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cuffmeinblack · 1 year

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Out of bounds

Part 2 | Part 3 | ao3 link for all chapters

Garreth Weasley x gn!reader

Tags: fluff | light smut | first kiss | sexual tension | general shenanigans 3.5k words

Summary: You agree to help Garreth sneak into his aunt's chambers to retrieve some confiscated notes. In an effort to spend more time with him, you ask him to come with you.

A/n: Later parts will be f!reader, but for now it reads as gender neutral. Also, surprise appearance by @ask-deek. Screenshot credit: @deathlysallows

Pink. Your potion was pink, when it should have been a soft mauve. If you’d spent more time accurately measuring your potion ingredients instead of staring at the back of your housemate’s head you might have produced a better result. You thought perhaps it could be salvaged yet, scraping a little more shrivelfig off of your chopping board and throwing it into your cauldron. You were so engrossed in the steadily paling mixture that you hadn’t noticed the presence beside you.

"You're good at being sneaky," Garreth said.

You stirred your potion, counting the clockwise rotations before responding whilst trying to suppress the blush creeping up your neck.

"Am I?"

"Well you did get me that fwooper feather. And the dried billywigs. Back in fifth year, remember?"

"I remember, and you're not wrong. Why?" you asked, cocking your eyebrow.

"Could I borrow your services once again?" he asked, leaning against the table.

"What's in it for me?"

"Erm, well I'm sure I'll think of something," he mumbled.

You could certainly think of a few things Garreth could do to you that would repay the debt ten times over, but now wasn't the time to bring up your lewd fantasies. You made a show of sighing in concession before replying.

"What do you need me to do?"

Garreth gave a furtive glance over to Professor Sharp who was limping over to his store room, moving closer to you and lowering his voice. Your breath caught in your chest as he moved, your eyes running over his freckled face.

"My aunt confiscated some very important notes of mine and I need them back if I'm ever to finish my latest brew," he whispered.

"You want me to steal something from the deputy headmistress?" you asked with a frown.

"Well, yes, I suppose so. I think they're in her chambers…"

"You're not serious. Garreth!" you said far too loudly, glancing around to check nobody had heard your exclamation.

"Please."

You sighed and looked into his brilliant green eyes, annoyed that apparently you couldn't bring yourself to say no to him.

"Fine, but my payment is you coming with me," you said, returning to your chopping board.

"Wh…what?"

"You heard me. I'll get you in there and back out. Teach you what I know, maybe then you can do the dirty work yourself next time."

A convincing argument, somewhat skillfully hiding your true motive—in honesty you just wanted the excuse to spend time with him alone, away from the prying eyes of your friends and classmates. You already spent much of your free time in each other's company but always with the presence of Natty or Leander. As much as you loved your fellow Gryffindors, you always hoped for just a moment with just Garreth.

"I…well, okay," he said with a mischievous glint in his eyes. "When shall we do it?"

"Tonight, whilst she's at dinner? I'll meet you outside the common room."

"Brilliant," he said, flashing you his widest smile, making your stomach flip over as he retreated to his own cauldron.

Your potion was on the brink of ruin as you swore and flicked your wand to lower the flame. Garreth was a distraction you could ill afford, and you’d just agreed to indulge your attraction by sneaking around the castle with him at night. You shook your head at your own stupidity whilst simultaneously feeling a giddiness wash over you, eager for your lessons to end.

The hours passed slowly as you waited in eager anticipation of your dinnertime excursion. With a bit of luck you'd be in and out of Professor Weasley's chambers within a few minutes and could be celebrating your victory sitting next to Garreth at the dinner table before long, perhaps even granting you a pat on the back or two. With a rumble in your stomach, you straightened your robes and gave yourself a quick peruse in the mirror before skipping down the stairs to the common room and passing through to the portrait entrance.

The shock of red hair greeted you as soon as you clambered through the tunnel into the hallway, your heart skipping a beat as you approached Garreth who was leaning against the wall, deep in thought. He always had a nervous energy about him, never staying still for long—his foot bounced on the ground until you came to his side, stilling as he caught your eye and flashed you a wide smile.

“Ready for our…excursion?” you asked.

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” he replied as you started walking.

"How are you at disillusionment?"

Garreth's mouth opened and shut silently as he cast you a sheepish look.

"Don't tell me you've never cast the charm?" you asked in surprise.

"Well, I've never really needed to," he replied. "I don't make a habit of sneaking into places I shouldn't."

"It can be useful. Really useful. Come on," you said.

Turning a corner in the astronomy tower, you came to a stop a short walk from the entrance to the trophy room and pulled out your wand, waiting for Garreth to do the same. Flicking your wand in the familiar spiral and muttering the incantation, your body shimmered and disappeared, leaving only a faint trace of your shape in the corridor.

"You're almost invisible," Garreth said, amazed.

He tentatively reached out and poked what you could only assume should have been your shoulder. Unfortunately, his aim wasn't particularly good on your translucent outline and his fingers gently prodded your neck instead. The touch was absolutely, definitely not meant to be intimate in any way, shape or form—but his warm, soft fingers brushing the skin below your ear sent shivers down your spine.

"Ah, sorry," he apologised, withdrawing his hand, a blush creeping onto his freckled cheeks.

"Get…get your wand out and try," you urged in a slightly strangled voice.

Garreth followed your instructions, tracing the wand movement elegantly and repeating the incantation. He flinched slightly before his body began to fade, flickering until his form resembled frosted glass.

"I wasn't quite prepared for that feeling," he chuckled.

"Oh, yes, it's cold isn't it? Like an egg being cracked on your head."

"Felt like a particularly cold flobberworm sliding down my neck."

You gave him an invisible smile and cleared your throat, readjusting your thoughts to the matter at hand.

"Come on, quietly now."

You crept silently down the corridor until you reached the towering spiral staircase that led all the way up to the headmaster's study. Professor Weasley's chambers were situated just below it, on the first floor. With careful steps, you climbed the staircase—not being able to see your own feet very well was disconcerting.

After a few minutes of slow creeping, you came to a stop outside of Professor Weasley's chambers, giving the door handle a wiggle on the off-chance she'd left it unlocked. No such luck—the door didn't budge. Drawing your wand, you pointed it just below the handle and muttered 'Alohomora', hoping your charm was powerful enough to open the lock. You let out a deep breath you hadn't realised you'd been holding as it clicked open.

Pushing the door open, you peered into the room, taking in the empty space with interest. You'd never been in here before—even when galavanting about the castle you tended to steer clear of your professors' living quarters.

Garreth followed close behind you as you slipped inside, dropping your disillusionment charm once you were satisfied you were completely alone.

"I don't believe we did it! Merlin, this is exhilarating, isn't it?" Garreth gasped.

Garreth dropped his own charm and his smiling face came shimmering back into view, his eyes already darting around the room in search of his notes.

"Breaking and entering? Yes, it is quite the thrill," you laughed.

Your gaze tore from the redhead to scan your surroundings, admiring the paintings and ornate furniture dotted around the room. The decoration felt familiar, not worlds away from the cosy Gryffindor common room with its dark woods and plush fabrics.

Garreth had wandered off to search the mahogany desk whilst you were drawn to a large metal box on top of a sideboard. The lid was gilded, a beautiful pattern of roses and thorns embossed on the top. With a delicate touch, you removed it, finding a collection of random objects.

One such object appeared to be humming—you could feel pulses of magic emanating from it, perhaps the reason you'd been drawn here in the first place. Your eyes darted at the rest of the contents until they fell on a stack of parchment.

"I think this is it," you said, pulling the papers from the box. "This is definitely your writing…what is this, Garreth?"

"Ah, just an experiment," he said evasively, crossing the room quickly and snatching the parchment from your hands. "Top secret, you know."

"Mhmm, is it likely to end with first years in the hospital wing?"

"That was…only one time. I didn't think about the reaction of…"

Garreth's hasty explanation was interrupted with a shuffle of footsteps and squeak from the door handle as both of you panicked and ducked behind the sofa. You pulled out your wand and screwed up your face in concentration, casting a non-verbal disillusionment charm which clearly wasn't as effective as your verbal incantation. You only hoped that the visitor wouldn't venture this far into the room.

Garreth had done the same, his shimmering form crouched next to you and leg pressed against your own. You couldn't tell who it was by just the footsteps but you heard a click-clack on the wooden floorboards that sounded like heeled shoes—most likely it was Professor Weasley returned early from dinner, and your stomach churned as you imagined the trouble you'd be in if you were caught in such a compromising position.

The moment you spent waiting seemed to drag on forever as the footfalls continued, until they finally receded. You heard the creak of hinges and thunk of the door closing, then another click of the lock. You realised you'd been clutching Garreth the whole time, your fingertips digging into his firm bicep. You loosened your grip as you steadied your breath, once again dropping your disillusionment charm.

"We need to get out of here in case she comes back," you whispered.

Garreth looked slightly paler than he had done only moments before as he nodded his agreement. He glanced down to your hand still circling his arm, a faint flicker of a smile playing on his lips until you withdrew your fingers, averting your gaze.

"Come on, then," you mumbled, crossing the room with your wand out.

A quick Alohomora should have had you out of there in no time, but the deafening silence that filled the room after you cast the charm sent a ripple of fear through your body.

"Oh, no."

"What? What's oh no?" Garreth's panicked voice whispered from behind you.

"Alohomora," you said clearly, paying extra attention to your wand movement.

The lock didn't even twitch, stubbornly staying shut with every subsequent attempt until you were red in the face and flustered beyond belief.

"What has she done?" you grumbled, prodding your wand at the metal as if it would simply fall apart by sheer force of will.

"What if she put an anti-unlocking charm on it?"

"Why would she do that?!" you exclaimed, far too loudly.

Garreth shushed you as your heart and mind raced and you began to pace the room, wondering how you'd ever escape the situation with your academic record unblemished. He ran his hands through his copper locks, his eyes flitting about the room.

You sighed, suddenly feeling weary, flinging yourself onto the sofa and staring at the door as if it had personally victimised you. Garreth followed, sitting to face you on the seat.

"Maybe there's another way out of here," he ventured.

"What, you think your aunt has a secret passage in her chambers?" you said, your words dripping with sarcasm.

"There's no need to be snarky," he replied with a frown.

"This was your idiotic idea, Garreth! Now we're stuck in here for Merlin knows how long..."

"She'll be back from dinner soon, don't worry."

"I don't believe I went along with this just to spend time with you," you said, exasperated.

You only realised what you'd admitted to when you noticed his eyes widen in your peripheral vision as he watched you.

"You did?"

You blushed and cleared your throat, throwing him a shy look to see his reaction. He was sitting with his legs crossed, grinning like an idiot. Damn his smile.

"No need to get cocky," you said with a poorly-concealed smirk.

"Why wouldn't I be, when the most beautiful person I know wants to spend time with me?" he replied, completely earnestly.

You let out an embarrassingly loud chuckle, your cheeks now burning. He was still watching you intently, leaning back on his hands and waiting for your reply. You weren't really sure if you could form a coherent sentence, especially since your mind had wandered to some particularly dirty places as you scanned his pose and wondered what his reaction would be if you simply sat in his lap.

You bit your lip nervously and shuffled on the seat, hoping for a distraction. It wasn't the one you'd expected, but the one you hoped for, in the form of Garreth's hand on your knee. A tentative touch as he watched you, stirring something in you that you could no longer ignore.

You placed your hand on top of his and gave him a small smile as his eyes flicked to your lips, his head giving the slightest movement forward in his intention to kiss you. You waited, but he seemed to hesitate, so it was up to you to close the gap, pressing your lips to his as he inhaled sharply in surprise.

The moment he reciprocated, tilting his head and parting his lips for yours, a swarm of excitable butterflies erupted in your stomach. Your mouths slotted perfectly together like a puzzle—warm, soft and oh…wet, as his tongue unexpectedly ran over your lower lip. You tried to suppress the whimper that formed in your throat, but it spilled out, captured by his parted lips.

Garreth inhaled sharply, his hands twitching next to him. Perhaps his restraint was in part due to nerves, or the fact you were kissing on the sofa in his aunt's chambers, but it crumbled as soon as your tongues slid over each other. His grip was strong, his fingers encircling your waist and practically pulling you into his lap.

You had no intention of resisting—his lap was too inviting. You let him guide you towards him as your lips remained fused, settling onto his thighs with a soft sigh. His hair was just ripe for pulling as you ran your fingers through the strands, the smell of cinders and something distinctly sweet filling your nostrils.

Toffee? Caramel?

You hummed as your mind hazily tried to identify the scent, your lips curling slightly into a smile as you kissed him.

Whilst you explored each other's mouths and hands wandered, Garreth made his appreciation known with soft, low moans. It shouldn't have surprised you that he was as vocal as when he was chatting incessantly with his friends, but what was coming out of his mouth now was nothing short of deeply erotic. Each sound brought forth something desperate in you.

Years of watching him, wanting him, whilst ignoring the racing of your heart and churning of your stomach, had culminated in this moment. The tension finally exploded into unbridled enthusiasm for each other's embraces. You hadn't considered he'd felt the same, but his passionate kiss gave you all the information you needed to know.

Your breath grew heavier as his tongue caressed your own, slow but firmly decisive with no hint of his previous restraint. He was everything you'd ever imagined and more, every fantasy you'd had paled in comparison to his very real touch.

His hands had moved from your waist to somewhere much lower—a firm grip pulling you closer against his lap, his hips digging into your thighs. The unmistakeably hard bulge in his trousers pressed against you and your hips instinctively rolled against him, teasing a delicious groan from his mouth.

"Oh," you gasped.

Your hands were still tangled in his hair, gently massaging and tugging with every grazing of your lips when a loud crack filled the room. Your lips broke apart, eyes bulging in fear as you both looked for the source of the noise.

"Mister Garreth!" a voice squeaked from somewhere behind the sofa.

You clambered off of Garreth as quickly as you could as you saw a pair of huge eyes peering up at you.

"Deek!" you all but shouted at the elf.

You looked at Garreth in shock, taking in his dishevelled appearance and wondering what you yourself looked like. His skin was flushed under his numerous freckles, down his neck and tingeing his ears. You suppressed the urge to flatten his hair that you'd dislodged as you pulled your gaze back to the house elf.

"Deek thinks you shouldn't be in here," he said with a small hint of amusement.

"Please, Deek, please don't tell my aunt about this. I was just trying to get something back that belongs to me," Garreth pleaded, awkwardly adjusting his robes to cover his legs.

"Deek has seen a lot of things in his time at Hogwarts but students canoodling in a professor's chambers is a new one," he said, rocking back and forth on his tiny feet, his hands clasped behind him.

"I was just trying to help Garreth, we didn't meant to…"

"Deek won't tell Professor Weasley, but you must put back what you took."

You sighed and clutched Garreth's arm again. He looked slightly dejected and you couldn't help but roll your eyes—of course he would be focused on his lost notes rather than averting serious punishment.

"Where are they?" you asked.

Garreth reluctantly groped around in his robes and pulled out the now crumpled parchment, smoothing out the creases as best as he could and handing them to you. You pointed your wand at it as both Deek and Garreth watched you with interest.

"Geminio."

The parchment rustled and another piece of paper popped out on top of it—a perfect copy of the notes below. Garreth's mouth dropped open and broke into a grin, his glittering eyes meeting yours.

"Have I told you that I love you lately?"

You laughed and returned his smile as blood rushed to your cheeks, your skin already burning. Your attention was diverted when Deek snatched a copy of the parchment from your hands and shuffled over to the box you'd found it in, tucking it inside and closing the lid with a little pat.

"Hold Deek's hands and Deek will take you back to Gryffindor tower," he said, his arms already outstretched.

With a raised eyebrow at Garreth, you both took one of the elf's tiny hands and braced yourselves before disappearing with another loud crack. The next sight you saw was the portrait of the fat lady, who jumped and gawped at you, apparently not expecting to see two students apparate in front of her with a house elf.

"That was much more comfortable than human apparition," you remarked.

"Of course. Deek thinks elf magic is much too undervalued by wizarding kind," he said simply.

"Right, well, thanks again Deek. We promise not to get anymore trouble," Garreth said.

"Oh, Deek very much doubts that. Until next time," he said, snapping his fingers and disappearing.

You couldn't help the laugh that came out of your mouth as you met Garreth's eyes and the fat lady tutted behind you. By the time you'd both controlled your laughter, the portrait looked incredibly unimpressed, her mouth forming a hard line as she looked down at you.

"Password?" she huffed.

"Conjunctio."

The portrait swung open in front of you and you clambered through the cramped hole in the wall, sighing with relief as you stepped into the safety of Gryffindor common room. Most people were still at dinner, with only a smattering of students occupying the space and paying you no mind.

You looked back to find Garreth standing just next to the door, running a hand through his hair and down the back of his neck and looking slightly awkward. You didn't like the look he was giving you, or avoiding giving you.

"So...Merlin…I, uh…sorry."

"Sorry for what?" you asked, your heart racing.

Did he regret what had happened? Of course the whole event has been a fiasco, but you couldn't bear to think that he'd deemed what had occurred between the two of you a mistake.

"Well I really ought to have taken you on a date before…that," he said.

"Oh. Do you want to take me on a date?"

"Of course I do," he said with a smile.

"Well, I'd love to go with you," you replied.

Garreth's smile widened into an excitable grin, his eyes full of ideas and possibilities. If your date was half as eventful as your evening had been, you were in for a wild ride.

#garreth weasley #garreth weasley x reader #garreth weasley x you #garreth weasley fanfiction

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idkbecks · 2 years

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have you seen the whole thing with breezy's mom saying ryan was fired for stealing?? i don't want to be sure of anything without confirmation from the boys themselves but uhh it's kind of upsetting combined with everything else going on. if you're comfortable putting this on your blog especially with these being all we have for now, can i ask for your thoughts?

actually i lied, i'll talk about it bc this brings up a good point. i know some people aren't really seeing the original screenshot and are just seeing people talk about the original.

so we don't know anything except three things breezys mom said (first one is from "The iDKHOW Search Party - Fan Group" on Facebook, then the second two are just from her Twitter) which are here:

and then that's kind of it. i mean it seems like it would be weird if this was inaccurate since it's coming from breezy's mom and considering it wouldn't be helpful to idkhow at all.

i definitely felt like something was going on and nobody was saying anything so while breezys mom wasn't the one i'd want to hear about this from, it does give a little insight. some people are saying that breezys mom spread lies about panic stuff so they're hesitant to believe her. i don't know the details of that and i don't even know if that's true, so i'll just say it seems fair to approach it with caution.

so that's all we have been told but this is just my thoughts: love to hear more about it from dallon, breezy or ryan himself but i also understand if it's not something they want to talk about. it wouldnt be dallon's first time getting money stolen from him! so if it is true that's really fucked up and makes me really sad, for dallon AND for ryan because idk why he's need to or want to do that to somebody who has done so much for him (there's been debate over if his contract with idkhow was fair to him financially or not, so i guess that could be part of it hypothetically). if true, i would imagine it could ruin a lot for him. not just with idkhow but with other people and other parts of his life. he's talked about having problems with alcoholism and other bad habits/addictions in the past, and stealing like this would line up with those kinds of things. definitely makes me sad to think about but it doesn't seem overly unrealistic or anything. if it is all true, it makes me sad that ryan has been pretty much just acting normal. like he's been posting on his story and tweeting and just being very normal about everything. >:{

all in all i guess i would say i'm inclined to believe it but definitely want more confirmation to know for sure. i'll add more to this if we find anything else out.

#mine #why ryan why #idkhow #i don't know how but they found me #idkhbtfm #dallon weekes #ryan seaman #i dont know how but they found me

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bts-trans · 11 months

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231105 RM's Instagram Story

Response

…myself feel like someone else. Especially when people say stuff like "be more mysterious", or "if you want to be respected, don't get too close". I do that kind of stuff because it's just who I am as a person, I have no need to make things look good. I've been through a lot of pain and felt loss and suffered and shed tears. Having experienced all that, the attempts to filter myself, my efforts to become someone else - it all seems so insignificant and unnecessary. My life is too short for me to try and suppress everything. I feel like I should just feel everything I feel and live happily. Relationships with people cause disharmony? distrust? discomfort? Well those are also feelings I feel and are all a part of my life. If I have something to say, I just end up saying it. I'm bragging? Maybe, so what? Let's do that too, let's just go ahead, if nobody in the world bragged, why would that word exist, why would it mean what it does? I'm no Hong Gil-dong* - pride, envy, greed, anger are all part of life, of being a person. If it has a name, it's not something to be treated as evil, but something we should just face head on and accept. Whether it's about me or someone else, all of it makes my life richer. Just like there are no stories without conflict. When I think about things that way, it feels like I've lived my whole life until now touching things with mittens on. I'm happier now that I've taken them off. Books are great, but you're not a book, you're not someone else, and you're definitely not David, made of stone. I hope you can just become you.

(T/N: *The protagonist of the very famous story 'Hong Gildong jeon', written during the Joseon dysnasty. Hong Gil-dong is a Robin Hood-like character who stands against social hierarchies and steals from the rich to give to the poor. Overcoming his low birth status to become a hero and a king, he is seen as invincible, righteous figure.

2. The picture is a screenshot of a comment on this YouTube video. The video is an audiobook of the Korean translation of 'Oraculo Manual y Arte De Prudencia', or 'The Art of Worldly Wisdom' by Baltasar Gracián. 🔗https://youtu.be/Qkt4phMoCP4?si=txGX1C00ND9nHgda)

Trans cr; Aditi @ bts-trans © TAKE OUT WITH FULL CREDITS

#231105 #rm #namjoon #instagram #insta #story #youtube #comment #reading with namjoon #bts #bangtan

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katzkinder · 2 months

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Okay so the dichotomy between your Sakuya Cherry Bomb idea and Yarra's Kuro vtuber is hilarious to me because like.

Sakuya: Fans only know him as Cherry Bomb and don't know anything about him outside of his music.

Kuro: Vtuber Lore is literally just his life but it should be fine because people dont know vampires are real.

I FUCKING FOUND IT. LINK TO THE CHERRY BOMB POST 🍒💣

Anyway one of the reasons for the difference is I headcanon Sakuya as being a 90s kid! as in, he died in the 90s--

This, naturally, makes him a lot more wary about the info he puts out there on the internet, but it also means his internet experience was molded by Ye Olden Days when creators were a lot less available to their fanbases and interacted with them very little, if at all.

He doesn't even have a fanart hub, and his icon is just a random street in tokyo he thought looked nice.

His classmates REALLY do not get why Sakuya is so paranoid, so Sakuya shows them how easy it would be for a super dedicated person to figure out exactly where Mahiru’s apartment is using his cooking tutorial videos (uploaded under the channel name "Sunny Mama" courtesy of Kuro) and basic realtor research

Things like Mahiru apologizing for any construction noise and using the time stamp to figure out which apartment complexes had construction in their vicinity during that time, floor plans, how even his living situation and the model of his appliances can all be used to narrow down the area he lives in.

“He lives with his uncle and the camera man, which means at least two rooms. We can see the stove top and the front of the oven, so I take a screenshot of that and… Ah, this is the brand. Now I research the model. Okay, I have two components. He mentions that he walks to school, so that’s a two bedroom apartment in Tokyo within walking distance of a high school with good quality appliances, which means I can rule out a lot of run down complexes. This grocery bag was in frame during this video, and a high school kid Mahiru’s age wouldn’t have a license, so now I add that name of the store to my list of things I know are around the complex because when you go grocery shopping, you don’t want to carry the bags a long distance home…”

The faces of his friends are full of horror.

"And that’s not even getting into the drinking with uncle segment that happens in their living room, with full view of the balcony because Mahiru hates the place getting musty so he leaves the curtains open a lot. Knowing what buildings are viewable from there can also tell someone where a place is, especially if you’re thorough enough to consider the angle you’re seeing everything at.” Sakuya glances up and closes his laptop. “So, yeah.”

Mahiru makes a Noise, fretting, "Wait, so what do I do now??"

Sakuya feels a little bad for scaring his friend, but it's for his own good! “Keep your curtains closed, make sure the screws in your door frame are the really long kind to prevent someone from just kicking the door off its hinges, don’t get electronic locks because it’s stupid easy to trick those into unlocking, and just… Be more careful? Wear a mask from now on and go back and edit footage to remove your face from the visible shot. Try and keep things focused on your hands instead, maybe…”

"Should I get rid of the drinking with uncle part? Since that always focuses on Uncle Tooru's reactions..."

"He’s a grown up and an old man. Nobody’s going to be interested in pulling him into a windowless white van unless it’s those creep show friends of his…”

"Wh--Why would anyone be interested in pulling me into a windowless white van?!"

"Sex trafficking."

"Eh?"

"Or stealing your organs."

"Eh?"

“Or even just some obsessive pervert who’s built up some kind of fantasy in their head that you’re fated for one another but you just don’t realize it yet.”

"What."

As you can tell. Yeah. Sakuya really internalized those 90s internet safety psas. He's also well acquainted with the idea of a very dedicated stalker for. Reasons.

Tsubaki voice: that boy just isn't right...

#Anonymous #asks #servamp #thanks for the ask nonny!!#kat's katerwauling #pawprints #sakuya watanuki #mahiru shirota

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crow-man72 · 8 months

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uhm thoughts on the new smg4 episode..... :33 (SPOILERS BELOW!!! GO WATCH IT IF U HAVEN'T ALREADY) (also I had to take these from my phone bc the keybind to screenshot stuff wasn't working for some reason 💔💔)

episode starts off at the cafe which YIPPIE!!! 3'S COFFEE AND BOMBS IS BEING MENTIONED!!!!! Anyways Steve asks for a Turkey sandwich and 3 gives him evil villain tax which is hilarious but Eggman decides to give him... evil counselling??? ok then

kaizo was in the smg3 doing evil stuff montage!!!! please I need more kaizo this year pretty please smg4 please

WRECK IT RALPH REFERENCE????

Depresso goes through a torture asmr in the next scene and he actually likes it. DEPRESSO YOU SICK CREEP. NO WONDER NOBODY LIKES YOU.

pathetic wet cats (had to pair these screenshots together because. idk. I just had to)

WHY. DID HE THINK OF THAT. WHEN HE WAS THINKING ABOUT GETTING TOO CLOSE TO THE OTHER MEMBERS OF THE STAR TRIO + MEGGY. IS THERE SOMETHING YOU HAVE TO SAY SMG3????

WE ARE SO BACK. VILLAN SMG3 HAS RETURNED!!!!!!!!! I AM SO HAPPY VILLAN 3 IS BACK, I LIKED THE IDEA OF 3 BEING AN ALLY BUT OH HOW I MISSED EVIL SMG3.

BUT THEN HES TOLD BY EGGMAN TO KILL SMG4. YEAH.

I honestly thought he wasn't going to do it (which he didn't, pain and suffering was more SMG3s style as said by him) but OH MY GOD HE WAS GOING TO KILL 4. WHICH I AM SO CONFLICTED ABOUT. ON ONE HAND OMG 3 YOU REALISE IF SMG4 DIED MARIO WOULD PROBABLY STEAL YOUR NOTEBOOK AGAIN??? AND THE UNIVERSE WOULD BE OUT OF ORDER??? BUT ON THE OTHER HAND HE HATES SMG4 SO I GUESS HE CAN MAKE A COMPROMISE

rasins

HIS TOMATO SON GOT SQUISHED. AGAIN. what is it with 3, 4, and liking little creatures and calling them their children

overall 9/10!!! 1 point removed for eggman saying "all villans murder"when he has not killed sonic EVEN ONCE.

#smg4 #smg4 smg3 #smg3 #smg34 #smg3 coffee n bombs #WE ARE SO BACK #loved this episide :3

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strawberry-cowmilk · 2 years

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top 10 saddest quotes in obey me

a/n: I'm suffering from having 0 idea of what to write next and my previous shitpost like this did surprisingly well, so here we are. (I actually posted this before but it didn't show up on tags??) Again, this post is all jokes. I'm sorry if I accidentally offend anybody.

no image belongs to me, I just filtered and cropped the screenshots from the game.

content warnings: shitpost! everything is all jokes, mild strong language

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This is a harsh reality many Mammons live in: zero money. You know why? Because they often get hung up upside down, so the cash falls out of their pockets. The Mammons hate it very much, and it's scary for them, but this one is showing his deep fear to the Leviathan to show he really has no money. The fact that the Levi looks like he doesn't believe the other male is truly devastating to look at.

What we see here, dear people, is a wild Beelzebub who stole a Leviathan's food, and proudly quotes the Joey guy from Friends while doing so. While it is not uncommon for such orange-haired males to steal food, it is sad when it happens to a Levi. Think about it, where do we go to get food when it's all finished? Exactly, the supermarket, which is outside. And what do Leviathans hate? The outside. This poor Levi now has to go outside for food.

Mammon has returned, this time not sharing his own hardships, but making life hard for another species: Satans. Many people don't know this, but recent studies have shown there are two kinds of Satan, gold and silver. Silver Satans are more emotional than the gold ones, so calling one cheap is very painful for them, dangerous too. Why? All Satans express emotions by throwing destructive tantrums. By the way, our research team couldn't determine what the Simeon is thinking. Hypothesis says he's thinking about an Mc's glutes.

Speaking of glutes, look at this heartbroken Asmodeus. It's in his name, ASSmodeus. Clearly, this kind of male loves ass as much as he loves the mirror section at IKEA and fake plants bugs won't sit on combined. This Asmo had spotted some potential mate with, in his words, 'a pretty nice derriere.' Imagine the pain he felt when the mate, potentially a Mc dressed as a succubus at a Halloween party, vanished from sight. Scientists were brought to tears by this image. So sad.

Many of us can relate to this poor Belphegor. It's a sad reality we live in: waking up everyday from precious sleep to go to work, school, or to see your laundry you forgot to fold. As we know, Belphegors enjoy sleep, and are able to sleep in any situation. That is how much they love visiting dreamland. Our team of researchers believe this is due to the fact that Belphegors dream about auditioning for the position of the lead singer of Evanescence, and getting said part. This is their dream they get to live in. Imagine waking up. Ouch.

Oh my, what a rare sighting! Wild Raphaels don't appear often in front of people. But, think about the reason we found a Raphael. He said it himself, he is missing. The poor thing. Imagine how much he misses his mom. The fact he used the word 'still' indicates he's been lost for a good while. Poor Raphael, we all hope he finds his mom soon.

When you first look at this, you might think there isn't much sadness to it. But what if I told you our research team found out what the context behind this image is? You see, the Lucifer is talking to an Mc. Said Mc just woke up from a dream and they're still half-sleeping. Sadly the dream was way better than their reality: the Lucifer actually unbuttoned the highest button of his shirt in it. This Mc wishes it was also the case in their reality. One of our researchers quit because this was way too emotional.

Now, on with the real tear-jerkers. First, I have to point out how sweet it is of the Asmo to try to cheer the Levi up. But, we've all been in this position the Leviathan is in right now. And we sure know how painful it is to relive those memories. Nobody wants to remember the terrible things they did as a young child at 3AM while trying to sleep after all. Just look at this Levi's body language, he's completely shut himself off from the world. I actually cried.

Oh the pain. The pure emotion packed into this phrase, the hint of sorrow behind his eyes, the blush, indicating the Satan was crying. That's too much, man. Good thing the nearest Mc came running to give this Satan a hug. We have to admit, our team wasn't able to find the context to this image. However, the most popular theory states that the Satan was trying to catch a cat, but it ran away and told him a yo mama joke.

I needed a moment before even looking at this. Poor Diavolo, getting absolutely clapped in Mario Kart. Everyone hates losing in that game, but it's worse for Diavolos. Mcs rank them not by attractiveness or anything, no, but by skill in Mario Kart. That means this Diavolo's love life got ruined, by his own friend. If that isn't sad, I don't know what is.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me swd #obey me screenshot #obey me screencap #obey me crack #obey me shitpost #obey me memes #obey me lucifer #obey me leviathan #obey me mammon #obey me satan #obey me raphael #obey me diavolo #beelzebub obey me #belphegor obey me

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kerubimcrepin · 8 months

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Live-read: Trying to understand the Aux Tresors novels without actually reading the novels in question.

NOTE: 1/5 OF THE NOVELS HAS BEEN SCANNED AFTER THE WRITING OF THIS POST. SAID SCAN HAS BEEN TRANSLATED INTO ENGLISH+RUSSIAN BY ME, AND THEN LIVEBLOGGED. THIS NOTICE WILL BE UPDATED IF MORE BOOKS ARE TO BE FOUND AND TRANSLATED. YOU CAN FIND THEIR LIVEBLOGS IN THIS SAME TAG ("NOVELS")

This is the last, and the most borderline-experimental and cringe-flop part of the reading break #1, because in this post, I will be discussing the five novels based on the show.

Without actually reading them.

Nobody has seemingly ever scanned or copied them, and I don't have the ability to buy them. If you're French, or a rich person, perhaps you could get your hands on them and tell me how wrong I am, but until then, let's speculate.

You can find the... (sighs deep as fuck) Plot Summaries on Otakia. Everything I will discuss here comes from Otakia. You can find the books somewhere else. Perhaps Amazon, probably some other site too... Because as far as I remember, Ankama's literal official shop only has one of the five.

Roman Kerubim (Dofus) Tome 1 : Le ciel sur la tête

>Read about it here

To regurgitate a bit of info from Otakia: just like the Wakfu novels, which apparently also exist, these five novels are kind of like... a bonus episode in a written form, following the structure of the show.

When grabbing quotes from Otakia I will be putting them into a translator and then screenshotting, so that you can quickly read them, and so that I don't have to copy things.

But I won't be copying the descriptions or summaries of the books, just the bits I'd like to elaborate on. You can read them yourself there.

To reference that one meme: Why didn't he start thinking about his dead parents? Is he stupid?

OKAY, I really didn't expect this post to go anywhere, but it's funny that even in Dofus times, Porkass people were known to eat Twelvians.

You will never fucking guess with what nation Bonta of the Waven era, is involved in a seemingly mutually cannibalistic war with.

Roman Kerubim (Dofus) Tome 2 : Une étoile pour le shérif

>Read about it here

I want to thank whoever runs Otakia for uploading this image specifically. Thank you Monsieur/Madame Otakia.

You may notice that, I will be upscaling all the images I bring here from the Otakia articles. The reason for this is that I am a normal and sane person, and need to look at it in a crispier way.

As you may remember, Kerubim already said that he used to be a sheriff in episode 16, West of Astrub.

The writer of this article will literally be like "the book gives you candy, sucks your dick clean and dry, cleans up your home, and then it gives you a hundred dollars, so I didn't like it."

I wish Kerubim would be a fucking loser and a menace more often.

In the Judgement of The Twelve episode, Kerubim and Bashi had already mentioned meething each other many times as young adults, and having stories about it, so it's nice to see this factoid utilized for more than 2 episodes, if only in a book.

Also, yet again, Kerubim literally doing his job and Bashi being fucking insane and hating him for it, despite doing far worse things.

Roman Kerubim (Dofus) Tome 3 : Panique à Astrub

>Read about it here

Indie is insane for this btw.

Joris canonically eats burgers and YES reading this article a while back is the reason I put burgers into my Joris fanart.

You can see full art on my general artblog @atcham-crepin. Yeah, my blog naming scheme is very creative, I know.

I just think his refined ass eating burgers is funny, even though in canon he is only depicted doing this as a kid.

Roman Kerubim (Dofus) Tome 4 : Le décapiteur de soiffard

>Read about it here

Including the cover art because it is very nice, and to draw your attention to THE best novel none of us will ever get to fucking read.

My dream Joris & Simone story, and I can't even read it. Smh.

List of things I love about this:

Joris stealing stuff.

Simone being a leader.

Kerubim, as we had seen in the past episodes, literally the type to text something like "I am not long for this world.... tell my family I love them." over a tummy ache. I hate this man so much it's unreal.

Of Course he sent them on a wild goose chase over some random bullshit.

Simone and Joris @ Kerubim at the end of this book:

Roman Kerubim (Dofus) Tome 5 : Tous en piste

>Read about it here

I will be real, I don't think any living being can tame that fucking beast.

These books are just treating us with characters in outfits we hadn't seen them in, in the show. It would be... a better world, if these books were episodes instead.

Also, want to yet again remind you that I am upscaling the shit out of these images. Because I'm normal. But at times the results can be wonky.

The World of Twelve has never seen, and will never see again, a couple more toxic than them. Sad!

Unlike the Simone & Joris book, I yet again don't have much to say, but, I'm sure I would, had the books been available to me.

This brings me to a close with the first reading break. After this post, I will resume liveblogging about the show. But I do have ideas of what the next reading break entail, and I think they're rather fun! Like "trying to read Dofus manga without reading Dofus manga" or "reviewing Dofus Aux Tresors merch without buying Dofus Aux Tresors Merch", or, perhaps, "scrying on a crystal ball to read Tot Ankama's thoughts."

...Yeah. Only the last one is a joke.

#novels #ro liveblogs dofus #dofus #wakfu #krosmoz #tagging because I want a broader circle of fans to know about the existence of the novels #so that maybe a kind pro-p*racy frenchman will someday upload them to l*brary g*nisis. i don't know.

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taperwolf · 10 months

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opinions on nijigaku polycule? this is like the third time i've came to your blog to fetch the group pic from guren no genki (blessed image, it's been my browser bg for a while, i realise i could've just screenshotted it while typing this out) and i soo agree but ive never seen you talk about it specifically (ig i aven't been here for long anyway) i joked about how "nijigasaki is basically the polyamory manifesto" to a girl the other day and we found it funny but then i realised no, that's real

I will talk about 'the great Nijigasaki polycule' occasionally — usually in tags, admittedly — and I guess the best way to describe my feelings about it is that they're about three clicks more serious than "ha ha they should all just date".

Part of it is that I am naturally a multishipper and polyshipper to begin with. Part of it is the way that Nijigasaki's stated theme of "friends but rivals; rivals but also friends" expresses itself most clearly in DiverDiva's ethos of making each other better through serious but good-natured competition. Part of it is the way that the jokes about "your"/Yu's harem and "Hitori dake nante erabenai yo!" are taken almost seriously. And part is the way that, as a parayuri series, the official stories can't or won't commit to specific couples and instead have spent years scattering breadcrumbs widely across many, many pairings.

But there's stuff like — okay, even for Ayumu, the most obviously possessive one? There's a SIFAS bond chapter where she resorts to following "you" out of jealousy because "you" have been going off to meet with some unknown person When she finally bursts in, her accusation isn't about romance or about her — she's worrying that "you" are cheating on everybody with a new school idol. (The punchline, of course, is that it's the head of Ayumu's fan club and they're planning a surprise for her.) Or over in Shioriko's bond story, when Ayumu comes across "you" and Shioriko out together, the conversation basically goes that she's not sure if she wants to steal "you" from Shioriko, or Shioriko from "you"; Shioriko admits she likes both Ayumu and "you", and "you" say "I'll have to adore you both".

Or there's a single main story chapter where Lanzhu insists that everyone has an open relationship — Shioriko tries to correct her that she means the relationship has open communication — and Kasumi insists that there's an agreement in place that nobody gets ahead of anybody else. (The conversation somehow leads to those two cuddling and Mia dismissing "those lovebirds".) So, like, the implications are there!

My basic thought — in my headcanon gestalt of all the sources — is that it's not a flat and completely equal relationship, but a set of interlocking (and somewhat fluid) subgroups, founded in two directions at once: everybody loves Yu while Hitori dake nante erabenai yo, and Lanzhu obviously adores everybody. But while, say, it's obvious that everyone likes Emma, I'm not sure it's all in the same way or degree, and vice versa — you can see in the Nijigasaki dorm bits in the Daily Theatre that while Emma helps everyone get up, Karin gets an extra dose of indulgence and care. Nonetheless, the lines get a little blurry, between "rivals who are obviously about to kiss", "friends who are all snuggly", and "Kanata wants to sleep with everyone".

So that was a long way around to answer the question, and I'm not sure if I actually did! I'm open to any followups.

#love live #nijigasaki #the great nijigasaki polycule #i kind of feel like it'd take a long time for anything to be conscious #but lanzhu already bought a house for everybody to live in after graduation so that's okay

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olderthannetfic · 1 year

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Latest drama in my fandom I do kinda laugh about:

There is this big artist. They got to be a big name because their art is really good and they did a lot of ship art of a very popular ship. they also made a lot of OCs for that fandom. They do regularly do polls where they ask their fans what they should draw next. It's mostly 3 options of "OC x OC", 1-2 Option of "OC x A Character (from the source) and SOMETIMES 1 option for 2 Characters from the Source being shipped (mostly their OTP of course). They regularly whine and complain that it's always either OC x Character or the 2 Characters ship win those polls and when they don't give even the option for a character from the source being offered, they don't get as much engagement.

Like. Come on. We are here for the fandom, for the characters from the source material. As cool as some designs of their OCs are, they are not the reason we are here in the fandom and not out there in the original works space. (They continue to tag their OCs under the fandom's name still of course. They also monetize their art heavily, like there are always links to their commission side on every art post and they tried to do merch of their OCs like keychains and buttons that nobody really got because... well... it's their OCs).

They also have an obsession with micromanaging their OCs and what people are allowed to do/think with them. Like not just "this OC is this and that" but also "if you HC them as anything other than what I say I will end you!" kinda way. Very defensive too. Like, there was that one person that made their own OC . They shared an archetype (think of something basic like "mage" or "knight") with one of the artists OCs so of COURSE that person was STEALING THEIR OCs! they ranted about it to their big twitter following. you can guess that their weak little "but please don't harass them" line at the end of the rant that included screenshots with the full name of that other artist didn't do much to prevent that other artist being bullied out of the fandom.

Just... that person is kinda a clown and the sooner the hype around them dies down (which it slowly does because they do little now besides their OCs and people from the fandom are leaving more and more) the better I think. Either that or they finally grow up and learn how to be an adult on the internet.

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metamorphosisff · 1 year

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|Chapter 9| Kinda, Sorta...Maybe

My fingers toy with the braided orange and white yarn bracelet around my wrist as I wait for Papi’s summer camp orientation to be over. The young counselors in the front are going through what the program will look like for the next eight weeks and behavioral expectations. However no one is truly paying attention. Tired parents, wrangle with groups of children, and their own boredom while clusters of kids throughout the cramped auditorium talk excitedly amongst themselves. I sat in the back fighting against sleep myself after my graveyard shift since Mari couldn’t make the ten a.m. meeting. As they finally begin to enter the last week of camp on the powerpoint my pointer finger traces over the one bead that was in the middle of the bracelet that was marked with the letter X.

Xavier had slipped it into my hand last Saturday while we waited for the Uber to take me back across the bridge. Apparently his sister and her friends have quite the side hustle in selling the custom friendship bracelets. For ten dollars he got her to make us some. At first I told him I’d never wear mine but then I saw him with it on at community service yesterday. It was right behind the Apple Watch he always wore with my initial facing outward. Jazz had clocked it before I had, which earned me another earful about letting him in.

When he Facetimed me last night the first thing he saw was it on my wrist. The simple joy that spread throughout his eyes from me participating in the peak of his corniness made it worth it. Xavier never asked for me to give more of me than I was willing even when I could tell he wanted to. This was the least I could do to show him that his energy was not for nothing. That even though I swore to be a kind of decent friend, I knew he was a true one to me. In a short amount of time he managed to be a great one. So now a part of me wanted to be that in return. My train of thought was interrupted by Papi thrusting a folder into my lap. I raised a brow in question.

“It’s the program’s calendar and a few slips for you to sign for our trips,” Papi explained.

“Got it. When are these due?” I asked.

“I have to bring them with me on the first day next week,” he replied.

Nodding my head, I stuffed the folder, and stood to my feet. I had a few hours before I had to be up for community service. “C’mon let’s go home.”

“Actually, I was kind of hoping to hang out with Jayce and Tim,” he said, nodding over to two boys who were waiting for him not too far away. We lucked out by finding a program other boys from his school had heard about as well.

“Jayce is the one with the older sister right?” I asked.

“Yeah, Jessica,” he replied.

“Then fine, you can go,” I replied, knowing that Jayce’s sister routinely checked in on her brother and his friends. “But you better beat me home later.”

“I got you, later Auntie,” he said, giving me a quick hug before running off with his friends.

“Later.”

While he ran off to get sweaty, I made the twenty minute trek back to our building.In no time I had stripped down, tossed myself into a shower, scarfed down the bagel I bought on the way home, and was crashing into my sheets when my phone began to vibrate. I groaned at the sight of Lonso’s name next to a text notification. Clicking it, I quickly scanned the message.

Ma’s having a birthday party. You coming?

Ms. Lena had a birthday party every year and I had gone all of one time to know I’d never go to another. It hurt too much to see what was so blatantly missing from my life. There was so much love on his side of the family that he never went a day without it. Meanwhile, savoring their joy felt too much like stealing to me. Instead of responding directly, I sent him the screenshot of the calendar reminder I had which read ‘Call Ms. Lena’.

Within seconds he replied.

That better be a Facetime with your no-show ass.

Go recite the anthem or whatever they pay you to do instead of playing on my phone.

Ain’t nobody playing. That’s your problem right there. Just come home.

See? He never got it. Never got me. Virginia was not my home because they left me behind when they were crafting it. Their house was a reminder that I was tolerated at best and I didn’t need the pity. Shaking my head, I typed out what would be my last response: I am home.

I rolled my eyes and tossed my phone to the side so that I could finally go to sleep. That was enough Lonso for one day.

It’s been eons since I have stepped into a lecture hall but I do so this afternoon as Xavier has invited me to watch him teach. As I sit in the back, I notice as a few people regard me with curious stares wondering why I’m there. I’m looking around the room wondering the same thing when my eyes lock with the professor’s. He sends me a silly smile and beckons me forward but I shake my head. I don’t want to sit any closer because knowing Xavier he’ll try to get me to participate. I’ve agreed to listen, nothing more, sensing my stance he grins but nods his head in acquiesce. Baby steps. We’re taking baby steps at getting me to be a more social being in general. I pull out one of Papi’s old notebooks that still has a few blank pages in the back and a pen. On the screen is a slide that reads: PSY518 Macro Human Behavior. Underneath that is the subtitle: Chapter 2 - The Social Psychology of Group Behavior. I write down both along with my name and the date as if I’m actually a part of the class.

After a few more minutes, when the hall is filled with about eighty or so students, Xavier calls the class to attention. He stands in the center of the floor, right before where the teacher’s desk is, and his belongings sit atop.Today he wears jeans and a powder blue short sleeve button down with a sweater that the blasting air conditioning makes necessary. I eye the students, armed with notebooks, tablets, and computers ready for the words that are to spill from his lips. Their hunger for knowledge makes me lean forward and swing my eyes back to the man in the middle of the room. He had their respect and undivided attention, I could give him that too.

Clapping his hands together, Xavier starts, pacing as his voice fills the room. “Over the last two weeks we have been breaking down chapter two, the social psychology of group behavior. Tonight we will wrap up this discussion by examining ourselves, our awareness of self, and how that can affect our worldview, and professional practice. To kick us off, can somebody please refresh us on what Albert Bandura’s social learning theory is.”

Multiple hands shoot up into the air. Xavier chooses a girl dressed in overalls splattered in paint and a ruffled crop top. Her bright pink hair makes it easy to find her when she says, “Social learning theory basically stresses the importance of observing, modeling, and imitating the behaviors, attitudes, and emotional reactions of others.”

“That’s it precisely and quickly can somebody connect why that theory applies when we look inward to ourselves,” Xavier said, scanning the hall once again before calling on a lanky kid whose limbs were spilling out of the seat. “Dante go ahead.”

“Because we are what we have been raised or not raised to be. Humans are very monkey see, monkey do. If we see our parents work hard, we work hard. If we see them doing drugs, we are likely to follow suit, so on and so forth,” Dante replies.

That response makes me sit up because it strikes close to home. I never wanted to do drugs because of my parents but something in me lately had been drawn to setting my life on fire. Now, here I was shifting through the ashes, wondering when I had become a pyromaniac. Had the instinct lied dormant within me or did I learn how to pick up matches from watching them?

“Correct. To expound on Dante’s example, if we see our parents work hard, then we may think, why can’t other people do the same? You might think your client is being lazy or not trying their best. That can cause you to miss a potential area of assessment. Maybe your client has ADHD or SPD. If you hold onto these biases, and we all have them, then you will not be serving your client to the best of your ability,” Xavier continues.

“Professor Taylor, are all biases harmful?” someone else calls out. I miss the face because I’m too busy jotting down notes to revisit later.

“I would say yes but to varying degrees. Like stereotypes, biases are a form of personal truths, of what we believe to be true based on experience. We fall short when we don’t take into account that not everyone has the same shared experience,” Xavier replies.

“What if all of your experiences are harmful but you don’t want to replicate the behaviors you witnessed in your home or community?” another student asks.

I can feel all of the thoughts zinging around the room as this class gets into its analyzing state. These kids are keeping Xavier on his toes and he loves it. His eyes light up when he gets this question.

“Great point, the answer is you have a lot of work to do on yourself. It is hard to break free of the behaviors we witness in our formative years. They are embedded in us in ways we don’t know are possible until certain situations arise. It is hard but it is not impossible,” he says, his eyes landing on me the exact moment he finishes his statement.

It’s an echo of our conversation from the day of the food truck festival. A subtle reminder to me that change is possible. I’m on the fence but for the next ninety minutes I open my mind to the possibility. I watch students role play different situations where awareness of self would be crucial in helping their future clients. I watch as Xavier gently guides and corrects where some groups fall short. I fill the remaining blank pages in Papi’s old notebook with phrases, words, and theories I plan to look up when I get home. As he dismisses his students, I look over what I’ve written with some understanding of my childhood, and the decisions I have made in adulthood because of it. I’m lost in thought when Xavier approaches me, bag slung over his shoulder.

“Those notes mean you enjoyed the lecture?” he asks.

“I did. Feed me and I’ll tell you my thoughts,” I say, putting away my stuff in my bag.

He chuckles as he steps aside as I get up from my seat. “C’mon there’s a bomb pizza spot not too far from here.”

We walk side by side under ominous gray clouds that are threatening to spill at any moment. This impending storm was not on the weather forecast this morning so I’ll most definitely be getting caught in it since I’m umbrella-less. For now though, I push the thought to the back of my mind as we make it to the pizzeria that was only four blocks away from the side of campus we had been on. There are a few tables in the back available between the crowd of students and families. I snag one while he gets our slices, a penne and regular one for me, and two pepperoni’s for him. We eat for all of five seconds before he decides to start probing me about his class.

“Aight, I’ve fed you, spill it. What did you think?” he asks, taking a bite out of his pepperoni slice.

I grin at the nervousness in his demeanor before saying,“That you both enjoy and know what you’re talking about. I was able to follow along like I’ve been in the class the whole semester.”

Nodding his head, he said, “That’s exactly what I strive for. Texts are hard enough to break down on their own without me being more confusing on top of that.”

“I wish I had more teachers that followed that philosophy. Why don’t you teach full time?” I ask next.

“I love teaching but I also like feeling like I’ve made an impact. Helping Hands allows me to serve people in a real way. The need to help is in my blood. Most of the men in my family serve by enlisting but that wasn’t my path,’” he answers.

“Mine either. My brother enlisted too. He wanted to be the complete opposite of our father and thought I should want that as well,” I said.

“We can only walk our paths. Not the ones other’s want for us,” he said, speaking from experience as well.

“Correct. I’m glad you listened to your gut because this is so clearly your calling,” I said.

“Thanks,” he smiled before asking, “It took me a minute to find it but I literally can’t see myself doing anything else.”

“Why do you think it took you so long?” As someone who was also taking a long time to find their purpose I couldn’t help but wonder how long it might take me.

“About five years. I spent a lot of my teen years and early twenties angry, at first because me and my father could not see eye to eye. Then because of Sabrina. Anger…distracted me. That’s why when I figured it out, I hit the ground running trying to make up for lost time. One of the reasons why my ex is my ex, she thought I needed a new career when I had just found this one,” he said, with a shake of his head.

“Not to be disrespectful but it sounds like she did not know you. Anyone with eyes can see how much you love what you do,” I said.

“Not anyone, just those who matter,” he said softly, taking a glance at me while taking a sip of his soda.

I feel my cheeks heat up and quickly drop my gaze to what’s left of my penne slice. He snickers but allows me to retreat in peace. We fall into a comfortable silence as I finish off most of my food. When I’m done, I wipe my hands on a napkin as I observe him typing out an email. His glasses are still on and the muscular body underneath the button down reminds me of an actor I can’t place at the moment.

“The professor's look suits you,” I said, popping the collar of his short sleeved button down, drawing his attention.

“Aye man quit,” he chuckles, but does nothing to stop me. Instead, he looks over at me as he chews the latest bite from his pizza. “Tell me about your day.”

Like that we fall back into an easy conversation as I fill him in on Papi’s first day of camp which was yesterday, the jobs I’ve been applying to, and the episodes of Captain America I’ve finally watched since he’s given me the login information for his Disney Plus account. By the time we leave the pizzeria to head towards the train station the sky has opened with a steady rain but we walk as if the sun is still out. Anytime our in person time is coming to an end both of us subconsciously fall into sync to make it last as long as possible. Our shoulders brush as he listens to me complain about having to be up in seven hours for work.

“That just means you’ll have to go to bed as soon as you get in,” he says.

“If I go to sleep, I’ll miss more of your students' awful grammar and syntax,” I chuckle. Lately he had taken to reading me some of their papers aloud as he graded. They were interesting bedtime stories that sometimes affected my dreams.

“There will be no shortage of that trust me. They will still be bad tomorrow night,” he says, looking over at the train station entrance not too far away before looking at me. There were a thousand emotions swirling in those brown eyes. All of them were easily translated but still I couldn't help but to question for clarity.

“Why do you look at me like that?” I ask, as he peers down at me through long lashes that are clumped together due to the rain.

“Like what?” He says stepping closer to me in the way he does when he thinks he will somehow miss my words.

“Like…like I’m the only one you see…like I’m everything,” I said, speaking as the answer came to me bit by bit.

His attention for me is all encompassing and wraps around me like a cloak. We both find comfort in it and it’s why he is looking at the train station with such disdain. He does not want to part from me and if I’m being honest, I’m not ready to part with him either.

“Because you are,” he says.

Words are trapped in my throat as if I swallowed honey. He uses my lapse to lean in closer to say, “And you look at me the same way.”

“I…what?” I sputter out which causes him to chuckle.

“You heard me Mila. You see into me like I see into you which is what has made being your friend so amazing. This connection between us…it can be more,” he said, giving voice to my most inner thoughts.

The thoughts I tried to bury and deny. The thoughts Jazz said were inevitable for me to have. He has them too.

“More,” I repeat softly as his brown eyes hold onto mine. Not giving me the opportunity to escape this time. He’s holding me accountable at this moment.

While it’s true I want Xavier to be my friend, I also want more because somewhere along the line I caught feelings. It’s sudden and unexpected but being around him makes me less afraid. Makes me want to take a risk which I do by grabbing his face and kissing him. His hands instantly reach for my waist, pulling me flush against him. Being in his embrace is the most sense of belonging I have ever known. It’s instantly right as his eagerness takes over the kiss. I don’t mind letting him lead, considering it a reward after taking a leap of faith. What feels like all too soon, he’s easing out of our kiss with small pecks as his breath fans against my face.

“I just wanted to pause and say technically you kissed me first,” he murmurs against my lips.

“I did,” I said, pressing my lips against his once more. “You kissed me back.”

“I did,” he repeats, kissing me again, this time firmer as he pulls me closer. I tilt my head, giving him more access to sweep his tongue against mine and for the cool drops of rain to slide down my throat. We both taste like the Coca Cola we washed down the slices with. I find myself gripping onto his shoulders to keep his body pressed against mine. The rain is picking up but I can’t pay attention to anything but the way my heart is beating against my chest and the way Xavier feels clutched against it. This feels like a movie but whenever our eyes catch between kisses I’m reminded of how real this is, how I don’t ever want this to not be our reality, and how scared I am of what this means for our future. He eases from our kisses with a few nibbles and pecks before resting his forehead against mine. “I’d like to keep kissing you from this day forward. Cool?”

“Cool.”

“We don’t have to rush anything. We move at the same pace,” he says, nuzzling his nose against mine. It's as if he feels my anxiety rising and knows just what to say to keep it at a simmer instead of boiling over.

“Okay,” I said, nodding my head and because I think he deserves to hear it too, I add, “I want more too but you’re my friend first. I need you to be.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” he says, sealing our agreement with another searing kiss that is a stark comparison to the monsoon we’re under.

It’s a simple acknowledgement of our shifting dynamic. One that helps to ease my racing thoughts for the time being as he links his fingers through mine and leads the way down into the station.

Today was finally the day where we said goodbye to the snazzy orange vest crew for good. The most embarrassing period of my life has finally come to a close. What better way to celebrate than getting drinks at T.G.I. Fridays and eating sizzling fajitas like Jazz and I were currently doing. So far we had been talking about pop culture with Jazz catching me up on the shows I never had the chance to watch anymore. When my phone flashed with a text from Xavier, she caught the smirk on my face as I read over the message inquiring when I’d be available to Facetime.

“Something changed between you and Mr.Clipboard. I saw the way he grabbed your hip before we took off,” Jazz said, pointing a long marble painted acrylic nail in my direction.

It honestly trips me out sometimes how much Jazz notices in the said and unsaid. She reads between the lines like no other so I don’t bother being vague anymore. Not when I needed someone to talk about this with being that Mari was perpetually busy.

“We kinda’, sorta’, maybe…might have kissed the other night,” I said, causing her to start clapping.

“I knew it, I knew it, I knew it. That boy looks at you like you are the second coming,” Jazz says, with a nod.

“He does,” I admitted, causing her to smirk because it wasn’t that long ago that I was denying that was the case.

“What made you see it for yourself?” Jazz asked.

“I don’t know if it was any one thing you know?” I replied, biting into a fry.

“Yeah I do. It’s the culmination of all that he is and all that he has the possibility to be. It is in the thoughtfulness of every gesture and the sizzle of chemistry in every embrace, it’s-

“Not that. Not yet at least,” I said, cutting her off before she can say the four letter word that is dying to spill from her lips.

“No not yet,” Jazz agrees, taking another bite of her food as well. “But soon enough. That scares you, don’t it?”

“More than I think I have the words for,” I admit with a chuckle.

I have never been in love, not for real, so while I’m not an expert on what it is, I’m sure as hell knowledgeable in what it isn’t. Xavier has presented none of those red flags but then again he doesn’t pretend to be someone he’s not. He owns up to where he falls short and strives to make the most out of his life encounter by encounter. He is admirable and approachable where I am jaded and enclosed. How do we meet in the middle without changing one another?

“He’s so sweet, and real, and I’m so afraid that I am going to fuck this up,” I continue, finally spilling some of what had been humming underneath my own excitement. Kissing Xavier was wonderful but what it meant scared me. “I feel the urge to-

“Run,” Jazz finishes for me. “I’ve been there chile and I did run. There hasn’t been a day that has gone by that I haven’t regretted either. That is why you Birdie, are going to stay the course because I’ve seen what’s on the other side so you don’t have to.”

“How do I not get in my own way?” I asked.

Jazz sends me a small smile as she says, “You are already making sure you aren’t. There is nothing wrong with having discernment about the new and exciting. That my dear is healthy so as long as you don’t let it hold you back. Xavier has made you entertain what you already considered to be impossible with friendship. This will only be slightly different but the same kind of beautiful.”

Below the surface, I believe what Jazz is saying to be true. Xavier is unlike any person I have ever met before let alone any other man. He stands in a category all by himself. I don’t have to empty out my skeletons in the closet for him to feel as if he knows me. He observes and adapts so that I’m comfortable with him without the need to.

“I hope so,” I say, as I take another sip of my drink.

“What will be, will be. Enjoy the journey Birdie,” Jazz says with a wink.

“I’m going to try. In other news I have a few interviews coming up. Fingers crossed I get a day job again,” I said.

“You will but I’m crossing my fingers all the same. I’m gon’ try to get me a lil piece of official work too. I have a friend who’s going to set me up at this shelter for women as an intake coordinator,” Jazz beams.

“That’s amazing Jazz! Sounds perfect for you as you love telling folks what to do,” I snickered.

“And do! Know the diva okay?!” Jazz hollers causing me to join in on the loud laughter. It’s been awhile since I have laughed with my whole body and it feels good to do so.

“Look at us, leaving community service on a high note,” I said.

“Here’s to making our people proud wherever they are,” Jazz says, raising her strawberry daiquiri.

I don’t know how she knows I’m in this world mostly alone but Jazz has an ‘all seeing’ way about her I have learned not to question. Instead I raise my glass with an amendment to her statement.

“And making ourselves proud above all. To looking forward.”

“Salute.”

#metamorphasisff #black fiction #black romance #slow burn romance #zendaya x mjb

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