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thaumaturtles · 5 years

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Epilogue Thoughts

So, I finished the epilogues at around 11 AM on 4/21 and spent the better part of today mulling over it internally. Overall, I think I liked ‘em. Don’t get me wrong, they were brutal and tragic and ripped my heart out, but this is my garbage and I’m allowed to enjoy it. I was planning on liveblogging the epilogues but constantly pausing to jot down my feelings detracted from the overall experience. This is probably gonna be pretty scattershot, since I have neither the ability nor the desire to order my thoughts properly. Now, without any further preamble, let’s get into it.

Jane

A lot of people said they didn’t like the treatment of Jane in the epilogues, and, fair enough, she was pretty awful and Crocker stans have every right to be pissed. But to anyone saying it came out of left field or didn’t make sense, I’d have to disagree (for the most part). Jane was brainwashed by the Condesce for the first 16 years of her life, and we see the effects of this when she goes Crockertier. She’d almost certainly have baked-in presumptions about how trolls were “meant to be” (ie super violent) even before she was consciously aware that trolls as a race existed. Jane was also always really in denial about having been brainwashed by the Condesce and I can definitely see adult Jane flat-out refusing to do any self-analysis and just assume there are no remaining effects of the brainwashing and she’s “totally cured” now or whatever. Jane’s also not super progressive? Like the conversation where she discovers Dirk has a crush on Jake and that Jake might even reciprocate was pretty uncomfortable to experience, and she starts a business on Earth C even though there’s no real need for corporations in a world with infinite resources. This shows that she’s still stuck in the belief that capitalism is inherently good/necessary for no reason other than “it’s what i grew up with.” All in all I could totally see Jane as someone who’d grow up to become xenophobic and have this colonizer mentality of “I have to regulate the Other because they’re not capable of functioning without me”

As for the non-consensual/rapey stuff... I’m actually not gonna touch that shit with a six-foot pole. The narrative is very explicit in the fact that Jane is an abusive partner and what she’s doing Is Bad, but like if she’s your favourite character you probably aren’t going to be all gung ho about seeing her do all the things that she did, which were admittedly very upsetting to read. I completely understand if you couldn’t read past those parts because they were pretty rough.

The Epilogues do get pretty unpleasant to read though :/

The Epilogues are highly antagonistic towards Homestuck’s readers. This is a fact. Whether this is a good or bad thing is up to interpretation, but it is at the very least not a new thing. Listen to Kate Mitchell of the Perfectly Generic Podcast and YouTuber OptimisticDuelist for more in-depth analysis than I could possibly provide on this, but one of Lord English’s greatest weapons is his ability to get people not to care about Homestuck, or even better, to revile it. That’s what the aspect of Rage represents: Plot Contrivance. As Karkat says,

THERE ARE OUTCOMES THAT ARE EVEN WORSE THAN THE COMPLETE ANNIHILATION OF EXISTENCE ITSELF. FORCES MORE DAMAGING TO THE INTEGRITY OF REALITY THAN THOSE CAPABLE OF TURNING IMAGINATION INTO PURE VOID. THEY ARE FORCES WHICH IF HANDLED RECKLESSLY WILL NULLIFY THE BASIC ABILITY OF INTELLIGENT BEINGS IN ALL REAL AND HYPOTHETICAL PLANES OF EXISTENCE TO GIVE A SHIT.

This is repeated, by Hussie himself no less, later on during his smug self-insert, found here. After Hussie dies and loses control of the narrative, LE is free to try his hardest to get you, the reader, not to give a shit. Rose, in the Epilogue’s Prologue, says that if people stop caring about Homestuck, reality as they know it will break apart, which is exactly in line with LE’s plans. So the fact that the Epilogues are very hostile towards the reader is basically par for the course. That said, I can see how it kinda sounds like I’m being all “oh it’s SUPPOSED to be shitty you wouldn’t underSTAND,” but that’s. literally what’s happening. and there’s evidence for it in the text.

Of course, in the past, when the narrative would pull things like this it would be under the guise of, say, Homosuck, which is very obviously meant to be bad and is presented in a fun, satirical way. The Epilogues, on the other hand, are downright upsetting. They’re presented in a much grittier light, which can obfuscate to what degree it’s Actually A Joke, if it even is a joke in any capacity. The fact that they’re tragic, though, should not be seen as evidence that they’re bad.

Some stuff I Liked

Both routes had some really top-notch interactions in them. A lot of folks seem to be overlooking how genuinely good the writing was. I said the phrase, “they’ve still got it” ALOUD to myself once or twice because the dialogue really did have that good ole Homestuck Charm. The Dave/Karkat/Jade interactions early on in Candy (before everything went to shit) were pretty great, as was basically everything that came out of English’s mouth. I dunno who the Antiquities Consultant was, but they did an excellent job at mirroring Jake’s usual speech pattern. I find that a lot of people, when writing Jake, just kinda throw in as many random old-timey words as possible and as a result it feels kinda disjointed, but the writing team for the epilogues managed to make him feel very... would light be a good way to put it? Sort of airheaded I guess. Just very goofy idk

We got to see Rosemary and they were married and raised a kid and it was the best! Rose was really well-written, as was Kanaya; I really loved seeing those personalities balance each other out again. It was nice to see them be good parents in the Candy-verse. The Vriska they raised was such a fucking scamp too! It was nice to see a Vriska who had a positive home environment but still had that same spunk

Also, Dave. Just, all of Dave. He was really solidly written throughout the whole thing. I fucking love his interest in the economy holy shit. I got to hear Dave Strider say the phrase “neoliberal austerity measures.” That’s the best. “Economically Aware Anti-capitalist Dave” is rivaled only by “Karkat (True Leftism)”. I’ve seen a few complaints that Dave’s interest in the economy was also OOC, but for one thing he’s an adult and can cultivate new interests if he likes, and for another Dave is a pretty clever kid, and very numerically-minded. (Is that a term? I mean he’s good at maths and such). Don’t forget, not only did he manage to accumulate all the wealth on LOCAH in the span of three days by taking over their stock markets, but he also used the hash map modus in his day to day life, showing that he was able to do calculations in his head as quick as breathing. As shown here, the hash map modus is pretty complex and requires you to come up with a word that has the same value as the thing you wanna use in order to use it. That’s not easy to do on a dime and yet he uses it in his rooftop battles with Bro. All of this is to say, he’d certainly learn to be very good at economics if he wasn’t already. It just suits him.

Oh and I also love that Dave still makes SBaHJ and Karkat has a bunch of sockpuppet accounts he uses to defend Dave’s honour. it’s very cute.

Karkat also had some lines in the epilogues damn. I hadn’t realized how starved I was of VantasRage until I read a few of his rants. Also we finally got to see Badass Rebel Leader Karkat and he’s just as great as we all knew he’d be

The davekat kiss in Meat was great too. It was very gratifying to see after all the narrative cockblocking that went down in Candy.

John realizing in the Candy universe that he isn’t responsible for everything and that they’re all still just people with their own autonomy was good. Much as I have problems with the Candy universe on a whole I liked this specifically.

Also, roxygen! I love roxy/callie as much as the next guy but John and Roxy were very cute near the end of the comic and I liked seeing them grow up and have a kid. John names his son after the guy from Night Court because he’s a massive dweeb. Love it.

We got some great Terezi writing as well. The johnrezi at the end of Meat was nicely written and made me feel a whole host of emotions despite me not even having shipped them that hard beforehand.

OH MY GOD THE OBAMA SHIT. I almost forgot to put this in because I was focused on other stuff but my word the whole Obama Situation was beautiful I loved every second of it. It was so over-the-top in the best way and it simultaneously carried airs of being So Serious And Important To The Narrative and being just the dumbest load of crap. I loved it so much

Also, I was very happy with Roxy and Callie coming out. Roxy talking about how he’d already come out as dating an alien with a green skull for a head and how it felt like maybe he was being “selfish” by also wanting to come out as trans was a great illustration of something that already-out LGB people often feel when realizing they don’t identify with their assigned gender. Additionally, Calliope coming to terms with the fact that they don’t have to identify as female just to further differentiate themselves from Caliborn was great. It really helped to show how far they’d come from just being Caliborn’s foil into being their own person. However, this leads into:

Some stuff I didn’t like

Speaking of Roxy and Callie’s transition, Dirk also came out. As a transphobe. Which was disappointing, to say the least. He made a point of misgendering Roxy as often as possible and was pretty dismissive towards NB people when he learned about Calliope’s identity. (You could make an argument that Dirk is being thoughtless by misgendering Roxy and not intentionally malicious, but I don’t see Dirk as the kind of guy who slips up very often. He’s very careful with language.) I always headcanoned Dirk as trans, as I’m sure most people did, so having him just up and become transphobic was kind of the worst. I intend to talk about Epilogue!Dirk a lot more in a later post but yeah. Not a fan.

EDIT: I’ve thought about the Dirk thing a little more and he does eventually start calling Roxy by the correct pronouns, albeit in kind of a “see see look at how openminded im being youre such a manly dudely stud bro” way. Dirk’s initial discomfort with Roxy and Callie’s identity more comes from his own egotistical belief that he should have already known about it than it does from genuine animosity. That aside, he does still say “She probably would have loved being a “they” when she was a teen,” which sorta rubs me the wrong way. I might just be being oversensitive though.

Also, in the Meat universe, Rose and Kanaya split up! I’m very upset about that. Ultimate Power be damned, I want happy, married lesbians! It sucks that we either have Rosemary OR Davekat but not both

On the topic of davekat, Jade really got done dirty by both Epilogues, huh? She was used as a narrative device in one and was an intrusive presence in the lives of Dave and Karkat in the other. TBH I was never a fan of davekatjade for a lot of reasons but I would have preferred they be in a happy poly relationship than what actually happened in Candy.

Actually, the only two polyamorous relationships in the Epilogues both turned out awfully. I doubt any of the writing staff had anything against poly people; I’m sure it was just a coincidence but either way it’s pretty unfortunate. I have a bit to say about this but this is running too long as is.

Gamzee

Fucking Gamzee.

Unanswered Questions

Will there be any further updates? I sure hope there will, because the ending was not very satisfying and creates more questions than it answers. I can sort of see where it might be going but they left way too much up in the air and it feels very much like it’s unfinished. V has referred to it as “the whole thing” on twitter, so it might be finished for good, but i really hope it isn’t

Why did Rose say the session they’re creating will be the most important session of SBURB ever played? Why couldn’t they play it on Earth C? Surely Earth C’s inhabitants would be more used to seeing alien life forms and would know the basics of SBURB, thus making it more likely for them to survive it. Why go to the trouble of seeding a whole new planet? I’m curious.

Can a character be said to be “Out Of Character” if the character’s own creator wrote those actions? What if they passed on the actual writing to someone else but still had to verify it themselves? What does OOC even mean? Does it mean “this doesn’t fit my headcanon” or “there is no evidence for this” or “the author wouldn’t write them like this”? If it’s the last one, can an author merely saying “this interpretation is correct” absolve ANY action from being deemed OOC? I like that I’m being made to think about this kind of thing now

To what degree is each universe truly “Canon”? I’m aware that Candy lost its canon-ness when John decided not to fight LE, but the two universes are intrinsically linked: we see characters from one universe travel to another and it’s implied that Terezi has spoken to both Johns. How canon is Meat, even? Are either of them even still bound by the need to be part of the Alpha Timeline anymore, since Lord English has been created? What does anything mean?

Final Musings

I understand completely if you don’t like the epilogues. Maybe you think they’re too dark. Maybe you just don’t agree with portrayals of the characters. Maybe you hate that they gave jade a fucking tail when she never had one in the main comic. There certainly were bits of it that I wasn’t a fan of, but there are also parts I really wanna go draw fanart of right now. I like the Epilogues, but if I write fanfic or make dumb joke posts about Earth C, I’m probably gonna ignore large swaths of it (such as, I’ll probably keep both John and Dirk alive, and make them kiss a lot)

There has been a great deal of vitriol directed specifically at Hussie about the epilogues despite the fact that other people worked on them. It’s difficult to take these criticisms in good faith when so many people are blaming solely Hussie. I’m aware that he had total control over actual plot elements and wrote a bit of dialogue, but the bulk of the actual text was written by V. Another thing I’ve noticed is that people’s attitudes towards the epilogues are very much like the general attitude towards Act 7 when it first came out. I’ll admit, I left the Homestuck fandom in like 2014 and didn’t return until mid-2017, but people’s Jimmies were definitely still Rustled even then. There was a general atmosphere of “I hate Hussie, and you should too! The ending was bad and no one asked for it!” but as time went on, and people started analyzing the ending and making meta posts about it, everyone sort of grew acclimated to the ending. Suddenly, the general consensus was that Homestuck was Good Again Finally and the ending was Amazing and The Fandom Loved It. I feel like maybe that sort of thing’s gonna happen again with the Epilogues. I really hope that, as it continues to update (if it does), everyone will sort of chill out about it

#homestuck #homestuck analysis #epilogues #epilogue spoilers #tw rape mention #i really felt roxy's hesitance to come out because i also feel like this sometimes? i'm not too sure what i really id as #and any degree of introspection makes me feel pretty guilty #like im already bi why do i need to be genderweird too #that was a lil too personal so i didnt put it in the main post #also im definitely gonna make more posts about this im not even close to being done talking #long post

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disslve · 4 years

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𝐲𝐞𝐞𝐡𝐚𝐰 & 𝐡𝐨𝐰𝐝𝐲 ! this is nai and my cowboy ass is here to throw roxy @ u and also tell u bad jokes and cry over life is strange 2 because i’m still not over this game and I NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT. just a heads up, i came up with roxy on a whim because this rp just looked so good, so if it seems like i don’t know what i’m talking about ... it’s most likely the case whoops . ( this is an excuse for me bringing shitty muses ). anyway, my fake cowboy ass loves to ramble so if you’re interested in plotting feel free to LIKE this post or hmu. i forgot to mention that i’m also a fake grandma so idk anything about discord at all and i still need to set it up which will happen in the next few days dsdnsdsdn.

ps: wanted connections/plots can be find in my wanted tag ( a link is on my blog ) and i’ll also list some below !

EDIT: discord name is nai #7158

* [ kristine froseth + cis-female + she/her ] —— have you met roxanne ‘roxy’ bailey ? they are a twenty-two year old junior currently studying romance languages and literatures. they live on decker house and word around campus is that this scorpio is compassionate + dedicated, as well as impatient + dishonest. i wonder if they’ll make it out alive.

basics.

full name: roxanne elise bailey

nicknames: roxy, rox

sexual orientation: bisexual

birth place: valencia, spain ( but only lived there for five years )

history.

one could say that roxy had lived an easy life, though her parents weren’t distinguished by their social status, it didn’t mean they lacked money which was enough to support their daughter in whatever she wanted to do.

truth to be told, roxy was indeed a little spoiled, the type of kids who would try all kind of things on the expenses of their parents only to quit a new ‘hobby’ again. she could barely stick to anything. she was some twisted kind of golden child, good at many things but never had the patience to continue something for long enough to cultivate it.

skipping over the part where she almost tried everything from arts, music etc. she finally found her passion ( and even roxy herself was surprised ). figure skating. she didn’t know what drew her in, she couldn’t explain it, she tried it and it felt right. roxy always describes the feeling as finding a soulmate if she feels extra dramatic that day.

unsurprisingly, she was good at it. not that kind of good at something she was at all the other things she tried before, but that being good at which stemmed from genuine interest. maybe, that is why she managed to get so far. and it didn’t take too long that people even started to call her a figure skating prodigy.

at this point at her life, she had it all, spinning the stars on her fingertips ( or warning bad pun ahead: spinning on the ice ). until, well, her parents company was in some crisis and they had to cut corners in the meantime. also oh so ‘conveniently’ roxy lived at the arse end of nowhere and getting to her practices was now even more difficult because as mentioned before they had to save their money for more necessary things. of course, there were more things , small and big, which totally threw her off ( which i am too lazy to list rn).

roxy tried to work part time, but a) the money wasn’t enough b) she didn’t want to cut more hours of training she managed to get. AND well, here comes the turning point and roxy thinking she was oh-so-smart without realizing that it would cost her career. oh-so-smart roxy came up with the idea to , well, just steal some stuff. after all, she trained with many other wealthy peers and she could just sell off their stuff or something.

at the beginning she only did it to afford certain things she needed, but soon it somehow became an addiction. she felt in control when everyone else in her life was an utter mess. however, the more she took things away from others the more she felt comfortable, doing it more often and sometimes taking things which weren’t even worth that much. it was only a matter of time until she was caught. and as if she was lucky for too long, the person who caught her pressured her into either giving them a hefty sum of money (which she didn’t have) or to quit figure skating. she decided for the latter.

well, here she was and her sudden departure was quite a shock. but she had no choice and stated it was for personal reasons.

skipping over her being devastated over it, etc. her parents managed to save their company (whatever this company is) but at this point it was already too late and roxy was accepted into holloway.

right now she actually wants to pick up her figure skating career again, however, she’s too afraid that the blackmailer is going to expose her and also she doesn’t really know who they are (lets pretend they wrote her letters, txt messages >??) and also she’s kind of afraid due to the lack of practice she had .

personality.

okay i’ll keep this short bcs i wrote way too much for her background story. but to sum it up, roxy kind of has that perfect girl facade. considering how many friends roxy has and how social she appears to be it is odd that no one seems to be able to describe her. roxy doesn’t want people to know who she truly is, and she keeps her distance as she actively avoids conflicts that might cause her to say something wrong and exposes herself.

she shields her feelings by only presenting polished version of herself, the facade of the perfect girl: kind, hard-working and polite. someone whose life is easy and someone who looks like she doesn’t have any worries. it doesn’t mean she isn’t anything of that, but it’s not as if her kindness has no bounds or that she doesn’t need to put effort into the things she does. nevertheless, she believes that she must be perfect in order to make people like her. and while, she is pretty good at masking her emotions and smile along, as soon as someone threatens to see past the illusion, she will become defensive and won’t hesitate to lie in order to preserve it.

plots.

best friends: although roxy pretty much keeps her distance from everyone else, this person had always stood by her side. maybe they knew about roxy’s sudden wannabe-thief phase ( which she is still in ) and well tried to talk her out of it ( which obviously didn’t work ). also adding some drama here and maybe they had a big argument over it and distanced from each othr because of it. however, my angst ass doesn’t want to ruin it and they’ll rekindle their friendship. they might meet again at holloway and it’s awkward at first, maybe they even have some arguments but they’ll get over it because everyone loves a good rekindled friendship story.

annoyance: someone who gets under roxy’s skin.seeing past the perfect girl face and constantly calling her out on it. maybe they just have fun annoying her and want to see what she really likes or they just don’t like roxy , thinking that beneath all of this act, she is a really unpleasant person. perhaps, they’re even doing it with good intentions and want to show her that she doesn’t need to hide who she is. whatever it is, they’re determined to expose to the world who she really is.

pen pal ??: muse a and roxy had been friends for a very long time, yet the funny thing is that they’ve never met each other nor do they know what the other look like. all they know is their name ( or maybe they only know each other by their usernames ) and their deepest secrets. maybe they already have crossed paths many times and perhaps even know each other but don’t like each other irl. or they never had noticed the other.

blackmailer: BECAUSE WHY NOT??? the person who forced roxy to give up on figure skating. maybe, they were a rival or just didn’t like her, or any other reason. they might as well, have noticed that roxy is secretly training again and might be back at their shit again.

exes: GIVE ME THE ANGST, maybe muse a and roxy used to be in a serious relationship and as naive they were back then both of them thought this love would last forever. however, at some point roxy started to distance herself from muse a, constantly cancelling their dates because of their busy schedule. at first muse a tried to be understanding towards her, but as time passed things only got worse. roxy hating any kind of conflict just decided to ignore the problem instead about talking about it and eventually stopped replying to muse a messages. muse a never really got to know the real reason behind their break up and was left with unanswered questions. but anything works

unrequited love: (this is just me throwing in my favourite way to make myself suffer) It doesn’t matter who is the one with the the one sided love because i just want some good angst.a) muse a has a crush on roxy, yet they never told her about it. yet, muse a can’t hide it and it doesn’t take too long until roxy notices it. but instead of trying to talk to muse a about it, roxy just ignores it acting as she usually does and perhaps even give them false hope that she might like them back. maybe muse a even confessed to her and because roxy didn’t want to hurt them she told muse a she’d think about it.

b) roxy has a crush on muse a but doesn’t admit it. she doesn’t want to show their vunerable side and just plays it down. maybe they’re friends and roxy doesn’t want to lose another friend. but one day she confesses to muse a on accident, making everything awkward between them.

someone she stole from: idk i thought this would be fun ? maybe she confessed to them about it or maybe they caught her but decided to not confront her about it.

fan: someone who used to watch her perfomances on their tv and is still not over the fact that she quit.

i also have a connection page on my blog if these are too specific or none of these work

i’m too tired to come up with more dsdsdnjsd but gimme everything !! THE ANGST, FLUFF, DRAMA PLS!!!

#did i use a special font just to highlight the yeehaw ?? yes #holloway.intro #this got so long djssdsdn

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eldritchsurveys · 4 years

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1083.

Do you have a vlog? If not, have you ever considered starting a vlog? >> I don’t have a vlog and I’ve only considered it as a humorous thought exercise, not seriously. My own mannerisms and facial tics embarrass me when I’m aware of them or can see them on video, so I’d rather not put myself through that.

Did you go to AM or PM kindergarten? >> I don’t remember. Edit: I think at one point I was going to pre-K in the morning and kindergarten in the afternoon, because they realised I was precocious or whatever, but they didn’t want to just fully skip me to kindergarten (idfk, man, teachers are weird). So I went to both at the same time, and graduated from both at the end of the year.

What are your favorite youtube channels to watch? >> Wisecrack, Overly Sarcastic Productions, The Take, Philosophy Tube, ContraPoints, Ethys Asher, MTQCapture (just for FFXIV dungeon guides, but hers are the best), Final Fantasy Union, Implicitly Pretentious, NakeyJakey, Ask a Mortician... those are all the ones I can remember off the top of my head. I’m always looking for new channels, but it’s hard to find consistently interesting and well-made content that isn’t about things I just don’t particularly care about.

Which relative(s) do you look the most like? >> ---

Have you ever watched a live birth video? >> No.

Have you ever given birth? >> Heavens, no.

Do you remember when the Internet was a new thing? >> I vaguely remember when Internet for the casual at-home user became a thing. The Internet as a whole is a bit older than me, and I was very young when things like IRC came out.

Do you remember Y2K? >> Yes!

How old were you when the year changed to 2000? >> I was 12.

What was your favorite childhood vacation? >> ---

Have you ever wished you were born the opposite gender? >> I did think I was binary trans for a few years. Now I’m completely off the gender axis and floating in todash space somewhere. As intended.

What’s your birth order: oldest, middle, or youngest? >> I am the youngest of my father’s offspring.

Do you fit the stereotype for whatever birth order you are? >> I think if there’s any stereotype I’d be liable to fit, it’d be only-child stereotypes, since that’s how I was raised (my father’s other children were decades older than me and I barely knew them).

Have you ever worn overalls? >> Yeah.

If you’re a girl, how old were you when you started your period? >> I’m not a girl, but I was 11 or so.

Do you get cramps? >> I did. Awful ones, too, the kind that would incapacitate me (sometimes in public...). Which is the primary reason why I started taking the Pill -- I didn’t dare to hope that it would get rid of periods altogether, but I was very relieved and happy when it did.

Is your mom mentally stable? >> ---

Is your dad a complete jerk to you? >> ---

Where do you want to go on vacation next? >> I would love to go on a vacation to anywhere, but that’s not feasible right now.

What is one place you want to visit before you die? >> *shrug*

Has anyone ever committed suicide in your town, that you know of? >> I mean, I’m sure someone has, but I don’t know anything about it.

What’s your favorite type of crackers? >> Oh, god, I forgot what they’re called. But they’re long and thin and rectangular and they come in flavours like garlic and rosemary. Also, matzo. Love matzo, particularly the egg and onion kind.

What’s your favorite spice? >> I really couldn’t say.

Are you sensitive? >> Way more so than I’d thought I was. Turns out a complex system of protections and defense mechanisms was shielding a very soft core. (Thank god. As much as they can and do backfire and cause their own problems, can you imagine how much worse off I would have been without those mechanisms?)

Are you intuitive? >> I don’t know, really. How does one measure that?

Are you spiritual? >> Maybe. I don’t really know what people mean when they use that word, so I’m hesitant to say one way or the other.

Do you wish your life were easier? >> My life isn’t particularly difficult at this juncture. I just have... a very small window of tolerance and take things a lot harder as a result. I don’t wish my life was easier, I wish my brain was less on fire.

What color hair did your first crush have? >> ---

What was the name of your first crush? >> ---

Did you ever play on Mamamedia.com? >> No.

Do you remember your first email address? >> Yeah, it was [email protected].

Did you name your lego characters? >> I didn’t have LEGO. I had Tinker Toys and an Erector set, neither of which came with little people iirc.

What was/is your high school’s mascot? >> ---

What is/was your favorite class in high school? >> ---

Is college an adventure? >> ---

Do you take medication for anxiety or depression? If so, does it work? Does it help you? Or does it make you feel worse? >> I do not.

If applicable, what form of birth control do you use? >> The Pill. Not for the birth-control function, though... not having sex covers that pretty well.

Who is your favorite cousin? >> ---

Do you look your age? >> According to other people, who apparently care about that sort of thing, no.

What’s your favorite flavor of frosting? >> ---

Do you like toe socks? >> No.

Muffins or cupcakes? >> Cupcakes, but rarely. I just don’t like muffins period.

Have you ever had a bag stolen? >> Probably.

How old were you when you got your first phone? >> Seventeen.

Are you ready for summer?!?! >> I will be in a couple of months, you can guarantee that.

Is winter your favorite season? >> No.

How many people do you know who’ve said winter is their favorite season? >> Quite a few, actually. I feel like I’ve encountered far more winter people than summer people. I see people complaining about warm weather constantly. I will never understand (even as a person who runs hot, I will still never understand). Even with the side effect of getting SAD in the winter, I love being solar powered.

Are you unique in any way? >> I mean, probably.

Do you have any hidden talents? >> No.

Has anyone said you and your mom look like sisters? >> ---

Who was your best friend in high school? >> ---

What book or movie gave you nightmares as a child? >> None.

What song makes you cry? >> Plenty, but I can’t think of one right now.

Does anyone know who your first crush was besides you? >> ---

How many teachers have you had crushes on? >> I was thinking about this last night. Calling the obsession I had with that one teacher a “crush” is erroneous because... the reason why I felt the way I felt about him is because he was nice to me. Literally, that was it. I was freshly traumatised (and being in and out of the hospital was just re-traumatising me), had an attachment disorder and was emotionally neglected, and was used to being treated poorly. When I told That One Teacher that I cut myself, he gave me a hug. Like... groundbreaking! No one else had responded that way! Of course I was attached to him, he actually treated me like someone who deserved kindness and care. It’s really hard not to feel crushingly sad for teenage!me (and, as an extension, current!me, who is still bearing the effects of the past) when I think about that.

Did you make your Barbie dolls get crushes on each other? >> I don’t really remember what I did with Barbie dolls.

Did your Barbie dolls go on dates? >> ^

How old were you when you had your first kiss? >> ---

Do you like church? >> Eh. Depends on the church, I guess. I’ll always have affection for Black Church(tm).

Do you have scars from self-harm? >> Yep.

Do you have cellulite? >> A little, I think.

How old were you when you started getting zits? >> I had them through my teenage years.

Did your hair change at all when you went through puberty? >> I don’t think so.

Are you taller, shorter, or the same height as your mom? >> I’ve been taller than that woman since I was 12.

Would you ever consider adopting a child? >> If I was ever going to raise a child, this would be the only way it’d happen.

Who was your first roommate? >> ---

Have you ever had a teacher who was rude? >> Yup.

Is your mom paranoid? >> ---

Do you trim your own hair? >> I buzz my own head, yeah.

Did your mom read you bedtime stories as a child? >> I was not read bedtime stories as a child. I made up my own in my head instead.

What are all the things you remember being for Halloween? >> ---

What was the name of the first pet that you loved? >> Roxie.

Did you have your own room as a child? >> I did.

What color was your nursery? >> ---

Did your parents know your gender before you were born? >> I don’t know.

What is your name (first and middle)? >> Mordred Shadow.

What would you have been named if you had been born the opposite gender? >> My name isn’t related to what my parent named me, and I have no idea what he would have named me if I was born the opposite sex.

Do you like your name? >> I like the one I gave myself, yes.

What would you name your children? >> ---

Do you exercise regularly? >> I’m again trying to do the take-a-daily-walk thing. Again. I fail every time, but I keep trying. Can Calah says there’s something good about that, better than failing and giving up on ever doing it again. I don’t know, but I’ll trust him on it.

Do you have a healthy BMI? >> I don’t know.

What is your favorite season? >> Spring.

Do you look like your mom? >> ---

What is the origin of your last name? >> I have no idea. I assumed that in this world, Stephen King made it up, but maybe he didn’t. The “canonical” origin of my last name is Gilead-That-Was.

What is the meaning of your first name? >> It’s unclear.

What month were you born in? >> May.

Do you share a birthday with anyone in your family? >> ---

Do you have a sweet tooth? >> Nope.

What photo editing software do you use? >> I either use Paint to just resize or crop an image, or Pixlr if I need extra editing tools.

Where do you buy most of your clothes? >> There is no place where I buy the majority of my clothes. They come from all over.

#surveys #survey #random survey #not for reblogging *glare*

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okimargarvez · 5 years

Text

INCONVENIENCE OF BEING ROOMMATE

Original title: Terzo incomodo (o Quello che può succedere uscendo con l’inquilino di Penelope Garcia).

Prompt: Luke asks Penelope to stay in his apartment until she will find a new one.

Warning: post 13x6.

Genre: funny, romantic.

Characters: Penelope Garcia, Luke Alvez, female O.C., Roxy, Sergio.

Pairing: Garvez; Luke x O.C.

Note: oneshot 58 in Garvez collection.

Legend: 💏😘🐶🎈🎵.

Song mentioned: No vacancy, One Republic feat Tiziano Ferro.

GARVEZ STORIES

INCONVENIENCE OF BEING ROOMATE

* the move

Penelope watches her colleague walk up the stairs to her (now ex) apartment. -Look, you weren't forced to come.- she tells him when he's close enough to hear her. -Just because we will live under the same roof for a while, this doesn’t mean that we will have to do everything together.- it's not that she always go looking or studying for them, often these kinds of jokes come out naturally to her, especially with him.

A familiar grimace bends Luke's lips. -No?- he asks, inclining his head to one side, making a falsely meditated gesture. -Too bad.- he finally exclaims, when they are practically at the same height. For a few seconds they simply stare at each other in silence.

She recovers first. -Ha, ha, funny, roommate.- she calls him on purpose. The man seems to like the choice. -Now, since you're here, let's take advantage of those muscular arms that Mother Nature gave you.- she moves away to let him enter. Luke looks around. He still remembers what he had felt the first time he had been there, only a few months before, when Garcia had invited them all to celebrate the search for a responsible inebriation. It was impossible not to be struck by every detail: the colors of the walls, the paintings, every single accessory. And now only the bare walls remained of all that rainbow.

He turns to her and bends his arm, imitating a body builder. -Do you like my muscles?- he asks, winking. Penelope remains just two thousandths of a second without words, so she rolls her eyes, unable to hide a smirk altogether.

-Did I say this?- she replies in the same tone, then gives him a little push (taking advantage of it to touch that arm that seems to have been carved in the marble by Michelangelo). -C’mon, there is a bit of stuff.- he doesn’t know if he should consider it a kind of encouragement. There are boxes of all shapes and sizes almost everywhere.

-A bit it's an euphemism.- he exclaims, chuckling. Penelope doesn’t replicate anything and bends down to begin. It is not easy to leave the place where she lived for years. Where she found her identity and risked dying. -Wait, don't lift that box, it's too weigh.- his hands overlap her and the blonde stays enchanted watching the contrast of the amber fingers with hers pale. Then she forces herself to recover from the daydream.

-Luke Alvez, who do you think I am?- she leaves the box anyway, mostly to avoid feeling other shocks down her spine. -Do you think I’m a girl who is afraid of breaking a fingernail?- she challenges him with her eyes and he doesn’t hold back.

Luke doesn't even seem to realize the weight of what he has in his hands, but who knows what he brought when he was at war. Why is it so difficult to imagine him in this context? -No, but I would be sorry if it happened or if you would be hurt.- he comments, before going in the direction of the stairs, instead of the elevator. She follows him, with various bags scattered, more than it would be recommended to carry together.

-Hell, nobody can't argue with you.- he hears her muttering, and smiles. They mostly continue working in silence and communicate with looks. Mainly he limits himself to instruct her to leave him the heaviest boxes and she reminds him that this is still her home, and then gives up. Luke also notices slight hesitations every time they pass through the inner courtyard, on the steps at the entrance to the apartment complex. It has been too little time since he heard JJ's report (but even if had been twenty years, he wouldn’t have forgotten it); it is terrible to have to accept that right there a bastard shot her and even if by now not only a a spot of blood is longer distinguished, it is certain that she can still see it clearly).

It is late evening when the man closes the door. -Is there anything else?- he asks, just for confirmation. Penelope shakes her head. Her blond hair frames her white face, made even clearer by the adrupt drop in temperatures.

-No.- in fact, she shudders, climbing into the passenger seat and placing Sergio's cage in the center, not particularly happy with all this fuss. -You've seen, in the end it wasn't so much stuff.- she comments, turning slightly to look at him while they fasten their belts. -There is still a place for something else.- she also smiles at him, continuing to turn her back to the building she called home for years, with all its pros and cons.

Luke seems to understand it and, in any case, he smiles too. -On the van, not to mention the truck, which lent me one of my comrades.- he specifics, however, turning on the engine and leaving. She puts her hands clasped on her knees. For once (the first, without a shadow of a doubt) she wears pants and not a skirt or dress in his presence. Definitely a logistic choice and dictated by reason, but not for this motive the effect was less destabilizing on him.

-Thank him for me and...- a break, full of possibilities. But man is destined to be disappointed. -...is he nice?- only his being aware of the consequences that could occur even if just for a slight oversight forces him to stay with his eyes on the road.

But it doesn’t prevent him from shouting -Garcia!- in an incredulous and reproachful voice.

She shrugs. -That's there, I thought maybe I could reciprocate the favor by cooking some biscuits.- she throws it there, improvising with the first thing that comes to her mind and seeming extremely credible.

Luke fails to prevent that mischievous smile from reappearing, half grimace and not even to pose a provocative question that hides much more sincerity than she believes. -And me? How would you like to thank me?- he winks and finshes at center stage, because in front of the blonde's retinas pass unmistakable images, forbidden to minors of eighteen, sinful thoughts, disordered frames and sufficiently blurred shots to make difficult to recognize the protagonists of the clip. And sounds, it would be better to say verses, masculine and girly ones.

She swallows and turns to the window, to hide the redness on her cheeks, certainly not due to embarrassment, but to an internal heat. -Just the fact that I treat you as a person instead of a Newbie seems to me something you should be happy about.- he merely nods without repeating anything and leaving her at the mercy of doubt.

*The invasion

The day after the only signs of the sleepless night due to the disorientation of being in a strange bed, in a foreign house (but which she will have to start to consider differently) are internal. Outside the blonde's face looks as fresh as a daisy, while she scolds her colleague for the fifteenth time. -Luke, don't touch that box!- she hurries and almost trips, just to anticipate him. -Have you heard me?- the man helps her to regain her balance, so he looks at her (taking the opportunity to give her a nice exclusive look and being disappointed to see that she already done her makeup, she doesn't have a single strand out of place, like at work) confused.

-Why? I just wanted to help.- she seems struck by something that she catches in his eyes. Perhaps fragments of sincerity, of purity mind.

She nods. -Yes, but there are some things that...- she gesticulates, unable to explain without revealing too much -…in short, I prefer that they stay safe, sealed in my room, whose access is allowed only under my concession.- she particularly emphasizes the possessive adjective, placing both hands on the lid of the box to accentuate the concept. Luke chuckles, but he doesn't just seem amused.

He scratches his head. -Uh, and what should I do to obtain the privilege?- without realizing, he leans as far as possible towards her, keeping only a few centimeters of distance between their bodies.

Not even the woman realizes it, although she finds herself asking aloud the question that is spinning on her head. -Why should you want to enter the only room where you can't go freely?- and for once, there is no trace of malice in her tone, only pure crystalline naivety and the effect is like that of water on flames: not always extinguishes the fire, sometimes it makes it even more powerful and devastating.

He is still approaching a few millimeters. -For the taste of the forbidden.- he teases her, never taking his eyes off her. -Or maybe because you're there.- he admits, not even doing a lot of effort, with an intense tone, which she ignores beautifully.

-Ha ha, still try to seem funny, you're really nice.- she gives him a little push and he reluctantly decides to settle.

-I know.- he looks around. -How long do you think it will take to unbox everything?- he asks, just to continue to have an excuse to talk to her, stay close to her, so as not to lose the grip on the thin thread that binds him to her.

Penelope gives him a dirty look. -You took me for an expert in removals or for Reid?- she still managing to make him laugh. -I have no idea!- she shrugs. -This is the first time I change my house, since...- she changes mind at the last- since many years.- and then, again, she understands that she must say it aloud, to be really free from her past. -Since I left Shane.- Luke never heard that male name come out of her lips before, but he immediately realizes that it's not a relative, nor a friend.

He then takes that step that separated them without thinking twice. -Hey, I didn't want to make you think about bad things.- he adds in a low voice, gently stroking her arm and marveling that she doesn't chase him away instantly.

-But imagine!- she replies, with a little voice that is a bit too fragile to be credible. -It is a thing of the past.- with a shock she seems to shake off everything. -All right, if you really want to help me, I'll satisfied you.- Luke smiles already. -And in return you can come in my room, with warning, it's clear, once a week.- he pauses to think about the perspective that opens up before his eyes.

-But?- he finally asks, already feeling the nostalgia of the contact with her arm.

-But what?- she repeats, not understanding where he wants to go.

The man shrugs. -Surely there will be a but, or a rip-off.- he explains, catching a weak fist in the side. -Ouch!- he exclaims, intensifying tones in a theatrical way.

-You deserved it.- Penelope replies anyway. -However... my condition, no, that sounds bad.- he chuckles, knowing that he will never get tired of her messy way of talking. -I was saying... my proposal, I already like it, better, I said, my proposal is...- Luke expects some kind of torture, so much so that when she finally explains her idea, he is almost disappointed -that you give me permission to change something even in the rest of the house.- the blonde seems to read who knows what protest in the man's brown eyes. -Not your room, let it be in roughing style, even if I'm sorry for Roxy...- she hastens to specify, losing the train of her thought again. -By the way, where is my wad of fur and love?- the laughter that was being born, instantly turns into a sweet smile, dripping love and adoration to such an extent that it is really hard to understand how both can ignore it.

-My best friend is caring of her, Phil.- he explains anyway, when he recovers.

-Oh.- she nods, then a light passes in front of her. -Is he nice?- in this case it is clear to both of them that she is not really interested in the answer, but to provoke him and tease him.

And he is in her game. -Garcia! Anyway, I accept your offer.- he continues to smile at her, he has never stopped. -Shall we seal the deal with a handshake?- Penelope's answer is certainly not expected.

-And what would you like, otherwise, a kiss?- and she almost feels bad that he doesn't answer affirmatively.

Only at the end, Luke understands that the quality of the objects of his (officially) roommate is far greater than the quantity. They throw themselves down on the sofa next to each other, too tired to notice how close their bodies are.

-So now that everything is exposed... what do you think?- she asks him, not forcing herself to disguise how much she cares about his opinion, but answering in her own mind that simply depends by the willing of having a quiet life. -You must be sincere, you know that I realize if you tell a lie.- she warns him and both end up thinking about two years before and of peanut butter biscuits.

For the same reason, Luke keeps his gaze fixed on her as he speaks. -I love it.- he says simply, proud of his response, because other words wouldn’t serve to enrich the concept. She continues to observe him for a few more seconds, scrutinizes every single detail of his expression.

-What?- but the man doesn’t yield. -If you're kidding me...- and he stops her protest by simply raising his hand.

-No, seriously, I like having few things, you know, we talked about it right the day you were complaining about your ex-neighbor kunf fu naked...- for a moment he risks losing the train of his thought (like her) -but your stuff...- his eyes fly beyond the woman -I don't know, it seems to me that the atmosphere is warmer, more welcoming.- he almost stutters at the end, and even a little blushes. -It looks like a lot more a house, now.- he ends in a sigh.

But his efforts are amply repaid. -Oh, Luke!- exclaims Penelope, her voice clearly moved, before jumping on him to hug him. Just as suddenly she pulls away. -Sorry, it was... I was catch by the atmosphere.- she justifies herself, even if judging by the enormous smile of the man, there would be no need at all.

-You’re welcome.- he answers in fact, with the heart that echoes in his ears.

*the routine

-Pen, did we buy the paper towel?- it feels strange to hear him talk like that. Both the fact that he uses a diminutive, something that no one (except Shane) has ever done, or for the whole extremely relaxed tone, but above all the use of the plural: we. As if they were something, a couple, that's it. A duo, sentimentally speaking.

She is sitting at the table in the kitchen; he has opened all the doors of every cupboard. -Yes, open the locker in front of you.- she says, without even looking up. And the lost object is exactly where she said.

-Thanks.- as soon as she turns around, he notices something strange in her expression. -What is it?- he asks, sitting down right in front of her.

She turns the spoon in the cup in front of his face, without looking at him. -Nothing, it's just weird not to have a case.- she simply replies, and it's certainly not a lie, but there is something strange in her tone, which makes him think that there is also something else behind.

-Don’t say it too loudly.- he comments however, deciding to keep such suspicions for himself. -Do you know what else is weird for me?- he asks her and the woman finally raises her eyes to meet his. -Find out that you are a morning person.- he provokes her, hoping in this way to send away that melancholy air that makes her seem so different from the usual Garcia.

-Did you think I was lying on the bed all Sunday morning?- she replies in the same tone, stretching her leg to give him a kick, but only managing to tickle his foot.

-No, but...- he understands that if he wants to keep her attention he must open up, say something personal, show her that he trusts her. -I've always had trouble sleeping over seven o'clock.- he then reveals her. -I think it's one of the many gifts of the war.- he adds bitterly. -But I didn't think to find you awake when I returned with Roxy.- yes, it's just seven o'clock on a Sunday morning. And on his return, he found the table laden with all good things, even for dogs and cats. And Penelope, not in pajamas, but not properly dressed for the outside world, but in a casual style, without heels, without make-up on and with her hair in a bun.

-Oh, Alvez, I am a woman of a thousand surprises.- she says, blinking seductively, mainly so as not to be outdone. Luke doesn’t take his eyes off her, running his tongue over his lips with hungry eyes.

-I had noticed.- is all that comes out of his mouth, and who knows why, it doesn't sound like a funny or provocative joke, but rather like the pure truth.

The blonde seems to notice it, at least at an unconscious level, so much so that she backs up until her back is shaped on the chair. -Uh, yup, then, let's have breakfast?- she asks, without waiting for an answer. And already in the previous weeks he had been able to sense her culinary skills, but here the level is so high that one wonders if she is trying to get his heart through his stomach. In that case, the mission could be said to be fully successful. When last only crumbs, traces of the assault, on the tablecloth, Penelope stands up. -I wash the dishes.- she announces, heading towards the sink with plates and glasses.

Luke's hand grabs her by the wrist, risking to make her drop everything. -But no, it is my turn.- he puts himself in feet and the difference in height between them is such as to make her waver for a single moment.

With the other hand, she frees herself from his grip, slowly, by pulling away his fingers one by one. -You can't even consider the days you're out for a case.- she points out, in a calm, rational voice. -And the last time you were here, you washed the dishes, so it's my turn.- she throws him a single sharp look and reaches her goal.

-I surrender in front of your impeccable logic.- he exclaims, raising his arms as if they were about to arrest him, even if she can't see him, because she gives him her back.

-And it's better this way.- confirms the woman with a smirk on her lips.

About an hour later, from the room of Penelope seems to come a song that it's celestial, to say the least. I used to leave the doors unlocked and leave the lights on, I used to stay awake, just counting hours all night long, I had so many empty rooms inside the chateau, Yeah, oh yeah. Luke willingly or unwillingly finds herself outside that closed door, listening to her colleague, friend and now also roommate (but not cohabitant, and here is the essential difference) she sings. I'm done with sharing space with people that I don't know, trading pieces of my heart 'til I felt shallow, I had so many empty rooms inside the chateau, yeah… Despite the noise of the dryer, which clarifies how the woman she is drying her hair (those blond, silky, wonderful hair that wrapped his heart like windings from the first moment), he manages without any problem to hear every single nuance of her voice. But ever since I met you, no vacancy because of you, there's no vacancy, no empty rooms, got no vacancy, ever since I met you… No vacancy because of you… And he finds himself hoping that those words want to say something, that it concerns her moving and above all, them. Hopefully he be the person to whom she is addressed, he who has filled all the rooms always empty inside her... even if the opposite would perhaps be more appropriate. Used to be that I felt so damn empty ever since I met you, no vacancy, used to be that I felt so damn empty, ever since I met you, no vacancy… No vacancy, no vacancy… Because she's the one who bridged every gap in his life; it is the thought of her that makes him come home from a mission anyway with a smile and a serene soul, without taking anything away from Roxy. Before you, only empty, now you fill every room, before you, only empty, now you fill every room... Every room... Every room... A pause, the hairdryer is off; the man senses that she is probably combing now. He imagines being there with her, having the brush in his hands and he is not able to conceive anything more erotic in the world. I used to be the type to never take a chance, oh, had so many walls, you'd think I was a castle… I spent so many empty nights with faces I don't know… He leans on the handle and unintentionally opens the door. Penelope stops instantly.

She is wearing a fuchsia bathrobe, which leaves her legs half-thigh down exposed, tied just below her breast. -Am I bothering you?- is the first thing she thinks and says, rather than insulting him for invading her privacy. This is the straw that breaks the camel’s back of his sanity. -I didn't think about it, I'm used to doing it at home, I meant the house where I lived before and...- he takes a step, only one in her direction.

-No, you don't bother me. At all.- he smiles. -I love hearing you sing. You're very good.- she stares at him intently, her eyes half-closed, her lips tightening to form a line.

-Thanks, but flattery will not get you anywhere.- she warns in a partially playful tone. He nods and turns to go out.

-I was sincere.- he adds however, just before fading away. About ten minutes later she reaches him in the living room wearing an emerald green dress, but, to Luke's delight, still without makeup. -What will you doing, this afternoon?- he asks, watching her sit with the corner of his eye at the other end of the sofa.

-I don't know.- she answers sincerely. -I still have to get used to the environment, to the neighborhood.- she gestures, pointing to the whole universe apart from her. -You know I have difficulty with changes.- he certainly can't keep from giggling.

-Oh, yes, I know.- a little too smug, but this time she decided to spare him.

They spend at least one minute in total silence. -And you?- she finally asks, just to get out of this impasse.

Luke looks her straight in the eye and she seems to be genuinely interested in knowing the answer. -I think I'll go to my friend Phil and then... later there should be a baseball game.- he shrugs. Certainly nothing special, all too trivial by Penelope Garcia's standards.

But she nods and chuckles. -Yeah, you're that type.- she also gives him a slight nudge, more affectionate than playful. -On this you would get along with Morgan, he was also very good at baseball, as a boy.- her gaze flies far, beyond time and space.

-I don't doubt it...- a slight twinge in his side. -And ... how is him?- she seems to try to escape his eyes, but finally gives up. -Did you tell him about the big step?- her cheeks turn red for a few seconds.

-In this way you make it seem like we went to live together... I mean...- she gets mixed up, and he loves her when it happens. And she has noticed ir. -...you understand.- she sighs. -Anyway, he doesn't know it yet.- an idea illuminates the whole face. -Maybe I could call him today.- Luke stands up and before he can stop it, his hand touches her knee.

-Good.- she doesn’t seem to react in any way. -I'm going to change.- he says.

-You don't have to tell me your every move as if I was your bodyguard or your mom.- he hears her scream behind him, and chuckles. He also thinks he heard her humming something a cappella, but perhaps he only imagined it.

He is still thinking of it when, in the middle of a historical hit, his phone starts ringing. While responding with a generic -Alvez-, having his eyes glued to the screen, his best friend teases him asking if this is not his girlfriend.

Penelope barely manages to distinguish a few words in the exchange between the two men, before pronouncing one in her turn. -Luke.- and seems to be enough.

-We have a case, I understand.- he sighs, shakes hands with Phil and recovers the few things he brought with him. -I'll pick you up, can you take my bag?- he feels the hesitation even though they are on the phone. -It's in my room.- he adds then. He listens to her steps on the floor.

-I don't know if it's really...- she tries to protest, but meanwhile she tightens the handle. - ...ok.- her eyes rest on the only object that corresponds to the parameters, perfectly aligned at the foot of the bed. -Found.- he hears her exclaim, but understands how she still has something to comment on. -Damn it, it's not a facade, you're really an orderly type.- she adds a few moments later.

Luke reaches his car, gets on board and slams the door. -And is it a wrong thing?- he asks.

-No, but it is strange for a male bachelor, even if...- he anticipates her, feeling again that thick in the side.

-...Morgan too was like that, I guess.- he says in her place, rolling his eyes in annoyance. Fortunately, the clinic where Phil lives is close to his (their) home. -Come out, I'm on our way.- he announces five minutes later, feeling the end-call click. She goes up, placing Luke's bag at her feet, next to her own and practically they don’t speak until they see the outline of the building in which they work.

Penelope says one word again; a name. -Luke.- but there is urgency in her tone, something that forces him to give her a quick glance.

-What?- he asks only. He expects her to hesitate, to change her mind. He's wrong.

-You'll be careful, won't you?- she asks instead, placing her hand on the male one on the steering wheel. He feels a shiver along the entire spine.

-I'm always careful.- he tries to sound nice and playful, but she doesn't compromise.

He feels her fingernails in the flesh and a dreamlike image passes in front of him: their bodies intertwined and she, while screaming, leaves red marks on his back. Scratches that don't hurt. -I'm serious.- he enters the parking lot entrance, slides his card and the barrier rises. She lets him go.

-Yes, Pen, I will do everything not to get killed.- when they are still in the car, he looks her in the eyes and she does the same. -But do you worry about me?- he exclaims, gloating.

She silences him with a sharp gesture of her hand. -I think it's one of the inconvenience of being roommates.- she replies, before walking quickly towards the elevator, leaving him behind, but giving him a different gift.

*the guest

It could be any Wednesday night. Just concluded a case in town. Penelope stays silent throughout the short trip, letting him talk freely. -So you are sure it’s okay for you?- he asks her for the umpteenth time, holding the door open gallantly.

-Alvez, it's your kitchen, you can invite whoever you like to dinner.- she replies, with a sharp tone and a little annoyed. This is also why he follows her up, placing a hand in the middle of her back. There are many drawbacks, as she says, of being roommates; but also positive aspects. Among these is the freedom gained in being able to touch her body and be touched in his turn.

-No, that's not true.- he says, barely moving his fingers. -It's also yours and if it bothers you...- she spins around, even to block that kind of caress or massage.

-Why should it?- she looks at him, but doesn’t give him time to reply. -However, I won't even be at home.- she then reveals to him, just as suddenly. -I go out with Kevin. We met and... he asked me to go out with him.- a slight smile brushes the woman's lips. But behind it there aren't so many false hopes not to forget what she feels throwing herself into the arms of an ex... nor to make him jealous. She moves only based on affection.

-Uh.- it's all that comes out of the man's mouth. Once again that stab.

She seems to notice something strange. -Don't worry, I'd never take him here.- she reassures him then, blushing because she doesn't know why she said it. -Now I have to go get ready.- he nods, throwing himself in the shower to do the same. He has always imagined her as one of those women who leave their boyfriend to wait (yes, although to be correct we should specify that he imagined himself in this role and that anyway it would be worth every time, to arrive late to the restaurant), instead she comes out of her room only five minutes after him. She enters the living room and both Roxy and Sergio stare at her. - How do I look?- she asks then, taking a ride on herself and make swirling her skirt. -Luke?- he literally remains speechless. So much so that Penelope approaches, she passes a hand in front of him. -Are you there?- he reacts, blinking several times to focus on her.

-Yes, yes, I... wow.- he finally exclaims, with a sweet smile. -You look stunning.- he admits without embarrassment. She lets herself go into a childish giggle.

-Do you say this as a colleague, as a roommate or as a friend?- she asks him though.

Luke stands up and takes a step in her direction, facing her. -As a man.- their eyes chase each other for a few seconds, while static energy can be felt in the air. -You are beautiful.- then he adds, deciding not to hold in what he feels. And she reads his sincerity in his face.

-Thanks!- she claps her hands together and then caresses his shoulder. -You look very good too.- she says. -So...- they look at each other, perhaps both wondering the same thing. Why are they about to meet other people, when there is nothing in the world that they would like to do more than spend this evening together? Without knowing it, they also dressed in a combination: he was wearing a red shirt and jeans, casual and elegant at the same time; she a red dress with a wide skirt and a jacket (in jeans) in case she was cold -...good luck.- she says, feeling a buzzing in her head.

-Even to you.- he echoes her, a little too late. There is something wrong. -Penelope!- he calls, when she is almost at the door. She turns to look at him, a faint hope shines in her pupils. -What time do you think you're coming back?- Luke asks, and she responds with a grimace. She then decides to activate the maximum protection level.

-I don't know, daddy, I have to send you an SMS first, so I won't find you two in compromising positions?- she provokes him, putting malice in an exponential amount. But the man doesn’t seem to want to laugh.

-I didn't ask for it.- he shakes his head. -Forget it.- she just looks at him. -Have a good evening.- fortunately only a quarter of an hour has passed since Penelope is gone to when the bell starts to ring. -Hi, Micaela.- he greets her, fully enjoying the slight shiver as she smiles at him. She is undeniably a beautiful woman: slender and sporty build, auburn curly hair, green eyes. She's really beautiful, but she's not here for that. She is here because someone has practically forced him to organize this appointment.

-Hello. Am I early?- he shakes his head.

-No, no, come on in. This is my humble abode.- he recites in a deliberately refined tone, making her laugh.

The woman looks around. -Oh, but... I didn't think a lonely man could have so much good taste without being gay.- Luke scratches his head behind, feeling a different kind of puncture. Like a sting in the back, while a little voice in the head reminds him that even when she is absent, it is as if she still were there.

-Well, good, I'm not so lonely...- he finds himself forced to admit. -I have a roommate.- Micaela doesn’t reply anything, she lets him finish. -We... We are colleagues, we work on the same team.- he decides to limit himself to saying, regretting, because he would at least have to present her as also his friend.

But she seems to be satisfied. She nods vigorously. -Oh, I understand.- she looks at the rest of the house, but there seems to be someone else missing. -And where is the dog you told me about?- not even Luke paid any attention to that. Too many thoughts swirling in his head.

-I don't know, it's strange that she wasn't here waiting for me.- she's not in her room, nor in the area dedicated to her, that screams Garcia in every single object. -Roxy!- he calls her. -Rox, come on, we have guests!- then, he has a doubt. He beckons Micaela to wait and opens the door to the only room he cannot show to his guest. And the dog is right on Penelope's bed, next to Sergio. Reluctantly she obeys, goes down and comes out. -Here she is.- but She remains however at a certain distance.

-Hey, honey, come here.- Micaela bends over, but Roxy ignores her. She doesn't growl at her, but she doesn't even show affection. Not even the first time she saw Emily, she was so cold.

Luke shrugs. -She will be on a bad day. Even the dogs have them, after all.- she nods, immediately going beyond the question.

-Yes.- and she even smiles. And it is at that moment that a perverse thought (needless to call it otherwise, even if it doesn0t imply anything sexual) appears in his mind: and if Roxy had behaved in this way with Penelope? Certainly, she would not have let this pass without doing something, she would have accused him of having corrupted her dog, of having persuaded her not to show her affection for spite her or would have started to grumble and whimper, full of pain... -So, let's eat?- the voice of the woman makes him recover. -We can continue the tour of the house later...- there seems to be something mischievous in her eyes, but the man doesn’t catch the message.

-Yes, it's not like there's so much to see.- he says. -Do you prefer to dine outside or inside?- she strokes his arms, naked and velvety, with an apparently innocent manner.

-It’s a little cool, if it's not a problem...- he interrupts her, placing his hand on her shoulder for a second, brushing her.

-But you figured, come on.- the dining room is already ready; he hoped she would answer like that. He also helps her to sit down and think back to the only time he tried to do the same thing with... with her, the light slap on his hand and the blonde's laugh as she asked him if he was training to go out with a real girl , one day.

-Thanks.- Micaela repays him instead. -What a gentleman.- she exclaims, blinking seductively. -Phil had told me, but...- Luke goes around the table, sitting in front of her.

-You don't have to believe at his loudmouth.- he mutters, blushing without an apparent reason.

She still seems to appreciate this reaction too. -For now you have proved yourself far above expectations.- she reveals, before taking a sip of wine in an extremely elegant way, a way that would make any straight man move. He is actually staring at her carefully, until both hear a sound like something heavy that has fallen, coming from one of the adjoining rooms. -What was it?- she asks, more confused than scared.

Luke gets up, already in professional mode. -I don't know, maybe Roxy.- he misses the weight of the gun in his side. -I'm going to see, stay here.- she nods. He sees the door of his friend's room and a half-open colleague, and he is sure he has closed it, after having let the dog out. -Hey, is there anyone?- he asks, feeling like an idiot. -I'm a federal agent, so you have chosen the wrong house to rob...- he warns, thinking of going to get a weapon, when the door opens and behind it... -Penelope!- he shouts. -Shouldn't you be at the appointment with Kevin?- she's still wearing the same nice dress and shoes, but the makeup is gone.

-Yes.- she only says, not just a single joke, but not even a short sentence of explanation.

She then stays partially sheltered behind the door and held on to it like a castaway, like Jack in Titanic. -What happened?- he notices a few more details. No, she probably didn't cry. But she is profoundly sad.

-It happened that he came accompanied and that he wanted to tell me that he is getting married with Gina.- she explains to him flatly, without trying to protest that they are not his business. That twinge again, this time on his hips.

He stretches his hand to caress her (the cheek, the chin, the shoulder), but then he doesn’t find enough courage to conclude the action taken. -Oh, Pen, I... I'm sorry ...- she shakes her head instead.

-No, don't say anything.- she tells him, though not putting much emphasis on it. -Come back to your friend and let at least one of us manage to finish the evening well.- an orange hair ball appears between her legs. Roxy is also on her side.

But Luke is already ready to send his appointment to the hell. -Are you sure, I could...- Penelope understands it, but it's not what she wants.

She nods. -Yes, don't worry about me.- the door closes a little more.

-This is not possible, but that's okay.- the man whispers, remaining still a few seconds there to meditate.

The other woman waits for him to sit before asking the obvious question. -It's all OK?- but her eyes are not turned on by real interest.

-Yes, it was my roommate, her appointment was cancelled.- why the hell did he have to tell the complete truth about a fact that didn't concern any of them?

She paints a sad expression on her face. -Oh sorry.- she touches his arm , causing him some brief shocks. -Let's eat?- even if he didn't understand it, someone is already thinking about after dinner.

-Of course, I've already prepared everything.- he leans over to remove a steaming pan from the oven. -I hope you like lasagna.- he can hear noises coming from the kitchen , but both ignore them. -It's vegetarian, though. You know, Penelope...- Micaela interrupts him.

-I bet it's your roommate.- she says, with a grimace that wanted to seem nice.

-Yup.- he confirms, with a very different attitude. -She doesn't eat meat, so, in order not to always have to cook two different things...- he starts to explain, but she silences him by stroking his hand and almost making him tickle.

-I got it.- she looks at him intently, without ever taking her eyes off his. -It 'll be okay, for once I will be a goat.- a pain in the back, while he's trying to appear amused.

-Ha ha, what a nice joke.- but Micaela doesn’t notice the forcing tone.

-And it’s just the beginning.- she winks and the touches his arm again, this time even by scratching it. And just as Luke tries to elaborate what is happening, Penelope appears with an innocent look.

-Oh, sorry!- she hangs on the threshold. -I don't want to disturb you, I just have to take something I forgot.- she starts looking for it, giving them their backs, but neither Luke nor Micaela open their mouths, continuing what they have undertaken. But the curly is reassured by the appearance of his roommate, she couldn’t imagine better; she had in fact begun to have strange sensations for the way in which Luke had spoken about him/her, too full of affection... but it is simply a feeling of friendship, almost brotherhood. After finding what she was looking for (a cup in the shape of a shark's mouth, directly from the set of Spielberg's film, The Beast, Penelope approaches the couple. -Anyway, at this point...- she stretches her hand to another woman. -I am Penelope. Nice to meet you!- she exclaims, and the thing that hurts Luke most is her sincerity.

-Micaela.- the other replies, imitating her smile, but not getting the same effect. -I've heard a lot about you.- she reveals, however, unaware of causing damage especially to herself.

In fact, the blonde is surprised, and for the first time she glances at Luke. -Really?- but he doesn't react. -Well, I hope they aren't too embarrassing, however...- a very short pause, in which the man vibrates from the terror of what she can say. -Good evening.- Penelope is about to go back to the kitchen, but stops and turns back . -Oh, please, never cook anything that contains cucumbers.- she suggests to the other woman, with the tone of someone who wants to imply that there is already a past about. -It makes a strange effect on him, I wouldn't say really unpleasant, but...- Luke blushes deeply. -Let's just say that later, cucumbers would not be the only long thing in the room. A word to the wise...- and this time she really disappears.

Micaela looks at him and doesn't find word for a good minute. -Wow, really interesting, your friend.- in the end she opts to take it with laughter and he doesn't correct her. -Where were we?- indifferent to what happened (indeed, even a little more intrigued) she starts touching him again , caressing his arm. Luke smiles at her, just happy that she doesn't want to go into the subject further. With this quite spicy atmosphere they manage to finish eating in peace, but the quiet doesn’t last long. Penelope returns and this time she has changed: she is wearing a suit (which he knows it's a pajama) that he thinks is still good on her.

-Luke, I 'm sorry to have to break your spaces again, but I can't find my headphones and I absolutely need them.- she says, all in one breath, completely ignoring the guest. -Did you take them, by chance?- the last two words underlined by a sharp look.

He scratches his head, guilty. -Yes, they are in my room.- he confesses.

She shakes her instead. -Ok to use them, but at least you could remember to put them back in their place.- she scolds him, and for a moment they both seem to ignore that they are not alone. There is something in their attitude, in their reciprocal way of doing, that could make Micaela worry, if it weren't that she just can't imagine them together. However…

-Sorry.- he only answers her, and he doesn't pretend to be saddened, he really is.

The blonde seems to be satisfied with his reaction. -Okay, good continuation, lovebirds.- she winks above all at the other woman, who this time can't hold back.

-Wow.- she exclaims, pursing her lips and beginning to give in to doubts.

-What?- Luke asks, trembling (thankfully more inside than out).

-Are you sure that you two are just co-worker and roommates?- she insinuates for the first time, something that he would have expected long before, something he feared throughout the evening.

-Why?- he replies with another question, trying to mask his hope that Micaela's impression is correct and that therefore between the two of them there is something more than a friendship-cohabitation. However wrong it is to have such a thought while he is at dinner with another woman. The heart goes where it goes, they say.

-I don't know, maybe it's just an impression.- she scrutinizes him trying to pick up some signals. -Why her headphones were in your bedroom?- finally she decides to leave him the benefit of the doubt.

Luke sees the answer before his eyes through a scene that seems to have been torn from a sitcom. -Here, mine are broken and I don’t remember ever to buy another, so I borrow hers and then at times we see the movies together and put the headphones to not disturbing Roxy and Sergio.- he babbles, getting stuck several times and feeding even more the suspicions of the redhead.

-Sergio?- she frowns.

-Yes, our...- he doesn’t stop quite quickly. -Penelope's cat.- in the kitchen, even if they are not able to see her, the nominated smiles. All notices that sort of lapsus, and then she doesn't consider Roxy as something of her own? Didn't all of them, in these weeks or perhaps months, become a sort of strange family?

-Uh.- the other woman comments instead, continuing to spin the wheels of her brain, but finally deciding to ignore her rational voice. -Wow, are you an animal lover too? You gave me a different impression.- Luke sees the only good opportunity he has left to get out of this mess. Will he ever have the courage to really expose himself with Penelope? He already knows the answer, unfortunately. So, is it really necessary to preserve himself for a woman who will never be his?

-Well I don't know if I can really define myself...- he tries to justify himself, but the other continues, ignoring him.

-I like them too, for heaven's sake.- bad debut, thinks Penelope beyond the wall, eavedropping without wanting, while they start to hear the noises of pots and pans that are moved. -But you have to have criteria, you can't consider them as people.- the blonde clenches her hands in fist, planting her fingernails in the flesh and risking to make them bleed. And to think that she could also like her. -Do you agree?- asks Micaela, but Luke is aware that she is close enough to hear his answer. And in any case, he doesn't want to lie. On what basis would their relationship be based?

-Not really...- he starts, and immediately sees the disappointment on the redhead's face. -For me, Roxy is worth far more than a lot of people I've met.- he confesses, even with too much effort.

-Mmm.- she bites her lips. -Have you ever hunted animals?- He can almost feel the tension in the air. Penelope almost even stops breathing, precariously poised on a chair.

-No.- finally answers and he hears someone cheer in the other room. Micaela looks at him and then beyond his shoulders.

-You don't know what you're missing.- she says, and a strange light shines in her eyes. -The adrenaline, the pursuit, that communion of...- she speaks freely.

Man's attempts to stop her are of no use. -Micaela...- she ignores him merrilly.

-The communion of the hunter and the prey participating in the same dance...- she continues as if he hadn’t said anything. -If you think about it, it's a bit of a dance, a mating ritual, too.- it's like she's talking to herself. -And the life and death that challenge each other and...- he even touches her on the arm, to make her recover from the trance.

-Mic...- but this time she doesn't even let him finish her name.

-And have you ever seen a live bullfight?- Luke shakes his head, but even if he was perfectly still, nothing would change. -It's a spectacular hunt, but it's great to see matadors and bulls united in death and resurrection.- he can't help but imagine what Penelope is thinking and what she would say if she were in his place.

And here it is as if she (that she, of course) had entered into him. -Actually the bull really dies and if you refer to spiritual death... Only the matador has this privilege.- he corrects her and also feels a certain pleasure. -The bull remains sadly dead.- and how to forget the tears of the blonde when they had watched a documentary together that explained the little spectacular truth hidden behind the veil of the muleta? -However, it's nice to see you so passionate about a topic, but...- he tries to divert the subject, he doesn't want to despise her just because they have divergent opinions, even if on ethical things and therefore fundamental arguments. On the other side of the wall, Penelope thinks Luke listens to her and really knows her; and at that precise moment, with one leg in the air, she is enveloped by two feelings that seem perfect for being together: sadness and jealousy. And she understands an equally fundamental truth: she is in love with her roommate.

However, Micaela seems to have somehow understood that a change of course is better. - Come on, tell me about when you were on the fugitive team.- she gets up and moves the chair to be practically stuck to him. -It's so sexy.- she blinks her eyelids once while her hand caresses his knee. And the other (which feels even more such, like the intruder, in this context) is imagining even worse, fantasizing only from the noises.

She doesn’t draw his attentions. -Well, I felt and I feel again, what you were saying, more or less.- he shrugs. -Tracking, the stakeout, waiting, patience, setting the trap, studying every detail... yes, this is definitely exciting.- he agrees. But the prey he has in mind has precise connotations.

-You see?- the redhead is getting even closer. -We are made for each other.- she comments and Luke knows what is going to happen and he doesn't pull back anyway. When between their lips there is less than a centimeter, a tremendous roar is heard caused by a cascade of pots, various scrap metal that falls on the floor and shortly afterwards something wooden, a chair, to be precise, and finally a body. Both jump, but Luke immediately understands the meaning of that commotion.

-Penelope!- shouts, seeing her on the ground massaging her leg. There is a hole in her pants. -Did you... Did you hurt yourself?- he leans over to see better. -You’re bleading... oh my God, you need patches, hydrogen peroxide and it must be disinfected immediately...- he completely loses his mind, goes into hyperventilation. -Maybe I should call 911...- he meditate to himself and thankfully he doesn't have a cell phone at hand.

-All right there, honey?- Micaela's voice asks, which seems light years away.

-Yes!- replies Penelope, but her voice is obscured by the male one.

-No.- at the same time the two also fight a staring contest.

-Luke?- she calls him again, confused by the contrasting answers.

-I’m here, just a moment.- replies the man, without masking the annoyance. -Wait, stand still.- he orders. -I'll go get the stuff. You don't move.- he repeats, standing up.

-You are crazy.- she comments, but obeys him anyway. -I can do it alone.- eye contact is still active. -It's not broken.- she points out uselessly. -You must return immediately to Micaela.- she is the voice of reason, for once. What she says would be right, it would be the right thing to do. But accepting this appointment in his confused state was already wrong at the preconditions.

-Luke?- again the guest asks for the attention she deserves.

He doesn't answer her and shakes his head, stubborn. -No, now you need me.- Penelope looks at him, almost in shock. -She will wait.- he adds.

-You will never have a woman, Alvez, if you continue like this.- she still protesting weakly. Luke goes out and comes back laden like a mule: bandages, plasters, pharmaceutical products in various formats. -You're out of your mind, I say it again.- he ignores her, bending down again and rolling up her trousers until he reaches the injured area. -Ouch, hell, it burns.- she complains. At the end of the medication, she hopes to get rid of him. -Now go.- she commands.

But he hasn't finished. -No, I have to check that you can stand and walk.- he says.

Penelope gives him the last warning with her eyes. -Luke, I'm serious.- and he keeps up with her, never taking his own.

-I'm not joking.- and the trouble is that he is sincere. Then she grabs him by the shirt collar, trying to pull him away, instead she gets the opposite effect, makes Luke fall near her own body. Too close. They stare at each other for a while, in a way that seems at the same time the same, but that is also new, both guessing what will happen just a thousandth of a second before it happens. He lowers and she stands up, until their lips meet, skipping the sweetness to go straight to the point and exchanging hard, hungry, aggressive kisses, too long postponed.

-Hey, Luke, did you solve? Penelope? Are you alive?- not getting any kind of sensible answer, poor Micaela enters the kitchen, unaware that she never had one chance to become her, having always been the other. So she remains a few seconds astonished to see them kissing on the floor, perfectly at ease. She was just wrong about one thing: they are really cute together. And against her will, also hypnotic. -I should have imagined it. Do you still have that colleague's number?- she asks, more to see how deep they are immersed in their world. -I'm sure he lives alone.- she comments. -If you don't count a goldfish.- she adds. And this last joke seems to shake Penelope, who separates first.

-Don't leave, it was just a...- she pulls herself to his feet, trying to give her words more credibility. -A comforting kiss, Luke was taken by the role of caring rescuer, right?- she looks at the man who, however, shakes his head.

-No.- he even says, sending her into a panic.

-At least someone here is honest with his feelings.- Micaela comments, throwing a dart at the blonde. If she were in her place, she wouldn't even have half a hesitation. -Listen, without rancor.- she spreads her arms. -I'll call a taxi. And anyway... Phil had warned me that you were a involved single, but I didn't understand in what sense.- she shakes her head. It does not matter anymore. -Talk to your friend, okay?- she doesn’t wait for an answer, goes to the exit, but turns back, with a mischievous look. -Good evening and, please... remember the Cucumbers!- Penelope blushes, cursing her own tongue. Live by cucumber, die by cucumber.

Meanwhile, Luke has also recovered. -What just happened?- she asks in an accusatory and angry tone, pushing him away with all her strength.

The man is in a very different mood. -It happened that you sent my date to hell.- he smiles, slyly, with a look like a boiled fish. And he takes a step towards her.

-It was you who threw yourself on me!- she cries, continuing her escape, slowly.

-Throw me on you?- he thinks about it seriously. -It seems to me that you did your part.- he finally says, but then decides to have other priorities. -Anyway...- he shrugs, he pulls back close to kiss her again.

Penelope's pupils dilate in a mix of fear and excitement. -What are you doing?- she asks with a trembling little voice, unable however to take her eyes off the man's lips.

-What I wanted for a long time.- he says, bending down. She doesn't reject him, but eventually Luke changes his mind. -Penelope...- he chooses to be content with holding her in his arms in an intimate way, not really different in form from their previous hugs, but still different in substance.

-Yup?- she replies, not knowing what to expect.

-What did you need headphones for?- he investigates, toying with her hair with his free hand. She understands that he thinks she may have done it on purpose.

-I wanted to see a movie so as not to hear you two.- she reveals therefore, with a sad tone. -I have the defect of having too much developed hearing.- she tightens the lips until they turn white.

-And the pans?- he continues, as he admires every detail of her face.

She shrugs. -I was looking for a kettle to make me a cup of tea. You know that...- He literally takes the words out of her mouth.

-There is nothing better than a good movie and a cup of tea.- he imitates his voice, making her laugh. -Except maybe a good book, a cup of tea and a steaming tub.- but she stops quickly and looks at him in a terribly serious way. -What is it?- he fears to have exaggerated.

-You scare me.- she admits. -You... You really listen to me when I talk.- he nods.

-Of course, I listen to you.- even if he's not particularly concentrated right now. -I listen to you even when you don't speak.- he warns, throwing allusions that maybe will be clarified later. He approaches her so that their faces are parallel.

-Why?- but their eyes are too.

-Because I can't help but find anything that comes out of your mouth wonderful.- he says spontaneously.

It's like a slap, a bucket of water frozen down her back. -Oh. You know... I think...- she understands that he deserved to know the whole truth. Even the one she hadn't even confessed to herself yet. -I was a little jealous, and... Sad, and I didn't see where I put my foot so I fell from my chair but got caught in a pan and the rest you know.- she spreads her arms as tightly as she can in his sweet grip.

-Yes.- he nods, before pulling her against him and kisses her. Like for the first, she kisses him back. -What movie were you watching?- yet another question. Penelope's hands are still sunk in his hair.

-He’s just not that into you.- they only talk to each other with their eyes, before changing positions. -But tomorrow you’ll buy a pair of headphones.- she tells him, trying to make him understand how the transformation in their relationship will not change other situations. Not immediately, at least.

He chuckles, amused by her intransigence. But he decides to play just as heavy. -If you sleep with me tonight.- suddenly the atmosphere becomes serious.

-Luke...- she warns. As much as she wishes (it would be ridiculous to say otherwise at this point) she doesn’t feel ready for it to happen tonight. She has already had enough emotions to brush the heart attack.

-I said sleep and I intend to sleep.- she states the man, with all possible sincerity.

And she believes him. -Deal.- they shake hands, but he only grabs it to take advantage of her and steal another kiss. Between roommates and cohabitants there is just one step. And they just did it.

------------------------------------------------------

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#garvez #criminal minds #cm #penelope garcia #luke alvez #penelope x luke #luke x penelope #garcia x alvez #alvez x garcia #luke x o.c.#post 13x6 #tiziano ferro #one replublic #no vacancy #criminal minds fic

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celestica-1988 · 5 years

Text

She Is My Girl

TheDirtTommyLeeXFemale reader.

Requested: yes. By @keepcalm-and-beyou

“Can I get a imagine where MGK as Tommy Lee is dating the reader but she had a past fling with Nikki sixx and Nikki takes every chance he gets to bring it up pissing off tommy . Nikki as well loves to flirt with the reader leading to making Tommy jealous where one night Tommy snaps. “

Warning: presence of violence

It was a calm peaceful night and you were resting in Tommy’s arms.

You were sleepy after sex and as always your thoughts came to you in casual order, or so it happened usually. Today was different, Nikki was your first and worried thought.

It wasn’t like you were tired of Tommy and started to love Nikki, at all.

The problem was that Nikki was your ex, if you could call someone you’ve been in a relationship for just a month an ex.

It has been the worst month of your life, you were really in love with him, but for him it was just a game, nothing more. He cheated on you since the day one of your relationship and when you confronted him about it, he just shrugged the shoulders and said it was normal in rapport with a rockstar, that you should have been happy to be his number one. But you didn’t want to be his number, you wanted to be his only one, but that was never going to happen.

Your heart still ached a year and six months after this deranged thing. It took a lot to you to break up with Nikki, you were so caught in that toxic relationship that you sat everything out. You have to thank Mick and Tommy if you break free in the end. Slowly and with patience they made you understand that a relationship with a rockstar wasn’t different from any other, except for being a long distance one sometimes, and cheat wasn’t a rule. It was just Nikki’s difficulty in commitment.

The last straw was that you caught him having sex with your best friend on your birthday, in your bed, the one you shared with him.

Enough was enough and you broke up with him that day.

It hurt, you spent the first three months after crying in Tommy’s arms. He was the one who was always beside you, who gave you the strength to ignore Nikki’s pleas to come back with him.

After six months Tommy told you that he loved you, but he would respect whatever decision you would take, but you have no doubts. In this six months you found out that Tommy was more than a goofball of energy, a puppy or an idiot. He was a sensitive guy who wanted a relationship, always ready to fall in love like it was the first time.

You kissed him and your relationship with him started and with that they also started problems: Nikki never accepted that you now were Tommy’s girl.

He was annoying and persistent, always ready to tease you and provoke Tommy, constantly reminding him you have been his girlfriend.

Tommy never reacted but you knew he was tired and about to lose patience with his best friend.

Tomorrow there would be a pool party and the guys surely would be there, Vince was impatient to introduce to everyone his new girlfriend: Sharise.

You had a bad feeling about that party.

You hoped for the best, but you were prepared for the worst.

And the worst was Tommy and Nikki fixing the problem with their fists. You noticed that every time they were together there was tension, a low stream of hate towards each other.

You were worried, but what could you do?

You loved Tommy and you had no intention to come back with Nikki.

What would be would be.

You felt asleep dreaming a world in where Tommy and Nikki were friends.

………………………………..

The next day you spent the morning preparing for the party.

You organized the decorations, the position of every single table, beach chair, food and drinking.

There were a lot of beer, fuel on the fire, you thought absent-mindedly.

Tommy just walked around the house, ignoring the catering, and tried to play drums for a while, but when you heard curses you knew the session was over.

You went to his studio with an apologetic look.

“Sorry, love. But this afternoon there will be the party and I need to get the things fixed.”

“No problem. I just can’t concentrate and I don’t know why, I’m always so nervous.

Even playing the drums helps me.”

You felt really sorry because you knew why he was so nervous.

It was because the tension between him and Nikki, they used to be best friends and now they barely talked to each other. You hugged him from behind and planted a kiss on his neck.

“It’s okay. Sometimes we are stressed, but I’m sure that you will feel better after this party.” He smiled and relaxed a bit.

“Yea, you are right. There’s nothing better than a party to light up the mood.

Is it all set?” “Yes, baby.” “I’m hungry.” “Let’s eat some sandwiches. It’s midday after all.” “Ok.” You two left the studio and went in the kitchen, there were some sandwiches, leftovers of the catering in case people would end them at the party.

You ate a couple of them and then you wear your bath suit: a yellow bikini for you and shorts for Tommy.

At two o’clock the bell rang and you opened the door: it was Nikki who looked you with satisfaction.

“How beautiful is my girl today.” “I’m not your girl.” You said coldly, but it didn’t stop him from lingering around you more than necessary, Tommy had already got his fists clenched. Soon after the rest of the band arrived, Vince brought a blonde girl who you supposed was Sharise.

You hugged everyone and then you went all outside, at the pool.

Vince was about to introduce the girl when Nikki picked you up and jumped in the pool with you, scaring the living shit out of you.

“Ain’t it fun, angel?”

He said when you emerged from the water panting hard and with your heart about to explode for the shock.

“No, it fucking wasn’t.”

He laughed and he lifted you up, you started to kick and scream, scared of his behavior.

Luckily Tommy took you from your feet and dragged you away from the bassist, you hugged him tightly on the verge of crying.

“Sh, love! Everything is okay, I’m here with you.” “Thank you, thank you.” He caressed gently your hair and finally you two got out of the pool and Vince introduced Sharise, she was a nice girl and she and Vince seemed really in love.

The party kicked in when also the rest of guests arrived and you started to dance with Tommy, Nikki was forgotten for a while.

Dancing on metal songs got you tired, after a while you sat on a beach chair to rest for a moment, Nikki took the chance and hugged you from behind. You couldn’t move, he held your hands.

“Let me go.” You said annoyed.

“Nah, angel. Who fucked you better?” “Tommy.” Your voice was firm even though you started to be scared of him.

“Wrong answer and we both know it. I’m the one who fucked you better.

And who made you scream more?” “Tommy, always Tommy.

Leave me alone.” “Wrong answer again, angel.

I’m the one who made you scream more. You are mine and it’s time to take you back.” He started to kiss your neck, you started to wiggle out of him.

“Stop, Nikki.

This is too much, I won’t come back with you.

Never. Ever.

I love Tommy!”

He didn’t listen to you but after some minutes you were free.

Tommy was punching Nikki, you never saw him so angry, there was fire in his eyes.

“Stop harassing my girl.” He screamed between a punch and another.

“I let you play your games because I hoped you understood you fucked up and lost your chance, but you didn’t. Now I’m tired, time to beat the shit outta you.” The fight lasted for five minutes then Vince and Mick separated the terror twins, Nikki was the most hurt one, Tommy looked at you. There was panic in his eyes, he watched his bloody hands and ran away.

You knew what he was thinking, he didn’t want you to see his violent side and got scared of it.

You exchanged a look with Mick, Nikki wasn’t beat too bad after all so you left him and ran towards the house. Tommy was in your bedroom, you knocked loudly.

“Go away, Y/N. It’s dangerous if you come.” “No, Tommy! Don’t say that.

You are not dangerous and I love you, can we talk?”

There was silence from the other side.

“Please, Tommy, I love you.

Don’t shut me off.” You were crying now.

Finally the door opened and you hugged him tightly.

You watched at his bruised face and kissed gently his lips.

“Everything is okay, let’s talk in the room.” You walked in it and sat on the bed.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean to show you ever this side of me.

I can become violent when the rage is too much to handle, I’m not the kind of man you deserve.” “Oh, shut up. I’m happy that you saved me from Nikki! I know you didn’t want to beat him, but he asked for it.

I know you would never beat a woman, right?”

“Right.” He was hesitant.

“I punched one of my girlfriends because she talked shit about my mom.” “I know, Roxy, right?”

He nodded.

“How can you trust me?” “Because I know that you love me and you will never hurt me on purpose.” Tommy sighed.

“I don’t deserve you, but you choose me anyway, who am I to tell you what to do?” He hugged you.

“I’m sorry.” You lifted his chin.

“It’s all right. What do you think if we have a private party here and now?” He widened his eyes.

“After I fix these wounds.

Do you think the others would mind?” “Are you sure?” “I am.” You said watching him with all your love.

He wasn’t perfect, he made mistakes, sometimes he fucked up, but you loved him also for this.

“Poor Sharise, she knew us from a few hours and she saw a fight.”

Tommy giggled.

“We are Mötley Crüe after all.”

You laughed and kissed him.

You were about to get the first aid kit when someone knocked. It was Nikki.

“Sorry guys for being such a bitch for all this time.” He seemed really sorry.

“Let’s talk about this another time.” Tommy was still angry and Nikki nodded and left you alone.

You caressed him and kissed him.

Your real party was about to start.

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xelinielx · 5 years

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Wednesday - A JadeRoxy pirate AU one shot

This story is for my friend @tentiginouslogophile (Jade) whose birthday is today!! I failed at drawing pictures to this so you’ll have to settle for a short story heheh. It’s a bit messy because it’s hard for me to find motivation right now, though I really wanted to give you something today. I hope you’ll like it anyway. Happy birthday again! I love you!! I will probably rewrite this when I get my motivation back so it will be as great as you are 💕

Warning: contains a lot of fluff, the striders being dumbasses and implied smut.

Out of all the pirate ships sailing the Sburban sea, two stood out and were renowned as led by the scariest captains by all who saw them - but their crew wouldn’t agree.

Pirate captain Roxy Lalonde on the Mutie was actually one of the most absent-minded people on the planet. If they were born in the 21st century, her crew would have likened her with the pirate captain Jack Sparrow from the pirate movies, and Roxy would find that absolutely hilarious.

She was a good captain though, despite not always acting like one. In battle, she was a scary blur of swordstrokes, and she had gotten the nickname The Cat from her enemies. They all saw her as a terrifying force of nature, but her crew, who had more than once seen her throw up over the edge of the ship and fail to pet their aggressive ship’s cat, didn’t agree in the slightest. There was only one pirate brave enough to fight her.

Captain Jade Harley.

They had been fighting for as long as they could remember, always chasing each other and trying to beat the other. Today was the day they would clash again.

Jade Harley was seen as eccentric by her crew. She was brave, fast and had no hesitation in throwing herself in dangerous situations when needed. Also when not needed. That’s why her crew felt more like babysitters most of the time. “No captain, diving from the top of the mast is not a good idea in this storm.” “Captain, if you try to steer the ship through that gap it will sink.” “JADE FOR FUCKS SAKE DON’T TRY TO SHOOT THE SEAGULL WHILE WEARING A BLINDFOLD!”

Her enemies called her The Witch. She appeared out of practically nowhere with her ship, cannons firing rapidly. In the harbors there were people spreading stories about how she must have contacted Feferi the fabled Sea Witch and sold her soul for power.

The first time Jade heard those stories, she’d laughed so hard that she got the hiccups and couldn’t talk normally for the rest of the day. After that, she of course made sure to scream some long difficult words that sound like a spell to spur the stories even further when she fought the crews who dared oppose her.

Jade kicks the door to her quarters open with a well-aimed strike and steps out onto the deck, striking a grin. “Good morning everyone!” she exclaims and puts her captains hat over her unbrushed mess of black hair.

“‘sup Jade!” Dave calls out from atop some barrels where he’s sprawled out, eyepatches over both eyes. He was supposed to be the lookout but he was usually too lazy to do so. He also never wanted anyone to see his eyes, so he looked rather comical with the eyepatches.

“Is it Wednesday again?” Rose, the first mate asks and rolls up the map she was analyzing. Jade saunters over and smacks her hands on the table with a huge grin.

“It sure is! Let’s go to that island we passed last night. I’m sure they’ll be there.” Rose had long since learnt not to question her captain’s directives. Somehow, she always manages to get them to where they are supposed to go — even if it’s the complete wrong way according to Rose’s very accurate maps.

Sometimes she felt like she wanted to believe the sea witch rumors. “John! Prepare the cannons,” Jade shouts down a hatch, jousting the poor boy from his sleep by scaring him so bad that he crashes into the ground.

“Not Wednesday again,” he mutters and goes off to work the cannons while wrapping a blue napkin around his head.

Jade flops down on the deck and starts to pick apart her gun to clean it. It’s an important day after all, and she can’t have it ruined due to poor gun maintenance. What would grandpa say? The fact that she cleaned the gun yesterday doesn’t matter.

Dave groans as he hears the telltale clang of metal objects hitting the wooden deck and Jade humming.

“Is it fucking Wednesday again? Wasn’t it Wednesday like yesterday?” Jade giggles and throws a dirty rag on Dave and takes out a new one. Dave jerks back and almost falls off the ship.

“Shit man don’t scare me like that.” He slips off the barrels (in the right direction) and takes a seat with his back against them. “Like do you want me to die before we even fight? That is so uncool of you. And you call yourself our captain.”

Jade shuts out Dave’s usual rambling and focuses on her gun. When she’s gone over it three times, she’s satisfied and puts it back together.

“There’s a ship to starboard, Captain,” Rose calls out after a while. Jade gives Dave a disapproving look that he doesn’t see.

“And what a good lookout you are then,” she complains before running up to Rose, who is steering the ship.

She could identify that flag anywhere. “It’s them all right,” she says, face turning serious. From the way people start moving on the other ship, Jade knows that they have seen them too.

I mean not that a huge pirate ship is that easy to hide.

“To your stations!” Jade calls and runs over to the side of the ship, tying a rope with a hook securely to the side. “We’re boarding them!”

It doesn’t take long for the ships to close in on each other. Jade scans her opponents with a stern face. There is the black haired guy who wields two small guns and uses weird words to threaten them. What even does “Tally-ho!” mean? Then, there is their cook who doesn’t really like to fight. She holds a kitchen knife in one hand and looks uneasy. She will be easy to take down.

There is the blonde guy who wields an odd sword and looks even dumber than Dave. They seem to have the same mindset about letting people see their eyes- and seeing, apparently. The only difference is that this guy’s eyepatches are cut into triangles. How does that even work?

And then, staring straight at her, a sword and pistol in each hand, blonde hair flying in the wind is no one else but the ship’s captain and Jade’s nemesis.

“Roxy,” she says, and the grip on her gun tightens.

Roxy’s painted lips curl into a smile, and the sun reflects off the small black cat she has dangling from an ear. “Hi there Jadie.” She places the back of a hand against her hip and blows a lock of hair away from her face.

Jade takes a moment to take note of the sleek, fancy pink coat with golden buttons adorning Roxy’s body, the headband she has tied around her head and the white tights ending in knee-high boots.

She can feel Roxy’s eyes scanning her, seeing the loose white shirt, her large captains hat and green pieces of fabric tied around her waist into a loose, comfortable skirt.

Jade can almost feel Dave roll his eyes. “Prepare to be boarded!” Jade suddenly shouts, knocking everyone out of their staring contests. She throws the rope over to the other ship and runs over on the taut line without even swaying. Her crewmates (except for John, who runs down the hatch to the cannons) grab ropes and throw them onto Mutie’s mast, swinging themselves over. They are not going to run over a rope. In just a few moments, swords are clanging and shots are fired.

Dave and Dirk engage in a fierce battle in the front of the ship. Their swords clash together with skill and precision — the fact that neither of them can see doesn’t seem to matter. They attack and block quickly, engaging in a dangerous dance.

On the opposite side of the ship, Rose is using her sword to strike Jake’s pistols rapidly, trying to keep him from shooting. She uses the ship to her advantage, swinging her sword to urge Jake into a more vulnerable position. Jane seems to have disappeared down into the ship again. That’s just as well.

In the middle of the ship, Jade and Roxy cross blades. They whirl around each other, anticipating each other’s moves. Roxy makes a jab with her sword, and Jade slaps it away with the front of her gun, twisting around to pound the back of it into Roxy’s stomach and make her loose her footing for a moment.

But only for a moment. Roxy charges immediately, knocking Jade against the edge of the ship with her shoulder. Jade kicks Roxy’s legs before she can regain her balance, but Roxy slips her gun behind Jade’s back, knocking her to the ground with her.

They tumble around for a moment, Jade knocks the gun from Roxy’s hand with a slap from the flat side of her blade as she struggles to get out on top.

Roxy fights back and straddles Jade, holding her sword at her throat. She feels some metal touch her chin, and her eyes dart down to see Jade smirking with the nozzle of her gun aimed at her. They make eye contact for a second, then two.

Unanimously, they drop their weapons, and Roxy leans down to kiss Jade as Jade leans up to meet her lips. Jade’s hands land on Roxy’s waist, and Roxy places her hands on either side of Jade’s face, gently brushing her hair out of the way.

The rest of the world fades away as the two of them relish in the feeling of each other. The closeness of their bodies, the beating of their hearts, and the taste of the each other’s lips.

Roxy knocks the stupid hat off Jade’s head, grinning against her lips. Jade retaliates by slipping her hands under Roxy’s coat, feeling the soft skin of her stomach.

“Hell no, I’m not watching this.” The two of them part to look at the intruder. Dirk is staring straight up into the sky, triangular eyepatches still over his eyes. Roxy snorts and gives Jade another peck on the lips.

They slip into Roxy’s quarters and shut the door as their crewmates sit down together at the back of the ship. Jane comes up to join them with a few bottles of rum, and John shows up too after a while.

“You’re getting better,” Rose tells Jake after taking a swig of the rum. “Just a few more years and you might beat me.” Dave snorts and almost chokes on the drink.

They chat and joke together until the sun sets. There are several empty bottles of rum between them, and at some point, Jane went away to get them some food to snack on as well.

They hear the giggling before they see Roxy and Jade slip out of the hut. Roxy’s coat is buttoned in the wrong holes, and Jade’s hair is even more of a mess than earlier.

“Clean up after yourselves,” Jane groans and rests her head against the floor, knowing that no one will listen.

Jade and Roxy hold hands, smiling warmly at each other. Jade leans forward to place another kiss on Roxy’s lips. “Same time next Wednesday?” she asks. Roxy can see the sun set in her green eyes.

She places Jade’s hat back on her mess of black hair and kisses her nose with a giggle. “Next Wednesday.”

With those words, Jade’s crew returns to their own ship and Rose sets the course for wherever she likes, as she does every Wednesday.

As the ships part in different directions underneath the night sky, two captains stand at the far back of their ships, staring longingly at each other across the sea that mirrors the stars in the sky until the other ship disappears from view, waiting for the next Wednesday.

#happy birthday jade!#homestuck #jaderoxy #roxy lalonde #jade harley #dave strider #dirk strider #john egbert #jane crocker #jake english #rose lalonde #piratestuck #homestuck pirate au #pirate au #ill rewrite this when my mind doesnt want me to stab myself dhkshdkdf

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kfawkes · 7 years

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Misdirection - [Eggsy Unwin x Reader]

[HI GUYS!!!! This isn’t a prompt, this is just something I had on my mind??? And I figured it was a good warmup/getting back into the grove of things thing…. Its gonna end up being a more than 1 parter obviously ;.; but I hope you enjoy it <3 Very angsty though!!! And this one is is PoV of Eggsy! <3 anyway LOVE YOU!!!

Pairing: Eggsy x Reader – Roxy is a main in this fic too :)

Words: 1.8k

Warnings: Angst! Swearing. Sexy bits sorta?

–Read on Ao3!]

“Everythin’ alright in there, Rox?” Eggsy called curiously as he stepped into the hallway. His tired eyes scanning each surface and frame he passed carefully as if the place was just one giant trap.

For all he knew it could be— but even in his sleep deprived paranoia he knew the chances of that were slim to none. Eggsy strolled leisurely down the hall eyeing plaque awards and framed magazine covers; all involving a man named Derek Kennedy. A very influential businessman— but more specifically he was your unit’s target.

Derek was a bloody genius, far too handsome— yet somehow not overly cocky, with ties to the royal family. Kingsman had been assigned to handle him and keep him safe. Essentially Mr. Kennedy was an asset the agency couldn’t afford to lose, but they also couldn’t exactly tell him he was in danger. Mainly because they didn’t know who the danger was… or when it was coming… or why. Or at least that’s what Arthur told you three just about six months ago.

The bottom line was you basically knew nothing aside from the mission being one of those ‘save the world’ kinds. Eggsy couldn’t think too long on that bit though because suddenly Roxy stepped forward blocking his entrance to the office sporting a deep frown.

“Uh, everything’s good— fine… just peachy.” she pushed a smile across her face, but Eggsy had spent enough time alongside her to know better and even though her voice was soft and quiet it rung loudly with hesitation on every syllable.

“‘Peachy’?” Eggsy brows lifted suspiciously and his lips pushed tightly together.

“What? I can’t say peachy now?” she crossed her arm trying for casual, her smile only slightly more convincing.

“You think I don know by now that you only say that shit when you’re lyin’?” Eggsy danced in place; trying to push past Roxy’s impenetrable wall of a body.

“I do not!” Roxy scoffed looking to the side briefly wondering if in fact she did… but even in her momentary distraction she didn’t budge.

“Uh…” he paused letting an awkward laugh slip, finally feeling the true weight pressing down on him. “’s’cuse me, Rox, but I gotta get in there, yeah?”

“You really don’t.” Roxy narrowed her eyes almost apologetically as she stare him down, selecting her next words more carefully than the last. “Will you just trust me on this?”

Eggsy could feel his pulse rising and his cheeks growing warmer with each second, and he knew that if Roxy was keeping him from something— it would be something he needed keeping from… But even knowing that he felt an itch begin scratching; begging for him to just run his fingers over it; to satisfy the sting that ran beneath his skin…

“Cut the shit— we ain’t got time for your games right now, do we?” and when Eggsy spoke it was clear he was nervous. His tone came off far ruder than intended and immediately he wished he hadn’t been so stern with her. It wasn’t Roxy’s fault after all, but after the day he’d had it was hard for him not to lash out.

Roxy pulled her gaze from her feet locking her eyes tightly to his; having not missed his bark and no longer fearing his bite… this time the look she held was near indifference. As if whatever was coming next he deserved. “Fine… but don’t say I didn’t try warning you.”

Eggsy didn’t move at first, he merely widened his eyes as shock replaced his drained expression. He tossed Roxy a look that said he was sorry, and for a moment he thought she understood. For a moment he almost turned around and left like her eyes pleaded him to do… But ultimately his curiosity got the best of him, like it always did.

What’s that old expression… curiosity killed the cat? He never could remember the last part…

He sighed shaking his head lightly with jaw clenched and hands pulled into tight fists as he stepped past Roxy into the office. When he reached the desk he didn’t look at the monitor but to Roxy again… to her eyes which shifted once more from indifference to something closer to sorrow.

She was standing with her arms still tightly crossed and leaned deeply into the frame of the doorway. She was fiddling anxiously with the fabric at her elbow and Eggsy was having a hard time pulling his gaze from her… but once again curiosity began its creeping itch and before he could think too hard on what that look meant he began shifting his gaze downward.

Eggsy drew in a deep breath as his eyes ended on the monitor— ready for anything… only once he saw what he so desperately needed shielding from, he realized nothing could have prepared him for this; and just like any bite once you touched it, the persistent burning became relentless, begging for more and more— the thirst never being quenched… leaving your skin reddened and raw and your mind unrested.

There you were in the center of the screen… The long silky gown you wore earlier was tossed to the side effortlessly. Your hair was spread across a pillow like a wave, with arms and legs wrapped fervidly around your target… Pressing into him, sliding your fingers through his hair and up his back amorously.

Eggsy couldn’t hear any sounds from the room, but he could see them decorating your face as you pulled the mans hair tighter between your fist…

“I tr— I told you not to, Eggsy. Sh— Tristan is just doing her job.” Roxy looked almost just as hurt as he clearly felt and she stepped closer pulling her lip between her teeth sharply, wanting nothing more than to have stopped him.

Maybe she could have had she tried a little harder. Had she just told him no— not given in to his harmless lashing out. But that didn’t matter anymore because the damage had been done, and now she had to see this through.

If anyone knew just how much you two meant to each other, or how strong your bond was both on and off the field, it was Roxy. And believe that if it could have been her in there instead of you— she’d have done it in a heartbeat. But Derek Kennedy didn’t fall for her— he fell for you… so here you were in the middle of his bed while the man you loved watched…

And really Eggsy knew he shouldn’t be… He knew he should look away, that he should get back to work— but he couldn’t stop himself. His eyes were transfixed on you and that son of a bitch, and no matter how hard he wanted to he couldn’t fucking look away.

It bothered him, filled him with a sharp bubbling envy… but mostly it pained him more than anything else before; both physical and mental. Eggsy clenched his hands so tightly the skin broke beneath his nails, but he could hardly feel the pain that accompanied the small crescent shaped cuts. He could however feel the warm blood trickling between the cracks of his fingers, drip, drip, dripping; promising to stain the fibers of the carpet like the screen stained his mind.

In that moment it didn’t matter that this was the plan all along… It didn’t matter that sometimes sex was a part of your missions as Kingsmen agents. None of it seemed to matter, and suddenly he felt nothing.

Eggsy reminded himself that this was one of those missions. That one of you were to seduce the target and gain access to his private life. More accurately become a part of that private life; and here you were having done your job perfectly— but the pang of your success only poisoned his mind like oil in water.

He felt those thick, inky veins taking root as they spread between the cracks, and with each sharp thump of his heart that darkness grew; pulling him deeper into madness…

Eggsy couldn’t focus on how much time had passed or on how hard he was breathing. He couldn’t feel the way his chest rose and dropped, but once he felt Roxy shaking his arm he came back to the room— back to reality and you were no longer pinned beneath another man.

While his mind rushed a thousand miles a minute he hadn’t even noticed if you’d actually… If you really had been… With the way you were laying next to Derek now, he knew you must have. The lightness of your face, and the way your fingertips stroked his hair affectionately screamed one thing and one thing only; and as Eggsy continued staring at that screen he realized something else.

That Derek was completely in love with you. If Eggsy didn’t know any better he’d of thought you really loved him back— hell, maybe you did… half a year undercover could do that to someone, couldn’t it? Plus, this was you he was talking about… Unstoppable force of fuckin’ nature and Eggsy knew first hand just how incredible you were, and even though you were wrapped in the arms of someone else, you were so damn beautiful to him.

You looked so happy that he couldn’t be upset with you even if his feelings were justified.

You weren’t his— not really. Not in the actual sense of being someone else’s… You weren’t his and you never would be, all thanks to one big lie hidden between several tiny truths.

He’d told you it would never work because of the nature of your jobs. That he’d tried relationships and that they didn’t mix with Kingsman. That you were his best friend and that mattered more than anything else.

And all of that was true, because your positions didn’t really allow for relationships and when he tried one with Tilde it backfired in his face… But the biggest lie he’d ever told was that he didn’t love you when you asked him.

In truth there wasn’t much Eggsy loved besides you, but in his mind telling you he didn’t was the best way to protect you though— the only real way to protect you…

Nothing could have prepared him for when you believed him though. For the way it felt when your eyes changed before him. No, nothing could have prepared him for when he saw the exact second your heart broke into a thousand pieces, and in that moment he hated himself.

He hated himself, but he knew it was all to keep you safe. That it would be worth it in the end…

Only now as he watch Derek wrap his arms around you; pulling you into a tight embrace, all he could feel was regret.

“A-are you alright, Eggsy?” Roxy asked softly from his side as she raised her hand to his elbow; squeezing it lightly offering any form of support she could.

Eggsy cleared his throat pulling his mouth into a weak, unconvincing smile with azure eyes painted painfully. After a nod he shoved his bloodied hand into his pocket, and pressed towards the door, throwing his reply over his shoulder like it was nothing at all.

“Jus peachy, Rox… Jus fuckin’ peachy.”

#Eggsy x reader #Eggsy Imagine #Eggsy unwin x Reader #kingsman fic #Eggsy Unwin #Kingsman #Roxy #this aint a prompt but I hope you like my angsty feels lmao #I like the angst I'm sorry ;.;#writing #eggsystential crisis

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clonerightsagenda · 7 years

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We were joking about this again last night and I didn’t want to work on research was bored so here’s a relatively unpolished thing of the Game Over kids coming up with a (in hindsight) blindingly obvious solution to their problem. I remain stupefied by this apparent oversight.

Starring Nepeta, because she’s earned it.

After what you've been through, the silence of the dream bubbles is comforting. You sit still and hug your knees. It's nice to be just you, in your own skin, with nothing else in the way.

"I'm going to be sick," says the human you were imprisoned with, and he is. Nothing comes up.

You can't blame him. It had been suffocating, and he'd been throwing a fit for most of it. You'd kept quiet, but not because you didn't care. You didn't see the point of screaming when it didn't help. Instead you waited, watched, and at the right moment finally struggled just hard enough that the entity that you'd become hesitated as the Furthest Ring cracked apart and the growing void sucked you in. At least your ghosts woke up here, instead of being trapped in the singularity forever.

Wherever you are now, the black hole hasn't eaten it. The darkness is still illuminated by glittering cracks, but the surface beneath you is whole. There's no sign of Lord English, or the army. Is anyone nearby?

You didn't need to learn much about Heart during your session. Your existing combat skills were enough. Once you'd been out here for a while, you started to think it was about souls. About who people are, deep down. Maybe that's why you can handle a place where you're stripped down to your Self with a thousand others vying for the title. Maybe that's why you're recovering faster from being crushed beneath some other consciousness and buried under an aggregate of other lives. You know who you are. You're the Rogue of Heart, and here, you are useful.

There's a cluster of bright sparks in your inner vision. Souls, glowing with the dim luminescence of the dreaming dead. Part of you would love some solitude, but you also want to interact with people as yourself, to hear people call you by your name. It'll help you settle more firmly back into your skin.

"I feel some spirits not far away," you say. "I think they're friends." Dave doesn't look at you at first. Maybe you should just leave, but you feel some level of loyalty after what you've been through. "Want to come?"

It takes him a few tries to stand, but he does.

You see Karkat and Kanaya with a cluster of the humans. You shouldn't know all their names, but the entity that possessed you rifled through the memories of all Nepetas everywhen, picking whatever scraps it felt like plastering onto itself in an off-key impression. The remnants had been left scattered through your thinkpan, and so you vaguely remember being a sprite in their session. Terezi is there too, sitting next to Vriska. They're leaning into each other's shoulders. Equius isn’t there. He must still be mixed with that AI who does most of the talking. You don’t see Gamzee either, for which you are grateful.

When you approach, Jade grabs Dave by the shirt and starts asking questions about her brother that you know from your time together he can't answer. Kanaya approaches you a little more slowly. "Nepeta," she says. "It's good to see you again. I wish we were meeting under better circumstances."

"Yeah." You tuck a strand of hair behind your ears, a nervous habit you fall back on sometimes during conversation. It’s been a while since you’ve seen these people. They’re older than you now. "It's not so bad for me, but I thought you guys might win. I'm sorry you didn’t."

"Have you seen Rose out there?" she asks.

You remember Rose, the human who'd been nice enough to let you talk to her cat-lusus. It would've been hard to miss her, considering her brother screaming "That's my sister, leave her alone, don't touch her" what felt like right into your auditory sponge. "She was like us," you say. "Made into a sprite, and then prototyped too many times. So... she's still alive. Sort of.”

"She's trapped," says Dave, smoothing out the front of his shirt. He looks relieved to be able to change the subject. "And she must be pissed as hell. It's like some Lovecraftian nightmare with a sugar high sets up shop in your brain to make a mockery of everything you hold dear. Thank god none of you saw us, I'd never live it down. Figuratively."

"Then we have to get her out," Kanaya says firmly.

"Hey, I'd be right behind you," Dirk says. The others have drifted over to listen in. It’s not like there’s much else to do – this part of the bubbles doesn’t have much in the way of scenery. "I could yank her soul out and everything; that's a thing I can do. Problem is, our mobility is limited due to us all being fucking dead."

Jake scratches his head. "Ghosts can come back. That Aranea did."

"The ring," Vriska says, looking up from whatever quiet communion she and Terezi had been locked in. "She stole the ring of life from John somehow."

"That piece of shit?" Dave exchanges a look with Jade. "Did you know about that?"

"I didn't know it was magic," she says. "I just thought it was something he'd found somewhere. He didn't like to talk about it." She frowns. "He didn't talk to me a lot that last year."

"Well, there's only one of those," Karkat snaps. "So that's not very useful, unless we want to elect an ambassador to the world of the living or draw up a schedule."

"Roxy might be able to make more..." Jade says slowly. "Where is she, anyway?"

You shrug. You would have looked for her, you like Roxy, but you didn't see much of the new session, and you don't have many memories of what went wrong in the old one.

"She's alive," Terezi says. "Her and John. I saw them before I died. They were going to fix things."

The other Dave, the one that traveled on the meteor, looks around at the shattered dreamscape, the crowd of ghosts. "Not to criticize, but things don't look fixed."

"They're setting things right in a new timeline," she explains. "We're stuck here as rejects from the old one."

"A new timeline," Kanaya repeats. "Going how far back?"

"Our problems really kicked in as soon as your crew arrived," Jake says. "Although I suppose we could have dealt with things if only that troll hadn't gotten her mitts on the ring. That's the crucial moment that truly sealed our fates. As long as you stop that, I’m sure we could manage."

Terezi shakes her head. "Think further. I told them to save Vriska."

Even Vriska looks confused by that. Karkat is the first to speak. "You undid whole sweeps of our lives? Why the fuck would you do that?"

Terezi spreads her hands out. "Look, maybe it wasn't the most rational decision in hindsight, but it's not like you've never made calls based on some sort of emotional impulse."

"And look how that turned out." He shakes his head. "We should've talked to you about that guilt complex earlier so you didn't change the entire universe just to try to deal with it."

"Yeah," meteor-Dave deadpans. "If you'd sat backwards on a chair earlier this could've all been avoided."

"Shut the fuck up," he says without real rancor. "Well, good luck to those poor bastards."

"I'm right here," Vriska says.

"I notice you haven't actually disagreed."

"No.” She shakes her head, and her long braids – unraveling at the end – shudder. “I met the new me. She's a bitch."

"Good. We're all on the same page here. I'm almost glad I'm dead."

"You know..." you say.

Terezi glances at you and then away again to continue their squabble. They've never taken you seriously because you were the silly shy girl, who spent her time having fun and playing games while the others made important decisions. But you have memories of time spent with a Life player, and you'd know that color scheme anywhere. "You know," you say again, louder. "I don't think you need a ring to come back to life."

"What do you mean?" That's Dirk. He might not know you well, but he looks desperate enough to look anywhere for input.

"Well...." You shrug. "You've got a Life player right there."

The Life player in question stares at you for a moment and then down at the symbol on her chest, like she’s checking to make sure it’s still there. "You mean...?"

"That can't work, can it?" Jake asks. "It would be too easy."

"Feferi helped us once," Karkat says. "A dead one from a doomed timeline. Her powers still worked. I don't know why I didn't remember sooner."

Jane looks down at her hands. "With a body, I know I could do it. But with a ghost... I don’t know. I guess I could try."

"Just a moment," Kanaya interrupts. "I wasn't convinced by your threats earlier that Life abilities could harm the undead, but if that principle does hold, you might hurt us instead of helping."

"I volunteer," Dirk says immediately.

Jane sighs. "Dirk, really."

"I'm serious. I glitched myself into fucking pixels and I'm still here. I'm indestructible. Do your worst."

"Well in that case…” It takes Jane a moment to catch up with herself. “Wait. You did what? Are you saying the way you got here... you did it to yourself?"

Before Dirk can respond, Terezi interjects. "Save that for later. As the Seer here, I say you give it your best shot. It's a good idea."

"We're not through talking about this," Jane growls. Then she points a blue-laced hand at Dirk and gives it her best shot.

"Well?" Kanaya asks after a moment. "Did it work?"

Dirk looks himself up and down. "I don't feel any different."

"We can't see through your shades, Strider," Jake says.

Dirk hesitates (whether out of reluctance or for theatrical effect you’re not sure) and then pushes the pointy glasses on his face up. You get a good look, as does everybody else. Orange. Humans have such strange eye colors.

"It worked," Jane breathes. “Isn't that something. Gather round, everyone. I'll fix us right up." She turns, looks at Karkat, and then her face changes. "Oh. Oh no."

"What?" Jade follows her gaze and then puts a hand to her mouth. "Ohhhh."

"What?" Karkat's voice rises. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I can only do this once," Jane says. "Once per person. And I've already done you."

"What are you talking about?" Terezi asks. "Karkat, are you telling me you got yourself killed that quickly? And I missed it?"

"Don't blame me!" He points at Jane, who takes a step back. "Blame her. Jade too, it was her idea. Crocker here was just the willing hand with the fork.”

"The two of them decided to demonstrate Jane's abilities," Kanaya explains. "They were following the Empress's orders at the time."

"That's right," Jade says quickly. "I was bad then. And." She bites her lip. "And I was angry."

"So we can't hold that against them, right?" Jake says, with a smile that looks unnaturally stiff. "Let bygones be bygones, right Jane? After all, I've already forgotten that little interaction in the jail cell. In fact, forget I mentioned it!"

"What did Jane do?" Dirk asks. Jane groans and covers her eyes. "What the hell are you all talking about?"

"That's what I want to know," meteor-Dave adds. "Jade, you killed someone because "you were mad"? What the fuck happened to you in the last three years?"

"What happened to you, defending the aliens?" Dave snaps back. "Since when are they really on our side? No offense," he adds, glancing over at you. "You seem ok, I guess."

You roll your eyes. "I appreciate it, human scum."

Meteor-Dave has ignored this aside. "I know you were off bleeding instead of being useful during our game, but they are on our side, you outdated fucking museum specimen."

"The tiara top," you hear Jane saying to no one in particular. "I was going to apologize and explain, we just didn't have time-"

"Will all of you shut up?" Karkat demands. "I'm a little more preoccupied with the pressing matter of my mortality than whatever hangups you've got with each other. You can all pile into the confession booth later if that'll make you happy."

"But Karkat," Terezi says, "it's like watching one of your memos in real life."

"Will you ever let the memos go?"

"Like I said," Vriska interrupts, "there's the ring."

You took a step back when she spoke - your last memories of her aren't great. But this one seems milder, though maybe that's the dreambubbles nipping at the edges of her soul, like they do to everyone eventually.

"That's right," Terezi says. "The ring. The Empress killed Aranea, I saw that much. So it might be up for grabs again. It likes to vanish and reappear."

"But where?" Dirk asks. "Do you think it would be near her ghost?"

Jake balls his hands up. "Are you saying we could go beat up that spider troll's ghost? Because I am ALL for a rematch. Don't bring me back yet, Jane. That way if she tries to kill me again she won't be able to."

"I could find her, maybe," Terezi says. "This place is made of memories, so if I follow her mind... With the ring so smashed up, there aren’t that many places to hide."

"How do we tell she's the right one?" Jade asks. She’s latched onto this new subject eagerly, probably to escape the last one. "We can't just jump on every version of this troll, can we?"

"I can tell," you say. You have a knack for that out here. You can strike up a conversation with one Tavros and later pick him out of a crowd of twenty, even if his outfit is different. Once you know a little bit about how the person has changed, they don't wear their face the same. This Aranea - what she did will show.

“Sounds like a plan,” Dirk says. “I like it."

"You'll have to sit this one out," Jane says. "You're mortal again, and I can only save you once. Perils of being the guinea pig, I'm afraid. And I am officially team leader. I think it's time I actually lived up to that. Metaphorically, if I must."

He scowls but doesn't argue.

Jade turns to Terezi. "You said there's a new timeline, right? Does that mean there’s a new group of all of us?"

"That's right. It's up to that set to win now."

"I doubt they'd like us crashing the party," Dirk says. "God knows I have enough problems fighting myself, and it looks like that's a family trait."

"Can't do it no matter what," says Dave. "The Furthest Ring is neutral territory, but once we're in the same Skaia-supervised universe, doomed double rules apply. We'll get picked off."

"Great, more complications." Karkat throws up his hands. "Then where do we go, even if we do come back?"

"It's a big multiverse," Kanaya says. "There must be somewhere."

"There must be somewhere," Jake agrees. "I'm not going to sit here in the dark for eternity because some troll got a bee in her bonnet about how our story was supposed to go. I was never that concerned about winning the game on its terms anyway, as long as we made it out ok. I don't even know what the victory state is supposed to be."

"Then it's agreed," Jane says. "We find Aranea, get that ring, I bring us all back, and we go somewhere. Somewhere better."

"And we find Rose," Kanaya adds.

"Definitely," says meteor-Dave. "We can call up John and Rose's mom too, see if they want to hang out with us losers or stick with the winning team. Maybe we can get shared custody."

“If we see other people…” You almost trail off, but they’re looking at you, so you complete the thought. “Maybe we should let them come too, if they want. It seems fair.”

Jane nods. “I’m willing to try. The one time rule might not count for different versions of the same person.”

"Can I come?" Vriska asks. You’re surprised she was polite enough to ask. She really has changed.

Terezi links arms with her. "Wouldn't have it any other way, sister."

"Hold on," Karkat says. "I’m still technically leader of the Alternian band of chucklefucks, which means I get to make that kind of decision. You're not going to try another megalomaniacal plot as soon as our backs are turned, are you? If I recall correctly, you got killed for a reason.”

She juts her chin forward, a bit of her old vigor returning to her voice. "I'm not like that anymore.”

"I guess we can keep an eye on you if you’re lying."

Terezi pinches the bridge of her nose with her free hand. "Karkat, do you think you could be a little bit less of a dick if you really tried?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I'm a little on edge. I've been murdered."

"We've all been murdered," Kanaya says. "Or most of us, at least. Just establishing that for the record."

"And it sucks.”

"I don't blame him for not trusting me," Vriska says quietly, which shuts even Karkat up. You look her over. You don't know what she's been doing since you saw her last, but the person behind the face is different now. It makes you think of a drawing in that smudgy, formless state when you’re still working out the details. On its way to being something, but not there yet, tenuous enough that a stray line would ruin the entire picture. It’s the point where you have to make a decision about what the final product ought to be.

"Well," Terezi says at last. "That's settled, then. We'll get some vengeance, and then we'll figure out what to do next. How's that for a plan?"

"It's actually three quarters of a plan, because some leetspeaking weirdo wrote a four instead of an A, but otherwise it sounds good," says meteor-Dave. She sticks her tongue out at him.

Jane nods and uncaptchalogues an enormous fork. That’s right – she is an heiress, technically, and she handles the official weapon with ease. "It sounds good to me too. Let's go win this game on our terms."

#homestuck//#kat writes fic #bluh bluh huge bitching alert #i guess #AU #also I guess #you can't actually prove this didn't happen

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sombytaco · 7 years

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Homestuck Pool Party Headcanons

John: Canonballs in IMMEDIATELY, he is yelling and he is fucking excited move out of the way this boy is coming through!! Also, because he has a breath aspect I am 413% certain that he can stay underwater for indefinite amounts of time and you can bet your ass he’s going around grabbing people’s feet to freak them out. He and Terezi have a contest to see who can make the most people jump, I will not say who wins I will only say that it is unfortunate for everyone involved. He and Dave are an unstoppable chicken team, they have never lost and will do Whatever It Takes to make sure that remains true.

Dave: Is just chillin, he cares more about keeping his shades dry than swimming around. He will go hard as hell in Marco Polo tho, if you thought he was too cool to jump at the nearest person faster than the speed of light you were wrong buddy he will do what it takes to WIN. Also, when he is the Marco he will (unfairly) target Karkat. This is frustrating. “I’m not even being that loud” Karkat protests for the umpteenth time Dave tags him. “Bullshit” everyone else says, but there’s still a rule that Dave can’t tag Karkat more than five times in a row because really Dave we know you love hearing him yell but Enough Please.

Karkat: Is Bad At Marco Polo. He is so loud. My son. Please. Is very hesitant to get into the water at first bc he’s sensitive to the cold and would rather angrily sweat than deal with the initial shock of getting in. Dave will patiently chill nearby until Karkat is ready, or Dave decides that Karkat is ready in which he will absolutely drag him in. Karkat does not know how to swim so he won’t go past the shallow end, and considering how short he is, uh, that’s not very much of the pool. Dave has to carry him sometimes which he complains about A Lot but secretly kind of likes it whoops. Karkat and Sollux are the shittiest chicken team, Karkat is too afraid of falling in to have any sort of effective strategy and Sollux is like “Karkat just push him” and sort of plows into the other team which just leads to Karkat screeching and nothing gets done.

Roxy: LOVES SWIMMING WITH HER FRIENDS!!! Real people?? That she’s hanging out with?? And you KNOW she’s excited to wear that cute as fuck bikini she alchemized months ago ‘just in case’ ;) ;) ;). After years of knowing Jane and her silly prankster shenanigans, John will absolutely not get the drop on her no sir, he tries to grab her foot she will raise that leg and pull the boy out of the water and give him the Mom Look™. This is war. John will not win. She loves being with Jane and Roxy and her boys!! She is just full of so much love it’s incredible. She deserves this so much.

Calliope: Doesn’t know much about swimming or why humans (and trolls ish) find it so enjoyable, but Roxy is excited so she is too! Interestingly enough, cherubs Do Not Float. Roxy is waving a nervous Callie into the pool and she’s coming down the ladder and once it gets to her chin everyone expects her to do something but no, she makes it to the bottom of the pool and just walks like normal over to where Roxy is. The water level comes up to just below her nose and she has to tilt her head back to speak. “Like this?” She asks excitedly, ‘uh,,, yeah,,,like that’ everyone responds nervously, giving big smiles and thumbs up because they don’t want to disappoint her.

Jade: A master swimmer, she and Jake grew up on an island in the middle of the goddamn pacific my girl knows how to GO. No one realized how fucking ripped Jade was. Jade is ripped as heck. She’s got back and shoulder muscles like an absolute goddess and everyone is like holy shit? Jade? Have you been benching pumpkins all these years? She likes chilling with Jane and Roxy and Calliope because she has been longing for some gals to hang with forever. Not that she doesn’t love Rose, she does, it’s just, they have such differing personalities and anyways it’s kind of hard being around her and Kanaya bc they’re so cute it makes your teeth hurt.

Rose: She and Kanaya have matching floppy sun hats, they love laying out in the sun because Kanaya is a little nervous around water thanks to a certain sea-dweller *cough* eridan *cough*. Rose doesn’t mind, her swimsuits are more for show than swim anyways. She’s got some really cool and intricate goth-y ones and some nice lighthearted pastel ones, an orange and yellow fancy one-piece and a frilly lavender one. Rose has a new appreciation for sunlight but still religiously applies sunscreen because a home girl may be immortal, but fuck if she is gonna deal with any nasty sunburns after defeating the fucking embodiment of evil.

Kanaya: As previously stated, very nervous around water, but so so happy to be in the sun?? It’s not as bright as the one on Alternia which is fine because that means her troll friends can enjoy it too, but she’s literally just so happy to be around people that enjoy the sun the way she does because she’s felt wrong and different about it for years and she finally found someone that understands her ahhshshsjs. She designs all of Rose’s swimsuits and loves seeing her wear them. When it gets dark out, she likes to turn on the glow a little and all these cute little furry wingbeasts will flock to her?? “Those are moths” Rose tells her. “These are my children now” Kanaya pats Rose’s arm, they’re her children too because that’s how human marriage works she’s pretty sure

Dirk: Is so awkward oh my godddd, a little uncomfortable in his body actually? This boy might have muscle but he is all arms and legs and doesn’t know what to do with them because he’s never fuckifnfnfn been around people before. Doesn’t say “Marco” during Marco Polo, he just listens. Breath too loud? You’re tagged. Splash a little? Tagged. Move? Tagged. He’s never Marco for more than two minutes because he’s so in tune with his reflexes that no one even stands a chance. With Jake on his shoulders, they make a decent chicken team, but they’re too worried about each other to be effective. “You okay up there?” He wants to make sure. Someone is tipping Jake over oh no get him off my shoulders is he okay, oh he’s fine, yes I know how the game works Roxy, no Rose why don’t you get in the pool and do a better job before you come for me like that. Rose and Kanaya, in an extremely rare occurrence, do get in for a round of chicken. They beat Dirk and Jake almost immediately. They return to the deck. This never happened and we don’t speak of it.

Jake: Is bad at Marco Polo, he’s an amazing swimmer but he’s not…quiet. After growing up on that island, fighting and swimming, Jake is also Ripped as Heck. Dirk blushes his fucking ass off the first time he sees Jake shirtless. Jake acts all clueless like oh? What’s wrong Dirk? Is something the matter? But he knows exactly what he’s doing and if he’s subtly flexing in front of him, well. That can’t be helped. He may suck during chicken with Dirk, but with Jade on his shoulders? Hoo boy, they give Dave and John a run for their money. He is also John’s favorite to grab the feet of because his reactions are always so over the top with his phrasing. “Horsefeathers!” He grabs at his foot in panic because his first thought is it was one of the monsters from his island, then he sees it was just John who is laughing his ass off because, horse feathers? Really? “I say,” Jake huffs indignantly even though he’s smiling now. “Warn a fellow!”

Jane: Looks rockin’ in her swimsuits because she’s wearing the whole high waisted pinup style ones and?? She’s super gorgeous? Roxy makes sure to tell her that every five seconds just in case she forgets. She and Roxy make a decent chicken team, usually they’re laughing so hard by the end of it that whoever was on top can’t do anything and they fall off because they don’t care about winning they’re just having such a good time. She and Roxy take turns carrying Callie around when the water gets too deep, not that Callie needs to be above the water per se as she seems to have no trouble breathing, but it just makes everyone a little more comfortable and anyways Callie loves it.

Terezi: Killer at Marco Polo for obvious reasons, sometimes she gets tagged on purpose just to show off how quickly she can find people. The only person she’s never been able to get is John, he uses his windy powers to obscure his scent so she can’t “see” him. He is her Marco Polo white whale. One day, John, one day. She and Vriska are terrifying during chicken, Vriska will plow full speed towards the opposing team and Terezi is ready to Throw Hands. The most intense games are between them and John and Dave, both John and Terezi are on top and they fuckin battle it out so hard that Dave and even Vriska start to get nervous on the bottom.

Sollux: Says the water feels slimy. “No shit,” Karkat tells him. “It’s water you fucking shitstain.” Sollux cheats during chicken by using his psiionics to keep Karkat on his shoulders which only makes Karkat mad because he’s terrified of falling in and holy shit Sollux I don’t care what you think your powers are doing I’m gonna fall in fuck fuck fuck. “No I got you” Sollux assures him. He does not. Karkat is not got. Oh well. Sollux mostly likes chilling on inner tubes, plural. He has a blue one and a red one because he’s too tall to fit in just one. “Get a bigger inner tube” Karkat complains. “Perhaps get one of those long, recliner like ones?” Kanaya suggests. No. Sollux will use two inner tubes. He will make the sacrifice of comfort for his aesthetic.

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msilet · 7 years

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Hello, Beloved Husband (2/3)

Summary: Harry and Eggsy finally find Merlin lying in a coma in Thailand. Harry uses his marital status with Merlin to gain visiting right.

Ship: Harry Hart/Merlin

Chapter: 2 / 3

Link to chapter 1: http://msilet.tumblr.com/post/167977795700/hello-beloved-husband

Link to chapter 3: http://msilet.tumblr.com/post/168964840325/hello-beloved-husband-33

Link to AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/12853176/chapters/29435082

Note: I told myself I would just write a small epilogue with the proposal and the wedding. 2500+ words later and I still have no wedding. That will have to be in chapter 3.

Chapter behind the cut

It has been 3 months since they brought Merlin back to the UK. The Kingsman doctors have assured him that Merlin is healing nicely and he should be up and about in the foreseeable future. Whiskey came over last month to examine Merlin and assured Harry that things are going remarkably well.

Another great news is that they located both Lancelot and Percival alive. Roxy had a lot of her bones broken and sustained a few fractures on her skull due to the building collapsing on her panic room but there was nothing their doctors could not mend. Martin was extremely lucky to escape completely unscathed thanks to not being home. He was on a mission and only routed his communication via his house to encrypt it. Martin was the one finding and bringing Roxy in. Eggsy, Harry, Martin and even Roxy in her temporary wheelchair take turn looking over Merlin so that the others can be away to attend to personal and Kingsman business.

Harry would like nothing more than to spend time at the temporary HQ with all the people closest to him but Kingsman has to come first. At the moment he is up in Scotland to oversee the construction of the new Kingsman distillery and below it, the Scottish base. They have decided to decentralize so that all of them can no longer be wiped out at once anymore. The tailor shop is being rebuilt as well as the original HQ, this time with state of the art defense systems. Harry sighs, when it comes to technologies, he would have loved to have the opinion and skills of his wizard. He does hope Merlin will be up soon and help him out because sometimes, all these tech stuff confound him.

Suddenly, Harry's glasses beep. Right after he turns it on he hears Eggsy yelling breathlessly, as if he's running from a stampede, into the mic, "Harry! Harry! Back to HQ! I'm on my way!"

"Eggsy, what's wrong?", he panics slightly, "Are we getting attacked? Is everyone alright?"

"No! No, nothin' like that!", Eggsy sounds like he does not slow down, "Roxy called! Merlin's up! He opened his eyes!"

Harry is speechless for a moment, then he starts running too. "Eggsy, where are you right now? Can you get to him soon?"

"Yeah, Harry, 'm in London, can be there in less than 30 minutes!"

"Good, tell Merlin I'm on my way. I'll find the fastest way possible even if I'll have to fly the helicopter myself!"

"Harry! You only have one eye, if you fly that helicopter I swear to God Merlin's gonna kill you himself!"

"That would require him being able to kill me first!"

"Harry, bruv, I will help him kill you if you fly that helicopter, call the pilot! Now I've got to go, bye!"

3 hours later

Harry walks to the hospital wing, a bloody long walk if you ask him. He can even hear Merlin taunting late again, Sir in his head. All his grand idea of being there when Merlin wakes up not only went up in flames but now he is late for his own husband finally coming back to the living world. Not that he is displeased, he's beyond happy but deep down there's a little pettiness, just a little. He was there the whole day yesterday. As he approaches Merlin's room, he sees Eggsy wheeling Roxy out. Eggsy's face lights up when he sees Harry. "About damn time, Harry. What took you so long?"

"Had to make a detour for something. Am I the last one?"

Eggsy grins mischievously and says "Nah Harry, lucky for you, Percival is still in mainland Europe!"

Harry exhales, "Well thank God for small favours."

Eggsy, and by extent, Roxy, moves closer to Harry. Roxy tells him "Merlin is still awake, come inside and talk to him before he falls asleep again, Arthur." Eggsy nods and continues Roxy's words, "She's right and I figure you've got lots to talk about, yeah? Good luck!" and then off they go.

Harry stands alone in front of the door, wondering why he is so hesitant. The adrenaline level he has been running on is now dropping low and all kinds of irrational doubts float to the forefront of his mind. What if this is a dream and when he pushes that door open he will see Merlin still in a coma or worse, dead? He had nightmares like that before.

"You coward, get a grip on yourself", he mumbles to himself. He takes a deep breath and pushes the door open.

The sight that greets him makes him tear up. It is really his dear Hamish sitting on the bed with pillows propped up behind him. As Merlin sees Harry, he smiles. His smile is slightly tired but genuine and that is definitely the greatest sight Harry has ever seen. "Hello, Galahad.", Merlin greets him with the familiar line. It is their thing; the sentence sounds completely professional to others but holds so much meaning for them.

"Hello, beloved husband. It is Arthur now.", Harry can't help but says as he walks over to Merlin's side as quick as possible, feeling like he is floating on cloud nine.

"Oh, my. Please forgive me, Your Majesty. I would have loved to stand up and greet you properly but…", Merlin gestures to his legs sarcastically.

Harry does not say anything, just silently raises his hands to touch Merlin's face while staring into his eyes. "Hamish…", he manages to choke out, his voice breaking.

"Harry…", Merlin only manages before Harry pulls him into a tight hug. He can feel Harry shaking.

"You're back, you're really back, alive, in my arms.", Harry says between sobs, still clinging onto Merlin.

Despite being in pain, Merlin lifts his bandaged arms up and wraps them around Harry, holding him close. "I'm here, Harry. It seems our time together isn't at an end yet."

"You are damn right it isn't. If I have my way, it won't be over for a long time.", Harry's voice is muffled by Merlin's shirt but audible.

"Yes, Your Majesty.", Merlin chuckles.

After a while, calmed down, Harry realizes that he is still holding onto Merlin tightly, too tightly in fact, that he might be hurting him. He pulls back and asks, "Did I hurt you? Sorry, I was quite overwhelmed." When Merlin shakes his head, Harry lets out a sigh of relief. He sits down on the chair next to the bed and smiles shyly at Merlin. "How do you feel, Hamish?"

"It hurts all over and I still feel pain where my legs used to be but I am happy to be alive and have my mind intact."

"No Kingsman test for you then", Harry grins, his eye watery.

"Fucking hell, no, Harry.", Merlin grins back. Both of them then just sit together in silence for a few moments. Harry uses this time to collect his thoughts and muster up some ideas of what to say next.

"Look, Hamish, there is something very important I need to tell you right now."

"I just woke up from a coma, Harry, can't it wait a few days?"

Harry hesitates but then looks at Merlin, pleading. "I made a promise when I found you in Thailand that I would do this the moment you come back to me. Indulge me, please?"

"Well then, Harry, what is it?", Merlin is fully curious.

"I remember that you love John Denver now, amongst other artists."

Merlin laughs uneasily "Well that's good, Harry, but I don't see why it's so important that you need to say it today."

"Please just let me finish. I am nervous enough as it is."

"Alright, go ahead."

"Hamish, I told Eggsy that when I was shot, loneliness and regret was all I felt, I had no one. That was not true. I did not want to tell the truth because I knew you could hear me. I did not want you to know that while I was filled with regret, it was because of all the things I wanted to say to you and experience with you. I lied about having nobody because I did not want to explain everything to Eggsy and take the focus away from him and Tilde. I was also still slightly confused and did not wish to deal with complicated matters while not operating at full mental capacity. That was a shit decision. When that mine went off, it was the worst moment of my life, much worse than when I thought I was about to die. I had to watch the most important person to me on this earth getting killed without being able to even shed a tear."

"The 6 months that you were missing, I could not go a moment without thinking of you, of what we could have had. You haunted me even in my sleep, saying I failed you. I didn't know how you could do it the 2 years before. Maybe you were better at controlling your emotions, maybe I didn’t mean as much to you as you do to me, I don't know, but I don't care anymore. You are here, now, and it's all that matters."

Taking advantage of a shocked Merlin, Harry pulls out a box from his suit pocket and gets down on one knee, looking up at Merlin. He opens the box, revealing a platinum ring with intricate patterns on the sides.

"I bought this ring before the day we signed our civil partnership document but only now can I do this properly. I love you, Hamish Andrew Ferguson, will you marry me? I mean, for real this time. I promise I would do everything in my power to make sure you are always loved, cherished and happy."

Harry waits for an answer but after a while, none was given. Merlin looks like he has frozen and become a statue. Reluctantly, Harry says, "Well this is the part where you either say yes, try to let me down gently or laugh at my face. This silence is not doing my heart any favour."

Merlin opens his mouth, then closes it, blinks, then open his mouth again but no sound comes out. Seeing Harry nearing a heart attack, he says, "Excuse me, Harry. It's not every day a man wakes up from a 9-month-long coma to a marriage proposal, I need time to process the information."

Harry deflates, all bravado leaving his body. He knows the request is definitely reasonable and he should not be demanding an answer immediately but he'd be lying if he did not dream of Merlin saying yes right away and then they share some sort of true love's kiss and everything would be right as rain, damn hopeless romantic that he is. He tries to smile, "Sure, love. You must be tired, you should rest. I'm sorry for springing it upon you so soon. It just feels wrong, keeping secrets between us any longer, life is too precious for that." Harry stands up and is about to turn around to the door but Merlin reaches a hand out to stop him. "Harry, sit down." Years of conditioning makes Harry obey Merlin's order without thinking. Merlin is looking at Harry now while Harry is staring down at his hands, still holding the box.

"Did you mean it?", Merlin broke the silence.

"Everything.", Harry does not look up.

"I am crippled now, Harry. Look at me, I'm going to be a burden on everyone. Are you really sure about this?"

"Sweetheart, granted, your long legs were so sinful they should have been illegal but they aren't the only reason why I love you. Without them, you are not a burden. Whatever your answer shall be, I will be there to help you through all this, even when you get mad at me, shout at me or tell me to fuck off. I love all of you, just as you are, regardless of circumstances."

"Since when?"

Harry chuckled dryly, "I don't know? I can't pinpoint an exact moment that made me fall in love with you. There were so many moments, across so many years that before I knew it, the only one I could have asked that day was you."

"Th…That day, it wasn't just for professional reasons?"

"No, I was just trying to find any reason to get you to say yes. Figured if I sounded too desperate I'd scared you off.", Harry smiles uneasily.

And then Merlin does something Harry does not expect at all, he giggles. "Oh God", Harry sighs, looking up at Merlin, "you are laughing at me. May I get an explanation as to why?"

"You are an idiot," Merlin signals Harry to let him finish speaking before getting upset, "and so am I."

"What does that even mean?"

"The answer is yes."

"That makes no sense! You just answered yes to a 'what' que...", Harry trails off, and then his eye widens, "Yes?"

Merlin still has a smile on his face. "Yes, I will marry you."

Now it is Harry's turn to be speechless. He just sits and stares at Merlin. "Y...yes.", he repeats.

The giggles are back. "Harry Hart, speechless. What a sight to see. To be quite honest, I expected you to be livelier."

And then Merlin finds himself with an armful of Harry Hart, crashing hard enough onto him that he has the air knocked out of his lungs. "Ouch, that hurts."

Harry is hyperventilating, he babbles, "You said yes. You said yes! Oh my God you said yes"

Merlin pats his back then slowly rubs it. "Would have said yes if you asked me like this then, too. I've been in love with you since our second year together as agent-handler. You were under serious hostile fire and yet still managed to steal that rare Star Wars action figure and brought it back unscathed for me as a souvenir just because you heard me talking about liking the series once in passing. To be absolutely honest with you, I would have said yes right that moment."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"Many reasons, I guess. First, it was not professional. Being a handler and falling for your agent is both cliché and dangerous, not even counting it being bad for the team environment. What if people accuse me of favouring you? What if you don't reciprocate and then it would be awkward and hinder the missions. Not only that, Arthur was an old judgemental prick that would have given us hell if he suspected anything. Second, you are the Harry Hart, you could have had anyone you'd liked. I'm the plain Scottish nerd with shit upbringing and I spend too much time with books and computers. Figured I should have been contented with being friends with benefits. And then you asked me to enter the civil partnership and I jumped at the chance to take what I could get without asking too many questions.”

"We have been idiots, we wasted so much time." Harry sniffles, while his face is still buried against Merlin's shoulder.

"I cried so much the day I came to empty your safe after V-Day. I found the ring, you know, I had so many questions. What did you mean by buying this, why did you not give it to me, was it even for me. I thought I would never have a chance to know anymore. I shut myself off emotionally and carried on. Kingsman, especially Eggsy, needed me. Helping him accomplishing the vision you had for him was a way to keep you in my heart. Sometimes I dream of you proposing to me and us getting married somewhere beautiful in Scotland surrounded by our friends and I let myself indulge a little in that fantasy during the late hours at night before getting back to the missions in the morning. When we found you, you couldn't remember and then you did but not really, I was devastated but if you asked me to let you go, I would have."

"Please don't ever let me go. I won't let you go, Hamish. And it is not a fantasy anymore. I love you, I want to marry you and I'd do anything for you."

"I love you too, Harry", Merlin says, a tear rolling down his face.

"Can I kiss you?"

"Yes, Harry, you can kiss me."

Harry lifts his head up, cups Merlin's face with his hands and leans his face in closer, then Merlin meets him halfway. The kiss was full of love and longing and although no magic happens, Merlin's legs don't get magically healed, Harry is pretty sure it is True Love's Kiss.

Footnote:

Well yeah Hamish is a little easily persuaded but I would probably marry someone who gets me a rare expensive Batman action figure too. I chose the name Martin for Percival because I love Lywinis and bearfeathers stories so much, this is a little tribute.

#kingsman #merlahad #kingsman fanfic #merlahad fanfic #harry hart #merlin #my fic #overshot my estimation #can never laugh at grrm again

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