#i really want to watch some more of alina tho….

[livvyofthelake]

made it halfway through changing my sheets. like i have to finish i obviously can’t sleep here until i put sheets on but. god i don’t want to… this fucking sucks!

[cultleaderyoongi]

With You, All The Way | myg

☆ pairing: Yoongi x f. reader

☆ genre: ex2l, pwp • angst, smut, fluff

☆ word count: 10k (I have no excuse except for I'm frustrated)

☆ warnings: toxic stuff happens, a lot of miscommunication; a lot of making up and making out; some cursing; mentions of alcohol; explicit smut – kinda soft dom!Yoongi, breast/nipple play (he's kinda a boob guy), fingering, eating out, handjob, blowjob, penetrative sex, unprotected sex (reader is on birth control tho which is mentioned), multiple orgasms, simultaneous orgasms, creampie, some praise, some aftercare

☆ synopsis: Break-ups are rough, more so if you and your ex share the same friend circle. How could a simple and supposedly tame night full of fun games change the trajectory of your relationship that is no more?

☆ playlist: Tinashe – Perfect Crime | Alina Baraz – Between Us | Kali Uchis – Moonlight

☆ a/n: Guess who's back after *checking imaginary watch on my wrist* almost a year 💀 Did I whip this out within approximately two weeks? Maybe. This is the fastest I've ever written, so therefore it's sloppily edited – especially towards the end (I'm not a fast writer, ok? I'll come back to edit it soon). Listen, I was super heartbroken about the concert (still am), so my mind conjured up this beast of a delusional, self-indulgent story. Pls think of me when you go see my man live, especially if it's the Newark show tonight 😭

I started off this story with Marie Claire Yoongi in mind, but with the release of D-Day it turned more and more into Haegeum Yoongi, sooo...feel free to imagine whichever version you want. Happy D-Day era to y'all! Lmk what's your favorite track, your favorite look, your favorite whatever. Let's talk and suffer together lol

Enough of my rambling though. I hope you enjoy reading! As always, if you do – thank you and pls lmk what you think ♡

☆ taglist: @main-bangtansmauyeondan @jwlmnbt (I'm really horrible at keeping track of my taglist which is also due to my inconsistent posting, but if you see this and you remember wanting to be on my practically non-existent permanent taglist pls lmk)

© cultleaderyoongi on tumblr | do not repost or translate on any platform

You shouldn't be here.

You really shouldn't.

Whose idea was it to bring everyone together for a night of fun activities and drinks? Whose stupid idea was it to invite you when your least favorite person in the world is going to be present as well? And furthermore, whose stupid idea was it to seat the two of you within clear vision of each other?

"Don't hate the player, hate the game." Your friend Jimin, the host and therefore perpetrator of all this, speaks with a smirk as if to answer your internal monologue, watching your other friend Jungkook pick up eight colorful cards after being hit with two subsequent draw fours.

Laughter goes around the circle as the youngest tries to rearrange the abundance of cards in his hands.

Truth be told, you could've declined. It's not Jimin's fault things went south with you and the man whose glare avoids you as if his life depends on it. Yet you spot glimpses of his feline eyes set on you when he least expects it, catching him off-guard – and suddenly the fluffy, white rug beneath his feet is a lot more interesting to look at.

"Oh Jungkook, you're almost as rich as Taehyung!" Seokjin jokes, drawing your attention back to the group.

Hoseok joins in, accompanied by an animated cackle. "You're giving Taehyung a run for his money."

You muster said boy beside you, his brows furrowed and tongue poking out in focus. He can barely spread out his set of cards without dropping any. Poor Taehyung.

As the game continues and more and more people yell out Uno in relief until a loser is revealed (it's a close and tedious match between Jungkook and Taehyung, but at the end Jungkook pulls through) you pay close attention to the way Yoongi toys with the rings on his fingers. He always does this when he's anxious. His action is incessant, almost obnoxious in your eyes. You don't like being here any less than he does, but at least you try your damn hardest to pull yourself together in front of your friends. They're your friends as well as his. You haven't had the chance to see them as much lately while he gets to see them all the time – they live together, for fuck's sake!

"_____." Jimin's voice pulls you back to reality. "Lend me a hand?"

"Uh yeah, sure." You spring up from your seat, realizing Jimin asks for your help clearing the table.

While he collects the cards strewn across the coffee table, you make move of collecting empty bottles and cans. In your position, you're slightly hunched over the surface which involuntarily causes one thing to happen.

Your suspicion is confirmed when you look up at your ex-boyfriend shamelessly staring at your cleavage. There's a split second where you make direct eye contact once he grasps the situation – and now things are ten times more awkward.

Taking a deep inhale, you place everything on the kitchen island nearby before returning to your seat. You muster Yoongi's stone-cold, almost dead-like expression. To anyone that didn't witness what happened seconds ago, it probably looks like the regular go-to mood for Min Yoongi. But you can catch the tiny movement of teeth nibbling on the inside of his bottom lip. Oh, he's frustrated. You can't quite determine yet if you're proud of this achievement.

Meanwhile, Jimin sets up the next game.

"This doesn't look like a safe game to be around Namjoon-hyung," Jungkook murmurs, inspecting the tower of wooden blocks stacked on top of each other.

"Hey!" Namjoon retorts to the boy, his lips pulled into a slight pout. "I can play Jenga alright. Just you watch."

There are noises of disagreement going around the group, some of the guys sharing anecdotes on things Namjoon has accidentally broken recently.

"There's a little twist, by the way," Jimin informs everyone amidst the commotion. "Each block has an instruction on the bottom. Kinda like truth or dare – but you don't get to choose."

"Oh!" Seokjin claps his hands once in excitement. "Now we're talking."

Of course, leave it to Park Jimin to make an already awkward evening even more awkward by potentially causing ruckus with whatever tasks he gives out to people. Great.

After a match of rock, paper, scissor to determine who starts (which is Namjoon who already almost has the tower topple over by crouching down to the table), the first few turns go by in a breeze. Nothing too out of the ordinary has been requested yet. Taehyung choosing Jimin if he had to pick someone he would date out of the bunch or Jungkook giving Hoseok a lap dance like there's no tomorrow seem like natural occurrences for a Saturday night in this house.

"My turn," you murmur as you bend over until you reach the stack. Carefully, you pick a piece from the lower half, smiling to yourself as it slips out with ease. That smile fades though as soon as it appears when you flip over the block to read out the demand: kiss a person of your choice (on the lips! No less than 10 seconds).

There are multiple Oohs going around the group. Some are of surprised and enthusiastic nature – some stem from a place of concern.

You're rooted in place, your mouth running dry at the idea of... What exactly? There's nothing to be nervous about. Most of the guys (emphasis on most) wouldn't even make such a big deal out of this for your sake. Also, you're not blind. You've got handsome friends for sure. Each and every single one of them. It's the thought of him and the consequences. Whatever that may entail.

"I don't think this is right." Namjoon comes to your rescue, most likely sensing your discomfort.

"Why not?" Taehyung asks in earnest, visibly confused about the elder's remark. "She's a free woman. She's free to do whatever."

"Hyung," Jungkook chimes in, "I know for a fact she's not gonna kiss you. You can stop sucking up to her."

The youngest's savage comment has everyone in a laughing fit – everyone except for Yoongi of course.

Uncertainty takes over your mind, covering it in a thick blanket. It's been three months since the two of you broke up. Are you still hung up on him? Yes. A hundred percent yes. Does the same apply to him? You can't say for sure. He's been eerily quiet the entire evening, almost too quiet for your liking. He could either be hiding his innermost thoughts or he actually doesn't give a single fuck about you anymore.

Once the laughter dies down, the sound of his all too familiar voice has you lifting your eyes from the little troublemaker in your hand.

"He's right," Yoongi points out plainly, referring to Taehyung. "She can do whatever she pleases. I don't care."

As he finishes up with a sip of his whiskey, the room falls silent. Nobody dares so much as even breathe. Everyone exchanges looks between each other ranging from unease to utter shock.

So he really doesn't care.

"Okay." You catch his attention with these two syllables, his eyes never straying from you as you place the wooden piece on top of the tower. Making your way over to his side of the couch, you maintain eye contact throughout. There's a slight twitch noticeable in his eyes, confusion taking over his features. Once in front of him, you bend over before leaning in – only you redirect at the last second, wrapping your arms around Seokjin's neck who's sitting next to him. You give it no second thought, planting your lips onto his in an instant.

Although in tunnel vision, you can still hear the gasps around the room. You didn't think this through, but you have to commit now which is why you slightly intensify the kiss by parting your lips. Your hunched-over position becomes uncomfortable though, causing you to drop down to one knee beside Seokjin's thigh on the cushion.

He welcomes the closer vicinity, holding you by your waist with gentle hands.

Has it been ten seconds yet? You have no idea. You assume Jimin would count down, but he's probably too stupefied like the rest of them. Throwing in the tiniest of tongue action for good measure, you part again rather sooner than later. A clear sheen of lip gloss and saliva covers your friend's plush lips. His ears are flushed almost a hot pink.

Your job here is done.

Clearing your throat, you turn around to no one in particular. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom. You can keep playing without me."

And with that, you brush past Yoongi's frozen form, ignoring the whispers going around the room.

You've been warned about the sink in the downstairs bathroom not working (once again, courtesy of Namjoon), so you swiftly climb up the flight of stairs to the upstairs bathroom.

Closing the door behind you, you let out a loud exhale before you make your way over to the sink. You don't have to use the bathroom. You just need a minute to breathe. Or two. Or five.

You look up at your reflection in the mirror, the telltale sign of the kiss written all over your lips. Had you known this is how things are going to pan out, you would've opted for smudge-proof lipstick. Turning on the faucet, you dab some water onto the pad of your finger to wipe at the corners of your mouth.

What have you done?

A knock on the door startles you.

"What?" you ask, wondering who it is.

"Let me in."

The deep, raspy tone coming from the other side of the door draws an annoyed sigh out of you. "I'm peeing," you answer flatly.

"No, you're not."

Another heavier sigh passes your lips this time. He's the last person you want to see right now, but something tells you to give in still. "What do you want?" you bite as you swing open the door with so much power you almost detach it from its hinges.

Yoongi steps over the threshold, closing it behind him with equal force. The impact causes the door handle to rattle. He watches you wander back over to the sink, irritation marking every inch of his face. "What the fuck was that for?" he spits with so much venom it's far from characteristic of him.

"What do you mean 'what the fuck was that for'?" You turn to face the mirror, inspecting yourself again. "I did what was expected of me."

Coming up behind you, your ex-boyfriend shoots daggers at you through the reflection. "Are you fucking kidding me? That was way more than what was expected of you!"

"What's your fucking problem? You made it clear in front of everyone, including me, you don't care. Besides"–with your blood pumping hot through your veins, you spin around looking him dead in the eye–"you wanted this. You ended this." You point back and forth between the two of you. "So you don't get to complain now."

He stares you down with what you can now decipher as hurt and rage. "Don't talk about our relationship like it was just a thing. For fuck's sake, _____! We were together for almost two years." His growing distress shows as he rushes a hand through his pitch-black hair. "You took equal part in the downfall. You took equal part in the decision."

A small scoff comes to the surface. "Are you actually listening to yourself? You sat me down and told me this wasn't gonna work out – not me. You came up with all the excuses you're too busy and your career doesn't allow a stable life when you know very well I've tried everything in my willpower to make things work."

His features contort more into agony. "That's because you were never satisfied with my solutions. Who says you were the only one trying to make things work? Nothing was ever good enough for you. I know I have a busy lifestyle, but things always have to go according to your plan. You immediately shut down whenever I suggest something that's not part of your vision."

You roll your eyes at him, partially in anger but also in a poor attempt at keeping your tears at bay. He's not entirely wrong, you're aware of that. It wasn't easy with him, but you could be equally as stubborn. At the time, the glass was simply too broken to put back together – no matter how hard any of you tried. Maybe you needed the time apart to see clearer.

"These past three months were hell for me," you confess suddenly, dropping your head in shame.

There's a beat of silence following your words. "For me as well," Yoongi finally answers, his voice coming out barely above a whisper.

"How come we're so bad at this?" It's more of a rhetorical question, but you genuinely wonder how you managed to stay together this long.

Another pause settles in before Yoongi speaks up again. "I don't think we're bad at relationships. There are things we need to work on, sure. But these things don't come overnight." After wetting his lips tentatively, he continues, "We're already making big progress by talking about this – even if we wanted to strangle each other seconds ago. If anything, we needed this in order to finally be honest and not hide behind a façade anymore."

Your mind takes you back to that fateful day when you talked each other through the break-up. Things were convoluted as you convinced each other you didn't see any future in being together just to avoid addressing the truth and finding a common denominator. It seemed easier this way, running away from your problems and saving face in the process.

Now look where it led you – the worst outcome possible.

Catching a stray tear rolling down your cheek, you muster up the courage to look at him again. "What do we do now?"

He lets out a low hum at the sight of you, his hand coming up to carefully wipe another tear close to spilling from the corner of your eye. "I don't know. All I know is I don't like this. The distance, the avoidance – the animosity."

"Yeah." You let his words hang heavy in the room. Hard agree on this one. "Neither do I."

"And I certainly don't like seeing you make out with someone else right in front of my face – let alone Jin-hyung at that."

His comment has you chuckling lightly. "To be fair, I didn't enjoy it as much as you'd think."

"You're joking." He breaks out into his signature gummy smirk. "Worldwide Handsome didn't do it for you?"

You shake your head, a small smile forming on your face. "He's not you."

At that, his grin grows even wider, his eyes turning into downturned crescents.

"I'm sorry, by the way." You play with one of the bracelets around your wrist, tugging at the golden chain.

Yoongi reaches for your arm, most likely out of reflex as he notices your hesitation. "It's okay. I'm sorry, too." Dropping his hand, he elaborates, "I overreacted earlier. You're not... We're not­..."

He struggles to finish his thought, but you know exactly what he's trying to say. "Do you want to be?" you drawl, immediately wincing at how desperate you sound. Maybe it's still too early for this.

Your concern dissipates as his eyes light up in an instant. "Of course," he murmurs. "I've always wanted to."

The corners of your lips tug upwards again at that. "I do, too," you follow up though you're sure he already figured.

What a serious turn of events. Who would've thought things were going to work out this way? You could hug the world right now. Hell, you could hug the entire universe.

"Should we..." he starts, a mischievous glint glossing over his irises, "shake hands on this?"

Bursting into laughter, you shake your head at his ridiculous idea. "That's so formal. We're not business partners."

"Fine then."

Your laughter ceases instantly as he takes a few steps forward, slowly backing you into the marble countertop behind you.

"Should we hug it out instead?"

You watch the way his tongue swipes across his bottom lip as you're caged in between his arms, the closeness sending your mind reeling.

"Or do you have something else in mind?"

Swallowing down hard, your focus switches between his lips and the seductive gaze he holds you with. "A hug would be a start,” you croak out.

He sends you a crooked smile before releasing his grip around the corner of the sink, enveloping you with both arms for a tight bear hug, his cheek coming to a rest on your temple.

You welcome his touch, bending your arms that are stuck underneath his to clasp around his shoulders. An abundance of warmth and comfort washes over you, so you bury your face into the crook of his neck to take it all in. Words can't describe how much you missed this – how much you missed him.

The two of you stay like this for a while until Yoongi breaks the silence. "Just to be clear–"

You lift your head to get a proper look at him.

"–I do care. I always have, and I always will."

All trains of thought leave you as you stare at each other, the sincerity in his eyes granting them with a spark you haven't seen yet before. You swear there's a magnetic force involved, that's how strong the urge is when you slowly close the distance pressing your lips onto his.

Bliss overtakes you instantly, the familiar feeling of his lips bringing back all the memories of the past two years. Things were never easy between you, but you want to make it work this time no matter the cost.

Once you pull apart, all you can do is look at each other, completely at a loss for words. You catch the way Yoongi's focus switches back and forth between your eyes though, trailing down to your lips before coming back up where it ultimately stays.

He loosens one of his arms around you, bringing it up to rest his hand on the side of your neck. With his thumb, he rubs soothing circles into your cheek.

You close your eyes at his touch, unfurling an arm from behind his back to curl around his neck instead. The other follows the curve of his spine before enclosing around his waist.

"God..." Yoongi murmurs, his forehead coming to rest against yours. "I missed you so much."

Blinking your eyelids open, you catch the moment his open just a second later. "I missed you, too."

This time it's he who draws you in for a kiss, his hand gently tilting your head to the side to grant him access.

There's always been something super addictive about Yoongi's kisses. From the tingling sensation that infests your entire body starting at the top of your scalp all the way down to the soles of your feet, to the funny feeling in your core that has you weak in the knees and lose all sense of self – you could never get enough.

You're done for when he parts his mouth slightly, the tip of his tongue slipping through the seam of yours. You let out an involuntary moan, seeking solace as you tighten your grip around the cotton fabric of his shirt.

He steps closer causing you to part your legs to make space for him. With your torso bent backward into a small arch, he starts planting kisses along your jawline down your neck.

At this point, you're like wax in his hands. Of course he's more than familiar with your weak spots.

His hold around your waist wanders down to your thigh as he hooks your leg around his hip, gently hoisting you up on the countertop. In a painstakingly slow fashion, his lips flutter across your collarbone before they land above the cups of your bustier top.

You can feel his hand travel further up your thigh, shyly slipping beneath the denim fabric of your skirt. Before he can go any further, you gently grab him by the wrist.

Flustered, the male lifts his face from your cleavage. "Sorry, did I–"

"No," you interrupt him quickly. You don't want him to get the wrong idea. "Not here."

"What–"

Before he can ask any further questions, you climb off the counter, dragging him out of the bathroom down the dark hallway.

The door closes behind you with a silent click before you switch on the light.

You haven't seen this room since the break-up. It looks about the same, maybe a bit messier than you remember. The bed looks like it's been made in a hurry, there are a few more clothes strewn around than you're used to from your ex-boyfriend. You're unsure of the emotions that overcome you. They're something along the lines of guilt, shame – sadness.

In your daydream, you don't notice Yoongi coming to stand in front of you. "I'm sorry it's kinda messy," he apologizes, scratching the back of his head. "I didn't expect company tonight."

You solemnly shake your head. "It's fine. That's not it."

It's silent for a beat until he speaks up again. "We don't have to do anything if you don't want to."

Again, you shake your head. "I do though."

The man musters you sternly as if to read your mind. Then he cracks a small smile. "Okay. Me too."

One wouldn't be able to tell the two of you were engaged in a semi-heated make-out session just a minute ago with the way you're gradually closing the distance between you. But once your arms are slung around his neck again, the passion from before resurfaces in an instant.

His hold around your waist grows more desperate with each passing second, pulling you further into the room along with him until you reach the foot end of his bed. In between hungry kisses, he plops down onto the mattress with a soft thud.

You're still in a mostly upright position, a little bit hunched over with one knee propped up beside his thigh as you continue kissing him. It's comically similar to the scene from the living room – although this time it's with the right man. The realization has you chuckling against his lips.

"What's so funny?" he asks, breaking out into a smirk of his own.

You playfully nibble on his lower lip. "Nothing," you lie. "Just thought about how strange life is sometimes."

A tiny squeal escapes you as Yoongi suddenly drags you down with him, your arms coming out just right on time to cushion the fall. "Life is strange," he agrees. "But I like where it's leading us right now."

The mischief in his tone doesn't go unnoticed by you, so to wipe that smile off his face you lean down stealing another kiss from him. It starts off relatively tame before you try to rile him up ever so slowly, lowering your body until you're straddling his waist. Your tongues are fighting for dominance, but ultimately you have the upper hand in this as you pull away, watching him from above in all his glory. Or so you thought because the second you lay eyes on his fucked-out expression, his parted lips so plump and shiny and his pitch-black hair splayed out on the white comforter you swear you lose all sense of reality. Ethereal is the word that comes to your mind. He's nothing short of ethereal.

"Ah!"

Yoongi takes advantage of the situation while you're lost in your thoughts, flipping you over on your back. "Enjoying the view?" he jokes, his gummy smirk on full display.

You snort. "Maybe."

His lips are on you again immediately, retracing their path from earlier as he places kiss after kiss over the curvature of your chest. "So am I."

You're reduced to whimpers when he sucks love bites into your skin.

Once he pulls away to admire his work, he informs you with a straight face, "You know, I had a really hard time not staring when we were downstairs."

You bite your lip, patiently waiting for the revelation.

"But then you helped clearing the table, and they were practically in my face, so–"

"You missed my tits," you interject with an amused smile.

He chortles. "You make it sound so crude." Tracing the intricate flower embroidery covering your breasts with his finger, he elaborates, "Obviously, I love looking at all of you. Not just your tits."

The way he repeats the word has you burst into laughter.

"Stop laughing at me." His cheeks rise into full globes before his face falls again. "I'm serious, I missed seeing your face. You look really beautiful tonight."

Whatever bullshit you were about to say – it's gone. The way his words leave his lips with such sincerity and his eyes are set on you as if to imprint every single inch of your face in his brain renders you speechless. All you can do is show him that you missed him just as much – if not even more. Pulling him down to you by the nape of his neck, you press your lips together again, eagerly running your hand through the strands on the back of his head. It's gotten a little bit longer ever since you broke up, and admittedly you find it kind of sexy.

"In all seriousness though"–Yoongi mumbles in between kisses–"as beautiful as you look in this, I want if off now." Toying with the strap of your top, he gently glides it over your shoulder until it loses tension.

You comply with no questions asked, propping yourself up on your elbows. Yoongi catches on right away, reaching behind you to pull down the zipper. It always amused you how contradicting he could be, his patient character cracking when it came to intimacy, his soft-spoken nature turning more daring and demanding.

A low hum resonates from him at the sight of your bare breasts, and it doesn't take long until his attention is on them again, his hand cupping one of them while he bends down to take care of the other.

The sudden contact has you moaning out louder than you'd like. As he changes up the motions on your hardened nipple, it's hard to keep it down now. Throwing your head back, you relish the onslaught of suckles and licks, kisses and bites.

He switches sides, granting your other boob the same treatment while still squeezing the prior.

You're a mess, to say the least, the dampness sodding your panties a sure indicator of that.

As if he's living in your head, Yoongi's hand wanders down the expanse of your torso before stopping right under the hemline of your miniskirt. Tugging at the seam, he grumbles, "Take this off, too, baby."

The audacity to throw in the pet name as well – you've never been quicker at undressing up until this point. Your hands are shaky as you're fiddling with the button though, so Yoongi comes to the rescue, unbuttoning it at the speed of light yet the veins raking across his hands have your undivided attention, prolonging the moment to infinity.

He slides down from the bed to the floor, taking the obstructing clothing with him at the same time.

There's something about you being stripped down to your underwear whereas he's still dressed that sends uncontrollable tingles to your core.

While leaving fluttery pecks across your lower abdomen, the male slips a single digit under the fabric covering your crotch. "We haven't even started yet"–he places another peck closer to your pelvic mound–"but you're already so wet, baby."

A snarky response is on the tip of your tongue, something along the lines of it being a given when he's been playing with your boobs like a man possessed, but you swallow it down when he drags his finger over your folds, dipping the tip into your slit.

Your reaction is immediate, the whimper passing your lips drawing a smile onto his. "God, I can't wait to make you cum," he grunts, and with that his fingers hook around the waistband of your panties, removing the last remaining piece of clothing covering you.

Any sort of thought dissipates from your mind as he throws your thighs over his shoulders and his mouth connects with your center, licking up your arousal like it's a sport.

You're no stranger to the things he's capable of with his tongue, but this is no match to the times before. His moves are calculated yet determined, taking you to the brink of an orgasm in record time. There's no use holding back anymore, your hand covering your mouth doing little to nothing hiding your whines.

In between all the licking and sucking, Yoongi retracts for a split second, a wicked grin gracing his features. "Getting close?"

"Mh-hm," you hum out breathlessly. "Please don't stop."

He doesn't need another plea from you, his movements more eager than before as he continues eating you out.

Weaving your hand through his thick locks, you watch him from above. His eyebrows are furrowed as he focuses on your pleasure, his hands around your thighs digging deep into your flesh. This sight alone could have you cumming on the spot, but it's the switch-up from small kitten licks to suckles on your clit with the perfect amount of pressure that drives you over the edge. "I-I'm cumming, fuck!"

He guides you through your release, letting you grind on his face as he runs his hands over your thighs locked around his head in a tight grip. Once you're done riding it out, he presses one last kiss to your quivering core, smirking at the way you squirm over the sensitivity.

"Fuck," you curse again in disbelief. The room around you appears surreal. You watch the ceiling above you to regain consciousness. He essentially mouth-fucked you into oblivion.

A light kiss to your temple brings you back from wherever your mind was catapulted to. Outer space or another dimension. No one really knows for sure.

"Still with me?" Yoongi checks on you, his thumb rubbing tiny circles into the highpoint of your cheek.

You swallow down hard, willing your eyes to focus on his looking back at you. The deep brown of his irises resembles that of the Iced Americanos that he loves so much although warmer and more welcoming than the caffeinated drink. "Y-yeah," you manage out.

"Good." He bends down to peck your lips. "Thought I'd lost you for a second."

You might as well be lost for the rest of eternity. Your hands seek for harbor, digging into the sleeves of his jacket. "Take this off," you mumble, impatiently tugging at the garment.

"Alright." Yoongi chuckles at your cute antics, taking it off instantly.

You're not satisfied yet though, curling your hands around the hem of his shirt, dragging it upward until a sliver of his abdomen shows. "This, too."

He shushes you, grabbing ahold of your wrists. "Baby, you're getting too excited."

With your lips in a pout you protest, "I'm not. I just wanna take care of you, too."

His laughter resonates in your ears. "You're gonna get to take care of me soon enough." You're still pouting, so he comes up with a peace offering. "Here, how about this?" Guiding his hand back down to your heat, he proposes, "Give me another one, and I'll let you do whatever you want with me for a while."

You're spent already, your first orgasm having drained your entire energy. But you're willing to go again if that means getting what you want. Nodding your head, you lean back onto the bed.

"Good girl."

Holy shit.

It takes all your might not to melt into a puddle right then and there, but his working hand doesn't give you enough time to even process his words, his ringed fingers already drawing circles on your swollen bud. You gasp out silently, leaving an imprint on the mattress with how hard you're throwing your head back.

His digits expertly tickle your clit as if you're a key on his piano or a string on his guitar, experimentally dipping them into your heat for precise pumps. You thank the gods but also simultaneously curse the devil for making this man skilled with both his tongue and his hands.

It's not long until you feel the all too familiar knot in your core tighten again, squeezing your walls around his fingers as you feel the cold metal adorning them.

"That's it, baby," he growls. The pad of his thumb works your nub while his ring and index finger drag in and out of you with fast strokes. "Almost there."

You barely manage out anything intelligible other than Yeah and Don't stop. Sweat forms on your skin from your neck down to your chest, the golden pendant of your necklace clinging to it. So close, so damn close.

His hawk eyes are on you the entire time, intense and sinister. Not a single twitch of your muscles passes them by. If it wasn't for that crooked smile of his you would think he's studying you, analyzing your every move.

It's easy to feel intimidated under his watch, so to lessen your nerves – and finally bring yourself over the edge – you grab him by the collar, pulling him close to you. "Kiss me,” you murmur as if his lips aren't already pressed to yours.

With one last wicked grin, Yoongi gives in to your request, kissing you as if his life depends on it. He knows exactly how to get you going, lets you taste yourself on his tongue while he produces more of your sinful essence.

All you can do is whimper against his mouth until you break apart, another orgasm ripping out of you sooner than you thought that has your thighs clamping shut and your back arching off the mattress. A string of profanities leaves your lips as Yoongi continues massaging your clit through your high. Your sweaty hand clutching at the comforter snatches his wrist, stopping his crazed motions. "F-fuck okay, stop," you manage out, your throat as dry as a desert.

The man has the audacity to send a soft slap to your folds before pressing a quick peck onto your temple. "You did so well." He peers down at you with a gummy smile as he sits up straight, popping his soaked fingers into his mouth. "That was fun."

You're essentially an empty vessel, watching him with your mouth agape while nothing but a numbing, tingling sensation travels along your limbs. This must be the afterlife. Hell or heaven or maybe both.

"Alright." His voice takes you back to the bedroom. "As promised"–he shuffles to the edge of the bed, spreading his legs–"you have all the creative control now."

A tired chuckle escapes you before you scramble yourself up on your elbows, immediately sliding down to the floor in front of where Yoongi sits. You're quick to work on his belt, looping the leather through the holes although the feeling in your fingers hasn't returned yet.

The sound of Yoongi's laughter fills your ears, and you know you must look like a fool with the way you're trying to get him out of his pants before you even took off his shirt. Oh shit, yeah. You totally forgot about his shirt, but you have all the time in the world. For now, your focus is on something entirely else.

He observes you as you pull down his jeans and boxers in one go, lifting his butt from the bed to facilitate the process for you. He sports this cocky sideway smirk that drives you insane, but you manage to wipe it off his face the second your hand wraps around his length. A hiss passes through his teeth once you start stroking him in an up-and-down motion. Throwing his head back, he lets you take full control.  

You add in a twisting motion whenever you reach the tip which clearly affects the man, his breathing becoming shallow and his whines turning into guttural moans. "I've barely done anything," you tease him just as he did earlier. "But you're already so hard."

That smirk returns instantly though weaker this time. "So what? I get hard watching you get off."

"Mh-hm," you hum unimpressed. "So what you're saying is I can do this"–you bend forward to slowly lick a stripe from the base up to the tip, giving the head a light suck–"and it does nothing for your raging hard-on?"

Whatever response is on the tip of his tongue, it disappears as soon as you put your mouth on him again, swallowing half of his length. "Ah, fuck!" His hand shoots up to hold you by the back of your head. The further you take him down your throat, the tighter his grip around your hair becomes. "Baby..."

You wish you could imprint this memory on instant film. The rosiness creeping up on his cheeks and neck compliment his smooth, milky skin so well. A thin sheen of sweat starts forming on his forehead, the strands of his dark bangs clinging to it framing his face like a picture. He's beyond beautiful, especially when he falls apart under the touch of your hand and the wet, warm comfort of your mouth.

Your head bops up and down at an excruciating pace now, his hard-on covered in slick from your saliva. You ignore the stinging ache in your jaw, planning on sucking him dry. He's always been such a sucker for your blowjobs, so you want to put on the best show possible for him.

"Baby," he repeats, his voice quivering. "Please."

Slowing down your movements, you resort to running your tongue across the protruding vein on the side of his length. "Yes?"

His hands wander down to your arms. "Come here."

"Hm?" You give him one final hard suck before pulling off him with a loud pop. Still kneeling in front of the man, you feign ignorance.

Impatiently, he pulls you up to your feet. "Stop playing."

You practically fall into his arms, straddling him in the process. His hands immediately find their way to your ass, grabbing a handful causing you to gasp. "What now?" you ask innocently, covering him with your slick as you grind down on him.

Drawing you in for a heated kiss, he drags your pelvis down onto his even harder. "Hands and knees, baby," the man orders with a sharp slap to your ass.

You don't waste another second, complying as you crawl off his lap. Getting into position with your butt high up in the air, you can hear his feet shuffle across the hardwood floor. He reappears in your vision shortly after, rummaging through the drawers of the bedside table.

"Shit," he curses harshly. "I thought I had some in here."

No further explanation is needed to understand what he's referring to. Sitting up on your heels, you watch Yoongi run a hand through his hair in distress.

"Can you check the other side?" he suggests, his eyes set on you.

"Sure." Leaning over the edge of the bed, you sift through the drawers though without luck.

Yoongi usually keeps the condoms on his side, the right side. When you were together, you would occupy the left side which is closer to the window. You always preferred the one closest to the window. It didn't matter much to Yoongi which side he slept on, but he made sure yours was always cleared so you could store whatever stuff you wanted. From any type of jewelry you took off before going to sleep, to snacks or books you brought with you that day – you always had your space within his home. And going through what were once your drawers, you realize nothing much has changed. They look rather uninhabited, no traces of you or him – or even someone else which is a concern that crosses your mind now.

He scratches the back of his head. "Fuck..." His voice comes out in defeat. "Maybe I can ask one of the other guys–"

"Don't!" You grab him by the wrist before he can wander off.

Confused, he looks down at your hand then back at you. "Why? You don't want to anymore?"

Shaking your head, you murmur sheepishly, "That's not it." There's a beat of silence as he waits for more. You swallow down the lump in your throat before you elaborate further, "Have you been with anyone else after..."

He holds your gaze, his eyes turning somber at your insinuation. "No."

His answer his short, but it's all you need to know. Min Yoongi might be the master of poker faces, but when it comes to you you can read the man like a book.

"Have you?" he follows up.

You shake your head. "Me neither."

Your reply seems to loosen some of the tension Yoongi was harboring, his body language becoming much more relaxed. Intertwining your hand with his, he inquires with a spark in his eyes, "Are you still on the pill?"

Giving him an affirmative answer, you interlock your fingers with his free hand as well. Your gesture changes the mood for good, his signature gummy smile making its return. You pull him closer until you're chest to chest. Sending him a light peck to the corner of his mouth, you curl your fingers around the edges of his shirt, peeling it off his torso.

He chuckles, raising his arms into the air in compliance. His hair ends up slightly disheveled once the clothing drags over his head. As you're smoothing it out for him, he asks, "Are you sure you're okay with this?"  

You give it another second of thought. It wouldn't be the first time you've done it without extra protection. You started birth control once things became serious between the two of you. Over the course of your relationship, you would stick to double protection mostly to stay on the safe side. Now that you're back here with him and your first time ever since is going to be raw, it puts so much more significance to the situation – but that's what you want. You want to be with him all the way.

"I'm okay with this," you assure him with another peck to his lips. "Are you?"

Nodding his head, he allows you to drag down his pants and underwear that still hang around his thighs, letting them pool around his ankles. You're about to crawl back onto the bed when he stops you midway.

"What?" You look at him from across your shoulder. "What's wrong?"

His arm wraps around your middle, turning you on your back. "I wanna look at you."

With bated breath you watch his eyes linger on your face, taking in every inch of it as if he's trying to paint a picture of you in his mind. God. If he's not going to do anything, you're going to have to eventually –

Cupping your chin, he then kisses you deeply while entering you slowly.

Your reaction is immediate, gasping against his mouth as he sheaths himself inside of you. Thank God. Finally.

The feeling is all too familiar though it still needs some time getting used to. He prepped you well at least, so it doesn't take too long until pleasure ultimately replaces the stinging sensation.

"Fuck," he curses as he moves at a moderate pace. "I missed you."

You hold onto his arms resting beside your head. "I missed you, too."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

It's like this flips a switch inside of him, his movements becoming more eager and carnal. He fills you up to the hilt, thrusting in and out of you with vigor. The silver pendant of his necklace swings back and forth wildly, grazing across your chest.

Your nails leave crescent shaped marks around his biceps. You're reduced to moans and curses. How long have you been hoping for this? Within those three months without him, you never considered a chance of getting back together – but you also haven't stopped thinking about the possibility of it. It seemed so farfetched due to all the circumstances. You had ruled it out immediately. But your fantasy always ran wild with the idea of it. And now your fantasy has become reality.

A particularly hard thrust has you practically screaming. You're quick to cover your mouth, your hand clasping it shut.

"Don't do that." Yoongi grabs ahold of it, holding it down above your head. "I wanna hear you." As if to test you, his hips rut into you faster and harder.

This ultimately does the trick, and you certainly don't disappoint as you let out lustful sounds loud and clear. Your focus should be on the here and now – in the arms of the man that you love so much. Nothing else and no one else should matter. "O-oh God, Yoongi!"

He sends you a satisfied grin as he sits up on his heels, his hips still snapping into yours. "Turn around."

With a mocking voice you tease him, "I thought you wanted to look at me."

"Yeah," he states nonchalantly, separating his sweaty bangs. "Now I wanna see the other side."

You let out an amused chuckle but abide alas, turning around on your side first before falling forward on your hands, your ass on full display for him.

"Perfect," he praises, caressing your cheeks with both hands. "You're doing great, baby."

Seconds pass before you feel his tip slide past your folds again. The stretch is different in this position, deeper and more thorough. You don't even notice yourself backing into him, your behind pressed flush to his pelvis.

"A little eager, aren't we?" One of his hands comes down to spank you, but before you even get a chance to complain he continues his onslaught, rolling his hips into your backside with deliciously slow yet harsh thrusts.

"Oh my God!" You lower yourself until your chest comes into contact with the mattress. "Yoongi…"

The telltale sound of skin slapping against skin echoes off the walls though they're not enough to drown out your sounds. As he gradually picks up his pace, your moans turn unstoppable. It's like an out-of-body experience – and judging by the noises coming from the man behind you he seems to be thoroughly enjoying himself as well.  

"Fuck, baby…" Yoongi's grip on your hips tightens. "You take me so well."

You desperately nod your head at no one in particular before burying it in between your folded forearms as you withstand his force. There's a burn you're trying to ignore that spreads along your thighs, but the longer you hold out the easier you lose posture until you collapse like a house of cards.

"Here." His hands guide you further up on the mattress until you're on your half of the bed. "Lay down."

You flop down onto your back like a brick, drawing a chuckle out of Yoongi.

As he positions himself beside you, he puts your legs together rolling you onto your side.  

"Oh..." You watch him with wondrous eyes as he settles down onto the space behind you. "This is new."

"Yeah." He grins while looping an arm around you, burying himself in your heat again. "Thought you needed a break."

At that, you chuckle lightly. "How thoughtful of you."

"Right?" With one sharp thrust, he hits you right in your g-spot. "Aren't I thoughtful?"

You moan out as he continuously pistons in and out of you, unable to answer in coherent sentences. "Mh-hm, so th-thoughtful."

His hand resting on your belly trails down to your thighs, spreading them ever so slightly so he can toy with your clit. The other squeezes through a crevice he creates between you and the bed to play with your tits.

When you think this is the highest of pleasure you can experience, he proves you wrong again. As his hips and hands move together in a perfect rhythm, he has the audacity to nip at your neck at the same time. His hard cock driving in and out of your pussy while he draws circles on your clit, pinches your nipple, and laves his tongue over your neck – this overstimulation sends you straight to the verge of another orgasm.

"Yoongi…" You twist your head around, resting it against his. "I'm gonna cum again."

"Okay." His features are contorted, one of the telltale signs of his own high incoming. "I'm about to cum, too."

Grabbing onto the hair on the back of his head, you press your lips together. The position proves itself as slightly awkward but is no obstacle to the heated kiss you're able to share.

Parting for a split second, Yoongi mumbles against your lips, "Should I pull out?"

You give it a moment of serious thought, shaking your head. As much as you loved when he used to finish somewhere on your body, you loved it the most when he finished inside. It always felt the most intimate, connecting the two of you on another level. "Cum inside me," you clarify, your walls already starting to flutter at the thought of it alone.

It's apparent the male is affected by your command, trying his hardest to send the two of you over the finish line. His eyes are shut, and his forehead crinkled into deep creases. "Baby," he huffs out with shallow breaths, "cum for me, please."

His plea along with his relentless ministrations seem to be the final straw for you, that long awaited orgasm exploding within you like a firework. Your eyes roll into the back of your head as you manage out a hoarse moan, involuntarily clamping your thighs shut while your legs twitch.

"O-oh fuck!" Yoongi also finds his release right away, emptying himself inside of you. "Shit!"

You barely register the profanities leaving his lips, but once he's reduced to mere whimpers you come back to reality. You always thought they were the sweetest sound in the world, such a contradiction to the strong and secure exterior of Min Yoongi.

The two of you lie there entangled with one another, catching your breaths. It could be a matter of a few minutes or maybe even an hour that you bask in the afterglow until Yoongi breaks the silence. "Come on," he murmurs, caressing your cheek. "We gotta clean up. Take off your make-up and all that."

You agree although with an annoyed grunt, slowly heaving your strained limbs from the bed one by one. There's a slight chill in the room now that your body has acclimated without the added body temperature from Yoongi and the physical exertion.

The touch of a fabric being draped across your shoulders causes you to jump a little. Inspecting the piece, you realize it's Yoongi's shirt from earlier. Thanking him, you slide it on as you stand up to your full height. Your legs are like jelly and there's the telltale ringing in your ears.

"Can you walk?" Yoongi inquires, coming to stand beside you. He’s back in his boxers, inspecting you with care.

Sending a timid nod of your head, you take a step but stumble over your own feet.

His arms reach out for you just in time to prevent the fall. "I went too hard on you. I'm sorry, darling."

"'s alright," you slur into the crook of his neck. "I liked it. A lot."

A smug grin finds its way onto his features. "Now come on," he chuckles. "Let's get you cleaned up."

You're more than thankful in this situation that Yoongi's room is one of the two in this household with an en-suite bathroom (the other belonging to Seokjin – being the eldest comes with benefits for sure) since your legs almost give out at any step despite leaning onto him while you walk.

After you take care of your situation down there, Yoongi runs a warm washcloth along the inside of your thighs for good measure. You thank him with your mouth agape, watching him in astonishment while you're propped up on the sink countertop for balance. It's beyond you how you could agree to the break-up so easily when he's always been so attentive to your needs, has always taken care of you without you even asking.

"There." He rises back to eye-level with you. "All good now."

You turn around to face the mirror, looking around for the things you need to in order to wash up. "Do you have a spare toothbrush?" you ask.

The man takes a second to process your request before his hand curls around the handle of one of the upper drawers. "I actually..." He hesitates. "I've got a few things you could use."

When he opens the drawer, your breath hitches in your throat. "I forgot I left these here," you murmur, inspecting the items revealed to you.

"Yeah..." Yoongi scratches the back of his head. "When you said you didn't need them, I tried throwing them away, but... I just couldn't."

You fairly remember the scene, storming out of the house after that talk, and when Yoongi told you he still had stuff of yours when you came over to drop off his you answered in anger 'Keep it or throw it out'.

With a trembling hand, you reach for the pink headband next to the rest of your skincare products. You don't want it to happen, but tears spring up in your eyes. Trying to keep them at bay, you throw your head into your neck, but to no avail. The first tears roll down your cheeks, so you turn away from Yoongi in shame, letting them fall freely.

"Hey," Yoongi coos, his hands coming up to rub soothing circles into your arms. "It's okay, honey. It's in the past now."

You feel so endlessly guilty of how things have turned out. All you want is for it to work out with him.

He continues consoling you, "We're gonna do better this time. But we have to be honest with each other." One of his hands slide down to intertwine with yours. "So no more of that hiding shit."

You let him spin you around in your spot. Looking up at him through blurry vision, you wrap your arms around his neck. "I want this to work out, Yoongi," you croak out choked up on tears. "I really want this to work out."

"It's gonna work out," he assures you, his arms around you as tight and secure as ever. "We're gonna make it work."

As you pull apart, he swipes his thumb over the last of the remaining tears on your cheek before placing a chaste kiss on it. The gesture draws a smile back onto your face, soothing your haywire state.

It's so domestic how you stand next to each other now brushing your teeth and doing your skincare routines, pulling silly faces at one another through the mirror – and before you know it you're racing him back to the bed, drifting off into peaceful slumber with his chest pressed to your back.

Sunlight peeks through the blinds as you blink your eyes open. You're sore all over, the memory of last night hitting you like a bat over the head though it draws a smile on your lips – especially since his arm is still draped over your middle.

Carefully rolling over onto your side, you're met with a half-asleep Yoongi, his eyelids still heavy as he peers at you.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" you whisper, your smile widening at his cute face.

He shakes his head, burying his face into the pillow. "Mh-mh." His voice comes out muffled, thick with sleepiness. "I woke up a minute ago or so."

You place your hand on his cheek at which he turns his head again. Rubbing your thumb across his soft skin, you shuffle closer to peck him on the lips.

He seems slightly more awake after that, chasing after your lips for another.

You still can't believe this is how you ended up. All the trials and tribulations brought you back together in the end. A huge thank you is due to be said to Jimin.

Yoongi props himself up, looking around the room in search of something. Once his eyes land on the bedside table next to you, he speaks up, "Pass me my phone, please?"

You hum out in affirmation, bending over to the side to retrieve the device.

He settles back down on the bed when you hand it to him, welcoming you with open arms as you cuddle up to him. Tapping on the screen, he unlocks the phone to a plethora of messages. He opens the most recent chat with Jimin.

You're not one to sneak a peek, but it's hard not to when it's right in front of your face. When you read the last message, heat creeps up into your cheeks.

from Jimin [12:04 AM]

i'm glad you guys managed to "talk things out" 😉

"Oh God." You hide your face in the crook of his neck. "They know."

"Of course they know," Yoongi replies with a chuckle. "We were gone for the rest of the night." He types out a quick reply before tossing the phone onto the space beside him. "On top of that, we weren't exactly quiet," he jokes, wrapping his arms around you pulling you flush to his chest.

You linger in embarrassment for a little longer until you can't help but laugh along with him.

A soft knock on the door ends your chatter early to which Yoongi answers with a chipper 'Come in'.

The door cracks open ever so slightly, the chestnut-brown of Seokjin's mop of hair coming into sight. "Everybody decent?" he questions before correcting himself. "Well, you wouldn't have told me to come in if not." Swinging the door open wider until he's more than a floating head without a body, he adds, "Uh... Breakfast's ready."

"Alright, thanks," the younger male responds. "We'll be down in a bit."

"So you guys are good again?" The corners of Seokjin's mouth tug upward as if he doesn't know the answer already.

Yoongi sends him an assuring smile. "Yeah, we're good."

"Good, good. That's a relief." It looks like he's on his way out before he adds with a teasing grin, "Otherwise I would've had no other choice but to ask for your hand in marriage, _____, because that kiss last night was something else. Like wow–"

A loud thud sounds as Yoongi throws his pillow at the older male with full force. Seokjin's fast reflexes save him though as it knocks against the closing door instead.

You shake your head at the eldest’s shenanigans.

"Say…" Yoongi starts again, acting as if what just happened a second ago didn’t. "I’m gonna have to go on some trips starting next month."

Your ears perk up at that.

"I know I can’t take you with me on all of them, and I’m not gonna force you, but…" He studies you with careful eyes. "Do you think we can make something work? Like you keep me company for at least one of them?"

Tracing shapes across the smoothness of his chest, you answer, "It’s a little short notice, but I’ll talk to my manager first thing Monday morning."

He cracks a crooked smile. "If not, we’ll figure something out."

"We’ll figure something out," you repeat as an assurance to him but also yourself. "What’s important is we both gotta be comfortable with what we’re doing and be patient with the process. Chances are things aren’t gonna run smoothly right away."

His smile grows wider at your addition. "Yeah, exactly.” Pulling you closer to his chest, Yoongi says the next sentence with an underlying tone of regret. "I hope you know it’s not your fault."

Your fingers curl tighter around his figure.

"I was just as guilty myself, I made just as many mistakes." Tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear, he trails, "So please, don’t put all the blame on yourself."

Last night you would’ve cried in an instant, but you’re in a much better state this morning. Now you know you both have things to improve in order to move the relationship forward.

Lifting your head off his chest, you nod at him with a small smile. "Thank you for letting me know. And the same goes for you as well."

He reciprocates your smile before pulling you down towards him, pressing your lips together. "I love you," he repeats the words from last night.

Your heart flutters in your chest. "I love you, too." You resume the kiss, your hands roaming around his naked torso. "Do you think breakfast can wait? I feel like"–slinging one leg over to the other side, you straddle him–"I was kinda lazy last night."

At that, he gives you an all-knowing grin and the rest is history.

[tobbotobbs]

Yandere DBH RK800 Connor x male (deviant or human) reader

Connors mission is to find and obtain the reader, a deviant/human on the run. However when searching the house he finds reader hiding and doesn’t warn Hank. Instead he sneaks the reader out and takes him for himself. He was just such a pretty model/boy that he had to take him home for himself.

Maybe he imbeds a chip into the reader to know where he is at all times?

Either human or deviant reader, just make Yandere Conner please and thanks.

Never wrote yandere stuff before so I hope this is okay :(

It was dark outside when M/n finally found an abandoned house where he could rest and hide for now. He had been running from the police and the dogs for what seemed like an eternity. And the fact that they were shooting after him as well, because he apperiantly couldn't feel pain and was just scrap metal with a voice, did not really made the running easier. He had to dodge thise bullets because he, in fact, did feel everytime something punctured his model. He in fact had feelings. Which was the start of all his problems actually. He had started to show some interest in his Mistress, Alina, which led her to question him what was happening and if his database was broken or needed a new update. Of course he declined and actually told her, as stupid as he was, that he had those feelings in him. They just suddenly started to appear someday and since a few days he broke through his data wall and finally acted on his own completely. After hearing her bodyguard android telling her all this, Alina of course chose to be careful and tell the android company about this situation she was in. And in no time they came and wanted to get rid of M/n. It was devastating, he had thought Alina felt something for him as well. The way she always made sure he was all cleaned up, had enough power or would be in good condition after a hard day of keeping creeps away from her on festivals or meetings. Oh, how naive the android had been. Thinking back to all this, he really shouldn't have been surprised. As long as he had no boiling blood, a beating heart and the life ik his eyes when being looked at he was worth nothing to noone.

A loud creek from one of the molting woodplanks took his interest. Slowly, M/n made his way over to the next room where he assumed the sound had come from. At closer inspection he found a few pigeons on the floor who just seemed to be sitting there and resting, just like he did. Smiling he went closer and sat down next to them, the animals not bothered by the androids appearance and deciding to just stay where they were seated, sharing the nice quietness of the room in the dark room which was slightly alighted by the moons presence outside. ,,You guys seem so peaceful...I wish I could just fly away as well. That must be a relieving feeling, go just...go", he whispered more to himself than the pigeons who only looked at him from the side in a weird manner. He only chuckled lightly. ,,Yeah...Yeah I must look a little mad right now I guess...", still talking to himself, M/n decided to call it a day and maybe dwell in the comfort of old memories on his database.

Meanwhile in the dpd, Hank Anderson and his Android partner Connor were sitting at their desks and waiting for something to come up so they could finally get away from Gavin and rk900 yelling at eachother in the office. It was literal hell for them. These idiots weren't even getting any punishment which made Hank more annoyed than he already was. It was just awful watching those two argue about some little inconvenience of their case when the real reason they've been so frustrated with eachother was in fact not the case but the sexual tension going on between them. Everyone saw it, even Connor who mostly didn't understand social clues and other things that had to do with human emotions. But really, for an Android that smart rk900 also seemed to not get it. And Gavin probably just felt too ashamed and proud to let the thought of him liking an Android slide. Poor guys, Hank thought to himself. He then proceeded to turn around in his seat and took a look at his partner who, instead of still looking at the arguing cops, stared at the wall, deep in thoughts. His little LED flickered between blue and yellow, showing that he was thinking or more like processing something which got the older man interested.

,,Connor, what's going on in that little head of yours?", he had asked smugly, already awaiting Connors dismissing reply that he actually had no real head and mind but just his servers to go through, though it seemed the Android was so deep in whatever he was doing, that he didn't even noticed Hanks question. ,,Hank, Connor! Come up here, I got a mission for you two!", the loud voice of their boss suddenly rang through the office which also bought Connor out of his processing procedure. The both of them stood up and quickly went up the stairs to the bureau of the captain of the dpd to see what he had for them. Seated in the bureau they waited for their orders. Which came quickly. A the Android of a higher ranked woman among society turned Deviant and was missed. He was classified as very dangerous because he was a bodyguard and still has weapons on him. And Hank and Connor needed to search for clues on where he was or best, find him right away and take him in. It seemed like a good and easy start into the operation, as they had already a clue on where he was last seen.

And easy it was, as it seemed. The Deviant hasn't left the area since yesterday and they just needed to check in which of all the abandoned buildings he was hiding. For that Hank and Connor decided to split up to cover more grounds. Connor, alone in an old factory building, fell into a spiral of thoughts. He was thinking about what exactly happened to the Android to suddenly turn Deviant. Captain didn't tell them any details because they needed to hurry things. He also wondered if he could ask the Deviant a few questions, personal ones, before they need to take him in and interrogate him. Perhaps he could befriend him as well to make things go easier. He threw that thought away as fast as it came. Androids don't make friends. That's what Deviants do. He was no Deviant. Suddenly he heard something. A little humming, coming from the room next to him. Slowly and carefully, Connor peaked around the corner. There, next to a lot of pigeons, the Deviant they were searching for stood and hummed a melody while dancing around a little, or more like jumping around. At the sight Connor forgot why they were here. This Deviant was dangerous? That sweet looking, humming and jumping Android in front of him? That couldn't be. He was too precious. He couldn't possibly hurt a fly now, could he? As Connor watched M/n for a while longer some confusing feelings made their way up into his system which caused to constantly show the words Software Instability in the right corner of his vision. He ignored those though. More focused on the heavenly creation in front of him. He wanted M/n. The feelings in his system were want and desire, he finally figured out.

He walked into the room, M/n still not noticing his presence as he was having fun humming and jumping around. Just as he was about to turn around, Connor grabbed the other Android from behind and held him still. He quickly searched for the deactivation button on the model to turn him off and when he did found it, he pressed it. M/n suddenly stood still and his LED blinked red for a few more seconds before it turned off. ,,I got you...now I just have to bring you home. Hopefully Hank won't notice I just left now...", Connor talked to himself as he pulled M/n into his arms and carried him away. His legs carried him to his apartment which he got while he worked in the dpd with Hank. He hadn't want to stay at the older man's home all the time so he got his own place. The way back to Connors place wasn't too long and nobody seemed to be out on the streets at this time of the day so he could easily take M/n with him. In his apartment he laid the h/c android down onto his couch and just looked at him for a little while. Then he got to work.

He searched up what to do in a situation like this and he came across some dark looking sites on the internet that told him to lock the person up, bondage them and keep them quiet somehow and be careful to not let them leave too many handprints over his place. He was confused at first but didn't look to much into it, humans were confusing to him anyways. He even got into a little discussion on one of those dark illegal site where one person recommended him, if he wanted to keep the person in control and know where they were at all times, he should put a tracker on them. That gave Connor a idea. He smiled to himself after he planned out what he would do to keep this Android, his Android, at his side. It was getting overwhelming, those feelings he had. The want grew and grew, he needed M/n at his side forever, somehow. He would do anything to accomplish that. He pulled a few arrangements over the next day, he had turned M/n's model on again which needed a little bit to restart after the abrupt deactivation, which gave him enough time to go and get the little chip he had bought online. When he came back from his little shopping spree, he had also rather impulsively bought a collar and a leash after walking along a pet store, he opened the door to his apartment slowly. The place was totally quiet, which made the Android think that M/n's model was still restarting.

Well he had thought wrong. Just when Connor rounded the cornor into the living room, the Deviant jumped at him. They both fell to the floor, Connors contents he had bought flew a few metres away thanks to the force of M/n crashing into him. ,,Who the fuck are you?! And why did you take me?!?!", the h/c Android asked, his voice shaking with anger as well as anxiety. Defensively, Connor held his hands up. ,,I'm Connor. I'm an Android, just like you. Well. Nearly like you. I saw you yesterday and...I took you. I have this feeling in me and it makes me crave for you since I saw you and now that I have you, we can live together! You don't have to worry about getting captured, tortured or even destroyed by humans! And you can jump around and hum how much you like here with me! You'll have such a kice life here with me, I promise!", he kind of maniacally smiled up at M/n. Everything he had said caught the ex bodyguard off guard. ,,Crave...me? What do you mean?", more anxious and confused now, M/n stood up and backed away from Connor a little. ,,You belong to me now M/n! I can and will give you everything yeah? This is your new home, trust me this is going to be perfect!", he stood up as well and walked closer to M/n. ,,I even got my little Deviant something~", it nearly sounded like Connor was purring those words as he grabbed the stuff from the floor. ,,Now, be good and let me put this around you yes? It will make you look so much better!", he exclaimed. His cold hands took the collar and the leash, opening it while putting it around M/n's neck, who was still shocked and couldn't really react or do anything. After it was put comfortably around the neck and closed, Connor clipped the leash onto a little hook at the frond of the collar and tugged slightly at it which made the Deviant fall forward a little and his mouth escaped a choked gasp at the sudden pressure around his throat, which turned a little white at the irritation.

Snickering, Connor tugged a little more until M/n was right in front of him. If he could breath, the other Android would've been able to feel it on his skin. ,,So good for me darling...now to my last little gift. God you look so obedient and good in this collar and leash! If I tugg you a little closer...like...this!", he pulled and M/n finally fell fully into his chest. That gave Connor the perfect position of putting the chip into back of M/n's head. ,,Darling stay still for a second. I've got to put something into you...for your safety yes? It could hurt a little but please, remember I love you and I am doing this so you'll be able to have a better life yes?", he sugar coated what he was about to do. Panicking about what was about to happen, M/n started to free himself from Connors grip, but the other had him perfectly captured between his arms. M/n felt one cold hand travel to the back of his head, where he pushed a little around before he found what he was looking for. A little plate of metal that wasn't really connected to the rest of the other parts. So he could pull it of, with force. Which he did. Agonizing pain went through the Deviants body. His eyes were opened wide while his mout let out an silently painful scream. If he could, he would fall unconscious. He wished he could fall unconscious. He didn't want to be here in the arms of some weird Android model that has gone mad. M/n didn't even care about the pain when the chip was put into his model. He just accepted it and afterwards, when the little plate was put onto it's place again, he didn't dare to look Connor in the eyes. He was scared, confused and stressed. He should've stayed with Mistress Alina, should've not told her how he felt. Oh what he would give to just be in her presence right now and get to speak a few words with her. He missed her. So much. It made him feel even worse, now that some creepy stranger took a liking on him and decided to creepy him and make him his. He didn't want that, all he wanted was to be left alone, to fly like the pigeons did.

So aorry this is actually so fucking bad I didn't know what to write exactly 'cause I've never written or really read any yandere stuff! I'm so sorry, hope you guys still kinda enjoyed it (:

[pansy-picnics]

No idea if they would since they all live in a castle but how do you think the uknighted parents each would deal with empty nest syndrome?

AUDJSJSD NGL I’VE KINDA BEEN HOPING FOR A QUESTION LIKE THIS BC!! they DO. and they are NOT good at it. AT ALL.

ukd are very adamant on giving their kids the freedom they never had growing up, so as long as they’re managing their own duties they’re basically free to do whatever (though eugene can be a Little overprotective sometimes he means well). of course bc ilmari’s adopted and isn’t of any royal blood they end up being the first to leave the nest… i’ve already discussed that vaguely here, so this time i’m gonna talk more abt ryder!!

being the eldest of the twins ryder is technically supposed to take on the throne to corona, and people have a LOT of high expectations from him, especially other nobles/those who were….less than pleased with rapunzel’s approach to ruling. he’s basically seen as the “light” of corona and has been held on a pedestal since he was very young, which leads him to repress himself and puts a lot of strain on his relationships for many years- especially with alina who’s often left in his shadow (and he doesn’t mind it per se!!! but he does feel like her life is pretty directionless, and she’s always been rather dependent on ryder bc of it).

all this to say, eventually on their 18th birthday everything boils over and leads to a nasty fight between the twins. they both kinda realize that they need to grow up and branch out in their own ways- and ryder in particular realizes that he rlly just needs to get Away for a while. so going to help edmund in the dark kingdom seems like a pretty good way to gain some new perspectives!!

after all the pressure she was under herself, rapunzel understands this more than anything…..but that doesn’t make it any easier for her (or cass and eugene, for that matter) to accept. :’3

idk if any of you guys watched steven universe future, but i think they’d all be like this final scene like. ALMOST WORD FOR WORD LMFAO

in fact as soon as ryder even suggests the idea to rapunzel shes awkwardly slipping out of their painting session and running to cass and eugene in TEARS and they cry for a good 3 hours but obviously they want to be SUPPORTIVE and STRONG for their BOY!!! so they pull themselves together and when he brings it up again at dinner they’re like. “omg thats great!!! ^_^” and ryder is just like ?????????

and ryders almost a little hurt that they seem so unfazed so he tries to prod them like. Aren’t you guys upset. but they don’t budge. and so obviously right at the end as he’s saying goodbye to everyone and they’re STILL nonchalant abt it he just bursts into tears like “WHY AREN’T YOU GUYS SAD IM LEAVING :(“ and IMMEDIATELY the three of them all jsut run to him BAWLING

ryder rlly enjoys his time in the dark kingdom actually. obviously edmund and the brotherhood have a Lot of flaws in their approach to ruling….but that’s not rlly what ryder needs anyways. i think they’re very goal oriented and focused on what they can do as a unit rather than what other people think of them, and that’s a lesson ryder definitely needs to learn. not to mention he brings a lot of color to the place (both in a literal and metaphorical sense).

alina pretty much stays in corona tho…which her parents certainly aren’t complaining about. i think he really needs some time to stand up and take on more responsibility without ryder stepping in for him. the twins wont be taking on the thrones anytime soon, but i think when they do, they’ll end up switching- so ryder will be the king of the dark kingdom, and alina will take on the role as queen of corona. alina’s always had deeper ties to her kingdom than ryder did…not to his fault, but the pressure he’s had put on him just made it hard for him to focus on the things that Mattered, yk? he’s ended up being very stuck in his status, while alina has been a lot more down to earth and has always felt a closer connection to the public, if that makes sense… :3

but ryder and ilmari still visit all the time, and ilmari will take over the library one day too…like, raps, cass and eugene haven’t been Perfect parents by any means, but they’ve never failed to make sure their kids know just how strong, capable and loved they are. even though it hurts to see them go (and poor alina definitely has to deal with their theatrics and coddling for YEARS while her older siblings are gone), it’s very clear that no matter where they go, their kids will always know their home is with them, yk??? they love their parents so much and it just makes me so emo😭😭😭

additionally, i think uknighted dream kind of do some equivalent of fostering long after their own kiddos leave the nest… the three of them do a lot of community work, they have a lot of programs instilled for struggling families and kids alike. they end up helping pretty closely with a lot of the orphanages, not only with funding but also by putting in their own work. they visit a lot, come to tons of events…they end up forming a lot of bonds with the kids individually, or occasionally take them in when there isn’t anywhere else for them to go.

sometimes they know these kids for years, sometimes only for a few weeks…but they always try to stay in contact with them regardless. and even when that isn’t possible, they never forget about any of the kids they’ve met….so by the time they’re all old and grey, they basically have hundreds of pseudo-kids and grandkids all across the seven kingdoms, and in a way, their nest never really feels completely empty 🥹🫶

[ofdusk]

Celebrating TOA and the people who contribute to make our group what it is.

Repost, don't reblog. Only fill in what you feel comfortable sharing!

Happy anniversary, TOA! Here's to many more years spent together.

tagging: you.

Name: alina

Pronouns: they/she/he

Birthday (no year): octrober 4th

Where are you from? What is your time zone? georgia, EST !

Roleplay experience: since i was like? nine?

Got any pets? two dogs & my cat, melon!

Favorite time of year: spring or autumn

Some interests and things you like: cosplay, sleeping

Some funfacts & trivia about you: ive been wearing glasses since i was three :'D (my prescription is a +7.5 for those who Know)

What non-Fire Emblem games do you play? league of legends (sigh), devil may cry, hsr and (formerly) genshin, nier -- i've dabbled in a little bit of everything

Favorite Pokemon type & Pokemon: big flying enjoyer, but i like a lot of them. i also have a number of favs but my horsegirl years have left ponyta & rapidash with a very special place in my heart

How did you get into Fire Emblem? watched over someone's shoulder when i was an young child (i think they were playing POR..?) and now. well.

What Fire Emblem games have you played? i've played every game post awakening (+ sacstones), though i've read the scripts & watched playthroughs for fe4, 5, 6, 7, 11, & 12

First Fire Emblem game: that i played? honest to god i do not remember (probably awakening)

Favorite Fire Emblem game: narratively, genealogy, but my heart belongs to conquest

Any Fire Emblem crushes? girl i do Not want to talk about it we will be here all day

If you’ve played the following games, who was your first S support? - Awakening: chrom- Fates: azura...leo every time after tho- Three Houses: dimitri- Engage: diamant

Favorite Fire Emblem class: I FUCKIGN LOVE PEGASUS KNIGHTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you were a Fire Emblem character, what would be your class? probably a bow knight... low stat growth archer that everyone benches by chpt 3

If you were a Three Houses character, what would be your affiliation? i live and die blue lions godbless

If you were an Engage character, which Emblem would you Engage with? take a guess man (corrin)

How did you find TOA? i was going through it and reaaaaaally missed rping so i just. took to twitter in search of fire emblem rp groups and... at six am.... i sent in a reserve......

Current TOA muses: f!corrin, lucina, and priscilla

Who was your first TOA muse? If you don’t have them anymore, could you see yourself picking them up again? probably the greatest outlier in all of my toa muse history, my first muse was sylvain! honest to god if i picked him up again i pray somebody would call in a wellness check for me LMFAO

Have you had any other TOA muses? i have written sylvain, rinea, eirika, ash, erinys, nyna, and tailtiu within toa so far (sobs)

Do you think you have a type of character you gravitate towards? women.

What do you believe you enjoy writing the most? i really enjoy writing complex relationship dynamics, and find i have the most fun picking apart the way a character's experiences shape their view and approach of other people

Favorite TOA-related memory: if i'm being completely honest, i don't think i could pick one. perhaps my very first arena when my team discussed a hypothetical grocery store trip between our muses for some reason (team ralf i love you)

Got any delusions that didn’t see the light of day in TOA that you’d like to share? :3

[arillusionist]

s&b season2ep4 reaction!! book update: i finished seige and storm. it was lwk boring and im literally so mad bc alina deserves SO much better than mal hes such a hoe. anyways

help whats going on i kinda forgot what happened in the last episode

time to go read my own reaction

HELL NAH ITS BEEN A WHOLE WEEK SINCE I WATCHED THIS SHOW?? anyways i kinda remember the last ep now but my reaction is mostly crows stuff so it wasnt That helpful

ANYWAYS

even though mal is muchhhhhh better in the show i like the direction theyre taking with alina actually marrying nikolai

then again i havent read the kos duology (yet) so i dont know anything abt his real romance story so thats probably why i dont mind

stop mal telling alina shes his nation is so cute unlike in the books

and the way they actually do have some chemistry?? im sorry for ever hating you show malina 😔😔

is that the brother i cant tell

why does baghra lwk piss me off ...i cant tell if its because she wont stfu or because shes js boring

GENYA ☹️☹️

🥱🥱

FINALLY

"it'll give me some comfort to know you're with me" ohhhdhfmyygodddd and then her smile ahhhh

i cant tell if inej is mistaking kaz telling her to leave the city as him wanting her gone, when in reality hes js tryna protect her

or if shes just not promising it because she cant

theyre so complicated they make me sick (i love them 😭😭😭)

AWW THE I LIKE YOUR STUPID FACE LINE its different but whatever

WAITT JESPER BASICALLY CALLED HIM AND KAZ BROTHERS AND KAZ DIDNT EVEN DISAGREE?? HE LITERALLY AGREED

no cuz i actually thought kaz was gnna punch him or something but thats nice

no mourners no funerals 🙏🙏

NINA DECKING KAZ HELL YEAH I NEEDED TO SEE THAT

Dont take this as me disliking kaz btw hes my 2nd favorite character i js need to see him being put in his place

i have the most out of pocket thing to say but im not gnna say it

there are two heartrenders right there why dont they just check his pulse to see if hes lying

oh now they do it

i feel like maybe this is how they incorporate the crows into alina's plot - they'll ask them to find the sword since theyre criminals and know more than just the "wider black market"

IM LITERALLY A GENIUS HELLO????

NOT ME PREDICTING IT LIKE 2 SECONDS BEFORE HE SAYS IT

they cant just show kaz and nina for two seconds and then cut to another scene hello

OH NVM its an inej scene 🙏🙏

its so dark i can barely tell whats happening

oh they did the pox thing too they really taking half of crooked kingdom's plot huh

yeah now they decide to explain the plan

kaz is actually being so much like book kaz in this scene

"the trick is not to love anything" YEAH YOU KEEP TELLING YOURSELF THAT... and with nina in the background too?? i wish inej was here tho like in the books

i think shes busy saving those randos

"something you'd sacrifice everything for and it makes you weak" stop projecting

SIX FEET DEEP

see inej really needs to be here now nina and jesper kinda know his backstory but she doesnt

then again its more meaningful if he tells her on his own time

HIS SMIRK

"im begging you" "are you?" hes not begging but i can

sorry

HIM ASKING FOR THE QUITCLAIM DEED FOR INEJ 🥺🥺 him liquifying everything he owns in the books is still better tho

THE LOOK IS HIS EYES - this is not freddy carter acting as kaz this is LITERALLY kaz

lmfaoo the offended look on toyla's face

WHYD THAT ACTUALLY SCARE ME (the guy sneaking up behind mal)

ok so i have a class so i'll watch the rest later

im backkk

seeing that vasily guys face after a few hours is such a jumpscare like why is he so ugly

bruh i jus realized theyre not gonna do the thing where inej cuts a line above pekkas heart 😐another kanej moment wasted

hjdkfk wylan hiding under the table when jesper asks him out

this conversation is so awkward i keep pausing it 😭

its cute tho

omg just kiss already the tension is getting to me

finally!!! 🙏🙏

WAIT FUCK I JS REALIZED THATS ANOTHER MOMENT WASTED CUZ THEY CANT DO THE JESPER KISSING THE WRONG GUY THING IF THE SPINOFF HAPPENS

im not really liking how they did wesper anyways.... with the whole one night stand thing... 😐

ok. yeah. wow. go from super cute fluffy wesper to kanej angst. yeah. remind me of what i dont have.

kaz saying that theres a weak link in the crew and inej thinks it means her but hes actually talking ab HIMSELF because shes his weakness and shes the person he would sacrifice everything for and AUGHHH

the difference between the show and the books when kaz gives her the paper is crazy

wish they had kept the book's scene fr

waittt is nikolai adopted??

oh he is

tamar and nadia definitely have something going on its already canon that nadia is into girls so!!

did the vasily guy die i hope he did 🙏🙏

why didn't baghra just. do that before. yk BEFORE she got her damn finger cut off

"your obsession with the fold is naive" is bro talking about alina or himself

and thats it watch me wait another week again before watching the next episode 💀

[goatsandgangsters]

FUCK IT, I’M NOT WAITING, SHADOW AND BONE EPISODE 1 LIVEBLOG HAPPENING HERE AND NOW: 

I was gonna wait until Friday Night because Friday Night is Special TV Night where I watch my Special Show with my Friday Night Quesadilla because I have Routines but FUCK IT! WHY DEPRIVE MYSELF. I’M DOING THIS NOW.

haven’t even opened netflix yet but the sheer adrenaline rush I have right now from Breaking Routine to do something Because I Want To, wow powerful stuff

let’s gooooo bitch I NEED TO SEE MY BOY MY SPECIAL BELOVED BOY I HAVE BEEN WAITING YEARS TO FINALLY SEE MY BOY show me MY BOY

I open netflix. it is an enormous picture of ben barnes’s face. I yell THAT’S MY MAN. I sit on my couch buzzing with adrenaline. I still have not hit play. 

oh good I’m glad they’re re-using the ominous ben barnes voiceover from the very first season 1 teaser. but also I’m skipping the recap because DON’T WORRY I KNOW. I KNOW EVERYTHING

I love that they didn’t make me wait to see my Geriatric War Criminal :3333 

THE MAP TRANSITION, YOU LOVE TO SEE IT!!!

oh damn, was NOT expecting to see the creepy 1899 boy seven minutes into the episode. I really thought they were gonna save the kaz backstory for like. deep into the season. 

SKDHFGJSFDHG AAAAAND SHE’S GONE

okay I fucking love that they still managed to make the kaz flashback happen in a prisoner transport, just a totally different one, but I FUCKING LOVE THAT THEY FOUND A WAY TO KEEP THE LOCATION THE SAME. A++, VERY BRILLIANT, IT’S DIFFERENT BUT ALSO IT’S THE SAME also protective concerned jesper ;_; 

I see the boy :33 trying to be all sneaky and enter this scene at the side of the frame :3333 trying to be all tricksy likE MY EYE IS NOT SO DEEPLY ATTUNED TO HIS DUMB SUNSHINEY FACE, LIKE MY GAZE WOULD NOT IMMEDIATELY SNAP TO THAT BRIEF CORNER OF THE FRAME, LIKE HE COULD FOOL MEEEEEEE you really thought if you kept out of focus I would not see bUT I SEE!! I SEE AND I SAW!! I SAW THE HIM. I SAW MY SPECIAL BABY BOY. 

I’ll be honest here, I saw people theorizing way back when “oooooh what if nikolai hired them in season 1″ and I thought that was stupid and born out of this fandom’s Very Boring desire to try and Morally Justify everything the crows do because people are dumb and boring. part of me is Petty and Annoyed that there’s a win for the “noooooo the crows have to be my perfect sweet angels who’ve never done anything wroooooong” crowd 

that IS some fucking Eye Contact tho, kazolai real, and THAT’s a win For Me

Petty Grievances Set Aside By How Fucking Perfect He Is, He’s So Good, He’s Immediately So Good, My Beautiful Boy He Is So Talented

I BELIEVED IN PADDY GIBSON FROM THE BEGINNING!! I HAD FAITH WHEN NO ONE DID!!!! I AM VINDICATED, AS I KNEW THAT I WOULD BE!!!!!!!! 

And There Was Only One Art Nouveau Bed 

shadow and bone showrunners have found the key to making me pay attention to malina scenes: include art nouveau furniture 

(I do genuinely think they’re sweet, I Don’t Actually Mind, but I’m legally obligated to do a liiiiittle bit of playful ribbing :p) 

wow that handcuff remark, Kazolai bondage when!!! i SAID WHAT I SAID

“this is my mommy’s fancy jewelry actually soooooo” god I love him. I love him so much. I love every second he is on my screen. I Knew It Was Going To Be Big Unhinged For Nikolai Lantsov Hours, But Somehow Even I Underestimated 

genuinely, I’ve never understood why Kazper wasn’t The Behemoth Noncanon Ship Of This Fandom. but then again I’ve also never understood why this fandom HAS no popular noncanon ships. their one-on-one scenes this episode were fantastic 

I am also no longer kidding about the Kazolai, this is already so much More than I was expecting, why the fuck do they have so much chemistry, this is unfair 

The Ravkan Polycule Is No Longer Strictly Ravkan 

“that line doesn’t work on me anymore,” Alina dearest it’s never been said on the show before

ANYWAY, THEY SAID MY DARKLINA SHIP TAG, LEONARDO DICAPRIO POINTING MEME 

is it time for me to get on my soapbox about how I think that actually the Darkling is the most self-sacrificing character in all of the books (yes I have already written meta about that). dedicating 800 consecutive years to the same never-ending fight, waging the same battle on behalf of your people to the point that you lose your entire humanity and everything that once made you you? literal sacrifice of the self. who else in this series would fight a losing battle for 800 years. MAN IS MADE OF SELF-SACRIFICE AND THAT WAS BEFORE HE GOT IN THE TREE, anyway I should post that spicy meta on this some day 

I’m on his side in Darklina Argument #1, you haven’t been in this fight very long girl. come talk to me in a couple centuries 

PEOPLE TURNING ON ALINA AND VILIFYING HER IS A PLOTLINE I ALWAYS WANTED TBH, GIRL YOU ARE ABOUT TO LEARN THAT MORALITY IS JUST A MATTER OF PERSPECTIVE AND WHO GETS TO TELL THE STORY

SKJDHFGKJSDFHG MAL PAID THE GUY FOR THE BROKEN POT oh he is such a sweetpea 

oh the music when the twins are introduced is SUCH a fucking bop!!! 

not gonna lie, I like Pekka’s vest. he’s being threatening and menacing and I’m just like mmmm nice vest. #priorities 

OH RIGHT. WYLAN. I was so absorbed in everything Happening that I completely forgot about him, Something I Was Also Excited About

Wylan, honey, he’s wearing gloves, I think he can touch whatever bottles he wants (I am feelings about Concerned Kaz ;_;) 

WHAT an entrance Nina!! 

I laugh every single time they speak one of the fantasy languages and then switch back and the subtitles say [in English] TECHNICALLY NO, THEY ARE NOT 

TWINS GOT A GOOD FUCKING MUSICAL SCORE!!!!!!! it’s no parson’s farewell bUT IT’S JAUNTY AND NAUTICAL AS FUCK 

can’t wait for this bigoted otkazat’sya agitator with the fucking audacity to wear someone’s kefta get ripped to fucking shreds by nichevo’ya in approximately 20 seconds

YOU LOVE TO SEE HIM DO SOME VERY JUSTIFIED MURDERS!!!! BITE AND CHOMP AND KILLLLLLLLL 

THEY PLEDGED TO FOLLOW ME WHEN I WAS ALIVE THEY TURNED WHEN THEY THOUGHT I WAS DEAD NOW I WILL COME BACK FROM THE DEAD AND LAY CLAIM TO WHAT I AM OWED!!!!!!!!! is what aleks meant to say in the universe where he gets written by black sails writers like he deserves 

aaaaauugghhhhh the “this again” I JUST FUCKING THINK. THAT IF YOU HAVE LIVED. THROUGH MULTIPLE CENTURIES OF GENOCIDE. YOU’RE ALLOWED TO SAY FUCK IT, DO SOME WAR CRIMES, AND OVERTHROW SOME SHITASS FUCKIN MONARCHIES. I SIMPLY THINK YOU HAVE EARNED THE RIGHT TO DO THAT!!!! 

cook up some dinner ???????????? oh darkling stans, we are memeing the fuck out of that one. aleks. honey. did you think that sounded cool. did you really. 

like I said in the tags of the gifset the other day, their perception of nina must be so fucking funny. THE SPY YOU ALMOST MET IN ANOTHER COUNTRY, BUT DIDN’T BECAUSE SHE GOT KIDNAPPED BY MILITARIZED RELIGIOUS EXTREMISTS, JUST WALKS INTO YOUR SUPER SECRET MEETING SPOT IN A CUTE OUTFIT. WHAT DO YOU DO WITH THAT. 

nina honey he’s not the love of your life, you’ve known him for like a week and he wanted to kill you for at least a third of it, slow down 

BRICK! BY! BRICK!!!!!! 

IT BELONGS TO BASTARDS!!!!

I love this gaudy ass fucking coat so much, it’s so perfect 

the only thing I love more than that gaudy perfect coat is the gaudy perfect bastard wearing it 

I know I still have Seven More Episodes, but like. I do genuinely just want to watch this one again???? that was So Fun. also it took me an hour and 45 minutes because I kept pausing to write my thoughts. if they took two years to release Just This Episode, I’d be like YEAH THANKS THAT WAS GREAT, THAT WAS WORTH TWO YEARS, SATISFYING SEASON, 10 OUT OF 10, I’M FULL AND SATISFIED 

[phosphorescent-naidheachd]

 @goblins-riddles-or-frocks replied to your post:Sunday Snippet

I love this!! I think my favorite take on these two is just throwing them together post r&r and seeing how they claw their way out of their respective traumas. and idk second choice romance is so poignant to me.

I love what a gut punch it is for her to say “I thought I was” there. where do you even go from that! especially after already getting married, and the nature of royalty being what it is I get not knowing how to resolve it tho, I’m stalling on pretty much the same issue myself alas

Ahhh, thank you!! I love the dynamic between these two, and doubly so during and post R&R. They have #CompatibleTraumas, and I think it’s a lot of fun to explore the ways the characters’ traumas and emotional needs interact—both for better and for worse. 

And yes to your statement about second choice/second chance romances!

IMO, even more than her feelings for Mal or the Darkling, the main obstacle to canon Nikolai/Alina is that canon!Alina is unsuited for life as a political figure. From a Doylist perspective, this unsuitability boils down to Bardugo’s desire to have Alina end her story by returning to Keramzin with Mal at her side—an ending that wouldn’t work anymore if Alina was allowed to fully grow into her leadership role. 

I think you’re the person I’ve discussed this with before, but while I understand what Bardugo was trying to narratively achieve, and I don’t wholly disagree with it, it still frustrates me to see Alina start to reach her potential, only to repeatedly have it cut off and watch her start from scratch over and over again. I’ll freely admit that this is a matter of personal preference as much as it is objective critique! 

I’m sure a thousand metas have been written about how Alina’s different love interests symbolize different parts of herself and different paths she could have taken, but it always hits me anew each time I think about her canonical relationships.

ANYWAY.

I feel like Nikolai could respond to Alina’s accusations by retreating behind his ‘perfect prince’ veneer, or he could be emotionally open with her, as he has been in the past. Likewise, I can see Alina either retreating from him or having a real conversation with him. Despite the rocky start to their acquaintance, the two of them have been pretty low-drama together when it comes to the personal stuff!

Yeah, the nature of royalty means divorce or even an official separation aren’t really options—especially not without the existence of an heir and a spare!—which would only make Alina feel more trapped. That said, I can see Alina going on a PR tour/diplomatic trip/secret mission by herself (albeit accompanied by guards/friends) as a solution of sorts, as that would temporarily give her space from Nikolai, the palace, and her ordinary duties. Likewise, I think it would help Alina if she did more work with the common people, as that’s something that feeds her soul in the same way working with the nobility drains her. 

The role of queen can’t be completely changed without creating problems for the Lantsov reign, especially since Nikolai came to the throne under the circumstances he did, but I think Alina and he could get away with tweaking it some. Alina’s sainthood would aid them in this, as it lets conservatives write her off as the exception rather than the rule, while also gradually accustoming everyone to a different type of queenship.

That said, I think my resolution might simply be adding Zoya into the mix (and potentially moving the entire scene into my WIP Nikolai/Zoya/Alina fic). 

Zoya tosses her dark, glossy curls back. “Self-pity isn’t a good look on you, Starkov.”

“Self-pity?”

“None of us forced you to stay; no one forced you to marry Nikolai. This was your choice. And now you want to quit because, what, it’s too hard?” She sniffs derisively. “If you’re going to run away, do it now before you’ve established yourself any further. I’m sure someone will step up to fill your place.”

Alina sputters, furious. “I—I’m not running away.”

Even if I wanted to, I have nowhere left to go.

“If you say so.” Her tone is infuriatingly, airily dismissive. “But then, that’s your modus operandi, isn’t it? Running away when things get too real?”

“I’m not a coward,” Alina spits back.

Zoya smiles, all teeth and disdain. “Then prove it.”

[hqlmsbury]

SHADOW AND BONE SEASON 2 SPOILERS

My thoughts and opinions 😱. I honestly really really enjoyed it, it’s different but it’s an adaptation of what I already love. Some parts though could’ve definitely been better.

• I know people were skeptical about Patrick but straight away from episode one where he went “You don’t know me? Maybe in profile. ” that was when I knew Nikolai literally was on my screen. He did a great job!

• I think Jack is lovely. Unfortunately I think that he was a bit too much van sunshine and not enough Wylan. He does a wonderful job on the cute parts but Wylan from the books is witty and brave and reckless even, hopefully we get to see that more in a future season 🤞

• SUJAYA OWNS ME IN EPISODE SIX 🧎‍♀️ Zoyas outfit in Shu Han is legendary. Sujaya IS zoya and nobody can tell me otherwise. Zoya is one of my favorite characters and I really enjoy how Sujaya portrays her!

• I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR DAVIDS DEATH 😭. When Genya found the ring I lost it right then and there it was SO SAD.

• I’m very disappointed in how they did Wesper tho 😭. We got absolutely no slow burn, and while Kit and Jack have great chemistry I was hoping we’d get a bit more of that are they? Are they not? That we got in the beginning of soc

• episode four was amazing. I was a bit upset at first that they were using part of the ck plotline but after I watched it I’m not too mad. I really liked how Freddy did that scene with Pekka it really gave off Kaz in the books vibes. Loved it.

• when amita said “and how will you have me?” And that whole monologue it was PERFECT. Her pauses and her expression masterpiece really.

• I was a bit sad about how they did Alina this season. I very much relate to Alina and I really loved her in season 1. This season it felt like her character didn’t really go anywhere, I would’ve liked to see her start out a bit more hesitant and to grow into who she is at the end. They had Alina be really headstrong about what she wants right from the beginning which I get for time sake but still

• Where was the Tamar and Nadia scenes?? 😭 we got like CRUMBS if you could even call it that it was disappointing.

• That new tide maker lady who was like a teachers pet to the darkling was kind of weird imo. I’m assuming that was where Ivan would have been but I saw Julian’s (Fedyor) post on instagram where they decided to leave them out of this season. Which is unfortunate because the whole darklings crew was a bit weird including Vladim the weird Alekmi lol

• Daisy did a wonderful job as Genya. All her scenes were done spectacularly. I applaud

I can’t think of anything else right now and this turned out to be much longer than I thought lol. But stream shadow and bone season 2 so we can get a six of crows spin off and a season 3!!

[lozzzzaaaaaa]

*S2 Spoilers*

Comforting to find that other people didnt think this season delivered because i finished it yesterday and was in tears at how bad it was?? I read the books after s1 came out and whilst i had my own gripes with those, overall i enjoyed, soc & ck especially. To my memory, s1 and book 1 were basically the same, with a few changes and i thought they did a good job of adapting it. But s2 was a mess. Dont get me wrong, on a baseline it was great- visually stunning, every single actor ate, Freddy Carter outshone imo it was his moment. Watching it as a fantasy tv show i had a great time, as a book fan i did not. The first half i enjoyed more, although at the back of my mind was “thats not how it happens” “thats not right” but these thoughts were hard to ignore esp in the last 2 eps. A lot of decisions were made that i think they’re going to have difficulty explaining later on- genya and david (absolutely devastated about him), Inej’s freedom before soc, and a lot of v poignant scenes in the books wont make sense anymore e.g. the dock fight in soc when kaz carries inej and other scenes have lost their significance.

One of my fave scenes in R&R is when the DL shows Alina the burning orphanage with Ana Kuya and Botkin really put everything into perspective about how bad his character is and the lengths that he’ll go to, delivering one of the best lines. But nothing in the show. That being said i am still a basic bitch who simply wants the content in her eyes so Wesper yes Kanej yes G&D amazing Tolya and Tamar can do no wrong so i was still freaking out but it felt sour afterwards. Nikolai/Sturmhond i liked, i was initially unsure about Paddy but he pulls it off well. Shame they couldnt have made him look different for the two characters but oh well.

The final battle in the fold was not at all like in R&R, my fave out of the 3, and reading it i was sobbing but with this i didnt really feel anything except annoyed. There’s so many things i can point out that have annoyed me but this would be a 1000 words long.

Ultimately i understand why they have done this- no ones safety is guaranteed at netflix and i have been burned by their cancellations before. But in the same way that some dont want a SOC 3 book so all characters are technically safe- i think i wouldve rather had a 2 season show done right rather than whatever they’re going to pull to fix it, pending renewal. Speaking of which- idk what Calahan has done to wrong the writers but he mustve had 10 mins of screentime this whole season they did him so dirty. Ok im sorry you had to read all that but i was going to combust. Let me know ur thoughts tho

[soulrph]

anon s again, if you have the time describe some of your favorite tropes of all time or that you might've seen recently (whatever way you wanna tell me, prompts dialogue or just word vomit) i'm taking a break from writing and may or may not be curious

it would be my pleasure!! gonna leave it under the readmore tho bc i. i got excited. and it's only two examples bc if i did more of them i'd never stop writing and reading!

okay, so for starters, this one usually gets a lot of criticism for the fact that, in the past, it's been historically written off as convenient to the plot. and i think they call it a deus ex machina, but i googled that, S, i googled it and i have to disagree bc when it's done properly, it's a thing of true BEAUTY! it's basically the trope where someone's about to get hurt or killed or whatever, and then someone else shows up and saves them before it happens. and recently i've been watching shows where this trope is done SO well! a solid example is when the darkling saves alina from the druskelle. it's written off as a basic "ah yes, she's the sun summoner, he's the general, it's important she survives to save the world". but the darkling's motives are later revealed as being far more insidious in nature, so his interest in saving her life isn't actually to save the world, it's to serve his own purposes.

( basically, if it's done correctly, it reveals details of the characters and their goals. the darkling wants alina to expand the fold, so he saves her life. similarly, inej and kaz are at massive odds because they disagree on whether or not alina is an actual genuine sun summoner, but they both become invested in keeping her alive because inej believes alina is a saint, and kaz believes alina can keep them all alive while in the fold. inej's faith and kaz's survival instincts are both reflected. )

okay that turned into an essay and !!! and i'm blanking now bc i'm not overly observant, i just react well to certain things and it never occurs to me that it's a pattern!

but recently i've been thinking a lot about stranger things, and more recent installations of the mcu where the decisions that are made by the characters aren't necessarily easy nor morally clear ones. and i really really love that stuff too! in particular, jane's choice in the season finale ( i don't wanna spoil it. it's been three months but jesus help me S i cannot bring myself to lend actual words to that in case anyone hasn't seen it! ) is one that carries immense weight, because it's a very difficult choice and very grey area that has ramifications that haven't even been considered yet.

also, eternals brought about another debate that's easier to take because it's fictional, but it's also not so far from comprehension, either. the group of eternals all end up debating whether or not to allow the emergence to take place. on one hand, the entity that emerges from earth will go on to create countless planets and species, and so is it really okay to sacrifice all of that for One Planet?? but the other argument is one that compels the entire movie and drives the plot; ajak literally dies over her insistence that earth carries immense power as a result of the last twenty years, that the people are spirited and strong and deserve to continue the lives they fought so passionately to have all along. in the end, of course, earth survives. but the arguments resonate. the days of purple aliens wanting to kill half the universe are gone. and now we have these more complex matters to debate. i think civil war attempted to have a debate going on too, but it's something spectacular when you leave the theatre wondering if you even know if they did the right thing or not!

i feel like that one mightn't necessarily be a trope, but that's okay! i definitely have more favorites but my brain is just blue screening tonight! so yeah, i'm much more invested in character development as opposed to plots lately. like a lot of people can get very caught up about plots, but i think the characters are vastly more interesting!

god, i rambled quite a bit! thank you for asking this question, my lovely friend!! what are your favorite tropes??

[livvyofthelake]

special edition show i haven't really seen you complain and/or talk about in a while: 7 8 & 12 for julie&the phantoms, shadow and bone and the wilds

oof the wilds….. that was an ERA fr. also what are you TALKING about including shadow and bone as something i haven’t talked about in a while….. i’m IN my alina era rn…… well ok let’s do this

7) what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

for julie i don’t hate anyone but lowkey i kinda hate those boys on the grounds of the fact that before i watched the show every post i had seen about it was ONLY about the boys and i didn’t even know who julie was or what she looked like because no one ever talked about her despite her being THE TITULAR CHARACTER like come on besties… for shadow and bone i’m not involved in fandom for that but from what i remember seeing back when season one came out and people were talking about it was that there was SO MUCH discourse about kirigan/aleksander/the darkling whatever the FUCK i’m supposed to call that man. well that didn’t make me hate the character but it DID make me realize that fandom was annoying as hell. the wilds… idk i don’t think i hate any fan favorites in the wilds. i think some people went too hard for shelby and toni tho. oh actually and kirin. yes i know i participated in loving that guy. i’m different tho. i’m never the problem haven’t you heard….

8) common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

i don’t think i know any fandom opinions about julie i’ve never really engaged with that. i assume though that there are people that ship luke and reggie and call julie a lesbian to push her out of the way. so that. no i don’t know that, i don’t know what i’m talking about I’ve just been around the block and i assume that’s a thing people in fandom do/did. shadow and bone…. well i think discoursing about whatever the hell his name is is dumb. i haven’t read the books yet but he’s well written enough in the show that there’s clear nuance we don’t have to do black and white morality discourse idk. as for the wilds…. when people were arguing about who we should ship for a potential third season and everyone was like omg martha and bo!! like. 😐 just say you want my girl martha to die goddamn. also true about every martha ship people tried to push. all of them would have been bad sorry. except maybe one. which i won’t say. unless….

12) the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

well. JULIE. oh my god why does no one talk about julie ever it’s ridiculous she is the TITULAR CHARACTER…. like was i just in an insane bubble at that time or something?? well i still never see anyone talk about julie when they talk about the show so idk. idk but i love julie a lot she’s my favorite :) this is also true for alina but i’m definitely in a bubble for that one. hm idk what the widely disliked in fandom characters are in shadow and bone so i can’t really speak on this one. do people hate mal? i’m just guessing that based on his gale-ism, there’s probably people that hate him right? well EYE think he’s neat, he’s alina’s best friend, they’ve been there for each other nearly all their lives…. he’s a brave man but deep down he’d rather be taming horses…. i like him!!! and the wilds. well. i liked raf, nobody else liked raf, he had that problematic swag and those big brown eyes he was like a pathetic little lamb to me idk. also leah but i think people warmed up to leah in s2, more people didn’t like her in s1. so like we won on the leah front fr!!

[memento-morri-writes]

SoC is such a good book tho!!! I could NEVER make my family read it so kudos to you!! The relationships in between the characters are elite imo and the complexity of them made me really happy when I read it!

have you watched Shadow and Bone on Netflix?? if so what did you think of the mashup in between SoC and S&B??

if you don't mind me rambling, rn I'm reading The Atlas Six which if you don't know is about six of the best magicians (called medeians in the book) of the world and how they are selected to pass a bunch of trials for two years, the prize being working in the archives of the Alexandria's Society! But the catch is that only five of them will be admitted and the sixth one simply has to die for not being selected

I have only read a couple more of a hundred pages but so far I'm loving it! It's packed with action and you have povs of the six of them which always makes a book better imo

- @/ink-fireplace-coffee

Carmen, Carmen, Carmen!!! <3333

The Atlas Six is literally the very next book in my TBR, ajdkasjdak. I'm excited about it!! I've heard good stuff about it, and your endorsement makes me even more eager to read it!! I just have to finish A Darker Shade of Magic first.

Also, about SoC. I made my entire family read it, ajsdkakjdsa. My mom read it, then for some absurd reason waited like 4 months to read CK, even though I was basically following her around with a copy begging her to. That pissed me off.

My sister didn't read it, but that's because she's convinced that if she takes a break and reads ONE book in English, she will die and forget everything she's ever learned in 13 years of taking Spanish... 🙄 I'll make her read it one day.

Stuff about S&B Netflix under the cut, because I have Too Much To Say.

As for S&B, the TV Show, I'm not really a fan. Controversial, but I am a stickler for things being accurate to the books as possible. Honestly, I haven't even finished the show. I'm only about halfway through. Part of the problem is that I've never cared one bit about Alina or Mal. The only character I cared about in the original trilogy was Nikolai, lmao. Also, this is really stupid, but I think a lot of people fell in love with the Darkling, partly because he's played by a conventionally attractive man, ajdkjas.

RANT INCOMING

I could go on for hours about how you're supposed to follow Alina's path: which is confusion > idolization > attraction > HATRED, but people get stuck on the idolizing him and thinking he's hot (I mean, yes, he's described as attractive, and Ben Barnes is good-looking enough). But he's so very, very manipulative and clearly abusive and it terrifies me how many people genuinely ship him with Alina. I know that wasn't Ms. Bardugo's point at all, but people will do what they want, I guess.

P.S. - I do know that also the Darkling is supposed to be human, not an evil monolith. He's supposed to be scary partly because you can sympathize with him and feel things about him. But that doesn't erase his toxic and abusive nature. (or at least it shouldn't if your braincells are working.)

OKAY, RANT OVER.

Basically, I wish they hadn't tried to smash two stories into one. I know that the ending of season one sets up well for the actual canon SoC plot, but they've already used so many of the SoC plot points (Kaz selling his crow club shares, etc.) that it would just feel repetitive to do them again. So, I'm a little conflicted.

Okay, sorry, you stumbled into something I have very strong feelings about, ajasjdks. I apologize.

[multiples-fandomswontkillme]

~Metal Family headcanons~

These are like my... general hcs)? which means I didn't include my main hc that Glam, Ches and Vicky are polyamorous, married and started dating after Glam met Vicky, and absolutely everything that implies for the kids and the relationships between each member of the fam. Maybe I'll make a separate post for that or maybe not! Who knows lkfwnlfqnf

Glam

Bisexual

Glam has constant nightmares and ocasional night terrors ever since he ran away home and is an active sleep walker. Ches helped him through the worse ones when they were younger, and learned how to deal with them, always preferring not to wake him up but being with him until the episode passed. Vicky has learned how to deal with them, though she normally asks Ches for advice with it cuz she comes out short sometimes.

He has PTSD. I bet it's diagnosed too, he takes medication and goes to therapy, it doesn't mean he still doesn't have his bad days anyway. He's trying to get better.

Glam has talked to Vicky about his past, his father and his family. This is a direct contradiction of Alina's confirmation that Glam doesn't talk about it with anyone but man FUCK THAT. We love good communication in this house, Vicky tries her best to help him, but there's only so much she can do to help.

Glam enjoys gardening, cooking and making models, he also likes doing his make up, painting his nails and dressing up in fancy, extravagant clothes even if he has nowhere important to go.

He likes taking care of everyone's hair, and constantly helps Vicky brush her hair cuz there's so much of it, Dee when he gets stressed over how tangled it can get, buys Ches hair products so he actually takes care of it, and chases Heavy so the kid actually washes, untangles and brushes his hair.

This one is kind of weird, but I refuse to think any adult in the family is unarmed at any time. Glam owns a taser and pepper spray. They're bright pink and sparkly.

This man cried his eyes out while watching Coco. He's hell to watch movies with cuz he talks and predicts what's gonna happen during the movie, judges them with scores at the end and all.

Vicky

Also bisexual!

Vicky's the one who does everyone's laundry most of the time. She prefers it that way since she's the only one that knows how to wash their black clothes so the colors stay vibrant. (This is based on my gf shaming everyone but Vicky cuz their black clothes always look so muted and almost gray, but Vicky's whole outfit is always the same vibrant black colors, so we decided that neither Glam or the kids know how to wash dark clothes)

She has anger issues, if it isn't obvious. I think she also has PTSD, mainly survivor's guilt due to her surviving the accident her brother died in. She blames herself and cannot bear to talk about it, in some sort of deep denial. If she can't remember, it can't hurt as much, right?

She has scars on the right side of her back and her hip, from the road rash she got on her brother's accident, she never treated it due to grief and it scarred badly. Apart from that, the scar of the caesarean section from Heavy's birth. She doesn't really mind both of them, they happened, nothing to do about them.

She likes watching boxing competitions, brawling matches and motorcycle repairing on TV. Loves doing BBQ's and going to the pool. Also an enjoyer of teasing her kids, kissing and loving her husband at random times, spending time drinking and bonding with Ches and bragging about her family and punching anyone who thinks they're not that cool.

Not particularly a fan of make up, skirts and dresses or any traditionally femenine-perceived stuff. But has been making exceptions due to Glam and Ches being unashamed of being seen as femenine, and actually rocking the looks. The internalized misogyny is kind of slowly dissapearing.

Apart from the guns she carries in each arm (I mean her biceps, have you looked at the size of those?? She strong) she has brass knuckles on her at all times. Glam gifts her new ones sometimes, she loves having multiple choices to punch people teeth in.

Loves horror, thrillers and action movies. Falls asleep during rom-coms and dramas. Ironically, loves gossip and talking shit about people. Enjoys hearing Ches talks about the gossip going on in the nursery home even if she doesn't know who the hell he's talking about.

Rest of the family under the cut!

Heavy

Heavy is a trans boy! He doesn't know his sexuality yet though, he's still figuring himself out. When he's older, i think he definitely dated some men but had better luck with girls.

Heavy has had innocent crushes on some girls on his class before, but they never turn into anything more cuz he's not the best at expressing himself. He follows the bother-the-girl-to-death-until-she-hates-you gimmick, and unsurprisingly, it doesn't work.

I'm sorry to break this to u but Heavy totally had an among us phase, and uses so much reddit and twitch slang... You know he does.

Likes bullying and teasing his brother to death. You know that when Dee had his first romance, Heavy was ALL up in his business being a tease and a bad attempt at a wingman. He means well tho.

He's not squeamish at all. Also has great pain resistance. This kid has picked cockroaches with his bare hands and loves cats, of course the cats have scratched him. He's tough!

Grows up to be the charming himbo he was always destined to be.

Dee

I hc him as demisexual. Kind of inherited his dad's tastes for the takes no crap, intimidating but pretty kind of people.

Can't cook. He tries but he can only do basics like rice, cereal, chicken nuggets or eggs. Complicated meals always burn or don't taste like anything at all. It drives him crazy.

Dee was a quiet and very well behaved toddler before Heavy was born. He never threw tantrums or got whims. After Heavy was born though, and despite the fact he understood his brother was small and needed special care, he started craving attention often and cried and got mad at little things. Typical jealousy of the oldest sibling.

The first time Dee fell in love with someone, he didn't recognize it was love at first. He just thought his interest on the person was born out of curiosity and aesthetic attraction, but as soon as he realized he seeked validation and companionship, that he liked seeing them smile, that he wanted to protect them, that he yearned for more time alone with them and that he wanted more than what just a simple friendship implied, it was an instant 'oh hell no'. He wanted those feelings to get the hell away, but unfortunately, they were there to stay.

Canonically likes MLP, psychological and horror anime like Death note and Hellsing, so I'm deciding he also watched Death Parade, had a FNAF phase, is very into The Walten Files. This guy enjoys any kind of specially dark ARG's and knows a ton of lore of real crime, unsolved cases, ghost appearances and other stuff. Doesn't believe in the supernatural, but sure is entertained by it.

He's a mess at romance. Flirting? His attempts at compliments are hardly flattering. Giving gifts? The best he can manage is jewelry and you can kind of tell he asked his dad for help. Dates? He's so nervous he's silent for most of it, but begins getting comfortable and having fun if his partner really knows how to get him down from his negativity cloud.

Ches

Pansexual.

He's very good with kids. He has the patience of a saint and he's laid-back, chill and fun but still is an authority figure who knows how to put limits. Sure, he's gonna let the kids light up a house on fire BUT hey, now they know everything about fire precautions, burns and how to treat them AND how to get away with arson. What an educational evening, am I right?

Due to certain info from the "Goodbye" official comic, I headcanon Ches as depressed. I don't want to elaborate a lot 'cuz of spoilers, but... God, everything related to his mom fucking hurts, man. How did he deal with all that?

Ches has been Dee and Heavy's babysitter so many times he cannot count them with all his fingers. He learned how to put those kids to sleep almost immediately (Sing Bon Jovi's "This ain't a love song" and any cheesy love song in a slow lullaby style and they're out), which movie were their favorite as kids (Heavy loved 'Monsters Inc.' and Dee never looked away during 'Meet the Robinsons'), how to console them after nightmares (Heavy needed reassurance, sweet words, and to be with someone until he fell asleep again. Dee just had to be tucked in, get his nightlight turned on and kissed in the forehead). He practically raised those kids along with Vicky and Glam.

More than once, Dee and Heavy have slipped and called Ches "Dad". Ches immediately gets his shit eating grin on and answers "Yes, son?" and does a couple of dad jokes just to mess and embarrass them. He's actually very flattered and surprised at how proud of himself he is for being a father figure to both kids.

Has a scar on the left side of his forehead due to a bottle his mom threw at him when he was younger, around the time he met Glam. He hates the scar with passion, it's a permanent reminder of the fact she never cared, that's why he always keeps it covered with his headband. Gets sad about it sometimes.

Ches likes to spend his time with a group of grannies of the nearby nursing home. He genuinely considers them his friends and gossips and hangs out with all of them on weekends. Bingo, billiards, walks in the park, soap opera marathons, you name it. I even designed them, gave them names and backstories... God, i just love the concept too much. I'll make some art about Ches and his granny gang FOR SURE, you're NOT ready for them.

Carries a pocket knife on him at all times. This man grew up on a bad neighborhood and absolutely knows how to defend himself, he can be intimidating when he wants to be and will pose a threat if needed. He's fucking terrifying when genuinely mad. Just cause he looks harmless doesn't mean he is, darling.

That would be all!

[herorps]

shadow and bone and racism

shadow and bone just came out so i can now finally break my silence bc holy shit do they go ham on the racism and me being me, i just have to tell you all about it. possible spoilers and triggers for anti-asian racism and microaggressions.

to preface, i was very privileged to receive a screener for the entire first season last month and i was actually excited to watch it bc i have friends who love the books and the show piqued my interest since it was announced. and i also have to say that i never read the books and i probably never will ( tho i’ve been told i would like soc ) but i did like the show overall. 

i think sab is a good adaptation and that the fans will like this show. i thoroughly enjoyed it and as someone who had very little to almost no knowledge about the books, i didn’t have trouble keeping up with the fantastical world. 

however that doesn’t mean i can’t be critical of it. 

i think the show can actually benefit from people being critical about it because so far, it feels like they took a very tone deaf direction and ran a marathon with it. 

what i’m talking about, is alina starkov being half-shu. 

now, i said before that my interest was piqued for this show when it was announced and one of the major reasons is the casting of biracial actress, jessie mei li, in the role of alina starkov. i can’t tell you how happy i was to see that a half-chinese actress was cast as the lead in a series based on such a beloved ip, especially since the creators of the show consciously changed alina’s ethnicity to be half-shu before casting calls were even sent out. ( for those of you who are also non-book readers, shu is the race of people from the country, shu han, and is based off primarily mongolian and chinese cultures ) 

so i was endeared with the idea that this character, that is coded white, was deliberately changed to be coded asian ( and coded mixed race to boot ) because the producers wanted to include diversity into the show. i commend that, i love that, i support that. but i believe the way they handled it, shouldn’t have been the way they handled it. and it’s because alina’s race is constantly brought up. 

obviously of course race is going to be brought up at some point. alina in the show is surrounded by white people when we first see her, and her home country of ravka does have a hostile history with shu han----i get it. racism is going to play a part in alina’s story. but it doesn’t necessarily need to go so far as to constantly remind the audience that she is shu in almost every interaction she has with someone she meets. 

and that’s a big part of the issue, is that nearly everyone she meets will bring up the fact that she’s part-shu. and a lot of the time, it’s said with hostility. now i’m not exactly sure if i’m just being particularly sensitive because of certain recent events, but the anti-asian racism hits differently these days. idk. 

because that’s what it is, at the end of the day. it’s racism. alina is often the target of very hostile racism and it seems to mainly be directed at her character and her character only. 

and honestly, on a surface level it makes sense, i sort of understand what the producers are trying to do. ravka has a turbulent history with shu han and were involved in wars with them and they’re often seen as the enemy so obviously that would affect a shu-mixed person growing up in ravka, a very white country. but on a deeper level, it reminds me a lot of the anti-japanese sentiments during wwii. the production team even created a banner that i felt called back to those anti-japanese propaganda of that era. ( mind you it was shown multiple times, in main focus, and acknowledged by characters that were coded shu ) 

but on the other hand, they’ve done a considerable job to diversify at least the ethnic makeup of ravka. there are black and brown grisha at the school and there are people of different cultures ( noted by costuming, etc. ) in ketterdam and there’s even a shu-appearing trainer that teaches the grisha to fight. so my question is, why is this very hostile treatment primarily geared toward shu people and geared toward alina specifically? it just doesn’t make sense to me. 

and when i say it’s specifically geared toward alina, i mean that it’s very apparent that they’re targeting her specifically, because mal  ( played by a possibly mixed-race archie renaux ) is also coded to be of mixed shu blood. while it is not explicitly stated that mal is shu, it is heavily implied that he is mixed, but he is never subject to the treatment that alina is, and the only times he is subject to racism is when alina is also present. in scenes where we see alina and mal as kids, they are often both referred to as “mutts” or “half-breeds”. but when they are older, only alina is continuously called those things. 

this isn’t even touching the microaggressions she faces after she’s at grisha school and this one line that made my gut wrench so viscerally i had to pause the episode and replay the part so i could confirm what i heard. [ episode 3 spoiler warning ] i’m trying to avoid posting screenshots or from spoiling parts of the show but there’s a scene where alina is being cleaned up and made presentable by servants and one of them says “I’d start by making her eyes less Shu.” [ end episode 3 spoiler ] i don’t think i have to explain to anyone how offensive that is. and i understand that the intention was to show how racist this servant is, that the entire point of of this weird racism plot is to show how the people of ravka can be racist and ignorant, but to have that line be written by a white writer, approved by a white showrunner and said by a white character to the face of an asian actor/character feels very tactless. it feels like another antagonist alina has to go against is racism itself. 

what also turns me off about this scene is that jessie mei li revealed that this scene is what actresses had to audition with. “...the sides that they sent for the audition, like Alina is talking to Genya and they’re talking about her eyes and they’re talking about her Shu ancestry.” having actresses of mixed-asian ancestry come in and act out that scene for white producers doesn’t really sit right with me. and i know that there’s an argument to be had about how it’s important to show the minutia of what it’s like to be ethnic in a world ruled by white supremacy and that it’s important to show how alina’s race affects her story, but i don’t think that going this far is necessary to the development of plot or character. 

and i don’t personally know jml, i don’t know how she feels about the show apart from what she’s probably briefed to talk about in interviews, but it is perfectly valid for me to feel iffy about the microaggressions while she feels that it’s necessary for character development ( again, this is just an example, i have no clue what she thinks of the racism ). our experiences are different, our upbringings are different, but we’re both happy to see representation and i’m happy that she’s happy to see an actual mixed-chinese character on screen as the lead. 

i’m glad that the producers were open to diversity and were open to making the lead a person of color, but it’s things like the treatment of shu characters and exchanges like “Tell her...Oh, I don’t know...good morning.” “I don’t actually speak Shu.” and “I didn’t know the Zemeni had such talent.” “She’s Suli.”  ( zemeni is a race of “dark-skinned” people and suli are coded south asian/mena/wena so this exchange is just white people mixing the brown people up )  that remind me the majority of the writers and producers are white. 

now i’m not saying that you should boycott the show or that this show is the most problematic thing to ever grace my retinas, because i really enjoyed watching it and i want to see what season 2 has in store ( more crows content please ). but, i want you all to please keep all of this in mind when you watch the series and think critically of what kinds of unconscious biases these producers had. you’re allowed to have nuanced opinions, you’re allowed to be critical of the media you enjoy so long as you understand where some people’s criticisms are coming from---where my criticisms are coming from. i just hope in future seasons the treatment of alina gets better and that she actually learns to love her shu side because otherwise it’s just going to be problematic as the show continues. 

[allegra-writes]

How about Billy Russo x Alina Starkov tho? xD

Oh, babe, don't threaten me with a good time 😘

"The Pretender"

Billy Russo x Alina Starkov

SAB & The Punisher crossover

NSFW

Warnings: Smut

MY MASTERLIST | BUY ME A COFFEE

Billy Russo was in heaven, he was convinced of it. What was more probable, after all? That his former best friend Frank Castle had killed him back on that carrousel and he was currently in some kind of glorious afterlife, or that he had been somehow pulled from under The Punisher's fists into a magical kingdom where he was being spoiled and treated like royalty, literally worshipped by the people? Where he was given a palace and a title, and even a bride, another pretender just like him. And all that was asked of him in return, was to use another man's name, let himself be paraded around and perform some parlor tricks with smoke bombs so dark they could turn the afternoon sun into midnight.

"Billy... Please"

Yeah, Billy was definitely in heaven, he thought, as his sankta moved above him, riding his cock like she was meant for it, meant for him, a tight fit, almost too tight, squeezing him just right, just this side of being overwhelming.

It had been almost embarrassingly easy to steal her away from her so called husband, a pathetic boy that obviously had no idea how to take care of the fiery, wild thing that was Alina. All he had had to do was sneak into her chamber before what was supposed to be their fake wedding and fall to his knees in front of her, bunch her white dress up to her hips and show her what truly worship really looked like, for her to forget everything about her boring cottage core life with the stupid kid that had tried to stifle her fire and turn her into a brainwashed country mother hen.

He had protested, of course, thrown a tantrum like the immature brat he was, once he realized Alina wouldn't be coming back to his guest chambers in the Grand Palace after the reception was over. That Alina was, in fact, never going to be returned to him. Oh, how he had enjoyed kicking the boy's ass, breaking his ribs and his nose. How he had delighted in the fear in his eyes when the tracker had realized he had miscalculated, that Billy might not be the Darkling, but he was just as dangerous.

"I want you to understand" He had hissed at the boy he had pinned to the wall, concealed knife biting into his neck, "that the only reason I'm letting you live, is because when my wife weeps tonight, it will be for my cock, and not over the corpse of her pitiful ex-husband. But fuck with me again, and I promise you, you will beg me for death before I'm done with you"

He had left the palace the next day. Billy had watch him leave fucking his Alina against the window.

"Billy..." Alina whined, bringing him back to the present, to the delicious task at hand. He sat up, gathering his wife into his arms, gasping at the feeling of her skin rubbing against his pebbled nipples.

"What do you need baby?" He cooed, hands at her hips, bringing her down harder onto his cock, "Are you getting tired? Do you need daddy to fuck you?" He punctuated his words thrusting his hips up, tearing a moan from her pretty mouth.

"Yes... Please"

"Yeah, you need it, don't you? Cause no one can fuck you better than daddy, am I right? Not even yourself..."

Alina nodded frantically, staring down at him with her gorgeous brown eyes glassy from pleasure, bottom lip sticking out in a porno movie worthy pout, and it was all it took for Billy to snap, turning them around until she was the one on her back. He grabbed a hold of her right knee, lifting it to wrap her leg around his hip, opening her up to him, before starting to thrust into her cunt with abandon, settings an unforgiving pace.

"Yes! Yes! Just like that... Fuck me harder"

Billy's eyes rolled inside his skull.

"My dirty little girl... You gonna be the death of me..."

Alina wasn't listening, biting into his shoulder to drown her own screams, sharp little teeth almost breaking his skin, sending shocks of electricity straight to Billy's cock.

"Shit!" He cursed. He was close, so fucking close. But he needed to be closer, deeper, bury himself inside the silky wet heat engulfing his dick as far as it would go. Using the hand not busy bracing his weight above his wife to grab a handful of an ass cheek, he lifted her pelvis from the mattress, changing the angle.

And his Alina must have liked that, he must have hit the right spot inside her, cause all of a sudden she was trashing her head from side to side on the pillows, delectable, tiny pussy pulsing and spasming around him and it was all he could do before she was dragging him over the edge with him, walls clasping him almost painfully, milking him for everything he was good.

Billy collapsed above her, but Alina didn't seem to mind, not when he was prolonging both their orgasms by rutting into her, pelvic bone rubbing against her clit. Clumsily, they tried to kiss but only succeeded in moaning into each others open mouths, and then they were chuckling, giggling, high on dopamine and on eachother and on something stronger none of them dared to call by its name yet.

Soon as he felt like he could move his legs again, Billy tried to extract himself from the former sun summoner's surprisingly strong embrace.

"Where are you going?" She complained, tightening her arms around his neck.

"To get a towel to clean you up..."

Alina shook her head,

"Later. Don't go yet... I want you inside me a little while longer"

Billy swore his bones had melted, but he pretended to sigh,

"Let the record state that I tried to be a gentleman..."

Alina snorted,

"I doubt gentlemen fuck like that"

He had to bark a laugh at that,

"Well, I don't think saints suck cock as good as you do"

Alina's cheeks turned an adorable shade of red, but she shrugged, affecting nonchalance.

"Sol Koroleva has many skills..."

Billy's face fell at hearing the title.

"Yeah, about her..." He hesitated but ultimately decided to be honest, "Nikolai and I had an interesting talk today..."

"About?" Alina urged, softly.

"About children. Apparently, the cult of the starless saint is brewing trouble again, claiming Sol Koroleva has me prisoner amongst other various bullshit"

Alina made a face. They were the reason she had to "come back from the dead" and they had to use merzost to bring Billy into their world in the first place. Well, they and the cult of Sankta Alina. Nikolai's first years or ruling hadn't been easy and Zoya had it even harder, social discontent and religious fanaticism made for a very volatile cocktail and the triumvirate plus Alina had to come up with a plan, fast, before someone went from talking to doing and attempted a coup. Bringing back the real Aleksander was, of course, out of the question, but Billy was charismatic in the same way he had been, and with their wedding and admittance in the Dragon queen's court, they had not only discouraged coup attempts but they had also gained Zoya the support of their numerous worshipers.

The fact that Fjerda and Shu-han had been terrified enough by the "miracle" of Ravka's newest martyrs coming back to life to sign a cease to the fire was just the icing on top of the cake.

"What does any of that have to do with children?" Alina frowned, genuinely confused

"Nikolai seems to think if I was to knock you up, it would prove the bastards that I enjoy our married life..."

Alina felt her jaw hit the ground.

"That's ridiculous!"

"I know"

"I won't bring a child into this world as a-... a-... A Political statement or a plot or-"

"I know"

"Well, what did you tell him?"

"I told Nikolai that we would make more public appearances" something dark and menacing flashed through Billy's eyes, "but that you're not a fucking broodmare"

Billy knew he didn't imagine the relief in his Alina's eyes, he was an orphan just like her, after all. He knew the only reason she would ever even consider to bring a child into this world would be out of the purest, deepest, most all consuming of loves, and only when she was ready, and she could give them the world they deserved to grow up safe and happy.

And so far? In a world of complots and war and danger, and the risk of any child of hers being grisha, he knew Ravka was not that world.

So once again, he vowed to himself, he would protect Alina the way no one had protected her before: That he would protect her right to choose, her freedom, her fire. That he would never again let her become the shell of a girl he had first met, the one screaming at the top of her lungs in the middle of a crowded room yet no one but him seemed to be able to hear.

So far, Billy had gone along with the dragon queen and her pirate king's plans, because their interests had aligned with his. But if they ever tried to make, coerce or even convince her to do something she didn't want, well... He knew grisha were hard to kill, but he had always loved a good challenge.

After all, the crown would look way better on Sol Koroleva than it did on Sankta Zoya...