#buddie fluff

[violentdelightsandviolentends]

The Look of Love.

Synopsis - You, Buck and Eddie are absolutely, undeniably, head over heels in love with each other. It seems like everyone can see it except for the three of you.

Pairing - Evan Buckley x Female Reader x Eddie Diaz

Warnings - none!! just idiots in love.

Word Count - 1k

Author's Note - oh my buddie heart was bursting while writing this. whenever I watch 911, I always think about how easy it'd be to be friends (or more than) with eddie and buck. and then this was born!! hope you enjoy reading this sweetness as much as I enjoyed writing it <3

as always, reblogs, comments and feedback (even anonymous feedback!!) are immensely appreciated!! your reblogs are the only way to circulate my fics, which keeps me going <3

Masterlist. Inbox.

Buck twirls you around, strong arms circling your waist. Your feet don't touch the ground as he spins you, the skirt of your dress billowing in the breeze. You lean back in his hold, and catch sight of Eddie throwing Christopher up in the air, both of them laughing.

Buck puts you down and grins at you, Cheshire cat smile bright and blinding. You smooth your hands across his chest, flattening out his crisp white dress shirt where you've crinkled it. You tug at his bow tie, straightening it gently. Your gaze meets his, and you beam at him.

"Have I told you how handsome you look tonight, Evan Buckley?" you tease, wrapping your arms around his neck to sway with him. There's a smooth, jazzy melody echoing through the huge backyard, illuminated by golden, twinkling lights.

He quirks a brow at you cheekily before answering.

"I wouldn't mind hearing it again."

"I'm sure you wouldn't," you laugh, shrieking as he dips you backwards quickly.

"Well, you look very handsome. I like you in a tux."

You swear you see him blush slightly, heat creeping across his cheeks. He finds his confidence again, sliding his hands across the exposed skin of your back slowly.

"You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen," he tells you sincerely, eyes never leaving yours. "I should tell you that more often."

"Yes, you should," you tease, grinning at him.

You take notice of his smile, his relaxed shoulders, the way he's swaying with you effortlessly.

"You love weddings, don't you?"

"Hell yeah I do!" he replies delightedly. "Everyone I love all in one place, dancing, music... what more could you want?"

You can't wipe the smile off your face. He's right. The entire 118 is here, together as a family. Everyone is happy, excited to be celebrating Bobby and Athena's vow renewal. It's not often you all get to leave work at work and enjoy yourselves completely. You plan to make the most of every single second.

You feel two warm hands find your hips from behind, instantly leaning back into the broad chest behind you, knowing who it is immediately.

"Hola, Mr Diaz."

"Hola, hermosa."

"You gonna keep her all to yourself all night, Buckley?" he asks, wrapping his arms around you, over the top of where Bucks are already resting. You're sandwiched between the two of them, completely content.

"We were avoiding you and your terrible dance moves," Buck jokes, the three of you swaying together now.

"Are you hearing this?" Eddie asks incredulously, chuckling into your ear. "My terrible dance moves?"

"Don't listen to him, Eds. His ego lies to him."

"It's called confidence! Sorry if I have faith in my dance moves!"

The three of you laugh, bodies and souls tangled and intertwined on the dance floor.

Across the backyard, Chimney and Hen are sat at their table, watching you, Buck and Eddie move to the music, arms wrapped around one another.

"They really love each other, don't they?"

"Oh, yeah," Hen laughs. "Wish they'd all just admit it."

Chimney looks at his best friend in confusion, brows quirked and face crumpled.

"... What?"

"Oh, come on, Chim," Hen chuckles. "It's twenty twenty three. Get with the program."

"You mean, like, love love," Chim confirms, still puzzled.

"Yes, Howie. Love love. In love. The three of them are completely in love."

Chimney processes for a moment, before a light bulb goes off in his head.

"Oh, shit!" he laughs. "They totally are!"

"Damn, men are oblivious. How am I the only one that's noticed?"

"You aren't," Bobby and Athena say in unison, pulling out chairs to sit at the table.

"But we can't rush them. Good things like this take time," Athena offers.

Bobby glances over at the dance floor. You're holding Buck and Eddie's hands, and Chris is too, the four of you dancing and laughing. He smiles for moment, before speaking.

"You know they basically live together?"

When he's met with confused faces, he continues.

"They all crash at Eddie's place with Christopher so often, they've practically moved in. Buck hasn't slept in his own apartment in months."

"I mean, how do you even... navigate something like that? The three of them? It's so complicated," Chimney asks genuinely.

"They'll figure it out," Bobby assures. "They always do."

With that, he rises from his chair and across the yard. He scoops Christopher up into his arms, promising him cake and soda, much to Eddie's dismay. He winks at Buck before carrying Chris away, leaving the three of you alone.

Eddie surprises you by grabbing your hand and then Bucks, pulling you both away from the crowd.

"Come on. I wanna show you something."

He leads you up and into the guest bathroom of the house, rolling his eyes at you and Bucks suggestive comments. He's first to climb out the window and onto the roof, making sure you get through safely in your dress.

The three of you sit and watch your friends in the yard below, quietly reflecting. You're suddenly aware of the way you're sandwiched in between them again, thighs pressed together. You lean left and rest your head on Eddie's shoulder, interlinking your right hand with Bucks.

"How lucky am I?" you breathe. "To be surrounded by so much love."

Eddie rests his head atop of yours, smiling as he watches Buck lean in to rest his on your shoulder. The three of you exhale.

"We're the lucky ones," Buck murmurs. "I never thought I'd have this."

"Well you do," Eddie reassures. "And we're not going anywhere, Buckley."

"He's right, Buck. We're not going anywhere. Ever."

Evan sits up to kiss you on the cheek, before leaning over you and doing the same to Eddie.

The three of you sit on the roof, bodies and souls intertwined, illuminated by the moonlight. How lucky you are, to be surrounded by so much love.

[wikiangela]

you can see it with the lights out (you are in love)

huge thank you to @honestlydarkprincess for hyping up all the snippets I sent you, ily haha <33

rating: G

words: 4.9k

summary: Turns out, Natalia does see Buck, though maybe not in the way he expected. In which Natalia realizes Buck's in love with Eddie and help him see it, too.

[read on Ao3]

___

It’s a quiet evening, the only sounds in the loft are the TV playing some dumb reality show, and the sounds of chewing, as Buck and Natalia eat their take-out dinner. Buck’s hunched over the coffee table, constantly shifting on the uncomfortable couch, eyes glued to the TV, as he’s devouring his meal. He’s aware of Natalia curled up on the other side of the couch, poking at her food and staring off into nothing, deep in thought. He leaves her to it, if she wants to tell him what’s bothering her, she will. Or maybe he’ll ask later.

They haven’t spoken in what feels like hours, just sitting there silently, keeping each other company. It’s been happening more and more often, with Natalia getting lost in her thoughts, and Buck weirdly not being the one to break the silence. He doesn’t mind it with her. It’s nice, pleasant. He really likes spending time with her, even if it’s just this. It’s comfortable. This relationship, just being with Natalia, feels comfortable. 

The silence is finally interrupted by Buck’s phone pinging with a text message. It’s laying on the coffee table and the screen lights up, so Buck peeks at it, and can feel an involuntary smile on his face when he sees Eddie’s name. He quickly picks up the phone to read the text and respond, when suddenly he hears Natalia speak up.

“Oh.” she whispers. He looks up at her, phone still in hand, thumb hovering over the text notification, chewing the last bite of his food, and she looks like she just had some sort of breakthrough. “Are you in love with Eddie?” she asks point blank, sounding curious, or like she already knows the answer, and Buck almost chokes on his food, coughing and dropping his phone back onto the table, reaching for his drink. 

“Wh- what?” Buck manages to exclaim once he’s pretty sure he won’t die. “Shit, why- where did this even come from?” he asks incredulously.

[read more on Ao3]

[911onabc]

The one where Buck has Celiac Disease

general audiences | evan "buck" buckley/eddie diaz | 3.3k

for @butchdiaz

summary: Buck has celiac disease. He’s also in love with his best friend. His best friend who has a girlfriend. Somehow, these things keep colliding.

OR: 3 + 1 times Eddie gets Buck gluten free food.

“Isn’t this nice of her?” Chimney asked, picking up a brownie from the tray that Marisol had brought into the station. It had been a clear attempt to re-introduce herself to the team as Eddie’s girlfriend. The two of them had been dating for a few months now, long enough that the two of them could officially be referred to as a couple. 

Marisol was really nice, and fun, and great with Chris and all that. Buck couldn’t find a reason to hate her.

Well, at least he had a reason to hate the brownies. 

“No.” Buck frowned, glaring at the tray of perfectly cut brownies. 

“Oh, come on,” Chimney rolled his eyes. “Just because you can’t eat them doesn’t mean it wasn’t nice of her.”

“It’s the principle of the thing,” Buck explained. “I can’t be appreciative of something I can’t even have .”

Read More on ao3

[meepmoopdraws2]

“Eddie?”

“Mm”

“Baby you’re snoring”

*Eddie turns around*

“Evan my love?”

“Yeah?”

“I hate to break it to you but so are you babe”

“Oh”

Normally I post on IG first but I’m gonna post here because its apart of a mini comic that I haven’t finished.

[dinogoose]

‘cause there’s no better love

“Hey- um- can I…?” Eddie trails off gesturing his hands around awkwardly. Then he stops, his arms limp at his sides as he stares into Buck’s eyes, pleading with him.

Buck has no clue what he’s asking for, but he’d give Eddie anything in the entire world, including his beating heart, even if he had to rip it from his own body.

“Yeah man, of course.” He responds easily. Eddie sighs, relieved before he sits down on the couch next to Buck, grabbing his right hand. He holds it gently, as if it’s something precious, breakable. Two of his fingers drift to Buck’s pulse point, and Buck can hear Eddie counting under his breath.

(or, eddie keeps holding buck's hand, and buck lets him)

The rain pitter-patters steadily against the windows, the streaks of water falling quicker and quicker, as it picks up into a heavier downpour.

Droplets race one another down the glass, the water creating a faux mosaic on the glass. It’s beautiful.

Buck is watching it because, despite everything, it still calms him.

Buck knows he’s safe, and knows he has no reason to be afraid because he’s inside Eddie’s house, surrounded by the warmth that is the Diaz’ home. Sitting on their old blue couch, with the springs that dig right into your spine, letting Buck know he’s alive and well.

He closes his eyes, leaning his head back onto the couch, listening to the thunder roll in when the sound of scuffling in the kitchen catches his attention.

The distinct clatter of someone dropping a plate loudly echoes through the house, and Buck’s just about to get up, to check if Eddie’s okay, but before he can Eddie rushes into the room, coming to a stop in front of Buck.

Eddie’s posture is tense, shoulders taut, as he examines Buck. His eyes are frantic in their movements, his gaze traveling up and down Buck repeatedly, before he finally settles for looking into Buck’s own eyes.

The room was silent other than the rain outside, and Eddie’s heavy breathing.

The brunet reaches out, a small movement Buck would’ve missed if he wasn’t watching so closely. Eddie opens his mouth,

“Hey- um- can I…?” He trails off gesturing his hands around awkwardly. Then Eddie stops, his arms limp at his sides as he stares into Buck’s eyes, pleading with him.

Buck has no clue what he’s asking for, but he’d give Eddie anything in the entire world, including his beating heart, even if he had to rip it from his own body.

“Yeah man, of course.” He responds easily. Eddie sighs, relieved before he sits down on the couch next to Buck, grabbing his right hand. He holds it gently, as if it’s something precious, breakable. Two of his fingers drift to Buck’s pulse point, and Buck can hear Eddie counting under his breath.

Buck decides to lift both of their hands to his chest, so Eddie can feel his heart fully. This seems to further alleviate his tension as he slumps into Buck’s side, still counting.

His breathing returns to normal, and eventually, he stops counting- but he doesn’t let go. If anything Eddie’s grip on his hand tightens, almost as if he’s afraid to let go. (Buck is too, so very afraid)

So, they sit together, hand in hand, riding the storm out. Safe.

—

Buck would be lying if he told you he didn’t think about holding Eddie’s hand (or kissing him or holding him or touching him-) but Buck was pretty sure that was just a one-off thing. Comfort Eddie had needed, that Buck was absolutely happy to provide.

Except now Buck cannot stop staring at his hands. Whether he’s working out and Buck gets to see his arms flex, the veins in his hands popping, or if he’s working on a patient, years of skill clear, as those big strong hands are deft and gentle. Even if he’s just holding a mug, Buck can’t help himself.

He yearns for Eddie, and he feels himself longing to hold his hand again.

But, Buck knows it was a one-time thing. Or at least, he thought it was.

Until one day, he’s driving Eddie to work. (because regardless of what he tells you, Eddie loathes driving) He’s got one hand on the steering wheel, the other waving around dramatically as he tells Eddie a story.

“And then Thena’ tells me ‘don’t go chasing waterfalls’, which I’m still not quite sure what that means-“ he’s gesticulating all around- as he often does when he’s talking- when Eddie just grabs his hand mid-air, lacing their fingers together, before bringing their hands down to rest on his thigh.

Buck almost swerves into oncoming traffic. He doesn’t because he’s a phenomenal driver, but when the guy you’re in love with holds your hand (again!) that feels like an appropriate reaction.

Instead, Buck side-eyes Eddie, who is still intently watching him.

The older man squeezes his hand, prompting him to continue the story, and so Buck shakes away any confusion, squeezes back, and continues.

“Anyways, I drive the truck around looking for the house this little girl is in-“

—

It becomes a thing.

Eddie takes his hand into his at any given moment, (even once at work which Buck is sure he will hear about until the day he dies) and holds it, sometimes gently rubbing circles over the calluses and scars that rest on his skin.

Buck never asks- mostly because he’s afraid it will stop. He just enjoys the warmth and weight in his hand. He’s a tactile person, always has been, and his favorite person in the entire world is Eddie, so it’s not like this has been a hardship.

Buck is just… confused. Now despite very popular opinion, Buck isn’t dumb. (he has his moments, but give him a break, okay?) He knows how he feels about Eddie. Knows that he loves Eddie, every petty, grumpy, pain-in-the-ass part. The part that can’t even form a sentence before he has two cups of coffee, the part that once told his phone to ‘go fuck yourself’, the part that’s a wonderful dad to his spectacular son, all the parts that make him, him.

Buck never understood how to love until Eddie came into his life.

And so he also knows- or at least is pretty sure- that Eddie feels something back for him.

—

Everything finally comes to a head, on a very quiet night.

Christopher is over at a friend's house, enjoying what Buck assumes is a very chaotic birthday party. (because come on, they’re pre-teen boys)

Buck and Eddie are watching some shitty action movie, drinking beers, and surprise surprise, holding hands.

The credits roll, and Buck prepares himself to let go, wish Eddie goodnight, and go to sleep alone.

When instead, Eddie stands up without dropping his hand and tugs Buck up with him.

“Let’s go to bed.” Is all he says before he’s leading Buck down the hall, into his bedroom.

Buck’s already in his sleep clothes, having been anticipating staying over on the couch.

So he just hovers as Eddie changes into an old t-shirt and basketball shorts. He totally doesn’t admire the hard lines of his back or the way his thighs look-

“You gonna get in?” Eddie asks, already in bed, his eyes visibly twinkling even in the dark. Buck feels his face heat, but slides in next to him stiffly.

Eddie bullies him until they are laying face to face, hands clasped together between them. Buck takes a moment to admire the planes of Eddie’s face, the slope of his nose, and the definition of his jaw.

His resolve slips the longer he looks at Eddie, and he knows that even if he falls Eddie will catch him (and he fell long, long ago).

“I love you.” Buck whispers into the space between them.

The words are reverent and quiet, a confession, but not a secret.

Buck‘s love for Eddie bleeds into everything he does, every action he makes, every word he says, so even if this is the first time he’s said it out loud, it has never been hidden.

Eddie brings his other hand over to gently cup Buck’s face, “I love you too.”

“Is that why you keep holding my hand?” Buck can’t help but tease, Eddie rolls his eyes, but the smile on his face is far too fond for it to hold any heat.

“Yeah, I guess so.” He pauses, searching for his next words, “I needed the reassurance that you were still here, still alive. And then, I couldn’t stop holding your hand, which I know sounds ridiculous, but I can’t help it, I love you.”

Buck laughs, not at him but with him, because he gets it. Love is beautiful, all-consuming, and so very stupid.

The brunette leans forward until their foreheads are pressed together.

Buck tilts his head slightly upward, lips brushing Eddie’s.

Their first kiss is soft and slow, the exploration of lips attempting to convey the love that has been simmering for so long.

Once they break apart, they don’t go far, hands still intertwined, faces inches from one another.

“I’ll always be here,” Buck promises, “you know that right?”

Their job is unpredictable but that isn’t what Buck’s promising, he’s promising to fight for Eddie for their family, to always be there, here for them. Buck needs Eddie to understand that.

Eddie’s eyes search his before he nods, “I know.”

Buck smirks at him cheekily, “Alright, then you can keep holding my hand.”

(here it is, the buddie hand holding fic! hope it lived up to expectations. see you soon :])

[donationwayne]

Response Time (2k) Oneshot

Just realized I also never posted this fic over here SO. I am posting it now. Anyways, tooth rotting fluff before I start posting the myriad of angsty!buck fics i have locked and loaded

Read on A03 here

SUMMARY

The 118 respond to a call, which isn’t unusual in itself. But it might explain a lot to Probational Firefighter Evan Buckley’s new crew. In which the 118 meet Eddie and Chris for the first time.

“Buck, what are you doing at home? You still have at least another 12 hours before you’re supposed to be here,” Eddie points out in confusion, he glances at the stove to double-check the time. When Eddie finally turns to look at Buck, the sight of his husband in turnout gear finally makes him pause.

"Well, you see, I’m here 12 hours before the end of my shift because our neighbors called the fire department on you,” Buck replies, unimpressed.

“Are you fucking kidding me? They called the fire department?” Eddie complained in a bitchy tone. “It was only a small stove fire. I’ve already gotten it handled. There were only a few flames. Maybe they should mind their business.”

“I think most people, me included, prefer erring on the side of caution when it comes to smoke billowing out of open windows, Eddie.”

[iltrpls]

summary :

He nods his head, “Yeah, yeah I know.” Eddie lets out a sigh, “But she asks me if I'm dating someone every time we talk, you know?” he briefly look up to him and look away immediately, as if he got caught or something, “Then my dad scolds her about it, they argue, one of my tia or tio hears about it, they all go off and theorize how good it’d be if i just moved back there.” he shakes his head, incredulous.

“At least they’re not going off about how sad looking you are or lonely.”

Eddie throws his head back dramatically, sighing loud, “Urgh!”

The words come out of him before he even notices it.

“Baby.” Buck calls him.

The words visibly freeze both of them into place. Buck’s stomach drops the same way it does when you miss a step and almost fall down. He swallows around it, “I mean,” he says, chuckling, rising up and slapping his hand on his legs, “Stop whining like a baby, get yourself ready and let's go. I can’t drive you to the airport if you’re not ready!

OR : five times where the pet name “baby” is used while they’re not together and one where they are.

[honestlydarkprincess]

gambling for riches (your kisses)

buck/eddie || rated T || words: 980 || 6x13 spoilers

“I can’t believe she didn’t invite me back,” Buck pouted.

“Well, you did wipe the floor with them,” Eddie chuckled, an easy smile on his face. “And technically, she did invite you back. Just not until your magical math powers are gone.”

“Maybe they aren’t going to go anywhere,” Buck contemplated. “Maybe I’m just always going to be good at math from now on.”

“Well, if that’s the case then that works out great for me,” Eddie mused. “You can help Christopher with all his math homework.”

“Deal.” Buck grinned. It didn’t escape him that when Christopher was struggling with math when Eddie was dating Ana, Eddie had Ana teach him the math. But here was Eddie saying that Buck could handle helping Chris all by himself. It made him feel warm, and he couldn’t help but read into it at least a little bit. It had to mean something, right?

Or, the one where they KISS after their lil poker date. That's it, that's the fic.

read on ao3

[fionaswhvre]

What Would You Do If They Never Found Us Out?

Buddie | 5.4k | Explicit

Eddie moans in his ears, Buck's enthusiasm driving his thrusts. They push and pull, chase and relent, hold and release. Eddie looks at Buck like he hung the moon, like the sun only shines because of him. They are close, so close and Buck is moaning and writhing, body going pliant under Eddie's, ready to chase that high with his boyfriend when suddenly the door opens with a bang, a sliver of light enters in the dark room, the tiny sliver of ray bright enough to blind Buck. Eddie's thrusts falter and then stops as he slowly turns his head to look at their interruption, horror streaked across his face.

"What the fuck-"

"Holy fucking-"

"Hell no-"

"Motherf-"

Curse words fly everywhere, from four different voices, merging with each other through the similar shock and disgust written all over them.

Buck squints his eyes to see Hen and Chimney standing at the door, mouths open, eyes wide, tiny gasps pouring out of their lips.

OR

Eddie and Buck are secretly dating, until they get caught

Read on AO3

[flowersfromautumn]

come back, be here

5 times Buck hated his name and 1 time he didn’t mind it so much.

tw: use of explicit language. nothing else major i don’t think? like slight mention of parental neglect from bucks parents and mentions of daniel as well as the fire truck incident but other than that i think it’s okay.

1

Margaret Buckley gave birth to a son on the 19th of August 1991, five years after she thought her family was complete.

For the first two weeks of his life, Buck didn’t have a name. Simply known as “the baby”, almost as though his parents were already trying to separate themselves from his existence.

It was a six year old Daniel who gave him his name, after Margaret and Philip didn’t care enough to decide.

He was christened Evan Daniel Buckley on the 4th of September that same year.

Two weeks later, his older brother was gone, and with him, his mothers perceived warmth and his fathers everlasting patience. With him, any hope Buck ever could’ve had of his parents love. His name, his face, his existence was a reminder of the son they loved but still lost and the son they never wanted but were stuck with.

Eight years later he lost his sister- and the only positive influence in his life- for the first time to university. Three years later he lost her again to marriage.

It was around then his parents stopped calling him his name. Or any name at all.

It was around then that he became a ghost in his home.

It was around then he stopped liking his name.

2

Stephanie was the best thing to happen to him in Peru. The bartending gig was sweet, yeah, but Stephanie? She was a firecracker full of late nights and early mornings and bottomless Margaritas. Her laugh made Buck think he understood love for the first time.

So when she revealed she’d found a job in Poland that she was going to take, he was fully prepared to start packing before she’d even finished her sentence.

It was when she sent him a small smile with pity shining in her dark eyes that he knew. They weren’t on the same page. Probably weren’t even in the same book.

“Evan.” She began, in a way that made him feel like he was eleven all over again, standing in the kitchen while his mum explains that her and Philip are really busy and can’t make his baseball match and why are you being so selfish? “This has been fun. You’re a great guy, but you’re not someone I’m wanting long-term.”

And wasn’t that the very crux of the matter? He was never someone anyone wanted “long-term”. He hadn’t spoken to his own parents since he left home two years ago without a second glance, hadn’t talked to Maddie since she moved to Boston with Doug (the unanswered postcards didn’t count).

Long-term was, apparently, fantasy for him.

“Take care, Evan.” Steph said, right as she closed the door behind him for the last time.

It was then that he decided he needed a new name. A new life.

His feet landed on the tarmac of LAX Airport at 3pm the next day as he disembarked the plane. He took a deep, steadying breath as a warm breath ruffled his hair and hoped that, if he was lucky, this would be his very last beginning.

3

It took him 6 months to decide to enrol in the LAFD training academy, and by that time he’d almost burnt through his savings (LA was fucking expensive), but as he clicked ‘submit’ on his online application, he felt a sense of accomplishment that he’d never truly allowed himself to feel.

There were two other Evan’s in his class at the Academy, and by the end of day one Firefighter Zimmerman (their trainer) was already tired of the confusion.

It was at the start of day two, on the 12th of February 2013, that he was christened for the second time at the age of twenty-two.

As though Firefighter Zimmerman literally lifted bricks off of his back, Buck’s shoulders slackened and his chest loosened as the tension left along with his name.

Buck.

Buck.

Yeah. Yeah, he could get used to that.

4

Abby was his first real love. She had sunshine in her smile and made Buck think he could find the secret to happiness in her eyes if he stared at them long enough. She wasn’t his usual type and maybe that was the secret? Buck couldn’t remember ever being this content. Buck, who’d never felt like he truly deserved the life he was living, was constantly waiting for the catch. For the other shoe to drop.

Which is why, of course, it did- so fast and so hard that it uprooted his entire life along with it.

“I bought a plane ticket to go to Dublin.” There was an excited smile on her face and an ease about her that Buck had never seen before. It reminded him of how much he still didn’t know about her.

Buck’s entire mind screeched to a halt, freezing as the meaning settled. “Dublin as in…Dublin, Ireland?”

“Yes, Dublin, Ireland. I’m gonna go…for a while, probably.”

The meaning behind her words settled, his muscles tensing as his mind screamed at him. No. Not her.

“But, Evan—” It was then he should’ve known, because Abby never called him that, she knew what it meant for him, knew that it wasn’t him, not really. That Evan hadn’t been him in a long time. “Evan, me going away? Doesn’t have to mean the end. I’ve…I’ve just got to do this. I need to know who I am…without serving other people.”

And Buck had understood. He had. He’d promised. He’d waited. He’d put up with five minute phone conversations separated by whole weeks of silence that Abby blamed on her shitty cell service, he’d put up with getting updates with the rest of the world through Instagram and Facebook.

And then, Buck eventually stopped understanding, lost hope. Broke his promise and stopped waiting.

His love for Abby could only stretch him so far before it was self-destructive. And he was over being self-destructive.

And he was so over his name.

5

Ali was the next girl to give him hope. It took him a while to ease the ache in his heart after Abby, but every time she laughed a crack healed, every time the sun shone through her dark hair it felt as though she’d placed a band-aid over every wound. Even after almost dying pinned under a fire engine, with only a small inkling of hope of ever doing the job he loved again, she still had the power to make him smile.

Ali made him feel the most him since Abby.

Then history repeated itself, as it tended to do, and it all came crashing down.

He wasn’t quite sure how the conversation started, how his smile turned into indignation and the crinkles around her dark eyes transformed to tears, but her voice was soft like a melody as she was pleading and his heart clenched as though her fist was squeezing it.

“It’s not like I didn’t know you were in a dangerous line of work. When I met you, y’know, ten stories up a collapsing high rise—”

“—Exactly!” He interrupted, his voice louder, angrier than he intended, not quite understanding what this meant for them. For him. He didn’t like the way she flinched at his tone.

“That was one day, one day of my life, Evan.” His name made his heart stutter to a stop, as though shocking it into a standstill. “It’s every day of yours. I’m just…starting to really understand what that means.”

It’s when he saw fear in her eyes where he used to see his future that he knew how this would end. She could’ve watched him die. She couldn’t watch him die again.

He watched her leave and felt every crack she’d healed break open again.

+1

After Eddie is shot— after Buck watches him get shot— it takes a while for his mind to understand that everything’s okay. Even when Eddie is up and talking, and smiling at him with that smile that makes his eyes sparkle and makes Buck’s heart skip a beat in a way he’d never taken the time to analyse, his mind takes a minute to catch up.

Buck still feels the blood on him, sometimes. Can feel the phantom splatter of it as it landed on his face, sometimes stares at the shirt he was wearing that he really should throw out but somehow can’t find it in himself because it’s stained with Eddie’s blood, and don’t you understand?

The day Eddie’s due to be discharged, the man asks Buck to sit.

A million things run through his head as he perches himself awkwardly next to Eddie on the stiff hospital bed, turning to face the man and desperately trying not to nervously chew his lower lip (he’s mostly successful).

“You might’ve noticed I almost died. Again.” It was the exhaustion in his voice that made Buck desperately want to reassure him, tell him he never would’ve died, that Buck wouldn’t’ve let him, but— he didn’t because he couldn’t lie to Eddie and because Buck almost did. He just stood there, when he was shot. Probably would’ve stood there a lot longer hadn’t it been for Captain Metha. Probably would’ve been shot himself because his body refused to process that Eddie had been shot. Right in front of him. “Yeah, I’ve had a lot of close calls,” Eddie continued, “This one wasn’t even my closest—”

“—Eddie.”

“Just let me finish.” Eddie pleaded. “After the last time—” The well. “When the well collapsed on top of me—”

“—Which you survived.” Buck interrupted again. Couldn’t help himself. Needed to reassure Eddie— reassure himself— that Eddie was still here, still breathing.

Eddie huffed, nodding before continuing, “After that, it, uh, got me thinking. What would happen to Christopher if I hadn’t? So…I went to my attorney and changed my will. Someday, if I, uh, didn’t make it, Christopher would be taken care of. By you.”

What?

“What?”

“It’s in my will that if I die you become Christopher’s legal guardian.” Eddie stated again, firmly, eyes never leaving Buck’s. Buck squirmed, his mind working overdrive.

“I mean, h-how-how does that even work, don’t you need my consent?”

“My attorney said you could refuse.” Eddie said placatingly.

“But you knew I wouldn’t.”

“But I knew you wouldn’t.” Eddie repeated, smiling smugly, nudging Buck’s knee gently, playfully, with his own.

“But-but he has grandparents. Other family?”

Eddie laughed sarcastically, as though the very idea was ludicrous. “After Shannon died they all tried to guilt me into giving Christopher to them. It’s…not what I wanted then and it’s not what I want now.”

“I-if it came to that, wouldn’t they fight for him?”

Eddie shrugged. “I don’t know, maybe. Probably.” He nodded placatingly, before pausing to look Buck in the eyes seriously. “But no one will ever fight for my son as hard as you. And that is what I want for him.”

“You said you did this last year. Why are you just telling me now?”

“Because, Evan.” Eddie sighed, and instead of the oldness he was expecting, Buck felt his heart fill with warmth at the sound of his name coming from Eddie’s lips in such a way. Almost…loving? “You came in here the other day and you said you thought it would’ve been better if it’d been you who’d been shot. You act like you’re expendable…” Eddie sighs, before raising his hand and placing it over Buck’s, intertwining their fingers. Buck’s heart did somersaults in his chest. “But you’re wrong.”

fin.

andie notes: i published this on ao3 too if you’d like to check it out on there instead! here’s the link:

[wolfmadefromash]

Protective Eddie WIP

Just another little snippet from the WIP I'm working on. I also have a little Christmas one that'll I'll be posting in a couple days, it's all done and only like 4K words.

“I am not giving you a blowjob in the middle of the loft.” 

“I didn’t ask you to.” Buck says with a smirk. 

“No? Leaning back, spreading your legs? Come on, Buck.” 

“Hey, you’re the one reading into things. I was just getting comfortable. I think you need to get your mind out of the gutter, Diaz.” 

[wikiangela]

fuck it friday

tagged by @diazsdimples @tizniz @fortheloveofbuddie @theotherbuckley @daffi-990 💖

today a bit more of the secret relationship fic bc I made some progress last night haha (I mean, it's supposed to be secret relationship according to my og idea and I wanna get there so hopefully i'll figure it out lol)

prev snippet

___

“Good talk.” Eddie jokes, earning a surprised chuckle, and he can’t help it, he leans in to press one more kiss to Buck’s lips.

“Very good.” Buck responds, grinning from ear to ear. “We should have talks like this more often.”

“Oh, we will.” Eddie responds, leaning in once more. He just can’t get enough. “We’ll do so much talking.” he teases, their lips brushing as he speaks, and Buck laughs and shakes his head slightly, the movement pulling him away from Eddie, and Eddie has to force himself not to pout, wanting to be as close to Buck as possible, never moving away. Maybe it’s for the best, because otherwise Eddie would not be able to let him out of his arms right now, and they unfortunately can’t just stand here forever. “But we need to do some actual talking first.” he says, leaning back to look into Buck’s shiny blue eyes.

“Yeah.” Buck’s smile is so soft and bashful, but still the brightest thing Eddie’s ever seen. “This is happening, right? You and me?” he asks suddenly, quietly and almost with a hint of shyness, and Eddie can’t have him doubting this, doubting them.

___

no pressure tags: @elvensorceress @gaydiaz @thebravebitch @silentxxsoul @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @transbuck @911onabc @housewifebuck @watchyourbuck @eowon @loserdiaz @evanbegins @ladydorian05 @wildlife4life @diazpatcher @lover-of-mine @monsterrae1 @thewolvesof1998 @puppyboybuckley @weewootruck @loveyouanyway @spagheddiediaz @rainbow-nerdss @epicbuddieficrecs @pirrusstuff @spotsandsocks @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @hoodie-buck @nmcggg @jesuisici33 @rogerzsteven @hippolotamus @steadfastsaturnsrings @disasterbuckdiaz @giddyupbuck @dangerpronebuddie @sunshinediaz @honestlydarkprincess @underwater-ninja-13 @exhuastedpigeon

[911onabc]

The one out on the water

teen & up | evan "buck" buckley/eddie diaz | 902 words

summary: On their honeymoon, Buck and Eddie try kayaking. Eddie doesn’t really want to paddle. He finds a way around this problem.

----------------------------

“Hey honey,” Buck called out from the back of the kayak as he pulled his paddle out of the water. “Are you planning on, I don’t know, paddling? ”

Once Buck stopped paddling, they were mostly just floating in the open ocean in a plastic open-top kayak.

Eddie had stopped paddling a minute or so after they had been pushed off the beach, instead leaning back and letting Buck do all the work from the back seat. After all, Eddie figured, they were on vacation. 

Eddie wasn’t exactly sure what had come over him, but the second they boarded the plane the morning after their wedding, all he wanted to do was lounge. And have sex with his husband.

Because, really–wasn’t that the whole point of a honeymoon?

All of this meant that by the time they made it down to the beach the second morning of their trip, it was almost noon. 

Buck, of course, still had energy. So when a resort employee approached them with a laminated picture of a kayak and a special low price of ten dollars, Buck agreed for the both of them before Eddie could even open his mouth to protest. 

So, if this wasn’t even his idea, why should Eddie have to paddle? 

“I don’t need to paddle,” Eddie smirked. “You seem perfectly capable of doing it alone.”

“Eddie, come on, if you don’t paddle my core is gonna get all sore.” Buck complained. 

“Your core?” Eddie asked, glancing back at him. “What about your arms? Or shoulders?”

“Really, most of the work should be coming from your core,” Buck explained. “And legs. Kayaking should be a full-body activity.”

“I didn’t even know that,” Eddie hummed, a shit-eating grin spreading across his face. “So really, I shouldn’t be paddling. I could hurt myself.”

“I think you could handle it,” Buck deadpanned, placing his paddle in the water again, and they started moving. “Eddie, come on! ”

Instead of helping Buck out, Eddie leaned back further in his seat, taking a hand to rub Buck’s calf behind him. 

“But you’re doing such a good job, baby.” Eddie said, his voice sickly sweet.

“Eddie–” Buck stopped, pulling his paddle out of the water again and letting the boat slowed to a halt.

“You think you can make it all the way down the beach and the back on your own?” Eddie asked. 

“I mean,” Buck scoffed, his voice uneven. “Obviously I could. I would just prefer not to. Isn’t the point of being married that we help each other?”

“I just think you’re so strong,” Eddie smiled back at him, ignoring the marriage comment. “You don’t really need my help, do you?”

“Are you really trying that?” Buck glared at him. 

“I don’t know,” Eddie mused. “Is it working?”

Instead of answering, Buck just let out a long sigh and put the paddle back in the water. As they started to move, Eddie got comfortable, rubbing his hand up and down Buck’s leg.

“Look at you go,” Eddie said, basking in the warm sunlight. “Doing all the work. What a good boy.”

Buck sighed, like he was trying to sound annoyed. Only he wasn’t. Annoyed, that is. Buck was something else entirely. 

Really, Eddie was doing both of them a service by refusing to pick up his paddle. 

“You know,” Eddie kept talking. “I’m so lucky to have such a big, strong, husband who can carry all of my weight. I bet you could go ever faster, too.”

“Hmfph.” Buck let out, not quite an approval but at least an acknowledgment. He started paddling a little harder, and the boat slid through the water faster than before. 

“Honestly,” Eddie said, taking the permission to go a little further. “You’re so good for me. So good at taking care of me. I can’t wait to get back to the hotel room and lie back on the fresh sheets so you can put your big strong hands inside of me, and–”

“Eddie!” Buck all but hissed, cutting him off and stopping the boat again. “We’re outside .”

“We’re on the ocean,” Eddie scoffed. “The closest people are like, at least a hundred feet away.”

“But we’re heading towards the shore, where I’m going to have to get up,” Buck stressed. “On a crowded beach. Where people can see me.”

Eddie, of course, shone with pride. He loved how easily Buck could become undone with just his words. He also didn’t mind the idea of everyone on the beach finding that out. 

But, Buck obviously did. And Eddie took pity on his husband. 

“Hmm,” Eddie hummed. “Well, I guess you better paddle me around for a little longer until you calm down a little. It’s kind of relaxing, actually.”

“Not for me,” Buck whined. “ Come on, you’re not gonna help at all?”

“I was helping,” Eddie argued. “I was giving you very nice encouragement.”

Buck sighed, but put his paddle back in the water and they started moving again. 

“I could get used to being carried around like this for the rest of our lives.” Eddie admitted, tossing one of his feet over the edge of the kayak to dip his toes in the cool water. 

“Yeah, of course you could,” Buck mumbled. “Passenger princess.”

Really, it only stung a little bit. And Eddie couldn’t even argue. Because, as much as knew Buck inside and out–

Buck knew Eddie just as well.

[meepmoopdraws2]

I’m currently melting over the the fact that Buck and Eddie were best friends first, and family first-so when they realize they’re in love with each other they internalize their feelings because “they don’t want anything to change” but then they admit it to each other and absolutely nothing changes except for the absolute feeling of completeness in their souls. But nothing changes. Nothing changes. Buck is still a dork and Eddie is fully in the corner of the dork. They still make fun of each other and love to love every stupid part of the other. They still banter and flirt and reach for each other any chance they get. But they’re complete now. Their hearts are full. They’re home. They’ve always been home though-they know that now.

[fortheloveofbuddie]

I have a headcanon for y’all

Eddie loves to sing in the shower but he’s so damn horrible

Yet

Buck loves every second of it

[the-likesofus]

As It Slips Through Your Fingers

Buddie 6x07 coda/sperm donor future spec fic

9-1-1 on Fox | 2370 words | buddie re-relationship, angst, fluff, forehead kisses, christopher diaz has two dads, hopeful ending, they finally talk about the will

tw miscarriage

Read on AO3

“So you’re obviously finished with your juice cleansing. You inhaled that burger.” Eddie teases.

“Ah, yeah. I had my appointment last week so technically my job is done. I’ll admit that green juice wasn’t as bad as it looked but having them for every meal got old pretty quick.” Buck laughs and takes another swig of his beer. 

“And how are you feeling about that?” Eddie asks. He tries to sound as perfunctory as he can but he’s curious. For all of Buck's secrecy, he thought that maybe now he knows about the sperm donor thing that Buck might be more open to talking about it with him. He still doesn’t know why he felt he couldn’t talk to Eddie about it in the first place. Maybe if he’d known sooner he would have tried to talk Buck out of it, or maybe he wouldn’t have but even now, Buck’s barely said a word about it. 

“It’s good! They're excited, ready to move on to the next step and–.”

“Buck,” Eddie puts his beer down and turns so that he’s facing Buck front on. “I asked how you feel about it.”

“Oh,” Buck stops like he hasn’t really thought about that himself yet and Eddie wouldn’t be surprised if he hasn’t. From the sounds of things, getting as far as this appointment has been a debacle in itself and so Eddie can’t blame him for being relieved to have it behind him. But that doesn’t mean that Buck has stopped to think about what the next step is for him. Really, now that he’s given them what they need–so to speak–there probably isn’t much for Buck to do. “Good, I guess. I mean I’m excited for them. As soon as my ahh, contribution passes all the needed testing, they can move on to the next stage.”

“That still doesn’t really tell me how you feel.”

“I don’t know, Eddie. How am I supposed to feel?” Buck throws his hands up before leaning back in his seat and crossing his arms over his chest. “I jizzed in a cup and handed it over to some lady. It’s quite literally out of my hands now. It’s probably the most hands-off parenting experience there is.” He laughs again like he’s said something funny but Eddie just hurts for him more.

“You're not parenting though, Buck.” He doesn’t know how to put it less bluntly but when it boils down to it, Buck is right. It’s out of his hands. He’s done his part and now the rest is up to Connor and Kameron. They get the excitement of doctors' appointments and ultrasounds, hearing the baby’s heartbeat for the first time and holding him or her when they’re born. Buck most likely won’t be a part of any of that. 

Buck stops, takes a mouthful of his beer, picks at the label on the bottle for a moment, and then sets it down next to Eddie’s. “I know.”

Eddie watches him quietly, imagining the ways the cogs will be turning in his best friend’s head. 

“I’ve thought about it, I have. And I know, Donor not Dad. And that will suck, it will. Some days more than others but at the same time, knowing that I got to help them, that by giving them a small piece of me I was able to help bring this whole other happiness into their lives. That's a good feeling.” He smiles softly and Eddie can feel the pride emanating from him. “And besides if I never get to have my own kids, kids that would truly be mine, I mean, then just knowing that out there is a kid who is a little bit of me and gets to have this whole life with two loving parents who wanted them so badly. I think that's okay too.”

Eddie waits for a moment and lets Buck’s words sink in. “What makes you think you’ll never have kids of your own?” 

“Well,” Buck laughs. “I haven’t exactly had the greatest dating track record. I mean, even if Taylor and I had stayed together, she didn’t want kids so there is always that possibility that maybe one day I do find someone else and they don’t either. Maybe I’ll just have to learn to be okay with that.” 

He picks up his bottle again and takes a long drink. Eddie does the same and then his bottle is empty. He stands up to go get two more from the fridge. “Well, I know it’s not the same but you’ll still have Chris.”

“Yes, Eddie. Tell me again about the child I’ll acquire when my best friend dies. That will definitely make me feel better.” Buck rolls his eyes and passes Eddie his empty bottle but Eddie’s feet are suddenly rooted to the floor.

“Buck.” He says firmly.” What are you on about, you don't seriously–, that’s not what I meant by that at all.”

“You didn’t? Wait– then what do you mean?”

“Jesus, Buck. Is that really what you've been thinking this whole time? That me putting you in my will was just some sort of contingency plan?” He watches the confusion continue to spread across Buck’s face and his heart sinks, a lump forming in his throat as he puts both of the bottles back down on the table and rounds the corner to crouch in front of Buck. He hesitates for a second before taking Buck's hands between his own and looking up at him carefully. Buck looks down to meet his gaze and his blue eyes are wide and pleading. “Buck. Buck, you are already Chris’ Dad. It’s hard to explain what you mean to him, to both of us but that’s the best way I can describe it. When I said that I trust no one with my son more than you, I meant it. And not just in some hypothetical scenario where I’m dead, because God forbid it ever comes to that, but now Buck, already. 

“Putting you in my will was a formality. I wanted to make sure that there was no legal way that anyone could try to change what you already are to him because you are what I want for my son and I know that if it came to that then you would continue to love him the way that I do, the way that you already do.”

There are tears forming in the corners of Buck’s eyes and Eddie gently reaches up to wipe them away. Internally he’s beating himself up for ever letting Buck believe that Eddie would write him in as a contingency plan. Let alone that Buck has been walking around believing that for months. But watching the way that hope seems to blossom across Buck’s face right before his eyes, warms some not-small part inside him.

“You mean that?’ Buck asks and Eddie gets to his feet again, and before he can think better of it he presses a kiss to Buck’s forehead and collects the bottles once more.

“I do.” He says and then hurries into the kitchen.

Six weeks later Buck calls him all excited to tell him that Kameron got a positive result at her blood test. She’s pregnant. Eddie expects this to be the moment that it hits Buck but he still sounds genuinely excited. He proceeds to tell Eddie all about the probabilities involved in IVF.

Eight weeks after that there’s another excited phone call and Buck raves about the ultrasound image that Connor had sent him. 

“I’ll bring it to work on Monday and show you. They're so tiny, Eddie!” Eddie remembers the first ultrasound he ever saw of Christopher. He missed the appointment because he was away at basic training but he remembers staring at the grainy photo for hours after Shannon sent it to him. How amazed he was that something so small would ever grow into a human being. 

A Friday in late May finds the two of them at the beach with Christopher, the weather is barely starting to warm up again but Chris insisted that they spend their evening down near the pier. Eddie is still in awe of how far Chris, and Buck, have come since the tsunami. Not half an hour ago the two of them were splashing about in the shallow waves, giggling and screeching almost as loud as the seagulls. Buck’s phone had started ringing on the towel next to Eddie and he had called him in from the water to take the call. He’s been gone for a while. Chris soon got cold and Eddie had bundled him up in Buck’s sweatshirt and towel off his hair before he collected up the buckets and shovels they had brought with them and set off with great plans to build a moat. 

When Buck comes back he looks hollowed out, like someone took a spoon to his insides and scooped him out like a jack-o-lantern. “Buck?” Eddie says softly and glances over at Christopher quickly but the boy is occupied with his sandcastle a little further up the beach. Buck’s hands are shaking and he almost lets his phone slip through his fingers.

“Kameron lost the baby. She– umm.” Buck chews the inside of his cheek and his glassy eyes flit everywhere but at Eddie’s face. “Connor just– he just wanted to let me know and he said– said they're probably not going to be trying again.”

“Oh, Buck.” Eddie’s not sure what to say. What do you say? He remembers how excited he’d been when Shannon had thought she was pregnant again, once he got over the initial shock. The idea of having another little Christopher in his life had sprouted in his chest and already made a home for itself by the time she told him that it was just a scare and then washed it down with divorce papers. “I’m so sorry.” Is what he eventually settles on and Buck raises his hand as if you wave off Eddie’s apology.

“No, umm. It’s okay, I’m fine, just for Kameron and Connor, I–.”

“Buck. They were your kid too.”

“No, they weren’t–.”

“But they were. You can try and convince yourself otherwise but I know you, Buck. You loved that kid from the moment they existed and even if you had never met them you would have loved them still. You’re allowed to be upset, Buck.” Eddie steps forward and tentatively rests his hand on Buck’s shoulder, rubbing his thumb slowly across his collarbone. 

Buck looks back up at him and his entire person crumbles in an instant as he falls against Eddie’s chest and buries his face in Eddie’s neck. His shoulders shake with sharp gasps as sobs wrack his body and Eddie can do nothing but wrap his arms around him and hold him up as Buck clings to him.

Eddie tries to convince him to pack up and go back to the house but Buck insists that he doesn’t want to worry Christopher and that he looks like he’s having fun. So instead they sit on the towels they laid out earlier and Eddie tucks Buck firmly against his side as they watch the sun slowly sink over the horizon. 

Buck becomes pretty withdrawn over the next few weeks. Eddie doesn’t blame him and he tries to be there for him wherever he can. He invites him around regularly even though he usually turns down the offer. He takes him a few home-cooked meals, courtesy of Bobby’s assistance. He has Chris send him video messages every now and again just to check in and tell him about what he’s been working on at school. At first, he worried that hearing from Chris might be too much but after the genuinely grateful message Buck sent him back after the first one he knew that those little things were helping as much as they possibly could. 

There’s a knock on his front door one evening almost a month after their trip to the beach and Eddie opens it to find Buck standing on his doorstep with a duffle bag hooked over one shoulder and a resigned look on his face.

“Hey, I– is Chris home? I just wanted to see him. If– if that’s okay?” Buck has the effrontery to look bashful about asking.

“Of course,” Eddie says and opens the door wider to wave him in. “He’s in the living room.” 

Eddie slides a hand carefully across the span of Buck’s back as he passes him and he could swear that the other man leans into his touch even just a little bit. He follows Buck into the living room and watches as Christopher’s eyes widen in excitement when he sees Buck standing next to the sofa. The kid quickly pauses his game and pulls the headphones off just in time for Buck to sink to his knees on the floor next to him and they both drive into each other’s arms. 

“Hi, Buck.” Christopher’s voice is muffled against Buck’s shoulder but Buck just squeezes him tighter and buries his nose into Christopher’s hair.

“Hey, Buddy.” He whispers just loud enough for Eddie to hear from where he’s standing in the doorway. He catches Buck’s eye over Christopher’s shoulder and Buck flashes him a grateful smile which Eddie returns. 

The late evening sees the three of them curled up together on the couch, one large blanket thrown across their laps as a reasonably recent David Attenborough documentary plays on the television. Christopher is leaning back against Buck’s chest as Buck presses himself into Eddie’s side. Slowly, throughout the evening, all of the tension in Buck's face and muscles has drained out until he has been left pliant and warm under the arm that Eddie has wrapped around his shoulder. 

Eddie leans forward to press his nose against Buck’s temple and waits for Buck to press back before he drops a soft kiss against the delicate skin there. Buck sighs softly and flashes Eddie a grateful smile as one of his hands finds Eddie’s beneath the blanket and squeezes softly, Eddie twines their fingers together and they turn their focus back to the animals on screen.