#i thiiiiink it's okay though

[m0stlygh0st]

ooohhhh playing a dating sim was a dangerous idea

[allfoolsinluv]

Crave - Part One

Pairing: Eventual Joel Miller x f!babysitter!Reader x Tess Servopoulos; Joel Miller x Tess Servopoulos Summary: Tess and Joel throw you for a bit of a loop when you come over to babysit. Word Count: 6.7k Rating: Explicit, 18+. Minors DNI. Warnings: oh boy here we go... modern AU (no apocalypse, Sarah's alive, Tess has a son + Ellie is her niece 😌) established relationship (Joel + Tess), age gap (reader's in her 20s, Joel & Tess are in their early/mid-40s), mutual pining, teasing + flirting, kind of unresolved sexual tension, food + alcohol mentions, imagined m/f/f threesome, dirty talk up the wazoo, unprotected p-in-v, switch!Joel vibes, dom!Tess vibes, f masturbation, use of a vibrator. i thiiiiink that's everything idk, lmk if i missed anything a/n: WELCOME TO MY BRAIN this is all i have been thinking about since Joel + Tess graced our screens last month <3 big thank you to @pedrito-friskito for enabling this nastiness and for reading this over for me 💗 and for helping me give this thing a title LOL, which is taken from the new paramore song of the same name. love u bby! dividers here.

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You really shouldn’t be staring.

Tess is talking, something about new bedtimes and soccer practice in the morning. You’re half-paying attention, nodding along when appropriate, giving noncommittal yeahs and okays when you need to. But it’s so fucking hard to really focus on anything that she’s saying when she’s standing in front of you looking like that.

Her black dress hugs her body perfectly, accentuating her curves. The neckline dips just enough to tease her cleavage, and the little teardrop diamond necklace she’s wearing draws your eyes straight to it. She looks beautiful, and the only thing you can think about while you should be paying attention to her instructions for the evening, is just how badly you want to strip everything she’s wearing off of her.

“I think that’s everything,” she says, clapping her hands together. The sound pulls you from your reverie and you have to blink a few times to bring yourself back down to earth. When you meet her eyes, you find that she’s already looking at your face, a faint smirk on her lips and a slight raise to her brow. The way she’s looking at you makes your cheeks heat and you have to clear your throat before you can respond.

“Got it,” you say, your voice wavering a bit.

“Don’t be afraid to call or shoot one of us a text if you have any questions,” Tess adds. She approaches you, the sound of her heels against the kitchen tile echoing in your ears. She stops just in front of you, close enough for you to reach out and touch her if you wanted to. And oh, how you desperately wanted to. She beats you to it, though, reaching out to gently brush her hand over your shoulder and down your arm, giving your bicep a light squeeze. “Just in case, ya know?”

You freeze at the contact, your whole body going stiff. Your eyes drop to where Tess is still holding onto your arm. She squeezes you again, a bit harder this time, and you suck in a shaking breath. When you look back up at her, she’s got that same smirk on her face. It makes your heart pound and your stomach flutter. Unable to find your voice, all you can manage is a nod.

“I’m ready to go whenever you are, honey,” Joel says as he steps into the kitchen. Tess lets go of your arm and takes a step back from you, turning to look at her partner. The space between you two allows your body to relax somewhat, and you’re able to finally take in a normal breath. Your eyes flick over to Joel, and it’s like all of the air has been punched out of you again.

He looks incredible in his white button-up, black blazer, and dark-wash jeans. His dark curls are combed and slicked back, still damp from the shower. You can smell his cologne from where you’re standing, and the scent makes your mouth water.

God, you are so fucked.

Joel gives you a warm smile when he sees you. He says your name in greeting and asks, “How’ve you been? How’s school?”

You blink at him a few times while trying to force your brain back online. You’re so focused on pulling yourself together, you miss the knowing look Joel and Tess share with each other at how long it’s taking you to answer.

“Uh, good! I’ve been good, thanks,” you finally manage to respond with a nervous laugh. “School’s… alright, I guess. Keeping me busy. And stressed.”

“I’ll bet,” Joel says with a laugh. “But you’re managing it just fine, sweetheart.”

You can physically feel your knees go weak at the pet name. It takes everything in you not to collapse to the cool tile floor right then and there.

“Well, I think we better get going,” Tess says, taking a hold of Joel’s hand. “You and the kids should be all set for the evening. Remember, lights are out at ten. Everyone’s got some kind of practice early tomorrow morning. Oh, and if any of them give you trouble over that damn Switch, you can remind them that it goes in the trash if they don’t put it away when you tell them to.”

That gets you to chuckle, knowing how serious Tess is about that. There’ve been more fights between the kids over that thing in the three months since their Uncle Tommy bought it for them than there have been in the entire year you’ve been babysitting them.

“Got it,” you say with a giggle. You don’t catch the way Joel swallows at the sound or how Tess’ mouth forms a soft o.

The three of you stand in silence for a moment before Joel clears his throat and says, “Okay, then. Follow us out so you can lock up?”

You nod your head and follow them out of the kitchen and towards the front door in the living room. On the way to the door, Joel stops at the couch, bending over the side of it to place a kiss on the top of Sarah’s head.

“Bye, baby. Tess and I’ll see you later. Mind your sitter, understand?”

Sarah looks up from her book and gives her dad a smile. “I will, promise.”

“I know you will,” Joel grins. “Love you.”

“Love you, too.” Sarah looks over at Tess and gives her a wave. “Bye, Tess! Hope you guys have fun.”

“Thanks, sweetie,” Tess smiles. She turns to the stairs and calls up, “Ellie! Micah! Joel and I are leaving!”

You can hear two sets of feet scrambling around on the second floor. A door opens, and another slams shut. Ellie and Micah are bounding the stairs a second later, squabbling the whole way over who was there first.

Joel rolls his eyes at them, but Tess lets out an amused chuckle.

"Bye, mom!" Micah says as he steps on the landing, running straight to Tess. He tackles her in a big hug, the force making her wobble a little in her heels.

You find yourself reaching out to steady her at the same time Joel does. Your hand grazes his at the small of her back. Quickly, you pull your hand away, shoving both of them into the back pocket of your jeans. You pretend not to notice the way his eyes follow your movements.

Tess leans down to press a kiss on her son's head. "Bye, kid. Behave, you hear me? No arguing over that Switch."

Micah sighs but nods his head as he pulls away. "Yes, mom."

"Good," she smiles. Tess turns her attention to her niece next. "And you, missy. I don't want any trouble from you over bedtime, understand?"

All three of the kids groan at the word bedtime. Their indignation makes you giggle—it's the same song and dance every time sports season comes back around.

"Bedtime?" Ellie complains. "Really? We're not babies anymore, ya know."

"Hey now," Joel says gruffly, his eyes narrowing at the young girl. "You watch your tone with your Aunt. And you know as well as I do that if we left you kids to your own devices, you'd be up all night and miss your practices in the morning."

Ellie looks like she's about to argue, her mouth opening with a retort on her tongue, but she thinks better of it. With a sigh, she nods her head. "Fair enough, I guess."

"Fair enough," Joel huffs under his breath, a small smile creeping up on his face. Ellie laughs and swats his hand away as he reaches out to ruffle her hair. They finish saying goodbyes, and after one last threat from Tess to the kids to behave, you’re following them to the door.

“We’ll text when we’re on the way back,” Tess says as she and Joel step outside. She stops on the front porch, turning back to look at you one last time. “Thanks again, sweetheart.”

How is it possible for a nickname to get you so damn flustered? First from Joel, now from Tess. You were honestly surprised you were still standing at this point.

“Uh, yeah, of course,” you manage to stammer out. “Hope you two have a nice evening.”

“We will,” Tess winks at you. Winks. The woman fucking winks, and you can’t help the way your breath catches in your throat. “Bye now.”

You watch them as they walk out to their car. Joel holds the door open for Tess, holding her hand as she steps inside. When he closes the door, he turns and catches your eye. He watches you for a moment, a knowing smirk on his face. You can’t handle the weight of his gaze anymore, quickly closing and locking the door before he can walk around to the driver’s side.

Once the lock is clicked into place, you rest your forehead against the cool wood of the door. Sarah’s gone back to her book, her attention far and away from you. Ellie and Micah have made their way back upstairs, the faint sounds of their arguing over who gets to play on the Switch next filling the house. You know you’ll have to go deal with that, but Jesus, do you need a minute. 

You shouldn’t want them as much as you do. But you can’t help it—the way they make you feel, the things you think about doing to them, the things you think about them doing to you. They’re happy and in love, and you’re just the girl who watches their kids. They don’t want you the same way that you want them. Right?

“You shoulda seen the way she was ogling me in the kitchen before you came in,” Tess sighs, reaching over the center console to grab Joel’s hand and pull it into her lap. “I don’t think she heard a single word I said. God, the look on her face was so fuckin’ cute.”

“She looked like she was gonna melt into the goddamn floor with the way you were holdin’ her arm. What was that all about?” Joel asks, giving Tess’ hand a squeeze. He chances a look over at her, just quick enough to catch her shrug.

“Wanted to see her get flustered.”

Joel chuckles, shaking his head. “You’re a fuckin’ menace, you know that? You gotta stop teasing that poor girl.”

“I’m the one who needs to stop?” Tess scoffs. “Says the man who nearly sent her into cardiac arrest by callin’ her ‘sweetheart.’”

“Oh, please. That was nothin’ compared to the torture you were puttin’ her through.”

“I was not torturing her, Joel. You and I both know that I could put her through far worse than that.” Tess doesn’t miss the way Joel tries to subtly shift himself in the driver’s seat at her comment. She continues, “That was just a little bit of fun. You know she liked it. Bet it got her all wet, ruined her panties.”

“Jesus, Tess,” Joel groans, squeezing her hand tighter. “You can’t say shit like that to me when I’m drivin’.”

“Why?” She asks, untangling her hand from his. She reaches over the console and plants her hand on his thigh. She digs her nails into his skin over the denim, smirking at the way it makes him hiss. “Don’t you like thinking about how much the babysitter wants to fuck us? How we can make her forget her own name without even having to lay a finger on her pussy?”

As she speaks, her hand slowly moves up Joel’s leg, until she’s cupping his bulge in her palm. She gives him a rough squeeze as she asks, “Isn’t nice to be wanted just as badly as we want her?”

“You keep talkin’ like that and I’m gonna crash the fuckin’ car,” Joel says from behind gritted teeth.

Tess chuckles as she pulls her hand away. “Deny it all you want, Miller. I know you well enough by now to know you wanna fuck her just as much as I do.”

Joel doesn’t respond—can’t respond. He knows if he does, they’ll never make it to the fucking restaurant.

It’s nearly eleven when your phone buzzes with a text from Tess. Almost home, it says. 

You huff a small sigh as you start to pack up your bag. Luckily, the kids didn’t give you too much trouble over their bedtime, and they were all fast asleep within a half hour of going to lie down. After they’d gone to bed, you pulled out your laptop and barrage of different pens and notebooks to work on an essay for one of your classes. You hadn’t made much headway on it, your mind occupied elsewhere—like on Tess and Joel and what they were doing and if they were thinking about you too. 

You’ve just finished packing up the last of your pens when you hear the door unlock. The sound sends a flurry of nerves loose in your stomach. You'd practically made a fool of yourself before they left and then spent the whole night daydreaming about what it'd be like to share their bed—you don't know how you're gonna be able to face them now. Tess calls your name when she steps into the living room, prompting you to turn and face them.

They look just as good—if not better—than when they left. Tess’s hair falls in soft waves over her shoulders, no longer pinned back like it was earlier. Her lipstick has faded from her lips, only a hint of the red color there. Maybe it wore off as she drank from her wine glass at dinner. Your eyes briefly flick to Joel’s lips—maybe he kissed the color off of hers.

Joel's lost his blazer, the sleeves of his white button-up rolled up to his elbows, showing off his forearms. Your eyes follow the line of bare skin down to his hand. Fuck his hands are big. You can't stop the image that flashes across your mind, his hand around your throat while Tess lies between your legs. The imagined sight sends a small shiver down your spine. 

Joel says your name this time, the sound startling you and pulling you out of your head. You realize they've been talking to you, and you've just been standing there staring at them like an idiot. If your cheeks get any hotter, they're going to burst into flames.

"Sorry," you laugh nervously, wringing your hands together in front of you. "Um… what'd you say again?"

Tess chuckles as she glances over at Joel. He's got a small smirk on his face as he nods back in your direction. She turns to you again and replies, "I asked how everything went. Were the kids okay, they give you any trouble?"

Duh, you scold yourself. Of course they're asking about their kids that they're paying you to take care of.

"Oh! Yeah, no, they were fine," you say. "Ellie was a little resistant to bedtime, but all I had to do was hold the Switch over the trash can and she took off upstairs to her room. I checked on her about fifteen minutes after that and she was asleep."

"Little shit," Joel shakes his head with a chuckle. "Good call with the Switch and the trash, though, sweetheart. I might have to try that the next time they're screamin' their heads off over who gets to play it."

You laugh at that, rocking back and forth a bit on your heels to hide how much hearing him call you sweetheart gets to you. You need to get out of their house now.

"Well, I better get going," you say, slinging your bag over your shoulder. "I hope you two had a nice time out tonight."

"Thanks again for everything. We appreciate it," Tess says. She reaches into her bag for her wallet, pulling it out to pay you. As she's counting the cash, she asks, "How're you gettin' home? We didn't see your car out front. Someone picking you up?"

"Ah," you sigh. "My roommate dropped me off before her shift at work because my car's in the shop ‘til tomorrow afternoon. She's still working, though, so I was just gonna take an Uber home."

"Absolutely not," Tess says as she hands you the money. "You're not goin' out in an Uber this late at night by yourself. Joel will drive you home."

"No, no, it's fine," you say quickly. There is no way you would survive a car ride with Joel. "You guys just got home, I couldn't ask you to do that."

"You're not askin'," Joel says, crossing his arms over his chest. "We're offering. And it's not up for debate. I'm drivin' you home."

You know you have no room to argue with them. This is happening—Joel is driving you home.

You’re fucked.

“O-okay,” you say shakily. “Thank you.”

After you grab your bag, Tess walks you and Joel out to the car. Her hand brushes yours as you walk side-by-side on the concrete path to the driveway, and you hope the chill of the night air helps explain away the shiver that goes down your spine at the feeling of her skin against yours.

“Thanks again for watching the kids,” Tess says when you reach the car. Before you can, she’s opening up the door for you, gesturing for you to enter the vehicle. You duck your head in thanks, sliding into the front seat and placing your bag down at your feet. She leans against the open door, her frame looming above yours. You have to look up to meet her eye, and seeing her look down at you makes you gulp.

“You have a good rest of your night, sweetheart,” she continues, nodding down at your bag. “Don’t work too hard. Relax, enjoy yourself, okay?”

“Okay,” you breathe out. “I will. Thank you.”

Tess winks at you with a soft nod of her head. She and Joel say quick goodbyes before she’s shutting your door and heading back inside. As Joel turns on the car, you reach up to pull your seatbelt into place. You’re able to pull it out about an inch before it locks. You pull it a couple of times, trying to get it to unlock, but it won’t budge. You let it go with a huff, ready to give up on it.

“Oh, sorry about that,” Joel says. “Damn thing’s finicky as hell, been meaning to take it apart see what’s wrong with it for ages. Lemme help.”

Before you even have a chance to respond, Joel’s reaching over the center to grab ahold of the seatbelt. His body leans over yours, your face leveled perfectly with his chest. Your senses are overwhelmed by him—the broadness of his body, his natural scent mixed with his cologne, the sound of his breathing in your ear. It all swirls together to steal the breath from your lungs. You feel dizzy, almost, completely surrounded by him.

You don’t know what he does to get the seatbelt to unlock, but he’s able to pull it out all the way. You expect him to hand it to you, but he doesn’t. Instead, he slowly leans back towards his seat, taking it with him. He uses both of his hands to adjust the seatbelt in place against your body, reaching down to buckle it in for you. The click of the buckle feels deafening in the quiet car.

“There you go,” Joel murmurs, still close enough to you that you can feel his breath against the side of your face.

With a shaking breath, you slowly turn your head to face him. He’s so fucking close, your lips a hairs-breadth away from his. It’d be so easy for you to just lean forward and close the distance between the two of you, to put your lips on his. You couldn’t do that, though.

Could you?

Joel makes the decision for you, closing the space between you and kissing you with fervor. The force of it makes you moan, and he doesn’t miss the opportunity to slide his tongue into your mouth. Your eyes flutter shut as your hands reach up to tangle into his hair, gripping it and pulling him even closer to you. He groans into your mouth, the sound vibrating down your body and settling in your core.

He nips at your bottom lip, grabbing it between his teeth and pulling on it. The pain of his bite and the sharpness of the tug makes you whine. He soothes the ache with his tongue. Slowly, he plants one smaller, softer kiss on your lips before he pulls away. He plops back down into the driver’s seat, his eyes glassy as he looks at you. Your chest is heaving, your lungs not able to take in enough air. He says something to you, but the blood in your head is pounding so loud you can’t hear him.

Joel says your name once, twice, three times before the sound registers in your brain. You blink rapidly in an attempt to clear your head. When your eyes finally refocus, you’re mortified by what you see.

He looks normal. His hair isn’t messed up from your fingers, his lips aren’t shiny and kiss-swollen, he’s not panting for breath. It’s as if he didn’t just give you the best kiss of your life.

It hits you, then, that you fucking imagined the whole thing. Your eyes go wide at the realization, embarrassment shooting through you. You laugh nervously, avoiding his eyes.

“Sorry! I must have spaced out. It’s been a long day,” you attempt to deflect, your voice completely lacking the confidence you need to sell it. “What’d you say?”

“I asked for your address,” he says, his voice laced with amusement. God, he must think you’re an idiot. You wouldn’t be surprised if he and Tess found a new babysitter for the kids.

You rattle off the address of your apartment building and he types it into his phone. Once he knows where he’s going, he backs out of the driveway and takes off down the street.

The car ride to your apartment building is spent in silence. You’re too embarrassed to speak and Joel seems to sense your unease, respecting it enough to not try and force conversation. You’re grateful for that, knowing you’d only make an even bigger fool of yourself if you tried to talk to him right now. After about fifteen minutes, Joel’s pulling into the parking lot of your building.

Before you can thank him for the ride home, he’s unbuckling his seatbelt and getting out of the car. You watch him through the windshield as he jogs across the front of the car and to your door. He opens it and leans over you, leaving you to stare at him, dumbfounded.

“This is it, right?” he asks. When you nod your head yes, he continues, “Aren’t you gonna get out, then?”

Without a word, you unbuckle your seatbelt and grab your bag from the floor. Joel moves out of the way enough for you to comfortably step out of the car, but the front of your body brushes against him as you do. You step away from him as subtly as you can while he closes the door.

“C’mon,” he says, nodding towards your building. “I’ll walk you to your door.”

You nod, shouldering your bag and heading in the direction of your apartment. The walk to your door is quick, thankfully. Under different circumstances, you’d be thrilled to be spending this much time alone with Joel. Right now, though, all you want is to go inside and be alone.

“This is me,” you say when you reach your apartment. You turn to Joel and plaster on what you hope to be a convincing smile. “Thanks again for the ride home.”

“Anytime,” he says with a soft grin. “You head on inside, now. Enjoy your night.”

Your smile morphs into something softer, more genuine, as you nod your head. “Okay, I will. Goodnight, Joel.”

“G’night, sweetheart.” 

He watches as you unlock the door with shaking hands, waits until you step inside, and give him a shy, parting smile. You don’t hear his retreating footsteps until after you click the lock into place. You drop your bag to the floor and turn to press your back against the cool wood of the door.

“Fuck,” you say out into your quiet apartment. For the first time all evening, you feel like you can breathe. Finally alone, you allow yourself to acknowledge how uncomfortably wet your panties have gotten. You’re gonna need to take care of that before you can focus on anything else.

Joel takes the stairs up to the second floor two at a time when he gets home. He’s anxious to get to Tess, having made the fifteen-minute ride home in less than ten. He’s hard in his jeans, practically bursting through the fly. He needs Tess, and he needs her now.

When he enters their shared bedroom, he finds her reclined on the bed, a book in her hands. She’s already changed out of her outfit from dinner, replacing her cocktail dress with a simple blue nightie. He couldn’t care less what she’s wearing right now, though—it’ll be on the floor in a matter of minutes.

Tess smirks when she gets a good look at Joel. His cheeks are flushed red, his pupils are blown wide, his chest is heaving. She slowly sets the book down on the bedside table and asks, “I take it dropping her off went fine.”

“Fine,” Joel grumbles as he approaches her, working at the buttons of his shirt. When it’s open, hanging unbuttoned off his shoulders, he grabs her ankle, pulling her down the bed to meet him at the edge. He grinds his hard cock against her clothed center, the twin groans echoing through the room. “Does this feel like it went fine to you?”

“Jesus, Joel,” Tess whimpers, shifting her hips to try and get more friction. “What the hell happened?”

“I’ll tell you what the hell happened,” Joel huffs. His hands find the hem of her nightie, roughly pulling it up and over her head. He drops it to the ground without ceremony and shrugs his own shirt off all the way. He takes a moment to admire Tess’ bare body underneath him, how beautiful she looks with her hair fanning out against the sheets, the way her chest heaves with each excited breath. 

He continues, looking back up at her eyes, “The fuckin’ seatbelt locked on her and she couldn’t get it out. Had to reach over and do it for her. Could feel her breathin’ on my skin. Took everything in me not to fuck her right there in the front seat. She spaced out, got that glassy look in her eyes, the same one you get when you come. Don’t know what she was thinkin’ about, but I could tell she wanted it just as bad as I did. Then I had to spend fifteen fuckin’ minutes in the car with her, alone, all while tryin’ not to finish in my pants like a goddamn teenager.”

“Fuck,” Tess breathes out. Her hands slide up Joel’s arms and over his shoulders before curling into his hair and tugging. He groans at the sensation, dropping his head to rest against hers. “Tell me what she looked like when you buckled her in.”

Joel continues to grind his hips down against Tess, uncaring of the mess she’s undoubtedly making on his pants. He’s relishing in the noises she’s making for him as she thinks of you. It makes him harder than it should, knowing his partner is getting off to the thought of another person. He answers her, “She looked so fuckin’ sweet. Her lips were parted, eyes blown wide. She was tremblin’, could it feel it when I situated the strap against her chest. Poor thing didn’t know what to do with herself.”

“Jesus Christ,” Tess whimpers. She bucks her hips up into his, whining at the friction. It’s good, but it’s not enough. “Need you, Joel. Want you to fuck me while you tell me how we’d fuck her if she were here.”

Joel practically growls at Tess’ request. He pulls away from her just long enough to get his jeans and boxers off and onto the floor. He’s back on her in a second, pushing one of her thighs down on the bed to spread her open for him.

“Filthy fuckin’ woman,” Joel grumbles as he runs the tip of his cock over Tess’ soaked pussy. He taps the tip against her clit a few times, smirking at the whine it draws out from her throat. “Need my cock while we talk about fuckin’ the babysitter, huh?”

It happens in the blink of an eye. One second, he’s hovering over her, teasing and taunting her. The next, Joel’s laying flat on his back, Tess straddling his hips. He barely has time to register the change in position before she’s sinking down on him all the way. The feeling of her warm, wet cunt wrapped so suddenly around his cock forces a shout from his mouth. She covers his mouth with one of her hands, looking down at him with a glare as her chest heaves.

“I said talk, Miller,” Tess says breathlessly, lifting up a little before sinking back down. The movement makes Joel groan, the sound vibrating against her hand and sending a shiver throughout her body. “Not tease. Now, you’re gonna shut up and listen while I tell you what we’d do if she were here.”

Joel nods his agreement, the fire in his eyes dimming and turning glassy now that Tess has taken over. Her movements start out slow, letting them both adjust to the feeling of his cock being inside of her. Joel groans against Tess’ hand and she smirks down at him, rolling her hips faster over him, moving in a way she knows is going to get both of them to the end quickly.

“I know you’re just dyin’ to find out what her pussy tastes like,” Tess moans. “I’d spread her open for you, have her back pressed tight up against my chest, put my legs over hers so she couldn’t shut ‘em.” 

She cuts herself off with a whimper as Joel’s hips buck up to meet the movements of her hips. They settle into a rhythm together, Joel fucking up into her every time she moves to sink down on him. She continues, “Let you bury your face in her sweet cunt while I play with her tits. You’re so good with your tongue, Joel, you’d make her come so hard.”

Joel lets out a muffled fuck, his eyes screwing shut as he imagines what Tess is describing to him. You, with your beautiful body on display for them, your legs spread open by Tess’, your pretty pussy wet and needy for his mouth. He wonders what kind of sounds you’d make—would you be loud, your moans rumbling out of your chest unabashedly? Or would you be quiet, soft whines and whimpers falling from your lips? He wouldn’t care—he’d want it all.

“I’d put her mouth to work next,” Tess says, breaking his attention from the fantasy. “Let her eat my pussy while you fuck her from behind. Would you like that? Do you wanna fuck her tight little pussy while she eats me out?”

Joel nods his head furiously in agreement. Yes, he very much wants that. He can see it so clearly in his mind—Tess writhing in pleasure while you lick at her cunt, your own moans vibrating through her while Joel takes your pussy hard and fast. He’d have the perfect view of your ass, able to see the way your skin ripples with the force of his thrusts. He could grab both of your cheeks in his hands, could smack them ‘til they were hot and burning. You’d take it all—you’d take everything from them. It’s that thought that brings Joel to his end.

His orgasm hits him like a storm, his hips stuttering against Tess’ as he moans brokenly behind her hand. His cock twitches inside of her, filling her up with the thick ropes of his come. She sighs at the feeling, moving faster to work him through it. She finally pulls her hand away from his mouth and he takes in a shuddering breath, watching with hooded eyes as she licks the pads of two of her fingers. Quickly, she brings them down to where she and Joel are joined, rubbing her clit in tight, wet circles. It only takes her a moment to come, too, the fluttering of her pussy around his over-sensitive cock pulling a hoarse shout from him.

Tess falls forward onto Joel’s chest when she’s come down from her high. He wraps his arms around her, holding her tightly against them as they both fight to catch their breaths. The weight of Tess’ body on top of his, the warm air of her breathing on his chest, helps to ground Joel back in reality. He can’t remember the last time he came that hard, and he almost feels guilty about the fact that it was because he was thinking about you.

He doesn’t feel guilty, though. Not when he knows talking about you got Tess off, too.

Tess pushes herself up on shaking arms and smiles down at Joel. “Told you so.”

Joel’s face scrunches up in confusion. “What?”

“In the car,” Tess says, her smile morphing into more of a smirk. “I said I knew you wanted to fuck her just as much as I did. The way you just came from me talkin’ about her proved me right.”

“Shut up,” Joel scoffs out with a laugh. He leans up to kiss her, entirely too soft and sweet for the way she’s still sitting on his softening cock, his come leaking out around the sides. She smiles against his lips, pulling away slightly to peck him a few times in rapid succession.

“Think she got off thinking about us tonight, too?” Tess asks against Joel’s lips.

He groans in response, his eyes falling shut. “You’re a fucking menace.”

You can hardly wait to lock yourself in your room after Joel brings you home to kick off your shorts and panties. You’re aching, desperate to make yourself come and hopefully clear some of the brain fog he and Tess have caused you this evening. You get comfortable in your bed, pull your vibrator out from your nightstand, and get to work.

Your orgasm comes easily. You’re already so close to the edge, all of your thoughts and fantasies of Joel and Tess—them together, separately, both with you and without you—blurring in your head as you work your vibrator over your clit. Within a matter of minutes, you’re coming, your back arching off of the bed and their names falling from your lips like a prayer.

You swirl your vibrator around your clit a few more times until the oversensitivity becomes too much. You click the toy off and toss it to the side. With a frustrated sigh, you bring your hands up to rub at your eyes. 

It’s nearly painful how badly you want Joel and Tess. You thought that, maybe, if you could make yourself come to the thought of them just once, you’d be able to clear your system. That you could go back to functioning around them like a normal person. The dull ache that still remains in your pussy, despite having come already and being too sensitive to try for another one, only serves to prove your theory wrong.

You haven’t cleared them from your system. In fact, it seems like you’ve only made your desire for them worse. You can’t stop thinking about them, what it’d be like for them to take you to bed. You don’t think they’d be slow or sweet—or at least Tess wouldn’t. No, she’d tease you, work you up and bring you just to the edge, over and over, but wouldn’t let you fall. She’d keep you hanging until you were begging for it. Only then would she let you come, maybe on her fingers, probably on her tongue.

Then there’s Joel. God, what would it be like to fuck him? Would he hold you close as he sunk into you? Or would he push your face down into the mattress and haul your ass up into the air so he could fuck you from behind? Your read on him wasn’t as solid as your read on Tess, but fuck, did you like to imagine him any way you could.

The thought of Joel fucking you from behind while your tongue is buried in Tess’ pussy springs to your mind. It sends a jolt of arousal through your body and makes your cunt throb. You let out a pitiful whimper as you look over at your vibrator. Fuck it, you think, reaching for the toy again and clicking it on.

You don’t even try to muffle the moan that tears from your throat when you press the toy against your clit. You work it over your sensitive bundle as you continue to imagine Joel’s cock pounding into you, your tongue working over Tess’ pussy sloppily. You can practically hear the sounds they’d make, Joel’s rough grunts and Tess’ low moans. You’d whimper into Tess, the vibration traveling through her body. She’d grab your head and hold you steady, grinding her pussy up into your eager mouth. Both of them would take and take and take from you—and you’d be all too happy to give.

You feel like you might pass out then and there when you come for a second time. Stars burst behind your eyelids as your cunt tightens and contracts around nothing. Your thighs clamp shut around your hand as you ride out the waves of pleasure. With shaking fingers, you turn off your vibrator and drop it onto the bed beneath you.

You barely register the sound of your phone dinging with a text notification over the rush of blood in your head. You ignore it until your breathing has gone back to normal and your body has stopped shaking. When you grab it and open up your text messages, you nearly drop the device on your face at seeing Tess’ name on your screen.

Hey sweetheart! Sorry to bug ya so late, but wanted to ask before I forgot. Joel and I both have to work late on Monday and the kids all have their different practices after school. If you’re free, can you get ‘em where they need to be, then hang out with them out at the house til one of us gets home? We’ll pay extra since it’s so last minute, just let us know 😘

Fuck. You can’t do it. Not so soon after tonight. You wouldn’t be able to survive it.

Your hands are moving over your keyboard, tapping out a response before your brain even has time to catch up.

“I don’t have to work late on Monday,” Joel murmurs. Tess scoffs and rolls her eyes at him.

“Yeah, but she doesn’t have to know that. Go grab a beer with Tommy after work or something. It’s just to get her over here again.”

As much as Joel wants to have you join him and Tess in bed, he’s unsure of her plan to test the waters with you. It seems risky, like it could maybe back you into a corner that you don’t want to be in.

“We’ll both get her alone,” Tess had said after they’d cleaned up together. “Flirt a little, see how she reacts. Maybe we can each make a little move on her. If she seems into it, we’ll talk to her about joining us.”

“Think it’ll work?” Joel had asked skeptically.

Tess gave him a mischievous little smile. “It’ll work.”

Tess’ phone vibrates before he can respond. She quickly unlocks it, opening up the text notification from you. Joel gulps as he reads it, Tess’ face breaking out into a wide smile as she does.

Of course! It won’t be a problem at all. See you on Monday 😊

Joel rereads the text over and over and over again. It’s a simple response, nothing out of the ordinary for your exchanges with Tess. But it ignites a—perhaps unfounded—spark of hope in his belly.

Maybe this will work.

[factual-fantasy]

25 asks! :00 Thank you! :}} 💖

I would like to yeah :0 for now I'm just kind'a goofin around and drawing whatever. Also thank you!! :DD I'm glad you like it! :}}}

I don't think kid Gregory and Vanessa would realize that the other is a younger version of the guard that's pursuing them.. They would just think they have the same name.

What would be confusing though is who went into who's world. If Little Vanessa went to little Gregory's world, she would be so confused. "Where's Bonnie and Foxy? Why do Roxy and Monty look so different..? Why does the entire BUILDING look different..??"

For adult Gregory going into the kid Gregory's world.. it'd be the same thing. "Why is the building so different and where is Bonnie and Foxy?... Also why is there this random gal that has on a security uniform and why is she in my office-"

Thank you! Happy new year to you as well!! 🎉🥳🎊

YOOOO THAT'D BE SICK!! :DDD Also I love all the puns XDD

Yeah, that post is outdated and should not be followed. My pinned post has all the up to date information. 👍

(Also thank you! :D)

That's a thing?? Man. I'm not sure what to think. I was never super into Bendy.. I guess I just hope that the fans get what they're hoping for? <:D

Or at the very least I hope that the people who made Bendy have the freedom to put what ever they want into the movie. :}

Thank you so much! :DD As for my favorite character from my AU specifically? I'd say its a tough pick between Freddy and Foxy.. I thiiiiink I'll pick Freddy XD I just love him man 🥺

@skeletormasterofevil

N-No.. she was so young...💔

@underfalls-36

XDDD That's hilarious, also thANK YOU SO MUCH!! :DDD

Calico Jack? I don't think so.. scurvy is caused by a severe vitamin-C deficiency. And sailors usually got it becuase they didn't have fruits and vegetables on the ship.. But it looks like Calico Jack has gotten shipwrecked quite a few times in his life. I imagine he's been stranded on islands for a few weeks at a time where he ate nothing but fruits, Veggies and fish. Not to mention his time in the Amazon where he likely had access to all kinds of fruits.

Natquik though? Its possible.. out in the Antarctic his diet was probably mostly fish.. although it seems that real arctic fox diets don't really demand many fruits and veggies.. Still, Natquik seems more likely to have contracted scurvy at one point then Calico Jack :(

:DDD THANK YOU! And boy do I have a lot of that XD

I do have many theories/headcannons yes!.. Although I think I'll keep those tucked away in my brain for now- :x

@citrusfruitman

(Post in question)

XDD I sat on the first ask for a while because I was intending to draw something for it. But I'm realizing now that I might not ever draw it so--

What was going on in that drawing is an evil Undyne threw a spear at the group while they were passing by. Seam was struck in the head by it and was killed.. hence the blood splatter on her face. (My darkeners bleed)

BUT ITS OKAY! Through some uh... very dark methods- Frisk was able to reset to a few moments before and pull Seam out of the way. Then she got into a brawl with the evil Undyne no doubt <XD

I have, and uh, I'm not so sure about the whole "in character" thing.. or at least its not the character I imagined Fazbear Entertainment would be- <XD

It just means they're both rough and tough and their hands get beat up a lot. Kwazii gets them beat from scraping them on stuff and dealing with dangerous creatures while on missions. And Calico Jack gets them from scraping them on stuff and.. dealing with dangerous creatures while on adventures XDD

@spinelfan11

XDD I have now! What an odd specimen..

(Also thank you! :DDD)

@milk-powrit

Its hard to explain exactly why I don't like them.. But I don't like them-

I guess it feels kind'a.. mary sue-ish..? If that makes sense? Or at least having all these sans' that act nothing like the original sans is kind'a off putting? I guess? Not to mention loads of them are shipped together- uhg idk- Its hard to explain but I don't vibe with them personally. So I didn't add them to my au :/

@abaroo

OOOO THAT'S A GOOD IDEA!! :000 I like how it creates a spin on Grillby and River. While Jevil intentionally grabbed Grillby's hand and saved him, and River was dragged along by mistake.. Frisk CHOSE to follow Jevil, it wasn't his doing at all this time. That's a really cool thing to experiment with!

I'll have to look into this idea, thank you for sharing! And thank you for the complements! AND happy new year to you too! XDD

@the-great-bonkings

XDD For receiving hugs? I'd say he's about a 11/10 sometimes, maybe a 6/10 other times. Its harder to hug him comfortably if you're significantly shorter/smaller than he is. But if ur the right size his hugs will just fix all your problems 🥺

As for giving hugs? It might be about the same. But I can see him giving them out only to people he's really close to. Otherwise a tender yet professional hand on the shoulder seems more his style.

XD And I see the prompt there, perhaps I'll have to draw that sometime!

@tanileaf

YOU LIKE? :DDD THANK YOU! I'M SO GLAD!

Aww shucks 😊 Thank you!

@khoiazo

Whaaaat?? Nooo Its not traumaaa,,🥺 its character development!😇

TRUEEEEE

I do! I'll have to post more about them sometime-- 👀👀

@cudlycorncornsworthcoberson

WAAAA THANK YIOU SO MUCH!!! IM SO GLAD YOUY LIKE MY OCTONAUTS SILLIES 💖💖😭💖

[princess-of-the-corner]

Okay, so, in PMD, even though apprentices are part of the Guild, they can still form their own Teams (as the MC character does). Does anyone in 1A do that? Like, Deku-Crew is an actual Team (Izuku/Ochako/idk?Iida?)? BakuSquad was formed almost against Katsuki's will? The Big Three (Lemillion/Neigre/Tamaki) are the most recent team from UA? Present Mic & Aizawa used to be on a Team with Kurogiri, but disbanded when he "disappeared"?

I feel like teams would be a bit more fast and loose with the kids because they're trying to solidify the teams and who works well together. So they just trade out as they see fit until they eventually settle into a team in the later years.

So like to use the Big Three example, they've only just recently solidified the idea of 'we are a permanent Team together'. Meanwhile 1-A just kinda group up somewhat randomly, though they do start leaning somewhat toward the same people.

That said I thiiiiink I may use this as one of the few AUs where Izuku and Katsuki don't have their falling out? Because I can't really translate 'Quirklessness' as well, but unlike the Monster AU they have a specific career goal that would keep them together.

So those two often end up teaming up together. They have occasional team ups without each other, so we get the 'Dekusquad' and 'Bakusquad' teams at times, but they're familiar with each other and fall back on that a lot.

[aspenisrping]

hiya!! my name is aspen (like the tree or the dental company, perhaps the city) and i’m 23 years old!! est time zone, i usually work nights but im around very very late at night and usually try to communicate even when im working n stuff. i’ve been roleplaying for well over ten years at this point, its always been a very fun hobby for me! i’ve got a slew of ocs that ive cooked in my head, and im open to several fandoms too, though i dont usually get a chance to delve into them since they’re not very,,,, popular anymore tbh jfmgmgmg.

my one request is patience and understanding!! if we don’t mesh, that’s totally fine! i’m ghost friendly but i’m also more than okay if you just tell me you’d like to drop.

for fandomless roleplays, i heavily prefer queer pairings!!!!!!!! mxm, fxf, nbxa, give me all of them i will devour them. i’ve got a large amount of male ocs, a good amount of female and nb ocs!!! for plots i can really be open to anything, i have a modern fantasy-ish verse ive been crafting in my head for a good minute here and i would LOVE to ramble about it. i’ll list my fandoms below!!!!

pokémon: raihan x leon*, raihan x piers*, blue* x red, ethan* x silver*

splatoon: agent 4* x agent 3*, agent 8* x agent 3*, pearl* x marina

danganronpa: shuichi x kaede*, kaito x kokichi*, shuichi x kokichi*, miu x kaede*, toko* x komaru, aoi* x sakura*, kiyotaka* x mondo, hajime* x nagito*, chiaki* x sonia*, gundham x sonia* (probably more tbh)

voltron (don’t look at me): keith* x lance

night in the woods: I WILL WRITE ANYONE. PLEASE.

omori: i would LOVE to write basil or mari pls pls pls pls pls

all for the game: neil* x andrew*, kevin x andrew*, jean x jeremy*, renee* x allison*

i thiiiiink? thats it for my lil intro!! if you’re interested in an rp please feel free to dm me or leave a note on this and i will inquire asap!!!! thanks :3

[kakusu-shipping]

Happy birthday babybear!!!! ψ(｀∇´)ψ

Oranges peaches and pears for the selfship ask game?~ (๑╹ω╹๑ )

Thankyou very much love!!!! (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)

Oranges ✦ Who was your first fictional other? Do you still ship with them?

Regulars around here know this one by now but my first F/O before I knew what that was was Mario Jumpman Mario himself

And yes I still self ship with him, my beloved and cool big bro <3

Peaches ✦ Who is your most recent f/o? What drew you to them?

That's a good question actually, who is my most recent F/O...? Aaah I probably should have chosen something better than Microsoft Office Powerpoint to list my F/Os because it doesn't tell you what slide is newest fgjfdgkj

I thiiiiink, based on photo reblogs and not counting Crush F/Os... It's Drayton and Kieran from Pokemon Scarlet/Violent's DLC? Yeah yeah Jillian was added before them and K before her okay okay

What drew me to Kieran was how obviously hopelessly in love he was with the MC of SV and also his Yandere Stare in the Indigo Disk. Then I liked Drayton because of how much he liked Kieran, and what a bully he is.

Pears ✦ What kind of relationship do you have the most f/os with? How many f/os do you have in total?

I have the most Familial F/Os, though that's counting F/Os who are both Familial and Romantic, which is a crossover I have a lot of. I do love a Family kind of trope what can I say <3

Oh it's a good thing I opened the powerpoint for the last ask actually kfdgjkfdjk Let's see as of February 11th 2024 I have

133 Romantic F/Os

135 Familial F/Os

117 Platonic/Queerplatonic F/Os

67 Crush F/Os

110 Agere Related F/Os

Not accounting for overlap because I don't have the ability to do so and not take less than an hour, I currently have 562 F/Os (give or take with Overlap)

Ah, that's more than I thought I had... That's a lot of dynamics rattling in my head, and yet I really only get to talk about a handful of them huh...

[probablygayattorneys]

So, unfortunately I have a rare medical condition that the professionals call “fucked in the head”

(Okay, that’s not quite true, but we have neither the time nor I the desire to lay out my full health history)

Meaning that I have trouble remembering entire stretches of my life, so while I have vivid knowledge that I played most puzzle games from the early aughts, I don’t have a whole lot of memories of the games themselves, so as I embark on yet another journey to rechart the territory of something I know I loved (Trace Memory), I thought I would pause for a second to write down what I think I remember and then later we can look back and see if I was right or not!

Let’s take a second to take stock of what I remember

-Ashley’s aunt telling her nobody remembers things that happen when they’re three

-There’s a ghost boy named D

-I thiiiiink there’s multiple endings, and one involves D moving on and one involves him stuck on Blood Edward Island forever

-There’s a puzzle that involves a piano (though I might be conflating that with the crazy piano monster from Super Mario 64, since I played both in my formative years)

-At one point you have to remember the identity of the person from your bad dream, even though Ashley’s aunt says it’s not a real memory

-………….I think that’s it.

Not much to go off of, huh?

[thistaleisabloodyone]

I found, I believe, the context for the Rampage zoo visit and, like... No English subtitles, so running with Vibes:tm: only, but it looks like they're divided into three teams (Team 1: Takahide, Kazuma, Ryu, Makoto and Kaisei, because apparently all of the 98's except Takuma gets stuck together; Team 2: Likiya, Riku, YamaSho, Itsuki and Shohei; and Team 3: Zin, Takuma, Hokuto, Kenta, Shogo and Rui) and each team is sent to a different part of the park presumably to Do Something:tm:.

I'm updating this as I go, I apologize for any and all bizarre tense changes.

Team 1 has two members going up the maintenance stairs at a roller coaster, presumably to do something. Kazuma and Makoto, you are such brave, brave souls.

Team 2 is, I believe, cleaning out some part of a feline exhibit of some variety. They keep having to walk through the lion house much to Likiya's trauma.

And Team 3 was ... sent to one of the game stands and is, I believe, drawing logos for a bingo game.

I'm sorry, half of Team 2 is making retching noises and Likiya's repeatedly making peace with his own death, Makoto and Kazuma are safety lined so they don't plummet to their death off a roller coaster, and these six are - drawing logos? Team 1 got safety harnesses and hard hats, Team 2 got gloves, rags and baskets to do manual labor, and Team 3 was given paper and markers? 😂 Shit, what did the other ten do to piss the staff off so much?

And while Team 2's fucking - clearing out a gutter section, Team 3 shows up outside the exhibit to watch them. Like, my god, guys 😂 Damn, Team 2 must've pissed staff off something good, good lord.

Cut to Team 1's incredibly brave souls and Makoto and Kazuma both have go-pros pointing at their faces. Makoto seems to be breathing very deliberately.

I think the other 98's are being very helpful and watching safely from the base (😂). Kaisei said something about wanting to get ice cream later.

The guy who is showing Makoto and Kazuma their next steps has left the stairs and is now on the track proper, though safety-lined in, and you can see Makoto's life before his eyes. I think he stopped breathing for a moment.

Okay, so - I'm not sure what happened to the rollercoaster, but now there's a shot of the ferris wheel and it looks like all 16 members are holding ends of strings and pulling them out of a box to see who they ride with. I thiiiiink? To everyone's amusement, Zin and Likiya are riding together, but let's see.

First duo in the ferris wheel is Riku and Kazuma! Once they were in the air, Riku pulled out a piece of paper, I think they have a mission to complete. The fact that Kazuma's saying "Nani" does not fill me with confidence on their ability to do 😂

Second duo is Takahide and Itsuki, who also pull out a piece of paper and there's a conversation. Itsuki mentioned EXPG, so - maybe something related to dance school?

Then before we have more duos in the ferris wheel, we get a shot of what's to come for the teams and. My god. My god, what did Teams 1 and 2 do to the staff? Team 3's dancing, but Makoto and Kazuma are continuing to flirt with death and Team 2's cleaning out animal shelters.

Alright, Part 2 now! And, yep. Yep. Team 2's cleaning out the elephant house. Shohei steps inside, retches, leaves. Riku steps inside, retches, takes a step further, then turns around to call the others inside (😂 ). Itsuki isn't even inside and he's retching.

Once they get inside, Riku's the one talking, I think because he's the only one who can. Itsuki looks like he's praying for this to be a bad dream he wakes up from.

[familyromantic]

Not doing the poll because I think the situation is a little too complex for a "yes/no/other" kind of answer, but... have you already an artist you'd like to commission in mind? Or is it more of a vague idea right now?

If it's just an idea... personally, I'd try looking at different artists and either checking their carrd/BYF/commission info/FAQ to see if they have a "things I won't do/I'm not comfortable with" section or, if they have some variant of "proship/proshipper" or "anti-anti" or "comship/comshipper" in their header or pinned post, I'd try sending them an ask like, "Hello! I really like your art and I was wondering, if I wanted to commission art of an incest ship from you, would you be okay with that?" You could also send it on anon if you felt more comfortable or safer that way.

Alternatively, I thiiiiink there was an old post on the Shipcestuous blog calling for artists willing to do incest commissions. I'm not sure how many people actually answered, though. You could try asking Astrid how it went.

If you already have an artist in mind, on the other hand, I'd try going through their blog to see if they have any posts about fandom discourse/problematic ships/incest. Or failing that (because fuck Tumblr's refusal to fix the search function), I'd try with the anon ask again. What I wouldn't is do lie to the artist/omit the fact that your OCs are in an incestuous relaionship. That sounds kind of sketchy and unnecessarily complicated, and I wouldn't recommend it unless you intended to keep the commission to yourself or post it online without any caption explaining who your OCs actually are. Who knows what could happen, right? And regardless of the artist being fine with incest shipping or not, I doubt they'd appreciate something like that, if they ever found out.

I appreciate your advice! /gen

The things you're saying (about looking at carrds, profile, etc.) are very reasonable. However, I'm not planning to commision art on Tumblr, but on a specialized freelance site. I would be happy to do it on Tumblr, and it would be easier to know if an artist is a proshipper or antishipper, but I just don't have a dollar account! And it would be hard to convert rubles into dollars. So I have to go for Russian artists. As I said, there are usually no antishippers in Russian community, but who knows? I already have a few artists in mind, and they almost all do not have the "things I won't draw" section in the decription. And if they do, it's usually about drawing NSFW.

I don't want to be sketchy and I wouldn't lie for sure! And yes, I do understand what you're saying. I planned to post it on this blog, but yeah, if the author finds it and I don't tell trem, that would be awkward. It's not likely, but as you said, who knows what can happen. Thank you for sending this ask!

[cheapxseats]

here and slowly but surely working on queuing replies.

grandma is okay <3 turns out she blacked out and collapsed but they figured out why it happened and it's completely treatable so all good news. she is still in the hospital for a little while so if i vanish, i'm off to spend some time with her.

i'm baking cookies, cinnamon rolls, and crocheting a baby blanket because i have very soft yarn and its time to learn what to do with it. overall, just a nice, chill self-care day which i desperately need.

blog changes im going to work on while also working on all of this: im removing marin from my muses. even though i love her, i hardly ever have muse for her, and shes not connected to my other muses the way the rest of them are so i think its time for her to go. also i thiiiiink i want to change tara's voice claim but i haven't totally decided but if i start posting a bunch of songs from spotify, you know why.

[bitletsanddrabbles]

Just Because I’m Laughing Doesn’t Mean You’re Stupid

Someone on my Instagram feed who lives next state down mentioned a visit to the Willamette Valley. At the end of the post, she included a pronunciation guide:

"will-AM-met" not "WILL-ah-met"

It got me thinking of people who come to Washington and, quite frankly, butcher the place names because....um....seriously, have you seen our place names?!? I mean, yes, if you’re from someplace else in the States, and I thiiiiink Canada has this too although I may be wrong, you’re at least used to seeing place names based on Indigenous languages. You have almost a snow balls’s chance in Hell of not completely blowing it.

If you’re from anywhere else and you haven’t heard something pronounced, you’re going to blow it. And when people blow it, we tend to laugh, and they get huffy because they think we’re mocking them, but we’re not.

No, really, we’re not.

...

Okay, some of us might be, because there are people like that everywhere you go. The rest of us, though? The rest of us spent our lives talking about “Squim” only to learn in adulthood that it’s spelled “Sequim” and proceeded to do about three sequential double takes before spitting out “WHO THE WHA NOW?” or something equally incomprehensible.

We understand. We laugh because you just reminded us that, yes, our place names really are that crazy pants. We are sympathizing with you and appreciating your valiant efforts to guess which syllable is stressed and which letter is silent in “Kopachuck”.

(This one’s a trick - it’s the first syllable and none of them are silent. But I understand. I didn’t get it right the first time either, and I was born here.)

So when in doubt, just do your best, and assume that we are laughing with you, not at you, because odds are good.................

Actually, depending on how rural you’re going and in which direction, odds are good we’ve never heard of the place you’re talking about either, and have no more idea than you do!

[leonstamatis]

Rules: post the first lines of your last 10 fics posted to ao3. if you have less than 10 fics posted, post the first lines of all your fics.

tagged by @waveridden!

a window to break out

The first time he tries to get home, it’s with the ruined pieces of the Tallus in his hands.

Nate knows he was right when he told Blink not to come back for him; there’s too much risk to that. He had to close the door and lock these worlds away, where no one can get hurt. But the Tallus had stayed behind with him.

2. symbiosis

It isn’t that Doric wants a rogue in the party. Rogues are worse liars than anyone, if Forge was anything to go by, and she doesn’t have the patience for that.

3. driftwood

If asked, anyone around would say the best thing Annie Cresta ever did was float.

It was an uneventful final. Bodies, animal and human and mechanical alike, floated like driftwood in the aftershocks of a disaster and the cameras searched the wreckage for any sign of life.

4. honey, honey

Edric plops down onto Ruthless’ bed with what can only be described as a shit-eating grin. He holds a journal in his hands, pages yellowed and leather binding split along the spine where it’s been opened and shut too many times. Edric holds it out toward Ruthless with a little shake.

5. from the bones to the other side

Before the fall, things were… Okay, Edric wouldn’t say things were easier. But they were simpler. Less room for error and for that creeping sense of anxiety and uncertainty on the back of his neck.

6. the waiting and the wanting

Nerd looks lovely today. It’s hardly a surprise; Val is of the expert opinion that Nerd is always lovely, regardless of date or time or circumstance, but he’s not so much of a zealot that he’ll confess as much.

7. something wicked

The first time we speak after she disappears, it’s standing in the bay with cold water splashing against our hips. She’s staring off into the distance, where the sun hovers just above the horizon. With the reflection in the water, it makes a perfect circle. A gold coin just out of reach for the both of us.

8. hooked

The doorway to this realm is foreboding. An arch of animal bones shimmers in the air in front of Lyke, and he almost wants to turn around and high-tail it somewhere else. If the point of an escape route is to take him somewhere safer, then this doesn’t really fit the bill.

9. ground control

“It’s so quiet.”

They’re the first words out of Rivers’ mouth when Caleb tracks her down. She speaks in a shell-shocked monotone that Caleb has heard before — usually after someone is pulled from a burning building, though.

10. burning

Let’s set the scene, then.

It’s a bar in Houston. The lights above the door flicker intermittently. Most of the letters are dim or altogether broken, leading most of those who pass by to believe in its status as a shady, disreputable establishment. Rather than enter from street level, you have to walk down a half flight of stairs.

i thiiiiink most of my writerly mutuals have been tagged in this already but just for funsies i'll go ahead and tag @sarsaparillia @magictavern @birdlord5000 and anyone else who wants to!

[vatican3]

shit fuck i dint remember if i put thay on anon please answer this one if you did ik not ready for the world to know im a puppet fucker

awaa AWAAA i didnt expect this much support 👉👈. sorry it took me a bit to gather up the courage to send another ask but. i really like the trxture of felt. a lot. Lot. i can get off to it so easily. its like. i cant fully explain it its just so Good to me. and im obj so yk. its more than just me liking the textures of the puppets. i think its the 'tism for me too. ive never like. actually fucked. puppets b4 but the idea the idea is a huge turn on. i jack off to them though. not like. childrens puppets im not. like that. but like if youve ever read be kind my neighbor.. well. yeah. but anyways i thiiiiink. itd make for good foreplay and roleplay. im a bit of a puppeteer, not anything impressive but its a bit of a hobby. and i think. yk theyd be at least understanding of weird kinks and desires and attachment of inanimate objects. and also i think theyd be down for whatever at the end of the day even if they dont express a lot of things. but !! back to the roleplay part. yk its been a weird fantasy of mine to rail someone while controlling a puppet. just absolutely destroying them while whatever praise or degradations coming from the puppet n not me. or like. we act like a duo yk? your puppet is both an extention of yourself and a separate entity. and just like. the idea of copia lettin me do that makes me all mushy inside. and hard. its a weird combo of both.

YOU WERE ON ANON DON’T WORRY!!! Even I don’t know who you are.

Okay listen to me. This sounds like exactly the kind of cross section of strange and particular that Copia would absolutely give a try. There’s no loss here. I think they’d be into it!

Truly this is an entirely harmless thing to be into I don’t think you need to be as nervous about it as you are!! I am intrigued!! I would love to hear more of your thoughts. Please bring as many as you’d like to me. We love you. :3c

[princess-of-the-corner]

If you actually do a complete, from the top reboot for Miraculous. What would be your biggest changes?

So the two things I'd change mostly include

1.) the Development of the Lovesquare

First, have all four corners get proper screentime. Adrienette/Ladynoir the most, but enough Marichat/Ladrien interactions to have the other dynamics set up. Develop these sooner. Have Marinette get over her stuttering at best by the end of Season 1 so she can actually talk to Adrien as a person. Let Ladybug realize Chat's confessions are real.

Utilize Luka and Kagami to reverse the Lovesquare. I've talked on this before, but when Mari and Adrien try to move on they go for people that initially remind them of their crush but are too different. Luka is kind and sweet and honest like Adrien, but lacks Adrien's energy and goofy vibes. Kagami is strong and determined like Ladybug, but lacks Ladybug's softness.

This would happen over Season 2, with the Lovesquare reversing no later than the end of Season 3.

A reveal should happen sometime around this too. Perhaps mid-to-late Season 4.

2.) Team Dynamics!

I just. How can you have a Magical Girl Team where there aren't Team Dynamics because 99% of the team is benched????

So let the others have their Miraculous full time! Not only would we get more of them on screen to play off each other, but we can have even more identity shenanigans.

3.) Decide early on whether Gabriel should be a Sympathetic Villain or an Evil Bastard.

Honestly this goes without saying. But we need to go one way or the other and stick to it. We can't have him refusing to Akumatize Adrien and instead going to be an actual father in one episode, and then literally controlling him with Magic bullshit the next.

4.) Speaking of: If we are going with Senti!Adrien, set it up much earlier. Even if we're limited by how we won't see Sentimonsters until much later, have scenes in earlier seasons/episodes that we can look back on with the new context.

5.) We are not going to villainize teenagers.

Even if we don't give Chloé or Lila redemption arcs(though this is me so probably lmao), they are teenagers in bad situation and are not to be demonized for reacting badly to said situation. While the things they do aren't okay, it does not mean they are irredeemable.

I thiiiiink that's it for now.

[lampmeeting]

If you still need a toki/mags prompt, can I suggest 40 or 42? (I made this for you / is this ok?) I'd love to see anything anyone else picks instead too so don't worry about this one if there are others!

ohh thank you!! “is this ok?” grabbed at me immediately :O

this one gets a bit lewd and a little sad........sorry...(but it’s sweet!)

also post-doomstar, but maybe like 3 or 4 months after the other fic (sorry it’s mostly in magnus’ apartment again haha, the poor man doesn’t get out much)

=+=

A kiss on his way out the door became a regular occurrence. A quick press of lips, a soft sigh, a softer smile, and then Toki would head home. Magnus didn’t know what the fuck it meant, hadn’t really felt up to analyzing it yet. He just knew he liked it when it happened, and obviously it was something Toki wanted to do since he initiated every single time. Even so, once Magnus was left alone in his apartment, there would come that not-so-small voice in the back of his head screaming doubts at him, as it liked it do.

After what you’ve done, you don’t deserve this. Especially not from him.

The next time Toki flew over, Magnus had promised to take him to that really nice aquarium over in Scottsdale. Toki had been talking about it for weeks and texting him pictures from their website. “They gots the movings stairs with a fish tanks all arounds you!” And he was right, they did, and Toki dragged Magnus up and down that escalator at least a dozen times.

Well, maybe dragged was a strong word. Aggressively encouraged, perhaps. Magnus wasn’t really a fish guy, but he had to admit his heart swelled with affection as Toki stared up at the curved glass of the tunnel, pointing out fish as he saw them and tugging at Magnus’ arm.

“Looks at that ones! Oh oh! That ones! And those ones! Oh, wowee!”

The touch pools were Toki’s favorite, though. He flinched with a squeak each time he poked a grippy sea anemone, and he gazed with wonder at the scuttling underside of a horseshoe crab as one of the handlers showed it off to him and a bunch of gathered kids. He tried to get Magnus to pet the stringrays but every time one started to glide close Magnus lost his nerve and popped his hand out of the water to a chorus of children’s laughter. He really wasn’t a fish guy. Still, the brief humiliation seemed worth it if only to hear Toki’s laughter like music over the other voices.

After a visit to the gift shop, they rode the bus back to the Home for Wayward Musicians where Magnus was still set up. Things were...better, he supposed. The job was good. He wouldn’t say rewarding exactly, but it was whatever. And he wasn’t being kept tabs on so strictly anymore, had more freedoms. Still didn’t have a car, but Toki had convinced Offdensen to have a proper lock installed in the door and to remove the security cameras. Dude wasn’t even their manager anymore and he was still taking care of shit. Magnus understood that inability to walk away.

Once inside, Toki took a running dive onto the sofa, hugging his new stuffed whale, sprawled out on his back. “This was the best days evers!”

Magnus peered down at him, resting elbows on the back cushions, exhausted and achy in his chest, but content. “Glad you had fun, buddy.”

“And you hads fun, toos?”

He did, actually. “Yeah.”

Toki smiled, smooshing his cheek into the fuzzy whale. “That’s good to hears.”

Magnus realized he was smiling back and cleared his throat, ears warm. “You wanna get a pizza or something? I dunno about you, but that jellyfish funnel cake in the food court didn’t really do it for me.”

Toki’s eyes twinkled. “Yes please! Ooo!” He sat straight up. “Cans we gets that place whats has the reallies good, um, tir--tirs--um, tirmas--”

“Tiramisu? You mean Parlor?”

“Yeps!” Just as Magnus was about to fret about the cost, Toki added, “I wants to pays for it, toos.”

“What? No way, you’re visiting me. You’re not paying for dinner.” That hurt to say because Parlor was fucking expensive as hell, but it was the principle of the damn thing. He was trying to be a less shitty person, after all. And besides, Toki was only able to come see him every couple weeks, so in the grand scheme of things it wasn’t too terrible.

“But you pays for the aquariums,” Toki said. “And the bus. Ands my whale.”

Magnus felt like he was arguing over the check at the end of a date. No, no, honey, of course you’re not paying. Put your wallet away, this is my treat.

“Yeah, that’s because you’re my guest and I wasn’t raised in a fucking barn. I’ve got this, so don’t you even--uh, what’re you doing?” He almost laughed. “Are you texting right in the middle of me fucking talking to you?”

Toki was on his phone, tapping away with his thumbs, the whale nestled in his arms. His tongue poked out and Magnus fell silent, watching it play across his wet lips. Oh, that was...oh.

After a moment, Toki held up his screen with a smug grin. “Ha! Reads it and weeps!”

Magnus blinked hard to clear the daze from his head and squinted. Order Completed - Thank You! Oh, that crafty bastard had ordered the pizza online! “Hey, not cool, man. You can’t just do that!”

Toki sat there and giggled up at him. “But I dids it!”

The pizza came (Toki had picked Magnus’ favorite, the margherita, damn him) and they ate and watched Dirty Harry and had a few beers. Magnus was still feeling a little gripey about Toki getting the upper hand, but about halfway through the movie Toki finished off the last bite of his tiramisu and reclined into Magnus’ shoulder, and that improved his mood more than he wanted to admit.

“I likes this movie.”

“It’s a classic for a reason,” Magnus said, casually throwing his arm around the guy. Couch cuddles were a normal thing for them now--just something else he refused to think about too hard. It was enough to just enjoy it.

As he settled in a little closer, Toki made a small, relaxed sound in the back of his throat that could’ve easily doubled as a moan, and Magnus’ heart throbbed with a weird skip. His breath caught for a second and heat pooled heavy in his hips. Fuck, he was not doing this right now. He was too old to get hot and bothered just from the sound of someone’s voice. And it didn’t help that Toki kept shifting and rubbing up on him.

Thoughts racing, he traced fingers up and down Toki’s arm and tried to keep his breathing steady for the rest of the movie, barely noticing when Toki snickered at the tits in the topless bar or gasped as Harry dodged bullets fired through the roof of the school bus. When it ended Toki yawned into his whale and announced that he should probably have the jet brought around and start the long flight back home.

Magnus suddenly realized he didn’t want Toki to go at all. Sometimes he had thoughts like that, but never this strong. He wanted to hold Toki snug to him and tell him to call the jet off. He wanted to watch another movie. Play a fucking game. Talk. Anything to keep him in the apartment. But he didn’t say anything, just let Toki get up from his arms and stretch until his fit stomach peeked out between shirt and pants.

He averted his eyes, saw the whale still left on the couch. “You taking this guy?”

“Nopes, he can lives with you. He keeps you company whiles I’m gone so you don’ts gets lonely, okay?"

Magnus’ throat tightened just a bit. “Okay.”

They walked to the door and Toki grabbed him around the middle in a loose hug, grinning up at him. “It was goods to sees you, Magnus. You ams doins, um, reallies great, and I’ms, um.” The grin twitched a little and he went kinda pink high up on his cheekbones. “I’ms prouds of you. S-Sorries, that sounds silly, I thinks...”

“No,” Magnus said quickly, “it’s, uh. It’s fine. That’s good to hear, actually. You, uh--” He swallowed. “--you make it easier, y’know.”

Toki’s eyes went wide and round and looked like two twin aquariums in his head. “Toki...helps?”

“Well...yeah, of course you do, buddy. Of course you do.”

“Oh.” Toki trembled against him. “Ohh, wowee.” Then he craned his neck up and pushed his lips to Magnus’, kissing him firmly. He was delicious, tasting of rich coffee and sugary marscapone. Magnus savored it and waited for him to pull away like he usually did, but Toki twisted fingers in his shirt and moaned and didn’t let him go.

Holy shit, this was new.

And Magnus wanted it.

He reached to cup Toki’s jaw delicately with one hand, his other sliding down to hold him at the small of his back. Toki shuddered and his mouth fell open, deepening the kiss, and he forced Magnus backwards until they thudded into the wall.

“Oof--”

“Sorries.”

“S’fine.”

They continued their crushing kiss and Magnus drew Toki’s hips against his own. Toki gasped, rocked into him, and fuck the guy was already hard. All right, so this was certainly a thing that was happening.

Magnus slipped his hands under the hem of Toki’s shirt to grip at his waist, marveling as core muscles flexed and moved beneath his fingers. How was he in such good shape? What did he do? Magnus tried to think back to when he was that young, all the energy in the world, could get his dick up at the drop of a hat. Better times, man. Could’ve done without the raging smack habit, but, y’know, live and learn.

Fuck, Toki wasn’t slowing down. His breath was fast and needful as Magnus raked hands over him everywhere he could touch. “Magnus--” The kiss broke for a second, long enough for Toki’s pleas to leak out. “More--”

Magnus brushed lips teasingly along Toki’s jaw, his earlobe, down the length of his neck, earning a shaky “oh, fucks”. The earthy smell of the day’s sweat filled his nose, but also the distant scent of strawberries. God damn, was that his shampoo? It made his mouth water and his senses swoon. As he reached the base of his throat, Toki let his head tip back into Magnus’ waiting hand, surrendering to him with a shivering groan.

All right, now was Magnus was hard. He could get off just listening to this. But as he took a moment to adjust himself in his jeans, reality, unfortunately, caught up to him. Every doubt he’d been stuffing down, every nagging feeling that lingered in the wake of Toki’s goodbye kisses, they crowded in on him now and demanded to be dealt with. He pulled back and Toki rubbed bleary eyes, obviously confused.

“What’s wrongs?”

Magnus tried to steady his breath. He didn’t know how to explain himself. “Just, uh. I dunno, Toki. Is this...okay?”

Toki seemed to sober a bit at the question. “Is whats okay?”

“What we’re doing.”

“Magnus.” Toki heaved a frustrated sigh. “Is totallies normal for two mens to kiss each others and be--”

“I know that,” Magnus said, and he couldn’t help the slight laugh that huffed out of him. “I know that very well, trust me. No, I meant, like, us specifically. Is this okay for us.”

“I thinks sos. Why wouldn’ts it?”

“Because of, well--” Over Toki’s shirt, he pressed a palm to his back where he knew the knife scar still marked his skin. “This.”

Toki had shown him the scar a few months ago, was almost excited to. He’d said the lights had made him heal faster and better than he should’ve, and the scar was only barely raised and felt smooth to the touch. Magnus still didn’t know what he thought about lights and gods and prophecies. It all felt so far away from him, and when he thought about what he had seen that night, the star and the bolts of white electricity, Toki felt far away too, even moreso than he was already.

“Oh,” said Toki. “Right. That.”

“Yeah.”

“I know we don’ts...talks about it very much,” Toki said, looking down and fiddling with the buttons on Magnus’ shirt. They really should talk about it more, Magnus resolved. It would be good for both of them. “But, um. Evens though you hurt me and dids bad things, ams givins you the second chance. I know you wasn’ts my friends before, but you ams my friends now. And you makes me happy, and I cares about you, so I’ms not gonna gives up on you.”

Magnus’ heart beat in his throat. That just might’ve been the kindest thing anyone had ever said to him. “I...care about you, too.” He tried to squeeze out more words, like thank you for one, but there was an honest to god possibility he’d start to choke up.

Toki seemed to understand his difficulty and smiled as he brought Magnus’ hand back to the curve of his cheek. “Kiss me agains.”

“If youre sure it’s okay.”

“Is more than okays.”

This time it was tender and unhurried, still just as heated but without the frantic urgency, very unlike any kiss Magnus has ever experienced. There was a love in it, something gentle, something that made him ache so sweetly inside and at the same time catch fire.

“I don’ts wants to go,” Toki sighed into his mouth.

“Then don’t go,” Magnus said, burning, their foreheads touching. “I’m so fucking tired of missing you when you’re gone. Stay with me tonight? Please?” To say please, to ask for such a thing aloud so blatantly, it was like cracking his chest open all over again, exposing his heart.

Toki nodded, rubbing their noses together, and he took Magnus by the wrists and drew him away from the door. “Lets me takes you to bed.”

“Toki...”

“Lets me takes care of you.”

Magnus allowed himself to be led. And in the comforting darkness of the bedroom, with his arms curled over Toki’s strong shoulders, he allowed himself to be loved.

[bbeelzemon]

alright i think this is close enough to the 10th now that i dont think im gonna get any more attacks, so here’s something i noticed last week about this year’s artfight experience!

something i find really interesting is that.. nobody drew niyt this year! i dont mean that in any sort of negative way, i promise, and im so glad that everyone drew what they did!! looking at my 'defenses’ folder this year makes me cry out of joy LOL

but im just a bit intrigued, because last year, niyt got the most attacks by far out of all of my characters, even non-TLH ones that were up then :0c though also, last year was mostly attacks by random users and not people i already know, so maybe it was just total luck of the draw (heheh) that most people last year decided to draw niyt? who knows!

ALSO last year i only had niyt, gihr, and vis from my main cast uploaded there (or designed at all tbh), and on top of that, gihr looked SUPER different back then as well lmao so there was less options last year for people to choose from!

anyway, tamo was my most drawn character this year!! (everybody care tamo 🥺) followed by jyohd and vis, who are tied for second! thank you to everyone who participated this year with me!! 🥺🥺