrous skill Valen is an absolute sweetheart and always compliments his opponents in battle. He also loves bowties, with his first gift being the red bowtie he sports from Sophocles do not touch or harm that bowtie if you value your life, it’s one of the few things that will actually piss off this gentle giant of a robot.

(credits to the VillainSona Picrew)

So this is my final non-self insert champion OC,  His Royal Highness Jack, Duke of Stow-On-Side. In a discord server and on some messages here on tumblr, I’ve described Jack as the unholy combination of Caillou and Jack the Ripper.  Jack hails from a disgraced family of aura guardians who learned that they could use their aura powers to create shadow Pokemon. 150 years prior to the main Sword and Shield story line his family managed to beat back the Hammerlocke Royal family (aka the great Raihan’s family) from Stow-On-Side and Ballonlea to claim the two towns for themselves. When Peony stepped down as champion Jack ended up taking the champion title. Now Jack is actually a legitimately powerful trainer without the need to shadowfy his Pokemon, but he does so anyway to ensure absolute control and to hopefully make his royal family the absolute rulers of Galar (his actions would years later inspire Sordward and Shieldbert, the Dukes of Motostoke). He even bribed gym leaders to be extra difficult on challengers he deemed to be a threat (so Leon, Raihan, Nessa and Sonia got hit hard with this).

Jack’s misdeeds are pretty vast. The reason why Sonia is so unconfident in her battling skills? Jack ambushed her in the wild area and destroyed her in a match while mocking her. Why does Leon have that perfect image as champion? He’s trying to build back the reputation the Galar league has after Jack nearly destroyed it’s rep on the world stage with his actions. Why are Leon and Sonia so insistent on you focusing on the gym challenge and leaving the problems to the adults? The adults during their gym challenge were either on Jack’s side or were actually useless against him and his shadow Pokemon. To quote my friends in an rp server I’m in “Jack is the absolute worst”  So that’s all of the champion OCs I have. As I continue to write more fanfic will definitely see all of them pop up in various stories. 

[sofwrites]

The shout out was SO cute. I cannot tell you how honoured I am that you mentioned me 💕

Sutton was also my fav character from the show, and when it came to the choices they made with her... well, let's just say that I have questions but even more so I have complaints

Girl, I'm so relieved to find out the reference wasn't in this one. I went full clown swiftie looking for clues that aren't there with this one. New Year like the song??? Them facetiming because "a tiny screen's the only place I see you now"??? Benji was previously mentioned but maybe I didn't pay enough attention then??? I even read the chapter twice because the first time I did so was late and I figured maybe it passed over my head eventhough I'm a radar for all things related to her. I'm already excited about the next chapter, but knowing the reference is going to be there will be an extra treat for me. You don't have to, but I cannot explain how much it means that you go out of your way to include it. That's so lovely of you 💕💕💕

Her lyrics do fit Penelope so well. The thing about Mr. Perfectly Fine is that I can't listen to it or even read the name of the song without remembering Sophie Turner's insta story. That's when I snort. Even when you associated it in the fic with the incident, I was still amused. Blessed be female friendships

I love mutual pining and angst, as long as there's a happy ending. I'm not suffering in vain. Possibly the only fic that I've read that ends in tragedy, was the one you wrote about Colin being too late. It made me feel things, mostly sad ones. Even at that, I thought you did a great job at exploring the plot, that could have been a possible outcome if someone else would have courted her. I think I've read it like three times? But then i go and revist fluffy fics to make myself feel better. You know, for self care purposes

Your efforts not only show, but they also pay off. The fic is so enjoyable and it's very impressive how you manage to pack a whole plot on short text messages. I love it so much. As for rereading your fics, the thing is, they bring me comfort, WCBCR especially. Polin, in case it wasn't obvious, is my fav couple of the books and your fic is what I would have liked the book to be like. I mentioned it in a previous ask, that for me it just makes more sense than the original story (no disrespec to JQ). I go through all the emotions when I read it and aren't we all in need of that? I'm truly thankful that you continously decide to share your talent with us ordinary mortals, we are not worthy 💕💕💕

Now, on today's episode of me projecting my life on your fics, I also picked up crochet and am watching reruns, just that in my case is of Teen Wolf. The only thing I'm lacking is a cute guy to be in love with me. I'm cool with that though, we're still in a pandemic and I don't want people to get near me

AND YESSS! WHAT? IS? SHE? PLAYING? AT? This is the chaos era, but I'll enjoy it as long as she keeps giving us stuff. Between her releases and your updates, the serotonin won't stop coming my way

[I COMPLETELY FORGOT TO SAY I DID CATCH THE LIZZIE MCGUIRE REFERENCE. YOUR FICS ARE WHAT DREAMS ARE MADE OF (I had to, you know I had to)]

- YOU ARE SO CUTE. These messages give me life and you're just the best

- yeah Sutton and Richard were so good that they just decided to make up problems for them and just... fixed it without actually fixing anything it was rude

- no I'm so sorry you had the stress of going through it again!! I even read through it because I was like "wait what was the reference I put in there" cause I wrote my tags so long ago 💀this certain reference is from one of my favorite TS songs and it's such a Polin song and I know you won't miss it!

- Sophie Turner posting a screenshot of Mr. Perfectly Fine was iconic. Miss queen is iconic for that and I love any woman who clowns her husband

- I can't believe that the only fic without a happy ending you've read is mine AND that you've read it multiple times... Like oh my god that's so overwhelmingly heartwarming. I actually love that story and don't mind at all when people don't want to read it (hence why I was so clear in the tags), but knowing people like it even despite the ending is so wnejfnasjkdfnskfd

- STOP you're honestly so kind I'm basically crying while reading your message. I wrote WCBCR so completely on a whim and that the fact that it became 100k is maddening and even more maddening is that people use it as their comfort fic. ACK I constantly am going between missing writing it and being so relieved that it's done

- no literally re: Penelope spending her life in quarantine is literally just what I did. I watched Love Island and learned how to crochet. However, I too was lacking a cute male (and a cat 😭)

- she's actually crazy and being a stan is so tiring and I'm not even one of the ones that deciphers her codes

- OH THE LIZZIE MCGUIRE REF. I actually went to Italy 2 years ago and basically word-for-word copied the Instagram caption from my own post 🤪ANYWAY ILY FOR CATCHING THAT

[welllpthisishappening]

Welllp These Are Books: the June 2021 Edition

I have read a lot of books this month. That should be stated upfront. Just an absolute metric ton of books. Some real good, some not-so good, some inadvertently hysterical. Also, I made that BINGO board. Because, like, you ever have a total crisis of writing-confidence and ignore that potential freakout and the tendency of your coworkers to miss deadlines by reading every free Amazon sports romance you can find? And several full YA series? In one month? No? My experiences are not universal, I understand. Anyway, there’s thoughts and opinions and spoilers under the cut. Everyone read the Once Upon a Con series, I’m begging you.

READ THIS SERIES! PLEASE! EVERY BOOK WAS SO CUTE! EVERYONE IN EVERY BOOK WAS SO CUTE! THE FANDOM STUFF DID NOT GIVE ME SECOND-HAND EMBARRASSMENT!

Geekerella by Ashley Poston Part romance, part love letter to nerd culture, and all totally adorbs, Geekerella is a fairy tale for anyone who believes in the magic of fandom. Geek girl Elle Wittimer lives and breathes Starfield, the classic sci-fi series she grew up watching with her late father. So when she sees a cosplay contest for a new Starfield movie, she has to enter. The prize? An invitation to the ExcelsiCon Cosplay Ball, and a meet-and-greet with the actor slated to play Federation Prince Carmindor in the reboot. With savings from her gig at the Magic Pumpkin food truck (and her dad’s old costume), Elle’s determined to win…unless her stepsisters get there first. Teen actor Darien Freeman used to live for cons—before he was famous. Now they’re nothing but autographs and awkward meet-and-greets. Playing Carmindor is all he’s ever wanted, but the Starfield fandom has written him off as just another dumb heartthrob. As ExcelsiCon draws near, Darien feels more and more like a fake—until he meets a girl who shows him otherwise. 

The Princess and the Fangirl by Ashley Poston Imogen Lovelace is an ordinary fangirl on an impossible mission: to save her favorite Starfield character, Princess Amara, from being killed off. On the other hand, the actress who plays Amara wouldn’t mind being axed. Jessica Stone doesn’t even like being part of the Starfield franchise—and she’s desperate to leave the intense scrutiny of fandom behind. Though Imogen and Jess have nothing in common, they do look strangely similar to one another—and a case of mistaken identity at ExcelsiCon sets off a chain of events that will change both of their lives. When the script for the Starfield sequel leaks, with all signs pointing to Jess, she and Imogen must trade places to find the person responsible. The deal: Imogen will play Jess at her signings and panels, and Jess will help Imogen’s best friend run their booth. But as these “princesses” race to find the script leaker—in each other’s shoes—they’re up against more than they bargained for. From the darker side of fandom to unexpected crushes, Imogen and Jess must find a way to rescue themselves from their own expectations...and redefine what it means to live happily ever after. 

Bookish and the Beast by Ashley Poston In this third book of the Once Upon a Con series, Rosie Thorne is feeling stuck—on her college application essays, in her small town, and on that mysterious General Sond cosplayer she met at ExcelsiCon. Most of all, she’s stuck in her grief over her mother’s death. Her only solace was her late mother’s library of rare Starfield novels, but even that disappeared when they sold it to pay off hospital bills. On the other hand, Vance Reigns has been Hollywood royalty for as long as he can remember—with all the privilege and scrutiny that entails. When a tabloid scandal catches up to him, he’s forced to hide out somewhere the paparazzi would never expect to find him: Small Town USA. At least there’s a library in the house. Too bad he doesn’t read. When Vance’s and Rosie’s paths collide, sparks do not fly. But as they begrudgingly get to know each other, their careful masks come off—and they may just find that there’s more risk in shutting each other out than in opening their hearts.

— I cannot possibly overstate what an absolute delight this series was. Cute and sweet and adorable. Like rot your teeth sweet with romances that my high-school self would have swooned over. (I would have been so in love with Darien Freeman as a 16 year old, it’s not even funny. Also, I would have been obsessed with Starfield.) Let’s be honest, my current self swooned quite a lot. Reading these books genuinely felt like a love letter to fandom. To the good and bad and trashy parts of it, and it made my heart swell thinking about these fictional kids and the community they found and how much they learned and then they FELL IN LOVE and, like, not to sound like an after-school special, but: THE REP IN THESE BOOKS?!?? HOLY S H I T. So good. So goddamn good. And not, like, shoved to the side. Like, Jess falls in love with a girl. And it gets its swoon-worthy moment as much as anyone else. Plus, bi-librarian dad who wears suspenders??? Sign. Me. Up. Twisting the fairy tales into the stories also worked really well in my opinion. Honestly my only gripe was that Darien found a cell phone number in the white pages, but, like, everything else was a joy. Please read these books. I promise they will make you smile.

IN WHICH I CAN NEVER TURN DOWN A BEAUTY AND THE BEAST ALTERNATE UNIVERSE

Cruel Beauty by Rosamund Hodge Betrothed to the evil ruler of her kingdom, Nyx has always known that her fate was to marry him, kill him, and free her people from his tyranny. But on her seventeenth birthday when she moves into his castle high on the kingdom's mountaintop, nothing is what she expected—particularly her charming and beguiling new husband. Nyx knows she must save her homeland at all costs, yet she can't resist the pull of her sworn enemy—who's gotten in her way by stealing her heart.

— Yo. YO. Everyone in this book was horrible! And it was wonderful! I figured out the twist approximately point two seconds after the potential for a twist was possibly introduced and it did not diminish my enjoyment of this book for one second. I am such a sucker for any Beauty and the Beast AU, but this was way different than anything I’d read before and Nyx was a blood-thirsty terror and I loved her. The magic and the world building was fascinating in that I really did not expect Greek gods and goddess, but it was also a welcome turn in a weird, huh, that’s interesting sort of way. And the banter was a-plus, top tier. Even when they were snarking at each other. Especially when they were snarking at each other. (Still a pretty quick turn from enemies to lovers, but I’m willing to overlook that based almost solely on the snark.) Plus, the castle was fascinating. And there were more twists aside from the main twist, none of which I figured out. All of which I gasped over. The end was like—chef’s kiss, fantastic. I would like a novel-length sequel to tell me how everything worked out.

...BUT THE LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD ONE WASN’T AS GOOD

Crimson Bound by Rosamund Hodge When Rachelle was fifteen she was good—apprenticed to her aunt and in training to protect her village from dark magic. But she was also reckless—straying from the forest path in search of a way to free her world from the threat of eternal darkness. After an illicit meeting goes dreadfully wrong, Rachelle is forced to make a terrible choice that binds her to the very evil she had hoped to defeat.Three years later, Rachelle has given her life to serving the realm, fighting deadly creatures in a vain effort to atone. When the king orders her to guard his son Armand—the man she hates most—Rachelle forces Armand to help her hunt for the legendary sword that might save their world. Together, they navigate the opulent world of the courtly elite, where beauty and power reign and no one can be trusted. And as the two become unexpected allies, they discover far-reaching conspiracies, hidden magic . . . and a love that may be their undoing. Within a palace built on unbelievable wealth and dangerous secrets, can Rachelle discover the truth and stop the fall of endless night?

— As much as I loved Cruel Beauty, I was like ehhhh on this one. Which is part Little Red Riding Hood (although that seems like a stretch, honestly) and part The Girl With No Hands, which is a fairy tale I have literally never heard of before. Rachelle was just—sorta whiny? Which, y’know, she was cursed and had fucked up her entire life, so fair, but also...annoying. I kept reading mostly to try and understand what the FUCK was going on with the magic. I like to consider myself a relatively intelligent person who can understand most YA novels, but this one was tough to keep track of. Like, sure, the imagery of the Dark Forest was cool, but also what is a Gladspring? I’m still not sure I know. Also, this kind of dragged in some places. Lots of patrolling the palace (whining about life) and not enough magic-fighting or establishing any sort of relationship between Rachelle and Armand. Which just sort of happened? Amidst, approximately, twenty-four different twists that were admittedly cool, but also felt like they came out of nowhere. Everything that happened in Cruel Beauty made sense. Most of what happened here felt like it was shoehorned in for shock value.

YOU WANT MORAL AMBIGUITY? BOY HAVE I GOT MORAL AMBIGUITY FOR YOU. IN GODDAMN SPADES.

The Firebird Series by Claudia Gray Marguerite Caine's physicist parents are known for their groundbreaking achievements. Their most astonishing invention, called the Firebird, allows users to jump into multiple universes—and promises to revolutionize science forever. But then Marguerite's father is murdered, and the killer—her parent's handsome, enigmatic assistant Paul— escapes into another dimension before the law can touch him.Marguerite refuses to let the man who destroyed her family go free. So she races after Paul through different universes, always leaping into another version of herself. But she also meets alternate versions of the people she knows—including Paul, whose life entangles with hers in increasingly familiar ways. Before long she begins to question Paul's guilt—as well as her own heart. And soon she discovers the truth behind her father's death is far more sinister than she expected.

— Guys. GUYS. These books, oh my G O D. Little known fact about me, but I am trash for cross-dimensional soulmates. The concept of “we’ll find each other anywhere” is one of my favorites, so I was so psyched about these books. And for awhile that’s what I thought I was going to get out of them. But. BUT! What I actually got was something, not totally different, but not entirely great, either. The problem here was that when anyone used one of the Firebird devices to jump dimensions they TOOK OVER THE BODY THEY JUMPED INTO. So, like, that consciousness got shoved to the side while whatever prime!person just took over. Living that body’s life. In a different dimension. And that’s kinda fucked up, right??? Brings in all sorts of questions about consent and morality and let me tell you, guys, this YA series DID NOT ADDRESS A SINGLE ONE OF THEM. Which is also super fucked up!! So, like, Marguerite is just bouncing around dimensions taking over people’s bodies and lives and leaving this, frankly, trail of destruction in her wake. And as if that wasn’t enough!!! In the second book Paul’s soul gets, like, split and she’s got to round up the pieces through dimensions, meeting all sorts of Pauls who are occasionally kind of shit people and he eventually just, like, CANNOT COPE. Seriously, I could not stop reading these. Partially for the moral ambiguity. Partially because I could not figure out why Paul loved Marguerite. Also, capitalism was the ultimate villain. AS IT SHOULD BE, REALLY.

CREEPY FAE WERE KIND OF CREEPY AND THAT’S NOT BAD, BUT LIKE MAYBE THIS WASN’T A GOOD BOOK?

An Enchantment of Ravens by Margaret Rogerson Isobel is an artistic prodigy with a dangerous set of clients: the sinister fair folk, immortal creatures who cannot bake bread or put a pen to paper without crumbling to dust. They crave human Craft with a terrible thirst, and Isobel’s paintings are highly prized. But when she receives her first royal patron—Rook, the autumn prince—she makes a terrible mistake. She paints mortal sorrow in his eyes—a weakness that could cost him his life. Furious, Rook spirits her away to his kingdom to stand trial for her crime. But something is seriously wrong in his world, and they are attacked from every side. With Isobel and Rook depending on each other for survival, their alliance blossoms into trust, then love—and that love violates the fair folks’ ruthless laws. Now both of their lives are forfeit, unless Isobel can use her skill as an artist to fight the fairy courts. Because secretly, her Craft represents a threat the fair folk have never faced in all the millennia of their unchanging lives: for the first time, her portraits have the power to make them feel.

— I’ve seen this book mentioned a lot. As good. And it wasn’t not good, but Isobel was pretty goddamn annoying and kind of dumb and a little self-important and I was mostly here for the creepy fae. That was fun. More fae should have antlers and stuff. Everything in this story happened ridiculously fast. I couldn’t believe it was over when it was over.

THE PROSE WAS VERY PRETTY. I’M NOT SURE WHY THE DRAGON HAD TO BE SUCH A MONUMENTAL DICK.

Uprooted  by Naomi Novik Agnieszka loves her valley home, her quiet village, the forests and the bright shining river. But the corrupted Wood stands on the border, full of malevolent power, and its shadow lies over her life. Her people rely on the cold, driven wizard known only as the Dragon to keep its powers at bay. But he demands a terrible price for his help: one young woman handed over to serve him for ten years, a fate almost as terrible as falling to the Wood. The next choosing is fast approaching, and Agnieszka is afraid. She knows—everyone knows—that the Dragon will take Kasia: beautiful, graceful, brave Kasia, all the things Agnieszka isn’t, and her dearest friend in the world. And there is no way to save her. But Agnieszka fears the wrong things. For when the Dragon comes, it is not Kasia he will choose.

— Let me just say first off, that this should have been two books. Everything happened so quickly, I swear I got whiplash. That being said, as a heroine, I liked Agnieszka a lot. She was understandably freaked by everything that happened, but once she kind of settled, she didn’t take The Dragon’s shit and that was good because The Dragon was kind of shitty. This is why it should have been two books. Because everything The Dragon did felt like it needed some kind of explanation. Or at least some sort of reasoning for why he was such a monumental bastard. Which is why I was a little confused that Agnieszka was in love with him? He was such a dick, honestly. The last third or so of this book was the best because Novik really does know how to write action and the magic itself was pretty fascinating. (I wish it went into more depth, but I think I’m spoiled by fic and that’s not actually how the publishing world works.) Kasia might have been the most interesting person in this story. Girl went through it and just became a total badass. I loved her.

MARAUDER FEELINGS! MARAUDER FEELINGS! SO! MANY! MARAUDER! FEELINGS!

The Raven King by Maggie Stiefvater All her life, Blue has been warned that she will cause her true love's death. She doesn't believe in true love and never thought this would be a problem, but as her life becomes caught up in the strange and sinister world of the Raven Boys, she's not so sure anymore.

— RICHARD GANSEY, MY BELOVED. What a dweeb. A self-sacrificing, sorta sad dweeb. When he wrapped his jacket around Blue, my heart exploded. I think I spent the last fifteen or so chapters with disconcertingly wide eyes and possibly my hand over my mouth. Still not entirely sure why a Welsh king was in Virginia, but I loved it. Was real glad he was there. As promised by that one book rec list I read months ago, the Marauders vibes of these books were off the charts. It was a weird story with lots of weird things and I hope Mr. Grey gets to be happy one day and that Ronan and Adam make out some more eventually. I think they’ll both feel a lot better if they do. Like, about the world as a whole. Has anyone read the Ronan spinoff series? Should I read the Ronan spinoff series?

OK, THIS WASN’T THAT BAD, ACTUALLY

To Love Jason Thorn by Ella Maise Jason Thorn... My brother's childhood friend. Oh, how stupidly in love with that boy I was. He was the first boy that made me blush, my first official crush. Sounds beautiful so far, right? That excitement that bubbles up inside you, those famous butterflies you feel for the very first time--he was the reason for them all. But, you only get to live in that fairytale world until they crush your hopes and dreams and then stomp on your heart for good measure. And boy did he crush my little heart into pieces. After the stomping part he became the boy I did my best to stay away from--and let me tell you, it was pretty hard to do when he slept in the room right across from mine. When tragedy struck his family and they moved away, I was ready to forget he ever existed. Now he is a movie star, the one who makes women of all ages go into a screaming frenzy, the one who makes everyone swoon with that dimpled smile of his. Do you think that's dreamy? I certainly don't think so. How about me coming face to face with him? Nope still not dreamy. Not when I can't even manage to look him in the eye. Me? I'm Olive, a new writer. Actually, I'm THE writer of the book that inspired the movie he is about to star in on the big screen. As of late, I am also referred to as the oh-so-very-lucky girl who is about to become the wife of Jason Thorn. Maybe you're thinking yet again that this is all so dreamy? Nope, nothing dreamy going on here. Not even close.

— Ignoring the fact that this was almost blatant self-insert, this was a mostly good, occasionally trashy book with brother’s best friend and the one who got away tropes. Which, as we know, are my life’s blood. (Plus, surprise, fake marriage that isn’t really fake?!? Ok. OK!) My only eeek moment was when Olive got super drunk and wanted Jason to like—consummate the marriage and he was like, No Olive, you’re drunk. And then they ended up doing everything except having full-on sex, which felt a little creep and a lot sketch and then it was never mentioned again. Also, Olive needs to find some better friends, God.

EMERSON COD VOICE: HE’S STAAAAAALKING YOU

Marriage For One by Ella Maise Jack and I, we did everything backward. The day he lured me into his office-which was also the first day we met-he proposed. You'd think a guy who looked like him-a bit cold maybe, but still striking and very unattainable-would only ask the love of his life to marry him, right? You'd think he must be madly in love. Nope. It was me he asked. A complete stranger who had never even heard of him. A stranger who had been dumped by her fiancé only weeks before. You'd think I'd laugh in his face, call him insane-and a few other names-then walk away as quickly as possible. Well…I did all those things except the walking away part. It took him only minutes to talk me into a business deal…erm, I mean marriage, and only days for us to officially tie the knot. Happiest day of my life. Magical. Pop the champagne… Not. It was the worst day. Jack Hawthorne was nothing like what I'd imagined for myself. I blamed him for my lapse in judgment. I blamed his eyes, the ocean blue eyes that looked straight into mine unapologetically, and that frown on his face I had no idea I would become so fascinated with in time. It wasn't long after he said I was the biggest mistake of his life that things started to change. No, he still didn't talk much, but anyone can string a few words together. His actions spoke the loudest to me. And day after day my heart started to get a mind of its own.

— Ok, ok, ok, so I enjoyed the Jason Thorn book, right? Was, like, how bad could this other book be? And it wasn’t bad, but it was patently ridiculous. Let me explain what happened. Not entirely sorry for the spoilers. Jack the lawyer sees that Rose is only going to get the space for her coffee shop from her uncle’s will if she marries someone. She WAS engaged, but the guy split. For reasons no one can understand, especially Rose. She’s sad. She’s spent so much money on espresso machines! Enter Jack the lawyer who one random afternoon is like: HEY ROSE, YOU’RE MOSTLY A STRANGER, BUT I ALSO NEED TO GET MARRIED FOR REASONS I’LL ONLY SORTA EXPLAIN, LETS DO THAT. So they do???? And Jack the lawyer continues to be kinda weird and a little shady, but Rose has got the coffee shop and things are going well. Until! She’s got a leaky brain!!! That’s not a joke. Not a typo. Out of goddamn LEFT FIELD, Rose has got some horrible medical condition, so thank God she got married because Jack the lawyer’s got great health insurance. (this is ROMANTIC) and she’s got to have an operation and he stays with her and sleeps in the hospital chair and her coffee shop is somehow still going strong??? On Madison Avenue??? What sit-down coffee shop on Madison Avenue do you guys know that would succeed? None because it’s not downtown. I digress. Anyway, Rose makes a miraculous recovery, she and Jack the lawyer are now almost in love? At least having a shit ton of sex. They’re mostly happily married. Until, part two! The ex-fiance shows up and is like JACK THE LAWYER PAID ME TO BREAK UP WITH YOU. To which Rose is understandably flabbergasted. She confronts Jack the lawyer who fesses that he’s been seriously crushing on her since they met at her uncle’s Christmas party. She doesn’t remember this. He does. BECAUSE HE’S A STALKER. So, he knew about the will stipulation with marriage BACK THEN, which is why he used FIRM RESOURCES to investigate the ex-fiance and found out he was a con man, using Rose with plans to basically steal all her money. This infuriated Jack the lawyer because he thought Rose deserved better and then proceeded to basically con her himself, just in a different way. With marriage! He told her he needed to get married to show he was a family man to make partner. THAT WAS A LIE. He didn’t need it at all. He just—wanted to marry her??? To help her??? What a psycho. She leaves. He continues to lurk outside the coffee shop. They make up. No one mentions the stalking. The end.

I KEEP GIVING HELENA SECOND CHANCES AND SHE KEEPS...NOT DESERVING THEM

All In Series by Helena Hunting Sometimes I need an escape from the demands, the puck bunnies, and the notoriety that come with being an NHL team captain. I just want to be a normal guy for a few weeks. So when I leave Chicago for some peace and quiet, the last thing I expect is for a gorgeous woman to literally fall into my lap on a flight to Alaska. Even better, she has absolutely no idea who I am.Lainey is the perfect escape from my life. My plan for seclusion becomes a monthlong sex fest punctuated with domestic bliss. But it ends just as abruptly as it began. When I’m called away on a family emergency, I realize too late that I have no way to contact Lainey.A year later, a chance encounter throws Lainey and me together again. But I still have a lie hanging over my head, and Lainey’s keeping secrets of her own. With more than lust at stake, the truth may be our game changer.

— Last year I read a hockey romance by Helena Hunting that was very cute and traditionally published and she’s got a bunch more free Amazon books that, for some reason, I keep downloading and reading and they continue to be absolutely ridiculous. That first one was a not-so-secret accidental pregnancy (as previously discussed ONE TIME without a condom mention and bam pregnant) but the second one with Rook’s sister was actually pretty cute. I’m not sure why they all called him Rook. Almost all these series have at least one book with someone recovering from an injury and they inevitably fall in love with their physical therapist. So, that one was pretty ok. None of these, however, were quite as entertaining as (wait for it) QUEENIE AND KINGSTON. WHOSE FRIENDS AND TEAMMATES ALL CALL HIM KING. QUEENIE. AND. KING. Gag. I read it anyway. At least 99% of that decision was based solely on the fact that the story started just after King found out his sister was actually his mom. How am I supposed to stop reading THAT?!? I ask you. Highlights of Queenie and King’s romance included: him calling his mom/sister MOMSTER, Queenie being secretly married this whole time, WITHOUT KNOWING IT, his strawberry allergy that flared up because she’d had a strawberry milkshake and then GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB, her dad finding out they were dating because he was the GM of the team and saw that his starting goalie was having a MASSIVE allergic reaction, Queenie’s eventual ex-husband getting engaged to someone who previously tried to self-inseminate to trap Rook into a relationship (I am not making this up, I swear) and then when he found out that his fiancee’s kid wasn’t actually his, he got into a massive fight and earned a 20-game suspension. THAT’S A QUARTER OF AN NHL SEASON. Tom Wilson got fined five thousand dollars for practically killing Artemi Panarin on the ice! I did not read the last book in this series because it was MORE ACCIDENTAL PREGNANCY and because it was Queenie’s dad and King’s mom and that meant they’d share a sibling. Which is where I draw the line, guys.

THERE WERE SEVEN BOOKS IN THIS SERIES! EVERY SINGLE ONE HAD TO HAVE A SCENE WHERE THE DUDE UNDERSTOOD THAT PERIODS WERE A THING???? LIKE THAT WAS IMPRESSIVE SOMEHOW?!?!

Hot Jocks Series by Kendall Ryan I've never been so stupid in my entire life. My teammate's incredibly sweet and gorgeous younger sister should have been off-limits, but my hockey stick didn't get that memo. After our team won the championship, and plenty of alcohol, our flirting turned physical and I took her to bed. Shame sent her running the next morning from our catastrophic mistake. She thinks I don't remember that night—but every detail is burned into my brain so deeply, I’ll never forget. The feel of her in my arms, the soft whimpers of pleasure I coaxed from her perfect lips…And now I’ve spent three months trying to get her out of my head. Which has been futile, because I’m starting to understand she’s the only girl I’ll ever want. I have one shot to show her I can be exactly what she needs, but Elise won’t be easily convinced. That’s okay, because I’m good under pressure, and this time, I’m playing for keeps.

—I read all of these. All. Of. Them. They were exceptionally quick reads. Every single one had a copious amount of sex in it and a very weird, apparently required scene, where the dude had to be like I’M NOT SQUICKED OUT BY PERIODS AM I NOT THE ULTIMATE EXAMPLE OF MASCULINITY?? My favorite one was Grant and Ana’s, though, because it was so goddamn absurd I cannot believe someone wrote it. Basic gist was that Ana was dating someone on Grant’s team (he’s the captain, natch) but the guy was a dick and abusive and so one night Ana decides to leave, but she needs someone to help her and WHO DOES SHE TURN TO??? That’s right, reclusive captain Grant. Who’s spent the last few years watching his teammates marry-up and start families and he’s so jealous, but he can’t say anything because he’s a stoic MAN™. So he takes Ana and her dog (of course she’s got a dog) back to his super swanky bachelor pad and she just sort of...stays there? Video of the boyfriend accosting her at her job gets leaked and the boyfriend gets sent to the AHL which is not really how it would work, but fine. Naturally, Grant and Ana hook up. It’s emotional. Vaguely romantic. There’s no GODDAMN CONDOM. So, she gets pregnant. But, of course. Except! She doesn’t know if it’s dick boyfriend’s or Grant’s. Because he’s the male lead in a free sports romance on Amazon, Grant is the MOST understanding. He wants to help Ana. He would like to continue having sex with Ana. This is ready-made happily ever after. Only Ana’s like...eh?? She doesn’t want it to look like she bounced from one hockey player to the next, but also she sorta did and she kept telling Grant she just wanted to be friends, only to have sex, like, three chapters later. Then she just moved out! Just moved out. Seven months pregnant. Moving out. With her dog. Of course, this is a free sports romance on Amazon, so eventually she moved back in with Grant. Once she realized independence wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. And because he left practice to be there when she had the baby. Oh! And she got a DNA test after. To see whose kid it was. Grant ripped that ‘ish up. Just ripped it up. Which is cool, I guess. But, like, you didn’t want to double check? What if that kid has to go to the hospital? Did she put Grant’s name on the birth certificate? What are his parental rights?? Anyway, they’re all set to live HEA when....THE DICK BOYFRIEND DIES. Straight up. No explanation. Nothing. Just Grant tells Ana he’s dead, she’s like, oh wow that’s sad, they send some flowers to the funeral and that’s THAT. I assume this was to close any potential plot holes on the father of this baby, but it was hysterical and I cannot stop thinking about it. Strangely enough, the one where the couple made a secret sex tape in college and then got back together because it got released may have been the healthiest relationship in this series.

[swanslieutenant]

from the sea - chapter nine

Summary: When Emma becomes sheriff, the pressure of running a department with a dwindling budget becomes nothing but an exercise in frustration. That is, until she finds an unlikely ally in the town treasurer, a man who her kid Henry is convinced is not an ally at all, but rather a villainous enemy. Season 1 AU, Cursed!Killian.

Rating and Warnings: Teen.

Catch up: ch1, ch2, ch3, ch4, ch5, ch6, ch7, ch8

Read on AO3

Note: apologies for the major delays! Hope you all enjoy this chapter.

 ______________________________

On a particularly boring night shift, with the station so silent that each squeak of her chair is startling and nearly deafening, Emma spends her time leant back in her chair, throwing her pen up in the air and catching it again. She’s counting how many catches in a row she can get up to before dropping it.

In Storybrooke, night shifts feel about twice as long as the day ones, and the mundane activity is the only keeping her occupied tonight. Hardly anything ever happens in this town overnight; sometimes Emma gets a call to collect some patrons of the local bars who have over-indulged or to break up some fight. Tonight, however, even those aren’t happening.

Emma catches the pen from its latest flight (number forty-eight), her expression twisting into a frown. Thinking of the bars makes her recall the night before, with Wes and his own episode of overindulgence.

She’s been thinking about him all day in one manner or another – what he said about Henry’s book getting to him, the ship painting on his wall identical to the one in the book, to his out of character drinking. A low bubble of unease has been roiling through her stomach all day, something she hasn’t felt since the week leading up to Graham’s death.

Emma had woken up to a polite text of thanks from Wes for getting him home, but her follow-up message to see how he was doing went unanswered. All morning she’d had to resist the urge to drive over to Town Hall to ask him about his strange comments and make sure he was okay. It was only the raised eyebrows of Mary Margaret at the breakfast table and a gentle “you can go check on him if you’re worried” that made her put her phone down and focus on her day ahead instead.

She lets out a deep sigh, and tosses the pen up in the air again. Fine, Mary Margaret is right – she’s worried about him. He was like a different person last night. Sure, everyone gets drunk once in a while, but to then go about Henry’s book and weird dreams?

The similarities to Graham’s behaviour before his death is niggling at the back of her mind again, and the more she thinks about Graham and the circumstances around his untimely death, the worse the churning in her stomach becomes.

Emma tosses the pen up in the air again, forcing her thoughts to count again her repetitive catches instead of swirling into the abyss of uncertainty. Fifty. Fifty-one. Fifty-two. Fifty-three…

She’s up to number eighty-four when the old landline on her desk rings, shrill and demanding, the sound so loud and sudden in the office’s silence that Emma nearly falls out of her chair in surprise. The pen clatters to the ground as she shifts her weight to reach the phone, her chair slamming hard back onto the linoleum as she lifts the receiver.

“Storybrooke Sheriff’s Department, what’s your emergency?” Her voice comes out breathless from her surprise, and she clears her throat. “This is Sheriff Swan speaking.”

“Yes, hello,” replies the voice of a man, half-bleary with sleep but clear with annoyance. “This is Arnold Scuttle, caretaker of the Maritime Museum. I got an alert that the security perimeter around the museum has been breached.”

Emma’s heart sinks. The museum? With its current exhibits full of pirate regalia, where the old timey pirate ship in the painting on Wes’s wall and the storybook is currently moored?

Seriously?

The caller takes her silence the wrong way, huffing out, “You are the sheriff, aren’t you? You see, I’d go myself, but it’s late out and who knows what kind of hoodlum it could be!”

Emma rolls her eyes, but she steadies her own annoyance at the caller before answering. “Yes, I’ll go check it out.” She hangs up before the caller can add anything else, and clambers to her feet. She kicks the stray pen out of her way, distracted by what – or rather, who – she already knows will be waiting for her down at the docks, and sprints out into the quiet night.

______________________________

The harbour is calm tonight, the lapping of the waves against the docks a gentle rhythm. Wes leans against the rough wooden beams of the fence, staring out at the ship moored only a few feet away. He couldn’t see the ship clearly from the main road, but now he can see her, the looming masts and rigging illuminated by the amber glow of the museum’s security lighting.

The entire day he’d spent lost in thought, his head pounding both from a horrible hangover and the thoughts swirling through his mind. A growing feeling of unease and strangeness has consumed him, progressive and insidious, ever since the dreams began, but after seeing this ship that day at the museum with Emma and Henry, it’s magnified tenfold. His day had been fruitless and pointless, his usual accounting numbers a blur, and when he’d come home and when it came time to lie down to sleep again, he’d only slipped into another nightmare.

This one had been of the ship itself. He’d been walking up a gangway towards it, his footsteps barely audible amidst the chirping seagulls and calls of working men, greeting him as the captain of the ship. It was a hot day, and when he’d stepped foot onto the rough wooden planks, an ease settled over him, the most content and peaceful he’d felt in a long time.

But the dream had twisted soon afterwards, to a dreadful storm that sent the ship rocking and the peace evaporating into dread and terror. And, as usual, that had been the cue for him to jolt awake from the dream in a damp sweat.

He was restless, and instead of lying in his bed for countless hours with his mind drenched in nightmares, Wes ventured out into the night. He had no desire to repeat last night’s episode at the bar, which he can only vaguely remembers if he’s being honest. Instead, his feet had led him here, down the small gangway leading to the museum.

Standing here now, in the peace of the night, he’s calmer than he had after the bustling dream. He lingers, leaning against the fence and watching the gentle rocking of the ship. His mind remains unsettled, and not even the sea, which usually relaxes him, is enough tonight.

These nightmares … they’re becoming realer and realer with each one he has. They’re vivid and intense, the latest as clear as if it was a memory. He’s sure that he’s losing his mind but some days, his life as the treasurer has begun to feel more like the dream, whereas the nightmares are the reality.

Bright headlights swing into view from behind him, disrupting his train of thought. A car door slams shut, and Wes squints against the bright light as someone walks down the path towards him. He doesn’t recognize who it as they approach, silhouetted as they are by the headlights behind them, until their voice calls out.

“Wes?”

“Swan?”

It is indeed Emma, her figure coming into view as she steps closer towards him. She’s frowning, one hand lingering at the gun on her belt, and her eyes dart behind him to the ship and back again.

“What are you doing out here?”

Her voice is curt and cool, suspicious and mistrustful, and Wes’s defense rise, rattled at her tone.

“I’m not doing anything. I’m out for a walk.” 

“At two a.m.?”

“Is that illegal, Sheriff?” he counters, crossing his arms over his chest, shifting his weight away from the fence. There it is again; the growing indignation at being questioned rearing its ugly head, just as it had at the market a few weeks ago.

Emma shakes her head wearily as her stern expression fades, breaking the growing tension between them. “No, of course not. You tripped the museum’s security alarm, and I got a call to come and see what was going on.”

“Oh,” he says, and some of the fight evaporates. He glances over to the museum, to the silent ship at the docks, and he shakes his head, trying to return to his senses. “My apologies. I didn’t mean to disrupt your evening. I was just getting some fresh air; I must’ve gotten too close to the museum and set it off.”

Emma regards him silently for a beat, enough to make Wes feel like she’s trying to read his mind, before she inquires, “Are you okay, Wes?”

“I’m fine,” he replies, automatic and insistent. “Why wouldn’t I be?” She raises an eyebrow, glancing at the ship again, and he sighs. She’s perceptive, he’ll give her that. “Well, I suppose I haven’t been sleeping well lately. I was hoping the fresh air may help settle my mind.”

“Still having nightmares?”

Wes starts, blinking once in surprise. “Nightmares – how do – did I tell you?”

“Yeah, you did. Last night.”

He shakes his head in annoyance. Not at her, but at himself. He’d indulged in a vice he thought he’d banished years ago, and of course, he cannot remember a damn thing about the night, other than random flashes of memory – drinking to excess at the bar, Emma’s concerned expression when he almost fell off his stool, her accompanying him home. If he told her about these dreams, who knows what else he may have told her.

“You said they were – they were about Henry’s book,” Emma prompts, though her own voice is hesitant. “With ships and pirates.”

“Aye,” he says, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I know it’s stupid, but these dreams … they really are disrupting my sleep.” His brow furrows, feeling at once silly for even letting something like dreams and nightmares affect him so much, and he steps away from the fence, without a backwards glance to the ship. “I’d better go, you’re right, it’s late. Sorry again for disrupting your evening, Emma.”

She is watching him, closely, her eyes slightly narrowed, but then she nods. “That’s okay. Do want a ride home?”

He shakes his head, feeling guilty enough. She must think he’s lost his mind – drinking to a stupor, losing sleep over dreams about a children’s book, and now coming to see an old ship in the middle of the night.

“No, that’s okay. I’ll walk.”

He starts back up towards the main street, and Emma falls into step beside him. “I’ll walk with you,” she says, and she elbows him playfully in his side, and adds, “Lest I get another grumpy call from Mr. Scuttle about someone breaking into take the ship for a midnight sail.”

He rolls his eyes, but does grin to himself as they leave the small pathway leading from the museum, heading back up to the main road. Perhaps she doesn’t think he’s too mad after all then.

Emma turns off her car and lock it as they pass it, the headlights winking out and leaving them in the amber light of the streetlights overhead. They walk in silence for some time, leaving the boardwalk and the museum behind them. His mind is still troubled, even though Emma’s presence at his side feels steady and warm.

The night is dark around them, with heavy clouds obscuring the moon and the stars. Wes, who always had a knack for telling when storms are approaching, can feel rain in the air, and wonders if taking Emma’s car would’ve been a better decision.

He’s proved right only a few minutes later, as they’re reaching the main street of Storybrooke. A blinding flash of lightning explodes in the sky above them, followed instantaneously by a grumbling roar of thunder. The heavens open up above them, rain drops the size of marbles falling heavily from the sky.

“Oh hell,” Emma swears, holding her hands over her head, her hair already drenched by the storm. “Come here, let’s wait this out for a minute.”

They duck into a nearby alcove of one of the shops, but it’s a shelter only for a few minutes. The rain is getting heavier, the streets misty and foggy from its intensity, and the wind is starting to swell and sweep the rain into to the alcove.

“This may go on for a while, so I’ll go on my own,” he says, pulling up his jacket collar to protect himself best he can from the rain without a hooded jacket. “Thanks for coming with me this far, Emma –”

“You’re going to walk in this?” Emma asks dubiously, casting a look out to the street. Another flash of lightning illuminates them, both pale and soaked, before thunder cracks above them again.

“It’s not far,” Wes replies stubbornly. “I’ll make it.”

“Don’t be stupid.” She tugs back him towards her, and points to a building across the street. “We’re so close to my place; come in and wait out the storm. I’ll go get my car when it calms down a bit and give you a ride then. Okay?”

Wes hesitates, but then nods. “Okay.”

______________________________

Emma leads the way through the pouring rain, darting across the main street and avoiding the growing puddles as she goes. Wes follows her zig-zag motion, into the warmth of the lobby. They ascend the stairs together, and Emma unlocks the front door quietly, hoping they don’t disturb Mary Margaret.

Inside, the loft is dark and quiet, the pounding rain echoing heavily against the old windows.

“Mary Margaret?” Emma calls quietly, stepping further into the apartment. A bright flash of lightning, followed by a crack of thunder, illuminates the rooms. In the nook where Mary Margaret sleeps, her bed is empty, her blankets still neatly folded.

Emma frowns at the sight. She’s never known her roommate to be out late at night – Mary Margaret is essentially the definition of a homebody – but she shrugs it away. Emma is sure she’s fine.

“She must be out,” Emma says, and she flips the light switch on near the front door and ushers Wes in. “Come on in.”

Emma takes off her drenched jacket, Wes mimicking her actions. The warmth of the loft is welcome, but her body is chilled from the rain and Emma shivers.

“Do you want a hot chocolate?” Emma asks, hoping that will ease the chills. 

“That sounds great,” he replies, and Emma notices he is shivering a bit too. He’s removed his jacket, but his shirt is soaked underneath too.

Emma pauses – she has an old Boston University sweater upstairs that’s always been two sizes too big for her, purchased on a whim several years ago when she was out late one night on a sting in a short dress in the middle of winter.

“Hang on a sec,” she says, and darts up the stairs to her bedroom. She grabs the sweater, after shuffling around in her drawers. Her hair, which she’d been wearing down, is soaking her shirt, so Emma twists it up onto a bun at the top of her head and changes into some dry clothes for herself too before returning down to the kitchen.

Downstairs, Wes is standing near the kitchen, leaning against the counter. He glances over as Emma comes down the stairs, and Emma is struck suddenly by the sight of him there in the middle of her kitchen. In his dark pants and black t-shirt, his dark hair messy and fly-away from the rain; this time when she shivers, it’s not because of the cold.

“I started the water,” he says obliviously, indicating the happily whistling kettle on the stovetop. “But I’m not sure where you keep the hot chocolate mix.”

Emma straightens, and continues down the stairs. “Oh, I’ll get it. Here – this is for you.”

“Thanks, love.”

Emma busies herself with pulling out the hot chocolate powder and two mugs, while Wes pulls on the sweater. When she turns back around, he’s leaning against the counter again, the sleeves of the sweater pushed up to his elbows. The elaborate brace holding his prosthetic is visible now, but instead she’s drawn to the elaborate tattoo on his inner right forearm.

It’s unlike anything she would expect the proper Wes Newport to have – a curved, silver dagger through the centre of a blood red heart, a script of the name Milah wrapped around the heart itself.

“Who’s Milah?” Emma asks, and he glances down to the tattoo. A shadow crosses his eyes, and he shakes the sleeve down over his arm, frowning.  

“Someone from long ago,” he responds, voice low. “She’s gone.”

Gone. He doesn’t say the word ‘dead’, but Emma hears it as loudly as if he had, and Emma regrets asking, regrets bringing up the past. She hates when people inquire about her past, and she can tell by Wes’s expression that he is just like her.

“I’m sorry,” she says, for many reasons, and she rests her hand on his left arm. He nods in acknowledgement, a small smile to her.

They sip their hot chocolate in silence for several minutes after that, listening to the heavy rain and the rolling thunder. Seeing him sitting at the kitchen bar, it’s inevitable that Emma’s thoughts return to the night before and his strange statements. She glances over to Wes. He’s twirling his spoon in his hot chocolate, eyes fixed on the kitchen counter, lost in thought.

“Wes,” Emma says cautiously, “Yesterday at the bar … what did you mean when you said Henry’s stories are getting to you?”

Wes’s cheeks redden, and he pinches the bridge of his nose. “It’s silly, Emma. I had too much to drink. Forget I said anything.”

 But Emma is not going to drop it so easily. She raises an eyebrow at him, and he sighs resignedly.

“Well, I’ve been having a lot of dreams lately. Nightmares, more like. And they’re … well, they remind me a bit of his book. I know he’s troubled and they’re only stories,” he clarifies at Emma’s expression. “But I can’t shake it. These dreams … they’re more than dreams. Makes me wonder if …”

His sentence trails off, but the implication makes Emma’s temper rise. “Don’t say that,” she snaps, setting her mug down, hot chocolate splashing onto the counter. Wes is taken aback, eyes widening, and she continues, her voice shaking with anger, “It’s all – they’re dreams, Wes. Nightmares. People get nightmares, okay? Henry’s book is full of stories, and that’s it! You can’t – you can’t be seriously entertaining –”

“I know that,” Wes interrupts indignantly. “I’m not saying they’re real, Emma –”

“They’re not real,” Emma agrees, raising her voice louder. “They’re just stories! Stories of evil queens and princesses and pirates.”

Wes flinches at the last word, and that’s the last straw for Emma. She moves to the other side of the counter where he is leaning, standing closely opposite him, and demands, “Wes, what are you trying to say?”

“I don’t know,” he replies softly, and there is true, genuine anguish in his voice now. “I don’t know how to explain it … but the dreams they feel real to me, Emma. Like – like they’re not just dreams.”

Emma takes a deep breath, trying to steady herself. “But Wes … the stories aren’t real. This is real. Storybrooke. Here, now. Not – not whatever the hell is in that book.”

“I know,” he says, “I know, Emma.”

Her anger and frustration fades out of her as quickly as they came at his voice, and she is left with a hollow emptiness. She is ashamed – of course, Wes knows the stories aren’t real. Whatever is going on with him is something else, some problem linked to sleep deprivation or stress, not fantastical stories her kid just happens to believe to be real.

Wes is staring at her, his eyes guarded as he waits for her reaction. Emma’s stomach turns with guilt; whatever is going on for him, Wes doesn’t need his friends accusing him of believing in a fantasy either. She swallows hard, and decides then that no matter what, she was going to help him figure this out.

She steps closer to him and rests her hand firmly on his left arm, just above the prosthetic’s brace. “Wes, we’ll figure out what’s going on, okay? I’ll help you figure this out.”

He nods, and his voice is soft when he says, “Thank you, Emma.”

As he looks at her, his blue eyes deep and mixed with relief, Emma realizes how close they are. The air between them seems electrified, as charged as the storm outside, and normally, Emma would break this tension. But as Wes leans closer to her, Emma doesn’t pull away. She’s been skittish when it comes to men for so long, but this feels different. It feels right. Her eyes close as she rests her forehead against his, his damp hair brushing against her skin and sending goosebumps down her arms.

“Emma.”

Her name escapes his lips on a sigh, and he lifts his hand to her face, his fingers cool on her cheek. She angles her face, her lips nearly touching his, and then she becomes vaguely aware of the sound of the front door opening behind them.

There’s a very loud squeak of alarm, and Wes springs away from her like he’s been burned. Emma’s eyes snap to the source of the shriek, and she whirls around, her face starting to burn.

It’s Mary Margaret, standing in the open doorway, an open umbrella in her hands dripping onto the floor, her face beet red and a hand pressed against her mouth.

“I am so sorry,” she says, her eyes as wide as dinner plates as she looks between Wes and Emma. “I didn’t expect anyone to be here.”

Emma is frozen, but Wes is already halfway to the door, picking up his damp jacket and swinging it on, over the Boston University sweater. He looks back to Emma and manages a small smile that has Emma’s stomach filled with butterflies, even in her current state of mortification.

“Goodnight, Emma.”

He turns around and collides right with Mary Margaret, who squeaks again. Emma wants to bury herself alive at this point, and she can’t even watch as Wes and Mary Margaret have a several second awkward dance of trying to get past each other. Finally, Wes manages to sidestep Mary Margaret and with a quick, “Uh, goodnight to you too, Mary Margaret,” he hurries out of the loft, the door shutting firmly behind him.

“I am so sorry,” Mary Margaret says breathlessly the next moment, her eyes wide as she steps further into the apartment. “I didn’t mean to interrupt your date, I didn’t know you guys would be here, I thought you were at work tonight –”

Emma chokes. “This – this wasn’t a date.”

Mary Margaret’s expression shifts from traumatized to amused, and she sends her a very un-Mary Margaret-like glance; Emma’s cheeks burn even more.

“It wasn’t a date!” she insists further. “He was out at the museum, I got a call from the … listen, it’s a long story. And then it started raining, so we came in here to get out of it and talk –”

“Uh huh,” Mary Margaret hums. She leans closer to Emma, a mischievous glint to her eyes. “Talking very close together.”

Emma feels like a goddamn teenage girl, caught by her mother with her boyfriend, and that is a feeling Emma has never felt before in her life. And also – Wes is not her boyfriend.

“I’ve got to get back to work,” she mumbles, desperate to get out of the loft, sidestepping Mary Margaret and grabbing a dry jacket from the hook near the door. “See you tomorrow.”

Mary Margaret is still grinning, but Emma ignores her as she leaves the apartment and down the steps. Outside it’s still pouring, but she’d far rather be out in this torrential downpour than the apartment, where Mary Margaret’s eyes are far too knowing.

______________________________

As dawn approaches, the town of Storybrooke is quiet and sleepy, the only remnants of the previous night’s storm the damp road and dripping street signs. No one is out for the day yet, so Regina walks freely down the main street, jingling her heavy key ring in her hand as she approaches Gold’s pawnshop.

Regina had spent the night in her vault, researching and reading, and she has nearly all she needs to be rid of Emma Swan, once and for all. 

She needs one more thing, and she knows exactly where to get it – the pawnshop. The man who has been collecting items for centuries, who knows more about lore and spells than anyone else in all the worlds. After all – he was the one to suggest the curse to her in the first place; if there’s a loophole, he’ll be the one to know.

The little bell above the door at Gold’s pawnshop tinkles as Regina slips her own key into the lock and pushes the door open, ignoring the obvious closed sign hanging in the window. The shop is quiet, dust floating gently through the faint light filtering into the shop from the streetlights.

Regina steps carefully into the shop, the floor creaking under her boots. The shop has always creeped her out – puppet dolls sit under a unicorn mobile, scattered jewellery, and dozens of paintings of various locales and individuals on the walls. All objects from the townspeople before they lost themselves.

Something flashy catches her eye on the central counter, and Regina moves towards it. Amidst scattered objects and papers, resting in a glass display case, is a curved and lethal silver hook.

The hook.

So this is where it ended up; she supposes she shouldn’t be surprised. He’s always liked to collect trophies, and no doubt that this is one of his most valuable. Curious, Regina lifts the lid, but as her fingers brush the hook, a voice speaks from the shadows.

“It’s early for a visit, Madam Mayor,” the slippery, cool voice of Mr. Gold greets. He’s standing in the doorway to the backroom, dressed to the nines in his usual suit and tie, leaning on his cane. “I swear I locked the front door.”

Regina smiles coolly, though she withdraws her hand from the display case. “This is my town, Gold. You know a locked door couldn’t keep me out.”

He smiles back at her, and slinks further into the shop. “Of course, Madam Mayor. Hence, my appearance here this morning. Ah,” he adds, inclining his head at the hook as he steps closer and notices the open display case. “Ms. Swan was here the other day … I was trying to make a point.”

Regina scowls at him, the comment making her temper flare, but she reins it in. He’s taunting her, and she won’t allow him the delight of seeing it get to her.

“I need something from you.”

“I’d gathered as much.”

Regina pauses, choosing her next words carefully. As she explains her plan, that it’s the only way to save Storybrooke in its current form before more damage is done, Gold watches her silently.

When she’s finished and when the proposal is laid out on the table, Gold turns and pulls at one of the framed pictures on the wall. It swings forward to reveal a safe, embedded in the wall itself. He enters the combination and opens it, the door creaky as he opens it. Regina catches a glimpse of a white china teacup and a ratty beige blanket before Gold is shutting it again, a small box in his hand.

“I suppose I have something that can help you.” He places the small box on the table, next to the hook in the display case. “Take this and the hook, and you have what you require.”

“And the hook?”

Gold nods, his eyes flashing. “Something from the world that was – to make sure all goes to plan.”

Regina picks up the small box, which is surprisingly heavy for its size as it fits comfortably in the palm of her hand. “And what do you want for them in return?” she asks coolly. “There’s always a price with you, Gold.”

He chuckles, already beginning to slink back into the shadows of the backroom. “No charge for the items, Madam Mayor. Just remember … magic always comes with a price.” 

Regina glares, as her skin prickles and her heartbeat quickens. Magic – it’s the first either of them have acknowledged the word in more than 28 years. They’ve lived in an uneasy alliance for nearly three decades as mayor and pawnbroker, and here they are, more queen and sorcerer than they have been in years.

“Well, whatever the price is for this, I’m willing to pay it. It’s worth it.”  

“Infamous last words,” Gold murmurs, with a wry grin. He disappears through the curtain, his final words floating out after him into the quiet shop: “Good luck, your majesty.”

______________________________

For the first time in a long, long time, Wes Newport feels alive.

He’d hardly slept after returning back to his apartment, drenched to the bone from the heavy rain, and all morning he’s been running on too many cups of coffee and adrenaline-fueled sleep deprivation. He went into the office early, but his mind is whirling and he’s unable to focus on his work. Instead, he’s thinking about the night before – about Emma. About her finding him at the docks, taking him back to the loft, giving him her sweater. And, most importantly about her about her promise to help him figure out what is going on.

Sitting at his desk, his fingers hesitate over Emma’s number on his phone, but he changes his mind. She’s probably still asleep after her night shift, and besides … he’s not sure what he’d say over text to her. He’d rather speak in person.

A knock at his office door interrupts his thoughts, and he glances over. It’s Sidney Glass who, without preamble, announces, “The mayor wants to see you.”

Wes resists a sigh, and slips his phone into his jacket pocket. “What’s it about?”

But Sidney Glass is already walking away. A summoning by Regina is never a good sign, but she’s been in a particularly foul mood lately, and he hopes he’s not about to be lectured about the budget again. He knows his work has suffered the past few weeks, his mind scattered and distracted, but he’s in no mood to deal with Regina’s snide remarks about it.

As he’s walking to Regina’s office, lost in thought, suddenly the strangest experience takes over him. Instead of walking down the old oak hallways of Town Hall, he is in a draughty, stone corridor with flickering torches against the walls in the place of fluorescent lights.

He pauses, taking in his surroundings, before his feet begin to move ahead, of their own accord. There are two men standing in front of a two-storey iron door, dressed in all black with swords at their sides. He continues towards them, his step echoing loudly against the cavernous walls around him.

“Halt!” one of the guard shouts, one hand out to stop any further approach, the other to the sword at his belt. “Her Majesty is receiving no visitors today.”

“I am expected.” The words come out of his mouth, unbidden, as if someone else is speaking them.

The guards exchange a look, and one of them grounds out reluctantly, “From where do you hail?”

“From the sea,” he says easily, sauntering towards them without a pause. From the sea, no loyalty to a kingdom, to a ruler, to anyone but himself and the vast ocean.

They are unimpressed, and both shift to block the doorway and his path forward any further. “Not good enough. You could be the god of the ocean himself, but our orders are clear. No visitors.”

He smirks, though he does come to a stop, arms crossed pointedly over his chest, his left arm angled to be very apparent. “As I said, gentleman, your queen is expecting me, and it would be quite the pity for you if she learned you’d tried to delay me.”

One guard’s eyes widen, while the other scowls. They mutter with each other, casting, casting a glance at him, before one shrugs and the other sighs in defeat.

“Fine, go in. If she bites your head off, though, that’s on you.”

He rolls his eyes as they swing open the heavy door, its creaking echoing through the hall. He walks down several more corridors, until he enters a grand chamber, with balconies open down to the dark forest below and rich, gold-encrusted furniture scattered about the room. Regina stands in the centre, on a thick rug, dressed in a red velvet dress with a glittering ruby tiara amongst her long black hair.

“There you are,” she says, irritated. “I’ve been waiting all morning.”

He steps further into the room, but a sudden sense of dizziness overwhelms him then that blurs his vision and makes his head swim. The floor beneath him sways, and he leans heavily against the wall.

“Are you okay?”

He shakes his head, trying to clear the dizziness. It subsides slightly, and when he opens his eyes again, he’s no longer standing in the long hallways of the stone palace, but instead in Regina’s richly decorated black and white office.

“Wes? Are you feeling okay?”

It’s Regina, standing opposite him, just as she was a moment ago, but now she is dressed in her usual black pant suit with short, cropped hair, the gown and crown gone. Her face is twisted in unease, and he blinks.

“I – what just happened?”

“You came in here and almost collapsed. Are you alright?”

He shakes his head, trying to clear his mind – great, so now he’s starting to have dreams – hallucinations? – during the day now too?

“Sorry, no I’m fine. I, uh – you wanted to see me?”

“Yes, I did,” she replies, and she gestures him to step further into the office. “Come in, have a seat – you’re looking pale.”

“What’s this about?” he asks, eager to get out of here and back to his own office as he settles into the rich leather chair opposite Regina’s desk.

“Are you sure you’re feeling alright?” Regina says instead, as she takes her own seat, and Wes resists the urge to sigh.

“I’m fine, really. Just a bit – bit tired this morning.”

Regina regards him, but then nods, apparently satisfied. “Okay. Well, I was reviewing payroll, and I realized your vacation for this year is about to expire. You’ll lose it if you don’t use it, so why don’t you take the next few days off?”

“A vacation?” he echoes, and he frowns. Regina has never suggested he take a vacation before – she’d rather have her employees work 24/7 if she could.

She nods, smiling, but goosebumps rise on his skin at the sight. It’s true, he does need a break – his nightmares and the surrounding events need to get sorted out, and he knows his work has been suffering because of it. But his haunches rise at Regina’s smile – sickly sweet and dark all at the same time.

“You’ve been working hard lately, and deserve a break,” she continues. “Take some time for yourself. Relax, read a book, get some rest.”

Wes has known Regina for many years, has been at her side for her many schemes, and he knows when she’s up to something. Whatever this ‘something’ is, it’s apparent she wants him out of the way here for the next few days. This is what she does when she wants someone out of her way – she sends them off until she’s dealt with whatever is irritating her this time.

There’s no point in questioning her, or arguing. She’s made up her mind, and changing that is harder than changing the tides of the sea.

“Perhaps that is a good idea.”

Her smile widens, warm and gentle, though her eyes remain cold as ever. “Yes, I think so. Go on, head home. I’ll see you in a week’s time.”

She’s beside him then, helping him to his feet as he rises from the chair. Her hands are cold on his arm and at his side even through his jacket, and he sends her a funny glance – Regina is not a touchy person – but she’s stepping away from him just as rapidly, watching him with concerned eyes as if she expects him to collapse again.

He steps away from her, turning back to say goodbye, and then, for another brief, terrifying moment, he’s back in the large stone chamber with its wide balconies and luxurious furniture, Regina dressed as a queen in front of him.

“Are you sure you’re feeling okay, Wes?”

He blinks again, and the image disappears. Regina is watching him, eyes slightly narrowed, and he nods and smiles as reassuringly at her as he can.

“Of course. You’re right, Regina – I think a holiday is just what I need.”

He departs her office without another word, hurrying back to his own. When he’s there, shutting the door firmly behind him, he collapses into his chair, thoughts swimming and swirling. That image of the stone chamber – a palace? – is emblazoned in his mind. It’s familiar, like the ship is … and so familiar Wes is sure that he has been there before.

He doesn’t know what Regina is up to or what this latest dream/hallucination is about or if they’re even connected, but he knows one thing by the twisting of dread in his gut – whatever is going on, it isn’t good. He’s been teetering on the edge of being able to handle this, but now, now that he’s been to this dream world during the day, he knows there’s no more avoiding it. Dreams or not, he needs to figure out what the hell is going on, and he needs to do it now.

[thesunnyshow]

Name: Alana

Writing Blog URL(s): @jinyoungsir

What fandom(s) do you write for?: GOT7, BTS, Monsta X, Stray Kids, Ateez, NCT

Age: 27

Nationality: American

Languages: English

Star Sign: Aries

MBTI: I’m not sure. I’ve taken the test so many times but I never remember the result.

Favorite color: Black

Favorite food: Potatoes! All forms of potatoes!!

Favorite movie: Harry Potter? Jurassic Park/World? Twister? Jaws? I love movies...it’s so hard to choose!

Favorite ice cream flavor: Vanilla with lots of fudge & brownie bits.

Favorite animal: Tigers! I like big cats and the way they move. 

Coffee or tea? What are you ordering?: Coffee- Peppermint White Mocha HOT! Or any flavor tea hot or cold as long as it’s sweetened!

Dream job (whether you have a job or not): Writing and Traveling. Something far from the 9-5, ‘working for the man’ type of job.

Go-to karaoke song: ‘Shoop’ by Salt-N-Pepa (thank u Deadpool)

If you could have one superpower, what would you choose?: The ability to manipulate time because I am late for everything and also, I would 100% pause the timeline for a little mental health break once a day. 

If you could visit a historical era, which would you choose?: Idk if this counts but I low-key would have loved to be a pirate. So whatever timeline that fits into. 

If you could restart your life, knowing what you do now, would you?: No, thank you. I already have a defiance disorder. I’m not going to be under 18 ever again. I like doing what I want when I want as an adult lol. Everything turned out okay. 

Would you rather fight 100 chicken-sized horses or one horse-sized chicken?: 100 chicken-sized horses. I hope I drown in them. What a dream.

If you were a trope in a teen high school movie, what would you have been?: I AM a teen highschool movie trope lol my husband and I met in school at fourteen.

Do you believe in aliens/supernatural creatures?: YES, because the world is just too big for there not to be. 

Fun fact about yourself that not everyone would know?: I stopped eating pizza for several years for no real reason other than not wanting to eat pizza and then just starting eating it again one day as if I had never stopped. 

When did you post your first piece?: I think it was May 2019.

Do you write fluff/angst/crack/general/smut, combo, etc? Why?: Mostly fluff & humor because I’m kind of soft and I really love a feel-good fic. Any angst I write is typically resolved by the end because I live for a happy ending. And occasional smut strictly for the spice. 

Do you write OCs, X Readers, Ships...etc?: OCs & xReaders. 

Why did you decide to write for Tumblr?: I love/hate the format tbh but mostly because of my tumblr community. I love being able to meet and talk to new people easily thru the platform. 

What inspires you to write?: Everything! Songs, movies, commercials, personal events, etc. Sometimes it’s just a word, phrase, or picture.

What genres/AUs do you enjoy writing the most?: I’m a major sucker for friends/strangers to lovers! and I LOVE a good Mafia/Gang/Assassin!AU. On the opposite end of the spectrum, you can catch me writing dad!au stories. 

What do you hope your readers take away from your work?: I just hope it makes them feel good. Laugh, smile, cry, yell, uwu, just- all the emotions. 

What do you do when you hit a rough spot creatively?: Take a break. Read a book, dive into a k-drama, binge a few fics. Sometimes I just have to put the laptop away until I’m ready to start again.

What is your favorite work and why? Your most successful?: My favorite story is probably ‘Over The Top’ with GOT7’s Bambam. It’s a dad!au about bam’s twin boys’ first birthday party. I’m quite attached to their family dynamic in the story and may even revisit twin terrors Somsak & Somchai in the future. Most successful? Probably the ‘Bubbles’ series, a Monsta X OT7 fiesta. I had a lot of feedback while posting that series and made a lot of friends. (It was also my first actual fic & it jump-started this blog!)

Who is your favorite person to write about?: Jackson Wang or Park Jinyoung from GOT7 and Han Jisung from Stray Kids. 

Do you think there’s a difference between writing fanfiction vs. completely original prose?: This is kind of a tough one because, yes- as a fanfic writer I’m using a real person as a character, however, the storyline, the dialog, the emotions, the actions of the characters are all organic. I could take any one of my stories and replace only that person’s name and it would be considered entirely original. So, I guess I would say it’s not so different. 

What do you think makes a good story?: Great dialog. 

What is your writing process like?: Sometimes I get an idea and go straight to word vomiting and editing. Sometimes it’s planning the title, characters, tags list, & summary then not looking at it for a few weeks until I’m ready to write it. 

Would you ever repurpose a fic into a completely original story?: Yes. All of my stories are AU (non-idol verse) so I would totally repurpose them.

What tropes do you love, and what tropes can’t you stand?: Love: friends/strangers/enemies to lovers, + grumpy character only soft for their love interest. Dislike: Love triangles, angsty slow burn, cheating, etc.

How much would you say audience feedback/engagement means to you?: IT IS EVERYTHING. I love reading tags, getting aks, getting messages, it warms my heart, and really motivates me to keep going.

What has been one of the biggest factors of your success (of any size)?: When I write and I really like my own story, it feels like a success. 

Do you think fanfic writers get unfairly judged?: Yes, they certainly can be. I think people who don’t understand fanfiction can have a very narrow mindset and belittle fanfic writers because of that misunderstanding.

Do you think art can be a medium for change?: Yes. Even if its something as small as changing one’s mood. 

Do you ever feel there are times when you’re writing for others, rather than yourself?: Not usually. I try to only write things that make me happy and if I ever get requests I’m not into, I usually won’t write it. If I’m not enjoying myself and the story, it’s not worth the pressure I put on myself to write it.

Do you ever feel like people have misunderstood you or your writing at times?: It’s definitely possible, but I haven’t had many issues with this so far.

Do your offline friends/loved ones know you write for Tumblr?: My mom, dad, sister, husband, and two other friends know.

What is one thing you wish you could tell your followers?: I’m always here to make you laugh and smile, whenever you need it. I hope my stories can bring you joy.

Do you have any advice for aspiring writers who might be too scared to put themselves out there?: Do it for yourself. If you are enjoying yourself then it’s worth it. 

Are there any times when you regret joining Tumblr?: I love this hellsite. I’ve been here since high school and I have no regrets. 

Do you have any mutuals who have been particularly formative/supportive in your Tumblr journey?: AJ: my favorite bean, Chelle: my fav writer & inspo, Megan: my hype squad gf, Leena: my sisterwife, Na: my #1 supporter, and Val: my JJP/Wonu Soulmate. 

Pick a quote to end your interview with: “mo0n Mo0n JiN m0oN!” - Jeon Jeongguk

BONUS ROUND: K-POP CONFIDENTIAL

[alexsfictionaddiction]

Alex Recommends: May and June Books

I must apologise for the late arrival of this post. It should have been up days ago but I’ve been struggling to read much for the last month or so. My head has been very foggy and dark with all of the confusion, anxiety and hate that has been filling my news feeds and I’ve been filled with a desire to combat it. Before this month, I’d have run in the opposite direction from any kind of confrontation but recent events have given me the kick up the butt to actively do better. I’ve been calling out bigotry when I come across it and I’ve noticed that some people, notably my older relatives, haven’t necessarily reacted favorably to the changed, more outspoken Alex. It has been pretty daunting and I’ve worked myself up into fits of rage and tears several times over the last couple of months.

A lot of things have changed for me since my last Alex Recommends post. I’m currently temporarily living in Staffordshire with my boyfriend because my depression got too bad for me to stay at home for much longer. I missed him unbelievably much and I knew that spending some prolonged time with him would help -and it has. Both him and I have spent 12 weeks religiously following all of the rules, so we’re both extremely low-risk for catching and spreading COVID-19 and being together was something that we simply really needed to do. Please don’t hate me for it! In other news, I have also started writing again, which feels amazing. I’m now a few thousand words into a queer Rapunzel retelling that I have lots of ideas for. Maybe I’ll even post an extract or two, when I feel it’s ready to show you.

In the centre of the renewed energy of Black Lives Matter and the undeniable exposure of the horrors that is police brutality, the book blogging and BookTube worlds vowed to uplift Black voices. I wrote a very long, in-depth blog post full of Black-written books and Black book influencers. Please check it out to diversify your TBR and educate yourself on Black issues, which is what every white person should be doing now and always.

June was Pride Month and I tried my best to compile a series of recommendation posts in honour of it. These included gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, non-binary, ace, pansexual and intersex lists. I’ve had some great feedback on this, so I hope you find some fantastic new reads. It felt especially poignant to put them together the same year that one of my childhood heroes came out as an ignorant trans-exclusive feminist. As a lifelong Harry Potter superfan and someone who has repeatedly publicly supported Rowling in the past, I feel the need to clarify where I now stand. I do not support or agree with a single thing that she has said in recent times with regard to transgender people. I’ve never felt my own status as a cisgender female threatened by trans people wanting more rights or believed that children or women were at risk due to their existence. 

I read her words more than once and struggled to find any semblance of the woman who wrote the books that have most defined my life. I’m hesitant to say that we can always successfully separate the art from the artist but I will say that it makes sense to me that the Rowling of 2020 is not the same Rowling that wrote Harry Potter. She was a destitute single mother when Philosopher’s Stone was published in 1997 and of course, she is now a million worlds away from that lifestyle. It breaks my heart but it makes sense to me that she has changed beyond belief because her life has changed beyond belief. I’m not and never would make any excuses for her recent behaviour and I have stopped supporting her personally but I will not be getting rid of my Harry Potter books and I will undoubtedly re-read them several more times. However, I am now hugely reluctant to buy any more merchandise or special editions of the books, which saddens me but at the moment, it feels right. There is no coming back for her from this and I will make a conscious effort to keep Harry Potter and Rowling away from my future content. It can be really tough to admit that the people you once really admired aren’t great humans but it’s something that we all have to acknowledge in this case, in order to move forward with our own quests to become our best selves.

It didn’t feel right to post my May recommendations last month as I didn’t feel comfortable promoting my own content in the midst of boosting Black voices. So today I’m bringing you a bumper edition of Alex Recommends. Here are 10 books that I’ve enjoyed since the start of May that I’d love to share with you. Enjoy! -Love, Alex x

FICTION: Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng

Set in the affluent neighbourhood of Shaker Heights, Ohio in the 1990s, two families are brought together and pulled apart by the most intense, devastating circumstances. Dealing with issues of race, class, coming-of-age, motherhood and the dangers of perfection, Little Fires Everywhere is highly addictive and effecting. With characters who are so heartbreakingly real and a story that weaves its way to your very core, I couldn’t put it down and I’m still thinking about it over a month after finishing it. 

FICTION: Get A Life, Chloe Brown by Talia Hibbert

When coding nerd Chloe Brown almost dies, she makes a list of goals and vows to finally Get A Life. So she enlists tattooed redhead handyman and biker Red to teach her how. Cute, funny and ultimately life-affirming, this enemies-to-lovers rom-com was exactly the brand of light relief that I needed this month. The follow-up Take A Hint, Dani Brown focuses on a fake-dating situation with Chloe’s over-achieving academic sister and I can’t wait to get my hands on that.

FICTION: The Rearranged Life of Oona Lockhart by Margarita Montimore

Just before her 19th birthday at midnight on New Year’s Eve 1983, Oona Lockhart finds herself inexplicably in 2015 inside her 51-year-old body. She soon learns that every year on New Year’s Day, she will now find herself inside a random year of her life and she has no control over it. Seeing her through relationships, friendships and extreme wealth, this strange novel has echoes of Back To The Future and 13 Going On 30 with a final revelation that I certainly never saw coming.

NON-FICTION: The Five by Hallie Rubenhold

Atmospheric and engaging, The Five details the previously untold stories of Polly, Annie, Elisabeth, Kate and Mary-Jane -the women who lost their lives at the hands of Jack the Ripper. Full of fascinating research and heartbreaking accounts of what these women’s lives may have been like, Rubenhold paints a dark immersive portrait of Victorian London and gives voice to these tragic silenced lives. Although we can’t know for certain if these accounts are entirely accurate, they feel very plausible and in some ways, The Five exposes how little time has moved on, when it comes to the public portrayal of single, troubled women.

NON-FICTION: Unicorn by Amrou Al-Kadhi

From a childhood crush on Macaulay Culkin to how a teenage obsession with marine biology helped them realise their non-binary identity, Unicorn tells the story of how the obsessive perfectionist son of a strict Muslim Iraqi family became the gorgeous drag queen Glamrou. Packed full of humour, honesty and heart, this book will give you the strength and inspiration to harness what you were born with and be who you were always meant to be.

MIDDLE-GRADE: The Super Miraculous Journey of Freddie Yates by Jenny Pearson

When fact-obsessed Freddie’s grandmother dies, he discovers that the father he has never met may actually be alive and living in Wales. So he has no choice but to grab his best friends Ben and Charlie, leave his home in Andover and go to find his dad! I laughed so many times during this madcap adventure and I know the slapstick crazy humour will hit the middle-grade target audience just right. It’s also a wonderful depiction of small town Britain with a focus on the true meaning of family.

MIDDLE-GRADE: A Kind Of Spark by Elle McNicoll

When Addie learns about her hometown’s history of witch trials, she campaigns tirelessly to get a memorial for the women who lost their lives through it. This wonderfully beautiful novel gives a unique insight into the mind of an 11-year-old autistic girl with a huge heart. Busting myths about neurodiversity while tackling typical pre-teen drama, you’ll laugh, you’ll cry but most of all, you’ll close the book with a huge smile on your face. 

HISTORICAL FICTION: Hamnet by Maggie O’Farrell

In 16th century Warwickshire, Agnes is a woman with a unique gift whose relationship with a young Latin tutor produces three children and a legacy that lasts for centuries. This enchanting, all-consuming account of the tragic story of Shakespeare’s lost son, the effects that rippled through the family and the play that was born from their pain will send a bullet straight through your heart. Wonderfully researched and beautifully written, Hamnet is worth all of the hype.

HISTORICAL FICTION: The Mercies by Kiran Millwood Hargrave

When a vicious storm kills most of the men of Vardø, Norway, it’s up to the women to keep things going but a man with a murderous past is about to come down with an iron fist. At the heart of this dark tale of witch trials, grief and feminism, two women find something they’ve each been searching for within each other. Gorgeously written with a fantastically slow-burning queer romance, Kiran Millwood Hargrave’s first adult novel is an addictive, atmospheric read with a poignant, tearjerker of an ending.

SCI-FI: Q by Christina Dalcher

When one of Elena’s daughters manages to drop below the country’s desired Q number, she is sent away to one of the new state schools and Elena is about to find out something she’d really rather not know about the new system. Packed full of real social commentary and critique of life as we know it while painting a picture of how things could be even worse (yes, really!), this pulse-racing, horrifying sci-fi dystopian gripped me from the first page and refused to let me go. 

[mintgator]

MDZS fic ideas

Things I’d love to see in Mo Doa Zu Shi fanfiction. These are my notes for things I have told myself I am not allowed to write. I’ve read...so many fics for this fandom, like most of the archive, and I’m sad that I’m pretty much at the point of rereading/waiting for updates. These ideas have been swimming around in my head that I have no time to write, so PLEASE someone take them and gimme some new words to read, I beg you.  Of course, end goal should be wangxian in some way, because otherwise WHAT IS THE POINT, but I don’t have time to write these, so...here you go. Please let me know if you use them. I wanna read these, but I don’t have time to write them, so maybe someone else will want to.

*Time Travel AU in which WWX goes back and for some reason tells Madame Yu all the bullshit that’s gonna happen, so they team up and fix all the things. I just...really want Mama Yu to like WWX thanks. And dear god, LET JC BE HAPPY! I need so much more resolution on that front. Even the book did not satisfy me. I WANT MY BOYS TO GET ALONG! And I want Mama Yu to not be awful and abusive to WWX! I mean she had reasons for being salty but uh that is NOT good justification for the shit she pulled with WWX. Also, hell, let Jiang Fengmian get his core melted and have Madame Yu run the sect. WE NEED FEMALE REP.

*Cangse Sanren and Wei Changze live so WWX gets to grow up with his parents. He meets LWJ as a rogue cultivator or something idk. This would make a fun oneshot.

*LWJ’s mother lives! Honestly, I just want happy Lan-fam. Can I get that please? Just how much would it change the dynamic of the story if LWJ’s father led the sect properly and his mother wasn’t locked away in a goddamn building and actually got to spend more time with her kids? I am forever salty that we’ll never know why Mama Lan killed her hubby’s teacher or w/e. Somebody GIVE ME SOME REASONING.

*WWX gets taken in and claimed as heir by Wen Ruohan...and WWX doesn’t learn that their ways are wrong until he’s at least a teen (perhaps when sent to train at the Cloud Recesses?) and realizes how the other Sects really feel about them. Give him some convoluted morals that he has to unlearn. Make Wen Xu and Wen Chao hate him for being chosen over them. Change Wei Wuxian/Wei Ying into Wen Ying/Wen Wuxian and have it be a secret that he’s not actually a Wen. Have WWX actually not want the Wen Sect destroyed because despite how messed up its people are, not all of them are bad--mostly just those in power (it still baffles me that the other clans just DESTROYED an entire sect, like I know the Wens burned Lotus Pier but DAMN that’s cold!) Even some kind of variation where WWX influences Wen Ruohan and his children’s evil mindset would be really interesting. Otherwise, can you imagine WWX with Chenqing on the Wen side? Ouch. Also, this sticks WWX with Wen Ning and Wen Qing early on and I LOVE THEM, so there’s that.

*WWX doesn’t come back after his first death, and LWJ achieves immortality because he’s stubbornly still looking/waiting for WWX. Two centuries pass (we’re going to ignore any technological advancements and replace them with cultivation advancements or something) and LWJ ends up befriending a nice lady cultivator who falls for him, and even though he only considers her a friend, he agrees to marry her. They have 1 very stubborn gay daughter (only from consummation sex which brings up a boatload of other problems) who somehow stumbles across a reborn!WWX with all his memories--daughter is hella bitter that her father clearly does not return her mother’s affections and that he is apparently pining for someone who is so long dead that people don’t actually remember his name (ie - people remember Yiling Laozu but not that his name was Wei Wuxian). But without knowing who he is, the daughter ends up liking WWX until she finds out the truth about who he is and drama ensues. Can you tell I’ve wanted to write this one so badly? I mean I could just about draft an outline, but I HAVE TO FOCUS ON MY ORIGINAL NOVEL I’M SORRY.

*Time Travel AU in which Yanli alone gets a do-over with all the future knowledge and fixes everything just by being her amazing self. I feel like she’d be a really keen manipulator.

*The story from NHS’s pov. I wanna read all his manipulations and him putting them into place. Is there anything like this out there? Because oh my GOD I wanna know what’s going through his head sometimes. I really, really do!

*Jiang Cheng/Wen Ning - AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS THIS WOULD BE AN ENTERTAINING SHIP? Just...I sort of tolerate the JC/LXC and JC/NHS pairings because they’re commonly used, but honestly, I’m not crazy about either one. However, WN is such a sweetheart and JC is such a hothead and there is so much opportunity for drama there. Also, in some cases depending on timeline...WN is, yunno, a corpse--a fixable thing if you weave in WWX’s involvement and make him and JC get along again. GIVE ME THAT. Like I don’t read much other than wangxian focused fic, but I would read the hell out of this (also you could easily balance those two pairings).

*Somewhere in the waiting gap, LWJ is given three tasks by a deity of some sort who promises to bring WWX back if he completes him...but these tasks have to UTTERLY go against LWJ’s character and completely destroy his reputation as Hanguang Jun. Honestly, this could go cracky or painfully dark.

*No idea how, but Mo Xuanyu manages to bring WWX back fully in-tact and they both get to live. WWX of course takes MXY under his wing, and together they avoid the notice of even LWJ for a lot longer than WWX did in canon. I would love to see them figuring out the whole JGY plot in the background and LWJ tailing them around just a little too late to the party each time a major event goes down until finding out in some kind of dramatic finale that WWX has been back for a while. I have yet to see characterization for MXY that I really like. Most people make him either ridiculously whiny or so much like WWX that they may as well be the same character. :/ So, uh, maybe a different approach? I mean MXY is allowed some complaints, he’s had a rough time of things, but come ON.

*Lan Wanji never finds Wen Yuan and poor widdle Shizui manages to survive into adolescence living on his own in the burial mounds...accompanied by the fragmented ghost of his Xian-gege who very slowly is pieced back together by A-Yuan, who has sort of naturally started using demonic cultivation and somehow develops a heroic reputation as a rogue cultivator. Why? Because he’s Shizui, and Shizui is SO PURE OK? Maybe he has a fascination with LWJ, even though his memories of Rich Gege are kind of fuzzy. Shizui matchmakes his two ridiculous dads. Oh and inquiry doesn’t work on WWX cuz his soul is shrouded by the resentful energy in the burial mounds.

*The Wen clan burns the Cloud Recesses to the ground around the same time WWX has lost his parents, but LWJ somehow escapes. Reportedly, everyone in GusuLan is now dead, but he somehow ends up in the same town as WWX. They meet and bond immediately. Maybe LWJ saves WWX from the dogs. Anyway, JFM never finds WWX, so he and LWJ grow up together in poverty, eventually teaching themselves cultivation and night hunting, until their fame grows so much that they catch the attention of the Wen clan (or something). Have them ridiculously dedicated to each other, already in love and thinking of themselves as cultivation partners. I want their bond to straight-up shock people. LET THEM BE SHAMELESS. LWJ would have to have a fake name and wear something other than white.

*LWJ and WWX figure out their relationship stuff a lot sooner and end up building a proper sect in the burial mounds. I want LWJ wearing WWX’s colors. I want demonic cultivation to work hand-in-hand with regular cultivation. I want them to find artifacts or books or something in the burial mounds indicating a civilization used to be there that also studied demonic cultivation, or maybe they actually find some long forgotten god/dess of demonic cultivation who empowers them in exchange for worship.

*LWJ was not whipped for protecting WWX, he was imprisoned for life, not in GusuLan, but in some godforsaken prison that is so intense no one in the clans really likes to talk about it. I want him flung into some hellprison with ghosts and demons, where only his cultivation keeps him alive (and relatively sane) for that decade-ish gap until WWX’s fragmented ghost somehow finds him. Of course, WWX realizes LWJ loves him, which triggers in WWX a want to finally come back to life. He finds a way back to the living world and rains hell upon the people who decided it was a good idea to imprison LWJ until someone finally tells him how to get to the prison. He frees LWJ and helps him recover while all the JGY stuff is going on the background. Wangxian returns to the cultivation world in time to stop that catastrophe. (Before LWJ is imprisoned, he makes LXC promise to take care of A-Yuan of course!)

*WWX gets flung into the burial mounds and embraces demonic cultivation, but realizes he has somehow bound himself to the awful place and can’t leave. Over time, he lures stragglers and refugees to the mounds, where he welcomes them to stay and live safely. Outside, the Sunshot Campaign is a failure and what remains of the sects bow in subservience to the Wen clan. Inflicted with some permanent disabilities from the war and left to run GusuLan now that his brother and uncle are dead (sorry Xichen), Lan Wanji never gets the chance to go looking for WWX. Thirteen years pass and WWX has absorbed so much resentful energy from the burial mounds that he is practically a part of it. Finally, he is able to leave, but the world he finds is much different from the one he remembers, and his health fades fast when he is outside of the mounds. Somehow, WWX figures out that demonic cultivation doesn’t damage the body/soul/temperament if somehow counterbalanced properly with a golden core--and since he doesn’t have one, he and LWJ do a soulbond thing so that their cores (WWX: demonic and LWJ: golden) balance each other. Then he can take on the Wens.

I could literally whip out ideas nonstop, but these are the big ones that have been just...beating on the walls of skull trying to get out. Of course, they don’t always account for everything, so more thought is needed. Anyway, if you write any of these, please let me know so I can read them, and of course a shoutout would be nice. c: My username on ao3 is the same as here. Enjoy~!

[keysmashchronicles]

my history in phandom and fandom

I’ve always been an avid reader. If I’d have been born twenty years later than I was and grew up in a time when every kid has tablet or a phone, that need for stories might have been filled by TV or other formats instead, but in my childhood years it was all about books, and visiting the library as often as possible. I often daydreamed about the characters in books the books I read, mostly egocentric thoughts of what it would be like if I were to somehow find myself in the stories I was reading. What would it be like to have them as my friends, to be part of those adventures? Of course, in typical Mary-Sue fashion, it wasn’t the real me that I imagined in those daydreams, but some idealised version that was cleverer and funnier and prettier and of course, someone all the other characters either envied or adored.

As I got older, and we moved beyond the stage of just having one TV in the house, my obsessive nature shifted to include TV shows as well as books. The first show that really caught my imagination was Dawson’s Creek. I loved it, the over-articulate teens with all their angsty problems heightened by their hormones going haywire, going through mental health issues and struggles with sexuality and of course, the classic love triangle. I couldn’t wait to tune in every week and catch up on what was happening in Capeside.

I’m not sure how it happened, but one day I was online on our cranky old computer and stumbled across some Dawson’s Creek fanfiction. I was amazed, and fascinated, and also terrified that someone in my family was going to walk in and catch me reading it. But I read every story on that website, and then started looking for more. I couldn’t believe there were other people out there like me, people who didn’t just watch a TV programme and then forget it about it until the following week.  There were others who thought about the characters in a TV show so much, it was almost like they became real. People who wanted to analyse every aspect of the relationships the characters had on screen, and also take these characters off into plots and stories and worlds that were nothing like what actually happened in the show, imagine them in endless different scenarios and see them experience every kind of emotion and think about how they’d react. People who wanted to write or read over and over again about the same characters because they found more and more to discover about them every time they did.I had found my happy place!

Over the years, the obsession with fanfic remained, but the focus of it shifted.I’d go through a cycle – discover a new fandom, immerse myself in it for maybe a year or two, then slowly lose interest. There would be a period where I wouldn’t read fic for a while, maybe 6 months or a year, and then all of a sudden, a new show would capture my attention and I’d be off and running again.

After my interest in Dawson’s Creek had run it’s course, the show that took its place for me was Buffy. As I recall, I had only watched a few episodes here and there and then a writer I was already reading started to post Buffy fics. I read a couple and realised that there must be much more to this show than I’d thought if it was inspiring such good writing. I think that obsession must have lasted a good 3-4 years, one of the longest I’ve had.  There was just so much good stuff for writers to work with - a whole cast of interesting well-developed characters, the good vs evil narrative, the endless possibilities of spells and demons and alternate universes and origin stories and the threat that the world might end at any moment….the list goes on. And also, there was the smut  - I’d read a fair amount in my previous fandom, but Buffy fics took it to a whole other level (this by the way being a major cause of the confusion I had when trying to work out my own sexuality - how can I be asexual? Have you seen my AO3 history???)

After that came the West Wing, followed by House, followed by the other behemoth of my fandom life, Sherlock. With all of these, although I read a hell of a lot of fic, that was always as far as my involvement in fandom went. I didn’t feel the need to join any fandom communities, in fact I don’t really think I would have known much about where or how to get involved if I’d wanted to. In the early days, the fic I read was on fan-hosted sites, with the aid of webrings to help you discover other authors. Then for a long time it was fanfiction.net, livejournal and finally AO3 where I read most of my fic today.

So how did I get into phanfic? In the aftermath of Sherlock series 4, it felt like my engagement with fic in that fandom came to a bit of a stop – there wasn’t really anywhere much to take the story in terms of canon, and a lot of people felt that the whole Eurus plotline had been kind of a jumping the shark moment. For myself, I’d got to that stage where it felt like there was nothing new under the sun. I was feeling the fatigue that always eventually came when I’d overread a fandom, and no matter how hard I’d try to find something to interest me, nothing seemed to capture my imagination any more.

I left the fic alone for quite a while, turning mostly back to traditionally published media – I dipped a toe back into Sherlock fic on occasion, read a bit of MCU here and there but nothing significant.

Then one evening in June 2019, I was scrolling through Twitter when I decided to check what was trending and saw a name I didn’t recognise – Daniel Howell. I had no idea who he was, but lots of other people were clearly very excited by something he’d done, so I thought I’d have a look and find out why. Usually when this happens, it turns the person is either on a reality TV show or plays sports of some kind,  but on this occasion I saw the words ‘YouTuber’ and ‘coming out video’ and it piqued my interest. The only experience I really had of watching YouTubers was through my step niece, when she’d had an obsession with Miranda Sings and we’d watched a lot of her videos together, including collabs, so I knew a few names but not much beyond that.

I clicked on Dan’s video, fully expecting that like with most random clicks, I’d watch for a minute or two before getting bored and looking for something else to occupy my attention, but that didn’t happen. The video was incredible and I was absolutely transfixed for the whole 45 minutes. I thought it was brilliant - the deeply personal story that was being told, the humour, the well-thought out and confidently delivered arguments – I don’t think I’d ever seen anything like it. As someone who had come to identify as asexual and panromantic but not until they were in their late 30s, and who was (is?) still in a place of trying to understand what that meant in my life, it was also hugely resonant to me on a personal level, helping me to realise the unacknowledged but damaging internalised acephobia and homophobia that I was still carrying with me.

I went to Dan’s channel and watched some of his videos, then was curious about that guy named Phil that he’d mentioned, so I watched some of his videos too. I came across the first PINOF and was completely charmed by it, by their rapport and silly humour and how they clearly felt so comfortable just to muck about and be themselves.

For a while I was happy just going through all the content on their channels. It didn’t really occur to me to look for fic until it was referenced in one of their videos. Up until then, RPF had really not been my thing – I’d seen some fics written about the actors who played characters in my various fandoms and I’d avoided them because it had made me feel uncomfortable about what they’d think if they saw them. I’d also scrolled past a lot of 1D and BTS fic when browsing on AO3 tags and to be honest, had had a pretty snobby opinion about it.

But having heard Dan’s story, and then seen dnp’s obvious connection in their videos, I was curious to see what the fans’ take had been on their relationship, and also to see what was being written about them now that Dan had come out. I looked to see if there was anything about them on AO3 and bam! There it was, my next fic obsession had grabbed hold of me and there wasn’t anything much I could do about it!

Since then, I’ve not only read a ton of fics, but even had a go at writing a few. It’s painful because they never come anywhere near the standard of the fics and writers I really admire. I have the desire to want to write well, but also a complete lack of the patience and dedication it takes to develop the necessary skill. But for the first time I didn’t let that stop me from publishing a few fics as I realised I was really writing for myself, to have an outlet for thoughts and ideas that had been going around in my head, and if anyone happened to read it, that was just a bonus.

Then through reading the Seven Basic Plots, I realised that what I’m more interested in at the moment than learning to write fics myself is to come to a greater understanding of how they work, and what exactly has been fuelling my fic obsession for over 20 years (wow....that was weird to think about! Such a long time!)

So that’s my history in fandom, and in phandom, and explains why reading a book about the nature of stories and their purpose made me immediately think that I wanted to examine those ideas in relation to something I know and love – phanfiction.

the seven basic plots // 1st plot - overcoming the monster

[cynnymonsnaps]

Let the Tides of Change Come

Pairing(s): Carlos de Vil/Jane/Oc, Ben/Mal, Evie/Doug, Gil/Jay

Word Count: 2,062

Summary: Sometimes the power to rewrite things comes in the form of jumping right into the Descendants universe and giving everyone a piece of your mind.

Doug's stereotypical nerdy band kid shtick? Out the window it goes. The adults not knowing how to do anything right? Not on my watch. Kids being stuck on a prison of an Island? You're all coming with me now.

For Micha, they've taken on the grueling task of heading to the surface to help teach the kids of Auradon and the Isle that it's okay to talk things out and to not give into the rules and expectations of the older generation.Will someone at least give these teens a moment to breath in between saving the kingdom please? Jesus.

[This series goes through all three movies as well as the main events of the books to fix some of the unexplained happenings in the timeline. A very long winded story to fill the void in my heart of there being no more Descendants. *sobs*]

Warnings: Mentions of drowning.

A/N: Posting this on tumblr too so it can reach more people, but welcome to my new series!  I’ve already got all the plot laid out in a doc on my computer so it’s all a matter of time to sit down and actually write the beast. Anyways, enjoy!

          From the darkened gloomy waters emerged Uma, daughter of Ursula, dressed to the nines in golden sea themed jewelry and a sequin dress with the Isle of the Lost behind her. Seeming to notice the camera she turned towards the screen, swaying to the waves of the ocean with a sneer across her lips. “What?” The teal haired girl who leaned in closer, her golden seashell necklace glowing in the night. “You didn’t think this was the end of the story. Did you?” She gave an evil cackle before slowly sinking back into the murky depths of the sea, leaving no trace of her in sight. Before I knew it, the screen faded to black and the credits were rolling as a cover of “Kiss the Girl” played. From the comfort of my wheelchair I lazily watched the credits all the way through, having watched the movie multiple times to know it was the end.

           I loved the Descendants series with all my heart. From its catchy music, to it’s colorful and eye-catching costume design, to the characters who grew alongside me as I aged. Even through all its little plot holes and Disney-ified solutions I had stuck with the series for a whopping 4 years, never losing the passion I always had for it. There was something about the concept of the next generation of Fairy Tale characters and sticking them in a multiverse that was so eye catching. It was the same reason I liked Every After High, RWBY, Once Upon a Time and the many other iterations of the same concept. Which was why I felt pretty frustrated with Disney and how they wrote some of their characters. True, Descendants was marketed to a children’s audience, so there had to be some liberties taken and some things had to be dumbed down, but I wished they had done more with the story and its characters. There were so many ideas that could’ve been bounced off, it was almost a goldmine of storytelling.

Take Doug, son of Dopey, for example. He was always portrayed as a nerdy band kid who didn’t know how to get the girl he liked without being creepy and clingy. He had very plain fashion sense and hardly ever spoke to help the plot in anyway. A basic throw away character in all reality. I could see through, that Doug was just as silly as his father in his own story and always seemed to pop out more when dance scenes come on. He would move his body in a way that seemed like there was a firecracker that wanted to be let out, sharp moments here, exaggerated expressions there. The boy knew how to have fun and it was such a shame that the writers hadn’t let it shine through his personality or lines. Such a waste of material.

I had much hope that Descendants 3 would somehow right these wrongs though. The release date was nearing, and I’ve been saving myself from any spoilers like the trailers or any music videos that Disney released. I wanted to have a fresh pair of eyes when I dove straight in. And if anything, I knew that I’d have a fun time just experiencing the last movie in the trilogy.

           Stretching out my tired body, I got up to look at the digital clock on the table. A bright “2:00 AM” blinked back at me and I knew it was time to head to bed. I was always a night owl, so it was common for me to stay up until the early morning, but the premier was only a few days away and I needed to fix my chaotic sleep schedule before then. How else could I watch along with the cast all the way through? Closing everything off I gave one last yawn before headed to bed and falling into the soft sheets. Drifting to sleep faster than I expected, I hadn’t even realize anything was amiss when I felt the brush of liquid surround me. It was when I felt the water gently rise when I furrowed my brows in confusion. “Funny. For a dream this kind feels a little too real.”

I tried to open my eyes to wake up, but found a heavy force keeping them shut. “Huh?” Trying to move my arms this time, it felt like no matter how hard I tried to raise them, some sort of pressure was keeping them locked to my sides. Alarm bells were ringing in my head and I felt panic rip through me as the water rose faster. “Fuck! Is this how I’m gonna die? Death by drowning in my sleep?” With my effort to break free failing and the feeling of water rising almost past my face, I couldn’t help but take in a deep breath before fully being submerged. The whole situation filled me with dread as I was left helpless with nothing to do but wait for the end to come.

But it never did.

-

In my wait I could hear the distant muffled call of a name above me.

“-ha”

A sense of relief washed through me as the voice called out again seeming a little closer than before.

“-cha.”

If only I could just move something, anything to catch their attention, maybe they would be able to save me from this nightmare. With one last try I went to get up, putting every inch of energy into my limbs.

“Micha!” A hand shot through the water, grabbing onto my arms and helping me break through the surface. I couldn’t help but gasp for air and flail my arms to try to keep afloat, but what was I to do when I almost drowned? “Calm down child! You’ve only swum down for a few moments and you act like you’ve been under for decades. If you do not calm down, you will take in the water.” The voice scolded with a hint of concern. Just like the voice said I accidentally gasped a bit of water in my freak out and made myself cough in an attempt to get it all out again. “By the gods, let’s just get you to shore so you can collect yourself.” The voice huffed. Once again, I was pulled along in the water, kicking my legs weakly to try to get back to shore as fast as I could.

           Trudging out of the water I laid down on the cool earth, facing the sky as I tried to slowly fill my lungs with air again. The air was surprisingly fresh, and, in the distance, I could actually hear the sounds of wildlife. They helped me ground myself and it almost felt like the heavy presence I’d felt in the water disappeared into thin air. At least that nightmare of a situation was over now.  As I sighed in relief, having a little moment to myself before I felt the voice kneel down beside me. “Have you collected yourself?” The voice called out again. Opening my eyes, I was greeted by a man who looked to be in his late twenties frowning down at me. He had long piercing white hair that pooled over his shoulders and soft indigo blue eyes that seemed to make me feel safe and secure. His skin was a russet, reddish-brown and there seemed to be blue tattoos marking his right pec. There was a slight familiar feeling about him and his tattoos, but I couldn’t quite place my finger on it. “You usually never lose yourself when venturing the waves. Was there something that frightened you?”

           “Uhh.” You awkwardly let out unsure how to answer exactly. My hesitation caused his frown lines to grow harsher, like he’d been frowning for a long time. Not wanting to anger him I quickly sat up, but because of my fast motions I got a little lightheaded. He immediately steadied me with a firm grip and his eyebrows seemed to furrow. If he kept that up, he’d probably get so many forehead wrinkles. I looked around where the two of us were and found that we were somewhere I’ve never been before. “Where… uh.” I coughed out awkwardly. “Where are we?” He gave me an incredulous look, like maybe the water had gotten to my head or something. I didn’t really know what to say though. I’ve never been to such an open and natural place with waterfalls and stone ruins before, having been surrounded by tall buildings and concrete streets my whole life.

           “Michael, we are in Atlantis near one of the coves you love to explore ever since you were a child. Do you not remember that?” The man gives me a suspicious look when I almost went to shake my head but quickly nod when I caught myself. I’ve heard of Atlantis before, having read it in my history books from school, but there was no way I’ve ever been here before in my life. And who exactly was this Michael? I heard him calling me Micha earlier too, but that wasn’t my name. I quickly shake myself out of his grasp and go to the edge of the water, being careful not to fall in. Didn’t want another drowning spell when I had just woken up.

           I couldn’t believe my eyes. On the surface of the water I saw a similar pair of soft surprised indigo eyes staring back at me. A soaking met mop of white hair on my head as lines of the same blue tattoos ran just under my right eye and my left shoulder. My skin color was the same russet reddish-brown as the man’s and I looked to be about 10 or so. I reached down just to make sure this wasn’t a hallucination and as I did, the little girl in the reflection did the same, causing the surface to ripple. As I did so a little blue crystal with a dim glow dangled in front of me. Wait a minute.

White hair,

Blue eyes,

Glowing blue crystal,

Atlantis.

Oh my god. Was I in the lost empire of Atlantis right now? Did I literally get transport into the Disney universe? But this isn’t my body… Oh my Jesus and a fry stick! Did I die and get put into someone else’s body?!?

           “Did you hit your head on one of the rocks when you swam down there?” Out of nowhere the stranger took my head into his hands and searched for any bumps or bleeding while I was having another mini freak out. He slightly man handled me here and there which I didn’t take too kindly towards. When he found nothing, he went to feel my forehead as if I could have gotten a fever in the short time I had been in the water. “You seem alright physically, and your temperature is just fine. Maybe you’re gotten a screw loose?”

           “Hey!” I brush off his hand and give a small scoff, in response he chuckled to himself. I gave him a little glare and proceeded to ring out my hair a little. I still didn’t know who he was and wasn’t too keen on letting him get too close, but at least I now knew where I was. Now the question was, why was I in Atlantis?

           The stranger watched as I made some distance between us and sigh. He didn’t know what I was thinking exactly but with how strange I was acting it he thought it was best not to do anything too extreme. He also went to ring out his hair and went to grab us some towels that were lying to the side. He handed me one before making speaking up again. “We should head back to where Mother and Father are. I’m sure they could come to a better conclusion as to what is going on then I can.” He motioned for me to follow him and slowly started to make his way over to an open path. I was reluctant to follow him at first, but at the mention of “Mother and Father” the idea of going along with him wasn’t too bad if somehow, I could get these new parents of mine to introduce me to Milo and Kida.

I just hoped they were still around for me to talk to.

[marlettwrites]

So I think maybe I should step away from ACOH for a bit.

I’m really getting nowhere with this project, and I’m going to continue to get nowhere if I keep trying to force myself to work on it.

In the meantime, I have a few (like. I dunno. 6??) other projects in the works. I haven’t been focusing on them at all, but I think it’s time. I need to work on something else to get my brain gears moving again.

I’ll leave a short description of my other projects below the cut, and if you want, you can comment which one you’re most interested in. It will help me decide what to work on next. If not, then keep scrolling I guess.

Witch Hazel: Hazel is bad at magic. Like, really bad at magic. She’s set her apartment on fire more than once, and her familiar Sammy never talks to her. In fact, Hazel is beginning to wonder if magic actually exists, or if her best friend Amanda has simply been playing an elaborate prank on her this whole time.

That is, until she discovers a Book of Shadows that used to belong to the one and only (important and very powerful witch character who is yet to be named). Suddenly, all the spells Hazel attempts are finally coming out right. Nothing is catching fire, and nobody has complained to the manager about her all week.

But something sinister lurks in the book. Hazel finds she is losing more and more time. People are upset at her for things she can’t remember doing, and the book keeps turning up in places where it shouldn’t be. Hazel knows something is trying to take her place, but it might already be too late.

Unnamed Portal Fantasy: I don’t have a lot for this one, but basically an angry teen decides to run away from home and ends up in an alternate universe, when he only meant to stay away for an hour or so. Oop.

That one with the Demons: Cadence is a closeted trans girl trying to figure out how to come out to her dad. On the day that she finally works up the courage, she comes home to discover her house in shambles and her father and younger brother missing.

Unbeknownst to Cadence, strange creatures still lurk in the crevices of her home. A stranger named Lucas agrees to teach her to fight them and to help her get her dad and brother back. But first, they need to go through (name of secret agency created to fight the creatures), which is the organization that Lucas works for. 

But (redacted) denies the request to send out troops to search, claiming it a waste of time and resources. Cadence refuses to let that stop her from saving her family.

Mermay or something: Landon absolutely refuses to believe that the soft squishy yellow-haired human could possibly be their soulmate.

Everything would have been fine if Dominic hadn’t lost Landon’s Soul Gem, of that, they were certain. But of course, since Dominic lost it, it had to land on the beach. And of course, as is the way of fate, a human had to discover it lying there. And of course, that human had to be the one being on Earth that could wear their Soul Gem without shattering it.

I hate humans, Landon thinks as they shift from tail to legs for the first time in over seven years. And this one is not for me.

Elsie and the Monstrous Woods: Elsie knows something is wrong when Blake doesn’t knock on her door at noon on Thursday.

He’d gone to the Woods, of course. Blake always did like to go the Woods, even if it was forbidden. But he always came back, and he always gave her door a nice ‘ratta tat tat’ at noon sharp.

Elsie knows something is wrong when she sees Blake in the market the next day and he ignores her calling his name. Blake hasn’t visited since that day he left, and he never seems to recognize her.

The smile sits on his face, all wrong-like. It’s his, but it ain’t. That’s his face right there, for sure, but it ain’t Blake’s soul peeking through.

Elsie can’t say for sure what came through the woods last night. But she knows it ain’t Blake.

Katelyn Price and others: Some kind of superhero story I think.

Kate receives a gift and a story from her grandmother. The gift (two traditionally carved native Hawaiian necklaces) is supposed to contain the power of two elements. One contains the ocean, the other, a storm. Or so her grandmother says in the form of a warning: don’t let it consume you.

Kate doesn’t believe in magic. She’s fourteen. Too old for that baby stuff. She keeps one necklace for herself and gifts the other to her best friend (used to be called Lorelei, but is in the market for a new name). But then, weird things start happening. Waters rise at her anger and the rain never seems to make her cold the way it used to.

It isn’t until [best friend] excitedly shows off her own powers that Kate realizes what’s happened. She begs her to give the necklace back. Tells her that what they’re meddling with is dangerous.

But [best friend] likes the way the power makes her feel. She’s not going to give it back without a fight.

Thank you for reading!

Taglist:

@kai-writesstuff @runningonrain @imaghostwriter @writingnosefreak @planets-and-prose @marvel-and-writing @thatoneaceinthecorner @metaphors-and-melodrama @smudged-glasses-writing @jacquilich @marie-writess

If you would like to be added to or removed from the taglist, please let me know in a comment below. :)