#i see now that youve figured it out but im gonna keep this posted anyway incase anyone else wants to know

[supertinytins]

tins how do you evil boop what is this

hold your cursor over the boop button until the paws finished spinning 3 times!!! :3

[chuuya-kisser]

im finally free so that i can fucking scream abt bsd 117 and tell my thoughts on this heartbreaker of a chapter (will def make another post feeding my delusions)

(spoilers utc)

firstly.

ASAGIRI. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUXK ASAGIRI. ASAGIRI WHEN I CATCH YOU ASAGIRI I THOUGHT YOU WERE KILLING-YOUR-CHARACTERS-PHOBIC?????? NOW YOUVE MELTED TWO IMPORTANT CHARACTERS IN TWO CHAPTERS???? WHOS GONNA GO NEXT CHAPTER HUH WHO'S NEXT IN YOUR DEATH NOTE

well

Uh yeah so anyways basically heart broken for multiple reasons so we'll go in order

1- aya. oh my gosh aya. shes what, a ten year old?????? and in the span of a day, she has found out about a vampire lord who is responsible for destroying or saving the whole world, shouldered the responsibility of getting said vampire lord away from the enemy to save the world, developed a father-daughter relationship with said vampire lord, sacrificed herself and got saved by him, believed that the world could be saved now, saw her new father figure's body be torn apart and replaced by a greasy ratass who wants to destroy everything or whatever, with said new father's last words telling her to run to save herself, being saved by said father, then having him dissolve and die again in front of her eyes again. shes a ten year old. what the actual fuck. oh and don't forget, she doesn't know that she lost her other father figure too!

gosh she is going to be SO traumatised and even that is an understatement i really hope she has the strength to recover

2- so akutagawa is back huh? about time, about time (though im not very happy about the cost it took- but atleast he's back?)and he has agreed to protect aya on brams wish? thats surprising honestly, so im wondering if the stuff atsushi told him while fighting him at the airport or whatever affected his subconscious or something so that he consciously wants to start protecting people?

OR maybe! he sees a bit of himself in aya or smth? i mean look i dont exactly remember what happened before he met dazai and was taken in by him okay, dont come at me. but maybe he sees that terrified little kid and something stirs in him or smth anyways go akutagawa go you're her third father figure please dont die again ‼️

(also he looks so good-)

3- and the biggest bombshell

kunikida.

KUNIKIDA‼️‼️ NO NO NO THIS IS NOT ACTUALLY HAPPENING PEOPLE THIS IS NOT I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT I AM IN DENIAL

just- THINK ABOUT EVERYONE. think about atsushi and tanizaki. who saw him disappear slowly in front of their eyes, to buy them time. think about fukuzawa. who wished for kunikida to be the next president because he was the most ideal. who cares so much, even if he doesnt show it as much. think about aya. she has such a deep bond with kunikida, and now she'll have to face the devastating news that one of the only people who truly believed in her is gone too. think about ranpo and yosano.

think about dazai. who is much too far away to do anything right now, who miscalculated once which led to him being too far to stop fyodors rampage in any way. who was truly doing all this because he wanted to keep the detective agency safe. who, when he realises what will happen next, his first thought is to warn them. who was his new partner, kept him alive, even made him a part of his schedules. who i think he must have to care for, even a little bit.

dazai, who thinks that anything worth wanting is always lost the moment he obtains it. and its happened again. and by the looks of it, it will happen again.

i genuinely want to know how he'll react but i dont want to at the same time. gods i cant fucking do this man

like huhhh asagiri are you tryna make me cry or some shit???? Because youre succeesing SPECTACULARLY

also- are we gonna see tanizaki get liquefied too next chapter? because this panel sure looks like it

im scared for september now like what else are you gonna throw at us, huh asagiri? and what do you mean i have to wait a whole month this is crazy

and i am STILL in denial and will continue to be in denial guys wdym, ofc kunikida is alive and well! hes coparenting aya with bram, having fun at the agency and stuff ‼️‼️ hes perfectly peachy theres no helicopter singularity out for everyone's lives!!! (wow this post is LONG)

[daydream-believin]

MERLIN’S APPRENTICE & MERLIN’S CHAMPION || trollhunters

warnings: swearing

a/n: if rott gave me anything it gave me this idea

I KNOW I SAID “JUICY” BUT REALLY THAT WAS JUST THE ANGST POTENTIAL,, THAT IM NOT INDULGING IN THIS POST IM SORRY LMAO

OKAY WHAT IM REALLY TALKING BOUT HERE IS A GOOD MERLIN/ARTHUR BUT IT ACTUALLY WORKS

no sorry i haven’t seen bbc merlin don’t come for me i’m ignorant

OKAY SO

we know douxie kept an eye on the human trollhunter and co

but douxie’s really having a hard time convincing himself he’s just doing his job

he’s actually enjoying this a little too much despite how boring staying in the shadows is

and he’s kinda worried?

so he’s got this bright idea: you know what would better help him keeps tabs? if he befriends this person

and so he does

fuck merlin’s shadows

sod the rules

ofc he’s very up front about knowing they’re the trollhunter and that he’s merlin’s apprentice

we wouldn’t want that to become a huge festering secret that eats douxie from the inside out until the inevitable reveal when merlin calls them both to help with the arcane order and they realize they’ve both been lying to each other’s faces for months/years and neither of them know if they could ever trust the other again, right? — phew *catches breath*

but before you know it, mr. casperan and mx. trollhunter are best friends

he’s basically the toby to your jim

and you’re very happy to have a best friend like douxie

he understands that monster hunting hustle

he’s the only person you can vent to and actually talk about what’s going on without sounding like a loon

and douxie likes being able to tell someone all his frustrations with merlin, since you’re also in that boat with him

you spar sometimes. it’s fun, but you’re very careful not to accidentally hurt your friend (he’s extremely careful not to hurt you or wound your ego by effortlessly wiping you out)

ofc, there’s the occasional, brushing of hands, faces a little too close together, accidentally winding up on top of one another, purposefully winding up on top of one another 👀 you know how sparring be

you and douxie are a duo. a duo who have become trollmarket’s resident troublemakers, to vendel’s exasperation

you guys tease each other a lot

you do a lot of stupid shit, cause hey, now you have magic armor and a magic sword and a magic best friend, did you think you wouldn’t get up to some shenanigans?

douxie is your impulse control and he’s not a very good one, as he’s just as bad

truthfully archie has the brain cell

and pranks? gods the pranks. you two are always either pranking each other or you’re teaming up to prank some other troll who said smth mean to you in the pub. vendel had to personally put a stop to it (read: chew you out)

doux thinks the world of you tho, you’re such a noble knight, and likes to tell people about how you’re a cinnamon roll, so innocent, so pure

and then they meet you and you directly contradict those statements

trollhunter: i’ve never done anything wrong in my life, ever

douxie: i know this and i love you

(spoiler: you’ve done lots and lots of wrong)

doux spends an awful lot of time slinking around trollmarket now, and he’s in the know for everything that’s happening

(no more being kept in the dark for this wizard apprentice)

and doux knows merlin won’t completely approve of this, but hey, it’s not like he’s helping and thus directly disobeying

really, he’s not helping you at all, it’s really fucking annoying

okay so mayyybe the occasional healing spell. you’ve got those puppy dog eyes he can’t say no to

but you understand his sense of duty, or whatever it is that drives a follower, technically being a follower of merlin yourself

you respect the old geezer (as you have not been turned into a half-troll yet) as a wise mythical figure, and as your best friend’s father

and what a perfect match you are for each other, champion and apprentice, mutually being screwed over by a guy you both think has all the answers

you and douxie help each other grow in your self-worths, that you two are more than the chances merlin has given to you

unfortunately, mortifyingly, you have caught feelings.

douxie has also caught feelings, and is saying nothing yep you have enough on your plate without him putting this on you so he’ll just quietly pine and suffer don’t mind him choking to death in the corner when you take off your helmet and throw back your hair

y’all’s problem really starts manifesting itself as protectiveness. you are really protective of your wizard and he is really protective of his knight

lots of things said that are Not What Friends Say but neither of you really want to be the one to point that out

lots and lots of i love yous that slowly get more and more serious until it’s not exactly platonic anymore

and it’s just really nice to have someone to get coffee (or your favored hot drink) with at four in the morning after a tussle with a troll

and that’s basically how you and douxie spend the bulk of trollhunters, just vibing

as much as you can vibe, with all the changelings and shit trying to murder you all the time

then merlin wakes up and shakes up your world

you are aware of your impending doom

you’re aware of it

merlin keeps looking you up and down like he’s mentally making up the measurements of your coffin

and tbh the idea of fighting gunmar freaks you tf out

and you’re supposed to win that fight?

gods

you’re preparing for your nightmares coming true soon

truthfully you knew your fucking job had a 100% mortality rate

you don’t want to die with regrets

so

you spill

you spill all the things you’d wanted to tell him and how much he means to you and that you couldn’t bear it if you were a goner before he knew

miraculously, douxie feels the same and tells you all the things he’d been holding back and and what you mean to him and how much he wants to protect you, that you’re gonna make it, if he had anything to say about it

and everything is perfect for one night

now you have a real reason to win

not that saving humanity isn’t a big responsibility on your shoulders and definitely A Reason

but knowing douxie’s waiting for you, for the life you’ll build together after this, the peace you’ll both have, it’s absolutely a big motivation to give your all and come out victorious and survive

hahaha loser you don’t know about the arcane order

and then merlin uses your microwave to cook a weird potion

you and merlin are alone in the house, but there’s no real mind games necessary. you may have grown past thinking he was a god, but in the end, you’re still a follower of merlin, and if merlin thinks this could give you an edge, well, who are you to question his methods

doesn’t mean you aren’t nervous as your master hands you the bottle

yet you don’t even hesitate to drown yourself in the black abyss of the tub

whatever it takes amirite?

and now you’re a half-troll

a sexy half-troll, if you do say so yourself

yeah, no ‘i’m a monster’ angst here, you’re loving the power-up

you’ve got to treat it like a cool new power-up or you will cry actually tbh i lied about the no-angst thing a new body is disorienting

your only real concern is douxie

not concerned for long tho, he sees you and the first thing out of his mouth is “nuclear!”

and he senses your concern, so he does go out of his way to assure you that boy, girl, enby, or half-troll, he loves you for your soul, darling

also again half-troll! you is hot as hell so he’s not really losing anything here 👀

he makes sure you know that too, not to let any insecurities fester

him raking his eyes up and down you gives the opposite effect of the dread merlin sent down your spine doing it

anyways,,,

doux helps out a lot more in the eternal night

like helps merlin re-defeat and re-seal morgana

he’ll do it again in few weeks but with a bigger role you know, this is practice

thank merlin for that edge YOU ARE THE LAST TROLLHUNTER YOU ARE VICTORIOUS YOUVE GOT GUNMARS HEAD IN YOUR HANDS HAHAHA

but now you’ve got to go to new jersey

douxie’s been instructed to stay in arcadia tho 🥺

it’s okay, you’ll see each other again soon

sooner than you realize

and until then you talk each other to sleep every night over the phone <3

merlins glad, actually. he’s glad hisirdoux found some solace. even if it is with the lamb he was raising for the slaughter. maybe things will go okay for them. the time map suggests it might be so

hisirdoux may have done things in a way he didn’t quite approve of, but that’s because he’s becoming his own wizard, and merlin is proud

[thecringefailintherye]

Oliver! (1968) Live (re) watch!

i have already seen oliver!, but not in ages, so i decided to watch it again, enjoy

very long post warning

fuckin hell these opening credits are LONG

i love the fact instrumentals of songs in the movie are playing

i have chocolate popcorn, apple lucozade and oliver! on, life is good

yes i know mark lester is oliver ive seen this like 20 times can i watch the film now

OH ABOUT FUCKING TIME

god is love

IS IT WORTH THE WAITING FOR IF WE LIVE TILL 84 ALL WE EVER GET IS GRUELL

i forgot how much of a banger food glorious food is

LOOK AT BABY MARK LESTER 🥺🥺🥺

ads in middle of movie be like

its harry secombe!

AMENNNN

oliver gets bullied the movie

look at this poor kid

MOREE????????

oh yes oliver i love this song

O L I V E R

poor kid

without any bannister yikes

the one who named him........O-L-IV-ERRR

oh were outside now

olivers just been kicked out oh shit

but on the plus side he has a cute ass hat on

BOY FOR SAY AL

look at oliver 🥺 he deserves better

SOWERBERRY MORE LIKE SHITTERBERRY

theres a severe lack of thats your funeral and i shall scream

noah claypole more like noah clayprick

“perhaps... if i had a tall hat?” BABEY

HES GOT HIS TALL HAT ON YES OLIVER

oliver said dab on them haters from your old gaff youre a funeral advisor now and theyre still homeless

DONT INSULT HIS MUM FUCK YOU NOAH

YES OLIVER KILL HIM

yes stuff the nine year old in a coffin and sit on it well done

"OLIVAH ??" "Yes im here: ((("

ITS MEAT!

oliver deserves better man 

im gonna cry and were like 25 minutes in.

ik its not mark singing but whoever it is CAN SING WTF

i want to give him a hug

OH SHIT HES RUNNING AWAY

hes in the lettuce

LONDON YOU MADE IT !

yes oliver trains exist

DODGER!!!

whach you starin at aint ya ever seen a toff

the beak

look at lil jack wild

me more hintimate friends

cockney accent™️

the artful dodga

CONSIDERR YOURSSELF AT HOEME COSNIDER YOURSWLF OEN OF THE FAMILY !!!!!!!!!!

im sorry i love this song

look this scene is awesome, but it would be COMPLETE with charley oh wait he was demoted to extra and everything interesting abt him was given to dodger

he should have gotten the nobody tries to be ladeeda or uppity bit I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL

this cast is BIG

okay i am a Charger Enthusiast but do we all agree there is something oddly homosexual about oliver and dodger in this song

note how dodger is scared of the police FORESHADOWING

ive taken to this SO STRONGITSCLEARWEREGOINGTOGETALONG

how many extras is this ???? yall better be gettin paid

its dodga comin up

this set is sraight out of the book i love it

CHARLEY MATE IM SORRY THEY MADE YOU AN EXTRA 

“oh not again” does dodger just always show up with random workhouse kids 

ah yes fagin the character whos still a negative jewish stereotype

more and more big cast

THESE SAUSAGES ARE MOULDY! (am i going to freak out whenever charley does anything because i love him? yes)

stfu drink your gin

is this a laundry?? no fam 

THE BEST FUCKING SONG IN THIS MUSICAL

IN THIS LIFE ONE THING COUNTS

sorry if i dont add to this until pick a pocket or two is done bc its a straight banger

this song is EVERYTHING 

hard at work lol ok

did he make those himself??? no

couple a wipes

EMBROIDERED THEM??? no

petition for all oliver twist adaptations to refer to charley as master bates like the book and for him to have actual lines and not have his actor switched at least three times

i dont even now who charley is at this point because his actor is switched many a time im just gonna say purple blazer kid is charley

anyway charley bates supremacy

whos bill sikes??? NO

fuck bill all my homies hate bill

rum tum tum is a banger

go bed now

take your hat off in bed dodger

movie fagin has rights

fagin leaving where will he go

BET IS THAT YOU

FUCK OFF BILL NO ONE LIKES YOU 

NANCY NANCY HES HERE !!!!!! bet deserves everything and more ily 💖

NANCYYYY!!!!!!

its a fine life more like its a banger

wheres all of bets lines gone

bet 🤝 charley (being demoted to extras)

its not funny anyore bet.. bet girl please sing youre the best fucking thing about this song

such a happy song about domestic abuse

THERE SHE IS THATS MY GIRL BET I FUCKING LOVE YOU

bullsye rights!

i hate how this movie made fagin more symathetic but he’s still a “greedy jew” stereotype

oliver?????

at this moment fagin knew he fucked up

nancy you deserve better than bill

oh hi dodger forgot you existed

and the rest of you except oliver

ah yes charley “sausages” bates i missed you

THESE FUCKING KIDS THEY ALL LOVE BET AND NANCY MY HEART

im a regular gent i am. no dodger you arent

why is “permit me to assist you across the road” so fucking funny

pov dodgers back on his bullshit so you have to pretend to be a horse and cart for him

not “sir artful” 😭😭😭

anyfink for youu

WHAT FISTICUFFS???!!!

i feel sorry for the child extras man theyve prob had to film this scene like ten times

THESE KIDS CAN SING

 the boys dancing with eachother is too fucking wholesome i love this

again, movie fagin rights

weed riissk lifee and limmbb

you promised we could go see the angin!!!!!

ats on boys time were off

THIS IS MY FAVOURITE SONG

HOW COULD WE LET HOW COULD WE FORGET OUR DEAR OLD FAGIN WORRY!!

mate that aint single file did you not hear him

am i the only one who can hear london bridge is falling down in the back??

our pockets hold a watch of gold that chimes upon the hour!!! a wallet fat an old mans hat!!! the jewels from the tower!!!

WE KNOW THE NOSEY POLICEMEENNNN

dodger and charley (i am SURE charley is purple blazer kid even if havent seen this film in ages) are GETTING INTO THIS

oliver 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

movie fagin rights pt 27238227

DODGER OLIVER COME ON!!!!!!!!! alright dude chill

ARE YALL SEEING THIS SHIT, I WAS RIGHT, I TOLD YOU THAT THE LAD IN THE PURPLE BLAZER WHO SINGS “a wallet fat an old mans hat” WAS CHARLEY BATES AND GUESS WHAT HE FUCKING IS. I WAS RIGHT, PURPLE BLAZER KID IS CHARLEY YOU CAN LEAVE NOW

no dont were only an hour in

three kids on the back of the omnibus what will they do

dodger and charley said be gay do crimes

ah shit now look what youve gotten us into dodger

IT WASNT EVEN OLIVER IT WAS CHARLEY AND DODGER GO AFTER THEM

are dodger and charley straight up framing oliver for a crime they commited while also helping him escape

yes they are why are we surprised 

i hate to break it to you dodger but hiding oliver in a meat sack doesnt work

OLIVERS ON THE ROOF????

charley and dodger got oliver into this mess and they are not going to get him out

WHY DIDNT YOU LOOK AFTER HIM????? right calm down fagin

how could i help it :((((

no bill!

stan nancy

“two other boys stole it” no shit

BROWNLOW !

run bitch run

right intermission time now

AND WE’RE BACK!

entr acte

who will buyyy

strawberry girl is carrying this

oliver owns my heart pt 278983728938728

this is a banger wtf

okay its done now right

right?????

UHH BILL???? DODGER???? BITCH WHY TF ARE YOU HERE

have bill fagin nancy and the boys been stalking oliver???

NO SHE WONT FAGIN!

shit.

fuck bill

this scene is far more sadder when you think of how the boys have just seen the only woman they see as a mother figure been hit to the flo or, im not crying, you are

as long as he needs me :(

FUCK YOU BILL

rose maylie is that you?!

look at lil oliver!!

BILL FUCK OFF

i hate bill

“look at his togs! he’s got books too!” charley and dodger are my emotional support kids

anyway have i mentioned i hate bill, bc i hate bill.

I REALLY REALLY HATE BILL

even fagin aka the guy whos keeping these kids as pickpockets has more morals than bill

WE STAY CALM!!

no bill i havent heard a dying chicken

act one was just childish antics now we have THIS

fuck bill

YOURE TELLING ME THE BOYS WATCHED THAT????

jack wild is a banging actor. he genuinely looks terrified 🥺 

this film.. 

a mans got a heart hasnt he?? yes you do!!!

a full song dedicated to movie fagin rights?? did i ghostwrite this?? probably

banger

ithinkidbetterthinkitoutagain!

villains theives and nine year olds

MR BUMBLE?????!!!!!!!!!!

fuck bill pt72898376728909878199

bill youre traumatising him

cmon nance do something!!

also completely forgot abt this but uh does monks exist in this i forgot bc we have had no mentions of him yet

nancy tell him who bill is!!!

bullseye deserves better

uhm what is going on

bill sikes more like bill yikes

oliver what are you doing

BILL TERRIFIES ME

FUCK

omg oom pah pah????

leave oliver alone bill hes like nine

oh banger

OOM PAH PAH THATS HOW IT GOES!!!!!!!!!

just asking are nancy and bet lesbians bc they look it

COULD IT BE OOM PAH PAHHHHHH

god i love this song

IT SHOOOOOWSSSSSS

its the same oom pah pah

“She was from the country but now shes up a gumtree she let a fella feed her then lead her a long” foreshadowiinnggg

OOM PAH PAH! OOM PAH PAH! OOM PAH PAH!

nancy is so fucking smart

getting the whole pub singing and dancing to smuggle out oliver? clever

fuck

bill.. no.. bill.. bill????

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKC

BILL GET OFF HER

NANCY NO

HE STRAIGHT UP COMMIT MURDER AGAINST THE NICEST CHARACTER

BROWNLOW DO YOU NOT HEAR NOTHING

nancy deserved a better death than to be killed by bill fuck bill

EVEN BULLSEYE HATES YOU BILL

ARE THEY ACCUSING BULLSEYE OF MURDER

FUCK YOU BILL

movie fagin rights + fuck bill combo?

youre telling me fagin had an ESCAPE ROUTE??? AT THE BOTTOM OF THE HOUSE THING??? THE WHOLE TIME???

BILL DONT KILL THE CHILD

BILL

fuck, well. #

“WHAT DO I DO!?” “LIVE UP TO YOUR NAME, DODGE ABOUT”

ten quid says dodgers been caught

oh no all fagins shit is gone

BILL DONT KILL THE CHILD PT 2

FUCK YOU BILL

GOD I HATE HIM

OLIVER MATE ARE YOU OK

never have i been so happy to see a character die

rest in shit bill

hi dodger thought you got caught n went to australia 

god, this film is so fucking good.

reviewing the situation 2.0 goes hard

MOVIE. FAGIN. RIGHTS!

FAGIN YOU CAN BE A GOOD MAN YOU KNOW YOU CAN

DODGER??????????

IM TOTALLY NOT CRYING RN

FAGIN NO DONT TAKE IT

FUCKING PLOTTWIST

IT MADE IT LOOK LIKE FAGIN WAS GONNA GIVE THE WALLET BACK TO DODGER BUT NO

once the villain you’re the villain to the end

i completely forgot abt this scene since i’ve been reading the oliver twist book and in that dodger gets arrested and fagin gets hanged but here they get away?

god this is bittersweet

I THINK WE’D OUGHT TO THINK IT OUT AGAIN!!!!!

thats where the film should have ended, i get olivers the main character but it ending on dodger and fagin walking out into the sunset is such a pleasing ending man

oliver gets his happy ending abt time

YES CONSIDER YOURSELF AND BE BACK SOON (THE BIGGEST BANGERS IN THE FILM) CREDITS SONGS!!

well.. that was a journey and half

[patchdotexe]

explorers of arvus: heading back / 3.11.21

zoom and enhonse

LAST TIME ON ARVUS taure passed out and we are now down a healer! also we met a disciple of halvkar, and surprisingly did not murder her. this is fine. we have instantly gotten distracted by our various carts. cats. our various cats

DID ANY OF US CATCH TAURE, SHE FELL OVER sieron tried to catch her and smacked charlie+thorne in the face (he rolled a nat1, f) BUT the catboy is to the rescue bc silje is the designated Not Incompetent of the group today

CONSULT THE CHILD hewwo yrel yrel: her mind is being consumed by the serpent of nightmares. :D charlie: HELLO?????//

so, dendar(?) the night serpent is imprisoned beneath arvus! she was formed from the nightmares of the first sentient being, and sometimes she eats people's nightmares. if she's exceptionally hungry, she'll force nightmares onto people for her to feed off their fear. yrel thinks taure will Probably wake up. there's a thing on arvus mentioned by the locals called a "sleeping sickness" where people will fall asleep for a few days, sometimes longer, but will wake up. its magical in cause, the people afflicted by it have horrific nightmares, and its just kinda. a thing. wowza

(i have gone back to spelling yrel's name as yrel bc i think it looks nice)

OH HEY SOMEONE POSTED A THEORY ON ONE OF MY STICKMOLUS ANIMATIONS man i should get back to stickmolus sometime. once dsmp releases its awful grip on me.

i keep getting distracted by seeing myself in the camera preview. i have a tooth gap! what the fuck its cute?? K I KNOW WE'RE SUPER BLURRY IN FRONT RN BUT PLEASE HELP ME STAY FOCUSED I SWEAR -leo

we're gonna build a sled! to put taure on. thorne: i have a good strength score. ....i say, out loud charlie: i am four feet tall. [cue argument between thorne & sieron about them both being horcs but sieron has a +0 bc strength is his dump stat] OH, OKAY, THORNE ROLLED A NAT20 TO CARRY TAURE. NICE

[discussion about what to tell everyone at camp vengenace] thorne: the last thing we need to do is a witch hunt charlie: --and we already hunted the witch! the witch has been hunted.

time to discuss strategy! we need to figure out how to head back to camp vengeance, eg if we want to follow the path we already took or if we wanna do some trailblazing. looks like we're gonna try and take the most direct path! which means we'll prolly risk tangoing with some undead but im willing to risk it TINY HUT STAIRCASE sorry i just remember it now and then

nyx: [meowing at his cats] thorne: uh... why is silje meowing? jorb: silje's food bowl is empty jorb: you look at silje's food bowl and there's a divot in the middle and the food is all on the sides emotionally, we must bully the catboy silje saw something interesting and started meowing

thorne: ill take first watch silje: ill also take first watch. charlie: [quietly] gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy (but, like, extended for 15 seconds)

silje: [takes watch] [rolls a nat1 and gets distracted by looking at his crush]

THORNE HAS LOCATED A DOG the dog does not give a shit about the tiny hut. THE DOG HAS PEED ON THE TINY HUT goodbye dog

EVERYONE IS ROLLING AT LEAST 1 NAT1 thorne: wow! that sure is a dog. thorne has drawn the worst possible dog. thorne has erased the worst possible dog. we dont speak of the worst possible dog its the dog version of honse. DONSE

sieron is now on watch! MAN we are havin trouble rolling today. at least kali's here to make sure sieron doesnt stare at a rock for 50000 years sieron sees a mouse! bottom text

charlie is now on watch! kali is havin a big ol thonk. nothing meaningful has come of this

i am perceiving some deer. sieron is not perceiving some deer. silje is perceiving some deer, but better the deer are fucked up and undead! silje has gone from "we should hunt these deer for food" to "we should hunt these deer for sport"

charlie: i do not feel like being jumped by five thousand skeletons

charlie takes first watch with sieron! WHY ARE OUR ROLLS SO TERRIBLE taure is super cursed right now. that's not very pog charlie: this place sucks. thorne: to be fair, we havent-- charlie: YOU'RE ASLEEP, SHUT UP

oh hey coolname galvanic finally partied. nice.

thorne is at watch! solar: hey, is leomund's tiny hut an orb? there's a critter digging around! AH, THE CRITTER IS UNDEAD. this could be a problem

solar: hey michael, how much does the horrific sin against god dog i drew look like this creature michael: [dice roll noises] about 50%.

michael: if anyone likes, they can make a nature check-- solar: ME MEMEMEMEME ME ME ME

its a bulette! aka a land shark. problem: they are not normally undead. this one is undead.

jorb: imagine if you could tame one of those and use it as a mount. leo: IT WOULD JUST DIG UNDERGROUND AND LEAVE YOU THERE

we are just calling it a weird dog

we're going to mail a letter to the heart of arvus. HEY, CHECK OUT THIS WEIRD DOG,

JORB FOUND ART OF A BABY BULETTE. WEIRD PUPPY!

solar: hey guys, check out this sick art of a bulette i found

silje kept a lookout for the weird dog but its just fucked off. goodbye, weird dog give it up for day 3!

man there's been like, three incinerations today in blaseball. what's up with that. I SWEAR IM MOSTLY PAYING ATTENTION its just been an eventful day in blaseball. also im wearing my garages bomber rn. jaylen is home wooOOOO the wind smells stinky. this is fine.

we're actively avoiding whatever combat michael keeps nudging at us bc we're carrying around an unconscious person and i SWEAR hes gonna throw something directly at us once he's done with our shenanigans

UHH MICHAEL ASKING FOR PASSIVE PERCEPTION LOL

huh. this place used to be inhabited? we're in the woods rn but there's some like, stone ruins? like, VERY ruins. like, not really any structures standing, but enough evidence to show there Were things. WE FOUND A STATUE charlie: i want to smash my face against the lore.

used to be a circle of standing stones, but most of em fell over or got overgrown. inside of the circle has been cleared, although v roughly-- ground's torn up statue is of fjolnir! warrior holding up a spear and shield. AH, THERE ARE CORPSES, a human got REAL fucked up here. one of the corpses is straight up impaled on fjolnir's spear. n ... not pog.

i am trying so, so hard to pay attention. but i also kinda wanna take a nap.

charlie: [stares at statue] [rolls a 4] i wonder if he had a dick.

okay so something rolled in, tore up the overgrowth inside the circle, and murdered a couple dudes. and was also super tall and human-adjacent. hrm.

oh my god why are we rolling so shit today. time to stealth away and hope we dont get casually dismembered

k: jorb's hair is so long... leo: K, PLEASE,

time for a break! i am very tired but im gonan see if i can push through a little further. nyx is petting his cat why do orangatangs look like that

first watch is thorne and sieron! have they even, like, talked thorne unhabby ): thorne's worried we were tresspassing when checking out the statue, meanwhile im thinking about that one time when sieron got bit by a groundhog

(oh my god this is from late 2018)

leomund's tiny hut, aka the anti-sea bear circle we are getting SO much mileage out of the tiny hut. SILJE HUMS A SONG WITH KALI cute........... FINALLY I HAVE ROLLED ABOVE A 14 wait no i rolled a 16 twice. anyway we are not dead

nearly at camp vengenace! boy howdy i hope camp vengeance didnt get burned down. AH FUCK TAURE IS UNCONSCIOUS SO WE CANT CAST FOR DETECT POISON kaepora nearly made us all shit ourselves but its okay he just saw some bison and thought it was cool Michael Is Consulting Several Tables

WHY DOES JORB'S CAMERA ZOOM LIKE THAT why am i hungry. i have so many questions

HEY, TALL GUY [smacks sieron]

camp vengeance looks better! like, nobody's Obviously Sick anymore, the medical tents arent overfilled, we did it! we saved the dayyyyyy time to report to ryder! taure's getting dropped off at the medical tent

man remember when charlie didnt wear pants

oh man, with taure unconscious charlie is now taking point with social interaction. wild. jk im making jorb do it bc im tired HAHA NAT 20 PERSUASION BC OF ME HELPIN SIERON man ryder is such a cock. he was totally ready to keep throwing troops at heaven's brazier to die until we managed to persuade him out of it. jorb: did we tell ryder about the vision? michael: you kinda just took a look at him and went STINKY BOY!

okay yeah anything that dies on arvus will just pop back up as undead. man, arvus sucks.

ryder: alright, dismissed. charlie: seeya, soldier boy! :D hahahahaha im gonna eat his knees.

SILJE NEEDS ENRICHMENT IN HIS ENCLOSURE

charlie: ive decided he sucks. silje: we've already arrived to that, you're late!

LMAO WE WALKED IN ON INGRID AND HER CRUSH they fuckin. nice. you go, you funky lesbian

jorb: we've got the tiny hut, we could go anywhere leo: we could go to SPACE! nyx: we could not go to space. leo: WITH A TINY HUT STAIRCASE, WE CAN,

we are 320 miles away from the spaceship that exists on arvus. nice.

michael: justin sees you-- roll a strength saving throw. leo: i cant wait to die! [rolls a 3] I AM CRUSHED BY MY DOG michael: he rolled a nat20.

BOSS ENCOUNTER: CHARLIE'S DOG (the small circle next to him is one of the medical tents.)

THORNE IS PACT OF THE GUN solar: PARRY THIS, YOU FUCKING CASUAL

sieron, to ingrid: seems like youve been doing well charlie: i punch sieron. sieron: sieron: the camp, of course.

man we have no idea if the heart of arvus is actually related to the prophecy or not. theres a Lot of stuff lining up, but not enough, and its hard to say how much of it couldve been literal?

solar & michael: [discussing exposition] me: [cracking up bc penn sent me a funny dsmp joke]

prophecies are weird.

charlie is just s she is just sitting here SILJE PLAYED CARDS REALLY GOOD AT ME nyx rolled a nat20 and took all my money

oh cool we can talk to yrel telepathically! time to hoist yrel. THIS IS SO SCUFFED thorne mentioned yrel and now we're trying to explain to ingrid that we have a magic talking snake charlie: I WANT TO GO HOME. thorne: we cant go, we have a GOD-KING to kill! "i think theyre insane, theyre talking to a snake" "ingrid, druids exist" "oh. im gonna go back to getting railed by my 7 foot tall girlfriend"

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Stay Safe (Early Years)

Summary- 3.7k Curtis Everett x Y/N. Curtis is appointed by McGregor as second and preparing for the McGregor Riots. Traumatic almost Non Con event described. Written by request for @that-damn-girl​. Thank you so much for your love of Curtis babes. This is a complete rewrite, I have another version that I might post later as a “this could have been what happened between these two” lol.

Curtis sat among the men, his back braced against the wall, listening. They were collected to hurry to Gilliams, which could only mean one thing. McGregor got word somehow about the next part of the plan, for the revolt. The revolt they been planning for the past two years, Curtis had just been allowed to join McGregors inner circle, and now he leaned forward to see a map of the train cars and McGregor had his finger on one. "The water car. This here is where we gotta get past. From what this map says, there is only one water car.” 

Curtis scanned the map, but it was so dirty and worn, it was hard to tell what else they were looking at. It seemed a good portion of the front end was sleeper cars, entertainment cars. The middle, working class. They were growing food, making goods, and what also looked like hospital cars. Then a few storage cars and finally water. It made no sense to Curtis why they would have the water car so far back, just before the prison. Shouldnt it be near the front?

“Okay, so we go take the water car, or get past it?” Another member asked, shrugging. “Its like 7 cars to get up to the water car. How much further do you want to go McGregor?” Absently McGregor scratched at his beard, thinking. “What do you think Gilliam, make it the goal to get up to at least these food cars? We need it, desperately. They been halving our rations for some time now.” 

“Tactic to weaken us.” Gilliam sighed, rubbing his face and leaning forward slightly on his cane. “They know were gonna feed our children first. Weve already proven that ages ago.” The mans rheumy eyes glanced at Curtis, who looked away from the gaze.

Curtis’s placed his palm against his arm, easily feeling the scar through the fabric of his jacket. Most everyone... The guilt of his actions in the past flashed across his face momentarily before going back to his cold demeanor. Clearing his throat, he spoke up. “Where did you even get this intel anyways? Does anyone know if this map is accurate?”

“Its accurate, I paid dearly for this, and lets leave it at that.” McGregor gruffly stated, agitated that he would be questioned. Curtis quieted his questions as McGregor continued, laying out the rest of the plan. Which was simple enough. The ones in the first row would charge the meager amount of guards who did the daily head count, and get a hold of there weapons. Keep one alive, that was the important part. They needed his accessibility to open the doors. “Remember, Keep at least one alive, prefer two though. Just in case.” He stressed to all of them. “Not a word to anyone either. This will all stay hush until were finally ready.” 

“When is that gonna be?” Curtis decided to question again, and Gilliam this time answered. “Its almost new years, and there will be more activity back here.” The whole group groaned. Every year Minister Mason brought the tail end boiled eggs, and did a long winded speech in several languages about how Wilford was the divine and merciful. “So after we cross the bridge and do the tail end mockery, we will start.” Gilliam rubbed at his face. “Okay, leave me now. I need to rest.” 

With shuffles the people started to filter out, when McGregor stalled Curtis from leaving, leaving just the three men left in Gilliams space. “Curtis, we needed to speak with you specifically.” McGregor said, and Gilliam nodded in confirmation. 

“What?” Curtis asked, his brows arching in question. 

“Im tempted to keep you from going son, simply because if something happens to me, I need you to take up this cause.” McGregor tapped on the map. And Curtis shook his head in confusion as to what he is saying. 

“I dont understand, nothing is going to happen, were going to make it to the food cars.” Curtis stated with conviction. 

“We probably will, but we also need to be realistic here Curtis. If we dont get that far, there needs someone to take right over and keep this up with Gilliam. Getting the people out of this cage is the most important. I know your young son, but people already respect you. Your cool headed and smart, I know I will be leaving it in capable hands. And its just a precaution. Plan B.” McGregor explained. “And no one but Gilliam knows, so dont go mentioning it to anyone.” 

Curtis nods, still trying to process, and he looks between the two men. “Im not sitting this out, I refuse to. Weve come to far to sit it out.” and the two other men shook there head. 

“We already figured you refuse to sit out, but your not gonna be in the very front in that initial charge, your going to bring along the rest until we at least get enough weapons in hand.” Curtis was glowering already at this news and before he could say anything, Gilliam said sharply. “Curtis its already settled. You will do this cause Im asking you to.” 

Blue eyes that were enraged shut down at those words, and he gave a nod. Turning, he ducked out, stuffing his hands in his jacket pockets, lost in his thoughts as he weaved around the people doing there usual activities. When a holler caught his attention, and lifting his gaze, he saw you with a whole pile of kids racing down the aisle. Grabbing one into a hug, your tickled him and he squealed, making all the kids twist back like a flock. They all tackled you, and you mocked scream, tumbling out of sight into a bunk with them. His worries temporarily set aside, he made his way down to where you all disappeared. 

“Y/N, you still alive in there?” He ducked down enough to look in, and your hand shot out to grab ahold of his, which he pulled you out, your face flush with laughter, and you grab a hold of his coat to steady yourself. “With those little hellions? Never... they make me so proud, I raised them to be ruthless.” Giggling while you are still trying to catch your breath and you wag a finger in the bunk. “You all better be hidden when I come back.” Hooking your arm through Curtis’s, you pull him away, still brushing your hair from your face and smiling up at him. 

“Where you been all day?” you questioned as the two of you walk away from the bunk, and the kids scramble out to go hide away from you, you glance over your shoulder to take notice where they are headed, not that there was many options for them to go. As long as they werent disturbing other people to much. Turning back to Curtis, you tilt your head to look up and study him, his face was clouded and agitated, you could see where he was tensing his jaw enough to tic, something was certainly on his mind. 

Giving you a side ways glance, he gave just one word and then it all clicked for you. “Gilliams.” Of course, not that you were exactly privy to it, but you heard the whispers making there way through the train. It was like a match sparked being thrown on gasoline, snaking its way among the people, giving them all hope, and restlessness. Already you seen a spike in your parents clinic of people getting into mild fights. Dabbing away at the cuts and scrapped knuckles, warning them to keep clean as possible cause infections set in so easily. 

It was a ignited fire that was only getting hotter with time. 

You press your shoulder against his to drag more words out of him. “What else Curtis?” He looks like hes about to say more, working the words up from his chest, his eyes sharp in there resolve, and before he can open his mouth to fill you in, McGregor comes up from behind, and clasps Curtis’s shoulder in greeting. “Hey you two, coming up to the front soon? They are about to hand out protein bars.” A look, one that you very well caught, passed between them. An uneasy feeling sinking in your chest. 

“Yea, we will be headed up soon.” Curtis snaps a bit at him, and you wrinkle your brow at the odd interaction. Curtis watched McGregors retreating back, and tugged you lightly off to a small cubby, you stumbling into the out of the way place between the pipework that crisscrossed in the space between some bunks. “Curtis? what is this about?” 

“Listen to me Y/N, shits about to happen. And its gonna be just what youve been hearing. Im sure you and your folks will be part of clean up, but promise me you wont leave this car till weve made it through, okay?” Curtis’s eyes searched yours looking for confirmation, anything that you were going to listen to him. A slight nod is given, and you pick at your hands before reaching out, and fisting your hands in his jacket.

“Dont fucking get killed either Curtis, promise me that, okay? I know your going to insist on going.” So matter of fact, you knew your friend, he wouldnt be able to live with himself otherwise. You watched him for years punish himself for his desperate acts in the past. That fear that anyone would hold it against him, the way he grasp at his arm when he thought it was all to good for him. You knew, Curtis still hadnt forgiven himself. 

“I wont, I promise...” Fake promises, he couldnt look you in the eyes when he said this, no one could never know if they will return once they leave this car, but your look made the man ache in his chest. How he wished he could bring back that smile you had on just minutes earlier. You shined, a softness in all this hellish darkness. You have been there for him since the beginning, you came right out of that darkness from where you were hiding with Mat and fell to your knees, trying to stop the bleeding where he tried to cut off his arm. Curtis didnt even know how to react that day, when you at 13 showed more compassion then any of the others did, then he did. Your eyes wide in your fear, and yet you refused to pull away from him “Its okay, you dont have to do this, see?” Your words still echoed through him. 

It just continued, always you were piecing him back together again, seeking him out to wrap an arm around him when he missed human touch, making sure he felt you vibrate against him in your laughter when you leaned against him, your grin seeking his to flutter for a moment on his lips, teasing voice singing his name.The times your tears soaked on his shoulder, your hug rattling in his hold as your sadness penetrated the anger. When did it all really matter that much he held onto you like a life line? His life line. At some point for him, you crossed that line as just friend. And he felt it blossom through him with a heated desire he never felt before. What would it be like.... to have you as truly his? Forever his? You were just to good for the like of him. He would be a dark mark on you,  scrubbing forever to rub out his stain. 

Curtis didnt know how it happened, but in that moment, he had to know. Had to know if you were just as soft in his arms as you were strong, and his hands moved to cup your face, your cheeks fingers pressing back into your hair, and that was just what he imagined, silken tendrils wrapping around his fingers. You went wide eyed in those seconds, and yet never pulled away as if he was scaring you in any way. Your eyes softened for him, and when he pulled you in closer, your head tipped to meet him. That first touch, a soft press of lips was innocent sweetness, soft brushes of lips and breaths. 

Your innocence certainly made him continue forward gently, a tilt of his head and soft nibbles on your lip, a press of his tongue made you open in surprise and he let that kiss deepen. You were clumsy in it, always a little behind, but Curtis led you with encouraging strokes, the whole sensation dragged out a moan from you, a flush of your body pressing into his. His hands tightened slightly in your hair, and breaking from you, his forehead leaning against yours with soft pants shared between you. No you werent his, but what he wouldnt give for you to be. He was still trying to calm the fire you laced through him in that kiss. 

“I promise... I will come back Y/N” Crystal blue eyed promises now, and you accepted it far better this time, your lips still tingling from the contrast of soft kisses and brush of bristling beard, to his tongue filling your mouth, laying claim to you as his. 

But havent you really been his for a while? Even when you didnt know it, he was your safety, your dark guardian. 

Always looking out for you, protecting you.  

Drawing your way out, you are sure to slide the curtain closed for your patients privacy, and start making another round to see to other people, chat with them, just see if they need anything in general. You dont notice the wandering eyes following you, weaving through the people till you got to a quieter part of the tail end. You didnt notice, not until its to late when an arm shoots out in front of you, making you pause momentarily as it blocked you. “What the... Eric, what do you want?” You try to duck under his arm, but the mans grasp on your arm pauses you. A glance his way showed a handsome young man, blond locks curling around green eyes, that glinted coldly at you, and he firmly without any choice of your own backed you against the wall. “See youve been playing little home nurse again Y/N”

“Just helping mom and dad, can you please let go?” You try tugging your arm from his grasp and his other hand came up to your face to trace the curve, obviously not ready to loosen his hold, for whatever reason you would clam up around him, your heart fluttering and your breath quickening. Some would think it was innocent attraction. But it was more fear of what he would eventually do to you if given the chance.

“When you going to let me kiss you huh? I dont see why you keep fighting me on this.” He hovered closer, his breath washing over your face and you wrinkle your nose at it. It was hot and sour to you, you tried to pull back but there was no where else to go, so the back of your head would thump against the cold metal wall.

“Im not, I dont want to and you cant change my mind.” You wriggle once more trying to get him to stop digging into your arm. “So how about you go find one of the other girls? I know there are plenty who want to be with you.”

“To easy, I rather like the one who denies me” His voice dropped deeper, making you panic sightly. His eyes, you hated the way he would stare at you, following you from wherever he was, like you were a prize to be had. "I figured it's about time I change your mind about it though." You strain out of his touch on your face and go to push against his chest to stumble him back.

"I said no! Fuck no would I ever be with you, let alone kiss you" you snap at him, turning to leave, put distance between you two, back in a crowd. Eric was to coward to try to anything with people around. He snarled though, wrapping an arm around you.

Effectively he pinned your arms helpless and your back against your chest, falling back harder then you expected, making you helpless, his hand clasped over your mouth, effectively muffling any protests you had. "What you think your to good for someone like me sweetheart. If your good enough to get Curtis's dick wet, think you can mine as well without this much of a fight." Your eyes widened at his words. I haven't, were not, stop!... Just friends, you think in as your panic is washing over you, and he manipulated your head to fall back to his shoulder, you try twisting out. Then he pressed his face in your neck, and bit you, what started as a sloppy kiss turned into a bruising bite, yelping at the shock of pain and you try kicking him hard enough in the leg behind you to drop him. The tread of your boot slid down the inside of his leg, and he pushed you away from him to crash you against the trains wall, hard enough to bounce you off, making you groan from the harsh impact.

Erics hand whipped you around, effectively pinning you with his body. No way to leverage a kick again, and hands pinned your arms down to keep from attacking. "Fucken shit head!" Your voice raised into yelling at him, where was everyone? It was eerily quiet and no one around, he smirked at your struggles, dawning on you when you saw how turned on, felt how turned on. That foreign bulge dug into your belly. "Keep struggling Y/N, just makes me hard for you, so cute thinking you don't want this."

"Your vile Eric, like those front end pigs" nothing but disgust dripping from your tone, trying to hide your fear. But he knows, it just widens his predatory grin knowing your words were masking the fear coursing through your veins. His lips hovered so close, mocking tone as he brushed them barely against yours, as you tried tilting your face away. “Come on Y/N, just one little kiss for me. Do it and I will let you go.”

You glare at him and spit, right in the fuckers face, it runs down his eyes and nose, and you smirk at him as he starts cussing and wiping his face on his sleeve. “You little fucking cunt whore! Nasty pig think you can get away with that shit?!” His hand releases you and goes to hit you when a grasp catches his wrist, wrenching it back. Both yours and Erics eyes go wide in surprise, and you see Curtis glowering behind him, firmly twisting Erics arm hard, then harder again he snarls out. “She sure as fuck is gonna get away with it. I think she told you no”

Curtis jerked Erics arm further and a crack was followed by Eric screaming and letting you go, you slid away from his grasp, Curtis jerking him forward to take where he had you pinned before. They were evenly matched in size, but Curtis had him crushed between his body and metal, his face distorted as you glanced up. It struck you in this moment just how opposite these two men were. Curtis never once raised his voice in the time youve known him,but he had to raise above Erics squealing out in pain and anger. “When a person tells you no, It fucking mean no. You owe Y/N an apology.” He pulled Eric off the wall, and kicked at the back of his knees to drop him in front of you.

Curtis loomed over him, his arm still firmly twisted up between his shoulder blades, and growled in the mans ear. “Say it, or Im going to wrench it right off your body.”

“Im sorry!” you could see the effort it took Eric to say it, but Curtis clearly wasnt satisfied.

“AGAIN!” This time he really roared, Eric cowering a bit, and remorseful, he started again.

“Im sorry Y/N, I promise to never touch you again!” Curtis glances at you and nods that its okay, he had him firmly and you stepped forward, grasping the mans hair, and tipping his head back.

“Touch me ever again, or ANYONE on this train, your dead, do you hear me Eric? I will have no problem watching you die, either by my hand or another. Am. I. Fucking. CLEAR?”

“Yes! god yes, just let me go, it wont happen again.” Eric pleads, and you step away from Eric, and circle around to Curtis’s side. Shoving him harshly away, Eric rolled to a stand and clutched his arm, racing away as fast as he could. The coward, would probably make up some lie to cover face when he made it to your father to reset the arm. You stood next to Curtis, still fuming. Your fear from earlier forgotten, now you were just enraged watching where the coward disappeared.

“Hey, he aint gonna try messing with you again.” Curtis let his hand rest against your shoulder, looking down at you.

And thats what Curtis always did, he never expected more from you, not a thank you, not any kind of favor. He simply needed you to be safe, that was all he ever asked for from you. It was something that you could give him, he so desperately needed. 

You lick your lip, they are still swollen from the kiss, and you blush just a bit at the memory of his mouth on yours. He tipped his head, letting his thumb brush lightly on your cheek and he moved to kiss your forehead. 

“Thank you for that Y/N.” and you shifted in closer to press your face against his chest, your arms sliding around his torso, just holding him, memorizing this feeling right here, cause your first kiss, shook the words right out of you. 

You didnt know what would happen in the days to come, but you knew that right now, things between you two changed, having finally crossed that line. 

Tags-  @jtargaryen18 @what-is-your-plan-today @official-and-unstable-satan @p8tn0lish @stardancerluv @princess-evans-addict @patzammit  @that-damn-girl @curtisbbq @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123 @thatweirdwalangpake

[roxasboxas]

A while back, I joked about rewriting the Frozen world from KH3. I’m excited to announce that I now have a full draft of the return notes I’d submit of someone gave me a concept write-up of the way that the world actually turned out. Draft under the cut

Outline

SDG arrive and immediately encounter Larxene

Sora: “Hm you’re not a vibe but I don’t know you” Larxene: “You’re a rude bitch for forgetting me like that” Sora: “Wait I do know you?” Larxene: “>:) do you >:)”

She’s like “anyways off to torment a princess of heart laterz” and Sora’s like “well obviously we have to go stop that from happening”

They run around for a bit and encounter Elsa who is fleeing Arendelle

Sora: “Hi we’re--” Elsa: “OH FUCK A DUDE” *ice labyrinth* SDG: “oh fuck an ice labyrinth”

Larxene shows up in the ice labyrinth like “HA suckers. Elsa’s gonna turn to darkness because of her fuckin anxiety and shit. We’re gonna get Nobody Elsa. Lexsa or some shit” and Sora’s like “she just needs a hug :(“ and Larxene’s like “are you fucking dense?? She doesn’t want a hug???” and then she leaves

SDG escape the ice labyrinth

Encounter: Anna

Anna: “hey have you seen my sister” Goofy: “whats she look like” Anna: “white hair--” Sora: “oh yeah we saw her. I think she needs a hug” Anna: “she TOTALLY needs a hug let’s go”

They go to Wandering Oaken’s Trading Post And Moogle Shop and get supplies

Kristoff shows up and homeboy is FLAT BROKE

Anna: “hm. What do yall make of that guy?” Sora: “I think we should help him out” Anna: “:0 you’re right let’s go” Donald and Goofy: “oh shit there’s two of them”

They buy him stuff

Kristoff: “Thanks” Anna: “can u take us up the mountain pls” Kristoff: “no” Sora: “ah but see. Youve failed to consider something” Kristoff: “?” Sora: “im baby” Kristoff: Sora: Kristoff: “FINE”

So theyre on their way (hooray!)

Larxene shows up again like “LOOK. whether or not she falls to darkness isnt even any of your business. just leave her be to figure her shit out” and Sora’s like “are YOU gonna leave her be?” and Larxene is like “this aint about me” and Anna’s like “it is now bitch” and Larxene leaves bc shes the only one allowed to swear

But she leaves them with a bunch of wolf heartless

Kristoff: “oh shit evil wolves” Anna: “not to be confused with regular wolves” Kristoff: “exactly”

Olaf time

Olaf: “Hi! My name is Olaf and I’m a representation of how much Elsa has missed Anna since she started repressing her powers and how much she still loves her and wants to spend time with her again” Goofy: “What?” Olaf: “I SAID my name is Olaf and I like warm hugs :)”

Some various shenanigans idk

Arrive at the ice castle

Anna: “Hi Elsa! :)” Elsa: “oh shit” Anna: “pls can u unfreeze Arendelle” Elsa: “would if i could. Get out of my house” Anna:

Sora: “hi again! :)” Elsa: “Please don’t be mad about the ice labyrinth and also please get out of my house” Sora: “im not mad dw i understand youre going through a lot rn which is. a BIG ol mood” Elsa: “.......” Sora: “do you wanna go home now?” Elsa: “i live here now” Sora and Anna: “Oh :(“ Elsa: “oh shit theres two of them”

Anna is very insistent about going home and Elsa accidentally freezes her heart and FREAKS. OUT.

The Gang Gets Banished

Olaf: “well that could have gone better” Anna: “you’re telling ME” Kristoff: “alright lets go visit my family they can fix this”

The trolls: “we cant fix this. get married” Anna: “WHAT ok” Kristoff: “i feel like there are other options” The trolls: “nope. Get married”

Kristoff: “Anna is engaged to someone else” Sora: “maybe they were talking about him then” The trolls: “we were no--” Kristoff: “good call. Let’s go”

They go back to Arendelle

They happen to arrive back at the same time as the ‘taking Elsa prisoner’ gang

Sora: “this is not conducive to her mental health” Donald: “since when do we know what mental health is?” Sora: “I’m gonna need so much therapy when the universe is not in constant danger :)”

Hans is like “I’ll take care of Anna you all can go home” and Sora is like “Cool we’re gonna help a snowman climb in through your window byeeee”

The plot twist of Frozen happens

Anna and Olaf are on their way to Kristoff

Hans tries to kill Elsa but she becomes a boss battle so SDG have to step in to keep everyone from dying out here

Anna gets in the way of Elsa’s limit break and freezes, shielding her newfound friends and preventing her sister from becoming a murderer in an act of true love and self sacrifice

Elsa reverts to regular mode and cries

Larxene shows up for boss fight two electric boogaloo

SDG beat her up

Anna gets better

yaaaaaay

[benexolence]

Tense (M) pt.1

CEO!Park Jimin x Reader

Word count: 5.4k

Rating = M, F (it was hard not to put fluff in, i’m too soft for chimmy)

SUMMARY: You’ve been subtly teasing your stressed-out boyfriend over the past couple of weeks, and you push him a bit too far at a company dinner, making him want to show you what it’s like to be frustrated.

Warnings: dom!jimin, daddy kink, dirty talk, exhibitionism, degradation, slight-ish possessiveness (bruh IDK), fingering

A/N: There are two parts to this fic! This was originally gonna be a oneshot but it would’ve been MONSTER to post LMFAO but I’ll post pt.2 within the next 2 weeks! Stay tuned :-) ****PART 2 IS OFFICIALLY POSTED! LINK TO PART 2 IS IN MY MASTERLIST!

Jimin had been very tense for the past couple of weeks. Being the CEO of BigHit, there was already a lot riding on him. Recently, his company bought out another company, BT21 and although this transaction would be beneficial for the future of his company, it didn’t necessarily mean that his transition would be smooth. If anything, it was putting a lot of weight on his shoulders, trying to figure out which workers to lay off or what sectors to change entirely, through the means of endless meetings, soon became excruciating. There were so many things to be done, and there wasn’t enough time in the day to complete everything. The tight pressure started to build in his shoulders and his mind as the lack of sleep from early mornings and late nights as the weeks went on. Jimin swore that he began to feel his brain melting.

It didn’t help that he start to see his love less and less. The quality free-time he’d usually spend with you decreased dramatically, turning the salacious sleepovers nearly every weekend into occasional Facetime pillow-talks that would end quickly since he’d almost immediately shut his exhausted eyes once his head hit the soft pillow. He just missed you, so much. Not being able to see you was like trying to substitute ranch for chocolate in a cake and it just didn’t work with him.

At night. Jimin is a needy boy, so destitute that the dreamland that he briefly arrived in every night was scent and taste of the juices that would fall between your thighs as you scream for him to give you more. His mind was clouded with clips of your writhing body, all nice and sweet, just for him. Jimin swore that he’d wake up to your whimpers echoing throughout his bedroom, only to find that you’re not there but his hard-on was painfully present. You couldn’t leave his mind. His lust was overflowing, and he even tried jerking off with his non-dominant hand, nothing worked.

For you, on the other hand, things were going pretty decently. You didn’t have much to complain about; you just got a raise at work, all your old friends were back in town, things were going pretty well for you. So, it was a bit amusing for you to hear all of this happening. You missed him greatly, and you longed to see him, but you were thankfully distracted by the better things happening in your life. You were worried about your boyfriend, but it’s uncommon to hear him whine for you and you felt a bit a pride when he’d tell you about how much he and his dick missed you. So to add to your amusement, you’d send some inappropriate pictures along with detailed texts of how much you desired him. When you went out with your friends, you would take a picture of yourself in a scandalous dress to rile him up a bit for the night, only to take that dress off after the image was sent, then change into something that you were a bit more comfortable in, (without him knowing of course). When Jimin was provoked in such a way, it always ended in ground-breaking sex. You still loved the fact that Jimin was a compassionate lover, it’s just that you didn’t see that dominant side of him very often and sometimes, you needed him to be a little bit rough.

Tonight was the first night that you would see Jimin after such a long time. There was a company dinner to celebrate the end of this chaos, and it was a perfect time to see you. Jimin liked to think of your presence as a gift to himself, for working himself to the bone. Both of you and him were giggling like children all day because it’s been so long and the two of you would finally fill the gnawing hole that’s been heavy on the two hearts. You wanted this night to be perfect, so you spent hours just picking and choosing the color scheme for your outfit deciding to go with a simple and sophisticated approach. Although you wanted Jimin to be the happiest tonight, you felt a throbbing need for something rough as the little devil on your shoulders convinced you to egg him on a bit. You decided to keep the egging to a slight minimum, and you went for the little black dress with a simple set of jewelry and light makeup that gave you a natural look. The dress did wonders to accentuate your curves, and you had an inkling that Jimin might go mad when he sees your outfit. It was perfect for setting off his mood, in the direction you prefer.

Jimin felt that it was crucial that he’d pick you up tonight. It was vital for him to have at least five minutes of alone time with you in the car before you two spent the next few hours with a garden of people he didn’t really care for; he’d probably only be focusing on you anyway. He was also hoping to convince you to let him sleep over for the night, already packing his things for the night because the answer will always be some form of “yes.” Jimin felt that spending these hours with you would melt away all the weight that’s been straining his body. He didn’t care if he was between your thighs or laying by your side, he just wanted to spend some time with you.

Jimin threw his overnight-bag in the backseat of his car and texted you a quick “on my way sweetheart” before rushing himself over to your apartment, almost running a few red-lights because he couldn’t wait any longer. He couldn’t stop smiling; he was excited to see his girl after so many weeks.

It was the same way with you after you got his text, you practically had a face tattoo of a smile. You rushed to the bathroom, looking at yourself in the mirror to make sure that you looked perfect. As you fixed yourself up in the few minutes you had left, memories of the times where Jimin left you breathless made you excited. Your cheeks became flushed with such crude thoughts led you to think of possible ideas to ensure your demise tonight.

You were pulled back to reality as you heard a knocking at your door. The excitement came back in seconds as you ran to the door and swung it open, to find Jimin looking at you with nothing but pure love. You were in awe by his choices for his appearance tonight. Jimin wore an all-black suit, without a tie, giving a bit of a casual feel. He wore a gold necklace, and he parted his hair so a bit of the center of his forehead being shown.

Both of you took a few seconds to accept the fact that both of you are together again before he quickly grabbed your arm so you’d fall into his arms. Jimin hugged you tightly, almost like he was afraid that if he let go, you would never come back. He buried his face into your neck, and you could feel him smiling.

“I’ve missed you so much” Jimin whispered softly into your neck, leading you to giggle as his breath tickled your skin.

“But I talked to you yesterday” You chuckled softly, thinking about the Facetime call that only lasted three minutes before Jimin started snoring.

“I fell asleep! How in the world does that count?” Jimin started to swing around, with you in his arms, “Did you not miss me? Not only a little bit?”

“Maybe, maybe not. It doesn’t matter because you’re always asleep when I try to talk to you anyway.” You say with a sassy tone before escaping his grasp to turn around and walk further into your apartment, looking to grab your purse.

“Y/N, baby please” Jimin whined as he followed behind you. You could already tell that there was a pout on his face by the tone of his voice. You found your purse, and you started to look through the bag, making sure that you had everything you needed. Before you realize it, Jimin was standing right in front of you, slightly stomping his feet. “Baby, I’m sorry for falling asleep all the time, but that doesn’t mean you get to ignore me.”

Looking at his upset face, you realize that you definitely can’t be bratty right now. He’s too damn cute, and you couldn’t resist it, not after such a long time. You smile at him, “You’re lucky that I have the biggest soft spot for you. I’ll forgive you this time.” But your last few words are meaningless because you’ll always forgive him for anything, leading you to let out a chuckle.

Your laugh was cut short when Jimin suddenly cups the apples of your cheeks, looking at you with appreciation. “Seriously though, I am sorry. You don’t understand how hard it’s been for me, not being able to talk to you. I’ve missed you more than anything.”

Jimin never failed to make you feel loved. There was never a time where you felt unappreciated and unwanted by him because he always did everything in his power to make sure that those thoughts would never cross your mind. Although there has been a lack of presence in the past few weeks, there were no worries that arrived in your mind because he still tried to talk to you, even if his sleepiness won most of the time.

“It’s okay, Jimin. I know that you’ve been busy, so it’s alright. I’ve missed you too.” You spoke softly.

“I love you, sweetheart,” Jimin whispered before pulling you forward to kiss your forehead. He let go of your cheeks, only to slide his hands into yours. He pulled you towards the door, “Now, l wanna get there early so I can sit in the car and shit on the idiots that we’re gonna be near tonight.”

You laughed as the both of you left your apartment and set route to the restaurant.

The car ride was filled with nothing but laughter and joy as you both exchange memories that occurred over the past few weeks. Both you and Jimin felt absolute elation; nothing was better than being in the company of someone you love. Soon, both of you were parked outside of the restaurant, shit-talking about the coworkers that made his life an absolute nightmare over the past couple of weeks. Irritation started to seep into Jimin’s bones as the anger over their actions came to mind. You notice Jimin’s change of tone, and you felt the need to calm the fire that was growing in his mind. You moved your hand to give a calming rub on his bicep, “You don’t have to worry about it now. The past is the past, and now you can focus on the success that’s gonna be rolling your way.”

Jimin looked to your smiling face, but his eyes slowly followed the length of your dress, his pupils dilating in mixed emotions over how noticeable your legs were in the dress. Suddenly, his mind went through to all the frustration he felt with you during your absence; seeing you in such revealing attire, hearing about how much you need him, all the subtle teasing that you’ve been pulling over the past few weeks that would always leave him with an erection. All emotions came racing back to his mind and his cock, making him feel nothing but tense again. The current state of your naked legs started to tease him a bit, Why is she wearing that dress right now? To fucking spite me? God, in the very moment, he just wanted to fucking explode.

His ring-covered hand went straight for your thigh, squeezing the soft skin in a vice-grip. Your eyes went straight to his hand as you gasped at the cold feeling of his rings. You look up to Jimin’s face, only to find the irises of his eyes slowly disappearing to black, mixed with lust and vexation.

His voice comes out low when he initially speaks, “Y/N, that dress--” Jimin takes a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves from thinking illogically. It’s just a dress. There’s nothing to it. She isn’t trying to pull anything with me. “It looks stunning on you” Jimin plants a smile on his face as he squeezes his grip on your thigh a bit harder, leaving an imprint of his rings. Momentarily, he decided that your teasing would be a topic of discussion for later that evening, it would be such bad timing to discuss something like that right now.

Although you were taken back by the quick change in emotions that you just witnessed, it still didn’t stop your stomach from doing flips from his compliment, knowing that it’s genuine. But what lingered in your mind was the reason for the sudden emotional changes, reasons that you already knew. You could see the tension in his jaw as a vein comes to the surface of his neck, which just sent electricity straight downward. You spoke, “Thank you, Jimin.” It seems as if your plan is working, you had a reassuring thought about how the subtle hints work the best. All you wanted was for him to take you in the car at that moment, you didn’t necessarily want to wait any longer.

There were a few moments of silence before Jimin’s phone buzzed. He pulled his phone out to see one of his favorite colleagues texting him.

[6:03 pm] Kim Taehyung: I know you don’t want to be here, but that doesn’t mean you and Y/N can avoid the dinner by sitting in the car until it’s over.

Confused by Taehyung’s knowledge of his location, Jimin looked up from his phone and searched from outside the window, only to find that his colleague leaning against the car parked right next to him. Jimin got out of the car to greet him, “Thank god that you and Y/N at least here with me to get through this.”

Taehyung chuckled and gave Jimin a quick side hug, “I honestly don’t know how you and I got through this past quarter. I can’t wait to sit with you and see what you do as a consequence for everyone.”

Taehyung was the CFO of the company, but also a life-saver for Jimin for the past few years. Jimin and Taehyung had been very close friends since college, and it’s been an absolute relief for Jimin to have him in the company. Taehyung took more of an emphasis on finance rather than sales, unlike Jimin; which was helpful since there was no competition in success or jealousy in career advances between them. Either way, Taehyung, and Jimin climbing up the career ladder together, eventually landing executive positions in the same corporation.

You got out of the car as well and walk over to the two boys with a smile on your face. You were happy to see Taehyung. “Taehyung! How have you been? It’s been so long!” You gave him a quick hug, and as you let go, you notice Taehyung’s lingering gaze on your legs as he takes hold on both of your hands.

“I’ve been good, Y/N! I don’t think I need to ask you how you’ve been doing since you look lovely tonight.” Taehyung smiles with a toothy grin before letting go of your hands and looking at Jimin, “You gotta be careful Jimin. You might have to keep an eye on Y/N because you don’t wanna lose a girl like her so easily.” Taehyung was always a flirty guy, but he never meant any harm, of course, he just liked to tease Jimin a bit.

Usually, Jimin would joke around about how Taehyung would never end up with anyone but his assistant, Jungkook, but right now, it was not the time for Taehyung to even glance at his girlfriend’s figure for any more seconds. Jimin needed to keep himself control, he needed to stay calm. Jimin joked with a little strain in his voice as you and him starting walking towards the restaurant, “I don’t need to keep an eye on her when you have googly eyes for your assistant. Which by the way, I know you’ve been fucking, I saw the way he looks at your ass.”

“Jungkook looks at everyone’s butt! I saw him looking at your butt the other day! Either way, he’s a man-child, and I’m nurturing him for the real world.” Taehyung raised his voice while running behind the both of you, trying to deny the truth that he’s been trying to hide from everyone.

“Yeah yeah yeah, whatever you say Tae,” You turn towards Taehyung and continued. “We’ll always love you. You don’t have to hide your love for him forever.” You chuckled as you watched Taehyung start yelling nonsense as to how he’s definitely not with Jungkook and how he definitely hasn’t seen him every night for the past three weeks.

Jimin felt a bit of relief when he heard Taehyung’s babbling and your various sayings of “it’s okay, don’t worry.” I’ll be okay. Things will be fine. He reassured himself before all the three of you entered the restaurant and started to greet coworkers.

Dinner was not fine, and things were not okay. For some fucking reason, all male eyes of Jimin’s coworkers were staring at your chest throughout the evening. Jimin swore that he saw his coworker wipe the drool off his chin from staring too long. Not only that, some damn waiter named Hoseok even started fucking flirting with you, right in front of Jimin. It seemed like every male-body who was in your presence eye-fucked you, even with Jimin’s eyes sending fire to anyone who looked lustfully towards your body. Jimin wanted to spank your ass and fuck you on the goddamn dinner table every passing moment, to show everything that you belong to him and only him.

For you, on the other hand, your plan was going smoothly. You noticed the slow transition of Jimin’s mind from neutral to sour. You saw him sending fiery stares straight ahead, losing himself in the flames of his imagination, and you couldn’t help but cheer happily in your mind. But obviously, you couldn’t display your joy to the world. You saw that he barely took a bite of his entree and you decided to act the part as the caring girlfriend for the time being. “Hey honey, is everything okay? You haven’t touched your food.”

Jimin took a deep breath before turning to you, wanting to answer your question with kindness, “Um, yeah baby. It’s alright. I’m just not that hungry right now.” He pulled a quick smile for you before moving his fiery eyes to his plate, slowing moving to eat his food on his plate.

You knew he needed a push, a slight nudge towards the fall that you so desperately needed to feel all over your body. So you decided to start a conversation with Taehyung. It seemed that the boy had a bit too much to drink and you knew that Taehyung is a lot more flirty when he’s tipsy. You spoke with a bit of prep in your voice to the buzzed man across from you, “How are you feeling tonight, Tae? It looks like you’re having a good time.”

Taehyung turned to you with a grin on his face and started to laugh, “Y/N, I always have a good time with you around.” He leaned in and continued to spoke, “Did I tell you that you look lovely tonight?”

You giggle before answering his question, “Yes you did, Tae. You don’t remember?” You reciprocated his actions and moved towards him, so it looks like you’re only focused on him.

“Well, scratch that, because you look fucking ravishing right now.” Taehyung’s baritone voice seemingly got lower than you expected.

“Taehyung!” You started to giggle, even more, exaggerating your actions, “You don’t mean that”

Taehyung leaned in even closer, “Oh darling,” His eyes looking at your body, leaving his eyes to stalk your chest. “I mean every word I’ll ever say to you.” His voice was husky, and it just leaks with danger. This is precisely what you needed. This is the push that Jimin needed.

And you were right because Jimin was fucking boiling with sheer anger. Taehyung called you “ravishing,” he fucking leaned into you, like you didn’t belong to him. And you were just sitting there, taking it. Not even acknowledging the fact that your boyfriend was sitting right next to you, watching the entire thing. Maybe you were doing this on purpose. Perhaps you actually have been fucking with him for the past few weeks. Either way, the only thing that mattered to Jimin is to show that you fucking belong to him.

Once again, you jumped in your seat as the coolness of Jimin’s rings touch gripped your thigh. You felt him squeeze your skin before his thumb starts rubbing gentle circles. You turned to him, and his eyes were trained entirely ahead, engaging a conversation with one of his coworkers. You leaned back into your seat, heavily distracted by the distance between his hand and your clothed core. You took a deep breath to relax before continuing your conversation with Taehyung, but how can you focus when his hand is subtly teasing you under the table?

“Tae, I think you’ve had a bit too much to drink.” You spoke as your mind tried to force on the man ahead of you. But unfortunately for you, Jimin knew what you were doing so his hand decided to follow the direction of your body, sliding underneath your dress. He squeezed again, leading you to squirm slightly in your seat. You tried so hard to listen to Taehyung ramble on about how sober he is, but it felt like there was barely any oxygen in the room at the moment. You started to lean forward again, to look like you’re interested in what he has to say but as soon as you began to move, Jimin’s hand moved to your core, lightly rubbing you through your panties. You yelped in surprise, causing all eyes to move towards you.

“Baby, are you okay?” Jimin sounded so sincere, but he already knew your answer. He started rubbing you a bit harder, causing you to squirm even more in your seat. Your breaths started to shake as you realized how mortifying this situation was; everyone was staring while your boyfriend rubbed your clit in a public restaurant. But somehow, you felt exhilarated at such a display, leading to the coil to tighten in your stomach.

“Yeah, I’m f-fine.” You needed to keep your responses to a minimum. You couldn’t let anyone know the truth behind your dishonest words. You’re not fine. You’re fucking fantastic because Jimin has finally touched you, something you’ve been waiting for a long time.

“Are you sure? You sound a bit anxious.”  Jimin’s fingers moved your panties to the side. His middle finger slipped inside your folds, teasing your hole.

You knew if you opened your mouth, you would start whimpering, so you nodded your head towards Jimin and threw a weary smile on your face. You looked around to find that the eyes of his coworkers were off of you now. Jimin leaned in closer to your ear and spoke, “Baby, you better fucking speak up right now, or I wouldn’t touch you for another month.”

All you wanted to do is whine and let Jimin do sinful acts to your body, but you knew that this side of Jimin wouldn’t be tame unless you listen to his words. “Yes, I’m okay Jimin.” You whispered softly.

You heard Jimin sigh, and it sounded like he was frustrated with your answer. He impulsively pushed his middle finger inside, pumping it at a slow pace. Jimin moved again to your ear, “That’s not my name tonight. Tell me, baby, what’s my name?”

His fingers were going agonizingly slow, but since your body has been so unsatisfied for the past few weeks, the pressure seemed to double. You could barely answer his question without focusing on the sharp sparks that coursing throughout your body. You don’t call Jimin anything else besides loving pet names and his actual name. What could he possibly be asking for?

Before you could think about it any further, Jimin added another finger inside you. A small mewl crawled from your mouth as you leaned towards Jimin, hiding your face in his shoulder. “I-I don’t know.” The build of your impending orgasm was growing faster, leaving your body to be shaking by his side. You were trying so hard, but it’s just so hard when everything is turning you on.

Jimin curled his two fingers to your g-spot, leading you to whine into his dress shirt. Jimin chuckled, happy to see you withering for him so quickly. His voice was stern when he started whispering again, “It seems like you’ve been missing Daddy’s fingers, huh?”

Daddy? He’s never called himself that before. Jimin has never brought that kink up but how does it matter now when he sounds so fucking hot talking to you like that? His fingers start moving faster, and your legs start shaking. He’s curling his fingers with each thrust, and the burning-pleasure is leaving your mind blank. You gotta warn him of how your end is almost near, “D-Daddy, I’m close.”

“Awh baby, you’re close? You like it when Daddy finger-fucks you under the dinner table, with everyone around us?” His words are only bringing you closer to your end, and you were struggling to keep your composure.

“Y-Yes, Daddy” Your voice was shaking, and you look up to Jimin, only to see his eyes filled with nothing but black lust.

“Of course you do. How can you not? A slut like you love everything that’s done to them. Do you even know how dirty you are?” Such a name should irritate you but god, it was sending arousal to your core, and you find yourself whining for him.

My eyes immediately shut in pure paradise, and you started to squirm again when Jimin’s thumb landed back on your naked clit. Jimin’s lips glaze your ear, “Cum for me, right now.”

His tone of voice was deep and stern, which led you to lose control. Your hands quickly covered your face in order to conceal the moans that escaped your mouth as your orgasm sweeps through your body. Jimin continues to rub your swollen nub as you ride it out. You were trying to catch your breath as your face turned away from your hands to Jimin, only to find him smirking.

Suddenly, Jimin grabbed your hands and stood up from his seat, bring you up with him. “I apologize everyone, but it seems that Y/N isn’t feeling too well right now, so I think it’s time for us to take our leave. Y/N wants to stay, but I wouldn’t feel good if we did stay. I’ll see you all at work on Monday.” Jimin waved goodbye to his coworkers while you kept your head down, playing up the “sick” act correctly. You waved to everyone as well as both of you started walking towards the car.  As soon as both of you were outside of the restaurant, Jimin wrapped his arm around your waist, squeezed your ass, and let his hand rest at your hip. As you both walked to the car, you looked up to him. You could see that he was relieved to be done with that dinner and happy to go home with you. Both of you got to the car, and before Jimin could unlock the car, he interrupted by the sight of Taehyung running towards you.

“Y/N!” Taehyung stopped right in front of you and grabbed your hand, whipping you out of Jimin’s hands and in his direction. “Why didn’t you tell me that you weren’t feeling well?” Taehyung murmured as he looked at your small hand in his large one.

“Oh, I didn’t want to worry you, or anyone.” You took your hand out of his and waved it in front of him for reassurance. “Don’t worry about it! I just need some sleep.” You smiled at him, and he leaned in closer to you, like at the dining table.

Taehyung grabbed your hand again, rubbing circles on the back of it before looking up to you. “Call me when you get home, alright? I wanna know that you’re okay.”

You were happy to have a friend like him in your friend, and your smile got brighter at that thought. “Of course! I’ll see you soon.”

The flirty side of him came back as he kissed the back of your hand before letting it go. “I’ll see you soon darling.” Taehyung had a goofy grin again and looked to Jimin, “I’ll see you on Monday man, don’t let your girl get sick or I’ll help her out instead.” He winked at you, and he started to laugh as he began to walk away.

Although you thought this was funny, Jimin did not at all. You only realize this when you saw the several veins in his neck pushing up to his skin. “I’ll see ya later.” He spoke through gritted teeth. You saw his fists tighten so hard that you felt he might actually break his bones. In the years that you’ve been dating Jimin, you’ve never seen him so angry. He unlocked the car and walked over to the passenger side, opening the door for you. He realized that you were frozen in place, so he started to speak in the sweetest tone he can muster up with the anger running through his veins, “Y/N, get in the fucking car right now, or things will get worse.”

You practically bolted to the car seat, and you felt the car shake as Jimin slammed your door shut. He walked over to the driver’s side and sat in the car. He repeated his actions, and he harshly closes his door before putting his hands on the wheel. He exhaled deeply and turned to you, “Tonight, you’re gonna listen to every word I say. Do you understand, sweetheart?” You nodded your head to him, analyzing the strain in his voice. He was frustrated, and you honestly did not expect this level of dominance. “Good girl.” He responded before turning on the car.

You look down to your hands, thinking about what could happen tonight and all the things Jimin might do to you. “Are we going home?” You asked politely, wanting to alleviate his irritation.

Your question had the opposite effect, causing his veins to strain more. His jaw clenched, and he slowly turned to you at a menacing pace, “Baby, did I say that you could talk?” You were about to open your mouth, but Jimin continued, “I don’t wanna hear another word out of your mouth. Got it?” You nodded your head and returned to the position that you were in previously. Jimin’s hand lingered on your thigh and squeezed it to get your attention. “Tell me a safeword.”

A safeword? There were a few moments of silence before you thought of a sinister idea. You thought to yourself, He was already angry, why not triggering him more? You had a sense of where this night will lead to, and you were happy with the results. But a part of you wanted to tease him a bit more.

Jimin spoke once more, “Have you thought of it yet? Tell me.”

You muster up all the confidence you had, and you began, “Yes I did. The safeword is Taehyung.”

You thought that Jimin was angry before, but you were fucked now. You could feel the tension in the air.

His nails dig into your thighs, close to breaking the skin. You could see the stream coming out nostrils as he looked at you with nothing but depravity. You swore that he growled when he spoke, “Okay.”

You were screwed for tonight, but in every perfect way, right?

[goldenhemmings]

Florida - A Stealing Second Extra | Baseball!Shawn

Hello, angels!!! This is me finally getting around to posting some Stealing Second blurbs because Spring Training is coming up and I can’t contain the baseball excitement. This particular piece takes place around eight or so months after where they were at the end of the final part and it’s 1.4k words. It can also be read as a standalone piece if you haven’t read the series, but if you’d like to read it, it’s linked in my masterlist! 

A pre-read study guide isn’t really needed other than to explain Spring Training a little bit! Basically, every spring right before a new season starts, the MLB teams divide between Arizona (my home sweet home) and Florida to begin practicing again. I explain it a little bit more in the blurb but, as always, if you have any questions please feel free to ask as well as send feedback! 

February was always your favorite month growing up, but for a somewhat unconventional reason. It most certainly was not because of Valentine’s Day, or even due to the (very) slightly warmer weather. February was your favorite month because it brought the beginning of Spring Training games: a glorious five weeks of exhibition baseball that culminated in MLB’s Opening Day at the tail-end of March. Every year, the arrival of Spring Training meant your family’s annual trip to sunny Florida for a week of watching the Blue Jays play at Dunedin Stadium. Once the World Series ended in October you would be majorly looking forward to the day when pitchers and catchers first reported to their teams’ stadiums in Arizona and Florida, and the countdown to the first Spring Training game began from there.

It was funny how quickly things could change.

As you’d gotten older, the family baseball trip eventually stopped happening. And, now that you were with Shawn, Spring Training meant over a month without seeing him while the team was down in Florida; something you were beginning to have to face the reality of. Away series’ were hard enough; you had to completely immerse yourself in the work that came with your new Media Relations position with the Jays in order to distract yourself while he was gone. You’d gotten used to having your boyfriend of eight months all to yourself now that it was the off-season, and you would soon have to adjust to once again sharing him with baseball fans everywhere. You had no idea what you were in for when it came to five consecutive weeks without him.

The point of Spring Training was to obviously get established players from the thirty teams back into the swing of baseball, but it was the younger, lesser-known players that got the majority of the playing time, as a large facet of Spring Training was giving new guys the chance to try out for an official spot on their team’s roster. Shawn had gotten loads of playing time last year, but now that he’d spent a full season as the Blue Jays’ starting second baseman you knew he’d get considerably less time on the field this spring. He was going to be gone for five weeks, and you would hardly even get to see him play.

On a Friday night in the second-to-last week of January after a particularly stressful day at work, you found yourself curled into the side of the couch in your and Shawn’s shared apartment, a glass of wine in hand as a random made-for-TV movie played in the background. Shawn had gone for dinner with a few friends he used to play with back in high school, and he was going to be home any minute. To say you couldn’t wait would be an understatement.

As if he’d read your mind, you heard keys jingling in the lock of the front door. You craned your neck over the back of the sofa to see Shawn come in the door, kicking his shoes off to leave them in the foyer. “Hey, hon,” he called, shrugging off his coat as he made his way over to you. You set your wine glass down on the coffee table just before Shawn sat next to you, a curious white envelope in his hand.

You quirked an eyebrow, motioning towards it. “Whatcha got there?”

He grinned, causing your brow to furrow and a small, curious smile to cross your mouth. “I have a surprise for you,” he stated simply, handing the envelope over to you. You took it hesitantly, turning it over in your hands to see if there was anything written anywhere on it. “The surprise is inside the envelope, believe it or not,” he added sarcastically, and you rolled your eyes as you playfully nudged his arm with your shoulder.

You delicately tore back the envelope’s flap, revealing a piece of paper that had been folded up to fit inside. You began to straighten it out, looking up to quirk an eyebrow at Shawn who just sat there smiling back at you. You returned your focus to the paper in your hand, staring at it until you suddenly realized what it was: a flight confirmation. A flight confirmation to Florida during Spring Training. You snapped your widened eyes back up to Shawn.

“Shawn, I--,” you stuttered, almost speechless. “I don’t know what to say. This is amazing, I can’t believe you did this for me, and--” Wait. You suddenly froze as rational thoughts began to flood back into your mind, and you let out the excited breath you were holding.

Shawn narrowed his eyes at you, moving his hand to rest on your thigh. “Hey. What’s wrong?”

You sighed heavily. “There’s no way I can take time off of work this soon.” You swallowed hard, knowing full well you’d just crushed him, but the smirk that crossed his face caused your brow to furrow even more.

“See, I figured that, which is why I talked to your boss before I even bought the ticket. You’ve got exactly a week off.”

“W-what? You talked to Greg?”

He nodded, sporting a grin that evidenced how proud of himself he was for pulling it off. “His one condition was that you send in at least three team status reports to MLB.com, but I figured that wouldn’t really matter considering you’d be scorekeeping and taking down notes and stats anyways.”

You giggled, partly out of pure giddiness and partly because of how Shawn knew you like the back of his hand. “Exactly. So that’s a very small price to pay,” you responded, pressing your fingers to your mouth. “I can’t believe I’m going to Florida.”

“We’re going to Florida,” he repeated, a massive grin stretching across his face as you flung your arms around his neck, tackling him down in a hug as the two of you erupted into a fit of excited laughter.

“I’m just excited to finally see you in uniform again,” you teased, face still pressed into his neck.

“Yeah?” he laughed, pulling back to shoot you a smug smile.

You giggled. “You know I love you in your jersey.”

“I love you in my jersey,” Shawn replied, and you buried your face back into the crook of his neck as you felt heat rise to your cheeks. He chuckled, pressing a chaste kiss to your shoulder as his arms wrapped completely around your waist, anchoring you against him as though he were worried you’d float away.

You laid there for a while, chest to chest with Shawn’s back pressed against the couch, until you felt him suck in a breath. You propped yourself up on your forearms, looking down at him and silently prompting him to speak. “I forgot to mention something.”

You frowned, a quizzical expression coloring your features. “What did you forget?”

You could see him trying to bite back a smile, and you began to giggle lightly in nervous anticipation of what he was going to say. “So we don’t have a game one of the days you’re out there,” he began, and you hummed in understanding, waiting for him to continue. “So right after our game the day before, we’re gonna go to a little island just off the coast and we’ll be able to spend the entire next day there. I got us a room right on the water and everything.”

“Wait, are you serious?” you interrogated, feeling your eyes bulge in shock.

“One hundred percent,” Shawn replied matter-of-factly, his brown eyes never leaving yours.

You pressed your face into his chest, almost too surprised to speak. “I cannot believe you, Mendes,” you muttered against his shirt, and he laughed. “You’re the fucking best.”

“What was that?”

You picked your head up, resting your chin on your hands that were pressed flat against his torso. “I said you’re the best.”

He frowned, making a show of reaching his hand behind his ear and tilting his head towards you. “One more time?”

You scoffed lightly, pressing your cheek back against his shirt. “You heard me.”

“Heard what?”

“I hate you,” you retorted, biting back a smile as you absentmindedly reached a hand up to thread through his hair.

“But I thought I was the best?”

“Whatever, Mendes,” you giggled, lifting your head to press a kiss to the underside of his jaw and letting out a little hum of content.

It was suddenly only a matter of time until you’d be seeing your favorite team, in your favorite place, with your favorite boy, and you couldn’t be more excited. Finally.

Feedback makes me very happy!

If you want to be removed from the taglist for any extra pieces I post, that’s no prob at all!! Just message me so I know. For this first blurb, I’m gonna keep it the same except that I removed those users it wouldn’t let me tag:

@ashwarren32 @d-arkestangel @idkseavey @yellowitsmendes @north1692 @calistheloml @perfectlywrongfm @gentleshawn @mariemmendes @shawnsmercy @wildest-dream- @shortieshake @shadowsndaisies @yourwonderbelle @madon566 @ruinmeshawn @itrocksmysocks @just-another-fan-girl-for-you @ilovejackavery @vnv21 @planstonightbaby @lou-la-lou @greteeweetee @shawnyimagines @helpmemendes @overactiveimaginati0n @princessflutterwolf @justjustyncase @falling-stars-never-cry @colorful-dodie @andreburakovskyyyyyyy @giveme-gaskarth @ayetami @x-seventeen-x @onlynarry @to-the-road @hollandechart @princessmendes13 @rare-breed-of-human @prettymuchboodup @jc-paramore @etherealchar @ykicantbefoundwithyou @choripxn @noodleboyluke @petit-funsize @heavenly---holland @the-claire-bitch-project @sleepybesson @zankivich  @qxeen-of-hearts @begging-mnds @shawnsvlogsquad

[thedapperrabbit]

She-Ra Rewatch: season 3 and onwards through season 4, and boatloads of Introspection time!

So Ive been rewatching She-Ra with my partner, because sharing Entrapdak is caring. I could probably squee on about that for a century or more (because eeee, sharing things i love with people i love AND THEY EVEN PAY ATTENTION TO THE THINGS AND REMEMBER THEM!)...but ill spare you, kind internet strangers who for some reason find my thoughts mildly interesting enough to be reading this. This is going to be a lot. Like, a LOT. A lot especially from a stranger that youve probably only seen a notification from due to me sticking a heart on your content or for reblogging something lovely youve made in pictures or words. I dont think anything is going to be violently trigger-y because im not always great at judging that stuff and also ive yet to feel quite comfy enough to be  fully open-posting specifics about my own past trauma, other than a vague allusion to self-harm and distant-ish unspecified abuse aaaand the usual childhood garbage truck of assholes....but i suppose you could possibly draw some darker potential conclusions from the content im focused on. Also, my ADHD makes it incredibly hard to keep to a straight and non-branching narrative so...ramble-y bits and expressions of brain frustration ahoy. Either way...you are forewarned, just in case. Sorry in advance, this is going to be a small booklet by the time Im done explaining, and thinking, and then attempting to stick words to abstract feels which sometimes im great at, and then others i fucking suck at...but at least this is all written and not me trying to say this to any of your faces! Thats....a mercy all of its own. Haa...  Anyway, while rewatching with my partner, I realized just how much more painful parts of it are to sit through now...they were the first time, and each time since, but NOW having spent a while mulling over the series as a whole a bunch, and reading a lot of other peoples writings on here and finding myself largely in agreement with most Entrapdak fan’s assessment of things, I just....feel like all the air is ripped out of me during some moments, watching  with keener insight. And despite thinking i had myself reasonably well figured out by my age, its all also made me further consider a few things about myself as well. Particularly my notable internalized fury response to chunks of it which have been consistent through all my viewings of SPOP. With Hordak at least, its way easier to understand my reactions. For me at least. Maybe not so much for the people around me. And, shittier due to intensity and subject matter, but still easier in the long run because...the broken bits in me that he resonates with are fresher and sharper and still more recent, like within the last ten years, and thus more towards the front shelves in my head, compared to things that resonate with Entrapta, which are all old, lifelong dull aches at this point. I feel like nothing i can point to is fully sufficient to fully express my feels involving Hordak. But, maybe the best representative moment is with the crying i do every damn time I see his face looking up at Prime just after he glimmer and catra were beamed up...because ive seen that face in the mirror. I HAVE MADE THAT FACE. That same. Goddamn. Face. I may not have gotten a jab to the back of the neck directly from the person I made it at...but they often seemed to silently goad me to harm myself in an attempt to jolt my brain out of getting stuck in re-looping through what theyd just done/said to me. Likewise, much of his interactions with Entrapta are very...very weirdly familiar in feeling, but in a good way. Watching the stuff with Hordak hurts because fuck me if it isnt frequently like watching myself back in 2008ish to 2013, which was the duration of the worst parts of that particular circle of hell i parked my ass in. So...that makes sense. Hes so well written in those moments, it occasionally gave me PTSD flashbacks (still does a little, but now im prepared and braced for it and can shrug it back off....thanks, lifetime of therapy and years of studying abnormal psychology! Still totally not an expert, just very passionate...just, as a disclaimer).  Entrapta though...Entrapta is a different story. Mostly, I see Entrapta and in her free expressions of delight and joy and her bouncy enthusiasm I am reminded of a younger, less discouraged me in some ways, and in others, a “me” I could have been, but...well, extremely early-onset anxiety and depression made me insanely self-conscious super-super early on...not that i was great at hiding or...i guess the term people seem comfy with is “masking”? Which was a huge problem, or so it was in the 80s when far less was understood of such things. Id do so for a bit and then would forget to, in a way (because id forget long enough to go and trust again reflexively) and would get badly bullied and would squish everything down until id feel a crumb of safety again, and then almost instantly ADHD would pop that mask right the rest of the way off aaand it would start all over again. Ad nauseam until my teen years, where the depression sort of “fixed” that, and made it much easier to destroy my desire to share much of myself freely at all, save for with one or two people, and to a less deep extent a broader circle of nerd friends. Course, then i hit 30 and ran out of the majority of fucks I used to give. Or I became so damaged and salted with anger that parts of me dont grow any fucks anymore? Either way, plowshares to swords, WHEEEE!) And, maybe thats where this time while watching, I started to really think back to all that, and to how i see Entrapta treated by the other princesses, or really just in general except by Hordak...and why it burns my biscuits so badly. Every time I see someone roll their eyes at Entrapta’s beautiful unbridled enthusiasm or try to make it seem distasteful or at least weird and unwanted and uncomfortable for them but then dont even bother to try coming to terms with why they feel that way... or how they seem to feel free to grab and manhandle her without her consent, or the way they try to lessen her contributions because shes non-normative? Like its the fucking least she can do to make up for being weird in their space (...okay, that might just be the anger kicking in..but i dont feel like its an entirely innacurate assessment, is it?)  All of that...seeing it inflicted upon someone, It feels like someones punched me right in the damn sternum, but because its a hurt that im so desensitized to, it seems to have a much different effect than the sharp, violent crushing pain that i feel when I relate to Hordak a little too well for comfort. Again, i could go on, but its nothing more eloquent people on here havent already spoken volumes on. And my first gut reaction is always “I dont understand! why is that their reaction to her?! it doesnt seem logical at all, i dont seem to be able to parse it correctly, how is this acceptable? I HOPE SHE IMMOLATES YOU ALL.”. Which...I suppose isnt entirely usual for me (the silent wishing that people be immolated, I mean...i blame my past years of working in retail. And devouring too much Warhammer 40k contentl).  (oh gods...and this is going to be the most clusterfucky part cause i can feel my meds kicking in and thats gonna be hard to keep coherence on but i gotta get this all out of my head or ill forget it or get too scared of you fucking BRILLIANT insightful smart people on here and then ill continue to live scared and regretful that i never said..anything, and just sat here like “noticeme, entrapdak sempais!”  Ehhn...which is to say, if this is a garbage dump from here down, dont worry, when i wake up ill fix it...but hopefully itll at least make a tiny bit of sense ) But I realized something...something I hadnt ever rememberd much about due to the shitty neuronormative (apology if thats wrong term) behaviors continuing over years and years but in less and less directly aggressive ways as i grew older and was more prone to losing my shit in , (and likely because I got excessively lucky and managed through...uhhh...agonizing determination? Sheer stubbornness? Alleviatory rebalancing of universal karma? fuck if i know --to  curate a surprisingly supportive circle of other castoffs and misanthropes.) That was exactly how people used to treat me.  OKAY THISLL BE EDITED LATER to add in the rest of what i was gonna say...im...too full of Ambien sleep meds and damn write it anymore...and im aing trouble separating realigty and dream...an i k apawing at the kybord...not safe Lov yous for reading this far. Il fix it later, swears.

[starryseo]

high schooler!jeno

not updating at 2am for once whoa

lee jeno everybody e n j o y :))))

gonna do jaemin next and i cant wait i think thats gonna be my longest one

ive just been really missing my boi sm arent updating us i just wanna know if hes doing ok :(((((

alsoooo,,, im thinking of doing bts texts??? idk if i wanna make it a series but like my bts side is looking empty lmao riiiiip, so idk yall can send in smth if you want

now wITHOUT FURTHER ADO

I GIVE YE

JENO LEE

i just wanted that to rhyme and it did lmao yay me

woo this boi

everyone including me loves him

but how can they not????

hes so c00l damn

quite popular bc hes in the drama club and dance club

and they do loads of school performances

that dont have parents complaining,, looking at you mark, hyuck + the rest of the rap club

so yeah jeno just rolls up to the auditions for the latest drama show and the teacher holding the auditions is just like

jeno no no couldnt help myself there whoops :’) you dont need to audition youve already got the male lead ilysm your acting is 11/10

and hes just like oH :’’’’) hes super bashful and not smug??? which just makes ppl like him even more !!!!

ok so he probs was like but teacheeerrr,, i WANT to audition

seems like the type to like the thrill of auditioning more than acting in the actual performance lmao

so he auditions and everything and obvs gets the part

so hes like !!! yay,, but then hes also sad for the ppl that auditioned for the part he got my poor bby

so he’ll like go around complimenting their auditions and he rE A LL Y does mean it when he says their acting was good

tries slyly giving them advice if they want so that they can improve bc he genuinely wants them to improve so that they can get the lead next time

i swear its the same thing when it comes to dancing performances lmao

gets centre stage most of the time bc his movement is so fluid and beautiful and graceful prAISE THIS BOY PLS

ok so all this stage attention has led him to a locker full of love notes lmaooo

ok well it’s like 60% love notes/ confessions, 30% normal post-it notes congratulating him and then 10% hyuck’s homework with labels like “i’ll give you doughnuts if you do this”

he answers them all wrong and gets the doughnuts anyway :)))

ok so yknow how he likes assembling figures and stuff,,,, he probably keeps like the latest figure he’s working on in his school bag for ‘life or death’ purposes

so he’s always the first to finish eating so he can hurry and assemble the figure

he lowkey sabotages jisung’s figures so that jisung cries and complains to him and then he’ll fix it and asks for dark chocolate in return and jisung is none the wiser :))))))

jeno just blames hyuck or chenle whenever jisung gets suspicious

so yall probably met through the drama club

but rather than being on the performance side of stuff

you were there helping out with the technical stuff/ making props, the whole shebang

so jeno, being a lover of ppl, also appreciates the technical ppl aka you bc they put in just as much work as he [and the other actors/actoresses] does [/do] into the shows

and at every recital he tries to talk to as many ppl as he can during his breaks

and so one day it was your turn to meet him yayy !!!!

he even brought along smth for you to eat bc he noticed how long you had been working on this painting without a break

and so you took it, saying thanks, and he just made like light-hearted chatter before his break ended and then after a while you all got sent home

at the next recital he met up some new people but he didnt get to see you

bc you had gone for a toilet break before he had his break and so he just left some food and drinks where you were working this cutiE

and then you guys just kept up conversations whenever you could, even saying hi and stuff in the hallways and at lunch

and then on the day of the performance, he asked for the mic at the end, yknow, when the acting team’s all standing and bowing on stage

and hes like “i would like to invite the people backstage that helped make this performance possible, from helping with the props to having perfect timing with the lighting” etc etc.

and so he like looks off to the side and ushers everyone to come on stage

and the rest of the acting group is clapping and so is the crowd so yall H A V E to go up

and when you go up and bow, you look at him and hes already looking at you

and he does that CUTEEEEEE !!!!11!!1!!! EYE SMILE HE DOES !!!!! YOU KNOW THE ONE IM TALKING ABOUTTTTT !!!!!1!11!!!!!!

and that is the start of a beautiful friendship/ relationship ;^)))))

[tehstripe]

2. Dear _______, - Dave/Rose Newspaper Columnist AU

I finally finished the second fic for my challenge! The prompt was “newspaper advice columnists who passive-aggressively diss one another in their advice au,” found in this AU list. Also this thing is a small monster that I will probably cross-post to AO3 after... a bit of editing and coding.

(Also keep an eye out I have a second fic to post tonight.)

Dear Tentacled Therapist,

Recently, my boyfriend has been acting strangely. He keeps asking about my schedule and when I'll be home. At first I assumed he was just asking so that he could work on planning dates, but whenever I ask him about his schedule, he gets very cagey and won't tell me exactly what he's doing. If I ever demand what he is doing, he tells me he is hanging out with "friends."

Is he cheating on me, or am I just reading into things? I want to confront him, but I don't want to ruin the relationship over something silly...

Sincerely, Am I Just Paranoid?

Dear Mx. Paranoid?

There are one of three options here.

The first is, naturally, the most boring. He is cheating on you. His so-called "friends" are in fact a short-hand for his elicit lover.

For your sake, I hope this is not the case, though I am sure it would be gratifying to know that your suspicions were at least somewhat justified. I would recommend actually talking to some of his friends in order to confirm the story that he is telling you. Is he truly hanging out with them, or is he just using them as a convenient excuse to ditch you?

A few caveats. First, even if his friends back up his story, they may be lying. You can test this by asking a few of them what they were up to and seeing if their stories match. If possible, I would recommend talking to some of their significant others, who will more likely be sympathetic to your cause.

If you do not know enough of his friends in order to ask them what they were up to on June 6th at 11:00 PM, consider that you may not be deep enough into this relationship to be too concerned about ruining it. Cut your losses and run. Even if he is not cheating on you, I cannot think of much good that will come from having a boyfriend who, early in the relationship, demands to know where you will be without properly reciprocating.

Naturally, if you do discover that your man is cheating on him, there is only one possible solution. You must sacrifice his body to Zathog the Great Old One. If he is pleased with your sacrifice, then he may grant you the ability to travel through both time and space, which is undeniably a much better thing to be in possession of than a cheating boyfriend.

Ah! But we must not overlook the other possibilities. You may also be in a situation pulled straight from a "Romantic Comedy," as the lay people refer to them, where you are led to believe your beau is cheating on you, when in truth, he is attempting to set up a beautiful surprise for you that only shows how much he loves you. Perhaps there is even a big diamond ring in your future?

Ah, but Miss Therapist, you may proclaim. However will I know whether or not I have found myself within the confines of a "Romantic Comedy"? The answer is simple. Look around you, at the people you surround yourself with. Do you have a gay best friend who gladly accepts the lofty title of "sassy"? Do you have a well-meaning girl friend (who you, mistakenly, call a "girlfriend" despite the fact that the two of you are straight) who is hapless, cute (but not as cute as you), and pursuing her own relationship off to the periphery of your existence? Are there any older women in your life who give you expressions that imply they have seen it all?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions, then congratulations! You are most likely a fictional character within a film that will be affectionately dubbed a "Chick Flick." On the bright side, you are undoubtedly being played by an attractive celebrity, so that is one important consolation prize to the unfortunate fact that you are not actually real.

You can also check this with his friends, of course.

The final, and frankly, most likely option is that he is planning his own ritualistic sacrifice to Zathog. He is most likely planning to sacrifice you. Get the jump on him. Forgo love and earthly attachments and become the space-and-time travelling god you were always destined to be.

I hope this helps.

Sincerely, The Tentacled Therapist

Dear DJ Strider,

I'm trying to think of what I should get my girlfriend for our two-year anniversary. She's honestly the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I want to make it special for her. Any ideas?

-- Two Years of Devotion

dear 2y devotion

okay my dude my buddy my pal

listen to this thing that you are asking me. really listen to it. take the page you are reading right now and hold it up to your ear all gentle like and let it whisper into your ear.

"i want to do something special" cool thats great thats a general thing that everybody who is not a douche wants to do for their significant other but think about this for a sec.

you went to an advice column for this shit. and dont get me wrong my advice column is unequivocally the best advice column cause unlike some columnists im not gonna suggest you throw your girlfriend to sh'blugh the tentacle horror from beyond the veil but

you gave me nothing to go on man

how do i make that special

like give me some details to go off of

you love this girl right tell me something about her

or i guess since its too late to tell me about her because this is a delayed conversation that gets publicly written and published in a magazine think about the kind of shit that she likes

like you probably already know the kind of shit that she likes if youre really as into her as you say

does your girl like flowers? get her some flowers does your girl like horses? get her a horse does your girl like sports? get her a sport

and like that goes for activities too if youve decided to date an adrenaline junkie take her to an amusement park or go skydiving or something

or even just crack open a bottle of fancy wine or whatever

shit is special if you make it special dude and if i tell you exactly what to do that ruins the whole idea of it being special

anyway good luck hope you dont bomb it

-- dj strider

Dear Tentacled Therapist,

I'm a mother of a beautiful girl who is currently in the second grade. She constantly comes home complaining of a boy bothering her in class. I have gone to her teacher to try and figure out what we can do to make her feel more comfortable at school, but the teacher simply said that the boy probably had a crush and told me that this was a normal peer interaction among children their age.

While I understand that many children do not know how to properly express their emotions or their feelings, I can't help but feel suspicious of this determination. My daughter has said that this boy has pulled her hair and pushed her down on the playground. I don't care what the teacher says - that is NOT the behavior of somebody with a crush.

Sincerely, Concerned Mother

Dear Miss Concerned,

You have every right to be concerned. However, the teacher is right. That boy almost certainly does have a crush.

You see, Miss Concerned, in all my years of giving advice and viewing the world from my lofty place above it, I have come to the conclusion that a man in love becomes the stupidist and most brute-ish thing imaginable. This starts from a very young age, and though the man may be able to temper his natural instincts upon growing older and even produce the occasional bouquet of flowers, this is natural. Why, even at my decidedly unspecified age, I sometimes encounter men who show their undying affection for me by "vagueing" me, as I understand is the modern parlance, in their own personal advice columns.

(By the by, Mr. Strider, everybody knows that my column has more regular readers than yours does.)

That said, this behavior is unacceptable. Were this a fully grown man, of course, I would say that you should toss him to the Old One of your choice as an offering of appeasement for not destroying our planet eons ago, but this is still just a second grade boy. Foolish and brutish as he may be, I will never condone child sacrifice. Instead, focus on the teacher.

Tell her that you don't care if this boy has a crush - it is unacceptable that your daughter is being made to feel unsafe and unhappy in a place of learning, which should be open to her. Children do not learn or grow well in environments they are uncomfortable in. If this boy is making her uncomfortable then, whatever his reasons for doing that may be, he needs to be talked to and he needs to be stopped. That is the long and short of it. If the teacher seems unwilling to help, take it to the principal. If the principal is equally reluctant, then pitch a fit and give some of your fellow parents a reason to outrage. Make the local news. Cause a national movement for little boys to stop pulling little girl's hair in an attempt to flirt. Eventually, the teacher will have to give in. Or at the very least, pressure from social media will get her fired for showing such painful neglect at her job.

Once that happens, naturally, you may sacrifice her to the Old One of your choosing.

I hope that these words bring you comfort and wisdom. You sound like you are a good and caring mother.

-- The Tentacled Therapist

Dear DJ Strider,

I have a crush on a guy, but I don't know how to get his attention. What can I do to get him to notice me?

-- Crushing in California

dear crushinator

well first off let me tell you what NOT to do

the thing that you definitely dont do is call this guy out for vagueing you on your very public advice column especially if youre going to pretend that youre a cool dark mistress of the night who ritually sacrifices people to the tentacled gods of your nightmares i mean okay i guess i should specify that you will definitely get noticed but not in the way that you want despite that saying there is such a thing as bad attention especially when youre attempting to woo a guy

anyways i guess it really depends on the kind of guy youre looking at what do you know about this dude is he into video games?? go take a picture of yourself with a controller in your mouth and accidentally send it to him then hell know for sure that youre a gamer gurl and hell ask to play some fresh games with you and then you have an in (make sure youre actually okay at video games though maybe)

is he into sports??? go dress yourself as a ball

or wear a jersey with his favorite team on it or something

just get a conversation started honestly or if youre already in the conversation zone you can start dropping mad innuendos left and right maybe put on some nice clothes or bat your eyelashes a bit you know just do something special

and again dont call him out on "vagueing" you or hell just continue to talk smack about you to his huge avid fanbase and then youll just be sad and embarrassed

hope that helps

-- dj strider

Dear Tentacled Therapist,

I'm a high school student and there's a few people who keep bothering me on social media. They aren't bullying me or anything, but they keep mentioning me in posts and responding to all of my statuses. It's getting kind of annoying. What should I do?

Sincerely, I just want some peace and quiet on my FB Feed!

Dear FB Feeder,

Truly, now you understand the trials and tribulations that I myself face on a near daily basis. I do not know you or your body of work, but clearly within the realm of your school, you must be somewhat famous.

Now, I do not know the gender or sexual orientation of these bothering people you mention, but I would hazard a guess that at least one or two of them are interested in pursuing you romantically, but due to having the emotional maturity of a teenager, they do not know how to pursue you in a way that is not hugely annoying.

I am sure you would like to hear that this behavior will naturally fade over time as said teenagers grow and mature into proper young adults, but I am saddened to inform you that often this is not the case. Why, one can even become a semi-professional advice columnist and yet still resort to calling out their crushes in a public space. Therefore, you will need to take some actions in order to ease your own annoyance at the situation.

The easiest option would, of course, be to block them, but I do not claim to be an expert on the delicate social balance of your high school. Perhaps blocking these individuals would be a social faux pas from which you could never recover. In that case, many websites (and I suspect this mysterious "FB" is among them) have a way to block people from showing up on your feed. This may not solve the problem, but may fix some of the annoyance.

You could also try talking to them. Tell them that their constant attention is annoying and unflattering. If they are trying to impress you, then they will back off. If they are trying to get to you, then they are bullying you, and you can report them to the adult of your choice.

Naturally there is always the option of throwing them to the Beasts Below, who quite enjoy annoying human souls.

I hope this helps.

-- The Tentacled Therapist

Dear Disc Jockey Strider,

I have a quandary. You see, there is a particular rival of me who seems to, as of late, decided to take it upon himself to mention me in nearly every single public answer he grants to his purported legion of devoted fans. I am beginning to think that perhaps there is something more to his constant mentions of me. Is this a cry for help? Could it be that the adviser, in this case, should become the advisee?

Sincerely, An Anonymous, but Concerned, Reader

dear anonymous tentacle therapist,

yeah haha nice try

--- dj strider

dear tentacle mistress of the night,

hey so i have this problem and that problem is primarily the fact that theres this creepy advice columnist whos constantly up in my grill and i think shes gotta be in love with me

i mean i also have a problem in that im just drowning in so many fans that i cant barely see straight but thats one hundred percent beside the point

whats my plan of action here do i let her down gently or what

sincerely, a super cool dude with a better advice column than this

Dear Your Advice Column Is Not Better,

It certainly sounds like you have quite the conundrum but I must wonder. Is it her that is in love with you? Or might you be projecting somewhat? After all, it seems to me that you might have been the one who started it. If her responses, as you claim, indicate that she is clearly in love with you, then I am afraid that by your same logic you must simply be head over heels.

In that case, I would not recommend letting her down gently. Not because of her feelings - oh no. I doubt that she has feelings one way or the other about whether or not you actually get the guts to ask her out. No, I would highly recommend that you not let her down gently because, based on what I have inferred from you in this very anonymous and mysterious question, I worry for the implications on your psyche should you make the decision to try and turn this girl down before you have ever confessed your feelings.

No, my professional recommendation is that you suck it up and you go to her and you ask her out. She will likely turn you down, of course. I understand that she has high standards. But if you continue to keep your feelings pent up, it will only hurt you and those around you. Besides, if you do not give it a shot, then you will never know what could come from it. You never know. You might just be surprised by what she says, if you go about it the right way.

Also, I do know for a fact that you have her number.

Your move, Strider.

-- The Tentacled Therapist

Dear DJ Strider,

I was wondering, what's your advice for what to do on a first date? I just met this really pretty girl and we've been flirting a lot, and she agreed to go out with me. But now I have to actually think of a good date idea! What should I do?

Also, since it is a first date, I don't know THAT much about her, since I know that's usually what you tell people who come to you for relationship advice. I mean, that's what the first date is for, right?

Sincerely, Nervous First Timer

dear nervous,

okay yeah for once you got a situation in which im not gonna come over and sit your ass down about actually knowing your girlfriends interests because hey news flash shes not your girlfriend

yet

dont worry my man i will come up with a plan to fully woo this girl and you will then have a girlfriend and then maybe even a wife

just send me a wedding invite okay

actually this goes for everyone if i ever land you a wife or a husband or a gender non specific spouse send me a fuckin wedding invite i probably wont go but i might and i give you permission to advertise to all of your friends and family that you might have a minor local celebrity attending your big special day

but yeah first dates

first off you probably want to do something with a specific end time or else youre gonna end up trapped in a moment of like is it time to end this? do i wanna be the one who has to say i have to go? if nothing else give yourself an excuse to leave at a specific time like you gotta meet a friend or catch a bus

the other thing is that you gotta make sure you leave time to actually you know. talk.

i know seeing a movie seems really tempting and yeah movie dates can be fun but consider what youre actually doing on that date

youre staring at a screen while sitting next to somebody who is a borderline stranger and maybe enjoying a baller flick but are you really advancing that relationship at all?

nah

so yeah generally something like a lunch or a dinner can be pretty good but it can be tricky and awkward if you dont know what youre gonna talk about like what if you start talking and realize you got nothing in common that you actually care about

so thats either good for a second date or if youre like an awesome conversationalist who is always confident that youre able to keep a conversation going no matter who youre talking to

so its usually a good idea to do something thats a little more focused

if you do know anything about her then you can bring her to an event you know she might like

maybe a museum or something? aquarium? zoo? i guess a sport game could work but as i understand it there are drones that come around and demand that you kiss for the crowd so maybe thats not the best idea

anyways just make sure its something for you guys to talk about other than your own awkward burgeoning romance

anyways in the end the important thing is just be yourself dude

i can say from recent personal experience that being yourself works wonders and if it doesnt work wonders then that probably means that the relationship wasnt gonna work well anyways

just make sure you dont dump all your biggest darkest secrets on the first date though or else you dont give your nosy date anything to come back for the next time

but actually that maybe only works if your date is trying to pretend she is a therapist

anyways good luck dude hopefully that gave you some good ideas

-- dj strider

Dear Tentacled Therapist,

I'm in a kind of new relationship and it is going great! This guy is great and I could really see it going places. We've been going steady for about a month and a half now, but he's seemed really hesitant about telling other people about us. He won't list himself as being in a relationship on social media, and though some of our mutual friends obviously know, I don't know how vocal he's been about it with the other people in his life.

Now, we are gay, but he's also really openly gay to everybody that he knows, so I don't think that's a big part of it. Everybody knows he likes guys, so the fact that he's dating me shouldn't be that big of a deal. So what's going on? Does he just really value his privacy or is he planning to dump me soon? What signs should I be looking out for. (I need to know when it is appropriate to plan my tentacled sacrifice after all. :P)

Sincerely, Are We Dating Or What?

Dear Schrodinger's Boyfriend,

I'm afraid that going public with a relationship is always a tricky thing, regardless of whether or not the status of your sexuality is broadcast to the entire world. There are many, many reasons that your boyfriend may not want to go public with you. I will, of course, get the obvious out of the way. He may be possessed by one of the Old Ones, in which case, they are notoriously shy about their relationships. They have lived for millenia, so they feel no reason to rush through things. Be patient with them, and it will pay off in a major way.

Now, there is the (admittedly slim) chance that your beau is but a normal human man, with all of the normal lovable foibles of human men. If this is the case, I can see a few options.

The first is the one that I think you are the most scared of - he's Just Not That Into You. Either he is cheating on you (or perhaps you are the one he is cheating with?) or he has plans to end the relationship soon. I cannot predict which of these it is, but if you have mutual friends who know, it may not be a bad idea to ask one of them for their input on the situation. Naturally, if either of these is the case, offer his body up for possession by an Old One. You will have the same problem, but rest assured that the Old One will be faithful and loyal to you up until the point it decides to use your flesh organs as part of an important summoning ritual.

The second option is simply that he is shy or cautious. Maybe, despite being openly gay, he is still somewhat embarrassed by a relationship. Perhaps he has relatives who would harass you if they knew who you were.

Or perhaps he has been burned by rushing into a public relationship in the past.

Perhaps he was, once upon a time, with another boy who he went public with too soon. Perhaps the pressure of the relationship made him feel like he had to perform that relationship to an extent that felt unnatural to him. Perhaps he didn't like how it felt, having something so new, personal, and delicate being handed out to the world at large.

I don't know the type of people who might like to look at your boyfriend's life, but it is also entirely possible that he would not want them to know of any relationship of his, simply because they will find a way to butt their noses in and ruin it. An overbearing mother, perhaps? Nosy friends? A needy ex, who will proceed to harass you as soon as your name is out there as being his "Facebook Official" beau.

Needless to say, there are many reasons that he could want to refrain from making your relationship public that actually have very little to do with your relationship. In fact, it could even be a sign that he values your relationship. He values what you have so much that he doesn't want to share what you have with the rest of the world and thus risk losing it.

Though, of course, he could be cheating. It is possible that I am injecting some of my own thought processes too heavily into this answer. I do not truly know your boyfriend, so I cannot say for sure what his thoughts are. The best thing I can really advise you do is... ask.

Good luck.

-- The Tentacled Therapist

Dear DJ Strider,

I think that two of my friends have hooked up, but I'm not sure. They used to be really annoying to each other, and our other friends and I always joked that they were flirting, but I at least never actually meant it. But now they don't bother each other as much and they're just kind of... calm together. And there are a lot of times that the two of them are pretty obviously missing from group get togethers.

So... were they actually flirting?? Are they dating now?? What if they break up? That will just make them even more annoying!

Sincerely, Kind of Grossed Out

dear kind of

yeah your friends are definitely banging now and yeah they probably were always actually flirting but they might not have been aware of it

see sometimes if you are an asshole you dont know how to express affection apart from acting like an extra asshole to the people that you like and usually this is a self correcting feature since like youll drive away all of the people you like so they dont have to put your extra asshole-ness the real kicker comes when you end up crushing on somebody who can actually match your punches and act like an equally big asshole in return

its a very delicate dance honestly and you should just be glad that you got to view it in its natural habitat if only youd caught it on camera you could have sold that shit to discovery channel and got richard attenborough to dub over it with his cool nature documentary voice and here we see the assholes in their elaborate mating ritual though it may look like a fight to outsiders they are actually both getting really turned on by it and are gonna fuck vigorously in a month or two

anyways yeah its gonna suck if they break up but honestly what break up doesnt suck

i dont think the way that the flirting process happens really dictates how much a break up process is going to suck and from personal experience probably theyd be less annoying broken up than theyd be together since theyd just avoid each other which is a whole other kinda stress but yeah

i guess what im trying to say is yes your friends are definitely boning down embrace it and congratulate them or something also make sure that none of them are in charge of any advice columns

-- dj strider

Dear Tentacled Therapist,

Hello, I Am A Long Time Reader, First Time Writer

I Was Simply Wondering How One Would Hypothetically Go About Wooing An Advice Columnist That They Thought Was Very Clever And Humorous

This Is A Hypothetical Scenario Of Course I Was Just Wondering

Sincerely, A Fan

Dear Cooling Unit,

Honestly, I stared at this letter for quite a while, wondering how to answer it. I would have guessed that this was written by DJ Strider, in fact, if I didn't know for a fact that he would never put enough effort into writing something to press the shift button that often.

Regardless, I am sure that now is about the point where I am supposed to tell you how to woo me. This is where you expect me to say that the worst way to woo me is to slyly reference me in your public column for the whole world to see. Honestly, that is a technique that I would not have expected to work on paper, but it must have its merits.

At any rate, I suspect that technique would not work on most advice columnists, so I suppose I will simply continue under the assumption that this is the Very General And Hypothetical Advice that you assured me you were asking for.

My simple advice is thus: treat wooing them like you would any other person. If you do not know them in real life or do not have an easy way to contact them other than through their advice column, then pursuing a relationship is inadvisable. They will treat you as yet another fan, and I can say from personal experience that I am not terribly interested in dating fans.

"Fans," you see, tend to put you up on a pedestal. They take a look at you and think that you have hung the moon, which means that the only way for their opinion of you to go is down. Having a healthy, normal outlook on your strengths and weaknesses as a partner is down-grading their image of you, which means that no matter what, you will become a disappointment to them. The moment you mess up in front of somebody who idolizes you, it will feel like a betrayal to them, because you don't match the perfect image they have built in their head.

No, I would be far more interested in pursuing somebody who is my equal, through and through, and I suspect the same is true of most other hypothetical advice columnists. If you do find one who is excited by the fact you are a fan, they are undoubtedly an egotistical narcissist who wants to hear about how they hung the moon. While I do not deny that hearing of my moon-hanging exploits is quite the enjoyable experience for me, it is not a solid foundation for a relationship. If you find such a columnist who wants to build a relationship on that, might I recommend putting a sample of their blood into a summoning circle to bring about a personal curse on their house and home?

At any rate, any advice that is seeking out this particular advice columnist's interest will, sadly, be too little too late. Against all odds, I happen to be taken with somebody else.

-- The Tentacled Therapist

Dear DJ Strider,

I kind of pissed my girlfriend off. How do I get back on her good side?

Sincerely, In the Dog House

dear i hope thats not a petplay reference holy shit,

okay see this is why people need to provide me more details about their problems like look at me i write long and heartfelt messages to all of you

like i really inject my soul into these answers make sure theyre multi paragraph endeavors and what do you give me?

"oh yeah my girlfriends pissed" like what do you want me to do with that theres so many factors at play here about how to get back on her good side or even if such a feat is possible cause trust me there are ways to get on a bad side permanently and for all i know you have done something worthy of the permanent bad side

like did you fucking go out and cheat on her?? if so then go ahead and dump yourself she doesnt deserve to put up with you

if you just like forgot to wash the dishes that one time or something???? yeah thats probably an offense you can recover from and im hoping that youre talking about something like that over the cheating because i am not a pro cheating advice column ill have you know

im a respectable advice column with family values and also a decent and healthy amount of respect for all romantic partners

anyways if you did something like forget an anniversary then that depends entirely on the girl and how long youve been together and how badly you forgot it

if it is a make up-able offense though what you do to get on her good side is......... also dependent on some awesome details that you didnt fucking give me

like my dude did you put effort into this question at all

did you just decide to mass produce this so that you could send it to multiple advice bogs? actually im gonna ask around and see if anybody else i know got it

anyways its a shit question put more effort in next time

some general shit you can do is obviously like buy her something that she likes take her on a special date to a place that she likes or try and do the thing you screwed up the first time but dont screw it up this time

but mostly just apologize

though i kinda hope you did that already because if you didnt even think to toss a lil im sorry in between the time you sent this and the time it took me to process it and actually respond then im sorry you might be beyond help

oh yeah that said one way to get on a girlfriends good side is to be a super famous advice columnist because then whatever you write will be public and apparently your girlfriend could be into public apologies like i dont know you didnt give me enough to work with

but i guess this is to say uh

sorry for joking about the thing you were right youre always right everybody should go to the best advice column ever the tentacled therapist for all of your best advice needs

(that was not a paid advertisement btw but i cant say that it was done entirely by choice)

((but no really im joshing you dont tell tt but her advice is actually pretty sound. even some of the ritual sacrifice stuff is kinda reasonable when you think about it. she usually only recommends it to assholes that deserve it its not just a blanket ritual since thatd have no meaning))

anyways good luck i guess?

like good luck if you arent a douchebag and i guess if you ARE a douchebag then good luck to your girlfriend i hope she dumps you and goes on to clearer waters

Dear Tentacled Therapist,

I'm thinking of proposing soon. What are your thoughts on a public proposal? On the one hand, it's kind of romantic getting to share a special moment with a lot of other people... but on the other hand, it does kind of trap the other person into saying yes because they don't want to seem like a jerk in front of a lot of other people. What do you think is the way to go with this one?

Sincerely, Nervous Proposer

Dear Nervous Proposition,

Whether or not a public proposal is a good idea depends entirely on the person that you are proposing to.

By this point, I would hope that you had some sort of idea about what the person you are proposing to might like as far as public proposals. Are they easily embarrassed by attention, or do they soak it up like they are plants who desperately need all available sunlight for photosynthesis? How keen are they on things such as surprise birthday parties? Have you ever thrown them a surprise birthday party? Perhaps, before considering marriage, you should throw them a surprise birthday party. You cannot truly know a person until you have seen their reaction to such a fiasco.

I would also recommend that the two of you have discussed the topic of marriage before you even consider popping the question to your prospective fiance. I wouldn't propose until the two of you consider yourselves to be - and I apologize for my use of this cliché - "engaged to be engaged." Make sure that your partner is planning on the prospect of a marriage with you.

You might even consider doing two proposals - one more subdued, in private, just to make sure that they say yes. Then you can propose that you have a big surprise that the two of you get to share with everybody else, and you get to propose a second time without any of the stress.

Now, personally, public proposals are not my style, and anybody dating me would know better than to do such a proposal. But.

That is assuming that they can beat me to the punch. ;)

I wish you luck in your endeavors, and I am sorry there was no good place for sacrifices to the Old Ones in this week's column.

Sincerely, The Tentacled Therapist

Dear DJ Strider,

Who should I pick to be my Maid of Honor? I have two really good friends. One I am closer to, and I know she'll probably pick me to be her maid of honor... but the other one is a LOT better at planning shit out. I know that if I pick her, my wedding will be run like a well-oiled machine, but I also don't want to upset my other friend. Then again, the friend who's good at planning might be offended that I chose the closer friend, and be frustrated when she has to deal with her bad planning as a bridesmaid.

So... who do I pick? It feels like I lose no matter what.

Sincerely, Fretting Fiance

dear ff

yo i fucking hear you on this shit weddings are the most stressful thing that has ever been invented by man

i mean man in the generic sense btw not the male human sense though i guess it might have also been made by a male human? idk i should ask about the history of weddings later maybe

anyways its all politics dont let anybody tell you any different

like you gotta be oh so careful with your seating placements at the reception or ol grandma berthas gonna tear the eyes out of uncle jimmy and we cant risk getting that blood all over the table cloths or else were gonna have to pay a really big fee to the table cloth company we hired and were already gonna be broke because of the honeymoon

and yeah we gotta make sure that shellys the bridesmaid second from the left because otherwise shell block out kelly in all the wedding pictures and kelly will pitch a fit

anyways i guess the easiest thing to do is going to just be to talk to them

you could always offer to split the honor between the two of them too if your planny friend is as good as planning as you say i bet you can come up with a good way to work 2 maids of honor into the ceremony

also uh i guess this is a good a time as any to make a lil announcement guys

so after april rolls around im not gonna be dj strider anymore

better get ready to start making your pleas for help out to dj lalonde

-- the artist formerly known as dj strider

[unlocklist]

I'm so sorry to bother ya, but I've had this question for a while and I noticed you make comments about it so I'd figure I'd ask. How in the heck do you get your art's color to look the same on mobile as you do your computer? I can't get it right :'(

hi hello! you’re not bothering me! This is gonna be kinda long i think so im just gonna put it under a read more just in case. I hope this answers your question! if anythings confusing just hmu with another question pal! 

 TL;DR upload art to uploadpie and load up the short URL on ur phone/tablet/something other than your computer to see it on a different monitor.

So like this isn’t originally my computer and my friend used it a lot for cs:go and he messed with the color options so it would be easier to see enemies and the like so the colors are just messed up for me and despite how many times hes offered to change them back ive gotten used it it over time so its not a bother but anyway!

The most recent art piece i can remember i noticed the change was this specific Damian Wayne fanart I made where when I posted it on instagram he was orange instead of the (regrettably) light skin he appeared to have on my laptop example.

ignore how shitty this is lol it’s the only way i could think to try and show what im getting at oops.

anyway! my fix for it is once im done with a drawing i go to uploadpie but any easy image uploading site can work (like imgur or tinypic.) i prefer uploadpie because its short and simple and it deletes itself after your selected time. 

Once youve got the art you want to check the colors for click bake file and it’ll give you a short url. Now i go to my phones safari and i type out the url (theyre short so its not that big of a deal to just type it out) and see if the colors come up good there too, since thats probably what everyone else is going to be seeing. If they’re ok then i say hey post it. but if not just keep rinse and repeating this cycle. 

It seems like a lot now that i type it all out but its jus how i do

[kujo1597]

Actually, That Was a Good Thing

A fire left Peridot with nothing and nowhere to go, she contacted former classmates and one of them told Lapis about the situation. Lapis let Peridot move in with her and they developed a friendship.

One year later Peridot met a beautiful woman named Amethyst at the club and they kept in touch over the phone.

Part three of the “Maybe That Wasn’t Such a Bad Thing” series. Read it on Archive of Our Own! (Or don’t, I basically summed up the first two parts at the beginning of this post.)

Chapter 1

Ams: Oh my god Peri, the Lil Butler reboot looks awful!

Ams: Like, it barely has anything to do with the old show yknow.

Peridot: I KNOW THE RECENT CPH MOVIE WAS THE SAME WAT HOW           HARD IS IT TO BE FAITHFUL TO THE SOURCE MATERIAL

Ams: I never watched CPH but I heard the movie was bad.

Peridot: BAD IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT

Ams: The Jem movie was god-awful! And not even in a funny way.

Peridot: I NEVER WATCHED JEM

Ams: Ha! Not surprised, even I’m a bit young to grow up with Jem.

Peridot: WAIT HOW OLD ARE YOU I ASSUMED WE WERE THE SAME AGE

Ams: 30 Per

Peridot: OH IM 25

Ams: Jeeze, you have to wait before your childhood shows get bad reboots. ;p

Peridot: ITS ALREADY HAPPENED YOUVE SEEN THE CN SCHEDULE

Peridot chuckled as her and Amethyst’s conversation about terrible TV shows and movies continued. She didn’t expect that cool and beautiful woman she met at the club to be such a TV geek.

Peridot faintly heard her phone ringing and lifted her head from her drool-covered pillow.

She groaned and squinted at her clock but the combination of tiredness and not wearing glasses made the numbers very hard to make out.

11:27PM?

Who calls at that time?

Peridot answered her phone and heard a somewhat familiar voice on the other end.

"Hey Peri, what's up?"

It was Amethyst.

"Sleeping," Peridot replied.

Or, at least she thought she did. It's hard for Peridot to form words right after waking up.

"Ah shoot, I woke you up, didn't I?" Amethyst sounded a bit guilty. "I just wanted to talk but I can call some other time."

"I'm already awake," Peridot briefly wondered if it came out snippish.

"Nah, it can wait, I just saw the latest teaser for the final season of Ninja Keith and had to talk about it," Amethyst was clearly suppressing her excitement. "Steven's asleep so I called you."

"We can talk about it now, just give me a minute so I can watch it."

The two chatted about the show until two in the morning.

Over the next month Peridot and Amethyst called and texted each other on several occasions.

Peridot never really had a friend before.

It was nice.

Peridot yawned while reading her menu, she had stayed up quite late texting Amethyst. This was becoming a regular occurrence which is unfortunate for early-riser Peridot.

"Hey," Lapis addressed the sleepy young-adult across the table. "You can sleep later, we have errands to run."

Peridot dismissively waved her hand. "I know, I just had another late..." she trailed of when she noticed a waitress with long lavender hair tied up in a high ponytail walking by.

"Cute girl?" Lapis asked, clearly amused.

"Oh no, was it obvious that I looked?" Peridot asked with a blush.

"Yeah, you can't exactly subtly turn your head," Lapis put her hand on the top of her head to replicate Peridot's sky-high hairdo.

"Oh, heh, right. Um, you remember how I met a girl when you dragged me to the club?"

"You mean when I invited you because you need to get out more?"

"Whatever."

“Yeah, I remember you mentioning a girl. Was that her?”

Peridot nodded. “She said she’s a waitress but not where she works. I didn’t expect to see her here.”

“You gonna go talk to her?”

“I... don’t know,” Peridot fiddled with her fingers.

“You’ve been chatting for a while, you should ask her to meet you after work.”

“Talking on the phone is different,” Peridot’s voice got quiet. “She can’t see me over the phone.”

The change of tone took Lapis by surprise. “She saw you at the club.”

“In strange dim lighting. She had no way of seeing just how bad my burns look.”

“That’s never been a problem before.”

“Yeah, well,” Peridot gestured at Amethyst. “I’ve never met somebody so beautiful and perfect before.”

Lapis took a good look at Amethyst. “Peridot, she has a cleft lip and her left eye’s really squinty. She’s not exactly perfect.”

"Those are such tiny flaws. This," Peridot waved her hand around her face, "isn't a tiny flaw and a significant amount of my body's like this. You know, you've seen it."

Lapis shrugged. "It's not as bad as you think. You only think it's really bad because you know what you used to look like. Amethyst likes you. She gave you her number and you suck at starting conversations so she must keep coming back to you."

"Yeah, she always starts the conversations."

"Knew it. I think you should go up to her. You two will meet eventually, wouldn't it be best to do it soon? If she is repulsed by a little thing like your burns then she's not worth your time anyway."

Peridot put her finger to her chin in thought. "You may have a point..."

As Peridot weighed her options she faintly heard Lapis talking to someone.

"Peri?!"

Amethyst's excited voice snapped her out of it.

"Ah! Amethyst!" Peridot's voice cracked  in shock.

"Good to see you again," Amethyst said with a grin. "Wish I could chat but I'm pretty busy."

"What time do you get off work?" Peridot blurted out far louder than she intended. She could feel the blush spreading across her face and ears.

Amethyst had an amused look on her face. "I get off at four-thirty."

"I-i-if you want we could hang out for a bit then eat supper together."

"Yeah, sounds great," Amethyst said with a smile then rushed off to do her job.

"See you then," Peridot said quietly even though Amethyst was long gone.

She turned around and met Lapis' smug gaze. "I don't know if I should love you or hate you right about now."

"You should love me, I just got you a date."

Peridot arrived right as the clock struck 4:30PM she pulled out her phone as she stood outside the restaurant door.

It was only a fifteen minute wait before Amethyst came sprinting out of the door.

"Woah," Amethyst nearly ran into Peridot. "Oh hey Peri. Were you here long?"

"Nah, it wasn't that long."

"Cool, cool. Are you up for some walking? I'd like to swing by my place to change."

"Yeah, I'm fine with that. We can also talk and choose where to eat."

The pair started off for Amethyst's house.

"So Peri, what's the deal with you and Lapis?"

"Deal?" Peridot asked, obviously puzzled.

"Yeah, I know you and Lapis are roommates but are you dating or anything?"

Peridot nearly burst out laughing. "Oh no, we're good friends but that's it. Lapis graciously opened her home to me when I had nothing and nowhere to go," Peridot thought a second. "Well, I guess I could have moved back to Alberta and in with my dad. But to be frank, I really don't want to get on another plane any time soon."

Peridot nervously laughed.

“Chill homegirl,” Amethyst put her hand on Peridot’s shoulder. “We’re just hangin’ out. No different from our texts and phone calls ‘cept we’re face-to-face.” Amethyst didn’t get much of a response but she sort of expected that. “So what do you want to do before dinner?”

“We both enjoy video games so I thought we could go to Funland Arcade for a bit.”

“Sounds good and Fishstew Pizza’s close by so we could eat there.”

“Sure, that works for me.”

They continued to walk and talk and eventually they reached a large beachfront property.

Amethyst opened the door and led Peridot to a couch in the livingroom.

“I’ll be back in a sec, make yourself comfortable,” she said before heading upstairs.

Several minutes later Peridot heard footsteps coming from the stairs. She expected to see Amethyst but instead saw a short chubby boy with curly black hair.

“Oh my gosh,” the boy exclaimed looking at Peridot all starry-eyed. “Are you Peridot?”

The boy’s staring made Peridot a bit uncomfortable. “Yeah.”

He chuckled and jauntily walked up to Peridot. “Amethyst told me all about you! I’m Steven by the way.”

Hearing that Amethyst talks about her made Peridot quite happy and much more relaxed. A smile reached her lips.

But there was a kid to entertain. “So you’re Steven, Amethyst told me about you.”

Steven beamed at Peridot. “She did?”

Peridot giggled. “Yes, she did. This visit is a bit impromptu, if I knew I was coming ahead of time I would have brought some of my spare G.U.Y.S. with me.”

“You have G.U.Y.S.”

“Yes, I collect lots of toys and figurines. I have G.A.L.S. too.”

Steven squealed. “That’s so cool!”

“I dunno, I think it’s pretty nerdy.”

Amethyst’s voice took Steven and Peridot by surprise. “But I like nerdy so it’s cool.”

“I don’t know if I’ll ever understand your vocabulary,” Peridot said.

Amethyst laughed. “You’re an egghead, you’ll figure it out eventually.” She then held out her hand. “C’mon, let’s go.”

After saying their goodbyes to Steven, Peridot and Amethyst walked to the arcade.

They started off by playing some fighting games against each other.

“Wait, you use grapplers too?” the surprise was clear in Amethyst’s voice.

“Yeah, they’re a lot of fun and their designs are usually really cool,” Peridot replied amused.

“Dude, I pegged you as the type to use trap characters and zoners.”

Peridot shrugged. “I dabble with those. It depends on the game. But I always go straight for the grappler.”

They completely lost track of time playing the fighting games. Before they knew it well over two hours had passed.

The only reason they stopped was because Peridot’s fingers and right wrist were stiff and sore.

“You okay?” Amethyst asked Peridot who had started to bend and flex her sore joints.

“I’m fine, that just happens sometimes,” Peridot rolled her sleeve up a bit to show her wrist to Amethyst. “Skin grafts are a bit stiffer and more taut than normal skin so I sometimes need to do stretches.”

“Oh, I had no idea.”

“I didn’t expect you to, I only know that because a third of my body’s covered in them.”

The number really surprised Amethyst.

And Peridot could tell. “It’s mostly on my back so it’s not that bad. It’s the ones on my wrist and upper arm that are the problem.” Regret started to bubble up in Peridot’s gut when she saw Amethyst’s blank face. “Sorry, I made you uncomfortable.”

“Oh, no, nononono, Peri, I just- wow, I can’t wrap my head around it. That’s actually pretty amazing. You’re really tough.”

Peridot laughed. “I don’t know about that.”

“It’s true! Not everybody can walk away from a thing like that. You’re pretty impressive.” 

Peridot burst into a giggle fit.

"I'm gonna keep saying it until you believe me," Amethyst wrapped her arm around Peridot's shoulders then poked her on the nose.

"I believe you, I'm just so relieved. I was really worried about how you'd react to seeing me in decent lighting. You're so gorgeous!"

Amethyst's face was completely covered a blush. "Whaaaaat?"

"It's true!" Peridot was now blushing too. "You're the most beautiful woman I ever laid eyes on."

Amethyst buried her face in her hands.

Peridot laughed slightly villainously. "I will keep calling you gorgeous until you believe me."

"You think you're sooooo smooth, huh?"

"Stars no! I'm the biggest nerdy mess ever! Luckily, you're kind of a nerd yourself."

"Ha, that's true," Amethyst took Peridot by the hand. "So, how about this 'gorgeous woman' takes a certain 'nerdy mess' to the pizza parlor?"

"Wasn't that the plan?"

"Yeah, but it's kinda late now."

"We have to eat anyway," Peridot said with a shrug. "I have a terrible habit of getting too into coding to eat so I'm kind of used to not eating supper until late at night."

"Oh dude, you have no idea how many times I had a pizza for a midnight snack."

"A whole pizza?" Peridot raised an eyebrow.

"Well, it was just a medium pizza, nothing too big."

"I don't think I'll be able to eat an entire pizza."

"We can order a large pizza, you eat what you can and I'll finish it off. Sound good?"

Peridot nodded.

While they were talking they arrived at Fishstew Pizza. They walked in and sat at a table.

"So what kind of pizza are you thinking of?" Amethyst asked. "I'm cool with whatever."

Peridot hummed in thought. "I'm in the mood for something spicy."

"You have good taste."

"Oh, you like spicy food too?"

Amethyst grinned and nodded. "Spicy's the best!"

"Then spicy it is."

Peridot ordered the pizza which her and Amethyst greatly enjoyed as they made casual conversation.

After the meal they hugged and parted ways.

Peridot arrived at her home and called out to Lapis.

"I'm gonna lie in bed, my leg's killing me!"

She walked into her room and smiled when she saw her little brown havanese curled up on her bed sound asleep.

Peridot sat on the edge of her bed, fondly gave her dog a pat then removed her prosthesis and sprawled out checking her social media on her phone.

Soon after Max woke up and took his place on Peridot's tummy.

Lapis came into Peridot's room some time later.

"So, how was your date?"

"I'm not entirely sure that was a date," Peridot said. "I mean, we held hands soooo... maybe?"

"Woah, slow down there, you're already holding hands?" Lapis' voice was dripping with sarcasm.

"Shut up," Peridot was giggling. "We also hugged and neither of us was sad."

"So what'd you guys do other than hold hands and hug?"

"We spent a few hours playing fighting games at the arcade, we then shared a pizza. AndIwasfeelingreallyselfconciousafterItoldAmethysthowmanyburnsIhaveandthenIblurtedoutthatIthinkshe'sgorgeousbecauseshecalledmeamazing."

"What was that last part?"

Peridot's face was bright red. "I told Amethyst just how much of my body's covered in burns and she said I was amazing. I felt really relieved and then I blurted out that I think she's the most beautiful woman I ever met."

"How'd she react?"

"She blushed and tried to brush off the compliment. It really surprised me. It was as if she has never been told that before."

"That's very possible. Amethyst's kind of pretty but in a really specific way. You're into short stocky girls and piercings. It's actually kind of crazy how up your alley she is. And she probably thinks you're pretty attractive so getting a compliment from you must've been exciting for her."

"I guess? She did call me cute at the club."

"That's good and she thinks you're amazing, you two are also always chatting. I think you have a shot with Amethyst."

"Yeah, I think so too," new confidence began to fill Peridot's body. But there was a problem. "I've never dated before, can you give me advice?"

"I'm really not the best person to ask, I suck at dating. You should just go with your gut, it's working so far."

"Go with my gut," Peridot muttered. "Thanks Lapis."

"Yeah, don't mention it," Lapis waved it off. "G'night."

"Night."

After getting ready for bed Peridot sent a message to Amethyst.

Peridot: I HAD A GREAT TIME TODAY THANK YOU FOR HANGING OUT WITH ME

[haeroniel-doliet]

thbleugh but what bich is gonna fight me for me

idk im just gonna rant again, im sorry if youre on mobile just like, give it a big flick and fly past this i tried i actually have a read more this time

anywy im feelin shitty an dumb n weird an its not fun?? like do we try categorize these feelings: 

1. i have 3 days to pass a course and all the course work i failed to do in fucking march 

1.b. all those emotions to do w unis great! but also ive been solow and sad and dysfunctional its not rly even funny, grades dropping many levels in half a year like. sure grades dont define my life but considering how easy it is for me to get those grades to see them consistently and kinda dramatically dropping isnt helping (even though like i actively know i got lower grades bc i didnt fucking attend class or take in any knowledge. i realise hahah im making a psychology reference bc im a smart psychology uni student.... hmh oh yeah we, we learned about this, i dont know it. my peers do. oh. oh i didnt, i didnt learn anything. oh no. im here to learn abt the subject im supposedly loving and thats the best fit for me bc like hell id be an artist. anyway i have a lot of shit down here i havent figured out who to talk it out to. the mental health advisor didnt have the time for it rly and w counsellors its been different topics but now were in summer and id rather spend the spare money i can rattle off my parents on ballet than a psyhc i could see 2 times best. im just gonna have to wait till septembet bc my dumb white wall subscitption expired too damnti. ugh im just, okay lets move on

2. inadequacy thats not justified? like it is obvs bc it bothers me and i know i can do better and i am better than this all and i clearly have smth stopping me. while to others im doing just fine if not better than them who are really struggling and kinda dont have sympathy for me who goes ‘ugh im doing so badly and struggling, i mean i write perfect essays in one go but its just so hard to do thattt and i know im smarter and better than this’ esp bc say putting words together in that way is difficult on them and not been good at school

2.b. like being good at school but noot being good now, classic phenomenon or has my school system always been the softes most coddliest and where in the normal or worse school 1would have performed average and maybe learned to study and the worth of it to do better, ive just been good enough that caring became so unnecessary i need to waste my time on pointless but constant other things. like youtube and rpchats. constant monotone stimulation for hours. andhours. 

2.c. asking for help bc im struggling w actually getting over the fuzzy and struggle and self hate and blegh feelings to do some work thatd allow me to pass the coursein my 3 days of the very last extended time. and then realising, ah either youve slaved over your work and stressed and panicked to have it good and on time and have no pity left for me and my foolishness, or you never got to uni/struggled to go to uni and think im wasting my opportunity by being an ungrateful lazy piece of hsit. and i know ia m. and 2.d. its the reason why im not doing extra volunteering or serious extra curriculars thatd give the headstart in my lfie. bc, even tho on one side i wanna be that kid and owuld scoff at ppl not doing it who are here for fun and get a degree on the side, rn i see it as not stealing away dedicated good peoples spots who deserve to get the extra recognition for being clever and independent, meanwhile knowing htat probablyill be just fine. worst case scenario for me is literally (ok theres worse but v unlikely) living w my parents and ending up at a mediocre service job to another mediocre office job or smth and never get to a lab bc i wasnt sufficient enough and i never got the cotton balls out of my head and cleared up again to be smart enogh

okay what next, shitty privilige, crying abt my cotton ball head or not being smart

3. okay were gonna do the smart first bc my chest hurts and i kinda feel like crying or smth abt it. like in a dumb (fun) chat im playing athena known for wisdom and all this shit, and though i can throw out a quip or two or cleverly use smth to keep the smartass wisdom stick going on, every now and then i realise how dumb i am and not smart enough that another person could clearly fill this in much better. like. you know all the hilarious posts abt mansplaining and women being pushed out of their fields by dumber men who think they know better bc the others a woman and like, yeah? things where they are confident enough to say, actually i am way smarter than you and i know this bettr. here i am feeling like even if i spent years researching smth i wouldnt have the confidence to feel smart and knowldegeable abt it. like rn, i cant even hold arguments anymore bc im a fool. and i come off as dumb and i dont want to be, i still wanna be the smart kid, but im not working my brain im not doing work or research or learning, im jsut floating by w my cotton ball head thats getting fuzzier and fuzzier and though i can do tasks and would probably b v compeittive if it came to that and need to prove myself as smart, i can no longer feel like id hold my own, esp when people poke holes so easily, trap falls, “hah you dont know what to say ive bested you you dumb bitch” vibey things i just. its horrible? i wanna be smart and be confident in my smartness and feel recognized as smart by other people and live up to that expectation of actually being clever. and not just, knowing im smart enough in some ways bc school ive  passed so easy w always good remarks and participate well in class discussion and all, and im sure nobody thinks im rly dumb bc if i have to ask things im v friendly and try to be attentive. and idk if nobodys expecting more than me, bc again if i cant answer ive developed to be v chill about it and come off as average i guess. 

anyways 4. privilige; like thers multiple inc. the fact im fucking finnish aka my education system was supposedly one of the best, i grew up international so i wasnt even confined to one shitty school in one shitty town, ive had varied school experiences and switching so much i think has given me confidence in myself and shit like that. also bc im finnish i get grants in uni, like free money. and so far i have barely had to use it bc surprise my parents are togther and decently well off bc they got lucky w a job being fancy ppl for 3 years and my older brother is already  adulting and slowly doing his own thing so i can have more money from them. aka. catch my dad paying all my rent and food and everything i need/ ask for on the condition we keep a good releationship. and im reasonable bc he raised me smart apparently idk. but that still means im living at home i have no intentions of becoming an independent home owner bc idk how i would esp since ill be with my parents most holidays for years to come and idk even when or how ill become a real adult being in a real home w real comapnionship. bc rn idk who im even gonna live with, hopefully be civil w them maybe even make a bit of friends but im not gonna have a significant other to move in and support me for a while bc thats a thing idk if were getting into today in this why im feeling shitty rant. 

4.b. so im priviliged in everyway to go to uni for free (damn i gotta apply for that again) in a nice country and a nice and supportive school and get funding from both my parents and my country and not worry abt money and just get a degree all supported and babied again. im also, idk. priviliged bc, fuck writing comes easy to me, i know nayone reading my rants would be like... yeah this is barely legible and terrible writted and mind blurts so i say it is yes bc its mind blurts but i can organise my htoughts into fancy essays surprisingly easy and critical stuff like psych and english came  mad easy to an extent. sure, i wasnt talented in math but i still made it, i am not talented in science but sometimes the concepts click and i can . but then, im also talented in art. and im not ashamed to say its privilige disposition or talent or smth, bc damn. i do not practice or dedicate enough love to claim that. sure, ive drawn always, sure, ive practiced more as a kid thatn other kids and thats probably carried me thru pretty far, but i think ive just had a natural disposition to be good at art technique (creativity maybe not so, or inspiration) but i know what looks good and sometimes how to achieve that. cue montage to art class where i sit w my friends who are talking about bands or making outlines w nut shells bc there i am beside them doing the work in half the time twice as good. mostly bc the teacher wasnt great and would assign essentially copying a picture from a4 to a2 u know like drawing the same thing. and thats not easy. and youre supposed to build up really light layers and slowly refine it.  and ppl who listened only ended up w shitty light drawings that either look like potatoes or vaguely like the picture, while i with boosting confidence would go, we only do one super light sketch one medium sketch and one dark layer. bc by the medium one everything is in its place and looks abt like everyone elses and i need the dark hues to show it accurately even if it isnt perfect, and my work would like almost always stand out on the wall bc it was so different/advanced. i wont lie it influenced my friends to not draw as well or as much sitting next to me, and ofc id feel bad and i could never boast bc i felt bad that they didnt try bc they saw me, thought mines not gonna be like that so im just gonna fuck around and do whatever. and i obvs needed praise but would always feel bad bc it was obviously me who was the best in that class and its so self conceited but, it kinda just was true in that small class half of whom didnt want to be there. me butt kissin and trying to impress myself w my skill. catch like, that first day he asked us to draw the person next to us, and i made my partner draw me first, bc i just knew if i went first theyd look at it and draw me a potato stick figure in 5 seconds and say i cant draw like you. and true. while the rest of the class made sketchy circle guys, some looing so childish, here i went and said, okay i find it awkward having you stare at me and if  you move a lot it makes it harder to be accurate, so, like take out your phone and get comfortable and look down at that for a while hence drawing3/4 unlike anyone else w eyes cast down and damn if i dont remember it being beautiful and identifiable as that friend, even tho the teacher told ppl around me like, ah yes she did it this way, 3/4 not face on which is much easier. which is true but bitch you never said. sides it looks so much better and was so much less frustrating. anyway, even now in that chat i go and like drop my drawings in bc partially i just wanna draw more and showing people makes me draw? u know. and i kinda wanna get compliments. but ive figured im pretty humble abt it. and sure i get comments that are like god i wish i could draw like that from someone that doesnt draw arms or legs and theyre v bublehead cartoon. and im like. you could. but yours is still middle school level, so just, keep working at it, get confidence to break your mold. 

that andtheres this one chick that,,,, gawd, well they admit to being a sociopath in chat which is great and seem real attention seekery in general (theres a surprising amount of people, while in midst of rp and getting compliments go “well i guess im a shit rpr because nobody wants to rp with me ://) post art and then be like dramatically UGH i hate it it looks so bad im terrible at art, literally poster girl for fishing for compliments. and even if i dont like the style at all, i try give in anatomical pointers or smth abt the drapery or smth technical i can complement. bc id want the same i guess? and i dont love let alone like the art itself. and then, while getting so many of those theyre like “yeah well nobody likes my art, say it reminds them of this character (jessica rabbit while all hers have big hips big tits tiny waists massive lips massive eye, but just one eye bc the otehrs covered by hair like theres obvious similarities) which means im totally not original like i thought so why even try!” and other melodramatic things that i can argue, but they dont wanna hear it they want attention and praise and i just ughhh i could preach you about how no art is original and its all from influence, or how someone doesnt have to like your style to appreciate it, or someone might love your style and like. basic stuff ive figured out myself. and it gets frustrating trying not to get a superiority, or to start shoving my own art in there to try compete or smth. and its just. hard. idk. id k. i know theres people who are averse to art and never tried to be good at it who are obvs gonna be omg thats so good i cant even draw and ill be like, hah yeah sure dude if you tried maybe btut thanks. 

also drawing man its so weird, whenever i see someone elses drawing a part of me goes “we must draw so that we can show were better than that” like, either to get complimetns and shift it to me? or to just show them off. to be like. i can do it better. which i kinda hate about myself? that i draw mostly bc of that and a need to show off? like amxxs art or smth, them talking like yeahh ugly art is good art, drawing is so healing i feel great or im so proud of myself for improivng so much look at my art, and a part of me goes, awh yes! my theorys proven working on art for yourself improves and can cheer you up, another goes, yesnow i must draw to show how good i am and show how i too feel fulfilled by drawing but also make it about me by weeping how i hate drawing myself. literally smths wrong w me seeing others pot abt their midrift, or learning to accept their curves or drawing themselves or smth, and theres a gremlin of me going like yeah but i cant draw myself bc i tried once and it looks like shit and ill only highlight my flaws and im slightly afraid of someone saying it looks exactly like me or other dumb shit, or i dont have curves to accept bcim not big hip big thic thigh girl im just. my legs are big but mostly ugly bc of the skin on them not bc of their size (ankles tho oof) and i have no hips i have no butt bc it allwent to my stoamch thats also ugly and my broad   badly postured back thats also ugly w these spots and marks and scars soon probably. and saggy boobs dont forget those. bc theyre literally fat sacks aiming for the ground i guess. anyway. no cute curves,  no beautiful skin no nth its just tough and i cant help but feel the negativity towards myself in almost every glimpse of someone elses positivity. i dont always air it which would be horrible of me to do, but its still there. making their happiness about my misery. maxx loves their boyfriend?> i hate them bc i dont like him and its rining it> i hate them havingsuch a dreamy but fake seeming ‘soulmate’ relationship bc its not true and i think itll end up terribly> im neveer gonna have that and im jealous of them i guess having someone theyd dedicate so much to and who loves them so much theyre all over the place making sappy things> well theyre an oveer romantic whod do it over the smallest things this wasnt a great example. 

anyway yeah extra note, even if i felt comfortable enough for sex im not comfortable enough in my body for that and idk how thats relevant to anything but i guess thats smth id also talk w a therapist abt whod probably tell me, then dont have sex! like yeah thats my plan.but im talking never gonna be able to form a relationship bc even having a friend for a sleepover makes me uncomfortable having them see me in an uncontrolled clothed position. u feel. 

anyway i have a lot of little problems that amount and i guess when i start addressing one the rest pop up their ugly heads and this is why i never getanywhere. this all comes from  how shitty i feel from how i have literally not even 3 full days to complete those tasks and pass, and i know i need to, though nothing in me actually feels like itll actually do the work u know, that spiraled through that chat into privilige of being at school and how i should tryy a bit that turned to im priviliged to be smart to pass and in my talent in art despite not being an artist that spiraled to another way i disliked myself and thats my fucked relations to myself my body and relationships (esp including me that dont exist)  

side note, though no surprise if for some ungodly reason youve read this shit i wrote at 8.30 am when i have a docs appointment abt my very ugly skin at 12.45 i over share. easily. if somseone asks id give them all. look at this. even in that chat i spiraled from, hah fun fucked up thing im almost failing my course bc im a shit, to my  heads filled with fuzz and i hate that i cant live up to my potentia. and im surprised how much i like this one guy, though who with his character ripped into my athena and make me question all my smartness, really makes me feel better ooc??? like theyre genuinely nice and just too informed and funny and playing the dick for a very well thought out reason (drunk doesnt mean it etc) and while the sociopath gal is giving me the side eye after they tried to help but figured out im a prviliged kid whos in school for free and not making the most of it and how easy school has been forme when for them despite their hard efforts they failed high school.u know not reallly helping kinda making me fele worse bc i know i should be doing better and could be and not only bc i have a priviliged opportuntity to and ability, i would benefit so much more if i did it for myself. but here comes by weird guy who slips on a freudian approach and claims they love helping ppl through their problems so i drop another overshare paragraph if he rly wanted to help but lighten it by taking thetopic off, he doesnt return and never address my post bc now its onto talking abt the big rp thing. im not mad. i just, idk i kinda wanted their support, another poor stranger to inflict w my extremely troubled wordy lengthy and i guess complex thoughts and feelings and lack there of sometimes and other shit. 

anyway im not doing great but im gonna grab 3 hrs of sleep before the doc, come back, nap, go to ballet again, come back, ad.... do smth.. work. maybe. one can hope. i hate it will it actually work only time can tell and i hate myself already.ugh. i hate i hate im not okya with this why cant someone else deal w me for me. deal with all these feelings and botherings and make me do my work and be satisfied doing it and do it all in time and feel a little success and reward myself like i should for work done and not just when i want. idk. someone,t ake over my life, you might be better at it. help me dela with school that i currently hate the most even if im meant to end up a scholar or smth

[gis-is-back]

THREE MONTHS

WHAT

HOW

What have I even been doing?????? like I know i log “every day” (in quotes because there was definitely a period when i had to catch up like a solid week in one day) but like what have i even been doing? (Off topic: this is kinda a motivation for like doing good things for yourself e.g. eating healthy, exercising, whatever because god damn the time is going to fly by anyway so like why not set yourself up for success so you can look back and be like woah all I had to do was that????? and now I’m here and I’m healthy and I’ve developed good habits???? It was that easy?? ok i guess we’re gonna keep going in the parentheses because en fait thats what i HAVE been doing!!! Bitch is eating right and counting calories and getting her mf STEPS in BOY) oh wow we’re out of the parentheses finally. Can you tell im like high on endorphins or something? ok so lemme hole up and figure out what I usually write in these month posts ill brb. I know i was not happy during the two month one, ok brb for real this time. 

Aight! So! bitch was definitely feeling bummed. And iirc I felt that way ab france until vic left BORDEAUX so a solid couple weeks. the trip with the girls was AMAZING like seriously exactly what i needed and (oh thats where the time went/what Ive been doing lol problem solved) it went by SO FAST. I’m talking a) I was tripping ab how it was already over and b) I’m still tripping about how its already been two weeks since it ended?? but yeah the time flies when ur having the most fun youve ever had in the last three months saying is real. but yeah I was bummed until vic left and i can definitely say that if she hadn’t have come to bordeaux I would probably still feel that way (to an extent). I had been living under EXTREME self-restriction in terms of spending money and eating out (one and the same lol). But when she came here obvi we had to go out to eat and she like opened up this new aspect of Bordeaux that I had never really gotten to enjoy. I needed to relax and just live, spend the money, eat the food, participate in the city and all it offers. The other aspect she helped me in is not feeling so insecure about language. I would feel a lot of pressure to speak french only and that it was taboo to speak english but while she was here it kinda dawned on me that they didnt know english and they were actually intimidated by ME. Sometimes. idk. but that was another aspect I got to relax about. 

Then suddenly she leaves and im okay! I just do what I want! I’m living a more balanced (ok not RNRN cuz I’m eating out all the damn time but we can pretend (not pretend because its real) that i’m coming out of a deficit of not eating out) life. I’m doing gentle exercises and eating proper amounts and generally doing good things for myself. I do a lot by myself which I love but I’m also doing things with others. I have organized two trips with DAnielle that are coming up, and successfully one by myself! I’m going to Venice!!! I’ve really had a lovely past week because I’ve been doing so much with others, and i’m really beginning to enjoy myself here. I appreciate it when I’m busy (which is usually just me finding things to be busy with instead of actually having things to do) and I appreciate my down-time. I have no complaints about either. 

A couple weeks ago something clicked in me where I saw exactly where and what I wanted my life to look like and the path towards it lit up. I wrote about it in one of my daily posts. But as the days go one some of it seems more certain than others, specifically on a relationship level. Some days I feel like I know exactly what I want and that I should go get it and some days I feel like I have time and it would be interesting to see how i’d do on my own and to see what might happen. I have a lot of choices in life and I’m not sure if I’m supposed to be an active decider in my fate that might bring about regret or if I should be pleasantly surprised with what life brings before me. But either of those could go the other way as well. I suppose the only truth is that I’m only 20 and i have time.

Something I’ve been struggling with is absorbing my experiences. I feel like I’m supposed to have some internal “click” in which I can take a mental image of the sights, sounds, emotions, etc. everything about a moment. Like when I saw Big Ben or when I saw mf STONEHENGE it was like “HELLO THIS IS HAPPENING TO YOU IN REAL TIME RIGHT NOWWWWWWWW”. I guess that comes with high expectations? but even for a moment when I was just hanging out with Vic and Kayla it was just like “this is going to end, are you in the moment? are you fully aware of whats happening?”. I could not get that thought out of the back of my head and I had it until the literal moment vic stepped on the bus to take her to the airport. I even looked back when I walked away to get a last glimpse like “thats the moment you’d been thinking about since you saw her for the first time in 4 months”. Kinda depressing. And then the same thing starts happening with everyday actions. The meal you’re eating will be over, you will walk to school and suddenly you’ll be there, your 9:30-7:30 day will end. Life is just going and I’m not sure how to realize it. But i guess the only response is that this is inherently a PART of life: the watching it go. I can’t keep food in my mouth forever, I can’t walk in place and never reach my destination, I can’t be stuck in a day. it always goes on and that’s part of the experience. The bad days will be over just as quickly as the good ones and you exchange your time for memories. Which is why I’m so glad I’m documenting as much as I can. We are so lucky to exist in an age where we can take pictures and videos, and I can chapter my life with different albums and songs so as to be taken back whenever I listen to a certain song. Like I used to listen to one album on repeat for my first month here and whenever I listen to one of the songs from it I am actually placed back in time. its really quite amazing and a GREAT solution for my dilemma.

But yeah! That’s how I’ve been feeling lately, I guess i’m really liking my time here (is it the city itself or my freedom? Month four Giselle will have to answer that). Hopes for the next 30 days: I dont die (if I do I love you all and I know how much you love me, wow thats morbid is this a bad idea? am I manifesting negative events into my life?????? I hope not!), I get that internship, I get into that mf class, I pass my finals, I eat everywhere I wanted to in BDX, I start seeing my face slim down, I have a good time!!! ok PEACE