#i should have just gone along with everything for her sake because shes the one who has an empty home now

[thetriumphantpanda]

i'm not the only one | joel & tommy miller

Summary | You have your baby. You have your family. But can you really have everything you want? Can you really have your cake and eat it too?

Warnings | Fluff, mentions of breastfeeding, small children (in my world they need to come with a warning because ew), let's say it one more time for old times sake: TOMMY GETTING CUCKED BECAUSE HE LOVES IT, dirty talk, fingering (f) and allusions to other smut.

Word Count | 1.9k

Authors Note | Wow. I just wanted to take some time to say a huge thank you to everyone who has read and supported me through this little fic. What started as a filthy little one-shot has become something super special to me. I'm so proud with how this turned out and I really hope that you love this ending as much as I do. I need to say a massive thank you to the JFC - @cavillscurls @dinsdjrn @morning-star-joy @cupofjoel @tightjeansjavi @sinsofsummers for continuously losing their mind over this fic with me and helping me come up with the ending where no-one gets their heart broken, I love you girls more than I can express 🧡 Thank you to each and every person who has read this, has given me their love, interacted with me and generally just made me the happiest girl for deciding to come back to fic writing. You're all awesome and I love each and every one of you. Please let me know what you thought of this, either by commenting, reblogging or sending me some love in my ask box, and if you'd like to support me with a donation, you can do so over on Ko-Fi.

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

The late September sun is still warm, even as it begins dipping below the horizon, painting the sky a beautiful mix of pink and orange. The beer in your bottle is lukewarm, but you finish it off anyway, attention dropping to your son, sat on your knee, as you bounce it up and down to keep him occupied at the table. He’s just turned two and is a much better table companion at Joel’s birthday cook-out than he had been last year. He’s starting to show a little personality, babbling along when Sarah tried to talk to him, teasing Tommy when he hands his son a toy, throwing it to the ground because he already knows he’ll pick it right back up and play along. 

Everyone else has long gone by this point in the evening. This year’s celebration of Joel’s birthday being held at your house because he’s having his garden landscaped. It’s just the five of you, the people who matter most to you in life, sat around, finishing drinks and just enjoying each other’s company. Sarah yawns to your left, the day finally catching up with her. 

“You tired, bug?” Joel asks, smoothing a hand over her hair. 

“I’m not tired.” But she yawns again, chuckles erupting from the table. 

You poke at her arm, “Your room is ready whenever you are.” It had already been agreed that Sarah and Joel would stay here tonight, so he could have a drink and enjoy his birthday without worrying about driving home. 

To her credit, she lasts another hour sat at the table, but once Joshua starts fussing as well, it’s clear it’s time for everyone to call it a night. Joel kisses Sarah on the forehead, wishing her a goodnight as she heads inside. Tommy takes Joshua from your arms and presses a kiss to the top of your head, leaving you and Joel together for the first time that evening. You reach out your arm across the table, palm up to the darkening sky, Joel’s own, much larger hand, slipping into it. 

“Shall we go?” You ask, the smile across your face mirroring his own. 

“I think we should.” 

As you’re walking through the neighbourhood your mind drags back to this time last year and the conversation with Tommy as Joel’s birthday loomed on the horizon. 

“What do you think we should get him for his birthday?” Tommy asked, flipping through the catalogue of construction gear that comes through the letterbox every few months, “He was saying his toolbox is too small these days, maybe we can get him a bigger one?” 

Joshua is cradled against your chest, suckling as you feed him. You’d always wondered how the other women you knew could multitask before he’d been born. One of your best friends could breastfeed her child, cook dinner and talk to her older daughter all at the same time. Now, standing in the kitchen feeding your son, two pans on the stovetop as you cook, holding a conversation with Tommy, you realise it just came naturally. 

“I mean, we can,” You throw over your shoulder, “But I think that man deserves more than a toolbox for his birthday.” 

Once Joshua has finished feeding, you hand him to Tommy, along with placing a rag over his shoulder – you fed him, Tommy gets to burp him, that’s the deal. 

“I just feel bad,” You comment, going back to pushing the steak around the pan, “Do you not feel like you’ve kinda just abandoned him a little?” 

“What do you mean?” Tommy asks, patting his son on the back. 

You sigh, trying to focus on cooking as you speak, “I just mean that he did this for us, gave us this life we have now, and what are we going to do to thank him? Give him a toolbox? Just seems like we don’t care.” 

“Well, what would you suggest?” He asks, you're quiet in response, trying to think of how best to put this, "You miss him, don't you?" He finally asks.

You turn around, leaning against the counter to the side of the stove, “I do miss him,” You say simply, not afraid to admit it, “You said before Joshua was born that you understood the connection we have, I just want to give him something good.” 

Tommy has Joshua cradled in his arms now, trying to get him to go to sleep so he can lie him down and enjoy dinner with you in peace, "You wanna fuck him for his birthday?" There's a smirk on his lips, just like there was when you'd needed Joel before Joshua was born.

“Hey, language!” You chastise, pointing to his son in his arms, “Don’t say it like that either, you know you come first, you always have, I love you Tommy, but can’t we just give him one time, once a year, where I can really show him how grateful I am for what he gave us?” 

You can see him mull it over in his mind as he bounces his son in his arms before he relents, “Okay,” He’s smiling, and it reaches his eyes, so you know he really means it, “If that’s what you want, I’m happy.” 

You smile, walking over to kiss him, “I don’t deserve you,” You murmur against his lips, “I love you so very much, Tommy Miller.” 

Joel thinks, as he walks hand in hand with you back to his home, that he really didn’t need this. He didn’t need thanking for what he’d done. He remembers walking into your hospital room with Sarah after Joshua had been born – she’d insisted on picking the biggest and brightest bouquet of flowers for you and had been so excited to finally meet her nephew. He’d pushed open the door for her that day and had been overcome with a strange sense of satisfaction. 

You were propped up in bed, Joshua cradled in your arms, his tiny hand clutched around one of your fingers, Tommy stood, hand brushing your hair as he looked down at the both of you with pure adoration. He knew he’d given you everything in that moment, that he’d managed to make the two of you the happiest people ever, and that was enough. A fleeting moment in time between you and him, that had created the most beautiful baby boy he’d ever laid eyes on, he’d been happy to let it lie, to wait and see if you wanted more and came back to him down the line. 

He hadn’t expected that on his birthday last year, you’d have cornered him and kissed him with such passion that he wasn’t sure he’d survive once he pulled away from you. Then you explained, one night a year, he could choose when, where you could show him how thankful you were to him. A night just to yourselves, without Tommy’s eyes trailing over you both. Secret and sacred between the two of you. 

Once Joel has unlocked his front door and brought you inside, he wastes no time. He craves this, has spent the last year thinking of the moment he gets to fuse his lips with yours. It’s soft, as his mouth opens against yours, slow as your tongues meet, he doesn’t have to rush with you anymore, he gets you to himself for the whole night. He pulls away, pressing his forehead to yours. 

“Hey.” You smile softly. 

“Hey, pretty girl,” He’s smiling, palms resting at your hips, “You want me to take you upstairs? 

You bite at your bottom lip and breathe out, “Yes.” 

He leads you up the stairs, your hand clutched in his own, through the threshold of his bedroom. He settles himself on top of his sheets, head propped up on his pillows as he motions you to join him. You clamber onto the bed, crawling up his body on your hands and knees until you’re straddling his hips with your mouth back on his. 

As you grind your hips down onto him, his hands coming to cup your ass under your dress, you can feel him growing hard for you. All you want is to strip him down and put your mouth on him, but it seems he has other ideas, and since this is all for him, you let him take the lead. He slips his hands under the waistband of your panties, warm hands on your flesh as he pulls them down as far as they’ll go in this position. 

“Lie down for me, babygirl.” He whispers against your lips, you oblige, settling yourself down on your back as he pulls your underwear off fully, shucking the hem of your dress up to your hips. 

He’s got one of his arms under your head, his lips at your ear as you spread your legs for him, letting his fingers slip through your folds to gather the slick that has slowly been gathering there all evening as you both watched each other, knowing what was coming. 

“So wet for me, pretty girl,” He breathes into your ear, taking the lobe between his teeth to nibble as he slips two of his fingers into your tight pussy, “Been thinking about me?” 

He drags those fingers from your core, up to your clit where he begins to play soft circles across it, it’s so gentle that your breath catches in your throat as you arch yourself into his hand, “Couldn’t stop,” You admit, turning your face to kiss his lips, “Thought about you all day.” 

He dips his fingers back into your cunt as he kisses you, you can feel him smirk against your lips when you grind down to meet his fingers, “I’ve been thinking about you all year, hot mama, couldn’t wait to get my hands on you.” 

He brings his slick fingers back up to your swollen bundle of nerves, showering it with attention as you whimper for him, arching your back and bucking your hips, fingers gripping at his arm as he works you to the crest. You come for him, moaning into his mouth as he kisses you, his fingers making sure they work you for every ounce of your orgasm. 

Joel has you more times than he can count that night. He brings you over the edge over and over again until you can do nothing but sob, beg for a reprieve but beg him not to stop. You let him put you in positions you didn’t know possible, his cock thick and heavy inside you, brushing that spot within you that makes you sing and scream for him. He fills you up with his cum, protected by the pill you take each morning, and then, when the sun is rising and the beginnings of the day break through his drawn curtains, you lie on his chest, fingers drawing patterns on his skin, slick with sweat. You’re both sore, both spent, and both happy, most importantly. You know that within the hour you’ll have to start the walk back to your own home and it’ll be like nothing ever happened. Sarah will think her dad slept on your couch and you were in your rightful place, in bed next to Tommy, and that's how it will continue to be for another year, happy with the man you love, but safe in the knowledge that you still have this slice of heaven each year. The play will continue for another year – the doting uncle and niece, the happy family with their growing son, and you’ll be happy, because this is all you’ve ever needed. 

“I love you.” Joel whispers, lips pressing a kiss to your forehead as he brushes the sweat slicked hair from your face, his eyes mapping every inch of you, claiming this scene as his own, committing it to memory so he has one thing he can think of, in the depths of his nights, when he feels the loneliest. To remind him that he’s not lonely at all, because even if he can only have you once a year, at least he can have you. He’s a simple man and he’s happy to take this one moment with you, until you decide you want more from him, if that’s ever the case. 

“I love you too Joel.” 

[wootensmith]

Until We Are Dust

(last one for now. Maybe? Anyway, unambiguously happy)

The prison was no palace, not even by the diminished standards of the modern era, but it was still large. Meant to house seven would-be gods, it had to have space to prevent constant war, corporeal or not. Solas found it a comfort to wander away from Varric at times, congenial though the dwarf remained. Even friends needed distance at times, especially here. So it was Varric who saw her first. Who she first embraced. Solas tried not to wonder if it might have been different, had he been the one closest to the rift when it appeared. He’d heard them, though. 

“You have no idea how good it is to see you, Varric.” Her voice floated through the air as if it had come from Solas’s own memories and he told himself it was a hallucination until Varric responded.  “Maker’s balls, I missed you. Told him you’d come.”

Solas abandoned his fruitless, endless search for some escape route from the prison he’d built and rushed to find them. Varric had the former Inquisitor wrapped in a tight hug. Varric must have heard him, because he let her go and turned toward him. Varric’s eyes were watery, but he only said fiercely, “You owe me a sovereign, Chuckles. No, all the sovereigns. I told you.”

He didn’t bother to respond, staring only at the Inquisitor. She was slightly softer than he remembered, laugh lines a little deeper and like Varric, her hair had faded a little. Except for the spread of the anchor to her shoulder, she was familiar. More sun-beaten, more frayed along the edges, but the same. Dearer, if that were possible. Her grin dipped after a few seconds, in concern for him. She reached toward him with her remaining arm. 

He clenched his own hands behind his back, so that he couldn’t betray himself by responding. “Are you well, emma lath?” she asked softly. He flinched at the endearment and she saw, the rest of her smile disappearing entirely. She dropped her hand, retreating. “I’m sorry. I only meant to—” Varric scowled. “Don’t mind him,” he interrupted her, squeezing her arm. “Being stuck with me made him a little cranky. Let’s get out of here, I hate this place.” That returned her smile and Solas had an unexpected flare of jealousy that he bit back. “You hate every place, Varric,” she said. “Not after here. Could kiss the filthy floor of the Hanged Man about now.” He let her go and stepped through the rippling rift beyond her. 

She half-turned to follow and then looked back at Solas. “Are you coming?” she asked. He could tell she was trying to keep her voice level, but it cracked a little at the end. “I should know the rules for my confinement before I agree, Inquisitor,” he said, hands clenched still tighter behind him. As if it were himself who had slipped the shackles on. “Confinement?” she asked, startled enough to turn fully back to face him. “What confinement?” “I cannot imagine you mean to simply release me after— everything,” he said. She looked around them at his prison, bewildered. “If I meant to keep you confined, why wouldn’t I just have left you here? It seems to have done a competent job so far.” “For Varric’s sake, I presume,” he said, not meaning to put as much biting hurt into his tone as he did.

A sad smile, then. “Solas, if I were only here for Varric, this would have been a much shorter conversation. Did you truly not believe I would come to help you? We are not foes. Or— not on my side, anyway. You won. Do you understand that? You won. It’s gone. The Veil’s gone, every place but here. This was the last remaining pocket. It would be insanity to try and prevent what’s already happened. I need—” She stopped, shook her head, “No, that argument has never persuaded you of anything, has it?” she asked, and he felt the bitterness like a sting. She took a breath. “Thedas needs your help surviving what you’ve done, if that is even enough. I’m asking you to be a gracious conqueror, because the others are—” She shut her eyes. “As cruel as you told me they would be. And I have seen— I have seen you be kind. In better days. That’s all, the only condition. Just a plea that you try to be that again. I know how little my wishes will sway you, but I’m still going to try anyway.” She turned from him and walked out of the rift, leaving it open for him to follow.

She and Varric were already hacking their way back through the dense undergrowth that surrounded the prison when he emerged, widening the very narrow path she’d made on the way in. The rift remained open, the last ragged bubble of the Veil pierced by an emerald scar.

“Please tell me we aren’t walking all the way back to the Lighthouse,” muttered Varric. “Where’s Harding? And Rook?” “No, Dorian’s just a short way ahead with the horses. Couldn’t get them through here,” she gasped, slicing at the thorn bushes ahead. “Rook’s team is— busy elsewhere. I’m sure we’ll see them when we get to their Lighthouse.” Whatever the process to finding and freeing them had been, Solas could see it hadn’t been easy. She was heavily fatigued. He touched her shoulder, then gently took the knife from her when she turned toward him and took her place clearing the way without comment. Varric stopped to raise an eyebrow, but wisely stayed silent. 

When they reached Dorian, he was nervously eyeing a growing mass of spirits that edged the clearing. The four horses unconcernedly grazing behind him. “Void’s heart, what took you so long?” he snapped, as Varric emerged from the bracken. “We’re gathering company and I’m— I’m unsure how to react, given the circumstances.” “Yeah, you and me both, Sparkler,” said Varric, instinctively reaching for the crossbow that no longer hung from his shoulder. “Good thing we’ve got an expert in tow, because he’s probably the only person who knows what to do.” “Oh really?” said Dorian whirling around to face Solas. “And how long’s he planning on sticking around this time?” “Does it matter?” asked Lavellan. “He’s here now, and we can take whatever he’s willing to teach with us when he goes.” She caught the bridle of her horse and struggled to swing herself in the saddle. Dorian saw and helped her up.

“You’re exhausted, sorora,” he said. She gave him a tired smile. “I’m well, Dorian. That was the very last rift, right?” She waved at the green veins peeking from the edges of her armor. “This is just a fancy ornament now.” “And good riddance,” Dorian snapped. 

Varric led a horse to Solas. “Come on, Chuckles. You might have a thousand years to stand around in the woods and talk to spirits, but the rest of us don’t. We have to get back to the Lighthouse before your big brother and sister figure out we’re not here anymore.” “The longer I remain with you, the greater your peril will be, Varric. They will notice I am free eventually and I assure you, their hatred has not cooled over the centuries.” “Then it is better we face them together,” said the Inquisitor, “instead of allowing them to pick us off one by one. And they will. They have. Even you cannot save the world alone, Solas.” “Though you tried for a decade without us, fool,” muttered Dorian, but handed Solas a spare staff that had been strapped to his horse’s side.

He brought it for me, Solas realized. He would not have bothered with an extra staff if they only came for Varric. Varric climbed onto his horse. “Don’t think you are getting away from us that easily. Already told you. You owe me all the sovereigns. I’d be an idiot if I let you wriggle out of that one at this point.” Solas hesitated. They do not know what they ask, he told himself, I could buy them some time if—  “Ma enasalin, fanor,” said the Inquisitor. “Tel elvar’nas.” “It isn’t cruelty to—” “To what? To abandon us?” said Dorian. “It most certainly is. You’ve already tried that. And you have no idea what you’ve done. So get on the void-spawned horse and help us, Solas. Or Elgar’nan won’t have to strike me down, because you’ll get a crack at it first.” Solas relented and let his horse follow Dorian’s.

“Solas?” asked Dorian quietly as they reached the edge of the clearing. “What are we meant to do about them?” The crowd of spirits was indeed large, spreading deep into the tall trees, twining like mist over root and around stone. “You do not need to do anything. They are only curious. Do not lash out and they will likely not harm us.” “Likely?” asked Dorian. “It is a crowd, like any other, human or elf or dwarf. Are there not cutpurses and brigands among other crowds? The majority would be just like you— curious gawkers, a few sympathisers, a few bored passers by. No one with ill intent.” “Forgive my skepticism, but what we’ve seen the past few months have been more mob than crowd.” “Yes,” he agreed, “This transition was not as gentle as I had intended. There has been a great deal of confusion. And I imagine the Evanuris are trying to foment even more. But without the Veil, there is no reason for us to be frightened of spirits, nor we of them. However, if I were to come up to you and hit you in the face, you would defend yourself, would you not? It is the same with these spirits. As long as we do not hit first, they will sate their curiosity and move on.” “Hmm. You go first then,” said Dorian, allowing his horse to fall behind Solas. It left Solas riding beside the Inquisitor.

She was sedate as the spirits parted to let them pass, as if she had seen this before. “Have there been many such crowds, Inquisitor?” he asked. “I imagine they are very curious about you, especially.” “One, when the Veil fell,” she said. “They seemed as bewildered to be seen as I was to know they were watching. They quickly dispersed. There have been one or two spirits on occasion since then but nothing like this. The few that Dorian and I encountered on our way here were not so… insistent. They did help me find your prison, though. For that I am deeply grateful.” “As am I,” he admitted. “They are not all— they are not all simply curious, Solas, Dorian is right about that,” she warned him. “How this forest has remained free of aggressive spirits I do not know. But beyond its borders, there is trouble, spirit and flesh both. We will not be able to spare them all.” “I know. I wish there had been a different way. An easier one.”

“It is done,” she said, her tone curt. “Regret cannot piece the world back together or make those remaining into friends rather than enemies. What we do now should be to that end.” “As you say.”  She fell behind as they cleared the crowd of spirits and let Varric take her place beside Solas. He wondered if there were anything he could say to put her more at ease with him.

She and Dorian were quickly proved correct. It was not an easy trek back to the relative safety of the Lighthouse. Spirits twisted by Blight and by the terror of the people remaining attacked repeatedly. Darkspawn mixed in with them. Varric complained loudly about missing Bianca, but still drove them back as best he was able, swearing the entire time. Dorian had watched in horror for a few minutes as Solas slaughtered swathes of darkspawn without breaking a sweat, but didn’t hesitate to block any that crept up from behind and quickly went back to work after he realized that, indeed, Solas could not fight all of them on his own.

The Inquisitor— ignored him, for the most part. Whether it were for her comfort or for his, Solas wasn’t certain, watching her back and arm twist as spells flung out of her in the thick of battle. She was grim and her strength flagging. They found a dry cave to shelter in for the night and Varric rustled through the saddlebags until he found a deck of cards that the Inquisitor had no doubt placed there for the purpose. Still, she did not laugh at Varric’s wit. He seemed used to this, though, never pausing in his jokes or stories, though the most he could coax from her was a ragged smile.

It appeared an old habit, this sad exchange. She was kind, as always and returned his wordplay on occasion, but she did not laugh. It depressed Solas, that absence of mirth that had been such a vibrant part of her back when— he shut off the thoughts. Dorian and Solas took the first watch. He was grateful for that arrangement, needing the break from Varric and dreading any time alone with Lavellan. Still, he spent most of his watch staring at her sleeping face beside the fire. 

“If you’re waiting for her to approach you, you’re going to be waiting until the end of the world, Solas. Though given current circumstances— I suppose that’s not saying much,” observed Dorian. “I do not expect her to approach me,” said Solas evenly. “I’d hoped she would find another, better. I’d hoped she would be leading her clan in peace by now.”

Dorian snorted a laugh. “Her clan? You think her clan would accept her again? The Herald of Andraste, without the markings her clan had given her? She’s not even a person to anyone anymore. She’s a myth to everyone except you and me and Sera. Maybe Varric. Though I think he’s overawed by her too, he just hides it better than most. Who can love a myth, Solas? There is no other, family or otherwise. You know, two years ago, she told me she wished she could be like Cole. Make everyone forget and disappear. Just— be invisible again. And then she did. Not the forgetting part. But she disappeared almost entirely. Just walked off and vanished. Of course, that was before the anchor had made it to her collar. Made it easier. Couldn’t tell you what she did in that time, though I imagine it was very much like Cole. But when Varric needed her— when you needed her, she turned up. Like she knew that she was the only one who could release you.”

“Was she like this before she disappeared?” he asked. “Exhausted and— and sad? Or is this new?” Dorian sighed. “The exhaustion is new. I suspect it was simply our journey here combined with whatever the anchor is doing to her. The sorrow… as I said, she is not a person to anyone else. It takes a toll. It has improved recently, to be frank. Since her disappearing act. Whatever you thought you were doing, this past decade, whether it was tearing down the Veil or sparing her— it didn’t go as planned. Maybe it’s time to try something different. Maybe it’s time to start listening to the people who love you, because we’re the only ones who know you’re a person too. And if you walk away from us… well, I’m guessing you remember how that goes.” 

He witnessed what Dorian had claimed when they returned to the Lighthouse. Varric had his pick of bunkmates, Rook’s team delighted at his return and eager for the stories he could tell. Dorian slid easily into a friendship with both Emmrich and Bellara discussing the changes in magic that the collapse of the Veil had brought almost immediately and he ended up taking up temporary quarters in Emmrich’s study. Rook had taken Solas’s old rooms but was out with a few of the others on their return, which left Solas the option of retaking them. Nobody approached the Inquisitor with either welcome or condemnation. He could see the awe and hesitance in their faces whenever she did address them, but none of them noticed how reluctant she was to intrude and how outside of everything she was. He wished he could offer her something he no longer had the right to offer and stayed quiet, hoping she would find her place. 

After exploring the Lighthouse on her own, as much as she was certain wouldn’t violate another’s privacy, she returned to him. Held herself stiffly as she asked him her favor.  “I understand this is your sanctuary,” she said, uneasily. “As much as anyplace is,” he answered, looking up from the notes he was scrawling for himself.  “I— would like your permission then, to read the books here. You know I haven’t had the most— accurate education about the Evanuris. Before— it didn’t matter before. It could change nothing. But now that we are to face them— if you have better information— I would like to be prepared, if possible.” Her halting request made his heart ache.

“You do not need my permission V— Inquisitor.” He cleared his throat. “I appreciate anyone’s effort at learning. You asked for my aid, did you not? All that is here will be turned toward our common goal. You do not need— please,” he shut his eyes, “it is uncomfortable enough that you have called me a conqueror. Please do not ask my permission for— a— anything. It is— disturbing to think of myself so. To think of you of all—” he cut himself off. Held out his hand toward the bookshelves with a tight smile. “Please, anything that may be of use is at your disposal.” And then he’d fled the library and worried that his fleeing had caused her fresh hurt but had no idea how to ease it. He’d returned very late, thinking he would have the library to himself, that there’d be no risk of seeing her and stumbling through another awkward conversation. 

But he’d found her fast asleep in one dark corner. It was obvious she hadn’t fallen asleep mid-book, though a small stack sat beside her. She had made herself a tiny camp, her head resting on her saddlebags and a ragged cloak still spattered with ichor covering her. He realized then, that none of the others had taken her in. Likely hadn’t even thought of it. Immortal, bloodless, myths don’t need to sleep either. Or if they do, they magic themselves away, don’t they? He thought. This wouldn’t do. For either of them. When Rook returned, she would not be pleased to find him invading what she obviously now thought of as her rooms. He needed to build something more appropriate. Well, he thought, have I not shaped the Fade to my purpose for centuries? Another few rooms will not be so taxing. He left the Inquisitor undisturbed in the library and focused his efforts on expanding the Lighthouse. 

He fought himself, afraid of exposing how much he still yearned for her, trying not to put too much of what he knew she loved into it, trying to pretend it was just an empty space. Just room to grow, regardless of the occupant. The others’ rooms though— Varric’s was warm and comfortable, massive fireplace, comfortable writing desk, large card table. Dorian’s fine and temperate, filled with arcane murals and experimental equipment. But hers— empty. A question without any answer. 

Varric found him still struggling to alter it.  “Expanding, Chuckles?” “Attempting.” “Why? We won’t be here long.” “You should still be comfortable for as long as the stay is.” Varric stared skeptically at the cold stone room in front of them. “And this is your room?” “The Inquisitor’s. She should not be sleeping on the floor of the library.” “Why do you want her sleeping in your prison then, Solas?” “I— don’t,” he protested, realizing it was the exact effect he had recreated. “Hmm. I see. That would explain why you made rooms for only three instead of four. You shouldn’t be punishing her even if you still think you deserve it yourself, you know.” “I’m not—” “You even talked with her yet? Not just—” he waved at the blank room. “Not just about bunking together, which is obviously on your mind—” “It’s—” “— but about anything?” Varric pushed through, ignoring him. “Because I’m pretty sure she resigned herself to not having a good ending to this story years and years ago. But I’d guess it’s still in your power to make a couple of the days in between now and then pretty happy. If you try. If— If that’s even something you care about doing anymore.” Solas didn’t answer and Varric gave up with a sigh and a shake of his head. “Anyway, I appreciate the space. And the desk, even if I’m not sitting still long enough to write anything. Old habits, eh?” he wandered off to his new room.

She was not in the library after he gave up on the project, settling for a very large, very bland room with a small cot shoved into one corner and a carved chest at it’s foot, one that he remembered her admiring when they had visited Hawen’s clan so long ago. That was all he trusted himself to presume. The rest… he found he had no real idea what she would enjoy any longer. No real idea what he, himself, would have either, if he’d allowed himself that. But a cot was better than the library floor, he reasoned, and she could alter it if she wished. Her saddlebags and cloak were not in the corner of the library either and he had a few moments of anxiety before finding Dorian.

“Is she gone?” he asked, without preamble. Dorian looked up from the small pile of red lyrium crystals he’d been examining. “The Warden needed her. Got word of a darkspawn swarm near an old thaig. There are people living there and they went to help push them back. You know how hard it is for her to stand still for long.” “Why didn’t anyone call me?” Solas asked. “I would have gone.” “We didn’t pluck you out of that oubliette to smack darkspawn, Solas, adept as you may be at it. We need you to figure out how to fight the Evanuris.” “But you allowed the Inquisitor to go?” Dorian scowled at that. “Allowed? She’s not my trained bird.” “You know that is not what I meant.” “And you know that if I really believed she were in danger I would be right beside her. She’s as competent as she ever was during the Inquisition. More. And this— extra activity is healthy for her. For that sadness you were talking about. Makes her feel… like she exists, like she matters to someone.”

He plonked down the pair of forceps he’d been holding, frustrated. “Look,” he said, with a bit more patience, “I’m not happy you did what you did, I don’t think I will ever forgive you. It is fortunate for you that she can. Has. But the honest truth is that this is the most free she’s been since the Breach. If there’s one iota of good in all this, it’s that. Since you took down the Veil, there are no more rifts. There’s no more patching to do with the anchor. She just herself. And when someone values her just for herself it’s— good. It’s still not enough, they still treat her like a golem or something, but she knows now that it’s not because of her mark. Your mark. That it’s all her own doing, regardless of you. I’m certainly not going to be the one to take that away from her. You want to worry about her? I’m glad. Means we’re not all ants to you. But I’m not the person you should be talking to about it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to figure out this crud your buddies have been leaving in their wake.” He waved at the pile of crystals and bent back over his work.

Solas went back to the empty room he’d tried to make for her. The blandness was an insult. An anonymous inn room. As if she were, indeed, not a person. He had to fix it. He stared at the blank walls, at a complete loss. Would she want it to feel like an aravel? A hammock or a quiet field under the sky? But she’d left her clan. Like her rooms in Skyhold? That, too, she had abandoned when the Inquisition dissolved. He knew how he’d have done it if she still loved him. A skylight for stars and a scarred wooden table with a shelf for drying herbs and a half-dozen books opened to old drawings, waterstained at the edges. That ridiculous four-poster that had been a gift of the Empress lurking in the corner where they’d never slept and the pile of furs where they had— but this was not then. And most of that had been trappings of the Inquisition. Something foisted upon her. How much of it would be what she would have chosen? The room stayed sparse and pale.

She startled him, still sitting there in the center. “Solas? Varric said you needed something,” she offered from the doorway. He turned to look at her, gave her a rueful smile. “I only wanted you to have a space here. The library floor cannot be comfortable.” She looked at the rickety cot in the corner. “Ah. Thank you,” she said. “I wish that I could make it more to suit you, but I find every time I try to imagine what you would most enjoy, it always ends up as the way it was when we were… I apologize, Inquisitor. I cannot seem to avoid interposing my own ideas. Perhaps it would be better if you told me what you want without… me.”

She walked over to him, dumping her saddlebags near the door. Sat down in the middle of the floor, close to him, but not close enough that they were touching.  “Who in the world told you that any version of what I wanted was ‘without you?’” she asked, staring at the wall in front of them rather than look at him.  His heart felt as if it would fly from his chest. “Hmm,” was all he said. The muscle in the side of her jaw pulsed. An old familiar signal that she was very distressed. “This is— a quiet space away from the others,” she said, concluding that he would say nothing more, “It’s just what I need. Thank you.” He knew it was a lie.

“It’s been ten years,” he said quietly. She glanced at him and then quickly away, stricken. “Ah. Yes. I’d thought it wouldn’t seem so long to you, in the grand scheme… I shouldn’t have assumed. Thank you for the space, truly. I’ll leave you be and I’m certain Rook will be able to find an assignment for me elsewhere shortly.” She began picking herself up to stand and he stopped her, his hand heavy on her knee.

“It has been ten years, and I have missed you every single moment. These years were… interminable. I know I have no right to ask… don’t go. Please.” She shook her head and her eyes filled and then all of her pent-up grief burst out. “Davrin said it looked like you’d lived here alone all this time. I am so sorry, emma lath, I failed you. What is it I could have said to persuade you? I know this destruction wasn’t what you planned. I would have aided you if you’d only explained what the—” “You didn’t fail,” he protested, pressing his palm to her cheek. “There was nothing I could hear— I didn’t want this life for you. For any of my friends. And now you are entangled in it. This wasn’t the plan, no, but the Veil had to be removed even if everything had gone perfectly. There still would have been some destruction and you have suffered too much already.”

“Then help me fix it,” she said. “Not the Veil— we existed before it did, there must be a way to survive. Help me find it. Help me shield who we can.” “I will. I am. But I would have done what I could without involving you.” She smiled but it was bitter. “I know there are few who remember I am, indeed, of this world, but I am. Born in Free Marches dirt just like the rest of my family. I am involved, whatever your wishes might have been.”

She pulled his hand gently away from her face, placed it carefully back on his own leg and released him. “Solas— there is no portion of my life I want to be ‘without you’ as you say. But if it is you who wishes for this Lighthouse and this battle to be without me, or if you fear I will complicate things by repeating unwanted bids for your affection, be easy. I will never push. And if it is more comfortable for me to fight on a different field with different companions, that can be arranged. But you should know that I will be on a battlefield somewhere, because this is my world, too.”

He watched her, looking for some doubt, some recrimination, but there was none. Only despair because she expected another refusal, of that he was certain. “Then I would have it be on the same battlefield. Ar lath ma. But after everything, all that has occurred, I cannot believe that I deserve—” She pressed her fingers to his lips to stop him. “It has been ten years, fanor,” she said with a small smile, dropping her hand, “and I am old enough to know you will never believe me if I argue. Instead, I will only ask, what of the happiness that I deserve, after all this time? Would you deny me the chance to stand with the person I love?”

It disarmed all the old arguments he’d repeated to himself for years. He could resist no longer, gathering her up into a kiss as if he could melt into her. The room around them altered, an expansive starry sky overhead, the crackle of a campfire nearby and two bedrolls overlapping one another. “Stay, Vhenan,” he begged her, his thumb soothing that muscle in her jaw, trying to erase the grief it held. Her arm around him tightened, just slightly. “Sule ar’ane nisathe, emma lath,” she breathed against his lips. He nodded. “Until we are dust,” he agreed.

(will I write more or just lurk for another two years? Who knows? The Shadow knows. But the 300k plus words I've already put down says I'll probably be back... unless some new character in Veilguard becomes my obsession)

[deadnymph8]

AEGON II TARGARYEN X READER

content warnings⚠️ loss of virginity (for you), small age gap (3 years), slightly older women/younger man, p in v sex, aegon being a pervy loser, we love it though, small use of Y/N, chubby aegon, always drunk aegon, small bit of public groping, no protection

Notes: Posted originally to ao3 but I took it down and fixed it up a bit. Still this was like my first fanfiction in 7 years so be nice or I'll cry (also haven't used this app in like 8 years forgive me)

In you're teenage years you were the next door neighbor to one of the richest family's in westeros. You weren't necessarily born rich you only lived next door because you're mom ended up re marrying some rich CEO millionaire and swiftly moved in with him.

You're step dad was pretty close with the owner of the house next door Viserys targaryen and due to that you had become accustom to all his children.

You were older then all of them closest in age being the eldest boy aegon, he was three years younger than you but you were close enough in age to get along and become somewhat friends.

You assumed that was why alicent the mother of the children and Viserys's wife came to you and asked you to babysit her kids for a weekend. You were a trusted friend and while yes they could hire a nanny you were told the last one ended up quiting after only a month. newly turned 13 year old aegon broke into the wine cabinet and got plastered.

You didn't get details on the rest but you knew it must have been a bad night since they were struggling to find a new nanny who could stay longer than a month.

Alicents last resort was to ask someone she thought could connect better with the kids, mainly aegon since he was the biggest problem. She needed a strong role model and someone aegon was familiar with. after seeing how aegon behaved in you're presence she thought you to be the perfect candidate for the job and so you accepted.

"I don't need a babysitter I'm 13 for fucks sake!" Aegon argued to his mother as you stood behind her.

"You aren't responsible enough to be trusted alone and that's the last of it!" His mother yelled back. Looking clearly frustrated and exhausted as if she had done this a million times.

You stood to the side of alicent now already feeling uncomfortable. You'd probably be upset aswell if you were in aegon's shoes but alicent insisted she needed a good influence like you.

Aegon stormed off slamming the door of his room. "I'm sorry dear, he won't bother you I've made sure all alcohol is put away...all you need to do is keep him in the house" alicent spoke giving you the rundown on you're job. You took in everything she said, she told you that you wouldn't be completely alone.

They still had a housekeeper that would come in mornings and clean up and you didn't need to worry that much.

That night actually went pretty smooth. Aegon was grumpy and hid in his room most the night while you played with the younger kids on their xbox. Things actually went so well that alicent asked you to come back again.

It actually felt nice getting some of you're own money aswell and to be independent for once

Babysitting had become a regular occurrence for you for awhile. Alicent always praised you for just how well you did with aegon.

Eventually though you turned 18 and you got into college, not the one you wanted but it was only a few hours away and finally gave you a chance to escape you're house and live on you're own.

And how did aegon feel about this? He should feel happy, You were nothing more than a neighbor his mother hired to hover around him and keep him out of trouble. He resented you for that, he hated how pretty you were, how sweet you were to him.

He should be cheering knowing he would have some freedom but with you gone the only thing he felt was this overwhelming feeling of emptiness and loneliness.

He always found himself searching for you're praise. He'd actually get himself to do homework just so he could hear you talk about how proud you were of him.But now with you gone he didn't have a reason to try anymore and almost immediately he fell back into bad habits. Drinking, partying, drugs and sex. He did it all and no matter how much he did over the next three years he could never get rid of that aching empty feeling deep down.

When aegon turned 18 his mother began demanded he go to college. Demanded he make something of himself. He didn't bother trying with any of the big colleges he just found the closest one and decided that was good enough for him to keep his mom off his back. Even if he didn't get in with his grades he'd get in easy being as rich as he was. His father could just drop a generous donation and he'd get in with no problem at all. So when he arrived of course aegon joined the biggest frat on campus. The partys, the girls and the drugs. It all came so easy to him now.

When his frat decided to put on yet another rager he didn't think much of it. After three months here it was becoming his normal. He walked passed the group of drunk college kids, a drink in his hand as he wondered through the halls of the frat house probably long faded by now. originally his mind was set on getting wasted and maybe he'd bang a cheerleader if he was still able to stand.

He turned to the kitchen wanting to refill his cup when his eyes wondered on the back of a girl grabbing a soda off the counter. Something about her was so familiar but he couldn't see her face to find out why.

Mabey one of his many one night stands? or an old classmate oh his? She wasn't dressed like the other girls around. She was dressed casual, Wearing some jeans and a baggy sweatshirt. She definitely looked out of place compared to the small crop tops and short dresses most girls chose to wear.

He began taking a few steps closer. He didn't know why but he felt drawn in to her and when she finally turned around nothing could have fully prepared him for what he saw. You.

It was you. an uncomfortable and nearly sad look on you're face as you opened up your coke and took a drink, eyes wondering around the room full of dancing college kids until they fell on him. For a moment you both just stared at each other, neither really knowing what to say.

"Egg? What are you doing here?" You finally asked breaking the small awkward silence that fell between you both.

That stupid little nickname. Hearing it after so long made his heart race a bit. He always hated when you used to call him that but now hearing it again after so long he'd grown to miss it. Crave it even. Aegon didn't know why but a part of him almost felt embarrassed. Shame even. Her seeing him absolutely wasted after three years of not speaking.

"I'm uh- I'm in the frat" he responded and snapped himself back into reality. "and why are you here? I mean clearly you don't want to be" aegon swiftly added leaning against the kitchen counter in an attempt to go back to his normal self.

"was it really that obvious" you thought to yourself self. "My friend dragged me here...said I should let lose or whatever" you sighed. "And are you? Letting lose?" Aegon couldn't help but smirk at the idea.

He always had a weird fascination with you. All those times you slept over and he'd sneak into your bag of packed clothes and steal you're little white lace panties.

All those times he'd jerk himself off into them imagining himself buried deep inside of you're soaked cunt. All those times he'd spy on you changing through the crack in the bathroom door.

All those dirty dirty memories rushing back to him all at once.

"Absolutely not" The truth was you never cared for partys, you stuck to you're studys and kept to yourself. If it wasn't for you're best friend Tina you'd never consider coming to a place like this on a sunday night before class. You haven't even dated anyone before. You went on a couple dates but ultimately you decided love had no place for you right now.

You needed to focus on you're studys not a relationship

"So...why haven't you left? If you hate it here why not just go home and watch those hot vampire movies you love so much" Aegon always did love teasing you on you're intrests.

It used to annoy you to no ends. "My friend is my ride and she's...busy" you sighed again remembering how you're friend Tina decide to completely ditch you to go off with some guy Leaving you to try and waste time as you waited for her to get done with her boy toy and take you back to you're dorm were you could sleep off the day and this party.

"Why not walk? The dorms aren't far from here?" He asked making you laugh slightly "Walking alone as a woman at night isn't the safest idea eggs" you had pepper spray yes but you really didn't want to risk any trouble especially with a bunch of drunk frat boys all over.

"Why don't I walk you? I need some fresh air anyway" aegon knew he wanted to talk to you, he knew he couldn't let you walk away so easily and now he finally had his excuse. He had spent the past three years missing you're presence and he wouldn't waste the opportunity to get it back.

You took a second to agree but as you looked around at the room of drunk people dancing and making you you knew what you're awnser would be

"Sounds good to me get me out of here" you smiled at him. Gods how he missed that smile. You followed him out of the frat house feeling a sense of relief to be away from the crowd and the loud music blasting in you're ears.

"Soo how's college been?" Aegon hummed walking side by side with you. He looked so smug he always did but what did you really expect from a rich kid who got everything handed to him.

You almost hated how attractive it was. Before you never thought of him of like that but seeing him now, grown. It was like something just broke inside you. It couldn't be attraction? Right?

"It's been fine I guess just a bunch of the same for me, studying and learning and more studying" you rolled you're eyes already feeling exhausted just thinking about it.

"So no boyfriend I'm assuming?" Aegon's smile grew wider. You couldn't tell if he was teasing you or mocking you but either way you rolled you're eyes and refused to give him a response.

He laughed seeing you go quiet "I knew it" he crossed his arms acrossed his chest making frown in annoyance.

"You don't need to rub it in eggs" you sighed as the two of you approached campus and walked up to the dormitories.

"I'm not rubbing in I'm actually glad you're single makes things easier for me" he hummed almost immediately his words made you tense up.

"Excuse me?" you tried to act calm seeing as you couldn't tell if he was being serious or if it was just another one of his many games.

You remembered aegon was always a bit of a flirt even a creep at times with the few times you had caught his eyes wondering to you're chest or hips.

You told yourself he was just a horny teenager and it didn't mean anything.

"Come on Y/N I know you heard me" he said back as you both walked down the hall of the dorms stopping as you reached you're door.

"What are you trying to do here" You finally asked but in response aegon only smirked at you

"you're a smart girl Y/N don't act clueless with me" Before you could speak aegon stepped closer and backed you into you're door frame making a small gasp slip from you're lips.

You told yourself it was the alcohol or whatever drug he could be on that was making him this bold but the way he looked at you let you knew just how serious he really was.

"Do you even know how much I've missed you these past three years how much I have yearned for you" aegon whispered his hands now wondering to you're waist while his head moved to you're neck planting small kisses on you're skin.

"Aegon-" you whined, hands resting on his chest as if you were about to push him away but you couldn't get yourself to do it.

"Ive probably jerked myself off thinking of you more times than i can count" Aegon's hands began wondering up you're sweatshirt to you're than waist to you're breasts, groping you right in the middle of the hallway.

"We shouldn't do this" You gulped before reaching you're hand to the handle of you're door and twisting it open "Not here" Aegon kept his grip on you while you pulled him into you're dorm hoping it was late enough and no one you knew would have seen what just happened.

Now that you were all alone aegon didn't hesitate to pull you close and slam his lips against yours. It didn't take long for both of you to fall ontop of you're bed while he climbed on top of you, hands wondering up you're hoodie to grope you once again.

You took it upon yourself to pull away from the kiss and yank you're hoodie off you're head.

"You're fucking stunning always have been" he whispered before his hands moved to try unclip the straps of you're bra and pull it off you revealing you're bare breasts to him.

He stared almost in a trance, he wasn't going to lie. he had definitely seen your boobs before during the many times he'd spy on you change but having them up close was something completely different.

His hands moved to play with your nipples making a small moan slip from your lips, he smiled in response pleased with himself.

"I knew you'd be sensitive" before you could say anything he latched onto one of your breasts and began to softly nibble at your soft flesh making you squirm underneath him.

"I uh- I should tell you something" you quickly cut him off making him look up and turn his head up at you.

"I've never done anything like this before" You finally spat it out making his smile only grow more.

Not only was he getting to sleep with the girl of his dreams but he got the pleasure of being her very first. "You're still a virgin?" He questioned and you simply nodding back shyly.

"That's ok don't worry I'll make it good for you" he leaned in and kissed your cheek before discarding his own shirt to the side.

Aegon wasn't the most well built, he didn't have abs in fact he actually had a small bit of a tummy on him. You didn't mind of course, you found every inch of him to be perfect.

You moved your hands to the buttons of your jeans and began pulling them down a delighted look on Aegon's face as he did the same to himself. Before long you were both in your underwear, aegon kissing down your neck leaving small marks as he went along. "People will see those" you whined. 

"That's the plan doll" his hands wondering up you're thighs to the waistband of your panties tugging at them before he slipped a finger inside and began running his finger along you're slit.

"You're so wet" aegon whispered in your ear before slipping a finger inside of you.

You whimpered a bit as he began slowly moving his finger in and out of you and once he felt you were ready he added in a second, thrusting his fingers deep inside you're tight wet cunt.

"Aegon please" you moaned his name Sounding like a angel to him, an angel he could not wait to corrupt.

You arched your back feeling his fingers hit a sensitive spot inside you. "Gonna cum for me baby? You can do it be a good girl and spill yourself on my hand"

You nodded in response the feeling of your peak rising quicker and quicker. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders hiding your head in his chest as you came moaning out against him.

You panted softly coming down from your high as he pulled his fingers back and yanked off your panties finally. Next he pulled down his own boxers revealing his leaking throbbing cock.

"I don't think I've ever been this hard" he gasped as he began slightly stroking himself spreading his precum to lube up his cock. you were a bit worried seeing his size, he definitely was bigger than you expected.

Aegon grabbed your legs opening them up before lining himself up with your slit.

"Be gentle please" you asked making him plant a soft kiss on your lips. "Tell me if it hurts" he replied before he began pushing the tip of his cock inside earning a small gasp from you.

He pushed inside inch by inch until he was fully inside, bottoming out on top you as small moans of his own slipped out. "So good baby- so tight so perfect" he panted a bit feeling you squeeze tight around him.

"So big" you whined as aegon kissed down your neck again, in an attempt to Soothe you're discomfort.

He couldn't remember a time he'd ever been so caring and affectionate with a girl, no that was just you. You did something to him. Something that he just couldn't understand. An overwhelming need to protect you and keep you close

He made sure to wait a minute before beginning to thrust himself, moving his hand to play with your clit in another attempt to help take away your pain. You clung onto him as he picked pace, getting faster and faster.

He knew he said he'd be gentle but you were so damn irresistible he couldn't stop his instincts to just ravage you like a dog in heat. Soon the pain left little by little and it was replaced with pleasure.

The mixed sounds of both of your whimpers and moans filling your dorm room. "So beautiful baby" aegon whispered between his small pants and moans in you're ear "Everything I've always dreamed of- fuck- I need you I need you" his hands grabbed your hips slamming you further down onto him.

"I want you so bad- be mine please baby say you'll be mine" he was a mess he knew he was but so were you. "I'm yours aegon im all yours-" you quickly choked out. The Small tears in you're eyes driving him crazy.

Those words alone were all aegon needed to finally reach his peak, being so caught up in the moment he hadn't even bothered to ask if you were on the pill before spilling every drop of his seed deep inside of you. He continued to hold you a part of him worried if he let go you'd leave again.

"All mine" he kissed your cheek softly still attempting to catch his breath "all yours" you smiled at him, That same smile that he had loved for years now, the same smile he promised he'd never let go of again

[moonlightndaydreams]

Limbo - part 9

Pairing: Lee Minho x fem reader x Han Jisung

part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4 / part 5 / part 6 / part 7 / part 8 / part 9 /

Synopsis: Lee Minho is the mysterious new accountant at your workplace, and he seems to have his sights set on you. But things aren't so simple when your ex boyfriend Han comes back into the picture. Can you and Minho make it work, or will you get back with Han?

Spoiler: Happy ending, eventual poly minsung.

MDNI / smut

Chapter Summary: I don't want to spoil anything.

a/n: This was meant to be the final chapter, but I haven’t got around to adding everything to it. So I’m posting it as is. I hope you have enjoyed this series so far. I will be back with one final chapter after this.

Reblogs are super helpful, but I'd love for you to leave a comment if you enjoyed it. Should I write more Minsung?

Taglist: open.

A/n: this story may be familiar to some. It’s a rework of one of my older stories where I’ve now changed my fem lead to be reader.

“You’ve been avoiding me, and now I know why!” Han sneered. Anger burned in his eyes as he glared at Minho.

“I don’t know what you think you’re doing Minho. You string me along anyway, telling me it’s friendship. You say you don’t want me. But then I see the way you look at me. It’s not fair of you, but I can live with it.

But Y/n? She deserves better than what you’ve done to her? Fucking her and then giving her no explanation as to why you ended things like you did? Do you know what she thinks?” His voice was full of bitterness.

Minho finally met Han’s eyes.

“She thinks you hate her.”

“That’s not true.” Minho’s eyes were full of despair as he stared at the man in front of him.

“Then what is it?” Han growled, grabbing Minho by the collar and shoving him against wall of Minho’s office.

“It was inappropriate to date your ex. Han, it would’ve made things…strained… between you and me. I broke it off as soon as I found out. Besides, I thought that maybe you two would probably get back together.” Minho lowered his head feeling ashamed.

This was not how Minho wanted things to turn out. All he wanted was to protect the people he cared about, the people he’d fallen in love with. He thought distancing himself would be the right thing to do.

But Han had stormed into Minho’s office, and now Minho had to finally deal with the mess he’d caused.

Han was right. Minho had strung him along. He hadn’t meant to. He wasn’t supposed to fall in love with the messed up, broken boy that had come into his life.

Fuck, how he had to control his feelings when Han had shown his interest in him. But it would have been wrong to allow Han to get close to him like that. He was his mentor for fuck’s sake, it would have been taking advantage of him.

But he couldn’t not see him. Under the guise of wanting to be just Han’s friend, Minho could continue to selfishly be in Han’s world long after their program ended.

Oh how he would often wish that someone would come along that would catch his attention. That there’d be someone else out there for him.

And then he started is new job and met you. A welcome distraction. A new beginning. Minho was hopeful that you would be the person that he could have a future with. He could see it in his mind’s eye. He really could.

What were the chances that you were Han’s ex girlfriend?

And now you were gone too. He’d managed to fuck that up before it even properly began.

All he wanted to do was get over Han, and now he had to get over you both.

Han gripped Minho’s jaw, holding it so he couldn’t look away. “Y/n's an incredible woman. You two could have made each other happy. There was no reason you couldn’t have made it work, even if you knew she was my ex.” He whispered.

Minho stared into Han’s heartbroken eyes. “Hannie,”

Han released Minho, dropping his hands to his sides. Minho, without thinking reached up and cupped his cheek. “I broke it off with her… and I’ve been avoiding you because… fuck,” Minho looked up the ceiling and sighed, then returned his gaze to Han. “I’m fucking in love with you both.”

Han made to take a step back, but Minho held him in place, still cupping his cheek. His thumb traced over his trembling bottom lip, and then he leaned in connecting his lips with Han’s and taking him in a soft kiss.

He was sure Han would pull away and punch him in the face, but instead he started to kiss Minho back. He even slightly parted his lips allowing Minho to gently deepen the kiss.

This was wrong. Kissing Han was only going to complicate things further. But he couldn’t stop. He wanted to remember the feeling, the taste of his lips forever. Who knew if once this was over he would ever be able to be this close to him again?

-------------------------------

You entered the cozy restaurant and closed your umbrella, leaving it the bucket at the front door. You were grateful to be out of the rain. It was definitely not the kind of weather you wanted to be out and about in, but Han had said Mina wanted her to come to dinner with them, to say thank you for her support with their mom.

You followed the waiter as he ushered you through to a table in the back corner of the restaurant. You were nervous about seeing Han again. You hadn’t seen him since you slept together, although you had been texting. Things had seemed good between you in the written form, but you had no idea how you were going to feel face to face.

“Here you are.” The waiter said, gesturing to the table in the corner. You stopped dead in your tracks. Han was already seated, but next to him, backed turned to you, was not Mina at all. It was… you walked around the table to find…Minho.

You had so far successfully avoided him since returning to work. Actually, you only ever left your office to use the bathroom because quite frankly you didn’t want to see anyone who might have heard that audio of you having sex.

Your eyes widened at the situation before you. Han looked up at you hopefully, but all you could do was shake your head ready to walk straight out of there.

Minho was just as surprised at seeing you. He glanced at Han confused and then angrily up at you. He stood as if to leave too.

“Y/n, Minho… please…” Han stood up and gestured for both of you to sit.

Tears welled up in your eyes. Han had tricked you. Half of you wanted to run away, the other half wanted to hear him out. What was going on? Why did he ask you here? Why was Minho here?

You lowered yourself into the chair, and poured a glass of water from the jug on the table. Minho hesitated a moment longer before he also sat himself back down. An awkward tension filled the room as you waited for Han to speak.

“Look. I know I lied to you to get you to come here. I’m sorry.” He paused. “Actually, no I’m not sorry at all.” His voice turned assertive.

Both you and Minho sat in silence and waited for Han to continue.

“Minho,” Minho looked to Han confused. “Tell her why you broke it off. She deserves to know the truth.” He insisted.

Minho opened his mouth with a horrified look, “What? Hannie? I can’t.” he shook his head. You had never seen him look so…scared.

“Minho,” Your voice was soft and soothing, but inside you were scared too. What was he going to tell you? “Please…” you urged.

Minho paused for what felt like an eternity, then cleared his throat. “Y/n. When you and I met, I didn’t know you and Han were, used to be, together.” He started nervously. He looked between Han and you. “Then, when I found out, I thought it would be for the best if I kept my distance.”

You nodded solemnly.

Minho gulped. “But there’s more.” His eyes darted to Han and then to you.

“Go on.” Han encouraged him.

“I can’t.” Minho squeezed his eyes shut as though he was willing himself to disappear.

“Please, Minho. Please just tell me.” You whispered. You wanted to understand. You wanted closure.

“I had…have…feelings for Han.” He dropped his head as if waiting for you to explode in anger.

That was not what you expected to hear. “Hannie!” You turned your attention to your ex. Your mind was buzzing with a million thoughts. So many conflicting feelings raced through your body. On one hand you were heartbroken that Minho left you. You'd felt like you'd been kicked in the guts. But you wanted Han to be happy. Maybe Han and Minho could find a way to be together after all.

“So are you two…like….together now? Wait.” You paused as a revelation hit you. “Han? Did you bring me here to give you both some kind of blessing or something? Because, honestly, I’m fine. I really am. You two would look amazing together. It’s really… wonderful. It’s amazing.”

Your voice was becoming more forced and shrill the more you spoke. Your skin burned. Tears threatened to spill out of your eyes, and you felt like you were going to vomit. You were happy for them. You really were. But it hurt. It hurt to be a rebound. It hurt to be rejected.

You didn’t feel like you were in your body as you walked out of the restaurant. You didn’t pick up your umbrella, you didn’t care that the rain was pouring down outside. You didn’t get into your car. You just kept walking up the street. Your hair was drenched. Your makeup ran down your cheeks. Your barely heard the voices calling after you, getting closer.

“Y/n, please. Wait.” Minho stepped in front of you stopping you by grasping your wrists and pulling you under the awning of a Thai restaurant for shelter.

“You have my blessing, I told you!” You wailed, trying to free yourself from his grip.

“I hadn’t finished, y/n! Stop running away.” He growled gripping your wrists tighter, and you fell silent. His hair was sopping wet, droplets of water were running down his beautiful face.

“I can’t just be with Han when I’m fucking in love with you too.”

You stood frozen. He was in love with you? He was in love with Han? He was in love with both of you?

You shook your head. “So what are you saying? You want to date us both?” You said sarcastically.

“I hope that’s what he’s saying.” A voice behind you said. You turned to see Han, also soaking wet, and panting from running to catch up. He took both Minho’s and your hands in his. “Y/n,” Han started. “Maybe Minho can have us both?” He said hopefully and shrugged.

You turned back to Minho. Was that really an option? Could you and Han really both date him? Could it really work? How would it work? What would that mean for you and Han? Things were complicated. What if this fucked everything up even more?

“I slept with Han.” You blurted out. “After you started ignoring me.” You regretted saying it as soon as it left your lips. “I’m so sorry Han…. I shouldn’t have said that.” Your hand covered your mouth.

Minho pulled your hand away and his mouth was on yours. He kissed you like he never wanted to let you go. At first you wanted to push him away, tell him to fuck off. But then a burning heat coursed through your veins and you found yourself melting against him. You'd missed him more than you knew. You kissed him back, finding his tongue, communicating with him how much you needed him. You didn’t know what you were doing, or what was going to happen after this, but for now you held onto this moment for as long as you could.

He eventually peeled away only to take Han in an equally heated kiss. Han still had one hand holding yours, squeezing it as his other snaked around Minho’s waist. Minho held his face in his hands as their mouths explored each other. Their perfect lips connecting in the most beautiful, passionate way.

You thought sex with Minho was the most erotic thing you'd experienced, but that paled in comparison to watching the two men in front of you. It stirred something inside of you. Curiosity, yes. But there was something else. It was love? A love for both of them. You wanted them both too.

They eventually pulled themselves away from each other, and gazed into each other’s eyes.

“Han?” You whispered. He turned to face you. You took both his hands in yours. “If you’re not one hundred percent okay with this, I won’t do it. But if you are…” your concern turned into a smile and Han smiled too. It had been so long since he smiled like this, like in the photos hidden in your drawer. It was a smile you'd missed and it lit up your heart.

Then you did something you didn’t expect. You kissed him. Not a hungry, wild kiss. Just a small, careful, hopeful kiss.

“I’m one hundred percent okay with this.” He whispered.

Minho cleared his throat. “So, kittens, think maybe we should get out of the rain. Maybe go back to-

“Let’s go back to my house.” You offered. “I’ll make coffees, we can get some takeaway dinner, and maybe we can talk more about how we’re going to do this throuple thing, yeah?”

-------------------------

A/n: I will be back with a final smut scene but please be patient because I’m going through a writing lull.

@channieandhisgoonsquad @noellllslut @itsseohannbin @weareapackofstrays @xxkissesforchanniexx @starr-lvst @queen-in-the-shadows @bethanysnow @newhope8 @chuuchuu1224 @vanillacupcakefrosting @3rachasdomesticbanana @fun-fanfics @palindrome969 @wolfennracha @rhonnie23 @jisunglyricist @strayywayy @rixenluv @yaorzu-blog @drunkewok @igetcarriedawaywithyou @minh0scat @kiaralynn3838 @everythingboutkpop @sannieluvrr @jiminssluttyminx @lunearta

[bridgertonandchocolate]

Finished Bridgerton season 3 part 2 this morning and I have some initial thoughts after only one viewing. So I may forget something along the way. I have mixed feelings as a fan of the books. Overall if I didn’t have any book knowledge I would say it’s stellar but as a book fan there were parts I was certainly disappointed with. I’m sure the more I watch it I will get more used to it just as I did with part one but for now here’s some things I liked and probably some things I didn’t like.

Spoilers abound so if you haven’t seen it don’t continue reading.

My favorite episodes for part 2 were 5 and 7. While episode 5 was jam packed it was a good mix of things we love from the book.

I don’t think Pens family should have found out about her engagement in LW but that’s slim pickings to some other things that happened in this part. I loved Colin telling Portia off. I love how he was very much putting his love out there unabashedly. Whereas in the book the boy still didn’t have a clue. Everything that happened in their home from the mirror to everything else I thought was exquisite and well done. They packed it full of dialogue and book references so much so that I felt like they’d have nothing left for the other episodes. Loved the scene overall.

While I love the intimacy scenes with Polin I wish there was more. They promised so much steaminess and sexiness and it wasn’t there. There were many of missed opportunities throughout the other episodes too that I felt like they could’ve focused more on Polin than they did and more intimacy scenes definitely wouldn’t have hurt.

I hated how Colin responded once he discovered her. His arguments for being so angry felt so disingenuous to me. In the first two seasons he really didn’t pay much attention to LW at all and in fact I think at one point he even suspected Eloise so I don’t understand where this sudden hatred came from because it never really came about before. And then he just continued to be so angry about it. I hated that he wouldn’t even sleep in their room with Pen because he knows he still loves her. He still wanted a life with her. I think in the book he was still able to do that and he was much less angry and more concerned with her well-being. It’s just a difference I’ll have to get used to for the sake of my Polin heart. It just didn’t make sense to me. I also felt like this led to not much development for Colin. We see him feeling not so worthy and even not sure if Pen reciprocated feelings for him. All we really see is that he kind of gets over his hero complex and he realizes he was just jealous of her. They seemed to give a lot of his character development to Benedict in this part particularly about purpose and I felt this was a wasted opportunity. There was growth but nothing like we see with Pens growth. I loved this change from the book. That through Colin she used her new confidence to “save herself”. She was proud of that part of her and seeing her want to expose herself as LW was fabulous.

The Polin wedding was so beautiful and I nearly cried. I think Penelope’s wedding ring which is a claddagh ring is definitely a nod to Nicola Coughlan which I thought was amazing for them to do.

My favorite line from RMB didn’t even make it into the show. I was so disappointed about that and was yelling at my screen at times. I don’t know if I’ll get over it. The whole bit about him loving her with everything he is, had been and hopes to be and his past and future. And the future children and the smiles. All just gone. I wanted to cry.

I’m sure there will be more Polin thoughts. Overall I was mostly pleased but wished there would have been more spicy things and more character development for Colin. I want a Polin spinoff. I know they’re going to be in season 4 but if they end up doing to them what they did to Daphne and Kanthony I won’t watch anymore.

Here’s some other thoughts:

Benedict. Good grief. The first part his story was so nonexistent and then BAM it became nearly the main story in part 2. Stealing Polins thunder. Benedict seems so aimless in this season that I didn’t find anything about his storyline intriguing at all. It felt frivolous. I’m definitely thinking Benedict is season 4 now after episode 8 but it seems like Benny just wants to explore his sexuality and have fun more than anything else. I was so disappointed with the number of spicy scenes they put in. One would’ve sufficed since he wasn’t the season lead.

Francesca. They have ruined Francesca’s whole story now. Everything that made Francesca who she is is gone. Everything I loved about her book will probably not exist. I think changing the gender of Michael was not a good idea at all. I know that representation is important and I’m not opposed to people being gay. For me her whole story and basis for her character won’t exist and I’m not liking it.

Eloise. Girl. I hated you until about episode 7. I really was going into it thinking I needed mama bridgerton to get some sense into Eloise but I’m really glad she got there on her own. I was really pleased with where they took her in the last episode and that she’s going after something she wants and is actively trying to change her life instead of sticking around where she doesn’t feel she fits at the moment.

Kanthony. I thought part 1 was bad. Part 2 was worse. Some of their stuff was fine but it just felt overdone. Like they brought them back to play a key part and then they’re like just kidding now we’re going to India. Anthony was so cute in wanting their child to be born there and everything but I felt like then they could’ve explained their absence in part 1 differently. I am sure that Jonathan Bailey filming and preparing for multiple projects was a factor. Not sure if it was originally planned for them to play a bigger role but it definitely felt like the same dialogue between them and I hated it. I also didn’t like that they didn’t use Anthony more with Colin. It was mostly Kate and her newfound wisdom about marriage and zero from Anthony. He’s like raw eggs in the morning bro. Like come on. That did nothing for me.

I’m sure there will be more to come but for now these are my initial thoughts. As a thing separate from the book it’s fantastic as a fan of the book just wish there were certain things different.

[unabashegirl]

Enticing 30 (HS)

Summary: Harry is a young billionaire and CEO of his own company. He mostly keeps to himself, he is stern and very meticulous when it comes to business. He also likes to keep his personal life very private for the sake of his newly born son Oliver Styles. It isn't until he meets Y/N Y/L/N that everything changes. She becomes his new nanny after his previous one quits due to personal reasons. She is young, caring, and sweet. Will they ignore their feelings? Will Harry's girlfriend accept their love and leave them? Will she be able to cope with his busy agenda? What about Oliver's mother? Where is she? Who is she?

Words: 1.5K

masterlist

For the last time, Y/N looked at herself in the mirror. She ran her fingers through her hair and made sure that nothing was sticking out. She exhaled loudly and pulled down on her button-down shirt. Y/N just prayed that she didn’t spill anything down her white shirt.

“You look great. Let’s go, or you are going to be late” Patrick said as he walked into her bedroom.

“You look stunning,” Elizabeth told her as soon as she walked out into the living room. “Very professional. Here, I packed you both some coffee and some snacks”.

“Thanks. What are you going to be doing today?” Y/N asked her mother. It had been incredibly fun. She had been an incredible support to her. They had gone to the doctor, and everything had been checked out. Y/N was four weeks along. She was healthy, and everything looked just fine. Y/N was very nervous, but her mother made her feel secure.

Unfortunately, it was Elizabeth’s last day in the city. Violet was waiting and expected her to return promptly. Elizabeth also knew that it was a bad idea to leave Violet alone for so long. She just wanted to be around for Y/N's first day of work.

“I might go out and do a little shopping” Elizabeth was planning on buying a few items for her first grandbaby. She knew that with Y/N’s new job, she would probably need any financial help, but she wanted to gift the baby its first item of clothing.

“What are you getting?”

“Nothing” She smiled and tried to hide her excitement. Y/N and Patrick could tell that she was buying something for the baby. They looked at each other and smiled. “Anyway! It’s getting late! Go on!” Elizabeth urged them out the door. “Have a great day, sweetie”. She waved.

“Oh, God! I am nauseous” Y/N said to Patrick as they stood outside the big building. Patrick turned to face her.

“You are perfect for the job, and you are more than capable” Patrick threw his arms around Y/N and hugged her tightly. He knew how terrified she was and all the challenges that were coming her way.  He wanted to transmit to her the confidence and the support that she had given him.

“Thank you” Y/N felt like crying, and she wasn’t sure if it was because of the hormones or because she was very anxious. Suddenly, she wanted to run home and hide. “I think I’ll be alright,” she said just after exhaling heavily.

“Alright. I’ll meet you out here for lunch. Text me” Patrick slid her purse over her shoulder and handed her the bag that held some snacks that Elizabeth had packed for her. She kissed her forehead and allowed her to enter the building.

“Good morning. My name is Y/N Y/L/N. It’s my first day, and I was told to ask for William” Y/N said to the secretary that sat behind the desk. It reminded her of the day that she had gone to Harry’s office. She just hoped that things would be smoother than before.

“Ms. Y/L/N! We have been waiting for you! Let me give you access to the presidential floor.” The woman kindly said she was younger than Y/N. She could tell that she was still in college or straight out of it. “My name is Mia” She shared after they had gotten into the elevator and the doors had closed.

“It’s nice to meet you!” Y/N smiled, “Tell me. Should I be warned of something?” Mia laughed and shook her head immediately.

“Honestly? This is the nicest company that I have ever worked for. Mr. William is genuinely delightful and very accommodating. Don’t be fooled by his perpetual silence.” She had started working a few months before graduating from college. William had personally interviewed her and had asked for her class schedule. He made sure that her work didn’t interrupt her schooling. He also made sure that the job was going to continue being hers even after giving her a week off to celebrate her graduation with her family. For that, Mia was eternally grateful.  “It’s very exciting to have a woman in a predominantly male-dominated job It’s very inspiring.” Y/N smiled at Mia. She could tell that they would be friends. She was obviously younger than her, but she didn’t mind.

The elevator finally arrived at the top floor. The view was stunning. It had tall ceilings. The furniture was upholstered with different tones of gray fabric. A huge book self-decorated the corridor that led to a double-door office.

“There you are” William startled her as she looked at the paintings that decorated the foyer of the floor. He smiled at her as he walked down the corridor. “As always you look great” He smiled and kissed her cheek.

“How’ve you been?” He looked like he always did. He looked very sharp and clean. Out of all four men, he was the most peculiar about his things. William lived his life by following a schedule. He had issues when things were done unexpectedly or out of the blue.

“Good. Better now that you are here. Let’s go into my office. Would you like something to drink?” He offered to which Y/N declined. William led her to his office. “How are you feeling?”

Y/N exhaled loudly and allowed her body to relax as soon as the door was closed. She felt comfortable with William. She had shared a house with him for a month when they had gone to Italy. She considered him Harry’s brother.

“Very nervous and anxious. What if I am not enough?” William chuckled and pulled out a folder that held her contract and other files she needed to sign. “This would be my first job as a data analyst, William. I mean I’m grateful for the opportunity, but I am going to need guidance” She shared.

“That’s fine, Y/N. I don’t expect you to arrive as a senior analyst. I have assigned someone to help you for the first month” William was relieved that she had taken the job. “I am simply happy you accepted the offer. I needed to fill that place and what better option than hiring a close friend” He smiled. “Things have been rough lately” he admitted.

“Oh yeah?” He raised an eyebrow at her. William had set out the bait. He just required her to bite and ask. It was silent for a few minutes. William could tell that she was in deep thought and having an internal discussion with herself. “And how is he?” Y/N finally asked.

William didn’t know where he should start. So many things had happened. He was barely unrecognizable. Everyone had suffered after she had left him that day.

“Terrible. He doesn’t sleep and he doesn’t eat. He just works like a machine. His temper is shorter than usual. And let’s not talk about the drinking” William had gone to his apartment just to give him some advice. The men had planned a trip to leave upstate just so he could get some fresh air, but Harry refused profoundly. He had kicked him out of the house. “I have never seen like this, Y/N. I know that you don’t want to hear it, but couldn’t you just talk to him?”. William had never reached out to any of his friend's ex.  He found it inappropriate and distasteful. However, things were different this time. Harry was struggling severely, and William needed to help him. He was someone far from what he remembered.

“Please don’t — “She stopped herself just as the knot in her throat grew. Y/N quiet down before her voice cracked and she started crying. “How can you ask me that?” Y/N whispered; she looked down at the words typed on the contract. She could barely make out the words because of the tears. They made the writing blurry. “He doesn’t care about me”.

“Y/N. He is the one who called me and asked me to reassure him that your job was still available even though both of you had broken up” William admitted to her. “He was very insistent”. He added.

Y/N was quiet. She wiped the tears, trying to impede them from falling and wetting the documents.

“I can’t William. I will be forever grateful to him for helping me to get this opportunity, but I can’t. I can’t do this right now. I am not ready yet” She missed him terribly, but she knew that it entailed contacting him. She would need to tell him that she was pregnant with his baby, but she wasn’t ready. At least not yet. 

TAGLIST: @0oolookitsme, @happycupcakeenthusiast, @kennedywxlsh, @hsfics, @stylesbrock, @cuddlingwithharry, @sucker4angstt, @bluemoonedwings, @cherriesrae, @vornilla, @mellamolayla, @harryscurls21, @stilesissaved, @be-with-me-so-happily, @harryssattelitestomper, @jerseygirlinca, @tenaciousperfectionunknown, @lomlolivia, @stylesfever, @daphnesutton, @n0vaj3an

[yoursjaeyun]

missing you — lee heeseung.

pairing: heeseung x fem!reader

wc: 1740+

sypnosis. your boyfriend was always so busy with his schedules, world tours, anything an idol does. you want to spend time with him again, like when you two first met. where did those times go? what if he forgot about you? do you regret dating him? will this be the last time you’ll meet him?

warnings. one-shot, smut, (minors strictly dni), explicit language, oral (fem receiving), unprotected sex, (both receiving) a little angst (?), overuse of nicknames, a little crying. please tell me if i need to add more.

featuring. chaewon of le sserafim.

a/n. AAAAA i’m genuinely am excited for all of you guys to read my first ever fic !! (more like a drabble since its really short but anyway sjsj) this was actually really rushed because i finished more than half of it in a week 🥲 i will keep proof-reading it over and over again because there maybe some spelling mistakes 🙈 but other than that, i hope you all enjoy reading, and thank you for waiting so patiently 🥹 ugh i love you guys sm. and also as a beginner, thanks to the people who helped me a lot when i was struggling <33 ok i should stop talking, have fun reading <3333 (and i apologise if the smut part starts really quickly 😭)

read needing you for the continuation of this fic, thank you lovelies <3

your boyfriend was always so busy with his schedules, and obviously with his world tours coming up with flying overseas, fan meetings, etc. it was hard dating someone who was an idol.

it was only a matter of seconds when you finally got to meet him again, you missed everything, his touch, his kisses, his love. at the point, you wanted it to all be over. knowing nothing would change. nobody was there for you anymore, except for your one and only bestfriend.

“why do you look so down today? thinking about your boyfriend hm?” chaewon said breaking the silence, looking you up and down. “i don’t know chae, what if he’s flirting with other girls? did he forget about me? what if he cheated?” you spat out, sighing after.

“okay hold on, forgetting you? after the two of you lovebirds doing it for the first time ever on my bed? theres no way.” she scoffed.

“god chaewon, please for fuck’s sake, stop talking about that.” you rolled your eyes at her as she chuckled.

 “heard from jake that he’s free after their concert tomorrow, why don’t you meet him then?” you sat up properly after hearing what she said.

 “yeah, maybe i will.”

_______________________

 it was the next day, and of course you wanted to look good in front of him after months, you chose to wear his favourite perfume, following with his favourite outfit.

you were sitting in the waiting room waiting for him to come out, ‘5 minutes left’ you thought. you then heard cheering and muffling sounds outside the room, making you jump,  fixing your hair and posture quickly.

“y/n?” he entered the room. “heeseung..” running up to hug him, inhaling his scent already making you melt in his touch. “i missed you so, so much.” your eyes became teary as he stroked your hair along with his other hand on your waist.

“baby..” he lifted your face with his index finger to stare at your eyes. “was i gone for too long?” you nodded. “i’m so sorry my love.” he whispered as he wiped your tears with his thumb before kissing your temple.

you instantly got touchy with him, you missed him so much to the point where you couldn’t control yourself the second you saw him walk in. you didn’t want to do it straight away, you didn’t want him to think the relationship is all just about sex. of course there was more to it.

but you desperately needed him so bad.

“let me make it up to you.” your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he leaned closer, moving his hand to cup your cheek, he pulled your face in, your lips were inches away from eachother. “i’m here now, baby, its okay.” he whispered against your lips, then pressing them into yours.

 his words making you flutter, you slowly closed your eyes as the kiss went from being passionate, to just slightly aggressive. but he didn’t want to hurt you. stepping back a little giving him signs to go on the couch behind because of how your fresh blisters from your heels was killing you.

it wasn’t too long until he had already hovered over you, you put your hands on his shoulders to push him up with a little force as you then straddled his lap, his hands were roaming all over your body, tilting your head to the side to be able to give him more access inside your mouth, your arms around his neck pulling him in closer, he let out a whimper against your lips as you deepened the kiss.

he removed his hand from your waist to unbutton your shirt, undressing you. throwing your shirt to the side, he slowly moved his hand to your back, feeling his cold fingertips making you hum in his mouth. without hesitation, he unclasped your bra finally revealing your swollen boobs and your hard nipples. he then kissed down to your jaw, neck, then your chest, closing his mouth around one nipple, pushing his tongue down firmly as he licked your bud.

your head fell back in pleasure, sighing against his ear. “hee..” his other hand played with your other boob while he sneakily tries to slip off your skirt, you realised what he was doing so you helped him by lifting yourself up slightly for him to slip it off more easily. you sat back down feeling his bulge right through underneath your panties making you whimper, his hands were all over your body once again.

you gasped as he connected his lips onto yours again, his arms hugging your waist to pull you closer, your fingers ran through his hair vaguely pulling it, eliciting a groan from him. heeseung hovered you again making your back hit the couch. “fuck, your so pretty.. my pretty.” he whispered against your lips. he pulled over his shirt as well before leaning back to you, kissing you feverishly. you wrapped your legs around his waist, cupping his soft face as your teeth clashed together.

he went back down to your breasts, taking as much as he can. “heeseung..” you sighed. “what is it baby?” you tried catching your breath before saying anything. “i need words, sweetheart.” “i— i want you to fuck me so b- bad.. please.” you were getting impatient. “not yet.” he smirked as he started to kiss down your stomach, tugging on your waistband before pulling them off steadily. his fingers ran down your folds as you held back your moans.

“so fucking wet. only for me.” he gave soft kisses on your thighs before spreading them apart to be able to get a more clearer view of your pussy. you looked down seeing him smirk before he dived into your hole, you heaved biting back your lips, refusing to let out a moan so nobody can hear from outside the room. but luckily, heeseung locked the door earlier. “nuh-uh, i wanna hear it baby.” and so you obeyed, letting out the most angelic moans he had ever heard as he continued, his tongue going back and forth deep in and out of your hole eagerly.

you felt his nose prod against your folds everytime he buried his tongue deep inside. lapping at all the juices from every place. heeseung wanted to show how much he missed you, seeing you cry before made him feel worse about never seeing you again as he also felt the same.

he looked up as your eyes were closed shut from the extreme pleasure, his hands went to pat your hip in an assuring way. he decided to add a finger in to help you reach your high, along with his tongue synchronizing with it too. “hee, i’m s-so close, ah..” you squirmed, hearing your moans made him go faster, eating you out thoroughly.

you came all over his tongue, including his fingers. you looked down at him as he licked every corner of his mouth that still had your cum on it. you were now out of breath, but a part of you wanted to keep going.

“are you okay, baby?” heeseung went back up to you worriedly, he pushed away your sweaty strands, as you nodded at his question, not being able to say anything from how good your orgasm felt. “lets continue on later, okay?” you shook your head furiously, wanting to do everything right then and there. cupping his cheeks as you pulled him in for another kiss, tasting yourself from the leftover juices mixed with your cum in his mouth.

he pulled away from the kiss, standing up to take his shirt off and to unbuckle the belt to his pants. “heeseung, i need you so bad.” you muttered. “beg for it, princess.” he said climbing back on top of you again. “please.” you said staring at him with your hazy eyes. he stroked his cock a few times before lining it up in front of your entrance.

“good girl, my good girl.” he was already halfway in, but you were already a moaning mess. you dug your nails on his shoulders as he picked up the pace, slamming his hips into your swollen hole. your eyes rolled to the back of your head from the immense pleasure your boyfriend was giving you.

“your so fucking tight, baby.” ending his sentence with a low grunt. with all the strength you have left in your body, you pushed him up with both hands, straddling his lap again. you gasped feeling that it was more bigger when you sat down on him. “ride me.” he uttered against your ear. you complied to his words, rocking your hips back and forth on his cock.

now you doing all the work, heeseung gets to see how absolutely beautiful you look while riding him. “yeah, just like that, fuck.” he moaned as he threw his head back from how good you felt. your hands were on his knees, giving him a perfect view of your body. he took one hand from your waist to roll it on your boob, making you moan. “i missed you so fucking much.” he then pulled you in by your waist ending up in another kiss session, you didn’t have any energy left in yourself, but you wanted to do it for him trying your best to move while passively kissing him.

“heeseung, i’m close..” you whimpered against his lips. “i’m close too, fuck.” you both released at the same time as both your heads fell back together, the room filled with your moans. you plopped on his sweaty chest, not being able to move from how tired you are, he lifted your head up pushing away your sweaty strands of hair from your face, and wiping your tears, then pulling you in, gently kissing your forehead. “did you miss me that much?” he chuckled.  “so much.” you answered, leaving soft kisses on his neck.

“please don’t leave me again, hee.” he smiled at your words, realising how lucky he is to have you. “let’s get you cleaned up.” you nodded.

“come home with me, please..” you talked, but he didn’t want to answer because he can’t promise you. knowing this’ll be the last time you’ll both meet eachother. the next day he’ll have to leave you alone again for months, months that could turn into years.

and the day that your relationship will be over.

YOURSJAEYUN est. 2022. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

[nqmonarch]

Oblivious VS and X Yandere

Was writing the Blade fic part 2 and was like hmmm maybe I should have a conflict of reader being like nooo he can't like me he just wants me to kill him, and because I love him I'll do so (weird view bro but okay)

Obviously decided against that but then I was like, completely oblivious readers... that sounds like it could be funny.

Cause like people are always 'argh! I hate how this character is oblivious just get together with this other character!' but there's a charm in making a character so inhumanely oblivious that I feel like it'd be genuinely funny??? Especially with a yandere so just quick thoughts on that.

TW: Yandere content, attempted murder (implied), stalking, swearing

Reader's EQ is that of a rocks, can be read as Reader also just being really fucking delusional, or can be read as Reader having gone through shit and just choosing to ignore everything that happens in the world in order to cope. Up2u

For the sake of clarity:

Yan will be called Obbie (they/them pronouns)

And your friend is f/n just going to do she/her pronouns for this one because writing like three characters with they/them pronouns can get a bit confusing to read. When I master the skill I'll try it again.

EXTREME Oblivious Reader VS Yandere

A Yandere falling in love with your friend, f/n, isn't too surprising. the more surprising thing being how you still haven't fucking realized it. And you invited said Yandere to lunch with the two of you.

They originally planned to kill you for being so close to f/n but you kept making opportunities for them to get closer to f/n. Hey, they'll take what they can get because f/n avoids them like the plague.

Your friend continued to shoot you glares, as you chilled out, eating a sandwich, and reading webcomics. You let out a small curse at the protagonist's obliviousness, it was obvious that gifts were a declaration of love, at least in the quantity they were being delivered to the protagonist.

You'd never do misunderstand something so obvious. Sure, you've always had trouble understanding some people but people were confusing, hiding their emotions behind masks. You'd at least understand a straight forward gesture like a gift!

Obbie picked up some food on their fork and held it up to f/n's face, a sickeningly sweet smile on their face. She leaned away from the fork slowly, inch by inch. Then--

"They finally kissed!!!" You exclaimed, shoving your phone in your friend's face, "See? I told you." You puffed out your chest, too busy watching her reaction to see the fork slowly move away from her, having been intercepted.

"...Yeah, you told me..." F/n replied back unenthusiastically. You brushed it off as her being upset at being wrong. But you couldn't help shake off the suspicion that something else was wrong. Maybe she was sick?

Mentally, f/n noted never to tell you when the two of you will hang out again so that way you don't bring along any unwanted pests. You were just too welcoming sometimes.

Obbie's eye twitched as they moved the fork down to their plate. They couldn't tell if you were taunting them or just too absorbed in your silly little comic.

At f/n's less than stellar response you declared that you will take her home early. You are worried about her after all, she may be a sore loser but normally she'd lose with grace! You walked your friend home to take care of her, whether she was sick physically or mentally but when you arrive at their door all they say is:

"Don't bring that person to hang out again. Please?"

How could you be so foolish? To make f/n hang out with someone she didn't want to. That was a bit rude, plus you didn't even check with her when you invited Obbie.

Yet Obbie seemed to want to become friends with f/n! You wouldn't force your friend to do anything they didn't want to do. So instead you decided to give Obbie some extra friendship because you feel bad for them and hey, if your friend can't be their friend maybe you could be :)!

So you ended up greeting Obbie whenever you passed by them, texting them good morning and good night, and offering to hang out with them whenever you were free.

Obbie: ??? (Actually kind of scared)

In this way you manage to befriend the Yandere! Nice job you!

Although they keep asking for your friend's whereabouts among other information, you kept true to the age old saying!

"Snitches get stitches!" You smiled, opening and closing the scissors conveniently in your hand.

Obbie: ?! Clearly you were more of a threat than they thought.

This leads to them entering your room at night with the intent of murder!!! Unfortunately for them they bumped into a table, accidentally knocking a book off of it with a crash. You were a light sleeper and woke up with a jolt.

At the sight of Obbie, you relaxed. They would never do anything to hurt you so this meant one of two things. You looked them in their eyes.

"Are you injured, kicked out of your house, or sick and you need someone to shelter or take care of you for whatever reason? Don't worry, my friend... I am here," You spoke valiantly, with your hand on your heart.

"...No?" They were starting to wonder if you were okay mentally, maybe you were insane, or maybe... this was an evil beyond what they imagined!

To not only taunt them by remaining so close to their one true love but to go so far as push it in their face by calling them weak and hanging out with them! Diabolical!

Meanwhile you knew that only left one option, you looked at Obbie pityingly, "Then you must love me..." You would never miss a sign as obvious as this, you were nothing like those oblivious protagonists.

Obbie: What the actual fuck.

"...Are you okay?" They suddenly asked you, wondering if they had more problems on their hand then they originally thought. Maybe... you were a yandere too?

"Yes," You nodded solemnly, as understanding washed over you. Maybe... you could fall in love with Obbie, hadn't the signs always been there? They always tried to spend time with you (and your friend), "I'll be together with you."

They paused before promptly turning around, "Forget about this. I'm leaving."

Meanwhile you remained on your bed, clutching your chest, as 'my heart will go on' from Titanic played in your head.

EXTREME Oblivious Reader X AND VS Yandere

Somehow you finagled your way into a relationship with Obbie. F/n (the person Obbie loves) is beyond concerned for you, especially since you don't seem to have realized... well anything.

Meanwhile Obbie is trying to figure out the reasoning behind this diabolical scheme, you don't seem to like them so that must mean this is only a plot to keep them separated from their one true love forever! Obbie knew it would be too cruel to make f/n date them after they'd broken up with you. So they decided it would just be easier to kill you instead. But for some reason that idea didn't seem too agreeable anymore with them.

Then there was your ass trying to stay on top of everything while simultaneously keeping up with all the web novels and comics you read, a difficult task. On the bright side you had your new partner to rant about them to,

"Ugh, I can't believe Kim Dan is still with that bastard! If I had a man like Kim Dan I'd treat him right, spoil him, buy him gifts, pay off all his debt--" You began to rant, annoyed at the newest chapter of Jinx. You were truly in love with the brown haired mousy man, if he were real you'd keep him safe in the comfort of your arms.

"With what money?" Obbie looked at you mildly annoyed.

"...This is my fantasy okay." You let out a sigh in response.

Obbie didn't even know why they were listening to you, this was really annoying and boring.

Truly the most diabolical torture of all!

You were conniving but you wouldn't be able to beat them... If this was how you wanted to play the game, then fine. They would start small getting on your nerves... then once you were completely defeated they'd end you, taking f/n for themselves in the process.

Unfortunately, this process started after a terrible day. For whatever reason something went wrong at work and it was your job to clean it up. You hadn't even had time for lunch. When you finally returned home from work and logged on to catch up with all your stories, not only had your tabs been closed, but all of your bookmarks removed...

There was no way you could remember all those titles by name, there were over 100. What kind of a glitch was this?! Did you accidentally fuck up your computer somehow? You must've...

You stared at the screen crestfallen for a few moments until you heard footsteps behind you.

You turned behind you, a smile lifting up to your face as Obbie stared back at you a slight smirk on their face, "Something wrong?" They asked.

"Nope! Just a bit tired!" You replied cheerful you at least had someone by your side during such rough moments, "C'mon let's go make dinner!"

Obbie: ?! ...You were clearly going to be a more challenging opponent than they thought. Each moment that passed you only grew more menacing.

A series of unfortunate events continued to follow you from randomly getting food poisoning, to everyone suddenly avoiding you aside from f/n.

"Aren't you worried?" F/n asked, keeping a watchful eye out for anyone suspicious looking.

You glanced up at her from your webcomic, "About what? It's their fault if they're missing out on this!" You said confidently, pointing your thumb toward your chest.

Your friend smiled weakly in response, "But..."

"Really, it's all good," You replied, "So tell me how's that new relationship of yours going?"

You managed to remain in high spirits despite your life falling down around you. Somehow you got fired (they couldn't afford to keep you apparently) and were struggling to pick yourself up but you were sure you'd do so eventually.

However, Obbie was in shambles at one word of news:

Your friend was in a relationship. A romantic one.

You stumbled upon your partner on their knees and had immediately been worried, "What's wrong? Are you okay-- well of course you aren't, what hurts?" You placed your hands on their shoulders, steadying them as they looked up to you tearfully.

Sure, they could kill you, and your friend's partner, but they didn't want to murder anyone originally! Killing you had been their last resort and of course you foiled it! You demon! You weren't even suffering after all they'd done to ruin your life! They... wouldn't be able to beat you...

F/n had only ever given them disgusted glances in the past anyway, (not to say they didn't deserve them). Plus what Obbie had wanted was f/n in full, the only way they'd be able to get her to love them at this point would be to break her beyond belief. It would leave only a pretty doll in its place, with none of the lovable qualities left.

"I... give up. You win..." Obbie spoke defeatedly, tears rushing out of their eyes at the sudden words. They let out a loud and ugly sob before hugging you, pressing their face against your chest and getting snot and tears all over your clothes.

You pat their back gently, "There, there... It'll all be okay, I promise. And what do you mean I won?" Your voice was comforting aside from the mild confusion in the last sentence.

"I won't go after your friend anymore..." Maybe this wouldn't be so bad the Yandere would have a chance to reinvent themselves, and maybe... they could find new things they loved.

Wait... so the reason why she told you she didn't want to hang out with them...

You froze mid pat as everything came falling into place, "You were never in love with me. You were in love with my friend!" You exclaimed, excitedly at your new discovery, as if you were Sherlock Holmes.

Obbie: ??? There was no fucking way this was real.

EXTREME Oblivious Reader X Yandere

You'd managed to piece everything together Obbie was really in love with f/n. Then they'd gotten together with you out of pity, when you misunderstood their intentions of why they were in your room late at night. Why were they in your room late at night? The world may never know...

Meanwhile Obbie felt themself in more despair than before, having lost the love of their life and realizing they had been defeated by someone who didn't even know what was going on. To say they were upset was an understatement.

You let out a dramatic sigh, "You may not be able to be with my friend anymore but... I won't leave you trapped in this relationship with me. I'm sorry."

And now you were breaking up with them. Just great, wait why the hell did they feel upset at this?! "...It's really okay," They said suddenly, looking up at you with a shaky smile. They'd already lost enough in one day maybe that was why losing something so minor made it worse...

"No, I can't with good conscience let you suffer anymore. I'm sorry for the misunderstanding," You were a bit sad, to say you hadn't grown feelings for Obbie after three months of dating (the two of you had lasted a while somehow) would be a lie.

You got up, slight tears in your eyes, vowing not to comfort them in order to restrain any lingering feelings you had and left to your computer. There you continued slowly rebuilding your army of tabs and bookmarks.

Obbie: ..? why are you like this

Still Obbie couldn't help but feel guilty, sure you may've ruined their relationship but the fact that you were even able to ruin it?! You of all people? You genuinely had no idea of what was going on.

It was embarrassing. Both that you didn't know what was going on and that they somehow couldn't deal with someone who was genuinely clueless.

Not only that but in retaliation they'd ruined your entire life, and you remained none the wiser and ever positive. It... was kind of fucked up. How the hell could they not feel guilty?!

After breaking up with Obbie your days for some reason got better, the two of you were still housemates as you'd decided a month ago to share an apartment for six months. But once these upcoming five months were up they'd be completely free!

Plus, you'd managed to get a better job than the one you had before, it paid better AND was easier! What a win! You'd also finished recollecting all of your bookmarks of web novels and web comics, AND a lot of your friends had come back into contact with you! It was wonderful!

Not to mention your relationship with Obbie hadn't gotten awkward at all instead it was thriving! They'd make breakfast and lunch for you, then sit around in the kitchen when you made dinner and cleaned dishes. They listened to all of your rants, and watched over you while you slept.

The last part was actually a bit creepy but apparently you'd been having nightmares recently so they were just making sure you'd sleep well. Not only that but you found out the two of you took the same bus, wasn't that sick?!

Plus they were leaving you gifts all the time now, you would've thought they liked you if well it wasn't so clear they didn't. One misunderstanding was enough for you.

Obbie: ...WHY DID IT WORK WHEN I BROKE INTO YOUR ROOM TO KILL YOU BUT NOW YOU CAN'T TAKE A HINT HUH?

Obbie had to admit in the past they'd been... a bit short sighted maybe liking your friend originally wasn't the right move. F/n didn't pay them much attention nor really care about them so why couldn't they have just liked you sooner?

At least now they had a chance to make up for their mistakes. They could keep you safe by keeping an eye at you to and from work, at work, and at home. They could slowly garner your affection again from the talks and meals you two shared, and the gifts they gave you. They just had to make sure you didn't find out about the source of those unfortunate events. But even if you did... you would forgive them right?

And if you still don't like them by the end of your remaining five month lease. That's okay... they just won't let you leave. F/n had just been a practice run so they wouldn't make mistakes where it really counted.

"What are you doing?" Obbie came home to you stuffing some clothes in a suitcase, you jumped up at the sound of their voice.

You looked at them slightly confused, "You know our lease ends tomorrow right..?"

They approached you and you remained still, feeling your heart thrum rapidly. They didn't like you in that way, you knew that so why was your heart beating so fast.

Then they smiled down at you, "You can't leave me, okay?" They wrapped an arm around you, holding you snug before leaning down and kissing you, their mouth slightly ajar and warm always pushing for more. Teeth brushed against your bottom lip as you remained still.

Friends don't do this.

"Our... our lease still ends tomorrow," You sputtered out looking up at them.

They let out a small tsk, leaning close enough so that the tips of your noses touched, "I took care of it. Just stay. Don't leave me." They wouldn't even give you the chance to leave. Then they moved their lips toward yours again taking them again.

"...So does this mean you want to be with me?" You asked for confirmation.

They let out a heavy sigh, "Seriously, how oblivious are you?" Then they smiled, looking down at you adoration completely in their eyes, "Yes, it does."

In other news:

Work on my 4 minific drafts vs work on my 3 original stories vs create something completely new and random based off a random urge.

Guess who won?!

The last one. It's always the last one.

I hope you guys had fun reading this, honestly I felt like this was a really funny pair to write. Like the Yandere thinking the Reader was a genius who foiled their plans. Meanwhile Reader: wow this chick in this web comic is really hot.

I think the concept of an extremely oblivious Reader and Yandere can also be written in a nice and funny manner :) just Yandere moving into their class midway through the semester and reader being like 'you've always been here?' Yandere:...Yep. Or the classic murder = paint. I think there's a lot of untapped comedic potential in the pairing, of course with a nice little side of psychological.

I know people aren't the biggest fans of oblivious protagonists (because we love ourselves a smart MC who can support themselves and give everyone a good challenge and solve the world!!! rn I'm reading like the Greatest Estate Developer and the MC is so fucking smart it's nice!!! (no romance in it tho)).

But I thought that we need a good variety of protagonists always, and oblivious protagonists can be wonderful when done right so I've gotta keep working to master all of the characters so that way when I write my novel (eventually) the oblivious character is cool af!

[la-hannya]

Been keeping away from the drama cause I'm mostly tired, want to mostly focus on the original series, and I can't wait for this fanfic to completely die truly from the death drag is doing since it's long overdue; but after reading this— it needed to be addressed. Saw some copium going on about it already.

You can say stuff like "he is a yōkai", "he was always like that", "he is too good to lower himself to the standards and morals of humans", "retcons can happen" "you see? Rumiko is supervising now", "You weren't paying attention to the story" "the translation should say this instead of this" etc etc. Sure. of course, Jan. All that shit is bs as shown in the source material a thousand times already. Ok, moving on.

but AGAIN this Sesshomaru is just not the same one. Not the same to the original anime and not the same og manga either. This is like a completely different character than what we've been shown before. Nope. Ken Narita said it best and knew it.

This one is a completely regressed version and you can die on the hill after punching me in the face "that it's the same one, it's canon" but the original one wouldn't let crap like this slide. Oh yes, I know he's not a fucking prince charming; for sure! WE ALL KNOW. But Sesshomaru had already grown enough that he gave a fuk at least about those around him. Even if he's a person who barely expresses himself. So, much so, that no matter how you view the relationship of him and Rin— you know he was still coming to see and make sure he was okay even when she was in a village that might as well be safe 💯% thanks to his brother along his wife + inugang and others. He took care of Kohaku after Kikyo died! He regretted not leaving Rin in a village earlier when she lost her life again. Here, he's whole family are accessories. You got even Shippo weirdly being his servant all of a sudden. You can measure the regression with a ruler 📐

The vibes Rumiko Takahashi is giving me at this point are: A) she doesn't give a fuk because the og story is FINISHED as she has talked before (tbh this woman didn't give a fuck starting the last half of the series cause you can look up her interviews on Rumic World/Furinkan, and she was half ass winging it by the end cause that's how much she stopped vibin with her "Magnum Opus". Thanks Sunrise) and since she doesn't give a fuk, she doesn't want to even bother looking at her own source material. This is why I've gone mostly "Death of the author" with her at this point.

B) The other thing could be as well that she's fuking this thing on purpose. "But, Gene she's supervi—" no shut up. And stop snorting the copium. You'd think if this was canon she'd be truly wanting to sell the story and this ship, but it's like she wants to make sure he along everything else is the worst possible every chapter. If she truly is supervising, cause honestly she still feels like she quickly looks over sht, goes "whatever, I'm done with this" and goes back to doing Inuyasha revamp *cough* I mean MAO. Though, it's quite understandable why she was so reluctant to allow this in the first place.

And let me tell you, the "Character becomes terrible parental unit when the next generation is born, so their past growth is thrown out the window" trope. It's OVERUSED GARBAGE that fuks up good stories 🗑️🚮 You got characters that are really similar to Sessh that are doing better in other animes for Pete's sake. LIKE "THE VILLAIN" OF YASHAHIME: KIRINMARU 🦄🤡

It's pitiful really. I dunno how anyone can still enjoy this because "uWu it gives me crumbs". Nah, have some standards. Other people can do better stories. Other people can write this better while still respecting the original story. And I'm not saying you can't enjoy some things from it, because you can (like Moroha, Kirin, the Mirsan kids, whatever). But this could've been better done. Peace.

[cosette141]

While You Weren't Sleeping | OUAT fanfic oneshot

Author: cosette141

Fandom: Once Upon a Time

Pairing: Captain Swan

Words: 1.2k

Summary: Emma learns that Hook was a little less unconscious after their fight in the Enchanted Forest than he’d led her to believe. (tag to s3 ep The Jolly Roger)

AO3

(story under the cut!)

a/n: I personally still think that the s2 fight between Emma and Hook could have gone either way (one theory being that Emma actually won because Hook was being cocky, the other (more popular one) being Hook threw the fight because he didn’t want to hurt Emma).

I’m all for girl power so I love the idea of Emma having actually gotten the upper hand cause he was flirting too much lol and underestimated that Emma is a scrappy badass.

But this little story came along with the other theory, because I caught something Hook said in season 3. He tells Emma “Magic is a part of you, Swan. Don’t forget; I was there when Cora tried to steal your heart. I saw the power inside of you.” So, either this is a writing mistake, since he was supposed to be unconscious… or it was Hook’s flub, outing himself.

For the sake of this story, we’re going with the idea that Hook threw the fight, but I love both theories. :)

She found him where she knew she would; by the docks. And ever since seeing him again, though it’s been weeks since he woke her up in New York, she still felt a… something stir inside her at the sight of him. Something she’d felt at the town line, that might have prompted her to do something if they had been the only two people there. 

But that was a long time ago.

And everything after Walsh…

She knew she had… feelings… for Hook—Killian. 

However she didn’t yet know what to do about them. 

“Hey,” said Emma, trying to ignore that feeling when he looked her way. “I need you to watch Henry again.”

Hook grinned, but it was still a softer one than he used to have. 

Like this smile was one just for her. 

“If you wanted to get close to me, no need to use the lad as an excuse,” said Hook, smirking a little.

Emma very nearly rolled her eyes. “I’m not.” At least not entirely. “Regina is giving me a magic lesson,” she explained. “We think that the both of us combined should be strong enough to overpower Zelena.”

His features shifted into one of a little relief. “That’s about the best plan we’ve got yet.” he said with a grin.

“Yeah,” said Emma, biting her lip, feeling a little less confident than he seemed to feel about her. She had no idea how to handle her magic and she wasn’t sure one lesson was going to change that. 

“Don’t worry, Swan.” he said, the cunning slipping out of his expression, the look in his eyes shifting to something much more genuine. “Remember,” he said gently, “Magic is a part of you, Swan. Don’t forget I was there when Cora tried to steal your heart.” A change in his eyes, something like pride, like confidence , in her . “I saw the power inside of you.”

Emma smiled, a little heat touching her cheeks at the faith he had in her, nodding at his reassurance. Her magic was powerful, and that reminder did give her a little newfound faith in herself . 

But her expression halted, something shifting in her eyes, and then her eyes snapped back to his. 

Suspiciously. 

“How do you know that?” she asked, eyes locked onto his. “Cora told you?”

“She didn’t have to,” he said, his own brows kneading with genuine puzzlement. “I was there.” 

No…

“As I recall,” she said slowly, brows narrowing, “you were unconscious .” 

“I—“ It was only then he seemed to understand the direction her interrogation was heading, and he froze. Swallowing, he scratched behind his ear, saying, “—aye, yes, I was.”

He didn’t .

“Then how did you know I used magic to stop Cora?” she demanded, brow hitching up sharply. 

Hook swallowed again, eyes shifting to the ground before meeting hers. 

Lie.

Emma felt something heat up her chest. 

He did not .

“I—er, it only makes sense that’s how you—“ 

“ Hook .”

His eyes found hers. 

And then…

He grinned .

Like a child caught doing something they shouldn’t have. 

Emma’s jaw dropped. 

“I knocked you out!” she hissed.

“You knocked me down ,” he corrected, that amused grin lifting his lips into a crooked smile, and Emma suddenly wanted to smack it off. 

“Are you saying you let me win? ” growled Emma, voice hitching up an octave. 

“I’m saying,” he said, “I didn’t duck when you swung the compass at my head.”

Emma gaped at him. 

But it was there in his eyes. 

His stupid, cocky eyes. 

“I knocked you out,” whispered Emma. “You were being a cocky bastard, and I knocked you out .”

Hook winced a little. “I’ll admit to being the cocky bastard, but you know as well as I do that you didn’t.”

Emma stared him down, and he let her, and damnit he wasn’t lying. 

“But—“ began Emma.

“Swan,” he said, a little exasperatedly, “unless you’ve forgotten, I am a few centuries old. I’ve been a swordsman for hundreds of years, and you’d been one for all of five minutes.” At her narrowed eyes, he said, “Though I’ll admit, I did have quite the headache afterward.” 

Emma felt anger and a thread of humiliation course through her. 

He let her win?

He let her win?

She’d prided herself on that victory.

But something else snuck into her mind, a question that suddenly wouldn’t let her go.

She raised her eyes to Hook. “Why?”

The amusement slipped from his face. “What do you mean why?”

Emma’s anger faded. “I mean,” she said quietly, “why’d you let me win? It’s not like we were on the same side.”

His brows rose. “Emma,” he said, and it always shot a little chill down her spine when he chose to use her first name. “ Winning that fight would have meant either severely injuring or killing you.”

“So?”

He blinked. “What?”

“So?” repeated Emma. “At that point you were ‘done with me.’” She watched Hook wince at the words, and she suddenly realized he must have regretted saying them to her. “You risked your mission and Cora’s wrath for me? Why?”   

Hook hesitated. 

And Emma would never get over how strange, how rare it was to see him unsure. 

But he smiled, something soft, and he shifted her hair with his hook, like he’d done on the beanstalk. “Because I was never done with you, love.” Taking a breath, he said, “I still had the last Bean. I knew Cora and I could use it to get here, and you deserved to return to your son. I… simply couldn’t bring myself to prevent you.” He scratched behind his ear again. “And, love, I…” He swallowed. “I do apologize for the way I spoke to you that day.”

There was a touch of anguish in his eyes, and Emma found herself smiling. “You let me clock you in the face with a compass,” she said. “I think we’re even.”

He smiled too.

His eyes on her, he said, “Rest assured, love, that you are the strongest person I know.”

Emma rolled her eyes. 

His expression didn’t change. “I’m not placating you, Emma,” he said with a sort of gentle firmness. “I may have given you that fight that day, but Cora didn’t.” Emma felt herself pause, realizing that. “No one,” Hook went on, “in any of the realms had been able to defeat her, myself, Regina and the bloody Crocodile included.” He smiled. “So, trust me when I say that I’ve still yet to see you fail, and I know you will defeat Zelena.”

Emma felt herself smile. “Thanks, Killian.”  she said softly. 

Hook smiled too, something even warmer. Because Henry was nowhere in earshot, and she used his name.

Because she was also realizing that he had been the first person, other than perhaps Henry, to believe in her.

And before she could think twice about it, throwing a look over her shoulder to make sure Henry wasn’t looking their way, Emma stepped toward him, kissing him lightly on the cheek.

He stared at her in utter shock.

Breezing past it, trying to keep the heat from rising to her cheeks, Emma said, “So you’ll watch Henry?”

He looked like he was torn from a daze. Shaking himself from it, he said, “Ah—aye, of course.” 

“Thanks,” she whispered. She turned to get Henry, when Hook said, “Emma.”

She turned. 

“I’d be open to a rematch,” he said, that grin back at his lips.

Emma smiled. “I would, too.”    

Hook grinned. 

She left Henry with Hook, then walked away, heading toward her magic lesson with Regina. 

And found that she might be open to more than just a rematch.

tag list: @kmomof4 @justanother-unluckysoul @klynn-stormz @stahlop @ilovemesomekillianjones @hookmecaptain @sotangledupinit @tiganasummertree @eddisfargo @anmylica @pirateprincessofpizza @cs-rylie @elfiola

[i-mybrunettelady]

commander week day 3 - pact

welcome to the pact, commander. set during lw4, after during war eternal. commander: alysannyra ainsaph.

It still feels weird to say they’re walking all over Kralkatorrik’s back. A part of her can’t comprehend the sheer size of the dragon, but she doesn’t bother. His size is irrelevant when faced with the fact that he killed her daughter; he might be the size of the universe itself, she will take him down for that alone. 

Of course, Aurene didn’t really die, but the image carved itself in Nyra’s mind so strongly she still feels the residue blood on her tongue. No mother should watch her child die. Luckily for hers, Nyra herself died far away and by the time the news might’ve reached Antonia Ainsaph, she was whole again. 

She doesn’t let herself think of it more than it is enough to fuel her anger. She uses it to build a solid base on her enemy’s back, pierce holes in his skin, and probably terrorize the men under her command. It’s only the last thing she feels bad about. 

There are times to be gentle and there are times to be rough. Sure, Nyra can be gentle, but not to herself, not now, and certainly not before this island is an island, and not a living being. 

Trahearne has long since gone asleep. Nyra’s blood won’t rest, so she sits at the Pact Command, looks at the sea and tries to release the pressure under her skin. The lid is too tight. If she releases it, she won’t be the Commander this campaign needs. 

And by fucking Gods is she the Commander this campaign needs, even if she isn’t the Pact Commander anymore. 

Footsteps interrupt her doom and gloom. She turns her head towards the source; four figures step into her view. She turns to face them. 

“Can I help you, Logan? General Soulkeeper?” Nyra asks, letting her hands drop to her sides. 

“Why aren’t you asleep, Ainsaph?” Almorra grumbles. 

“I couldn’t. Maybe someone ends up needing me. Like you are now, apparently.” 

“With all due respect, General, the Commander could also aim the same question at you,” Renira adds from the corner. Nyra blinks. She didn’t see her disappear in the shadows of a nearby tent. “The only one of us with any plausible deniability as to why they’re aware is Commander Elandrin.” 

“Awake, asleep, who gives a fuck,” Elandrin says. “I was dragged from very fucking necessary research. I will nod along to the proposal you’re about to give Alysannyra and go back to my shit. You do need results on Elder Dragon research, right?” 

“On point as always, Elandrin,” Nyra says lowly. “What’s the proposal? A new plan of attack? Strategy we might’ve missed? Scouting report?” 

“You rejoining the Pact,” Logan finally speaks up and clears his throat. “I am the Marshall now, and your spot has been vacant for a lot of years, Nyra. Too many to make sense. We tried pushing the choice off but you are the best choice, you know?” 

Nyra smiles. “You need to raise morale. You need the men to know it’s not just Aurene’s Champion that fights beside them, but the Commander of the Pact as well.”

“Damn right, Ainsaph!” Almorra says. “And I’m here to grin as you say yes because you turned me down how many years ago.”

“Fair enough,” Nyra laughs and her shoulders slump. “For fuck’s sake. And depending on how fast I say yes, we’ll all go to bed earlier?” 

Renira shoots her a look. Nyra shoots a look back. As much as she meant that statement to be a dry joke, there’s truth to it and Renira knows. She knows everything. But she’s smart enough to not say shit about it. 

“So you’re saying yes?” Elandrin prompts, arms folded over his chest. “Pact Commander Ainsaph officially reinstated. I now have to work. We’re racing against time here and you’re here humoring her of all people.” He turns his back on them and starts walking, as much a torch as the ones stationed on the beach. “We all know she’d never turn any fucking opportunity for a triumph down.” 

Nyra frowns. “I’m glad to be so well received,” she says under her breath. “But I am accepting the offer. The Pact is my legacy, after all.” 

“Glad to have you back, Ainsaph,” Almorra says as she strides over and grips Nyra’s shoulder. Logan reaches out a hand for Nyra to shake with a small, relieved smile. Almorra then leans in to whisper in Nyra’s ear as she squeezes Logan’s hand, “Raze that fucking beast to the ground, Commander, like you did so many of its siblings.”

It’s not as if Nyra would like to do anything else. 

[essayofthoughts]

Okay okay, I’ve got two for ya, one lighthearted and fun and the other angsty so dealers choice:

1)Minor Illusion with Percy and Delilah (or Orthax)

2)Polymorph with Keyleth and Percy

👍✨ hope this helped ❤️

See, you say this but 1. I am contrary, and 2. I am an angst gremlin! So we'll be taking number #2 for a punch in the gut, thank you Skele!

Percy avoids all of them after they chase Orthax out. Some of that may just be because he's sulking over the List - Keyleth wouldn't be surprised; her best friend is a lot more emotional than he likes to pretend - but honestly, she thinks it's much more likely that now they know for certain why he's a tiefling, he's just not... dealing well.

Honestly, she can't imagine she'd deal well, realising she'd changed something so fundamental about herself without realising, let alone that it came along with a demon deal, but also she thinks Percy is being a bit stupid about it, maybe? They're his friends and they love him and every burden is easier to bear when it's shared: he shouldn't have to be alone.

It takes her some time to find him. He's not in his room or the workshop he's claimed, or visiting his sister, or down in the acid chambers by the ziggurat. She ends up going Minxie just to try to sniff him out, and then has to turn back into herself twice when she scares some poor maids cleaning out the old parlours and in the end she gives up and Polymorphs herself into a housecat because then maybe she won't scare people so much.

She's gotten so used to being able to use Minxie, she really should be more mindful.

Still, once she catches his scent it's not too tricky to find him. He's curled up in a small tower room, tucked into a window seat and leaning his head back against bare stone almost the same colour he is.

It doesn't escape her notice that he jumps when she turns back to herself.

"Keyleth," he says and...

Oh. Does he sound shaken?

"Are you okay?" she says. "You've been avoiding us-"

"I rather thought I'd scared you," he says, swallowing. "Given-"

He had, a bit. It was... it was awful seeing her friend slowly become a monster and how willing he was to be cruel and horrible but... Orthax is gone now. And she doesn't think Percy would be hiding from them if it wasn't partially for their sakes. Percy can be arrogant, yes, and entitled, but he also respects the hell out of them? And she remembers what he'd said, when they'd started wondering if he really was in control of himself. She doesn't think he wants to hurt them, not really.

"A little," she admits, settling on the other end of the windowseat, leaning her staff against the wall. "But- also worried about you?"

He blinks at that - he always blinks at that, like they shouldn't care about him and it always confuses her, how Percy can be the most confident, arrogant person in a room and then... be like that. It's like he doesn't think he's worth anything while still demanding everything.

"Are you okay?" she asks again, because he still seems a little off.

He lets out a long breath - she thinks it wobbles a bit and narrows her eyes.

"I'll be fine," he says.

"Percy~" she says, half a whine, because he should know better by now. She doesn't want him to be fine at some point. She wants to know if she can help him now.

Percy doesn't say anything but that's normal. Keyleth's spent enough time in silence with Percy to know when he's silently thinking and planning something to say as opposed to just thinking to himself. At least there's no smoke now, wisping up from his collar - just his usual sooty fingertips and charcoal-touched ears.

"It's unsettling," he says quietly, staring out the window. "Seeing you-" He waves a hand, claws flashing pearlescent in the light from the window. "Changing forms isn't-"

Oh. Oh. Of course.

"I mean-" she says. "I won't- I won't do that to you, if you don't want me to."

Percy's bark of laughter is sudden but he is smiling, so she'll take that as a good sign. "Keyleth dear," he says fondly, "You did Hold Person me when Scanlan tossed the List in the acid."

"You would have dived in!" she says. "We didn't want you to get-"

Oh.

"You don't like being restrained," she says. Percy doesn't say anything. "You could have told me," she grouses.

Though. She supposes he didn't get a chance to before: it's not like it'd ever come up. They don't usually get into fights with each other.

"I'm sorry," she offers. He twitches, but doesn't look at her, still staring out the window. It is a nice view - Whitestone's all edged in frost, snow slowly drifting down. If the wind doesn't change they'll be covered by Winter's Crest. "Percy?"

"I don't remember being changed," he admits. "I don't think I want to."

[hannahssimblr]

Chapter Nine

I huddle behind the till with Petra on the last Friday before Christmas, watching as she tallies up the till for the final time before the new year. 

“Okay, so we sold five of these, three of those, and the last eight of those ones… and I’ll have to check the books again but I think I sent twelve to the post office today.” I glance over her shoulder at the long receipt that’s been spit out of the till to confirm. “So that’s almost all of them sold?”

She glances over to the card rack on the wall nearby. “Everything except for, I think, four?”

“Wow.” I say. “I can’t believe people actually wanted them.”

“Oh for goodness sake!” She grins. “Of course they did, you did a beautiful job on those cards. You should be very proud.”

I blush. “I actually am.”

Petra empties the last of the till coins into a plastic bag and locks it into the safe for the bank. “Well you can enjoy the money, my dear, and enjoy your christmas. Have you planned to do anything nice?”

“The usual. I’ll just go to my granny’s house and we’ll have dinner with my aunts and uncles and cousins. We just found out that my uncle’s wife is pregnant again, so that’s something to chat about at the dinner table.”

“Sounds lovely.” She muses, and I suppress a grimace as I zip up my coat. “Yeah, well, have a safe flight home to Spain. I hope you have better weather than we do here.”

“Me too.” She says. “Happy New Year, since I won’t see you before then.” I smile and let myself out onto the dark of the early evening street as the jaunty little bell jingles in the door behind me. 

Luke, who owns the coffee shop across the street, is closing his shutters too, and gives me a quick wave and a “merry Christmas, Evie.” as he covers up the window art I did for him a few weeks ago. He liked what I’d done for Mezzotint so much that he asked me to do one for him too. I went out on a limb and asked him for one hundred euros for it, and he paid it without batting an eyelid. All of that money has gone towards Christmas presents, as for the first time in years I’ve been able to afford them. I hop on the Luas and ride it towards the centre of town. It’s jammed with commuters in big coats, the windows fogged up and dripping with condensation. The lights outside blur together through the fog. 

I get off at Jervis Street onto pavement that’s still wet with the rain from earlier and wander up towards Henry street, where I buy a hot chocolate from the crepe and coffee kiosk that’s still open, just because I want one, and then head towards Arnotts where I walk around looking at fancy things that I cannot afford for half an hour, just for the sake of doing it. There are discounted Christmas decorations in one section, and I’m drawn to a pair of pink feathered ones with silver beads laced along the ribbons. On sale, they are ten euros each but I buy both of them anyway, because Claire would love them. 

On the way out I go to the perfume section and spray Tom Ford on myself. The shop assistant smiles at me like she thinks I might want to buy it, but I avoid eye contact. I will never own perfume like this. I bring my wrists to my nose and inhale the complicated aroma as I head back onto the maniacal December crowds, imagining for a moment how satisfying it must feel to smell like two hundred euro perfume every day, to know that you can throw money at something frivolous, just because you like the smell of it. 

When I arrive home, Claire is in her pyjamas and eating a bowl of plain pasta on the couch. She grins at me as I come in and asks me if I want to binge some Christmas films. It feels like a perfect way to spend our last night of the year together before we go back to Tullamore tomorrow. I go upstairs and put on something comfortable. I don’t really have pyjamas in the way that Claire does. Hers are always matching, satin with lace trims, flannel with pockets and buttons down the front, but I don’t have anything like that. Perhaps it says something about my personality. I grab an ancient vest and a pair of jersey shorts and head down to the couch, stashing the wrapped feathered baubles into my half-packed suitcase to give to her tomorrow. 

First we watch Miracle on 34th street, because we watch that every year, and then inevitably we put on Love Actually, just to scream about how much we hate every single character except for Sam, and we drink more hot chocolate and eat sweets from a tub until I feel sick. As the credits roll I glance over to her to see a glazed expression on the face. She’s gazing through the window at nothing. Blackness, the sky clouded over leaving no space for the stars to peek through them.

“Are you alright?”

“Mm. Yes.”

I shift in my seat. “I’ve been meaning to ask how things have been with Shane, you know, like, with his college work and the football and all that.”

“Oh, it’s fine. The usual. I don’t think we’ve made any progress, to be honest.”

“And his Christmas exams?”

“I don’t have a clue. He barely studied for them so he’s probably failed them, for all I know.”

“Oh.”

She looks at me then, brows furrowed and voice defensive. “I love him, you know. I still love him. I won’t like, break up with him or anything.”

“I didn’t think you would.”

“Things will get better. All couples go through this kind of thing. It’s what happens when you’ve been together for three years, things just feel a bit less perfect than they used to, and you have to make compromises. Really though, I love him. I’d do anything for him.”

I wonder if it’s only my projection that she sounds a bit like she’s trying to convince herself of those things, not me. “I’m sure the exams went fine.” I say, even though I’m not sure. On every run and every gym session I’ve been to with Shane in the last few months he hasn’t mentioned college once. His twenty-five-grams-of-protein yoghurts and his various friends who injured themselves in various ways from using the machines wrong (like me), he’s mentioned plenty of times, but unless I knew for a fact that he was in college, I’d assume he didn’t go. 

Claire is frustrated. “I wish he’d just get it together. That’s all. I’m sick of feeling like I’m nagging him, but it really just feels like common sense… oh!” her phone springs to life on the table in front of us, vibrating loudly against the wood. “I bet this is him now, speak of the devil.” She flips it over in her hand and her brows knit together with confusion. “Oh, it isn’t.”

“Who is it?”

“Um. It’s Jude.” She brings it slowly to her ear, as though it might bite her. “…hello?”

It’s quiet enough in the room to hear his side of the conversation. “Hey. Hey Claire. I’m so sorry to call you. Are you with Shane at the moment?”

Her face screws up. “No. I amn’t, I’m at home with Evie.”

“Ah, right. Do you know if he’s around? I tried to call him a few times and there was no answer.”

“He’s in Tullamore. He’s gone home for Christmas already, he had training at the pitch at seven, sorry.” She glances at the clock in the kitchen. “It’s also almost midnight. I imagine he’s asleep by now.”

“Right, okay. That’s fine… uh. Sorry to call you, I better-”

“Is everything alright?” 

“Yeah, yeah, it’s nothing, I’m just home in Dublin for the next week. I misplaced my house keys, I was hoping to crash at his.” A pause. “And also like, maybe because he has a car I was thinking he might be able to drive me to A&E.”

“What?” I exclaim. Claire’s eyes are wide. She doesn’t know what to do. I take the phone. “Jude.” I say. “It’s Evie.”

“Hi Evie, how’s it going?”

“What happened?”

“No, no, no, nothing big, it’s not a big deal, I just might need a couple of stitches.”

“Stitches where?”

“My-” He breaks away and sucks air through his teeth, muttering “Jesus, fuck” under his breath. “- my eyebrow. It’s fine. It can wait, I can just get a taxi back to Clontarf and get my parents to let me in. Hopefully they’re still awake.” He sounds doubtful. “Sorry to disturb you, seriously. I’ll work it out.”

“For God’s sake.” Claire grabs the phone again. “Come here. We can’t drive you to the hospital but we can clean you up. I at least have a first aid kit. Where are you?”

“The docks.”

“You’re only a few minutes away. Can you walk to us?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright.” She gives him our address and they hang up, then she sits there in disbelief, shaking her head. “Bloody men.” She says. “I’m exhausted.” She gets up and heads towards the stairs. 

“Where are you going?” I ask her. 

“To put on a bra.”

Beginning // Prev // Next

[paulinawoodpecker]

Tad the lost explorer and the spear of blood and tears sneak peak:

Zulo betraying and hurting pickles feelings and ending their friendship

Pickles: I’m not going to let you share my power with you!

Zulo: oh yeah? What about your son Lukas?

Pickles: Lukas is not my son anymore.

Zulo: wait what?

Zulo: anyways he’s still your son…

Zulo: and who else should you share? Oh yeah. Your wife Margie.

Zulo: oh wait. I forgot! I killed her!

Pickles: but why? Why did you have to kill her?

Zulo: so you can be me! Back in the old days, when you were a teenager, you always cared about me.

Pickles: that’s because I did it for you and your sisters sake!

Zulo: oh cucumber man… the reason why I killed her is because I’m the only one who doesn’t have a mother! She died in childbirth!

Zulo: when you and Margie became parents and Lukas got into the family and you two wed each other, I got jealous because my mom died, and I have no one else to take care of me and my sister!

Zulo: so then you just saw Liza’s death. And I did the exact same thing on what I did to Margie.

Pickles: 🥺😰

Zulo: and yes, her soul is gone…

Zulo: *his eye balls reflect on fire* so maybe we can go back to the old times when you started to protect me. Well guess what. I’m a grown man now. Maybe you deserve to be a single parent forever…

Zulo: and later on, you forgot all about me and then became a CIA agent, so you met this woman named Ramirez so you hired her to arrest tad. Great job. But then she canceled it, that’s terrible. then you recovered and did your second chance… so you became friends with the mean queen bees except the leader. So you hurt Victoria and Lukas and Reena’s feelings for all of that, then you got arrested for killing four men, and then you came back and betrayed him. so you were inside a crystal and then you ended up in Atlantis! So you tried to marry joya yourself but she got married by max instead so she just hates you. And you had this amazing concert and Battle with the trash team and then you ended up in a portal where all the villains all lie in, vegetable!

Pickles: *sheds tears*

Zulo: what’s the matter vegetable? Did I started to call you that?

Zulo: well I’m about to call you that for now on…

Pickles: you…you know everything…who told you that?

Zulo: it was miss mean queen bee all along, now that I have her power. I can do whatever I want.

Zulo: let’s face it pickle. You’re nothing. You don’t deserve to be a CIA agent anymore now that’s you’re fired and you lost your job, your family, your life, everything!

Pickle: and you know who you are?

Pickles: you’re such a brat!

Zulo: oh am i?

Pickles: also the only one who doesn’t trust his friends even me!

Zulo: WELL MAYBE IM BETTER OFF WITHOUT FRIENDS LIKE YOU!!! *leaves*

Pickles: 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Zulo: Let’s face it Mr p. We’ll never be friends again…you and I are done! *leaves*

Pickles: *sobs hard as it breaks his heart*

Pickles: 😭😭😭😭

Pickles: *fell down to his knees and continued crying*

Ramirez: …

[lumiereswig]

Next movie recommendation: "The Wizard of Oz."

The castle is dead and dark in the middle of the night, even Lumiere and Plumette long gone to bed, but Cogsworth cannot sleep.

He patters downstairs, his brown slippers dragging down low at the heel, the dark windows staring at him as he slips from hall to hall to hall. Each long mirror feels like an eye: he seems himself resting in the center, a small and moving pupil, walking into the gaze and out of it. His brown robe is knotted tight around him. He descends into the palace, each step darker than the last, losing the moon as he goes deeper inside.

The fight with Lumiere is still plaguing on his mind. He hasn’t felt right, since the curse. He still feels himself ticking away, and he’s infuriated by the idea that now that everything is normal again, he should just let time move on, not say, wait, hold on, there were ten years of grief and sadness there. Lumiere is dancing and laughing and it drives him mad, to see him human again, to remember all those years waiting stuck in metal and brass, to think that all the color has come rushing back when he just feels old, and old, and old. This palace doesn’t belong to him anymore. Lumiere doesn’t belong to him anymore. The curse is broken, and everything is new—too new for an old man, who always wanted everything to stay the same; who always wanted to keep to a certain beat, never too strange, never too colorful.

There is a small den, in the lower South wing, that no one really frequents much, beyond Lumiere in one of his recumbent moods. (Wild man, maniac, too colorful to be endured, thinks Cogsworth, soaked in the dark of the palace.) There’s a small white screen of canvas, here, and an odd contraption Lumiere calls a cinématographe. There’s a stack of old tapes, little ratty boxes, stacked high next to the machine. Cogsworth’s eyes take in titles: Rebecca, The Lady Vanishes, The 39 Steps.

He isn’t ready for those kind of movies tonight. He picks up an old favorite, The Wizard of Oz, and puts it in.

Nobody knows he watches this.

But he knows every beat, every refrain. Watching Dorothy run down the road, brown and grey and windblown, he thinks I know that feeling. That feeling of having to run away and toward every single problem that comes his way. You try to escape and you run into your problems anew, just in different forms: a witch is a witch, a fool a fool. The three farmhands go tumbling and Cogsworth shakes his head.

It isn’t fair an old dusty movie, brown and grey for its first ten minutes, should have so much meaning in it. For god’s sake, he thinks, as Dorothy touches down in Wonderland and has Munchkins coming out of every corner, you can practically see the glitter being dusted down on those children before they’re shoved out in front of camera. It’s all just Hollywood glitz and glitter. A little vaudeville shenanigans and some aging jokesters; this thing is a relic.

Cogsworth, tucked tight in his brown bathrobe, holding the popcorn he heated up in the dusty brown corner microwave, feels a bit like a relic.

But to laugh at how old the movie is to forget how enchanting Oz remains, despite of it all—no, because of it all. It is a joy to watch the Scarecrow’s dancing, old-school soft-shoe nonsense, and the gags that wore out before Lincoln was born, and to melt before Dorothy as she trembles and stumbles and remains oh, so brave—well, to laugh at the old would be to laugh at the joy, and Cogsworth will not have that. He will not give up on something he loves.

So he eats his popcorn, and mumbles along with the songs (“…if I only had a heart…”), and tells himself he isn’t tearing up when Dorothy breaks down, I’m frightened, Auntie Em, I’m frightened, and Auntie Em doesn’t hear her through the glass. An old man has no right to still feel so childish, so sad, so frightened. An old movie sits with him, in the dark, and glows ruby red and cornfield yellow and a green more green than emeralds.  

I want to go home.

This is a movie all about home, though we spend precious little time in the version Dorothy speaks of. She speaks of it, often, and her voice is never far from the cry I want to go back home—but vivid under that sincere wish to run back to dust, and brown, and the old broken things that were loved so much, is a clear and obvious counterpoint: Dorothy is already home. She’s home the second she finds her friends again, never mind their enchanted forms, never mind they don’t look quite the same or remember her exactly. Dorothy makes a home in Oz without even realizing it, because home doesn’t have a shred to do with the old brown chicken coop or the broken iron bed—the home she wants to go back to, the home she already has, is the one she made with her friends, those weird and wild characters, who love her as she is, whether in dusty brown or glorious Technicolor. Home was waiting for her all along, and though Glinda thinks it’s the shoes that take her there, he can’t help feeling it’s her feet—her feet that carry her out of one home into another, into one bright and honest and oh, I think I’ll miss you most of all.  

“I missed you most of all,” says Lumiere, over his shoulder, and Cogsworth would be furious if he wasn’t reaching up to hold his hand.

"You know I missed you most of all," says Lumiere, sliding over the couch and into his lap, "you know that didn't change when we were back to our old selves, didn't you?"

"I thought..." I don't know what I thought, thinks Cogsworth. "I thought maybe the ten years didn't matter. All the things we...we thought in those ten years. That maybe...maybe now that we're human again, we can't..can't feel the things we...."

"You are an old fool," says Lumiere, kissing him softly on the head.

"I guess some things never change," Cogsworth chuckles, and Dorothy is home again, home again free.

[penname-artist]

Reymund Valentinas Brainrot

My brain currently fixated on this child again this morning and I want to fact-dump some more while he STILL doesn't have a debut fic, unlike his brother. >:(

-If you've ever wanted to get a clearer picture of the kind of life and relationships Apollo and Rey had, not just as siblings but in relation to their parents, just look at all of the flashbacks that Tahani has of her sister and herself in The Good Place. Envision that as Apollo. You'll see why he's always at ends with Rey.

-Reymund went through interesting phases through his childhood. Yes, he did have his major emo phase that Apollo checked out of, and that did have a hand in his music taste, but remember that he was also a stupidly affluent kid growing up, and everything he was into had to have a sense of tastefulness to it the likes a good aesthetic should have. What I'm saying is that his emo phase was less about grunge and more about marrying victorian goth to a Renessaince Depression.

-Since his breaking away from home and going full musical career, Rey's done some pretty impressive stuff for what was essentially a kid. Among those things was break out of a lot of previously daunting 'norms' of a successful musical artist, including the themes that reached his songs, which were almost exclusively never directly about romantic love.

-Ironically - and discovered completely by accident - Reymund and Jackson Storm are the same age, both born in the year 1991. Though, Rey is still quite a bit younger, given he was born on December 4th.

-When the name "Reyzor C" became big in the music industry, a lot of people were of course wondering what the C was there to stand for. They could make the connection of Reymund to Reyzor, but his last name was Valentinas; where's the C? Well it comes out of his middle name, Christian. Yup, his name is Reymund Christian Valentinas.

-He has aquired more music-note tattoos over the years in various locations along his body (or paint, depending on the style you use). However, most all of them are tiny, aside from his one main tattoo featured on his left outer thigh (or in the WoC, his left flank)

-You can tell the age of the albums he's created based on the length of his hair; when he started out, he had a very short asymmetrical cut going on. Over the years though, the left side of his hair has continuously been left to grow longer.

-Tell NOBODY that his nosering was inspired by Apollo getting a tongue piercing. He wanted one too and just didn't want to be called out for copying, so he just chose a piercing on a different part of the body and called it a day.

-Although Rey identifies securely as a cis male, his fashion sense is nigh short of Harry Styles levels of gender-fuckery. Heels? 100%. Flowing floral tops? You know it. Jewelry? Absolutely, the more the merrier. So long as it fits that aesthetic they're trying to capture, Reymund has enjoyed wearing a whole myriad of different styles.

-A lot of his more recent anxiety problems have been spiked further not just from the constant pressure to write specific genres of songs, but also because of the recent retirement of his absolute favorite makeup artist who's walked him through the mass majority of his weariness. Saga - who you might remember from here - has been a pillar in his career and personal life, and though she's no longer working now, they've remained in touch. (Funny how that circle comes around, ain't it?)

-Few times have Rey and Apollo actually seen eye-to-eye on matters, but when they do, it's a very heartwarming sibling moment. One of the most notable was Rey's first Pride Parade experience. He was really anxious the majority of the time, so Apollo (who'd gone with him for the sake of nerves) tried to comfort him in what ways he could, and ice cream seemed like a good bet. Vegan, of course, though. He knows his preferences. (side note I added the "I forgot about posting this for Pride until it was long after the month of Pride" comic strip OF this occurance)

-Ironically, you can almost always tell when they're standing next to each other that Apollo and Rey are siblings. They're the same height, the same hair color and usually same style, they're both thin and lanky, pale-skinned, their eye color is pretty close to one another (Rey's a little more green and Apollo's a little more hazel) and even a lot of their speaking tone and mannerisms are strikingly similar. It's a shame they've clashed so much over their lives, they could make an awesome duo business together.

M'kay that's my brainrot for now, danke for listening in because my God I wanna get this poor child off the ground and into a fic, and it's IN the process of being written, I'm just working on like 40+ WiPs again as per usual. But enjoy nonetheless!