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#i stand with fka twigs
houseofpinkboombox · 2 years
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Listen I know a lot of you think that Megan, FKA Twigs, Evan Rachel Woods and Amber supporters think they're better than everyone else.
And I just want to say. We are. Every last one of us is.
The worst of us is better than the "best" of y'all.
I hope y'all have the worst in 2023 just like the dusty abusers you support with your whole chests.
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mandacantu · 19 days
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10 Reasons Why I Actually Loved The Crow Remake
FKA Twigs - I'm not going to sit here and pretend I am not a huge twigs fan, because I love anything she touches and especially her music. This was her first time as a leading lady and I thought she did a good job. I do think there were some points where her line reading could have been a little more fast paced in some spots, but overall, I think she was captivating, eloquent and emotional. And wow, so many stunning visuals that we got of her from this movie!
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2. We didn't have to see depictions of brutal and violent deaths of women in this film. I didn't want to spend too many of my thoughts on comparisons to the original The Crow, but one thing I noticed was that I didn't have to endure the violent and sexually abusive death of Shelly or any other woman in this movie. I do like the original movie but never cared for the way they went all in on Shelly's death. In this remake, we still see Shelly die but we don't have to endure gratuitous SA scenes whilst losing the leading lady. I appreciated that and was able to relax more, honestly.
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3. The villain had actual motivation for killing and being a villain. There was some decent backstory and character development for the villain and that is something that I always appreciate. Some of my favorite pieces of media (like Spirited Away and Knives Out) do well to at least give the villain a story or a reason for being bad. I think it adds depth to the story and for me, helps immerse me into the plot more.
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4. It felt like a comic book come to life. From the color grading and palette to the way scenes were cut and moved from one to the next, it felt like I was flipping through a comic book. There were moments that were very whimsical in depictions of love and then very gritty scenes. The contrast in some of those scenes felt similar to flipping a page in a comic.
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5. It was very romantic and spent a lot of time focusing on their love story. I thought their love was believable and felt like that whirlwind kind of love where you just want to party and kiss all night. It gave me a reason to care about both of the characters and it gave Shelly a place in the spotlight where she becomes so much more than just a symbol of loss for character development. Focusing on their love and giving us some romance was a timeless decision and puts their love story up there with Romeo and Juliet or Christian and Sateen.
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6. Soundtrack was amazing! If you are into some new wave, some goth tunes and some dance tracks, this is the playlist for you. Beyond just the soundtrack, it was truly a different experience to see it synced up to parts of the movie as intended. The intro was amazing, I thought it was like a James Bond meets Underworld mixed with some NIN music video sprinkled in there. The folks who worked on the score deserve a standing ovation. There were moments where I was tearing up because of how well the music paired with the scene. Most memorable and moving was Joy Division's Disorder when they bust out of rehab together and a perfectly placed Boadicea by Enya. There were so many other good ones too, I'm seriously considering seeing it again just for the mini music videos you get from the film.
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7. It was aesthetically pleasing. And I'm not just talking about the eye candy that was Bill Skarsgård, though lets give him his flowers for being a true Mr. Fanservice! The actual visuals were beautiful. I loved the cinematography and color choices. It was truly a feast for the eyes. Just take a look at this beautiful gif set by pizgif!
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8. I could easily see a story about grief and the longing for justice for loved ones. I thought it was a good story and as I watched it, I thought to myself that the person who wrote the original comic must have gone through an immense loss. It wasn't until I looked it up that it seems to be confirmed that The Crow was inspired by such loss. The moodiness of the movie itself added to the weight of the tragic storyline. In that, I liked that it takes a while for Eric to become The Crow. Losing someone you love transforms you and in this sense, the movie is all about that transformation and pain and longing.
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9. I liked the ending. I don't want to say too much to spoil it, but I enjoyed the different ending and I was definitely teary eyed and sniffling as I left the theater.
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10. It was goth as fuck. I think goth can be a multitude of styles and honestly shouldn't be something that has a gatekeeper. This was emo-boy-goth, it was e-boy-tiktok-hottie-goth, it was goth in a different flavor. I think folks are quick to see this new Eric not dressed like a new-wave-leather-daddy-goth as decidedly not dark enough. To quote a favorite musician, he was "goth as fuck, even when [he's] not in black, gothic is the pain you feel and not the clothes that's on your back."
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Closing thoughts: A lot of the negative criticism is coming from men or diehard fans of the 1994 movie, so I am not surprised. This rendition felt like the same story, just done differently and with more emphasis on the love story than the revenge plot. There is nothing wrong with that and nothing wrong with a gothic romance heavy action flick.
This was intended to be a different version of The Crow and that isn't a bad thing. I personally think that if they had done the styling to be an exact replica of Brandon Lee's rendition then the movie would still get tons of hate, if not more. It was a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation for sure. I'm glad they took a risk and deviated from the '94 version.
We have been doing remakes since the creation of art. It has always been common to hear that the new movie coming out is actually a retelling of this classic tale or continuation of that scary story. Remakes are not a new concept and some of them do well to tell the same story in a different way. We are in the day and age where there isn't really an original idea anymore, anyway. In a world full of countless retellings of Batman/Joker and Spiderman movies, why not remake The Crow? I say fire it up!
I think they do a good job to pave the way for others to retell this love story in the same vein as The Joker and Harley Quinn. Hell, I would say to keep going, next let's see a remake where The Crow is about two badass lesbians. (I might have gotten too peppered up watching the movie, it was hot.)
P.S. I loved that there were little things like Eric wearing Shelly's jacket later in the movie. I feel like a lot of critics saw him wearing this jacket and were quick to bash the costume design too, but this is the kind of attention to detail that made their love believable to me. And I thought he looked cute as hell in it.
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Okay, the end.
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leviscolwill · 9 months
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something in the way you put your hands on my waist ★
pairing: bsf!levi colwill x reader
req: congrats to 600 followers! 🩷 may i request number 8 with levi colwill? ("arms wrapped around your lovers neck")
note: what can i tell, i love a good cliché trope. thank u for requesting anon 🫶🏻
now playing killer by fka twigs...
of course being levi's fake date for his cousin's wedding was a terrible idea. so, of course, you accepted.
if there was any person you would follow blindly, even if they had the worst idea, that would be your best friend.
it was just a small favor after all, saving him from a stupid bet he did with his cousin back when he got engaged; if he didn't have a girlfriend to bring as his plus-one to his cousin's wedding, levi would have to give away his insta password for a whole day.
he had a couple girlfriends during that year between the engagement and the wedding, but nothing too serious, surely not anyone he could take to a family wedding. and you couldn't say no when he said there was no one he'd rather go with.
your thoughts were interrupted by levi's hands finding their way to your waist, pulling you closer. your hands instinctively wrapped around his neck when the beat of the song got slower, the first notes to just the two of us played out and brought a smile on both your faces.
he had been dancing with you all night, very aware of how he was pretty much the only person you knew at the wedding, despite introducing you to every family member and friends, putting extra emphasis on the fact you were his girlfriend, for the night at least.
but something about this song, about the way his hands were the perfect fit for your waist. made all the laughs and small talks all around you subside, and you could somehow, in all the noise, only focus on the man standing dangerously close to you.
your giggles were levi's favourite sound, and he felt like he could die a happy man like this, making you twirl, your laugh floating in the air before your fingers found their place back to his neck, rubbing circles softly.
you knew what was going to happen next, something you found yourself daydreaming of quite often. his eyes flickered between your eyes and your lips while yours bore in his, unrelenting, silently daring him to make a move.
one of his hands left your waist to let his fingers brush against your lips ever so softly, as if he was scared to break you.
ever the pessimist one, choosing to put levi in charge of the positive side of your duo instead, you always complained about the obvious realism in your romance books whenever the main character mentioned something about feeling like you were 'the only people on earth'.
but that's how it felt, perpetual nothingness in your mind if it wasn't for levi's touch.
"can i?" his voice brought you back a bit closer to reality, although everything about it still felt like a dream.
you didn't trust yourself to speak right now, instead opting for a small nod, big enough for levi to get the green light.
his fingers tilted your face up, but he still had to bend a bit to be at the perfect distance to finally kiss you, he made you wait a couple more seconds though, scanning your face, to count every single freckle, every beauty mark, every little thing that made you, you.
and he then leaned in, connecting your lips. standing on your tippy toes desperately chasing more. your fingers slightly scratching the skin at the back of his neck, if you let go of him your knees would probably give up on you, so this only gave you more of a reason to hold on to him for dear life.
everything was better than in any of your dreams, or in any of levi's dreams for that matter. it was a kiss that left you breathless, literally. you had to push levi's chest to catch your breath seeing as he wouldn't stop anytime soon.
the small trace of common sense remaining urged you to check if anyone in attendance had an horrified look on their face at the unexpected pda, but everyone was just enjoying the wedding. the world around you didn't change one bit, but you knew this action changed the course of your relationship with your best friend.
when you looked up at him, his eyes were already on yours. you couldn't help the laugh at the smudged lipstick on levi's lips, quickly wiping it away with your thumb.
your little moment was interrupted by levi's cousin playfully slapping his back, “not gonna lie, i thought you were gonna pull a trick to get out of the bet, but it's nice meeting your girlfriend still."
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imaginesbymonika · 2 years
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“Shame” (Part 1)
A Pedro Pascal x fem!Reader fan fiction
Plot: For the last four years, Y/N and Pedro have been dating in secret. The fear of rejection has turned them into a mystery that could only be encountered in yearning looks on red carpets or hands that are touching one another briefly. However, for the longest time, things have been working out that way just fine. But now Pedro's agency wants him to have a PR relationship with another woman and neither Y/N nor Pedro is sure if their love is going to survive that.
Warnings: mentions of sadness, blood
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The young woman can feel how blood is dripping down her neck and she drops her hand to glance down at her nails. It is not a lot of blood, maybe a couple of drops but holy fuck does it feel good. Y/N knows that this was a messed up thing to think, but she just can't help herself. It takes a couple of seconds, but eventually, the shame washed over her like a wave, dragging her into the open ocean. She feels beyond grateful to be the only one in the dressing room right now because she doesn't even know how to justify this kind of behavior to anyone.
Y/N quickly stands up from her place on the couch and walks over to the small bathroom, where she grabs a towel to press onto the stinging spot right beneath her left ear.
The embarrassment sinks deep into her bones and Y/N wonders if this is something she will have to live with from now on. Like some sort of emotion that she just will have to endure and endure… fuck… all she ever did was endure. She lowers the light blue towel and stares at the small dark speck. A sigh leaves her lips. She feels stupid, childish, and immature. She shouldn't have hurt herself, he wouldn't want that.
At the sound of her iPhone going off, Y/N turns her head. The muffled ringtone is coming from underneath the couch, and when she kneels down to grab it she flinches. "Fuck!", she looks down at her hand, where she cut her fingers on the split screen. Everything feels like a blur:" Come on, Y/N. Get it together!" She grabs her phone and softens when she notices Pedro's face.
"Yeah?", she asks and brings the phone up to her ear:" What's up?" She rolls her eyes at her own choice of words. She says 'what's up' as if she doesn't know the exact reason why he is calling her right now. Pedro clears his throat:" I- I just wanted to check in with you. Ask if you are okay."
Y/N nods:" Yeah, oh no I'm okay. Thanks." However hot tears are threatening to roll down her cheeks and she lowers the phone to cover the microphone with her other hand. She takes a deep and trembling breath, before letting out a frail whimper. Nothing was okay.
"Okay. Good.", Pedro answers after a few seconds:" See you tonight?" Y/N smiles at that:" Yeah, sure. See you later." "Great.", Pedro's voice is flat and if she didn't know it any better she would think that he was crying right now. But considering how he is presumably inside the venue for the Emmy's she highly doubts it. "I am not going to the after-show party, I'm returning straight to you after this."
"Okay.", Y/N hears how loud music is playing in the background of the call. "Okay, I have to hang up now. Remember, I love you okay. Please remember."
"I love you too, so so much."
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pinkwright · 2 years
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everybody knows that i want ur love | shuri udaku.
ƸӜƷ
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pairing — panther!shuri x partygirl!y/n
trope — bestfriends 2 lovers
inspo — oh my love by fka twigs
warnings — fingering, spanking (reader receiving), slight choking, shuri's hands, possessive!shuri, panther!shuri, bratty reader, dom!shuri, handsy!shuri, shuri's a little mean, petty!reader, sub!reader, dacryphilia, dirty talk, possession kink (?) idfk, humiliation kink, slighttt voyeurism, needy!reader, jealous!shuri, i feel like this friendship group lowks gives poly vibes but truly reader just loves her friends n they love her okayyy.
request by @vai27 {can i please request a dom!shuri fic, smut a friend to lover with shuri and reader where they’re super attracted to each other and always flirting but never act on the sexual tension. until one day shuri is upset about something and she warns the reader to behave and the reader teases her by asking what “are you going to do about it, spank me?” and shuri actually does, lots of smut maybe even some chocking}
a/n — hope u enjoy ! <3 i didn't write this yall, i'm classy.
⟢˚ @mbakuetshurisprincess @inmyheadimobsessed @letitias-fav @barkbarkbo @shurismainbxtch @verachii @rxcently @shuriszn @lppriceisright @heartsforjojo
i could be with anyone, i’m fussy like pussy cat. you’re the only one i want. give love and then you take it back, won’t the kisses all be fun?
the smooth hazelnut drink glides out of your cup, and you let out a satisfied hum at the sweet taste, your lashes fluttering before you sweep your eyes over the bustling coffee shop. her powerful aura makes it hard to miss her, a light smile dancing on her lips as you make your way towards her, and she stands from the booth to greet you.
she reaches for your coffee and your bagged muffin setting the two on the table behind her before she’s settling her arms around your waist, sliding them across your skin to firmly place her hands onto your lower back, pressing you against her. she hums as her lips ghost over your cheekbones then down your neck as she breathes you in.
“late as always, s’thandwa.”
the words are murmured into your skin, her voice cheeky and low as she barely pulls away, her hands dragging up the skin of your waist until they’re sliding along your arms to grab your hands, which she lifts to her face, her dark eyes intently holding yours as she brushes her pillowy lips across your knuckles, and there’s a smirk threatening to break across her face when the action makes your mouth part.
“you smell divine.”
then she’s stepping back, pulling your joined hands from her face as she guides you into the booth where she was sitting, urging you to sit by the window, and then she sits right next to you, her arm placing itself over your shoulder, her hand fiddling with your soft locs. you blink, turning your head to look at her from under her arm, and her eyes are already on you causing a bashful smile to adorn your lips as you part your mouth to thank her.
“five minutes and thirty seconds, that’s a new low, y/n.”
your head snaps across the table, your gaze catching riri’s before sliding beside her to catch monet’s, their eyes are twinkling in mischief and you slightly pull away from shuri, ignoring her groan of protest as the heat crawls up your cheeks. you roll your eyes at the two girls before you’re biting out, “i was literally about to greet you, impatient ass niggas.”
your voice is light and teasing, knowing that your sight was tunnel-visioned on shuri from the moment you spotted her, the two girls let out noises of indignation and the smile grows on your face at being in the presence of the people you love. the conversation is flowing nicely, filled with laughter, and flying topics, shuri’s head drops to your neck as she moves her arm from around your shoulders to wrap around your waist, pulling you so close to her that you are almost in her lap.
the two girls are unphased, having witnessed the plausible sexual tension between both of their friends an infinite number of times, and you feel yourself melting into shuri’s firm grip. the warmth from her hands is seeping into your skin as she draws circles on your exposed waist, and a light laugh leaves your lips, fluttering along monet’s disbelieving cackle as you set down your empty coffee cup.
you lift your gaze to hers, smirking, before smoothing your hands over your skirt, seeing shuri reach for your unopened muffin from the corner of your eye, before monet speaks between her giggles, “he said that to you? he couldn’t have been serious.”
you laugh again before deadpanning at the girl, “the audacity of men is always that serious, mo.”
shuri snorts beside you, breaking off a piece of the warm baked good and popping it in her mouth, your eyes fixed on the clench of her jaw as she chews, feeling the heat lick at your skin as you stare.
“uyaphambana [he's audacious]. he should’ve known not to try anything with you.”
you raise your eyebrow at her, the heat between your legs burning at the dark and cocky tone coating the arguably possessive words, “what do you even mean by that?”
when shuri’s gaze slowly cuts to yours, she’s lifting a piece of the chocolate treat to your lips, your mouth dropping open on its own, and her fingers brush against your lips when she deposits the treat into your awaiting mouth. her eyes are intense, and her grip tightens on your waist as she watches you chew slowly.
there’s ringing in your ears and the only thing on your mind is shuri; how her dark eyes take in your face, how her hand is firmly kneading your skin, her long fingers digging into your softness as she mumbles the words to you.
“swallow for me, baby.”
you do as you’re told, her free hand coming to rest on your thigh before it slides up and down the skin there, lightly tapping your knee to urge you to unclench your legs, her long fingers falling between your legs and settling high there. when someone clears their throat aggressively, you’re flinching in humiliation, turning to see riri and monet looking visibly irritated.
“might as well fuck in front of us too.” riri mumbles under her breath, sending you into a coughing spree as your breath catches at her words.
shuri squeezes you, her hand lifting to rub your back as she chuckles, quickly retorting about how the two girls would ‘enjoy the show too much’. and monet quickly teases back, murmuring in agreement, slyly commenting about how ‘hot you and y/n look together already’, gasping theatrically about how she wouldn’t be able to handle it.
you splutter in utter embarrassment, your cheeks hot as all three of them laugh at you, they loved to see you get embarrassed because it was so easy to get you there. your eyes roll as a smile teases your lips, threatening to break your annoyed façade, before you clear your throat, “shut the fuck up, are we still on for tonight?”
they let out hums of agreement as you check your phone, 17:53, and you’re picking up your trash as you hug everyone goodbye letting them know that you’re going to get ready.
shuri follows you out but when she makes a move to walk you home, you protest heavily, your hand lifting to lightly push against her stomach, the tense of her abs makes you pause before you look up at her.
“stop, babe. in case you forgot, your apartment is that way and i am fully capable of getting back on my own.”
she hesitates before reluctantly agreeing, you laugh and spin to walk away, feeling her eyes follow your figure as you walk. when your door shuts behind you and you catch the giddy smile on your face in the mirror, one you must’ve showcased the entire walk back, it’s like a slap in the face.
you and shuri dance around each other like potential lovers but you know that would never happen, you wish you could chop it up to your own insecurities but truly it was because shuri never fails to draw a line between the two of you when things get too risky, too intimate.
honestly, it was tiring and a little hurtful, the push and pull between you, especially given how much you loved her – you wanted her so badly, absolutely ached to have her as your girlfriend and everyone seemed to know but her.
you sigh out loud, frustrated, you drop your tense shoulders and make your way to your wardrobe; you were going to dress absolutely wicked, get absolutely wasted, and possibly, but very unlikely, end up under someone tonight and completely forget about shuri udaku.
the sweat was shining on your body, your skin glittering under the lights as you danced with monet and the feeling is freeing, the music flowing through you like it was a part of you, guiding you in the crowd but you’re in your own world, unaware of the number of eyes on you.
the figure that steps behind you is ignored by you too, their body shifting to match the rhythm of your already moving waist, and unbeknownst to you, riri, sitting next to shuri at the bar, spares the wakandan queen a nervous glance. even she knew that your actions were intentional, aiming to provoke shuri, somehow. she didn't know whether to commend you for your bravery or cuss you (and shuri) out for the obtuse display of stupidity.
shuri feels like she’s in a trance as her gaze sweeps over your moving figure, the smile on your lips so fucking devastating that it makes her mind viciously buzz with static, her eyes darkening as they settle on the material on your hips steadily rising with your every movement.
and she can feel the panther inside her simmering under her skin, she was livid. she downs her whiskey before setting it roughly on the kitchen counter forcing herself to calm down, you weren’t hers.
but seeing you so familiar with some stranger when you had hardly even acknowledged her tonight made her feel wrong as if something was missing, it had her feeling on edge in a way she hasn’t in a very long time. she doesn’t even realise how long she’s been silently seething until she’s hearing you, hearing your pretty voice travel through her, gliding into her senses accompanied by your sweet scent.
“why are you just sitting here, ri? it’s not like we’re at a party or anything.”
you grab riri’s hands, moving to stand in front of the small girl who rolls her eyes at your sarcasm before snarkily responding, and it makes you snort. monet moves to sit in the seat next to riri, opposite to the side shuri sat on, dropping her head to rest in the ri's neck. you fiddle with the girl’s rings nervously, actively trying to ignore the certain presence near you.
but when you see movement out of the corner of your eye, you stiffen slightly, having been overtly aware of her attention on you since you had walked over to the pair, quickly forcing yourself to resist acknowledging her – despite her burning, and alluring gaze being fixed on you the entirety of the night.
riri and monet are staring at you amusingly, your actions were obvious to them, and it made you glare at them before clearing your throat, subtly stepping away from riri’s seated figure to try to slide yourself between her and monet, further away from shuri.
and that made the panther snap.
before you can blink, shuri is standing, her hand wrapping around your wrist as she tugs you against her frame, your breath stutters as she stands with your back pressed against her chest and slides her hands to wrap around your body.
her hand interlaces over yours, coming to rest over your stomach while the other is placing itself on the dip of your hip, her thumb pressing into the flesh of your upper ass, and she’s leaning her head down to your ear, her breath making you shiver.
“walk.”
the command is accompanied by a firm press of her hand, one that makes your thighs clench tightly, and one that wasn’t needed because your body is moving before she can even exhale. the crowd gently parts for the both of you, everyone seems to sense the tension rolling off the dangerously powerful woman behind you, sparing a nosy glance before going back to enjoying their night out.
once shuri’s got you in a seemingly abandoned hallway in the furthest corner of the huge house the party was being hosted in, she’s swiftly pressing you into the wall, her hands on either side of your head as she leans down to glare into your eyes, your figure shrinking at the intensity in them.
“you’re pissing me off, baby.”
her voice is even, and low, so low, it makes you wonder what she’d sound like getting lost in devouring you, and god, she sounded so hot, the heat in your stomach flickering wildly. the music sounded far away, and it makes you realise just how far off from the centre of the party you both were, and that makes you clench in anticipation.
your mouth parts at her words, your eyes narrowing in disbelief, you were pissing her off? you can feel a different heat lick at your throat, one of impulse, of defiance. and shuri sees it coming before it happens, your chin raising ever so slightly as your eyebrow lifts in a challenge, but she’s too shocked to intercept you, “i do what i want, panther.”
the words were spat from your mouth carrying a heavy sneer and the use of her title provokes shuri. a heavy heat spiking under her skin and she can feel herself vibrating with the need to claim you, fuck you into knowing exactly what she was to you, what you were to her, to them.
she wraps her hand around your throat, squeezing just enough to provoke a sharp gasp out of you, tilting your jaw as she pulls your face so close to her own that you can feel her heavy breaths on your lips, feel the tremble in her body as she practices self-control, “you better fucking behave, y/n.”
her tone rings warning bells in your head but you want her to break the line, to unapologetically snap herself into ravaging you, so your voice is teasing when you speak, “or else what? what are you going to do if i don’t? spank me?”
suddenly, you’re facing the wall, shuri’s manhandling you like she owned you, her chest roughly pressing against your back before her hand is rearing back and slapping the skin of your ass, and the loud moan you let out is of shock, your pussy clenching at the impact. there's silence as she pauses, your breathing heavy and you're so wet.
her hand is simply rubbing over the muscle, but when you slightly arch, presenting yourself to her. she’s letting out a strained grunt, before repeating her previous actions, once then twice, and on the third, you let out a desperate whimper trying to push back into her hits, her hands on you feeling like the redemption you didn't know you needed, but she’s pinning you to the wall with her other hand.
“be fucking good.”
her voice is rough, and gravelly as she continues spanking you, her big hands soothing the skin after every hit despite her harsh tone. you’re a whimpering, desperate mess and it makes shuri ache, you were everything she needed. the thought makes her last slap heavier, itching to hear a break within your pretty sounds and she does – the heavy gasp you let out breaking sinfully around its pitch, trailing off into a wet whimper, and it’s music to her ears.
her hand circles your stinging cheek, massaging the soft muscle as she drops her nose to your neck, your scent invading her senses as she runs it along your neck, smirking slightly at the goosebumps she leaves in her trail. shuri slides her hand down to the hem of your skirt, pausing for a breath or two, to feel you squirm before slipping her fingers between your legs, groaning when she feels the wetness along your inner thighs.
you feel her other hand press on your lower back, lightly pressing you into an arch before she moves it to rest along the hem of your skirt, your cheek pressing into the coolness of the wall as you feel her hand leave your thighs. your heart beats rapidly in your chest and you can feel the pulsing beats travelling through the heavy pump of your veins before settling, painfully in the heat between your legs.
and then she’s sliding your skirt up your thighs achingly slow, and you clench your thighs tightly when you remember just where you two were, a whimper escaping your lips as you squirm, your knees rubbing together as you realise just how exposed you were, anyone could walk passed and just see you.
“you embarrassed, baby?” her words are taunting and they make your eyes shut tightly, your back arching more into her before you whimper, her words print themselves into your psyche, lull you into a blanket of safety that only she could wrap you in, “you don’t want them to hear you give yourself to me? see you dripping onto the floor like my bratty little slut?”
“please, please, shuri, i’ll be so good, please just touch me.”
your words are broken, coming out in incoherent, needy jumbles that make shuri hum as she fixes your skirt on your hips, the material bunching around your waist and it makes you so vulnerable, so available to prying eyes, and the thought makes you drip. everyone would know, know who you belonged to if they were to set their eyes on the scene and the notion makes your hips buck in her grip, hearing the amused chuckle she breathes into the tense air.
"such a desperate, needy girl hm."
when shuri leans against you once again, her head is dropping to your neck before her hand slides down your ass to brush against your soaked panties, you jolt as she groans, rubbing her fingers in slow circles over your underwear, and your clit is pulsing under her attention. your head nods frantically as the sounds slip out of your lips, her hands finally touching you feeling like too much but too little at the same time, she was overwhelming you and she knew it.
“tell me you’re mine, princess.”
the words make you arch your back further, craving more from her, “i’m yours, i’m yours, only yours, shuri.” your voice is pleading, your hips circle to match her movements and shuri can smell the desperation off you and the sadistic side of her thrives in it, “mhmm, that’s right, s’thandwa.”
her hand momentarily leaves you to harshly slide your panties down your legs, and even when your instincts tell you to hide, you know you can’t, the material is sitting around your ankles, kissing your heels. shuri brings the hand that’s around your waist up to your jaw, shifting your gaze to connect with hers to watch your mouth drop open as she presses tight circles around your clenching entrance.
"keep those pretty eyes on me when i'm touching you, angel."
her eyes study the way your eyebrows scrunch, the way your chest heaves as she slips a finger into your warm walls, her own pussy clenching at how divine you felt. the breaths you’re heaving out are almost painful against your ribs, the drag of shuri’s fingers in you making the ball in your stomach expand painfully like she’s dragging you to your release.
“you gonna come for me, baby?” your head is nodding frantically, your mouth open as you gasp repeatedly, feeling so, so close, “you think you deserve it? you were so mean to me earlier, angel.” she’s cooing. her voice is taunting, tainted with a sweet, wicked venom as her fingers start to slow to a stop and you could sob with how desperate you were. the protests that fall from your lips are quickly silenced with the sharp look shuri sends you, the sheer dominance rolling off of her making your pussy clench tightly around her fingers, aching to keep her in there.
shuri grunts when she feels the welcoming clenches of your walls around her fingers, and she’s unable to resist the urge to give you one last harsh thrust that has you moaning out before withdrawing from you completely, turning your figure to face her. a smirk slides over her lips when she sees how open you are to her, to her touch and it quells the possessive fire inside her; you were hers.
slowly, she brings her hands to wrap around the ends of your long locs, lightly pulling them to make you look up at her before her eyes flicker between both of yours, bast, she was in love with you. you looked ruined, ruined by and for her, your lashes clinging together, your chest heaving and she leans down to breathe you in, her teeth sinking into the pillow of your lips, wishing to see them swell and bruise under the attention.
and her hand is back in your aching cunt, your wetness dripping down her arm makes her smirk at you and your hips are rocking against her fingers, your eyes never leaving hers as you moan unabashedly into her mouth, “my dirty little angel. let them hear you when you come for your love, yeah?” and you shake violently at how she refers to herself, your legs attempting to close around her arm, and she laughs at you.
your nails are digging into her forearms to ground yourself, your head so cloudy with the pleasure she was giving you that you don’t realise just how much your hips were needily thrusting against her hand, shuri watches you lose yourself in her and she can hear the predator purr in response, leaning down to lay several pecks on your unresponsive pretty lips.
“that’s it, baby. rock on me until you’re all pretty and hazy for me, giving me all that come because that’s all you’re good for, my love.”
her coos are low and whispered into you, lulling you like a siren call as her words call your release forward, your legs trying to shut around her strong arm as you weep, but she simply tuts, continuing her harsh thrusts in your sloppy heat, speaking praises into your open mouth, her gaze hungrily trailing over the hot tears that streamed down your cheeks, your eyes clenched as your vision blanked.
shuri drops her head to your neck, the warm kisses trailing along your skin bringing you back to her, your eyes blinking up at her as she pulls away to kiss on your face, coaxing a giggle out of you while she slides your skirt back down to cover you. her body is relaxed as she drops down to slip your underwear from your legs, sliding them into her pocket as she gently, lovingly kisses your knee.
you whine pathetically as you look down at her, “come kiss me.”
shuri's eyes roll as she stands to your height, her eyes narrowing at you and the pout adorning your puffy lips as a smile pulls at her own, “still so fucking bratty.”
she slides her hand to cradle the back of your head pulling you gently towards her, pausing as your breath hitches before her soft lips slide over yours. her emotions are spilling into the kiss and so are yours, you can taste the unsaid words, the restraint, the need, you can feel her love as she wordlessly presses it into you, and it makes overwhelmed tears spring from your shut eyes.
your hand blindly grasps for hers before weaving your fingers together, and shuri finds herself drawing a line to wrap around the both of you instead of redrawing the one keeping you from her.
oh, my love. it’s been a long road. but you never, never said if you’re letting me go, for sure. if you won’t let me go, then you gotta try, hold me close.
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hoodreader · 13 days
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Sept. 9, 2024. Moon in Sagittarius, & the Grand Square of Sept. 10
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general transit reading. word count. ~900. disclaimer, all of my posts are theoretical. :p
keywords “meta angel” by FKA twigs (sag rising & moon). map. reminds me of page of wands as well as two of wands. voyager. thinking too much. in ur head. faith.
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the moon enters sagittarius on september 9th, 2024 @ 1:26 PM EST.
when the moon transits into sagittarius, there’s a nomadic energy to me. sagittarius rules things that are far-distanced and the moon is the home or things that are familiar, so combined, this gives the energy of someone who finds familiarity in the unfamiliar and brings it with them emotionally/sporutally as they go on in their journey. they no longer need to feel constant to feel safe.
as the moon exited the sign of constraint, it now enters the sign that represents liberation. which is great because saturn in pisces was just telling the scorpio moon to liberate itself.
but eventually, this trine will disappear to be replaced by a square (sometime around 9.10.24 evening EST) and cause tension between the two bodies. moon in sagittarius on go right now hoping to push a limit, but saturn in pisces not as active. sagittarius moon will thus try to push what represents boundaries (saturn) but lowkey… the boundary isn’t there (it’s in pisces and Rx). maybe this aspect says that by pushing against the boundary, u reinforce that it exists. even if ur trying to challenge it.
pisces saturn energy will just find another way and will be resourceful to its environment because there are again no boundaries. sagittarius moon is still bound by a few things, such as finding security in what is known, logical, or truthful. i don’t think that’s necessarily a bad security to have, it’s nice to know things materially. but pisces saturn Rx wants to question what u know and thus what makes u feel secure. and the moon’s eventual grand square (on september 10th) with the sun in virgo, saturn in pisces Rx, and jupiter in gemini furthers this point. it’s an anxious ass composition.
jupiter - being weakened by gemini - scatters the mind when it’s influencing the moon (a co-ruler of the mind). sagittarius is the archer so u can imagine that it has a ‘target’. the tip of the arrow is pointed and precise. but not gemini. gemini touches all bases.
gemini jupiter shows a struggle with faith because there’s a lack of conviction/commitment. and likewise, mercury shows anxiety. anxiety often comes from overthinking. when our mind attempts to be logical in turn, fuels a fear of our faith being misplaced. i think saturn — the planet of fears — being in Rx pisces is saying to understand that what manifests spiritually is not isolated from the reality. however, jupiter in gemini discourages that faith by being weakened and an overthinker. this brings insecurity and second-thoughts to the moon.
saturn in pisces Rx isn’t saying abandon boundaries. they exist regardless, as reality is filled with bounds. but it’s saying that the boundless spirit is the predecessor for the bounded reality. what is allowed in the unseen will come to light in the seen. what will u lay to be the foundation of ur reality?
the last puzzle piece in this grand square is the sun in virgo, with the sun representing the ego. the virgo sun also prioritizes reality and what’s tangible because it’s easier to verify thus easier to have faith or confidence in. but the sun is opposing the saturn in pisces Rx. we just confront the part of our ego that desires control.
a grand square astrologically reminds me a lot of a standard table - there are four corners and four legs supporting the weight and the weight is distributed evenly to every corner. tension and gravity is what keeps the table standing and fortified.
now take away one leg. the table is severely weakened. it will lean. and the three remaining legs take on more tension to compensate the missing leg. it is still standing but it’s not functional. place any weighted item on the table and the table will fall. with even less legs, the table can’t even give the guise of stability.
a grand square is filled with tension just like that table. four squares and two oppositions. but the tension is what holds it together. think of the oppositions as the supporting beams running down the middle forming a cross, and the squares reinforcing the perimeter with the planets representing the legs. grand squares are filled with challenges, but supporting the strained connections between the planets better reinforces it.
this transit pulls us in 4 different corners of a map, which can make it difficult to hone in on an overall goal or lesson. there is so much to be distracted by.
we have sun in virgo desperately trying to ground us in reality, but the planet of reality opposing it and telling it the opposite.
we have moon in sagittarius seeking the truth, but the planet of truth playing tricks on it.
we have saturn and moon both in signs ruled by jupiter. but one is challenging boundaries while the other one doesn’t acknowledge there is a boundary at all.
we have jupiter and the sun both in signs ruled by mercury. but one wants something reliable and close to home while the other wants to explore every fleeting thought.
saturn and jupiter frustrate each other. saturn calls for quiet and patience. jupiter is active and playful.
and the sun and moon show a clash as the moon wants to reach past what has been established and the sun wants to stay near what is expected.
it’ll be a confusing transit for the moon, emotionally at a crossroads. but a mutable grand square means to focus so that u may support that directionless energy. instead, turn it into adaptability. so how will u allow that to happen? will u let the water flow? or will u spiral trying to contain what is incapable of being contained? :p
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$35 for moon transit x natal readings. includes transit readings centered on the transit moon & natal / transit aspects & timed predictions.
work of hoodreader blah blah no ai, no copy/paste, no plagiarism, no translations, copyright all rights reserve
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jiwoodawnstarnation · 1 month
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I love how fka twigs is wearing platform heels while standing next to Bill at the premiere yet he's still remains taller
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pauking5 · 4 months
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Addicting Taste Chapter 10
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Pairing: Enishi Yukishiro x female reader oc
Genre: strangers to lovers, mutual pining, found love, fluff, spice, a lot of teasing, angst
Word count: 45.1k
TW: panic attack, mentions of anxiety, unhinged violence, some gore, mentions of heights, a lot of cursing
A/N: I know this one was long overdue but she's here for you in all her glory and pain. She's been a constant work in progress for the past five months and it's all going downhill from now, so buckle up. I hope it's good and not a bore to go through considering she's long as hell but I thought you deserved the little extra treat for waiting so long. Lastly, don't hate me but this one's loaded emotionally. I had a few cries but more from editing it so many times that my eyes gave out. Chapter 11 is already in the works but she's gonna take a while. Not too long though *wink*. Hope you missed these three wimps as much as I have. Their team dynamic means the world to me. Sidenote: we are heading slowly to the rurouni kenshin the final verse soooon ;) Can't wait for you to read all that's coming. So, enjoy lovelies. Please send some sign of life through after you read so I know I didn't go off the fucking rails yet. Kisses and prayers :')
Playlist: espresso - sabrina carpenter, favorite - isabel larosa, queen - loren gray, lilili yabbay - seventeen, the boy is mine - ariana grande, training season - dua lipa, been like this - doja cat, tears in the club - fka twigs, i think i'm in love - kat dahlia, wicked game - ursine vulpine ft annaca, broken - seether ft amy lee, don't deserve you - plumb, words - skylar grey, these walls - dua lipa, hearts - jessie ware, lonely together - sofia karlberg, borderline - tove lo, theory of light - eternal eclipse, 5sos - teeth, within temptation - wireless, rescue my heart - liz longley, and so it begins - klergy
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Asshole. Idiot. Rash, unpredictable, self-absorbed jerk.
You punched your pillow hard with every new word popping into your head that described the way Enishi acted moments ago at the breakfast table. There were a whole lot of insults and even more curse words running less and less wonderful with the growing upscale of your anger at the gray-haired man, but several questions popped in over them.
What the fuck happened to him?
I know he's a Gemini and two-faced behaviour is hard to hold back from, especially when you're being an unreasonable dick unable to interact with people. But this bipolar back and forth is too much, even for him. He's like a fucking riddle, so hard to decipher, figure out and understand, especially when all he does is close himself in like that, pushing people away like they're the plague.
He's jealous of something? Someone? Then just say that. Just say anything about your feelings so that I don't have to keep being the one assuming and wondering where you stand. Human beings like communication a lot, maybe he should try it sometimes. Sometimes soon before I put my foot through his face and carve some really nice indents under that jaw-
Jerk. Handsome, good-looking, impetuous little shit.
"UGH I WANT TO PUNCH HIM SO BAD!" you screamed into your pillow for the tenth time this morning. Koru just looked at you like you've grown a second head, choosing to retreat away to the safety of the other side of the bed.
"Damn, so you really are down bad for him."
Your head snapped to your door seeing the blonde leaning on the door frame, arms crossed over his chest and amusement ever-present on his face. He was enjoying your misery and these fucking pre-school games a little too much for his wellbeing. You spared him a look that you weren't in the mood for teasing then went back to digging a hole in your pillow, kinda hoping it would turn into a real one if you hit it harder from a different angle.
He walked over to your bed and sat on the edge just as you plunged your head deeper with a fresh wave of embarrassment hitting you like a truck.
"Is it that obvious?" your voice came out muffled.
At first, he chuckled lowly to himself at your conflicted appearance. Taking another look at you, he decided that he could push your buttons just a little more. "Want me to lie to you?"
Lifting your head briefly, you narrowed your eyes at him ready to smack him to the end of the planet in the hopes he would fall off into a black hole or something. But then you thought about it again and nodded your head, hoping he would come with some fresh new insight. Though you regretted it as soon as he opened his mouth.
"It's not obvious at all. Not like you're drooling over him all the time, chasing looks at him when he's not looking and sizing him up with your eyes for some fashion plans to revamp his really outdated and boring style," he counted on his fingers hitting every single point like he put his hand in your head pulling out your very own thoughts.
Not sure what you were expecting but it wasn't... this. If the hills weren't so far away, you would've happily ran up the slopes to the highest peak and walked off straight into the abyss of the valleys below by now, hopefully eating some grass on the way and dying. All because it really was that obvious to everyone else but not to him. That says a lot considering he's the one that goes around analyzing people and noticing stuff like a detector before you even know what goes on.
"Kill me now," you whined, crashing back into the pillow with a fake sob that sounded more like a mewl that even the feline next to you wouldn't be able to reproduce.
"Look, what he said back there was rash and a teeny tiny bit stupid," he started with a finger up in the air, but once you shot him a murderous look he recalculated his words and dropped it back down. "Okay, maybe extremely stupid. But give him the benefit of the doubt."
"Benefit of the doubt?" you sat up on the bed, appalled at what you were hearing. "You slept together in the same bed for one night and now you're suddenly not in a deathly competition to win my heart or something like that anymore?"
"Haha, I have no idea what you're talking about," he scratched the back of his neck, throwing his eyes around the room as if it wasn't identical to his own.
"I may be oblivious most of the time but I can read bullshit when I see it," you said sharp and clear. The authority made his eyes dart back to you instantly, his adam's apple bobbing nervously in his throat before he sighed loudly, shoulders dropping in defeat.
"Before you rip my head off," he reached out and put Koru between you as leverage so you wouldn't lash out on him, "just know he agreed to it too. He seemed pretty confident he could just kick me out of here if he won you over."
Motherfucker.
Was that all I was to him? Something to own? Just another sword to be displayed like a trophy in his office?
Having your suspicions confirmed that this shit was actually happening, with extra details too, was definitely not on your bingo card. He went too far. Actually, too far wasn't even fully describing how dumb this game he took part in was. You expected some shit like this from Cho because the cogs in his brain didn't always turn at a normal speed or to an intellectual degree higher than dolphins. No offense to dolphins, I adore them. But you did not expect this at all from him. Not after everything you've already been through. After opening up and being real with each other for him to throw it all on a fucking bet.
If this was his way of showing interest in you, he was doing it all wrong and backwards. Instead of winning you over, this would make him lose you. Completely.
Then it hit you. Your revenge plan could use a few adjustments. It was time you became this man's headache, raging when he least expected it, like an ever present reminder not to fuck with the female species.
Make that two men actually.
You turned to the blonde with a grin on your face stretching wider and much more creepier than your usual smile, telling him you were up to no good. And when you were up to no good, chaos ensued faster than a flint could light a fire.
It was time to play dirty. It was time to take over possessive misogyny with some pure, raw and unleashed female rage, plus some fun mind games because apparently these two fuckers loved them more than anything in the world. Unfortunately for him, but happily for you, the blonde sitting on your bed looking rather confused at your sudden change in behaviour will be the first to get a taste of it.
"What if you won me over?" you asked, physically batting your eyes at him, mentally rubbing your hands like a fly plotting to raise hell.
All he did was blink repeatedly, trying to process that those words actually left your mouth willingly. He must have thought someone put a hex on you or you were sick since he placed his hand on your forehead before you slapped it off, nearly shoving him off the bed.
"Say what again?" he asked cluelessly, tilting his head to the side.
I will repeat myself solely for the sake of my own sanity.
"Exactly what you heard," you clapped your hands together, meaning business. His eyes darted to your enclosed hands, narrowing in suspiciously as he listened in more attentively. "What if we make it seem as though you did win me over?"
"To make him jealous?" he pondered your words for a moment as you nodded eagerly. Seems like he wasn't that hopeless after all.
The way your eyes sparkled up at him told him two things - you really wanted to make mophead jealous for reasons he was able to see clearly on your face like the light of day, and the fact that he could use this to his advantage. Somewhere in this temporary play pretend, he could actually win you over and make you forget about him. It was a win-win situation either way. He was just surprised that you had it in you to join the game like that.
He took a while to gather his thoughts rendering you a little uneasy. Something told you that your motives weren't solid enough for him to accept the proposal. That he needed something more to cement it. So you threw in another side to the deal. One that was sure to get him going before you reeled back on your own plan.
"Help me," you took his hand in yours, stroking the back of it softly to appeal to his ego, "and I will grant you a wish."
"Can I wish for anything-"
"If it's something dirty-minded, freaky or horribly disturbing, your balls," you pointed at the crack of his pants, trailing your eyes up to meet his, "will be Koru's to play with."
Gulping and wide-eyed at your words, he looked down at the ball of black fur nuzzling his thigh lovingly then turned back to you, seeing absolutely no difference between your auras. Turns out adorable could also be lethal if touched wrong.
"Deal," he lifted a hand to you, tilting his head to the side with his usual goofy smile back on his face.
"Good," you shook hands, sealing the deal with your pinkies and a stamp. Just like old times.
His hand lingered on yours a bit more, long pinky and bigger thumb gripping your smaller ones gently, a lot more gentler than before. The rough boy he used to be, making empty promises he couldn't keep and acting like the world owed him everything was still there, but the mature man, a lot more sure of himself going after what he wanted was the one holding your hand now smiling warmly back at you. He did change.
Your smile slowly grew dim and shy as his golden eyes peered back at you, light and playful, enveloping you in his gaze, secretly swapping your fingers for your whole hand, sitting in a comforting hold in his bigger one. You realized he was right that night he pulled you on top of him, pressing your hand against his heart and yours, both beating almost in sync. He was still someone who took up space in your heart. Maybe not a whole half of it, but a part that was big enough to make you look at him too, as a man.
You were looking now and it would be one of the biggest lies you've ever told yourself to say that it didn't send your heart racing. There were unspoken feelings swarming in your chest even after all these years, not quite as strong but it was enough that they came back to life now.
Shaking yourself out of it, your hand fell from his large one back into the safety of your lap. Koru shimmied her way in between you, looking for head rubs and you obliged with a smile, focusing on her. Cho's hands joined in your peripheral vision, petting down the fur on her back. The feline started purring loudly, letting you know she was enjoying the double attention a bunch as you held back a chuckle.
Blondie wasn't off the hook yet. Your plan was to make both of them lose their heads and this was just one small part of it. In trying to pretend with Cho you would get Enishi jealous enough to hopefully talk to you about why he was acting like the douchebag of the century and maybe about his feelings towards you. He reacted more than he spoke, so this was your only shot at luring him out enough for him to act on it.
You would also take the blonde where he least expects it to make up for the constant teasing, though you were still considering if you were swerving towards gentle or wicked payback with him. Not so sure yet, but it was all in due time.
Either way, it was a win situation for you and a loss for them for behaving like animals in heat, treating you like a mere prize to be possessed.
They say you can see the worst in someone if you push them to the edge of the cliff. That's exactly what you were planning to do to them. Slow, hard and tense. Just the way they liked it.
You want to play power games, boys?
I will bring the fucking revolution to you.
Just you wait.
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Twenty-four hours.
That's all you gave them to prepare for what they would never see coming.
You let them simmer, avoiding all contact with them. No cooking, no training and no sight of you around for the rest of the previous day. They went to each their own as you spent the day plotting your retaliation bit by bit, second by second, breath by breath.
They were on your land now, weaponless, rash and with a strong ballsy will to conquer it. Too bad they won't even reach the gates of your palace before you opened fire this time. Initiating phase one.
Getting out of bed, you headed for the heap of clothes stashed in your wardrobe and looked through it, smiling devilishly as you pulled out your secret weapon - a red and black corset mix of lace and satin mimicking a tank top. The red lace ran strident crimson against the layered black satin lines stitched overtop on the sides, from the hem all the way to the straps, tight as hell but hot on your upper body. A little fun project you let your hands wander over from scraps and basics you grabbed during your visit at the textile market.
Pairing it with black leather pants and a pair of flat combat boots, you went to the full-body mirror and took a good look. The outfit hugged your curves better than anything you've ever worn before, putting on display everything you wanted. Your hair hung in a luscious ponytail, high enough to whirl it once and catch someone around the throat with it. Perfect.
Time to get the wild hunt running.
Heading to the kitchen, your strides echoed in the hallway more sure of yourself than you've ever been. You grabbed a quick breakfast and sauntered outside with your humble companion, the jian sword with a red tassel. She's been sleeping in your room more than hanging back in its place on the walls in Enishi's office since you started bonding after she smacked your wrists multiple times. She left your skin painfully bruised but she gave you good lessons to learn from.
Taking to the spot in the middle of the garden, you sat in the patch warmed by the sun that still shone bright this late in the winter, just taking the light in and relaxing every knot in your shoulders. This is so nice. You held your palm out to it soaking the warmth in with closed eyes. Then you started training, waiting for the prey to come to you.
It wasn't long until the one of the felines caught your scent, coming to circle the perimeter in search of you.
The blonde hyena approached first, lurking by the kitchen window for a cup of coffee. Still in a slumber state, he paid no attention to the rest of the world or to you training outside, just a glance away, and went about his morning routine. He brewed his coffee the way he liked it, black with a lot of sugar in it and the tiniest drop of milk and stirred it well, taking in the smell of the steamed roasted beans that woke him a little. He lifted it to his lips just as he turned around to the kitchen window, coffee cup stilling mid-air before he even took a sip.
There you were - clad in red and black, hair swinging in sync with the red tassel on your sword, practicing what looked like advanced sword techniques. Leaning back on the marble island behind him, he took a sip of his coffee simply watching you, lips sobering up into a grin.
You moved about with the grace of a deadly cobra, a total contrast to the quiet small snake you used to be. A sense of pride filled him as he recalled how you used to doubt your every step, calculating them over and over again every mission you went on. Now, you stepped with confidence knowing exactly where your strengths laid, training with a weapon that was foreign to you entirely but knowing exactly where you wanted your blade to hit and how you wanted it to hurt. The lost, confused girl that tingled his senses years ago, was now a strong woman his heart longed for even harder.
His princess. It was part of the reason he called you that - the fact that you were still so committed to do good by vengeance in hopes it would help someone live in peace if you got rid of some of the scums crawling the earth like kings. And to tease you. Although, there was one more reason for it and one day, he'd tell you why but it wasn't time yet. Soon enough.
Before he knew it, he was on his way to the office, checking to see it was empty of a certain silver fox he despised with every single bone in his body, before he went in and grabbed the twin katanas he spotted a few nights ago. He rolled them around to get a feel of their weight. They weren't his twin katanas that got broken in a fight long ago, these ones much heavier and dull, but they would do for now.
You were taking a break on the ground, stretching your limbs around to release some tension when the blonde joined you. Confused at why he was carrying a pair of katanas with him and the fact that he wore preppy clothes, much more appropriate for training than waltzing around, his hair tied up in a small up-do peeking over his head like a pineapple, you threw him a look.
"Let's train together," he simply said, throwing you that cheeky smile of his.
One bites the bait.
Without a word, you got up dusting off the dirt and grass from your pants and got in position. He followed, twirling around the swords to show off at which you rolled your eyes, then put his right arm forward and his left backwards and you grinned, recognizing his point of combat hasn't changed - he used one sword for attacking and the other for defending, both probably stolen from Enishi's stash.
"Nice toys you got there," you nodded at the swords.
"Why thank you! I got them from your boyfriend."
"He's not my boyfriend," you gritted out, circling him around the sunlit path.
He lifted the sword in his right hand to eye level, tracing the blade down with the pads of his fingers as if to intimidate you or something. "You know, he does seem to act like that most of the time."
"What?" you stilled, lowering your sword.
What the fuck is he on about?
Pleased that his remark made you drop your guard, he turned his blade to catch a glint of the sun that temporarily blinded you before he charged towards you opening the sparring session with his right katana coming for a slash across. Cunty move. You defended with your jian, catching the rough blade with the edge of your own, pushing the attack back before he could send the other one towards you.
He stumbled behind to catch his footing and you couldn't help a small smile from dancing on your lips. He seemed to forget those weren't his katanas, way too unbalanced since they haven't been used probably ever for anything other than décor on Enishi's walls. Most of them were blunt, stolen or brand new, but none of them saw the actual battle beside his and your jian. They were different from his own by a lot of degrees, blades way too wide turning the weight heavier. As a result, he grappled with keeping them balanced as they constantly fell out of his grip. But being the renowned sword thief that he is, he solved that problem rather quickly and accommodated to them.
Giving them another swirl, his whole body turned in a spin that lifted the leaves off the ground. Then he came at you again more sure of himself this time to send a faster diagonal slash to your side that you barely avoided. You jumped backwards just as the other katana came down to strike you instead colliding harshly with your sword, pushing against it as he tried to shove you off your feet but you stood your ground.
"Why are you holding back, princess?" he sneered, teasing you without an ounce of strain in his voice. His constant pleasure pushed you to the brink of impatience.
"I don't want to skewer you just yet, blondie," you replied, flashing him a cocky smile before you rolled forwards in a tumble, letting his sword fall into the grass, getting stuck in a small muddy patch.
Before he was fully facing you, you threw your double-edged blade at him with precision. The speed of your attack had him throw both his katanas up in defense at every hit you delivered, diverting them left and right. Where you hit your blade high into his right, you kicked the other low with your foot, keeping the same drill going as you shoved him all the way into the open tree line at the back of the garden.
Another push from you had his back pressed against an old oak tree. He barely slid out of your range of attack just before your blade could meet his neck, getting stuck in the raunchy tree bark. While you struggled with getting it out, he disappeared and hid among the dense tree line, making himself completely invisible to you.
Plucking your sword out, you advanced through the half-barren path, dry leaves crunching under the pressure of your boots. You came to a small clearing checking for any spots he could be taking cover in then stopped. You'll find him when he wants to be found. Closing your eyes, you focused all your senses into action, listening for any noise that could pinpoint his location. You knew he was watching you from somewhere waiting for you to give up your searching and head back, so all you had to do was sit there playing dumb to lure him out.
A loud icy gust of wind blew in, rustling up the branches and a neatly stacked pile of leaves in a corner to your left. Disregarding it, you turned to the opposite side knowing that was his cue to charge at you. You moved to the left just as a sharp whoosh echoed by the tip of your ear, throwing your sword up to meet his attack blade. He brought down his other one swiftly sending you into a tree. You grunted as your back crashed with the bark, praying the rough edges didn't pull the stitch work on your top. One thread loose and I will end him in the name of fashion.
He advanced to you again looking to throw you off your feet with a swing, moves threading to get an opening somewhere that you weren't guarding well. If he thought you would go down easy, he sure was as dumb as a rock. You ducked out of the way, running towards one of the sturdier-looking trees and using the momentum from the dash, you jumped onto the bark pushing with the sole of your foot at the same time you swung your sword overhead, coming down onto him from above. A little trick stolen from Enishi. Since your aerial needed more work he caught your strike with both katanas tossing you to the side, back on the patch of open grass in the garden. You landed on the pad of your knee, sword balanced behind you to keep you from toppling over.
Aerial class with Enishi is officially suspended. He's lucky I don't pay for that. He'd have amazing reviews for sure.
"Someone's feisty today," he sung walking over to you, one katana swung over his shoulder nonchalantly like he didn't just haul you over like ten meters over.
"You haven't seen me feisty yet," you retorted, up and heading for his throat.
This time, you worked with a combination of slashes, using your smaller form and improved stamina to throw him off balance and prove a point. It worked, seen as he kept stumbling over his steps unable to keep up with you, but only for a while.
You were faster than him, much faster than he would've liked to admit without letting it affect his own pride. But he had the extra experience on the field. When your blade went to dig into his side, he pushed it away almost instantly, like he expected it, whirling around you. Your sword was half-way lifted up, ready to turn around and search for him, when a katana flew in your line of sight under your chin stopping just a few inches short of slicing your neck, the other following suit around your waist.
"Gotcha, princess," he whispered in your ear, stepping closer behind you.
He had you completely caged in his hold. The blades didn't sit too close to do any damage, but the fact that he pressed to you firmly from behind was enough to make your insides twist with flurries of all kind.
You could sense his amused smirk from the way his breaths fanned the back of your neck, which was already burning hot with effort, hair on your nape raising at the cool air and his breath. He was ready to throw you another remark when you caught him by surprise.
"Teach me," you breathed out, trying to steady your racing heart from giving anything away. "Teach me how to fight with two swords."
He chuckled under his breath, entertained by the idea. One of the blades lowered down, letting your middle free but your feet stayed locked in place, waiting for him to move the other away. Instead of that he took one more step taking him even closer to you and tilted your chin upwards with the hilt of one of the katanas. You shuddered at the sudden contact with the cold edge of the blade, squeezing your eyes shut to control the erratic beating of your heart.
"I can show you a few tricks," he spoke next to your ear low and deeper than his tone sounded on the usual, sending weird chills down your spine, then moved away from you just as a sigh of relief escaped you.
You put your sword down in the grass as he motioned for you to come closer to him. He placed the heavier katana in your right hand, knowing that was your main combat hand, and the slightly leaner one in your left. You tested them in a few swings, finding it difficult to push them forwards in a slash without dropping them. Those things are heavyweights. How the hell did he even spar with these? His twin katanas were a lot more lighter on hold than these.
Stepping behind you, he pulled your arms upwards horizontally so they sat parallel to each other, sliding his hands over your inner biceps all the way to your forearms. His warm fingers padded over your skin with electricity sparks in his dive down to lock his palms on your wrists, covering them completely. If he wanted to he could just snap them broken with one move.
Since he was taller and towered over you, you were pressed flush against his torso, the top of your head reaching just below his jaw. You could headbutt him and crack his jaw if you wanted to.
He moved you around in the basic one-sword positions to accommodate the feel of the blades in your hand. "You need to find balance and patience with them."
Lifting your leading arm for a practice slash to the side, you focused on the way he led the blade from the top all the way to the ground in all but one breath, followed by your rear with force pressing on your wrist as if you defended an incoming enemy blow, bending your arm diagonally with his own, moving as one.
His forearms stretched over yours entirely to better control the practice swings since you struggled to hold them by yourself, not used to their exertion on your muscles. You watched the ramifications of muscles on his arm move together in sync, willing yourself to focus on the blade in your hand rather than the way he enveloped your whole form.
"Treat them like they're your own hand extensions," he instructed, laying both of them over each other in a front cross for defense. The motion brought your bodies closer, your back almost fully in his chest.
Your head turned to the side to find his own already angled towards you, light brown eyes searching yours for something. He was so close, holding you in an embrace that felt dangerous but safe, awfully resembling those ivory statues of fallen angels around cemeteries that curled their wings inwards as if to protect something. You were aware that being this close to him was dancing on delicate grounds, both for yourself and for him. It wasn't good. Whatever this was it couldn't happen, thundered your mind. Or it could, argued your heart. I'm not doing that charade ever again, a thought that echoed just how torn you were. You loved that charade, yelled back a younger version of you that would pray at the moon for him to look at you like this.
Avoiding his eyes took a lot of willpower, but you managed to turn your head away from him looking for a distraction. Anything that could break you out of the trance he put you under again that spurred something way too fervent and filthy in your belly, before you said or did something stupid that you would regret.
Perusing the juniper grass around the garden, you let your eyes run free to any place that looked more interesting as if you haven't been in that garden a thousand times before. They went all the way to the outdoor table preoccupied with the sheet of material thrown over to protect it from rain when movement caught your eye in the alabaster kitchen windows. In a fraction of a second, your eyes flew there and stayed fixed inside, heart getting stuck in your throat.
He was there.
Watching. Steeling in the silence of the kitchen with his arms crossed over his broad chest, looking right at you. Not at the man behind you or the way he was holding you so dangerously close or the way he breathed the same air as you. At you.
He was yards away. Not in front of you or next to you. Yet the intensity of his stare alone made you draw in a broken breath, heart pounding unsteady in your chest with every beat that passed with him still sitting there, unmoving, gaze unwavering from you in the slightest. Goosebumps littered your whole skin, rushing from your nape down to your lower spine in ardent shudders, forgetting all about the man behind you whose arms still held yours in a firm grip.
A clenched jaw. For a good moment that was the only reaction you got from him. Then he did something completely odd - he smirked at you. A knowing, full, almost pleased corner of his lips tilting up in a promise of mischief and disaster kind of smirk. Of all possible reactions you expected, a fucking smirk like that one was not it.
You blinked once and just like that he was gone, probably aware of just what that insufferable smirk left in its wake because it made something pulse deep down inside of you, so primal and fiery like it sat dormant for an entire lifetime, waiting to set alight and rage only for him. Something that came alive every time those dark eyes were on you. A feeling that you loved and hated with your entire being.
Both of them took the bait, I guess.
But what the fuck was that?
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The cold evening rolled around sooner than you expected it to, without any other contact with the male species, surprisingly. You went to the kitchen, cooking up some dinner for yourself and Koru, letting your thoughts whirl with the ingredients you stirred mindlessly in the pot.
You couldn't take your mind off the way your taunts were received today. For one, Cho reacted exactly the way you wanted him to, running to your side absolutely ecstatic to join you in training. Getting so caught up in practicing sword wielding with him however, was a small unplanned detail that made your heart flutter. It wasn't part of the plan but then again, does anything under the roof of this house ever go according to plan?
On that note, Enishi's reaction was something you were unprepared for at all. Lurking in the shadows like a ghost stalking his victims, he just threw you that smirk as if he knew what your intentions were, where your plan was going. It gave you the eebie-jeebies and not in a good way. You stared at your reflection in the kitchen window, thinking so intently about how he stood in the same place as you that his stare flashed in front of you again like it was happening right now, making shivers cross your body on all sides. You dropped the spoon in your hand with a loud clatter that brought you back from your eerie vision, mumbling curses as you scrambled to get it out of the pot before it sank completely. You got it out with another spoon throwing it in the sink before the heat singed your fingers, then leaned your hands on the counter hanging your head to breathe a sigh of relief.
Jesus Christ, this house seriously needs an exorcism. I need to ask Wu for a frankincense delivery because it's getting too freaky lately.
The door to the kitchen opened and closed behind you, signaling that you had company. Turning around you were met with the blonde, a small smile of content on his face as he approached sheepishly and sat near the stove, a few inches away from you. He loomed over the pot, taking a good whiff of what you were cooking with his eyes closed - sausage and potato stew. His favourite.
Now this was by no means phase two of the plan. You didn't mean for it to happen, but it was the only edible thing you could whisk up with what little you found around the kitchen. A shopping spree into the village was way overdue, since apparently it's only your stomach who is hungry 24/7 on rotation. Definitely not the thirty bulky men lurking around the mansion waiting for food to magically drop out of the sky.
You had a hunch he would catch onto the smell and come running anyway. His eating schedule was as bad as Enishi's - they were either skipping meals to train or eating three meals at once like it was an olympic sport. There was literally no in between. Blondie however has been asking you to cook stuff for him at random times of the day lately, catching a liking to your cooking. Plus, you bonded a lot over food when you first met so it was no surprise he was inhaling the steam from the stew like it was opium smoke or something.
"Can I have a taste?" he asked in a tone so soft you almost cooed.
"It's not done yet," you replied pushing him away from the stove before he plunged his head in, stirring the pot some more.
You caught sight of the way he licked his lips, absolutely bewitched by the simmering food and you gave in. Who were you to deny a hungry tummy? Food tasted better before it was put on a plate anyway.
Leaning behind to get a spoon from the cutlery drawer, you stirred the pot with it and gathered a good spoonful from the side with some of the stew ingredients that looked cooked and some sauce. You blew on it, carefully lifting the still steaming spoon to his mouth with a hand under it in case it spilled over. He dove in and slurped the contents way too fast. This fucking idiot.
"MY TONGUE," he screeched, flailing about like a child, fanning his tongue with his hand as if that helped anything.
I refuse to believe he is the famed Sword Hunter. He belongs in kindergarten.
Some of the leftover sauce dripped down the side of his lips and before you could help yourself, your hand lifted to them, thumb swiping over the plump pink mounds from one corner to the other, tracing their outline as you gathered all the sauce on your finger. Mindlessly, you brought it back with the intent to reach your lips when your thumb was redirected back to his own lips.
You froze in his hold yet again, watching wide-eyed as his tongue slipped out to meticulously lick your thumb clean from bottom to top on each and every side, all while holding your eyes hostage to his honey orbs. Taking an empty gulp of air, you tried to keep your face composed, devoid of any sign that the scene before you that looked like a hallucination from the depths of your mind, affected you in any way. Because it did. You pressed your knees to keep it together, willing your heart to still in your chest and the throb between your legs to chill. This was not the time to get horny. Get your ovaries together, Miyu. You're better than this.
The kitchen door opened again with a crick, prompting you to snatch your hand away from the blonde's hold, stepping away to put some space between you. The feel of his soft lips trailing up and down your finger with his tongue lingered, only making it all worse. Curse men. Then your eyes flew to the door to see the gray-haired man sitting by the frame, face drawn in calm, tranquil disparity, devoid of any emotion, just looking at you with those dark eyes of his.
Damn, he's so emo today. Genuinely concerned, did someone piss in his tea this morning? 'Cause I would've liked to be first.
You were fully aware that he caught you in the act yet again. But why did it bother you so much? Why did it bother you that he wasn't reacting at all? Did he give up on the bet and winning you over? That was hard to tell. Either way it was nothing short of an oddity, seeing him stand there just observing playing some sick and twisted game alone in his head.
Weirded out and confused, you turned back to the simmering pot announcing the stew was almost done. The two walked to the table at the other end of the kitchen, taking a seat on opposite sides. They regarded each other briefly with a scowl, before they both turned to watch you work on the food.
Humming to yourself, you swayed side to side as you stirred the pot, stew nearing its boiling point. It was late evening, but your ponytail still sat high on your head since early morning, not one lump falling loose from it. Your apron sat snug on your waist, letting the red lace on your back be visible on purpose. Let phase two commence then.
The intensity of their stares carved a trail of open caves on your behind, each one digging his own personal hole with unsaid things in a dent of muscle they liked better down your back. You could feel the tension hanging in the air, zapping chills on your nape, but you paid it no mind for your own peace of mind because only god knew the dirt you imagined right now including both of the men at your back.
Enishi watched you, fist tightening under the table more and more with every sway of your ponytail that fell in sync with the sway of your hips. For some reason, that ponytail raised all senses of possessiveness in him. He wanted to pull that hair tie off and throw it into a fucking fire with every other existing band or fabric to tie it up, his only wish to let your hair free from its grasp and watch it cascade down your shoulders, wild and messy, just the way he liked it.
Cho's thoughts echoed the same pictures, though in a gentler, more sensual parallel. The blonde wanted that hair tie off too, thinking of how smooth your hair would feel with his fingers carding through it for hours on end as he drew patterns down your bare back and watched goosebumps rake your form.
That ponytail was their undoing.
Unaware of their thoughts turning as lewd with lust as yours, you focused on the stove. You thanked whatever deity makes you double the food quantities every time you cook because you had just enough stew to split it into three filling bowls.
Fixing the table up with the food and cutlery, you placed Koru's plate with her own chicken mix down by the marble island before you went to sit down at the head of the table, a safe distance from both of them. They waited for you to dig in first before they followed, a silent thanks giving for sharing your food with them. They were far from deserving of it considering how they behaved lately, but you weren't going to turn a hungry stomach away. You knew better than that.
The three of you ate in silence, tension gliding through the air in the kitchen uncomfortably, stabbing your exposed skin like a drifting torrent. Stolen, sneaky glances made their way to you but whenever you turned to catch them they were focused on the food in their bowls. Shaking the rigidness away, you pulled up a tactic to the table - playing with your ponytail.
Sitting back in your chair, you lifted a hand carding through the hair from the top of your makeshift hair tie, where it sat tight, with a languid stroke, falling to the base of it, twirling the ends around your fingers. Both males stilled, looking right at the way you worked around the length, drinking in every swirl of the locks glowing silky and luscious in the soft golden light above you. You had them wrapped around your fingers, their full attention not even on you but entirely on your hair.
The minute you let go of it, going back to eat the rest of your food, they grunted in unison at the loss of their visual stimuli. The sounds had them locking eyes, one pair dark and blazing with murderous intent, the other amused and light in teasing, both fighting each other in a battle with no clear winner.
Another point scored for me.
The rest of dinner was uneventful. You finished up on your food, getting up to walk to the sink and wash up everything. Cho followed right up, grabbing his plate and helping you put stuff back to its place to be done with it faster. You worked quickly with your new helper, since Enishi was rather absent from that role these days. Placing the last rinsed plate back in its cupboard, the blonde turned to you confused to see you with a cleaning towel.
"Let me do it," he reached out, grabbing the cloth to pull it his way.
"I can do it," you said, pulling it out of his grasp, back into your own.
"You sure?"
"Yeah. Thank you for the help," you nodded, sending a grateful smile his way. At least someone in this house was being helpful and not a killjoy.
Left with nothing else to do, he turned to leave when his eyes locked on the silver fox in the corner, still busy finishing his own food, but watching the interaction between the two of you, tongue poking his cheek, jealousy written all over his face. The blonde took advantage of his moment of weakness, spinning back to you in a heartbeat. Wide-eyed at his sudden proximity once again, you were about to ask him if he needed anything when he leaned down to your ear. The edge of his lips grazed the tip of your ear just like the did with your thumb, heart thrumming loud in your ears with his words.
"Lose the ponytail, princess," he said, voice dripping with sin twisting your insides together.
Satisfied with the lethal stare pointed his way and your puzzled look, he pulled away and turned around, leaving on his merry way. You stood there with a gulp stuck in your throat and cloth frozen in the air until the door shut closed, shaking you out of it. You turned to the island with the cleaning cloth just to get your breath caught in your throat for the millionth time today.
He was watching you again. That simple, infuriating and extremely loaded gaze he fixed on you rapped your pulse upwards, stealing your breath away. You couldn't avoid it no matter how hard you tried.
Say something, your eyes pleaded with him.
Anything.
Pure silence followed. None of you blinked or moved. A hopeful gaze from you. Nothing from him. Nothing at all. Just silence that cut through you like a sharp knife, willing you to fill it. But you had nothing else to fill it with. All your words spiraled in your head on a roulette but you couldn't pull the trigger on any of them. They were all too loaded, harsh, strong and heavy to be said or felt.
Stop looking at me like it matters, you shook your head in disappointment.
Koru's soft fur rubbed your leg bringing you back to reality seeing her walk out the door. Busying yourself as far away from him as possible, you got to cleaning the rest of the kitchen. You hated how easily he gave you icy chills and hot flushes simultaneously with just one damn look. You hated how your body soaked it in every time, like an addiction you could never lose. You hated how badly you craved his attention. You hated everything he made you feel right now.
Frankly, you stayed behind not for the need to clean, but to keep him company. You hated eating alone and he deserved at least that, even if you sat in different corners, to each their own, without as much as a word spoken between you.
When he was done with his food, he joined you at the sink next to where you worked on scrubbing the dried splotches of food from the stove. He washed his plate, rinsing it thoroughly, before he wiped it and put it back in its place. You finished on the stove and grabbed Koru's plate from the floor, storing the rest of her food away for later.
It was so domestic - how you worked around each other in the kitchen like it was a normal everyday occurrence. Although, now, your egos took away from the usual peace that came with it, the ritual feeling almost empty and tedious and not like something that relaxed you on the regular.
Turning on your heels, you came face to face with him, a hair's breadth separating you. Both of you just stood there, gazing at each other waiting for the other to make a move. His chest expanded, rising up with calm and collected breaths. Yours went rampant, trying to focus somewhere else that wasn't him. You were close to exploding this time. You needed to get to your room not stay here and play hooky with someone who couldn't talk.
For Christ's sake.
You moved away first, heading to the sink behind him to rinse the dirt from the cloth and place it back in its place. Passing by him without another thought, you rushed to get to the door, hoping to get out of there faster because if you stayed any longer you would implode.
You never reached the knob.
In one swift move you were lifted off the floor and place up on the kitchen island. In a heartbeat, the strong arms gripping your waist moved to cage you in their space, hips pushing between your thighs, opening them wider on each side. It all happened so fast that it sent your vision swimming but once you started breathing in the sweet musky jasmine scent, your eyes betrayed you, focusing on the perpetrator invading your senses.
From his long, slender fingers, your eyes started a long drive up the sinews of his forearms and the veins spreading in tendrils on top of them leading under the blue sleeves, taking notice of the angry twitch of dominance that made them more prominent as he leaned forward. Climbing up further, you took the crossroad to his shoulder instead of his chest, following the crinkled neck of his kimono.
That damn indigo kimono, matching the color of the darkened night sky behind him, that covered the whole trunk of his neck so chastely, leaving out just enough for curious wander. Your wander.
The things you wanted to do to that neck were for your lips to kiss and never tell. For your tongue to lick and drag over that lump in his throat and never stop. For your teeth to graze and bite until you had enough of him. Until all you could taste was him.
Averting your eyes from it, they landed on yours truly, falling down from that disheveled mop of hair you wanted to pull on without stopping as you devoured him, descending to those eyebrows drawn in vexation observing your shameless perusal, and finally settling on his eyes. Those eyes, pitch black obsidian blazing in the darkest fire you've seen, burning, staring right back at you. Luring. Tempting. Waiting.
Waiting for what?
Jaw locked tense, nose standing tall above the arch of his lips. Lips that haven't felt yours in so long. Lips your whole body has been aching for. Lips that were pursed in full control looking for something.
By the looks of it, he was determined to get something out of you by keeping you there in place on the cold marble. A reaction, a flutter, a falter. Anything that would tell him you gave into him tonight, even in the slightest, without as much as an effort from him.
And you took him in. The entirety of him. Stretching larger than you remembered him to be, broader than your closeness to his body could capture from this angle. This view alone made your heart pump a little faster, too fast to be normal, pushing you to drag an involuntary breath in. When you let it out, he spoke to you, for the first time in the last two days, taking that breath away from you just as quick as you released it into the air between you.
"You know I can fuck you right here if I want to, right?" he stated, his voice low and raspy, driving deep inside of you straight to the pulsing mound between your legs as he fixed your gaze.
I know you, echoed at the same time in your head.
That reminder was a constant voice in the back of your mind. That whatever you did with anyone else wouldn't fulfill you the way only he could. That only his voice could boil and melt the blood in your veins. That only his fingers could graze you on the inside and outside, both in sweet relief and anguish, separately and at the same time.
Your body craved to have him even now, completely enraged with him and willing to forget it for a while. To have him in every possible way that a mere mortal could, struggling to keep the control you worked up for the past two days to keep in your grasp.
It was bold of you to assume that a close encounter like this didn't make you feel anything, other than the slight tip of your foot downwards grazing the side of his leg.
But he was wrong to assume that you would submit to that powerful gaze like last time, even bolder to be certain that you didn't have some kind of advantage this time - the fact that you've denied him of you just like he denied you of him. I'll give you a taste of me. In my way.
Latching a secure hold on the front of his blue kimono, you kept his focused gaze as you undid the material around his middle with one swift pull of the loose, messy knot that kept him so closed off. Parting the sides away, you laid your hands flat against his abdomen. Agonizingly slow, you lead them upwards, feeling the depths of his toned form even under that heavy tank top you imagined ripping apart in so many different ways, reaching all the way to his ribcage. There, you felt him pull in a breath of his own, chest expanding open under your palms, holding the breath inside his pursed lips.
You caught him vulnerable, choosing to keep composed though the tick in his jaw told you he was close to losing it. The very breaths underneath your hands telling you that he was affected. You could feel his very heart at the tip of your fingertips, beating in a staggering rhythm.
It was your time to strike.
"Are you saying you don't want to," you spoke in a sweet whisper, smooth and saccharine like a shot of whiskey, as you trailed your right palm to the collar of the top, getting closer, under the unwavering gaze of his eyes turning a darker shade with your every move.
Your hands almost reached his neck. Cold fingers almost touched what looked like sizzling hot skin calling for your touch under the pale, small, flickering light behind you, when you saw something. So small but so unmistakable that if you blinked you might have just missed it. You might've been crazy, caught in the heat of the moment, but you definitely saw the slight bent of his head to the side, giving you more access to his neck, making that cursed vein more visible to you, uncovering it from the confines of the cotton surface.
You got closer, breath fanning over it dangerously close when he finally let a breath out. A full breathy, guttural, low groan. His hands gripped the counter edge harder, knuckles turning white in anticipation because in that angle he couldn't see you. He couldn't tell where you were taking this at all and he hated it. You could tell he did, smirking in satisfaction that you got him right where you wanted filling you up more than anything ever could.
And you stopped, removing your hands from his body, sitting back on the marble top, denying him once more.
The way his body recoiled backwards in response was a reminder that he had his shortcomings too. That he could act as dominant as he wanted, push you to the brink of insanity with as much as a stare, lay his touch on any inch of you he desired, but he couldn't put you out of the game. Him, of all people, would never be able to put your fire out. Because as much as he knew you, you started learning his ways too. You knew what made him tick, what kept him coming for more, what made his eyes sparkle with want. You knew him now. And it would take a lot more than this stupid game of his to make you unlearn all of it.
Though on the other hand, he did deserve a little token of, not appreciation per se, but a taster of what he was missing by being an idiot and placing a bet on your feelings.
So, you motioned him with your pointer finger to come closer to you. Hesitantly, he leaned down reaching your space again as you leaned up to his ear, tricking him into thinking you would whisper something else that would relay your desires to him in some way, only to bite down roughly on his earlobe, dragging it between your hungry teeth.
Once your lips were connected to his skin you wasted no time, moving from his ear under his jaw to lay eager open-mouthed kisses to the crane of his neck, quenching a thirst inside of you that was banished to the dessert for way too long. Finally savouring the moment you placed your lips on his skin like it was the last time you ever had the chance, sucking it hard and rough with the ravaging need of a wolf. This, was more for your own pleasure rather than his own, though it seemed to turn him on too.
His fingers unfurled from the edge of the counter planting themselves on each side of you, palms open fully on the marble top, greedy neck pushing into your lips to cover more, search more for the right spot, hips pressing into your lower body as he fell forward between your legs. He tried keeping in his grunts but the slower you went down his neck the less he could keep them inside. Struggling to abstain yourself from touching him, you lost that battle before it even begun.
Both of your hands sneaked under the blue kimono, going to his broad shoulders, gripping onto the bands of his tank top to pull him closer and move them under the material, feeling the mightiness of his toned body tense up under your palms. His pulse went rapid against your lips, grinning against his skin, relishing in the fact that you now knew you had the same effect on him that he had on you.
You sucked and nibbled relentless, hands climbing to his nape, fingers tangling in the curls at the back of his neck as you circled the whole area near that vein on the side of his neck, hearing him come undone inside with every grunt rumbling in his throat. But it wasn't where he needed you, the prominent, hard bulge in his pants tapping the inside of your thigh repeatedly, the more you drew him closer with your legs tangled around his waist.
If it was up to him, he would've had your bare stomach pressed against the cold marble, one hand gripping your jaw raw and rough as he bit off your lips, the other pulling your ponytail like a savage, fucking you blind by now. Rutting deep inside you, leaving his scent on every inch of your skin available on the outside, scorching every part inside of you that ached for him. Greedy and possessive like an animal devouring his prey.
But it wasn't up to him.
The power games shifted your way a while ago. You took his power away, rendering his bearings haywire and he didn't even notice. His power was fully yours now and you were willing to fight dirty and wild to keep it in your hands for as long as you wanted to.
When you felt his hand sneak up to your backside to reclaim some semblance control, you unglued your lips away from his neck, pulling away in a heartbeat. Like nothing happened. Like you weren't attached to his sweetest spot, teasing him just like he teased your own in the artillery room a few nights ago, playing his own game way more brutally and intense than he ever could.
Sitting back to get your breath under control, you took a good look at him this time. At his messy hair from how your fingers pulled on it, the side of his kimono falling from his shoulder unceremoniously, at the pale skin on his neck turning light pink from how hard you bit on it. His eyes were blown wide, still consuming the rest of the sensations you left on his skin, his breaths still running a lonely marathon that you abandoned bare moments ago.
"You're all talk and no action," you said, steady as you straightened your back and patted his chest, jumping off the kitchen island all in a beat, leaving him there scattered and defeated, exiting the kitchen with a wicked smile on your lips.
You made sure he knew just what he was up against the next time he even thought of playing around with you. He didn't give you the upper hand this time. You just took it before he even got a chance to win it. You made him see how it felt being manhandled dirty and raw, left at the height of it to deal with it by yourself, left bare and open for anyone to see.
He thought no one could dominate him, tame him, deny him. He was damned if he still thought that after tonight when he let all those supressed feelings show on his face. There was one person who could take him head on with absolutely no shame or remorse over their actions and it was you.
Mission accomplished!
Miyu - 2 points. Enishi - 1 point.
I could play this game all day.
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The morning arrived slowly, lazy like a warm embrace in the hands of the still winter. Birds chirped outside your window as you rolled in bed to face the white, warm sunlight, a smile of satisfaction sitting on your lips as you stretched your hands overhead.
Is this how kings felt conquering something after years of battle?
You felt like a winner after the events of the previous day, still streaming in your head as proof of your conquest, especially with Enishi. Replaying the way he looked in the kitchen last night, folded and open to your desire, had you feeling like you added extra years to your lifespan.
Koru climbed in your lap, purring in delight to match your good mood. Before you could bask too long in the positive and the gratification of your hard work, since bringing men to his knees was no easy feat, the weight of something unknown settled in your stomach. You couldn't really put your finger on it but something was growing in there, gnawing at you impatiently to figure what it is. Maybe it was nothing. Or you were just hungry.
Shaking it away, you got out of bed with a smile and went about your day as normal.
Training outside in the warmth of the sun by yourself for a bit, your feline friend keeping you company as she chased butterflies around the garden trying to catch them but getting distracted by other flying insects.
Cooking some food from the quick groceries Wu managed to get from the market in the morning before he left in a rush. Though it was not much, it was enough for the gang on the grounds.
Cleaning your room up, an overdue task that proved grounding and calming. You moved some things around and made space for a work desk adjacent to the vanity, right in the sunlit corner of the room, to stash all your spare materials and tools away.
Most of the day went on, doing things by yourself and for yourself, often joined by Koru, with surprisingly no man in sight to disturb you in any way - mental, physical or emotional. It was pure bliss, calm, serene. Absolute peace to yourself for once.
The afternoon rolled in slowly, finding you snuggled up with a book you found in Enishi's library. He had a bunch of romance works in there that no one would be reading anyway, definitely not him of all people, or the killing machines guarding the place. So, you helped yourself to the shelves, taking as many that piqued your interest back to your humble abode.
You let the large cream windows in your room wide open to get some fresh air inside, kitten settled in beside you, playing around with a spare ball of thread.
Reading away, you were deep into a really good part in the book when that feeling creeped up on you again. You didn't know if the words you read triggered it or not but something did because a familiar heaviness sat on top of your chest, a little tighter than earlier in the day. You massaged your chest in hopes it was just indigestion, when Koru looked up from her temporary toy, placing a paw on your thigh with eyes wide in alert. As if she sensed something was wrong too.
"I'm fine, little one. I think I just ate lunch too fast," you smiled in reassurance. The feline abandoned her toy and came to sit against you, letting the ball roll to the end of the bed finding you much more interesting than the whirly thread.
You tried to get back to reading but that sensation just persisted in your belly, stirring your guts up into stressed nodes. Every time you tried to get past that line your mind would pause and not take it in at all. You were on your third read trying to absorb it when the air chilled around you all of a sudden. Looking up from the book to the windows, you caught the beginning of sunset, setting down over the nearby hill in pale yellow colors, most of the light that pooled in your room gone with a beige hue. You got up to close them just as someone stumbled into your room, throwing your doors open with a bang that startled the living daylights out of both you and your cat.
"There you were," spoke the blonde, rushing to take his recently designated seat at the end of your bed. "I've been looking everywhere for you today."
I guess that was more than enough peace to last me for a year.
You made your way back to the bed, taking back your comfortable spot against the pillows. Koru gave him a toothy hiss for his lack of manners then plopped in your lap.
"I was literally everywhere today," you stated as a matter of fact, stroking her soft. "What's up?"
He turned around to face you better, goofy energy on his face turning mellow as he regarded you for a moment. The spicy ensemble you wore yesterday was nowhere in sight today - to his relief - replaced by a champagne-colored oversized shirt and a pair of navy pants. Your hair was braided messily, falling down your shoulder with a few strands loose, tied sloppily at the end with a piece of fabric matching the dark blue shade of your pants. You were dressed like you again.
Blue wasn't his taste at all, preferring the browns and reds much more on you since they flattered no just your features but your personality. But he had to admit this dark shade did suit you, comfortably chic and elegant. If anything, mophead's obsession with the color rubbed off on you too and in a rather good way.
"You're staring," you snapped him back to attention waving your hand in front of his face. "If I didn't know any better, I would say you're falling for me, blondie," you joked.
"Something like that," he replied, flirty smile back on his face.
You grinned in response, unaware of just what he harbored in his heart for the past few years. If only you knew. If only he could tell you.
Marking the page you were on before you closed the book and put it to the side, you gave him your undivided attention, blinking up at him with warm eyes that paired up with your small tight-lipped smile, the one that made your dimples pop and cheeks puff up slightly. If hearts could make louder sounds than simply thrumming with a beat, his would roar like a tiger on his way to challenge the king of the jungle, which he was currently doing anyway.
"Come on, be serious for once," you pushed his shoulder playfully, feeling your cheeks tint pink from the way he looked at you.
He hoped you couldn't tell what that look meant because that one look alone spoke of love - the unconditional kind, like it's always been there, twinkling in his eyes like a promise he couldn't make out loud. Thankfully, you thought it was just one of his very sarcastic ones, grinning back at him all-knowing but so far from the truth of it that he just let you believe it for his own peace of mind.
"Tell me what's so urgent that you turned the devil's lair upside down to find me."
He grinned back at you, chuckling at your choice of words. Whatever you were reading had you soften up into a romantic and it wasn't doing him or his heart any good. He peeked to the side raising an eyebrow as he read the title of the book laying on the safety of your pillow before you caught up to him, attempting to block his view.
"Wuthering Heights?" he leaned over you and grabbed the book, getting up before you could snatch it back from his hold. "Since when were you so lost in love that two people losing their minds over each other is your go-to read?"
How does he know about this book? From what I know he isn't well-versed in anything intellectual, including reading.
"Since when do you read?" you questioned, following him around the room to retrieve your book.
"Since forever," he hummed, avoiding you and your tiny hands at all costs, grateful that you were smaller in height but annoyed that it meant you were very fast on your legs.
He dove into the corner between the vanity and the work table, right by the window, completely covered away from you and opened the book. Your hands wrapped around his waist to tickle him but that sneak attack didn't stop him from looking at the small paper notes neatly stashed inside, hanging on the side of almost every page. Reading some of them, his eyebrows hit his hairline surprised by your opinions to every chapter he landed on. "You annotated this?"
"Yes, now give it back," you snarled back. Leaving your tickle tactic, you threw your hands around him to grab it but he turned away to the window ledge leaning over it in a way that he was bent over it and his back was fully blocking you. You muttered a string of curses under your breath, cussing him out for being so tall. "Fucking street lamp pillar."
"I heard that," he laughed.
He rushed to the page you were on a few moments before he broke in the room, pushing his broad shoulders around to keep you behind him. Eyes scaling the pages, he rushed to the last line you marked halfway read, reading it out loud.
"If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be. And if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger," he recited, word for word, his previous attempt at teasing turning into seriousness by the time he reached the end of the line and the words registered.
Feeling like he intruded on something too personal, he took another look at the sentence, memorizing it. Something just told him to. Then he turned around and gave it back to you, genuine sincerity present in his eyes. Taken aback, you took it and went back to the bed.
"Why are you here?" you asked, tired of games and eager to get back to the book, plopping back down beside Koru.
He replied to you with a question of his own.
"Remember the bonfire night a few days ago?"
The night flashed through your mind from beginning to end, spinning the cogs in your brain a little too fast that it gave you whiplash. You did remember. The slow dancing to the crackle of fire, the heavy drinking, the sword debates like it was your local sword club night, carrying two very drunk people to their rooms only to have them cuddle in the same bed. Even the small half-spoken promises made in the dark with a tipsy conscience. You remembered all of it.
I wish I could forget some of it.
"What about it?"
"I know I was drunk-" he started before you interjected raising a finger in the air.
"I would say more than drunk." He shot you a look that indicated he wasn't finished yet. "Okay, continue."
"Among other things, I remember you making a promise that we were gonna talk. About... you know. Everything?"
There it was. One of the rushed, painful promises you made that night. Your hand stopped petting Koru, luscious fur warming up under your frozen touch. Your heart fell somewhere in the depths of your stomach at the reminder that you indeed did make that promise and that it kinda expired the next day without you fulfilling it.
Cursing yourself, both for making it and not keeping it, you looked up at him only to see that hopeful look in his eyes again. The same look he's been giving you since you've met again. The one that wished to make your relationship better and clear up what happened in the past.
"I just want to make things right with you," he added, looking down in his lap with a friendly twitch of his lips, lost on what else to say.
Your own eyes darted down, busying with the design on the duvet, the maroon wooden floors, even the white swirling into golden motives on the walls as if you never saw any of these details before. You wanted to talk to him and clear things up too, but you weren't even sure where to start.
It wasn't stalling. No, not even close. There was just so much to go through and you knew starting somewhere, anywhere, would be good, but you were lost on what. On the unsaid feelings that were still there, deep in your heart, still keeping you awake at night because he never gave you a chance to let them out? On the fact that he left right before you confessed those very feelings to him or that you lost control that night killing a bunch of people in cold blood? Which one of these was a good, relatively positive conversation starter that said 'Let's be friends again'?
Then you felt that pang in your torso, making your chest feel heavy again. Was he the one making it heavy or was it something else looming over you, waiting to catch you off-guard?
You were about to answer him when an unwanted visitor cracked your door open just a notch. He peeked his head inside and looked at the way the two of you were perched on the bed with the cat wiggling her tail between you, having what looked like a heart to heart.
Before he started sending daggers to the blonde coddled on your bed way too comfortable for his liking, he remembered why he was barging in the room in the first place and looked at you with a gaze that spurred that tightness in your chest further.
"Sorry to interrupt your bonding session, but we have news." His eyes softened when they landed on you, sending the growing pit of worry in your belly ablaze as he continued. "It's about your parents."
Your heart dropped.
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You sat up abruptly, not wasting another second before you were swiftly on his tail as you followed him to his office without another word. The knots in your stomach churned and twisted in anticipation, and not the good kind that had you over the moon, but the one that could stop your beating heart as fast as a snap of fingers, wishing you could just teleport there and save up time.
Was it good news or bad news? was the main question running rampant.
If they were bad again, you were probably better off digging a hole into the ground and hiding from everything and everyone for an undetermined period. Your hopes were low to zero that it could be anything good in terms of the way most of your recent leads and missions went. But the urgency in his step kept the hope alive within you. Maybe it was something good this time around. So you kept that hope close, cradling it like a kindle that could go out on the smallest breeze, bracing yourself for whatever waited for you on the other side.
Wu and a few members of the gang were already sat in the office, waiting for the three of you. By the incognito citizen clothes, too shabby to be something Wu would ever wear freely out in the world, they definitely went out to gather information from places far more dangerous than the corner of the street.
"Master, madame," Wu greeted both of you, sitting with four of his men by the side of the desk, dejected looks on their faces.
You gave them a court nod, stopping in front of the desk, confused as to what was happening that required having so many people present. That and the fact that it might be really private information that was being shared. Whatever it was, it made that thing in your chest sit around your lungs like rope, tightening more with each passing second that no one uttered a word. Until Wu finally broke the silence halting the rope a little.
"We've been looking for the prisoner that escaped a few days ago. His name is Kenzo Hebi."
Kenzo the Snake. In all the years you've been graced by presence, you never caught his name. Or knew anything about him besides the fact that his wife was a leech just like him. But apparently he knew everything about you and your family, slithering into it enough to slowly destroy it. That name suits him entirely.
"Though we didn't find him particularly, we did find his boss. He's been working for the Daos."
The Daos you encountered back at the casino? If anything they didn't look like big bad mafia lords that a businessman had deals with, especially considering their shitty poker skills. But alas.
"The Triads?" asked Cho taken aback at the info. "What does a Yokohama businessman have to do with the Triads?"
Hold the fuck up. The Daos are part of the Triads? If Enishi knew that, he left out that part back when he briefed you for the mission. You threw him a look and as if he sensed your question, he shook his head that he didn't know that either. This was new information to both of you.
"How do you know that?" you asked the blonde in hopes he would elaborate and dissipate the common cloud of confusion.
"I have a few hatchets to bury with them," he crossed his arms on his chest, leaning backwards on the marble pillar behind him. His exposed forearms flexed in tandem with his jaw, a clear indicator he wasn't selling you doughnuts. He did have history with them. "I did some digging on them to get some leverage and found that they paid the Triads for security from time to time and they were occasionally trading arms."
Wu confirmed the information briefly before Enishi took over the conversation reeling it back to the main point. That man. The sly lizard that took everything from you.
"You may know him as a friend of your father's," he peered at you, noticing the way you scrunched your nose in disgust at the thoughtless pun, shifting on your legs impatiently. "But we caught him for an entirely different reason that night."
Speed-walking to his desk from beside you, he pulled open some drawers laying out a few maps on top of each other. You all gathered closer around them as he started explaining, trying to keep up with all the new information revealing itself.
"Besides that, he stole from one of our gun factories down the Eastern side of the Huangpu River," he pointed to one of the maps sketched to outline the exact settlement of the city of Shanghai. You honed in on it, recognizing the spot to be a textiles factory, about a few blocks away from the last place of refuge that you had to vacate, since the commander's troops were on your tail. Well, more on the tail of that one gray-haired criminal that you broke out, harbored, fed and now lived with. But anyway.
"The factory is kept under a textiles cover so the commander wouldn't question it." That made a lot of sense, especially since he checked all establishments regularly to make sure they had all the necessary papers to function.
"Anyway," he continued shifting some more paper around looking for something in particular. "While we may steal from other mafias sometimes, we do make a majority of our weapons there. Usually, people know better than crossing into our territory, but somehow that fucker managed to steal most of our stock."
"So you brought him in for questioning," you added as the story started piecing itself together. He nodded briefly still shuffling the pile of maps around, eyes grazing the ink without a break.
You would've apologized for nearly killing their source of information but he had it coming anyway. You thought back to the way you assaulted that man down in the basement as soon as he opened his mouth to talk nonsense, thinking he just happened to fall there as you were looking for your parents. As much as you hated to admit, it was a good outlet for your temporary rage.
"Yes, but as it turns out he's just one piece of a bigger puzzle." He shuffled the map he was looking for your way. You picked it up to see several places, all circled around the river in strident red ink - other factories, shops and even restaurants labelled with the names of other mafias, some of them that you've encountered on your own missions before.
Enishi handed you another map of the neighbouring cities, red circles turning into an overwhelming spiral of scarlet stretching across the rest of the country.
"It wasn't just us. They stole from every mafia on the mainland."
Stealing from every mafia and undercover at that without anyone suspecting anything? What could they possibly be planning that they would go that far? Unless... No. That wasn't possible. But all things on the table in front of you pointed to that.
"Oh my god," you gasped as the realization hit you. "They're making the gangs blame each other in order to start a war."
Enishi nodded, confirming your suspicions. But if this was happening already, like Cho recalled earlier, much, much worse was on the way. Things that could be catastrophic for everyone, not just for the crime world.
"But the triads haven't been around for that long. What could they possibly win from that?" asked Cho, voicing out your very thoughts.
"Mafias control a big part of trade, both imports and exports. By blindly gaining their trust and working under them, they can make a mafia crumble from the inside and take over it completely," added Enishi, leaning forward on the desk, eyes lost in the whirlpool of ink and paper. "If they abolish the mafias they gain control of everything going in and out of the country."
A coup d'état. This was way too much to process. Not just this but what told you that no traitor was lurking on the mansion grounds right now, right under Enishi's unsuspecting nose, watching your every move, eating the very food you've been cooking, hiding in the shadows until it was time to rat himself out. But then again the whole thing with the Triads was too complex. They barely got funded a couple of years ago and they already branched themselves out like a silent poison looking to kill and replace the systems that have been around for way longer than you've been alive. This was shaking up the natural order of things that wasn't even natural in the first place.
With all of this coming to light... there was something else you kept hidden. Something you haven't told anyone before since you didn't want it to reach the light of day in case it could put you on the radar again.
A few years ago, after the whole thing with Cho happened, you went solo again. Work was somewhat going well, you were getting jobs left and right, becoming the main person people called on for their long, insatiable, egocentric hitlists. You did the jobs, you got paid, you lived somewhat comfortably in a dusty old barrack. But as much as it was good business for you, it put you in the vizor of someone you never wanted to get involved with - the Triads.
At the time, you've heard stories of other assassins getting hired by them and they almost contracted you too back in Japan. You refused because working for them would've cost you every ounce of the freedom you barely had anyway. The triads gave you a roof over your head, fed you and trained you to the best you could be, but they took away every other semblance of humanity you had to make you nothing more than a killing machine, executing orders devoid of any conscience. A puppet to be controlled in their revolt against the state.
You refused them. Multiple times. Some of them involved taking your pistols out and you didn't just threaten anyone. But they got so persistent, hellbent on having you join them that it got to the point where they followed you, watching you on your missions, finding your whereabouts at any hour of the day, until you had enough and left the country silently.
That was the main reason you tried to stay under the radar when you came to Shanghai. You did your work under a different name, changed safe houses every few months, didn't get acquainted with anyone, doing everything in your power to try and erase any footprints that could lead them to you. Because anything pinpointing your location meant delivering yourself to them on a golden platter.
You lived your life in the shadows more than you wanted to, wishing it could all stop one day. The running, the hiding, the constant fear that someone was on their way to get you and drag you back into the darkness where she waited for you, since they definitely wanted Barairo, the crimson rose, not you. You wanted to fight them, let her out to destroy them every chance you got. But you didn't know what you were up against until now.
Coming back to the present, you tried to make sense of all the new, concerning details and what you already knew about the Triads, failing to see anything in this tangled mess relating to your mom and dad.
"Okay, but where do my parents stand in all this?" you let out the long-awaited question looking at Wu, hoping that he could finally spill what you wanted to know.
Were they dead? Were they alive? Did he find them or anything else that could lead us to them?
Instead of answering you, he peered over to the very man that called you over tonight. He was sitting in the shadows behind the mahogany desk with his arms crossed over his chest. His eyes were cast downwards, staring gaping holes into the maps, avoiding your curious ones at any cost, despite being the one who commenced this meeting in the first place. Something was off and very weird about it. He was always so collected, holding nothing back. Why was he on the defense so suddenly? Then he sighed. A long, stacked breath of air. Enishi doesn't sigh.
"What's going on?" you pushed, stepping closer to the desk, wanting to know why he was taking so long to talk.
He hesitated telling you, trying to push this dreaded conversation aside as much as he could for the past few weeks, but he had to. He was done keeping things away from you. He knew the risk - that he could lose you either way. If he talked, you would cave in on yourself, shutting him out completely. But if he didn't, you would have your suspicions and question him until you pried it out of him.
It was now or never. He preferred for it to be never. But it was time. He could be dishonest and false with anyone else. But not with you. Not when you put your trust in him for it.
Taking a deep inhale with eyes closed, feeling nerves grip him for the first time in a good while, he pushed it out with the exhale, guilty raven eyes looking at you with the weight of steel.
"Your parents had ties to the Triads."
Time stilled as the words left his mouth one by one. Not one soul moved. Yours froze and thawed over in seconds at just that one sentence. A sentence you never thought you'd ever hear in your life.
You struggled to process the words like he spoke in a foreign language you had no recollection of ever hearing or speaking before. They rolled over and over in your head, brain working overtime in turning each one back and forth, until they started registering sharp and clear and as they did, your knees went weak with their weight. Those horrifying seven words echoed again with more impact this time, ears ringing as you scurried backwards away from the desk to get yourself seated on the couch somehow, so you wouldn't crumble in front of everyone.
Your mind ran empty of everything, nausea making her hideous presence felt so deeply in that pit in your stomach, setting fire to the incessant bellows of worry that ate at your peace little by little all day. Your eyes weren't even focusing on the worried pairs of eyes gathering around you, one more concerned than any of them kneeling down before you. He spoke, getting you to focus on his words but they weren't what you needed to hear at all.
"There's something else you should know."
What more could be worse than this?
"Our meeting wasn't a coincidence."
What?
"I know that they tried to contract you," he continued, giving you no time to think straight. "They've been looking for you."
"How do you-"
"I've been watching you for a while, way before you moved in. We've been looking for any leads on the guy and stumbled upon the Hikari name. One clue led to another and I found you."
Your eyes darted to the ground away from him, grinding your teeth with newfound anger, trying to keep your temper under control. He hasn't talked to you in days, not one single word save for the heated interaction you had last night in the kitchen. But the one time he does talk is to chirp like a fucking canary that he played Judas with you.
He lied to me.
All this time, he didn't want to take me in. He never wanted to train me. He wanted information from me. He wanted to know if I was involved in this godforsaken world in the slightest.
All this time, I was a pawn in his game. He was right. I really was just another stray he took in. I've been so stupid.
Forget the stab in the back for now. Your parents were your main priority here, no matter how much this hurt. You focused all your leftover energy on them since you might have a safe shot at finding them. Even if that meant keeping your alliance with the devil sitting right in front of you, still playing angel in disguise despite everything he just told you that he's been hiding from you for months. Wasting any more precious time, like this, was signing their death sentence.
Feeling the repercussions of his betrayal came later, you told yourself to ease the ache a notch. For now, you'd keep your own feelings at bay and fight for your parents. For now, you'd keep the anger inside just a little more.
That was until he chose to open his mouth again.
"Are you okay?"
You've got to be shitting me.
"Am I okay?! You're telling me that my parents were somehow involved in organized crime and expect me to be okay?! Do you realize how fucking insane that sounds?" you threw a hand through your hair trying to make sense of anything in this mess. It sounded ridiculous even as you said it out loud yourself. "T-they were tailors, they weren't bad people."
"I know it sounds difficult to believe, but Wu ran the information and it checks out," he added, as if your world wasn't barely standing straight already and some more truthful angst would do the trick to tilt it over fully. Fucking amazing.
You weren't going to believe it at all until you sat thinking for a good minute, going over your last interactions with your parents years ago, and certain things became way too clear in your head just like idea bulbs. Or trauma bulbs in this case.
The way that snake threatened them every time he came to the tailor shop. The fact that your parents had a lot of foreign clients coming from outside of the city, all the way to some tailor shop in the middle of practically nowhere. Or that you were living comfortably, homeschooled, safe, unlike the rest of the district that was in peak war age.
It all started to make a whole lot of fucking sense.
"Their clients, the expensive textiles they imported, even our house," your head dropped to your hands as it all became crystal clear in a messy mix of truths you couldn't swallow past that lump in your throat. "None of it was really ours was it?"
"I'm sorry," he rubbed your arm trying to comfort you, even though he knew nothing could actually bring you peace, especially coming from him after everything he just told you, after he lied. "But they weren't bad people. They were just whisked away in the midst of it all."
"Does that mean we can't find them?" you asked, hating the way your voice broke on the last word.
"On the contrary," he turned up a smirk, just like he did whenever he knew something helpful. A solution out of the hell ride you were slowly buckling into. It somehow brought you some hope that things weren't as fucked up as they seemed. Though you highly doubted that.
"If they are affiliated with the triads, even in the smallest, we have a chance at finding them sooner than we think."
A chance. That's all you needed. Even the smallest of hopes in the biggest pile of all this fantastical fuckery would do you good right now.
"There is someone who knows enough about their plans to send them to the pits of hell if he wanted. We arranged to meet with him."
Okay, that's great. A possibly wanted man wanting to meet with the leader of one of the mafias who could have him killed or put him out in the open to the Triads for them to get him killed first? Highly unlikely.
"Why do I feel like there's more to that?"
"It took some persuasion, but he agreed to meet us in the worst place possible. The Shanghai Club."
"You've got to be joking," exclaimed Cho, finally joining the conversation since his own ass could be in danger now. "That place is crawling with the commander's troops and triad members."
"That's why I said it's the worst place possible," added Enishi as a matter of fact, turning to look Cho dead in the eye.
Ignoring their bickering, you gave it a thought. You had a safe shot at finding your parents this time. Sure, it could end up in a bloodbath no one wanted to wipe clean after, but you were willing to take it.
No more waiting. No more looking around to find fairy tales from random henchmen caught red handed with information that was common knowledge in their world. It was time you decided what you wanted to do and right now that was following your incredibly twisted guts. If you had to dive into that hell again, then might as well do it on your own terms. 'Cause the first time went fantastic.
"When?" you simply asked.
"Hold on a second. You're not actually thinking of going are you?" asked Cho, though it wasn't really a question and more of a statement that he would get in your way. "That's a suicide mission."
"I have to," you played with the hem of your shirt, trying to calm a shrill of tremor climbing up your hands. "They're my parents, Cho. I can't just leave things like this. Not now when we have a certain lead."
You turned back to Enishi with hopeful eyes finding his own still on you, waiting for your answer. This was probably the last thing you would trust him with ever. "It is certain this time, right?"
He didn't hesitate to nod his head, a genuine want to help passing through his eyes at your question. Good.
"If we're going there, we're gonna need new outfits!" you chimed, trying to find a way to get out of the room before the walls would cave in on you and someone took notice of the unnatural way your hands started shaking. That knot in your chest tugged at you more insistently now with the heavy tension in the air and the multiple pairs of eyes watching you with pity, the one thing you hated the most in the world.
"I want both of you in my room later," you added, nodding at the two men that would accompany you. You only registered how suggestive your words sounded after they left your mouth, all eyes in the room staring at you widely, only adding to your discomfort. Men.
"To get you sized and ready, obviously," you clarified and with that you shuffled off the couch and left in a hurry without looking back.
The two males exchanged a look, trying to make sense of your behaviour, expecting a different reaction to all of this, not you being ready to stitch and sew outfits in the dead of night. The blonde shrugged in response, lost on what to think anymore, more preoccupied with finding an escape route of this. But something about your reaction rubbed the other one wrong, watching your back retreat out the door with growing nerves himself.
You walked this hallway so many times before. But right now for some reason it seemed to stretch longer, wider, walls tilting in on each other under the weight of gravity. Each step on the creaky wooden floors made you jump in fright, the trepidation of your heart louder than the constant ringing in your ears, heavier than the bile gradually rising in your throat.
Taking faster strides to reach the familiar tall oak arches, you pushed the doors to your room open. Going straight to your work desk, you pulled out all the materials you could find to start working and get your mind off things. Pacing around from corner to corner, unable to locate the cushion of needles you always, you ran to your vanity as your heart pumped faster. You searched around and messed up the recently organized drawers, throwing things on the ground behind you, hands shaking with anxiety only to find the damn cushion nowhere in sight, more worry gripping you.
You took a look at yourself in the mirror, staring at the dim orbs that resembled your mother's eyes. The faces of your parents flashed before you, standing next to each other in a tender embrace, expanding that painful throb in your chest.
What if I will never find them? They were gone for so long. There might be no trace of them on earth anymore. That simple thought made each breath your lungs took harder to call inside, taking you even longer to let them out. Your vision darkened, a new wave of dizziness throwing you off balance as you grappled with your breathing that was slowly going out of control, coming out in shorter pants and wheezes.
Panic filled you from that annoying pit in your belly, stretching upwards inside of you to grab onto your neck as if to strangle you for ignoring it for so long. To make you pay for every missed chance of finding your parents. For every connection you built on blind, broken trust. For every life you took that probably didn't even deserve it. For following the worst of devils on earth fooling yourself they would save you. For being a failure in every fucking way and not being able to do one thing right by your parents, by the people you cared about, by yourself. For everything you did, for all you were doing and for everything you will do. You lost the fight. You let your own personal inferno come alive.
I warned you, a voice echoed inside of you head, dark with malice and death. You leaned your hands on the vanity table, your whole body trembling, spasming under your weight that seemed unbearable to keep on your own two legs, struggling to stay upright. This wasn't happening. This couldn't happen.
Not right now. I can't lose control now. Not when I'm so close to find them.
You caught the glimpse of a silhouette in the vanity mirror, entering your room in a haste. Maybe it was death remembering you existed, finally coming to take you away as payback for avoiding its call to hell so many times that it found it amusing and let you simmer until you finally broke yourself. The devil surely loved the sinners that did it to themselves the most.
The shadow moved behind you, looking less like a demon from hell and more like a human being the closer it got to you. Maybe it was one of the angels still around you, fighting for your redemption against all odds telling it you couldn't be saved. That you didn't deserve the saving.
Whatever or whoever it was, they called your name with a voice so angelic, like a dream was playing before you in slow motion. A tone so holy that you could trust it to take you anywhere it wanted to, whether it was heaven or hell. It might have been your hallucination kicking in as you were falling apart. It tried to get your attention but they seemed so far away. So, so, so far away from the abyss you had one leg inside. Until their arms wrapped around you, secure and supportive, stable and safe. Maybe it was your mind cooking up nonsense, but you felt that hold on you like someone was actually holding you for real.
Their secure firm tightened around you just like the panic pressing down your neck sending you into sensory overload. You refused to let go of the vanity table, your only anchor to reality, digging your hands into the wood so hard your nails chipped at the edges. A hand came up to your cheek, cupping it gently to turn your face towards them. You stared at the blurry blob in the shadow morphing into a face, slowly becoming clearer in the haze. Their mouth that moved with a voice so angelic before turned into a velvety demonic sound, words finally making their way to you, drilling loud into the quiet.
"Look at me," he demanded, tone warm and steady to get you to focus on him.
Him. You needed to get away from him. You couldn't be near him right now. He hurt you. He broke your trust after you gave it to him with everything you had. All your secrets, your pain, your heart, all of it laid out on a silver platter. He took all of it and threw it into the fire, sitting on the sidelines without as much as looking back to see what was left of you as the ashes scattered away. He used you. He didn't need you. He's better off without you, that voice pushed again.
"Go away," you croaked out trying to shove him off, even as your hands shook uncontrollably and your knees locked in place.
He only held you tighter to him, musky scent you loved so much turning into a burning ash stench as you struggled to inhale any speck of air inside. You slumped against him pathetically, still holding the vanity in a death grip, refusing to let go and give up control. Give it up. Let me out. I can take care of him.
"Look at me," he commanded this time, demanding your attention. Moving anything was taxing, but when your blurry eyes brimming with tears finally caught his, willing him to let you go, he just wouldn't budge from beside you. "I need you to breathe, Miyu."
No, you don't. You need to let me out, she hissed so loud, sending your thoughts haywire.
You choked on a half-sob, trying to get air inside. You were trying. God, you were really trying.
But each haggard, piercing drag of air you ran after slipped further away, turning your chest into nothing more but a lead carcass, just as heavy and constricting as the barrel of your pistols must feel for a bullet. You shook your head, more tears spilling over your cheeks.
"I c-can't."
"Yes, you can."
He worked to loosen the grip of one of your hands on the edge of the vanity table, successfully plying one of them free. He placed it against his chest, letting you feel the beat of his heart, alive and working. He was real. So, so real. A lot more real than the voice in your head. You felt his chest expand under your palm, up and down, his own breathing calm and normal, alternating in rhythms. You tried to follow it in one brave, sharp intake of air but all that did was send needles to your own chest, pushing a pained moan through your throat.
You were drowning. Your heart was beating way too fast for it not to explode any minute. Your lungs weren't working with you. You were ready to accept it and sink into it, ready to let her do whatever she wanted and lose yourself, when his forehead pressed into your temple to keep you tethered here, keep you with him, keep you fighting. He was damned if he let you give into it right now.
"Please breathe for me," he begged, eyes blazing in a frenzy, trying to keep his own breathing stable so you could follow it.
Enishi Yukishiro didn't beg for no one.
The desperation in his voice scared you. It told you he would raise bloody murder to the entirety of the globe if you dared to let go right now. You didn't come this far for nothing. Your struggle wasn't in vain. You still had so much to fight for.
You swore to help him avenge his sister. He swore to help you find your parents. You couldn't let go now. None of those promises were fulfilled yet by either of you. She definitely wouldn't fulfill them. She would kill him before she even took her first step out of that cage. You couldn't let that happen. You couldn't let her. Oh, but you could, she taunted caressing those iron bars with sweet temptation. I will die before I let you touch him.
You tried a few more breaths but they barely went in, crunching the material of his kimono in your fist, pushing your lungs to work with you and take a fucking breath. Pathetic. Frustrated and defeated with yourself, you cried out wishing for a miracle when he spoke again, picking up the very broken pieces of your heart that he shattered with his own two hands, attempting to put them back together.
"I don't regret finding you. I don't regret taking you in. I don't regret anything we've done together. You're not alone anymore. I'm not alone anymore. I like having you around."
Letting his fast mix of jumbled words wash over you, you dug deep into the abyss clutching your heart and your lungs harder with each passing second, looking for a way out. There's no way out. There is always a way out. There had to be one even now as your world seemed like it was ending.
"I need to have you around, Miyu. I promised you I'm not leaving you. I'm here. I'm right here."
You tried again and again and again and again and again. You ran and ran and turned around in the pitch black of your mind that was shutting down, aimlessly looking for a speck of light to lead you out.
"You're strong enough. Come on baby. Breathe with me."
His voice became your saving grace in that moment. He became the surge of light you needed to follow in the darkness. With each word a brighter speck of that light lit it up, making it go back to its place away until it was unable to touch you. Until you couldn't hear her anymore. She was gone.
After what felt like forever, listening to his endless pleas, feeling his heart beating under your trembling hand and his touch holding you close, you were breathing. Somehow, the more you tried more air was finally available to you.
Leaning on the vanity, half-supported by him, you took more air inside like you were taking your first breath in the world, unaware of all that was waiting for you. That first inhale was raw, the large gulps that followed stabbing your dry throat as if knives had a parade inside its walls, fully aware of all that you've already been through. Fully aware that this was only the beginning. But you kept going.
His other hand came to sit around your waist, rubbing circles into your hip, small and large matching the rhythm of his breathing so you could focus and follow it as a guide.
Slowly, the breaths you took went down into your lungs deeper each time, filling them up with much needed air. The bile that rose in your throat went back inside. The chaos in your soul went quiet again with him by your side, holding your hand in the center of his chest the whole time. His fist closed over yours like a safe, guarding it there on top of his heart, not once letting go.
The darkness in your vision cleared a bit, leaving just a few dark spots lingering as you focused on the creature in the mirror looking back at you, resembling you. It was you - paled over, looking like a ghost, shaking like a leaf in the wind, held together by the man beside you.
Your hands stopped shaking, receding to an occasional tremor. Your heart still thundered wildly, still agitated from the thrill. Lifting up the hand you held onto the vanity table to test your balance was a bad decision. The moment you took it away, your whole balance left the safety of the wooden block and you swayed to the side, knees buckling under the sudden movement. But he caught you before you could fall into a pile on the ground.
"Fuck, stay put will you," he rumbled, gathering you in his arms to carry you straight to the bed.
He let you down on the mattress gently, placing you against the pillows and sat down next to you, taking your hand in his. His fingers settled on your pulse point, relief washing over him that it was slowly coming down from the high you were on. He did that a lot as you trained, chastising you about keeping yourself at a normal rate since he discovered you were prone to dizzy spells. Even Koru climbed in the bed, sensing something was wrong and nuzzled your thigh in comfort as you took a few more breaths in, this time to stop the leftover palpitations.
Reaching out to touch the side of your face, he swiped at the leftover tears that were still falling free. His fingers brushed away the hair sticking to your face as you focused on clearing the heavy weight in your chest, loosening apart that tight rope breath by breath until you couldn't feel it there anymore. It was gone just as fast as it came.
He cupped your cheek, drawing your eyes to him. His creased brows and the tension in his hold told you he was still worried. You didn't want to, but you leaned into his touch, almost naturally welcoming his comfort and to soothe both of you someway.
"Thank god I found you before something worse happened."
I didn't kick the bucket yet, you swine. And if I ever do, it won't be under your roof.
Feeling too self-conscious, you looked away from him, gaze falling on the mess you made in the room when you barged in, from the carpet around the vanity littered with all kinds of trinkets, darting to the heaps of fabric on top of your work desk. He followed it, a knowing look replacing the worry on his face. You still wanted to put yourself through working on those damn outfits right now.
"You need rest. Those can wait until tomorrow since the meeting is two days from now," he reassured you. "You have time."
"I'm fine," you said, frowning at your scratchy throat.
Were you saying that for him or for yourself? That didn't really matter right now. What mattered was doing something that didn't let you sit and overthink once your mind caught up to you, though it would take a while since it still felt like cotton was pushed around in it in every corner.
"If you didn't just have a panic attack," he started, handing you a glass with water from the pitcher on the nightstand, "I might have just believed you."
"I don't need your worry," you retorted, sitting up to drink the water.
"You're resting. Not up for discussion. If you as much as think of putting a foot out of the bed for anything other than going to the bathroom, I will have you tied to the bed."
"You can't do that."
"Watch me."
Too tired of this back and forth, you turned around to the other side, feeling furious. He treated you like a child in need of a time out session. Well, he might as well watch your backside for all you cared. You were too exhausted to throw a bigger tantrum right now though he did deserve to hear the end of it.
He stayed with you, absorbing the resentment seeping off of you. He deserved the cold shoulder. He wanted to come clean so many times before but there was always that doubt telling him that it would rip the bond you had at the seams and nothing would be able to fix it. He cared about the connection you had. It was the only real thing he had left. He cared so much that keeping things away from you proved harder as time went on.
When Wu walked into his office in a rush this afternoon and told him what he found out, he knew it was time to atone for it. Even if that meant hurting you in the process. Even if it meant you would be mad at him for the rest of your lives.
Dragging a hand over his face with a small groan at his own stupidity, he let his eyes fall on you, taking notice of the steady rise and fall of your back telling him you fell asleep. He got up and draped the covers over you before laying one of the softest kisses on your temple, his silent promise of protection whenever things went wrong between you. That you always had a place to run to when you needed it. Even if you didn't want it anymore, he would always welcome you. Wait for you.
"I'm sorry," he whispered against your hair, taking in the warm rosy scent of it to settle the guilt swimming in his gut a little. "I will explain everything to you soon."
With that he got up, turning for the door. He creaked it open then turned back around once more, spotting the dark ball of fur already laying by your side.
"Make sure she rests," he told the cat who just meowed at him in response, cuddling closer to you with a loud purring noise.
And now he was talking to the cat.
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The dawn of a torrential downpour roused you from sleep. The sky ripped open, angry raindrops rapping against the glass violently mad as if to break inside. The wind hastened, howling nature awake. Lightning crackled bathing the room in bright white, followed by the deep rumble of thunder thunder reverberating so loud it shook you awake. It couldn't have been earlier than five in the morning, the world still dark and gray outside your window.
The beginning of a painful headache graced you, throbbing in pace with the heavy rain, splitting your skull at the crackle of lightning. You rolled around the bed on heavy limbs, hand aimlessly tapping the nightstand looking for the water pitcher. With a struggle, you pulled your body up in a sitting position only to frown at the lack of water on the cabinet. Both the pitcher and the glass on top were empty of even the smallest drop of liquid. Great.
Scrambling to the edge of the bed, you held your head, trying to get it to focus on the task at hand - getting water. If you had any chance of getting back to sleep you needed it. Something pawing at your feet grabbed your attention. Koru. She sat there, looking at you with those round balls of bright yellow glowing in the dark, meowing. You moved your leg away only to have her paw at it again and sit on it, meowing louder.
Not you too, you sighed.
You leaned down to give her a soft pet on the head for her caring nature, looking back at the empty glass with a long sigh.
If only you could bring me water, little one.
Suddenly, she got up from your feet and sauntered out through the small crack in the door. You would've followed her if it wasn't for the nauseating feeling rocking you like a boat on a furious sea. So you sat back in the middle of the bed, holding onto your head.
A few minutes passed, rain falling harder against the windows, headache turning into a full-blown migraine. No amount of massage or pressure from your fingers or rolling around the bed in different positions could cure it. Absolutely helpless, that's what I am.
The door cracked slightly ajar. You paid it no mind thinking Koru came back from her spontaneous stroll. Instead of a meow or paws paddling the floor to reach you, you heard lean steps, the rattle of glass and the sound of liquid flowing from one recipient to the other.
The bed dipped in front of you with a weight heavier than Koru's. Confused at who it could be this early, you let your hands fall from your head to look up and find a surprisingly awake Enishi holding out a glass for you, filled with water all the way to the rim.
You took it without a second thought, gulping down the whole thing in one breath. It went down your throat so rough but so soothing, getting rid of the stabbing dryness coating it. Asking for another, he went to pour it as you wiped the leftover drops hanging on the bow of your lips. He handed it back to you sitting back in his spot, joined by your dear black fur of ball that nestled by his leg. Turns out deception runs in the family, you thought, watching the two bond over keeping you in bed at any cost.
Glass back on your nightstand and throat somewhat better, a pang of pain returned, sending you to lay back down under the covers. You hoped you could find some comfort now that you had some water. Wordlessly, he got up and tucked you better under the duvet, drawing it up your back all the way to your nape. He spared one more look at you, cuddled up to sleep with the feline and left, closing the door fully this time, taking the small flicker of light he left you with away with him.
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The next time you woke up, it was almost lunch time. The dark storm in the early morning left quietly, but the sky remained dull, devoid of any other color but gray. Just like my soul. The sweet smell of food wafted into your nostrils on barely the first conscious inhale of breath. Your stomach instantly grumbled at the delicious scent, only for you to turn in bed and find said food on a plate on the nightstand.
Blinking away the sleep from your eyes, you sat up examining the contents of the plate - dorayaki pancakes. As big as the palm of your hand, neatly folded at the opening and round with a bunch of filling. His apologetic pancakes. Huh. What is he playing at now?
Reluctant, but hungry, you took a bite, letting the berry jam filling melt in your mouth. He left you orange juice too on the side, tasting refreshing after the sweet brunch. If only his personality was this sweet all the time, though that was a stretch knowing him.
You felt better, either from the multiple sleep rounds you took or the pancakes. Not at one hundred percent, but still much better than you did last night. You had a long list of things to go through - talking with you know who, talking with blondie, a whole lot of talking. But for now, you had enough fuel and energy to get down to work on the outfits for the meeting at the club that was in less than forty-eight hours. Yours especially.
You changed out of yesterday's clothes and picked up some of the mess around the room. Finally sat down at your work desk, you browsed through the materials you had available - red satin, burgundy velvet, indigo satin, some green cashmere and black chiffon. A goth lover's dream. Blondie was right, that book did take a toll on you, among other things.
All things aside, red was your color. You always wore red, no matter the occasion. Even if it was just an accessory, like your mother's pendant that was on you at all times. It was you, in either shade or material. Blazing like a flame on its way to eat half of the world if as much as one gust of injustice blew your way. Crackling to a strong kindle if you were sputtering out in the cold of uncertainty. Drenching everything crimson if you needed to protect something.
You breathed red.
Unfortunately for you, you were left without scraps, only with new, untouched rolls of material, which meant you had to start from zero. You were good at stitching two or more different pieces together, reworking them into something new, but you never worked on something from beginning to end.
Working with a blank canvas was your mother's specialty. You never understood how she just visualized a client's order in one whole standing piece, full of detail and precise flair. The most you ever did from zero was a pair of pants that you had to wear backwards for them to work and not look weird. Sketching wasn't your forte either, much more your father's talent. You did know weaving, stitching, knitting, embroidery, anything that was a basic technique with textiles. But everything else was pure luck of the moment if inspiration somehow happened to hit you. Let's look for some inspiration then.
You walked to the wardrobe in the other corner, pulling it open to look through it hoping to find it there. Scanning all the heaps of clothes, your eyes landed on the dress you made for the ball a few weeks ago - the revamped wedding qipao. Enishi's shocked and appalled reaction flashed in your mind recalling the way you walked out in a new rehabilitated rendition of his expensive golden kimono and that cursed qipao. Chuckling to yourself with a pat on the back at the idea, you studied it a little, feeling like it was too on the flashy, gown side to be reused again, especially for a club. High society clubs required something classier, light, somewhat hot, but modest and combat appropriate all in one. Not a huge checklist at all.
Spreading out all the fabric and some clothes from the wardrobe on the floor, you sat in the middle, looking at all of them. Then you closed your eyes, willing the gods of creativity to give you some. You took a few deep breaths, focusing on visualizing a dress and some details, hoping something would pop into your head if you tried hard enough. Come on, brain. Work with me. After a while, you opened them back up, frowning at the mess of fabric around you with still no idea. That usually worked, especially if it was mission attire. Before you could get up and scour some more, a distant memory hit you like a truck.
A long, long time ago, back in Yokohama, your parents had this really stylish lady as a client. She came in one day, at the recommendation of a friend, looking for a dress for an overseas event. Her specs had some of your current requirements, heavy on the classic, save for the combat and hot features off the list. Your mom worked weeks on that dress, getting it as perfect as it could be. When the lady came by to pick it up and tried it on for one last fitting, she was stunned. The dress fit her like a jewel meant just for her, putting her uniqueness on display like she was part of the royal family.
You yourself fell in love with that dress, asking your mother to make it for you time and time again only for her to refuse. "I will make you one, far more beautiful than that one when you grow older, my little light," you recalled her saying softly.
Well, here I am mom, making it myself.
Grabbing the satin, your usual go-to, you measured the fabric and layered it in the shape of a skirt on a mannequin you bought from the village, measuring the exact diameter of your waist and hips. Marking the start of it, you pinned it to the dummy and worked down the hem line, drawing the drop bigger, pinching the material from top to bottom with needles.
Then you tugged the velvet open, working some of it in the shape of a bodice for the top part. You set that on the mannequin, fixing the rough shapes around and stepped back, looking at the mix to get a bigger picture. It looked okay... but the dark red on light red didn't work at all. The satin was too shiny and the velvet way too dark.
The more you tilted your head on the side, it looked even more mismatched. This is where your father would walk in to say, "I think you should change the colours, darling. It looks like a bed of roses threw up on the mannequin." He wouldn't be wrong.
Okay dad, one shade of red works then.
Whirling back to the mess in the center of your room, you noticed a roll peeking from under your bed. Since it wasn't in the pile on the desk, it must've been one of the items that ended up on the floor last night. You picked it up, rolling it open a bit - ruby velvet. Not too dark and not too light either. The dark shade matched the velvet top on the mannequin but it could work by itself for both a corset top and the longer skirt. Adding some sleeves and pulling the neckline a bit higher. Some ruffles on the bodice to give it more depth and frills on the sides to make it flare...
Okay, this can work. It would do.
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The afternoon was in tow, sunlight brimming merrily through your window. You just finished working on the body of your dress and the rough shape, left with sewing the skirt and adding some small details here and there.
Shoulders, back and legs aching from standing too much, you decided to take a breather, laying down on the carpet to stretch your sore limbs. Eyes closed, resting on the warmed patch of sun on the cream carpet, you took a well-deserved break. It felt so good to have the sun on your face, even if it wasn't directly from the outside. It still felt so comforting, relaxing your body and warming you up with much needed serotonin.
Stolen away by the peace of the moment, you failed to notice the incoming company, sliding in your room as quiet as a mouse. Since you had your eyes shut, laid on the floor with arms and legs wide open like a corpse, he was quick to rush to your side to check if you were still breathing. Taken aback at the shift in the air around you, your eyes slowly opened to see him, right above you. His brawny, large palms pressed to the wooden floor on either side of your head, keeping him upright, while his eyes searched yours with concern. You just blinked up at him, confused. Thanks to the length of his arms, the space between you was big, though not big enough to still your rapidly racing heart.
Sitting in the silence of your breaths and the white noise coming from the open window, you just looked at him for a bit. His eyes were no longer dark, lighting up in a softer chocolate tone with the glow of the sun beating from the side. They weren't as intense as yesterday, way more tender and warm now. The usual blue rim on the sides, really noticeable when he was mad, was now a deep amber, complimenting the earthy brown pooling around his pupils. He really had the most beautiful and captivating eyes you've ever seen.
"I thought you dropped dead."
Way to ruin the moment.
"Get off me, mophead," you pushed against his shoulders trying to sit up but he didn't move at all from his position, letting you crash right into his chest. You frantically grabbed at the mounds of his back to not fall backwards, instead diving head first right into the crook of his neck. And he still didn't move.
You clung to him like a koala, eyes darting all over the place in a frenzy because if you looked right ahead, you would be met with that stupid neck of his. The close proximity alone invited you to take a whiff of it, noticing that the woody aroma that regularly hit you first was less present, totally overpowered by the rich, sweet and fruity jasmine. You nearly threw your head back with a moan at how good he smelled. Traitors weren't supposed to smell so good, so addicting.
"Why are you on the floor?" he asked, words rolling so husky off his lips that it had your belly tighten. Your body was no stranger to what that tone could do to you, especially so close to your ear that it shook chills awake down your back.
You didn't reply, distrusting your own voice. That only spurred him to turn his head to you. Before it could turn fully and cage you against his neck, you let go of his back forgetting that the hard wooden floor awaited you. Before hitting your back on it hard, giving yourself another pain you didn't need, one of his arms reached out to catch you, splaying flat on the middle of your back. He was holding the both of you up with just one arm fixed on the floor without a shake or a sway of the strain it took on his muscles. That's hot.
"My back was hurting and it was warm," you replied, gulping down air as you met his eyes again. Warm. So much more warmth than the heat of the sun could ever provide.
"But there's a bed," he stated, watching his brown orbs dart to your lips and back to your eyes a few times. Their rapid movement was almost hypnotic, putting you in a trance. The white and golden colours on the ceiling all swirled behind him, not one quite as powerful and bewitching as his own aura. The only thing that gave you a high so dangerous but so heavenly. A high that nothing else on earth will ever be able to give you. Will I ever be able to quit you?
"There's a bed," you repeated, more like a question than a statement, too stolen by those eyes to think straight. And he caught that. The way your pupils dilated and your lips parted told him you weren't quite here. So his gaze turned playful, preparing for a tease attack you wouldn't be able to get out of.
Lowering you down to the floor, he caged you between his arms again as he bent down, closing the distance between you. Breath caught in your throat, you pulled your arms closer to your chest in reflex and feigned protection, only to see the corner of his lips turn up with a mischievous smirk.
That goddamn smirk.
"Tell me," he started, tongue peaking out from the confines of his mouth to lick his lips, so plump and inviting, in devious teasing, "what's a bed for?"
He was completely taking advantage of your dazed mind, trying to play games with you and you just let him, unable to escape it.
"A bed is for... uhh... sleeping obviously," you replied unsure with a nervous giggle, more focused on how close he was to getting to your lips. They've been aching for him for so long it hurt that he was so close but not moving towards yours. Though his arms were almost fully bent on the elbows beside your head, nose almost touching yours, lips not headed for yours at all.
"Just sleeping?" he quirked a brow, pressing into your body at all the right angles, in all the places that yearned for it. The inner side of his biceps pressed into your shoulders on each side keeping you in place. His defined chest sat right onto your raising breasts, perking up slightly under your top from how much he turned you on. His torso jammed flush to yours, moving up and down, expanding with shallow breaths into each other. His hips dove right into yours, between your legs, feeling the mightiness in his pants bulge right onto your core. If he as much as breathed, it created friction in every single place he touched indirectly, overwhelming you in the worst way possible.
You closed your eyes to keep your breathing from spiraling and try to focus on something else, only to shudder at the feeling of his lips attaching themselves to your jaw. They didn't kiss it, hovering over the sensitive skin instead, blowing hot breaths on it, making your back arch instinctively at the near contact. Near. So near. They simply brushed all the way under it, heading upwards to your earlobe, grazing the side of your ear with temptation as he whispered, " What else?", so quiet and sensual that you whined audibly.
Heart pounding wildly, mind spinning out of control, breathing uneven and fast, your entire body so hungry and lusting for a booty call you didn't even initiate but craved like a feral wolf in heat. The Enishi Yukishiro effect.
"Why are you here?" you rasped, head rolling to the side, so dizzy and full with his presence and the sensory overload.
He loved the effect he had on you, turning you into mush with as much as a stare and his touch that implied his intentions with you were either soft and sweet or tainted by dirt and sin. Right now they were the latter.
"You called me over, remember?" he answered nonchalantly, tilting his head to the side with a grin, lacing his hands together above your head, acting so innocent. As if he didn't turn you on to the point you could jump his bones right there and regret it later.
"For the fitting," he added. The fitting, that's what you needed to focus on.
"Oh, right, the fitting." Sobering up like cold water drenched you instead of heat all over your body, you pushed him harder aside managing to get out from under him.
At last, you were up from that sinful place on the floor. Stretching your arms over your head and clicking your knees, you walked away like nothing happened. His eyes widened at your sudden change in mood, but that grin still sat on his lips when he turned around on the floor to see you better. Heading to the work table to pick up the suit he wore to the ball, you caught the grin turning into a grimace at seeing it again, recalling how uncomfortable it felt on his body that day, constricting even his air flow. You shook your head, giggling at the plain disgust on his face.
"What's so funny?"
"Nothing," you snickered, waving him off.
"Well, something is if you're laughing like a maniac."
"Your face is funny."
Pulling on a scowl that nuked his previous excitement, he got up off the floor, crossing his arms over his chest in disapproval at having to wear it again. He visibly sulked, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth. He truly is the most Gemini man I have ever come across.
"Don't worry," you assured him, pulling the outfit off the hanger. "I will make some adjustments to it and dress it down."
"What adjustments are we talking?" he raised an eyebrow, not liking where this was going.
You walked to him and patted his shoulder in encouragement.
"Get naked, hot stuff."
Handing him the pants, you turned around to give him some privacy to get out of his daily wear and into more proper clothes. You liked kimonos on him, you really did. But a suit and tie made the man look like a model. Okay, maybe you just liked how it compressed his biceps to the point you struggled to not salivate like a dog for treats. Actually, he looks good in anything-
Hearing grunts, you turned around to watch as he struggled to pull up the tailored trousers over his broad, sculpted thighs. Sweet baby Jesus. Pulling on each side he finally managed to pull them around his waist. Though that left you wondering if Wu had to help him that day too and couldn't help from barking a laugh out loud. He threw you another look carrying a fair warning and you stopped, laughing some more on the inside.
Walking over to him, your fingers tapped on the material of his tank top, telling him you wanted it off. No questions asked, it was discarded to the floor, leaving the mightiness of his topless form grace you.
Good god. Did he get more toned since the last time we... yeah, he definitely did.
You traced all the lines on his front with hungry eyes, unable to focus on just one single defined dip of muscle meat, assaulted by the cushiony pecs on his chest right under those bow-shaped collar bones, the flexing biceps on the sides, the abdomen that had more packs that you could count consciously without losing count, and the rest of the muscles he had in places you didn't even know could grow muscles. You had to physically avert your eyes before you had a stroke from how hot and hard your heart was pumping blood through your body at the sight. Including to that aching spot between your legs he grazed moments ago.
Dear lord, the men you put on this earth.
Circling around him, you stopped at his back, studying the ripples of fibrous sinews stretching over his broad shoulders and down his extremely bulky vein-filled arms, trailing down the line of his spine running down into the tailored pants, a pair of back dimples saluting you. He turned his head to the side slightly, watching you get lost in the detailed map of his back, chomping down on a finger nail in focus. He could see right through you, fully aware where your mind ran off to so he chuckled lowly to himself bringing you out of another pheromone induced daze as you shot him a "You're so full of shit" look.
You rounded back to the front, following the deep V of his abdomen falling from each side of his waist joining under the material of the pants. You cursed yourself for not paying more attention to these details before, too occupied with the way he rammed into you without notice on most occasions or in the dark. Reminded of his incredibly stupid confession the previous day that he's been lying to you for longer than he's actually known you, the thirst turned hot with anger in an instant. You weren't going to let his annoyingly handsome face and infuriatingly defined body reel you away from that.
Without a warning you dropped down to your knees before him, catching him off-guard. The rock in his neck bobbed down, looking down at your kneeling form with intentions that were less than fashionable and more into the sexual side of things. You caught that look, planning to throw it right in his face.
Getting closer to his groin, you hooked your fingers in the band of his pants, grazing the skin of his lower abs. The small muscles flexed together in response to the cool brush of your fingers. Then you pulled the pants upwards in a swift move instead of downwards like he probably expected, slightly crushing his groin, at which he let out a grunt of displeasure.
As if you cared about that right now. He sensed the change in mood and knew exactly why you did that. It was payback.
"I guess I deserved that."
You spared him a look of disdain, moving to the side to mark where the band of his pants needed to be pulled a little tighter since they were too loose on his waist. Pulling a safety pin out, you bunched up the extra material pinching it, accidentally and a little on purpose also pinching his skin. You hoped he felt that, even if he held back from showing it. Keep your masculinity intact then.
"You lied to me."
"It wasn't my plan to."
You moved your hand down the leg of his pants, making a mark where they needed to be shortened on each side. He was relatively tall, but the pants ran way longer than his height, coming down all the way to his toes, almost covering them. You rolled them over to his ankles, plying them together with another safety pin for future hemming, along with needles on some other spots on the seams that needed to be sewn again.
Then you got up, walking behind him and took the measuring tape to size up his shoulders from one end to the other. You wanted to see if you could adjust the shirt too, since he kept complaining it was too tight. You stared a big hole into the back of his head as you continued.
"Lying is a choice."
"Not entirely."
"You made that choice."
"I didn't want to make that choice."
Tired of this constant, incessant, frustrating and really idiotic back and forth you walked back to his front, arms crossed over your chest, eyes boring into him with pure, unleashed rage. You looked at him a lot more differently now - less like someone you confided into with your hopes and dreams before, seeing someone who couldn't fathom normal communication like normal people do. He wasn't normal. No, no, he was abnormal, but that wasn't the problem. The problem was that he couldn't understand you and where you were coming from. He simply refused to do the simplest act of showing a person he cared, because he clearly did, otherwise he wouldn't be standing here playing dress-up and being poked by your needles.
"What do you really want from me, Enishi?"
His gaze fell from you to the ground, staying quiet. The man who always had his words with him was suddenly rendered speechless. Just like I thought.
Sighing, you walked to the bed to continue your work since talking apparently lead you nowhere with him. You picked up the original shirt he had underneath the suit, thinking of ways to make it work without having to buy another one. Because that's what people do. They talk and find ways to make it work as complicated and tangled as things seemed. But you'd be damned if you kept being the only one who tried to make it work. Whatever this it was between you.
You sensed he made a move to you, possibly coming to cage you in his space again and act all broody, leaving you with no way to deny whatever ideas he wanted to plant in your head again. You've done this trust and honor rodeo once and it was more than enough.
"Don't move," you said firmly, without turning around to him. "I don't think you want those pins and needles inside your skin all at once." Though he did deserve them. But even if they dug deep into each inch of his skin it still wouldn't compare to the pain he caused in your own heart. You can't compare the pain of a broken heart with that.
"I want to help you find your parents."
Red. That's what you saw when you whirled around to him, anger running in your veins hot and wild as you closed the space between you and got up in his face.
"Then help me find them. Stop making empty promises and do it."
"I'm trying."
"I've tried enough," you looked away from him, keeping to your own corner.
His hand came up to lift your chin, turning your face back to him. Turning your head away was no use. He held you in place with just the pads of his fingers, searching your eyes for the real reason you were acting like this. This wasn't about your parents or him lying to you. Something else hung on your tongue that you weren't saying.
"What do you want from me, Miyu?"
Your hand latched on his wrist with the intention to pull it away from your face. Instead, it wrapped around it, simply holding it. You couldn't find it in yourself to let go of him once you got to hold him.
"Why bother telling you? You won't give it to me," you gritted out, clicking your jaw in fury.
"What if I will?"
"You can't." You won't.
The way you said it implied he couldn't. Not right now anyway with all that was happening and the fact that he took his pride more seriously than your feelings. So of course he took it the wrong way. He was a man after all. If he wasn't intimidated by something he didn't feel like one.
"But he can."
"Oh my god," you slapped his hand away, "this is exactly what I mean. You can't get your head out of your own ass enough to see me without the other alpha or beta males lingering around me. You don't want to see me because you're too full of yourself to let other people in. You refuse to see me because I don't mean anything to you." You pushed a finger in his chest with each statement, getting most of your feelings out there in the open in the hopes he would finally understand you.
"I see you."
"YOU DON'T!" you yelled.
"I DO," he growled, grabbing both sides of your face to bring it closer. His hot breath ghosted over your lips in agony, fear, rage, and every single negative feeling he instilled in you because he felt them all the same. His hold on you only got stronger with the wave of tension you were both riding without a safety net. A safety net that got shredded to pieces the minute he lied.
"Let go," you pushed on his hands, threatening to draw fresh blood if he didn't let go.
"No," he rasped back.
"No?"
"No."
"Get. The. Fuck. Out. Of. My. Room."
"Your room is part of my house."
This was turning into a screaming match quicker than you wanted it to, but it was all his fault. Pushing and pulling on you like a possession instead of a fellow human being. He turned that small, insignificant gust of wind that shook your bond into a fucking hurricane that was ready to destroy it. None of you were backing down from your egos this time. You've had enough of his selfishness and the keeping in the dark. You wanted answers. Answers he couldn't give you, refused to give you.
Why do we have to fight a stupid war as if we're not on the same side? Why does it have to always be so hot and cold with you?
With a huff, he let go of you, hands balled at his sides. You stepped away, going back to the table to grab the tools and get started on the pants before you exploded. He stood his ground. He wasn't leaving until you were done with him. It took more than an argument to make him leave in spite.
You kneeled back on the ground and worked on the material, not another word exchanged between you for the rest of the fitting. The next one he even dared to let out would have your fist right in his face. This might be his house, his room, his money. But the heart that hurt was yours. Not his.
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After you checked that the vest and the blazer in the ensemble still fit him, he changed back into his normal clothes and left without a word. Blondie was next up. Hopefully it wouldn't be another yelling contest. There was no telling how much you could keep being peaceful today.
Cho walked in quietly, waiting for your instructions. He took his designated place in the middle of the room, wearing that olive suit you chose for him on your last market visit. The one that made him look like husband material. You got to work in silence, not a joke or insult thrown around like usual. He could tell something was wrong from how quiet you were and how your teeth chewed on that poor lip of yours, soon drawing blood if you didn't stop.
"Are you okay?"
You looked up, caught by the small worry in his eyes, so soft and brown that you could melt. You gave him a small smile and a nod, not at all okay but quietly telling him to let it go. You went back to working in peace, doing the hem on his pants right on the spot, since it only needed some small adjustments, rendering the waistline good to go.
"Sooooo - ouch," he started, yelping in pain as one of your needles poked his wrist accidentally. You apologized, trying to be more careful. "Can we talk now?"
The universe is having a laugh today. You gathered the material of the long sleeves of his blazer around your palms, trying to finish the last stitch at the bottom before you moved to the other.
"I want that too, making things right between us," you started with a sigh, recalling where he left off the other day before you got interrupted. "I just didn't know where to start talking about it all," you played with the material, thumbs smoothing it out over his wrist. You tried to think of what to say next but came up entirely blank.
Grabbing the bits you cut up off the floor, you threw them on the table and went to sit on the bed. He joined, sitting down beside you, shoulder to shoulder. Letting out another sigh, you shifted to lean your head on his shoulder, feeling comfortable enough to sit and think like that. You just needed a minute to collect your thoughts.
He was one of the few souls you made a connection with. Back then, it was all a mix of teenage angst, figuring out life, and fighting off crime lords of all sizes with a dash of falling in love for the first time. He was danger in all forms, kind of a lunatic and a major walking talking red flag, all in one package. You wanted one, you got all three. Now, he was oddly comfort to you, still the same soul you could tell anything to. Still the same guy that threw himself headfirst into something without thinking, a lot more mature about his feelings. He just saw you for who you are in this moment, not what you were or what you could be. He was still a lunatic in his own way. That wasn't going to go away anytime soon. But you wouldn't really change that about him.
Sitting here in his calm presence, touching knees and shoulders together, you knew that whatever this was, it was so much more than just a simple friendship. You've been through things together that would make others crap their pants. Those things tied you to each other in a bond that would never be broken. The past few years apart made it stretch to the point it nearly broke and you didn't want that. And whether that was more because of the way he acted now or the feelings you had for him before, it was a good question. But that didn't really matter. Because they were still here, still as strong and lingering as the day he left.
You accepted that he was going to be a part of you for as long as you live. But will he be a permanent one? That was the one big million gold lingo question you couldn't find an answer to.
Were you still mad at him for leaving you that night? Yes. Was it something that would keep you away from trying to mend what was broken? No. Not in the slightest. So at least you got that figured out.
Exhaustion came over you out of nowhere. Tired from working on all the outfits simultaneously and yet another heated encounter with Enishi, you passed out on his shoulder, crashing from working so long on autopilot. Your head fell to his lap like deadweight and he almost panicked if it wasn't for your snoring breaking through the silence.
This girl, he shook his head.
He came over last night, knowing something was wrong since you walked out of the office so fast. But mophead was already at your side, comforting you the way he wished he could. Being your support like he wanted to be. There was no point in him staying by the door longer than need be so he left with a heavy heart. Right now, he could tell you were pushing yourself way more than you could take it with your parents, the tailor job, even that one silver fox down the hall. So he just let you sleep, glad that he could at least be of some help to you for a little while.
Your head sat so uncomfortable on his lap with your neck bent at a weird angle over his thigh, that it made him laugh. Back when you were still a team, he used to catch you sleeping even on sturdy tree branches or flat against the walls, without a worry in the world. He snickered seeing that your habit of sleeping in the weirdest positions known to mankind hasn't changed at all. Sliding a hand under your head, he raised it up a little when you scrunched your nose in your sleep.
Cautious not to wake you, he propped a pillow under your head letting you rest a little more comfortably even as your legs dangled off the edge of the bed. He moved to let your hair loose from that tight messy bun, struggling with the hair tie until it snapped in his hands, all of your hair falling in your face. He threw the elastic band somewhere in the pile of discarded materials on the floor, hoping you would never find it. Leaning over to see you were still asleep, blowing the locks in and out of your face, he let out a breath of relief, knowing how godzilla you got if someone woke you up. He gathered all the strands of hair and laid them on your back, gently carding through it as you just slept.
It could wait, he thought. For you, I can wait even more.
Feeling watchful eyes on the back of his neck, sharp and poignant, he turned right in time to catch the gray-haired man at the door like he somehow summoned him. He watched the way you were perched on the blonde's lap in comfort, sleeping the day away. The blonde fought a snicker his way, wanting to show him how much he enjoyed his torment. But by the time he looked back from your sleeping form, he disappeared as quick as he appeared. He looked at you, eyebrows drawn in a frown even in your sleep, hand clutching at the material of his pants. That told him all he needed to know.
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The sun was already down when you woke up, rather disoriented and confused at why your hair was everywhere but in the bun you put it in. Waving that off together with the man you slept on, you went to get some food since you've been cooped up in your room for too long. Of course the blonde followed in your steps like a duckling, stomach grumbling way louder than yours.
You made something quick, trying not to attract more hungry souls into the kitchen since there wasn't enough to make food for everyone. Going for some quick tomato pasta, you worked on the sauce while he made the table. The pasta boiled quick and the sauce was done before you knew it. You sat down and dug in together straight from the pot, finally catching up properly since you didn't get one moment alone that didn't include teasing or an overly exaggerated display of jealousy from Enishi.
Cho started, telling you about his missions in the time you've been apart and how he encountered the most incredulous people, lost his swords and how he fell out with the Ten Swords. Funny mishaps from his side that ruined most of his missions had you clutching your stomach from how hard you laughed. Close calls with death had you slow down on your food, heart clenching in anger that he was so careless, that you almost didn't meet again. Mentions of really idiotic stuff had you smack him repeatedly for daring to laugh them off, nagging him about his life choices that were often done with half a braincell.
When it was your turn, you told him about the relatively recent chapters of your life, jumping over your depressed pancake days. You talked about your new found love for cooking and how the gang ate your food like it was sent from heaven or something. And he could tell you loved the small attention it got even if you would never admit it. You told him about the way you tried working on clothes from time to time mostly to keep the memory of your parents alive. He knew how determined you were to carry that legacy with you, though you didn't accept it yet. Then you told him about the missions you went on and how they ended in the most odd ways, especially since you joined Enishi.
Enishi up. Enishi down. Left, right, forwards, backwards. Each mention of the gray-haired man had him look down in his plate in jealousy, wishing he was the one you had so much fun with. He wished you were still going on adventures together. Then he remembered it was because of him that wasn't happening. Because he left.
You didn't go into the obvious things that still hung in the air but at least you caught up on the other more positive things that you missed in each other's lives. Finished with your pasta, you went and brought over the leftover pancakes for some dessert. You dug in more confident than you did this morning, savouring the delicacy fully since you didn't know when you will get to eat these apologetic pancakes again, though Enishi fucked up a shit ton lately and there wasn't enough pancake batter to atone for it.
Cho extended a hand to grab one but you slapped it away, circling the plate with your arms protectively. "Give me one," he pleaded.
"No. These are mine and mine only."
"I can assure you those two will not be missed," he pointed to the small ones on the side, hand inching towards them. You shoved them both in your mouth along with the one you were eating, puffing your cheeks up to prove you weren't giving any of them away.
He knew why you were so protective over them - mophead made them for you. You barely talked to each other, avoiding each other for the past few days and doing everything in your power to keep to your corners like you would fuse and blow up if you sat in the same room for too long.
This morning, he was woken up by the smell of the very pancakes you were currently gobbling down faster than lightning. Thinking it was you whisking up the sweet breakfast, he nearly barged in the kitchen only for his hand to stop on the door, shocked to find mophead at the stove instead, struggling to fold the dough together without the jam leaking out. He would've laughed at the way he threw the pan upwards but it would've put him in trouble and he genuinely didn't want to face a sleepless demon that early.
So he walked away on an empty, upset stomach, but delighted at the "Fuck's sake" and "Jesus Christ" Enishi was throwing around. Putting his entertainment aside, he knew if this went on for longer the mansion would become the trenches.
"You need to talk to him."
"What?" you looked up from the pancakes, cheeks still full of them, some jam leaking from the side of your lips.
"You need to talk to mophead," he leaned over and wiped your lips with a tissue. "Just kiss and make up already."
"There's nothing to kiss or make up about," you shrugged, shoulders sagging on the back of the chair defeated on the whole Enishi subject.
"You're like two prepubescent teenagers throwing tantrums left and right," he started, laying a hand on your shoulder in support. "Respectfully, grow the fuck up."
"Excuse you, I am more mature than both of you together."
"Really? Cause that's not what I'm seeing."
"Then humor me," you leaned forward, "what are you seeing, all mighty and all knowing Cho Sawagejo?" He laughed heartily at the pun.
"Thank you for the compliment but that's not important. What is important is that I see a really beautiful woman, aware of what she wants, hiding behind the doubt that he created between you."
That hit the nail on the head way too quick. The small flirty remark didn't go unnoticed tinting your cheeks pink. Unable to process that you were actually doing this, you asked him for advice. "Well, what do you suggest I should do?"
"Talk it out. All of it. Or at least some of it. You can't keep doing this to yourselves as if the problem will magically fix itself if you just ignore it. So just tell him what hurts. If he's not as dense as he seems he will listen. If he doesn't," he paused to roll up his sleeves, "I'll make him."
"Make him what?" you laughed. "Do a dance or something?"
"Whatever my dear princess desires." Not the princess thing again. It made you go all mushy inside. "Oh, shut up you sweet talker."
"I know you love it," he winked. "You should get your eyes checked. They're doing a weird blinking thing," you laughed.
Okay, talking did help. Maybe he does deserve some pancakes. Not these ones though. I'll make him some later.
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A stroll around the mansion helped you clear your head for a bit, getting your jumbled thoughts in a much better order. Doing the last rounds before you got back to work, you passed by the armory when a hand pulled you inside and the door shut tight behind you. Ready to throw hands at whoever dared to lay their hands on you like that, you came face to face with the very devil you were trying to steer clear of, scowl on his face noticeable even in the barely illuminated room.
"You've been avoiding me."
"I have not," you deadpanned going back to the door to turn the knob only to find that the door was locked.
"Yes, you have and you're not getting out of this room until we talk."
"Okay, maybe I have. And I have nothing to talk about with you."
"Oh, I think you do."
Placing your head against the door, you let out a deep breath of desperation. You really didn't want to talk it out now of all times. Today consisted of way too much talking. That and the fact that you were fed up with him and his constant, macho display of arrogance, coyness and everything else that was relatively manly and wrong with him.
Your head was still a mess and you were angry at him for acting like that other dimwit as if they knew how you felt and what went through your head. News flash, they had no idea because you yourself had no idea. You needed time to figure it out but they refused to give it to you. So if anyone needed timeout to sit and talk about their feelings in a room full of guns it was them two. Although, on second thought, that didn't sound like such a good idea.
You heard steps shifting closer behind you until they stopped. His hands came to sit on your forearms spinning you around to him. But you couldn't face him.
"I'm sorry," he spoke lowly, sounding honest for once. You had a hard time believing he actually was.
"You say that now but that wasn't what I felt from you for the past few days."
"I know," he said looking down at the floor, hands sliding down to hold your wrists, then his long fingers intertwined with yours. If you weren't so angry and upset with him you would've enjoyed the feeling more, letting him hold you properly, maybe even holding him back.
"Talk to me," he placed his forehead on yours and closed his eyes. Having him so close, right there with you, made some of the earlier rage drift away.
"I am," you exhaled, closing your own, breathing in his sweet scent. "What's going on with you, Enishi? You were so close and now you're so far away."
There was something about him being near you that made you forget everything, including why you were mad at him in the first place. One of the moments of bare vulnerability you had once in a blue moon. Until he opened his mouth and ruined the one moment of peace you got together in so long.
"I need him to leave. Before I tear him to shreds."
You pulled away shaking his hold off of you in an instant. So this was the issue. He was so fucking full of himself that it pissed you so much.
"This again?" you asked in disbelief that you were having the exact same conversation in your room a few hours ago, and every day for the past week.
"Yeah, this again. It's been almost four days and I would like to know why the fuck he's still here."
"We're going to the Shanghai Club tomorrow, as a trio, and then he's gone. We can really use the extra help considering he knows the situation as much as you do." You took a step towards him. "Why does it bother you so much?"
Why was he so hellbent on Cho leaving? I don't stomach him either sometimes but I like having him around. Was this still about competing with him?
"Is someone jealous?" you asked with a small grin. That only pushed his buttons further.
"This isn't about me being jealous!" he threw his hands up in annoyance. "Is that what you want to hear so badly?" he took one step towards you. "That I'm jealous?" another rushed and heavy step in your direction. You backed away from him. "What if I am?" he got so close that your next step backwards had the back of your thighs hit the table behind you. "What are you gonna do about it?" He lifted you up on the table and held you in place, hands digging into your side with possession, breathing heavy with lust, eyes ripping into yours with the hunger of a predator.
"I don't think you want to see me jealous, Miyu."
The way he growled your name with a deeper tone than you were used to hearing from him, so far from his calm and collected persona, shook you to the depths of your core. But not in a good way. He was being possessive. Treating you like you were his. Your heart pounded for him, your head reminding you again that you weren't his for him to act like this. That this was not the Enishi you knew. This would either end in hitting the bed in anger and frustration like the night of the casino mission, or in another screaming match. Pacing the scene, it seemed like the latter.
This was an uncoordinated tango of love and hate where you both stepped on each other to see who would come up on top instead of doing it together, dancing to the never-ending music in sync. You would never be in sync with him at this rate. Your rhythms were off in the worst way possible.
"You're right, I don't. But I also don't want to see you lose it like this over someone who doesn't deserve it. For a fucking bet of all things."
"You know about the bet?" he asked, rough tone falling down a notch.
You pushed him away and got off the table heading to the door. You've had enough of his shit. Why was it so hard to just admit to his feelings and tell you what he felt for you was real and not just something in your head? That he wasn't playing with you. That those unsaid things, his touches, his words weren't just foul play. But he wouldn't. He couldn't.
"Unlock the door," you asked nicely, though your hand started trembling on the knob.
"You're not going anywhere. Did he tell you about the bet?" the betrayal in his voice was poignant, stabbing deep.
The bet was about you. What did it matter who you heard it from? Why did it matter what everyone else thought? Why was it so fucking important to blame everything on someone else instead of owning up to it? Why are you being such an asshole about it?
"I don't give a flying fuck about that stupid bet of yours." There were unshed tears threatening to spill out with every passing second and you weren't going to let them out in front of him. He pissed you off beyond prevail and thought he could get away with manhandling you like that all this time. If anything, he wasn't worthy of seeing your tears.
"Enishi, unlock the fucking door," your whole body shook with rage at this point.
It had to stop now - this waging war, the pushing and pulling and throwing each other off a cliff like that was all your relationship consisted of. Maybe Cho was right and a fuck would do you both some good. But what then? After that? You'd just be left with more questions and more shards dug deep in your heart while he would just continue being his stoic, ice cold self.
He hesitated moving to the door until he saw the way you bit your lip and clutched your hand behind your back, trying to hide the tremor. He went too far. Way too far.
"This isn't over," he went to open the door, holding it open for you. He looked at you as if there was going to be more of this in the future.
"I hate you," you muttered, looking him straight in the eyes, before you took off to your room.
Those were the last words he ever wished to hear coming out of your mouth. With each stride you took, getting farther away, each word plunged deeper into his chest like a knife. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt you like that. But he did it. Heartlessly and cold.
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Spending half of the night cooped up in bed trying to finish that book, you spent the other working on the outfits for the mission. Well, finishing blondie's and yours... Enishi's had a teeny tiny problem... actually, a very disastrous problem. Catastrophic sounded more like it.
Still enraged with him and wondering where he usually got the audacity from, you got to work on his suit a little too emotional, costing you his pants. You didn't mean for it to happen. You just dove into the material, turning them inside out to put an elastic band through them so they wouldn't fall off his ass but the minute you put the scissors to the lining to undo the hem stitch, it went through to the other side, putting a horizontal hole big enough for two fingers to go through.
You held the hole to eye level, eye twitching at the chaos that one simple hole made. Not giving into despair yet, you tried to sew it back together, which worked. Up until you dug the needle too hard making yet another hole. With a groan you threw them to the floor, banging your head against the work table a few times.
I can't let him go out with a hole the size of Antarctica in his pants. Bang. But I don't have pants of the same color either and even if I did they won't match the material of the vest and the blazer. Bang. I am such an idiot. Bang. Dear god send help.
Sad, shameful and more rage-filled, you looked around the mess in your room. No amount of cleaning could keep it together, just like your head for that matter. Groaning, you got up and went to pick up the scattered pieces of fabric with dread. What the fuck do I do now? Do I give him blondie's suit and make him wear something else? That would've been a great idea if there wasn't such a big difference in their heights.
As you reached the vanity table, a roll of what looked like fabric fell down, rolling open on the floor until it unfurled completely all over the carpet. Heavy indigo satin. Crouching down beside it, your fingers padded over the nearest corner, feeling the material. It was sturdy, soft, shimmering different shades of blue either way you turned it. Where have you been hiding all this time?
Gaping back at the ruined pair of black tailored pants still on the floor in a heap, you wondered if you could replicate the seam work on this one enough to make them somewhat wearable. It would be tricky considering it's light seam work on heavy material but it was doable. But that also meant copying the whole pattern of the suit, vest and blazer included. Three entirely different pieces, all worked from nothing with less than a day left till the meeting. Starting from zero...it could work or fail big time. You picked up the material and freed up another mannequin, placing the now unusable suit on another one next to it, getting your needle cushion ready for battle.
The things I do for you, mophead. Raise the paycheck, will you?
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You woke up early for once, was what you would say if you did sleep. Busy fighting with fabrics and threads all night, you did fall asleep at one point but on the floor, huddled in a pile of material instead of the blankets. Waking up to the soft sound of meowing, you found Koru next to you, cuddled in a ball under the satin roll. Her head raised to meet you before it fell back on her paws.
"Hello, little friend," you cooed petting her fur.
Rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you sat up looking around, finding the room still drenched in darkness, the only source of light being the lamp near the work table. The sun wasn't up yet and sleep wouldn't catch you even if you tried anyway.
Grabbing a blanket and your boots, you huddled up and padded the halls silently, going outside in the garden, sitting in one of the frozen wooden chairs. The wind blew harshly on your face, whirling through your hair with a chill you could feel deep down in your bones. Snow was past its due time, its smell hanging in the crisp air, but there was no sign of it yet besides this cold wall of weather and gray clouds that just refused to leave. Just the kind of mood reflected in the mansion lately.
Throwing your head backwards with a sigh, you closed your eyes. Your chest felt heavy. The clothes on you felt heavy. The very water you chugged down moments ago in the kitchen seemed heavy, stuck in your throat, unable to trickle down inside. Something about the upcoming mission made you uneasy. More uneasy than you've ever felt, beaten down by what ifs.
What if this was another ghost track that would lead nowhere? What if this time someone got badly hurt? What if everything was in vain? What if -
"You're up early, madame," said a voice from your right, putting a stop to your rapidly firing train of thoughts.
You opened your eyes to see who sat down beside you - Wu, dressed in layers warmer than the ones of your blanket covers. The old man gave you a court nod and you smiled at him, happy to see a different face for a change.
"I could say the same about you."
"It is my duty to be up early."
"Oh, that's right," you chuckled, eyes falling back to the ground.
Another gust blew as the silence fell comfortingly between you. You drew in a breath letting it out in a steam cloud, watching as it dissipated in the air before another one took its place.
"Is there something on your mind, madame?"
"I wonder what isn't on my mind."
The old man smiled sympathetically at you, as if he happened to know just how chaotic your mind was right now just by looking at the way you were aimlessly drawing patterns in the ground with the heel of your boots.
"I take it master is giving you a hard time?"
"If anything he's about thirty percent of what's giving me a hard time." Wu gave you a knowing look, convinced that there was more to that confession. "Okay, maybe more than that."
"I'm not going to throw water at the parched ground and say he had it hard because something tells me you already know that," he started. You shifted in your seat, looking forward to have a second opinion from someone who's been around these parts longer than you have, nodding for him to continue.
"What I can say is that he doesn't always mean what he says. He's normally calculated in all he does, thinking it through over and over, but there are times where his sense of righteousness takes a stand without him wanting it to, hurting the very people he wants to protect."
"It still doesn't make it any less than what it is," you shook your head returning your eyes back to the ground.
"And what is that, madame?"
"That he hurt me," you whirled around to him quicker than you wanted to, thing at which the man could only grin. "Wow, that came out easier than I thought it would."
His smile grew wider and turned knowing with more wise advice to give.
"We often bottle up how we feel inside and add to it as time goes on. It's not easy to be straightforward with your honest feelings but it's often what can save you."
He was right. Though it didn't justify the consistent lack of understanding, it did explain the conflict going on inside his head. Because it was the same one going on in yours.
"Thank you, Wu."
"That's quite alright, madame."
Offering him a tight-lipped smile, you patted his arm in gratitude. He was like a paternal figure you missed having around. He often popped his head in your door to check how you were doing, you went to the market for food together, or always plotted behind Enishi's back with something. In a way, you were glad he had someone looking out for him all these years, guarding his back in the impenetrable fortress he built around himself.
"I'm heading down to the market," he announced, standing up from beside you. "Do you need anything, madame?"
"Yes, I do in fact," you nodded, trying to piece together a mental list of everything you needed, not just food wise, but material wise. "Actually, I'll just come with you."
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You ran to the market with Wu, splitting up between buying food and getting the boys new shirts since you couldn't alter the ones they had no matter how hard you tried. The material was too prone to damage so you just left them alone, noting down their measurements on a piece of paper that you were currently passing to the lady in the shop at the end of the village, where you bought Cho's suit. Luckily, she still had a few models up to size.
Paying her, you took the bag with the shirts from her hold with a thank you and rushed down to the market to help Wu with the rest of the shopping. The sun was barely rising when you got back, going straight into the kitchen to make some food for everyone. Wu stayed to help you, laying out the table and foiling up some of the food for later too.
The rest of the day went by in a frenzy, running between the kitchen and the sink filled with dishes to the brim like you cooked for a wedding, feeding Koru and finishing up the last details on your dress, too busy to sit and think about another growing pit of unease in your gut.
Afternoon rolled around quick, finding you running about to call the boys over for the final touches on their suits. Knocking on Enishi's door, you found him freshly showered just as he walked out of the bathroom. Relaying the info from the doorframe without sparring him another look, you headed for the blonde's room. From the sound of it, he was still in the shower, taking his sweet time. You banged on his door hard getting sworn at.
"Be in my room in ten minutes or we're leaving without you," you yelled, hoping the urgency of your voice carried over the running water.
"Okay, mom," he yelled back, charming as always.
"Your mom would whoop your ass," you mumbled.
You got back to your room, pulling out their outfits and smoothing out the shirts, looking for any neglected lumps or thread that wasn't where it needed to be. It wasn't long before they walked in, throwing open both doors as they regarded each other coldly. Turning around at the sound, you nearly got a heart attack at seeing both of them only with a towel around their waists, hair still wet, droplets of water running freely down two different but very appetizing packs of abs. Miyu, focus. Choosing to move rather than speak for fear your voice might betray you, you motioned them to the middle of the room, handing them the suits.
Cho pulled out his, marveling at the little extra details you added. On top of adjusting the olive suit to a more fitted form, you added golden cuffs matching the buckles on his boots. Turning it over he saw a pair of stitches in the same golden color under the cuffs on each side instantly recognizing what they were - small twin katanas crossing each other, one of his signature moves.
You sat back watching his face light up with a smile of adoration, sending back a smile of your own. Turning to the other, you saw the look of confusion on his face at the suit shimmering a different shade of blue depending on the intensity of the sunrays bathing the room in warmth.
"I had a few... issues with the other one," you clarified, scratching the back of your neck nervous at what he thought of it.
He said nothing, inspecting the fabric attentively, rushing to the cuffs to be met with glinting silver. Turning it over, he let a small, barely there smile twitch the corners of his lips upwards, more to himself but you caught it. He ran his thumb over his own stitches - a small silver ball on each side, resembling his earring.
They might have been annoying, rash, infuriating even most of the time, but they were both your boys. You wouldn't have it any other way. They were the only ones you could count on to go to battle with. And that was your own silent promise of protection to them.
You waited until they dressed up, going around them for the last adjustments, one at a time. You started with the blonde, fixing the cinch on the waistline of his pants so the shirt didn't look too lumpy or too tucked in. Taking the vest, you helped him wear it, buttoning it from the bottom to the last one on top.
Too engrossed in finishing up, you came up to see him smiling down at you, flashing you a flirty wink, fully aware that you had an audience. You giggled back, thankful for the good vibes coming from at least one person in the room. Motioning him to the vanity, you worked through the tangles in his hair getting it to look more like hair than a bird's nest. You threw his old mess of a bandana and made him another one from scraps, setting it around his head. All that was missing was his full length dark brown coat and he was runway ready.
Done and dusted with the blonde, you sent him away to take Enishi's place on your bed, calling him over. He was surprisingly already dressed up, except for the vest and the jacket. If the weather wasn't as cold, you'd have him go out only in that shirt and the pants currently glowing azure like the sea. The top fit him perfectly, not too tight or too large, just spot on, hitting all the requirements in comfyness, movement and charm.
That shirt looked like an expensive piece of art on him, so flattering on his bulky form, the tousled edges and ivory shade taking it close to sculpture material. He didn't just make art, he was art. Though quite an impatient one at that.
He fought with the buttons on the sleeves of his shirt, trying to close them only to have the little fuckers fall between the pads of his fingers, getting lost in the entirety of his big hand. Coming to a stop in front of him, you smacked his hand away and pulled the sleeve in your grasp, closing the studs easily on first try. You patted down the sleeves from the shoulder down, smoothing out the shirt to its full length and beauty since you didn't have the luxury to iron it.
You helped him into the vest and the jacket, buttoning them up for him just like you did for the blonde. He watched you closely, gaze so focused on your face making it almost impossible to focus. Too intense for the slight shake of your fingers, that look made a finger slip off the jacket button you were trying to close, ripping it off the material and in two.
Hell to the no. With a gasp, you picked it up from the floor trying to figure out how it cracked. Putting the two halves next to each other, it was barely there but it was bright as day - the start of a crack right at the top of the button, slicing through the needle holes.
Why did I not notice it before? I swear I worked on his suit so much, checking everything again and again and it wasn't there before.
Sensing a meltdown he would rather not be part of, Cho stepped out of the room, taking the good vibes out with him.
"You've got to be joking," you let out, running a frustrated hand through your hair.
There wasn't time for this. You still had to squeeze in a shower and fixing yourself up and checking the last bits of your dress, since no one can do all of that for you. A faulty, on the face mishap on your first ever creation top to bottom pausing it all.
He saw you rub the outline of the broken pieces of the button with regret, teeth chewing down on your lip with a pout.
"It's okay."
"No, it's not. Just... just stay here."
Running to the work table, you pulled open all cabinets and drawers looking for a blue button matching the rest on the suit. You found one, though in a different shade of blue that stood out from the others. You couldn't run back out to the market for another one right now. It would have to do.
Taking a needle and some leftover thread, you went back to him and started sewing the button in place of the one that lay in pieces on the table. Just like your nerves, but those were on the cold floor, long in pieces.
Your hands shook, rushing to get it done so you could go and wash up and get ready. But that thread simply refused to go through the needle, dodging every attempt at taking it through the ear, adding to the stress gripping you in waves again. Just get the fuck inside the damn ear, you begged the thread that continued declining your pleas.
Stopping, you laid your head on his chest, looking down at the floor. Your heart was beating fast in your chest again, tremor in your hands threatening to reach the rest of your body. If you didn't calm down now you risked another panic session and there wasn't time for it.
He didn't move, letting you sit there, speaking up deep and collected.
"Breathe."
A simple word that calmed you down instantly like a tranquilizer. You took a deep breath in, letting it out with some of the worry you were feeling, invisible heavy weight falling off your shoulders.
"Try again."
You tried again, this time getting the thread through the needle successfully. The new button was attached in place of the broken one in no time, going to size up the rest of his outfit.
Relatively pleased with the front, you gestured him to turn around and he complied, so you could fix the twisted collar. Getting on your tip toes, you rolled it over properly, patting down the material around his nape. Your hand trailed down from it to lay in the middle of his back, sitting flat. Something told you to keep it there, feeling the beat of his heart for as long as you could. If only we weren't involved in this mess. With another sigh, you let go, stepping away from him.
Grabbing your dress, a towel and everything else you needed, you left for his room to have one of the fastest showers in history. You washed up quickly, rubbing away the stench of kitchen from your hair and your body, replacing it with the first shampoo mix you could find. Once freshened-up, you wrapped your hair in a towel, moving to fix your eyebrows and pluck any other hairs that sat cozy where they shouldn't be. You then dabbed some powder on your cheeks to give them more color, followed by some lip balm on your lips that you found at the market on a good bargain.
Walking out of the bathroom, you took the dress off the hanger and shimmied into it carefully not to rip a seam or make more damage. Fixing it on your body, you walked to the mirror in the corner taking it in.
You ended up working with the ruby velvet rolls for the entire dress. The bodice was a sweetheart corset hugging the shape of your chest and breasts, worked in with a double inner layer for better strength. You didn't go too far on the corset boning, using only a few overlaying stripes of material and steel straws you took from another corset. Falling down your torso smoothly it stopped at your hips, coming down in a V shape, letting the rest of the skirt material fall from your lower waist down to the ground. A slit ran on the side all the way to your upper thigh, allowing for movement in case things happened. They always happened. You also made sleeves, starting from the overturned neckline, hugging part of your collar bones and your shoulders, falling down to your wrists to keep you warm. You couldn't leave it alone and added some small details to yours too - small vines of roses in a deeper red went down the stitch of the sleeves, the back sides of the corset and the seam line of the train falling to the floor behind you. I can't believe it's real. I made it. I made it mom. I wish you could see it.
The only problem you had was that you needed help lacing the corset, too far on the back to reach on your own. You tried pulling the strips but it only bent your wrists painfully, getting nowhere. As if on cue, the owner of the room entered, stopping in his tracks as he took you in from head to toe. You clocked him through the mirror, fully staring with his mouth agape, eyes jumping around at all the details on the dress, blood rushing to your cheeks making them redder than the blush you applied.
Snap out of it. You're still mad at him.
He walked to you, closing the distance in a few slow strides, placing a plate of some finger foods you made with Wu on the table beside the mirror.
"Did you eat?"
"I'm not hungry."
Your stomach grumbled ratting you out. Okay, maybe you were hungry, starving sounded more like it, and you would've eaten if you didn't have so many things to do.
"Eat something. I'll lace up your thing."
"I've got it-" you started, spinning to walk off only for two arms to hold you firmly in front of the mirror.
"Just let me do it," he said softly, looking at you through the mirror.
A huff later, you grabbed onto a fried meatball and some bread popping them in your mouth. His fingers moved your hair over your shoulder, slightly brushing the exposed skin down your nape and between your shoulders. You gulped at the minor touch, raising tingles on your skin. He picked up the dangling strings of your corset, lacing it up as you held onto the front with the hand that wasn't busy holding food.
Nostalgia washed over you, taking you back to the night of the casino mission, when he came over to your room just as you were looking for help to lace up your corset. He rolled the strings around his fingers the same nimble way he did back then, pulling the bodice tighter around you. You gulped down the rest of the food with air pockets, almost chocking at how close he was. So close you could feel his breath hit the back of your right shoulder.
Since you went double the cover and durability on the top, it didn't need to be too tight. Fully laced up to the last golden eyelets at the back just above your hips, he made a bow knot drawing his bottom lip between his teeth in concentration. Pulling the two round loops to an equal width he let go off the ends, smoothing them to the velvet on the side. He caught your mother's necklace laying on the table. Picking it up he placed it around your neck, in its rightful place, placing your hair back over your shoulders.
Now that you were dolled up and laced up, the outfit looked even better on you. But something still bugged you. The dress sat a little too low, pressing the jewels on your chest together too hard. You went to pull it a little higher forgetting you had food on your hands so you turned around to him.
"Can you-," you blushed looking down at the floor in shame. You've been butt naked in front of him before but this was different. "Forget it," you mumbled.
He hated this. The fact that you couldn't talk to him and refused his help. But one look at your middle and the way your arms crossed over it and he saw why you were uncomfortable. Before you could run away again, he stepped closer and his fingers dug around the upper part of the corset at the back, pulling it higher so it sat better on your chest, giving your babies room to breathe and not get squished. The warmth radiating off his fingers was so welcomed on your cool skin. You had to stop a whine when they left your skin, snapping the velvet back in place.
"We'll be out front when you're ready," he said, letting his eyes fall over you one more time to take you in like it was the last time he would see you, then he left.
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"So, the plan is go inside, talk to the guy to get the info, guard your ass and get back to the safety of my bed," said Cho, reiterating a version of the plan you went over in the carriage, that was more fit for his tastes.
"Yeah, basically," you replied.
Stationed a few buildings in front of the club, out of sight of the guards patrolling around, you scouted the place having not been in this part of the city before. It wasn't as heavily guarded as you thought it would be, but there was no telling how many people were inside. Scouting would've been easier if it wasn't so damn cold. The velvet and the coat kept you warm more or less, but your face was getting stabbed by the chilly night air. You sniffed to keep the liquid in your nose inside, eyes tearing up from the cold wind cutting mercilessly through every layer.
Too busy trying to gauge out the number of armed men around the place, you didn't notice Enishi approaching until he was standing directly in front of you. His hand lifted to your face, thumb swiping over your cheek bone tenderly. You were confused until you felt the warm droplets cloud your vision slightly before more of them fell. A few tears managed to roll out down your cheek. The stoic look that he gave you for the last few days was still there, just slightly contorted to a softer gaze.
"Why are you crying?"
At the sound of his stern voice you slapped his hand away. Soft eyes like a deer, voice sharp like a razor.
"I'm not crying, it's just too fucking cold to exist at the moment," you offered him a tight-lipped smile, telling him to fuck off kindly.
"She's right," piped up Cho, shaking beside you even though he had four layers on. "I feel icicles growing in my nostrils. Wanna see?"
"Ew, that's gross," you pushed him away from you before you saw something that would haunt you for a lifetime.
"Let's go in."
Enishi lead the way and you followed with Cho close behind, stopping in front of the guards. While Enishi made quick talk with the guards, one of the them on the side wiping the barrel of his gun with a cloth looked at you suspiciously. Like he knew you from somewhere. You smiled nervously trying to get the tremors in your spine to dissipate. He threw you a weird look before he got back to his gun. You let out a breath of relief when Enishi signalled you to follow him inside.
The long entry corridor was so dimly lit, stretching into a balcony overlooking an even darker area. Red and gold was everywhere. Burgundy satin veils dropped from the ceiling. The chandeliers glinted white gold with so many crystals layered on different levels that it would take you years to count them all on just one. Gold was all over the floor with glittery specks sparkling even in the dark. A big row of tables was scattered in the middle, all of them occupied, including the seats on the big bar at the side. Even the shelving holding the bottles was crystal-like, glowing. They didn't really need any lighting in here, the décor did it all by itself.
Cho offered you a hand before Enishi could, and you took it, descending down the rest of the steps. Walking around the tables, all eyes moved to you at once, some of the loud chatter ceasing to a halt. Some stared at your attire, disgustingly winking or sneering your way. Others quickly scanned you in dismissal to see if you're a threat or just a mere mortal walking around gods of the underworld, way more engrossed in the discussions they were having than to regard you. You assumed those were conversations one was better off not knowing about if they truly treasured life and all its beauties.
Suddenly, Enishi stopped. You halted in your steps too and before you could question it he turned to you, searching around for any potential intruders to your conversation. He leaned closer to you, looking for privacy from even the blonde behind you.
"Let me do the talking," he said, deep dark eyes focusing on you with authority. The kind of authority you didn't like. You opened your mouth to complain until he continued. "If they find out who you are, we might not get out of here alive. So, please, just let me take care of it this time."
This wasn't a warning for you to behave yourself. This was a warning that you were in the middle of a temporary ceasefire and shit could go sideways so fast if you weren't careful. There would be nothing any of you could do to stop it. Not even firing a bullet or breaking a neck. You had to keep a low profile if you wanted both the information and getting out of here the same way you walked in - unharmed.
With a scoff that you hoped didn't go unnoticed, you motioned for him to go on. He threw you another look in seer warning and to your disappointment, he turned back before you could tell him to shove it somewhere the sun doesn't shine. Frankly, you could defend yourself from anything after all the training he put you through. There was a part of you that just wanted to take matters into your own hands, get the info, put some holes through a few of these murderers that the world would be better off without anyways. But the other part, the one that was uneasy and worked overtime to tell you everything was going to go wrong all day, agreed with him. So you just followed behind, keeping your wits to yourself.
Advancing through the field of vipers, you arrived at the far back of the open crowd of tables, drenched into a darker black, the earlier gold at the entrance disappearing into thin shapes on the floor, falling almost invisible if you didn't squint. A deep velvety curtain separated you and finding out more about your parents whereabouts. The same curtain kept behind the sea of monsters that could rip all three of you apart without a sweat. You turned to Cho, catching his Adam's apple bob up and down in a quiet gulp. Even the freak in him that always looked for a fight was scared shitless.
Facing the curtain once more, you took in a shaky breath with eyes shut tight to calm the storm in your heart a little. This was it. If it wasn't... it was over. You'd stop searching. You would get on with your life and start anew somewhere else where no one knew you. You would get to finally live. With an empty, withered, aching heart for the people you grew fond of in such a short time and the ones who have been lost for even longer. Always grieving something that was never found. Always mourning what you found and couldn't keep. Never at peace. But living.
A hand circled around yours, squeezing tight in what could only be reassurance. You knew that squeeze well enough by now. There was no need to second-guess it. Because when you opened your eyes and followed it to the wide, determined pair of shoulders in front of you, you found the man that stood tall beside you all this time. The only person that has been your rock and did everything in his power to help you, even if his first step to you was deceiving. Even if most of what you built together was a lie, it was the sweetest one you've ever felt. The only one who awakened your soul to the brink of both life and death.
The man your heart will always long for.
The curtain was roughly drawn open by a burly guard, rattling to the side of the frame. The hand holding yours fell abruptly, the side of his face hardening as he forged ahead into the fire. Smoke hung in the air, the smell of opium pungent and raw, binding to every breath you took. If you could get a penny for every illegality you've laid eyes on since you entered the place, you would be filthy rich by the time you took three strides in any direction. Because these people made money in one breath, while others laid their lives on the line to die.
This room was larger than the outdoor reception, going around in a spiral on three different levels with red booths and tables lined up on each side. From the immense height of the place this was more of an inner hall, awfully resembling a theatre, definitely used for more private endeavours. Another staircase led down into the middle where a big group of guards and possible triad members played an intense game of blackjack. Supporters on both sides cheered so loud it could make your ears bleed if the volume raised up the slightest decibel. Some hands punched the air in defeat, others laid on the holsters of their guns and sword hilts ready to slice whatever they found inconvenient.
There was one thing they all had in common - sullen eyes, dull of everything but the want for blood. You haven't seen something like this since your time in the fight club and it made shivers go down your spine, spiking some adrenaline into your blood.
Thankfully, Enishi didn't descend down there, but took a right after the guard, leading you through the tables on the right to a set of stairs going up in a marble spiral. You couldn't even see the end of it. You followed the guard in eerie silence that was soon replaced by the ambient sound of violin strings. Thinking you were imagining things from the lack of sleep, you shook your head, but once you stepped on the second level of the hall, the music filtered through your ears.
The tune was almost too hypnotizing not to make you sway a little, like a cobra putting her victims in a trance before it devoured them limb by limb. Though the player was no cobra.
Walking further inside, your eyes went straight to the source of the sound, down in the middle of the pit of dire crime where even more people were dealing their demise in drugs and guns. There, a woman dressed in one of the finest yellow silks you've ever seen, held the instrument close, strumming it skillfully with her eyes closed. Her long luscious black hair, stopping shy of her lower back, moved in sync with the bow on the strings. She was deep into the melody reaching a building crescendo that kept you so focused you couldn't take your eyes off her.
The rising vibrato drove loud around the hall, straining with more tense and rough movements on the violin's body, rushing to reach the climax of the melody. The spike in rhythm made your own heart skip a beat, reaching an auditory high not even the strongest drugs could give you. She carried it all the way through to the last string where the song drew to a stable cadence, slowly drowning out with the fines of piece. And she opened her eyes.
She might've looked like the personification of life itself whilst she played, charging the air with her intense aura, but her jet black eyes told a different story. They were completely hollow, devoid of any of the feelings she instilled in you with the violin mere moments ago. She moved so gracefully even just to simply place her violin down. But she seemed so lost, somewhere inside her mind with no way to get out. Stuck inside this burning world she probably never wanted to be a part of. Just like you. Though you were on the other side of it all, where you still had a choice in your actions.
On your way to circle around the open arch, you passed by her and her eyes met yours briefly. You mustered a small smile her way, appreciative of her strength. She didn't smile, possibly aware of the repercussions if she so much as regarded you. But her eyes turned from those big, sullen orbs to the smallest, barely there crescents, squeezing in acknowledgment.
None of you wanted to be there tonight. Hopefully, you would both make it out for the better.
Cho being, well, his charming self, passed her one of his flirtatious smiles at which she didn't respond with anything other than ignorance, turning back to the bar behind her. Damn, rejected at first sight.
Following through to one table right in the middle of the arch, your eyes stayed fixed on the ring downstairs taking in the rest of your surroundings, looking for any sign you needed to pull your pistols out.
Enishi stopped and passed a court nod of greeting to the man sat down on the other side. He pulled out a chair for you, then sat down at your left. Moving your eyes to the man, you scanned him with suspiciousness. He looked like your average national secrets keeper, roughly middle aged with a small face graced by dark eye bags, high cheekbones and the beginning of an unkept moustache lining above his lips that kind of complemented the sneer he greeted you with.
The black wool jacket he wore over a neatly tucked-in shirt told you he bought his way out of life-threatening situations enough times to build a fortune. No commoner walked around like that. That and the fact that he looked way too confident for someone that was hunted by half the country for being in the know.
Shifting in your seat, you kept to your corner while Enishi made small talk with him. They talked about the state of current politics, the development of the inner and outer trade, touched on the business part, all of those really boring things to focus your attention on. The white wine you were served a while ago still swerved in your glass, captivating you much more than the conversation. Until your family name was mentioned and your attention was back on track.
"I heard you had information about the whereabouts of the Hikari's?" asked Enishi, diving straight to the point since he was clearly annoyed by the man's endless babbling.
"I do in fact," said the man with a tilted corner of his mouth. He laced his hands together and leaned forward on the table, eyes scouring his surroundings in security. "Did you bring what I asked for?"
What he asked for?, you lifted an eyebrow in confusion. I mean, there was no way he would've agreed to this if he wasn't going to get something out of it.
While you tried to figure out what that something could be, Enishi put a hand inside the pocket in his jacket pulling out a piece of paper, laying it out in the middle of the table, open wide for anyone to take a peep at it. A travel pass. Marked with official government seals for both in and out of the country, over an indefinite period, under a false name. His golden ticket out of hell.
The fucker put on a million dollar smile extending a hand to take it when Enishi's own hand laid on top of it at the speed of light, fingers stretching to cover the whole thing. His lips turned into a spine-chilling smirk directed at the man on the other side.
"Tell me where they are and you're a free man."
"One of them in exchange for the paper."
ONE?! I THINK THE FUCK NOT.
There was no way he was negotiating the lives of two people for a nicely written piece of paper with a gold insignia on it. This was fucking ridiculous.
Enishi voiced out your very thoughts, though more composed and in order than you would be able to at the moment because this rat was genuinely getting on your nerves. The more you looked at his smug smirk, the more your fingers twitched really violently under the table towards your pistols.
"The deal was for both of them."
"Yeah, well, things change."
You've got to be shitting me. Things change? The weather changes. My mood changes. It became really murderous right now, you know.
One look at Enishi and he was fuming way more than you were. His tongue pushed the inside of his cheek impatiently, hands fisting the material of the pants and his knee jerked up and down in a nervous tick. Knowing him, this was bad. Really bad.
Keeping your eyes ahead, you reached out to your left where your hand found his, enveloping it around his fist and giving it a good squeeze. You watched his eyes blink repeatedly, body relaxing instantly under your touch. He opened his fist, letting go of the fabric, and turned his own hand upwards giving you a tighter squeeze in response. All is okay, it said.
He knew the brute was trying to pour enough gasoline over you until a spark flew and lit the whole room on fire. But he wasn't going to give him the luxury of an easy way out.
Rolling his shoulder back and leaning over the table, he fixed the man with that one icy glare that meant instant death for him if he answered his question wrong in the slightest.
"It's quite a big bargain, considering two lives in exchange for one and a piece of paper, don't you think?"
Enishi let every word paint with malice, making the threat loud and clear that he wasn't going anywhere without relaying the information you came for. At least not in one whole piece of meat. He sat back in his chair, disappointment bright as day on his face, clearly rethinking his escape route. Seen as he couldn't come to an understanding with the man next to you, his gaze came to you, eyebrows drawn in bold challenge as he took you in for an easy target.
Keep your cool, Miyu. Don't lose it. Stay quiet.
His eyes walked all over your face, spending a little too much time on your red lips for his own good.
Keep calm.
Then they moved down your neck, bathing in the grace of your exposed collar bones, slowly diving down to your humble but really open cleavage.
Don't be rash.
The corner of his lips turned up into a grin, slowly growing into a toothy smile you wanted to bash in until all that shone was blood. Maybe tearing his mouth off his face and feeding it to a pack of dogs on the street would be good riddance too so no one would have to deal with him again.
"Do I know you from somewhere?"
"Not from the places you probably frequent," you shot back curtly.
Well, too late to back out now.
"And which do you think those might be?" he asked, his attention solely on you now, his new object of entertainment.
You could feel Enishi tensing again beside you, his sharp glare digging into the side of your skull willing you to not say one more word. Cho tensed behind you too. But you being you, letting your conscience hit the ignore button, leaned forward and continued, voice dripping with charm and sweetness. The very thing this bloke's kind loved to death.
"Oh, I wouldn't know," you replied with a small giggle, laying your chin on top of your entwined hands. "But if I were to take a guess, it would be somewhere illegal, with a lot of guns and enough money to shove in the panties of naked women," you counted on your fingers each thing, getting more disgusted with each excited nod of his at your words.
The man stood quiet for a moment, the suspense of the repercussions following your small but meaningful conversation really killing the vibe. By vibe, you meant the patience of your chaperones that would face palm right now if they could.
Before anything unexpected happened, the older man threw his head back making a really heinous sound that resembled a laugh. Letting a half-smile on your lips, you turned to Enishi with a Why the fuck is he laughing? look at which he was just as puzzled, then turned back to the oddity in front of you that didn't belong to the human species in any way.
"I like this one," he howled, clearly finding you amusing.
"That's too bad," Enishi let out under a breath.
"And why is that?" he asked, not taking his curious eyes off of you at all, trying to intimidate you.
You were about to deliver another piece of your mind when Enishi went on, stating your status crystal clear.
"She's not on the market," he growled, the possessiveness in his tone unmissable for anyone around the table. That made the creepy stare finally leave you, replaced by the dark one of your gray-haired man.
"That's a shame," said the man, leaning back in his chair. "She would've been a great add-on to the deal."
"No more negotiations. You either take what we already offered or we're leaving."
The smug grin on his face turned into a scowl. You had the upper hand here, not him. He could try and turn it up and down and sideways, but he either took his freedom at the cost of spilling the information or being a dead man. More dead than the world already wanted him to be.
The static silence was all of a sudden filled by enthusiastic yells from below, belonging to the group playing cards two levels down. That veered you away from the fact that the man's eyes fixed on you with a different meaning this time. He took in your necklace again then your hair and your eyes and spoke before you could even catch it.
"I do know you," he started, amusement morphing into a knowing look.
Yeah, right.
"If you're going to say something like 'you're the girl of my dreams' I'm gonna have to stop you right there-"
"You're that troublesome Hikari swine that I've been trying to hunt down for the Triads all this time," he chuckled darkly.
Fuck.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
This wasn't supposed to happen. There's no way he was telling the truth. He must be bluffing to get the paper. There's no way anyone here knew you. Then it dawned on you. The guard at the main entrance cleaning his gun. The men at the reception. The very lizard who called you to negotiate his freedom. This was a trap. Enishi had a mole in his mafia. You were fucked.
"Say a word to anyone and your head will fly off your shoulders before you take a breath to scream for help," grunted the man beside you.
The chill running down your spine wasn't comforted at all by that threat. The nerves in your stomach weren't settled by it either. This was bad. So, so, so, so catastrophically bad.
It wasn't even your fault because the guy made it clear he knew you. He had information on you. He knew who you were. He knew you were looking for your parents.
Your gut was right again. The whole night went wrong. Your parents' safety was compromised, same with the safety of the three of you.
"I don't have to say a thing," he chuckled darkly. "This was the plan all along."
One lift of his index finger had every conversation and extra sound around you ceasing immediately. Guns cocked and swords unsheathed from every side of the level, pointing straight at you. Even the poker game downstairs stopped, followed by confused grunts at why the game stopped.
This meeting was indeed a trap. A possibility that none of you even considered in the slightest. You walked straight into the fire and you didn't even feel the very embers of hell burning under your feet. Nothing could even warn you of this. Not even your gut.
A quick glance around told you there were about twenty of them. Just on your level. You didn't know about the other ones and you had to count the pack at the poker table, the other people in the main room, the reception and the guards from outside. At most you'd get through half of them and meet your death in this stinky crime club. Or apply for a seasonal membership. Maybe that would chill the waters a little. Or money. Enishi had a lot of that. He would surely spare a few bags for charity-
"So you don't know where they are. Good. That settles it," concluded Enishi rather flatly, grabbing your full attention as you whirled in your seat to gape at him.
Settles what? My foot through your face once we get out of here? Probably as corpses but still.
"No, that doesn't settle it-" you were cut off by the whoosh of a knife flying from beside you.
It was too fast to catch who launched it, though when you traced the location of the sound, you saw Enishi's hand wide open, fingers flexing in the opposite direction. Your eyes trailed there spotting two silver knives, not bigger than three inches, lodged right between the scowling man's eyes, blood trickling down the side of his nose and onto the white sheet on the table, drenching it crimson.
Good luck getting that spot out, was your first thought. There went my only shot at finding my parents, was your second. Your third was swimming somewhere in the sea of contemplation when several voices shouted your name together with a rough hand yanking your arm to the left.
"GET DOWN!"
Before you could register anything, Enishi pulled you off the chair behind the table he threw over in a haste. Your instincts took a while to come around but once they kicked in your guns were up and taking aim, shooting over the safety of the table edge.
Enishi covered you from the side, sending smaller knives along the the lining of the middle level, launching them so hard they dug deep into anyone who even thought of aiming their gun at you.
Cho guarded your back, swords already unsheathed from the inner holds of his coat, cutting into the bullets flying at you. Thank god Enishi sharpened the blades before you left otherwise he wouldn't have been able to cut anything, not even a piece of cake.
You took out quite a few of the men rushing in from the front, taking cover behind the still upright body of the man who screwed you over. At least he proved useful for once in his probably completely miserable life. You shot one on the right, hid behind him, then shot on the left. But the safety block around you, ensuring your cover, dispersed way too quickly.
Cho dove into the crowd further behind you, trying to keep guards from the lower and upper levels from flooding inside. Enishi advanced ahead with your bullets, taking on the ones still on your level, now sporting swords since their guns ran out.
Who even expected this to turn into shooting practice? Because unfortunately you ran out too of bullets too. Placing your pistols back in their straps on your thighs, you fixed your dress and blew a breath.
Time to crack some skulls.
You stretched your arms, unaware of the incoming tackle coming from behind you. Two arms, smaller and thinner than yours, wrapped around your middle, the impact of the collision throwing you to the floor. You crashed over on your back as the person's hands dove right to your neck to strangle you, pinning your body down to the ground with theirs. Yellow silk flew in your vision immediately recognizing who it belonged to - the violinist.
She pushed down on your neck, unskilled and leaving way too much room for you to move. Since she was weaker than you, it was easy to turn the boat over by throwing her to the side in one swift kick of your leg. She flew off of you, crashing into the side of a booth. You coughed up for air since she got a pretty good hold of your neck. That horrible white wine climbed up your neck and you shoved it down deep. So not the time stomach. Come on. You handle shittier alcohol better than this.
You got back up from the floor just as she did, running at you with pieces from a broken glass. Her hand flailed about trying to graze you as you avoided her faster than she could move. One swing of the sharp glass had you bend backwards over the marble railing, nearly slipping and falling to your doom. Having had enough of her antics, you kicked the glass out of her hand and grabbed a hold of her wrist, spinning her to land face down on the side of the bar. She elbowed you hard and threw another piece of glass at you that did cut your shoulder enough for your hold on her to slip.
That's it, fuck girl code.
You grabbed a fistful of her long hair, wrapping it around your palm until you had a good hold on it and shoved her against the wooden surface multiple times and dragged her all the way to the end of it until she slid down to the ground. She still got up on wobbly legs, red dripping from her broken cheekbone staining the nice sunny yellow color of her dress. Letting out a growl like a wild cat, she launched herself at you again, grabbing onto your necklace from behind trying to choke you with it. You spotted a nearby gin bottle on a vacated table and grabbed it, smacking it down hard on her head, knocking her out unconscious. She finally let go of you, landing splat on the floor.
Why do all my attempts at making friends turn into befriending backstabbers?
Now that you were free and ready for some actual fighting, you noticed the level was empty. You ran to the stairs and got down to the first floor, spotting Enishi busy slashing people into shish-kebabs.
I should help around.
It wasn't long before you took notice of your next victims. Drawing backwards to the wall, you ran to the marble ledge of the circle at full speed, jumping over it to land right in the middle of the poker table, coins and cards rattling off the table at the impact. Lifting your gaze, you just so happened to make eye contact with the very people that made your last casino visit a tremendous pleasure.
"You," snarled the big man as he threw his hands on the table, staring you down like you killed his entire clan or something.
"Did you guys know you suck at poker?" you smiled at him and his two men, showing your teeth on purpose to piss him off. "You owe me money, sweetcheeks."
That remark was enough for him to slash his sword over the table. You jumped over it rushing forwards to kick him right under his chin. That sent him backwards in a daze struggling to keep upright. The tip of your boot scrapped his nose good, blood dripping down the side of it.
While he got his bearings around, you took on his men, fighting both of them at once. They were weaponless, trying to use the sheer force of their grip to reach for you but you were faster than them. On grabbed your arm and the other your leg and you served them exactly what you served your idiots the other day - a spin with a kick straight to the jaw and a fist right in the chest. They stumbled backwards then came at you again. One sent a fist and the other a kick your way and you jumped forwards through the small space between them, tumbling back on the ground to sweep their feet from under them. They both hit the floor with a thud, grunting in pain. Walking over to them with your fists ready in another fighting stance, their eyes widened and they scurried off the floor, falling over each other on their way to the exit.
Tsk, pussies.
Turning around, your smile faded instantly at the sight of the very angry mafia boss you beat at his own game, stole from, and now gave a nosebleed to. He was way bigger than you in size, towering over you. This was a rendition of David and Goliath you weren't excited for at all. You cracked a nervous smile and tried to run but he grabbed you like a toy, lifting you off the ground and into the air, way above his own height. You swung your legs forwards, wrapping them around his neck to straddle his face trying to strangle him.
He let go of your waist and grabbed at your dress instead, stumbling around to shove you off. You flexed the muscles of your thighs as hard as you could to cut his airflow when he ran straight into a wall. Your back collided with it roughly, loosening some of your grip on his neck but not enough to get you off. This wasn't going to work. So you changed your angle, rounding around to his back like a rodent, thrusting a strong elbow into the back of his head before he could even reach for you. The blow sent him falling face first into the floor, diving like a ship to its wreckage. He tried to get up murmuring some words you couldn't understand. You leaned closer and he grabbed your hair smacking you into the poker table.
"Little bitches like you belong in the brothel," he spat out with a bloody sneer.
That was enough to spur your rage and smack your head right into his, falling backwards on top of him. You punched him with all you had, until his face morphed into a deep garnet. His eyelids were swollen, his cheeks bruised and that sneer entirely gone from his cut lips. He was still alive but barely recognizable when you got up. "That's what you get for grabbing and talking to a lady like that. Learn some fucking manners," you spoke to the hunk laying still as a boulder.
The loud clinking of swords echoed from above. Your eyes travelled up just in time to see a lock of blonde hair tipping dangerously over the railing on the top floor. Checking on Enishi that he was okay with his own hoard of snarling men with blades, you ran to the stairs hoping to get to blondie before it was too late and he was flunked over like a chicken learning how to fly.
You heaved breaths like you ran a marathon, body working only on the rush of adrenaline you got from beating up the boss of the Daos. Stopping by the second level to take a breather, you leaned over the railing for support. Your eyes darted downwards at the spiral, looking at how far away from the ground you were already.
Now's not the time to freak out. Let's save blondie.
His voice echoed with a curse just as you reached the doorframe of the third level, finding a burly guard holding him by the collar of his shirt over the railing. His legs stopped running on air, hands gripping the guard's tight. He looked to the side at the drop below him and yanked on the guard's hand again. Looking left and right, you saw no one else on the floor and took off running towards the guard. You jumped high in the air and aimed a kick at his head just as it whirled around at you. You caught him off-guard, heeled foot colliding with the side of his face, pushing him to the side into a table without realizing that he let go of Cho in the process.
Your heart stopped watching the blonde fall, thinking that was his end. But you got too ahead of yourself. He grabbed a hold of the edge holding on tight to it as you let out a breath. Jesus Christ. You rushed to help him over to the safety of ground, sliding your hands under his arms and grabbing onto his shoulders to hoist him over. He grabbed onto you too, just not in the right area.
"That's my ass, you moron," you hissed, struggling to get him over.
"Sorry," he grunted. "Actually, not sorry."
That made you yank him so hard you ended up falling on the floor together. Staring at the ceiling, you caught a few breaths before the guard got back up and rushed at you with a sword. The blade came down on you as you both rolled to the side. Cho got up before you to pick up his swords, going back to dueling the guard while you aided with a kick here and there. Where you punched his side, the blonde cut his other one. The guard grunted in pain but continued attacking you.
One misjudged lift of your leg had him grabbing onto it with his free hand pulling on it and spinning around, tossing you into a table. The side of your head collided with the wooden edge hard, sending your vision swimming in black and white. Cho spared a quick glimpse at you before he attacked the guard violently, slashing his blade right across his chest, both of his arms and his legs, his back and everywhere he had exposed himself. He did it so many times until the guard fell to his knees in a pile of his own blood.
The world was a red haze around you, ears ringing and stinging at the same time. That awful wine climbed back up your throat nearly getting out this time. You were struggling to get your eyes to work when Cho kneeled before you dropping his swords to the floor. One of his hands settled on your shoulders trying to get you to focus while the other brushed somewhere over your right temple. He ripped a piece of table cloth and placed it over the open wound as you winced. The small prick of pain sobered you up enough to blink properly, slowly getting your vision back to normal.
"You're bleeding," he tapped the cloth gently gathering the small drops of red around the right side of your face, concern lacing his voice. You took his hand away, stopping his worried dabs at your scalp. "I'm okay."
His eyes dove down from the cut on your head to the one peeking from under your hair. He moved your hair away, brushing a thumb over the skin of your shoulder, grounding his teeth in annoyance.
"Who did this?"
"You have awful taste in women," you laughed, regretting it when it sent another pang of pain to your head. "I took care of her already."
"The violinist?! Seriously?" You nodded dabbing the cloth some more on your head. "Damn, she got you pretty good."
Honey orbs came back up to yours after he searched every other inch of you for more injuries only to find your knuckles bruised and bloody. But nothing else that looked life threatening like the gash on your head. "Are you sure you're okay?"
"I'm good. Let's go kick some more ass and get the fuck out of here."
He straightened and gave you a hand, pulling you up to your feet. "I'll go check the other levels. Stay safe, okay?"
"You too. Meet you downstairs."
Enishi stumbled downstairs in the poker area with two crossed swords above him threatening to cut his neck open. He kicked the men in the shins and threw their swords away, landing a hit in one's stomach that ricocheted into the other's, getting rid of them both with a roundhouse kick. Another one came at him and he grabbed his jacket pulling him back to smack right into an incoming blade attack. That one got impaled before he even saw it coming.
Suddenly, even more pooled in with loaded guns aiming right at him. At the noise of open fire, you rushed to the edge of the railing watching as he dodged a few bullets and managed to get cover behind the poker table but there were too many shots flying through, sending splinters of wood everywhere. They were shooting with long bulky rifles as if this was a hunting party.
You had company too, bigger and wider than the last one coming for hand to hand combat. Defending his hits as best as you could, you tried getting some in with knee kick into his abdomen. Your fists aimed for his head until he dropped down to the floor and swiped your legs from under you, landing on your back with him on top of you strangling you.
I'm getting tired of this choking kink.
"MIYU, A LITTLE HELP OVER HERE IF YOU MAY!" shouted Enishi, throwing off a guard that pinned him to the floor out of nowhere, just in time to roll out of the way of more bullets flying past his head.
You looked around finding no weapon in grabbing distance. Reaching your hand down, you lifted one of your legs up and wiggled your fingers to grab a hold of one of your pistols. Your air supply was slowly shortening seeing stars when you finally got a hold of the handle, bringing it up and bashing it into the man's head over and over and over again until he fell to the side. Once you got some usable air back inside you pulled yourself over to the railing.
"DON'T YELL AT ME!" you yelled back down, scrambling to your feet to look for a gun around the place. You found a few, plying them off the hands of the bodies attached to them, but most were empty of bullets so you threw them back on the floor.
"I'M NOT YELLING AT YOU. I'M BEING SHOT AT IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED," he yelled back. You knew he didn't have a lot of time before a bullet reached him. He fought like a monster but he wasn't bulletproof.
As you rushed around, frantically searching for anything that could shoot long distance, you caught sight of the barrel of a gun peeking from under a table. It was a rifle. Its carcass still had a bunch of unused bullets in it. Bingo.
"HOLD ON."
Running back to the margin, you dropped down laying on your belly, positioning the barrel through the opening in the ledge, opening fire on the flank downstairs. You got most of them in the shoulder or the chest, aim slightly blurry due to the wound on your head and the huge distance to the ground.
Enishi looked at you for a second, eyes not worried but prideful. You took notice quickly as you charged the bullet carcass focusing on the task at hand. If there wasn't so much uncertainty between you right now you might've said it meant a lot. And it did but not right now.
Too focused on taking out the men at the entrance you didn't see the incoming attack. You rolled out just in time before a bottle crashed down on you in payback, finding the violinist at your demise again. Does she ever like read the room? She grabbed a chair and whirled it around trying to hit you with it. You grabbed one of your own hitting her with it and she fell to the ground. You checked she was knocked out for good this time.
Running to the staircase, you only got to the first step before you heard shouting echoed from the lower levels. Quickly backing up into the level, you looked for another way out only to find none. The staircase was your only shot. Veering around, you caught sight of the red drapes adorned on the side of a marble pillar, going all the way to the higher ceiling.
Spotting a sword under the guard Cho cut up like a chicken on a gyros stick, you ran to it trying to pull it from under him. Pushing his body over with your leg, you twisted it on all sides pulling on the handle until you finally pried it out. Without a second thought, you ran to the ledge leaning on it to grab a veil. It took several tries nearly meeting your doom since the fabric was drilled into the pillar. You kept trying. When you got a solid grip around it you tugged on it hard until you yanked it free from the side and the pillars it was stuck to under, pulling it over to you.
Supporting your weight on one of the pillars you got up on the ledge, dropping the rest of the veil down into the void. If at first this seemed like a good idea, now that you were looking at the red ends of the drapes whirling in the air about eight meters down into rapid gunfire and dirty restaurant tables, it seemed like the shittiest idea you could have come up with in your whole entire life.
Oh, for fucks sake. Just looking down made you nauseous and sick to your stomach. I hate heights.
Rough voices climbed closer behind you, followed by the echoes of gun magazines clicking open and closed only spurring the knots in your belly. One thing was for sure. If you didn't take the jump now and stayed to fight them absolutely weaponless, you were done for. You'd end up with holes in you and you worked too hard on that dress to ruin it with bullets.
Just close your eyes and jump, you breathed out, trying to calm your rapidly racing heart, beating faster than the bullets fired below.
Save your idiots and get back home to Koru, you reasoned with yourself, holding the sword close to you.
Come on, you've got this.
You let go of the pillar, balancing your boots on the ledge. On a deep shaky inhale of breath, you wrapped your hands tight around the veil giving it another thug to test its safety once more just for your peace of mind, and leaned back exhaling all your hopes and dreams into the void below as you fell forwards, going down into the fire.
Your mind emptied of everything else. The clangs of swords, the whizzing of bullets, the angry shouts of battle from above and beyond you. You made your senses entirely numb to the rest of the world. All you focused on was the wind blowing through your hair as you descended down the material at a faster rate than you imagined, holding onto that piece of fabric like it was your lifeline, your own purgatory between heaven and hell.
Peering down to spot Enishi, you caught him looking back at you in the middle of the crossfire in utter shock. You're batshit crazy, you'd hear him say once you got back to the ground - if that even happened - so until then, you focused on staying glued to the veil.
Looking out to reach above him, you plied one hand free from the veil and dropped the sword to him. He caught it, getting right into a swing at a guy who wanted to blow his head off, slicing through him before he got the chance to pull the trigger. Too focused on him, you failed to notice the rapidly approaching wall you were about to face plant into at an unreal speed. Mere seconds before you splattered into it like a bird into a window, your body reacted before your mind could think it through and your fingers loosened around the veil .You let go. With five more meters to go to the ground. And no one to catch you.
You scream pierced through the hall bouncing off the walls like a ghostly shriek, making everyone stop and look up at your falling form, including Enishi and Cho. They shared a look assessing the situation - they were both under way too much pressure as more guards and thugs pooled in from the entrance. The blonde immediately went back to his row of blades trying to keep the incoming ambush outside of the room. Though he was closer to you there was no way for him to get to you without getting torn to pieces first.
Enishi's mind switched to autopilot, butchering everyone that stood in his way with the sole goal of getting to you before it was too late. Sheer adrenaline flew through him like hot fire as he took off towards the poker table using it as a boost to propel him to the other tables, hopping from one to the other at a breakneck speed. Blades piled up in his way. He swerved blows left and right, keeping his eyes on you, rushing to get to the end. As you got closer to the ground, his mind preoccupied only with you and your safety, nothing more, nothing less. He needed to reach you no matter what. He couldn't lose you, not like this.
Not yet. Not now. Not ever, echoed in his head like the beating of a drum inside of his chest, loud and drowning everything else around him.
Before you could splat on the floor, he jumped off the last table dropping his sword and launched himself up gaining momentum from his run. He caught you mid-air, wrapping his arms around you the best he could. The force of your bodies colliding sent you sideways, landing on the lower level of the hall. Your bodies hit the ground, rolling over together like a ball. You squeezed your eyes shut, digging your head into him, hands grappling to hang on to his jacket for dear life. You slammed hard into a booth, falling on your back with him on top of you, still safely tucked in his arms but coming to a stop from the endless tumble.
You were in shock, taking quick breaths without realizing you were no longer in the air falling to your death but on the safety of the expensive burgundy carpet. Enishi called your name multiple times but you couldn't hear him at all, mind stuck in the loop above the floor. He hauled you up and propped you against a pillar trying to get you to focus on him.
"You're okay. You're okay. Hey, hey, look at me," he said softly, caressing the side of your face. Your eyes finally focused on him, terrified out of your mind but at least you were back in the present. "You're okay. You're safe now."
"Fucking-," you drew in a strangled inhale holding onto his shoulders. "Holy shit. Jesus. I-I'm never doing that again. I hate heights. I hate them so much." A bunch of incoherent curses and rambles spilled out of your lips.
"I know. I know," he stroked your arms up and down trying to calm you down. "No more jumping. I promise." You threw your head back to the pillar behind you catching your breath really good for the first time tonight when he spoke again. "Though that was pretty badass," he pointed up at the spot you jumped from and chuckled at which you punched his shoulder.
Once you were past the shock of it, you chuckled as well. "Well, hope you were watching because I'm never doing that shit again even if you pay me."
He laughed shaking his head at how amusement could hit you at the most random times ever. It was pretty welcomed considering the situation. Peering over the ledge to check on Cho, he noticed the blonde was getting outnumbered, not from the exit but from the rest of the hall.
"We have to get out of here now."
"Couldn't agree more."
"Let's get blondie and go," he pulled you up handing you a spare rifle, securing a firm hold around your hand.
You ran together to the door that was now missing the big dark red curtain, only a strip of material left above. You split up there. Enishi ran out through the door missing its curtain to check on the rest of the ground. You ran to the exit too, propping the rifle on top of the staircase leading down in the poker lounge, taking aim at the crowd surrounding Cho. You pulled the trigger relentlessly, drilling holes into every person around him, not waiting until they fell down to get to the next one. You were a Russian roulette they had no control of. Ten bullets was all it took and they all fell to the ground, writhing in pain or completely dead depending on where your bullet hit. The blonde looked at the pile of bodies lowering his swords.
"Took you a while," he teased breathing raggedly, still standing in the middle of the room.
"Was kinda falling from the sky in case you didn't notice," you deadpanned, pointing upwards.
He nodded just as Enishi came back from scouting the perimeter giving you the all clear through haggard breaths. "It's empty. For now. Let's get the fuck out of here."
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It's been a few moments, between you running through the main room that was entirely deserted to the carriage and starting your ride back to safety, where everything was quiet. You slumped back in your seat, adrenaline of the fight wearing off a little. It started raining, faint droplets prodding against the small covered windows, making the atmosphere even more humid and heavy than it already was.
Pending chaos hung in the air and your stomach twisted in tight knots again. You tried to figure out what it was that ripped anxiety through you once more. Because it wasn't the mop of hair sitting before you, looking down at the floor, earlier relief on his features replaced by rage like something was going to crack. The wind blew. The carriage stumbled on the road swaying you to the side. Thunder rumbled deep into the darkened sky. And something did crack.
"You just couldn't stay away from it, could you?" boomed Enishi out of nowhere.
He was talking to you, trying to understand why in the world you couldn't just follow one simple thing he asked of you. To let him handle it. You talked to that scum like he wasn't the wolf in sheep's clothing, waiting for you to reveal yourself. You even went and nearly shook hands with death more times than he could count on his fingers - with the Daos, the violinist, jumping from the tallest level and so much more. All because you were simply and utterly the most hardheaded person he's ever come across in his life. He wasn't going to let you off this time.
"Not when it involved them," you shook your head gripping the material of your dress to keep your own wrath under control. "You know that."
"I told you I had it under control-"
"YOU DIDN'T! If anything it was you who made it worse," you spat out, sitting back with your arms folded over your chest, shooting daggers at him.
"I made it worse?" he pointed at himself, letting out a snarky laugh. "I think it was your ego trying to strike a deal with that scum that can't even be called a human being. I didn't take you for an idiot until I saw you entertaining him."
"AN IDIOT?! You were just as stupid thinking he would take the deal without leverage over us. Did it even cross your mind at one point that he never wanted to give us information and he was only trying to get us killed?"
"Don't turn this on me, Miyu."
"Oh, I will turn it however the fuck I want to. Because," you started counting on your fingers again, "number one, you had us go in there with no guarantee or at least some sort of backup plan. Number two, we left empty-handed with absolutely no clue where my parents are. And number three, which should be quite high up on the list actually, is that you're being an absolute asshole right now." At that he rolled his eyes, tongue poking his cheek in anger again as he looked away from you. "Wait, no, rewind that. You have been an absolute dick for the past few days. So, what the fuck is your problem?"
"My problem?! My problem is this blonde scoundrel you like so much getting ahead of himself to act like your fucking bodyguard tonight, nearly getting yourselves killed ten meters above ground," he said, pointing accusingly to the man beside you as if he committed heinous crimes against society. Well, he did, but not recently.
"Me?!" gasped Cho from beside you, obviously appalled at the exchange. "I only came for Miyu, not for you."
"I only came for Miyu," he imitated the blonde like a child, voice going a tad bit higher than normal.
Well that's an Enishi you don't see every day.
"You didn't even bat a fucking eye when she was falling from the sky, did you lizard?"
"I was getting cut up like a salami at the front door in case you didn't notice. Sorry I couldn't jump to catch her like you, Mister 'I'm the Prince of the Frogs and flying is my specialty'. My deepest sincere apologies that I can't repay your virtuousness with some fucking flies."
They continued bickering, each male throwing in more insults and angrily mansplaining their side, adding to the dull ache already forming behind your eyes. You averted your eyes to the small rectangle behind Enishi's head, watching the path covered by the forest you left behind.
Lightning struck, lighting up the path turning muddy in a bright white flash before letting darkness soak it up again. When you went to look away, a small flicker not bigger than a tiny dot in the distance caught your attention.
Thinking it was just your sleep deprived imagination playing tricks on you, you paid it no mind. But that flicker continued to burn, small, still there in the dark, till it grew slightly bigger, a flame now noticeable even as the carriage got further away. You waited for lightning to light up the path again so your worries could settle a little but the next strike didn't come. You sat forward, squinting your eyes at it unable to make out what the fuck it was. Then lightning struck again, this time illuminating what looked awfully like the very thing your gut has been trying to warn you about all day long.
Danger.
Shaken to your core by what you saw possibly a few yards behind about to head your way, your hands shot out to stop the two men bickering by your side, flailing in all sides as your mouth failed to work with you. They stopped, looking at you concerned. A familiar hand gripped your hand stopping your panicked wriggling sliding in your line of sight.
"What's wrong?" asked its owner, worry taking over the previous release of rage in his voice. You suddenly had the strength to speak.
"We need to get off the carriage. NOW!"
The urgency in your voice was enough to alert them. They followed the direction where your eyes were staring pointedly at, but it was too late. Whatever that flame flickering in the darkness is, it was launched right at you at lightning speed, growing bigger and wider the more it advanced towards the carriage, now resembling a giant fireball.
"GET DOWN!"
Before you knew it a loud boom echoed from under you, shaking the mahogany walls with a horrible sound. You felt the carriage leaping upwards and tilting on its side just like the contents in your stomach. It spun in the air becoming a death trap, losing gravity as it barreled off the side of the road. Timber creaked with each spin, sending you left and right into every wooden surface. You reached out to grab a hold of something only to be pushed harshly into the backrest, hitting the wooden wall with the back of your head so hard that black and white swam in your vision.
You blanked out a few times, coming to only to feel it still spinning out of control to god knows where. The only thing you could focus on was the smell of smoke that started enveloping the whole carcass with no ventilation to go out only inside your lungs. Bile rose in your throat playing an intense game with your guts that you couldn't stomach.
The force of it landing on the ground made a loud crack come from your right, followed by multiple louder ones as the body of the carriage rolled and rolled, slowly caving in on itself. You thought the spinning would never stop. That you would roll endlessly. Until it did, coming to an abrupt halt against what you assumed to be a huge tree bark. The body of the carriage hit it so hard that it split it into pieces, the force of the blow sending you far into the grass, together with a piece of broken wood you landed head first into and blacked out.
Pain was the only thing you could process. It hurt everywhere. Gravity held you down to the ground captive in a steel grip. Your sense of feeling was slowly returned to you, little by little in a haze, before it hit you like a truck.
The first thing you tasted was the blood on your lips, probably bitten in the mid-flight to hell. They felt numb, not responding to your intention to make them move open from being clamped shut. The dragging breaths you struggled to take in through your nose were just as rejected by your chest. Broken ribs, you figured. The question was how many of them were usable. A big part of your insides were messed up, pulse shuddering everywhere but in your chest. It took a while to feel anything else. You gained some feeling below your shoulders and tried moving your hand, successfully lifting your forearm. When you tried more, electricity shot up your nerves and your shoulder protested in pain. Same with your feet, although one ankle moved enough when you twisted it around. The other laid completely numb.
Opening your eyes, you tried focusing on something that didn't hurt. The putter of small droplets on your forehead turned into bigger arrows of water stabbing your face. The small rain turned into a monsoon. Tall trees lining into the clouded skyline gave you no comfort. You were in the middle of nowhere. No one lived here. No one even crossed these roads. The smell of fire hit you from your right, stomach churning at what you would find if you turned your head.
Taking an excruciating deep breath in, you willed the sore muscles in your neck to work with you and let you see what laid there. Once your eyes rolled to the side, your head followed and your heart ached at the sight. Among debris from what used to be a beautiful dark oak carriage, encrusted in golden crest motives, there were only scattered pieces of wood burning to a crisp, fire not extinguished at all by the rain but seemingly burning hotter, sputtering but deadly the more gusts of wind enraged it.
Looming further you spotted the sleeves of an olive suit you worked on for endless hours, ripped to shreds all the way to a pair of biceps, deeply scratched by twigs and splinters. Cho. His chest raised slowly but his eyes were closed, covered by his blonde hair that turned dirty from the mud he rolled through. He's okay, you sighed in relief. You weren't sure how okay since he appeared to be passed out, but at least he was breathing.
Then your breath got caught in your throat.
Enishi. Where is he?
You whirled your head around unable to pin his location, frustrated that you couldn't move the rest of your body and get up to look for him. You pulled on your limbs, stretching every wound into agonising pain as fiery tingles stabbed at your extremities to will you to stay put. But you couldn't stay put. You had to move before your body locked up completely. You had to look for him. He had to be around here. He had to be okay.
You moaned in pain rolling to your left on your dislocated shoulder. Looking into the darkened forest, you searched all pieces of burning wood and golden marble until something that looked like hair and a body appeared to the far reach of the forest opening. A gray dot that was now turning dark, lying in the grass with his head turned to the side that wasn't facing you. His suit was ripped to shreds even more, pierced by the scorched bushes behind him so hard that it reached his skin deeply. Parts of the fabric remained intact on the small twigs, floating in the wind. All the shreds had crimson blood leaking out, staining the beautiful indigo a lot of shades darker.
His chest wasn't moving. He wasn't moving. He wasn't conscious. The rain continued falling even harder making it harder to make out anything from your spot. You had to go to him. You needed to see his face.
Reaching out the hand that somewhat worked, you grabbed a flock of grass that seemed sturdier and pulled yourself in his direction. It hurt so much, ripping your wounds open wider. But you continued. Every pull scraped your knees, twisting your bad ankle even more, grunting with every rock and twig scratching against your broken ribs. Just a little more, you pleaded with your body, feeling the tingles slowly turn to numbness the more you put pressure on them. Just let me reach him, you begged to any god listening to give you some energy. Your nails dug into the mud, making use of anything you could find around you. A wooden plank, a larger stick, grass.
Three more weeds climbed in unbearable pain and you ended up next to him, gripping his arm to pull yourself up for the last time. Your forehead fell into the crack of his bruised elbow, letting out a relieved groan. I got to him.
Your eyes lifted to find him as still as a few moments ago when you found him, head turned to the other side. Stretching your right arm in pain, you grabbed a hold of his face to turn it to you. His beautiful lips were cracked, blood stagnant around his lower one, dripping with the beads of rain falling down.
His cheeks were both cut, one rougher than the other and a gash sat near his left temple. His eyes remained closed. Fear stirred inside of you and you started shaking him with what little strength you had left. The bell in his ear rattled noisily over the rain and your heart beating out of control in panic.
"Enishi," you croaked out, unstable and tired. "Open your eyes. Please," you cried, head falling onto his chest.
You listened for a sound in the blaring rain, being met with a small thud of a heartbeat. His chest was moving but way too slow for your liking.
Cradling his less damaged cheek in your hand, you rubbed it trying to get him to wake up. Come back to me, you screamed inside, leaning your head back on his chest. "You said you wouldn't leave me. Please don't break your promise," you laid a kiss on top of his chest, letting yourself cry. "I won't break mine."
A groan reverberating under you made your eyes snap to his. His eyebrows joined together in pain as he slowly came to and worked to open his eyes. Come on, open them, you encouraged, relief washing over you. You saw the small, barely there flutter of his eyelids before you were pulled away from him.
A rough hand wrapped around your broken ankle, dragging you away. You thrashed in their hold as they pulled you up, kicking back and forth, trying to reach back for Enishi only to be yanked harder. Your world turned upside down as they hoisted you up on their back, turning to walk away from the clearing back on the main road. Punching and punching until your hands cramped, you tried to get them to let you down. But they just wouldn't budge. Not even an inch.
Something hard connected with your head, turning the earlier throb from the crash drilling into every part of your head. Spots appeared even faster in your vision, threatening to take you away for good this time. The last thing you saw before you gave in were his dark eyes opening wide.
You wanted to scream. To let him know he wasn't alone. That you didn't leave. But it was too late.
Darkness took you before you managed to open your mouth.
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Flashes.
Images flashed in black and white, familiar with the darkness of the night. Even in colours, too bright to be the morning sun or the brightness of daylight.
More flashes.
You blinked through the haze weighing your eyelids. A pair of dirty boots came into view, upside down walking on a concrete path. Your ears perked up catching some muffled voices. Then your eyes closed again.
The next time they opened, you were upright, propped on a cold stone wall in a pitch black corner. It allowed you to see the rest of the room. Dark light, rusty steel bars and cold floors under your feet, you figured you could only be in one place - a holding cell. Somewhere deep underground from how freezing cold and humid it was.
A set of keys jingled loudly against the bars, hurting your sensitive ears. That horrifying boom still echoed inside your head, as if it was still happening over and over again, spinning into the nothingness of the forest. Someone walked inside, steps composed and lanky, looking for trouble. Dirty dress shoes stopped in front of you. Your vision was heavily damaged from the constant hits your head took all night but you willed to work at least enough to identify the person. Your lack of a reaction made them crouch down before you, forcefully tilting your chin to them. Once your eyes came into focus, heavy but clear, you were ready to set all hell loose.
"You."
The sneering snake looked you in the eye with sheer delight just like the spawn of satan he was. The smirk on his face was enough to make your hands shoot out to his neck only to pull against the metal shackles restraining you.
"Pleasure to see you again, kiddo."
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Thank you for reading :) Next
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randomvarious · 19 days
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Today's compilation:
Women & Songs 4 2000 Adult Alternative / Singer-Songwriter / Pop / Adult Contemporary / Dance-Pop / R&B / Country-Pop
Me, sitting in a packed boardroom in the Canadian offices of Warner Elektra Atlantic in ~1997:
"OK, OK, hold on, hold on, wait..."
*closes eyes and lightly pinches bridge of nose with thumb and index finger*
"I just got this brilliant fuckin' idea."
*takes an enormous bong rip and then exhales while gathering thoughts*
"OK, so, y'know, like...people...they love women, right? But another thing that they also love is songs too, right? So, like...see if you can follow me here...what if, like, we took women, but then, like, what if we also took songs...and then, like, what if we somehow managed to...put them both together...?!? 🤔🤯"
*The CEO of the company takes the stubby cigar from his mouth and places it in his ashtray. He then removes his glasses, gently places them on the table, and rubs his eyes a few times as he carefully mulls over what I've just said. He then gets up out of his seat while a grin starts to form on his face, and proceeds to clap slowly, with each successive clap coming more quickly than the previous one, which then leads to a universal round of applause and standing ovation from everyone else in the room. The CEO then pulls me aside and says the following into my ear...*
"See, RV, this is why we're paying you the big bucks."
*He shakes my hand vigorously and then proceeds to give me a million dollars 😀*
---
Y'know, I've posted *a lot* about *a lot* of different compilations over the years, but the first installment in Canada's Women & Songs series is one that's probably going to stick with me until the day that I die; not because it presents a terrific encapsulation of the female singer-songwriter boom of the mid-to-late 90s—which it so totally does—but because of the plainly awful and absurdly low effort that went into both naming and packaging it. It's like, you'd think it was being put out by someone who had just decided to invest in a CD burner and then sell their own bootleg releases that'd been comprised of songs that they'd downloaded off of Napster or something; but no—this shit *actually* came from the greenbacked behemoth that was WARNER ELEKTRA ATLANTIC instead! And for whatever reason, the folks there *really* couldn't be bothered to spare a few more bucks or literally thirty seconds to come up with something that was even a little slightly better than Women & Songs and these atrocious album covers. It's really all just so ridiculous when you think about it, and because of that, it's also very unforgettable as well.
But anyhoo, just like its first volume, this fourth one from the series is really nothing short of excellent too, as it provides a fantastic and diverse array of female-led gems that had specifically been lighting up the Canadian charts in some capacity dating back to 1996. We've got superstar divas like Janet Jackson, Toni Braxton, Tina Turner, Madonna, and Whitney Houston; we've got the country-pop stylings of Faith Hill and LeAnn Rimes; we've got summer romcom staple "Breathless" by The Corrs, one of the single-greatest radio pop songs of the 90s in Natalie Imbruglia's version of "Torn"—believe it or not, she was actually, like, the fourth person to record and release that song—we've got Tracy Chapman, Veruca Salt's Nina Gordon on a well-translated adult alternative tip (anyone else remember "Volcano Girls"?), teen poppers All Saints, and we've also got Dido's "Here With Me," which was co-produced by none other than the great Rick Nowels, a guy whose own exploits have somewhat quietly managed to enrich the careers of so many other female pop stars too, from Stevie Nicks, to Belinda Carlisle, to Celine Dion, to Adele, to Alessia Cara, to Dua Lipa, to Lykke Li, to FKA Twigs, to Madonna, and Lana Del Rey 😯.
But because the Canadian music industry itself has a natural inclination to insularly market and promote a lot of the country's very own artists, there's also a showcase of some really talented women on here whose names you probably wouldn't recognize unless you were Canadian yourself; and that's a bit of a shame, because Pickering, Ontario's own Sarah Slean, for instance, really brings it with a beautifully woven and rich tapestry called "High," which first appeared on her independently released debut album, Blue Parade, in 1998. Trust me when I say this: if you really love all those singing-songwriting ladies of the 90s, like Fiona Apple, Sarah McLachlan, Natalie Merchant, Paula Cole, Jewel, Tori Amos, etc., you're gonna wanna hear this Sarah Slean song as well, because while it's definitely in a similar vein to all of those women, it's also pretty uniquely wonderful too 👍.
And speaking of Sarahs, I usually don't go for classical crossover-type fare, but Sarah Brightman's rendition of Procol Harum's "A Whiter Shade of Pale" here is especially lovely. It's a highly effective combination of her own soprano, a lush arrangement of orchestral strings, and an unexpected infusion of a contemporarily cinematic trip hop-type of drum beat that really manages to satisfyingly bring the whole thing together. Awesome, and dare I say, (le) epic, stuff.
And I can't leave here without briefly marveling over Whitney Houston's "My Love Is Your Love" too, which Wyclef Jean and his frequent collaborator Jerry Duplessis lent their own subdued Fugees production style to back in 1999. Such a beautiful collaboration with that one, the likes of which I'm not sure that we've ever really heard anything similar to since. Maybe my favorite song on this entire album 😊.
So, in conclusion, women and songs are both great on their own, but once again, as the wea conglomerate has shown us, when you actually decide to combine 'em, it can really yield something special. And I know it's kind of a wild concept that might be a bit difficult to grasp at first, but I think if you give this thing a shot, you'll be able to hear a lot of the mid-90s-to-y2k greatness that came as a result of this purely abstract, out-of-the-box thinking. A bunch of quality music on here, and with some focus specifically put on Canada too, but just make sure to do yourself a favor and skip over the totally uninspired opening that is Madonna's cover of Don McLean's "American Pie," because that thing is BAD.
Highlights:
Faith Hill - "Breathe" The Corrs - "Breathless" Chantal Kreviazuk - "Before You" Janet Jackson - "Together Again" Natalie Imbruglia - "Torn" Tracy Chapman - "Telling Stories" All Saints - "Pure Shores" Toni Braxton - "You're Making Me High" Dido - "Here With Me" Nina Gordon - "Tonight and the Rest of My Life" LeAnn Rimes - "How Do I Live" Tara MacLean - "If I Fall" Whitney Houston - "My Love Is Your Love" Sarah Slean - "High" Sarah Brightman - "A Whiter Shade of Pale"
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porchlightfairy · 2 years
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Cellophane
Pairing: Rockstar!Eddie x Popstar!Reader
wc: 1.2k+
Summary:  Eddie and Reader have a very messy and very public break up. After a few months and Reader is finally comfortable, he is brought up again and all of the memories come rushing back and you break down. ANGSTY
based on Cellophane by FKA twigs. listen to this version
part 2
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
Didn't I do it for you?
Why don't I do it for you?
Why won't you do it for me?
When all I do is for you?
After six long and hard months of working, your album was finally released. Throughout heartbreak and heartache, you were able to write out your feelings into the music. All your fans could feel the sadness in your lyrics. The anguish, the agony, and all the pain was put into stanzas, into poetry.
You have gone through what many have before you and many will go through after you; A breakup. You had dated the very notorious rockstar, Eddie Munson, for one year. You had devoted yourself to him. If you looked back at the old interviews, you were in love with him. Every time he was mentioned your smile would grow wide and you would get bashful. He was your everything. But after it was over, you thought to yourself, were you his?
They want to see us, want to see us alone
They want to see us, want to see us apart
They want to see us, want to see us alone
They want to see us, want to see us apart
You were in an interview about the album and you knew it was going to come up. Everyone prepared you for this moment. The moment that the interviewer would ask about the breakup and how defeated you looked afterward. How bad the media made you look. Desperate and emotional. Vulnerable. You didn’t want to show them that. You had practiced for months yet still, your eyes start to well up with tears when they ask:
“This album is about your relationship with Eddie Munson, correct? Could you go into more depth about how that all ended?”
You purse your lips and flash a quick smile, “Uh, yes the album is about that relationship.” Your voice wobbles, “It was hard. I thought one way and he thought another. And everyone else involved thought his way too. Guess you could say I was wrong for thinking it was going to last forever. All his fans seemed to know otherwise.” You bite your lip to stop it from quivering, “Should have listened, I guess.”
And I just want to feel you're there
And I don’t want to have to share our love
I try, but I get overwhelmed
You remember it like it was yesterday. The memory is still fresh in your mind and the wounds still fresh in your heart. You stood in his apartment with a scrunched-up magazine in your hands. He had recently done an interview and there was a question about your relationship. His response:
“We’re taking it slow right now. I’m not ready to be tied down or anything like that.”
When you read that your world was shattered. You felt like an idiot. How could he? How could you?! To think that he was devoted to you. How embarrassing. So, you stand there in the middle of his apartment with mascara tears running down your face. “Say it to my face. Tell me this is how you really feel.” You say with a shaky voice.
“I thought you understood that this is what we had.” Eddie sighs, “I’m at my peak right now, I can’t get distracted. My fans count on me to be who I am. I can’t change the way I feel and how I act because of you.”
When you're gone, I have no one to tell
And I just want to feel you're there
And I don't want to have to share our love
I try, but I get overwhelmed
All wrapped in cellophane, the feelings that we had
You feel your heart shatter. You feel a shortness of breath and your body grows heavy. “I need to go.” You whisper. The Magazine slips out of your grasp before you patter out of his apartment. He calls out to you but you keep running to the elevator. You slip in just before it closes right in his face.
Once out on the streets, paparazzi are outside flashing photos of you. They have caught you at your most vulnerable. Makeup stained cheeks and disheveled clothes from running. You start to cry again. The paparazzo are asking you questions, they’re shouting at you but you can’t hear them. You just break down. Your driver and bodyguard push them aside and help you into the car.
The sound now muffled, you realize, the world was going to know about this. Something so emotional, so raw, so private was now on full display. And you just wanted to crawl into yourself and disappear.
You gave him your heart.
And didn't I do it for you?
And what did you get in return? Nothing.
Why don't I do it for you?
You take a deep breath, wipe your eyes, and smile at the interviewer reassuringly. “You think someone is your everything but everyone else is their everything. And you just have to move on from that.” You purse your lips together, “You’re never going to be enough because you are not what they wanted at all.”
Why won't you do it for me
The interviewer nods, “Have you been in contact with Eddie?”
You shake your head, “No, I turned into a hermit honestly. I haven’t seen him since that night. His team dropped off my stuff that I left at his place and my team dropped off what little he had at mine. It was for the best.”
When all I do is for you?
“Do you think you could ever interact with him again?”
And didn't I do it for you?
“Probably… Probably not. He broke my heart after all.” You chuckle, “Maybe after five years? Ten years? Twenty, even? Maybe then I would be able to face him again but for now, after everything I don’t think I could.”
Why won’t I do it for you?
Why won’t you do it for me
When all I do is for you?
There was no way you would ever confront him. You had devoted love song after love song, hours and hours of your time to him, for him. You did everything in your power to make things work even after his fans tore you apart. After paparazzi wouldn’t stop smearing your name and accusing you of almost breaking up his band. You thought by staying with him, you were sticking up for yourself and what you wanted. But instead, you were embarrassing yourself. Oh, how embarrassing.
But I just want to feel you're there
And I don’t want to have to share our love
I try, but I get overwhelmed
When you're gone, I have no one to tell
After the interview is over, you sit in the car and watch the buildings go by. You then turn to the empty seat next to you. He would have been there next to you, holding your hand, telling you you did great. Your lip quivers as all the happy memories come flooding back. It wasn’t always messy. It wasn’t all bad. He loved you once. Surely, he cared for you once. He wouldn’t have stayed around if he didn’t. 
Or were you a placeholder for somebody else. You see a magazine on the floor and when you pick it up, you see Eddie on the front cover with a supermodel. Your heart breaks again as you look at the headline, the captions. “He’s a lucky guy,” “Superstar to Supermodel, no one is off limits for Mr. Munson,”
You were just never good enough for him and everyone knew that except for you.
They're waiting
They're watching
They’re watching us
They're hating
They're waiting
And hoping
I'm not enough
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givemeabite · 2 days
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Some thoughts after watching The Crow (2024)
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While I have mixed feelings about the film, the cinematography and soundtrack was lovely, the characters and costumes so distinct and fleshed out - However, there was wasted potential which could have improved the story had the writing been better. Spoilers ahead in my ramble.
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Vincent Roeg
Unlike the 1994 film, Eric is not the only supernatural character in the story. Vincent Roeg has such a twisted ability tied to a deal made with a demon, and for his age, very distinct interests which could have elevated his creep factor. The film didn't shy away from gore and violence, so it should've also played around with the unsettling elements that came with Vincent and his ability. The actor, Danny Huston, was fantastic and we really should have seen more of him in the film. His tie to Shelly and her mother was also brushed over. We even see him showing interest in a pianist from Vienna, but nothing really comes of it.
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Shelly Webster
I love how fleshed out she is in this story. Shelly is more than a silhouette or shadow that hangs over Eric. We see her mother, her friends and we learn about her past - But it's all so secretive and kept away from Eric (which causes an interesting plot twist for him later in the film) however - I wish we got to see more of her life - Aside from her love for Eric and her fear of Roeg, who is she? What does she think about the men in her life? How long has she feared Roeg? There is an interesting dynamic here that wasn't explored, especially since her mother knew about Roeg's ability and allowed her daughter to be fed to a wolf. FKA Twigs is also immensely talented, being a musician herself - We should have seen more of this in the film, since her character is a pianist, which links to Roeg's interest in young female's who are classically trained.
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Eric Draven
His backstory before meeting Shelly is brushed over in a series of memories, rapid montages and snapshots. Other than chalking him up as a man with a tortured past, we never truly see Eric's personal struggles. Eric's entire arc is based on finding and losing the woman he loves. We first see him at a Rehab center, but his habits and past trauma are never mentioned. They miraculously disappear once he meets and escapes with Shelly. Bill Skarsgård is also quite a transformative actor - His look in the film is memorable and he stands out, literally and stylistically. It would've been nice to have developed his character beyond the appearance. There are brief moments that are interesting - before it gets brushed over and forgotten (His hesitation to kill the first time, dealing with body horror and injuries, pain, gun use, etc.)
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Violence & Pacing
There are moments of psychological violence and true horror in the film which highlights Vincent Roeg's terrifying abilities, contrasted with gory physical violence at the hands of Eric. There are a couple hand to hand combat tussles, gun fights and a car struggle, with an opera theatre massacre for the finale featuring a katana - While a beautiful set piece, the film went via a superhero route of Eric being plugged with bullets and dropping bodies when we could've been exposed to something much more sinister. I found the final confrontation to be rushed and lacklustre. The build up to Vincent and Eric should have had a battle of wits before any violence to really highlight the actors performances - Eric meeting the man who held significant sway over his beloved, and Vincent meeting a man who cannot die - The very thing Vincent pursued and acquired through demonic means.
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Opportunity for World Building
Eric's source of power and Vincent Roeg's deal with a demon are brushed over with no other details provided. Roeg's ability isn't a secret - Shelley, her mom and friends know what he can do. We see briefly, some insight into how Vincent's voice works when Eric speaks to Shelly's friend Dom, but otherwise, there is no further explanations. Subtle hints or details and motifs would've really brought together these supernatural elements into the story.
Overall, I didn't mind the film. I found FKA Twigs and Bill Skarsgard to seem awkward in their opening scenes until they are brought in together. They have chemistry, but better writing and dialogue could've developed their love beyond the lingering looks and touches, making them truly shine.
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Even though the 1994 film was set during Halloween and had distinct rules for Eric, this version doesn't have some of those restrictions (like waking up 1 year later, returning to his grave etc) which was refreshing. Some would criticise the lack of/obsession with death or macabre things as we don't see graveyards - Eric arrives in a pool of water where he sees Shelly being pulled under, which is filmed beautifully. We also rarely see Eric brooding, etc. Even the crows don't seem to be ominous, but more of a observer rather than a companion of Eric. It's quite a different film - And I'm not mad about it.
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jaigeye · 2 years
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YOU CAN DO NO WRONG, IN MY EYES / fiona apple, i want you to love me / fka twigs, home with you / rest energy, marina abramovic / zola jesus, i can't stand / anhedonia, chelsea wolfe / running up that hill, kate bush
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puck-luck · 26 days
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hey hey! i don’t know if you do this but could you give us a cute lil thing with jack based off of “ride the dragon” by fka twigs? like maybe if jacks been away and reader just neeeeedddsss him to give it to her?? LOL that sounds crazy but thank you 😽
took me soooooo long to get this done because i quite literally had not heard that song before and wanted to get into it before i wrote this (now i'm into it, everyone should send me GOOD female rap artists to listen to because i need more recommendations)
jack's been off in michigan this summer, training and working and having fun. you've missed him terribly– you were stuck in jersey for nearly the whole summer, only able to get a week off of vacation time and you had to split it between your family and jack's family.
so now that he's back in jersey, you thought that he'd be just as excited to see you and spend time with you. phone sex throughout the summer has been lovely, but it's nothing like the real thing. jack, however, wanted to stop in at all his local haunts with a couple of teammates.
that's where you are now, at a dive bar in hoboken with a cluster of New Jersey Devils. you've been standing between jack's legs for the past half-hour, listening to him chat with nico. you've tried to be patient, considering jack hasn't seen nico in months and he LOVES nico... but the persistent itch between your legs needs to be scratched.
you start small, with a kiss to the corner of jack's mouth. you escalate to lifting his hand to your mouth and having him feed you sips of his drink. he does so without much attention to you and you consider cursing your domesticity and easy relationship– you kind of want to throw a tantrum to get jack's attention.
"hey," you whisper in his ear. you tap his cheek with your index finger. "you have until the end of this song to kiss me."
"hm?" jack murmurs. it's loud in here and you're sure he didn't quite hear you. even despite that, he taps your hips with his long fingers and brushes his lips against your temple.
"you have until the end of this song to kiss me," you repeat, "or i'm going home and you won't get laid until tomorrow."
jack hears you this time, making an over-exaggerated noise of surprise. "ultimatum?" he demands, voice laced with humor.
"absolutely," you reply, tilting your chin up like a challenge.
jack breathes out a laugh and grins down at you. "missed you," he says before he kisses you.
you leave the bar shortly after– getting exactly what you wanted from your boyfriend just after you crossed the threshold of his apartment. you're SO glad that luke finally got his own place because now you can be as loud as you want.
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stvlti · 6 months
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linger like a sandwalk - a playlist for Dune Part Two
I'm back 💃 after 2 years of not posting new playlists for my fandoms 💃 this new Dune movie is living in my head rent free 😮‍💨 of course I had to make fanmix for this one to try and consolidate my thoughts.
Tracks ⏏️
Bloodline -- Gabriels  //  No Church in the Wild -- Jay-Z & Kanye West  //  Mary Magdalene -- FKA Twigs  //  Pink Matter  -- Frank Ocean  //  Smother -- Daughter  //  Say You'll Go -- Janelle Monáe  //  A Time of Quiet Between Storms (Dune Part Two OST) -- Hans Zimmer  //  Your Blood -- Nothing But Thieves  //  The River -- Kero Kero Bonito  //  Bad Religion -- Frank Ocean  //  Telekinesis -- Travis Scott ft. SZA & Future  //  Transform -- Daniel Caesar ft. Charlotte Day Wilson
Meta ⏏️
An explanation of the song choices & related thoughts on the film *
(*) I still have not read the book *lies down* As soon as life slows down I swear I will. The 2 Denis Villeneuve films combined already make for a rich narrative and storyworld however, and this playlist is very much based on that.
▶️ Bloodline -- Gabriels
It's the bloodline This thing came before you Bloodline
I wanted to open this playlist on something that gets right at (one of) the core themes of Villeneuve's Dune, and to me that is the idea of bloodlines, legacies and self-fulfilling prophecies.
Birth rights can be stole Truth is you were always alone Tears in your hands Seems you lost before you began Your ancestors' blood fed the soil and the sand
I think a point that many filmgoers miss - and is also a point I missed on my first viewing of Part Two - is that the Lisan Al Gaib prophecy and Paul's claim to it is wholly manufactured. Upon rewatch, several lines in the 2 films jumped out to me: 'On Arrakis, a path has been laid' (Mother Mohiam in Part One), and first Paul (during his first meal in Sietch Tabr) and then Lady Jessica's declaration that they must persuade the non-believers that he is the Lisan Al Gaib so as to ensure their continued survival among the Fremen. Irulan's later commentary, 'these are our religious patterns', cemented this fact for me. We are reminded that The Bene Gesserit has sent missionaries to the Fremen over decades and centuries, creating the religious circumstances for Paul to consolidate power among the natives. He has as much a claim to the title of the Mahdi / Lisan Al Gaib as any other outerworlder from the Houses of the Imperium - that is to say, he isn't really the Chosen One. 'Birth rights can be stole', and this is a birth right he stole.
Yet, he does undoubtedly hail from his mother's Bene Gesserit lineage and, through consuming the Water of Life, inherit the ancestral memories of both his masculine and feminine forebearers from both the royal bloodlines and the Fremen lineage of Reverend Mothers. (We see this during the montage after he takes the WoL, falling through a super cut of the faces of the Fremen Reverend Mothers who came before him before eventually finding a vision of Alia on the sand dunes.) His 'ancestors' blood fed the soil and the sand' on which he now stands as the (false) prophet that will lead his Fremen tribe to ruin...
It's the bloodline Don't let it destroy you Bloodline
... and in ascending to the title of the Mahdi, he will undoubtedly lose everything that made him Paul the individual in the first place. Greater prophecies, plans and conspiracies will eclipse his humanity. This is the real bloodline that drives him to war and genocide. 'Don't let it destroy you' - but maybe it's already too late.
▶️ No Church in the Wild -- Jay-Z & Kanye West
I mean, come on, this song choice is just too obvious isn't it?
Human beings in a mob What's a mob to a king? What's a king to a God? What's a God to a non-believer who don't believe in anything? Will he make it out alive? Alright, alright No church in the wild
'Mob' = the Fremen and their Fedaykin guerilla troops. 'King' = Rabban, and later Feyd-Rautha, and the Harkonnen regime. 'God' = Paul as Mahdi and Muad'dib, the desert terrorist. 'Non-believer' = Chani and her brethren among the Northern skeptics.
But the sonical landscape of this song also played a huge part in my inclusion of the song on this list. I'm a lover of words before all else, but something about Dune made me want to curate a sonically coherent playlist that accompanies the story in lyrics as much as it does in sound. The grueling, forward momentum of this song's iconic beat lends itself to the raids the Fedaykin warriors launched against the Harkonnen-controlled spice fields.
▶️ Mary Magdalene -- FKA Twigs
In my head I call this the quintessential Bene Gesserit song. Listen, and read the lyrics:
A woman's work A woman's prerogative
The song makes it clear from the very first lines that it's about the woman's birthright and sovereignty. Most of the Bene Gesserit ladies we see in this film have roots in the royal bloodlines themselves. In that, they have a claim to a particular prerogative. Yet they also actively govern the domain of procreation, descendancy, succession, and survival of royal bloodlines. That is the nature of 'a woman's work' in this storyworld.
A woman's touch, a sacred geometry I know where you start, where you end How to please, how to curse Yes, I learnt you needed me Yes, I'm here to open you Yes, I know that your heart is blue (So cold)
FKA Twigs' darkly seductive vocals paired with this particular verse really evokes that entire Lady Fenring/Feyd-Rautha sequence.
I fear before the fire True as Mary Magdalene Creature of desire Come just a little bit closer to me Step just a little bit closer to me
The seduction continues here, but there's power inherent in the 'creature of desire' Mary Magdalene represents. Her story and her iconography bears a heavy resemblance to the Bene Gesserit sisters and their relationships with the men of the Imperium and its court.
I can lift you higher I do it like Mary Magdalene I want you to say it Come just a little bit closer 'til we collide
A woman's hands So dark and provocative A nurturing breath that could stroke Your divine confidence
I really fuck with the Mary Magdalene allegory in this song, and the chorus nails the mythos and authority she commands in modern reimaginings of her figure in relation to Jesus' mythos. Yet there's something softer in the latter half of the chorus - the devotion she shows to her partner is on equal footing, less of manipulation and more of the muse she can be for him to realise his full potential. With the arrival of the second verse we truly see how important she is to a man's dominion. 'A nurturing breath that could stroke [His] divine confidence': that is the power of Lady's Jessica's love for and devotion to Leto Atreides.
A woman's war Unoccupied history True nature won't search to destroy If it doesn't make sense
Of course, it would be remiss of me not to point out that certain parts of the Bene Gesserit's characterisation functions as a manifestation and perpetuation of Frank Herbert's very of-its-time misogynistic, gender essentialist ideas of a woman's station and the (only) avenue through which she derives her power in the material world - her womb. (Miss me with that radical feminist bs.) But we also see, in the film, Princess Irulan's character: a female historian whom the film suggests would have been happier free from the trappings of the Bene Gesserit programme and her Imperial lineage. 'A woman's war; unoccupied history': Mary Magdalene is a prime example of how for most of history, women are often anonymous (as that Virginia Woolf saying goes), their histories are often erased and deemed as unimportant; Irulan's inner thoughts and history are also cast aside and given no voice in the Dune narrative, but in an ironic twist, she dedicates her life to documenting the history of others.
▶️  Pink Matter -- Frank Ocean
What do you think my brain is made for? Is it just a container for the mind? This great, grey matter Sensei replied, "What is your woman? Is she just a container for the child?" That soft, pink matter
This song provides more of a male - or at least, androgynous - perspective on the question of the Bene Gesserit breeding programme ('Is she just a container for the child?' / 'My God, she's giving me pleasure'). But it gets right at the core of the question of whether the women in this universe, and the avenue through which they gain power, is truly confined to being 'just a container for the child'. I also really liked the direct parallels Frank Ocean's lyrics draw between the womb (pink matter) and the mind (grey matter), as the other main source of power Jessica drives from is through her mind and the prescience becoming the Reverend Mother has afforded her.
▶️ Smother -- Daughter
In my head I call this Lady Jessica's song.
I want all that is not mine I want him, but we're not right In the darkness, I will meet my creators And they will all agree that I'm a suffocator
I think it's more intimate than either of the 2 songs that come before this one, and centres Jessica squarely in her role as a mother before her place as a Bene Gesserit sister. She knows she will meet her creators - the generations of mothers and Bene Gesserit sisters who came before her - and she knows they will disapprove of the path she has manipulated to suit her ends, first for Duke Leto (in bearing him a son) and then for her son's survival (in spreading propaganda of him as the Lisan Al Gaib among the Fremen tribes). Now I know that the films sort of reduce her to a one-dimensional villain in Part Two, but I've heard that she is a lot less gungho about their little homegrown personality cult of Paul as the Lisan Al Gaib / Mahdi in the book. In fact, his accelerated transformation into a religious figurehead and his willingness to exploit the Fremen for that, at the cost of his own humanity, seems to be an unintended outcome that she regrets. She has unwittingly become a 'suffocator', in that regard - a mother killing her own child's humanity in his metaphorical cradle as soon as she exposed him to tales of the prophecy.
Oh love I'm sorry if I smothered you I sometimes wish I'd stayed inside My mother
▶️  Say You'll Go -- Janelle Monáe
Say you'll go to Nirvana Will you leave Samsara? Or in the words of Dhammapada, "Who will lead? Who will follow?" Our love will sail in this ark The world could end outside our window Let's find forever And write our name in fire on each others' hearts
Something about Janelle's crooning vocals against the symphonic strings and melodies just makes this a timeless love song. I love including it in for my ships 🥺 and I think it rather fits PaulChani, the star-crossed lovers that they are. 'Let's find forever' is my 'I will love you as long as I breathe'.
But of course, the question of whether Paul will go south looms over their heads like the Sword of Damocles. 'Will you leave Samsara? ... Who will lead? Who will follow?'
▶️  A Time of Quiet Between Storms (Dune Part Two OST)
Among the Dune OST, this song holds a higher and special place in my heart because of the way it celebrates their first on-screen kiss, but is also used as a reprise of sorts at the end of the film as Chani walks out on Paul. It's a bittersweet track. And it's lived in my mind rent free much the same way that last shot of Chani, with her quivering lips and angry eyes, has.
This brings me to the name of the playlist: the PaulChani tragedy, and just, the film as a whole, has definitely lingered in my mind. It has dragged against my thoughts gently, but persistently like the rhythm of a sandwalk.
I also chose to place it in the middle of playlist to sever it into 2 parts, much the same way the film is severed into 2 parts: before Paul undergoes the Water of Life ritual, when he is still an idealistic boy who actively rejects the title of the Mahdi for fear of the wartorn future he's foreseen, and afterwards, when he claims the mantle of the Mahdi.
▶️  Your Blood -- Nothing But Thieves
You know it's your blood that I bleed Tell me that there's some way that I'll get through the night I carry your moral disease I don't wanna be something I'm not to stay alive
You guys don't know how long I've wanted to put this song on a fanmix!! I've called this Joey Wilson/Jericho's song from the moment I heard it 😂 but I think the same themes can be found in Paul's story too, specifically his first scene right after recovering from the Water of Life ritual. 'We're Harkonnens.' And his realisation that that's how they'll survive: by becoming Harkonnens. It's the Baron's blood that he bleeds, and conflicted as he is about that, eventually he'll come to realise that he has to 'be something I'm not to stay alive'.
▶️  The River -- Kero Kero Bonito
Holy mother Receive our hearts in your arms And let our souls pass The day the rain returns again
These 4 lines are repeated throughout the song, almost like a prayer. It reminds me of the way Stilgar holds onto those same 4 words, 'As it was written', throughout the film as an affirmation of his religious convictions - the belief that the true Mahdi will bring paradise one day and with it, the rain.
When Earth is submerging And heaven is open The river will carry all of us to Where we belong ... Then a torrent crashes down Releasing the jungle swelling in the ground And as was foretold our time is out
▶️  Bad Religion -- Frank Ocean
If it brings me to my knees It's a bad religion This unrequited love To me, it's nothing but a one-man cult And cyanide in my styrofoam cup I can never make him love me Never make him love me
This song places us in Chani's pov. To her, Paul's meteoric rise of notoriety among the Fremen is 'nohting but a one-man cult'. She loved him as he was - an outsider who stayed humble and learnt her ways, and earned a place among her Fedaykin brethren. But as a power-tripping outerworlder claiming to be the Mahdi - she doesn't recognise him, and she 'can never make him love [her]' again, not as the man he has become.
▶️  Telekinesis -- Travis Scott ft. SZA & Future
I could've took the pain and I could've went out sad Streets stepped in and raised me, but I ain't have my daddy
So I'm gonna be honest: this is actually the track that started this entire project for me 🙈 But you see it, right? Travis Scott as Paul's voice, and SZA as Chani's...
I can see the future, it's lookin' like we level through the sky I can't wait to live in glory in eternal lastin' life
The fact that 'I can see the future' is the refrain of this song. In its original context I'm almost certain that Travis meant it less literally, and more in the realm of being able to guess the trajectory of his career as he continues to top the charts as a hip hop superstar. But it lends well to the context of Paul's religious myth-making as well. 'Eternal lasting life' and all that.
How can I sleep when you're out catchin' bodies? I still wanna be with you, trust me, I know that's insane ... We both ain't shit and it's workin' for me Workin' for me, yeah I can see the future, I can see the future
The thing that breaks my heart about the ending of the film is that you can see Chani still loves Paul, but not who he has become. I also like that the song flips the refrain around and has SZA sing it too. Except when she says, 'I can see the future', she says it self-deprecatingly. It's a future of more heartbreak and betrayal (by way of mutual infidelity) and ruin.
▶️  Transform -- Daniel Caesar ft. Charlotte Day Wilson
If a leopard never changes its spots How can I change what I've got? Transform, transform, transform, transform We don't punish the tiger for catching its prey So how am I the one to blame? If it's in my nature Transform, transform, transform, transform
One thing rewatching these films has made me realise is that Paul's 'sudden flip' to becoming a coloniser exploiting the Fremen's religion for his own gains in Imperial politics after drinking the Water of Life is actually less of a plot twist and more of an inevitability that has been advertised since Part One. Towards the end of the first film, he says to Liet Kynes that he intends to marry one of the Emperor's daughters and make a play for the throne. In Part Two, during his first meal at Sietch Tabr, he says to his mother that he must convince the non-believers that he is the Lisan Al Gaib. He may not have intended to bear the mantle of the Mahdi, perhaps he was foolishly, idealistically looking for a different path towards revenge and the throne, but he has never been above playing the game and utilising court politics to secure his 'victory', so to speak. He was born of royal blood and forged in those politics. It's in his nature.
It's never over until life ends Lay down beside me, do it again
These 2 lines reminds me again of that promise Paul and Chani exchanged: 'I will love you as long as I breathe'. (And if I remember correctly, Chani said something to the effect of 'I will be here for you as long as you stay who you are' as well.) I didn't want to end this playlist on a downer ending, hence this song choice.
If you've made it this far into my meta-commentary, thank you! Hope you've enjoyed this playlist ♡
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themuse-if · 8 months
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Faye Winters
The Manic Pixie Dream Girl
I really enjoyed designing and styling Faye! She is definitely one of my favorite characters.
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Faye Winters | 19 yrs old | she/they:
Faye embodies the essence of an ethereal being, a sophomore majoring in dance with a minor in studio arts. Their aura is as enchanting as it is flighty, reflecting in both their artistic pursuits and their charismatic presence. Faye possesses an effortless charm and beauty that seamlessly translates into their art, whether it be the grace of their contemporary dance or the finesse of their sculptures. Faye's preference for contemporary dance over ballet is a testament to their unique artistic expression, choosing to dance on the edges of tradition and embrace a more modern form of movement.
With albino features and icy blue eyes, Faye stands out even more, captivating those who encounter their otherworldly appearance. Their striking features draw attention naturally, and Faye is accustomed to being the center of focus, even though they don't actively seek extra attention. Amidst the allure, Faye faces challenges in romantic relationships. The abundance of admirers, constant stares, and occasional accusations of flirtation create hurdles in their personal life.
These challenges echo in their past relationship with Reyes, where issues arose from the external pressures surrounding Faye's captivating presence. Beneath the surface, Faye grapples with the struggle to discern genuine friendships from those who are drawn to them solely for their looks. Their journey unfolds as Faye navigates the delicate balance between the external perceptions of beauty and the desire for authentic connections in the realm of art and relationships.
Scroll all the way down for a mini Q&A with Faye!
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Top row left to right: Everyday, formal, activewear, sleepwear
Bottom row left to right: Party, swimwear, hot weather, cold weather
Faye Q&A
Q: What’s your sign?
A: Did you want my full birth chart? *gets excited* No? *face falls* Oh ok I'm a Pisces.
Q: How tall are you?
A: I'm 5'9.
Q: Name your top 5 artists your listening to?
A: My top 5 favorite artists are Ghostly Kisses, Mitski, Tamino, FKA twigs, and Alice Phoebe Lou. I really love whimsical sounds, they just have a way of moving through you.
Q: What’s your favorite food?
A: I always crave lavender-infused desserts; I like the delicate blend of sweet and earthy florals.
Q: What’s your ideal date?
A: A spontaneous adventure to a hidden botanical garden. We would wander through lush, exotic flora, discovering secret corners and relishing the tranquility. Then a cozy evening at a charming rooftop restaurant were we can enjoy the food and each others company. And if the night is going really well, then maybe we head back to my dorm to start a show together on Netflix. *soft smile, eyes literally twinkle*
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bringbackdas · 1 year
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Lyrics I wish I wrote:
- “you couldn’t have stuck your tongue down the throat of somebody who loved you more” Moon Song, Phoebe Bridgers
- “For the lovers who found a mirrored heart, they just remind me I’m without you” mirrored heart, FKA Twigs
- “From strangers to friends, friends into lovers, then strangers again” Strange, Celeste
- “It’s always on the tip of my toungue. I read an article on the internet told me that’s how you know you’re falling in love” hate to be lame, Lizzy McAlpine feat. FINNEAS
- “The funny thing is I would have married you if you’d have stuck around” doomsday, Lizzy McAlpine
- “I wanna make you fall in love as hard as my poor parents teenage daughter, she’ll be the best you’ve ever had if you let her” waiting room, Phoebe Bridgers
- “You said Scarlett I don’t need to be responsible for everything you’re feeling. You’re an emotional grim reaper I feel bad for you.” scarlett, Holly Humberstone
- “I can see it now the wedding of the year I can see it now he stands up there and wipes his tears. I can see it now when all my ghost disappear.” all my ghosts, Lizzy McAlpine
- “God rest my soul I miss who I used to be. The wound won’t close, stained glass windows in my mind…I regret you all the time.” would’ve could’ve should’ve, Taylor Swift
- “And honest I can tell you now I love you more than my future spouse” I’d have to think about it, Leith Ross
- “where you came and I laughed and you left and I cried. Where you told me even if we die tonight that I’d die yours” a house in Nebraska, Ethel Cain
- “I lie to her and say that I’m doing fine when really i would kill myself to hold you one more time” a house in Nebraska, Ethel Cain
- “Please don’t ever become a stranger who’s laugh I could recognize anywhere” New Year’s Day, Taylor Swift
- “Give me a lifetime of promises and a world of dreams. Speak the language of love like you know what it means” Simply the Best, Noah Reid
- “I’ll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror” Anti-Hero, Taylor Swift
- “After everything would you let me in and love me now” would you love me now, Joshua Bassett
- “No one wanted to play with my as a little kid so I’ve been scheming like a criminal ever since to make them love me and make it feel effortless” Mastermind, Taylor Swift
- “You don’t get to take all of me, set me free” Set me free, Joshua Bassett
- “It’s been a fucking year” Set me free, Joshua Bassett
- “Who I am made it all worth the while and these scars will be stories I tell all in due time” all in due time, Joshua Bassett
- “I know my love should be celebrated but you tolerate it” tolerate it, Taylor Swift
- “You’re good at the giving too much then getting scared. You’re good at impersonating someone who cares” decode, Sabrina Carpenter
- “Do something babe say something. Lose something babe risk something. Chose something babe I got nothing to believe unless you’re choosing me” you’re losing me, Taylor Swift
- “I wouldn’t marry me either. A pathological people pleaser who only wanted you to see her.” you’re losing me, Taylor Swift
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