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#i think about this every day of my life its so funny
cheeseceli · 2 days
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That must be right
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Pairing: Min Yoongi × Gn!reader
Genre: fluff, f2l, drabble
Request: can i request a yoongi idolbf! x reader and its just like a fluffy date, they're just dating and didnt really actually confess their feeling yet and like at the end of the date he or reader confesses
Warnings: tzuyu (twice) makes a cameo, suga overthinks a bit, y/n was delulu for a second here, not proofread.
A/n: don't you just love when he smiles | daily click
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Yoongi doesn't know what to feel right now.
He should be happy, because oh my God this is happening. But he should also be anxious, because what is he supposed to do now that this is happening? And on top of it, he should be scared, because is this even supposed to be happening?
The way you saved his number as "my love" is a fact that has been spiraling in his head for hours now, since he discovered it. And it is just a silly little detail about your every day life. He wasn't even supposed to know about that. But he does. And now he can't stop thinking about that.
It's also about how you told Tzuyu (who definitely shouldn't have told Suga) you couldn't go out with her since you were having a date with your boyfriend. The boyfriend being Yoongi. And the date being the place you guys should go to in a few hours.
And there's nothing wrong with that, right? Except for the fact that you called him your boyfriend when he is... not your boyfriend. He would love to be, of course! But he is not. Unless he got lost in translation, which he highly doubts, considering how he is always replaying everything you say and do in his mind.
But you called him that. And, in some type of way, you called him your love as well. Never to his face, but you did. And Yoongi has no idea on how much of that he should consider. It could be just a not very funny joke. But you wouldn't joke about it, would you? So maybe he should just behave like nothing happened. Yeah, that's right. He shouldn't even know about those things at all.
So for the rest of the day, he pretends that he didn't discover anything. Everything is exactly as it was. But he can't bring himself to actually forget those. "My boyfriend". "My love". Those sentences were quite harsh to forget about.
You guys are on a date, so why can't you be actually dating? Do you even know that this is a romantic date? Does Yoongi know that? When did the line between friends who are secretly in love and actual lovers blurry itself so hard? It's getting ridiculous at this point. So many questions and very few answers.
He watches as you hold the huge popcorn bucket, trying your best not to drop anything. You were just waiting in line with him, waiting for the movie session to start, but you were so happy. Even when just standing still, your eyes were undeniably full of joy.
Yoongi also didn't miss how you never failed at being close to him. Not on a way to overwhelm him, just to be there. Like you just wanted his company, even if you weren't touching each other. Even if you were in complete silence, even if you didn't even look at each other just yet. You were both there. And that was all that mattered.
Useless to say that he paid absolutely no attention to the movie on the silver screen. He had no idea of who was staring in it, or what it was about. He barely looked at it to be honest. He was looking at you all the time. My boyfriend. My love. You surely acted like there was truth to those words.
For the first time in the past hour or so he looked away from you. He focused his gaze on the movie playing instead, but only because he wanted to reach to hold your hand, and he wouldn't be able to do it if he looked at you while doing so. That was proven particularly correct as he felt you turning your head just to look at him the moment you felt his touch.
He should've looked though. Maybe then he would see how your eyes proved that Yoongi was indeed your love. Maybe just not your boyfriend. Yet. That was soon to be solved, as he was already planning on how to confess the moment the two of you got out of the movie theater.
You were, after all, calling him your boyfriend for a while now. However, now it was time for him to call you his partner. Oh, and he so would do it. It felt right to do so.
And if it feels right, it must be right.
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Masterlist | you'll probably like: shut me up
Reminder that this is all fiction! This does not represent the members in real life!
Taglist: @yuyubeans @butnotmontana
Dividers by @sweetmelodygraphics | credits for images 1, 2 and 3
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bigfatbimbo · 2 days
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Hey there! @hazbinhotelmollykisser here yet again, with the promised bill rambles :)
Forgive me if the following words sound like nonsense, I'm trying lol
SO. I'll be covering the bill with a more powerful reader and sub bill because your works have changed my brain chemistry, masochist bill because I'M GOING INSANE AN I NEED TO BE SEDATED, and bill with a reader that likes to tease him (with a more powerful reader version and a just a human version) because I need to study his reactions to teasing like I'm Stanford studying like... Science + math = triangles or something.
・Bill x More powerful reader
So I actually made an entire oc for this literally as soon as I finished reading the og post, which I will refrain on ranting abt, but the idea of a reader that's more powerful than bill is fascinating to me.
Because like, he's bill so he's obviously gonna try to get under your skin, but imagine a reader that sees his attempts to annoy them and just... Like laughs? A reader that finds his attempts almost endearing? Reverting whatever bill did back to before with just a snap and maybe a passing comment about his mischief.
It would drive him mad I think, he'd be rlly annoyed and pissy about it.
Or alternatively, a reader that does get angry when he tries to annoy them, (a loud and aggressive angry or a quiet festering angry both yielding different reactions from bill) and Bill takes it as motivation to keep annoying you (and it's definitely only because he thinks it's funny and totally definitely no other reason).
(Holy shit this is already getting long)
・Sub!Bill
So obviously a brat right? Like very obviously? We all agree on that.
And this next bit will probably just be regurgitating your points because I can't stop having the same opinions as you,
I personally need to see any + every version of bill cipher getting taken down a peg. Like I need to just. Ruin his life a little. Like I need to cause him mental peril and make it up to him (but actually it's only for me) by making him beg for what he wants and not giving him anything unless he asks out loud because "well I'm not a mind reader" (more powerful reader probably IS but shhhh..)
I want him to cry and beg (as do most people who read your blog honestly)
・masochist bill
Thinking about the way that bill literally talks about going out of his way to inflict pain onto the bodies he "possesses" (? Idk if that's the word I should use) made me think. Like too much thinking too many thoughts, to the point that I at multiple points almost wrote a small drabble in my notes app about it. (I would've if I could think of any words to write down when I need them 😭)
But like he's definitely some kind masochist right?
I can't think of any scenarios for human reader he made a deal with and bill for this category but imagine with me pls, a HUMAN reader, that he made a deal with (is actively trying to manipulate), causing him PAIN somehow (directly or indirectly), and he... DOSENT MIND? because 1. He's gonna have a mental breakdown because of it probably, and 2. He dosent JUST not mind. It's like EXCITING but not normal exciting.
So basically he'd be freaking out.
And with a reader that's more powerful than him? I think it'd be clear as day. Going hand in hand with the angry reader that's more powerful than him thing above, he would absolutely get off on annoying them until they snap at him (specifically the snap at him part). And when reader notices, they're obviously gonna make fun of him because hes being pathetic lol.
I think I have run out of masochist bill words now so onto the next topic.
・tease reader (human) x bill
My main reason for bringing this up is I love the idea of the powerful bill cipher being.. Well, flustered.
Like maybe when it's triangle form bill its easier to hide for him but if it were human bill reader would be able to tell almost instantly probably.
And more opportunities to make fun of bill for being a pathetic little creature are always good :)
・tease reader (more powerful) x bill
OOWOWHEOEJEIEBSJBSISNDH I love this idea so so SO SO SOSOSOSO MUCH!!!3&:28&:9.
SO MANY MORE OPPORTUNITIES TO TEASE AND NOT GET KILLED :)
Like imagine with me, your teasing bill and he gets all "upset" and probably threatens you, you don't gotta back off, you infact can tease him even more for thinking that he can threaten you. Shheheheheheheh.
I think that's all my words, I seem to have run out.
I hope that big lump of nothing text (800-ish words 😰) was enough to make up for my sudden dissapearence after promising to talk about bill TWO WEEKS AGO
Forgive my probably dogshit spelling and grammar pls
and hope you have a good day/night/whatever!
IUAHAHSHSHSHSHHSHDHSHAHS I LOVE THINGS LIKE THIS IN MY INBOX!!!!! Because it’s like wow, you did all the work for me! 😊
Ugh, this is so good tho. I always love to hear your thoughts, you are one of my FAV anons!!!!!
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midnightwriter21 · 2 days
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aot hcs: them as boyfriends
characters: levi, eren, connie
warnings: i have the mouth of a sailor im srry
an: first aot fic lesss gooooooo!!! lmk if y’all want another part with diff characters!!
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LEVI ACKERMAN
*sigh* he's so girlfriend
starting off strong...
this man is NAWT kissing you in public lololol
he's got a reputation to uphold
however!!
he will show pda in much smaller, more subtle ways
walking down the street, he's offering his arm for you to loop yours through
or guiding you with a hand on your lower back
if y'all are walking through a crowd he is CRUSHING your hand with his grip
he's not trying to hurt your hand haha
he's just strong, can't see over peoples heads, and doesn't wanna lose you in the sea of people
he'll keep that unbothered bored look on his face but just know that on the inside that this man is stressed lmfao
alsoooo
service bf to the maxxxxx
dude is not good with expressing his feelings
especially romantic ones lol
so he expresses his love by doing little tasks for you
oh you forgot to get food for your cat?
levi already has it
can't get that jar of pickles open?
he's snatching it out your hands and popping it open
and you already know your house is about to be the CLEANEST its ever been on god
next
i feel so bad
for the person to shit talk you in front of levi
on my mama let somebody say something slick lmfaooo
he is not gonna let it slide
forget getting physically violent
this mans mouth is absolutely DIABOLICAL
in more ways than one if ur picking up what im putting down
*ahem* will make said person cry with his words alone
period.
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EREN YEAGER
meowwwwwwwww
bark bark bark
*insert other animal noise here*
huh? somebody say something?
no? okay
AHEM
this man right here? cocky asf
dude is fine
and knows it too
and he knows y’all make a FINEEEE ASS COUPLE
shows you and your relationship off all the time
not a day goes by where he’s not posting you on social media
and he coordinates yalls outfits too omg
he makes sure his clothes match yours
not exactly matching ofc but the colors
if ur wearing a red dress to an event
he’s wearing a red tie
it’s a casual day and you’re wearing a blue shirt or dress?
his shoes/accessories/etc. are gonna be the same color
it’s an aesthetic that he keeps up with. period.
also he CANNOT keep ur name out his mouth
brings you up in every conversation possible
“i think y/n mentioned wanting to go see that movie too. was it good?”
“nah sorry, my girl said she wants to have a date night soon so i’ll have to pass. we can make plans another day though.”
“i gotta go to the store when i leave here. i wanna get some stuff to surprise my girlfriend, y/n, when i get home.”
and he is handsy asf
bro is touching you at all times swear
it’s impossible to walk past this man without him latching onto you and lathering you in kisses and feeling you up
in public he’s gonna keep it respectful tho
unless he knows he won’t get caught lmfao
introduces you to mikasa and armin
wants all of the important people in his life to get along ofc
i love him sm
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CONNIE SPRINGER
let’s get right into it shall we?
as soon as y’all make it official
i mean the MINUTE y’all are boyfriend girlfriend
he’s calling up all his friends to tell them the news
and then he’s making plans for them to meet up so he can introduce you
i feel like he takes you on a lot of fun dates
y’all don’t jus go get dinner and then go home
that’s too lame for connie
he’s taking you to laser tag, haunted houses, trampoline parks, etc.
and let me tell you this rn
come close
connie is NOT teaming up with you for laser tag
he’s making sure he’s on the opposite team so he can’t hunt you down over and over
will not take it easy on you idc
anyways… when y’all do go to dinner
7/10 times sasha is third wheeling yall
maybe jean too lol
idk i jus think that for connie it’s “the more the merrier”
especially since dinner isn’t something that’s gonna get his blood pumping yk?
but at least y’all can all get drunk and be funny together as a group right?
connie is so incredibly dedicated to being a dumbass around you
like as long as it makes you laugh, nothing is off limits
bro is constantly cracking jokes, telling embarrassing stories, doing stupid shit in public
he wants you happy. at. all. times.
this being said
if ur sad connie is doing anything and everything to cheer you up
i’m talking getting you ur fav snacks, renting that movie you always talk about, and pulling you close for a snuggle
yeah so i want to eat him basically
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dovedrangeas · 1 year
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happy birthday king thanks for giving us the funniest mental image for dsmp that one time
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oceanwithouthermoon · 4 months
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imo everyone who insists that saikis life was perfect and he was a spoiled brat complaining about nothing are just purposefully ignoring and misinterpreting the whole manga simply because they like other characters better and want to make up scenarios to make their fav seem like a precious little victim in every situation
its hard to explain but i see it happen a lot with specifically people who have dedicated accounts for other characters and constantly misattribute every issue to "saikis such a baby, my character has it way worse!" "saiki hurt my babys feelings once so i hate him!" "saikis such a spoiled brat, my baby has a way shittier life and never complains about it!" "saiki hurt my poor precious fav once so hes an abusive monster!"
and said "shittier life" that they "never complain" about is either the persons headcanons (literally made up) or... the character DOES complain about it and the person takes those words at FACE VALUE but ignores everything else, including things that actually HAPPEN right in front of our eyes
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bacchuschucklefuck · 3 months
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it just idea .......
#not art (yet) babeyy#had the thought of '' ogh hyperfem barbarian!fig'' the other day and. well thats another design set#and adaine's our Hoodie Kid™ this time#but the specifics of these silhouettes are kinda tricky#esp. with adaine and like. how to differentiate her and gorgug (who still wears a hoodie the normal way in freshman year)#still straight up have No idea what fabian and kristen look like yet...#they and riz are like the self-seekers coming into this freshman year and riz true to form looks like Nothing. just Absolute Squat#so it makes a Little sense if they go that way too. but thats like. idk I dont foresee that being visually interesting#no actually I dont think I can make kristen look like just some guy if I actively try. so we'll see about her#just thinking a little bit abt adaine showing up at school with a bag full of clothes she can change into so shes not wearing#the damn hudol uniform the whole day. but no second pair of shoes so she's wearing That with the mary janes#fig offers to switch shoes with her every day at school until adaine ends angwyn's life#(still gotta actually put it down on paper but I dont think fig stays hyperfem the whole way thru I think kristen is her awakening to#more aesthetics. which is funny bc I think kristen is the most Character character of them all. shes like naruto shes got a closet#of just the same pieces)#(this is a liittle bit informed by my exmo friend's stories. but also its an adhd thing sometimes. from experience)
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spaghett-onaplate · 4 months
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depression is really weird actually wdym i spent 2.5 years of my life in bed
#and wdym that lifestyle changed so quickly into being out and about and an active member of the world??#very proud of myself#and i mean it wasn't that quick of a change#it was like 1.5 years primarily depression bedrotting with occasional school -> primarily depression bedrotting ->#primarily depression bedrotting with 3-9 hours of work weekly -> straight into 31+ hours school+9-12 hours work weekly#so there was somewhat of a gradual progression#but still#also wowza i wake up 7-7:30am every morning now. 1pm was an early wake up for a not so insignificant amount of time#i mean of all fundamental growth years to miss out on the ages like what 12/13-15 aren't too bad? they would suck in a different way if i#had been socially involved#anyway it's just. yea i'm proud of myself but it is a crazy lifestyle change#and even when i was deeply depressed in a horrible routine i feel like i learned a lot. how to regulate my emotions and cope well and find#the joy in everything. bc if i stayed in bed all day then i would at least be happy about the sun or whatever#and for the while of being not at school at all i WANTED to be at school i just could not find one bc our school system is so cute like tha#(basically every school is at capacity and the local school that has a guaranteed place for me would have been an all boys or girls 😭)#but i miraculously found and got into this school and miraculously made it work so well for me socially and now academically#it's also a good time to get back into school for my education bc any later and it woulda been pretty bad for all my certifications and uni#ive missed out on so much maths that its not worth it to me to try and catch up but my teacher knows that#but ive always hated maths regardless i only ever understood it for the first half of yr 7 then my attendance dropped#and after my recent exam i decided to try harder at school. but i still got an A on the exam i didn't study for!! academic weapon fr#i'm just idk thinking back to myself in the past few years#and how hopeless it all felt. but i got out of it!! i beat the depression and social anxiety and found a good place and made the most of it#and during the peak of my depression i remember i went out someplace near my old school and panicked so so badly about seeing#kids from my old school. and the friends at the time didnt really check on me when i went to shake and cry in a side street lmao#i kept the best of that friendgroup and have better friends now. but anyway now i take a bus each morning with some kids from my old school#and you see these hands? they look like they're shaking to you?#anyway yeah it's just cool i got to this point :) i really had no hope for so long but now i have a life i'm living and a future i'm build#--ing towards#which is funny i just decided some random day last november after watching some better call saul 'huh actually lawyer would b pretty cool'#and will i get there? we'll see but i do have hope now
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13eyond13 · 2 months
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actually stunned by how gay The Beatles has been all this time and I just never knew
#like its always just been there in my life but i just never paid attention#my university roomie was obsessed w them and had several beatles posters that i looked at every day#so stuff like the pictures of them from the let it be album are like engrained into my brain#and yet i never knew the lore??#nor did i know until recently that they were actually all high school buds nor did i know they wrote their own music#nor that they genuinely basically invented modern bands n using the studio the way they did etc. so all that was very impressive and cool#but THEN on top of that omg the angsty gayness of john and paul#like all i knew previously basically was that john was a thing w yoko ono and paul had a young wife recently#i had at one point heard of people shipping j&p together and was just kinda like wow i guess people will ship anything#I DIDNT KNOW#that they were actually like that cute and that insane together and that their song writing together was like an actual marriage#anywayz the old pictures and videos of them are just like jesus look how they look at each other i dont think it was just being bros#i am sort of in the camp of they prob didn't act on it for real but there was def some insane tension/chemistry going on#and then ofc once youre aware of this their songs take on so many possible meanings outside of just singing about their gfs and wives....#anyways i just have to vent about this somewhere bc im actually shocked at how this has just passed me by all these years#and it definitely was not on my bingo card for 2024 to fixate on the beatles but here we are lol#more proof to me that my ultimate fave trope or wtv is 'besties to enemies when really they actually probably wanted to be lovers'#gets me every time!!!!#whats been fun about this rabbit hole is how just every single one of my expectations has been reversed as well#i went in assuming i would like them best in this order:#(1) george (2) ringo (3) paul and (4) john#i was sure i would hate john i thought he sounded so pretentious and like such a douche#but no actually he is my fave one and it's literally in reverse order for me i find george my least fave#(i like his music and feel bad for how he got ignored in the band but i like him the least)#and then i literally am john paul ringo george in order of faves now#i just love when i get surprised like that idk it keeps me on my toes and keeps things exciting and fresh#and yes john is indeed pretentious and a douche but i didn't know he was also funny and vulnerable and that i like his voice and songs#the most in the bunch almost every time as well#the beatles#p
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monachopism · 4 months
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am i autistic or am i just paranoid. level: impossible
#seeing a friend of mine for the first time in 2 years but it was at a 9hr work training and i barely talked to him the whole time#so i text our gc multiple times bc im excited#but everyones drained from the day#so am i being a good loving kind person or am i being annoying as hell#my brain says the first one and my gut says the second#i also might have a big fat crush on this man (he is unfairly attractive and kind and funny and TALL)#so i may be overreacting bc of that#i just missed him and now my big fat crush on him is bigger and fatter than ever#at the end of our first summer he hugged me tight and told me he loved me (platonically)#then he asked if i was coming back and i said yes without any hesitation#and then he didnt come back#so ive been going on 2 years of stewing in this fucking crush soup and now im just#tumblr is the only place where i can talk abt this no one important in my life can know this#no one#i just really like him#and i wanna be around him all the time#and i wanna sit with him and talk to him and laugh with him#and help him with stuff#and i have not had an actual crush on someone since my sophomore and junior year of high school#which was 4 and 5 years ago at this point#this guy also kept staring at me from across the room and everytime i would glace in his direction he would look away#and every time i would get a glimpse of him at training i could physically feel the butterflies#hell#every time i even thought about the fact that we were in the same general area i would get butterflies#this never happens to me and its such a weird feeling#would you be so kind by dodie is the anthem of the hour rn#and i know there's a huge part of me that thinks i am unlovable bc of how i look#and ive never had anyone love me or even like me enough to initiate any kind of anything#ive been on one date in my life#never been kissed never had sex
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MAC OHHH MY FUCKING GOD. ONE OF THE EPISODES OF A SHOW EVER HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE NORMAL AFTER THIS???? HOW???? how long is he going to be FUCKING DEAD FOR!!!! the ashe & mark argument that i felt deep within my soul & miserable on behalf of both parties about them!!! dakotaisms!!! the fucking like. genre conflict of their sillygoofy teen titans shenanigans with a real world where there r men with guns who will simply kill you!! THEYRE WEEKENDING AT BERNIES WILLIAM WISPS PURPLE MORPH SUIT COVERED CORPSE. kicking down your door with a loud bang & then just standing there wild eyed kind of shaking and trembling like a chihuahua
DUUUUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE HEAH. FUCK. s1e19 definitely one of my favorites of all time. i listened to that one during the back half of my shift this afternoon and got to the ashe/mark argument just as i was starting pm checks.... standing in the cramped laundry room in the basement washing my filter socks like
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i think about them so much dude. AND THEYRE BOTH RIGHT. WHICH MAKES IT HURT MORE. LIKE. BOTH THEIR SIDES ARE SO REAL. i cannot wait for u to learn more about them pleaseeeee i need 2 talk winters family analysis with you when you get to . certain parts. season 2 is gonna fucking wreck u i know it.
BUT. THEY BALANCE IT OUT WITH THE SILLIES SO VERY FUCKING WELL. GOD. good fucking show dude. good fucking show !!!!!! williams ghost throwing ice cubes at mark while his fucking. rotting corpse sits in the bathtub!!! what thefuck man
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dykrophone · 7 months
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got queerbaited into reading a book by chatgpt. is this rock bottom
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coldvampire · 9 months
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anyway as soon as i pry myself off this couch im gonna share some screenshots of bg3 protags on my sideblog. just gotta like. reach the desk first.
#all i can think about is the shelves im gonna get installed here over the next little bit fdghj#yall dont understand its so hard to keep things clean and brain friendly when you just dont have anywhere to put stuff.#hellish#& then i get overwhelmed and turn into a massive bitch when i try to get it under control fdgh#instead its been like. 2 straight days of dopamine i fucking swear?? my body probably definitely wouldnt let me do this for a living#(my hip is screamingggg dfghgjj) but actually if i could & if i could work in a team then yeah. ykw i enjoy it.#organization go brrrrrrr#i dont think she was expecting me to work that fast either but ive been like a feral animal. skittering over clutter.#finding Spots for Things#okay i lied the flood was actually beneficial in one way to me specifically.#estranged father just forgot a Bunch of tool sets here & ive claimed them now fdghjk#that nail gun is MINE#she suggested i look out for an actual tool chest/bench thing (ykw the ones with wheels and stuff) for everything and i havent been that#excited for anything in months fdgh tools are expensive alright. too bad he took the table saw.#i dont talk much abt my Masc Hobbies as i call them lmao no real reason to but hoooboy i love to Build Things#give me that ikea desk ill have it done in an hour or less every time#maybe trade school is still on the horizon for me gfhj always wanted to Weld Stuff i think id be good at it#as much as i fuckin loathe yard maintenance i was a real garage sooooo bad its not even funny#shame i wasnt just inherently expected to know car stuff tm i feel like i would have loved it too#scarrier to learn on your own later in life especially with a lease vehicle but ill get there eventually#anyway yeah bg3! new mods. new ocs#have not done much with them yet but they Exist and theyre pretty
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fisheito · 9 months
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UM, ASTER/YAKUMO I ONLY *JUST* FOUND? HELLO?
I've never felt so seen. So represented. Thank u aster. Here are some of my fave lines
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#after reading this i had to consult The Chart to see if it lined up with the fic and#well. yeah. guess it did 😂😂😂😂#narration in aster's voice is so wonderfully comedic and snarky i loved every second of it. u manipulative gremlin#WHY IS YAKUMO SO CUTE HE SHOULDnT BE CUTE BUT I WANTNA *knuckles turning white from my trembling iron fist*#what was that picture of yakumo with the comment like [boys with big brown eyes like a baby cow stfu]#yeah that thing. that image was pulsing throughout the fic. intrusive adoring thought#aster sees yakumo's big soulful innocent eyes looking up at him and he's all#i need to slaughter him. i need to pound him into cutlets and distribute him to the masses for insane profit#ah..... is this cuteness aggression...#I NEED TO BULLY HIM. HE IS TRYNIG SO HARD TO BE GOOD I NEED TO#hyperventilates into my pizza box#sipping tea and reading while occasionally yelling out#SO true bestie [aster]. (melodramatic sigh)#idk why it's funny that yakumo squeaks in fic. it is SO FUNNY. hey look it's a squeaky mouse#wait he's a snake? are u sure? dont snake eat mice?...........ARE U SURE HE ISN'T A TINY minuscule RODENT LIVING INSIDE A DAISY? NO???#BIG DANGEROUS BLACK SHADOWY VENOMOUS SNAKE? ok..............sounds fake..........but if u say so........................#i'm fine. i'm not still having a Time of accepting mr serpent into my life. what are u talking about. i am fine.#i am reading words and acting in ways#hahahaaha! how can you awaken something when i already know it's awake??!!#(spoiler alert: i was not truly aware of its awakeness but i've been thinking of this fic for days so i'm pretty sure the awakening is NOW)#(insert pillar men theme) (sighs wearily at my own clownery)
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captorcorp · 11 months
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thinking about magolor and the lor again <- normal about kirby characters
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johnny-chaos · 4 months
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y'all the hlvr special interest is so bad right now it's getting embarrassing I actually can't stop thinking about it😭😭😭
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pepprs · 1 year
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ok. giving myself 4 minutes to make this post and then i finish my homework. i just am so deeply miserable. i really think i made a mistake. i should not be in grad school. i only took a year between this and undergrad and i am still so burned out and mentally ill. im working full time. im only taking one class and this program is supposed to be so good and aligned with what i want and all of that. but i just cant stand having homework. i just cant stand it. i think i am not cut out for academia even though i work in academia. i think i will never get better as long as im still living at home but i have to get better before i can no longer be living at home but i cant get better until im not living at home and every day i still live at home saps away at my will to live quite literally. i should not have started doing grad school without regaining my will to live. without restoring my love for reading and writing that i used to have voraciously when i was younger and less deeply miserable. without recovering from the burnout. i think i made a mistake. i need a masters degree so bad so that i can be safe but i need to not have fucking homework when i already struggle to get through my days without school. i feel so stuck in my life and hopeless and helpless. i dont know what to do
#purrs#i cant drop out or anything because. lol and this class isnt even that big of a deal like i TRULY am freaking out over nothing. but my life#situation is so bad rn bro like i cant get my parents to take me out to drive and i cant get myself to get my parents to take me out to#drive and every day i am guilt tripped berated etc etc and i feel like i am never ever ever going to be able to have my own life where i a#stable and safe and happy. it can happen for other people except for me and my siblings. i dont know. im not explaining anything well.#i just cant do this. i need to not have this one more thing on my plate but i have to because if i dont have a masters degree in my field i#am nothing even though everyone is telling me that isnt true and all of them are credible but im just so mentally ill i cant believe anyone#and icant accept any advice or hope or whatever good about me i just. am stuck. this is as good as it gets and its not even good.#delete later#that was 7 minutes not 4 and i didnt even write anything substantial. nutshell. i just have been so fucking depressed lately oh my goddddd#this is maybe too strong of a thing to say but like. i know it isnt technically neglect if i am an adult but... i think i may kind of be#neglected by my family in some ways a little bit and always have been but like. emotionally. like in the ways in which im never a priority#and the things i need are seen as burdens etc etc. and theres nothing anyone can do about it even myself because im an adult but like lol.#24 year old dependent moment <3#well there is one thing i can do about it as an adult actually. its called move out. but that requires strength i will#never possess unfortunately due to the inherent flaws in my character and constitution so. guess this is it lawl 🥰#side note (and i swear im done after this lol): i think i was doing a lot better mentally over the summer. funny how when the semester#starts i get depressed and the depression just gets worse and worse until the end of the semester 😻 funny how this is my seventh year like#this. willingly subjecting myself to this. that should be a clue no? but i love my job and if i could just have my job and be stable in it#would be happier but also im lying to mysaelf and i will always be unhappy but its because of my mental illness not my job being bad or#anything its like. i am just sick in the head with impostor syndrome and thats how i got myself into this whole mess. lol#well that and the not moving out thing which is partially my fault but also because i live in hell as described earlier! <3
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