#i still haven't gotten over it being the last one. i'll process that probably around episode 8 or something

[ripclaudia]

succession season 3 ended 450 days ago. now there are only 19 days until season 4 premieres.

[brionysea]

current bnb status? like how many chapters r done / close to being done and what are some scenes ur working on now ? :3

hi hello!!! i was about halfway through drafting part 3 (i don't want to say chapter - they're Lengthy parts, there would be about 5 chapter breaks within each part if i was doing chapters) before i got distracted by the realisation that I Can't Write Whump. how do people write whump? i came here for the emotions and the trauma processing and now i have to write a character getting physically pretzled? rude

anyway, as of right now the plan is... 7, 8 parts? somewhere around there. part 1 is about 95% done (i'll probably get on that last 5% next time i pick up writing bnb again - dustin is being The Brain Cell Friend and he will not wait long); part 2 is like, 50% done, but that's mostly because writing a character realising their own mortality within the context of a pre-determined scene from the show is difficult and feels repetitive and stale in contrast to being able to just Make Stuff Up; everything beyond that is pretty mentally laid out by now but it's a bit haphazardly existent, writing-wise, and it's certainly not edited. max gets a speech at the end that makes me cry though. i have to break from the perspective character (mike) (he's a bit busy Antagonising The Antagonist at the time) (he does that a lot, it's concerning. where are the survival instincts? is he not paying attention to the moral of the story? it's that running is okay, mike! that's how you survive in stranger things!!!) to pull that off but i don't even care, it's so worth it

as far as scenes that are currently In Focus in my brain:

there's the dustin thing i mentioned. mike gets to catch him up on the Mike (And El) Are Being Weird part of season 3 that he missed out on in real time via distraction by russian conspiracy theories, which is always fun because dustin tends to listen when mike talks and he's been pretty distinctly kept separate from any and all Mike Is Being Weird parts of the show for a long while. because he is too smart and would figure out that that's Important, actually. writing what (if anything) he would do about that is going to be fun, because i wasn't really thinking about him before but now that he's here he will not be ignored. dustin also takes the time to battle mike's anxiety with flawless logic and wins, because dustin is amazing. i really love dustin and the lack of dustin&mike interactions is criminal

the other part that's currently in rotation, which i haven't actually gotten around to writing yet because of the pretzling (i won't provide details or context, it helps with the immersion :)), is max and mike being friends. aka the point of this whole endeavour if i'm being honest. they can allow themselves to be suicidal, that's fine, but if their friend tries it? right in front of them? tries to die right in front of them where they can see??? what an idiot. what a stupid idiot who needs to be saved from their own idiocy right away. get hugged, idiot. don't die. (<- if i'm being even more honest, THAT'S the point. teen suicide allegories vs the power of friendship. get friendshipped, idiot) (is this mostly me being bitter over the optics of Suicidal Teen Max Mayfield dying seconds after she realised she wanted to Live, Actually? maybe so. i hate that trope, even if in this case it's temporary death that does actually work for the allegory. let traumatised characters recover)

one thing i've noticed is that i have this inclination to try and make the wheeler family better? ted is a bad father, that's easy to roll with, he sucks, but i think about nancy and my brain is like Make Her A Good Sister (especially when she's good at solving puzzles and mike is very much a puzzle right now, but that's the case in the show too and she still Doesn't Really Care), or i try to write karen and my brain is like Make Her A Good Mother, which... she's trying, at least, but it's. it's quite hard to find that balance of well-meaning and still-doing-damage. because i know they're not a good family to mike but apparently my subconscious disagrees with that on principle and thinks he deserves one, established characterisation and relationship dynamics be damned, and that's just !! it's annoying!!!! i'm trying to do an accurate character study here, which includes the Not Fantastic family dynamics!!!!!! wanting to give mike wheeler good things and accurately writing about mike wheeler's life are not easily compatible goals and it's very irritating

anyway. this last part will probably mean nothing (yet), but i keep being tempted to finish and publish the first part even knowing that that would kill my motivation to actually finish writing the rest of the story (don't ask, the demand-supply part of my brain is broken), just so that people can see the bedroom window scene. i am So Proud of the bedroom window scene it's unbelievable

[rayless-reblogs]

Thank you for tagging me, @iffylogic!

Currently Reading:

I just finished The Fasting Girl by Michelle Stacey, the (real, but very much speculated-over) account of Molly Fancher. In Brooklyn in the mid-1800s, she became famous for never eating -- for years and years, over a decade. Obviously this is a medical impossibility, but many people stood by her and claimed she was a living miracle. The book does a good job investigating both her story and this period in history and how it created Molly and other "fasting girls" who achieved some celebrity, looking at changes in medicine, science (hello, Darwin), emerging studies in psychology, gender/family roles, and religion that were making people, especially young women, feel several kinds of weird. The book of course deals extensively with disordered eating (and is somewhat out of date, being published in the early 2000s), and it's a bit longer than it needs to be, but I learned a lot and enjoyed reading it.

I'm now reading The Unpredictable Bride, a romance by Barbara Cartland in which she's trying very hard to be Georgette Heyer. BC isn't one of my favorite authors because her heroines are usually very wishy washy and sentimental and just... ninnies, honestly But this one so far has a lot more backbone and fun in her. We'll see how it goes.

Currently Watching:

Having gotten through Avonlea, I'm continuing my dive into early 90s period dramas by rewatching Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman. It's very earnest and often very awkward about it, but in a way that I enjoy, and there are always lots of horses on screen, so that's nice.

Next on my watch list:

I have no idea yet, so instead I'll say what I'm playing -- replaying Fate/Extra, which I hadn't touched in a few years. After that, I'm thinking of trying something new -- probably Scarlet Nexus. It shares some DNA with Tales of the Abyss and I've heard good things about it.

Current Obsession:

I really enjoyed The Caligula Effect 2, which I played last month, but sadly there isn't really enough fan content around to really build up a proper steamroller of obsession. But I've done a lot of my own Caligula art, and that'll be posted on and off. I'm also thinking of doing a long art project next year, which I don't want to promise, but I've started doing some sketches for.

I'm also hoping to have another book published this year (not the project I was working on during the summer -- an earlier book) and right now I'm in the process of working on the cover/back cover design, drawing the different elements and figuring out the layout. I haven't yet started the inner layout or the final edit, so it'll still be a little while before it's available.

And let's see, what else...? I tried Tazo's Turmeric Bliss tea the other day, that was really good!

Thanks again for the tag, Iffy! As always, if anyone sees this and wants to participate, consider yourself tagged.

[subjectnumberx]

Thumbnailing: Subject's Way

Thumbnails are an important workflow tool artists use to make creating their works more efficient. They are essentially tiny, low detail versions of the idea you may have in mind, and save time by helping you catch potential compositional errors, clashing colors in palettes(if you blob some colors on), and poses that simply might not.. work in character art as well as many other things not mentioned.

I am a very visual person and sometimes putting ideas to paper really helps me focus better on the task at hand. Organizing things into steps on the page really helps me not get overwhelmed. It might prove helpful to you as well.

In this tutorial, I'll take you through my workflow process when planning paintings and simple character illustrations.

I start off the process by doing a ton of sketches of whatever thing from many angles, poses, etc. Usually if I have a certain image in mine I simply sketch that and adjust little things like angle, placement of limbs, etc. Work teeny tiny, you can enlarge it later. I,t really depends on what the goal is for that piece what the process looks like. Here the goal was to just draw a character, so I have many options.

environment sketches look a bit different for me, as I will sketch them in literal cubes. I am still working through the technique. I just haven't gotten good enough at them yet to consider a tutorial by me would be helpful to anyone though.

Like with piece D, it's good to plan compositional elements here too. I added the moon that would go in the eventual background, swords in the hands of B and E, etc. Had I had more time, F would have gotten rough roses, but I digress.

After I have base sketches, I do very rough lines so I know what I'm looking at, and it primes me for what I could possibly have issues with in doing the final. I keep it VERY loose and don't dwell too much on details. If I'm drawing a character, I'm not even going to look up references, unless their silhouette is very complex. There is not much need for accuracy here. Just to nail down your subject's silhouette.

At this point, you can start eliminating which poses you don't want. Here I was very indecisive so I went through with sketching all of them.

At this step ill also take the time to plan variants if I feel like I would be indecisive about them/need them for certain platforms (optional).

Here's where things start to actually take the form of thumbnails. I work large and draw most of the anatomy of the subject so that things are positioned correctly in the frame. Draw the whole of something, even if you know it's going to get cropped out. There is nothing worse than trying to draw in a way that is already cropped, it messes up your anatomy bad, and you'll spend more time trying to fix it, especially if you are just starting out as an artist.

Physically drawing a box around them to help with framing is really good to help plan the composition of the final piece. Again, you can eliminate stuff here as well if they don't make interesting compositions. Consider the rule of thirds and how much breathing room you want or need in your piece. The one not in a box was eliminated because I didn't like the pose nor would it make a very interesting piece.

I also use different colors on the boxes so I can overlap them and keep my eyes from getting confused where one "drawing" ends and one begins.

If I'm planning portraits/art in my painterly style, I'll take the time to block in some colors just to see what I should shoot for in the final. I will also do several pairings of colors in their own sets of thumbnails if the piece needs it/i want varients. I highly suggest blobbing so that you can see how potential colors will play with one another. Learning the teeniest bit of color theory will help, I promise, but for now, i'lI'lll refrain from the mini-lecture.

these three two (you'll see), I figured would make better cel-shaded/quicker pieces due to how zoomed out they are, any true details I would want to focus on don't exactly work for my current style faraway. Be sure to tailor compositions that suit your style. I will be keeping these sketch ideas for future reference.

It's important to remember that just because an idea doesn't get used in this piece, that doesn't mean it can't be used in a further piece down the road. I actually have a horrible habit of deleting my thumbnails after I'm done with them, but if I'm thumbnailing in a sketchbook? I find myself browsing back over them for future pieces to get some rough ideas of what could work later.

One last thing, you don't have to plan as many thumbnails as I did, but I do suggest at least 3 or 4 to really stretch your creativity.

Thumbnails also make for a good warm-up. If you're curious, I did the initial sketches in this order: A C E D B F. I think it helped me loosen up a bit, but you can be the judge of that.

I went back and tried another approach for a painting, but now I have the base for 3 paintings I could pursue, albeit rough, but it's good to learn how to paint like a sculptor, I digress.

That's all there is to it. the key is being clean enough to get the idea down, but rough enough to save time. work small, using basic shapes to create silhouettes. You can enlarge it later and use it as a base sketch.

Last two cents: I've also learned that sometimes if a piece is just not working, it's probably more than likely a compositional issue, anatomy, or perspective, Which is why thumbnailing can help you catch these issues early.

happy drawing :)

a/n: this is my first time really creating a tutorial. this might not be groundbreaking information for some of you and that's okay. this tutorial was initially created for someone in an art server I'm in on Discord, hence the slide-text-slide format. I have taken the images and text from that and compiled them here to make it easier to pick up the tips. I do not consider myself a pro on any of the things mentioned by any means, merely my take on it all. Get multiple sources, educate yourself, practice, and find what works for you. - Sub

[pleasinglyforeboding]

Update on my Good Omens doll project

There's been a lot of progress since my last update. Here's some summary pics, with details about the dolls and clothes under the cut.

I hope you like hearing about this project and I am happy to answer any questions you have about how things are made and what I'm planning next. I'm going to try and update more often, with posts about individual accessories and clothes, as I've gotten better with the techniques and things aren't taking me as long.

Link to part 1

Crowley's head: I've completely redone Crowley's head as I wasn't happy with Crowley's hair colour from the first attempt. It just wasn't red enough. But I couldn't reroot that head; It was one of my first ever reroots and I used too big a needle and split the vinyl in a lot of places. The scalp was barely holding it together and it wasn't going to hold up to pulling out the hair and doing another reroot. So I bought another one of the same doll (Hunger Games, Catching Fire, Finnick) and rerooted the hair with a custom blend of red and brown saran hair. This also meant I had to redo the face and tattoo. As before, I left the shape of the eyes untouched. This time, I gave him more on an arched eyebrow. This looks better over his glasses and allows for some more variety when photographed in profile. His hair needs a bit of restyle (it's gone quite flat but he should be able to get a body upgrade soon, so I am waiting for that). Long term I'd like to look into making his short hair cut but straight short hair is very difficult to achieve on a 1/6 scale doll.

Introducing Aziraphale!

Aziraphale's head is from the Divergent 'Four' doll. If you're familiar with that movie, you are probably thinking that Theo James looks nothing like Micheal Sheen and you would be correct. Fortunately for me, the Four doll doesn't look much like Theo James so that's fine. I chose this head sculpt because it has the roundest features of all the Ken head sculpts I could get at the time. I modified the nose a little by carefully sanding the tip back to try and get some of Michael’s lovely upturned nose. I haven't captured it fully but it's a bit closer. I've tried to get his irises a stormy sea blue/grey. I think it came out pretty well and looks a lot closer to Aziraphale than I thought I would be able to get. I think the rounded eyebrows were particularly important in achieving that look. I am still trying to think of a way to blend the empty plug holes around his hairline a bit better. The hair is tightly curled 'ash blond' nylon blend (I find nylon holds a curl a bit better than saran).

I'll post about the PROCESS it has been to give this man shaped being a suitably soft corporation in an separate post because it's been a saga and I still want to make some tweaks.

Soft angel is soft.

Clothes

I've gotten much better at sewing small clothes as part of this project. Long term, I am hoping to have made every part of their two main outfits myself. So far, I have made Crowley's jeans, and Aziraphale's shirt and trousers. Crowley has the 2008 outfit (where he has long hair) and the 2019 outfit (where he has short hair). I am hoping to eventually do the jacket and vest from each but have him use the same jeans and undershirt. We'll see how I go. I love trying to get all the little details, like the rivets on Crowley's jeans and the cuffs of Aziraphale's shirt. The waistcoats are next on my list and I have already made a practice waistcoat for one of my Barbies, just so I can understand a bit more about how they work (See below).

Tall English Professor Barbie needs some matching shoes!

If you’re interested in my other Barbie collecting and crafts projects, you can follow Barbie_and_things on instagram,

[soo8inz]

five — "so if this doesn't come out well, i'll actually gouge out my own eyeballs."

after a lot of begging and nagging y/n was pulled out of the studio and into the small student lounge and sat at one of the tables.

"you haven't eaten since like yesterday probably, eat, then you can go finish your work.", ryujin sighed before getting her own food out.

"eating super early grosses me out and i didn't have time to eat lunch because of how back to back my classes are today.", y/n retaliated before starting to eat. but she couldn't deny that finally eating after hours of nonstop work didn't feel like some sort of heaven, like reaching an oasis in the middle of the desert.

ryujin simply stared at her friend before rolling her eyes and huffing. "how stubborn..", she thought to herself before returning to her food.

it was nearing 8pm and while that necessarily wasn't super late, it was late enough where there were barely any students roaming around the building save for the couple that stayed to finish works or professors that were grading and or working on their own pieces.

"how's the painting coming along?"

"don't know, haven't started it."

"what do you mean you haven't started it??"

"..i may have gotten distracted... and started working on something completely different."

"don't you have a critique for that painting soon?"

"i always have critiques.", y/n rolled her eyes and took a sip of her drink.

"my point still stands, and what got you so distracted that you had to start a completely different project."

"...dorian gray."

"the fucking soul sucking painting book? i thought you hated it."

"i have some criticism about it, but i got hit with inspiration so–"

"so you started a different painting."

"basically. anyways it's ok looking right now but it's not horrible so i think it'll come out pretty good once i'm done with it. besides, yeonjun is amazing help with modeling.", ryujin narrowed her eyes a bit but if y/n saw, she didn't say anything.

"how's your philosophy class going?"

"fucking horrible, who decided that immortalizing the words of a bunch of old ass men would be the best thing in the world like... i don't get it.", ryujin groaned and put her head in her hands.

"so you don't understand the material."

"of course i don't understand the material!"

"it's ok, if anything you could try bullshitting your essays like you did in your literature courses last year."

"at this rate i'll be bullshitting all the way til graduation."

"doesn't sound so bad, and besides you're not the only one doing it.", the two laughed and continued eating and conversing, and soon enough they were throwing away their trash and walking towards the painting studio.

the strong scent of chemicals and paint welcomed her back. before she had felt like she was suffocating when she would walk in, but enough time had passed that the headaches were no longer present and there was a sense of familiarity and some sort of comfort.

"i don't understand how you stay in here for hours.", ryujin sniffled and scrunched her nose. "i thought you said some of this was scentless."

"you get used to it, and that's what the bottles say but they do have their own smell, it's just not as strong.", y/n replied while the two walked over to one of the easels set up.

they both gazed upon the latest of y/n's personal projects; she was still in the process of blocking in colors onto the canvas, and when she was mostly done with those she would move onto other areas and start painting out details.

"so is he supposed to be dorian gray or?"

"yes and no? i took inspiration from dorian gray being basil hallward's muse that prompted the painting that absorbed his sins in the book. the posing and all that is more of how i thought his character would spend his days thinking of what to indulge in next after he had locked the painting away. it's also more modernized as you can tell by his clothes.", ryujin simply nodded along, it was times like these that her friend left her speechless. she knew how much she worked on her things and would often compliment her skills and work, but to hear more of the process, the concept and see the painting before it was finished was something completely different. it was different seeing y/n in her element.

"it looks amazing right now."

"i hope so, it took forever to find the reference photo i liked the most with posing and colors. so if this doesn't come out well, i'll actually gouge out my own eyeballs.", y/n huffed and sat down, taking out her brushes and palette full of different mixes of paint.

"well i'll be going now, good luck on this painting and please start your actual assignment.", ryujin said while making her way towards the door of the studio.

"yeah yeah, i'll start it... at some point."

"no all nighter procrastination!"

"no promises!", and with that the door closed and y/n turned to look at the time on her phone.

"8:43, that's not too bad."

there was another long night of painting ahead of her.

taglist: @yyx2 @yeonyeonyeonjun

[one-smuts]

.......ok!

What I can't Have.

Summary: Shinsou falls in love with Denki just in time for Denki to fall out of love with him.

Ships: Denki/Jiro- fluff, Denki/Shinsou- Angst.

Pov: Shinsou

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was happy for him at first. Honestly I was.

It was getting sad for awhile, the way he followed me around like a lost puppy. The lost lovestruck look in his eyes when he looked at me. I felt like a monster, but at the time, I didn't feel that way for Kaminari.

He was my friend, my best friend even. But my lover? I just couldn't phantom it. I remember sitting him down to tell him. He seemed somehow shocked I knew how he felt. The thing about Kaminari is, he wears his emotions on his sleeve. For better or worse.

"So...you know how I feel?" He said, a spark of hope in his voice.

"I do."

"Aaand?..." Christ. He was gonna make me say it.

"I-I'm sorry Kaminari. I just dont feel the same. You're a great guy and all, I just don't feel that way for you. I hope we can stay friends though."

I think I watched his soul shatter that day.

I didn't see Denki for a few weeks after that. Im pretty sure he was avoiding me. Not like I could blame him though. It's hard to get rid of feelings when you see that person everyday. I missed him though. I missed him so much. Looking back, that probably should have been my frist hint.

When he started texting me again, it was a relief. I had my best friend back! And we xkuld actually talk and hang out now. No more lovey eyed guilt trips he didn't even know he was taking me on. Apprently, he'd gotten really into music to process his emotions, and it really helped him heal.

We have Jiro to thank for that.

I don't hate Kyouka. I think she's actually a wonderful girl, and I nothing but thankful for her, for being there for Kaminari when I couldn't be.

That said, the moment he introduced us j saw it. He had that same love struck look in his eyes. It didn't surprise me. Kaminari had the heart of a hopeless romantic, it was made of elastic.

The difference was, she had the same eyes for him. It shocked no one when they started dating. And look, I was happy for them! Denki deserved someone who could love on his level and Jiro fit the bill. She was kind and caring, and they both loved music. I couldn't believe it, but she tought his tone deaf ass to play guitar! They have a small band together now. They make amazing music.

And they really are adorable together. I started inviting Jiro to our hangouts, so she knew she was welcome. At first, I thought I was annoyed at being a third wheel. Watching them curl into eachother on the couch, while I sat on the floor on movie night. How they would get into these feedback loops of just gushing over one another. And don't even get me started on the playlisys.

But, slowly I realized it was more. It was in the way he held her close at all times. They way he talk about her, as if she was some divine gift. It was in the way he looked at her, with those love struck puppy eyes.

Fuck, I missed those eyes being on me.

Leave it to me to only realize I want someone once I couldn't have them. My stomach would turn into knots when's I saw him. My head would feel light, and on the rare occasion it was just us, I'd get damn near giddy. I was a love struck fool.

And, maybe it really was just so I could heal and move on. Maybe it's because I'm selfish. Maybe it was because some tiny part of me hoped he'd leave her for me. But, I told him exactly how I felt.

It started out normal, we were playing Mortal Kombat, but, I guess he noticed my game was off.

"Alright, what's wrong?"

"What do you mean?"

"You lost."

"I lose all the time."

"Yea, but not with noob!" His laughed was always so adorable. "Noobs your main! So what's going on?"

I got cold feet at the question. I was I was sure I wanted to tell him, but now...

"Im fine, I promise."

"Hitoshi, you know you can tell me anything, right?"

"Yea?"

"So why are you keeping secrets now?" He asked. He was right. It didn't ruin things when I rejected him, why wouldn't work out the same way in reverse? And his smiled was so warm, and inviting.

"I-..I think I love you."

"Aww, I love you too bro!"

"No, Kaminari, I mean I love you."

His smile dropped.

"What?"

"Look, I know that I said I didn't feel the same, and at the time I didn't, but I love you! Seeing you with Jiro made me realize, I-"

"Hitoshi, that's not fair." Denki said, uncharacteristically cold. I could see the tears form in his eyes. But, it wasn't the same as last time I saw them. These weren't tears of heart break.

"I waited a whole year for you. I wanted you, for so long, and you told me you didn't want me. Not the other way around. And now thG I'm happy and everything is good, and, for the first time in forever, I feel like I'm not carrying bricks on my chest, you wanna do this? Hitoshi, do you like seeing me hurt?"

"No! Kaminari, I would never do anything to hurt you!"

"Then why tell me?! What did you expect?! For me to just leave Jiro and come running into your arms? I love Jiro. And I'm pretty sure she loves me. She loves me enough not to try and crash everything I worked so hard to build." He was crying now. I wondered how over me he really was. I wondered if that was selfish to think.

"No, I don't want to break anything you built-up. I just had to get it off my own chest. I don't want you to leave Jiro, I just...I dont know."

"I-..I dont know either man. I'm sorry but, I really don't feel the same anymore. I don't know why I'm so mad about it." He confessed. He refused to make eye contact. "I guess I'm just mad that I spent months miserable over the fact that you'd never love me. And, I guess it all feels like it could have been avoided now."

"Im sorry."

"But, I don't know if I want to have avoided it." He wiped his eyes with his sleeve. He wasn't crying anymore, but his eyes still had had a sharpness.

"If I avoided it, I wouldn't have gotten so close to Jiro...but...I just.." He cut his own thoughts off with a groan, hiding his face in his hands.

"Im sorry."

"I know you are." He mumbled. He looked over at him. "I loved you Hitoshi. I really truly did."

"Its not too late, I-" that was the wrong thing to say. A scowl came across his face.

"Yes it is. I loved you. Ed. Past tense. My emotions and how I feel don't get pushed to the side because you finally came you your sense and realized how you felt. My relationship isn't going to just end because you want it to."

He grabbed his backpack and stood up. I wanted to reach out for him and make him stay. But, I knew that would be wrong.

"I-I'm sorry Hitoshi. I just dont feel the same. You're a great guy and all, I just don't feel that way for you anymore. I hope we can stay friends though." He mumbled as he walked to the door. He looked back at me.

"I'll see you later man."

"See you later."

And thats where we are now. I've been laying on my bed going over this entire situation in my head for hours. I definitely could have gone about that last interaction diffrent, but, it doesn't matter. I missed my shot.

Stupid late stage crushes.

I can't help but think about how he must have felt just like this all that time ago. And I feel almost worse knowing I put him through it.

But, I know I can't lose him. He's my best friend, I'd be devastated to lose him completely.

So, I guess I gotta just get over it.

_________________________________________

A/N: hope ya like it @firelove151! I haven't ever really written anything like this before so, as always constructive feedback is welcome!

[nightshadeshadow123]

Paw prints on the Agent's heart🐾part 8:

Hey guys. I'm back from holiday and are here to gift ya'll with the next chapter. I hope you guys enjoy and again thanks for all the love and support. Ah geez, I'm making this sound like a slight bit of Lena x reader too(probs because of a not so tiny crush on her😂)y'all please forgive me for the smudge of this.

Tag list: @retro-aesthe @blackluthxr @samustar @aznblossom @ibe-anne @lezzzbehonesthere

🐺🐾🐺🐾🐺🐾🐺🐾🐺🐾🐺🐾🐺🐾🐺🐾

"Have you found out anything yet?" Alex asked, masking the desperation in her voice but Winn caught onto it easily.

"Alex No. Stop asking me that every two minutes and leaning over my back like a crow, and staring at the screen won't make her jump out of it magically either." Winn snapped before sending the agent a apologetic look.

"I'm sorry Alex. I know you are worried more than..." Winn paused when Alex gave him a death glare after sitting down on a black chair next to him.

"Oh don't try to fool me. We all know you have a crush on her and you clearly are worried about her safety no matter how much you try to hide it behind your stoic agent facade." Winn went on before hacking away on his computer again as the other agents bustle about in the background.

Alex felt a flush rushing to her cheeks and the tips of her ears turning red at what Winn said. "Shut it Scott and just work on finding her location before I slap the stupid out of you."

Winn smiled to himself. "Oh how you wound me Danvers." Winn said jokingly but continued on the computer.

"Where is Kara?" Winn whispered to Alex suddenly who were absentmindedly playing with the sleeve of her black suit in worry, brown eyes shooting up to look at the back of his head.

Alex pursed her lips together before speaking again, looking down at her combat boots. "She went to tell Lena about (Y/N). I just hope Lena don't freak out on Kara for not telling her last night but we didn't want to worry her. I think even (Y/N) wouldn't like it if Lena worry herself too much and get less rest than she already does." She explained, briefly looking up at Winn and making eye contact before looking down at her hands, fidgeting with her sleeve again.

"She really do care alot about Lena. I'm glad that they know each other." Winn rubbed at the back of his head before turning back to his computer.

"Yeah she does. They both do." Alex whispered and gave a sad smile to mask her jealousy.

Just as Winn went to open his mouth to talk, J'onn walked into the quarters and stopped next to them, grabbing both their attention by clearing his throat.

Alex and Winn immediately looked up at the martian.

"Have you found out anything?" J'onn questioned, eyes briefly scanning over the computer infront of Winn.

"Sadly no but I haven't given up yet. These people have many places and some are hidden away way to good for comfort. They move a lot and split up often to confuse us and I can't pin point who of them got her and where." Winn explained while J'onn let out a sigh, arms folded over his chest, dark eyes watching Alex from the corners as she ran a hand frustratedly through her hair.

"The CADMUS agent still refuse to talk either. All we have gotten out of him so far is rude insults. I guess if he keeps that up I might have to resolve to get the information out of him another way I don't like too much."

Alex suddenly got up and stormed of to where they are keeping the CADMUS agent in a sealed cell while J'onn unfolded his arms.

"I should probably go after her before she beats his behind into oblivion." J'onn left after her with that said.

"And come to me or Alex if you've found anything." J'onn called over his shoulder before disappearing behind two sliding doors down a hallway.

"Righto, let's get started again." Winn rubbed at his neck before turning his full attention back on the task at hand.

"Where can they possibly be keeping you?"

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"Kara?" Lena walked into her office and noticed the blonde sitting on the white couch in her office.

The blonde Kryptonians head snapped up to the female Luthor, giving her a faint hello and a nervous smile.

"What are you doing here?" Lena questioned, eyebrow raised at the blonde as she walked over to sit on the sofa across from Kara.

"Hi Lena. Your secretary let me in and told me to wait for you here." Kara explained, looking down at her folded hands.

Lena straightened her back, leaning back against the comfy sofa, crossing her one leg over the other, focusing her attention on Kara.

"Where is (Y/N)? Is she okay? You haven't called me back last night." Lena questioned, worry in her voice but most of all authority for in case the blonde might lie to her.

"Uh...about that..."Kara began, nervously fidgeting with her glasses, not too sure how the Luthor will react at her next words.

"Go on." Lena urged, head half tilted to the side, watching the nervous blonde with a icey look.

"She got kidnapped." Kara finally finished after Lena's urge, trying not to cringe and seem to nervous under Lena's icey glare. Kara would never admit it openly but Lena did scare her atleast a little bit.

Lena shot forward, green eyes full of concern. "What? But how? By who? And how do you know?" She demanded, not caring to hide the desperation in her smooth voice.

Kara wring her hands nervously together, lips qursed before looking back at Lena.

"Apparently a group called CADMUS broke into her house and caught her off guard and shot her. When I got there, her room was thrased and uh...Supergirl was there and she told me." Kara hoped Lena would bought the few lies in there and not get exterminated by the female Luthor.

Lena tried to process what Kara just told her, brows furrowing in deep worry before her eyes turned icey again as she looked up at the blonde.

"Kara, why would Supergirl tell you, a random stranger what happened to her?" Lena questioned suspiciously, green eyes narrowing at Kara.

"Uh..."Kara nervously cleared her throat, once again awkwardly fiddling with her glasses. "Supergirl is a friend of mine...somewhat after we've met...when I interviewed her for CatCo once." Kara lied through her teeth, feeling that she might faint out of nervousness at any moment.

Lena narrowed her eyes even more. "You never mentioned being friends with her. And the most important question is why in the world didn't you call me last night to tell me she was kidnapped Kara?!" She raised her voice slightly making Kara flinch back but ignoring it.

Kara looked down at her light pink shoes, lips pursed once again. "I didn't want to worry you. And I'm certain that (Y/N) wouldn't be to happy if you are worried and get even less sleep than you already do." The blonde Kryptonian try to defend herself, getting up from the white sofa, her pink purse clutched in one hand in a firm grip out of nervousness.

Lena got up as well, taking a deep breath before letting it out again in a frustrated huff, pinching the bridge of her nose before rubbing at her pale temple.

"I know. I'm sorry. I'm just worried about her and upset you didn't told me last night." Lena walked over to her desk, black heels clanking against the white tiled floor of her office.

"I really must be going. I have to get back to work. Before Mister Snapper snaps my neck for being late." Kara rushed to the door, halfway out the door already before Lena stopped her, already sat on her deck chair behind her desk.

"Kara, let me know if you find out anything please." Lena pleaded, hands folded on her dark wood desk.

"I will do so. And you know...please don't do anything reckless against CADMUS Lena, I know you are worried but just try to stay calm." Kara urged.

Lena simply waved her of with one hand before typing away on her tablet after taking it out of her bag. "Bye Kara."

Kara let out a breath and left through the door, closing it behind her with a faint click.

"Please be okay (Y/N). I swear I'll strangle that woman with my bare hands if she hurts you again and dare show her face in my presence ever again."

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"Wakey wakey stupid girl!" One of the CADMUS agents yelled, yanking your head back by your (y/l) (h/c) hair with a painful grip making you gritt your teeth in annoyance, (e/c) snapping op to glare into his dull grey eyes.

"We didn't give you permission to go to sleep again you stupid girl!" He growled out, grabbing you by the neck, tipping the chair that you are painfully tied to with kryptonite infused chains backwards, restricting your breath more and more by each passing second making you struggle to breath and glaring at him with hatred in your eyes.

"Butch don't kill her yet. Boss won't be happy and will skin us all alive if we kill her and her son's favourite weapon." One of the younger agents rush over with panic, grabbing at the arm that the agent is chocking you with.

The agent called Butch let out a groan and released you making you fall to the floor with the chair, coughing and wheezing for air, face flushed red slightly as the agent laughed lowly as he stood next to the tipped chair, looking down at you with a malicious look in his eyes while the younger agent nervously fumbled around before pulling the chair and you upright again with a struggle, you could clearly tell he must be a new recruit and also quite young like the one you've injured badly when they attacked and kidnapped you.

You looked around the vast dark room that seems to be endless and nothing much in sight save for the few agents and a few tables where they have all kinds of experimenting tools and different liquids in bottles. You aren't sure in what kind of place you are kept in, you only know that it must be huge and there is barely any light in the room, just the weak one hanging on the roof above you.

Groaning internally when thinking back to the moment you were taken by CADMUS and Lillian Luthor's smirking face right before you passed out giving you goosebumps all over again while the agent named Butch and the younger agent was having a tiny argument by now.

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It was well past midnight when Winn came rushing to J'onn, Alex and Kara still trying to get information out of the CADMUS agent to no avail, almost smacking into Kara's back and gaining their attention by the door slamming close behind him.

"Winn? I thought you went home by now." J'onn raised an eyebrow at him.

Winn closed his eyes for a moment, regaining himself before looking at the four looking at him now.

"Uh no. You did say I can go home and get some rest but I've chosen to stay. And I've managed to find something." Winn explained, ignoring the CADMUS agent that was glaring at them from his sealed cell behind them.

J'onn looked a bit more interested now, hoping for the best.

"What is it Scott?" He questioned in his deep voice while Alex and Kara focused on him entirely now too.

"I may or may not have find a possible location or two where they might be keeping (Y/N). There are two groups that seem to have settled down at two locations but the other six groups keep moving about every two hours. I think maybe we can check out those two locations." Winn explained eagerly but not yet wanting to get everyone's hopes up and might end up being wrong.

J'onn contemplated this information over for a few minutes, mauling it over in his head before looking at Kara and Alex that was now next to him.

"What do you two think?" He questioned, already knowing the answer full well but voicing the question anyways.

Alex was the first to speak, a spark of hope and determination in her voice only J'onn and Kara caught onto. "I think we should." Kara eagerly agreed with her sister.

J'onn looked at them for a moment longer before speaking up. "Okay then. But we must send a group to each location at the same time, Alex you'll lead the first group and Ka...Supergirl you'll assist and lead the second group to the other location." J'onn explained, making sure they understand the plan.

Kara went to protest but Alex cut her off. "I'll be fine to lead a group alone. You must assist the other group. I'm capable of protecting myself." Alex left no room for argument for Kara, knowing her sister was only being protective but there wasn't time for that and they were both needed at different locations.

J'onn motioned them to follow him and Winn out of the prison room and led them to the main computers room.

Once they ware there J'onn turned and putted a hand on Kara's armored shoulder. "Kara, your sister will be fine. I'll be going in her group too if it will ease your worry."

Kara nodded her head after a few moments. "I know. And thanks."

J'onn gave her a tiny hint of a smile before turning and walking further into the room, clearing his throat to gain all the agents in the rooms attention as Alex stood to his left with Winn while Kara stood on his right, arms folded over the familiar house of El crest on her superhero suit.

He made a quick explanation of the mission and plan at hand before dividing them in a two groups of six members next to Alex and one group of five next to Kara and getting the locations from Winn.

"The first location is an very old abandoned asylum a few miles out of National City in a wooded area." Winn informed and J'onn nodded.

"Okay, Alex and our group will take a look at that location."

Winn nodded back before looking at Kara and the group of eager agents behind her, feeling happy and prideful that they seem so eager to get you back too.

"The second location is a abandoned rundown subway station that aren't used anymore right in middle of National City. It's seems to be a new favourite place of CADMUS."

Kara unfolded her arms and turned to J'onn and gave him a nod.

J'onn lifted his head slightly in acknowledgement before turning back to the eager agents.

"Suit up, get your weapons ready and get to your assigned location." He ordered with authority making them yell out. "Yes Director Sir!" before taking their leave to get ready.

J'onn thanked Winn before he turned to face Alex and Kara.

"Let's hope she at either one of those locations and that's she is still alive."

Alex quipped up, already fully geared(Just like Kara is already too) since she haven't bothered to change when they started searching for you. "She better be alive. I think she's to stubborn to die or get killed too easily."

J'onn shook his head at that, a hint of a smile at his lips. "You might be right about that." He then turned to Winn.

"Winn, thank you for all the help in finding her." J'onn began and Winn gave him a awkward pat on the shoulder.

"It-it's not a problem Director Sir. Anything to help some friends and people in need." Winn rubbed at his chin.

"Glad to always have your help. Can you please have backup agents ready for both groups incase we might need more help." J'onn ordered and Winn gave a nod.

"Yes Sir." Winn replied before taking his leave as fast as possible, phone already out.

"Let's go rescue (Y/N)." Kara putted an arm around Alex's shoulder and gave her light hug. "And please be careful out there. You never know what that Luthor woman have a her sleeve."

Alex smile at her, patting her arm in assurance. "I'll be okay sis, this won't be my first time without you. And please be careful too." She assured before pulling away from Kara's side hug when J'onn walked up to them with the now fully geared agents behind him.

"Ready to save (Y/N)?"

"Always." Came Alex and Kara's answer at the same time.

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You awoke to loud snickers and jeering of the CADMUS agents when the slammed what you assume a metal door close from somewhere behind you.

"Look at what I've caught." You heard the familiar tuneless voice of Butch as the other agents start to snicker again and pull faces at what or who you guess he must have in his hateful grasp.

"Boss will be so proud I think. Maybe she'd put me in a even higher rank." He boasted and shuffled closer to where you sat, still tied to the chair as you tried to look over your shoulder to see what's the whole commotion but to no avail, only hurting your neck even more.

"Put on the lights!" Butch yelled out in his nasty voice, making you cringe a little.

Suddenly there were more light in the room than what the weak light already offered, making you screw your (e/c) shut and groan out.

When you opened your eyes and finally see the place you were in you could feel your skin crawl all over again with goosebumps.

"No wonder this place feels so ghastly." You said under your breath.

Suddenly you heard heavy footsteps behind you and what sounds like slight struggling and voice that was muffled by a hand or something.

You tried to look again but only managed to strain your neck painfully again, making you look forward again and not to mention the painfull ache those kryptonite bullets have left behind when they've shot you back at the apartment, they've found a great pleasure in digging it out of your (s/t) flesh when they've brought you here, the dried blood smeared all over your skin and ruined superhero suit.

"Oh, she can't wait to see what I've caught. Such an impatient little bitch." Butch sneered and then proceeded to throw a very disgruntled and distraught figure on the floor with a painful thud right infront of you as the CADMUS agents cheer loudly by now at who it is.

The person sat up slowly and made eye contact with you, bloodshot light green eyes meeting with your (e/c) eyes making you tense.

"Lena?" You questioned confusedly, way beyond confused now. How in seven hell's have they caught her and where? Was the questions in your mind.

She certainly have seen better days. There was a blood trail running down her chin from a wound on her bottom lip where she clearly was punched by a fist, her long hair a mess. It made your blood boil to think that they have hurted her, glaring at her blood that is smeared on the brut of agent's right hand.

"(Y/N)." Lena said softly, relief filling her eyes when seeying that you are mostly alive, just the blood and wounds that cover your body that still have her on edge.

Butch motioned to a middle aged agent to bring another chair which he quickly ran to do and grabbed one that the others aren't sitting on, putting it against your back.

Butch grabbed Lena by the hair roughly, a low hiss falling from her bloodied lips as he proceeded to force her onto the chair and tying her up too against you so you are back to back.

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Gosh, so many ideas but I don't know which one's to use in the next chapter. Hope this chapter wasn't a disappointment to any of you but I'm trying my best.

[xxbangchansidedishxx]

Weak- part 2

Jeongin X Hyunjin

Trigger warning: suicide, self harm, major character death.

Plot: Hyunjin is dead and the boys are left to cope but things are only about to get even harder.

That night Jeongin lay alone in the room he shared with Hyunjin. He couldn't get the image out of his head. He wanted him back. How could he just be gone forever? Shakily he slipped out of bed and crawled into Hyunjin's. It still smelt like him. Memories of times where the two lay together watching movies and talking about life and comforting each other flashed through his mind. They could never do that again. He pressed his head into Hyunjin's pillow inhaling his scent as tears soaked the soft material. That's when he heard a rustling noise. Coming from under the pillow. He reached under to see what it was. That's when he was greeted by a piece of paper.

He squinted his blurry eyes trying to focus on the words.

Read incase of death:

If you are reading this that means I'm gone. Please don't be sad. It's for the best. I'm so sick of everything. The worst thing is I don't even know why. I'm living with this heavy feeling in my chest and this voice in my head screaming at me that I'm not good enough. It's been getting louder and louder and now I just want to scream. I feel like I'm drowning in emotions and it's too much to handle. I'm expected to always be perfect, always be on time, stick to strict diets, work and train all the time. I love my job and I love all of you. I am thankful for where I have gotten in my life and I appreciate the love and support that stay have given me throughout the years but maybe this life just wasn't for me. I thought it was until the voice started screaming. I tried to ignore it but I just couldn't. It's hard to explain. Anyway please know that it's not your fault, Chan, Felix, Jisung, Lee Know, Changbin and Seungmin, I love you all so much. We have really had fun over the years haven't we? I'm sorry for putting you through this and I'm so sorry for whoever found me. Jeongin, I love you. It feels good to finally say it. I love you more than I could ever tell you when I was alive. Our countless nights we spent cuddling and just being together meant the world to me. Perhaps they meant more to me tho because as time went on I realised that I love you more than I should. I just want to kiss your cute little face and shower you in love but I know you wouldn't feel the same. I brought you a gift, it's in my bedside table, please keep it with you always and know that I'm by your side. Please don't be sad and if you need me just look to the stars. I'll be watching over.

- Hwang Hyunjin.

The young man began to cry even harder. He was so stupid. He couldn't believe that Hyunjin loved him. Maybe he would still be alive if Jeongin had the courage to confess his feelings as well.

He reached over to Hyunjin's bedside table, sliding the draw open slowly and rummaged through until he came across a box.

He opened the box gasping when he saw what was inside. It was a beautiful ring, gold with a large Dimond that looked like it had the galaxy inside it. Other clear diamonds either side of it.

He slipped it onto his shaky finger and took out a note that was inside.

Out of all the stars in this Galaxy you are the prettiest of them all. You outshine even the moon. Make me the happiest man alive and stay by my side forever. Yang Jeongin, I love you. Please be mine.

- Hwang Hyunjin

Ps: the Dimond I chose is called a salt and pepper Dimond. People say it looks like the galaxy. It's super pretty! But not as pretty as your eyes hehe ❤️

Oh god. He's such a dork. Such a fucking perfect man. So thoughtful and kind. Jeongin hugged the note tightly. If he was still here he could be hugging him instead. He wanted to be lay with him giggling and kissing his stupid perfect little face . How could he ever get over Hwang Hyunjin? That night he fell asleep imagining being wrapped in the elders warm embrace.

When light peaked through the windows reality hit again. Hyunjin was gone, and Jeongin was head over heels for the man and now there was nothing he could do. Then it dawned on him. He should probably let the other members know about the suicide note. He sighed before picking up the piece of paper and making his way to the living room. Walking past the bathroom he froze. There was Chan on his hands and knees, scrubbing away the blood of Hyunjin. His chest felt heavy and he began to shake again.

"Oh my god I'm sorry, I should have shut the door. I- I just figured it should be cleaned up sooner or later and I didn't want to put anyone else through it."

"I-it's okay. Channie I found this under Hyunjin's pillow last night. I thought I should let you know. He also left me this." He showed Chan the ring as he handed him the suicide note.

"C-come on, we should read this with the boys."

He shakily stood up and made his way to the living room with Jeongin.

They all sat around as Chan read out loud , his voice breaking as he cried .

"So he liked Jeongin?"

Felix went over to hug the young man.

"This must be even harder for you now... knowing that."

Jisung sympathised with the boy.

"His funeral is tomorrow. This is all happening so fast. I've not even accepted that he's gone yet." Sobbed Jeongin.

"The boys all sat comforting each other until they decided it was best to just take some more time alone to process things.

Jeongin was sat back in Hyunjin's bed reading the note that was written for him over and over again.

He wanted to be with Hyunjin. He couldn't live knowing that they could have been together. Thoughts of how the future could have turned out clouded his brain. They could have been together, stargazing, sharing soft kisses as they giggled holding each other close. That's what could have been.

He needed Hyunjin.

Slowly he made his way back to that same bathroom. Carrying the note with him, reciting the sweet words in his head over and over again. He locked the door behind him. Looking at the floor a lot of the blood had been cleaned up now but there was still some dried up on the floor. He scanned the floor and that's when he saw it. The bloody blades that Hyunjin had used to do it. He sat down leaning against the shower and picking up the cold metal. His brain went wild. He read the note one more time before pressing the sharp edge against his own wrist. He pressed down piercing through his skin, wincing at the pain he dragged down slicing a deep cut into his honey skin. He gasped realising what he had just done. Fuck how could he do this to his members. They were already going through enough with Hyunjin being gone . And now him...

his brain began to cloud over as the crimson liquid oozed out of his wrist and onto the white floor. He read the note again whispering to himself

"I'll see you soon Jinnie. We can be together I promise."

That's when everything went black.

"Innie come out of the bathroom."

No response.

"Innie what's taking you so long?"

No response.

Lee Know took the earring from his ear and began to pick the lock, relieved when he heard it unlock.

He opened the door immediately collapsing when he saw it.

"Oh god, oh god no. I-Innie."

He scrambled over to the boy pressing two fingers against his neck. No pulse.

Screams left his mouth as he begged for the young man to wake up. The rest of the members came running when they heard it. Tears welled up in their eyes. They knew he was gone....

Jisung called an ambulance his voice nothing but a hoarse whisper.

"P-please come quickly. My friend has killed himself."

Again they all watched as the body of someone they all greatly cared about was carried away.

-

Hyunjin's funeral was postponed. It only seemed right to wait until Jeongin's body was prepared for his.

They decided on a joint funeral. Hundreds of people piled into the room where Hyunjin and Jeongin were lay in an open casket. They were placed together. Finally reunited. Sobs filled the room as the service went on and fans showed up from across the country to pay their respects outside. The two boys looked peaceful . Almost like they were sleeping. Chan stood infront of their coffin placing a single red rose on each of their chests.

He wanted to be with them for as long as possible. This was the last time he would ever see their faces and he wanted to remember every little detail. He never wanted to forget the two talented beautiful boys that came into his life and saved him when he almost couldn't save himself. If only he could have done the same.

"Jinnie, Jinnie."

The young man heard a voice. He was floating up, he was amongst fluffy clouds.

That's when he saw it.

"Hyunjin!"

He ran towards the blonde man hugging him tight, tears spilling from his face.

"I can't believe you, idiot."

He slapped his shoulder sobbing into his chest.

"Hey hey Innie. it's okay. I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry."

They both held each other tightly.

"Hey look at me. Why are you here."

The teary boy raised his head to look at the beautiful man.

"I got your note. I love you Hyunjin I can't live without you."

Hyunjin's face fell. He killed himself because of him?

"Hyunjin say something."

The boy pleaded.

He just grabbed Jeongin's face attaching their lips into a passionate desperate kiss. He had wanted to do this for years.

When they pulled away to breathe Jeongin smiled amongst tears.

"We can be together now Innie. Forever. Even if it's not the best circumstances we can be together. I love you so much. I'm so sorry for what I did, I didn't want you to find me like that." Now it was Hyunjin's turn to cry.

Jeongin just pressed his lips against his reassuring him that everything was going to be okay. They had each other now and they could spend forever together. Watching over their members and making memories together. They held hands as they walked into the light.

This was only the beginning.

[19umbrellas]

Villain I appear to be || Diego Hargreeves x Reader

Description: You were the eighth member of the infamous Umbrella Academy. Your adopted father, Reginald Hargreeves, had raised you and your seven other siblings to fight crime and stop evil, however, as you grew older you found yourself straining farther and farther away from the life of a hero your father always wanted you to be.

This will be a One-shot series or something? I don't really know what it's called. It's like, same title and concept but different stories and pairings per chapter. If that makes sense. ùwú

Pairing: Diego x Reader

Word Count: 2829

ONE-SHOT

Two security guards and their police dog stood at the entrance of the city's most extravagant art museums. CCTV cameras were looming over their heads, turning every so often in order to scan the vicinity for any threats or suspicious behavior.

This museum always had strict security staff since this building contained many priceless art pieces that are worth more than an entire town. Tonight, however, their usual security had increased tenfold because the museum had received a new contemporary piece from one of the world's most well-known artists. It was the newest piece from her and she decided to hold an unveiling party in this very building. She trusted the museum to protect her work and, for good measure, she hired her own defense against robbers.

She paid a good amount of money to a security agency lend her their best men to help protect her most valuable work. She was able to recruit fifteen highly trained soldiers and one special agent who she hired in secret. By nightfall, all the security guards were in their normal positions while the hired guns waited inside for an attack. The place was locked up tighter than most prisons. Even a rat couldn't get in without being shot or mauled by an aggressive German Shephard.

But of course, for you, this is nothing but childs play.

You were crouched on the roof, your entire body blended into the shadows except for your (e/c) eye as you observed the guards below. Scoffing when one of them jumped at the scampering fox. "This is the top of the line security Madame Sol was bragging on about?" you cringed as you shook your head, standing up and walking over to the edge. "Is she trying to mock me?" you silently jumped down behind the two security guards without them noticing. Their dog however instantly perked at the slight sound of your heels hitting the ground. You smirked as you crawled backwards and phased through the wall before the dog could turn around.

You looked up with awe at the architecture of the inside. The last time you were here, you were with your siblings trying to stop a group of thieves from stealing precious art. Oh, how time changes. You smiled to yourself as you took a quick look around before phasing inside one of the huge cylindrical pillars as two men wearing camo uniforms passes by. Once they were distant enough you slowly poked your head out and looked around. When the coast was clear you quietly sprinted out and strategically avoided all the cameras inside.

You pressed your back to the wall as you sneaked a glance over at the two men standing silently in front of a large wooden door. Humming in delight, you suppressed a soft giggle that went up your throat. "This will be fun." you said as you phased into the wall.

The two grunts stood attentively, their eyes glued to what was in front of them. Suddenly a buzz cut through the silence and a strong voice spoke through their radios. "Halpert, Scott, do you read me, over?" the voice said one of them took the radio into his hands and pressed the speak button. "Loud and clear, over." the voice came again. "I might need some back up down at the basement." he said. "I think I saw unauthorized personnel running around. Can one of you come over here, over." the two guards looked at each other and nodded. "I'll be right down, over." the one holding the radio walked away while the other guard stood at the center of their position, not even batting an eye.

After a few minutes, a loud rattling captured the guards attention and he quickly pointed his gun to one of the paintings. A portrait of a woman clad in a black veil was starting to shake violently as it's wooden frame banged on the wall. The guard slowly walked over and stopped in front of it. He inspected it for a minute before he pressed the gun's nose to the painting's frame making it stop moving. He was about to pull his gun away but suddenly a hand shot out of the painting and forcefully grabbed onto his face, covering his mouth as he screamed. (h/c) hair started to poke out as well until suddenly a head was floating right in front of his. The figures face was covered in her hair making her seem more menacing and scary. The guard was having a hard time processing what was happening and had a hard time moving his limbs due to shock and fear. You tilted your head upward a bit, showing him your eyes as you smirked and put a finger on your lips while saying, "Shh, the sun has set. It's time for bed.". The hand you used to cover his mouth suddenly emitted knock-out gas that quickly rendered the poor man unconscious.

You stepped out of the wall and fixed the glove on your hand that still had some fumes leaking out of it. You blew on the flat nozzle on your glove, pushing away all the remaining smoke before you grabbed a hold of the man and hid him in a dark corner. With that out of the way, you dusted your hands and skipped inside the door. "Most secure building in the city my ass." you mumbled cockily as you stood in front of the podium. The room was dark, and the only light source was coming from one spot light that shone above the beautiful ostrich egg that was purely mad with diamonds and other precious stones. You pursed your lips at the piece of art before approaching it. "Not your best work Madame."

You heard a click behind you as you felt a gun pressing to your back when your fingers brushed the luminous egg. "Step away from the egg and put your hands up." your eyes widened for a bit but your shock didn't last long. You chuckled as you turned around. "Congratulations." you said. "You're being very rude." before the man could react you gave him a swift kick on the head and knocked him out. You huffed and turned back to the art piece. "Alright, take two." you lifted up the egg from the bottom and examined it in the light. You mumbled the possible prices you could sell this at as you quietly marveled at its colors.

"So you're the special agent Madame hired?" you suddenly said aloud before placing the egg inside the small messenger bag that you brought with you. "Don't even bother throwing one off your precious knives at me, I'll probably just catch it." You looked to the side as a familiar man walked into the light. Diego crossed his arms. "Haven't heard from you in awhile (y/n). I was scared you might have gotten killed in a dirty alleyway or something." he said sarcastically. You laughed dryly, not taking your eyes off of his hands that both held double-sided knives. "Sorry, Diego, I just didn't have time to call is all. Work has been really hectic lately. You understand, don't you?" you said as you slowly walked backwards but Diego took a step forward everytime you did. "You got dad really worried, you know." he gave you a look when you let out a cackle. "When did you start to care how the old bastard thought?"

"Ever since he told me what you've been doing this past few years." Before you could say anything Diego already threw one of his knives at you but you were able to catch it with ease. You sighed in annoyance as you threw the knife in front of him. "It's been a long night Diego. I don't want to fight you." you said but Diego was already in a fighting stance as he cracked his neck. "Too bad." he lunged towards you and you blocked his fists before it made contact with your body. The two of you fought gracefully around the room, Diego moving more on the offense while you just tried to block all of his blows.

After a while, it didn't look like Diego was backing down and you were starting get impatient. With a strong kick to the stomach you were able to push him a fair amount of distance away from you and you booked it to the nearest wall. As you were about to phase shift you felt your bag tear open and the egg roll on the floor. You stopped and looked down, Diego's knife was pierced on the wall in front of your messenger bag. You huffed and quickly tried to get the egg back but Diego already tackled you to the ground, pinning your arms next to your head. You struggled under his grip but he his hands were too tight and he had pinned both your legs as well.

You huffed in defeat as you finally stopped your squirming and glared daggers at him. "Gotcha." he smirked. "What are you going to do now?" he asked mockingly and your only frown deepened... until an idea popped into your head. "That was a good fight Diego. I gotta admit you've gotten way better since we were teenagers." you smiled up at him but he wasn't buying it. "What are you-"

You cut him off when you leaned upward and kissed him right on the mouth. When you pulled away, Diego was in a state of shock and confusion and you used this to your advantage. You were able to wiggle your leg free and kick him right on the family jewels before pushing him off of you and you grabbed the egg. Diego was holding his crotch as he huffed in pain.

"You know, for a guy, you have really soft lips." you winked as you gave him a two finger salute before phasing walking out of the building.

The next morning, Madame Sol was downright devastated when they found them art work gone and the guard knocked out. The museum received an anonymous message from the thief, threatening her to buy the egg from the thief or else they would sell it to other buyers who were already interested. Madame agreed to pay the money without another even thinking and gave you a rather large metal briefcase in a discreet location. You thanked her for her patronage and with that you happily skipped into the bank where you deposited all your cash into your five different accounts.

Now, you were sitting outside a cozy little cafe, sipping on your favorite drink and eating some (f/f) cake. A waitress stopped by and asked if you needed anything but just smiled and shook your head. It was a quiet day, people were calmly walking down the street and there wasn't a lot of cars driving by. It felt really peaceful. Deciding that you want to go home. You finished off your drink and cake, took out your wallet and left your payment and a tip.

The sun was slowly setting as you neared your apartment building. You looked up at the sky and smiled. Today really was a beautiful day. Suddenly you heard the sound of someone being slammed in a garbage bin in an alleyway right across the street. You stopped in your tracks, looked to the direction of the noise and debated if you should go check it out. Suddenly, screams erupted from the same alleyway and you broke off into a sprint to the other side and pressed your back against the wall. You looked to see what was going on and you saw two men dragging a flailing girl into their van. You cursed under your breath as one of them hit her in the stomach making her cry out in pain. You quickly phased into the wall and waited for them to get the girl inside the van. Once she was inside, they locked the door and banged on it, telling at her to keep quiet.

As they were walking to the front of the vehicle you suddenly jumped out of the wall and slammed into one of them. They hit their head on the van with enough force to knock him out. The other guy took out a pistol and to the other side of the van but there was nothing there other than the his unconscious friend. He frantically searched for the intruder, pointing his gun in every every direction until the doors of the van swung open, hitting him on the head and he fell to the floor. You ran out the van with the girl next to you but before you could reach the street a shot rang through the air and a sudden sharp pain manifested at the back of your stomach. You tripped and your face hit the ground as tears suddenly rolled down your cheeks and your mouth was Coughing out blood.

You felt one of their boots turn your body around and you heard him gasp and laugh in glee. "Holy shit, (y/n) fucking Hargreeves." he crouched down so you see his face more clearly. His stained teeth was smiling down at you his and his eyes were disturbingly yellow. "Ohoho, you are worth so much more than that other slut we almost took." he stood up and laughed as he walked to the van and got something from the back. He said something about catching tuna but they got a great white instead. You couldn't quite comprehend what was happening anymore as the senses of your body started to shut down one after the other.

Suddenly, you could hear man's muffled screaming as the sound of something sharp cut through the air but you didn't pay much attention as you just started up onto the orange sky. A dark figure was now looming over you but you couldn't recognize who it was due to since your eyes were starting to get foggy. When the mystery silhouette kneeled down to you, you couldn't handle the pain anymore and you finally blacked out.

When you finally regained consciousness you heard a sweet voice coming next to you. Your eyes slowly opened and you instantly knew where you were. You've been in here so many times when you were still a child. You look to your side and saw your robotic mother happily cleaning a bloody scalpel. "Mom" you croaked. She looked at you and smile "Hello (y/n) dear. How are you feeling?" Grace asked as she walked over to you. "Well, not dead because of you." you said and she chuckled. "Oh, I can't take all the credit dear. Diego was the one who brought you back here."

"Imagine what would have happened if I came a minute later." A new voice entered the conversation. It turned over to Diego who was leaning on the door frame. "Ah, Diego, my savior, as thankful as I am for your heroism why do you have to be so intense all the time." you shot him a playful smile and he laughed as he shook his head. He walked over and took a seat next to you. Grey smiled as she walked out of the room, giving you two some privacy.

Diego looked at your bandaged stomach as he gently ran his hands over it. "Does it hurt?" he asked concerned. You felt a small twinge of pain as he put pressure on your stomach but it was practically nothing. You shook your head and said no. You were looking at his face as he stared at your wounds. It was silent for a minute or two until you spoke, "Thank you." you stuttered softly. "For saving me." Diego looked at you with a half smile. "Well, it's kind of my job." he responded. "Saving people and breaking bones?" you asked, quoting him. He laughed and nodded. Your happy expression faltered slightly. "Even for a criminal like me?" you asked and he looked at you for a minute before he said, "Nobody's perfect." He smiled as he placed his hand on yours and give it a gentle squeeze. You smiled and he cleared his throat and stood up.

"Anyways," he started "About what happened at the museum." he said and you rolled your eyes. "Oh come on, I already gave the egg back. You can't still be mad about-" he shut you up with a soft but passionate kiss and you instantly kissed back. When he pulled away he rested his forehead on yours. "I've always wanted to do that ever since our first mission together." he whispered and blushed, smiling. You were about to lean in for another peck but then the booming voice of yours father shook the room.

"Number 8! Your recent actions across the city are extremely inexcusable!" he said, standing at the door way. Diego smirked as he stood straight. "Have fun pumpkin." he said as he walked out.

"You fucking prick."

AN:

So here's the first story for, Villain I Appear to be! I decided to write a one-shot series for the Umbrella kids because why not, you know? Don't worry, The Great Escape is still my number one priority so this won't change update time for it. uwu. It's just refreshing to write about other characters. Huhu.

I'll be writing for every single Umbrella kid except for Five because honestly it makes me uncomfortable since his actor is so young. But hey, if ya'll want me to add Five then just DM me or something. uwu. I promise to try my best.

[dontreadthistrashgarbage]

G O T 7 pt.4

"Hey kiddos!" Guerin called out in English as she entered the dorm for HEET. She had messaged them earlier that she would be stopping by. Having wrapped up breakfast with JB she had enough time to catch the boys and Eneoji before they left for work for the day.

"Noona!" Seungbin jumped up from the couch and ran to into entryway to greet her, the large white Samoyed hot on his heels. Guerin hugged the maknae in greeting then kneeled down to give her dog attention. The other five members of HEET made their way out to greet her as well. They all settled in the living room, Eneoji sprawled across both her and the typically nonexpressive Tobio next to her.

She listened as they caught her up on how everyone had been faring and some plans they had begun working on, including a possible World Tour now that they had gotten their first wins. It hadn't been long since their last promotions ended but they had all been working hard on preparing for the next comeback. Guerin asked them if she should take Eneoji home but Seungbin and Tobio asked to let her stay longer.

"Just let me know if your days get too long and you can't get away to take her out or you cant bring her to work. She needs the attention." Guerin cautioned.

"That time might be coming soon." Byoungjin said reasonably, but once he caught the pathetic expression from Seungbin he added, "But we have another couple days at least."

"I've been running with her everyday still! Sometimes people recognize us!" The American Gabriel said excitedly, "She's been giving out pawtagraphs." The pun had been a joke between him and Guerin but had become recognized fandom canon when he had let it slip in a vlive.

"Did Jackson ever make an appointment with you?" Minhwan asked suddenly, remembering his Sunbae reaching out to him.

"Yes he did, and his puppy is super adorable, we should absolutely schedule a playdate with MinNao and Eneoji." Guerin gushed.

"I haven't seen him in a while. It would be nice to see him again." Byoungjin said, happy at the prospect of meeting up with his fellow trainee.

"I met a few other people you guys know too. Mark Tuan and JB." Guerin said, though she opted to leave out that she had just gotten breakfast with the latter to avoid too many questions, "JB even came to see Mihi fly."

"I've head of JB. Doesn't he produce under the name Defsoul?" Tobio asked curiously.

"Yes, he helped me learn music composition and arrangement." Byoungjin answered, "How is he?" He turned to Guerin and she faltered.

"Ahh... we... he is nice but we kinda had a disagreement recently." She said honestly.

"What happened? Noona are you okay?" Seungbin sat up protectively.

"Yes I'm fine. He apologized." Guerin said, touched by the fifteen-year-old's reaction as she pinched his cheek, causing him to pout slightly.

"I'm not that surprised. JB was always a little hot headed." Minhwan frowned.

Guerin was shocked, "Hot headed? I would never have described him that way. I thought he was fairly laid back, even cute sometimes."

"Cute?" Minhwan coughed out a laugh, "Im Jaebeom? He hated aegyo!"

"No I dont mean aegyo." Guerin couldn't help but laugh at the idea of JB attempting full blown aegyo, "But he has... cute mannerisms? Like he puffs out his cheeks when he is thinking, or scrunches up his face when he teases, or plays up certain emotions when he gets excited." She tried to explain.

Byoungjin was looking at her with a raised eyebrow.

"What?" She asked.

"Nothing. You just described him very well." Byoungjin shrugged, clearly not telling the full truth.

"Yeah he had some of that too but he used to get mad and blow up a lot." Minhwan explained, "If he thought someone was being disrespectful, wasting time, not trying hard enough..." Minhwan flinched, "It wasn't fun being on the receiving end of that."

"I never would have guessed." Guerin said.

"Did you get yelled at a lot, Hyung?" Gabriel asked leader Minhwan, a slight cheeky quality to the inquiry.

"No, you rude punk." Minhwan answered back with even more sass, "But JB would have destroyed you. If you aren't careful I'll call him in to teach you a lesson." He threatened playfully, giving the younger man a couple pokes to the ribs, causing Gabriel to giggle and flinch away.

"JB had a rough childhood. His birth father wasn't a good person and he suffered for it. He talked about trying to change it. He was aware and he didn't want to be the kind of man that hurt his mom." Byoungjin said seriously. Minhwan and Gabriel looked chagrined. Everyone was quiet, unsure of what to say. Guerin processed the new information carefully, adding a bit more understanding to JB's personality.

"He must be working hard. It's not easy to overcome that kind of trauma." Tobio unexpectedly said. He wasn't as talkative as the others but when he did he had a habit of poignancy. The others nodded thoughtfully.

"What did you two fight about?" Seungbin asked suddenly.

"Oh... it's so embarrassing." Guerin hid her face in Eneoji's fur.

"Noonaaaaa, tell us!" Seungbin plied, pushing her gently and using full aegyo to get her to answer. She tried to avoid looking at him but he was too powerful.

"Okay fine." She pushed Seungbin away as he grinned in triumph and Gabriel cackled.

"He... asked me to sing a song he wrote." She said quietly.

"He asked you to sing?" Gabriel was floored.

"Noona we told you that you have a nice singing voice." Minhwan boasted. They had all spent time around her so they had heard her many times.

"Yeah but I'm not a professional. It's just for fun." She felt like she had to keep repeating it.

"Maybe he likes you." Gabriel said, then adding in English, "-likes you- likes you. Y'know?"

"Gabriel!" She said astonished, "Minhwan I can't reach, would you shove him for me."

"I don't know, he might have a point." Minhwan shrugged, trying not to laugh.

"Well he better not." Seungbin said making a face, "Noona you deserve someone nice."

"Don't speak ill of people you haven't met." Tobio scolded the youngest gently. Seungbin apologized and ducked his head. Guerin smiled fondly at the well intentioned boy before she caught another thoughtful expression on Byoungjin, who quickly blanked his face as soon as their eyes met. She didn't have a chance to question him before Minhwan changed the subject to talk about Mark and Jackson too and she forgot to bring it up again until after she had left.

"Charlie-ssi, have you eaten yet?" Jinyoung asked, coming up beside his favorite producer as she pored over a thick stack of notes.

"No, not yet..." she answered, distracted.

"That's silly, it's our meal break. Come eat with me." He said, taking a step back and gesturing toward the food truck that had been sent by his costars friends.

She glanced up, feeling regretful at having to say no to such a handsome man asking her to join him for a meal, "I can't, I want to finish this first. Besides, I'm on a diet, I wasn't going to eat anyway."

Jinyoung looked offended, "A diet?" He repeated blankly.

"Yeah, I've put on some weight and being around all these beautiful actors..." she trailed off realizing she might be oversharing.

Jinyoung shook his head disapprovingly, "Ridiculous. You're beautiful the way you are." He turned to walk away, muttering, "A diet."

She was frozen for a moment. Did Park Jinyoung just call her beautiful? She shook her head. It was probably just lip service. Still, it was disappointing not being able to eat with him. But she had eaten and drunk so much last night, she was feeling positively bloated. Shaking her head once more she turned back to her notes.

A few minutes later a plate of chicken with vegetable sides and half a cupcake was placed on the table in front of her. Looking up she saw Jinyoung settling in the chair next to her, holding a similar looking plate with the other half of the cupcake. She watched him in surprise as he nonchalantly settled in, picking up his chopsticks before meeting her gaze.

"Skipping meals is unhealthy. You should take care of your body and feed it well." His genuine smile made her heart race and she blinked to get her bearings. His smile turned slightly more mischievous as he reached over to break off a piece of cupcake with his chopsticks and raise it to her lips, "but a little treat every now and then is good too."

It took her a moment but she responded by opening her mouth and taking the bite, blushing and quickly looking around to see if anyone had seen. Jinyoungs smile took over his whole face, eyes crinkling as he turned happily back to his own meal. Charlie smiled too, then set aside her notes to dig in as well, talking with him as a few more crew members joined them at the table creating happy chatter during their break.

Guerin had met up with Jackson and MinNao for another training session, this one focusing on loose leash walking. Jackson and his puppy were both eager to learn and absorbed information, putting it into practice readily. The two humans chatted about training theory as they walked but it devolved into general chatter and joking around.

"Oh, why don't we get a coffee? MinNao can practice being calm and greeting people." Guerin suggested suddenly as they passed a shop with outdoor seating.

Jackson beamed, "That sounds great!"

"Go ahead and get seated. I'll order inside." Guerin pointed to a table on the patio.

"Wait, take my card." Jackson started to reach for his wallet.

"Nope! It's on me!" Guerin grinned and skipped away from him through the doors, ignoring his protests. He was left to make his way to the patio with his rotund red puppy. It wasn't long before Guerin reappeared with two iced Americanos, placing one in front of a pouty Jackson as she settled across from him.

"Oh MinNao, yes, I missed you too." Guerin cooed at the puppy who had begun wiggling as soon as she was back in sight, pointedly ignoring the sulking man. Jackson squinted his eyes petulantly, reaching over to his drink for a sip, not looking away. Once Guerin sat back she couldnt help but giggle at Jackson's exaggerated mood.

"Oh come on," she protested with a laugh, "Can't I buy a friend a coffee?" She returned his pout playing up the cuteness as much as possible.

Jackson let out his trademark high pitched squeal "Cuuuuute!" He exclaimed, leaning back and crossing his arms over himself defensively, dimples showing from his grin. Guerin couldn't help but laughing at his adorable reaction. The two continued their banter, intermittently reinforcing and playing with MinNao until during a lull Jackson changed the subject.

"Did you ever end up talking to JB again?"

Guerin took a moment, piecing together how she wanted to phrase the experience, "Yeah... he actually apologized. He seemed really genuinely upset with himself."

"What happened?" Jackson leaned forward curiously.

"It happened the same night we went out." She paused, "It sounds weird but he ended up at my apartment, drunk. He was really upset and apologizing a lot. I didn't feel comfortable sending him away that drunk so I let him pass out on the couch."

Jackson had no poker face. He sat back, looking disgruntled, "He spent the night?"

Guerin immediately tried to clarify, "Yeah but he was just passed out on the couch. It wasn't like... that." She floundered, "The next morning he didn't even remember but he bought us breakfast and apologized properly." Jackson still had an odd expression on his face so she tried to move on, unsure of how to phrase the scenario any better, "He actually asked me to try recording again."

"What did you say?" Jackson asked.

"I told him I'd try it." She felt strangely guilty admitting it so she avoided Jacksons gaze by focusing on taking a sip on her drink. Jackson floundered for a moment. He didn't want Guerin to set herself up for hurt again but JB was a close friend.

"If he apologized then he'll be better this time." He said, nodding resolutely, "You can trust him."

Guerin was relieved with Jacksons understanding. Him vouching for JB's character set her more at ease, "Thanks Jackson. It feels good to hear you say that." She smiled softly at him.

He beamed back at her before changing his expression to overdone disapproval to match his scolding tone, "But you don't have to let just anyone stay at your house overnight. You should be more careful!"

She laughed in shock, "Oh my god!" She exclaimed in English, "Nothing happened! It was nothing!" She said defensively.

"Still. It looks bad. Next time send him home." He said petulantly.

"Whatever." She said in English again, tsking at his attitude dismissively. They argued playfully for a bit before the conversation flowed naturally in another direction.

JB and Jackson met for dinner later that evening. They caught up with light chatter about their current projects and Jacksons upcoming schedules in China. Their discussion was light and friendly, with a lot of laughter from the both of them.

"Guerin agreed to try recording for my new song." JB brought up amidst their discussion of projects.

"Hyung." Jackson said suddenly. JB looked up at Jackson while reaching for a bite of food, "You need to be nice to her this time." Jackson added seriously. JB hesitated, remembering seeing Jackson hugging Guerin after his blow up.

"Ah..." he didn't know what to say so he shoved some food in his mouth as he thought. Jackson waited. "I was wrong that time. I was a jerk. I won't do it again." He said resolutely.

"And you shouldn't spend the night at her house either." Jackson added seriously. JB looked at his friend with wide eyes, shocked.

"I saw Guerin today. She said you came over to apologize." Jackson said, "I know you meant well... but... I told you before I like her. So I don't like you staying there overnight."

JB finished chewing and swallowed, "Ah... about that..." Jackson looked at him inquisitively, "I didn't say anything before. I thought I could give it up. But I like Guerin too." He looked ashamed, "I tried to distance myself and I got upset and I took it out on her. So I decided I need to be honest with both of you. I'm sorry I wasn't honest from the beginning."

Jackson couldn't hide his surprise. A variety of emotions passed across his face rendered uncharacteristically speechless. JB waited patiently for him to recover. After a few moments Jackson looked resolute, "We can't help how we feel. Neither of us own Guerin or have a right. Regardless, you're my precious friend and nothing is going to change that."

"Waaahhhh." JB said, impressed. He offered his hand to his friend which Jackson took and they shook fondly, "That was cool." They grinned at each other.

"I'm still going to confess." Jackson said, widening his eyes and locking eyes with JB who chuckled at his friends comical expression.

"Yeah. I think I will too." JB responded.

"Don't spend the night at her house again though." Jackson pouted at JB.

"I can't promise that." JB said breaking the seriousness, turning his gaze to food and reaching for another bite.

"Hyunggg." Jackson caught onto the shift in the mood as he whined, "Don't be like this."

"Like what?" JB played innocent, chewing and opening his arms questioningly.

"Hyuuuunnngggg...." Jackson whined more, pouting with his full body, causing JB to laugh loudly and offer the barely younger man a bite of food to satiate his sulk.

"Thanks for helping me pick out some new makeup." Charlie smiled at Mark. The two of them were meandering toward the famous makeup district in Seoul.

"It's no problem! I don't have a shoot today and I like spending time with you." He responded with a smile, but had to look away at the last part shyly. Charlie blushed, unsure of how he intended the message but she was flattered regardless.

"I usually do really simple makeup but with our wrap party soon I wanted something a bit more flashy. I figured, you're a model, you might know what you're doing." She shrugged.

Mark laughed, "Well I usually have makeup done to me but lucky you I can do some as well."

The pair entered a shop and meandered through, with Mark making suggestions and offering feedback on Charlie's questions.

"I don't know if that color would look good on me..." she said dubiously eyeing sparkly purple eyeshadow.

"Sure it will. Pair it with this lighter shade, it'll complement your hair well and go with your pink contacts." He pushed. When she continued looking doubtful he pouted at her, "You said you wanted a bolder look, don't you trust me? You should at least try it."

"Okay... I'll try it." Charlie gave in to his cute expression.

Mark beamed, causing her heart to race. He really had an unnecessarily beautiful face. An unnecessarily beautiful everything. She blinked to clear her thoughts as he grabbed the sample eyeshadows. She reached to out to take them from him but he pulled away.

"I'll do it, so you can see what I mean." Mark said. Charlie hesitated then dropped her hand.

"Okay..." She couldn't think of a reason to not let him and just hoped she could cope with proximity.

"Close your eyes." He instructed as he opened the first shade. She obeyed and tried not to flinch as he applied the colors and blended them together. It felt like forever. He was so close his breath would wash across her face and neck. His touches were gentle but precise. Her mind wanted to wander but she locked that down as best she could. "Okay." He said finally.

Charlie's eyes fluttered open, she was surprised to still see him so close to her. He studied his handiwork then nodded, looking into her eyes with a proud close lipped smile, "It looks great on you."

She felt herself blushing again and turned away quickly with the pretense of finding a mirror. Locating one quickly she looked in and gasped, "Oh, wow that does look really cool."

"Thanks." Mark stepped up behind her, still looking proud.

"Alright I'll get these then." She nodded but avoided his gaze.

"Let's find a lip color to go with it. Maybe something more neutral..." Mark said thoughtfully before turning and wandering toward the lip section. Charlie took a couple breaths before following after him.

"Boy Howdy do I got news." Guerin said, slipping into the chair across the table from her friend. The two of them often defaulted to English when speaking with each other. Charlie looked up, from her coffee. She and Mark had gone their separate ways not too long ago. She had, of course, removed the makeup before leaving the shop.

"Same." Charlie sighed in response, leaning her head on her hand as she frowned at her friend.

"Oh? Tell me about it." Guerin leaned forward expectantly, curious about the news.

"I might be imagining things..." Charlie started, then fidgeted as she tried to piece together what to say, "Probably just wishful thinking..." she trailed off again.

"Spit it out!" Guerin urged, tapping the table to snap her friend back to attention.

Charlie groaned and covered her face, "I'm just thinking ugh! So... I think I have feelings."

"Oooohhhhhh?!" Guerin sat up with a grin and wiggled excitedly, "Who is the lucky person?"

"That's the problem. Well. One of them..." she started to trail off again before she caught Guerin's gaze again and forced herself to spit out, "I think I like two people. I think I like Jinyoung and Mark..." Guerin grinned and let out an appreciative sound but Charlie continued, "And I think... they might like me? But I'm not sure. And like... what could two such handsome men see in someone like me? I must be imagining it."

Guerin scoffed, "Yeah, what could two men see in a smart, fun, sweet, beautiful, strong woman like yourself. Absolutely ridiculous." The sarcasm couldn't have been laid on thicker.

Charlie forced one corner of her mouth up into what was supposed to be a smile but was more like a disbelieving grimace, "Thanks..."

"Don't you give me that face. Give yourself some credit. You don't have to believe everything I said, even if it IS the truth. But you have a lot of excellent qualities. What's not to like?" Guerin argued.

"Come on, maybe for an average person. But these guys are surrounded by incredibly beautiful people all the time. I am so plain in comparison. I barely wear makeup and my standard is hoodies and jeans." Charlie looked increasingly despondent as she spoke.

Guerin frowned, "You might not be a movie star but give these guys some credit. Hopefully anyone you like would be decent enough to not measure a person's worth by how glamorous they can be." Charlie still didn't look convinced, "Listen I can't make you believe me. I haven't met Jinyoung but I did meet Mark. I might have been having a bad night but even I could tell, ya boi was into ya."

Charlie couldn't help but chuckle at her friends earnest and goofy way of speaking. "If you say so." She suddenly looked up, determined, "Speaking of! Any news on that front?"

"Oh, yeah. Geez." Guerin launched into the explanation of JB coming over drunk that same night. At first she told the same edited version she had told Jackson but after finishing she hesitated.

"Well it's good that he apologized." Charlie narrowed her eyes at her friends expression, "Guerin you have no poker face. What are you hiding?"

Guerin laughed nervously, "I uh... well... while he was drunk... it kinda sounded like he was confessing feelings too."

It was Charlie's turn to coo at the juicy gossip. Guerin waved her hand dismissively, "Don't get excited. When he woke up he didn't say it again. He didn't even remember."

"Mmhmm." Charlie said, sipping her coffee like Hyungwon. Guerin rolled her eyes, uncharacteristically at a loss for words. "Sounds like you've got a love triangle."

"What? With who?" Guerin gasped.

"JB and Jackson." Charlie said in a sing song voice.

"Oh stop. JB was drunk and Jackson is friendly with everyone." Guerin shook her head.

"Mmhmm." She made another point of sipping her coffee with emphasis. "You make a big production of how every man should be in love with me and you can't even notice a puppy begging for attention and a drunk confession. Come on."

Guerin could understand her perspective but still found it unbelievable. She didn't voice her thoughts again.

[the-maxrecords-blog]

where the wild things went

Vice: Hello Max. This is your first film in five years. What on earth have you been doing with your time?

Max: Just living, you know? Living, going to school, getting done with school.

Vice: Did you ever worry, "Hang on, what if I've forgotten how to act"?

Max: I didn't really think about it until the first day or two shooting then I was like, "What the fuck am I doing here?". For the first couple of days the learning curve was pretty steep again.

Vice: How does one even go about preparing to play a sociopath? Presumably it wasn't method acting.

Max: I kind of feel like there is no such thing as acting that isn't method to some degree because if you're not actually experiencing it, then you're a fucking liar. I was talking with Billy [O'Brien - director] about it and - I forget the word that he keeps using - but it's an intuitive process. You just kind of feel it out, you know? I was pretty miserable while we were shooting, just because you're in a super dark brain space all day. Especially living in a place like Minnesota where we were shooting, six days a week. You don't get the opportunity to turn it off, you know? And that's great as far as the actual creative process goes but it sucks as far as trying to be a person.

Vice: Have you ever done a psychopath test?

Max: I don't think so.

Vice: Would you like to do one?

Max: Yeah, let's do it! Is it legit or is it some Facebook nonsense?

Vice: Oh, Facebook nonsense probably.

Max: So you're not licensed?

Vice: We're not unlicensed.

Max: I'm pretty sure it's an either-or thing.

Vice: So there are eight statements. You either agree or disagree. First one: "You rarely catch me making any plans. I'm far too spontaneous".

Max: Yeah, absolutely.

Vice: "If I got a better offer, I wouldn't mind cancelling longstanding plans".

Max: Yeah, that's probably true.

Vice: "It would be fun to drive fast cars, ride rollercoasters or go skydiving".

Max: I've been skydiving. Fast cars are fun. I don't get the appeal of rollercoasters. I guess I haven't really done a true roller coaster. It feels artificial.

Vice: Shall we disagree?

Max: No, let's agree.

Vice: Alright. "I think it's okay to step over other people to achieve my ambitions".

Max: I don't know. I don't think you necessarily need to it. I can't think of many situations that I've been in where that's necessary, where there isn't some other course of action you could take. Let's disagree.

Vice: Do you have an ambition?

Max: In the broader context of my life, I just want to gain skills. Recently I was doing an outdoor programme back in the States through this thing called NOLS [National Outdoor Leadership School], so I was off doing that for a couple of months. Getting better at being outdoors and learning how the natural world works. And I love playing music so getting better at that. Just learning to be a better, more competent person. Trying to not be a dick.

Vice: It's a good motto. Okay: "I'm very persuasive and getting people to get what I want is a real talent of mine".

Max: Agree! I think I'm pretty good at that. I've been manipulating my parents for years.

Vice: The perks of being a child star... What was that whole experience like?

Max: Really awful! Especially for children, the film world is just terrible. You can't grow up in that world and still have a connection to reality. At least if you're, like, really in it. Especially the poor folks out there who have stage parents. It's just so sheltered. The creative aspect of acting is one of the more amazing things that I've gotten to experience but everything outside of that is pretty bizarre.

Vice: Was it enough to make you think you might not want to do it anymore?

Max: I think, probably, yeah. Especially once Where the Wild Things Are came out. And that was my first real acting role too. Being thrown in the deep end as a young, pretty vulnerable person. And then you have an experience like that and there's all this stigma around it, back in the "real world". I went to the same school since I was in second grade, through most of high school, and I knew all these kids and they were my friends before and after but there was, coming back, this weird stigma, these weird assumptions that if you're in a film, you're an asshole and you don't exist in a grounded real world way.

Vice: What are your memories of working on that film?

Max: It was really important to Spike that the set was conducive to a child. So we had a million kids on set. All the crew was kind of invited to bring their families. And as a way to kind of understand the vibe that Spike wanted to cultivate, there was always music on set. The Smiths, Cemetery Gates and Big Mouth Strikes Again, all those songs. I have really wonderful nine-year-old memories of romping around on set and that music playing.

Vice: How does one move past an experience like that and into the world of adult acting?

Max: I think you just grow up and learn to be a person. I think one of the biggest learning curves for me, as a result of those experiences and then applying that to the real world, was that it took me a long time to learn to take a compliment. From twelve through to however old, you just kind of shut down. There's this assumption of an agenda. But you grow up and you learn to be a person and you temper the experiences of working in the film world with what people are actually like and you balance that.

Vice: Is there one thing you know now that you wish you knew then?

Max: No, I don't think so. I am the person I am as a result of a lot of those experiences and I love the people that I met and especially those people that I have experiences with. It is what it is. Can't change the past!

Vice: Okay: "My ability to make quick decisions means that I would suit a dangerous job".

Max: [Takes long time to decide answer] I dunno... The idea of being a smokejumper appeals to me.

Vice: What's a smokejumper?

Max: It's a term for the folks in the US that are forest firefighters and jump out of airplanes. That appeals to me.

Vice: What do you think you'd be doing if you weren't acting?

Max: Working in outdoor education probably. Working with kids or being in the outdoors. Or both.

Vice: Do you have a desire to keep acting?

Max: Yeah. I mean, I like doing it and I think creatively it's really cool and the people you get the opportunities to work with are often really wonderful people. It allows me to do other things in my own life. My parents have kind of helped me gain this perspective of it, but I think it's best for me to view it as a hobby. I like acting but I don't think it's healthy to do films back to back.

Vice: What was it about this script?

Max: I love Billy and I love Nick Ryan, the producer. I love Robbie Ryan, our cinematographer and I think, aesthetically, just the, Midwest middle America vibe, that's really cool. And the humour of the script. It's genuine and it has real emotion embedded in it but it's funny! That Fargo humour really appeals to me.

Vice: Do you have a favourite movie?

Max: It changes periodically, of course. Birdman has been one of my favourite films ever. It came out a couple of years ago and I've watched it half a dozen times. The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover. I rewatched that pretty recently and remembered how good it was. People keep talking to me about Donnie Darko in relation to this film and I like that one quite a bit.

Vice:"When others are crumbling under pressure, I'm usually the one with a cool head". Agree or disagree?

Max: Yes. I think so.

Vice: When was was the last time you lost your cool?

Max: I've been working on that skill and I think I'm getting pretty good at it. It's been awhile since I've been genuinely, deeply upset about something. One of my favourite things in the world is this scar right here [shows us a fairly impressive scar on his knuckle]. I got it punching walls. It was like the perfect teenage angst motivation. The first time, I was really upset in my house because I had read something about the use of American drone warfare and just how upsetting it was and how a bunch of civilians had just been murdered somewhere in the world. And then the second time was me being upsetting at my parents.

Vice: Alright, last one: "I'm rarely to blame for things going wrong, it's usually the fault of the people around me".

Max: I mean, yeah. But I'll disagree.

Vice: Okay, let's see your results… You're 61% psychopath! "Though your conscience is in the right place, you have a pragmatic streak and generally aren't afraid to do your own dirty work".

Max: I'll take that.

Vice: There's more! "You're no shrinking violet but you're no daredevil either. You generally have a little trouble seeing things from other people's perspectives, but at the same time you're no pushover. Everything in moderation, including moderation, might sum up your approach to life".

Max: I like that. I'll take it!

Credits: Vice.com

Source: https://i-d.vice.com/en_gb/topic/max-records

[wlw-lovestruck-fiction]

Hey...

I feel very lonely currently. I'm struggling with my mental health (for like 6 years) And now I'm getting therapy for the first time and I've stopped going to school. I'm the anon with the car crash btw. I drove a bit today and had a panic attack.

My friend asked me if I want to go shopping with her, which would require me to drive and well I said no, because I'm also still slightly in pain... She asked me if I'll come back to school and I said no. I feel very stupid now. She asked what I'm doing instead and I said therapy. She stopped answering until now. I guess I should've added trying to survive, because of my suicidal thoughts.

I have to go to the physiotherapy for a week because of my neck and stuff and I'm already not feeling good about it. First, because of my social anxiety, second because of my depression making it hard to even brush my teeth sometimes and third I'm scared of having to do it with a male. I probably have some trauma, according to my therapist, and I'm scared. I don't really consider everything that happend a big deal and I feel bad for being so afraid of males but I don't know what to do.

I told my friend that I don't want to go, not only because of the exercises, but because lf the reasons above (worded different of course). I guess she got me wrong and she said "Physiotherapy isn't that hard". I feel like none of my friends really understand me anymore since my mental health struggles are out and the only friend that really would understand barely answers my texts anymore. They're the only friends I have.

I feel like I'm becoming this toxic negative friend, who's just being lazy and talked her way out of a stressful time, just for some therapy she doesn't need.

Sometimes everything is feeling normal between us if we meet up, even if I get inmy head and start feeling lonely even when I'm with them. And then there are times like this, when I feel like they'll turn around and betrayal me, that they don't need me anymore and that I have to come to terms with that they'll probably leave me.

I've already taken a few steps back from them automatically since I also needed time for myself the past weeks. I constantly find myself thinking it's better to leave now, remember a truly beautiful friendship, than a painful break. I feel lonely, like I'm completely alone on the world. I failed. So hard.

And I can't even be there for my friends the way they need me anymore. Sometimes I wish they would just use me so I can make them happy and finally be useful before I end myself. It feels like I'm such a drama queen. Probably I am.

No one truly needs me in the end and I'm just a pain for everyone.

I just feel like giving up completely. I know I should try harder, maybe talk to them about how I feel, try staying in the present and not get lost in my maladaptive daydreams and everything else, do what has to be done still..

But I don't really see a point anymore I guess.

I've ruined my life already. I can't get back all the time I've lost, all the moments I ruined because of my depression, my anxiety, my possible trauma, my daydreams, my whatever...

And the future looks even worse.

I wish I wasn't so alone right now. I wish I didn't mess up all the time.

But I guess It's the only thing I'm good at.

I feel selfish and sometimes my own thoughts scare me. When I get annoyed at my friend for example I'm like "You shouldn't do that, that's not you. She did nothing wrong. Why are you getting annoyed?" ..

It's probably weird how that scares me more than my suicidal thoughts..

I don't know who exactly I am anymore and I don't know if I like what I'm becoming.

Probably I'm gonna text one of my friends now and tell her that I've changed my mind and will go shopping with her, because I feel really guilty right now for saying no...

I don't want to lose my friends. They're my family. For years we only had each other, because of bullying from our classmates... Maybe that was the only thing holding us together? But it held on without them...maybe it was just school and now that I'm out of school currently I'm just npt needed anymore, can't talk with them anymore...

Maybe my life is just fucked. Maybe that's all it'll ever be.

I mean how could it be something else? I'm scared of being happy or feeling okay, since I feel like the price you have to pay for it is too high... And even happiness doesn't really make up for all the abuse, pain, ect. that is going on in this world.

I hope I haven't ruined your day/night.

Thanks for letting me vent again. And thanks for the response last time.

Take care ^^

(Reaches over to hug you)

Don’t worry, anon, everyone needs to vent once in a while – and we are here for you. It’s always good to get these sorts of things out of your chest.

I totally understand why you would have a panic attack, what with all those emotions weighing you down, and why you don’t want to drive for now. And I also understand how hard dealing with depression must be, especially when you said it’s hard for you to get up sometimes, but hey, I’m sure you’ll make progress. Even if these therapy sessions are the first ones you’ve gotten, they are already helping you realize some things. It’s a long, hard, exhausting process – but I’m sure you’ll make it. I’m sure the sessions will help you. Please give yourself a chance to overcome all of these dark feelings.

Regarding your friends… It’s hard to know how to support other people in these kinds of situations. You said you’re scared of losing them, but I think that goes both ways. I’m sure they want to help you, but they aren’t exactly sure how. You don’t need to explain everything to them if you don’t feel safe doing so, but what I’m trying to get at here is that if you explain, then maybe they’ll adapt the plans they want to make with you, in a way that doesn’t require you to drive or at least don’t make you feel physical pain. I get that you’re scared of bothering them, or being a burden, or a toxic negative friend, but I can assure you that is not true. I have friends that also go through depressing times, and even though it’s sometimes hard to support them, I would never consider them a burden. My only goal is to help them. I’m sure that’s true for your friends, too.

Yes, I understand that you’d rather remember a beautiful friendship than a painful break, but I’d wager letting you feel this lonely is worse. You aren’t being a drama queen, anon. You are voicing what you feel and your struggle. Honestly, from where I stand (because I prefer to bottle everything up), sharing it like this takes guts. You acknowledge it. That’s an important step. And I’m sure you can share it with your therapist and your loved ones, too. You won’t be burdening them. You’ll be giving them the key to help you.

I really, really hope you can get out of this dark void, anon. We are here for you. I’m sorry I can’t be more help, though I really want to. Take care as well, anon. ❤️- Mod Jessa