#i swear i'm always fighting to get my posts to show up in the tags

[hotelstares]

[5sospenguinqueen]

Play Pretend | Charles Leclerc x Law Student! Reader

Summary: He's Lightning McQueen. You're Elle Woods. But, when Charles misses you, he makes it known that perhaps your career isn't as important as his wishes to start a family.

Warnings: Swearing. Angst. Baby fever? Miscommunication.

Female reader with various faceclaims. Pics found on Pinterest.

2024 but some events switched around 

I'm trying to make all of these different to each other so I'm sorry that this one was less baby fever and more baby mention.

Main Masterlist

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YourUserName just posted

liked by maxverstappen1, francisca.cgomes and others 

YourUserName the cause of stress v. the support systems   tagged: charles_leclerc, YourBestFriend

6,883 comments

User1 i love how all her captions ft her degree are legal themed 

charles_leclerc ❤️💛

charles_leclerc mon ange, what are you doing in that second photo

→ YourUserName it’s probably best you don’t know, char

→ YourBestFriend cocktails were involved

→ charles_leclerc this is why i don’t like leaving her with you 

→ YourBestFriend cry me a river, vroom vroom boy 

lilymhe i still think i would be a better support system than charles

→ YourUserName and i fully agree. let’s run away together

→ alex_albon whoa, whoa, whoa. get your own girlfriend

→ charles_leclerc she already has her own girlfriend! 

→ charles_leclerc wait, no

→ User2 the prettiest girlfriend

User3 i swear charles and y/n are the cutest f1 couple

→ User4 they always look so infatuated with each other 

→ User5 umm, how? she's literally never at races 

→ User6 because she’s off being successful in her own way, and charles supports that? plus, she’s always snapped in ferrari merch on race days whether she’s there or not

→ User7 omg yes! when a classmate took a pic of her leaving a final in bright red, and she was easily the most spottable person in that hall 

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charles_leclerc just posted

liked by pierregasly, arthur_leclerc and others

charles_leclerc welcome home baby leo  tagged: YourUserName

12,298 comments

YourUserName my two favourite boys ❤️

User8 did you see in the background of one of the pics, they have his “birth certificate” framed and it says leo leclerc-y/l/n. he truly is their child

roscoelovescoco can’t wait’s to see’s a new’s friend in’s the paddock’s 

→ User9 roscoe-leo play date when please

→ User10 not until 2025 😂

User11 but let’s all take a moment to appreciate how cool leo’s parents are. he has an f1 racer for a dad, and a fashionable law student for a mum

→ User12 haha his parents are lightning mcqueen and elle woods 

pierregasly thanks mate. now kika is going to want one

→ YourUserName and you should give her one. i need a mum friend 

User13 first they adopt ollie and now leo. who’s next

→ YourUserName oscar

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User1 the interviewer was asking about future races and charles wasted no time in bringing up his girlfriend. he’s so down bad 

User2 the way his face lights up when he talks about her. he really does love her. 

User3 oh Charles, honey, that’s not giving what you think it is 

User4 any other woman slightly uncomfortable with the way this was worded?

→ User5 lets all take a moment to remember that english isn’t his first language. he obviously meant well, and the love in his eyes shows that he’s excited about a life with y/n, it just wasn’t worded in the best way 

User6 the interviewer was so skeezy for that last comment though

User7 i feel so bad for y/n. she’s always so supportive of charles' races, even when she’s not there, and charles is talking about how he can't wait for her to be done with her degree so she can follow him around the world 

→ User8 i don’t think he meant it that way. he looked horrified when the interviewer interpreted it that way but the interview ended before he could clarify further 

User9 do we think mom and dad are fighting after his *slightly* misogynistic comments about making her a kept woman

→ User10 i really hope not but my heart says yes because he basically said he’ll turn her into a travel wife who only cares about his career but said nothing about her career that she’s working really hard on

User11 i didn’t realise how much i depended on y/n’s post race posts until i didn’t get one

→ User12 she always posts the most panty-dropping post race charles pics 

User13 i miss them already 

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User1 oh god, it’s official

User2 brb just gonna go cry my eyes out for an hour 

User3 literally half of her insta posts have disappeared because they were all charles 

→ User4 the only thing keeping me sane is that any post where he wasn’t the main focus but slightly in them have been kept 

User5 can someone check on ollie? see how he’s coping as a child of divorce 

liked by OllieBearman

User6 yes, yes. this is all very sad but now that i’m done crying, can we talk about what is going to happen with leo? is this going to be a shared custody agreement?

→ User7 how could i forget about leo. do you think they’ll see each other at child drop off or make arthur be the middle man?

User8 i can't believe they just got a puppy together and now they’re going to be co-parenting instead :( 

User9 maybe this is just a minor speed bump in the road to their everlasting happiness? (yes, i’m hoping that they’re simply taking a small break)

→ User10 may all your delulus come trululu

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YourUserName just posted

liked by lilymhe, arthur_leclerc and others 

YourUserName the verdict is unanimous… I’m stressing

3,880 comments

YourBestFriend this barbies practices law

→ YourBestFriend not long left, babe. just a couple of exams and we’re qualified adults

→ YourUserName i don’t think we should ever be classed as qualified adults lol 

→ YourMum i still can't get over the fact that you two used to play pretend lawyers as little girls and now you're actually going to be one

lilymhe good luck, y/n. you’re gonna smash these! 

→ YourUserName if not, fancy running me over with your golf cart? 

arthur_leclerc good luck, y/n/n. try not to drink too much caffeine 

→ YourUserName i’m not that bad! 

→ arthur_leclerc you cannot lie to me. i have had to listen to you after three red bulls

→ landonorris betrayal! 

User1 she’s so real for that last slide tho. like miss y/l/n you are gorgeous and we’re glad you know it

YourClassmate how do you look so nice despite being in the library until 2am?

→ User2 dude, no. that line is not going to pull the stunning y/n y/l/n

→ User3 literally, the love of her life is charles leclerc and this guy thinks he’s going to win her over with a bad line 

User4 guys, is anyone else missing the sweet comments charles would always leave 

→ User5 he would be agreeing with the last slide and telling her how beautiful and smart she is 

→ User6 how about we don’t remind her of her ex-boyfriend the day before her life-changing exams

carlossainz55 good luck🤞🏼

→ User7 not sainz being messy on main

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charles_leclerc just posted

liked by pierregasly, scuderiaferrari and others

charles_leclerc there is nothing like racing in italy for ferrari. i wish we had a better result, but that was the maximum today. we’ll try again next week. 

8,449 comments

User9 did you see his interview of him on his way out of the paddock? man was in a rush with poor leo tucked under his arm

→ User10 it’s y/n’s week with leo so charles was running out there because it was time to go see his favourite girl 

→ User11 he was not wasting a minute to see the love of his life 

User12 charles racing faster to go see his ex-girlfriend who he’s wildly obsessed with than he did all weekend 

→ User13 bestie you better pray he doesn’t see this 

→ User14 why? ‘cause he’ll have to fight the urge to like it 

User15 i’m so happy that it’s y/n’s week with leo because we’re going to get the most adorable puppy pics on her story all week

→ User16 also it means that his parents will be conversing 

User17 i love that we’re all depending on leo to get f1’s favourite couple back together 

Baby Fever Angst

Daniel's Version | Max's Version | Lando's Version

Lance's Version | Oscar’s Version

Oscar's version will come out next and then I promise, I'll release some of the Part 2s before making any more

(This wasn’t due out until tomorrow but I’ve released it earlier in honour of THE MONACO WIN BABY!!!!!!) 🥳🍾🥳🍾

Tag list

@lav3nder-haze @minkyungseokie @callsignwidow @luvrrish @fall-bambi @evans-dejong @sadsierra2 @justdreamersdream @spookystitchery @dark-night-sky-99 @raizelchrysanderoctavius @elijahslover @luckyladycreator2 @bborra @mrosales16 @reguluscrystals @brsr @tvdtw4ever @alwaysclassyeagle @gigicisneros @spanishcorndogs @dullypully @thecubanator2 @goldenharrysworld @awritingtree @jxnellat @sbrn0905 @hc-dutch @mxdi0 @buckybarnessweetheart @ironmaiden1313 @dreamercrowd @yourbane @glow-ish

[onlyseokmins]

show and tell • l.s.m.

Pairing: lee seokmin x afab!reader Genres: smut (minors dni!), best friends/idiots to lovers!au Warnings: swearing, lotssss of teasing/switch dynamics, tickling, reader is obsessed w/ seokmin's body, they're idiots your honor and they're a lil bit in L-word 🤮, mingyu thrown under the bus as always, ONE BAD PUN BC I THINK I'M FUNNY, sex is as silly as me, BIG COCK SEOK 🗣️ like he's fucking huge okay, oral (both rec. kind of), attempt at 69 but seok's a menace the entire time, fingering, CRYING/TEARS, possession, biting, marking, multiple orgasms, squirting, lil bit of cumplay ig?, mentions of prev partners, overstim... i think that's it lmk if i missed smth 🥵😰 WC: 6.5k A/N: um so this is the most self-indulgent thing i dared to post you're WELCOME i shall now go die in a hole to never be seen ever again... happy belated birthday to the loml ugh ty to all the frens that let me sob in their dms and to @onlymingyus for helping me with a damn title 💖

The commonly shared belief among your friend group was that Seokmin is abnormally soft when it comes to you.

You thought they were full of shit. 

The bestest buddy in the world was also the softest ray of morning sunshine to ever exist in general. You could barely count on one hand the number of people he genuinely ever showed disdain towards or didn't get along with. All in all — it was extremely hilarious in your opinion because Seokmin's fluffy personality greatly contrasted with his lean, sharp physique. 

Ironically, the main reason you ended up in this position.

Just moments before, you were on his bed and caged between his arms. The dog tag necklace you'd gifted, engraved with his birth date and initials, swinging in the same rhythm that your heart rapidly beats with the small space separating your bodies. A sly grin raises the corners of his lips, the long fingers of his left-hand creeping up to trail lightly at your sides.

"I know you have abs."

Seokmin's hands fly up to wrap defensively around his body, though all in good jest. "You can't just ask a dude how many abs he has!"

"And you can't lie to me by saying you don't have any! Do you know how many of your dude-bros have blabbed about your crazy gym routine to me? Can you even guess how many girls bitched at me 'cause you weren't shirtless at my pool party? As if that's my fault?"

"But it's mine?"

"No, all I have to do is prove them wrong. So, show me the goods!"

You sucked at making up your mind — what to eat, what to wear, what to watch, what to do — okay, but who doesn't? It's something Seokmin was very familiar with, hence him always having to pick up wherever you left off. He also knows just as well that once you've settled on something, you'll see it through to the very end. Eventually. 

Which normally works out in his favor except in moments like now. So he resorts to a different preventative measure — tickling the decisiveness right out of you.

Like hell you'll let him do what he wants.

Maybe the whispers about him being soft for you were right. After all, it's to your utter benefit when you push at his shoulder. Only a bit unbalanced, he easily falls onto his side and you scramble to climb on top of him at record speed, one arm pinning Seokmin's wrists against the pillow beneath his head. 

Unfortunately, this looks like one of your 3,718,493,842 very bad choices in life. Once again, something you didn't think all the way through. Sure, you've bested Seokmin at light wrestling and play-fighting before — back when you were toddlers and all he did was cry.

Now, at adult ages, it seems like a horrible, terrible, very bad idea to have him beneath you. Your fingers play with the hem of his black t-shirt that's ridden up ever so slightly, unbearablely close to the leather band of his silver belt buckle. 

Seokmin's pupils are blown wide as he looks up at you with a strange, almost starry-eyed look of surprise. Black bangs flipped up across the dark gray of his blanket, silver chain askew shining against his collarbones, mouth slightly ajar.

Suddenly you're hyper-aware of sitting right on top of him, completely obliterating the distance between your bodies earlier, and leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination from what you can feel nestled in between your legs. 

"Would it be inappropriate of me to take your shirt off right now?" you can't help but ask.

He laughs, all breathless and high-pitched like he does when he's nervous. "You're asking for permission?"

"Seokmin," you whine and shift your hips in protest without thinking. Another bad move. Oops. "I'm trying to be polite."

"You have me pinned to my bed with the intent to strip me and you're worried about being polite?"

"Oh, please, you could easily break free."

It's true. His wrists twitch a bit under your grasp, almost like he's attempting to do just that but you're faster once more. Or he's just letting you have your way with him. Whatever the case, your other hand firmly holds both of his down which only brings your faces closer together.

"Don't move."

"Okay," Seokmin agrees and licks his lips, "at least you know what consent means."

"Are you consenting?"

"Depends on what to."

"Me taking off your shirt."

"… Should I be flattered?"

"Very."

Brown eyes close, his brow furrowing. For a minute, you think you've accidentally taken things too far and are about to quickly apologize and backpedal before things backfire until his lips quirk up and Seokmin snorts.

"Never imagined you'd be stripping me like this."

You would agree because what the hell? All this for some abs? But the way he says it makes you pause.

"Have you imagined this before?"

Expecting him to panic or something, you're even more taken aback when he bites his lip like he's holding back more laughter. 

"And what if I have? You'll be offended even if I lie." 

You narrow your eyes challengingly while his sparkle. "Are you… flirting with me?" 

"That is not how I flirt but okay." 

"You're being weird. Weird weird. Like super-duper weird." 

"Says the one soaking my jeans, right now." 

You want to scream. Instead, you let out a scandalized gasp, eyes widening. The effort it takes to bolt away means you must release Seokmin. Something that doesn't even cross your mind with the shame heating up your cheeks, mortification setting off every sirening alarm in your nervous system.

Your first mistake.

Countless other mistakes will be made after this, but looking back — could they really be watered down to just a mistake after the end results? Why you're even so embarrassed in the first place is beyond you. And your best friend has zero intentions of letting you get away from him.

The minute Seokmin's hands are freed, one flies to keep your hips pressed against his while the other gently braces your back. Lifting his torso up with insane core strength he clearly was lying about not having, you have no choice but to wrap an arm instinctively around his neck like a koala. Your other hand curls into a fist, clinging against the fabric straining with the flex of his chest muscles while simultaneously attempting to push him back in a futile effort.

"Breathe," Seokmin murmurs in mild concern. His eyes crinkle as he smiles encouragingly. "Breathe for me, babe."

You hadn't even realized you were holding your breath. If you inched any closer forward, your nose would brush against his, and leaning too far back would end up with him on top of you again.

"This is all your fault, babe."

"You're the one that started this in the first place, babe."

"All I wanted was to see your abs," your voice drops to a pathetic whisper, "babe."

"All you had to do was ask, silly."

"I did!"

To your horror, he leans in even closer with a devious smirk so his nose brushes tenderly against yours. "For yourself. Not others."

"What… what are you playing at Seokmin?"

"It's like you misinterpret everything I do on purpose."

"I — "

"If you think I'm just playing around you're sorely mistaken."

A beat of silence. "Then what are you doing?"

"Nothing," he says innocently even though the hand on your back trails upwards and not-so-innocently unclasps the bra underneath your shirt. 

Your jaw drops. Of course, your modest top is still on and the shoulder straps keep your undergarment in place. Yet, you feel naked with the way Seokmin shamelessly ogles your covered chest and lets out a satisfied groan, pleased that you weren't wearing a sports bra. After all, it's not the first time he's done that for you — but it is under this strange context.

"Seokmin — "

"I'll do whatever you want me to do. Tell me." His voice is low, rougher than you've ever heard, causing tingles to shoot down your spine at the way he says your name. "I should take full responsibility for whatever happens."

His last sentence echoes over and over inside your head because yeah, what the hell is going to happen? — until you blurt out, "You find me attractive?"

Finally, Seokmin acts the way you expect and are familiar with, his shy demeanor coming out like sun rays peeking through overcast clouds. Bowing his head, forehead flopping on your shoulder, he admits defeat. 

"As if that's even a question, goofball."

"No way — there's no way! My bestie, you, find me, your bestie, like. Hot?"

"Look, I know it's cliché to fall for your friend and all that stupid shit," he grumbles, "but you don't have to sound so shocked. I already know thanks to Mingyu."

You freeze. "Know what?"

"… You're really going to make me say it?" he laughs in disbelief and shakes his head against your shoulder, causing your loose strap to slide down. "When my pride's already in tatters?"

Urging Seokmin to pick up his head and look at you, you face his brown eyes straight-on and cup his flushed cheek. "What did Mingyu say that crushed your pride?"

He sighs. "He told you I liked you before I ever got the chance to say it myself to you."

Your eyebrows raise. "He did?"

"Yeah. And I thought you just. Well. I don't know, I thought you were just ignoring it out of consideration or something. Obviously. Since you didn't say anything."

"… All 'cause I was pretty sure he blabbered about accidentally spilling the beans to you about me liking you."

The both of you pause, silently cursing poor Mingyu. He did mean well. Somehow.

"You're joking right," Seokmin whispers, "is this real?"

"What makes you think it's not."

"Because you've only ever returned my feelings in my dreams."

Your pride swells at that, wrapping your arms around his neck daringly. "Dream about me often?"

He falls backward on the bed, taking you down with him with your bodies pressed tightly together. You admire his handsome features with renewed thirst while he shuts his eyes, no longer forcing yourself to view him through the platonic lenses you'd kept on for so long.

Then his eyes flash back open and you flinch at the burning desire blazing within them. He's never looked at you like that, at least not directly and it ignites the equal yearning you feel for him like a match.

"Yeah," he answers your teasing question, "I do."

Just the thought alone makes you dizzy. Your best friend, your sweet and lovely Seokmin who puts up with all your bullshit, laying here on this exact bed with thoughts of you consuming his mind. Pining for you. Wanting you. Shit, you think he deserves to have all his fantasies come true. And you're more than happy to help him out. 

"What do we do in your dreams?"

"Everything. Anything."

An iron-clad grip will probably leave bruises behind but it's not enough to stop you from a slow, lazy grind of your hips. You sit up for more leverage, hands on his broad shoulders for support, watching with smugness oozing out of your smile as he struggles to continue his wholesome thoughts.

"Holding hands, cute dates, buying you pretty things… "

"C'mon babe," you tease, "what else?"

"Ah… " Seokmin sighs, throwing an arm over his face to hide his eyes though it can't hide the flush creeping up his neck, to his cheeks, and coloring his cute ears. "You know… "

"Nah, I don't. Not unless you tell me." 

"… Just gets lonely in bed. At night. Cold."

"We've slept together before when I've stayed the night and vice versa."

"Mhm, but never with my dick inside of you."

You coo, trying to keep up your unbothered façade as though the quickening pace of your hips isn't making an insane mess of his lap. 

"Poor little Seokminnie had to jerk off all by himself." Leaning down to whisper maliciously in the ear that isn't shielded by his elbow, "Or did you do it while I was laying next to you because you were so frustrated?"

"As if," he scoffs, "and I'm not sure what you mean by little."

Like a switch has flipped, two hands return and grip your hips, keeping them stationary. To prove his point hard, it's Seokmin's turn to grind his pelvis up into the moist heat of your covered cunt while holding you still to feel every agonizingly delicious drag of his cock. The way he can feel you pulse against him even through your thin shorts, the devastating whimper that leaves your mouth when the rough fabric manages to catch your clit just right make up for the mildly gross stickiness of precum inside of his jeans.

A sadistic grin leers at you, almost a snarl. Such a jarring contrast to the normally soft, fond looks you're used to and a shudder runs through your body at the shock, another rush of heated arousal dripping from your pussy.

It's cute, Seokmin thinks to himself, how you put up this act and think you're the one in control when it's really me, the one whose lap you're on.

"Can you even blame me?" he growls, not waiting nor expecting any answer as he sits back up, jostling your body in the process. "I was so good, so well-behaved in front of you. And yet you waltz around me with barely anything on all the damn time, flirting with all my friends in that skimpy bathing suit without a care in the world… "

You don't even know when you ended up on your back. Staring wide-eyed into Seokmin's narrowed ones, his eyelids fluttering as he recalls these memories, fist clenched and arms tense as he towers on top of you once again. He's panting, lower body still pressed against yours.

"Batting your eyelashes at me, giggling, grinding that sweet ass all over me on the dancefloor and then skipping away even though I wanted to touch you so badly… and if that's not torturing enough, constantly showing up in my dreams, always out of reach… So yeah, I'm just a little frustrated, sorry."

"I'm… I'm… I-I didn't know — "

"I know that. I know that and that's why I felt like utter trash. You didn't mean any of it and here I am throwing my disgusting fantasies on you."

"Don't say that," you plead and cup the side of his face, running your thumb repeatedly across his mole. "You're not trash, Seokmin. I wasn't thinking — I mean I didn't realize… I just — "

"Please," he interrupts suddenly, desperately begging. "Please tell me… if this… if this is going to be a spur of the moment, out of pity, and a one-time thing… please tell me you don't want this. That you don't want me — "

"I want to kiss you." 

You watch his body tremble before he takes a deep breath, smiling up at him as his eyes gradually open. They blink owlishly at you, nearly crossing in his attempt to scan your face if he really heard you correctly as you guide him by the jawline close to your lips.

"I want you, Seokmin."

To be honest, you've never really imagined what it'd feel like to kiss your best friend. The movies you've watched make it out to be magical, enchanting, and something out of a fairy tale. Sure, maybe they're not wrong but the majority of entertainment is the bad boy turning sweet or a soft boy remaining a gentleman.

Nothing's prepared you for awakening the beast in a good boy.

He kisses you with a ferocity that steals your breath from the get-go. A sensual clash of teeth, tongue, spit, love bites, and nips. Seokmin always had an enjoyable, pleasing tone to his voice and it sounds even better when he's grunting and groaning in the laidback battle for dominance.

Somehow, your clothes are merely disheveled and not ripped off despite continual tangling and grabbing at each other. Once again, you find yourself back on top as you gasp for air — having to push him away when he chases after you for more kisses. If you thought he was pretty before, he's even lovelier with shiny, swollen lips and a dazed, hungry look in his eyes.

Despite pouting at the sudden distance, the man astonishingly looks at you like you've hung the stars in the sky. As if he's never seen the ugly sides of you, your lowest and most embarrassing moments. His gaze trails from where you sit on his thighs to the rise and fall of your heaving chest to your blown-out pupils with such appreciation and awe that your cheeks are set aflame.

Although maybe you're just seeing a reflection of your own adoration. Running your hand down the toned length of one of his arms, you intertwine your fingers together. A smirk returns to your face as he squeezes back, distracted.

"So, can I see your abs now?"

Seokmin groans your name and chews on his lip, uncertain. You shrug and toy with the hem of your own shirt before decisively pulling it over your head. A blissed-out sigh escapes his mouth at the reveal.

Your bra is undone — thanks to his earlier mischief — and barely covers your breasts. Threatening to fall off at the slightest move, you pretend to protect what little modesty you might have and keep it in place with a free hand. 

"Tit for tat?" you tease.

He audibly gulps and you watch his Adam's apple bob. You wait patiently, letting him go at his own pace and back out if he wants. Though he does relent because he feels at comfort with you, revealing his gorgeous tan skin and upper body you hadn't seen in what feels like years.

"Omigod…" you gasp out and he cringes, upper body taut with nerves. "You've been hiding a six-pack away from the public for so long?"

"I — "

"I want to touch them."

"Why are you so obsessed with my abs?"

"'cause they're mythical. Like unicorns or… or Bigfoot."

"You're comparing me to a yeti?"

"Not yet…i!"

He rolls his eyes at the ridiculous pun. "I thought I was getting a 'tit for tat'?"

"Yeah," you nonchalantly slide off your loose bra and toss it somewhere on his bedroom floor. Seokmin doesn't even get to relish the bare sight of your tits for his own enjoyment because you're grumbling, "can't even show his best friend his fine ass abs," and he has to correct you.

"Maybe if I was your boyfriend, I'd show them to you all the time."

"Oh? Is that a promise? A threat? A distraction?"

"An offer. A suggestion even."

"It's pretty tempting," you play coy, "can I touch you if I say yes?"

"Only if I can touch you too."

"Then yes." Your pointer finger travels down the flexed crease of his skin to right above his belly button. "Can I see your dick now?"

"But I want… I'd like to… taste you."

"Later," you assure and daringly place a kiss above his waistband. Your hands tug at the belt when his hips stutter upwards. "Please?"

He's gone the moment you flutter your eyelashes at him and so are his ruined jeans. Discarded on the floor to join the growing number of other clothing when he says yes. 

Even Seokmin himself would admit he is indeed too soft for you but his cock certainly isn't. Your eyes nearly bug out when it flops against his stomach, angry red and leaking tears of precum. He grits his teeth at how much it aches, perfect jawline even more prominent. 

His self-esteem would have been dashed to pieces at the devastating frown on your pretty face but it's greatly inflated when all you can do is whimper out, "You're so big… "

"Yeah?"

Your best friend — no, now your boyfriend, you suppose — hisses when you blink at him. 

"There's no way you're gonna fit."

"Hah, 's never been a problem before." Nails dig into his thigh, the little show of possession at the mention of his previous partners wickedly giving Seokmin another ego boost. He's quick to try and appease you though by saying, "don't worry, babe… let me prep and taste you, I'll make it fit I promise and you'll feel good."

"Fuckin' sweet talker." You feel a hand reach out to temptingly slip under the band of your shorts. "Everything about you is always so sweet."

"'m sure you taste even sweeter." 

"Seokmin…" 

"Hm?" His touch grows bolder at the moan of his name, squeezing at the plumpness of your ass. "Will you please let me have a taste? Just wanna help you out." 

You won't be thinking I'm so sweet after this. 

Eager to touch him, you nod and start to take off your shorts but Seokmin is faster. Nearly tearing them off your body in excitement and somehow managing to position your bare lower body right where he wants it. 

Luckily, you're able to face his neglected cock. A shriek leaves your mouth, though, because the hardened tip of his tongue is searching for your clit, lathing and suckling on it when he does find it. 

You try to focus on your prize but it's difficult with the vigor he's attacking your throbbing, needy pussy. Seokmin holds you up high enough that he can leave occasional nips on the inner crease of your hips before harshly licking and sucking up your messy arousal. Shaking his head back and forth with an animalistic growl, all you can do is resort to pitiful kitten licks and slobbering mindlessly on just the side of his cock. 

The more you attempt to wrap your lips fully around the tip, the further down he brings you to his mouth until you're almost suffocating him. A brutal assault where you can only twitch your hips to which he agreeably grunts, gliding you across his open mouth ever so slightly. Unable to escape the throes of pleasure, not that you would want to — you give up and give in. 

Tears fill your eyes as your body convulses and shakes, staring longingly at his cock through bleary eyes. Seokmin's muffled moans as he gladly helps you ride out your orgasm with your fluttering hole clamping around his tongue barely registering in your ears. You feel like you're floating while underwater in the most delicious of ways. 

Seokmin manages to nudge you enough so he can catch his breath while waiting for you to come back to him. A fond smile on his lips when you're finally able to move and he helps you flop by his side. 

"Why on earth are you a pussy-eating pro?" 

"You keep complaining about things most people don't find fault in." 

"I wanted to suck the life out of you, not the opposite." You reach for his cock again but he stops you — again — and rubs the back of your hand consolingly while he wipes the wet mess you'd left on his face with a smirk like a badge of honor he takes pride in. "Lee Seokmin!" 

"Shhh, don't whine, baby. Almost there, I'll let you have my dick soon. Give it to you real good. Now that I've confirmed what a tight, good little pussy you have for myself, gotta make sure you're stretched out enough. Don't wanna hurt you." 

"It already hurts, 'm so empty, 'min." 

"Greedy," he snickers, knowing you're full of shit, and sits up. "After I just stuffed you with my tongue so well that you complained about it, now you want me again?" 

"Always want you. Always have. Didn't realize it before but it's true. 'm sorry, Seokkie, need you so bad though." 

"Lucky I like you so much. Now turn around, let me see that lovely ass of yours." 

You do as he says, clambering up on all fours and arching your back prettily, looking over your shoulder to see what he'll do next. 

The sight alone is a wet dream. He's licking his lips, brown eyes honed in on your puffy, seeping cunt until he's snapped out of the trance when he realizes you're watching him. He sticks out his tongue to pull a silly face and you shake your head in disbelief. 

A finger traces up your spine before it turns into his palm pushing down between your shoulder blades so your cheek is pressed into the pillows. You can just feel the heavy heat of his cock but he pulls away before you can savor it for too long. A constant tease that leaves you whining again in frustration and wiggling your hips enticingly, a futile effort. 

"I know you're desperate. 'm sorry, don't wanna cum too fast and disappoint you though." 

"You won't disappoint me." 

"Nope, I'll make it worthwhile. Promise. We can do whatever positions you want after this. I'd like to see you riding me like you do in my dreams, personally." Watching how you clench at his words, he chuckles. "Knew you'd like that too. Now, let's see…" 

He slips a digit inside your hole muttering, "There we go," and adds another. And another. Three fingers explore your gummy inner walls and he hums in contemplating tones before he begins scissoring motions to get your pussy to further open up. 

Your moans are muffled by the bed and Seokmin simply increases his pace to make them louder with a sneer of satisfaction you don't see. You do feel him kissing down the length of your spine, more love bites that make you squeal at each pinch. 

"So cute and perfect. What 'm I gonna do with you?" he asks and pretends to understand the unintelligible garble to his rhetorical question. "Yeah, that's right, babe. Fuck you even more stupid than you are now 'cause it's what you deserve." 

Retracting his fingers, licking them clean, and mumbling how pretty you are — then he's finally wrapping a veined hand around his even veinier cock to tease at your entrance. 

He plays with your wetness, coating his tip with it and making both your mouth and pussy drool. And god, does Seokmin relish the vision before him. 

You're everything to him and that thought alone makes him bite down on his lower lip, a bead of sweat trickling down his forehead. He doesn't want to fuck this up. Every muscle in his body tenses when he takes a deep breath and eases himself inside, enraptured with the way your soft pussy lips part and cling around his length to welcome him. 

When he glances up to check how you're doing, he has to reign himself back from exploding or thrusting insensitively all the way in. The way your eyes roll up, a stain of drool left on his blanket, and the feeble thank you's followed by a filthy series of moans — he lets out a string of curses that would make even a depraved whore blush out of shyness. 

"S'big, s'full," you hiccup, clenching and unclenching in rapid successions that has Seokmin wheezing, though he tries to comfort you. 

"'m not even all the way inside, sweetheart. Bear with me, babe. Breathe. I've got you." 

"Got me… hella fuckin' full."

"You can take it. I know you can." He pushes his hips forward a bit more. "There you go, sweetheart. Relax just a tiny bit… Yeah, that's it…" 

Praises fall from his lips and you sob at both the goddamn stretch and unfathomable pleasure. You already feel him buried in your gut reaching spots you didn't even know existed by the time he's almost bottomed out for his pelvis to press temptingly against your ass — you're pretty sure you can feel him in your lungs at this point.

"S'deep…!" 

"Feel so fucking good… d'ya need me to pull out a little, baby? You still with me?" 

You answer him by bravely using whatever strength — or more like the urge for him to split you open and take it all because you want to be as good as he's telling you that you are for him — and push yourself back so he's fully seated within your tight cunt. 

You're probably screaming if your raspy throat and ringing ears are anything to go by. He's panting and rubbing his forehead with a groan. 

"Fuck, what are you so hot for?" 

The air feels like it's been punched out of his lungs, the same way his cock is being suctioned and squeezed. In an effort to wrangle whatever control is left within himself, Seokmin focuses on your body and how it reacts. Laying over your arched back to press your bare bodies close together in an intimate fashion. 

You can feel his necklace and its cool touch on your burning skin. The recollection of never seeing him without it since gifting it to him reignites a possessive streak in you and has your pussy pulsing around him more fervently. Suddenly you long to have his mark engraved on you permanently, etched into your body and soul just like the inanimate object. 

It's almost a shame when he pauses to tug it free so it doesn't break and let it hang over your shoulder instead. Not that it matters much, for you'd only have a temporary imprint of a dog tag shape on your back. 

As if he can read your muddled mind (he probably can), Seokmin makes up for it in his concentration to delay his dizzy cloud of absolute unbridled lust. He's already left many physical reminders of his touch where you'll definitely be sore later scattered around your body and as a bonus — bites down where your neck meets your shoulder. 

(You have no idea how you'll explain the obvious teeth marks to your friends the next day but you know they'll know. Especially when Seokmin — the little shit that he is — shamelessly shows off the various marks you'll leave all over him later tonight.)

But you don't think about that right now, any and all thoughts consumed of him, him, and him. You're full. So full. Oh, how you ache to run your fingers across his gorgeous body the same way he's able to yours, sneaking a hand underneath to fondle at your breasts and tug at your nipples. You suppose that can wait, already inching toward another crashing orgasm when he's unable to stay still anymore and starts shallow, cautious thrusts.

"Mm, ah, 'min… Seok… min… "

"'m here baby, you're gonna cum for me already, aren't ya?" He pulls his dick out far enough to see the way your essence glistens and coats his length and then smoothly stuffs you full again. "Go on and cream on my cock, make me yours."

Shockingly you shake your head. "No, too soon!"

"S'kay, I know you can give me another one after. If you let go now, it'll feel even better after. You're still so tight, I can barely move."

You really can't believe you're about to climax so soon again. There's not really a choice to hold it off anyways, especially when his hand moves away from your tits and mercilessly rubs your clit. He could've just fucked your throat raw with how hoarse your voice is now with all the sounds he's drawn out of you.

As you recover from the fuzziness of a second orgasm, he'd taken out his cock that's basically gone numb at this point (he's not sure if that's a good thing or not), and appreciates the delectable view of how your hole has been stretched out perfectly in the shape of his cock to accommodate him so sweetly. It all screams I am Seokmin's and he fucking adores it. And you.

There's only one thing left to do. Paint you with the color white.

"You ready for me?" 

You breathlessly huff out a yes but honestly, you're unsure if you will be able to handle another peak without passing out. Seokmin soothes you, whispering that this will be the last one for this round accompanied by two chaste kisses on each of your shoulder blades. So wonderful and perfect, he reminds and suddenly you can do anything he asked of you.

Which is good because he's finally snapping his hips hard and fast with better ability, drilling into your warm, wet pussy he calls his that confirms that ownership itself with filthy noises of agreement and gushes of more arousal. You moan out a mix of yes, yours, and his name — growing so fucked out that when he asks you where you want him to cum, all you do is feebly bounce your asscheeks against his abs when he refuses to move.

"Shit, you gotta tell me now or I'll… fuck, I'll do it inside. I-I know you're on the pill but… "

"Please…"

"You'd look pretty with it all over your back but also spilling out of your pussy… "

"If you don't cum right now anywhere… I'll cry."

"You're already crying." His thumb brushes at the trail of tears that spilled over your eyelids.

"Seokmin…!"

"'m sorry, let me give you what you want."

His hips resume slamming at a rapid pace, hitting deep within that magic bundle of nerves without fail. Stars swim in your vision and the mind-numbing pressure twisting in your lower gut builds up without warning.

It's a silent scream this time and a peak that doesn't seem to end. As your body violently shudders and shakes for what feels like hours at its intensity, Seokmin's release is triggered. Gently thrusting as you spasm around him, milking his cock as it starts to fill you up with a comforting warmth. In a daze, he's forced out by the end of your explosive orgasm and watches with a slack jaw in awe.

He's managed to leave beautiful lines of white across your ass and back as intended. Though the bit he'd left inside of you is mostly expelled by you squirting and coating his thighs with your release, if he looks close enough, there are still globs of cream left around the outer lips of your cunt that has him groaning.

"This is better than what I've dreamt about."

"Of course. Real thing is always better."

"In this case, yes." 

"… Do you still think I'm sweet?"

"… Somehow, yes."

Seokmin laughs as you collapse flat against the bed. You need to clean up but both of you can afford to rest a little first. He lays down next to you on his side, bringing you into his arms and you immediately snuggle your face into his chest before fixing him with a serious gaze.

"I don't get it."

He stiffens in fear. "Wh-what?"

"You fucked your previous partners, right?"

"Um… most… of them… "

"Like this?"

"Uh… " he narrows his eyes. "What… what do you mean?"

"There's no way they would've wanted to let you go if you got a stroke game and stamina this good. Unless you were just too much of a beast in the sheets — which I could understand."

His arms tighten around you. "I'm sorry, did I go too hard on you? I just didn't wanna cum too fast."

"No, you're insane but it was… incredible. You're the unreal one here."

"Didn't expect that when you harassed me about my abs, huh?"

"I did not harass you and of course not, did you?"

"No, but… I'm glad it did. You… don't…  you don't regret it, do you?"

"No, why would I?" He breathes out a tiny sigh of relief which has you raising an eyebrow but you continue on. "I don't get why they didn't try harder to stick around. I mean you're perfect. In all aspects. I one-hundred-percent mean that."

"They weren't you, though. I'm sincere when I say you've always been the one. I was just afraid…" 

"You're a damn good actor, you know that. I had no idea."

Your favorite smile beams at you. "I did major in theater. And we're both kinda idiots."

You slap at his chest playfully and he covers your hand with his. "I like you too, you know that? Like really mean it when I say I do. Even if you just obliterated my fucking vagina out of existence."

"There's no way, I most certainly did not." He kisses your forehead. "'cause you still have to ride me like promised."

"I don't think I'll be able to."

Your eyes close, ignoring Seokmin's gasp of shock and protests about cleaning up. He can tell you're pretty exhausted and acquiesces, shifting you into a position more comfortable for you to be able to doze off for a bit.

But you take that opportunity to spring to life, sucking the nastiest hickey on his neck right above his silver chain. One that will take weeks to heal. He lets out a moan as you do it and when you back away, the atmosphere has heated up again.

"You're giving me a hard time," he points out with an eyebrow wiggle and you giggle. 

Urging him to roll over, you lug your aching limbs up and over so you can straddle his upper body. Adding more and more love marks and bites on his chest, neck, and arms. It's your turn to stake a hushed claim of mine whispered into his ears that you nip at. And he giggles, loving the attention you're showering him with.

His cock is stirring to life under your ministrations as is another pool of arousal swirling in your gut. Despite the hiss of oversensitivity and slight pain you both feel, you ease his length back inside. Nearly crying out because this new angle means he's stuffed in you even more, you don't know if he can fit until you're gasping in relief once you're successful.

He tentatively brushes his fingers against the bulge that appears in your lower tummy, wanton moans erupting from both of you at the gesture. It sends chills down your spine and you shiver.

"Gonna have to help me move, dunno if I have enough strength to make your dreams come true."

"S'kay, we have forever to act them out again and again," he reassures you which erases your pout. "You'll get used to me with enough practice."

"You think so?"

"Well, we can only test that theory to make sure."

You giggle as he pulls you in for a tender kiss by the back of your neck. "You're naughtier than I could've ever imagined."

"But you love it. You love me." His smug look only grows at your agreeing hum and when he flexes his abs. "Now, shall we see if all the work I put into my abs is worth it, babe?"

onlyseokmins: February 2023 ©

Taglist: @joshibambi @junhui-recs @pandorashbox @rubyscoups @woozluv @darlingvernon @charcharfairy @httpswonwoosglasses @yeosayang @buffhoshi @horanghae8star @noraehey @misssugarlips @tinkerbell460 @aceofvernons @dejavernon

[leclerc-s]

snow angel - track two

series masterlist // previous // next

2 YEARS AGO

i'll fucking fight him. i swear it.

no honey, you don't have to.

i saw this coming.

how on earth could you see this coming?

he was distant.

i've told him i loved him for days and he always responded me "me too" or worse he said nothing back

oh sweetie

how did you put up with that? you deserve so much better.

it's okay. i'm moving out of our apartment tonight. ryan said i can stay with him for a few weeks.

i love him lily. i don’t know when those feelings will go away. i hope they go away soon. i can’t keep loving someone who hurt me this bad.

i promise you i’ll fight him when i see him in bahrain next season.

i hope he dnfs

i hope you write a fucking day destroying album because of this. he will never know peace

oh lily, i'm going to ruin his fucking life with whatever i come with.

lily muni he removed lando norris

lily muni he fuck that guy

charles leclerc i do not understand what happened? george russell you're telling me the chronically online guy doesn't know what just happened? alex albon the grid's #1 gossip girl doesn't know what happened? charles leclerc NO I DON'T KNOW THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING CONNARDS!

pierre gasly lando cheated on rhea

max verstappen i can crash into him in bahrain next season?

yuki tsunoda i will bite his ankles. lily muni he i'll poison his food yuki tsunoda we will not go that far. food is sacred.

esteban ocon does this mean that **** can finally **** ***?

lance stroll how about you shut the fuck up esteban? max verstappen what the fuck are you two going on about now? lance stroll ignore esteban. he's a bit delirious.

daniel ricciardo i promise to make his life miserable next year.

rhea reynolds i'm just pissed that he was too much of a coward to end our relationship before he went on to publicly cheat on me.

rhea reynolds at least try to not get caught.

charles leclerc what is it the kids say? he fumbled?

lance stroll please never use that phrase again

pierre gasly she's probably crying to taylor swift now

rhea reynolds LET ME BE PEAR GASLY! daniel ricciardo yeah, pierre let the girl be emotional! rhea reynolds if i'm crying to all too well that's nobody's business but mine

charles leclerc you can come to bahrain with me!

max verstappen or me! daniel ricciardo you're both thinking too small. show up with me. can't promise i'll have a good race or win but it'll show him!

rhea reynolds thanks guys but i'm not really up to going to races anytime soon.

lily muni he never let a man take anything from you. GO TO THE RACE!

rhea reynolds nah, not really up for it right now but i could change my mind in a few months. it's literally december!

charles leclerc i will save a spot for you regardless.

yukitsunoda it's okay, i can bite his ankles if he comes near you.

rhea reynolds i appreciate the sentiment yuki

rhea reynolds besides, i'll never date another fucking driver again.

rheareynolds posted new stories

nothing better than taylor swift to help with heartbreak who needs men when cats are much better company?

liked by lilymhe, charles_leclerc, mickschumacher and others

rheareynolds home for the holidays update: i adopted a cat, i got cheated on (i should stick to dating women), and goats hate ryan. p.s. the first picture is what i sent to max when he made fun of me for getting cheated on.

tagged: vancityreynolds

view all comments

maxverstappen33 THAT’S NOT TRUE AND YOU KNOW IT!

↳ rheareynolds you told me and i quote, “that’s what you get for dating a guy who looks like a walking orange.”

↳ maxverstappen33 i called him ernie and then a walking orange. get it right.

lilymhe my offer still stands

↳ yukitsunoda0511 mine too! i can bite ankles!

↳ rheareynolds thanks guys but i'd rather not have to bail you out of jail for assault.

user01 so did they break up? or what? the chismosa in me needs to know

user02 it's okay rhea, he didn't deserve you

user03 fuck men, am i right?

comment liked by rheareynolds

vancityreynolds you're lying to everyone blake made those cinnamon rolls, not you.

↳ rheareynolds must you ruin everything?

↳ vancityreynolds it's my job as your older brother.

georgerussell63 why get an orange cat when he's a walking orange?

↳ alex_albon because rhea is the embodiment of an orange cat

↳ rheareynolds it's true. i've been told many times

user04 love to see that loser's friends are on her side. how are you going to publicly cheat on your girlfriend?

↳ user05 but did he cheat? what if they were broken up?

↳ user06 either you can't read (no offense) or you didn't read the caption, she literally says, "i got cheated on" they were very much together. stop trying to invalidate her pain because you love l*ndo

user07 it's okay baby, you can date me instead

↳ rheareynolds thanks for the offer babes but i should stick to being single for a while ❤️

↳ user07 i'm screaming!

user08 rhea's better than me fr. i would've destroyed his car carrie underwood style.

maxfretwell going to miss your cookies. that's the worst part about all of this

↳ rheareynolds yeah cause fuck my heartbreak right?

↳ maxfretwell that's not what i meant and you know it!

↳ rheareynolds can't wait to see the gossip pages say max fretwell says rhea reynolds' heartbreak is not validated

↳ maxfretwell i take it all back this is why he cheated on you

↳ rheareynolds TOO SOON FRETWELL!

↳ user09 curse n*rris for taking this duo away from us!

taglist: @emilyval @ihateyougunthersteiner @lesliiieeeee @firetruckstuckley @cashtons-wife @landonorizzz @yoremins

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¡leclerc-s speaks! i was listening to say don't go while write the first half of this. hence, the reference to the song.

¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

[jasntodds]

Penance [7]

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader

Words: 8,230

Chapter Warnings: Swearing, fluff, mentions of death, hurt/comfort, mentions of scars, small description of jason's autopsy scar, smut, 18+ mdni

Summary: ❝Thesus: Stop. Give me your hand. I am your friend. Herakles: I fear to stain your clothes with blood. Thesus: Stain them. I don’t care.❞

It’s been a month and a half since Crane’s reign of terror was stopped, leaving Gotham to finally return to normal. But, what is normal? After everything Jason and you have been through, it seems normal might be some unobtainable dream state. But that’s not going to stop either of you from trying and maybe, you’ll get lucky in the end. At the end of it, the two of you have suffered enough, right?

Right?

A/N: It was my birthday a few weeks ago and 2 days later I was in the ER with a bad kidney infection so that's why this is late lol I'm sorry!! lol You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary  and turn on notifications if you prefer that!! I love feedback, I swear it keeps me posting on a weekly basis 😭

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Jason and you patrol together and it feels like old times. You work well together just as you always have and it’s something the both of you really needed. Patrolling with Tim was different because you had to and you couldn’t really do it how you were used to because it was about training Tim and showing him the ropes. But this? This is like it always was, fighting side by side, teaming up and taking turns interrogating people. You stop at Excellent Gotham halfway through and park yourselves by Jason’s favorite gargoyle to eat.

You think tonight is healing parts of you. You felt hopeless before and now you're sitting here with your favorite person as if nothing has really changed. Maybe you don’t need to punish yourself all of the time and maybe this can be good. Maybe you can let yourself heal from everything. If Jason can, don’t you deserve to try?

“Wasn’t too boring tonight, was it?” Jason quips, the both of you back in your street clothes as you stand outside of your apartment building, Jason having rode home with you to make sure you got home safe.

“Eh.” You shrug. “It was alright I guess.” You scrunch your nose at him.

“Alright?!” Jason scoffs. “Bullshit. I’m a fucking trip.”

“You’re something.” You let out a cackle and Jason is relieved to see you look so happy. You looked lost earlier. “Can I ask you something?” You ask.

“What’s up?” Jason shifts his weight to his left leg, resting the helmet on his hip.

“When do you go see Leslie again?” You look down, tugging your sleeves over your hands before your eyes come up to Jason's.

Jason's brows raise slightly before he shrugs. “Uh…few days, why?”

“Can you, uh, a-ask her if she…ya know…maybe I need…to go.”

Jason nods his head with a warm smile. “Yeah, I’ll ask her and give her your number.”

“Thanks, Jay.” You give him a small and shy smile.

“Of course.” Jason smiles softly. “Hate fucking admitting it, but it’s been helping a bit again.”

“Good. I, uh, that’s why I wanna go. Might be for the best.”

“Good. Can’t hurt.” Jason nods his head.

“Yeah.” You smile softly. “Well, I’m gonna head in but thanks for tonight.”

“Do it again?” The corner of Jason's tugs into a hopeful smirk.

“Hell yeah.” You laugh softly. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” You beam before spinning on your heels and entering the apartment building.

A smile is stretched across your face as you make your way up the three flights of stairs to your apartment. No part of you believes going to see Leslie is going to be easy but if she’s helping Jason who literally died, surely she can help you. And it feels really good to finally feel like you and Jason might be falling back into some sort of normal after everything.

You enter your apartment, pressing your back against the door as it shuts behind you. The TV is playing quietly from the living room, the rest of the apartment is dark. You're so stuck on how well the night went, you almost miss the sound of Molly’s voice coming from your living room.

“Molly?” You question, pushing off the door and walking the few feet into the kitchen, looking into the living room thanks to the open concept layout.

Molly is leaning against the arm of the couch holding her phone against her thighs. A wide smile splits her face as Jurassic Park is playing on the TV. Molly is still rambling on about the first time she saw the movie, completely ignoring your presence. You roll your eyes and walk over to the back of the couch, looking at her phone screen.

“Hey.” Gar chimes.

Molly jumps. “When did you get back?” Molly ask.

“Just now?” You question. “Hey, Gar?” Your brows furrow, looking between the two of them.

Nothing going on, sure.

Molly looks at the time on her phone. “Did it go okay? You’re not mad are you?” Molly questions.

“What happened?” Gar asks.

You look between the two of them and maybe nothing is going on but from where you're standing, it definitely looks like it. You aren't even upset about it, but if something is going on, you think it's weird and confusing neither one of them would just say something but you aren't going to push. It's not really your business or your place. So, you decide, you're not even gonna say anything. You'll sit back and see what happens with them.

“Nothing?” You shake your head. “We patrolled together, grabbed some food, and came back.” You shrug your shoulders. “So, I’m gonna shower and head to bed.” You reach over the couch and steal a handful of popcorn from Molly’s bowl. You glance to the TV, watching the water in the cup on the dash of the Jeep start to vibrate. “You guys are missing the best part.” You state as you start walking away. “Get it together, guys.” You make your voice cheery, making sure they know you're joking and you can hear Molly laugh quietly as you enter your room.

You grab your change of clothes before heading to the bathroom and hopping in the shower. Music plays through the bathroom until it's interrupted by a ding from a text. You peek out of the shower just in time to see your phone screen still on with Jason’s contact on your screen. He’s texted you a quick ‘made it home’. You smile to yourself and continue washing your hair while your phone chimes again. This time when you look over, it’s a second text from Jason telling you you should just meet him at his place around noon and you can go to Home Depot together. You roll your eyes but your smile is glued to your lips while you finish your shower.

You take a seat on the toilet seat with a towel draped around your body. You pick up your phone while your stomach bubbles and twists.

You: What? Don’t trust my driving?

Jaybird: No ☠️

You: Fuck you 🔪

Jaybird: I’m really shaking in my boots babe

You: You suck

Jaybird: 🤤

You: 🤮

Jaybird: 🖕

You: Ill see you tomorrow I do like to be chauffeured around

Jaybird: How many times did it take autocorrect to get that word right?

Your jaw drops before you burst out laughing. He’s such an asshole but it did take more than a few tries to get that damn word right and he would know.

You: I will walk over to your apartment and fucking stab you so fucking help me jason todd

Jaybird: You’d have to catch me first babe

You: That a dare?

Jaybird: I dare you

You: Okay

You toss your phone and immediately start getting dressed in sweats. You don’t bother with makeup or anything else. You get the bathroom tidied up before you exit the bathroom, phone in hand before you go for your backpack. Molly is still peaking over the couch on her Facetime call with Gar.

“What’re you doing?” Molly asks.

“Going to stab Jason.” You answer casually while Molly looks to her phone at Gar.

“She’s doing what?”

“He dared me, Gar!” You yell but Molly and Gar can tell by the airiness in your voice it's really not that serious.

“He dared you to stab him?” Molly asks, unsure if she really heard you correctly or if she really wants to any sort of context.

You widen your eyes at her, nodding your head quickly. “Yeah! And I’m not gonna back down. It’s a dare.” You scoff with the furrow of your brows.

“Were they always this weird?” Molly asks Gar.

“Hey!” You yell.

“Yes.” Gar answers with a nod.

“Okay, I’ll be back!” You call with a smile as you kick your shoes on and head out, locking the three locks on your way out.

Jason prepares for you to get there, knowing you take dares seriously. He unlocks the door and shuts every light off in the place. If you want to come for him, he’s not going to make it easy. That ruins the game. It’s silly and he knows but at this point, he doesn’t want to miss even a single opportunity with you. Yes, he shouldn't have wasted a month and a half and neither should you but he’s thinking maybe that was for the best. It did give you both space to start to healing. It gave you both space to start setting up your own lives and finding out who you are today. It seems to have helped and there’s nothing saying you can’t continue while trying to get back what you once had. Optimism is not something that ever came easy to Jason Todd but he’s letting himself feel optimistic about you for just a second.

You pull up to Jason's place, seeing it’s completely dark. At first, it almost scares you, thinking maybe something happened and this is a trap. That would be something that could happen. But, that thought fades quickly because you don’t have that pit in your stomach and Jason would never have played along with anything to endanger you. This is Jason being a shit.

You dig in your bag and pull out your phone, using the flashlight as you enter the building, keeping light on your toes.

“Finally.” Jason's voice rings through the speaker system. “Usual rules?”

This was something you did at the Manor when Bruce was out. You blacked out the entire house, the only light would come from the moon outside. Other than that, it was just you two and a black house trying to locate each other. The only rules were not to permanently injure the other one -- don’t shove each other down the stairs and no lethal weapons. First person to disarm the other wins.

“You’re on, Jay.” You call as you shut your flashlight off, pocketing your phone.

You have your hands at your sides as they start to warm and glow a vibrant shade of green. Your steps are careful, using the glow to guide your feet. Back at the manor, you didn’t even need the light from your hands at one point. You had the whole place memorized from doing this with Jason which did kind of defeat some of the purpose of the blacking out the building but it served enough purpose. Plus, there are more stakes. It has the same premise as Dick’s whole thing with the blindfolds but this is more fun.

Jason is positioned at the end of the hall, carefully listening. He can see the glow of your hands which he said was cheating at first, until he realized he can also find you. He doesn’t need the glowing but it’s definitely not a bad thing to have on his end. So, he stands against the wall, watching and listening to you walk closer. His eyes track you, knowing you’ll search the full hallway before attempting the stairs. A part of him wants to dodge around you and essentially play a weird game of hide and seek but instead, he keeps his feet planted. The idea is to disarm, not to find.

Your hands stop glowing the further down the hallway you get. Jason's brows furrow, still listening to your footsteps. They echo softly no matter how light on your feet you try to be. If you know anything, it’s that Jason likes to play games. He’s going to make finding him easy the first time because that’s the point. And then you’ll have to spar it out until one of you backs off and runs off. He’s done this before so you keep walking with soft feet until you reach the end of the hallway. Jason is like a radiator. He could heat up an entire room if left there long enough so as you stand right in front of him, you can feel the space between you growing warmer.

You strike first, just missing his head as Jason grabs your arm. He spins you around as you kick your leg around his, sending you both to the ground. Jason falls on top of you, barely catching his weight on his hands to not crush you and you don’t miss a beat, crawling from under him only for Jason to grab your ankle and yank you back. Jason hears your laugh through a squeal.

“That’s a fucking ego boost.” Jason laughs with you.

“You’re not scary, sorry, Jay.” You tease, yanking your ankle free.

“Lotta people'd beg to differ." Jason defends as he hears you run off down the hallway.

“Not to me!” You sing-song, your voice echoing off the walls and staircase.

A smile stretches across Jason’s face as he shakes his head. He starts walking after you, not hearing your footsteps anymore and he knows you've hidden yourself behind some sort of corner so he’s careful with his steps.

A large part of him thought the good parts of him died and the pit kept them. It kept them in exchange for his life, maybe that’s just the price he was to pay in order to live. Someone can’t come back to life without sacrificing something. Look at Ra’s. But, over the last few days, he’s learning that may not have been in the case.

His bones still ache and something still feels hauntingly different but the good parts of him are still there. Tim didn’t even blink when Jason showed up in the alley, he was so unbothered by all of Jason’s training methods that even got you to pitch a fit every once in a while. Jason had a good time training Tim and him and you are back to doing this stupid game in the middle of the night with laughter bouncing off of the walls. He’s smiled more the last few days than he has in two months. Maybe the good parts of him aren’t entirely gone. They were just covered in guilt and remorse.

You're tucked away in a corner and you always wonder how Jason manages to be so silent as he walks. You can be quiet but you can’t even tell when he’s moving until it’s almost too late. It’s for his own protection, he’s been doing this longer, but it’s always fascinating to you and it'd be a little scary if you didn't know him. One second he’s down the hall and the next, he’s standing in front of you without ever making a sound. It’s his most intimidating quality.

But you're careful anyway, listening, focusing on your surroundings and then the hairs stand up on the back of your neck with a subtle throb starting to your right. You dodge just as Jason's fist flies through the air and you grab his arm, elbowing the inside of his arm. Jason lets out a groan and you twist it around before Jason laughs.

“It’s cute you think you still stand a chance.”

“I’ve taken you before.” You quip, holding his arm behind his back.

“You’re out of practice.” Jason chuckles, pulling his arm away before he spins back around, going to grab you but you jump back.

“So are you.” You quip.

“You sure?” Jason asks making you nearly scream. He’s right in front of you now and you didn’t feel him that time. His breath is fanning over your face and without needing to see him, you can tell he’s smirking, cheeks probably that pretty shade of pink.

“Uh-huh.” Your voice catches in your throat.

“Right.” Jason gives you this chuckle that makes you want to kiss the smirk off of his face but you know you can’t very well do that now so instead, you make your move.

You quickly slide to the right before kicking his feet from under him. Jason lands on a knee and he swipes his leg across the floor, knocking you down just as you try to run off. It’s Jason’s turn to get to his feet and find a new spot.

The two of you go back and forth like this and it’s different this time. Usually, you spar hard and you both make solid efforts to disarm the other but this time, you’re spending a lot of time hiding and running. It wasn’t so much intentional at first from either of you but the more you do it, the more you realize this is just more time to spend together. Tomorrow comes eventually and tomorrow always has some sort of surprise in it. Tonight, you don’t wanna worry about that. You spend your time in the dark, finding each other and going back forth with fists and quips.

Two hours in, Jason is hiding out on the landing of the first staircase, tucked away in the corner. The window is two feet away from him, the city lights cascading through the pains and onto the wood flooring. His eyes stay trained in front of him, hearing you from downstairs walking around. You've been looking for a few minutes and Jason is wondering if you’ll give up. And then he hears a smack and a groan from down the stairs. Jason has to stifle his own laugh, far nicer than you who burst out laughing when Jason hit the doorframe. You seem to recover okay, your steps picking up a few seconds later and he can hear you ascending the staircase.

Your steps stop right at the top.

You roll your eyes and you know damn well Jason is right behind the light of the window. He’ll be able to see you before you can see him. And if you know anything about him, you know he’s standing right in the corner, right foot lifted and pressed against the wall with his arms crossed and that stupid smirk on his lips. This game was never very fair from your perspective. You've never won. Jason’s senses have always been better, Bruce trained him well. As much as you hate the thought. You let out a sigh, take two steps forward and stand directly in the light, a taunt telling Jason to get it over with.

Jason pushes off the wall with his right foot and makes his move but he’s cautious. You do not give up, especially to him when there’s a game like this in play. He strikes first, you block him in an instant, using the light to drag him from the shadows and you get him with your knee right in his side. Jason doesn’t even flinch, throwing another hit, this time hitting you on your side. The two go back and forth, breathing turning heavy as you use the city lights to your advantage. But, it’s Jason who gets the upper hand as he almost always does, grabbing both of your wrists as you use one to try to punch him and the other to block his hands. His grip is tight and unwavering.

Jason’s chest is nearly touching yours as you look up at him. There’s a devious gleam you can make out even in the low light, the corners of his mouth perked into a subtle smirk. Your heart jumps into your throat.

“Giving up so quick?” Jason questions.

“No.” You let out a soft pout but you aren’t fighting him.

Jason can feel his heartbeat on his tongue. His grip loosens on your wrists but he doesn’t let go. Instead, his thumb rubs your skin softly, not even realizing he’s doing it. It’s been hours and he’s been having a blast and he knows she is, too. For the life of him, he can’t figure out why you both let time go by. He does know why, because it all hurt but maybe it was just getting over the hump of it all. He thinks it must be just as hard for you to overcome as it is for him. But, you both always seemed to be able to cope better around each other. It’s the understanding of every action and word that leaves your lips. The feeling that you’ll both never be alone.

Jason nods once. “Not trying very hard.” Jason whispers softly.

Last night felt so good and cathartic. Maybe you just want to live in another one of those moments for a few minutes.

“You’ll just tighten your grip.” You whisper back, watching a cheeky smirk grow on his lips.

“Doesn’t seem to bother you much.” Jason quips and his eyes glance to your lips.

What if he kisses you anyway? Just one more time. Then you can do this friend thing with the game and the banter. What if he kisses you anyway?

“No.” You answer back, glancing to his lips.

What if you kiss him? Just one more time and then you can do the whole friend like you did before. What if you kiss him?

“How’re you gonna get out of this then?” Jason quips.

Fuck it.

You lunge forward, your lips connecting with Jason’s. He groans and immediately drops your wrists as his hands come to your cheeks, pulling you closer to him. Jason melts right into you, nearly exploding at the seams with the very thought you were thinking the same thing he was.

His mouth moves with yours and you push forward until Jason’s back hits the wall. Jason grabs your hips, turning you both around so your back is pinned against the wall. He kisses down your neck, nipping and biting at the flesh. Your heartbeat skyrockets as your hand tangles into his messy hair. Your eyes are closed as a soft moan escapes your lips. Jason bites down, sucking a mark into your skin.

You pull his head back to your lips, the kiss turning sloppy and wet. Jason slides his hands under your thighs, picking you up to pin you against the wall as his knee slots into between your legs. His thigh hits just the right spot making you let out a moan into his mouth immediately followed by a groan.

You pull his hair back, getting a pretty groan from Jason before you go to his neck, leaving your own purple mark. Jason holds your hips helping you grind down against his thigh. The sound of your desperate gasps makes him want to lose his mind. He wants to surrender all control he has ever had and forget anything bad ever happened. His head is lust drunk and all he wants is you. His bulge is growing and throbbing through his sweatpants, desperately wanting free.

You feel yourself growing closer and wetter but more desperate. There’s not quite enough friction and he knows it. He knows this only ever gets you teetering on the edge but it’s never quite enough. He knows exactly what he’s doing and you want to bite him. Your pussy throbs and aches for something to fill you up.

“Jay.” You pant desperately into his mouth.

He fucking snickers.

And stills your hips.

“Jay.” Your brows pinch together as if you're in pain.

“What’s that?”Jason teases.

“Fuck. You.” You nod your head, trying to move your hips but his grip keeps you steady.

Jason leans forward, nipping up your neck making you whine. He can feel your pulse against his lips as he kisses his way up to your cheek. You feel him grin against your skin and you think your skin might set the both of you on fire.

“Say please.” Jason mocks you, whispering in your ear, his voice deep and graveled.

You think you've melted into the palms of his hands.

Jason loosens his grip slightly, allowing you to get some friction for just a few seconds before stilling your hips.

“Didn't hear ya, babe?” Jason’s eyes lock on yours with the quick raise of his brows, using all of his self-control not to cave himself.

There's a sliver of you that wants to push him, see who can actually outlast the other because you know it'll be him begging for you in about ten minutes. But, your head is swimming and your body is erupting in goosebumps. The desperation of wanting him all over you makes you lose every other thought that was once there.

You kiss him, keeping your lips close to his, pulling away just enough to speak. “Please.”

Jason doesn’t waste a single second to dropping his knee as his lips connect back with yours.

Jason pulls you with him, his back towards the second set of stairs as you both walk up them, unsteadily with your lips connected. Once you’re up the stairs, Jason is grabbing the hem of your hoodie, tugging it over you and tossing it on the floor. Jason’s hoodie is next, tossed somewhere in the dark hallway. By the time you reach Jason’s room, he’s tugging your top off and tossing it to the floor.

It’s all hasty and hot, desperate and needy as Jason pulls you to his bed. He lands on top of you, catching you to mind your fall and your hands are under his shirt. They’re warm and soft. They make him feel whole again.

The words ‘i need you’ circle his brain but never quite make it out. He needs you like he needs air. You're the breath of fresh air on the first day of spring. It’s the first day the air doesn’t hurt his lungs. You taste how the word cathartic sounds. He needs you like he needs the oxygen in his lungs.

You scratch up his back and Jason arches his back right into you. His head spins. His lips trail down to your cheek and then your neck. He leaves a second mark in his wake and your head falls fuzzy. You aren’t even entirely sure you're even here anymore. All you know is that you want him and your skin is on fire. You can’t form a single coherent thought as Jason makes his way down to your collarbone, leaving yet another mark. All you can think about his him. His mouth and his the way his teeth graze over your skin, how warm his hand is as it trails up to your breast. All you can think about is the pretty moans and groans that leave his lips as you claw his back again. You've turned to mush all over again.

He presses some kisses around where your braw cuts off, just enough to tease you before he comes back up, kissing your lips. And all you know for certain is how badly you need him. You need him today and tomorrow and every day after. Every moment with him is worth every bit of pain and agony. Every moment without him is boring and lackluster. Jason walks into a room and it’s like a color bomb explodes through the room. His laugh could light up the darkest of hallways and his eyes are the prettiest shade of green, they could convert anyway to love the color. Breathing is easier whenever he's around.

Your hands go to the hem of his shirt and try to tug it off of his head but Jason stops you, shooting up immediately. Your high immediately vanishes seeing the look of panic spread over his feature. Jason’s head comes back, still spinning but down in panic and his chest heaves. What’s he supposed to do?

“I-I’m sorry.” You shake your head, leaning up on your elbows. “I-, uh, I thought…well…I…I should have asked--”

“No.” Jason shakes his head, looking down then back to you. “It’s not…that.” Jason nearly chokes on his own words.

“What’s wrong, Jay?” Your brows tug together and even though you're the one half-naked, he’s the one feeling exposed.

Jason’s teeth grind together and he didn’t really think this far ahead. His mind was clouded with the thought of you and the desire to just have one more fucking night. His mind was clouded with the idea of chasing the feeling you shared just a few months ago. He didn’t think about this step. This part of the whole sex thing. You don’t care. You never care about scars but it hurts him.

Jason clears his throat as he brings his hands back to your hips, watching your chest quickly rise and fall with every breath. He's running through everything he could say. How is he supposed to tell you he has a thick, protruding scar from his collarbones all the way down his abdomen? That can't possibly be some sort of turn on and if anything, he's almost certain it'll send you into a spiral because it nearly does to him every damn day he looks at it. What's he supposed to say? What's he supposed to say without making you feel worse or feel like you need to push to make sure he's okay?

What's he supposed to say in order to keep this moment intact without it being just another moment tainted by painful memories?

“We can just keep doing this. Um…I-I don’t mind…if you don’t.” You try to pull in a breath. The guilt chews at your stomach. “I, uh, I don’t—“

“Y/n.” Jason cuts you off, not wanting you to spiral. “It's not that, I fucking swear.” Jason squeezes your hips and his brows twitch up with reassurance. He's just not sure if he's ready to reveal that part to you. It makes him feel guilty. He's supposed to be able to share everything with you but the shame eats at him. “I want to.” He clarifies, earning a nod from you. “It’s just…” His eyes go distant for a second before coming back to yours. “Stays on.”

You offer him a large nod and you thought it was odd he turned around before to change. Jason has never been very modest about anything ever. He has worked very hard for his chest and abs and he doesn’t mind showing off a bit, especially in front of you because he’s still a shithead. But, last night he didn’t and sitting here now, you're putting the pieces together while a piece of your heart breaks for him.

“I, uh…I know.” You nod softly, pushing yourself up to sit up fully.

Jason sits on his knees, his knees on either side of your legs.

You can't know.

“What?” Jason’s brows tug together.

“The night Crane kidnapped you, you, uh, you couldn’t get out of your gear so I had to help you.” You offer him a soft shrug. “So, uh…I just want you to know that I already know. It’s completely fine, I get it, but I wanted you to know that I already knew.”

Jason can feel his throat wanting to close and his world feels like it's closing in on him. It feels like a nightmare. He doesn't want you to know. It's embarrassing.

“You saw it?!” Jason’s voice cracks as his cheeks burn a vibrant red as he bites his own tongue to try and hide and his shame.

You nod again. “Yeah. You, uh, you were really high and I figured it would not be something you would want brought up.”

Jason shakes his head looking down. He feels tainted, ruined, a mess of broken and damaged pieces piled on the floor to be discarded and forgotten about. He's not even sure what's worse. The fact you knew and then never said anything or the fact he didn't even get a chance to make peace with it before he told you. He hates it so fucking much and it just makes him feel like the biggest failure there is. What more proof does anyone really need? He failed at being Robin, failed at taking down the Joker, failed at being a good son, failed at being a good boyfriend, he even failed at staying dead. It's just embarrassing and shameful.

You can see the gears in his head working overtime. He's going to spiral and the scar doesn't mean shit to you. Your entire back is riddled with them. Any one of those could have caused massive bleeding and killed you. The way you see it, his scars were better because most of them were just part of the job. He got them putting himself in danger for the greater good.

"I don't care, ya know?" You state with the raise of your brows and all Jason does is shake his head. "I don't fucking care about it, Jay. I know you do. Whatever the fuck you're thinking about it, you're wrong." You rest a hand on his cheek. "You don't have to take your shirt off around me if you don't want to. I get it."

"I fucking hate it." Jason states, taking your hand in his, his fingers delicate over your skin. He uses both hands to rub circles into your palm, massaging the muscles.

"For what it's worth," You let out a breath. "I don't. I don't care and I don't mind. That shit doesn't matter to me, Jay."

"I know." Jason nods his head because he knows you don't. It's something in his own head. It's just really difficult to move on from.

"So, whatever you wanna do, I don't mind." You offer him a tender smile.

Jason lets out a breath. “Thank you.” Jason says back. “Did you know? That Bruce had it done?”

“Yeah.” You pull in a breath, biting back your bitterness for Bruce. “He didn’t say why though I was screaming at him when I found out so he didn’t have much chance, I guess.”

Jason lets out a quiet but sad chuckle because even in death, you will fight tooth and nail for him. “You were screaming at him for it?”

“Well, yeah, I thought it was pointless. I figure it’s just legal reasons, maybe.” You shrug. “But I didn’t wanna hear it then.” You chuckle softly. “So, yeah, I uh, I knew he did and I knew the Pit didn’t take it away.”

It's something he's going to need to find a way to make terms with but at least, you're understanding about it. He wishes he had the opportunity to tell you himself but...he's thinking maybe this was easier. You've known and never batted an eye or said a word about it. Maybe he doesn't have to feel all that shame and embarrassment around you.

“White hair, kept all of my scars, and got the one my chest.” Jason lets out a scoff.

“Least it fixed your face.” You quip back with a cheeky smile in hopes it'll help cheer him up a bit.

You see the flash of something kind and cheeky cross over his face.

Jason drops your hand, leaning in. “What’s wrong with my face, huh?” The corner of his mouth perks into a grin and you always have a way to make him feel better about anything and everything.

Your name might as well be synonymous with catharsis.

“Did you want a list?” You raise with a smirk as you tilt your head to the right.

Jason lets out a laugh. “Fuck you.” Jason shakes his head at you and his eyes go to your lips before traveling back up to your eyes.

“Say please.” You lean in closer to him, brushing your nose against his.

Jason shakes his head, bursting at the seams with a devilish grin. His hand comes up to your cheek before he kisses you, pushing the both of you down to the bed.

“Please.” Jason nearly growls into your mouth.

Jason leans up and tugs his shirt off quickly before coming right back to your lips. Your hands tangle in his hair and give the strands a light tug. You push on his shoulder, signaling for him to roll over. You get on top before you trail down and press kisses to his cheek and then to his neck, leaving your second mark of the night.

The words ‘i love you’ bounce around Jason’s head like a pinball in a pinball machine. He’s so in love with you he thinks he might have lost all of his sanity. He did not know it was possible to feel so strongly for another person but he does. And he wants to live here forever. You make him better and he is so certain of that if not for everything that has happened but the reason that Jason doesn’t want to self-sabotage with you. It’s not worth it. You’ll fight and make up and it’ll have been for nothing. All it would do is hurt the both of you and haven’t you both been hurt enough?

You can feel Jason's hardening bulge beneath you. Without breaking the kiss, you slide your fingers into the waistband of his pants, helping him tug them down. Jason sits up, helping you get the rest of his clothes off before he flips the two of you so you're back on your back. You let out a laugh just as you always did and Jason thinks he'd never grow tired of it.

Your hands are in his hair and he can feel you smiling against his lips despite the haste of your kiss. Jason slides his hand under your back, undoing your bra before he helps you get off. His hand goes right to your right breast, pinching your nipple between his thumb and finger. You moan into his mouth as your head starts to go fuzzy all over again. You squirm under him and a grin comes to Jason's lips.

You snake your hand to his cock, wrapping your fingers around the shaft before you start pumping him slowly. Jason's mouth opens against you as his hips stutter for just a second. You start moving your arm faster and Jason's mouth trails back down to your neck. His teeth graze the skin and you think you'd let him mark every part of your body without ever putting a thought into it.

He sucks a mark into your neck.

And then another.

And another leading down the scar on your shoulder from the bullet wound.

He stops there, switching to a kiss and your stomach twists while your brain starts to turn to goo. He presses kisses back up to your lips and you're squirming under his touch as you can feel yourself growing wetter by the second. 

"Condom." You mutter against his lips before removing your hand from his cock, precum leaking from the tip.

Jason wastes no time in reaching for his nightstand to tug out a condom. You're already stripping the rest of your clothes by the time Jason has the package in his hand. 

Jason smirks down at you. "Not wasting any time, huh?"

You shrug, almost taunting him as you keep your eyes locked on his, careful not to look down at the scar. "Been a while."

Jason chuckles as heat runs over his neck. "Having withdrawal?"

"I could just do it myself." You quip back.

"Can I watch?" Jason questions and a part of you thinks he's serious.

You roll your eyes. "Maybe next time."

Jason has to clear his throat as his cock twitches with the remark. "Hold you to it." Jason mutters as he finally gets the wrapper open.

"Then I get to watch you."

Jason's eyes flash over to you as his stomach drops and spins. "Whatever you want, princess." Jason finally gets the condom on and you pull him back down to you.

His lips connect with yours, hot and fast at first, hungry as if he hasn't eaten in a month. His cock is lined up with your soaking pussy but the kiss slows and deepens. Jason's hand trails down your right thigh, delicate fingers running over your skin as goosebumps erupt over your body. You run a hand down his shoulder and to his arm, his bicep twitches under your touch.

Jason is warm and sturdy, an unwavering force that you find yourself so intertwined with, you really aren't sure how you've managed to live so much of your life without him. It always feels like he's meant to be around you like someone out there made him just for you and you were made just for him. In some ways, that's scary and feels like a big responsibility, but in others, it's comforting. It's the reassurance that it's just you and him in the end of it all. You'll get there one day. That's how it's supposed to be.

Jason pulls away, resting his forehead against yours before he starts sliding his cock into your aching pussy. The pit in your stomach grows as you start to see stars. Jason's eyes are shut and he's thinking he's left this whole plane of existence. He sinks into you slow and steady until he bottoms out.

His eyes open, locking on yours. Your fingers are lightly running up his arm and the words of 'i love you' almost spill from his lips like an overflowing cup of water. His nose brushes yours and he almost says it. He doesn't want to scare you away with piling too much on you at once. Last night and the scar tonight, he knows you're worried the Titans.

He'll tell you later.

Instead, Jason settles for something with the same meaning.

Your eyes close and the words of 'i love you' almost escape your lips like an easy breath. You brush your nose with his and you almost say it. Jason has been through a lot. You don't want to add to it, not right now. You don't want to add more pressure if he can't say it back yet. You don't want to scare him off.

You'll tell him later.

Instead, you settle for something with the same meaning.

"You and me." Jason whispers to you as he goes to kiss your cheek.

A tender smile pulls at your lips as your heart stutters in your chest. "You and me."

A smile rips through Jason's lips as his heart feels like it's just burst through his ribcage.

Jason pulls out and pushes back in, just as slow this time before he starts picking up the pace. Your mind starts swimming with his quick movements. His mouth is on yours again and you can barely keep up. Your mind is flooded with how full he's making you as your pussy clenches around him.

You try to form words, anything to tell him to keep going but nothing can form quite right, giving Jason the ego boost he doesn't exactly need. He gets the idea and doesn't lighten up. His hand grips your thigh, tugging your leg up near his hip. With the new angle, he's tapping the patch of nerves inside of you. You gasp against him, your nails digging into his back.

"J-Jay." You nearly whine into his mouth and Jason nearly finishes right there with the first word you're able to get out being his name.

"Hmm?" He hums, trying to hold his composure. "Gotta speak up, babe." Jason teases.

"H-harder." You get out.

Jason grins wickedly against your lips, doing as you asked but only for a few thrusts before he stops entirely. "Like that?"

Your eyes shoot open, pupils blow with desperation and lust. "Please."

You don't have to ask again.

Jason thrusts his hips harder and faster than before. You groan louder below him almost immediately. Your pussy is clenching around him more and more and he can tell you're getting close. He slides a hand between you, rubbing tight circles around your clit. You nearly scream with the new sensation.

You grip his hair and pull his neck closer to you just as Jason gets you to reach your high. You let out a mixed whine and moan of his name before you bite down where his shoulder meets his neck, desperately trying not to scream. Tears prick your eyes as your stomach tightens and your whole body shakes and twitches beneath Jason.

It takes everything in him not to lose himself until you're finally finished, panting below him. His hips stall against you as his head hangs in the cook of your neck, his cock twitching as he shoots his load into the condom.

Jason leans up, chest heaving and he places a kiss to your cheek and then your forehead before he rolls off of you to dispose of the condom in his bathroom.

You sit up, wrapping the blanket around you with your chest still heaving and you give Jason a tender smile as he walks back towards the bed. He grabs his clothes as you watch him and you're getting your first full view of the scar. It doesn't bother you but you understand why it bothers him. Seeing it in full, it's a harsh scar, not something that looks like it'll even fade. You think if it were you, it'd bother you, too.

Jason makes his way back to the bed, plopping back down before he leans against the pillow. His eyes are still lustblown as he gives you a soft and tired smile, and you think his eyes are filled with something you became so accustomed to. Your hand goes to his hair, brushing the white streaks away from his face. Jason’s hand grabs your hand before bringing your palm to his lips and he presses tender kisses over your hand.

“For the record,” You start as Jsaon places your hand back down. “I don’t care what scars you come home with.” You say so easily and your word choice doesn’t go unnoticed by Jason. “I know you do but I don’t…” You pause, chewing the inside of your cheek. “Just as long as you come home.” You nod a few times as your brows pinch together.

Jason sits up, his face coming just a few inches from yours. “I’m sorry I didn’t.” His voice is rough and this is a different apology than the one you got on the roof. The one you got at his safe house. There are no stakes in the apology.

“It’s not your fault.” You place a hand on his cheek and Jason leans into it. "I forgive you anyway, though."

He still wonders how you were ever able to bear it. Despite his general feeling of self-doubt and self-loathing, he knows your feelings have always been very real for him. You didn’t cope, that he knows for certain and he’s not entirely sure if you ever will. It’s something you have to make peace with just as much as he does. And he thinks about how maybe that’s an important part of you both moving forward. You forgive him for some reason but Jason doesn’t think you've accepted it yet. A part of him has, it happened to him and he’s alive. He went through it. One second, your world is moving at a steady pace and the next it’s halted, suddenly stopped with no warning and then it’s thrown in the other direction. It sounds more like whiplash. So, Jason wonders if you’ll ever hit the acceptance stage. He wonders how you were ever able to bear any of it. He knows for certain if it were him, he’d never be able to.

Your eyes are soft and tired and there’s the tiniest, adoring smile on your lips. A look Jason is privileged enough to be the only one to receive. And he thinks about he’d never be able to bear the loss of you. It rips him to shreds. It would take all of the remaining good parts of him and shatter them. He’d never recover if something happened to you. Even if it's beyond his control. It’s terrifying feeling that way about another person.

Jason nods against you before he presses a kiss to the palm of your hand. “Yeah…” He lets out a breath. “Thanks for sticking around.”

“Thanks for letting me.” You smile softly. "You and me?"

Jason offers the same smile back. "You and me." Jason confirms. “You still gonna talk to Leslie?” Jason asks as you pull your hand away.

You nod softly. “Yeah. If she has anything open.”

Jason gives you a soft smile. “Good.” He nods softly. He sits back up all the way, looking to his doorway. “Gonna grab your clothes.” Jason chuckles softly, tossing his shirt over his head before he gets up.

You watch Jason disappear through the doorway and you're quick to grab his pillow, checking to see if he’s replaced the knife with a gun. Your chest warms with the sight of your blue switchblade still locked and lying under his pillow. It’s a relief he hasn’t put the gun back. Your thoughts are jolted as fabric hits your face.

“Hey!” You yell through a laugh, your clothes falling into your lap.

“Fucking nosey ass.” Jason nods his head at you, making his way back to the bed with his hoodie in hand.

“You’re an interesting person to be nosey about.” You shrug as you get the blanket off of your shoulders. You can feel the tiredness weighing on your bones and you know if you don't head home soon, you'll end up staying here. As much as you really want to, you do not want to overstay your welcome. “Well,” You sigh as you tug your shirt over your head. “I should probably head home.” You laugh softly, seeing the orange light of sunrise seeping through Jason’s window.

“Guess so.” Jason nearly pouts at the thought. He never wants you to leave but he doesn't want you to feel obligated to always stay just because you're here late. You'll be back here later anyway. “Still gonna help me today?” Jason’s eyes are hopeful and big.

“Of course.” You laugh softly, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks. “I’ll just sleep for a few hours and how about we like one?” You ask. “We’ll both be out of it if we don’t get some sleep.”

“Yeah, yeah, alright.” Jason says in agreement. “Want an escort home?” He asks but you can tell by the way he raises of his brows and the way he's already moving to get up, it's not really an offer. He's going to do it anyway.

“Thank you.” You stand up, putting the rest of your clothes on. "Just get some sleep when you get back, okay?"

Jason nods with a grin. "Of course. Gotta be well-rested hanging out with you."

"I can not help you." You quip as you grab your bag.

"Sorry." Jason lets out a chuckle.

"Let's just go." Your eyes widen at him to tease him before Jason gestures towards the door for you to lead the way.

prev. chapter

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[chaepink]

Behind closed doors | sub!iida tenya

wc: 620+ words | masterlist

dom!fem!reader, pegging, degradation, mean!reader, mommy kink, praising, rough sex, crying, riding, sucking on iida's man tits <3

note : this header doesnt fit the others I use but whatever it was the best I could find

3RD time posting cause the tags didn't work

"Hey bitch face. Out to scold me again for being improper?" Lida sneers as he turns around to greet you. He was used to hearing your voice now, for better or worse.

"I always do that anyways yet you never listen." You smirk at his furrowed eyebrows and the frown on his face. It's so easy to rile him up and you rather enjoy it.

Although the hallways are crowded, nobody pays attention to you two. They're all used to it already. The fights, the arguments, and the death stares and insults you two throw at each other daily in the hallways. Some even joke that there's some obvious sexual tension between you two. But it's not like Mr. Perfect and you would ever fuck right?

"M-mommy please!" Multiple begs and pleas escape the boy's mouth as you watch him crumble on top of you. He's been bouncing on your strap like a good boy for a while now but hasn't stopped for one second. His hair is all messed up from your hands grabbing and pulling it and his glasses are no where to be seen. "Please please please please-"

"Not yet baby, you've been a brat today, haven't you? Even insulted my hero costume," you tsk. "I thought you liked it?"

You see tears well up in his eyes as he struggles to form words. "I'm s-sorry mommy! I didn't mean it! I swear!" You watch as his strong legs go up and down and as his ass swallows up the plastic dick easily, almost as if it was greedy for more and more. You grab onto his thighs and pull him closer to you, making Lida fuck the toy at a whole new angle. He lets out a girlish squeal from the sudden pleasure as his eyes roll back to his skull.

"Ah! Mommy that feels- ah! So good..."

"Yeah baby? Feels good being fucked on mommy's cock, right? Being such a good cockslut for me. I like it better when you behave."

He nods dumbly at you. The praises mixed with the degradation are overwhelming his mind. His thighs are hurting from the constant jumping and his cock is hurting from not being able to cum. Though he's not going to disobey you by stopping and cumming without permission! He's a good boy for you! He swears!

"How about you thank me? Go ahead and prove that you're thankful that mommy is fucking you so good."

"T-Thank you mommy- ah! f-for fucking me!" A grin spreads across your face. There he was, your good boy. No longer is the brat from before there anymore.

Noticing his hard nipples are being left out, you latch onto one of them, earning a mewl from the boy. You suck it and bite it harshly before letting go and doing the same to the other nipple. Leaning back, you admire your work. Red bite marks circle both nipples and they look like they're not going to go away soon.

You grab your phone from the nearby table and immediately take a few pictures of him, not forgetting to include his fucked out face and hard cock in it. He just looked too good, how could you resist?

You look at the pictures and laugh, making the poor boy whimper from embarrassment. While some pictures are blurry because he's jumping up and down, you surprisingly get a few that look really good.

"Oh my god you look fucked dumb, baby! Wish I could show everyone but you're mine, yeah? Can't have anyone else seeing you like this, only me." He whines at your possessiveness as you put away your phone and grab his hips with a bruising grip.

"O-only you, mommy.."

ty for reading to the end! ❤ - chaepink

╰┈➤ masterlist | rules

[silentglassbreak]

Anonymous

Noah Sebastian x OFC

I'm so sorry it took me a little longer to update. I've got a gnarly head cold, but I'm in bed, and hoping to get the next part started after this one is posted. We’re getting to the meat of the story here now folks. There’s lots of fluffy cheesy fluff in this chapter, because it’s going to get real heavy later. Remember to let me know if you want to be tagged! 🖤

Warnings: Alcohol abuse, overall abuse, mild violence (ie. bar fights), smut, swearing, and altogether just a lot of fuckery. ++ chapter warning for consensual choking***

+It goes without saying. This is a work of fiction. My words are mine. Plagiarism is a crime.

Part 7 — Concrete Jungle

The days were passing slower than molasses. I found myself working overtime nearly every day to give me something to do outside of being at home, AA, or waiting for Noah to call. Being a hermit was much easier when the only person I had to look forward to seeing was my dog.

We were so close to the end of the first leg of the tour, Noah only having two shows left before he came home for nearly three months.

I dreamt of how wonderful those three months would be. We talked about it often. He swore he was coming over the day he got home from Witchita, and we weren’t leaving my house for a solid week. As unrealistic as that was, I still looked forward to it, and scheduled vacation to have that entire week off.

I was soaking in the tub, music pumping through my earbuds when the sound of a familiar ringtone sang through my ears. I smiled and tapped my phone screen, answering the call.

“Hey babe.” I sank back down into the water, inhaling the lavender scent of the epsom salts I had added.

“Hey sweetheart, how was your day?” His voice was relaxed, calm and cool.

“Not the worst. Sam wasn’t there today, so I actually didn’t hate it.”

He chuckled. “That guy’s a real dick, huh?”

I snorted. “The worst.”

“Well, if he ever makes another pass at you, just tell him your big scary boyfriend will kick his ass.”

My eyes were closed, just relaxing at the sound of his voice. “My boyfriend?”

“Is that a problem?”

“I thought I said I didn’t want anything official?”

I could hear the smirk in his voice. “Yeah, well that was before big meathead dudes were hitting on you.”

“Mm,” I pulled my arm out of the water to readjust my towel under my head. “I’ll tell him my big scary boyfriend said so.”

“What is that noise? Are you doing dishes?”

“In the tub.”

He didn’t respond, but I heard my phone’s twinkling ringtone, indicating I was getting a FaceTime call. I snickered and ignored it.

“No way. You gotta wait to see it in person.”

I heard him groan on the other end of the line. “Not fucking fair! You’re all wet and bubbly.”

“No bubbles today.”

“So I can see through the water?!”

The jingling came again and I ignored it, laughing loudly.

“Shouldn’t you be in soundcheck?”

“That ended hours ago. I’m relaxing in my room before the show.” His voice lowered. “I’m so lonely.”

“See if Nick’s around.” I said nonchalantly.

He hissed. “Babe, I’m in a mood here, help me out.”

I giggled. “Say please.”

“You know I don’t fucking ask.” His tone was deadly now. I shivered at the sound, spreading my thighs a little.

“Fine, but no video. Last time I nearly dropped my phone in the tub.”

“Deal.”

It was silent for a beat. “You okay?” I looked over to the phone to make sure the call hadn’t disconnected.

“I’ll be better once I know you’re touching yourself.” My stomach dropped, a small moan leaving my mouth. His words were always so maddening, getting me hot so quickly.

I adjusted myself, spreading my thighs and letting my hands fall lazily over my slit, running my fingers gently over my sensitive spot.

“I am.”

“Good girl.” I pressed a little harder against my clit, rubbing slow circles around it. “Now, tell me how bad you miss my cock. How bad do you miss me, baby.”

I moaned louder now, bringing my left hand up to pinch my nipples. My undulations on my core increasing speed by the second.

“Ugh I miss you so much Noah.” I let my head fall back, eyes closed, picturing him in the tub with me.

“That’s right. You miss me touching you, baby?”

My voice was just breaths. “Yes.”

“You miss me eating that sweet pussy? Making you fucking scream?” His breaths were coming quicker now.

“Yes, Noah.” I answered louder, my hips buckling slightly at the thought.

“When I get home, you going to let me fucking destroy you, baby? Fuck you until you can’t even move?”

“Oh, fuck, yes...” I was so fucking close.

“I’m going to come just fucking thinking about it baby. Always thinking about you. That pretty, tight pussy. So fucking wet.” I could hear movement on the other end, I could tell he was as close as I was.

“Noah I need you so bad. Please come home. Please come home and fuck me. I need you so so bad.”

I heard him gasp hard on the other end. “Fuck!” His voice was sharp. He came.

I wasn’t far behind, letting out a small scream.

There was no words exchanged for at least five minutes while we both worked on getting our breathing under control.

After a moment, I heard him make a sound of disapproval. “I made a mess.”

This caused me to burst out laughing, him joining me only a second later.

“Fucking hell, Noah. I can’t wait to see you.”

He sighed heavy. “I know.” I could tell he was thinking, he only got completely silent when he was.

“Fuck it, come to Witchita! Catch a flight tomorrow and you can make the show. Then you can ride home with us.” I paused myself, now toweling off while the water drained from the tub.

“Excuse me?”

“You took the week off, right? I’ll book you a ticket right now.”

“Noah, you aren’t coming home until Thursday. I can’t leave Angel that long. And I can’t bring him on the bus.”

“Can Laura watch him for a few days?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know, Noah. I’d miss two days of group.”

He huffed, obviously defeated. “Alright. I’m sorry, it was a dumb idea.”

“No, it wasn’t. I just need more time to plan something like that.”

He had to go, ending the call quickly to shower and head back down to the venue. With a promise of calling me after, we hung up.

-

I called Laura that night, telling her about Noah’s promise to keep me in bed for a week.

“I’m so fucking jealous of you.” I laughed heartily.

“You’re married!”

“I know! But you’re literally dating a rockstar, Leena. I’m jealous.”

I chewed on my thumb nail.

“He called himself my boyfriend, Laura.”

“Isn’t he?”

I flopped back on my bed. “I don’t know. It feels like it.”

“Is that so bad?”

I contemplated this. “I’m scared, Laura.” My arm covered my eyes. “You know how long it’s been.”

“I know, LeeLee.” Her childhood nickname for me brought me some comfort. “But Noah isn’t him.”

“I know he isn’t.”

“So don’t hold yourself back. Have you even told Noah about him? About any of your trauma?”

“No.”

“Maybe you should.”

I could feel hot tears brewing. “I’m scared to love him, Lo.” My childhood nickname for her.

“Babes, if you’re scared to, then I think you already do.”

Well, that’s a lot to unpack.

I sniffled hard, wiping my tears. “Ugh.” I sat up. “He also asked me to fly to Kansas tomorrow. Go to the show and ride back with them on the bus.”

“That’s cute as fuck. Are you going to? You know I’ll watch Angel.” I rolled my eyes.

“I know, but that’s insane! I would have to leave in like 12 hours.”

“…and?” I didn’t respond, which told her how I felt. “Leena, you don’t do spontaneous, fun stuff anymore. Did you already tell him no?”

“Thank you for that.” I sighed. “And yeah, told him I couldn’t miss group.”

“Abel can handle group for one week.” I stayed quiet. My mind was actually considering it. “You could surprise him!”

“What?”

“Yeah! Show up without telling him, and hold up a sign that says LH hearts NS or some shit! He’s sappy, he’d love it!”

“I can’t exactly get in without him knowing. The show is sold out.”

“Can’t you call Nick or Folio?”

With that, my brain kicked into place and the plan all formed in my head.

“Laura, I’ll drop Angel off in the morning.”

She laughed. “See, you love him!”

I hung up without another word.

I dug through my contacts and found Nick’s number. The show should have ended at least an hour ago, so I guessed they were still in the green room, shaking off the energy.

“C’mon, pick up Nick, pick up.”

“Hey!” The voice was loud, a ton of background noise. “Is everything okay? Do you need to talk to Noah!”

“No!” I yelled into the phone. “No, Nick I’m fine, but I need to talk to you privately.”

-

Having filled Nick in on my plan, he was on board from the moment I said the word ‘surprise’. He thought it was a great idea. He told me Noah had been homesick, and he was sure me coming would perk him right up.

I booked the earliest flight to Witchita that I could, leaving at 5AM. Laura cursed at me when she opened the door to bring Angel inside at 3AM. I dropped a quick kiss on his snout and promised to text Laura the moment I landed.

I then drove to LAX, running through the terminal to my gate, barely making it on the plane in time.

My adrenaline was on high, my backpack filled to the brim with clothes, random toiletries I may need, my wallet, and my phone charger. Everything else would just have to do without.

I understood now why Noah takes a panic day before traveling, because this was anxiety-inducing to do. I hated flying, so my heart raced the entire nearly eight hours.

Once I touched down, I grabbed an Uber to the hotel, the same one I knew they stayed at. I had four hours until the doors opened. I asked Nick for a regular GA ticket, no VIP. I needed to be the first one there so I was in the very front. He needed to see me.

Checked into my room, I slipped in a quick shower to wash the flight off of me, shivering when I got out. I stared down at my bag and realized what I had forgotten.

“Oh shit!”

I picked up my phone and dialed Nick. He answered on the first ring.

“Hey, you here yet?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m in my room. Dude! I have nothing to make a sign out of!”

“Erm…what do you need?”

I ran my hands over my forehead feverishly.

“Poster board and a big sharpie?”

He was quiet for a moment. “Okay, give me 15, let me see what I can find. Text me your room number.”

He hung up and I quickly slipped my clothes on.

My phone rang, Noah’s face flashing.

“Hey you.” I even sounded suspicious, what the fuck? I’m so bad at this.

“Hey gorgeous, you alright?”

My blood ran cold. “Yeah, why?”

“Oh, just because you went to bed early last night and then said you were busy all day. I haven’t heard much from you.”

I laughed, relieved. “Oh yeah, just hung out with Laura all day. I just got home.”

“Ah, okay. I can’t talk long, I’ve got to get ready soon. But I just wanted to check in.”

“Oh, sure! I miss you.” I sat down on the bed.

“I miss you too, baby. Only a couple more days.”

I gritted my teeth. “Yup. Home stretch.”

We said our goodbyes and as I clicked ‘End’, there was a knock at the door.

Nick stood on the other side, 5-pack of poster boards and 3-pack of giant markers in his hands. He was sweating and absolutely out of breath.

“Hi…Leena…” he said in between breaths. “I ran to the corner store and got these. I hope they work.”

I took the items from him, taking note of the color of the posters.

“Neon green?” He nodded, putting his hands on his knees.

“Yeah. Trust me. He can see it way better on stage.”

I smiled brightly. “This is perfect, Nick. Thank you!”

He smiled back. “Anytime. Now look, we take a break between Death of Peace of Mind and Just Pretend where Noah talks to the crowd and gives his little monologue. It gives him time to get his voice ready for the song.”

I listened intently.

“That’s when you hold it up. He’ll have them turn on the lights so he can look at the crowd, and that’s when you hold it up.”

“But what if he sees me before then? Won’t it be obvious if I’m in the front?”

He shook his head. “Don’t let him bullshit you. When the lights are down, we can’t see shit up there.”

-

I was the second person in line, behind a red-headed girl who looked positively irritated. She was dressed in full Bad Omens merch, reminding me that I should have worn the shirt he gave me. Instead, I wore a black tank top, black jeans, and combat boots.

When the doors opened, I walked up to the rail in front of the stage, my sign tightly wrapped in my hands, and turned my back. I didn’t want to risk him seeing me from the back.

I pulled my phone out and shot him a quick message.

Me: Have a great show tonight, babe!

His response was quick.

Noah: Yep, last one till I’m home with you.

Noah: Call you after.

The show was so long, by the time the guys actually made it on stage, I was wiped. ERRA and Invent Animate had put on great sets, but I was here for Bad Omens.

When I heard the opening chords to Death of Peace of Mind, I felt my heart jump into my throat. I sunk low by the railing, listening to Noah’s enchanting voice sing the melody.

“You come and go in waves. Leaving me in your wake.”

I swallowed hard.

“You come and go in waves. Swallowing everything.”

The guitars and drums pounded out the last verse of the song, leaving the venue dark when the lights went out.

I began unraveling the sign, questioning my entire life. This was so corny. Is this how I really wanted to do this? Make such a strong confession to him? In a fucking sign? Like a prom-posal?!

My gut twisted. I couldn’t do this. But I had to. I came all this way. Nick nearly gave himself an asthma attack getting the supplies.

And there was my guy, sauntering around the stage, monologuing, right on schedule.

He would turn the lights up any second. It’s now or never.

I lifted the sign as high as my 5’1 frame would allow, closing my eyes to the rest of the world, internally cringing at how ridiculous this was.

“Woah, we got a sign over here!” His voice was boisterous. And he saw me, or my sign, rather, as I was hiding my face behind it.

I heard him walk toward where I stood.

“Let’s see what it says.” I peeked around the side for only a second, seeing he was bent over, squinting to read the sign.

“‘I love you Noah S’, awe, thank you, that’s so sweet.” He hadn’t walked away though. “What does that say underneath?”

He was quiet for a second. He was reading my name. ‘Leena R.’

The room fell silent, or for me it did. I heard nothing but the shuffling of the microphone being put on the stand. I lowered the sign to see what was happening just as he fixed his mic on the stage.

“Give me just a second, guys.”

The crowd screamed, and he jogged over to the area of the stage directly above where I stood. With no warning, he jumped down, causing the security guard to scramble over to him. He was unfazed, walking straight up to the railing in front of me.

His eyes were wide, a giant grin nearly breaking his cheekbones.

I was sheepishly smiling back, trying hard to maintain my composure.

“You love me?” I almost couldn’t hear him over the crowd. I just nodded wildly, moisture prickling behind my eyes.

Before anything else could happen, he reached up and hooked my neck, pulling me toward the railing and crashing his lips on mine.

All I felt was vibrations, likely from the crowd exploding. His lips tasted like mint and sweat, his gloved hand rough against the back of my neck.

When he pulled away, he pressed his forehead to mine for a second.

“I fucking love you, Leena.”

-

I was still shaking, my hands tucked firmly in my jean pockets while the security guard walked me to the green room as instructed by Noah.

I could hear the concert continue, only two songs left. Noah had jumped back onstage and continued as if nothing had happened, able to breeze right past it like the professional he is.

“Okay, you can wait in here. They’ll be back here once they finish up.” I smiled at the security guard and walked past him into the room.

“Hey,” I turned to look at him. “that was a ballsy move out there. Good for you.”

I blushed hard, looking anywhere but at him. “Yeah? It felt kind of insane.”

He laughed. “It was fucking psychotic.” This wasn’t helping. “But to be honest, I never see shit like that happen. It was cool as fuck.”

He left before I could say anything else.

It wasn’t long before Folio burst through the door, obviously still hyper from the performance. Jolly and Nick followed, already chatting.

“I swear to you my rig was out of tune, dude! It kept giving me sour notes during Limits, and then Dethrone was a fucking mess.” Nick’s eyes scanned the room and found me sitting on the couch, waiting patiently. “Leena!”

I jumped up. “Hey!”

“Perfect fucking execution dude! Exactly how I pictured it.”

“Yeah? How embarrassing was it? Be honest.”

Jolly laughed, pulling his long hair back into a low ponytail. “Oh, it was adorable. I loved it.”

“It was fucking cringe, dude!” Folio’s voice called from the table that had snacks on it. He looked over, open water bottle in his hand. “It was rad as fuck!”

I relaxed my shoulders.

Noah came skipping into the room after a moment, pulling the gloves off of his hands.

“Hey!” He bound up to me, his arms coming to grab me by the hips, pulling me down to another kiss.

“I thought you couldn’t make it!”

I smirked. “I changed my mind.”

“So you didn’t spend the entire day with Laura, I gather?”

I shook my head. “Nope. I spent the day traveling.”

He had disbelief on his face. “How did you pull it off?”

“Called Nick. Booked a flight. Easy stuff.”

“I risked my life for that sign, by the way!” Nick hollered from the couch.

“Is that why you ran out of the room earlier?”

Nick just nodded in response. “I came through. Pulled the wool over your eyes.”

Noah lifted his brows at me, his expression was unreadable.

“You both are insufferable, you know that?”

-

I had brought my things to Noah’s room, not much need for my own. My legs were feeling heavy, so the walk off the elevator and down the hallway with him was my time to find the strength. Noah was a very…active…individual, and I assumed that he was going to be looking for some time together.

When we entered the room, he walked past me, immediately pulling his shirt off and sitting in the bed. Rather than looking at me with his usual hunger, his eyes looked exhausted when they met mine.

It occurred to me, Noah had been on tour for a couple of months. He was playing shows nearly every night while traveling, sometimes without even time to sleep in a hotel room. He needed rest.

“Noah?” He only tipped his chin up in response. “I think I know what you need.”

He raised his brow, the playful expression shadowing his face. “Yeah, and what’s that?”

“A shower.” It took him a second to process, but once he did, his shoulders relaxed forward and he huffed out an amused sigh.

“Yep, you’re right about that.” He ran his hand over the back of his neck.

I stepped over to him, putting my arms around his shoulders and pulling him in close. He pressed the side of his face into my chest in a comforting gesture, wrapping his own arms around my waist.

“Then, you need some sleep. Nick said we leave at 6AM.”

I could only feel him nod. I pulled back so he could look up at me.

“Why don’t we pick up on the fun stuff when we get home? And just work on recovering for now?”

I felt his body go slack.

“Oh thank God.” I shook with laughter. “I’m so fucking tired, Leena. I didn’t want to disappoint you, though.”

“You want to know a secret?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m fucking dead, dude. I’m so tired I could fall asleep standing up.”

He laughed into my chest, caging me in just a little tighter.

“Didn’t you sleep on the plane?”

“No, I uh…I’m not a great flyer.”

“Me neither, why do you think we still take a tour bus?” His voice was muffled by my shirt and he sighed heavily.

“You, mister, go get in a hot shower. Scrub off all that sweat. I will order us some food, and get a movie on.”

He groaned approvingly. “Today is the best day ever.”

He sounded small, which tugged on my heart. “I’m glad I came.”

“Me too.”

-

After a solid five hours of sleep, a morning shower (that may have included some touching), and a third cup of coffee, Noah and I were standing at the hotel check-in desk turning in his room key, and my completely useless one as well. We had fallen asleep not twenty-minutes into the horror movie I had put on after devouring a pizza. We fell asleep spooning, but he eventually rolled onto his back, and I woke up half-laying on him, sweat covering both of us.

Noah was always so chipper in the mornings, which was painful for me, as I was a creature of the night. Even after all of the caffeine, I was still wearing sweatpants, one of Noah's sweatshirts, no bra, flip-flops, and my sunglasses. My hair was hanging loose over my shoulders, not brushed out after the shower. I looked absolutely dreadful.

Still, he held my hand as we walked out to the bus, and helped my backpack off of me and let me on first. The bus was about what I expected, large, loungers lining both sides, a table near a somewhat kitchenette with a refrigerator and table. In the 'hallway' area were the bunks, a bathroom that was smaller than the one on the airplane, and in the very back was a couch with two large televisions, a couple of various gaming consoles, and some cabinets that Noah showed me were filled with snacks.

I had set myself up on one of the lounge couches while the rest of the guys loaded onto the bus. I was waving to each of them lazily as they stepped on, dropping things off in their respective bunks. Folio laid on the lounger across from me, immediately letting his eyes fall closed. I felt my own lids get heavy.

"Are we ready? Ron says we aren't stopping for at least six hours." Jolly called from the front of the bus. He received several yelps of approval in the back from Noah and Nick, who were putting their things away in the back cabinets. No response from the now comatose Folio, and just a thumbs up from me.

As the bus began to move, the vibrations had me lulled, pulling me closer to falling back asleep as my eyes watched the sun slowly rising from the window. An arm reached over me, pulling a shade closed and blocking the light, which was lovely.

I heard Noah's voice above me, so I angled my head to look up. "Going to take a nap, love?" The word made me turn my lips up tiredly.

"Mm, it's not even a nap. It's just going back to bed."

He laughed, shaking his head. "You want to lay in my bunk? The pillows smell like me." He winked, making me roll my eyes playfully.

"I'm too claustrophobic for those things." I sunk down into the cushions. "Besides, I'm so comfy."

He walked to the back, returning only a moment later with a large green blanket that was plush and warm, flinging it over me.

He bent down and placed a soft kiss on my lips. "Get some sleep. I'm going to go kick the shit out of Nick at Warzone."

"Fuck you, dude! I'm going to wipe the fucking floor with you." Nick's voice carried through the bus.

Noah was only gone for a moment before my eyes slipped closed and the movement from the bus had me in a nice, deep slumber.

The drive back home was long. Longer than I had exactly anticipated. It was now about 11PM, and Noah and I were snuggled on the couch in the back, watching through The Conjuring 2, under the same blanket I had napped under earlier. I was going to sleep back here tonight, and I had this pulling feeling that Noah was too.

I was laying sideways, pressed against his side and chest as he laid flat, legs crossed and spread long on the couch. He had one arm wrapped around me, and the other folded under his head.

I wasn't so much watching the movie, having seen it many times, but I was mostly studying him. My fingers traced the tattoos on his shirtless chest, taking note of freckles that were barely visible between the lines of ink.

After a while, I glanced up at him, seeing his eyes beginning to flutter closed. I reached my face up, and pressed a kiss to his jaw, catching his attention. His arm tightened around me, and he breathed heavy.

"I'm fighting for my life to stay awake here." His voice was deep and thick, sleepy.

I smiled. "Why not go to bed, babe? This couch is a little small for two of us."

"Cause you're wide awake, and I'm not going to leave you alone."

"I'm a big girl, Noah. I can put on something to watch and lay here until I get drowsy"

He just shook his head and cleared his throat. "I'll be okay."

I shrugged and began sitting up, needing to stretch. He followed suit.

His eyes watched me as I lifted my arms over my head, my crop top pulling and exposing the underside of my breasts. I saw his tongue slide over his bottom lip.

I quirked an eyebrow. "Can I help you?"

He smirked, reaching out to press his palm into my side, making me shiver. His hands were freezing.

"Actually..." He pulled, nearly causing me to topple into his lap.

I let out a squeal, clapping a hand over my mouth. Jolly and Nick were passed out, their snores carrying through the bus. Folio was in his bunk, watching something on his tablet with headphones in. Noah had closed the door to the back of the bus when we first came back here, but I didn't want to be a nuisance, and wake everyone.

He quietly laughed, pulling my legs on either side of him, bringing my face down to his with a hand in my hair.

Our mouths connected softly, his hands coming to rest on my sides.

I pulled back slightly, my eyes glancing over at the door.

"It's locked."

I raised my brows at him, hands resting on his shoulders. "Yeah? Had ideas of how this night was going to go?"

I tried to keep my face even, but I was struggling not to crack a smile.

"I'm not as tired tonight." His voice was low, serious.

He pressed his lips to mine again, steady but not eager. We had time. We were only halfway back to LA, most everyone was asleep, and, most importantly, we were in love.

This moment together just felt different. There was a barrier that had been up, completely fallen now, leaving us bare to each other and vulnerable.

Slowly, he lifted my shirt over my head, drinking in the sight in front of him. His mouth came down on my chest, teeth leaving soft bites as he worked toward my left nipple slowly, painfully. His lips locked onto my nipple, and my head fell back. His hands pulled my hips down, only the fabrics of our sweats between us. The hard bulge ground against my core, making me moan softly.

We stayed this way for a long time, writhing together, his mouth moving from my nipples to my neck, to my mouth. I tugged on his shirt, pulling it over his head. For a second, I stood off of him, and intentionally pulled my pants down as slowly as possible, causing him to groan.

Once I had kicked them off, I reached down and grabbed onto his, only pulling them down enough to let his erection free. I then regained my spot straddling him, sliding myself over him, our mouths hot on each other. When I felt the head of his cock bump my entrance, we both froze for a second. His eyes latched onto me.

We both stared for longer than a moment, trying to decide what we do here. I wasn't on birth control. I knew I was clean. I trusted him to tell me if he wasn't. As stupid as it was, it didn't bother me. Nothing bothered me here. Nothing.

I sunk down, letting him slide into me, and I watched as his mouth fell open, eyes wide. This wasn't just us having sex on the back of a tour bus where someone could hear or see. This was more. This was something else entirely.

I felt every inch of him, all the way to the hilt, and my eyes fluttered closed, my bottom lip caught in my teeth. I was adjusting to the size, having only felt it the one time before, months ago.

"Look at me." His voice was nothing more than a breath.

I opened my eyes, staring at him, tears stinging the corners of my eyes. I couldn't say if it was from the slight pain of the penetration, or the sheer emotion I had for Noah.

His hands held me in place by my sides, keeping me from moving an inch.

"I love you, Leena."

A tear spilled down my face, and I sucked in a hard breath.

"I love you, Noah. So fucking much."

I felt his fingers release me ever so gently, and I bucked my hips, causing the most delicious friction that pulled a moan out of both of us. Again, I clapped a hand over my mouth to keep myself from giving us away, and began a slow rhythm of bouncing up and down, each thrust pushing me toward a finish line I so desperately wanted.

He leaned his head back against the cabinet, his breathing so heavy I thought his chest might burst.

"Jesus Christ, baby. Don't fucking stop." He was too loud, he would have the entire bus knowing what we were doing.

I reached my hand up to cover his mouth too, but he snatched my wrist in his hand, reaching up and grabbing the other from over my mouth. He held both wrists in one hand, and pinned them between us, not letting me free while his hips bucked, pressing him deeper and deeper each time I landed on top of him.

He leaned his head in to whisper in my ear. "Stay quiet baby, wouldn't want anyone to know."

Small squeaks escaped with nearly every thrust, my eyes beginning to roll back. I grit my teeth to keep the sound from escaping.

"That's it. Good job, baby." His eyes were half-masked when he spoke, one hand gripping my wrists in a deadly tight grasp, the other lifting my hips for leverage. "You're trying so hard to keep quiet. So good, princess."

His words were giving me a familiar tingling sensation in my belly, my climax coming closer the more he spoke.

"Look so fucking pretty when you ride my cock. Missed that tight pussy so much."

I let a small whine out and his body stilled instantly. My eyes snapped open, and he narrowed his eyes at me. The irises were black, his expression was serious.

"What did I say? You need to keep quiet."

My eyes widened, but my head nodded frantically. The lack of friction was becoming painful.

"I'm sorry."

He released my wrists, my hands falling lifelessly to my side. Both of his hands snaked up my chest, reaching my shoulders. His right hand reached up, wrapping his fingers gently around my throat and slowly adding pressure until I felt my windpipe compressing ever so slightly.

The sensation was sickeningly delicious and my legs naturally jerked in an attempt to gain sensation.

"You will do as I say, is that understood?" I nodded. He reached a hand around me and grabbed a fist full of skin from my ass, pulling me forward. His hand tightened on my throat.

"Now, ask nicely for me to fuck you."

I gasped, his hand loosening to let air through.

"Please, Noah. Please...fuck me."

His hand released my neck, coming down to grab my ass and began bucking up into me violently. I fell forward against him. His arms then wrapped around my chest as I felt the coil in my body pull tighter and tighter. I pulled back to look him in the eyes, his expression wild.

I leaned down and bit into his neck hard, causing a strangled sound to come from his throat as I felt him slow his thrusts. I used the opportunity to grind myself harder against him, the contact pushing me over the edge, my orgasm tearing out of me.

I rode down onto him hard, slowing with each thrust, until we were both panting against each other.

"Are you okay?" He breathed out after a moment, having calmed to nearly normal.

I only nodded in response.

"I've never done...that before." His voice was entirely different now, sounding nearly nervous.

"What?" I expected him to be referring to the choking. It wasn't my first time, but any other time had been pretty dissatisfying, to say the least.

"Having sex...without a condom."

I pulled back to look at him, my brows raised in disbelief.

"Really?"

He was chewing on his lip. "I trust you. I just..." He trailed off, his mind clearly racing. "I'm clean, I swear I am."

I only chuckled at this, rolling off of him and snatching my pants off of the floor. He pulled his up as well.

"I am, too. However," I slipped my shirt over my head. "I'm not on the pill, so we'll need to grab a Plan B when we get back to civilization."

His eyes widened. "I didn't even fucking think of that."

I stood up, stretching. "Luckily for you, I did."

We turned the movie off, as we had missed most of it already anyway. We sat facing each other, cross-legged on the couch, eating snacks out of our respective bags; I had Cheez-Its and he had Reese's Pieces.

"Are you from LA, originally?"

I shook my head. "No, I was born in Washington, but only lived there until I was about five. When my mom died, my Dad moved us to LA. Him and Mom lives there before I was born, and she was buried in East Los Angeles. He said it only made sense.”

"What does he do?" He popped a candy into his mouth.

"He's has a wood-working business. Builds furniture and does art pieces. He doesn't do much of the actual labor stuff anymore, at his age, but he still loves to carve. He has six stores in LA County, two in San Bernardino, and one up in Alameda."

Noah looked thoroughly impressed. "Fucking nice!"

"Yeah, he's my best friend. Best Dad ever." I smiled thinking about my Dad. I would be calling him the moment I got home to update him on my trip.

I looked up at Noah, my turn to ask questions.

"Why go to an AA group in Orange County when you live all the way in Calabasas?"

He twirled a candy in his fingers, shrugging. "Well, when I google searched AA meetings, I didn't want to risk anyone seeing me, so I didn't want to be too close by. I also didn't want to travel too far so I wouldn't have an excuse not to go. Then I narrowed it down to meeting not associated with any churches or religious groups. That's how I found yours."

"What made you decide it was time for AA?"

He was looking down into his bag, and I saw the expression on his face change. I had hit a nerve somewhere, but I wasn't sure where.

"It's like I said before, I had some downtime and figured it was time."

"I don't believe that."

His head snapped up to look at me. "What?"

"Well, maybe in general that's true, but there's usually something. One thing that leads you to AA. It's rare when you just wake up one day, realize you have a problem, and then walk into a meeting."

His eyes narrowed. "Well, that's what happened to me."

He didn't want to keep talking about this, I could tell, but something was there that he wasn't saying. I elected to let it go. I'm no longer his sponsor, maybe I'm not entitled to that information anymore.

Maybe.

[fanficfish]

some random hetalia thoughts about the countries

mostly headcanons and character studies i guess. probably canon but who knows i'm too sleepy to go check. i'm gonna ramble and maybe it'll maek sense i don't know. Someoen tag me if they get anything idea worthy out of this.

link the inspired post: https://www.reddit.com/r/hetalia/comments/1eqt7ek/after_all_these_years_im_gonna_say_it_i_did_not/

I've seen a little talk about how England leaving America on his own for so long messed him up a little (thank you reddit user who go that talk going). So i wanted to think about some of Englands' other colonies and stuff i guess?

so like we have America. I still stand he's probably like, Jamestown or something and over time he became the main US rep, like how the UK has the four brothers (five? Six with Sealand) but England represents them at meetings. Or Japan reps all of Japan instead of like a couple dozen prefectures showing up. That kind of thing. And like that guy's a little messed up. In earlier parts ofhis story, he's shown to just be really explorative, stil strong tho, but mostly jsut a nice sweet kid who happens to have three teenagers fighting over him. Seriously couldn't they share? Oh wait it's hetalia no they can't XD

anyways, it's only wlater once America is firmly under British rule that he starts growing the yelling and loudness. I think that's like the sign hhat he wants a little attention f rom England- like, he's shown to just be a guy when it's Canada when they're kids but england gets the "SHOVE FOOD IN MY PIEHOLE" treatment. And I think that's just because England keeps leaving and coming back but sometimes he just ignores the kids and does his own thing for a long time. Canada ends up letting America take the lead for them. And then later on once all is said and done America revels in his big parties and whatnot because the attention is on him, and it won't heal the hrut of England just leaving all the time but it sorta helps. (Canada doesn't count they're basically joined at the hip it's not the same).

and if you compare it to like the Italies for example. Austria was still there to watch over Italy North even though he really went for the uh. Less optimal route. But he was till there, in his own way. Prussia definitely wasn't going to leave HRE and later Germany alone unless he absolutely had to. Spain didn't jsut go gallivanting around when Romano was there (no comment onhis other former colonies). Ofc you could make an argument for Iceland, but by the time Norway took over he'd been alone mostly for 300 years, and even if Norway and Denmark didn't exactly visit all the time because i headcanon Iceland stayed happily on his island 90% of the time like Aland and Faroe Islands to avoid the drama called "four nordics pretending they could get along under one roof when they definitely are not good rooommate compatable", I doubt he was entirely without parental guidance. Norway could always sense him (so themoment anything bighappened Norway would be marching right over), and Iceland mentions sending letters out. I'm jsut gonna guess he sent the letters via Mr. Puffin, and I'd guess Mr. Puffin could always deliver some words if needed from overseas. Iceland also apparantly has fairies at his house so there's that too. Not thet he'd admit it.

But if you notice, it's def circumstance that gives some character which is cool when we're talkign about stereotype-based characters. Ameriica becomes loud and "ignores" the room when he's given the stage, because if he outrages everyone then he'll get attention. Italy N.. had everythig taken care of for him and has few worries, and a pretty good work ethic since Austria isn't a slacker. Roomano is a spoiled brat. Iceland....honestly boy just needs to accept the others rubbed off on him and he's just as kooky as the rest of them. I know you're a teen and all but kid c'mon you love them mystical animals and you keep bringing up your weird museums XD (I swear this child got Norway's anti-socialness, Sweden's inability to admit things (in his case, he actually likes hanging out with the others), Finland's oddness, and Denmark's everythign else because we all know Norway probably saw Iceland at last and had a crisis over it, man knows when Iceland appears but can't get around to taking the ruling for how many years????

And then there's New Zeeland, who had to raise Austrailia when NZ was also pretty young. NZ doesn't even have the hope of hep fro manyone- America and Canada i'm pretty sure still had visitors from like France and I think the Netherlands would have popped by a few times, because they did do a bit of um. Trading. with the colonies and stuff. Austrialia used to be on the other hand where they sent English prisoners. New Zealand is not ready for that kind of craziness, and so of course we're gonna get a free range crazy Austrailia and a done with it New Zealand who got no help and probabl ygot even less parental support then America. BTW it's crazy that technically GB still techncialy rules over so many big places like Canada and Austrailia even though they also technicall ydon't like that's just so wild.

so what have we learend from this? England sucks as a dad, and Iceland's teen rebel phase is in full swing. WHat was the poitn of this? I don't know but you read it and i wrote it so.....

ima sleep i forgot the poitn already lol

[heyo-428]

So I said i’m a comment on a post I would share my Rafal playlist with you all and I want to preface this by saying some of these songs are based off my own interpretations of his character or personal headcanons.

Tagging the sge prequel fans bc obvi

@liketwoswansinbalance @thescarlettshrimpernel @harmonyverendez @discjude @rosellemoon

The songs with reasons are all below the cut!

MAJOR SPOILERS!!!

Look What You Made Me Do - Taylor Swift

- Do i need to explain?

Mastermind - Taylor Swift

- “No one wanted to play with me as a little kid

So I've been scheming like a criminal ever since

To make them love me and make it seem effortless

This is the first time I've felt the need to confess

And I swear

I'm only cryptic and Machiavellian 'cause I care”

THATS THE MOST RAFAL THING EVER

Also the last line, reminds me of the scene where he’s talking to the students and getting them to hell him fight against Rhian he says something like “if i’ve gone to far it was to protect everyone”

Sign of the Times - Harry Styles

- Idk reminds me of his death

- And “we never learn we’ve been here before” makes me think of the fact he got stabbed by the Storian in Rise and Fall and the symbolism it holds.

Mercy - Shawn Mendes

- “I’m prepared to sacrifice my life” is when he jumped in front of Rhian in Rise

Bad Habit - Steve Lacy

- “I wish I knew you wanted me”

Idk it’s giving James X Rafal yk

People I Don’t Like

- Fits his personality lmao

Murders - Miracle Musicsl

- “All for nothing at all” IS HIM DYING IN FALL LIKE “oh i did all that for rhian and got nothing in return”

Gilded Lily - Cults

- Same as above “Haven’t I given enough?”

- Also, “Always the fool with the strongest heart”

Christmas Kids - Roar

“You’ll change your, and change your mind, and leave this fucked up place behind, but I’ll know I’ll know.” Rhian killing and taking his identity and Rafal being the only who knows :(((

Heather - Conan Gray

- Another James X Rafal one but “But you like her better, I wish I was Heather,” BUT MAKE IT KYMA BECAUSE APPARENTLY JAMES AND KYMA ARE A THING? (Where did Soman find that one? Up his ass?)

Another Love - Tom Odell

- Him not being able to show sympathy for anyone else really because he’s wasted all his time and energy on Rhian

If I Killed Someone for You - Alec Benjamin

- Since Rafal had changed who he was for Rhian to be good I thought this was fitting since the point of the song is “I killed a part of myself for you, am I enough now?”

Many more Taylor Swift songs but I didn’t want my playlist to be a ton of Taylor Swift. I can’t think of some off the top of my head right now.

[silver-dragonborn]

I saw some hotd spoilers on TikTok and while I would normally feel ashamed for watching them, this show is such a fucking dumpster fire that I simply do not care anymore. With that being said, here are my thoughts. Out of respect, I will not post commentary in my tags.

-) Aemond telling Helaena to saddle up only for her to tell him to kindly fucking fuck off and coldly predict his future where he will die alone.

"B-but Helaena loves her brother!"

Correction. Loved. She loved Aemond until he killed Lucerys which set off a chain of events that got her own son killed in retaliation. I'm sorry, but if my asshole brother told me to fight for him after his decisions led to the gruesome death of one of my babies, I would spit in his face for the audacity.

"Will you burn me as you did Aegon?"

"That is a lie."

"I saw it."

Helaena was done playing around. No riddles. No musings. She was grieving and angry and lashing out at the jackass responsible. Helaena refuses to fight a losing battle and plus, she no longer trusts Aemond so why the fuck would she ride beside an emotional time bomb with a geriatric dragon that refuses to listen to him?

-) "It's all a story and you're but one part in it. You know your part." Gave me chills. Phia was SERVING in this episode and knowing what I know about Helaena and her ending, I'm praying we'll see more of her. Daemon's final vision in Harrenhal bore some fruit as I got to see a haunting glimpse of Daenerys and her dragons...Night King looked like a leathery Halloween costume from a general store...not my cup of tea.

-) Aemond throwing a hissyfit and putting his disgusting hands on Helaena to force her to burn Harrenhal with him was nothing new to me. You've seen how he treats members of his family...Helaena and Alicent are no different. Also, imagine being raised for YEARS to hate your sister and being trained to fight her only for your mom, the one responsible for your upbringing, deciding to throw in the towel and sue for peace. Yeah, I don't blame Aemond for feeling betrayed by Alicent who RAISED HIM TO HATE HIS SISTER.

-) That scene with Alicent and Rhaenyra...I'm sorry, but that was total bullshit and out of character. The fact that Rhaenyra was written out to be the disgruntled spouse listening to her wife's apologies was ridiculous. Rhaenicents will count this as a win, but to me, it's poorly written-fanfiction. Even when Alicent was "apologizing" and "baring her soul" to Rhaenyra she still justified her bullshit (go figure). Now, NOW, after humiliating Rhaenyra at her wedding, allowing a murderer to walk free, plotting against her, and TORTURING HER FOR YEARS, SHE WANTS TO RUN AWAY FROM IT ALL?? Lady, you sealed your family's fate the moment you wore that green dress. Alicent wants to flee from the problems that SHE created and I was fucking GOBSMACKED that she practically betrays her "favorite son" in favor of opening up the city to Rhaenyra without bloodshed. Kudos to Rhaenyra for sticking to her guns to cut off Aegon's head. I know anti-Rhaenyra stans will screech that this is proof she was always going to kill him and refuse to believe that Rhaenyra, having lost a son and a daughter, wants vengeance for her dead children...honestly, what do y'all expect??

-) I half-expected Aemond to fly over to Dragonstone, bend the knee to his sister, and hug it out. Y'know...like in every fix-it fanfic ever where Rhaenyra forgives those usurping murderous cunts and strives to be a better sister because it's all her fault that her siblings are SAD and not pure, sweet Alicent's fault for turning them against her in the first place.

-) We finally see Sheepstealer, but no scene of Rhaena claiming him and flying in the skies. Seriously, what the fuck? We get a pointless scene of Alicent treating with Rhaenyra on Dragonstone, but nothing for Rhaena? I swear, the writers add in these pointless scenes to avoid anything to do with the twins. No, we just see her staring bug-eyed at Sheepstealer while Hugh gets extra screen time with Vermithor.

-) I'd say the only scenes that stood out to me were Daemon bending the knee to Rhaenyra, Helaena's predictions, and Team Black gearing up for war.

-) Anyway, this episode was insane and not in a good way. The Rhaenicent agenda and the constant need to portray Alicent as this misunderstood angel who just wants her best friend back are dragging this show through the mud.

[deluxewhump]

About your latest tags!!!!

I swear to God, one of my biggest pet peeves/curiosities about post apocalyptic stories was always how people dealt with periods.

Like, you're out there fighting for food, and shelter, and wearing the same outfit for weeks on end, and I'm supposed to assume you have the equipment to deal with periods? Or that no one gets periods anymore?!

There was a single book I found once that I didn't actually read, but in the first chapter the main girl is raiding a store for supplies and she actually grabs some pads along with food and water, I was astonished!

Yes lol I always think of that too when I’m reading/watching something like that, or the show Alone where they’re in the wilderness (alone) for 60-100 days. I don’t know why it would be impolite to mention, because it’s very mentionable on ads and the like now, they don’t have to use vague euphemisms. The way to go in the post apocalyptic situation would be a menstrual cup, IF they had access to boiling water. If not, they might end up going the way of our ancestors, and good luck with that 😩

[separatist-apologist]

I once went to one of their inbox to tell them to please stop tagging elucien if their posts is just about bashing elriel and they basically told me to f*ck off and they can "do what they want" or whatever. I swear, these are the same little sh*ts that would complain about Elriels tagging elucien.

It's the fact that it's always the same 5 people that have literally no hobbies but complain about Elriels. They're lurking in the gwynriel tag too. They're covering the sweet content we're looking for with their bullshit posts.

"Look what these Elriels say-" NO I DON'T WANNA LOOK CAUSE I DON'T CARE! WHY ARE YOU STALKING THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE???

I don't want to see the hurtful stuff they say about Lucien and Elucien, nor do I care about their theories and Interpretation. I blocked the elriel tag and some elriels so that I won't have to see their posts. Heck, I'm avoiding acotar content on Tik tok and Twitter just so I won't see anything elriel and anti elucien related. If I wanted to see anti elriel content, I'd go to the anti elriel tag. It's that simple.

The thing is, I also tried to be more open to the Elriel ship. I'm very confident in Elucien, but should Elriel be endgame then I want to be okay with it. However, these little shits that constantly shove statements from toxic elriels to my face make it very difficult for me. It brings me back to "Elriels are so toxic" thoughts.

Sry for the long rant. It just angers me.

Babe, I once told people to stop taking the bait and they told me to get off my high horse so I feel you on that. Is it getting on a high horse to say that not everything on the internet is made in good faith and by answering obvious trolls...you give them the fight they want? Wow you sure showed them.

But at its core, LB said it best. It's not a bipartisan system and you actually can't tell anything about a person based on the ship they like. If some folks had any self awareness they'd realize they are literally no better than the people they claim to hate and for every one person hyping them up, 8 others feel discouraged and burned out from all the negativity. A fandom can't sustain itself on pure spite- you need people who passionately love the series enough to draw art, write fic, create headcanons etc etc, and to that end you have to let go of the utter boring obsession with what is and is not canon.

I took screenshots of that post, and one person said "the author wrote it that way for a reason???" and to that I'd say, she wrote enough to make elriel a very popular ship, too. Are we picking and choosing? Are we saying you're not allowed to ship something if it isn't canon? No more Neris, no Rhysta, no Casslain, no Azris? And who gets to decide what is and is not canon? Someone on that post was discussing what "true" eluciens are, which excludes me along with a vast swath of other people.

I didn't elect any of these people to decide what I was allowed to write about or commission art for- Like the cherry picking so people can be faux outraged and then take screenshots of one of the most popular artists in the fandom, with a VERY distinct style to create a victim narrative that allows them to feel good about bullying is just overdone and boring at this point.

Anyway, I'll always advocate for blocking people and creating spaces that feel good. And I'll continue saying that if you hate something that much, you should stop engaging with it. No one is ever going to change my mind about elucien, I'm confident in my choices and even if SJM doesn't go that direction, I'll still be writing elucien like idgaf. The constant looking each other up to talk shit reeks of insecurity and boredom. Couldn't be me.

[irrlicht-writes]

it was going so well. God, it was going so well. Why didn't I stop?

THERE WAS EVEN FALSETTOS!!!😭 THEY WERE SO CUTE WHEN DOING THAT, I SWEAR I WAS SO HAPPY 😭😭😭

but then again, when I read the warnings, I saw the last 'liar' and almost immediately knew what was about to happen. I don't know why, but redfall was still a shock, though. I read the 'incest' warning and was like 'uh?- what' and then redfall showed up and I was like 'fuck this can't be good' and by that moment I completely forgot about the incest tag. Then the chapter ended, and I stared at my phone for ten minutes straight.

this is the part you let us see in one of your posts!!! I remember when you said it was approaching 70k, aaaaaa when I read it I was giggling like a little girl.

I didn't know what would come next.

Alastor was right. He always is, unfortunately. At least they got a night together??? well, Alastor had been roofied, but... I guess that's the most comfort you're willing to let us get. And that's alright! I love angst, I feel like a feral animal every time you upload cause I know there will be a ton.

that would've been a perfect ending. But knowing that there's something more, something else that was bound to happen, AAAAAH I can't live without having closure, and a promise it's not enough.

it's never enough.

Delusional, OF COURSE HE'S DELUSIONAL!

By this point I completely forgot about the warnings. Poor me. Foolish me.

aaaaaaand this was where I was the most shocked. I didn't expect to see Redfall ever again, I thought he was like DEAD or something. surely Vox will be by his side, won't he? He loves Alastor too much to not act...

...oh

I wonder when Vox got together with him. I wonder if redfall talked to him already by that point. I hope we will get to see his Pov, but like you replied to me sometime ago, when scribbles was just getting started, some things are better left unknown.

He promises to kick him out, and the most heartbreaking part is that Alastor believes him. He never believes him, he always calls him a liar, but the one time he starts doing so, he is reminded that he isn't living a fairytale. He's in hell, and people lie, they always do.

Maybe that's his punishment. Maybe he's bound to always be let down once he starts believing someone.

some chapters ago you wrote "Alastor wanted to tell Vox things he had never told anyone. He wanted to tell him about Redfall" or something along those lines.

This broke my heart.

(But hey, that's not at all a bad thing!!! I love angst and my heart, even if it's already in pieces, can still be ran over by a car, get soaked in acid or maybe i will be the poor sinner that gets her heart carved out and esten by Alastor, it can still go through a lot of things really!)

then there were the break downs, Alastor looking for constant reassurance with his wedding band, I was hoping Vox would eventually ask him about Red, but then he saw them kiss. (I didn't take screenshots because I was so pissed at Vox but at the same time so hooked by your writing that I forgot lol)

I wonder what went through Vox's head. I wonder what he thought. But I know it, don't I? it was the same exact thing he thought when fucking Elliot was still around. He must've thought 'oh well I can't have what I want, so I'll screw his father. nothing can go wrong, can it? surely I proposed to him, but hey, I'm a filthy man, and my NEEEEDS need to be fulfilled!!!'. I know he was thinking about Alastor the entire time, but oh, wasn't there a more hidden place to do it?

The worst thing about it is that he didn't even look for Alastor when Redfall arrived. He was there, and then what? They started going at it the second Alastor wasn't looking?

It was only Vox who looked for him after the fight with Adam, only him who cared for Alastor. But that was when he needed him the most, and he wasn't there.

None of the hotel residents looked for him after he went to his room.

Not even Vox.

He knew about Redfall. He knew what a mess Alastor had been. He knew what Redfall could do to him, even if not to the full extent. And still, he was the person he decided to get with.

'He has Alastor's genes.' he must've thought. 'I know him.', 'We've been friends before.'

That's still unjustifiable.

At least I hope it was Redfall starting it. No, I know he was. Vox wouldn't seek him out, would he? yes, he is a man with 'needs', but he wouldn't deliberately seek out HIS FATHER to fulfil them. yeah. it's definitely that. (Yes, I am very delusional, thank you)

At this point, I think Alastor will feel worse in the relationship. No matter if one day they'll be happy, what's done is done. Vox can't undo it. He can't. I'll be so mad if they stay together.

I hope Vox finds out. I hope he finds out what a monster he's been, and I hope he feels like shit. I don't want him near Alastor ever again.

Then there was the sex. How had Vox not noticed? How had he not wondered what could've possibly brought him Alastor to give himself if just the night before he stopped him when he tried pleasuring him? It's heartbreaking. (Remember, that is a GOOD thing, I loathe for hurt/no comfort). Alastor tried doing that before. He tried giving himself to Vox, but then Vod had the decency to stop himself when he sensed something was wrong. Then, though, Alastor hadn't said yes. Now that Vox had his consent, why would he stop to check on him? it's not like Alastor's body wasn't enjoying it. And Alastor truly is a good actor. He was disgusted and grossed out, but how could Vox tell?

He's just a filthy man.

Alastor is the girl in their relationship, isn't he? That's what he always believed, and hey, who cares about the girls, right? They just need to be put in pretty dresses. They need to let the manly man tear the clothing off and let him do whatever he wants. They need to let him break them, use them, and throw them away.

Who cares about the girls?

Vox cares about Alastor, but when he's the girl of the relationship, he almost forgets he does.

Liar.

Liar.

Then there's the next day. I really don't know how Alastor held it all together.

No, wait, I do.

The fear of being alone is far greater than anything Vox could do to him, isn't it? The fear that Vox would abandon him for someone else. The fear that the wedding ring is just another empty promise.

Their relationship is shit. Complete and utter shit. They both need to work on themselves before they get married. IF they get married, because I truly hope they don't. I don't want Alastor to be with him, I don't want him to be trapped in a relationship with someone who, yeah, cares about him, but would still choose to treat him that way.

BTW I love your writing!!! I binged the whole series multiple times, it always makes me cry when I see Alastor's side of things.

Remember, though, that the angst is never enough. Just like love is never enough in your story :)❤️

love your works, dear author, and I hope we will see more of them in the future!❤️

(this took me an hour to write, istg I could spend so much more time discussing your story, it's so great I love it so much I hope you know how much I get excited whenever an update comes out, there are no words to describe how i feel every time i read it)

-💗

Okay now that some time has passed let me answer you! :)

Yes, Falsettos! I hadn't seen the musical before, and my friend showed me this song because of the "What I love I devour" line! And Christian Borle too! I'll never watch the whole musical though bc sob Whizzer

Haha, yeah when *I*, of all people, tell you "here's a good stopping point" then maybe there's a point to that :) Yk the chapter was going to be much worse but then it was so long I cut that part out... it still happens ofc but we don't see it :) Most of the angst I read is way too tame for me... I need it to hurt so I have to provide it myself ugh

We will get Vox's POV! I was way too tired/depressed last week to write anything, but next part is from Vox's perspective, so we'll know what happened! (My note for getting Redfall to stay was literally this: "why does he get to stay?? idk old friendship maybe?? let's see when we get there") And I still firmly believe in "some things are best left unknown"! It leaves more room open for interpretation. Even though now everyone is yelling at me for Vox's ooc behaviour...

Don't worry, Vox will realise what he's done :) Everyone will be so very thrilled! A heart-wrenching end, even! It's all quite dramatic.

Mhm, yes, the sex was terrible, wasn't it? Took me forever to write, too, because I don't do sex scenes. I've only done them in, like, three instances overall.

I'm glad their relationship is terrible! I've only ever done ones that were (to an extent) good for each other, so it's nice I can get the oposite done too!

And dw, there will be more! I've got the Human AU left to finish up, and then Part 4 too! And I had made some notes on other things but they're iced for the moment (for obvious reasons) My DMs and asks are always open, so feel free to come talk anytime 👉👈

[trans-queen-administrator]

oh i have been tagged in a thing. ty @yugonostalgia2019. time to overshare

3 ships: Hmmmm ok I gotta list Taylor x Lisa, their dynamic makes me go absolutely feral without fail. Honestly I don't even need them as a ship I just love how horrible and amazing they are for each other. I am limiting myself to one Worm ship here, despite how much it pains me, but I shall provide brief descriptions for the other ships for the people who don't know the non-worm stuff here. Marina x Pearl from Splatoon are so damn cute and I adore them. Nepotism baby punk soundcloud rapper x runaway genius former child soldier military engineer is honestly just 10/10, and they're just so good! I swear to god if the DLC doesn't have a 20 minute cutscene of lesbian cephalopod kissing I'll riot. Splatoon is my biggest fandom besides Worm which is kind of hilarious to me considering the sharp difference in tone. Third ship... hmmm, The Doctor x River Song. I just think it's genuinely such a sweet concept and wonderfully executed, two time travelers who are in love but keep meeting each other in the wrong order so their experiences and knowledge of the other don't match up is tragic and great and I nearly cried at their final episode. Honestly just been a River Song fan forever too, she's eternally my transition goals.

First ever ship: Ohhhhh gosh this one is lame. Back when I was a wee lass in middle school browsing FF.net endlessly, my main fandoms were Pokemon and Super Smash Bros. I flat out didn't realize that you could ship anything except a man and a woman because like, no one told me, and I kinda was just not a fan of romance because I thought it was always forced in stories (I was right about that tho). But then I read a Smash Bros fanfic that had Lucina and Palutena shipped and I was just like... damn, women can kiss? That sounds so cool. Shame I can never do that. And so I read the shockingly large number of fics shipping those two because it was the only wlw ship I knew existed.

Last song: I don't actually listen to music that much. Last song is uhhh... the Monster Sanctuary PVP Theme I guess due to playing Monster Sanctuary PVP. If we're talking actual music, I think my sister forced me to listen to some Taylor Swift song recently? Idk what it was but I think the album was called 1984.

Last movie: I also don't watch movies much! Uhhhhhhhhh I think it was Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No. Might have been a different one? The Sharknado movie that ends with them crashing down to Earth inside of a shark after fighting them off from a satellite and one of the characters gives birth while coming down inside the shark and the baby cuts its way out with a chainsaw before the mom gets crushed by falling debris. Sorry for spoiling, I know everyone was really looking forward to watching Sharknado 3.

Currently reading: Making my way through the Snapshots series of Splatoon fics which are so fucking good. For published stories though, Sir Gawain and the Green Knight for a class. Thinking about rereading Worm and posting about it but I gotta beat the Lakesbian copy allegations.

Currently watching: I'm don't really watch anything when I'm on my own, I prefer to read in almost all situations. When I go home though, I watch One Piece with my sister because it is nice to spend time with her and she's very passionate about the show.

Currently consuming: Nerds Gummy Clusters. I regret every bite but I bought this shitty bag of candy so I gotta finish it. Fuck these are terrible.

Currently craving: Mini Chewy Sweettarts. They're my favorite candy and I have a massive sweet tooth so I've been craving them, but I swear every single damn store in a mile radius stopped stocking them and is now selling "Sweettart gummies" or "Sweettart chewy fusions" or "Sweettart ropes" or "Sweettart rope bites" and that is not what I desire! Where is my delicious mouth hurting candy ;-;

[wumblr]

tagged by @lilietsblog (hi! thanks)

last song: i listened to court and spark by joni mitchell and wind in the wires by patrick wolf in my car yesterday. i was going to ask "what happened to him" (i know what happened) but apparently he's releasing new music this year for the first time in a decade. i listened to tidal by fiona apple for a couple days before that (i'm running out of cds in my car because my sister hasn't shipped out a box of cds that i left at her house yet, so i have to savor the ones i have). i also streamed haircuts for men when evil reigns, 1.8.7. quality rolls, and kelly lee owens lp8, and i'm still working my way through my 2022 new releases post

last show/currently watching: probably solos. that was underrated, i'm still thinking about the anne hathaway and uzo aduba episodes. i feel like i've watched something since then (it was like in october) but i can't remember. prey was good, in the same way that all AVP movies are kind of good and a little bit cheesy, it feels like the characters are always pasted on top of one or two bits of lore they needed to get across to keep the series going (i like amber midthunder, they didn't really give her much to work with in legion but prey shows what she's capable of as an actor. fight choreography was impressive. somebody should cast her in some serious oscar-bait or an a24)

currently reading: structure of scientific revolutions by thomas kuhn. i've also been reading this for like months but i swear i'll finish it sometime. i finished age of surveillance capital by shoshana zuboff before that, which i suppose is obvious since my post of the pdf is still doing numbers, and i'm reading sabine hossenfelder's second book, existential physics, next (i'm excited to read the penrose interview)

current obsession: um. i could say several things but i'm going to say drum samples. i've been trying to build up a collection that i sampled myself. i should do this on vinyl but if we're being real i'm going to yt2mp3 most of them, maybe in low quality on purpose. i want to get a dirtywave m8 or build a tr808 on a breadboard (that doesn't do sampling but i think breadboard 808 drums would sound different than samples of it, or it opens the door for circuit bending, which i know nothing about) but i probably have to move again before i can really dig into that. i should figure out how to get my mimu glove to interact with my tenorion before i move onto the next thing. that's marginally sample-related because i have to interface them using ableton so i might as well use the tenorion as a midi controller at the same time. the hihats on joni mitchell "help me" are really good but they're unsampleable (no part of the song has isolated drums)

tagging people always feels like, weirdly aggressive on tumblr (even though i like being tagged), so if you want to do this and say i tagged you go ahead, otherwise i'll specifically mention... snarp reptilemodernism arealcrow swankyangles twocubes and cryptotheism. but you have to be online and see this post in order to see the non-tag. sorry. lol

[jasntodds]

Petrichor Chapter 10 Teaser - Full Chapter coming 09/27

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader (little bit of fwb) Teaser Words: 2,049 Chapter Warnings: Swearing, angst, canon character death, canon drug use, drug use, blood, bruises, injuries, look the anti-fear drug turns perfectly innocent people into raging murderers and makes them do things they would never do and that's all I'm gonna say for that one, canon violence, violence Summary: ❝Pylades: I’ll take care of you. Orestes: It’s rotten work. Pylades: Not to me. Not if it’s you.❞ Gotham is home, not just for Jason but for you, too. And now that you’re both finally back home, together, you’re ready to see where this next chapter brings the two of you. He’s your best friend and you’re his. And you both might want a little something more with being back home, the place you both feel most comfortable. Surely, nothing could possibly go wrong now. A/N: My life blew up last week so I've done nothing besides rewatch CSI so here's a teaser lol You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary  and turn on notifications if you prefer that!! I love feedback, I swear it keeps me posting on a weekly basis 😭

Jason, on the other hand, he knows you. He knows you want to meet up to check on him, yes. You’ll always want to check on him after any sort of fight with anyone. It’s what you do. But, he also knows you're going to have questions about him attacking Dick and the other Titans. You tipped him off, sure, but maybe you didn’t think he was going to actually attack them. He knows you're going to question him about it, probably lecture him. He doesn’t want to listen to it. He can’t listen to it. A part of him will want to break if he does and he knows it. He knows he will if he goes there clean. So, he doesn’t. He hits the inhaler and pockets it before heading to the alley.

Jason gets there first, hiding in the shadows until you show up. You're on your bike, completely suited up. You don’t want anyone seeing you with him. Not the real you. Red Hood is pissing off a lot of people and you already have enough shit you're dealing with. The last thing you want is a target painted on your civilian self for being seen with him.

You dismount the bike, popping the helmet on the handlebar as you look around. Jason walks out from the shadows, wearing the suit and the helmet. Of course, he is.

“I’m fine.” Jason states. You don’t like how the helmet makes him sound.

“Yeah, well, had to see for myself.” You let out a breath as you close the rest of the distance between you.

“You don’t have to worry about me anymore.” Jason takes the helmet off and he isn’t smiling or grinning. His expression is flat and your heart starts to sink.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean, Jay?” You shake your head, Jason getting a hint of annoyance in your voice.

“I mean I’m fine.” He rolls his shoulders, his voice flat.

Your eyes are scanning over him and it's dark but you're pretty sure he doesn't have any bruises. It seems either the helmet and suit did a good job of protecting him tonight or Dick didn't get a hit in. That's at the very least a small relief but Jason Todd has never been fine. You're starting to think he doesn't actually know the definition of the word.

“Right. You have said you’re fine a hundred times and not once have you actually been fine.” You cross your arms over your chest.

Jason's teeth grit for just a split second. “Don’t fucking worry. I told you. I got this handled.” Jason holds the helmet on his hip, his stance strong and sturdy.

He’s different than he was yesterday. He was grinning and smirking because it’s him. Whenever he claims to be fine, he gives you a grin as if that’s going to melt your worry away. But, not tonight and he seems bored and defensive.

“Why are you being so…weird?” You raise a brow at him.

Jason brushes you off, thankful for the drug coursing through his system. He’d never be able to deal with this without it.

“I’m not weird.” Jason defends.

“Yeah, you are. You’re acting weird.” You argue.

You don’t get it and maybe you won’t ever. But, this is him now. He’s not acting weird because this is the new him. Red Hood, fearless. He has no worries or fears anymore, just a mission. Jason swears he’s not acting weird, you're just expecting the old him.

“This is just the new me.” He lets out this sort of chuckle that doesn’t sit well in your stomach.

“Uh-huh. Right. You seemed…kind of normal last time but now you seem…off.” Your eyes scan over his face and your heart is in your throat, the formula running through your mind.

“Just glad to be doing what Bruce couldn’t.” Jason holds his head up high with ease.

“This conversation is going fucking nowhere.” You let out a sigh as you look to the ground.

You came here with the intent to be sure he's fine. It was to get some sort of answer. A real, solid reason not to tell Dick anything. Dick is going to have so many questions when you get back tonight. All of them will be about Jason and what his new plan is now that he's alive. You need a reason to keep what you do know to yourself and Jason is giving you every reason to be worried enough to talk to Dick.

“So, go home.” Jason scoffs but he’s not even offended or upset. It’s like he doesn’t even care.

Your attention snaps back to him. “What the fuck? I’m worried about you and you don’t even care?”

It's not that he doesn’t care. The drug numbs part of that but not entirely. It can’t otherwise they wouldn’t be able to have a plan in the first place. Jason has to be able to care about the city and the people he’s trying to protect otherwise there is no plan. It’s not that he does not care, it’s that he doesn’t care to go through the arguing in circles game while you dig for information.

“What else did you want? I know you want something else.” Jason dodges the question on purpose, knowing he won’t even feel guilty about it.

A lump forms in your throat as he dodges the question. He comes back to life and is, generally, normal but now he’s not? How is that even possible?

“Dick knows you’re alive.” You swallow the lump and if he’s going to pretend like this doesn’t hurt him, fine, you’ll do the same.

“Yeah, broke my other helmet, had a backup though.” Jason looks down to the helmet on his hip and then back to you with ease, the very corners of his mouth twitching into a grin.

“Oh, I’m so glad you have a spare helmet, Jason.” You snark through a scoff. “Unbelievable.” You look down and this is not how you wanted this to go. “Why did you try to shoot him?”

“He was in the way.” Jason answers casually.

The Titans are going to get in the way and Dick is the leader. Without him, the Titans will fall apart. Crane is right about Dick. He thinks he’s better than Jason. He thinks he’s the golden child, and he always was to Bruce. Bruce couldn’t even be bothered to kill the Joker for Jason but he would have for Dick. Dick dropped him from a skyscraper. Dick got him kidnapped and tortured. This all comes back to him and Bruce. 

Your eyes nearly bulge out of your head and you're sick of the games with him right now. “Are fucking joking!?” You finally yell. This isn’t funny. Dick is his brother, he’s your friend. He could have killed him. What the fuck is wrong with him?

“Nope.” Jason gives you a grin. The drug loves confrontation.

This is not the Jason you once knew.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” You glare up at him. “He’s in your way? Well, damn Jason, maybe don’t attack the fucking Titans.” You gesture your hands out as you shrug your shoulders.

Jason’s blood starts to boil as you yell. You swore you weren’t working with them but from where he’s standing, it sure as shit seems like you are. Crane said you would. Crane said you’d start working with them the second you found out what he was doing. Maybe he was right and it’s pissing Jason off. You're supposed to be on his side.

“I thought you weren't fucking working with them.” Jason seethes. You lied. You lied to him. Of course, you're working with them. Maybe Crane was right about you, too.

But you tipped him off. 

“I’m fucking not! But I give a shit about them. In case you forgot, Dick saved my life twice. Gar is our best friend. Conner saved your life. Kory fucking tried to save our lives. I know you care about them. Why the hell would you go after them?”

“Dick treats me like shit. I’m fucking no one to him. He thinks he’s so much better than me.” Jason scoffs. “You said Rachel was his lap dog, but look at you now.” Jason laughs cruelly as he closes some of the distance between you. “You're the one screaming at me and defending him.” Jason shakes his head, looking down at you.

If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he were trying to intimidate you.

Maybe you don’t know better.

“You tried to kill him! He pisses me off sometimes, too but I don’t want him dead! I’m not his damn lap dog, either. I just don’t know what the hell is going on. And you won’t fucking tell me.” You grit your teeth, standing toe-to-toe with him.

“That’s because it’s none of your fucking business, but don’t worry, babe, you’ll see soon enough.” Jason offers this grin that you can’t tell is him taunting you or threatening you. And from here, with him nearly standing on top of you, can see his eyes better.

His pupils are dilated and your heart is suddenly in your throat. On the one hand, making a drug and selling it to innocent people is really bad and you were hoping that was not it. But, on the other hand, a part of you thinks him taking something is worse in a way. The formula screams from the back of your head and Dick's general concern about it, Jason's weird and erratic behavior before he died. Him going after the Joker. He's definitely high and you have no fucking idea how you missed that either or what even lead him here.

“Literally, are you high right now?” You question him, hoping against all odds whatever he's on will make him tell you, like an overconfidence thing. “Because the Jason I know wouldn’t be laughing and trying to kill the Titans. The Jason I know wouldn’t be being such a fucking dick to me right now.”

Jason lets out a laugh, ignoring your question because he's not playing into your hand. “So, go home.” There's a wicked look in his eyes as he looks down at you. And it hurts. “This is me, new and improved.” There's almost something threatening in the way his eyes darken to the deepest shade of evergreen you've ever seen.

“If you think this an improvement, I have news for you. The new you sucks.” You spit back.

It’s like the drug loves confrontation. It’s as if confrontation triggers something. The drug is supposed to suppress fear. That’s the point of it. But it seems to do a few other things. If confrontation starts, it’s like Jason gets an adrenaline boost but not in self-defense, instead, it’s more like skydiving. It’s actually fun, it doesn’t matter who the confrontation is with. It’s fun. Thrilling. Jason doesn’t realize that maybe that was Craen’s plan. He’s a mad scientist. Maybe the drug is meant to suppress his fear but maybe it’s meant to control other parts of him in just the right way to do his bidding. Like using confrontation as another drug. Jason doesn’t see it. He can’t see it because the drug, at the end of the day, is Crane’s creation. Because Crane is the one pulling the strings behind the curtain.

And unfortunately for you, you're kicking up the confrontation.

Jason’s smile falls as he shakes his head. There’s an anger that sparks across his eyes, something you've never directed at you. “Really? Not what you fucking said yesterday. Not what you said earlier today when you tipped me off.”

“You weren’t like this yesterday or earlier.” You argue, holding your ground.

Jason steps forward, making you take steps back until your back hits the alley wall behind you and your heart spikes. Your head isn’t throbbing but a very small part of you, is a little bit scared. This isn’t him. Jason wouldn’t try to kill Dick. Jason does not threaten you. But there's a look in his eyes and if he's willing to kill Dick and attack his friends, what's he willing to do to you?

“Go. Home.” Jason warns.

prev. chapter

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